Chapters My (Brave) Little Toaster
“For a pony who claims to be all about flying around, ya sure are lazy…”
Dash looked up from the newest Daring Do book that she was reading. As usual, Twilight had been sure to purchase a copy the day that it came out, and also as usual Dash had been there as soon as Twilight had gotten back. That was the day before, and Dash was absorbed in Daring’s latest adventure.
Applejack’s comment barely registered with her, as AJ was all the way on the ground, and Rainbow was on her regular cloud, her face buried in the book. As soon as she recognized who the voice was from, though, she forced herself to look away from the printed words and down at the Earth pony who had just addressed her.
“Oh, hi Applejack,” Dash responded, looking at Applejack now. “What’d you say?”
“Ah said, ya sure are lazy for a pony who claims that she loves ta fly everywhere…”
Dash stuck her tongue out at her country-accented friend. “I’ve gotta rest sometime. Besides, this is a very special occasion.” She showed her the new book.
“That’s not all that special,” Applejack commented. “Ya get the new Daring Do book every time it comes out… What’s so special about this one?”
Dash grinned. “This just happens to be… the twentieth book that this author has written in the Daring Do series. Twilight got it from the author herself; she even signed it for me.”
Applejack looked at her oddly. “Fer you? As in, you specifically? Aren’t those usually books that go into the general-reading section in Twilight’s library?”
“She got two copies,” Dash explained. “One went into the library, and the other one she gave to me. The second copy was the one that the author autographed.”
Applejack nodded. “Say, Ah’ve been wantin’ to know something. Who exactly does write those Daring Do books? Whoever they are, they must be a heck of a writer, to keep someone as anti-egghead as you interested in them.”
Dash rolled her eyes. “Silly Applejack, they’re written by-“
“DASHIE!” A familiar high-pitched voice sounded from further on down the way, interrupting Dash’s thoughts. Both Dash and Applejack immediately recognized that voice. “Pinkie Pie…” Applejack mouthed up to Dash, and Dash nodded.
Sure enough, in a moment, that tell-tale puffy pink mane came into view as Pinkie Pie bounded towards them. She seemed to be anxious about something, and both of them picked up on that at the same time. Dash laid the book down on the cloud after replacing the bookmark on her current spot so as not to lose her progress.
“Dashie!” she yelled again. “You need to come with me! And quick!”
Dash flew down from her personal cloud throne and landed on the grass beside Applejack. “Now what’s the hurry, Pinkie Pie? Is something on fire?”
“It ain’t the Sweet Apple Acres, is it?” Applejack asked, suddenly worried.
“No, silly! If it were on fire, you’d be able to see it from here…” Pinkie Pie had a point, they admitted to themselves silently; they were only less than a mile away from Sweet Apple Acres, and if the Apple family’s farm had been in some kind of fire-related danger, they probably could have seen it from there.
“So what is it?” Applejack asked. “What’s got ya all hyper and stuff?”
“I’m like this all the time! Remember?” Pinkie grinned. “But this time, it’s different from all the other times!” She turned to Dash. “I was sent here by Soarin’ and Spitfire to remind you about the-“
“The demonstration today!” Dash exclaimed in disbelief. “I’d forgotten totally about it! Thanks, Pinkie; you’re a lifesaver.” Dash flew off; the two of them could hear her say as she left, “I’m late, I’m late, for a very important date…!”
Pinkie looked at Applejack. “So… Do you wanna go see her do her thing?”
Applejack smiled. “Ah sure do… though only if yer gonna be there as well.”
Pinkie grinned again. “Of course, silly! Do you really think I’d miss something as important as this? Besides, we’ve spent so little time together as of late… And I really miss our dates.”
Applejack rested her head against the side of Pinkie’s neck. “Ah do, too. Well, Ah don’t have anything to do today, so… Let’s go watch Dash.” Pinkie smiled wider than ever before, even wider than that first Sonic Rainboom that she’d ever seen, and she and Applejack walked off in the direction of the Wonderbolts’ makeshift air field.
When Dash made it to the field, she was greeted by Spitfire, who was flying around above the pitch looking out for her. “I’m so sorry I’m late!” Dash called out. “I got… caught up in something.”
Spitfire laughed. “That book of yours again? What’s it called, Daring Do?”
Dash nodded. “They’re such good books, I can’t bear to put them down most of the time… I’d have forgotten completely about this, if Pinkie Pie hadn’t come and reminded me.”
“Oh good,” Spitfire replied, more than a bit relieved, “so Ditzy did make it over there to find her. I asked her to do it because she was the only flyer here at the time, but she said she didn’t know where you were, so I told her to go find Pinkie or Rarity and ask them to get you.”
“Rarity is off in Canterlot for the weekend,” Dash explained as they flew down to the field, “so it’s good that Derpy went and found Pinkie Pie.”
Spitfire looked at Dash oddly as they landed. “You know, that reminds me of something, Dash. Why is it that you call her Derpy when all of us other ponies call her Ditzy?”
Dash thought for a second. “I don’t know, really. I think it was because she asked me to call her that after we’d first met. I don’t think she knew what Derpy meant, exactly, but then again back then, I didn’t know either… After I’d found out, I wanted her to stop calling herself that, but she just wouldn’t do it, even after I told her. ‘It’s appropriate,’ she’d say.”
Her companion laughed. “That sounds like her. So are you ready for the demonstration? Your eager audience awaits.” She pointed over to a bench that had been erected near the edge of the field; sitting on that bench were a trio of fillies that Dash recognized immediately.
“Hey, Scoots!” she called out, waving. “Hey, Sweetie! Hey, Applebloom!” The Cutie Mark Crusaders all started cheering wildly, and Dash flew up into the air immediately, not wanting to keep her biggest fans waiting.
She launched into one of her more complicated routines, one that involved a few near-misses towards the ground and a few rebounds off some trees. She glanced down every once in awhile, and saw that the Crusaders were eating it all up. She grinned and banked up sharply into the air, climbing up higher and higher.
“Ooh!” Scootaloo said when realization dawned on her. “She’s gonna end it with a Sonic Rainboom! How cool is that?” The other two agreed enthusiastically.
Dash reached her optimum height, then veered sharply downward. She accelerated to her top speed, and she could feel the boom getting ready to happen. When she was still a good three hundred feet or so above the ground, the air cracked with a mighty boom, and a rainbow cloud exploded outward from the point where Dash had broken the sound barrier.
The Crusaders cheered as Dash leveled off and flew down to where Spitfire was standing next to them. She had a look of admiration on her face, and Dash couldn’t help but blush a bit. Ever since she and Spitfire had become an item, stuff like Dash’s Sonic Rainbooms had begun to impress her more than ever before.
Dash looked at her fans, only to notice that Sweetie was looking at her a bit oddly. “Did you not like that, Sweetie?” Dash asked.
“Oh, I did,” Sweetie said quickly. “I was just wondering… what’s with the toaster?”
“The what?” Dash asked confusedly. It was only at that point that she looked down and realized that she was holding a toaster in her forehooves. “What the hay? Where did this come from?!” Applebloom smiled a bit at Dash’s unintentional usage of one of her sister’s catchphrases.
“Ooh, a toaster!” Pinkie said as she came up to them, Applejack following soon behind. “Mine broke a few weeks ago; can I have that one?”
“Um, sure…” Dash said a bit unsurely, handing the toaster over to Pinkie, who smiled at Applejack.
Spitfire looked at Dash. “Did that… appear from out of your Sonic Rainboom?”
Dash shrugged. “I don’t know… and I really don’t care, either. It’s Pinkie Pie’s problem now.” She looked at Spitfire. “I’m guessing this is over now?” When Spitfire nodded, Dash continued: “Okay, so I’m gonna get back to my book. You wanna join me? My cloud is more than big enough for two.”
Spitfire nodded and smiled quietly, and flew off with Dash flying close behind her. They left the Cutie Mark Crusaders behind with Pinkie and Applejack, with the Crusaders staring in wonder at that newfangled contraption.
Deep within the wiring and mechanics of the toaster, unbeknownst to any of the ponies standing there around it… a consciousness began to awaken.
My (Brave) Little Toaster
Of Pairings and Missing Appliances
As they walked along the road that would take them back to Pinkie Pie’s house, Applebloom looked at the contraption oddly. It was at that point being balanced somewhat precariously on Pinkie’s head, but miraculously, it didn’t seem in danger of falling off one way or the other.
“Hey, Pinkie…?” Applebloom finally spoke up. “How is that thing not falling off your head? You’re doing your normal skipping and hopping everywhere, and yet it’s still staying up there…”
“Oh, that? That’s just skill! I used to carry rocks on my head all the time when I was a kid. Not quite sure why, now… I guess I had a good reason back then, though!”
It took them a few seconds to realize just what on earth Pinkie was talking about. “Oh,” Sweetie eventually said after the light bulb had come on, “you’re talking about the same thing you mentioned in your cutie mark story. Your rock-farming days.”
“Yup!” Pinkie replied. “I’ve always wanted to go back and see how the family’s doing, but it’s just so far away… Oh and you have a lightbulb floating above your head, you know.”
Sweetie looked up. “No, I don’t…”
“Well, it’s not something you can see, silly.” Pinkie bounded ahead a bit, leaving Sweetie looking at the other two Cutie Mark Crusaders members for even the smallest sliver of understanding. They weren’t being very helpful.
When they reached Pinkie’s house, they were all surprised to see Applejack already in the kitchen, setting out dinner plates.
“How did you beat us here?” Scootaloo asked. “We were goin’ pretty fast.”
“That’s for me ta know and for you ta wonder about,” AJ said with a wink. “Now I want all of you- and yes, that means you too, Pinkie- ta be on yer best behavior tonight. We’re having Rarity and Fluttershy over for dinner tonight.”
“Did those two finally hook up?” Scootaloo piped up. “It’s about darn time!”
Applejack laughed. “No, they’re still just friends, no matter how much pushin’ we do in that direction. They’re both just as stubborn as Ah am, when it comes to these kinds a-things.”
Pinkie skipped over to the counter and slid the toaster off of her head. It landed neatly next to the bread-box. Using her mouth, she lifted the cord up and plugged it in. “Ptooie!” she exclaimed after she let the cord drop from her teeth. “That doesn’t taste like cupcakes at all!”
“Well no duh, Pinkie,” Scootaloo replied. “That’s ‘cause it’s not a cupcake. It’s a power cord.”
Pinkie looked at her oddly. “You’re saying that things that aren’t cupcakes can’t taste like cupcakes? That’s not true at all! Why, just the other night, I was telling AJ that she-“
“Alright now,” Applejack cut in, pressing a hoof up to Pinkie’s mouth, “there’s no need for tha whole world to hear about our bedtime conversations…”
The Crusaders giggled, which only served to fluster Applejack even further. “Ah come on, y’all are too young to be hearin’ about these kinds a-things.”
“No, we’re not!” Scootaloo protested. “We’re almost as old as you two are!”
“Almost, yeah, but not quite. And that’s final.” They were all silent; they all knew better than to protest when Applejack laid down her hoof.
“Much better,” AJ continued with a smile. “Now you three go upstairs and get washed up; Fluttershy an’ Rarity are gonna be here any minute now.” They all saluted her and rushed upstairs.
Once they were out of sight, and presumably out of earshot as well, Applejack turned to Pinkie. “Ah don’t trust that thing,” she said, pointing her hoof at the toaster.
Pinkie cocked her head. “Whatever for? It’s a toaster! It makes delicious, buttery toast!”
“Well technically, it just makes toast. Ya have to put the butter on after the toast comes out, but that’s beside the point… Toasters don’t just usually appear out of nowhere, and especially not in the hooves of a pony like Rainbow Dash.”
“Didn’t you see what happened? It came here riding on the grand coattails of Dashie’s Sonic Rainboom! It was so awesome, like BOOM! Just happened out of nowhere-“
“Ah know, sugarcube,” Applejack interjected, hoping to cut her off before she got too far down her path of craziness, “Ah was there, too. But that still explains nothin’…” She looked over at it warily.
“Oh come on,” Pinkie replied, hopping over to it, “it’s not like it’s going to bite you or anything. Here, watch!” She laid a hoof on top of it and kept it there for a few seconds before taking it off. “See? It’s harmless! It wasn’t even hot or anything.”
“I kinda figured that, Pinkie… We haven’t made anything in it yet.”
“Ooh speaking of! When are we going to inaugurate the first-ever Pinkiejack toaster?”
“Ah was thinkin’ about- wait. What in tarnation did you just call it?”
“It’s my pet name for it. I think it’s called a portmanteau. You know, you take two names and put them together. Well, I’m Pinkie Pie and you’re Applejack, so I took our names and made Pinkiejack out of it.”
Applejack rolled her eyes. “If ya’re gonna call it anything, call it the Applepie toaster. That sounds much better.”
“How is that better? It’s not apple pie at all. It’s a toaster. Can you make toast by putting slices of bread into an apple pie? No! You have to use a toaster. Or Spike’s fire-breath.”
“Speaking of,” Applejack replied, grateful for the opportunity to change the absolutely inane topic, “do ya think we should have invited Twilight or Rainbow Dash, too? I mean, they’re a part of our group just as much as Rarity and Fluttershy are…”
“I doubt either of them would have been able to come, anyways,” Pinkie replied. “Rainbow’s got her date night with Spitfire tonight, and I hear they’ve got reservations at that new Ponytalian restaurant that just opened up a few months ago.”
“Which one? Oh, ya mean that Mare of the Moon place?”
“Yep! That’s the one! My friends Vinyl and Derpy went there last weekend, and they said it was absolutely incredible. I’d love to go there sometime soon.” She leaned in near Applejack. “Wouldn’t you?”
“Not really,” Applejack replied. “Places like that are much too up-tight and fancy for me. Ah enjoy just eating at the house.” Seeing Pinkie’s rapidly-deflating demeanor, she quickly added, “But that doesn’t mean we won’t ever go. Ah just haven’t decided yet when.”
Pinkie popped back into her regular mode. “Yay!” she exclaimed, throwing her hooves around Applejack’s neck and kissing her right on the mouth. Normally, AJ would have tried to resist a little bit, but this time she felt herself enjoying it right away, and she returned the kiss.
“Oh my…” came a tiny voice from over by the door. “Um, I’m so sorry if we’re interrupting something…”
Applejack broke away quickly. “Oh… Fluttershy! Ah wasn’t expectin’ you and Rarity so early…”
“Oh, well, actually it’s just me for now… Rarity had to finish up a dress for Vinyl Scratch, so she told me to go on ahead and she’ll be there in a bit.”
“Wait. Seriously?”
Fluttershy looked at Pinkie. “Yes, I am serious… She won’t be here ‘til later-“
“No, I don’t mean that. Vinyl’s going to wear a dress? Since when does Ponyville’s greatest-ever DJ wear dresses?”
“It’s a special occasion… It appears that she and Ditzy Doo had an excellent time on their date to Mare in the Moon, and well… Derpy had made a comment that she’d like to see Vinyl in a dress, so she decided to do it… It looks rather elegant.”
Applejack smiled. “That’s good to hear. Ah always like to see ponies getting out of their comfort zones.”
“Hey, Fluttershy! We got a new toaster!” Pinkie pointed to the toaster after bringing that topic up out of nowhere. “You want some toast?”
“Um, that sounds lovely, but… there’s nothing there.”
Pinkie looked over at the spot where the toaster had been. Sure enough, it was no longer in that spot.
“What the hay?” Applejack asked, searching for it. “Did Applebloom an’ them get it while we weren’t looking?”
“Maybe… Are they upstairs?” AJ nodded, and Fluttershy started up the stairs to ask them.
“Let’s keep lookin’ down here,” Applejack suggested. Pinkie nodded resolutely, and they began their search of the kitchen.
High above them, perched on the top of the dishes cabinet, the toaster sat, angled to look like it was looking down at them. As it did so, a pair of eyes opened up on its side and stared down at the two ponies.
“Where… am I?”
My (Brave) Little Toaster
Fluttershy walked up the stairs to the top floor of Applejack’s apartment. She treaded lightly, trying not to make too much noise. This was equally for the ponies downstairs, as the ones upstairs.
“I wonder how they could have gotten past us…” she whispered aloud to no one in particular, as she continued on. “I mean, yeah, we were pretty deep in conversation, but I don’t think we could have missed them walking out with a whole toaster… Hmm, I wonder what toast made by Applejack would taste like. Maybe she’d put apple butter on it; that would be delicious…”
As she reached the top of the stairs, she heard Sweetie talking from the bathroom: “See? I told you it’d be easy to get it!”
“Yeah, yeah…” Scootaloo muttered. “Now what do we do with it, is the question.”
“I think you’re supposed to put something in it,” Sweetie replied.
“Or put it in something!” exclaimed Applebloom.
“That makes no sense at all,” Scootaloo replied. “It’s much too big to go inside something.”
Fluttershy, at that point, had reached the bathroom door. She knocked on it gently. “Um, are you… almost done in there?”
“Oh!” Scootaloo exclaimed. “Sorry, Fluttershy! We’ll be out in a second.” Fluttershy stepped back, waiting to catch them red-handed with the toaster. She could hear them talking indistinctly as she waited. A few moments later, the door opened a second later, and Scootaloo stepped out, her two friends flanking her. Balanced on Scootaloo’s hooves was-
“You guys have seriously never seen a Ponystation Portable before?” she was saying in disbelief. “How in the world could that be?”
“Video gaming isn’t really all that high on my list of things to occupy my time with,” Sweetie replied as they passed Fluttershy. “I’d much rather work on things with Rarity- when we’re not butting heads every few minutes that is…”
As Fluttershy stepped into the bathroom, she heard Scootaloo say, “You’re just jealous that Rainbow Dash got this for me, and not for you. That’s why I’ll treasure this forever!” Fluttershy then closed the door, as she’d suddenly realized that her unintentional little white lie, hadn’t been a lie after all.
Turns out, she really did have to use the little mare’s room.
While all this was going on, Applejack and Pinkie Pie were downstairs searching for the toaster. “Ah’m still convinced that them Crusaders took it,” AJ was saying. “Ah don’t believe for a single second that a toaster could be alive.”
“And just why not?” Pinkie demanded. “What is so far-fetched about a living toaster?”
“Everythin’!” Applejack exclaimed in response. “A toaster is nothin’ more than a big ol’ pile of mechanics and other confusin’ stuff. Ah swear, Pinkie, this might be your craziest idea yet.”
“Even crazier than my dream last week about that living tombstone?”
Applejack just shook her head in resignation. Pinkie hadn’t stopped talking about that dream ever since she’d had it. It made no sense whatsoever: a tombstone that walked around blaring loud and discordant music from some kind of speaker system that was hooked up to its backside.
She didn’t want to make sense of it, neither was she going to try. To her, it was just another Pinkie-ism that she’d just have to learn to deal with.
“All dreams aside, we’re gonna be in some serious trouble if we can’t find that darn toaster!”
Pinkie started opening up the cupboards looking for it. “Here, toaster! Come here!” she cooed in a soft voice.
“It’s not a cat,” Applejack replied. Winona popped her head up from outside the open windowsill. “Ah wasn’t talkin’ to you, Winona. Dinner’ll be in about an hour, by the way.” Winona nodded her head and hopped down off the stack of crates that Big Macintosh had placed there to allow Winona to get in through the kitchen window whenever it was open, which more often than not it was.
Pinkie continued her search of the cabinets, still keeping on her calling for the toaster in that voice. Applejack, at one point, just started ignoring her, choosing instead to keep concentration on her own search for the missing appliance.
“What on earth are you two doing?” Scootaloo said as she bounded down the stairs. Applebloom trotted behind her, with Sweetie bringing up the rear.
“I gotta say, this is actually really fun!” Sweetie was saying as she played Scootaloo’s Ponystation Portable. “I mean, for a game called Peace Trotter , it’s pretty violent, but at the same time… I like it!”
“Told you ya would!” Scoots said with a grin, before turning back to Applejack. “But seriously, what are you and Pinkie doing?”
“We’re lookin’ fer that toaster,” AJ replied, turning to the Crusaders. “Speakin’ of which, did one of ya sneak it out while we weren’t lookin’?”
“Nope!” Applebloom replied. “We just went straight upstairs, like ya’d said.”
Applejack tried her best to imitate Fluttershy’s infamous Stare on them. It never worked as effectively when AJ tried it as it did when Fluttershy did, but it didn’t stop her nonetheless. “Are ya sure? Yer tellin’ me the truth, right?”
“We promise!” Sweetie replied. “We don’t even know how to work that thing; why in the world would we take it?”
“Ah suppose ya have a point…” Applejack stopped trying to use the Stare, as it obviously didn’t work. It didn’t really have a reason to be used, either; she believed her little sister and her friends. If they said they didn’t take the toaster, then they didn’t take it.
“She just tried the Stare again, didn’t she?” Pinkie asked from right behind Applejack. AJ jumped a little bit; she hadn’t felt Pinkie approach at all.
Scootaloo nodded with a grin, and Pinkie started laughing hysterically. “She wants so badly to be able to get it right, but she’s never been able to…!”
“Someday…” Applejack muttered as she turned to walk upstairs. “Y’all keep yerselves company down here; Ah’m gonna go see what’s takin’ Fluttershy so long…”
As Applejack walked up the stairs, Pinkie turned to the Crusaders. “Okay, so you don’t have to lie to me like you do with Applejack. You can tell me where you hid the toaster; I Pinkie Promise that I won’t get mad.”
“We’re tellin’ the truth!” Applebloom replied. “We really didn’t take it!”
“Yeah, we were upstairs the whole time,” Scootaloo added. She reached over to Sweetie, as though she was going to try to take the PSP away from her, but Sweetie deftly batted her hoof away without missing a beat in the game. “See? Sweetie absolutely can’t be pulled away from it- well, yeah, she kinda started playing it after Fluttershy came and got us out of the bathroom, but still… The point stands: we didn’t do it.”
“Oh…” Pinkie hopped over to the countertop again. “And here, I was about to congratulate you three on being such good ninjas…”
“Hey!” Sweetie exclaimed suddenly, though she didn’t take her eyes off the screen. “Maybe that’s what could earn us our cutie marks. We could try being ninjas!”
“That’s not a good idea,” Pinkie replied in all seriousness. “I had a friend in filly’s school who tried that, and surprisingly, it actually worked. Problem was, as you probably know, ninjas are best known for not being seen, so… well, she got her cutie mark alright, but no one could tell what it was, ‘cause it was invisible. She’s gotta explain to everypony that asks, how she’s not a fully-grown blank flank.”
Scootaloo shuddered a bit. “That would suck big time… You’re right, Pinkie Pie, let’s not try that.”
Pinkie giggled a bit as she turned away from them. Of course, that story she’d just told was a complete and total fabrication, but they’d swallowed it whole so easily… She just couldn’t bear to tell them of her good-natured deception.
A few minutes later, Applejack and Fluttershy came down from upstairs. “Ya’ve gotta be kiddin’ me…” Applejack was saying. “There’s no way one pony could eat that much…”
“I’m being serious,” Fluttershy replied. “Rainbow Dash’s appetite is pretty much insatiable…”
“If that’s really the case, then why doesn’t she try out for the Cloudsdale Heavy Eaters Tournament next month? That seems perfectly up her alley.”
Suddenly, a familiar voice sounded from the door. “I will tell you why,” Rarity said as she stepped inside. “She has actually thought about doing that, but she is simply afraid that she will show up her competitors too much.” At Pinkie’s shocked look, Rarity continued: “What? Even Rainbow Dash has some reservations when it comes to going all-out for something like that.”
Fluttershy smiled at Rarity, and Rarity smiled right back. “Ah, I am glad to see you took my advice, darling. Has the dinner party started yet?”
“Not yet,” Applejack replied. “Pinkie got a new toaster today, but it’s seemed to have skipped town… We’re lookin’ for it as we speak.”
“Do you mean that silver box that is sitting on the counter-top behind you?”
Applejack turned around, and was forced to bite off a good-natured sarcastic response. Sure enough, the toaster was sitting there on the counter, like it had never even been moved to begin with.
“What in tarnation?” AJ asked. “That was not there just a second ago…”
“Of course not!” Pinkie responded. “It jumped down from on top of the cabinets a few minutes ago.”
“On top of the cabinet, you say?” Rarity responded. “How on earth did it get up there? And does that mean you knew where it was, the whole time?”
“Not the whole time, silly Rarity! I found it right before AJ and Fluttershy came back from spending so long in the bathroom upstairs, just a minute ago.” Rarity flashed Fluttershy a sly look, and Fluttershy sent back a non-verbal message indicating that she’d explain later.
“Um, Applejack…” Sweetie said, looking up from her game for the first time in quite awhile. “That toaster… has eyes.”
“What are you talkin’ about?” AJ turned again. Sure enough, the eyes were visible, as was a small mouth.
“I’m sorry…” it said in a small, childlike voice. “Did I scare you?”
Applejack promptly passed out on the floor, while Pinkie Pie jumped up and down in glee. “See?” she shouted to the room. “I told you! I told you it was alive!”
View Online
My (Brave) Little Toaster
To Derp or Not to Derp? That Is the Question
Fluttershy lay on Applejack’s bed, batting a ball up and down. It hit the ceiling with solid thwocks, coming down to her again each and every time. At least she had a solid grasp that gravity still worked its course.
Rainbow Dash, of course, had been doing the exact same thing in the hospital- substituting the wall for the ceiling- before she’d discovered her now-beloved Daring Do books, though there was no way that Fluttershy could have known that.
A few minutes into her little game, a white head poked itself into the room.
“Are you feeling alright?” Rarity asked, looking at her friend with sympathy.
Fluttershy nodded. “How about the others…? How are they holding up?”
Rarity grimaced. “Well, Pinkie Pie has been talking with that… thing, just about nonstop. Applejack still hasn’t woken up yet- I think she might have hit her head a wee bit harder on the floor than we’d expected. Scootaloo and the others are outside playing; Scoots and Applebloom are pretty much fine with it, but I’m surprised Sweetie didn’t react much like Applejack did…”
“Where… did it come from?”
Rarity came all the way in the room, shaking her head softly. “Your guess is as good as mine, dear.” She closed the door behind her. “I heard from Applejack what happened with Dash at the demonstration. I can’t figure it out for the life of me, how something like this could have happened…”
“I had no idea mechanical appliances could talk…”
“Nor did I,” she admitted. “Apparently Pinkie Pie did, though she’s always been… special like that.”
Just then, something crashed into the closed window by Fluttershy’s head. Rarity jumped a bit, and Fluttershy yelped and dove under the covers, shivering uncontrollably.
When Rarity went to the window to see what had flown into it, she smiled a bit in recognition. She opened the window, allowing the grey pegasus to enter.
“Oh, thank you, Rarity!”
“Not a problem, Miss Doo. What can I help you with?”
Derpy grinned as she always did, and Rarity couldn’t help but smile as well. The mailmare’s enthusiasm and happiness was rarely anything but catchy.
“I have a note for Miss Fluttershy… Dash told me she’d be here.” She started rooting around in her mailbag for the item that she was supposed to deliver.
A pair of wide eyes poked out from a gap between the covers and the mattress. They watched the situation intently. Even though Fluttershy knew who Derpy was, she was still a bit shocked at her sudden arrival.
Finally, Derpy found the letter and pulled it out. She laid it on the bedside table, then looked back at Rarity. “Is Fluttershy not here?”
“Oh she is,” Rarity replied. “She’s just a bit, well…” She pointed to underneath the covers.
Derpy looked where she was pointing. “Oh, did I scare you, Fluttershy?”
A tiny voice came from under the covers: “Well, yes… It was rather sudden and unexpected… That’s okay though…”
“Heh, sorry ‘bout that… Anyways, I just wanted to deliver that letter to you from Rainbow Dash. She said to get it to you as soon as I could.” She looked at Rarity. “Thanks for the sock , by the way!”
Rarity just nodded and smiled tightly. She didn’t really want to be reminded of her creation for Derpy, as it was undoubtedly the oddest creation that she’d ever come up with, and if anyone ever found out about it, aside from the ones who already knew… Well, who knows what they would think?
Derpy smiled once more, then turned to leave. “Bye, Rarity! Bye, Fluttershy! See you later!” She rose up into the air, but hovered in place for a moment.
“Um…?” came Fluttershy’s voice from under the covers. “Is there… anything else we can help you with?”
Derpy landed and turned to face them. “Well, I was curious about something… I was at Rainbow Dash’s demonstration today- you know, the one for Spitfire and the Crusaders… Anyways, whatever happened with Dash at the end? She had something in her hooves, and I couldn’t quite make out what it was…”
“Oh, that? Well, it was… A toaster, actually.”
Derpy looked at her a bit confused, her left eye going a bit askew. “A toaster? But why on earth would Dash need one of those during a demonstration?”
“She wouldn’t, and she didn’t. It sort of just… appeared.”
“Like, out of nowhere?” Derpy asked. Rarity nodded.
“Wow… I’ve never heard of anything like that happening before… Then again, I really don’t get out much, except to do my mailmare duties.”
“Well, as far as anyone can tell, it really doesn’t happen. Not any time that gets recorded, anyways. It just… it makes no sense…”
“Could the Sonic Rainboom have caused it?”
Rarity was about to respond when something stopped her. Derpy actually had a point. No one knew exactly what kind of chemical reaction came about when a Sonic Rainboom occurred. It was entirely possible that something had happened to spawn the talking toaster from out of nowhere.
Thankfully for the fashionista, Fluttershy responded: “Um, I’ve been doing a bit of reading on Sonic Rainbooms, and well… there’s really not all that much information on them, seeing as I think only two ponies have ever managed to do one. So there’s no telling what it could have resulted in.” She raised up and shook the covers off of herself, fully uncovering her yellow coat.
“Hmm…” Derpy mumbled thoughtfully. “Okay, well I guess that’s really all I need to know- oh wait! There’s one other thing!” She turned to Rarity. “Did you get Vinyl’s dress done yet?”
Rarity was grateful for the reminder. “Oh yes, as a matter of fact, I did. If you want to, she and you can come pick it up tomorrow. When is your date at Mare on the Moon?”
“Tomorrow night, so that’ll be perfect!” She let out an excited squeak. “I can’t wait to see her in that dress! She’s gonna look so beautiful!” Without even realizing it, her wings were already extending and beginning to flap, taking her out of the window.
“Oh… I guess that’s my cue to go. Bye now!” She flew away, fastening the clip on her mailbag as she went along her path.
Fluttershy sighed after Derpy had left, and settled back down onto the bed. “Things just are never going to be normal around here, are they…?”
“I’m afraid not, dear. Not with our friends still in our lives.” She turned to leave, but stopped when she noticed something in the room that she hadn’t noticed before. “Say, Fluttershy… Where did Applejack get that electric blanket from?”
“Oh, that? I got that for her from a yard sale. I figured she could use it when the winter months come along, her and Pinkie Pie both.”
Rarity smiled. “That’s so thoughtful of you. Do you want to come down and help with the finishing-up of dinner preparations?” Fluttershy nodded, and hopped down off the bed.
“Just as long as that toaster doesn’t talk to me… It scares me.”
My (Brave) Little Toaster
Hoof-falls could be heard on the stairs, as Rarity and Fluttershy made their way back down to the downstairs portion of Applejack’s house. They were both quiet as they walked; Fluttershy was deep in thought about how the talking toaster would react to her, and Rarity was being silent simply out of respect for her friend.
As they reached the bottom of the stairs, Fluttershy suddenly stopped and reversed course, heading back up to the room.
“Fluttershy?” Rarity asked questioningly. “What’s the matter? Are you really that afraid of the toaster?”
“What?” Fluttershy asked in response. “Oh, no, that’s not it at all… I’m just going up to get that electric blanket. They don’t know I got it for them, and I want to surprise them with it at dinner.”
“Ah.” Rarity stopped at the bottom of the stairs. “Then I will wait for you here.” As Fluttershy ascended the stairs, a bit of a commotion could be heard from the kitchen. Rarity immediately recognized the source of the raised voice, what with it belonging to her sister and all.
“Sweetie Belle!” Rarity hollered, “What on earth is going on in there?”
“Nothing, sis!” came Sweetie’s response. “Scootaloo just wants to play the PonyStation, and-“
“Let me guess: you don’t want to give it up…”
“I didn’t at first, but I changed my mind. She’s playing it now.” Rarity smiled; they were both such good friends, much how she and Rainbow Dash were.
“Is everyone in there ready for dinner?” Rarity asked, as Fluttershy came down the stairs, balancing the blanket on her back. “Oh, here, let me get that.” Rarity levitated the blanket, still wrapped up, over to her using her magic.
“Oh… thank you…” Fluttershy said in her usual soft tone. “Though I think I could have gotten it myself… It really isn’t that heavy…”
“I didn’t think it was, darling. I just wanted to help, is all.” Fluttershy looked into Rarity’s eyes and got lost in them for a moment. She could tell that her friend was telling the truth, but more than that… to her, Rarity had the most beautiful eyes ever. She could never tell her that, though. What on earth would she say? They’d been friends for so long that-
Fluttershy barely noticed when something landed on her forehead with a soft “pomf”. What she did notice, though, was Rarity’s slightly odd expression.
“Are you alright?” she asked softly.
“Oh, don’t worry about me, I’m fine. It’s just that…”
“Just that what?”
Rarity was about to respond to that, when she saw Pinkie Pie at the top of the stairs. She had a coy smile crossing her face. What in Equestria is she smiling about? Rarity thought to herself. When she finally figured it out, though, she had to resist the urge to face-hoof. It’s probably Pinkie’s fault that it’s on Fluttershy’s head to begin with… She probably put it there somehow.
“Um, Rarity…”
Rarity snapped back to the present. “Oh, it’s nothing. I just thought I saw Pinkie Pie upstairs.” Fluttershy looked back towards the stairs, then returned her gaze to Rarity.
“She isn’t up there now… I thought she was in the kitchen anyways. Shouldn’t we have seen her if she’d have walked past us to get up there?”
Rarity had to admit, her friend had a point. Then again, though, there were quite a few things that Pinkie had done over the years, that no sane pony would even come close to calling normal. There was the incident where a million Pinkies were running around everywhere (though, granted, that was more the fault of the wishing pond than anything else), the time when Pinkie was zooming through the air then simply stopped on a dime and floated there for quite a good bit of time…
Nopony could say what the forces were that occupied the driver’s seat of Pinkie’s mind, so anything really could happen.
“Come now,” Rarity said finally, “there’s really nothing to worry about, anyways. It was probably just me seeing things.” Fluttershy nodded tentatively, and the two continued their trek into the kitchen.
When they entered into the kitchen, Fluttershy turned her head towards Applejack and was about to say something to her, when a lithe pink-furred form streaked across the kitchen and tackled Fluttershy to the floor in a giant hug.
“Eep!” Fluttershy exclaimed as she found Pinkie on top of her. “What…? What was that for…”
“Oh, it was so awful! You and Rarity were gone for so long, I thought you were never coming back! I mean, yeah, I saw you two when I went upstairs to get one of Scootaloo’s PSP games-“
“So you were up there?!” Rarity asked in disbelief.
“-But still, I missed you so much!” She turned to Rarity. “Oh, and you too!” She acted like she was about to go and do the same thing to Rarity that she did to Fluttershy, but Rarity stopped her with the raise of a hoof.
“That’s quite alright, Pinkie. There’s no need to-“ At that point, Pinkie- totally not heeding Rarity’s advice- leaped off of Fluttershy’s chest and tackle-hugged Rarity to the ground as well.
“I thought I told you not to do that!” Rarity sputtered as she tried to get the pink pony off of her chest.
“Well, technically, you never told me not to do anything. So, I figured it was ok!”
“Of course, I never told you anything. You never- oof!- gave me the chance to! You just tackled me to the ground before I even had the chance to finish my sentence!”
Pinkie giggled. “Rarity, you’re so silly!”
Amidst all the ruckus, nopony could have heard an upstairs door open, nor the hoofsteps that had subsequently echoed from the pony walking down the stairs. Everypony heard, though, the thing that came next.
“Could somepony please tell me what in tarnation is goin’ on here…? Y’all are makin’ more noise than a rusty locomotive…”
Pinkie looked up and squee’d in delight. “Apple bun! You’re awake!” She got off of Rarity’s chest with a quickness and ran over to her marefriend, hugging her tightly around the neck.
Rarity and Fluttershy looked at each other, trying their absolute hardest not to laugh hysterically as they both picked themselves up off the floor. “Apple bun…?” Rarity mouthed as she steadied herself. Fluttershy simply shrugged in response.
“Ah thought Ah told you not to use our pet names for each other around the others…” Applejack murmured, plainly trying to say it without Rarity and Fluttershy hearing her. It didn’t work.
“You totally did, didn’t you?” Pinkie asked in shock, as though she had forgotten completely and totally about Applejack ever telling her that in the first place. “I’m sorry…!”
“It’s fine,” Applejack replied with a wave of her hoof. As she did so, she grimaced in pain and raised the same hoof to the side of her head. “Oh man… My head is killin’ me… What happened?”
“You hit your head pretty hard…” Fluttershy replied softly, having recovered her composure. “You fainted when that toaster started talking.”
An odd look came over Applejack’s face. “So… you mean to tell me that wasn’t a dream?”
“Nope!” Pinkie exclaimed. “It’s very real! In fact, the toaster is on Fluttershy’s head right now! I put it there earlier!” She beamed brightly, as though she considered this to be a high accomplishment.
“Oh, so that’s what was on my head earlier?” Fluttershy asked, looking at Rarity. “Wait…” Her face paled a bit. “It was… on my head… And nopony told me about it?”
“Well, I was going to…” Rarity said a bit sheepishly, “but-“
“Wait a second,” Applejack interrupted. “You said you put it on her head earlier, right?” Pinkie nodded. “Meaning, before you tackled her to the ground like I assume you did to Rarity, too?” She nodded again.
“So then… how is it still on her head? Shouldn’t it have flown off when she got tackled?”
The toaster spoke at that point: “I have really good balance!” Applejack visibly cringed when she heard the toaster’s voice, but to her credit she didn’t faint again.
Just then, another voice could be heard from somewhere in the room: “Um, Toaster…? Is that you…?” The voice was very child-like, which caused the other ponies to think it was Fluttershy who’d said it. When they looked to her, though, she indicated that it wasn’t her who had said it.
Just then, the electric blanket rose up into the air, revealing that it too had a face. It was smiling.
“Blanky!” Toaster said, grinning widely.
Applejack let a very un-fillylike word escape her lips. “You have got to be kiddin’ me…”