A Comedy of Terrors

Discord stood in the town square of Ponyville, the six magical friends - all reverted to the prime of their youth - around him. He hung his head before Celestia. "Yes, Princess, I'm ready to use my magic for good instead of evil... most of the time."

Princess Celestia warmly smiled in return. "Congratulations on your success, ponies. I definitely sense a big change in Discord." She turned to Twilight and craned her neck down to her level. "I'll leave the Elements of Harmony with you, Twilight. Just in case."

Twilight beamed. "You were right when you said Fluttershy would be the one to find the way to reform Discord. By treating Discord as a friend, she got him to realize that friendship was actually important to him. And something that, once he had, he didn't want to lose."

Fluttershy looked up to Discord. "Go on. Say it..."

Discord groaned. "Alright... Friendshipismagic." He rushed through the sentence as quickly as he could.

Fluttershy giggled and held his hand in her hoof. "See? He can be a real sweetheart once you get to know him."

~ ~ ~

"AAAAAAH!" Discord tore away from the heinous nightmare, waking up in cold sweat.

When Discord opened his eyes, the darkness around him was more severe than when he was asleep. Each of his four limbs were tightly tied together by some squishy rope-like substance that sapped his chaos energy every second. His tail dragged along the ground and the structure that kept him off the floor bobbed up and down awkwardly. When his ears awoke he could hear hoofsteps, the snoring of one Princess Luna, and some horrible unintelligible alien chatter from all directions.

The powerless god's eyes began adjusting to the dark, and he could see silhouettes of many pony-like creatures carrying a complex structure of odd-looking sticks.

He could also see Luna's royal plot right in his face.

Creatures popped out from behind stones and stared at Discord before slowly going back down. As the trail stretched on, Discord felt the terrain was changing in its texture and shape. He no longer felt the individual grains of dirt scuffing along his draconic tail, but instead the ground now felt moist, sticky and absolutely unnatural.

Discord blinked and looked past the sleeping pony before him, and saw a dim green light at the end of the tunnel.

Of course, it is typical for there to be a light at the end of any tunnel. And any reasonable draconequus knows that this light can only signal good and those schmucks in the hospital are telling you to come back just because they're jealous. However, this light had something off about it. If Discord had any capacity for dread, his chest would be full of it.

"Discord..." Nightmare Moon whispered as they drew closer to the light. He could barely hear her over all the noise.

"Yeah?" He returned in a hushed tone. "What do you want, I was napping!"

"If I remember correctly, we were ponynapped by the changelings before we awoke here, right?" She asked.

"That's right, genius. I guess we at least have that going for us."

The shadow and the beast braced themselves for what was behind the light. When they passed through, it surpassed any expectation or image they had of the Changeling Hive.

It was obviously deep underground, because there was a colossal, egg-shaped dome serving as the hive's ceiling. It was composed of a sleek black substance with little changeling holes and glowing green veins running along it, pumping massive quantities of who-knows-what through the hive and illuminating the buildings of the hive. Thousands of the hideous bug-ponies buzzed through the air and trotted along the ground, some stopping to stare at her and Discord, their captives. The light was much better in here, and Nightmare Moon was shocked to see the hive up close. It was built with the same material as the walls, nearly every window or other structural orifice was beaming with green light, and it had very pointed, angular design changes. But even with all these differences, Discord and Nightmare Moon knew exactly what it was.

The Hive was Canterlot.

The placement of the buildings matched up, and there were street lamps along the black road. Discord even spotted a stand-in for the Golden Apple tree. It was a sickly, knotted arbor that twisted and writhed in its black soil, and underneath the bark Discord saw the same glowing slime that pulsed through the walls. What he assumed were two tiny changeling foals played beneath around the fallen black apples.

Nightmare Moon was disturbed and intrigued by this place. She was snaking and winding her shadowy form around the roads, trying to get a better look at the Hive, when suddenly it hit her. She knew where the changelings were taking her. She turned her eyes to look forward and there, up on an unnaturally sharp and symmetrical hill, was Canterlot Castle.

It was a dull and pointed one all in black and green, but it was the castle she knew nonetheless.

"Discord! What are we going to do about the Changeling queen?" She whispered over the chatter of infinite changelings.

"No clue. How about we improvise?"

"Let me just make it clear to you, Discord, that you are absolutely no help at all."

~~~

Princess Celestia sat on the bed in Twilight's loft above the library. She rubbed her temples and took a long swig from a bottle of hard cider. Two royal guards stood before her with papers detailing the events of the past day.

"Alright, alright, alright. I'm going to repeat what you just told me, and you tell me if I've left anything out. Discord was somehow freed a few hours after I left for Ponyville. He kidnapped Luna, beat up a gardener, and Prince Blueblood is nowhere to be found. Shortly afterward, somepony calling themself 'Dennis' commandeered a hot-air balloon in Las Pegasus, with a suitcase containing one Princess Luna of Equestria. Now Discord, Luna and the hot-air balloon in question are nowhere to be found. There, is that it?"

The guards exchanged glances.

"Actually, your highness, you left out the part about the two police officers roughing up the little sister of Applejack, Element of Honesty."

Celestia cringed and downed the rest of the cider. "Ungh... get me through this, Flam."

"Princess, you are talking to a bottle of Flam's Hard Cider. The actual Flam lives in Manehattan, not on that bottle." The second royal guard said.

Celestia groaned. "Thank you."

"It is my honor!" He said with a smiling salute as Celestia chugged the rest of the bottle. She tossed it into the trash with the others, and got up from the bed.

"Get my bag. The big bag. In the chariot." She said drolly whilst looking out the window. About a minute later, three guards hauled a large, ornate suitcase into the room. Celestia lifted it onto Twilight's bed with one hoof, snapped it open, and smiled ever so wickedly at the contents.

"Princess... is that armor?" A guard asked.

Inside the trunk was a suit of armor not dissimilar to that of Nightmare Moon's, but in gold. The princess offered an explanation as she put it on piece by piece.

"Yes, that it is. You see, Mr. Shield, when my little sister decided to turn on Equestria, I was weak. I was weak because when Luna and I took the nation's helm, Equestria had been at peace for many centuries. So when she rose up with the added power of whatever horrible demon influenced her, I was going to be defeated. And because of my own weakness, my little sister spent a thousand years lost on the moon. Because of my weakness, many generations of Equestrians never knew her beautiful night." She sighed. "I wanted to make sure that I never made that mistake again. So I spent the next thousand years using whatever free time I had to train myself to become the ultimate warrior. I subjected myself to punishment no sane pony would tolerate in my efforts to serve Equestria in all ways I could. I wanted to be able to protect my country and my sister, so that no harm would ever come to them again."

One of the guards spoke up. "But Princess, my father told me that the changelings overpowered you at the wedding of Shining Armor and Princess Cadence. What about that?"

The princess smiled. "That was different. The changelings leeched the power of Equestria's, and most notably, Shining Armor's, love to use against me. While I am powerful beyond comprehension, I will always be less so than the power of love."

A pegasus guard in the back pretended to gag, and an Earth pony guard stifled a giggle.

"And now, Discord has risen again. Since Luna never did get a good grip on her emotions, he might have been able to coax Nightmare Moon out of her, too. To save the world, I have no choice but to stop him before the situation worsens." The princess finished donning the armor and stood up, gleaming like a beacon of war. A guard cleared his throat and nervously shuffled up to Celestia.

"Erm, Princess, would you require any reinforcements on this mission?" He asked.

Celestia shook her head no. "I wrestled this land out of that mad king's claws a thousand years ago, and I'll do it again today." She clanked downstairs in the heavy armor.

"Good morning, Celestia!" Called Shining Armor from the dining room.

"Can't talk now, gotta go kill Discord." Was her short reply.

"Oh, um, uh, um... okay." He responded as she shot through the window in a blaze of solar light.

~ ~ ~

The changelings carried Discord and Nightmare Moon through the winding corridors of their castle, and dropped them down in the center of the throne room. They slipped them off the sticks, but left them bound as they scurried away. Lying on the ground, Discord shuffled around to face the throne. It was shrouded in darkness, but Discord could clearly see the changeling queen. She breathed loudly, seemingly a very labored task for her.

"In all my years... I'd never expect to see you in person, draconequus." She said in a trembling monotone. The queen stepped down from her black throne, and Discord was surprised to see the frail, pale creature that once was the Changeling Queen. She moved without purpose toward him. "What, don't care for the new look? I admit, I've let myself go... well, go even further, because how far down can a mangled bug go?" She asked wistfully to herself.

"I'm sorry, but have we met? I don't think we've been formally introduced." Discord asked. The Changeling Queen spun around to face him.

"I am Chrysalis, queen of the Changelings. In the years I've lived, I've come to know that you are the mad, fallen lord of the entire world, who once drowned the Earth in chaos. With you is Princess Luna, and from the hate I sense around her, you've got a third among you." She said without emotion.

"Welp, you got us. But if anypony asks, I'm Dennis." Discord returned as Nightmare Moon groaned as loud as she could. This clearly startled the Changeling Queen, and she pointed at Luna.

"Did that shadow just growl?" She asked. Discord stood up, his hands still bound.

"Yep, that it did. Say hello to Princess Luna's resident grump, Nightmare Moon."

Chrysalis raised an eyebrow. "Nightmare Moon? But I thought that she was vanquished forever by those useless Elements of Harmony."

"At least I wasn't off-hoofedly blasted to kingdom come by a pair of newlyweds." She growled in return.

Chrysalis's muzzle scrunched up in fluster. "Alright, never mind that. Now, I've been meaning to ask, what in Equestria would bring an ancient demon of chaos, a sleeping Princess of the Night, and a chained-up ghost of the night to my humble abode?"

Discord cleared his throat. "Well, we'd planned on running a campaign to overthrow Celestia and return the nation to its glorious, chaotic natural form." He smiled. "Of course I can't do this with only the help of a sweet little princess's imaginary friend, and since just about everyone else on our list is dead, we came seeking the help of you changelings. We know how sneaky you all are, and as you can see, Moony and I don't really have the 'sneaky factor' working for us."

Chrysalis smirked. "Well, I'm flattered that you celebrities came looking for the help of little old me, but there's a question that's just prying at my mind: would it benefit me more to assist you in your doomed little conquest, or simply put you two up in webs and feed my little changelings off the arcane magics of chaos and shadow until I cast your husks into the feeding frenzy of my empire?"

Discord twiddled his mismatched thumbs in thought. "Now, that's a good one. Oh, for the love of Chancellor Puddinghead, I can never think up answers to these things! Moony, you try. Why would it be better for our good friend Chrysalis to join in our crusade than to let her horde suck us dry?"

"I hate you," echoed Nightmare Moon.

"I'm waiting for an answer..." Chrysalis was already imagining what chaos magic would taste like.

"Alright, fine!" The shadow barked. "If you stand with us, you'll have a second chance to get everything you had aimed for, everything you failed to achieve, when you tried to take Canterlot. You could torture Cadence and Shining Armor - since the two of us have no use for them - and you could sustain your hive indefinitely once we can do away with the Elements of Harmony."

Discord grinned as he coiled himself around the queen, and pried her eyelids as open as far as they'd go with his bound hands.

"Just picture it, Chrysalis. The entire world clouded in a state of eternal night, the laws of reality tearing themselves asunder as the stupid little ponies of Equestria run around helpless and wonder why their Celestia deserted them. There will be no peace, there will be no happiness! All that will be is darkness, chaos, and deceit. Your hive will grow exponentially! In fact, there'll be so many changelings, you won't need a hive. The world will be your hive!"

"The whole world..." Chrysalis was so enthralled with the vision that she neglected to shake the draconequus off of her. At least, she neglected to for the next few seconds.

When Discord was done complaining about the bite marks, he cleared his throat again. "Well, we're sorry for wasting your time," he said, holding his arms out to the queen, "just hang us up in some of those cocoons and pump eons worth of the two most feared dark magics into yourself and your minions. Hey, maybe along with the horrible mutations, it could have some good side effects when the Royal Guard break down your door looking for little Luna there."

The Changeling Queen audibly gulped. She hadn't considered that Celestia would come looking for Luna.

"A-and, how can you guarantee that this will work?" She asked Discord with worry. In the silence of the throne room, the draconequus leaned in on her with a smirk.

"Things not working never stopped me," he responded. "All we are is three failures with nothing left to lose and a whole lot to gain. Now are you with us, or what?"

Queen Chrysalis was silent for a long time. She turned around and masked herself in the shadow, mumbling her thoughts to herself. Eventually she sighed, and the binds on Discord and Luna disintegrated.

Filled with excitement, Discord shot up into the air, fireworks popping out of nowhere and illuminating the chitinous castle. He began doing the moonwalk upside down whilst reciting the Royal Decree of 205 A.B., in reverse. However, he was cut off when the clop of a dark navy hoof on his face sent him flying.

**"DISCORD, THOU FOUL BEAST! THOU...* hast..."* Luna's voice trailed off as she soaked in her surroundings. They were completely foreign. Though aside from Discord, there was one other thing she recognized: her shadow. It seemed to move on its own, twisting and turning in the dark. It stared back at her. Luna thought it looked like a mare... a nightmare.

"NIGHTMARE MOON!" She screeched. Her horn illuminated with magic as she blasted beams of light at the shadow, Nightmare Moon dodging them all. "CEASE THY EVASION! ACCEPT THY FATE FOR THY TRESPASSES! THOU SHALT TASTE THE POWER OF LIGHT MAGIC AND BE DEST- mmph!" Luna was unable to continue. When Discord looked up to see why, he found himself gaping in awe. Chrysalis held Luna in her arms high in the air, lips sealed in, what was for Chrysalis, a passionate kiss.

Luna's eyes darted around the chamber, and she found herself unable to resist as her wings unfolded to their full span. Nightmare Moon looked on with wide eyes, blushing as profoundly as a shadow could. Almost three minutes later, Luna's eyes closed, and the Changeling Queen buzzed back down to the ground. She slung the snoozing alicorn onto her back, where she yawned, wearing the smile of one in a pleasant dream. Chrysalis nuzzled her mane, and then walked slowly forward to the back of the chamber.

"Come with me." She whispered.

Nightmare Moon and Discord exchanged awkward glances before the draconequus shuffled to keep up.

~ ~ ~

Fully geared up in battle armor, Celestia soared as fast as she could through the sky. Her ever-so-pretty wings shot her through the atmosphere at speeds unimaginable to even the strongest pegasus.

Since Luna's return, she had wanted to stay in communication with her at all times should anything bad ever happen to her little sister. So, she had placed an incantation on her that would allow her to pinpoint her at any moment. Closing her eyes, Celestia tracked her sister's position.

The first bad sign was the weak signal of chaos magic surrounding her.

The second one was that she was in the center of the Changeling Hive.

The third was the very questionable dream about Shining Armor and a decadent chocolate cake that she was having.

Celestia soared faster.