Chapters Spike sat slumped over Rarity with Twilight glaring at him worse than the midday sun.
Pinkies mane flattened AJ raised the brim of her hat Fluttershy ducked and Rainbow just smiled as she was three sheets to the wind.
Twilights answer came from the fillies "He was defending himself".
The Crusaders stood up and blocked Twilights advances their eyes full of resolve they saw it all before and they weren't backing down.
"If you just stop experimenting fer one minute and see what's going on you'ed know!"
Scootaloo struck next "Spike's been chased all over town by those guys all morning long it was totally uncool".
Sweetie bleated "Spike did good doing what he did he didn't want you or Rarity to worry about his problems with this stuff".
"Spike is this true?" Twilights mood softened a bit.
Spike sighed as he hiked a foot over his knee and looked up at her then eyed the grass around his clawed toes.
"Yeah. . .Those guys were all over me today - yesterday - the whole month before it's like never ending horse apples and
Apple Bloom smirked "After what you did ta my big brother Fluttershy might have to get some hired hooves ta get the job done".
A smack could be heard as Apple Jack swatted Apple Bloom on the backside of her bow.
"We'll have none of that little filly, I'm sure Mac can plow well enough on his own!"
A thud could be heard as Fluttershy fainted, Big Mac just shyly smiled "Eeyep" it didn't last long.
Rarity looked at Rainbow Dash stuffing her face with cake "Well Rainbow are you just going to hog that cake or are you going to leave some for the rest of us?"
Rainbow opened her mouth letting the marble chocolate fudge goo ooze out of her mouth grinning the whole time.
"How uncouth It's no wonder you're still unattached".
Rainbow swallowed grinning more "That's how I like it".
Pinkie bounced "I like cake too !"
"What ever". (Who said that?)
"You can't leave a rampaging dragon in a public park!" a reporter screamed.
The pile of cameras grew as the uninvited guests were escorted beyond the hedges of the park.
"You can't do this I'm Note Bug from the Ponyville Daily press".
Push - push - shove - shove. . .
The Royal Guard looked at the stallion with a wicked smile a wonderfully wicked smile.
"You can get poked with my pike or get roasted by my buddy with the scaly butt over there".
"But he incinerated the others". cried Mr. Bug.
The guard chuckled "You want to join them?"
The Stallion glared "I want your name I want your number!"
The Guard smiled and with sarcasm " I'm not your type but where you're going you'll meet somepony special. . . I'm sure of it".
The sun continued to warm the picknic lazy was on the menu the now Spike was cuddled with his mare as she read the latest fashion magazine, twilight was reading listening to Spikes purring,
Twilight looked at Pinkies odd zoned out behavior " What's the matter? You're acting . . . well you're doing nothing".
She put a hoof to Twilights lips "Shiiiiiish I think it's purple I'm listening to Spike sing to the baby" Pinkie whispered.
"Now what's that?" Twilight whispered back, "Spike?" Pinkie only smiled.
Fluttershy butted in "Excuse me but she's right I noticed the singing calms down the little one so she doesn't claw Rarity and eviscerate her from the inside out displacing her intestines and burrowing through her spleen or other sensitive organs . . . sorry if I'm getting too graphic. . .blood and guts very painfully removed with razor sharp baby claws. . . just to let you know. . .If you don't mind - If it's Ok?"
'Sure glad no pony else could hear the Flutter squeak'.
Twilight had to know more she started taking more notes listening to the newly discovered data in song Scribble scribble
The castles crystal cold floors greeted the trio that was Spike Twilight and Rarity.
Twilight had the picknic basket emptied on the table it's contents sorted along with the cameras and note pads from the paparazzi.
Spike put away and cleaned the tools of consumption as Twilight cleared the cameras and pads of sensitive information.
"Spike get Rarity and the others we need to get out of town. . .NOW!"
At Canterlot castle Celestia waited for Twilight and the main six the guards opening the gilded doors to the celestial court.
Twilight trotted in followed by four of the main six. Cowpony The Fun Loud one The cute Shy one. . .
Celestia tilted her head as she peeked at the crew minus two she then noticed. . .
Apple Jack had reddened baggy sleep deprived eyes her trot was tired and uneven.
Pinkie Pies more than awkward smile as if she was keeping too many Pinkie promises of less than humble happenings.
If only Rainbows smirk plastered on her muzzle would spill the beans on the whole enchilada covered in hot hot hot sauce.
Fluttershy pranced along in a dream state her wings popping up at random moments a solid blush on her cheeks.
Twilight and Celestia waited . . . "Ahem Twilight where's Spike and Rarity?" Twilight was ready to retreat for a quick search until
finally Rarity strutted into view glowing like Lunas moons soft light, on her back was Spikes worn out husk he was draped over
her cloak like a wet wrung out wash rag with hearts in his eyes and a drunken smile on his snout.
If a changling was within a thousand hooves the overdose would cause his bug head to explode twice
Twilight fumbled with the words announcing "Thank you for seeing us on such a short notice".
With her magic she gave the guards the notes for the investigators Celestia could only stare at the bunch of ponies and drake.
"Splendid - My investigative staff will handle the details" Sun butt just blinked her eyes" I know Spike and the Elemen...Rarity were an item But why are you all well um... So um, Trouble on the train over?"
Twilight coughed "Well it's a long story, We shouldn't bother you with the boring details"
Celestia slyly smiled "Oh that's quite all right - Do tell - Please we all need to unwind after a long evenings journey , Tea?"
So Twilight and the bunch sat down to tea except Spike who continued to wrap around Rarity like an old shawl snuggling her every curve.
oooOOOoooOOOoooOOOoooOOOoooOOOOOOooo
Trains wait for nopony the Princess of friendship had no friends when it came to trains and pushy conductors.
"Twilight my dear" Rarity complained "I just finished my bath and now you're having us take a train to see Princess Celestia what in Manehatten is going on?"
"It must be from the notes from those pesky reporters had on us" Spike huffed as he lugged the baggage "Isn't that right Twilight?"
Apple Jack and Rainbow looked over their withers behind and over the anonymous crowds along the platform, the only strange pony they saw was Pinkie at the concession stand buying a few papers and munchies for the trip, bits flew and hooves flashed as she hurried to get on the train behind the others.
The train lurched along the tracks bellowing steam kicking up dust over the ties and rails its pony cargo swaying and bumping along.
"Tickets" the conductor wailed "Show your tickets" his eyes were coldly scanning the passengers under his sweat stained cap.
The group held out their tickets one by one the conductor clipped the coupons edge "your Highness" he spoke coldly.
"Why thank you" Twilight said with a smile her eyes sparkling like the reflection of the so many lanterns lighting the passenger car.
"Your Highness you are sitting in the wrong seat" the conductor pointed at a splintered stool in the corner.
"Your Highness you may rule whatever or whoever you do in that crystal castle of yours but on this train your purple butt goes where your ticket has on it and it says ECONOMY CLASS!"
Twilights ears lowered and her wings drooped "Yes- Mister conductor. . ."
The bunch just looked in collective shock as the Princess mopped shyly to her stool in the corner picking off some splinters before sitting.
Rarity seeing the mockery of royalty came to the rescue batting her eyes at the conductor she said with a flirting smile
"Sir I can't help to notice how well you carry out your avocation and if I could submit if I might that her Highness is accustomed to more
The conductor cut her off "Lady you're lucky I didn't charge you for that pet DRAGON" he looked again at her ticket and clipped it twice
Rainbow couldn't stand it anymore she burst out laughing holding her sides rolling in her seat tears flowing across her face.
Rarity huffed and turned away from the "Irritating little MULE!" as Spike counted the bags laying around their seat.
The conductor clipped his way down the isle and out the rear door with a loud slam. The snickering and giggles died down as the train climbed the tracks chugging along through the mountains.
Pinkie pulled out her newspapers and snacks getting comfortable munching away she rolled the tabloids to the big
"The Daily Hay Bucket" She read out loud "What Princess of Friendship in Equestria is carrying someponys illegitimate foal? page two".
"Big Mac of Ponyvilles own Sweet Apple Acres abducted by aliens for probing and other intergalactic experiments Page seven".
"Dangerous dragon seen attacking family pick nick chasing foals and leaving smoke trails and blood - Story pending conformation".
"The battles of the NOT so Elements of Harmony and the front page Raritys secret what new fashion secret is she hiding under her hats and cloaks the fashion world is waiting to see!"
Twilight looked in disgust at Pinkie "Don't you think those papers distort the facts just to sell more papers?"
Pinkie smiled putting on her editors cap and ruffled sleeve protectors "No news that's fit to print I'm just puzzled a bit".
"So Spikey's Raritys fashion secret and Big Macs stuff makes you an alien but you don't look like one but you do experiments
AJ gazed over to Pinkie and her papers "My big brother probed, now who in tarnation came up with that dumb idea? Twilight?"
Rainbow giggled "I'm sure glad I'm not in the papers like you guys" she eyed the odd couple and Twilight saying with a wink
Twilight moved back with the others from her economy class stool " Everypony we got to keep everything QT, With all the newspaper trouble and the paparazzi we need to be more careful".
She reached into the under seat bin for a small box opening it she held out a batch of chains with multicolored gems affixed to golden rings
"No Spike you can't eat them there enchanted with the spell of shadows an invisibility spell put it on and tap once to vanish and again to reappear can't be simpler than that. . ."
TAP ON - TAP OFF, TAP ON - TAP OFF , Tap on Tap Off the Tapper!" Pinkie sung the smile on her face said it all, Nopony's home please leave a message at the beep'.
......../)O.O(.........
Rarity looked at the shadow jewelry as Spikey slipped it around her neck and passing one to each of his companions
the train continued chugging along , ponies were zoning out in their seats half asleep and that included the Elements and drake.
The train cars rattled and bumped the door on the far end creaked open and a stallion with a camera poked his body inside and looked off
to the sides scanning for his prize he continued looking for his target , That big scoop or shot of the day.
"Ordinary passengers no Royalty no Elements and no Dragon!" he said in disappointment "must be in another car".
Spike Rarity and the others quietly watched the P.O.ed paparazzi trot past them into the next train car.
Twilight whispered "see it works great and stays effective for hours. A small giggle came from the business class seats .
"shiisssssh"
"STOP that!"
"slurp..."
"Ha ha ha ha ha ha "
"Sheeeesh"
"that tickles!"
If Twilight was visible the whole world would see the blush on her royal muzzle. "Spike! Rarity! STOP that- somepony might hear you!"
"I didn't . . ."
"SLURP!"
Fits of giggles filled the air as the two or more took advantage of the shadow gems . . .
"Squish!"
"Slurp"
"PHriiiiitttt"
The noise was most unflattering the humor wasn't lost to Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie whos laughter and farting was added to the
Even Apple Jack was caught up in the sounds of love and passing gas chuckling quietly to get all.
Twilight was besides herself with her best friends engaged in a dual of obnoxious noises between fits of laughter, she could feel the tears of
humor rolling down her cheeks as she too laughed at the audio show, ponies in the nearby sections of the car started to search for where
the ghosts with the strange laughter was coming from only for it to fade away in the rumble of train wheels on sections of tracks below.
Twilight finished casting her noise control spell and sat stifling her bout of the giggles she looked at the time only four more hours to go Twilight laid back on her economy class stool and dosed off to the muffled noises of her friends still having a few more laughs
Ponies exited the train in confusion their belongings switched amongst each other fru fru hats on stallions and
Pinkie and Rainbow watched with prankful pride as the befuddled passengers exit to the platform trading belongings to the rightful owners
Fluttershy was sitting in a state of blissful shock the look on her face of a mare who heard too much.
Apple Jack sat her eyes bloodshot from the lack of sleep "that sure was a noisy rodeo she rode that little doggy till he couldn't go no more.
"Rainbow Pinkie how was your night?" Twilight asked.
"Couldn't be better!" their smiles really could tell all.
Twilight called for Spike but Rarity answered "He's quite all right dear though I think in his present state I don't think he can answer".
"Darn Rarity what did you do break him?"
"Apple Jack" Rarity cooed "He couldn't be better after all a lady and her drake have their needs".
A loud purr could be heard near her voice, She came into view her fur matted and sweaty her mane all out of shape her lip stick and her eye
"Oh dear I look like a disgusting monstrosity !"
Pinkie giggled "was that cake frosting?"
Rainbow laughed "Oh look Fluttershy fainted"
Twilight looked at the box that held the Gems of Shadow. . . on the lid were these words
WARNING DO NOT EXPOSE TO DRAGONS, PREGNANT OR LACTATING MARES OR FOALS UNDER THE AGE OF THREE
THIS STATEMENT WAS NOT EVALUATED BY THE EQUESTRIAN MEDICAL ASSOCATION
The FLIM FLAM NOVILTY CO. INC. LLC,
The Awesome Powers of Ice Cream.
The Awesome Powers of Ice Cream
The office was unlit filled with shadows and shadowy figures some waiting others fidgeting one was not a happy camper.
"So let me get this straight you followed them onto the train and lost them? - What kind of an idiot do you take me for?
"Yes Sir?"
"Did this foal follow your instructions?"
"Yes and he failed it's all his fault I should of done the job myself".
A bolt of magic sounded followed by a scream the body fell like a sack of ACME anvils.
"Thirteen has just retired you will now succeed where he failed I don't like bad news do you understand number eighty six?
A door opened and the pony behind the desk pointed to the exit smoke still wafting around its horn,
"Don't disappoint me I'm sure you wont like early retirement like agent thirteen".
" Yes 'O' ".
"That's 'BIG - O' to you, You shall carry out the plan".
At the castle the late evening became midnight the meeting with Celestia was done as well as the tea and scones.
"Twilight our intelligence section will take things from here you don't need to do anything further"
"But we still have a lot to find out what's going on here who's behind this and the..".
"Twilight get to sleep you need it , Do you want to be ordered to bed like a little filly and given a blankie and binkie?"
Twilight was smothered in feathers as Celestia scooped her up ushering her to thee special guest room.
"We shall reconvene in the morning it's been a long nights debrief and we can start anew after breakfast bright and early".
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Everyponies peaceful sleep came to an end with the fury of an out of control locomotive yells and screams
Green eyes peeked out the door "What in tarnation was that? Sure ain't no rooster I've ever heard".
"Is that Spike and Rarity?" Twilight answered with a yawn.
"That's so totally uncool I thought the train ride was just rude noise this is just twenty percent ruder".
"Twitch a twitch it's not good at all EVERYPONY DUCK! IT"S COMMING! and NO it's not a cute little ducky!"
Fluttershy just eeped "Oh my" and shut her door.
A roar flowed through the halls as Luna and Celestia opened their chamber doors glancing at each other.
The castle shuddered with an impact that shook the walls and dislodged the guards from their stupor.
The screams and roars stopped as suddenly as they started the only sound was the guards running to and from the area of confusion.
"Your Highness we secured the area it looks like we've had intruders in the castle the guest hall is a wreck part of the ceiling in guest wing C has come down we believe the intruders are still on the premises".
The group came to the center of the action the field of debris spread down the hall piles of stone work littered everywhere
A purple claw raised out of the rubble asking with a muffled voice"A little help please".
The digging of the claws owner took little time "You're one tough dragon" AJ said "What the hay happened here?"
"They have Rarity!" Spike gasped as he clutched the scorch mark on his chest "They went down the hall to the left".
"Are you sure you're OK?" Twilight asked looking at Spikes condition "You look awful"
"I'm a little sore lets get going before they get away!"
They all galloped down the halls checking each room as the guards and main group went on.
"How many were there?' Twilight quizzed him "What did they look like?"
"Five, they had black cloaks and masks I couldn't see their faces or manes".
"What caused the damage to the hallway?"
" I think I did - the moment they woke us up it got serious like right now, I bit two of them and hit another and after that one hit me with a jolt of magic I guess the gem of shadows exploded, Well the rest of the fight got a little fuzzy after that, I hit my head on the ceiling then after that you guys were digging me out of the mess".
The group continued searching the castle along with the guards for any signs of the missing mare or her captors.
They came to the kitchens and dining halls where they found Prince Blue Blood slumped against a wall his eyes glazed over mumbling
"That mare. . .that mare" Spike snapped his claws in front of his muzzle and with a few slaps Blue was back to the land of colorful ponies.
"Spike?' Blue Blood blinked "Spike. . . That white mare " Blue shuddered "Do you know her that awful white mare?"
"Awe come on she's not that bad". Spike quizzed him on the direction she was taken.
The prince pointed to the kitchen "Don't go Spike - Don't go in there - she's still in there in the dining hall please don't go it's like nothing I've ever seen before".
The main six had the guards cover the exits and windows what or whoever would have to fly or teleport to get away.
The room was quiet and dark a dim yellow light of a refrigerator was the only illumination. Rarity was licking the insides of a
Prince Blue Blood shook his head reviewing the carnage "Bloody foals they didn't have a chance".
Celestia asked him and Rarity for the eye witness accounts of the action.
"Auntie I was minding my own business when I see these intruders carrying a big sack. . . And so the story goes,
xxxxxxXXXXXxxxxxxxxxXXXXXXxxxxxxXXXXXXXXXXXXXxxxxxxxXXXXXXXxxxxXXXXX
"Unhoof me this instant!" She screamed "Unhoof me now - REMOVE your hoof from my flank!"
The abduction crew pulled and pushed her along a magical snubber ring glowed on her horn as she kicked and struggled with
"Stupid horse"
A burst of magic hit her knocking her over she laid on her side frozen in pain thinking on how to slow them down. The cold marble floor
"Boss we can't harm her we need her alive or it's no bits".
"It was bad enough that stupid guard dog of a dragon was with her".
"I thought we were dead when he grew, Did you see it when he slammed his head in that stone ceiling?"
"Tie and gag her we need to get out of here 'O' wants the monster she's carrying to be in good condition the horse not so much".
Rarity could feel her hooves bound and a gag pulled tight she bucked and struggled more she pulled away and rolled.
Another blast hit her in the chest shattering the gem of shadows, sparks flew her eyes glowed a cloud of magic flowed snaking around her body, Without a care the crew stuffed her into a sack like a load of potatoes hoisting her on their backs they hoofed it through the door of the royal kitchen.
Blue Blood was stuffing his face with pastries and champagne he couldn't sleep and had nothing better to do as the phrench maid was off duty and to her relief on vacation.
The abductors ran along past paying him no mind as he cowered with whipped cream dripping from his royal twinkie confection as it hung from his open muzzle in surprise.
"SNIFF?" the bag snorted SNIFF SNIFF SNIFF
A green glow surrounded the bag as it held it's position above the floor the bunch pulled and pushed with all their might it didn't move.
"SNIFF sniff sniff"
The bag exploded in a fury of fur and scales - claws and fangs flashed as the ponies reached out to stop her.
"Judo CHOP!" screamed the mare,
A thud was heard as number one thug hit the stone hard floor with a crack unable to move.
"Butterfly KICK"
A snap was sounded as hoof found its mark thuggy number two was seen draped over a dining room chair face down to the floor.
"Judo CHOP PUNCH" another baddy crumbles in front of his team members who watched shaking waiting for their doom.
Rarity slinked across the kitchen floor moving more reptilian than pony her eyes glowing in the dark with pupil slits her tongue
"You call yourselves henchponies?" she lectured the two "Your boss should be ashamed of himself
She slithered closer to them eyes glowing in anger whispering to the would be foalnappers.
"Is it worth the risk of pushing a painful death or you could just fall down and avoid the rush to join your friends on the floor."
She snapped her claws leaning in to make her point clear the last two meanie pants dressed in black fell to the floor with out a fight.
Blue Blood recognized the voice the white coat and violet blue mane. But her change was a striking mix of fur and scales
"Pardon me please" She spoke "Mind if I share in partaking of a little evening snack?"
She opened the fridge and rummaged through the drawers pulling out ice cream and Spikes stash of gems.
Rarity put a ruby into her mouth and savored the rich sweet flavor rolling it with her tongue before she knew it she nudged it"CRUNCH" a burst of flavor filled her mouth delighting her senses with abandon she dug in muzzles full of gems then washing them down with buckets of ice cream and champagne.
In the dark and quiet kitchen she feasted as Blue Blood stared on as a witness to the carnage of the ice box.
"RARITY?" They all gasped seeing the mare with optional dragon features at no extra cost.
"Hello darlings , These ruffians wished to take me from all this glorious food, gems, champagne and vanilla oat swirl , Sooo yummy".
She looked at the others stone frozen solid like the old garden variety Lord of Chaos unmoving not a sound , Just looking.
Just looking silent eyes fixed on the mare in the dark basking in the glow of the little yellow light of the refrigerator.
"Why are you all so quiet? Spikey, Twilight why do you all look so...?"
She looks at the dainty claws at the ends of her hooves and for the first time she notices the differences.
"Oh dear , Spikey... Twilight. . . gals ? Please help me . . . "
I gota Go
Rarity awoke from her slumber sandwiched in sheets her mind fuzzy from the night before.
"Oh dear why do I have such vivid dreams" her yawning began "Oh well I got to go to work dresses don't sew themselves".
She raised her head to greet the day as her eyes focused to the harsh lights her nose was assaulted with the smell of antiseptic
the sheets starched white tasteless and sterile held her down, stretching her hooves she saw tubes in her fetlocks.
"Twilight Spike somepony?" she bleated like a worried sheep.
She pressed the bed side call button on her night stand next to it a purple and white set of roses sat tied with a red ribbon. 'My Spikey'.
A mule entered with a bed pan "Here it is you've been out for a while I bet you've got to go. . ."
"Thank you kind sir I was calling for a Doctor can you please fetch him if your able?" 'Fetch? Surely I'm not going apples in here?'
A fine MD entered the room dressed in the usual smocks and socks a clip board with a chart floating in the aura of the customary
magic of a unicorn. A stethoscope hanging out of a sandwich filled pocket customary of a total slob.
"Hello there miss I'm Doctor Mallard for the record can I have your full legal name?".
"I am Rarity...Rarity Filligre Thee Dragon, wife of Spike the Great Honorable Brave Glorious hero of the Crystal Empire, Sparkle "
Rarity continued "Rarity the Element of Generosity Counsel of Friendship Fashion knight of Equestria?" she paused for a breath
"You can call me Rarity the dragon mare".
"Shall I call you another Doctor for a mental evaluation? I have no time for your brand of outlandish humor."
Rarity raised a clawed hoof showing him a middle claw 'Spikey now I understand the benefits of a good claw'
Doctor Mallards staring at the claws that sent chills down his spine looked up to her smile it was different it was off
this mare had fangs!
Doctor Mallard slowly backed out of her room shaking and sweating like a new born intern on his
first day at Celestias Asylum for the Criminally Insane clothed only in a skimpy thong.
"Doctor? Doctor?" Twilight asked as she pushed his frozen body through the doorway back next to the
mare with the razor sharp teeth and claws.
" Doctor this is Rarity she was exposed to some shadow gems that were blasted by a unicorn attack. . .Doctor?"
He stared at the claws then slowly stared at Twilight then back at those sharp little claws he swallowed and looked back at Twilight
"I'm not ready for this - Does she bite?" Mallard continued "My brother was bitten by a dragon in Ponyville".
"She doesn't bite"
"Are you sure she looks a bit like a dragon"
"No I can assure you she hasn't harmed . . ."
"Attacked by unicorns? I got to go I have other appointments to make I'm not finished with my rounds".
The Doctor turned and fled out the door squeezing past another pink coated mare topped with lavender and purple curled locks.
"Sweetums I heard you were here I told you if you hung out with the wrong crowd this is what you could expect, Didn't I?"
"Mother".
"But no you had to pass on that Prince Blue Blood and what happened to that nice magazine writer Trenderscoop?"
"Mother, and it was Trenderhoof".
"Trenderspoof Trenderhoof what ever , Now all those tabloids have it you're seeing an Assistant to a Princess Spackle but what
does it say about the company you keep when that Princess has the gall to be sleeping with a dragon of all things under Celestias sun."
"Mother that dragons name is Spike"
"So that nasty beast has a name, Honey you look like a nice pegasus please tell my daughter that Princess Spackle or even a lovely mare
that has relations with a dragon is only asking for trouble. You can tell her the truth can't you?"
"Mother. . . That's Princess Twilight Sparkle her assistant is Spike the DRAGON and she . . ."
"And I am not sleeping with him and HE is the most reliable caring creature you will ever meet and YOUR daughter who has
had the displeasure to meet both the Royal pain and the Trendergoof, Rarity couldn't find a better coltfriend lover or husband then in
that loyal assistant I've had for almost as long as I've lived and besides you can't find a more devoted couple than in those two."
"My little Rarity and a dragon?"
"Yes mother".
"But your not married".
"Civil ceremony by her request".
"My little baby?"
"Mother he's going to be a wonderful father".
"A what?"
"Mother I'm going to be a mother too".
"Oh Celestia! why am I being punished? What could I of done to prevent this? All I wanted was for you to find that prince charming
a knight with a heart of gold or at least a Doctor with a lot of money, Living happily ever after But no you mock my dreams for you by
shacking up with a lizard that sleeps with a princess and does what ever dragons do! How could you do this to me!?"
"Oh mother".
"Oh look at the time I got to go!"
"Mother?"
"Mother will always love her Snookems, I got to go"
"Mother".
"That went rather well. . .I can see where you get your drama queen side from"
"Twilight!"
'Doctor Howard Doctor fine Doctor Howard"
-----------------*--------------
Spike awoke in the same magic isolation ward of Canterlot castles private hospital as he tried to look around all was dark
he spread out his arms and legs but something was in the way he felt the walls with his claws, This place was small he was on his back
curled in a ball with just enough room to breath and nothing much else.
'That's all I need is to have some joker put me into a box'. He pushed up on the lid with his claws it didn't budge
it was hard solid stone like 'They really built this box strong It's definitely a good prank' In the dark he tested every surface.
His thoughts went back to when he carried Rarity to the isolation ward and leaving her a set of roses when she fell asleep and the
stupid Doctors grabbing him to be stuffed into his own piece of isolation.
'Boring I could see Rainbow being stuck in here, She'ed climb the walls in a mater of minutes'
Spike turned his head to the right and saw a slight sliver of light he tried to reach it with his claw but he couldn't reach it
due to the boxes confines he turned his snout closer and slipped out his tongue feeling for a crack or anything to get more
light, his tongue slithering around he found a latch and turned it carefully.
A flood of light burst into Spikes box a small torn sheet laid on his belly a smashed light fixture on the ceiling
a crushed bed below he was still laying on his back in a ball a full sized dragon in a mare sized room.
An orderly looked at the giant green eye staring out from the darkened doorway "A little help please? I got to go".
Spike whimpered "I got to go to the little colts room, Please?"
The orderly looked down at his mop bucket "I Got to go and get a bigger bucket".
From Small Alicorns
Spike had to go right now, his size and his upside down position was no secret to the janitor, the mule did the
only thing for this rare and special occasion "Sorry it looks like your on your own" he closed the door proceeding to hunt for a
much bigger bucket.
"Awe COME ON!" Spike lamented his bladder screaming 'Where's the bed pan?'
A trickle started then it became a stream in a short order that stream then grew into a river a river raging full of magical sparks,
Everything bubbled and boiled in Spikes room he felt the warm tingling of the enchanted liquid his chest burned his body ached
the room grew larger or was it that he was shrinking? Spike was spinning in the soup, A soggy mattress a table a nightstand
spun with the drake he climbed aboard the debris, What wasn't going down the floor drain was pouring out from under the door.
The janitor plugged along back to Spikes door with that bigger delux industrial mop bucket with the fancy hoof operated wringer.
In the bucket he had two yellow foldup safety markers with the black 'FLOOR WET' stenciled on each side with the famous
character falling on it's plot painted in day glow orange in view beneath the words, As placards went it was truly a work of art
surely it was something every janitors closet couldn't be without.
He carefully picked up the markers and placed them at either end of the doorway with enough clearance as to not to get
in the way of a proper mop stroke but far enough away so anypony in the area can avoid the hazards posted.
He looked at the floor liquid pouring out at the cracks around the door. Without a care in the world he reached out and twisted the knob.
The flood was instant the wall of enchanted liquid fizzed and bubbled the janitor was thrown backwards into his bigger delux industrial mop
bucket with the thought that it probably saved him from drowning in dragon pee. Spike floated besides the mule resting on the safety
marker their rides came to a swift end when Twilight froze the whole mess solid.
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Spike showered quickly and the ward staff bandaged his chest wounds Twilight listened to his ideas of the
shadow crystals with the attack that caused his size enhancements without the greed and the embarrassment of finding a cure
by going enchanted surfing in dragon pee with the janitor.
"Twilight do I still have to return to the isolation ward?"
"Yes we still don't know if your cured yet".
"But I feel better , Honest".
"Spike they told you the procedures for enchantment contamination".
"But Twi I know I wont cause any problems can I at least have a room next to hers?"
"Spike. . ."
"please please please pleasssssse?"
"I'll see what I can do But don't expect anything ok?"
Spike just smiled at her with a skip and a little hop.
A stallion with a Haywiian shirt trotted into the ward at his side was a unicorn filly, Their eyes lit up as they saw
Rarity eating her hospital rations of congealed oatmeal mashed peas wilted salad greens and lime jello the only thing half edible was the
toast if you had the coffee to wash it down before everything set like concrete.
"Maybe you could get your cutie mark working in hospital nutrition?" he told the filly. He then spoke up.
"Is my baby feeling better?"
"Father!" Rarity beamed but quickly hid her claws under the blankets. "Sweetie Belle".
"We lost your mother when Sweetie had to use the little fillies room".
"You just missed her and her tirade on how I single hoofedlly destroyed her dreams of my finding a prince charming".
"So does he make you happy?"
"Who?"
"You know who".
"Who?"
"Your prince charming that's who".
"Where did you dredge up the idea that I have a colt friend".
"Rarity" Squeaked Sweetie.
"It's not the best kept secret you can tell your own father ya know".
"Father I already went through this with mother".
"Rarity" Sweetie squeaked again.
"Sweetie Belle told me all about Spike , Does he make you happy?"
Rarity squinted and tucked her ears back against her head glaring at her younger sister kicking her hooves into the mattress.
She pulled the pillow from behind her and smothered her face into the puffy gag letting out a muffled squeak.
"Come on Rarity everypony in Ponyville knows how you two feel about each other even dads cool about you two".
"If you're not going to finish your lunch think you can pass it over here?"
" How much do you know about us . . .us "
"Your so called secret?" He dug into the oat meal "I did the same to Cookies parents, her mother had plans too ya know".
"Really father how so?"
"Well she her mom, didn't want me to see Cookie anymore but we had our little secret too , You".
"Me?"
"Yes you, Cookie was carrying you when we got married. So I have only one question, Does this guy make you happy?"
"What? You knocked up mommy? Rarity how could you!" Sweeties world shattered "Rarity the illiterate child!"
"Sweetie that's illegitimate not illiter...ah oh never mind".
Rarity wrapped the thought that she too had leveraged her mother into submission but the answer to her fathers question
rang true 'Did Spike make her happy?' all the work the gem hunts the trips to anyplace or no place at all, Was she happy?
"Sweetie can you go check up on Spike and find mother for us, father are you actually going to eat that awful looking jello?"
Raritys eyes clued Sweetie to exit for a private talk the foal sighed as she left the room.
"Gee just when you were getting to the juicy stuff, Rarity the illiterate child".
"Sweetie Belle enough!"
The sound of a stallion choking on lime jello could be heard throughout the ward.
_________________________________________________
"Spike here's your new room I don't think you have much longer in isolation and Luna has increased the patrols".
Twilight watched her number one assistant layout ledgers scrolls and other office supplies on his bed.
"You're in a hospital you should get your rest Spike" Twilight lectured him" You can do that stuff later".
"Yeah that's coming from Princess OCD , President of the sleep as you read club, 'I'm not just the president I'm a member too!'
really Twi I'll be ok, I'm just worried about Rares".
Twilight slipped out a few gems and levitated them onto Spikes pillow Spikes eyes widened, before he could say anything
her hoof silenced his words and she winked "She'll be ok not a word about theses ok?"
Sweetie roamed the halls looking for Spikes room or any signs of her mom "Wait till I tell Spike about Rarity being illiterate".
She trotted along till she realized that she was almost lost no longer where the halls polished and sanitary the lighting was less too.
She hurried along the deeper she went the less sure she was on her location the only signs she passed were plastered FLOOR WET.
"Wow that's sure a funky smell what happened here?" Sweetie held a hoof to her nose "Stinks like . . .like dragon!"
A thestral guard stepped out from the shadows "How would a little filly like you know how a dragon smells?"
A startled Sweetie Belle jumped back seeing Lunas royal seal displayed on his armor she then smiled a Pinkie styled grin.
"Twilights bathroom at her castle sometimes smells like that of course" she put a hoof to her chin thinking.
The guard moved down and gave Sweetie a small level of introductory stink eye.
"Or back at the Carrousel Boutique when she sent me out to Sugar Cube Corner so I wouldn't notice what was going on".
The guard drew closer as Sweetie continued.
"It could of been earlier at the Golden Oak Library when he farted and burned up those cushions but definitely after
Apple Bloom said that his balls dropped I think he stunk more than he usually did normally".
The guards confusion was growing as Sweetie Belle rambled more.
" He used to hang around and help us get our cutie marks but as he got older he started helping my illiterate sister
around her shop, You know what illiterate is don't you?"
"What's your illiterate sister have to do with what a dragon smells like?" The thestral asked as he gripped the sides of his helmet with his
leathery wings.
"Oh that's easy my big sister is having an illiterate foal with Spike who is Princess Twilights personal assistant who happens to
be a dragon".
The guard shook his head and motioned to her to follow his lead they walked to the self-serve cafeteria. He grabbed a cup of coffee
and told her where Spikes new room was. Sweetie looked at all the goodies that laid out before her, Sweetie licked her chops.
Rarity sat up in her bed sniffing the air 'Sniff Sniff Sniiiiiiif
"What cha smell Snookem?"
"Excuse me for a moment father"
Spike sat writing and scribbling notes as Twilight checked and double checked his work. The normally quiet halls started to
burble with the clatter of hooves and claws with the words "After her " and "Stop her" Rarity galloped down the halls
her bare teeth showing her fangs her claws clattering along. Rarity looked and saw what she needed to take care of,
Through the portal she leapt sailing through the air colliding with Spike. She reached for the gems and plopped one in her mouth
she looked at his surprise. . . she smiled teasing Spike with the savory crystal lip to lip they crunched the tidbit together.
Raritys father leaned on the door frame after giving chase, smiling at his daughter thinking 'yep she couldn't be happier'
Behind Magnum extra eyes attached to orderlies and Doctors arrived seeing the two eating the gems, Doctor Mallard broke the
silence bellowing his objection to the two gem munchers that where soon to be hauled off someplace else .
" Who brought in that contraband into my isolation ward?"
An orderlys whispering followed "They're just as bad as that Dash character with her cider!"
Spike looked a little sheepish whispering to Twilight "From small alicorns grow big oopsies".
Raritys father then sniffed the air 'Oh Wow that's Sweeties cooking? I smell her bacon pancakes!' Smoke then filled the hallways. . .
Spike and Rarity the dragon mares cuddling was cut short by the claxons sound of a fire alarm.
The informative article in the news papers the next day (After the special coupons for Filthy Riches Bargain Barn Specials for the week)
The Dark Side
The room was coal black in color in its center the ebony desk was a massive bureau with a dull shine of authority neatly
arranged with the tools of government and the force of tasks assigned to the leaders in power,
behind it was the seal of the Lunar Night Guard shrouded in the deep shadows the torches giving just enough light to navigate.
She sat behind the bureau the wire rimmed glasses in contrast to her elegant looks her mane flowing like a star filled night.
Papers scrolls and warrants scanned for errors each one laid out one by one stacked filed and signed for its execution
she sipped her drink and let out a breath sipped once more, setting the cup down she continued her duties .
In the shadows a mare lurked stepping silently along the walls stalking quietly her eyes looking at her target step by step she moved
the papers shuffled and collated the stalker stalked the more papers were shuffled the more the stalker stepped.
Luna picked up her cup blowing to cool the contents she spoke "I see you enjoy your services all too well".
"Not as well as your service to your princess your highness".
_________________OOO________________
Rarity was sobbing laying on her own sheets and comforters as her stay in the isolation ward was longer than
anypony had expected she dabbed her cheeks with a tissue her eye shadow running like mud in the rain.
"Awe come on it can't be all that bad" Spike handed her a new Kleenex "The Boutique is still going strong besides with Fluttershy
and Cocos help we're making the deadlines, even Twi is lending a hoof as long as Sweetie stays out of the kitchen I can't see any problems".
"Oh Spike it's not the Boutique".
"It's not?"
"Precious scales how could you ever understand the ways of the world and romance?"
"Try me you know the stuff I have to put up with on a daily basis in a town full of crazy mares ,specially with our own Princess of I'm too
busy studying for a coltfriend". Spike took a breath "Sparkle" He used his claws to air quote Sparkle.
"Rarity who wooed and won the heart of the most beautiful mare in Equestria who's talented smart and a hero in her own right?"
He balled his claws up and pointed his thumbs at his scaley puffed out chest giving an AJ style raised eyebrow.
"and who's carrying your foal". Rarity sniffed giving her dragon a half lidded ducky look "But what do males know about romance?"
"Like I said try me".
"You know about Prince Beefcakes affair with Lady Cleavage and how they were meeting in secret right under the muzzles of
Queen Crumpet and King Salmon who were dividing the kingdom because the Prince was betrothed to the wicked and mighty
Queen Hermaphroditey who only wanted use Prince Beefcake to take over the Palace and leave the Lady Cleavage hanging
taking her fortune and majority shares in the copper industry".
Spike just stifled a giggle She can't be serious ? Beefcake Lady Cleavage who really reads this stuff?
"Prince Beefcake should just set Crumpet down and convince her to support Lady Cleavage and dump the evil queen!"
Rarity ears were assaulted by the dragons unrestrained guffaws tears rolling out of his clinched eyelids as he added his two bits.
"And King Salmon was seventeen bits a package at the Never Eleven!" he went laughing right over the edge of the sheets.
Spike resurfaced holding his head still giggling gazing at her Rarity just returned a double stink eye and added a raspberry for
good measure. "Silly rascal what do you know?"
Spike crawled back to her on all fours getting muzzle to snout "Enough to know not to spoil the ending for you".
"Really Spikey is that a challenge?"
" I'm set are you ready?"
"Page one hundred seventy five middle of the page".'Try that Mr. Thee Dragon!'
Spike leaned in and whispered the romantic magical passages as they where written in her ear word for word.
Raritys eyes shot wide open and a deep blush covered her face pulling the covers up she let out a fan girl like squeal kicking her hooves.
"You forgot I did work in a library and all the free time I had when I was younger".
"How could you read it just came out this month?"
"I know the writer".
"No".
"You know her too".
"No who?"
"I ain't telling".
With the last words Spike gave Rarity a quick peck on the lips and bolted out of the room but not before she hit him with her
quickly thrown pillow.
I'll get you my precious scales it wont be tonight maybe tomorrow You will never see it till it's too late.' With a blue glow she returned
the pillow to its place and continued reading with a fresh box of Kleenexes by her side.
_________________OOO_______________
She exited the castle the name and address for the next assignment locked in her mind like all the rest they had never
been written down no paper trails no witnesses after all she had a license to kill not to get caught and drag the whole tangled web of the
monarchy and Nobilitys continuing war of conquest and power out of the shadows into the light of day.
'Princes Beefcake? Princess Cleavage? Could Fluttershy be so bold?'
She trotted to the village square stalls of food and sundries filled her eyes a nice bright day a complete contrast to
the assignments task at hoof, foals playing couples strolling along the warm cobble stone paths, life as they knew it.
She saw peace love family, a life she longed for. But today this hour this minute, right now it was an assignment cold dark deadly
a needful thing that had to be. It had to be quiet - it had to be sure - it had to draw no attention from the lower authorities.
'Rainbow Dash? She is a bold one but she's not quite the writer, reader yes, writer not so much'.
She continued on her way stopping briefly at a newspaper stand rummaging the stack of tabloid fish wrappings she saw
the Royal Scandal brewing, the new Princess her assistant and the dragons mistress a smile pierced through the printed page.
"The white unicorn mare" came from her lips she could see why her assignment was necessary, the name the location the need.
she rolled the paper up paid the bits and continued. This assignment needed to be timed to the second and had to have the trimmings of
a simple household accident.
'Pinkie could she be the scribe to Princess Cleavage? Cupcakes maybe. . .or an inspiration to. . .I digress so'.
Diner was simple a hay burger, fries and a water same routine for this agent, Same old stuff , Time to rest before the
coming storm... ironic how nice the weather is - calm cool not a cloud in the sky, No doubt Luna will be watching her charges tonight
peaceful dreams for all but the one who will dream for the last time. Sometimes I hate this business but if I quit who knows what
heartless horse would take my place at least Luna sheds a tear for the lost ones, They all had the warning some just won't take
a hint to straighten out and fly right. They all had their dreams of woe, That last warning before they call me.
'Twilight? She's so . . . so bookish and innocent, I remember her blush after she found Spikeys little magazine stash!'
'Surely he hasn't a need for those anymore?'
________________OOO________________
"Howdy Rarity! It's been a while, How ya doing gal ?"
Rarity laid her novel down dabbed her eyes "Why Apple Jack what a pleasant surprise".
"Brought you some treats and some other. . . Lamb sakes Rarity you look like you raided the melon patch, You're huge!"
"You most of all know how things grow after all you do have a farm to manage".
"Talking about growin Twilight and Zacora had me bring this for you and your little one, It's a special brew for the ...the ".
Apple Jack just looked lost "Ah Rarity that do they call the little one? No offense here".
"No offense taken dear, Twilight calls her a dracony and Spike likes pongon I just don't know what is more fashionable a pony with shiny talismanic scales or a sleek dragon with luxurious fur".
"Besides the getting down and sweaty part I can't see how you two got so lucky".
"Twilight thinks it's because of her that he's part unicorn, being he was hatched with her out of control magic, His scales do match her
furs complexion in the most delectable way, I do need to get Twilight out of that castle of hers and to the spa more often".
The two mares gabbed through the evening catching up with lost time weaving tales and memories till
the end of visitors time drew near "Apple Jack you wouldn't know the writer of The Adventures of Prince Beefcake would you?"
"Who would want to read let alone pay for that pig manure?' A J spouted "It's bad enough Big Mac's hooked on that rubbish".
"It's an acquired taste my dear" Rarity rolled her eyes "Spikey said he knows the author and it just so annoying that he would
keep such a tidbit from his little Rarity, Me of all ponies".
"Well you know what Rares? Sometimes all the guy folks here if you pardon my phrench are just a bunch of PLOT-HOLES!"
"Spikey's a plot hole!" Rarity giggle holding her hooves over her muzzle as Apple Jack just laughed out loud.
_____________OOO____________
A moonless night enveloped the land with Canterlot settling into the late evening where Nobels and ponies called it
quits for the day, after the drinks had gone dry and cigars snuffed out exhausted by workers and those who caused the moving
and shaking of business one set of hooves started off.
Rarity faded off to sleep waiting for her precious scales wondering if Beefcake would prevail in her unfinished novel the halls and rooms in the royal ward quietly dim.
She maneuvered in the shadows without the mar of malice the warrant soon to be carried out, Through the door she crept silently
hooves sliding coldly along in the dark.
A pair of eyes watched Rarity sleeping with her eye shades on. A light snore escaped her mouth showing the dragon fangs her excess drool seeping out her petit claws twitching clutching a damp tissue.
In the dark she waited for the time where no pony would interrupt the final blow.
Spike nuzzled his lady love and she whispered "OK who's that author?"
A lone pony wandered into his darkened room an empty whisky glass at the ready a lamp flickers to life.
"How did you get in here?"
"I took a crash course in tripping burglar alarms".
"My butler might interfere with your plans".
"You dismissed him a half hour ago so we shan't be interrupted".
"I thought you were still in Zebraca after the Crumpet affair".
"After that ordeal it was a matter of pulling a few strings but I won't bore you with the details I'll be putting them into my memoirs".
"If it's the money I can pay you whatever you want". He reached for a hidden safe behind a wall portrait.
"Go ahead as I tripped all of the alarms including the one in the frame".
A briefcase stuffed with bits is laid out for the assassin Big 'O' sweats as he nurses the empty whiskey glass.
"The money is just one thing it's more about all those good ponies , Those good dead ponies and their families you left hanging.
I was going into the philosophical implications of a mercenary and his or her employer and the whole ideal of doing good for the
world as a whole , But to look back at all those you betrayed and to see you trying to buy your own life after all those you
wasted , Well I find that quite revolting".
"Well you're here so you must be a resourceful earth pony mare" He fired up his horn to attack only to find a fizzled sputter.
"You're resourceful yourself Mr. 'O' so I guess I'll finish here"
"Yes I suppose you should".
"Yes".
"WAIT!"
The weapon hit hard quiet and with little mess the Big 'O' was done. The morning sun returned to the sky greeting all
but a few that were held in the palace dungeons. Luna came to comfort Raritys would be kidnappers and offer them
the afforded rights under Equestria law.
"It seems that your defense barrister has withdrawn his support" Luna continued "You shall be assigned a public defender
on your next appearance before the night court fair thee well my little misguided ponies".
She tossed a few newspapers and tabloids for the prisoners to pass the time the headlines sent a shiver through their spines.
The newspapers all announced the passing of Overdraft the leading business organizer in Canterlot.
The details were well written in the script of the day about a powerful stallion who shaped the history of Zebraca and the vast
fortunes in copper before settling in Canterlots high society the rest of the customary drivel was only fit for the one off
badly written romance novel or a F.U.B.A.R. fan fiction piece.
His printed obituary on the other hoof had a tale of his freak accident involving an automatic spit at a late night barbecue
and how he was such a family stallion with three mistresses and such a great asset to the causes of nobility .
Spike dozed off cuddling his lady his answer to her sleepy quiz was given "The author Twilight's ghost writing
Raritys sleepy response was "Oh Spikey you've got to be kidding me our cute quiet little Bonbon?"
An orderly poked his head in the room "Mr. Spike what are you doing here so early this morning?"
"Yeah yeah I know it's before visiting hours cut me some slack here".
In the dungeon faint weeping filtered out of the cells and into the cold empty halls.
For some ponies Lunas tears will not be shed.
Into the Light of Day
Good news like the first day of spring spread over Equestria , Investigators of the Royal Guard as it was written had stopped a Kidnapping
of one of the Elements of Harmony , Beet prices where down, A story on page three had a tale of some foals that will not be named
because of their ages causing untold damages when they launched an untried rocket blasting a new firth out of the parks terra firma,
So much for that exploration of space cutie mark . Finally in the financial / science section, news of the dragons entering the copper
market for the first time since forever, the next article below had the future use of magical clawed hooves in the battle field.
"Oh look at that AJ ponies with claws how cool is that!" Rainbow announced with a mouth full of doughnuts mixed with coffee.
"If ya don't mind holding it down? I'm still looking at the farm section".
"Hay you got the funny pages?"
An orderly called out in a hushed voice "QUIET please this is a hospital for crying out loud!"
"Na Spike must have them".
"Shish ! this is your last warning!"
"Shush yourself"
"Shish".
"Shush".
"Shish".
"Shush shush".
"Shish shish shush!"
"Shish shish shush shush shish!"
"Aw Shush yerself".
"Shush shish shish shush shish!"
"SHISH SHISH SHISH SHISH!"
"Nurse Red Heart!"
"Needles are you pestering the visitors again?" she lead the orderly away by his ear turning from the two calling out "Nice to see you again
Rainbow and in the visitors lounge for once what a nice change of pace for this one time".
The orderly looked over his back as Red Heart drug him out of the room, Needles giving a glaring stink eye at the Rainbowed one.
Rainbow snickered and blew a long raspberry quickly ducking behind the paper her eyes shining of another victory.
With news from the hospital the now Spike was happy the now Spike was nervous-cited the now Spike was plastered.
"Pinkamena Diane Pie!" Twilight barked "What the hay did you do to Spike?"
"He needed a little pick me up after what happened at the hospital yesterday, I'm still planning a fashionable foals felicitation for fantastic
friends forever private party -- Oh to blow off steam caused by a stinky pants quack of a Doctor who Spike should bite in the flank like
his quack Doctor brother in Ponyville during your crazy experiments you know what I mean?" Pinkie took a breath
"Besides Spike's a light weight Rarity had him trying champagne and that fruity wine cooler stuff when they started dating in secret".
"When was that?" Twilight gasped.
"When Rarity turned the streets in town into gold" She shook her head "All that gold wasted it was soooooo pretty!"
"Twilight?" Pinkie waved her hoof in front of Twilights unmoving eyes "So innocent I bet she doesn't know about Spikes other
comic books".
_______________________________________O.o________________________________
The duo of the Equestrian day and night decided to coquette with the Elements of Harmony after all
it's not everyday a salient event has taken place for a scant two or so thousand years. The arrival of a highbred species was not so rare
but ones born to an Element had a special flavor to it like the taste of chocolate rain. Twilights tests had put an end to the
speculation of dangers to the nation if not the world but the threat to hospital staff and property well that was another mater.
"Pinkie what in Celestias satin sheets have you done to my Spikey Wikey?" Rarity shook the drake looking at his half lidded eyes.
Spike stared off into space unfocused and limp blowing slow raspberries at nothing at all his mind chugging along in neutral.
"Of all the nerve Pinkie How could you let him get so so inebriated?" Rarity fumed.
"Inebriated?" Pinkie quizzed "I didn't know you and Spike were related like that. . .Is he your secret brothers cousin other nephews
roommate in college?" Pinkie bounced lightly waiting for her answer.
"That's inbred Pinkie" Rarity continued rolling her eyes "Sometime you're as uncouth as my sister and her Crusaders
even as sweet as they are".
Pinkies smile grew with the addition of the word 'sister' 'Wowzer like FAMILY ! Like one big Happy HAPPY family!'
Spike continued with the quite raspberries looking at the ceiling batting Raritys mane softly laying on the blankets his head on her stomach.
Apple Jack with Rainbow escorted Raritys whole family into the room followed by the rest of the loose knit circle of friends.
A muffled burst of streamers and confetti blew through the room as the Lunar Princesses entered the room.
All eyes centered on Pinkie "What? I used a silencer. . .A really super duper big silencer. . .What?"
Luna raised her hoof to whisper to her bigger sister "That's got to be the second biggest silencer I've ever seen".
"Greetings my little ponies and Element barriers are we ready for the surprise Royal family pictures?"
Sweetie Belle squealed first "I knew it Rarity married a prince!" the CMC bouncing along with the news.
Cookie looked at Hondo "She's dumped the dragon and got her a real prince... Who is it, Blueblood?"
"Mother stop it"
Hondo snorted out a laugh "Oh yeah! I already like this guy He's just like me when Cookie had our babies".
Spike just stared blankly unmoving his raspberry was a constant answer to any and all questions.
The din in the room mimicked a small roar of a hoofball stadium ponies shuffled and shifted propped up or squatting
just to fit into the lens view finder of the camera.
First line up was Scootaloo Dash, Applebloom AJ ,Sweetie Belle Rarity Spike Cookie Hondo, Twilight Fluttershy and Pinkie,
Behind them where The Lunar Princesses with their draped manes flowing in a striking pose. Rarity giggled as the shutter clicked.
"Seriously how can I capture the magicks if you all keeps playing arounds! follow the Shy ones example I shoots again!"
During the photo shoot Spike was hoisted up into position like a limp plushy and Cookies smile was a thin veil 'Why me?'
Second line up was Twilights family to the left and Raritys bunch to the right, Rarity snuggled her drake putting on her best ducky
smile the flash dazzled the eyes and Spike slowly waking up to the confusion turned and planted a firm kiss to her cheek as
the second and third flashes filled the air.
"Now we has zee magicks. . . Now I need zee two big Princesses and the lovely couple next".
Spike and Rarity stood between the two towering rulers a set of odd white purple books between blue white Royal book ends.
The photo session wound down to a little cake and juice reception and an untimely baby shower all rolled into one event,
Every ponies eyes and smiles were accounted for but one set belonging to a mother with her shattered daughters other dream.
Cookie sat nibbling on her piece of cake as Hondo spoke to deaf ears "She's happy he's a good character what gives?"
Cookie smirked with a pout "He's just an assistant".
Cookie felt a huge hug as she was smothered in white fur "Your daughters dreams are not yours but fear not my little pony
for Kenbroath Gillspotten Heathspike is of Royal lineage . . ."
Raritys mom melted like ice cream on a hot summer day.
Celestia looked down into Cookies eyes with the bright smile of the sun it self "Spike is a prince of the Solar throne".
"Tia I thought Spike was to be a Prince of the Lunar throne of shadows?"
"solar".
"lunar".
"sun".
"moon".
"sun".
"moon".
"sun".
"moon moon moon moon mooooooon".
"sun . . .he was with Twilight before your return Lulu we'll talk about this at another time".
Cookie looked at the two with a weak smile "My son in law is a prince?"
Rarity scooted in next to her mother "A prince in more ways than one mother".
Twilight used her magic and struck a glass with a spoon "A toast to Spike and Rarity".
Pinkie pulled out a loaf "Raisin Toast I love warm squishy raisins!"
Apple Bloom passed out smuggled cider to her Crusaders as the Elements gathered the necessary decanters or as
AJ called it social drinking stuff and what nots.
The cider was passed around and the conveyance of well wishes as well as cider flowed like a cascade from Celestias throne.
Rarity took hold of her glass using her petit claws "Amazing what these little wonders can do".
Spike held his glass and tipped his glass to hers "To small wonders". they sipped looking into each others eyes.
"Apple Bloom I know you snuck some cider young filly!"
"What's the big deal sis? everypony's got some".
"The big deal is we have spilled cider all over the blankets over here dag nab it".
Scootaloo answered for the CMC crew "Can't be us we're way over here".
Spike looked at the mess below "I know we didn't , didn't didn't Oh gosh ! No no no no no".
Rarity continued the corroboration "Oh yes no no no no , Oh dear it's too soon!"
Panic gripped the party goers as the couple entered the first phase of parenthood , total loss of brain cells.
AJ ushered the Crusaders out of the room as Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom protested that missing the big event
would hinder their on going education for a midwifes cutie mark as Scootaloo was turning blue from a prolonged gag reflex.
________________________________/)O.o(\______________________________
"That's imposable she has 4 months to go!" Doctor Mallard trotted along following Twilight to the room smoke was seeping overhead
screams and moans came from within punctuated with a feminine roar then quiet filled the halls .
Luna sat with her horn pressed against Raritys the night princess towering over a now normal unicorn mare nestled in rags the
bed torn into a nest Spike laid next to her spooned tightly supporting her head dragon and mare perspiration filled the air.
"Tia my abilities as a midwife is most excellent are they not?"
Cookie sat frozen her mane and coat stained with smoke and embers "I sure don't remember any of this when I had Rarity".
Celestia looked at the two scaly fuzzy orbs in the now bed turned nest "I don't remember any of this at all".
Spike and Rarity looked at the two little orbs small round fuzzy scaly, one lavender the other white, The orbs eyes opened looking back.
One set of eyes shined sapphire the other set emerald, small mouths yawned slowly their eyes blinking.
petit little hoofs tipped with petit little claws stretched out a tail unrolled showing tufts of blue hair the other spines and a spade.
Rarity scanned the room one princess mom second princess then focused on the pongons or were they draconies?
Never mind the genetics they looked happy healthy and ready to take a nap.
"Well isn't this a nice surprise?" Twilight beamed" Rarity you look great every things back to normal".
"If having a glorious little family normal? I'm all for more darling though I'll miss those nifty little claws".
Spike smiled "Having you breath fire was absolutely awesome and that roar!"
Hondo raised up for a hoof bump "I always knew she was a daddys girl".
"Pizza and cider next Saturday?"
"Father!"
Author's Note
Anabirthary
Anabirthary
Spike and Rarity strolled along the cool cobble stone path Ponyvilles second most favorite couple had a grand time, dinner
dancing smooching and other games reserved for such lovers at a small party held in the crystal castle hosted by who else.
They shared a moment on the bridge hers eyes shimmering in the moon light Spike couldn't help himself as he cleared his throat
he nervously shuffled his feet and got down on one knee. Rarity beamed and pranced in place watching her knight in anticipation
of that special event she quietly squealed when he reached in his pocket and pulled out a hankie and begin to blow his nose.
"Spike of all the things you could of done . . .Of all things I just . . .Just". She was speechless at his display of - of whatever.
He then returned the soiled cloth to it's final resting place and raised a small hand mirror motioning her to take it.
"I know it's been a little freaky with how everything was happening with everything and all I was wondering if we can have a do over?"
She scanned the reflection and took notice of the added wear and tear of a years worth of events the twins and being alive
after the numerous calls of duty for any and all of Equestrias fashion emergencies and real life and death situations devoid of fashion.
"Spikey what do you mean a 'do over" She stared into the mirror "Am I no longer beautiful is that it? I'm an old nag?"
Claws extended into the cobble stones turning them to pebbles and dust "An old ugly nag is that what I am Spike?"
Smoke wafted over the two as she continued "I thought we had something special completely different from the other ponies".
She gritted her teeth starring down the drake "So you want a 'do over' after I had your children after all those years waiting?"
Spike grasped the mirror changing the angle Rarity looked at the new image that came in to view her eyes focused on her horn.
"I should of done this right after I flamed your shop and do things the way a gentle colt would of done with none of this secret stuff".
The ring on her horn was encrusted with four gems , Two for the odd couple and two for the twin pongons.
Spike lowered the mirror and looked into her eyes the pupils were slits smoke came from her muzzle her dainty claws
gripped the dragon in a hug "And to think I thought I was an old nag how silly of me after all we did have the civil ceremony ".
Spike grabbed her hoof and pulled it up into view of his marsh mellow she looked and with a shrug held Spikey
"I guess we need another gem or two in a few months Twilight said this could happen again".
Spike was now reduced to a single brain celled mate processing a hundred thoughts flooding through "TILT" PINBALL REFERENCE
Rarity stared at her precious scales her muzzle puffing smoke rings over his entire body carving the puffy bits with her dainty hoofed
claws musing thoughts and smoke into fashionable styles fit for royalty.
The wisps of whimsy continued billowing flowing with her every breath and hoof movement Spikes brain cell still over loaded.
Pinkie popped into Raritys view giving her a start. "What did Twilight say about this popping up into a private situation?"
She smoothed out the wrinkles in Spikes tunic eyeing the Pinkie like a mother hen er mother pongon.
"Aweverypony'spassedoutbackatthecastleandIhadnothingfuntodoso" Miss Pie was interrupted by a motherly voice.
"Pinkie please slow down I can't understand the words coming out of your mouth". She puffed out a smoke top hat. "Again?"
"Aw everyponie's passed out back at the castle and I had nothing fun to do sooooo" She took a breath "You had too much fun".
Rarity blushed and eyed the drake in a smoke woven smoking jacket tunic and top hat, smiling she said "Yes now didn't I".
_________________________/)O<3O(\__________________________
A royal guard poked a bobbin pole in the charred remains of a kitty basket it's former toasted occupant hissing
a pussy fit and fit to be tied. "Come here Opal kitty kitty kitty". The hapless guard coaxing the freshly fried mouse trap.
"Ya know you can't stay in that old basket of yours - Sweetie it's your cat make her move". Apple Bloom hissed.
"She's not my cat it's Raritys and even she has real issues with it".
Scootaloo just looked on "Don't look at me I already lost some pen feathers from that fur lined buzz saw on a good day".
The guard laid down the gauntlet enough of this pussy footing around, reaching down to the more than angry feline the
guard forgot he laid down the gauntlet and his bare hooves were no match to the fuzz balls can opener like claws.
He pranced a wicked dance with wicked words that even Apple Bloom had to cover the pongon foals ears.
He spun in circles leaping rolling bobbing while thrashing his hooves signaling his end to sanity his final moments
in Equestria before his blood and fur became a forgotten chapter in the history of his service in the Royal Guard.
Opal zeroed in and her fangs hit pay dirt the prize of prizes Chomp!
""I Yeeee I Yeeee yo hagga hagga Ghaaaaa fugal fugal hunnnnnnaaa! @#$#@!!**&&#@" His dance with the devil was cut short with a knock at the entrance.
Apple Bloom answered the door of the Boutique as the rest looked on, Standing on the threshold was a dark figure in a cloak
yellow eyes with slit pupils scanned the area a fanged smile pursed his lips letting out a howl as he entered unopposed.
"What's the problem buttercup? " He hissed "She's like all your other mare friends showing you a hard time and leaving you hurt".
The crusaders stared seeing the cloak drop exposing leathery wings, midnight blue armor and a snout full of razor sharp teeth.
Opal the Bar-B-Qed kitty saw the dark toothy form looming over her let out a hiss and exited stage left in a charcoal cloud.
The three foals took a breath "Buttercup? Your name is Buttercup? Mr. Royal Guard I can protect you like Buttercup?"
The thestral looked at the Crusaders and cocked his head rolling his eyes "What he didn't give you his full name?"
"He only gave us his initials 'B.C.' for Big Club or was it Boys Club?" Sweetie Belle said her tone under cutting the mood.
Buttercup scowled at the Lunar guard "You're late to your post!" He shook his throbbing hoof "You missed all the action".
"You're relieved now and nothing in the S.O.P. about being prompt after the promotions list getting issued".
"Hay I put in for a staff position this cycle what's it say about me?"
"Pending review"
"What?"
"It said pending review".
"I swear that commander hates us this is the seventh time I applied".
"No Buttercup that can't be true the Commander doesn't hate us, He hates you!"
"Now that I'm relieved I'm going back to the barracks and hit the hay".
"No so fast you better get to the infirmary you're reporting to sick call and have your hoof looked at".
"It's not so bad".
"You got blood and fur all over the floor".
"It's just a scratch".
"Is that bone?"
"It's a hoof nail".
"No it's not".
"Yes it is".
"You sure? It goes up to your elbow".
The bell rang over the boutiques door Rarity carried Spike in her magic as Pinkie bounces along beside her.
"Look at all the fur and blood all over my floor!" Rarity roared "Who did this!"
"Blood?"
"Blood!"
"Blood?"
A thud of a fainting body was heard throughout the room.
"Buttercup?"
" For a Royal Guard he sure is squeamish" Apple Bloom looked at the slumped stallion.
"Dang It's only a little scratch" Scootaloos eyes rolled.
"Rarity you and Spike did it again didn't you! You need to get separate beds, no separate rooms!" Sweetie teased
"Wait till you and Button Ma....."
"Oh look Buttercup's moving" Sweetie Belle darted up the stairs to her second floor guest room and slammed the door.
Spike came out of his coma still floating by Rarity looking at the sight below "Gee Buttercup what you do this time?"
"Everypony hates me Happy anabirthary you two".
Pinkie laid on the floor looking into Buttercups eyes her smile big her plot high in the air "I don't hate you-It's your anabirthary too?"
My Little Pongons
As days went this was a half dozen six of another Spikey was busy with assistant duties with Twilight and Rarity got stuck
with the pongons.(You can thank dear Aunty Pinkie for the new name of species), little balls of fur and scales armed with fire razor sharp
claws and the most adorable faces. Normally Rarity would object to the least bit of grime but Twilight had given her the flame proof
enchanted tools to handle an outing at the park and Spikes influence armed her to handle the baby buzz saws.
Her skin was covered in fur and scales the color of purely driven snow, Her petit black claws capped hooves of ivory.
Raritys change was only going to last till the next birthing while Twilights testing was on going as was the paparazzi.
Her business boomed with the newspaper, magazine articles and the unique arrangements that came from royalty.
But deep down she was stifling a scream or was it a squeal? Her mind raced with ideas as her hormones raged through her body.
She rolled to her back and squealed like a filly "Roar!" Oops Dracony noise lady mares be damned!
The two pongons roared with their mom "Roar! - Squeak !" Well they still have a lot of growing to do.
Looking up side down at the results of a love struck dragon and a unicorn with a track record of dramatic romantic demolitions.
"It could be worse" She shuddered "Your daddy could of been some other foolish thought of your mother - My Celestia what
possessed me to be so vane, so shallow?" She sighed "Precious scales you did this to me this lady can see quite clearly now".
The sapphire and emerald eyes looked hungrily at her treasures below, bounding then pouncing breakfast al la cart was served.
What was the dragon lady to do when duty calls and call they did. Rarity lit her horn and discretely cover the pongons with a
monogramed blanket nursing may be natural put it doesn't hurt to be polite, after all Rarity is a dragon lady.
The sun warmed her fur and scales as she peeked in the basket "hmmm" a few cucumber sandwiches with shaved rubies
a flask of cider and a flask of tea and a box of scones. Tucked along the goodies was a single note rolled up and tied with a purple ribbon.
She unrolled the parchment revealing a simple drawing of a knight of a dragon a damsel in a dress and two fuzzy balls with
green and blue dots for eyes with a red heart framing the whole design.
Below tucked to the side was a few romance novels complements of Aunty Twilight Sparkle and her design note pad
As she was drained of milk her design pad filled with ideas colors shapes feelings of beauty and joy.
,,,../)>o.o<(..,,,
Flame and fury escaped Spikes maw as he roared at the weight crushing him down as Twilight screamed
"Spike stop you can't do it!" her horn glowing at the ready.
"I must I will" Spike bellowed as he forced the weight up and away blowing out a stream of smoke.
Rainbow hovered yelling "You call yourself a dragon? Gummy has more bite than you do give it up scaley".
The bar dropped into the rest as Spike huffed out "That's one hundred bits you owe me" Spike smiled while Rainbow pulled
out a bag of bits.
"That's enough of the strength and endurance" Twilight spoke with satisfaction of another item checked off her special dragon
regiment "Item three hundred seventy seven". She went to prepare for her next procedure routine as usual.
"Three seventy seven?" Spike took a step back "Three seventy seven" he took another slow step back "Three seventy seven".
Spike turned and bolted for the door trying to exit the lab, in a purple flash all time stopped and a needle took the blood sample for
item three seventy seven. Spike held out the wounded limb like it was torn off in a fearsome battle with Fluttershys Angel Bunny.
"Ouch ouch ouch gosh Twilight what did you use a rusty fence pipe?" Spike gasped crying for the added drama
"You know how much I hate that!"
Spike continued his pity party in front of the two. Rainbow reached in her bag of bits and tossed two extra at the drake.
He stopped rolling on the floor to look at a snickering Dashy "What was that for?" Spike puzzled at her expression.
"Dude you must be taking lessons from the number one drama queen of Ponyville, I had to pay for a performance like that".
"Wait till you get poked with a big old rusty fence pipe". Wiping his eye for a faux tear, blush coming to his cheeks.
Twilight continued the examinations late into the noon hour stethoscopes and little rubber hammers made way to
wires and graph machines Spike laid back as Twilight asked him a battery of questions.
The laid back dragon started to snooze a little still answering Twilights quizzing haphazardly.
Clinical questions had a way of boring the drake to slumber the graph hummed along just as flat as the dialog till Rainbow
opened her fat muzzle "Spike how hot is Raritys flank?" she started giggling like a little madmare.
Before Twilight could say anything the graph came to life its stylist scribbling across the full scale as buzzing filled the air.
Twilight just stared at the results her mouth open "Well that's something".
Rainbow looked at the paper and started laughing clutching her sides bending over she lifted up the article of humor.
"Look Twilight look!" she cried out her fits of comedy continued "Look!"
Twilight stared at the scribbled lines with a blank expression "What?' she was at a loss for words, "What's so funny?"
Rainbow lost it rolling on the floor loud guffaws bellowed out of her lungs "It's - it's - it's. . . a wing boner!"
Spike awoke looking at the two mares "Ah guys what's so funny?"
,,,../)q.p(...,,,
"So Butters what got you assigned here any way?" Frosty asked his partner "Another raid on the mess hall?"
"Nope".
"Messy hoof locker?"
"No neat as can be".
"Dull brass work and armor?"
"Look for yourself".
"Could it be from that time lady Raritys cat hoofed your flank to you?"
"Why?"
"I can still see Luna laughing at you in front of the whole squad, You getting a Purple Heart for stopping the Opal uprising -medic! medic!".
"I swear somepony hates me I'm always getting the short end of the pike".
The bat bony put on his gear saluted Royal Guardspony Sgt. Buttercup "You're relieved from your post, Your new orders".
"A little early for my relief isn't it?" Night Frost passed Butters a sealed note a hay eating grin plastered on his fanged muzzle.
A field order for Butters? His eyes peeking at the contents. . . he gasped "Oh Flank! Now I know somepony hates me!"
"You have your new assignment beats mess duty"
"At least in the mess I can eat the leftovers".
,,,...(.,./)...,,,
Rarity watched her drake with Twilight strolling into the park with the usual guard escort.
Behind her she heard her own two sentries talking, turning her head she saw Buttercup trotting up removing his helmet he sat in
the grass obviously waiting for Spike and The Princess to take their places. The Night Guard stood his post funny he looked too happy
for such a mundane assignment or does this have any bearing with Buttercups social position?
When the two royals got next to the blankets edge Butterscup stood at ease and presented the orders to the Princess,
He started to bow when Twilight spoke up "No need to bow Sgt. Buttercup"
He then raised a hoof salute.
"I'll have none of that"
Bowing once more he slapped his hooves to his sides.
"You can relax I won't bite".
Ducking and bobbing he lowered himself to the grass not knowing if this was some trick or was Princess Twilight really that casual.
Twilight and Spike joined Rarity on the sheet spread across the grass Rarity nuzzled him softly not wanting to wake the pongons.
He peeked under the monogramed blanket to see his offspring snoozing "How long?" he whispered with a smile.
She whispered back "close to three hours I see our guard finally got his new assignment orders". She gave Spike sly wink.
Butters sat nervously in the grass his plight not unknown to the white mare "Twilight not that it is any of my business but why
is Sgt. Buttercup just sitting here , What is his new position or assignment if I should be so bold to ask?"
Twilight looked up from her treat "Oh nothing special he's moving out of the main post in Canterlot to the castle something to
do about logistics".
Spike looked at the bewildered stallion "Hay Butters take a load off Frosty's got the watch and don't sweat the small stuff
I got it handled we got plenty of room in the castle".
Spike pulls Butters down next to Twilight and plops his plot next to her stuffing a cucumber sandwich into the guards muzzle.
"'merfle' I sure want to thank 'smack' you for the help with 'munch' the new orders but 'gulp' I swear Spike somepony in
high places hates me really really 'cough' hates me I wanted special forces and I got this". he raised his hooves eyeing the park.
Twilight spoke "Spike take a letter. . ."
,,,...(.o./)...,,,
Princess Celestia watched the letter from Spike appear in a flash of green smoke she grasped it and began reading
a frown started to grow as she saw Twilights report and accommodations made for the new guard she continued on into the script
a small smile crept on her muzzle then she read Spikes note secreted at the bottom and she burst out laughing.
"Luna phase one is finished it's time for phase two for operation Sparkling Buttercup".
"The same treatment as the Lady Rarity and her Dragon mate my sister?"
"Yes Luna ,Little Candance might be a Princess of love But I shall best her once more!"
"By dream cheating as always my sister?"
"But the offspring are adorable Lulu".
"I thought it was the wager?"
"Well that too my dark sister".
"Twilight with foal by two?"
"Twilight by a nose in three?'
"Send a dispatch to the Crystal Empire".
"Why not let the press issue a statement?"
"You're such a wicked sister".
"Yeah but think of the pongons"
"Pongons?"
"It was an element of laughter thingy".
"Cake?"
"Sure"
May I Come In?
Rarity sat in the boutiques inspiration room finishing up this seasons elegant ensemble she always had a knack
She watched the steam of her coffee rise above her cup toying with her new ability she puffed a ball of steam herself
Her musing continued as she filed away her drawings and patterns after all was secure she strolled out for another
"Sweetie Bell may I come in?" Rarity politely quizzed her foul mouthed sister.
"Yes!" Sweetie barked her voice now harsh but restrained "You can come in sis" Her voice now subdued "Sorry I lost it".
"Sweetie?" Rarity diplomatically asked "You sound like I did when giving birth to the twins, Are you giving birth to some pony?"
The young mares eyes grew wide "Oh that's so gross I need somepony first to have a baby Gee Rarity I'm not that desperate!"
"Trouble with the colts?"
"Just one".
"Don't tell me he's all me me me and not we we we?"
"How'd you know?"
"I was just like you young to the world of males it took me a long time to see who was for we and not the ones who just said me."
"Spike?"
"Well he wasn't Prince Blue Blood or Trenderhoof even Spike thought of me when I only thought of my selfish little me me me".
"Well Mr. me stood me up again and now I have tickets for the Rara concert and no pony to take".
"What about Apple Bloom or Scootaloo I'm sure. . ."
"They are already going and the concert tonight".
Rarity thought for a bit and stepped out of the room humming a little tune "come along Sweetie".
They entered the kitchen Sweetie sat at the table as Rarity made another cup of coffee and an extra cup for her sister.
Sweetie scrunched up her muzzle thinking "Well. . .I guess nice looking but right now he can be alive and breathing for starters".
Rarity tapped her chin huffed out a puff of steam "Dear how do you feel about trying somepony different, Somepony exotic?'
Sweetie frowned "What's this exotic stuff?" she eyed her sister "I'm not taking Spike that's like Apple Bloom taking Big Mac".
Rarity giggled at the thought and leaned out the kitchen door "Frost . . .Night Frost can you come here for a moment?"
On the ceiling by the chandelier a dark figure hung on a beam it's golden eyes squinting at the light a fanged mouth
Rarity nodded to the guard "Buttercup is with Spike and the twins at Twilights there is no emergency but I do require your assistance
"What is the problem?"
Rarity briefed Frost on the little concert 'date' without naming the young mare in question as Sweetie listened on in the kitchen her hopes pulled out and laid on the table along with an extra mug of coffee.
Frost took in the proposal and shrugged "I'm off duty tonight as long as there's no conflict of interest who is this young mare?"
"My sister Sweetie Belle".
Rarity stepped aside as Sweetie bolted from behind face to muzzle to the Lunar guard.
Sweetie screamed "YOU!"
Frost yelled "The ARSONIST!"
Rarity muttered "You two have met before?"
The two answered her as one "We met at the hospital. . ." They both snorted in laughter "When you had. ." Sweetie pointed at him
Rarity trotted along "My work here is done" as the two introduced soon to be concert goers engaged in small talk and coffee.
-----------------------------------\( .)o( .)///-----------------------------------
Meanwhile back at the Castle no not the one in Canterlot or the one in the Crystal Empire or even
"Twilight I'm finished with item thirty six on the third index card I'm going to get lunch started" Spike called to his
"About what?"
"Oh things You Rarity the girls . . .things".
"Guess Flash didn't follow through like all the other guys Eh?"
"Oh Spike I'm the Princess of Friendship for Fousts sake and I'm still a . . .a . . .a"
"Virgin?" Spike guessed on the one thing he never had to guess at like his crush on Rarity everypony in town knew about 'Twilight'.
"Spike what am I going to do Shining and Cadance have a foal you and Rarity have twins, Fluttershy and Big Mac are an item and
"Ah I guess the books ain't doing it for ya are they?"
"No Spike I've even read all the smutty romance stuff Rarity checks out too".
"Have you tried Pinkies Network?"
"Spike what are you thinking, I can't do that I'm a Princess how would it look like when everypony hears I'm using her dating service?"
"More business?"
"Spike!"
"I'm going to fix us up some lunch oh and Rarity's coming over too".
"What about the twins, I thought she was watching them?"
"Na I let her work in peace and quiet this morning".
"So who's watching the foals?"
"I am" Spike turned around what Twilight saw made her eyes grow wide in fright "Spike! Doesn't that hurt?"
"Na thick spines and scales must be a dragon thing" On Spikes back hung the twins clawing and gnawing on his spines drooling as
"I should hope not for her sake" Twilight winced as the foals clamped for a more effective hold "Spike are you sure that doesn't hurt?"
"Yep I'm cool you up for waffles or daisy sandwiches?" He got to work preparing lunch the two pongons swaying to the rhythm
B.C. stood guard duty in the main hall marching back and forth just inside the entry doors his gauntlets leggings and helmet weighing him down sliding out of place and just being a pain to deal with "I swear somepony who designed this stuff hates me".
The castle door creaked open and the fashionable dragon lady entered the hall "B.C. I thought I had you watching the family?"
"They're in the kitchen preparing lunch Mrs. Thee Dragon and it's Sergeant Butter. . .cup".
"Enough with the pleasantries Butters you are to join us for lunch and remove that dreadfully heavy armor we have other guards
" Yes, Mrs. Thee Dragon and it's Sergeant Buttercup".
"It's Rarity and you don't need to be so formal Butters you're among family" Rarity trotted along to the kitchen.
Butters removed his armor putting it into a closet and then followed the lady "lunch? Spike? somepony really hates me".
Rarity entered the kitchen greeted Spike with a nuzzle along with the two buzz saws gnawing away she then levitated the dining-ware
"Rarity you put out one too many sets" Twilight counted out the wares "I see..." Before she finished Rarity smiled her sly smile.
"Oh excuse me I'm so besides myself Twilight my dear we have a guest today if I may beg your indulgence".
"Oh?" Twilight fidgeted in her seat "are you sure I'm not really presentable. . "
"Not an issue Auntie Sparkle I'm confident you have nothing to worry about he's one of Spikes friends"
Rarity turned looking for the mystery stallion "Sergeant Buttercup?"
"May I come in?" the voice carried from the doorway making Twilights ears perk up.
"Butters I think it's better for us all if you had lunch here and not in the hallway it makes for a difficult conversation".
"Um ok Hi ya Spike. . . Ah oh Princess Twilight Sparkle" His tongue rolling the P, T and S like a mouth full of marbles.
"Hay B.C. sup?" Spike dished out half the meal as Rarity portioned out the rest the twins still gnawing in his back.
"Ah Spike dude doesn't that bug you? Butters pointing at the two living vice-grips. Spike just waved a dismissing claw.
"Rarity and Spike gave thanks and started to consume mass quantities her using lady like manor and the dragon not so much.
All was quiet other than Spike and Raritys small conversation and the noise of diner ware on fine castle ware china.
Twilight picked at her food as was Butters both thinking Spike I'm so going to get you back for this! and feeling the
"So Sergeant Butters what do you think of your new posting?" Rarity quizzed trying to chip away at the ice.
"I've been keeping busy around the grounds nothing special just doing my job and staying out of trouble".
"I thought your new job was Twilights escort?" Spike felt a hoof nudge his foot he looked at his wife getting an up lifted brow signal.
"That's only when she leaves the confines of the castle other than that I remain at my post in the main hall".
"Isn't that a waste of productivity?" Twilight quipped " With Spike busy I sure could use a helping hoof . . .sometimes,
Butters looked at the sight of the gorged princess in front of him frozen in erotic food play. His brain exploded the bad dreamNow I really know somepony really really really HATES me "Duh duh duh" he turned to Spike with a blank face.
Spike glanced at Rarity then to Butters then to Twilight then back to Rarity "Ah Twilight you're supposed to swallow now".
Twilights lips enclosed the massive opening in her muzzle and like a python swallowed every bit and napkin too, the bulge
Butters let out a roar of laughter as an emotionally stunted Twilight tried to be as one with the table giving it a forceful face plant.
Rarity stunned with the display of pure barbarism remained silent at least till Spike opened his big yapper.
"Twilight would you like seconds I've got more on the stove".
Twilight slowly raised her head as Butters settled down a large grin on his face as he turned to the drake.
"Spike dude I've never seen a mare do such an awesome thing in my life does she always chow down like a boss?"
"Meh you should see her down a triple oat burger with everything and an extra load of hay fries on the side she beats Big Mac hoofs down".
The ice was shattered and the quartet enjoyed lunch with witty banter and a little cider to lubricate the mind and tongue .
Rarity and Spike cleared the table and loaded the sink with the dishes as Twilight and Buttercup helped "So you don't mind getting your
"Twilight dear Spike and I need to feed the twins If you don't mind?" Spike tried to remind her that they had already been fed but
The two remained cleaning in the suds as the other two conspirators made there way to the rooms above on the next floor,
Spike gave Rarity a kiss laced with a smug look "Ok Rares what's going on with Twilight and Butters?"
"Oh nothing Spikey".
"Nothing really?"
"Yes precious scales absolutely nothing".
"Yeah right I see that look in your eyes".
Rarity batted her lashes and zoomed in on her dragon "It's nothing at all Spikey wikey".
Spike zoned out his heart all a flutter "Anything for you Rarity"
Gets him every time!
Spikes belly grumbled and a flaming belch sounded Rarity seized the scroll as he watched.
"Who's that from?"
"Princess Celestia and Luna she sends us their thanks Spikey".
"A thank you for what?"
"Dreams can only go so far my dear sometime a little power lunch can seal the deal as they say".
"Ah what?"
"Nap time my dragon".
"It's only two o'clock . . .Oh. . . ok"
In a Canterlot castle bed chamber the sun interrupts the nights slumber "Sister be prepared for tonight's the night!"
Sweet Deals
Sweetie rummaged through Raritys stock of fashionable wares "Too fru fru, too butch, too glitzy... not fru fru enough".
She picked along the racks of her sisters special 'limited edition selection' the thought of his yellow eyes the aqua marine fur his leathery
Twilight and B.C. finished scrubbing and drying the dishes the two worked into the evening the alicorn peeking at
"Ah Sergeant Buttercup?" She had to know.
"Call me Butters" He was clueless.
"Ok Butters?" She had to ask.
"Yeah that's fine, Want some coffee?" He was still clueless.
"Can I ask you a question?" She was getting nervous.
"Sure" He could see she was nervous and put a full coffee mug in front of her his hoof trembling Spike I'm so going to kill you!
"Yeah? I ah well can I ask you how you became a Royal Guard being you're an earth pony?"
"EARTH PONY?" Somepony really hates me! Spike you scaley mule!
"Oh no no no no I could of done better" She said under her breath her hooves covering her face.
"I'm a unicorn".
"You are?" She was clueless.
"Yeah" He pulled his mane back revealing a scar where his horn should of been.
"I'm sorry".
"Why? it's not your fault".
"But I called you an earth pony" He took a sip of his coffee and motioned her to do the same. "What happened?"
"Life. . .I was called a gimp a retard a stumpy it was how I met Spike. He was in the same wing of the hospital they had him under
Twilight gasped "You didn't".
"Sure Spike almost burned down the hospital he laughed so hard".
Twilight studied the hornless unicorn "So what about your magic how can you focus the energy?"
His blue eyes glowed losing all contrast and color a void of endless nothingness followed as if she could see beyond the confines of
"My magic has no signature and my eyes usually scare the buggers out of the average pony".
Twilight wave a hoof across his eyes "I'm not blind by the way it's a little weird to others. . .to see..." He stared into her eyes. . .
Twilight watched his eyes fade back from the galaxies returning his gaze she ate the muffin Rarity you sneaky. . .I'm so going..
B.C. sipped his coffee "I'm so going to kick Spikes flank".
The nervous tension grew between the two awkward retards Both trying to figure out what to do next in this game of hearts.
"Excuse me" A sleepy Spike waddled along to the sink grabbed a glass stuffed it under the tap and drew himself a drink, after guzzling
Spike and Rarity you two are really going to get it. . .So bad!" the two answered "Thank you Spike".
The concert gates where opened in the throng of ponies that entered the arena six had been singled out from the crowd
A list appeared high in a Royal press box Sweetie Belle and Night Frost check Twilight and Buttercup checkApple Bloom and Rumble? check Twist and Button Mash check What's Scootaloo doing with that Kentucky Fried guy? the farmer, the baker, the caretaker with her plow stud and the proud Rainbow Dash "The night is young my little ponies".
Raw Deals
Rarity rode her scaley steed down the sand dunes her army following the fashionable general to the sea.
Rarity mumbled into Spikes chest "It's alright Daddy's on it" her eyes snapped open realizing that it was a dream of times to come.
The morning went swimmingly for Raritys plan for Twilight and her little sisters big date night, The morning had no crying
Spike nudged Rarity through the entryway holding her as she stumbled both with her hooves and words. Sweeties vocabulary
Rarity muttered little quiet eulogies for all the deadly crimes to fashion that littered the floor she looked at the dress Sweetie had on
"It's not all her fault"Another voice spoke from the kitchen "Last night sort of bombed halfway through the concert some jack wagons started a riot as for this place we started cleaning after we got back a few hours ago after we got bailed out of the stockade".
Sweetie spoke softly knowing the pain she caused her "I just wanted to be noticed". An ice pack replacing another on her side.
"Sweetie are you hurt?"
"Na it's not bad".
"How big was the riot?" Spike quizzed her.
"Not too big about seven hundred ponies and Button".
"Button?" Rarity holding the ice pack on Sweeties side examining her for other injuries the dress issues quickly put on hold.
"He took a cheep shot with Frosty before the riot". Sweeties voice became sharp as a knife "He had it coming anyway".
Spike shot a sly grin at the bat winged guard
Raritys eyes twitched as she slowly turned, her petite claws on her hooves wiggling for the babes in Spikes arm mouthing something
Spike raced out the door in a cloud of fabric only to return as fast as he left giving Rarity a quick peck on her lips and ordering
The stockade was nothing special just a small jail like structure on the outskirts of town seldom used regularly
"Hello Spike I'm a little busy now".
" Hi Friday, I'm looking for Twilight have you seen her?"
"Nope all I got are a group of hooligans from out of town calling themselves black flies matter".
"It's quite a mess in here can I look?"
"Sure thing just don't get too close to the trouble makers, The report would be bad enough, I'd hate to explain things to your lady".
"Yeah she can be a hoofful being an Element bearer and all that".
"Element? Oh Pinkie's in the block she's trying to cheer up some of the lesser inmates".
"Oh great she'd know who's in here". Spike beamed of hope "What cell's she in?"
"Don't know right off hoof she just pops in and out Celestia knows how she does that, just listen for her laughter you can't miss it".
Spike thanked Sergeant Friday exiting the office and wondering the noisy cell blocks the inmates sudden silence
"Pinkie I just don't know how you do it going out almost every night after working full time at the Cakes, Planing your parties, But
A chorus of hung over voices moaned "enough with the lectures please have mercy we'll never get in trouble ever again!"
Pinkies voice got quiet "Twilight before I tell you my secret you have to promise not to tell anypony" seriousness fill the air
Spike knew Twilight made the promise as her yelp filled his ears "Yep still has problems with her promises". Spike listened in. . .
"You're right Ponyville doesn't have that many stallions in it but he's my special somebuggy I met him in Canterlot at your BBBFF s
"A CHANGLING?" Twilight screamed "ARE YOU CRAZY?"
'You Pinkie promised. . ."
Spike heard it all and so did the press Spike scribbled on a parchment and quickly dispatched it in a gout of fire
"Twilight?" His ears had the truth his eyes saw a purple pegasus as he looked in the cell confused he asked in a whisper "Twilight?"
"It's me Spike"
"Oh a disguise I got to get you out before the pressponies get to you they'll have a field day! what name did you give the guards?"
"Miss Smarty pants".
"What?"
"I gave no name I was too drunk to stand".
"What you drunk?"
Pinkie giggled "She was hammered!"
"Yes Spike I did".
"Where's Butters?"
"Pinkie told me he's in the hospital nothing bad just a few bumps"
"Pinkie what did you do to get in here?"
"Nothing" She smiled a happy smile " I'm just cheering up ponies who need it".
Spike face clawed and saw the pressponies closing in. Twilights magic faded to reveal her real self "See ya later".
" Pinkie and a. . ." Twilight stared at Pinkie as the pink one waved bye bye to Miss not so Smartypants.
Spike shot a flame covering the princess removing her from the pressing problems at hoof and looked at Pinkey with a raised brow
"A changling named Doomie?"
Pinkey froze in horror at the drakes question her eyes shifting right to left and back her nervous sweat pouring to the floor.
"I'm cool hope he makes you happy" Spike winked with a smile.
Pinkie hugged Spike in her patented squeezey grip as he thought of how she escaped her cell so quickly.
"Yes he does just like you and Rarity, Happy happy happy If you need a babysitter I'm always available".
"Cool".
Celestias quiet soothing voice called out in the Castle Canterlot "Come along young lady we have a little talking to catch up with, tea?"
Author's Note
Doomie is our favorite changling the brain child of Dr. Atlas Author of 'Do You?"
Press On
Before Spike exited the stockade after having 'transferred' inmate number three seven five twenty three to royal custody
"Ask him I can't say anything on the matter".
"Gosh Friday That's so uncool I filed the proper stuff what gives" His feet spinning on a cloud of dust the papers blowing in the breeze .
"Next time you'll remember the jelly doughnuts with the glaze on top you know the ones I like" He yelled after the dust cloud as it's
Spike ran till he saw that the coast was clear, with no press following he felt good the now Spike felt like a treat and the best placeLets see Rarity the kids Sweetie Belle Frosty "Pinkie's sure busy today".'From the stockade to Sugar Cube Corner in nothing flat how does she do it????'
qOp
"Somepony really hates me" he muttered as his bandages where being reapplied.
"Sergeant Buttercup of the Royal Guard Platoon five of the sixty ninth under special assignment to the Princess of Friendship
"He has multiple fractured ribs contusions over half his body two sprained fetlocks and a closed fracture in his right front knee".
"Sorry orders from the highest levels and he will be cared for under Guard supervision" His hooves passed on a copy of the orders
"Under investigation for what?" Butters winced as the last of his bindings got tightened down.
"Strict need to know basis you will be informed after we deliver you to the Castle".
"Somepony really hates me" muttered the Sergeant he then spoke to the nurse "Thank you for the services catch you all later".
"Bye Butters" Nurse Red Heart sadly spoke "Take care of yourself" she looked at the chart before filing it away with a little heartfeltI'd love to be at his check up.
qOp
With the mess at the Boutique cleaned up and the dress from Tartarus laundered Rarity pondered to either wait for Spike
"Sweetie dear can you ask if Night Frost might be staying for lunch as you know we wont take no for an answer".
"Can I cook too?"
"Does Night Frost have training as a firepony?"
"You know Twilight put a fire proofing spell on this place don't you?"
"It doesn't apply itself to food stuffs, Spike might like your charcoal flavored orange juice with gem stones as a change of pace
"Can I get him a glass of water for now?"
"Ok Sweetie dear, I don't think any harm can come of it".
A knock came from the front door of her shop "Ah speaking of Spikey that must be him now" Rarity answered the door taking the
qOp
Spike looked out from around the mound of boxes he was carrying as Rarity guessed he had ordered enough for all
"I'm home everyone ready for" as Spike turned to greet everypony he gasped and then yelled "What are you doing here?"
"Spikey dearest" Raritys eyes fluttered at her drake "Spikey it's alright he's a guest and wishes to apologize for his misguided
"Does he always get this way when you do that?" the stallion asked. As Spikey settled down from the effects of the Rare stare.
"No Mr. Note Bug I always get my way when I do that" Rarity mused "No male in his right mind can resist my beautiful eyes".
"Except Trenderhoof or my half cousin Blue Blood" Spike deadpanned as he laid out the grub "As for me I just can't say no".
Spike served the Misses and put an apron on prepping to feed the babes while nibbling on the salmon. "Sweetie Frosty lunch".
Rarity and Spike gave the new guest a bit of veggies and a cucumber sandwich after all it's a little rude to eat in front of an
The whole bunch ate quietly the conversation light with the days events Sweetie and Frost recounting the riot at the concert
"So now you've apologized what's keeping you here?" Spike quizzed Note Bug "You sure you don't have anything else?"
"Well to be honest I'd like to write an article on the two of you" worry in his words seeped out along the edges "If you both don't mind?"
Spike eyed him then focused on Rarity with a shrug of his shoulders "Ok by me what do you think Rares?"
"Well in light of all that has happened I'm sure the truth should be told and what better way than by those it pertains to".
qOp
Celestia sat on the throne doing her usual business of running a country raising the sun and plotting on how to sneak"Her Highness has the plot of a HIPPO oh the HORROR!"
Her musings where interrupted when the guards announced the arrival of the 'package' it was placed before the Princess of the sun
"Ah Hello there Princess Celestia ya wanted to ah see me?"
"Did you take Princess Twilight Sparkle to a concert that turned into a full scale riot?"
"The music sucked major horse apples your Highness".
"Did you enter into unlawful combat with civilians while at that event?"
"They drew the first blood your Highness".
"Did you use transformation magic on Princess Sparkle?"
"Illusion spell your Highness".
"You can call me Tia".
"Ah what?"
"Tia"
"OK"
"So you went to the concert a riot broke out you defended the Princess and protected her identity and received wounds in the line of duty".
"Yes your highness ah Tia".
"From whom did you receive said ticket for the concert?"
"Ah do I have to?" he moaned "How can they be held accountable?"
"Just a formality no charges just curious that's all".
"Spike, he got them from the Element of Generosity".
"Ok one or three more questions before we are finished".
The pregnant pause filled the room as Tia shuffled the papers into a file folder." Spike was right in sending her to me and his report".
"Did you get a chance to kiss the Princess?"
"What?"
"Did you get lucky when she was drunk on her plot?"
"WHAT ? NO! She was all over me but everything happened so fast and the fight started then she passed out and I had to carry her
"So do you like her?" "Got you! Rarity I WON THE BET! YES ! She didn't even get up to bat - not even first base! yea yes yes!"
" She's a little weird".
"That's not what I asked, Do you like her?" "Spike you rascal"
"She's a little nerdy".
"My sister says otherwise" a sly grin filled Celestias muzzle her eyes glowed with the next answer. "cute I like him already".
"What Princess Luna knows? That's just flat out rude uncalled for, low . . .really. . . low down . . ."
"Do you like her?" "He's shy a nice match for Twilight, Spike did good".
"Well. . . You're not going to tell her are you?"
"Not if you help me on another problem , Do you know anything about kitchens and how to liberate a lonely piece of cake?"
"You know I'm all covered in bandages and limp a bit?"
qOp
Meanwhile back at Ponyville in the Carousel Boutique during Note Bugs first private interview with Spike and Rarity
Pressing Buttons
Rarity awoke in her Canterlot Boutiques rear bed chamber a classy Canterlot voice filled her ears "Ah up for another busy day are we not?" Her eyes darted from the family picture that laid face down on her night table to Fancy Pants dressing himself at the foot of her
Before his last words escaped his muzzle a racket sounded outside the bedroom door the walls shaking from the bucking of angry hooves "I'm looking for my big sister out of the way Sassy!"
The door exploded twice, once off it's hinges as it flew through the air and second as it smashed in the wall over the beds headboard,
Sweeties gaze moved to the picture that was face down on the night table and next to the guilty horse in the soiled bed sheets.
"How could you?" Sweeties quiet rage filled the room "How could you?" Her steps echoed in the room time frozen still for an answer.
"He doesn't have to know Sweetie, It can be our little secret. . .I can. . ." Rarity pleaded with a whisper dread filling her voice.
"Rarity He already knows, They all knew from the first day you started this affair".
"But surely they can keep it a secret a scandal is the last thing they need". Rarity bargained.
"Rarity you broke Spike, Everypony knows -EVERYPONY KNOWS!" Sweetie cried "It's in all the papers Twilight knows the Princesses
"But I'll be ruined" She moaned "Ruined".
"You lost everything Rarity," Sweeties words struck home "Spike's moving back with Twilight with the kids, You better not show up
Sweetie turned leaving the two alone in the room passing Sassy with a snort, Rarity watched her little sister join Night Frost as they
"Sassy watch over everything I have some mending to do at Ponyville, Fancy Pants don't just stand there do something!"
Rarity stared at the horse with the inside out up side down attire as he trotted along "TaTa Rarity it was nice roll in the hay as it was"
Cameras flashed as Fancy exited the boutique, he held a kerchief over his muzzle as he galloped down the street.
O,o
Rarity slowly trotted along the Ponyville streets alone her disguise keeping unwanted attention away.
By Order of the Princess
All properties under this order are to be sealed until judgment of the court
case # S 0000127654
Spike Great Honorable Brave Glorious thee Dragon VS Rarity thee Dragon
\\\\NO ENTRY PERMITTED /////////
By order of T. Sparkle Princess
Derpy landed next to the White mare warring an oversized hat and gray trench coat it was a perfect landing one of only aSniff
Rarity wept bitterly on her stomach the summons and order to show cause laying in front of her muzzle she needed to find out
Rainbow Dash? wild mare. loyal, little to no family experience, has a cider problem. . .One buck Chuck.
Twilight Sparkle? absolutely not I'm lucky not to be banished to the moon. . .Could lecture me to death.
Fluttershy? can she handle my situation without going to pieces. . .Oh dear me. . .It would kill her.
Apple Jack? strong family values, she wouldn't understand the needs of a sophisticated mare. . .She'd kill me.
Pinkie Pie? she knows everypony, Pinkie sense, Pinkie knows, Pinkie promises are always confidential . . .She's always happy.
As Rarity approached the steps of Sugar Cube Corner she heard a "Pisssst" she looked left "Pisssst" She looked right "Pisssst"
A pink hoof waved from an upper story window motioning for Rarity to get her plot in gear and go up stares.
Rarity entered the sweet shop, They had tabloids scattered on the tables her picture on every page, she continued on her disguise still
Rarity galloped up the stares passing an angry mob of ponies. In that mob she saw Rainbow and Fluttershys disappointed looks.
Rarity lightly knocked on Pinkies door and waited for it to open she knocked once more and the door opened slightly Rarity slid
"So you did it. You took a happy happy family that gave you everything in this world and crapped on it. You stupid horse!"
Rarity turned to face the voice the room was pitch black she knew it was Pinkies voice she heard, but something was off
"Why ? I thought you'd be used to the dark it's your hearts favorite color" Pinkies voice was different it wasn't bubbly it wasn't happy
"Pinkie?"
"He thought the world of you till you shattered it, You had it all but you had to be a horse and make Spikey Wikey so sad".
"Pinkie? I'm sorry".
"So how was Fancy Pants without his PANTS?" Pinkie lustfully spoke "Was a roll in the hay with that Fancy elite snob worth it?"
"Pinkie you're scaring me, Please turn on a light".
"I know why you are here and YOU hurt Spikey really bad, You know how I get when you break a Pinkie promise".
"Pinkie I didn't break a Pinkie promise, a little light please?"
"Rarity your wedding vow to Spikey is more binding than any Pinkie promise I know - till death do you part".
A light switched on illuminating a Pinkie with a straight mane sitting on her party cannon, skull and cross bones scribbled in
With an explosion of confetti and streamers Raritys world went black.
O.o
Raritys ears rang from the noisy cannon shot she tried to move but her hooves where bound to whatever facing all points of the compass.
Her eyes tried to focus in the dark as images flashed through her mind, Images of happier times, Gem hunts with her Spikey Wikey
All the little things that time forgot.
The spa trip with Fluttershy when she found out that Spike did more then help around the boutique.
Twilights lectures on the pit falls of incompatible species and her surprise when Rarity wasn't sick with the stomach flu.
Pinkies baby showers, Pongon - Dracony parties and getting Spike hammered at his bachelor party with Rainbow flying him
Raritys eyes spotted a dim light from a tired candle wick her images replaced with voices,
"Anything for you Milady".
"I can't believe he did it he finally asked you to go steady, Oh I'm sorry I got a little excited, I'm so happy for you".
"Sugar Cube I can't think of any other couple more deserving than you two".
"It's like it ain't no surprise everyone knew it would happen and this ain't the cider talking either".
"Well bust my buttons Rarity wont that hurt business if word gets out?"
"My little Rara is going out with a dragon and not a Prince you're braking your mothers heart how could you?"
"Rarity I'll be at Twilights for a few hours got things handled?"
"My dear Rarity It looks like you need a pick me up is there anything I can do for you ? I'm sure Fleur wouldn't
"Rarity how could you everypony knows, You broke Spike".
"Rarity thee Dragon the court finds you guilty of breach of contract, Dragon labor laws, Defaming a National hero, Abandoning your
"That's right Rarity you broke him" the dim candle light was joined by two piercing blue eyes "Pinkamena Dian Pie at your service".
The light grew as the flames covered the wicks Rarity was tied to a table surrounded by the ingredients for a cupcake feast.
Flour.
Sugar.
Vanilla.
Salt.
Milk.
Spices of all sorts.
Tools of the baking trade laid on the tables wall hangers pots pans mixing bowls spoons and lots and lots of knives, long knives
Pinkamena Dian Pie approached the bound and tied Rarity step by step inch by inch scared blue eyes met mad mare blue eyes
"Any last words before we're done?" Pinkamena Diane Pie smiled a wide goofy smile cocking her head to get Raritys answer.
Rarity cried out her volume maxed out "I WANT MY SPIKEY WIKEY! Waaaaaaaaaaaa".
Pinkies hair poofed out "Why didn't you say so in the first place" Miss. Pie blinked "All you need to do is to wake up silly".
"What?" Rarity quietly gasped as the room melted like ice cream left on a hot park sidewalk flowing into a nice soothing pink.
Another set of blue eyes appeared over Pinkies and a quiet Canterlot voice soothed the scared unicorn
"Good night Rarity thee Dragon I hope Miss. Pies procedures didn't place undue stress upon your worried dream".
"I was rather thrown off with my lack of claws and Sweetie Belles batfoal child, But Miss. Pie what was that strangely outrageous
"Nothing" Pinkie said in the most innocent voice she could muster "Nothing at all Ha Ha...Ha Ha ha". Sweat pouring off her head,
"Rarity you owe Tia a few bits Twilight didn't make it to first base on her concert date it seems a Miss. Dash served cider till
"Oh you saw that?" Rarity blushed "She was adorable wasn't she?"
"Your slumber ends Rarity thee Dragon" Lunas horn flared as she laughed "Yes she IS quite adorable"
Rarity awoke with a giggle "She is quite adorable" Her eyes shot wide open "IS adorable!" Rarity sprung upright in bed
The sleepy dragon rolled over to face his lady love "Sweetie's at your families house Frosty's down stares on duty, Twilight's in
Spike looked into Raritys hungry eyes sparkling brightly "Rares are you all right?"
Rarity smothered her drake in kisses "First base indeed" was all he heard before her romantic attack in the wee hours of the morning.
O.O
Luna peeked into Celestias bed chamber "Sister I wager two hundred bits that when cousin Spike comes to pick up Twilight
"You're on, I hope the Lady Rarity brings what she owes from her lost wager with Twilights failed date".
"Better than that Flash no show".
"Think Candance knows about your limp spell?"
"Didn't need it".
"Oh"
And The Winner Is?
Spike was again sitting on a train on his way to Canterlot , Belching out a morning scroll at the breakfast table was a
"Ok Twilight what have you done now? Turn Butters into as sapient smear of goo on the south wall of the cafeteria?" He mused
With the thought of his own lectures with Twilight about his relationship with Rarity rolling about in his noggin Spike came to one,
Spike sat looking out of the train cars window at nothing in particular, time moving along just as slow as the steaming locomotive
"You smell like Moldy hay and garbage dripping with dragon perspiration, Oh Spikey Wikey I don't know what to say, such a
The smile grew on the sleeping drakes snout dreams that would cause a fic to reach a mature rating, his dreaming continued
"Spike that's not the point I'm your benefactor your guardian and when it hits the newspapers that your foaling around with
"Ah Twilight it's not like I can knock her up or cause her any other problems what's the big deal? besides I'm her favorite dragon".
"Spike you're Equestrias only dragon".
"Well duh".
Spikes dream flowed like a babbling brook "Oh Spikey those claws of yours are driving me crazy"
"Yeah right nice prank did Rainbow put you up to this?"
"Spikey I'm carrying your foal".
"Really, No fooling?"
"Yes my dear".
"Wow that's awesome I'm really happy but. . ."
"Yes Precious Scales?"
"What will Twilight think?"
"Oh dear".
"That'll be future Spikes problem the now Spike feels pretty good, how?"
"You surely helped my dearest, now about Twilight. . ."
"I would say with Twilight you got off lucky young drake!" a set of blue eyes invaded Spikes dream "Did you bring the bits lady Rarity
Even in his dream he blushed like a sunburnt colt "Lucky? You didn't get to clean the castle for a month after Twilight had her
"You didn't have to deal with Princes Twilights dream world of panic attacks, compulsive obsessions and her strange fear of cheese.
"Point taken, So now that we're talking here what's up?"
"How can I put this. . ."
"Twilights got a problem with butt. . ?"
"Twilights fine".
"She didn't lecture him?"
"She did and for quite a length of time".
"I can see where this is going".
"You can?"
"Yeah, Twilight will ask if Butters had any clue to the social dynamics of an interpersonal relationship and the paring of species
"You are close master Spike".
"What ? The relationship stuff?"
"No the 'got nothing' part, We searched the entire castle Sergeant Buttercup is AWOL".
Spike put is best foot forward thinking how to fix Twilights dating problem and settle the debt his lady had with the two Princesses.
"I think I can fix things here , How about double or nothing ? Twilight and Butters to third base in a day or double your bits?"
"I shall take that wager on behalf of the kingdom".
-----------------------------------------O.O--------------------------------------
Rarity toiled with her consignments at the boutique as Night Frost and Sweetie occupied the two pongons with their daily
...................................................>.<................................................
From the station Spike waddled along the cobble stone roads of Canterlot with no wasted steps like a missile launched
.....................................................O.o......................................................
Rarity fell to the floor with a loud thud her breaths shallow and raked with pain she rolled into a ball gripping her
At the rear of the boutique Night Frost and Sweetie where pongon sitting when a dragons roar exploded in the sewing room.
..............................................................>.O......................................................
Spike stopped at the front of the barracks of the EUP entry depot where every new recruit looked the same.
"Well if it isn't Spike, long time no see. How are you and Captain Shining doing?" cinders from his cigar floating into the oatmeal.
"Hay Top Knot, The whole families doing good, real good just Shines little sis has a little guy problem" Spike scanned the mess floor
"What? Stumpy having problems, When has Stumpy not have a problem". His speech adding more cigar flavoring to the oatmeal.
"Well I'm trying to hookem up. You know Princess Twilight and Sergeant Buttercup. I got a few bits riding on it".
"A few bits, what's a few?"
"Double then what my wife lost, About twenty thousand. . ."
"A wife, where did you find the time for a Misses Dragon around here?" the cigar then flavored the greens and grits.
"Oh you didn't hear? That Mrs. Thee Dragon is the one and only Element of Generosity, Rarity - she's the famous fashion designer".
"Is she good?" Top Knot gave the drake a friendly nudge in the arm.
"Good enough to be the mother of my foals"
"No, I didn't think that was possible, You lucky dragon you, congratulations!"
"Thanks Top now we got to find Stumpy and do the same with him".
.....................................................O,O...................................................
Sweetie found Rarity unconscious on the floor behind her sewing machine wisps of smoke puffing lightly as she
"Does she normally smoke like that?"
"Of course not" A green stink eye answered along with "go get help, I'll do what I can". A serious Sweetie is a dangerous Sweetie.
The thestral launched out the door taking flight on leathery wings in search of help as Sweetie did what Sweetie did best. Worry.
......................................................-,-.........................................................
Chaos erupted in the Mess Hall as the traitor was ferreted out in a mock drill as the recruits pulled the odd
"Sergeant you'd better lay it out straight or so help me that Princess of yours will get herself a gelding for Hearths Warming Eve".
"The lectures, the three by five cards, the dry jargon, the crazy look in her eyes, no Royal Guard training can prepare you for that!"
Top Knot snuffed out his cigar and with one sweep of his hooves picked up a cleaver and slammed it down in front of Stumpy
"I can add to that silly nick name of yours but it wont be associated with your horn or you can be a gentlecolt and take Spike and
..........................................................>.>.......................................................
Rarity laid in her bed unable to move the once red silk sheets and comforter replaced with white hospital sheeting,
Scootaloo and Apple Bloom sat with Sweetie Belle listening to the others tending to her big sister. They sadly pondered on
...........................................................<.<..........................................................
Spike escorted the timid unicorn through the castle library keeping a sharp eye out for Twilight if he was to get his bits back
"Spike are you sure your plan will work?"
"Only if you do as I said and not chicken out".
There she was dead ahead right where Spike thought she would , the private reading room, quiet, cozy, with adjustable blinds and
........................................................o,O........................................................
Rarity roared aloud with green flames the Doctors scrambled as the fire filled the room Apple Jack and Rainbow Dash
............................................................T,T.........................................................
The last thing Spike saw was Twilight using her magic to push him out of the reading room and secure it from prying eyes,
........................................................o.o.............................................................
Spike held on for dear life as the wind blew across Twilights wings continuing their dive down to Ponyvilles air space.
Twilights landing did nothing to help the situation crashing headlong into the Boutiques side garbage cans and laundry hampers.
Twilight and Spike staggered into the dimly lit room. Apple Jack rocked in the corner as Rarity laid still on the bed. Spike swallowed a
...........................................................c.c............................................................
After the cleansing Spike held Rarity close letting his warmth comfort her in their bed, She caressed his spines as he buried his snout
"May I introduce our new member of thee Dragon family" Apple Jack raised to meet Rarity and Spike "we have yet to give her a name".
A thud was heard on the bed room window all eyes turned as a muffled sound filled eveyponies ears "I swear Somepony hates me".
"So they called you Sergeant Stumpy?" Rainbow snorted "Hay Twilight is that true you picked the economy sized guy?"
"That's Captain Buttercup and that's only in the horn Department you, you whoever you are".
"Ah Butters that's the one and only Rainbow Dash, She's a Wonderbolt". Frosty gasped as Sweetie Belle gave him a sly little wink.
"Who?" . . .was Butters really that stupid?
"Miss Sonic Rainboom" the three young mares verbally pelted his ears.
"Oh . . .Somepony hates me". Butters withered under the burning eyes of the Crusaders.
Apple Jack laid a bundle into Spikes lap. When he unwrapped the cloth he saw a filly as white as snow with a blue and purple main.
Spikes guilt washed away as his lady quietly spoke "'The Dragon Lady of Ponyville' is no more meet the new and improved
Rarity nuzzled with her drake and whispered in his ear "Precious Scales how did your little princess project work out?"
"I swore a Pinkie promise not to tell But I did win back all those bits you lost to Luna". FOREVER!
"Do you think it will work between those two?"
"That's future Twilights problem".
"AW COME ON!" Sweetie Bell yelled as she saw the end of the chapter coming and Raritys three foals had yet to be named!
The Monthly Chronicles of Twilight
The Monthly Chronicles of Twilight
Month 1
Well it's finally happened my once baby dragon has grown up, Having no resources to lean on I will record the processes
Subject #1 Spike the dragon is a male dracos of average health, the age of 18 pony years weight of 34 stones, employed as a royal messenger and princess assistant often moon lighting as a seamstress helper ~~Helping him self more likely~~ medical tests reveal
A battery of tests are set for a baseline for subject #1 and #2 all samples of blood, fluids, tissues and residue magic to be examined ASAP.
Subject #2 Rarity Filigree is a female unicorn of average health , the age of 23 pony years weight 34 stones ~~she says 29 stones~~
Between the female subjects added libido from hormones and the possessive tendencies of the male subject it might
As this is a general record of scientific development I will also note the emotional state of both subjects and add references to
Month 2
Subject #1 started having panic attacks remembering the first day of telling the Princess of Friendship the news of his accomplishment.
~~Oh really? now I'm feeling like Princess CAT PONY! what? I'm not sexy enough to land a COLTFRIEND?~~
Subject #2 shows no signs of foal development externally but she exhibits a need to suck on gemstones as she works,
Subject #1 and Subject #2 where married in secret in a civil ceremony even at the protests of subject #1 is seems the female
Month 3
Results of the baseline tests returned, subject #1 are the same as his infant findings from years ago other than age all results look
~~Spike~~ Subject #1 acted harshly at reporters during a family outing, although justified his actions caused this observer to
Subjects during transport to Canterlot castle where heard to carry on like a teenage honeymoon couple. Due to new improved security measures they where hidden from view using a new magic device 'Gem of shadows'.
Witness #1 by the name of Apple Jack reported the subjects from what she heard "They sounded like a bunch of wild horses stompin
Whitness #2 by the name of Fluttershy could only squeak a yes or a no to questions presented until she fainted after question four.
Whitnesses #3 and 4 Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash where busy during subjects activity and would not report due to possibility of
Subject #2 was observed to be exhausted from nocturnal activity only reacting to direct stimuli with grunts and moans while
We had an attempted foalnapping! Spike grew to full size after Rarity was taken but for unknown reasons returned to his normal size.
Both Subjects moved to Medical Magic Isolation ward until a cause of both the uncontrolled growth and transfiguration is found.
Month 4
Subject #1 has grown to full size once again but without the greed stimulation he is in the basement isolation area it's the only
Subject #2 is agitated being isolated from her mate, to keep her occupied the staff has given her scratch pads and markers for
Magical urine or just washing off the 'Gem of Shadow' debris holds a clue to the transfiguration reversal Spike is normal size
Month 5
Subject #2 stable condition all the bathes and testing show no change in her condition gestation seems normal if this was a normal
Month 6
Romance novels fashion magazines and tissues loads and loads of tissues Raritys emotional state was all over the spectrum this month
All tests show no change in blood works or other differences. ~~Spikes her love slave! why can't I find somepony to smother me too?~~
Month 7
Princess Celestia and Luna visited today, it's no secret that a cross breed of this type would have a positive political impact between
What a surprise Rarity gave birth to her twin foals during the taking of the Royal family pictures.
My hypothesis is a dragon has only what is supplied in the egg to develop from, As where a part dragon pony mix has more access to
More tests are needed to explore this new species of pony and dragon I'm sure the subjects will contribute to the wealth of knowledge
~~I think Sweetie Belle will take after her sisters taste in the exotic, She's been eyeing one of the new Lunar Knight Guards~~
As for security measures I was assigned a personal guard an earth pony by the name of Buttercup, Sergeant Buttercup with a
Month 8
Long term study handed over to the Lunar Patrol Study Teams seems Luna has been engaged in data gathering directly with the
p.s. Spike here final note: You don't want to see a drunk Twilight Sparkle!
And Now a Word from Our Sponsors
And Now a Word from Our Sponsors
And Now a Word from Our Sponsors
The crowd roared as applause echoed off the walls flooding the podium. The judgment was in. Rarity had tears in her eyes, noise in her ears, bright lights shadowing all those ponies gathered here to see the Dragon Lady of Ponyville in all her glory and
Models paraded along the runway the fashionable wardrobes of the designers all on display all fabulous all competing all going for broke.
From now to then, then
Spike looked from his corner of the world holding and cuddling those three odd offspring watching the mob in the darkened auditorium the Pongon twins eyes darting from mommy to daddy then to their sister asleep in Spikes arms how she slept in all that noise was a mystery only Celestia or Twilight would know. Actually Twilight has it cataloged already along with studies on , Oh more of that later.
Pinkie stood as Master of Ceremony her hair bouncing as she giggled her smile as wide as the retired Dragon Lord Torches toothy grin.
Twilight sat in the Royal suite watching Rarity on stage, the fashion mares tears rolling down her cheeks making a mess of her mascara and ball gown. The Princess clopping her hooves, smiling while squirming in her seat and diving into the excitement of her best friends celebration. Her Royal guard stood behind standing tall smirking at Twilights actions she could be just another star struck filly if not for the Alicorn features. Buttercup leaned down and whispered into her ear cracking an even bigger smile on both their muzzles.
Sweetie Belle and her date came fashionably late to the Awards Show It wasn't everyday she sang but today setting a rehearsal with
Rainbow and Fluttershy with their guests watched with boring anticipation, well for RD it was like watching paint dry and Misses Shy
Pinkie raised the microphone and screamed "Hello, fillies and colts, fashion ponies of all ages ages ages ages ages ages ages ages
All the attendees cringed stuffing their hooves into their ears trying to save what was left of their brains for the next zombie attack.
"Yo dad unique's awake" the twins echoed together. (Nothing beats advanced tutoring by Auntie Book Horse Sparkle)
"On it!" Spike answered pulling a bottle from who knows where and heating it to perfect sucking temperature with a little puff of flame.
"Ponies ponies ponies! Welcome to the Eighth Annual Manehatten Fashion Awards sponsored by your local
"Hello Ladies having a hard time finding that perfect gift for that special stallion? Here at the 'Stopped Clock' we have the largest
Rarity watched her competition some very well known and others not so much, Coco Pommel , Sassy Saddles though they
Spike noticed Suri as well as all attending "Like a bad bit, that's all we need"... He continued to hold the bottle watching it drain.
"And now a break for our sponsor?" Pinkie bellowed looking confused 'Isn't this supposed to be a fashion show?'
"You deserve a break today get off your flank and get away to Burger Princess! Where everypony is treated like Equestrian Royalty,
"Does your mane look dull and that tail of yours look like an old toilet brush? My little ponies it's time to renew that fur rejuvenate that
"Read more books! Visit your local library and bakery,A mind is a terrible thing to waste except muffins! A public service announcement".
Pinkie awoke with a startled snort "Hey everypony wasn't that really informational?" her voice waned "and funnnnnn?"
Pinkie ushered in the group lining them up for her interview the lights glared down like a detectives room ready for grilling the ~~criminal~~.. interviewee, sweat glistened eyes squinted nerves raised to a raw state of 'WHAT THE HEY AM I DOING HERE?'
"Coco Pommel what do you have to say to our judges and audience before the next advertisement?"
"I'd like to thank everypony specially my friend Rarity if it wasn't for her support and help I'd still be an unknown in the shadows,
"Thank you Coco, Royal Pin what would you like to say?"
"It's really cool to be here tonight Hope I get to win, I worked very hard and cant wait for the after party. Hey Pinkie are you free later?"
A collective slap was heard across auditorium as everypony on stage and in the audience pulled a massive face hoof.
"Yeah... Oh boy. . .Hoity Toity same question". ' What a pinhead! Wait till my Doomie hears this...He might already have if he's here?'
"I can only thank myself the pinnacle of pure perfection in fashion, I Hoity Toity will be truly humbled when I am awarded the prize
"THANK YOU HOITY TOITY!" Pinkie shoved the prissy colt back into line "Jeff Letrotski your thoughts on the fashion industry ".
"Well man it's like I do all my own stuff like why would I want to ware this fru fru stuff..."
"Welcome to Barnyard Bargains where your bit goes further and convenience is a hoof step away, with over 57 locations all over Equestria
"... So that's what it is man, Like life in a coffee can ya got to know which way that wind is blowin" he shrugged and stepped back into line.
"Rarity any words you'd like to share with everypony here?" Rarity took a breath and stepped forward.
Pinkie gave her friend that big smile that very big smile that creepy - I know what you did last summer - smile of hers.
"I would like to thank all of you who share the happiness that fashions brings, thank you all my dear friends and family for without you
She took a breath once more "To fabulousness".
"Double your pleasure double your fun double the freshness of Crystal Dragon Gum! get your double pack today at Barnyard Bargain store".
For reasons unknown Rarity gasped and slinked back to the line up with the most delightful blush creeping out from behind her make up.
Pinkie put a hoof to her snout for reasons known to her 'Give it a break for goodness sakes I'd rather do the running of the leaves naked!'
"And our final contestant Suri Polomare" Pinkies next question shot from the hip "what are the ethical bounds that a competitor must set as a personal standard to be considered to be fair and square and being able to conduct herself without excessive oversight of the sanctioning
Crickets echoed throughout the auditorium as the pink mare rolled her eyes "So much for a flash back run the commercials".
"We at Sweet Apple Acres take pride in our apples, apple sauce, apple pies, apple dumplings, baked apples, apple chips, fried apples
"Snore ! apples Snore ! apples Snore ! apples Snore ! apples Snore".
" Spikey dear! Please... ".
"Snorkle ! grunt snort "Sorry wafu dear".
The auditorium crowd snickered as the dragon rose from his slumber the pongons giggling at the situation too.
"Thank you Suri Polomare".
"But I didn't have a chance to say anything".
"Didn't you?"
"Yes".
"Really?"
"You trying to cheat me?"
"You would know".
"WHAT?"
"Oh nothing".
"In the big city I had to fight my way to the top and my work will show that I'm the top designer not only in Manehatten but all over Equestria!" Suri gulped another lung full of air " No pony will . . ."
"Nama?"
"Nopony will take that away from, Nama?"
"Nama?" bleated the little filly unicorn as it wobbled on it's tiny hooves up onto the stage like a fuzzy torpedo
Suri looked at the sight "Cute foal so you dumped the dragon, I knew it wouldn't work" Suri smirked "Who's the lucky stud?"
The gasp of the audience all at once sucked Pinkies contacts right out of her eyes. It was the gasp heard across Equestria!
Two irate pongons leaped to their mothers defense "You leave our Mom and little sister alone!" claws at the ready till Spike gathered
"I'm in big trouble aren't I?" Spike whispered into Raritys ear as he hoisted the baby foal into his arms.
"Only for sleeping on duty my dear" she whispered back giving him a little snuggle.
"What about her?" He was answered with a sly smile and a flutter of lashes. He could only think...Nightmare moon's coming to breakfast.
Then she motioned to Suri and spoke in a loud stage voice "Suri please be a dear and let me introduce you to my family".
The line up was introduced by the Dragon Lady of Ponyville her voice filled with pride and love.
"This is our twins Red Ruby and Crimson Ruby both are fine dragon colts and their sister Unique Sapphire, you can thank Sweetie Belle for the inspiration for their names".
Rarity bowed to her sister who in response yelled back "Aw come on it's all red!"
"This is my beloved drake a simple soul who is as generous as my Element the father of all three of my fabulous foals".
Suri awkwardly stepped near the family smiling a fake smile...I cant let her win! Stupid little lizard freaks!
"And now for the final parade of fashions all the designs of this season where voted on by a secret panel of judges all scores tabulated
"Warts got you down? Twilights magical 'Wart Be Gone' one application and warts vanish, just Like magic, at your local Barnyard Bargains".
"Music enriches all the foals at Octavia Melodys School of Classical Music come learn the song of your heart, young or old you too
Pinkie cleared the stage and raised her hooves "I cant take it anymore!" she screamed out over the noise her voice cracking."No more commercials here is the winner!"
Rarity thought...I need to pee.
Spike thought...Looks like I'm sleeping on the couch tonight.
Twilight thought...Pinkie we have a problem.
The contestants thought...Me Me Me Me Me Me Me Me what an I doing here?
Rainbow thought...They'd better save me some stupid broccoli, I'm really hungry!
Red Ruby and Crimson Ruby thought...Wow that broccoli buffet was great, I couldn't believe how much we ate!
Unique Sapphire thought...Nama nom nom nom nom nom.
The pressure was unnerving unrelenting unraveling, Pinkie was worn out the envelope opened the name spilled from the letterhead.
The winner is Suri Polomare!
The whole of the auditorium was quiet as a grave yard and just as deadly all eyes locked on Pinkie and the 'winner' standing
Rarity trotted to the pink piece of meat standing on the stage and gave her a gentle hug before escorting her off to the safety of her
"Spikey I think we should let Pinkie stay with us till this whole little show blows over, don't you think so dear?"
Spike nodded quietly thinking...Ice cream for all tonight
As the group passed Suris collection little Unique bleated out a violet magical flame her hoof pointing to the designers winning pieces
Raritys family and friends quietly exited the growing storm not saying a thing their heads held high after all they already had their prizes.
Back at the crystal castle AFTER PARTY the Elements families and friends gathered, they had a catered buffet better then the show did.
Rarity cooed "Spikey dear it was no fault of yours" he thought...Goody no couch tonight!
"And she had the nerve to ask if I could deliver her years worth of canned apples to her place after the rules said it was her responsibility
"I cant believe somepony ate all the broccoli at the buffet".
"Not only the broccoli but all the goodies everything including the crystals!"
While back at the auditorium before the riot burned the place down, they all thought...
How did this cheat win? Life's not fair!
And now a word from our sponsors...
Bean Bags
The Awards Show was ... Well it was different things to different ponies and to one dragon it was a bust. A total put me into
The room was comfortably dark, the little ones nestled in their nests each one personalized for every little dinker. A bean filled bag
Spike contemplated on the evenings past events. The whole family put up on the stage because he wasn't fast enough to prevent
The now Spike wondered what future Spikes future was going to be when the stay puff marsh mellow mare came to destroy
"Spike my gentledrake what are you going to do to make things right for your fair lady?" His question puffed out under his breath.
"For one if your little ones are asleep you can get your tail out to the party?" Pinkie said in a whisper.
"For two quit being so hard on yerself ya did good fella" Apple Jack sang "Yer foals will be fine".
"For three is a hoof full and you can't be everywhere at once besides Sapphire can teleport" Twilight smirked.
A warn breath flowed across Spikes scales his spines stiffened as a scent of strawberries filled is nose white hooves slowly wrapped
The now Spike was relieved, the now Spike was going to live, the now Spike had a question, "Does that mean I'm out of the dog house?"
"Wow Rarity!" Pinkie whispered loudly "what are these things?"
"What things?"
"The giant jelly donut things, the rooms full of them!"
"Those are our latest creation 'Cloud Cushions' Miss Pie the best in sleeping or lounging, if it catches on that is" Rarity sighed.
"Can we try one?" before Rarity could speak Pinkie pulled a strange colt to her side and snuggled on a free bean bag their tails and legs tangled up "Wooo comfy cozy!" Rarity was besides herself how could her friend bring a strange young stallion here and snuggle him
Raritys eyes twitched her mane stood on end as she looked on at the two ponies who where not formally engaged engaging in a late
Spike sniffed the air "Ah Rares?" he whispered raising a claw "They're cool that's Pinkies special guy".
"But I've seen her with a phonebook worth of different colts how could this one be special?" steam wafted out of her ears.
"Rarity promise me you'll not over react to what I'm going to tell you?"
"Spikey dear why would I not react to my dear Pinkies choice of coltfriends or Celestia forbid her making foals in front of our foals?"
Twilight giggled at the exchange as well as the apple farmer.
"What's so humorous you two?"
"You don't know?"
"What?"
"Pinkie only has one coltfriend" both voices laughed at Raritys puzzled face her ears flopping down through her mane.
"Dude you better let her know" Spike whispered "Pinkie quit suckin his face and show her will ya?"
Rarity watched a green glowing flame engulf the colt his features melted into coltfriends of Pinkies past like a slideshow of fifty shades
"Rares?" Spike cringed.
"How long?"
"Spike found out first then Twilight and Apple Jack, I was afraid they'd take him away" Pinkie cringed.
"How long?"
Spike twiddled his claws counting "Longer than we were married like the changling invasion" Spike shrugged "a long time".
"That long and you're not wed?" Rarity took the two in her magic and bundled them up in the bean bag and trotted out from the
And into the guest room they went sliding across the crystal floor bean bag and all.
"Wheeeeeeeeee"
Author's Note
Doomie belongs to Dr. Atlas author of , Do you?
Wings
Finally the time when foals reach that magic age where they ask all kinds of silly questions!
"Mom why did you marry Pops? Was it because Ponyville ran out of stallions?"
"Mom do I have to eat this?"
"Mom why don't other ponies breath fire?"
"Mom? If twilight hatched Dad does that make her Grand Ma?"
"If Unique is a dragon why does she have fuzzy scales?"
"dess?"
"Why is the sky blue?"
"Do we have to go to school today?"
"If Spike was hatched by Grand Ma Twilight and she has wings and Dads a dragon...?"
"Mom if Dads a dragon why doesn't he have wings?"
"Yeah, where's his wings?"
"I want wings!"
"If Red gets wings I want some too, I want wings too!"
Rarity sat rewinding the mornings bombardment during breakfast, Spike left early to help Twilight with duties of the crown
She rolled her eyes and sadly shook her head at the bad pun.
The morning was beautiful hours before lunch and minutes after a messy breakfast that had the dirty dishes piled high hiding in
"Mom are we there yet?"
"Not yet Ruby a little while longer".
"Why does she get to ride on your back?"
"Sapphires just a baby foal and you two are fine strong pongons my dears".
"Stupid Pinkie she should of called us dragons. ROAR! !"
"Yeah dragons!" Roa 'Hack cough cough '
"DESS!"
Rarity giggled at her fearsome little dragons their spines drooping at her display of fright, Fright? The little cuties couldn't even scare Fluttershy. Pride be damned they where the ferocious apex predators, kings of the bad lands the devourers of breakfast, pancakes and waffles Equestria over! Almost, just a little give them a little time.
"Language Crimson".
"But Mom she called us Pongons!"
"Yes Crimson my dear you are part dragon and part unicorn".
"Then she could of called us Unigons!"
"Or Dragacorns!"
"Unipegagons!"
"Dragasus!"
"Pegagons!"
"Dragunigons!"
"Are we there yet?"
"Soon Crimson very soon my dear".
"Mom why didn't you win your contest?"
"Well life has its surprises and it's not all winning , But you'll never know if you don't try".
"Are we famous Mom?"
"I suppose we are, A Dragon hero and a ravishing mare of fashion with three beautiful foals".
"Mom what's radish-ing?"
"Radish-ing? Ruby that's ravishing meaning really beautiful dear".
"Oh like fru fru pretty?"
"Quite".
"Are we there yet?"
"Not yet dear".
"dess".
"Mom when is Unique going to say Daddy?"
"When she's ready".
"Are we there yet?"
"Not quite".
"Are we there yet".
"Soon dear".
"Are we there yet?"
"No".
"Are you sure?"
"Yes".
"Stop it! - Mom Reds touching me!"
"No I'm not!"
"yes you are".
"No way".
Oh yeah".
"Boys!"
"Are we there yet?"
"Red!"
"Are we there yet?"
"Crimson no".
"Are we close?"
"Yes very"
"Will Daddy ever get wings?"
"Oh look, Crimson Ruby you can ask Miss Cherilee".
"Miss Cherilee Miss Cherilee? Will my Daddy ever get wings? You'll know teachers know everything!"
'Thanks Rarity At least the Crusaders only tried to burn down the school house only that one time!'
"Good morning Mrs. Thee Dragon". I'm getting too old for this stuff!' "How are you this lovely morning?"
"Oh my Spikey Wikey's out today and I have so much to do! But I do have Unique Sapphire to help me along, say hello to Miss. Cherilee".
"Dess!" 'Go ahead and rub it in why don't you',
"Hello little Sapphire". Cherilee rang the bell for the first class 'Why Big Mac why ? curse you Flutterskank! curse you!'
"Well I'll let you attend to your darling little charges Ta Ta Miss Cherilee I'll leave my family in your trusting care once more".
'Enough of the Misses already I'm younger then you!'
"Miss Cherilee will my Daddy ever get his dragon wings?"
'OH Celestia Why me?' Happy hour's only eleven hours away Luna help me!'
Special Delivery
"Spike!" Twilight called her temporarily dysfunctional assistant as she swilled on a cup of Joe "I need you awake".
"and I got up extra early for this?" Spike moaned a moan of the living almost dead - dead, somewhere near the dead end of a living index
This morning was such a mad dash out of the boutique after preparing a breakfast for Rarity, the pongon twins and dracony.
"Spike the tests are completed and the results should be ready in a few hours" Twilight beamed " So lets get a quick bite to eat and get the
...............................o.O............................
Rarity trotted along enjoying the crisp morning air with Unique gripping her back with Velcro like action.
"Smile for the camera" she told her little bundle happily riding along on her back "Let them feast on our fabulousness ".
Unique played with Raritys main like a cat with a ball of yarn her little tongue hung out in concentration, was it the hair products
"aaaAAAAAAAAA Sporkle! In a flaming ball of magic Raritys hair exploded into a blue fuzz ball of frizzy as a blue haze hovered above
The little cloud sped off like the wind "Sapphire you come back here this instant" Rarity huffed as she took chase of her baby zephyr .
...................,,,....>.>...,,,.....................
Ah gems the breakfast of dragon champions! Along with a Bacon lettuce and tomato sandwich where the toast is crunchy
What dragon in the rocky hot and dirt dry bad lands in any frame of mind would pass this stuff up was beyond reason.
"So Spike" Twilight teased "I heard a little rumor that Rarity wants another foal".
"Gosh Twilight I haven't got the hang of the three we have now, I know she can juggle everything but I'm worried that I might
"Spike I'm sure our friends and families will be there and It's not like your foals are like what the Crusaders ..."
"The Crusaders only burned a little bit of Cheerilees school house, My little pongons are an arson brigade, the park, the school,
Twilight heard it before and she knew she'd hear it again, Spike the Great Honorable Brave and Glorious talking like his old littleWhat if I screw things up' self. She was proud of what he did in the long years she'd known her dragon brother from another mother.
"I'm sure Rarity has loads of reasons for wanting another foal I'm sure she thinks you could handle a few more".
"Right now I think I'll have another sandwich" 'If I got to hear this stuff over and over again I might as well have a full belly'
Spike proceeded to stuff his face pretending to listen to Twilights lecture of big hearts make big families and that Raritys
"Oh the SCIENCE!" and then the obvious hit her like a ton of bricks. Spike wasn't hearing one word, None at all. Almost.
"If you're not eating that can I have it?" Spike continued eating "So the mid twenties?" as he chowed down with reckless abandon.
Twilights ears flopped down she had done it again treated Spike like a filly school biology project. Well she still had her Twilight Time.
"I'm sorry Spike I just sort of got carried away just a wee bit". She looked down at her empty plate " HAY! Where's my food?"
"Well if I'm going to father two dozen foals I'm going to need all the energy I can get!" Spike chuckled holding back a snort.
"I think I liked it better when you only had a crush you certainly ate less".
Spike paused, a rumbling coming from below the sign of another Celestia dragon postal delivery. Twilight watched as Spike let out a burp
Twilight peeked under where Spike was holding a bundle of giggles his face flush from giving birth to the special delivery package.
Spike squeaked "Would you believe it was a lot more fun when she was smaller and you say Rarity wants a bunch more?"
"PRINCESS TWILIGHT SPARKLE , MAY I HAVE A FEW WORDS WITH YOU about doing your magic in front of inquisitive little foals!"
"But".
"Don't book worm your way out of this Miss Princess of Friendship Twilight Sparkle! My little Sapphire teleported again and you know where she gets that from don't you?"
"Ah Rarity?" Twilight stifled a giggle.
"Don't patronize me my dear Twilight I know you've been spoiling my little babies behind my flank!"
"Rarity?" Spike raised a single claw holding back a snicker "Can we..."
"And you Spike thee Great Honorable Brave and Glorious I know you've been sneaking gems to the little ones between meals!"
"Rarity?" Spikes resolve crumbled "Pfffttttt Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!" Unique Sapphire squealed with delight.
Twilights giggles flowed into the mix of roaring laughter filling Raritys ears fanning the flames of justifiable rage. She could just, just
ROAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRR!!!
Spike Twilight and Unique Sapphire quietly stared wide eyed at the dragon lady. Their small grins growing till the laughter returned
Spike raised an arm and took her muzzle as he got up, hugging her tightly he gave a little peck on her cheek turning her head to gaze into the eaterys window. She looked into the café seeing all the ponies laughing tears streaming from their eyes. What in Equestria's so so?
....................../)o( .),( ,)o(.................
It was a good two days of peace and quiet after a week of buying all the Equestrian Inquirer Magazines whos front
Sadly this emergency didn't quite qualify for the usual funding for Ponyvilles disaster relief fund and
"Spikey dear Does this mane style make me look fat?" and we know the quiet never lasts, Not with these characters.
Oh those test results? Nothing much just Twilight being Twilight.
Bar Flies
Canterlots night life was at full throttle. A theatre show a stroll along the galleries and fine dining on the menu.
________________________________________________________________________
Off the boulevard he strolled into the Saddle and Bit Restaurant - Bar. Another overly priced seven shoe high end eatery
The white mare of his dreams sat alone silky fur ending in stunning purple and blue mane and tail tastefully tied in a set of matching buns.
Her pale blue skirt and sash sparkled. The fabric stretchy not clingy shimmery but not over powering on a goddess of a unicorn with a
golden wedding band proudly on display on her spiraled horn.
"Well well well that will be a challenge" S-C glided into the bar taking a stool at the far end studying his next conquest
"Obviously a well to do Canterlot mare, nice shapely flanks with an overbearing but neglectful husband, she needs me".
She sat with grace making small talk with the bar tender, he nodded politely as she prattled on and on about what ever.
"Sir can I help you?" the waitress asked quietly "Sir?"
"Jack on coke hold the rocks" S-C continued to size up his prey he was not going home alone tonight.
"Will that be Captain or the Apple?"
"Captain please, make that two" his eyes wandered over to the mare once more his imagination roaming free until
that stupid mirror behind the stack of liquor bottles betrayed him. Their eyes met, oh those beautiful baby blues!
"Oh shoot shoot shoot horseapples!" caught in the moment he raised his glass to salute her only to see her let out a soft
The waitress retuned with his drinks one for him the other for her...
"You have company watch your six Miss" the bar tender quietly warned his lovely patron raising a brow and rolling his eyes.
" Thank you kindly Brewster and It's Misses now" She lightly bowed showing the golden band and turned to face the incoming visitor
who promptly made himself comfortable on the neighboring stool placing the extra drink in front of his intended pick up.
"Hello there I'm S-C nice to meet you can call me C".
"Charmed" ignoring the drink in front of her she continued her tales Brewster listening with a small smile.
"You know I've always dreamed I'd find a mare like you. Miss... ah I didn't get your name".
"I didn't give it". tilting her head to see his wagging eye brows and Bridleway smile.
"You're not from around here are you may I show you around?"
"I have a business locally in Canterlot but I live in Ponyville..."
"Small world I own a Business too you know how it is work hard and play even harder".
She takes the drink with her magic swirling the glass sniffing the contents she looks into Cs eyes her monolog beginning
" Oh woe is me a lonely business mare in Canterlot trying to escape the pressures of work and an overbearing husband"
She brings her hoof to her brow head tilting back striking that dramatic pose, turning away from the stallion and winking secretly
to the bar keep who patently watches her bar stool performance. She turns back to C.
"I am a poor over worked mare desperate to find a knight to save her from a beast who captured this poor maiden forced in a life of
bearing his foals for nothing other than his own lust driven greed, I have my needs too!"
"I don't believe it she's taken the bait", C took a hitched breath as magic caressed his coat sleeves and pant legs, a first for him.
"I''ll be your knight for tonight dear maiden in blue!" He stuttered C felt the magic increase the tingling made his fur stand on end
along with other pieces of his anatomy "I'm so going to plow her!"
"Oh C what ever your full name is, can you save this damsel from the intentions of her dragon husband?"
"Yes! It's Shiny Chrome to the rescue! Just finish your drink and come with me!"
He gripped the bar in eager anticipation ready for that romp in the hay.
"This drink?"
"Yes! Finish it and we can move on to something more fun".
"More fun?" she leaned back and turned to the bar keep "I enjoyed myself watching your eyes beg for a piece of tail".
"You tease!" he growled "and I gave you that drink to boot".
"So from a gift to a business arrangement?" She continued "Shiny Chrome I do believe you're tarnishing your own reputation".
"You owe me" he reached out to grab her hoof or he wanted to.
"My my Mr. Chrome you seem to be fashionably sewn in place why did you spike that drink you gave me a moment ago?"
"I didn't do anything you stupid horse!" He struggled with his sleeves and noticed his butts attachment with the bar stool.
"You have no proof release me now!" Shiny Chrome growled "You can't do this to me!"
A twine wrapped around his muzzle and ended in a pretty bow knot silencing the tantrum.
"And what in the wide world of Equestria where you going to do to me?" She glared "After I had my foals I changed a little"
She turned to the bar keep "I can see and smell things that are normally too subtle for others, must be a dragon thing".
SCs thoughts went wild "No no no no this can't be I got a full season of hoofball tickets I got to finish cleaning out moms basement... "
"Brewster please summon the Royal Guard you will find ruhypnotism in my drink provided by our dear guest Shiny Chrome".
Immobilized by his bindings his eyes glazed over as she continued.
"A gift generously given doesn't expect anything in return but your little gift is made to take from a pony without giving
anything at all in return" she snorted "If anything it's quite criminal, a scandalous character such as yourself needs the
proper attention".
"They're ready now... Celestia and Twilight just arrived" Spike called from the far end of the restaurant "I hope it wasn't too
much of a wait".
She left her stool "It was no bother at all Spikey" she nodded to the bar keep "Brewster was a gentlestallion as always".
Spike and Rarity left the bar strolling to the dining area for the rest of the evening the dragon rubbing his chin thinking.
"What is it Spikey?" She glanced to the booth where the royals sat waiting for the two.
"That quiet guy at the bar?"
"Yes?"
"He sorta reminded me of a guy I knew in our old neighborhood".
"Really?"
"Yeah he was a hooffull always hassling me and Twi all the time. Last I heard he was polishing carriages".
"Quite the opportunist I'm sure" she quipped "surely he can find something better to do".
They both approached the table the meal smelled absolutely divine " Princess Celestia Twilight..." her voice full of cheer.
____________________________________________________________________________
"Welcome to Canterlot substation twenty six 'You have the right......."
The H W Story
Spike laid flat on the floor the foals gathered around. Not a word was spoken not one made a sound.
The pop corn was popped with the utmost of care but stinky burnt morsels their smell filled the air.
The buckets passed out by magic and hooves. Holding the munchies they had nothing to lose.
Spike cleared his throat with a snort and a giggle. She topped off his drink a lot not a little.
With flurry and style his story did start by coming up short with some little foals fart.
.........................../)o,O(........................
Was the night of Hearth Warming and all through the town all eyes were staring at a mare and her clown.
He was dapper and dashing good looking all around and her dress was quite smashing a Rarity gown.
The couple was trotting, I set down my bottle. She was the mare trotting the drake had a waddle.
To the castle they traveled with speed to the door seeing it locked they looked once more,
the door mat, the rock, their pockets and floor. They had an idea to knock on the door.
Hoof steps could be heard from inside the keep. The chirping of birds and bleating of sheep.
The gate cracked open just enough for a peek, showing an eye greeting them both with a peep.
"I'm sorry for bothering if you two don't mind? If that's okay. I'm busy just a little. Oh I hope you're not too worried".
They looked a bit puzzled the shy one did speak, They strolled down the hallway. A bit late so they hurried.
...................../)^.^(.....................
A squealing erupted in uncle Spikeys rendition a tinkle was needing a quick intermission.
He hefted his charge a draconian foal the tike pointing for daddy on the right way to go.
The noise and the clatter started to grow with bid guy now gone the foals took over the show.
A pink blur shot through the group the silence was dandy all of their mouths now stuffed with candy.
To them that returned the story went on. Some words were spoken some parts had a song.
....................../)>.>(.......................
The drake and the mare hurried to supper. They greeted the guests and bowed to each other.
The table was festive the bounty galore a room full good tidings good will and much more,
At the head was the Princess to her side was her stud to the left of her was a pony of mud.
Across from those two was a prismatic flyer out of her mind filled up with cider.
Eat like a pig the menu did fall out came a cannon. She blew out a wall the pink one did stand and said with a scream
"BLUE BLOOD WAS BORING AND TYREK WAS MEAN!"
She sat with a smile the shy one had said "Hey hey hey You can come by and visit, But stay out of my shed".
So this little greeting once a year is now said "I'm back from Hearth Warming I need a long rest!"
......................../)>.<(....................
Rarity stood looking over her minions "It's time for the feast lets go to the kitchen".
The end of the story. A feast and a lecture it took and Spikey the drake got his gift ... A book.
What did I Miss Is It The New Year?
Where Am I?
It was a comfortable it was dark it was fuzzy scaly and warm, The contents of the cloakroom had a cozy homey feel to it.
Luna watched the dreamers with a blush and turned her watch to the dracony foals sleeping nearby beyond the closed door.
Dreams of the innocent youngsters filled her view, piles of colorful fabric, mounds of gems in ice cream castles and the sounds of...
Lunas experience with Spikes old overly ripe fantasies often clashed with his gentlecolt nature until he stumbled on Raritys taste
The mistress of the night had tried to find a cure for the couples nasty little itch that needed scratching from time to time but as it was
The purring continued echoing throughout the crystal castle. Her ponies really pulled off this celebration between the
"I don't get it".
The words startled the Princess of the night the source of the purring was also found. A drunk Dragon Lord swayed into view.
"I don't get it".
"Is thy Dragon Lord drunk?"
"Is the little horsey blue?"
"Neigh I am Royal blue".
"Then I am surely drunk and confused, I don't get it".
"What is it that you didn't receive?"
"No no no, It's just Spike I don't get".
"What didn't you receive from Sir Spike?'
"It's not that!"
"What?"
"Spike!"
"Spike?"
"Yes!"
"You ponies are strange" Ember continued "This whole friendship thing is weird".
"How so?"
"As far as dragons go he's a runt but he's stronger than a hatchling then there's that friends thingy, When I was growing up Pops
Luna smiled "His hatchlings as you say Dragon Lord Ember are they not cute?"
"How can Spike play with his food like that? He's a dragon for magmas sake!" Ember looked at the three snuggling whatevers.
Luna laid next to the little fuzzy scaly balls "Meet Unique Sapphire , Crimson and Red".
Ember eased down resting on her elbows eyeing the three scaly ponies or was it three fuzzy dragons or a set of draggy fuzzpons?
Two were surely dragon in shape and scales but with hoofy claws with tufts of fur where spines should be and ears, little pony ears
A healthy burp full of smoke shouted daddy's girl.
Embers instincts screamed 'I WANT' her tail swished like a cat contemplating a pounce
Before the Lunar Princess could react Ember pounced! Leaping to the cloakroom door she slipped inside quietly letting
"Big mistake" Luna cast a bubble around the pongons and waited for the show.
The door creaked open as Spike waddled sleepily along stopping to check on the snuggly group. He staggered a bit with a slight grump.
"That was awkward" he shifted moods seeing his brood "You want anything? Rares wants a little ice cream you know how she
Luna motioned him off with a smile, watching him go she eyed the door wondering if generosity and greed was up to some late night
If her own memories of the Royal Canterlot Cloakroom came to... A quiet rumble came from behind the door the cracks oozed a
The door slowly creaked open as a stunned Ember slithered out bowing and apologizing her arms wings and tail festooned in
"So up to the third floor twenty second door on the left after the statue of Angel Bunny, Right !" The dragon eased away on tippy toes
"So much for the Element of Generosity geeeeeeesh! Friiiieeennnnddddssssshhiip, I still don't get it" She whispered "It wasn't like
Luna watched the horny dragon lord fade off in the dark as Spike returned with his Vanilla Oat Swirl and an enchanted news paper.
"Though you might like a break from you nighty duties" Spike said as he laid out the paper his eyes proudly checking on his offspring.
He waddled back to the hideaway spot as Luna watched Spike poked his head through the cloakroom door, breathing out a sigh
"You sent her where? I know you wanted revenge but that's cruel even for..." snickers and laughter filtered through the door.
Luna settled back down and spread out the paper a tea set and a dish of scones floated in a blue magical mist from who knows where
"How thoughtful" Luna said to nopony in particular and thought of that single word that filtered through the door revenge!
"Thy Dragon Lady Rarity what darkness does you heart hide from the night" Luna reached out to the mind of Spikes squeeze.
What she saw would color her world in a new light how a single act could poison ones mind to enact such a dreadful revenge.
"Is this the muse of a jester?" Lunas facehoof was short lived "Thy Lady does thy Kingdom a great service!"
She was careful not to clap her hooves too hard for the joyous occasion celebrated with hot spiced tea and buttery scones.
Her break further rewarded when the enchanted news paper glowed a head line for it's early morning readers...
A scream from a masculine voice echoed through the once silent crystal halls "Please I was just groomed"
The head line morphed into a just breaking status as Luna read on with a smile.
Prince Blue Blood selected Ambassador to the Dragon Empire
"Revenge is a dish best served cold" Luna thought as she sipped her tea It's about time someone broke in that spoiled brat.
Oh No! Foal Protective Services
Oh No! Foal Protective Services
The weather report using the most scientific methods of forecasting projecting sunny days for the whole of this week that
As you guessed it. Today was going to be less then the splendid day that the entire Dragon family wanted or needed.
___________________FPS _________________
Rarity laid in bed cuddling her dragon body pillow half asleep lazing from a late nights work schedule. Even Sweetie Belles
Twilight was crashed at the foot of the bed with her wings spread like a purple fuzzy brood chicken covering three little Spikesters
Sweetie Belle awoke wrapped in blankets like a changeling cocoon her struggle from the snuggle and muffled cries for help fell on
Rarity knew she could trust the Lunar body guards honor to behave like a gentlecolt around her little sister. As for the little
Frosty hung there with a big grin slowly clapping his hooves together in a golfers clop, She looked even cuter when she's peeved.
The suns rays illuminated the clouds above as below the overcast drizzled and rained on the little hamlet. No exciting thunder
Twilight and Spike had breakfast started as the rest of the household continued to freshen up. Rarity of course taking a bit more time.
Sweetie and Frosty set the table with the help of Red and Crimson if you consider that sword fighting with forks and spoons helping.
"Boys!" Twilight spoke softly as her magic disarmed the duo "Spike needs you to carry the waffles and pancakes to the table".
The clatter of silverware and the tinkling of glasses filled the air along with the smells of this mornings vittles.
Auntie Celesta trained Spike to serve as Twilights assistant, But as a gentledrake he served everypony, especially those close to
_____________________________________FPS _____________________________________
Her path was sure her steps swift her hooves muddy and they echoed through the town proper with the sound of doom.
"Why would anypony raise their foals in a dress shop?" a voice cold as a winters killing frost "or with a wild beast no doubt".
"Mom Red's hogging all the pancakes!"
"Auntie Twilight please pass the butter"
"These waffles are scrumptious wherever did you get such an idea?"
"BbbrrrrrrrrraaaaaaacccccccckkkkKK"
"Right on sissy".
"Unique Sapphire a lady never belches at the breakfast table".
"Sounded cool here"
"Spike!"
"Well the waffle idea came from the Power Ponies fourteenth edition and you got to admit that belch was pretty cool".
"Daddy watch this!" BbbbbbrrrrrrrrrraaaaaacccccccccckkkkkkkkkKKKK"
Yes it was a hold my beer moment as Crimson Rubys fire ball bounced off the ceiling rolled around the sink three times exiting out the
"Meeeouch!" It pays to plan ahead as Twilights enchantment kept the family cat from becoming kitty bacon.
"Crimson Ruby Dragon thee Great Honorable Brave Glorious stinker! you do that again... You know the rules!" blue eyes drilled
"Yes mom..." Crimson knew she meant business "No fire balls inside the house".
"That is surely the rule in this home young dragon remember it, if you must display those skills you have all of the outdoors later".
PhrrrraP!
"Red Ruby what was that?"
"But Maaaaaaa!" he moaned "It wasn't a fire ball".
"Spike you're such a dreadful influence on our foals and I wanted such gentlecolts, What am I going to do with the males of...honestly!"
Spikes chuckles filled the room "Really it's a guy thing".
Twilight whispered "You sure know Raritys taste in guys".
Rarity spoke up "Taste in what dear?"
"Should taste the Hay fries!" Twilight sputtered "Spike makes a mean bag of hay fries, don't you Spike?"
The mornings meal and shenanigans continued as well as the approaching steps outside in the rain.
-----------------------------------FPS -----------------------------------------
A knock on the boutique door beckoned Rarity but the display floor wasn't to open for another hour.
"I'll get it" Twilight could see Mrs. Fashion platter busy with her little pongons with a scheduled midmorning nap time.
"Thank you Twilight your such a dear" her tucking in being only halfway tucked.
Twilight answered the door and the quiet "The Boutique's not open till..." devolved into a heated debate the stranger now held in a
"I'm afraid her papers are in order" Frosty shook his head "But these charges are absolutely preposterous".
"I'm here to safeguard these foals from this abusive environment" The Agent said "I'm here to immediately investigate and
"I need your case packet and the complaint warrant" Twilight was peeved "You do know who I am... Miss?"
"Misses Thistle Rumpcoat" Her icy voice brought shivers down the withers and spine of all that heard it. "here's the packet but the warrant
"Spike get my Court seal and Notary docu. . " Before Twilight could finish he gave Rarity a quick peck on the cheek and raced through the door his apron flapping in the breeze "ments" unnoticed by the agent her head buried in her satchel.
"You will find my papers to be in order the sooner I start the sooner we shall be done here, I'm going nowhere, here is the list of
Twilight looked at the agent "So who do you want to start with?"
"The mare Rarity and her live in stallion first" Thistle trudged past the princess and sat at the first table in the room the foals crayons
"Shall we get started?" Rumpcoat motioned for her suspect to come forward "Rarity Sparkle?"
Twilight leaned in to join the two "Princess if you please this is a private investigation, Rarity Sparkle I'm waiting".
"Yes, you may call me Mrs. Dragon".
"That's quite an unusual name you have there".
"As an element of Harmony and with my services to the crown I have many names, But you can call me 'Mrs. Dragon".
"Very well Mrs. Dragon" Agent Thistle Rumpcoat started "have you ever stalked anypony or engaged in behavior that would be
"No I don't believe so".
"Are you sure Mrs. Dragon?"
"Yes".
"Four years ago you were seen nude before guests of the Grand Galloping Gala and a year before that at that at another
"Oh?"
"Harassing diamond dogs, Your connections with the stalliongrad mafia in Manehatten is documented , along with your dealings with
"The diamond dogs foalnapped me and as for Prince Blue Blood he used me as a body shield and I didn't stalk him".
"Trenderhoof?" Rumpcoat continued "and are you running an unlicensed foal care facility?"
"No! yes? no? WHAT? Sweetie Belles my very own sister!"
"The three of them?"
"Her friends. Surely you can't be serious?"
"Yes and don't call me Surely" Thistle Rumpcoats infernal questions continued "Are you suffering from extraordinary stresses?"
"None I don't believe so".
"Mrs. Dragon I think when Ponyville was attacked by that rogue dragon those many years ago you couldn't take the pressure
"What?"
"Well look at you, your vane attempt to mimic a dragon, the fake claws on your hooves and the scaly patches on your chest.
"They are Mrs. Rumpcoat".
"Ma ma waa? " Unique wondered into the room looking for Rarity "Ma waa?"
"Oh what a sweet little filly you have there".
" Yes Miss rumpcoat that's Unique Sapphire my youngest,Twilight please be a dear?"
Twilight ushered the foal to the kitchen for her refreshment a quiet settled on the room as Thistle Rumpcoat scribbled on her note pad.
"That will be all for you Mrs. Rarity Sparkle, I need to question the rest of your household".
"That would be my husband Spike" Rarity let out a nervous breath "He should be here shortly".
----------------------------------------------FPS--------------------------------------------
Minutes passed by as Rumpcoat continued to fill out the reams of documents and quadruple check her work.
Rarity excused herself to the ladysroom as Twilight waited for Spike to return her attention drawn to the stacks of the
"You know I must report on Raritys condition to the local authorities don't you?"
"I am the local authority here in Ponyville"
"Do you know Raritys husband Spike?"
"Of course he's been my assistant from my time at Canterlot to now" Twilight beamed "He's the most trustworthy guy I know! ask away!"
"During an Equestrian conference did your assistant make unlawful changes to the crowns orders during your absences?'
"No his actions were approved at the time".
"Did he construct a dangerous tower of rock and stones that caused a Wonderbolts injury?"
"Rainbow Dash volunteered and she wasn't a Wonderbolt at that time".
"Oh I see...I read that your assistant stopped a rampaging dragon that wrecked Ponyville but was reported stealing a fillys scooter and a bunch of other property that wasn't his, Is this true?".
"Yes but all the property was returned with restitution" Twilight just blankly looked at her inquisitor wondering what was next.
"And he sided with the Changelings before that last attack" the papers fluttered "Here it has him running away because of an identity
"Is and Thorax was a reformed changeling and as for Pinkie being a traitor we thought she was dating a dozen guys at once but
"Sorry Twilight I went as fast as I could" His hands on his knees winded from the run "Here's your stuff" he was puffing smoke rings.
" A DRAGON !" screamed Thistle Rumpcoat.
She raced past Twilight galloping across to the next room diving quickly behind the neatest chest.
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK"
"NooooooooooooDragons AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"Rumpcolt screamed.
Spike yelled "What in Tartarus is going on here!"
Twilight screamed "RARITY! !"
"RRRRROOOOAAAARRRRRRR !" TIME FROZE.
Spike looked on saying "Wow Rarity"
The twins oohed and awed at the sight.
Frosty held on to Sweetie Belle "Looks like someone really pissed off your sister".
Thistle Rumpcoat shook in fear grasping the nearest safe soft fuzzy thing near her.
Rarity looked down at the agent of doom with raging dragon eyes her size tripled her fangs bare fire and blue smoke bellowing.
"Unhoof my foal!"
Thistle looked down at the soft fuzzy dracony hissing through razor sharp teeth her forked tongue whipping about, her little green
Red Ruby and Crimson Ruby slowly stalked the foalnapper both of them growling in unholy unity "Let her go".
If Thistles horror of having four hybrid pony dragons on the warpath were not enough, Unique dissolved into vapor from her grasp.
Thistle bleated weakly "I only wanted to protect the little foals... I was only doing my job." her tears began to flow.
Uniques ghostly blue glow surrounded the dracony as she stood with her flank facing Rumpcoat she raised her tail and "Bfrapppp"
"Roarrrrrrr!" the building shook as another dragon joined in the frenzy.
Unique Sapphire froze solidifying looking up at pa pa thinking Oh me bad...
Thistle Rumpcoat saw a giant purple claw reach out and gently pluck the white dracony filly from the floor.
"MINE!"
The two Pongon twins were then scooped up in purple arms.
"Mine".
The angry dragon lady was wrapped in a purple dragons tail and cuddled ferociously.
The dragon softly cooed "Mine" as he looked into her eyes "Milady what are we going to do about our little lady's lack of manors?"
"Oh dear! she actually did that to our guest! Oh my!"
"Miss Rumpcoat please forgive Unique she can be a little free spirited at times"
"Milk and sugar?" She smiled weakly "how would you like your tea?"
--------------------------------------------------Oh? No Foal Protective Service-----------------------------------------
Twilight smiled as she escorted Miss Thistle Rumpcoat to the doors of the Foal Protective Services office.
"Technically they are only part foals, I'm still studying the effects".
"Princess are you sure you can handle your wards they are quite a hoofful".
"I'm sure, dragons do have a very strong bond to their hordes and hoards they will go at great lengths to protect their homes".
Spike stood back waving a friendly goodbye to the FPS agent.
"He sure is different than what I read about him and here all this time I thought she was living with a dangerous beast".
"How do you think how he became the father of four?"
"I heard that!" Spike crossed his arms beaming at his Princess of Friendship.
Twilight bid Thistle Rumpcoat a good day. Twilight held the warrant in her magic grasp and looked at the name issuing the complaint.
Spike quizzed the Alicorn about who would cause such a mess in the first place.
"But Mr. Overdraft died from a Bar-B-Que accident over a year ago".
Her next explanation didn't surprise anypony "The wheels of government roll slow and steady".
He added his two bits "and gave us the Postal Service".
"That reminds me, Spike where did you leave my notary supplies?"
While back at the boutique Sweetie Belle watched over the twins "Red, Crimson? That looks so cool! Where did you get those
Well at least it stopped raining.
An Empty Chapter Gathers A Lot of Dust
An Empty Chapter Gathers A Lot of Dust
Nothing can be said that a muse requires a little quiet, a little time and a clear mind, A lot can be said for a quiet
She scribbled along the papers margin skimming the articles sipping her brew without a care in the world, Her pampering started
She read how the Wonderbolts finished another grand season of aerial acrobatics without mishap, A sideline of how Prince Blue Blood
'My my how the mighty prince has fallen' She slyly smiled as the thought struck her that she could of been stuck with that prissy'I could of been stuck with him...' From the letters Spike shared it was'Ember must see something good in him' 'I surely don't' She sipped a bit of tea 'And here I thought all this time Apple Jack was the silly one' .
___________________________________________________________________________________________________
Twilight was out shopping early and making her rounds as the Princess of Friendship. The rubbing of royal fetlocks
___________________________________________________________________________________________
Spike was swinging wildly at the flames with a bolt of fabric as Sweetie Belle ran for the fire extinguisher the flames growing by the second
"Come on Frosty give me a hoof here" Spike looked over his shoulder, the bat pony stood still not moving a muscle or twitching a wing.
"No way dude, I burn real easy, You? Dude you're fire proof heck you even breath fire".
With that remark Spike got an idea, Not a big one like diving off a castle spire to get a crystal heart, No a very small idea, Breath fire.
Spike turned to the flames that now consumed the fabric, the counter top and glass of orange juice. He exhaled a bit to make
'WOOOOOOOOOOOSH !' The fire extinguisher blasted the flames blasted the glass and completely blasted Spike.
Sweetie Belle covered everything, When the cloud of extinguishing agent cleared. Spike?
Spike was not standing.
Spike was not moving.
Spike was not smoking.
Spike was...
"I think you extinguished him" Frosty looked at Sweetie with a golden accusing eye. "You snuffed him out Sweetie".
Sweetie dropped the weapon of mass asphyxiation her mind raced out of control 'Rarity is so going to kill me '.
Sweetie grabbed the cold purple body as Frosty left the room. Her hooves wrapping around the little dragon and hoisting his body
"Thwack wack wack wack WACK Thwack wack wack whack wack"
Spikes head twisted around a dozen times as Sweetie continued with the spoon "Excuse me? Sweetie Belle can you stop that?"
A guffaw erupted in Sweeties ears as a white ghostly Spike looked up at her from the floor 'Dink dink dink dink dink' went the spoon.
Spike reached up to stop the assault of the spoon as a spray of powder launched from his mouth across the room hitting the laughing thestral guard, his black and royal blue colors going white along with everything else in the boutique.
They thought of the same horrible fate that waited for them all 'We wrecked the shop! Rarity's going to be peeved, We're like really dead!'
___________________________________________________________________________________________________
Raritys eyes grew wide as she looked at the advertisement section of the paper. Fifty percent off on fabric at Barnyard Bargains
Raritys ears tuned to the quite lamentations off in the distance echoing in the depths of the castle. She crossed off the items on her
The castle was a maze of hallways, doors and countless janitor closets. Why Twilight could catalog a whole library full of tens of
Raritys ears zoomed in on the voice "Stupid Sweetie Belle stupid Apple Boom" She continued moving she knew that voice.
"Stupid Crusaders they've got everything easy, jobs, colts, What I get? A stupid chicken who splits when things get too hot".
Rarity peeked around the library book shelf seeing a pile of job applications, waded papers and a stubby set of wings.
"Sniff" the young mare was filling out another form "Stupid Derpy even she's got a super job and she's seeing a doctor too".
Rarity sat next to the frustrated orange pegasus without a sound as Scoots filled in the spaces and dotted her T's and crossed her eyes.
They both sat in silence as Scootaloo filled out her pile of future job interviews not breaking rhythm as she spoke
"I guess you overheard?"
"Humm".
"I'm not sorry at all".
"Humm"
"I hate them they've had it easy!"
"Humm".
"They've got it all!"
"zzzzzzzzZZZZZ".
"I have to fight for everything".
"ZZZzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZz".
"Are you even listening to me?"
"Only if you have something else to say other than sounding like a whining spoiled foal, You're a nearly a grown mare are you not?"
"But but".
"Are you?"
"Why should you care you've got everything!"
"And I could lose everything Scootaloo even those I hold very dear to my heart, Even you".
It got quiet once more but just for a minute.
"I almost lost Equestria for a silly rock and My dear Spikey I could of lost him several times over..."
"But dragons can like live for a thousand years".
"And even Celestia was almost struck down" Rarity looked at the forms and applications" We all have our bad mane days my dear".
"I'm just having more on my mind Sweetie has her singing and helping you part time and Apple Bloom has Sweet Apple Acres
'Humm"
"What does Rumble see in AB anyway it's not like she's a pegasus and that creepy guy Sweetie's going with I don't even want to
"Dust. Frosty had a thing about dust affecting his sinuses and his ceiling hanging has the benefit of keeping Sweetie Belle chaste".
"Chaste?"
"Pure"
"What?"
"He hangs on the ceiling so Sweetie can't have her way with him".
"Apple Blooms got her beat".
"What?"
"Apple Bloom and Rumble caught Big Mack a few times".
"No!"
"Yes lots of times I think that's why Fluttershy's hanging with Discord" Scootaloo pondered "He keeps her from going insane".
"And here I thought it was Angel Bunny, Fluttershy never once mentioned anything about Big Mac or Discord during our spa sessions".
"Mac's a wild one. Cheerilee, Marble. Lotus, Lyra, Bonbon, Mayor Mare, Colgate, Daisy, Harshwhinny, Mable, Pinkie, Thistle Rumpcoat..."
"PINKIE? Our Pinkamana Dianne Pie?"
"Yeah before she fell for that bug guy Doomie".
"No!"
"Well yeah It's always the quiet ones, I think he calms Pinkie enough that she doesn't destroy everything on her many sugar rushes".
"Humm"
"What's it like?"
Rarity just cocked her head at the sudden question "What's it like, I'm not following you my dear what's what like?"
"Well we all thought with your career you'd wait on foals and everything" Scoots raised an eye from her work 'So what's it like?"
"A royal pain in the plot" Rarity continued "Everyday is a new demand, a new deadline, a new disaster, another dirty diaper, then the
"If that's what it's like sorry I asked".
"Oh Scootaloo it's really not as discouraging as it sounds, Are these all your applications? come with me please".
Rarity gathered all the forms and papers ushering the pegasus to the dinning area of the castle.
Unique Sapphire was curled around her plushy hoof me downs, the last time Scoots saw the little one was from afar on her daily walks.
"This is what makes all the little pains go away, We didn't know it at first until the Dragon Lord lectured Twilight on the habits of
"Horse apples, We all knew how Spike was all mushy when he saw you when he first came to town" She pointed a stubby feather
"So you think I whine too much?"
"And eat cartons and cartons of Vanilla Oat Swirl Ice Cream between chocolates".
"A lady has her needs my dear".
"And I need to find a job, If you don't mind I got to get going if I'm going to find one".
Rarity held the batch of applications and eyed Scootaloo "How fast are you with your scooter?"
"What's that got to do with a job?"
"Everything, How fast are you?"
"Fast enough to make the Equestria games towing Sweeite Belle and Apple Blooms big fat..."
"That fast? From Ponyville to Canterlot?"
"I can beat the Train and ground carriages. Flying chariots not so much. Why?"
Rarity took the still sleeping Sapphire in her magic and deposited her on her back easily taking the dracony for a little trek
"Come along Miss Scootaloo we shall negotiate terms during brunch".
__________________________________________________________________________________________________
The bell over the boutiques threshold rang out as the three snowpony looking shop stewards froze in their tracks.
"It was nice knowing you two" Spike whispered "We're really dead in a dragon sort of way...toasted".
"I'm sure going to miss you Sweetie I bet we'd of had some really cute foals..."
"Now you want to mess around! Where were you last night? Hanging around as usual! You're a no good tease that's what you are!"
"WHAT IN CELESTIAS GARDENS HAVE YOU THREE DONE!" Raritys right eye twitched as her petite claws pawed the floor
"Is she being sarcastic?" Sweetie Belle whispered to nopony in particular as Spikes jaw hit the floor in a small white dust cloud.
"What a magnificent plan, a white sale! Come Scootallo we have contracts to go over and Spikey dear please have the boutique
Spike blushed at the compliment as the two exited the shop floor "Come on you guys lets get started we have two hours".
Spike turned to see Frosty quietly sneaking out the front window.
"Get back here you leather winged coward!" Sweetie Belle yelled as she galloped after the fleeing bat pony.
Spike watched his so called help disappear his frown growing by the second "What else?"
An angry roar came out of the kitchen "SPIKE!"
Spikes frown was turned into absolute fear as the words of his dragon lady pierced his ear flukes.
"WHO IN TARTARUS DRANK ALL THE ORANGE JUICE AND LEFT THE EMPTY CARTON IN THE REFRIGERATOR !"
Spike could of easily placed the blame on Scootaloos parents but sadly nopony in all of Equestria knows who the hay they are.
Loss
Spike sat in the grass staring at the tombstone the inscription all so newly carved and it stung his heart.
_______________________________
"Spike?" Rarity whispered in a shaky voice "Spike look at me".
He looked at the frightened mare, she was as radiant as the first day he saw her in the hall decorating it for that Summer Sun Celebration
"I'll get Twilight stay put!"
Spike was only gone for a moment as he dragged the half asleep Princess of Friendship back into the room.
Rarity looked awfully tired her pleading looks were answered with Spike crawling in the bed with her and holding her close,
"Spike I need you to stand back I need to use a containment with a stasis spell, I've got to get her to the hospital stat!"
Rarity held his cheek gave him a weak peck on the snoot "The foals precious scales..."
Spike and Rarity locked their eyes to each others heart and in a flash of magic the two mares were gone.
Crimson Red, Ruby and Unique Sapphire slept soundly, Spikes little clan needed a sitter but he couldn't just leave to find one at
Luna watched Spike leave the crystal castle in haste. Her heart broke at the news of this couples plight, The moon princess did
_______________________________________
Spike waddled slowly along to the graveyards exit the iron works rusted and stones faded with time, he studied the
Some had lived long lives full of happiness, some had died in battle. Some had glorious tributes, some epitaphs were humorous,
__________________________________________
The castle bustled with activity, ponies coming and going some reminiscing of times old and comforting each other.
Rainbow, Pinkie and Frosty sat at the castles reception area addressing visitors and friends concerns. Seeing to everypony needs
"Dad, when can we see mom?"
"Soon" Spikes thought went to the marble slab with the red rose "We need to see Auntie Twilight first".
"Why?"
"Crimson Watch you little sister please" Spike hoped that the task of watching his little sister would keep the twin busy instead of
Clinical Twilight was the Twilight ponyville most feared only next to Crazy Twilight and this week was a combination of both
She had actually preformed the examination only to be taken by the hospital staff to the local mental ward for observation.
"Twi? Spike asked "How ya doing?"
"I think I'm Okay for now, I'm sorry I couldn't do anything But I did find out it was caused by a common virus I'm sure next..."
"Twilight! please" Spikes forceful tone softened "lets go see everybody and ask the doctors to remove your restraints again".
Spike didn't care for hospitals all that much but understood that medical science advances often stood on the shoulders of tragedy.
"It's okay Twi I know we'll be fine everypony has our backs like we've got yours. You did your best even if things didn't end for the better".
As the two walked down the hallway the Crusader mares were volunteering a little time and a little blood and a bit of tears as the needles
"Sir Spike" a Doctor called "We have the results of the tests, if you may come with us?
"Ah can you release Twilights restraints?" Spike motioned to the cocooned princess of delusional powers of what ever "please?"
"Only if she promises to behave herself and not get so deeply involved that it compromises her own well being, Can you DO that?"
The twin pongons snickered at the sight of a restrained auntie princess "Auntie Twi was bad" and "She looks like a purple hoofball".
Spike followed the foals as the three little ones scampered through the door ahead of him. Twi took a deep calming breath and walked in.
Twilight entered the room where Spike and the rest of his clan sat around waiting for the Princess of Worry, she looked around
"Twilight my dear If it wasn't for Spike keeping tabs on you I believe the whole kingdom would falter and crumble into chaos".
Rarity was laying propped up on a mound of pillows her hooves wrapped around her clan, Spike held her up and cradled the
Spike thought back to the red rose and Angelicas plaque. Some days you feel helpless and alone powerless against fate
The papers epitaph for Angelica was a single line in the obituary section somewhere in the back next to the cheap advertising
Spike thought of that single red rose.
And Found
The water of the castles pool was soothingly delightful and being on the roof it had the full attention of the noonday sun.
She could smell the hayburgers on the grill and listened to the sizzling of other tasty bits sacrificed on the BBQs fire as she
Her little ones had a brief encounter with flammable furnishings back at the hospitals discharge station but a quick
Who knows the cost to the royal treasury of all these little accidents we avoided for not of the Princesses Twilights
"Angelica thanks you" Rarity eyes opened with a flash of stars and a royal blue glow.
"Hello again my princess of the night is this a social visit or another therapy session?"
"I apologize for your discomfort lady Rarity but these things must be settled, if not for you then for your mate and the rest of the nation".
"I assure you my dear Luna all shall be fine as long as Twilights inner witch doctor is preoccupied with whatever
Luna eyed the marsh mellow floating draped in purple wine grapes and silver robes, Yes a marsh mellow her eyes closed
"Oh well if you insist, What will it be today?"
"For the moment lady Rarity just think happy thoughts, Something simple, Something pivotal but not Equestria shattering....If you please".
Rarity hummed as Luna focused in on her dream within a dream and so it began.
Holy moly the room was cramped and small. It was an office with the usual trappings, desks chairs, filing bureaus but filled with
"If you please" yelled Mayor Mare as the mob shuffled into order even when Pinkie zipped around arranging the space available.
"Princess Twilight Sparkle are your subjects ready? We only have this brief moment here!"
"Yes your honor they're ready as they'll ever be".
"How's my frock?" Rarity asked to no pony in particular.
"I got it ! I got it! I got it! I got more flowers!" yelled Pinkie.
"They're quite lovely dear, How's my frock?
"Ah eh Rarity it looks great, You you look beautiful" Spikes eyes glazed over staring out into vacant space.
"Spikes going to get some, Spikes going to get some" Rainbow teased the dragon whispering just enough to be heard by a few.
"We behooved are gathered here to witness..."
"My rock?" Rarity spoke up nervously "Has anypony seen my rock?"
"Your rock?" Spike broke out of his daze "Rock?"
"Yes Precious Scales my rock!"
"Will you please I'm officiating a holy ceremony here!" Mayor Mare face hoofed.
"I got more flowers Rarity I hope you like em? you like em? you like em? I got a discount too!" as Miss Pie continued to set arrangements.
"Ah I got your rock, It being delivered by a couple of stallions it's the size of Phillydelphia!"
"Fer crying out loud Rainbow Dash we all know what happens on the honeymoon now shush it!"
"Bra Ha Ha Ha Ha"
"Spikey the ring!"
"Oh"
"Oh horse feathers! enough I'm here to join these two if it the last thing I do today!" the Mayor clenched her teeth and gripped the podium.
"Sweetie Belle where's mother and father?"
"Mom's a little miffed cause Spikes not a prince or a doctor you know how mom is" Sweetie shrugged her withers "They're on vacation".
"Will the happy couple get their soon to be miserable tails down here front and center!" huff huff huff "NOW!
Spike the not so brave and nervous along with the lovely train tangled sweat stained wedding dressed in a hurry bride shuffled
"Now the short short version! Spike the Dragon do you?"
"Eh yeah?"
"Rarity, Do you?"
"She will soon you can bet on that, eh Spike!" Rainbow guffawed.
"I do, and I'll speak with you later Rainbow Dash!"
"Good you two are married give her the ring thingy and kiss!" growled the Mare "Now if you'll excuse me I have other business to attend to".
Their eyes glistened with the kiss to come the ring slipped on her horn by nervous dragon claws her breath hitched
"I awoke cradled in Spikeys claws my wedding dress ruined and everypony covered in blood".
"Was your ladys honor avenged by your dragon against Miss Rainbow Dash? So heroic!" Luna beamed with the thought of honorable combat!
"No it seems my Spikey suffered a hemorrhage during our kiss, I've always had an impact with him in all things romantic".
Rarity sat cleaned up like the rest of the office, no small feat thanks to the magic resistant blood of a little dragon,
"What are you two bickering about now?" Twilight quizzed the pink and speedster.
"Twenty bits for six months!" Pinkie yelled excitedly.
"You're on. Make mine Hearts and Hooves day. Rainbow countered.
"I'll put in my bits for summer that when the bunnies come! Yay!" Fluttershy too was into the action!
Apple Jack just couldn't believe what she was hearing " No way ya all got to give those two some time".
"Not time, Tic Tacs" Sweetie Belle sang out.
"Breath mints?" Twilight looked at the little Miss Belle wondering what this had to do with anything.
Apple Bloom took a shot at clearing up the confusion "Rarity was on the pill".
Scootaloo added "Now she's on breath mints".
Twilight looked at the three and asked the final question "How long?"
"Ever since those two started dating" the three spoke as one.
"SWEETIE BELLE YOU LITTLE SHYSTER WAIT TILL MOTHER HEARS OF THIS!"
Luna grinned at the sight "So this is where the blood letting started!" she clapped her hooves together "Shall we continue?"
And Eaten
Luna was gorging and feasting and munching and crunching enjoying the day well over her bedtime. Her taste buds cooed at the flavors roasted toasted and Bar-B-Qed, there was nothing like it that she had ever tasted in a thousand years or even a thousand more, It surely beat the malted grass and breaded twigs of long ago ages.
"I must exclaim these provisions are truly fit for thy Royal tummy!" Luna let out a royal belch of approval "My complements Sir Spike thee great honorable brave glorious, such a master of thee in thy dragons keep".
Spike beamed at such words while Rarity stared at the dark princesses display of table manors as the rest of the table returned fire with fire with belches burps and gouts of flame from the guests and the odd couples pongon/dracony foals.
Rarity saw the beads of dragon sweat rolling and Spikes grasp at his invisible collar. She leaned in for the kill her hooves curled under her chin as her eyes batted that devastating code of 'You're powerless my dragon' Her words rolled out like a mist fogging his brain "So Precious Scales who are those great mares that you know of?" Before Spike could answer a voice rang out.
"Me me pick me, I know I know." Confetti and sprinkles blasted the far end of the foals table as Mrs. Pinkie Sandwich raised her hoof making her answer known "Celestia, Luna,Twilight, Rainbow, Fluttershy, Applejack, Me and Rares your favorite squeeze mare... Does Gabby count as a mare or are other creatures off the table sort to speak?"
Spike could only wait for the misty blue magic to grab him and beat him into a pulp along with the potato salad.
As the lunch continued for all seated Apple Bloom attached a pink choker around Unique Sapphires neck, A single gem with a gold setting in it's middle. The Dracony strode to her mothers side leading the Cutie Mark Crusaders
Now Spikes Time
Today of all days the sun was doing what it does. The parks grass felt like a grand bug filled carpet under hoof and flank
No shelving books, no cleaning, no sweeping floors, no sending flaming scrolls to Princess Celestia, No experiments no saving
"Twilight I can't thank you enough for your assistance in this little family mater" Rarity donned a cloak and adjusted
Twilight smiled nervously "I had him take the day off with everything going on it's a little hard on him and with all the rumors it's not any easier for him to focus on his work".
As the two exit the castle Twilight casts a cloaking spell. "No need to add to the drama".
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
At this moment it was now Spikes time. The grass yielded under his scaly butt and he let out a puff of emerald smoke as he settled down for a quick noontime snooze "Ahhhhhhahhhhhhhimmmmmm". Placing his claws behind his head he lets the sun warm his scales, 'Ah yes the now Spike feels good the now Spike feels relaxed the now Spike hears a bunch of hooves coming in his direction' 'No worry it's got to be nothing'
Keeping his eyes closed and he lets out a slow even breath " That's future Spikes problem". The hoof beats grow stronger closer.
A blur of multi colored fur rolled over him with flashes of white orange yellow peppered in hints of red pink purple and lavender everything Spike saw was rolling and spinning with the green grasses and was it a blue sky?
They all stopped in a calamitous malefic wreck twisted in a pile of tangled scales fur grass and twigs.
"Now that you have my undivided attention wutsup?" The now Spike was annoyed. "You got any ice cream or gems?"
The three Crusaders replied "Twilight told us to keep an eye on you" Scootaloo continued "no ice cream and no gems".
Sweeite Belle spilled the beans "Our big sisters are a little worried with everything going on at Twilights castle..."
Applebloom continued "And that little feud that sort of went on between Rarity and Twilight after you flamed her boutique. On accident".
Scootaloo looked at the worry on Spikes face "Come on they still can't be fighting, Are they?"
Spike let out a sigh "I wish" and shook his head as he pinched his snout right between the eyes.'maybe I should take up cider drinking?'
The fillies leaned in to hear the tale of 'Casanova Spike the Troubled Dragon'. Spike opened up and plopped down on his rump.
"Twilights just going over the deep end with her silly science stuff. It gets a little raw sometimes, All for the sake of science".
Scootaloo smiles "Got to be better than fighting".
Spike zoned out "Of course you guys remember when I flamed Raritys Boutique and Twilight and Rares got into it?"
All three fillies let out a collective 'gulp' as the fear widened their eyes the three answering with a simple "Yeah".
"After they settled down Twilight started doing these tests, She even got Big Mac and Fluttershy in as control subjects. Wires, machines'Spike get over here. . . NOW!'
This won't hurt a big dragon like you. ' Now they call me big , Won't hurt? Lies all lies. . . IT HURTS!'
Spike I need another tissue sample, 'Lose it like the last one? What about all the others? I only have a limited supply, are you making another assistant?'
Spike we need another blood sample, 'Ya got to be feeding a family of vampires.'
Spike we need a spit sample, Spike can you fill this bottle?" 'I'll give you a spit sample alright, Will you hold the bottle? My aim is off today'
Spike growled "Tests, samples, wires, Doctors, breathing monitors and a machine that went 'ping' and nothing else just PING".
Twilight was driving everypony crazy, Charts and cards and diagrams and reports. The doctors cold hooves all over everything and everypony!
"So last week I got fed up and bit the doctor!" Spike huffed out and spread out on the grass once more a puff of smoke wafting up in frustration. Minutes passed as the tension released into the warm sun and cool grass under scale and flank.
Quiet broke when Spikes stomach called collect "now that you wrecked my nap I crave a little chocolate shake and a sapphire cupcake".
The Crusaders all popped into his view with sad puppy dog eyes and the sweet sickening smiles we all grew to love, The three spoke as one
"Oh Great Honorable Brave and Glorious Spike thee Dragon will you treat these three little starving fillies to a little bitty snack too?"
Spike rolled his eyes at the little three ring circus of demolition "Yeah, Why not we can charge it to Twilights research account".
"Spike the Great and Glorious?!"
Other voices boomed from the bushes as stallions poured out with cameras and other tools of gossip.
"Spike? Spike! Tale spin from the Equestrian Scentinial will you have a few words with me?"
"Spike! Note Bug from the Ponyville Daily ,Spike what is that secret project Princess Twilight Sparkle is working on?"
"Spike, Flash Card from Equestria Science and Medicine, What injured that doctor last week?"
"Spike what is the rumor of..."
Spike looked at all the flashes and reporters he looked left he looked right and he stood up and with authority spoke to the mob.
"I have only one thing to say. . ." He looked once more "RUNnnnnnnnnnnn!
Spike and the fillies bolted from the park with the press in hot pursuit the air filled with flashes and pointless questions.
Spike plus three dodged jumped or twisted out of the view of the cameras and the thrusts of the microphones as the questions filled the air.
"What is Princess Twilights secret...?" A quick dodge to the left.
"Spike is it true a new life form was discovered...?" Spike and company jumped under a cart rolling out to safety on the far side.
Reporters galloped in a classic flanking maneuver surrounding him and his companions like a Equestrian vice.
"Spike is it true the Elements of harmony are fighting?" One mike.
"Spike what is the Scaled Diamond Project?" Two mikes.
"Spike is Princess Twilight carrying your love foal?" Three mikes more. The camera flashes grew in volume and annoyance.
Spikes eye twitched and the wisps of green smoke began to signal a warpath of epic proportions.
He was about to snap 'Spike NO LIKE' His clawed fists balled up his spines stiffened his eyes shrank to little pin pricks.
'All junk and NO SNOOZE make Spike a dull boy!' the sound of tightening fibers crackling could be heard till. . .
"Sna...BooM!". Pinkie popped up with a blast of yet another hidden party canon launching Spike over the roofs and out of sight.
She faced the hungry mob and announced "You silly fillies Twilight's not carrying any foals I am!"
The reporters flocked around pinkie cameras and microphones at the ready waiting for the scoop of the day.
"I'm the only one who's carrying a foal here, See?"
Pound and Pumpkin drooled all over her hooves as she proudly hoisted them out of the baby buggy.
"When ever I foal sit for the Cakes I always find time to carry the twins".
The reporters just stood with their mouths open like Venus fly traps waiting for a fresh bunch of flies for lunch.
As for lunch Spike laid on the tin roof of a cat house shop not moving waiting for the coast to clear, till Apple bloom finely found him.
"Ah Spike you alright there?" she asked knowing he was on the edge of whatever. "Spike...You ok?"
Spike was zoned out he blinked his eyes and focused "Yeah...Where's Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo?"
Apple bloom pointed at Sugar Cube Corner "Waiting for us, What are those reporters doing asking all those silly questions and why do you look like my big brother after Twilight messed with him, As for Twilight who knocked her up anywho?"
Spike low crawled to the edge of the roof "It's a longer story, I'll tell you all about it when we get our eats".
They secreted their way to Sugar Cube Corners back door and passed unnoticed to the back of the dining area picking a nice cozy spot.
"You Bit Your Doctor?"
Scootaloo asked the question as chunks of cake came flying out of her mouth.
Sweetie Belle laughed "No silly Spike bit Raritys doctor".
Applebloom sounded "Ah ain't surprised at all, Ol Big Mac quit them tests when they tried to measure his doodle"
Sweetie giggled "My big sister was acting more than her normal weird when this stuff started".
She slurped louder and made googley eyes for dramatic effect her eyes bulging as she held back a fit of giggles.
Spike laughed and shook his head "She got a little better when Twilight would grind up some sapphires and rubies
"That's just gross" The fillies gaged with disgust "Ruby spit YUCK!"
Spike rolled his eyes "You guys share straws don't you. . .Huh , Don't you?"
Scootaloo gave Spike a major stink eye "But we don't back wash it, that's just outright flat out disgusting".
Spike replied "It's like kissing OK?" He tapped his claws slowly, thinking "I guess you guys don't have colt friends yet?"
The three looked at him tilting their heads and then they looked at each other a little bit- then back at him- then each other
The tune for the moment was now sung "Spike and Rarity sitting in a tree k-i-s-s-i-n-g..." the trio belted out the rest of the song.
It was loud enough to draw the attention of the nosey reporters. Talking heads popped out of everywhere, Volleys of questions fired at the speed of sound pounded Spike the hapless dragon.
Spike dashed out the door screaming "NOOOOoooooooooo Let's get out of here!"
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
The mad dash for the door started. Reporters scrambled for the only exit as Pinkie entered carrying the Cake twins and
The reporters looked at their only way to flee slowly closing the locks snapping shut one by one. Pinkamena Diane Pie slowly turned
"Now lets get digging for some real dirt" she purred, suddenly she screamed as she bounded through the air "TRASH PARTY!"
Pound and pumpkin screamed in delight watching the chaos erupt in cake crumbs and gooey frosting.
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
Spike and the Crusaders ran back to the entrance to the park, panting Spike looked up at the clock tower.
"Great we still have a few minutes" his breath labored from the sprint over.
They continued at a more relaxed pace passing by one of Twilights Royal Guards and picked a place in the sun.
The now Spike felt good the now Spike felt relaxed the now Spike has somepony casting a shadow over him.
"Aw Rainbow cut it out". Spike opened his eyes and they began to focus 'Oh Blue eyes!' "Rarity!"
Twilights voice answered next to the puffy marsh mellow "Well of course Romeo. Who else would it be?"
The now Spike was happy showing his usually dopy smile.
Blood - Bath - Time
Spike sat up to see a picknic setup next to him more than the whole gang was invited AJ, Big Mac, Rainbow,
Seeing his appearance she gasped "Spikey you're absolutely filthy what in Celestrias green world have you been doing?"
The Crusaders answered for him "He's been with us".
She let out a sigh "Apparently so, What no tree sap?"
Twilight looked around "Where's Pinkie?"
"She's giving some pesky reporters an interview at Sugar Cube Corner" The Crusaders laughed "Mostly trash and frosting".
Twilight and the group laid out on the red checkered square blanket passing out the refreshments.
Scootaloo bit a cookie and asked "Twilight why are those pesky reporters chasing Spike when they should be going after
Twilight giggled "Those so called reporters are worse than Gabby Gums and you saw what happened there".
The three Ex-Foal Free Press writers knew the drill "Yeah. . .We're still sorry for it".
Everypony and the drake were waiting for the Element of Laughter to make her entrance.
Spike was already crunching on some gems, Apple Jack was nipping a flask of cider to her misfortune Dash spied her favorite swill.
"Hey AJ pass that this away" Rainbow asked with pleading eyes.
"I only have a little bit here" AJ teased.
"Aw come on I only want a little sip. . . please pretty please?" laying on the sad puppy dog eyes with alligator tears.
"Ok it's against my better judgment only a little nip we haven't eaten yet you understand?" AJ raised the flask.
Rainbow dashed across the blanket and greedily snatched up the flask in a flash she raised it to her lips and chugged
Apple Jack burst out laughing as Rainbow Dash turned lovely shades of pink and green.
"Always think before you drink" AJ said as she pulled out a bottle of the real stuff snickering at the sight of RDs little spitting fit.
The others watched the prank fizzle out and the good stuff was passed around Rainbow sniffed the rim before she
"Ah that's more like it!" Rainbow sang as her taste buds were rewarded.
A cloak covered Rarity sat with her back to the bunch Spike looked as if he was slowly nuzzling her.
"I'm here!" Pinkie spread her hooves and cartwheeled through the group streamers and confetti blowing in the wind.
"It's about time you showed up" Twilight fumed "We all were starving waiting for you".
"Oh it's no fur off my flank you should of started anyway" She took a Celestia sized bite out of the cake in her hooves. "I was being interviewed by those pesky poopy pants reporters they wanted the big scoop really bad".
Twilight and the rest let out a collective gasp. "What did you tell them? " Spike only groaned.
"Awe nothing special mostly trash talk I had them cleaning up the garbage they spilled all over Sugar Cube Corner".
Spike and Rarity dozed off in the warm sun the now Spike felt good he felt real good.
They awoke with haze topped with gray storm clouds nopony else was around Spike looked up at Rarity and started chuckling
Spike couldn't hold it back, laughter echoed out to all points of nothingness Raritys eyes looked in horror at the crime against fashion she herself was displaying but Spikes outfit was just as outlandish covered in glitter it resembled a dinner jacket and thong arranged in the most unflattering way Rarity wanted to flee in panic her world spinning out of control she awoke back at the gathering with a snort and a start
"Spike, Master Spike" Spike watched Rarity dissolve into a cloud of colorful butterflies they caressed his scales tickling like numerous light ladylike kisses.
He froze and slowly turned to face the voice "Luna?"
"Yes it is I you still slumber Sir Spike. . . Be warned what you share is seen by some as a threat, Celestria has informed me to relay this message be vigilant and on guard we need time to find the wolves in the fold do not tell a soul of my warning ".
"Luna how is Raritys foal a threat to Equestria?"
She looked at him with understanding "Some fear change no mater how insignificant. . .small, Spike those in power fear a loss of influence
The Element of Laughter calls your chil..."
Pinkie pops into their view "Dracony, Long Ma, Qilin, Kirin, Pongon, Half breed, Scaleycorn, Unidragon, Ponygon, Rarispike, Sparity
Lunas eyes twitched "I'll never get used to that-her um, where was I?" she tapped her cheek "I got nothing".
Spike sat up "Ah wasn't it something about the nobles being upset at us?"
Luna let out a sigh "Yes be warned and be prepared we shall contact you with further instructions now it is time to awaken
"Cake? Aren't you supposed to be asleep at this hour and what's the shiny thong stuff anyway?"
Luna laughed "I am asleep Sir Spike as for the attire it's my dream is it not?"
Anonymous screams rang out as Spike woke up
Flashes of cameras and screams continued Spike looked at Rarity and she to him.
They both saw the 'blood' crimson on her muzzle and neck and red oozing from Spikes Snout the flashes increased in volume
confusion was king and the paparazzi queen time crawled for Twilight and the rest.
Spikes forewarning and instincts took over he growled at the flashes smoke pouring out of his nostrils Rarity gripped Spike and yelled
An emerald fire ball engulfed half of the photographers as the other half fled into the bushes trailed by the Royal Guard.
"Spike what have you done?" Rarity wiped her muzzle the ruby slurry smearing into her face.
"Sorry Rares I got a little protective" He took his claw and wiped her muzzle clean and stuck his ruby syrup sopping claw
The smoke wafted overhead of the Princess of the Sun "Oh how nice a letter from Twilight".
One by one ponies with cameras fell from the cloud of emerald smoke with every landing came a flash and a splash.
The Princess of Equestria eyes twitched as she lowered her wash cloth and rubber ducky
Guards !. . .Summon thee Royal Guards!
