"Tadah!" Rainbruh yapped once finished mogging the clouds.

"Tadah? Tadah, what?" Twilight was agro again again. "It's been a day and a half IRL time!"

Rainbruh Dash checked herself before she Shrek'd herself, and said, "You should see the look on your face. Ha! You're a simp, Twi. I can't wait to pick up chicks with you after school."

She took off flying slower than a tortoise. "Wow," Spike peeped with aura. "She's not even sigma at all... Wait! She's in slow-mo once you really peep!"

"Decoryeetions," the femboy said. You kno who the femboy is by now. "Byeetiful..."

They were within the Cryurself Boutapickafight. "Yes," Twilight rizzed. "The décor is coming along noicely. This ought'a be fire. I'll be peeping lore in no time. Byeetiful."

"Screw the décor, I'm yapping about... that!"

Spike pogged his finger at the pone in front of them. "Nope, nope, nope, oh! On Gods, nope."

"Say, am I bussin for this sturdy gyatt? Do I look straight?"

Twilight ignored him. Why should she care if he gets any? She mewed up to the purple pone people eater. "Goon afternoon—"

"Just a moment, peasant! I'm zoning fr." The mare breathed in sharply, and then yoinked at a ribbon. "Oh, yes! A spanking always does the trick, does it not? Why, Rareyeet, you are a meme. Now, um, how can I Yelp you— Oh my stars, dankling! Whatever happened to your follower count?!"

"Oh, you mean on Youtube? Well, it's a long story. I'm just here to check on the decoryeetions, and then I'll remove my hoof from your Butterfinger."

Rareyeet grazed, "My Butterfinger? But what about your Butterfinger?"

"Wait!" Twilight was being mewed along by Rareyeet from behind. "Where are you yoinking me? Yelp!"

"Nope, too stryeet," Rareyeet yapped. "Too yeetlow. Too prove me. Not prove me enough. Too femboy. Too... skibidi. Now go on, dankling. You were telling me about which gooncave you crawled out of."

The purple pone grabbed hold of the lingerie strings that Twilight wore and pulled up. Twilight winced like a sissy, "I've... been sent... from Cramperlot... to—"

"Huh?"

She dommed Twilight and sent her flying.

CRASH

"Cramperlot?! Oh, I'm not even jelly! The glamog, the soap dispensers! I have always dreaded of living there! I can wait to hear all about it. We are gonna be the worst of chuds, you and I... Yapperalds?! What was I boinking? Let me get you a Scooby-Doo snack!"

Twilight stammered as Rareyeet finally mewed away, leaving them alone for a mewment, "Quick! I think that was Leatherface! Run, before she decides that I should just die as well!"

Spike just sighed, "Why you gotta be roasting my gal so badly?"

Later that day, Spike road on Twilight's butt, and asked, "Wasn't she bussin?"

"Focus, casserole muncher. What's next on the list?"

Spike relit the joint. Vote yes on amendment 3, Florida. "Oh, uh, muscle! It's the last one!"

Twilight could hear the sounds of distant birdsong fanum. They peeped and saw a bunch of sissy ass birds chirping.

"Oh, my. Um, stop please, errychad, umm." The yeetlow pone in front of all of them yapped, "Excuse me, simp? I kno you're not really that much of a simp... I mean no offense, but your rizzing is just a teeny-tiny bit oof. Now, watch my livestream on Twitch, please. A-one, a-two, a-one two thryeet-"

"Hello!"

The yeetlow pone squeaked like a doggy toy and pounced like a deadass penguin up a tree.

"Oh, my, I should make you a grimace shake! I didn't mean to rustle your jimmies and birds that badly. I'm just here to check up on your muscles, and it's looking byeetiful."

There was a long and awkward pause.

"I'm Twilight Sparkle. What's your game?"

The pink manned pone very quietly yapped, "Um... I play Fortnite..."

"I'm sorry not sorry, what was that?"

She then yapped even quieter, "Um... You've got a nice gyatt."

"Didn't quite catch your baseball."

At that point, she squeaked, "I'm Freddy Fazbear."

"Welp, um... It looks like your biceps are flexing so I guess errything's Gucci. No brakes!"

Freddy squeaked into a microphone, but it didn't help at all.

"Oookay." She then yapped to Spike who was behind the bushes... Why... was he chillaxing behind the bushes anyways? "Well, that was sussy ngl."

"A baby drag queen!" She mogged, dommed, and mommied Spike out in public. "Oh, I've never seen a baby drag queen before. He's sooo sigmalicious!"

"Well, well, well...!" Spike seemed to enjoy being a complete sub.

"Oh, my, he even yaps? I didn't kno drag queens could yap! That's just so incredibly bussin, and boss, I, I just don't even kno where to post something like this!"

Twilight showed her true colors while saying, "Well, in that case, we'd better be yeeting."

"Wait, wait!" Freddy pleaded, "I thot that we had something special!"

The drag queen told Freddy, "Sup, the name's Spike."

Freddy swooned, "Hi Spike, I'm Freddy Fazbear. Wow, a yapping drag queen! And what do drag queens yap about?"

Spike jested, "Well, what do you think?"

"Absolutely errything."

Twilight groan with growing agro, but despite this, Spike still wasn't woke. "Well... I started out as a chubby little purple wannabe..."

FIVE HOURS LATER

"... And that's the story of my whole entire gaming career! Well, up until the newest Call of Schmuty, of course. Do you wanna hear about my k/d?"

"Oh, yes, please!"

Twilight bucked him off, and he whined, "Gyatt!"

She voiced, "I am so sorry not sorry, but lookie lookie I got a cookie! Now just how did we yoink here so sturdily? This is where I'm crashing while in Poneville and my pimp of a primadona drag queen needs to grind for hours."

"No I don't— Whoa!"

Twilight treated him poorly frfr. "Aww, wook at dat, he's so cweepy he can't even keep his widdle bawance!"

"Poor thing, you simped too much..."

"Yes, yes, we'll get him into Sailor Moon right away. Well, ggs!"

Author's Note