The Joker and The Rose.

As i stood there, surrounded by knocked out ponies the one thing i felt the most was disappointment, i had really hoped for an epic battle or maybe a showoff with the gray pony wielding that fairly large axe. But no, it seems that they all decided to take a nap at the same time. So there i was left standing.

"Well... that was anticlimactic." I took a few steps towards the pony that had been referred to as 'Captain' and knelt next to him.

Checking his pulse and opening his eyelid i came to the conclusion that he was alive but his body had gone through some kind of shock.

So was the case with everybody else it seemed, i saw limbs twitch and some of them groaned but they were all knocked out cold.

Suddenly i heard a low humming sound coming from behind me, i turned around but saw nothing. The humming still came from behind me and i checked if something was stuck on my back, it was then i saw that the thing humming was the ruby that sat in its socket at the end of the swords hilt. The ruby was glowing brightly, making everything around it look like somebody spilled a bucket or red paint.

I took the sword from under my arm and looked closer at the shining gem. I touched it and immediately it stopped both glowing and humming, like somebody had switched off the light.

"Well that was rather strange. Oh well, i better get out of here before the ponies decide to wake up."

I looked around for somewhere to go. I was back in the large cave but now it was empty of chained up slaves and all the dogs had been massacred and thrown in a pile. The elevator didn't seem to go any higher since the chain went up through a hole in the roof that was smaller than the elevator cage itself.

"So i came down here and got thrown into the hole for nothing, great!"

Well that was not exactly true, i had been given a sword with somebody supposedly living inside it and a book written in archaic nonsense.

It could be worse. I decided to head into a tunnel to look for a way out. The reason i chose that tunnel is because it was the only one that did not reek of death and it also seemed oddly familiar.

After walking for a while i came to a door, but not just any door, on the door was a crudely scribbled note that said "Knock before entering if you want to live." with my handwriting.

"This is the door to my dorm in MIT!" I flung the door opened and saw what i always saw 6 pm after returning from a day of studies, the ground zero that was my room. It seems that me alone is not the only thing Star Swirl brought here, he had decided to take my entire dorm room with me.

Flipping the light switch yielded no response from the lamp in the roof. Big fucking surprise there.

I picked up the glowing yellow crystal in my pocket and held if up to provide light. On the walls i saw posters that would fit somebody who was forever stuck 20 years in the past. Iron Maiden, Ac/Dc, Queen, Nirvana and several other rock band posters decorated the walls like a flag, representing the best music genre ever made. Of course it also had other posters of more modern bands like Swedish House Mafia and Daft Punk, but the rock and metal was dominant in occupying the walls.

I walked up to the bed and dragged my duffel bag out from underneath it. I put the bag on the bed and started rummaging through one of the drawers. After packing some spare clothes i started going through my more private things. My golden zippo lighter, my great grandfathers old tobacco pipe in beautiful yet simple ivory that he had given me on my 16th birthday a few months ago, i had never smoked before.

After packing all the good old memories i moved onto the bad, not as old memories. I took out a metal box, a single 3 digit combination lock kept the lid closed.

I sighed. "You promised me that you would be back." I entered the combination and the padlock clicked.

I opened the lid and i felt my heart drop into my stomach as i saw the content. A tin necklace depicting the ancient hammer Mjölnir and a photo of a girl smiling at the camera. The girl was short, much shorter than me, her hair was a mix of brown and dark red. She was wearing a simple dark green jacket, blue jeans and a pair of converse on her feet. She had a pair of glasses with dark frame and brown deep eyes.

"Why did you have to go on that study trip to Florida?" I asked the girl in the photo, almost expecting an answer.

I put everything along with the strange book i had gotten from the chest earlier in the duffel bag.

Next i moved onto my closet, i opened the double doors and picked out my most prized possession, the one thing i could not simply go without. My electric guitar. "Hello Anastasia, long time no seen." I carefully placed her in the protective case, put all the boxes with string and such necessities in the bag and then hung the case over my back. After some pondering i decided to remove all the posters from the walls and take them with me. My bag was now quite heavy and i felt that everything was taken care off.

So with a last precaution to make sure that nobody would potentially abuse the last things in the room i couldn't take with me i lit the bed on fire with my zippo, i saw how the flames spread troughout the room as i ran out the door and down the tunnel.

After a solid 5 minutes of jogging i started hearing the tunnel cave in behind me.

I arrive back in the mining chasm only to be greeted by the armored ponies from before.

The silvery stallion with the battle axe stepped forward.

"We got you this time, no way for you to knock us out this time." He spoke.

'Shit, i guess they finally decided to act seriously, no way to escape this time. They are far too many even though their fighting is horrible'

I sighed. "So be it... I surrender!" I put my hands in the air.

The stallion looked slightly surprised at my sudden cooperation.

"Okay, wasn't expecting that. Put down the things you got there, step forward and get down on your knees."

I did as the stallion said and put everything on the ground.

"Storm Rider, cuff him." The stallion nodded towards a female unicorn next to him.

I saw how the unicorn approached, her horn glowing a bright cyan and a pair of cuffs hanging in the air with the same glow around them. The cuffs slid around my wrists and snapped together.

"Ooh! gettin' kinky are we?" i asked the mare as she stepped behind me.

"Alright, bag him and get him to the ship." The large gray stallion gave me a mischievous smile.

"Sir yes sir." The mare behind me seemed to enjoy that order a bit too much for comfort.

Suddenly everything went black when a bag went over my head.

"Hey! Is this really necessary? Its not like i-"

I was rudely interrupted by the feeling of getting kicked in the back of the head. It somehow became even darker, the last thought in my head was 'Oh no, not again,'. Before i hit the ground.

--- Silver Shield ---

"That's for knocking me out earlier. Dick!" Storm Rider said as she walked over to the creatures limp body. I saw how her horn started glowing as the magic aura enveloped the creature. But then i saw a puzzled look on Storm Riders face.

"I... I can't lift him!" She exclaimed, trying desperately to lift the creature with her spell.

"It doesn't work!" Storm looked back at me with a queer expression.

"Just carry the darn thing." I said to a pair of soldiers. They walked up the creature and heaved it onto a stretcher, suspended between them.

I was going to send a scout down the tunnel that the creature came from to check where it had gotten those things but the tunnel had collapsed.

5 hours later on board Silver Shields airship.

I was never a heavy drinker, i maybe drank some wine to the food or light cider. So i didn't know how a proper hangover felt like. But i imagined it being like getting kicked in the head by a horse... turns out i was wrong. Getting kicked probably felt much worse.

"Uuuuugh... did somebody get the number on that truck?" I was lying on what felt like a straw bed.

I opened my eyes and saw that it was dark, and i don't mean like 'somebody turned off the light' dark. I mean 'liquorice candy in deep space' dark.

"Don't know what a 'truck' is hombre, but it looks like you had a rough time." I heard a voice say in a slight spanish accent, couldn't really pinpoint from what direction it came though.

"Do i know you?" i asked the voice.

"Don't think so, never seen you before." the voice replied.

"Good, then i know i'm not in hell." i closed my eyes.

The voice laughed, "Not yet esé. But don't you worry. We on the way to the Equestrian capital, or so I've heard."  The owner of the voice seemed to be scratching something.

"And what's so special about that place?" I was not entirely sure if i liked going to a capital of any kind after what i had experience in the mines.

"Well for one you won't get eaten by anything, the ponies are vegetarians."

"Oh yeah... ponies... fucking ponies man! What did i ever do to them?" I shot my eyes open. "Maybe they are out for revenge after we turned them into lasagna!"

"Esé i don't know what you talking about, but from what i heard they want you because you some special magic."

"Whoop de doo! Ain't i special?" I asked nobody in particular.

A second unfamiliar voice decided to join the conversation. "Chucho! Are you talking to yourself again?" This time it sounded like a latino girl was talking, 'another Spanish person, the heck is this, border control?' i thought to myself.

"No Catalina, The guy that the guards were talking about is in the cell opposite me, looks like he drank too much tequila tho!" The first voice replied, laughing like a hyena.

"Oh, i thought you might have gone crazier than you already are!" The second voice laughed hysterically.

"Very funny Catalina. Hey you desnudo!" The first voice shouted.

I finally sat up and discovered that it was not completely dark after all, just the 2x2 meter room i was in.

As i looked forward i saw that i was in a jail cell, metal bars and everything. Opposite my cell on the other side of the lit up hallway was another cell, and in that cell stood one of them dogs from before, looking at me. It was wearing the stereotypical Mexican poncho and had a long thin handlebar moustache, no sombrero though, which was kind of a surprise since that would have completed the set, and make me unable to hold back my laughter.

"I'm guessing you are 'Chucho' then?" I asked the dog.

"Si esé, my mother always called me that when i was young. Bless her kind heart." The dog was much shorter than the ones before, even though it was standing on its hind legs.

To my relief i saw that i was still wearing some of my clothes. jacket was gone along with my fedora and my boots, the rest was still on but my pockets had been turned inside out. I slowly started to stand up.

"You said something about a capital to somewhere?" With great difficulty i managed to get up and slowly walk over to a chair by the metal bars.

"Si, the capital of Equestria, What was it called Catalina?" The dog shouted at what i assumed was the cell next to mine.

"Baby we are going to Canterlot, all them rich ponies be gathering there with their posh, rich lifestyles and crazy clothes."

Canterlot... Canterlot... Canterlot... where have i heard that before? Suddenly i thought about something my little cousin once told me.

"... and so this big mean black pony was there and it was all nasty with holes in its legs and bug wings, it was like a big bug, a big nasty bug, and it went to Canterlot with all these other nasty bug ponies and they beat princess Celestia and Twilight and all her friends and then suddenly there was like this HUUUUUGE rainbow that twilight and her friends shot at the big nasty bug pony and the bug pony was like 'nooooooo' and then..." I couldn't remember that last part because at that point my brain had ejected itself from my head and was crawling towards the fireplace. What i do remember was that my cousin had been talking about that new tv-show written by Lauren Faust, it had created some huge explosion on the internet for some reason. I had watched all the episodes up to the last of season 3 and to be perfectly honest the story and plot of it was amazing, i just wished that it had been directed at a slightly mature audience since a 9 year old would never be able to connect all the dots. However due to its... childish theme i could only in good conscience give it a 'Meh...' 5/10.

"So i am currently stuck in the My little pony: Friendship is magic world huh?" I said to myself. "Cool... i guess."

It didn't honestly come to me as a shock since i figured something like that had happened when i met the second talking animal in one day. But now i felt that i had an advantage, because even if i liked it or not those episodes had banged every single piece of information about the show into my head. That's what i get for having such a good memory. But now since i am here i can use it to get myself out.

"Say Chucho, where are we?" I turned to the dog who was now sitting down playing with a piece of string.

"Oh this?" He knocked on the wooden wall he was leaning against. "We are currently 'honored guests' aboard Captain Silver Shields flagship (and only ship) the HMS Skylark. The guards told me to relay you that information when you woke up."

"B-E-A-fucking-Utiful" Was my only response.

"Look Esé, they may be taking me and Catalina because we were robbing all them supply lines. But you something special. They taking you to see Celestia, nu-uh, bad news there. She wants something you have and if you want any hope of staying out of any more trouble, i suggest you giver it to her." The dog explained.

"Okay i guess, i wonder what it is i have that she wants?" I asked myself.

"Dunno esé. Hey Griffin bastardo!" Chucho started banging the right wall of his cell.

"There's more of you?" I asked trying to look into the cell that he was banging towards. Suddenly i saw how a great cloud of black feathers flew out between the metal bars as something approached. Out between the bars popped a griffins head, except instead of the bright colors usually seen on a griffin this one was completely black, looked more like a crow than an eagle.

"Oh great, so is this a zoo or what?" I asked.

"You could almost think so." Said Catalina from the cell to my right.

I looked over to the black griffin again. "So what's your name?"

The griffin looked at me with its red eyes and spoke with a croaky voice, "My full name is Tony T. Hawx but my friends called me Tony for short."

That's it! I am going to kill the next living thing with a pun in its name.

So we spent the next few hours talking with each other. They told me a bit about Equestria, the griffin dominion and the the diamond dogs, pretty much a history lesson of Equis, which is what most people called the entire land that held Equestria, The Griffin Dominion and Gem Fido, plus some other places. I also learned that Chucho and Catalina had been captured in an attempted ambush on this ship but failed horribly. Catalina was apparently a feline creature from some jungle area far to the south, at first i didn't believe her, but as i saw a black, slender and furry arm stretch from out her cell and into mine i was convinced. Especially after seeing long claws extend and rake down into the wooden wall creating a long scratch mark.

Tony told us about how his village had been burnt down by diamond dogs and he had been taking prisoner in the same den i was in. When the ponies raided the den he was put in a cell because while griffins were generally only shunned in equestrian communities. The black gryphons which were a different breed of griffins however was infamous for raiding, plundering and pillaging pretty much everything that was not their own land. Every griffin tribe had a set of villages and territories in the east mountains and it was dangerous to travel there.

After several hours we heard hoof steps coming from down the hallway.

"Great, they are finally bringing us food." Said Chucho with a happy tone.

"I sure hope so, i am starving." I said, holding my growling stomach.

I saw how two ponies pushing a cart down the hallway stopped in front of every cell and put in a tray of different kind of foods. Catalina in the cell next to mine got raw fish, which i could hear her digging in the second the food tray was inside the bars of her cell. Chucho got a bucket of rough cut gems that he one by one devoured with great eagerness. Tony or 'Hawx' received the same food as Catalina but the fish had been cooked instead. I got a large bowl of trail mix consisting of fruits and nuts. The guard said: "We don't really know what you are or what you eat so we just threw some bunch together, there should be enough proteins from the nuts, but if you rather fancy meat just tell us."

"I have nothing against nuts and fruits but some fish would indeed be nice." I said to the pony as i was downing the mix with my hand.

"Alrighty, i'll tell the cook that." The guard walked back to the cart and they both went back through the hallway and out of the brig.

After we had downed the grub we continued our conversation.

"So, You know all our names, now tell us yours." Chucho asked me with his still pretty hilarious Rednexican accent.

"Oh right sorry." I stood up and bowed deeply. "My name is Artemis."

"Heh, and i thought my name was strange." Said Chucho.

"Chucho? I guess so, isn't it Spanish for something?." I asked.

"Oh my name is not really Chucho, my real name is Ramon Carlos Pablo Garcia Sanchez de Niña Benito Rodriguez." He bowed back. Straining to do so since his body's physiology limits him greatly to standing with his back straight, let alone bend it individually with his legs standing straight.

"Uuuuh, is it okay if i just call you Ramon?" I asked, slightly befuddled about how he could even remember his own name.

"Si that is fine, it would take too long to say my full name when speaking to me." Ramon said.

"Yeah if i told you my full name it would take all night... or day, i don't know since there are no windows down here."

I decided it was time to sleep, mainly because a guard announced that the lights were about to go off and that we should sleep. So that is exactly what we did... almost. I was lying on the straw bed looking up at what i presumed was the ceiling. I had no idea since it was pitch black. I could never sleep, no matter how hard i tried. I could just lie down for hours and hours even when i feel so tired that i can't move my body, yet nothing ever happens. I just lie there completely awake, but somehow my body still manages to rest. This causes me to never have any form of dreams either. No matter how hard i try nothing works. Even with sleeping pills or drugs i just go into some dreamless coma like state where i am fully conscious but my whole body is completely crippled. It is the greatest fear i have. To be trapped inside my own body unable to move. If i ever have a nightmare that is what it would be. An eternity of dreamless, sleepless, completely black void where i am unable to move the slightest bit, sounds a bit like death.

'Baaah! I gotta stop with this existential bullcrap!' I thought to myself.

While lying there on that straw bed i did a quick recap in my head about today's events. Systematically going through everything that has happened to me so far.

'Okay so i am stuck aboard a ship heading towards the Equestrian Capitol of Canterlot, i am no longer on earth but instead in the 'my little pony: friendship is magic' world... interesting. There are obviously some highly intelligent lifeforms living here. We got diamond dogs, ponies, griffins, feline cat creatures and god knows what else.

I need to find out the reason behind my capture, i also need to find some way to escape the ship and find a way back to earth, if that is even possible.

We got Ramon the Mexican dog who appears to be somewhat experience in combat. Tony Hawx who is a gryphon, note; never call him griffin, he somehow knows when you say griffin and he goes mental when you do.

Then we got the Latina chick Catalina, not much known about her, i haven't even seen her full on since she is in the cell right next to me.'

Then we got the captain Silver shield and his subordinate Storm Rider i think... can't bloody remember. I just know i wan't to smash her head against the wall repeatedly.'

I decided to end my recap there and stretched my hand out to the bowl of trail mix, i scooped up the last and dropped it in my mouth. The nuts and such crunched between my teeth.