What in the...

Damn it, dude wake up. What? Books, remember? You promised. You woke me up for books? Yes. You can be an ass sometimes. But I’m you. Alright, let me rephrase: We can be an ass sometimes. Makes sense. Now, can I go back to sleep? Nope. Why not? Books, lovely books. Look, she has about two hundred books. So? We can barely read through a book in one summer vacation. That’s because we are lazy. Oh yeah, so, the only fun we know have is reading? Yeah. Great, why don’t we just live in a library? Oh, good idea. No, remember Lesson Zero? Oh, we don’t want to be cupcakes. That’s cupcakes, the fan fiction. So what joke can we make about this? Turned into a dictionary? Nope, too... cliche. She is going to turn me into a preschooler’s learning book? Good. Fine, brain rewrite the line. Rewind, erase, and rephrase: Oh, we don’t want to be a preschooler’s learning book, do we? Good rewriting, and no, no we do not. Well, wake up, wonderful books. Are you sure these are even in English? What? In My Little Pony, they may speak English but they write in another language. Equestrian. Thanks, hold it, how did you know that? You searched it two days ago.

Why did I do that? Dude, how am I supposed to know? You’re my head. Oh. So why did I search that? You’re a socially awkward nerd who is obsessed with pop culture; do we need any more explanation? No, but you made me sad. Calm down, wimp. I will fill you with something terrible if you don't shut up. Like what? I will listen to a dramatic reading of Cupcakes and Rainbow Factory for twenty four hours. Okay man, calm down; just think about it. You are talking to a person who has a major knowledge of just about everything. Okay, okay, I promise. Right, now why did you wake me up again? You don’t remember? No. You idiot. Look, I’ve just woken up; tell me why you have woken me up. Books, but...they’re...in...Another...language. So, you basically woke me up for no reason? Well, can we read Equestrian? Yes, of course, I am completely fluent in a cartoon language. Look, stop being sarcastic, also, it isn't fake. What? Equestrian, it’s a real language, expect it’s said, not written. Well, that helps. No, I just wanted to annoy you. Perfect, you have made this diamond of a world into a shiny floater. Why? Well, I can’t read anything, also, I have no money, and also, I don’t know the laws. Well...You can steal some money. I will end you. You would have to kill yourself idiot. Oh, can it. Fine, what can we do? Go back to sleep? Nope, I will just fill your mind with crap. Screw you, I’m going back to sleep. J.A.R.V.I.S from Iron Man means Just A Rather Very Intelligent System, Iron Man has over forty suits, Iron Man's suits isn't made out of Iron, he is made out of a titanium alloy...Okay, shut up, please, just shut up.

Waking up now? Fine, just shut up, please. Wait, what are we going to do? Look around; Wait!? What? We could say we can’t read, and then they will teach us. They will just say ‘oh, it’s just memory loss, it will pass’. Oh, what about the ol’ derpy? What about her? Oh, wait, oh. What’s with the oh-s? I don’t know, I’m thinking about it. No, I’M thinking about it. Do we really need to read? I want to. I don’t care. But I want to, please. No. Pretty please. The physical appearance of please does not matter to me. Come on, please. Why do you want to read? How much did we read? Hey! We read fan fiction. But does that really help with school? It does. Oh okay, a fan fiction about an animal loving yellow Technicolor pony who is really an impostor really helps in maths, doesn't it? No, not really. Alright, what are we really doing? What can we do? Look around a bit. Can I just go back to sleep? No! Fine! My legs feel like tanks. It isn’t that bad. It feels like it. I feel like I’m in hell, my legs are burning. Hell? The devil is in hell, the devil is also known as the beast, the beast has a number, and it’s...Six, six, six, the number of the beast! Hell and fire...Stop it, man, I don’t have fingers, I can’t do devil horns. Imagine. I am not imagining myself with fingers doing the devil horns. Yes you are! I am...Goddamn it, I’m imagining it! As your mind, you can’t disobey me. Fine, just think properly. Can we have breakfast? Fine.