Twenty years later, Twilight is no longer Celestia's prized pupil. She's just Employee of the Month. Fluttershy's taken on a successful job at a homeless shelter, Rainbow Dash has a [spoiler]job that has to do with flying. You thought there was a spoiler here, huh? Well there isn't. Too bad.[/spoiler] Pinkie Pie is a common street whore, Rarity is broke and homeless, and Applejack doesn't even know what she's doing. Applejack isn't loved by anyone. Applejack is a worthless piece of shit.

This fic was a collaborative joke between a few of my friends. I only beta'd it for them.