I told you to go right

As it turns out, being insane and in a dark forest is NOT good for anypony. I had already gone on a sexist rant, tried to throw Rainbow into a ditch, before chasing a bunny with the knife, each incident being rewarded with a huge and ridiculously paralyzing electric charge. The first few times, they tried to calm me down, but eventually I was tied with a bonding spell, gagged, and carried on Ebony's back. Even Pinkie Pie, who believes anything is possible, began to keep clear, as a blue and gold pegasus with a major mental dysfunction is not to be trusted with ANYTHING. I knew immediately the moment I first snapped I should have left. But I didn't. And now I'm risking 6 mares who are to soon bear the Elements of Harmony, and this may potentially destroy the hope of that happening. From my upside-down position on Ebony's back, I noticed it was getting a lot darker, a lot faster.
"Hold on," Applejack suddenly said as the orange cowpony stopped and raised a hoof. "Ah think ah stepped in somethin'." I couldn't see what she'd stood in, probably shit, but Ebony looked into my vision.
"Vaas, your horse needs a fucking break." he smirked, throwing his back and causing me to tumble onto the dirty forest floor. I of course had no say in this, so I simply enjoyed the unexpected pain of smacking snout-first onto the floor. But of course, nopony else really gave a damn, so I simply lay on my side as the others had a conversation. Out of the corner of my eye, a tiny blue cloud was drifting into a tree, illuminating the tall trees with red hairlines. Swirling around the bark lines, the crimson lighting slowly forming faces. Unlike in the show, however, I practically shit myself at some of them; there were faces that might scare a foal, then there's those that haunt fucking nightmares. I tried to shout for help through the fabric in my mouth, muffled cries being all that formed.
"Calm down, Thunder." Rainbow groaned. "We'll release you...eventually."
"No! She's right there! In the trees!" I was screaming through the mask, falling on deaf ears. Once again, though, my mind was invaded for the 12th time that day. Errr, night.
They ignore you again?
Huh? Oh, it's you...yeah, they are.
It isn't too late for somepony as handsome as yourself to join my ranks. Not only am I the most generous of royalty, I am also the most trusting...
Yep. Sure you are.
Do you deny my voice? I think something must be done about that...
Miss Nightmare, are you trying to seduce me?
No, of course I'm not trying. I'm most likely succeeding. Even from here, I can feel your arousal growing. Just submit: you will not regret it.
Why did you not follow my advice the first time we spoke?
I don't recall. Care to refresh my memory?
I asked you to stop being so damn sexy. Could you please listen to me?
Well...maybe. Depends on what you'll do when I don't. Tee Hee.
...you have no idea how hot I am for you right now.
That's the idea, my dearest Thunder.
What, to get me into the Royal Chambers with you? Why not just turn back to Princess Luna and I'd be more liable to tap that.
...fair play, a fair idea, but not good enough.
Precisely. You shall not succeed in your plan, temptress. Away with ye.
Fine, just don't expect me to leave you be after this.
Good enough.
Very well. I shall be gone.
Good. Leave me to my insanity. And stop invading my mind, you're turning me insane, forget the forest!
Was that not the plan, Thunder?
"...no." I suddenly said aloud. I realized that I was probably having another psychotic attack, so I shook my head to clear my thoughts. Along with that, I tried to stretch my muscles as much as I could with my bonds tightly gripping all four of my legs together and wiggling my body about. I suddenly felt a pressure around my body as the aura around me tightened. It was purple; the same purple as the bonds Twilight put on me.
"Oh no ya don't!" Rainbow laughed, pinning me down. "You're going nowhere."
"What? What are you talking about, you crazy bitch?! I was trying to stop my muscles from falling asleep! You've just been lying on the floor laughing at fucking trees like a stoner, let me at least stretch my legs!" I shouted back at her, my yells of frustration being muffled by the mask. Rarity was stood beside my spectrum-maned attacker, tutting and looking down at me.
"Darling, calm down." she tried soothing, but her accent freaked the shit out of a Brit like myself. "The sooner we get through this ghastly forest, the sooner we can ask Princess Celestia if she might be able to fix your mental health. So, just for the purpose of not being irritated by your muffled outcrys, we're going to cast a sleep spell on you."
"WHAT?!?!?! SHIT NO! GET THE FUCK AWAY!" I screamed once again, now desperate to get out of Rarity's horn's path to my head. A blue aura surrounded the white spike as the elegant mare began to move it to my forehead. Quickly, I rolled out of the way, pushing Rainbow Dash off of me as I did so, and finally forced the bindings apart. I raised a hoof, unwrapped the gag from my mouth, before tying it around my hoof. Twilight looked shocked.
"You can't break magic bindings!" she gasped, narrowing her eyes as she charged what I guessed to be a knockout spell. "That's impossible! You have to be brought down to heel!"
"How does 'No' sound?" I asked sarcastically, as I began to back away from my friends and the mares. Pretty soon I was going to run out of room, so I'd have to fly. I'd then proceed to be brought down by Dash, who would hold me down whilst Twilight did her thing. I suddenly realized I was unarmed, so I couldn't swipe with the knife. Sighing, and admitting defeat, I finally rested on my haunches.
"Fine." I muttered. "I'm insane, you're all sane. It's not like Nightmare Moon has been invading my mind for the past few hours, repeatedly telling me where she was and what she'd do to me if I joined her, or anything..." The sound of magic charging stopped suddenly. Twilight stepped forward cautiously.
"What?" She asked as her eyes narrowed even further than should be possible. "She's 'invading your mind'? How so?"
"I dunno. She's like a voice that keeps popping up; giving out free mind-irritant with her voice and shit." I replied. "I'm not sure how she does it, but she got smug eventually and told me her hideout."
"Where, then?"
"Promise not to do something like taser me to the ground the moment I tell you?" Twilight sighed, before looking up at me.
"Promise."
"Right. She told me it was somewhere in the ruins of the old castle. Moony also decided that she should send mental images into my head, so we have those. I think I know how to get there, follow me, if you will." A few grumbles were heard as I turned tail and trotted towards a small path leading through the foliage. Solar was almost immediately next to me.
"Nice recovery." he whispered. "Is she really saying she'll reward you for conversion?"
"Yes," I replied. "But nopony with that sexy a figure and voice can be telling the truth. Take Rarity for example." I gestured behind to the white mare, telling a 'fabulous' story to Sky, Inferno, and Ebony about how she went gem hunting and found the Changeling hive. We both went silent, before Solar finally spoke up.
"Yeah, definitely bullshit." he laughed as all twelve of us marched up the hill towards the cliff where Twilight nearly falls down. Even I admitted it; fantastic recovery. However, I'd need damn recovery when that Manticore shows up. I knew tha-wait a second...
...when that Manticore shows up...
Manticore shows up...
Manticore...
Manti...
Man...
M...
"Fluttershy?" I called back. I heard a diabeetus inducing squeak behind me, before a tiny voice came in return.
"Y-Yes?" stammered the little vanilla Pegasus, cautiously trotting forward as everypony else stopped.
"There's a Manticore with a splinter up ahead. Come on, I'll need your help." I replied quite casually, as though a pissed off lion/scorpion/some-other-shit mutant animal with a splinter was daily buisness. To Fluttershy, it was. As we both went ahead, murmurring behind signalled that the others were most likely assuming I was going to...I dunno, something, Fluttershy.
"I-Is he hurt?" Fluttershy asked timidly.
"Dunno, might hurt me though." I laughed throatily, causing a worried whimper to come from beside me. "You still have the knife?" Fluttershy reeled back in horror, before angrily glaring at me.
"Don't you DARE touch that animal, you bru-"
"No, no," I raised my hooves defensively. "In case it's stuck in his paw deep. You might need to lever it out."
"Oh, no." Fluttershy responded quickly. "I-I'll use a stick to pull it out."
"Alright, if that's your plan." I replied. "I saw somepony getting shot with the type of weapon I have, the Gun."
"Oh my goodness! I'm so sorry!"
"No problem, don't worry; he got out a screwdriver and pulled the thing out of his body without skipping a beat. Almost as though he did it daily. Plus, same guy snapped his legs back into place after he fell off a small cliff once." Oh yeah. Far Cry 3. Nopony can be as tough as a tourist who seems to have a perfect understanding of how to use guns and how he can kill without flinching. Seriously, Jason Brody probably never even HANDLED a gun, never mind killed somebody with it. Yet somehow, he kills pirates with fire and grenades and shit, without flinching at all. Fucking nutter.
"That's nothing." Fluttershy suddenly said. I almost had a heart attack at that. 'Nothing'? FUCKING NOTHING?! "I once had to pull a shard of iron from my neck when my cooker exploded. I didn't flinch."
"Errr...wow. That's crazy. I didn't think you were the type of pony who'd do that."
A sudden roar up ahead signalled the Manticore was nearby. Fluttershy happily trotted forward, right up to the beast, and lovingly gestured to its paw.
That's fucking precious.