I told you to go right

"Dok?" I called out. That morning, I brought the lads down to the labs, and to Dok. It was worth a try, even if it meant we missed dinner the night before in our haste to find a room to prepare for hats tomorrow.
"Ja?" replied the German voice, before he popped his head out of a cupboard. His curious look faded as he realised that I had brought others with me; more accurately, the lads. "Thunder, remember when I explained it's difficult to share things between 8 people?"
"Aye," I replied, "But do you also remember how there's still a huge pile of hats and stuff in the middle of the warehouse that neither of us wanted?" Medic paused.
"Ja...?" he answered cautiously.
"Well, though neither of US want it, what about these guys?" I replied, gesturing to the others. Inferno gave a wave, not removing the blank look from his face. Dok just facehoofed.
"Grah, scweinhundes!" he growled, before sighing. "Fine. Fine!" He gestured to the door leading to the warehouse. "Shall we move?"
"Alright, Doktor." Fire replied on behalf of all of us. Dok lead us into the warehouse, and instead of going straight down the centre aisle, we hung a right, and ended up in an area numbered '30, 40, 50', respectively. The crates here were old and rusty, with a lot of webs on each. So, basically, we were opening Salvaged crates with Medic. The contents of these would tend to be rare, and it was more than likely we'd be fighting over Strange Originals, Gunslingers, PDAs, Machinas, and such like. I'm not sure why we'd need much of it, seeing as how there's a wedding in only 3-4 days, I forget how many. I don't think we'd need Minisentries, missiles, and Tracer rounds at the wedding. Then again: There's probably going to be the one Changeling that tries crashing the wedding on his own, and then I can kick him outside and decapitate him.
Heeeeaaaddssss...
Shut up, you.

"I think this Unusual Trophy Belt suits me." Inferno smirked as we left the warehouse. The Sunbeams coming from the crocodile tooth band illuminated the hallway as we exited the lab at 6:00 in the evening. I had stored my stuff back in my wardrobe in Luna's Bed-chambers. Quite literally, with the amount of lethal weapons inside it, a 'war'-drobe. "Really illuminates the way I see things."
"Mm." I nodded as I ate a Sandvich. It was rather rejuvenating, I must say, but it tasted like a chicken burger, which is good. Because I like chicken burgers, and the best part was that these would keep regenerating in my pocket. I was the only one who didn't get an Unusual today. But, when I opened that one Eerie Crate, I received a haunted Wraith Wrap, which is cool, because the Ponyfied version stretched all the way down to the base of my neck, and also looked awesome. Besides that, I did obtain a Fire Axe, a Strange Gunslinger, a Strange SMG, a Strange Bottle, and a Quadwrangler. Well, one of the Quadwranglers. Medic got the other. The thing with the small tube attached to my wrist was that it made me feel a damn slight dizzy, since it 'pumped blood from my heart, where it's not needed, to my shooting arm, where it is!'
I couldn't wait to explain that to Lulu. But then again, it was easy to remove, so the only evidence that I'd ever been wearing it was the fact that I'd pass out at random moments for about 10 minutes after removing it. "Chaps," I said to break the silence after finishing my sandvich, "Do you think we should try reverse-engineering these things? Start up a company, the new Mann Co.?" We all paused.
"...hmm..." Was the group reply.
"We should think about this later. All that matters now is me not missing dinner with the other Assassins." I sighed.as I trotted away to go get something nice on. "See you guys later." We'd hired an entire restaurant to accomodate all of the survivors of the battle, which was a good 40 less than we started with. So, there was only about 1000 of us. Rarity's information the days before was actually wrong. And, those who died actually fell to their deaths Halo Reach style, which is embarassing. For them, at least.
After a few minutes of walking, I reached Luna's room. I raised a hoof to the door, and knocked. It opened, and Luna rolled her eyes at the things I was carrying. She opened door and allowed me inside.
"Are you just going to keep bringing weapons and clothing back here? Because I think that you might be stealing all this." Luna sighed, walking up beside me. I couldn't hear her that well, and I immediately ripped the Quadwrangler from my arm. Blood slowly trickled down my arm as I put a hoof to my wrist to find my pulse as my eyes began to roll around.
"Meh..." I groaned as I passed out, falling forwards and being caught by Luna.

I sat up in bed the next day. I knew I had gone to the dinner, but I couldn't remember what happened. My head was clear, but I couldn't remember. In bed beside me was Luna, Nightmare, and...Spitfire. Spitfire? I blinked. The golden mare was lying flanks up on top of Luna, and Nightmare on top of her. "...why?" I murmured. I rubbed my forehead with my hooves, and got out of bed, before trudging to the bathroom. I had a minor headache, so I assume I got drunk the night before, but the fact that I got laid by THREE mares? How in the hell did I do that?!
I coughed and looked in the mirror. I looked tired, my mane was normal, and my eyes were glowing blue.
Wait, WHAT.
I sharply grabbed the mirror and leaned forward to inspect it. My eyes, deep blue as they were, were emitting blue light. It was faint, but it was there. I breathed to calm myself, and thought over what it could be. "OK. OK. Right. Curses. Have I touched anything cursed recently?" I paused and thought. Then, it hit me. "The Eyelander." I nearly ran out of the en suite and looked for the gruesome blade. Amidst the dresses on the floor, one of which I assume belonged to Spitfire, I found the weapon leaned against the wardrobe. The blade was coated in green blood, and the central spine of the blade was glowing a ghostly, but faint, blue. I immediately knew what happened.

12 hours earlier...

"HAAAAAVE AT 'EM, LADS!" I yelled loudly, before firing the Loch and Load at a group of staff, gibbing them into green chunks that rained from the ceiling, and then swinging my blade into the neck of a Waiter that had snuck up behind me. His head was quickly lopped off, and the Changeling disguise dropped. The armoured insect fell to the floor. I laughed loudly and...Scottishly(?) at the rain of dismembered limbs as I drank from a bottle of whiskey and crouched over the corpse. "Oh, fat lotta good that bloody Soldier trainin' did ye: I'M DROONK!" The other teams at my table were laughing at the massive explosion of limbs. Only Luna seemed unimpressed, seeing as how a glut of Changeling blood sprayed into her Marijuana Salad. She wore a frown and stared straight ahead.
"You're drunk." she groaned, standing up and trotting over to me. She placed a hoof around my shoulder as the other assassins bid me farewell for the evening and returned to their meals. "Let's get you home." As we headed to the door, another hoof wrapped around my shoulder. It was yellow, and the mare on the other side turned out to be Spjtfire. She had a slightly drunk face, and a bottle of whiskey in her other hoof.
"I'mma comin' home with yoou, Thunder!" she giggled, before pecking me on the cheek. Luna looked incredibly annoyed. I laughed, and gave the bottle of alcohol in my hooves to her.
"Cheer up, lass!" I slurred. "Have some o' me bottle o' scrumpeh!" Luna kept her death glare straight ahead and grabbed the bottle with her free hoof.
"Hmmph, I'll need it to put up with you being drunk." she groaned, before swigging the bottle. Harmless, right?
Nope.avi.

30 seconds later...

"Well," Luna began, "I think the alcohol has a delayed kick." Just then, what seemed to happen was she suddenly had every sexual urge inducing drug, spell, drink, and curse ever created poured into her system. Immediately, she paused, and shook her head with a slightly dazed expression on her face. Her cheeks flushed red, her wings immediately went erect, and her horn glowed gently.
"Oh..." she moaned, tensing her flanks. Spitfire rubbed a hoof under my chin and licked my face. It was weird, but I was drunk. "W-Wow...l-let's get back to my chambers..." Luna lit her horn brighter, and we appeared back in her bedroom. Nightmare came out of my body, and then I had my first four-way since I arrived in Equestria.

The next morning, a bunch of hours later, but slightly earlier than 12 hours later...

"Christ." I whispered, pulling my eye-lid down with a hoof. The blue glow was still there, and didn't seem to be relenting at any point. "Bloody hell, that's staying there." I thought deeply as I splashed cold water onto my face, before checking the clock. 3:50 A.M. Maybe a walk would clear my head?
I turned off the tap, dried my face with a hooftowel, and put my boots on. From what I had learned from all my early mornings, the Pegasi weather schedule for night involved low temperatures and morning dew, even in summer. But it was going into the start of Autumn, so said weather would seem normal, and it'd give me an excuse to wear my jacket, hat, boots, and Loch and Load in my saddle bags. The Eyelander had its own sheath on my back, just in case I needed to take heads. Just before I walked out of the door, there was a knock. Swiftly, I yanked the doors open, and stood on the other side was Colgate with some letters.
"...hi." I said.
"Umm...hi." she replied cautiously. Don't notice my eyes, don't notice my- "Hey, what's up with your eyes?"

Shit.