Chapters The mechanical ticking of my wall clock echoes through the oppressive silence of the library. It's late, and yet I can't find sleep. The soft flicker of the candles casts long, dancing shadows on the walls, as if they were trying to bring the countless books on the shelves to life. Like disciplined soldiers, they stand there, still, patient, always ready. The familiar scent of ink and parchment hangs heavy in the air, reminding me of my room in Canterlot.
If I close my eyes and focus solely on that scent, I can even imagine what it would be like if I had never left Canterlot. I see myself in my old room, bathed in the warm light of the torches, surrounded by the walls that once gave me comfort and protection. There, hunched over my desk, I would be deeply absorbed in a book or pondering a magical formula, in a state of complete satisfaction. It would be... perfect.
But now... now I’m here. In Ponyville. Far away from everything I know. I open my eyes again, and the now-familiar shadows of the library suddenly seem foreign and cold. I try to calm the storm in my head, but the thoughts won’t go away. After the events of the Summer Sun Celebration, I decided to stay here in Ponyville... or did I really? The truth is, the decision was never truly mine. Celestia had long since determined that my place would be here. Not me.
Celestia. Everything I do, I do for her. Every decision, every step, every effort, all just to live up to her image. I am her most loyal student. When I saw how proud she looked at me and my newfound friends, I knew exactly what she expected of me. That look... it was as if I had finally proven I was worthy of standing by her side. So, I left. Without hesitation. Because I couldn’t fail. Because I couldn’t disappoint her.
She instructed me to study the magic of friendship. A ridiculous subject, if you ask me, but who am I to question Celestia? Every Tuesday, I write her a report about what I’ve learned about friendship over the past week. Friendship. A word that carries so much weight for others, but for me, it still feels hollow.
The other ponies in Ponyville... they’re nice, I must admit. It makes it easier to talk to them, easier to maintain the façade. But deep down, I know they don’t really interest me. Not truly. It’s almost ironic when I think about it. Never before have I had so many friends, and yet I’ve never felt so lonely as I do here in Ponyville.
It’s only in the quiet of the night, when I’m alone in my library, that the mask falls. Then I feel a little more like myself. The pony I am during the day - that’s not really me. A part of me stayed behind in Canterlot, in the halls of the castle, at Celestia’s side.
Sometimes, I wonder if Celestia even knows. Does she understand what she did to me by sending me here? Did she ever consider what it meant for me to be away from everything I knew? Or... or did she simply not care? I shake my head. No. I mustn’t think that way. Celestia only wants the best for me... she’s always said that.
But the longer I stay here in Ponyville, the harder it becomes to push those thoughts away. Who am I anymore? During the day, I can maintain the mask - smiling, talking, pretending that I care about all of this. But at night... at night, I’m alone. Alone with my thoughts, which won’t leave me alone.
It feels as if I’m losing control.
I watch the other ponies, as they laugh, talk, and live their lives as if everything is so easy. Sometimes I wonder if they notice. Do they know that I don’t really belong here? That I’m not truly part of this town? Maybe they’re just waiting for me to fail.
And me? There’s nothing I can do about it. We have to be the best of friends, because if we weren’t... I would have failed.
“Twilight?” Spike’s voice pulls me from my thoughts.
I slowly turn around and look into Spike’s eyes. His eyes. They seem so sad, so confused. Is he feeling the same way I do? Does he feel this same inexplicable pressure weighing down on my chest?
“Yes, Spike? What is it?” I ask, trying to keep my voice calm. A smile. Just a small, weak smile, to reassure him. It feels wrong, unnatural, but I force it onto my face.
Spike looks at me, his brow slightly furrowed. “Why aren’t you in bed?” he asks softly, the concern in his voice unmistakable. “I’m worried about you. You... you’ve been staring out the window since I came down here. You didn’t even notice I was here.”
His words hit me, as if I’ve been snapped out of a dream. How long have I been sitting here? I try to recall the moment he entered the room, but there’s nothing—just the dull feeling that I’m losing control.
“Oh, Spike, I’m sorry for worrying you,” I said with the same forced smile on my face. It felt foreign. A joke. Maybe that would ease the tension. “I was just lost in thought, you know how I can be sometimes.” A small laugh followed, light, almost forced. “I promise I’ll go to bed soon. You go ahead, okay?”
I tried to put on the sweetest smile I could manage in that moment, as if it could wipe away all his worries. But when I looked into his eyes, I saw the doubt in them. He didn’t believe me. Not entirely.
“Okay,” Spike murmured finally, but his gaze said more than his words. He was worried. For a moment, I toyed with the idea of telling him what was really going on in my head... the silence that enveloped me every night, the loneliness that cut deeper the longer I stayed here, the thoughts that surrounded me like a dark fog and ate away at me. But I couldn’t. I mustn’t. I love it here in Ponyville...
“Don’t stay up too late, Twilight,” he added, before slowly climbing the stairs. His footsteps echoed softly through the library, and with each step, he grew further away.
The smile I had put on for him disappeared as soon as I was sure he was out of sight. I felt empty. I decided to make myself something to eat before finally going to bed. Something to pull me away from the window. The kitchen, like the library, was silent and empty. A sign that I would need to go shopping the next day. I opened one of the cupboards and found half a loaf of uncut bread and a nearly empty jar of jam. It somehow fit. Almost empty. Incomplete.
I used my magic to grab one of the long kitchen knives and cut a slice from the bread. A simple slice, mechanical, almost thoughtless. But as I turned my gaze to the blade, it caught on my reflection. My eyes. Small, tired, and surrounded by dark circles. Was that really me?
For a moment, I stared at myself, as if a stranger stood before me. When did I become like this? The thought came unexpectedly and hit me like a punch. The Twilight I saw in the reflection was so far from the image I once had of myself. Celestia’s student. The talented, disciplined magician.
Now? Now I was just a shadow of my former self, tired, exhausted, and without a clear goal. How could I have let this happen? Apparently, I didn’t even have control over my own body anymore.
I couldn’t tear my gaze away from the blade. So sharp, so precise. Like a perfect instrument, promising control... control that was slipping further and further from me.
It would be so easy. A small cut. A moment of clarity amidst the chaos. I could do whatever I wanted, and no one could stop me.
My breathing quickened, and I felt the familiar magic tighten its grip around the knife. A small cut... maybe that would calm the storm in my head, if only for a moment. I held the blade to my leg and felt the cold metal against my skin.
But then I hesitated. What was I doing?
What had just happened?
My gaze drifted to my leg. A small cut. A thin red line ran across my skin, barely noticeable, but still shocking in its reality. My breath came in quick bursts, my heart pounded wildly in my chest, as if I had just run a marathon. What was I thinking?
I carefully placed the knife to the side, as if it were a living thing that could take control again at any moment. How clumsy was I to let something like that happen? It was ridiculous. Now I couldn’t even cut bread without cutting myself. I took a deep breath and left the knife in the sink. It was just a stupid accident, Twilight, nothing to panic about, I repeated in my mind, as if the mantra could make everything better.
What’s wrong with me?
I wanted to distract myself, so I grabbed the bread and tried to focus again on what I had originally intended to do: eat. I levitated the bread with my magic and spread the jam over it. The motion calmed me a little. Eat something, go to bed, and tomorrow will be better. Yes, tomorrow will be better. It has to be.
But when I took the first bite, the bread tasted like nothing. The jam, usually sweet and fruity, now seemed bland. All I tasted was... nothing.
I set the plate aside, unable to eat more. What’s wrong with me? Slowly, I made my way to my bedroom, the walk feeling endlessly long. I crawled into bed, pulled the blanket over myself, but sleep wouldn’t come. My body was exhausted, yet my mind... my mind couldn’t stop thinking. I heard the faint sound of Spike snoring and once again the mechanical ticking of my wall clock.
Author's Note
Thanks for reading. I appreciate every rating and every comment.
The sun had risen by now, and the first rays gently streamed through the window. Yet I felt no warmth. It was as if the sun shone right through me, leaving no trace. The night had been a restless jumble of waking moments and short, dreamless phases of sleep. My body felt heavy.
Slowly, I sat up, my gaze wandering around the room. Spike was already up; his bed was empty. He was probably making us breakfast.
I sat there for another moment, staring into the emptiness before me, as if waiting for something that would never come. A part of me wanted to stay in bed, pull the blanket over my head, and ignore the day. But that wasn’t an option. I had to keep going. Somehow.
I stood up, listening to the melodic clatter of my hooves on the wooden floor, a strangely soothing sound in the quiet of the library. As I descended the stairs, I saw Spike in the kitchen. He stood at the stove, making us some sandwiches from the leftover bread.
When he noticed me, he turned toward the stairs. His smile - it was there, as always, but something about it felt... off. It seemed forced, as if he was trying too hard.
“Good morning, Twilight,” he said, his voice attempting to sound cheerful. “How are you today?”
He placed a plate of three sandwiches on the table. His gaze lingered on me a moment too long, as if searching for something I couldn’t give him.
“I didn’t sleep well,” I stated plainly, keeping my voice devoid of much emotion. “But other than that, I’m fine.”
I sat at the table, grabbed one of the sandwiches, and began chewing mechanically. “And how are you?” I asked, more out of habit than real interest, forcing a weak smile.
“Well, we definitely need to go to the market today,” Spike replied, sitting down next to me. “Our cupboards are almost completely empty.”
He spoke calmly, but then hesitated for a moment before continuing. “Uh, Twilight,” he began, his voice now less subtle, with clear concern in it, “did you make yourself something to eat in the kitchen last night?” His eyes searched mine, and I could see a flicker of doubt there.
“Yes,” I replied shortly. “Just a slice of bread with jam, nothing more.” I took another bite of my sandwich, trying to dismiss his question as quickly as possible, as if it were unimportant.
But Spike kept staring, his large eyes filled with uncertainty. “But... that wasn’t jam on the floor,” he said, his nervousness growing. Why was he so nervous?
“There was something on the floor?” I asked, confused, trying to remember. But there was nothing. I couldn’t recall dropping anything last night. “Strange. I didn’t notice anything.”
“Twilight, there were two drops of blood on the floor. Did you hurt yourself?” Spike’s voice was laced with worry, almost panicked, and his eyes flashed with uncertainty.
Ah, so that’s what the concern was about. “Don’t worry, Spike,” I said, forcing a reassuring smile. “It’s nothing serious. I just cut myself a little while slicing the bread. Barely worth mentioning.” My words were light, almost casual, as if it truly were nothing.
“That’s never happened before,” Spike pointed out, and I could hear the faint hint of accusation in his voice. “You’re a unicorn, Twilight. How could something like that even happen? You hold the knife with your magic.”
His words hit me, but I didn’t let it show. He was right. That had never happened before. How could I have been so clumsy? “It was late, and I was tired,” I replied with an almost amused tone, trying to push down the unease within me. “Don’t worry so much, Spike. Little accidents can happen to anyone.”
He studied me for a moment before standing up, taking the plates from the table, and carrying them to the sink. “Well, if you say so,” he muttered, but the concern in his voice hadn’t completely disappeared.
The rest of the morning passed uneventfully. I went to the bathroom and got ready for the day, and Spike did the same once I was finished. We didn’t exchange any words.
The library wouldn’t open for a few more hours, so we decided to use the time to go to the market and pick up some much-needed groceries. I packed a bag, and together we set off.
When we reached the market, it seemed like all of Ponyville was already awake. The colorful stalls were surrounded by cheerful ponies chatting animatedly and exchanging goods. Laughter filled the air, and everywhere ponies greeted each other, as if it were the most natural and beautiful part of their day.
While Spike looked over a few stalls, I stood off to the side, letting my gaze drift over the ponies. It came so easily to them -talking, laughing. Everything seemed so effortless.
One of the vendors, who was happily offering carrots, waved at me with a friendly smile. Carrot Top. We had spoken a few times before. She was always kind, always in good spirits. I forced myself to smile and waved back cheerfully. That was what was expected of me, wasn’t it? That was my role. Smile, wave, be nice.
Spike returned, carrying a bag full of various vegetables, almost bigger than he was. I could tell he was struggling with the weight, but he didn’t want to ask for help. He could be as stubborn as I was.
With a soft smile, I lit up my horn and used my magic to lift the bag - and Spike as well - placing them both on my back. “What do we need next?” I asked, trying to keep the day’s routine going.
Spike grabbed the shopping list from my saddlebag and crossed off a few items. “Next, we need some fruit,” he said, nodding in satisfaction. “Maybe we can visit Applejack at her stand and buy some apples.”
I turned in the direction where I knew Applejack had set up her stand and started trotting steadily. As we walked through the market, a few other ponies greeted us with friendly smiles. A smile, a nod, a few words.
When we reached the stand, I noticed a small line. At the back, I spotted Rarity, patiently waiting for her turn. “Hey, Rarity!” I heard Spike call out, his voice full of excitement. Apparently, I wasn’t the only one who had noticed her.
Rarity turned and saw us. A bright, genuine smile spread across her face as she greeted us. “Oh, hello, you two!” she said in her usual friendly manner. Then her gaze slid over me, and I could see her looking me up and down.
“Twilight, darling,” she began in a soft but concerned voice. “Are you getting enough sleep?”
Was it that obvious? I had gone to great lengths to cover the signs of my sleepless nights, but Rarity’s sharp eyes missed nothing. If anyone would notice, it would be her.
For a moment, I felt my shoulders tense. I had to keep control. A calm, collected smile crept onto my face, though inside, I felt my nerves tighten. “Oh, Rarity, I’m fine,” I said, trying to make my voice sound as steady as possible. “Just a few restless nights. Nothing you need to worry about.”
Rarity frowned, not entirely convinced. “Well, I hope so. You know, it’s important for a lady to take care of herself, Twilight. I know your studies are important to you, but don’t neglect yourself in the process.” Her voice was gentle, but her eyes still scrutinized me, as if trying to see through my smile.
Spike, who had been listening to the conversation, nodded eagerly. “Yeah, Twilight! You’ve been so distant lately. Maybe you should take a break and get some rest.”
I turned slightly away, trying to escape the intensity of their gazes. “I know, I know,” I said quietly. “But really, it’s nothing. I’ve just... had a lot on my mind.” It wasn’t a lie, but it didn’t feel like the whole truth either.
Rarity placed a hoof on my shoulder and gave me a warm smile. “If you ever want to talk, Twilight, I’m here for you. Sometimes it helps to just get your thoughts out.”
Her offer was sincere, I knew that. Rarity was always someone who wanted to listen and help. But I couldn’t accept it. What kind of friend would I be if I told her I didn’t feel comfortable in Ponyville? That I didn’t enjoy being here, didn’t enjoy being with them? What would they think? What would Celestia think?
“Thank you, Rarity,” I said, forcing a smile that felt far too heavy on my face. “That’s really kind of you. But I’m fine. It’s just... a lot going on at the moment.” My voice sounded lighter than I actually felt.
Rarity didn’t seem fully convinced, but she nodded anyway. “Alright, Twilight. But remember, I’m here if you need to talk.”
At that moment, I heard Spike drop something behind me. “Oh, sorry! I... I must’ve dropped the bag with the vegetables,” he stammered, jumping down to pick everything up.
“Twilight, why don’t you go ahead and buy the apples from Applejack while I help Spike pick up the groceries?” Rarity suggested.
For a moment, I was confused. Why would Rarity help Spike and not me, especially when our groceries had fallen and she was ahead of us in line anyway? But then it dawned on me. She probably just wanted to help me out because she was worried. That was typical of Rarity, always so thoughtful. Yet, it left a strange feeling in me.
“Of course, I’ll go ahead,” I said, my voice carefully neutral as I walked away.
As I turned, I saw Rarity lean down to Spike, who was now nervously fumbling with a few tomatoes, as if unsure what to do with them. She whispered something I couldn’t hear, and Spike responded quietly, almost as if he was afraid I might overhear.
They’re talking about me.
I knew it. Why else would they whisper? A heavy feeling settled on my chest, like an invisible weight, but I shook it off. Not now. I had to keep going as if nothing had happened.
When I reached Applejack’s stand, she greeted me with her usual cheerfulness. She didn’t seem to notice anything unusual about me. “Howdy, partner,” she called with her typical hearty smile. “What can I do for you?” Proudly, she gestured to the shiny apples and fresh produce displayed at her stand.
“Hello, Applejack,” I greeted back, forcing a smile. That was what was expected of me, wasn’t it? “I’d like six of your sweetest apples.” I pointed to some of the bright red ones in her basket.
Applejack nodded approvingly. “You know what’s good, sugarcube,” she said, grabbing a paper bag and filling it with the apples. She held the bag out to me, and I enveloped it in my magic. Three coins floated out from my saddlebag toward her, but Applejack quickly raised a hoof to refuse them.
“Oh, Twilight,” Applejack said with a warm smile. “You’re my friend. The apples are on the house.”
My smile became a bit more genuine, and I thanked her. As I turned around, my eyes fell on Spike and Rarity, who had stopped whispering and were now grinning at me - almost too widely.
“Looks like you’ve picked everything up,” I commented as I approached them.
“Yeah, everything’s picked up,” Rarity replied, a little too quickly, as if trying to cover for herself. I didn’t think much of it, grabbed Spike, and said goodbye to her.
Back home, I neatly put away the groceries in the kitchen. It was almost soothing to be back in my own environment. The quiet of the library settled over me like a protective blanket. Finally, peace. I began to immerse myself in my usual daily routine. Spike had started dusting the books and tidying everything up. The library had opened by now, but it wasn’t like ponies often came here.
I sank into one of the comfortable armchairs and grabbed a book from one of the shelves. The world around me faded as I let myself fall back into the safety of my routine. But I had only just started reading the first pages when there was a knock at the door.
A knock? By now, I had learned to differentiate between visits. Was it someone coming to borrow a book? Probably not. No one needed to knock to enter the library. But ponies who thought of the building more as my home - they would knock.
I walked to the door and opened it, and there stood Rarity. Her smile was warm, as always, but there was something else in her gaze - something I couldn’t quite place.
“Twilight, darling,” she began softly. “I thought I’d stop by to make sure you’re alright.”
“I’m fine, Rarity,” I replied quickly. Why was she really here?
“I’m not interrupting, am I?” she asked, and without waiting for my answer, stepped over the threshold. She sat down on my couch in the main room and immediately began making small talk, as if it were the most natural thing in the world.
Why was she staying?
“So, darling, I hope I’m not interrupting anything,” she added, shifting slightly on the couch, as if making herself at home.
“I was just about to relax with a book, nothing special,” I replied, my tone a bit annoyed. “Rarity, what’s the real reason you’re here?” I asked, resigned.
Her smile became a little nervous. “Real reason?” she repeated. “Twilight, you’re being paranoid. What reason would I need to visit one of my closest friends?”
She batted her eyelashes innocently, as if trying to disperse the tension.
I saw through her charade. “This has nothing to do with what you whispered to Spike behind my back earlier, does it?” My voice was cool, almost cutting, and I could feel the air in the room grow heavier.
Rarity’s eyes widened, and I could see her smile start to crumble. She knew she had been caught. She began to sweat slightly, avoiding my gaze. “Nooo,” she drew out the word too long, her eyes darting around the room as if searching for an escape. “I have no idea what you’re talking about, darling.”
Just as I was about to press Rarity further, there was a second knock at the door. Rarity’s relief was obvious. She visibly exhaled, as if the unexpected visitor had saved her from answering.
“We’re not done here,” I muttered, giving her a scathing look, and went to the door.
When I opened it, it was none other than Applejack and Rainbow Dash. They stood there with strangely neutral expressions on their faces, as if they were here for a reason - a reason they didn’t want to say out loud, I suspected.
“Uh, hey Twilight,” Rainbow began, her voice unusually hesitant. “We thought we’d stop by, you know, to see how you’re doing.”
How I’m doing? My thoughts raced. Why were they suddenly so concerned? Didn’t Rarity come with the same excuse?
“I’m fine,” I said quickly, forcing myself to smile. “You don’t need to stay; I have... a lot to do.” My voice might have been too rushed, but I needed them to leave.
“Oh, come on, Twi,” Applejack replied, stepping into the doorway so I couldn’t close the door. “We’re just a bit worried. You work so much, and we thought you could use some company.”
Company? A part of me wanted to scream and throw them out. But I couldn’t afford that. Something wasn’t right here, but I didn’t know what it was yet.
“I appreciate it, really, but I... need some rest. You can come by another time,” I tried again, but none of them seemed to move. Why wouldn’t they leave?
My thoughts spun faster and faster. What did they really want? My stomach knotted as my eyes drifted to Rarity, who still sat on the couch, as if she were waiting for something. They had planned this, that much was certain.
With a sigh, I finally motioned for them to come in. “Alright, you can come in. Rarity’s already here,” I said. “What a coincidence, right?”
Rainbow laughed nervously, rubbing the back of her head. “Yeah, what a coincidence,” she said, but her voice sounded less convinced than she probably intended. Without further hesitation, she sat down next to Rarity on the couch.
Coincidence? Hardly. My eyes narrowed, and the unpleasant tingling in my stomach grew stronger. Why were they pretending everything was normal? I tried to calm myself, but the thought of them all being here, uninvited, made my heart beat faster.
“Does anyone want tea?” I asked the room, my voice trying to remain calm. Tea would help soothe my frayed nerves. Back in Canterlot, I always had tea with Celestia. It reminded me of when everything was still normal.
“What a lovely idea, darling,” Rarity said with a charming smile, standing up from the couch. “I’ll make us some tea right away.”
No. I couldn’t allow that. Before she could step further toward the kitchen, I caught her with my magic, gently but firmly guiding her back to her seat. “Rarity, you’re in my home,” I said coolly, my smile frozen in place. “I’m perfectly capable of making tea for all of us.”
Rarity blinked in surprise, her smile faltering for a moment. I had to maintain control. “So,” I asked, squinting slightly with a forced smile, “does anyone have a specific preference?”
The tension in the room was palpable as everyone hesitated briefly.
“I’ll take some of that cherry blossom tea you brought from Canterlot,” Rarity finally said in her usual elegant voice, trying to smooth over the tension.
Rainbow Dash just rolled her eyes and leaned back. “I’ll take whatever you have,” she said, sounding annoyed.
I turned to Applejack, who was the last to respond. “I’ll take some peppermint tea,” she said with a weak smile.
I went into the kitchen and put the kettle on. The familiar hiss of the water slowly coming to a boil should have been calming. But it wasn’t. They were watching me. Every move I made was being followed by their eyes, as if they were just waiting for me to make a mistake.
Is that what this is about? Are they here to watch me? To control me? Why else would they show up in the middle of the day, just to stare at me?
I grabbed the steaming kettle and poured the hot water into four cups, each with its respective teabag ready. Balancing the steaming cups with my magic, I slowly walked back into the living room.
They were still staring at me. “Here’s your tea,” I said with a forced smile as I placed the cups in front of them. Rarity was the first to reach for hers, thanking me politely before taking a sip. Her eyes seemed to pierce through me, and I could swear she was scrutinizing me, as if she saw something in me that I couldn’t.
Applejack took her cup and nodded gratefully, while Rainbow Dash grabbed hers without saying a word, leaning back in her seat.
I sat down in the open armchair across from them and took a sip of my own tea, feeling the heat of the liquid on my tongue. I closed my eyes and focused on the tea’s aroma. I could almost imagine myself back in Canterlot, sipping tea in the palace with the Princess. Princess, Princess.
When I opened my eyes again, I was met with the same concerned gazes from my friends as they stared at me.
“Twilight,” Rarity began after a short silence, her voice unusually soft, almost too gentle. “I... know you’ve been working hard, but we’re worried about you. Maybe you should take a break? You know, get some rest.” She took another sip of her tea and looked me over. “Your mane is looking a bit dull, and your eyes... they seem wild. Those are clear signs of stress,” she added matter-of-factly.
A break? What did they mean by that? Did they want me to stop working? To neglect my projects and responsibilities? Neglect Celestia’s tasks? Or was it something else? Did they just want to make sure I had no time alone? No time to think clearly?
“I... I’m fine,” I finally replied, my voice sounding almost apologetic. “It’s true that my studies have been stressing me out a bit, but... I’m a big girl. I can take care of myself.”
I tried to keep my smile intact, but inside, the pressure was rising.
“Are you sure, darling? I know how easy it is to get wrapped up in a project, but...” Rarity’s voice was suddenly cut off by an impatient groan from Rainbow Dash.
“Oh, come on,” Rainbow said, crossing her wings. “Why are we dancing around the issue?”
Applejack shot her a sharp look and stepped forward. “Rainbow,” she warned, “we agreed to be careful.” She glanced back at me, her eyes holding something more than she was letting on.
Careful? Of what? I felt my heart begin to race. What were they really talking about?
Rainbow rolled her eyes. “Oh, come on, Applejack. She knows something’s up.” Her voice had grown louder, almost demanding.
What was up? Why were they speaking in riddles? I started to hyperventilate.
Applejack avoided Rainbow’s demanding gaze and then looked at me with a forced smile. “Twilight, we just wanted to... well, make sure you’re okay.”
Okay? Why did they always question whether I was okay? What was it about me that bothered them so much? My stomach churned. “I’m fine,” I replied quickly, my voice sharper than I intended.
“Twilight, we can see that you’re...” Rarity began cautiously, but I cut her off.
“That I’m what? That I’m not always who you expect me to be? That I don’t fit into your image of me anymore?” My words came faster, harsher. I could feel the walls around me closing in. “Who do you think you are, coming here and deciding whether I’m okay or not?”
Rainbow Dash raised an eyebrow in surprise, while Applejack pawed the ground nervously. Rarity opened her mouth, but no words came out.
“You think you can just tell me what to do? Watch me? Control me?” My voice had grown louder, my breathing quicker. “You have no idea what’s going on inside me, and you just force yourselves on me without asking!”
Rarity tried to sound calming. “Twilight, that’s not what we...”
“Yes, it is! That’s exactly what this is! All of you! You just want to make sure I stay in control, that I don’t mess up because...” I stopped, my thoughts racing. Why, though?
Silence fell over the room. I could feel the tears in my eyes, but I couldn’t cry. Not in front of them.
“I need...” I took a deep breath. “I need time for myself. Alone.”
Applejack took a step toward me. “Twi, we just wanted to...”
“I said I want to be alone!” I screamed, squeezing my eyes shut. When I opened them again, I was alone in the library. I breathed slowly, in and out, trying to calm myself down. What was wrong with me?
Later that evening, I sat at my desk. The unease inside me didn’t subside. My thoughts swirled in my head, and every breath burned in my lungs, as if even breathing was too much.
“Spike,” I called through the quiet library. The soft scratching of his claws on the wooden floor signaled his arrival. “Yes, Twilight,” he said softly as he stood before me.
“Take a letter to the Princess,” I said and began to dictate, trying to form my chaotic thoughts into clear words.
Dear Princess Celestia,
Today, I had a meeting with some of my best friends - Rarity, Applejack, and Rainbow Dash. They seem to be worried about me and my well-being. Their concerns are unfounded, but they don’t seem to trust my judgment. All of this wouldn’t be so frustrating if they didn’t interfere so much in my life. I don’t know how to handle it.
Your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle
After instructing Spike to send the letter, I leaned back and stared at the ceiling. At least Celestia would understand. She always had the answers, always knew what to do. I just had to wait for her response, and all my problems would go away.
A nervous giggle escaped my lips, and I licked my dry lips. Why hadn’t I thought of this sooner? Celestia always knew what to do. She would guide me, save me.
Suddenly, I heard the familiar sound of Spike belching up a letter and saw a scroll manifest from the green flames. My eyes widened, and my heart skipped a beat. Now, everything would be okay again.
My dear Twilight,
Thank you for your letter. I’m glad to hear that your friends care about you and your well-being. It is often the case that those closest to us can recognize when something is wrong, even if we may not see it ourselves right away. It’s a sign of their affection and concern.
I understand that it can sometimes feel uncomfortable when others try to help, but I encourage you to be open with your friends about your feelings. They have always supported you, and I’m sure they only want what’s best for you now. It’s important that you trust them, just as they trust you.
Remember, Twilight, that you are never alone. Your friends and I are always here for you if you need us. Trust in the strength of your friendship.
With warm regards, Princess Celestia
I read the letter three times, carefully reviewing every word to make sure I hadn’t missed or misunderstood anything. But nothing changed. Celestia thinks I’m the problem? That I’m overreacting? She’s not taking my concerns seriously... and she’s placing the blame on my friends. The ones who want to control me, who won’t let me breathe!
A bitter laugh rose in my throat before I could stop it. It grew louder, uncontrollable, echoing through the empty shelves of the library. How could Celestia not see it?
“She trusts them... more than me,” I whispered between my laughter. My faithful teacher, whom I admired so much, seemed blind to what was really going on. How could they not see it?
The laughter intensified, tears welling up in my eyes. It was so absurd, so ironic. Celestia... had abandoned me. She had left me the day she sent me to Ponyville. She sent me here and placed me in the care of these ponies.
I stopped and felt my breathing quicken. Looking back, it all made sense. The Elements of Harmony... that’s all she wanted. Celestia needed me to make friends with these ponies to save her sister. And now? Now she was discarding me.
The feeling of betrayal grew inside me. Everything I had done had been to please her. And now? Now I was just a tool she no longer needed. My laughter grew louder, more intense, building to a crescendo as I slowly made my way to the bathroom.
I paused and stared at my reflection in the mirror. What I saw wasn’t a pretty sight. My eyes were red from crying, looking wild, as if the last bit of control was slipping away. My mane was disheveled, sticking out in all directions, unkempt and chaotic - just like I felt.
I lowered my gaze, and the laughter slowly turned into a stifled whimper. “Now, now... why are you crying?” A voice, soft and yet with a hint of mockery, echoed in my head.
I jerked my head up, staring into the mirror. There was no one there. No pony nearby. Just my reflection staring back at me, unchanged.
“Who said that?” I called out into the empty room, my voice trembling, hoping desperately for an answer. I looked around frantically, but the room was empty. No one was there. When I looked back into the mirror, it was... blank.
“Over here,” sang a voice as sweet as honey, one that was all too familiar. My own voice. I spun around and froze, staring at an exact copy of myself.
“What...?” I muttered, taking a step back. My heart raced. “That... that can’t be. Who are you? What are you?”
The copy smiled, a smile that was almost mocking. “Oh, Twilight,” she said, her voice so familiar and yet so foreign. “Do we really need to play this game? I’m you... or at least the Twilight you see yourself as.”
I stared at her, confused, unable to say anything.
“Look at you, Twilight. You’re weak, pathetic, broken.” The false Twilight slowly walked toward me, her eyes glittering with contempt. “No wonder Celestia is just letting you go. What did you expect? Did you think Celestia would need you forever?” She laughed coldly. “That she wouldn’t let you go when you were no longer useful?”
“You’re lying... that’s not true!” My voice quivered, and I felt the anger and despair rise within me. “Celestia hasn’t abandoned me, not really.”
“Really?” The false Twilight tilted her head to the side, looking at me intently, as if she were peering into my deepest thoughts. “Then why did she send you to Ponyville? Why isn’t she here to help you now?” Her voice dropped to a whisper. “She used you, Twilight. You were just a means to an end. The friends you made... they’re all part of her plan. You mean nothing to her anymore.”
“No!” I cried out, feeling my throat tighten. “She just wanted me to study the concept of friendship,” I said, weeping quietly. “I’m still her most faithful student.” My voice sounded defiant, but deep inside, it felt hollow.
The copy shook her head slowly as she circled around me, as if examining me. “Is that so? You’re doing a great job as a faithful student.” Her words were sharp as knives. “Didn’t you just send your friends away when they tried to help you? Is that how a faithful student acts?”
“Shut up!” I screamed at the false Twilight, my voice shaking with rage. “What do you know?”
“Exactly as much as you do, Twilight,” she replied calmly, her mocking smile unshaken. “After all, I am you.” She raised a hoof and mockingly stroked my cheek, as if in a gesture of false care. “Everything I say, you already know.”
Something inside me snapped. Without thinking, my hoof shot forward, and an ear-splitting crash filled the room. Seconds passed in a blur. Then I realized what I had done.
The bathroom mirror lay in shards, its fragments sparkling on the floor like tiny, sharp stars, and blood dripped from my hooves.
Author's Note
Chapter two. Hope you like it. We're ramping up the drama a bit.
I hope you like it, be sure to let me know your thoughts in the comments.
The next morning, I stood in the bathroom. It was already late, and the library would soon open. I had long since cleaned up the shards of the broken mirror, but the empty space on the wall, where my reflection once looked back at me, drew my gaze as if by some magnetic pull. Slowly, I ran a wide hairbrush through my mane. I think I was humming a cheerful melody.
How did the mirror even break? Had it fallen from the wall overnight? The thought was strangely comforting.
Suddenly, I noticed Spike. He stood still in the doorway, his small body almost timid as his eyes watched me with uncertainty.
“Spike,” I began softly, without looking at him. The brush continued gliding through my mane. “Do you know how the mirror got broken?”
He blinked, confused, and took a cautious step closer as though testing the tension in the air. “You don’t remember?” he asked, his voice unsure, scratching the back of his head. “Twilight... are you alright? Maybe we should send another letter to the Princess?”
I pulled the brush more firmly through my mane. A letter to the Princess? About a mirror? No, that was ridiculous. I took a deep breath, forcing myself to stay calm. “Spike,” I said firmly, without taking my eyes off the empty spot on the wall, “we can’t bother the Princess with every little thing. Especially not a... broken mirror.”
Spike didn’t seem convinced. His eyes scanned me, filled with a mixture of worry and uncertainty. “Are you sure, Twilight?” he asked, his voice trembling slightly, almost pitifully.
I slowly turned to him and took a step closer. “Yes, Spike,” I said gently. “Can’t you see? I’m better than ever.” I smiled as I said it, but the smile didn’t feel like mine.
Even so, Spike flinched as if I’d yelled at him, and I felt my patience begin to fray. Why doesn’t he believe me? An awkward silence settled between us. Why is he looking at me like that? I wondered, feeling a prickling discomfort crawl up the back of my neck. Why does he look like he doesn’t trust me?
“Okay…” he mumbled finally, taking a step back. “If you say so, Twilight.”
I turned back to the empty space on the wall. The room suddenly felt colder. I noticed a particularly tight knot in my hair and tugged harder with the brush. I’m fine. Everything’s fine.
“Spike, please take care of the library today. I need to focus on my studies,” I said, trying to keep my voice neutral. It was easier to give him tasks than to deal with his pitiful looks.
“Sure, Twilight,” he replied quietly, disappearing from the room a little too quickly.
I was left alone, the sound of his fading footsteps echoing in the distance. I think I heard him slam the library door shut. Where was he going?
A soft laugh escaped my lips as I set the brush down on the sink. Crazy. Everything was crazy. Ever since I came to Ponyville, my life had turned into one absurdity after another. Ever since those ponies barged into my life, nothing has been the same.
I left the bathroom and went downstairs to one of the bookshelves. Routine. That’s what I needed. I pulled a book from the shelf, glanced briefly at the title, only to immediately forget it. It didn’t matter. I opened it to a random page and began skimming the words.
Before... before, everything was simple. It was just me, Spike, and Celestia. My life was orderly, clear, and made sense. I always knew who I was, who I wanted to be, and where I stood. I put the book back on the shelf. But now… now everything’s different. These friendships that were forced on me... they’ve messed everything up. Were they the reason I was slowly losing control of everything?
I walked back upstairs. I couldn’t focus on reading right now. My heart pounded as I wandered aimlessly through the empty library. The silence felt oppressive. I sat down at my desk and reached for a pile of unopened letters, trying to distract myself while my thoughts continued to whirl.
The Princess... she believed these ponies could help me. But why? Why would she think that these ponies could help me better than she could? Celestia had always been there for me. But ever since she sent me here, everything had changed. She seemed to be distancing herself more and more.
I tore open a letter and read the first few lines before setting it aside. Focus. But it didn’t help. Why wasn’t she here?
And now... now even Spike was acting strangely. My most loyal companion, who had always been by my side. Since when has he been giving me those looks? Those pitiful, doubtful looks, as if I’m the problem. My hooves trembled as I opened the next letter. He’s been like this ever since he started whispering with the others.
I slammed my hoof down hard on the desk. What lies have they told him? My friends… no, these ponies, they’re trying to control me. That’s why they’ve been hovering around me since yesterday. Their concern is a facade, a ruse. Every time they come, every time they ask about my well-being, they just want to monitor me. Manipulate me.
I stood up abruptly and walked to the door, opening it only to slam it shut again. They want to keep me weak. Keep me away from Celestia. They don’t want me to be strong and independent.
I paced aimlessly through the room. Slowly, my thoughts began to find a clear direction. Focus. My gaze fell on a photo of me and my friends on my desk. A gift from Pinkie, if I remembered correctly. I grabbed it with my magic and floated it over to me. In the picture, the six of us looked so happy. Their smiles seemed so genuine. It was all a lie.
I laughed softly. Of course. How could I have been so blind? How did I not see it before? These friendships, these relationships, they’re meant to hold me back. Meant to keep me trapped here.
I set the picture frame back down on the desk with a dull thud. All I needed to do was distance myself from these ponies. Then everything would return to normal. Then I could go back to Canterlot, to Celestia’s side, and my life would have meaning again. Celestia would realize it was a mistake to send me here and love me again.
My smile slowly faded, replaced by a cold, cutting sensation in my chest. I needed to be careful. They could come at any moment, meddle again, try to control me. I had to keep them away.
I turned to the window. The sun was high in the sky. How long had I been trapped upstairs in my own thoughts? A sense of unease washed over me. I should probably check on the library. With determined steps, I marched down the stairs to the main room.
It was dark. Strange. The blinds were drawn, and the light was dim. A slight shiver ran down my spine. Someone must have done this. “Spike?” I called into the dim room.
Maybe he had returned and taken care of the library while I was... well, trapped in my own thoughts upstairs.
Suddenly, I heard a strange rustling from one of the corners. My heartbeat immediately quickened. What was that? My body tensed, my thoughts raced. Have they come back?
I paused and took a deep breath. Stay calm, Twilight. It was probably just Spike trying to play a silly prank. No need to panic. “Spike, if this is a prank, it’s not very funny,” I chided.
Carefully, I took another step forward. The rustling grew louder, followed by a muffled giggle. Spike? No, that didn’t sound like him. I froze, my heart pounding in my chest as if it were trying to escape.
And then...
“Surprise!”
Several ponies shouted from all around the room, accompanied by a sudden burst of bright colors. Balloons floated through the air, and Pinkie Pie practically bounced out of nowhere in front of me. Followed by my friends. Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Fluttershy... and behind them, even more ponies from the town, all with wide, beaming smiles on their faces.
I stared at them, my thoughts moving in slow motion as the scene unfolded before my eyes. What... was this?
“Hey, Twilight,” Pinkie Pie began, her voice full of her usual boundless energy. “I heard you’ve been sitting alone in the library, all sad and gloomy, and I thought,” she paused dramatically for breath, “you could use a little cheering up! And what’s more cheerful than a party with all your best friends in the whole world?”
My eyes drifted slowly from her to the balloons, to the confetti, to the treats scattered everywhere. They had decorated everything. Without asking me. In my library.
“Well? What do you think?” Pinkie asked, her eyes sparkling with anticipation as she waited eagerly for my reaction. The others stood behind her, smiling, nodding, as if they already knew what I was going to say. What I should say.
My heart skipped a beat, then another. Everything inside me seemed to freeze as the image of this “surprise” cemented itself in my mind.
I blinked a few times and forced myself to smile. It felt wrong, like a mask that no longer fit. “You... you did all of this... without asking me?” My voice sounded rough, almost foreign, not as calm and controlled as I had intended. A strange burning sensation spread through my chest, hot and sharp.
“Of course!” Pinkie exclaimed with her usual exuberance, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. “It was supposed to be a surprise!”
They had barged in here, without asking me. They had invaded my space, my last safe refuge. The only corner of this town where I still had control.
And now... they had taken that too. Without asking me.
The smile I had forced felt painful, like it was slicing across my face. “I... I see.” My voice trembled slightly, despite my efforts to keep it steady. But the anger rising within me could no longer be ignored. Why do they keep doing this?
Why do they intrude on everything?
I felt something wet hit my hooves. Only then did I notice that I was crying. Tears. When had that happened? My body trembled, and I felt a cold shiver run down my spine.
“Why?” My voice was barely more than a whisper, brittle and weak. I slowly lifted my gaze and looked directly at Pinkie Pie. Her eyes still sparkled with joy, but I could see confusion flickering across her face.
“W-Why...?” I repeated, but my voice cracked as though the lump in my throat was swallowing the words before they could fully form. The tears continued to flow, soaking my fur.
Why are they doing this? The question echoed in my mind, growing louder, more suffocating. My eyes locked onto Pinkie’s, who stared back at me in disbelief, helpless. She didn’t understand.
She looked at me with a crooked smile, which slowly, almost painfully, disappeared. “Twilight?” she stammered, her voice now much quieter, as if she didn’t know what to say. She hadn’t expected this reaction. “What do you mean? We just wanted to…”
But I barely listened. Her words sounded distant, as if they were coming through a thick fog. Why can’t they just leave me alone? Why won’t they give me any space?
“Why…” My voice began to tremble, and my chest tightened painfully. “Why can’t you just leave me alone?” I think I screamed the last part. The echo of my own words seemed to hang in the air, and suddenly the atmosphere became heavier, more suffocating.
“Twilight…” Pinkie now looked at me uncertainly, her eyes full of confusion. “We just wanted to make you smile... if you’d only let us cheer you up...”
“Cheer me up?” My voice cut through the room, louder and sharper than I’d intended. My whole body began to shake as the anger and frustration surged inside me. This doesn’t cheer me up. It felt like I could explode. My teeth clenched, and I glared at Pinkie. She had dared. The other ponies in the room stepped back, their eyes full of pity and reproach. Of course.
“What were you thinking?” My voice dripped with contempt. “You’ve taken away my last safe place!” I paused, letting the words hang in the air. Or did you even think, you stupid pony?
Pinkie flinched slightly, and I could see my words hit her. Her ears flattened against her head, and her once bouncy mane seemed to lose its volume. A shadow passed over her face, but she clung desperately to her cheerfulness. “We thought… if we threw a party, maybe you could…” She trailed off when she saw the tears in my eyes. “It was supposed to be fun, Twilight.”
“Fun?” A harsh, desperate laugh escaped my throat, but it sounded more like a choked sob. Fun. I stepped closer to Pinkie, and with each step, the room seemed to grow smaller. “You think this is fun?”
My voice broke as the anger and disappointment overwhelmed me. “You… you really think this is for me? The only ones having fun here are you!” I could feel my breathing quicken, my chest aching. “If you really cared about my happiness... you’d leave me alone.”
The last word was barely more than a whisper, but it hung in the air like a judgment. The room fell silent, even Pinkie had nothing more to say.
I paused, the words almost slipping away from me, but I felt I had to continue. My voice nearly broke with fury. “You’ll see… you’ll all see why you should have just left me alone.”
In my mind’s eye, an image flashed. Pinkie Pie, drenched in blood, her once bright pink fur soaked in red. Her blood. She lay on the ground, crying, screaming in pain, while I stood over her. My magic gripped a knife, the blade at her throat. She begged for mercy, but there was nothing inside me but cold emptiness. I grinned madly. One simple pull, and it would all be over. Finally, silence.
My heart raced, my body tensed. The fantasy felt so real that I could almost feel the knife slicing through her flesh, hear the silence of the library broken by her muffled screams.
No. I recoiled from myself. My body flinched as if I had just awoken from a dream… No, a nightmare. What am I doing? What… am I thinking?
Panic overwhelmed me, the images blurred before my eyes, and without thinking, I focused on the only escape I could see. With one last desperate thought, I let my magic flare and teleported away.
The room vanished in a blinding flash, and the screams and chaos echoing in my head fell silent at once.
Author's Note
Well look why has the pink one brought these ponies to my home
I wish the chapter was longer. Well, tomorrow will probably be the next chapter with the title “Princess”. I hope you're as excited as I am.
Don't forget to rate the story and leave a comment here.
The room was filled with an oppressive darkness, so thick that I couldn’t see my own hooves, even if I held them right in front of my face. It was as though the darkness wanted to consume me, seizing every corner, every fiber of my being with its cold, invisible claws. The musty smell of old, rotting wood mixed with the sharp stench of various chemicals that had been stored here for far too long. This place, the basement of the library, was the only place I could still hide. Away from the ponies. Away from Pinkie Pie. Especially away from Pinkie Pie.
My breath came shallow and fast as I crouched on the cold, hard floor, my legs pulled tightly against my body. The wooden floor beneath me creaked softly with the slightest movement, and I could feel the icy chill seeping through my coat.
“What... what just happened?” My voice sounded hollow, trembling, and almost vanished into the overwhelming darkness around me. I whispered the words, as if afraid the darkness might respond.
My body trembled uncontrollably as the horrific image flashed before my eyes again. Pinkie, drenched in blood, her eyes wide with pain, as my hooves pressed a knife to her throat. I felt nausea rising, an unbearable wave of disgust and guilt washing over me. Gagging, I doubled over, and everything I had eaten in the past few days spilled onto the floor. I vomited and vomited until my body was wracked with dry heaves.
The sour smell lingered in the air, and I felt the bitter liquid drip from my lips as I collapsed, exhausted. My legs shook uncontrollably. Every breath hurt.
Why... why had those thoughts felt so real? For a brief moment, a split second, I had wanted it. I had wanted Pinkie... I couldn’t even finish the thought. I didn’t want that. I couldn’t even bear thinking about it.
Salty tears streamed down my cheeks, dripping from my muzzle onto the floor, mingling with the mess I had made. My chest tightened painfully as I gasped for air. What’s happening to me? “It’s all her fault!” I screamed into the darkness. I didn’t even know who I was blaming at that point.
“Whose fault?” answered a soft, melodic voice. My eyes widened as I looked up, staring into the familiar face of Princess Celestia. The darkness swallowed everything around her, but she remained like a sinister beacon. She took a step closer, the soft click of her hooves echoing menacingly in the silent library.
“Twilight, Twilight...” Her voice carried an icy edge as she shook her head slowly, approaching me. “What have you become?” Her eyes locked onto mine with an intensity that made me shiver, as though her mere presence made the darkness around me even denser. She leaned down, her face far too close to mine, much too close. “You sit here alone, surrounded by darkness, consumed by hatred and fear.” She wore an expression I knew all too well from my childhood: disapproval.
“This is all that’s left of you,” she said, her voice growing deeper, colder, like the cracking of ice. “An empty shell. Hiding like a scared animal in the dark?”
I could feel the warmth radiating from her, licking like fire over my coat. “It’s not my fault! My friends... those ponies, they’re watching me, controlling me!” My voice rose, desperate. “They take away my freedom, keep me away from you!”
Celestia straightened to her full height, towering over me. Her figure filled the room, and I felt small, pathetic, like a lost foal. Had she always been this much larger than me?
“Is that really what you believe?” Her eyes gleamed with mockery. “That those ponies are the reason I sent you away?” She snorted disdainfully and spread her wings. “No, Twilight. I sent you away because you’ve served your purpose. Because you are a disappointment who wasted my time.” Every word was like a stab to my heart.
“Those ponies,” she spat the word, “are only trying to care for you because they pity you. Because they see what you refuse to: that you’re a wreck, Twilight.”
She raised a hoof, pointing at me in disgust. “Look at yourself.” Her voice dripped with contempt. “Matted fur, bloodshot eyes, a mane like a wild animal, and your legs...” Her gaze lingered on the thin scars that marked my limbs before she shook her head in scorn. “Scarred. Broken. And now here you are, curled up in your own filth.”
She wrinkled her nose in disgust, stepping back as though the sight of me was too repulsive for her to bear. “And how do you repay them?” Her eyes narrowed to slits, her words laced with undisguised contempt. “Those ponies have done everything to take care of you, to help you, while you wallow in self-pity, scream at them, and now, you even have murder fantasies.”
“No...” I replied, my voice weak but defiant. “Don’t lie to me.” I shook my head, avoiding her gaze that felt like fire on my skin. “Those ponies don’t care about me. They... they want to control me. They’re the problem, not me. Don’t tell me stories.”
“Stories?” Celestia laughed coldly, her voice echoing through the darkness. “I’m only telling you what you already know.” She stomped her hoof, and the sound reverberated like a thunderclap in my ears. “Stop acting like a victim, Twilight, when you’re the one at fault in all of this.”
I felt my stomach twist as she continued. “Three of your friends came to your home yesterday because they were worried about you.” She paused, her eyes glowing with disdain. “And what did you do? You pushed them away. You accused them. You threatened them.” Her voice was sharp, like a knife cutting through me. She stepped closer.
“And still,” she continued, “today they came back. To throw you a party. To help you. And how did you thank them? With anger. With contempt. It’s a pattern, Twilight. Over and over again.” She laughed coldly, bitterly. “Wouldn’t it be convenient to forget all of this, wouldn’t it? You think they’re the problem? No, Twilight, you are.”
“Please, stop,” I begged, pressing my hooves to my ears as though I could block out her voice. But it didn’t help.
“You were never worthy of being my student,” she went on, her voice filled with barely concealed disappointment. “And deep down, you’ve always known that best. You knew you were never good enough.” Her gaze bored into me, and I felt smaller than ever before.
“All the time, all the effort I put into you,” her voice swelled with disdainful mockery. “I gave you every advantage imaginable, more than any pony could ever expect, and look where you’ve ended up.” The coldness in her eyes froze my heart. The room turned icy, and I felt the blood freeze in my veins.
“You’re still that little, weak filly from back then,” her voice rumbled in the darkness, “who can’t even pass the simplest test without outside help. A failure who was never worth my time. At least now you’re wasting other ponies’ time instead.”
I curled up, her words like heavy stones weighing me down, pressing me deeper into the floor. It was as though all the hope I had ever placed in Celestia crumbled. Her rejection was unbearable. My anger boiled over, and in a moment of complete helplessness, my horn flared. With a wild spark of magic, I unleashed a jet of fire straight at Celestia.
The fire struck a table in the basement, setting it ablaze. My heart pounded in my chest, my breath came in gasps as the flames spread, as if they were fueled by my own fears. The silence that had been filled with Celestia’s harsh words was now consumed by the crackling of the flames. And Celestia... she was gone. As if she had never existed.
I stood frozen, unable to move, as the fire spread, engulfing the table and creeping into the surroundings. I stared in shock at the growing blaze. “No…” I whispered. “This is all my fault.”
Suddenly, a chilling clarity washed over me like a cold wave. All the doubts, the fears, the pain—they vanished. What I needed to do was clearer than ever before. I had become a burden to everypony. Even Spike was now afraid of me. The truth was obvious. I had lost control of my life, and there was only one way to regain it, only one way to rid myself of this endless burden.
With my magic, I reached for an amputation knife that lay on one of the tables for lab equipment. The cold blade gleamed in the flickering light of the fire as I pressed it against my chest. My breathing slowed, steadied. “One last breath…” I whispered. I felt the blade lightly pierce my skin, a sharp pain shooting through me, but it felt almost relieving. Soon, it would all be over.
“Twilight!” Spike’s panicked voice ripped me from my trance. I heard his hurried footsteps as he rushed toward me, and then he was there, his small claws grabbing at the knife suspended in my magic.
“No!” he cried, tears streaming down his face. “Twilight, don’t!”
I stared at him with confused eyes. Didn’t he want this? Didn’t he see that this was the best thing for everyone? “Spike,” I said calmly, my voice so controlled that it felt foreign to me. “Why are you making such a fuss? Can’t you see I’m busy?”
My words were meant to be reassuring, but Spike didn’t seem to care. He cried, wiping his tears away in desperation. “Twilight, what are you talking about?” His voice trembled, every word a struggle. “Everypony is worried about you! Your friends... they’re just trying to cheer you up, they just want you to feel better.”
I stared at Spike with bewildered eyes. “Do they really?” I whispered. My voice was calm, controlled, but deep inside, something churned. “Spike, don’t you see? This is what’s best for everyone. I’m only causing problems. Those ponies are not my friends.”
He shook his head violently, tears flowing uncontrollably down his cheeks as he tried to loosen my magical grip on the knife. “Twilight, please!” His voice cracked with sobs. “What are you talking about? You... you’re not a burden! We... we love you! Your friends are so worried about you because they want you to be happy! They want to help you, they want...” He gasped for breath, wiping his eyes desperately. “They just want you to be happy!”
“Happy?” A bitter laugh escaped my lips, hollow and cold. The knife trembled in the air, my magic wavering as my thoughts burned like fire through all the memories. “But I’m not happy, Spike... and I’m tired of pretending to be.” The mask fell, and I felt the tears flow uncontrollably down my cheeks. “Celestia... Celestia doesn’t want me anymore. Maybe she never did, maybe I was just a tool to get her sister back. And my ‘friends’ here in Ponyville...” I shook my head, anger and despair mixing into an unbearable knot inside me. “They’re no different. They want to control me, to keep me here. Nopony loves me, Spike.”
“Twilight, please, stop this!” Spike didn’t let go, his small claws clinging desperately to the knife in my magic as if he could prevent it from hurting me with sheer force. “I don’t know what’s wrong with you,” he said, his voice full of panic and tears. “But you’re talking nonsense! Celestia cares about you, she sent you here because she thought you’d be happier!”
His body shook violently as he pleaded with me to release the knife. “And... I love you, Twilight. Doesn’t that mean anything?”
I smiled at Spike. I wanted my smile to be comforting, but his hesitant step back and the expression in his eyes told me I had failed. “You say Celestia loves me?” My voice was soft, but inside, my thoughts were storming.
“Yes, Twilight,” Spike replied, his voice pleading.
For a moment, I closed my eyes and went through my memories. The moments with Celestia, when I was her student. The warmth, the safety. Of course she loved me. Why else would she have taught me, nurtured me, protected me all those years? But then... what had just happened? A vision... a distorted voice... hadn’t I just spoken to another pony about Celestia? Or had I imagined it? I don’t remember anymore. Strange.
And yet, there was this unease that wouldn’t go away. This self-doubt... it hadn’t come from me. No, it had crept in. Slowly. Quietly. My eyes flew open as I remembered the party. The party. After that, my thoughts had twisted into something unrecognizable. The confusion, the fear, the doubt - it had all begun then. The laughter, the decorations, the balloons. All meant to suffocate me, to distract me from who I really was, from what I was meant to do. They were behind this. Those ponies - they had wormed their way into my life, pretending to care, but all they wanted was to keep me weak.
A bitter laugh escaped my lips. “Spike… you don’t understand. They did this to me. They made me doubt Celestia. They made me doubt myself.”
“What?” Spike’s voice trembled. “Twilight, no, that’s not true! Your friends just want to help you...”
“Help me?” I cut him off, my voice sharp. “Help me stay trapped here, you mean! They don’t want me to be strong. They don’t want me to return to Canterlot, to be Celestia’s student again.”
Spike’s eyes widened in shock, his claws still gripping the knife tightly. “That’s not true! You’re confused, Twilight...”
“Confused?” I echoed, my voice rising. “I was confused, Spike, but not anymore. I see it now. It’s been there all along, waiting for me to notice. They’ve been keeping me here, away from Celestia, away from my purpose.” My mind raced as the pieces finally began to fall into place. “Don’t you see, Spike? They don’t want me to go back. They don’t want me to be who I really am. They want me to stay broken, so they can control me.”
Spike shook his head violently, his tears flowing uncontrollably. “Twilight, please! That’s not true! They’re your friends! They care about you! You’ve just been... going through something.”
I stared at him, my heart aching at the sight of his tear-streaked face, but I couldn’t stop the thoughts that had already taken root. The more I thought about it, the more it made sense. It was clear now. This wasn’t about me, not anymore. It was about power. They were trying to control me, just like Celestia had said. My friends, my so-called friends - they were the real problem.
“They’re not my friends, Spike,” I whispered, my voice growing colder. “They’ve never been my friends.”
“No!” Spike cried, his voice cracking with desperation. “That’s not true! Twilight, listen to me...”
But I couldn’t hear him anymore. The storm inside me had reached its peak, drowning out everything else. My heart pounded in my chest as the realization settled, icy and certain. “They’re the reason I’ve lost everything. They’re the reason I’m stuck here.”
I gripped the knife with my magic, lifting it higher. “And now, they’re going to pay for it.”
Author's Note
Yes, I know that was quick, but I'm trying to finish the whole thing in October to hopefully have a reading on YouTube before Halloween. I hope that despite rushing through the whole thing I manage to write it well.
I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments.
And yes, the next chapter will be the bloody GrimDark chapter you've all been waiting for anyway.
I left the library with a wide smile on my lips. The door closed behind me, and for a moment, I let my gaze sweep over the bustling marketplace. I wasn’t quite sure how much time had passed in the basement. Minutes? Hours? It didn’t matter. Celestia’s sun still hung in the sky, as if nothing had happened. The ponies of the town were going about their everyday business, chatting, shopping, or hurrying through the streets. It was just another normal day in Ponyville. Or, at least, as normal as a day could be in this town.
It wasn’t a secret that there were occasional anomalies in this town. Not least because of the proximity to the Everfree Forest, probably one of the most mysterious and dangerous places in all of Equestria. There were always stories about strange creatures venturing into the town and magical disturbances causing chaos. Sometimes, I wondered how the ponies had ever thought of settling here, especially given how skittish ponies usually were.
The ponies here seemed to feel quite safe, at least. Blissfully ignorant. A strange thought crept into my mind. It would be amusing to see all these ponies realize that the safety they took for granted was nothing but a simple illusion. The thought made my heart beat faster.
“Good morning, Twilight!” called out a pony as they passed by, pulling me from my thoughts. I hadn’t even noticed that I was already heading towards Sugarcube Corner. Well, I had planned to meet all my friends today anyway. So why not pay Pinkie Pie a visit?
I waved cheerfully to the pony and continued on my way to Sugarcube Corner. The familiar, sweet scent of freshly baked goods hung heavy in the air—sugar, cinnamon, vanilla, and warm butter. An inviting mix of aromas. Perhaps I should pick up a cake while I was here. Outside the bakery, I noticed a cream-colored earth pony waving at me with a bright smile.
“Twilight! It’s so good to see you,” called Bon Bon happily. Her smile was warm, almost too friendly. Beside her, a mint-green unicorn turned to face me as if she hadn’t noticed me before. Lyra. Her eyes lit up as she smiled back at me, but there was something in her gaze I couldn’t quite place.
“Oh, hello, Twilight! Are you feeling better today?” Lyra asked in a gentle tone that sounded… concerned.
I returned their smiles and waved back. Was I feeling better? My smile tightened. What an odd way to greet someone. Why that question? “Hello, Bon Bon,” I said finally, meeting her gaze while ignoring my misgivings about the unusual greeting. “And Lyra,” I added with a brief nod. “Of course I’m fine. Why wouldn’t I be?”
Lyra took a step closer, her smile too sincere, too warm. “Well,” she began, her voice sweet but weighed down with something I couldn’t define, “Pinkie told us that you’ve been… a little distant lately. And then, at the party yesterday…” She paused, searching for the right words. “You seemed… very upset. After you teleported away, everypony was quite worried about you.”
Worried… Always with the worries. Why does everyone always worry about me? Are they talking behind my back? Watching me? Planning something? I felt my heartbeat quicken, but I forced a gentle smile. “That’s… really kind of you,” I said, keeping my voice as smooth and steady as possible. “But honestly, there’s no need for concern. I’m in perfect condition.”
Bon Bon exchanged a quick glance with Lyra, her lips pursing slightly. “If you say so, Twilight,” she murmured finally, her voice soft but with an undertone that made it clear she didn’t truly believe me. She dropped the topic abruptly and raised her head. “So, would you like to treat yourself to something sweet today?” she asked, her tone suddenly far too casual.
My eyes narrowed slightly, but I kept my best smile plastered on. “Actually…” I began in a more-than-friendly tone, “I wanted to have a chat with Pinkie Pie.” I followed it with a sugary grin.
“Oh,” Lyra responded, casting a quick, almost nervous glance at Bon Bon. “Pinkie isn’t here right now. She… she’s out preparing something for her next party.” Lyra’s voice quivered slightly, as if she sensed that something about the situation… wasn’t quite right.
“Is that so?” I asked softly, but my smile remained, even though it felt more like a mask with every passing second. “What a shame… I guess I’ll have to postpone our talk, but…” I let my gaze sweep over the two of them. “Maybe you can help me, can’t you?”
The unease in their eyes was becoming increasingly obvious. Bon Bon and Lyra exchanged a fleeting look before Lyra’s hooves shuffled nervously on the ground. The sweet scent of sugar and freshly baked goods still hung in the air, but the warm, friendly atmosphere no longer matched the thick tension building between us. The very air felt heavier, denser.
“Do you know where she went?” I asked, my voice remaining silky smooth.
Lyra took a small step back, her movements hesitant, almost unconscious. “Not exactly, no. What… what do you need to talk to her about? Maybe we could pass on a message?” Her voice sounded oddly unsure, as if she didn’t trust herself to ask the question.
I stepped forward to close the distance she had created. A gentle smile still graced my lips, but there must have been something different in my eyes, because I saw Bon Bon swallow nervously. “It’s… something private,” I explained with a polite nod. “But feel free to let her know that I’m looking for her if you see her.”
“Of course… we will,” Bon Bon replied quickly, her voice sounding a little too shrill, as if she were trying to cover up a specific uncertainty. She wasn’t convinced, that much was clear. “But it isn’t about yesterday’s party, is it?” Lyra added nonchalantly, though her words sounded anything but relaxed.
A soft giggle escaped me. “Oh, no,” I said, keeping my gaze fixed firmly on Lyra. “Why would you think that? It’s actually about an idea Spike suggested.”
That seemed to relax them a little, but I could still see their ears remaining perked, their bodies tensed. “Why didn’t Spike come with you?” Bon Bon asked, her eyes locking onto mine as if she were searching for something.
I held her gaze and continued to smile softly. “He’s taking a little nap at the library,” I explained calmly, with not the slightest hint of hesitation. “The poor dragon was up all night and needs to catch up on some sleep.”
Technically, it wasn’t a lie. Spike had been up all night, and it was only right that he got some rest now. That I had hit him with a sleeping spell to make sure he wouldn’t interfere… well, Bon Bon and Lyra didn’t need to know that. Some things were better left in the dark.
I watched the two closely, trying to read every reaction in their faces. Bon Bon looked suspicious, her brow furrowing slightly, but she remained silent. Lyra, on the other hoof, twitched her ears nervously before offering a hesitant smile.
“That sounds… reasonable,” Lyra finally said, but her voice wasn’t as firm as she might have liked. They didn’t trust me.
“Reasonable?” I repeated, closing the distance between us once again with a single small step. “That’s good. Reason is important, isn’t it?”
Bon Bon blinked, as if unsure whether she should continue the conversation. “Yes… of course,” she replied hesitantly. Her eyes darted to Lyra, seeking support. “Reason is… always good.”
“Exactly,” I agreed loudly, inclining my head slightly, my smile frozen on my face. “And reason tells us that friends should always be honest with each other, right?”
Lyra nodded nervously. “Of course, Twilight. But… um… what exactly do you mean?”
I took another step closer, now standing directly in front of them. “I just wonder…” my voice was quiet, almost a whisper, “... why you both seem so nervous,” I said with a cheerful outburst, before stepping back.
Lyra flinched at my sudden change in tone, while Bon Bon struggled to come up with an excuse. “Nervous? We… we’re not nervous, Twilight. It’s just… um, a bit chilly today, don’t you think?” She let out a forced laugh, but it quickly died in the silence.
“Chilly?” I repeated, glancing briefly at the clear, sunny sky. “Hm… I find it quite pleasant, actually.” My eyes returned to them, and I noticed them shifting uncomfortably. “So, if it’s not the weather making you nervous… then I wonder: What could it be?”
Lyra threw an uncertain look at Bon Bon before finally sighing. “Twilight… we’re just worried about you. Yesterday, you weren’t… in the best of moods, and today you’re walking around with that… big grin on your face like everything’s perfect.” She tried to put on an encouraging smile, but it was strained. “And… you have… some blood on your coat.” Her voice grew quieter, almost apologetic. “Are you really sure you’re okay?”
Bon Bon nodded in agreement, visibly trying to ease the tension. So, my friends? Then why aren’t you being more honest about your intentions?
I blinked and forced myself to keep the smile on my face. “Blood?” I repeated, as if I didn’t understand the word. My eyes traveled over my coat, where small, almost imperceptible drops of blood were indeed clinging. I thought I had washed it all off. “Oh, that must be from a little cut.” I laughed softly. “I stumbled in the kitchen last night and hurt myself a bit. Nothing serious.”
Lyra and Bon Bon exchanged looks, their nervousness visibly growing. “Twilight… if you ever need to talk, we’re here for you,” Bon Bon said gently. “It’s okay not to feel okay sometimes.”
I stared at them, trying to process their words. Talk? About what? They’re trying to find something out… “Oh, really, I’m fine,” I said quickly, before they could dig any deeper. “You’re just worrying too much.”
Lyra took a step towards me, her expression becoming even more serious. “Twilight, it’s just… after what happened yesterday… and now the blood… We’re just really worried.”
I felt my heart beat faster, and a slight pressure began to build in my chest. They don’t believe me. They’re trying to imply that I… “Why… are you so suspicious?” My voice came out sharper than I intended. “Why can’t you just trust me?”
Bon Bon raised her hooves in a placating gesture. “It’s not that we don’t trust you. We just want to be sure.” Her smile seemed so… fake. “You know, we spoke with Rarity, and she hinted that you’re going through a difficult time.”
Rarity. That traitorous unicorn. I should have known that it wasn’t just my five friends involved in this. “You don’t trust me,” I repeated, putting on a sad expression. “You… think I did something wrong.” I felt the tension inside me grow. Why are they acting like this? What do they know? What do they really want?
Lyra opened her mouth to answer, but before she could speak, I cut her off sharply. “I don’t need pity!” I realized I had shouted. Immediately, I forced a sweet, forced smile back onto my face. “It’s… kind of you to care… really,” I said with exaggerated kindness, though my voice trembled. “But I can handle my own problems.”
At that moment, I could feel their gazes on me. They were like tiny, cold needles piercing my skin, making every nerve twitch. Bon Bon’s eyes, full of concern and suspicious tension, were like the watchful eyes of a guardian waiting for the next misstep. Lyra’s gaze, on the other hoof… It gleamed with that unbearable, all-encompassing pity. A feeling like ice crawled over my spine, raising the hairs on my back, but I kept the smile on my lips—just barely.
They really believed something was wrong with me. That they could help me. That they were the heroes of this story. Bon Bon said something, but I barely heard the words. They faded into the background like distant, meaningless murmurs in my mind. “You think you can help me? Fix me…” A soft giggle escaped me before I could stop it, and it felt simultaneously like a relieved exhale and a looming storm.
Bon Bon and Lyra exchanged nervous, quick glances. The tension in the air was almost tangible, dense enough to feel in the lungs. “Twilight… what… what do you mean by that?” Lyra asked softly, but her voice sounded brittle, like a branch on the verge of snapping under too much pressure.
I shook my head gently, as if I had just heard something amusingly absurd. “You’re so convinced that you can help me.” My voice was soft, but every sentence, every syllable cut through the air like a blade, each word carrying a hidden venom. “But what if I don’t want that? What if… you’re the ones who are wrong?”
“Twilight, we understand…” Lyra’s words caught in her throat as the knife floated just inches from her neck. For a heartbeat, I saw the fear in her eyes—not just simple fear, but a sudden, instinctive terror that freezes the blood in one’s veins and stops the breath in one’s lungs. The fear of death.
The color drained from her face, her pupils widened into black oceans, reflecting the gleaming knife. They say the eyes are the window to the soul, and in Lyra’s gaze, I could see that final spark of trust extinguished and replaced with a terrible realization. She knew now that I was truly willing to hurt her. She wasn’t just shocked. She felt betrayed.
Before I could complete my attack, something struck me hard across the muzzle. Pain shot through my head like lightning, and everything blurred before my eyes. The knife in my magic wavered to the side, leaving a narrow red line on Lyra’s cheek. Bon Bon. The thought forced its way through the haze.
I looked up and saw her standing protectively in front of Lyra, her hooves firmly planted on the ground. Her gaze was resolute, but the slight trembling of her legs betrayed her uncertainty. “Twilight, stop!” Her voice was strong, but fear flickered in her eyes. She knew how serious the situation was.
Lyra, still hiding behind Bon Bon, was breathing heavily. A narrow cut ran down her cheek, and blood left a scarlet trail across her pale face. Her eyes—those wide, tear-filled eyes—seemed to ask me a thousand questions, but I couldn’t and wouldn’t answer any of them.
“Stop? But I’ve only just begun.” A giggle escaped my throat, and I brought the knife back into an attack position at my side. Without hesitation, I moved towards Bon Bon, who remained resolute. I aimed for a direct strike, but at the last moment, she deftly sidestepped, and before I realized it, her hoof connected with my muzzle in a powerful blow. Pain flashed through my head, and I stumbled back. But before I could recover, I felt another strike, this time to my ribs, knocking the wind from my lungs.
So that’s how it is. A normal pony could never react so skillfully. No pony without training could dodge a knife attack like that or land precise strikes like these. My lips twisted into a grim smile, and a sharp laugh escaped my throat. “I knew it!” I shouted, my voice echoing between the buildings.
“You were trained!” I spat, regaining my stance. “You’re one of them! You want to control me, watch me, hold me back! All the ponies in this town are the reason I was taken away from Celestia.”
Bon Bon stood ready, her eyes blazing with determination. “Twilight, you don’t know what you’re doing!” she called, her voice trembling slightly, but she held her ground.
But I barely heard her words. My breathing was heavy, my heart pounded in my chest. The certainty that I was right, that all my doubts were justified, seemed to give me new strength. I attacked again, the knife in my magic held steady and unwavering. Bon Bon dodged, struck again, but this time I stepped back just in time. A dangerous dance began between us, and in that moment, nothing else seemed to exist but the deadly rhythm of our movements.
“You lied to me all this time!” I shouted, lunging forward with another strike that forced Bon Bon to roll sideways. Lyra, still standing behind her, seemed frozen in fear. “You’re part of their plan! You used me, betrayed me!”
My voice was filled with madness and rage, and I could see the mixture of pain and realization in Bon Bon’s eyes as she recognized the depth of my conviction. She knew she’d been exposed. But that no longer made any difference to me. All I felt was a burning clarity amidst the chaos.
“I’m sorry, Twilight,” Bon Bon said, her voice almost gentle, almost regretful, as her hoof shot towards my horn. The blow struck precisely, and I immediately felt the knife fall from my magical aura. A dull pain spread from my horn down to the base of my skull, a throbbing echo that vibrated in every nerve. The horn was the most sensitive part of a unicorn. All nerve pathways converged there. A weak point that every unicorn learned to protect.
A well-placed hit could knock a unicorn unconscious, sometimes even paralyze, and in rare cases, a particularly hard blow could be fatal. But I wasn’t just any unicorn. I was Twilight Sparkle. I was the pony who had channeled the collected power of creation through her horn at the age of six. Bon Bon’s hoof struck me, but to me, it was nothing more than a small shove, an annoying pinch.
“You really think that’s enough to stop me?” I hissed, and a dark smile curled my lips. My horn flared up again as I gathered magic within me. Her strike had reminded me of my magic. But now, I was painfully aware of my power. It felt like an inferno waiting to be unleashed. The pain that had burrowed into my head dissipated like smoke in the wind, pushed aside by the wave of adrenaline and power rising within me.
I saw Bon Bon preparing for another attack, her muscles tensed, her eyes resolute. But she had no idea who she was dealing with. She knew nothing of the true depths of my power, of the darkness that had built up inside me.
“You should have left me alone,” I whispered as my horn glowed once more and the air around us crackled with static energy. My horn blazed with a bright violet light, casting wild shadows on the walls.
And then I unleashed the flames. Purple tongues of fire shot from my horn, roaring like an unleashed beast and ruthlessly consuming everything in their path. Bon Bon had no time to react; the flames reached her, and her screams mixed with the splintering wood of Sugarcube Corner. Lyra, who had stood just a few steps away, was also caught in the blaze. Her silhouette disappeared into the roaring inferno.
The flames spread, relentless, as if driven by their own malevolent will. The sweet scent of pastries and sugar was now completely replaced by the acrid stench of burning flesh and smoldering wood. It was a terrible, all-encompassing smell that clung to my nostrils.
I looked around, and everywhere I saw ponies desperately trying to escape the flames. Some didn’t make it. A mare stumbled through the fire, her mane already consumed by the flames, her skin peeling away to reveal raw, red flesh underneath. She screamed, a shrill, guttural sound that cut through the air as she tried to free herself from the flames. Her cries mingled with the crackling of the fire, and I could hear the pain in her voice. But something within me found this cacophony strangely soothing. As if the world around me had finally stopped opposing me. Finally, I was in control.
A young stallion lay on the ground, trying to pull himself out of the burning ruins of the bakery with a half-functioning foreleg. The flames licked at his body, slowly burning through the fur, melting the skin, and causing blisters to form on his exposed muscles. I could smell the sweet scent of burnt hair and flesh. His screams were almost musical. I watched him, fascinated, almost hypnotized.
I saw them all. Their bodies convulsed like marionettes, their strings pulled in a cruel play as the fire took its toll. I could see the heat coagulate the blood at their wounds, the skin hanging like charred parchment strips in places, their eyes wide open in agony. I heard the screams, the pleading, and I knew they weren’t directed at me but at their own helplessness, their own guilt, from which I was now freeing them.
I turned my eyes away from the lovely scene and turned around. The other ponies in town were staring at me. Their faces were marked by a single emotion: pure, unfiltered fear. But it wasn’t the kind of fear that a helpless victim feels in the face of overwhelming danger—no, this was the fear of the guilty, who knew their masks had fallen.
Their eyes were wide open, their mouths partially agape, as if they were suppressing a scream or searching for words they couldn’t find. Some didn’t even dare to breathe. I could almost hear their thoughts. They all knew their game was over. That I was no longer their little tool.
A pony, a young stallion, took a hesitant step backward, and in that brief moment, his entire body language betrayed the guilt they all carried. They had thought they could control me, manipulate me, keep me away from Celestia. They had thought I was naïve, had fed me their false smiles and hollow words, pretending to be my friends. But now they knew that I had seen through their facade, and they feared the consequences.
“You thought I wouldn’t notice,” I whispered softly, my voice barely more than a breath that drifted across the square. “You thought you could lie to me. But now you see the truth. You’re afraid because you know I’m no longer blind.”
I teleported beside a pony, a mare who looked vaguely familiar. Cheerilee, if I remembered her name correctly. She was the town’s elementary school teacher, always surrounded by laughing foals and wearing a friendly smile. Now, though, her face was a mask of pure terror, her eyes wide with the realization of the inevitable.
“T-Twilight… please…” she whispered. I stared into her eyes. I grinned with joy, and my eyes shone with happiness. I picked up a sharp piece of wood from the burning remains of Sugarcube Corner and held it like a spear. Without hesitation, I drove the wood deep into her chest. I felt the resistance give way, heard the dull, wet sound as the wood pierced her flesh and ribs. Cheerilee gasped for breath, a final wheeze before her eyes went blank. One last, faint heartbeat, and then she fell heavily to the ground.
Only then, as her body hit the ground with a dull thud, did panic break out. Ponies who had been frozen in shock began to scream, their cries shattering the sudden silence like shards of glass. The marketplace turned into a chaotic scene of ponies running frantically, desperately trying to find an escape from this nightmare.
I hummed a strangely familiar melody as I made my way through Ponyville. I was the star of the stage, and Ponyville became the set of my performance. The final act had begun. The flames spread. Purple flames reflected in the windows, and dark smoke covered the sky. Chaos reigned all around me, but inside, I felt a strange calm settle. It was almost… liberating.
I found a pony, a young mare with purple fur, hiding under a table. Her eyes begged me to ignore her. She was a terrible actress. A quick flash of my magic, and a surprised scream turned into wet gurgles and, finally, peaceful silence. I heard her hooves scratching at the ground, her faint choking, until she lay still.
In the distance, I noticed a group trying to barricade themselves in one of the empty buildings. Two ponies were desperately pushing against the door, but my magic was stronger. The door flew open, and I stepped in, the heads of the two ponies smashed by the force. Inside, two young fillies with tear-streaked faces stared at me. They had no time to beg for mercy. Just a whisper, a faint “Please…” that disappeared into the roaring flames I unleashed with a brief thought.
I teleported further, appearing in a narrow, dark alley. At the end of the street, I spotted two familiar ponies: Big Mac and Apple Bloom. The massive stallion was urging his little sister away from the market stalls, away from the blazing flames and the panic. His gaze darted nervously around, and I could see him instinctively heading towards the farm—his safe haven. The sight of their desperation made me chuckle. A raspy, mad chuckle that echoed unnaturally loud in the gloomy alley.
I teleported in front of them, my movements fluid like shadows. Apple Bloom froze, her large eyes widening, and I saw her small body tremble. She opened her mouth, as if to ask a question—perhaps seeking explanations, searching for a logic to excuse this chaos. But as she focused on the sight of my blood-stained coat, her innocence transformed into sheer terror. She understood. She saw it.
“You… you’re—” she began, her voice breaking.
She must have realized she’d been exposed. That I knew who they really were. With a choked gasp, she turned and ran.
Big Mac, however, remained. He stood in my way, his eyes fixed on me, an expression of silent determination. He was strong. Certainly stronger than Bon Bon. Probably one of the strongest ponies in town. But his muscles and strength were meaningless against the power coursing through my veins. A feeling of superiority washed over me.
His serious gaze, that silent determination in his eyes. It was laughable. A harsh, manic laugh burst from me, loud and sharp, as I stared at Big Mac. “Poor, stupid Big Mac,” I sneered between fits of laughter. “Do you really think you can stop me?”
With a swift pull of my magic, I seized him and hurled him with the force of an unleashed storm against a nearby tree. The impact was so violent that the old trunk splintered, and the tree groaned as it tore from the earth before crashing into a nearby house. The walls shuddered under the impact, and a deep rumble echoed across the marketplace. Big Mac crumpled to the ground, his legs buckling under his weight, and I could see the trembling in his limbs as he tried to stand again.
“No!” Apple Bloom’s horrified scream cut through the air, desperate and full of pain. Her small hooves clattered frantically on the cobblestones as she tried to escape the scene. Her scream mingled with the steady hiss of the flames and the distant echoes of panic and chaos, which resounded like a dark melody through the burning town.
“Run, then,” I whispered softly, as I bent over the stallion’s still form, my grin widening as I watched his feeble attempts to rise. His breathing was labored, his body shaking with pain, but in his eyes, that spark of determination still flickered. Pathetic.
Slowly, almost leisurely, I reached for the knife hovering at my side. “Run while you still can,” I murmured, my voice gentle, almost loving. Then I drove the sharp blade with calm precision and unyielding force. The resistance of his flesh beneath the blade felt like cutting through tough leather. A choked wheeze escaped Big Mac before his head was cleanly severed from his shoulders and fell to the ground.
I turned around and stared at the stunned figure of Apple Bloom. She hadn’t moved an inch, as I took a step towards her. I was about to launch my attack when I was interrupted by a confused shout.
“Twilight?”
Author's Note
And it begins. Let's see how it develops in the next chapter.
As always, I look forward to every rating and every comment.
Author's Note
As some of you already know, this was originally supposed to be a longer chapter that would slowly bring the story to a close. I have decided to split this chapter into three parts. (Spike, Friends and Celestia) One part will be published today, one tomorrow and one the day after tomorrow. Hope you enjoy what I have in store for you.
Spike
“Twilight!”
I froze. The sound of my name pierced me like a dagger, halting my steps in their tracks. Slowly, I turned, the knife still suspended in my magic, scanning the street for the source of the cry. And there he was. Spike. Standing in the middle of the road, trembling, eyes wide as if he were staring at a monster—a monster I couldn’t see.
“Twilight…what…what are you doing?” His voice shook, each word heavy with terrible apprehension, as if he didn’t want to know the answer. His gaze met mine, filled with confusion, searching for…for something I couldn’t name. But then he flinched, as though startled.
A strange feeling gripped me, an unexpected need to protect him. I ran toward him, my steps heavy, as though I were wading through thick fog wrapping around my legs, trying to hold me back. Just a few steps away from him, I stopped and looked down.
“Spike…” My voice sounded so strange, so foreign. Was that really me speaking? “What are you doing here?” I swallowed, trying to calm the sound of my voice. “Why aren’t you still resting in the library?”
He trembled even more and took a tiny step back. A bitter feeling rose within me, and I couldn’t quite identify it. Anger? Sadness? Concern? “I…I’m worried about you,” I muttered at last, my voice tighter than I’d intended.
Spike stood still, staring at me with a mixture of fear and confusion. “I…I woke up to screams. Somewhere outside, on the street.” His voice was unsure, as though he couldn’t quite believe what he was saying. “The library…was in flames, with thick smoke rising above the roof. I…I ran out to get help, but…all around, ponies were panicking.”
He paused, his eyes flickering to something I couldn’t see. “I ran through the streets looking for you,” he continued. “There were burning houses everywhere. I saw ponies, Twilight. Dead ponies…burned ponies…others just lying there.”
He stopped, as though he needed a moment to process what he’d seen. His gaze fell on the knife, still hovering beside me, stained with blood.
“Then…” He swallowed, taking a shaky breath. “Then I heard Apple Bloom’s scream. I ran toward it, and…and that’s when I found you here, with that…that eerie glow around your horn and this knife beside you.”
His voice faded, and he simply stood there, unable to tear his gaze away from me. A heavy silence settled between us, broken only by the faint crackle of flames flickering around us. Shadows danced over Spike’s terrified face as his words echoed in my head.
And then, suddenly, a giggle escaped me. It started as a small, controlled giggle, but it soon grew louder and deeper until it became a wild, guttural laugh. A sharp pain twisted through my chest, and I clutched a hoof to my stomach as I doubled over with laughter.
After a while, I calmed down, the laughter fading, and I straightened up. A wide grin spread across my face as I looked at Spike, who appeared even stiffer and paler than before.
“Phew, Spike,” I said, wiping the last tears of laughter from my eyes. “You really gave me a scare! And here I was, foolish enough to think something terrible had happened, that you were in danger.”
Spike blinked a few times, seemingly unsure what to say. Perhaps he hadn’t expected me to take his little joke so well. Silence fell over us once again, but this time it was a pleasant stillness.
Eventually, Spike broke it. His voice didn’t match the relaxed mood I was feeling. “Twilight…this isn’t you.” His words were shaky, but there was a touch of determination in his gaze. “The Twilight I know…couldn’t hurt a fly.”
I raised my eyebrows, a bitter smile playing on my face. “Oh, really?” My voice was sharp and mocking, almost scornful. “So now you know better than I do who I am, huh?”
He swallowed, tears forming in his eyes, but he took a step toward me as though he wanted to remind me of the Twilight he thought he knew so well. “The Twilight I know is a good pony,” he began, his voice soft but full of conviction. “Yes, sometimes she’s a bit grumpy or cynical, but she has a big heart and only wants what’s best for everypony. The Twilight I know loves reading, learning, and experimenting. She stays up late just to finish a new book or complete an experiment, and she loves watching the stars on clear nights.”
He paused, his voice trembling slightly, but he pressed on. “She’s always a little nervous and tense and takes everything way too seriously. She loves pancakes and sandwiches, and sometimes, when she thinks I don’t notice, she reads romance novels in secret. She loves giving lectures and sharing her knowledge—even when nopony asks her to.” A faint smile crossed his face, quickly overshadowed by worry.
“The Twilight I know is always there when you need her. She protects me…comforts me when I’m scared.” His voice almost broke, but he held on. “The Twilight I know isn’t a monster.”
I recoiled. My legs felt heavy, and my magic wavered. His words sent fleeting, sharp pains shooting through my head. I clutched my temples, pressing my cold hooves against my head, feeling salty tears burn in my eyes. A part of me, hidden deep within, wanted to believe, for just a moment, that what he was saying was true. But the thought dissolved as soon as it took shape, like a mirage that vanishes when you get too close.
I shook my head, feeling the familiar bitterness spread in my chest, pushing back the throbbing pain in my head. “The Twilight you describe…” My voice trembled, but I forced it back to cold sharpness. “The Twilight you describe was naïve, Spike! She trusted all those ponies, believed they meant well. She was blind to their intentions. But I’m not blind anymore.” I could feel my magic growing stronger again.
Spike looked at me, the pain in his eyes deepening. “Twilight, these ponies are your friends…they only wanted to help you.”
A cold, scornful laugh escaped me, sharp and bitter like a poison clawing at my throat. “Friends?” The word felt like a cruel joke, a vile label forced upon me. “Spike, they’ve ruined my life. They tore me away from everything that ever mattered to me. Made me believe I mattered to them. That this was my destiny. They took everything from me and called it friendship?”
My eyes burned as I looked into Spike’s horrified face, yet it was as if I could see right through him. “Because of them, I’m a failure…a disappointment. Not good enough for anyone, least of all Celestia. They pretended to be my friends but only saw a tool. Nothing but a puppet to use and discard once my purpose was served…it’s all because of them.”
Spike’s lips quivered, and I heard his ragged breathing, but the words poured from me like an unstoppable flood. “Do you really think they care about me? Do you think this is real?” My voice sounded hoarse, trembling with rage. “They took only what suited them. They destroyed everything, Spike, and called it friendship.”
The words made my own inner emptiness swell, that bitter realization churning within me. “What I’m doing is only fair. They should see what it feels like to have their dreams torn away, to feel as if nothing makes sense anymore…when the closest ones turn out to be liars who only used them, played them. I want their own doubts and self-hatred to eat away at them until there’s nothing left.”
Spike’s eyes filled with tears. Without hesitation, he stretched out his small arms and wrapped them tightly around me, his hug warm and trembling. But I barely felt it. The anger had burned everything else away.
“I’ll show them what betrayal feels like.” My voice was now almost toneless, barely more than a whispered echo. “And when they finally understand what they did to me…when they look in the mirror and no longer recognize themselves…when only hatred and fear remain—then it’ll be too late. Only a monster will be left.”
It took a while for me to regain control of my heartbeat. My breathing was still ragged when Spike finally let go of his hug and looked at me, straight into my eyes. “Twilight…I didn’t know you were in so much pain.” His voice was soft and quivering. “No one should do this to you.” His gaze was heavy on me, as if he could see all the suffering inside me that even I barely understood. “But this…this isn’t the right way.”
“The right way?” The words came sharp and bitter from my lips, and my gaze hardened. “What else am I supposed to do, Spike?” A strange pain accompanied my words, a piercing feeling deep inside. “Can’t you see that I’m the victim here? You’re the only one I trust, and even you doubt me?”
The words stung, and I hated myself for the pain hidden within them—for the small part of me that could still feel anything other than anger.
Spike shook his head firmly, tears streaming down his cheeks. But he stayed put, firm and unwavering, and the fear in his eyes mixed with something that almost made me want to falter. “I understand, Twilight…I just want to help you.”
A cold, dark smile spread across my face, and I lowered my voice to a soft, almost pleading whisper. “Then stay with me, Spike. Don’t make me go through this alone.” I looked to the side, letting my head drop, and whispered so quietly that only the darkness could hear. “If you’re truly on my side…don’t abandon me.”
After a long moment of silence, I felt Spike slowly climb onto my back, his small claws hesitantly but firmly clutching my mane. His breathing was shallow and uncertain, and I could feel the desperation in every one of his movements. But it was enough. Step by step, I continued my path through the smoldering ruins of the town, with Spike by my side.
As I trotted through the smoky ruins of the town, I hummed that same cheerful melody that always played in my head. A small smile formed on my muzzle, and an unexpected warmth filled me. At least I had Spike with me. I wasn’t alone.
My gaze shifted to the side as I passed a small puddle of water. The water was dirty, slightly murky, and full of ash, yet it reflected the image clearly enough. Curious, I paused, leaned forward, and stared into the puddle, studying my own reflection.
A face stared back at me from the depths, and for a moment, I held my breath. My face twisted in horror as I recognized the figure staring back at me. My mane stood out in wild, tangled strands, chaotic and unruly, while my eyes, framed by dark circles, glinted like tiny needles. My coat was matted and stained, smeared with ash and dried blood.
My reflection grinned at me, and I couldn’t help but grin back. It grew wider, as if inviting itself to spread fully across my face, and finally transformed into a smile. Contentedly, I exhaled, feeling a dark, strange pleasure fill my chest. Yes…that was me.
Slowly, I straightened up and let my gaze sweep over the debris around me. The remains of Ponyville lay before me like a stage set. Then, out of the corner of my eye, I saw movement.
A pale blue pegasus quietly landed, her wings drooping and trembling as she touched down in a narrow alley between the half-destroyed houses. The colors of her mane seemed muted in the ashy light, and her movements were hurried and unsure, as though she wanted to remain unnoticed—or simply flee.
A fleeting smile played on my lips. Rainbow Dash.
I felt my heart beat faster again, this time not from fear or confusion but from a strange mix of anticipation and satisfaction. Slowly, I placed one hoof in front of the other, my grin unwavering as I headed toward the alley.
Slowly, I placed one hoof in front of the other, my gaze fixed on the alley before me. Only a few steps separated me from them – the ponies who had shattered my life. The heat in my chest swelled as I savored the taste of blood trickling down my forehead, warm, bitter… and intoxicatingly sweet.
I could already envision the encounter with my friends in my mind. I stood over Rainbow Dash, my knife at her throat, feeling her trembling breaths brush against the sharp blade. Panic filled her eyes, wide open, desperation almost tangible. Behind me lay Fluttershy, lifeless. Her soft, yellow fur was drenched in blood, pooling beneath her. Her chest was torn open, ribs broken and splayed as though wrenched apart with sheer force. Her eyes were dull, but her expression was still so vivid, frozen in a scream that would never sound again.
A broad, cold grin stretched across my face, and an uncontrollable giggle escaped, soon growing into a shrill, manic laugh that pierced the silence. I looked down at Rainbow as she pleaded for mercy, her voice trembling. But her words were nothing more than hollow, meaningless noise to my ears.
Slowly, I pressed the knife deeper, the blade sliding gently through her skin, layer by layer, until the blood flowed thick and warm, trickling over my hooves. Her body twitched, and tortured screams tore from her throat, filling the air as the life in her eyes slowly faded. The sound of the knife cutting through flesh, the crunch of bone under the pressure of my hooves… it was like a dark melody, a symphony of release.
The images blurred, but the echo of her screams resonated in my thoughts, the sweet scent of blood filled my nostrils, and a pulsing satisfaction spread through my chest.
I entered the alley slowly, the smile on my lips widening—so wide it hurt. But I didn’t care. It was a sweet pain. The ponies who had destroyed my life stood like trapped prey, pressed against the walls of the narrow alley, as if they’d stumbled into a trap. Seeing them like this was delicious—weak, afraid, right where I wanted them.
The sun was sinking behind me, casting its last light like a fiery glow over the scene. My shadow stretched long and ominous across the alley, merging with the shadows of the walls until everything was cloaked in cold darkness. I saw them all look up at me as though the sunset had transformed me into an eerie silhouette.
The moment they noticed me, all eyes were on me, and I reveled in the glimpse of terror that flickered in their eyes. Rainbow Dash spun around, placing herself protectively in front of the others, her wings spread slightly, her gaze resolute, though I could see the twitch in her muscles, the uncertainty she was trying to hide. She took a crouched stance as if ready to lunge at me any second to protect them all.
Applejack stood upright next to her, her face frozen in horror. The usual steadfastness in her expression was gone, replaced by raw terror and disbelief, as if she couldn’t comprehend that the creature before her was really her friend.
Pinkie Pie cowered fearfully behind Rainbow, her head pressed to the ground, her mane limp and disheveled, tears streaming down her face. She was shaking, like a child hoping to become invisible if it just ducked low enough.
Fluttershy stood close to Pinkie, her eyes wide with fear. She flinched at my every movement, her shoulders trembling, her body curled tightly as if trying to shield herself from the horror playing out before her.
Rarity, the elegant, immaculate Rarity, took a hesitant step back, her makeup smeared as though her own tears had smudged it over hours. She looked at me as if I were a nightmare that had come to life.
I let my gaze slide over them, savoring every moment. “Are you scared?” I asked, my voice low, but the words echoed menacingly in the confines of the alley.
“Don’t come any closer,” Rainbow Dash growled, but her voice sounded exhausted, almost broken. “You’re going to pay for what you’ve done today.” She kept her gaze fixed on me, though I could see the tremor in her wings. “We thought you were our friend, but you… you’re just a monster.” Her teeth ground in suppressed frustration. “Was all of this just an act?”
A laugh escaped me, cold and bitter. “An act?” I asked aloud. “I haven’t acted at all. I was honest with you. When I told you to leave me alone. When I told you all to just leave me alone. But none of you ever listened.”
There was a dark joke in my voice, like a cold whisper of contempt. “The only ones playing a role were you. Playing the perfect friends, always there, always helpful, but in reality… in reality, you’ve destroyed my life.” I took a slow step toward them, watching as Pinkie and Fluttershy retreated further into the shadows, while Rainbow held her gaze steady, though I could see the flicker of doubt in her eyes.
“Did you enjoy it?” I sneered, my smile twisting into a cold, warped grin. “Did you laugh as you watched my life fall to pieces? Did you savor watching me suffer, taking everything I cared about and banishing me here? Sending me away.”
My voice was barely a whisper, but it trembled with hatred. “Well, guess who’s laughing now.” Another bitter, broken laugh escaped me, echoing down the narrow alley like the crackle of an approaching storm. “I’m not your toy anymore.”
I continued my slow, menacing advance toward them, the grin fixed on my lips. Yet Rainbow Dash didn’t back down an inch.
“What the Tartarus are you talking about, Twilight?” she snarled. “We didn’t send you anywhere or banish you. Celestia sent you here.”
My steps faltered, and for a brief moment, there was only silence in my head. What… what had she just said? Celestia sent me…? No. No, that couldn’t be true. Celestia told me to study friendship here, but… It… it had to be their fault. The fault of my so-called “friends.” They had separated me from Celestia, manipulated me, destroyed everything. Celestia… she would never abandon me like this. She loved me… still loves me… No. No, it was impossible. This was a lie.
“Liar!” I screamed, my voice louder, sharper, laced with a tremor I could no longer control. “You all… you took her away from me! You separated me from her, shattered everything that mattered to me! You exiled me here, left me alone. You pretended to care about me, to love me… but…”
My voice faltered, breaking off, the last word tasting bitter on my tongue. Something cold and wet dripped onto my hooves. Confused, I looked down and saw tears streaming down my face, falling to the ground. I… was crying? I was happy. I was delivering justice. Why… why did it hurt so much?
My friends looked at me. The shock and fear in their eyes morphed into something else. Pity. They looked at me as though I were broken. They no longer saw just a monster but a frightened creature, cornered in an alley. The pity in their eyes cut deeper than any lie, any wound they had ever inflicted upon me.
I screamed. A scream filled with pain and frustration. I screamed as loud as I could, as if the sound itself could drive away all the agony and chaos inside me.
Then Pinkie Pie stepped forward hesitantly. Her eyes, still damp with tears, were warm, filled with compassion. “Twilight,” she said softly, her voice quivering slightly. “We… I… I just want you to feel better. Please… let me help you. You say we’re not your friends, but…” She paused briefly, swallowing before continuing. “You look like you could use a friend.”
Something about her words – that simple, unfiltered honesty – stung like a needle in my heart, piercing deep into whatever remained of me. But instead of comforting me, it snapped the last threads of my control. A cold, malevolent growl escaped me as the fire in my chest reignited.
“No,” I spat. “You can’t help me. It’s too late. Look around! Look at what I… what I did because of her… because of you.”
I lifted a hoof and gestured to the city behind me, where black, smoldering clouds of smoke rose, and the buildings stood as silent witnesses to my destruction. Flames licked at the remnants, and charred bodies lay scattered like discarded dolls along the edges. “There’s no going back.”
Without hesitation, I summoned the knife, sending it slicing toward Rainbow Dash’s throat with a sharp hiss. But mere inches from her neck, it halted abruptly, as if it had struck an invisible barrier. My breath caught, and for a moment, confusion flickered through me. Why…?
A frustrated growl escaped me, and with all my strength, I drew the knife back, launching it again at Rainbow Dash with full force, determined to break through the invisible resistance. But again, the blade stopped just short of her trembling neck. A tremor ran through me as I grasped the reality of the moment - I couldn’t harm Rainbow Dash.
Confusion and frustration boiled within me as I struggled to understand the reason. Why was something holding me back? Why couldn’t I just silence the hated faces that had caused me so much pain?
My hooves trembled, and the knife clattered to the ground as I turned away from the group, ignoring the fear and stunned silence behind me. A cold, constricting sensation settled in my chest as I left the alley, my thoughts a chaotic tangle of anger and confusion.
“Spike,” I said finally, my voice strangely calm as I looked at the little dragon waiting at the end of the alley, his worried eyes watching me closely. “Would you please draft a letter to Celestia?”
Spike hesitated, his expression a reflection of the confusion and uncertainty swirling within me. But he nodded, pulling out a piece of parchment with trembling claws and a quill. My gaze was hard and unyielding, my heart pounding like a drum as I found the words that expressed my deepest desires.
“Write: Dear Princess Celestia…” I began, feeling my voice drop to a dangerous whisper as I spoke the words almost mechanically. “Today, I learned an important lesson. I’ve learned that friendship isn’t always easy. Sometimes misunderstandings can cause friends to grow distant, and sometimes it’s hard to trust your friends. But true friends are always there for you and help you… even when you don’t want to be helped.”
I paused, listening to the soft scratch of Spike’s quill over the parchment, letting the words hang in the air without fully grasping their meaning. Then, with a small, barely perceptible shimmer in the magic surrounding me, I took the letter. I let my gaze travel over the lines.
Dear Princess Celestia,
I am a horrible pony. I have wronged everyone I ever loved. Help me. Help me. Help me. It hurts so much. Why did you do this to me? Celestia. Help me. They’re all dead. The bodies. The fire. Help me. Help me. I killed them. Help me. Why did you leave me? Why… Help me. They want to be my friends. Help me. Help me. I stabbed Rainbow Dash.
Your faithful student,
I smiled, a cold, indifferent feeling washing over me as my eyes skimmed the disturbing words scrawled in rough, jagged letters on the page. “Perfect.” My voice was little more than a hollow whisper, filled with a strange sense of satisfaction. I handed the letter to Spike, feeling his reluctance and the hesitation in his small claws, but I ignored it.
“Please send the letter,” I said with a calmness that didn’t match the turmoil in my chest.
Spike looked at me uncertainly, his eyes filled with questions he didn’t dare voice, before finally nodding. With a hesitant breath, he let out a green flame that consumed the letter, the glowing words dissolving into magical smoke that drifted up into the night sky, bound for Canterlot.
I watched as the smoke faded, and a cold, inscrutable peace settled over me.
Author's Note
It won't be long now. I hope you like it so far. The chapter was incredibly difficult for me and to be honest I'm not really satisfied, but sometimes you just have to keep going.
I walked slowly toward the library, an odd sense of emptiness spreading within me. It felt as though I’d finally finished a long-overdue paper. Everything had been said, everything had been done. It was over. The fear that had haunted me these past weeks, like a shadow, was gone. The hate and anger that had filled me in recent days had vanished, as if washed away. For the first time in a long while, I felt… empty. Free.
I stopped in front of the library, its familiar structure—what had once been my home—standing before me. Something about it looked different since I’d left it this morning. I let my gaze drift over the windows, over the flower beds that still stood undisturbed at the entrance… And then I saw it.
The library was on fire. Thick, black smoke rose into the night sky, the walls crackled, and the wood splintered under the heat as flames reached ever higher. Ah, right… that’s why Spike had come to me. I’d almost forgotten. It was strange—I felt so calm, so unnervingly at peace. And yet… tears still burned in my eyes, remnants of a sorrow I could no longer feel.
Slowly, I sat down and fixed my gaze on the flames devouring my home. The heat shimmered in the air, and the fire reflected in my eyes, but all I felt was the cold inside me. Everything was gone. Everything was lost.
Only in this moment did I truly begin to understand what I had done. The world around me blurred, and a heavy weight pressed down on my chest. Slowly, I lowered my gaze and stared at my hooves. They were red. Red from the blood of innocent ponies whom I… whom I had killed in cold blood.
A shudder ran through me, and my body began to tremble. The guilt pressed on me, and I wanted to shake it off, forget it, suppress it—but no matter what I did, the color on my hooves, that deep red hue, it stayed.
“Princess!” I cried, my voice breaking and wavering, not knowing if I was pleading for forgiveness, help, or an answer. “Princess… Princess… Princess!” The words echoed in my mind, but I can’t say what I was truly saying, what I was really feeling.
I think I screamed again, a tortured echo releasing the pain and regret that had taken hold of me. But all that remained was silence, the cool, unyielding silence that smothered me.
But the silence did not last.
The deep rumble of hooves and the soft flapping of wings cut through the twilight. Over the burning ruins of Ponyville, I could make out the shapes of approaching ponies. It didn’t take long for a majestic figure to emerge from the shadows—Princess Celestia, flanked by the Royal Guard, striding toward me like an unstoppable storm.
I remained quiet, letting the moment wash over me, while the crackling of flames around us continued, as though the fire itself was listening in on our encounter. The beats of Celestia’s wings grew softer until they finally fell silent, as she landed directly before me. Her eyes studied me, an expression mingling boundless pain with steely resolve.
“Twilight,” she said, her voice unexpectedly calm, as gentle as the rustling of the wind, but beneath it lay a gravity, an unspoken weight. “What… what have you done?”
As she stood before me, I didn’t know what to do. My breathing was heavy, ragged, and I slowly sank to the ground, cowering before her hooves, trying to bow, just as I always had. But my movements were erratic, and my entire body trembled. Tears still burned in my eyes, streamed down my face as I struggled to find the right words.
“I… I don’t know,” I whispered, barely audible. A soft sob escaped me as I looked up at her, at the Princess, who stood over me with an unmoving, judgmental expression, staring down at my broken, trembling form. “I just wanted to… to still be your student. Your star pupil.” My voice broke. “I wanted you to look at me the way you used to… to… to sing me to sleep.”
The tears overflowed my eyes, and I felt the facade I had held up for so long completely crumble. The anger returned, relentless, and a growl escaped my throat before I could regain control.
“But you made me disappear,” I screamed, feeling the heat of rising anger in my chest. “You threw me away like an old toy that had outlived its purpose!”
My breathing grew faster, heavier, and I struggled to regain composure, but my body fought against me. “You sent me away… and now…” I lifted a shaking hoof and stared at the deep red stains, burned into my fur. “Now my hooves are forever filthy, tainted with blood. A mistake, don’t you think?”
Celestia continued to stare at me, with that unshakeable, judging gaze, as though I were nothing more than a disappointment she was forced to endure. But I knew the truth. Behind that royal mask, behind the inscrutable look in her eyes, my words struck deep. I could feel it, like a trembling shadow beneath her facade. It hurt her.
A faint, triumphant grin crept onto my lips, but before I could savor the moment, I suddenly felt the weight of a Royal Guard on my back. He pressed me roughly to the ground, my face against the cold, blood-stained earth, as my body shook beneath his hold. Before I could react, I felt a cold, heavy ring being placed on my horn, silencing the magic that still flickered within me in an instant.
“That’s enough, Sparkle,” the guard growled. Without hesitation, he stepped off my back, grabbed my tail roughly, and began to drag me toward the prison carriage they’d brought. The ground scraped beneath me, and a sharp pain shot through my body, but I fought with all my strength, struggling to break free of his grip. My hooves scraped the ground, my eyes desperately searching for the Princess. I wanted our gazes to meet one last time.
When I finally found her, I saw it. Behind her cool, perfect mask, just before the heavy doors of the carriage slammed shut, there was a flash—a glimmer of tears in the Princess’s eyes. A pain she could no longer hide.
A quiet, bitter laugh escaped me, echoing off the cold walls of the cell as the heavy doors of the carriage closed behind me. I sank down onto the cold floor, huddled up, and laughed—a shrill, hysterical laugh, one that seemed to have no end, as though I were the only audience to a cruel, absurd joke.
Then, as the laughter finally ebbed, I felt a chill in the cell. On the other side of the small room, there she sat—Celestia. Her gaze was fixed, inscrutable, like a glimmering mask of disdain that snuffed out every hope, every spark of warmth. I laughed again, laughed until I was out of breath and felt like I might choke.
“I told you in the cellar,” she said finally, her voice sounding emotionless. Just a cold statement.
I forced myself to suppress the laughter and looked her in the face. “Yes, you did,” I replied, my voice hoarse, almost broken. “And look where we are now. So what now, huh? Now that I’m locked up here all alone.” A bitter smile twisted my lips. “Are you going to take me away?”
Celestia said nothing, just continued to look at me with that relentless, empty gaze. And I laughed again, a laugh that even to my own ears sounded like a tortured, desperate howl.
“You know,” I finally gasped, “all of this… this was your mistake. Not mine. Yours. I just wanted… I just wanted you to be proud of me.” My voice broke, and I heard it echoing in the silence of the cell, hollow and painful. “I just wanted to be with you… but instead, you banished me, sent me here, to this dark hole, and now… now I’m alone.” The last words were barely a whisper, laced with a bitterness that shook me to my core. “You abandoned me,” I added softly, almost to myself.
Celestia remained still, her face a mask of unmovable coldness. I couldn’t bear it any longer. I squeezed my eyes shut and screamed one last time. My eyes burned, and I stared at her, but she stayed silent.
“Tell me, Celestia,” I finally whispered, each word tearing out of my throat like a jagged shard. “Was any of it real? Did you… did you ever love me? Or was I just… a tool?”
The silence that followed settled like a dark shroud over us, thick and unrelenting. Celestia’s form began to blur, to fade, as if she were slowly, mercilessly dissolving into the darkness. She said nothing, not a single word, and the silence sliced into my heart like a cold blade, until only emptiness remained.
“Alone,” I whispered, pressing myself tighter against the wall, a faint, broken smile on my lips. “No one will ever see Twilight Sparkle again.”
And with those words, I began to laugh.
A few days later, I sat in my cell in the Canterlot Secure Asylum. The silence here was suffocating, broken only by the distant echoes of other inmates and the occasional clinking of keys at the guards’ belts. My thoughts churned like a restless sea, its waves crashing relentlessly against the walls of my cell.
I toyed with my magic, feeling the familiar tingling against the boundaries of the magic suppression ring. The power was still there, hidden, but palpable, and as I felt the ring on my horn, I tested its limits. I knew I could break it—the ring was strong, but not strong enough to block my magic completely.
A cold, almost satisfied smile tugged at my lips. They had underestimated me, thought a simple ring could hold me. My time here had made me quieter, but beneath that… beneath that lay a resolve, a newfound clarity that had set in.
I had asked for a piece of parchment and a quill. The guards were suspicious at first, exchanging wary glances, but my doctor insisted I receive the items I’d requested. She said it was good for me to write down my thoughts, a first step toward healing, as she called it. There was something strangely familiar about her—a hint of something I felt just on the edges of my awareness, without being able to fully grasp it.
But it left me cold. Not that it mattered anymore, after tonight. Her therapy, her attempts to pry into my mind and analyze my innermost thoughts—all of that would no longer matter.
I’d already written my last thoughts—a final letter to Princess Celestia, carefully crafted, word by word, as though cursing her with every phrase. I had finally stabbed the quill through the parchment with a bitter smile, pinning the letter to the wall, where it hung like a silent witness to my end.
But one final piece remained.
Humming softly, I summoned my magic, feeling it shape itself into a lavender blade, which I pressed against the underside of one of my hooves. A sharp pain shot through me as the blade sliced into my skin, but the pain meant nothing anymore. Slowly, I walked over to the wall and wrote one last message in my blood.
“See you soon.”
A faint, almost contented smile crept across my face as I looked at my work. The words glowed in the darkness, a final message, a promise.
I closed my eyes, focusing on the last remnants of magic I’d preserved. The suppression ring groaned softly, and with one final surge, I shattered it, breaking the pitiful thing with my power, which erupted in a single, triumphant moment.
And with one last thought, a final spark of magic, I teleported away.
The end.
Author's Note
And that brings us to the end of the story arc. There will be another epilogue. For more information, read the last blog post about the story.
I hope you like it. Let me know what you think of the ending.
Princess Celestia sat in a small, sparsely furnished office, its cool gloom nearly oppressive. The room was lit only by a single desk lamp, its dim glow pooling in warm, murky circles across the table and casting long shadows. The faint, stale scent of old stacks of paper and files hung in the air, lending the room a heavy silence. It was unusual for Celestia to be the visitor—typically, others waited for her, seated in her office, patient and reverent, while she took her place at the head of her majestic desk. But these circumstances were different; the roles were reversed.
Across from her sat Dr. Pinkamina Diane Pie, or just Pinkie Pie to her friends. She wore a white lab coat and looked unusually serious. Her usually curly mane was pulled into a somewhat tidy braid, and instead of her customary smile, her face held a firm, grave expression. She was focused intently on a file, her snout close to the pages, humming softly in a low, unhurried tone as she read.
Hardly anyone knew that Pinkie Pie held a degree in psychology, specializing in trauma and mental disorders. She had chosen the field to better understand the minds of her fellow ponies and to bring them a smile, especially in dark times. After the terrible events in Ponyville, she had immediately volunteered and formally requested to be Twilight’s treating psychologist—a request that Celestia had gladly accepted. No other psychologist would have committed to Twilight’s case so intensively as Pinkie.
After a few more minutes, with Pinkie fully engrossed in the report, Celestia cleared her throat audibly. The noise startled Pinkie, who raised her head quickly.
“Oh, Princess, sorry!” she apologized with an embarrassed smile. “I got a little too absorbed in the report.”
“No worries, Dr. Pie,” replied the princess with a gentle smile, trying to ease the tension in the room. “I was informed that you wanted to see me, but…” She paused, searching for the right words. “But I still don’t quite know why.”
Pinkie Pie sighed deeply. “It’s about Twilight,” she finally said.
Celestia raised an eyebrow. “New findings?”
Pinkie hesitated, looking uncomfortable, before grabbing a crumpled piece of paper from her desk and squeezing it like a stress ball. “Something like that,” she murmured. “Twilight broke out of the Canterlot Secure Asylum at an unknown time last night.”
“I know,” Celestia replied with a somber tone. “The Royal Guard’s reports were on my desk this morning.” She paused, as if weighed down by her words. “Shining Armor, captain of the Royal Guard and Twilight’s brother, was informed last night. He immediately dispatched a search party. But so far… the search has yielded nothing. It’s as if she vanished. No hoofprints, no magical residue, no witnesses. Nothing.”
Pinkie Pie nodded thoughtfully. “It’s troubling that she managed to break out so easily. The Canterlot Secure Asylum is a high-security facility—under round-the-clock patrol, magically sealed, with heavy steel doors. I can’t explain how she could have escaped.”
Celestia frowned. “I assume she teleported. It’s hard to imagine her breaking through the cell door without leaving traces. A teleport without magical residue is rare, but theoretically possible.”
“But the cells are magically warded,” Pinkie countered, “and she was wearing a top-tier inhibitor ring.”
Celestia let out a short, bitter laugh. “Twilight was always… something special,” she said, her voice tinged with resignation. “It seems she broke the inhibitor ring and found a way to bypass the cell’s magical barriers. I like it as little as you do, Pinkie. Twilight is… dangerous. She has already shown in Ponyville what she’s capable of.” She sighed deeply, running a hoof over her forehead. “The thought of her now roaming free has given me a headache since this morning.”
At the mention of Ponyville, Pinkie looked down sadly, her expression darkening. Celestia noticed the change immediately and decided to inquire. “How are the other Element Bearers faring?” she asked quietly.
Pinkie allowed a moment of silence before she took a deep breath and began to speak. “Not well,” she finally said in a soft voice. “Since the incident, we’ve hardly spoken to one another. Rainbow Dash is tirelessly helping with the reconstruction of Ponyville. I think she’s trying to distract herself, trying to feel useful. She blames herself for everything that happened… believes she could have done more for Twilight, that she could have prevented it.” Pinkie sighed, her voice trembling as she continued. “Applejack isn’t doing much better. Twilight… decapitated her brother. And Apple Bloom witnessed it.” Pinkie’s voice broke for a moment before she continued. “Since then, Applejack has been distant, hardly speaking a word. But one thing is certain: she’s angry. Very angry.”
Pinkie began pressing the crumpled piece of paper in her hooves even harder. “Rarity…” She sighed heavily. “She tries to act as though it doesn’t affect her. She puts on a brave face, handing out blankets and tents to the ponies who lost their homes. I think she’s trying to look hopefully to the future, but… I fear she isn’t handling this as lightly as she lets on.” Pinkie’s voice grew quieter, and she looked down. “And then there’s Fluttershy. Since the incident, she’s barely dared to leave her house. She’s always been skittish, but now…”
Pinkie’s brief explanation ended in a heavy silence that hung over the room like a thick veil. Celestia watched her for a moment before gently asking, “And how are you holding up, Pinkie?”
“I don’t really know,” Pinkie Pie replied softly. “I had hoped to help Twilight. To find out why all of this happened. But now… now she’s gone, my friends are avoiding each other, and nopony in Ponyville feels like laughing anymore.” Her voice shook, and her eyes grew shiny with tears. “Twenty-seven ponies died that day, Princess. Twenty-seven… and I knew each one of them by name. And there are still eighty-three ponies who were badly injured, spread across hospitals all over Equestria. So many are grieving, so many are angry… and I can’t help any of them.”
Celestia observed the disheartened mare in silence for a moment before gently asking, “You say you wanted to find out what happened to Twilight. Do you have… any idea how it all came to this? How everything could go so horribly wrong?”
Pinkie took a deep breath and leafed through her notes. “I’ve had little time so far, and my treatment sessions with Twilight were hardly insightful. She hardly responded to questions or other external stimuli. During her time here, she barely ate or drank. When she spoke, it was mostly incoherent, jumbled nonsense about ponies who weren’t even there.” She sighed heavily. “So far, I’ve barely been able to derive anything useful from my notes. But she left a farewell letter—a kind of poem directed at you. Then there are the entries from her journal and information from conversations with other ponies, especially Spike.”
Pinkie turned another page and sighed softly. “In her journal, she describes a kind of homesickness. She missed Canterlot, but above all, she missed you—or rather, the time she got to spend with you. She wrote about how hard she tried to take the study of friendship seriously, just as you had instructed her, but… she was unhappy.” Pinkie’s voice softened as she continued. “She felt like you were pushing her away, and she blamed herself for it. A few days before the incident, the journal entries just stopped.”
Pinkie licked her hoof briefly and turned another page. “Spike mentioned that, in the days leading up to the incident, Twilight was prone to severe mood swings. At times, she seemed sad; other times, she’d become anxious or angry out of nowhere. He even caught her awake a few times at night, staring out the window toward Canterlot.” She shuddered slightly. “He also believes she began to hurt herself. He found bloodstains on the floor and a carelessly discarded kitchen knife nearby.”
“I can only speculate,” Pinkie began cautiously, “but up to this point, it sounds like she developed a kind of self-loathing. When I look at her journal entries, she seemed to have felt deeply that she had disappointed you—as if you no longer wanted her around because of it. This thought… tore her apart until she couldn’t cope with these feelings any longer.”
“So she buried these feelings deep inside,” Pinkie continued quietly. “Spike told me about a very strange incident,” she added. “One night, she stared intensely into a mirror, almost as if she didn’t recognize herself anymore. Then she grew angry, started arguing with her reflection, and eventually broke down in tears. In the end… she shattered the mirror.”
Celestia’s eyes widened. “She… talked to her reflection?”
Pinkie nodded slowly. “Yes. According to Spike, it was as if she saw someone there, someone only she could perceive—someone who tormented and provoked her. The next morning, Spike asked her about it, but she couldn’t remember a thing, as if the event had been completely erased from her mind.”
Celestia stared at Pinkie Pie in shock, holding a hoof to her mouth.
“I can only speculate here as well,” Pinkie began cautiously, “but to me, it sounds like a projection of her mind—a hallucination that painfully brought her suppressed feelings and emotions to the surface.”
Celestia shook her head, her brow deeply furrowed. “Twilight was always strong and composed. I can hardly imagine her breaking down like that.”
Pinkie paused briefly and sighed. “After that day, she was… different. Spike reported severe paranoia.” She swallowed, her eyes flashing with guilt. “I experienced that paranoia myself when I organized a surprise party for her. I thought that since she was isolating herself, it would help her to break that isolation… but now, I believe it may have been the final blow to her already fragile psyche.”
“She projected her self-hatred and the betrayal she felt from you onto others,” Pinkie stated, her voice soft and reflective. “When we entered her private space, her only safe retreat, it probably felt like a complete loss of control for her. A confirmation that she wasn’t the problem—that it was others who were doing this to her.”
Celestia closed her eyes, her voice barely a whisper. “I wanted to make her stronger. I wanted her to be more independent. If I had only known she felt this way…” She trailed off and shook her head. “No, that doesn’t help us now.”
Pinkie looked at Celestia with sympathetic eyes. “The next time Spike saw her, she was holding a knife to her chest. She wanted to end her life. He had to stop her.”
Celestia’s eyes widened, and she swallowed hard. “Spike… he stopped her?” Her voice trembled, as if the thought alone broke her heart.
“Spike didn’t want to discuss the details,” Pinkie said softly, “but it was clear that she no longer saw any way out. The self-doubt, the feeling that you had abandoned her… it was simply too much for her.”
Pinkie shuddered. “The next time anyone saw her… was when she began her rampage through Ponyville.” She swallowed heavily, then continued. “When Twilight encountered us, she was covered in blood and grinning… manically. She spoke about how we had manipulated her like a toy and then abandoned her, how we had sent her away.” Pinkie paused, her voice quivering. “At first, I didn’t understand what she meant, but… now I think she was really talking about you, Princess. She believed you never truly loved her, that your relationship was a lie—a trick to make her do exactly what you wanted. And that once you no longer needed her, you simply… cast her aside.”
Tears glistened in Celestia’s eyes as memories of her last encounter with Twilight in Ponyville flashed before her mind. She remembered Twilight’s wounded voice, broken and full of despair: “I just wanted to… to still be your student. Your star pupil.” Her voice was barely a whisper, echoing in the darkness. “I wanted you to look at me the way you used to… to… to sing me to sleep.”
Then came the final accusation, like a dagger to Celestia’s heart. “You threw me away like an old toy that had outlived its purpose!”
She recalled Twilight’s last visit to Canterlot before everything fell apart. Twilight had been quieter than usual, almost hesitant as they talked. Celestia had encouraged her to “stand strong,” to “trust herself” in Ponyville. At the time, Twilight had simply nodded, her eyes downcast. Celestia now realized that Twilight might have wanted to say something—maybe to confide her struggles, her fears—but Celestia’s well-meaning words had closed the door on any vulnerability.
The tears flowed freely, and Celestia began to weep—quietly at first, then her sobs grew heavier. She had failed her student… and now Twilight had become a monster. After a while, she lifted her gaze and looked at Pinkie, who regarded her with a sympathetic, sorrowful smile.
Celestia broke her silence, her voice low, almost as if confessing a sin. “I thought… I thought I was preparing her. Making her stronger. But now… I wonder if I simply left her alone, without the guidance she needed.”
Pinkie looked at her, sympathy in her eyes. “You couldn’t have known, Princess. None of us did. Twilight was… good at hiding things. From us, from herself.”
But Celestia shook her head, pain clear in her gaze. “I was her teacher. I should have seen it. She was reaching out to me in her own way, and I was too blind to understand.” She paused, the memory of Twilight’s last, desperate letter burning in her mind. “Tell me, Pinkie,” Celestia whispered, her voice barely a breath, “do you think there’s still hope for my beloved student?”
Pinkie looked away, sighing. “I don’t know,” she admitted honestly. “I’ve never encountered a case like this, but… when we were in the alley, she just couldn’t bring herself to really hurt us. Something deep within her knew it was wrong, and that stopped her.” She paused, her voice soft, almost pleading. “I can only hope that spark still remains in her.”
Slowly, Celestia collected herself, straightening up and assuming the royal posture that was expected of her. But the image of the perfect monarch was broken—smeared makeup traced dark trails down her cheeks. “I hope… I hope it’s not too late,” she whispered. Then she looked at Pinkie. “And what about Spike? You seem to have spoken with him a lot.”
Pinkie Pie nodded. “Yes… he often comes here. I’ve seen him several times at the outer walls of Twilight’s cell.” She paused briefly, her voice gentle and sad. “He frequently asks about her, wants to know how she’s doing, and if he can see her. I think he’s trying to be close to her. He blames himself—thinks he didn’t care enough for her and is now trying to make it right.” Pinkie lowered her gaze, her voice breaking. “It really weighs on him. He misses his big sister.”
Celestia sighed. “Does he know?” she asked.
“No. As far as I know, he still believes that Twilight is here in her cell,” Pinkie said softly. “I’m worried about what he’ll do when he finds out she’s gone.”
Meanwhile, in Ashforge, an industrial city on the southern edge of Equestria, best known not only for its smoking mines and endless forges but also for its role as the largest recruitment and training ground for the Royal Guard in the country’s south, a white-coated mare with a black mane sat on a bench, nervously tapping her hooves, a grin playing on her face. Those looking closely might notice dark blue or magenta roots peeking through her otherwise jet-black mane.
Around the mare sat countless other ponies on similar benches, all waiting for their names to be called. The booming voice of a stern military stallion echoed through the hall. “Starflare, step forward!”
The mare jumped up from the bench and approached the stallion. He scrutinized the small mare closely, his eyes narrowing with scrutiny. “Tell me, missy,” he began in a harsh tone, “why does a dainty thing like you want to join the Royal Guard?”
Starflare grinned, her eyes flashing with an unspoken intention. “Reclaiming my purpose... I’ve always wanted to be close to the Princess.” A low, eerie laugh escaped her, causing the stallion to hesitate, momentarily unsettled. The stallion stared at the mare in front of him and couldn't shake off the thought that there was something off with her.
Author's Note
And here is the epilogue. So this story is officially over. If there is demand, there may be a sequel at some point. That is no guarantee. I hope the people who didn't like the ending will at least find something to like here.
Otherwise have a nice time, don't forget to rate the story and leave me feedback. I'm looking forward to it.
