“I’m back! I came out from under the couch, you didn’t see me!”

“Pinkie, we do not have a couch. These are chairs we are sitting on. There is indeed a difference.”

“Whatever, the point is, the break ended, the show’s back, let’s get back to writing something sexy!”

“Quite right, my dear Pie. So, for those who just came in, I’m Discord, and my underlined assistant is Pinkie Pie. We’re in the middle of describing how to write a perfect clopfic, and we had finished outlining how to pick your characters. The bottom line was: Be original, and don’t be afraid to think differently. But now that you’ve got your characters and a scenario, you’re going to need to write the actual naughtiness. So, with that in mind, let’s go back to Applejack and Sombra once again.”

Step 2: The Actual Naughtiness

Applejack was lying on top of the Crystal King of Shadows, Sombra. Her beautifully sculpted crystal body was prepared to give Sombra a perfect affirmation of his return and victory.

“Now, you can just describe the basic action of what the two of them are doing, but that’s not entertaining enough. In case you forgot, the purpose of a clopfic is to clop. To make that easier for everyone involved, describe everything in incredible detail. And use euphemisms. Observe.”

Applejack gently stroked her hard crystal hoof against the soft chest of her King. “Now, ya’ll ready to get a second conquering done?” She gestured towards her haunches, spreading them apart to reveal her nether regions, dripping wet with excitement.

Sombra licked his lips at the opportunity arising. His rock-hard crystal member was also arising, growing long enough to meet his mare’s chest. Applejack lowered her head to the level of it’s head, giving it a soft, but firm lick. Her hooves and tongue continued to stroke and massage the Lord’s cock, and his face indicated his approval.

Not one to just give out oral to a stallion, the orange mare did what she did best: Riding. She placed herself in a sitting position on top of him, slowly sliding herself downwards on his dick as it penetrated her crystal barrier. Both thrusted and met each other’s bodies in their act of pure love.

But Sombra was not satisfied, not yet. He began increasing his speed, his crystal pickaxe continuously hammering away at the rock and stone that obstructed his path to the goal. Applejack, though she did not give permission for the increase, did not object. She moaned loudly in ecstasy, her body beginning to shake from the pleasure.

Both of them knew that the finishing act was coming, as both were. Both kept the pace going, wanting to prolong the moment before climax without sacrificing the moment. Sombra would not give up when he was so close, his body swelling with cum to be released into the mare, Applejack about to release herself onto his penis and surrounding areas.

When the time hit, it hit hard. Both yelled as they finished and Sombra blew his explosive to clear the rubble and reveal the diamond underneath. Exhausted from the act, Applejack was unable to remove herself from her position atop him, and he couldn’t use his magic to remove her. She collapsed, laying fully down on his black chest as she looked up into his eyes, hers half-closed, and she whispered.

“Ready for round two?”

“Now, since we don’t have the time for a full story, this is obviously far shorter than your story should be, but it should provide a pretty good base for all of you.”

“I liked how all the euphemisms you made were about mining. Kept everything connected.”

“Be thankful that I didn’t add crafting to that. It would not have ended well. Though I could have used a crafting table pretty easily. Using the materials mined, they crafted a beautiful experience and a good time. Oh, I can use that. I should use that. Let me write that one down.” Discord pulled out his reality-altering journal and wrote his idea down. “I’ll write a story about that at some point. Anyways, I think that we should move on to our next topic, probably my favorite part. One of the glorious things about sex is how different it can be for such a simple act. It can be done with lead-ups and foreplay, but can also bleed into the best part. Fetishes are to thank. Pinkie, would you care to explain?”

“Fetishes are sexual interests that people have. They vary in both content and obscurity, and everyone’s different. Nearly any of them would sound weird to an outsider, but when it’s the one you have, there is absolutely nothing sexier.”

“And thank you for that definition. So, it’s important to write it into our story.”

Step 3: Fetishes

“Trust me, a story is easily distinguishable from the piles of crap you people make when you add a fetish, preferably a unique one. And the best way to do that is to write for your fetish, because you’re doing this for yourself. Also, no one else shares your fetish, further cutting down your chances of attracting a mate. As if you needed the help.”

Discord had to stop talking for a moment to allow a scream from the distance to be heard loud and clear, a scream of terror bellowing “DOCTOR LIGHT DID NOT DESIGN ME WITH THIS IN MIND!”

“Sounds like Rarity’s having fun over there.”

“Yes, but it raises the question of how they’re doing anything over there. I guess Rarity has to experiment a little to get anything accomplish. Good thing I got rid of his magic, or that buster would go off at the wrong time. So, we were talking about fetish writing. I’ll get back on that.”

“You’re going to need to write descriptively, as I described in the last section. It’s fair to assume that not many readers are going to have or understand the fetish you’re writing about, so be sure to write every angle and action. As a bonus, for the people who do have it, it’s so much easier to clop to when it’s described and drawn out. Try to make readers come before the scene is over. Make them feel inadequate. So, we need a fetish to write an example story. Pinkie, what would you like to pick?”

“That’s going to be a problem, because between the two of us, we have pretty much every fetish. I particularly like food porn, but I think we should be fairer to the readers.”

“That sounds like a good idea, Pinkie. So it’s time to bring out the Wheel of Fetishes!” Discord pulled out a giant game show style wheel, each piece having a different fetish listed, with such listings as ‘Nurse’ and ‘Fire’. “Pinkie, would you like to spin the wheel?”

Pinkie Pie grabbed the side of the wheel, and spun it with all her strength. The clicks of the notches filled the non-existent room until it stopped on one of the slices. “And the winner is: Pee!”

“That sounds good, I can work with that pretty well. So we’re going to need some lovely mares to demonstrate. Flitter! Cloud Chaser! Get back in here!” The two mares walked back into view, their manes messed up. Or at least, Discord assumed Cloud Chaser’s mane was messy, it was hard to tell with her standard style. “From what I see, you two already finished? I hope you can handle a little more.” The sisters nodded. “Good, so I’ll handle the scene. Reader discretion, this is going to get messy, and some of you are not going to like it. I don’t care what you think, but it’s fair to let you know.”

“There. That one took long enough.”

Cloud Chaser was pleased that she had finally managed to dissolve one particularly large and annoying cloud. She sighed. Rainbow Dash had been particularly fierce recently about making sure the skies were clear where she specified exactly, and she could get mad at the tiniest little wisps that remained. Cloud Chaser and her sister had theorized that it was all due to some pent-up sexual frustration, but they couldn’t confirm it.

Cloud Chaser looked over at her sister, Flitter, who was just about done with the clouds she was working on. She took a minute to admire her sister, particularly her mane. Flitter’s was always so neat and organized, due to her actually caring about how she looked. In contrast, Cloud Chaser was content to just wake up and walk out the door. She had always been told that she was never going to get a stallion if she didn’t care about her appearances, but she didn’t care. She already got everything she wanted out of a relationship with her sister.

Both of them knew what they did was wrong. Society frowned upon incest for a number of reasons, mostly just pre-established notions of moral value that had no base. But they found it hard to care when they were lying together, rhythm going, thrusting, hoofing, and licking each other. Both would never give those experiences up.

Cloud Chaser noticed that Flitter was acting a little antsy and shaky, and went over to talk. “Hey, you almost done there? I’d like to go home soon. And why are you shaking like that?”

Flitter stopped her work. “I’m just about finished, and thank Celestia I am. I’ve really gotta pee,” she said, crossing her hind legs.

Cloud Chaser could feel herself growing a little warm at her sister’s predicament, and a simple solution for Flitter popped into her head, with the added benefit of immense enjoyment for her. “Well, if it’s really that bad, clouds are pretty absorbent. Just take your leak on the cloud.”

Flitter could tell why Cloud Chaser was suggesting it, and the thought of the relief it would bring became prevalent. However, unlike her sister, she did at least have a few standards. “I’m not peeing right out in the open like that! What if somepony flew by and saw? I’m just going to have to wait until we get home.”

Cloud Chaser shook her head. “Alright, if you insist. You’re probably going to want to finish up soon, then. Judging by the looks of it, you don’t have much time left.”

Flitter nodded and got back to work, though slowly, to be sure she didn’t have an accident. The two of them worked together to cut down on time. As much as Cloud Chaser would have liked to see her sister not make it, she didn’t want to embarrass her. Before long, their job for the day was finished, but Flitter’s predicament was becoming more urgent. She kept her hind legs tightly crossed and kept shaking.

The two sisters began flying back towards their cloud home, hovering fairly low above Ponyville. Flitter was none too happy about this, as the energy required to constantly flap her wings to stay airborne was taking its toll on her bladder. Before long, she had to fly in an upright position with her front hooves jammed in her privates.

Cloud Chaser could see that things were only getting worse for Flitter, and once again wanted to “help”, still determined to watch her sister perform such a private act out in the open. “I seriously don’t think that you’re going to make it back home. There’s some bushes down on the ground, just go in those. It sounds more appealing than getting it all over your legs because you’re too stubborn to accept a loss.”

Flitter, still remarkably tempted by the offer, refused. “N-no, I-I can hold it. I have to!” She doubted her abilities, but would test them to the end.

Cloud Chaser couldn’t believe her sister. Here she was, dying of desperation, and she still took the far more risky option. She knew that if she were the one in that scenario, she would just instantly get rid of the discomfort, not caring about who would see. She had nothing to hide from anypony, being far more open about what most would consider private matters.

The two of them arrived at their doorstep, and Flitter was sweating hard. She was in a constant struggle with herself, her body practically begging her to take care of her bodily functions.

After Cloud Chaser had taken what had seemed like an eternity opening the front door, Flitter went as fast as her pained body would let her towards the bathroom. She could feel herself beginning to cry as she also felt her hind legs and front hooves growing warm and wet. “No, please! Not now!” She pressed down harder to last just a little longer.

As she rushed into the bathroom, she didn’t have the time to be bothered to shut the door. Cloud Chaser took note of this, and walked in after about a minute. There were two things in the room of note. The first was the large yellow puddle right inside the room.

The second was her sister, eyes closed in relief, hind leg raised in the air, standing over the toilet, taking the longest and strongest pee she could remember. Cloud Chaser easily spotted the shiny streaks running down her sister’s legs, showing where she had wet herself. And despite how much she had lost before making it to the toilet, she was still standing there, doing her business for over a minute.

Due to the loud hissing of her pee and her mind lost in the pleasure, Flitter had not noticed her sister standing in the doorway, watching intently. When she had opened her eyes, she immediately attempted to hide her act, though she knew she would never be able to halt her stream. Though she had never understood why, against all the sex the two had, she never wanted Cloud Chaser to watch her do something like this. But it seemed she didn’t have a choice now.

Once she had finally finished, Cloud Chaser was quick to take up the opportunity to walk over, grab a square of toilet paper, and wipe her sister’s moist genitals. Flitter, though taken aback, did not object. “I can assume you’re going to want some fun tonight?” Cloud Chaser nodded. “Alright then. Can I just shower first? I’d like to get this smell off of me.”

“I’ve got an even better idea. How about I join you? After a long day of work, I could probably use a shower as well. Might as well save water and do it together.” Flitter turned the shower head on, warm water cascading down. Once she had fully entered the tub, Cloud Chaser joined her.

The night commenced, and concluded with Cloud Chaser’s four legs tied together as she tried to escape her binds. As much as she struggled, it was no use. She turned her head towards Flitter, standing above her. “Hey Flitter, could you please untie me?”

“Now why would I do that?”

Cloud Chaser sighed, closed her eyes, and said with a tone of irritation, “Because I really have to pee.”

“I think that’s the longest example we’ve done. Ever.”

“Yes it is. And I must say, not a single word was wasted. Now, we’ve run out of time for now, so we’ll go to commercial break, and come back to fix a common complaint.”

“And what would that be?”

“Well, we’ve gotten complaints that our show isn’t child-friendly enough. So, our next segment is one targeted exactly towards all the colts and fillies.”

“Honestly, with topics like that, it’s a wonder we can get sponsors at all.”

Author's Note

This chapter took way longer than I had expected to write. First, I got really sick for a few days. Then, Christmas and all that. And mixed in with both of those was my general shyness, making that second scene really awkward and difficult to write. But I certainly enjoyed it. And I know some of you did not at all. So please, refrain from downvoting me just because of that. I know that's a thing, so please don't.