Chapters The Standard and Normal Human: One : Meeting T.G.A.P. Trixie
A Strange and Uncertain Arival
The Standard and Normal Human 1
Ok, to start off. Have you ever heard or Marmite? You know, you either love it or hate it right? Well, this rule is applicable to many other things as well. To cut the ‘Middleman’ I’ll explain what I’m getting at. I was Not a fan of Trixie... Yes, I said it! I found her more annoying than any other character in cartoons or animations alike, she was self indulgent, selfish, spoke in the 3rd person which, undoubtedly, ticked me off to extreme limits. She was Boastful and used ‘Show Magic’ whilst saying it was real... (Don’t get me started on magic... Please...) She was a total showoff and... Ugh, you get the idea. To be stuck with her would be hell right? I Have thought this before in the past, but little did I know that my week off from work would turn into the most opinion changing scenario of my life...
Let me begin...
That morning started as most of my weeks off from work do, I would try to sleep in but fail miserably every time. At 7:30 am I’d get up and prepare to do nothing for the next 18 or so hours and then repeat the process throughout the week. In hindsight, I could have done something more productive during this time but alas, the motivation was non existent to do such things. I almost decided to do some more writing on my MLP series but again, the motivation wasn’t there. I would be like this every time I had a holiday, I would do nothing but a bit of housework and generally laze around. My life isn’t that spectacular I’m afraid and to be honest I’m kind of glad...
Unknowing to me however, something was brewing. Something somewhere, someplace, was getting ready to invade my life. The doorbell rang and low and behold, my fears had been recognized...
It was the milkman, what? Did you think something was going to happen? It did and will so hold on to your plots good colts and silly fillies, because that is coming up...
“Morning!” Frank the milkman said with a cheery voice, “You’re up early!” He stood looking through the doorway and was witness to me, a 20 year old who looked like death. With a dissatisfied look on my face and lack of enthusiasm in my voice, I slowly complied what he had said and was preparing a response. Oh social skills, where art thou?
“...Your one to talk” I muttered back with a sincere amount of apathy, “I’m used to getting up so it's natural for me to do so...” Getting up early is part of my job, although not at ‘Stupid O’Clock’, by this I mean not before 6 am. You wouldn’t like me before 6 am...
“Same as me then! So, how have you been?” Frank the Persistent asked, “I’ve been doing Great!” I swear he was doing this on purpose, didn’t he have more milk to deliver?!
“... Yeah I’m fine... Do you have my milk?” I asked bluntly, “We go through this ‘Every Time’, why are you so damned happy?”
“Why not my boy?!” Stated Frank, “It's not all doom and gloom you know! We need to accept things and people as they are or no one is getting anywhere in this world!” He eventually passed the milk to me and did so with a smile, “Besides, you're usually quite happy yourself...”
“... This is True, however it feels like I’ve been doing the same crap every time I get time off work... It's counter productive, which generally makes me restless and overall puts be in set mood”. Reaching for the milk and grasping the bottles with my hand, I then set them down on the kitchen top. “... But you're right, it’s not all doom and gloom”. I forced a smile out one way or another, “Thanks, I’ll see you next week Frank!”
“See you later Nick!” Frank The milkman said, he then walked away and continued his rounds.
I closed the door and reminded myself of the one thing he said that stood out, ‘We need to accept things and people as they are’. “...There is one exception for that statement” I muttered to myself, as I put the milk away and continued my day as usual...
Meanwhile, unknown to me, in another world... In the Town of Appleloosa, stood a stage fitted with lights and curtains of all shapes, sizes and colours. Ponies, Unicorns and Pegasus alike, all gathered around to witness the majesty of this event. Unknowing to them, it would be a grand disappointment. The main curtain fell and there stood a Unicorn with a light blue mane and a slightly deeper blue fur coat. She wore a tall hat and cape, both decorated with large stars limited of colour they ranged from. Fireworks fired from the center of the stage and the audience was in awe, smoke suddenly filled the stage and, as it cleared, stood the presence of a certain show pony. One with a few tricks up her... Um... I wanted to say sleeves but I think you get the gist of what I’m trying to say... With a loud and demanding voice, she demanded attention on herself... In the third person of course...
“Tremble at the might of the Great and Powerful Trixie!” She Bellowed in her self indulgent ways, some of the crowd however walked away, as if they had seen her before. Trixie then continued to do several tricks, such as making a rope act like a snake, making rabbits appear out of hats... Oh please stop! Its too mind blowing, like one of Twi’s lectures... Ugh... ‘That’ kind of magic, if you know me then you know how I feel about that subject. So anyway, she was barely halfway into her performance and pretty much every pony had left before she had time for the finale. Trixie looked around and seethed, why weren't they watching her? Perhaps they had better things to do? No, she knew why... No one liked her performance... As heartbreaking for her as it was she knew she failed at entertaining them, just like before. Word spreads fast you see? When the ponies outside of Ponyville heard about her lies, they turned a cold shoulder and carried on with their own business.
The last thing people, such as myself, remember from that episode, or even if you're a pony for that matter, is that she runs off into the distance... Now, what you didn’t know was that she was heading somewhere specific. Canterlot to be precise, you remember when Twi went all ‘Metal Gear’ right? Well she did the same thing, she ‘Sweet Talked’ the guards into giving her a tour around the same archives Twi was snooping around, there was a certain chamber inside which kept all the forbidden and dangerous spells. For obvious reason, they were kept silent and out of sight and reach, It was a hidden room, one of which she knew about. How and Why I shall explain another time, it will make more sense when I get to it anyway. Trixie put the guard to sleep with a hypnosis spell, a basic one at that, and then she carefully pulled a book from one of the shelves revealing the hidden staircase below. At the bottom of this was an almost empty room, there stood a bookcase, several in fact. However, they were shielded by a barrier of sorts, its sole purpose is to keep things out. It uses a High level magic, meaning that powerful beings aren't capable of getting the items on the inside. Now I’m not a magic expert but I have learnt a couple of things about this kind of barrier during my time there, as well as knowing about all this when I wasn’t there to witness it...
You see, the barrier pushes out powerful magic, but lets in less powerful magic. It's also important to note that physical beings cannot enter or pass this barrier, so to most it seems impossible to get past right? The whole concept of an underpowered magic user capable of getting into this archive in the first place, which is heavily guarded by the way, is impossible and ridiculous right? As I learnt the hard way, that was the wrong way to think... Trixie had her way of getting around this barrier, Using her low level magic, by controlling a rope... Woo... She was able to get past the magical barrier which shielded all the hidden secrets of this magic and pony filled world. As she was doing this, a guard spotted her and her cover was blown, in a quick panic she grabbed the one thing that stood out from the rest. It was a parchment on what looked like a pedestal, using her rope she grabbed it and bolted from the archives to freedom, using her spells of sleep and smoke to distract the guards, long enough to get the heck out of there. After that? Well, she went back to what she did best.
Anyways, back to Appleloosa. Realising her failure to impress the ponies of this town, she decided to pull out the big guns. Heading backstage, she opened a trunk, or chest, underneath the bottom panel was a hidden compartment. Pulling a rope, she unlocked it revealing the parchment she stole. Stealing is wrong kids, it's always wrong. When ‘The Big Cheese’ found out it got a tad uncomfortable for me. But spoilers can wait I think, at least until ‘The Magic Happens!’.
“If these simpletons want magic... I’ll show them magic!” The Great and Powerful Trixie stated, she stared deeply at the parchment, trying to make sense of it. The thing about these powerful spells is that you have to speak out loud to use them, perfect for little miss ‘Third Person’ then right? It was a mouthful at best, she practiced behind the stage, in a quiet voice, before coming out and doing it for real. You need to shout for it to work, powerful magic is dangerous, unstable and extremely random. So if someone was casting set spell, you’d hear it being channelled and casted miles away... It was written in a strange manner...
Summoning a creature from another realm! The Silly Filly Reference Guide!
(To begin, Say all of the context below Out Loud! You must fill in the gaps as you shout this incantation...)
Compute, Confirm World Analysis. (Wait for sound)Summon Translocation, Residing From, Earth, Human. 20’s, (Need Coordinates for North and East. In form of Numbers)Destination for Translocation (Your Location or Desired Destination for Translocated Being)
(Then wait for a portal to appear and let chaos Ensue!)
Signed By D
That last part? Yeah, she didn’t pay any attention to it. All she read was “How” to do it, you know how teachers used to tell you to read the questions all the way through on an exam paper before starting? That was one of ‘Those’ moments, guess she never got that hoof note...
Anyway, that’s what it said, whoever created this must have known a lot about our world, latitude, longitude? That’s Geometry! (I think :S) In any case she looked at it a little longer, “Numbers?” She said, “How hard can it be?” Unfortunately, her idea was the basic one, just randomly blurt out numbers and it will work out right? Yeah... She never did see the big picture... She appeared from backstage and prepared herself for this astounding spell to work its magic, as she did she began shouting more nonsense about how great and powerful she was... Figures huh?
“Cower in Fear Lesser Ponies! As I Summon a Being from another Realm!” Trixie bellowed from her Stage, Now that got their attention, they slowly gathered around and wondered what she was blathering about.
“What? It Can’t be Done!” One of the Colts shouted.
“What is she yelling about now?” A filly asked in confusion.
All looking in with curiosity as she began the incantation...
“Compute!, Confirm World Analysis!” She Began, Silence filled the air... Nothing was happening, everypony looked in disappointment.
“She’s making more stuff up again, let's go everypony...” Another colt shouted, However as they were all about to disperse... They froze in their hoof steps when they heard a sudden voice...
“CONFIRMED!” The parchment announced loudly, at this point in time, it was floating all by itself. All the towns folk stopped dead in their tracks, frozen in place in both amazement and shock.
Trixie carried on with the summoning, “Summon Translocation! Residing From! Earth! Human...” She noticed the number and it was the only one shown on the whole parchment, it was strangely precise “20?”
Now at this point she didn’t know what to say, it asked for numbers right? So what did she do? “53 point 2600° North!” She blurted the coordinates out randomly without a second thought, “0 Point 1800° East!” With the hard part done, the Sky suddenly became grey and cloudy, thunder, lightning and rain all happened in synchronisation, by that I mean they all started at the same time. “Destination for Translocation! Appleloosa! Center Stage of The Great and Powerful Trixie’s travelling show pony... Show!” And with that said, it happened...
The Wind picked up and the sound of tearing could be heard, it was tearing its way into my world. It appeared as a portal hovering in mid air. If you’ve seen or played portal then I’ll leave what it looked like to you, it was quite straightforward really... The problem was that it was above the stage, quite high up to be precise...
Meanwhile, Back in my world...
Loud music was playing from my speakers, I couldn’t hear a thing. I was preparing to go out, I had all my usual gear on, dark jeans, red and black Airwalk shoes, black shirt, red tie and my swag hat. I was going to stay with an old friend for a while, I had a bag of extra clothes and all the things I’d usually take for a old fashioned sleepover, did that a lot as a kid... It was for the sake of reminiscing, we’d known each other for a long time. I turned my computer off and I was about ready to leave when I thought to myself, ‘I’d better take a jacket just in case...’ I Walked back through the hallway and opened the coat cupboard, to my surprise my jacket wasn’t where it usually was. I keep it at the front, instead, it was buried at the back for some reason. After removing all the other coats from the wall, by throwing them onto floor, I found my jacket and proceeded to put it on... And then found something abnormal hiding in the back...
“What.. The... Hell?!” I Stuttered as I saw a purplish circle on the wall, it was the strangest thing I had seen before. “Who painted that there?” To me, it looked like a normal purple circle, nothing special about it. Although it shined brightly... and looked as if it was moving... ‘Optical illusion I guess?’ Was what I thought, “Weird...” I reached out to touch it and realised that wasn’t such a good idea, my hand went through and, for whatever reason, I couldn’t pull it back out. “What the-?!” I shouted, as it slowly dragged me into the deep unknowing abyss that awaited me...
I fell from the portal, “-Hell!?” I shouted as I finished my sentence in mid air and proceeded to fall flat onto my back, winding me quite painfully. “Oh... God My... Everything!” I Whined as I struggled to get to my knees, I looked at the ground and saw sturdy wooden panels. Upon further observation I could see that it was a stage, I could see a curtain and decorations, it was a pretty sweet setup.
Then I looked up and around, the townsfolk were staring at me. Attempting to keep my cool and decided to break the silence. “Um, Hi?”. I muttered, with that they started screaming, all running everywhere, scared senseless. “Oh... How kind of you! No I’m fine, Really!” I was more annoyed that basic communication wasn’t going to happen, then again they didn’t know who or what I was so I guess that was understandable.
I face planted and sat my backside back onto the wooden floor, “Where the heck am I?” I knew the world I was in, just not the location in set world.
“You’re in Equestria, in the town of Appleloosa!” A familiar but informative voice said. ‘Oh Dear god please don’t be who I think you are...’ I thought to myself, I got up and turned around and lo and behold it was, The Great and Powerful Trixie. “I s-summoned you here a-and that's makes you m-my pet!” She was stuttering, I think she was trying to keep appearances up, she was shaking so I figured she was as terrified as me.
“Appleloosa huh?... Wait, Pet?!” I was trying to take everything in and I managed to hear half the conversation, like most people and ponies alike, I don’t like being referred to as property, or as a pet for that matter. I stood closer and got down to ‘Eye Level’ with the very same pony who would even consider calling me such things. “Excuse me? I’ve been here less than 5 minutes and You’re trying to claim Me as a Pet!?”
“Well... I did summon you here, so you have better be gra-” Trixie was about to be all coy and make it seem like it was all ok, all ‘HunkyDory’... Well it Really wasn’t...
“You What?!” I bellowed in anger and surprise, I never expected her to be able to do such a thing... “Send me back right now!” Most people would find it amazing to be in the MLP world, I probably would too if I gave it a chance. However, I’m not a fan of magic. Magic is that thing your parents told you about as a kid, how wonderful it was and how it made your life better. The Tooth Fairy? Santa Claus? They were magic apparently, then when you grew up, what did you learn?! It was all a bunch of lies and nonsense we believed because we were gullible children, Fact! Well, I know there’s more to it than that but that’s how it felt for me...
The townsfolk had been peeping through their doors to try and figure out what was going on, some came outside but kept their distance from the stage in question.
I took a few steps closer to Trixie, I was quite distressed. Being Dragged and Dropped into another world like a desktop icon wasn’t fun, there wasn’t an undo button as far as I could see. “You just dragged me from my home Trixie! And now you're claiming me for yourself! I’m not from here! You have to send me back!”
“What? Why in Equestria would I do that?!” Trixie put blankly, “Wait, how do you know my name?”
Crap... I slipped up on that one... Should I have kept quiet and kept to important details only? It didn’t matter, my eyes Desperately darted around for some kind of escape from this situation, luckily, in big bold letters, it shone right in front of me, Centre stage! “It... Says right there” I pointed, “The Great and Powerful Trixie’, from the looks of it your what? A Magician?”.
“Hardly!” She said with disgust, “I am the Great and Powerful Trixie! I am not simply a Magician!”
“You don’t say... So, what would You call Yourself?” I asked the self indulged filly, “...More importantly, why are you talking in the third person?”
“Because Trixie can and shall!” She announced to everyone, “ And I call myself Great and Powerful because I am!”
“...Riiiiiiight...” I replied unconvinced, “So tell me, what other ‘Amazing’ things can you do?”
“I can manipulate ropes to act as my snakes, Disappear into a cloud of smoke and fill the sky with light!” She made seem amazing when she said it, however I was unconvinced...
“...Uh huh... So, smoke bombs and fireworks right?” I put blandly, “I’m Not gonna even start saying how un amazing rope tricks are...”
“You Dare make a mockery of me?!” Trixie bellowed from the bottom of her lungs, “I Brought you hear so that only proves how powerful I truly am!”
“Oh Really!?” I snapped back at her, “So tell me, with one as ‘Powerful’ as yourself who was able to bring me from another world, why do you have such basic abilities?!” It didn’t make sense to me at the time, she knows so little magic I couldn’t even call it magic, having said that I have a problem with that word in general so I’ll leave it at that. “And now you were able to summon me here through some kind of magic spell, obviously I’m missing something here. Either you're telling the truth and you know a lot more magic than you’re letting on, Or, and this is the more realistic scenario, you managed to somehow get your hands... Er, Hoofs, on something that allowed you to do what you did! How’s that? I hit the nail on the head?!”
What started as a small argument had escalated into something completely different, my presence was now notably noticed by the entire town... I was paying attention to Trixie and not my surroundings, I turned around and they were all staring at me, every single one of them. Again, to those who don’t know me or haven't read the other things I’ve written, I’ll keep this brief. I’m a nervous wreck when it comes to large crowds of people, throw in a healthy dose of ‘Equestria’ and ‘Staring Ponies’ and you get me, a red faced buffoon, incapable of basic communication due to being tongue tied and making no sense what so ever.
Take two, action! “Um, Hi?” I repeated myself from earlier, “And before you all run and scream away leaving me in complete confusion, I can... Ugh, can I at least introduce myself?” I slowly walked up to the stage, the ponies backed away from me. I sighed and could feel myself shaking in my boots for what I was about to do, if they had any then I guess they’d do the same? They needed to know I wasn’t a threat right? I mean that was the problem before... I think. Whatever, I stopped at the edge of the stage and then tipped my hat and bowed. “My name is Nicholas, However, just call me Nick please, it's much less formal as well as a lot shorter”.
‘Introduction huh?’ I thought to myself, ‘Perhaps I need to explain what I am for a start...’ This was where my confidence kicked in, all that time I had been telling myself how bad I am around people made me realise, these weren't people. Now before you say anything I don’t mean that in the harsh or vindictive way, I mean that their ponies, much more accepting and open to magical ordeals as such. So I could explain myself to them, and yet still feel comfortable whilst being reassured that they could take what was happening with a pinch of salt.
“I... am not from this world, I must seem like a strange being to all of you. To be honest I didn’t have any choice in coming here, I was actually off to see an old friend of mine. Next thing I know, I’m falling and landing flat on my back, wondering why ‘Y’all’ were screaming and running away after I said Hi...” I stopped and collected my thoughts, “Wait, why did you all run away?”
Silence filled the air once again, Trixie just stared at me in awe as I began asking such questions, so casually as well.
Eventually one of the towns folk spoke up, “We didn’t know if Y’all were hostile or not!”
“Y-Yeah!” Another one replied hastily, “How were we supposed to know?! We’ve never seen a creature like y’all before!”
I laughed and sat back down on the wooden floor, “Y’all could have asked you know” I said cheerily with a smile.
“So who are you then?” Trixie asked, “Do you yourself have a title?” A title? Well... my reaction would serve as payback for all those times I’ve heard her talk about herself in our world, it would be sarcastic and totally an inside joke...
I didn’t turn around to answer her, as it required effort. I just stood there and announced myself In the royal Canterlot voice! “I am Nicholas! The Standard and Normal Human! I’ve got Two arms, Two legs, opposable thumbs and a sense of humour to boot!”, I got a laugh from a few of them, if I had closed my eyes at that moment, I would have thought I was a comedian... ‘And let me tell ya, the hay tastes Hayrific!’ (That's why I keep jokes to a minimum... Yep, I Suck :D)
I turned back to Trixie, staring at me in awe. “H-How?” She began to display her disbelief, “Y-You just- How can you be so calm!? You was upset and angry no less than 10 minutes ago!”
“Its called ‘Adapting’ Trixie...” I said smugly, however she truly looked surprised so I tried to show her how I really felt. “Ugh, Look, see my hands?” I held out my arms and she came closer to me to inspect, they were shaking, trembling. “You think I can deal with it so easily? I’m trying but I’m still as paranoid and as worried as ever, this sort of thing doesn't happen to me every day you know... But I have to roll with the punches...”
I looked around and thought to myself, ‘I need to get to Canterlot, this is just getting too far fetched for me... Celestia must know about this kind of spell, its my best bet to get out of here... But I need to do it without sounding like I know about this world... Hmm...’
After a couple of seconds pondering, I had an idea... “So... Who’s the ruler of these lands then? Where can I find them?” I said out loud, hoping someone would answer.
Sure enough after a few seconds, a kind colt answered my question. “The rulers of Equestria are the Princesses, Celestia and Luna. They reside in Canterlot...”
“And how would I get there?” I asked the colt, “Is it far away?”
“You would need to catch the train to Ponyville” An older colt stated. “Then from there you would have to walk to Canterlot... You know what a train is right kid?”
I nodded in confirmation, “Yeah, we have them in our world too...” Just saying that made them ‘Woo’ and ‘Awe’ in wonder, it wasn’t that surprising was it? Then again, I knew about their world, but they didn’t know about mine... It made sense... “Well... it's been fun, I’m out of here... Thank you and good night!” I jumped off the stage and made my way through the crowd which seemed to disperse away from me. Just as I began to wander towards the train station, which was in sight by the way...
“Y-You can’t just leave! Trixie demands that you become her pet!” She shouted, big mistake as it would turn out for herself.
I stopped in my boots and turned around, I was getting tired of her attitude. “Um, Excuse me? We’ve already had this conversation, I’m done being treated like some kind of object you keep around for laughs and giggles...” I turned back and carried on walking onwards to the train station, I raised my hand and waved it as I walked away, I wasn’t in a good mood. “I’ll see you never again Miss Trix The Lame and Helpless Show pON-!” I suddenly felt my feet being grabbed and constricted by something and then flung into the air, hanging upside down like a cheap Christmas light.
She used her glowing horn, powered with magic, to control the rope and bound my feet so I couldn’t escape, Now I’m not a fan of heights, and 3 meters isn’t exactly very high at all, but when you're hanging in mid air with your head being the closest to the ground, it tends to make you nervous, “W-What are you Doing?!”
“Trixie is ‘Lame and Helpless’ now huh?” She smirked, “Now who’s Lame and Helpless, impudent Human!”.
“S-Stop Talking in the T-Third Person!” I stuttered, as the blood went rushing to my head. “It’s more annoying than you’re L-Lame magic tricks!” Saying this? Was a mistake, as she launched me further into the air by another 3 meters.
“How Dare You!”, Trixie screamed, I think I hit a nerve... Again... “You Dare make a mockery of me!?” She was seething, I really ticked her off...
“Y-Yes I Do! Y-You Darned ‘One’ trick Pony!” I Bellowed, I was getting dizzy at this point, so I didn’t know when to stop. I was angry, she was angry, the towns folk just watched in shock. “No one cares about your Stupid Side Show!”
An Awkward silence filled the air yet again, I looked at Trixie and saw something I never thought I’d see, it was a tear. Her horn flickered and eventually turned dull, I knew what would happen shortly. As she started to cry, her magic got weaker and weaker, eventually it would seize to work. I quickly swayed myself back and forth so that I’d fall onto my back, head first could have been fatal. The second her horn went out completely I had began to descend towards the ground, this time a lot higher than the portal had dropped me. I slammed into the desert floor and struggled to breathe or move, I started coughing and tried desperately to get to one side. This time I was helped to my feet by two colts who could see I was in pain, one looked like a farmer, brown coat and a straw hat covering his eyes, his Cutie mark in the shape of a cob of Corn. Another was dressed as a train conductor, I won’t describe what he looked like because you probably already have a good idea of that anyway, it's self explanatory if you’ve seen them dressed as such, he had a light brown fur coat and deep blue eyes. I stumbled to my feet and saw Trixie crying on the floor, now no matter how much you dislike someone, seeing them like that doesn't feel good. No one should feel like that, not even someone as annoying as her. I looked in pity as she ran backstage to carry on sobbing to herself, I face planted, I felt like a total smeghead. After a sigh I looked around at the townspeople, they looked at both of us in confusion and sympathy. Some were siding with me, others were siding with Trixie.
Eventually one of the colts who helped me up raised his concern, “Are you alright human? That was quite the fall...”
I coughed lightly before responding in a depressed tone of voice, “Um, yeah...” I felt bad, really bad. She did act like a total foal towards me but still, words can be as sharp as swords, I think I may have cut her pretty deep. “... Why the heck did I say that to her?!”
“You were angry and she was being unfair” The Conductor pony responded with a gravely voice, “But what you said was pretty harsh, even if it was true it was how you said it”. He was right, I was out of line.
The conducting pony looked at me with understanding and comfort, I think, for whatever reason, he knew how I was feeling. He didn’t sound like he was from around Appleloosa, he sounded more like he was from the city. “Look kid, the next train leaves in 10 minutes, I can get you to Ponyville in no time. My guess is you just want to get back to your world as fast as possible right?” I nodded, I agreed... Or so I thought...
He led me to the train platform and I took a seat on one of the benches, I sat there for a good 10 maybe 20 minutes just thinking to myself... The conductor was sat next to me, he was staring at me for quite a while... When the train arrived he immediately went to the drivers section of the train, Yes I just said that. I don’t know anything about trains. As ponies started getting off at their stop, they saw me and bolted, screaming like all the rest did when I arrived. In the distance however, I heard a couple of the towns folk talking to the same ponies that just ran away from me, explaining what was going on. I looked back at the stage, Trixie wasn’t in sight. She was still in the back, sobbing her eyes out. What could I do now to possibly make her feel better? What amazed me was that I knew next to nothing about her, so how could I make such a statement? Just because I’ve seen the show? That One episode? No, I knew nothing about her life... Nothing relevant what so ever...
The conductor came out of the train and started walking towards me, “Its ok kid, you can take a seat now” The conductor said to me, I wasn’t paying attention. He saw where I was looking and gave a loud sigh, “Ugh... Listen kid, have you ever done something in life you regretted?”
“...Oh I can think of many things, I still regret them to this day...” I muttered, I didn’t know where this was heading at the time. “What about you?”
“Oh we all have kid” He informed me, calling me kid again... ‘I’m 20 damn it’, is what I wanted to say but I kept quiet, I was deep in thought. “If you left now, what would you regret most?”
I stopped thinking and looked at the train, then back again to where Trixie was. “...I guess I would regret making her cry... and not making it up to her for saying such things when I know nothing about her...”
Pondering to myself for a couple of moments, I knew what I had to do, but I had a time limit to do so. Today was Monday, I had a week off from work so I had roughly 5 or 6 days, Sunday, the 7th day, I would need to get back home to my world and sort out my clothes for work. I kind of guessed that Celestia knew about this spell, it was my best guess and best bet.
I turned back to the conductor, smiled and patted him on the head. “Thanks buddy, I think that helped me clear my head to make the right decision”. He flinched when I touched his hat, don’t think he expected that. “Oh and by the way, I’m not a kid. I’m 20 years old”
“You're How old!?” He replied in surprise, “I apologise young colt... Er, human”
“No worries, I think the name ‘Kid’ has kind of stuck now” I laughed back, “What's your name by the way?” I had been talking to him for a while and yet I never knew who he was, so I would finally find out who had helped me mull things over in my head.
“The name’s Steam Trail, Its pleasure to meet you Nick”. He answered with a smile, “Whenever you need to get to Canterlot, or just need to use the trains, just say the word and I’ll help ya out”.
“Much appreciated Tray” I thanked him and began walking towards the stage, “Stay safe dude!”
I walked into the distance and could hear Him in the distance, trying to figure out what i just said. “Tray?... Dude?”. Now I needed to apologise to Trixie, we were both acting stupid. She was attempting to make me a slave without fully understanding the situation, as for me? I verbally slandered both herself and her hobby, it was out of order. As I got closer to the stage I noticed that there was a couple of ponies just outside, looked like they were guarding the backroom. I would need to talk to them before talking to Trix, I eventually arrived and jumped up onto the stage and made my way backstage, I could hear her sobbing still...
But as I approached the curtain, “What are you doing human!?” The Ponies closed in on my position, to my surprise it was Lyra and Bonbon.“The poor filly wants to be alone!” Bonbon Insisted, “I came here to apo-” I began but alas I was interrupted.
“To taunt her some more huh? Get out of here!” Lyra shouted, “She doesn’t want to see you! Go away”.
“Ugh, Would you listen to me please?!” I tried to reason with them, “I came to apologise!”
“Oh... Really?” Lyra replied, slightly stunned, “... And here I thought you were a big meanie” They both looked confused, didn’t expect that I guess. I do remember seeing them amongst the crowd when I arrived, in the background as usual.
“You kidding? I felt Terrible after that ordeal, I want to make it up to her!” I stated as clearly as possible, “Although I don’t even know how I’ll start doing that...” I sat down on the spot and began to think to myself, ‘What could I do to make it all better?... She likes performing in front of crowds, performing tricks, being the center of attention, showing everypony something they have never seen before’. Then, like a steam train, it hit me. I was something truly strange and abnormal in this world, to a certain show pony, I could be an amazing attraction... As I was doing this Lyra and Bonbon just stared at me, like I was crazy. Eventually I stood up, I knew what to do... “Ok, I have an idea, can I just talk to her... please?” They nodded and let me proceed, carefully watching me from a distance.
I approached the stars changing room, yes, the stage had one built into it. The door was tiny compared to human doors, then again the average height of a pony was just up to my waist. I think I’m 5 foot 9... I knocked on the door and got no answer, this wasn’t going to be easy, for both me and Trixie. Tensions were already high, so I had to cling back some trust. I leant up against the door and started talking through it, “Trixie, its Nick”, I began, I could hear the sobbing had stopped. “What I said was out of line, no matter what the circumstances were it was wrong to say such things about something you enjoy doing, I’m sorry...”.
I could hear movement on the other side of the door, perhaps she heard me? “And I’m sorry I tried to imprison you... Human” She said, still sniffing her worries away. I thought perhaps she’d try to gain control of the situation her way but alas, she had changed. “It was wrong of Trix- I mean me, to try and manipulate you to my advantage, I made you angry and caused this to happen...”
“But I shouldn’t have said what I did to begin with, I’m usually cool headed... Could you forgive me for acting so foalish?” I swear this world was getting to me, but using their words just sounded so wrong to me... There was a silence, and I was still leaning on the door. “Look, I can understand if you won’t forgive m-E!” The door flung open and I went flying into the stars room, past her, and straight onto the floor.
“Ah!” Trixie screamed in surprise, “Oh my! A-are you ok?” Her eyes were red and watery, clearly she took this extremely hard which, in turn, made me feel even worse.
“Ugh, just peachy...” I moaned as I clambered to my feet, seriously, how many times could I fall over in one day? “Look, I’m sorry... and I want to make it up to you... But first...”
I got down to her level and she gave me a confused look, “But I have to make it up to you as well!” She proclaimed, “How could you forgive me so easily for something like tha-?”
I reached out and gave her a good old hug, I’m pretty good at those. I’ve had a lot of practice when cheering my family up, “All is forgiven” I said with a chuckle, I felt a tear land on my shoulder. “Oh c’mon, you start that and I’m sure to follow...”
We sat there for a good five minutes through the silence as she cried on my shoulder, it made me realise something. Perhaps all it took was for someone to challenge her so that she could think about her own actions, that's what happened in Ponyville right? Furthermore, for someone to take the time to try and understand her, or to give her a chance, so her true self could be visible to the human, and pony, eye? Well, I think so anyway. I could see Lyra and Bonbon from the corner of my eye, watching me. Why is it that they are always in the background? I think they were getting just a bit teary eyed themselves, I could hear sniffing and then the shuffling as they disbanded and exited... Stage left...
I loosened my hold and looked her in the face, “All better?” I asked with a smile, I think she needed to get it out of her system.
“...I guess so...” She began, “...You are the strangest being I have ever met... And I’m sorry for what I tried to do...”
“Like I said, all is forgiven. Besides, I know how I can help you out...” I stood up and walked into the distance, then with a whip like action I turned back around to face her and proposed my idea. “I’m gonna be your sidekick!”
“What?!” She shouted, completely thrown off with this idea. “B-but I thought you wanted to get home?!”
“That can wait” I responded, “I’ve got at least 5 days before I have to get to Canterlot, find Celestia, and then ask her to send me home... Wait, how did you know a spell to bring me here anyway?”
“Well...”
She explained it all, everything! The sneaking in, distracting the guards, grabbing the spell, eluding the guards... it was... Pretty darned impressive for her to do that! Yes I lectured her on ‘Stealing’ But she said it would prove everyone how impressive she was, It made sense coming from her. After that long talk of adventuring and wonder, we got back to talking about how I could be helpful to her and the show... I was quizzed about the abilities of humans, and if I possessed any magical attributes whatsoever. I then had to explain the lack of Magical-ness of the humans ‘AND’ the human world, this was something that I didn’t complain about by the way. So finding something I could do that would help with the show would be tricky... Except that I’m a creature no one has seen before in this world. So I was at a major advantage, just walking on the stage I could easily make heads turn and, if possible, help with Trixie’s routine in some way, perhaps I could help her learn a few new ones? Like I said before, I’m not a fan of magic and I wasn't back then either, however if it could help her, which it did, then I was up for it... That was the plan I stuck with, I was going to help her to become the true Trixie she was supposed to be, right after I explained to her to stop announcing herself in the third person... That was the first step to this quest...
Five days was the time limit, back then I wasn’t sure if I was going to manage it... But I threw caution to the wind and just rolled with it, we then headed outside. To everyone's surprise, we were getting along and clearing up the stage together. It was kind of weird how it worked, it folded away into the wagon it was build into. She had made a few improvements since the last time I saw it, it was bigger and more complex than I could have imagined. When all of this was done, we headed out onto the next town. Before we left however, I jumped through the side window and stowed away in the back amongst all the props, scenery, decorations and staging, away from prying eyes. I used my bag of clothes as a pillow and made myself comfortable. Our journey had begun and we were already a good 10 minutes into the trip, I was beginning to nod off to sleep quite peacefully. Using her magic, she lifted the front of the carriage and turned the wheels so we went forward. Now that was pretty cool, she had been practicing her own moves off the stage it would seem. I wasn’t sure where we were headed but I figured she knew where to go next, as the sandman closed in on me, I swear I could hear the quiet whispers from a certain show pony...
“Thank You...” She whispered, as we set off for the next town, Dodge Junction...
The Standard and Normal Human: One : Meeting T.G.A.P. Trixie
An Interesting and Eventful Morning
The Standard and Normal Human 2
After we headed out of Appleloosa, we travelled on the dusty roads following old signs to our next destination, Dodge Junction. This however, would turn out to be quite a long trip. Now for the sake of consistency, I have left out minor details in the story and they are as follows.
Bathroom breaks, you don’t really want to know about this now do you?
Sitting in the back of the wagon doing Nothing !
Seriously, this would be quite pointless and it would ruin the flow of the story I am recollecting.
Anyway, after hours of travel it began to turn dark, I had absolutely no idea where we were at the time. “We’ll stop here” Trixie announced suddenly, stopping the wagon the second she said it. All she could hear behind her was a thud, then shortly after that a certain human moaning.
“Ach! My-” I shouted in pain as I was laying on the floor. When she stopped the wagon suddenly, I had just decided to get up and stretch my legs. The sudden stop caused me to fall flat on my face, meaning I had just whacked my nose on the wooden floor. “Ugh, can you give me a heads up Before you do that please...”
“Oh, um, sorry?” Trixie answered, sounding unsure as to what had just happened in the back. “I’ve decided we’re stopping for the night right here!”
I clambered to my feet and made my way to the front of the wagon, a small door was in between the where I was and wanted to be, I opened it and clambered through it to the front of the wagon where Trixie was. I was pinching my nose in pain, trying to stop it from bleeding.
Trixie took one look at me and looked quite distressed, “ Oh my! How in Equestria did you do that?”
“Oh I don’t know” I began to say sarcastically, “It could have been a dragon, or it might have been the second you stopped the wagon... Which sounds more likely?”
“...Oh... So that’s why you asked me to give you a ‘heads up’, sorry about that...” She replied, smiling to look just a little more innocent.
I’m too much of a nice person sometimes, I saw that face of hers and I couldn’t find it in myself to hold it against her. “Ugh, it’s fine...” I stopped moaning about my nose and eventually looked around at our immediate surroundings, in the distance was a canyon which was where we were eventually going to head through. Where we were that very moment however was in a desert next to an oasis, which was pretty useful because I could at least clean myself up. “Right, I’ll be back to help out with the camp in a moment...” I jumped down from the wagon onto the rocky and sand filled ground, then made my way to the Oasis.
It was a short walk, I could see cactuses and heaps of sand everywhere. Ever tried describing a desert? Its not so easy when its looks so simple, the oasis was nice at least. It had its own coconut tree hanging over the pool providing some shade, it was a typical style setting which we’ve all seen at least once somewhere. When I arrived I realised that using this fresh, clean water to clean myself up would turn it bloody and dark. I settled for a leaf from the tree and allowed the oasis to glisten as it was doing, it was calm and peaceful... For a while at least...
“Nick!” Trixie barked, I turned around and saw her in the distance. “What’s taking so long?”
“I’m just admiring the view, I’ve never been in a desert before!... Or an oasis for that matter!” I shouted back, slowly realising that as the sun was lowering it was getting much cooler, I could see my breath before long and realised why she was shouting for me. “I’m on my way!”
I ran back and could see her struggling with something, it looked like a tent attached to the wagon. Where the stage should be was a pull down style attachment, it reminded me of the tent you would use for camping. ‘It would look like a nice little home by the time we were finished’ I thought, so we got to work. I was using sticks to pin the tent into the ground so that it wouldn’t fly away, Trixie was inside making everything feel like home. By the end it looked pretty good, I made my way inside by carefully going under the tent and into the wagon. To my surprise I had my own bed, well kind of anyway. It was a sleeping bag on the floor, better than nothing right? I basically had the tent and she had her changing room which, as it turned out, was also her own room. Imagine, her own room, in a wagon, with a tent attached. To her? It was home sweet home. As for me? Home-Ception... We both retired for the night and headed for our own rooms, it was ironic really. I hate camping, yet I was doing just fine where I was back then. I got changed into my spare clothes and I began to think of my own world, what I would be doing right that moment and what I’d be doing during the week... Yep, I’d be doing absolutely nothing... I eventually got into the sleeping bag and fell asleep, awaiting the morning suns heat to wake me up...
It turned to morning and I’ll tell you right now, the heat was ridiculous! I clambered out of my sleeping bag and changed into my normal clothes, followed by stretching my arms until they clicked. Then I heard the most distressing and unnerving sound coming from below me, no it wasn’t a creature, it was my stomach. I didn’t eat anything the day before, let alone having breakfast when I woke up. In fact, what on earth do ponies eat? Well their herbivores right? Either that or vegan, I’ve not seen a pony eat anything meat based so I wasn’t so worried about looking like a meal to somepony. Other creatures however I’m still not too sure about, if I had seen a dragon or a lion, what would happen? I hadn’t encountered them yet so I wasn’t very fussed, actually I think I was relieved. That still left me with my immediate problem, what in Equestria could I eat? Did Trixie have a stock of food in her wagon? All these thoughts and questions went through my mind, well until I remembered the coconut tree near the oasis. I immediately slid under the tent and began walking towards the soon to be food source, the heat outside was immense!
I climbed the tree carefully and grabbed a couple of coconuts, then headed back to the wagon. I entered my portable room and stared at them with intent... But I didn’t know how to open them without a machete... “Hmm, I didn’t think that far ahead... Again...” I muttered to myself, now searching for something to smash it open. I did look at some of the props with eager eyes, but I was pretty sure Trixie would beat me to a pulp with the coconuts if I had tried. At this point I wasn’t even sure of what Trixie was doing, my attention was completely fixated on the food I had gathered. I returned outside to find a sharp rock or something to bash it open, I must have wandered around for about 10 minutes looking for a rock when I realised that the oasis probably had some near it. So I ventured back again to the oasis, got a quick drink and then returned to my room with a rock. At this point I was knackered, or tired if you don’t know what that means.
“What in Equestria are you doing?” I heard Trixie say across the room, she was sitting at a dinner table... With a bowl of fruit in front of her, “Did... Did you go out there to get food?”
My stomach churned the moment she uttered those words, staring at the delicious fruit I whimpered, “...maybe” I looked over to a certain cupboard in the corner of the room, it read as clear as day ‘Food’, I was gob smacked that I completely missed it, “... Seriously? Ugh whatever... Time to eat some coconut...”
Trixie just looked at me, then at the bowl of fruit, “But, there’s food right here...”
“I walked through the boiling heat for this meal...” I began, “And i’ll be darned if I’m not going to eat it!”
I bashed the coconut open and, it within minutes, I had eaten the every bit I could. I was starving! I’d never had a coconut fresh before and I implore you to try it, it was delicious! After breakfast, we began packing up the tent and all the other oddities like tableware, bedding and all that kind of stuff. We successfully packed everything away and we were off! I headed into the back to catch the shade, the heat was exhausting. Trixie had a hat on so she wasn’t fussy, she just lifted the wagon and we were off.
I wasn’t sure what to make of the rest of the trip to good old Dodge Junction, I mean I was in the back with very little to do, for around 3 or 4 hours... I did find a ball back there though so it wasn’t all bad, you ever seen ‘Chicken Run?’ Where the main character is in the ‘Box’, she starts throwing the ball against the wall and it comes back towards her, then she rinses and repeats. I did that for what seemed like an eternity, it was pretty quiet except from the silent thud of the ball and the creaky wooden wheels turning. I was quite surprised Trixie wasn’t taking a break or stopping somewhere, it must have been pretty tiring lifting all that stuff and moving it. I wasn’t even sure where we was, I was too lazy to look out the side window to find out... I doubt it would have helped anyway, I didn’t really know the ‘Lay of the Land’, plus I’ve not seen an official map of Equestria so I had no idea about the distance between the towns, city's and landmarks we were passing... I don’t like not knowing where I am, so instead of worrying about something so pointless, I grabbed my bag of clothes and used it as a pillow, I got comfy and then I nodded off... To be quite honest, at this point I was pretty sure that I was either going mad or that this was one heck of a dream. Not to mention that I fell asleep in the so called dream and then started dreaming... Dream-ception?
Anyway, I began dreaming a crazy world where me and Trixie were big shot magicians! Red carpets, ponies from all over Equestria coming to witness the amazing tricks we had in store for them. It jump cut to me doing handstands and then walking on my hands, suddenly, something flings me forward and then backwards... It may have been a dream but that actually happened, I was rudely awakened as I was flung forward onto the floor then back again to the wall I was sitting against, banging my head in the process as the carriage stopped awkwardly at an angle.
“Ach, again seriously?!” I shouted, “Trix? What happened?!” There was no answer, I could hear scurrying outside and the sound of a certain ponies voice being muffled. I knew something was going on...
I Got up from the floor and climbed out the window, it was the first time I had been outside since Appleloosa and it was bright, blinding in fact! The sun decided to shine hang directly over the middle of the canyon we were travelling through, the shade of the orange tinted rocks reminded me of that fake spray tan you can get. Oh I’ve seen people wear that stuff and let me tell you, it's hilarious! I went off on a tangent right? Anyway, there were many rocks which seemed almost as if they were placed as obstacles. I wasn’t sure what was happening but I had a hunch, the floor had paw prints pushed into the dust filled floor, there were two different sizes at least, but at the same time there were three trails. I wasn’t sure of the danger they posed but I wasn’t going unprepared, I jumped back into the carriage and rummaged around for something I could use. I grabbed one of the sticks used to lock the wheels from moving, it wasn’t that big so I could carry it easily, it she was taken away I’d need to sneak In and get her back. I grabbed the ball I was using earlier and took it with me.
“It would make a good distraction...” I muttered to myself...
I returned back outside rather quickly and I looked around my immediate area for signs of Trixie, but I couldn’t see her anywhere... But I could hear movement in the distance, the tracks made it easier to trace their movements too. I followed this winding path for about 5 minutes, until I found a cave, it was quite a big one at that. There was a sign placed outside in the ground, seemed to have been forced through the ground as there were cracks circling around it.
“The Great and Powerful Trixie Demands you release her!” I heard somepony say, ‘Oh I wonder who that could be?’ I thought... Want to play guess who? I bet I’ll win in 10 seconds flat...
“Stop shouting!” A gravely voice said, “We want you to find us gems, you’re going to help us whether you like it or not so stop complaining!”
I felt a surge of deja vu as I swear I’d heard something not too different to this before, eventually my brain finally clicked and It seemed quite obvious who the perpetrators were. “The Diamond Dogs huh?” I said to myself quietly, I looked back at the sign and laughed to myself whilst repeating what it said, “Keep Owt! Oh of course it's them... The spelling is terrible...”
I was about to enter the cave and then had a revelation, when I first arrived in this world I was acting just a bit too... Goofy. I adapted to everything way too fast and didn’t think about how it made me look. Considering these guys were quite dangerous, I’d need to be cautious and think straight... ‘Ok, don’t do anything stupid’ I thought, ‘I don’t want to seem crazy...’
I slowly made my way into the deep cave, it was incredible! The walls were lined with tiny gems of all different colours, if it wasn’t for trying to save Trixie I would have taken a couple as a souvenir. There weren't any guards in sight, so I figured it was just those three dogs in the area... The cave eventually opened up into quite a large dome like structure, prison cells were lining the sides all the way around... It looked pretty grim, I started scanning the area for Trixie's whereabouts. Ironically, her annoying voice of the third person gave her position away... Again...
“Unhand me you disgusting dogs!” She bellowed, her voice echoed throughout the cave.
“Silence I said!” That same gravely voice shouted, “You're ‘Great and Powerful’, with you searching for us we’ll be rich!”
“We sure will boss!” Said a different voice, it sounded a lot deeper and... Fatter...
Why fatter? Why the heck not?! Besides if you saw this dog you would understand why I said it, he was fat... And short.
“And then we can buy loads of food!” The same voice said... Or so I thought.
“Or more signs!” It was the same voice again, ‘Wait, is this guy talking to himself?’ I thought, it was pretty weird.
The two voices argued further and then the ringleader broke the two voices up, “Enough you two! We have important matters to attend to, You! Get to work!”
It was now or never, it was three against one in my mind. Carefully walking closer to the voice, I lurked around the corner and I could see them all clear as day, even though this tunnel was quite large it was still going to be tricky to get Trixie away from them. Oh yeah, it would be a good time to point out that these three were not the same as the ones who took Rarity, same creatures, just based in a different location. I was getting ever closer to the small group by carefully keeping to the wall. Unfortunately, I wasn’t watching my foot work and so I snagged a pickaxe, it hit the ground with a thud...
“Ach crap!” I whispered, unfortunately my voice decided to echo as well thus ruining the stealth element I was going for. So I decided a different approach was necessary, “Oooooooo I’m a Ghost! I’m gonna haunt you Ohhhhhhhh”
You remember I said about not doing anything stupid or careless? Well, I really couldn’t be bothered with that plan at this point. I mean these aren't very friendly or socialistic creatures, so I didn’t have to worry much about them spreading rumours about me, anypony would more than likely run in fear of them anyway... Not that they would even attempt to tell others about me but still, you get what I mean.
“Who’s there?!” The Ringleader shouted, “Rex, Ken, go find our... Guest...”
“Sure thing boss!” The Twins said at exactly the same time, I’m not joking either, they were identical down to the bone.
Imagine if you will a sausage dog, now make it slightly shorter and fatter. Then make it stand on its hind legs, now give it a dark blue coat of fur and brown eyes. Then there’s the leader, pure white fur, think of a mini Sasquatch except a lot thinner and bonnier, with a scar on the left side of his face going across his eye and a red hat of some kind, it was clear he was in charge. I realised it was only a matter of time before I was found out, so dropped the stick on the floor and hid the ball behind my back. I don’t think I even described the ball did I? Its just a red ball with bits of glitter in it to make it more eye catching, nothing special.
I slowly walked around the corner with my hands behind my head, “Ok, you found me...” I said to them, they just stared at me weirdly for a moment trying to figure out what on Equestria I was. “W-what? Is something on my face?”
“Is... Is that a dog?” Ken barked, he walked over to me and circled me... Then started sniffing me, “Nope, he can’t be...”
“Then what is he?” Rex asked, also starting to circle me in the opposite direction. They were still circling me, they eventually bumped into each other due to their attention being elsewhere.
The ringleader wasn’t interested in what I was, he was only concerned with one thing... “What are you here for?” He shouted across the room, seething at me. Clearly I was making him feel uncomfortable, “This is Our Territory!”
“Oh I didn’t mean to intrude...” I began, “...Until you kidnapped Miss Trixie over there, I suggest you give her back...”
“Ha ha! Or What!?” The Leader snarled at me, I was hoping he would just give her back but alas, it wasn’t happening...
I replied using one of my favourite movie quotes, meaning I had to say it in a french accent. “...Or I shall taunt you a second time!” Oh I do love Monty Python... Unfortunately it didn’t get the joke, well duh right?
I began to think of a plan, or try to at least. It was still three against one, Trixie was hiding behind a mine cart she wasn’t connected to yet. So at least if we had to make a break for it it wasn’t going be difficult for her to get away, that just left me with the immediate issue... What the heck was I supposed to do now? Luckily, Rex answered that very question for me... Thus hilarity ensued shortly after...
“What’s that object in his hand? It looks... Shiny...” Rex muttered to his twin, they came closer and I stopped hiding it behind my back.
“Oh, this?” I showed them, still confused what on earth they were thinking.
Ok, time for another tangent, this one however is more related to the whole situation.... Let me begin...
Many years ago, my grandparents had a dog. Now it used to chase us around the garden the very second you used to run away from it, not to mention if you threw a ball anywhere it would chase it with delight... Oh and can you see where I’m going with this yet? When I finally figured it out I wanted to laugh so damned much, I just wore a cheeky grin on my face and let my silly self just go nuts.
Using my ‘Dog Voice’ I uttered the following words, “You want the ball? You want the ball?” I swear to you right now their eyes widened in such a way it was as if they were fixated on one thing... The shiny red ball, they totally were as well... They started drooling and wagging their tails, the ringleader was clueless as to what the two were doing.
“What are you buffoons doing?!” The leader screamed, as I moved the ball left and right, watching their eager eyes follow it with intent and wonder. I was having a blast!
I threw the ball to an empty corner of the room and shouted, “Fetch!” They chased after it like earth dogs, it was adorable and hilarious. I was in stitches, laughing ones posterior off like a true champ. They got the ball and began to argue over who brought it back, when they did I just did the same thing. This happened another 3 times, Trixie was watching me like I was crazy... Again.
They had retrieved the ball for the 4th time, this time however would be the last time I threw it, I held the ball in my hand and then looked towards Trixie, still hiding behind cover but peeking enough to see me. “Trixie!” I shouted across the mine, that got her attention. She nodded at me with confirmation that she heard me, with a smirk I raised my hand to make it seem like I was throwing the ball to the same location.
As I was about to throw it I shouted, “Run!” I suddenly changed trajectory and turned towards the ringleader, his face suddenly became more serious as he knew what I was planning. As I threw it his two subordinates charged after the ball, it was a work of pure genius.
“What!? No Wait!” He shouted but it was too late, they knocked their leader to the ground.
I turned to Trixie now running towards me and barked, “C’mon Lets bolt!”
“I couldn’t agree more!” Trixie replied with relief, we were dashing through the mines back to the entrance following the path we took when we arrived. She was just in front of me, leading the way.
She turned around briefly to ask me a question, “How did you know that would work?!”
“What? Using the ball? I didn’t, it was however pretty funny no?” I responded with a smile, panting as I did it however.
Running and talking like we were was taking a lot of air from my lungs. I’m not exactly very fit but I’m not unfit either, it's more of a balance between the two. The only other excuse I’ve got is that she has four legs and I have two, her weight is more spread out whereas mine is all sent to the legs. I never asked her this question, asking a girl in our world about her weight is a quick way to get slapped, so I would imagine a hoof to the face in this one, which would be a hell of a lot worse.
She giggled to herself before responding, “It was most entertaining...”
We eventually made our way outside, I stopped and turned to look behind me. They were gaining... Fast! I turned around and kept on running, eventually we had finally made it to the wagon and Trixie got to work, I jumped in the front next to her. Behind where I sat was a small doorway leading into the back of wagon so I wasn’t worried about hiding myself if necessary, she lifted the front half of the wagon and began to spin the wheels rapidly. It began to move rather suddenly and I fell backwards over the seat as a result, it didn’t hurt and I was laughing so it was all good. I quickly got back up and leaned over the right side of the wagon, looking back at the dogs who had just given up chasing us...
“See ya later Topaz Terriers!” I blurted out, I removed my hat and waved it above my head. “If I see you again, remind me to give you guys a bone!”
“Do you have to?” Trixie quizzed me, it sounded rather serious but her face was still smiling with delight.
I nodded and sat back down beside her and got comfy, “Of course I do, it makes myself and others happy...” I replied with a smile, “Besides, I think they deserve a couple more taunts... But we’ve got places to be so it can wait for now...”
I looked forwards into the distance but we were still in the canyon, I would have loved to see the giant mountains and wicked landscapes.
“So... How far is it to Dodge?” I pondered out loud gazing up at the sky, it was as clear as the sea, not a single cloud was in sight anywhere.
“Another hour yet, you should probably get some sleep... It would make the trip go a lot quicker...” Trixie replied.
I sat there wondering if I should go into the back and just chill out for a while, but something was bothering me. I still knew very little about her, I figured It about time I got some answers.
“Nah I’m good, I think I’d rather just talk...”
Her ears perked up, she slowly turned her head towards me. “Talk? About what?”
“Well you for starters” I began, “I met you yesterday and yet I still know next to nothing about you... Yet we’ve been travelling for several hours now and we haven’t really had a chance to talk. Like about your past, family, friends and all that good stuff...”
Trixie’s eye twitched and then she closed both of them. “Well, you know that I am the Great and Powerful Trixie!” She boasted, “Surely this is all you need to know!”
And Just like that she had reverted back to the old Trixie I remember from the show, It seemed pretty strange considering we had just escaped from some mine, then made a break for the wagon and then rubbed the dogs failure in their faces whilst laughing and joking with each other. I was ever so slightly confused, so I carried on trying to extract any kind of information.
“No, that’s not what I meant... I want to know about ‘You’, not your stage persona...”
“But my ‘Persona’ on stage and who I am now are one and the same!” She protested, “What would talking about Trixie accomplish? Everypony Knows how great I am!”
“It would help me understand ‘You’ better as a Perso- I mean Pony...” I tried to get her to give me some kind of answer but she just shot me down. “Like what town was you brought up in? Or maybe it was a city?”
There was a short silence, a pause between her listening to the question and then the response she gave. “... That kind of information is private and I would like to keep it that way human...”
‘Hang on... Is... Is she avoiding the question!?” I asked myself, “Wh-why? Was it a rough place to be bought up or something? Perhaps it was other ponie-”
“Enough!” Trixie shouted, she sounded a lot more stern than before. “... Please, just stop...”
Not only did she not want to talk about it, but just trying to touch the subject seemed to rub her the wrong way. I backed off immediately, “...ok, I’ll stop...” I muttered, I leaned back and realised that sitting where I was just got a lot more uncomfortable. Eventually, it got the better of me and I had to bail. “I’m heading to the back, wake me when we’re there...”
I didn’t get a response... Plus I felt I made her feel uncomfortable, because of this fact I didn’t get a wink of sleep...
Eventually we had finally arrived at our destination, Dodge Junction. I peeked out of the window carefully, to make sure I wasn’t seen, so I could see what it was like. It was a small town but let me tell ya, it was busy. Picture Appleloosa, now shrink it down in size slightly and... Wait, hang on. If you’ve seen the episode where pinkie shouts ‘You Pinkie Promised!’ Which had me in stitches by the way, then this explanation seems kind of pointless, it was busy anyway... I guess that's why Trixie decided to head there next...
She pulled over into an empty corner of the town, people looked and stared at the wagon with wonder. It was more colourful than anything in the town, so it's understandable why it made heads turn as it rolled in. I was about to get out of the wagon and help prepare the stage, but the second I went near the door...
“Wait!” Trixie implored, “Your the main attraction! If you go out there now you’ll spoil the show!”
‘Strange way to put it...’ I said in the back of my head, then again if I had walked out there I would have scared everypony... Just like when I arrived...“Ok, you're the boss... I’ll just practice some moves for now...”
“Moves?” Well that got her attention, “What did you have in mind?”
Pacing back and forth, I began to go over several ideas in my head, then blurted them out without thinking. “Well, handstands, juggling, dancing, cartwheels, I have a few tricks up my sleeves...” I said with a smile, even though I couldn’t do any of those. “I can even make my thumb Disappear!”
“Wh-that’s impossible!” Trixie recoiled with shock, “I demand to know how you could do such a trick!”
I laughed with hysteria and replied with the smug voice that only magicians use. “But Trixie, don’t you know? Magicians Never reveal their secrets!”
She pouted at me before grumpily before answering, “Fine...” then continued outside to make preparations for the show, I on the other hand had more important things to attend to, like trying to master all the things I said I could do in a matter of minutes. I was bouncing all over the place trying to do attempt at least one of these feats, it wasn’t going well... I tried a hand stand and almost broke my neck, then I tried juggling and ended up punching myself in the face... I don’t even remember how I managed that... Then I tried a cartwheel, I got dizzy and fell on the floor and just layed there for a good 5 minutes, epic fail anyone? It was kind of pointless, I couldn’t do anything spectacular or amazing that Trixie thought I could do. Well, except removing my thumb, you know that one right? It's the oldest trick in the book...
Trixie eventually returned inside after making preparations for the show, I was actually quite intrigued, she looked extremely happy. I tried a different tactic of getting information, trying an entirely different approach. “You must enjoy this quite a bit to be travelling everywhere for the sake of entertainment, especially if you don’t get any money out of it...”
“Entertainment shouldn't be about money” Trixie said proudly, “It should be something free for everypony to enjoy! No matter what the pony's financial situation could be...”
‘Financial situation?’ I thought to myself, ‘That was oddly... Specific...’
“Well, I’m glad you enjoy doing something for everyone with such prowess and pride!” I replied, quite surprised by such an impressive outlook. “It's quite admirable... But I’ve been meaning to ask, why do you talk in the third person... Wait... Or is it third-pony?”
This was one of the main questions I’d wanted to ask her at the time, I mean was it necessary? I didn't think so, then again she did appear to be extremely boastful... “Why not?” Trixie stated, “They get free entertainment, surely I’m allowed to talk about myself whilst doing so?”
I began to explain to her, in the simplest and most informative way possible, the reasons why It would be counter productive to talk about oneself in such a manner. “But doesn’t it sound a bit... Pretentious? I mean talking about yourself during a show, wouldn’t that make them lose interest? They might think you're just boastful and self indulgent... That’s kinda the opposite of what you want, considering you want to entertain them and all...”
I was expecting her to snap back at me for suggesting such a thing, instead what I got, after a short silence, was a well thought out response. “...I do suppose I boast a little bit too much, I just want everypony to enjoy themselves...”
Sighing before walking over to her and getting eye level, I put it as clearly as possible. “Look, Trix” I began to elaborate, her face tilted to one side as I used her new nickname right in her face for the first time. “If you really believe in entertaining the ponies of this world, you need to be able to put ‘Them’ first. Even if you just walk onto the stage and say “I’m Trixie and this is my show”, not in third person by the way, then that's enough right? It’s entertainment and it's good don’t get me wrong, but by saying all those things... Doesn’t it set the bar just a little too high?”
Looking at the ground and sweeping past it with her hoof, she began to ponder everything that was said. “...Ok, so how do you think should I open the show?” She then walked over to the closed curtain, where she would be standing at the start of the show. “Just a quick intro and-?”
“Now wait” I interrupted swiftly, “ I didn’t say you had to leave out a proper introduction, all you have to do is tell them who you are and why you do what you do. You enjoy entertaining others, so what you could say is ‘My name is Trixie! Hobbyist show pony! I am here to share my love of this worlds entertainment with you all!’ Something like that, it shows your enthusiasm and love for what you do”
“Wait...” Trixie replied quietly, “...could you, write that down for me?” Using her big shiny eyes, she had convinced me to write her an introduction cue-card. It was for her sake, ‘Perhaps It would help her open up a bit more...’ I thought, she had listened to me up to this point so that was already a good start. I was put in charge of running all the lights and fireworks, all I had to do after this was get ready to burst out from backstage, doing what I did best whilst, hopefully, trying not to scare everypony in the process. What I do best by the way is act totally random in awkward situations, it’s a natural reaction I have.
Trixie gave me a wave with her hoof as a sign to get this show on the road, I got to the levers controlling all of the lighting and other special effects at our disposal, I cued the lights which were pointing at the center stage. I could see through a gap in the curtain at what was happening, ponies walking past or nearby had suddenly lost interest in what they were doing it was now fixated on the stage. I walked over to the pulley system for the curtain, “You all set?” I asked with a smile, it was exciting to be a part of something like this.
“Ready when you are!” Trixie replied with joy, I’m not even joking when I say this, when she was on that stage she looked happier than anyone, human or pony alike, I could possibly have ever imagined. I pulled open the curtain and she began to speak, I could hear the nervousness in her voice. “I am the Gre- I mean, My name is Trixie! Hobbyist show pony! I am... here to share my love of this worlds entertainment with all of you!”
The small group of ponies that had gathered so far, the audience, looked thrilled and happy to see Trixie so happy to entertain them for the cost of absolutely nothing but their time, over the extended amount of time we gathered quite an audience. I wish I knew how many ponies were in the town but if I had to guess, it was probably all of them... I’m not even kidding... You know Trixie’s old routine? Yeah, she did that... With a couple of alterations, it all goes back to what happened in ponyville. I never gave away the fact I knew anything about this world and I kept it that way as long as I could, mostly for the obvious reasons. Anyway, she had basically learnt several new tricks to show off. You know the trick AJ used to lasso an apple off a nearby tree? Well as it turns out, she could lift the rope with magic and do the same thing, not only that, but she could use it to catch an object in midair. Remember that ball I threw? She used that as practice before using real fruit, I eventually replaced the ball but at that point in time it was still in a deep dark cave somewhere. Other tricks she used were as follows, fireworks which, when they exploded in the air, turned into the shape of an Ursa Minor. She materialized flowers made from pure magic appear out of nowhere, which she then threw to the crowd, they were all different colours, shapes and sizes. Then I saw one that made me seethe just a tad, she pulled a rabbit out of a hat. Human magic, fake magic, does my head in. The rest was fine, its just ‘That’ which gets on my nerves. It shouldn’t even be called magic, it’s all down to illusions and sleight of hand. Calling it ‘Magic’ is an insult to this world... Anyway, she signalled for me to get ready, I hit one of the switches and a second set of lights came on. They were a mixture of colours, kind of like a kaleidoscope, aiming at the stage. Very eye catching and very effective... Then she signalled for me to wait, this confused me slightly, I thought I was just supposed to head out and go crazy.
As it turned out, she had given me my own introduction. Remember how she depicted herself Vanquishing an Ursa Major? It was drawn on the stars themselves, well they seemed to be anyway. Well, she began to draw herself on a stage... Then she began telling a tale which sounded all too familiar...
“I would like to share something with you all today, something which occurred quite recently in fact...”She began, I remember tilting my head trying to figure out what she was doing... “I was doing a show, very much like this one, in the town of Appleloosa...”
‘Wait, hang on...’ I thought to myself, ‘This is already sounding... Familiar...’
The townsfolk were listening and watching with wonder, the sky was now a canvas for the story itself. “I had done something rather... Foalish, I had opened a portal to another world...” By this point the townsfolk were looking at eachother with confusion, the wonder and amazement had been drained from their faces. Regardless of noticing this, Trixie carried on, “Within moments of the portal opening, a creature had appeared from this purple, spiraling vortex...” The lights in the sky were now moving, the portal was spinning... Then, a creature wearing a familiar black shirt and red tie had fallen out of this abyss. It was me... “Now, I present to you, my sidekick of entertainment, The first Human in Equestria!”
‘Right, that’s my cue!’ I muttered nervously as I looked at my now shaking hands, ‘I’ll just wing it...’ I thought, as I walked up to the center stage. Before I had left, I activated the lights to work on a timer, they turned off for exactly 5 seconds. During this time I made my way next to Trixie, then the lights flickered on and boom, I was being viewed by a whole town...
“Hello There!” I said clearly with a smile, “My name is Ni-” Well I wanted to anyway, they all started screaming and ran away in a panic.
I just stared in complete and total disbelief as all the towns folk scattered away to their homes, “... R-Really?!” I spluttered, “This is just... This is Deja Vu isn’t it?”
Trixie sighed loudly next to me, “Sure seems that way...”
The Standard and Normal Human: One : Meeting T.G.A.P. Trixie
A Welcoming and Friendly Reunion
The Standard and Normal Human 3
As I stood on the stage, staring at all of the fleeing ponies running for their lives, I had a revelation. This was going to happen every time I encountered a town and its folk... Their reaction was a reasonable one however, I mean c’mon, I was something they had never seen before so it was natural that they were scared. At the time however I was hoping that perhaps I’d find that one town that wouldn’t recoil in fear, this however wasn’t looking promising.
I finally decided to sit down on the spot and began to think out loud, “Why... Do they always run?” I sighed, turning to Trixie for some kind of answer. “Is there something on my face?”
Trixie giggled to herself before answering, “Perhaps it was your face they were running from”
I glared at her, she was laughing to herself... at my expense no less. “Harsh Trix... Harsh...” Eventually I snapped out of it and realised what had occurred, “I think I ruined your show... Sorry...”
Trixie's eyebrow arched with confusion, “What? Why are you apologising?” She strolled over to where I was sitting, “This was hardly your fault”
Not to her maybe, but to me it seemed kind of obvious. “Yes, it was” I began, “It was all going fine and dandy until I strolled onto the stage, they saw me, turned tail and then ran for their lives...”
I might not have intentionally caused this to happen, but I truly thought this was my doing. I got up and looked around at the empty town, no sound, no busy streets, just pure silence...
“They were just scared, You know that anyway-” Trixie Began to say but was interrupted by a sound in the distance, it wasn’t actually that far away.
“Pip! Get back here!” A familiar voice shouted, me and Trixie looked around but couldn’t see where it was coming from. Eventually we both peered over the edge of the stage, there was a small filly with deep brown eyes, a dark brown mane with lighter streaks mixed in and a white coat of fur with greyish brown spots, one of which was on his left eye... In the style of Rolf Harris, Can you tell who it is yet?
“Um, hello?” Pipsqueak said nervously, eventually my mind went from inactive to proactive and I realised who was talking to us.
“Oh, hi there!” I replied back happily, I jumped down to greet him but didn’t realise how stupid that was. He backed away slightly, still unsure as to who or what I was. I apologised immediately, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you, honest”
“His face seems to do that just fine though...” Trixie remarked in a very sly fashion, she was actually enjoying this. “Perhaps we should do a travelling sideshow? You're pretty good at scaring everypony...”
“Oh ha-ha, very funny” I replied in an un-enthusiastic voice, “What are you going do? Put me in a cage and cart me around everywhere?!”
Trixie began to rub her chin with her hoof, “Hm, not a bad idea...” She said, jokingly... I hoped. “Now... Where do we get a cage from?”
I walked closer to the stage that Trixie was still standing on, with a serious tone I muttered, “Yo- Please tell me you're joking...” Her facial expression wasn’t moving, she was torturing me mentally, “Trix? You're not actually going to-”
Eventually she cracked a smile and began laughing at me, again. “Of course not!”
I sighed with relief, “Can you, you know, Not do that again... I almost had a heart attack...” Trixie was now on the floor in stitches, as well as a certain filly who was a character inspired by work done by the late Charles Dickens. I chuckled to myself, “Well at least someone is enjoying themselves...”
“S-sorry sir” Pipsqueak said, still trying to contain his laughter. “B-But it was just a tad funny is all. I didn’t mean anything by it, I swear!”
Eventually, just like when I first arrived, the ponies that fled were looking now through their windows and doors, trying to figure out whether I was a danger to them. This however seemed to go a lot smoother than before, considering we were all laughing instead of shouting at each other. Suddenly my attention was diverted, as I saw a certain teacher peering around the corner of one of the buildings. It was Miss Cheerilee no less...
“Pip!” She shouted again, “Please! Come back here!” Looking ever so worried for her student. I never questioned why they were here, I just guessed it was a school trip or something. If I asked why they were in Dodge, it would have sounded like I knew them. This of course would spark confusion, so I kept to my guns and pretended to know nothing at all, it was for the best. Behind her were a collective of eyes, the other students that she was teaching. Three of these students, codenamed ‘CMC’ by many people from my world, charged out from their cover and stared me down me from where they were... I’ve said this so many times before but still... Guess who...
“W-what!?” Cheerilee spluttered nervously as more of her students had wandered off from her side, “Come back here girls!”
“What is That!?” Sweetie Belle asked as her voice cracked with surprise, “I’ve never seen one of those before!” Her voice went straight through me...
“What y’all think? A scale-less dragon?” Applebloom asked her friends, slowly getting closer to me.
“It doesn’t matter, I say we catch it!” Scootaloo announced loudly, they all looked at each other and nodded in synchronisation. Then they turned to me, slowly advancing towards me with evil intent in their eyes.
“Um, Trix...” I whimpered, not taking my eyes off the crusaders. She started giggling again, “That’s not helping...”
“Ok fine, want some advice?” Trixie muttered, smirking at me.
“That would be greatly appreciated...” I replied in haste, “What should I do?”
“Run!” Trixie barked at me, as she did the crusaders charged towards me and I hightailed it outta there.
Cheerilee began to chase after the three ‘rapscallions' but Trixie stopped her, “You don’t have to worry, he’s not dangerous...”
The teachers eyes were squinting at Trixie, trying to recognise who she was looking at. “I know you, you came to ponyville!” But she snapped out of her daze and quickly remembered her main concern, “Wait, how can you be so sure it’s safe?”
Trixie didn’t respond, she just pointed at me, I was laughing happily. I turned back to see the two talking but I had no idea what they were saying, I just kept on running with a big grin on my face. The whole situation wasn’t a serious one anyway... To me at least. I mean If the army, our army, found a new species, what would the the first rules of engagement be? Simple, expect hostility. As for these guys? They didn’t show much fear for such ideas as ‘It might be dangerous’, in short I wasn’t taking this as seriously as they were, I was laughing the entire time... In turn, they thought I was taunting them... Not good for me as it would turn out, they got clever and split up from each other.
Now, describing a small town like this one would be tricky, I mean I was being chased the entire time so I’ll give you an idea of what the place was like. Most houses were businesses, in other words each house was a shop. Fresh fruit, books, building utensils, heck there would be way too many to point out. One of which caught my eye was a certain drinking hole, meaning a pub. And if your not British then its a bar, oh I do love the complexities of other countries... And worlds for that matter... But yeah, they were mostly family run businesses from what I learnt. They had a strong community, just like the village I’ve lived in for the past 20 years. The community however were watching in confusion, Pip and Trixie were laughing as I ran around trying to avoid my pursuers, Cheerilee looked with concern at the three who had ignored her request to come back. I was sweating and losing the will to go on much further with this daring chase, I eventually headed back to the stage, jumped up onto the platform and sat down on the spot in order to catch my breath.
I held my hands out and shook them, trying to signal I gave up. “Ok, J-ust give- me a sec-ond” I slowly muttered, gasping for breath. “Gah... I hate running-” I was suddenly ambushed! The three fillies had tackled me to the ground, then stood triumphantly over me. “-Ach, c’mon!”
“We caught it! We caught it!” Applebloom shouted in success, she looked at her friends with glee. “What do we do now?”
“You could always, you know, Get off me...” I suggested, “This floor isn’t exactly comfy...”
“Not a chance!” Scootaloo announced, standing her ground... On my back... “I say we tie it up and bring it back to ponyville!”
Trixie’s eyes sparked up yet again, as she had yet another evil idea up her sleeve. “I might be able to help with that...” she taunted, giggling to herself as she walked back stage. “I think I have some rope here somewhere...” Turning to me, looking at the horrified look on my face she laughed herself to the ground. I was entertaining her in such a way I didn’t think possible, at this point I was banging my head on the floor in complete disbelief.
I eventually stopped my self harming and, calmly, stated the following. “I’m not going to hurt anybody! Just get off so I can talk-” I was abruptly interrupted, also I’d like to point out that Trixie had totally betrayed me by this point...
“So y’all can run away? Fat chance!” Applebloom stated, looking at their teacher who was slowly approaching. “Its ok Miss Cheerilee! We caught it!”
“Students, please get off of Trixie’s friend...” Miss Cheerilee asked, this confused the crusaders entirely, and me actually...
They all shouted in confusion, “Friend?” They responded in complete synchronicity, they turned to each other and eventually got their hides off my back. I stood up and brushed the dust off my shirt, if I had known that I would have been dragged into another world, I would have gone through the portal wearing something other than my best clothes... Just my luck... They clambered down from the stage and headed to their teacher, after a couple of seconds of muttering something... “We’re sorry...”
I gave a loud laugh, “What? Don’t worry about it... Seriously...” I moved to the edge of the stage and sat down, my legs were hanging off the side. “It wasn’t exactly an unexpected response, I mean if it were some guards then I’d guess it would have been worse...” I hadn’t seen any guards up to that point, by this I mean in the towns I had passed through. I guess their main objective was to protect the royalty of this land, then again to protect them from what?
My attention had turned to Trixie, the same mare who had used me as a target for three fillies, “Oh and Trix, Thanks for your help...” I muttered sarcastically, “I just don’t know what I would have done without you...”
She began laughing, “Oh but it was priceless!” I swear she was laughing the entire time, at my expense. “At least the residence of the town got a fun show!”
“What?” I responded in confusion, I looked up and actually payed attention to my immediate environment... I was surrounded. The towns folks eyes were all fixated on me, my eye went all twitchy and my face went red, right on cue. “Oh... Um, hi?”
This was the only response I could conjure from my confidence, for the next few seconds I was telling myself mentally, ‘Don’t do anything stupid’, It didn’t help. Of course eventually my brain clicked and rewinded to when I first arrived and I realised, yet again, that I shouldn’t panic when confronted with talking ponies, no matter how insane that might have sounded. I have a saying of my own, You want to know what it is? It’s, ‘Insanity is Bliss’ It makes sense to me, so I just ran with what was going on without question... Easiest way to do it...
“The names Nick, nice to meetcha!” I said clearly, “I hope I didn’t scare anyone- Er, pony. Seems like that happens every time I’m seen out in the open...”
Trixie had eventually stopped laughing, at me, long enough to give a serious answer, “We’ve been to two towns so far, maybe it won't happen Everytime...” She gave me yet another amused look, “Maybe...”
I shook my head, “You really are enjoying this too much you know?” Then I looked around at the ponies, just stood there watching me. I had completely forgot about them, “Oh.. Right...”
Just then I heard yet another churning sound from below, it was my stomach, Again... Man I was hungry...
“So where did you come from!?” Sweetie Belle shouted at me as her voice cracked yet again, slowly she tilted her head. “Did you come from space?”
“What? Do you have any idea how silly that sounds? Of course not!” I stated plainly and quickly, they looked disappointed. “Nah, I came from another world...” This in turn caused their faces to go completely the opposite shape, what was once disappointment was now wonder and amazement. I had a big grin on my face, it's not everyday I get a chance to be the talk of the town. The townsfolk were all in awe, I looked around at the crowd, they were all very intrigued as to what I was, I figured I had time to kill. “Anyone else got any questions? One at a time just fire away...”
Yet another short silence, until some of the townsfolk took up my offer. “What are y’all? If you don’t mind us asking...” A good first question, though it seems kind of simple now I look back at it.
“Well I’m human, I walk on two legs...” I began to explain in the best way I could, “Kind of like... Like a diamond dog I guess...”
“Diamond dog?!” The towns folk replied, it wasn’t in sync but several of them kind of blurted it out. They then started talking amongst themselves, “Do you have them in your world too?”
“What?” I replied swiftly in confusion, slowly realising that I am from another world and I am talking about things from theirs... It took me awhile to figure that out, “Oh! No, no we um... We encountered some a while back, on our way here in fact...”
“Impossible!” One of them shouted, “How did y’all get away!?” I began to laugh as I remembered exactly how I did it, I still can’t even believe that it worked.
“Easily apparently, I just distracted them with a ball...” I said plainly, this was true. I didn’t really do much to escape from them... “It seemed to work quite well for us...”
“How would a ball help you against them!?” Scootaloo shouted, “Their mean and stupid”
“And that’s why it worked, I just played fetch with them. Kind of reminded me of the dogs from my world... Well, except without the talking... And being big meanies...”
The crowd laughed, a creature, unknown to them, had managed to evade quite a dangerous enemy by doing something so ridiculous. One voice which was laughing stood out from the rest of the crowd ponies, it was coming from the back.
“Seems like you’ve adapted quickly Kid, good to see your settling in...” A familiar voice said.
“Yeah well I- wait...” I stopped, recognising the tone of voice, as well as the nickname I was given by a certain pony when I first arrived. I glanced down at the crowd, scanning for the pony I was looking for and there he was, clear as day. “...Steam Trail?”
The crowd split into two and the same mare I first met when I arrived walked through the middle, he had a big grin on his face. “It’s good to see you remember me, how you been doing Kid?”
I jumped down and walked up to him, kneeling down so I could get eye level. I patted him on the shoulder, it was good to see him. “I’ve not been too bad, what about you?” I replied with a smile.
“Good, I get to travel wherever the train takes me, I get to see the sights and help ponies find their way...” Trail said enthusiastically, he took pride in what he did. To be honest while I think about it their Cutiemarks seem to determine their jobs right? But what ever their job is they seem to enjoy it, I kind of wish the human world worked that way... Would make working a lot easier, without having to adapt to different jobs and all, just focus on what you're good at... Then again, perhaps humans are slightly more flexible at adjusting to different jobs than ponies, just a thought...
Trail looked at everypony else around us, he shook his head and turned to face them. “C’mon, go about your daily business everypony” He asked the crowd, “He’s not dangerous, he may even take a look around the town... So keep calm and carry on...”
They didn’t question him, they listened to his every word and dispersed from the area. I was quite surprised, I mean I wasn’t even sure if they knew him or not but they didn’t question him. However he did say that he travelled everywhere, so it would only be natural to know someone from each local town... But still, for all of them to just walk away like that...
That left me, Trixie, Cheerilee, the students and Steam Trail who, from this point onward, will be known as Tray, all standing next to the stage as a unit... Well, kind of... Before Cheerilee took her students and continued walking around town, they began walking towards me.
“It was very nice to meet you” Miss Cheerilee said kindly, “I hope your remaining days in Equestria go a little... smoother...” I guessed that Trixie had filled her in, otherwise she wouldn’t have known that.
“Thank you! It was a pleasure to meet you all, see ya around!” I replied with a smile, waving as they all walked away. I turned back to Tray and Trixie, my stomach started churning again, I averted my eyes in embarrassment. “He, sorry about that...” I uttered nervously.
“C,mon kid, let’s get ya something to eat” He said kindly, then he turned to Trixie, “You as well, my treat...”
“What?” Trixie yelped with surprise, “Oh, thank you!” She didn’t expect that I think, from the outside she does seem like a loner. I mean think about it, did you see her travelling with anyone else? Well, except those two numbskulls following her around. They were more like awkward fans, in any case she had never had company on her travels before as far as I could tell... I guess the trust barrier must have been a big milestone for her, especially if she had just taken up an offer of a stranger who knew me... Oh and allowed me to join her on her travels, that reason being the main one I guess...
Tray led us to the ‘Drinking Hole’, or the saloon if you're a normal human being... Or pony for that matter. I could hear the sound of that stereotypical piano music being played, as I walked into the saloon it stopped abruptly. The other ponies in the room looked at the piano-ny, yes that’s what I just said, as he had just stopped playing his instrument. Then they all looked where he was looking, which was at me by the way.
“Enough” Tray uttered loudly, “Just carry on as normal, he’s a guest of these lands...” They all looked at eachother and just continued their business, it was nice to feel like some normality for once.
“They seem to look up to you...” I pointed out as he led us to a free table, we all took our seats and my eyes began to wander around the room. It was a typical saloon setting, quite a large one at that. There were about ten tables, three to four chairs at each one, then a bar at the center. My attention returned to Tray, I wasn’t sure why he was here buying us food when he had a job to do... Unless... “So Tray... Did you get time off work for now?”
“Well I’ve finished for the day, in fact, I live here in Dodge Junction” Tray said happily, “It's a nice town, everypony is happy and we have a strong bonded community”. He held up his hoof to get the attention of a waitress, yes a waitress. A pony waitress to be precise, what else could it be right? “I’ll get us a menu...”
Eventually the waitress arrived, carrying menus in the air using her horn. Walking up to us nervously she placed them to our table, then looked towards me as if unsure about something. “Um, I do hope we have something you’ll like” She stated very nervously, “I’m not entirely sure what you would want to eat...”
“Oh, don’t worry about that” I replied with sincerity, “I’m sure I’ll find something on here...” Within moments my prayers had been answered, vegetable curry.
Now, If I was in a casino and had just won at a slot machine, I would have shouted Jackpot! And I would have done exactly the same here too, if it wasn’t for me trying to stay calm and act normal. I can act pretty daft at times, I might appear to be quiet and calm in real life, but when talking to me any other way, I’m anything but normal. It usually involves a lot of shouting... Oh and uncontrollable laughter...
Tangent again... Anyway, my eyes glared at this in particular meal that I was reading about on the menu. I love curry, there were other meals on this menu that looked just as good. All vegetarian of course, listing from lasagne, potatoes, pasta, then the obvious ones of course, like a salad... And Hay. They all sounded amazing, well except for the last one of course. I avoided the hay for human reasons. Like the main one, we don’t eat hay...
Now I won’t bore you with every little detail like, for example, how long the meals took to make and how I had managed to get the majority of the meal on my face. Or perhaps the fact that their cider is non-alcoholic, it's just apple juice. I’ve tried cider, in fact its my favourite drink in my world. Nothing beats a cold pint of Cider... Anyway, what I can explain was that we were just having general conversation. What the town was like and where we were from, Tray grew up in dodge and spent his days helping the Mayor. How he did this was by keeping the trains in check and making sure that the passengers were heading in the right direction when they arrived or departed. Eventually by doing this he was rewarded by receiving his Cutie mark, he was a little older than most fillies who usually get their marks at a young age, so he kind of stood out.
Then I explained the mess I was, no not being sucked through the portal, that would have been an interesting conversation mind you. No, it was about my Human life. Like going to college for 3 years and having very little to show for it. Mentioning college intrigued Tray and meant I had to explain how our world works. The education system, the government which I know nothing about by the way and, of course, what the world revolves around. You know, money right? Yeah, in their world love makes the world go round... Or something like that. I then explained the recession and how it made everything worse, about how I struggled to find any kind of work anywhere. When you want to find work and you just can’t, it’s frustrating. Let me tell you a tale, once upon a time, when I was looking for work in my quiet town. I walked into a pub and asked the manager, ‘I don’t suppose you have any jobs do you?’ He said there might be some in a weeks time and that I should return then, so I waited a week and went back. Guess what happened when I got there? Seriously... As I walked up to it, it was boarded up with wood. The Windows were concealed and the signs were taken down. They had basically closed the shop down completely and left town... Just my luck eh? Other than that I told them about how I wanted to be a Teacher Assistant, like how I had done work in schools before and how I helped out during my time there.
Then there was Trixie and, for whatever reason, she was trying to avoid the topic... But at the same time she didn’t seem as defensive as before, perhaps she learned to trust others more? Heck if I know...
“So what about you Trix?” I began to ask her, It was a simple question to begin with. “Where did you grow up?”
“... Well...” Trixie sounded uneasy, but not as bad as when I first asked her this morning. “I grew up in Las Pegasus... But-”
“Wait, do you mean the city that never sleeps?” Tray interrupted with interest, he was leaning forward at this point. “I’ve never been there before but I’ve heard stories about it...”
Now remember, I know nothing, or at least that's what I wanted them to believe. I have heard of this place being mentioned before by one of the characters on the show, but that’s about it. So instead of guessing I just asked, “Hang on a sec, Las Pegasus?”
“Oh... Right”, Tray replied, quickly remembering that I wasn’t from this world. “Well, it's a gigantic city which, they say, lights up the night sky. It’s home to all the major entertainments of our world, big and small”
“Huh, sounds like quite the place...” I replied, sounded just like Las Vegas to me... With added pony.
“Wait, you said ‘But-’ Trixie, you grew up there, but what?”
She had averted her eyes, showing how uneasy this was for her to talk about this subject. “I grew up there, but...” She stopped, slight hesitation was showing as her pause stretched out for a short while. “...I didn’t stay in one place”
“What? You were bought up in a place like that and you didn’t stay put? “ I was surprised but after saying this I figured something out, why would she be travelling around if she didn’t want to get away from something. I could figure that out with the next question, “What made you leave?”
That awkward silence lingered for a while longer, something she was running from perhaps? “Nothing in particular... And nothing You should worry about...” Trixie replied, slightly more defensive than earlier.
I was about to question that answer when suddenly I got a swift kick under the table from Tray, I looked at him as if to say ‘The Hell Man?!’ But he shook his head, signalling to me not to push her for an answer. I obeyed and changed the subject, I peered outside and noticed the sun setting. “Huh, it’s getting late. We should probably be heading back to the wagon...” I said happily, standing up and stretching my arms. “Thanks for the meal Tray! It was Darn good eating!”
“It’s not a problem” Tray began, “But it’s not me you should be thanking...” His hoof pointed behind me, as I turned around I was witness to a pony chef, wearing the biggest french white hat... Thing, that you have ever seen!
“Well I’m glad you enjoyed it!” The chef replied, with a thick french accent no less. I can’t write in french, or make English words sound french, so bare with me and just use your imagination for the next few moments. “I made sure the curry wasn’t too spicy, some can get quite hot indeed!”
I responded without thinking, “Yeah, I tried a Madras once” I began to elaborate, “I was pretty much in tears and my face was bright red the entire time... In a restaurant. With people looking at me... It was extremely embarrassing”
“Oh!” The chef uttered in surprise, “I never realised that- Well I guess I never asked, Is this world similar to yours in any particular way?”
“In every way pretty much...” I said without any delay in response, “... Well, except we don’t eat hay... But that’s about it...” I didn’t mention the fact that we’re Omnivores, or that we’re always in wars, or that we keep horses and ponies as pets and property. I wouldn't even think about doing something like that, the repercussions on doing so would be unimaginable...
We said our goodbyes to the workers and headed outside, I soon realised that I had missed a golden opportunity to use a Monty Python reference whilst talking to the french pony, If only they had a dirty fork... Anyway, we parted ways from Tray and he headed for his home.
“Ok Guys” Tray began, “It was good seeing you, try not to get into too much trouble...”
“We’ll try Tray” I replied happily. “See ya later dude!”
“And thank you for the meal!” Trixie added, she was in a better mood than earlier.
“Take care!” He said, as he walked away towards his home.
Me and Trixie headed back to the wagon and hit the hay as soon as we got there, I decided to grab my sleeping bag and put it beside the main stage’s curtain. I opened it slightly so I could see the stars as I slowly fell asleep, I had never done this before and it was pretty amazing to see the night sky in a place without artificial lights. You know, because it makes the night sky dull.
I woke up the following morning, I didn’t know what time it was. Well, until I swayed out of bed and moved the curtain to ascertain the position of the sun. It was at a 45 degree angle, so I guessed it was around about 6 am. I decided to stay there for what felt like another hour, surrounded by the sound of the towns folk just outside.
It also gave me a moment to think about Trixie and her past, about why she avoided those questions, about her reasons for leaving, why she acts the way she does, heck a whole list of questions came to mind. I figured it was kind of pointless to think about such things at the time, I still had a few more days yet to figure all this out. ‘Whatever’ I thought to myself, as I jumped out of bed. I got changed and headed outside, Trixie was still asleep so I was on my own. The town was busy and, unlike yesterday, the townsfolk were happy to see me. It made a pleasant change to, you know, them screaming at the sight of me... That was getting pretty old...
I was walking around for a while until I came across a bakery, I peered through the window and I could see all sorts of things. Bread, Cakes, Croissants, Doughnuts, heck they all looked amazing! Only one slight problem... I had no money whatsoever... Now, I may be one of the worst ‘Bronies’ out there, I can barely recollect even some of the basic events that occurred in the show half of the time, but something was very clear to me, their currency. Bits, as they called them, were small coins made of metal. Just like ours, except with one major difference. They didn’t have a figure head on them, you know, like a British penny has the queen or an American cent with Mr Lincoln on the front. They were just... Blank... The only reason I knew this was because one was accidentally dropped onto the floor found its way next to my feet, I picked it up and inspected it.
I was looking at it for so long I had completely forgot about the pony who was looking at me, holding their money in my hand. I panicked, “Oh, I’m sorry!” quickly handing it over back to the pony, well I say handed it over. They put it in their mouth, then into their bag.
“Thank you human!” The pony said, as they re-entered the shop to buy their confectionaries.
‘Huh, well that was... Normal’ I figured, I continued walking down the street looking at anything that spiked my interest. Eventually I headed to the train station to see Tray before he left to do his job. Oh right, how he did this was by travelling with the train and helping passers find their way, it was a noble job. However I looked around and couldn’t find him anywhere, I guessed he had left early and was doing his job, I then continued to walk around aimlessly.
Then I came across something truly interesting, it was a newspaper stand. The pony who was manning the stall tipped his hat to me, I nodded back as a sign of respect. Picking up the local paper I recoiled in both confusion and shock as the front page read ‘Princess Celestia’s Surprise Visit to Appleloosa!’. ‘Huh, I was just there the other day...’ I thought to myself. At the time I just guessed it was to see her loyal subjects, in a place which is out of the way in the middle of the desert. I then turned to the second page and noticed the headline, one of which was a little less savoury. ‘Strange Creature Scares Appleloosians!’
I was both disappointed and outraged, “How on Earth... Did I... Not get on the front cover!?” I joked to myself, “Preposterous! I must complain to the masses!”
“Did you say something sir?” The Newspaper pony asked me in confusion, looking me in the eyes whilst tilting his neck.
“Wha- Uh- No!” I spluttered nervously, “No, I’m just... Talking to myself...” I put the paper back where I found it and walked away, I felt like a right muppet. “I’m not crazy...” I whispered. I’d managed to ignore my common sense, again, forgetting not to look crazy or stupid in public.
I finally headed back to the wagon, I could see Trixie in the distance packing up and preparing to head out to our next destination. It was now midday, I didn’t realise how much time I had spent wandering around. Oh and I had no idea where we were heading mind you, so I would just have to find out.
“Morning Little Trix” I said casually, hinting a certain band from a British talent show. “So, where we heading next?”
“Little?- Oh, we’re heading to Trottingham...” Trixie replied, slightly confused initially by my first comment. “It's quite the trip, I was supposed to pack up earlier, but...”
“But?” I questioned, perhaps there was a logical reason for this. “But It would be better to travel at midday? No Wait! But we could ride the wagon with the wind blowing behind us!”
“No... There’s a simple reason for it actually...” Trixie began, looking away for some reason. “... I... Slept in... I didn’t mean to though...” She seemed, uneasy... Embarrassed even...
“Hang on... Are- Are you blushing?!” I stated in surprise, “It’s not that bad you know, everyone has done something like that... Whatever, it’s not important, when we heading out?”
“Wha- Oh! As soon as the wagon is ready”, Trixie stated. She really took her job seriously, even if she did try to keep to herself...
We got all the props, the decorations, the lighting, everything we had prepared for in the morning and stowed them in the back. It looked like quite the mess if you ever get the chance to see it, it was kept together with rope so that it didn’t make so much noise on our travels, as well as keeping everything from falling out. Some of the towns folk approached the stage whilst we were packing up, there was three of them. Two either side looked like guards, black suits and those black glasses. The dude in the middle wore a monocle, oh and a top hat... You’ve got to love the top hat...
I turned my attention to him and waved from a distance, “Why hello there human!” The Mayor said happily, yep, it was the mayor of the town. “I would like to be the first to thank you for coming to our town, it isn’t much but I do hope you enjoyed your stay!”
“Um, It’s nothing really” I replied, slightly humbled. “But it’s not me you should thank...” I pointed to Trixie who was in the distance, trying to put things away. “She came here to entertain the town, I came with her to help. If you want to thank anyone, thank her...”
“How Nobel... Very well!” The Mayor replied, he jumped up onto the stage and began walking towards Trixie. “Miss?”
She turned around and was slightly shocked by the colt, now staring at her in the face. “Oh... Hello?” Trixie uttered in confusion, “Can I help you?”
“Miss?” The mayor began to say. “I would like to be the first to thank you for bringing this town an amazing show!”
Trixie’s face was priceless, It was true modesty coming out of mayors, No... Horses Mouth... Ha! Her face went bright red, which actually turned it purple, in complete embarrassment and shock. Her eyes started darting around and eventually she gave a response “Oh- Um, thank you!” She replied, spluttering as she spoke. “I’m just- doing what I’ve always done...”
It was kind of weird, I mean she’s a performer right? Surely she can manage someone telling her she did a good job... Right? Unless before she was just hiding behind her persona, actually now I think about it, she would have said something like, ‘At least you know good entertainment when you see it!’ Or something like that... So for her to actually throw that persona away, the same one she used to hide behind, and see her with actual emotions was pretty amazing. The hate I had once felt for her and that damned stage persona had died, this was Trixie as she should have been, just a performer doing what she enjoyed doing for the people she met. By people I mean Ponies by the way, and no, I’m not changing it... Glasses, Deal With It.
“I also have something for you...” The Mayor said, as he passed her a bag containing things from the town, it as mainly food and souvenirs. It was a very kind gesture, “It’s not much, but I hope you would accept this...”
Trixie didn’t respond, in fact at the time I didn’t think she knew how to respond. She looked at me as if to say ‘What do I do!?’ I quickly pulled out the cue card, which I was still carrying by the way, and wrote on one before throwing it ninja style at her hoofs. She looked down and responded, “Oh! Thank you, I’ll return to this lovely town one day”
The mayor smiled, “I hope so” He said happily, he jumped down from the stage and shouted to us. “Take care!”
Trixie sighed with relief, “Thanks for that, my mind went... Blank...”
“No worries” I replied, scratching the back of my head. “Just remember to breath next time ok?”
She nodded happily and carried the bag to the front of the wagon, as she did this however something had fallen out.
“Er, Trix?” I tried to get her attention but her mind was elsewhere, I shrugged and walked over to the piece of paper on the floor. As I picked it up I realised it was a letter, addressed to me... I knew this for a fact because it said Kid on the front. ‘Wait... Tray?’ I thought to myself, as I opened it and unfolded the letter... It read the following:-
Dear Nick,
I’m sorry I couldn’t say goodbye formally as I have a job to do, I did walk down to the wagon but you were asleep, I needed to tell you something important about Trixie. She may seem like a stubborn little filly when asked about her past, but it seems to me that she trusts you more than when you first met her. There’s something else I have to confess too, when you went to apologise to her back in Appleloosa, I followed you. Another thing I have to point out is that I’ve seen her around before, it was a while ago in fact... Years even. Back then she was stubborn all of the time, I even followed the circuit she did for her entertaining. Eventually a while back I saw her again in a place called Ponyville, she was put in her place. I was watching from afar so I don’t know the full story,
But my point is this, she isn’t as bad you think. And to be frank I think you’ve learnt this by now...
There will be a time when she tells you everything you want to know, until then don’t push her for information, I have to hazard a guess and say you may have tried this before no?
Anyway, I hope you enjoy your time in this land.
Take care
S.T.
P.S. There should be doughnuts in the bag for your travels...
I stood there and began to collect my thoughts... Well actually that wasn’t strictly true, I ended up jumping and shouting for joy, “Yes!” I cried hysterically, “We’ve got Doughnuts!”
The Standard and Normal Human: One : Meeting T.G.A.P. Trixie
The Old and Wise Poker Ponies
The Standard and Normal Human4
There is one thing in the world that can cheer me up in any situation, a good doughnut. It doesn’t matter what’s in it, It never ceases to put a smile on my face. I’ve heard in japan they have deep fried doughnuts with a curry filling, that right there is mind blowing to me! Eeyup, I’m that easily impressed. I held the letter in my hands and realised, this was a message just for me. I mean It was talking about Trixie after all, so I decided to put it in my pocket and keep quiet about it.
“Did you say something?” Trixie shouted back at me, hearing me yelling about something. “We’ve got some food for the trip, but we might need some more”
“Huh, so what’s the plan?” I responded with interest, intrigued I then fired the next question immediately. “We going shopping?” And then a thought occurred in my noggin, ‘How does she make money?’ I mean it’s free entertainment right? Yet she had money stashed away for a rainy day, where did It come from? That would be something to ask her later, Trixie had her bag of money ready to go and she began walking off the stage.
“Yeah, let’s go see what they have...” Trixie said happily, as she hopped off the stage. I followed suit as she led the way, as we walked to our destination we were greeted by the townsfolk passing by. “Morning!” Trixie chirped happily to the ponies smiling in our general direction, clearly she didn’t notice it was midday. She was happy so it wasn’t important, but we did need to get a move on. Trottingham sounded like it would be quite the trip. At the time, I couldn’t even figure out how we would get there in the time span we had. That question however would be answered sooner than I thought, it would also look pretty damned cool as well.
Eventually, after a few minutes of walking we had arrived at our destination. It was a small building with a sign outside which read, ‘General Goods’. I chuckled as I took that out of context and whispered to myself, “Sounds like quite the soldier”. We opened the door and waltzed in, not literally mind you, I haven’t got a clue how to dance so no, I’m not writing that in thank you very much... Yes I know it was a turn of phrase... Anyway, as we entered a bell rang above our head. You know the one right? The typical low budget door sound system alarm... Thing... Heck if I know what it’s called, it sounded and the pony at the till turned their attention our way. They weren't looking directly at us mind you so I figured she had no idea who had just entered her shop, I should have shouted surprise...
”Welcome” The pony shouted from the back, kneeling behind the desk looking for something. Eventually showing their face and then finally looked at us directly. “How may I help you?!” It was a she, and she wasn’t recoiling in shock. To be honest I don’t think she could see us clearly, she was squinting her eyes, straining just to see who had entered her shop. “Forgive me, these eyes aren't what they used to be...” And now to give an accurate physical description of this pony... She was quite old, light pink mane, cream coloured fur. Her Cutie mark was in the shape of a bag, clearly she was a merchant or the general store owner.
“Um, that's fine...” I replied, I was expecting screaming and such. I looked at Trixie who wasn’t as surprised as me, she rolled her eyes and took the helm...
“Well we need some supplies for the trip were making” Trixie informed her, “We’re heading towards Trottingham”
“Oh! So you’ll be taking the train then?” The pony exclaimed, “Either that or it would take two or three days...”
‘Train?’ I thought to myself, ‘No... We have a wagon, we aren't just going to leave it... Are we?’
“That’s right” Trixie responded quickly, “We’ll be leaving shortly, I just need to speak with the driver and we’ll be off!”
Slightly confused, I had begun wandering around the store, whilst Trix was buying whatever she thought we needed. As I did this I could feel the presence of two eyes being fixated on my person, don’t ask me how I knew but I felt like I was being watched by that clerk, it was pretty uncomfortable but I guess she was still unsure about my motives, well it was either that or she was wondering why a pony was walking on their hind legs... Or wearing clothes... I was wondering what would happen to the wagon and why she needed to talk to the guy driving the train, but I’ll explain that later. Anyway, I was looking at what this old mare was selling. The items ranged from plants for salads to medicines for the ill. These were all herbal based of course, it was remarkable how they stored the finished product. I mean we have pills right? Either the solid medicine you swallow or those plastic tubes that dissolve in the stomach. As for these ponies? Well, the herbal medicine was rolled up in leaves, then tied up with a string to keep it inside. You know alchemy right? Mortar and Pestle and all that jazz, that's how they ground it up. Anyway, it seemed like they used leaves for more than just this, like wrapping bread or edible things. They lived in the desert, so I guess they just used what they could.
I turned around for one moment to see Trixie waiting for the clerk to fetch something down for her as she continued to browse around. As for the clerk? Well, she was struggling to grasp something just out of reach. She was an earth pony, no magic and she couldn’t fly to reach it. I began to walk up to where she was and could see what she was reaching for, it was a suit of some sort. I didn’t think about it too much and so I reached up and grabbed it for the senior mare, she was very grateful.
“Oh! Thank you!” she responded, as I handed her this quite large costume. It was in two half's, about my size, yet it was supposed to fit two ponies inside. The lady turned to Trixie, “Is that everything young lady?”
This confused me slightly, I mean Trixie had decided to buy this costume which, I slowly realised, looked like- No, it WAS a giant chicken. It was a giant freaking chicken suit! She handed her money over to the clerk and passed me the suit to carry, she took the smaller bag containing her shopping of course.
“Oh I do worry about what you have planned...” I muttered quietly, as we headed out of the shop.
We said our goodbyes to the merchant pony and headed back to the wagon, I knew I had to ask about the suit but I already had a good idea of what she would say... Though at the time I prayed it wasn’t what I thought...
“So Trix... What’s with the suit?” I asked nonchalantly, carefully inspecting the costume in my arms. “It looks as if its for two peo- Uh, ponies”
“That's because it is...” Trixie stated plainly, she turned to me with a smile “Well, it Was anyway...”
That made me stop in my tracks, “Was?” I questioned, “Trix, what on earth are you planning?” She ignored me... Of course...
I shook my head and resumed walking behind her, upon arriving at the wagon I stored the suit in a spare cupboard. It was next to the food storage, it was pretty much empty, well except for her cloak and hat just hanging there. Oh wait, I might have forgotten to mention this but she only wears that during her shows. When she’s out and about she doesn’t, she wears nothing like most ponies in this world. I still find that fact pretty weird to be honest... Ha! Just had a thought, you know when people say you should imagine people to be naked in nervous situations? Yeah well that wouldn’t work in their world, they were all naked and I was still nervous...
It occurred to me at the time that we were stocking up the wagon with supplies, yet we were heading to Trottingham via train. I headed outside and inspected the wagon, I had a hunch. I walked to the front of the and had a look at the frame, it had the strangest thing on the front. It was a rail connector that would usually be found on train carts, then I moved to the wooden wheels. I got down to the ground and noticed a circular piece of metal on the inner half of the wheel, it was a train wheel. I’m not even kidding, I began to question how she got her hooves on something like this without money. It would make for a good question on our trip to Trottingham, so I decided to keep that for the train.
I could hear some fumbling around inside the wagon, then the wagon had begun to move. I jumped back in shock and took several paces back, Trixie just stared at me from the driver's seat and asked me, “Are you coming?”
“Trixie....” I began, as I jumped onto the moving wagon and took my seat next to her. “What on earth have you got planned?”
“I’m sure you can figure out that yourself” She replied, “You're not as stupid as you make out to be...”
I stared back at her in complete confusion, “Um, thanks?” It was a compliment, it was just how she said it... It Sounded a bit strange...
We didn’t say anything for a while, she just rolled the wagon slowly through the town. Eventually we got to the station and she pulled up, I got off first so that when she lowered it to the ground I didn’t go flying. She then walked up to the train conductor at the station, who after a short talk led her to the front of the train. I had no idea what she was up to, I just leaned on the wagon as I awaited her return. It gave me more time to think about the past couple of days there, mainly the more pressing issues that were at hand.
Who were her parents?
Why does she seem to dislike her parents?
Did something happen in Las Pegasus?
Did it stay in Las Pegasus?
Why did she decide to hit the road and entertain the land, freelance style?
Heck, I had many questions and hoped they would be answered in time. Tray seemed to think that she shouldn’t be bombarded with questions, yet when I asked her questions in the saloon she answered. Uncertain she may have been about sharing this information but she was slowly opening up to me, I guess we did have a crazy first couple of days. I’m still surprised she let me tag along, then of course you have the other side of the coin. I could be in ponyville, living it up Pinkie Pie style. Or perhaps I could have been targeted with questions by Twi and Spike about what I was and where I came from? Maybe I could have climbed some trees and grabbed some apples? Or met some friendly wildlife? All these Ideas and yet I threw them aside for answers of my own, who was Trixie really? I used to think she was an obnoxious blabbermouth who bragged about herself no end, it was strange to see that whole concept being flipped on its head let me tell you. Yet there I was, travelling with that same pony who had clearly changed...
The driver of the train came out, walked straight past me, inspected the wagon by circling it, then turned to Trixie and gave a nod. He then turned around back towards the train and swiftly walked straight past me again, completely blanking me from his view. I was a tad confused but I guess he had important matters to attend to, like driving the train maybe? I shrugged it off, then witnessed as Trixie carefully lifted the wagon onto the tracks which was then connected securely to the last passenger cart on the end with its connector... Thing... I can’t explain what it looked like, just imagine a claw and a pin, that was pretty much all it was...
“Ok, we’re all set!” Trixie announced as she began walking towards me, “Ok, you had better get in”
“Okie Dokie!” I replied with enthusiasm, I had never been on a passenger cart before, let alone a train. “How much are tickets?”
“Wha- Oh!?” Trixie spluttered, initially confused by my answer she began to elaborate. “No, I mean you had better get in the wagon, we wouldn’t want everypony panicking again would we?”
“But my presence in this world is recognised by now right? Surely it would be ok?” I reasoned, I just wanted to ride in the train. It wasn’t exactly a massive request, I just wanted to feel some normality for a change. “C’mon, what's the worst that could happen?”
“You know they would just panic like before!” Trixie quipped, slowly this conversation was turning into an argument. “Just wait in the wagon, we’re heading to a city so It will be a lot more crowded-”
“No, I don’t think I will” I interrupted swiftly, “I’m getting tired of hiding when we head somewhere new... In Fact, I bet when we get there, news of my existence will have gotten there and they will welcome me with open arms-”
“I highly doubt that” Trixie interrupted me, this conversation just screamed ‘cross-counter!’ “I’m not buying another ticket, just get in the wagon...”
Her face was adamant, holding her ground she gave me that look that said, ‘Just do it...’ I eventually gave up and complied unhappily, “Ugh fine...” I walked off, I was rather irritated. I Jumped onto the wagon, then I made my way inside. Yes, it was an argument about something as simple as that. Grabbing my sleeping bag I laid it down and got comfy, or tired to at least. I grabbed a spare pillow and rested my head, ‘Maybe I could get some shut eye at least...’ I thought to myself, I started to doze off and I was looking on the bright side. You know, like its not that bad? Or my most used catch phrase, ‘Could be worse...’
“Last Call!” I heard someone shout outside, I assumed it was one of the workers shouting to anyone else who wanted to board the train. It wasn’t loud enough to distract me from my sleep, I gave a yawn and began to fall into the sandman's hands... Until it happened. The train's whistle gave an almighty screech and I shot up like a mousetrap, I gave a short scream and then realised how bad that just sounded, but no one heard it so it was all good... Oh wait, No! It was a manly scream I swear! Like the Spartans! No, This... Is... Patrick! Oh who am I kidding...
The train got moving and I was jittering around like a child, it was pretty bumpy... There wasn’t a chance in hell was I going to get a good night sleep like that, so I ignored Trixie’s warning and bolted. I jumped out of the wagon, climbed to the front and hoped the gap to the end cart. It went pretty well, I didn’t die for a start. I carefully slid the door open and kept as low as possible, metal gear style. It wasn’t necessary however, the whole passenger cart was empty. Have you ever seen the Train in Harry Potter? The passenger seats are kind of separated in those little rooms, with the two windows beside the door. It was exactly like that, and as I carefully made my way forward, I peeked in to make sure no one was in. It was clear as I had said previously, but I wasn’t so sure at the time. I deemed it clear and was about to take a seat, but my curiosity got the better of me. Something in the back of my head said to me, ‘Continue onwards... You know you want too...’ I laughed to myself, “That’ some good thinking brain, Let's roll!” I whispered, as I made my way to the next cart. This one was slightly occupied, one room was being used, the rest were fine. I didn’t learn this however until I walked past an open door leading to the room they were in.
“Hey stranger” A random voice said behind me, I panicked and reversed slowly, then looked towards who was addressing me, “Yeah you, you want to join in?”
This pony, No. This senior colt, was offering me to join in on their game, he wasn’t even looking at me. In fact, none of them were! Their eyes were fixated on their card game, with a shrug of my shoulders I took a seat and grabbed the cards on the table in front of me. “Sure, I’m game...” I was surprised, they were playing a variation of poker. I think its called five card draw, basically you start with five cards and you decide how many cards you wanted to discard for new ones. You did this this only twice, after that you show your hand. Oh, but you still have the two cards in the middle of the table like in Texas hold 'em. It was rather fun, we weren't gambling so it was just a friendly match... And they never looked at me during the entire game...
As for what they looked like, they had the same colour fur and mane. The main differences were their eyes and headwear, to be quick and concise I gave them nicknames. They did however sound a lot like Yu-Gi-Oh cards, this was the best way to remember them. So Here we go...
1. The Red eyed Top hat
2. The Magenta Monocle
3. The Blue Beret
All of them were elderly and had very strange fashion senses... All this coming from a guy who wears a green woolly hat at an angle so that the red tag is inline with his left eye. At that point I regretted not wearing my black fedora when I went through the portal, I would have looked classy...
Now this card game went on for a good 2 hours, I knew that fact because it was getting dark rather quickly. I realised I had to find somewhere to sleep eventually, the wagon was still a no go at the time. It was the last game I had before I was interrupted, I had a damn good set of cards. I was one card away from a winning hand, I knew that much for sure...
“He he, you got no chance...” Red eyes boasted, in fact that was the first bit of boasting I had heard since I had arrived in their world.
“Don’t get too ahead of yourself...” Monocle quipped back, “You haven’t won anything yet...”
Beret was the quiet one, or seemed to be at least. He just sat there hiding his face beneath his hat. All you could see was a smirk, quite the shady character.
All three of them laid their cards on the table, some good hands sure.... But mine was just a tad more spectacular...
“Nick!” I heard a familiar voice shout at me, “I thought I told you to stay in the wagon!”
“Yeah yeah, would you hang on a sec?” I replied with a great lack of emotion, as I took my hand of cards and slammed it on the table, “Read it and Weep!” I shouted with glee, this was truly a triumphant moment.
The senior ponies all recoiled in shock and awe, even Mr Beret. “How in Equestria did a young colt manage that?!” He shouted, then it happened. The old ponies finally, Finally looked up at in complete synchronicity and saw a strange creature they had never seen before. “What in the name of Celestia...”
“Ha! Royal flush for the win!” I chanted as I started dancing around happily in my seat, “Oh yeah, I’m Human by the way... That was fun!”
Trixie shook her head irritably, “He’s not a danger” She said to the ponies, then looked towards me. “And I thought I told you to stay put!”
“Have you actually been in the wagon during these trips before?!” I replied swiftly, “There is no chance I’m getting any sleep in there, I figured that out and started exploring... Then these guys asked if I wanted to join in with their card game... The rest you can kind of figure out...”
“Well I’ll be, you sure showed us a thing or two...” Blue beret said, turned out this colt wasn’t as quiet as I thought initially. “Where In Equestria did you come from?”
“Well...” I began as I looked at these elder colts, I told them everything. How I got there, where I was from, my age, gender. The whole shebang! It took a while to go over, by the time I was finished it was dark... And I was yawning...
“I’d better get some shut eye, thanks for the game!” I said happily, they waved to me and I walked out of the room. I looked to my right and Trixie was sitting on the floor, nodding off by the looks of it, “Hey, you awake sleepy head?”
“Of course...” Trixie replied with a tired yawn, “Let's find a room and get some rest for now...” She wasn’t as annoyed with me like before, figured I could at least ask her that before we slept.
“Not mad at me? I’m kind of surprised...” I said, scratching my head with confusion. “...Thought I’d be getting a lecture for not staying in the wagon...”
“It’s noisy...” Trixie stated, at first I wasn’t sure what she meant by that. She did however see the confusion in my face and reworded that statement, “I went to the wagon, It was noisy and unbearable... Sorry...”
“Whoa hang on” I began as I put my back on the wall and let myself slide down it, “You had no idea what it was like in there during these trips, I don’t blame you for asking me to stay put...”
“But-” Trixie tried to respond, but I interrupted her response.
“But nothing, just do me a favour though” I began, Trixie nodded in confirmation. “Just trust me a little more, I know what I’m doing... I wouldn’t do anything stupid enough to endanger myself, my cover or the people and ponies around me... That’s a promise...”
Trixie looked at the floor for and we just sat there for a while, I was thinking about my remaining days in their world. Also whether or not I’d actually figure this filly out, everything else wasn’t as important as finding this out. I turned to Trixie with yet another question, “Hey Trixie, what are your parents li- Uh, Trix?” But she was counting sheep quite peacefully, I sighed and picked her up. She wasn’t light at all, even with the size ratio. I found an empty room and dragged her into it, laid her onto the seat and then fell onto the opposite side, tired and exhausted I rested my head onto the wall and began to nod off. I made sure it was the empty room nearest to the wagon, just incase I had to bolt and make a quick escape.
Trottingham was turning out to be quite the trip, when I finally woke up the sun was just peering over the landscapes, I realised we were still moving. I looked to my left where I had placed Trixie, she was gone, she’d vanished, poof! I peered my head through the doorway and looked down the hallway carefully, unknowing if any ponies were in the area at the time. There were a few walking around, but I wasn’t sure whether or not to make a break for it. I could have gone all metal gear and sneaked back, but I still had no idea how much longer I would be travelling for.
I carefully tried to signal to a certain showpony, “Trix!” I whispered, but to no avail. I decided it was best to hide if I couldn’t move around safely, so I did the manliest thing I could think of, I hid under the table. This was supposed to be a temporary form of cover, until I fell asleep. What felt like moments later, I suddenly had a certain ponies hoofs go flying into my face, which answered my question from earlier. “Ach! Trix! That hurt!”
“W-what!?” Trixie stuttered, as she started fumbling around wondering where I was. Eventually she put her head under the table and recoiled when she noticed me in such a way that she bumped her head, I laughed. This turned out to be a mistake, as I crawled out from under the table a small bag of something whacked me in the face. “Now were even” She said with a smirk, I got comfy and opened the bag. Doughnuts! It was a moment of sheer brilliance, I dug in without second thought and Trixie looked at me like I was a crazy person. “Do you have to eat like that?”
“Y-es A Do!” I spluttered, accidentally launching shards of the doughnut towards Trixie’s face. I took a gulp to clear my throat before responding again, “He he, sorry...”
Briskly wiping the nutted-dough from her face, she looked out the window with lost eyes. I wasn’t sure she really had a plan when she started travelling, free as a bird was what came to mind. I envy that, every now and again in our world I’ll see a bird and I’ll think to myself, ‘You lucky sod, you’re not tied down anywhere’ I hate that feeling of confinement, yet it's a lifestyle I’m very used to...
“So Trix... What was it like in Las Pegasus?” I asked Trixie, curiosity got the better of me. “You must have had some friends there as a kid right?”
“... I did” Trixie replied, unsure as to where this was heading. “They were on the outskirts though...”
“Outskirts? You mean out of town?” I quizzed, this was going somewhere. “Why not inside Las Pegasus itself?”
“Because they couldn’t afford to...” Trixie stated, “It’s not cheap living there, most can’t even afford to get in...”
“Whoa hang on! They charge you to let you in?!” This was quite shocking to say the least, I mean at the time I thought it was quite a free and helpful world. Yet somewhere had shown such greed for something so trivial, well to me it was anyway. “Was it expensive?”
Trixie nodded, “I often travelled outside to entertain the less fortunate ponies who weren't allowed to enter... However...” She said, unsure whether to continue or not...
“However?” I probed, this was definitely heading somewhere...
“My parents tried to stop me, they said it was ‘Bad for Business’. I didn’t care though, I just sneaked out...” She continued, I was surprised she was telling me any of this... ”I would entertain my friends with the magic I had learnt, as well as use some tricks I picked up at the time... I did that for a while...”
“What happened after that?” I questioned, this was getting interesting.
“Eventually the ponies on the outskirts couldn’t stay there any longer and had to go, they lived in wagons and chose to live where they wanted... They were free... Unlike-”
“Unlike you right?” I interrupted, she nodded at me to confirm this fact. There was a lot of nodding going on, reminded me of those bobble-heads you can still get. “So... What? You took a wagon, some money and bolted from town? No, wait... You probably thought it through better than that...”
“Actually...” She began, “That's exactly what I did...” My reaction can be summed up by the sound of ‘Huh...’ Trixie however did have more to say on this subject, “My parents had several to spare, not to mention the money they made...”
“So... What were your parents like?” I asked her, it was the question I think she dreaded the most.
That same silence loomed again, her eyes were shifting left and right. However, a few moments later... “Greedy...” Trixie uttered under her breath, I heard it clear as day but I felt the need to confirm it.
“Did... Did you just say greedy?” I questioned, seemed like quite a negative view to start off with... She seemed to seethe at the sheer mention of her parents, I thought it was best to, once again, back off. “... Ok, so how did they make their money then?”
This seemed like quite a stupid question at first but I asked ‘How’, meaning I wanted to know the method of how they obtained that wealth. I knew they were entertainers, but not how they went about it. The answer would ironically tick me off entirely...
“My parents were a double act” Trixie began, sighing as she went on to explain, “My mother was a unicorn but was useless when it came to magic. As for my father he was an earth pony, they used anything but magic... Illusions, smoke and mirrors, sleight of hoof, quick reactions...” Trixie turned back to the window, she looked slightly irritated, “But they still called it ‘Magic’...”
Now folks, I’m going to explain something which I’ve only really touched upon very briefly. In the human world, we have these performers who entertain us and make us recoil in shock and awe, even make us cry with laughter. How they do it doesn’t bother me too much, I mean as long as they say what it is it’s ok right? The main thing that irritates me the most however is when they call it something that it isn’t, like calling an illusion ‘Magic’. I know damned well that it’s not magic, because in our world it’s not something that exists. Magic is a fictional work of genius, it opens up a new view on the world with wondrous eyes. It’s something that can’t be explained, its something we’ve all heard of before. If you have seen anything or read anything to do with magic you’ll get what I’m saying, It’s when someone says something is magic when clearly it isn’t, that’s when I get most irritated. So what if a tractor ran you over in front of a live stage? It wasn’t magic, it was a bloody forklift truck lifting it behind the curtain, it was technology! Oh, what’s this? You sawed someone in half? Magic you say!? No, No its not! Its a bloody illusion, get over yourself... A card trick? *gasp* My card?! B-But how!? NO! Sleight of hand you cursed fool! Stop calling it Magic when it clearly isn't!!!
...Wow, when I want to I guess I can rant just like an old man...
Well, as soon as Trixie said that ‘M’ word, I began to twitch with utter and complete aggravation. ‘Trixie used magic’ I thought to myself, ‘Yet they're the ones taking all the credit!’ However once I calmed down a tad I realised something which caused my irritation of this very pony who was sitting in front of me, It was so obvious at the time I felt like banging my head against the table.
“...Trix” I began, resting my head in an open hand. “I don’t suppose you boasted all that time to seem more spectacular than your parents did you? To try and take them down a notch?” Silence was the answer, that nail took a swift stroke to the head. It made sense, plus when I thought about it more it pieced together so perfectly. Doing that for so long made her forget how to act as herself, she was so busy trying to make herself more well known than her parents she forgot herself in the process! Then when Miss Sparkle completely showed her up she panicked, headed out of town...
“...What are you, a detective now?” Trixie eventually replied, sighing as she confirmed what I just figured out. “It’s true, during that time I almost forgot who I was... Got showed up in a town... Attempted to carry on with everyone looking down at me... And then I met you...”
“I see...” I said nonchalantly, though in my mind I was screaming, ‘I was right! Yes!’ My eyes were averted as I could hear Hoofsteps coming closer to our room, “Oh Snap!” I whispered as I saw a shadow approaching the door. As I quickly dived under the table, Trixie stared in confusion until she too looked at the doorway at the pony checking the room. It was a reporter of some kind, with one of those reporter style hats. It’s Cutie mark was an ink bottle, member of the press I guessed...
“Excuse me you two- Oh” The pony stopped mid sentence, looking around the room to see only one pony. “I’m sorry, I thought I heard two voices... Anyway, would you like to buy a newspaper? It’s Only one bit!”
“Oh, sure!” Trixie replied as she flick a coin into the air. The pony caught it and put it into his small side bag, he then took a newspaper out of his other side bag, slightly bigger than the other, and then passed it to Trixie. “Here ya go, thanks for the business!”
The reporter walked away and continued his business, I clambered out from underneath and sighed for relief. “Wow, that was close...” I uttered, still trying to keep my voice down to stop it from happening again. “Why did you buy that?”
Another short silence, those were getting quite old at the time. She looked rather intrigued and eventually passed it over to me, I soon realised I may have caused quite a stir for it to have happened...
“... Princess Celestia’s Surprise visit to Dodge Junction...” I said half heartedly, realising what was happening. I had to ask the obvious question, ” Huh... Do you think she’s-”
“Following us?” Trixie interrupted, knowing exactly what I was about to say. “I think you know the answer to that one...”
“Just thought I’d ask out loud...” I replied, slowly I turned the page to see what else was happening in the world. “He he, this is a lot better... Check this out”
I passed the paper back to Trixie and her face smiled just as mine did, “The town’s folk of Dodge Junction were visited by the mysterious creature which was recently spotted in Appleloosa. At first they fled to their homes, but surprisingly the creature was extremely friendly” Trixie stopped reading out loud as her eyes scanned down the page, “It seems you're becoming more than a mystery now at least...”
“At least they know I’m not a danger now, might make things a bit easier around here...” I stated, I looked out of the window into the distance and could see civilisation. This wasn’t a town, it was a city! It was humongous in size and stature, as we got ever closer I could see how neat and perfect the buildings were inline with each other. This place was in the middle of a desert and yet it looked amazing, I would have loved to look at it more at the time but I slowly realised I shouldn’t be on the train...
“Oh right... I’d better split...” I uttered out loud, I grabbed the newspaper from the table to read while I waited in the wagon. “See you in a few” I said to Trixie, waving as I left. As I walked past the rooms I placed the newspaper in my face, concealing it as best I could... I made it without any problems, I hopped in the back and laid on my sleeping bag for the next few moments.
The train whistled and began to slow down, I peeked out of the window and there must have been five times the amount of ponies than at Dodge Junction and Appleloosa put together! I honestly had no idea how big this place was, I had only heard of it because of Pipsqueak. Well, not from him exactly but he was from there right? We had stopped moving, moments later the wagon began to glow a shiny light shade of blue as Trixie began to lift it off the tracks, it felt pretty weird but when it landed I was glad to be on solid ground again.
I heard hoof-steps in the front and then we started moving, I continued to look out of the window and it seemed as if the ponies were watching the cart. This confused me slightly but then again, perhaps they knew where I was hiding? I checked the newspaper and scanned down the page for anything related to a wagon, low and behold there it was...
‘This strange creature appears to be travelling with a freelance show pony who has been identified as ‘Trixie’, helping this filly on their travels using a wagon which originated from Las Pegasus. Sources believe that they are offering ‘Free Entertainment’ as witnessing ponies didn’t have to pay anything for the show, we talked to some of the ponies and asked them their opinions of this creature...
“At first everypony was terrified of it! But after a while it appeared to be laughing and having fun...”
‘Anonymous’
“It didn’t seem that bad, it was chased by some fillies but it was laughing the entire time! I think it was enjoying itself...”
‘Anonymous’
“If anyone meets it, don’t panic. For the love of Celestia don’t panic, this human isn’t something to be afraid of, I’ve met him before and let me tell you, this kid is alright...”
S.T.
Kid... Yeah, guess who said that... “Huh, so they know what we’re travelling in...” I said to myself, I got up and walked over to the storage cupboard where my suit was and put it on. I didn’t have much choice, plus I needed to feel the weight of the thing and see how well I could move around in it. It wasn’t that bad actually, the headpiece felt slightly more weighted but I could deal with that. I was jumping around the place so much I hadn’t even realised we had stopped, I gave myself a break before I began sweating in the suit. It wasn’t very thick but it built a lot of heat up from all the movement, I took it off and sat on the floor.
“What are you doing?” Trixie asked, confused as to what I was attempting. “If you do that you won't have any energy for the show...”
“Yeah well... I needed to find out... What wearing it was like...” I said as I panted, “Besides, we have some time... Right?”
“Actually while you were, dancing around, I was preparing the stage and decorations...” Trixie informed me, I got up and carefully peeked outside and took a look around. Banners, lights, she had it all ready to go. “As soon as you catch your breath we can begin...”
“Thanks for the warning...” I said sarcastically, “So, what’s the routine this time? You want me to start dancing on the stage. I could probably pull off a handstand...”
“It will be the same as Dodge Junction” Trixie began, then looking at me with a smirk on her face. “Except we have a giant dancing chicken this time...”
“Oh how grand... Well at least they won't run away like scared children this time...” I remarked, “Hopefully...”
We both laughed and got to work, I was back to manning the levers which controlled everything light powered, as well as operating the rope pulley for the main curtain. I peeked outside and there were a lot of ponies stopping to see what was going on, there was at least one hundred of them. I wish I was kidding but this place was huge! I've not even been to Nottingham, the place it's based on, yet at the time I just knew it must have been around the same size. Everypony was wearing clothes, top hats, monocles, it had such a business style to the place it was captivating. I even saw a couple of bowler hats, heard a strangely familiar tone of voice which sounded strangely reminiscent to the ‘Cockney’ accent.
I chuckled and broke into song, “Maybe It’s because I’m a Londoner, That I love London taaaaaaaawn” Not caring who heard me or what I sounded like, it was worth the strange look I got from Trixie. ‘Huh, perhaps I should check Nottingham out one day...’ I thought to myself, as I got the signal from Trixie and I began moving the levers for the lights.
“Welcome to Trixie’s Free Travelling Entertainment!” Trixie shouted clearly and concisely, it was an introduction that I hadn’t heard before. It was catchy, T.F.T.E. “I have come here to entertain and mesmerise!”
Then the routine began, some of it I had seen before but there were some new tricks as well. At one point she tipped some sand on the the stage and made it come to life, it took on the shape of an earth pony and began to walk around. Ok it wasn’t really brought to life but it appeared to be, then she poured water next to this pile, and also brought it to life. She was straining, I think she had been practicing this for a while but it was still quite tricky to pull off. The water took on the form of a unicorn, it then suddenly turned into ice and froze in place. The sand turned to rock as well, it truly was an earth pony. I got the cue for the first wave of fireworks and launched them, shouting as I did it “Fox 1! Fox 2!”
The fireworks flew into the air, it was spectacular! It looked like a Pegasus! I’m not even kidding, it was flapping its wings and everything! Eventually they exploded in mid air, spreading many different colours into the sky. The crowd ‘Oohed’ and ‘Awed’ In amazement, at the time I wanted to remind myself how and where she got those from, but this thought would have to wait. I got the main signal and dived into the chicken suit, “I can’t believe I’m doing this...” I said to myself, I hated crowds. Especially ones this big, but to help out Trixie I just took a deep breath and did what I always did in stressful situations, act like a total fool...
Trixie set off a smoke bomb and I jumped onto the stage, assuming a position to my human like rituals. As soon as the smoke cleared I began, “Everyday I’m Shuffling!” I shouted as I began to dance like the crazy human I am, Trixie saw me and face-hoofed. I was in tears and couldn’t stop laughing, I looked at the ponies who were staring at me with confusion in their faces. They thought it was two ponies in a suit, if it was then it would be darned hard work to pull off what I was doing. I attempted juggling at one point, but I ended up with a ball to the face. It didn’t matter much as the crowd found this hilarious, then I moved onto something I hadn’t tried properly before, a hand stand.
I began by clapping my hands and kneeling down onto the ground, began to roll and stopped halfway and then extended my hands and hay presto! I managed to pull it off barely, my arms were shaking trying to hold my weight. I don’t know why I did this next or why I thought it was a good idea but I began to walk on my hands, it seemed however that earlier on, when putting the suit on, I had forgotten to secure the heavy head piece properly. It fell off onto the stage and the weight had completely put me off balance, I fell forwards onto my back and yelped as I winded myself. I tried to get up briskly and grab my head before it was too late, but alas, they had spotted what I was.
Those staring eyes struck me down once again, I froze in place. I didn’t know what to do, I tried talking but this time I found myself incapable of speech. I was a shaking wreck and couldn’t stop my eye from twitching, luckily Trixie jumped in to save the day! Kind of...
“It’s ok, he’s not dangerous. He’s just-” Trixie began to explain but was interrupted by a screaming pedestrian.
“A Monster! Run!” A colt shouted, the crowd stampeded away from the stage. You could feel the earth shaking beneath your feet, within moments I had witnessed the same scenario three times in a row.
Trixie stamped her hoof onto the stage, “Oh for the love of Celestia...” She began, suddenly her ears perked as she remembered something, “Oh yeah, seems like you lost the bet...”
“Good thing I didn’t bet anything then huh?” I said, after finally calming down enough to speak proper English and becoming capable of constructing a sentence. “Well, it’s not like I didn’t see it coming...”
We both looked at each other and started laughing out loud in this now silent and empty city center, this was turning out to be quite the experience for both of us...
The Standard and Normal Human: One : Meeting T.G.A.P. Trixie
The Attempted but Not so Great Escape
The Standard and Normal Human6
And so there I sat on the cold metal the floor of the cage I was in, unsure as to what on earth a talking lion was doing in the cell next to me. In hindsight perhaps I shouldn’t have panicked like I did? I mean it’s a talking animal, I’m pretty sure I had seen plenty up to this point. But a lion? A small one at that, responding to my question so casually and swiftly. I lowered my hand and got back up from the floor, then took my seat and tried to get my head around this whole situation...
“So uh... Lion’s can talk?” I asked, a stupid question I know but I had a theory. “I guess I shouldn’t be so surprised...”
“That you shouldn’t, you're a curious creature aren't you?” The Lion asked, tilting its head and then lying on the floor still facing me.
“I didn’t expect to see one this small though-” I had begun to say, saying this however didn’t go so well...
“Who are YOU Calling Small!?” the miniscule lion shouted at me, clearly this rubbed him the wrong way. “An Ant Only visible through a glass lens!”
‘I... I Didn’t say that...’ I thought to myself, the more he blubbered on about his size the more I could see a resemblance between the lion and Edward Elric. Heck even the voice sounded familiar, in fact from now on just replace the lions voice with his. “I’m... I’m sorry?”
He calmed down enough to see my confusion, eventually he asked me very bluntly, “What are you?”
“I’m a human”, I informed the talking lion, “I’m also not from this world and need to get back soon... Which is going to be a problem if I’m stuck in this cage...”
“That it is... So... What’s your name?” It quizzed me, I think it was as curious as me.
“It’s Nick, what about you?” Apparently conversations with lion’s counts as normal around here, “What do they call you? Aslan?” I laughed as I asked this, considering there is only one talking lion I know of in fiction it would have to do...
At this point it would be a good idea to describe this lion, mainly because you're probably imagining a huge goliath of a lion when actually it was rather small. It was just as big as Trixie, it had sharp teeth, small but sharp claws, a short scruffy tail and what appeared to be red paint marked on his face, it was almost as if he was from a tribe or something. In fact he reminded me of Red XIII from final fantasy, I was going to ask him how he got away from Shin-ra but this of course would have been stupid...
“I’m- Wait, what?” The Lion, who apparently wasn’t called Aslan, replied. “Who is Aslan?”
“Oh right... Human references...” I took a deep breath and tried to give a serious answer. “It’s a fictional character from my world, it’s a talking lion”
“Oh, ok then...” It shrugged it off and gave a loud yawn, clearly it was tired. “No, my name is Curtclaw...”
Now before you ask, the word ‘Curt’ can also mean ‘Small’. Due to his size and stature he was obviously given a name that would suit him, it wasn’t that bad actually. I don't think he knew what that meant however, it’s kind of ironic...
“Huh, well it’s nice to meet you Curt!” I said with a smile, desperately trying to forget the situation I was in.
“No, my name is Curtclaw...” It repeated, thinking I was ignoring it.
“I know, I thought it was a good nickname...” I said, shrugging as I did. He brought up his paw to his face and scratched his chin, clearly he was thinking about something.
“... Fine, Curt it is...” The young lion replied, this was going to be a lot more normal using actual names. Actually, I’m still trying to get my head around how they name ponies, it just seems bizarre to me...
We began to talk about our own predicaments, I tried to explain that I was in their world for 4 days and that I would have to get out of there real soon and back to my own. As for why? Well, I explained that as well. You see I’m not the kind of person to be late for work, that means that someone would have probably been sent to my house, then we have my best friend. I was supposed to see him that week but instead a magical journey started happening instead, forget work and forget my boss, explaining this to him would be unbelievably difficult.
Then we have Curt, he explained what happened up to this point in time. Some parts he seemed to try and get around, almost as if he didn’t want me to hear them. I’ll give the summary anyway... He’s part of a small tribe, Ironically called the ‘Fang Gang’. He was just one part of this strange group of lions, they hunted for their meals and protected the young and elderly from danger. Well I say hunted, they went fishing. What? Surprised? Need I remind you that it’s a child’s world? Not to mention that lions are technically cats... Anyway, Curt was out hunting by a river, which was just outside their tribes territory. This wasn’t in Equestria by the way, it was on the outskirts of the Griffin Empire. According to him he encountered a strange creature but didn’t say what it looked like, all except it’s glowing green eyes, this was what I meant by him keeping details quiet. They talked for a while and then went their separate ways, it was friendly apparently so it knew it wasn’t a danger. Days later, making that same trip to the river, he noticed a small ball of yarn...
Have you ever seen a cat and a ball of yarn before? Cats love them, unfortunately however it was a trap set by Mr Lunamoon himself. As soon as Curt approached that ball of yarn a cage appeared beneath him, it was like a bear trap but it interlocked as it closed shut. This trapped him and he was then dragged away from his familiar land against his will, he had been trying to escape the entire time he was held captive. Each time he failed...
“I’m afraid I don’t know how we can get out of this mess...” I began, speaking out loud. “I just hope Trixie tries to track me down...”
“Trixie?” Curt asked, tilting his head ever so slightly.
I explained who she was... And everything else that followed...
(You see these lines? Well, this is to say that I wasn’t there for the conversations and events which followed afterwards. This is because I wasn’t there, I do have to say however that I was told all of this after everything was resolved. Which is why I’m writing about it now... Does that make sense? Ok, I’ll put it this way, its a change of perspective...)
Trixie was still talking to Flam back at the wagon, she was going on about her parents in detail...
“They don’t care as long as they make money!” Trixie was ranting, they were sitting in the middle of the wagon around table and chairs. “I don’t want to leave Nick on his own with ‘them’ in town... I’ve seen what they do...”
“As long as Flim is with him he’s fine” Flam reassured, sipping his cup with delight. “Besides, from what I’ve read this human isn’t that bad...”
Then, out of the blue, Flam asked something he was truly confused by.
“So, why is this human with you then?” He began, placing his cup back onto the table and bringing his hooves together. “He could have gone straight to the princess or even explored the land, so why did he decide to help you?”
Trixie looked down at the table, collected her thoughts and delivered them slowly and concisely. “When he first arrived... We didn’t exactly get off to a good start...” She began to explain, Flam’s eyebrow raised with curiosity as Trixie continued. “... All I was thinking about was myself and my own mission to become more renowned than my parents, I talked to him like some kind of wild animal... Yet he refused with such admiration...”
“Admiration?” Flam questioned, “What makes you say that?”
“He didn’t back down or give up as I tried to manipulate him for my own personal gain... All he wanted to do was find a way back home”. Trixie picked up her cup and took a sip, gave a loud sigh and then placed it back onto the table. “That’s something I could never do as a child... I couldn’t go against my parents wishes, that’s why I ran away...”
“As well as trying to become bigger than they are...” Flam added as he slowly curled his moustache in his hoof... Yeah, don’t ask me how he did that by the way... “From the sounds of it though it seems like you disliked each other to begin with...”
“Well I was trying to control him and he was mocking my magical ability...” Trixie informed Flam, he tilted nodded to show he followed. “Eventually I snapped and I ran back to my wagon to... To... Cry my eyes out...”
“And what about him?” Flam asked, trying to see both sides of this story. “What did he do after this?”
“Well... Eventually he found me... And then apologised to me...” Trixie explained, looking around the room as she said it. “He then stated that he would make it up to me... He then told me he would help me with my show, until he needed to get back home anyway...”
“What a remarkable creature...” Flam elaborated carefully, “He did all that because he was sorry?”
Trixie nodded, “It’s been quite the adventure with him alongside me... Perhaps I should ask him to stay?-” Trixie added but was interrupted by Flams brother barging in on their commute.
“Brother!” Flim shouted, clearly he was in distress. “Do you... Do you have the keys to the machine?”
Flam began searching his pockets rapidly, his face soon changed to the same as his brother as he couldn’t find them. “I was sure I put them away... We need to head back!”
Flam leaped from his chair and they rushed outside out the wagon by diving through the curtains, Trixie was still sitting down in disbelief, completely baffled by what was going on. Then like a coconut it hit her, Flim wasn’t with me, she gasped and charged outside to follow the brothers in a desperate attempt to confirm something that truly worried her, but shortly after this she stopped dead in her tracks. In the distance she could see a familiar tent, it sent shivers down her spine. This however turned very quickly from fear to motivation, she began to run again with a lot more hop in her step.
“It’s ok brother, nothing is missing...” Flim announced with relief as he looked around the wagon and machine, sighing when he realised nothing was wrong he then sat down where he stood.
“Thank goodness” Flam added, sighing alongside his brother. Suddenly Flam’s ears perked up, he could hear something approaching... Fast! He turned his head and could see Trixie charging towards the pair of them, “Trixie? Is something wrong?”
“Where is he?!” She shouted, with a strikingly worried look on her face.
“Where is who?” Flim questioned, however this confusion didn’t last long. “Oh, I left Nick at the carnival, I gave him some money to see a show-”
“You silly Foal!” Flam interrupted swiftly, “You left him on his own?!”
“I did, what seems to be the problem?” Flim asked, clearly not as well informed as Flam.
You see this was the problem back when it happened, Trixie and Flam talked about her parents in detail. Flim wasn’t exactly around for those conversations, he basically drew the short straw. So all of those times Trixie told Flam what her parents were like, doing whatever they could to get what they wanted by ‘Any Means Necessary’, Flim truly had absolutely no idea what they were like or even what they were capable of...
Trixie and Flam explained the situation to him as swiftly as they could, not missing out any details. Slowly but surely he was understanding how bad this really was... Until eventually...
“Enough!” Flim announced, “Let’s find him before they do!”
This of course was too late...
“So... She was annoying?” Curt asked me, trying to follow the tale I was telling. “And now you're travelling with her?”
I nodded, “That’s correct! 10 points to Mufasa!”
“... Please can you stop calling me random names...” He replied, face-pawing himself with embarrassment, “Just call me Curt...”
“Fine fine... But that’s the short version...” I added, trying to balance my chair on its back legs as I began to swing slightly.
“So why did you forgive her?” Curt asked me, it was the true question to this whole charade.
“Well, I truly believe that everyone should get a second chance...” I stated this as honestly and clearly as possible, it’s something I believe with such a fixation it’s quite scary. “I’m glad I did, seeing someone so happy bringing others entertainment is admirable... Especially doing so free of charge...”
I stopped swinging on my chair and I looked around the tent, the creatures seemed more like wild animals. Well apart from the sea serpent... And the dogs... But these weren't just some random dogs. Oh no! I had seen them before...
“Give me the ball Rex!” A familiar voice shouted from across the room, “It’s mine!”
“Fat chance Ken!” The same voice mut-tered from across the room... See what I did there?
As soon as I realised who they were I face planted and sighed to myself, “For the love of-”
Just then a loud yawn came from across the opposite side of the room, followed by words displeasing to me. “Well well well, look who we got here...” He had just woken up and could see me dead center in the middle of the room, so he took the time to mock me... How thoughtful of him... “You having fun in there where you belong?”
“... Nice to see you too Ringo...” I quipped back at him, meeting his confused glare with my own. “Last time I saw you was back at your mine, didn’t you like playing fetch?”
“Who do you think you’re calling Ringo?” The red hatted diamond dog leader shouted at me from across the room.
“You of course Ringo, Ring leader of those two dogs over yonder” I replied, pointing to the twins fighting over that same ball which belonged to Trixie. “How on earth did they get you guys then?”
This reply wasn’t instant, I think he was rather ashamed of ‘How’ they were contained. Until I figured that part out myself... “Wait, did they use a ball to distract you?” I didn’t get a response, he seethed the second I mentioned it. “Huh... I guess so, regardless... We have to get out of here...”
“We?” Ringo questioned, confused as to why my attitude towards him had suddenly changed.
“Yes we, no one deserves this kind of confinement...” I stated plainly, looking around the area for anything I could use. “Not even you guys... So-”
Suddenly, Rex and Ken’s bickering had escalated to a point which caused the ball they were playing with to fly out of their cage and land just outside of my own. “No! Ken you Idiot what have you done!” Rex shouted at his brother.
“Me? What about you?” Ken shouted back, this went on for a while.
I could see the ball, but as I stretched my arm through the bars I was still too far away, it was literally centimetres away from me and I couldn't get it.
“What are you doing?” Curt asked me, clearly wondering what I was thinking. “That’s not going to help us out of a metal cage you know...”
“Oh really?” I asked, I then pointed towards the far side of the tent, it was the entrance. It wasn’t fully closed, there was a small gap underneath the doorway. ‘Something small would fit under that’ I thought to myself, ‘Perhaps even a ball?’. That was the idea, it was Trixie’s ball you see.
My plan was that she would come looking for me, then the ball would be like a bread crumb, she’d recognise the ball I used back at the cave and realise that I was close. It was a long shot, but I was out of options. I was in a cage, no mobility, no other objects within reach, I was in a losing situation.
“So, what’s the plan?” Curt asked me with those big old eyes of his, if it wasn’t for him being a lion with sharp fangs and claws I would have called him adorable... Then again this wouldn’t have ended so well...
“Ok, here’s what I got...” I began to explain, as the sky slowly began to turn dark...
*Several Hours Later...*
Trixie and the gang were desperately trying to track me down. Yes I was in a tent but it wasn’t exactly very eye catching, it looked pretty plain compared to the rest so it kind of blended in. The saying ‘Needle in a Haystack’ comes to mind... They eventually headed to the main tent, dead center of the entire carnival area. This was originally the place Flim was supposed to take me, it was owned by ‘The Lunamoon Duo’ themselves. The letters ‘LM’ was imprinted on the side of the tent, clearly they wanted to be noticed.
The tent however was closed shut, no lights were on, the last show had ended long before my confinement. So the one place they thought I might be was now a lost cause, Trixie was having a hard time keeping herself together...
“We have to find him!” She shouted, running up and down the isles of carnival style events. She wasn’t paying attention to what was around her, she was too focused on finding me. “Nick! Where are you!?”
F&F were asking around, trying to find out my whereabouts but to no avail. They did this for several hours, just as all hope seemed lost a young filly accidentally bumped straight into Trixie.
“Oof, I’m Sorry!” The filly said swiftly, she seemed rather troubled and twitchy. She carried a familiar ball in her mouth, plus she didn’t look up at Trixie when she bumped into her, so without hesitation she got up and charged away...
Now Trixie isn’t as daft as you would think, although it did take a while for those cog and gears in her head to turn the correct way. Her neck shot up as she looked towards the filly, Trixie could see the ball in her mouth that she was carrying. “...Wait a minute... That’s- Hey!” Trixie shouted, now desperately trying to catch this young child.
Flam looked at Trixie dashing past both him and his brother, they looked at each other in confusion. “What’s wrong?” They shouted together, Trixie didn’t answer, she was too busy trying to keep up with this young filly. “Hey! Trixie?!”
The filly was running around the city, every now and again she would stop and ask the city folk if they knew whose ball she was carrying. It was kind of ironic, she was in a hurry to find the owner and that same mare was the one who was chasing after her. Eventually after about an hour she had eventually caught up to the filly, they were both out of breath and trying to form a comprehensible sentence...
“Why... Are you... Following me?” The filly panted, desperately trying to catch what little breath she had left. “Do... You know who... This belongs. To?”
“Y-Yes...” Trixie began, breathing slowly to pace her words. “That’s my ball... Where did you... Find it?”
“It was... In the middle of... The street...” The filly replied, trying to explain as clearly as she could. “Do you want me to... Show you where I found... It?”
“Yes please! I need to find somepony- I mean someone...”, Trixie stated clearly. The filly’s head tilted to the side when she heard the word ‘somebody’, but after the initial confusion she understood what she meant.
“Wait... Do you mean that weird creature who wears clothes?” The filly asked, now bringing the crisis to a close... Well kind of anyway...
*Several Hours Earlier...*
Curt looked at me like a total idiot, “T-that’s your plan?” He stated, shaking his head and bringing his paw to his face in disappointment. “A cub could come up with a better one... Not to mention reaching the ball for this to even go ahead...”
“Look, I didn’t say it was a good plan...” I replied bluntly, I knew it was a long shot but I was out of ideas... “I... I need to get out of here... This is the best I can do with what I’ve got...”
“Then I guess we’ll be seeing a lot more of each other then...” Ringo uttered, quietly chuckling to himself. “Face it, you’re going to be here forever-”
“For the love of- Would you shut up please?!” I snapped at him, he was doing my head in. The whole time I was telling curt everything he was butting in being unhelpful, that’s the last thing I wanted to hear when I knew for a fact I couldn’t stay there forever... There wasn’t a bathroom for a start...
“Gah... What do I do?” I asked myself, slowly I began scratching my head in deep thought. Well I tried to anyway, my hat was in the way. Then the idea came, “Wait a minute...” I took my hat off and squeezed my arm through the bars again towards the ball, using the hat I scooped it up and brought it back to me. “Ha! Darn I love this hat!”
“Well that was easy...” Curt remarked, looking at my hat with his big shiny eyes. “Why didn't you do that earlier?”
“It didn’t occur to me... But hey! At least we have a shot now right?” I chirped happily, I then took the ball and threw it towards the gap under the doorway. “Go my son! To Freedom!” I shouted with enthusiasm, the ball was on target and with at least a centimeter to spare it made it through and stopped just outside the doorway. “And now we play the waiting game...”
I sat down in the cage for at least an hour, my heart was racing. I knew for a fact that if this didn’t work I’d be stuck in this cage as part of a side show... Not only that but I would be forced to be put through what the Lunamoon Duo called ‘Entertainment’. Oh sure, animals in cages doing tricks... I used to hate the idea of seeing animals like that and you know what? If you do like this kind of entertainment however let me say this, once you’re on the other side of the cage, your opinion will soon change just like the wind changes direction, it’s smooth and swift. Eventually however...
“Guys we shouldn’t be here! We’d be trespassing!”
“You worry too much Amber Shine...”
It was coming from just outside the door, I could smell shenanigans in the air...
“But the animals are probably sleeping! We shouldn’t bother them!”
“Chicken! BKAW!”
“Yeah! What are you? Scared or something?”
“But I-”
“If you don’t want to be here then leave”
“Yeah, more fun for us...”
I couldn’t see or hear much but it sounded a lot like an argument to me, I looked at Curt and he was just as confused as I was.
“He he, perhaps I should scare them away...” Ringo suggested, I had offered to get him out of here and yet he was still acting like a total jerk. I looked towards him with a distasteful look on my face, “What’s wrong? Don’t you want to stay in there?”
“I’m trying to get us ‘All’ out, so just shut up will you?” I quipped back at him, I meant it when I said it before, no one no matter how they are shouldnt be forced to be confined... I was however reassessing that comment at this point...
“What was that?!”
“And yet it’s going to be too late...” Ringo stated bluntly, my head tilted in confusion as I repeated that in my head a couple of times.
“What do you mean ‘Too late?” I quizzed Ringo, this comment put me in a slight bit of distress.
“Can you hear that?”
“What I mean is that we won’t be in Trottingham much longer...” Ringo clarified, he leaned up against the bars and began to laugh to himself again. “We’re heading to Las Pegasus... Opposite side of Equestria, In a couple of hours we’ll be too far away for your ‘Friend’ to do anything...”
“C’mon, lets see what’s going on!”
“Wait!”
“Um, Nick?” Curt mumbled, clearly something had caught his attention. I didn’t hear him though, I was about to go mental when I heard Ringo’s last statement.
“NO! We Are getting out of here!” I shouted at the top of my lungs, I had lost it. “I am NOT Being some kind of pet to these so called entertainers! ...Trixie wouldn’t give up trying to find me, not a chance-”
“How can you be so sure!?” Ringo shouted back at me, attempting to make me even more uneasy. “She’ll just find another assistant and replace you, face it, you’re just a Pet to her-”
“What is that!?”
“It looks weird...”
“Wait, I saw him today! I waved at it and it waved back!”
“What?”
“Nick!” Curt shouted again, at this point my mind was blank and I couldn't focus properly.
I wasn’t just worried sick about being trapped, I have a fear of that for one thing. But it was the fact he called me a Pet, something I stated clearly to Trixie when I first met her that I wasn’t one and didn’t want to be treated as such. Not only that, but he made it sound like I was just being used by her for entertainment which, of course, infuriated me. I say this because she doesn’t do what she does for money, we had been through enough to know about each other and what we’re both thinking.
“That’s It!” I barked across the tent now facing Ringo in that stupid cage of his, “I’m not a pet! I’m her friend! And I know darn well she’ll find me somehow! I’m not a religious person but by Zeus if I get out of here, You’re gonna be sorry!”
“Gaaa!”
“Lets get out of here!”
“Nick!” Curt shouted at me, trying to get my attention still.
I turned around at quite a pace and just stared at him, still quite irritated by the way. “What?!” I replied in a panic, he pointed his paw towards the entrance and two fillies had just run outside. “Wha- No Wait!” My heart sank, I thought I had just blown my own plan out of the water... However...
“Um...” A voice said very quietly, I looked to my right and I could see a small, orange coated filly staring at me with those cute big blue eyes of theirs. She had a red mane, no Cutie mark of course. “...Hi?”
Those words, the first words I spoke when addressing the ponies of Equestria. It made me relax and calm down a bit when I heard that, Curt was looking at me with worried eyes, he could see how much this was making me panic, not to mention Ringo trying to irritate me.
“I- Is this yours?” The filly asked, balancing the ball on top of her head, “It was outside...”
“No, It’s a friends”, I replied swiftly, I had a bad feeling and I needed to give her the quick, basic details. “Listen, Could you- ... Wait, how did you get inside?” But I became distracted with minor, yet intriguing details.
“She slipped through the gap”, Curt informed me, he pointed with his claw and I could see it was pulled up slightly. “It only opens one way, we’re lucky she was able to get inside... I was trying to tell you but you wasn’t listening to me...”
“Huh, sorry about that Curt... Anyway, could you do me a huge favour?” I asked the filly, her head tilted in wonder as to what I was going to ask. “Look, we’re all in a bit of a bind... We were all captured at some point in time, I was captured several hours ago and I can’t stay in here... I have to get home...”
“You were with that girl right?” She asked me, “That performer who’s been in the news paper... Which makes you that ‘Strange friendly creature’ That’s been travelling with her... Right?”
“That is correct!” I said with a friendly and enthusiastic voice, I recognised her from earlier. She waved to me and her mum dragged her away shortly after, she looked slightly concerned I might add. “She’s a friend and is probably looking for me now... I know this might be a pain but I need you to grab that ball and find her...”
“Is it that girls ball?” The filly asked, clearly she wanted all the details. I nodded and she understood my plan, “Oh! You want me to find her right?”
“That’s right! You do remember what she looked like don’t you?” Her face looked puzzled, clearly she had forgotten... “Um, no matter. Just take the ball and run around for a while, I’m sure she’ll recognise it...”
“Ok-” The filly compiled before being interrupted by the same top-hatted mare who trapped me here in the first place.
“What!? How did you get in here?!” He shouted angrily, the filly looked completely shaken up.
“Oh Cr- Run!” I barked at the filly, “Get Out of Here!”
The filly gasped and exited stage left, Mr Lunamoon tried to grab her but Curt growled at him and made him jump. This caused him to back up next to my cage, I grabbed him by the neck and started scratching his head. “Monkey Rub!” I shouted with glee, It was good to get some payback.
“Enough!” He barked at me, he then kicked me in the stomach with his free hoof. Well that sent me flying back into the bars and onto the floor, it wasn’t a light kick I’ll tell you right now. “Grr, you’ve just- ...No matter, we’ll be leaving before they have a chance to get here...”
He walked away in a hurry, next thing I know the cages start moving by themselves. Wagons appeared out of nowhere and began loading up the cages, it was starting to look like a train as the wagons began to interlock with one another... This was looking worse by the second...
“Trix... You’d better hurry...” I struggled to say as I sat on the ground, still covering the fresh bruise I had just received. The cage began to move into one of the wagons, it had an open side to it. I was pretty sure Mr Lunamoon wanted me to see that I wasn’t going to get out of this situation, the smug jerk...
The Standard and Normal Human: One : Meeting T.G.A.P. Trixie
A Peculiar but Grateful Encounter
The Standard and Normal Human7
There I sat in the cage inside the convoy of wagons, front row seat to my own impending doom. There wasn’t a way out, my cage was right next to Curts and the D.D. (Diamond Dogs). The only way out was for Trixie to track me down and free me, but I didn’t think about the ‘How?’. It was a cage with no door in sight, It was extremely heavy and stable, so how would she lift it? Then again how was it moved in the first place? A magic user must have moved it, I do remember, while I was on the ground in pain, after getting hoofed in the stomach, that the cage did glow a strange bluish purple just before everything began to move. There were several things I didn’t understand however...
Who was Mr Lunamoon?
Why does he know about Trixie and me?
Was there a connection between the two?
‘Pfft, don’t be stupid...’ I thought to myself, ‘There completely the opposite...’
I got up and started pacing, I was shaking and unnerved. Anxiety had taken over and I was having a ‘Slight’ panic.
“Nick, calm down...” Curt attempted to reassure me, “You’re not going to solve anything by panicking”
“Yeah I know that...” I replied in haste, “That’s why I’m trying to calm myself down...”
“Uh-huh... So how's the pacing back and forth working out for you?” Curt remarked with a blank stare, knowing full well that it wasn’t doing anything.
“It’s not... In fact I think it’s making it worse...” It totally was, I mean making yourself tired is only going to make you think less effectively. Like waking up early and trying to do tasks which require a lot of thought and planning, it’s not going to end well... “Ok, so what do ‘You’ think I should do?”
“Simple, stop moving and breathe slowly...” Curt told me, it sounded more like he was a trained sniper than a lion.
Wait, is there a term in fishing known as Sniping? If not then perhaps this guy knows a thing or two...Wait... What the hell am I even talking about!?
“Fine fine...” I replied, stopping in place facing the cage wall and parking my backside on the floor. “... She’d better hurry...”
Time seemed to slow down, I was more focused on hope than anything. If I began to think about the plan ‘going south’ I don’t think I would have been able to deal with it, I mean who wants to be in captivity and used as part of some kind of ‘Entertainment?!’ Heck, show me someone who does and perhaps I’ll get a better answer, but I wasn’t going to sit there and accept this... Not a chance... Well, that's what I thought. But as I’ve said before, I didn’t really have a choice in the matter...
I began to daydream, it was a world I was unfamiliar with but forced to play a part of in some sick sideshow... I think I preferred my original idea when I first arrived, the dream I had. I mean as I’ve said before I’m not a fan of magic and, perhaps, looking like a magician and travelling with Trixie around Equestria sounded pretty bizarre at first. But I would take that any day rather than the latter, you know, imprisonment and all that jazz...
At this time I was more interested in the Diamond Dogs, I mean they had been quiet all this time instead of mocking me. I turned around and they were fast asleep, I know right? It was as if they didn’t care, seemed like they were dealing with the whole situation better than me...
“Um, Nick?” Curt asked with concern, but soon his attention was averted. “Um, can I help you?”
“Nick!” A familiar voice shouted, it was filled with shock and relief. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you!”
I looked down in a daze and could see Trixie and a familiar small filly standing next to her, for whatever reason my brain hadn’t clicked just yet. “Ah hey Trixie! It’s been a while... It’s been a rather interesting couple of hours, I mean the idea of being carted around like a sideshow pet makes me feel-” I paused abruptly, the bombshell had just hit home and my calm talk turned into a mad panic and a plea for help. “For the Love of Celestia! Get me OUT of Here!”
“Wow, that didn’t last long...” Curt remarked, laughing quietly to himself.
“Well well well, look who’s arrived...” A voice uttered I the distance, slowly he made himself visible. The top hatted Lunamoon himself appeared from the front of the wagon, clearly he was the one leading this convoy. “It’s been a long time dear daughter...”
Now folks, this is where I begin the countdown. You know, when the realisation finally kicks in and I realise what he just said. It managed to blow my mind on such a scale it makes all my previous discoveries null and void...
“It’s been a long time... Father...” Trixie reluctantly said, trying not to meet the gaze from her fathers eyes.
3
“Me and your mother have been worried about you for a long time...” Mr Lunamoon said very plainly, almost as if he didn’t even mean what he said.
2
“You can stop the act, I demand that you release the human immediately!” Trixie announced loudly, trying to keep as calm as possible.
1
“I’m afraid I cannot do that... He’s just too valuable...” Mr Lunamoon informed Trixie, looking oh so smug behind that smile of his.
Aaaaaand...
“I don’t care! He can’t stay here forever-” Trixie was about to follow this sentence up, I ended up interrupting her... Rather loudly I might add...
The Bomb finally hits home...
“Holy Crap! You’re Her Father!?” I shouted in shock, I couldn’t believe what I was seeing, hearing and experiencing. I looked at the pair of them, it took me awhile but could kind of see a resemblance between the- Wait, what am I saying? In fact, they couldn’t have looked any different. “But- He- What?- Gah!”
“... As much as I hate to admit it, I Am his daughter... My full name is Trixie Lunamoon” Trixie informed me, which is ironic now that I think about it. You see, if you type in Trixie into google and check her official wiki page, there's a mention of her last name. It was a toy for the Royal wedding... Thing... “But that doesn’t matter now, I’m here to get you out of here...”
“I’m afraid I can’t just let you walk away with my once in a lifetime attraction, isn’t that right honey?” Mr Lunamoon stated, from behind him a second carnival pony had made themselves visible. It was a unicorn, it had a magic wand for a Cutie mark. With a deep blue coat, purple mane and green eyes which she seemed to flutter for some reason... Attention seeker much? She wore a large top hat like her husband, sporting a monocle to boot.
“Indeed, now be a good filly and come back to mummy and daddy” Mrs Lunamoon said with lack of true emotion in her voice, oh and by that I mean this. She said it as if she was talking down to Trixie, its demeaning when someone talks to someone else like that. “Oh and make sure to bring back that wagon as well-”
“I-I’m not coming back!” Trixie announced very nervously, If I didn’t know any better at the time I would have said she was kind of afraid of them.
Now at this point I could go on to explain what else was said, I mean it was pretty interesting at the time. But my attention was averted, not by the normal means however. I say this because... Well, it was pretty bizarre. I could hear a whistling sound below me, this didn’t phase me though. It did however cause a certain lion to get my attention instead...
“Um, Nick... Am I going crazy?” Curt asked me, clearly something was wrong as he was clearly questioning his sanity.
“Eh? What are you talking about?” I replied, completely thrown off by his random question. “You been near any cat-nip at all?”
“Cat- what? No... Look down there...” He pointed down at the ground behind us, the cages we were in were slightly elevated which is why I was having to tilt my head down.
And there stood something that I’d never think I would see in this world, it was a giant chicken... No, Seriously! Or at least that’s what I thought, it wasn’t a real one though, it was a suit. It was the same suit that I had used for Trixie's show, now I went all detective as this was all happening, thus the conclusion was rather intriguing.
The ‘giant chicken’ stood on its hind legs, quite well actually. More balanced than some of the ponies at the carnival... What? I saw a few... What was interesting however is that it was a carnival game for pairs, the ponies that tried were terrible. This tells me that it takes more than a day, nay, a week to learn how to do tha-... Haha! Sorry, I just got my own joke there... Nay? No? Fine... Just me then... Anyway, not only was this ‘chicken’ standing on it’s back legs, but it was even using human motions with it’s hands. You know, when you talk about something interesting? Or if you’ve seen those businessmen talking like they are ‘Soooo Interesting’, then you understand what I mean.
“Hey... You!” It said, with a strangely familiar voice no less. It sounded slightly gravely so I could tell that it was putting a voice on, the question next was why? “Listen, take this and get out of here! I’ve not got a lot of time, get yourself and everyone else out of here!” Then it threw a key through the bars close to my feet, this confused me on a monumental level.
“Um, that’s all well and good but there isn’t a door to this cage...” I stated clearly, looking around for a keyhole. There wasn’t one that I could see...
“Ugh, why did I even- Look up darn it!” It pointed out with its hand. I looked up and there was a small square style door with a keyhole in it, it was the size of an attic hatch. “Just climb up and unlock it... Easy...”
“... How do you even know this?-” I asked with intrigue, this thing knew something that I didn’t. Unfortunately, it interrupted me before I could get an answer...
“Just do it!” It snapped at me, clearly It was in some kind of hurry... “Get out of there, free the animals and get going!”
I looked up and assessed how I would even get up there. The only solid piece of metal was below me, above had bars going across meeting the hatch in the middle. “You seriously think I can get up there?” I asked, I’m not an athletic person so this would be hard enough as it is... “What do you think I am? Some kind of spider monkey?-” It interrupted me again,
“If I can do it in one go then so can you!” It snapped again, giving up more information for me to analyse. “ *sigh* Well... It’s been fun, I’m out of here... Thank you and goodnight!”
It then turned around and walked off into the distance, but it left me with a strange feeling. ‘Wait... Didn’t I-’ I begin to think, but I stopped myself and realised that it wasn’t the time to be messing around. Soon the Lunamoon Duo would notice my motives, I looked at the bars above me and laughed to myself. “This shouldn’t be so hard right?” I said out loud, looking towards curt for some kind of motivation. I took a run up and bounced off the bar in front of me, I then grabbed a bar above me and carefully shimmied my way to the lock. I was surprised I made it, it was killing my arms but I was doing it! Ha! Spider-man’s got nothing on me! I undid the lock and opened the hatch, with the last of my strength I lifted myself out and laid on top of the cage in exhaustion. “Ha- I did it in- one too- take that- chicken suit thing...” I panted out loud, it was then that I got to work...
Trixie and her parents were still talking about... Stuff... You know how it is right? When someone is talking and you’re doing something as they do it, you don’t pay attention to what’s going on around you... Wait, you do? ... Well then I guess I can’t multitask... Anyway, I undid the locks on the cages, which took me awhile by the way, especially as I had to keep low profile as I did it. As I did this I told all of the creatures to wait for my ‘Signal’ before escaping. But Nick! What is the signal? Oh well, I think it’s best for you to wait and see... When I got to the diamond dogs cage however, I hesitated slightly.
“Ok, here's the deal” I began as I looked Ringo dead in the eyes, he was slightly surprised by the sudden serious tone of voice I was using. “I’m going to free you, but I want something in return...”
“Oh, do you now?” Ringo replied in that smug tone I was sick of by that time, “... Fine, what is it? Gems? Food?” All good ideas, but no...
“Um, actually I want you to get the sea serpent out of here... He can’t exactly leave unless he’s In that bathtub...” I replied to Ringo, pointing towards the serpent now waving back at us. I had a quick word with this dude, he was too quiet and didn’t say much at all. “All I need you do to is grab that tub and get out of here... Get him to the sea... Or a lake or whatever, that’s all...”
The serpent wasn’t even in a cage, I mean he needed the water so it wasn’t like he could get away... It made sense really, why waste a cage when the bath tub is as good as one?
“... Fine, as you wish...” He replied, quite happily it would seem. Perhaps it was his dog sense of loyalty? I could only guess so...
“Thank you... It was a pleasure Ringo... Oh and tell your two sleeping buddies over there that I said bye...” I chirped back, looking at Rex and Ken in the corner, snoozing the day away.
I unlocked it and saluted to Ringo just before leaving their cage, finally I jumped back to where I began. I sat on top of my cage and just observed the ‘family feud’ that was still going on... You see, I wanted to make sure that when Mr Luna-jerk finally realised I was out of my cage so that he could see my smug face staring back at him. Revenge is best served by rubbing it in their faces...
“-So no, either come back to us now and return everything you took. Or you can leave without your friend... The choice is yours...” Mr Lunamoon stated bluntly, he wasn’t backing down from his decision at all.
Trixie looked extremely conflicted, if I didn’t know any better at the time I would have thought she was ready to give up everything to get me out... Pff, like I was going to let that happen...
“Oh P-L-ease... She wouldn’t even consider doing something so rash...” I uttered out loud, at this point I was laying on my back on top of the cage. “Especially if she doesn’t have to...”
“Ha! What would you know ‘Human?” He replied, still sounding so smug and cock sure about himself. He then turned his head towards direction, “You should learn your place in this world, you're just a-” As soon as he saw where I was however he stopped dead...
“A what? Pet? Or a Prisoner?” I quipped back at him, using his own smugness against him. “Well I’m not a prisoner since I’m free now... And I’m not a pet because that would imply that we’re friends and that you’re taking care of me... But no, your not Ash, and I’m Not Pikachu... Your hospitality sucks...”
I stood up and took a long stretch, I needed to from the sound of it. As soon as I tilted my neck it clicked, I looked at Trixie and she was staring at me in disbelief. “Nick!? How did you-”
“What? Get out?” I interrupted, I wanted to cut to the point but I really didn’t know how to explain it... “ A Giant chicken gave me... the key to the- You know what, that’s not important right now... I’m out and you don’t have to give up anything...”
“But- How Did you!?-” Mr Lunamoon started again, he was really getting on my nerves...
“I just Said! A Giant Chicken Gave me the key! You’ve got ears for listening, use them!” I interrupted again, snapping as I did it. “You know what, I think I’ve had enough... Run My Friends! To Freedom!”
As I shouted this out loud, the cages all began shaking. You could feel it in the ground, all the creatures were escaping at the same time. It was rather cool, I felt like Ace Ventura... Oh speaking of which...
“LOOO-HOOO-ZUH-HER!” I shouted over the mass noise going on behind me, making an L shape with my hand as I did it then lifting it to my head. “That there Sir is checkmate! I’m out of here”
I jumped down from my cage and made my way to Trixie, still looking at me in disbelief. She looked as if she was ready to burst into tears, but she didn’t say anything... Before I did that however I looked to my right, in the distance I could see the D.D. running away with the bath tub over their heads containing the sea serpent I asked them to protect. Ringo looked in my direction and I gave him a nod, you know, the one that says ‘Thanks for your cooperation...’ I’m just glad he kept his part of the bargain. I didn’t notice before but the filly who I sent to find Trixie was hiding right behind... Trixie... Yeah, that did sound a bit repetitive.
She carefully peered from behind her, looking in my direction... I would have thanked her and said hi, but I was more intrigued with what Trixie’s parents were about to do next. To my surprise they just started walking away, no words, no reaction, nothing... I was expecting a rant like ‘You! You’ve ruined my business!’ But the words never came...
“So, you two ok?” I asked the girls, they looked slightly spooked. Perhaps It was the fact that the creatures stampeded past them? Or just maybe they didn’t expect for the event to take a turn in the opposite direction... Either way, I just wanted to make sure they were ok. “C’mon you two, say something...”
It’s ironic really, I didn’t notice that they were looking past me. I turned around and there was Curt standing right behind me, he actually made me jump. “Jesu- Curt, I know you're stealthy and all but c’mon... Don’t do that...”
“What? I’m just standing here... Oh right, because you didn’t know I was there... My Apolohie-” Curt began, he then cut off his sentence near the end. “Wait, was that a Joke about my Size?!” He shouted, he took it the wrong way completely. And I hadn’t even said anything...
“What!? Dude stop being so paranoid... You’re beginning to sound like me...” I replied quickly, trying to diffuse the conversation before I heard him rant about his size. I looked back at the pair and realised why they were so quiet, “Oh right... This is Trixie and- ... Um, you know what I never did catch your name...”
“M-Me?” The small filly replied nervously, still being extremely cautious, what with the lion right in front of her and all. “M-My name is A-Amber Shine”
“It’s a pleasure to meet you again” I said with a smile, bowing as I said it. Oh I’m such a gentleman... “Oh right, formalities. Ladies, I would like to introduce you to Curt-Claw from a small Tribe known as the ‘Fang Gang’. He’s friendly, kind and courteous”
“And kind of small...” Amber Shine added, clearly not understanding that there was nothing big about small jokes... Ha! I was expecting Curt to shout and rant about his size but thankfully he never did, he grinded his teeth and swallowed that remark with pride.
“I-It’s nice to meet you young one” He replied Gingerly, he really was just like Edward Elric. “I do have a favour to ask however...”
This caught all of us by surprise, I mean he hadn’t said anything prior to this happening. “Oh? Well fire away, I’m sure we can help out...” I told him, I was sure it was do-able.
“I want a lift to Canterlot” Curt put plainly, there wasn’t even any hesitation. “From there I can get home, it’s a few days from the tribe if I run straight there...”
“... Wait, for two days straight?” I questioned, that did sound like he was trying to impress us... Well to me it did anyway... “U-huh... You sure about that?”
“... Ok, It might be a little longer... I may have one or two naps...” Curt added, I looked at him and smiled unconvincingly. “... Perhaps more than two-” He added...
“It’s fine, we’ll take you...” Trixie interrupted, though she still sounded a little shaken up from earlier. “It’s where we’re going next anyway...”
I looked at Trixie but she seemed to steer her eyes away, something was clearly on her mind. I mean she hadn’t spoken since I set the animals free... Oh and the time I was in the cage, silly me... Just then F&F had finally caught up and rejoined the group, they had taken their sweet time...
“Thank Celestia you’re ok!” Flim gasped with relief, he then stood on his back hooves, balanced himself, then gave me a hug. “I shouldn’t have left you on your own, it’s all my fault...”
“No, no its not...” I informed him, slowly I dragged him off of me and he was back on all fours. “He would have found a way to capture me, with or without you there...”
“Well at least you’re safe...” Flam added, sighing for relief he walked towards Trixie to see if she was ok. They then both walked away from where we were standing, I think they just wanted to talk. Like I said before, they seemed to be rather close... What? No! Not in that way, if that was the case I would have fainted right there and then. No, he was like a father figure to her. You know, because her’s isn’t one she would like to follow suit after. Ironic really considering that both Lunamoon and F&F were both business colts... Mares... Gah! Which is it again? Whatever, you get what I mean.
“... Why is there a rather short lion here?” Flim asked innocently, I think that Curt was finding this cliche rather old at this point.
“I’m NOT Short!” Curt yelled, he jumped towards Flim and started flailing around. I jumped in between and held him back, “Let me At Him! Get off of Me!”.
“For the Love of- Just calm down!” I shouted back, clinging onto him for dear life.
Amber shine was enjoying the show, she started laughing and fell to the ground in an attempt to contain herself. “You two must be good friends, I hope you make it back to your home Mr Claw!” Amber Shine said with a smile, this calmed down Curt considerably. “Well I’d better get home. My mum must be worried...”
“Well, take care... Oh and thanks again!” I replied, I then looked towards Curt and widened my eyes to signal to him. You know, the one that says ‘Oi, Say thanks as well...’
“...I am eternally grateful young one...” Curt said calmly, he sounded as wise as Aslan... Go figure right?
“Ok, see ya!” Amber Shine said, she then galloped into the distance...
“Right... Lets head back to the wagon... I need a nap...” I added, I then began walking back to the wagon. Curt and Flim followed shortly behind me...
As we did however, I looked towards the distance and could see something... It looked like santa had come early, I mean it looked like a carriage after all... I didn’t think anything of it at the time, the whole scenario had caught up with me, I was pooped... Plus at that point in time I would have had to head home sooner rather than later...
How was I supposed to explain this to my friend when I got home?
The Standard and Normal Human: One : Meeting T.G.A.P. Trixie
A Short but Unforgettable Goodbye
The Standard and Normal Human8
When we got back to the wagon, I made my bed and fell asleep. I’d had one heck of an adventure during my time in their world...
I met a pony who I was once on opposite terms with...
I had met and outsmarted the devious diamond dogs...
I had helped Trixie to perform in several towns (Kind of) with my human swagger...
I witnessed the towns people run away in fear of me a numerous amount of times...
I met the Cutie Mark Crusader and, straight after this, was chased around town by them...
I rode a train for the first time and joined some senior colts in a game of poker...
I met Flim and Flam and learned more about their past...
I met a talking lion called curt who was from a small tribe including other talking lions...
I was... Imprisoned... But I did meet a large creature in a chicken suit...
Yeah, that last one kind of ruined it but you get what I mean. I had been through alot in the short time I was there, the stuff that happened felt like it was straight from the realm of fiction. I think I may have said this before, but I was either living the brony dream (Minus the captivity), Or I had descended into madness... At any rate my time there was coming to an end, the curtains to this play would have had to come down eventually...
“Nick...” Curt said as he probed me to wake up, “... Ok... How about this...” Next thing I heard was the loudest roar in my entire life, I leapt up from my bed screaming wondering what the heck that was.
“Gaaaaaaaa!” I screamed, quickly looking around I soon realised that it was only Curt and myself that were currently present in the room. “Curt! Dude!? C’mon! I nearly had a heart attack!”
“That was uh... Quite the reaction...” Curt replied, he was having a quiet snigger to himself. “But seriously, there waiting outside... We’re heading to Canterlot today so we need to say goodbye to everyone...”
“Oh right... It’s Friday...” I slowly realised, 5 days had passed rather quickly, “Ok, I’m getting up...”
I was still dressed in the same clothes as the night before, I quite literally made my bed and just collapsed onto it. I don’t think anyone expected it to be honest, otherwise they might have asked me if I was ok... I got up, stretched and then walked through the curtains to get outside. They were all sitting outside, Flim and Flam must have moved their wagon because it was beside Trixie’s... Well it’s her parents technically but still, they were all just talking away so I kind of felt out of place as I approached them. They all sat on chairs, kind of in a circular position.
“Um, morning...” I uttered in a very unsure manner, looking at everyone just staring blankly at me. “What? Is something wrong?”
“It’s not morning...” Trixie stated very blandly, I looked up at the sky and the sun was at that 2pm angle... At least I think so anyway... “You were asleep for most of last night and the morning...”
“We didn’t want to disturb you” Flim added, “Plus I think you needed a bed after sitting in that cage for all those hours...”
“Yeah, that wasn’t very fun... Or comfortable...” I’ve slept on the floor before, it kills your back substantially. “So, we’re heading to Canterlot?”
“That’s correct” Trixie stated blandly again, her attitude had changed but I couldn’t figure out why. “When you’ve said goodbye to everyone we’ll be off...”
She walked off to the wagon and started packing her things up, not even looking at me as she did it. I took a seat and moved it closer to Flim and Flam, I needed some answers.
“Ok, I might be crazy but I’m not stupid... What’s wrong with Trix?” I asked with concern, it was really starting to worry me. I would see her moving things around, her face was emotionless. “She’s not acting the same as she used to...”
“I think she’s sad she has to say goodbye...” Flam informed me, I was pretty slow at first, I thought he was talking about himself.
“What? She can visit you guys anytime...” I uttered, not even thinking about what he had just said.
“You- ... You just said you’re not stupid...” Curt added, trying to shine some light on my confusion.
“That is correct, why are you restating that?” I asked curt, he rolled his eyes before paw-palming.
“Not us you nitwit! You!” Flam shouted, at least he clarified what he meant anyway. “You have to get home don’t you?”
“...Oh... Well this is true, I have work next week as well...” I added, it was the middle of summer so it would be back to working in the boiling hot bakery... Yay... “Well, this was inevitable, at least we can talk about it on the way to Canterlot...
Just then we heard commotion, voices and cheering in the background. From the sounds of it, whatever it was, it was getting closer. I quickly recapped what happened in my head the events that happened the day before, being kidnapped, imprisoned, seeing a giant chicken... Oh and I thought I saw Santa Claus in the distance... Yeah, if you're thinking what I was thinking then you know where this is going... The cheering only got louder, it was mainly the younger ones that did this however. I know this because I turned around and the older ponies were bowing with respect, it was pretty bizarre. I couldn’t see past them however, so I wasn’t sure what they were doing...
“Huh, they having a party?” I jested, still not knowing what was unfolding at the time. I looked forward and chilled out the best I could, it was rather strange then to see both Flim, Flam and Trixie bowing towards me... Oh and for Curt to be hiding behind me was rather weird too. “I know I’m great and everything guys but really, there’s no need to be- ... Wait, Curt... What are you doing-?”
As I asked him this I could see quite a large shadow emerging from behind, it made me laugh at first before I finally realised who it was... The horn, the wings, oh and the crown. Then I had to remember that I knew nothing, well that’s what I was pretending anyway... There was an eerie silence around me, I slowly stood up, sighed and turned around...
Princess Celestia was staring right at me along with the many other ponies that followed behind her, it was rather uncomfortable, especially with all of her royal guards following her. I decided to break the ice as calmly as possible, although thinking back I could have said something less casual...
“Why hello there!-” I began, I had a big smile on my face to try and show my friendly nature...
“Nick!” Trixie interrupted sharply, “Do you have Any idea who you're addressing?!”
“... Um, an Alicorn?” I replied, shrugging my shoulders as I said it. I could see Trixie’s face and knew I then had to explain how I knew what she was... Typical... “What? ... Oh right. From the world I come from it’s a mythical creature, it has the wings of a Pegasus, the horn of a unicorn and the body of a horse...”
Trixie face-hoofed before she was about to explain everything, Celestia was about to say something but I accidentally interrupted her.
“... Well it’s a pleasure to meet you!” I replied with that happy attitude of mine, I held out my hand for a handshake but didn’t really think about how it would work. The royal guards were about to jump me but the princess put up her hoof as a sign, they stopped dead in their tracks. Celestia stared at me for a while before meeting my hand with her hoof, I grasped it and lifted it up and down... It was... Pretty awkward...
“Nick! What are you doing?!” Trixie exclaimed, she was starting to panic. I think it was because I was addressing the princess so casually as well as using physical contact while doing so, it’s not like she was going to be all ‘Don’t touch me Peasant!’ Followed to a hoof to the face, now ‘That’ would have surprised me.
“What? This is how you greet people where I come from...” I replied, I didn’t see the big deal. “Is it not normal?”
“No!” She answered swiftly, “Especially if it’s a creature from another world”
Me and Trixie were now looking at each other, completely forgetting about the princess standing directly next to us. It was kind of funny, there was a silence while this was going on. That meant that everypony could hear us, I wasn’t even thinking about it at the time.
“Creature?” I said, looking rather confused why she would use that word. “I’m a human, I kind of thought we established this fact earlier...”
“That doesn’t change the fact that you’re addressing royalty so... Casually!” Trixie insisted, trying to make me understand the severity of the whole situation... One of which I really didn’t agree on...
“... Ok, so... How Do I act?” I asked Trixie, I crossed my arms I looked at Trixie. “C’mon, I’m all ears. Just tell me and I’ll do my best!” I was being serious, but I was still enjoying myself just a little bit too much... Trixie however didn’t see this and assumed the worst. Oh and by the way, Never Assume. Do you know why? Because you’ll make an ‘Ass’ out of ‘U’ and ‘Me’. My boss taught me that...
“Is this a joke?!” Trixie shouted again, she hadn't realised how serious I was until she looked back at me in the eyes. “... Fine... You need to bow to show respect, you also need to speak with respect and honesty!”
“Like this?” I began, what would follow however would have a certain ruler in tears. I bowed my head before tipping my hat, with a big grin on my head I said... “Why Hello there Old Bean! How are you on this fine and spon-differous day?”
“Spon- You’re not taking this seriously!” Trixie shouted at me, as for me I was laughing myself into a stupor.
“Oh fine... I’ll do it your way...” I replied, I turned back to Celestia, who was still trying to stop herself from giggling by the way, and presented myself as I should have done right from the start. I knelt down onto my knee, put my right arm across my chest, took of my hat and bowed my head. “Princess Celestia, it is an honour to meet you... Please forgive my ill manner, I was just trying to find something to laugh about as usual...”
Well this pretty much stunned everypony, especially Trixie. Princess Celestia smiled so I knew I wasn’t in some kind of trouble for acting like a total foal, she just looked at me and I could tell there was nothing but sincerity and fairness in her eyes... It was pretty weird...
“It is a pleasure to meet you young human, I’ve heard a lot about you and I can tell most of what my little ponies have said is true...” Celestia began to say, that smile made her look more innocent than she is... Afterall, she Is the Freaking ruler after all...
“Oh really?” I asked as I got back up from the ground, curious as to what fact she referred too... “And what would your little ponies have said about me?”
“Well, above all else...” Celestia started to say, my brain was thinking of all the grand things that might be said... I of course began to worry that it was something bad... “They said that you are... Strange...”
“... Oh of course...” I replied, Trixie was behind me laughing to herself quietly. “... Well I guess they are right about that...”
“I have several questions but this one is more important than any other...” Celestia began, she approached me to talk but I didn’t really take into consideration how big she was. A normal pony’s height is up to my waist, I’m around 5 foot 6 Inches, so a normal pony is about 3 foot tall? Anyway, I was slightly bigger- actually no, we were about the same size. Anyway, as she moved closer I instinctively I stepped back slightly to keep some distance. “How... Did you get here?”
“Um, wow! Where to begin...” I crossed my arms and scratched my chin, “Hmm, perhaps it would be best to talk about this in private no?”
I said this because of several reasons, the main one being that Trixie stole the parchment scroll... Thing... In the first place! I was pretty sure she didn’t want to admit ‘That’ little fact in front of everypony around us... So I decided to act first and save her the trouble, Celestia nodded and I led her to Trixie's wagon.
The ponies behind us wanted to know what was going on, but I didn’t want any disturbances... “Curt! Guard the door...” I asked, I was lucky he was so unsure as to what was going on that he complied without hesitation.
“I’m on it...” Curt replied, after we got inside I closed the curtains. I could hear a shuffling sound coming closer, well until a certain lion stopped that from happening... “They asked for some PRIVACY!” He shouted, this was followed by a short but loud roar, not unlike the one that woke me up that morning. This caused some screams but it effectively kept them away, the guards surrounded the wagon as well... Just to make sure that Celestia was ok...
“I guess I should ask about the lion after this as well, but first...” Celestia began, she magically moved the table and chairs around and put them opposite each other. She took a seat and pulled the other chairs out for us, “... Please start from the beginning...”
“Ok, I was about to leave the house when a strange purple thing appeared on the wall...” I started to explain, I won't repeat myself as I’ve already explained what happened at the beginning of this story, I can however summarize it...
1. Weird portal in home
2. Portal, on contact, pulled me through
3. I appeared in Appleloosa
4. I met Trixie and travelled places
5. Got myself kidnapped and imprisoned, met a lion and now I’m where I was explaining all this to Celestia...
It was quite the story, she was rather interested as well. She didn’t ignore anything, you say something and Celestia listens.
“So, that’s about it really... Anything else?” I asked, curious if I had missed anything she wanted to discuss.
“... Hm, when you arrived did you see anything out of the ordinary?” Celestia asked me, rather a silly question however.
“Um, yeah... Talking ponies... Well that and some kind of parchment, scroll thing-” I replied, but then I was interrupted by Celestia. In the words of Jar Jar Binks, ‘How Rude’.
“Wait! A scroll?” Celestia queried, her curiosity had taken over. “What kind of scroll?”
I looked towards Trixie, I knew that she would have to answer that one. The look she gave me said she didn’t want to say, but I knew that if we were to understand what was happening we needed to know... Heck, I didn’t even know at the time... In fact now I think about it, after I arrived that scroll vanished... Weird...
“Well... I might have... Um...” Trixie began, very unsure how to word it as carefully as possible.
“Yes child? Please! Speak!” Celestia urged her, clearly this was a pressing matter. “If you know anything please tell me!”
“I may have... Obtained... A special scroll... From Canterlot” Trixie informed Celestia, the room turned eerily quiet.
My first instinct was, ‘Oh snap! This is going to get awkward...’ And it was, I mean she sneaked in and took that scroll from right under her nose, not literally but still... Celestia’s face was as serious as ever, you ever do something to tick your parents off? Like swearing? Or not doing... Homework? Gah! You get what I mean, it was ‘That’ look. Heck if looks could kill, I’d have been dead 10 seconds prior... That’s how bad it was...
“... I’ll have to ask about that later, but for now I’ll simply ask what it looked like...” Celestia replied after some thought, Trixie’s punishment would occur after I left... So when I saw her again I made sure to ask her what happened...
“Well, it had written instructions...” Trixie began, explaining it as best she could. “It was written in such a strange manner, I think it even asked for a location... It asked for numbers...”
“Asked?!” Celestia shouted, this clearly surprised her. “... I see, I think I know what happened now... That scroll was created by the very same creature me and my sister imprisoned many years ago... Before we did this however we had to find him...”
“Um, who are you talking about?” I asked with a puzzled face, hoping to bluff my actual knowledge of this world straight past the ruler like a champ... No! Like a Boss!
“Discord” Celestia replied, “He is truly a chaotic creature... He’s also known as a Draconequus...”
“Oh, a creature made up of other creatures?” I added, making it sound like I’ve heard of it before... Because I had... Fact! “... I guess his name makes sense now...”
Celestia looked at me, she was going to comment on what I had said but she held back. “Indeed, as I was saying earlier... We had to find him and stop him... But he had left our world long before we even realised... In fact, he was in yours for many years... When we finally found him, we found the same scroll that you encountered in his possession...”
“Let me guess, he created it?” I asked Celestia, it would make sense. I mean what's more chaotic than having another creature from another world invading yours? It kind of reminded me of Dark Souls, except the scroll is the Cracked Red Eye Orb... Oh and I’m being dragged there... Wait a minute... “It makes sense, but it’s gone now so it’s not a problem... Right?”
“Unfortunately its not as simple as that...” Celestia informed me, I would soon realise how seriously this was going to affect me. “When somepony uses the scroll, it remembers the details used by burning them onto the back. Not only that... But it also returns to the creator...”
“... That’s why it was kept hidden...” Trixie added, now realising what on earth she had done.
“That’s correct...” Celestia replied, the mood was pretty bad. But she soon changed it back to normal, “We can’t do anything now so there’s no point worrying about it, if something happens we will know...”
“Well at least you’re thinking on the bright side” I added, for something that bad to happen I was impressed that she took it on the chin with such gusto. Then I slowly realised that I was kind of a target now, “Wait... The scroll remembers the details?”
“I’m afraid so...” Celestia informed me, “This means that you could be targeted by Discord himself...”
“But didn’t you capture him?” I quizzed Celestia, obviously she did because he was a statue in Ponyville. “How did he escape?”
“We encased him in stone... Over the hundreds of years that passed he didn’t escape it... However as time went on the spell began to weaken” Celestia began, “When he did finally break free I sent my own student to recapture him using the Elements of Harmony...”
“Um, I’m already lost but continue...” I said, I knew what she was talking about but again, I had to pretend that I knew nothing. I lied to Celestia, the ruler of Equestria... And I was pretty sure she knew it...
“Well” Celestia continued, “He was recaptured in the same way me and my sister did before. He was encased in stone, it was his prison for his crimes of chaos across Equestria...”
“... And he somehow got out again?” Trixie asked, she had kept quiet for a while now.
“Indeed, it was around the same time you arrived Human-” Celestia informed me, I did however interrupt her as all this formal stuff was getting old...
“I apologise for the interruption but please, just call me Nick... If that’s not a problem that is...” I asked, it was a simple question and I figured that she would be more than happy to oblige.
“Hmm, as you wish... Nick” Celestia replied, I took in the moment as best I could. In my head I was shouting this at the top of my lungs, ‘YES! SHE SAID MY NAME!!!’... T’was the greatest moment ever... “But yes, when you arrived that scroll returned to him... The scroll itself is magic so he must have used it to escape...”
“I see...” Trixie uttered, she really did mess up... Not that she knew what would happen but this was all too much for her to comprehend. She, not only stole from Celestia and summoned me, but she single-hoofedly (Is that even a word?) gave Discord an object of certain capabilities for which he used to escape from his own prison...
Yet another silence was filling the air, this was quickly extinguished by Curt roaring outside. This snapped me out of it and reminded me that there was other pressing issues going on...
“Oh yeah... I need to get home!” I suddenly added to the plate of issues. Yes.. A plate... No small portions either... “Any chance you can send me back?”
“Hmm, I can but we’ll have to get to Canterlot first” Celestia informed me, “I should be able to return you from there...”
“Ok! Sounds like a plan!” I replied happily, now I was one step closer to returning back to my world.
“We’ll have to leave immediately, say your farewells and meet me at my Sky carriage” Celestia told me, she got up from her seat, bowed, and then exited the wagon.
“Well, you get to go home now right?” Trixie said, her voice sounded upset... I knew she didn’t want me to go just yet, but at the time I really didn’t have much of a choice.
Put it this way, some people would trade their old life away in a heartbeat to live in this world, I simply couldn’t... Oh and before you think I’m going to say, ‘I couldn’t leave my family’ and all that jazz... Yes, those reasons come to mind, but the main one is this... I’m a technology freak... Let me explain, during a blackout in my town a while back I soon realised how much I depended on my electronics. My PS Vita was out of charge, PC was inoperable due to the blackout, my I-pod was dead... For me? That’s my own personal hell right there! And like I said from the very beginning of the story, Don’t judge me... Why? I could care less about those kinds of opinions... Even if they are mostly right...
“... Trixie-” I began to say, she was getting just teary eyed. She got up from her chair and started pacing around...
“I mean it’s what you’ve wanted to do all this time... To... Go home... Right?” Trixie struggled to say, she really was finding this difficult.
I sighed and got up from my seat, then I made my way to her.
“I mean its not like you're going to miss-” Trixie blubbered, I interrupted her with something very simple. It was a hug...
“Can you just shut up for a second? Please?” I asked her, trying hard not to breakdown myself. “Do you have ‘Any’ idea how happy I am that I met you?”
“... What?” Trixie replied, sobbing her eyes out.
“Do you want to know something?” I started, “When I first met you, I couldn’t stand you... Yet after these past few days of travelling with you I can honestly say that I’m happy I got to know you for who you are... You’re dedicated, admirable, and, above all else, your kind... But just uh, stop the third pony talking malarkey ok?”
“M-Malarkey?” Trixie questioned, now sustaining her emotions by herself. “I-is that another one of your human words?”
“Yeah... It sure is...” I uttered, a single tear rolled down my face. If it wasn’t for my ability to bury my own feelings, I would have probably been just as emotional as Trixie. “Besides, considering Discord has my location I doubt this will be the last time you see me...”
“R-Really?” Trixie questioned, she still didn’t understand what could actually happen.
“Yeah! In fact the next time I’m back in this world, I’ll make my first mission to visit you ok? I said happily, I stepped back and held out my hand. “That’s a promise ok?”
Trixie grabbed my hand and shook it with her hoof (How that’s even possible I’ll never know...) “Ok, I’ll take your word for it...” After that she hugged me, I think that made her just that little bit happier.
“I hope I’m not interrupting.” Curt said behind me, this was quite a shock at the time. I let go of Trixie and turned around to casually talk to Curt, I forgot to wipe my face though. “Hey, is something wrong?”
“What?!” I questioned, soon realising that that tear streak was still on my face I swiftly swiped it away. “Um, no... We’re all good back here!”
“Ok... If you say so...” Curt replied, “Oh, you two have a visitor outside...”
Me and Trixie looked at each other in confusion, then asked the same question at the same time.
“A visitor?”
We all exited the wagon through the curtains and a familiar face was standing just outside...
“Ah! It’s been a long time kid! How have things been?” It was Tray, he had just arrived in Trottingham. “I noticed the crowd surrounding the wagon, wasn’t that Princess Celestia?!”
“Yeah, in fact she’s just over there” I said, pointing into the distance with my finger. Celestia’s Sky Carriage was just sitting there, several guards were just outside.
“Well how about that... That must have been a real honour to meet her” Tray proposed, I guess when it happened it was pretty cool... Wait, cool isn’t the right word...
“Sure was, I’m about to head back with her to Canterlot... I’m just saying my farewells, Oh speaking of which!” I walked over to Tray, knelt down and patted him on the back. “Thanks Tray, I don’t know what I would have done if I didn’t listen to you...”
“No need to thank me Kid, It was a pleasure meeting you!” Tray replied, he then patted me on the back with his hoof... It hurt... A lot! I tried not to let it show but Tray wasn’t daft. “You ok?”
“Yeah... Peachy...” I answered, I stood up and stretched my back. “Right, I’d best be off... Still got two more colts to say goodbye to...”
I turned around and headed towards Flim and Flam, you see when Celestia approached me and Trixie they booked it back to their wagon. I think it was to give us some privacy, either way I needed to see them. Luckily for me they were just the other side of the wagon, talking about... Something...
“I’m telling you Brother! It’s the only way forward!” Flim told Flam, no idea what he was on about but it sounded important.
“Um, sorry to interrupt” I began, coughing as I did it. “I need to thank you guys for the meal the other day”
“It’s quite alright Nick, it’s not like you had any money with you in the first place...” Flam replied happily, I felt slightly guilty but he did have a point.
“Well, I’m heading back to my world today... I came to say goodbye” I told them, they looked at each other and tipped their hats to me.
“It’s been a pleasure, perhaps we’ll see eachother again right?” Flim asked me, I knew all too well that I would be dragged back at some point.
“Oh I’m sure we will...” I replied, I bowed and waved them goodbye. Then I headed to Celestia’s Sky carriage, I was beginning to think she forgot about me... That's when I realised that there was one thing I had almost forgot to do...
Curt still needed to get home...
“Hey Curt!” I shouted, this got his attention. I waved to him and he knew what I was thinking straight away...
“We’re going to Canterlot right?” Curt asked, I could see how much he wanted to get back.
“That’s right... Well... That’s if Celestia allows you to travel with us-” I added, I hadn't even asked her about this proposal yet... However...
“That’s quite all right” Celestia interrupted, gracing us with her presen- Gah! I can’t do it, it just sounds too weird to say... “I would be more than happy to get you back home”
“I thank you kindly Princess, it’s been awhile since I’ve seen my tribe” Even in the company of royalty Curt was kind and courteous. Just uh, don’t say anything about his height... Seriously!
We all clambered into the Sky Carriage one by one, with a nod from Celestia the guards at the front were off! I looked out of the side window and we could see the land all around us, it went far and wide... Now I would like to point out that the scenery was a beautiful spectacle, but alas I wasn’t feeling so great. This is when I learned what it was like to fly for the first time... Yeah, guess how that went...
“Um Nick? Are you ok?” Curt asked me with caution, his worry was well placed as I went as white as a ghost.
“Ugh... I’ve never... Flown before... Plus I really... Really hate heights...” I struggled to say, I can’t begin to tell you how bad I was feeling at this point. My hands were shaking, stomach was churning, both my sight and balance were slightly off. I leaned onto the side so I didn’t have to worry about my balance anymore, not that it affected me anyway, I mean its not like I was walking around...
“Will you be alright for the remainder of the journey?” Celestia asked, she was concerned of the well being of her off-worldly visitor... Aka Me.
“Yeah... Just uh... Forgive the silence...” I replied, after that I fell asleep. I figured it was the best way to counter the sick feeling I got whilst in the air, it worked rather well.
Eventually I woke up to the discussion between Curt and Celestia, she had finally been informed about Curt and his endeavours in Equestria...
“-Finally I managed to get free from captivity” Curt was explaining to Celestia, “With the help of this human of course... Speaking of which...”
“Ugh, are we there yet?” I asked, praying that the trip wasn’t going to be much longer.
“We’re just taking a detour...” Celestia informed me, “Curt claw would like to be dropped off just a couple of miles away from his tribe-”
“Please stop the Carriage, I can walk from here...” Curt swiftly interrupted, I looked out of the side window. It was a desert, no, a badlands. Ever played Borderlands? Fallout? It’s a desert land just as such, well, except for the river going straight through it... Oh and the forest in the distance, but even further than the jungle, past the fog and the thick grey clouds, you could some kind of structure. It was too far away to see with the human eye, go figure then that I would wind up there at some point...
“Very well... Stop the Carriage...” Celestia ordered, the guards didn’t even hesitate, not for a second.
We finally landed and when we did I was the first one to exit, I dived out of the door and kissed the ground. “Oh land... How I’ve missed you...” I chirped out loud, I didn’t care if they heard me, I was feeling so much better the second we landed.
“This is perfect, thank you very much Princess...” Curt thanked Celestia, he seemed almost excited. This allowed me to have a few more laughs before I bid him farewell...
“Oh? Do you have a certain someone waiting for you?” I asked with the face of curiosity, it was time to execute plan ‘Wind Curt up before I say bye bye’ “Perhaps a certain Lioness?”
“W-what are you implying?!” Curt snapped back at me, it was easy to tell this made him uncomfortable. His face went red, how that’s even possible so see with all that fur I’ll never know, but I could see it plain as day.
“You must miss your sweetheart no?” Oh I’m such a terrible person, heck if the tables were turned I’d act just as Curt... I wouldn’t even know what to say, or even how to say it...
“M-my S-s-sweetheart?-” Curt blabbered, but Celestia took it into her own interests to ruin my fun.
“Please stop, I think you’re embarrassing him...” Celestia informed me, giggling slightly to show she understood what was going on.
“Fine fine... Royally spoiling my fun...” I uttered, keeping that last part as quiet as possible. “I apologise Curt, just trying to make the most of it that's all...”
“... I suppose I understand what you mean, it may be the last time we see each other again...” Curt Realised, then took it upon himself to get some payback. “In that case-”
He pounced towards me, quicker than I could even react. “W-Wait! Gah!” I shouted as he tackled me to the ground, I think I deserved it.
“This is for all the jokes!” Curt barked at me, “The ones relating to my stature being the main ones in question!”
Have you ever seen a young kid playing with a puppy? You know? The playful fumbling and all that jazz, it was basically like that for at least 5 or 10 minutes. It was nice, I’ve never had a pet, well a pet that lasted more than a month... All I ever had were goldfish, have you ever tried playing fetch with a fish? No? ... Neither have I... The only pets I’ve ever seen were the ones my grandparents and cousins had, I guess it was a pretty dull childhood... Thank god for technology and Mario right? That right there sums up my years, yeah, pretty dull and quiet... Just the way I like it...
“I’m going to miss you buddy, take care will ya?” I said to Curt, I was going to call him Red 13 but he wouldn’t understand the reference...
“And you too Nick the human, it’s been a pleasure...” Curt replied, he nodded to me and off he went into the distance. For such a small guy it really didn’t effect his speed...
“Now we can talk in private...” Celestia informed me, this con-puzzled me quite badly.
“Um, sorry?” I replied, unsure as to where this was going. “What about?”
“Your world... You’ve known about ours even before you arrived correct?” Celestia asked me, she knew something I didn’t...
“... Can we talk on the Carriage? This could be a very long conversation...” I added, I figured it would kill the travel time with something to do.
Celestia nodded and we got back onto the carriage, as it took off I began to feel sick again. But I wasn’t too worried about that, especially considering that this conversation could become quite controversial very quickly...
“Ok, let me begin... Your world is-” I began to say, but Celestia butted in on my explanation... This was for good reason however...
“A world of fiction?” She finished my sentence, “I’m afraid you're quite wrong about that...”
“Oh? Then please, do tell...” I jested, I leaned back and got comfy. “I’m all ears”
“Do you know of a human by the name of Faust?” Celestia asked me, well this threw me off straight away.
“Um, what? You mean the creator of the show?” I asked, at the time I was convinced that this was just a coincidence.
“The very same, for you see, she was the first human to be brought into this world...” Celestia informed me, well I didn’t see that coming...
“... W-what?!” I staggered, this was all getting to be just a bit too much for my brain to comprehend. “... So when she helped create the Generation 1 series in 1984... That was-”
“What she saw when she first arrived? That is correct...” This was blowing my mind, way more than realising who Trixie’s parents were. “Back then however the ponies of this land were always happy, content and smiling... Which was a problem when Griffons, Dragons and anything else which threatened us...”
“... That explains why in the present time the ponies have... Um, attitude? Sorry if that sounded bad but that's the only real way I can explain it...” I tried to say, what should I have said? They were more sassy, more ‘In your face?’ Meh, my explanation was way better anyway...
“In a way yes, we have changed much since then...” Celestia added, she had a good point. Heck, if I could stomach the earlier series I’d take a look but... Bah, they are way too ‘Cutesy’ for my taste... “Hang on... That means that she must have returned to this world on four separate occasions then correct?”
“Indeed” Celestia continued, “But to stop her from causing fear and shock to all the ponies I’ve tried to keep her hidden at Canterlot during those occasions, away from prying eyes... I did use some magic however so that she could observe the many different locations which have changed over the years, even the ponies as well...”
“... Why would you allow her to do that?” I asked, clearly I had missed something that only I would have not understood.
“Because she wanted to spread happiness in her own world, those ‘shows' that she created were for exactly that reason... She was inspired by this world and she did her best to recreate it in her own image... She did a remarkably good job...” Celestia informed me, it made sense actually...
“Hmm, I suppose I should ask how she got here in the first place... But considering I’ll be back at some point in the future I guess I can always ask that question next time right?”I asked, Celestia nodded and silence filled the carriage...
Around 5 minutes later I ended up falling asleep, I was woken up by one of the royal guards poking me in the face a while later.
“Gah! Ok ok, I’m up!” I shouted, Celestia was already gone.
“Follow me...” The guard ordered, this dude was wearing armour so I didn’t hesitate in following his orders... Would you have done? No? Yeah, didn’t think so...
He lead me out of the carriage and inside, now if you haven’t seen what Canterlot looks like just type it into Google... Seriously, do that right now... Heck it should come up with the Wiki for it... Where I landed was very specific, ok you have the image on the screen right? Ok, top left you can see a very thin bridge leading to either the left or right. We went towards the left, the big part right? Yeah, that’s the one. It turned out that this was the place she stored otherworldly artefacts, including a familiar scroll on the pedestal...
“Ah, you have awakened!” Celestia said, she was quite happy to see me, “I have prepared your transport...”
“Um, isn’t that scroll-” I began to utter, but Celestia knew what I was going to say... Again, seriously you can't have a proper conversation when she’s answering everything before you even finish what you're saying...
“The same as Discords? Not quite...” Celestia informed me, “It’s used only to transport beings back to when they were originally from... So it should send you home correct?”
“Yeah that’s it... So what do I do?” I asked, I wasn't even sure how this was going to work...
“Nothing...” Celestia said, her horn glowed and the scroll began to float. She didn’t have to say anything, the next thing that happened was that I was being surrounded by a bright light. “It was a pleasure young human, take care in your world...”
I was a little preoccupied however, “Ugh... This feels... Weird...”
“That’s called magic, you humans aren't used to it in such a form are you?” Celestia asked with a smirk, I think she knew what I thought about magic...
“... How much do you know about me? It seems like you know what I’m thinking before I even say it...” I asked, it didn’t add up at all...
Celestia just giggled to herself, “Don’t worry, everything will make sense... In time ...”
“In- What?” I began to say, she was speaking in riddles, or at least I thought so at the time. I slowly began to fade away, I looked at my hands and I was vanishing... No joke... “Oh and I have a lesson to pass onto your assistant in Ponyville...”
“Oh? Then please, go on...” Celestia replied, I was glad she gave me a chance before I vanished.
“During my time I’ve met a lot of people in my world, some I wish I hadn’t... But my point is this, no matter what or who they are, they should get a second chance no matter what... I gave Trixie that chance and I can honestly say I was glad I did....”
“Hmm, very well...” Celestia confirmed, I think she understood what I meant... Of course she did, she’s a supernatural being right? “It definitely sounds like a valuable lesson to be learnt...”
After that I began to glow... And then? Well... I can’t really remember... I woke up in my house on the floor, my head was killing me... Surrounded by the coats and jackets still lying on the floor I began to ponder what was even real anymore...
Did I seriously go where I thought I had?
Or was this all just some crazy dream?
Yeah, I could go on like that for a while. But the truth was this, as I got up from the floor I found the same backpack I had taken with me. I jested to myself and opened it up, then I found something that threw all my previous theory’s out the window, it was another letter... And a particular ball which belonged to Trixie...
“... No way...” I uttered, I thought I was mad... Well that’s true but not in the sense I was referring to, I then opened the letter and took a gander... It read...
Dear Nicholas The Standard and Normal Human, I hope that one day everything will be made clear, but for now all I can reveal is this... The rabbit hole is open, I cannot promise that you shall be safe from Discord... Even as the ruler of these lands I cannot protect you, however as I said before you left, ‘Everything will make sense in time’... At any given moment you could be sent back into our world... And if that does happen, you may not be surrounded by the kind and happy ponies of Equestria... In fact, you may appear somewhere less tolerable than you can imagine... Please do not lose hope, I’m certain that you will be fine...
It was an honour meeting you, your lessons and morals shall be remembered
Princess Celestia
“... You know what? I don’t even know anymore-” I uttered to myself, but I was interrupted by the doorbell. I made my way to the kitchen and unlocked the door, to my surprise it was my best friend... He wasn’t very happy...
“Dude, what the hell!?” He barked, “Where were you Monday? We were supposed to hang out remember?”
“... Just- ... Where do I even start...” I asked myself, I placed my hand over my head and pondered to myself.
“Um, are you ok? Sorry if I snapped but we had that planned for months...” He replied, when it comes down to it we’re pretty much the same. “What’s happened?”
“Dude, you wouldn’t even believe me if I tried...” I told him, I was sure he’d call me crazy...
He walked in and closed the door behind him, took off his shoes and walked right past me straight into the living room, I followed suit and he was already on the sofa... “... Ok, try me... What happened?”
“I thought I was in a world of fiction, but it’s closer to reality than I thought...” I told him, his name is Muz by the way... Well it’s actually Josh but that’s his nickname... “You know MLP right?”
“I’ve heard of it yes... Wait, let me guess... You went to their world or something like that right? How much cider did you have Sunday night?” Muz jested and joked, my silence however answered his question for me. We understand each other, we’ve known eachother since we were kids. “... Your serious? ... Ok... Ok... I’m all ears... What happened?”
“Ok, this is going to sound a little weird... But... Ugh... How do I put it into words” I asked myself, Then I figured it out...
“Ok, to start off. Have you ever heard or Marmite?-
The Standard and Normal Human: One : Meeting T.G.A.P. Trixie
An Unknown and Unforseen Situation
The Standard and Normal Human5
Déjà vu is a mysterious thing no? I mean I’ve felt that before in the past, like something similar had happened which is happening at that very moment. To be quite frank however I should have seen it coming, at least the city was a marvellous spectacle. There was a clock tower which peered over the vast amount of buildings around us, I looked around at my immediate surroundings and noticed where we were parked. It looked like the city center, a water fountain was right in the middle of the ‘square’. That’s what people call it right? The city Square? I’m pretty sure it is... Anyway, market stalls lined the area. There were walkways and even roads for carriages, from the looks of it this place was pretty high class. My idea, unfortunately, was that they were all pompous snobbish ponies who looked down their noses at everypony else around them, I’ve seen people like that before and let me tell you, it irritates me so very very much...
The buildings were made of wood, western style, I’m sure I mentioned this before, but there’s a lot more to say actually. They were very neatly placed, by this I mean that they seem to fit perfectly next to each other, same spacing, same design. It was perfection, Death the Kid would be having a fit if he saw them. Well, until he saw the rest of it anyway. The market stalls weren't placed very efficiently, almost as if they were just dragged and dropped from one place to another. Untidy and randomly, but there was quite a lot for sale.
I turned to Trixie, wanting to do something that I had yet to do on my own... “Hey Trix” I began, “Do you mind if I just kind of ‘wander’ around for a bit?”
She turned to be, unsure of my motives. “Didn’t we discuss how you walking around in the open effects everypony?”
“Well yes, but could it get much worse?” I replied, trying to reason with her. “Besides, if I walk around inspecting shops, wouldn’t I look a little less suspicious and scary?”
My logic, at that moment, made no sense. It rarely does infact, but I think Trixie let me off, she looked at me, sighed and said “Fine...”
“Thanks Trix!” I chirped happily as I removed the rest of my suit and placed it in the cupboard, then made my way back to the stage and hopped down onto the dusty ground.
Then I began to observe everything with more clarity, the stalls sold a vast array of things. These varied from hand made goods like pottery, jewellery, pocket watches which looked ‘Amazing’ by the way. One stall sold monocles, very ‘spiffing’ if I do say so myself. I even found a stall with top hats, however I decided not to touch anything. If I was being watched, and I’m pretty sure I was by the way, then by showing respect to their things I would hopefully appear to not be a danger to any pony. That was the plan at the time, I passed by the stalls I had seen before and explored further. I walked down the road and could see far into the distance, there were shops, houses, saloons, hotels. They had everything that you would want for the hustle and bustle of city life, I looked around for a cake shop but I think it might have been in another part of town. The area was silent, a sudden breeze picked up and glided through the street kicking dust into my eyes. I recoiled and covered my eyes, trying to clear them and regain my vision.
Suddenly, Trixie shouted from the wagon. “Don’t go too far out! I wouldn’t want you getting lost!”
“It’s ok, I wouldn’t think of it” I shouted back, I’m unsure whether its a fear or not but I still can’t stand not knowing where I am. It can get to the point where I physically feel sick, being that this was a city I knew nothing about I knew would want to stay close to the square.
I wiped my eyes and ventured forth, making sure that I could remember the path I was taking. This city reminded me of Lincoln, how it slopes down a slow but steady inclining road. It wasn’t a sharp one, but it was noticeable. You would get to a certain point and you would be met with a crossroads, leading to more stores. I have to be honest, it was an amazing place and I’m absolutely ruining the setting with my lack of ‘Good’ description. It’s not an easy place to describe, I suppose if I had to compare it I would say think Appleloosa but city sized. Then add semi-detached houses and rows of buildings in very neat lines, I’m explaining myself more than once but it’s to paint the picture in your mind and, like I said, it’s not an easy place to describe...
As I headed down, I could hear the scurrying of hoofsteps behind me, I was being followed. I kept my wits about me and continued onward, another noise was in the distance and it wasn’t hoofsteps that time. I decided to keep a low profile, I could see an alleyway on my left and headed down it, listening keenly for what now sounded like music and machinery. There were doors leading to houses as I made my way down the alley, several metal bins were against the walls, there wasn’t any litter lying around so they were pretty well placed and doing their job. I almost bumped into several ponies, they saw me, gasped loudly and sharply, and bolted. I was seen in the square sure, but this was a city and that meant I wouldn’t be fully noticed until my presence was exposed to the entire population... And I’m not very keen on crowds or speeches. The music was crystal clear now, I got to the end of the alley and peeked around the corner. Two ponies were delivering something, as I observed I figured out that they were newspapers. They were being given to the passers by using some kind of conveyer belt, reminded me of a show I used to watch on TV. I can’t remember what it was about, at the end of the show you had to remember what items passed you by. It always had a cuddly toy, every single time...
“Step right up folks!” A familiar voice shouted clearly and concisely, “ Come and get you news papers right here!”
“Read all about the Princess’s visit to Dodge Junction right here folks!” The same voice said, but it sounded like it was coming from another direction.
And then I figured it out, with their candy cane coloured manes and their blue and white outfits, it was none other than the Flim and Flam brothers. The same duo which helped spark my love for steam punk, they were also the same duo who tried to get AJ to accept 25% of the joint profit. I’m glad they were run out of town, but I was more surprised than anything. Why on earth were they delivering papers? But then my mind clicked and I had a pretty good guess what was going on, if they were working with the pony-media, then there must be plenty of money in it for them. Not to mention they had the means to deliver these papers far and wide, using that nice shiny steam powered wagon they were driving. Attached to the back was the machine which passed the papers around, I thought it was unnecessary but didn’t think any further than that.
Suddenly, one of the bins behind me fell to the ground. I turned around briskly and leaned from side to side to see who it was, but it wasn’t as surprising as I first thought. “Trix?”
Her head popped up from behind the bin and she made her way towards me, “I was worried, I couldn’t just leave you wandering around on your own...” Trixie began to explain, she seemed rather nervous. “Especially if you’ve never been here before...”
I looked at her in the eyes, they were darting all over the place. I’m no expert but I figured something was up, “You uh, ok?” I started, slightly worried for her. “You seem... Troubled?”
“W-what? What would ‘Trixie’ Be worried about?!” She said, referring to herself in the third person.
Now, I got to know her pretty well and by that time I was on day 4. But I learnt this, whenever she really ‘Really’ didn’t want to talk about something, she reverted back to that persona of hers. It mostly happened when on the topic of her past... and parents, but for whatever reasons at the time I had no idea. I had several guesses though, she seemed to refer to them very little and I hadn’t heard a good word about them up to that point. To be honest it made me unnerved to see her so worried that she had to put on an act to avoid any questioning, I knew it was bad... So instead of bombarding her with questions, I did her a favour and changed the subject.
“What’s going on over there?” I asked, trying to change the conversation. “Look’s pretty busy...”
“Huh? Oh, Um...” Trixie replied, initially slightly confused with my question. “... It looks like there passing out newspapers...”
“Huh, so they are...” I replied, pretending to know nothing. “Perhaps I should go and say hi...”
“W-wait, what?!” Trixie spluttered as I strolled into the open and headed towards the brothers, she followed close behind me. “Nick! Stop!”
I put my hands in my pockets and casually made my way to where all the ponies were, when they saw me walking towards them, have a guess what they did? Some ran away as per usual, but others all did the same action as one another. They looked down at their papers, then up at me, they repeated this several times until they understood what I was. As they did this I looked in confusion, well, until Trixie picked one of the newspapers up from the floor and showed it to me. It was the same one we saw on the train, meaning that it mentioned my existence and friendly nature. That fact was a godsend as they then began looking at each other and just observed as I was now right behind the business obsessed brothers.
“So, uh... What’s this thing do?” I asked plainly, trying to get them to turn around asking such a basic question.
“Well let us tell you young colt!” They said together, ready to break into song... Still with their backs to me by the way...
“It’s a Paper-conveyer! Set to hand out papers to the fella’s!” ‘...And mares’
“It’s a basic machine! Doing simple tasks is just too easy you see?” ‘...Too easy you see?’
“It’s a turning point! Imagine what you could do with such a-” ‘...Dear Celestia! What is That!?”
One of them interrupted the other, as they had finally turned around and was witness to me, a tall creature walking on two feet, grinning with such enthusiasm that they had never seen before.
“No please! Carry on!” I said, trying to stop myself laughing as they just stared at me blankly. “I-I’m sorry but that ‘Was’ priceless!” I stumbled to the floor and began laugh out of control, the first song I had heard in this world and I had caused them to stop dead. While we’re on the subject, I have a small confession to make...
You see, when they start to sing on the show, my brain just turns off. It’s a natural instinct, it causes me to mute the song and walk away until it’s over. I should just swallow my pride and bear with it but no, I find it unbelievably uncomfortable and I have to bail immediately. Musicals and shows that burst into song instantaneously are shows that I try to avoid, I still do that now. I have other confessions but they will be explained in time.
I could see the bewilderment in their faces, they were twins and yet their expressions couldn’t have been any more different. I had no idea who was who, I had seen the show but at the time I couldn’t remember. Until they introduced themselves...
“Well, this was unexpected...” The moustache-less brother stated, looking at his brother he shrugged his shoulders and he tipped his hat towards me. “Let us introduce ourselves... My name is Flim!”
“And my name is Flam!” His brother replied, that thing on his face was way bigger in person. I just stared at it thinking, ‘Now, should I ask him how he -? No, no... Don’t be stupid, he’d never tell me... Or would he?’
“I have a question for you Flam, Answer as simply as possible...” I began, leaning forward to emphasise my curiosity. “How did you get that moustache ‘That’ long?!”
He recoiled in sheer shock and then, immediately afterwards, he began to laugh loudly. “Your first question and it’s about my moustache?!” He asked happily, I could see his sides were hurting from all the chucking. “Quite the way to break the ice there young human...”
“Well at least your not all fleeing in fear...” I replied, slowly looking around at the crowd of ponies just staring at me. “... I think I’ve had that happened enough times to me for a lifetime”
Trixie joined us and stood beside me, but what would happen next would be quite surprising. “What are you two doing out here?” Trixie asked the brothers, as if she knew them.
“Ah, if it isn’t ‘The Great and Powerful Trixie!” Flim began to say rather happily, “We go wherever business and bits takes us...”
“Are you looking for more part-time work?” Flam asked with a smile, “If you're short on money we could use some assistance...”
And Just like that my own question had been answered, a freelance entertainer who doesn’t work for money and gives ponies free entertainment, has a part time job to accommodate food and supplies for themselves... To some extent that actually made some sense...
“Huh, you guys know each other?” I asked, curious to how they met. “How’d you wind up crossing paths?”
“Well, I was doing a show in Manehattan...” Trixie began to explain, “When I finished I realised how much money I had left...”
“I’ll never understand why you don’t charge ponies for those shows you do” Flim remarked, “You could make a living doing that...”
“Nah” I uttered in response, “She believes in ‘Free Entertainment’, money isn’t everything... Even the world I’m from has people who think like that... It’s not uncommon...”
“True, but can it put food on the table? Or pay the bills?” Flam quipped, with his business like logic in play. “Money plays an important part in the world, which is why we’re business-mares”
“I can kinda see that...” I stated, eyeing the machine behind them. “Working with the media huh? I’m just glad I’ve not seen a reporter yet...”
I’m not a fan of the media or the newspaper companies, for several reasons in fact...
For starters, it’s not always ‘News’, the majority is just about celebrities and gossip. My point is this, that isn’t news. Things like that should be in a magazine, not in something we buy to know what’s going on in the world, it’s something that boggles my mind. Another reason is when they interview or even write about people, some have absolutely no respect and just twist the story to their will...
Anyway, less of my rambling. Trixie continued with her story, “It just so happened that these two were asking for assistance for a job they were doing...”
“That job involved making fireworks” Flam informed me, kind of surprising but it did explain why she had a large stock in the wagon. “We were preparing for ‘Nightmare Night’, quite a large tradition in this world...”
He went on to explain what this celebration was, I was nodding, pretending to listen to what I was being told. I knew all of this anyway, which is why I’m leaving that part out. Why explain things that we both know right? It’s pointless and it was quite a lengthy conversation anyway, during this time he explained how Trixie helped them out with their work. They needed a magic user for a start, they were assembling the fireworks by hand... Er, hoof. This was due to one of their machines failing and combusting on itself, this set them back and they required some assistance. It just so happened that Trixie was in need of some money, they accepted her help and explained what she had to do. They didn’t want to hire too many ponies, otherwise it would set them back substantially. Anyway, they did the work and paid her for the labour, it was during this time that they were also creating yet another machine. A juicing machine no less... They apparently called it ‘The Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000”... Go figure right? They created this machine, tested it out and even used it to sell juice to the ponies they encountered. They did however hit a slight hitch, they didn’t know where they could get a mass amount of fruit for this plan to work.
Now, this part is a going to get rather interesting to some of you. Trixie informed them of a ‘certain’ town which may have had the working material they needed to make it into a successful business, they headed there and... You know the rest... They got what was coming... Just like Trixie. But it wasn’t until I had a go at them that they learned an extremely vital lesson...
“We were so blind and sure of ourselves, we couldn’t even see that the machine wasn’t doing what it was supposed to...” Flam remarked, trying to get some sympathy. “We relied on it too much and worst of all, we eventually broke our machine...”
That ‘last’ part didn’t sit too well with me, “Excuse me?” I said, rather irritated by what had just been said. “You nearly took a family out of business and yet all ‘You’ cared about was your machine?!”
“We’re business mare’s!” Flim quipped at me, “We need to take care of ourselves!”
“Right, but you could have done what you did another way!” I argued, waving my hands around to etherise how much this annoyed me. “I’m no business man, but I did learn a lot about it at school. You could have gone halves and worked with them as a partnership, you could have offered them a better deal which would have been fairer and more reasonable, you could have even moved on to somewhere else, yet instead you tried to take down a small family business for your own personal gain! ... I’m sorry but I’ve got no sympathy for you on that one...”
“Nick!” Trixie barked at me, “Could you calm down just a bit?”
I wasn’t listening, “That’s not business... That’s just being greedy...” I stated plainly, shaking my head with a shameful look. Eventually I calmed down and tried to reason with them, “Instead of trying to take control, try working with others on these business endeavours. Use those machines to help others around you, I promise you it will go a lot smoother... For both you and your brother...”
They were left speechless, all they could do was look at each other and think back to their past years... It turned out that they wasn’t so different from what Trixie was like now...
“I remember when we began creating those machines... It was to help our town...” Flim conveyed, revealing things about his past I never knew at the time. “The economy was so low, there was nothing bringing ponies to our town. So there was no business, no money, it caused some of the townsfolk to move away...”
“I remember the first machine we built...” Flam joined in as this self reflection session was going on, “It was a steam powered mini-wagon, all we did was tricks and jumps. Passers by heard about this and ponies finally came to our town, eventually it became well known and even now it’s still a very successful and busy town...”
I didn’t realise at the time how much they were regretting their actions, I wasn’t even paying attention to the ponies around us. “Just do me and yourselves a favour ok?” I asked them, they looked at me and nodded. “Don’t forget why you started doing what you're doing, greed can blind you quite easily...”
Silence lingered around us, it was pretty awkward.
Trixie however broke this silence, with a simple question no less. “Since when were you such a public speaker?” Trixie asked me, truly surprised by my performance. “You can make a rather good point when you want to can’t you?”
“Well I try...” I replied smugly, I looked at the brothers and could see my words were sinking in, as well as their original goal coming back into their view. It bugged me so I snapped them out of it. “Ugh, just stop it the pair of you...”
They looked up at me, slightly confused as to what I was about to say. “Don’t forget you have a job to do, also don’t forget to help others around you” I began to say, slowly bringing them back to reality. “You could worry about the past but that’s pointless, focus on what’s happening now... What’s done is done, ‘Move On...”
“You’re a very strange creature aren't you?” Flim asked me, I laughed in response. “Why are you laughing?”
I was about to answer but Trixie beat me to it, “That’s exactly what I said...” She informed them, then looked at me with a smile. This of course made me embarrassed and I looked away briskly, scratching my head as I did it. I’m a modest person, I’d also prefer to have the least amount of attention as possible. “He’s not so bad when you get to know him...”
My attention was locked and I wandered off towards the machine that they were using, they had started talking about the last time they had met Trixie, I figured that they could use a group talk or something like that... Well that’s the excuse I used to take a look at what they were carting around, it was basically a conveyer. It looked remarkably similar to the wrapping machine I use at work, all it needed was a heated wire, some plastic wrap and roller bar, which allows the items to roll off the belt, then you would have the potential to make a food wrapping machine. Then again, plastic was a human creation right? Maybe it could carry food down it and then the ponies could wrap them in paper or something, the point I’m trying to get across is that they could have made machines to help businesses. Heck, if they sold a single machine to a business then perhaps word would spread. They could sell them for a fair price and as a result help others around them. They would be making an honest living by doing that, perhaps return to check the machine for maintenance every 3 months or something.
I’m starting to sound like a bad advertisement... Not to mention I’m rambling...
Flam noticed my interest in their machine and began to approach me, “Ah, curious about our gizmos are we?” He asked, acting a lot friendlier than before. “You’ve probably never seen anything like this before have you... You see, It runs off of Stea-”
“Steam?” I interrupted him, looking unsurprised and quite sure of myself. As I spoke, I used hand signals to explain parts I was talking about. “I’m not an engineer but I figured out how it works... Coal powers the engine which pulls the chain, the chain is connected to the belt, this turns and then this ‘doohickey’ knocks the papers onto the conveyer, sending them to the far end...”
“Are these kind of machines widely used in your world?!” Flim asked me with a serious tone, genuinely interested in the world I come from.
“Um, you could say that...” I replied, unsure as to where this was going.
“Tell you what, let’s get a bite to eat and you can explain everything there...” Flam proposed, I was rather happy with this plan for several reasons, the main one being that I could brag about myself and the world I’m from, all whilst getting free food to boot. It was truly the greatest day ever...
They led through the city to a restaurant, it was called The White Colt. Ironic because there's a pub in my town called The White Horse... And there’s one called The Black Horse... And another called th- You know that? I think I’ll stop and just say that there’s at least five in my town. We were being followed by quite the number of curious ponies. But you know what they say right? Curiosity allowed the pony to meet an awesome human... Ok there isn’t a saying for that kind of situation but it ‘was’ rather different, I was used to being avoided, but at the time I was being followed. Completely the opposite and rather unnerving, I shrugged and carried on like it was nothing new.
As we entered, I could feel everypony's eyes focusing on me with curiosity. Flam turned and looked at me, he could see my concern as I looked around the room. He wasn’t stupid, so he uttered something to the staff at the reception and led us to a table in the corner of the room. It was slightly concealed and out of the way, I gave a sigh of relief and took the seat nearest to the wall. It was a nice place to eat, the atmosphere was amazing. As you entered you were greeted by a reception and then guided to a free table, passing many paintings, statues, plants and even a water fountain on the way. Light music was being played in the background, I recognised the instrument being used straight away, a violin. Before you even ask, No, I have absolutely no idea how ponies are capable of using them without fingers and/or thumbs. Unless it’s a unicorn of course... Then it makes sense...
The walls were painted red, which seemed to glow as the lights around them hit the smooth surface. The oak wood tables were polished and varnished to perfection, they weren't very big but they did the trick. The chairs weren't too bad, soft red cushions and a strong wooden support. Candle lights were set at the tables, best of all was the staff keeping this place going. They came to take our orders, didn’t even see me as unusual, then walked away like I was just one of their normal customers...
Eventually we began our preplanned conversation, Flim was the first to axe me. “So, where did you come from?”
“Wow... Such a polite way to put it...” I remarked, that could have sounded so wrong. Luckily I don’t think they understood the human understanding of ‘Why that sounded so bad’ in the first place. It’s a kids show, a kids world, certain details are avoided at all costs to maintain the child safe environment of which I was standing at that very moment... Or sitting in if I have to be precise. “Well, where do I begin... I come from a town called *Censored* , I’ve lived there my entire life. It’s quiet, calm and rather boring on a day to day basis...”
They listened with such keen ears, my life story isn’t that grand and I didn’t deserve that much attention. “I have a job in a bakery just out of town, it’s a 5 mile journey and takes around 12 minutes to get there-” I was interrupted by Flam, who seemed to think I said something rather off.
“Impossible!” He shouted, making me jump and recoil into my seat. “Such a journey should take much longer!”
“Ok, that was a bit loud...” I replied, signalling for him to keep his voice down. “You're assuming we’re using wagons... We don’t, we use cars...”
“Cars?” Flim questioned, his head reversed in shock. “What in the name of Celestia is a ‘Car’?
This, of course, lead to me, a human with zero understanding of engineering, having to explain what on earth cars were and how they worked. Have you ever been in this kind of position before? I know for a fact that, at that very moment, I was in this very predicament. When it came to certain details I had to ask for a quill and a sheet of paper to attempt to draw what I was talking about. Yet another thing I hadn’t done before was use a quill, how in the name of everything did Shakespeare use the darned thing to write plays?! He must have been a saint as I was struggling to hold it steady let alone write with it, then when it ran out I didn’t know what to do, until I finally realised I needed an ink well... This was the first time I had felt so out of place ‘physically’, I could handle the mental part but everything seemed to keep piling on...
“It’s just occurred to me” Flim began to wonder, scratching his head slightly in confusion. “How do you know how to speak like us?”
“I’m sorry?” I replied in a confused manner, literally having no idea what he meant. “Care to re-literate?”
“You can speak our language...” Flam re-explained, “How did you learn it so fast?”
“Actually...” Trixie spoke up, slowly understanding what was being explained. “He’s been talking like that since I brought him here...”
The brothers gasped for two reasons, One was that Trixie just admitted she brought me into this world and Two, that I had been speaking their language the very moment I stepped into their world. This, my friends, would turn out to be a very long conversation... It started with the initial reaction, you know, being shouted at by the brothers at roughly the same time...
“You brought him here?” Flim shouted ecstatically, “How in Equestria did you do that?!”
“How is that even possible?” Flam remarked sharply, “You can’t have learnt our language that fast!”
I looked at Trixie and shook my head and widened my eyes, trying to signal that this could take a while to explain. Then me and Trixie looked at the corresponding brothers to aim our answers towards, this was about to get confusing...
“I used some kind of magic scroll I... ‘Acquired” Trixie began to explain to Flim, leaving out certain details which would have looked and sounded really bad. “It was a summoning spell, specifically one aimed at another world...”
“It’s possible because I’m speaking English” I replied to Flam, his head tilted the very second I used that word. “”In fact ‘your’ speaking English right now... We ‘All’ are...”
The brothers slammed their hooves into the table and shouted in complete harmony, “That’s Preposterous! Impossible and Ridiculous!”
I took one look at Trixie and then looked back at the pair of them, I don’t even know how we managed but we gave the exact same response in perfect sync. “No, it’s True, Possible and Quite Believable...”
“But could we talk one at a time please!” I said as I buried my head into my hands, showing my gradual confusion as the conversation crisscrossed back and forth. “Trix, do you want to start?”
“Of course...” Trixie replied happily, understanding the situation completely. “I used a strange scroll in Appleloosa with specific instructions on summoning what it wrote as a ‘Human’, It created a large purple portal in the air and about five minutes after it opened, this strange creature before you appeared”.
“Before you ask, I’ll explain from my point of view...” I started, knowing full well that they would like to know how I managed to end up on this end. “I was preparing to see an old buddy of mine, I was grabbing my jacket out of the cupboard. As I removed it I could see a strange swirling purple circle on the wall, stupidly I touched it and it began to drag me in... I fell from a few meters from the air onto my back on a stage and found myself in this world...”
“... Amazing...” Flim said, completely flabbergasted by the events being told to him and his brother. “So when did she teach you to talk?”
I turned my head towards him and mime' d the phrase, ‘You what?’ I was slightly insulted, it sounded like I was her pet or something, which we established at the very beginning of this relationship/friendship that I wasn’t one.
“I didn’t...” Trixie uttered, confusing both herself and F&F. Yes, that’s my new terminology when talking about these two together. Saying the word ‘Brothers’ over and over again is quite tedious, so this shall suffice. “Wait, what did you say we were all speaking?”
“What? English?” I replied, saying it so casually sounded so wrong to them. “I’ve already said, it’s the language were all speaking now...”
“No, right now ‘We’re’ speaking the pony language” Flam informed me... Incorrectly by the way...
“Which is English“ I quipped back at him, “I’m not arguing, I know that what I’m speaking now is English, besides if ‘I’m’ speaking English and ‘You’re’ speaking pony, then surely that means that they are the same thing no?”
Our argument was interrupted as the waitress arrived and brought us our meals, Trixie got some kind of salad, F&F got a vegetable lasagna, as for me I got yet another vegetable curry. It’s something that I’ll eat in their world, ever tried eating hay or anything like that? I tried once and I nearly hurled, it’s disgusting and yet they seemed to love it... The waitress bowed and walked away, continuing her work as she was doing. We ate our meals, which kept us quiet by the way. It gave me a chance to go over a couple of things in my head. I couldn’t possibly tell them the reality of the situation could I? I couldn’t have said ‘Oh, and by the way guys, we created your world as fiction which is why you're speaking my language...’ Come to think of it, doesn’t that mean that I’m technically older than their world? I mean I’m 21 now but back when this happened I was around 20... The show is barely 2 years old I think... Then again does that mean I have to take the other MLP generations into account? I’ve lost my trail of thought, what I mean is that explaining that we created their world for entertainments sake would be impossible, for a start I’d have to begin by saying its a TV show, which leads to yet more questions like ‘What’s a TV?’ Then ‘How did you get that into the TV?’. Beginning and ending this conversation would have been impossible, period. Which is why I decided to keep quiet the entire time I was there... Up to a certain point anyway...
“I suppose it doesn’t matter that much...” Trixie concluded, slowly munching on a piece of lettuce. “Besides, Nick can’t stay here forever...”
“What do you mean?” Flam questioned Trixie, curious as to what she meant. “Do you even know how to get him back?”
“Not really, but our last stop is Canterlot” I interrupted, adding to the conversation. “I was hoping the Princess of these lands could help me out...”
“What do you mean ‘Help you out?” Flim questioned, “She’s of royal blood, why would the princess help you?”
I couldn’t really answer, I just kind of shrugged my shoulders. Eventually I spoke up... “Because I’m such a charming ‘fellah’, come on, what other choices do I have?”
“He has a point brother, if anyone could help him its the princess...” Flam added as he took a big mouthful of lasagna.
Then it happened, that moment I thought I would never had because I take all of the precautionary steps to avoid it at all costs. I was eating in a restaurant and I had no money... None... When I realised this I had to stop eating as I began to panic slightly...
“Um, Flam or Flim?” I began, quizzing both of them, hoping that I would get an answer from either of them which would make me feel better. “... I... I don’t have any money, how am I supposed to pay for myself?”
“I needn't worry about that Nick” Flim reassured, taking out a small pouch from his shirt, then placing it on the table in front of us. “We’ll be more than happy to pay so don’t worry...”
I sighed with relief, I brought my hands together, bowed my head and prayed. “Thank you kind Sir!” I then resumed in eating like the human I am and I cleared my plate. It was delicious, it was the equivalent of a korma... And I love a good korma... Eventually we all finished our meals and we were well and truly stuffed, F&F paid for the meal and Trixie left some money for the tip. We got up, thanked the staff, and wandered outside. I observed the ponies around me and could still sense some uncertainty, that was until a young filly, who was hiding behind her carer, waved her hoof at me. I waved back with a smile but didn’t get an immediate response. Instead, the parent saw this and dragged the filly away. Just before they left, I saw the filly smile and wave back at me. This made me smile, it wasn’t like the fear I had witnessed a second earlier. In fact it disappeared in those short moments, I didn’t feel like a scary creature anymore... I felt normal...
This made me feel like a million bits! I looked up at the sky, it was past midday, I think it would have been around 2 or maybe 3pm at the time. We walked all the way back to Trixie’s wagon, Flam was talking to her about something but I wasn’t sure what it was about. Whatever it was it looked serious, I think Flim could see this as so decided to take the lead and show me something he thought I hadn’t seen before.
“I’ve got an idea, Flam, you head back with Trixie. I’m going to show Nick around the city...” Flim announced, it sounded like a good idea to me at the time. “C’mon, lets walk...”
“Um, sure” I replied, unknowing as to what he was planning. We began to walk back down the inclining hill, passing many different buildings as we ventured onwards. But Flim wasn’t saying anything, he said he was going to show me around and yet he hadn’t spoken a word. “So, where we heading?”
“Well, I figured you’d want a break from being the center of attention” Flim explained, we walked deeper into the outskirts until we came to a clearing. Now heading towards something in the distance. It looked like a circus tent, “So I thought I’d show you some pony world entertainment...”
“Uh huh...” I muttered in response, wishing I was now walking the other way. “I get the feeling that your brother knows Trixie a little better than you, what were they talking about?”
“I’ve got no idea, perhaps they have something in common...” Flim answered, unsure of the details himself. “All I know is that they talked quite a lot whilst they were working... I think she mentioned her parents at some point...”
As we got closer I slowly regretted not running away and screaming like a child on the way to the dentist, let me explain...
Me and Circuses don’t get along well, you see when I was a kid my parents took me to a circus when I was about 6 years old. We were sitting in the middle row and my parents were enjoying the show so far, as for me I was rather cautious. Clowns look like pretty sinister creatures, suddenly, one of the clowns came right up to my face and I swear on my life I was the most terrifying thing I have seen in my entire life thus far... Well, that and a certain character from the old windows 98 PC game, Lego island... But that doesn’t matter right now... It’s fuelled my fear of circuses, carnivals, performers, heck there's a list but mainly its just clowns... Male clowns to be precise, no idea why but female clowns seem rather cute to me...
Wait... Why am I even telling you any of this?!
“Here we are!” Flim announced, slowly turning around he could see the look on my face, one of uncertainty and worry. “”Are you ok?”
“... Peachy...” I replied, having terrifying thoughts of the last time I came so close to a circus. It sent shivers down my spine, but I decided to try and get past this problem by facing my own fears. “Ok, lets go...”
As we came closer to the tent, I noticed posters, flyers and signposts of a certain duo being right here in Trottingham. I took the poster off the wall it was stuck to and read it out aloud, at the time it didn’t mean anything much...
‘Come one and come all, see the magnificent Lunamoon Duo perform for your amusement and entertainment. Tickets cost 10 bits per pony, fillies get to watch for 3!’
‘Lunamoon?’ I thought to myself, ‘Why on earth is that last name familiar?’
I put the poster in my pocket and carried on walking... Suddenly, Flim started talking to himself, eventually it became an outside voice and then informed me of what he was thinking. “Darn, I forgot all about the wagon me and my brother use. I should get back and make sure everything is secure...” He began, then taking out his pouch and counting he passed me 10 bits. “Here, go and watch the show, I’ll be back later...”
He then ran off and left me there, alone...
For a moment I just kind of stood there, not moving, unsure as to how I should react... After several minutes I shrugged my shoulders and just started roaming around the area, it wasn’t just a circus tent as I eventually found out. There was an entire area set out like some kind of carnival, there were carnival folk ponies with their own stalls and games scattered around. Candied apples, cotton candy, sweets, cakes, a dunk bucket, they had the whole shebang.
“You look lost” A random voice said behind me, I turned around as was witness to quite a strange looking pony. It was a colt, he wore a top hat, a cape and what appeared to be half a mask. Pure white with a hole for the eye, it was rather creepy and yet strangely familiar... “C’mon, I’ll show you around...”
He started pushing me towards one of the larger tents, I wanted to decline his offer but he was persistent “W-what? Um, no that’s fine, I’m just browsing around...”
“I insist...” He said rather wickedly, whatever his intentions I wasn’t so sure I could trust him. We entered the tent, gigantic in size on the outside. On the inside it was pitch black, apart from the center of the room being lit up, with one chair standing in the light.
“I really should get going-” I tried to explain but he pushed me onwards.
“It’s ok, please take a seat...” He asked, pointing his hoof towards the empty chair. I reluctantly sat down as he circled and then stood opposite to me, “I’ve been hearing about your endeavours in this world ‘Human’, it sounds like you’ve been having quite the adventure...”
“You could say that...” I replied, trying to view my surroundings to view what was in the darkness. I couldn’t hear anything except the eerie sound of something tapping a metal surface. “I can’t stay forever though, I need to get back home...”
“You’ve been assisting a certain ‘Show Pony’ with their show haven’t you...” He began to say, his motives still completely unknown to me. “You could be doing so much more than helping a filly who works for free, you could make a fortune...”
“Like I said, I can’t stay forever... In fact, I’ve got to head home tomorrow.” I stated clearly, hoping that this guy would stop with the questions already.
“It’s such a shame, you could have been famous... Made a fortune... Just like me...” He stated, then he slowly walked away from where I was. “Instead, I guess you’ll have to be part of the show...”
“Excuse me?” I questioned, it sounded more like it was going to happen against my will. “What on earth do you mean by that?-”
I was interrupted by the sound of something falling and slamming down around me, it almost gave me a heart attack. I quickly walked towards the entrance I had come through but I walked face first into a metal bar. I quickly found out that these bars were surrounding me, this wasn’t good at all, it was a trap...
“And now you’re just another part of my collection...” He shouted, the lights came on and my horrors had been realised. I was in a cage, next to other cages with strange and wondrous creatures around me. They varied from Lions, bears, dogs, sea serpents... It wasn’t looking good...
“You can’t do this!” I shouted back at him, clinging onto the bars with fear and anger. “I don’t belong here! I need to get home!”
“I’m afraid you’re a little late deciding that aren't you?” He said, quite cock sure of himself. “You could have headed home the very second you arrived but instead stayed for your own selfish reasons, why else are you here?”
I didn’t answer... He was right after all... All I could do was sit in my chair as this strange colt exited the tent, I took out the poster that I stashed away in my pocket and looked at the picture of the ‘Duo’ again... The same colt who had just captured me was none other than Mr Lunamoon himself, the same pony who was making a killing as a performer.
I looked around me and directly to my left was a cage... With a lion in it... I was both irritated and worried, times like this I tend to try and bury it under the rug with stupidity. I turned to the lion, it was just sitting there watching me, “So... What are you in for?” I asked rhetorically, knowing full well that I wouldn’t get an answer...
“Same reason you're here” The lion said back to me... Yeah, I know right?
I immediately freaked out and recoiled in such a way that I fell backwards off my chair in complete and absolute shock. I pointed towards the lion with my shaking hand and shouted, “Holy Crap! You can Talk!?”
I can honestly say that I didn’t expect that...
The Standard and Normal Human: One : Meeting T.G.A.P. Trixie
I would like to thank everybody who has followed this story from the very start, the ones who gave me feed back, ideas and the support to keep this story going! (You all know who you are, I thank you!)
(Also Shout Out to Lein and Aru for both of their ideas! You helped to make this story better!)
Now I feel as though I need to explain something, it's not very serious but actually it's rather important.
The Protagonist is myself, Nicholas, aka Nick yeah?
Well, everything about myself that I have said in this story is quite true... No this doesn't mean going to their world, although if that were the case I'm sure my attitude would be rather different.
No, what I'm referring to is this...
I hate clowns, heights, in fact, as I said above, everything about me in this story is true.
Minus the train ride and flight, in RL I've never been in any of these vehicles and so I'm waiting to feel what its like for myself when I finally travel by plane and train.
Hopefully I wont feel sick...
And Now for Story Time :P
The concept for This story (The Standard and Normal Human 1) came to me about about 17 weeks ago, before I was even a member on FimFiction.
I had seen the episode with Trixie in it many months prior to this and something was bugging me...
Yes I found her extremely annoying, but why?
I started thinking that maybe there was something I didn't know about her, I mean considering she's played a major role in ONE episode and yet I've got such a strong dislike of her, I then began to start thinking to myself again.
'Why do I dislike her if I know NOTHING about her?!
...Then just like that my brain got to work, then that faithful day came when I asked myself, 'I wonder what It would be like being stuck with Trixie?' (For me Personally that is)
I ended up writing the first chapter as a Test, a Trial if you will. I got some peeps to take a look and, Eventually, I put it on here... And here I am :P
The next story to follow was inspired by a certain comment by Aru:
Aru : *'I wonder when somebody write a fanfick with poor human who is going to land inside of Griffon Empire. Griffons probably are less tolerant than ponies. :yay: ' *
I won't start immediately but It will definitely be written...
(Also, 600+ Have read the first chapter and 2000+ have read overall.
I never expected that at all so thanks for that!
You have no idea how big the smile is on my face :D <-- Bigger than this one obviously)
