I told you to go right

"EVERYONE!" I yelled, running around in a circle, englufed in flames, and flailing my hooves around with a slight German accent. "I AM ON FIRE!"
"Woooo-wee," Inferno replied, Teaxas accent peeping into his voice. He wasn't even helping. Nobody was; it was just me, fighting a god, with a flamethrower, and I was on fire, it didn't really hurt but oh well, and nopony was helping. All they were doing was sitting by the sidelines, watching me getting humiliated. "Would ya look at that."
"You are such a BAD doctor! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA! -snort- AHAHAHAAA!" Fire was loosing it, French accent clearly detectable in his voice as he pointed and laughed.
"Da." Ebony added, also bearing a Russian accent. He's come downstairs with Celestia, who wasn't facing down Discord or anything. Instead, she was lying down on the floor with glasses, reading the paper. Occasionally she might look up, but there wasn't anything to see, so she'd roll her eyes and continue reading. "Medic is POOTIS." The grey unicorn then began doing the most exaggerated laugh ever. I could only hear these things, because the fire wasn't going out so I was desperately patting it out. It wasn't painful at all, god no, but it just felt...wrong to be on fire.
"Ooooh, your gun shoots medicine, I'm really scared." Sky groaned from the rafters. Every one of my male friends had opted to speak with the voice of a TF2 character.
"Mmph, mm-ph imph mm-hmmph." Solar yelled. Nobody was helping. Through all of this, Discord was just kicking my ass and laughing. He might destroy Equestria, maybe level a city, convert the rainclouds to milkshake? Oh no: just set the psychopath on fire. Just because that's important for Gods of Mayhem.
"Is nopony going to help him?" I heard Luna ask. The answers were pretty much the easiest thing to predict.
"Nope."
"Non."
"Njet."
"UUUUH, NO."
"Mm."
"Fine, I guess it's up to the goddess to help..." Luna muttered.
"HECK NO." Inferno yelled. I heard somepony being tackled to the ground, and then saw Luna lying with Inferno pinning her down. Celestia was chuckling, and rolling her eyes.
"Help!" I shouted, desperate for somepony to help.
"No way." Sky shouted back.
"Discord: PLEASE HELP!" I shouted again. I'd finally gotten to the brink of losing it, and was asking the very guy who'd set me on fire to put me out.
"Mmmm..." Discord tapped his chin thoughtfully, reclined sideways over the arm of his squeaky-toy throne. "...Maybe...what can you do in return? I don't work for free!" I already had an idea in mind.
"I can piss them off to no end for you. All you need to do is amplify my voice and give me endless breath. I've got an idea."
"Deal, then. Here. We. Go." Discord snapped his fingers, and it felt like my voicebox had doubled in size.
"Aaah, much better." I grinned, sounding quite evil. I heard 6 heads turning.
"Is doctor going to...?" Ebony asked.
"Oui." Fire sighed.
"Medic, don't y'all do it!" Inferno began yelling.
"Frickin' Medic's a-"
"MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEM." I yelled. It was so loud, a few windows shattered somewhere else in the castle, Sky and Rainbow fell from the rafters, I could see Luna and Celestia conjuring some earplugs for themselves, and everypony else was screaming. I couldn't hear their screams, I was MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEM'ing. Finally I stopped. The moment I stopped, Inferno collapsed.
"Y'all're kiddin' me with that..." he groaned. "Stupid goddarn MEEM..." Then he fully passed out.
"Bloody MEEM!" Berry shouted. "Ya bleedin' idiot! Ah'm droonk, ye don't have an excuse!"
"Surrender? Now help." I smirked, eye twitching slightly.
"Never! We won't help you if you'll do thing like that!" Twilight shot back angrily. She trotted right in front of me, her eyes reflecting the flames that hadn't gone out. "And what about Inferno? We're not helping until he's awake!"
"Wrong answer. MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEM." I shouted in her face. ~~Twilight's face melted due to meem~~ The lavender unicorn was thrown through the palace doors, down some stairs, and out of sight. Next, I turned to the others. "Anypony else want to disagree?"
"Njet. Medic is credit to team." Ebony quickly replied, cantering up beside me.
"Yeah, gotcha." Sky added, flying above us.
"But of course." Fire replied, slowly trotting up with boots clanking on the marble floor.
"Mm-hmm." Solar mumbled, the Afterburner levitated to his side. We were ready for action, prepared for any shit Discord could throw at u-
-snap-
"YOU'RE ALL ON FIRE!" Luna shouted.
"Didn't hurt." Sky replied casually.
"Da." Ebony replied.
"Ooh, I love it when you speak with that accent." Celestia cooed lovingly at him. "Use it in bed next time."
"Da."
Suddenly, there was the sound of doors swinging violently open.
"ELEMENTS ASSEMBLE!" Twilight called. Suddenly, everything turned Japanese as the girls began jumping around and gathering their necklaces. Light shone everywhere, Fire started having a seizure, and the girls were shouting 'PCHAAAAWWWWW' like really cliché ninjas. Finally, they all landed beside us, cracking the ground with eyes aglow. Then, it turned really cliché.
"Laughter!" Pinkie said firmly.
"Honesty!" Applejack added.
"Generosity!" Rarity smirked.
"Loyalty!" Rainbow called.
"Kindness!" Fluttershy said firmly.
"Magic!" Twilight added firmly, smirking as she called.
"And the Afterburner!" Solar yelled, trying to be impressive.
"Fuck off, that's mine." I growled, slapping the unicorn and tugging the flamethrower from his magic grasp. I stood on two legs. "To improve Solar's statement: Hellfire!"
"Oui." Fire cheered unenthusiastically. NOW we were ready: even after a year, my bronyhood was still going crazy. Fighting Discord alongside the Elements! Nice. I'd missed fighting Nightmare Moon with the Elements, but I'm not missing this one. The girls began to levitate, a wind whipping up as light shone brightly throughout the throne room. Twilight's eyes glowed white. Discord didn't look like he gave a toss: he was just sat drumming on the squeaky toys making up the armrest. It was difficult to see what happened as the rainbow hit Discord. Presumably, he slowly turned to stone. I immediately took the last opportunity to burn the bastard, running up with the Afterburner. He shrugged off the fire, but OH WELL. IT LOOKED COOL AT THE TIME. Finally, after ten seconds, the light cleared up. All that was left was a statue of Discord lying on the floor, not giving a toss. We'd won. The small saga was over: I knew that these chapters were over when he was defeated. However, considering we were hanging around with the Elements of Harmony, the peace wouldn't last. And that meant I'd have to write more chapters when we returned to Earth.
That is, if we wanted to return to Earth.

But that wasn't important: what was important was that both Princesses were nodding with approval and clapping. So that meant we'd get a ceremony that was highly related to Star Wars! WOOOOO!

SNEAK PREVIEW OF CHAPTERS TO COME!
The next day, Pinkie stole my hat and inadvertently released Balls McScratchy upon Equestria. We had to stop him before he reached the centre of Equestria, which was actually a black hole device.