Chapters Chapter 1: 800 Years Later
So, you want to hear a story, huh?
One where the very fate of Equestria hangs in the balance?
If not, too bad! I'm telling you anyway.
800 years ago, there was a pony named Twilight Sparkle.
She was off fighting evil with her best friends, but eventually, she met her match, the Queen of Changelings herself, Chrysalis.
Twilight Sparkle defeated Chrysalis, and Chrysalis also defeated Twilight Sparkle.
By killing her friends and parents, a new pony was born from the darkness.
A mare, who called herself... Handsome Sparkle.
She grew in power with Princess Celestia, and made her own company, named Hyponion.
Handsome Sparkle was an unpredictable and devious mare, she killed anypony who mentioned the name Chrysalis, and she eventually became the unofficial leader of Equestria.
Before she became Handsome Sparkle, however, she had 5 friends who were willing to stick by her everyday.
They disappeared the day Handsome Sparkle was born, exactly 800 years ago.
So why don't we find out how they disappeared, shall we?
-- 800 Years Ago --
"So who exactly are you, cowboy?", said Applejack, who was locked in a cage by Chrysalis.
"I'm Twilight's alternate counterpart, right now she is about to turn into Handsome Sparkle!" said a pony who looked exactly like Twilight Sparkle, except she was wearing a lab coat and glasses.
"Who in the name of Celestia is Handsome Sparkle?!" asked Rainbow Dash, who also was locked in a cage.
"I'll explain later, we don't have much time!"
The Mane 5 needed a reason to escape, so they had no other choice but to follow the alternate Twilight.
"Here, I'll blast open the cages with my magic,", the alternate Twilight blasted the cages with her magic and released the Mane 5.
"Okay, so now what?" asked Applejack.
"I have a portable time machine right here, we are going 800 years into the future"
"A portable time machine? That's like, totally rad!" said an excited Rainbow Dash.
"Ok, stand back, I'm making a portal to the future," Sci-Twi pushes the red button on the black remote and the portal opens, all the Mane 5 are amazed.
"So, let's step in the portal shall we?", says Sci-Twi.
"Wait! We have to leave a note for other Twilight!" exclaims Pinkie.
"Um, Pinkie, if our Twilight is going to become this 'Handsome Twilight', mabye we shouldn't..." Applejack gets cut off by Pinkie Pie.
"And... Done!" Pinkie Pie leaves a note that said 800 years on the floor.
The rest of the Mane 5 had decided to step into the portal, and now... they were 800 years in the future.
"Woah, are we like... In the future now!" Rainbow Dash felt like she was in a movie.
"Okay, so, I didn't teleport you into the future for no reason, we are here to stop Handsome Sparkle from activating the Warrior," said Sci-Twi.
"The... W-W-Warrior?" Fluttershy whimpered at the fearsome name.
"Yes, the Warrior... Handsome Sparkle thinks that if she awakens it, it will work for her and give her unlimited power, but what she doesn't know, is that the Warrior will shatter and destroy all universes in existence, and she is about to try and activate it in 48 hours"
"Our Twilight has been known to have been crazy sometimes," says Pinkie Pie.
"Alright, so why did you bring us here in this whole Handsome Twilight shindig?" asked Applejack.
"I might be Twilight's counterpart, but I know nothing about her, you however, might know a lot of useful information"
"Okay, so what do we have here, time traveling counterparts, a monster who will destroy all universes as we know it, and our best friend is a mass-murdering psychopath who wants infinite power, I think I'm going to die from the awesomeness!" Rainbow Dash was stoked, except mabye for that last part.
"Wow, look at that view!" said Pinkie Pie.
Sci-Twi and the Mane 5 were talking on the edge of the cliff, and only Pinkie Pie had just noticed the beautiful view.
From the edge of the grassy cliff, you could see Equestria's tallest building, the Burj Sparkle, it was 800 meters tall, had the fastest elevators, and it glistened in the sunlight.
"Woah, Twilight's got one company all right!" Rainbow Dash was very impressed.
"Okay, so this is how Twilight will awaken the Warrior, she will first teleport to another universe where an orb that will awaken the Warrior is hidden, then she will go through one last universe, and she will eventually find the Warrior," explained Sci-Twi.
"So, how do we get to this universe where the orb is?" asked Applejack.
"We infiltrate the Burj Sparkle," Sci-Twi has planned this out for years.
"Um, are you sure we can do that, darling?" Rarity thought this sounded like a suicide mission.
"Trust me, this is going to work," assured Sci-Twi.
They all looked at the glistening building, the world was now counting on them.
Sci-Twi and the Mane 5 went down the grassy hill, and now they were on the streets of the most profilic city in Equestria, New Ponyville.
The streets were lined up with only the highest and most expensive cars, and the ponies on the pavement wore expensive leather jackets, and their wallets were covered in shiny and attention-grabbing silver.
They were now about to cross a roundabout, where cars drove around a statue of Chrysalis, with her hoof on the head of a pony.
Rainbow Dash went to look at what was inscribed on a stone in front of the statue.
"Here lies the most villainous and devious creature to have ever roamed the lands, Chrysalis,"
"She was the Queen of Changelings, and she created our ruler, Her Majesty, Handsome Sparkle," Rainbow Dash felt like she was dreaming as she read this. Her best friend, is now a powerful leader, who might end the Multiverse as they know it.
"Okay Rainbow Dash, you can stop reading that now," said Sci-Twi.
"Oh, right, sorry"
They walked for what felt like an eternity, but that didn't tire them out, it was just too much fun just to see New Ponyville.
"We made it, there is the Burj Sparkle!"
Right next to the Burj Sparkle, another historic achievement, The Ponyville Mall, the world's biggest shopping centre.
The Ponyville Mall sat right next to the Burj Sparkle, cars entered in and out of the building through the underground parking.
The entrance to the parking had fountains all around it where fillies played and splashed in them as their parents happily watched. These were normal days in New Ponyville.
"Alright, there is an entrance to the Burj Sparkle in The Ponyville Mall, we're going to go through a vent that leads to the Burj Sparkle," explained Sci-Twi.
"Why are we going into the Burj anyway, I thought you wanted to go through a portal to another universe?" questioned Applejack.
"My portable teleporter takes 3 days to charge, we have 2 left before Twilight reaches the Warrior, there is is a portal in the Burj Sparkle we can reach if we're sneaky enough"
"Then let's enter The Ponyville Mall, it sounds like time is running out," said Rainbow Dash.
They entered through the underground parking, it was hot and humid, and the pipes from the ceiling of the parking made a loud eerie noise.
They made it to the entrance of the mall in the parking, and when the doors opened, they were blasted with cold, refreshing air.
"Come on, let's take the elevator," Sci-Twi pushed the button and down came a elevator that would lead them to the 2nd floor of the mall.
They waited in the elevator while very calm music played.
"I really like this city," said Rainbow Dash
"If we survive this, I'll take you to a hotdog stand I know, they sell very tasty hotdogs," told Sci-Twi
"No thanks, 800 years ago all ponies were vegetarians," said Rainbow Dash
"Fine, your loss"
The elevator doors opened, they were now in the 2nd floor of the building.
The Ponyville Mall was a sight to behold inside, there were ponies from around the world coming here to enjoy the atmosphere and ambience alone, and the mall could hold up to a million ponies.
The lights from the high ceilings inside the mall shone a yellow, bright light that gave a pleasant color to the building, and the floors were covered in brown marble, very expensive quality marble.
"Okay, we have to go to the Vermont restaurant, it has a vent that connects to the Burj Sparkle," said Sci-Twi.
"If we are going into that restaurant though, you need to wear something flashy, come with me to the bathroom," Sci-Twi brought them to a bathroom that only contained 3 ponies.
"These are what you're gonna wear," Sci-Twi hands them all a folded pair of expensive suits covered in a plastic transparent bag, but there's a catch.
"They're for colts," said a disappointed Rainbow Dash
"I know, but the tie looks good on you," said Sci-Twi
Rainbow Dash puts on the black suit that had a vibrant, blue tie in the middle.
"Okay, mabye I take it back, it looks sweet!" Rainbow Dash's friends all stared at her in amazement, they all now wanted one.
Now all the Mane 5 and Sci-Twi were suited up and ready to go to the Vermont, the most profilic restaurant in The Ponyville Mall.
They walked on the 2nd floor for around 15 minutes until they reached the Vermont, which was on the other side of the mall.
As they walked, each member of the Mane 5 took something from a shop, Fluttershy took a preschool animal book, however, and the cashier gave her a very weird look.
"There it is, the Vermont," said Sci-Twi.
After one quick glance at the 24-karat gold sign that displayed the name of the restaurant, they squirmed at the thought of coming to the restaurant not wearing anything.
Chapter 2: A Handsome Introduction
They entered the Vermont, where a lady waited to find a seat for them.
"Yes, welcome to the Vermont, there is a seat available now, I will take you to it," the lady had a soft and soothing voice, and she took them to a seat where a table covered in white cloth and 4 wooden chairs awaited them.
"Wait, can we... stay here for a bit?" the atmosphere had already engulfed Rainbow Dash.
Everypony gave Rainbow Dash a confused look.
"You know what... I should probably...we should...nevermind," said an embarrassed Rainbow Dash, who was constantly stuttering.
They sat down on their wooden chairs, and Sci-Twi began to speak.
"Okay, the vent is in the kitchen of the restaurant, we can enter there, here..." Sci-Twi handed Rainbow Dash a tag to wear around her head, a tag that had the name of one of the chefs "... take this tag"
"Wait, how did you get this?"
"Um, I have...ways, anyway, go into the kitchen, you'll get weird looks because you're wearing a suit, but the tag should be enough to let you sneak by"
Rainbow Dash went into the kitchen, where the walls, lights, and the chefs, were all completely white.
Rainbow Dash made it to the vent leading into the Burj Sparkle, she got some weird looks from the chefs, but she eventually made it.
"Okay, let's open this thing"
Rainbow Dash pulled hard on the rusty, silver vent until it came clean off.
She crawls into the vent. It's dark, cold, and uncomfortable.
Rainbow Dash hears a buzzing sound coming from her ear.
"Hello Rainbow Dash, can you hear me?" says Sci-Twi
Rainbow Dash feels around her ear, there is a microphone attached to it.
"What did you put in my ear?"
"That's just standard issue Hyponion headsets, we need to communicate, remember?"
"Oh, right," Rainbow Dash had absolutely no idea what a 'headset' was.
After one painstaking hour of crawling, she sees a horizontal row of tiny lines of light illuminating the dark.
She's found Burj Sparkle.
Rainbow Dash crawls toward the light, she sees it getting closer.
"Okay, I've just gotta--" before Rainbow Dash can utter the word 'pull', she falls through a crack in the vent, where she lands into the middle of a table in a conference meeting.
Her headset is now broken.
"Rainbow Dash! Are you there Rainbow Dash!" Sci-Twi receives static.
"Okay, we've gotta see what's wrong, take these non-lethal weapons," Sci-Twi gives the Mane 5 non-lethal tranquilizer guns from a bag she was holding.
"Listen, darling, I may be able to use the weapons, considering I'm a unicorn, but what about my dear friends?" asked Rarity.
"The weapons come attached with syringes, you're supposed to implant them on the side of your body, where they get attached to your nervous system, allowing you to control it," explained Sci-Twi.
"Oh... I don't know if I want to--" before Fluttershy can finish her scentence, Sci-Twi has already implanted the weapon into her sides.
"Come on, we've gotta find Rainbow Dash," said Sci-Twi.
They bust open the doors to the kitchen, where all the chefs stop cooking and stare directly at the weapons.
"Hasta la Vista, baby," Sci-Twi got a frown from Fluttershy.
"Never say that again, ever"
"Right, sorry"
Sci-Twi and the rest of the Mane 5 unleashed a round of tranquilizers on the chefs, now the alarm has been triggered.
"We don't have much time, Handsome Sparkle's forces will be on our tail soon," said Sci-Twi.
They went through the same vent Rainbow Dash went through, and they were all crawling as fast as they could.
50 minutes into the crawl, they heard a voice from below.
"I want these vents all lined with poisonous gas, who knows who else she's working with"
"Yes, Handsome Sparkle, we will get right to it"
"Uh oh, what do we do!" asked Pinkie Pie.
"Break open the vents below you," said Sci-Twi.
"But what about--"
"I said, break open the fucking vents!" Sci-Twi said this in a loud and assertive voice.
The Mane 5 and Sci-Twi all collectively try and stomp their way out of the vent, but it's nearly impossible.
"Um, girls...what's that green stuff"
Pinkie Pie sees a heap of green fog coming at them.
"Stomp faster, it's the poison!" says Sci-Twi.
The vents won't budge.
"Come on!"
It's not working.
"Forget it, we'll die here"
"No...We...Won't!" Sci-Twi finally gets a vent open, but there's something wrong.
They're 30 meters above ground, the vent is currently on the outside of the mall.
"We're dead"
Sci-Twi hung from the vent, her friends were all holding her hoof when she did, so know they were all dangling dangerously 30 meters above ground, but at least they were safe from the poison.
"Now what do we do?" asked Pinkie Pie.
"I'm not sure, we just gotta---" before Sci-Twi can finish, she sees a green helicopter staring straight at them with blinding lights.
"Oh come on!"
The helicopter turns to its side, the passengers door opens, and the Mane 5 are terrified of who's there.
"Oh, looky who we have here! It's the 5 shitheads, oh and my alternate counterpart, guess infinite power dosen't fly with you, huh?" said Handsome Sparkle to the dangling Sci-Twi, who is struggling to hold on to her friends much longer.
"Listen, Handsome Sparkle, the creature you will awaken will destroy you and everything you've worked for!" said Sci-Twi.
"Yeah, yeah, mabye it might, but there's a shiny orb somewhere and, for some weird reason, I don't have it!" said an agitated Handsome Sparkle
"You will kill us all, for a shiny orb? What's wrong with you!" shot back Sci-Twi.
"What's wrong with me? I'm not sure, but we can answer that question at the torture table, oh and Fluttershy, bunny stew tastes great!" Fluttershy shed a visible tear.
Handsome Twilight had captured the Mane 5 and Sci-Twi, and were now heading for the torture room.
They walked with their hearts beating heavily, not knowing how bad their punishment is.
"So, how are you enjoying New Ponyville?" asked Handsome Sparkle.
Nopony gives a response.
"Well, fine then, I make the tallest building in Equestria and you don't even want to say good job? What kind of friends are you?"
Not a peep from the Mane 5 or Sci-Twi.
They walked through a very unpleasant looking room. The walls, floors, conveyer belts, and pretty much everything except the white lights were dark grey.
"So, uh, have I told you about the time I turned angel into stew? Oh, it's a great story, so what happened was I put angel in blender, then he got out and bit my friend's nutsack, so I killed my friend because he was a pussy, then my other friend called me a monster, so then I killed him too, and then..." Handsome Sparkle went on for about 30 painful minutes.
When the Mane 5 reached the torture room, you could easily tell this was Handsome Sparkle's favorite place.
"Okay, here we have 8 different torture rooms, number 1 is the least painful, 8 is the most. Oh look, there's my best friend Steve in the knife chair, say hi Steve!"
"OH! OH GOD WHY!" said Steve as the blades cut through his face.
"Yeah, he beat me in chess, he deserves it"
The amount of horror generated from the knife chair made Handsome Sparkle smile and clap in excitement.
"Oh, isn't this fun guys, my old friends coming to stop me from getting power, how adorable. I'm actually... I'm actually crying, this is beautiful"
One singular tear drop came from Handsome Sparkle's eye.
"Ah, crying feels good... Anyway, if beating me in a game of chess gets you in the knife chair, what does committing a terrorist act get you... Give me a sec, guys, this is some important shit I'm thinking about"
Eventually, Handsome Sparkle's eyes went wide and she let out a excited gasp.
"Oh, I know! Wait... no I don't, that's not bad enough"
She kept thinking and answering as if she had figured out what punishment they deserved, but consistently went back to ponder again.
Sci-Twi and the Mane 5 wondered if this was the punishment.
"You know what... Just go into the fucking knife chair when Steve's done, I'm too old for this shit"
Handsome Sparkle turned around to leave before she saw a rainbow colored light fly past her.
"So, Twilight, this is what you've become?" asked Rainbow Dash, who stopped Handsome Sparkle before she was going to leave.
"Who the flying fuck is Twilight, I only know Handsome Sparkle, is 'Twilight' another one of your friends!"
"I know you're somewhere in there Twilight"
"You wanna keep fucking calling me that kiddo, that's fine, but I really have no fucking clue who you're talking about"
"Listen, Twilight..."
"OKAY, NOW I'M GETTING MAD! WHO! IS! TWILIGHT!"
"You're Twilight"
That ticked off Handsome Sparkle, now she had her horn ready to fire.
"Say my name, and you better fucking say it correctly"
"Twilight. Sparkle"
Handsome Sparkle fired her horn at Rainbow Dash, but something was amiss.
"What the... DID THEY JUST PUT A FUCKING HOLOGRAM!"
The beam went through the hologram, and it turned it off, sucking itself back in to a tiny circle where the hologram was projected through a hole in the middle.
Handsome Sparkle took the hologram projector and rapidly smashed it into her head ten times, creating a visible bruise.
"I swear to fucking god these ponies make me want to gouge my eyes out"
Handsome Sparkle signaled to her security guard, Robert.
"Robert, get me a spoon"
"Handsome Sparkle, please don't do this to me," begged Robert.
"I THINK YOUR EARS ARE PLUGGED ROBERT, GET ME A SPOON SO I CAN GOUGE YOUR FUCKING EYES OUT!"
Meanwhile, Rainbow Dash had taken the Mane 5 and Sci-Twi away from Handsome Sparkle while she was talking to the hologram.
"So, um, I'm guessing Handsome Sparkle is not very happy right now," said Rainbow Dash.
"I can 100% guarantee you she is gouging somepony's eyes out," said Sci-Twi, who knew what an angry Handsome Sparkle looked like.
They reached the conference room, where Rainbow Dash fell from the vent.
"So, you took everypony in the meeting out?" asked Sci-Twi to Rainbow Dash.
"These guns have automated targeting systems, wasn't hard"
"Well, they took ours when we were captured, so you lead the way Rainbow Dash," said Sci-Twi.
Rainbow Dash boosted everypony up to the vent until she went up herself.
The vents were clearly damaged as seen before, but now... there is no ground below them.
"Okay, only 5 minutes, then we will be in the Burj Sparkle," assured Sci-Twi.
They crawled for 3 minutes until a sound was heard.
"What was that?"
"The vents are close to breaking, move slower," said Sci-Twi.
A minute passed, where sounds kept indicating that a break might occur
30 seconds left now before they reach the Burj Sparkle.
Now they need 5 seconds.
One last booming sound occurs.
However, they make it to the Burj Sparkle.
"Phew, thank Celestia that's over," said Pinkie Pie.
Sci-Twi may have escaped the vent, but there's something else she didn't mention.
Sci-Twi sees the vent they just crawled out of collapse, detaching the Burj Sparkle from The Ponyville Mall.
Sci-Twi's purple ears fold behind her head, and her pupils shrink, everypony looks at her with a confused impression.
"What's wrong, yeah the vent collapsed, but we made it out!" assured Rainbow Dash.
Sci-Twi begins to slowly speak in a faint, high-pitched voice.
"So, um, I may have... forgot to mention a tiny detail, hehe," said a nervous sounding Sci-Twi.
"What exactly would be this 'tiny detail'?" asked Applejack.
"Well, architecture 800 years from your time is a little... different"
"What do you mean?" Rainbow Dash was getting nervous.
"We're kind of... hmm, what's the word... oh right, we're fucked"
"The architecture of the Burj is is a bit, strange," said Sci-Twi
"Okay, how exactly is it strange?" asked Applejack.
"Well, um, the building is detached from The Ponyville Mall, and it kind of keeps it together, so, um... the Burj Sparkle is going to collapse," said a nervous Sci-Twi.
"Well, what the fuck are you waiting for! Get to the fucking shitty dumbass portal you dragged me here to find!" said Fluttershy, who had had enough.
Everypony looked at Fluttershy with a shocked and disturbed look.
"Oh... Um... I didn't mean to, I'm sorry for shouting,"
"Well, you weren't wrong Fluttershy, we've got to get to the portal right now!" said Sci-Twi.
Meanwhile, Handsome Sparkle has removed the eyes of every security guard who hasn't found them yet.
"This is fucking useless, I mean, it's fun to remove eyes with spoons, but those fuckers are wasting my time, I've just gotta get the Warrior and then I can finally relax," Handsome Sparkle was in The Ponyville Mall, looking at the Burj Sparkle, thinking about the power she might aquire.
Then she saw nothing was connecting it to The Ponyville Mall.
Handsome Sparkle blinked rapidly because she thought she was seeing things, but she couldn't find any vents connecting The Ponyville Mall to the Burj Sparkle.
She went directly to the colt who designed the building.
The colt was chatting to his friend while eating lunch, when Handsome Sparkle bust in the room.
"Which... one of you fucks... designed the building"
One of the colts raised his hoof nervously.
"Oh, you did, ok," Handsome rapidly walked towards him.
"Um, Handsome, what seems to be the---" Before the colt finishes talking, he feels a pull on his cheek.
"You listen very closely... okay sugartits? I'm going to do something very unpleasant to you right now, I'm just gonna pull both sides of your cheek until your face rips open, it's going to be fast... painful... and then I'm gonna find your 6-year old son, I'm gonna put him in my knife chair, and I'm going to then kill your wife, your cousins, AND THEN I'M GOING TO CUT YOUR DICK OFF, AND MAKE SURE EVERYPONY IN THIS ROOM GETS STRANGELD WITH IT!"
When Handsome finished the scentence, she pulled on both sides of his face until his skin was ripped off.
"Now, somepony is going to take me to the Burj Sparkle, right now before it collapses... DO I MAKE MYSELF EXTRA FUCKING CRYSTAL CLEAR!"
"Y-Y-Yes Miss Sparkle"
Rainbow Dash and the rest were close to the portal, but the building is having trouble without the help of The Ponyville Mall.
"So where is this portal?" asked Applejack
"It's on the 49th floor of the building, but we can't take the elevator," said Sci-Twi.
They're currently on the 4th floor, it's going to be a race against time and Handsome Sparkle, especially on stairs.
They looked around for a fire exit until they saw a green sign with a white pony entering a open door, that was the staircase.
"Okay, let's go!" exclaimed Rainbow Dash.
The staircase had glass covering the walls, so anypony could see how high they were going.
Then a green helicopter shot up past them, which they all immediately noticed.
"They're going to make it to the portal, we can't let them get a head start on us in the next universe!" said Rainbow Dash.
"That's if we make it to the next universe!" shot back Sci-Twi.
They only needed to go up 3 more floors, but the building is having serious trouble.
"Okay, there's the door to the 49th floor, I'll open it for---" Rainbow Dash was about to open the door when a chunk of the staircase she was standing on fell.
Rainbow Dash was safe, but now the problem is that most of the others couldn't reach the door.
"What do we do!" asked Pinkie Pie.
They heard a rumble before them, the whole staircase was about to fall.
"Jump, Pinkie!" said Rainbow Dash, who held out her hoof.
Pinkie jumped, and she made it to the door.
"Okay, now the rest of you, jump as well!"
Rainbow Dash caught everypony else by the hoof, now all Fluttershy needed to do was fly to the door.
"See! It all worked out perfectly---" before Fluttershy could finish, a part of the staircase from above landed on her leg.
"FLUTTERSHY!" screamed Rainbow Dash
Fluttershy was still on the stairs when the piece hit, now she's stuck on the staircase, and the debris from is about to get worse.
Rainbow Dash went to get the debris out of Fluttershy's leg, and she needed to do it fast.
She successfully got it out, but the sight of her leg wasn't pretty.
Rainbow Dash held Fluttershy and flew out of the staircase and went through the door, where the entire staircase had just collapsed, there was no going back.
"That, was too close," said Rainbow Dash, still holding Fluttershy.
They made it to the 49th floor, where the window was shattered, and a green helicopter with a dead pilot lay in the wreckage.
"Handsome Sparkle went through the portal," said Sci-Twi, who saw a nearly shattered portal lie on the floor.
"So, shall we enter the portal?" asked Sci-Twi.
"Yeah, we should probably get out of here," said Applejack.
They all entered the portal, except for Rainbow Dash, who was still holding Fluttershy.
She set her down on the floor and began to speak.
"Hey, don't worry, we'll find somepony to fix your leg"
"But who?"
"I don't know for sure, but we'll find a way, we always do"
Chapter 4: A Theif's Surprise
Rainbow Dash held Fluttershy and gave her a smile with a blush, where Fluttershy smiled back.
"I'm so gonna race you when we get back home!" playfully said Rainbow Dash.
"I might beat you this time, Rainbow!"
"Yeah, you wish!" laughed Rainbow Dash, the atmosphere felt light, even with a dead pilot and broken glass surrounding them.
Before they left, they stared at the open window, where the sky turned golden, and it's rays bounced beautifully on the almost collapsing Burj Sparkle.
"Goodbye, New Ponyville," said Rainbow Dash to the golden sky.
They entered through the portal, and now they were in a random location in the new universe.
Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy were in a basement, where the rest of her friends were also, they were all examining the items they saw around them.
The small basement clearly belonged to a pretty rich man. The walls, ceiling, and floors were covered in wood, yellow lights illuminated the room.
"Wow, look at this," Rainbow Dash held a PlayStation 1 copy of Crash Bandicoot .
Eventually, someone was coming into the basement.
He walked down the stairs and looked up to see the Mane 5 and Sci-Twi.
"What the hell..." said the adventurous, Nathan Drake.
Nathan Drake and the Mane 5 stared at each other for a while, not knowing what to think, whether to be excited, scared, or both.
"So, um... hi?" Nathan did an awkward wave.
"Hey... who are you?" asked Sci-Twi.
"Oh my god it can talk... Honey! Honey! There's something you need to see!"
Nathan's wife, Elena, came to the basement, she also stared for a long time.
"Can you give us a second..." said Elena to the technicolored cartoon ponies in their basement.
Elena brought Nathan out of the basement.
"Why are there ponies in the basement, and why are they cute, and able to talk!?"
"I swear, this time, it wasn't my fault, ask Sam!"
Sam was Nathan Drake's brother, who was currently sitting on the couch watching TV.
"Hey... Sam" said Nathan to Sam while putting his hand behind his head.
"Hey Nate, what's up?"
"Can we... talk about the cartoon horses in our basement?"
Nathan explained the situation to Sam.
"Ah, I know what to do, Nate"
"Great, tell me!"
"We kill them and eat them," said Sam.
"What? No?! Seriously!"
"Look Nate, you're my brother, I love you, but do you expect me to believe---" Sam was cut off by the sight of Elena and Rarity having a discussion.
Sam paused, then whispered to Nathan, "Why does the white one look hot?"
"What's wrong with you Sam?
"A lot of things"
"Ok, so, the white pony named Rarity explained everything we need to know," said Elena.
Elena explained everything to both Sam and Nathan.
"Okay, so, lemme get this straight. The world's gonna end in 2 days?" said Sam.
"Yes, darling!"
Rarity's accent may have been giving Sam an even bigger boner.
"Okay, so, the million dollar question is... how do we get this orb?" said Nathan.
"Well, my dear, Sci-Twi has said that she can track the location of the orb! We have to find it before Handsome Sparkle!"
"Um, guys, the orb is moving" said Sci-Twi, who looked on her tracking signal of the orb to find its being transported.
"Then let's get after it, I'm stoked!" said Rainbow Dash
"Hey Sam, i like the rainbow one"
"Pft, the white one is cuter!"
"Sam, I didn't even mention that"
Before they left to get their vehicles to chase down the orb, Sam noticed rarity walking out the door.
"So, um, what's your number?"
"What do you mean, darling?"
"I... Um... Nevermind"
Sci-Twi got on a motorcycle, Rarity and Sam on a convertible, and the rest were in a yellow Hummer.
"Let's save the Multiverse" said Nathan enthusiastically
They all revved their engines and followed Sci-Twi while she looked for the moving orb.
They were getting closer to the orb, it was moving across a highway, and they were almost there.
"There! That giant truck!"
Sci-Twi spotted the truck containing the orb, the truck had a gigantic hook at the end of it, and it had the name 'Sparkle' on both its sides.
They were currently moving across a busy highway on a sunny Sunday morning.
Sci-Twi sped up to approach the truck, it's giant hook was dangling dangerously close.
Then she noticed another motorcycle was behind her, with somepony she didn't want to see.
"Holy shit, why the fuck can you not stay fucking dead for 3 minutes, you lunatics!" said Handsome Sparkle, on a black motorcycle.
"So, is that Handsome Sparkle?" asked Nathan Drake.
Sci-Twi let out a tired sigh, "Yep"
Handsome Sparkle was speeding up towards Sci-Twi, and now the police were getting reports of ponies on motorcycles.
Handsome Sparkle put her hoof on her ear, she was clearly talking to somepony.
Sci-Twi heard loud music suddenly come from the truck, it was the Mission Impossible theme.
"What, if I'm gonna kill you, might as well put some good fucking music, oh and I also asked him to control the hook, so good luck with that"
Sci-Twi saw the hook move to the right, ready to come at full force to the left.
It swung fast, but Sci-Twi moved towards the hook, and moved her motorcycle under it's swooping path.
In the red convertible, Sam and Rarity were trying to reach the passengers side of the truck.
"Sam, darling, I need you to open the passengers door!"
"Ok, I'm almost there," said Sam, as he tried to open the door while rarity kept the car steady.
Meanwhile, the yellow Hummer contained Nathan Drake, who was driving, and the rest of the Mane 5.
"So, everything in existence might end and we're the only ones who know about it?" said Nathan Drake.
"Well, we are pretty special," said Rainbow Dash, who currently had an ego the size of Handsome Sparkle's swear box.
Now every vehicle was close to the truck, and Handsome Sparkle was having trouble with catching up to Sci-Twi.
Eventually, Sci-Twi saw a helicopter following them.
"It's the police!" exclaimed Sam.
"Stop your vehicles and pull over immediately!" said a voice from the helicopter.
Handsome Sparkle noticed a police car chasing them.
"Why don't you just suck your dad off, fuckface" said Handsome Sparkle, who charged up her horn and shot at the police car, sending it flipping in the air and landing on other cars.
Now people were looking at the footage captured from the helicopter, no-one could believe what was happening.
"Breaking News: Police are chasing down unknown beings on Roosevelt street, and we've just gotten reports that they are hostile, stay in your homes"
Handsome Sparkle looked at the helicopter and stuck her tongue out, then proceeded to try and catch Sci-Twi.
"Ok, I have an idea, but I hope I don't go to hell for this," said Nathan Drake
"What are you doing?" asked Rainbow Dash in the yellow seats of the Hummer.
"I have a rope that can attach to things easily, and considering that the helicopter is low enough, I can attach it to the truck"
"So it's going to crash into the truck?"
"Precisely"
The helicopter is getting close enough to throw a rope on.
"Okay, here goes nothing!" Nathan gets the rope on the helicopter, and attaches the other end to the back of the truck.
The helicopter seemed fine at first, but when it tried to ascend, it lost control and it's blades went into the passenger side of the truck, where Sam was trying to open the passengers door.
"Sam! Look out!" screamed Rarity
Sam ducked and the blades of the helicopter went into the passengers face, blood spurting on Sam.
"This is not how I wanted to look on my first date!" said Sam
"What darling?"
"Nothing! Nothing... I said date as in... the fruit! Yeah! the fruit..."
Rarity gave Sam a confused look.
Handsome Sparkle communicated to her driver on her headpiece
"Listen to me you spoiled little shit, I don't give two flying monkey fucks that your best friend's intestines and brain matter are on you, lose the dipshits who are trying to hijack us... BEFORE I HAVE YOUR DICK SURGICALLY IMPLANTED AS YOUR HORN!"
They were now reaching a bridge that was above water, and the highway greatly narrowed.
"Okay, now it's time to complicate things," said Handsome Sparkle
She communicated to the driver of the truck, and it stopped immediately, causing it to turn sideways, blocking the narrow bridge completely.
They were now in the middle of the bridge, and other cars stopped behind the truck that blocked the way.
People now had a clear view of Handsome Sparkle, who got out of her vehicle, and slowly walked to the Mane 5, Sci-Twi, Sam, and Rarity.
They all noticed her walking towards them, she then stopped walking, put her hoof on her ear, and spoke very loudly.
"Blow the bridge," said Handsome Sparkle with a grin.
They were all on the left side of the bridge, but the right side was demolished and fell to the ocean floor.
"Ok, now... the next part of the plan," said Handsome Sparkle.
They all looked to the side of the bridge, where Sonata, Agadio, and Aria Blaze all emerged from the water.
A maniacal laugh came from Handsome Twilight
"Oh my god, this is fucking beautiful, I was even gonna have a giant light in the sky saying 'you're fucked', but I saved it for something else..." Handsome Sparkle's smile reached the end of her cheeks.
From behind her, a giant purple oval in the sky, where yellow ships came out, and landed on the bridge.
One of them landed behind Handsome Sparkle, it's doors opened, and came out the only person who Handsome Sparkle ever loved.
Handsome Jack.
"Holy shitballs honey, we actually may have caught the bad guys for once!" said Handsome Jack.
Handsome Sparkle skipped up and down in excitement to Handsome Jack, she turned around to face the grossed out Mane 5.
"Did you actually think there would be an all infinite power orb and I would be the only one who knew about it?"
When Handsome Sparkle said this, a flurry of purple oval shaped portals came, and so did more... and more... and more...
Chapter 5: What Did you Put In My Drink?
The portals never seemed to stop, villains upon villains kept coming, and Handsome Sparkle smiled more each time a portal opened.
From above, another good friend of Handsome Sparkle descended from one of Handsome Jack's ships.
"Ah, looky who we have here, it's such an honor to meet you," said the Joker, as he descended from the ship.
He went up to Pinkie Pie and held her hoof, then kissed it gentlemanly.
"You've always been my favorite, if only you were a little more mad," laughed Joker hysterically.
"Ok, so, what to do with the ponies who destroyed my Burj Sparkle? I'm sure I can find somepony who knows how to bring you to life so I can put you in every single one of my torture rooms, over... and over... and over again," said Handsome Sparkle.
"Oh, no, you got us! We surrender!" sarcastically said Sci-Twi.
"Well, well, you think you're funny, huh? Just wait till I..." Handsome Sparkle was cut off by the sight of blue portals emerging behind Sci-Twi, who also smiled more everytime a new one came.
Behind Sci-Twi, a small black ship came through, and landed behind her.
"That's enough Joker, stop harassing the mare," said The Dark Knight himself, Batman.
"What the... you have a nemesis with a fetish for bats?!" screamed Handsome Sparkle to Joker.
"Yeah, isn't it great! He keeps me busy everyday!" said Joker.
From behind Sci-Twi, more and more portals opened up. Every villain Handsome Sparkle had brought, Sci-Twi brought their counterpart.
"Why the fuck does life have to be so hard for good guys like us!" exclaimed Handsome Jack, who always thought he was the hero.
Handsome Sparkle was going to fire her horn, when she felt webbing stop her from doing so.
"Hey, knock it off," said Spider-Man, Peter Parker joined Sci-Twi the moment she mentioned saving the Multiverse.
"Okay, motherfuckers, I'm in the mood to dance with the universe," said Handsome Sparkle.
"Hey Handsome Sparkle!" shouted Sci-Twi.
"What? What the fuck do you want?"
"Just wanted to let you know, don't leave portable teleporters lying around," said Sci-Twi, who held a portable teleporter that she stole.
"What the... Get the fuck back here!" Handsome Sparkle started to run towards her.
"Quick! Get in!" she set the amount of ponies the portal can hold to 6.
They all jumped in, the portal closed, and most of the Multiverse continued fighting against each other.
Sci-Twi closed her eyes when she went in, as you must do when entering portals as so not to see in between universes, and opened them to find she was on a brown couch, and the rest of her friends were on the floor.
"Ugh, where are we?" asked Rainbow Dash on a dirty floor. In fact, the whole room was a mess, like a madman lived in it.
Then someone came through the door.
"I'm telling you Mikey, you gotta dump that whore, Amanda. She's just not..." Trevor Philips was talking to Micheal De Santa when he spotted the Mane 5 and Sci-Twi on their couch.
"Hey Trevor, you've done some weird things, really... weird things, but even I can't fucking understand what the hell is this," said Micheal De Santa.
"Hey Mikey! I didn't do this! Mabye it was Lester!" said Trevor.
"Oh, right, mabye I should call him and tell him THAT THERE ARE 6 FUCKING COLORFUL PONIES IN THE MIDDLE OF SANDY FUCKING SHORES!" Sandy Shores was the place Micheal and Trevor were living in. Normally, Micheal lived in his mansion with his wife, but she temporarily left him for attacking her yoga teacher.
Sandy Shores was the opposite of where Micheal used to live, there were no skyscrapers, and it was a very quiet and atmospheric area.
Lester was their friend, who helped them perform heists. He was smart, balding, wore glasses, and always wore the same green shirt.
"Ok, let's... try to communicate with them" said Micheal.
"I don't know what fucking language they speak!"
"We speak English, don't worry" said Sci-Twi.
"No! I'm done! What the fuck did you put in my drink Trevor! What did you put in my drink!"
"Ok, so you're seeing what I'm seeing?" asked Trevor.
"There's a white one, a pink one, a purple one, a blue one, a yellow one, and an orange one," said Micheal.
"Does the orange one have a hat?" questioned Trevor.
"No way! What! What's going on! I've pinched myself at least 8 times, I'm not waking up!"
"Hey! Mikey! This might be a chance to leave this shitty planet! Mabye I won't have to fondle you for what happened in North Yankton," Micheal and Trevor had an incident 10 years ago, and Trevor has been torturing Micheal psychologically ever since.
"Ok, I need to call the FIB about this, they might know what to do," said Micheal.
"What's the FIB?" asked Pinkie Pie.
"Federal Investigations Beaurau, and we're not going to contact them!" Trevor took Micheal's phone and smashed it on the floor.
"WHAT THE FUCK TREVOR!" screamed Micheal.
"We... are calling Lester... and we're going to spice up your life, Mikey!"
"Yeah, because robbing the Union Depository, the world's biggest bank, was just so fucking mundane"
"Okay, I get you're confused, let me explain everything to you," said Sci-Twi.
"Yeah, I think an explanation is what I need right now," said Micheal.
After a couple of minutes of explaining, Trevor asked a question.
"So, you're telling me, that pretty much every villain and hero are battling in a single universe right now, and I'm here on this shitty planet?"
"Yes," said Sci-Twi.
"Ok, so I guess there's no point in robbing the Union Depository then," said Micheal.
"If we stop this 'Handsome Sparkle', there'll still be a point," said Trevor.
"Well, I have no idea what to do, portable teleporters take 3 days to charge, and I estimate she might awaken the Warrior in 2," said Sci-Twi.
She took a look around the portable teleporter, until she found something.
"Oh, it's an upgraded version, looks like it takes a day to charge," Sci-Twi may have been relieved that they still had a chance, but she would have preferred to have been to the Warrior earlier.
"So, we have a day here, can we crash at your place, partner?" asked Applejack.
"OH, THANK GOD IN HEAVEN, THEY JUST SENT ME MY REDNECK WIFE BUT AS A PONY!" said Trevor
Applejack gave Trevor a wink and a smile.
"Lester sent me a message saying that the heist is ready, we're going to rob the bank, you coming?"
"Woah, we're like, good guys and stuff," said Rainbow Dash.
"News flash, in our world, everyone's a dick, and we rob because we're fucking bored and Micheal still owes me for Brad," Brad was a casualty in the North Yankton incident.
"Don't worry, you're part of the Entertainment Universe, if the main protagonist dies before he's supposed to, the universe ends, so we can't interfere with you," said Sci-Twi.
Micheal gave Sci-Twi a weird look.
"Protagonist? Entertainment Universe? The fuck are you talking about?" asked Micheal
"It's... complicated... I don't want you to think too much, it might rip a hole in space and time."
"Anyway, we have an entire day, if you're going to rob the world's biggest bank, I guess I'll come help," said Sci-Twi.
"Then let's go to Lester! I need to impress my lady friend!" said Trevor, looking at Applejack.
"The fuck is wrong with you Trevor?" said Micheal.
"What's wrong with me? Says the guy who faked his own death, married a whore, and has two spoiled shits for 'kids',"
The Mane 5 and Sci-Twi all went outside to the sunny morning skies of Sandy Shores, where sand covered the side of the streets, and Mt. Chiliad was visible from all parts of Sandy Shores.
"Ah, what a fucking day it's going to be," said Trevor.
The Mane 5 looked at the house they were just in, but it was actually not a house, it was a red trailer, and one of Trevor's friends, Ron, came to ask him about the rival biker gangs coming to kill him.
"Trevor! They're back! They're going to---" Ron was cut off by the sight of cartoon ponies.
"I know what they're going to do Ron! Now come here so I can stick my dick in your eye for asking such a dumb question!"
"What the fuck is going on Trevor!" asked Micheal.
"What! So I pissed off some redneck bikers and they're coming to kill us, just get the guns from the trailer!" said Trevor.
"Why the fuck do you have to be such a fucking idiot!"
"I don't know! Why did you fake your death and marry a whore, we all have our mysteries!"
"You guys don't really sound like friends," said Rainbow Dash
Loud rock music could be faintly heard from the distance, Micheal had brought the guns, and Rarity and Sci-Twi had both taken a gun.
"Ok, motherfuckers! I'm looking for decoration for the outside of my trailer! Today's theme is biker corpses!"
"Let's do this," said Sci-Twi.
Bikers in black leather jackets could be seen on the horizon.
"Trevor! If you think you can fuck our boss's wife, kill him, and get away with it, you've got another thing coming!"
"Hey! She wanted to be on the end of my big stick, that's her fault!"
"Wow, he's honest, I like him," said Applejack.
They were all on a different position to attack the bikers, Micheal and Rarity were behind the trailer.
"So, are you saying I might be able to redeem myself if we can stop Handsome Sparkle?" asked Micheal.
"Of course, darling! Might I say you look rather dashing in a suit," said a flirtatious Rarity.
"Wow, thanks," Micheal appreciated the compliment.
A motorcycle was seen coming from behind Pinkie Pie, it was a man with a particular taste for the hood, Franklin.
"Yo wassup homie, it's the party animal herself, Pinkie motha fuckin Pie," said Franklin as he did a fist bump with Pinkie Pie.
"Franklin? You know her?" asked Micheal.
"Yes, when you have the power to break through the 4th wall like it's plastic, you meet some interesting people," said Pinkie Pie.
"Alright homie, I gotchu, we got some biker gangs coming up or something?" asked Franklin to Micheal.
"Yeah, here's a gun, find cover," said Micheal as he handed Franklin a assault rifle.
"Ok, so, Franklin, any more unexpected friendships?" asked Trevor.
"Nah homie, just this beast right here," said Franklin as he fist bumped Pinkie Pie again.
The bikers left their motorcycles and hesitated for a bit at the sight of the Mane 5.
"Oh yeah! forgot to mention the cartoon horses with guns about to annihilate you, have a nice day motherfuckers!" Trevor unleashed a wave of bullets upon the bikers.
