The First ChapterView OnlineBunderblissThe First Chapter“BUNDERBLISS” a Davidism fanfiction (1) For just a few moments, Rainbow Dash felt the world’s weight wash away. Eyes half closed and yawning, she wiggled under the white and blue blanket on her bed, and bunched the pillow under the side of her face until it was just right. One blitzed-out rain machine, three dozen panic stricken ponies, and six hours of disaster control later; all she could think about was her bed, and sleeping it off like a bad hangover. The only thing that made sleeping late in the morning a complete drag, was the fact that her house was more or less pitched over Ponyville, and any and all sounds were apt to drift her way. Nevertheless, within seconds of touching down on her bed, Rainbow Dash was fast asleep, and tossing with unconscious turmoil. The dream was always the same. The same flight over Northpeer Meadow; the same voices talking, and the same pool of shimmering luminescence. Each time she dreamed the dream, she would fly toward the strange pool of light, touch down a few meters away, then approach it as though it were routine. Just before her hoof would make contact, she would wake. Sitting upright in her bed, she rubbed at the side of her face, and blinked a few times. It was already late afternoon. She’d slept much longer than she had intended. How many times was this now? Four? Always the same damn dream, but only when she least expected it. A final yawn, and another rub at the side of her face with her hoof, and it was time to start the day. A very late day at that. After a quick dip in the bathtub, and some hasty primping and preening in front of her bathroom mirror, Rainbow Dash surged from her front door with a fresh zeal, and launched herself into the late day sky. For a fleeting moment, she allowed herself a look back toward the skies of Cloudsdale. As far as she knew, there were no pressing matters to tend to, and no impending disasters waiting. She should relax, but the worry was ever-present. The knuckleheads had it under control. Looking down, she noticed there were an unusual amount of ponies gathered at the post office. In fact, there were a lot of ponies gathered at the post office. The last time she could recall an assembling so large was either during one of the mayor's speeches, or some sort of celebration. Then again... Tilting her angle of flight, she made for the gathered crowd, and landed near the back. The instant wash of chatter and conversation gave her a mild sense of revulsion, as though she were reliving the last few hours of her shift at the factory. Seconds after landing, she noticed that there were two immediate problems with her chosen spot. For starters; she still couldn't make out what in the name of the gods was going on that had everyone so worked up, and secondly, there was a huge pony with a large straw hat blocking her view directly ahead. Frowning, Rainbow hovered up higher than the crowd, in an attempt to scout out a better vantage point. Had the wind, or the noise of the crowd been just one decibel stronger, she might have never noticed the small subtle voice beside her. "Rainbow Dash, are you here to see the new gadget, too?" When she turned to face the voice that had spoken to her, she noticed Fluttershy hovering next to her. Her face was stained as though she had been either shouting or attempting to get her attention for the longest time. "Hey, Fluttershy. What's with all the commotion? And what's this about a new gadget?" "Well," Fluttershy began, only to have her voice drowned in a fresh surge of crowd chatter. Rainbow Dash could only watch as her mouth worked, and her jaw moved up and down, with no sound. "Sorry, what was that?" Rolling her eyes in mild frustration, Fluttershy began again. "I said..." It was no use. Getting Fluttershy to shout over a crowd of ponies was like asking a tornado to tip-toe through a flower patch. It was never going to happen. "Oh, for gods sake," Dash said exasperated. "This is hopeless." With a final humph of irritation, Fluttershy reared back, and pointed near the front of the crowd, all the while cutting her eyes at Dash. Letting out a loud sigh—lost to the noise—Rainbow Dash flew up high over the crowd to push her way toward the front. It didn't come as any shock that Twilight Sparkle was the one heading up all the commotion. Should have known it was her, the second someone mentioned the word, "gadget!" Standing next to Twilight was the postal pony, Ditzy Doo. She was teetering back and forth on her hooves, and looked as though she was about to faint. Rainbow Dash landed next to them, and caught just the tail end of the panicked pony's discussion. "The building code clearly states, Ms. Sparkle, that the maximum occupancy for any one occasion is not to exceed more than fifty ponies." Ignoring the worrying mail-mare, Twilight turned her excited look at Rainbow Dash. "Rainbow! Did you come to see the new gadget we got for Ponyville?" "Ms. Sparkle?" Ditzy continued, hoping to recapture her attention. "Uh, well... to be honest, I just found out about it," Dash said, rubbing at the back of her mane. "I think you're going to love this," Twilight said, as she squeezed herself past some onlookers from the post office. "I'm so excited, you have no idea." "I'm beginning to suspect," Dash said, just as an arm and hoof reached out and took hold of her nape, dragging her inside. Deftly moving through the interior of the post office, Twilight pulled and drug Rainbow Dash until the two of them reached a small wooden box hanging on the wall. At which point, Twilight stopped and stood proudly, clearly waiting on her friend's reaction. "Well?" she goaded, impatient with the wait. "What do you think?" "Uh... well, it's um nice. I guess." Looking up at the wooden box, Twilight shook her head and swiveled her attention back to Rainbow, puzzled and confused. "The greatest invention since quill and parchment is just... nice?" "Twilight, I hate to break it to you, but that's just a box with some string attached. Hardly the invention of a lifetime." "Ms. Sparkle," said the walleyed mare, approaching Twilight from her side. "About those building codes." "In a minute Ditzy," she said, holding up her hoof at Ditzy Doo's muzzle, all but cramming the front of her leg in her mouth. "It isn't a box, it's a televox." "A what now?" Calming her breathing, Twilight took a deep breath, and began excitedly. "It's a televox. A device that uses science to send a pony's voice over short or long distances." Reaching for the bell shaped object attached to the cord, Twilight brought it up to her ear. "All you do is speak into this small horn here on the box, the sound from the pony on the other end of the line comes out through here." Rainbow Dash looked on with one eyebrow slightly raised. "So, there's another one of these, whatchathingers?" "Oh yes, there are at least five of them. One in Canterlot, one in Cloudsdale, one in Appleloosa, one in Manehattan, and one here in Ponyville." "Seriously, there's five of them?" Giggling for a second, Twilight regarded her friend as though she were missing an obvious point. "Don't act so surprised, Rainbow Dash. It's just science." "Yeah, well I'd be more impressed if I could see this thing in action." "All in good time. The televox cables aren't quite ready yet; this is more of an unveiling ceremony than an actual demonstration." "Well then, it just went from almost awesome to not." Waiving her hoof in the air, she said, "Come get me when it's time for something to happen." The expression on Twilight's face suddenly changed, and her eyes darted to the nearby clock. "Time? Oh my gosh! I got so caught up here with the televox that I completely forgot." "Forgot what?" "The rocks for the town square!" Before Rainbow Dash could question her further, Twilight turned and ran for the exit; leaving one confused pony, and one frustrated pony in her wake. "Aww fiddlesticks!" Ditzy shouted as she watched Twilight bolt away into the crowd. "This place is never going to hold all those ponies." Turning to Ditzy, Rainbow Dash said, "Any idea what she means by rocks for the town square?" Ditzy just shrugged. Twilight Sparkle was standing near the town square watching with growing anticipation as the first of five large covered carts pulled into position to unload their cargo. She was so excited that she nearly forgot she wasn't just a casual observer. Walking up to her slowly, a grey pony with a hard hat stopped next to her and thrust a clipboard under her nose. "Here, sign this please." "Maude, is that you?" Twilight asked, blinking back the surprise. "The one and only," she said, in her ritualistic monotone. "I apologise for not being here sooner, but I needed to take inventory of the stock while on route." "Yeah, only every time we stopped!" yelled one of the drivers from behind her. "It was a long trip," Maude said, nodding. "Bullshit! We left at seven thirty this morning, and could have been here by ten!" "Their hearts just aren't into this project like mine is," she said with a glint of glimmer in her eye. Nodding, Twilight reached for the pen, and signed her name. "So, how long is it going to take to get the whole thing assembled?" Instead of answering, Maude scrutinized Twilight's signature, then looked back up at her closely. "Could I get an I.D. to compare your signature, please?" "Uh... I left it at the library." Looking back down at the signature, then once more at Twilight, Maude nodded. "Congratulations, Ms. Sparkle, Ponyville is now the proud owner of sixty-two thousand, five hundred and eleven pieces of obsidian." "Maude?" "Yes?" "How long?" "If I can get myself properly motivated, a few days." While Twilight was still speaking with Maude, Rainbow Dash flew into the middle of town, and landed next to them. She exchanged looks with them, then offered Maude a salute. "Hello, Rainbow," said Twilight. "Uh, hey." she said, taking in all the trucks and unloaders. "What's with the movers and the shakers?" "We're unloading rocks for the new town square gazing pool." Maude Pie was still holding her clipboard, and watching as the unloaders pulled the massive canvas tarps from the backs of the carts. "That sure is a lot of rocks," Dash observed with curiosity. "Why are there so many?" "The gazing pool was discovered years ago at an archeological dig near the Saddle Arabian border," Twilight said. "Since then it's sat in a museum in Los Pegasus. Now with the recent renovations, they decided it was time to put the pool up on display, and Ponyville was selected as the site." Cutting her eyes at Twilight, Rainbow said, "Yeah, I bet you lobbied pretty hard for this thing to come here." "Actually it was my idea," Maude interjected nonchalantly. "I've been studying the pool off and on for some time, and this way, with it reconstructed, I can get a better understanding of the architecture and maybe the reason its builder chose to construct the piece from obsidian." "Is that some kind of rare rock?" "It's an igneous rock, formed when felsic lava is extruded and cooled rapidly with minimum crystal growth." "And that means?" "It's volcanic glass." Maude said, blinking a time or two. "Oh," Dash said, nodding. "That's all you had to say. See, isn't that much easier?" "Not really," Maude said, shaking her head subtly. "Anyway," Twilight interrupted, "we're glad that you can be here. I'm sure Pinkie is looking forward to your visit." "She wants to commemorate my visit by having the two of us build a popcorn house." "How exactly does one build a popcorn house?" Twilight asked, looking to Rainbow Dash for a possible suggestion. Maude just stood there, staring, then said, "With popcorn." Taking in the scene once more, Rainbow Dash watched as some of the obsidian rocks were being taken from the first cart. The smooth surface of the glass struck her as being familiar, somehow. Curiously, she walked toward the worker pony lifting it. "I'm curious as to how these rocks could possibly hold water," Twilight told Maude. "Won't the stones leak between the cracks?" For a second, Maude stood there, mulling over her answer. "It's just one of the many mysteries of the pool," she said. Catching sight of Rainbow Dash, Twilight noticed that she was holding one of the obsidian pieces, and was staring off into space. "Is everything okay there, Rainbow Dash?" When she failed to answer, Twilight walked closer to her, and touched her on her shoulder. "Hey, are you listening?" The touch from Twilight brought Rainbow Dash from her thoughts, and she looked up seeing Twilight, then looked down seeing that she was holding one of the rocks. Immediately recognizing it, she dropped it on the ground, and backed away a few wary steps. "Hey, be careful with that," she scolded. "It could shatter or shard." "I uh, need to go. I've got a lot to do," Dash said, backing away further, faster. The world seemed to be swallowing at her, and the blank expressions on Twilight and Maude were near unsettling. If only there was something that could connect the unease with the familiar. Shaking her head, Rainbow said again, "Gotta go, Twilight. I'll catch you later." "Rainbow Dash, are you sure that you're okay?" "Yeah, never better." After a minute or two, Twilight let out a sigh and finally nodded. "Okay, well, I'm gonna stay here and watch a little bit longer." "What about your box back at the post office?" "I'm sure Ditzy Doo has everything there under control." With a last wave, Rainbow Dash leapt back toward the sky, and flew in the direction of her house. Why did that stupid dream have to come back to her now, of all times? Couldn't she just have one normal day, without something getting under her skin? "Dammit!" she yelled, once she was certain that she was out of earshot. "Stupid rocks!" It was already nearing dusk when she arrived on her doorstep. Too late to do much else, except maybe try and catch up on some of her reading. Opening the front door, and traipsing in, she quickly went to the generator, and gave it a few cranks; enough to ensure that she would have enough light for the next half hour or so. Then, once she was satisfied, she flipped on the switch to the interior lighting in the den. Walking a ways further, she stopped at her bookshelf, and peered at the spines. Naturally, she owned every single Daring Do novel—had read them each a half dozen times in fact. And, she wasn't really in the mood to begin the entire series over again. There had to be something else to read. Oh, Twilight. If only you could see what has become of me, she thought, still pouring over the many books that lined the shelves. Unsatisfied with any of the titles, she reluctantly turned and went to her kitchen. It was time for a drink. Once she had a nice stiff scotch, she returned to the bookshelf, and randomly chose a book to take her mind off of her problems, at least until her next shift at the factory. making herself comfortable on the couch, she took a generous sip from the scotch glass, and then began turning pages in the book. Looking up once, she gave the interior of her house a once over. It was large, quiet, and empty. Another drink, and she found herself quickly absorbed in the adventurous tales of Danger Dodge. It was almost humorous how all the popular adventure novels featured a hero or heroine whose name began with "D". Huntsville, Texas Two days later Lee Morgan stood at his kitchen window watching as the stone workers set about outside in his back yard. In his right hand he held a ceramic mug half filled with coffee, which read "Writer's Fuel." It was 8:15 in the morning, the first cup of coffee was gone, and for the moment, all he could do was peek through the mini blinds and watch as the workers hauled the transparent black glass from the catalogued pile to the spot where his new reflecting pond was going to be. He considered going out there, and making like every other rich asshole that bothered the construction crew while they tried to do their job, but settled on just lifting the blinds again, and peeking. Taking another sip from his coffee, he made a face and went to the kitchen to pour more hot brew over the top that was in his cup. Once he had topped off his mug, he heard the distinctive sound of his ringtone as it played from his livingroom. "Hello?" "Lee, we need to talk." It was Matthew Coulson. This was not what he needed first thing in the morning. "Well, if it isn't 'Agent' Coulson. And to what do I owe the pleasure of your call at not-finished-with-my-coffee time?" "Oh, I think you know full well what this is about." "I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that you didn't like my review of Chester's book." "It wasn't a review, Lee, it was a slaughter." There was the sound of a deep breath being exhaled. "I asked you to pen a small critique; that you liked it." "What you wanted me to do was lie," Lee said, smiling. "Is this an ego thing, like King? Your books are always better than everyone else's?" "I never said that, but I'm not going to say that Chester Winter's second novel is something which it clearly isn't." "You said, and I quote: 'The book is just plain bad copy, that while grammatically correct, is so harsh; were it read aloud, it would cause brain hemorrhaging equal to that of Vogon poetry.'" "I seriously don't think I wrote that," Lee said, drinking down the last of the coffee in his cup. "It says, 'From the desk of David Devere' at the top of the letterhead." "No what I mean is, I thought I compared his style to that of Paula Nancy Millstone Jennings, of Sussex." "Can you possibly take life more seriously than this? The kid deserves a shot, okay? His first novel went bestseller, and his second novel already has more pre-orders than the first one has sold. So you stretch the truth a tad, and just sign off on the damn book. Hell it might even throw a few sales your way." "What are you my pimp?" "I'm whatever I need to be," Matt said. "So do the critique over, make up some bullshit, and everyone at the publisher's will be happy again." Walking back to the window to peek through the blinds once more, Lee noticed that the workers were standing around shaking their heads while looking into the half formed circle of placed stones. "Hey, Matt, I'm gonna need to call you back." "You'll redo the review?" "Consider it done, and on your desk this afternoon," he said, then pressed the end button on his phone. Setting the empty coffee cup down on the kitchen counter, Lee bundled his robe around him tighter and walked to the front door. Once outside, he cautiously approached the gathered group of men, and looked down inside the circle of stones they had been assembling. "Is there a problem gentlemen," he asked, just as he noticed that the bottom of the gazing pool was holding what looked like a reflective, shimmery, liquid. "I swear to god, that we didn't add a drop of water to this thing," the foreman said, looking from the shimmery surface of the pool back to Lee. "It just appeared there." After several minutes of loud talking, a few arms being waved in the air, and some mild to medium level panic, Lee made the decision to go back inside and call the company that he used to purchase the imported pool. Surely they had to be able to tell him something about the damn thing. Dragging the invoice papers from the folder in his filing cabinet, he sat down behind his desk, and started punching their telephone number into his cellphone. The company was located in Crete, though their sales rep had an office in New York somewhere. For the first few rings, everything seemed to be going smooth. He'd get a hold of someone, find out more about this stupid liquid in the bottom of the pool, and get his mind put at ease. Unfortunately, the fifth ring and every ring after that sounded like electronic warbled noise. He was just about to end the call, double check the number and redial, when a female voice answered with, "Yeah?" "Uh, hello, yes... I need to speak with someone in your export sales department." There was a long pause, and then in the background, he heard another female voice say, "Is it working? Then ask them how the weather is in Cloudsdale." "Uh... hows the weather in Cloudsdale?" "Is this a joke?" Lee said, double checking the invoice, looking for a name. "I don't think they can understand me too well," the female voice said. "I'm trying to speak with someone about my recent purchase," Lee said, trying to remain calm. "Who is this that I'm speaking with?" "It's working, I think. My name's Rainbow Dash. What's yours?" -- ~ --
The Second ChapterView OnlineBunderblissThe Second Chapter(2) The stiff drink that Rainbow Dash fixed quickly turned into a second and a third. Eventually, her eyes couldn't handle the strain of reading, and she reached next to her for her glasses; her egghead viewers, she joked to herself. Not the big flashy glasses that the pony at the eye doctor's wanted to push off on her, but nice, and neat. Made from durable plastic, and designed to give her a much smarter look. It may have all been a load of shit, but it made her feel less conspicuous, or would make her feel less so, should she find herself in a situation where one of her friends were to discover the spectacles. After the third drink, and two thirds through the book, Rainbow Dash decided that it was time to end the day, and make for bed. Tomorrow was no doubt going to be a long day, and the last thing she needed was to have anything less than her game face on when she punched in for her shift. Letting out a long held in breath, Rainbow allowed her mind to drift back over the last few passages of the book she had been reading. Danger Dodge was considered by all the fans to be the male equivalent of Daring Do. Smart, heroic, and adventurous; but, every time she read from a Danger book, she felt something lacking, as though there wasn't near enough sincerity in the words, or the author's heart just wasn't in it like it should have been. Either way, there was definitely something lacking. This wasn't to say that the books weren't good. They were good, and she enjoyed reading them. Tonight however, she was just in a strange mood, and she carried that strangeness into her dreams, yet again. Like the many times before, the dream began with her flying, with no concept of time, or distance. As though, all space were even on the same level surface; smooth and unwavering. And like the many times before, she didn't know where she was going, only that she needed to get there, she was compelled to go there, to find the place with stones, with the water, and with the shimmering reflection. Standing in front of the pool, she looks down. Her reflection is looking back at her, only slightly disturbed by the rippling effect of the liquid. Calmly, she extends her hoof, and touches the surface; only this time the dream continues. This time she can feel the heat in her forearm, and the strange sensation of the fire that burns her all the way to her shoulder, and then up her long neck, and finally into her brain. Her eyes are stinging; wet trails of moisture are forming and running down the sides of her cheeks, and there is a voice speaking, the sound is so very distant, like a voice in a long tunnel. The line at Sugarcube Corner was long when Rainbow Dash arrived for her usual cup of coffee and two glazed donuts. Ahead of her, was a large overweight pony holding up the line, while his order was filled, and then refilled again. There was nothing more irritating than customers that acted like jerks, just because the customer was always right. Had she been more awake, or in a fouler mood, she would have said something, or just outright flattened his ass. Score one for all the little ponies of the world. Choosing rather to sigh, and just wait in line like everyone else, Rainbow Dash allowed her mind to drift to happier places, when she was pulled back to reality by Twilight's voice. "Hey Rainbow Dash, getting an early start?" Twilight was in an unprecedented good mood, notably from having two simultaneous projects going in Ponyville; and while her bubbly attitude was often infectious, it was lost on Rainbow for the time being. "Yeah, I've got to go make sure the overnight supervisor did his job, and probably clean up a dozen small fires, left to burn out of control." She offered Twilight a wary expression. "All in a day's work." "Is everything all right?" Twilight asked, leveling her gaze directly at her friend. "The way you took off yesterday, I thought maybe you were feeling ill." "Nope," Dash said, as the line moved forward. "Fit as ever." Wincing slightly, Twilight nodded that she understood. She hated it when her friends lied to her, but figured that it was something she wasn't ready to be told about yet. "Well, if you need to talk," she said, offering Rainbow a solid smile, "you know where to find me." "Sure do," Rainbow said, just as the line moved, and she found herself next in front of the smiling worker pony. "I'll have a cup of black coffee and two glazed donuts." Though nothing else transpired between them, Twilight watched as Rainbow Dash acquired her order, tucked her donuts into her flight bag, and gripped the coffee in her teeth by the top handle. There was a small look that passed between them, and for a second Twilight was sure that she saw a hint of fatigue working its way through her friend's face; but, just as soon as it was there, she was gone out the door and off into the early morning sky. Once she was within sight of Cloudsdale, Rainbow Dash began going over her day's agenda in her mind. As a senior supervisor, she had lots of periphery work to do that wasn't what she would consider hooves-on. Paperwork needed attention, orders needed to be verified, and then she had to look over the quality assurance notes from the night shift's inspectors to make sure that the product for the weather service was consistent. The last thing they needed was a rainshower that poured buckets of vomit reeking chaw, rather than the fragrant clean crisp wet they were used to. Once the office crap was handled, she could start making her rounds, and, if she was lucky, knock some knuckleheads together. A thought that brought a smile to her otherwise fretful face. To her surprise, everything seemed to have gone well. There were no accidents, no formula problems, and so far as she could tell, no-pony had fucked anything up beyond all hope. Things were almost too good to be true. So sure of it in fact, she actually stopped one of the shift leaders, and demanded to know what the hell had happened that the place was running smooth. "It was just a good night," she had said. "No problems." I find that hard to believe, she thought. If there's one absolute about anything, it's that this place is a magnet for unexpected shit. True to what she had been told, there were no situations. The day went smooth as well, with no problems, and no-pony getting maimed or mutilated in the machinery. Despite not believing what was clearly in front of her, even the three members of the Knucklehead Brigade were actually doing their work, and being half-way productive. If she didn't know any better, she'd swear that she was still dreaming, and that somehow, on the other side of that strange shimmery pool of ripply nonsense, was a doorway to a place where her life wasn't in a constant state of disaster. Things of course were always too good to be true, and by the time punch-out rolled around, Rainbow Dash was knee deep in busted machinery. One of the grease-ponies had failed to check the pressure valves on the frost maker, and pressure rose too high, and the whole thing nearly blew. Thank the gods, there was the main engine block melting down, and caving in on one side that prevented it from going critical. Sitting behind her desk, with her hoof over the bridge of her nose, she had her eyes squeezed shut, trying desperately to find the words to say to the three buffoons that stood like captured enemy soldiers in front of her. "It's not like we didn't check the valves on purpose," Stone Slate said, doing his best to defend himself in front of his subordinates. "There was a coolant problem with the number five reservoir, and by the time we got that fixed, the damn thing was going critical." Shaking her head, Rainbow Dash almost gave in, and offered a sympathetic ear. But, this was one time too many that the knuckleheads had cost her, cost the factory, and had come dangerously close to getting her ass in a sling with the big-wigs upstairs. Never mind the fact that the equipment in the facility was over two decades old, and had been serviced to the point of fatigue and exhaustion; it was her job to supervise. And if it came to her or them, it was going to be them every time. "I have in front of me the report on the reservoir," Dash said, allowing her hoof to fall from her face to the paper on her desk. "I also know that the incident took place long after the scheduled diagnostics on all the valve lines. So while I get that you had your hooves full with the coolant reservoirs, the pressure valves had already been overlooked, even if you had managed to pull yourselves away, they still would have failed, and the factory equipment in section five wouldn't look like melted butter!" Loose Knot wanted to say something, and opened his mouth, but Rainbow Dash cut him off before he could begin. "I don't want to hear it," she said, cutting her eyes at them. "You three are docked four days pay, and you're working double shifts until the factory gets back on track." "Aww, come on!" Knot said, bowing up his shoulders at her. "We deserve better than this!" Letting out a chortle, Rainbow Dash said, "You three fuck-ups couldn't hit the floor with a brick if you dropped it on purpose; what you deserve is having your legs broken in three places. So just be glad I'm only docking your pay. Or would you rather I just dish out termination forms now?" "It's fine," Stone Slate said, holding his hoof out in front of his friend. "We get it. We'll take the pay cut." "The next incident I hear about... I mean, the very next fart from any of you, and you're all three out on your flanks! Got it?!" Slowly, the three of them nodded. "Good, now get the hell out!" The three of them made a beeline for her office door, and all but tripped through. On his way out, Rainbow Dash overheard Loose Knot say, obviously loud enough for her to hear; "What a bitch! Just because she can't get laid, doesn't mean she has to hate on us." Flinching visibly, Rainbow turned her chair to look back over the factory floor. The words stung. The truth always hurt. Maybe she wouldn't be such a cast iron bitch if she did have a very special some-pony. Maybe her life would have been different had she decided to be less independent, and settled on domestication. Too many what if, and maybes. Fuck 'em! What did they know! Bringing her hoof up to rub at the side of her temple, she heard the whistle blow for the shift change, and the signal that the daytime shift had ended. Not a moment too soon. One day later Before it was even light out, there was a knock on the door. It was the sort of knock that demanded to be answered, but that didn't exactly sound like it was an emergency. It wasn't until the third set of rapid knocks, that Rainbow Dash remembered that she wasn't in her house... she was in Twilight's, and given the degree to which her head was throbbing, she was sporting one mother of a hangover. Groaning, and turning over in the bed, she brought the pillow up over her face, and let out a series of muffled and muted curse words, before she tossed the covers back and went to answer the door. She was just entertaining thoughts of homicide, when she opened the door and saw Spike standing there on the other side with his arms folded across his chest. He looked pissed. The feeling was mutual. "Something I can do for you, Spike?" "Well, if you're finished lazing about in bed all day, then you can go meet Twilight at the post office, she said something about needing help from a pegasus pony." Cutting her eyes at the little dragon, Rainbow Dash, rubbed at the side of her head and nodded. "Fine, go tell her that I'll be there in a few minutes." "She wants you now!" Spike said, showing his irritation. "Well, she can wait a minute!" Not bothering to hear any more about it, she closed the door, and winced at the pain in her head. Little ingrate! Can't a pony at least go to the bathroom first? Making sure that the door was properly secured, she stumbled into Twilight's bathroom, and shut the door behind her. The medicine cabinet was calling to her, and certainly within was a pain relief tablet of some sort. A bookworm of Twi's magnitude, who was constantly staying up all hours of the day and night was bound to get raging headaches. Popping open the medicine cabinet, she spied a glass jar with white pills. The label on the side read, "Pain-B-gone." "Good enough for me," Dash said, nabbing the jar and popping the cork. When she closed the cabinet back she caught sight of her reflection in the mirror. She looked haggard, and worn out. Definitely not the same pony she was a few years ago. Definitely not the poster pony for the element of loyalty. "What the fuck are you staring at?!" she shouted at the reflection, then giving her head a shake, she downed the two pills, and placed her mouth under the faucet. Grabbing a spare brush, Rainbow Dash did her best to remove some of the tangles from her mane, wincing at the knots that she'd acquired while tossing in the guest bed. Then, setting the brush on the vanity, she rushed out. If she had time, she could still grab a coffee before she met up with Twilight. The line at the bakery was gone when she arrived, and she was grateful that she didn't have to wait; though once she had her coffee, she noticed Maude Pie sitting by herself at one of the outdoor tables. She was worrying the top of the table with one hoof, while pouring over the contents of her clipboard with the other. It had been a couple of days since she had arrived with her caravan of obsidian, and Rainbow was curious about the stones, if only to reassure herself that they weren't the harbingers of her doom. A feeling she felt crawl up her spine every time she thought about them. Casually approaching Maude, Rainbow asked her how she was doing, and motioned at the seat opposite of hers. "Mind if I join you?" "You may sit," Maude said, looking up once from the clipboard. Sliding herself into the seat, Rainbow Dash opened the top of her coffee, and took a cautious sip, careful not to burn her tongue. After a few seconds of continued silence, Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes, and cleared her throat. It was painfully obvious, that if she was going to have any sort of conversation with Maude, she was to be the one to initiate it. "Uh, so... learning anything new about that fountain?" Dash asked, offering a wry smile. "It's not a fountain. It's a reflecting pool." Maude said, not looking up. "Right, my mistake," Dash said, sipping more from her cup. "So about the pool. Anything new?" Slowly bringing her face up to look Rainbow Dash in the eyes, she said, "As of now all work on the pool has been suspended." Blinking in surprise, Dash said, "Really? Why?" "Yesterday, for unknown reasons, the pool took on a thin liquid in the bottom; and, due to the magical nature of the liquid, we've decided to hold off on the construction until one of the professors from my university arrives the day after tomorrow." "C... can I see this liquid?" Nodding once, Maude rose from her seat, and waited for Rainbow Dash to fall in behind her. "It really is most unusual," she said. "Nothing in my research has even hinted that the pool may be of magic origin, though considering the fact that the pool is constructed of obsidian, could be a factor." It didn't take a genius pony to put two and two together. Rainbow dash knew the first time she laid eyes on the obsidian that it was the same sort that was in her dream. In fact as soon as she saw the reconstructed drawings, she could tell it was the same as her dream. The same shimmery and ripply pool. It wasn't like her to have premonitions. She had no psychic abilities in her at all. If anything, Pinkie Pie was the psychic one, and the rest just ran like idiots whenever she announced a shiver up her spine. There were few words that could adequately convey what she felt, looking down in the pool, and seeing the liquid. Sensations that coursed through her whole frame, and caused shivers to run up and down her spine. The reflective surface of the strange water in the bottom of the pool seemed almost otherworldly. Despite herself, Rainbow had to restrain herself from reaching a hoof out, and placing the tip against the silvery surface. Shaking her head, Rainbow Dash brought herself out of her temporary funk. When she turned to Maude, she saw that she was watching her intently; her face still expressionless, and unreadable. "Maude, what would you say, if I told you that I've been dreaming about this pool? That, I've been dreaming about it for weeks, and more... every night recently?" Blinking a few times in slow progression, she watched Rainbow for a few long pauses, then said, "Well, I'd say that you have some problems." Letting out a heavy sigh, Rainbow agreed. "I know. But, I'm not psychic or anything, what am I doing having dreams about this dumb pool?" Turning her gaze to the pool, Maude shrugged her shoulders. "Have you told your friends about this?" "I wouldn't even know where to start." "Twilight is the most qualified pony in all of Ponyville to offer her assistance, isn't she?" "I can't bother her with this stuff." "Sometimes friends need to be bothered," Maude said, frowning at Rainbow Dash. "It's how they know they are needed." "That doesn't make a lot of sense," Dash said, "but I'll give it a shot." Sucking back the last of her now lukewarm coffee, Rainbow leapt in the air, and shot off for the post office. She hadn't meant to spend so much time with Maude. She only hoped that whatever it was that Twilight needed her help with, it was still there, and that she hadn't let any-pony down. In less than a heartbeat, she was already over the post office, and watching as several ponies were hard at work putting large poles in the ground. In the distance, she could see a large thick black cable that ran connected with the poles. "Twilight, sorry I'm late. I got caught up talking with Maude, and I really need to ask you something." "Hey Rainbow Dash, good morning! I didn't expect to see you here." "What... you didn't?" Shaking her head, Dash said, "But you sent Spike to come get me. Something about needing a pegasus pony to help you." Pointing her hoof up and out the window of the post office, Twilight shook her head. "Ditzy Doo's been helping me plenty. I don't know why Spike went and woke you up. I told him several times that you were off work today, and that I wanted you to sleep in, and get as much rest as you could." "You did?" "Of course. You seemed like you hadn't been getting proper rest, and I wanted you to do your best to take a load off." "That's really, uh... nice, Twilight. Thank you." "It's no problem. We're friends after all." Slouching her shoulders, Rainbow Dash walked over to Twilight, and gave her a hug, squeezing hard, and deliberate. "I'm sorry, I've been such an ass lately." "Well, you're my ass. Er, um... that didn't quite come out right." Chuckling, Rainbow Dash pulled away, and raised an eyebrow as she pretended to check out Twilight's back section. "Sorry, but your ass looks nothing like me." Once the moment had passed, Twilight said, "You had something important to ask me." "Well, it's about the pool," Rainbow began. "What about it?" "Miss Sparkle!" Came the voice of Ditzy as she peered in from the skylight over the lobby of the post office. "The last of the connections have been made!" Instantly distracted, Twilight looked up, and nodded. "Right! I'll check down here, and send the first ring back!" Moving to the televox, Twilight lifted the receiver, and turned the crank on the side once, then twice. "There, that should do it!" Placing the receiver back on the hook, she moved back and waited. "Any minute now." "Twilight... I really need to tell you this, before we get too caught up in something." "Something's wrong," Twilight said, instantly fretting. "They must not be getting anything." "They, who?" "Cloudsdale!" Twilight all but shouted, working herself into a panic. "Rainbow Dash try again, I'm gonna check the connections myself." "You want me to do what, now?" "Just do like I did. Lift the receiver, crank the handle and wait a few minutes." "Oh, for the love of everything good and holy!" Rainbow Dash shouted, as Twilight scooted off to start double checking the wall plugs. Before she could lift the receiver, there was a loud ringing emitting from the wooden box. Instantly, Twilight came back in, and asked what Rainbow had done. "I didn't do anything!" she said, cringing. "Well, answer it! It's probably Cloudsdale!" After the seventh ring, Rainbow Dash shook her head, and reluctantly lifted the receiver. Glaring hard at Twilight she moved to the mouth piece. Bracing herself, she said, "Yeah?"
The Third Chapter (Part the First)View OnlineBunderblissThe Third Chapter (Part the First)(3.1) The very first thought that Lee Morgan had once he heard the name, Rainbow Dash, was that he was somehow being pranked. Obviously, one of his buddies had come along, tampered with his reflecting pool, and rigged the invoice. It was all some sort of practical joke. Of course, it was also entirely possible that he had simply dialed the wrong number. So during the brief momentary silence, he looked back at the invoice, and brought his phone around to look at the number that he had dialed. Damn! No such luck. It was the correct number, and he was just stuck with a smart-ass customer service rep. "So uh, are you going to answer me?" The voice was rather gruff for a female, and he found it instantly irritating. "Answer you about what?" he said, still trying to focus, unsure if he were hitting a dead end or not. "I asked you your name. You do have one, don't you?" "Right," he said. Maybe this could still be salvaged; it was entirely possible that he was talking to a company reject, and if he spoke slowly and ignored the antics, he would still get somewhere. "My name is Lee Morgan, I'm calling because I'm having a problem with one of your products." There was a long pause, and Lee could hear some conversation going on in the background. Two, no make that three excited voices. Finally, the gruff Rainbow somebody came back on the line. "I'm told to tell you, 'On behalf of everyone here at Ponyville, we are excited to share in this historic and...' What now? Momentous? Right! 'This historic and momentous occasion.'" "What the hell is Ponyville?" "What do you mean, what's Ponyville? It's who you're calling, dude!" "I thought you said your name was Rambo Nash." "It's Rainbow DASH... and Ponyville is the place I'm at, standing by this box, talking to you." "I'm not one to argue petty facts, sweetheart, but I happen to know for certain, that there is no such place as Ponyville, not now, not ever. Now are you going to stop playing around and put me through to my sales rep?" "Listen here fella, I don't know what kind of joke you're playing, but you can take your crappy attitude and shove it up your ass." For a split second, Lee thought about letting her have a long robust string of expletives, but settled instead for the atypical scoff and awe. "Excuse me? I'm the one with the attitude?" "Yeah, that's right! You're the one with the attitude pal, I'm just doing what I was told." "So you were told to be a smart-ass? That's original, I've gotta say." At this point, Lee was already gritting his teeth, and his jaw was beginning to ache. "I think some-pony owes me an apology," Rainbow said. "Apology my ass! I want to talk to your supervisor." "I don't have a supervisor, I'm doing this as a favor. So I demand a little consideration here!" "You know what, to hell with this. I'll try somebody else that actually seems to give a shit!" By this point, Lee was already on his feet, and pacing the room. He ended the call, and let out a loud guttural man-yell, as he brought the cellphone up to his mouth and bit the bottom of it. In Ponyville, Rainbow Dash heard the call end, and said, "Hello? Hey, jerk-wad?" Then turning to look at Twilight, she let out a frustrated scream, and slammed the earpiece back on the cradle. "Moronic, ass-hat, bitch!" Lee shouted as he double checked the number on the invoice. "Stupid, jerk-ass, fuck-head!" Rainbow Dash shouted as she paced the area of floor in front of the televox. "Why me!?" Lee said. "It's like the whole world—" Rainbow began. "—is out to piss me off!" Lee concluded, doing his best to calmly re-type the number for the company. Concerned about what was happening, Twilight Sparkle approached Rainbow Dash, and politely asked, "What the heck is going on here?" "Some idiot from Cloudsdale is being a royal ass!" Rainbow said, as she continued to pace the floor, seething with apparent hostility. "Gods, I'm pissed. I haven't been this pissed off in months!" "Just calm down, and try telling me what it was exactly that the pony said to make you so upset." "He started in asking for some sales rep, and then proceeded to tell me that Ponyville wasn't a real place. When he started giving me attitude, I asked him to apologize, and he started going off the handle, asking for my supervisor, or some nonsense." "Are you sure you were talking to someone from Cloudsdale?" "Twilight, you would know better than me, you set up this televox system." Scrutinizing the wall mounted box, Twilight rubbed her hoof across the bottom of her chin. "That's true, though, I can't imagine why in the world some-pony would want to start trouble like that the first time they use one of these." "I'll tell you why: because they want to be a dick!" "Rainbow Dash, that's not a nice thing to say," Twilight said, scolding her. "Sorry, but if you'd talked to that guy, you'd be upset too." "Just try and calm down," Twilight said. "I'm sure there's a perfectly good explanation for all this." No sooner did she finish with her rationale, then the televox began ringing again. Frowning, Rainbow Dash stomped up to it, and took a quick deep breath. Maybe this time it was actually from Cloudsdale, or they finally got their act together. "Yeah?" she said, cutting her eyes back at Twilight for confirmation that she was doing it right. "Yes, I need to speak with someone in your export sales depar... wait a minute." "You again!?" "Aw, son of a bitch!" "Listen here asshole, I've had enough of you and your stupidity. Either put someone on that knows what they're talking about, or get off and never call here again!" "That's funny, I was just about to say the same thing to you, bitch!" "Who are you calling a bitch? You lopsided dick-stain!" "I... actually, that one was pretty good." Growling deep in her throat, Rainbow said, "Please mister, you don't know what kind of week I've been having here, between your dumb ass, the fuck-ups at work, and the gods-damn gazing pool, I'm ready to strangle some-pony! Please give me a break!" "Oh, boo-hoo. Cry me a river. At least your gazing pool isn't half filled with some sort of mysterious shiny goo for no damn reason, and don't even get me started on my work, precious." "Don't even go there. I've been having nightmares about my gazing pool for weeks, as though I'm some kind of psychic or something," Rainbow Dash said, putting her free hoof on her flank defiantly. "I'm beginning to think my mind is going to snap like a worn out rubber band." "Wait." "What?" "You've been having dreams about my gazing pool?" "What?" Dash said. "No, I've been having dreams about my gazing pool. And how do you know it has shiny goo in the bottom?" There was a long silence that passed. So deep, it sent waves of chills through Rainbow Dash's whole frame. "Where are you?" Lee said, calmer, and more subdued. "Who is this, really?" Rainbow Dash said, a slight waver to her voice. "Is this Rare Earth Exports?" "No. This is the post office in Ponyville." "How do you know about the gazing pool?" Lee said. "Because we have one partially constructed not two blocks away in the middle of town square." "Uh, is... is it black volcanic glass?" "Obsidian." Looking out the window, Lee could still see the workers gathered around the gazing pool in his yard. One of them was holding a stick, and looking at the end of it. Obviously, they had resorted to poking at the liquid, and wouldn't be satisfied until something happened, or they blew themselves to smithereens. Torn between his mysterious phone call, and the overly curious workers, he decided to put plans on semi-permanent hold until he could get some bottom line answers. Hanging his head out the back door, he motioned for the foreman, and told him quietly, "I want you and your men to call it a day. I'm gonna contact the seller, and figure out what that is, so, uh... I'll call when I get more information. I've got someone on hold as we speak." The foreman mumbled something under his breath and then proceeded to pass the orders off to his men. "Are you still there?" The female voice was calmer, but sounded worried. "Yes," Lee said. "I'm still here." "So, if you're not in Cloudsdale, then where are you?" "I'm not exactly sure what Cloudsdale is," he said going to the coffee pot for another cup of coffee. "I live in Texas." "Is that far from Canterlot? "I suppose so, since I've never heard of Canterlot. I've heard of Camelot, but it's just a made up kingdom from storybooks." "I've been asked to ask you if you're using a televox." Rainbow said. "Is that like a phone?" "It's a wooden box with a doodad for the ear, and a place to talk into." "Okay, yeah, a telephone. Yes, I'm using a telephone, but not an old fashioned one like that." There was a pause, and suddenly a different voice came on the line. "What exactly do you mean by, 'old fashioned?'" "Uh, who is this?" Lee asked taking a sip from his cup. "Sorry, my name is Twilight. You were saying something about old fashioned?" "Yes, we haven't used a phone system like that for decades." "But, we just had them installed," Twilight said. "They're the latest invention. They're going to replace the quill and parchment!" "Quill and parchment?" Lee suddenly had a strange thought occur to him. "What year are you living in?" "It's the fifty-seventh year of the third celestial age," Twilight said. Shaking his head to rattle his thoughts back into order, he said, "What planet are you living on?" "What kind of question is that?" "What's he saying," Rainbow Dash said, trying to worm her ear next to Twilight's to better listen. "I'm testing a theory," Lee said. "This is planet Earth." "Well, there goes the theory of alien communications," he said, slouching back on his couch. "You mean like, foreigners?" "Not really. One more question. What country do you live in?" "We live in the kingdom of Equestria," Twilight said, proudly. Shaking his head, Lee said, "Wow, you people must have some kind of affinity for horses." "What do you mean?" "So far, I've heard a Ponyville mentioned, and now an Equestria. What's the deal with that?" "Well, we are ponies after all. I guess we'd have names that reflected that culture." "Seriously? You're a pony?" "Why does that surprise you? Of course we are. What are you?" "I'm a human." "H'yoomen... like the mythical creatures?" Twilight was instantly calculating in her head. "That's not possible, h'yoomens are just fantasy." "I'm definitely a human," Lee said. "This is so strange." "Oh, don't worry about that. Strange is what I do for a living. I love strange." "Give me the thing!" Lee heard over the line, then Rainbow Dash cutting in. "You're not a pony?" "Not since the last time I looked in the mirror, doll-face." "So like you're talking to me from another planet?" "Maybe," Lee said, adjusting himself on the couch. "It's not entirely outside the realms of the impossible, but I've gotta say that I never thought it would happen while I was sober enough to remember it." "Heh, you and me both." Doing her best to completely ignore Twilight, Rainbow Dash asked, "So how do you think this happened, jerk-wad?" "Still with the names?" "I'm still mad at you." "All right, I'm sorry for calling you a bitch, and all that other stuff. I figured for sure I was getting punked out by my friends or something." Letting out a huge sigh, Lee ran through some quick considerations. "I honestly have no clue. If you really are from a planet called Earth, and yet you live in a fledgling phone using society, and you're a pony to boot, then you must be from an alternate world." "Maybe this is magic," Dash said, offering a new fresh angle on the process. "That's possible, but so far as I know, I'm not magical, nor do I own a magical phone." "Magic is pretty common place here in Equestria," she said, shoving Twilight away, who, upon hearing the word magic, instantly had her interest piqued. "I'm just trying to wrap my head around how I can speak your language." "This is so, weird. I mean, you're understanding Equestrian." For a few seconds, during a sudden silence, Lee began calculating the situation. If this was real, and he was always willing to believe in the impossible; whether they be ghosts, or Elvis, or Pennywise the murdering clown—there had to be a rational reason for how this was happening. "Are you still there?" Rainbow asked. "Still here," Lee said. "I'm just thinking about how a connection like this could have happened." "Beats me. Outside of some magical spell, then I'm clueless." "Has anything out of the ordinary happened there?" Lee inquired. "Like, oh, I don't know... an obsidian gazing pool suddenly holding gooey shimmery water?" "When did you get the gazing pool installed?" "It showed up here a few days ago from some museum." "That's about the same time mine arrived, but the workers didn't have the bottom half completed until this morning. I saw the bottom of it holding liquid, and since there was no rain, and the bottom wasn't sealed with anything to fill the gaps between the obsidian, I sort of freaked and attempted to call the people that sold it to me." "So the gazing pool has something to do with you talking to me right now?" "It's the simplest explanation," Lee said. "Complicated situations don't necessarily have complicated solutions." "That sounds like something, Twilight would say. Speaking of which, she wants to ask you a question." "Sure, let 'er rip." "Hi, Twilight Sparkle again. I'm just curious as to how you can be so calm about all this. I mean, we may have accidentally stumbled upon the first ever communication between worlds. Doesn't that make this historic or something?" "Honestly, I'm a huge proponent of the multiverse theory. And, if the truth be told, I was actually hoping that you were aliens from another planet in the universe, not talking ponies. Though that is still cool, don't get me wrong. Just not what I'd always wanted to happen." "So, you're not about to stroke out from sheer excitement?" Twilight asked, breathing heavy. "I've had three cups of coffee this morning, and I'm about to go brew another pot. My excitement is matched and superseded by my overabundance of caffeine intake." "Sorry about that," Rainbow said, coming back on the line. "She's kind of excitable sometimes." "You said that you have been dreaming about the gazing pool?" "For a while now," Rainbow confessed. "At first I thought that maybe I was just overworked, you know, that maybe it was stress, or something. Then they started happening more and more often." "Now see, that's odd," Lee said, moving through his kitchen with the used coffee filter from his pot in hand. "I haven't had any kind of dream about the gazing pool." "I'm not psychic." "There's a lot going on that we don't have answers for." "Maude says that her professor is gonna show up in a couple of days and examine the pool, maybe he can tell us something about it." "Who's, Maude?" "Maude Pie, she's the pony that showed up with the pieces of the thing, and she's been working on the reconstruction. She's like the biggest rock nut in the galaxy." "Where exactly did your ancient pool come from," Lee asked, carefully pouring a heaping scoopful of coffee grounds into a fresh filter. "Somewhere near the Saddle Arabian boarder," he heard Twilight shout in the background. Guess she was still listening in. "Mine came from Crete. I guess that doesn't help." "So, what now?" "I don't know. I suppose we can see which of us is brave enough to go touch the shiny goo." "Yeah, the hell with that," Rainbow said, pushing on Twilight. "Gods, Twilight, you're hanging on me like a heated mare." "Can I ask him?" Twilight was all but wringing her hooves together. "You've been using the televox so much already, I think I deserve a turn talking to the h'yoomen." "We're talking about important things," Rainbow said, holding her hoof out. "You just want to conduct some sort of sick experiment." "What's that about, experiments?" "Twilight wants to ask you some questions." "Put her on," Lee said, watching as the black water began pouring from the top of the pot into the glass carafe. "Lee, right? Is it true that your kind are wild woodland creatures that prey on smaller animals for their flesh and fur? Oh, and are you warm blooded? Does your kind lay eggs, or do you give birth to live young? What is your reproductive cycles like?" "Okay, that's enough. For fuck's sake!" Shoving Twilight back, Rainbow Dash gave her a deathlike glare, and held her at arms length. "I am so sorry about that. I told you she was bonkers." "You said, excitable." "You don't know the half of it," Rainbow said. "If she has her way, you'd be strung out on a small table and she'd be poking at you in various holes until you released all your kind's deepest and darkest secrets." "She doesn't do anal probes, does she?" "What?" "Never mind. It was a bad joke." Stretching his back, and rotating his shoulders to relieve them, Lee paced his kitchen. He considered going over to the window and checking that the work crew had left, but knew it would be a wasted effort; they were no doubt long gone by now. "So, what do we do?" "I wish I knew. This connection may not last forever, so maybe your friend Twilight has the right idea. Maybe we should learn as much about each other's world as we can, while we can." "What did you have in mind?" Rainbow asked, growing slightly excited. "Tell me about yourself. How old are you? What do you do? What's your Ponyville like?" "Uh... wow, I'm kinda put on the spot here." "How so?" "Suddenly, I'm realizing that I'm talking to someone from another world," Dash told him. "I'm kind of worried I'm gonna do it wrong." "That's very uncool thinking," Lee said, pretending to scold her. "Where's that fire from earlier that was ready to blitz my shit?" "Oh, well... I work in Cloudsdale at the weather factory. I'm twenty-six years old." Swallowing hard, Rainbow Dash asked, "What about you?" "I'm thirty-seven, I work at home." "What do you look like?" Lee asked. Suddenly, Rainbow Dash could feel heat building around her face. It wasn't like her to get embarrassed, and she didn't know why she did so now. It was stupid. "I'm a pony... duh." "Are you short, or tall?" "Depends on who you ask. I stand about two and a half cubits tall." A cubit? Damn, it was going to take some memory jogging. If he remembered his measurements right, a cubit was the length of measurement from the elbow to the middle finger. But, on a pony that could be drastically different. A common cubit was eighteen inches, and an Egyptian long cubit was about twenty inches. So if he was anywhere near accurate, she was about three and a half to four feet tall. "What else?" "Why does it matter what I look like?" she asked. "I want to be able to picture you." "My coat is blue, but not dark blue. It's light, like my mother's; like the sky. And my mane is different colors." "Like a rainbow." "Yeah... like a rainbow." Suddenly, a horrible static began to be heard, and Rainbow Dash cupped her hoof to her ear to listen. "Lee?" "Hello? Rainbow Dash?" Checking the cell phone, Lee could see all bars. "Lee can you hear me? Something's wrong!" Before she could say another word, the static became unbearable, and then silence. "Oh, no! I think we've lost him!" "Quick, go and check the pool!" Twilight said. Speeding from the post office, Rainbow Dash streaked to the center of town, and screamed in horror. "Maude, STOP!"
The Third Chapter (Part the Second)View OnlineBunderblissThe Third Chapter (Part the Second)(3.2) There wasn't anything wrong with the cell phone, and there wasn't anything obstructing the signal, as best as he could tell. Nevertheless, something was definitely wrong. Every second that passed seemed to drag on slower. Hurriedly, Lee slipped into his house shoes and bolted from the back door of his kitchen, stumbling around the leftover construction tools and equipment, until he was facing the gazing pool. Keeping the phone pressed to his ear with one hand, he knelt down next to the basin of the pool, and gazed in. The strange liquid was still there, and as it was the first time he saw it. "Hello? Rainbow Dash, are you there? If you are... something's happened, and I can't hear you anymore." Bringing the phone around once more, he checked the display. Good, the timer was still counting; which meant he was still connected to a call. Looking back down at the shiny goo in the bottom of the gazing pool, Lee stared at the substance hard, thinking about every possible reason why reaching in would be a bad idea. One, one-thousand... Reaching in and tickling the goo isn't going to work. Two, one-thousand... Shut up! You don't know that. It's speculation! Three, one-thousand... What's it going to be? It's the moment of truth. Bringing his free hand back, Lee squeezed his eyes shut. "Lee, can you hear me?" Catching himself, Lee stopped his hand from hitting the goo by centimeters, letting out a small guttural yell. "Yeah, I'm here." "Thank the gods," Twilight said. "For some reason, the signal just went silent. I guess Rainbow Dash fixed whatever it was." "Yeah, I guess so," Lee said, falling back onto his butt in the yard, and letting out a long held breath. "I thought we got cut off, and this was the end of our intergalactic communication." In the background, he could hear Rainbow Dash as she burst through the door of the post office and began explaining to Twilight what was happening, though, there was a lot that he couldn't make out. "What's she saying?" "Here, let her tell you," Twilight offered, as she fell silent, and Rainbow replied. "Like I was telling Twilight; I went to the gazing pool to see if anything might have happened to it, and guess what... Maude was trying to take the damn thing apart." "What?" "Yeah, she already had three of the obsidian pieces pulled from the edge of the basin, and was about to toss them back onto the pile of other pieces when I hit her like a freight train." Chuckling to herself, Dash said: "That is one tough pony, let me tell you. She thought I was a some kind of molester or something, cause she started sending those hooves flying. I took a punch to the face before she realized it was me." "Damn. Are you all right?" "I'm fine. I've been hit before, though, I am still kind of seeing stars." After a momentary pause, while Lee made his way back into his house, he asked, "So, what do we do now?" He figured it was best not to mention that he was almost stupid enough to plunge his hand into his gazing pool. "I guess we continue the questions, if you want." "I'm good with that." "So..." Dash said, propping herself against the wall next to the televox. "So," Lee said, dropping his house shoes off at his back door, and walking through his kitchen. "Who goes first?" "What were we talking about?" "You were describing yourself to me," Lee told her, as he plopped back down on his couch. "You were just about to tell me how pretty you were." "I was not!" Rainbow Dash said, almost squeaking with a sudden rush of embarrassment. "Oh come now; azure coat, rainbow mane... you sound like a knock-out." "Pfft! Yeah right! I bet you don't even know what a pony looks like." "There are ponies on my world, so I know. And some of them are quite beautiful." "Really? You have ponies there?" "Yeah, but they're not as advanced as you are." "How so?" "Well, they don't really talk, and they don't have any sort of society. They're all meadow dwellers and what-not." "That's too bad, because here, ponies rule!" "So, are you?" "Am I what?" "Pretty." "I'm not going to answer that," Rainbow said, fidgeting uncomfortably. "Though I could lie to you; it's not like you can see me." "No lies, I want the truth. Am I talking to a hottie? Are all the boy ponies lining up to take you out on a date?" "No, and sadly, no. I'm not on any-pony's radar in that regard." For a second, Lee felt guilty asking such a pressing question, but offered to sooth over the awkwardness. "You want to know what I look like?" "Sure." "I'm uh, let me think, about four and a half cubits tall." "Geez, you must hit your head on a lot of doorways," Dash observed. "No, not as many as you'd think. I'm also, slightly dark skinned; I don't have a coat, and, my hair or mane is black." "What about you?" Rainbow said, cupping her hoof over the mouthpiece. "Are you pretty... er, uh, handsome?" "I've been told that I'm ruggedly handsome." "Moving on," Dash said. "You can tell your friend, Twilight, that I'm an omnivore. I eat both vegetables and meat." "You do? You don't eat ponies, do you?" "I'm pretty sure that pony doesn't taste good, so no, we don't eat ponies. Just other defenseless creatures." "That's terrible!" Dash said. "You actually kill little animals and eat them?" "I don't. Our meat is processed somewhere else, and comes packaged. Though, you're right, animals are killed for our food. It's the circle of life here; can't help it." Rainbow stuck her tongue out at the thought of eating flesh. "Well stop it!" "Sorry, I need to live. Meat provides the best source of protein for my kind." "Gross. Let's talk about something else." "Okay. You mentioned that you work at a weather factory. What does that mean?" "I work at the weather factory, where the weather is made." "You're making that up," Lee said, chuckling. "No one makes the weather. It's a naturally occurring meteorological process." "Not on my world," Rainbow Dash said. "We make everything from rain to rainbows." "Let me guess. Magic, right?" "Kind of, though pegasus ponies aren't known for having much magic." "Wait... did you just say, pegasus?" "Yeah." "Who's a pegasus?" "I am dumb-ass." "You kind of neglected to mention that when you were describing yourself," Lee said with a huff to his voice. "Well, forgive me. Hi, I'm Rainbow Dash. I'm a blue pegasus pony. Ya' happy now?" "And you can fly?" "Well, duh." "Are you flying right now?" "That's dumb. No, I'm not flying right now. I have my hooves firmly planted on the floor." "Oh. Speaking of being a pegasus; you haven't by any chance met a dude named, Bellerophon have you?" "Bellero... wha?" "He's just some really old mythical dude that once rode a pegasus into godly warfare." "Sounds like a doofus. Pegasus ponies don't wear saddles." "Really?" "They obstruct the use of our wings." "So I guess you giving me a ride is out of the question?" "You're bigger than me; you'd squish me flat if I tried to put you on my back." Then after a second, she said, "We're not talking about that kind of ride, Twilight. Get your mind out of the gutter! Stop laughing, Ditzy!" "Are you surrounded by a bunch of ponies listening in?" Lee asked. "Yes, they won't go away." "Trying to keep me all to yourself, huh." Blushing, Rainbow said, "I'm just talking because..." "You think humans are cool." "In your dreams. H'yoomens are strange. I'm just finishing what I started." There was a short silence, and when she came back on the line, Rainbow Dash was talking as though she were strained. "So, what's up?" Lee asked her. "Uh, I sort of need to go. I've had coffee this morning, and the little filly's room is calling to me." "I think I'll take a short intermission as well," Lee said. "I'm working on my second pot of coffee after all." "Be back in a few minutes," Dash said then hurried away from the televox, but not before gently laying the mouthpiece on the top of the wooden box. Taking this as an opportunity to get undressed, and into some better clothes for the day, Lee sprinted off. The first thing he needed to do was relieve himself, then grab something to wear. Whether he wanted to admit it or not, he still had other pressing things to attend to, as much as he would like to sit on the phone talking to ponies. Hastily slipping into an over sized tee-shirt, and his best jeans with holes, he checked to make sure that his stubble wasn't beyond the point of needing a shave, and traipsed back to the kitchen, where he eyed the still half-full pot of coffee. Better not. Anymore of that and I'm liable to fly off into outer space. The cell phone was still where he left it, and he picked it up; holding it to his ear. There wasn't anyone on the line yet. Sitting down behind his desk, he looked over the contents. He wasn't sure how long it took for ponies to go to the bathroom, and for all he knew, Rainbow Dash would need to leave the post office to go, so that bought him some time to check into something. Bringing up the browser on his computer, Lee typed in, "portals to other worlds" in the search field. The first in the list of results was for an article about gaming. The rest were for nonsense things like: Portals to the world of flowers, or the inevitable answers page from Yahoo, where some schmuck asks if there is life on the other side of a portal. As far as Lee was concerned, the answer was yes. There was life across the gulf. But, that wasn't what he was after. In fact, he wasn't exactly sure what he was hoping to find. One interesting result, was a blog article about portals, called The Speculative Life. It didn't seem too deep, but did mention Ray Bradbury's novel, The Veldt. Interesting, but probably not applicable. Rainbow Dash didn't seem to be speaking from a virtual reality simulation where wishes manifest. Collapsing back in his chair, he let out a short quick sigh, and brought the back of his free hand to his face to rub away some of the left over exhaustion from his eyes. "He.. hello?" At first the voice reminded Lee of a small bird. It was quiet, but not overly quiet. "Hellooo-o? Is any-pony there?" "I'm here," Lee finally said. "Who is this?" "I... I... well, they told me to wait. My name is Ditzy Doo, I'm the assistant postmaster." "Is that really your name?" "Yes, it's my name. Why? Don't you like it?" "It's cute," Lee said. "You... really think so?" "Sure," Lee said, bringing his phone around to check the power. He still had plenty. "So, you're the boss there, huh?" "Oh, no, I'm just the assistant. I handle the in-office sorting." "I see. Must be a hard job." "I manage okay," she said. "So what do you think about all this talking with a human from another world? It's got to be exciting, right?" "It sure is," she said, getting louder. "Why, the other day, when they were installing this televox thingy, there were more ponies here than the building could handle. I thought we were going to be over capacity." "How many ponies live in, Ponyville? What's the population?" "Uh... now let me think," Ditzy said. "There's three hundred and six." "That's everyone?" "Uh-huh. That's all the pegasus ponies, the earth ponies, and the unicorn ponies in the same census." "Whoa, wait a minute. You said, 'unicorn.'" "Yes." "Well, I suppose that makes sense, since there are pegasus ponies there on your world." "I'm a pegasus pony, too," Ditzy offered. "Really, now? And what about the other one, uh... Twilight." "She's a unicorn pony. She has magic, the rest of us don't really." "I don't believe that," Lee told her. "As far as I'm concerned, pegasus ponies are magical." "Why would you say that?" "Because there aren't any on my world." "Why not?" "They're a myth. Either that or they just went extinct too long ago for anybody to remember them." "That's awful," Ditzy said. Then suddenly, "Oh, she's coming back, I'd better get off of here now." "It was very nice talking with you Ditzy Doo," Lee said. "I enjoyed it very much." "Thank you! You're very nice for a h'yoomen. I don't think you'd eat me too much." "Not too much," he agreed. "But maybe just a little." Squealing out a giggle, Ditzy had the mouthpiece taken from her, and Rainbow Dash came back on. "Okay, what have you done to Ditzy, you bastard?" "Not much. I just used my awesome mental powers to turn her into my eternal slave. She will now do my bidding there... beware! BEWARE!" "You are so full of shit!" "Speaking of which," Lee said, musing. "How long does it take a pony to go to the bathroom anyway? You were gone for ever." "What are you keeping a journal?" "That's actually not a bad idea at all," Lee said, snapping his finger. "I should totally write this crap down. Preserve this historic stuff for future generations." "You are not going to chronicle how long it takes me to piss. That's outrageous, gross, and disgusting." "Wha...? No! I'm talking about our basic interaction, not your pee-pee." "Can we get back to our conversation? I thought up some questions for you." "Oh, good. By the way, does your friend, Twilight have some for me?" "Probably an unending amount, but for right now, she's back at her house doing what she always does when strange situations arise here in Ponyville." "Yeah, what's that?" "She's reading about it." Laughing to herself, while shaking her head, Dash said: "if we're really lucky, her reading could last hours, or days." "Well then, I'm all yours. Fire away!" There was something odd about the way she heard him say that. Was he to really mean that he was all her's in the sense that she could do with him as she wanted. And for that matter, what would she do with him, if she had him? What would she do if she could get her hooves on him? There was a rush of heat around her neck, and the world's sounds seemed lost to her intense thoughts. Standing at the televox, thinking of her very own h'yoomen. "Right," she finally stammered out. "The first question I have is this. What do you do for a job? You know I work at the factory, so what is it that you do?" "I'm a writer," he said flatly. "I write crime novels for a living." There could have been a million things that he could have told her, and a million variations on those million things, and she doubted that she would have been any more surprised by that answer. "You're a writer?" she pressed. "Really?" "Really," he said, chuckling to himself. “I'm a writer. Why, do you like to read?” “I'm not the biggest book reader in the world, but I do have a few favorites.” “Oh yeah? Like what?” “Like the Daring Do book series!” Rainbow Dash gushed. “Oh, my gosh! Those are like the greatest books ever written, I've followed A. K. Yearling for the past half dozen books!” “A. K. Yearling?” “She's only the greatest ever!” “You do realize that by saying that, you're throwing me under the rails.” “Well, that's not to say that you're not a good writer too, but c'mon... how many of your books have I actually read?” “Fair enough,” Lee said. “Besides, I'm not too sure that crime fiction would be a good fit for me, anyway.” “Why not?” “I'm too rough and tumble. This girl likes her epic adventures with snake pits, and temple traps, and dungeons, and villains.” “Hahaha... sounds like you'd be right at home with, Indiana Jones then.” “Who is that?” “Some treasure-hunter-adventurer that finds himself in dungeons, and temples, and traps and whatnot.” “Don't get me wrong, I like to read about a good male lead, but I relate more to female heroines.” “Nothing wrong with that,” Lee said. “There are plenty of strong female adventure characters in my world, though at the moment, only Laura Croft comes to mind.” “Who is she?” “She's a treasure hunter, whose image was nearly destroyed by a certain whack-job actress a few years back.” There was a momentary silence, and Lee cleared his throat. “So are you going to ask me more?” “Oh, right. Uh... what are h'yoomens like?” “Hmm... sudden change of topic. Uh, well. Humans are the top of the food chain here on my world. We're the primary sentient beings, so everything else is usually bent and twisted to our will. If we don't have enough to do with ourselves, we'll even get in each other's business and start trying to dominate ourselves.” “So, you're like a bunch of warriors?” “Oh hell no. There are too many pacifists these days, and everyone just wants to sit at home on their ass and smoke pot while spouting peace, love, and brotherhood.” “So then you're peaceful.” “I wouldn't say that either.” “So which is it?” “People, or humans for the most part have evolved intellectually over the past few centuries, but that's not to say that our leaders aren't still power hungry fuckheads that will jealously guard their own against any and all forms of strange.” “Meaning, what?” “That while you may be able to have a conversation with me, and not be suspicious about my possible treachery—humans on the other hand, see treachery and deception everywhere.” “That's kind of sad. Why do you think that is?” “The world is just too small for us all. We're a sociable race that wants to be together, but when we get too close to one another we hate the fact that everyone else thinks differently than the way we do.” “New question.” “Shoot.” “What kind of place do you live in?” Rainbow said. “Meaning, what sort of place do h'yoomens live?” “We live in houses. We like to stay dry. Warm in the winters and cold in the summers. I currently live in the country, a few miles from the city.” “Is it a big city?” “I wouldn't call Huntsville a big city. But, it's not far from Houston, which is one of the biggest cities in the whole country.” “How many h'yoomens are in that city?” “Huntsville has a population of over thirty thousand. Houston has a population of over two million.” There was a long silence, and Lee had to wonder if perhaps he'd lost the signal. “Rainbow Dash? Are you still there?” “Yeah, I'm here. That's a lot of h'yoomens. And to think that you're a myth here.” Over the next several hours, the two of them talked about politics, religion, and the differences in their social norms, and abnorms. The whole time, Rainbow Dash fell into a lull of familiarity; unconcerned with the hands of time, of fate, or the future. Eventually, her dream-like state was jarred when Lee announced that it was time for him to call it a day. "You mean... we have to stop talking?" she asked, all but panic stricken. "Well, we certainly can't talk all night," Lee said. "You mentioned that you have work in the morning, and my agent is going to skin my ass if I don't get him his precious review." "But... what if we hang up, and then we can't... What if it isn't the pools! What if we never speak to each other again!?" "I don't think we have to worry about that," Lee said. Doing his best to reassure her. "I hung up on you earlier, remember? And I was able to call back. I have no reason to think that I won't be able to call you back tomorrow." "When tomorrow?" "Just as soon as you get off work," he said. It had already been established, that they operated on a similar time structure, and that they were only different by an hour or two at best. "Okay. As soon as I get off work. Not one second later!" "You have my word," Lee said. "Now, go get something to eat, and go to sleep." "What do I do to end a conversation?" "You say, 'goodbye.'" "I don't want to." "How about, goodnight, then?" "Okay, fine. Goodnight, Lee Morgan." "Goodnight, my little pony."
The Fourth ChapterView OnlineBunderblissThe Fourth Chapter(4) Within seconds of ending his call with Rainbow Dash, Lee's cell phone exploded with notifications and alerts. All at once, ten new notifications appeared, followed closely by text messages, and a few emails. Frowning at the list, Lee noticed that all of them had something in common: they were all from Matthew Coulson. The most recent text message was rather belligerent, but he supposed that it was rather called for, considering he neglected to answer any of his summons. Checking his watch, he groaned inwardly. "There's still time to do this." Sure it was already after nine at night, and sure, he was several hours late, but that didn't mean he couldn't still pull something out of his ass at the last minute. Tossing his cell phone on the edge of his desk, he landed in his chair with a huff, and brought up his writing software. Selecting a new document, he decided it was best to start with the obvious. To the esteemed, Matthew Coulson. Here's the review. Pinching the bridge of his nose, he ran through a few well placed words in his head, and settled on the simplest solution he could think of. Less was always more, and what better way to satisfy his agent, and get out of any bald-faced lies than to just write the thing. Winter's work is fresh, new, and elicits raw emotion. Bringing up his email, Lee saved the document and attached it. No reason Matt would have to have him killed now. Within seconds of typing out the email and sending it on its way, his cell phone rang, and he picked it up, knowing what waited. "Why hello there," Lee said, doing his best to sound as though his day were uneventful. "For the love of Jesus and the dancing quartet! Where in the hell have you been?" "Before you start, let me first be given the opportunity to defend myself." "Okay, you have exactly sixty seconds to plead your case before I go Charles Bronson on your ass." "Wait... Death Wish 2 or that shitty Death Wish 4?" "You have thirty seconds." "Alright, geez! I've been having serious issues with my cell phone today. Apparently, it wouldn't register any calls." There was a short pause, and Matt came back with, "Seriously? That's the best you can do?" "I am being serious. It started right after I got off the phone with you this morning." "That is very convenient," Matt said; his voice seething with doubt. "I thought you were dead." "Don't be so melodramatic," Lee said, chuckling. "No, I'm serious. I know you've been in a funk lately, buying all this imported shit, and avoiding people. Hell, your move back to Texas was a cry for help if ever I saw one." "I'm not depressed," Lee assured him. "I can see the headlines now, 'Semi-famous writer found drowned in his bathtub this morning, five miles from Bumfuck, Texas.'" "I am far from semi-famous," Lee argued. "I'm at least somewhat famous." "If you don't want to tell me what you were doing, that's fine," Matt said. "But don't put me in a bind here, okay? I've got a job to do, and whether you want to acknowledge it or not, it includes watching out for you." "I'm moved." "I'm serious." "I'm fine. It was a phone thing, like I said. Maybe there were summer solar flares or something affecting the signal or reception, or whatever it is that goes on in the atmosphere." "So," Matt said, changing the subject. "This is the review you want to submit?" "Yup." "It's a bit light." "I can change the font, if you want." "I meant the word count, stupid. It's barely a paragraph." "It's the most I could feel comfortable saying, without actually lying." "Your concrete morality is a beacon of hope for all humanity." "I know, don't make me all teary-eyed." "I managed to get the print held off one more day, so if this is really what you want to put down, I can get it in there." "It is," Lee said. "I'm not saying the kid doesn't have some kind of talent, but he needs to work a little harder on it. And, you're right, saying he sucks isn't exactly my place." "Okay, well, I'll remember you said that the next time a critic tears one of your books to shreds." "There is a difference, you know," Lee said. "Critics aren't writers, if they were, they'd be writing." As an after thought, Lee said, "Listen, if you try and call tomorrow, and I'm not answering, then it means that I'm having trouble with the reception again. Just call me on the land line." "You have a land line?" "Yeah, I'll forward you the number." "You know you can call me, if you're in trouble? I'm not just an agent; I'm a third dan black belt in karate." "Who are you, Jason Statham?" "I see myself more as the Pierce Brosnan of James Bonds." "That's funny, 'cause you strike me more as the James Bond no one talks about." "I kick way more ass than, George Lazenby." "Didn't I just say, we don't talk about him?" "Fine, I'm outta here. Seriously though, call if you need something. I hate that my best writer is all the way down south in the village hidden in the guns." "Close. This is Huntsvegas... the village hidden in the prisons. And I will... call if I need something. I promise." The mechanical alarm clock beside her bed began clacking, and Rainbow Dash roused up enough to bring her hoof down on top of it as hard as she could, without hurting herself. It was morning already. She wasn't ready for morning; didn't want anything to do with morning. The night before was long, tedious, and filled with several hours of her laying on her back, staring up at the ceiling, and counting the stupid puffs in the texture. Then to make things more annoying, she was up in her kitchen every hour on the hour, digging for food or something to drink. It was four in the morning when she finally nodded off. Thank the gods that she didn't have that stupid dream on top of it all. "Ugh... I hate you world," she mumbled, lifting herself out of her bed and dropping to the floor on all four hooves. With a hefty yawn, she drug herself to the bathroom, and switched on the light. The crank was dead, she'd have to do her morning routine in the dark. Standing in front of the bathroom mirror, she regarded herself, while she brushed her teeth. I'm not pretty! she thought. I don't have time for that! Pretty was something other ponies were. It was for the mushyheads and the heartthumpers. It was just so, not her. Rinsing the toothpaste from her mouth, she spit and regarded herself once more. "Who in the world would, right?" Slapping both sides of her cheeks with the sides of her hooves, she blinked a few times; mentally scolding herself. She didn't have time to start feeling sorry for herself. It was a new work day, and there were no doubt knuckleheads to destroy. Besides, once her shift was over she could go grab some take-out, and have dinner while she talked with Lee. Provided he hadn't been lost forever. Slapping herself once more, she said, "Cut that shit out, Rainbow Dash! Be more positive." Once she was finished with everything, she gave her house a quick once over, making sure that it wasn't too messy. She'd have to do something about the clutter later. Grabbing her flight bag and giving the inside a final look, she closed the door and took off in the direction of Sugarcube Corner. She was barely within sight of the bakery when she saw Twilight waving to her in the distance from one of the outdoor tables. Landing next to her, Rainbow Dash regarded the long line, then looked back at her friend. "Hey, Twilight. What's up?" "Do you have a minute, Rainbow Dash? I've got something here, that I think you'll want to see." "Uh... well, I'm really in desperate need of my morning coffee," she said, looking between them. "It's not a problem," Twilight said, pointing a hoof. Following the direction that Twilight was pointing, Rainbow noticed Maude coming from the front of the line with a serving tray of coffee and several glazed donuts. "I knew you'd be in a hurry, so I took the initiative." "That's awesome, Twilight," Dash said, scooting out a chair for Maude as she arrived. "So what was it you wanted to show me?" "This," Twilight said, as Maude placed a cup of coffee in front of each of them, and opened the bag of fresh warm glazed donuts. Reaching beside her, Twilight brought up a book, and opened it at the bookmark for Rainbow Dash to see. The page was full color, and depicted a long figure. "What's this?" "It's a h'yoomen," she said, taking a bite of her donut. Rainbow was right in the middle of opening her mouth for a bite, when she let the baked good fall back to her napkin. "What!?" Grabbing the book from in front of Twilight, Rainbow Dash poured over the page taking the depicted scene. The color page was a reproduction of a painting, apparently lost to antiquity. It showed a tall figure clad in metal armor, holding a sword drawn back in combat. Next to the figure, was a representation of a unicorn pony dressed in a starry gown. "This is a very old story," Twilight said, "from long ago in Equestria lore. Apparently, Star Swirl the bearded encountered a h'yoomen during his travels. The h'yoomen was a lost wayfarer from a place Star Swirl writes as being called, Britannia. The h'yoomen was a knight; sent on a quest by his king to locate and retrieve a holy chalice." Pointing her hoof at the picture, Twilight rested the tip on the illuminated floating goblet depicted in the artwork, just out of reach of the knight. "'A grand prowess and strength emanated from the stranger, like light pouring forth from a morning daybreak. Likewise were his manners unaccustomed to me; speaking as though he knew not the languages of the realms, but of a stammered iteration of our common tongue. "'This same, Sir Perceval, Knight of the Order of the Round Table, did sojourn as my companion two and one half seasons, and proved a most honorable just, and righteous acquaintance.'" Never in her life could she have possibly imagined what a h'yoomen looked like. The image of the figure in the painting was tall, striking, and regal. There was something almost graceful about the features. "What happened to this, Sir Perceval?" Dash asked. "He died. Star Swirl doesn't mention how, only that he took the body and buried it on a mountain far into the north." Noticing Rainbow Dash's reaction to the story, and the painting, Twilight said: "So, what do you think? Pretty neat, huh?" "I'll say," Rainbow Dash said, absently allowing the tip of her hoof to trace over the image. "I didn't know h'yoomens were so cool." "This was the most information I could find on them, aside from the usual stuff," Twilight offered, slowly drinking her coffee. "If you'd like, I could let you borrow this book, so long as you promise to return it to me. It's on loan from the library in Canterlot, by special permission from Princess Celestia." "Princess Celestia?" Rainbow said, looking up and giving Twilight a quizzical expression. "Aside from Star Swirl, the only other recorded pony to have actually met Sir Perceval is Princess Celestia." In a flash, Rainbow Dash ate her donut in three bites, then slurped her coffee down. "Thank you very much, Twilight," she said, closing the book and tossing it in her bag. "I'll bring this back in a day or two." "Rainbow Dash!" Twilight said, too little, too late. Rainbow Dash was already airborne and flying in the general direction of the factory. "There was more I wanted to say." "Looks like she's gone," Maude said. "She left without paying for her share of the breakfast." "What?" "I'm used to it. Boulder does that to me all the time." "I was going to tell her that, Princess Celestia seemed very agitated at the mention of a h'yoomen, and of Sir Perceval in particular." "She doesn't like h'yoomens?" "It's possible. I know she didn't like that one." "Why?" "They nearly killed each other in a fight the first and only time that they met." The first thing that Lee noticed when he woke up, was that his shoulders were painfully stiff; as was his back and neck. The next thing he noticed was that he had slept in his desk chair all night, and was folded up in a strange and obviously uncomfortable position. The clock on his computer read, 10:44am. At least the day wasn't half gone, there were still things he could get accomplished. Most important of which was finding out more about the gazing pool in his back yard. Stretching his back, he felt a sharp pain of discomfort spring from the base of his shoulder blades, and race all the way to the top of his scalp. Best not to over do it, or he's pull something, and be on his couch moaning for two days. Jiggling the mouse on his desk, his computer flared to life, and he noticed the open document on his screen. The word count in the bottom corner was at five thousand and twenty-two. Scrolling back through the pages of the document, Lee disregarded the fact that he needed to pee, and ignored his overwhelming craving for caffeine. "At the expense of sounding like a dork, you sure know how to inspire me, Rainbow Dash." Somehow, despite how tired he was, Lee had stayed up half the night writing; and for once, writing with a purpose. He was smiling as he read over the last several pages. It was good stuff, damn good stuff. Guess moving back to Texas was the right choice, he thought. Now he had no excuses. Stretching his arms out over his head, he reached beside him and checked the condition of his cell phone. It was deader than a slab of bacon. Letting out a sigh, he slowly rose from his desk, and went in search of a charging cable. Then off to take care of his morning. Once the shower was over, the clothes were donned, and a steamy cup of coffee was in his hand; Lee stood at the window of his kitchen looking out at the half assembled pile of stones in his back yard. If this were one of his crime novels, then the mystery would be the pool. Where did it come from? Who made it? What purpose did it serve? Time to do some investigation. The first thing in a long list of things to do was, get a hold of the people that sold him the gazing pool. From there it was a matter of basic detective work. Setting his blue cup down, with the words "Keep Calm and Write On." Lee brought out the invoice from the day before, and looked over the number once more. Since it seemed obvious that whatever connection was being made between him and Equestria was because of the pool, and because it affected his cell phone, it was best to use his trusty back-up land line. The land line was actually a new Motorola, complete with caller ID, call log, and message of the day. Checking to make sure there was a dial tone, Lee pressed in the number for the company on the invoice, and waited. Everything seemed to be going as planned. No irritating white noise suddenly bleeding into the earpiece, and no unexpected ponies answering. Within seconds of ringing, a deep male voice answered, and requested to know how he could be directed. "Yes, thank God! I need to speak with someone in your export sales department." "Can I inquire as to the nature of the call?" "I've got some questions regarding my recent purchase." "Is there a problem with the item or items that you've purchased?" "Uh... well. No, nothing comes to mind. I've just got some friends that might be interested in making a purchase, and asked if I'd be so kind as to get some information for them." It wasn't that big of a lie, but still, Lee hated having to make it. There was just no way in hell he'd be able to come right out and say that something he bought from them turned out to be a magical portal to another realm. "Do you know the name of the sales rep that you spoke with?" "Yes I do. I need to speak with a Mister Perello, please." There was a short pause, and then, "I'm sorry. We don't have a person by that name here. Perhaps you have the wrong name?" "Uh, no. I was given a card a few months ago at an art exhibit there in New York, and the name on the card was, Josef Perello. I've got the card here. Even has your company's logo at the top." "Again, I'm sorry, Sir. There is no one by that name in our directory. Could you give me your name?" "Not unless I get some better answers than this," Lee said, standing and pacing back and forth. "This is the Rare Earth Imports, right?" "Of course it is, Sir." "I made this purchase three weeks ago, surely you'd have a record of someone employed there." There was a short silence, and the unmistakable sound of "on hold" began, complete with background elevator-esque music. Three seconds into his wait, the sound of a click, and then, "Who is this? What's your name?" The voice was gruff, and smacked of stern authority. The sort of authority one would have if they were, for example, law enforcement, or other. "Who is this?" Lee asked, doing his best to match tone with the as yet unidentified voice. "Tell me about this purchase?" "I'm more interested as to how you can lose an employee," Lee retorted. There was another small silence, and the voice changed tones slightly, putting on a more professional attitude. "If you could give us the information from the invoice, along with the description of the items, we can get you any information you need." "Then why didn't anyone ask for that information from the start? Why now, after I've already gone through two people?" "I apologize for that. We've had some internal issues here with our shipping department, and our office staff have been under the hammer; I'm sure you understand." There was something not right. Call it a huge hunch, or detective skills honed from research for six dozen crime novels: Lee wasn't buying it. "Are you calling locally?" the voice asked. What the fuck are you doing? They still haven't given you a name. You've been transferred, and the only contact you've had with the company is gone... missing, vanished, disappeared, erased from existence! "Did you happen to make your purchase by certified check or by credit card?" These questions are all wrong, dummy! He's stalling! Buying time, killing valuable seconds! Hang up the phone! NOW! Before he could argue with himself, Lee brought his thumb down on the "end" button, and disconnected. His heart was racing, and his palms were beginning to perspire. "What the hell was that all about?" he said out loud, looking at the invoice. "What the hell have I got out there?" Getting up and walking to the kitchen, Lee looked out the back window at the gazing pool. Still holding the business card in his hand, he ran through a few ideas. The next step in the detective work was to figure out where the pool came from. He knew it supposedly came from Crete, and that it was supposedly a find that had been auctioned off a few years back, and ended up at the Rare Earth place. Bringing the phone up, he punched in the number to his friend, Lloyd. If there was something to be found, information that needed to be gathered, and research to undergo, Lloyd was the man for the job. Rainbow Dash was sitting in her office with her back hooves propped up on the corner of her desk. In her hooves she held the book that Twilight had loaned her, as she reread the story of Sir Perceval account by Star Swirl. "What has you so lost to the world?" Looking up, Rainbow saw one of her co-workers standing at her doorway, she was holding her lunch box, and was giving Rainbow a concerned look. "Oh, hey, Sunshine. Is something wrong?" "Yeah, the shift ended like ten minutes ago." Sitting upright in her chair, Rainbow Dash jerked her head toward the clock, and let out a long low growl, followed by a string of profanity. "Something wrong, Rainbow?" Sunshine Glimmer was giving her a concerned look. "I was supposed to be gone, and on my way to the post office," she all but screamed, fumbling over herself as she gathered her things. "Do me a favor, and look in on the knuckleheads on your way out, please. I don't have time to waste on them today." "Are you expecting a package?" Stopping dead in her tracks, Rainbow Dash met Sunshine's gaze, and slowly took the book from her desk and placed it in her bag. "Not exactly." "Well then what?" "Can't say," she said, suddenly blazing past Sunshine. "What in the world has her so excited?" Author's Note Hope everyone is enjoying the story so far. Here's a little exit music for the chapter.
The Fifth ChapterView OnlineBunderblissThe Fifth Chapter(5) There wasn't a lot of information available about archeological discoveries in general, let alone any recent discoveries in Crete. For every six searches that Lee did on his computer, he got back a hundred pointless, unrelated results. Something he'd come to expect from the internet. Nothing about any artifacts made from obsidian, or gazing pools in general. It was as though the damn thing really was from outer space. The fact that something could be fashioned from volcanic glass was extraordinary in and of itself. Eventually, Lloyd called him back. There was a strained tension to his voice. That either meant he wasn’t able to find anything useful, or he had found something, and Lee wasn’t going to like it. “Tell me you found something?” Lee asked, doing his best to keep the rush from his tone. “I found something, but you’re not going to like it.” Taking a deep breath and preparing himself, Lee said: “Bring it.” “Okay, let’s start with the obvious things first. You said that the gazing pool, or rather, the reflecting pond was made entirely of obsidian, right?” “Yes.” “There-in lies the first hurdle. So far as I could determine, there are no such things on the planet. It’s too impractical, I don’t have to say why. But, because you obviously have one, it means that someone somewhere made one.” There was a short pause, and Lee could hear the unmistakable sound of pages being rustled. “You mentioned that you acquired the thing from a company called, Rare Earth Imports, correct?” “Yes, I went through an agent from their New York office.” “Wrong. This, uh… Josef Perello fella you met in New York, never worked for them. He actually worked for a shipping firm out of Albany.” “Albany?” Lee said, allowing his confusion to show through in his voice. “What the hell was he doing trying to sell Rare Earth Import’s shit?” “That’s the really interesting thing,” Lloyd said. “Rare Earth Imports was never officially in possession of an imported reflecting pool. It was never listed in their sales list, manifests, or customs papers.” “Well then, where in the hell did it come from?” “You said it came from Crete?” “That’s what Perello told me,” Lee said, “but, I checked for archeological discoveries, finds, and digs all over Crete going back five or more years. I got a whole lot of nothing.” “That's because I think it may have secretly come from Knossos.” “You think? Why is that?” “Eight months ago, an archeological survey team was doing their thing in the Palace of Minos, and then all at once they were pulled out, and their equipment and findings were suppressed.” “You don’t say?” “I do say,” Lloyd told him. “At that same time, all non-government travel to Knossos was put on hold, and the government made lots of back and forths there until about three or four months ago, when they reopened the tourism.” “Suppressed... which would explain why I found bupkis. This is beginning to make my head hurt,” Lee said. “So, what makes you think that this came from Knossos?” “Here’s the fun part. An insurance policy was filed by the Greek government for two hundred million dollars, for an undisclosed item to be shipped from Crete to New York. Guess who?” “The shipping company from Albany?” “Bingo!” Lloyd said. “I am not seeing the pieces here,” Lee admitted, rubbing at his face. “Where does Josef Perello come in at? Hell, for that matter, where do I come in at?” “I'm not sure exactly,” Lloyd told him. “But, I am willing to bet that whatever it is that you have there, is something that wasn't supposed to be in the hands of a private party. If I'm right, somebody didn't just screw up; they fucked the pooch hard on it.” “So you have no idea what the gazing pool was used for?” Lee asked. “Historically, any number of things. It may have been a ceremonial cleansing basin, or a water retainer for predicting the future. The damn thing may have been used by Minos to make Halloween witch's brew.” Letting a small silence pass, Lee sat down on the side of his couch, and regarded the windows in his kitchen. Then turning to look at the clock, he noted that it was time to make another phone call. “Dude, you have done a hell of a job, like always. How do you find this stuff?” “I'm an artist,” Lloyd said, suddenly sounding aloof. “An artist?” “I paint in information, and, I charge exorbitantly for every scrap of it too.” “Yeah, I was wondering why my wallet was suddenly growing apprehensive, and wanting to flee the country.” Lee, took another look at the clock, and told him, “Hey, listen man, I hate to do this, but I've got other people to call.” “Ah, the life of a celebrity,” Lloyd said, pretending to be impressed. “Always with the better things to do, huh?” “When it comes to talking to you, there are always better things to do,” Lee said chuckling. “I’m gonna keep looking into Josef Perello, figure out what he was doing. Until then, keep your head down, and your mouth shut about that thing in your yard. If it has a two hundred million dollar policy on it, then I don't have to imagine hard that someone will want it back.” The sandwich shop took longer than necessary, but eventually, Rainbow Dash received her order; a cheese and tomato sandwich with dill, and a side of potato crisps. Flying from Cloudsdale as fast as she could, she arrived at the post office in Ponyville with no time to spare. “Has any-pony called?” she asked frantically as she raced through the doors. “No-pony has called,” said Ditzy Doo, as she moved the counter top up and over to pass through and assist Rainbow Dash. “There hasn't been a call on that thing all day.” “Okay, good.” she said, dragging a chair up and situating it next to the televox. “Unless of course, there is something wrong with the connection, and Lee can't get through.” “That doesn't sound very positive,” Ditzy said, mildly scolding her. “You’re right, there has to be a perfectly logical explanation for why Lee hasn’t called back since it’s only…” Looking at the clock on the wall, she let out a built up sigh of frustration. She was a few minutes early, there was plenty of time for Lee to call. All she had to do was keep calm and relax. Pulling up a large empty cardboard shipping box, Rainbow Dash sat in the chair and began unwrapping her sandwich on the box just as a huge grumble coursed through her stomach. Guess I should have eaten lunch today, she thought. Bringing the sandwich up to her mouth and taking a generous bite, Rainbow allowed her mind to wander momentarily, and considered all the reasons why she cared so damn much about some-pony calling or not calling. What difference did it make? She didn’t really know him. It wasn’t like she actually owed this h’yoomen anything; she certainly didn’t owe him her time. What's the deal here, Rainbow? The bite of sandwich was almost lost to her palate while she puzzled and mulled over the situation. From the corner of her eye, she could see Ditzy working on arranging some sorting bins. It didn’t escape her notice that Ditzy persistently angled her head in the general direction Rainbow Dash sat eating. Halfway through her third bite of the sandwich, the televox began ringing, followed by the sudden urgency to immediately choke down her bite of food. A mild flail of her arm, a huge swallow, and a quick pound a time or two on her chest, and Rainbow was as composed as she would ever be. Gingerly lifting the bell shaped ear piece from the cradle, she hesitated only a second before stammering out the word, “Yeah?” “Do you seriously not know how to answer a phone?” “Lee?” she asked, making sure it was in fact the sound of his voice, and not a dream, hallucination, or cruel prank. “Only since the last time I checked.” “I was a little worried that you wouldn't be able to call,” she said, letting out a small breath. “I bet you spent all day thinking about my sexy voice, right?” Turning her head just enough to make sure that Ditzy couldn't see her blush, she said, “You wish, buster. I have better things to do with my time than daydream over a h'yoomen.” “So,” Lee said, acting miffed, “you didn't think about me, not once, all day?” “Well,” Dash stammered. “I might have thought about you, but only because there was a very good reason.” "Ooh, I can't wait." "Twilight gave me a book this morning from the royal library, it has a story in it of a h'yoomen named Sir Perceval. You ever hear of him?" "As a matter of fact, I have," Lee said. "He was one of the legendary knights of the round table, and if I'm remembering my Arthurian lore correctly; he and two other knights were charged with the task of recovering the holy grail. How is it that you could possibly have a record of Sir Perceval?" "He came to our world, and was a companion of Star Swirl the Bearded, until he died. Apparently he once met with Princess Celestia... she's like our official monarch." "That's weird," Lee said, "I would have figured Sir Galahad to have traveled to another world." "Who's that?" Rainbow asked, doing her best to not sound as though she had a huge bite of food in her mouth. "He's one of the three knights sent on the quest. He was also the only one to depart by supernatural means, but, then that was when he allegedly died. Say, your story wouldn't happen to mention how he got to Equestria would it?" "No, sorry," Dash said. "It just mentions how he was found wandering around in the wilds, and that he was from a place called, Britannia." "Well, that's still fascinating. I never would have guessed that Arthurian legend would be real." "Sir Perceval isn't real?" "Perceval, Galahad, Bors, Arthur... all those guys are so legendary, it's hard to know what about them is actually real. Their stories are from a time in our history when humanity liked to make shit up, or at least make it more than it was; to say nothing of our record keeping." For a moment, Rainbow dash wasn't sure what to add to the conversation, and resolved to finish the last few bites of her sandwich, before taking a loud crunch from a potato crisp. "Rainbow Dash, are you eating something?" There were several more quick crunches heard through the earpiece, and Lee could hear the sound of a small gulp. "I'm eating my dinner." "What's for dinner?" "I had a sandwich and some potato crisps." "Potato crisps?" "Oh, sorry," Dash said, "I guess you don't know what that is." "I know what they are," he said. "It's just that in America—where I live—we call them potato chips. They're called 'crisps' elsewhere in the world." "That's kind of funny." "How so?" "All those different ways of saying the same thing. Doesn't it get bothersome?" "You have no idea," Lee said. "If I were to go up north and tell someone that I washed my clothes at a washateria, they'd think I was crazy. Because up there, places they use to wash their clothes are called, laundromats." Before he could say anything else, Rainbow Dash suddenly burst out in laughter, nearly dropping the earpiece. Unsure as to what was so funny, Lee waited until there was a break in the guffawing to ask what she found so hysterical. Rainbow Dash offered a loud snort, then brought her fit under control, explaining that, "It's just that those are the funniest sounding words I've ever heard." "Which ones?" "Both of them," she said. "You make is sound like you do a lot of clothes cleaning." "Well, we don't like going around naked, if we don't have to." "Sounds like too much of a hassle for me—wearing clothes all the time, I mean." "You wear clothes, just not all the time?" Lee repeated, making sure he heard correctly. "So then, most of the time, you just go around in the nude?" "Ponies have fur, but yeah, I guess so." "It doesn't bother you to go around in public with everything... hanging out?" "I'm not sure I follow," Dash said, popping the last few crisps in her mouth, and chewing quickly to limit the amount of crunching she did into the receiver. "What I mean is; you aren't embarrassed about others seeing your private places, and what-not?" "Private places..." Dash said, still not quite sure she understood, but beginning to get the general idea. "Jesus, I guess I have to paint a picture. What I mean is your girl and boy parts. That doesn't bother you?" For some reason the last swallow of her crisps went down awkward, and Rainbow did her best not to choke. "Oh," she said, "that. It's not like we go around deliberately showing off our sex; it's there, and that's it. It's rude to stare, if that's what you're getting at." "Sounds rather awkward," Lee admitted. "For humans, we are taught from a young age to keep ourselves properly covered. For us, going around showing off our sex is considered a cultural no-no." "You're weird," Dash said, letting out a chuckle. "You wear clothes just to keep other h'yoomens from seeing your junk?" "Not just that," Lee said in defense. "It also keeps us warm in the cold season, and then of course there is fashion to consider." "We have fashion," Dash said. "But that's about the extent of our need for clothes, outside of say, practical reasons." "If you say so," Lee said. There was a lot about Equestria culture that he would need to take for face value, or just trust was the best for their unique society. "Oh, I almost forgot," Dash said, readjusting her sitting posture in the chair. "I finally went a full night without having a dream about the gazing pool." "That's great," Lee said. "What do you think it means?" "Hell if I know. But at least, I'm not two horse-hairs away from a straight jacket at Rustle Shores." "I myself have been looking into the origins of these things. Seems to me that whatever they are, they may be more than just a device for inter-dimensional long-distance calling." "You could touch it, if you wanted to." "Please tell me you're talking about the pool." "Duh... what else would you be wanting to touch? Wait, don't answer that." Chuckling, Lee said, "To be honest, I was kind of wondering what would happen if I stuck something in there." "We're still talking about the pool, right?" Rainbow Dash said, holding her hoof up over her eyes, then in unison with Lee the two of them began laughing. "Why, Miss Dash, I think you're turning into a grade-A pervert." "Kiss my ass, jerk-wad!" she mock-yelled into the receiver. "No wait, don't. You'd probably like it too much." You know you want to see what happens. Why don't you just man-up and do something? This is nothing but another mystery to solve; and you won't get anywhere, sitting on your ass. Rubbing at the bridge of his nose, Lee resolved that he was partially right. If he wanted answers, then the best thing for it was a little experimentation. What could it hurt right? "I've got a crazy idea," Lee said abruptly. "I was just kidding around about touching it," Rainbow Dash said, suddenly concerned. "If you mess with it too much, you might make it so we can't talk." "I'm just going to try a small experiment," he said, "nothing dangerous." For several long seconds, Rainbow considered the pros and cons of tampering with the one and only method the two of them could communicate, and after some quick rationalization with herself, and despite her better judgement, she relented. "Okay, conduct your experiment. Just don't blow yourself up." "Is there anybody there with you in the post office?" "Ditzy is here somewhere. Why?" "We're going to need her help." "What are you going to do?" "Just call her over." Bringing the ear piece away from the side of her head, Rainbow Dash looked out into the interior of the post office, and noticed that Ditzy was leaning up against the counter with her eyes closed. There were postage stamps stuck to her chest, and a small package laying on the floor beside her. "Hey, Ditzy! Come here for a minute, we need your help." Groggily, she roused up from her spot against the counter, and lazily walked over. "Tell, Ditzy that I want her to man the phone there while you go to the pond. I'll tell her what to tell you, and she can go to you at the pool and relay what I'm saying." "I think I get it," Dash said, turning to relay the instructions to Ditzy. Once everyone had their assignments, Dash said, "I'll head to the pool now." "Great! I'm gonna do my thing, then have Ditzy meet you at the pool and see if anything happened." "Sounds complicated," Dash said. "All right, be back soon." Waiting to the count of thirty, Lee figured it was long enough for her to fly the few blocks to the town square. The time was now. "Okay Ditzy, I'm going to my pool here, when I say, I want you to go find Rainbow Dash, and see what's happened, then come back and tell me." "Okay," Ditzy said, doing her best to suppress a big yawn. Making his way out his back door and into the yard, Lee reached down and picked up a medium sized rock from the flower bed close to the house. Wiping the dirt off of it against the side of his jeans, he waited a few more seconds, and then dropped it into the shiny goo at the bottom of the gazing pool. The rock hit with no apparent splash, or ripple, and instantly disappeared. "Ditzy?" "Yeah?" "Go find Rainbow Dash, and see what happened." "Got it!" she said, then placed the ear piece on the box. Still standing over the pool, Lee watched and waited. So far, nothing had gone boom, and nothing seemed to be ripping in the sky. So at least, the heavens weren't about to rend, or the fabric of space time melt down. Two minutes later, Ditzy came back on the line. "I did it," she said, panting slightly. "She's excited because a rock popped out of it." "Excellent," Lee said, wishing both hands were free so that he could rub them together with wicked glee. "Now, go back and tell her to toss the rock back into the pool." "Roger!" she said, then bolted away once more. Rainbow Dash was standing beside the pool, rubbing her hooves together in sheer excitement. There was no doubt that the rock had come from Lee. She was watching close when it suddenly popped out of the goo and landed on the ground a cubit or so in front of her. She was tempted to pick it up, but she wasn't sure what would happen, and, she didn't want to get ahead of anything that Lee might have in mind. While still pacing back and forth, she heard the unmistakable sound of wings, and looked up to see Ditzy. Landing in a huff, Ditzy panted a few times and said through short breaths, "He says to throw it back." "Are you sure?" "Yeah." Looking at the stone intently, she took a deep breath. Here goes nothing. Picking it up, she hoisted it back over her head, and threw it as hard as she could into the goo. Lee was leaning over watching the surface of the liquid with his hands resting on his knees. Any second now, he would have proof that something could not only communicate with another dimension, but could also travel to another dimension. "Damn, this is better than Stargate," he said. While still watching, the surface of the goo moved slightly, and a rock came flying out of the center, arching just enough to send the projectile on a perfect path into his forehead. The sheer force of the impact brought about a sudden thick wafting darkness, and Lee felt his body fall forward. His last thought was, Holy shit! The passengers from the 7:20 began filing out of the passenger cars at the train station, just as an announcement for baggage claim came over the loud speaker. Walking deliberately and steadily down the ramp, Mystic Fire approached the baggage clerk and presented her claim ticket. "Welcome to Ponyville," the clerk said, smiling broadly. "Let's see here... G-82. Give me just a tick, and I'll have that right out to you." "Thank you," she said, adjusting the cloak and hood around her tighter before taking a few sideways glances at the other passengers. "No problem," he said, then looking closer, he added, "Quite a long way from Griffonopoli, ain't it?" Tightening the cloak, Mystic Fire said, "Yeah... it was a long trip." Watching as the baggage clerk trotted off, Mystic Fire reached inside the cloak and produced another paper. Looking down at the lines, her eyes fixed on one name. Maude Pie. After a few minutes, her bag was in front of her, and a solid gold bit had been passed to the clerk. "Have yourself a good evening, ma'am." "There is one thing, if you don't mind." "Why, certainly." "You wouldn't by any chance know how I can get to Sugacube Corner?" "Of course. Come to sample the local delicacies?" "Sorry, no. I'm here to find some-pony. They have something that belongs to me."
The Sixth ChapterView OnlineBunderblissThe Sixth Chapter(6) The stone had barely disappeared into the gooey surface of the reflecting pond when a massive bulge appeared just under the liquid. Instinctively, Ditzy took a cautious step back, while Rainbow Dash prepared herself for whatever inevitable disaster was about to happen. Squinting at her impending doom, she held her ground, clenching her jaw, and flexing her muscles. It was not going to be pretty. The bulge under the pond's layer of goo expanded until it made a gurgled popping sound, and out from the gazing pool, at the same trajectory the stone went hurdling in, came Lee Morgan flailing out with the same momentum with which he fell face forward into the gazing pond in his back yard. Too stunned to react, Rainbow Dash stood there as Lee collided with her in a massive sprawl on the ground. Instantly, Ditzy began to shriek and stomp all four hooves in the ground as she spun in a semi-circle. The impact of Lee's body landing on hers, sent the air nearly from her lungs, and Rainbow lay on the ground seeing stars while trying to catch her breath. Her only thought was that she was right. Lee would squish her flat. Still catching her breath, Rainbow squirmed and wiggled until she was out from under Lee, and slowly rose to her feet. Ditzy had managed to calm down, but there was something wrong with the scene. Lee wasn't moving, and instead, lay on the ground groaning. Rushing back to his side, she got down close to his face, and took his shoulders in her hooves to turn him over. Was it really him? "Lee? Is it you? Are you all right?" Tugging hard, Rainbow managed to roll him over. Moving her muzzle close to his face, she examined him as best as she could, noticing that there was a massive bump on his forehead, and a trickle of blood. Sweet gods... he's dying! "Lee!" she shouted, shaking him by the shoulders. "Lee everything is going to be fine!" There was a mumble from him, and for a moment, Rainbow ceased her panicked shaking, lowering her muzzle once again next to his face. There was a strange otherworldly smell about him; thick and strong. "Lee, say something." "Mmm... asshole critic... didn't like my book... hit me with a rock. Fuck you Gene Stacey!" A loud groan emanated from Lee just before his head lolled to one side, and his eyes rolled back. Panic-stricken, Rainbow Dash turned to Ditzy. "Give me a hoof with him! We have to get him to the hospital!" While Rainbow Dash and Ditzy were hoisting and heaving the unconscious Lee from the center of town toward the hospital, Mystic Fire began her search for the confectionery from the train depot. Doing her best not to be noticed by the other departing passengers leaving the station, she huddled under the cloak, bringing it together tighter. It was one thing to draw attention to one's self when it was appropriate, but she didn't need their looks of contempt; not when there was so much work to be done. With one claw gripping the handle of her bag, and the other holding the front of her cloak together, she approached the town square, just in time to see a small crowd gathered. Dropping the bag, a small gasp and the hushed words... "Everveil." Pushing her way through the gathered ponies, she rushed past the construction tape to the edge of the obsidian gazing pool, and gently placed her claws on the edge of the basin; allowing a talon to trace the sheen smoothness of the glass. It was more than a dream, it was a solid reality. No-pony could ever fathom how long she had been searching for it, or for that matter what it was truly capable of. Looking into the bottom, Mystic Fire frowned. There was a semi-viscous looking liquid near the bottom. Which meant that it was already activated somehow. Looking back up at the overall object, she frowned harder. The gods-damn thing wasn't even finished yet! So then, where did the veil lead? Bringing her left claw up, and turning it slightly, she transported her bag from where she dropped it. With a small blur of displaced space, the bag appeared next to her on the ground, and she immediately began to rummage through the contents. Stupid, foolish ponies. Retracting a long glass rod, Mystic Fire looked around to make sure that she wasn't being watched, then gently placing the rod into the liquid, she brought the thick end to her eye. There was what looked to be a domicile of some sort. Trees, and shrubbery. Nothing out of the ordinary. Furrowing her feathered brow, she considered now the reasons for Maude to have sent for the professor. Clearly some-pony was using their head. "You there!" Secreting the glass rod down and under her robes, Mystic Fire turned to see an angry looking guard approaching her. "Yes, you! For your own safety, you can't be past those lines." Jabbing a hoof behind him, the guard motioned toward the bright orange construction tape. "I'm terribly sorry," Mystic Fire told him reaching for her bag. "I just arrived in town, and I saw the fountain here, and I guess my excitement got the better of me." "I'm sorry, ma'am, but it's for your own safety. We've already had some-pony have an accident here not a half hour ago." "What happened?" "I didn't get the details. Now, come along." Clutching her bag, Mystic Fire followed the guard back out past the construction area to where the other ponies were still gathered. As she passed them, she could hear bits and pieces of their excited conversation. Conversation that she missed in her excitement at seeing the everveil. "Cannot believe it—" "Seriously? Some-pony fell from inside that thing?" "I heard it was taken to the Princesses for—" "Is Ponyville under some sort of attack?" Idiots! They've no idea what they were doing! Grinding her beak side to side, Mystic Fire turned to the guard and asked curtly, "Where can I find Sugarcube Corner?" Pointing a hoof, he said, "Back that way. You can't miss it." Twilight Sparkle was sitting on the observation platform of the library's second floor reading up on more h'yoomen lore, when she heard the unmistakable voice of Rainbow Dash call up to her in a fright. "Rainbow Dash?" she shouted down, unsure what was going on. "What's the matter?" "We've got problems!" Ditzy yelled back up to her. The evening light was nearly gone, and Twilight was having to squint, but the more she looked, the more she realized that there was something terribly wrong. That's also when she noticed the large, lumpy mass laying on the ground. Between grunts and groans, Rainbow Dash started to explain the situation, but there was only so much that she could offer given what was clearly in front of Twilight. In a flash, Twilight transported herself from the balcony to the yard, and blinked several times, attempting to wrap her mind around what she was seeing. "Uh, Rainbow Dash. Is that what I think it is?" "I know what you're going to say, and before you do, let me state for the record that this was entirely his fault. I had nothing to do with it." Looking from between the two ponies, Twilight cast her view down and regarded the crumpled h'yoomen. Her first initial inspection suggested that he was injured, her overly cautious mind on the other hand considered the likelihood of a far more drastic conclusion. "Sweet merciful Celestia... you've killed him!" Suddenly terrified, Ditzy dropped her hold on Lee's arm, and began to stomp and squeal in a fright. "Gross, gross, gross!" "Calm down, Ditzy Doo. He's not dead." Then turning to Twilight she said, "He's not dead, I don't think; but he's hurt. We need to get him to the hospital." "Rainbow Dash, I—" "Twilight, please!" By now, Spike had come from inside the library, and was standing in front of the open door. Noticing that he was there, Twilight turned to him and said, "Spike, I need you to stay here and send a letter to Princess Celestia; tell her that we're taking the h'yoomen to the hospital; that he's been injured. Do you have all that?" Flicking his claw into the air, he allowed himself the luxury of a calm response. "No problem, Twilight. I've got this all under control." Regarding Spike with an air of skepticism, Rainbow Dash quickly exhaled. There wasn't any time to waste on Spike right now, she had to tend to Lee. "C'mon, let's go if we're going." "Every-pony stand together," Twilight said, moving close, careful that she didn't step on Lee. Once the others were in position, she closed her eyes, and her horn started glowing. "Brace yourselves." In a flash the four of them were moved from the front of the tree library to the entrance of the hospital. Rainbow Dash was the first to rush inside, desperate to find a nurse, while Ditzy and Twilight were left to stand over Lee. Over the course of the next half hour, Lee was taken inside, examinations were made, and Twilight and Rainbow Dash did their best to explain all that they knew about h'yoomens to the doctors. By the time Lee was properly inspected, and a somewhat accurate diagnosis was made, Rainbow Dash was a nervous wreck. Sitting in the waiting room, holding a cup of coffee in her hooves, she kept her head down, and dangled her back legs off the chair. It was a long day. Her nerves were fried, and her wings had ached so long from the stress, that she was sure she wouldn't be able to fly home. Taking a careful sip from the coffee cup, she heard the sounds of hooves on tile, and regarded Twilight as she approached. "Well, good news," Twilight said, smiling softly at Rainbow as she stopped in front of her. "The doctor says that Lee will be okay; that he should regain consciousness soon. He'll have one nasty headache for a while, but that there was no real damage to his head, so far as he could determine." Rainbow Dash remained unmoving, and kept her head down while Twilight was speaking. There was a large surge of her chest, as she took in a deep breath. "Are you okay?" Twilight asked. Still saying nothing, Rainbow nodded. Remembering that they hadn't arrived alone, Twilight asked, "Where's Ditzy Doo?" Pointing her hoof, Rainbow Dash said, "She went back to the post office. She needed to lock up." "Rainbow Dash, are you sure that everything is alright?" "I... I don't know," she said, her voice betraying her emotions. "I feel so bad... I mean, I did this!" Twilight could only frown and twist her head to the side. "I don't understand. What did you do?" "I nearly killed Lee," she said. If it wouldn't have made her madder than words, Twilight would have giggled at her friend's uncharacteristically sullen behavior. Instead, she rested her hoof on Dash's shoulder and did her best to be understanding. What could she say at a time like this? Something ironic, perhaps? No that was all wrong. She needed to focus. Try and see this from Rainbow Dash's point of view. "Holy shit! One little rock to the head, and you're already planning my funeral?" Spinning her head around past Twilight, Rainbow Dash saw a tall figure looming in the doorway of the emergency room. Immediately sliding off the chair, she hit the floor at a near dead run. "Lee!" Instantaneous tears were shed; the coffee went flying in an unknown direction; orderlies were roused from an all-clear to high-alert status; and somewhere a wolf probably howled at the moon. The only thing that Lee could do was squat down for the inevitable hugging, and thank the Lord Jesus Christ that Rainbow Dash had ditched the scalding coffee before it ended up on his chest. Before Lee could say anything else, Rainbow Dash landed against him with the force of a small gas powered object, sending him backward onto his ass, and sprawling slightly. The rest was a blur in both sight and sound, as blue flashes reached and grabbed, hugged and squeezed, accompanied with high noted arpeggios of apologies and concerns spouted at the speed of a machine gun. Mental ascent was never one of Lee's strongest characteristics. He either believed in something, or he didn't. There wasn't much of a middle road for him. Mentally agreeing with something without believing in it was too similar to flat-out lying, which rarely produced anything beneficial in life. Nevertheless, he found it amazingly difficult to believe everything his eyes were telling him was real when he came-to in the hospital in Ponyville. The argument with the nurse-pony about needing to remain lying down, the looks of confusion from the other pony-persons in the hallway, and lastly, the very short ceilings. When Lee made his way around to the waiting room, and saw the blue pegasus sitting on the bench, he knew that he needed to make a choice. Agree that everything was real; not a dream, or a fantasy. And accept that later on his mind would be able to better acclimate. And what if this is a dream? Does it really matter? I'm a writer, dreaming is how I transport myself to the worlds I want to write about. Suppose you lose yourself to the fantasy. What then? Write another page. Once the mild maelstrom had settled to a tolerable clatter, the nurse and the attending doctor on duty came and explained that while Lee didn't necessarily need to stay at the hospital, he was restricted from any sort of travel for at least two days. Which of course meant, no portal hopping back to his home in Texas. It also meant that for the next two nights, he would need to have some place to stay. Taking up the cause, Twilight offered a spare bed at the library, promising and swearing that she would see to it that Lee got proper rest, and didn't over exert himself. To which, Rainbow Dash accused Twilight of only being interested in Lee for the science. Once it was settled, and Twilight had made a convincing argument on her own behalf, she trotted off to sign Lee out of the hospital into her care, leaving Lee and Rainbow Dash in the main waiting room past the entrance to the ER. As she sat there next to Lee, Rainbow's eyes kept drifting back toward the h'yoomen next to her. He seemed stoic, like he was putting on a strong front. Or he was really just doped up good and proper with pain medication. Letting her eyes go up to the bandage on his forehead, she felt her heart sink all over again. What a way to fuck up, Rainbow Dash. What a great way to make a first impression. "You know," Lee said, suddenly breaking the silence, "this is a perfect example of you being selfish and hogging all the glory for yourself." "Excuse me?" Dash said, sliding off the chair spinning to face Lee. "You heard me. This isn't a game of Who's the Bigger Dumb-ass, because if it was, I'd win." "Oh yeah?" "Yeah!" Lee said, raising his voice and nodding his head. "What kind of idiot tells you to throw a rock through a two-way portal, then sticks his face in the damn thing?" "I didn't have to throw the rock at all. I could have just tossed the rock... but, no! I'm Rainbow Dash. I do everything like I'm in some kind of hulked-out beast mode. I'm the bigger dumb-ass here!" "Hey!" Lee said rising to his full height. "What!?" Standing on her back legs, and bracing herself, Rainbow Dash was ill prepared for what followed. Suddenly doing a side to side tap dance on the tile floor, Lee jumped in the air and clicked his heels together, then finished his three second number by throwing his hands out to the side in a goofy flourish. "I'm here dumb-ass. I made it through the portal." If it were possible, steam would have begun to boil from Rainbow Dash's ears. Her face was stiff, her jaw was clenched, and from the depths of her chest came a mild growl that grew until it was a full raging bellow. "You fucking, jerk-wad bastard!" Still holding his pose, Lee braced himself for a Chuck Norris style roundhouse kick to the face, but instead, received a small slouching pegasus, as she slow-walked up to him and put her head against his mid-section. "I'm so sorry," Lee said reaching down and putting his arms around her. "I should have been more careful. I promise that the next time you hit me with a rock, I'll deserve it." For the few moments that they embraced, Lee could feel the strength in Rainbow Dash's small body as she squeezed him. She was warm, and had a crisp fresh smell to her, like a sun washed afternoon. Her mane was silky soft, and her feathers made mild rustling sounds as they shifted against her back under his arms. She may have been a pony, definitely a pegasus; but she was nothing like any equine Lee had ever seen before. Her shape was similar, but her features were almost anthropomorphic. Facial expressions, body language... she was definitely not an animal. Looking up at him, Rainbow brought a hoof to her forehead in a sympathetic gesture. "Does it hurt?" "Not so much. The doctor gave me some pain medication. I've honestly had hangovers worse than this." The bandage on Lee's forehead did a decent job of covering his bump, but the dark color under the wrappings were a major concern, and a reminder that he had been injured enough to draw blood. "It stinks that you won't be able to go back home for a few days," Rainbow said, doing her best to take her mind off of the bandage. "I don't think so," Lee said, unable to stop himself from rustling the base of Rainbow Dash's mane with his fingers. "This is like a vacation. Time off from writing, time away from deadlines, and pushy agents." The gentle rustling that Lee was doing with his fingers sent hundreds of tiny tingles down Rainbow's back. As a result, her wings began to involuntarily twitch, and she found herself rhythmically bobbing her head side to side. "I've never felt anything so soft before," Lee said, transfixed on the multicolored strands in his fingers. "You smell so nice," Rainbow said. "Are you sure I'm not... dreaming?" The sound of a loud thud brought them out of their trance-like state. Looking up, Rainbow Dash instantly pulled away from Lee and turned to see what had happened. To her disbelief, Ditzy was standing in the hallway holding a hoof to her chest, and reeling backward. In front of her was Rainbow's flight bag. "Ditzy Doo!?" "Oh my gosh! It's a zombie!" Twisting his head around, Lee said excitedly, "Zombie! Where!? Where zombie!?" "What?" Rainbow said, looking between Ditzy and Lee, then realizing. "Ditzy, he didn't die!" Before Rainbow could explain further, Ditzy shrieked and bolted away from them as fast as she could. "Let me guess," Lee said. "There's a reason her name is Ditzy." Walking over to her bag, Rainbow Dash scooped it up and slung it around her neck. "There are times when I wonder what goes on in that head of hers, and then there are times that the thought terrifies me to no end." "Maybe we should go see what's taking Twilight so long," Lee suggested. "She's almost finished," they heard a voice say behind them. Turning to look, Rainbow frowned. "Maude?" Looking carefully first at Rainbow Dash, then at Lee, Maude said, "She was going over the fine print with the clerk, she could be a while." "Maude, what are you doing here?" "I heard about the accident at the construction site, and came over right away." "The construction site?" Lee said. "You mean the gazing pool?" Rather than answer, Maude stood there and blinked a time or two. Realizing that Maude had no clue what was going on, Rainbow Dash decided to sum up everything by motioning to Lee. "Maude Pie, this is Lee Morgan. He's from the world on the other side of the gazing pool. He's the h'yoomen that I've been talking to on the televox, and tonight for reasons which I don't want to get into, he fell into the pool, and it magically transported him here." "Landing on your face isn't smart at all," she said. "You should be more careful." After a few more blinks, Maude reached inside her frock revealing a small black object. Looking down, Lee saw that it was his cell phone. "Then this must belong to you." It was well past nightfall when Mystic Fire reached Sugarcube Corner. There was a small light on near the entrance, and Mystic Fire approached carefully, making sure that she wasn't followed. She doubted very much that in such a small town there would be much cause for paranoia, but the feeling had sufficed her nicely over the years, and had protected her well. Reaching a clawed hand out from under her cloak, she knocked twice, and waited. After the count of ten, she knocked once more, and drew back suddenly when the door burst open and a pink pony appeared in the doorway with a toothbrush dangling from her mouth. "Are you from the chimichanga place?" "Chimi... what?" Noticing Mystic Fire's claws, Pinkie Pie spit the toothbrush from her mouth. "Oh, those are perfect for stitching popcorn together; we're still short two walls and a veranda!" "Wait a minute," Mystic Fire said sternly. "I'm here to see Maude Pie. Is that you?" "Nope. She's gone. You just missed her." "Did she say when she was coming back?" "Didn't say," Pinkie said, reaching out and grabbing Mystic Fire by the cloak. "So do you want the walls or the veranda?" "Gyaaah!" Author's Note Have some chapter exit music! Sorry for the delay. Thanks for the support!
The Seventh ChapterView OnlineBunderblissThe Seventh Chapter(7) Despite the day being long and tiresome, the night seemed to pass more swiftly. Once Lee was released from the hospital, he, Twilight, and Rainbow Dash made their way to Twilight's home at the tree library. There wasn't much in the way of small-talk, but there were a few curious questions from Twilight, as she did her best to observe Lee in the nighttime. Mostly though, the three of them walked on in relative silence until they arrived; tired, weary, and most of all, ready for sleep. Unfortunately that supposedly meant no sleep for Lee. As per the doctor's orders, he wasn't allowed to drift off into any sort of peaceful repose until he was well past the danger of slipping into a coma. Regardless, little more than half an hour later, Lee was asleep on the sofa in Twilight's den, while Rainbow Dash and Twilight shared the one bed in the loft. There was little argument, since both Lee and Twilight agreed that the doctor's assessment of Lee's condition greatly erred on the side of caution; since they were ridiculously under prepared to provide adequate medical care for a human. Rainbow Dash was far too tired to fly back to her home, and gratefully took Twilight up on the offer to stay the night and help look after Lee. At first, she considered the possibility that everything that had happened up until that point was just a dream, but as the minutes passed, the reality of the situation came collapsing down on her with the weight of a thousand worlds. She may have quietly wanted to meet Lee face to face, and while this wasn't the most ideal of circumstances, her wish nevertheless came to pass. He was here, and now that he was, she was more unsure of herself than she had ever been in her whole life. You have to get it together! she scolded herself. There is nothing you can do by continuing to worry. If he didn't want to be here, he would have made straight for the gazing pool portal the second they let him out of the hospital; he wouldn't have followed you back to Twilight's house. It was a few minutes past two in the morning that Rainbow Dash felt her left leg growing cold. Roused from her sleep, she felt an urge to go to the bathroom, and gently slid from her side of the bed, creeping to the stairs. Doing her best to keep from making noise, Rainbow inched down the stairs to the bottom floor, and slowly moved to the bathroom; closing the door inch by inch until the latch clicked. Having spent so much of the past few years surrounded by female friends, it was no concern for her to do her business in the bathroom and worry about who would hear her in there. But now, with the presence of a male not six cubits from the bathroom door, every noise and tinkle she made seemed as though it were a cannon going off inside the small room; no doubt being overheard. Quickly but quietly finishing up, she washed her hooves in the sink, and slowly opened the door; half expecting Lee to be standing up and waiting for her on the other side. The coast was clear. She could relax; no-pony had heard her pee. Once out into the den, she looked toward the sofa, barely making out the sleeping form under the blanket. There were soft snoring sounds coming from Lee as he slumbered. Debating with herself, Rainbow inched closer to the sofa to get a better look, but a mild snort from Lee sent her stepping backward quickly. It wasn't a good idea to meddle with him just yet. Best to wait until he was awake. As she turned to reascend the stairs, she thought back to the hospital; his soft claws in her mane, and the strange wonderful aroma that seemed to flood her nostrils. Was that some kind of moment? She could still feel his fingers as they worked into her long strands of hair. The warmth that seemed to spread over her; and the tingling sensations, as they raced along her body. By the time she had reached the top landing, she was already breathing hard, and Twilight had woke up, leaning up on her forearms, watching her. “Is everything all right, Rainbow?” “Uh, yeah. Everything is fine. I just had to go to the toilet.” “Oh... well then, good night.” “You too,” she said, slipping back under the covers and making sure that her lower half was properly covered up. The first thing that Lee noticed when he woke up was the sharp, dull pain in the front of his head. His eyes felt like they were six sizes too large for his eye sockets, and his tongue felt dry. Rubbing his tongue around on the inside of his mouth seemed to only make the sticky sensation worse. In addition to feeling as though he had taken a few left hooks from Rocky Balboa straight to the face, his neck felt stiff, and ached when he moved his head to look around. He could easily determine that it was daylight, considering the heavy amount of sunshine that was beaming in through the various windows of the library. Somewhere off to the left of him he could hear sounds of bustling; little tinkling noises, and metallic scraping sounds. There was also a heavy smell adrift through the air, that reminded him of coffee and toast. Resting the thick part of his palm against the front of his forehead, Lee felt the throbbing intensify as he applied pressure. At least it was something that could heal in a few days, and didn't require that he be restricted to bed rest. The bandage on his head felt stiff and loose on one side, and he wondered about changing it, or if he could go without it. Bringing himself into an upright sitting position, Lee allowed himself the opportunity to take in the interior of where he had spent the previous night. Bringing his hand back up to rub at the edges of his eyes, Lee took a couple of deep breaths and glanced around. There were shelves and shelves of books, scrolls and the occasional small object. If he had to guess, then it was the library that he had heard mentioned. The room itself was round wood, the floor was stained wood, and everything seemed as though it were fashioned by Hobbits, or Amish. There was more clanking sounds coming from the direction of a closed door, followed closely by giggling. Immediately, Lee was reminded more of the events from the night before. Instantly he remembered that there was more than just the head wound, the trip to the ER, and the crashing-out on someone's couch. This was no weekend party at a friend's house: this was fucking Equestria! Reaching inside his front pocket, Lee extracted his cell phone, and brought up the display. It was just past eight in the morning. There were no missed calls or messages from his agent. There were no missed calls from anyone. Guess that ruled his cell phone out as being a magical item. Frowning, Lee pressed the phone icon and went to his list of most recent received calls. Trying the number at the top, he pressed the green button and placed the cell next to his ear. There was the initial beep as though the call would go through, followed instantly by silence. Scooting closer to the edge of the sofa, Lee looked down at the floor at noticed that his shoes were off and neatly placed next to him. He couldn't remember taking off his shoes, but then, there was a lot he was still a little fuzzy on. Bringing himself into an upright stance, he was just about begin his search of the residence, when the door to the kitchen opened and Twilight emerged full of smiles and levitating a paper grocery bag next to her. Locking gazes, Twilight's smile faded, and Lee went rigid. It was silly to think that after their shared ordeal the night before that he would be apprehensive about seeing living, breathing, talking, colorful ponies; but considering that his brain had suffered a slight concussion, and he was still processing the facts, it was to be expected that he would stand perfectly still, staring at her with his mouth slightly agape. Think of something to say. Watching as Twilight sat the bag down, Lee could only think of how small she was. He hadn't had much time to think on it, but compared to other ponies that he had seen, she was down-right tiny. “Oh, good, you're awake.” “Uh...” Turning back to the kitchen, Twilight called out, “Rainbow Dash! Lee's awake!” There were instantaneous sounds of clanking, and scurrying, and a blue explosion seemed to suddenly fill the frame of the doorway. “Lee, you're awake!?” she yelled, rushing up in front of him. “Are you all right? Are you sure you should be standing? Does your head hurt? Are you hungry?” “Uh...” he said again, this time letting his eyes switch back and forth from Rainbow to Twilight. “I need‒” “You need something to eat?” Rainbow Dash said excitedly. “Or, something to drink? A glass of water?” “I need‒” “What is it that you need? Tell us?” Rainbow Dash was already lifted off the floor, hovering at eye level with Lee. “I need to go to the bathroom!” Without a moment's hesitation, Rainbow Dash landed on the floor, blushing, and pointed back toward the small doorway. “Uh, it's over there,” she said, doing her best to hide her embarrassment. Twilight on the other hand let out a small cough, and used her magic to begin lifting things from the paper sack. “I took the liberty of getting a few things from town this morning,” she said placing some objects on the small table near her. “I got an extra toothbrush, and a hair brush for your mane. There's plenty of tooth polish, so feel free to help yourself.” Reaching to pick up the toothbrush, Lee almost let out a chuckle. The damn thing was big enough to choke a horse. Not that he would be so crass as to say it out loud. The wooden handle of the toothbrush was large enough to hold with almost two hands, and the bristles on the end were wide enough to cover over the outside of his mouth with his lips closed together. The hair brush wasn't much smaller. It was long... ridiculously long; and like the toothbrush, sported a handle twice the normal size. Looking at the items and then back at Twilight's grinning muzzle, Lee smiled and nodded. “Thanks,” he said, scooping them up. “I appreciate it.” Clearly ponies had a hard time holding things with hooves, and so they simply modified things to fit their pony grips. Once at the door of the bathroom, Lee looked back to see that Rainbow Dash and Twilight were still watching him. He eased the door closed, and looked through the crack one last time before closing it all the way. The bathroom took some adjustment. It was smaller, shorter, and more compact than the bathrooms that he was used to. The toilet was little, almost made for a child, and angled in a weird way; which made taking a piss easy, but for other things, he reasoned that it would take some maneuvering. The mirror over the sink was down low, forcing him to stand on his knees to see his reflection. He grimaced briefly at his complexion: dark rings under his eyes, bruised forehead, and he looked haggard. A real great first impression as a delegate from another world. The toothbrush was damn-right comical looking sticking from his mouth as he shoved and pushed, doing his best to scrub at his mouth. The bristles were soft, but the sheer size of the toothbrush was crazy when compared to his own mouth. Despite himself, Lee had to wonder how big a pony's mouth actually was. He once knew a kid in junior high that could cram their whole fist in their mouth. Two chuckles escaped his throat as he reflected on the funny memories. When he finally finished, he exited the bathroom to find Rainbow Dash sitting on the couch examining one of his shoes. She was so caught up in her examination that she didn't notice when he came out. Her head was tilted slightly to the side, and she was trying to poke her hoof into the open top. “It works better if you untie it first,” Lee said, as he approached. “Lee!” she said, putting the shoes down, and smiling at him. “I... uh, brought you a cup of coffee.” She motioned at the nearby table to a cup of steaming liquid, to which Lee instantly made a beeline. “Oh, thank God! You're a lifesaver,” he told her as he snatched up the cup and brought it to his lips, completely ignoring the fact or possibility that his version of coffee and Equestria's version of coffee might be two separate things. He was committed however and took a small sip, wrinkling his nose. It was dark and rich, and the taste was beyond amazing. Patting the seat cushion next to her, Rainbow Dash said, “I wasn't sure how you said you liked it, so I made it how I like it. I hope it's okay.” “It's delicious,” Lee said, obeying and taking a seat next to her. “Great! I want to change your bandage before we eat.” Bringing his free hand up to his forehead, Lee rubbed gently. “I told you before that you didn't have to beat yourself up over this.” “I know that,” she shot back. “I just want to do my part. Consider this my penance.” Taking another quick sip, Lee cradled the cup in his hands as Rainbow set in to removing the bandage. He watched her closely, observing how she moved; how her hooves worked; the look she made when she pulled back the wrapping, revealing his forehead. There was something about her that set him at ease. Something calming and relaxing; like a dreamy-eyed child being read a bedtime fairy tale. “So, what are we having for breakfast?” “Scrambled eggs, toast and some sort of sweet roll.” Placing her hooves on the side of his head, she gently moved his face down, then with delicate precision she applied a small dab of ointment. Despite her nostrils being filled with the medicinal smell of the antibacterial cream, Rainbow couldn't help but get several large sniffs of Lee. The same smell she encountered at the hospital. “Don't you have work today?” Lee asked. “Nope,” she said, while placing a fresh bandage against his head. “Does this hurt?” “Not anymore,” he said. “Aren't you going to get in trouble if you just take off?” “I have about two years worth of vacation and PTO hours; I can pretty much do whatever the hell I want.” Placing the last of the adhesive to his forehead, she leaned back to examine her work, and nodded. “Of course, there's no telling what sort of volcanic eruption will happen if I'm not there to handle it though.” Rainbow's wings were folded next to her sides, though the rigid feathers made small rustling noises near the ends as she moved and worked. Lee was tempted to run his hand over one of the feathers. A pegasus that works in a weather factory... seemed strangely fitting, somehow. Letting out a chuckle, Rainbow Dash looked at him quizzically. “Care to share the joke?” “A pony that makes weather,” he said. For a brief second, she stopped and looked him in the eyes. It was the first time she had gotten a chance to be this close to him, to get the opportunity to take in all of his features. Quietly returning the gaze, Lee was just about to speak when he saw movement from the corner of his eye, and turned just slightly to see Spike walking into the living room. Instantly, Lee's body went rigid, and his shoulders stiffened. “What the hell?” “Gross! They make cheap hotels for that sort of thing, you know?” Furrowing her brow, Rainbow Dash turned her head to follow Spike, and retorted, “Every time you talk, all I hear is, 'Blah, blah, blah, I'm an asshole!'” Paying her no mind, Spike continued walking until he was through the door to the basement. Still staring, Lee brought his eyes back to Rainbow Dash and offered her an inquisitive expression. “That was Spike,” she said. “He's Twilight's ward, or live-in assistant.” “What is he?” “He's an asshole.” “Seriously.” “He's a dragon, he's going through some sort of post-pubescent, bastard phase; so if he gives you attitude, just ignore him, or hit him with something.” “Why is he so small?” “Twilight stunted him by accident,” Dash said, shrugging. “Apparently, she didn't know that dragons were supposed to be raised outdoors, because they physically grow to adapt to their environment. Huh... maybe that explains why he's such a dick most of the time.” “Gee, you think?” Putting away the extra bandages and ointment, Rainbow turned and gently punched Lee on the shoulder. “Come on jerk-face, let's go get something to eat.” Sitting at the small table in the kitchen, Lee looked between Rainbow Dash and Twilight. They each were sitting at a place setting, each had a cup of coffee, and Twilight had next to her a book with some pages of loose paper next to it. Obviously using magic, she was levitating and manipulating a pencil to write between bites. The whole scene seemed almost entirely too surreal. It reminded Lee of those pictures of dogs playing poker at a table. Suddenly as if the thought had just occurred to her, Twilight looked up from her scribbling, and addressed Lee. “I hope you don't mind, but I took some initial data from you before you woke up this morning.” “Data?” Rolling her eyes, Rainbow Dash chimed in, saying, “That means she probably molested you while you slept.” “It does not!” she countered, halfway rising from her seat. “I just took a few samples, got your measurements, and estimated your weight. You are after all, the first h'yoomen to arrive in Equestria in centuries.” “So I've been told... wait, what kind of samples?” Looking between them, Twilight shifted her gaze from Lee to Rainbow Dash, and then back at Lee. “I got a few of your hairs while you slept.” “You pulled out his mane?” Rainbow said, slouching back in her chair in a defeated posture. “That's going a bit far, even for you, Twilight.” “Honest, I didn't! They were there on the pillow, so I picked them up.” “See, how it works in the real world, is that if you want to know something about some-pony; you ask them questions, and they answer you back.” “Oh, I haven't gotten to that stage yet,” she said, “I have tons of questions. Like how you can balance yourself on your hooves; how you make your clothes, why you smell so good.” At the last part, Rainbow Dash, caught in the middle of taking a huge sip from her coffee mug, spit and coughed, then jerked her head back to Lee. For several long heartbeats, the three of them exchanged looks with one another; Lee looked between Twilight and Rainbow, and then calmly brought his napkin up to his mouth and dabbed at the corners. “I have a smell?” “You don't know?” Twilight said. “Never noticed one before.” “Maybe we should discuss something else,” Rainbow said, giving Twilight a stern frown, and shaking her head. “I'm sure that, Lee isn't interested in discussing h'yoomens first thing in the morning.” Catching Dash's frown, and understanding what she meant, Twilight brought her hoof up to her mouth and coughed once. “Right. Well, in that case, I should probably tell you that Princess Celestia will be arriving later to meet with you.” Lee had his over-sized fork almost all the way to his mouth with the scrambled eggs, and nearly dropped it back to his plate. “Wha... the Princess is coming here?” “She sure is,” Twilight beamed, then instantly her muzzle fell into a worried expression. “However, I do have to warn you, Lee; she might not be very friendly toward you.” “This has something to do with that encounter with Sir Percival, doesn't it?” Frowning, Twilight looked at him inquisitively. “How did you know that?” “Rainbow Dash mentioned to me on the phone that one of the knights of the round table ended up here in, uh... Equestria.” “What Rainbow Dash didn't know was that the knight engaged Princess Celestia in combat, and the two of them nearly died.” Carefully watching Lee, Twilight added, “So, I'm not sure exactly how the Princess will react to meeting you for the first time.” “Well, you can assure Princess Celestia that I am not a knight, nor do I intend on engaging in some sort of mortal combat.” Making a loud Mmmm noise, Rainbow Dash quickly swallowed her drink of coffee, and motioned at Lee. “That's right, Lee is a writer. He writes crime novels.” “Is that so?” Twilight said, nodding her head up and down. “Then I guess you should feel right at home here in the library.” “It is rather cozy,” he admitted. “I have a library in my home, but it's just a small one for research purposes, and what-not.” “How many books have you written?” “Enough to earn a respectable living,” he said, not wanting to sound as though he were braggish. “The last one was well received by the critics, and even landed on the best seller's list for a few weeks.” “Rainbow Dash likes the Daring Do series,” Twilight said, scooping up the last of her eggs and pushing the bite into her mouth. “Yeah, she mentioned that.” “I told him that already,” she said. “You should totally check out the Daring Do books, now that you're here.” Then as if a small dark cloud began to loom over the setting at the table, Rainbow Dash's expression changed to one of worry. Quickly catching on to the sudden shift in mood, Lee cut careful glances at the two ponies. “Is something wrong?” he asked. “It's just... you're probably in a hurry to get back to your own world,” Rainbow said. “If you even can.” Chuckling to himself, Lee said, “Don't fret it, Pony-Girl, I'm sure that whatever magic or mayhem brought me here, will be able to send me back when the time is right.” "You aren't the least bit worried?" Rainbow Dash said, watching him closely. "Only when I have to be." Dawn came later than anticipated for Mystic Fire. The first thing she noticed when she opened her eyes, was the unmistakable sound of some-pony opening a door, and hoof-falls approaching. Taking a moment to gather her thoughts, she quickly looked around the room, catching sight of the huge popcorn house, and the debris that littered the floor in all directions. When Mystic Fire turned to see the pony that entered the room, she was surprised to find that it wasn't her host the night before; it was a grey pony wearing a bluish frock. She was holding a small stone in her hoof, and she looked pissed.
