The Drunken Escapades of Pixel

"And as we can see by the map, we need to flatten this area, and this area. So as we can buil;d farms and wood harvesters." I paused for another swig form th ebottle. "But this area!" I punched the map. "Fuck this area especialy."I moved my hoof in circles. Circles are fun. Fucking is fun. We should fun circles. By circles, I mean women. But women are hurtfull. So fuck women. Logic. What was I tlaking about? I don't even know.Hey i should call this chapter that.

There we go. Now everything makes sense. Till tuesday. fuck tuesday. Wednesdays are awesome. Love wednesdays. Ghost shows are on on wednsedays. Yay. I burped up some puke. don't worry I swallowed it. Um. What was I doing. Oh yeah. Pixel. Um. Shit happened that I thought of while sober that I should write down to remebr later. but I don't know where I wrote it. fuck. i'll think about while getting some more drink. Brb.

I'm back and i remebered. I wrote it down on word. Here we go. I'll start a new paragraph fro this.

So, after I did the popeye thing with the vodka, yum, I went bezerk and whumped Twibitches ass. Then had to run from Celestia's golden thing of death. Luna tried to stop celestia from killing me. somthinabout needing me for somthin. I don't know. I just took the opertunity to throw a table and run away. I ran down the hall and ran into a pink thing. Me and the thing tumbled for a bit, then we hit a wall. I was then picked up by another pink thing and set down. Someone started talking to me, I looked, saw a guard, freaked and punched him.

His head went back, but his horn lit up. His magic is pink. ha. guy with pink magic. I knwo this place is meant to be girly, but come on. The white bitches, the short one, magic is blue. where was I going with this. Whatever. The guy went to hit me with magic, I punched him again, and ran. I jumped out a window, I got about ten feet and plumited. I dont remeber why, but sober me says my wing is broken. who the fuck messed up my wing. gonna kill a bitch.

I hit the ground hard. but the ground was soft. I think. hard to tell. Anyway, someone is yelling from the window. I don't care. I stand up, and see like 30 guard guys runnin at me. Whooped their ass. Ran away. Made it to this library place. I thinks its a library. Have'nt found a enchat table yet, do im guessing. Fuck off spell check. Using my drunk senses, i found a bottle of whisky under the front desk. I don't like whisky. Im gonnnna make it vodka. i am god. i turn whisky into vodka. kneel and suck my chode. kn ighty cna suck my fat chode. prick. my fucking favorits has five storis that ive alrady read through cloggin that shit up. fucking knighty. i hope he reads this. basterd.

Anyway, I find a map on a table. why the fuck would i be interested in a map. sober me wanted to make ajoke about fuck this area espicaily. fuck you sober me, thats not funny! what is funny, is fucking chryslais again. that bitch id hot. luna is okay, but she short. I like to 69 and actually be able to reach her shiot. celestia is okay. bet shes into nasty shit too. cadence is meh. and shes marrined so nog there. Im gonna put some music on. fuck it. all i have is dubstep rigth now. i dont feel like going through fucking folders for anything else. silence it is.

God damnit sober me, non of these jokes are funny! let me write thsi shit myself. it was nice of you fro the outline, but im funner then you. so sod off. why the fuck am i cussing in british?

Okay, i need to continue the story. no more sidetracks. so shut up brain. alright. I leave the library, and run into chrysalis. She says some shti abotu things i dont even remeber. I say that i dont rem,ebr, but she cant undersand me. I must be speajin in cave man. I am so blitzed. I had to stop typing for a second so the screen would stop moving. no i will nto tkae you outside. i can barely stand. go back to bed dog. sorry, my dog came to saty hi. why did I typr that out? I dont know. magnets.

Story. neeed to type story. okay. story. where was i . chrysalis was talkin to me. I was takin in cave man. um. fuck it. sexy time. middle of hallway. she accepts! fun times helf by all! WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

okay. sexy times. im not gonnnnna write ir out. thats stays in mky mind. sexy times over. im sleepy. and i need to pee. so, pee then bed. okay. holy fcuk on a stick its 555am. okay. pee then bed. bye people!