Chapters Twilight's Shipping Goggles
TWILIGHT'S SHIPPING GOGGLES
Chapter 1: Delivery
Drawing in a deep breath, I took in the aroma of the tea in my cup before taking my first sip. A pleased smile formed as the flavor washed over my palette and I identified at least three of the plants in the blend in that one mouthful. With a satisfied sigh, I set the cup down on the table and looked at my dining partner across the table.
Cadance returned the smile, and set her own cup down. “Well?”
Seeking to buy some more time, I quietly smacked my mouth a few times to bring the flavor of the tea from my tongue to my nostrils and thought for a moment. “Mao feng green tea, Saddle Arabian chamomile, lemongrass, jasmine, and...” I searched my mind for the name of the final flavor when it hit me. “Hibiscus?” I asked hesitantly.
The pink alicorn clapped her hooves appreciatively. “I thought I had you that time,” she said with a sly smile.
“I'll admit that the jasmine and mao feng hid it well, but the Princess and I have been taking tea together for some time, and her collection is rather... extensive ,” I returned with a shrug. I took another sip of the tea, marveling at the interplay of the blended plants. “So, how have you been adapting to ruling a nation? Is Shiny being helpful, or has he been secreting himself away in the barracks with the guards?”
With a roll of her eyes, Cadance replied, “I sometimes think I need a crowbar to pry him out of those stupid barracks. You know I found him playing acey-deucey there the other night while I was waiting for him with a candlelit dinner going cold on our balcony; this very same balcony?”
I chuckled and shook my head. When will he ever change? “Sounds like you need to use the right kind of crowbar if you want the desired results, sister-o-mine.”
“Oh? What would you suggest, my favorite little sister?” the princess asked. Her sly smile had returned, but the tone of her voice betrayed her interest in what her husband's sister had to say on the subject.
Leaning back in the chair on the same balcony Cadance's failed attempt at a romantic dinner had occurred, I tried to not look too smug, dispensing relationship advice to the Alicorn of Love. “Shiny's always been 'het up' for military pursuits, as my friend Applejack would say. You just need to capitalize on that. When he comes in tonight after doing whatever it is he does these days, give him a surprise inspection. Act like a drill instructor; give him demerits for sloppy clothes, poor posture, coming in late , things like that. But!” I interrupted myself, holding up a hoof to forestall any objections, “use it as a prelude to more... amorous pursuits. Try taking the reins for once, and don't let him dictate the terms. That's not to say you shouldn't make it pleasurable for him, just use it as a reward for good behavior, and make sure that he knows more will be coming his way if he continues behavior you like. Once you have his interest, he'll follow you like a lost puppy again.”
Cadance appeared shocked by my advice, more so for how accurate it may prove itself. A sudden thought must have occurred to her as I sensed a sudden shift in her ever-mercurial mood. The sly smile deepened and she rested her head on her crossed hooves and stared at me. “When did my Ladybug learn about such things?”
I levitated a croissant to my mouth and took a nibble. “What? A girl can't know some inside information about her brother and pass it along to his beloved wife?” I asked with far too much innocence to be genuine.
Like a puppy with a favorite toy, Cadance refused to let the matter go. “I just never expected you of all ponies to speak so frankly about intimate matters, especially when such talk will result in me seducing your own brother .” She emphasized the final word, and suppressed a giggle as the implications of what we had been talking about finally sunk into my sometimes admittedly, dense head.
My eyes must have been as wide as dinner plates just before I shut them and grimaced distastefully. “Oh, ew, ew, ew, ew! Cady, you can never speak about this to anypony, ever, especially to Shiny!”
Cadance laughed gaily at my discomfort. She wiped away a tear. She must have realized just how much she had missed our “girl time” together. I think she must have spotted movement on the street below her palace balcony, because I saw the beginnings of a nasty idea forming in her head. I knew it was a nasty idea, because that look invariably meant something wicked this way comes. “Alright, alright. I'll even change the subject. Look down there, Twily.”
Looking down to where Cadance was pointing, casually so as to not draw attention to them, my eyes zeroed in on a pair of mares walking together, window shopping. One of the mares pointed at a hat in a window and the other said something, but even from this distance, I could see her lips form the word “love”. They looked to be a good match for each other, one complimenting the other well. “Aw, they're such a cute couple, aren't they? I wonder when the pegasus will ask the other one out?”
A grin spread across Cadance's features, and she could barely restrain a squeal of delight. As casually as she could manage, which was to say, not at all, she asked, “So, when did they come in?”
“Mind-bendingly atrocious grammar aside, when did what come in?” I lightly asked, turning back to face my sister in-law, and was more than a little disconcerted by her expression.
“Your Shipping Goggles, of course.”
I blinked at her a few times in confusion. “Um, m- my what?”
Cadance slipped out of her chair and walked around the table to stand next to me and threw a foreleg over my shoulders. Her other forehoof directed my gaze back to the mares who were still at the window, the pegasus now giggling at a joke told by her earth pony companion. “Those two have been dancing around their feelings for weeks now, ever since they realized how they felt for one another. You not only recognized that they had romantic feelings for each other and had long-term compatibility, but also that they had yet to confess. Hay, you even realized that the pegasus will be the first to confess! That, my filly, is the work of Shipping Goggles, and as the Alicorn of Love, you can safely believe me when I say that you have them."
I stared at her a moment longer before playfully batting at her chest and laughing. “Ha ha ha. You really had me going there, Cady. That was a good one. ‘Shipping Goggles’, indeed.”
My laughter died in the face of the grim, serious expression Cadance was giving me. “I never joke about shipping, Twilight Sparkle. Never .”
With a gulp, I nervously looked for an escape route. Cadance had only used my full name once after breaking a bottle of her favorite perfume which had been given to her by Shining for Hearth’s Warming many years ago. “C- C- Cady, you’re scaring me,” I said in a low, tremulous voice.
Sighing, Cadance blinked, allowing her face to assume a more genial expression. “I’m sorry, Twily, but if you’re going to use Shipping Goggles, you need to be responsible with them. It’s far too easy to let it go to your head and just manipulate ponies at a whim.”
Now that the danger seemed to have passed, I breathed a little easier. “What is this about ‘Shipping Goggles’, Cady? What are you talking about?”
Cadance returned to her seat and took a long sip from her teacup. “Well, it’s really my term for it. It’s not actual, physical goggles you can wear, but more like having a discerning eye for certain connections between ponies. There are of course, varying levels and kinds of goggles; Friendship Goggles, Enemy Goggles, Spy Goggles (the most rare kind, by the way), and of course, Shipping Goggles. Almost all ponies have them to some degree, and rarely are they used correctly, which is why so many relationships are ruined by well-intentioned friends than anything else.
“We can forget the others for now, since it’s the pair you have that’s most relevant to this conversation,” the alicorn said, taking another sip. “Basically, you have the ability to see possible romantic connections between ponies, and how likely they are to remain together in a meaningful way. I really cannot stress to you how wonderful, and dangerous this gift is, Twilight. I suspect it came to you from being around me so much. Shiny has it as well, but chooses to ignore it as being ‘too troublesome’ for him, which is probably for the best. Light love him, but we both know he can be a regular butterhooves when it comes to emotions.”
I had to giggle at this assessment. I recalled all the times he tried to tell Cadance how he felt about her, but something always seemed to get in the way and he would always chicken out. I turned sober however as I thought out the implications of what she was saying. “So, what am I supposed to do about this?”
Cadance sat in silence for a moment and looked to the sky as if she would find the answer there. She must have found something, because she replied, “The way I see it, you really only have two options available to you. You can follow Shiny's example and ignore it totally as if it doesn't exist, and let this ability languish until it disappears entirely, if it ever does. However, I doubt you'll want to do that. You're too inquisitive to just let it go.”
We sat there in silence as I considered that course of action, and what would likely arise from it. After a moment, I asked, “Or?”
“Or you use this ability,” she returned simply. “Romance is another form of friendship; granted, it's a much more profound and deeply felt kind of friendship, but similar in many ways. Romance often forms from friendship, even. You could think of this as the next step in your lessons on friendship that Auntie Celestia's given you.” I hoped to Light that she didn't notice the slight blush tinging my cheeks, or the way I looked away when my mentor's name was mentioned.
Cadance shook her head. Instead of lecturing me more, she gave me one final warning. “Whatever you decide, Twily, remember that I'm just a message away if you run into trouble. Think of me as a tutor you can call on when the need arises in a subject new to you, but familiar to me.”
I considered her words carefully, and knew that I was going to need some time to think of what would be the best course of action.
(\ /)
Stepping off the train which had just pulled into Ponyville, I looked around as if setting hoof here for the first time. The same faces greeted Spike and I, but now that I was aware of my... new goggles , it was like seeing new ponies altogether. I could see they way they acted around each other, and how they modulated what they said and did depending on to whom they reacted.
Mr. Cake was standing on the platform, eagerly looking for his wife whom had also been in the Crystal Kingdom buying ingredients, but I noticed the way his eye tracked every mare on the platform, including me. Me, of all ponies! He all but ignored the stallions, but I noted that his eyes lingered on certain mares longer than was strictly necessary for a quick identification. I could feel a blush overtake me as I noticed that his eyes not only went to my face, but rested on my flanks for a considerably longer period. His eyes never really met mine, but they did light up with genuine affection and love when they came upon Mrs. Cake. I also noted how their bodies seemed to come together as if two halves of a whole had been rejoined, which eased my worry for their marriage.
A sharp poke in my side woke me from my musings and I looked down to see Spike, suitcase in one paw, and the other ready to repeat his attention-getting action if necessary. “Equestria to Twilight: are we going to get moving anytime soon? I'd like to get these gems the crystal ponies gave me put away before they go stale.” He treasured the small chest he had received as a thank you present for playing such a big part in their retaining their freedom from Sombra, and was proud to bring attention to them whenever possible.
“You know gems don't 'go stale', Spike. That's a physical impossibility,” I replied as we started walking again towards our home.
“Says the pony who doesn't eat them,” he shot back with a smirk.
I was going to rebut, but could not find fault in his logic. “Touché,” I conceded. As we neared the library, a pink missile intercepted us, knocking me to the ground. Before I could even think to react, a conical party hat had been slipped over my horn, a blowout noisemaker stuck between my lips, and an invitation along with several balloons placed in my hooves. Blue eyes stared into mine as a rapid-fire voice said something almost incomprehensible. “HiTwilight.NicetoseeyoubackfromtheCrystalKingdom.Howwasyourtrip.That'sgreat;likereallygreat!You'llcometomyWelcomebackfromtheCrystalKingdom,TwilightandSpikeandHappyApple-BuckingSeason,ApplejackBlowoutandHootenanny,right?Awesome!Seeyoutheretonight!Ifyou'llexcuseme,IthinkIseesomeponiesthatIhaven'tinvitedyet.Seeyoutonight!”
With another pink blur, the weight was lifted from my chest, and I looked around to see Spike had somehow been placed partially inside a sun-shaped piñata so that his head, limbs and tail stuck out of it, making him look like he had gained several pounds and his scales took on a distinctly crepe paper-like consistency. Needless to say, his expression was far from pleased. “Can we please just go home, now?” he asked.
“Oh, dear. It seems you too have fallen prey to Pinkie's caffeine-induced party invitation.”
I turned to see Rarity walking towards us, bits of confetti and glitter still stuck to her mane and coat, somehow making her look even more lovely than usual. Hey, it's not like I'm attracted to her like that, but even I can say that she's a knockout. Curious, I looked at her through my... new eyes, but was disappointed to see no particular affinity for anypony. Maybe it only works when somepony compatible is nearby? If so, what is the range? Ugh! There's just too many questions left unanswered, and I'm still not sure I want to pursue this field of study! Shaking my head, I replied, letting the party favor in my mouth drop to the ground, “Is that what that was? I thought that shade of pink looked familiar.”
Rarity sniffed and held her nose aloft. “Indeed. Rainbow thought it might be funny to introduce Pinkie to chocolate-covered coffee beans. I believe she lasted exactly fifteen seconds before she could take no more and departed for ah, quieter climes. Sadly, she left poor Ponyville with a manic Pinkie intent on celebrating something . She over heard Applejack bemoaning the fact that she hadn't been to a decent 'hootenanny' in ages and latched on to it.” She looked me in the eye and placed a hoof on my foreleg and desperately asked, “Oh, do say you'll come? I simply couldn't stand the thought of not having a pony of class to whom I could talk all night.”
“Of course we'll be there, Rarity! I'd never leave you in a lurch!” Spike volunteered for us oh, so helpfully.
Noticing him for the first time, the fashionista turned to him in surprise. “Oh, my! Don't you just look absolutely precious !” She pinched his blushing cheek and babbled baby talk to him, which he lapped up like a suffocating pony sucks in air.
I rolled my eyes in bemusement. “As Loverboy here said, we'll be there. It appears to be partly for us anyway.” A sudden thought occurred to me, and I just had to know the answer. “Say Rarity, have you ever heard of...” Suddenly, the question sounded incredibly dumb being voiced like this, and decided against it, especially after looking at her curious eyes. “... nevermind. It's nothing important.”
Rarity gave me an unconvinced look and started to turn away back to her boutique. “Alright, then. If you're certain. If you'll excuse me, I have a new chapeau on which I was working when Pinkie barged in that I simply must finish. I'll see you both tonight, then.” With a nod and a smile, she trotted off, leaving a lovesick Spike and a conflicted me to make it back to our home.
(\ /)
Standing at her dresser, I brushed my mane, trying to decide on which side to part the stripes. I knew that in the long run, it wouldn't matter and I'd go with what I always decided (on the left), but it was something to do as I stalled for time before going to Pinkie's party. In the mirror, I could see Spike carefully trying to put a leg through the piñata without tearing it or making a new hole. “Spike, I told you I will not be seen with you wearing that ridiculous thing. Throw it away.”
The baby dragon waved a paw at me dismissively. “Psht. You're just jealous that Rarity loved my new look and didn't even mention your stupid hat.”
Rolling my eyes yet again, (I wonder if this keeps up, were my eyes were going to roll right out of my head?). “Yes, that's what this is about. I'm jealous of Rarity thinking you looked cute as a baby dressed up like a piñata sun and ignored the stupid hat Pinkie put on me.”
Spike whirled on me, suddenly very angry. “You better not be thinking of stealing Rarity away from me, Twi! Seriously, you have like a hundred ponies to choose from; let me have this one!”
Walking up to my assistant and gently ruffling his head spines, I said, “Believe me, Spike. My interests in Rarity are purely platonic. This is entirely your show to win or lose on your own merits.”
Slightly mollified, Spike looked at the party favor and kicked it to the side. “You're right. If I'm going to win her love, I need to do it as myself, not a piñata.”
Delighted at his sudden show of maturity, I rubbed his spines again affectionately and walked out of the room, saying, “Attaboy, Spike. Just be yourself!”
As soon as I was out of the room, I could hear him reach into the basket that served as his bed and pull out a crown made of one solid gemstone, one of the treasures that the crystal ponies had given him, and carefully placed it on his head, proudly declaring, “And everypony knows that I'm all about the gems!” I could only facehoof at the ease with which he turns things around to suit himself.
(\ /)
I had not been this overwhelmed since the first night I spent in Ponyville. Back then, the source of my discomfort was because I had little experience interacting with ponies my own age in a social setting like an informal party. This time, however, the reason was something else entirely. Everywhere I looked, I could see the connections between the ponies. Their strengths varying, depending on the pony involved, and the amount of alcohol running in their systems.
One connection in particular caught me by surprise. Well, not just the connection, but the complication that came with it was both intriguing and frustrating. Pinkie brought the DJ another glass of punch, staying long enough to ask her if she needed anything else. All of her body language just screamed interest as well as compatibility, and the strange DJ seemed open to her. However, the DJ, (What was her name? Vital Strike? Velor Scrape?) seemed open to all the ponies that approached her, and there were plenty of those. Perhaps the most confounding was Rainbow Dash. Naturally, there was no way for the pegasus to know of Pinkie's feeling for the unicorn- she hid them very well, I thought- but her suggestive movements and come-hither looks towards the DJ really weren't helping matters.
I finally decided to take matters into my own hooves, and see if I could point Dash in another direction. I didn't get very far, as I was intercepted by Pinkie, herself. “Hiya, Twi! Enjoying the shindig? Oh, wait. This is supposed to be a hootenanny, isn't it? I guess it's a good thing we held it in Applejack's barn, huh?”
Shocked by her sudden appearance, I backed up in surprise when the pink mare appeared seemingly from nowhere. “Pinkie? Where- nevermind. I actually wanted to talk to you about something. That DJ-”
“Vinyl Scratch,” Pinkie helpfully supplied.
“Right,” I continued as if nothing had happened, “Do you...”
Pinkie tilted her head like a curious puppy and blinked a few times at me. “Do I what?”
Taking a deep breath, I plunged on. “Do you like her?”
With a giggle, Pinkie waved off such a silly question. “Of course I like her! She's a fun pony and a great friend!”
“No, no. I mean, do you like her as more than just a friend? I mean, could you see spending your life with her?” I persisted. This needed to be done, and it seemed she wasn't going to take the initiative.
Tsking in disappointment, Pinkie replied, “Oh, Twilight. That's not party talk! Parties are for having fun, not worrying about the future, or sad stuff like that. Now, are you going out on the dance floor and party those thoughts out of your head, or do I have to find you a partner who will?” She leaned in close, almost so our noses touched. “Don't think I won't, Missy!”
Frightened, I backed away from her slowly, bumping into another pony. Turning around, I found that I had wandered onto the dance floor, where ponies were dancing to the tune of Cotton Eye Beau. With Pinkie still in sight and glaring at me, I made my way deeper into the crowd, and finally bumped into Rainbow Dash, who was still flashing the DJ her pearly whites. Deciding to take another path, I called to her, “Rainbow?” The pegasus cocked her head and said something which was drowned out by the music. “Can I talk to you a minute, Rainbow?”
“Can't talk right now, Twilight! Too loud!” Dash replied, shouting to be heard over the music.
Taking a quick look around and not spotting Pinkie, I decided to risk it. I grabbed her by the hoof, and pushed our way through the crowd, to a quieter corner of the barn. Hidden from view by some hay bales, I asked, “Rainbow, do you like that mare?”
Dash, looked at me in shock. “Twilight? I never figured you for being one of those hetero only prudes. I thought Canterlot was more open minded than that.”
“It is- that is, I'm not- I mean, that's not what this is about!” I sputtered at her. Dash cocked an eyebrow at me in confusion. Taking a deep breath, I tried again. “...” I froze. There was no other word for it; my brain just refused to work, not allowing me to articulate my feelings or thoughts. Apparently, I was bad at this. Instead, I was seized by another notion. What if this messes up Pinkie's chance at Vinyl? What if my intuition is wrong about Vinyl and Rainbow? It's entirely possible that they could hit it off if left alone, couldn't it?
Dash watched me for a moment, curious where I was going with the conversation, but after a few seconds of my standing there with my mouth hanging open, and eyes unfocused, she must have begun to worry. “You okay there, Twilight?”
Finally blinking after what seemed like forever, I gave her a nervous smile. “Y- yeah. I'm fine. I just... yeah, fine.”
I started to walk off, but Dash called out to me, “Are you okay, Twi? You look a little... out of it.”
Giving her a strained smile, I lightly replied, “Yeah, I'm good. I just need something to drink. You go on back to... whatever it was you were doing. I'm okay.” With that, I trotted off into the crowd, quickly losing sight of the brash pegasus. I made my way to the refreshment table which was groaning under the weight of the treats and drinks there. Taking a bottle of cider from a giant bucket of ice, I popped the top and took a long swig. I hadn't realized just how thirsty I actually was until the chilled drink hit my cottony mouth. Downing the entire bottle, I used my telekinesis to gently set into the trash bin and scooped out a couple of ice cubes to suck on.
“Hoo-wee , girl, yah just drank that sucker down like yah ain't never had a drop to drink in your life! Yah dancin' up a sweat there, Twi?”
Recognizing the voice (if not the accent), I turned around to see Applejack walking up to me, her grin a mile wide. “I guess you could say that, Applejack. Happy apple bucking season by the way. I didn't think it was usually something worth celebrating.”
“Oh, it ain't,” Applejack replied, her smile turning a bit sardonic. “At least, not usually. 'Course, once Pinkie gets her heart set on throwin' a party, ain't no force in Equestria that can stop her. That gal must have confetti in the blood, the way she's always ready for a party. Happy returnin' to Ponyville, by the by.”
“Thanks. It's not usually something I celebrate either, aside from a good, long soak in the tub, that is.” I replied. I looked around, spotting Pinkie once more at the DJ table, taking a turn at the spare turntable, scratching with Vinyl, both of them bumping rumps in time to the music. “She seems happy, at least,” I said, nodding towards the duo.
Looking over, Applejack's smile turned softer. “Ah reckon so. Yah know, she really missed yah while y'all was gone. We all did. The mayor got a wild hair up her butt about havin' a symphonic concert here in town, an' wanted your help organizin' it. Personally, Ah think she just wanted to ask y'all to call one of your fancy friends over in Canterlot to bring their band over and play. Luckily, we managed to get her to hold off until you returned instead of tryin' herself. We figured that you'd know how to get a hold of the schedules and stuff better'n we could.”
Already, my mind was abuzz with plans of to whom I should write to arrange a concert, as well as the logistics of the set up. However, I noticed the way Applejack's face took on a slightly reddish hue and her voice lilted just a little when she mentioned the mayor. Without even thinking about it, I asked, “What do you think of the mayor, Applejack?”
Applejack looked to me in confusion. “Huh? The mayor? She's okay, Ah reckon. Does a pretty good job, all in all. Why do yah ask?” she inquired.
I was confused by the casualness of the reply. If she was infatuated with the mayor, I don't think she would have been able to mention her again with so little reaction. Maybe I was wrong? Enh, I'll think about it later. “I see. Just curious.”
“Well, Ah'm gonna go see if Ah can drag Fluttershy onto the dance floor. The poor dear could use a little excitement in her life, and Ah reckon this is about the most she could stand,” the farmer said as she wandered off into the crowd, mission in hoof.
I spent the rest of the party pretty much the same way I passed time at all parties; decorating the wall. Several times, I almost plucked up the courage to go talk to the DJ in an attempt to get a read on her, but each time, I wondered what I could say to her that couldn't be misconstrued as being judgmental, or just plain nosy. So, I spent the night holding up the wall behind me, occasionally talking with a pony whom stopped for a bit of small talk, and watching the three ponies that most interested me.
I finally left for home when I saw Dash and Vinyl leave the party together once the DJ's gig was over, a snoring baby dragon draped across my back. One thing was certain, though; my curiosity and thirst to know how everything worked had made it a foregone conclusion whether or not I would be pursuing this field of study.
Author's Note
Back to familiar territory. I decided literally at the last moment to make this story first person perspective. It should make the sex scenes interestingly difficult to write and not make them seem voyeuristically pervy. If it doesn't work, I'll have to do a little work around to get them in. I've actually had the idea for this story since I began TSW (and no, this obviously isn't in the same universe), but haven't been able to get it going due to the other stories. Aywho, I'll make a blog post about this story soonish, to let you all know the special circumstances around it and the audience participation I'm planning.
Twilight's Shipping Goggles
Chapter 2: After Party Investigation
TWILIGHT'S SHIPPING GOGGLES
Chapter 2: After Party Investigation
The next morning found me still in the lower portion of my room, poring over every psychology book, interpersonal relationship book, romance novel, and just to be certain I covered my bases, fairy tale book with a romance-centered theme. I know that some might call my research methodology... overly thorough (in point of fact, everypony but Princess Celestia already did), but I've found that it works for me, and my results were ninety-eight, point six, six (repeating) on target. As was my habit, a small forest of books had grown up around me overnight as well as a tea service (gone stone cold hours ago) set on my desk, safely distant from any book. My phonograph was softly playing Espouse's Blue Dam Boot
The sound of mumbling and a small blanket being tossed aside announced that Spike had finally gotten up. Was it already that late? Huh. I could have sworn that I had only been at this for three or four hours at most. He stumbled down the stairs to the lower level (I was really going to have to get him his own room one of these days), and wandered over to where I lay on the floor, working. Clearing his throat of the nightly accumulation of the phlogiston that made up his flame breath, he tiredly asked, “Again, Twi? I'm younger than you, and even I know that all-night study sessions aren't healthy.”
Without turning around, I replied, “I already cut them down to no more than one a week, Spike.” I of course, failed to mention that emergencies can often bump that number up... as well as finding a new field of study that really interested me... or a new book... or- okay, maybe I really should cut down on the all-nighters. Besides, all those four a.m. warmed over hay fries can't be good for my figure.
Grunting something unintelligible, my assistant wandered off to take care of his morning ablutions, and I decided to set my research aside long enough to take care of my own body's needs. I rose and stretched, feeling my joints pop alarmingly. That settled that. Today, I was going outside to work out the kinks. Maybe do some kind of follow-up talk with Pinkie. Yes, that sounded like a good plan. Spike could watch the library himself for a few hours today.
It's not like we were likely to be swamped; this town had the most depressing low interest in reading it's ever been my displeasure to come across. About the only steady customers we had were the mayor looking up tax records or Miss Cheerilee browsing for something new to read. Now there's an idea. I could check in on Miss Cheerilee and bring her the souvenir I got her there. She's always good for a little intellectual talk. Not to disparage my fellow Ponyvillians (that doesn't sound quite right, does it?), but while smart in their chosen fields, talking shop with them tends to be rather short and... lacking depth.
Itinerary planned, I walked downstairs to collect the morning mail and start breakfast. Opening the door, I was surprised to find the Mayor's aide at my door, with a hoof raised to knock. Startled, I said, “Oh! Good morning. Can I help you Ink Well?”
The white mare blushed a little and answered while adjusting her glasses, “Er, yes. I apologize coming here so early, but the mayor wanted your input on a project she had in mind. I wouldn't have knocked, but I saw the light on in your room and heard you moving around in here, so I thought you might be up. Since you weren't available yesterday, she made sure I came out here before you go too busy, and-”
Raising a hoof to stop her, I said, “I heard about it a little from Applejack last night. Something about a concert, right? Come on in, and we can discuss it.” I stepped aside to let her in and pulled the mail in with a little tug of my telekinesis, closing the door behind us. I led her to the table in the main lobby, and asked, “I was about to make some breakfast, would you like anything?”
“Oh no, I couldn't impose,” she said quickly, shaking her head.
Halfway to the kitchen, I paused and looked back. “Are you sure? Some coffee and a muffin at least? I wasn't going to make anything special, just some cereal, really.”
Ink Well bit her lip, obvious desire for the precious liquid warring with her desire to not intrude anymore than her job had already required, but in the end, coffee won out, as it always did. I had once watched her polish off three entire pots almost by herself one day while working out the details of my second Winter Wrap-Up with the mayor. Now, I like my coffee too (any hardcore student could extoll the virtues of the cherished drink), but Ink Well put even me to shame. Working for someone like Mayor Mare, I can only imagine how many early mornings, late nights, and all-nighters she's been made to endure. I'm only an occasional volunteer, and I can tell you that she can be a real slave driver.
The battle in her mind was short, shorter even than the time it took for all this to run through my mind, I imagine. The earth pony nodded, almost as if ashamed to impose on my hospitality. That's one of the things that I really liked about her. No matter what, she was impeccably and unfailingly polite. It sort of reminded me of The Princess. “Just the coffee, please. B-”
“Black, half sugar,” I finished for her. I had been around her enough to remember how she takes it, after all. She blushed again and nodded as she looked away, causing me to giggle as I went into the kitchen to set the kettle to boil. I walked back out with a plate of three bran muffins (leftovers from Pinkie's party yesterday that she had insisted I bring home) and set them on the table. “The water should be ready soon, so why don't we get to work, starting with how big the mayor wants this to be.”
Ink Well pulled out a manilla folder holding pages of figures and forms. I'm sure my eyes glittered at the sight, causing her to smile at me. Hey, we all have our little quirks; mine just happens to be filling out paperwork, which works out well for the two of us, since Ink Well always has some that needs filling out.
As we got into the meat of the matter, I remembered my new project, and out of curiosity, I peeked at Ink Well with my... ugh. I have got to think of a better term than Cady's. That's just too embarrassing to try to put into a serious paper, or even a Friendship Report. I couldn't even imagine trying to explain it to The Princess... either of them. In any case, I looked at her with my... thing , and was confused by what I saw. I could tell that there was somepony in whom she was interested; she showed all the subtle signs. She was distracted, as if her mind were a million kilotrots away, and there was some undefinable... feeling of anxious joy. What did that mean? In whom could she be interested? I must say that it was quite perplexing. I would just have to wait to see how she interacted with other ponies, I guess.
Further investigation would have to wait as the kettle let loose a shrill whistle, announcing that the water was ready. I excused myself to prepare our coffee as well as my breakfast. Spike walked in while I was working and brought down a box of Ruby-ohs and fixed his own bowl of cereal. “What's the mayor's assistant want this early?” he asked, clearly only half interested.
“Mayor Mare wants to arrange for a symphony concert; 'bring a little culture to the town', I believe were her words according to Miss Ink Well,” I replied.
Spike got an impudent smile, and asked, “So, are you thinking of asking her for another favor?”
Confused, I asked back, “Her , whom?”
“Oh, you know,” he shot back, and mimed playing a cello, while batting his eyes at me in a disturbing manner.
Disquieted, I gave him a gentle shove, knocking him back a few steps so that he would stop his creepy act. “If by all that, you mean Octavia, then yes, I was considering dropping by her place when I go see The Princess tomorrow to see if she knows of any orchestra that's free next week and willing to play for next to nothing. It'd be nice to talk to her again; we haven't seen each other in over a month.”
Taking a bit of his cereal, Spike tried to talk around a mouthful before I glared at him and he swallowed, then replied, “Oh, I'm sure she'd make time for you , Twi.”
“Yes, she's a good friend like that,” I agreed. Remembering my plans, I added, “Oh, Spike. I'm planning on making the rounds around town today, see if I can drum up some attention for the library. Think you can hold down the fort today?”
“In this town? I think I'll manage somehow,” he answered tartly. “I'm sure I'll be so busy that I'll hardly have any time to go through even half my stack of comic books.”
I would have reprimanded him, but I'm hardly one to talk when it comes to reading on the job. There have been days where we literally got not one customer, and could have just closed up shop for the day and nopony would have noticed. It's enough to drive a librarian to drink. Thankfully, I hadn't succumbed to such depths, and had my research projects to keep it from happening. Nodding, I replied, “Yes, that's fine, Spike. Just don't get so caught up in your, ah, literature that you neglect anypony who does come in. If there's any trouble and you need to find me, I'll more than likely be with Miss Cheerilee.” He gave me an appraising look as I took down the Fancy Press for the coffee and scooped some grounds into it. “What?” I asked.
“I was just noticing that you seemed to be spending a lot of time with Cheerilee,” he said noncommittally.
I frowned at him, but his expression didn't change. “Miss Cheerilee happens to be excellent company and a stimulating conversationalist. You'd do well to give her the respect her education deserves, and listen to what she says now and then, Spike. You may just learn something from her.”
Spike mumbled something around a mouthful of cereal, but didn't care to repeat it after swallowing, electing instead to continue eating. I decided to follow the advice of a particularly good parenting book I had read, and let his little act of defiance go by uncommented upon. It said that you couldn't control your charge's life forever, and had to pick and choose your battles. Save the potential hurt feelings for when it matters most. “Well, just remember what I said about the customers, Spike. If I get back one bad report on you, I'll volunteer your services to Applejack again. She says that she could always use some help cleaning out the cows' barn.”
He gulped down his mouthful of cereal and nodded. Last time I lent his services to Applejack as punishment, she had him mending fences with Big Mac for an entire weekend. The poor little guy came back so exhausted, he promised to never again try to close the library while I'm out so that he could goof off. I left him with that warning as I walked back out to Ink Well, coffee and my breakfast in tow.
(\ /)
Sugarcube Corner was its usual madhouse self, this early in the morning. I was tempted to try to interrupt Pinkie, but with the line stretching out the door, I decided to wait until later. Maybe I'd have better luck then. As I walked past, I saw Rainbow flying down from her house with a pony dangling from her forelegs. I immediately recognized the DJ- I mean, Vinyl Scratch, and did the simple math. I could tell that their connection was no stronger than it was last night, and that really made me angry. Didn't either of them care for Pinkie's feelings? Vinyl I could excuse, because she and Pinkie don't hang out much, but Rainbow should have been more sensitive to her friend.
I didn't want to say or do something I might later regret, so I walked down a side alley on my way to Miss Cheerilee's, and was still fuming a little as I knocked on her door. I had to swallow my anger, as my knock was answered almost immediately. The door opened to reveal the teacher I had come to see. I forgot that I still had my shipp- I mean, my special sight was still going, and I saw Miss Cheerilee seemed really down. Oh, she hid it well; one does not become a good teacher while wearing their heart on their sleeve all the time, but my perception was able to notice that she seemed really... I guess one would call it resigned? I was left speculating why somepony with a career as fulfilling as hers would feel so... down, but the mare's voice thankfully stole my attention as well as my train of thought.
“Why, Twilight! What a pleasant surprise. To what do I owe the honor?” The mulberry mare's voice betrayed not one whit of sadness, only genuine interest in the purpose of my visit.
I was so shocked by Miss Cheerilee's demeanor that I was struck dumb, and it took me a moment to find my own voice again. “Ah, er, um, g- good morning, Miss Cheerilee. I was just dropping by for a little social visit, but if you're too busy, I'll understand. I didn't call ahead, after all, and-”
She smiled at me and stood aside. “No, no. You're not interrupting anything important, Twilight. Won't you come in?”
I hesitantly stepped in, looking around to make sure I really wasn't interrupting another visitor, but found the usual homey clutter in her house. Books lay stacked everywhere, and while decorated in a manner one would be more likely to find in a grandam's home, there was none of the odors one would associate with such a dwelling. She led me over to the overstuffed couch, it's lovely floral patterned fabric protected by crocheted antimacassars, then went into the kitchen for another cup to serve the coffee already sitting on the coffee table. Pouring me a cup, she asked, “So, how was your trip to the Crystal Empire? I hear it's quite lovely.”
Reminded of the trip, I used my magic to summon the small gift I had bought for her. “Thank you for reminding me. I saw this while I was there, and knew that I had to get you one.” I levitated a small box over to her, placing it in her hoof.
Blushing a little, she replied, “Oh, Twilight. You didn't have to go to all that trouble.” Opening the box, she gasped and pulled out a worked crystal tube a few inches long, about one across, and hollow in the middle. “It's lovely. Er, what is it?” she asked after a moment's examination.
With a satisfied smile, I answered, “It's a chalk holder. You put the stick inside, and twist the end when you need to extend it. You talked about how much you hate the taste of chalk, so when I saw the teachers there using this, I immediately thought of you and had one made.”
“Oh, Twilight, I couldn't. This looks far too expensive, and-” she gasped as she looked at the side, “You engraved it with my name?” Miss Cheerilee asked in shock.
I waved her objections off as inconsequential. “Oh, nonsense. This was just a trifle, really. The entire empire is made of crystal. Getting something there made of it is as common as getting something made of wood here. Besides, the craftsponies there are just begging for new customers who would appreciate their wares more than the locals.” I wasn't lying when I said all this. Getting anything made of crystal there costs about a tenth of what it does here, and it was just a trifling sum... for me. Granted, for most other ponies, it would have set them back maybe a week's wages, but for my stipend, it really wasn't all that much, but she didn't have to know that. It always made me feel good when I could ease the burden of an educator even just a little. When that educator was as hard working as Miss Cheerilee, well, it felt all the better.
She held the gift close to her chest and smiled at me tremulously. “Thank you, Twilight. I'll treasure it and see that it's put to good use.”
A subtle shift in her presence grabbed my attention while I was nodding. I saw that she sat up a little straighter, and the light in her eyes seemed a little brighter. Even her smile seemed a bit more genuine. Curious, I filed it away for a moment when I would be able to ask Cady about it, and the weak nature of her earlier attitude.
The rest of the visit went by quite pleasantly. We talked of little things; how the past week had gone, what we were planning on doing, that sort of thing. When I told her about the concert, she seemed quite excited by the prospect. “I haven't been to one since my college days in Canterlot,” she had told me, and almost seemed giddy about it. I guess she was a bigger fan of classical than I had previously thought. We got to talking about books we liked, and I promised to order some that she wanted to read again, using the book exchange the libraries have to promote new interest in books without having to take up room with new inventory.
It was a few hours later that I left Miss Cheerilee's house with a lighter heart than the one with which I had gone to see her. I had even mostly forgiven Rainbow for stealing Pinkie's opportunity last night... mostly . I made my way back to Sugarcube Corner for an early lunch before making my official rounds to try to drum up some business for myself. I may not work on commission, or even be dependent on the number of customers, but that doesn't mean I can slack off when it comes to trying to get ponies to read more. After all, a pony who becomes interested in reading today may one day make some important discovery or write the next great Equestrian novel, all because I took the initiative to show them how great books are. How could I resist being part of something great like that?
I walked into the mostly empty bakery, and was immediately stunned by the aroma of baking bread. Coming to this store was murder on a filly's pocketbook and waistline, but totally worth it. Walking up to the counter, I saw the proprietress ponying the counter, who smiled at me in genuine affection. “Good morning, Twilight. What can I get you today?” Mrs. Cake asked.
I had originally intended on getting some more of their delicious bran muffins, but that bread had worked its magic on my brain. “Good morning, Mrs. Cake. Could I have a cinnamon roll? The kind with the cherries spread over the top? Oh, and a hot chocolate, please.”
“Certainly,” she replied, and turned to collect my order. While she worked, I noticed that her body language was especially happy this morning. Her eyes darted over to the kitchen several times where I could hear Mr. Cake working to make the afternoon pastries, and she fairly sang with contentment. Their bond was strong and full of love, making me wonder at Mr. Cake's wandering eyes yesterday.
Remembering my original purpose in coming here, I asked, “Is Pinkie around? I wanted to talk to her.”
Mrs. Cake turned around with my order complete, and smiled the smile of someone with a terrific secret. She pointed over to a darkened corner (my personal favorite here in the shop, since it was so secluded) and said, “She's over there with a friend. I would recommend leaving them alone for now unless it's an emergency, though.”
Looking over, I was shocked to see our very own party pony at the corner table, with no pony less than Vinyl Scratch herself. They sat on opposite sides of the table, but were leaning close their hooves very close to one another's. Naturally, I couldn't hear what they were saying, but judging from the way Pinkie was blushing, it appeared to be something good.
Pinkie pushed up Vinyl's sunglasses, and they looked into each other's eyes. I could see their hooves just barely touching in a tantalizing way. They would brush against one another, only to pull away slightly, then caress the other, almost as if probing for reciprocal feelings. The interplay between them so sublime, I felt like a brash intruder just by watching them, but if I was going to understand anything about these... goggles , then I had to study it at every opportunity. How often would I have a chance at watching two ponies connect like this for the very first time?
I took my lunch to a table across the room, but still within sight of them and tried my best to watch without looking like I was watching. My surveillance tactics have vastly improved since I last attempted them on Pinkie (thank you, Spying for Dummies!), if I do say so myself. As part of my cover, I magically summoned an old research project I had set aside after reaching a major stumbling block, and acted like I was paying them no mind whatsoever. I was of course, too far to overhear, but I picked up some basic lip reading skills from that same book, and put them to the test here.
“You sure you want me there?” Pinkie asked.
Vinyl nodded and seemed very happy. “Yeah, I'm sure. You won't be bothering.” (or was that “be a bother”?)
Pinkie's goofy smile widened and she started to say something but it was partially obscured by her taking a drink of whatever she was drinking. I was able to make out the beginning though, when she said, “What time-”
With a shrug, Vinyl looked casual and noncommittal as she replied, “Anytime is fine,” but I could tell from the way her hoof was sensually but hesitantly caressing Pinkie's that she was nervous about messing up again. Wait, again ? Did I read that right? What could the supremely confident Vinyl Scratch have messed up that she would be this worried about a repeat? I was so surprised by this discovery, that I entirely missed what was said next, and was brought out of my speculation when I saw the DJ rise from her chair, saying, “See you then, Pinks. Be sure to bring only your partiest friends. Wallflowers and the posh would just make things awkward.”
My eyes dropped to the abandoned report before me, as I took a bite of my cinnamon roll, and was distracted by a sweet explosion of flavor in my mouth. I think I must have moaned a little, because Pinkie made her way over to me after walking Vinyl to the door. “Good morning, Twilight! Aren't those rolls just the most superdy duperdiest ever? I mean you bite into one, and it's like POW! It's a punch in the mouth with yummy!”
I licked my lips clean of the cream cheese frosting and cherry juice that had accumulated there when I ate almost half the roll without even noticing. I have to possess myself with better self-control than that. No telling when paparazzi will show up, even here in Ponyville, after all. I don't want a repeat of the hay fries incident back in Canterlot, not to mention trying to explain to Princess Celestia just how that deep fryer ended up attacking, and chasing that reporter across Canterlot, even if he did totally deserve it. Finding my voice again, I replied, “Morning, Pinkie. Having a good day?”
“You betcha!” she replied, taking a seat at my table. She helped herself to a sip from my cup, licking the whipped cream from her upper lip with relish. “I suppose you want to talk about Vinyl again, huh?”
Her sudden question caught me off guard, and I choked a bit on my latest bite of cinnamon roll. Washing it down with a swallow of my drink, I replied, “I- ahem. What do you mean, Pinkie?”
Tilting her head until it was upside-down and looking at me from below, she said in a sing-song voice, “You know what I mean. I saw you watching us from here. You really need to work on your sneaking, Twilight.”
Rearing back, I started to act like I didn't know what she was talking about, but my conscience got the better of me. “I'm sorry, Pinkie. I know I shouldn't have done that, but I can't help but worry about my friends. I want them to be happy and safe.”
Pinkie sat up right again and patted me on the head like a child. “It's okay, Twi-Twi. That's why I'm not really upset at you.”
I chuckled at her, wondering where she came up with these nicknames sometimes. “Well, I appreciate your understanding, and I'll try to to pry again like I did last night, so long as you don't call me that. It makes me sound like a stupid comedy relief character in a bad science-fiction movie prequel.”
“Okie dokie, lokie,” she replied happily.
Before I could stop myself, I asked, “Pinkie, I'm sorry I eavesdropped on you, but what did Vinyl say about a party?” I mentally facehoofed once the words were out. I truly had no intention of prying, but it seemed my mouth was operating on its own instructions.
Pinkie put a hoof on each of my shoulders and sighed. “Twilight, if you heard what she said about a party, then you know that it wouldn't be the kind of party you'd enjoy. I only say this for your own good, when I ask you to just forget about what you heard.”
Once more, my mouth and curiosity teamed up to hijack my body, and I said (rather indignantly, I'm sorry to add), “How do you know I won't like whatever kind of party it is? I like parties just fine. I go to yours all the time, and I've been to plenty of functions in Canterlot.”
Pinkie looked away nervously, a slight blush forming on her cheeks. “It's... not that kind of party, Twilight. Just trust me. You wouldn't like this one.”
To say that I was perplexed would have been an understatement, but worse than that, I felt... left out by one of my closest friends. All of a sudden, I was back in high school again, being excluded for being the youngest in my class and having The Princess for a mentor. I shook the absurd thought and feelings from my head, telling myself that Pinkie, no, make that none of my friends were like that, especially to me. “Alright, Pinkie, I believe you. I'll drop it.”
If Pinkie said that there was a reason I wouldn't like this party, then I trusted her enough to believe her. I just needed to peek in on this party for myself and see why it's not for me.
(\ /)
I finally made it back to the library after a rather productive day promoting the upcoming concert as well as a much more exclusive recital in the library I convinced the mayor to approve at the last moment. It was my hope that I could encourage some of the nouveau riche living here in Ponyville to help fund it in exchange for minor functions like this. With donations like that, I could greatly expand all the sections, maybe even open up a new one. I also had some rather interesting ideas from talking to the parents around town. I really couldn't wait to tell Spike about the Summer Reading Program I would be starting as well. Maybe he'd have some good ideas for prizes?
I walked in to find my assistant slumped against a bookcase, apparently exhausted. I certainly wasn't expecting my probing of the townsponies to work out quite this well! “Busy day, Spike?” I asked with a smirk.
He glared at me from his position on the floor, and a little plume of green fire was snorted from his nostrils in indignation. “I don't know what you did, but Ch- Miss Cheerilee came in here like a whirlwind, wanting to see our collection of foal's stories, biographies, and almost the entire reference section. Said she had some ideas for reports for the new school year and wanted to make sure we had enough books for all her students. If I even look at another encyclopedia today, my brain's gonna abandon ship and run off to the comic store!”
My little dragon. While he may act like he hates this, I know that deep down, he enjoys it almost as much as I do. Well, maybe not that much, but I know he doesn't hate it. Seeing as he faithfully executed his duties today, I felt that he deserved a special treat. I ruffled his head spines affectionately, and said, “It sounds like you had a busy day. How about we head over to Double Scoop's shop for some ice cream; my treat? If you fetch some of your gems, you can even sprinkle some on top.”
His eyes went wide enough to make me worry that they might fall out, but he was on his feet, quick as lightning. He ran upstairs so fast, I had to wonder if he even touched the ground at all, and was back before my mane had settled back into place. He showed me a small, purple velvet bag in one paw and said, “I'm ready! Let's go!”
“Easy, there. We haven't even had dinner, yet!” I replied. He looked so downcast, I couldn't help but add, “Alright. We can stop at Hay Burger for dinner, too.” I wanted him to know that taking care of your responsibilities gets you rewarded (even though later on, it's just something expected of you), and a treat like this seemed a good way to do that.
He must have agreed with me, because he pumped his little fist triumphantly. “Yes! Can I get a merry feast? They have the new Power Ponies toys in them!”
“Sure, Spike,” I answered with a smile. “Going to try for the Masked Matter-Horn?” He had been reading that comic for a while, and he always liked the Masked Matter-Horn. He often remarked how much she reminded him of myself.
“Nah. I was actually hoping they'd have a Radiance figure,” he replied. No doubt, his focus on the characters shifted when we moved to Ponyville and he met Rarity. They do seem rather similar, personality-wise. In any case, I was going to need some time to plan how I was going to reconnoiter this party of Pinkie and Vinyl's, and a nice, quiet dinner at Hay Burger while Spike played with his merry feast toy sounded ideal.
Author's Note
This is quickly getting complicated, isn't it? Funny thing is, I started noticing Twilight using unintentional double entendres throughout the story. Going through it, I noticed 25 myself all told, but then, I have a dirty mind. See if you can spot them all!
Twilight's Shipping Goggles
TWILIGHT'S SHIPPING GOGGLES
Chapter 3: Ribbon Party
We made it back home well before dark and I was surprised to find Ink Well waiting at my door as we walked up. She looked relieved, but still a little anxious as we approached, and came up to me. “There you are. I was worried that you had been called away by the princess or something. The mayor wanted me to tell you that since you would be official Ponyville business, she was lending you her personal train car. Just be at the station by six-thirty tomorrow morning, and they'll have it connected for you.” She looked surprised as if just remembering something, and pulled out two slips of paper from the clipboard she always carried with her, holding it out for me. “Oh, before I forget, be sure to show this to the conductor when you get there. You won't be able to get on otherwise.”
As I took the tickets from her, I noticed that she looked... embarrassed? Disconcerted? Ugh, this new... thing was becoming a real pain. I guess I need to brush up on my pony reading skills. In any case, I doubted she was feeling this way because she almost missed me, or forgot to give me something; her reactions were too... personal. Realizing that I hadn't said anything and the silence was starting to make me look like a dork, I replied, “Thanks, Ink Well. This will be really helpful. Be sure to thank the mayor for me if I miss her before I leave, would you?”
An ever so slight blush came to her cheeks, especially visible due to her white coat, and she looked a little uncomfortable again. I hadn't noticed it before, but Ink Well is rather cute when she blushes like that. She backed away from me a little, apparently looking to excuse herself. “I- I will. Thanks again for all your help with this project, Miss Twilight. I- ah, if you'll pardon me, I need to go over to Miss App- Applejack's stand for some last minute shopping.”
She was gone before I could even acknowledge her request (well, statement, really, but you know what I mean). The mayor sure does like to keep her busy. Well, it's her prerogative, and Ink Well's choice to suffer her whims. Still, I don't think that mare gets paid nearly enough for the work she does. I turned to Spike to find him with his new toys (yes, I got him two merry feasts so he could have a second Power Pony figure, this one a Masked Matter Horn), and realized that perhaps I spoil him a bit too much. I shrugged, dismissing the notion. After all, I won't be able to do this forever. Someday, he was going to grow up, and I was dreading when he hit his teens; mostly because I remember my own awkward teen years, but also because a dragon's teen years last much, much, much longer than a pony's.
I let us in, and as he walked up the stairs, not taking his eyes off his toys, I called out to him, “Spike, I'm going to do some research in my lab. I may be working late, so don't bother waiting up for me. Make sure I'm not disturbed unless it's an emergency, alright?”
Without even bothering to turn and look at me, the little tyke continued his trek up the stairs. “Hear that, Radiance? It'll just be the two of us! Oh, I hope the mayor of Maretropolis can live without us for one night,” he said to the white, plastic figure as he disappeared around the corner.
I smiled at his playful innocence. For a moment, I was jealous of him, and wanted very much to return to those simpler days of my youth, but I shook it off. As enjoyable as those days were, I much prefer the respect and looks of pride I get from Cel- Princess Celestia. I wouldn't trade that for anything.
With a wry chuckle, I made my way down to the basement to prepare for my evening of surveillance. Making sure I locked the door, I walked down to the lab and pulled my book of experimental spells down from the little bookshelf standing next to my desk. I knew the spell I wanted, and even though it was untested, the theory behind it was sound, and it was a fairly simple spell. This seemed like the perfect opportunity to try it out.
I was extra careful in forming the unfamiliar spell matrix in my mind. I didn't want this to get out of control, after all. The pathways built, I gently poured a carefully measured amount of æther into the pathway, marveling at how it filled the matrix, setting it and the spell into motion. Closing my eyes, I saw through an invisible, flying, magical sensor. It didn't see into any other spectra than visible light, and it was no more keen than my own normal vision (in fact, clarity seemed to be a real problem right now, as things got blurry fairly quickly farther out), but it could go places I couldn't, unseen. I tested it out by floating around the room, and almost got sick at the motion. Obviously, I was going to have to take it slow until I got used to the motion.
Satisfied that this would work for now, I directed it to float out of the basement through an open window, and sent it on to Sugarcube Corner. I only had to wait for about ten minutes before Pinkie walked out, waving goodbye to the Cakes. She seemed to be sporting a new cupcake-patterned ribbon in her mane. It was only then that I realized the flaw in my “perfect” spell: I couldn't hear anything through it. Ah well, back to the drawing board.
With no time to retool the spell, I opted to follow Pinkie as she walked down the street. She didn't appear to notice my sensor, but knowing her, I was taking no chances. I kept well above the ground and far enough away that even if she could see invisible, magical creations, she wouldn't think anything of a tiny thing so far away. Then again, this is Pinkie Pie we're talking about, so as an added precaution, I hid behind physical barriers whenever possible.
My caution seemed to pay off, as she never noticed me- er, that is, my sensor. Wow, this is starting to get confusing. In any case, I saw Rainbow meet up with her, and they stopped to chat. Couldn't Rainbow see I was in the middle of something? I would ask how she could be so inconsiderate, but- oh, wait. She doesn't know. I facehoofed, thankful that nopony was around to hear that. After a moment of chatting, the two of them walked off together down the road. Why are they still together? Why is Rainbow wearing that ridiculous blue ribbon with the Wonderbolts symbol embroidered on it in her mane? She never wears things like that. Isn't Pinkie going to Vinyl's special pa- oh.
So, she invited Rainbow, but specifically un invited me. Dark, gloomy thoughts took hold of me, souring my mood, but I quickly shook them off as inconsequential. Pull yourself together, filly! This is no time to mope! Science awaits! With a new resolve, I followed them, ducking behind roofs, signs, lampposts, whatever I could find. To be honest, I did feel a little bad about shadowing my friends, but I reminded myself that I was simply gathering information as to why this party would allegedly not be for me. I had considered the possibility that they were planning some sort of surprise for me, but I discounted that as ludicrous. Why would they call it a party if that was the case? Granted, this is Pinkie we're talking about, and she has been known to throw after-after-after-after parties, but a party-planning-party?
Now that I really thought about it, that seemed all too likely. I suddenly felt really foolish going to all these lengths behind Pinkie's back, especially if it proved to be some sort of surprise for me. I followed them until they came to Vinyl's house and they knocked on the door. I was about to dismiss the spell, when the door opened and they were greeted by the DJ, and they did something very odd. The unicorn floated a stovepipe hat out to them, and Pinkie And Rainbow pulled the ribbons from their manes and placed them into the hat. Vinyl then let them in and was about to close the door when the mayor approached.
I thought for sure that she was going to warn her to keep the music down or some such, but instead, she reached into her mane and pulled out a pink and white ribbon from it, and placed it in Vinyl's hat! What was the significance of the action? All thoughts of stopping my surveillance fled from my mind as my curiosity slipped into high gear. I simply must know what was going on! I sent my sensor closer, but it had reached its limit and winked out of existence.
I opened my eyes, blinking at the sudden intrusion of light after they had been closed for so long. I was about to cast the spell again when a sudden wave of nausea washed over me, and I was violently sick in the trashcan next to my desk. Wiping away the bile, I vanished the mess away to the sink and ran the water so I could wash out my mouth. It was several minutes before I could stand the taste in my mouth again and considered my options. That I was going to investigate was of no doubt, the only question that remained was how . After careful consideration, I knew that I was in no shape to use an invisibility spell; it was far too draining on what resources I had left. That left a camouflage spell, or a SEP field. While the camouflage spell provided concealment almost equal to invisibility, it was almost as taxing to maintain as well, whereas a SEP field costs next to nothing in æther to maintain, depending instead on other's preconception of not seeing you there. Decision made, I cast the spell that had helped me avoid bullies so often in my youth with an ease that told of a familiarity usually associated with specialists. What can I say? I was very good at avoiding both conflict and social interaction when I was younger.
I walked out of the library, the darkening evening helping even more to make me unnoticeable. Few ponies were still about at this hour, most being at home, eating dinner. I quickly trotted over to Vinyl's home, which was actually a converted carriage garage. As I approached, I was surprised at what I was hearing; or rather, what I wasn't hearing. The expected loud, thumping beat of “house” music was conspicuous in its absence. What kind of party thrown by Vinyl Scratch, DJ extraordinaire didn't include some oonce oonce oonce ?
Moving quietly, I walked up to a window and peeked in, but found it to be a poor choice. Apparently, Vinyl had closed the curtains. Never one to let such minor things inconvenience me, I tried another, only to find too was blocked by a closed curtain. I was starting to get frustrated as I moved to the backyard and hit upon a bit of luck. One of the windows' curtains wasn't closed entirely, letting me peek into the bottom floor (apparently, the whole bottom floor was built like a studio or nightclub, leaving the upper floor as living space). Inside were many of the townsponies I knew, as well as a few out-of-towners all gathered in front of a small stage set up at the stairs, where Vinyl held up the stovepipe hat, demanding their attention. Aside from Pinkie and Rainbow, I recognized Mayor Mare standing next to Golden Harvest, and sharing on a cocktail with Berry Punch, while the gardener talked to Love Tap (whom I only recognized since her son was often hanging around the Cutie Mark Crusaders). There were many others, but Vinyl waved the hat around, catching my attention, and ending my mental roll call.
“Alright, everypony! Time to choose your partners! Remember that there's no backsies, so who you get is who you're with. You can't all have me, after all,” she said, eliciting a few chuckles from her audience. This was passing strange. I was perplexed, but she continued speaking. “So, for all you newbies, just a quick rundown of the rules. I was serious about the no backsies thing. No trading for the first half-hour. After that, feel free to ask anypony that catches your fancy. If your partner says to stop, then stop. That's pretty much all, other than the “no talking about what goes on here” thing, but then, you all already knew that. Now, without further ado, let the choosing begin!”
Her horn lit up and two ribbons floated up, one pink with thin blue stripes, the other orange plaid. Vinyl grinned slyly. “Looks like our first pair is to be our drinks supplier Apple Cider, and the ever popular Aloe!”
The two ponies came forward and took the ribbons and kissed before walking off into the crowd. The act got a lot of whistles and catcalls, and took me off guard. I didn't even know they were dating. Wait, didn't Apple Cider live in Fillydelphia? Do they have some sort of long distance relationship? Further speculation was halted as Vinyl pulled two more ribbons out, one white and blue striped, the other obviously the mayor's. “The next lucky couple appears to be Caboose and the mayor! Mare, you lucky devil, make sure you leave some of him for the rest of us!” she said with a wink as she hoofed over the ribbons.
My confusion at her statement was completely destroyed as I saw the mayor reach under the large stallion's barrel to fondle his sheath! I saw the tip of his... his penis poke out only to be gently stroked by the mayor's hoof. This went on for a few seconds before the mayor brought her hoof to her mouth, and licked the drippings she had collected there. Honestly, I had never seen anything so... erotic in my life. I mean, the broad shouldered stallion must have been half her age, yet there she was leading him off by his... whoa, how does she do that without hurting him?
Vinyl watched the two of them go off somewhere to do Light knows what, then chuckled and pulled out two more ribbons. Two more ponies paired off, with similar shows of affection, but by this time, I had remembered to put my goggles on. I could see that almost none of them were really interested in their partners as anything more than somepony with whom they could... copulate, not create anything long term. How could this be? How could anypony... mate with a random pony without consideration for the future? It was just so... irresponsible !
As the ponies paired off, I noticed that Vinyl's horn lit up, and a song
Last to be pulled out of the hat was Pinkie's own ribbon, and Vinyl slyly smiled at her, saying something suggestive and lewd no doubt, but was covered up by the music playing. I was happy to note however, that they still seemed intensely interested in each other. Pinkie walked up almost casually and kissed Vinyl in a way that would curl my mane if somepony were to kiss me in a similar manner. Their moves were just so gentle and caring that I'm sure that anypony could tell what they meant to one another. It just confounded me that they would do this in so public a setting.
My view was blocked suddenly by a pony's face being pressed up against the window. I was so surprised, that I almost retreated into the shadows. It took me a moment to realize that the pony's face was Lotus from the spa Rarity frequents, because she was smashed up against the glass, distorting it. Whatever was happening to her, she was enjoying it, judging by her expression. Her eyes were unfocused and more than a little cross-eyed. Her tongue hung out to the side of a huge smile, and her breath was fogging up the glass pretty fierce. She was moving rhythmically, but something told me that she wasn't dancing.
The curtain moved to the side a bit, revealing Berry Punch behind her, matching her rhythm, hooves holding the spa pony's hips tightly. An odd, black belt was around her hips, and going by her expression, I would have guessed that she was actually a stallion and mating with Lotus; certainly all evidence was pointing that way. I wondered for half a second if she actually secretly was a stallion, but I remembered that she is one hundred percent mare. No stallion could imitate her hip wiggle (honest, it was just something I noticed; I'm not interested in her like that).
Lotus seemed to be having a hard time keeping her front half level, even with her face planted against the window and grabbed the curtain for balance, but only ended up pulling it down, crying out in pleasure (at least I think it was in pleasure; I've never seen someone in pain look so happy about it). She fell down to the floor, the curtain falling over her, but with her rear end still up in the air. Berry seemed to be having her own trouble, as something long, pink and slick with some liquid covering it popped up from between the- Oh. My. Light.
The long, pink, and flexible cylinder was attached to the black strap around Berry's waist, and was shaped exactly like... a... a stallion's... well, you know! “Dog gone it, Lotus! You made me pop out! I know you like my little friend here, but you don't have to lose your marbles within the first fifteen seconds, you know,” she grumbled as she tried to fit the... you know, back in... oh my. That's not even where a stallion's supposed to go... I... I had to get out of there. This was too much to take in all at once. I needed time to thingie- think ! I need time to think ! Space to breed- breathe ! Augh!
Heedless of potential discovery, I ran out of the yard on a blind trajectory, not even looking where I was going. I'm sure that I must have bumped into other ponies during my headlong flight, shattering the spell. I'm not sure how long I ran, but by the time I stopped (well, collapsed really), out of pure exhaustion, I looked around to find myself just outside of Applejack's orchard. I laid there just trying to catch my breath and not think about what I had just witnessed. After so many years, I had gotten pretty good about setting up distracting thought loops, and had managed to think about not thinking until my breathing resumed normal levels. I was almost scared out of my skin, when a voice in the dark said, “Twilight? Izzat you?”
Immediately, I was on my hooves and ready to bolt, when I saw Applejack leaning over her fence, one hoof pushing back her hat to get a better look in the gathering dark of night. With a hoof on my chest to calm my thundering heart, I gasped out, “Applejack? Is that you? What are you doing out this late?”
“Ah could ask y'all the same thing, but since yah asked first an' all, I'll tell yah I was settin' up some traps for vampire fruit bats. Now that y'all know that, what are yah doin' out here alone, at night?” she drawled.
I mentally facehoofed, wondering just what I was going to tell her. I couldn't reveal what had sent me running, but if I didn't say something soon, she would just suspect everything I said. Deciding to go with the honest approach that would reveal as little as possible, I replied, “Applejack, have you ever thought about...” I was unsure how to broach the subject, but I was committed, now.
“Thought about what, Sugarcube?”
Her prodding got me going again. “About having... you know... 'relations' with somepony for whom you felt nothing but physical attraction?” I even went so far as to make air quotes with my hooves as I said “relations” like it was something dirty.
She looked surprised at the topic, and looked away, blushing. My... “goggles” automatically slipped into place, and I could tell that there was definitely somepony for whom she felt a strong affection. Her eyes darted over to the town for a quick instant, but from this trajectory, it would be difficult to tell where exactly her eyes intended to go. She rubbed a hoof on the back of her head and said, “Um, Twi, Ah appreciate your feelin's and all, but y'all are more like a sister to me than-”
“Oh! Oh no, Applejack! I didn't meant you- I mean you're a great pony and all but I couldn't- You're like a sister to me, too! Er, I mean...” I just sorta trailed off in utter nervousness, but after a moment, we both burst out into giggles.
The tension released, Applejack asked, “What brings this up, Twi? Were yah thinkin' of maybe-”
“No!” I shouted. Immediately regretting it, and how guilty it made me look, I tried again in a gentler tone. “No. I was just wondering how a pony could do that sort of thing, you know? Let's say- just hypothetically, mind you- that I saw somepony offer another pony s- s- ssss-”
“Sex?” Applejack offered with a chuckle. I nodded, and she said, “It ain't a bad word, Sugarcube. It's the most natural thing in the world, matter o'fact. Ah must say, that Ah'm a bit surprised to find you of all ponies afraid of a word.”
Ashamed, but hurt, I replied, “I'm not afraid of it. I just... I'm not used to discussing a subject so intimate with others. I know that s- sss- sssex is natural and a good thing. Believe me, I had my mother and two princesses explain to me the facts of life; on separate occasions, of course, but believe me when I say that I know all about sssex's function and place in nature and society. I was just wondering how anypony could offer it so casually.” I breathed a sigh of relief once I had explained myself. It felt like a great weight had been lifted, once the words were out in the open like that.
The silence stretched on for what felt like an eternity, so I looked up to see what Applejack was doing. I was surprised to see her staring off into the night sky, a really odd expression on her face. I couldn't tell if she was angry, disappointed, happy, or just contemplative. The lack of light certainly wasn't helping matters any. After almost a further full minute of silence, she spoke up. “I can't speak for ever'pony, Twi, but if you combine the right ponies with the right situation, anythin' is possible. Sex... sex means somethin' different to ever'pony. To some, it's the ultimate expression of love; to others, just somethin' that feels good. Ah'm sure y'all could find a pony for everywhere in between, an' even a few things beyond that.” She doffed her hat, turning it around in her hooves by the brim; a nervous habit to cover an uncomfortable subject, to be sure. “How a pony feels 'bout sex is all tied up in what makes them who they are. Their experience, their upbringin', religion, it all shapes how they think about sex. 'Till y'all walk a kilotrot in a pony's shoes, judging their actions is just... well, it's just rude, if y'all pardon my sayin' so.”
Applejack's words hit me hard. Was I being judgmental? I hadn't thought I was, but then, I hadn't really thought much about it, period. I suppose that if you looked at it the right way, I was being judgmental, but I felt that I needed to explain myself to her. “Applejack, I wasn't trying to shame them into doing what I think is right or change the way they think; I'm just trying to understand why a pony would do that.” I leaned on the fence too, so that we were closer, and I could more easily see her face. “You may think me some sort of sheltered filly just come down from her ivory tower, and in a way, I suppose I am, but you need to understand that in my experience, there's only been two types of pairings, and those are arranged marriages, and the lucky few who were able to marry those they loved. I never even considered the possibility of just mating with somepony you don't love or to whom you aren't married. It's like asking a mole to understand the principles of aerodynamics; there's nothing to which the mole can correlate. I'm confused and curious, Applejack, not malicious.”
She patted my head gently, and in the back of my mind, I noted the way her powerful muscles rippled beneath her skin. Suddenly, I understood what Rarity meant when she talked about watching Big Mac from afar as he worked. There was certainly something enticing about- no! This is AJ we're talking about here! My most dependable and stalwart friend! Besides, there's somepony in whom she's already interested, and I refuse to stand in the way of that! Her voice pulled me from my ruminations as she said, “Aw, Sugarcube. I know you didn't mean anythin' by it, an' Ah didn't mean to imply it neither. Ah was just lettin' yah know that some folk'll take offense to questions parsed like that.”
“So you aren't mad or disappointed in me?” I asked, fearful of eliciting either emotion in her.
The farmpony pulled me in for a hug, patting me on the back. “'Course not, Twi!”
I sniffed a little, happy and secure in the comfort of her strong embrace. This close, I couldn't help but breathe in her scent, and there was definitely a strong tang of desire coming from her. I wondered at whom it was directed, since we had already established that we were off each other's list of potential mates. Maybe she was meeting somepony later on? I felt like I had already imposed on our friendship enough, but I couldn't resist getting in a little jab. “Either,” I said without preamble.
She pulled back enough to look me in the eye and ask, “Beg pardon?”
“You said, 'I didn't mean to imply it neither.' It should have been either,” I replied with a smile.
With a bark of laughter, she let me go and lightly punched my shoulder (I could tell I would have a bruise there tomorrow; I sometimes wondered if she even knew her own strength). “Alright, either y'all go do what yah need and let me get back to work, or neither of us'll be in fit shape come mornin'.”
I laughed and said, “Alright. Goodnight, Applejack. I'll see you when Spike and I get back from Canterlot.” I waved goodbye to her and turned to trot back up the road towards home once more, my mind no less confused. I was baffled by the notion that a pony could do something so intimate so casually, but Applejack didn't seem to hold it in any sort of contempt. Maybe I should just file this away as something to ask Cady about? I'd never think to append such an act to her, but she is more knowledgeable about this, not to mention more experienced in the many facets of love. With a sigh, I put the issue on my mental list of things to put in the letter when I have a moment. Right now, I had to get some sleep so that I would be able to get to the train station in time tomorrow.
(\ /)
Spike and I were on the platform by six o'clock the next morning. It's always been my policy to be early for all appointments when possible, just in case. Granted, it sometimes takes a toll on Spike, and more often than not, we end up just waiting out the clock, but I have been too often rewarded for my foresight with the appointment being bumped up, leaving myself with extra free time. This time, like the vast majority of the times, Spike and I were waiting for the train to arrive so that the car could be attached. At the very least, we had already sorted out our seating with the ticket master.
Spike had stayed up late, playing with his new toys, despite my warning that we were getting up early for our trip, so he was making a valiant attempt to stave off the Sandpony. I was helping in that respect by playing a version of a Neighponese word game called shiritori with him. I gave a word, and he had to come up with a word that began with the last letter in my word, as long as it didn't end with “N”. Then I would have to build off of his word, and we traded off until one of use used a word ending in “N”. Needless to say, it was trickier than it sounded, and there were other, minor rules (like using only nouns), but I was currently the winner at one to six.
My assistant looked up at the roof over the platform as he thought about his next reply. “Um... Annex?”
“Ooo... someone's in rare form today, Spike,” I replied. I let him have a moment of victory, before crushing his spirit. “Xenology.”
He grumbled and almost threw his cheese danish (we had stopped by Sugarcube Corner for a quick take-out breakfast) on the ground in frustration. “It's not fun playing this game with someone who reads the dictionary to relax.”
I gave him a quick nuzzle which he accepted before he realized what he was doing and tried to look nonchalant about it. “Sorry, Spike. I'm just trying to keep you awake until the train gets here. Once we're on board, you can take a nap. I just hope you'll do as I say next time and go to bed when I say.”
A loud whistle down the tracks alerted us to said train's imminent arrival. I looked up at the clock hanging from the rafters, noting the time. “Hmm... Ten minutes early. That bodes well for our trip,” I said happily. Once more, my habit had borne fruit.
The train pulled into the station, disgorging a few passengers, then uncoupled the engine so that the new car could be added. Spike and I went to the side so that we could see the action taking place on the spur. The team moved quickly and efficiently (I would have to remember to buy something nice for the crew as a thank you for their trouble), and it wasn't long before the train was whole once more and awaiting new passengers. With the car was added to the line, Spike and I boarded, and took in the opulence of the private car. While it was nothing compared to the Princess' private train (not just a single car for her!), it was certainly better than riding coach. The decorations certainly had a sort of rustic lavishness that you wouldn't find in most passenger cars.
Spike immediately took possession of the largest couch and stretched out as far as he could. I had to smile at him as I walked over to a wingback chair, laid my saddlebag down next to it and took out a psychology book, opening it to where I left off. Honestly, reading in these chairs always made me feel like I should be wearing a smoking jacket and holding a snifter of brandy in one hoof, but not only was it too early for libations, I really didn't care for brandy.
As I settled in for a good read, the train pulled out of the train station, and we were finally on our way to Canterlot, but I was distracted by the events of last night. I didn't see Pinkie Pie while I was at the bakery (she was far too busy in the kitchen), and to be truthful, I wasn't sure if I could face her after what I saw. It wasn't that I thought she had done something wrong, but I just don't think I'll ever be able to look at her or any of my friends the same way. Overnight, I had come to the realization that they had a sexual side to them. This was big. It was like discovering that my parents- Augh! Great. Just when I thought I had buried that memory forever. This is going to be another looonnng adjustment period.
Author's Note
You know something I've noticed? I tend to write very differently when I do it in first person. Longer paragraphs, asides everywhere, among other things. It really blurs the line between when I'm showing and when I'm telling. Maybe it's okay, since I'm telling it from a character's perspective (which in itself is another big change; no third person omniscience allowed!), but it's still something that concerns me.
On another note, I wanted to go more in depth with the sex, but didn't really see Twilight sticking around for the show. A pity.
Twilight's Shipping Goggles
TWILIGHT'S SHIPPING GOGGLES
Chapter 4: Princess Talk
The train ride itself was fairly uneventful, with Spike waking only once to have a proper breakfast. I pored through my book, trying harder to retain the knowledge it was imparting upon me than the first half dozen times I read it for recreation. While fascinating, psychology had also been one of those fields of study where the lack of hard absolutes annoyed me. If X didn't always equal X, but was subject to interpretation, then how could you really get anywhere? To me, it had always been more of a philosophy than a hard science, but who am I to try to redefine meanings?
We pulled into Canterlot, to find a pair of guards waiting to escort us to the palace. Unusual to be sure, but not exactly unheard of, when The Princess had some important business to discuss. I was going to see her first anyway, since neither of my parents would be home from work yet, but this development was curious. They walked up to me and saluted, which I returned with a nod. Not truly being within their chain of command (or even holding any military or true noble rank), I knew better than to salute, myself. Besides, I wore no “cover” as they referred to all headgear. The higher ranking of the two said, “Lady Twilight Sparkle, I bring you greetings from Princess Celestia, and a request for a moment of your time.”
I of course, recognized him (The Princess would never send a pony whom I didn't know) and replied, “It would be a pleasure, Lieutenant Clean Slate. If you would give me a moment to consult with the stationmaster, I need to discuss with him the disposition of the mayor's private car so it's well cared for, and ready for my departure in a few days.”
“If it pleases Milady,” Clean Slate said punctiliously, “Lance Corporal High Justice here will see to that.” He nodded to indicate the stallion next to him, whom I didn't recognize, and was staring straight ahead.
Whatever it was Princess Celestia wanted, it must have been fairly important if I didn't even have the time for that! Not wanting to waste anypony's time, I said, “Very well, Lieutenant. Lead on, and we'll leave the car in the corporal's capable hooves.”
He led Spike and I from the hustle and bustle of the crowded station and through the even more crowded streets where a carriage awaited. Stamped with the royal crest, nopony would dare stop or attack it, lest they incur the wrath of the Princesses. Bit by bit, my worry was mounting as I saw just how much Princess Celestia wanted to speak to me. I just hoped that this was not some world-shattering disaster, as I believe I had filled my quota on those for the year.
Spike bounced on the plush, velvet seat next to me, enjoying the novelty of the mode of transport. While the amenities of the much smaller carriage put those of the mayor's personal car to shame, worry plucked at the back of my mind, preventing me from enjoying as much as he was.
We arrived in front of the palace in what must have been record time for me, but I didn't even notice the passage of time. As soon as my hooves touched the ground, Spike and I were whisked away at a brisk pace to Princess Celestia's private courtyard garden. She was already there, of course, sipping tea with Princess Luna. Neither of them appeared too grim, so I let a little of the tension I was feeling fly free. As we approached, Clean Slate announced in a clear voice, "Lady Twilight Sparkle and Sir Spike, Your Highnesses.” He bowed low, then stepped away as we came forward.
“Thank you Lieutenant,” Princess Celestia said in her rich, contralto voice. I shivered a little as she said this. The way she always pronounced “lieutenant” as “leftenant” put me in a mind of older, more genteel times. Turning to me, she said, “Welcome back, my Faithful Student. A pleasure to see you again, as always. We were about to have lunch. Would you like something?” At the mere mention of offered food, my traitorous stomach (which had failed to be fed on the ride over in favor of finishing my book) let its opinion on the matter be heard, and everyone chuckled. “I'll take that as a yes.”
I took the offered seat next to her, and I grinned shyly up at her. “Thank you, Princess. Just a small fruit bowl and salad, please.”
Spike climbed into his chair (one with much higher legs so as to accommodate his shorter stature) and said, “Ooo! Can I get a gem salad, Twilight? The chef makes the best gem salads.”
I glowered at him, and he returned a sheepish grin. “A small one,” I conceded. “You're getting a little too... rotund to be splurging like this all the time, Spike.”
He patted his belly as he looked down on it. Surely, he could see it now that I pointed it out to him. Princess Luna nodded in agreement. “Indeed, young Spike. It would not do to overindulge in the good things in life. It breeds indolence.”
I know she meant it innocently, and there was absolutely no way she could have known what I saw last night, but her mention of breeding brought it all back to mind, as well as a blush to my cheeks. I just hoped both Princesses missed it. “Erm, yes.” Turning to Princess Celestia, I asked, “To what do we owe the pleasure of an escorted invitation, Princess?”
She gave me a sad little smile that went straight to my heart like an icicle. “Twilight, please. I thought I told you, just Celestia is fine when we're in private. We've known one another long enough to drop the formalities then, at least.”
“Aye- I mean, yes, Twilight. I too, must insist on no titles in informal gatherings such as these. It would wound me so, to think that we hath not earned at least that much friendship,” Pri- Luna added.
With a sheepish grin to them both, I replied, “My apologies, C- Celestia, Luna.” Though we had agreed to this what felt like ages ago, it still felt odd to me. “After using the titles in everyday conversations with other ponies, it's a hard habit to break. I'll do better to remember.”
Conversation halted as food was brought out to us, despite nopony asking what we wanted. A light salad was placed to one side, while on the other was a bowl of fruit sprinkled with sugared rose petals. Spike's bowl of gem salad was a bit larger than I would have preferred, but said nothing as it was more salad than gems. We ate in companionable silence, just enjoying the cool breeze bringing the scent of the flowers that permeated the cozy space. It was interesting to see that Luna still ate in the old manner, eschewing utensils in favor of just dipping her face into the bowl. Somehow, she still made it seem lady-like.
I looked over to P- Celestia and noted that she still ate as I had always known her to eat- with a fork held in her magic. It always amazed me with the amount of grace she could instil with such a simple and mundane act as eating. Truly, she is the epitome of poise and charm. If only I could have even a tenth- no, a hundredth of that, I would be a better pony, much more well liked, despite my many flaws. There was just so much to admire about her. Her composure in the face of adversity, her power, both magical and political, her beauty... Why was she looking at me like that? Wait, was I staring again? Ooh, roadapples.
“Are you feeling well, Twilight Sparkle?” Luna asked quietly.
I looked over to see that she was watching me with concern, while Spike just continued with his meal, and Celestia peered at me, not with concern, but with a little curiosity and... I shook my head. I shouldn't read things into that. That slight tint of pink on her cheeks had to have been from embarrassment. Yes, that's what it was. Surely nothing else. Returning my attention to Luna, I said, “Yes, I'm fine, Luna. Just thinking about a new project I'm starting.”
Her expression brightened, and she said, “Oh? It wouldn't happen to have anything to do with-”
“Why don't the three of us discuss it after lunch, Luna?” Celestia thankfully interrupted. “We wouldn't want to bore Spike with the details of Twilight's new sociology study.”
Wait, when did she learn of it? The only pony I discussed it with was... Cadance. I was going to give her an earful when I saw her again about respecting others' privacy. But in the meantime, damage control first. I definitely don't want Spike's impressionable young mind warped by the things I'm sure to encounter in pursuit of this study. “A splendid idea. Spike wanted to spend the bits that had been burning a hole in his pocket at the comic shops, so there will be no danger of that.” I knew that few things bored Spike like sociology (tax law and mathematics being the only ones that beat it out), so I latched onto the life preserver I had so graciously been thrown.
Spike's eyes widened, and he started shoveling his salad into his mouth as fast as he could chew. He was done in record time and hopped off his seat to run around to my side and looked up at me. “Is it okay, really?”
I produced his bag of allowance with a flash and lowered it to him, but did not let go when he took possession of it. “I want you to take Lieutenant Clean Slate with you, and if I found out you spent all this on gems and ate them all, I'll be very upset with you, Spike. Applejack chores upset.”
He gulped, but nodded and soberly walked off with the trusted lieutenant. With that done, I turned back to my lunch to find that it was already gone. I didn't recall eating it all, but my tummy was satisfyingly full, and the bowls were as clean as if they had been licked. The Princesses' were empty as well, and they were even dabbing at their lips with napkins, so I followed suit and pushed myself away from the table.
By unspoken accord, we walked to The Prin- Celestia's Study, the place where I used to take most of my book lessons from her. It had changed only slightly since I had last been in the sumptuous office, the biggest changes being the addition of two new pictures on her desk, one of her and Luna together, eating ice cream in a park, and the other being the picture I sent her of myself with my Ponyville friends. I was quite flattered to see that it held a place of honor next to the picture of her sister. Celestia took a seat on the couch facing the fireplace and patted the seat in front of her, indicating I should take it. It was something we used to do a lot, especially when I was younger, and the chance to do so again was not something to be turned down. I laid down with my forelegs crossing hers, and was surprised when Luna also laid on the couch behind me, letting her forelegs go to either side of my body. Surprisingly, all three of us just barely fit on it, though I wouldn't place odds on the couch surviving if we moved around too much. Oddly, it didn't feel crowded at all, but... homey. Seated between one of my newest (and one of my closest) friends, and my oldest (and most admired, if truth be told) was cozier than expected. If contentment were something tangible, this would be very close to it. With a sigh, I opened the can of worms we had come here to discuss. “So, when did Cady tell you?”
Celestia smiled coyly. “The moment your train left the Crystal Empire, actually. She was quite excited. Said you even gave her relationship advice... good relationship advice, as it turned out. I hear from the guards there that the Prince-Consort hasn't once stopped by the barracks for a bull session since you left.”
“Well, some pony had to say something. I love Shiny to death, but I swear that colt has rocks for brains, sometimes,” I answered simply.
“And you art avoiding the issue, dear Twilight,” Luna said, attracting my attention from behind.
I sighed again, knowing that I could no longer delay the inevitable. “Yes, I know. I just... I just have so many questions about this, and then something really weird happened last night, making me realize that I had been ignoring an entire side to my friends- well, not just my friends, but everypony . Worse still, I had been ignoring an entire side to my study of friendship itself and I-”
Celestia silenced my rant with a hoof to my lips, and smirked at me. I always hated that look. It meant that I had finally realized something that should really have been obvious from the start. It's not that I hated The Pri- Celestia doing that, so much as it represented a failing on my part. “Why don't you start from the beginning, Twilight?”
So with some reluctance, I did so. I was tempted to leave out the events I had witnessed at Vinyl's party, but I knew that not only would Celestia eventually would get it out of me (she had a way of doing that, and it frustrated me at times), but if I really wanted their help, they had to know all the particulars of what was troubling me. Having finished telling them what Applejack and I had discussed, as well as the revelations I had afterward, I said, “And that brings us up to here.” I looked up at her face with more than a little trepidation, worried that she might say I had gone too far, or done something to disappoint her.
Instead of the dreaded scowl, she wore a thoughtful expression, laced with a slight blush, no doubt due to my rather graphic description of the party. However, it was Luna who broke the silence. “Are such 'ribbon parties' common amongst the ponies these days? I must admit, that I had thought such things had fallen out of favor with the populous of late.”
Celestia smiled at her sister indulgently. “While I have not been 'in the know' with the actions of the common pony for several centuries, I don't believe that these sorts of gatherings are all that typical, else they would not feel the need to keep it from the public eye.” She turned back to me and asked, “Tell me, Twilight; what is truly the thing about this that is bothering you?”
I carefully considered my feelings, before even attempting to give her an answer. While she never berated me for taking my time to answer, she always had a cutting remark ready for a ready, facile reply. What was really bothering me about this? Was it the fact that they were treating such a glorious (presumably, since I had never ah, partaken, myself) act as if it were nothing more than a pressure release? While it may have been a contributing factor, I doubt it was at the root of my feelings here. Was it jealousy that they were so far ahead of me in something that was tangentially related to something I studied so assiduously? Perhaps. I had always been a highly competitive academe, and always felt a little disappointed in my accomplishments whenever somepony performed better than myself. This was especially true with ponies that I felt were less studious or didn't take their academics seriously enough. Was it that I had never even considered the possibility before? I doubted it. As Celestia was often fond of saying, you never know what you don't know.
I'm not sure how long I had been laying there, ruminating over my dilemma, when Celestia interrupted my thoughts by asking, “Is it perhaps anger at being excluded from a portion of your friends' lives?”
“Well, that's just...” I really examined what she said instead of reacting, and was surprised. I was upset at being excluded, not just from learning about that aspect of their lives, but also at their not asking about mine. Granted, I had no romantic life of which to speak, but didn't mean that I didn't want to be involved with theirs and help how I could. I had heard that ponies often bond over stories of their love lives, and I had never even once thought to do that! Wait, is this their fault or mine ?
“Twilight, it's not really anypony's fault. It is likely that they never thought to include you, because you've never shown an interest in such things, and you never thought of it, because it never occurred to you that perhaps romanticism is another aspect to friendship,” Celestia said soothingly.
She's such an amazing pony. She knows me so well, that she can tell exactly what I'm thinking, just by watching my face. I smiled tremulously at her, and saw the pride on her face over my realization. She hadn't been so proud of one of her students in- wait! Was I just using the goggles on her? Celestia? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, NO! I can't! Not on her! Never... I looked away, and took a deep breath... several, really, and didn't look at her again until I had myself under control.
“Are you sure you art feeling well, Twilight?” Luna asked.
I had almost forgotten she was there, but a hug from behind and her inquiry into my health reminded me. I turned and gave her an apologetic smile. “Sorry, Luna. Just had a sudden panic attack due to what I was thinking about my friends.” As somepony dedicated to seeking the truth, I despised fibbing, but there was no way I could tell them I had just used my... thingie on Celestia. The situation was awkward enough as is. This actually brought to mind a distracting subject, so I asked, “What do you two think of what Cadance calls this... ability? Surely we could come up with a better name, or is there perhaps an old, disused name that might not sound so absurd? I feel silly calling it Shipping Goggles.”
Luna put a hoof to her chin in thought and replied, “I believe the term for it in the time before my banishment, it was marriage broker.”
I turned back to Celestia, desperate for a reprieve. “We've got to come up with a better name for it! Even if it's not scientific, at least make it something that doesn't sound so silly.”
“Honestly, Twilight. It's probably one of the better names I've ever come across; much more benign than most I've heard,” Celestia replied.
I tried to ignore Luna's muttered, “I thought it was a good name.”
With a sigh, I admitted defeat. “I suppose so. It is better than 'Busybody' or 'Nosy Nelly'.”
Celestia smiled and laid one of her hooves over mine, almost like weaving them together. “Now that that's settled, how are you going to proceed, my Faithful Student?”
Just hearing her call me that immediately set my mind working. One of these days, I'd have to ask her how she always knew just what to say to make things right within my mind. “I suppose I'll have to begin with setting up a method to this study, if I'm going to make a real go of it. Define my goal and procedures.” I was really in my element (so to speak) now that I had been set down the right path. I floated a blank scroll as well as a quill and pot of ink from my mentor's desk to sketch the outline. She had long ago established that as long as I stayed out of the locked drawers, I was welcome to help myself to her desk supplies as needed. I worked fairly quickly, and soon had the bare bones of a study paper written out within just a few minutes.
“Sooth! Thy- your student is most efficient, 'Tia,” Luna declared rather loudly in my ear, since she was leaning over my shoulder, watching me work. Despite the ringing in my ear, I giggled at her use of the affectionate nickname for her sister.
“She always has been, Lulu,” she replied, making me blush at her praise.
Luna smiled at her, still leaning over me (resting atop me, if truth be known). “She would make a glorious major domo.”
Celestia nuzzled my cheek, causing my already heated blush to spread all the way down my neck. “I think she's destined for much greater things, Lulu.”
I reveled in the feeling once again that had been denied me ever since coming out from under her wing. If there was one thing that I regretted leaving behind when I moved to Ponyville, it was this closeness to the pony I admire most. I would have to find some way to remedy this.
(\ /)
Spike was still out at his favorite haunts when I felt the need to excuse myself so I wouldn't be late for my appointed visit with Octavia. While I wouldn't say that her schedule was as strict as Celestia's, she still kept herself to a rather rigid timetable of events; though with good reason. A pony in as much demand as she had to manage their time carefully. While this meant that we could not get together as often as we might like, at least we knew when we would be getting together. We had only canceled once, when I was first sent to the Crystal Empire to help combat the threat of Sombra; which was a sad moment for the both of us.
As I approached her home, I saw the windows open, and the strains of Vivid Alder's Winter were wafting from them like an entrancing lure. It wasn't quite winter yet; indeed, autumn was still making a rather spectacular go of it. Perhaps she was getting a head start on the season? In any case, I knew we were in for a fun visit; we always were when she put Vivid Alder on the phonograph. I peeked in through one of the windows before knocking, and wasn't surprised at all to find her playing a violin along with the record. She may be most well-known for her skill with the cello, but that was hardly the extent of her talent.
I knocked, listening to the sudden screech of a violin missing a note, followed quickly by the door opening. Octavia smiled and stood to the side, inviting me in. “Twilight, it is ever so good to see you again.” We hugged, which some might see as unusual for the both of us, being introverts, but it was our standard greeting since before graduating. “How has my favorite grade-skipper been?”
“As well as can be expected,” I replied with a wide grin. “How's my favorite musical overachiever been?”
“Likewise. Come in, the tea has just finished steeping.” She led me into her parlor (she refused to call it a living room) where the phonograph continued it's lovely song.
I looked around, taking in the many paintings she had hanging on her walls and noticed something amiss. “What happened to the Moray? I thought you loved that painting?”
A twinkle formed in her eye and she grinned at me over her cup of tea. “I knew you would notice right away. I lent it to the Canterlot Museum of Art on the condition that they sponsor one tour for underprivileged foals for every week that it is there. Since I possess the only painting by one of the great impressionists in Canterlot and am willing to lend it under certain circumstances, they agreed rather quickly.”
This was one of the things that bonded us as friends in high school. While she would always champion and lead projects like this for the arts, I often (ab)used my position with Celestia to do the same for the sciences. I can't even count the number of times we accidentally met while out setting up an expo of some sort and ended up working together on each other's pet projects to bring enlightenment/culture to the masses. An exaggeration, true, but I'll never forget the Classical music / Science Lesson flash mob we arranged. I had soda in places soda had no business being, all because somepony forgot their raincoat (okay, it was me). How could I not befriend a pony after that? Sure, there were some other nice ponies in her group, but I never really clicked with them. They always seemed a little less than genuine, and as far as I know, none of them are still out doing things like that for the less fortunate.
“Ooo, sounds interesting. That actually brings to mind something the mayor of Ponyville wanted me to ask you, actually.” I outlined the proposal, and was happy to note that that she did seem interested. While we were getting down to brass tacks, my blasted curiosity got the better of me once more, and I started really looking at her with my (ugh, fine) Shipping Goggles. What I saw made me so sad. Although she put up a brave front, I could tell that she was terribly lonely. It looked like there was a pony with whom she wanted to be, but had given up hope. This was terrible! Such unrequited feelings could tear up a pony inside, and I should know!
I knew I had to do something to help one of the few ponies from my childhood I called friend. Being careful to be as circumspect as possible, I began interjecting questions that might help me establish just who had broken Octavia's heart. “So, do you think the orchestra will play? The mayor can't offer a big discretionary fund, and Ponyville doesn't exactly have a large population of classical music lovers.”
Octavia put a hoof to her chin as she considered. “Hmm... I may have to dip into personal funds to pay for them, but I think I can convince about half of them to show. The only real problem shall be with the percussionists. Some of them have side bands and are really territorial, believe it or not. I cannot say I really blame them for the latter, considering how heavy those drums can be especially when you take into account how far they shall need to carry them.”
“Has anypony been especially troublesome, though? Not necessarily about charity events like this, but in general? You look a bit... distraught, Octavia.” I bit my lip, wondering if I had prodded too far. While I wasn't worried that she would throw me out or stop being my friend, I was concerned over ruining any chance I had at helping her. Blast this Light forsaken inexperience!
She looked at me curiously, but with the way her eyes darted up and to the left, I could tell she was about to give me some sort of false platitude or another. She licked her lips, obviously nervous either at being outed, or... was it something else? For some reason, chalk it up to callowness, it was especially difficult to interpret the signals she was giving me. “F- forgive me, but I'm not sure what you mean, Twilight. I'm not distraught.”
I knew it! She almost never used contractions, let alone twice in the same sentence; a holdover from her youthful days when her parents had hired a manners tutor. I laid a hoof on her knee. She looked almost ready to bolt, but I kept it there, reminding her that I would always be there for her. “Octavia, it's alright. You can talk to me about this. What are friends for, if not to lean on when you need a hoof?”
She looked away, her cheeks turning a shade darker. “I- it doesn't matter anymore, Twilight. She... she does not want me the way I want her. I made peace with that long ago. Please. Let it be.”
It broke my heart to see her reach these depths, but I knew that if I was going to help, it would have to be with foal steps. Just getting her to admit it was a huge start, so no sense driving a wedge between us. I leaned over and gave her a hug. It took a few seconds for it to be reciprocated, but it was. “I'm sorry for intruding, Octavia. I just want to see you happy.”
She pulled back and wiped away a tear, but was smiling. “I know, Twilight. You are really the only friend I have that would want to do that for me. Truth be told, You are the only friend I would want to intercede so.”
“Well, you know that I'm always here for you, should you need a friend again, Octavia,” I replied. I knew I had my work cut out for me with her. Light bless her, but Octavia was about as stubborn as Applejack. While it could be endearing, it made things terribly difficult at times. Still, for her, I would move mountains... literally.
(\ /)
I nodded to the family's groundskeeper as I walked past the open gate to my parent's house. They had made a point of almost never closing it during the day as a sign of trust with the less fortunate ponies. That, along with their many charitable works (each member of the family was expected to have at least one charity they always sponsored by the time they graduated high school), may not make them too popular amongst the “upper crust” of society whom looked down their noses at us, but nopony could deny that we followed the path of noblesse oblige . Sorry. That sounded terribly prideful, but if one is going to be proud of something, I suppose one could do worse than their charity.
In any case, I walked in, passing the den to hear Spike telling my parents about a movie he had recently seen. I kind of figured he'd go to the theater while we were here, and could hardly begrudge him that, seeing as Ponyville's showed mostly older movies in black and white, and never any new releases. Instead of heading up to my room to freshen up. I instead walked into the den, smiling at Spike who was demonstrating how Saddle Rager leaped down from above and smashed a villain's device by leaping from the couch to the floor. Mom and Daddy were watching him with expressions similar to the one I wear sometimes when he still indulges his childish side.
I walked over to them and kissed them each on the cheek, receiving one from each in return. “I hope you didn't fill up on popcorn, Spike. Dinner will be soon, judging by the delicious smells coming from the kitchen.”
“How was your visits with the princesses and your friend, dear?” Daddy asked, slyly trying to divert my attention away from Spike. I swear, they treat him like their grandson, and while it's fantastic they bonded with him like that, but it was frustrating having what little authority I exercised over him undermined, even if it was done in love.
“Productive and delightful, Daddy,” I replied. “I'm afraid I can't really discuss my new project, but both Princesses were very helpful, and I can't wait for my appointment with them tomorrow, even if it is just to discuss the progress in the Crystal Empire. Oh, Cady and Shiny send their love, by the way. That, and a formal request for the Royal Archivist to help update their library, and the Royal Astronomer to help update their astronomy program. It has almost been a thousand years, after all.” I took two scroll from my dimensional pocket and floated them over to them.
Mom took the scrolls and smiled. “Aw, isn't that sweet of them to give us official reasons to visit? We'll have to thank them by getting them to start thinking of grandfoals- I mean, an heir.”
“We know what you meant, Mom,” I quipped, shaking my head. This was going to be an interesting, if not amusing visit, as long as I can keep my Shipping Goggles turned off around my parents and The Princesses.
Author's Note
Man, it is so easy to slip accidental innuendo into Twilight's words! Seriously, there were one or two where I thought, "No way they can miss this one!" And I'm not even doing it on purpose!
Twilight's Shipping Goggles
Chapter 5: A Night at the Movies
TWILIGHT'S SHIPPING GOGGLES
Chapter 5: A Night at the Movies
I was truly in my element, here. Er, metaphorically speaking, that is. I keep forgetting that I bear the Element of Magic, and fall back on these old aphorisms that take on new meanings, especially in light of my newer responsibilities. In any case, I was finally giving my presentation to the Ministry of Foreign Affairs about the reconstruction and recovery of the Crystal Empire. Without somepony to tell them what exactly was needed and where, the poor crystal ponies were not likely to receive the aid they so desperately needed to get back on their hooves.
I directed everypony's attention to the chart I had made, indicating the projected agricultural growth for the empire with a pointer held in my magical grasp, noting which crops would need longer to recover from the mysterious exile. “As you can see here, while their hardier, orchard plants such as the fruit and nut bearing trees are still healthy enough, the crops needing replanting every season are going to require several years to recover on their own due to most of them dying before they could be harvested. What seeds they still have and what they can harvest from their trees will only sustain approximately 32% of the population for the foreseeable future."
I looked out to the audience to see if there were any questions, and was dismayed to see that of those ponies in the borrowed auditorium that were not asleep, most were not paying attention, or had glazed looks to their faces. Why, prince Blueblood was hitting on one of the pages serving drinks. I didn't need my Shipping Goggles to see that he wasn't interested in anything permanent, but she obviously was taken in by his charming smile, and his title. With a grumble, I levitated the large tax code book on the wheeled trolley next to me, and dropped it flat to the floor with an alarmingly loud WHAM. I hadn't expected the acoustics to be quite this good, making the noise as loud as a cannon shot, and jumped a little, myself.
The dozing ponies leaped up in their seats as if shocked in their rears by a ten thousand volt current. I smiled to note that several of the ponies not paying attention had ducked behind the seats in front of them, including Blueblood. The only one to not react adversely to my tactic was Princess Celestia, whom was watching my presentation with some amusement. She smirked at me and nodded her approval. Luna was still sleeping after a long night of court and administrative duties, and Celestia's presence wasn't specifically required, but just knowing she was here, watching me was both a balm and a source of anxiety to my already jangled nerves. Just knowing that she was in my corner was a comfort, but I worried about messing up and making myself look stupid in front of her.
“Now that I once more have your attention, Let's move on to the Crystal Empire's horribly outdated school system.” A quiet chorus of groans met my statement, making me wish I could just spring a pop quiz on them. How does Celestia and Luna deal with this level of apathy day in and day out?
A pink hoof so light it would be understandable if the viewer thought it to be white rose into the air, and its owner asked, “Excuse me, Twilight? It's well past noon, and most of us didn't have time for breakfast. Might I suggest we adjourn here for an hour or so?”
I was surprised not only by the question, but also the lateness of the hour. I glanced out the window, noting that the sun had indeed risen well above it, casting almost no direct light through it. We had gotten through over half my report, and this was a good stopping point, so I relented. “Very well, Your Highness. Let's meet back here in an hour, everypony. That means you're in your seat by then, not walking back, ponies.”
I shuffled through my notes, putting my used ones back into the index card case, in a vain effort to ignore the grumbling from my captive audience. Honestly, is it too much to ask our government officials to do their jobs? As I was deciding which to keep out in the unlikely event one of them had a question and I needed to reference a fact, a pony cleared her throat next to me, almost startling me into dropping my cards. Looking across the lectern, I saw Celestia once more, standing on the stage with me.
“An excellent presentation, my Faithful Student; most informative. Perhaps we can discuss your performance so far, say, over lunch?”
She looked hopeful, and it was rather refreshing to have somepony actually interested in my work; if that pony was the one who had assigned it in the first place. But, then I remembered where I was planning on going for lunch. “I'd love to, Princess, but I was just planning to visit the pretzel cart on the corner, so I could be sure to be back in time to continue my presentation.”
She laid a hoof on mine, closing my index card box. “That's hardly a proper meal, Twilight. Come, I have reservations at El Montaña del Oro. It's just around the corner, so we'll be back before you know it.”
Apparently, she wasn't taking no for an answer, and led/dragged me out of the auditorium. It wasn't until we were outside, that I finally gave in and was able to walk on my own again. Besides, I know to stop pleading when they fall on deaf ears. As we walked to the restaurant, talked about my trip to the Crystal Empire. “So, how are things there; among the populous, that is? I had been meaning to take a trip, but a small disaster in the palace required my attention there.”
“Oh? What happened if I may ask?”
She waved the question off as inconsequential. “Just a chambermaid's husband seeking revenge on a certain noblepony for attempting to seduce her.” Celestia chuckled, reminding me that she often loved to gossip with me about some of the nobles who liked to pretend to be more noble than they truly were. “It took eight guards to restrain him until I gave them permission to subdue him with magic. The poor dear was quite irate, and Blu- I mean the noble was doing little to help the situation with his usual 'charm'. But that's all unimportant. What is it like? Are they happy with Cadance and Shining? What do they think of allying with us?”
“I suppose they're happy enough, all things considered. They're still adjusting to the world a thousand years removed from what they remember. Which is why the sale of history books has skyrocketed here in Equestria.” As I explained how things were there, I noticed how rapt her attention was on what I was saying. As I mentioned before, it's rather exhilarating to have a pony eagerly lapping up everything you say, especially when that pony was one you admired as much as I do Celestia. It also made their company infinitely more enjoyable.
As we walked into El Montaña del Oro, the sheer opulence of the place surprised me. I had walked past it many times on my way to classes, but had never walked in. I was never really one for luxury for luxury's sake, feeling it took away from the truly important things. Besides, after living in the palace for as long as I have, one gets used to such trappings. Speaking of the palace, it was easy to see where they derived their inspiration for their décor. The owner was obviously attempting to imitate it and its trappings, with lots of white marble, gold accents, rich, red carpeting, and even a live quartet playing some lovely chamber music. It was quite nice, but the influence was about as subtle as Pinkie Pie in full party mode. Why, they even had a replica of one of Celestia's landscape paintings... wait, that was one of Celestia's! I recognized the small chip in the paint on one corner where I accidentally knocked a vase into it while we were playing tag when I was a filly! How did they get a hold of this?
I was startled out of my reverie by the maître d' asking if we were ready to be seated. Celestia smiled at me, clearly amused by my woolgathering. Seated at our table mostly cut off from the rest of the restaurant by some columns and pulled back drapery, she asked me, “I hope you don't think me too presumptuous, but I was hoping that you would stay a few more days. I was thinking of perhaps seeing a movie together, maybe a trip to the museum? I hear they have a new exhibit of Neighponese artifacts and cultural effects.”
To say I was surprised, would have been a gross understatement. I knew that Celestia often missed out on normal things that average ponies took for granted, like walking down the street without a crowd of guards, or being mobbed by admirers and well-wishers, but it was something easy to forget when you only ever saw her in official settings. More to the point, this almost sounded like a... nah, it couldn't be. I mean, sure, she was starved for the companionship of a pony who saw her as a- well, maybe not equal , but didn't treat her like a princess in an ivory tower, regardless of how technically accurate such a description proved to be, but she wouldn't... Well, not to me... I mean... She was looking at me now, a hopeful smile on her lovely lips- No! Bad Twilight! No goggles on the Princess! “I- I'd like that. I had wanted to visit that exhibit, but was afraid I wouldn't have the time.”
Her smile turned into a grin as she said, “Splendid! I'll have Mayor Mare's train car returned in case she needs it, and take you home by chariot. I believe this call for a celebration.” She waved the waiter over and said, “Two glasses of amontillado, '79 Vino Brothers, and a paella for me.” She looked over to me, and I nodded. “For her as well.” When he had silently scurried off (without even writing anything down; a true mark of a good waiter), Celestia lightly patted my hoof on the table. “I'm so glad we could spend more time together, Twilight. I had missed you. Ever since you left the palace, it had been far too quiet.”
I rolled my eyes, smiling back. “Well, I hardly think that the palace was all that noisy when I was living there. You make it sound like I was blowing up rooms every odd Tuesday. I'd feel slighted if I thought you had meant it that way.”
Celestia chuckled, her laugh ringing like silver bells. “Of course not, Twilight. It was once a month at most.”
I stuck my tongue out at her and we laughed at the absurdity of the exchange. Remembering the painting, I asked, “When did you give that painting away, Princess? I always thought you were really fond of it.”
She looked over to the painting at which I was pointing. “That one? Two reasons, I suppose. The owner of the restaurant is a friend of mine, and asked for it. Back when he worked in the palace kitchens, I would often find him staring at it. He expressed a fondness for it, so when he left to pursue his dream of opening his own restaurant, I made it a retirement gift for him. I'm glad to see he treasures it still.”
“And the other reason?” I pressed.
“I wanted to make room for a new painting I liked even better,” she replied, smiling at my inquisitive look. “I'll show it to you when we return to the palace.”
Further conversation was halted as our lunch arrived. This lunch had turned out to a be a most pleasant surprise in what had started off as a rather trying day.
(\ /)
Sadly, the rest of my report to the Ministry of Foreign Affairs went about as well as the first half; which is to say, filled with bored ponies struggling to stay awake. I'm still not sure what I was doing wrong. I followed all the tips from Nerd's Guide to Public Speaking , but not even the good Dr. Nerd could help me this time. I was inclined to think the fault laid with me, but my audience (with few exceptions) were not exactly known for patience for scientists, no matter how brief said scientists tended to be. I wasn't quite brave enough to do as the book suggested and start reading from a salacious novel, but not even my attempts to involve the audience were helping. These ponies were about as disinterested as ponies could get and still be considered technically alive.
It came as something of a relief for all involved when my report was finished, and a vote was called on my findings. The crystal ponies would get the aid they so desperately needed, but by almost unanimous vote, I was barred from giving my reports myself. Had it not been for Celestia's intervention, I would likely have been banned from holding any such position again in all of Equestria.
“Try not to hold it against them, my Faithful Student,” Celestia said as we rode in her carriage back to the palace. “They are simply not used to such thoroughness in reports given to them by experts. They would rather have a short summary explaining all the salient points than an in depth treatise.”
I was bewildered. “But, that was just a summary and why the points were important. My full report was over five hundred pages, not including graphs and charts.”
I think I must have surprised Celestia, because she sounded a little confused as well. “Well, I'm sure that the ministers of finance will appreciate your thoroughness.” She gave a little cough during the lull in the conversation before saying, “I hope you don't mind, but I checked ahead and saw that the theater over on vintage street was playing Blade Trotter . I thought we could see that tonight, then take a late dinner with Luna when she eats her lunch. I'd never seen it before.”
Happy to have something to take my mind off the disaster of a morning, I brightened immediately at the prospect of seeing one of my all-time favorite movies in a theater. I was of course, far too young to have seen it there when it first came out, but I simply couldn't pass this chance up! I think my face must have shown my excitement, because The Princess said, “I'm glad to see your mood lifted, Twilight. Don't let this morning's events sour your mood for long. What's past is past, and life is too short to worry about things that cannot be helped.”
I threw my forelegs around her, reveling in her soft coat that somehow always seemed to smell of roses. I could feel her downy wings cover me like a blanket as she returned the show of affection. “Thank you, Celestia. You always seem to know just what to say or do to help me over the rough spots.”
I'm not sure, but I thought it felt like she was perhaps running a bit hotter than usual, but that may have been just the fact that despite the brisk pace of the carriage, there was almost no wind.
(\ /)
Spike followed me around my palace apartment like a lost duckling looking for his mother as I kept searching for my favorite scarf, a Hearth's Warming gift from Octavia. It was due to get chilly later tonight according to the weather report, and I didn't want to get caught without it. “But, why Twilight? I like that movie, too!”
“Because, Spike, You've already seen a movie just yesterday, and spent the last of your allowance doing it,” I answered shortly. “I'm not about to give you more; you should have budgeted yourself better.” I know I was being a bit cruel, but he really did need to learn a lesson like this. It's not like he never saw the movie before, so he won't be missing much. Besides, it would be nice to have Celestia all to myself for a couple of hours without having to share her with all of Equestria. “Where is my scarf ?”
“If I tell you, can I go?” Spike asked.
I turned to glare at him, and he sighed and pointed at my bed, where it hung on a post. It had been quite some time since I had last stayed in my palace apartment, and it's surprising how fast one acclimates to a new environment when one moves to a new town, to the point where the old environment one left becomes unfamiliar. I wrapped the gray and purple striped knit around my neck, then checked myself in the floor-length mirror. While I won't turn any heads, I was at least assured that nopony would mistake me for some escapee from a zoo or asylum.
Sitting down to brush my tail, I said, “Now, I'm going to be back late, but that doesn't give you free reign to stay up past your bedtime. We're going to the museum early tomorrow, so be sure to be in bed by nine. Also, if you could organize the shelves in the upper level so I can go through them tomorrow afternoon and take the books we need back home with us, I'd appreciate it, Spike.” I had planned on organizing them the day I discovered the legend of Nightmare Moon, but was distracted by the assignment Celestia gave me, and haven't been able to take care of it despite all the times I've been back since. It was a little sad that for a place that used to mean so much to me, I could neglect it so easily once something shiny and new came along. I really should let Celestia have it back, but it was just too convenient (as well as reassuring) to know that should anything happen in Ponyville, I still had this place to which I could return. I suppose one could call it my home away from home... away from home, if you counted my parent's place.
I saw Spike's reflection facepaw and look forlornly at the new pile of comics he had bought yesterday. “Aw, Twilight. I haven't even had time to read my new comics more than once or twice! Besides, the library is getting really full. Do we really need more books?”
“Delayed gratification will make reading them again all the sweeter, Spike. Besides, these are going into my basement lab, so we won't be taking many; just a dozen or so... three dozen, tops,” I replied. It's true that room was getting tight back home, but if things went well with the recital for the big money ponies in Ponyville, I could definitely afford the shelving and furniture for a new room. Maybe literature, to entice more casual readers? Children's for the foals? Pure science for the budding intellectuals? Maybe Celestia would have a good idea when we went on our da- social outing ! Darn it, this is not a... that . It's just two friends, seeing a movie together with no romantic subtext. Friends do that, right? I mean, Rarity and Fluttershy go to the spa all the time, and it doesn't mean they're romantically attracted to each other... right? I took a few deep breaths, slowly letting them out the way Cady taught me until I had calmed down once more.
A knock at my door stole my attention away from my exercise in futility, and I took one more look at myself in the mirror before going to answer it. Spike had already made himself scarce, presumably (hopefully) to take care of the book sorting. I opened the door to find a pony I had not been expecting- well, I had been expecting her, just not in this form. “Celestia?”
A white hoof was placed on my lips, and the magenta-maned unicorn pushed her way in past me. “Sh. I'm called Lovestruck in this form, remember?”
I did remember, but seeing her like this had taken me off guard. She had only used this form a few times that I know of, and only when she wanted to go somewhere incognito. She didn't do it often due to the havoc it caused the guards, as they tried to keep the populous from discovering their Princess had disappeared, even if only to have a few hours to herself with her favorite student. I'm ashamed to admit that it had not occurred to me to wonder how she and I would be able to see a movie together, since not only would her very presence cause a scene, but also the rumors that would begin to circulate about the two of us. In retrospect, I really should have expected her to show up like this, since the only alternative would be to buy every seat in the theater just to be sure that we would remain unmolested, and that still would not take care of the rumor mongering. “Ce- Lovestruck, I wasn't expecting us to go like this. I presume this means that the guards will be covering for you again?”
She pranced around me in a circle, appraising me with a critical eye. Apparently satisfied, she stopped in front of me and adjusted my scarf. “Very nice. This scarf looks very fetching on you. I approve.” Holding the door open for me, she said, “Shall we?”
Being out with Lovestruck was always a surreal experience. On the one hoof, I knew that it was really Celestia, the pony who deserved more respect than any other in existence, if only for what she endures to make sure all her little ponies were safe, but on the other, I was to treat her like any other pony when she donned this disguise. I suppose it was just lucky that in this form, it was so much easier to do that. We walked through the streets, and the ponies there didn't even spare us a first glance, let alone a second. It felt nice to just walk around with her without any pomp or ceremony once more. Why, a stallion in a rush even rudely pushed past us, knocking Celestia into me with nary an apology, or even acknowledgment of our existence. I was ready to shout after him about his lack of manners, but Celestia's laugh startled me.
“Don't worry about it, Twilight. If that's the most inconvenient thing that happens to us tonight, then we should count ourselves lucky,” she said, seeking to mollify my anger.
In the end, I wish she hadn't said that, though. I don't really believe in verbal causation of chance events (indeed, I had still silently vowed to discover the correlation between events and Pinkie Sense), but when it happened to me, it was hard to deny. I was speaking of course, of the theater canceling the showing, due to the film catching fire during a previous showing. While I am not a pony prone to violence, if I ever find the butterhooves who spilled his soda on the projector, I'm going to show him what it's like to be a replicolt being hunted down by Decker. One does not treat a cinematic treasure like Blade Trotter this way. Well, at least the movie they were showing in it's place was 1001, A Lunar Odyssey. This movie took on new meanings and interpretations after Luna came back, but at least it didn't give her a bad portrayal.
The movie was just as deliciously dense as I recalled,, so it was a good thing I had left Spike back at the palace. The first (and last) time he had watched it, he had annoyed me to no end with questions about what was going on. Celestia seemed to be having no trouble with the symbolism, or even the long stretches of silence and no action, at least. In fact, she seemed to be... Oh my goodness, is she about to cry ? Why would she... Oh, for Light's sake! How could I not have realized how this movie would affect her? It was all about a pony stranded on the moon, dealing with the isolation after surviving an attempted murder at the hooves of an arcanificarum driven mad by conflicting orders! How could she not see Luna in Bow Mane's place?
A tear threatened to roll down her cheek, spurring me into action. Without a moment's hesitation, nor a thought given to how it could be misconstrued, I laid my hoof atop hers and squeezed. She looked down at the hoof, then up at me and smiled sadly. I realized that this would not be nearly enough, so I moved closer, and laid my head on her shoulder, hugging her foreleg to my chest. With a wistful sigh, she laid her head on top of mine, and we continued watching as Bow Mane stumbled through the lunar landscape, making his way to the alien monolith that had been the entire purpose of his mission. “Do you want to go? It's almost over anyway,” I whispered to her, not daring to turn my head to see her face.
“No. I want to see what happens. I owe him that much,” she quietly replied.
So, we sat there, watching Bow Mane go into the monolith, then through his many stages of ascension until he transcended matter, and emerged once more as a star foal. Celestia sat there throughout the credits, not moving, even when the house lights came up. At last, an usher came in to begin cleaning up for the next showing, and she stirred. Rising to her hooves, The Princess wiped away a tear and we walked out into the crisp night air. We slowly meandered through the streets until we came upon a roundabout. She made her way to the fountain in the middle with me following, and sat down on the edge, gazing up at the moon, which by now, rode high in the sky.
“You know, I must have apologized to her a thousand times now, but she never once accepted them. Not because she's angry with me, mind you, but because she insists that she had left me no choice.” Celestia gave a weak chuckle, then looked down to the water, where she lazily traced patterns into the surface with a hoof. “That's usually the point where she tries to apologize to me .”
I walked over and sat next to her, trying to make eye contact, but she kept her gaze on the water, which showed a broken reflection of the moon. “If she's already forgiven you, then do you really need to keep beating yourself up over it?”
Celestia wiped at her nose with the back of her hoof, hiding a sniffle. “You sound like our therapist,” she said with wry amusement. This shocked me to my core. Celestia seeing a therapist? My rock needs a rock of her own? I was astounded, and to be perfectly honest, a little betrayed. My view of her had taken quite a few hits lately, but this one was the big one. It was like saying the law of gravity was being repealed. A universal constant within my life was irrevocably ripped away from me with five little words, and nothing would ever be the same again.
But really, was that such a bad thing? Celestia had been trying for years to get me to treat her more like a friend than a goddess on a pedestal, and for the first time in my life, I could actually begin to see the faults within her. Okay, it was just the one at the moment, but even recognizing that for what it was, was a huge step forward. Don't get me wrong, a fault was still a fault, but one such as this only made her seem more equine, not contemptible. How could anyone hate a pony for regretting that she hurt her sister?
My perfect princess was not perfect... and that was... okay.
(\ /)
We cut the rest of the night short after that, Celestia just wasn't in the mood for socializing, and to be honest, I too, had much to mull over. Before we parted ways though, I had to say something to her; something to let her know that I didn't think any less of her. “Celestia,” we had safely returned to the palace, and she had resumed her normal form, so it felt less weird calling her by name instead of as Lovestruck. I think I must have said her name differently from usual or something though, because she looked at me oddly. “I think that you and Luna ought to talk about this to each other instead of through the... you know.” I was hesitant to say therapist in case somepony was listening when they ought not to be.
“Twilight, I told you that we already apologized to one another many times.” She looked perplexed by my advice, but was still listening to me.
I shook my head, saying, “No, I mean talk to her about it; not apologize. But most of all, you need to tell each other, 'I forgive you.' I think you might be able to forgive yourselves if you hear those words, instead of, 'there is nothing to forgive,' or something similar. If there's one big thing I learned from my friends in Ponyville, it's that three little words can often make the biggest difference.”
Curiously, a blush spread across her cheeks. “I... th- thank you, Twilight.” Walking up, I nuzzled under her neck, and she swept her head down to return the gesture. “Thank you, for everything.”
Author's Note
Well, this chappie took an unexpected turn for me.Not even I saw that ending coming. Kinda makes me wonder- not where the story is going (that's already firmly in mind)- but how it's going to get there. When I started this one, I had originally had another pony instead of Celestia, but after some consideration (and some advice from Fusion Foo the 3rd; thanks, dood), I cut a bit of chaff from the wheat. No sense muddying up the waters this early.
Also, dat "perfect princess" line.
Twilight's Shipping Goggles
Chapter 6: A Day at the Museum
TWILIGHT'S SHIPPING GOGGLES
Chapter 6: A Day at the Museum
I rose with the sun the next morning. As I lifted my head from my pillow, I could see the orb begin its daily ascension through the huge window on my library level. Already, the clouds were closing in, announcing that the day was going to be perfect for visiting a museum. Nothing made a huge space like that feel cozy quite like a nice rainstorm. Honestly, it was also perfect weather for staying in and just curling up with a good book and a mug of hot cocoa, but with Celestia waiting for me after her early morning court (which she was planning to cut short so we could have a nice long trip), I could sincerely say that I could think of nothing I'd like to do more right now.
Rising to all fours, I arched my back, feeling the joints pop a little as I restored circulation to my legs. I hopped down from my bed to see Spike still asleep in his old (and now outgrown) basket, limbs splayed every which way and snoring away happily. His little foot kicked and he mumbled something about Rarity and ice cream. Deciding I had heard more than enough, I gave his basket a gentle kick and said, “Rise and shine, Spike! We have a busy day ahead of us, so let's go, go, go!”
Startled, he rolled right out of the basket and onto the floor on all fours and looked around. “Huh? Wha? What happened? What's wrong? Where's the fire?”
The little guy was so cute, I couldn't help but giggle a little. “Sorry, Spike, but it's just time to get up and at 'em. Let's go, and dress warmly. Judging by the frost on the window, it's a little nippy out there and the rain won't be helping that any.”
With groan, he collapsed, letting his face fall back onto his bed. “Ugh. Wake me when we get there.”
I trotted off to the bathroom to freshen up and called out, “I'm not carrying you when you have two perfectly functional legs, and neither is Celestia. I was going to save this as a surprise, but if you're good today, I'll let you choose something reasonable from the gift shop, and before you ask, no gemstones.”
I could hear his head flumping down on the bed once more and smiled to myself. I'll support his obsessions to a certain point (we all need to have one or two to call our own), but I try my best to broaden his interests as best as I can. A well-rounded individual is a happier individual; less prone to boredom, as well.
Having taken care of our morning ablutions, we walked to the Royal private dining room, which Celestia had given permission for either of us to use whenever we liked when I first came to live here as her personal student. We walked in, nodding past the guards who saluted us, and were surprised to find Luna there alone, drinking chamomile tea. She brightened considerably when she spotted us and used her magic to pull the chairs to her left out for us. “Good morrow, Twilight, Spike,” she cheerily called out.
“Good morning, Luna. How was your night?” I asked her.
She shrugged, saying, “Only fair to middling, I'm afraid. Whilst no disaster befell on my watch, I am afraid that the level of bureaucracy with which one must deal when ruling is enough to break the strongest pony's restraint. It is only through the strongest of wills and the thought of disappointing my sister that I was able to keep from banishing the lot of them to the farthest reaches of Equestria.”
I could certainly understand her consternation. Even though I'm not officially a government agent, I could not count the number of times I had been flustered by bureaucracy, and this is from somepony who loved order and rules. “I wish I could tell you it gets easier, Luna, but I wouldn't want to be accused of lying,” I said with a wry smile.
Luna sighed and looked down at her food dejectedly. “I was afraid you would say that. Still, It does feel good to know that I am helping ponies, especially the little ones. They above all, make all the trouble worthwhile.” Her dour look lifted at the mention of foals. From what Celestia told me (and what I've seen of her, of course), Luna has always had a conspicuously soft spot for foals; something with which I could agree wholeheartedly. There was nothing like seeing the joy on a foal's face when she finally latched onto a concept, understanding not just the what or how, but the why.
“Are you sure you won't join us at the museum today? I've heard that this exhibit is particularly good. They brought in experts from Neighpon to help with the acquisition and set up. It promises to be spectacular.” I wasn't exaggerating, either; I had read that the museum had spared no expense on this exhibit. Collections were heavily borrowed from, and cultural experts were put on retainer as consultants both before and during the showing. I was lucky to be able to see it before it left for good.
“Nay, Twilight, I'm afraid I must bow out,” Luna replied sadly. “Last night was exhausting, though I made no physical exertion beyond the tending to my moon throughout the night. As much as I would love to join you, Celestia and Spike, I'm afraid I would be poor company.”
Celestia walked in at that moment, her demure smile widening upon seeing Spike and myself. “Good morning, Luna, Twilight, Spike. Ready for our outing?” she asked as she took her seat across from us at the long table.
“Just as soon as we get some breakfast in us,” I replied. I was feeling famished and was hoping that waffles were on the menu this morning, preferably smothered in strawberries.
She nodded in agreement. “I think I could do with a bite, myself.”
Carts of food were pushed out from the kitchen, and the delicious smells of breakfast were upon us, eliciting a chorus of grumbling stomachs, which in turn, elicited chuckles from us all. The meal was eaten in relative quiet, the scrape of silverware on plates the only sound to break the silence. We finished fairly quickly, wanting to be about our respective businesses, and left Luna to catch up on her much deserved sleep.
Seeing as Celestia was going as herself, rather than one of her many disguises, we just had to put up with the guard detail such an event warranted. Apparently, The Princess needed to make an appearance for the sake of diplomacy with the foreign nation, though none of the diplomats would be there, oddly enough. Ah, well. At least this was something that would have happened regardless of my being here or not, so Spike and I weren't putting anypony out who wouldn't have already been, thanks to Celestia's visit.
As expected of any royal visit, the museum pulled out all the stops, even going so far as to have an actual red carpet laid out on the steps; a dangerous proposition for such an expensive piece of furnishing, given the warnings from the weather team and the increasingly ominous gathering of clouds. Already, the sky was now covered in gray and the sun was nowhere in evidence, no doubt lending a sense of urgency to the maintenance crew waiting on us so that they could roll up the carpet again. The museum itself looked like it had just been scrubbed down and polished. All the brass fittings and rails gleamed like new, and even the stone chimera statues flanking the steps up had been cleaned of all the bird droppings.
The head curator greeted us as the carriage pulled up to the steps, and we- that is, The Princess was given a low bow. “Good morning, Your Highness. It was a lovely sunrise before the clouds moved in,” the old earth pony stallion said more to the ground, given where he was facing.
Celestia nodded to him as she stepped down, allowing him to rise. “Thank you, Professor Hidebound. A shame, but we could all do with a little watering, now and then, no?”
Professor Hidebound chuckled affably. “Indeed, Your Highness. That's certainly a positive way to look upon it.”
She nodded again, and nudged me forward. “You remember my personal student, Twilight Sparkle, I presume? It's been some time since she was last here, but still has her lifetime pass; laminated it, if I recall correctly.”
I rolled my eyes, but still smiled. “No sense in spending that much money on something that useful, if it's just going to get damaged,” I replied, as I pulled it from my interdimensional pocket where I kept all my identification, lifetime passes, and emergency money. It was indeed, laminated (as all such things should be), and still embarrassingly had my picture from my awkward years where I wore braces, glasses, and corrective horseshoes. Yeah, I was a mess (still am, according to some), wanna make something of it?
The old curator chuckled again, and patted my hoof reassuringly. “It's nice to see youngsters so responsible as you were and are; more so to see them still interested in museums such as this one. Sad to say, but most seem to lose interest after graduating from school, these days.” He looked around me and smiled. “Hello again, Spike.”
Spike waved sheepishly, not wanting to say anything, embarrassed that he was counted among those who would rather spend their time almost anywhere but in a museum. I don't really blame him though, and I'm sure Professor Hidebound doesn't either. We all like what we like, and that really can't be helped.
He led us indoors, the maintenance ponies rolling up the carpet behind us with unseemly haste, though again, I could scarcely blame them; it was already starting to drizzle. As soon as we stepped indoors, we were assaulted by the subtle, yet discordant sounds of traditional Neighponese music playing softly over the sound system. I had meant to visit the Land of the Rising Sun (they had their own traditions about the sun that Celestia had been all too happy to teach me), but somehow never found the time. Small touches of the Far East pervaded throughout the décor now, really adding to the atmosphere.
What surprised me most, was to see a kitsune, resplendent in a traditional kimono and porcelain mask hiding her features, but could not hide her obvious grace. She bowed low at the waist, prompting Celestia, Spike and I to do the same (though Celestia and I were technically already bent at the waist, so we settled for a traditional bow). Professor Hidebound stepped forward and said, “Your Highness, allow me to introduce, Yukino Hana-sama, the head of the Neighponese cultural exhibit. Yukino-sama, I present to you, Princess Celestia, of Equestria, Lady Twilight Sparkle, and Spike.” I could tell from the way he looked at her, the professor was quite taken with the kitsune, not that I could blame him. The oddness of her shape, combined with her demure grace made her quite attractive. Sadly, between her mask and her bulky kimono, it made it difficult to get a read on her, so I was left to rely on her words and intonations, as well as her three tails, which were left free of her robes.
“It is a great honor to meet you, Celestia-hime,” she said in a voice so quiet, it left one wondering if they had actually heard it, or if it was just a breeze. Oddly, Yukino-sama's mask did little to impede her voice; it just seemed that she was very soft-spoken. She looked to me, and though it was tough to tell, I thought she stiffened a moment. “And you, Mahō no Yōso. Even in the far off lands, words of your great heroics have reached many ears.” Turning to Spike, she said, “As always, it's an honor to meet a celestial agent, Ryū-sama. Welcome to our exhibit.”
Spike's chest puffed out and he looked inordinately pleased with himself. “Well, I've never been called that before, but I guess it fits, doesn't it?”
I suppose it did make an apt description since he technically worked for Celestia, but he was taking the meaning entirely out of context. Seeing as this really wasn't the time nor place to correct him, I decided to let it slide until I could explain the Celestial Bureaucracy of the Far East to him later, provided he didn't go overboard with it. The strange fox-person gave tinkling laugh- more of a titter, really- and said, “Indeed, Ryu-sama; in more ways than one. If you'll follow me, I'll guide you through the exhibits and answer any questions you may have to the best of my ability.”
“Nothing would please me more,” Celestia replied with a nod.
A pony same up to Professor Hidebound and whispered in his ear. After the newcomer turned and left in a hurry, he turned to The Princess and bowed. “My apologies, You Highness, but an urgent matter has just been brought to my attention. I'm afraid Yukino-sama will have to guide you alone.”
Celestia nodded. “Of course, professor. I, of all ponies, should know how duty can interfere with what one would rather be doing.” With a silent nod, the old earth pony trotted off with more haste than would normally be seemly in the presence of royalty.
Yukino-sama bowed again, and gestured for us to follow her. “If it pleases you, Your Highness, we'll begin our tour in the Ancient History room.”
“Yukino-sama, may I ask at which school you studied?” I broached as we walked to the first room, hoping I wouldn't offend her.
The kitsune bowed slightly. “Of course, Lady Sparkle, but you may just call me Yukino-san. Sama is not necessary with someone of your stature. I nodded my understanding, and she continued, “I graduated from Taiyō to Tsuki no Daigaku five years ago. I have a doctorate in, I hope you'll pardon my my Equish, Nay-poh-neez culture, as well as history of the same, and world history.”
“Oh? History is one of my favorite subjects, too!” I squealed. I'm not proud of it, but I honestly did a little fanfillying out at that moment. “It's so rare to meet another so interested that they too, pursue a degree in it. I'm still working on my master's thesis for world history, but I expect to have it quite soon.” My mind suddenly latched onto something she said and rabbited off in a new direction (a fault many of my professors shared, leaping about from subject to subject). “Taiyō to Tsuki no Daigaku? That wouldn't be the famous Sun and Moon University, renowned the world over for its academic standards, would it?”
Yukino-san's tails twitched excitedly, revealing her excitement. “You've heard of it, then? How wonderful. Oh, but look at me nattering on about my school, instead of doing my job. Please excuse me.”
She then set about telling us all about the exhibits, going into far more detail than was posted for the visitors. She really was rather enthralling as a tour guide. I really wish I could have taken lessons from her on public speaking; maybe she could finally teach me how to do it without boring my audience.
Celestia seemed to be enjoying herself as well, even speaking to Yukino-san in her (Yukino-san's) native language several times. While my Neighponese was far from what I would call fluent, it was still good enough to roughly follow along with the conversation. Poor Spike was left completely bewildered, having never learned more than a few words important to him such as manga, and anime (which were mostly Equestrian comic book characters done in their style, and though he still butchered those few words with his accent). Her interest in the exhibits was quite infectious, making it easy to forget the awkwardness of the previous night. Even without the sun being visible, she really does shine with an inner light. Ugh! No! I almost did it again! I can't look at her like that, no matter how gooey it makes me feel!
I shook my head, trying to clear it of those thoughts, accidentally gaining her attention. “Are you feeling well, Twilight?”
I nodded sheepishly, ashamed that my problems were interfering with her enjoyment of such a breathtaking museum; especially since she so rarely gets out like this. “I'm fine, Princess; just... all this walking has made me thirsty.”
Yukino-san bowed and said, “Please forgive me for not thinking of this earlier. I beg you allow me to make you all some tea as an apology.”
“Thank you, Yukino-san. That would be lovely,” Celestia said.
The kitsune led us to the atrium where many cushions and low tables had been placed for the convenience of the patrons. The steady thrum of rain on the glass ceiling had a lulling effect, and the water cascading down the glass walls was almost hypnotizing. After seeing us to our seats, she left us alone with our thoughts. She must have had a pot of boiling water on standby, however, because she was only gone a few minutes.
She poured for us, and we sat and sipped at the lovely green tea. It was different from the teas to which I was accustomed. There was definitely a flavor in there I just could not identify. “The tea is delicious, but I've been racking my brain, trying to figure out this fruity, smokey flavor. What is it, if I may ask?” I asked her.
Her tails wagged a little as she answered, “Dragonberries. They are are rare fruit that only grows on the side of Mount Inari. Quite expensive, so it's no real surprise that you have never come across them before.”
“They're delightful. It's been some time since I last tasted them,” Celestia remarked.
Out of the blue, Spike said, “Okay, if no one is going to say it, I will. Why do you wear that mask?” he asked Yukino-san.
“Spike!” I chided, but he only looked half chagrined. Turning to our hostess, I said, “I apologize for his rudeness. He apparently needs a refresher course on manners.”
“It's quite alright, Lady Sparkle. He is simply young and curious. One trait will be outgrown all too soon, and the other is to be commended,” she said to me. Turning to Spike, she added, “I wear the mask because a kitsune's smile is often said to be unsettling to those not used to us, and I tend to smile quite a bit.”
Spike considered this for a moment before asking, “Can I see?”
“SPIKE!” I shouted.
He looked to me pleadingly. “Oh, come on! You can't just expect me to let it go after hearing that, can you? That's like saying, 'don't think about tap dancing rhinos'; you're immediately going to think of them!”
I fumed at him and his sudden lack of manners, but Yukino-san came to his rescue. “If it is alright with you, Lady Sparkle, I would like to show him. I am always ready to satisfy curiosity, and to be honest, this mask can become stifling at times.” I sighed, but nodded. If she was alright with showing him, I saw no reason why she shouldn't. Granted, he may have nightmares, but maybe this will teach him to remember his manners.
Now, I had studied not just the culture of Neighpon, but also its people, so I had some idea of what to expect, but I have to admit that I too was curious, having never seen a kitsune in person. Yukino-san untied the ribbons holding her mask in place and slowly removed it. As expected, her actual face was very similar to the mask itself, even lacking a visible mouth... until she smiled. To be totally honest, I kind of knew what was coming, having seen pictures, but the actual sight in person was so unsettling, that I still felt the strong urge to run and hide. It was like a small cut appeared where one would presume to find a mouth, but like a bag slashed open, the rend continued to spread until it reached either side of her head, and widened to display the most fearsome set of teeth I had ever seen. Each tooth was triangular, and came to a sharp point. They fit together like the cogs in a gear so that almost no space could be seen between them, and gleamed pearly-white. I would not blame anypony who ran from this at first sight; as it was, I was rooted to the spot by my need to not be rude to our host, and wanting to prove to Celestia that I could handle this.
Yukino-san's eyes twinkled with mischief as she put the mask down on the table and poured herself a cup of tea as well. “Thank you both for not running away. I know it can be unsettling at first, but I assure you, I mean no harm.” Her horrible- her teeth flashed as she spoke, and if I thought the urge to run earlier was strong, it was nearly overwhelming now.
It was only because I could see from her facial expressions that she truly did not mean any harm, and only felt some amusement tinged with sadness that I could tell she really meant it. “O-of course. It would be rude of a guest to run away from as cordial a host as you have been,” I replied shakily. Though I had managed to keep my wits, I'm sure everyone there could hear the quaver in my voice. Worried about Spike, I looked over to him to find that he had gone stiff and wide-eyed, but did not say a word. He was obviously scared, but he was standing his ground, I'm proud to say. I'm sure if anything, he'd learned his lesson about asking such prying questions.
We drank our tea in silence after that, the soothing drink calming our (that is, Spike and my) jangled nerves. Celestia seemed to be unaffected, which is to be expected, having not only encountered kitsune before, but also formed friendships with some of them. Just looking at her being her usual calm, serene self, bolstered my own flagging courage, and made me feel a little ashamed at my unkind feelings and thoughts towards our kitsune guide. Yukino-san surprised me, as I caught her staring at me several times. Whenever she saw that I had noticed, she just smiled (though she kept her teeth hidden) and turned her attention elsewhere.
After our tea break, we resumed the tour, Yukino-san leaving her mask off. I admit, while it was disconcerting at first, we got used to her frightful countenance, even Spike, who was able to look her in the eye (though he did avoid looking at her mouth) after an hour or so. I suppose it helped that she was such an affable person, but it's also true that familiarity has a way of rubbing off the corners, which may have been her intent in keeping the mask off.
Alas, the tour eventually ended, and we found ourselves tarrying at the entrance to the museum, waiting for the carriage to be brought around. We had already visited the gift shop, and both Spike and I had our own porcelain kitsune masks for keepsakes. As we stood there, Yukino-san and I traded stories about our experiences in schooling, contrasting how our cultures changed even that. “Oh, Lady Twilight. If only you could see the culture festival my high school puts together. Such food you haven't seen, nor will anywhere else. I suppose one could liken it to a carnival, but that really doesn't do justice to the atmosphere; it's subtly different, you see.”
“It sounds wonderful. Perhaps I'll be able to visit your country some day,” I replied. A sudden thought occurred to me, and I added, “Yukino-san, I'd like it if you just called me Twilight. We're friends in scholarly pursuits, if nothing else, and all my friends just call me by name.”
Yukino-san blushed, but grinned widely, displaying an alarming number of teeth. She bowed, saying, “I would like that very much, Twilight, but only if you just call me Hana.”
“Thank you... Hana,” I sheepishly replied.
Just then, the carriage pulled up, and a magical shield was erected to cover our path from the door to it. Seeing no sight of the head curator, Celestia said, “I hope you'll excuse us, then; our ride is here. Please tell Professor Hidebound that we very much enjoyed the exhibit, and look forward to coming back in future.”
Hana bowed deeply. “I will. Thank you for your visit, Princess, it was a great pleasure. I hope we will meet again someday.” Turning to me, she added, “It has been most enjoyable meeting you. I hope you do get to visit my homeland someday. I would love to show you around.”
I nodded, then hesitated a moment before giving her a quick hug. “I'll be sure to visit. That's a promise.”
Once settled in the carriage, I turned back to see Hana watching as we pulled away until we lost sight of the museum around a corner.
(\ /)
A few hours later found us in the palace courtyard where the flying chariots came and went, awaiting for one to be brought forward for Spike and myself. Celestia was there with us, basking in her sun that had finally deigned to show itself from behind the storm clouds. It was well on its way to the western horizon, so we would likely be arriving in Ponyville just before dark. I kind of felt bad about making the pegasi carting us around fly after dark, but Celestia had assured me many times that this was a duty that was highly sought after, because it let them stretch their wings, something that doesn't happen much in the normal execution of their service. A small pile of books from my personal collection as well as a few other things I had picked up during my stay sat to one side, awaiting loading onto a tow-cart that would be pulled behind our chariot.
“Are you sure you have everything, Twilight? I'm sure there's a book or two in the Royal Archives that could fit into the cart if you need them,” Celestia said, teasingly.
I rolled my eyes, but smiled at her joke. It was always nice to see her in a good mood. “Yes, I'm sure, Celestia. Are you sure that you can pull away from your duties for the concert? I don't want to interfere with any important business.” It still felt odd to call her by name, but if it made her happy, who am I to argue?
She leaned down to nuzzle my cheek, sending a thrill of warmth through me. “Twilight, you are my most important business.”
I looked over at Spike, to ensure that he was too busy jumping in puddles to notice my fierce blush, or the reason for it. I returned the gesture with a wide smile. Unfortunately, the chariot chose that moment to arrive, and Spike ran over to us as we pulled away. “They're here, Twi! Let's get everything loaded! I can't wait to show Rarity what I got her!” The little tyke had actually spent some of his hard-earned money buying a heart-shaped pincushion with her name embroidered on it. I'm actually a little surprised that he didn't have his own name put on it instead, but didn't dare ask him why, in case he hadn't thought of it himself, and had it changed. It was a much nicer gift this way, and a lot less awkward for Rarity.
I turned to Celestia and said, “Well, I guess I'll see you again in a few days. I'm really looking forward to you attending the concerts. You and Luna, both.”
“As do I. Until then, My Faithful Student.” She wrapped her wing around me in a quick hug, then used it to push me towards the waiting chariot. As the vehicle lifted off, I kept watching her grow smaller and smaller, finally disappearing entirely, but still I kept my gaze on the palace perched precariously upon the mountainside. I silently wondered if it would always feel like I was leaving my heart behind every time I left the palace.
I was surprised by Spike patting my shoulder. “It'll be alright, Twi. We'll see her again soon. She promised to come to the concert you're setting up, didn't she?” I nodded sadly, and he added, “See? When has she ever broke a promise?”
I actually felt a little cheered by this and smiled at him, even going so far as to nuzzle his cheek, despite his rough scales. “Thanks, Spike. You're the best.”
Author's Note
I have to confess, I pretty much wrote this chapter around Hana's face-reveal. Once I knew that there was going to be a Neighponese exhibit at the museum, the chapter almost wrote itself. Sorry there wasn't much shipping this time around, but since Twilight is going back to Ponyville, You can be sure it'll return in force.
Twilight's Shipping Goggles
Chapter 7: An Afternoon in Town
TWILIGHT'S SHIPPING GOGGLES
Chapter 7: An Afternoon in Town
The trip to Canterlot had really rejuvenated me. I'm not sure what it was, but visiting there did wonders for helping me to sort my perspective. Although I now thought of Ponyville as home, it was difficult to not feel like I was coming home every time I returned to my birthplace. I wonder if everypony who left their first hometown felt that way?
It's a good thing that I did think so highly of Ponyville, because as soon as I stepped off the chariot last night, Ink Well was waiting there for me, looking to set up an appointment with the mayor this morning. Now, I'm all for keeping a busy schedule, but there is such a thing as letting a filly breathe, you know. Of course I agreed to a meeting, but had been adamant about it not being first thing in the morning on the grounds of needing rest. I had to make the mayor realize that although I may be at Celestia's beck and call at all times, that did not necessarily extend to her as well. By the same token, I could put the meeting off for only so long, with the timetable with which we were working, so I said that I would be available for a working lunch with them. Ink Well seemed to find this acceptable, and left to do her shopping for the day (although, she was leaving it awful late).
All of which, was how I found myself trotting to the mayor's office with a saddlebag stuffed with my rough outline for the concerts, and a stomach grumbling to be filled at eleven-thirty. It was always part of my plan to swing by Applejack's stand to buy something nice for lunch, which is why I left extra, extra early for the appointment, in case there was a line. Fortunately, there was only one pony in line when I got there, that being Ink Well herself. “Morning, Applejack, Ink Well.”
I must have surprised them, because poor Ink Well nearly jumped out of her skin as she turned to face me. “Oh! Miss Twilight! G-good morning. I was just, um, picking up lunch for the mayor and myself for our lunch meeting. For work! For work, I mean, not like, for a date or anything!” She went from a sickly pale, to beet red in seconds as she babbled an excuse I had already figured out long ago, since I was the one who had arranged the meeting to take place at noon.
“Yeah, I know. Are you feeling alright, Ink Well? We made this arrangement when I came home last night,” I replied.
“Yes! Arranged for a meeting! With the mayor! To discuss the concert! And nothing else!” she shouted at the top of her lungs. Beads of sweat were now pouring down her face as she looked nervously around, her mouth scrunching up as if afraid of saying something wrong. “I have to go now!” she yelled and darted off to the town hall.
Applejack and I watched her gallop off, and I asked, “What was that all about?”
“Nothin', Sugarcube. Absolutely nothin',” she replied with a sigh and a facehoof. Her obvious exasperation was doubly confusing to me, because not only did I not know the cause, I didn't know at whom it was directed, either. I was about to ask her to elaborate when she pushed a bag over to me and asked, “Since y'all are havin' your 'workin' lunch' together, would yah mind terribly taking this to Ink Well? She left it in her rush to skedaddle.”
I took the bag in my magic and carefully placed it in my saddlebag, in a separate compartment from my documents in case whatever was in there was greasy food and leaked through the paper bag. “Of course, Applejack. Is everything okay? You look... flustered.”
Her expression softened into a smile and she nodded. “Right as rain, Twilight.” I could tell she was hiding something from me, and oddly enough, it was something romantic, because I could tell the way she looked at me, then towards Town Hall, she was anxious about something , but what could it have been? Ink Well and I are the only two to whom she's been talking since the emotion became obvious to me.
I shook my head, not wanting to be late for my meeting, but resolving to talk to her about this when I had a free moment. “Um, would you mind giving me two baked apples? I'll need something filling as well for the meeting.”
“'Course, you can. Here yah go.” Applejack's false enthusiasm was almost convincing, like whatever had bothered her before had been pushed aside for more important matters. She filled another, smaller bag with my order and pushed them over to me as I laid out six bits for the food. While it was impractical to eat out like this a lot, finding the money for it once in a while wasn't exactly a hardship, especially after comparing the prices for something this delicious being sold in Canterlot. If she were to somehow open a stand in Canterlot, she would make a killing, as the business ponies say.
As I put the food in my saddlebag, I said, “The mayor and I are arranging a classical music concert soon. Do you thing you'd like to come? We're getting a symphony from Canterlot to play for us, and they're really quite good.”
“Ink Well was tellin' me about it 'fore she ran off. I was thinkin' about swingin' by to see if it's my kind of thing,” she replied easily, but the dark cloud returned in her eyes for a moment.
“Well, if you do end up liking it, there's going to be a private concert given in my library the following night. It's really just for the wealthiest ponies in town to hopefully pick up some contributions for the library, but as the owner of the largest portion of land in all of Ponyville, I would think that the Apples qualify. Of course, you don't have to donate or even show up, but I thought I'd extend the invitation, all the same.” I may have been babbling at this point, I'm not sure. I sometimes do that when I'm trying to convince one of my friends to do something I like that they may not enjoy. Applejack is a pony of simple tastes, and seems like she would find the music of a symphony to be too posh for her tastes.
She put a reassuring hoof on my shoulder and smiled at me. “We'll see how it goes, Sugarcube. One step at a time.”
Her words went a long way to setting my worries to rest, and in the end, she was right; some things are better when eased into them, like a pool of cool water on a hot day. We parted ways with a “Good day” and I left to my appointment.
(\ /)
As I passed Sugarcube Corner, I was assaulted by Pinkie rushing up to me and giving me a crushing hug strong enough to do a bear proud. “Twilight,Twilight,Twilight,guesswhat,guesswhat,guesswhat!”
I struggled to find air to put into my lung, but it just could not get past Pinkie's vice-like grip. “Pinkie... need... air!” I gasped out.
She set me down and patted my head as if I were a child. “Silly Twilight. You're supposed to be purple, not blue. What would Dashie think if she saw you trying to imitate her color? Think of the ego explosion, filly!” She then mimed picking something up and setting it to the side. “Putting that aside, my sister's finished her work on the dig site early, and is coming back for a visit! Isn't that great? Ooo, I can't wait to show her the mountain where Rarity goes gem hunting! I never got to show that to her last time!”
Having finally recovered my breath sufficiently to speak intelligibly once more, I said, “That's great, Pinkie. When will she be here?”
“That's the best part! She'll be here today!” Pinkie squeed. I had never seen a grown pony do that before, but there was no other word for it. It was most definitely a squee.
I was just about to express my happiness at her happiness when a loud explosion outside caught everypony's attention. We rushed outside to see a familiar portable stage/cart had been set up right outside of market street, where lots of ponies walked. The explosions were actually fireworks being set off around the stage, attracting the attention of a small crowd of ponies. I facehoofed and groaned. “I really did not need this today.”
Just as the fireworks were dying down, there was a sudden explosion of gray smoke in the center of the stage, and when it cleared, revealed the pony I had expected, but for whom I really had no time. “Come one, come all to see the Contrite and Apologetic Trrrixie!”
I dragged my hoof down my face, but stopped when my brain processed what she said. Walking up, I said, “Trixie? What's this all about?”
She looked down and spotted me right away (only a few other ponies had bothered to stay after seeing who it was). Walking forward, she bent over to examine me and said, “Trixie has already apologized to you, Twilight Sparkle. She is not here for you. It is for the rest of Ponyville that the Humbled and Repentant Trixie,” at this, more fireworks shot out of her wagon, “has come! Though you are welcome to stay for the show.”
She turned around to walk off and I heard a deadpan voice behind me say, “Pinkie, I told you not to go out of your way to welcome me. Why did you hire a magician?”
“Maud!” Pinkie shouted and ran over to hug her older sister, whom had obviously just arrived. She picked up the older mare, swinging her around by the armpits. “Oh, I missed you so much!”
“Who is she ?” a voice in my ear asked.
Startled, I whirled around to find Trixie watching the Pie sisters' reunion. Her eyes were wide and staring, and her mouth hung open a little; there was even a slight blush to her cheeks. It was hard not to notice that her interest was more than mere curiosity, and even without the Shipping Goggles, even I could tell that. Suddenly, I was presented with a golden opportunity to practice using my Goggles, for if ever there was a case of shooting apples in a barrel, it was this. “That's Pinkie's sister, Maud Pie. You remember Pinkie, right? She's the one whose mouth you stole last time you were here.” Maybe I shouldn't have dug the knife in quite so deep, but she needed to know that she still had to clear the air between herself and Pinkie if she wanted any chance at her sister. Bad blood can ruin a budding friendship, so I can only guess how disastrous it might be to a budding romance.
Trixie chewed on her lower lip and gulped. “T- Trixie knows what she must do.” With that, she jumped down from the stage and boldly walked over to Pinkie Pie and said, “Miss Pinkie Pie? Trixie wishes to apologize again for her actions last time she visited your town. Her actions were inexcusable, mind-altering amulet or not, and she hopes you will accept her apology.” She bowed low, her nose touching the ground. Apology given, she held the pose, trembling as she waited for the verdict.
As I had expected, Pinkie dropped her sister and grabbed up the showmare, squeezing her tight. “I knew you weren't really a bad pony, Trixie, not even when you did that super neat-o trick where you took my mouth. How did you do that, anyway?”
Trixie pushed against Pinkie's inequinely strong grip enough to catch her breath. “So, you aren't mad at Trixie anymore? We are, as the foals say, 'all good'?”
Pinkie nodded enthusiastically as she dropped the unicorn. “Yupper puppers! Let me introduce you to my most awesomest sister, Maud Pie. Maud, this is Trixie, the mare who stole my mouth! I told you all about that in the letter, remember?”
“So you're the one who managed to make Pinkie stay quiet for more than two minutes without resorting to a sleeping potion?” Maud looked Trixie over with a critical eye, but even with my Shipping Goggles, it was difficult to tell how she felt. It was frustrating enough to make me wonder how she came to be like this. Trixie was sweating now, her nervous smile and darting eyes announcing to the world her anxiety. “Impressive. Only our mother has been able to manage that, and even then it wasn't for nearly as long.”
It may have been the emotionless quality of Maud's voice and tone, but it took Trixie a moment to process what she said. When she did, she laughed nervously and scratched the back of her head. “Ah heh. Yes, that was Trixie, though she doubts she could manage to do so again; not without the Alicorn Amulet, and that was confiscated from her.”
“A pity.”
Was... did Maud just crack a joke? No, make that two jokes in a row! I could feel my mouth hanging open and quickly shut it with an audible CLICK before a bug flew in. Her body language was just as unreadable as her tone and face, making it difficult to tell if she really was joking or not, a maddeningly vexatious situation, to be sure. All I could think at the moment was that she must be a demon at the card table.
“Isn't Maud just a riot?”
Pinkie's voice in my ear was quite startling, to put it mildly. Even after all this time, she can still sneak up on me undetected, often with some sort of commentary that coincidentally related to my inner thoughts somehow. It was... uncanny to say the least. I'm afraid I was so intent on the meeting between Maud and Trixie, I was doubly startled by the sudden interruption to my thought train, and let out a squeak of surprise. “Eep! P- P- Pinkie!”
Pinkie sidled up closer to me and stage whispered conspiratorially, “I think Trixie likes her.”
Looking over, I saw Trixie was doing her best to wow (or should that be woo?) her, even going so far as to produce a bouquet of flowers from thin air and give them to her. Maud took a polite nibble of a carnation, declaring it to be “good”. Trixie looked inordinately pleased, a blush forming on her cheeks. “I think you may be right,” I whispered back. “Do you think Maud is interested?”
With a pat on my head, Pinkie replied, “Silly filly. Can't you tell?” She then bounced off like a gazelle back towards her sister. “Come on, Maud! I never did get to show you that quarry where we met the diamond dogs last time you were here!” With that, the two sisters walked off, leaving a flustered and anxious Trixie behind.
Trixie zipped over to me, grabbing me by the scruff of my chest with her forehooves. “You have to tell Trixie where this quarry is! Please, Twilight Sparkle, Trixie's whole future may depend on it!”
I gently disengaged her hooves and brushed off the dust from my coat. “Don't you have an apology show to put on?” I hated to get in the way of this new development, but she did leave a small gathering of foals hanging with the promise of a show she had yet to truly deliver.
Biting her lower lip anxiously, she looked down the road Maud and Pinkie had taken, then back at the audience, which was growing smaller with each passing second several times before sighing and letting her head hang sadly. “You're right. Trixie will do as she intended, even though it may cost her all future happiness.”
Ouch. Right in the guilt center. Rolling my eyes, I patted her on the shoulder. “There, there, Trixie. Tell you what; I have an appointment with the mayor right now, but if you're done with your show by the time I'm done with my meeting, I'll help you find Mau- er, the quarry afterward, okay?”
For the second time that day, I was caught up in an unexpectedly strong hug. “Thank you so much, Twilight Sparkle! Trixie will happily be waiting here for your return!”
With that, she returned to her stage, putting on an atonement speech/show that had me wondering if she had perhaps consulted a thesaurus, what with all the different synonyms for apology she was using. Shaking my head, I was about to start back down the road when I looked up at the clock tower and noted the time. Roadapples! I was going to be ta- No. Calm down, Twilight. We will not have another rocket-powered sled incident. Taking a deep breath, I remembered that another option was available to me that I was denied when I was ten. With a bit of concentration and not inconsiderable expenditure of magical energy, I teleported to the Town Hall.
As I popped in with a flash, I startled a mare resting outside the door, who appeared to be trying to catch her breath. “Dwaaah!”
I shook off the aftereffects of the translocation (the instantaneous shifting of one's position with regards to the ley lines often leaves one disoriented, especially if done in a rush) and blinked a few times. “Sorry about that, Ink Well. I was delayed a bit talking to new arrival to the town. Let's get this meeting started. I promised her a tour when I finished here.”
The meeting went well, I thought. The mayor was allowed to dip into the celebration fund (Light knew we had enough of those every year to warrant a slush fund just for those) after a council meeting with the town elders, which made this proposition a lot easier on us (and our personal pocketbooks). She was especially happy to learn that I had convinced Octavia to get the symphony to play for a greatly discounted fee, as long as we set up a tip jar for them to share (into which I was planning on leaving a rather hefty sum). Given the constraints of the venue, the only building large enough to contain such a concert (aside from applejack's barn, a singularly unsuitable location, size notwithstanding) was the City Hall itself, and in order to recoup the costs, we would need to have three showings, which is normal for this type of event, I assured the mayor.
After that, it was a flurry of small details that we were able to get settled well before the mayor's next appointment, much to everypony's delight. I won't bore you with the detail of the meeting itself; I know that not everypony loves to get caught up in the minutia of planning events. The only thing of real note that happened during the meeting was that I noticed the mayor seemed to be especially... touchy-feely today.
She once left her hoof on Ink Well's shoulder for longer than strictly necessary or polite society might dictate was appropriate before removing it as if suddenly remembering something. Ink Well didn't even notice (it seemed like she was used to it, but I may have misread the look she wore) and took it in stride. When the mayor turned her attentions towards me, I could tell it just a half-hearted attempt, something borne out of habit than true interest. As I read down a list of materials, using a hoof to keep my place, she laid a hoof next to mine and gently rubbed against me. I wouldn't say that it was unpleasant, but there was just no... no heart behind it. It left me more sad than afraid or uncomfortable.
Thinking back to the night I saw her through Vinyl's window, I recalled how even though she seemed ready and eager to be with Caboose, there was a sadness in her eyes. I was unsure how to proceed without perhaps leading her on, so I chose to ignore the action, and she removed her hoof from my foreleg after a moment. The meeting continued like that, with her making several moves that might be construed as interest, but there was never really a followup. The moves weren't too overt; indeed, they were just shy of something I might have noticed a few years back, but after Cady had brought my new, developing sense to my attention, it was obvious now.
Mayor Mare was lonely.
(\ /)
I left the meeting with the mayor, feeling subdued and thoughtful. Looking back at the town hall, I could see her standing at the window, looking over all her citizens, a smile of pride masking an underlying sadness. Seeing me watching her, she gave a little wave, which I returned before turning to walk away. I resolved that if any good was going to come out of this new ability, it would be to help at least her. I would need to consult with a more experienced pony, but first, I had a promise to Trixie to keep.
Walking up to the fountain near the marketplace where I had last seen her, I found Trixie pacing in front of her wagon, which was now returned to its travel form. It sounded like she was practicing things to say, and was so absorbed, that she didn't even notice my approach until I was right in front of her. She let out a shriek of surprise when she finally took notice of me, which she tried to pass off as an exclamation of mild surprise. “Ah! Twilight Sparkle. Are you ready to guide Trixie?”
Aligning myself in the direction of the quarry, I nodded. “Let's go. We've got lots to talk about on the way. Did you know that our quarry's granite has an unusual percentage of quartz inclusion? It's what accounts for the abundance of low to medium grade gems in the area. It's especially rich in amethyst, citrine, and rose quartz.”
As we walked, I continued talking about the local geology while watching her from the corner of my eye. It was easy to see that she was distracted, and honestly, I couldn't blame her. Maud was obviously a pony of untested depths. Even Pinkie Pie had often said that of her three sisters, Maud was the one most prone to making observations of surprising profundity (though she didn't use quite the same verbiage). On the few occasions I had to meet her, I was left speechless at her... intensity (choice of poetry notwithstanding). She seemed to embody the phrase, “still waters run deep.”
Trixie one the other hoof, seemed to be all about surface appearances. Not physical appearances, though I'm sure that factored in at some percentage, but more at making others see what she wanted them to see. She was loud, brash, energetic, and often abrasive, which made it as difficult to see under her projected image as it was Maud, who was her antithesis. But just like Fluttershy, whose timid demeanor often hid a fierce protective streak, perhaps there was more to Trixie than just the showmare? For the sake of any future with Maud, I certainly hoped this to be the case.
We arrived at the quarry just as I noticed the sky beginning to cloud over. What was the weather supposed to be like today? It was then that I realized that in my hurry to get ready for the meeting, I had forgotten to check. Nutbunnies! How could I have forgotten something so basic? Well, we'd just have to make this quick, I guess.
I was startled out of my thoughts as Trixie gasped. Looking down into the open pit to see what had caught her attention, I almost smiled to myself. Pinkie and her sister were down there, alright. Pinkie herself was lounging on her back on a picnic blanket next to the small lake that had formed at the bottom of the pit, while Maud was bent over, no doubt examining a rock of some sort on the ground. The angle afforded us a rather... opportunistic view of the mare's backside that I'm sure many stallions and mares would love to have, smock or no.
Rather than walk all that way down to the lakeside, I teleported the both of us more than halfway down the spiraling path into the pit. “Hello! Pinkie, Maud!” I shouted and started continuing down the path, Trixie in silent tow.
Pinkie waved to us, shouting in return, “Hi, Twilight! Hi Trixie!”
Rather than follow the rest of the path, I decided to take the faster route and slide down the rest of the way. I came to a stop a few trots from their blanket. I was close enough now to see that Maud was indeed looking at a rock; or more specifically, two rocks: Boulder and another, this one a chunk of milky quartz.
“What brings you down here, Twilight?” Pinkie asked.
I nodded over towards Trixie, who was trying to find a safe path to slide down like I had. “I was just showing Trixie around. She expressed some interest in the quarry earlier, so I promised to show it to her.” I looked up at the sky again, noting that the gathering clouds had turned a shade darker since I had last looked at them not five minutes ago. “But it looks like we'll have to postpone the tour. I didn't catch the weather report this morning, Pinkie. Was it scheduled to rain today?”
The pink mare shrugged. “Dunno. I never look at it; just rely on my Pinkie Sense.”
My eye twitched a little at the mention of Pinkie's... talent for prediction, but I managed to keep from flipping out. Looking up again, I asked, “Well, what do you think? Should we head back or what?”
Pinkie looked to the sky and shrugged again. “Maud? You're talking to the expert here. What does she say?”
Maud picked up Boulder and the piece of milky quartz and held them up to her ear. “Albion says that it's getting ready to rain pretty hard here. The Everfree is sending some storm clouds our way,” she replied in her flat, monotone voice.
My ears flattened as I asked the question whose answer I just knew I wouldn't like. “And Albion is...”
Maud held out her hoof with the two rocks on it. “Boulder's old college friend. They've had some really wild times.”
I could feel my eye twitch again, but decided not to pursue it, both for my own sanity, as well as the prospect of finding shelter from the coming storm. Trixie had finally made it down the side of the pit and walked up to us as I said, “Rrriiight. Well, we better take her warning, then before we get caught out. Let's get back to town.”
Trixie's jaw dropped, and she whimpered as she looked back up at the ledge of the pit almost a hundred trots above us. Maud interjected, something I'm sure not many ponies have ever seen. “Albion says that we'll never make it back to town before it rains.”
“Applejack has a storage barn not too far from here,” Pinkie said, pointing towards the Apple farm. “We could maybe make it there in time.”
With a shrug, I replied, “Well, it's better than nothing. It'll be faster if I lift you three-” Maud coughed politely, but firmly and pointedly held out her hoof which still held Boulder and... Albion. “Err, that is, the five of you, then teleport myself up. Any objections?” Pinkie looked excited at the prospect, while Maud was (as expected) indifferent, but Trixie looked understandable uncomfortable. I laid a comforting hoof on her shoulder. “Don't worry, Trixie. As long as you can keep from casting any magic while I lift you, our auras won't touch.”
While it wasn't all that unusual for unicorn auras to touch, doing so while another unicorn's aura is surrounding you can feel a bit... intimate. A sort of biofeedback loop is created, which can be pretty... intense. Or so I'm told. Having never experienced it myself, I have only anecdotal evidence (along with several dozen thick books and studies) of the phenomenon. Needless to say, among unicorns, such an act was seen as a very intimate action.
Still, time was of the essence, and we couldn't afford the luxury of walking back up at our leisure. I surrounded all three ponies in a telekinetic field, and quickly sent them back all the way up to the edge of the pit. Trixie was still nervous and was stiff as a board, while Pinkie was whooping and hollering, doing acrobatic flips within the field like a porpoise. Maud, of course, was unmoving, but more relaxed than Trixie. With them safely up and out of the pit, I used my magic to wrap up their blanket and picnic basket and teleported up to their sides.
“Let's go find that barn before-” I never got any further as a peal of thunder boomed through the skies. As we ran, Pinkie leading the way, the first, fat drops of hot rain hit our coats, and I knew my interesting day was nowhere near ending.
Author's Note
So, yeah. I guess I just needed some time to sort out just where I was going with this one instead of cancelling it. I hope its return makes up for the long break I took, along with the fact that I've decided to revive this story instead of continuing Amore Obligato. I still intend to do something with that one, but for now, I want to work on this one while my muse is cooperating to make this happen.
Twilight's Shipping Goggles
Chapter 8: An Evening Indoors
TWILIGHT'S SHIPPING GOGGLES
Chapter 8: An Evening Indoors
We made it into the barn just as the sky really opened up, drenching everything. Being a barn far from the main house, there was of course, no electricity, meaning that Trixie and I had to keep our horns lit in order to see anything. The sight which greeted us was... off-putting, to say the least. Innocuous farming equipment hung from the walls as well as parked willy-nilly, but the dim glow of our horns created a rather unsettling atmosphere. Blades and sharp edges gleamed in the murk, ominous shapes appeared to skulk in the shadows as the light sources moved, and the pounding rain on the slate roof could not completely cover the creaks of the settling building.
Trixie looked as nervous as I felt, but Maud was as blasé of her surroundings as ever, and Pinkie had a disquieting gleam in her eyes.
“T- T- Trixie thinks that we should maybe keep going. We are trespassing, after all.” She said as she took in all the ways we could get hurt, no doubt. Turning to me, she asked, “C- can you teleport us someplace safer- Trixie means, more comfortable?”
I shook my head in the negative. “If I'm not teleporting to someplace within sight, then I need to know exactly my destination as well as my current location. Teleporting is an exacting science, if I mess up even a little, we could end up merged with a solid object, floating high up off the ground, or any other number of dangerous situations. The danger is exacerbated if magically exhausted; like if you had just teleported a bunch of ponies even just a short distance, say, up the side of a quarry?” Trixie shuddered at the thought of the fates I described, and to be honest, I'd be a little worried at a pony who wouldn't shudder at that. I looked over to Pinkie and asked, “Where exactly are we, Pinkie? I have a rough idea, but I've never seen this barn, or even heard Applejack talk of it before.”
Pinkie stood on her hind legs and leaned on a barrel as if posing for a movie poster or something. “Oh, Applejack doesn't like to talk about this place because she doesn't want Dashie knowing about it. This is where she stores some of her cider. You know, the hard kind,” she said with a wink at the end.
It was then that I noticed the spigot on the front of the barrel as well as the definite alcohol smell in the air. I facehoofed and dragged my hoof down my face, no doubt distorting it terribly, but I didn't care how silly I looked right then. “You brought us here deliberately, didn't you?” I asked.
Instantly, she was at my side, gathering me up in a sort of side-huddle. “Of course I did. It was the closest shelter from the storm!” Indeed, the rain was coming down pretty hard out there, now. The noise of the rain on the slate tile roof was almost deafening in the large space. She then whispered into my ear, “Besides, look at them!” She let me turn my head a few degrees before snapping it back to look her directly in the eyes once more. “No, no! Don't look! You'll make them all awkward. They need some time to get to know each other. Besides, a little liquid courage would help them both a lot.” With that, she bounced over again to the barrel and produced four mugs from Light knows where, filling them up to the brim with frothy hard cider.
Even with my dislike for certain fermented drinks (I prefer a nice chardonnay or a snifter of Cowadonian single malt whiskey, if I'm to have alcohol of any kind), the aroma was rather enticing. Curse the Apple family's facile handling of their apple products; it's enough to drive a pony to... well, when in Ponyville. Still... “Pinkie, is Applejack going to be okay with us drinking this? I mean, this is her private stash about which even Rainbow hasn't the first clue.”
Pinkie waved off my concern a little too casually. “Oh, she'll be fine with it. It's for a good cause, and it's not like where getting into her private stash of applejack, or ice cider, or anything.”
“Er, what 'good cause' would that be, if Trixie may be so bold as to ask?” the showmare inquired.
Already, I could see this hasty plan of Pinkie's crumbling, thanks to her lack of forethought. A mare like Trixie was used to putting up fronts, so it was only natural that she would be able to see through them fairly easily as well, especially if it involved activities which would involve bringing down her defenses. She may only be slightly raising one eyebrow at her, but I could tell that Trixie was suspicious, though she was hesitant to say anything negative about Pinkie in front of Maud. Heaving a mental sigh, I said, “I think she's referring to keeping us warm after being drenched in the rain. I have to agree that I doubt Applejack would have any objections, as long as we moderate our consumption.”
Still doubtful, Trixie shrugged and took a drink. “Trixie supposes- stars and moon, that's good!”
Maud lowered her own mug and gave a slight nod. “I agree. It's very... appley.” She looked down at Boulder and... Albion (I'll never get used to this, I swear), each with an empty thimble of their own next to them and added, “No more for you, Boulder. You know you can't hold your alcohol, especially around pretty silicon-oxygen tetrahedra.”
Trixie and I just stared at her for a moment, before the former cleared her throat. “So, what brings you to Ponyville, Maud? Trixie was here on business, but now that it's concluded, she is free to do whatever strikes her fancy.”
Pinkie looked dubious at her proclamation. “Are you sure you're finished, Trixie? I mean, I know Ponyville doesn't look very big, but there's more ponies here than you might think.”
“Trixie said she has concluded her business here.” she said through gritted teeth.
It was very subtle, but I could see Maud's eyes widen a bit at Trixie's tone. Thinking quickly, I said, “Trixie, why don't you keep Maud entertained for a minute, there's something I need to talk to Pinkie about... in private.” Rushing over to my friend, I pushed her behind a wheat thresher, out of view of the other two ponies. Checking to make sure they weren't following, I looked back at Pinkie and whispered, “What are you doing, Pinkie? Trixie has a hard enough time relating to ponies without others reminding her of her failings!”
Pinkie crossed her forelegs across her chest and gave me a glare, something I was unused to seeing from the normally jovial mare. “I just want Maud to know what she may be getting into. That is my sister out there.”
I could tell right off that there was something... different about Pinkie. Her eyes, normally full of laughter and joy had a hard glint to them, and there was a menacing air about her. For the first time since I met her, I was... I was afraid of Pinkie Pie. I reflexively sat back on my haunches and leaned away from her (I could only imagine how wide my eyes had gotten). “Pinkie, listen. I just-”
“No, you listen, Twilight Sparkle,” she said- no, growled as she leaned forward, forcing me back further and poked me in the chest with a forehoof. “I know you just got your shipping goggles, and they're super neat-o-the-bee's-knees-cat's-meow, but if you even think of using them to get Maud in a relationship, I will do something, and I don't know what it is. My family's happiness is my responsibility, and that means the Pie sisters are off limits. Hooves. Off. Is that clear?”
It wasn't just the frightening threat I could hear in her tone, but the almost literal fire in her eyes that had me all but paralyzed. I fell onto my back with my tail between my legs and swallowed hard. I wasn't sure, but I thought I could detect a hint of urine in the air, and hoped that I hadn't just wet myself. My throat was so constricted, that I doubt I could get much more than a mumble out, so I instead opted for a vigorous nod of assent.
Instantly, Pinkie's attitude changed back to that of her usual cheer, and she picked me up and set me on my shaky hooves. She patted me on the head like a dog and said, “Glad we got that settled. I'd hate to have to lose one of my bestest ever friends in the whole universe!” She grabbed me in a hug that I could tell was genuine, but it still couldn't dispel the distinct discomfort of her lingering threat, though I could feel that she was sorry that she did it, but felt it was necessary. She held on to me as she led us back to Trixie and her sister, who seemed to be getting on well. “So! Who's up for a game of charades?”
(\ /)
Early evening turned into night, and still the rain poured down. There had been a few times where it seemed to be letting up, but that only lasted for a few minutes before it seemed a fresh raincloud had been unzipped, letting all its water out at once, and we were back to waiting and passing the time with games.
Pinkie pretty much ran the show, I'm sad to say. Not that she doesn't know a thing or two about entertaining (it's pretty much her stock and trade, to be fair), but she always found a way to point out one of Trixie's failings, whether it be her superior attitude, her thoughtlessness, or even just something innocuous, like her aversion to dirt (honestly, what self-respecting pony doesn't want to avoid dirt when possible, unless it's their job?). With each flaw brought to the fore, I could see Trixie getting frustrated at having her dirty laundry aired just so her nose could be rubbed in it.
Maud was... well, she was as difficult to read as ever. I wouldn't say that she was disturbed by what Pinkie was bringing out in Trixie, but neither was she all that enticed by what she saw. I don't think her dispassionate demeanor was a front of some sort, but it did make me question what could have turned out a pony like this.
The charades game was abandoned after three rounds, because Pinkie kept coming up with subjects that made Trixie uncomfortable. The first one was a movie that I had guessed correctly, which turned out to be Apology . It pretty much went downhill from there. Pinkie's second pantomime was also for a movie, this time, Something Wicked This Way Comes . The one that killed the game however, was when Maud correctly guessed that Pinkie was miming “insincerity”. How she got that from Pinkie chopping down a tree and turning it into a wooden duck is just beyond me. Chalk it up to a personal shared experience, I guess. The only high point for Trixie was when she mimed the Filly Jewel song, My Life.
After Pinkie's third mime, Trixie silently stormed off to a corner of the barn. Getting up, I said, “I better go talk to her.” As I left, I saw out of the corner of my eye, Maud give Pinkie a slightly narrowed-eyed look that sent shudders down my spine. I guess these shipping goggles were good for something, even if it was just being able to tell when a pony like Maud was upset.
As I approached Trixie's spot, I could hear her sniffling, and saw her wipe her nose with her foreleg. “Have you come to taunt the Abject and Pitiable Trixie, as well?” she asked without turning to face me.
My heart broke at the sound of her misery. “No. I came to... to apologize to you for the way Pinkie's been acting, and explain why she's been doing it. I'm hoping that it will show you that she's not a bad mare, just-”
“Just what?” Trixie asked in a vicious whisper. “Trixie has already apologized, and she has accepted. What more does she desire to make amends?”
I sighed and pawed at the ground, exposing fresh earth as I made a small divot. It's amazing how interesting the ground can seem when you feel unable to meet a pony's gaze. “She's trying to protect her sister.” Trixie noticeably stiffened at that. “She knows that you're interested in Maud, and wants her to know what she would be getting if she pursued a relationship with you.” I waited a moment to see if she would reply, then sighed when nothing was forthcoming. “She really isn't a bad mare, just... really intense about certain subjects; family being one of them.” I didn't go into the conversation I had with the mare behind the thresher, because... well, to be frank, I was (and still am) a little ashamed of the less than charitable thoughts I had of Pinkie following it. I doubt I'll ever look at her the same way again, and only time will tell if that's a good thing or bad.
“D- does this mean that Maud really does feel the same as Trixie?”
The question startled me out of my musings, and I shrugged, even though her back was still to me. I regret that I was so wrapped up in my own thoughts, that I had missed the blatant admission in Trixie's words. “Hard to say. Maud is not exactly the most demonstrative of ponies I've ever met.”
Trixie turned her head to regard me with one eyebrow up questioningly. “Are you sure we are speaking of the same mare? Trixie has never met a more open and honest pony in all her travels.”
Needless to say, her reply took me off guard. If I were asked to describe Maud Pie in a single word, open would not be it. I thought back on all the time I've spent with her, and the only time I could remember seeing clearly how she felt was when she spoke about her feelings for Pinkie at the train station during her first visit to Ponyville. I thought perhaps Trixie was seeing things that weren't there, or reading more into the situation than was reasonably warranted. Then again, maybe I wasn't looking hard enough? With a mental sigh, I resolved to do just that and soldiered on. “Maybe she is, Trixie; I don't know. In any case, I doubt you'll ever know unless you ask her. The thing is however, that I also doubt you'll do so without winning Pinkie over to your side. Those two are closer than a covalent bond. If you want to woo Maud, you'll have to work on Pinkie; if for no other reason, than to keep her out of your mane.”
Trixie lowered her eyes in thought and brought a hoof up to her chin. After a moment, she looked at me and asked, “You could not do Trixie- as the old gray mares say- a solid?”
I suppressed a shudder at the intensity I had invoked in the pink mare not even an hour prior and looked over at the sisters who had started a fire to keep the chill of the coming night at bay. They appeared to be talking amicably, but I could see the tense set of Pinkie's shoulders which indicated that she was being stubborn about something (three guesses what it was). Though the fire cheerily warmed the area, there was still a definite chill in the air that had nothing to do with the weather. Maud was... now that I had some time and distance to really observe her, I could see that even though her eyes were the same half-lidded position they always seemed to be, there was a hard glint to them, and the usually neutral line that was her mouth had slightly down-turned corners. Blast. This whole endeavor was falling apart faster than my sixth grade AP physics project. I just hoped there wouldn't be a runaway cascade effect resulting in a new volcano forming this time, but given how far we were from any seismically active fault lines, the fear of that was thankfully small.
A sigh behind me reminded me that there was a pony's happiness at stake here, and I knew that it was time for me to mare up. Using my magic, I picked Trixie up off the ground and set her on her hooves, brushing the dirt and stray hay stalks from her coat. “Alright, Trixie. Here's the deal. You're going to go over there and talk to Maud. I mean really talk to her. Start out with things that interest the both of you; find some common ground. Treat her nicely, but don't patronize her. When she talks, listen to her, don't try to turn everything into something about you, but above all, be yourself. Remember that you're trying to convince her that you're somepony with whom she'd want to spend all her free time. If she doesn't like the real you, then it would only end in tears later on down the road when you've both invested too much into this.” I tried to remember any other romantic advice my mom and Cady told me growing up, but it had been so long ago, and disused, that my memories on the matter were a bit rusty, to say the least. If only I had the courage back then... No. No dwelling on the past and the regrets that come with it; there's too much going on right now. I can always wallow in self pity later.
Trixie looked dubious of my (borrowed) advice and bit her lower lip. “But what about... the loud one?” she whispered.
“You let me worry about Pinkie,” I replied, trying to look more determined than I felt. “I'll run interference as best I can; hopefully give you a real shot at this. Just... don't be afraid, and don't forget to be yourself. You want her to like you , not the image you present.”
Inhaling Deeply, Trixie nodded and walked back to the sisters. I myself, let out a deep breath and did my best to gird my loins for the coming ordeal. I had made a promise to Trixie, and by Light, I was going to do it. I just hoped that Pinkie didn't end up hating me before the day was over.
I walked back into the circle of light, relishing the added warmth of the fire and sat down between Pinkie and Trixie, opposite to Maud. The silence between the mares was palpable, the tension thick enough to cut with a knife. I was searching for something to discuss, hopefully something that would segue nicely for Trixie into a subject she and Maud would enjoy, when I suddenly remembered something she had casually mentioned back during her second visit to Ponyville. “Trixie, I seem to recall you mentioning working on a rock farm once.”
Maud quirked an eyebrow at her as the showmare replied, “Yes. It was the hardest Trixie ever remembers working. Iggy was stern and serious, but more than fair in his dealings with Trixie. Without him, she would have never earned enough bits to... er, make her purchase.”
“Iggy?” Pinkie asked.
Trixie waved her hoof in a circle dismissively. “Well, his proper name was Igneous Rock, but Trixie always called him Iggy in her head. It made him not seem quite so... angry all the time to her. Sadly, Trixie was constantly making mistakes, making her further indebted to him and his family.”
Pinkie's mouth dropped open like a gaping fish. “You worked on Igneous Rock's farm?”
“Trixie does not lie... anymore,” she added after a moment. “If she said she worked on Igneous Rock's farm, then she worked on Igneous Rock's farm. What of it? Do you know him? Is he famous as a rock farmer or something?”
“I think what has taken Pinkie by surprise is that Igneous Rock is our father,” Maud said
Honestly, this surprised me just as much. I mean, what are the odds of Trixie coming to work for Pinkie's father?
“He- he is?” Trixie asked. She squinted at them both, then examined them with one eye, as if that would help. “Now that you mention it, there is a resemblance; mostly around the muzzle area.”
Seeing the opening presented, I leapt at the opportunity. “Wow, what are the odds? So, how did you like farming with their father, Trixie?”
Giving a small shrug, she replied, “Like Trixie said, it was hard work, but very rewarding. At least, it was until Limestone started getting upset at how much Iggy was paying Trixie. She took over the job of overseeing Trixie, and nearly worked her to death, all while lowering her pay. Finally, she could take no more and left in the middle of the night, leaving a note of apology for the abruptness of her departure. Trixie does not regret the time spent there, just wishes it hadn't gotten so unpleasant at the end.”
Pinkie was starting to smile again; a genuine smile this time, not the conniving one she had been wearing, and Maud was... was smiling, too? Her expressions are pretty subtle, but judging by the set of her shoulders, the way her tail lazily lashed about, and the lack of intensity in her eyes, it would appear she was almost smiling. In fact, on any other pony, I would think that they were amused.
The tension in the room seemed to seep out after that. Pinkie was far more civil to Trixie, and Trixie even seemed to be enjoying herself. We all talked about inconsequential things, our first visits to Ponyville (even Trixie got that out in the open, telling things from her perspective), and our initial thoughts about the ponies here. It turns out that I was not alone in my antecedent notions about the sanity of the locals (or lack thereof). Trixie thought much the same as I, and even Maud thought our (I had long since come to think of Ponyville as my home) sanity was “a bit too friable to be healthy”, but were “mostly harmless”.
I could feel my energy reserves building up again, but I was still iffy about trying a blind teleport, especially one this far from the library, and there was no indication of the rain letting up any time soon. Instead, I settled on a message spell to Spike, so that he would not worry. I conjured a glowing white bird made of magic and mentally gave it the message, before sending it off; telling him I might not be in tonight, and that he was in charge of the library until I return. After a moment of thought, I sent another to the Cakes, in case they were getting worried about Pinkie's prolonged absence. Then again, knowing them, they were probably enjoying the peace. With that matter resolved, I settled in for what promised to be a long night. I just hope this works out well. It was my first real attempt at... er, shipping.
Author's Note
Well, this took forever and a day. Seriously, I have no excuse for how long this took to release. A good 80% of this was done before this week, but I just hadn't the time, nor creative energy to do anything with it. I know, I know, it's the weakest chapter in the story to date (possibly the weakest chapter of anything I've ever released), but I couldn't stand seeing it collect virtual dust on my hard drive anymore. Also, I figured you'd all want something rather than wait for me to get up off my butt to... well, yeah. Anywho, I'll try to put these out in a more timely fashion, even if it means going off of Skyrim, cold turkey. Just, don't hold your breath for the next installment. Never let it be said that I'm trying to kill my audience with anything but d'aaawww...
