In polite pony society, there were things one tried to avoid talking about. These included a pony’s weight, how weird it is that everypony’s name usually ended up predicting their personality and job, and the extensive and elaborate planning that went into every musical number, such as the one Twilight was preparing for now. Ponies were taught to act as though breaking into song just happens, and isn’t the product of musicians, lyricists, and a myriad of other performers. But all this was seen as essential, for what better way to spread the word to everypony?

Earlier that night, Twilight had met with Octavia and Vinyl, finalizing every detail. She had saved a ton of bits by recycling the same melody as the last big song they had all performed about the Grand Galloping Gala, so it was just a matter of tweaking the lyrics.

As Twilight entered the ballroom of the Gala with her friends, she gave a nod to Octavia. As was standard practice in these situations, everything was set up just right so an outside observer would see it as spontaneous. Unbeknownst to Twilight, Celestia was just such an observer, watching silently, confused, from the balcony far above, as Twilight gave her opening line…

(To the tune of At the Gala)

Twilight Sparkle: I can't believe it’s finally time. For the good of Celestia and Equestria, the horniness of this gala is sure to make this... The Best Orgy Ever!

[Twilight Sparkle]
At the Orgy!

[Choir]
At the Orgy!

[Fluttershy]
At the Orgy,
In the fuckpit
I’m going to bang them all
All the creatures
I’ll sodomize them at the Orgy

[Choir]
At the Orgy

[Fluttershy]
All the griffons
And the bears too
They will take my magic schlong
We’ll get all Eyes Wide Shut up in here
Right here at the Orgy!

[Choir, clearly stunned by Fluttershy]
All…her dreams will come true
Right here at the Orgy
At the Orgy

[Applejack]
At the Orgy (It's amazing)
I will fuck one (Better hurry)
Just a regular stallion (Big dick)
Horny ponies (They'll be watching)
They will see me (Bring a camera)
See my pussy, apple-sweet (Get some)
And I'll get off to being ogled
while they’re fucking me!

[Choir, visibly relieved at Applejack’s far more reasonable sexual goals]
All our creams and our ropes from now until hereafter
All that we've been gushing for will happen at the Orgy
At the Orgy

[Rarity]
At the Orgy
All the royals
They will meat fair Rarity
They will see I'm just as anal at the Orgy

[Choir]
At the Orgy

[Rarity]
I will find them
Some group action
And how virile they will be
They will take me from both ends
Tonight at the Orgy!

[Choir]
This is what we’ve concluded will fix our Celestia
Each of us will fuck a ton
Tonight at the Orgy
At the Orgy

[Rainbow Dash]
Been dreamin'
I've been waitin'
To eat out a dozen ponies
The princesses, the guests, the staff
Spin ‘em 'round and have some licks
Hoofbang crowds of thousands
They'll shower us with mare cum
Everypony will eat me right here at the Orgy!

[Choir]
All we've longed for
All we've dreamed
Our princess finding pleasure
Finally will all come true
Right here at the Grand Orgy
At the Orgy

[Pinkie Pie]
I am here at the Grand Orgy
For a messy bukkake
And the target for that semen will be the face of me, Pinkie
For I am the best at blowing, all the ponies will agree
Ponies jacking
Ponies cumming
On me at the Grand Orgy!

[Choir]
A penis and all its cum at the Orgy
At the Orgy

[Twilight Sparkle]
At the Orgy (At the Orgy)
With the Princess (With the Princess)
Is where I'm going to be (She will be)
We will work through all her issues and help her now to see (She will see)
It is going to be so special
And maybe she’ll decide she wants me (This will be the best orgy ever!)

[Choir]
Into the Orgy we must go
We're ready now, we're all aglow
Into the Orgy, let's go in and have the best sex ever
Into the Orgy, now's the time
Our princess’s brain will be just fine!

[Choir and Fluttershy]
Into the Orgy

[Fluttershy]
Fuck new friends

[Choir and Applejack]
Into the Orgy

[Applejack]
Ride some horse cock

[Choir and Rarity]
Into the Orgy

[Rarity]
Take two dicks

[Choir and Rainbow Dash]
Eat out mares

[Rainbow Dash]
And a Wonderbolt too

Fluttershy: To fuck!
Applejack: To ride!
Rarity: To bang!
Rainbow Dash: To hoof!
Pinkie Pie: To gulp!
Twilight Sparkle: To fix!

[All]
Into the Orgy
Into the Orgy
And we'll have the best sex ever!
At the Orgy!

With the finale of the song fading, Twilight was beaming with pride. While the song covered the crescendo of the night, it wasn’t how the evening was to start. She unfurled her planning scroll again and reviewed the dozens of stations and situations that would be orchestrated to carefully and incrementally expose Celestia to sexuality in a controlled way, monitoring her reactions, and proceeding through the 996 node flow chart that was the evening’s plan. As she tapped her hoof on the rounded rectangle labeled “START: Arrival of Celestia”, she didn’t notice her friends’ faces going ashen as their gaze craned upward toward the balcony.

Applejack was the first to speak. “Uh, Twi, you said you have a lot of backup ideas and stuff in that plan of yours, right?”

“Of course, once Celestia arrives, I have contingencies for every possibility!”

Rainbow Dash added, “so, like, if Celestia heard that whole song, you’d know what to do, right?”

“Well, I don’t have that contingency. But relax, Luna is taking care of her, so we should have another fifteen minutes to get ready.”

Pinkie Pie nervously piped up. “But if she were staring at us right now with her pupils all tiny like little needles and not moving at all, I know you’d totally know what to do! …right?”

Twilight got a chill as she looked up from her scroll at her friends. As Fluttershy did her best to bury herself in a nearby potted plant, Rarity simply raised a hoof to point. Twilight followed her gesture, and locked eyes with Celestia, standing rigid, mouth agape, eyes wide, atop the royal balcony. Behind her, Luna waved, shrugged, and silently mouthed “what now?”

Twilight froze. Everything about her plan hinged on incrementalism, with a possible “nightmare transformation” scheduled for the end of the night, after she had plenty of data on Celestia to go on. Now, here she was, locked in a staring contest with her mentor, who looked more like a spooked animal than the ruler of Equestria, and as everypony looked to her, she had no idea what to do. That said, she did know one thing. Leaders must project confidence!

“Okay. I have a plan. I know exactly what to do,” said Twilight, with as much synthetic calm as she could force into her voice. She had nothing. She eyed the grand staircase that led to the hallway that led to the balcony.

“Stay close,” she continued. Celestia remained motionless, completely frozen. Twilight took a step toward the stairs, eyeing Celestia for any reaction. There was none.

“Stay close,” she said again, and her friends followed, stepping cautiously forward with her.

“I know. Do exactly as I say, ” said Twilight, as they approached the stairs. Her mind raced, hoping for an actual plan to emerge.

Celestia’s eyes stayed locked on Twilight’s, and she finally took just one step backward. Twilight and her friends froze.

“Get ready…” said Twilight. The rest of the six looked at each other. Ready for what? Twilight still had no idea, but she seemed so confident.

“GET HER!”

Author's Note

5 points if you spot the movie reference in this one.

Also, don't worry, everybody is gonna be fine, everything is gonna be cool.