The Joker and The Rose.

= Artemis =

I was sitting on the helms deck, my legs hanging over the edge above the main deck with my smoking pipe in mouth, reading a log of collected letters sent between the officers in the Equestrian military. We crossed over from Gem Fido to Equestria. It was easy to notice, everything was more colorful, like somebody had changed the color filtering on my eyes.

We had left the mountains behind us and were now sailing over green plains. I could see several roads snake across the landscape below.

I turned back to the log.

... Admiral Drake summoned from Stalliongrad to Canterlot by Princess Celestia, in his fleet:

8 full rigged ships, 10 carracks, 6 frigates and personal vessel.

Lieutenant Azure dispatched to Manehattan, in her fleet: 2 full rigged ships, 2 carracks.

Captain Bloodhoof dispatched to Maneapolis, in his fleet: 4 full rigged ships.

Captain of Celestias personal elite squad Silver Shield sent on mission by Princess Celestia for investigation in Gem Fido, in his fleet: VegoPunk's new prototype ship HMS Skylark Kon-Tiki III, is mine now! :3.

Edited that last part myself, gotta have the logs updated after all.

"Hmm, better avoid Bloodhoof's fleet when we get to Maneapolis." I blew out a puff of smoke and turned to Ramon standing at the wheel with Onyx next to him.

"How far to Maneapolis?" i asked the changeling.

"Now that we have entered Equestria the pylons should be able to draw more magic from the land, so less than a day," she answered as she was looking over the map she was holding in front of her, the map was suspended by magic from her horn.

"Good." i closed the log and put it aside. I lied down on my back, closed my eyes and took a nap.

My nap was quickly interrupted however by one of the lookout griffins, i had chosen them for lookout since they had eagle eyes.

"Ship approaching on starboard side!" the lookout shouted down to us.

I quickly got up, grabbed a spyglass i had found in the great cabin beneath us and peered towards the direction that the griffin was pointing. Sure enough i could see a ship just off the horizon.

I jumped down the stairs and ran to the workshop. I opened the door and looked inside.

Starlight and Tony were sitting opposite each other finnicking with a pile of glass containers. They looked at me standing in the doorway.

"Grab a bomb, a long fuse and meet me outside." i said quickly before i closed the door.

Nigel approached me as i was standing on the deck.

"Nigel, good. I need you to tell your brothers to gather the crew on the main deck, i have a plan."

Tony and Starlight came out of the workshop.

"Are you sure these will work?" Starlight asked as she handed me a red stick and a fuse.

"Yes, with the gun powder, rust and aluminium powder mixed in the cylinder package and the fuse we will have some excellent fireworks," i said as i put the fuse down the small hole in the red stick, the fuse was just thick enough to fit and hold in place.

Onyx flew down from the helm, "The ship flies with the Equestrian flag, with the ship logs we found in the cabin we have identified the vessel, it belongs to Captain Iron side." she said to me.

"Okay so they are enemies, good."

"How is that good?" The changeling asked.

"It means i get to try out my new toy." i held up the stick.

"What is that?" Onyx inspected the red cylinder.

"I am glad you asked, this is my boomstick." i held up the stick of dynamite.

The crew started assembling on the main deck, i stood above on the helms deck.

"Okay, i want the diamond dogs and griffins to go below deck and hide, the ponies are going to dress up in the soldier armor," i turned to Onyx, she had disguised herself as Silver Shield. "Now, i want you to distract them as long as possible, i will sneak aboard, when i get back i want you to put as much distance as you can between their ship and ours." i instructed her.

Onyx nodded, "I hope you know what you're doing." she said in the gruff voice of the pony captain, she looked at the ship getting significantly larger.

"Me too." i answered.

= Onyx =

Iron side's ship pulled up alongside ours facing the opposite direction, their ship was much larger so the decks were not even. A gangplank shot out and landed on the main deck. A large stallion walked aboard, his right side was completely covered in metal. 'Cybernetics' i thought to myself, 'now i know why they call him iron side.'

With the large stallion came 4 equestrian soldiers, donning the regular golden armor of the sun goddess, their reflective shine made me squint my eyes and hold up a hoof to shield them.

"Silver Shield!" the stallions booming voice made me jump. "I believe you are on the wrong course, your orders were to investigate the magic anomaly in Gem Fido and then immediately return to Canterlot."

"T-that is exactly what i am doing." i said in a slight nervous tone, it was hard to maintain my composure when facing the stallion, his robotic eye locked into mine. "Well it seems that your navigator is either blind or a fool, maybe both. You are on the course to Maneapolis," He leaned in closer to my face. "... and last time i checked that isn't where you are supposed to be going."

"W-well, i was going to Canterlot, but we were running low on rations so i decided to make a quick stop at Maneapolis and-"

"Don't give me excuses!" the stallion's voice boomed again. "I should just skin you alive and hang you up as sail, but i don't honestly think the men would stand the smell of your sorry hide!" he continued.

"S-sir, i don't think t-that will be necessary." i stuttered.

"And speaking of men, what the hell happened to yours? They look like they have been slaving away in a diamond dog den their entire life! I can see why you need the rations" The half-metal pony pointed towards our disguised crew and laughed. "Not to mention the fact that you don't sail with the Equestrian flag on the top of your mast, HAVE YOU LOST ALL SENSE CAPTAIN SILVER?!!" The stallions saliva covered my face, i wiped it off.

'This is getting out of hand, where the fuck is Artemis?' i thought to myself.

As if on cue i could hear the clanging of swords coming from the other ship. Iron Side turned around, "What is that racket?" he shouted up to the other side. In response one of Iron Side's stallion came flying over to our ship, he landed on the deck in a painful looking position, "What the royal fuck!" Iron Side exclaimed as he looked up towards the deck of his own ship.

Upon the railing stood Artemis, his sword drawn.

"Hey cyborg, i think you got a screw loose, COME AND GET IT!" he shouted as he turned around and smacked his behind with a hand.

I facehoofed.

Iron side was furious. "Why you insolent little...!" I could see how a large sword extended from his right robotic leg as he walked up the gangplank, followed by his soldiers. "Stand back Silver shield, i will show you how to properly deal with thi-" he was cut of by Artemis jumping on his face.

= Artemis =

I was hiding in a barrel on the forecastle deck when Iron side's ship pulled up alongside ours, their ship was much larger so when the gangplank shot out it fell several meters before hitting ours. I didn't really understand why they would set it higher than ours since we were floating on air, size really shouldn't matter when walking across air ships.

I quickly got the answer to that question, the large stallion walking across to our ship was huge, his right side was completely covered in metal, pipes and other such things. 'Auto-Mail' i thought to my self, 'that explains the name Iron side.'

He seemed to think himself above the former captain of this ship, that is why he wanted his ship to look dominant and intimidating.

I didn't wait for Onyx and Iron to start talking as i jumped out of the barrel, i stood up on the railing and leaped over to the other ship. It wasn't much of a jump since their ship was less than a meter from ours.

I grabbed onto a opening that was used for cannons and pulled myself inside, thankfully no cannon was occupying the opening and somebody had forgot to close the little hole i had crawled in through.

Once i was inside i scanned my surroundings, i was currently in the second lowest floor of the ships 4 floors.

There were no soldiers down here, the lower floors only had the storage and quarters, everybody was on the higher floors, probably waiting for their captain to finish with Onyx, 'I hope she is doing well' i thought to myself.

It was the storage i was looking for, but not the storage where they keep the regular supplies, no i wanted the magazine,  with the gunpowder and other things that preferably go boom.

It didn't take me long to find the magazine, i grabbed a small keg full of gunpowder and opened the lid, i carefully placed the dynamite stick i had brought with me in a small hole i made in the powder and pulled the fuse away from the keg. The fuse was around 1 meter long so i had plenty of time to get back on the ship and put some distance between us and the soon to be fireworks. I pulled out my lighter and set the fuse alight.

I quickly ran back to the opening i had pulled myself in through, i was about to crawl out when it hit me. 'What about the ones already on board our ship?'

"Shit, i need to lure them back to this ship," i said to myself.

Instead of crawling out i decided to run up the stairs, after going on for a while i reached the main deck.

On the deck stood a couple of pony soldiers, they looked my way when i threw up the door.

"You fuckers... never heard of an elevator?" i stood there panting.

"Who are you?" One of the armor clad ponies asked.

"Me? oh... just a... pirate..." i tried to catch my breath.

"Did he say pirate?" one of the ponies asked the other. "I think so," the other replied.

"Shouldn't we do something about that?" a third asked.

"Yes we should," one of the soldiers drew his word with his mouth, the other two with their hoofs.

"Ooh, things are starting to get interesting." my breathing was partially back to normal. I drew my sword and prepared for a fight.

The first pony to approach me lost his right hoof, the next one lost an eye, the third was unfortunate, i slipped with my sword and accidentally created a gash from his throat to his belly. I never knew i was such a natural when it came to melee combat, i had never even held a sword back on earth, yet this still felt strange, like the sword was guiding me.

A fourth pony approached from behind, i did a quick twirl sending his sword flying overboard, he rushed towards me but i used his own weight against him to launch the soldier towards our ship. That was thanks to my martial arts classes.

I jumped up on the railing to watch him fly but saw to my disappointment that he had already landed in a very painful looking position.

I noticed the half robot stallion looking at me, 'Time to have some fun' i thought.

I cupped my hands around my mouth and yelled, "Hey cyborg, i think you got a screw loose, COME AND GET IT!"

before i turned around and slapped my ass with my hand. I saw Onyx face palming, or was it facehoofing with these ponies?

"Why you insolent little...!" i could hear the Stallion saying before he walked up on the gangplank towards me, a large sword extending from his right leg.

"Stand back Silver shield, i will show you how to properly deal with thi-" was all he could shout back to Onyx before i jumped and planted my right foot on his face, i pushed away with my leg and landed safely on the deck of our ship.

"Now!" i yelled at the disguised unicorns that had been standing off by the side. Their horns quickly lit up as they used their magic to push the ships apart and send us off from the ship, the gangplank fell from the deck as the ponies barely managed to get aboard their own ship.

"Don't just stand there Silver Shield, take out that... thing!" Iron side shouted while pointing a metallic hoof at me.

"Nah, i don't think so." i could hear Onyx shout as she was enveloped in green flames and turned back into her own self.

"A changeling!? I should have known. Men, prepare to fire, i don't know what happened to Silver Shield and i don't honestly care, i want those freaks dead!" The half metal stallion shouted to his men.

I noticed how Onyx head dropped a little at the word freak. I just threw Iron Side a rude gesture by pressing my left arm across my right arms inside elbow and holding my right fist up.

It was about then i remembered that the ship in front of me was about to violently scatter across a very large area surrounding it.

"Shit, somebody get this ship moving before-" was all i could get out before an earth shattering explosion sent me flying across the deck.