I told you to go right

I couldn't believe my eyes. Luna had kept this hidden from my friends and I for this long? And how the hell did an RPG end up in Equestria? No wait, scratch that, how did these RPGs end up in Equestria?! There's a bloody crate full of the things, as well as a good 20 rockets! We could have used these so many fucking times it's unreal! Ponies in lab coats were examining the launchers, putting them down on tables, finding out about them, disassembling them, and reassembling them, before placing them back in the crate. Luna seemed unfazed by my eye-twitching, and was interrogating me.
"So," she began, "recognise these things?"
"Bloody hell..." I murmured. "...I-I bloody do."
"And?" Luna asked, cocking her head and raising a brow.
"RPG launchers. Rocket Propelled Grenade launchers. Weapon of choice for Ragheads out in Afghanistan, Iraq, and other countries where it's all gone to shit."
"Well, we've kept these locked up for 3 months, now. Just waiting for one of you boys to come up and explain what they were. And...um...here you are. Explain, please?"
"Fine." I facehoofed, before going over to the box and pulling out one of the rockets. Scientists stopped what they were doing to listen to the explanation of somepony who knew about them. "What you're looking at is a good twenty of these: missiles. Fuel is ignited in the launcher, those larger objects, and the missile flies off the end. The fuel propels it forward, and when it impacts a solid object, it blows that solid object to bits in a fiery explosion. Hmm...would it be possible for me to give a demonstration?"
"Would it?" Luna asked a scientist, who nodded. "It would."
"Well, that's the thing: where would I fire this thing, and at what?"
"We could set up some crates out on the archery range." one scientist replied, sticking a hoof up. He seemed quite young. "Close it all off for a few minutes to fire some rockets and blow shit up."

"I like you already." I stated matter-of-factly, pointing the rocket at him. "I'll buy you a beer later, because you're awesome. Anyway, would that be possible to do?" I asked Luna. She consulted a nearby guard, who nodded, and Luna nodded. "Right. Bring about five rockets, and a launcher, and bring some empty crates to the range. If possible, put Blueblood in one of the crates."

Ten minutes passed, and the archery range had been commandeered. However, that didn't stop guards from coming down from all over the castle to watch some pretty explosions. Scientists had dragged a full camera set to the range, moved a couple of crates down at different ranges, and set up a sand bank at the end. More accurately, reinforced the sand bank to protect against High-Explosive bombs. I stepped up to the range, launcher in hoof as I stood on two legs. Kneeling down, I picked up a rocket.
"Right..." I mumbled. "How do you bloody load this thing...?"
Seeing no other option, I pushed the shell into the end of the barrel. A loud click signalled it had locked in, and I surprised myself. Thank you, games where I had to reload RPGs a lot because I'm crap at aiming with them... So, I shouldered it, silence fell, and a scientist spoke to the camera.
"Demonstration 1 of Rocket Propelled Grenade launcher: 20 metres, fire when ready." I grinned at his comment. 20m, the explosive range of RPGs in Afghanistan, so I read from Wikipedia, is 15m. This should be fun. Smiling, I put my right eye up to the hole you aim through, and tapped the tiny trigger. A loud whoosh scared the shit out of me, and the rocket on the end shot forward, before smashing into the box. Then, to my horror, continued through the fragile wood, straight through every box, before smashing into the sand bank. A loud boom shook the ground, and heat washed over everypony gathered. The fire bloomed, spraying sand everywhere as it did so. Moments of shocked silence and coughing followed as the smoke finally reached us. Finally, I turned.
"And that, children, is how to blow up wankas." I said in my best Sniper accent. The camerapony simply rolled his eyes, and spoke again.
"Weapon has penetration capabilities against fragile surfaces, and, scientifically, it's fucking awesome." The guards had started cheering. I promptly placed the weapon on the floor, stood on four hooves again, and trotted over to Princess Luna. She had taken up a position behind a wall with a slit in it, almost like a bunker, along with a group of scientists taking notes on clipboards.
"Well, now we know that we're reverse engineering those, because they're awesome." Luna smiled, giving me a quick hug. "Thanks for the demonstration, darling. Now, let's talk about the nuclear bomb in the armoury..."
"WHAT?!?!" I yelled, my heart freezing.
"I'm kidding, I'm kidding." she giggled. "You're so cute when you look like you're about to have a heart attack."
"Oh, nice to know." I groaned, rolling my eyes. I suddenly noticed the Princess' mane and fur; black patches of smoke stains blotted out the deep blue it usually was, and her white crescent seemed slightly greyer and even black in places. "I think you'll need a shower." I said politely.
"Says you." she shot back. "I swear you were blue before this. Here." Suddenly, Luna had conjured a mirror and shown me what I looked like. I was black.

"Yeah, I need a shower." I chuckled. "We should head back to your room, get cleaned up, yeah?" She nodded, and we set off back to the bedroom.

The shower was easily large enough to accommodate the two of us, and the head spanned nearly the entirety of the 3X3 cubicle. The soot, however, took a lot of effort to remove, as well as a lot of scrubbing. I watched my marefriend as she levitated a brush across her wet fur, while I couldn't reach between my wingbases. After struggling for a while, I heard the Princess giggling.
"Need help?" she asked innocently.
"Please." I replied. However, I didn't consider the fact that wingbases of a pegasi are the most sensitive parts, and that I had just asked Princess Trolluna to scrub between them. I was about to turn around and say 'you know what, just do-'-ooooh...wow...that's damn good...nngg...
"Your mistaaaake!~~" she sang in my ear, still scrubbing between the bases of my wings. I couldn't tell what facial expression she had on, most likely some kind of shit-eating grin, but at that moment I didn't care. I didn't care about anything right then: I was getting a massaaaaaage, from Lunaaaaaa...and it felt damn gooood...so, so good...oh, wo-
Poomph.
"Teehee." Luna giggled. She stopped brushing, and I had a moment to catch my breath. "You have a wing boner? Oh, no. However, we all know what the cure for that is..." Grinning slyly, she turned the shower off, dried me off using a short burst of heat magic, and levitated me onto the bed. She stood over me, smiling seductively, and restraining my movement with her hooves. I, of course, had no say in this, and thus it was rape.

But I enjoyed it, so it's K.

2 hours later, we were both woken up by a commotion outside. We looked into each others eyes, nodded, and got up quickly, making ourselves at least presentable. Once we were both ready, we opened the door, to see guards running back and forth. The Princess stopped one.
"Guard!" she ordered. "What's all this commotion?"
"Discord's escaped, ma'am!" the guard replied quickly. "Everypony's going to action stations in case he tries to get hold of you or you sister!" Then, the guard galloped off down the hall. Luna and I shrugged.
"I'll go get a shotgun." I sighed, before trotting down the hall towards the armoury.
"I might help too, you know." Luna suddenly said. I turned. She had trotted up beside me, and we were both headed to the armoury. "May as well have the human teach me something about guns, hmm?"
"Now I'm picturing you in an insanely sexy combat outfit with two pistols."
"You should be, I'm your mistress, after all."
"Yeah? Well I'm the freaking dominator."