Chapters 2:48 PM - 9:21 PM, Aug 7th, 2015 (Audio)
2:48PM, Aug 7th, 2015
My name is Alex Hardd, and I have been transported to a land that was envisioned in a TV show.
No shitting around here, either.
I am an attendee to a convention that is centred around the fans of the My Little Pony television show that had garnered a freakishly large audience from teens and adults alike, instead of it's intended audience of little girls.
This convention was called BronyCon.
I won't go into detail about how I arrived here, because I assume it was recorded by 5738 other people that were in the vicinity when it happened, but I walked through a bright flash of light and I woke up in the middle of some wooded area that isn't dense enough to be considered a forest.
I checked my person and I discovered I had five things in my pockets.
I had my wallet with a total of $56 dollars inside along with my I.D, driving licence and various loyalty cards. I wonder if they have Subway in what seems to be Equestria.
The only reason I can kinda take that guesstimate is because I see a castle mounted atop the highest mountain as far as the eye can see. And I'm guessing that's Canterlot and I'm heading that way as we speak.
Or I speak. Whatever.
Anyway, I had my wallet, my iPhone which has 78% battery left, but I have it on the lowest brightness and on Airplane Mode. It should last me a few days. Maybe.
I also have my headphones, which is a absolute Godsend. Without my headphones, I'm sure I'd headbutt the first being I encounter in this world, regardless if it was a Unicorn or not.
The next two items are very interesting. I have two bottles of eJuice, which is a vital item to use for the final item. They are two different flavours and thankfully, they are full.
The final item is a vape device. Which began as a substitute for smoking, but soon developed the "hobby" side, which causes a rise in vapour production, customisation and of course, price.
My loadout is currently my Sigelei 150 Watt Temperature Control device, accompanied by the Elite Tank II. And it has full battery, which lasts over five days at least.
So I have my nicotine intake to keep my stress and anxiety levels down, my music to keep my sanity intact and my Subway loyalty card so I can purchase a chicken tikka footlong sub when I get the chance.
It looks like I am a long distance from the so called Canterlot, so I am going to focus on walking towards that, before I die of starvation, thirst or both.
I am currently using my text-to-speech app on my phone so I can save walking and texting, which can probably prove fatal. All those public service announcements have made that clear. I will obviously update this log as anything of relevance appears. The time is 2:57PM, American UTC time, August 7th 2015, Earth Calendar.
This is Alex Hardd, signing off.
8:16DC, Orion 14th, 2515AD (Memory)
6:22PM, Aug 7th, 2015
Hopefully the time stamp made this apparent, but it is 6:22PM at the time of this recording starting.
I think I have been hiking or walking or whatever for about three and a half hours, and I am fucked. My feet, back and legs kill. I don't really do much exercising and this is hurting.
I have stopped to sit down and rest at a hill, which has presented me with a pleasant view of Canterlot, along with an overall evaluation of the terrain I shall be traversing on the journey closer to this damn city.
If there is some weird words that are sometimes on their own, it is the app trying its best to interpret the sound of me inhaling my vape and blowing a large cloud of vapour, so I apologise in advance.
One thing to add to this log, or whatever I am calling this, is the fact that the air that I am breathing in is very different to what we breath on Earth.
It feels much more clean and I can take much more deeper breaths and it feels great in my lungs. But the weird thing, is that once I exhale my cloud of vapour, it lingers.
On Earth, the clouds tend to dissipate after a few seconds, depending on vapour thickness. But here, it lingers for far longer, and it is really weird. If I look behind me, I can see a faint trail of vapour that I have left behind me.
It's not faint from dissipation, but from the fact that it has risen so high that I cannot distinguish it from genuine clouds formed of water vapour anymore.
I'm not complaining, don't get me wrong, it looks freaking awesome. I thought it would just be something to make note of.
Anyway, on a more serious note, I need to find some sort of water to drink, preferably a lake or river, as I am feeling the dehydration already.
And I have only been here three hours. Thankfully I wasn't drinking alcohol, as this would have been a short journey. I can see it in the pony headlines already.
"New Being Brought To Equestria, Dies."
If I wasn't a shrivelling corpse, I'd buy myself five copies and frame every page up in my front room.
My battery is currently at 75%, so that means it gives me approximately one hour of music and app usage per one percent. I cannot rely on it too much though, or I shall end up with a dead phone by day two.
And then I will headbutt something. Preferably something with legs. Speaking of wildlife, I haven't seen or heard anything at all, it is quite freaky. In forests and outdoor areas are abundant with at least birds and maybe the occasional squirrel.
But there is literally nothing at all. Either there is nothing on this planet, or their ecosystems are vastly different to ours. But I have made that obvious already, regarding the vape situation.
I'd better get moving again, and find a water source. Best way to do that is to head downhill as much as possible. Rivers don't run on mountains and hills.
Voss had pew.
One more vape for the road, I don't want to get nic-sick out here.
This is Alex Hardd, signing off.
10:37PM, Aug 7th, 2015 (First-Person)
9:03PM, Aug 7th, 2015
I am lucky enough to have found a small stream running parallel to the wooded area that I am transversing and I am so grateful for it.
I have never known thirst quite like that, it was both physically and mentally exhausting. I took the route that looked the most apparent for heading downhill and I ended up in a thicker wooded area.
This time, I finally heard some evidence of wildlife: crickets. I heard crickets before birds, which is damn weird. But regardless, after trudging through that terrain for about an hour, I started to hear birds once again.
So the planet isn't completely dead or abandoned after all, thank jeebus.
I am currently walking alongside that same stream that I drank from; which is amazingly clear and clean I might add.
It is obvious that whoever inhabits this planet, does not pollute their atmosphere like Humans do. But we have pizza and television. If they don't have that, their is the fault.
I have got a feeling I am much closer to civilisation at least, so I won't be hungry for much longer. I'm so hungry I could eat a horse, hooves and all.
Sorry, I had to make that dreadful pun.
Anyway, I'll report back to this once I have discovered anything else of importance, considering I have found a source of water now.
This is Alex Hardd, signing off.
is this thing on?
Oh fuck
Dhaka
:..
Again
Her
I often
Shit, don't drop your phone, genius. Hello? It is working...
I see something. I'm on the edge of the wooded area and I can see houses and little ponies flying about and wandering near the outskirts.
It looks like a small group of them are standing around, calling out at something, but I don't hear them over the running stream and the millions of crickets behind me.
I don't even know what to do.. Do I walk over there? Run at them?
Run away?
Scare the living day lights out of them?
Probably not, they'll probably Avada Kedavra the shit out of me.
I cannot take this... Is that Twilight Sparkle I see over there?
Holy shit, it is! What is she looking for? Oh god, this little part of civilisation must be Ponyville! Why didn't I think about looking for it before?
Damn it, I think I should go over there.
Okay... One big vape hit before I go over there...
'Oh my god, is that...?'
Phew, hi guys, my name is Alex and I-
'IT'S A DRAGON! RUN!'
Oh shit
Shelf
Soap
As you probably heard, I walked out of the bushes, exhaled my vapour as I introduced myself and they instantly took me for a dragon. Even though I look nothing like a dragon.
This isn't good, I should lay low for a while. But I need to eat, damn it.
Oh god, I'm shaking.
Let me try and go out there and try talking to them again, as it was Fluttershy, I think, that startled them off.
Let me just take a few puffs to calm me down.
Joke
Joked
Height
Ahh, much better. Wonders what deep breaths and a nicotine fix does for the nerves.
Joke, joked, height? Is that seriously what this thing thinks I'm saying when I'm vaping?
Anyway, let me step out again, without the vape and see if they are scared of me this time.
Uh, hello? My name is Alex Hardd, and I am from another world. And I am not a dragon.
Hey, what are you doing? Am I in a spell? What's going on? Get off me!
Help!
Somebody hel-
:£:&
Theo's
:End of recording:
