I went back to Luna's chambers feeling a lot more refreshed, knowing that all I had to do tomorrow was set up some ridiculous and elaborate trap without being caught. It was well worth ~~taking the Hobbits to Isengard~~ putting up an escape route in case I wanted to play it sneaky. To my luck, when the next day came I found a doorway in the back of the castle's older wings. Behind this door was a network of tunnels beneath the courtyard, all containing elaborate things like ancient elevators, stairs, and trapdoors operated by old levers. It was kind of like a Roman coliseum, where ~~you would go bowling~~ Gladiators and animals would be sent to the surface via such contraptions. As I explored these tunnels, I realised how easy it was to pop up where you needed to be, and where you didn't. For instance, there was a point where I clambered out of a trapdoor in front of a whole platoon of Guards, who looked at me in pure confusion. The Colonel behind was not too impressed with their staring, but instead surprised me by snapping off a salute.

"Permission to carry on, Sir?" he asked in a formal manner. I raised my hoof.

"Hey, no need for the 'sir' business, Colonel." I chuckled, causing him to relax slightly. "I don't have any military access, nor Noble status, so there's no point in giving the formalities." I turned to his squad. "You have a fine platoon here, Colonel. They'll make brilliant guards, I can see it in their eyes. Afternoon~~" I sang as I closed the trapdoor again, leaving one very confused Colonel and twelve amused soldiers. Though I noted at that point that almost all of the troopers looked...familiar.

I couldn't place my hoof on it at the time, so I shrugged, and continued placing remote explosives on certain areas with iron-cast grids. All I'd need to do is lure Prince BlueSpyper onto one, if not him then one of his 'small group' he said would be coming along to aid him.

I honestly knew he was going to fight dirty. So why not put my own stains into his fur and let them settle in?

At dinner, the situation was pretty awkward. While I was out putting bombs down, Rock Roller, Bush Whacker, and Jane Doe had arrived, and sat at the table beside Dok. They were eyeing each other in a way that only old friends could do, and everypony else was eyeing them like they were all 'getting ready for the night'. I was the first to clear the silence.

"So..." I began, diverting attention from half of the room to myself. "I assume you know these guys, Dok?"

"Ich glaube, ich muss tun..." he murmured, before speaking up. "Nun, meine Freunde, was bringt Ihnen bis zu Canterlot?" Bush, Rock, and Jane looked confused, before Bush cleared his throat. The red stallion looked at Dok, and quite clearly said;

"Arbeiten. Wir haben hier einige Arbeit zu tun zu kommen." a lot of mouths in the area dropped at the fact such an already dashing stallion could speak multiple languages. He turned to Rock. "Рок, напомни мне ..., которые были старым другом мы также спуститься сюда, чтобы увидеть?" Jaws dropped further, and a female guard across the room began eyeing the red and brown maned stallion up and down. He was utterly oblivious to it.

"Да, конечно..." Rock replied cautiously. "Вернувшись домой, мы знали, что ...человека. Эм, жеребец, я имею в виду. Мы называли его медика, или врачом. И когда мы приехали сюда из ... Griffonia, мы поняли, что мы могли бы встретиться с ним еще раз. Вы, случайно, не знаете доктор злорадства, не так ли, товарищ?" All eyes stared blankly at him, and Dok thought the statement over. Finally, he replied to our surprise.

"Да, это было бы меня. Вы, случайно, не лежать и на самом деле ссылки на бесплодные земли Нью-Мексико, и факт, вы были заняты в качестве наемников?" He spoke so fluently, even more mares had began eyeing all three stallions with equal interest. I also added into the conversation, noting a strange presence.

"Spy, sérieusement, je sais que vous êtes là." I groaned. More eyes snapped to me. "Arrêtez d'essayer de masquer votre présence à partir de Medic, Soldier, Heavy, et Sniper. Gardez à l'esprit que Sniper porte des lunettes, et serait probablement jeter un pot de pisse à vous, Medic a un pistolet caché dans son sac, et Heavy va vous écraser avec ses sabots nus, je viendrais si j'étais vous." I stopped, and shook my head. "Jesus, where did that come from?" In spite of my sudden knowledge of the French language (See A/N for clop mental image made in Google Translate), Spy did decloak, surprising everyone. I smirked, reclining in my chair as the guys stared at me in utter confusion in how I knew French despite hating the people and their country. "Spotted you."

"Ugh, you bastard." Spy groaned. The blue stallion in the suit trotted up to the large crowd in the dining room doorway, approaching one of the maids. She, as with all maids, was wearing a pony-like version of a French Maid costume, and looked adorable and sexual at the same time. He looked her up and down, smirking behind his balaclava. "Tu es magnifique, madame. Le costume de femme de chambre classique a été conçu et popularisé dans mon pays d'origine de France. Venez, laissez-moi vous montrer les voies de mon peuple." he said softly. The mare was utterly elated, and a large crowd of them followed Spy out of the room.

Just for the record, I did not reccomend that sexy fashion design to Rarity, and she did not go to Celestia with it, and Celestia did not approve, and I was sent to an alternate universe and raped by Molestia.

Anyway, the remaining stallions sighed in relief. "God, thankfully that's over." I groaned, before continuing to eat my salad.

"Da. Rock did not enjoy nopony understanding him." Rock added, the hulking stallion looking quite depressed. Dok smiled, and put a hoof to his shoulder.

"Ah, it is no problem." He smiled. "I'm just glad to have at least 4 BLU team members with me." Bush nodded.

"Yeah. But what about Engineer, Demoman, Scout, and...him?" The men froze as Bush mentioned it. "Oh god. He might be in this world." he murmured. Celestia now looked worried.

"W-Well, who's...he?" she asked worriedly. A moment of silence reigned between the Princesses, the girls, the guys, myself, everyone else at the table, and the BLUs. Quietly, I reached into my bag, and pulled out a small tape recording Dok had given me, along with some photos. They were melted or charred horribly, but playable, and I'd listened to it. All eyes on me, I clicked the play button.

A man's walking was heard, the sound of a quiet night being replaced by the whirring of the recording. "Day 12 of my 'new-life' scheme." a voice announced. "Mabel is happy I've decided to spend more time with the kids, and I think it took my mind off the...neighbour, shall I say..." there was a pause. "No. Phillip. No. You'll just remind yourself. You know what he does. Just don't talk out. Anyway, l-like I was saying, I'll have to cut this short, since I'm coming to my front do-" There was silence, and the footsteps stopped. "Oh dear god." I passed out the first image, flicking it onto the table; It was a police photo of the door to the house, busted open with multiple axe swings. Inside was an eerie darkness.

"M-My front door...the kids...Mabel...Oh, CHRIST!" he yelled suddenly, the recording going louder as footsteps were heard at sprinting speed. I could see everypony at the table getting uncomfortable, minus those who couldn't hear. The footsteps on concrete went onto wood, and a door creaked. "Mabel?! Kids?!" the man called out. There was a moment of silence again, before more footsteps, and the sound of a shotgun being cocked. "You son of a bitch...you come in my house, you've crossed the line." The recorder was moved closer to his mouth. "OK, just to clarify, my neighbour is a psychopath, he's busted my door down and possibly attacked my family, wears a gas mask, and has Pyromania. This man is insane. I'm gonna go get the phone to call the poli-"

Thud.

Thud.

Thud.

Slow, deliberate footsteps were heard, accompanied by the dragging of an object along the floor, probably an axe. I threw out my next picture; a charred axe left at the scene, covered in blood and cinders. Ponies looked at these and looked terrified, with Luna just looking and me as though the man in the pictures was me. The dragging ceased. "Y-You bastard...I'm gonna blow a hole through your goddamn he-!" There was a crack, and a splatterig sound, accompanied by a gunshot and scream. Then the hissing started. "N-No! WHERE WERE YOU EVEN FUCKING HIDING THAT THING?! NO! NOOOOO-!" The rest of the tape was cut by Dok, since it was over 15 minutes of a man having his skull forcibly pulled out and smashed with an axe.

This might be our last time together, Thunder." Luna whispered, my head pressed under her chin as she gently stroked my neck. "Do you want to just spend it as normal?" I thought for a moment.

"Nah." I replied quietly. "I think this is nice." I turned my head, planting a kiss on her neck, and the room felt warmer. Warmer than I'd ever felt. For four hours, we simply lay there, snuggled closely together and sharing body heat, until...

"This is boring." I sighed.

"Agreed." Luna nodded. "I'll go get the lingerie."

Author's Note

Je suis totalement lécher le cul de la princesse Luna comme elle gémit de plaisir, serrant ses flancs jusqu'à ce qu'elle laisse une vague de jus d'amour dans mon visage.