GOD DAMN PONIES (not a trollfic or hate)

Chapter 2: GOD DAMN PONIES

  Granny Smith was enjoying an afternoon on her rocking chair. The Sun in the sky was high, Applejack and Big Macintosh where working in the fields, and Apple Bloom was off with her friends. Finally, she could enjoy some peace and quiet. Just when her eyes closed for a 3 hour nap, a sonic boom like noise could be heard. This caused Granny Smith to jump up and scuttle outside to tell Applejack to tell a certain rainbow-haired pegasus to go fly somewhere else, so she could sleep. But when she got outside, there was a crater near the barn with a weird monkey-like thing laying face first in the middle.

  Applejack, Big Mac, and Apple Bloom where already surrounding the crater, asking the same question Granny Smith was asking herself. What is that thing? "Granny, do yah have any idea what that thing is?" asked Applejack. Granny Smith looked at the odd thing, crouched down, poked it, poked it again, and then stood back up. "Well ah don' know, mehbe it's some sort o' new monkey species thing er somethin', because ah haven't seen anything like it...." Granny Smith muttered in confusement.

                                                     Just then, the odd monkey thing opened its eyes, slowly.

   Richard felt like he hit the ground at speeds greater than 800 miles per hour. His head hurt like hell, and he didn't feel like getting up anytime soon because of the pain, but to his misfortune, he opened his eyes. Then he saw the ponies. "What the fuck is this?" he said, not realizing where he was. "What the hell are you?" he asked Granny Smith. "Ah'm a po-"

"PONY?!" "Well, ye-" "A FUCKING PONY?" "Ye-" "I'M IN FUCKING MY LITTLE PONY!" Then poor Richard passed out, mostly out of hatred, shock, and confusion. "He owns a pony?" said Applejack.

  Granny Smith was wondering what the hell just happened. The same goes on for rest of the southern family. Since they assumed he passed out, they put him in the guest room they had, and put him on the bed. About 2 hours later, it was supper time and Richard was just waking up. "Oh man... I had the craziest dream..." Richard muttered, closing his eyes and rubbing his head. "What was it about?" Granny Smith asked. Not knowing it was Granny Smith ( a pony ) and thinking it was his grandma. Still oblivious, Richard said "I had a dream about these.... ponies..." "Well, it wasn't no dream." Granny Smith said, smiling. Just then, Richard opened his eyes in realization.  "What the fu-" "You woke up just in tah'm fer supper! We're havin' mashed taters, green beans, biscuits, and apple pie!" Richard was hungry, and he forgot that he was in magical pony land. "Apple pie you say?" Richard said. "Yesserie!" said ol' Granny Smith. Then Granny led Richard the the dining room.

   What Richard saw was beautiful. There was a lot more than what Granny Smith had said there was, and Richard probably completely forgot what world he was in. He then ignored everyone and chowed down, without a care in the world. Several moments later, he was done chowing down, just as everyone stared at him. "Well Ah'll be! I ain't seen nopony eat that fast before!" Granny Smith said, chuckling. "Yeah, your right Granny, I ain't seen nopony eat that fast before, too!" Applejack added. "Eeyup." said Big Mac. "Do it again! Do it again!" piped up Applebloom. Richard then snapped out of his hungry daze. He realized he was making... (pause for a moment, let the drama sink in....) FRIENDS.... WITH FUCKING MY LITTLE PONIES!