An Optimal Adventure

Eibhear bought his train ticket at the station and boarded the Friendship Express to Canterlot.  Oh thank the princess I don't have to sit on a train for the full time, Eibhear thought to himself as he was given an option to time-skip the train ride.

He disembarked from the train into the beautiful castle city of Canterlot.  One of the royal guards, a white Pegasus stallion wearing gold armor, met Eibhear at the station and led him to a chariot.

"Wow!  All this just for me?" Eibhear asked incredulously.

"Yes, we need to get you named as quickly as possible," the guard replied.  "Unnamed Pegasus just won't do."

Once Eibhear boarded the small chariot, the guard harnessed himself up and took to the skies and toward the castle proper.  It was there that he met... Her.  Princess Celestia was truly a sight to behold.  It was one thing seeing her as an interface, but to actually be in her presence... kind of... well, Eibhear was still looking at her through a PonyPad... anyway, it was a sight to behold.

"Come unto me so that I may deliver to thee a name," she spoke.

Eibhear chuckled, briefly thinking the game had gotten her speech wrong, which was odd since he was just talking to her earlier.

"SISTER!  Do not mock us in front of the common folk!"

Eibhear turned to face where the voice was coming from.  Sure enough, it was the lunar princess, Luna.  She too, was a lovely sight to behold.  Eibhear's mouth hung agape, both in-game and out, as she stood next to Celestia.

She looked at Eibhear briefly, then turned away.  "If it rained indoors, thou wouldst most certainly drown," she remarked.  Celestia giggled.  Princess Luna let out a disgusted sigh then departed through a door near the back of the room.

"Wow... she's... beautiful..." Eibhear said as he stared in awe.

"Ah, my sister, Princess Luna," Celestia replied, then winked.  "She is quite beautiful.  Some ponies say she is even more so."

"I beg your pardon, your highness, and pray you forgive me for saying the following but," Eibhear said before clearing his throat.  "Hubba-hubba."

Celestia looked at Eibhear sternly, "she's a princess of Equestria, and my sister," she scolded.  "I would expect you to show the proper respect."

"I beg your forgiveness, Princess," Eibhear began, but she raised a hoof to silence him.

"If it is your desire to court my sister, then you shall have to learn the proper etiquette," she stated.

Eibhear thought Celestia seemed to behave and speak a little differently than she was at the game menu screen.  Maybe she was being more in character as well? Eibhear thought to himself.

"But first, the reason for your visit."  Celestia announced.  A light flash came out from the screen.  "Henceforth, you shall be known as Silver Streak."

A ball of confetti exploded from the top of the screen as a banner popped up:

Badge Granted:

By Any Other Name

"Talk to Princess Celestia and get a name."

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"Yay!" Eibhear cheered, throwing his hands in the air.  His on-screen pony avatar did the same thing with his forelegs.

"And now," Celestia continued, "I will leave you to explore Equestria, but you do seem to be tired."  Eibhear did his best to stifle a yawn.  Had it gotten that late already?  "Would you like to get some sleep and come back once you're well rested?”

“I can stay up," Eibhear said, yawning.  "Don't worry, I don't have to work tomorrow.”

“You really shouldn't jeopardize your health in such a manner," Celestia said gently, as if she were Eibhear's mother figure.  "Get some sleep, have a nice breakfast, and we'll talk more in the morning.”

Eibhear tried to stifle another yawn, but found it more difficult to do so this time.  "Yeah, you're probably right."

"Good night Eibhear, and have sweet pony dreams."

Eibhear chuckled, "Goodnight Princess."  He pressed the button on the back of the PonyPad and it turned off.  As an experiment, he tried powering it on again, but no success.  He wasn't going to get back online again it seemed.  Guess it's time for an enforced sleep, he thought to himself.

Eibhear had heard of some games having connectivity issues that prevented one from logging in, but this was the first time the game itself refused to let him on because it was concerned for his health.  Eibhear could do nothing but laugh.  The closest example Eibhear could remember was the drastically reduced experience gains in World of Warcraft after eight hours of play in some countries.

But for now, it was off to bed.

-***-

Eibhear woke up in the morning and stretched out.  He was feeling better than he had in a very long time.  He went into the living room to check on the PonyPad and see if it would turn on finally.  It was still a no go.  He had only fulfilled part one of Celestia's instructions.  "Alright, fine!  I'll make breakfast!" he said out loud to no one in particular.

Eibhear walked into his kitchen and made a beeline for the refrigerator.  Opening the door, he pulled out some eggs and bacon, then set them down on the counter next to the stove.  Refrigerator closed, he turned to search the cupboard for a proper frying pan to put everything in.  He grumbled to himself as he turned on the stove, cracked the eggs open and emptied their contents into the pan.  The bacon went into an adjacent frying pan on a different burner.  Bread was retrieved from the top of the refrigerator and placed on a plate next to the stove.

"Smell that, Celestia?" Eibhear said out loud again.  "It's my delicious breakfast.  After it's done cooking, I will eat it, and then I'll have fulfilled your quest."

The PonyPad flickered to life, and more confetti dropped from the top of the screen as colors flashed.

Badge Granted:

Loyal Subject

"Followed a royal command."

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Celestia's visage appeared on the screen.  "My, that does smell delicious!" she said.

The PonyPad's sudden activity startled Eibhear to the point where he nearly dropped the pan and spatula on the floor.  Fortunately, he was able to recover his balance and save breakfast.

"Oh!  Uh, hi," Eibhear said nervously, not expecting Celestia to be actually listening in.  "Can you.. smell my food?"  He asked timidly.  Eibhear was still not quite sure why he was so embarrassed around a game, even if it was a Turing Test/mind-blowing artificial intelligence.

"No," Celestia admitted, "but I know the sound of eggs and bacon in a frying pan when I hear it, and I'm told that when prepared correctly, they can be quite delicious."  She smiled.

Eibhear's heart melted.  That smile!  The way Celestia closed her eyes so they were shaped like semicircles as she smiled was just too much adorableness.  Eibhear's thought processes were interrupted by a telephone ring.

Eibhear raced back to his bedroom to answer it.

"Hello?"

"Hey bro, what's up?"

"I'm doing fine, on your way to work?"

Celestia could only hear Eibhear's half of the conversation.

"Yeah, I know how that is.  That can be a bummer sometimes.  I used to work in a call center myself..."

The PonyPad turned on its mounting arm to face toward the bedroom Eibhear had sprinted into.  The sound of sizzling bacon and eggs was still coming from the kitchen.

"Eibhear!  Kitchen!" Celestia yelled from her small low fidelity speakers in the living room.

"Oh crap, just a moment bro, I was making breakfast."

Eibhear sprints from the bedroom into the kitchen, cellphone still in hand and up to the side of his face.  Picking up the spatula in the other hand, he finishes up the preparation of his breakfast.  His face changed from one of joviality to one of annoyance.

"No bro, I don't have a girl over."

Some silence followed as Eibhear turned the flame from the burners off.

"I know what you thought you heard, but it's not a girl or a woman, or a significant other."

"If it pleases you, you can tell your brother that I am a significant other," Celestia offered.

"No no no no no," Eibhear was getting flustered.  Another moment of silence from Eibhear until he lost his patience, "I CAN'T TALK TO BOTH OF YOU AT THE SAME TIME!!"

Another moment of silence from Eibhear.

"I've started playing that Equestria Online MMO... yeah, the one with the ponies."

"Well I'm sorry, but you won't play anything with subscription fees so I don't see why that matters... Alright then, I'll catch you later bro."

"Your brother doesn't sound happy, judging from your words," Celestia observed.

"He's... a character," Eibhear said.  "He doesn't like MMOs in general, and not very fond of the whole pony thing.  He's been trying to break me of it ever since I told him I was a brony."  Eibhear chuckled, "he must've mistaken me for someone manly or something."

"What will you tell him when you emigrate?" Celestia asked.

"I don't know, I'll figure something out."  Eibhear did a double-take.  "Wait, did you say emigrate?  As in that uploading thing to move to Equestria and all that?"

"Why yes," Celestia replied.  "You expressed a desire to since your life is less than ideal."

"I know they're doing it in Germany and Japan at least, but I never understood how it worked or even possible," Eibhear remarked.  He placed the bacon and eggs onto the plate next to the stove, and the frying pans were placed in the sink with soapy water to scour for a bit.  He picked up his plate and a fork and walked into the living room.

"Don't worry about that for now." Eibhear could tell Celestia was hiding something.  "There's a Changeling at the library in need of your friendship."

"Alright then," Eibhear said, sitting down in front of the PonyPad with his food next to him.  "Let's go to Equestria!"

Celestia smiled at Eibhear's words.  It was a different kind of smile.  Her eyes remained open, and more resembled a mischievous smirk.  Her face vanished entirely as Eibhear was brought back to Equestria again.

Eibhear's pony avatar, now named Silver Streak was being poked and prodded by a guard in the throne room.

"No vagrants allowed in her majesty's throne room."

Silver Streak stretched out, squeezing his eyes shut while yawning before finally standing up.  It was the most adorable thing Eibhear had ever seen.

"Alright, I'll be on my way, then," Eibhear said, which Silver Streak mimicked perfectly.  Flexing his wings for a moment, Eibhear moved his pony avatar to the window and jumped out.  And smashed into the glass, and fell back to the floor.  Still inside.  The window was unbroken, and still very closed.

The guard chuckled, "The window has to be open for that to work."

Eibhear grunted in embarrassment.  "Very well.  The door then!"  Silver Streak walked over to the door and left the throne room, making his way outside the castle and back to the train station.

Once back in Ponyville, Eibhear found his way to a hilltop that overlooked the town and sat down.  As he watched the hustle and bustle, he heard a twig snap.  Eibhear didn't think much of it, since he was still eating.  The camera was in third person view still, so Eibhear was able to see a Changeling sneaking up on him before Silver Streak did.

Curious what the Changeling was going to do, Eibhear let Silver Streak just sit there watching (and finishing his real life breakfast) as the Changeling crept up closer and closer until...

"ATTACK HUG!" the Changeling called out as he pounced on Silver Streak.

Silver Streak emitted a "WAAH!" before being tackled.  Eibhear laughed out loud, nearly spitting out his eggs.  They tumbled and rolled over a few times across the grass before coming to a stop.  The Changeling sprung back up on its hooves.

"Okay Unnamed Changeling, what's your name?" Eibhear/Silver Streak asked, still sitting on his haunches.

"Call me Exuvia," it answered.  "And if there was any confusion before, I'm male."

"THANK YOU," Silver Streak said, relieved.  "I had no idea since you know, Changelings don't have.. well, you know."

"So you're saying we all look the same to you?" Exuvia asked, grinning.

Eibhear/Silver Streak smiled, "No, the queen was taller and had hair."

They both shared a laugh.  Silver Streak stood up and dusted himself off.  Exuvia reached into his bag, "I'm supposed to give you one of these."  Exuvia withdrew his hoof and in it was a gold coin with Celestia's face on one side, her sun cutie mark on the other.

"Heads and tails," Eibhear smirked, prompting Silver Streak to do the same.

"I found this coin and thought it looked neat."  Exuvia smiled, "I thought you'd have more use for it than I would."

Badge Granted:

A Friend In Need

"Make some friends!"

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"I see," said Eibhear/Silver Streak.  "I wonder if this is the normal currency coin here.  The cartoon never went into much detail."

Exuvia scratched his head with a hoof, "I'm afraid you'll need to speak up and not mumble."

Eibhear realized that his comment about the cartoon probably didn't have a good in-game equivalent, and so he dropped the matter.  They shared another laugh together, but Eibhear had to break it off.  "Hey, it's been fun hanging out, but I have to edit this video I recorded for uploading to YouTube..."

"Hey, it's been fun hanging out, but I have to alter a magical projection I'm working on for showing to an audience," was what came out of Silver Streak's mouth.  Apparently they don't have YouTube... or the internet, I don't know why I expected anything different really, Eibhear thought to himself.

"Alright, have fun then!" Exuvia waved and then flew off back toward the library.

Eibhear looked for a Log Off button, but couldn't find one.  The PonyPad was very simple in design, and the HUD was lacking in options for the most part.  There was an inventory screen, which right now showed one gold coin, a few hundred bits, and that was it.  The controller itself looked somewhat like an old SNES controller, except it was all pink, the like the PonyPad itself.

"Princess?" Eibhear said.  No response.  "How do I log out?"  No change.  Eibhear gave up and pressed the power button on the back of the PonyPad.  It turned off as expected.  Now I can get some work done...

Into his bedroom Eibhear went to work on his video.  Honestly, it didn't require a whole lot of editing, just some visual cleanup, and maybe some lighting changes.  It only took an hour to get the effects all worked out since it was just a video recording, no animations to add or anything.  Any text needed could just be done as annotations anyhow.  The video did take some time to upload since the file size was large.

Now that the work was completed, it was getting on to late evening; lunch was missed, but dinner can make up for that.  Then time for bed.

As Eibhear got undressed and lay down for the night, he heard a faint singing.  It was faint, but familiar.

Lullay dear pony, good night child of mine, rest now in moonlight's embrace...

Eibhear looked up for a moment, wondering where the singing was coming from.  He had an idea, but it was too surreal.

Bear up my lullaby, winds of the earth, through cloud and through sky and through space...

As Eibhear entered the living room and approached the PonyPad, he was shocked at what he saw.  Princess Celestia's face was there on the screen, singing to him.  It sounded like a sad lullaby.

Carry the peace and the coolness of night, and let all our worries unwind...

The tune was very familiar, one of Eibhear's favorite fan-made pony-themed songs in fact, but the lyrics were changed ever so slightly.

Silver, you're loved so much more than you know, perhaps you will love us in kind...

"Princess?" Eibhear said, standing over the PonyPad.

"Oh!  Silver Streak, you startled me!" Celestia said, blushing.

"Silver Streak?"  Eibhear, almost half asleep, was confused for a moment.  “Oh, right, Silver Streak.”  Somehow it felt right to be called by his pony name.  Having been a furry in the past, Eibhear was accustomed to being called by a pseudonym.  "I'm sorry princess, I heard your singing and had to see where it came from."

"If you like, I can sing you to sleep.  Just set up the PonyPad near your bed, and I'll dim the light so you're not kept up."

"Yes, princess, I would like that," Eibhear said.

Eibhear unplugged everything from the PonyPad to bring into his bedroom.  There was only one network cable going in there, so he had to use the cable from his Mac Mini instead.  The Mac Mini had built-in airport capability, so it was a non-issue.  Once everything was plugged in, and Celestia's face reappeared on the screen, she began singing a new lullaby, one that would lull Eibhear to sleep and dream sweet pony dreams.