Chapters Lost cause: Harmonious Brutality
Prologue: One fatal mistake
It was a cloudy night. The moon and stars were covered by a thick layer of cloud, making it easy for me to sneak around, unnoticed.
I took a deep breath in through my nose. I could smell rain coming, maybe 5-10 minutes away.
"Perfect." I muttered to myself "rain washes away blood, giving me time to ru-"
My sentence was cut off short as my victim exited her shop. She walked slowly, taking in the warm air. I smirked. She should have known better, seeing as there's a serial killer on the loose.
That being me of course. That's right, me, Anthony Marin, nickname 'Ant', street name 'the Plague' or 'Plague' (because I'm as quick and efficient as the black plague), is a serial killer. One of the best killers in human history. I've killed nearly 200 people including, but not exclusive to; children, elders and babies. I am the most feared person alive today.
Anyway, back on topic.
My victim was ambling down the street. Her shop was 5.8 km away from her apartment, and there were a lot of alleyways along the way.
My plan was simple: wait until she's near an alley, then jump her and push her into said alley. Then proceed to kill her quietly, and let the cops find her corpse, just as I had done nearly 200 times, save for few that actually managed to put up a fight.
She was nearing the alley I had chosen. I readied myself. I quickly did a mental checklist (hey even serial killers are organised!)
'Knife? Check. Balaclava? Check. Bag to hold any valuables? Check. All there and accounted for.' I thought as I looked up.
She was about 10 metres away. I would regret this decision for a long time, but hey, the adrenaline struck early.
I launched out of my hiding place, making hardly any noise. But the lady still, somehow, managed to hear it. She whipped around, her eyes locking onto mine. A look of recognition came across her face, and she did what most normal people would as they looked into the eyes of the personification of the Plague. She screamed. The sound tore through the still air like a hot knife through warm flesh (one of my favourite analogies). Luckily for me, however, we were a bit away from anybodies' house, so no one came to her aid. That scream, however, hit me on a much more emotional level.
'She sounds exactly like Kate did, when she died.' I realised.
I set my jaw and dashed forward. She was still screaming, and only stopped when my knife plunged through her oesophagus, killing her.
I sighed and wiped my blade, looking around for any witnesses, that I probably would've taken my emotions out on. I was hoping that she'd put up some kind of fight, but she just stood there, screaming. I looked up from my now clean knife.
Then I spotted them. The cops. They had surrounded me as I had dealt the killing blow. It took me all of 5 seconds to realise what had happened. I was setup, played like a fiddle and all of those other things.
Now I'm a very optimistic person, but even I know when to give up. There were not just 20, not 40 but a whole fucking platoon of cops, all armed with guns. I only had my knife. I closed my eyes.
"Fuck me." I sighed as a loud voice spoke up.
"Put the weapon away!" It said. I looked up and saw a cop, probably an officer or something, with a megaphone.
"Fine" I said, going to put my knife down, but at the last second I flicked my wrist up, and with deadly precision, or luck, hit a random police officer in his left eye, killing him instantly.
A trigger happy fucktard then decided this would a good time to shoot. Luckily (I seem to be having a bit of that today) he only glanced my left shoulder. Mind you, it still really fuckin' hurt, but I was just glad that he didn't hit anything else.
I slowly put up my right arm (my left being nearly immovable) and surrendered. The officer guy then walked up to me, with a nightstick in his hands. I looked him dead in the eye as he swung and clocked me upside the head. I was unconscious before I hit the ground.
==========
I groaned as I was roused from my dreamless slumber. My head was pounding like you wouldn't believe, and my shoulder really fuckin' hurt. I groaned again and opened my eyes. I remembered what happened yesterday, how I got caught. I looked down and realised I was strapped to a large wooden chair, and had a large metal bucket over my head, with wires coming from my body on every vital area. I looked around, confused. My eyes rested on a large police man, obviously guarding me.
"Oi, fuckhead!" I called, trying to get a last couple of laughs in before I was executed.
The startled guard whipped around and looked at me, his expression turning from a surprised one, to a normal stoic face of a man whose supposedly 'seen it all' in a split second. In that second, however, I saw something in his eyes. Fear. I grinned at that.
"Wasn't execution made illegal in Vic in 1975?" I questioned
The guard smirked. "Yeah." He grunted. "But they brought it back, just for you!"
I smiled. "How sweet of them!" I said, my voice dripping with sarcasm. "Lets just get this over with. I wanna see which circle of hell I've been reserved for."
The guard smirked "Oi, Craig!" He shouted "He's awake!"
I glanced up, only to see, and I shit you not, a guy dressed up like the Grim Reaper. I could barely suppress my laughter as he walked, slowly, towards the electric chair, on which I was strapped.
"Anthony Marin!" He announced "You are accused, and proven guilty, of 1st degree murder, rape, tampering with evidence at a crime scene and jaywalking. The supreme courts have debated long and hard about your punishment, and have come to a conclus-"
"Blah, blah, blah" I interrupted "No one cares. Just pull the lever and make sparks fly!" I exclaimed a maniacal grin etched on my face.
The 'Reaper' seemed upset that I cut him off, so he leaned in close, his eyes glowing a sick green, and whispered, in a demonic voice "You will pay for what you have done. Hell is to good for the likes of you", before walking away. As he walked over towards the main controls, the guard looked over to me and said "Any last words, killer?"
I looked at him and said, with a completely straight face, "Come at me bro"
Thats when I felt the electricity, and, can I say, that was the most painful experience of my life. I lost control of all body functions. I shat, pissed and threw up, all at the same time while convulsing violently. Now, in my line of work, you experience pain. But this, oh boy this. I mentioned how the bullet hurt 'really fuckin' bad', but this was that pain, multiplied by like, a billion! All of a sudden, everything stopped. My nerves had been fried, letting me feel no pain, but basically guaranteeing my death. I sighed and closed my eyes. 'Wait, my knife's still in it's holster!' I realised. On the edge of my already strained hearing, I overhead the guard saying "Why is he glowing? Craig, look at this! He's glowing gree-" Thats all I could make out before my senses overloaded, and I closed my eyes for one last time (save for the spasm's as my body coursed with electricity).
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[Twilights perspective]
'For once,' thought Twilight Sparkle, as she took her evening stroll, 'We had a normal day here in Ponyville!'
Twilight had been living in Ponyville for nearly half a year, and almost everyday, something weird, unexplainable or just plain dangerous happened. She smiled at that thought. Even with all of it's weirdness, she couldn't imagine living anywhere else. For Ponyville was home to her 5 best friends, and she would never leave. 'Heh,' she thought. 'Maybe-'
Her thought was cut short as a large electrical burst made it's appearance. 'Wow!' Twilight thought 'That's a lot of raw power. And Rainbow said that there weren't going to be any storms today!'
Suddenly, seemingly out of nowhere, an electric green light started pulsating. Twilight looked at where it was coming from, and gulped audibly.
It was coming from the Everfree forest.
She thought about alerting her friends and asking for their help, but remembered that they were all busy. Well Applejack, Rarity and Fluttershy were doing their jobs (farming, dress making and caring for an injured animal, respectively) but Rainbow and Pinkie she wasn't sure about (Rainbow probably taking a nap, and Pinkie, well, who knows what that mare is up to?).
Twilight's inner debate ceased when another large electrical pulse bursted out from the area of the Everfree. She decided to investigate. As she made her way to the Everfree, she noticed that the source of the light and electricity wasn't too far in. Twilight sighed in relief. She only had to go in maybe 30 metres or so. Although she only had a little way to go, it took her a few minutes to steel her nerves.
'You know you're just stalling.' The little voice in her head told her.
'I know.' She admitted. 'But the Everfree forest is a really dangerous place!'
'But what if there's a pony that needs help?' The voice reasoned.
"Ok," Twilight stated aloud. "I'm goin-" Suddenly, the lights and electricity ceased, cutting her off.
Twilight's curiosity was piqued before, but now this thing in the forest had her undivided attention. She took a deep breath, and made her way into the forest.
Author's Note
Hey, to those who are reading this (if any).
If you guys enjoyed this, give me some feedback
For all you non Australians and/or people who just don't know: Vic is an abbreviated version of Victoria, the southern-most state in Australia, besides Tasmania.
Lost cause: Harmonious Brutality
Chapter 1: New worlds and unicorns
Twilight, expectantly, didn't run into any creatures (being so close to the forest's edge) and arrived at a clearing. Well, it wasn't so much of a clearing, as it was a large crater, smoke pouring out of it. She slowly edged towards it, wary of the many dangers that could appear at a moments notice. She tried peering over the edge, but only got a face full of smoke. While she was coughing and hacking, she noticed something stirring in the middle of the crater. Twilight, using her magic, cleared away the smoke, only to see a small (but still big for a pony), hairless and hornless minotaur emerge from the crater with a black, woollen face, with small eyes and, strangely enough, no mouth. She gazed in a mix of curiosity, amazement and fear at this new creature, as it slowly climbed the side of the crater. She watched as it looked over itself in amazement, and heard it announce: "What! I'm alive!" It started laughing, deep belly laughs of amazement, joy, confusion and madness. Twilight was slightly confused at how it could talk, seeing as it had no mouth, but dismissed the questions. She had seen weirder.
It turned around to start walking, when Twilight decided to make her presence felt (mostly because she wanted to study a creature, not yet seen by anyone, if her books were anything to go by), so she cleared her throat.
==========
[Anthony's perspective]
Pain. That one word described my whole life. Being abused by my parents growing up, being bullied by the other kids at school, and, finally, my execution. All of those things have one thing in common. Pain. And now, I was in such excruciating pain.
'Wait,' I thought. 'Pain means I can feel things, and if I can feel things, that means I'm not dead!' I realised this and tried to get up, but, like I said before, pain.
Suddenly, my sense of smell returned, and I could smell smoke. My stress addled brain stirred to life once more: where there's smoke, there's fire. I desperately tried to move, but only managed to roll around.
'Stop, drop and roll, motherfucker,' said the insane part of my brain (which is about half of it).
Suddenly the smoke dissipated and I finally found enough strength to stand. The first thing I noticed, was that I was in a ditch. I quickly (not really) scaled the hole and stood up. I looked at myself and exclaimed: "What! I'm alive!"
At this revelation, I started roaring with laughter, tears of joy rolling down my cheeks as i fell to the ground, holding my sides.
As I laughed, I saw some lights, through the trees, so I picked myself up, still chuckling, and started walking towards them, when, all of a sudden, someone cleared their throat behind me. I whirled around, pulling my knife out (which was still in it's holster, somehow) and got into a combat stance.
As I scanned the area, I saw it. Now, I've seen some real crazy shit, but this takes the cake. Standing in front of me, was a purple unicorn. I shit you not. It had a dark purple mane with a pink stripe in it. And it was so fucking adorable! It had large, very expressive, purple eyes. I snorted at it's shocked expression. I looked around for it's owner, as I was going to ask why he decided to dye his horses coat purple and attach a horn to it's head.
"Where's your owner, little guy?" I asked, obviously not expecting a response
"'Little guy?!'" It said incredulously "I'll have you know that I am a mare"
'Now I know I'm trippin', cause there's no way a horse just spoke to me' I thought, but my mouth acted faster than my brain, making me shout "Holy fucking hell! You just spoke!"
The horse (a she, if I remembered what a mare was) looked up at me and said "Of course I spoke. Are you not from here or have you just been that ignorant all your life?"
I, of course, started spouting gibberish, like: "Purple horse. Opened mouth. And words, come out"
"Oh dear" She said "I think I broke it. Here, come with me. You can stay at my place, because your obviously not from here. You can sleep in the living room, if that's fine with you?"
My brain, now nearly melted by this strange creature, could only form one response: "Ok"
She giggled and said "By the way, my name's Twilight Sparkle. What's yours?"
"Anthony" Was all I could say.
"Huh" Twilight said, as she started walking away, towards the lights I was going to head towards. "That's a weird name"
"Hey!" I said, shaking out of my brain-dead state. "My name is not weird. If anyones name is weird, it's yours!"
"No it isn't, yours is!" She shot back
"No, yours i-" I caught myself mid sentence.
I looked at her, annoyance creeping it's way into my voice
"We are not doing that" I stated
"Doing what?" She asked, confused
"Never mind" I sighed, then resigned myself to silence as I walked.
I decided to reflect on the events that had transpired in the past 24 hours or so.
So, I had planned my kill for the day, set it up perfectly, only to find out that I had been set up, getting me captured by the police and sentenced to death by electrocution. I then woke up in a smoking crater after supposedly being killed, to find myself, not only alive, but in a world where talking ponies are it's main inhabitants, if this Twilight was true to her word.
All in all, a pretty eventful day.
"We're lucky it's fairly dark, otherwise it would be hard to get you to my place without anypony seeing you" Twilight stated, interrupting my musings.
"Anypony" I deadpanned "Really?"
"Yes, really" Twilight said, while looking around for any people (ponies, whatever) that could see us. "If anypony saw you, they might act really strangely, seeing as you're a hairless, hornless and really short minotaur"
"Twilight" I said, face-palming "I'm not a minotaur. I'm a human. A male, in case you were wondering"
Twilight turned on the spot, looked up at me and exclaimed: "Whats a hyoo-min? I've never heard of that species in any of my books! Oh, maybe your a yet undiscovered species, and I found one of the last of your dying ra-"
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, Twilight" I said, holding up my arms, cutting her off mid speech. "My race is in no danger of dying out. There are something like 7.2 billion of us, so no worries there. And we are human's, not hyoo-min's. Our scientific name is homo sapien."
After I finished saying this, Twilight looked at me incredulously.
"That's impossible." She stated "If there were that many of you, then why haven't any of you ever been seem?"
"Well..." I started, but was cut off by Twilight, who said "Oh! We're here"
I looked up and saw a large tree, still alive if the leaves were any indicator, completely hollow, with furnishings and what seemed like a good sized library inside it.
I looked around, brain near full meltdown at this blatant disregard of physics, and stated "Can I go take a nap? My brain can only take so much bullshit in one day"
Twilight giggled at my expression and said "Sure. I just need to get a blanket and pillows. You're fine with sleeping on the couch, right?"
"Yeah, sure" I said absentmindedly, gazing at my surroundings in awe.
"How is the tree still alive?" I questioned, genuinely stumped (Hah! Tree, stumped, get it?!)
"Magic" Twilight replied, no hint of a joke in her voice.
I stared at her dumbly "Come again?" I said
"Magic" She said again, a bit more cautiously. "You should know about magic. Every unicorn can do some kind of magic, but it mostly correlates with whatever their special talent is. For example, my friend Rarity, can do magic, but mostly only things to do with dressmaking and gem finding, as her special talent is making dresses. Me, however" She went on, trying not to sound boastful, and doing a pretty good job of it. "My special talent is magic. So I excel in all forms of it."
"Whoa" I said "So how do you know what your special talent is? Theres no way for us to find out back where I come from, so all we do is go to school and study in most subjects to find out if we're either: A. Good at something, B. We really like doing this, or C. (much rarer) Both of the above. In my world (I said 'my world' because I don't think I'm on Earth anymore, what with the talking ponies, and magic) we can be good at many things at once, so we're not restricted by having only one special talent."
"Oh!" Twilight exclaimed "That probably explains your lack of Cutie Mark. That's how we normally know what our talents are. See this mark?" She said, turing around, showing me a strange mark. It was of a pink, six pointed star over another six pointed star, this one white, surrounded by five, smaller, white stars. "This is a Cutie Mark. Most ponies get theirs around ages 6-10, some getting theirs earlier or later, due to chance, luck or illness. The thing is though, every race, unicorn, pegasi and earth pony alike, all get a cutie mark"
"Wait, so you're not only saying that this world has unicorns, but pegasi as well? And every type of pony gets a Cutie Mark?"
"Sure" Twilight said, sort of distant, as if she wasn't really focusing on me, or even the question.
I snorted at the name. Cutie Mark, seriously. They couldn't have thought of a better name, for something so import-.
I yawned loudly, cutting off my train of thoughts, and remembered why I agreed to come here in the first place.
"Twilight" I said, trying to get her attention. She still had that distant look on her face, probably still thinking about what I had said.
"Twilight!" I almost yelled at her, shaking her shoulder.
"Huh, wha-" She said, finally shaken out of her stupor
"Twilight, can you get me a blanket and some pillows for me, please?" I asked. "I haven't slept in nearly two days, if I remember correctly"
"Oh, sure" She said shaking her head. She started making her way up the stairs, which I just noticed, admittedly. I watched her walk up the stairs, trying to gather my thoughts. I know I had only just met her, but I was starting to like this Twilight Sparkle. She seemed a nice enough girl (mare, whatever). She said her talent was magic, so I thought about asking her to do some tricks for me, but a yawn silenced the question on my lips.
'Right' I thought 'Sleep first, ask questions tomorrow'
"Here we are" Twilight grunted as she dragged a large blanket down the stairs, followed by a pile of pillows with purple, scaly legs. I blinked and rubbed my eyes, putting it down to tired hallucinations.
Suddenly, the pillows dropped, revealing a yawning purple lizard. It had a green belly, spines and green slitted eyes. It looked tired and grumpy (probably like what I did), like if Twilight just woke it up. It sighed, and said in a tired voice "I don't know why you had to wake me up for Twil- Whoa!" It's sentence was cut off as it spotted me, sitting on the couch.
"Sup" I said, grinning.
"Spike, meet Anthony." Twilight said "Anthony, Spike"
"Uh, hey" Spike said, the uncertainty clear in his voice.
"G'day mate" I said putting on my biggest fake Aussie accent, grinning all the while.
"What?" Twilight and Spike said in unison
"Doesn't matter" I said, thinking of other ways to troll people (Fuck. Ponies, whatever!)
"Ok" Spike said, yawning again. "Well i'm tired. I'm gonna go to bed"
I found myself agreeing with his testimony. "Same here" I said. "Just drop the blanket and pillows next to the bed. I can set it up."
Twilight looked relieved and put the blankets down, next to the couch. She started her way up the stairs. 'Probably going to her room' I guessed. My left eye twitched, and I realised that I was still wearing my balaclava. I face-palmed. Sighing audibly, I reached up to the top of my head, grabbed the woollen material, and pulled, yanking off the facial garment.
I sighed in relief, the cool air refreshing on my hot face. 'Why didn't I do that earlier?' I thought. As I opened my eyes, I noticed that the sound of foot-steps (God fucking dammit, hoof-steps!) had stopped. Looking up, I saw Twilight and Spike, looking down at me, shock, concern and interest etched on their faces. Twilight opened her mouth to speak, but I held up my hand to silence her.
"I'll explain tomorrow" I said, before going to set up my makeshift bed.
I heard Twilight whisper something to Spike, before they headed to their beds as well.
I looked at the couch that I was going to be sleeping on. I sat down on it and confirmed my suspicions. It was really comfortable. I laid the blanket on the couch and put the pillows into place. I crawled in under the covers, confirming my other suspicion. It was a bit short, so my legs dangled over the edge. Now, I'm not tall, by human standards, only 5'8", but to these ponies, I was a giant! I compromised, however, by curling into a fetal position with my head pointed at the back of the couch.
I moved around, trying to get comfortable, but something kept jabbing into my thigh. I patted down my leg, trying to find the source of discomfort. I felt a hard, yet familiar shape in my right pocket. I gasped. 'No' I thought 'It couldn't be!'
But it was. I pulled my phone and headphones out of my pocket (iPhone 4s, if anyone was wondering). I gaped at them. No damage had been done to either, despite my previous endeavours. I turned on my phone to find that it had nearly full battery, and was completely unharmed (well besides the crack that I had gotten on it a while ago, but whatever). I pulled my headphones out, and decided to listen to some music while I slept, like I normally did at home.
I opened up iMusic and, looking through my songs, picked out one of my favourites. Fallen world by Dragonforce.
As the shredding guitar of the best band ever started playing, I felt another object in my other pocket. I pulled it out, and pulled it up to my face. In my hand I was holding a golden necklace, with a green crystal in the shape of a dagger in the centre. I looked at it curiously, having never seen this piece of jewellery in my life.
After a few minutes of looking at it, I shrugged and put it next to my phone.
Wouldn't be the first time I stole something, then forgot about it.
As I lay there, my focus slipping as sleep took hold over my exhausted body, I heard Twilight announce, as if she suddenly remembered, "I need to tell my friends and the Princesses!"
'Holy fuck!' I thought 'She's alerting the Princesses ('lesbians?' The weird part of my brain said) of my arrival! I could get into some serious shit if i'm not careful.'
I felt my eyes begin to droop as I realised that I'd fuck it up if I was half asleep, so I let the joy of blissful unconsciousness take my willing mind.
My final thought before I fell asleep was 'what do I tell them, if they ask about me, my past or my home? Do I lie, or do I tell them the truth? The horrible, horrible truth'.
Author's Note
I was able to get this chapter out much, much quicker than I anticipated, and i've already started on chapter 2! Should be ready, maybe about same time tomorrow, not sure though.
Lost cause: Harmonious Brutality
Chapter 2: Nightmares and royalty
I was standing on a rolling green field, the sun at it's peak in the sky. It was a nice temperature, maybe 24 degrees Celsius.
"Well" I said, "This is certainly different from my other dreams"
It was true. Normally my dreams (nightmares, actually) involved the night where Kate and Anna were killed. I shuddered as I tried suppressed those memories, but they flooded my thoughts, warping and changing the field around me. "Just fuckin' great!" I shouted. ''The one time I get a lucid dream, and all I can think about is what I normally dream about. Fuck you, unconscious thoughts!''
Suddenly, my viewpoint changed. I was no longer standing on a distorted field, flipping everything off verbally, but was now standing outside a house. 'My house' I realised. My hand was brought up to my face, like I had no control over it. I tried to move, but my body wouldn't respond. I sighed internally, not happy about having to be a passenger in this dream.
A flash of silver caught my eye. I looked down (I could control the eyes at least) and saw a knife. A large, serrated, horrifically familiar blade.
I wanted to scream. I wanted to wake up. I wanted something, anything, to happen but this.
I realised, with horror, that I couldn't do anything to stop this nightmare. I tried to close my eyes, but they wouldn't respond, except for the occasional blink and/or twitch.
My feet started moving, on their own accord, towards my house, where I knew, my wife, child and I were sleeping peacefully.
'Oh God, no' I pleaded with my subconscious. 'Please, anything but this!'
The movement didn't stop, nor did it slow down. It, in fact, seemed to speed up. I reached to the door. I gulped in fear, but my hand slid out, grabbed the door handle, and turned it.
The house was still, save for the occasional whisper that I knew came from Kate. I moved, silently, towards the hallway, my hand twitching. I walked up to a very familiar door, the one that brought back such horrible memories. My ears picked up the faint whispering, that was coming from inside the room.
"Anna, I want you to know that mummy loves you. Mummy loves you so very, very much" Kate choked back a sob at the end of the sentence.
My hand, once again disobeying my orders, slid out and grabbed the door knob. I heard a gasp of fear as I opened the door, my other hand pulling out the knife.
Kate was huddled in the corner of the room, her electric green eyes wide with fear, her blonde hair a mess. She had a bundle, that I knew was Anna, my baby girl, not even two years old, clutched against her chest.
My left hand let go of the door knob, and was held out in front of me.
A voice, that was not my own, whispered "Give me the child, and I might spare your pathetic life"
Kate's eye's grew wider (if that was possible) and she started to scream.
I, with no hesitation, lunged, knife glinting a deadly silver in the moonlight that streamed through the window, that was open.
Kate's scream was cut short, as the 10 inch blade lodged itself halfway in her throat. She gaged, blood shooting out from both her mouth and her cut oesophagus. She fell to the floor, and was dead within seconds.
I felt myself smirk. Pulling the blade out of my wife's body, I advanced on the sleeping baby, knife now held at the ready again. As I advanced, I heard movements in the opposite room. Cursing, I started moving faster, before, finally, I was looking down at my beautiful daughter. She was the perfect mix of Kate and myself. She had Kate's beautiful, electric green eyes and my near jet black hair. The moonlight reflected off of her face and eyes, making them look as if they were glowing, while her hair absorbed most of the light, creating a perfect contrast.
'She would have grown up to be such a beautiful woman' I thought, sadly.
The movement in the other room increased. Cursing again, I raised my arms into the air, gripping the knife with both hands.
"No..." I said, weakly. "Please"
Those words fell on deaf ears, as the knife started whizzing down, past my eyes. As the blade got closer, however, time seemed to slow down, until, eventually, it had stopped completely, the blade mere centimetres from piercing my babies heart.
Suddenly a powerful, commanding voice shouted "Begone, foul nightmare! Thou shalt not trouble this young stallion any longer!"
My vision blurred, them started to dissolve. I closed my eyes, feeling disoriented.
When I opened them, I found that I was floating in a void. There was nothing above, below or to either side of me, save for a large (by pony standards) midnight blue pony with a crescent moon Cutie Mark. What struck me as odd, was the fact that she had both wings and a horn. She looked slightly disturbed, probably having watched the entirety of the dream.
She gasped when she saw me, and shouted in an incredibly loud voice "Oh! What art thou, that grace our pre- " She stopped herself, cleared her throat (looking slightly embarrassed) and said, much quieter this time "Sorry. I have been having trouble with the way I speak since I have gotten back."
"Uhh, sure" I said, ears still ringing and, admittedly, still shaken by the nightmare that I just had.
"I am terribly sorry that I intruded on your dream, but I saw you were really shaken by this one. And from what I saw in your memories, you normally have nightmares, but aren't afraid. What's so different about this one?" She asked, concern laced in her voice.
I was wary with my response. Not really. Well, not at all.
"Who do you think you are?" I yelled, genuinely pissed at the audacity this mare(?) had. "I am not going to give away any of my personal information to a weird, blue horse (she seemed really pissed when I said that) that just showed up in my nightmare, and asks for why I was scared, after she had banished it! I ain't telling you jack shit, until you tell me who you are, and what you're doing, lurking around in my personal dreams."
The blue pony stamped her hoof on the ground, causing the ground(?) to shake, and lightning to flash behind her, making her eyes pure white for a split second.
"Thou ungrateful whelp! " She screamed, going back to that horrifically loud voice "We tried helping you in your time of need, but, instead you decide to insult us! Because you desire to know who we are, we shall tell you:
We, are the moon, Giving light in the dark, We, are the stars, Guiding the lost souls home, We, are the knowledge, Of millennia of fruitful research, We, are the Night, Pure and Just, We, are your Princess, Luna! "
As the final syllable faded from existence, I realised the mistake I had just made.
'Oh, fuck' I thought 'Did I just piss off one of the princesses?! Oh I'm in so much shit!'
"Oh my God, you're one of the Princesses!" I said, barely containing my fear. "I'm so sorry! I didn't know that you were one of the rulers! I just thought you were someone random, meddling with my private affairs! I'm truly sorry for offending you." I finish, admittedly very lamely.
She seemed to calm down slightly, and when she spoke, her voice was a bit quieter.
"'Tis ok" She said, still speaking in Archaic. "From what we can see, you are not a natural to Equestria" I held back a laugh at the name, but she ignored it, and continued. "That leads us to another question, who, and what, are you?"
"Well" I began, thinking about what I should say. Should I lie about myself and my world? Or should I tell her the truth?
"Fuck it" I said, deciding to throw caution to the wind. If she was one of the Princesses (which i'm now certain of), she would probably know if I was lying anyway.
"Ok" I said, ready to launch into my explanation. "That nightmare you interrupted? Well that was not just a figment of my imagination. That actually happened."
The Princess looked horrified at that. "W-why would you kill that woman, a-and that child?"
"Whoa, I did not kill my wife and child!" I shouted. "We were just seeing the killers perspective. That stirring in the other room, that was me. Kate was comforting Anna, because she had a nightmare, when she heard the killer enter. She tried alerting me by screaming, but was cut off. Y'know, it'd be easier if you saw. Replay the memory, but from my perspective."
Luna looked slightly surprised. I couldn't blame her. I just ordered her to do something, and she obviously wasn't used to it.
She looked at me, eyes filled with concern. "I can only enter your mind if you give me permission" She stated.
I sighed inwardly. "Fine" I said "I, Anthony Marin, give you, Princess Luna, permission to enter my mind and look at my memories. Can we get this over with now?"
"You seem reluctant. Are you sure you want to do this?" She said, concern once again filling her voice.
"If you see this, everything will be easier to explain" I said, with finality.
"Very well" Luna said, as she charged up her horn, it glowing with a dark blue aura. She leaned forward and touched my forehead with her horn.
The Void around us rippled and distorted, transforming into the room in which I slept during that night.
==========
The scream pierced the still night. My eyes flew open. The scream cut off with a sickening gurgling noise, accompanied by some dark muttering.
I, a bit groggy, but still alert, sat up. As I moved around, making a fair bit of noise in the process, I realised that Kate wasn't next to me. My mind tried to figure out the puzzle that was in front of me. Kate missing, mutterings in the next room, a scream.
I suddenly felt dizzy, as I remembered whose room was next to mine. Anna's.
I jumped out of my bed, and sprinted to the door. I opened it and ran to Anna's door, which was slightly agar. I gulped as I slowly opened the door, revealing my worst fears.
A hooded figure was crouched over Anna, cleaning a bloody knife, Kate laying a few metres away, her throat been slashed.
As I looked over the nightmarish scene, two emotions reared their heads. The first was of loss, sadness, as I realised that i'd never hug or kiss either my wife or my child.
The second, however, was rage. I realised, also, that the man in front of me, killed both my wife and my child.
I started shaking, both with anger and fear.
"Y-you k-killed them" I managed to stutter, taking a step forward. The man looked up at me, and said something that made my blood boil (I couldn't hear any more, the emotions were to high), so I took another step forward.
The memory went blank. I decided Luna had seen enough. As the dream faded, and the strange limbo world appeared around us again.
"You cared deeply for those two figures, who were they?" Luna said, putting a comforting hoof on my shoulder. I looked up at her and sighed.
"They were my wife and baby girl" I said, eliciting a small gasp from the Lunar Princess. "I loved them so much. When they were killed, I went insane for a few months. I only pulled out of my insanity by remembering who they were, and what they meant to me."
"Oh" Luna whispered "I sense that was not all of the memory. Why did you stop it?"
I looked at her, dead in the eyes. "Because what I did to that man, no one, pony or otherwise, needs to see what I did. It's bad enough that I have to live with it." I started.
"Was it really that bad?" Luna asked "I am immortal. I have seen many things in my years, and was even possessed by an evil spirit and tried to thrust Equestria into eternal night."
I sighed. "I wont show you the memory, but i'll try to explain it." Luna nodded in agreement. "Well, I literally ripped him apart. His body parts were strewn everywhere, arms by the door, legs by the bed, and in my hand, I held his decapitated head." Luna was turning green, but I continued. She asked for it. "The blood was everywhere, completely covering me, and the room. And you know whats the sickest part of it all?" Luna shook her head, probably not wanting to know.
"I enjoyed doing what I did to him." I stated. Luna stared, shocked.
"H-how?" She stammered "How could you enjoy killing another of your race?"
"Because he deserved it. Thats the reality of the situation. He brutally murdered my family, I killed him in an even more brutal way." I stated, bluntly "This one act landed me in a correctional facility, where I stayed for a few months. The dumb fucks actually let me go. Biggest mistake in human history. Y'know why?" I asked Luna, who only looked at me, still horrified.
"Because I became a serial killer."
Luna gaped at me, like another head had just sprouted out of my neck. "W-what?" She choked out.
"Princess, I want you to understand the magnitude of what I did." I began "I murdered nearly two hundred people, men, women, babies and elders alike. But I didn't just pick any random person, oh no. I only picked people who deserved it. I watched the streets, looking for any people, doing anything bad. This one time, I spotted a beggar, asking for money on the street. Now, I always felt sorry for beggars. They had nothing, even brought themselves to ask people for money. So, naturally, I was really pissed when I saw a man, go up to a beggar, and punch him in the head repeatedly. The poor beggar actually died from the abuse! So, later that day, I followed him to his house, and slit his throat. That was kill number 34. It was, is and probably will always be my favou-" I stopped when I saw Luna's face. It was full of fear and, strangely enough, determination. I also realised that while I was talking, that strange necklace had appeared on my neck and was glowing, bathing the void in a sick green colour, which seemed to repel at the light.
"If thats the truth" She started slowly, but looking at the amulet around my neck, surprise now another emotion on her face. "Then We can not allow you to stay in Equestria !"
Author's Note
Having a plan really helps out in the long run!
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Lost cause: Harmonious Brutality
Chapter 3: New Elements, new friends and new mistakes
"Then We can not allow you to stay in Equestria!" Luna shouted (in that ridiculously loud voice), wings flaring out behind her.
"What!" I shouted "Do you think, that because I killed people in my world, that i'd kill your subjects? If you think i'd ever harm a hair on any of those adorable ponies heads, then you're crazier than me!"
Luna looked shocked at the outburst, but seemed to calm a little at my words, if only by a little.
"I am sorry, but if you were that big of a threat to your own species, how can I trust you?" Luna questioned, voice going back to normal (it was still a loud shout, though) "For all I know, after I let you go, you could start killing again!"
"Princess, I know this seems bad, but before you make a decision, I need to ask you a question"
Luna looked puzzled. "Fine" She said. "I'll decide after your question. You only get one, though. Make it count" She warned.
"Ok" I started "When I came here, to Equestria, I was alone in a forest. I had thought something felt different, now that I look back on it. Anyway, I was, as I said, all alone. Suddenly, seemingly out of nowhere, a purple unicorn appeared next to me. I, having never seen a unicorn before, as they are only mythological creatures back in my world, acted with skepticism. But this pony showed great kindness to me, and even let me stay the night at her house. It is probably the kindest thing anyone has ever done for me"
"That wasn't a question" Luna said, stating the obvious.
"I know" I said "My question is a fairly simple one."
"Well?" Luna said
"Princess Luna" I said, putting as much power in my voice as possible. "Does every single pony accept and love strangers, as Twilight did?"
Luna looked a bit surprised at the question, but a look of understanding dawned on her face. "Ah" She said "I should have known Twilight Sparkle had something to do with this. Anyway, about your question. Yes, save for a few, special cases. Most ponies in Equestria may treat you differently, seeing as though you look and act differently, but none should treat you with open hostility."
I nodded. "Good" I said "If thats the case, then you wont have to worry about me going to kill anybody"
Luna looked at me, head tilted to one side. "Why is that?" She asked
"I mentioned before, that I only murdered people who had done bad things, right?" Luna nodded. "Well, if what you said is true, than I wont kill anybody, because no one does anything wrong."
Luna looked at me, thinking.
Suddenly, her face lit up. "Ok." She said "You can stay, but on one condition."
"Sure!" I said, happy I got to stay (because if I had to go back home, I'd be dead. Literally). "What is it?"
"You have to come to Equestria's capital city, Canterlot, and explain your story to Princess Celestia, Twilight and her friends." She said. "If i'm going to allow you to live here, both rulers must agree on it, or the other at least has to know."
"Ok, fine" I said. "But why Twilight? Why would she have to hear this?"
Luna winked at me. "That is a question that you will have to ask her yourself" She said, as the world around us started disintegrating.
"What!" I shouted at her, as she grew more distant. "Why would she come?"
"Goodbye..." She paused, looking at me. I realised, stupidly, that I never told her my name.
"Anthony!" I shouted, to her distant figure. "My name's Anthony!"
"Goodbye, Anthony!" Called Luna's voice, as I was left in a dreamless state, awaiting my awakening.
==========
Luna ran down the halls of Canterlot Castle, her hooves clattering on the marble floors.
She reached her destination. Celestia's bedchambers.
She knocked on the door and waited. Her mind was racing, thinking of how this could have happened.
'It isn't supposed to be around anymore!' She thought. 'Tia and I destroyed it when we realised what it could do!'
Celestia's door opened, revealing the sun goddess herself, looking slightly tired, as it was the middle of the night.
"Luna" She said, rubbing one of her eyes with her hoof. "Why did you wake me, at such an hour?"
"Tia, It has returned" Luna said, her voice low.
Celestia gasped, now fully awake. "Surely, you don't mean It! But we destroyed It! How could it be here?"
"I don't know" Luna said. "All I know is that the lost Element is back. The Element of Brutality."
==========
"Is it ok?" I heard, from an unfamiliar voice, as I regained consciousness.
"I don't know Fluttershy" I heard Twilight say.
I groaned, weariness trying to flood out of my head. I tried to sit up, but I couldn't move.
I, now panicking slightly, started struggling against my bonds.
"Oh" Twilight exclaimed in shocked at my sudden awakening. I also heard a small 'eep' to the other side of me, that made me stop moving.
"Who is that?" I asked Twilight, opening my eyes, which couldn't focus for some reason.
"Anthony! You're awake!" She said, stating the obvious.
"No shit, Sherlock!" I said, blinking, trying to regain my sight. "Why can't I see?"
"Well, you've been asleep for the past 2 and a half days!" She said. "Your eyes have been underused for a bit. They should be fine after a few minutes. And the other pony here is Fluttershy. She is one of my best friends, and an expert on animals. I brought her here to look at you yesterday, but you wouldn't wake up. It looked like you were having a nightmare at one stage, then started muttering in your sleep, then began having another nightmare! We had no idea what to make of your behaviour. Is this how humans normally sleep?" She finished, pulling a notepad out of nowhere, her eyes gleaming.
"Whoa!" I said. "First, can you untie me? I can't really move at the moment."
Twilight blushed "Of course. You were thrashing about in your sleep, so I had to tie you down, otherwise you would have hurt yourself, and anypony that got near you" She said, untying me while she explained.
I nodded "Fair enough." I said. "Now where's this Fluttershy? You said she was here to examine me." I looked around (my eyes now fine), and, sure enough, spotted another pony, just starting to stand up. She (I think it's a she) had a yellow coat with a pink mane and tail and a pair of wings, tucked into her sides (at this point my brain had come to accept a lot of weird things, so it didn't really phase me to see that she was a pegasus) with beautiful, teal eyes. She was trying to hide behind her mane, which fell over her right eye.
She was the cutest thing I had ever seen.
"Daaaaawwww" I said, as my heart melted. "You are the cutest thing ever!"
She looked surprised when I spoke, but smiled, and blushed, at the compliment nonetheless.
"Thank you" She said in the sweetest, most innocent voice I've ever heard, that seemed to wash away all of my doubts and fears. "I'm Fluttershy. I, as Twilight said, look after the animals, sick or not, when their owners can't. I've looked after many strange creatures, but i've never seen anything like you. Twilight called me over to see if I could find out anything about you, but I couldn't do any examinations without your consent, and, because you were asleep, I couldn't get it"
I nodded as she explained, but Twilight stood stock-still, mouth hanging open, shock clear on her face.
"What?" I asked Twilight, jokingly. "Do I have something in my teeth?"
"H-how did you do that?" Twilight whispered, eyes flicking from me, to Fluttershy and back again.
"Do what?" I asked, confused by her behaviour.
"When I first met Fluttershy" She started. "I couldn't even get her to say her name! But you just wake up, not 10 minutes ago, and strike up a full conversation! How?"
"I don't know!" I said, exasperated. "She was just explaining to me what she was doing!"
"Um, Twilight" Fluttershy said, once more trying to hide behind her hair. "I was going to get him to tell me a bit about him, so I can see if he had anything wrong with him. I'm sorry if I was being a bit over eager." Her voice trailed to a whisper as she finished. My heart, now in a liquid state from the adorableness of her, ached to see her so sad. I felt the need to protect her.
'Something I haven't felt since Anna' I realised, eyes widening.
"It's ok, Fluttershy" I said, scooping her up in a hug. "You can ask me anything about my health. But nothing about my past or my own world. Luna told me to save it for when we go to Canterlot."
"Wait!" Twilight shouted. "How do you know who Princess Luna is, let alone have her tell you stuff! You've been asleep, in my guest room, for over 2 days! How could you have spoken to her?"
I put Fluttershy down, and prepared my explanation.
"Well, when I was sleeping, I had a nightmare. Luna came and banished it. She then talked to me about my past and my world. After i'd finished explaining, she thought I was dangerous, and tried to banish me." Twilight and Fluttershy gasped at this. I continued. "But I convinced her I wasn't a threat, and she allowed me to stay. But I have to go to Canterlot and tell you, your friends and the other Princess."
Twilight, recognition dawning on her face, said "That probably explains why you were out for so long, and how you knew Princess Luna. Can you tell me what you told her?"
I shook my head. "I should save the explanation for when everyone is together." I said. "Oh, and while we're on this topic, why would you come? And who are your friends that are coming as well?"
Twilight's eyes widened. "Luna didn't tell you?" She asked. I shook my head, causing Twilight to face-palm (face-hoof, whatever). "Well, me and my five friends, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Applejack and Fluttershy (indicating with her hoof at the mentioned pegasus), are the Elements of Harmony. They are six, incredibly powerful, magical artefacts, that can channel the pure magic of friendship and harmony. Each of my friends, including myself, represent one of the six Elements. Rarity is the Element of Generosity, Pinkie is the Element of Laughter, Applejack is the Element of Honesty, Rainbow Dash is the Element of Loyalty, Fluttershy is the Element of Kindness and i'm the Element of Magic. We have saved Equestria twice, from Nightmare Moon, and from Discord. We are Equestria's last line of defence."
If my jaw went any lower, I would be able to taste the wooden floor. I thought that Twilight was just a regular pony (well as regular as a talking unicorn), same with Fluttershy, but it turns out they posses a sixth of the most powerful magical artefacts ever!
Twilight and Fluttershy giggled at my expression. "I can take you to meet all of my friends, if you want?" Twilight asked, still giggling.
"Sure!" I said, wanting to meet the ponies that would accompany me on my trip to Canterlot. "But I think Fluttershy wanted to ask me some questions about my health, first." Nodding to the mentioned mare.
"Ok, but I want to take notes. So I can write to Princess Celestia about you." Twilight said, once again taking a quill and notebook out.
I shrugged, and turned to Fluttershy. "So, what do you want to know?" I asked.
==========
After a relatively quick check-up (Fluttershy just checked my vitals and asked if I have any allergies, Twilight taking notes throughout the entire thing) and a quick letter to the Princesses, Twilight decided to take us out for lunch (as it was about 1:30).
As we made our way to the restaurant that Fluttershy had suggested, I realised that I hadn't eaten in over 3 days! As I thought about this, my stomach suddenly decided to be a huge troll, and drop all of that suppressed hunger on me, all at once.
"Fuck me" I groaned, doubling over in pain.
"Oh no!" Fluttershy said, jumping to my aid. "What's wrong, Anthony?" She asked.
"S'nothing" I groaned. "I just haven't eaten in nearly 4 days."
"Oh my!" She gasped. "We better hurry up then. Twilight lets go!"
We quickened our pace, me still bent over and groaning. We got some curious, some fearful, glances our way, understandably, seeing as I look like an alien. I ignored them all, my thoughts occupied by a large platter, filled with all kinds of food. Meats, vegetables, fruits and dairies, you name it, it was on that imaginary platter.
I, suddenly full of purpose with that vision of food, started sprinting. Now, I used to play football (AFL) when I was younger, and I was one of the fastest in the team. I sprinted hard towards the restaurant, which was maybe 500 metres away. I made the distance in under a minute, and ran through the door, panting hard.
Every thing stopped when I entered the store. Utensils dropped into bowls and plates, and the patrons ceased talking. Some gasped in shock, fear and surprise, others just sat there, mouths hanging open. I, like usual, ignored everyone as I went up to the waiter.
"Uh, hello... Sir?" He said uncertainly.
"...Sup..." I said, in between huge lungfuls of air. "I need a table for three... Anywhere will do..."
"But, sir, there is only yo-"
Twilight and Fluttershy both burst into the restaurant at that moment.
I raised my eyebrow at the waiter. "You were saying?" I said.
He sighed. "Very well sir, please follow me" He said and turned, leading me to a free table.
As I sat down, the girls spotted me, walked over, and sat down at the table with me, trying to ask me questions. I ignored them as the waiter spoke.
"What would you like to order sir? I have a menu if you like" The waiter said, pulling out three menus.
"Ta' bud" I said, looking through the menu. I noticed something strange.
"Hey!" I called to the waiter, ignoring Fluttershy and Twilight, who were still trying to talk to me. "Where's all the meat dishes?" I asked, loud enough for everyone to hear.
Lost cause: Harmonious Brutality
For the second time in less than 10 minutes, the restaurant lapsed into complete silence. This time however, everyone had fear, disgust and confusion on their faces.
"W-what was that, s-sir?" The waiter stammered.
"I said, do you have an-" Suddenly, everything clicked. These things are ponies. Ponies are herbivores.
"Oh, fuck!" I shouted, hurriedly looking over the menu again. "No, s-scratch that. I-I'll just have the... Um...Uh...T-The fruit salad!"
"O-ok then, sir." The waiter said, looking away from me and turning to Twilight and Fluttershy. "And what about you two?"
"Uh, i'll have a daisy-salad sandwich" Twilight said, still looking at me weirdly.
"Um, i'll have a salad, if it's to much trouble." Fluttershy said, strangely not as fazed as everyone else.
After hearing this, most of the ponies went back to their meals, some still giving glances, dirty and/or curious, my way.
"So, Anthony" Twilight said, looking at me. "Why were you so eager to get here? And, by the way, that's probably the fastest i've ever seen anyone run in my life. You probably clocked at least 30 kilometres an hour!"
I looked at her, perplexed. "Uh, thanks, I guess." I said. "And I got here so fast because I was hungry, and i'm a wog. And when you get between a hungry wog, and his food, you better either have a good reason, or a death wish"
Twilight looked at me, confused. "What's a 'wog'?" She asked.
I face-palmed. Of course they wouldn't know what a wog is. They had no races (besides the unicorns, pegasi and the regular ponies), and probably didn't have any discriminatory slangs for them.
"Well, were I come from, the term 'wog' was a discriminatory slang for a European, mainly Italians." I said, earning more confused looks from the purple mare.
"Why would you want to be called something that's discriminatory? And whats European? Or Italian?" Twilight asked, confusion growing ever more.
"I said it was a discriminatory slang" I explained. "It really means nothing bad now. And Europe is one of the 5 continents on my planet, and Italy is one of the countries within it. I'm Italian, Greek, another country from Europe, and Australian, a separate continent. That's why i'm a wog. One of the main reasons why wogs are so distinguishable, is their appetite. On average, a human would normally eat maybe a kilo and a half of food per day. But wogs have been known to eat maybe two, or even more, kilograms in one sitting!"
Upon finishing that sentence, the front doors to the restaurant opened, and in flew a blue pegasus, with a rainbow mane and rose eyes. She (I think? I wasn't good at telling the genders of these ponies) scanned the room, and, when she spotted our table, grinned, and started towards us.
"Hey Twilight, Fluttershy, and, weird looking...Uh, thing?" She said in a scratchy, tomboyish voice. "Mind if I pull up a seat?"
"Not at all Rainbow!" Fluttershy said, smiling.
"Hey Rainbow Dash, how've you been?" Twilight asked, levitating a chair over, from an unoccupied table, of course, for Rainbow.
"Oh, well I was just practicing some of my best tricks, some to surely impress the Wonderbolts, when, all of a sudden, I spot this big thing (she pointed her hoof at me) running towards here, like he was being chased by something from Tartarus!" She said, flying up in the air and using exaggerated hand gestures (*sigh* i'm never gonna get used to this 'hand-hoof' thing, am I).
"Now, you all know that i'm the fastest pony around, right?" She asked, and everyone nodded. I, having no idea what was going on, just sat there, doing nothing. "Well this thing can run! I don't think even I could keep up with it! Well, if I weren't flying, of course." She finished, looking at me in awe and a bit of confusion. "Just one question though." She said.
I decided to respond, seeing how the question was directed at me. "Fire away." I said.
Rainbow seemed a bit surprised at my voice, but regained her composure and said: "Ok, who, and what, the hay are you!?"
I sighed, expecting such a question. "Well, my name is Anthony Marin. I have reason to believe that I come from a different world, don't ask questions just yet." I said, as she opened her mouth to speak. "My species are called humans. You may call me Anthony, but my friends call me Ant. And I don't think i'd ever be faster than any quadruped. Ponies where I come from can gallop in speeds over 50 kilometres per hour. Unless a ponies top running speed is slower here, I'd never be able to outrun a pony."
All of the ponies at the table looked at me, surprise clear on their faces.
"Ponies are that fast on hoof! That's so cool! I can only get up to 20 kilometres per hour if i'm really going for it, and Applejack can get maybe 25." Rainbow exclaimed. "When i'm flying, however, I can go so fast that I can do a sonic rainboom! I'm the only pony in existence to ever do one, and I did that when I was a filly!"
"What's a sonic rainboom?" I asked.
"What!" Rainbow shouted, once again taking to the air. "You're telling me that you don't know what the most awesome thing in Equestr-" She stopped when I raised my eyebrow. "Oh right. Different world and all." She realised, settling back down into her chair. "Well a sonic rainboom is a combination of a sonic boom, and a rainbow. It happens only if a pegasus is travelling fast enough. If they do it right, a mach cone forms around them and they shoot forward at more than 10 times the speed at which they started. If they do it wrong, then they get pushed back by the sound barrier, and thrown away."
"Wait, you're telling me that you flew faster than the speed of sound! And when you were a kid, nonetheless!" I whistled. "Fuck me, that's impressive!"
The waiter appeared at the side of our table, plates and bowls of food carried in his magical grip.
"Here's your food, madame's and sir. I see you also have another guest." He said, now talking to Rainbow. "Would you like anything, miss Dash?" It seemed to me like Rainbow was a regular customer here.
"Sure, get me a plate of hay fries, please." She said.
"Of course, madame" The waiter said, before trotting away.
I, now completely oblivious to the world around me, dug into the fruit salad.
'This is fucking amazing!' I thought as I downed the whole bowl in about 10 seconds. The fruit tasted like no other fruit found on Earth. The strawberries tasted fresh and slightly sour, the way I like them. The watermelon was crisp and juicy. The grapes were firm and large. All in all, it was perfection.
The portions, however, were made for a pony, who had a small appetite. Me, having not eaten in 3 days, still felt absolutely famished after such a small bowl.
I leaned over to Twilight and asked if it were ok for me to order a few more bowls of fruit salad. She nodded, telling me that this was 'her treat'. Goddamn these ponies, they're so nice. So I called the waiter over, and asked for 2 more bowls of fruit salad.
Rainbow Dash looked at me, awe on her face. "Wow! You ate all of that in 10 seconds flat! I don't think anypony could do that, not even competitive eaters!" She said.
"I eat fast, and a lot, because i'm a wog." I raised my hand to silence her questions. "Ask Twilight and Fluttershy. I explained everything to them before you got here."
The waiter returned, carrying Dash's plate of fries. He put them down in front of the pegasus, who tucked in heartily (I guess training really takes it out of her. I know it used to get me really hungry afterwards!). The waiter turned to me, and told me my food would be ready shortly.
"So, Anthony" Twilight said, wiping her mouth. "I was wondering if you would like to have a tour around town, maybe tomorrow?"
"Sure, but why not today?" I asked.
"Well, I am the librarian at the library" She explained. "And Spike, even though he is a dragon, he's still a baby dragon. I have to look after him."
"I'm afraid I can't either." Fluttershy added. "I have a few animals that need to be tended to. I'm sorry to disappoint you."
"It's ok, guys." I said, even though I really wanted to see the town, and meet some more ponies. "I can't expect you to put your lives on hold to help me out. Tomorrow's fine."
Rainbow Dash looked up from her clean plate and said, mouth half full of food: "Don't worry big guy, i'll take ya around Ponyville!"
I brightened at this. "Cool!" I said. "I kinda want to see some of your aerial tricks, if you wouldn't mind."
"Sure thing!" Rainbow said, puffing out her chest. "My tricks are the best in all of Equestria! Who wouldn't want to see 'em?"
"Definitely not me!" I said, eager to go.
Just as I was about to get up, however, the waiter walked up to our table, and placed two more bowls of fruit salad down in front of me. "Hold up Rainbow!" I called to the departing pegasus. "I've got to eat, first!"
Rainbow turned around. "Oh, right!" She said, sitting down once again. "And Ant, call me Dash. All my friends do" She added with a wink.
==========
After I finished my food, Dash and I walked Twilight to her house. She said that I could come back to her place after we were done, seeing as I'd be living there until I knew what was going on.
We then took Fluttershy to her cottage, which was on the edge of the Everfree forest. I heard some animals making a lot of noise in there, so Fluttershy excused herself, and raced off towards her home.
That just left me and Dash, talking about what we should see first.
"I kinda wanna meet your friends, Rarity, Applejack and Pinkie Pie."
"How do you know who they are?" Dash asked.
"Well, I had a dream" (I lol'd internally at that. Martin Luther King Jr. quotes for the win!) "And Princess Luna appeared in it. She told me to go to Canterlot with Twilight and her friends, which I now know are you, Fluttershy, Applejack, Rarity and Pinkie Pie. So I want to know who i'm gonna be traveling to Canterlot with. It would be better to know everyone before the train ride, otherwise things might get awkward."
Dash looked impressed. "Good thinking there, bud!" She said, a mischievous glint appearing in her eyes. "On one condition."
"What?" I asked, expecting a challenge to a footrace (or hoofrace, not quite sure about this one). I wasn't disappointed.
"I race you to Sugarcube Corner, on hoof!"
"Ok, cool, one problem though." I said. "Where is Sugarcube Corner?"
Dash face-hoofed (ha! Got it!) and said "Ok, start running up this street until you see a giant gingerbread house."
"Gingerbread house" I deadpanned. "Really?"
"Yeah!" Dash exclaimed. "Sugarcube Corner sell the best pastries in all of Equestria!"
'A gingerbread house that sells pastries. Why am I not fucking surprised!' I thought, readying myself for the race.
"On your marks," Dash said, starting the countdown. "Get setgo!" She screamed the last two words almost at the same time, giving her an advantage. I started after her, cursing.
'God fucking dammit!' I thought, starting to pick up speed. 'That's the oldest trick in the book! How did I fall for it?'
Finishing my train of thought, I cursed again, put my eyes to the ground, and gunned it. Sprinting at full pace, I easily caught up to, and passed, Rainbow Dash, who looked up in surprise, obviously not used to seeing someone recover so fast.
'Where is that shop?' I thought, scanning the nearby buildings. 'Ahh, there it i-'
I crashed into a pony, cutting of my thoughts. I, like I normally do after I fall, landed on my side and rolled through, getting to my feet in less than a second. I walked over to the pony and helped it to it's feet.
"I'm so sorry!" I said, looking her over for any cuts or scrapes. "Are you ok?" I asked.
The pony (mare I think) had a grey coat, blonde hair and tail and beautiful golden eyes, which were crossed.
"Oh fuck!" I said, pointing to her eyes. "Did I do that?!"
She laughed, and said "No, they've been like this since I was born." This made me sigh with relief, seeing that I didn't do ant major damage.
"Whoa, Derpy, are you ok?" Dash asked, running up to her aid. "That was one heck of a stack!"
"Yeah, Rainbow, i'm fine." Derpy said "Just maybe a few bruises, but nothing major."
"That's good!" Dash exclaimed, then looking at me, "How did you do that thing there, when you fell? You just got straight back up!" She asked, eyes filled with awe.
I chuckled. "That, Dash, is a 'roll through'. I do it because of habit." I said, recalling some of my old footy days. "Back in my world, we played a game called Australian Rules Football. It's played using a ball, either leather or synthetic rubber, a field, 400 metres in diameter in an oval shape, two big posts and two little posts on either side of the longest parts of the oval and 48 players, 24 for each team. The objective of the game is to run, kick or handball the ball around the ground and into the middle of the big sticks. Um, this is really hard to explain." I said, rubbing the back of my neck. "I've never tried explaining footy to anyone before. But there is a lot of physicality in it, and a lot of people get injuries."
"Sounds pretty cool." Dash admitted.
"Yeah!" Yelled Derpy, looking me in the eyes. "You've gotta teach us how to play, mr... Um... Whats your name?"
"Oh, my name's Anthony, but you can call me Ant if you like." I said, offering a hand to Derpy, who grabbed me around the shoulders and hugged me. I'd meant for a handshake, but she must've taken it the wrong way.
'Oh well' I thought, hugging back. 'At least she's really friendly, and not mad that I bowled her over before.'
Suddenly, I remembered that i'd left my things at Twilights place!
"Uh, Derpy?" I said, getting her attention. "I need to go to Twilights place. I left something important there."
At the mention of the word 'important' Derpy dropped the hug, and ran (gallop- you know what? I don't give a fuck anymore. Fuck this) over to a satchel, which had fallen off her when we collided.
"What's that, Derpy?" I asked, pointing to her bag.
"That's my mailbag." Derpy said. "I'm the mailmare here in Ponyville. And, speaking of that, I have a job to do! Bye Ant, bye Dash!" With that, she flew off, leaving me and Dash alone, once again.
"What did you forget at Twilight's?" Dash asked.
"My phone and this weird necklace that I had." I said, starting to walk towards the treehouse library.
Dash flew up beside me. "What's a phone?" She asked.
I sighed, now having to explain something that I really didn't want to. "A phone, or telephone, is an electrical object that allows me to contact people anywhere on my home planet. It also stores movies, music, games an a lot more other things." I said, quickening my pace to a jog. I remembered that it had only about 40% battery left, and I wanted to listen to some music before it died.
"Oh" was all Dash said, as we reached the library. I knocked, then opened the door, remembering that it was a public library, and walked in.
"Hey Twilight!" I called. "I'm just here to grab some of my stuff that I need. I wont be long!"
Having said that, I walked over to where I slept last night, to find the bed (really just a comfortable couch with blankets and pillows, but was my bed for the moment) neatly made, and all my stuff on the desk next to it.
I grabbed my phone, turned it on, and saw that, somehow the battery had been recharged! Elated, I also grabbed my earphones, plugged them in, and picked out my favourite song. Last man stands, by Dragonforce.
As the guitar solos filled my ears, I noticed a note, where my phone was. It was from Twilight.
It read 'Hi Anthony. I saw your weird looking rectangular prism, and noticed that it was powered by electricity. I started to put a little bit of my electrical energies in it, but the only thing that happened was it started flashing, and a little number in the top right hoof corner changed from 13% to 100%. I'm not sure what I did, but I hope I didn't break it. Sorry?
I grinned. Twilight was messing around with my stuff, and accidentally charged my phone! Now I can listen to music as much as I wanted to!
"Sicko!" I exclaimed, as I walked out the door of the library, with Rainbow Dash following close behind.
"What's that?" Dash asked.
"This is my phone, Dash. And these" I said pointing to my headphones, "Are my earphones. They allow music to go from my phone, up along this wire, to the balls on the end. It's really good for listening to music on the go."
Dash looked impressed. "What kind of music do you listen to?" She asked.
I grinned. I always listened to music when I was bored, and I like a lot of genres. This gave me a wide range of songs to listen to if I ever got bored.
"Well, I like a lot of music." I said. "But my favourite genres of music are rock, house music and power metal."
"I like rock" Dash said. "But i've never heard of the other two. What do they sound like?"
I looked at Dash, disbelief creeping it's way on my face.
"You haven't heard power metal or house music?" I asked. I could understand power metal, because not many people have heard of it, but house music? Thats, like, the most popular techno sub-genre!
"Well, have you heard of dubstep?" I asked. When Dash nodded, which I really wasn't expecting, I explained that it was like a different version of dubstep, with not as hard bass drops. I also explained that power metal was like rock, except a lot faster, with better guitar, drums and vocals.
"Can I listen to some?" Dash asked.
"Sure!" I said, taking out one of my earphones and giving it to her. After watching her struggle to put it in her ear, me, being the genius that I am, realised that she would never get it in with hooves. Putting my music on pause, I reached out and put it in for her.
"Thanks" She said. "I don't think these would be good for ponies."
I shrugged. "Maybe that's why they haven't started selling them here."
Looking through my phone, I decided to start off with house music, before we got into the power metal, so I put on Harmony, by Vicetone.
As the song started, I realised that I could see that building that me and Dash had tried to race towards, before I ran into Derpy (literally).
As we got closer and closer, the song started building up more and more. When we reached the door, the drop had almost hit.
I opened the door, and was blown back as, what I guessed was the whole of Ponyville, screamed surprise.
Then the bass dropped.
Author's Note
I might not be able to get chapters out as fast now. I'm gonna start really focusing on my schoolwork.
Lost cause: Harmonious Brutality
"Surprise !"
"Satan's left cunt!" I screamed, falling ass over head, headphones and phone falling to the floor. "What the bloody fuck is going on in here?!"
Suddenly a light pink pony with a darker pink mane and tail and light blue eyes appeared, taking up my whole line of sight.
"Were you surprised?" She asked. "Were ya? Were ya?" With every sentence she drove her face closer into mine.
"Yes, I was surprised!" I shouted. The pink pony's grin threatened to split her head in half, but she didn't move away from my face.
"Get the fuck outta my face! " I shout as loudly as possible, somehow managing to blow back the pony's hair.
She moved back, looking down. "Ok... I just wanted to make sure you were surprised..." I bent over and picked up my phone and headphones and put my music on pause. When I looked up, however, I was faced with the most devastating weapon known to human/pony-kind.
Those puppy-dog eyes could destroy mountains.
"Dawwww!" I said, for a second time that day. "I'm sorry I yelled at you. My names Anthony. What's yours?"
The pink mares smile returned and she said: "Oh, my names Pinkie Pie, but you can call me Pinkie! Thanks for saying sorry, but I was just really excited about meeting a new pony and when I saw that you weren't a pony, I got even more excited so I ran up and got all up in your face, and you yelled at me (her face dropped for a split second, but picked up again as she got back into her retelling), but then you said sorry and it made me feel all better!" She finished with a huge grin, and I swear she made a noise. It sounded sorta like 'squee' but I might just be crazier than usual today.
"Well." I said, not sure how to respond to the waterfall of words that came out of Pinkie's mouth. "That's cool, I guess."
"Bwahahaha!" That was Dash, probably laughing at me.
"That was hilarious! The look on your face was priceless!" Rainbow said, still chuckling.
"You planned this, didn't you?" I said, pointing my finger at her, but a pink blur flashed in front of my finger.
"Nope, that was me!" Pinkie said, hopping (I don't even know) on the spot.
"What?" I said, dumbly.
"Twilight came here and said that somepony new was in town, but only that he wasn't a pony, and I always throw a party for a new pony, but she said you weren't a pony, so I decided to make the party extra, extra special!"
"Right." I said, my ears close to bleeding. "Who gave you PowerThirst?"
Now it was Pinkie's turn to look puzzled. "What's PowerThirst?" She asked.
My eyes widened. "Everypony (fucking nailed it!)" I shouted, breaking up the party. I even heard the sound of a record being scratched. I lol'd. "Never give Pinkie PowerThirst!"
All of the ponies looked at me, confused. "That's it." I said. "Carry on with your party deeds."
"Anthony!" A familiar voice called out from the mob of ponies.
I heard a few muttered apologies, before Derpy stood in front of me, wearing a big smile.
"Sup, Derpy?" I asked, happy to see her again. She seemed a really nice pony. But, then again, all of these ponies have been nice to me. They haven't even questioned what I am, or where i'm from.
"...you?" Derpy asked.
"Uh, sorry Derpy, but could you repeat that? I kinda zoned out there." I admitted, sheepishly.
Derpy smiled. "No worries! I do that a lot! I said 'i'm pretty good, how about you?'"
"Thanks, and i'm doing great!" I replied, but was forced away by Pinkie to be introduced to other ponies.
Pinkie managed to drag me around the entire room and say hi, nothing else, to ever single pony in the room. On the greeting tour, I met Applejack, an orange mare with a blonde mane and tail, both tied up with a red band close to the bottom, green eyes and a stetson cowboy hat. She spoke in a thick southern American accent. I also met Rarity, a pure white unicorn with a dark purple mane and tail, both were styled, and dark blue eyes. She spoke in a slight British accent.
After the meet and greet, Pinkie started up some party games, most of them she won, and brought out a cake and some other party foods.
==========
The party finished late at night, and all of the ponies had left, save for Pinkie, Applejack, Rarity, Rainbow, Twilight, Fluttershy and Derpy. Pinkie had suggested that we could all have a sleep over at the store.
We had all agreed, so she went to ask the shops owners.
While she was gone, Rainbow told the ponies about my phone, and made me promise that I would show them some of it's features (Twilight seemed incredibly excited about that).
Pinkie came back and told us that the owners agreed, so long as we cleaned up the mess afterwards.
I pulled out my phone, having decided that I would show them a few videos, songs and pictures.
"Girls." I said, getting all of their attention. "I'll show you a few things on my phone. Which would you rather see/hear; Pictures, videos or music?"
After a few moments of deciding, the ponies chose to watch a few videos, look at some photos and then listening to some music, before going to bed.
I grinned. Tonight was going to be a fun night.
Author's Note
Sorry the chapters so short. I just wanted to get the party out of the way asap.
Have this to tide you over (it also explains something in the chapter, if you don't already get it)http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=qRuNxHqwazs
Lost cause: Harmonious Brutality
"Right!" I exclaimed, clapping my hands together. "I have a few videos to show you. You know how I mentioned PowerThirst before?" They all nodded. "Well, I have the advertisements for it. I need to say this though. It isn't real. This is just a funny video, making fun of other energy drinks."
Twilight looked at me, puzzled. "Why would there be an ad, for something that doesn't even exist? That makes no sense!"
I chuckled. "It's just a joke." I explained. "It's just making fun of other things that are similar."
Twilight still looked unsure, but relented and let me continue.
I looked through my phone, found the video and pressed play.
'Hey! Do you wanna feel so energetic ? Try PowerThirst! The energy drink for people who need gratuitous amounts of energy !'
"What!" 6 of the mares yelled, genuinely confused. Pinkie only stared at the screen, a great interest on her face. I chuckled at their reactions.
'With all new flavours like Shockolate! Chocolate energy! It's like adding chocolate to an electrical storm! Sound the alarm! You're gonna be uncomfortably energetic !'
Pinkie was now leaning in, right up close to the screen, a look of longing in her eyes.
'What's that? You want strawberry? How about Rawberry ! Made with lightning. Real lightning ! Sports. *scream*. You'll be good at them! It's an energy drink for men! Menergy ! These at not your dads puns, these are energ-'
"No! Enough!" Twilight screamed, holding her hooves over her head and cowering down to the floor. "It's to masculine and scientifically impossible!"
By this point, I was rolling around on the floor, laughing my ass off, at both the video, and the mares reactions.
"Ok, ok!" I managed to gasp between breaths, pressing the pause button. "It's off now. Twilight, you can stop covering your ears and Pinkie, no. I don't have any, and even if I did, you wouldn't get it. The world is just not ready for that amount of pure energy."
Twilight, and most of the others, sighed in relief, whereas Pinkie sighed in longing and disappointment.
"Right!" I said rubbing my hands together and grinning. "Who wants to see the others?"
"No!" Was the immediate response from most of the girls. Pinkie was nodding her head fast.
"Rightio, let's listen to some music, because I just realised that you wouldn't get any of the photos on my phone!"
The girls all voiced their agreement, so I asked for a particular genre that the girls liked. Rainbow, Derpy and Fluttershy (surprisingly) said rock, Rarity and Twilight asked for some classical, Pinkie asked for techno and Applejack asked for country (surprise surprise)
"Well, I have a lot of rock and techno, but no classical and country. I, however have hip-hop, if you're cool with that?"
The mares grumbled, but relented, all saying that rock was a fair alternative.
"Coolio! Imma play some dubstep, then house music, then rock, then, my personal favourite, some power metal. Any problems with the line-up?"
When all the girls said no, I looked through my music for a good dubstep song. I ended up playing Hummingbird, by tut tut child, Worlds end, by day one and No fire, by protostar and makO. Most of the girls liked the songs, but Rarity and Twilight didn't, which was to be expected, as they had suggested classical.
For house music, I chose Harmony, by Vicetone, No one, by project 46 and Another day, by TVDS. The girls all liked these songs, except for Rainbow. She said that it wasn't as exciting as dubstep.
For rock, I chose Days go by and The kids aren't alright, both by the Offspring and Castle of glass by Linkin Park. Everypony seemed to like the songs, save for Rarity. I was really starting to not like her. She kept dissing my song choices!
For metal, I played The metal, by Tenacious D, Fear of the dark and The trooper, both by Iron Maiden. Twilight and Rarity didn't like them.
'Right.' I thought as I picked out the power metal songs. 'They have one chance to redeem themselves. One bad word about power metal, and I might lose it.'
I picked Last man stands, Fallen world and Starfire, by Dragonforce, Dragons and Fantasy, by Stratovarius, and Lost in the light, by Dungeon. The girls all loved them, even Rarity, but she preferred Starfire over the rest. Fluttershy and Dash were even head-banging (Fluttershy head-banging was easily the cutest thing I had ever seen) at one point.
"Buck yeah!" Rainbow shouted, pumping one hoof in the air. "That guitar was amazing! How can they play so fast? Ponies could never play anything like that!"
"These probably help." I said, waggling my fingers.
"Right." Dash said. "They would help out a lot."
"Yep, they do." I said. I then yawned. "Rightio, girls. I'm real tired, so I reckon we should get to bed."
The girls all voiced their agreement, so Pinkie, Rainbow and I went to get the mattresses, pillows and blankets that we would sleep on. When we got to the linen closet, however, we discovered that there were only 6 mattresses.
"Sorry Ant! I'm only used to having the girls over, and theres only six of us, so I only have six mattresses because I wasn't expecting any other guests! But now theres eight of us, and only six mattresses! What do we d-!" Rainbow, thankfully, cut off the stream of words that was poring out of the pink mares mouth.
"It's ok Pinks." Dash said. "AJ and I could probably share, and Ant and Derpy could as well! There problem solved!"
I was slightly nervous at this. I had never slept with another woman, human or otherwise, since Kate. "I can just sleep on the floor, girls." I said, hoping none of then would object.
"Like hay you are!" Well, balls to that. "You are not sleeping on the floor. Any friend of mine will always have a bed to sleep in as long as i'm around!" Dash exclaimed. God dammit. Why does she have to be the Element of Loyalty?
"Fine." I relented. "Lets just get these to the main room. I'm real tired."
Pinkie and I grabbed the mattresses (how she balanced on her back legs for that long, even when going down the stairs, will always confuse me.), and Dash got the pillows and blankets.
We entered the room, and upon putting the mattresses down, I looked at the scene most guys dread.
Rarity had brought her make-up kit.
Author's Note
Sorry for the long wait.
Lost cause: Harmonious Brutality
"Oh, thank you, darling!" Rarity exclaimed as we entered the room. "Just put them down in a pile. We will organise them after we've had our make-overs!" She squealed those last words. I shuddered.
"Rightio, you girls have fun with that." I said, getting out my phone and headphones. "I'll just be in the corner of the room, trying not to be noticed."
"Oh, nononono, darling, you have to stay with us. What, with you being such a fine gentlecolt to us, it's the least we can do!" Rarity exclaimed as I slunk over to a corner, pillow and blanket tucked under my arm.
"The least you can do is let me relax!" I said, making myself sound a lot more tired than I actually was. "I just wanna sit down for an hour or two, listen to music and relax. I might join you guys after a while, but for the moment, i'm gonna relax. Oh, and Derpy, we're gonna have to share a mattress, if that's ok with you?"
Derpy looked a little confused, but smiled and said "That's fine with me Anthony."
I flashed them all the thumbs up, before settling into my little corner, put on a song, pressed the shuffle button, sat back and let the music take hold of me.
==========
"-Thony, wake up." A voice called out. I groaned and rolled over.
"I'm sleeping." I muttered.
The voice giggled. "How could you have spoken if you were asleep?"
"Fuck you, that's how. Give me a few more minutes."
"Fine." The voice sighed. "Ten more minutes, then you have to get up."
"Coolio. Night." Was all I said before I snuggled up into my pillow. 'This pillow is amazing!' I thought, revelling in it's softness and warmth. 'It's so soft. It almost feels like... Fur.' I realised. Cracking open one eye, I saw grey fur in front of me. 'That's strange. I swear my pillow was pink last night.' I thought. I looked up, only to see two golden eyes, looking down at me.
"Derpy?" I asked, still half asleep.
"Yes?" She said, a smile forming on her lips.
"Why are you so comfy?" I asked, snuggling back down into her. Then I realised what I was doing.
"Gah!" I shouted as I jumped up. I ended up tripping over the blanket and fell, face first, into another mattress.
"Anthony!" Derpy gasped, also getting up, slower than me however. "Are you ok?"
"Fine." I grunted through a mouthful of mattress. Getting up, much slower this time, I looked at Derpy. Her face was full of concern, but a light smile was on her lips.
"How did I get in the middle of the room, when I went to sleep over in the corner?" I asked her.
"Well, after our make-overs, I looked over at you and saw that you were sleeping. So Twilight used her magic to take the blanket off of you, and gave it to me, because I wouldn't have had one otherwise. You looked really cold, but I remembered you saying that we would have to share a bed, so I asked Twilight to bring you over to the mattress. You started snuggling up to me, and you mumbled something. I think it was 'Goodnight Kate', but i'm not sure. You were really warm, so I fell asleep pretty quick. I woke up about half an hour ago, but you looked so peaceful and happy sleeping, so I just left you. Until now, of course." She said, her smile getting bigger as she spoke.
I gulped. Did I really call her Kate in my sleep?
"Thanks for that, I guess." I said, grateful for the concern she showed to me. "Where are the others?"
"Well, Rarity, Applejack and Twilight left, because they have jobs to get to, Pinkie's upstairs, making breakfast, and Dash and Fluttershy are still asleep." She explained.
"Right. I'm just grateful that I didn't land on anyone when I fell." I said. My stomach decided to make it's grand entrance at this point. I grinned. "Where's Pinkie?" I asked. "I'm starving!"
As if on cue, the crazy pink pony bounced (yes bounced!) down the stairs, platters of food resting on her poofy mane.
"I heard somepony's tummy was making the rumblies!" She exclaimed as she hopped right up to me. "Luckily your aunty Pinkie Pie has taken care of breakfast! I've got scrambled eggs, with fried mushrooms and tomatoes!"
I blinked. That was my favourite breakfast, save for the sausages and bacon, but I wasn't gonna ask for meat, not after what happened last time. "Holy shit, Pinks!" I yelled, grabbing the plate off her head and digging in. I moaned in ecstasy.
"Dish ish amashink!" I exclaimed.
"What?" Derpy said, but Pinkie just nodded and smiled, still hopping on the spot.
"This is amazing!" I repeated, after swallowing. "How'd you know I love breakfast like this?"
Pinkie just shrugged (how?) and said "Just a hunch".
I shrugged as well and dug into the food once more. While I was inhaling the eggs, I overheard Pinkie and Derpy whispering.
"...but you two looked so cute together!" Pinkie whispered.
Derpy glanced over at me (she didn't notice me looking at them), then back to Pinkie. "He seems really nice, but i'm not sure yet." She said.
"Awww, come on!" Pinkie said. "You guys are perfect for each other!"
Derpy blushed. "How can you know that, Pinkie? We met, not even 24 hours ago!"
Pinkie grinned and said "Cause my Pinkie Sense told me!"
Derpy gasped. "No way! Really?"
"Yeppy-deppy!" Pinkie said. "An eye-flutter, tail twitch and an achy back, means somepony is gonna find their very special somepony!"
At that revelation, Derpy flushed even more, and Pinkie looked up at me. Realising that I had stopped eating and had just started staring at them, I got up and walked over to them, empty platter in my hand.
"Well, thanks for the breakfast Pinkie, and yes, I heard everything, but I best be off." I stated. "I need to think about stuff." I added, looking at Derpy, who (somehow) flushed even harder.
"Okie dokie lokie!" Pinkie said. Derpy just kept her eyes to the floor and mumbled something that sounded like "See you later".
"Catch you mares later!" I shouted out as I exited the shop.
As soon as I got outside, however, I realised that I still didn't really know where anything was.
'Fuck it. I'll just roam around.' I thought and started walking.
==========
"What do ya think it is?" A voice asked.
'Fuck me!' I thought. 'Can't a man get a few hours sleep! Maybe if I ignore it, it'll go away.'
"I don't know, but whatever it is, it's really weird." A different voice chimed in.
Well, balls to that.
"Whoever's disturbing me better have a good reason." I growled. The sound of my voice caused the voices to gasp, and I thought I heard the sound of shuffling footsteps.
"W-we're s-sorry to disturb to m-mister. We didn't know you were asleep." The second voice stammered. My steely resolve softened. They sounded like kids.
"S'ok." I mumbled. Cracking my eyes open, I saw three little ponies, looking up at me with a mix of curiosity and fear in their eyes. The one in the middle was a unicorn, and had a pure white coat, with a light purple and pink mane and light green eyes. The one on the right was a pegasus with an orange coat, with a purple mane and purple eyes. The one on the right had a yellow coat, with a red mane, orange eyes and a pink bow in it's hair.
"Hi, mister." The one with the bow said. She had a southern accent, not unlike Applejack's. "Am Applebloom, and these are mah friends, Scootaloo," She pointed to the pegasus. "And Sweetie Belle." She pointed to the unicorn. "We're mighty sorry to have disturbed you, but we were out crusadin' an we saw you just layin' up against the tree, so we came up to investigate."
"That's cool girls." I said. "By the way, you sound a lot like Applejack. Are you two related?"
Applebloom looked surprised. "You know Applejack? And yeah, she's mah sister."
I nodded. "Thought so." I turned to look at Sweetie Belle. "You look a little like Rarity. You related?"
She nodded. "Yep. Rarity and I are sisters as well."
"Right." I said, then turned to Scootaloo. "What about you? Do you have a big sister?" I asked.
Scootaloo's face dropped. "No." She said. My heart dropped at her expression. "I live with only my mom. My dad (she spat that word out of her mouth) moved out just after I was born. I've never even seen him."
"I'm sorry to hear that." I said, but her voice reminded me slightly of Rainbow Dash. "Do you know Rainbow Dash?" I asked.
Her face went from sullen and downcast, to one of admiration and joy. "Yeah, I know Rainbow. Who doesn't? She's only the best flier in all of Equestria!" She said, her wings buzzing, lifting her a few feet off the ground.
I chuckled. "Seems like you're a big fan of hers. You ever talked with her? It seems like you two would get along well."
Her face, once again, fell. "I would like to speak with her, but I can't."
"Why not?" I asked, confused.
"Why would she hang around a pegasus who can't even fly?" She shouted, eyes filling with tears.
I was confused. "Didn't you fly just then?" I asked.
She shook her head. "That hardly counts as flying! And thats the best I can do!" With the last word, she started crying. Not the little kid tantrum crying, but full blown weeping. Her friends moved in to comfort her, and I moved in as well, putting a hand on her shoulder.
It took a while for her to calm down, but when she did, I looked her in the eyes and said, "Don't worry, kid. I'm sure, if you ask her, Rainbow will give you help with your flying. And don't worry about being a bit of a late bloomer. I know all about what you're going through."
"How?" She asked. "How can you possibly know what it's like to not be like any other filly your age?"
I smiled. "Because I have an Erb's palsy. It happened when I was very young. My arm was ripped out of the socket, severing and damaging the nerves in my right shoulder. Ever since the accident, I haven't been able to straighten my right arm. It stays at a slight angle." I said, rolling up my sleeve and showing them my arm.
"Ah can't see it." Applebloom said.
'Of course.' I thought, face-palming. 'They would have no idea what would be different.'
"Right." I said, rolling up my other sleeve. "Heres my left arm, all straight, and heres my right. To me, this is straight. I can't straighten it anymore than this."
"Oh." The girls said. "What happens if I force it?" Sweetie asked.
"What would happen if you pulled on Scootaloo's wings?." I asked.
"They would get pulled out of their sockets." Scootaloo answered.
I nodded. "Basically the same thing would happen to my arm. It would break, though, not get pulled out of it's socket."
"Ow!" The girls exclaimed, Scootaloo wincing.
"Right!" I said, clapping my hands together. "As fun as it's been meeting you girls, I have to go talk with a friend of mine. You run along and have fun."
"Ok mister!" Applebloom said.
"You can call me Anthony." I said, realising I hadn't introduced myself. "Or Ant, for short."
"See ya later, Anthony!" Sweetie Belle called out, as they started to walk off.
"Scootaloo!" I called out, catching the young pegasus' attention. "Don't forget to ask Dash about helping you out!"
"I will!" Was the reply. I smiled to myself. They were good kids.
"Poor Scootaloo." I said aloud, wandering how she would cope. "She'll do well with Rainbow's help, but she'll probably be ridiculed until she is able to fly properly."
I sighed. Childhood was a really hard time if you were different to the other kids.
'Right, enough delaying.' I thought. 'I need to talk with Derpy.'
I started heading out of the park, where I took my nap, and headed into town. As I walked, I tried to think of what I could say to Derpy.
"Heya, Ant!" A voice snapped me out of my thoughts. It was Pinkie Pie.
"Sup, Pinks." I said.
"What are you doing?" She asked.
"Thinking." I replied. "Hey Pinkie, do you know where Derpy lives?"
Her face turned from one of happiness, to pure, unadulterated joy. "Why?" She asked. "Are you gonna ask her something?"
I face-palmed. "Yes Pinkie, and I think you know what it is."
Her head bobbed up and down at close to the speed of sound, never breaking her smile. "You betcha! And Derpy's house is on the next street on the left, house number 14."
"Ta Pinks!" I said, heading off in the direction she told me.
"See you later, Ant!" Shouted the crazy pink pony as I departed. "And good luck!" She added.
'Thanks Pinkie.' I thought, steeling my nerves. 'I'm gonna need all the luck I can get.'
I walked up to the door of house number 14, took a deep breath, and knocked on the door.
Author's Note
I have finally gotten back into the grove of writing again!
Lost cause: Harmonious Brutality
"Coming!" Came the singsong reply after a few moments. I took a deep breath, trying to think of what to say.
'I can't just barge in and ask her straight out. That'd be rude.' I thought. 'But I can't be too discreet. Might make me seem like i'm a pussy. This is ridiculous! I hate doing this kind of stuff. I didn't even liked asking Kate, and I knew she would say yes!'
My thoughts were cut off as the door opened, revealing Derpy.
"Oh, hey Anthony." She said, blushing slightly.
"Sup, Derpy." I said, wringing my hands together. 'Fuck, this is gonna be so awkward.' I thought.
After a few moments of silence, Derpy said "Oh, where are my manners! Anthony, would you like to come inside?"
"Sure." I replied, walking past her when she stepped aside. "How are you?"
"I'm good." She said as she lead me into what I thought was the kitchen. "I was just about to make some muffins. You want to help?"
"Yeah!" I said, excited. I had always enjoyed baking. It was one of the things Kate and I did together, to relax. "I'd love to!"
Derpy smiled as we entered the kitchen. There was a small table, probably used for eating on, an oven, a fridge and a countertop, where a few ingredients were on top of. "That's good!" She exclaimed, beaming. "I have all the ingredients ready."
I looked over the ingredients. There was self raising flour, eggs, milk, sugar and chocolate chips.
"We're making chocolate chip muffins, I see." I said. Derpy nodded. "Friggin' sweet! I love muffins!"
Derpy's face lit up at that. "So do I! They're easily my favourite baked goods. Except the ones that Pinkie made one time." She shuddered. "I believe she called them 'baked bads', and I agreed completely."
I looked her with disbelief. "I thought Pinkie was the best baker in all of Ponyville! They couldn't have been that bad!"
Derpy looked me straight in the eyes. "They had potato chips and worms in them. Worms!"
I winced. "Righto. That does sound bad."
Derpy opened a cupboard and pulled out a mixing bowl. "They were. But enough about Pinkie's bad muffins, let's make some good muffins!"
"Amen to that!" I exclaimed. "Do you want me to mix up the ingredients, or do you want to do it?"
She thought for a second. "You can do it." She said. "I wanna see if it's easier with hands."
I nodded. "Fair enough. Can you pass me the ingredients?" I asked.
Derpy nodded and handed me them. "What, no measuring cup?" I asked, confused.
Derpy shrugged. "I like guessing. Most of the time it's wrong, but it makes them so much better when you get it right."
I nodded. Can't argue with that logic. "Rightio!" I said, pouring, what I thought to be, around two cups of flour into the bowl, followed by around one cup of milk and half a cup of sugar. While I was doing this, Derpy had cracked, and beaten, two of the eggs. She handed them to me, and I added them to the mixture, along with a handful of chocolate chips. As I was mixing the ingredients together, Derpy pulled out a muffin tray and greased it. She then put it down in front of the bowl, ready to be filled.
"Wow!" She exclaimed, turning her head to look at the clock on the wall. "That only took about 5 minutes!"
"I'm guessing that's a lot faster than you normally do it?" I said.
She nodded. "Oh, yes. It normally takes around fifteen minutes or so. I guess having two ponies really helps!" She said with a smile.
I started placing the mixture into the tray. "Yeah. I used to do a bit of baking back home. It was one of my favourite pastimes."
Derpy opened the oven and, when I finished pouring the mixture in it, put the tray into it.
"Well, it's nice to know I can ask someone to give me a helping hoof in the kitchen, besides Pinkie." Derpy said after closing the oven door. She then looked me in the eye, her eyes staring straight into mine.
"Yeah..." I said, trailing off. Her eyes were so beautiful.
Then I felt it. A feeling that I haven't felt in nearly two years. That warm feeling you get when you looked at someone you liked.
We held the gaze, for what felt like an eternity.
"Derpy..." I said after a while. I reached out and touched her face. Her fur felt soft against my fingers. Her eyes stayed still, but showed a slight pleasure from the contact. She suddenly reared up on her back legs, putting her forelegs on my shoulders. This surprised me a bit, but I recovered quickly, holding her up. Then her head started moving closer to mine.
'Oh, shit!' I thought, slightly surprised. 'Are we really gonna do this? I mean, she's a pony, and i'm a human!' I looked at her beautiful, golden eyes again. 'Then again, love comes in all shapes and sizes.' I started leaning forward as well, hoping to meet her in the middle. We got closer and closer, until our faces were only a few centimetres away. She had closed her eyes, and I had started to as well. We were so close, I could feel her breath against my face, making that feeling get stronger and stronger with each passing second. Suddenly, I felt her lips, soft against my own. The sudden contact made me recoil slightly, but before she could get the wrong idea, I pressed on. As our lips touched again, the oven decided to be the biggest cock-blocker in all of history.
'DING!'
"Mother of fuck!" I exclaimed in surprise, accidentally dropping Derpy, who shouted as well and flew a few feet in the air, the top of her head nearly hitting the roof. She started blushing, and, when I felt my face turn hot, I realised I was as well.
"Muffins are done." I said, smiling. Derpy's blush faded, and she too grinned.
"I guess they are." She said with a giggle. She then started laughing. Hard. It was one of those really contagious laughs, so I couldn't help joining in.
We rolled around on the floor for, what felt like, a good ten minutes, holding our sides as our bodies convulsed with fits of laughter. When I finally calmed down enough, I looked at Derpy, and saw her staring at me, a smile still on her face.
"I'll go grab the muffins. We can share them while we discuss... Stuff." She stated, getting up and walking over to the oven. I nodded and started getting up, still chuckling. I made my way over to the dining table in the middle of the room, pulled up a chair, sat down, and started recalling what exactly just happened.
As I was collecting my thoughts, Derpy flew into the room, muffin tray held out in between her two forelegs. 'How does that even work?' I thought, as she set the tray onto the table and sat down at the seat opposite mine.
My stomach grumbled, and I realised that I hadn't eaten since breakfast. I reached for a muffin, but my hand was swatted away by Derpy's wing. She fixed me with a stare and said "You should know better! The muffins have to cool down, otherwise you'll burn your mouth."
I grinned sheepishly. "Right. I knew that." My stomach started complaining as I smelled teh muffins. "They smell so good, though!"
Derpy smiled. "Yes, they do. But you'll have to wait, I don't want you to burn yourself."
I grumbled under my breath, but agreed. I looked at her face, and said "So, are we a thing now?"
"I dont know." She sighed, looking down. "I mean, we met, what, just over a day ago! You're nice, funny and i'm guessing handsome, but because I don't know your species, I can't be a judge on looks. This just seems so rushed!" She looked at me, confusion clear on her face, which gave way to a more tired look. "I just don't know what to do."
"Hey, Derpy." I said, in what I hoped was a comforting voice. "It's ok if you're confused. Hell, i'm confused as well, but we just have to take what life gives us. I should be more upset then anyone, seeing as I have been transported to a strange, alien world, filled with mythological creatures and talking horses! But you all have been so friendly and kind to me, that I think, no, I know, that this place is better than where I was from."
Derpy looked at me, confusion once again filling her features. "Don't you miss anypony from your world, though?" She asked.
"No." I said, sadness filling my voice. "The only two people worth missing back home were murdered a few years ago."
Derpy gasped at this. "Who were they?" She asked, concern laced in her voice. "Were they important to you?"
I sighed. "Derpy, I'll tell you everything one day." I said. "If we are going to become a couple, i'll need to wait until the time is right to tell you. It's bad enough that I have to tell Twilight, her friends and the Princesses fairly soon. Shit, that reminds me! I need to see if Twilight has gotten a letter back from Princess Celestia!"
As soon as I finished that sentence, Derpy's face turned from one of concern, to one of anger. "No you're not, mister. You're gonna sit right there, talk with me about whats going on and have a few muffins as well."
When I went to protest, Derpy raised a hoof to silence me. "I completely respect your decision to not tell me about your past for a while, but we still need to talk about, you know... Us." She said, and I couldn't help but agree with her. Those muffins looked great!
"Orright. But as soon as we know whats going on, i'm going to see if Twilight has gotten a response. Deal?" I asked, holding out my right hand.
"Deal." Derpy agreed, putting her hoof in my hand an moving it up and down. After the weird hand/hoof shake, she grabbed a muffin and took a bite. Her eyes widened as she chewed, and she moaned in delight.
"They can't be that good, can they?" I asked. Derpy nodded her head, and took another bite. I shrugged, grabbed a muffin, and took a massive bite out it. My tastebuds were instantly assaulted by the worst tasting thing ever. I spat out the remains of the muffin and saw solid chunks, that were not chocolate chips. I grabbed one and held it up to Derpy. "What in the hell is this?" I asked, gaining a surprised look from the grey pegasus.
"Thats a chocolate covered hay ball." She said. "I thought you said you liked them."
I face-palmed. "I said I liked chocolate chips."
"Thats what they are." Derpy deadpanned.
"Oh. Well, whatever! I can't eat anything with hay in it. My digestive system isn't meant to cope with it and it tastes like arse." I stated, causing Derpy to frown.
"So you can't eat anything with hay in it?" She asked. I shook my head. "Well then, we'll just have to make plain muffins next time!" She said with a smile, causing me to smile as well.
"Y'know, you would make a really good girlfriend." I said, earning another confused look from Derpy.
"Oh." She said, something having dawned upon her. "Is that how you said marefriend back in your world?"
I sighed at the obvious name swap. "Yeah, that's what it was."
She smiled sweetly, and said "Thanks! I reckon you would make a great coltfriend!"
I groaned internally at the title, but smiled at her. "So, is that it?" I asked.
"Is what it?" She asked, confused.
"We're a thing now." I stated, smiling.
"Yeah." She said, grinning herself. "I guess we are." And with that, she leaned over the table and kissed me. At first, I was a little surprised. But then that feeling came back, and I started to respond, putting my own lips in action.
We held that kiss for, what felt like, an hour but when it stopped, I wanted more. That was one of the best kisses i'd had in my entire life. We sat there and stared at each other for a few moments, until Derpy flew up and over the table, and landed gently in my lap. She started nuzzling against my chest, so I put my arms around her body and rested my head atop her head.
"Anthony?" Derpy asked after a few minutes.
"Hmmm." I responded, still holding onto her soft body. Her coat was incredibly soft and warm against my bare arms, almost like a doona.
"Weren't you gonna go to Twilights and see if the Princess had responded?" She asked.
"Meh." I grunted, earning a giggle from Derpy. "I'd much rather stay here."
She giggled again. "Fair enough." She stated, snuggling deeper into my chest.
We stayed in that position for a while, only moving to get a drink or, in Derpy's case, making a quick pasta sauce and putting some water on to boil.
"Since we're a couple know, you might as well stay for dinner." Was her reason, and I wasn't one to complain. We were having pasta, one of my favourite dishes, and I got to spend some more time with Derpy.
After a relatively plain dinner, Derpy asked me to stay the night, and I obliged. I told her that I would have to tell Twilight why I didn't come back. We both laughed at the thought of her panicking over where I was. She had offered to share her bed with me, but I declined, saying it was way to soon in our relationship to be sleeping together. I agreed, however, to taking out the spare mattress and sleeping in the same room.
After a few minutes of rearranging, we finally got the mattress into place. As it was still relatively early (around 9 o'clock), I showed Derpy some more music. She enjoyed all of it, but particularly enjoyed Paradise, by Dungeon, and I agreed with her. That song is beast.
We then looked over at her clock and saw that it was late. Real late. Like 1:30 am late. We laughed, said goodnight, and climbed into our beds. I put one of my headphones in and put my phone on shuffle, like I do every night, before closing my eyes, and drifting off to sleep with a smile on my face.
For the first time in over two years, I was genuinely happy. The gaping hole in my heart had been partially filled, and was closing with each moment I spent with Derpy, like she was a metaphorical shovel, filling it in with happiness and good memories, and burying the darker, more evil side of me.
These were my final thoughts before I fell fully asleep.
==========
I awoke to the sound of sobbing.
'Bloody fuck.' I thought 'Who is cryi-' I stopped suddenly as I realised where I was. 'Derpy.' I thought.
I got up and walked over to her bed, only to see her curled up in a fetal position, crying.
"Derpy." I whispered, shaking her slightly. "Hey Derpy, you alright?"
Suddenly, she gasped and bolted upright, shoulders shaking and her chest rising and falling rapidly. "Anthony!" She half yelled, half sobbed, jumping into my arms, wrapping me in a tight hug. She started speaking incoherent nonsense while I tried to calm her down.
"Shh, shh, shhhh." I said calmingly, having dealt with situations like this with Anna. "It's ok, Derpy."
After a few minutes of calming her, she finally settled down enough to speak. "Can you please sleep with me?" She pleaded, tears still in her eyes.
"Sure, Derpy." I said, climbing onto the bed and under the covers, next to her. She immediately started snuggling up against my chest, sighing contently.
Suddenly, a song, one of my favourites, started playing. It's one of those songs that you can't help, but to sing along. And thats what I did.
You come to me, with scars on your wrist You tell me this will be the last night, feeling like this I just came to say goodbye I didn't want you to see me cry, i'm fine But I know it's a lie!
This is the last you'll spend alone Look me in the eyes so I know you know I'm everywhere, you want me to be The last night you'll spend alone I'll wrap you in my arms and I wont let go I'm everything, you need me to be
I was interrupted by a light snore. Looking down, I saw Derpy, sound asleep with a light smile one her lips. I can't sing for shit, but that didn't seem to matter to Derpy. I smiled at how adorable she looked, before yawning. I realised just how tired I was, understandably, seeing as it was now 4:00 am. I yawned again, before closing my eyes for a second time that night.
Author's Note
The song is The last night, by Skillet, if you didn't know.
I wrote more than half of this chapter in less than 3 hours. I'm pretty happy with myself.
Lost cause: Harmonious Brutality
I was awoken by a fast paced knocking, coming from the front door. I looked down to see Derpy, still cuddled up into my chest, sound asleep. I groaned. 'I'm gonna have to get up, aren't I?' I thought. I groaned again, and, with a few muttered complaints from Derpy (even some from me), made my out of Derpy's bedroom and headed off towards the front door. When I reached the door, I opened it to reveal Twilight, her large, purple eyes dilated in fear. She visibly relaxed, however, when she saw me.
"Sup, Twi." I said with a yawn. She glared at me with such intensity at those words, that, if I wasn't half asleep, I would've been cowering in the corner.
"That's all you have to say to me after you've been missing for nearly 24 hours!" The lavender unicorn practically screamed at me.
I blinked. "It can't have been that long, couldn't it?" I said to myself, then to Twilight "I came to Derpy's at around 1 or something. Surely it hasn't been nearly a full day."
Twilight's glare intensified. "You're right. It hasn't been nearly a full day." She said, her voice dangerously soft. "It has been more than a full day! I've been sitting at home, worrying about you! You didn't come down to tell me you were staying at Derpy's, and the only person who knew where you were was Pinkie, and she was being incredibly cryptic. She kept giggling to herself and saying 'I can't believe they're together! It's so adorable!'. What in Equestria were you doing!" She shrieked.
I grinned. "So Pinkie didn't tell you?" I asked, receiving a nod from the enraged unicorn. My grin grew. This was gonna be great. "Well, Twilight, last night, I was cuddling up with my new marefriend." (I decided to use the ponies way. Deal with it.)
The look on Twilights face was priceless. She went from pure rage, to shock in a matter of milliseconds. I laughed at her expression. "Oh my god!" I said between fits of laughter. "I wish I had a camera! Oh, wait. I do!" I whipped out my phone and quickly snapped a picture. I had left the flash on, however, and the sudden bright light seemed to snap Twilight out of her shock.
"B-but, you... And Derpy... How?" Was all she managed to say.
"I'd rather not say any details, but I came over her yesterday and Derpy and I made muffins. One thing lead to another, and bam!" I clapped my hands, making Twilight jump. "We then spent the rest of the day, and the night, together."
As I said this, Twilights face changed once again. It was now full of joy, and I even think I saw a flash of jealousy in her eyes, but if I did, it was only for a split second.
"That's great!" She said, beaming. "It's good to know Derpy has finally found somepony special for her!" She then muttered something. I'm not sure, but it sounded like 'Even if it was before me...'
"Who is it, Ant?" Came Derpy's voice from inside the house, breaking the slight awkward silence that had fallen upon us.
"It's just Twilight!" I called back. I heard some shuffling from the bedroom, before the muffled clip-clopping of hooves on carpet was heard. Suddenly Derpy was by my side, yawning.
"Hey, Twilight." She said, after finishing her yawn. "What brings you here?"
Twilight greeted Derpy. Then her face lit up, like she just remembered something. "Oh, yeah!" She exclaimed. "Anthony, I just got a letter from the Princess. She said that Princess Luna and herself wanted an audience later in the week, preferably during the week."
I nodded. "Well then, what day is it?" I asked. "I'd like to know when we should go."
"Well, it's Thursday today." Twilight stated. She put a hoof up to her mouth, in thought. "I'm thinking, maybe we could go next Monday or Tuesday? That gives us time to tell the girls and get everything ready."
I nodded again. "Sounds like a plan." I turned to Derpy. "I don't think you'd be able to come. Will you be fine with me leaving for a few days?"
She smiled. "Of course! Especially for something so important as a meeting with the Princesses!"
I smiled back. "Thanks, hon." I then leaned down and kissed her. When I looked back up, Twilight was looking at us with wet eyes. "D'awww! Pinkie was right! You two are so cute!"
I couldn't help but notice a little bit of jealousy in her voice. 'Hmmmm.' I thought. 'I'd better keep my eye on her. You never know what a jealous woman, regardless of species, is capable of.'
My stomach grumbled. "Fwoah!" I exclaimed, rubbing my belly. "What time is it? I'm starving!"
Twilight grinned, then said "Well according to the position of the sun, i'd say it's about 2:30. Looks like your a bit late for breakfast, huh Ant?"
I blinked. "Fuck me! I normally sleep in, but never by that much! No wonder i'm so hungry." I stated.
Suddenly, Derpy's stomach grumbled as well. "Jeez, i'm starving as well!"
Twilight grinned. "Don't worry guys. I'll take us all out for lunch." We both started to thank her, but she held up her hoof to silence us. "On one condition. Don't run off on me again, Anthony."
I grinned. "No worries, Twilight. Are we going to the same place as last time?"
"No." Twilight said, shaking her head. "We're going to a less snobbish place. Don't ask for meat again. Please. I mean, I know your probably an omnivore, considering your canines, but you'll freak out everypony if you ask for meat. So just don't."
I looked at her, stunned. "You could figure out i'm an omnivore, just by looking at my teeth? Dat's insane!" I exclaimed, putting on a British accent, hoping to confuse her. It worked.
"Yes." She said, cautiously. "I try to study up on everything, even carnivores and omnivores. So when I saw your teeth, I just put two and two together."
I nodded. "Seems legit." I said, to which she responded, "Yes, it is legit."
At that, I started laughing uproariously. My chest heaved with laughter while I rolled around on the floor, clutching my sides.
"So he's an omnivore, right?" I heard Derpy ask Twilight. "Doesn't that mean he eats meat as well as vegetables and fruit?"
"Yeah." Twilight said. "You aren't bothered by that, are you?"
"Ehh, i'll work around it." I heard Derpy reply. "It's not like he'd eat any of us, right?"
I opened my eyes and took a deep, calming breath, only to see Twilight shrug. "I doubt it, but you just never know. We should keep an eye on him, just to be su-”
"Hey!" I said, cutting Twilight off. "I know I eat meat, but i'd never eat any sentient being. The animals back at my world didn't speak, or even have major thought processors. A lot of them were instinct based. I would never eat anything that could talk to me. That's one step off of cannibalism in my books. So to answer your question, no. I will not eat any of you. I wont even eat meat if it disturbs you all so much!"
"Oh, um... You heard that?" Twilight said, eliciting a nod from me. "Well, we should get going now. I'm getting a little hungry as well."
"Righto!" I said, walking out of the door. "Onwards and forwards!"
"Uh, Anthony?" Twilight asked.
"What?" I said. " I'm hungry, lets go!"
Twilight smiled. "You forgot to put on that weird clothing that you wear over your chest. Isn't it important?"
I smirked. I'd gone shirtless quite a bit in public. "Nah, she'll be right, mate." I said, in my fake Aussie accent. "Lets head off, ay gals?"
"Uh, sure, I guess." Twilight said, following me. Derpy, who was giggling slightly, started stretching her wings out. After a few moments, she too joined us, albeit from the air.
"So where are we off to?" I asked Twilight, who was looking at me weirdly.
"Wha-" She said, obviously being shaken from her thoughts. "Oh, sorry. I zoned out for a bit there. What was that?"
I shook my head, smiling. "Don't worry. I do that a lot too. I said where are we off to?"
"We're going to one of Ponyvilles best pubs." She said, surprising me slightly.
"You have pubs here?" I asked. "Furthermore, do you have alcohol?"
"To answer both of your questions, yes." She said. 'Fuckin ace!' I thought. 'I thought these ponies were to soft for booze!'
"Sick!" I exclaimed, pumping my fist in the air. "Now I can get pissed when i'm depressed! Joking, girls, i'm just joking!" I added quickly, after receiving to horrified looks from the two mares.
"Don't even think about that!" Derpy said, hovering in front of me. "Drinking is serious business!"
"Ok, ok." I said, holding up my hands. "I wont drink. Excessively."
Derpy's anger faded, and she said, with a grin, "And besides, a good drink is better shared between loved ones." She gave me a light peck on the lips after that.
I grinned and said, to Twilight, "That's one of the many reasons why I like her." They both laughed at that.
"Hey!" Twilight exclaimed. "Theres the pub!"
I looked up and saw a building, not unlike the others, but larger, with huge double doors and dining tables set neatly in place.
"Remember, Ant." Twilight said, with a slight chuckle. "Don't order meat!"
I chuckled and shook my head as we entered the pub.
==========
Lunch wasn't very eventful. I only got a few weird stares from some slightly tipsy ponies. Oh, and I found out their alcohol was salt! They put salt in water, and that counted as a beer! It tasted like shit, and I can't get drunk off of salt! I called bullshit to the bartenders, but they ignored me, as did most of the people there.
Other than that, the food was great, but my company was even better. We talked about a fair few things, but the main one was physical conditions. I had to explain my Erbs Palsy to them (Twilight took down some notes at that), and, in turn, Derpy explained her condition. She said that she had a neurological disorder that made her eyes go crossed whenever she was nervous or scared. Twilight stated that she has OCD, but Derpy and I already picked up on that.
After lunch, Derpy said she had to check her schedule for her next mail round, and Twilight said that she had to schedule a date to make the schedule to plan next months schedule. Don't worry, I was confused as well. She also said that I had left some of my stuff at her place, so I went with her. I also went because I wanted to look at some books.
The books I wanted to look at were about Equestrian history, the Princesses and the Equestrian social and ethical norms. I needed to study up on all of that, if I planned on living here, which I did.
==========
After a few hours of reading, I was interrupted by Derpy, who asked to speak to me privately. "Preferably at my place, if that isn't to much trouble." She asked.
"Nah, that's cool Derpy." I said, putting down the book I was reading. "I'm gonna have to tell Twilight though, otherwise she'll flip out. Again."
"Hey!" Twilights voice from the room upstairs, which I thought was her bedroom/living room. "I can hear you guys!"
Me and Derpy chuckled. "Alrighty then." I yelled back. "See ya later, Twi!"
"Bye Anthony! Bye Derpy!" She called out then, after a slight pause, "Oh, and Anthony, be sure to return those books exactly where you found them. Otherwise i'll have to re-organise the shelves again!"
I nudged Derpy. "Is she serious?" I whispered. Derpy nodded. "Great. Just great." I said, picking up the books and putting them back exactly where I got them from.
"Well then." I said, moving towards the door and holding it open for Derpy, like any gentleman should. "After you, m'lady." Derpy groaned and rolled her eyes, but smiled at my antics.
As soon as she was out of the door, however, she opened her wings and started flying, really fast, towards her house.
"The fuck..." I said, before realising what it was. A challenge. "Meh. Can't be fucked."
I started walking through the town, greeting the occasional pony that I saw. The sun was on it's way down, almost half of it below the horizon.
As I neared Derpy's house, a something pink materialised in front of me, scaring the shit out of me.
"Fucking hell, Pinkie!" I shouted, taking a few steps back in surprise. "Stop doing that!"
She ignored me, and started asking me rapid fire questions. "Hi, Ant! How are you? I'm good, if you're wondering, but I was wondering where Derpy was, I mean, you two are going out now, so you should be next to each other and hugging and doing all the other things that couples do. So where is she, huh?" She then gasped, really loudly. "You didn't already break up, did you? Oh no! That would be terrible! You must be feeling so sad now! And so would Derpy! Ohmigosh! How did my Pinkie Sense not pick up on this, because this is the worst thing ev-”
"Shut the hell up!" I shouted, cutting Pinkie off, who looked slightly shocked at my outburst. "Pinkie, I appreciate your concern, but Derpy and I are still together. Hell, we've been going out for less than a day! Why would anything bad happen in that short span of time!"
Pinkie looked down, and sighed. When she looked up, however, her eyes looked tired, but only for a split second, and she returned to her usual, bubbly self.
"Sorry, Ant!" She said, hopping on the spot. "I've just seen so many ponies get unhappy because things didn't go well with their loved ones. And I just can't have being sad, because then that makes me sad, too, and I hate being sad, so I try to make everpony as happy as possible!"
I smiled. Although her methods were strange, Pinkie only had good intentions. "It's ok, Pinkie." I said, putting one of my hands on her shoulder. "I don't think anything is going to get between me and Derpy. I know we only met recently, but I feel like we were meant to be, somehow. It's strange, love. It can hit you at the strangest times, but when it does, you cling onto it, and try not to let go." I realised what I just said, and face-palmed. "Fucking hell. When did I get so sappy?"
Pinkie giggled. "It's ok, Ant." She said, taking my hand off of her shoulder. "I thought it was beautiful. I'll see you later. The Cakes wanted me to foalsit later today. Bye!" She said, bouncing away.
"See ya, Pinks!" I called back, before walking over to Derpy's house, where I knocked on the door and waited.
After a few moments, the door opened, revealing Derpy. "What took you so long?" She asked, playfully punching my shoulder. "I thought you said you were the fastest runner here?"
I smirked. "That's exactly the reason. I didn't run." I said. "I decided to just take a walk and I talked with some ponies."
Derpy nodded. "Fair enough." She said. "Anyway, come in. I'll tell you when we're inside."
I followed her into the kitchen and sat down. She sat in my lap, and we hugged. After a while, I asked her what she wanted to ask me.
"Well." She said, clapping her two hooves together. "I was thinking, seeing as how we're going out, and you don't have a place to stay, would you like to live here, with me?"
I blinked. "Of course!" I said. "I mean, cause your offering and all. But won't it put more pressure on you, having me here?"
Derpy shook her head. "No, I had thought about this for most of the day." She said. "If you get a small job, paying maybe 20 to 40 bits a week, we could live in relatively comfortable conditions."
I nodded. "Seems legit. I reckon I could find an easy, well payed job. Wait, wouldn't I need a citizenship to get a job?"
Derpy blinked. "Oh, right." She said, face-hoofing. "You'd have to talk with the mayor. Oh wait! You're going to see the Princesses. Maybe they could help you?"
I nodded. "Sounds like a plan." I said. I then looked over towards the clock. "Woah! It's already 9 o'clock!"
Derpy looked over at the clock. "Aww, it's pretty late, and I have work early tomorrow. I should get to bed. You coming?" She asked.
"Give us a sec." I said, waving my hand. "I just need to think about something."
"Ok. Try to come in quietly when you do. I'm a fairly light sleeper." Derpy said, heading off to her, I mean our, room.
'What the hell is going on?' I thought, when I heard the door click behind her. 'I was a serial killer, and I was killed by electrocution! How am I in a world inhabited by the nicest creatures in existence? It just doesn't make sense!'
I decided to think about any little detail that I might have forgotten about the night that I appeared here.
'Right so first I was captured and sentenced to death. Then I was put into the electric chair, with that guard to make sure I didn't try to escape, or anything like that. Then the executioner came in...' My train of thought came to a screeching stop in realisation junction. 'Of course! The executioner! His eyes turned green, and he said something, what was it? Oh yeah, it was "Hell is too good for the likes of you" or something like that. He has to have a part in all of this! I wish I could tell someone about this. Wait, maybe if I could get Princess Luna's attention, I could tell her about this! Perfect!'
With that thought, I headed towards my bedroom. I opened the door, when I reached it, and walked over to the bed, in which Derpy was sleeping.
"Derpy." I whispered. "Derpy, wake up."
She mumbled, and rolled over. I shook her lightly. "C'mon Derpy, please. It's important."
"Whatsit?" She mumbled, sitting up slowly. "What do you want, Anthony?" She said, annoyance clear in her voice.
"Do you know if there's a way to get Princess Luna to come into your dreams, or does she just do it to ponies that need her help?" I asked, hoping for an answer.
My hopes were dashed, however, when Derpy said "I wouldn't have a clue. She's never come into one of my dreams, and i've never had a reason to talk to her. Now can I get back to sleep?"
"Sure." I said, crestfallen. "I'm going to bed too."
As I climbed into the bed, Derpy said "It's ok. You'll see her in less than a week. Just try to remember what you need to say."
I snorted. "Derpy, i'm the most forgetful person ever. I'd never be able to remember this."
Deroy groaned. "Just try, ok? Now, if you'll excuse me, I have work early tomorrow."
"I'll try." I said, pulling my phone out of my pocket and putting my headphones in my ears. "G'night, Derpy." I said.
"Goodnight, Ant." She said, before rolling over and pulling the covers over her body.
I turned on my phone, only to see that it had less then fifteen percent remaining. 'I'll take it to Twilight and see if she can charge it again.'
I put my music on shuffle, and laid down on my back, hands behind my head.
'How could I get Luna's attention?' I thought. "Maybe if I just think about her, she'll see it. Nah, that's stupid. Eh, it's better than trying nothing, I guess.'
I closed my eyes, and thought about Luna.
Suddenly, the bed felt like it dropped from underneath me, giving me a sickening falling sensation, which stopped as fast as it came. I felt myself floating, as if I was in zero gravity.
A voice startled me. "Hello." It said. "I am Princess Celestia, co-ruler of Equestria."
I cracked open my eyes, only to see a massive pure white pony, about my height, if not taller, with an incredibly large horn, and massive wings which were unfurled to their full length. Her mane and tail were coloured in rainbow, not unlike Rainbow Dash's, but the colours were dulled, and they fluttered around, as if perpetually caught in a breeze. Her face was longer, and her lips were pulled up in a smile, but it didn't reach her eyes, which held different emotions. The most prominent were caution and uncertainty, but I think I saw a little bit of fear as well, which surprised me.
"You must be Anthony Marin." She said. "I've heard quite a bit about you."
Lost cause: Harmonious Brutality
'Oh shit.' I thought, my eyes widening. 'When someone says that, it means
"Sup?" I said casually, lifting my hand up and giving a slight wave.
Princess Celestia looked slightly surprised at how I responded, but continued nonetheless.
"Yes, well, like I said, I have heard a lot about you from the reports that Twilight has sent me, and also from my sister, Luna." She stated, walking closer to me. As she got closer, I could see that she was nearly 6 feet tall, easily taller than what I was. "I would, however, like to hear it from you, if it wouldn't be too much trouble."
I sighed. "Look, Princess. I would tell you now, but I really hate repeating myself. I'll just tell all of you when we're in Canterlot."
Celestia cocked her head slightly, as if confused. "What?" She asked.
"I said, I'll tell you when we're all together in Canter-” I stopped mid sentence, as I realised what she had done. I grinned. "You cheeky little fucker." I said, chuckling.
Celestia was smiling as well, but frowned when I insulted her. "Did you just insult me, Princess of all the land, and holder of your fate?" She asked.
"Yep." I said, still smirking. "Whatcha gonna do about it, faggot?"
Her frown deepened, and I thought I had majorly fucked up for a moment. But then, she smiled, and said "It's good to finally see a creature who doesn't fear me enough to actually insult me. You're lucky I have a good sense of humor."
My smile got bigger. "I could tell you were a troll as soon as you did that little 'I'm not gonna repeat myself' thing. I actually thought I went too far when I called you a faggot."
"Well, you might of, if I knew what a 'faggot' was." She said. "Would you mind telling me?"
I nodded, and said "Well, it really depends on what you're looking at. You see, 'faggot' has multiple meanings. The first, and least well known, is a bundle of cigarettes, tied up in a piece of string. The second is a bundle of sticks."
Celestia nodded, and asked "Are their any others?"
I grinned mischievously. "Yeah." I said. "The third is a derogatory slang for a homosexual person."
She looked shocked when she realised what I had said. "Did you just call me gay?" She asked.
At that, I burst out laughing. Hearing the Princess say that was just too funny.
When I recovered, I looked at her and said, "So what do you need to know?"
================
When I woke up, I was startled to see Twilight, and her friends, at the foot of the bed.
I blinked at them. "Shit, did I forget to turn my swag off?" I asked, looking around the room.
"Anthony..." Twilight started, but I interrupted her with; "Because I woke up surrounded by bitches!"
They all looked confused, and Rarity said: "What's a bitch?"
"Shut up, ho." I said, staring flatly at her. This caused further confusion on the girls parts, except for Pinkie, who was giggling throughout the entire thing, and made the situation much more amusing for me. "So what's up, Twi?"
She shook her head, as if to clear her mind. "Um... Well, you've slept in, and we kinda need to leave for Canterlot in half an hour." She said.
I blinked. "Wait, weren't we supposed to leave on Monday or Tuesday?" I asked. Then, realisation dawned on me. "Are you telling me I've been asleep for fucking four days?"
Twilight smiled sheepishly. "No. You've been asleep for a week and a half!"
A look of surprise flashed across my face. "So, I've been asleep for a week and a half?" I asked. The girls nodded. "And did any of you think to wake me up?"
Twilight nodded. "Yeah. We came in here every morning, and tried to shake you awake. When that didn't work, we got Rainbow to bring a cloud inside, and let it rain on you for a few hours. That also didn't work. We were just about to use the Elements, when you woke up."
My eyes widened. "Wait, you were gonna use the most powerful artifacts, in the history of ever, that you've used to banish gods, and turn an almighty being into stone. And you were gonna use them to try and wake me up?"
Twilight looked embarrassed, and a bit scared. "Um... Yeah..." She said, looking down at the ground.
I grinned. "Bitchin'. When are we leaving for Canterlot?"
Twilight looked at me in disbelief. "Wha... Why are you not shouting at me? It was a stupid idea, and I should have realised that. You should be angry at me!"
I stared at her, flatly. "My mum used to do worse." I stated, eliciting a gasp from all of the girls.
"Um... How could she have done worse?" Fluttershy asks. She then gasped again. "You don't mean! She didn't... Hit, you? Did she?"
I look at her, shocked. "Fuck no!" I shouted, startling the girls. "No, she used to tickle me, and stick her fingers in my ears. She never hit me. Although, she did threaten me a lot..." That part was mumbled.
Rarity looked confused. "How is that worse, than possible banishment or imprisonment, darling?"
"You shoulda seen the looks on your faces!" I managed to gasp out between laughs. When I got myself under control, I asked "No, for real, when are we leaving?"
"Right now, silly!" Pinkie said, unfazed by what I said before. "In fact, we're gonna miss the train!" She then started giggling. "Unless we hurry up, we'll have to delay the Princesses another day!" At that, she burst out laughing. Twilight, however, shook her head, and exclaimed "No! We can not keep them waiting any longer! C'mon girls, lets go!"
All of the girls followed her out, but I stayed where I was. This didn't go unnoticed by Twilight.
"Ughh, what is it now, Anthony?" She cried out.
"I'm not a woman." I deadpanned, staring at her.
"Wha..?" She started, before she realised what I meant. "Oh, come on! You now what I mean."
"I'll humour you this time, Sparkle." I said, briskly walking past them. "But do not confuse my gender again, or I will make good on my promise. Except with Rarity being the shank, of course."
Twilight rolled her eyes. "Whatever. Lets just go already!"
As we walked over to the train, I realised something. "Wait, where's Derpy?" I asked the girls.
"She's on her mail-route right now." Rainbow said. "I left her a note, explaining where we're going, and why."
I nodded in approval. "Bitchin'. Well, let's shake a leg, shall we?" I said, as I started jogging towards where I hopped the station was. It wasn't, of course.
"Um, Anthony?" Fluttershy asked, lightly prodding me on the shoulder. "You're going the wrong way."
All of the girls say that I mumbled something like 'always fucking happens', but I'm sure they were just high.
Anyway, we got to the train, and boarded, with but a little trouble concerning the conductor, who was shouting something like 'Mutant hairless Diamond Dog' and 'kill it with fire', but I wasn't really giving a shit.
The train started moving shortly afterwards, and nothing really that major happened. (AN: I hate fillers. They can go die. Trains are boring).
================
We arrived in Canterlot a few hours later. During hose few hours, I found a nice spot to just chill, and listen to some music. When we got off at the station, I held my hand up, stop the girls, and started sniffing the air.
Twilight sighed. "What are you doing, Anthony?" She asked.
I ignored her. "Why does it smell like incompetence and arrogance in here?" I asked.
To which, to my surprise, Rarity answered. "Because it's full of politics and nobles, darl-" She caught herself before she could finish, upon noticing the look I was giving her.
"Fuckin', really?" I asked, my voice dripping with annoyance and dread. "Well, we better make a run for it. I hate these kinds of people."
"Nonsense, Anthony!" Rarity said, with a light laugh. "These ponies are actually very nice, if you just got to know them."
"Well, ain't I glad that's never gonna happen." I said, as I walked through the doors. Upon doing so, I saw literally hundreds of the nobles. I turned to Twilight, and said "Teleport us to wherever it is that we're meeting the Princesses."
"I can't just teleport into their throne room!" She said, almost looking shocked. "What if they're in a meeting with some important ponies from another country, or discussing top secret plans for the country, or-"
I put my hand on her mouth, to silence her. "That wasn't a question." I said, looking into her eyes.
She nodded fearfully, and her horn lit up.
Suddenly we appeared in a large room, with a gold trimmed red carpet leading from a set of massive double-doors, to two thrones, (one was slightly bigger than the other), which were currently unoccupied. There were brilliant tapestries all over the walls, along with elegant stained glass windows.
I however, was too busy feeling sick to notice, or care, about these things. I think I was mumbling something about how I was never going to do that again, but I can't remember.
All of a sudden, a white light shone down from above the thrones, bathing the larger one. A large white pony, with wings and a horn, descended down from above, moving slowly. This was none other, than Princess Celestia. At that point, all who were witness to this spectacle, could swear they had heard a choir singing somewhere. When she landed, which she did carefully and elegantly, she walked forward, until she stood directly in front of us. She then flared her wings, broke out into a huge toothy grin, and said
"'Sup, bitches?"
Author's Note
What!? It's back?!
I know I said I cancelled it, but after a long, long think, I realised that I couldn't have abandoned his story, especially when it's so early on! Anyway, I plan on making it a lot, and I repeat, A LOT, more sillier than last time.
Also, updates will be less frequent, as I don't have a writing schedule, or an editor. So this should be fun!
Thanks to y'all who stayed around, and I hope you enjoy!