Chapters What do you mean, "friend?"
Chapter 1) I'm alone, but that's okay.
Chapter 1) I'm alone, but that's okay.
I hit the ground hard, rolled for a few feet, and then eventually slid to stop.
After the impact, I picked myself off the ground. Looking around, I was amazed by what I saw. I was in a large forest with beautiful grass carpeting the ground. This isn’t what amazed me, though. The colors, the textures, everything seemed brighter than anything I’d seen in my world. And then I knew this wasn’t my world. Whatever I had stepped through had deposited me somewhere Else. Not light-years away, but something entirely Outside my universe. It had to be. I wondered to myself why I was so surprised, after all I knew what was likely to happen when I jumped in like the fool that I was.
Not even a half hour ago, perhaps, I was walking the streets of New York, coming back from a concert and trying to make my way to Penn Station. I preferred walking to being in the tight subway, and an hour walk was nothing to me. Thinking myself alone I was singing a song under my breath from the concert: “I’m battle dancing unicorns, with glitter.” Smiling and in a good mood, I was caught off guard when someone bumped my left shoulder hard from behind. I started and saw a hooded figure in purple running past me and turn suddenly down an alley to my right. A girl, I thought, glancing at her figure and the practically sparkling purple and black she was wearing. Something about her run seemed off, but as I saw her for only a few seconds I couldn’t figure out what it was. I looked behind, thinking she was running away from something, but there was no one there. I wondered if she needed help, so I ran after her but after a few yards of running I stopped in shock.
There was a glow coming from down the alley and then a bright flash, and a circle of glowing light appeared on one of the walls. I wasn’t sure where the flash came from, it might have come from the girl. I saw her run inside, her hood flying off and I glimpsed for an instant that she had purple skin – at least I thought it was skin – and then she was gone.
In the span of milliseconds, I had a choice to make. No time to sit and contemplate the maybes. This was clearly a door to someplace else. Maybe somewhere on earth, maybe far away. Another planet? Was there a way to get back? Did I have something I cared too much to leave? Not really, I guess. Best not to think about it. This was some vast adventure yawning open before me. Screw the maybes, the unknown and the new were a definite. I didn’t really fear dying, and what a way to go if I did die! I ran to the glowing light and jumped inside.
I don’t know what I expected but suddenly finding myself going from sideways to straight down was not it. I tumbled in what might have been air, swirling patterns of insanity spinning past me. After righting myself, maybe, and facing what I think was straight down, I saw the girl falling far, far below me and slightly to my left. I began to see a constant in the madness beneath me and saw a glowing circle opening up beneath the girl. Just before she disappeared through I thought, those are some odd shoes , but she was gone before I could see anything definite. I tried to stupidly “swim” towards her portal but there was no way I was reaching it.
As I fell past it, tumbling end over end, i saw my cell phone floating past my face. Panicking, I swung my arm at it, but it swept past my fingers and went "above" my head. I was dumbly looking back “up” at it when I was blinded by a light coming from the corner of my eye. I turned back round to see a portal right in my face, and I fell through it.
Well, fell is not the right word. After falling, I suddenly found myself horizontal again. So I “fell” sideways out of it and then immediately smashed downward at an angle. Oh God! All the wind was knocked out of me and I took a few minutes to get my breath back, as well as check that nothing was broken.
Nope all good, except that whole “Where the crap am I?” problem.
And so here I was. Another world. In a forest. No other person around. No idea where to go. No food on me. Alone.
Great, way to go, Brendon. Wonderful new adventure and you might die before meeting anyone. Genius.
Well, the sun looked like it was setting right in front of me, so that must be west. “Only if the points on a compass are the same here as anywhere else,” I said to myself. “Ohhhhhh boy, don’t think too much about it. So…let’s head north.” I turned and pointed with both hands. “That way.”
As I walked I took in a deep breath and noticed how fresh the air was here. It filled me up in a way I hadn’t felt before. I felt the urge to walk faster, take longer strides, take things head on. I looked at distant mountains and thought how fun it would be to climb them. I saw glimpses of open grass and thought of tearing across it, laughing like a child. It was odd. I even felt some kind of tingling in the back of my brain, like when I’ve had a moment of great realization come upon me, but I thought nothing except how beautiful an evening it was and the wonder of the forest I walked through. The flowers, the leaves, the mushrooms, the rocks: they all stood out and nearly dazzled me with their, I don’t know, how alive everything was. I saw squirrels and rabbits scampering between tree trunks and birds fluttering low around the trees and bushes. I never remember hearing so much chattering, singing, or see animals ever get so close to a human before. And from the way they looked at me, I could swear there was some greater understanding in their faces. Like they even had expressions as they looked at me and even might have thoughts about me. “I wonder if you can speak, little ones?” I said. But I kept on going.
The logical part of my brain began to remind me that since these were familiar animals, there might be bears around, or other dangerous inhabitants, and that I shouldn’t surprise them. Let them know someone is coming by making noise, right? Isn’t that what you do? So I kept on talking to myself. “Well, you’ve gotten yourself in worse places than this, haven’t you? I mean, there’s got to be a way to get back, and in the meantime you’ve got a beautiful place to explore! It’s like some kind of gift! Right? Yeah. Sure. You’ll be alright.”
I tried to make small talk to myself, keep me off the thought of being completely alone. I talked about the weather, what kinds of trees these might be, how many animals I saw, whether or not there might be humans here, where I was going to sleep, how beautiful the colors of the sunset were – “Shenanigans! That’s not sunset, that’s sundown!” I then cupped my hands around my mouth and made a fake radio voice. “Sun down! Sun down! Repeat, we have a sun down over here!” Officer down! Officer down! Then I laughed hard at my stupid joke, and then giggled at how stupid I was for laughing at it. I paused at this. “Great, that tells me how scared I am that I’m laughing at something this dumb. Heh, sun down – no! Shut up! This is serious.
“Okay! No need to panic! Just because the night’s about to hit doesn’t mean all the wild crazy animals are going to come out and kill me and eat me. Or eat me then kill me. Oh poop. Heh, yeah, poop me out. God, I just laughed at being digested. Shut up! Need to find some kind of shelter or at least a place to lie down that’s not way out in the open.”
I glanced around quickly before the light faded away. I saw a glint of something to my right, about maybe fifty yards behind some trees. I ran over, not even noticing that I was running full tilt. After dodging trees, I found it was a small pond. Maybe ten yards across, though I'm a terrible judge of measured distance.
No real shelter nearby. No cave or hole or candy cottage with a witch inside, ready to wat me piece by piece.
“I’m telling you, imagination, just shut up! I gotta think !”
I shut my eyes, straightened up, and took a deep breath in, held it, and let it out slowly. Then I did it again. Slowly I opened my eyes.
“Okay. Cool as a cucumber. Two choices: keep looking for shelter or work with what we’ve got. What have we got? A source of water and I ate a big dinner, so we just need a place to sleep. What’s around the pond? Trees. Great. Oh joy.”
But then I noticed that three trees on one side grew so close together that the formed an almost crescent moon shape. In between looked like moss, so I went over and tried it. Cramped but soft. I could curl up with my knees to me chest and probably sleep okay. The leaves were so dense above me that it should keep off any rain. It was just then that the sun finished setting and almost all the light was gone. Nothing remained but sporadic spots of moonlight and starlight filtering down where the leaves didn’t blot out the sky.
It was probably my rising anxiety, but I felt like the silence suddenly got real loud. Only my breathing and the beating of my heart seemed to make noise. A little wind in the leaves. The sounds of what I guess were crickets or some night insects.
Given the way these animals seem to look, it’s probably playing a violin to make the noise, rather than rubbing its legs.
My eyes scanned the night, looking and fearing that eyes would look back at me. And the realization came back upon me just how alone I was.
“Alone. Just you and me, Brendon. That’s it.”
After each moment kept growing worse and worse, I decided to do what I usually do when I was alone. I started to sing.
“Like the pine trees lining the winding road
I’ve got a name. I’ve got a name.
Like the singing bird and the croaking toad
I’ve got a name. I’ve got a name…”
I kept going with one of Jim Croce’s finest. I was just finishing the third verse:
“- I’ve got a dream. I’ve got a dream.
I know I could share it if you want me to.
If you’re going my way, I’ll go with – “
A sudden noise stopped me dead. It was the sound of something moving in the bushes across the pond. I turned my head – not quite fast enough - and just saw something duck behind a bush extremely quickly, I only caught the very top of a head going down. As I looked hard at the bush, I swear I heard a tiny whimper coming from it. I stood up slowly, debating if I should go over. You don’t know if it might be dangerous, or even bigger than me. I was just about to screw up the courage to walk over when I heard a loud growl that seemed to come from all around. I scanned the area in a panic and saw what I could only call an immense shadow that suddenly filled up nearly my whole vision. Something Huge had stepped in front of me, and all I could see was nothing. I felt a huge breath all over me, and I smelled wild animal all around me. Being around a lot of animals in my life told me the smell of animal. Whatever it is, it was hairy.
“Well, I’m dead,” I said. Then I put one foot behind me, placed one fist on my chest and the other before me, and took a stance. “Might as well go down fighting.” Wish I was as brave as I sound. And that my voice wasn’t cracking. I dripped sweat and fear and waited for the painful and squishy end.
Suddenly I heard a huge rustle of leaves and twigs and what might have been the sound of beating wings. I felt a rush of air as the Thing swung around to see what was behind it. An enormous tail flew over my head. Holy crap, that’s a huge scorpion stinger! I heard a roar from the Thing, and then it cut off and I heard what I could only call a big doggie whine. There was a soft voice I couldn’t quite hear past the pounding of my heartbeat. Then the big whine came again and, to my shock and joy, the Thing stomped off, taking its huge tail with it. I watched, mouth open, hands hanging loose, as it left, leaving the darkened pool and shadowed forest before me. I stepped out to see if I could see what it was, but all I could see was a wide path of destruction going deep into the woods. I looked down and saw big footprints. That looks like a cat’s. What?! Scorpion plus - lion maybe? – equals…a manticore? Where the hell am I?
As I wondered what kind of fantasy world I had found myself, I turned back to thank whatever had saved my life. I saw the moonlight reflecting off the pond, sending sparkles of light dancing on the water. A figure stood in the shadows just outside the moonlight – right next to a rather familiar bush!
Right, start with the thank you, not the accusations. I was about to say something when the figure spoke in a soft, gentle – and clearly female - tone.
“Umm...Excuse me, but are – are you alright?”
Well, at least it’s intelligent.
“Yes, I’m fine. Thank you so much for whatever it was you did back there! I figured I was about to be eaten.” Then killed – shut up, brain!
“Oh. I’m so glad. I’m…I’m sorry I was spying on you. I heard someone talking and tried to follow where it was coming from. Then I heard you singing and I got closer to see who it was.”
Be polite. “So that was you in the bush. No, don’t worry about it, I’d be curious too.” Probably. “I’m just glad it wasn’t a wild animal. You see, I’m really really lost.”
The figure held a hand up to her mouth and giggled very softly. “Yes, I thought so. Almost no one goes into the Everfree Forest at night. Most find it rather dangerous.”
“But not you?”
“Well, I have a way with animals. Like that manticore back there.” She pointed back down the beaten path behind me.
“You mean that thing just…listened to you? You had it backing off like a kitten! You’re amazing!”
The figured turned her head away, her hand at her face. I think she was actually…embarrassed? “Oh, I’m nopony special. But thank you for saying so.”
“Are you kidding? If I was wearing a full suit of armor and a sword, I’d never have done what you just did! And we don’t even have manticores where I’m from. They’re just stories.” Wait, what did she just say? No pony?
“Oh yes, they’re very real. How far away do you live?”
Get it out now, no need to lie. You can’t hide it. And you’re probably ridiculously odd looking here. More so than usual.
Stop it, you know you’re not bad looking.
“Well, that’s kind of hard to say. You see, I think I’m from another world.”
“Hmm? What do you mean?”
“I mean I came through a glowing portal...thingy…and now I’m here and I know this is not my world. The manticore is a huge giveaway if nothing else.”
“Oh.” There was a long pause as she took that in. “I think a friend of mine told me about something like that.” Then she stood up straight and shook her head as if to clear it. "Well, then if you aren't from around here, let me be the first to -to welcome you to Equestria!” She then immediately cringed a little as if she had said too much. “Was - was that alright? I wanted to give you a proper greeting.” I felt certain that if she was smiling, it was an embarrassed grimace.
Don’t laugh. “Y-yes, that was great!” I said putting both hands before me like I was trying to calm her down. “You don’t have to be so shy.”
“What?”
“Shy.”
“How’d you know that?”
“What?”
“My name. It’s Fluttershy.”
Oh my God that’s cute. Like some little stuffed animal I’d never hug in public.
“Oh. No. That’s not what I meant.” Awkward. Move past it. Quickly. “My name is Brendon.”
“Really? I thought that was the person you were talking to. I wondered where he was.”
“Oh, I was just talking to myself. I do that when I’m alone sometimes.” I scratched the back of my head and glanced away. “I’m used to being alone a lot. It’s…also one reason why I sing. That, and I love singing.”
“Well, it’s nice to meet you, Brendon. You, um...you…(mumble mumble).”
“What?”
“You…(mumble mumble mumble).”
“I’m sorry, I really can’t hear you.”
“You have a very nice voice!” She immediately brought both hands to her mouth as if she had said too much.
“Well…th-thank you. I’m glad you liked it.”
“I’ve never heard anything like it before. Did you write it?”
“No, the man who wrote it died long before I was born. Come to think of it, maybe half the songs I like were written before I was born.”
“The…mon? What’s that?”
“What, you mean man? The man? His name was Jim Croce.”
“No, what is a man?”
“That’s what I am. I’m a man.”
“Oh. I’m a pony.”
“I know that I heard you wrong. Say that again?”
“I’m a pony. I’m from Ponyville, a little northwest of here.”
Say. Nothing. This is normal for her. Don’t you dare laugh all over this. It’s another world. And how is a pony walking on two legs? One thing at a time.
“Oh. I forgot for a moment that we were two completely different creatures.” I looked down and noticed that she probably couldn’t see me as I was outside the moonlight as well. “Look, I’m going to come into the light but please don’t be frightened. I’m sure I look freakish in comparison to you, so I’d rather not shock you by accident. Okay?”
There was a very brief, yet seemingly very long, silence. Don’t run away. Please. You seem nice. I don’t want the silence again.
“O-okay. I’m…I’m…ready.” Her voice was going to a whimper. “Go ahead, Br-Brandon?”
“Heh, no, it’s Brendon. But that’s okay, half the people mispronounce my name back home too. Alright I’m gonna do this slow.” Deep breath. “Here I go.”
I don’t know if I ever felt so solemn as when I took the next few steps forward. I wondered what I looked like to her, walking into the light. Seeing my dark blue jeans, my brown button down shirt, my short reddish hair, my glasses, and what I hoped was a warm smile. I held my arms out before me like I was just walking out on a balcony. Friends, Romans, countrymen, put down your stupid arms! I awkwardly put down my arms and just stood there, hands in my pockets.
I heard a sharp intake of breath and I saw the shadowy figure put her hand to her chest. God I must be ugly. Great. Nothing to be done about it. I tried to keep my smile despite my disappointment.
Finally, she spoke. “Ohhhh my. You are a bit different, but…maybe not as much as you think.” At this she walked to the edge of the water, into the soft moonlight. Fluttershy wasn’t lying about being a pony. She clearly had some kind of hooves for feet and her face was slightly equine in nature. But the expression on it was easy to read, oddly human in its smile. Much shorter nose from a horse, though, and those eyes! So blue. Her skin, if it was skin, was all bright yellow. Her hair, or mane I guess, was bright pink, and I could clearly see a long tail of the same color swishing around her legs. She wore a white, sleeveless shirt with a light brown jacket over it. Looked leather, perhaps. Below she wore a dark green skirt to below her knees on which she had a pattern of three pink butterflies. There was a swish of something yellow just over her shoulders which I took for some kind of cape or hood, maybe. She was…well nothing was what I expected, but she was not at all terrible to look at. Her figure was definitely femine, by a human standard. At the time I was more bewildered by the strangeness of it all to properly look her over.
I realized I was holding my breath and staring at her. Her eyes were also roaming all over the new person before her, or at least I assumed so, for she hid half of her face behind her hair/mane. I wasn’t sure what I read in her expression, but I figured I better say something.
“Wow. I mean. Uh. It’s very nice to meet you, Fluttershy. I guess you’re right, we aren’t too different. I mean, I’m glad there’s even someone with two arms and two legs. I had no idea what I’d meet over here.”
She smiled a bit, but then she fully faced me, and I noticed her eyes kept squinting at me as if looking for something. She tilted her head and then took a step towards me. I was about to say, “Hey! You don’t have to do that!” as I thought she was going to wade right through the water, but then I got another shock. What I took for a cape before unfolded into wings and she lifted off the ground, beat her wings a little, and gently flew across the water before alighting beside me. What I was going to say turned into a drawn out, “Heeeeeeeeey…” as my eyes got as big as saucers. I must’ve stared with my mouth hanging open as I just followed her flight with my eyes.
I took my hand and shut my mouth. Say something. “You-you have wings! ” Great job, captain obvious.
She closed her eyes and smiled broadly, a little blush in her cheeks. “Heh, yes I do. I, umm, I guess I should tell you about ponies, since you’re so new here. There are really three types of ponies in our world. Earth ponies: who walk along the earth, unicorns: who have horns on their heads that they use to do magic, and pegasi, like me. ” At this she gave her wings a little flap. “Was…was that alright?”
“Wow, yes, thank you. We…don’t have anything like that in my world. Every person is pretty much the same. At least in how their bodies are built. And we don’t have any…wait, did you say magic ?”
“Oh yes, but I couldn’t tell you much about it. My friend, Twilight Sparkle, could tell you everything you would want to know about magic. She’s a unicorn and she’s really good at magic. She’s the one who mentioned portals to me before.”
“Twilight. Sparkle. Right. Is she purple? Because if she is, I followed her into this world. Equestria you said?”
“Yes that’s right, and she is purple. I didn’t think she was actually going to make one again, though. Princess Celestia told her it could be dangerous the next time she used a portal.”
They have royalty?
“Ah, well hopefully she can find a way to get me home. But – what? What is it?”
Fluttershy had stopped smiling, but her eyes kept inspecting me. Then I finally realized what expression it was that I saw on her face: fascinated curiosity. There was a fire full of questions burning in her; a hunger that told me she wanted to know more. I felt like she was going to start walking around me, when suddenly she leaned forward, practically exploding with energy as she spoke quickly.
“You’re called a man?”
“Well the males are, I’m a human being.”
“Wow, and you have such a short mane.”
“A what?”
She walked briskly up and put both hands in my hair, as if inspecting me. She had to reach up as she was about 3 or 4 inches shorter than my six foot height. I grimaced and just let her do what she wanted. It was like being looked over by a very large child. “Your mane. It’s not long at all. And you don’t have any fur underneath.” Here she grabbed my hand in both of hers, inspecting it closely. I instantly understood what she meant as I felt a thin but very soft fur on her hands. She kept talking the whole time. “You still have fingernails, but no hair at all! Do you have any more anywhere else?”
“Well, I tend to grow hair around the bottom half of my face.” Here I wiped my face with my hand to demonstrate. “And…I also have some hair – I mean not like you – on my chest and going down past my belly button.”
“Oh, you have a belly button too? So your babies are born live?”
“Yes, we’re mammals like you, at least that’s the word we use. We give birth to live young and the woman – sorry, female, or mare I guess – feeds them with milk.”
“Oh, we do that too!” Here she casually pointed to her chest, which surprisingly stopped all my other thinking.
They have boobs?!…right, stop right there, brain! No, the other brain!
“But," Fluttershy continued, "You have no tails? And, are you wearing something on your hooves?”
“Oh, we don’t have hooves, we have feet.” Here I sat down on the ground and she sat with me, obviously fascinated and smiling, like she was on the edge of her seat. She must really like new animals, I guess. I bet she just lights up at a zoo. I took off one of my shoes and then pulled off a sock. She gasped at the look of my foot with my five toes wiggling in the moonlight. Then she reached out and inspected my foot more closely. I blushed and wanted to apologize about the smell, but she just stared and moved my foot this way and that to get a look all around it. I tried to hold myself up with my arms, but she kept jerking my whole body into weird positions and at unexpected moments. She placed my foot down on her palm as though I was standing on it.
“Five toes instead of hooves. That must be how you balance. They don’t grasp things like a monkey would, I guess.” I tried to shake my head, but she wasn’t even looking at my face anymore. She hiked up my pant leg a little. “Oh! And you have more hair up here! But it’s shorter and less clumped together.”
“Oh yeah, I almost forgot that, I also have it on my arms too. Not much to see really – erk!” I felt her hands quickly going north up my leg.
“Does that mean that you have hair going up to your –“ she quickly quieted when she reached too high. Her eyes had following her hands g up my leg, not even focussing on where it led. I gently caught her wrist - but too late! She had gotten to my crotch, and she stopped as her hand touched something...distinct. She gave a little feel with her hand, and judging by her expression she was more surprised than I. At that point I gently caught her wrist. Still in a kind of shock, she looked at her hand, then my hand, and then right into my face leaning towards her. Face to face she looked at me with a kind of slow realization, then moved her eyes south for just a moment. I had no way of knowing if she could see my rapidly rising erection. Fully seeing what she had done, she flung herself away from me as I fell backwards onto my elbows. She brought a hand up to her mouth in embarrassed horror, and looked at me. I don’t know what I looked like, having broken out in a cold sweat and trying to smile at her reassuringly, which wasn’t working. Still sitting, she quickly turned her back to me and covered her face with her hands.
“Oooooh no. I’m sooo sorry.” It sounded like she was dying of embarrassment and guilt. I could swear I heard a sob in her voice, but I couldn’t be sure. Her voice was so low I had to strain my hearing and slow my breathing just to understand her. “Ohhhh, I'm not usually like this. Oh, I messed this all up. I-I-I kept thinking of you as an animal and trying to know more about you. You’re just so…new ! I nearly forgot you’re a stallion.”
Wow, I need to take that as a compliment. Wait, all males are stallions here. Damn. Well, better try to put out this fire.
“Don’t worry about it, I understand.” Sort of. “But maybe just ask next time before you inspect someone a little too much.” I tried to laugh it off as I pulled my legs in, trying to hide the growing tent in my pants.
Thank God she has her back to me.
-Shit! This isn’t going away!
Fluttershy sniffed a few times. “Thank you but – I’m sure you don’t want to be around a pony like me.” She quickly stood up and started walking briskly away. I stared for an instant, then jumped up after her.
“Whoa whoa whoa, hold on! I don’t feel that way at all!” I caught up and grabbed her by the shoulders, spinning her around. She stared at me, ears back, eyes wide, a look of fear and sadness deeply etched on her face, her hands clenched together under her chin. Even standing right in front of me, she tried to hide half her face behind her mane. I couldn’t stand it. “You’re an amazing...pony ! You saved my life! I may not know many ponies in this place – Equestria, or whatever, but I know that you stepped in and helped me without a second thought. That makes you the best pony around, in my opinion. And from talking to you, I can tell you’re a good person – pony , sorry. And besides,” here I let her go and took a step back and shrugged, “You’re the only one who can show me how to get out of this forest. I still need your help. You can’t leave me now.”
I was faking a confident smile when really I desperately wanted her to stay. And please keep looking at my face, don’t look down at my crotch! Her eyes were still wide but the look of fear was gone. She seemed bewildered and blushed furiously, her fingers interlaced together in front of her. Her ears came forward a little. “Do – do you really think that?”
“Yes, I do. And even if all that hadn’t happened,” here I grinned, “you said you liked my singing. When you said that I thought, 'Oh, I like her.'"
What the hell do you think you just said?
"Y-you l-l-like...?"
Quick, before she gets the wrong idea!
"Of course! Who wouldn't want to be your friend?"
“R-really?” she almost blossomed at the mention of the word “Friend” and I saw her nearly squeal with delight. “You’d be my friend? Oh my, that makes me so happy.” Her tone never got much louder than a near whisper, but I knew she meant every word.
Oh, thank God! Now I just need to stop sweating like crazy. And calm down, down there! Why won’t you go away?
“One thing though,” I said, sternly. Her ears drew back for a second. “If you have any more questions about my anatomy, please ask me rather than try to take off my clothes.” Here I broke out in a warm smile.
Her face went even more red than before and she looked down at her hands. “U-umm, yes, I mean, of course, I wouldn’t just try to…to…”
I laughed. “No, I’m just kidding! Don’t take it seriously. Well, I mean, still ask me before you do that again, but we’re good. No hard feelings.” I then stood up straight and raised my chin, and adopted a mock, pompous British accent. “Thank you, Miss Fluttershy, for a most astounding and…intriguing welcome to your land of Equestria! Surely no one could have done it better! I look forward to what else you can show me of your wondrous land. Please lead the way!” I gave a grand wave of one hand before me. “But first!” I held one finger before me and stared down at her seriously. Then I relaxed and smiled. “Let’s be friends.” And I held out my hand to her.
It made me happy to watch her face break out in a little smile that kept getting bigger and bigger. When she finally tentatively reached out her hand to take mine, she was beaming. “Oh yes, I’d love to be your friend!”
“Then it’s official! You are officially my best friend in Equestria!”
Oh, smooth, man, real smooth.
-Nice sarcasm.
It’s a pity complement.
-Was it, though?
We then began walking in the direction to where Fluttershy said her house was. She offered to let me stay there for the night, as it was so late and she didn't want to bother any other pony at that hour.
Of course she doesn't.
I asked how close her neighbors were, as maybe we should warn them that they'll see a strange creature the next day. She told me she lived on the outskirts of Ponyville and that no one really lived nearby.
With a name like Fluttershy, I shouldn't be surprised. But she isn't a shut in, she's out here for one thing and she's too socially adept for another (mostly).
Our casual conversation wandered all over the place, and I tried to answer some questions about humans. Then she asked me about my cutie mark.
She thinks I'm cute?
-No! She asked you what yours is.
"I'm...not sure what you mean. What is it?"
"Oh!" She looked very surprised, and stared at me for a second. Then she smiled as though something had occurred to her. "Wait, I bet you call it something else in your world. It's the mark you get when you discover something unique that only you can do. Something that sets you apart."
I ran that through my brain for a bit before answering.
"So you're not born with it?"
“No we get them when we -” now her eyes got really big. “You mean you've never heard of them? You don't have a cutie mark?!"
"Afraid not. We humans don't get that sort of thing.”
Fluttershy got real quiet. She was looking down and seemed to be thinking really hard. I thought I saw concern on her face. I let the silence play out, not sure what we were talking about or what to say next. Eventually Fluttershy broke the silence, speaking slowly.
“S-so...how do you know what it is you’re good at? How do you find...your...your place in your world?”
“Well, we just choose what we do with ourselves.” Then something occurred to me. “Though not all people work at what they’re good at, and some people don’t even do what makes them happy. Also,” I couldn’t help looking a little sad, holding my chin in my hand. “Some of us have a harder time than others finding our place. If we find it at all.”
I walked on in silence, looking down while I rubbed my chin absentmindedly. Fluttershy must’ve been looking at me for she said, “A-are you okay? You can tell me. If you want, I mean.”
I smiled at her concern. “You’re very kind. But I’ll be alright.”
It’s getting late, the effects are wearing off. I’m thinking too much, and in the wrong direction. I’ll be better in the morning.
“I’m sorry about my reaction about cutie marks. There are many other species here that don’t have them, but I never thought about how much they affect our lives. I’d feel lost without mine.”
I looked up and tried to give an authentic smile. “Maybe it’d help if you told me about your cutie mark.”
She then went on to tell me the story of how she first came to meet animals and finding she could communicate with them on a different level than anyone else. She had a wonderful relation with them. And that was when her cutie mark appeared: three pink butterflies.
“So it’s not just a design on your dress?” I inquired.
“Oh no, it’s actually here on my flank.” Here she pointed to her hip. As I contemplated her story, I realized it looked like I was staring at her butt. Because you are. I looked up, feeling my face grow warm, but Fluttershy looked just the same as before: happy and carefree. I scratched the back of my head and smiled, trying to laugh off my expression.
“Oh, I don't get to see it?" I laughed, a little too hard. "Well, I guess I'll just take your word for it.”
That's the shittiest joke you've ever done.
Fluttershy looked surprised. Her ears pulled back and she once again tried to hide half her face behind her mane. She glanced everywhere except at me.
Wow, I keep taking for granted her naivete. I’m being an ass without meaning to.
-No, you’re flirting with her! Since when did you ever do that with someone you didn’t know?
Rarely.
-Well, stop it!
“W-w-well,” Fluttershy stammered, finally bringing her eyes level with mine, “If-if you really need to see to believe me…” I saw her hand move to her skirt and begin to slowly pull it up. Her face was clearly a burning red, visible even in the little light we had.
“Wait, no - !”
Panicking at what I almost made this little, yellow equinoid do, I practically lunged forward and grabbed her hand before she got much higher than her knee. I didn’t think her eyes could get any wider as she stared up into my face. For about two seconds we stood there, and I realized that I had moved a lot further than I wanted to. Our bodies were separated by only a distance of two or three inches, our noses almost touching, and my arm was pinned against her side gripping her hand firmly but gently as we stared into each other’s eyes. I heard and felt her breathing against my neck, and I felt a strange tingling sensation in my brain - stronger than the feeling when I was in the forest alone, like the dawning of some great realization. Feeling a great need to get out of that moment, I decided that if I pulled away quickly I’d only make things worse. I felt a cold sweat on my forehead. I also realized I was unconsciously rubbing my thumb across her hand.
I feel like I almost destroyed something innocent. It’s like I asked a kitten to go beat up a puppy. But worse.
“No,” I said again, but it only came out in a tiny whisper. “You...you don’t need to do that. I really do believe you.” I seemed to be talking in a daze, I could practically see my own reflection in Fluttershy’s eyes as she just stood there, not struggling in my grasp, or trying to move away. I felt I really needed to say more. “I...I’m really sorry.” Here I stepped back slowly, holding up her hand in both of mine while I patted it in apology. “I was trying to be funny, but my human humor isn’t something I should have expected you to get. Please don’t...I’m sorry for what I almost made you do.”
Fluttershy tilted her head to one side as she looked back at me. Her eyes went to my hand, then back to my face, and I saw her ears go up, slowly. Her tail swished once back and forth.
I really need to figure out how to read all this extra body language. Do I need to look at the tails too, like a dog or something?
“S-s-s-so,” Fluttershy slowly stammered, “I-I-I guess...that I...probably shouldn’t...ask you to pull down your pants…” one side of her mouth twitched into what I think was an attempt at a smirking grin… “Just to make s-s-sure you don’t have a cutie mark?”
Holy shit! Did she just make a joke? By her face, I think it almost broke her.
I realized I was staring in shock, and I was still holding onto her hand.
Then the moment broke all at once, and I belly-laughed so hard I had to clutch my stomach. Tears ran down my face, and through them I saw Fluttershy laughing too. We stood there letting out all the tension that had built up in that last minute (was it really such a small amount of time?).
Eventually we collected ourselves and set off again through the woods. I thought over much of what we’d talked about and posed a question.
“So what are your friends’ cutie marks - ?”
“-why? S-so you can l-look at them too?”
If I had any water in my mouth I’d have done a spit take. I guffawed and looked at Fluttershy with a little admiration. Fluttershy put her hand to her mouth and giggled at my reaction.
Look at that, a little bit more confidence. That-a-girl…I mean mare.
“Ha! No, I mean I just want to know what theirs are. What do they look like and what do they represent? I’m trying to understand you, ponies, a little better.”
You ponies? Like 'you people?' You’re not better than them, you’re as much a -
-Shut up! Just shut up for once! I tried to keep my face calm despite my inner turmoil.
Fluttershy then went on to speak of her friends - Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Twilight Sparkle, Pinkie Pie, and Rarity - and all of their cutie marks and what they meant for each pony’s special talents. I thanked her and found my mind going on a rather different train of thought.
“So...wait, help me out here, what’s your friend Applejack do?”
“She works on the Sweet Apple Acres farm.”
Apples, right.
"Okay. And Rainbow Dash is an incredible flyer...does she have rainbow wings?”
“No, but her mane and tail are rainbow colored.”
Rainbows, naturally.
“Rarity…?”
“Can find hidden gems.”
Which are rare. Hence the name, I’m really seeing the pattern now.
“And," I concluded, "Twilight Sparkle has a sparkling star as her cutie mark.”
Sparkle.
“Well, yes. What is it?”
I looked up from my deep contemplation of the ground in front of me and then at her for a moment.
I ain’t touching Pinkie Pie, that’s way too adorable. And this one’s name is Fluttershy. She can flutter, and she’s shy...No, better not say anything. I think I might unbalance her whole world.
“It’s, uh, it’s nothing. Don’t worry about it.” I tried to smile.
We walked on a while more without saying much.
We were nearing the edge of the woods when Fluttershy spoke up.
“Brendon…Brendon…” she repeated my name slowly, as though trying to feel it out. “Does your name mean anything in your world?”
I tried not to sound surprised at her breaking in on my thought process. She had hit me a little too close to the mark.
It's almost not fair. These ponies don’t have to go far to find out who they are; it’s in their name! I wish I had that kind of self-knowledge waiting around for me to discover.
“W-well…” I tried to think of something and could only come up with the truth. “My mom told me when I was little that it meant ‘keeper of the hill’ in the Irish language. I never really followed up to see what that really meant.” Or if it was even true. I had suspected for years that my mom said it out of ignorance, especially with her choosing such a different spelling of the usual name, “Brendan.”
“‘Keeper of the hill,’” Fluttershy said slowly, then shrugged and smiled. “I don’t know. I wish I could help you find out.”
I smiled at her and shrugged back. “Thanks but I seriously doubt it would help me figure out who I am.”
“You don’t know who you are?”
“D-dah, I mean - ! N-nothing. Oh, look! We’re here!” I was saved from that horrible can of worms being opened as we came out into the open.
In the darkness, what I first took as an immense, misshapen rock standing out against the stars turned out to be Fluttershy's home. I couldn't take it all in, just caught a glimpse of a lot of green, the smells and sounds of animals, and then we were opening her front door. From a distance, her lighted window looked like a cave, but then when we got in and she lit more lamps I was taken aback by how large and well furnished it was.
If she does this well just taking care of animals, how are the rest of the ponies here doing?
I offered to sleep on the couch downstairs but Fluttershy wouldn't hear of it. She took me to a spare room upstairs, down the hall from the bathroom and her bedroom. I thanked her profusely for her help and offered to pay before realizing I had no currency. She laughed it off and showed me where the spare towels were in the bathroom and got me a spare toothbrush. I asked if I could use the bathroom first so as to avoid any embarrassing situations. She said of course and I went about trying to do my usual evening routine.
Use the toilet. Brush teeth. Take my evening pill - "No," I whispered in near panic, sweat breaking out all over my body. I...have...no...meds…
I writhed in place and then paced around for a full minute, barely stopping myself from slamming my fists on the sink in frustration, but then I got myself under control. Then the fury came again and I had to stop from hitting the walls, then the floor, and even my own head. I was barely containing the rising scream that was building up inside of me. I stared at myself in the mirror and saw a look of terror on my face.
"No no no no nononoonono, oh God, please, no."
I don't know how long I stayed like that: no clear thought, no plan, just lost in a long moment while wishing that moment wasn't real. Then I heard a voice at the door.
"Ummmm, excuse me."
Fluttershy! Had she been there the whole time? Was she spying? Did she suspect I wasn't right? No, that was the dark thoughts. She was probably just concerned. "I don't want to be a bother, but are you okay?"
Quick as a flash I tried to force myself under control. "Yeah! Nothing to worry about!"
How many times will you tell her that before you actually believe it? I splashed water on my face and tried to reorient my facial features. I needed to get the fear out of my eyes and just smile.
"Ummm, okay. It's just that...I thought I heard something, so I just wanted to check and see if there was anything I could do to -"
"Nope. I mean, no thank you. I'll be out in a second!"
"Oh, alright. Take your time."
How does she do that without changing tone? It can't be that she believes me. I am not alright. I'm never alright.
Shut up! Stop it!
I practiced my smile until I was semi-happy with it, then quickly pulled the door open. I almost ran right into Fluttershy who looked as if she hadn't moved at all from when she spoke to me through the door. She stood there smiling up at me, as if nothing in the world was wrong, a towel in her hand and a change of clothes in the other. It looked like a nightgown or something, I barely glanced at it; I just so desperately wanted to get away, to hide.
I stammered some sort of “excuse me,” and went down the hall to my room, closing the door behind me. I sat heavily on the bed with my head in my hands for a while as I tried to calm myself down.
It’s just one night. Who knows? They might get you home in the morning. Then you can get your meds and you’ll be fine. You always have enough sitting in your bloodstream to help you get through one day without it. Right? It’ll be okay.
-It won’t come to that. Don't think of the hospital! You’re in a different place. You’ve been with Dr. Mark for years and you know you’re not the same man.
But I’m still scared. Oh, God, I’m so scared. The darkness will be back. Darkness and despair.
-Oh, God, shut the hell up! I can’t think about it!
It's your own fault! Why did you jump into that damned portal?
After untold minutes of sitting there, my eyes darting around, seeing nothing, I slowly undressed and placed my clothes on a little nightstand. Wondering if going to bed in my briefs would be warm enough, I searched the nightstand and found a set of pajamas. They were bright pink. It gave me an excuse to laugh. “Ho, no. Well...I can live with the pants. I never wear a shirt to bed anyway.” I was just putting them on when I realized that I never said good night.
Don’t be impolite to her. She’s an innocent little thing and you don’t want to hurt her feelings.
-But you can’t see anyone like this!
But it’ll just take a second!
-Quick! Now!
With no clear thought except the desperate need to get it over with, I threw open my door and dashed out before I changed my mind, thinking I’d just say a quick good night through her door. I ran out fast and felt a fist punch me in the face. It turned out that Fluttershy was right outside my door, her arm in mid motion to knock on my door (and by how rigid her arm felt, I think she had been standing there for a bit, working up her courage to do so). With how much momentum I had, I essentially close lined myself on her fist, my legs slipping out from under me as I slammed into the floor. I wish I had blacked out, if just from the sheer humiliation of it all, but I didn't. Not quite, anyway.
I was barely conscious. At that moment I was in a world of dizzying pain. Whatever I saw was swirling colors that hurt to look at. All I could remember was that there was something important I had to say, and someone very important to say it to. I felt like I was in a dream, everything was feelings and emotions, yet they were vague and undefined. Pain, heat, confusion. I might have drained my bamage.
I eventually felt myself being lifted ever so gently and something cool placed on my forehead. Where once it was all pain, now I felt comfort and kindness. Whatever I was now laying on was very soft, and I felt someone supporting my head with something even softer. My befuddled mind sank into bliss. All I knew was that my world had been pain, and someone was taking that pain away. For some reason that was extremely touching. I felt like crying, whatever this person was doing seemed so unselfish, so kind, and like a dream I couldn’t explain why it touched me so deeply. There was some terribly moving music coming from somewhere nearby. I felt something cool being brought to my lips and I drank. My eyes felt wet. I had to tell this person how wonderful they were, but my lips would not work. I felt like weeping, for here was some sort of great truth that I couldn’t share with this nice person. Some soft voice was trying to say something back and I struggled to raise my head and say what I had to say, raising my hand in desperation to reach out and touch this person who seemed so very far away. I hoped they wouldn’t run away and leave me. My lips said it, whatever it was, for like a dream I could remember no dialogue. I sank back, smiling at a job well done, and promptly fell asleep.
* * *
These next events I only learned much later.
Fluttershy slowly crept back to her room, trying not to think too much of what had just happened. Of course the human was delirious, he had just had a rather nasty bump on the noggin. But still, why did she keep replaying the situation over and over in her head?
After he had fallen, she had scrambled to help him. After getting what she needed, she had laid him on the bed, getting up next to him so that she could support his head on her lap. She had wiped his face with a cold, wet cloth and slowly gave him water mixed with healing herbs she had kept from Zecora. She had sung softly to him, like she would with any wounded animal, and the human had kept mumbling something she couldn’t quite hear. It looked like there were tears in his eyes. She had tried to quiet him and tell him it would all be alright, but he had shaken his head and tried to sit up. After many failed attempts at this, she decided to lean in close to hear what he wanted to say. It was at that moment he finally raised his head a few inches, his unseeing eyes opened and looked straight into hers, he raised his hand and clumsily found her face where he caressed her cheek once, ever so gently, and she heard him whisper, “You’re just...so beautiful. Please. You have to know. So beautiful. Please...please…” His voice faded, his eyes closed, his hand fell away, and his head sank back. His breathing deepened. Asleep at last.
“He...he probably didn’t even know who he was talking to,” she reassured herself, as she climbed into bed. “If he did, he wouldn’t have said such things.” She lay down and closed her eyes. It wasn’t long before she opened them again, staring at the wall as though trying to see through it into the man’s room. “Poor Brendon. I wonder why he seems so sad.” She smiled. “He does seem nice. I do hope I can help him.” There was a long silence. “I wonder if he really thinks I’m beautiful."
She turned over and closed her eyes. Eventually a tiny whimper could be heard in the darkness. "Oh."
* * *
I started up from my bed. I woke from a wonderful dream, but I struggled to remember it. One lingering thought seemed to remain: "Please don't leave me. Don't leave me alone."
What had happened? I had opened the door to my room and then…something hit me. Or I ran into something? I looked around but I was safely in bed, my head hurt but not too much, and the only thing I knew was that I wasn't the one that put me there.
"Fluttershy," I said aloud to the darkness of the room. I half wanted her to be there and respond. I sat there thinking about how she had been so kind to me, had saved me, even put me to bed when I fell(?), and yet she seemed so down on herself. I liked her smile. Someone like that deserves to smile. But why was she so shy? Something to find out another time.
As I drifted off to sleep, thinking about this strange mare whom I had met this day, it didn’t even occur to me that, as I was thinking of Fluttershy, all thoughts of the darkness were nowhere to be found. The only darkness was outside; inside all was comfort, kindness, and peace.
Author's Note
Yep, that's a LONG intro. Good news is a hood portion of it is already written, including the ending (all two of them). I'm trying to keep characters as close to themselves as I can (while failing miserably). It may seem tame, but I know where this will inevitably go, thus the mature rating. For those of you waiting for the juicy bits, a tiny bit of patience is needed.
Comments welcome! Thanks for reading this far!
What do you mean, "friend?"
Chapter 2) Nice to meet you! I'm out!
Chapter 2) Nice to meet you! I'm out!
Birds were singing, a gentle breeze blew through the open window, and a warm beam of sunlight shone down on me as I woke up. I awoke smiling, and for a few seconds I believed I was in my old childhood home with the woods only a stone's throw from my bedroom window. It was a lovely moment before I realized where I was.
I was on another world, a seemingly infinite distance lay between me and all I loved, and I was alone.
But even with all that hanging above me, I still felt too good to let it crush me. I stretched, shrugged, and said: "I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. It's still beautiful outside and I'm still alive." I was reminded of a saying of my father's: If I'm above ground, it's a good day. Even on my worst day, I can still say that.
I used the bathroom, put on a shirt, and walked downstairs. I started to smell something delicious cooking. Following it to the kitchen, I found Fluttershy was at the stove.
"Mmmm, that smells great! Whatcha making?"
Fluttershy yelped and jumped in surprise. Her mane (it was so hard not to think of it as just hair) and tail seemed to frizz up for just one moment. She turned to me, ears back, and a blush on her cheeks. As she turned, I jumped, but for very different reasons.
"Oh, I'm so sorry. I didn't hear you come in. I was just making oatmeal and pancakes. I'm sorry, I didn't even think to ask what humans eat. You probably won't like it."
"N-no, that's great! I'm...amazed you eat such similar foods." Should I be, really, at this point? "Th-that's very kind of you to make it for me." I saw a small side table with two chairs so I took one, and tenderly crossed my legs. That should hide it very well.
She closed her eyes and smiled. "Oh it's no bother. It'll just be a few minutes. To be honest, I wasn't sure if you'd be up this early, but then again I'm not used to having company stay overnight."
With that she turned back to the stove. Meanwhile I tried hard to think of what to say while willing myself not to stare. I swallowed hard, took a deep breath, and make an attempt.
"Oh. That explains why you didn't change."
"Hmmm?" She turned to look at me in confusion.
"Well...I assume that's your nightgown?"
Fluttershy looked down and saw that she was indeed in her white, silky nightgown. And while it did cover everything, in the bright morning light streaming in through the window, it became just a bit transparent. What was also transparent was the fact that Fluttershy was not wearing a bra. I did my best to keep a calm face, my eyes fixed on the floor by her feet. Hooves, dammit! They're hooves!
Fluttershy emitted a loud squeak, turned crimson, looked at me for two seconds - as I raised my eyes with a zen expression - and ran out of the kitchen with a hurried, “Excuse me, I’m so sorry!” I insisted that my eyes should not follow her out. It was a hard struggle.
I got up and walked to the stove, calling over my shoulder, “Don’t worry, I’ll just watch the stove!” So I stirred the oatmeal and began flipping pancakes. As I finished making breakfast, I tried to get my mind off of what I had just seen. My internal dialogue wasn’t helping.
Dear God, her chest must open doors for her! How’d I miss that?
-You were more concerned with the ALIEN WORLD you had dropped into. What’s with you, you idiot? She’s not even human!
She’s pretty cute, though -
-She’s not HUMAN! You can’t be attracted to her, and she’s literally the first female you’ve met and the only inhabitant you’ve spoken to. Geez, how long has it been since you -
Too long, we can agree on that, but that shouldn’t make the big man downstairs so restless like he’s been yesterday and today. Anyway, that poor girl - MARE - must be so embarrassed. I should do my best not to make this any worse.
-You mean tease her about how she probably never has any stallions stay over? That’d just cement you as being the horrible person you are, eyeing up an innocent -
Right, I’m done. I need a distraction. Wow, this breakfast is incredibly interesting…
I began wondering what the pony diet must consist of. Oats? Obviously. Vegetables. No meat. No meat? That would be bad. Maybe eggs? I’d ask about protein later.
I saw there was a kettle on the stove and assumed it must be for tea. I began looking through her cupboards to find any. I found spices, various ingredients, and started taking things for the meal. I found cups, plates, and silverware so I began to set the little table. I looked in the fridge - a fridge? - and found what looked like orange juice, so I set it out. Eventually I found tea and set two mugs on the table. I put the pancakes in the middle of the table and poured the oatmeal into two bowls. It looked like she’d mixed in some berries and things already, and there was already syrup on the counter, so I didn’t go looking for anything else. I sat down at the table and waited.
You realize what you just did?
-Yes.
You went through a kitchen very similar to a human’s.
-Yep.
The whole setup and ingredients were practically the same.
-Yep.
And the labels were in English!
-Oh, yes.
What in the flippin -
-BEST. NOT. TO THINK. ABOUT IT.
Right, fine…
It was only a moment later that I saw Fluttershy - having put on a long shirt under her nightgown - attempting to slowly enter the kitchen as though trying, and failing miserably, at acting like nothing had happened. It was like watching a child trying to lie to an adult. Everything was written on her face and she couldn’t stop wringing her hands in front of her.
“Oh, th-thank you, Brendon! You didn’t have to do all this.”
“You’re welcome, but, to be fair, you didn’t have to either. So thank you, it was very kind of you.”
“Oh. You're most welcome. I’m sorry about - “
“-about what?” I asked, innocent as could be.
“About...oh...nevermind I - Oh! There’s the kettle! I’ll get that.” And with that, she poured the water into a little teapot and set it at the table.
“Great! Let’s eat!” and with that I dug in. Everything was delicious.
As we ate in silence, I could see Fluttershy was still uncomfortable so I tried to break the ice by asking her what she added to the oatmeal. She brightened up a bit at that and seemed grateful for the distraction. After that I asked her about her job tending all the animals, whether she watched any of the other animals in ponyville, and we chatted about this and that. I wolfed down my food pretty fast, but I figured I’d wait politely for her to finish so I poured myself another cup of tea, leaned back in my chair and gazed out the window at the beautiful morning sky.
Suddenly a little white bunny jumped onto the table with a surprisingly surly expression on its face. I did a huge spit take and instantly doused the little thing in (briefly) used tea. It glared at me sulkily, dripping tea onto the table while Fluttershy giggled behind it, causing it to whip around and glare at her.
“Ho, Angel, I’m sorry, but you should see what you look like!” said Fluttershy, trying to stifle her laughter. When she got it under control she gestured to me. “This is Brendon, he's a human. He’s just staying here until he goes home. I need to show him into town to meet my friends. Please be nice to him while he’s here.”
I smiled at the adorable little, wet hairball of a bunny, but I don't think he liked my amusement. He lept on my lap, still dripping, looked me square in the eye, and then gave me the "I'll be watching you" gesture with his tiny paw.
D'awwwww!
Then Angel shook himself like a dog right under my nose, spraying me with tea.
"Angel! That's not very nice!"
"No! That was great!" I said, unable to stop laughing, "I really had that coming." I was still laughing as I took a napkin, wiped my face and stood up. "Guess I should take a shower - I mean another shower. And then I guess we can go and meet the locals?"
"Oh, um, yes. That sounds good. I'll go get changed."
So after a quick shower, a change back into my clothes from the previous night, I was walking down the path to Ponyville with Fluttershy beside me. It was a bright, sunny day, the birds were singing, and the view as we left Fluttershy's house was beautiful.
We're a little above the town. It's so nice to be able to look down and get a view of what's waiting for me. A whole town of…other beings. But this air! It's so fresh!
Again I felt the effect of the air of this place, like it was giving me more energy. The smells seemed richer, the sound clearer, and I found myself smiling more than I expected.
You're just distracted enough to not think about your meds. Wait until later, then it'll all go away.
You go away!
I was right about one thing: I needed a distraction.
"You live in a really beautiful place, Fluttershy. It must be amazing to be out in the country like this.”
“Oh, yes, it is very nice. I don’t think I’d live anywhere else. I get to take care of dear, little animals and I have my best friends nearby.”
“That’s...that’s wonderful. Really, that sounds like a great way to live.”
“Thank you, but, ummm, are you okay, Brendon?”
“Huh? Yeah. I’m fine. Really. Thank you for asking.” I did my best not to look at her while I spoke. It bothered me how much of her talk sounded like a dream to me, and that unattainable dreams shouldn't be so simple.
We continued on in silence until we reached the edge of the town, when something came hurtling towards us down the path. There was only time to see an impossibly fast blur of pink, when suddenly there was a bright pink pony standing right in front of Fluttershy, waving her arms frantically. She seemed to be wearing a blue and yellow top, and a dark pink skirt with a pattern of balloons on it.
“What the - ?”
“Fluttershy! You’ve got to come quick! Twilight won’t wake up!” Her tone of voice was unbelievably bubbly, despite the worry in her voice, and it reached such high notes I was afraid my glasses would start vibrating. She then glanced over at me and instantly she was beside me, looking me straight in the face. “Oh hi - who’re you? - I’m Pinky Pie - I’ve never seen any pony like you before.” I was so stunned I barely had time to catch the barrage of words; there seemed no space between them.
Dear God, I never saw her move. Truly there is great power in this one.
“Uh, I’m Brendon. I’m...new...here?”
I felt my hand taken in a soft but unbreakable grip and bounced up and down faster than a drum solo at a power metal concert.
“Nice to meet you, Brendon! - Wow that’s a funny name. - Where did you - ?”
Fluttershy tried to jump in. “Umm, Pinky Pie, there’ll be time for that later. Did you say something’s the matter with Twilight?”
The pink puffy pony nodded vigorously. “Spike said he found her on the floor this morning, and he can’t get her to wake up. They’re sending for a doctor, or maybe they’ll have to take her to the hospital!”
“Oh dear ! Well, let’s go!”
We all ran into town. I caught glimpses of various shops with a variety of different colored ponies all over the place. Some caught sight of us and stared wide eyed at me. Eventually I stopped looking, too self-conscious to think about all the looks I was getting. Eventually we came to a large tree-house that turned out to be the library as well as Twilight’s home.
Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie burst through the door while I kept a respectful distance behind them. Inside were three other ponies. There was an orange pony with bright yellow mane in short overalls over a flannel-looking button down, sporting a cowboy hat; a white unicorn in a rather elegant, corporate casual getup, with a very beautifully styled, purple mane that was accented by her purple eyeshadow; a blue pegasus with rainbow mane who wore tight, black jogging shorts and matching tank top; all standing near around a purple unicorn -wait! She has wings, too? - dressed in what looked like a knee length skirt, simple white blouse, and a purple and black hoodie who was laying on the ground. There was also some large, purple lizard-like creature that I could only take to be a dragon, except he was about maybe four and a half feet tall and standing on his hind legs, wearing a simple shirt with shorts. All turned to us as we came in.
“Oh, Fluttershy!” said the small dragon. “Don’t worry, we’re getting help. B-but I don’t know what happened to Twilight!”
I awkwardly tried to hide behind the two ponies in front of me, but eventually all eyes turned to me. The white unicorn blinked through her purple mane and asked, “Um, Fluttershy, darling, who is this you’ve brought with you?”
“Well, this is, um, Brendon. He’s a - what was it? Oh yes - a human. Brendon, these are my friends: Applejack, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Spike, you’ve met Pinkie Pie, and that’s, umm, Twilight Sparkle.”
I stepped forward and tried my best to look each pony in the eye as I spoke. All had such a look of surprise and wonder that I felt like I had something on my face.
You do. It’s your face.
“Hello, it’s nice to meet you all. I’m from...another world, I guess. Twilight, here, accidentally brought me to Equestria.” I then told them the tale of how I’d foolishly followed the purple pony into this world.
Spike looked horrified. “A portal? B-but she’s been told to be extremely careful not to do that again! Princess Celestia said that something bad could happen! I need to get a letter to her right away.” He immediately whipped out a scroll and began writing on it with a quill. When he finished, he blew a small green flame on it, and the scroll seemed to burn up in mid air.
Umm...that’s how he sends letters? Makes about as much sense as anything around here.
“I’m sorry to bring this news,” I said, looking down. “And I wish there was something I could do.”
“Aw, don’t feel bad,” said Applejack. “You have done somethin’! Without you, we’d have never known what had happened to our friend. It’s a good thing you happened along.”
“Yeah, even if you do look a little weird ,” Rainbow Dash added, looking at me with a squint and a funny smile. “You’re...kinda bald.”
“Yeah? Well you’re kinda furry,” I shot back, not unkindly. “I guess this is the first time you’ve seen a non-pony before?”
“Well, not really, darling,” said Rarity. “There are all kinds of creatures that live in Equestria. There are gryphons, buffalo, yaks, crystal ponies, changelings, and of course dragons - like little Spikey Wikey here, and even more.” When speaking of “Spikey Wikey” her voice went into cutesy baby voice.
Oh God, the cuteness feels like it’s invading my brain! Can you get an overdose of cute?
-Yes.
I asked the question, and I don’t know the answer.
-Still feels like Yes.
“Yeah, but we’ve never seen anypony like you before,” piped Pinkie Pie. “What was your name again? It’s funny!”
“Umm...Brendon. I’m sure it is funny. All of your names are strange to me. Your whole world is pretty new and strange. Though I guess it’s not too different. Luckily I met Fluttershy,” I said, walking over to her and putting my hand on her shoulder. “She found me last night, when I was wandering lost in the Everfree Forest. She saved me from a Manticore. It was amazing!”
Fluttershy turned a little crimson and whispered a tiny, “Oh, it was nothing,” and hid her face in her mane. It was so adorable I couldn’t help but smile.
“Wait, last night ?” said Rainbow. “Did you just get out of the forest?”
“What? No, she let me sleep at her house. We came out of the forest very late last night.”
“R-e-a-l-l-y? ” she said, drawing out the words as she slowly looked over at the yellow pegasus who seemed to be trying to make herself smaller.
“Yeah,” I went on, hoping my appearing ignorant would somehow make it all okay. “She’s such a kind pony, she even made me breakfast this morning!” Oh, way to go, that sounds WONderful.
“Oh my , Fluttershy, I’ve never seen you work so fast before!” giggled Rarity, trying to stifle her amusement. Fluttershy’s whole head seemed to be changing color and I felt the redness creep up into my face. I slowly took my hand off her shoulder.
“Come to think of it,” smiled Rainbow, “I’ve never seen her work, period. Since when did you get so bold?”
“Aw, come on , ya’ll!” interjected Applejack. “Can’t you see she’s embarrassed enough as it is? Besides, it’s Fluttershy we’re talkin’ about here. She’s the kindest pony there is, and ain’t no one gonna say she’s got funny motives or some such.”
“Oh, you know we’re just teasing!” said Rainbow Dash, grabbing Fluttershy in a side hug, and glancing at me with a smirk. I smiled back awkwardly, noticing an intensity in her eyes I found disturbing. Her mouth says this is funny, her eyes say I’m in trouble. Fun times ahead.
Spike ran into the midst of this, waving his arms. “How can you guys joke at a time like this? Twilight is out cold, and you’re laughing about a sleepover? What are you - ?”
His words were cut off by a brilliant flash that blinded everyone for an instant. My eyes were dazzled and it took a few moments to see what, or who, had appeared. A tall, white figure appeared. She really was tall, perhaps seven feet, with wings, a horn, a brilliant necklace, crown and dressed in a robe with a sun stitched on each side. Her multi colored mane and tail flowed with no wind, and her whole being radiated peace and dignity.
Royalty, indeed. This one is...different.
“Princess Celestia!” cried Spike. “Thank goodness! Twilight is - !”
“I’m aware, Spike,” came the impossibly calm and serene voice of this...pony(?). “Thank you for informing me, I -” She stopped as her eyes fell on me. “You! You’re a human!”
I raised an eyebrow.
“How’d you know that, Princess?” asked Applejack, and then it dawned on her. “You’ve seen one before?”
“Yes, I have,” the Princess said, eyeing me with what I could only think was sympathy mixed with pity, “And Twilight has visited them before.” Here she looked down at the unconscious Twilight. “I warned her not to try to go there on her own; the magic is too powerful and too unstable. I wish she’d listened to me.”
“Is...is she going to be alright?” Rainbow asked.
“I hope so, Rainbow Dash. I hope so.”
I couldn’t hold in my question. “Is there any way I can still get home?!” I couldn’t keep the rising panic out of my voice, but as I glanced at Twilight I felt awful. “I’m sorry, it’s not just about me. I know you’re worried about your friend. But…” Something was wrong. My head started to hurt and the room was spinning. “...I’m not...I’m sorry…” Everyone was looking at me, bewildered. My hand went to my head which kept pounding like a racehorse. “I...I hit my head…” My legs gave out and the last thing I heard was someone crying out, “Brendon, no!” before everything went black.
Author's Note
Yeah, couldn't hold it in any longer. Had to get some more out. Now let's see how terribly I can keep up the pace. PLEASE comment on what you think, even if to say it's crap. Constructive criticism is needed.
EDIT: Some grammar and removed a scene I just couldn't force to make sense. I may try to integrate it i to a later chapter. Maybe.
And thank you so much for reading!
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What do you mean, "friend?"
Chapter 3) Bad News, Worse News, and My News
The world slowly swam into focus. It wasn’t much to look at.
That’s a lot of squares. Man, this is a weird dream. Oh. That’s a ceiling. Right.
I sat up and found myself in a hospital bed. My clothes were gone and all I had on was a hospital gown of thin fabric. The back of my head and neck hurt a bit, but it was very dull and even as I reached up to touch it, I could feel the pain lessen. As I started to truly wake up, a wild hope came to me.
Maybe it’s all been a dream! I hit my head. I had some crazy, wild, vivid -
This thought was interrupted - and then dashed - when the door opened and in stepped Celestia. She looked the same as before: incredibly calm yet somehow slightly ethereal. She had a soft smile on her face, but her eyes seemed sad.
“Hello, human. I’m glad to see you’re awake and recovering wonderfully!”
“Am I?” I said, grunting softly as I sat up more comfortably. I glanced around to see if there was any other hospital staff (ponies?) in my room, but there was none. “I guess I should thank all of you for helping me. Did I black out?”
“Yes. You are in the Ponyville hospital. I brought you here after you passed out. The doctors think it was a mix of incredible stress and a hard impact you took last night, the latter of which Fluttershy informed us. You should be perfectly fine now. There will be a little pain, but it will be gone soon. They say you will be released later this afternoon.”
“Wow, that’s good.” I paused and looked down, then back up. “Umm...then why do you look like you’re about to give me bad news?”
Celestia’s features softened. She pulled up a chair and sat beside my bed.
“Brendon - may I call you Brendon? - I wanted to tell you a few things in private. These are not secrets, but I believe this might make it easier for you to hear.”
This sounds like she’s about to tell me I have cancer.
“It’s about Twilight Sparkle and her journey into the human world. I sent her to retrieve a very powerful item that was stolen and taken to a parallel world. It was so similar to ours, it even had counterparts of the mares you’ve met, but in human form. When she crossed over, Twilight even became human in that world for a time. But please know that the place to which she travelled was not the world you come from.”
“I don’t understand.”
“I will try to explain. Twilight did finish the task I sent her and came back, but she had been sent through a magic mirror, not a portal. Months passed, and I believe my student, Twilight, came to miss - or at least to think greatly - about the human world she had visited. She began studying books on portal magic to other realities. It is a forbidden magic, for it is incredibly powerful and dangerous to the one who uses it - not to mention accidents can happen such as someone like you being pulled right out of your world!
"I came to know of her creating such a portal not long ago and I confronted Twilight about it. She admitted she had done it more than once already, and that she had gone to learn more about humans and their ways. The world she crossed over to, though, was your own. She could not get back to the world through the mirror. I don’t know all that she did while she was over there, but I warned her not to do it again. The strain on her would prove too great, and she could destabilize the barriers between worlds. Who knows what harm that might do?”
She gave a great sigh.
“Apparently she did not listen. And so: you are here.”
“There’s more. Isn’t there?”
“Yes. I'm afraid there is bad news and worse news. First: if Twilight doesn’t wake up, there is no one who knows exactly how to get you home. Lastly: if she does wake up, I don’t know that another portal might not do more harm than good. Even the strain on Twilight, alone, might kill her.
“I’m...I’m so sorry.”
“Oh…” It was all I could think to say. A deep feeling of loss came over me, but it seemed so vast I didn’t know how to deal with it. I felt there should be tears, but nothing came. My mind seemed almost numb. I tried to grasp onto the repercussions of this, and I latched on to the most immediate issues I could think of.
“That’s...going to be a problem for me. Can I...can I confide in you?”
“Of course, Brendon. You can trust me, or any of the wielders of the elements, with anything. Please, what is it?”
I felt shame and embarrassment well up in me, but I had to fight through all my misgivings to get the next few words out.
“I...I’m sick.”
“The doctors didn’t see any diseases -”
“It won’t show up like a normal disease. It’s more in here-” I pointed to my head “-than in my body. My mind...turns on itself. Have you heard of a depression?”
“I assume you don’t mean a deep hole in the earth?”
“No. It means my thoughts tend to get very dark very easily. I have a hard time seeing the good in things...especially in me. I beat myself up in my mind, and I can’t stop the thoughts that can come rushing in. It happens most when I’m alone, but when it gets really bad it’ll happen everywhere I go.”
“I have heard a little of such things. How do you handle this in your world?”
“I take medicines.”
“And they cure you?”
“No, they help me deal with it better. I can...dismiss the thoughts more easily and push past my sad, lonely feelings. I can also sleep better.”
“I must admit, I wish I understood more fully.”
“Okay, here’s the best way to describe it. Imagine you’re walking along and the sun is shining, it’s a perfect day! All of a sudden, the clouds come rolling in, and it’s just a dull, cloudy, grey and drab day. Now, you don’t think to yourself, ‘Oh, the sun just went behind a cloud.’ No, you think, ‘There never was a sun.’ Everything was, is, and always will be this grey, depressing, dullness. You’re down and you can’t feel your way past it.”
“That is very well said. Was that rehearsed?”
“I've used that to explain this to many people. I try to help others who have my issues, so I help people understand it better.”
“You have a heart for those suffering? That is rather noble of you.”
“Is it? I just think it’s best to treat people the way you wish you were treated.”
“A very good notion, indeed, Brendon. But perhaps there is medicine here that will help you?”
“I don’t even know how my own is made. There’s just two things I do know: my mind will get worse without it, and that I've only once gone without meds for a few years without getting, uh, too bad. So I might be okay.”
“You do not sound convinced. You say you still take the medicine - ?”
“Last year I had to go back on them. I...I, uh...I was taken to a hospital because I planned to kill myself.”
“Oh my, I’m so sorry!”
“Yeah...I had a big change in my life and I didn’t deal with it well. Stayed by myself. Didn’t ask for help. It’s my fault really.”
“If you do not have full control over your mind, I do not believe that is the case.”
“You’re probably right. See? I’m beating myself up already.”
Celestia put her chin in her hand and seemed deep in thought. After a few moments she looked up. “You mentioned that you have trouble sleeping. I believe my sister could be of some aid. She can enter dreams.”
“What?! She can - ? Oh, magic. Sorry, this is all extremely new to me.”
“It is perfectly alright. There is much to adjust to. My sister’s name is Luna. The easiest way to describe her to you is that she rules Equestria with me. She is also an alicorn.”
“A what?”
“The, ah, short version is that she also has a horn and wings.”
“Oh. So that’s what Twilight is.”
“Yes, but that is another long story. My sister, on the other hand, rules with me. I am in charge of the day, while she is Princess of the night.”
“You’re the sun and she’s the moon?”
“Not exactly. I raise the sun and she raises the moon.”
“Oh, damn , this is a lot to deal with. One thing at a time: if she can help me with my dreams, I,uh, I guess give her permission to do whatever she can in my head. I mean, if she needs permission? I don't know. I just hope there isn’t stuff too odd in there.”
Celestia laughed. “Do not trouble yourself. She has seen the dreams of countless ponies and yours will not be the mind that finally disturbs her too greatly.”
I smiled. “Thank you. I mean for all of this. And for listening to me. It’s really...it’s...hard for me to ask for help.” I didn’t know why there were tears in my eyes.
“You are scared,” she said, reaching out a comforting hand and placing it on my shoulder.
For a heartbeat I tried to keep everything inside, and then it came rushing out. “Oh, God, yes!” I cried, and without thinking I flung myself into her as she opened her arms to embrace me. I sobbed and sobbed. I couldn’t hold it all in. Ripped from my world, nearly getting killed, told I’d never see my home, family, or friends again, the thought of going mad - all of that stress broke through like a flood. Celestia just hugged me back and gently patted my head. She didn’t even say a word, and I was grateful for it.
It was probably only a few minutes but eventually I calmed down and sat back again.
I sniffed. “Thank you.”
“You are most welcome. Perhaps it is best I let you have your visitor. She has barely wanted to leave your side since you came here.”
“Who? Fluttershy?”
“Yes. She seems to feel rather responsible for you. She blames herself for your head injury.”
“I can’t imagine why. She’s been amazing! She saved my life in the Everfree Forest and let me sleep in her house. She’s been...a good friend. I wish she wasn’t so down on herself, though.”
The princess smiled. “Your face seems to have brightened up a bit since you spoke of her.”
“Hmmm? I did what?”
“Oh nothing, it’s probably best that you get your mind onto other things.” I couldn’t read the smile that was spreading on her face.
“Well, I do want to make myself useful now that I’m going to be...living here. What can I do around here?”
“Oh, I’m sure you’ll find something to occupy yourself and be of great help to the ponies here. But I encourage you to rest and take in all that you can. There is a lot that you will have to adjust to, and we will have to adjust to you. However, if you do want to do something in the meantime, you mentioned that you, too, have noticed Fluttershy’s self deprecation. She has come a long way from where she was, but I have personally felt that her lack of confidence has kept her from more...fulfilling relationships.”
Again with that smile.
“You mean her friends aren’t good enough?”
“Oh, goodness, no! They are her best friends and have been of incredible aid to her, as she is to them. No, what I mean is that I believe that if someone were to go alongside her more often, somepony new whom she hasn’t known much, and help build her up...well, I think she might listen more than from those who have constantly said the same for years.”
“Oh, you mean like how my parents always said I was 'an attractive young man' and I didn’t believe them because I figured it’s what parents are supposed to say? Yeah, it took someone else to help me see past that. A few people over the years.”
“Is there somepony like that in your life now? I mean your life back on your world?”
“Huh? No! Not in a long time.”
Best. Not. Think. About it.
“Oh, that’s good.”
“Huh - ?”
“So my assignment to you, Brendon, to help you feel more useful, is to help build Fluttershy up more and help her see herself as the amazing pony you see her to be. Maybe more.”
“What, is this like a quest? Am I a knight doing an errand for the queen?”
She laughed. “No, no, no. For your new Princess.”
Now I laughed. “Right. Now that I’m here, I guess you’re my new ruler.”
We both had a little giggle at that. “No, don’t think of me like that,” she said. “Think of me as a friend. A friend in high places that wishes the best for you.”
“Geez, how many times can I keep saying thank you!”
Celestia got up to leave, and I looked down for a moment, thinking. “There is just one more thing before you go. It’s a random thought, but, uhhhh…”
“Yes?” she said, all patience.
“The...uh...the air of this place has been having some kind of effect on me. Not bad at all, but I feel...stronger. Like I have more energy. In, uh, practically all places in my body.”
“Really? Do you think it could help your sickness?”
“Well...not until you said something just now, no. I doubt it’ll make it go away entirely, but we’ll see. I was more concerned with - ”
There was a loud knock on the door, followed by a very small, “Um, excuse me. If it’s no trouble, could I come in, please?” It was Fluttershy.
For some reason I couldn’t fully explain, I suddenly began looking around wildly for my pants. I saw nothing, and then wondered why I was looking for them. Meanwhile Princess Celestia was opening the door with an “Of course, my dear,” and in walked Fluttershy.
She was well composed, with her ears back and a look of deep concern on her face. But when she saw me sitting up and smiling, she suddenly dashed forward and wrapped me in a huge hug. I was taken aback by her strength. At the same moment, her wings spread to their full length with a large *FWOOMP!* on either side of her. I couldn’t help but notice that her tail was also swishing back and forth across my legs.
“Oh! Oh, I’m so glad you’re alright! I’m so sorry I did this to you!”
“Wh-what?" I stammered, so taken aback I barely even raised my hands to tentatively hug her in return. “No! Why would I blame you? You’ve been a good friend.”
This only made her hug me even tighter with a muffled, “Thank you.” I was becoming painfully aware of how fully she was pushing her chest into me, and the swishing of her tail over the thin covering made it feel like it was going over my bare legs. I was getting so hard, and the only stupid strategy I could think of was to hug Fluttershy tightly so she didn’t stand back up and see me! I instantly saw the flaw in my plan. This was not making it go away. Quite the opposite.
I looked up and saw Celestia giving a soft chuckle. “Oh, Brendon, I see what you mean by all places." I glanced down and to my immense credit I didn't make a sound as I panicked, seeing an obvious tent in the sheets. "Well, I wish you well and, in all seriousness, no matter what has happened, I'm thankful somepony like you is here with us."
I think I gave a parting look between annoyed and happy. Then it was time to carefully extricate myself from this cuddling mass of yellow and pink.
No, a little bit longer! She's so soft.
-Ho, yes she is!
Well, I am NOT.
-And she smells nice!
How am I going to cover this up?
I quickly pulled a knee up to make the sheets rise just enough to cover my blatant erection. At the same time I gently put my hands on Fluttershy's shoulders and broke the hug. When I looked her in the face, I was surprised to see such a bright smile and her eyes seemed on the edge of tears.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” I said, “I’m fine! Really! I’ll be out of here soon, I hear.”
“Oh, I know,” she said, sitting back in the chair Celestia had just occupied. “It’s just that I was so scared when you fell down. I knew it was all my fault and -”
“How is it your fault? You didn’t make me hit my head.”
“Well...ummm...the thing is…”
Through many apologies, Fluttershy told me of my surprising her last night by flying out of my bedroom door right into her upraised fist. I laughed so hard at the mental image of it all. She then went on to describe how she took care of me.
“Ha! Then there's nothing to blame! It sounds like I’m the one who punched myself in the face. I don’t see what you could have done differently. I have to thank you for taking care of me in my massive stupidity.” I suddenly stopped and tried to gather what few memories I had of that evening. Oh my, what did I say or do? “Did I, uh, act funny at all last night?”
“Oh, um, well, not exactly. That is, I mean, you did say something in your sleep, but I’m sure you were just dreaming.”
I think I was dreaming of her, if that was a dream.
“What did I say?”
“Oh, it’s not important.”
“Okay, if you say so.”
“Um, what were you dreaming about?”
“Well...uhh...If I was dreaming, I think it was about you taking care of me.”
“Me?”
“Yes, you.”
“Oh…” Her face started to turn rather red.
Ohhhh, shit.
“Fluttershy? What did I do?”
“Hmmm? Oh! Nothing!” Her face said it was definitely something.
Nothing?! I could have done anything! A dozen possibilities went through my head; all of them embarrassing, lewd, or somehow worse. My face started to get warm. What if I touched her? Oh God, don’t think about it! Oh shit, I’m still hard!
“Well... alright.”
At that moment, a nurse pony walked in carrying a clipboard. “Ah, I see our latest patient is doing very well! I’ve just come to see if he’s ready to check out!”
Thank you! Saved by the nurse!
“As soon as you get my clothes!” I said, too loud and too eager.
“You can come get them from the desk if you want.”
Oh, HELL, no!
“Umm, Fluttershy?” I said, as innocently as I could. “Would you please go get them for me? I really need to use the bathroom.” True enough.
“Sure.”
As soon as she left the room, I scrambled to the bathroom door. I went to the sink and turned on the coldest water, splashing myself in the face, rubbing it under my arms, anywhere to make this hardon go down! Eventually I felt myself return to normal, whatever that was from now on.
It’ll all be a new normal.
After pushing my drying hair back into place, I took a deep breath and stepped back out into my room. Fluttershy was just coming back in with my folded clothes and my shoes. She waited outside while I changed, and then a nurse met us in the hallway where I was sat in a wheelchair and then wheeled out of the hospital. Along the way I inquired of Fluttershy’s friends, and she told me they had been visiting Twilight Sparkle. She was doing well and there was no longer any danger, but the doctors weren’t sure when she’d wake up.
Finally, we got to the entrance and the nurse kindly waved us goodbye as we walked back to Ponyville. My mind still reeled with my conversation with Princess Celestia. Everything seemed so much bigger and stranger than before, yet even the Powers That Be seemed to be looking out for my best interests. I even had a task to perform; one which I didn't feel qualified to accomplish. I sighed in exasperation as well as relief to be free of the bed. Glancing over at Fluttershy, I gave an appreciative smile. At least I wasn't exactly alone. And the day was far from over.
What do you mean, "friend?"
Chapter 4) Surprisingly Friendly
It was nice to walk peacefully into the town, rather than the helter skelter run to the library. I smiled to see the shops, the carts, the people - ponies! - going about their daily lives. Most of the ponies on the street stopped to wave and greet us. Fluttershy seemed to know a good many of them about town. I was more surprised by how many came up to welcome me to their town, and didn't seem too weirded out by my appearance. I did notice a few lingering glances, but nopony made me feel like a freak.
One young mare came up to us saying, "So this is the stranger I’ve been hearing about!” She shook my hand warmly, eyeing me up and down. “I hope you like it here, however long you’re staying.” I thanked her and we continued on our way.
“Word can get around fast,” said Fluttershy. “Especially if Pinkie Pie is the one talking.”
“Hey, I’ve only talked with her for, like, five minutes and I believe it. How does she move so-?”
“She’s Pinkie Pie.”
“Right...Good...Glad she’s the cheerful one. I’d hate to see her down.”
“Well,” said Fluttershy, looking away. “It’s...interesting.”
“Oh.”
We continued on. Fluttershy pointed out a few places, walking me around in a tour of town. She showed me Rarity’s boutique, the Cafe Hey, Townhall, the beautiful park, the entrance to Sweet Apple Acres, the tea shop, and all sorts of little places. Fluttershy never gave much of a description, being content with “This is such and such,” but I came to expect this. I could see the self-consciousness in her, and I smiled, thanked her, and made sure I didn’t draw attention to it. I understood all too well. Finally she took me full circle to show me Sugarcube Corner, where Pinkie Pie worked with the Cakes.
“What kind of cakes?”
“Mr. and Mrs. Cake.”
“Ah. Should’ve seen that coming.”
“We, umm, we could go inside,” Fluttershy said, standing with her hands behind her and looking at the ground. “I’m sure it’s, uhh, very...nice . Inside, I mean.”
“You want to go in?”
“Hmmm? Oh no...I mean, yes. Yes, I think you - I - we should go. Inside.”
I chuckled. “Okay, okay, Fluttershy. You could just tell me you wanted to grab something sweet. It’s fine.”
“Oh. Yes. That’s right. I do need a...cake...cup.”
I smiled to myself as we walked in, but then I saw that all the lights were out.
“What the - ?”
“SURPRISE!”
“Gaaaaah!”
The lights flipped on, confetti and balloons flew through the air, and ponies seemed to be everywhere. I was dazzled by the colors of the decorations and even the ponies, themselves. In the middle flipped Pinkie Pie, dressed in party hat and blowing a kazoo. I was blown away. I’d never had a surprise birthday party, or a surprise anything before. My response was methodical and intellectual.
“But - wha -? How - uh - I - words - can’t - Why?”
“Because, silly, you haven’t ever had a party in Ponyville,” said Pinkie Pie, so matter-of-fact that I almost felt stupid. “What better way to start than to have a 'Welcome to Ponyville’ party and a ‘Welcome Back’ party at the same time! And besides, why wouldn’t I do this for a friend of Fluttershy’s? Any friend of hers is a friend of mine! Whooo!” And the pink mare hopped off to continue the festivities.
There was cake, cookies, cupcakes, confections carefully crafted for casual occasions; it was really something and I couldn’t believe anyone would do this for someone they hardly knew. I was still taken aback by Pinkie Pie calling me a “friend.” I had started working on a big slice of chocolate cake with strawberry filling when Fluttershy’s other friends crowded round to wish me well.
“But, really, why do this for me? I mean, look at this! The expense, I mean, you just met me...today, I think. It’s been a long day.”
“Aw, never you mind,” said Applejack, waving it off with her hand. “That’s just how we are in Ponyville. Always ready to greet you with a smile and a helpin' hand.”
“And a party!” added Pinkie Pie, somehow appearing in our midst as if from the ceiling.
Argh! She can teleport!
“Yes, that too,” nodded Applejack.
“It’s just...you have no idea what this means to me,” I said, shaking my head. “No one has ever done something like this for me.”
“Well, why ever not, darling?” Rarity said with a tilt of her head. “Giving is one of the best ways to show someone you care.”
“You care?” I replied.
“Well, of course we do!” she said with a smile and a flip of her hand. “You’ve been pulled right out of your home and you have to stay here with strangers, you poor dear. And Fluttershy clearly trusts you, and you’ve been nothing but gracious.”
“Yeah!” cried Pinkie Pie. “We can’t send you home, but we can perk up your day and put a smile on that face!” She reached out and put her thumbs on the corners of my mouth and “helped” me smile a bit bigger before giggling and running off to the next party goer.
“Hard luck, dude,” added Rainbow Dash, drink in hand. “No one likes to be taken far from home, and you’re really far from home. I mean -”
“Excuse me,” came a soft voice nearby.
“-that just stinks! Never to see your family again ! I’d probably be crying my eyes out-!”
“Um, please excuse me…”
“I can’t even believe you're taking it so well -” Rainbow felt a tap on her shoulder and turned to see Fluttershy politely standing beside her.
“- thank you, Rainbow, but I think Brendon needs to take his mind off those things.”
“Oh. Uh, right, sorry,” Rainbow scratched the back of her head and looked down. “Hey, we’re all here for you!”
“That’s right ,” added Applejack. “That’s what friends are for.”
“You mean, all of you, would make me your friend? Just like that?”
“But of course , darling!” said Rarity. “And speaking of which, you’ll need to stop by my boutique when this is over. I need to take some measurements to see about making you some new clothes. Can’t have you walking around in just those while you’re here, right?”
“Really? That’d be great!”
“Think nothing of it, dear. We’ll take care of you.”
Applejack nodded. “And you can count on the whole Apple family to help someone in need. You just stop by Sweet Apple Acres if you need anything.”
“And I’ll...uh…” said Rainbow Dash. “We’ll talk.” I couldn’t read the look on her face, but she gave me a big side hug and whispered in my ear, “I’ll see you later.” At that time I didn’t know why it sent chills down my spine.
“Umm, great !” I said. “It’s all so just...I can’t even…” I couldn’t keep the emotion out of my voice. I had to hold it in for a few more seconds or else I would break down. “Thank you…”
There was a silence where they all looked at me and simply smiled warmly. During this moment, Fluttershy came up and gently placed a hand on my shoulder.
“You’re most welcome, Brendon,” she said. “Thank you for being our friend, too.”
“Yeah...no problem…” I rubbed my eyes, and then clapped my hands together. “Alright! Let’s go have some fun !”
With that we went off into the party and enjoyed everything together. There was punch, games, a pinata, and more treats than I’d ever seen. Applejack showed me the ones she’d baked herself, and I couldn’t remember having any apple pie better than that. Pinkie pie occasionally shoved some treat or other in my mouth, to which I learned to just smile and nod a thank you. I shook hands with some locals, told them I'd remember their name, and then didn't. A few kept asking me about my world, and I soon had a little audience listening to stories of technology, cars, skyscrapers, handheld computers, and then I found myself hit with a barrage of questions on each of them. I tried to keep it simple, and when asked to go into detail I said that we'd probably be there all night and that I could tell them some other time, perhaps.
When my little group disbanded I realized I'd never see another TV show again. Never again would I play video games, surf the internet, or do any number of things I was used to. The immediate gratification was gone. Some of my primary stress relief: gone . The odd thing was I felt kind of relieved. I didn't have to go to my phone all the time. I could go out and be in the world. I had to. No hiding away.
At the same time, this scared a part of me that wanted to run away, needed to know there was a refuge that was mine, a corner where I could slink off to. And I hated that in such a fun time, with new friends (female friends ), one phrase boomed through my brain like a craving for water: No Porn.
"Umm, Brendon?"
I started. Fluttershy had somehow snuck up on me.
"Are you okay?"
"I, uh, I'm not sure. I think...I'm starting to realize what I'll never see again back home."
"Oh. I'm sorry. Is there anything I can do?"
"You know what? There is. Do you mind if we get out of here? I'd like to… I don't know…take a walk or something?"
She smiled. "That sounds nice." She motioned to her friends. I was glad we both had the same idea. I wanted to be around people (ponies?), just not a crowd.
Pinkie said she had to make sure everyone else had fun and to clean up afterward, but Rarity, Applejack, and Rainbow Dash smiled and came with us. They suggested we walk to the park, which was a beautiful spot. On the way, I tried to make small talk.
“Princess Celestia was talking with me, and mentioned that I could trust the ‘wielders of the elements.’ Do you know who she was talking about?”
Everyone burst out laughing. My face was a deer in the headlights.
“Oh, Ah’m mighty sorry,” said Applejack, wiping her eyes, “But that really was funny. You see: that’s us .”
“You wield the...elements ?”
“Well, not like fire and water, or something,” said Rainbow Dash. “We wield the Elements of Harmony.”
“What’re those?”
“Honesty,” said Applejack.
“Generosity,” said Rarity.
“Loyalty!” said Rainbow Dash.
“Um, kindness,” said Fluttershy.
“And the other two,” said Applejack, “Are wielded by Pinkie Pie and Twilight: laughter and magic!”
“I can guess which one is which,” I said, trying to take all this in. “What...what do they...do?”
They all launched into the story of how they all met and how they joined together to fight off Nightmare Moon, transforming her back into Princess Luna. I listened intently as we walked along the winding paths of the park. I was enthralled, even more so when they went on to share their experiences against Discord, god of Chaos.
“So, you’re, like, heroes ?”
“Well, Ah wouldn’t go that far,” said Applejack.
Rainbow crossed her arms and nodded. “No, that sounds about right.”
“And all of you have remained best friends?”
Rarity waved a hand casually. “Oh yes, darling, we’ve had all sorts of adventures!”
“Sheesh, you really have a lot of questions, don’t you?” said Rainbow Dash.
“Well of course he does, silly,” said Applejack. “He’s in a new world, new creatures, new everything!”
“And now,” added Fluttershy, “He has new friends.”
“Yeah…” I was silent for a little while. “Okay. Two last things.”
Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. “Oh fine. ”
“First off, you guys are awesome ! I mean really ! I’m...I guess I’m humbled to be standing next to all of you.”
Rainbow seemed taken aback by this, but then smiled, her ears perked up, and she gave me a side hug. I was amazed at the crushing strength of this skinny, athletic pony. “Aww, don’t you worry about it. We’re just doing what we do, like any pony would do. Except maybe awesomer.” She grinned.
“And what’s the second thing?” asked Fluttershy.
“Well, it’s what you said Fluttershy. That you’re all my friends. I mean, do you mean, like friends like you guys are friends?”
Applejack flicked an ear and looked at me in confusion. “Well, yeah, why?”
“But,” I said, trying to keep my voice level, “You don’t know me! I’m a stranger. For all you know, I might be a horrible person, or pony, whatever. You’d all just accept me among you, and let me in your lives...just like that?”
From the looks they gave me, I could tell they were more confused by my question than I was from their trust in me. Fluttershy stepped forward.
“Brendon, aren’t the humans of your world the same?”
“Well, I don’t know. Some probably are, it’s just...I’ve rarely experienced that. The majority of my kind seem to hold people at arm’s length until they think they can trust them. Maybe I’m wrong, and there’s a lot who would welcome me like you guys. But…”
“It’s okay.” Fluttershy stepped closer and touched my shoulder. “We care about you.”
“To me...that sounds too good to be true.” Then I realized what I said. “No, wait! I didn’t mean that! I believe you, I do , but this is...hard for me. I’m so used to being alone, and you’ve come along and just welcomed me in with open arms. This is probably the most new of all the new things I’ve seen here.”
“Well, you’ve got all the time in the world to think about it,” said Applejack, not unkindly.
“And, my goodness , look at the time!” exclaimed Rarity. “I’d better get you measured before it gets late! Come come! My boutique is right over here.” And she led me towards her merry little shop.
“If ya’ll don’t mind, Ah think Ah’ll mosey on home,” said Applejack with a wave.
“Ugh, me too. None of that sissy, dress up stuff.” Rainbow put her tongue out.
Fluttershy, head down, was twiddling her fingers as she looked up at me from her pink mane. “I’ll...uh...I’ll see you back at the house…? Brendon?”
I stopped and looked at her. “Really? You’d let me stay another night? Uh, sure ! I guess I'll see you back at your place. Goodnight everybody- I mean, everypony!”
All except Rarity wished me goodnight. I turned and walked into the boutique, muttering to myself on how I have got to get these new pronouns down. “Everypony. You ponies . A pony like you.”
Rarity politely opened her door and led me inside.
Author's Note
Well, this clearly is leading up to a boring story with absolutely no mix ups or bizarre interactions at all. Completely innocent times await our [hero?] in our next exciting chapter. *cue crickets in the background*
What do you mean, "friend?"
Inside Rarity's shop it was a simple, but clearly very nice, high fashion store. At least, that's what I thought. The highest experience I ever had for clothing was buying a suit, or renting a tuxedo for a wedding.
Just keep being awed by it, even though you know nothing about this. My God, this is so feminine. Everything here seems so feminine. My testosterone is being tested by bows, ribbons, and...froofyness.
As I was staring at everything, feeling my privates retract in self-defense, Rarity had taken off her jacket and came out in a sleeveless blouse, sporting a measuring tape around her neck. On her nose was a purple pair of glasses. All in all, I thought it made her look rather pretty, while at the same time being fully in her element. Her long legs and business skirt that stopped just above the knees didn't hurt either. Or her hourglass figure.
Thank God all the buttons on that blouse are staying in place. Whatever you do, don't look anywhere but her eyes!
I was a little startled by the little notepad and pencil hovering in the air next to her. There was a little glow around them which matched the glow around her horn. Putting two and two together, I gathered this must be an example of unicorn magic. I noticed that the pencil scribbled notes every now and then on the notepad, as though by itself.
Telekinesis?
She started giving me directions as she spoke. I was reminded a bit of a hair stylist.
"Now, darling, have you ever been measured before?"
"Only a few times, mostly for shows."
"Oh? What kind of shows?"
"I used to do plays a couple years ago, so we had to be measured for costumes in each one."
She clapped her hands in excitement. "An actor ! I bet you've done all kinds of wonderful roles. (Please stand right over there, by the mirrors.)"
"(Okay.) Well, I guess I did. It was a lot of fun. One day, maybe, I'd like to get back into it."
This is perfect. Just look at yourself in the mirror.
"Whatever made you stop, darling? (Stand just like this.)"
"(Oh. Sure.) It was...difficult to make a living. Plus I couldn't see myself doing it as a career. It's more of a passion."
"That's too bad, it's wonderful doing what you love. (Raise your hands please and don't move while I use the tape.)"
"(Uh, right.) Yeah, I bet it is."
I must have been unable to hide the expression on my face, as Rarity looked at me for a moment, her ears back. Her eyes travelled all the way up and down my body. Then her ears perked up and I saw a smile on her face, like she just thought of something.
"Reminds me a bit of Fluttershy. (Breath in for me please.) She used to be in show business."
My head did a double take. "What?! Fluttershy ?"
"Yes. She was a runway model for the famous photographer, Photo Finish. (Hold your arm out straight.)"
I laughed at the idea. Did Fluttershy have some hidden side to her? "Why…? How…?"
"It...it was me. I asked her to model so that my dresses would get noticed."
"Can't see why. You have amazing dresses here. She must be a good friend to put herself...out there like that."
"She is a good friend, though I felt sorry for how much she hated it. Do you want to see the photos?"
Something in my head misfired. I wanted to say: "Uh, I don't know." Instead I practically blurted out, "Sure!" I tried to cover it with a half laugh, like we would be looking at a friend's embarrassing moments.
"Oh good! It shows off my dresses perfectly ! Don't move." And with that she practically flounced away, and returned in a flash.
"Here we are!” And she opened a photo album.
It was exactly as I’d hoped/feared. Fluttershy looked stunning in a series of dresses. Most had a green theme to them, which, admittedly, complemented her a great deal. But the way she looked in them: elegant, graceful, and - dare I say it - sexy. Her legs were shown off in each one of them. More than a few gave just the right amount of cleavage. One that seemed to be all green silk, with a neck piece and headdress of flowers, was practically transparent. The dresses not only fit her figure perfectly, it seemed as if only Fluttershy could bring out the best in them.
You’re oggling them, say something to cover this up!
-No, shit, it’s worse! I won’t be able to cover up that!
“You...uh...you have amazing talent with making dresses.”
Rarity closed her eyes and gave a huge smile. Her teeth practically shown. “You really think so? Why, thank you! I’ve made dresses for each of my friends, specifically for them. It’s wonderful to give them something that I enjoy making, and can make them happy.”
“Oh, you gave them away? Those must be pretty expensive. I mean, that’s really generous of you.” I stopped and thought for a moment, both in seriousness and to keep my mind off the fact my pants seemed to be shrinking. “You’re an incredibly selfless mare, aren’t you? I mean, here you are, giving dresses to each of your friends, hand making them specifically for them and that’s really something. You’re a good mare, Rarity.”
Rarity turned her head away with a smile and lidded her eyes a bit. She couldn’t hide the blush behind her elegant hair. “Oh my word! You are a gentleman, aren’t you? Thank you so much for your kind words.” She looked at me, and I saw her tail swish back and forth for a moment in which she seemed at a loss for words.
What does that tail...thing...mean?
“Well, where were we? I almost forgot where I was about to measure!”
Shit, goddamn, son of -
“My...my waist.”
“Oh! Silly me!” And with that she dropped down and began taking the tape around my midsection. “Now hold still while I -”
It happened.
Stopping in mid sentence, I knew there was no way she mistook what she had put her hand on. She pulled away with a tiny gasp, but not before she had practically put her whole hand directly on my manhood. She looked up at me, a little red in the face. I continued staring in the mirror, my whole face completely red. I tried to read her expression from my odd vantage point, but I couldn’t have if my life depended on it.
She gave a small clearing of her throat and then tried to continue with some dignity. “Umm...let’s try from this angle.” And she finished measuring with her hands elsewhere. Of course she still had to do my legs and measure the crotch for my pants. I knew what that meant.
She paused and looked at my legs as though trying to strategize her next move. I saw her eyes dart to my crotch for a moment, and her tail swished again - brief but faster than before.
Just hope we can get through this without being awkward. Just act like nothing happened.
She put the tape to one leg and measured from the ankle to my crotch. No problem. She hesitated at the next leg, took the tape, and then slowly drew it up my pants. Just as she was reaching up, she seemed to titter on her legs, like she was going to fall.
“Oops! Clumsy me!” And with that she grabbed hold of me for support to steady herself. It only lasted a few seconds, but in those few seconds her hand went right back to where my hardon was, and she seemed to be getting a much better feel for it. And her hand lingered much longer than before. It had not gotten any smaller. Smaller was not my problem. I felt her tail almost curling around one of my legs.
She finished doing that leg and then quickly did my feet. I thought I noticed a difference in her breathing as she stood up, like she had lifted something heavy. Was she panting? I watched her write down some numbers and then she seemed to go over the figures on her notepad intently. She kept rubbing a hand through her hair and glancing up at me, as though making up her mind about something. Her tail swished again after a pause.
“I - uh - I’m not sure if I got all these measurements done correctly. I...I think I need to do them again. Just to be sure.” She smiled at me, trying to sound casual, but my flags were being raised.
That’s not the only thing that's being r -
-Shut up!
“Are...you...sure ?” I tried not to sound nervous.
“Oh, it won’t take a moment, darling. Just stand right where you are.” She quickly came back to me, her attitude saying she would have no argument.
It was obvious that this time she was much, much closer to me as she took those measurements. She was making sure that, whenever possible, her body would be against mine. When she took measurements for my arms, her head was practically against my chest, her tail swishing around, going up my legs and in between them. When she took the measurements for my neck she was right behind me, and I could feel the slight panting in her breath as she pressed herself against me. There was no mistaking her breasts against my back. My pants became extremely tight. I also noticed a smell. It was in her breath, but also all around her. Like a musk, or something. It was heady and it did not improve my attempts at calming down. It was having quite the opposite effect on me.
My mind filled with the desire to take Rarity in my arms and kiss her. I wanted to feel her body against me, her hair all around me, pull her leg up and feel that beautiful ass. I wanted to hear her moan and make her writhe.
Suddenly she was in front of me, and I realized that I must have zoned out for a second. What the hell was that? She was getting on her knees to check my waist again, but this time she was doing it slowly and deliberately. I saw that a few buttons of her blouse had come undone. As she crawled towards me, two soft scoops of the most beautiful vanilla peaked out at me, jiggling as she moved. It seemed that she had no bra underneath, and her nipples were clearly poking through the fabric.
When did that happen?
-May day! May day! Pull out!
Heh, pull out.
-Shut up! This is happening!
It was almost overwhelming, this desire to feel the softness of those breasts in my hands, to kiss them and fondle them, and rip the clothes off her body.
My body, meanwhile, was trembling, and part of me felt angry. I hated not feeling in control of myself - one reason I didn't like getting drunk. This was wrong. But it would feel so good. But this wasn't me. But it could be, and I felt so strong ! Somehow I managed to say, “I really, really think you did a good enough job of measuring. I should go. Now. Right now. Please.”
She looked up at me, and her eyes seemed very different. They had a far off look, and while she tried to put on the mask of “I’m just doing this for my job,” there was no hiding a kind of girlish giddiness in her. I couldn't help but feel that this was all my fault.
“No, don’t worry darling. Just because it’s my time of the month doesn’t mean I can’t have a stallion here, in front of me.”
Time of the month? What the FUCK does that mean?
“A stallion whose strong, a gentleman, and...huge ." She eyed my pants. "Was that for me ? Was that because of me ? I am so flattered, Brendon. I need...to measure it. For the clothes, of course. Please -”
“Nope. Nope. I need to go. Really."
My body kept fighting me, and now Rarity's face was inches from my crotch. I knew I had to run, but I also so wanted to see what she'd do next. She pushed her face against my pants and sniffed deeply. She sighed and reached up with both hands, grabbing whatever she could find and pulling herself up to where she was looking right into my eyes. I was paralyzed. She slipped one hand behind my neck and started running it through my hair, while her other hand found the top of my pants. Her fingers grazed my skin, enticing me. They were so close, and the little fuzziness of them was incredible. Just a little lower. Then there'd be no going back.
We were practically nose to nose, her eyes lidded as they stared into mine. She was biting her lower lip, her hips were swaying, and her tail was wrapped around one of my legs. It was all I could do not to touch her, to take her. But I couldn't.
It's not right. This isn't her.
"Brendon," she practically breathed the word, and her breath made my brain want to shut off and let my body take command. She tugged at my pants as she spoke. "Do you want me to take these off? They're so...constricting. You should let this…" -here she actually reached in and touched the head of my cock, tracing a line around the head with her finger- "...breathe a little." Then she reached down with exploring fingers and wrapped them around the base of my shaft. They slowly slid all the way up, her finger tips lingering on the head as they felt every inch before she teased me by leaving nothing but her index finger which continued to circle in agonizing slowness.
The breath caught in my throat, my mouth hung open. I was about to explode in my pants. For a second, I could see nothing. Then Rarity swam back into focus, fluttering her eyelashes at me. I saw her horn sparkle and I heard my zipper slowly being drawn down. Almost all struggle was gone.
Almost.
Don't do this to her. You don't know what's going on but don't do this to her!
"Sorry!” I blurted out, almost in a scream, and with that I broke away and sprinted for the door. Suddenly I saw a twinkle on the door and heard a latch click into place. Without breaking stride, I barrelled towards the door and smashed into it. I was more surprised than anyone as it gave way to my shoulder. Never would I have imagined I was that strong. I turned my head back at the last second and shouted a hurried, “Thank you, anyway!”
Damn it, I meant for the measurements, not the groping and wanting to jump me. Of course that’s how she’ll probably take it.
-That's how she wants to take you.
Not now.
As I was running out I could faintly hear her cry, “Please? Please, I’m sorry! Come back, Brendon! I only want to see how big you are!”
“What got into that crazy mare? And what did I do ?" I panted as I kept on running, fearing she would tear after me like a hound seeking its prey. “And which way do I go?”
After perhaps a hundred yards, I stopped to get my bearings, glancing around wildly for landmarks I recognized. I heard a sound and turned around fast. There stood Rarity, her hair a little frizzy, her breasts bouncing in her blouse, with a look of unbridled (Ha! Bridle!) desire etched on her face. I felt awful at the thought that I had somehow done this to her. I made her into a lunatic!
Quick! Distract her!
I talked fast. “Now Rarity, make sure these measurements are only for casual clothes as I really have no time for balls and dances I would like some jeans if you ponies have that sort of thing and you can do button downs or regular shirts I’m not particular and briefs not boxers PLEASE not boxers I need my underwear tight not loose and -”
“Oh, I bet you need them tight to hold in that big -”
“But I’ll leave you to it! Bye!”
I took off as fast as I could. Probably faster. As the edges of Ponyville rushed past, I was a bit taken aback with how fast I was running. I hadn’t seriously run in almost ten years. What was this?
A damn good thing! Don’t stop until you get to Fluttershy’s.
I didn’t. I’ll never know when I lost Rarity, or even if she ran after me the second time, but there was no one over my shoulder when I finally got to within sight of Fluttershy’s cottage.
“Sanctuary!” I said, trying not to scream. I ran and skidded to a halt outside the door. After panting for a bit, hands on my knees, I straightened up, brushed my hands through my hair, and tried to look at normal as possible.
No one needs to know anything!
-Like how you fucked up Rarity?
What did I do? It's all my fault.
-Is it? How so?
Doesn't matter. I screw everything up in the end.
-This isn't helping me!
Deep breath.
I inhaled deeply, let it out slow, and then I knocked. A minute passed. Nothing. I knocked again. Nothing. I looked around, trying to act casual, even though there was no one to see me. So I knocked a third time. I was getting nervous, and kept staring back down the path I'd come.
"Oh, screw this!" I opened the door and went inside. I found no one. Realizing I was really alone, I closed the door behind me, leaned my back against it, and slid down to the floor. I rubbed my palms on my temples.
"No. Oh no, oh no, oh no." I laid my head on my knees. How had I done this? Somehow I corrupted somepony that was just trying to help me. I turned her into some kind of sex crazed...thing . Everything here seemed so bright, so neat, so innocent , and I'd tainted it.
In that moment it seemed as though all of Equestria had been darkened by my actions, and I couldn't see how it would ever be better again.
Author's Note
Phew! That was a furious week of publishing. I can't promise this breakneck speed for much longer, but I'm proofreading the new stuff I write while I'm putting up the older (for me at least) and hopefully I can keep this up.
(Keep it up? Oh my GOD how'd I type that accidentally?!)
Hope ya'll like it so far. More to come. (no, not that way)
What do you mean, "friend?"
Chapter 6) Tea, Truth, and Threats
As I sat there against Fluttershy's door, I tried to envision the cause of it all. How? Had I wanted that to happen? Well, she was hot. Had I thought that before? No I'd never made the conscious thought that I was honestly attracted to a member of a different species.
-But you have been. For a while now.
Nope! We are not going there! I've been here a day! I have no meds. I'm just trying to seek some kind of release. Something I can use to run away from this moment.
-You mean the Fact
-That you
-Are
-Alone?
Feeling like a child and hating myself for tearing up at that moment, I did not expect to hear Fluttershy call out from another room: "Brendon? Hello? I thought I heard someone?"
*sniff*
"Yeah, sorry. No one answered the door so I let myself in."
"That's alright. I was just feeding the chickens out back. Would you like something to drink?"
"Uh, water please. Actually something stronger. Tea, perhaps?"
"I'll put the kettle on."
"Thanks."
"Did everything go alright with Rarity?"
"Well...she was very…thorough."
"Oh yes, she is so good at her job. I can't wait to see what she makes you. By the way, do you want me to come to you or do you want to come to the kitchen?"
Apparently,without realizing it, I hadn't moved an inch. I slowly got up and walked to the kitchen, sitting at the little table. The setting sun came in through the window, giving everything a melancholy look to it. At least that's all my biased eyes could see.
Fluttershy saw something else in my face. She walked over and sat down next to me.
"Oh my goodness, Brendon! What's wrong?"
I was about to open my mouth to confess what a horrible person I was, what I'd turned her friend into, when an idea came to me. Maybe it was the calm atmosphere, or just looking at Fluttershy, but instead of ripping myself to pieces I suddenly remembered something Rarity had said.
"Ummm...the women from my world have a certain time of the month where...their bodies change a little bit. It has to do with having children. Is there...something like that which happens to ponies?"
Fluttershy looked at me in astonishment. Her ears went back, and then she got a look on her face. Like something clicked. She quickly stood up and went to a calendar on the wall. Her ears pricked up, she put her hand to her chest, looked at me, looked at the calendar, then back and forth again, and exclaimed: "Oh no! Rarity's in heat today!"
"What do you mean 'In heat?' What's that?"
"But that makes no sense that she'd...or that you'd...Oh no! Did she-?! Did you-?! Oh no!" Fluttershy looked like she was going to panic, and I could swear her face had the look of somepony losing something she couldn't get back. Her hands were cupping the sides of her face in an agony of distress.
How am I so good at reading faces?
-Counseling classes. Maybe.
What would she think she'd lose?
-You know nothing.
"Hold up! Hold up! Why don't I tell you what happened before we start jumping to conclusions!"
"Oh. You're right." Fluttershy took a moment and composed herself, ran a hand through her mane, smoothed out her skirt, took a deep breath, and sat back down.
I then explained how I had arrived at the boutique, Rarity was taking measurements, she started acting funny, there was a smell, and then things got bad. I left out the graphic details as well as the part about the pictures and the raging hardon.
"...so then I sprinted as fast as I could and came back here."
"Oh. Was that all?"
"Well, apart from some unimportant details. Why?"
"Well when a mare goes into heat, about once a month, nothing may really happen. She can become much more...umm…’enthralled’ by a stallion but only if he really catches her interest. Then she can get rather...umm…heated. And she produces a smell that is meant to drive stallions crazy, but they don't always. I can't imagine what would have caused such a stir in her."
"Uhhhh…"
"...yes?" Fluttershy looked at me with huge puppy dog eyes. I took a deep breath.
"When Rarity was measuring my waist...she…(oh God)...she may have put her hand on my...on my…"
"-oh!" Fluttershy sat bolt upright, her tail and mane frizzing out for just a second. There was a pause and her tail swished back and forth until she caught it and held it in place.
One day I'll get what that means.
“Oh, I see. That might do it. Especially if...uhhh…you had an...”
“Yeah, well, she ended up coming back to...feel...Oh God! I’m sorry, I can’t keep talking about this!”
"So…" she said, speaking slowly, "Were you thinking about her? Was that why you were-?"
"What?! No! Not at all!"
"Then why…?"
"I was thinking about some...thing else."
Shit! You almost said some pony!
"Oh."
"Yeah...so...I'm glad to know it wasn't my fault." I exhaled and felt my shoulders suddenly relax. I didn't know I was holding in all that tension.
Fluttershy shook her head. "Oh no, of course not."
I coughed nervously. I wanted to change the subject.
"You know, before she got all...heated, Rarity did tell me that you posed as a model? For a little while?"
"What? She told you that?" Fluttershy blushed and tried to hide in her mane again. The sight was taking a battering ram to my inner bastion against cuteness. "Did...did she show you the...pictures?" Her voice kept getting softer and softer until the word "pictures" came out as a tiny whisper.
Before the self-defense part of my brain could yell at my mouth to stop, I said, "Oh, yeah she did. They were great!"
Shit! Fuck! Damnation! Stupid piece of-
Fluttershy immediately perked up again. "You really thought so? It was so embarrassing. I'm...I'm glad you liked the dresses."
I grabbed onto that sentence like a life preserver. "Oh yeah , the dresses were really impressive! Rarity really has talent!" I felt like laughing hysterically.
Fluttershy suddenly looked up and stuck a finger under her chin. Her forehead furrowed.
"And...you saw these before Rarity measured your -?"
I jumped as the kettle screamed on the stove. I expected Fluttershy to get up but she hadn’t moved. She slowly turned her head towards me and then looked at me square in the face. Her lips were moving but no sound came out. Her tail would not stop swishing after she had let it go with limp fingers. I saw a flush come into her cheeks and slowly spread across her face. She kept on looking at me, like she was staring into my soul, or perhaps couldn’t believe what she was looking at.
A big, stupid pervert.
-Ho yeah, he’s big!
Shut up!
The kettle kept screaming.
“Uh, Fluttershy?”
I saw her mouth still moving silently.
“Fluttershy?”
“Yes?” It was so faint, I almost didn’t hear it.
“Fluttershy?”
“Yes, Brendon?” There was something in her voice, a soft intensity. She put a hand on the table and leaned forward, a look of expectation on her face. I looked down at my own hand on the table, a few inches from hers, then looked in her eyes.
“Umm...the kettle?”
“What? Oh my!” She started up. “I’m sorry. I’ll get that.”
“Sure. No problem.”
It’s all there. I’m just missing something. If I put it all together I’ll get it.
There was that nagging feeling in the back of my head again. Some realization was on the cusp of coming to life. All I had to do was sort the pieces and figure out what I was missing, and then it would all make sense. But what was it? What was it?
I leaned my head in my hand, putting my elbow on the table as I watched Fluttershy make the tea.
The tail. Why does it do that?
-It happened a few times.
When Fluttershy first saw you.
-When you held her hand in that awkward moment in the woods.
Especially when she ran and hugged you in the hospital and she wouldn’t let go
-When you complemented Rarity.
After Rarity touched your dick and her tail kept going more and more from there.
-When you told Fluttershy what Rarity had touched.
Just now when she was contemplating whether you had seen her pictures before you got a raging erection.
-She doesn’t know it was raging!
Oh no.
-Oh yes.
Oh no.
-Oh Yes! It means the pony likes you!
Or likes what you said.
-Or likes the thought that you got hard and then even more that you got hard for her.
Oooooooooooh. I am so STUPID!
This took about five seconds, and when it was done I felt like the biggest idiot in the world, while at the same time my brain was bursting with some feeling of relief and wonderful astonishment. It was like I’d seen the clouds part for a second, and sunlight came down. I couldn’t get all of it, but what I got made me smile softly. It seemed like a smile I'd forgotten how to make.
Fluttershy put two cups and saucers down and a teapot. I kept looking at the table, unaware of how I looked as I smiled to myself. Fluttershy poured the tea in silence. I didn’t look up at her until she sat down and picked up her own cup and gingerly sipped it. I picked up my own cup in silence. It suddenly seemed the most interesting, and safe, thing to look at.
“What are you thinking about?” she said.
“Hmm? Oh...” Test the waters. Do you really know? Even now, doubt ate at me. It was as though I refused to swim without a life preserver. “I was wondering what it was you were going to say before the kettle went off.”
“Oh my. Excuse me, I forgot for a moment…”
I sipped my tea.
“Well, I was thinking about what you said last night in your sleep.”
Spit take!
“Ugh! S-sorry, what?" I got up and looked for a towel to wipe down my mess. Finding a small cloth, I started on the table.
Oh, right, she did say something about talking in my sleep. Oh no, oh no, oh no...
"I, uh...I said something last night?”
“Oh? No. I mean, yes. Yes you did. You...you said…” She kept one eye on me as she turned away and tried to hide herself in her mane. “You said (mumble mumble).”
“What?”
“You said…(mumble mumble).”
I looked up from my task. “Fluttershy?”
She whispered so soft I only heard a small squeak come out.
“It’s...it’s okay, Fluttershy. You can tell me another time.” I tried to smile reassuringly, then got down to wipe the floor. I found myself wiping around her hooves. Glancing up, I could see her legs peeking out from her skirt. Immediately I blushed, as I was in a horrid/perfect angle to see up her legs. I turned back to the floor, finished quickly, then got back in my chair.
Stop thinking about it. When have I been a panty peeker? What is this world doing to me?
The tea was strong, but smooth. We sipped at it in awkward silence. I couldn’t stand the quiet, and I was beginning to fear what my thoughts might fill it with.
“I’m...I’m sorry if I said something awful, Fluttershy. You’ve been a great host and...I hate the thought of doing something to hurt you. Or any of your friends. Everyone has just been...so nice. Especially you.”
“...beautiful.” Fluttershy’s voice was a tiny whisper.
“...What?”
“You said...that I was so beautiful.”
If my eyes got any bigger, they’d fall out of my head. I opened my mouth, shut it again, and then my brain partly shut down.
Error! Cannot detect keyboard. Please press F1 to continue.
Fluttershy’s chin was down, her hands were in her lap, and she was staring at me with her pretty, blue eyes. No not quite blue. Wish I was an art major, then I’d know what it was. She looked hopeful and vulnerable at the same time.
“Did you...did you mean it?” Her tail moved again, just for a second. “Do you...do you think I’m beautiful?”
Denying the truth would be the worst thing you could do to her. Man up and face whatever comes next.
-Dude, you’re fucked.
Why? Why can't I believe I won't be rejected? Why am I still so afraid?
“Well, yes. Yes, of course I think you’re beautiful.”
“You mean...for a pony?” Still there was that hope in her face, but so unsure.
“...well, no. Even compared to what’s in my world, you’re still beautiful.”
“Oh...th-thank you. That’s very...nice of you to say.” There went the tail again. But more importantly, the smile on her face was...well, it shown.
Under her gaze, I scratched the back of my head and smiled nervously. “You’re, uh, you’re welcome. I’m just speaking the truth. Even without seeing those photos, I knew you were beautiful.”
For the first time, I saw Fluttershy look amused. An eyebrow went up and she leaned on an elbow, cupping her chin in her hand.
“And...when you saw the photos?”
I tried not to squirm under her gaze. Was that a knowing look on her face?
“I was...I was stunned! You were gorgeous, elegant and...I, uh, I…”
“Yes ?” A smirk! I saw it! She’s enjoying this!
And I got hard! You were smoking hot! I wanted to see more! How could anyone not think you amazing? What the hell is wrong with me that I’m thinking this of someone who isn’t even my own kind?
"And I...I...I…" I sighed and hung my head. "I'm sorry, this isn't easy for me, it's a bit -"
"Hard?"
"-well, yeah it is -"
I stopped, realizing what I said. I looked up at Fluttershy. Did she guess everything? A smile crept, unbidden, into my face as I tried to hold back a laugh.
What’s gotten into her? Where did this side of her come from?
The moment lasted for only a few seconds, then Fluttershy’s ears went back, and the old look came into her eyes.
“Was...was that a ‘good one?’”
If you laugh, she might take it the wrong way.
Taking a moment to control myself, I looked at her - maybe with pride, perhaps with admiration - and said: “Yeah. Yeah it was. A real good one.”
“Oh good. Thank you.”
“Ho no, thank you .”
“So...was I right?”
“Hmmm?” I was drinking my tea.
“That it was hard?”
“Ulp!”
Drink it! Drink the damn tea and swallow it! You will not spit it out.
-And for your information, Miss fluttershy, it's not that it was hard. Now it is again.
Thanks for bringing it up.
-Ha! Good one!
“Heh, you might never find out.”
“Oh, that’s alright. Do you want to go for a walk? It’s lovely outside.”
“In a minute.”
“Oh, okay.”
We kept sitting there, drinking our tea. I started taking very small sips.
“We can always make more tea,” she said innocently. “And the sun is going down.”
“Please, just let me finish this cup.”
“That’s fine. Would you mind dumping out the teapot and putting it in the sink? I’ll do a quick clean up before we go.”
“Uh, you mean get up?”
“...yes?”
“From the table?”
“Mmmhmmm.”
Okay, do some quick adjustments under the table. Move the underwear there, untuck the shirt here, bounce the leg for a test run. We might make it.
“Sure!” I gulped down the rest of the tea, grabbed the teapot, turned quickly as I stood up and made my way to the sink. Fluttershy collected the cups and saucers, and started the water running. I was trying to reach around her to dump out the tea when she turned right into me and we collided gently. Collided in just the right way. There was no misunderstanding what we both felt.
She smells so nice.
I heard an, “Eep!” and Fluttershy turned around quickly. She stood stock still.
There was an awkward pause.
Solution! As in come up with one!
“Well, uh, we'd better head out before the sun gets any lower.”
Fluttershy peered a bit over her shoulder and nodded. “Mmm.”
“Anything wrong?”
Shake of the head. “Mmm mmm.”
“Alright. Let’s go.”
“Squeak. ”
I’ll take that as an extremely timid yes.
I opened the back door and went outside first. Fluttershy came after. Wind was blowing through the trees, and it felt nice. All of it was very cooling after the warm afternoon.
And it’s working. Ahhhhh.
-So let’s go on as though nothing happened just now.
Eventually, I was able to end he awkward silence when I asked Fluttershy about her chickens. She brightened up immediately. She told me everything I needed to know about her chickens, even their morning habits, favorite feed, their friendship circles, and escape attempts. I asked where there was a nice place to walk and she led me down a little path on the outskirts of the forest. The sun was not quite at the horizon, the wind was blowing in our hair/mane, and it was lovely. We stood on the crest of a hill and just took it in.
“You know,” I said, breaking the silence, “I always liked windy days.”
“Really? Why is that?”
“I don’t know. It feels like anything can happen. Like an epic moment is right around the corner.”
“Epic?”
“You know, like that great part in a story where the hero turns everything around, or the cavalry - uhhh - I mean, all his friends arrive to help him out. Here’s where the adventure starts, or this is when the best scene happens.”
“Oh, wow. I never thought of it like that. I just like the way it feels.”
I wanted to run across the hills, I wanted to climb the nearest tree and peak out over the tops of the forest, I wanted to fall backwards and sigh at the sky, crying out how great it was to be alive!
But you won’t do any of those things. And you’re too self-conscious to yell something out. It’s only in private. In the little moments. When there’s little to risk. Then you do something.
“Fluttershy.”
“Yes?”
-You won’t say it.
“If...if I’ve done anything wrong, or if I’ve...made you uncomfortable, I’m really sorry.”
-Told you.
She turned to me quizzically, then looked down and smiled softly. “Anything wrong? No, Brendon, I can’t think of anything that you need to be sorry about.”
“It’s just that...this place, the air...it’s having this odd effect on me. I’ve got all this...energy . I ran faster than I ever run in my life today. And I feel like I could do it again. I feel almost like a kid again. It’s your world . I wish I knew how to describe it.”
“Is...is that the only thing that’s making you feel this way?”
“What?”
“Is it just Equestria?”
She was staring at the grass, but it was obvious there was a deeper question in her eyes. Her mane was blowing softly in the breeze, and her skirt rustled around her legs. She was really...something.
Do it .
“I think...I think we both know that’s not true.”
Fluttershy’s head never moved. But a tiny flush came into her cheeks, and her tail wiggled in the breeze ever so slightly.
“I’m...I’m very glad to hear that.”
We both gazed off at the sunset, each smiling our own private smile, and perhaps both were for the same feeling. I almost didn’t want to look at her, for fear of ruining this moment. We both watched something streak across the sky.
Oh look, a rainbow - oh! It’s her...
Rainbow Dash came flying down fast, landing perfectly on both hooves beside us. She was wearing the same tight black shorts and top with a small backpack over her shoulders.
“Hey, you two! How’d you like the clear sky I rustled up?”
Fluttershy waved. “Oh yes, it’s very nice. Thank you, Rainbow Dash.”
“Huh? You made the sky clear?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.
The psychedelic pony stretched her arms out, like she had just done some heavy lifting. “Yep! I move the clouds around for the ponies in Ponyville.”
“What? Really?! That’s awesome!”
“Aw, go on! You give way too many complements.”
Fluttershy closed her eyes and smiled. “Oh yes, he’s very good at that.”
Rainbow grinned. “Actually I changed my mind, keep ‘em coming! By the way! I got a message for you.”
I blinked. “Me?”
“Yep. It’s private.”
Fluttershy began to walk away. “Oh, I’d better go.”
Rainbow waved at her nonchalantly. “It’s okay, Fluttershy! I got this!”
Quick as a flash, I felt strong hands reach around and grab me under the arms. Suddenly I was rocketed off the ground and shot off towards the forest, about a hundred yards away. Rainbow dropped me with little ceremony under a tree and then leaned her back against it, one leg bent at the knee.
“Ugh! Wonderful landing. So, what’s this message?”
Rainbow held up two fingers. “Hold up, newbie, I got two things to talk to you about. First is a message from Rarity.”
Future generations should be impressed that I did not, in fact, shit a brick.
“R-r-r-rarity?”
“Yep.”
“What’s the second thing?”
“We’ll get to that. Rarity sends you this message,” and she pulled out a piece of paper and gave her best Rarity impression, “I’m really very sorry for what happened. I feel just terrible about it and wish I could make it up to you. Here’s your first set of clothes, I made them as fast as I could. Had to get a little energy out, as you can understand. Please don’t be afraid to come back, I promise it won’t happen again. Yours truly, Rarity.”
Rainbow took off the backpack and handed it to me. I took it in silence, my face all apprehension at what this mare knew about my encounter with the unstable unicorn.
“By the way, Rarity told me everything.”
Shit! I’m dead! I’m so dead! They’ll never find my body!
Suddenly Rainbow’s face burst into a huge smile. “And I have to say, I’m impressed !” She slapped me on the back, nearly knocking me over. “How’d you resist that mare in full heat? There are stallions who would sell their mothers for even a date with Rarity!”
Oh thank God!
-It’s a trick! Don’t give in!
Shut up!
I sagged with relief, unable to hide it one bit. Nervously, I smiled and scratched the back of my head.
“Yeah, well, it wasn’t easy.”
“You mean it was...hard ?” And Rainbow slapped her knee with laughter.
“Yeah, that joke’s been made already.”
“Really? By who?”
“Nevermind. So Rarity is...okay?”
“Well, she’s exhausted and now is more impressed with you than ever. Said you were quite the sweet talker.”
“Did...did she say anything else?”
Rainbow smirked. “Ohhhhh maaayyyybe.”
“Oh great.”
“Don’t you worry about a thing. Yet.”
Eep.
“So tell me, why’d you do it? Or not do it?”
“I...I couldn’t . Well, that’s not true, I mean I could but...she wasn’t herself. And I don’t feel that way about her. And even if I did, I don’t know...I’d need to know it wasn’t just because of some kind of...funk she was in.”
“Well, you set her off something fierce , that’s all I can say.” She glanced at me sideways and narrowed her eyes. “What was it like?”
Who knows what possessed me, but I had to get this out of my system.
“What was it like ? Seeing a gorgeous woman - pony , whatever the hell it is - ready to do...anything to me? I mean looking like -” I gritted my teeth “-like that - and sounding like - oh God - and that smell, I mean, Jesus fucking Christ , I wanted it so bad but I just couldn’t do it! Mother fucking, piece of goddamn-”
“Whoa! Whoa! I get it! (Kind of.) And by the way, I didn’t even get half the curses you just used! And for what it’s worth,” she grinned, “I am sorry. Walking away from that must have stunk.”
“It did. It really did.”
But, oh! to smell that stink again!
I closed my eyes, shrugged, and sighed. “So, what’s the second thing?”
Before I could open my eyes, something hit me in the chest, hard, and I found myself pinned to a nearby tree. Rainbow dash was holding me by the scruff of my shirt with both hands. She seemed amused at my wide-eyed terror.
Strangely enough, her voice was not threatening.
“Okay, baldy. Fluttershy is my oldest friend. You’re a stallion. You’re in her house. If anything bad happens to her, I’ll fly you off to a volcano and drop you in!”
My face was sweating profusely but I still tried to smile. “Oh right, you’re loyalty.”
“You bet your bald face, I am.”
“I swear I haven’t done anything to her -”
“Duh! But what if you have plans for that innocent little mare back there?”
“I’d never! She’s been so kind to me. I’d never do anything to hurt her. She’s too wonderful a pony -”
“Yeah, yeah, stop being all weepy on me. Fluttershy vouches for you, and that whole thing with Rarity shows you have some good stuff in you…”
She put me down.
“...but what kind of friend would I be if I didn’ t threaten to kill you?”
-Then eat you -
Shut up!
I bent double, rubbing my chest, trying to remember how to breathe.
“I...got it. Okay. No worries.”
Rainbow smiled sweetly and tilted her head to one side.
“Good!”
Before I could even stand up right, Rainbow snagged me again in the blink of an eye, and I found myself crashing down beside an astounded Fluttershy on the green grass.
“Oh my! Are you alright!”
I spoke through gritted teeth. “Sure. Fine. Never better. Hey Rainbow, thanks for the advice, and the clothes.”
“Oh that reminds me, you dropped this.” And Rainbow tossed the backpack at me. Somehow I caught it.
She leaned in, real close, and whispered: “Hey, you should be a delivery pony..."
I blinked at her in confusion.
"...since you have such a large package .” She was grinning ear to ear as she stood back up.
My face burned. Rainbow stood up straight, said good-bye, and then was suddenly a brightly colored line across the sky.
“What was that ?” asked Fluttershy.
“Rarity apologized and sent clothes. And Rainbow proved she was a real good friend to you.”
“Excuse me?”
*Fwump!*
“I think I'll just lay down here. The sky is very pretty.”
“Oh, really? Well, that does sound very nice.” I could hear the smile in her voice. Was it amusement?
I heard a sound and looked back (or I guess, up, given where my head was) and saw a mass of pink hair a few inches from me. I gulped.
She’s right there!
I slowly looked back at the sky. Birds were chirping overhead. The wind blew across my body. All was peace and calm. I just needed my heart to follow suit.
Who knows how long we lay there like that. Eventually some clouds did float into view and we started calling out shapes to each other. One looked like a heart and Fluttershy called out that it looked like the Crystal Heart, which brought up a whole other conversation. The world got a little bit bigger for me.
When I pointed to a cloud that looked like an airplane, Fluttershy became curious and I told the story of the first time I remembered flying with my family. This led to a conversation about my family. As I was sharing happy memories of a faraway childhood, a melancholy smile was on my face. Tears threatened but I held them back.
"It's odd," I said. "It all seems so close since I left it just yesterday, and yet my whole world seems like it was years ago. It's so far away. I mean, it's far in every sense of the word. Am I making sense?"
"I think I understand," came Fluttershy's tender voice. "You must miss it all so much. I'm so very sorry for what you've lost, Brendon."
I turned and saw Fluttershy's face looking at me, and it seemed like she was about to cry. It struck me deep. I remembered a much younger me, going through great pains of youth, wishing there was someone who would weep for him; someone who saw all that he went through and wept with him. A childlike thought; nonsense really. But here it was.
My tears began to flow freely. My lips trembled. Quietly, a soft, fuzzy hand slipped into mine. I felt it squeeze as Fluttershy's face softened.
Her eyes were shining sympathy and her hand was calm comfort.
All I could do was nod and stare, unsure of what I should say or do. I squeezed that gentle hand, revelling in the different texture of it while I gazed back at her.
I've lost...everything.
-And yet…
Before I completely lost myself in those eyes, Fluttershy turned them up to the heavens.
“It sure is beautiful here.”
“Yeah. It really is.”
Eventually I looked up as well, my tears turning the sky into a blur of blue, orange, yellow, and white as the setting sun splashed its colors across the sky. I just silently wept and smiled at the wonder of it all. A new world, impossible loss, blossoming new friendship, and a hint at something more. And in the midst of it all, still the whisper of a dark pit of my mind into which I feared to fall.
We lay there in silence, letting the music of the wind and the chirping birds wash over us.
Eventually, I don’t know when, I slowly felt my eyes get tired.
Just a few seconds. A power nap. For ten seconds. I’ll wake up.
I woke up.
It was not ten seconds later.
Author's Note
Time to leave you all in suspense (or repose as they're lying down?). A further update will happen in the near future.
Speaking of which.
What am I doing? What the HELL am I doing? Someone tell me to stop this breakneck speed! But I just can't HELP myself. I want to know what's going to happen almost as much as you do!
Again, hit me with comments and complements and glaring criticism. Or don't. It's not like I have a fragile ego in need of constant outside input to gauge how well I'm doing. Wow, that was shallow.
Anyway, I would like to say one last thing about how much I appreciate everyone who reads this! All those favorites mean a lot to me, as well as those upvotes. All of you have a great day! Evening? Night? Whatever, I'm going to bed.
What do you mean, "friend?"
Chapter 7) The Measure of a Man
The stars blazed above me. Coming out of the daze of sleep, I didn’t know what was happening. For a few seconds I was blown away by the wonder of the stars, realizing that I recognized no constellations, and then thinking there must be some kind of large cat lying across my body.
Mmmm I always liked cats lying on me when I sleep. Wait.
That’s not a cat.
Turning my head and suddenly finding my face filled with fluff, I saw that Fluttershy had rolled over and was curled up against my left side as I lay flat on my back. Her left leg was thrown over mine, and my left arm disappeared under her. Her own left hand was on my chest, and every once in a while it moved a little bit and scratched at me absentmindedly. My whole body broke out in a sweat. Fluttershy seemed to respond by nuzzling a little closer to me. Feeling...something , I looked down and saw that my arm was not trapped between two pillows.
Oh sweet Jesus!
Fluttershy’s chest was pressed against me and her blouse had stretched completely taut. The shape of her breasts was outlined in all their soft, supple, beauty. It was enthralling.
Okay! Okay! Think!
-I can’t! All the blood from the brain is gone!
No, we can’t stay like this. We have to try to get the arm free.
Slowly, I edged my right hand towards my left side, and tried to slide it under her to get to my left arm. Almost all feeling was gone from it, so I wasn’t even sure exactly where it was beneath her. As soon as I was about to try, Fluttershy shifted again, and my hand brushed right up against her breast. I pulled back like I had touched an outlet.
My God, that's soft.
Trying to justify it as "getting her off of me," I tried again. This time when my fingers made contact, she made the tiniest sound, like a hum mixed with a squeak.
Won't work.
-Then why don't you move your hand?
I was transfixed. Here was temptation. Pinned down, unable to move, a heaving bosom literally inches from my hand, a sleeping mare…
She won't wake up.
I reached out with my index and middle fingers and gently stroked the top of one breast. Fluttershy seemed to shiver ever so slightly, then let out a long sigh. I couldn't stop staring. I couldn't see her face through her mane, but her head never moved.
I traced a line over the top of both mounds and then circled back. She made little humming noises. I dared to trace to the cleft of her breast, trying to feel between them. Then I pressed my whole hand against one breast, feeling my fingers sink ever so slightly into the soft warmth beneath. She sighed and shifted position, draping her leg further over me. It was way too close to my rock hard erection. I removed my hand.
"Stop. Stop this." I mouthed the words, trying to convince myself.
I waited. Slowly I found myself getting warm. Really warm. Oh God, I was burning up!
No, it's not me. It's coming from her!
It was true, the warmth was flowing out of her like a slow heatwave seeping from my left side to my right, and I feared I would sweat right through all my clothes. I had made up my mind to stop when I looked down.
I could see Fluttershy's nipples had just started poking up through her shirt. Even wearing a bra, there was no hiding those two growing peaks. My mouth watered.
Down boy! You can't reach your head over there anyway.
As slow as a glacier, I move my right hand and gently - ever so gently- I circled one nipple with my index finger.
"Ah." It was just above a whisper, but it was clear as day from my perspective. Fluttershy trembled, almost imperceptibly, but I could feel it.
I waited.
Nothing.
Then I rubbed my thumb across the nipple, bending and pressing it. Again, a tiny cry; again nothing. Meanwhile, my dick could've been used as a bludgeoning weapon, it was so hard.
Tentatively, I circled the other nipple, intent to squeeze it, when she let out a high pitched whimper. The tone struck me horribly.
It’s like she’s begging.
-Begging for it.
No! Begging you to stop!
Then, in barely a whisper:
“Brendon.”
I froze. Terror seized hold of every part of me.
Still she didn’t move.
Talking in her sleep? A dream, perhaps?
“It's alright...trust you…”
The words were a little garbled. I couldn’t tell if it was the sign of someone just coming out of sleep or someone still in dreamland. But either way, it didn’t change the guilt.
-She trusts you. And you’re doing this.
God! What if she is awake?! She’s still trusting you as you take advantage of her. Letting you grope her!
I waited, listening. Was her breathing a little different? A little more rapid? Not quite panting, perhaps. Still she didn’t move. So I debated.
Can we move her?
-No, not without waking her. Maybe. We could just keep doing this.
No. No I won’t.
-Might as well sleep here. She’ll wake up and it’ll all be over.
No. Think about it. What’s the outcome with staying here? I touch her, she wakes up eventually. If I sleep, I’ll cream my pants. There’s no way I won’t have a wet dream like this. If I stay awake, I’ll be a miserable wreck and there’s no guarantee I won’t fall asleep anyway.
-Did a great job of that earlier. And look where we are.
-Dumb fuck.
-Pervert.
Enough! There’s only one thing I can do and still live with myself. She trusts me? Fine!
I shifted my weight, but slowly. Gently, I brought my left arm up so that my shoulder was under her head, and slowly pulled my legs away from her. It wasn’t easy, and I knew that no matter what I did, she might still wake up. Midway through, I had to pause to let some blood flow back to my left arm. Somehow she remained asleep. Then, when I was all set, I put my arms under her, braced myself, and lifted her up. All the while I manage to cradle her head and neck so as not to jolt her too much.
She wasn’t nearly as heavy as I imagined. I got my left arm all the way around to her left shoulder, while my right arm hooked under her knees. Slowly I began to make my way back to Fluttershy’s cottage. I wasn’t even sure how far it was, but I’d make it there somehow. Luckily we made almost no turns from her home, and I found myself making a beeline for it. Fluttershy became heavier and heavier. The strain was bearable, but I had to balance the idea of hurrying with pacing myself so I didn't tire out too fast.
I was three quarters of the way back, when Fluttershy lifted her head from my shoulder. “Mmm? Brendon?” She looked up, a questioning look on her face. She looked so helpless, I thought.
“It’s alright. You fell asleep.”
“But...don’t...I’m not…”
“You’re light as a feather. Go back to sleep. Everything’s fine.”
“Oh. Okay.”
She didn’t sound at all awake, but she smiled, closed her eyes, and nuzzled into me. I felt her arms slowly move up around my shoulders and drape themselves around my neck. She was hugging me, and I felt both undeserving and the strongest man alive. The distance to her house seemed ridiculously easy to make. I wouldn't drop her if she was made of stone. However, when I approached the house, I had a dilemma.
“How am I going to open the door?” I whispered to the darkness.
A dark shape jumped in front of me and I tried not to scream.
It was Angel. His paws were crossed and he was tapping his foot at me. He looked pissed.
“Hey, little guy,” I whispered, “You gotta help me out!”
He shook his head and wagged a finger at me.
How do you have fingers?
-You’re carrying a talking, yellow pony. Shut up.
“Look, she just fell asleep. That’s all that happened! Please open the door. I don’t want to wake her up. Look at her.”
Angel paused and looked at the sleeping, yellow beauty. Then he looked at me with a frown, then dashed away.
“What? No! Come back!” I tried to yell while still whispering.
Just then the door clicked open and there was Angel, peering out from the doorway.
“Oh, I am getting you so many carrots. Thanks, little guy.”
He waved his paws at me in a “Yeah, yeah, sure,” kind of way, and then began hopping in front of me. I tried stepping around him, but he was always in front of me. What was he doing? Oh, he was leading me to Fluttershy’s room.
Inside, Angel peeled back the blankets and bed sheets with his teeth so I could perfectly place her in bed. We tucked her in, and Angel hopped out of the room. I brushed a strand of mane from Fluttershy’s face, and turned to go. I found my hand held in a gentle grip.
“Don’t...don’t go.”
I smiled down at her. Her eyes were barely open and she looked up at me like a child needing to be tucked in.
“Please. Brendon.”
She’s not awake. She won’t remember any of this.
The thought emboldened me, so I sat down towards the head of her bed, stroked her mane with my other hand, and whispered. “I’m sorry, I need to go.”
“...dreaming?”
“Hmmm? Is this a dream?”
She nodded. “Mmmm.”
“Yes. Yes it is, my little Fluttershy.”
-Where did that voice come from? You trying some suave bullshit?
She’s asleep! I can talk however the fuck I want.
I raised her hand that gripped me so desperately, and kissed it. Her ears drew back, but her smile widened. I placed her hand back down on her chest.
“Really?”
“Of course. Now I have to go.”
“I wish…”
-Don’t say it.
I can’t help it.
“You wish what?”
“I wish...you were real.”
“Why?”
“...cause then...I’d…”
She moved her lips but I couldn’t hear her at all. She seemed to be struggling to lean towards me.
I moved in to hear what she would say.
“Yes?”
“...show you my cutie mark.”
“...”
“I know you...wanted to see it…”
“Oh...my.”
Leave. Now.
“Tomorrow, my little Fluttershy. Good night.” I kissed her on the forehead, and turned to go.
When I reached the doorway I stood there for a moment, just looking at her. She was snuggling down further into the covers when I saw her look at me through her half open eyes.
“And you are beautiful, Fluttershy. You are so beautiful.”
As I quickly shut the door, I thought, right before it closed, that her eyes had suddenly opened wide. But then the door was closed, and my heart was pounding too much for me to even think of opening it. I waited in the darkness, my hand still on the knob.
“...Brendon?” It was whispered but I could still hear it through the door. I stood there, motionless. Maybe she had just woken up at the end. Maybe she was still dreaming.
Maybe she was never asleep.
After a moment, uncertain what I would do, I ended up silently tiptoeing to the bathroom, and then to my room.
As I opened the door, I could feel a dull pain that I had been putting off in my nether regions.
-You got the blues, boy! This is going to hurt so bad if you don’t take care of this.
I stopped for a moment.
Oh no, I’m not doing that. I’m going to sleep. Dreams pay off way more than jerking it. I am not going to masturbate.
-Why didn't you give in to that white unicorn? There'd be no consequences!
I couldn’t do that.
-Then you wouldn’t be in such pain!
So I beat myself up if I did and if I didn’t? What the hell?
-You’re a perverted, arrogant, self-centered, life-ruining -
Shut up! I’m going to sleep!
I could feel my mind starting to whirl. “Circular thinking.” That’s what my therapist called it. I would never win the argument, even though I was having it with myself. And the thoughts would not stop, I was helpless against the sudden barrage of them. But I had to sleep. Desperate, I decided to exhaust myself. Maybe then my mind would be too tired to think.
Moving slowly, trying to make as little noise as possible, I stripped off my clothes and started doing push ups. In order to keep my thoughts from coming, I counted out loud in a whisper. Anything to fill the silence. It’d been a while, and I didn’t expect to do more than about twenty-five. Instead I hit fifty, breathing a little hard. It wasn’t good enough, so I did it again. And again. I kept going as the reps got less and less. After some time - I don’t know how long - I was down to only doing five. I was dripping sweat on the floor, straining to do the last one. I had to keep going. If I stopped, the thoughts would come. Not again.
Eventually I collapsed trying to do a single push up. I sat there, feeling the cool of the wood floor on my cheek, just breathing rapidly. Maybe I’d just sleep right there. But now I was sweating like mad and, wearing nothing but my underwear, I was getting cold. I pulled myself up, feeling exhausted and dirty. Glancing at the door, I decided I wasn’t going to bed like this.
Stealthing my way down the hall, I slipped into the bathroom and splashed water in my face. Then I grabbed a washcloth, wet it just a little, and wiped myself down.
I gripped the sides of the sink, staring at my reflection. Who was this, in the mirror? A pervert? A lovesick child? A broken man? A lonely fool? It seemed the image before me subtly changed to reflect each thought, even though none of my features were different.
Is it all in how I see myself?
I was too tired to get into this. Feeling like I would collapse, I opened the door and started back down the hallway. It seemed much longer than before, but then again my legs didn’t want to move anymore. I had gone just a few feet when I heard Fluttershy’s door open. I inwardly groaned, too tired to run back to my room. Despite my misgivings, I’d have to live with this situation; so I decided I’d act like I didn’t notice.
“Oh! Excuse me. I’m sorry.”
I glanced back and saw Fluttershy standing there in her nightgown. She must’ve woken up and changed. It was easy to see that she was flustered, probably from seeing me in nothing but my fruit of the looms.
“No, I’m sorry, Fluttershy. I didn’t think you’d be up.”
“Oh...it’s-it’s okay. I couldn’t sleep.”
“Well, I know how that is. Let me get out of your way,” and with that, I tried not to limp as I made my way back to my room.
Just as I was pushing open my door, I turned to look down the hall. There stood Fluttershy, one hand on the wall, the other was on her waist. She had pushed her nightgown up on one side, revealing her figure all the way up past three pink butterflies on her flank. Her smile was small, her eyes almost apologetic.
There was no fight left in me, I openly stared.
“Goodnight, Brendon.”
“Guh.”
“Hmmm?”
“Uh, guh-good night, Fluttershy.” I feebly wiggled the fingers on one hand, never taking my eyes from her cutie mark.
She stepped into the bathroom, waving. “Sweet dreams.”
“Yuh.”
At that moment, my eyes still locked on the place where she had stood, I walked into my room.
*Wham!*
Nope, that was the wall next to the door. I tried again, and made it this time. Stumbling into my room, I fell on the bed. I was dead tired. As my head hit the pillow, I was already starting to go out. My thoughts were oddly simple.
Those legs don’t ever end. I think she bounced a little. Were those pink panties I saw? Those are the prettiest butterflies in the World.
It was less than a minute before I was finally asleep.
* * *
I was back in Rarity’s boutique. No, that’s not quite true, wasn’t I in Fluttershy’s cottage? Of course, there she was. Was she wearing Rarity’s clothes? She had the tape around her. I needed to be measured. Yes, she could do that. I needed her to do that.
She walked towards me, her hips swaying, her cleavage pushing up out of the blouse. She put her hands on my chest, looking up at me with a bright smile. An arm came up to stroke my hair, the other wrapped around my shoulder. She pressed herself to me. She was so soft.
My hands explored her backside, feeling everything. I ran a hand up her skirt, pushing aside the fabric to feel her soft butt and run my fingers through her tail. My other hand touched the side of her face. It was so precious to me, and I was enthralled by its beauty. She closed her eyes, kissing my palm once before nuzzling into it. Every inch of me thrilled at this moment.
Suddenly I took hold of her and pulled her in for a passionate kiss. Everything exploded at that moment. It seemed butterflies and birds erupted from that kiss, flying everywhere in happiness and joy. A second as long as a lifetime passed, and then Fluttershy pulled back, her eyes shining, and looked up at me with a changed face. It was confident, filled with wonder and excitement, and I felt like a hero from a story. That look on her face told me I was capable, that I was great - and I was. In that moment, I knew it.
Wordlessly, she slid the tape measure off her neck, her breasts bouncing slightly as she did. She held it down to my waist, a look of pride on her face as she turned back to me from what she found there.
An unspoken thought filled my whole world.
Do I measure up? You have to tell me.
Her smile was warm and loving as she reached up and pulled my head in for another kiss. At the same time, I felt her other hand snake down to my pants, darting inside without hesitation. I felt her hand caress my hard cock, feel the thickness of it, and gently stroke it. Her hand was touching everything. She traced the head, tickled the underside, and I felt her body push into me all the more as she moved her hand up and down. We writhed against each other, our mouths devouring, our bodies needing to feel everything. My hands went to her breasts, loving their softness, yearning to push my hands under that shirt and explore.
I couldn’t hold on. Her kiss was happiness. Her ministrations were lust incarnate. I wanted to do so much more, but my world exploded in pleasure. I held onto the moment as long as I could, even as it tried to tear itself from me. I called out, wanting her back, wanting this back!
Can you tell me if I measured up? Can you tell me what I’m worth?
For one fleeting second I saw a mirror rushing at me. It shattered as I smashed through it.
I awoke riding a wave of happiness. This was followed by a deep sense of loss, for my eyes were greeted by nothing but a dull, grey empty room. She wasn’t there. It was a dream. Only a dream. Only a dream? It was breathtaking.
As I started to sit up, I felt the somewhat familiar feeling of having messed the sheets. I flung back the bedding, and was surprised by what I saw. The stain was a lot bigger than I’d thought. Usually it was rather small, and for a second I thought I had seriously peed the bed. Nope. That’s my protein, alright.
Damn. I ain’t sleeping in that.
Quickly, I jumped off the bed and bundled the whole bedding up in one giant ball. I gently placed it on the floor by the door, wondering how to secretly wash that, and then wondering how they did laundry at all in this town.
Should I go back to sleep? I wasn’t tired, that’s for sure. Looking out my little window, I saw the greyness outside was the early grey of morning before the sun rose over the horizon.
My whole body still remembered the feeling I had upon waking, so before it completely left me, I sat down and tried to remember everything. My head in my hands, I almost wept at the memory. That feeling of belonging, the certainty in the dream of never being alone again, and the pleasure my body experienced. I remembered the images, but the feelings were disappearing. I inwardly grabbed at them like an addict trying to keep his high, but it was gone.
I sighed deeply. This wasn't the first time I'd had a dream like that. This was, however, the most vivid one I'd ever had. And it was the only time I'd ever dreamed of a real person. Every other dream was a woman my mind created for the dream, but not Fluttershy.
Glancing out the window, I knew I had time to kill, and I'd rather sit and think for a bit then walk around an empty house, potentially meeting Fluttershy in some other awkward moment. Part of me got excited at the prospect, while another part shied away from it. Why?
-That's what we have to talk about.
Might as well try some self therapy. "Physician! Heal thyself!"
Looking back on this moment, I was amazed that my mind had no antagonist. Did it mark a beginning?
-Are you attracted to her?
She's beautiful.
-Not the same thing. You're divided. You want to reach out your hand but you pull it back at the same time, not even questioning why.
Is it because she's not human?
-That seems to hit a mark. There is the feeling of some unapproachable distance between you and her, like you know she can't be reached.
She can't.
-Why?
She's not human.
-Follow that up. She's exotic, different, possibly one reason your drawn to her. But not the whole reason.
I can't ever have kids with her.
-Whoa, getting a bit ahead of ourselves! We haven't even hit long term relationship.
Shouldn't I?
-No, don't change the subject. Why are you attracted to her?
God, look at that body!
-Well duh, but that was always the "added bonus" for you, not the main reason.
It helps.
-You like her because you believe she needs help.
She's alone.
-No, you are. Stop making excuses.
I'm afraid to hurt her.
-Ah, that feels closer. Imagine you broke her heart.
Or corrupted her.
-There does seem to be this air of innocence around here. But then there's Rainbow.
And Rarity.
-Let's not go there yet.
Right, but it's all so…
-Yeah.
And I feel like I might tarnish it.
-Innocence ends. Virginity, eventually, is lost.
You ass.
-You're talking to yourself.
Right.
-What are you most afraid of? What's holding you at arm's length, except when she's sleeping?
I'm scared of getting hurt.
-Bingo. You might leave.
She might leave me.
-And that scares the shit out of you. Even though it seems like she doesn't want to leave you.
Seems.
-Shut up. You always want absolute proof that a girl likes you. Here you have something.
Do I?
-Oh God, what does it take with you? How do you imagine that you've interpreted everything wrong? Did Rarity want to have sex with you?
Well, yeah.
-Last night, did Fluttershy purposefully show you her ass?
Cutie mark.
-I rest my case.
Sighing one last time, I decided I needed to finally get up. I grabbed the little backpack from Rarity and made my way to the shower.
The hot water felt great, putting me in the mood for a song. So I sang the first thing that came to mind.
“There's something in the way she moves
Or looks my way, or calls my name
That seems to leave this troubled world behind.
If I'm feeling down and blue
Or troubled by some foolish game
She always seems to make me change my mind.
I feel fine anytime she's around me now
And she's around me now
Almost all the time.
If I'm well you can tell she's been with me now
And she's been with me now quite a long, long time
And I feel fine…”
Ah, James Taylor. Can’t go wrong.
I finished the song, and the shower, then got out and toweled off. I looked in the backpack and saw that Rarity had given me two of everything: pants, shirts, socks, undershirts, and underwear. I picked out a dark green shirt with dark brown pants. The shirt was very close to my favorite color; dark green always went well with my hair. I smiled and put on the well-fitting clothes. The pants did hug my butt a little bit, but didn’t feel tight. I snapped my fingers and pointed at my reflection.
“Heeey! Lookin’ good!” I cracked up at my awful attempt at being slick.
Eventually I made my way to the kitchen, grabbed an apple, looked and snagged something else, and went outside to watch the sun start to rise over Ponyville. What a sight it was. I took a big bite out of the apple and just sat there with my back to the front door.
Your new home.
And it was my third day in it. How had so much happened in two days? Well, today would be the start of something different. I needed to find a job. Get out there and meet new ponies, and earn my keep. Where? Didn't have a clue, but I'd find out.
Not in a boutique, that's for sure.
I sat there for probably only a few minutes, crunching my apple, when Angel came bounding up in front of me. I looked down and smiled.
"Hey, big guy, thanks for last night. I said I'd pay up. Here," I pulled out the bundle of carrots I’d nabbed from the kitchen and tossed it to him.
He grabbed it, sniffed, and then gave me a nod.
"You don't know if Fluttershy's up yet, do you?" I was still hesitant to see her. How much did she remember? How much did she know?
Angel shrugged, then started nibbling a carrot. He was eyeing me strangely. I didn't know how to take it. I bit into my apple while I eyed him back.
"Look, I was just trying to do right by her last night, okay? She's a wonderful pony, and I only want the best for her."
Angel took another bite, his eyes never moving, his expression never changing. I took another bite, trying to talk through the apple.
"I didn't plan to come in here and take over your place, right? You understand? I'm not here to take advantage of your master, or mistress. Your her pet, right?"
*nom nom nom*
Starting to hate that stare. What’s he want from me?
Apple bits flew everywhere. "I got lost! I'm stuck here! And I don't know what I'm going to do! I got to get a job or something, find something to do with myself. Well, I got all these new friends now, right? All these...female...ponies. But your Fluttershy -whoa! - she is something ."
There was a single nod. No other change.
I swallowed. "I know, right? She's amazing! She's just so...oh, I don't need to tell you. You live with her. Well, yeah, I guess I do too, for however long that's going to be. Hopefully for a while. The thought of Fluttershy being the first person I see when I wake up, and the last person to see before I go to bed...that's pretty...great. Yeah." I couldn't keep the dreaminess out of my voice.
Angel just kept on staring. Then he waved a tiny wave. I waved back confused. A thought struck me. I leaned my body to the left. Angel's eyes didn't move. I shifted over to the right. Same thing.
Oh no.
I turned around, and there was a sight to catch my breath.
What do you mean, "friend?"
Fluttershy awoke and tried to piece together what happened last night.
She remembered lying down next to the human (Brendon, he's not some lost animal) and talking with him for a very long time. It was good to see him let out some of that sadness he had been holding inside of him. And it had been nice to hold his hand. To comfort him, of course. Then, when she had looked over, he was peacefully sleeping, his mouth wide open. After debating with herself for a long time, she finally worked up the courage to inch closer and snuggle. It had felt so...nice. He was warm and it wasn’t long before she too fell asleep. Her dreams were...interesting. All she could remember was a mix of some strong pony taking her in his arms and making her feel so…“good?” It was a feeling she’d never felt before. There was a feeling of being so close, but also her chest felt so wonderful. Was it her heart? No, that wasn’t quite right. She had also gotten rather warm, but a kind of warmth that was...pleasurable. All of this had somehow mixed together; she couldn’t tell what was dream and what was real. Had she been in Brendon’s arms? Was he embracing her, or was he carrying her? And somewhere in there she had tried to tell him that it was okay to be close to her, that she trusted him. Had she said that? No, it was just a dream. Why did she need to say that? In the dream he had seemed so afraid to be close, he kept pulling away, afraid to hurt her.
Then there was the other part of the dream where she was talking with him and she was in bed. He had been so kind, but it had only been a dream. Or had it? She had started up out of bed, thinking the bedroom door was closing and that Brendon was telling her once again how beautiful she was. Had that been a dream? She could swear she had heard the door close. She'd called his name, but no response.
He is shy. Maybe he didn't want to bother me. And he had to have carried me. How else did I get in bed?
One thing she had remembered at that moment was that she had said she'd show Brendon her cutie mark. Why? The thought made her embarrassed until she thought that it was her...friend, and she had been so sincere in the dream. Right? Besides it filled her with a thrill to think she might step out and take a risk, and one that might make Brendon smile. Was it such a big deal?
After all, how did she feel about him? ...One thing at a time.
She hadn't been able to sleep, though she tried for a while. So she got up and put on her nightshirt, and then heard Brendon in the bathroom. She had pressed herself against the door, working up the courage to step out, thinking of how she'd do it, whether she'd do it, and then when she heard him leave she finally stepped out and...did it. His reaction was...warming. When she got into the bathroom, she couldn't stop smiling and even giggled like a little filly. He had loved it, she could tell!
This time, when she went back to bed, she'd had another dream. A strong stallion had taken her in his arms and held her so close. He had kissed her and...touched her. It was all so vague but she remembered strong and sensual hands on her, and he had something...big and...amazing that had gotten hard for her. She had felt it against her, and she had wanted so much to reach down and touch it, but she was still hesitant. The thought of it all being for her filled her with a fire that burned between her legs. There were piercing eyes in his face, looking deep into her soul. But they glittered with happiness at what they saw in her. This time she embraced him, leaning in to kiss him with abandon, reaching down to feel that wonderful hardness that she knew was meant only for her. It had felt so good, she had to break the kiss to cry out in joy. And then she woke up. She lay there, unmoving, trying to remember everything, even as it blurred together in her heart and mind.
Fluttershy stayed that way for a long time. Judging by the grey light coming in the window, it was the early morning, the forest silent outside as the birds waited for the sun to sing their songs again. In her head she replayed all of last night she could recall. What did she know that happened? She fell asleep on the human, he must have carried her and put her to bed, and that in the hallway he had gaped at her like one of those young stallions gapes at Rarity when she’s in her bathing suit at the beach. And she had liked that. Moreover, she knew that Brendon had gotten...stimulated by the photos of her in Rarity’s shop. She blushed again at the thought. Fluttershy humbly granted that she must look nice for Photo Finish to like her as a model so much, but for some reason the thought of being found attractive - very attractive if he got so...hard - filled her with a kind of courage she didn’t expect. Was courage the right word? It lifted her up, so to speak, and gave her confidence. A little. At least she’d stepped out last night and taken a risk. With Brendon, when he was dazed and half asleep, and no one else was around. And she’d teased him the day before. She’d rarely ever teased someone, but this time made her feel...playful. Plus he was so adorable when he was embarrassed like that.
What could she do today to step out a little more? All of this was making her want to be a little bolder than she’d been before. Perhaps she’d get out that outfit Rarity had made for her? The one that she’d initially said she could never wear out in public? Maybe.
Fluttershy was startled by the sound of singing.
“Brendon?” she whispered, and finally sat up in bed.
But what was this ? Her nightgown clung to much of her legs and she felt a dampness all down the mattress, practically to her ankles. Looking down, there was a large wet mark on the bed sheet from her crotch. Had she peed the bed? No, it didn’t smell like it. She reached down and lifted up her nightgown and saw that her panties were soaked all the way through. Fluttershy put a hand down to touch the source of the wetness and almost screamed when a jolt went through her body. It surprised her, but it was a feeling of immense pleasure . Was this what she’d heard other mares talk about? The wetness from...down there? They had talked about it in health class. She reached down, more slowly this time and probed at her privates, trying to find that pleasure again. She touched her lower lips and stopped. There it was. She had to muffle herself to not make a sound.
What if Brendon hears next door?
She tiptoed to the door and listened as she pressed herself against it. He was still singing. She could make out some of the words.
...Every now and then the things I lean on lose their meaning
And I find myself careening
In places where I should not let me go.
Well she has the power to go where no one else can find me
Yes, and to silently remind me
Of the happiness and good times that I’ve known...
Fluttershy felt saddened at that. If she knew someone who was having trouble like that, then she wished she could be the mare in that song to help thst person. But Brendon didn’t have anyone. Was this a personal song? Inside she felt a longing she didn’t have words for.
But then her mind went off on a very different tangent. She began thinking of Brendon singing in the shower. Naked in the shower. Washing himself. Why was she thinking this way? She’d never thought of this before, but then again she’d never soaked her panties before. She began to try to picture Brendon washing his body, his hands going over his chest, his muscles, his legs, his...crotch. She didn’t know what his penis looked like, though she’d seen the pictures of what a regular stallion’s was supposed to be. But he wasn’t a regular stallion, he was a man . What would that look like? The thought of it made her begin to get warm. Her hand went down between her legs, while she told herself she was just doing this out of curiosity. But really she just wanted to feel that feeling again. She slowly rubbed herself through her panties.
“Oooh,” she moaned. It was amazing! She kept thinking if Brendon did something similar down there, and that sent her off even more. She leaned her back to the door and continued to touch herself, still unsure of what she was doing. She could hear the water of the shower, and the man singing. She thought of him getting hard, not knowing exactly what that looked like, but filled with a desire to find out. If he saw her now, would he touch himself too? Touch himself for her? She bit her lip and shuddered, a huge smile on her face. Finally she reached down inside her panties and found her lips, probing inside with her fingers.
“Aaaah!” Fluttershy cut herself off with one hand over her mouth. It was too good. She felt weak at the knees and slid down to where she was squatting against the door. She didn’t want to stop, but Brendon was two doors away! He might hear her! But part of her wanted him to hear her, to find her like this and then...what? She couldn’t think straight, only wanting him to come, knowing he'd make the pleasure soar ever higher. She was beginning to feel a wave of immense ecstasy building inside her. She could feel her juices running down her legs, and it felt so dirty but in such a good way. Fluttershy was just about to probe deeper with her fingers, when she heard the water turn off and a sudden silence. Her hand pulled back, slick with her juices, and she dared not to move. Breathing rapidly, she sat and waited. Eventually she decided to crawl back to her bed, and began to take the sheets off for the wash later on. She whipped off her nightgown, relishing in the feeling of her breasts bouncing free. They were more sensitive now for some reason. She reached up and felt one with her hand to test it, moving her breast around under her palm. She hummed a little and smiled at this, thinking that the man would love to see her right now. Then she carefully peeled off her panties and dropped them with a wet slap into the pile of clothes and sheets. She then went to her dresser and closet, picking out the clothes she’d wear. And maybe a few accessories? She didn’t usually, but why not?
Once she was sure the man was gone, she bolted across the hallway. She showered, combed her mane and tail until they shown, styled her mane, and then put on the outfit. She twirled around to see how it looked.
“Oh my, I mustn’t do that too often in this outfit.”
The thought made her giggle.
She made her way to the kitchen to start breakfast, but noticed that she could hear someone outside.
“...I said I’d pay up, here.”
Clearly that was Brendon, but who was he talking to?
She went to the door, which was left open, and peeked her head out. Angel was taking a bundle of carrots from Brendon.
Oh that’s nice, Brendon’s feeding him. And his new clothes fit him well. That’s a good color on him.
She was standing between Brendon and the door, and Angel seemed to be staring at her as he started to nibble on the carrots.
"You don't know if Fluttershy's up yet, do you?"
Fluttershy stifled a giggle. He had no idea!
"Look, I was just trying to do right by her last night, okay? She's a wonderful pony, and I only want the best for her."
He’s talking about how he carried me home. And he called me wonderful. Awww.
"I didn't plan to come in here and take over your place, right? You understand? I'm not here to take advantage of your master, or mistress. Your her pet, right?"
Is he really afraid someone might see it that way? I never would have thought that. Poor Brendon, he thinks Angel is listening to him. He’s really talking to himself!
"I got lost! I'm stuck here! And I don't know what I'm going to do! I got to get a job or something, find something to do with myself. Well, I got all these new friends now, right? All these...female...ponies. But your Fluttershy -whoa! - she is something ."
A job? Well he did need something to do, and it’d be great to see him get back on his hooves and do something he liked, but he doesn't need to do that.
In addition, his compliment made her bring her hand to her mouth with a humble smile.
"I know, right? She's amazing! She's just so...oh, I don't need to tell you. You live with her. Well, yeah, I guess I do too, for however long that's going to be. Hopefully for a while. The thought of Fluttershy being the first person I see when I wake up, and the last person to see before I go to bed...that's pretty...great. Yeah."
I...would like that too. And you’re pretty great yourself.
She noticed that Angel was still looking at her. Without thinking, she waved to him to show she was okay, unsure of what her expression had showed just now. He waved back. It was then that Brendon put two and two together, and turned around.
* * *
There stood Fluttershy. The rising sun lit her up, emphasizing everything. She wore a short skirt that fell above her knees. It reminded me of the stereotypical school girl. She even had on thigh high socks, which I guess were still in fashion even with hooves. Her mane was styled beautifully, with butterfly pins holding either side of her mane in place. They sparkled in the sunlight. Her blouse was white, with a cut out in the shape of a butterfly, just over her breasts. She wasn't showing off enough cleavage that it would be called inappropriate, but to me it was bountiful. Her smile was perfect.
For a few moments, I was at a loss for words.
"Fluttershy...good morning! That's - you - I - *cough* you look great! That's a cute outfit on you."
She smiled brightly as I stood up.
"Thank you, Brendon. Your new clothes look good on you too."
"Really? You think so?"
I spun around once, and noticed that Fluttershy's eyes lingered on my hind quarters.
"Oh yes, I do."
"Heh, thanks!"
"Would you like some breakfast?"
"Sure. Can we have some eggs?"
"Okay. If you want, I can show you how to get some."
"You mean from the coop? That'd be great, I've never taken eggs from an actual chicken."
Soon after Fluttershy guided me through the process of getting eggs from skittish chickens ("Talk gently. Move slowly."), we were frying and eating some delicious eggs with toast. I was surprised how little tension there was between us, as I had feared we'd be sitting there trying not to talk about last night. Instead, we were smiling and opening up to each other. I asked Fluttershy about her family, and then she asked me more about my own. She asked what it was like having older siblings, and I inquired what it was like being the oldest. We ate up the early morning with our talk as we ate up our breakfast.
"Sorry, but I couldn't help overhearing that you want to look for a job. You don't have to pay me back for giving you a place to stay."
"Thanks, but it's more than that. If this... world is my new home, then I need to find something to fill my time. I want to be useful ."
I want a purpose.
"Well, if you’re really sure. Where do you want to start?"
"I... have no idea. What do your friends do?"
"Okay, well you know what Rarity does -"
"No."
She paused for a second and I caught the tiniest smile. Then, like a trooper, she continued as if nothing happened.
"Rainbow Dash moves the clouds -"
Can't fly.
"-Pinkie Pie works at the Sugarcube Corner selling baked goods -"
I won’t work in the food industry EVER again.
"-and Applejack works all over Sweet Apple Acres."
"And you take care of the animals?"
"Well, ponies bring me their pets when they need them looked after. I've also helped with an animal sanctuary when there have been a lot of animals who need looking after."
"Oh! You're kind of like what we'd call a veterinarian back home."
"No, we have those too. And I can't diagnose or help with really sick animals. Though if I find an injured animal, I will try to nurse it back to health."
"You also have a special way with calming wild animals down. They should call you in when they have a rampaging stampede or something."
"Well, um I did help out with getting a local dragon to move out."
"A dragon?! Wait, like Spike?"
"Oh no he was much bigger."
"What? You sent a gigantic dragon packing?"
"Um, if you put it that way...yes. Yes I did."
-Holey moley? Since when do you talk like that?
I don't like cursing by these ponies! They seem so innocent!
-With their cleavage and short skirts and their manhandling your dick and -
Shut up! We don't need to bring That up again!
-Heh, keep It down. Zing!
I tried to clear my thoughts with a small cough. "Wow, you're tough."
"Oh no, I'm definitely not."
"Well, you are strong."
"You... you think so?"
"Come on! Look at you! Even physically you have to admit it. Let me see your arm."
"Umm... okay." Fluttershy leaned forward and gave me her right arm, palm down like a princess.
I felt along her forearm, bicep and tricep. "I thought so. You've got hard muscle right here. Shows you work hard." I noticed Fluttershy had a look on her face: amused and a little embarrassed. I tried not to sneak a peek at her cleavage, emphasized all the more from her leaning forward.
"Uh, thank you, m'lady, for your hand." I half-joked with an accent. Then I took her hand and kissed it.
"I… I... th-thank you."
"And let me see that leg." I reached down and gently lifted up one of Fluttershy's legs. Her thigh-highs were adorable and I couldn't help but smile. Fluttershy was going along with it, but she had one hand to her mouth and her ears were back. Even so, I saw her tail kept moving. Every once in a while I felt her shiver.
Feeling my way up from her hoof, I felt the strength and tone in her calf muscles. "You've got great legs, Fluttershy. They're very strong." Slowly I moved up to her quadriceps, which were beautiful and well-toned. Hearing a noise, I looked up. Fluttershy was whimpering a little. Her whole body was shivering.
My hands were almost up her skirt. In my haste I'd been letting my hands go up without thinking of how close they were to her...ummm.
"Ummm...I'm...I'm real sorry, Fluttershy."
She silently nodded. "It's-it's okay."
"No, no it's not. You should say something if I make you feel uncomfortable."
"If...if it's you, then I don't mind...as much." She was twirling her mane in one hand, looking up at me with big eyes. Without taking her eyes off me, she daintily lifted her skirt just a little to give me more access. I gulped. From my angle, clear as day, I could see a pair of sky blue panties peeking out at me.
"Are my legs...strong?"
"Uh...yes. Yeah they are. You may look soft, but I know you’ve got tone under there. You've kept yourself in great shape. Here you go." I carefully laid her leg back down, and then I sat there looking down, feeling foolish. Had I done all that in innocence? Was I being deceptive, even with myself?
-Didn't she do the same thing the first night you met? Did she mean it?
She's not like me, I'm not a good person.
Without lifting my head up, and without knowing what I was doing, I started babbling, "Look, Fluttershy. If you want to say no, please just say no. You have to stand up for yourself. "
Quick as a soldier standing at attention, she stood straight up. I had been staring at nothing, but now I was forced to look up. Way up. Her legs were so lovely, and seemed even longer as my eyes traveled up her body. I fought not to linger on her skirt, trying to glimpse those cute panties again. And I could swear her chest was still moving when I looked into her face, a question etched on my features.
"You told me to stand up."
Don't facepalm. Don't do it.
"Er, yeah. But, I mean, if I asked you to do something and you were unsure, you don't have to do it."
"I know, I just don't like hurting people's feelings."
"It wouldn't have hurt my feelings. Look," I said, getting up from the table - a bit reluctant given how hard I was, "Look, if you wanted to be by yourself -"
"Why would I want that?"
It struck me for a moment that all of the shit I was talking was condescending crap meant more for a much younger me than Fluttershy, and that I should shut up. But I’m an idiot, so I didn't.
"-er, I mean, let's say I wanted to be by myself because...sometimes I just want to get away, I guess. And let's say...you wanted to give me a hug and I didn't want that-"
"Oh, but you need it."
"-what?"
"If I wanted to give you a hug, it was because you really needed one, especially if you wanted to be alone."
"Wait, this isn't supposed to be about me-"
"Do you want a hug, Brendon?"
"I-I-I don't think so right now-"
GLOMP!
*FWOOMPH!*
I never saw her move. One instant she was there, looking at me with concern; the next I was caught up in an unbreakable, squishy, cozy, wonderful smelling hug. It was also in that moment that her skirt and my pants collided perfectly . Her wings spread out, going off like an airbag. I mentally filed that away under "important body language." It quickly became apparent that Fluttershy was not letting go.
Tentatively, I reached up my hands and returned the hug. She felt so soft and warm, and despite the sexual excitement of the moment, I was touched by the tenderness of it all.
But I'm fine, I didn't need help. I'm not hurting.
-Yes you are.
I'm fine.
-Oh God…
I'm fine…
-I'm so alone.
"I'm...I'm fine…"
There was no mistaking the emotion in my voice. My hands gripped tighter. I was shaking.
Fluttershy snuggled deeper, nuzzling her face and mane against my shoulder. Around my back came the strange sensation of her wings enfolding me. Never before did I feel such an all encompassing embrace. I stood there for a while, just relishing in it. My muscles started to relax (most of them), and I let out a contented sigh.
Then there was something else.
"You're...very warm."
"...I know." The soft voice whispered almost right in my ear. A shiver went through my spine. What was in that voice?
And there was no way she was mistaking what was pressed right up against her. Was that the reason for the FWOOMPH?
Mmmmmmaybe.
Fluttershy shifted her whole body slightly, like she was trying to get more comfortable. She moved her legs a bit and settled in just a bit more. That resulted in some wiggling against me and my rock hard cock nestling even more into the right/wrong spot. She shivered ever so slightly.
"This...feels nice," she whispered.
"Y-yeah."
It did.
It really did.
But this was also reaching Awkward Level Supreme.
End it gently .
"Err-thank you, Fluttershy. I really needed this."
"Mmmmm." She pressed her cheek to my chest, looking away. I couldn't look at her face to see her expression.
"I feel much better, I mean it."
"I'm glad."
"Yeah…"
Okay, this was good but I really want to get out.
-Part of you doesn't want this to end.
You mean the penis? He likes it but he's convinced this ain't going nowhere, no matter how good it feels.
-Not what I mean.
This disturbs me.
-Protracted interhuman contact? Why do you feel the need to run away right now? What about this disturbs you so much?
Not now!
-Because that train of thought leads to tears. This is deep vulnerability. A door cracking open.
Not now! Fuck you! Not now!
"Fluttershy?"
"Mmm?"
"Really, I'm okay."
She lifted her head up and looked at me. The smile on her face was so bright, her dimples standing out as her teeth glinted.
"Let me know when you need another hug."
"I...I will."
Wait, how long was my hand on the back of her head? How long were my fingers stroking her mane?
She stepped back, folded her wings, and then just sat there looking impossibly adorable with her hands folded on her lap and her head tilted to one side..
My cute gauge is reaching maximum. I'm about to explode!
"Okay, Brendon. Then it’s time to go out and enjoy the day."
I felt pumped. "Alright!"
"Just... let me change real quick?"
"Hmmm?"
"Just something small, be right back."
"Okay, I'll wait, Fluttershy."
She dashed away. I started clearing the table and cleaning up and - what was that? Looked like Fluttershy spilled something on her chair. There was something wet and glistening on the seat.
Huh. Not water, looks sticky.
I ran my fingers over it and brought them to my nose.
Holy shit!
It was like small fireworks went off in my brain, and then some sparks tried to head down to my loins. My nose seemed to have inhaled the equivalent of a woman nibbling my ear, and that sweet spot just behind it. I practically shuddered.
“Ho-o-o-o-o-o-o boy!”
What the fuck is This? Some kind of aphrodisiac? Some liquid perfume?
I tasted it. Jesus Christ, it was delicious! Precious nectar of the gods! Suddenly I contemplated collecting it all on my fingers and licking it off, or running my tongue over the seat just to capture it all. I shook my head.
There must be some plant, some chemical, some weird thing this came from that's messing with my physiology. There's no way Fluttershy would willingly have this in her house if she knew it did this to me. Best not to mention it. Meanwhile I need to think about cold, naked grandparents. Uggghhhhh.
I had just finished cleaning up when Fluttershy came back, tugging at her skirt a little, and we walked out to a new day.
Author's Note
Inter-world biological interaction is FUN ! More to come, readers. I hope you have enjoyed the show so far.
What do you mean, "friend?"
Chapter 10) Calm and Rational Thought
I enjoyed the walk into town, keeping myself busy by singing a few songs on the way. Bill Withers’ “Lovely Day” seemed a bit appropriate, and I kept repeating the chorus over and over. I gave a few casual waves to some passers by, eliciting a few giggles from younger ponies as they had never seen me before. After about a half hour of wandering around, I finally sucked it up and asked for directions. A nice couple gave me advice on where to go, and soon I found myself knocking on the door to the Golden Oak Library. Spike opened the door with a smile and let me in.
Upon seeing him, I immediately felt a familiar relief. Finally! Here it was only guys and no females . I sighed deeply.
“Thanks, Spike. I was sent here to tell you we’re going to have a camping trip in two days.”
“Oh, great! What’s the occasion?”
“Well...I think it’s to give me some time to have a bit of fun while, um, trying to deal with the fact I’m never going home again.”
“Oh, wow. Yeah, sorry about that. I really can’t think what that’d be like. I mean, I’d never want to leave Ponyville with Twilight and Rarity , and...”
Spike went on for a while, listing things he’d miss, but I wasn’t listening. Something in the way he said “Rarity” struck a chord. That and the fact he mentioned her about three times in his list. His face had a Look on it whenever he said her name. (The name also sent a shiver of remembrance down my spine that I immediately suppressed.)
Guess interspecies romance isn’t so rare a fantasy as I thought.
I was struck by an odd train of thought that suddenly bothered me. I knew it had been eating at me somewhere in the back of my mind, and I needed to get it out.
“So, Spike, what’s it like being the only guy around here? I mean, all your friends seem to be female ponies. How do you live with it?”
“Huh? Not sure what you mean. I like it. I mean, yeah, they’re...feminine and all, but you get used to it. It barely bothers me at all now.”
“But, how do you keep your man-card? I mean...damn it, I need to think of something that isn’t just a phrase from my world. Sorry, give me a moment, I want to make sense.”
“Oh. I think I get it. Is it like, different words, or something?”
“Maybe. I mean…” I grasped at something that I thought was manly, or masculine, or...different from these ponies. “Do you like setting things on fire?”
“Huh?! You like setting fires?”
“No no. I mean kinda. I mean...don’t you ever feel the need to get away and just be a guy with other guys?”
“I’m not sure what you mean. Why would I need to do that?”
“Have you been raised around mares your whole life?”
“Yeah, of course!” he said brightly. “Twilight hatched me from my egg!”
“Ah.”
I stopped and thought about what I was trying to tell Spike and again I came across the idea that I was trying to change someone who didn’t need to be changed. This was my crap, and I was desperately trying to find someone who understood.
“Spike, I’m sorry, forget what I said. You seem like a pretty good guy - I mean, dragon. I’m real glad you have such...good friends around you.”
A thought struck me.
“You’ve been on some of their adventures, right?”
“Well, yeah! A lot of them!”
“Have you ever saved them or...I don’t know...really wanted to save them?”
“Ha! I’ve done my part now and then, I guess. I mean, most of the girls, if I’m being honest, are a lot stronger than me. I screw up things at times, but some of the stuff I’ve done has been huge! There’s a statue of me in the Crystal Kingdom!”
“Wow! Way to go man!” I raised my hand, and to my surprise Spike went along with it and we high fived.
Well, what else would a culture do with hands, I guess? Best not think too much about it.
“But I have, umm, dreamed of saving the ponies. I mean, especially one of them. There was this time Rarity had been ponynapped -”
Bingo.
“- and I wished I was all in shining armor and road in to her rescue! And then she’d say ‘My hero!’ and then...and then…”
“I understand, my good man-dah I mean -dragon. I think most guys have had that thought about a female...uh, girl...mare that they liked.”
“Wh-what do you mean?”
“Oh come on , Spike. I’ve talked with you for, like, five minutes and already I know you’re head over heels for Rarity.” Head over hoofs? Damn these anthropomorphic phrases!
“No I...I, uh.” Spike’s head drooped down with a deep sigh. He looked up. “Am I that obvious?”
“Yep. I guess she doesn’t know?”
“Well...maybe? We’ve never...I mean I’ve never…”
“I get it. I get it. I’ll drop it. Sorry to make you uncomfortable.”
“No, it’s okay. Maybe...maybe I need to talk about it more often.”
I shrugged. “Can’t hurt from time to time. You can always talk to me about it.”
“Do you know all about mares?”
“Dude, if we completely understood them, they’d be boring to us.”
“Wow. When you put it like that...well, I guess I’d better start packing. I haven’t gone camping with them before! The last time, I think, was when half of them took the Cutie Mark Crusaders with them? I’m not sure if that’s right.”
“Wait! The what went with who?”
“The Cutie Mark Crusaders.”
My brain pictured some strange superhero team clad with a mixture of medieval armor and sailor moon outfits. Again the cuteness assailed me.
“Umm...who are they?”
“Oh! They’re three little fillies: Applebloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo. You see, they’ve never gotten their cutie marks, so they formed a little club to try and figure out how to find their cutie marks.”
Without thinking, I began pulling at my hair in frustration. “I almost can’t stand it.”
“Huh?”
“Ugh! Nevermind. So, you said you haven’t been on a camping trip with them?”
“Well, not for a vacation, I mean. We’ve spent time out in the woods and wilderness for all sorts of reasons, but sometimes when we have a lot of downtime, I like to spend time by myself.”
“I can understand that. Sooooo you can’t give me any heads up on what this will be like or where we’re going?”
“Nope. Not a clue. Probably somewhere that's got a great view, or some huge landmark or...something."
"I don't care if it leads up to a snowy mountain peak, I'm just looking forward to going out there! I haven't camped in...years, I think. Last time was with my brother out in the middle of nowhere. Not a town for miles, just woods and a couple of men."
"Wait, you're a man. So...that's kind of the opposite of this?"
"Oh. Yeah. I'm still trying to wrap my head around all the females around here. What's up with that?"
"Well, you're asking the wrong dragon. I mean, I haven't been everywhere in Equestria, but I've always thought our town was unique that way."
"What? You mean there's more males elsewhere?"
"Ehhhh...maybe?"
Drop this. It's going nowhere you want to go.
I didn't.
"So have any of the others - you know, Twilight, Fluttershy, Rarity, Rainbow, Pinkie, and Applejack - have they ever had really close stallion, uh, friends?"
"You mean a special somepony, or a coltfriend? Not really. I mean if they do, I don’t really know about it. I mean, Rarity sees the occasional ‘stallions’ and she’s had a few crushes. I mean, she may also have seen some over in Manehatten on her trips...I don’t know. She does like the attention she gets.” Spike got this far off look in his eye, like something a long way away was giving him pain. He shook his head. “Um, I kind of wonder if Rainbow has somepony in Cloudsdale, but she doesn’t talk about it. I could be wrong. But that’s really it. I’ve never seen the rest have any serious interest in anypony.”
Two things I noted: 1) Spike may not be the most observant person to ask, and 2) the way he said "stallions" in regards to Rarity showed not just his disdain but even sounded he was questioning their masculinity.
Feisty dragon. Protective of what's his. Or what might be his? Good luck, big guy.
"And...they're all fine? I mean, they don't mind all being single?"
"Well, no, I don't think so. Should they?"
"Well...umm...I don't know. I mean they don’t talk about it when they get together-?”
“No.”
“Um. I feel like I'm having culture shock. Sorry, hang on a minute, let me think."
This conversation was hitting so many of my nerves, my skin practically crawled at the conceptions. These ponies didn't need to be defined by a relationship. They were fine long before I came around, even Fluttershy. And looking back on my talk with Spike, I realized they probably rarely needed rescuing. I mean, not all six of them. They were...powerful. They had to be, from the few exploits I'd heard from them. But why did this bother me so much in this moment? It didn't do this to me when I was just meeting them.
Then it hit me like a blow to the face. It was me. It was like my dream of being the rescuing hero for a girl could never happen here. Well, that might not be true, but that wasn't really the point either. If I compared myself to them, I could not come from a place of dominant strength to...help...them? The words weren't right. The concept was deeper.
This wasn't feminism, or not my odd definition of it. There was no affront to my masculinity here, no rejection of my opening a door for them; no upturned nose at my lending a hand. It was just that the world would go on if I didn't, and that was...fine. There was something more, but I just couldn't get it. I concluded it was something I needed to work on in my own conceptions. But, I didn't need to do that at any moment before, right? Since I’d landed in Equestria I was fine up until now.
Before I wasn't imposing my thoughts on what was around me. I just took it in and accepted it. Like how all my stupid junk this morning on "helping Fluttershy stand up for herself." She's a strong pony! Why am I trying to tell her what to do?
-There’s truth here, but I'm also beating myself up again.
I shook my head to try and clear it. It was as though a shadow had passed through my brain. All at once there seemed to be this giant, terrifying “Idea” that this world would somehow crush the Man in me, and then it instantly was blown away by a gentle breeze. What was I even afraid of?
Everything is still too damn cute.
But cute wasn't bad. I liked pets, and really, really cute ones especially. I suddenly pictured myself petting one of the ponies and snuggling them like a huge puppy. I smiled. Then I thought of doing that to Fluttershy. I shivered.
Spike walked up and poked me in the arm. "Uh, you okay?"
How long was I out of it?
I shook my head and looked up. I found I had curled up on myself, legs crossed, head in my hand, and when I i looked up I actually felt my forehead relax.
Heh. Was I trying to reenact the statue, "The Thinker?"
-No. "Duh Tinka."
Nice.
I blinked at Spike.
"You know what, Spike? I'm hungry. Want to get something to eat?"
"Sounds great! Where do you want to go?"
"Well, that's the thing. I haven't told anyone else but...we humans eat vegetables and fruit but we also eat -" I looked around quick and whispered "-meat."
"Oh that? Pfffft. That's fine !" He waved it off. "Well, anyway I don’t care. We have visitors from time to time who eat meat. It's rare (Ha! Rare!) but it happens. I hear that several places in Ponyville keep some fish in a freezing spell until someone needs it."
"Makes sense, if I understand you. No point keeping it around all year with a town full of ponies."
"Yeah, I guess."
"What do you eat?"
"Jewels!"
I crossed my legs.
"I'm sorry, say that again?"
"Gems, rubies, emeralds, diamonds. You know: jewels."
"Oh right. Silly me." I felt the pain of trying to hold in my laughter.
"What? What's so funny?"
"I'll explain on the way. Lead the way, Spike!"
* * *
Fluttershy walked through the halls of the Ponyville hospital, looking for Twilight Sparkle’s room while trying to ignore the curious glances of passing nurse ponies. When she’d been with Brendon, she’d experienced very little embarrassment. Now, her cheeks seemed almost permanently pink at the seemingly constant looks.
Earlier she had dropped off her drawings (they were hers now) at her home and stuffed them deep in her underwear drawer. Then she had quickly gone through the house collecting laundry. She grabbed her dirty clothes, thrown them in a basket, and then gone to the guest bedroom. Brendon's clothes were thrown half hazzard all over, but she daintily picked them up and added them to the pile before taking them to the wash room. She also grabbed her sheets and threw his sheets in with her own in a separate basket.
As she was carrying this last load, she could swear there was something funny in the air. What was that smell? Suddenly she was getting very warm. Was she allergic to something? Was she getting sick? All of a sudden, her whole body was-
"Oh my !"
She'd have to get herself checked out, this didn't feel normal. But she had no time at that moment, she had promised to visit Twilight at the hospital. With that she had flown straight over to check on her dear friend. All the while trying to push away the feelings within her. She thought she might be okay. When she'd arrived, the pony at the front desk had said there’d been no change at all, but Fluttershy wanted to see her anyway.
“Please be awake, Twilight,” she whispered to herself. “Please .”
She pushed open the door to her room. Silence filled every corner. Sunlight came in through the windows, revealing a beautiful outside view. She could see the wind wafting the tree branches. But inside all was unmoving cleanliness and stillness. Some nice decorative plants made it seem less rigid, but all Fluttershy could hear was the small breathing of Twilight Sparkle. A blanket covered her up to her neck and, apart from her head turned a different way, Fluttershy thought nothing had changed since last she’d been to visit her friend. She sat down next to the bed, her ears back, her hands gripping her knees in worry.
“Oh, Twilight. I hope you’ll be okay.”
The pause which followed felt as though it needed to be filled.
“I...I wish you could see what’s going on! I don’t know if anyone told you, but a human is here, in Ponyville! His name is Brendon and we threw him a surprise party and we’re going to take him on a camping trip and how I wish you could make it. I’m sure you’d like it. I mean, maybe. If you wanted to go, I mean. It’d be okay if you didn’t. I wouldn’t mind.”
She shook her head. Normally she wasn’t this chatty, but it seemed easier when her audience would never speak back. Or give her looks like Angel did.
“Oh, how I wish you were awake. I’d ask you if you had any books on humans. I’m sure it’d help me be a, um, that is, I mean, umm, a better friend to him. I’m sure a pony like you would’ve taken all sorts of notes on humans when you were over there, wouldn’t you? If only you were awake to tell me…”
“...humans…”
Fluttershy gasped. It was so faint that if not for her own pause, there was no way she would have heard it. For a second, Fluttershy wondered if she had heard anything. She edged closer to the bed and leaned in a bit.
“T-twilight? Did you say something…?”
“...save...research…”
Her lips barely moved, but her eyes squinted as if she was in pain. Fluttershy tried to understand.
“Research? You mean, um, on humans?” A surge of hope almost made her jump right out of her seat in happiness. A wild, reckless feeling crept into her body, warm and a bit familiar; it seemed as though it might take hold of her any second. She had no idea where this came from, but her mind couldn’t focus on anything else but this One Possibility. She tried to force herself to act calm. “D-do y-y-you - I mean, c-c-can you tell me where it is?”
“...desk...under…”
“What? Under what ?”
“...sealed...let me open for...uhh…” Her voice trailed off and then there was nothing but silence.
“Twilight?” she whispered.
Nothing.
“Twilight?” she said it out loud.
Still nothing.
Twilight breathed in.
She breathed out.
Fluttershy looked around slowly. She got up, looked out the hallway in both directions, and carefully closed the door. She silently walked back over to her dear friend’s bedside and once again sat down. Sweat beaded on her face. Her hands were clenched in her lap, trembling. An eye twitched. A few strands of her hair suddenly came undone and sprung up like tiny springs from her head. Her gaze would have burned a hole through diamond.
She breathed in slowly. Held it, and let it out.
Silence.
Fluttershy lunged forward, grabbed Twilight by the shoulders and shook her like a ragdoll.
“YOU - HAVE - TO - TELL - ME - WHERE - THAT - BOOK - IS!NEEEEEEED - IT!”
At every syllable she shook the unconscious pony, Twilight’s head bobbing in time with her friend’s pleading voice.
“I - NEED - TO - FIND - OUT-”
The shaking became a constant vibration, Twilight almost disappearing in a blur of flashing shades of purple.
“HOW-
“TO-
“MAKE-
“HIM-
“LOVE ME!”
The nurse team's response time was surprisingly quick. In a few seconds, a nurse pony burst into the room.
“What’s going on in here?!”
Fluttershy turned to the door. She was seated in the chair next to the bed. Twilight Sparkle lay asleep in perfect peace; the half hazard blanket about her feet being the only evidence that anything had happened. That and the fact that her hair was a giant explosion of fluff around her head. Fluttershy smiled up at the nurse.
“Oh, I do apologize. I’m sorry if I disturbed somepony. I was just so concerned on helping my dear friend wake up again.”
“Again?”
“I’ll go now. Thank you for taking good care of her.”
The nurse looked dumbfounded at the calm scene before her as Fluttershy walked serenely out. Her stride became just a tiny bit faster as she left the hospital, and her tail would not stop swishing. The wild, reckless feeling was still there, but for now it had gone back to sleep. No, that wasn't quite right. It was waiting.
* * *
Spike and I had enjoyed a filling, enjoyable meal with great conversation. Even after we finished and made our way back to the library, he was enthralling me with tales of his time with his good, pony friends.
“So then Fluttershy says, ‘I’d like to be a tree!’”
I laughed, picturing the polite face of that yellow pegasus trying to make everything okay by volunteering to be a tree. For some reason I practically giggled.
“I’d like to be a tree! Ha !”
It was with these smiles on our faces that we opened the door to the library, and were greeted by the bizarre scene within.
"What happened?!" Spike exclaimed.
A desk on one side had been tipped over. Next to it was a rug that had been ripped up to reveal a wooden trap door. It was open, revealing a rather small passageway with a very narrow staircase winding down.
"Where does that lead?" I asked Spike.
"I-I don't know! That's not the normal door to the basement!"
"Well...we'd better check it out."
"No, we don't."
"Yes, we do."
"No, we don't-"
"You're a fire breathing dragon ! What could you possibly be afraid of?"
"Do I look brave? Look at me! You're way taller than me. You go first. I'll be right behind you."
"Me?! I don't know what even lives in this world! I don't have magic, or wings, or...something! What can I do?"
"So...we're not going?" Spike couldn't hide his delight.
I glared at him. "Ho, yes we are! You're coming with me, and you are not running away. Here: take my hand."
"What?"
"Hold-my-hand! I'm not taking the chance you'd leave me behind."
"Hey! Do I look like a coward?"
I squinted at him in silence, my hand still outstretched.
"Oooooh, fine !"
And with that, we boldly went down the dark passage in single file, holding hands like any two brave males should. Sure. We'll go with that.
Awkward yet effective. That's what I'll file this under. And never think of it again.
It turned out our fears were completely unfounded. After about half a minute we encountered a stone wall blocking the entire width of the passageway.
"Huh? That's it?" I said.
"Wait," Spike said as he pushed past me to inspect the wall. "Look here! This wall was magically sealed, and I bet my scales it was Twilight that did it!"
"How do you know?"
"Right here in the middle, that symbol is her cutie mark."
"Huh. So whomever came down here must have been looking for something but couldn't get to it because of this seal?"
"I guess. Seems silly, really. I can't imagine what it would even take to break this down."
"Well, we got a little mystery. I guess we'd better let the others know. Lord knows I wouldn't know where to start."
* * *
Fluttershy was…"frustrated."
She'd flown into The Golden Oak Library through a window, thrown aside the desk Twilight mentioned, ripped up the small rug, torn open the door, and then found a wall. A Wall! She pushed, prodded, and even begged it to move. All to no avail. She got so fed up she just screamed with all her might.
(Meanwhile, a passing bird happened to rest for a moment on the lip of the library's open window. The sounds of what might have been a tiny mouse squeak echoed up from a small hole in the floor.)
After that moment of unimaginable rage, she kicked the wall with all of her might.
(The scuttling mouse wandered across the floor and heard a small Tink! as though a pebble had been disturbed. )
Feeling herself begin to calm, Fluttershy was very disappointed in herself.
"Oh no, " she softly moaned. "What's come over me? I should never acted so rude and violent . Maybe I'm sick? Yes, that must be it. I'll go see Zecora. Maybe she can give me something to fix me. Ooooooh, I've been a very bad pony."
With that, Fluttershy flew away, shame burning her face. She turned to the Everfree Forest, planning on delving deep within to find the hut of a very wise somepony.
Author's Note
Oh I'm such a tease. Seriously, though, sorry this is, like, the shortest chapter ever. More to come, but wanted to squeak out this one for now.
(Did I just compare my chapter to a fart? Ugh...)
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What do you mean, "friend?"
Chapter 11) Potentially Problematic Planning
“So let me get this straight,” said Rainbow Dash. “Twilight secretly put up some wall, in some secret entrance, and somepony broke in, found it, and tried to get past it and they couldn’t?”
We - Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Spike, Rainbow Dash,and myself - were all standing in the library surveying the situation. It’s been about a half hour of waiting until we could get the message around to everyone who could come, and we’d just concluded what little we had found.
Spike scratched his head. “Well, it sure looks that way. I mean, we can only guess at the last part, but there’s no way the thief, or whatever, could have put the wall back up after they got in.”
“Spike, do you have any idea at all what might be behind that?” said Applejack.
“No, not at all. I never even saw her put all this together! But then, with the whole portal stuff, I guess it’s not the only thing she’s done that I didn’t know about.”
“Oh, wow!” said Pinkie. “A secret entrance and secret walls with secrety secrets secretly hidden so secretly! It’s so exciting !” She bounced up and down with glee.
How is she making those little BOING noises? Am I the only one who hears this?
Applejack sighed. “Ah just wish we knew what this pony was even after.”
I was getting a little frustrated, myself, just standing there. I wasn’t going to make any headway on this; I didn’t have nearly enough information. The more I thought about it, the more I felt like I was putting a puzzle together without the pieces or the picture on the box. Plus, was there anything I could really do about it? Then something occurred to me.
“Hey, where’s Fluttershy and Rarity?”
"Ah 'spect Fluttershy is still visiting Twilight at the hospital," said Applejack. "Poor thing probably doesn't want to give up hope that she'll wake up."
I nodded thoughtfully, wondering how I'd react if a best friend of mine were in a coma.
"And...?"
“Rarity?” said Rainbow. “Uhhh. She’s, um, not feeling well. She's still…"
"Oh," I said.
"Yeah."
Spike looked from one to the other. "What? What's wrong with Rarity?"
All the ponies said in unison: "Mare problems."
"Oh. So that means I can't go see her?"
"No, Spike!" Applejack almost yelled at the poor, cringing dragon. "From what Ah heard on mah way over here, she's in a bit of a state and it's probably best no stallion or...dragon be around her until at least tomorrow noontime."
Her eyes turned to me and I saw a Look that made a small voice inside me cry out in primal fear.
Not my jumblies!
"And you better not go a hundred yards near her. We can't risk a whiff of you flyin' in through a window and settin' her off again."
I raised an eyebrow. "Wait, what?! It can be set off by smell ?"
Pheromones. Of course! That's why she was sniffing me. And why she smelled...so...so...so...
"Well, maybe. At this point Ah ain't takin' no chances."
Spike again looked from one to the other. "What are you guys talking about?"
"Yeah, Brendon," said Rainbow as she crossed her arms. Her tone was so smug you could hear the smirk, "Tell him what happened."
That snapped me out of La-La land. I glared at Rainbow for a moment.
"You know what? Maybe I will."
The shocked look on all the ponies faces was priceless. Well, except for Pinkie Pie who had somehow pulled out a large armchair and a massive tub of popcorn. She was watching this unfold like the best day time show around. Again I marveled at her...abilities(?).
She summons objects from nowhere! What sorcery is this?
"Spike?"
"Yeah?"
"Walk with me over here. I have something I need to tell you. It's best if you hear it from me before word gets around."
"Huh?!"
I carefully laid my arm around his shoulder and walked with him to the far side of the room. When I was sure it was private enough, I whispered in his ear. To ensure there was no misunderstanding, I took my time as I explained. He nodded from time to time. I glanced over at one point and saw the anxious mares who were trying not to look like they were looking at us. The only loud noises were the "Nom nom nom! " coming from Pinkie Pie as she uprighted the tub of popcorn into her mouth. After some time passed I stopped talking and patted Spike's shoulder. His head drooped down. He looked up at me for a second as I gently smiled and nodded.
Spike lashed out and punched me hard in arm. I stepped back as he marched out the door.
"Spike," Applejack called after him, her arm outstretched in concern. He didn't even pause in his stride.
"I don't want to talk about it." And with that, he was gone.
Three pairs of caring eyes turned back at me and three pairs of ears pulled back.
I put my hands in my pockets, smiled sadly, and said, "He'll be alright. Just give him some time. But, honestly, I'd leave him alone for the rest of the day."
All heads looked back out the door, as if they could still see the lone, purple figure they all knew and loved. What were they all thinking?
I knew what I was thinking.
Don't look them in the eye. Just walk out.
My gaze on the ground, I strolled between them and out the door.
"You gonna be okay, Brendy?" came the far too adorable voice of Pinkie Pie.
I stopped, not looking back. I couldn't stand them to see my expression.
"Yeah, I think so. We should probably get ready for that trip."
With that I strolled off. The last thing I heard over my shoulder was Rainbow Dash's voice. "Oh yeah! I think I can make it, but I can't shake the feeling I have something this weekend. Oh well, if I remember…" she trailed off and I was out of ear shot.
When I was sure no one important was able to see me, I started to run. Before long I was going full tilt. But this wasn't a straight line back to the cottage. No, I had to get a good sweat going.
It was all part of the Plan.
Way to go, Spike. You were perfect.
My smile, which had been building since I walked out the door, was now a childish grin. I struggled not to giggle like a little boy. I failed that struggle.
"Hee hee hee hee hee hee! Oh, Spike , my new brother from another mother! You're going to be So happy with me!"
I ran on. The sounds of giggling followed. Three sets of eyes also followed me from the shadows. After a moment of whispered deliberation, they took off after me.
* * *
Fluttershy had finally reached Zecora's hut, deep in the Everfree forest. Even flying, it was difficult to find a break in the canopy of trees this deep in the forest, and she still had to walk a good deal after that. She did make sure to take extra care to not touch any of the poisoned joke that grew nearby. She'd had more than enough of that plant.
Despite the calm, serene forest around her, Fluttershy could not calm her heart. Her mind continually flitted between thoughts of Brendon, her plan for the weekend, the need to get that book from Twilight's secret room, and many other things that she believed had no rhyme or reason to them. Showers, clothes, cutie marks, a bed, an empty tent, photos, and more. She felt like she was almost vibrating, and she could not seem to cool down. She tried to take a deep breath as she approached the hut, but it did little to abate her jitters.
After knocking politely, she opened the door and just came right in, her tail twitching behind her.
Zecora looked up from a table where she was grinding something in a pestle. She smiled when she saw her friend.
"Who is this buzzing like a fly?
Fluttershy waved her fingers. "H-hello, Zecora. I, um, I think I may need some help with...something."
"Well, please tell me, my friend,
"I think I'm, um, sick. Maybe. I can't calm down and I've been...very...bad."
"That will require more explanation
Fluttershy sighed deeply, her ears drooping as she succumbed to the inevitable. She'd have to tell somepony .
She ran through her whole day with Zecora, who paused now and then to ask her to clarify some details about today or yesterday. Who was this living in her house? Why was she wearing that outfit? When did the symptoms really first start? What was she doing? What was wrong with Rarity? What did she need from Twilight Sparkle? What were her interactions like with this human? Fluttershy hesitantly spoke at length to the zebra's rhyming inquiries. She was a bit confused at how Zecora would occasionally chuckle softly at some of her answers. Fluttershy was rather forthcoming on most details, except when it came to the conversation with Rarity and the content of the drawings. She turned incredibly crimson and Zecora had to lean in very close to hear half of what she said through her stammering and rapid fire apologies. Eventually, through a process like prying teeth, the story was finished. What she did not say, Zecora must have gleamed, for though she had questions, they were far less prying than Fluttershy imagined.
Zecora silently walked over to take a book from her shelf and set it at her work table. She opened it among the various jars of herbs, liquids, and various strange implements - the purpose of which Fluttershy had no idea. When she found the page she was looking for, she began grabbing various glass vials from several different wooden shelves nearby. (Fluttershy thought they looked like spice racks.) She began emptying them what appeared to be a small cauldron that was bubbling over a tiny fire, its color changing hue with each powder, herb, or fluid that sunk beneath its swirling surface.
Unable to stand the silence anymore, Fluttershy piped up. "Umm, excuse me. Can you tell me what's wrong with me?"
Zecora glanced up with a knowing smile.
"What is wrong? Nothing, my sweet.
"H-h-heat?!" Fluttershy felt like she was going pale and red at the same time. "B-b-but I've never felt this way when I've had heat before. A-a-and I'm not even due until next week. Oooh. How could this happen?"
Zecora stirred her concoction, lifting up her wooden spoon every now and then as though inspecting the drippings.
"It seems that something rather new
For a second, Fluttershy felt the urge to cover herself, but it wasn't her body that was being revealed right now. It was something far more important.
Meanwhile, Zecora had reached into the pot and pulled out a dripping mass which she quickly wrapped in a series of large leaves. Then she carefully placed this over a little cooking grate that was sitting over the burning fire in the middle of her hut. A small sizzling sound could be heard as a few droplets fell into the flames, causing oddly colored smoke to flare out in odd directions.
"But that is not all that brought this change,
Fluttershy thought that she should be shocked, but instead the feeling that came over her was altogether different. She felt a kind of relief that spread through her like a brief calm over stormy waters. No argument came to her lips; it died long before she could even think of one. The truth, rather than rudely forcing itself to the forefront, was gently accepted by every part of her. All events, all images, all feelings and gestures passed through her mind. The memory of every shiver and thrill seemed to go through her body. And her lips echoed the cry inside of her heart as she gave a small smile and said, "Yes. Yes, I think I am."
Zecora's features softened as she nodded at Fluttershy. She turned back to the fire with a small poker in hand and prodded the little leaf, wrapped package over the fire. As she stared into the flames, she continued:
"All of this has been so new
With that, she grabbed a cloth and took the small item from the grate, carefully laying it on the table. She took a small knife and dipped it into a jar of some kind of pink, creamy substance. As she unwrapped the now steaming package, she spread a pink covering all over it.
Fluttershy tilted her head as she tried to get a good look at it.
"Is...is that a pill I need to take?"
"A pill is not what I want you to take.
It was indeed a small, cake with what appeared to be pink icing.
"When jumping your stallion you feel compelled,
"Oh my. I, uh, I - that is - I might not, ummm." Fluttershy sighed. "Yes, I think I will probably need that."
Zecora giggled into her hand, then placed the little cake into a small bag and tied with a bow.
"Perhaps you don't know the truthbreeding ,man ."
Fluttershy smiled with happiness and embarrassment as she accepted the bag. She stood there, holding it with both hands, looking up at Zecora from out of her mane.
"Th-thank you, Zecora. Not just for this, but for listening to me and...everything ." She hopped forward to give the tall zebra a soft hug. Zecora returned it and to Fluttershy her arms seemed supportive and encouraging.
"One last piece of advice:
"M-m-m-muh-muh-muh-marriage ?"
Zecora shrugged with a little grin.
"Perhaps it's a thought for another time,
Fluttershy just looked at Zecora. She blinked a few times.
All at once they both burst out laughing. Her eyes tearing up even as her sides hurt from laughter, Fluttershy said her thank yous and good-byes as she opened the door to the dim forest, and a brighter day. Zecora tapped her on the shoulder before she left.
"One more thing before you go:
* * *
Towering trees, flower filled fields, and birds bursting will song: all of these things flew past me as I ran. My adrenaline was going, my arms were pumping, and an old exhilaration I had thought I'd forgotten seemed to be beating within every part of me as thought it was in time with my heart. The excitement of the new! The giddiness of a wonderful surprise! And in the background of it all was the child-like glee of just feeling the wind in my face and just running through the outdoors for the simple sake of just running. How many times had I forgotten this as I huddled in my room, slaving away at endless video games, the life-sucking drain of the internet, and hiding away from my pain and loneliness in...more loneliness? I was so wrapped up in these thoughts, I didn't hear the soft thunder of hooves catching up to me.
"Hey there, mister. Whatcha' runnin' for?"
"What the - ?"
BUSH!
I had intended to jump a small shrub, when a small, smiling face appeared at my elbow. So instead of a leap filled with grace, I plowed right through it. My feet stumbled as my body tumbled, heading right for a -
TREE!
Luckily I put my hands up just in time to careen on its trunk rather than crash directly into it. This sent me off at an odd angle, where I cratered into the -
GROUND!
My face slid to a stop after several feet, dragging my body with it. The grass beneath me muffled my groaning of pain.
Ow.
I didn't want to get up. Better to just sit there in peace and pain than the humiliation of having beaten myself up against a bunch of landscaping. Suddenly, I felt a finger poke my leg
"Umm, are you alright?"
I sat up. Surrounding me were three little fillies. My overtly simple, male brain strained to comprehend the colors before my eyes. For me, life tended to be simple when it came to such spectrums. All things fell into categories of Red, Blue, Green, Yellow, Orange, etc. Anything fancy was a variation thereof, and if one didst speak to me of such lofty things like "majenta" and "puce" I wouldst reply, "I'll partake of no such heresies! It's pink and purple! Away with thee!" So it was with such barbaric eyes that I looked upon these three.
You're bright yellow with red mane (and an earth pony), you're white-ish grey with purple and pink mane (and a unicorn), and you're...orange? With dark purple? (Pegasus) That'll do.
I massaged the back of my neck. "...ugh, yeah, I think I'm okay. Hello, by the way." I waved feebly.
"Hi!" They all said it in unison. Their smiles were so huge, their eyes so big, that I fought back the urge to adopt the face I reserve for big puppies and say, "Awwww, whose a big widdle smoochy-smooch! Yes you are! Yes you are!"
"Are you that ooman everyone's talking about?" That was the orange one.
"You mean human? Yep, that's me." I held out my hand. "My name's Brendon."
I found my hand gripped by three fuzzy little palms and shaken up and down, then three (oh, so sweet and cutesy wootsy) voices all said in unison, "Hi! We're the Cutie Mark Crusaders!"
I was losing this battle. The cuteness was swarming over my battlements and taken the gate house. Soon it would move in...
Meanwhile, a huge smile came unbidden to my face. "Oooooh, I think I've heard of you! Now let me guess which one of you is Apple Bloom."
I scanned their faces in mock seriousness, my brow furrowed as though I was inspecting them as a drill sergeant. After what I figured was enough time, I pointed to the yellow and red one. Her outfit showed a clear "farmer's daughter" theme, not to mention her accent gave her away.
"You must Apple Bloom!"
She smiled big and her eyes went wide.
Oh child, if you only knew. I'm a moron. And dear GAWD that huge bow in your hair is adorable.
"And I assume you're related to Applejack?"
"Yep! That's my big sister!"
Naturally.
I then got up and started pacing back and forth in front of them, my chin in my hand as I eyed them with a smile.
"Aaaaaand which of you is Sweetie Belle?"
I tried not to stare as the little unicorn leaned forward, her mouth open in anticipation, her eyes brimming with the hope of being picked.
Bingo.
"It just has to be you!"
Sweetie Belle did a little jump in the air, her little dress bouncing with her. "Yaaay! It is me!"
I then stopped in front of the last one. To me she looked like she was almost a mini Rainbow Dash, just by her outfit and overall poise. "So you must be Scootaloo."
"How-how did you hear so much about us?"
I grinned. "Oh, once I heard about the Cutie Mark Crusaders, I knew it'd be an honor to run into you!"
And more cuteness than I can handle.
They all collectively gasped, their hands under their chins in disbelief at their fame. I reached down and rubbed a sore knee, smiling painfully.
"Next time, though, please don't sneak up on me like that."
Sweetie Belle stepped forward, her ears back. "Ohhhh, we're real sorry, Mister Brendon. We were just so excited to meet someone from another world !"
"Mister Brendon." I'm going to cry!
I ruffled her mane playfully. "Oh, don't worry about it. It happens. It should probably teach me to pay attention so i don't bounce off more trees."
"By the way," queried Scootaloo. "What were you doing, running so much? You look tired."
"Do I?" I was suddenly aware of the sweat under my armpits and dripping down my face. I also noticed that my breathing wasn't as labored as I'd thought, and I'd gone at it for a good ten minutes, if I wasn't mistaken. Usually that meant my throat would be burning and my chest in pain.
"Well...that's a secret." I winked at them and they grinned back at me. "But enough about me, tell me, oh Crusaders of the Cutie Mark, how goes your quest?"
"Well, we've tried to see if we would get marks for cleaning, dancing, door making, paint drying, fish catching..." The list went on and on. And on and on and on. Each filly picked up where the other left off. My eyes bugged out my head a bit when they mentioned the "Sky diving" and the "Octopus wrestling," but I didn't interrupt. I nodded my head as I smiled, admiring their spunk and passion. It was practically inspiring.
They really want to know who they are. A feeling I know too well. What am I doing here? What's my purpose? Does my name mean anything? Where do I fit in? Damn it! I'm going to tear up!
I wiped my eye without thinking as the three came to a close. Scootaloo concluded for them.
"...and then we thought maybe we'd try for our human chasing marks. And I think that's about it."
There was a long pause.
"Whoa," I said. "That's a lot. I wish I could help."
Sweetie Belle looked thoughtful. "Well, when did you get your cutie mark?"
"That's...kind of a big difference in my world. We don't get cutie marks."
The collective gasps could have inhaled a butterfly.
"But," said Apple Bloom, "But then how do you know what you're really good at?"
I shrugged. "I'm starting to think it's harder for us than for you fillies over here. At least you find out for certain. Some of us humans may live a long time unsure of what we should do or who we are. I know that's big stuff for you guys, but I want you to know that you should never give up."
They reminded me a lot of my nieces and nephews. Young(er) and so full of hope. The possibilities were all so bright and in front of them.
Shouldn't it be the same for me? For anyone if you think about it?
I started hating how cynical I had been at times. Even now I fought with a part of myself as to whether they just needed to grow up and figure out the way the world really was. The world would beat this out of them and pull them back to reality. Another part of me cried that it wasn't so!
"Mister...are you okay?" Apple Bloom's voice somehow broke my heart. My mind felt all torn up from just a few moments of contemplation.
Don't worry about me! It's too late for this broken man. Life ran me over with a truck years ago. You go on and live! Live, child! It's so beautiful!
I wanted to say that, but instead I sniffed and just replied, "Just thinking of home for a sec. Did you hear I can't ever go back there?"
"No!" They gasped again in unison.
"Yeah I...I, uh. I'm sorry, kids. You're great but I..."
I stopped myself. I couldn't end it with them like this. I shouldn't pull them down with me in my darkness. And I also didn't want to leave them.
"Hey! What are you three doing tomorrow?"
"Uhhh," said Scootaloo. "Not much."
"How would you like it if we had some fun. Played some games, and maybe see if there's some human cutie mark that we can get you?"
"Yaaay! That sounds great!"
"Then I'll come find you tomorrow!" I saluted them and started my run again. "Good luck in your quest, crusaders!"
What made me do that? I never think to do that. Ah. But I rarely got to do that with the kids at home. They lived so far away. Much further now. Damn it!
I put my head down and let some of the tears fall, slowing down a bit so I didn't run into anything else. It was time to head back to the cottage. Get my head on other things. Like the Plan.
Once again, I went over in my head my whispered conversation with Spike. I almost laughed into my hand. Never before had I been so devious. Maybe.
Author's Note
The next part is here! Take a wild guess which part took the longest amount of time?
Complete ADHD moment: Other authors put warnings before "clop" sections. Is that a requirement or just being polite? Just wondering. Also, no, the next chapter will not be filled with clop. This is not a free preview.
Give me two chapters at least.
~~EDIT: A QUESTION TO MY READERS. HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO INFLUENCE MY STORY?~~
~~POTENTIALLY VERY TINY SPOILER~~
EDIT: This is over and it was actually great no one responded, as I think I came up with a good one. Or it's going to suck. *shrugs* Eh.
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What do you mean, "friend?"
Chapter 12) Unplanned Peaks and Happy Humping
About an hour earlier...
"Spike?"
"Yeah?"
"Walk with me over here. I have something I need to tell you. It's best if you hear it from me before word gets around."
"Huh?!"
I carefully laid my arm around his shoulder and walked with him to the far side of the room. When I was sure it was private enough, I whispered in his ear.
"Okay, Spike, I'm going to keep looking serious, and I need you to look like I'm giving you horrible news. Don't say anything. Look concerned and nod your head."
He did.
"Good. I'll explain everything later, and don't worry! I have an idea and this is going to be great ! Don't look excited. Keep looking sad, and nod."
Once again, Spike silently complied. I glanced back at the others, who still thought I was giving Spike "The News." Good. I turned back to Spike.
"Here's what you're gonna do, cause they can't find out what we're doing or they'll definitely try and stop us. You need to meet me just before sunset at Fluttershy's cottage. Only walk up if I'm alone out front. Now, we need to make sure they don't follow you when you leave. When I finish talking, droop your head like I just gave you the worst news you've ever heard. I'm gonna tap you on the shoulder and then you're going to punch me hard in the arm. Do it. Don't ask why. Then march out like you're angry and if anyone says anything, just say 'I don't want to talk about it.' Now I'd ask if you got that, but I'm going to explain it one more time."
I repeated everything and asked if he got it. He nodded one last time. Then I told him to droop his head. After that it was perfect. Spike did everything I asked.
Good man - uh, I mean, dragon.
* * *
Present time...
Exhausted and dripping sweat, I stood outside of Fluttershy's front door. My hands were on my knees for support, and I began to feel a good kind of tired. Sure, I'd be sore tomorrow, but it was a soreness that made me stronger. I smiled at the familiar sensation. Today had been a very good day. So far.
After saying goodbye to the Cutie Mark Crusaders, I pushed myself as hard as I could possibly go. I figured it'd take a short time to get back to the cottage, but I underestimated how badly I had gotten turned around. It was just as well, for I was now puffing like a steam engine and I knew without a doubt that if my plan for Spike was to succeed, I had done half the job perfectly. Now for the hard part.
I picked up my head, still puffing from my exertion. Just a few more minutes. Then I'd head in. But this was so comfortable right now. Just a minute. And that minute came earlier than I thought.
At first I believed I was hearing the wind until the *Thump!* behind me said differently.
Don't be Rainbow Dash. Please don't be Rainbow Dash.
It wasn't. It was worse/better.
As I turned my head, I saw that there stood Fluttershy: incredibly pretty in her cute outfit. No, not pretty. Sexy. My tired brain fought for something to say. Nothing safe came to mind. In rapid succession I cycled down a list that consisted of (but was not limited to): "Damn, girl," "Didn't you just drop put of heaven," "If I said you had a hot body," "Can I help you out of that?", and "Duh duh dur duh dur."
I stood up straight and went with the most brazen one I could muster.
"Hi."
Fluttershy nodded her head and made a little, "Mmm," noise. The sound set off a now familiar sensation I had to name as my "cuteness sense." Right in my gut it twisted in knots, but knots of brightly colored ribbons. If it gave me butterflies in the stomach, they were glittery with confetti raining down behind them. And I felt it tingle my face as it forced a smile and a desire to either laugh or giggle. My inner "Man Card" cried out that it was in need of renewal. But even as my new sense was tingling, I could see that Fluttershy was clearly nervous.
She had turned her head halfway from me, one eye hidden in that shining, pink mane. She also seemed to be shifting from hoof to hoof a little as she clutched at a little satchel she had over her shoulder. It was decorated with some beads and had an interesting design in its making. Her eyes darted to it at least twice as I watched her.
"Hey, are you okay?"
Now she was looking at the door with an almost pained look on her face. I stood between her and it, and I was getting the impression she really needed to get past me.
"I...I wasn't expecting you to be home," she whimpered (there was no other word for it). "I mean, um."
"Look, it's okay. If you need the bathroom that bad, just go ahead." I stepped up and opened the door for her.
"Wait! How did you -? Oh, yes. The bathroom. Yes, I really do." She practically sagged with relief, and then trotted in to her house.
Just before she past me and went hrough the door, she stopped and I saw her clearly sniff the air. Once. Twice. Her head slowly swiveled to look at me and her stare...gave me great pause.
Were her pupils always that size?
For three seconds she trembled all over and then ran inside, a tiny "Excuse me!" thrown over her shoulder.
I stood there wondering what I had just witnessed. Why was she so nervous? Did she really need to go that badly? What was in that satchel? Did she normally get like that? I'd only known her for two and a half days. Maybe.
Maybe she has a gift for me in there and she's scared I'll get wind of the surprise?
It was as good a theory as any. It was odd the way she sniffed for a second. Did I really stink that much?
Well, I should. It's all part of the…
"...plan," I said aloud. My mind was suddenly trying to see if 5 and 5 made 10. Was it possible that…?
No. She's not in heat. Rarity is. Stupid. Don't read too much into things. It's not like you're an expert on ponies, anyway. Or females in general.
Anyway, it was time to get out of these clothes and change. I sniffed my armpit. A shower would be good, too.
Man, I'm taking a crap-ton of showers.
When I got to my room, I was unnerved by the lack of dirty laundry. Had Fluttershy taken it all? Even the bedsheets ?
Did she know what happened? Was that why she was nervous? Did she think I was jackin' it and now she thinks I'm a perv?
-Holy shit! Slow down! You have no idea what's going on. Don't drive yourself nuts.
Sighing deeply, I nodded and peeled off my practically sweat soaked clothes. I then grabbed the other set Rarity had made for me and peaked out, down the hallway. The bathroom was closed and I could see a light under the door. There was a distinct sound of running water. I ducked back to my room and waited a few minutes until I heard the bathroom door open. There followed a sound I couldn't place, so I gently cracked open my door and listened. It was Fluttershy, and she was making a continual stream of "Ooh no," "Ooh my ," and a series of whimpering squeaks. Something was definitely up.
No time to worry about that now. I'm naked and sweaty. It's time to Run!
I shot down the hall and into the bathroom. Being tired and with a little time to kill, I decided to have a longer shower. I really took my time and enjoyed the warmth and feel of the water. Then I started wracking my brain for a song to sing.
Something I haven’t sung in a long time. Damn. Something long and with a lot of feeling. And I love singing high notes. Oh, there’s so many and now that I want to think of it, I can’t!
This went on for a stupid amount of time, when finally it hit me: “Bat out of Hell” by Meatloaf. Yes! That was a song that seemed to require every inch of me to get into it, to let loose the feeling inside. I went at it.
Man, this is so much shorter without the instrumental bits.
A little over five minutes later, I was out and toweling off when I heard a sound. A couple of sounds.
“Does Fluttershy have mice in her house? Hmmm. Maybe a whole family by the sound if it.”
I was looking at myself in the mirror while I spoke. It was funny to me as I watched myself change expression to answer my own question with a shrug. Someone once told me that most of the men in my family get caught up in their own reflections, and I was no different. It was like I was my own audience for entertainment, like a really dumb and short reality show. I shrugged.
“Ehhh, in this world they probably have a tiny table with chairs and they’re having their own tea. Best leave it along.”
The sound had by now stopped, but it sounded like they were in the walls nearby. Possibly near Fluttershy’s room. “Oh well, no time for that. Time to see a dragon about a mare!” And with that I dropped my sweaty clothes in my own bag and went off to the front door to wait for Spike.
Turns out I didn’t have to wait long.
* * *
Fluttershy slammed the door to the bathroom behind her. She had just rushed in after having…”experienced” Brendon at the front door. It had been almost terrifying and she was trembling all over.
First, she had never expected to see him right there when she landed. For a second she had wanted to take off immediately, but that would have been so rude. So she was trapped! There he was and she didn’t know how to stand being near him when her heat was building. She tried to not stare at the way his pants hugged his...everything back there. And the way he was bent over. And the way his shoulders seemed so broad and strong and wouldn’t she just love to run a hand over all of that...stallion .
She snapped out of it as he turned his head to look at her. Again she realized she was caught. Could she get away with eating a bit of the cake in her satchel? What if he asked her about it? She needed to get past him but that meant, well, walking right past him. This sweating, smiling, panting (oh how she’d make him pant some more) man. After an awkward exchange, he offered her the open door. She had panicked inside when he mentioned she had to go to the bathroom. How did he know she Needed to cool down? The feel of cold water on her skin would be such a relief. Then she realized the out that he had given her. She took it.
And he had opened the door like a gentleman. That was very nice of him. He deserved a reward. Maybe a gentle nuzzle and then she’d - ! Fluttershy had to restrain herself again. Her whole body told her that if she started anything she’d need do something else and then something else and then it would be...rather heated. She wasn’t sure how much of her fantasies at this moment were because of the heat, or because she knew she was in heat and it was a (wonderful, blissful) excuse for her to give herself permission to have them.
With all this bouncing through her skull, she was about to walk through the door. Then an odor hit her nostrils. What was that ? She sniffed the air deeply. It was musky, but somehow it seemed so...masculine. She sniffed again. She couldn’t think anymore. It was enticing her. Nearly overwhelming her in her fragile state. Quick as a flash she knew where it came from. She slowly turned her head, all the while telling herself she shouldn’t, and looked straight at Brendon. That smell. That heavenly smell. It was him ! For three seconds it took all her effort to stand still. Her whole body trembled with the effort to not jump on him and then rip the clothes off - Her thoughts were interrupted by a warm feeling of liquid sliding down her leg. Her loins were aching and a twitch in her panties finally told her she had to do something fast . She wasn’t sure how she managed it but she ran inside and was upstairs in the bathroom, slamming the door behind her.
“Ohhh. Oh no. Oh my. Oh my . Oooh My! ”
This repeated itself, in one form or another, for a minute or two as Fluttershy tried to still herself by sheer force of will. Her words helped keep her thoughts from forming as she tried filling the spaces in her thoughts before other images wanted to fill them. Finally she rushed over and splashed cold water on her face.
“Ahhh!”
Slowly, it seemed, she was somewhat calming down. She stood up and looked at herself in the mirror. Then she daintily lifted her skirt and peeked at her panties.
“Oh no . I guess I’ll have to change my clothes too. Ohh, I’m such a bad pony!”
Quickly she rushed across the hall to her room, still muttering in her panic. She had been been there a second or two when she heard the bathroom door close again. Brendon had to be in there. What was he doing in there?
“No! I mustn’t think of that. I need Zecora’s cake.”
She reached into her satchel, careful not to touch the other package she carried, and pulled out the wrapped confection. Her mouth was open, the cake was inches from her tongue, when she heard the shower turn on.
Brendon. Naked. Again. But this time her mind went right to where it had been this morning in milliseconds, then far beyond that in three more seconds. She could make it all go away. She just had to eat the cake - no, not even that! She just had to nibble it. The whole cake would stop a rampaging mare in the middle of a mad charge. That was the picture Zecora has painted for her before she had left for good. Just a tiny bite, and she’d be in control of herself.
Now, however, she didn’t want to be. Her mind was filled with images that she knew would bring her great pleasure. Half of them made no sense, and she had barely a real idea of what breeding was really like. Just the thought of running her hands over his muscled body...
“No,” she whispered to the air. “No no no no no. Get a hold of yourself, Fluttershy. What do you really want."
This struggle lasted all of a minute. Then she knew what she had to do.
Dropping the cake back onto its wrapping, she backed herself against the door and listened. Her legs were already apart and her hand was lingering on her skirt, teasing herself through the twin fabrics of the skirt and her panties. Finally, knowing if she did nothing right now she’d run into the shower and beg him to wash her as well, she put one hand down and touched herself through her panties. They were already soaked and the soft contact send a single stream of liquid spilling over and down her leg. She nearly banged her skull on the door as she threw back her head. Gritting her teeth from the effort of holding back, she kept working her hand, trying to find every place where she could touch to find the most pleasure without going under the soaked, sticking fabric. She slid all the way down to the floor in a sitting position, her legs now spread out before her. Her throat ached at the effort to not let anything above a whisper escape her lips. And then the singing started.
This fired her up, knowing that Brendon couldn’t hear her with the water running and his own voice echoing in the bathroom. Her hand darted inside her panties and she pressed her fingers right up against her lips, feeling the juice squish around and between them. She moaned and squealed at the delight, her eyes wide open in astonishment at never having felt before this sheer amount of physical pleasure. She bit her lower lip, smiling so brightly at the idea that she was now letting go, uncaring of what happened and what she did. Brendon, himself, probably wouldn’t judge her if he saw her now. Oh, how she’d treat him if he did walk in at this very second.
All through this, part of her was trying to make sense of the song he was singing. Her own noises made it hard to make out. Something about a male wanting to be with a female so badly but then saying he had to leave her when it was all over. She definitely understood Brendon when he sang:
“If I gotta be damned, you know I wanna be damnedyou !”
Oh, that wasn’t dancing he was talking about. At the crash of his voice at the end of each “night” she rubbed herself harder. But then at the loud “you!” at the end she finally plunged one finger into herself. Fluttershy's breath caught in her throat. She practically fell over. The heat in her body, which had been building so much all this time, became nearly unbearable. Her skirt was fine, and she couldn't stand to put her legs back together to get them off. Her blouse on the other hand, needed to come off. She reached up and tugged upwards. When she tried to pull it over her chest, the touch of her hands told her how sensitive her breasts really were. She paused for an instant and then ripped the fabric in her desperate need to feel them. Grabbing at the butterfly shaped hole, she tore the whole thing in two and then grabbed her bra straps and pulled her bra downward. She placed a hand on one breast and gasped at the sensitivity. Her other hand slowly found its way back to the inside of her panties. The wet fabric practically clung to her fingers as they probed and searched for her private depths, knowing there had to be something else, something that would be the peak of this mountain of ecstasy. She writhed as she groped her breast and plunged one finger into herself.
Then Brendon's voice hit high and louder than it had hit before.
"When the day is done
In the brief pause she kept thinking here it comes. Here it comes.
And then he practically yelled the lines, filled with passion, and Fluttershy, not even knowing what it was that did it, found her "button" and came in an explosion of rapturous thrill that rang out inside her. Her back arched, her pelvis in the air as she cried out at the end of each line.
"Then like a sinner!"
"Ah !"
"Before!"
"Ugh !"
"The gates of Heaven
"Ooooooh ..."
She couldn't hear anything else he was singing. Not distinctly. The only sounds she could hear were her own, and the new sound of her cumming hard through her panties and spilling down to the floor. She rode a wave of feeling that didn't seem to end. Though it didn't peak like that moment she'd just had, still she couldn't stop touching herself. Her voice eventually devolved into a series of squeaks as she kept on riding wave after wave that hit her, all the while imagining it was the man touching her, the man making her feel good, and knowing he would somehow be so much better than this .
A few times she whispered his name in a kind of pleading desperation, as though her words would conjure him to her side. Like she'd somehow pull the man out if her fantasy and he'd be there in every way she desired.
His hand was on her breast. His hand?/penis?/something? was at the entrance to her sex.
"Ooh, Brendon please . Please please please, don't stop…"
The sound of water stopped and still she squeaked in a puddle of her fluids. Then she heard him say something.
Her hands pulled back like she'd been burned. She gasped and forced herself to stop breathing. She waited. Some other words came from the bathroom but her heartbeat was too loud as it thundered in her ears. She wanted to get up, but every part of her was exhausted. Still a smile lingered on her lips, even as part of her feared his walking in. Another part wanted it so much, thinking how she'd smile up at him and ask him to help her, oh please help her. Then she'd show him what she needed him to do.
When she heard him leave the bathroom and his footsteps quickly walking away, she let out a long breath in relief. So she lay there panting in near silence, a feeling of relief, longing, and guilt mixing together within her.
"Oh my," she said at last. "I really need to clean this up."
Standing up, she caught sight of herself in her mirror. Her hair was all out of place, the tattered remains of her blouse clung to her shoulders, her bra sagged beneath her heaving breasts, her nipples standing out like soldiers at attention, her skirt falling down, and her panties so twisted she could clearly see the outline of her southern lips. Fluttershy's ears pulled back at what she had made of herself.
"Oooh. I really am a bad pony."
Then a bold thought took hold and she straightened up and smiled. It was a different smile for her.
"I'm such a naughty pony."
* * *
The sun was just setting as Spike the dragon came within sight. I'd only been standing there a minute and I was giddy to see this thing through. I waved to Spike, and took my backpack from off my shoulder. I opened it as he walked up.
"Hey, Brendon! What in there?"
"Hey, Spike, perfect timing! This is your ticket to happiness. Change your clothes and put these on."
"What? Where? Why?"
"Behind that tree! I don't care. And the less you ask the better."
"Fwuaah! These stink ! And they're wet! Is this your sweat? What is this?"
"Just be quiet and put it on. You'll thank me later."
"No, I want to know what this is about! This better not be a prank!"
"Spike, no, I wouldn't do that to you." I paused. "At least not yet. Definitely not in this area of life, trust me."
"Brendon, tell me what's going on."
"Oh come on we don't have time for this! We need to get to Rarity's!"
"What does she have to do with this?"
"Oooooh, damn it. Fine! Okay okay, short version: Rarity measured me for some new clothes and I somehow set off her heat and, uh, she tried to jump me."
Spike's face hurt me more than if he'd punched me. "What?! What did you do to my Rarity?!"
"Nothing nothing! I swear, I didn't touch her!"
She touched me, though.
"But she - and you - and then Applejack said…"
"Look, stop thinking about that part of it. She's still got some time left for my plan to work. We need to move ."
"I still don't get what -"
"Put
"The
"Clothes
On!"
"Okay okay! Geez!"
Spike scurried behind a tree and in a flash had changed into my clothes.
"They're too big !"
Yeah they were. It was like a child in an adult's clothes.
"Won't matter. My guess is you won't have them on for long."
"Wha-?"
"Shut up and let's move. We need to get to her place with no one seeing us. Lead the way, my dragon man!"
Through a series of ridiculous luck and idiotic stupidity, we got to Rarity's boutique unseen. We made our way to the front door. I glanced around. There was no one in sight.
Then I knocked on her door.
"What are you doing ?!" Spike whispered.
"Shhhhh! She can't know you're here! Not yet! Shut up!"
There was a strained silence and I almost panicked. What if she wasn't home? What if she went to sleep early? What if -?
“Go away!”
It was muffled, but it was her.
“Rarity! It’s me!”
“Who? I can barely hear you.”
“It’s Brendon. Please let me in.”
Spike’s look of panic and silent pleading for me to stop almost made me lose it. If only he knew what was coming.
“Brendon?! You...you can’t be here!”
“I wanted to let you know there was no hard feelings. And maybe...maybe we could pick up where we left off?”
“You - you - y-y-y-you w-w-want…” There was a brief pause. “I’ll be right there!”
“Wait! Keep the lights off! I was told not to come near you. No one should see me. Please don’t turn on any lights.”
“Ooooh, like it in the dark, do you? Ooo I’m very interested in what I’ll... blindly grope around for.”
Spike looked like he was going to kill me/run away. I gave him a thumbs up. It didn’t help.
I heard a series of locks being unbolted. I cringed to think of what that meant if I actually went in there. The door slowly opened a crack and the entrance was a black impenetrable sheet.
Speaking of penetrating.
I grabbed Spike and (after whispering "Have fun" in his ear) shoved him through the door, keeping myself out of sight, and slammed the door behind him. I heard a sudden intake of breath and a voice saying, “Wh-what is that heavenly aroma? Ooooooh, is that...I...give me just a second - GIVE IT TO ME!”
There was a crash and a thud and I began to walk away slowly. I was a few blocks away when I heard, clear as day, a shout of “I don’t care Who you are! I need it now !” This was followed by the scream of what sounded like a girl, yet didn’t sound like Rarity. Then I heard Rarity cry out “Now I have you! Let’s see how you taste!” I paused but heard nothing else for a little bit.
After a few more blocks I heard what sounded like a cheer of “Whooo hooo! Yeah!”
I smiled. There you go, Spike. There you go.
Author's Note
Wow! I really need to stop and thank all of you. Maybe I'm too new at this, but this story exploded! Over two-thousand views? You guys and gals are great ! I really hope you all enjoyed this chapter. The next one will hopefully be up in another week.
Two more quick things. 1) Did anyone wish that I had put a clop warning on this? I hesitate to interrupt the flow like that (not complaining for other authors, it's just a thing for my writing) but if people really wished they'd had a heads up I'll do it in the future.
2) I'm actually very relieved NONE of you responded to my last request at the end of last chapter. I think I came up with something great. Now I need to find some way to set up the event, if at all possible. Muahahahhahaa!
You all have a great day!
What do you mean, "friend?"
Chapter 13) All this? It's a lie...
Author's Note
I'm not going to lie, this chapter took a lot out of me. Portions came from past experience, others I had to reach deep down within to come up from whatever well of [something something something DARK SIDE] that I had in there.
If this chapter does nothing for you, discard it until the last bit. If you get something from this, I hope it brightens your day. Or does something good for you. Anyway, have it!
[Oh wait, maybe I should have proofread this? Ah, screw it.]
Chapter 13) All this? It's a lie...
"Deep into that darkness peering
I kept on walking, smiling to myself and feeling very happy for Spike and Rarity. In essence, they both got what they wanted. Probably more, in the end, but time would tell on that thought. My smile turned melancholy, and my eyes turned to the ground. My pace slowed.
Envy threatened my happiness. The thoughts passing through my mind went by very quickly, and I hated myself for each one of them for how selfish they were.
Well at least they aren't alone.
Why couldn't that have been me?
I gave him what I never had.
And never will.
It went on, but so quickly as though my mind crowded with them, like a mob all speaking in my voice. I hated it. I did something good! Why can't I be happy about it? What was this sudden pang of loneliness? Why can't I be satisfied? What is wrong with me?
-There's always been something wrong with you. It was obvious for years, especially after he left you.
Shut up! I'm over that.
-He walked out the door. Never tried to take you with him. And no matter what they said, you know that you lost his love.
Human love is finite. It can be lost. But it shouldn't be. A father's love shouldn't be lost.
-"Shouldn't" doesn't change the fact. You dream too much.
I dream of not being alone! I dream of having someone in my life who won't leave me!
-But look at your track record. All breakups. All your fault.
They had their own brokenness. I couldn't fix them.
-You hurt each one of them!
And they hurt me! My first girlfriend abused me!
-Tell yourself that.
What am I telling myself? Who are you? Is any of this real? You're a product of my depression. I can't trust you. Go away!
But I had tried that before. Tried to mentally fight off the bad thoughts for years. I pictured myself putting on armor to hold it off, as if my imagination and will could make it better - the armor was broken. I imagined putting up a shield - it shattered. And now here I was, no defenses left. No medication to help filter the chaos. How could this happen so quickly?
And still my mind raged against itself. The thoughts were faster, more insistent, and no logic or reasoning helped. No matter what argument I put forth, the thoughts kept coming. Some horrid person once said that if you tell people a lie enough times they believe it. I believed it. Only a very tiny part screamed in silence that this couldn't be true.
I was a terrible person. Every failure was thrown in my face, every person I'd ever hurt was paraded before me, every goal I'd ever wanted and never accomplished displayed as trophies of my horrid existence. Evidence for why I didn't deserve to live.
In hindsight, it seems so odd to understand. When one is in a bright and joyful place, all of that darkness seems like a dream that happened to another me. But in the midst of it, there was always the dark, and all that was good was the lie. All of it: A Lie . There was no sun, that was a fantasy. The truth has always been this hell. And it will Never Go AWAY.
My mind started thinking of all the people who would have been better off if I had just died. My parents' marriage might have stayed intact. My ex's would never have been wounded. My teachers would never have been disappointed in me. My mother would never have to worry about me.
-And you can't wound them anymore if you died now, they already think your dead. You'll never see them again. Ever. They'll mourn anyway. You have nothing to lose.
Fluttershy would weep. She would care. All of my new friends would care.
-They all have pity on you. You're so pathetic. Did you see how Fluttershy ran away from you? Just the stink of you disgusted her so much. You midnight groper. Perverted loser. Unlovable failure.
No!
NO!
NOOOO!
I collapsed onto my knees. How could this happen? How had I been so blind to how they all despised me? Surely they whispered behind my back. Of course they would leave me too. They all would. But I could leave them first. Leave everything - just walk out to the forest. They'd never find the body, just food for the manticores. Maybe it'd be painless.
I grasped the sides of my head with both hands.
"God, no! It's not true!"
My face burned red with the shame of crying and openly kneeling on the path. My mind wished that no one would see me while at the same time wondering why no one was coming to help me.
Why am I so dependent on the meds? Why can't I be normal?
-You're too weak. You should be able to handle this all on your own
How? HOW GODDAMN IT?!
"ENOUGH! THIS MUST END!"
Where had that come from? I was shocked to my core, as i was sure the voice had been inside my head but I knew I hadn't thought it. I felt a little invaded but so relieved. All around me was silence. Precious, wonderful silence. I sniffed for a second and smiled with a trembling lip. Grateful did not begin to describe how I felt.
"Thank you," I whispered to the empty air. Gathering my wits, I took stock of my surroundings. I was alone on the road, past the outskirts of Ponyville. Fluttershy's cottage was within sight and no one else was around as far as I could see. I sagged with relief and began to truly feel how tired I really was. My legs seemed to shake with every other step; I had to get inside.
For a moment, I contemplated knocking, but then I didn't want to have to explain to Fluttershy where I'd been. I felt unable to make up anything special. When I felt vulnerable I either lied terribly or was compelled to tell the truth. And the thought of lying to Fluttershy also felt somehow more wrong. With that thought, I opened the door as gently as I could and went to the kitchen.
My feet slowing with every step, I knew I needed something to eat or else I'd be useless to anyone the next day. Again, I tried moving as carefully and quietly as I could so that when I opened the fridge and the cabinets I would make almost no noise. I grabbed granola, chips, some salad, and whatever looked reasonably edible and threw it all on a plate. While in the fridge, I decided to inspect this piece of abnormal "technology" and discovered that I could see no electric components that I recognized. There was a strange glittery tingle in the air inside and I got the feeling it must be magical. Was it like Spike said about the restaurant? A cold spell? I shook my head in confusion and went to munch on my unholy conglomeration.something in it.
It was time to drag myself to my room. No, not my room, the guest room I was allowed to stay. What was mine in this world? The clothes on my back? My mind - ? No, that seemed like it was being taken from me. But then who gave it back? I shook my head. Sleep first. I just needed to sleep.
Leaning against the wall for support, I opened my door and walked to my bed.
Ah, that was better. A face full of fluffy pillow. I haphazardly kicked off my shoes and sighed as everything faded away.
Fwuffy wuffy. Yeeeeaaaahh...
* * *
Where am I?
I'm not awake.
No. Something else. But...where am I?
"THERE IS NO NEED FOR THAT. YOU MAY SIMPLY SPEAK. HERE ALL THOUGHT IS BUT A FORM OF SPEECH."
I turned to see whom had spoken. It was Celestia. No, not at all. But similar. She was a tall alicorn, dazzling in deep blue colors. If ever there was a color of midnight, it was embodied in her. Stars sparkled in her mane, a crown of obsidian was on her brow; dark was her raiment and darkness followed behind her. Yet this was not one of evil, for here was the calm of night, the quiet and mystery of the stars and the beauty of the moon. Her mane and dress shimmered as though in a wind that never was, her features more hidden behind the darkness of her coat, and yet her eyes blazed from her face in a bright contrast. It must be Princess Luna.
Why am I thinking this way?
Princess Luna giggled, the sound echoing in the void in which we stood.
"The barrier between thy thoughts and thy deepest being are weakest here, for you are within the landscape of your dreams. You are thinking more akin to how you have always wanted to, with no worry for the outside world's judgement."
"Dreams? This is a dream?"
"Of a sort. Here nothing has been created. We have taken thee to a place where we can talk in private, without the distraction and confusion of the dream."
"Wait, you mean, like, if I'm in the dream I don't know I'm in the dream?"
"You are well experienced with dreams, we see."
"We?"
"Yes."
"You and who?"
"Whom. And we refer to our royal person."
*facepalm* "Of course."
Luna giggled again. "I am sorry. I have been...out of touch with normal ponies for a very long time. It is easy for us - me - to slip into Olde habits."
"Um, how did you say the 'e' on the end of Olde?"
Luna smiled. "I have...experience."
"I believe you."
"I know. It is almost impossible to lie here, except to yourself."
"Myself?"
"You do it often and it is not really thy fault - erm...your fault.
"You mean my depression."
"This word must mean something different for you than for me."
"Well, did Celestia tell you anything about me?"
"She did inform me in detail of your...disease. I must say that it is, indeed, rare that I encounter it in my subjects in these times. But millennia ago, I remember some ponies who suffered similar things that she described to me. One especially stands out to me: she continually seemed to reel between being incredibly happy and then impossibly sad."
"Sounds like what we call bipolar disorder. There once was a time when I worried that I had that disorder, but my therapist - I mean, the doctor who helped me with this kind of thing - told me that I definitely didn't."
"How did he know? You do seem to have great sadness within you."
"Because according to my descriptions, my therapist said that my high points were other people's normal."
Luna raised an eyebrow. "You seem eager to tell more. Please tell me."
The words burst from my lungs. "If that's normal, then why don't people realize how beautiful life is?! How can they not see the glory of the world we are allowed to live in? We wake up and we can see the sun, we can see trees and grass and animals and-and-and-everything! We love each other, cry with each other, hold together through tragedies and heartbreak; we give ourselves away in the hope that we get something back! And it hurts so much when that love is taken from us! I wish I could scream it to the world, open their eyes and let them see ! They were allowed to wake up this morning, and hopefully they have food and a home and someone that loves them! I don't know them, and I love them - because they're human! Or...pony, or dragon, or whatever thinking creatures exist! They are apart of creation and it all sings a song that burns with love. And...and..." I was panting from the exertion, and then wondered how I could be without a body. "...and I wish I could keep that thought in my mind for more than a few minutes. I wish I could...know it. Not just think it. Does that make sense?"
"You crave the ability to know that you are loved and deserving of love."
"Yes! Yes, that's it!"
"To love others unconditionally and be loved in return."
"Yes, free of judgement and without all these walls we've built up to keep other people out because we're afraid of being hurt."
"Those exist here as well: those walls. But they are far fewer among my subjects than those in your mind. I assume others of your world are similar?"
"I think so. Your people, your ponies...they have far less of the problems than my people do. But then again, I've only been here a few days."
"I am sure that my world is not as pure and hallowed as you would believe, but I'll let that be for now. No need to show you all the worst things in Equestria, or how I, myself, once sought to subjugate it to my will."
"Oh. That whole Nightmare Moon thing?"
"Yes. The Wielders of the Elements spoke to you about this?"
"Yes, but they also told me that you aren't anything like that anymore."
"Perhaps, but I have feared that too much of that aspect of myself remains."
"Well, if this is a dream, and I can't lie, then I know I can trust you - because that's what I thought when I first spoke to you. And...you're the one who saved me earlier. Aren't you?"
"Your mind was so bent in upon itself, so mired in false realities, that you were akin to a very deep daydream. It was enough of a gateway for me to enter that 'dream' - of a sort - and temporarily return you to your right mind."
"I don't have the words to say."
"No, you do not, for you would say them in this, of all places."
"So...why am I here?"
"Partly to have this very conversation we are having. Also, to help you sleep. You have no memory of what your dreams were about to become before you found yourself here, but they were dark and torturous. I must ask a question: where did all of this come from?"
"I...have inherited this condition. Some members of my family are prone to it. But mine was triggered by an event, and I can't seem to recover from it. I may be in need of my medicine for the rest of my life. Hang on...you can see into my mind, correct?"
"Much of it is closed to me, for I will not force myself into places I am not invited...unless I deem it necessary for your safety."
"Then...look inside of mine."
"I shall show you what I am seeing, but be warned that much of it will appear as though in a dream. Its interpretation may be something I will ask of you."
"I'll do what I can, I already feel so drained from all this."
"Very well." With that, Luna waved one hand in the air and a shimmering window appeared. The images that appeared behind it were moving incredibly fast - flashes of memories and thoughts that whirred past. A few lingered for a few moments.
A tall man walked out a door, and the door was ominous and gaped wide like a mouth-like abyss. A child stared into it for a long time until it finally closed, and the child disappeared in its shadow.
A woman lying on a bed, the sun moving fast across the window of the room, as though days and weeks were passing in the blink of an eye. A small face peered up with a smile that eventually failed as the woman would not move.
A boy crying as he kneels upon the ground. Broken stained glass lies before him, and he desperately tries to piece it back together. The fragments cut his hands, and the tears pour down even more. Uncaring legs and feet walk past him in the dozens. Some accidentally step and crack the once beautiful glass even more. The boy finally grabs at them and clutches them to his stomach, trying to ignore the blood that runs down his hands.
A young man stands before a burning wreckage. It once was a house, but is clearly split in two. He stares at it for a moment, then turns and walks away. Behind him the two homes that once were one crash down into ashes.
The man is reading in a shop, and the book creates a bubble around him that walls off all sound of the people around him. Occasionally he turns to gaze at all the people with a look of wanting, but finally he turns back and his bubble becomes a corner of the room from which he will not move.
A man laughing with friends at a table, a look of carefree joy upon his face. One by one the other men are tapped on the shoulder by a beautiful woman. Each of them slips a ring upon the women's hands and then get up and never return to the table. Eventually one remains, his head down, refusing to look up.
Eventually, it ends and the window closes. I breath a trembling sigh. The world seems to shake with me. There is a long silence. Thankfully, Luna breaks it.
"I am sorry, Brendon. Yours has not been an easy journey, though few in all worlds have ever had it truly easy. I believe my sister's...prescription for you might indeed be best. But first I have one question: what was that glass the boy was holding?"
"His tiny hopes and dreams." A tear slid down my face.
"I see."
"You mentioned a...what was it?"
Luna drew herself up and smiled gently down on me. "I have a quest for you. It has been arranged that your journey will take you near to a place that, millennia ago, was known as 'The Lovers' Last Fall.' There you will find a cave. Within that cave is a mirror. When you reach it, you and another must look upon each other from either side. There a great truth will be revealed and, I believe, you may find an end to what ails you."
"Really? I mean, really? I'll do it! I will...um...accomplish this quest!"
Luna giggled. "A fitting quest for my newest subject."
"Really? I'm your newest subject?"
"No, not really. Baby Sassafras has just been born nearly an hour ago."
There was a pause. Then we laughed. It broke the tension just right.
"And with that, Brendon, I shall leave you to experience a dream that shall make you smile."
"I'd...like that."
"Would you like to be alone in that dream?"
"Hmmm? What?"
"Well, I know another who would want to share it with you."
"-wha-"
"Perfect. I shall leave you to it then."
Though I tried, no words escaped my mouth. I felt myself falling as Luna gave a tiny wave of goodbye.
* * *
I started up. It had been a wonderful dream! There was someone else there with me...who was it? I pried my brain for something, anything , but all I got were memories of good feelings.
Damn! A great dream and I can't even remember anything about it.
The next thing I realized was that I hadn't woken up in my bed. There was some confused disorientation as I tried to take stock of where I was. The ground was hard and I was leaning up against something else that was hard. My eyes tried to adjust. I felt around me. A hardwood floor and the wall...it moved a little. A door? I had fallen asleep against a door in the hallway?
Oh great! Now I'm sleepwalking again. When was the last time this happened? Oh wait, I wouldn't remember anyway.
I squinted and tried to see where I was when I jerked upright. That was the bathroom door across from me. I had just woken up in front of Fluttershy's room? Maybe that explains the strange smell -
My mind blanked for a moment. The smell. That Smell. What was it? Just like that substance in the kitchen. But so much stronger. And it was coming from under Fluttershy's door. My mind flooded with something I hadn't experienced for a long time: pure bodily desire. No second thoughts crossed my mind. Nothing in my mind held me back - everything was right at this very moment! What else was I to do?
Let's do this! LEROY JENKINS!
I stood up, faced the door, and kicked it in.
What do you mean, "friend?"
Chapter 14) A Dream through the Ages
Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter. What do you mean, "friend?"
Chapter 15) Our Best Intentions
As I opened them, I felt a strange twitch under my eyelids which I dismissed as a strange muscle spasm. Then, for the briefest moment, I failed to grasp what I was seeing.
Why is a red pony sleeping in my - OH MY GOD!
Fluttershy, red as a berry, was staring back at me with eyes as big as dinner plates. We were both lying on our sides, facing each other, the morning sunshine was pouring in and shining a light on the scene around us. Apparently Fluttershy had been far too hot last night, as all of her sheets had been thrown off and she had been sleeping completely naked. My eyes drank in everything. The swell of her hips, the smooth sexy length of her legs, her large soft breasts with their pink nipples, the curve of her shoulder, her mane all in disarray and yet somehow more beautiful than if she had stylized it for hours, her adorable belly, and the tantalizing exposure of her -
Wait, why would she shave down there- ?
Then I realized that there would be no pubic hair as her "skin" was nothing but that short, fuzzy, yellow hair all over her body. And there was her marehood, in all its glory. It was glistening wet, along with most of her thighs, and seemed to my eyes to sparkle in the light. I never thought it could look so cute and sexy at the same time.
Fluttershy, meanwhile, was breathing very hard. Her face had lost none of its flushed coloring and for a moment I thought she was going to hyperventilate or even have a panic attack. Perhaps I wasn't far behind.
All of this I absorbed in the span of a few heart beats. And then all of it sunk in, like a wound about to bleed.
What did I do?!
"Oh f-"
* * *
If one happened to have been strolling along the outskirts of Ponyville and happened to glance up at the cottage one slightly reclusive mare, they would have seen a hundred frightened birds burst out of the trees all around it. And then a second later, they would then hear the echoing scream that sent them forth.
* * *
All thought of the dream was completely overwhelmed in that instant of horror. I could barely think. Instinctively I flung myself sideways off the bed, hitting the floor with an audible thump. I scrambled to some kind of lying position, hugging the end of the bed like it was life-saving cover, refusing to let myself be seen. My mind whirled madly, trying to think of how I woke up to such an insane moment. From somewhere on the bed came the sound of little whimpers that may have been coupled with words, but it was impossible to hear clearly through my panting and pounding heart. A few seconds later I heard the spring of the mattress as Fluttershy got off, presumably on the other side of the bed.
All my thoughts were, essentially, "panic" and "escape." I glanced over. I had rolled off the left side of the bed, and the bedroom door was to my right. I could make a break for it. She wouldn't see much. Glancing down, I was horrified to see I was, indeed, in nothing but my underwear and it was feeling sticky in an all-too-familiar way.
Oh God, it leaves nothing to the imagination!
Shame hit me like a ton of bricks. I had my own cum on me, in front of a girl - female , I'd seen her naked, and I'd broken into her room in the middle of the night with the intention of ravishing her. My arms and legs flexed in terror. There was no undoing what I had done.
Why can't I just load the save file? Do over! Do over!
There was another sound from the other side of the bed. Fluttershy was mumbling to herself and it sounded like she was rummaging through something. I started catching words of, "It has to be here," or something to that effect. Clothes flew over my head from the other side of the bed, then the sound of crinkling paper. "Oh no, not that ." Something landed on my head. It didn't hurt, and when I grabbed at it, it turned out to be some kind of shiny paper that had once been some kind of package. Maybe? It was hard to tell as it looked like it had been crushed in Fluttershy's mad grab. Curious and in desperate need to distract myself from my present situation, I turned it over in my hands. Something was sticking out of it; something blue? I unwrapped it and found a bright, almost tropical looking flower. It would have been pretty if it wasn't so smooshed. I blinked. Was this what Fluttershy was hiding from me? Was this some a gift? I put it back down.
And now I've ruined the surprise and gone and opened it! Damn it all to hell!
A small moan from the other side stopped me.
"Ohhh, I shouldn't have touched that. Oh, I'm such a bad pony."
No, I wanted to shout. I'm the bad one. I'm no good.
Feeling the sweat breaking out all over my skin, I finally jumped up and made a break for the door. I gave some kind of rushed apology, ran out, and slammed the door behind me. Then I stopped. I couldn't just run away, I had to try and explain myself. I gritted my teeth. The last thing I wanted to do was face Fluttershy after what I'd done and...almost done to her . I couldn't stand the thought of looking her in the face. But at least I didn't have to open the door.
"Fluttershy? I'm so sorry! I...I must have been sleepwalking last night. I'd never...I just...oh God, I'm sorry!"
My voice broke at the end, and I ran for my room. What else was there to say? How could I justify myself? How could I face her, ever again? I ran inside my room, got on my knees next to the bed, and slammed my fists down on it in absolute frustration and anger at myself. Again and again I hit it, but it felt far too soft. I needed something harder, something that hit back. I struck the floor with my palms until I finally planted them on the ground and pounded my forehead with a desperate need to punish myself. But it didn't feel like enough. I stopped. I gritted my teeth, balled my fists until the knuckles turned white, and made some strange noises that sounded like growls mixed with sobs.
I've ruined...everything!
Everything about the previous night was fuzzy. I'd woken up in the middle of the night from some kind of good dream, and I was somehow at the foot of Fluttershy's door. Was that real or only part of the dream? Damnation, it made no sense. Then I had kicked in Fluttershy's door because I had this overwhelming urge to just... take her. What was wrong with me? How did I think that was okay? And what the hell did Luna have to do with all of this? Where did she fit in? I couldn't remember; everything was too foggy and confused. I couldn't calm down to think this through.
At least the other dream had been good. Right? It'd been amazing. Hadn't it?
The details refused to come back. Like too many dreams, I just couldn't recall it. Something vague: a wood, Fluttershy was there, and then things got...sexual? It must have. Why else did I wake up like that?
"And where the fuck are my clothes?"
A sigh of relief escaped me when I saw that I had torn off my clothes before leaving my room. That meant I had no reason to go back into Fluttershy's room to grab anything.
"Okay, that's one thing that's good. Now, what else was there? Did I forget something?"
Yes there was. I had kissed Fluttershy! Just flat out kissed her!
My voice was an inhaled whisper of horror as I grabbed my hair. "Ho shit!"
I had stolen a kiss! Our first kiss! Probably our last too, but I hadn't wanted it to be like this! If I was going to kiss her I'd -
"No! Stupid to think about that now! It's never going to happen! You don't break into someone's room, Brendon, and just expect that you can kiss them because everything feels good. Ohhhhh, god DAMN it."
I sat on the ground, pulling my knees up to my chin. If I could have willed it all away I would, but the logical part of my mind refused to just wait out the world. I had to deal with this. But I couldn't deal with this. I just couldn't. My mind was in absolute panic, rising anxiety that threatened to overtake me. When was the last time I felt like this?
Old, almost forgotten thoughts asserted themselves. If I could have seen through the haze in which I was engulfed, I'd have recognized it immediately. But I saw only raw feeling, and those feelings spoke of how I'd done what I always did: screw up.
Don't face it. It's too big. Later. You can do it later.
Ahhhh, that was familiar, and it brought the same temporary relief. I'd explain myself later, face the problem later. When I was ready. When I felt better.
For now I felt a physical need to be clean. I was dirty. Very dirty.
There were no words for how ugly I felt, knowing someone had seen me covered with my own excretions. (Looking back, it shows how blind I was, since I felt no judgement towards Fluttershy; I reserved it only for myself.) I peeled off my underwear with absolute disgust, flung them away, nabbed some clothes, and decided to make a run for the bathroom.
I at least need to get take a washcloth and get this shit off me.
* * *
In another place, two tall figures were watching events unfold from afar.
"This is what you wanted me to see, dear sister? I am truly sorry, but it looks like something went wrong."
"Yes. Why did he not simply take her when he awoke?"
"What?! How could you think such a thing?"
"Well, wasn't that how it was done millennia ago? There were so many times where the stronger simply took the weaker and claimed them, and love might spring forth from such a coupling. So many marriages came from that. And these two both had feelings for each other, so it would have ended well."
"Do you truly...? Sister, times have changed so much since then. Surely, you know that more than anyone? And what makes you think he is the stronger?"
"Clearly he is physically - "
" - and it looks like he is not mentally, or emotionally. I am deeply confused, how was this supposed to turn out?"
"The dream was supposed to bring them together, all would be well. He would wake up, see his love, and the rest would be happiness. Surely you can see how it could have been?"
"What 'could have been' and what 'are' are two very different things. Brendon at least did a sensible thing, and pulled back.
"The memory of the dream is still there. But it is buried underneath something else. Something foul. But I planted a seed. And for your information, I had the best of intentions oh sister of mine! But it seems I did too much."
"I would never doubt your intentions, I surely would not. I trust you. But you were supposed to only help him sleep! Now who knows what may happen."
"Do not blame me for his own demons!"
"I am not blaming you, I - wait. What was that?"
"What was what?"
"Your eye. There was something there. Let me look at you."
"It is nothing. We are fine. We will revisit the human again and try a more subtle approach. Let us discuss this later."
"No, all of this isn't right. Can't you feel it? What's happened to you? This isn't like you at all. Wait! Don't leave! Please come back.
"Please !
"LUNA! "
* * *
Fluttershy, alone in her room, tried - and failed - to calm down. What had just happened? She absently chewed on the little bite she'd taken from Zecora's cake, feeling a kind of coolness flow through her body. Her mind followed, and she found she could finally think clearly. Thank goodness she dove for the cake! She wasn't sure what might have happened otherwise.
Seeing Brendon lying there, in her bed, practically naked, had sent her into some kind of shock. It almost hurt, the urge, the need , to move toward him and give in to every craving her body had screamed to be satisfied. It was only after he'd thrown himself out of her line of sight that she took a moment of brief sanity and reached for the cake. The problem was that she'd put it back in her bag, and in her frantic searching she'd grabbed the other parcel from Zecora and flung it over the other side of the bed. She was almost sure she touched the thing inside it: poison joke. Who knew what joke it would play on her this time? But enough of that.
Now that she wasn't just a bundle of rampaging hormones, Fluttershy took stock of everything that had just happened. First there was the dream. The Dream! It all came back to her: the images, the feelings, the emotions, it was all so magical. Fluttershy knew, without knowing why, that it had been Brendon in the dream, or some part of him. The otherness of him in the dream, and the feeling of being joined, were all too...powerful to be just imaginary. And when they had touched, she had felt him looking inside . For her it might have been one of the greatest moments in the whole, beautiful experience. He had looked in her and didn't seem to find anything that made him want to turn away. Rather, it seemed he loved all he saw. But what did she see in him?
A little boy longing to be loved? No, that wasn't all of it. She needed time.
Suddenly she heard hurried footsteps down the hall and the bathroom door being slammed shut. She winced at the sound.
"He probably needs to clean himself up. I know I do, but first thing's first."
Fluttershy decided to pick out her outfit while she waited for the bathroom. But more than that, she knew she had to think and deal with what just happened. She had woken up with Brendon's hand on her cheek and then opened her eyes to see him, looking almost asleep himself, lean in and kiss her, gently, on her mouth. Even the memory made her blush, not knowing the hint of a smile that played upon her face. But more shocking to Fluttershy was Brendon's reaction when he opened his eyes and saw her. Fear filled his face; fear and...shame? It looked like he was sure he had done something absolutely awful. But even she could tell he had just woken up, and he didn't know what had really happened either. She had wanted to say to him, "Don't be sorry," or "I'm sure you had a good reason," but she was so concerned with getting the cake and trying to calm down that she couldn't say anything . Part of her felt so sorry for Brendon as he ran out and desperately tried to apologize through the door. She was sure he had panicked. He even sounded like he was crying.
"Oh, he must feel so bad. But he doesn't need to. It's not his ... well, honestly I don't know if it's not his fault. If it wasn't then why the look on his face? But I'm sure there's a good reason for how this all happened. I should go talk to him."
She looked down at herself. She could still feel the matted fur along her thighs and between her legs.
"Ohhh, but not like this."
She soon heard the bathroom door shut, and hurried foosteps running back down the hall. Fluttershy then quickly went in, cleaned herself off, changed, groomed herself just enough, and headed to his room. She was pretty sure he hadn't left, those doors were very hard to open quietly with their noisy hinges.
...
No answer.
She knocked again.
No answer.
"Ummm, Brendon? Can I come in?"
Silence.
Fluttershy stared at the doorknob. She could go in, there was really no way to lock her interior doors. But wouldn't that be rude? She quietly walked away.
A minute later she walked back, stared at the door, and started to reach for the knob. She stopped and then stepped back, her hands and feet together, with a look of uncertain worry. She walked away.
"Oooooh."
She came back again a moment later and, again, stared at the door.
A small blur of white zipped up next to her, and Angel gazed up in annoyance, tapping his foot impatiently.
"Oh, I know Angel. But I know I shouldn't. What if - "
Angel took one fuzzy foot and gave the door a light kick. It swung open.
"Oh. Well, since it is open I guess I'll just see if...there's...anything...oh no."
Brendon's room was a bit of a mess, but that wasn't what stopped her. It was empty. A breeze blew in through the window, and it was wide open.
* * *
I was still surprised that my leap from the window left me with no injuries. Sure, I'd had some athletic experience in the past, but even I was sure I'd at least sprain an ankle if not outright break my leg. But to my disappointment, I landed pretty much on my feet, if a little unsteady, and went on my way. I walked aimlessly around the grassy fields around Ponyville, trying to avoid seeing anypony while I stayed in my own misery.
Much of that walk was a complete blur of frantic thinking. Round and round my head went the terrible truths that seemed to haunt me and a pain kept growing behind my eyes. If I had had any clear skies in the midst of my cloudy conscience, I would have seen the clear signs of severe withdrawal - and the source of my pain, both internal and external, would have been clear. But nothing was clear in my mind, except that I must have ruined everything I had left in my life.
-You killed your friendship with Fluttershy. She'll never forgive you for this.
I know.
-She'll tell her friends and then all the ponies will hate you.
Ohhhh, of course they will! I'm so stupid!
-No one will want to be around you. All you do is leave pain behind you.
I have the best intentions!
-And you know what road is paved with good intentions.
Hell. Like what I'm in now.
-Why can't you do anything right? You're now left in a world where everyone around you will despise you. Everything you love is gone. There will be nothing left for you.
This can't really be true, can it? Did I do something that unforgivable? This all feels so familiar.
- Stop thinking about it! Just accept it!
What? But you said...I said...?
"Hey! Brendon! I'm so glad I found you!"
I looked up and tried to find the speaker. Their voice was familiar but something was different. Then I saw -
"Spike?! What happened to you?"
"Oh, wait 'til I tell you!"
"No, not last night, I mean, like...you're taller! "
It was true. The "little" dragon had grown probably two feet since last I saw him. He might have been at least as tall as me. His voice also sounded a little deeper, but it was still the same Spike -at least, from what I could tell. He also had on a nice outfit with a t-shirt and pants that fit him perfectly, even allowing holes for his spines and tail to come out the back. It had to be Rarity's work. God, that pony had some energy.
"Heh, yeah," he said, grinning in the sunlight, then he took a second look at me. "Um, are you okay?"
"Huh? Yeah, I'm fine. I'm always fine. But, Spike, how are you...like this ?"
"Well, there's a funny thing about Dragons - well, actually there are a lot of funny things about dragons, and I think that I'm pretty - "
"Spike. Tall. How?"
"Oh, right. Well one way that dragons can grow is when they are given things, or they take them. Like dragon hordes, you know? So...last night, Rarity gave me her virginity."
I couldn't hide my shock and look of genuine incredulity. It took all I had at that moment to not roll my eyes and go, "Riiiiigggggghhht."
There's just no way.
"Wow, Spike that's...that's great!"
"And she also gave me her love!"
"Ah."
"What?"
"N-nothing. I'm amazed that something like that works. I mean, it wasn't a physical object, right?"
"Nope. But Rarity says it's proof that what she gave me, and what I gave her, was so powerful that it's really Real."
I contemplated that for a moment, my whole being focusing on this one idea. It was a welcome distraction.
No. Listen to Me!
What was that?
I shook my head.
"You mean," I said, slowly. "It's a thing so True that it's as if you physically carry it with you wherever you go?"
"Yeah, that's a much better way of saying it." Spike was practically beaming.
"Whoa, that's beautiful." I was dead serious.
"Not as beautiful as Rarity."
"Ugh..."
"What?"
"Okay, that 'sounds' great but this is a thing that's so profound you really can't compare it to a human be - Argh! - I mean a pony."
Spike chuckled a little. As his body shook, I noticed the increase in muscle he had around his legs and arms. Not gigantic, but noticeable.
"Are you really arguing about what's more beautiful?"
I couldn't help but smile. "You know what? Yes, damn it, I am."
"Wait, what was that yesterday about a man card?"
"Hey, just 'cause I explained the 'System' doesn't mean you can use it against me!"
"Gimme your card?"
"What?"
"Come here - !"
"No - !"
"Give - it - to - me!"
This turned into a small wrestling match, with neither giving way. He kept demanding to get something from my pocket, which we both knew wasn't there, and I stood my ground and refused. We ended up throwing each other around like big children, laughing like idiots, and eventually shaking hands like comrades in arms. It was a draw.
"Heh, but seriously," Spike said, puffing a little from our stupid escapades, "I can't thank you enough, Brendon. It...it's really changed my life."
"Aw, c'mon, it was bound to happen sooner or later."
"No. I'm not really sure it ever would have."
I didn't know how to respond to that.
"I...uh...I just saw something I could do to help. I only did my best, it wasn't anything special."
Spike somehow loomed before me, his stare intense.
"Your best is The -Best ."
For some reason, even in his simple way, I could hear what Spike said as really profound. It still took me a while to say anything, I was not used to complements like this.
"Thank you. Really. Thank you, Spike. It means a lot to hear that."
"You're a good friend, Brendon."
My mouth gave a knee-jerk response. "I am?"
"Well, yeah."
"I just did what I thought anyone should have done, I mean if they could."
"Not everyone could. Not everyone did."
"Oh." For some reason I felt stupid, like I should have known this all along.
"Well, I have to go have lunch with Rarity. She can finally come out of doors today, since she's got everything out of her system." He gave me a big wink.
"Ah, yeah. I guess she cooled off, huh? Well, you enjoy your day, Spike."
"I will, thanks again!"
"You're welcome, big guy! See you later!"
We waved as he walked off towards Ponyville.
I stood there, scratching my head and wondering what to do next. Where was I going just now? Nowhere really. I was just trying to get away from...Fluttershy. A jolt of embarrassment and guilt shot up my spine like an electric shock.
Best. Not. Think. About. It
A little stiff, I started walking on again. Then I heard it: the sound of running hooves.
"There he is!"
I barely turned in time.
"Oh no!"
Author's Note
Deep apologies for the wait! The next one is already well under way, but I had to shorten this chapter to keep it from going into the 7,000 word count. Maybe that isn't much to some of you, but DAMN IT I needed to get something out to everyone. Still can't get over the response from all ya'll. You're amazing. Special thanks to Dorant and jonboss86 for this chapter. Your words may have seemed small, but it helped in big ways.
And for everyone expecting a huge clop chapter today, sorry for the block.
Finally, sorry for the errors. I rushed this out and will need to go back when I have 5 minutes.
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What do you mean, "friend?"
Chapter 16) Treasures to seek, and to run from
A rainbow of colorful, small ponies bounded towards me. There, at the head of this plethora of plentifully painted ponies were the Cutie Mark Crusaders. Sweetie Bell and Apple Bloom had huge grins plastered on their faces as though they were just so proud of what they'd done. Scootaloo was jumping up and down, pointing, and shouting behind her, "See? I told you! He has no hair on his body!"
"Ewwww," said several little foals. "Ooooo," said several others.
I was not prepared for this. I didn't feel prepared for...anything. All I wanted to do was be alone and...well...that part of the plan wasn't fleshed out, yet. Somehow getting away would make everything...better? Yeah, that was it. And once I felt better...somehow...I'd be able to face people again. Or ponies again? Or [insert anthropomorphic animal here] again? But I had to deal with this, and tactfully.
"Sh - !"
Someone in my brain hit the "In Case of Children" switch.
"-shenanigans!"
As the foals began collecting about me, Apple Bloom looked up at me with large eyes.
"It-it's okay that we brought everyone to see you, right?"
You brought me an adorable army.
"Umm, yeah. Sure. Shouldn't you ponies be in school?"
"Nope," came Sweetie Bell's bubbly response. "We're off for the day!"
"Oh. Joy."
"So what are we gonna do first?" said Apple Bloom, her knees bent inward and hands clenched under her chin in anticipation.
That pose! How can such cuteness exist and not break reality?!
"I don't know. I mean, I'm feeling a little - "
"C'mon, mister Brendon! You said you'd play with us!"
Every foal was giving me The Eyes, and staring into that was like staring into the sun. A blazing sun of "D'aw!" A part of my soul writhed under the gaze of those large, shiny pools of darling little -
Aaarrgh!
"A-and so I shall! "
"Yaaaaaaaay!"
The force of their cheer hit me in the face. And somehow it moved me inside. Like I was back with my nieces and nephews.
A pose was struck.
"Then we need to Play - A - GAME! "
"Yaaaay!"
"Did someone say Game? "
What the - ?
"Gaaaah!"
*FWUMP!*
"Wow! You're funny when you're surprised! How do you fall over like that?"
A pink face of impossibly bright inquisitiveness appeared in my vision.
"Pinkie! Where did you come from?"
"What do you mean?"
"You - and there was no - and all of sudden - I mean - how did - ?"
"Uh oh. Are you broken?"
I found my face seized between soft and incredibly strong hands, and I felt myself lifted to a standing position rather easily.
"Is that better?"
"Gen lu ret go oh mah sace?"
"Hmmm?" Her grip slackened just enough.
"I said, can you let go of my face?"
"Oh! Why didn't you say so? And didn't you have glasses before?"
I felt my jaw pop painfully back into place while I let that statement sink in. Had I forgotten my glasses before I ran away from the cottage? I felt my face, knowing before I even moved my hand that it was true. But everything looked perfectly clear! Equestria was still changing me, but for some reason I found this change very unnerving. Gone was the hope that I would be made well, and in its place was a silent dread of my uncertain future. "Uh, I don't know. Must not've needed them."
"Now," said the brightly clothed pony of pinkness, "What did I hear about games?"
How does she bounce up and down like that? I really wish -
No, I really should look away. Too much is bouncing.
I shook my head and turned to the foals. Their excitement was getting infectious, and I felt my mind boiling with ideas. I was desperate for a new train of thought, and all my brain power went to work right away.
I grinned.
"How would you like to play pirates?"
"Pirates?!"
I heard a sound, and turned to see Pinkie suddenly dressed in full pirate regalia: eye patch, hat, fake hook, and a wooden cutlass.
"Arrrrgh!"
"Well, uh...I was going to say we would need some props but...I see Pinkie Pie has that covered."
Wait a minute. Her reality warping powers could come in handy.
"Hang on. First mate Pinkie!"
Her immediate salute at attention would have given pride to any sailing captain. The poofy hair and goofy grin...not so much.
"I need you to scrounge up as many swords and pirate costumes as you can!"
"A pirate party? Yes, sir!" Instantly a Pinkie-shaped cloud of dust took her place.
"Cutie Mark Crusaders!"
"Here!" came the reply of three trusty shipmates.
"Do we have a ship?"
"A ship?" replied Apple Bloom, a little confused.
I was starting to get in full swing and into character now. "Aye! A mighty fine vessel to sail the seven seas! Do ye have a proper boat worthy of this here pirate crew?"
"Um," said Scootaloo, "We have a tree house."
"Astoundingly good, fourth mate Scootaloo. That shall be our pirate hideaway where we shall keep our booty!"
"Hey why am I only fourth - "
" - but first I need all of you to form up and let's have a proper ship !"
* * *
Fluttershy had been walking for what seemed hours, trying to find her friend. She eventually wandered into town, trying not to appear as terribly worried as she felt. She was failing miserably. With her ears back, wings drooping, and eyes pleading silently for help, it was little wonder when she heard a familiar voice call out: "Hey, Fluttershy! You okay, sugarpie?"
"Oh! Applejack! Y-yes. I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be?"
"Because you look about as nervous as a long tailed pony in a room full of rocking chairs. What's going on? Why aren't you with your special somepony?"
"M-my what?!"
"Ohh, relax, Ah'm just teasin' ya! But Ah did think you'd be with him right now."
"Oh no, I can't find him. He, uh, um, w-what is everyone waiting for?"
It was rather odd, they were in the marketplace but everypony seemed to be looking all in one direction, expectation written all over their faces. And everyone was huddled behind the stalls.
"Oh, well Pinkie came runnin' through here real quick, handing out bits and yellin' and carryin' on and all. It sounds like a great show is gonna come round that corner any minute!"
"W-what is it?"
"Not sure mahself. Let's wait and find out." And with that she put her arm around Fluttershy and gently steered her towards one side.
"Oh no! I can't stay! I have to find Brendon! I'm afraid he's in a terrible - "
Her words were cut off by a large cry that resounded through the open air.
"Arrrrrrrrrrgh!
"Wh-what was? Oh!" Fluttershy hid behind Applejack and peered from behind her. Something was coming down the street.
Small hooves were pounding up a cloud of dust, as a tiny horde of colts and fillies in colorful array swarmed down the street. At first it was hard for Fluttershy to tell what she was seeing. It seemed there were foals floating in the midst of the dust cloud, and others were running along the outside of it, all whooping and hollering and waving...weapons? There was some kind of flag that was waving somewhere in the middle, but she couldn't make it out.
When this cavalcade of threatening fun plowed into the middle of the marketplace, a strong voice called out "Heave to!" and everything stopped. Once the dust was cleared, Fluttershy gaped at what she saw. A large cart was filled with almost a dozen foals, all clad in with mixes of bandannas, hats, eye-patches, and cloaks. Some were even hanging off the side, with one hand brandishing a small wooden sword or a brown sack. In the center of the cart stood Pinkie Pie, holding up a pole with a black flag upon which was emblazoned a skull - a pony skull! Another dozen or so foals were standing around the cart in a kind of arrow formation, with Sweetie Bell up front at the point, waving some wooden figure of a mermare. It almost looked like...
"Oh that's hilarious !" came a cry from just over Fluttershy's head. Rainbow Dash was holding her sides as she hovered in the air. "It's a pirate ship!"
One filly lifted up her cutlass and gave a shout, "Give us yer booty or give up yer lives!"
"Arrrrrrgh!" cried all the little pirates.
At this they rushed at the stalls, some of the foals leaping from the cart. Pinkie Pie waved her hook, her bubbly tones full of authority as she called, "Remember! Take only the small stuff! Nothing expensive!"
Half of the foals were nabbing vegetables and fruit and throwing them into their sacks carried by the rest of them. Many of the shop keeps shouted in clearly staged fright, their smiles giving away that it was all part of the game. Scootaloo was threatening as many as she could with her cutlass, waving it and shouting as she jumped on top of one stall, causing ponies to scatter with high pitched cries of "Help us! Help us!" Their laughter rang out amidst the cries.
"What about this, Miss Pinkie?" asked one colt, holding up an enormous, and fragile looking crystal vase.
"No!" That had been two voices at once. One was obviously Pinkie's, the other was definitely male. But where had it come from?
*CRASH!*
"Oops."
Pinkie waved a hand. "It's alright, I'll pay them back! And then I'll get paid back."
A groan could be heard, and it seemed to be coming from under the cart. It looked like someone was hunched under there, but little could be seen. They appeared to be wearing a large, dark cloak.
Pinkie was trying to whisper to them, but with her high voice that "whisper" could be heard by pretty much everyone.
"Don't worry, you have plenty of bits, right?"
"Uhhhhh."
"Oh. Well then you can work for me at the Sugarcube Corner."
"Uhhhhh?"
"It should only take a few weeks."
"Uhhhh?!
"You might want them to stop soon. The bill keeps getting higher."
"Shitake mushrooms! I didn't want to be seen ! Ohhhh..."
The figure disentangled itself from where they were hiding under the cart and stood up. A tri-corn hat sat on top of a high collar cloak that obscured much of them, but the shoes instantly gave away who it was. With a flourish he threw back the cloak with one hand. It was Brendon alright, dressed up even more than Pinkie Pie.
"Avast ye scurvy scum! We be takin' as much as we need! 'Tis time we be haulin' anchor and settin' sail for Skull Island..."
One tiny voice called out. "Is that what we're calling it? I wanted to name it Butterfly Bay."
"I liked Crusader Cove!" yelled Apple Bloom with her cutlass caught between her teeth as she shifted a huge sack over one shoulder.
"It's what I calls it and ye be grateful I don't make ye walk the plank! So says Captain Redbeard!"
"What's a beard?"
"Is it that orange peach fuzz on your chin!"
"Oh come on !" the accent was gone now. "Just...let's go! Please."
He jumped down, grabbed the front end of the cart with both arms, and began to pull it behind him like a beast of burden. The others scurried to follow suit, swinging their sacks or themselves up onto the cart.
"Ahead full speed, Mister Pie!"
"That's Miss Pie to you Red Chin!"
"Oh god..."
And so, with screaming, laughter, and another great cloud of dust, the troupe galloped off.
Some applause sounded from the ponies in the marketplace. A loud silence followed. Most of the merchandise was still there, but plenty had gone. In the end, it really had been harmless.
"Well, that sure was somethin', " said Applejack. "Was that some big game they were all playin'? What do you think, Rainbow?"
Rainbow Dash looked like she was going to burst.
"That
"Was
"So
"Cool! I wish I'd been a part of that! Woo hoo!"
Fluttershy noticed an odd, serious look creeping up into Rainbow's face. Eventually her smile was completely gone, replaced with a look of nervous worry.
"Um, what it Rainbow Dash?"
"Uhhh. I think I just remembered what I had going on this weekend. Oh no! "
"What?" Applejack inquired. "What is it?"
"Huh? Nothing! Nothing at all! Gotta go!" And she was gone.
"Well," said Applejack, after a silence. "What do ya suppose that was all about?"
Fluttershy simply shook her head, her gaze wandering off in the direction Pinkie, Brendon, and all the pony pirates had gone. Meanwhile Applejack looked her friend up and down.
"Okay," said Applejack. "You're gonna tell me right now what's goin' on. What's got you so worried?"
"Ummm, what makes you...say...that...?"
Applejack crossed her arms and began tapping her hoof.
"Flut tershy."
"Oh. Yes. I guess I am a tiny bit worried. This morning...um...Brendon accidentally...oh my...you see..."
Through a little prodding, a lot of backtracking, and immense patience, Applejack got Fluttershy to eventually reveal the fact that Brendon had woken up in a terrible state and, after being left to himself, had run away out the window, leaving Fluttershy wondering and extremely worried. As to the other details, Fluttershy was not going to say, justifying herself as "protecting his privacy."
"He just seemed so...so down on himself. I can't remember the last time I saw a pony looking like...ohhh...like they done something absolutely terrible."
"But what did he do ?" Applejack was obviously worried but could not hide her confusion.
"N-n-nothing. Really. I guess. I don't know. I just wish he would talk to me. I don't know how to help him."
"Well, Ah guess it must be pretty hard when you don't even know what's wrong. So far, Ah'd say you're being a pretty good pal to him. And who knows what's goin' on upstairs with him? He's lost a lot in a short time, and we don't even really know what these 'hu-mans' is even like when they're, uh, normal."
"I don't think there's that much difference between us. I've come to think of him as just another stallion."
"Just another stallion? Ah don't think so, sugarpie."
"W-what do you mean?"
"Ohhh, nevermind." And then she muttered under her breath, "It's like pullin' teeth."
"Should I go after him?"
Applejack sighed. "Ah don't know. Ah'd say no if he was really by himself, but he ain't. You do what you think is right, Fluttershy. Ah've never seen you let down a friend in need, and Ah can't see you startin' now.
"Anyways, Ah've got to go see Rarity. She says she's got some 'magnificent' news to share with me. I hope it'll explain what in tarnation has happened to Spike."
"Spike?"
"Oh you haven't heard? Everyone's sayin' he's grown up like a corn stalk in summer. Ah just hope it ain't like the last time he got...big."
"Oh my. At least Rarity seems to be in a good mood. When I passed by her boutique, I heard her singing and it sounded so happy. I think I even saw her dancing when I looked in the windows."
"Dancin'? Yeah, well. Good luck to you, Fluttershy. Let me know how it all goes."
"I will. Thank you, Applejack."
"Mah pleasure."
Applejack tipped her hat, Fluttershy waved, and the two friend set off in opposite directions.
Fluttershy's ears began to turn back and her pace began to slow. What was she going to say to Brendon? And how was she going to get close to him?
"Yes. Close to him. But for his sake. Because he needs me. Yes. That's it."
And though Fluttershy knew this to be true, she also felt a stirring within her. She had a great desire to truly know this strange person. Sure, she had wanted to get to know her good friends as soon as she'd met them, but this curiosity seemed altogether different. Everything she gained about him gave her a kind of joyful satisfaction, like slowly unrolling an absolutely beautiful picture. But even more than this was a lingering memory from the dream: a desire to be known.
* * *
After finally reaching the Cutie Mark Crusaders' tree-house, I let go of the cart and collapsed. The grass felt so good. As soon as the cart was down, the colts and fillies all jumped down and began running around the base of the tree as though it were some kind of victory circle. The others soon joined them, with a few scampering up the ladder and jumping around the tree house. There were whoops and hollers and all kinds of merriment. I heard a few thuds from the cart, and gathered that many of them had thrown their sacks of spoils inside. Slowly, I picked myself up, dusted myself off, and found Pinkie Pie standing beside me. I placed my hands on my knees and tried to recuperate.
"That was sooo much fun! " she said, giving one little hop in the air. "We should go back and do that again!"
Several foals heard this and soon there were a few cries of "Really?" "Let's go right now!" "Can we Mister - I mean Captain Brendon?"
"No way!" I blurted out. "I'll be working for Pinkie Pie for months! Also, I'm exhausted."
"Well," said Pinkie Pie, "You did a great job! Everyone had a great time."
"I didn't do anything. I just came up with the idea. You made it happen, Pinkie."
"Oh, but it couldn't have happened without you! You should do something like this every day!"
I couldn't hold back the groan. "Maybe you have that kind of energy, but I don't. Maybe like, every few months. Maybe. But I think I'll just come up with the ideas and let you do all the hard work."
"Suit yourself! I think it'll be even better next time! And maybe it'll be three times as big!"
Another groan escaped my lips. I finally let go of my knees and stood up straight. The fatigue was leaving me, and I felt ready for the last part of the game that I had been thinking about since we ransacked the market place. I placed both hands beside my mouth.
"Attention on deck! Every pony that's shipshape, scramble to the fortress -" (Here I shuddered before continuing) - " of The Pretty Pirates of Ponyville!"
Oh God.
Every pony either stopped and obeyed, or followed their friends soon after. In a few short moments, the whole tree-house was packed with two dozen ponies, the wood creaking slightly under all their weight. A few glances at Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo told me they were a bit nervous of all these bodies in their hideaway.
"Now, yer scurvy sea dogs," I shouted, ignoring the few corrective cries of "Ponies" that rang back. "'Tis true ye did a mighty fine raid upon the hapless people of Mar Ket Placé. Ye were quick, ruthless , and we all had a barrel full of fun! Right?!"
Huge shouts and stamping of hooves came back, along with mixed shouts of "Yo ho ho!" "Arrrrgh!" "Ahoy!" etc.
"But!" I said, raising one hand threateningly. "Ye forget one very important thing!" Here I marched back to the cart. "Here we have this fine booty! This great heap of treasure! And you left it with me, a greedy pirate! So..." I took hold of the front of the cart. "...I'll be takin' me half of the booty. And ye can have your share." I nodded to the three or so sacks on the ground nearby. Then I gave a quick salute, picked up my load, and ran. An almost unanimous cry went up to the heavens.
"Get him!"
I heard the sound of tiny thunder pounding up behind me. The fillies and colts were after me, quick as they could, and they kept up a continuous noise of outrage mixed with laughter. My own laugh rang out in the wind whipping past my face. When was the last time I'd been chased, for any reason? I glanced back and saw Pinkie Pie among all the rest of them, but I figured she must be holding herself back. There's no way I should be able to outrun her, but that explained a lot. It showed she knew the game and wanted to keep it going as long as she could.
I figured I'd run until my body completely gave out, but I didn't want to go near any other ponies. So I ran around the outskirts of the town, a colorful romping of foals close behind me. It felt like forever, though it may have only been ten or fifteen minutes, but it was so much fun. The runner's high was numbing my thoughts. I felt some kind of weight dropping off of me, and I was laughing so hard I thought I was going to start crying. And if I started crying...
The little ones were almost on me, I was dodging trees even as I felt my body demanding I stop, when I saw her. Maybe it was my exhaustion that made me fail to notice, or my mind was too far gone to pay attention, but I looked up and it seemed like she came out of nowhere. Fluttershy was just standing there in a white dress with short, green frills along its edges, her feet were together, her hands clasped before her, and her ears back. There was a kind of pleading look in her eyes. And I was about to hit her.
Without thinking, I tried to plant both feet in front of me. Unlike any piece of fiction I'd ever seen, this was entirely ineffective. I felt the cart slow a tiny bit before it hit me in the back, causing me to slam face first into the soft dirt. Luckily I was in the middle as the cart passed over me, so none of the wheels found my limbs. I heard it overturn as I lay there, followed by the arrival of all the other ponies.
"That's what you get for tryin' to steal our booty!" said Apple Bloom, her accent making it sound more like "boot-tay." I chuckled into the ground.
I picked my face out of the dirt and groaned, "Worth it!"
"But, um, seriously, are you alright?" asked Scootaloo. They were all crowding round me now. I noticed something flapping above their heads. Fluttershy was hovering over them, her wings beating in the air.
Oh right! She can fly! Stupid.
Feeling the heat rise to my face, I tried pushing myself off the ground.
"Well, my arms are still working. Um, can someone please help me?"
Far too many little hands grabbed me from everywhere and yanked me into a sitting, then standing position. When they let me go, I stumbled for a bit to keep my balance, but everything seemed at least functional. It all hurt, but I was still okay.
My world began to drift in two. One part of me was in the moment, laughed with the foals, and bantered with them as they crowded around me with various small talk that I would never remember. I noticed Pinkie Pie politely taking back the pirate paraphernalia. The other part of me kept glancing over at Fluttershy, and began sweating in a near panic at the thought of talking to her - of facing her. That part wanted to leave so desperately, and all of these people were terrible obstacles in my way. Where was all that happiness? Where was all that carefree revelry in memories of childhood?
"Did you hear me, Mister Brendon?" asked Sweetie Bell.
"Hmm? What?" I had been miles away.
"I said , when can we play again?"
"Oh. Uh. Well, we'll just have to see. I guess you didn't get 'Playing with a human' mark, huh?"
"No," sighed Apple Bloom. "And we already tried for our pirate marks."
"Yeah," said Scootaloo. "And we had to repair all of those cannon ball holes."
"Wait, what? "
"Nothing!" they all cried at once, and began to run off. The others began to go off by themselves or in small groups. Eventually it was just Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, and myself. I had hoped I'd feel comfortable with less people, or ponies, but instead I felt worse.
Pinkie Pie put a gentle hand on my shoulder.
"I think I'm going to need that stuff back."
"Oh. Right. Here you go." And I removed the cloak, hat, eye patch, pantaloons (which were over my own), and fake scar. Somehow, Pinkie squirreled it all away in her hair. I could only imagine the multi-dimensional depths in that hairdo.
"Um," came Fluttershy's gentle voice as she stepped forward. "Can I talk to you, Brendon?"
"Uh - "
"Of course you can, Fluttershy!" said Pinkie, her smile as bubbly as ever. "He's right here!"
"Pinkie," said Fluttershy, "This is kind of...private."
"Ooooooh," said Pinkie. "You mean I should plug my ears?"
"Pinkie," I said. "I'll...meet up with you later. Okay?"
"Oh. Okay. No matter what, I'll see you when we leave for the camping trip!"
I don't want to think about that: a place where I cannot be alone.
"Oh. That's great." My face showed no enthusiasm. All of this was lost on Pinkie Pie as she smiled and hopped away.
I watched her go as it kept me from having to look at Fluttershy. I searched my mind frantically for something - any thing - that I could use as an excuse to get away. Even if there was one, my thoughts were too jumbled to come up with anything.
Fluttershy took a step closer. I took a step back. Her ears were still back and her face was all worry, and something else I couldn't place. I was sure my own face showed everything I felt; I was no good at hiding my emotions. It was one reason why I never played poker. My face grew warm and sweat beaded under my arms.
"Please," she quietly pleaded, "Can you talk to me?"
Slowly, I nodded. "Sure. Okay."
Author's Note
I'm on a roll and the story keeps going. Let's find out where it goes. Come tumbling down the rabbit hole with me.
Much love and appreciation to my readers who keep on giving me more reasons to write. Any of you can PM me if you don't feel like leaving a comment. (Suggestions may be considered, but I reserve the right to purge them in flames.)
What do you mean, "friend?"
Chapter 17) Taking it Slow
Now all the demons look like prophets And I'm living out every word they speak.
Do you know What I mean When I say I don't want to be alone?
-Jars of Clay
____________________________________________________________________
There we stood, Fluttershy and I, as a gentle breeze ruffled the leaves of the few trees around us. The sun was just past the midday and clouds drifted overhead. One of them passed over the sun and for a few seconds a shadow fell over me. Fluttershy, however, stayed in the sunlight.
Figures.
The silence was getting to me. Maybe it had only been thirty seconds, but I hated every passing moment. What did she want from me? How could I make this torture go away?
"What," I managed, "What do you want me to say?"
"Please," Fluttershy practically whispered, "Just talk to me." She turned her head away with a look of brief frustration, and then turned back to me. "Then can you tell me why you jumped out the window this morning?"
"I...I needed some air."
Great! So we start with a lie, and it's not even a good one. Damn it, I can't think right now!
"Was - was that all? Did ... umm ... did it have anything to do with what ... happened this morning?"
I looked at her blankly, then at the ground, and then I tried to trace blades of grass with my eyes to distract myself. The time seemed to crawl on, but Fluttershy didn't say anything. I looked up and she gave me a very tiny smile, almost as if she was encouraging me.
- She has so much pity for you. You're like a pathetic child standing before their parent.
No, I think maybe she really cares.
- About a boy who comes into her room and then cums all over her bed? Stop fantasizing.
I had to say something.
"Yeah. Kind of."
"It's okay, Brendon."
"No," I blurted out. "No it's not."
Nothing's okay. I'm never okay
- It never was. Never will be.
Shut up! Goddammit, shut up! Leave me alone at this moment, of all moments!
"Brendon," said Fluttershy, and her tone seemed to tighten my chest. "You can tell me what's wrong."
"How are you ... how are you even talking to me?"
"I don't understand."
I fought tooth and nail to keep my voice from breaking. "I was in your room , practically naked! I ... I did ... what I did ... on your sheets. And I k-k-kis ... I touched you. Without ... permission."
"You didn't know what you were doing." Her tone almost made it sound like a question, she didn't really know the truth. She probably wanted me to explain.
Did I know what I was doing?
- Of course you did! You wanted to take her! You wanted to take advantage of her!
No! I ... thought it would be consensual. That somehow she'd be awake and then ... I don't know!
- A teenage boy's fantasy! You're twenty seven! Wake the fuck up!
But I didn't mean for that to happen!
- Doesn't matter! Some part of you wanted it, even if you didn't know. It's still your fault.
Is it? That doesn't make sense!
I shook my head in near desperation.
"But ... I should never have ended up there. There's no excuse for that."
"You said you were sleep walking."
"Well, yeah. I guess."
"Then don't blame yourself so much. I don't."
"What?"
She's lying! She hates you! She despises you!
"Brendon, I don't know what's going on. I don't understand why you ran away, but I wasn't hurt when I woke up."
-She can't understand you. There's something broken in you. You are Wrong.
Fluttershy looked down for a moment and gave a soft chuckle. "I was a little confused and a bit embarrassed seeing you there, but I wasn't hurt. Now I'm just worried about you. I want to help."
Again, the word was pulled out of me in an instant. "Why?"
This seemed to throw Fluttershy. She looked as if she'd been struck and took half a step backward.
"Be-because I'm your friend, Brendon. I care about you."
- Don't forget what she does! She doesn't see you as a person.
"Am I? I'm not just some...lost animal that you need to care for?"
"What?"
"How can you just care about me? I'm not ... I'm not worth ... "
-Yes. That's it. Keep going. I command it.
"Don't lie to me, Fluttershy! I'm ... I-I-I'm ..." My voice cracked. The tears were so close. "I'm filth! I'm garbage! Get away from me! This never turns out well for me."
"Wh-what doesn't?"
"This ! Friendship! Love! An-an-anything!" A sob broke out. "I mess everything up, I-I-I-I - "
"That's not true!" Fluttershy looked on the verge of tears herself.
-Look! You're making her cry! Look at what a "good" friend you are! Leave now before you keep hurting her.
The thought of wounding Fluttershy was worse than I could bear, but I was torn between a desire to leave and a need to stay. Meanwhile, she took a step closer to me. I found myself backed up against a tree.
"L-look," she said, her voice more forceful than I'd heard before. "You made those foals laugh and have fun. That's something you did well." She gave another tiny smile. Any part of me that was still sane clung to that image.
Yeah. I did do that, didn't I?
- No. It was like you said, it was all Pinkie Pie.
But...I wanted that to happen. I helped come up with it.
"Yes," I said as some of the tension in my shoulders went out. "I - I guess I did help with that."
"And," she continued, "You helped me with our meals, and Applejack at the farm. And a bunch of other little things too. I know it may not seem like much, but you did do it."
- So stupid. Those were nothing.
But...it's still evidence that I did something. I mean, I can look at them and say I accomplished something. And I didn't screw that up. There's been a bunch of those. Why can't I remember?
- She's desperate. This is pity as its finest. She feels so sorry for you.
No. No, that's not it. Or that's not all of it.
- Shut up! Listen to me!
Who are you? You sound ... different. Are you really - ?
- Stop thinking! Run away! You're nothing! You're shit! Who could possibly care about -
"And ... and ... " Fluttershy glanced down, her eyes shifting to me briefly. It looked like she was having a hard time getting it out, whatever it was. Her voice became more quiet. "I think you've been doing fine. I mean, I'm glad that you've come to live here. If you want to stay, that is. I feel ... "
My whole world seemed to titter on the edge.
- Don't listen to - mmmmmf!
You. Shut. Up. The. Lady. Is. TALKING!
"Go on Fluttershy," I said gently. "Please."
She nodded a thank you, a smile growing on her face. "I like having you here. I know I don't know you very well, but I would ... I would really like to. But you look like you're in pain and I - " Her lip quivered. "I want to help you. Please. You can talk to me."
My heart wanted to pour everything out, but I couldn't think of where to begin. I was overwhelmed with emotion.
"I - I - I - I - ulp." I broke down. I sobbed, and with each sob I tried to stop it and keep the next one at bay. "I'm ... too ... broken, I - "
Through the blur of tears, I barely saw Fluttershy move. Suddenly I was wrapped in a soft embrace and all my defenses crumbled. I couldn't even lift my arms as I sobbed onto her shoulder. She patted my back gently and kept whispering, "It's okay," into my ear over and over again. We just stood there. Eventually I moved my own hands up and gripped her tightly, not wanting this moment to end. I started mimicking her words in my head.
I'm okay. I'm okay. I am okay. I will be okay. It's okay.
- Stop this.
Get out.
- That's never worked before.
I'm okay.
Laughter rang out in the background of my thoughts. It was more disturbing than if there had been words. I had to keep the silence away, otherwise it would be filled. And I couldn't stand what would fill it.
"Fl-fluttershy," I stammered, my voice a little rough from the cry. "Can we, um, can we walk? Can we go somewhere?"
"Sure."
We pulled back a little, our arms still around each other. I looked her in the face and stared, trying to understand what I was seeing.
She cares about me. She really wants to get to know me. She doesn't hate me. Why does this seem so new? What is wrong with me?
-You just see the truth about yourself. She can't see it.
How did I forget that I don't have any meds? I'm completely without them.
-Shut up! Listen to Me!
Something's wrong. You don't talk about yourself. You're supposed to be me. What are you?
Suddenly, in the span of a few seconds, a lot of things clicked together in my brain. I had taken reality for granted, and that I could even think clearly. Without my meds I had no clarity and I forgot what it was like to have them in my system. I began to see that I was so far off that I couldn't trust myself. At all.
The next realization was on the the other voice in my head. It had always been me or, as I called it, the Depression. But I knew it wasn't really a separate person , it was just a part of me. But today was different. I actually had someone, or something, locked inside my skull with me. Perhaps someone else would have panicked, or been horrified, but I smiled.
It wasn't me ! It had a form. It was some kind of "other." And that meant, as I perceived in that moment, that I could fight it. It was a real adversary. At last!
All of this came together as I kept looking at Fluttershy.
"B-Brendon, what is it?"
"Huh? Oh, I was just thinking: things might not be really all that bad."
Her smile lit up her face. "I'm glad. Come on," she gave me a little peck on the cheek, gripped my hand in hers, and began leading me toward Ponyville. "I'm a little hungry."
I found I couldn't speak. I couldn't think of...anything at all. My other hand went to my cheek. My lips pressed together so hard they hurt. And for some reason it seemed familiar, like a walk in the woods.
A tiny, almost indistinguishable squeal could be heard.
"Was that you?" asked Fluttershy, turning to me.
"Hmmm? Oh. No. Eh-heh !"
"Oh. Your ears are really red."
"Yeah. It always starts at the ears. Works its way in."
"What does?"
"N-nothing! Sure is beautiful today!"
"Yes," she replied, turning away to the view that lay before us. "It really is."
She didn't see the blush cover the rest of my face. It practically burned.
* * *
The hospital room was still filled with silence. Twilight Sparkle's face seemed at peace as her eyes remained closed. She shifted slightly, turning on her side. A small muffled sound came from her lips, a cross between a sigh and what might have been garbled words. The two other figures in the room looked on with hopeful apprehension.
"That's been happening more and more, Princess Celestia."
"I assume that is a good sign?"
"Oh yes, indeed. It's only a matter of time before she's finally awake."
"That is even better than I'd hoped. Will she make a full recovery?"
"Well, we won't know until she wakes up. Her body may be extremely weak, and we still don't know what other tolls it's taken on her body or her, umm..."
"Her mind. Yes. And perhaps her magic. Thank you, Nurse Sweetheart. You've been most helpful and I am especially grateful for your care of my best student."
"You-you're welcome, Princess. I only wish I could give you more concrete answers."
"It is better you tell me the truth. You are doing a fine job."
"Thank you, Princess. I'll give you some time alone."
Celestia nodded. After the nurse had gone, she stepped forward and leaned close to Twilight. She turned around quickly, as though she feared someone else was in the room. Turning back she leaned even closer.
"Please wake up, Twilight," she whispered. Her eyes darted around even now, searching for something - anything - that might be unseen. "I fear we may need you sooner than I'd like. The Elements of Harmony will be needed, and without you they will not be complete. Something dark is stirring and it has affected my sister. Perhaps, in fected is a better word. Please, Twilight. We need you."
Slowly Celestia turned to go. She looked back at the sleeping pony one last time before closing the door.
"Please."
* * *
I was quiet on our walk into Ponyville, and even as I said hello to our waiter at the Cafe Hey, my mind was somewhere else. All of the events leading up til now, the words shared, the small moments, the hints, the cues, the dreams, the realizations - I attempted to grasp all of that through the terrible, dark-tinted lens through which I saw the world. And even then I couldn't help but see part of what had been going on. Through the darkness, a tiny stream of light seemed to shine through. It was filled with hope. I took a deep breath.
"What do you want to order, Brendon?"
"Huh? What? Oh, uh. Right. Food." I finally looked at the menu I'd been staring right through, trying to find something my human digestion could contain.
Fluttershy gave a soft giggle. "You'll have to forgive him, he's had a bit of a day."
I smiled nervously, and picked a salad topped with apples and nuts. Sounded pretty good. The waiter took our menus and went to bring our drinks.
Fluttershy smiled at me and I saw one ear flicking back and forth a bit. I took that she was still worried but trying not to show it. Maybe I was getting these tells down a bit better. Or I was completely wrong.
"Brendon," she said, her tone soft, "You don't have to, but if there's something more you want to say about, well, before, I'd love to hear it."
Don't beat about the bush. Just say it. Don't drag this out. You can't dance around this forever.
I took a deep breath. And then I proceeded to sit there, paralyzed, staring at the table and shaking like a leaf. The words were right there in my head! I could say them and then it'd be all over. What did I risk? Honestly? But fear kept those words locked in my mouth. A nagging pain told me that I was biting my lower lip so hard that I would soon cut the skin. Glancing at my left hand, I saw the knuckles were white. I hadn't even realized I was making a fist. Finally, I glanced up at Fluttershy and from her expression I must have appeared like I was having an attack of some kind.
"Are-are you okay?"
I turned my head and noticed other patrons were glancing at me. Sweat beaded on my forehead.
"Fluttershy," I said through gritted teeth. "I - I need to ... tell you ... something."
"Y-yes?" I couldn't read her expression at all.
"But...it's really ... difficult."
"Is - is there anything I can do to help?"
Vibrating, I contemplated this in silence.
"Ask me something?"
"Um... like what?"
"How I feel about ..." I couldn't get the last words out.
"...about what?"
My eyes pleaded.
"Ask me...please. "
Fluttershy looked flabbergasted and I saw her begin to get nervous.
"Okay. Okay. Uh, Brendon? How do you feel about...Ponyville?"
"It's great!" I said, the words coming out so quick it was like gasp for air. "Everyone is so nice, here. I - I - I would love to get to know more of it."
"But...that wasn't the thing I was supposed to ask you, was it?"
A strained smile crossed my features. "No. But thank you."
"Oh. Okay. Um, how do you feel about ... yourself?"
"I - I - I don't know. Lately it's been so hard for me."
"Can ... can you tell me a little more? I mean, if you can?"
This wasn't supposed to go this way.
"Well, back where I come from, there's a saying: 'Love thy neighbor as thou lovest thyself.' It, um, it means we should care about everyone else just as much as we care about ourselves."
"Oh," she smiled at this turn of the conversation, and I felt some tension leave me as I had an excuse to talk about something else. "That's wonderful!"
"It is. I have a problem with it. But it's not loving others as much as myself. I would never, ever do that. For me, it's harder to love myself as much as I love my neighbor."
"Oooh, Brendon," cooed Fluttershy. "I'm sorry. Why are you so ... so down on yourself?"
"I didn't want to tell you. It's why, before, I told you I was broken, because I am."
"What do you mean?"
I then proceeded to gently tell Fluttershy some of what I had told Princess Celestia. I had a depression. I'd had it for years and would probably have it the rest of my life. In Equestria I had no access to my medications and I had been getting much worse. My mind was now so far from reality that I couldn't see myself clearly at all, and all I saw was a horrible person who didn't deserve to live in this nice place with such kindness as I had been shown. I felt I was a taint on this place and anyone around me.
"B-but, you are not !" Fluttershy emphasized her words as she stood up, her hands hitting the table. "You are not a bad person!" Suddenly she looked around and noticed everyone staring at her. Smiling coyly she sat down as our waiter came up, bringing us our drinks. Apparently I had ordered a tea and a glass of water without thinking.
"You...you're probably not wrong. But I have such a hard time believing it right now. It's kind of related to what I wanted to talk to you about." Once again I stared at the table, but much of my previous tension was gone.
"Brendon, what do you - ?"
"I like you, Fluttershy."
She gasped, her hand going straight to her mouth. Every hair on her body seemed to have stood up for a split second. Inwardly , part of me cheered that I could actually have that affect on a female - regardless of race or species. Her face began to match the pink of her mane.
"Y-y-you... oh my."
"Yeah. I, uh, I like you." It took so much effort to look her in the eyes. I desperately wanted to look away and tell her everything else without staring into those eyes. But I had to face this, I had to be brave. For once.
"You've been a good friend to me here in Equestria. I can't even begin to understand why you have tried so hard to help me, giving me a place to stay, helping me around town, even throwing a party for me. But the fact that you've stuck with me today ... I mean, I'd have given up on me already. Maybe that's me, but I've been hurt...so much. One day, maybe, I'll tell you about some of that but, well...it's what makes this really hard to say."
Don't cry. Don't cry.
"I know you probably like me too - Don't say anything! Please, not yet! But, as much as I'd like to see where this might go, I can't - can't - can't -" I clenched my fist under the table. "- I'm scared this is all too easy! I might hurt you or something worse might happen, I'm a bag of problems. I mean, I've known you three days, this is crazy that I have these feelings for you!"
Or you might hurt me! You might leave me! Maybe I am just a wounded animal and you'll lose interest once I'm better! Maybe you're the first female to come along and I'm just infatuated! You're smoking hot and to me you're an ideal, life can't possibly work this way!
I turned my head away, trying to collect my thoughts, knowing I was screwing this up as I couldn't say what I really wanted to say.
"Wh-what are you saying, Brendon?" Her face looked like I was about to break her heart. But that wasn't what I wanted. Not by far.
I let out a long sigh, closed my eyes, and then breathed in. "I'm saying, and failing miserably," here I tried to give her an awkward smile, "that I'd like to get to know you more before we go there. You're a great mare, from just the little I know of you, but can we, um, can we take this slow?"
The tears in her eyes coupled with her smile somehow made her more beautiful in that moment. She sniffed and nodded. It told me so much more than words.
"Mmm hmm."
My shoulders slackened as even more tension fell away.
"Good. That's...that's good."
I wanted to hold her at that moment, but I knew I couldn't do that. I held out my hand.
Tentatively, she took it.
Immediately we were interrupted by the food arriving, but I found it a great distraction as I dove right in. A stadium of cheers filled my brain. I kept glancing up at Fluttershy, wishing I could read her thoughts.
* * *
Fluttershy was still dazed from the emotional roller coaster she had just gone through as she had listened to Brendon. A few thoughts stood out in that daze. One was simple: "He likes me!"
Coupled with that were feelings that stirred deep within her. Some of those feelings had her a little worried. Did she need more of Zecora's cake? No, those had to be deeper feelings within her. This was unrelated to the cake. A sudden pulse in her nether regions brought a breathless gasp out of her. Maybe it really was more than one thing at a time. She needed to get away soon.
This thought was followed by one that was tinged with fear. Did she really like this man, or was it just her heat? What if he had been right, and he was just some wounded animal to her, someone to care for until they were all better? And added on to all of that was some biological pull she had that cared nothing for who he was as a person? Was he just some object?
As Fluttershy ate her food in near silence, a doubt ate at her in return. At the same time a wave of heat slowly crept into her body, but she would deal with that when it came to it. This gave her another idea.
When the heat passed, really passed, then she would Know the Truth.
Author's Note
You'd think I'd have more time to write, what with this whole problem with Corona (with Lime) wouldn't you? But my current living circumstances actually make this harder to find time to accomplish. Nonetheless, I am finishing this chapter.
(NO, I don't have to hide my little [soon to be] pornographic soap opera with anthropomorphic ponies. Why the HELL would that be the case? Ridiculous!)
But I am still dedicated and NOTHING will keep this from going forward. I hope you enjoy this latest chapter. More to come!
What do you mean, "friend?"
Chapter 18) This is what I want
Elsewhere.
You need to connect with him again. There is more that we can take from him.
"I do not know. What will this gain? And how will it be to his good?"
Your power can draw out his suffering. You have seen how you helped him before. He is too much a child to do it on his own. And besides, you would get so much out of it as well.
"No. It's wrong. It is wrong. We do not do this. One should not be taken and discarded. He has experienced that already."
But it will only be in his mind. And he will not be discarded, will he? And you are so alone.
"No, I'm - "
Millennia spent in darkness. You deserved it, of course. So alone. Very much alone. No one to comfort you. None to stand beside you. Just for a moment.
"I was not myself. It's not who I am!"
There is so much of it in here. In the recesses. Even if you cannot find it. There is deep night in here. The black of the woods in deepest hollows. The screaming in the dark. The shriek before death. The howling to the moon. Now it has mingled with Me. And I can help you.
"We do not need help. Do we?"
Celestia does not trust you. See how she hides from you, and she will not share her councils. She would leave you out. In the dark. Again.
"No. No! She is my beloved sister! I am not Nightmare Moon!"
It will make no difference in the end. She will banish you again. See: the children still speak of you in fright. They fear you. Mothers still whisper your name to frighten their little ones into obedience. You are a myth of evil. They will all leave you. All reject you.
"N-n-no. Please. It can't be true. My mind. I can't understand..."
Then let me help. Show them how good you are. Go to him. Reform him. Didn't it feel good to touch him so intimately? To draw out such pain? Now relieve him of more. And this time, perhaps you can get something out of it yourself. After all...
"I have been so alone. It has been so long."
Yes. My words exactly. Now, think upon him. All of him. See what you can gain? How you can help each other? Go. Take from him. It will be fine.
"Oh. Oh we see what you mean. The image is clear. Yes. It is attractive."
Of course it is. When I tell you, we can go. It will be so good to see him again.
* * *
Looking back on the dinner, I have to assume the salad was good since I ate it all off the plate. But I cannot recall what it tasted like. My whole thought was bent on the mare across from me. It was difficult for me to not jump for joy inside, give myself a high five, or begin fantasizing of all kinds of good things our future held. Particularly the physical kind. But the rest of me - the cynical, bitter, cautious parts - held me in check. I still fantasized, but the thought was constantly interrupted by other thoughts. They ranged from: "Remember you've been hurt before," "You're only thinking of the good bits but you know what's coming," "You're too 'experienced' to think this will be easy," to other thoughts like "Run now before you break her heart," "You thought you had found The One before," and "What if you can go home? What then?"
This bounced around my brain for a few minutes, the butterflies in my stomach fighting with the wasp nest close to my heart. It must have seemed to Fluttershy that my salad was incredibly interesting to look at, judging by how my eyes didn't leave it. But when a soft noise made me look up, my inner conversation shut down.
Fluttershy was also staring intently at her food. Her face, however, was turning an adorable shade of pink and she seemed to be shaking ever so slightly. Her ears were back and her lips were smiling, but it was a trembling smile. It was as though she were holding back so much happiness and was trying to make sure it didn't burst out. At least, that's what I thought at first. The noise I had heard was a soft little "Mmm," she kept making when she was taking a bite. Every so often she shifted in her seat. It was this cute sight that enthralled me and turned all my thoughts to one voice.
I made her all flustered!
Perhaps it's stupid how proud I felt at that one moment. I was reminded of the first girl I'd ever asked to kiss me and how adorable she looked as she blushed, covered her face with a gasp, and tried to stammer out a response. I, who had never thought of himself as very attractive, found it amazing. Of course the girl then gave me a rather thorough, "No," but the moment stayed locked as a point of great confidence in my memory. Here, however, was something similar but I already had a "Yes."
Too bad it's not a kiss.
She might say yes if you asked.
No. I'll be lost then. No turning back. I can't take that chance.
Fluttershy was also so much more adorable than that girl had been. As a loose strand of hair fell in front of her eyes, she brushed it aside. The gesture was seemingly small, but my eyes followed every movement and thought it simply lovely. It also caused her to glimpse me out of the corner of her eye. She looked up.
There was a pause.
"Brendon?"
"Hmmm?"
"What is it?"
"What?"
"Do I have something on my face?"
You do. It's called cuteness.
"R-really?" stammered Fluttershy. "Oh my. I mean, thank you."
I blinked. I hadn't just thought that, had I? I actually said it.
Shit!
I checked myself. Here I was, leaning on my elbow, in the classic pose of the guy staring at the girl and completely lost in the moment. Not good.
"You-you're welcome."
Her ears flicked up and down and a soft rustling noise told me her tail was moving. From the sound of it she could probably dust the ground at the rate she was going.
"Ummm, do you want dessert?"
"Yes!" she said immediately. I blinked.
Yeah I could easily think of something I'd Very much want for dessert right now.
"Oh really? What would that be?"
Damn it! I did it again!
Trying not to panic, I took a deep breath and let it out slow. My impulse control must have been going nuts! I had to get myself under some kind of control, but those eyes, and that mouth and face and...everything.
Everything I've been holding back is flooding out! I can't let this happen! Fight it! And say something!
"Uh, well, you ponies wouldn't have in here. I guess I'm just a little bit homesick." I smiled in what I hoped was not a "please believe me!" kind of way.
"Well, tell me. Maybe we do have it in Equestria."
"Uhhh, well my favorite has always been Créme Brulée."
"Oh. No, I don't think we do have that."
"That's alright. No big deal."
"But I think I heard of Rarity having something that that in Manehatten."
"What?"
"Rarity. She ate -"
"No yeah, I heard that part. Where was it again?"
"Manehatten."
"Really ?"
"What?"
"Huh?"
"You said 'really.' Have you heard of it?"
"What? No. I mean, kind of. I mean - " I sighed deeply and then smiled. "- it's really nothing."
Fluttershy looked at me as though she must have disappointed me.
"We - we could try to see if she knows a recipe. Maybe we could try to make it at home."
"Your home?"
"Hmmm?"
"Well you just said 'home.' I mean - "
"Well - "
"Yeah, I mean I understand -"
She looked down for a moment, then her eyes found mine. The look she gave me made me want to hold her and comfort her. It was a struggle.
"Can't it be our home?"
I started. "What?"
"You - you could call it home. For now."
"Fluttershy..."
"I - I know you have a home in your world, but you can think of my cottage as a home. You can stay as long as you want." She paused. "You do want to stay. Don't you?"
For an instant I realized it would make it so much easier to sort out my feelings if we had some distance between us. Then I saw what I'd never really comprehended before: we'd be Living Together. Both with feelings for the other. This suddenly felt like a commitment. I had many reasons to say no, so i said:
"Yes. Yes, that sounds just...great."
What did I just say?!
No take-backsies!
Fluttershy gave a little gasp as she smiled, her eyes shining. A weight seemed to lift off her shoulders and she gave a shuddering sigh of contentment. She adjusted her mane, smoothed out her dress, and then just looked at me. I didn't know what to do with that look.
What's going on with me? I'm not thinking clear. For a different reason this time, I mean.
Because there's a Girl that Likes me! And it's been so long since I've felt...this. So much to look forward to. So many potential - (control the eyes, control the eyes) - pleasures ahead of me!
Yeaaaaaaah.
Legs, shoulders, lips, eyes, bosom, hips, thighs, soft fuzzy hands...
Think good do all the time so well cause ... ponies.
I sighed with a stupid smile on my face.
"So," said Fluttershy in a near whisper, her smile seemed nervous and I saw a brief shiver go through her. "Dessert?"
Stop. Think. Then answer.
"Sure, why don't you pick something for us to share?" I looked down for a second. Something else had been on my mind.
"Oh. Well what do you want to know?"
I scratched my chin in thought. "I guess, I'll start with your family. You have any siblings?"
"Oh yes, my brother, Zephyr Breeze. He's currently at mane therapy school. He's going to become a mane therapist."
"So, wait, he's like the head specialist?"
"What?"
"You said the main therapist, right? Like the central one?"
Fluttershy giggled. "No, as in manes ," here she twiddled her mane in one finger, her pink hair curling around it. "He's going to work in a styling salon."
"Ooooh," I said with a laugh. "I'm sorry, it's going to take me some time to get used to this."
"Oh, don't worry. It's absolutely fine. Really." She reached forward tentatively and took my hand again. I was amazed at the heat radiating off of her. I took a closer look at her. Was she sweating? How had I not noticed it before? Then again, I'd been too distracted by my own nervous neurosis to really look at details. And her "nervous" smile seemed to be getting... more nervous.
"Um, are you alright?" I asked.
"Yes! Absolutely!" she said, far too quickly.
"Okaaaay," I said, slowly. "Fluttershy, you know you can tell me if something's bothering you, too, right? If you're not feeling well we could just go home."
"No, no, no, I'll be fine. Really. I-I'm just not quite feeling alright, but it'll pass I'm sure."
The waiter came by soon and Fluttershy ordered a sundae for us. She also not-so-subtly asked the waiter to rush it out with the bill. The waiter gave me a raised eyebrow, a smile, and a wink before heading off.
Time for another topic change.
"So, have you always lived in Ponyville?"
"Oh no, I used to live in Cloudsdale with my parents. I eventually moved out when I realized how much I loved the animals on the ground and didn't want to stay stuck up in the clouds. It's where I met Rainbow Dash."
"Oh yeah, she mentioned she was your oldest friend."
Fluttershy smiled at the thought of her friend. "Yes, Rainbow Dash has been a good friend. She even tried to help protect me from... well... some bullies when I was little."
"Someone would bully you ? But you're the sweetest pony I've ever met!"
Don't think about how many ponies you've actually met.
"Oh, well, um, thank you. But it's no big deal. I'm sure if I'd just done some things, you know, better, then they wouldn't have made fun of me. I was never a good flyer when I was very little."
"Hang on, hang on, hang on. Please, don't blame yourself for how others treat you. You aren't responsible for them, and I'm sure you didn't provoke them."
"Oh, I'm s-"
"-and don't apologize for being sorry."
That seemed to stop her in her tracks.
"Random topic change," I said again. "i noticed that you seem much more brave when you're trying to help someone else. I think it's more when you look at just yourself you seem to put yourself down."
Fluttershy looked at me in an odd way.
"Like, for example," I said, "Didn't you...um, didn't you tell me you thought your wings were too small? Or...uhhh... that you weren't very pretty?"
When was that again?
"Wait, Brendon," Fluttershy said with a rising excitement. "That was in the dream from last night."
"The ... dream?" Something in my brain felt like it was short circuiting. What was going on?
"Yes! We both had the same dream last night, I'm sure of it! I don't know how, but I only told you that in the dream."
"Wait, I don't know if I remember it that well. Give me a min - "
Fluttershy suddenly grabbed my hand in both of hers. Her eyes were intense but her face was shining. "I'll never forget that! You made me feel so special. I was so scared when you looked...in me. But you... you accepted me. You saw all of me and you weren't frightened away." She sniffed and I saw tears forming in her eyes. "I can't... I can't say what that meant to me. I can still feel it."
I was caught between thinking her mad and getting caught up in her passionate joy. My head did feel a little tingly and I was getting a massive feeling of deja vu. But if this was all actually true...
"I - I don't remember it."
"...what?"
"Sorry. I don't remember the dream that well. I remember it must have been very, uh, very good. But I can't remember all the details."
Fluttershy seemed to deflate a little at that. She looked embarrassed and I could tell that she had hoped I would have joined her in her excitement and remembrance. But I knew something was there . There was something inside, wasn't there? It begged me to take an inward look, and it had been calling out ever since I'd woken up. But I didn't realize it until that moment. There was an important message, too. Something about a Fall...
I smiled in what I hoped was a reassuring way. "I'm sure it'll come back. I can feel ... something there. Something special that must have happened."
"Oh yes, it did. That's why I was so surprised you looked so fearful this morning. I didn't understand what you had done that was so wrong?"
"But ... ummm ... you know that I ... uh..."
"...yes, Brendon? I was there. You can say it."
"I ... came on your bed."
"Oh. Oh my. I - uh - don't usually talk about these things but, well, so did I."
"Wait. You did, didn't you?"
She was very red, as I knew I must be as well.
"The way the dream ended was very ... nice." Fluttershy looked down with a smile stretching from ear to ear.
"Oh," I said. "With the two of us?"
She nodded, looking incredibly embarrassed.
"Uh. Was I - ?"
"Yes! Yes, you were! Very good!"
" - walking with you in a forest?"
"Oh."
Uhhhh...what did she think I was going to ask?
We stared at each other in silence as the dessert was placed between us with two spoons and the bill dropped off beside it. I don't believe either of us heard the waiter's voice, or much of anything at that point.
Fluttershy picked up a spoon and silently started eating. It took a second for me to join her. Before I knew it, we'd eaten the whole thing. Fluttershy had managed to wolf down well over half of it on her own. I chalked it up to her sweating sheen and that she must have had to cool off rather badly. She paid the bill (which still hurt a good portion of my pride) and we silently started for home. How had so much of the day passed already? Was it already getting to be evening?
Then I realized just how tired I really was. Today I had run hard and played hard. And been run over by a heavy cart.
But I've mostly run. Especially from my problems. But it really hadn't been a problem, had it? It had really been me. Why did I make it such a big deal? Was everything really that bad?
I stopped walking, looking down with wide eyes. Fluttershy kept going but quickly noticed.
"Brendon? What's wrong?"
"Maybe nothing. I just ... I think I just realized that every time I've worried something is going to go terribly wrong, it rarely ever goes as bad as I think it will. It's... it's been a theme for me. For a long long time."
Fluttershy smiled sadly. "Well, it's a good thing you know that now, right?"
I looked at her and smiled in return. "Yeah. But it might help if someone special could remind me every now and then."
"Someone...special?"
"Yeah. She might be the kindest pony in Equestria. And a very good friend."
"Th-thank you."
I started walking again and Fluttershy followed suit. I noticed she was keeping her distance, but that wasn't odd, right? Going up hill, I really felt how sore my legs were. At one point I stumbled in the grass and fell on my knees.
"Sorry," I said with a grimace. "I guess I'm a little wobbly."
Fluttershy rushed over to help me, but as she stood right in front of me, I caught a sudden rush of heat in my face. I looked up for the source and found my gaze directed right at her crotch. And then the smell hit me. There it was again: musky and it made parts of my brain go off like sparklers. Just like in the shop, but somehow so much better. Somehow it was sweeter. As I let Fluttershy help me to my feet, I found myself staring wide-eyed right into her face. We were inches apart. Little puzzle pieces were clunking into place. From the look on her face, I believe Fluttershy suspected what I knew. She bit her lip and trembled, but whether from fear or from something else I couldn't tell.
"Fl-Fluttershy?" I whispered.
"Yes?" Hers was a husky whisper.
"How long has this been going on?"
Her ears went back and her eyes became desperate, but she still tried a trembling smile. "I don't know what you mean . How long has what been - ?"
"Please, Fluttershy. It's alright."
"I - I really noticed it yesterday. I had to go see my friend, Zecora, to get some medicine to keep it...down."
"So you've been fighting this all of yesterday?"
"Fighting it...yes. It hasn't been easy."
"But, you never said it was your time of - "
"It isn't! Something ... something brought it on."
"What? If you don't mind me asking, I mean."
She whispered her answer so quietly I couldn't hear anything. I leaned in close. So close that it made us both very nervous.
"One more time?"
"You."
A lot of things went through my head in those long moments before I said anything. One of them was a mental fist pump. Another was a check list of my own inhibitions, which seemed to be failing in light of the present circumstances. The smell radiating off of her only made things worse. I gulped.
"I'm going to ask you one more thing. Okay, Fluttershy?"
She nodded. "Mmmm."
"What would happen if I kissed you right now?"
A rush of wind took me by surprise as Fluttershy's wings opened, flapped a few times, and then settled back down. Her tail refused to stop moving.
"I...think...it would be very...difficult...to keep myself...under control."
Oooooh, God that's tempting!
But did I really want to do that to her? Here truly was a moment where I could take advantage of her. Yes, I knew her feelings, but how would this be taking it slow? I couldn't justify it by saying it started with an innocent kiss. I smiled as I found the decision was easier to make than I thought it would be.
But I still have no idea how I got the following words out: "Then, maybe you should go on ahead. I'll follow in a minute or two."
"Oh. Yes. I see what you mean. Th-thank you, Brendon. I'm sure that for you it's -"
"Hard. Yes, yes it is. Very."
"-not easy - Oh. Oh my. I'd better go on. Ahead. Now."
She turned on one heel and walked - rather carefully I thought - towards the cottage. I stood for a moment watching her go. Her backside wiggled so wonderfully, or perhaps I had just noticed it for the first time. After a minute or so I let out the breath I hadn't realized I was holding. I then slapped myself on the face. Then the other side. Like a boxer about to go into the ring, I hopped up and down to loosen myself up.
"Okay, Brendon. That went well. Now go on in and just...go to bed. Tomorrow's a new day. And it's looking up."
* * *
Fluttershy was grateful that no one would see her as she entered her cottage. The instant the front door shut behind her, she ran upstairs to her room and grabbed at the little pink cake. She made a mental note to keep it with her at all times. It was such a sweet relief to feel so much of the tensions inside her relax as Zecora's craft did its work.
She was rather proud of herself. It had taken a seemingly impossible amount of self-control to keep herself sane as her heat got worse and worse. Especially when Brendon asked about kissing her. Kissing her! Sweet Celestia, how did she manage to get past that! Well, at least now she was calm.
She paused in mid thought. She had been getting ready for bed, and she was just in the act of stepping out of her dress when she stopped. She was calm now, wasn't she? He could kiss her now, couldn't he?
Ah, but how to do that since the moment had passed? Should she just wait outside his door and then, like Rarity, flutter her eyelids at him? Should she just say "I'm okay now?" and then pucker up? Or should she just go and kiss him?
"Oooooh. I just don't know."
Perhaps she was just being impatient. The right time would come along again. In the meantime, she did have the memory of his kiss from this morning.
She blushed as she put a hand to her lips. It had been so gentle, and though her eyes had been closed at the time, she had been starting to wake up seconds before. She had stretched and smiled as the sunlight hit her eyelids, and then rolled back over. Then a hand -his hand- had reached over and caressed her cheek. It has seemed so warm, so natural, especially after the night's dream, that she didn't even think it odd. And then she had felt a face move in on her, a brief brush of noses as he found the right angle, and then...
"Ohhh. One is just not enough. "
* * *
Without fanfare, I had dropped off into my bed and drawn the covers over me. I was warm, so I was only in my briefs. The sheets felt nice on my skin and I drifted off to sleep, wondering what tomorrow would bring. I briefly pondered that I had done no packing for the camping trip, but as I had next to nothing anyway, I figured Rarity, or someone, would have things all set for me. With this oddly optimistic thought, I felt the world growing dark.
There was a noise. I sat up, feeling half asleep. Wasn't I in my room? But something was wrong. What was it? The door was open. And then I saw who stood in the doorway.
Fluttershy looked down on me from where she stood. There was a look in her eyes that I had never seen before. Was it eagerness? No. It was more intense than that.
I gulped.
"Fluttershy? Are you sure this is okay?"
"Yes. Yes, Brendon. This is what I want."
Author's Note
And that's where I'll end everything and tell you I'm giving it all up. HA! Not likely. Though I am sorry about the delay. The story continues.
Three things:
1) A huge thanks to all the fans who have contacted me and especially those who are suffering at this time - whether from depression, or life, or Corona - or all of the above. My heart goes out to you. Some of you deserve more specific thanks, but I that will come with the next chapter.
2) Okay, some of you took a side comment I made about "an audio version" and took it WAY too seriously. Now don't get me wrong, I know I have a great reading voice. No foolin.' But the thought of my sultry tones doing the females parts during the...sexy bits. Well, I have no illusions it'd crash any, uh, "joy" you'd get from the clop itself.
3) Finally, I can't draw for crap! No I don't have pics for certain scenes to enhance the moment. Use your imagination. If you want fanfic art, go buy it. I'm poor, and I just want to write.
Sorry to vent. This virus thing has hit me pretty hard stress wise. And though I can't yell at customers at my job, I can write in CAPITAL LETTERS at you wonderful people.
Seriously, though. You guys and gals are a joy. Have a great day!
What do you mean, "friend?"
Author's Note
I guess a mild warning can be given for some clop? I wish I could do an author's note at the bottom as well because I really wanted to say something about [REDACTED DUE TO POTENTIAL SPOILERS. THE AUTHOR WAS HORRIBLY BEATEN IN RESPONSE] but I can only say that I originally intended this and the following chapter to be one piece but this scene demanded an ending before the [STOP SPOILING!] happens in the next one.
Happy reading!
Chapter 19) Tricks...
Lost among the quiet dead
Darkness is my only companion
-Colonizing the Cosmos
____________________________________________
I'm dreaming. I must be.
Fluttershy didn't so much as walk as flow into the room. My eyes were fixed on hers; all else seemed dim by comparison. I sat up in bed, and wondered at how I could feel such a combination of excitement, delight, and fear at the same time. Did she really want this? Wasn't she in heat? Should I refuse her? I hesitated but this seemed different from before, and then suddenly she was standing at the side of my bed. I looked up, my eyes fixed on hers and I just couldn't look away.
Shouldn't I be able to?
Her hand found the back of my head as she leaned down and kissed me. Her lips seemed to be trying to devour mine, and it wasn't long before she tried to part my lips with her tongue. I closed my eyes and let her in, feeling the elation of being desired and pursued - the dream of a lonely man.
It's like it's for the first time.
I felt her weight on me as she pushed me back on the bed and crawled on top of me. Her body was full against mine. Whatever outfit she was wearing slid against my skin, and everything seemed to be making my nerves scream with sensitivity. As our mouths hungrily sought each other, her body writhed against me. I felt the smootness of her legs rubbing against mine, her hands and fingers in my hair, and the precious softness of her breasts pushing into my chest. My own hands explored her backside, caressing her shoulders and then down beneath her dress to her lower back. Her body responded by pressing even more against me.
I knew where this would lead, where it should lead. My body pulsed with a hunger and desire and soon all of my hindrances would cave; I would not be able to hold myself back -
It's wrong.
and she felt so good. To my surprise, I felt a hand exploring downward, making its way from my chest to the top of my briefs. I groaned into her mouth as she teased her fingers over my bulge and slowly stroaked through the thin fabric. It was -
When did she get so experienced?
-all so perfect. It's exactly -
I don't want this.
-what I wanted. I wanted to stay like this forever -
"Please," I gasped in between kisses. She took this as pleading and increased her pace. Feeling myself getting too close for comfort, I got my hands under her and gently pushed her up by a few inches. "No, please. This is too fast."
I saw Fluttershy's eyes gazing back at me with sadness and fear. There was a tense moment of silence, and then she quickly got up and sat next to me on the bed. Blinking as I gazed at her backside, I propped myself on my elbows.
"Am I not good enough?" I could hear sadness in that voice. It struck me so deep, and yet so familiar.
"No no, not at all," I said as I sat up and turned to her. She was hunched up with her hands clasped between her knees. She stared straight down without looking up. "But maybe," I said gently, "Maybe we could take it a little slower. You don't have to push yourself for my sake."
"But don't you care about me? Don't you want me? What's...what's wrong with me?"
She was trying to hold back a sob. It broke my heart to hear her make that sound. And to ask such a question: the Dreaded Question, as I will always see it. "What's wrong with me?" Or worse, being asked "What's wrong with you?" Such a question had held me in terror for over half my life. And now, to hear it from her lips. I started to reach out to her, feeling like the lowest human being for hurting such a beautiful mare.
"No! No, please don't say that! There's nothing wrong with you! I'm so sorry! It's just...I mean..."
Then something I couldn't see changed in the room. My eyes roamed everywhere, trying to figure out what. What happened just now? What had been different before? I looked back over. There she was, hunched over, her auburn hair hanging over her face. She was weeping again. I pulled back. I had always hated when she got like this, and of course at a time like this.
"You're just like the others," she shot at me. Accusation in every word.
"What?! Like who?"
"Like Them! " She turned at spat the word at me. Her once beautiful, pale face was contorted with a seething hatred.
What did I do? Damn it, woman!
"You -you...you don't mean like those family members you told me about-"
"Yes! You're just the same!"
"B-b-but they...they molested you, Kelly! They, I mean, you wouldn't even tell me all they did and now you're saying...I mean..."
"All you want is for me to touch you. It feels just the same as when they did it."
"B-b-but you started this! You started on me. You usually do! How can you -"
"You - Are - Just - Like - Them!"
She was right. Even, at that moment, at eighteen, I knew it had to be true. I mean, why else would she say those things? My first girlfriend. And I abused her. I was a monster.
Just like my dad.
I got up and turned away, my face in my hands. All I could do was mumble to myself in incomprehension.
"No. No. No no no no no nononononono. Please no."
My fingernails dug into my hairline and I raked them down my face, wishing I could draw blood with them. I couldn't hurt myself enough. Where was a knife when I wanted one?
But it's never worth that. Once was enough. Never again.
As I pulled my hands from my face, I looked around. There she was, in a chair, facing me. I knew what she'd say before she said it.
"I told you we could never be together."
"But it has to be you!" I pleaded. "You know me better than anyone. I can't see anyone else who could ever..."
"I'm pregnant."
"Lexi? No. No, Lexi you can't be. But...but..."
"It's his. We learned right before New Year's. We already eloped."
"But..."
But I was never there to hear the news. I heard it second hand. She never told me, herself.
Even as the news sunk in, I knew my pain was all my own doing. Of course it was. I had no right to be angry. If I'd never pursued her this wouldn't have happened. We never even kissed. But I had been so sure it was her. Desperate for someone to just love me.
Another broken heart. Another rejection. So familiar.
I tried to stumble away from this, feeling like I could barely stand anymore. But another face greeted me. Then another. I stood in a ring of people. Surrounded. Hemmed in. All whom I had loved and who had rejected me. All of them, my fault. After all, I was the common denominator.
One figure towered over them all. The first one to reject me. The Great Pain all others were connected to, that all would forever remind me, and point towards. The one who first truly told me I wasn't worth it.
"I had to leave you. That house was no good for me. Being there? It was like holding my hand out, waiting for it to get hit by a hammer. It was the best thing for me. That's why I left."
And small, little me couldn't say anything.
But I was part of that house. And you didn't try to take me with you. What's wrong with me? Why couldn't I keep you from leaving? Why am i not lovable? What could I have done better?
WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?!
-There's always been something wrong with you. Why do you think he hurt you so much and then said it was the best thing? Ripped your family apart and turned from everything he ever taught you? Because you weren't worth keeping. No one could love you.
No. Not again. No. No. This isn't real.
-You'll screw it up again. Let them down. Sabotage yourself. You're never good enough.
Why? What did I do wrong? What can I do to fix this?
-Give up. Die. End it all. Then all the pain will be gone. No more rejection. Everyone will be happier.
No. Please. Why are you doing this to me?
-You're too broken. Too needy. Too weak. Too perverted. Too dependent on others. Too -
"This - isn't - real!"
My scream echoed everywhere. Then, like a light being blown out, everything vanished. All sound ceased. Darkness was everywhere. And I was not alone.
A feeling crept up on me that Something was right behind me. I just knew It was absolutely horrible to look at. If I turned, I would die; ripped to pieces. But the palpable fear of It, like the pulse of a living Thing, grew and grew. Terror laid hold of me and I quailed inside. This Thing would kill me, and It was slowly getting closer. It was right there. It would have me. My only escape was to die before it took me. Give up. Let go. Yes. That was it.
Give up.
Go limp.
Nothing was worth fighting for.
I knew what I was.
I knew I was scum.
Nothing.
I could become nothing.
Yes.
-Just Don't Think About It. There is so much wrong with you.
My eyes opened. I was no longer blind.
You overplayed your hand.
Not sure where I was or what I was doing, I swung my right arm around in an arc behind me. The back of my open hand caught something and I felt it fall away with a grunt.
A female grunt.
I spun around, all fear of the abomination was gone. And there she was. A mare, somehow very familiar. But this one's color was no midnight blue; this was black as obsidian. Light did not simply fall into her, it disappeared without the chance to scream. A helm was on her forehead, and her eyes held a power and a terror in them. Those eyes also looked at me in fear.
As my mind came back to some form of sanity, I tried to make sense of what, or who, I was seeing. This was a dream, and she was in here with me. It couldn't be...
"Luna?"
She shook her head violently.
"I didn't want to! He's making me do this! Please, help me! He'll be in control again -"
-Do not try to act innocent. We both know there's nothing innocent about the Darkness inside you.
The Voice seemed to come from within her, and it was not her. But I knew that voice, though never that strong.
"How? How are you doing this? Why -?"
-Shut up, Child! We've wasted enough time with your delicious pain. Come, my little Nightmare. This isn't over.
Luna's body jerked upwards. Not like a person standing up, but like a doll dragged up by a puppeteer's strings. Her pleading eyes looked at me in desperation.
"I'm sorry," she said, "It's all my fault! Get my sister! Tell her what's happened! We can't let him spread -"
Her mouth forced itself shut as her whole body went rigid. In the darkness, two great eyes appeared. They were terrible in every way I could imagine. They stared through me, belittling me with their pride and the truth of my insignificance.
-See you later, child. Remember, it's only a dream.
Laughter rang in my ears as I sat up in bed, drenched in sweat. For a long time I sat that, my head in my hands, thinking carefully over everything that I'd just dreamt. That...Thing had shown me every major ex-girlfriend I'd ever had, each breakup feeling like a miniature divorce in itself. There were other faces, even bullies from school. And my father. The Thing was trying to drag out some of my worst pains, things I had thought I had dealt with before, but here I had no defenses to counteract them. And how did Luna fit into all of this?
And there was something important I was supposed to do. Something urgent.
What about Fluttershy? Coming off of the unreality of the dream, my mind had to fight off the idea that it had really been Fluttershy. It had been so traumatizing, the thought of hurting her. The thought that I would turn her into one more of my broken relationships was so painful, at that moment, I had to hold back tears. I felt so close to letting her in and grasping onto a Good that I knew was right around the corner. But what if it turned into more pain?
"No. No. It lied. Don't start believing It now."
That helped: saying it out loud with no voice to counteract it. Somehow it made the statement more concrete. I still felt exhausted but I was weary of going to sleep again. I lay on my side, looking at the starlight and moonlight coming in through the window. Small nightly noises filtered in, and I smiled in spite of it all for it still brought back happy memories of a world I'd never see again. I felt an infinite gulf between myself and all people. I began to wonder if another fearful Thing was just around the corner. But this was something I knew I shouldn't fear, and in fact needed. It's name was Vulnerability. Perhaps with it sat its sister, Intimacy.
God, I needed to sleep!
But I still don't want to go to bed. Not alone.
After what seemed like an hour of lying awake, a soft knock made me sit straight up. For a second I stared at the door, then quickly pinched myself hard to make sure I wasn't dreaming. Nope. That hurt pretty good.
"Ummm, Brendon?" came the soft voice of Fluttershy. "Can I, um, come in? That is, if it's okay with you?"
Well that had a lot less confidence than the previous Fluttershy. it's probably her.
I got up unsteadily and slowly opened the door. There stood Fluttershy in her nightgown, ears back, rubbing her eyes, and looking as tired as I felt. For some reason the word helpless came to mind, but I instantly chastised myself for it.
She's probably stronger than me.
"What's wrong, Fluttershy?"
She looked at me in a way that told me she barely saw me.
"I can't sleep. Bad dreams. Could...could you keep me company? Please?"
Her tone of voice set all my cuteness buzzers ringing. She sounded like a little filly asking for a cuddle. To refuse that request felt like breaking some kind of 11th Commandment: "Thou Shalt Not Deny The Cuteness!"
What is it about tired females that makes them sound So adorable?
"Of course, Fluttershy! Of course! Here, give me your arm."
She leaned into me as I guided her to the bed, where I saw my dilemma. This looked like a twin size bed. No way to keep away from her. But I could sleep on the floor. I helped her lay down and drew the covers over her. I turned to walk away when she caught my hand. Her face peaked out between the sheets.
"Please. Don't go."
"It's alright," I said as I patted her hand. "I'll be right here on the floor."
"No. Could you please just...hold me?"
My face became warm. I wondered how to give her a gentle no?
"S-s-sure."
Damn it!
Her face instantly relaxed as she let go of my hand. I crawled into bed on the other side, whereupon she turned over and snuggled into my arms. The texture of her made me think of a very large stuffed animal, but not so squishy Don't think about squishy things! . Also she was warm and there was the strange pleasure of feeling her body rise and fall as she breathed in and out. My arms came around her instinctively, and I looked down at her smiling face as she gave a soft, contented sigh.
"Thank you."
"You are most welcome, Fluttershy."
I had almost said "my Fluttershy." It had been on the tip of my tongue.
It took very little time for her breathing to change and I knew she was asleep. I, however, was not. I kept staring at her sleeping face, grateful to all powers that be that this mare was in my life. Some strands of her mane had fallen in front of her face and I smoothed them back. This felt so natural that I began running my fingers through her mane, reveling in the softness and the intimacy of the action. I heard Fluttershy give a kind of soft hum in her sleep, which caused me to smile warmly at her. It felt good to give something to her for a change, even if it was simple comfort. As I brought my hand down the length of her mane once again and returned to the top of her head, my fingers lingered on her face. It seemed impossible not to touch those wondrous features. I stroked her cheek with the tips of my fingers. Her eyelids fluttered rapidly, which I took as a sign she was dreaming. It must have been a good dream, as her lips curled in a gentle smile. Then I felt her legs move under the sheets as they entwined themselves with mine. One leg pushed in between my own and I was enthralled with the feel of her soft fur against my bare legs. My face became very warm. I had taken for granted in my earlier stupor that I was in nothing but my briefs while Fluttershy was in her almost transparent nightgown. The dim lighting made this impossible to see, but the fact that only a little fabric separated our naked bodies set off a part of me. It was then that I realized I had slowly been inching my face closer to hers. I leaned in and kissed her forehead and held her against me so that my chin was over the top of her head. I was shivering at the feeling of holding myself back. My body wanted to wrap her up and feel every inch of her. I wanted to embrace her and hold her close, kissing those soft lips until I fell asleep. No previous inhibitions mattered. She was right here and my body screamed at me to just give in.
But I can't just do it while she's asleep. Our first kiss can't be like this.
It was then I felt Fluttershy raise her neck a little. I moved back and looked down. She was blinking and smiling up at me and her smile spread from ear to ear.
"Brendon?" she said, her voice so gentle it was hard for me to tell if she was really awake.
"Yes?"
"Remember the last thing you asked me last night?"
Yep. She's awake alright.
I swallowed in a suddenly dry throat.
"Yes, I remember."
"I'd like to know the answer to that question, too."
"You - you mean...?"
"Yes, Brendon. Please."
My brain searched its inner library for a suave phrase to say in this seemingly perfect moment.
It failed.
"Well, okay then."
Her hand found the back of my head as we looked into each other's eyes, searching for a glimpse of the same feeling that beat within our hearts. We both smiled at what we saw in those eyes. Then that short distance between us was finally crossed, and our lips met.
It was gentle, it was soft, it was a little clumsy, it was breathtaking, it was impossibly long yet far too short, and it was somehow perfect. It was a true first kiss. Fluttershy was trembling slightly as little whimpers crept out every now and then. Or maybe it was I that trembled? All I know is that when we broke, her smile had never been so happy nor her eyes shining so bright. There was a pause filled with silent delight. I felt the need to say something to commemorate the occasion, using whatever brain power I had left.
"Oooooooooh my ."
Fluttershy giggled.
"Isn't that usually my line?"
We broke out in a tired yet joyous laughter.
"Well," I said as I wiped a tear from my eye, "It was just so, uh -"
"Yes it was."
"-and, well I was hoping -"
"We could do it again?"
I nodded with a chuckle and we embraced. Fluttershy's lack of experience was obvious, but it made it all so much sweeter. Where I would have wanted to rush, I was forced to take my time. And though I wanted to part those lips with my tongue, I knew the moment would come soon. But that night was one I looked back on with fondness. Its kind of innocence and simple happiness were a wonder. Whatever words we whispered to each other I'll never remember, even as they filled me with confidence and strength. I was just lost in her smiling face, the texture of her body, the softness of her mane, the thrill of having her in my arms, and the living dream of kissing those lips.
Eventually we were so tired we could barely peck each other on the nose. Soon we just held each other, and I'll never know if I thought or said an immense "Thank you" to the heavens before I finally slept.
* * *
Fluttershy smiled to herself. It seemed like it had taken her all night for her to think of something. But it had worked. It had been true enough that she couldn't sleep at the time, but as for the rest...well, it has worked far better than she'd hoped. All she had wanted was a cuddle.
"I'm such a bad pony," she whispered as she snuggled deeper in Brendon's arms. The softest giggle escaped and it wasn't long after that pony and human slept in peaceful comfort.
What do you mean, "friend?"
Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter. What do you mean, "friend?"
"Ecstasy was right in the palm of my hand and I threw it away! Or I guess, it was in the palm of her hand."
I was angry with myself at how I had handled things with Fluttershy or, rather, Flutterbat. At that moment, I was just nabbing my tattered pants from the top of a wooden china display case. "Well, there's no saving these," I sighed. "Now I know my underwear is somewhere over - "
"WHAT happened in here ?!"
Like a victim in a bad horror film, I slowly turned my head towards what I knew was my imminent doom. There stood Rainbow Dash, her tense and angry figure framed in the doorway. My brain did a quick mental assessment of the room: pictures hung askew, pillows and cushions scattered everywhere, the couch flung over on its back, a semi-strange creature who was naked from the waist down holding a tattered piece of clothing, and all of this in the midst of the home of possibly the most quiet, gentle, and innocent mare in all of Ponyville. Trouble was forth coming, and in every color of the rainbow.
I raised one finger and took a deep breath to give a "perfectly reasonable" explanation when I found myself slammed against a wall and staring into large, angry, and yet somehow slightly adorable eyes. Rainbow had nabbed my wrists and pinned them above my head. It suddenly became rather hot in that room.
Rainbow repeated again: "What - Happened - In - Here?"
The truth may not actually help here. How do I explain this?
"Well..."
"Where is Fluttershy?"
Oh, well that one is easy.
"She's not here."
"What?"
"She just left."
"What did you do to her?"
Got her so riled up that she lost her mind?
"Ummmm ... nothing really."
"Then why did she leave? Were you taking advantage of her?"
"No! I swear!"
Other way around. Kind of.
"Oh, come on ! You're practically naked, the room is a mess, and next you'll probably want me to believe that this -" (here she let go of one of my hands, snatched my pants, and held them in front of my face) "-isn't something you tore off of one of my best friends !"
I slowly lowered my free hand and pointed. "Actually, those are my pants."
Rainbow blinked. "What?"
"Yeah, and, uh, I don't know how to tell you this... but she ripped them off of me ."
She tilted her head to one side. "Fluttershy did this?"
"Yep."
She looked at the pants, then back at me. "FLUTT ershy?"
"Mmm hmm."
Rainbow laughed right in my face. I decided to wait until she finished. It was a decent wait. In the meantime I wiped spittle off my face with my free hand. She was guffawing.
"Oh man," she said, wiping a tear from her eye. "That was a good one. How do you expect me to believe that ?"
"It's a long story."
Rainbow repinned my free hand above me and leaned in close. "Try me."
"Okay, so Fluttershy turned into some kind of bat-pony thing from some - oh what was it called? - poison joke flower and Rarity tricked me into putting on a ton of apple soaked cologne as a semi-revenge which set Fluttershy off something fierce because, I'm guessing, she has some weird craving for apples when she's a bat, maybe? So then she kind of ... came at me, but when I tried to get her to stop she panicked and shot right out of here, which knocked over the couch and me with it.
"And I guess that wasn't nearly as long a story as I thought."
Rainbow sniffed. "Well, that explains a few things. I guess."
"Hey, if you doubt me, just ask Fluttershy, herself. Or even Rarity, I guess."
She squinted at for a few seconds. I grimaced back at her, the sweat dripping down my face. Finally she relented and stepped back a few steps. I breathed a sigh of relief and leaned my back against the wall. Using my pants, I wiped the sweat from my forehead. It was then I noticed Rainbow Dash was eyeing me up and down. She seemed poised as if she was judging my outfit and it wasn't quite right. My hands flew to my crotch as I realized I didn't really have an outfit on. She chuckled.
"You know, it's kinda funny."
"Wh-what is?" I said, feeling my face start to burn.
"From what Rarity said, I expected you to be bigger."
"H-hey! Stop looking!" I said, inching my way towards the stairs.
"Heh, there's not much to look at, baldy. You know, you've turned down two desperate mares in, like, two days. What, are you into stallions? Man, I really had nothing to worry about at all!"
I don't know what possessed me but, like the idiot I am, I had to defend myself.
"That's not it at all! I didn't like Rarity like that, and with Fluttershy ... well ... her teeth were sharp. And as for you , well, you don't exactly do it for me!"
"Oh really ? Is that a challenge?" She suddenly dropped her arms to her side and her face adopted an entirely different look. It was a predator's as it eyed its prey, with a smile that filled me with dread and ... something else. She pulled her legs together and stood up straight, showing off her slim, athletic figure. Her hands stretched up above her head, and then slid down her body, showing off every curve of her elf-like form. Even as she took her first step towards me her movements were fluid and purposeful. Like a dancer she flowed across the short distance to me. Once again I was backed against a wall with Rainbow facing me, except this time it was her intent that seemed to push me back.
I held my tattered pants in front of my crotch like some kind of impotent shield. Meanwhile my mind raced from thoughts of running away, a rising anger I tried to suppress, and a desire to stay and watch. I had to admit to myself that she had grace and poise; the athletic and confident way she held her body also spoke of one who knew her body and how to use it.
Rainbow's mouth spoke with no words. Her smile said that she had already won and she knew it. I gritted my teeth and glared defiance back at her, but she pressed herself against me and I gasped at the feel of her. The feel of muscle beneath her soft coat was clear, and the smoothness of her body pulled at the corners of my mind. Every little movement of her caused her well toned muscles to ripple and the feel against my skin was incredible. I hated it even as I liked it.
"You really think you got what it takes to say no to me ? Do you have any idea what I can do to you?"
One hand grabbed the top of my head and held me against the wall with iron strength.
"Do you have any idea what I can do for you?"
Effortlessly, she extended one leg all the way up and curled her knee around my shoulder. I shuddered at the muscle I felt there, but also trembled at the thought of how flexible she was ... and all that it implied. I felt my cock rising, practically against my will, and bump the underside of her tight, spandex shorts. The softness I felt there caused me to shut my eyes as I tried to shut out what was happening, not knowing how to make it all stop, despising the part of me that wanted it to continue.
That second dragged on for what felt like forever. Then all at once, every part of her was taken away. A burst of laughter ripped through the air. I cracked open one eye. Rainbow was doubled over.
"Ha ha ha ha! Oh my Celestia you shoulda seen your face !" She slapped her leg and then held her stomach as she let out fits of laughter. "Did you really think... pffft! Ha ha ha ha! Oh my gosh that's good!"
I stood there, shocked and humiliated. Then a rising anger crept up and before I knew it, I was shouting.
"Why did you come here?! Just to laugh at me?!"
She stood up, still giggling. "Heh, oh no, I was sent to get you for an emergency meeting with Celestia. But then when I saw everything well, I guess I got a bit distracted, hee hee."
"Distracted? Distracted?! " I got right in her face. "Is that what you call that? What is wrong with you? Get out!"
"Whose gonna make me?" She stood up and tried to stare me down, nose to nose. I had had more than enough.
With both hands I reached out to shove her but quick as lighting her hands connected with mine, entangling our fingers and pushed back. A quick contest strength ensued, with neither side giving way. Rainbow grinned. I wanted that grin gone.
An old feeling grew inside of me. Something I had tried hard to keep down. Fury. I shut my eyes and made one last effort.
There was a surprised shout, a heavy impact, and when I opened my eyes Rainbow Dash was across the room, lying in the door way. A look of shock and fear was etched on her features. As soon as I saw it, I knew it would haunt me.
"Tell everyone you gave me the message! Now get the hell out of our home!"
I strode over to where I had spied my underwear, snatched them up, and marched upstairs with what dignity I had left.
* * *
As she lay panting on the floor, Rainbow Dash couldn't believe it! She'd lost ! And to a stupid, bald colt! He had actually scared her. That look on his face! Without thinking, she reached up to scratch her eye, and never saw the small shadow that streamed down her cheek, across the floor, and darted out the door.
A sudden guilt struck her. Why had she done that? What had she been thinking ? Even when she was in heat, she never acted that sadistic. And the poor colt didn't do anything wrong . There's no crime about standing bare-assed in someone else's home. At least, if you're invited.
Something else impressed itself upon her mind. He said to get out of "our home." What did he mean by "our?"
* * *
I stamped upstairs. What the hell was wrong with Rainbow? I couldn't believe she messed with me on such a personal and sexual level. Even the way she insulted me! No wonder I lost it! And how long had it been since I'd done that? The thought brought up terrible feelings from the past. I tried to shake them off, and came back to the present.
"What the fuck? I mean, I thought I had some of these ponies figured out. I mean, I know she's loyal to her friends, and she thought she was protecting Fluttershy for a moment there but... what about the rest of that? And at least let a man go and put some fucking pants and not humiliate - rrrrgh! And then she ... damn that cunt of a mare!"
Barely breaking stride, I stormed into my room, swept up my other pants, and threw them on while hopping to the bathroom. I had just zipped up and was about to splash some water on my face when I glanced in the mirror.
"Oh Goddamn it..."
"How's it going, ladies' man!"
"Oh shut u- wait. Was that a compliment?"
"Damn skippy!" my blue clone squealed in his strange intonations. "First Rarity, then Fluttershy, now it's Rainbow Dash!"
I threw up my arms and sighed. "I know! Right? What the hell? And now when I'm finally with Fluttershy it all still blows up in my face!"
"Heh, you mean you wish it blew up in her face."
I shook a finger at him. "Okay, I'll give you that one."
"You mean you'll give her -"
"Quit while you're ahead."
Blue paused and then snapped his fingers at me. "No, that next joke is too easy."
"Oh God, what do I have to do to make you go away!"
"What?" he said, throwing his hand over his chest like an actor hamming up a drama. "Isn't this what you've always wanted? You'll never be alone again!"
"No. No, I can definitely think of people I'd rather spend the rest of my life with than you."
"You mean like your harem of ponies?"
"Oh no!" I shouted. I began to pace, not sure if I was talking to Blue, myself, or the world in general. I was pissed. "No no, don't you dare accuse me of that bullshit! Maybe it's every man's dream to be wanted by multiple women, and Lord knows I used to think like that, but I only want one female in my life. When it comes down to it, it's flattering, and maybe part of me wants to be wanted that much, but it's not how I'm made. No harems, no casual sex. I never just wanted sex anyway. I mean, yeah I really want it but ... I want it to mean something."
I looked away. This subject was hitting me rather deep, and the words just started to pour out of me. It didn't occur to me at the time to notice that my doppelganger never interrupted me.
"I know that I'd get too deeply attached to anyone I'd have sex with, probably even with a prostitute. And ... and I've held onto this virginity for so long. I mean, yeah at the beginning I didn't have a choice. When no one wants you, you're kind of limited. And then ... I just had it so long, so it actually became valuable to me. It's stupid I know. But I'm not having other ponies. No, I just want Fluttershy. That's it. I'm not playing around here. "
Blue just stared at me. His smile seemed almost serious. "Wow. Look at you. Speaking truth. Speaking deep."
"Huh?"
"You didn't hide behind some excuse or some fear. You just admitted to it all."
"Well ... no, I guess I didn't hide. I mean, I've never really believed I was worthy of being happy. But ... damn it, I won't be bullied. Not by anyone, and not by you! Your crap gets more ridiculous the more you make fun of me!"
"Oh, you figured it out then?"
"What?"
"Oh come on, you ginger headed, pale-ass, pony-loving, pansy! So you really believe every bad thing in your life - hell even here! - is all your fault? "
"Well when you put it like that... "
"And is your shit the only stuff that's unforgivable?"
"Uh, I mean -"
"Because if you believe it, I'll keep hounding you with it!"
I stopped, mouth agape. I stayed like that a long time. After some gears had cranked away in my cranium for a while, I spoke slowly.
"Have I really been just talking to myself?"
"Probably. Why do you think it's so easy to open up right now? I'm just a part of you."
"Makes ... sense, I guess. But... is that why you're here?"
"I'm here because a horny pony threw a flower at your face."
"Ah. Right."
"And I only speak what you feed me. Keep that in mind, okay kid?"
"Said the two-day old clone!"
"Not bad, buuuuut you better get a move on."
"Huh? Oh yeah, Celestia! The... the thing!"
Blue waved his hands at me. "Shoo! Shoo! You stink of apples!"
"Yeah, yeah..." I walked out and started jogging toward town. Perhaps it'd be easier if I had asked Rainbow to wait for me and bring me over, but I didn't want to ever touch her again. Or any other pony at that moment.
"Well, okay, maybe one certain pony."
I couldn't help but smile.
* * *
Rarity had never seen Fluttershy like this before! Well, as a bat pony, yes perhaps, but she was so jittery and nervous and anxious. Okay, maybe that was also familiar, but never over a stallion . The poor thing was hopping from hoof to hoof waiting for Rarity to skim through this... unique reading material.
Moments ago, Rarity had just returned from Sugarcube Corner, after explaining the seriousness of the situation to Pinkie. She had only come in to powder her nose a bit and check her hair (a proper mare must look her best in front of royalty), when Fluttershy had positively crashed into her boutique, and gave a ten minute explanation in the span of ten seconds as she demanded Rarity help her.
So Rarity was hurriedly scanning the pages Fluttershy had laid open before her. It was not easy concentrating; knowing the immediacy of the upcoming meeting, the fact Fluttershy was practically right over her shoulder, and not even mentioning the content of the painstakingly detailed notes on those pages - all made it incredibly distracting. Rarity cocked her head to one side to make sense of a hand drawn illustration.
"Oooo," she cooed. "I've never imagined such a ... position before. Do humans really do these kinds of things? They must be oddly imaginative, I should think. The way she's wrapped his handsome member between her -"
"I know! I know!" squeaked Fluttershy, her hands clenched under her chin in frustration. "But look on this page! It's about some human fashions."
"Hmmm," Rarity said as she rubbed her chin in contemplation. "Different sections for each one. 'Casual,' 'business,' 'seductive-' oh my word ! Who would have thought... and what is this about the amount of 'bounce' a mare is supposed to have? It must be referring to her -"
"Yes! Yes! Can you help me with that?"
Rarity took off her glasses and turned to Fluttershy with a serious look. "My dear Fluttershy! I may be one of the greatest fashionistas in all of Equestria - which I state with magnificent humility - but even I need time to prepare! We still have to see what it is Princess Celestia needs us for and there are more important things than satisfying your ... rather intense urges, dear."
"Hooooooh, I know. But I just have to make it up to him! You don't know what it's like, I -"
Rarity draped an arm around her friend as she steered her towards the door.
"Tut tut, my dear. One thing at a time. I'll fill you in on what's going on and then you can tell me all the juicy details of your escapades with Brendon on the way to the library. And spare nothing , please. Anything you can tell me may be of paramount importance."
* * *
As I navigated the streets of Ponyville, it gave me a good feeling as I found myself a little bit more familiar with the streets. Yes, I had made a few wrong turns, but a lot less than I had the day before. Slowly this might becoming a home. A smile began to form on my face, though it was tinged with a little melancholy. A new home. My old one was gone, gone forever. All because I had followed a purple unicorn with wings, or alicorn, whatever she was.
This train of thought suddenly jumped the tracks and hit me in the face as I opened the door to the library. There she was: Twilight Sparkle! If ever there was the picture of the eternal student, it was her. Hindsight sees so much clearer, but it's wonder I did not see, even then, the dedication she had to learning and living up as a pupil to Princess Celestia. The conservative blouse, her dark skirt just below her knees, the glasses, ponytail (ha!) in her mane, book clutched in both hands, and the adoring way she looked up at the tall, white princess beside her practically screamed "This is my teacher and I am going to earn that A+!"
As soon as her eyes met mine, I could see her desire to crawl inside herself and hide. I didn't blame her. I represented a hidden obsession of hers that had followed her home; something she had tried to keep secret that had been forcibly brought into the light. I had tried to figure out, in passing, why she had wanted to visit the human world so much? What had driven her to keep coming back to the point where it almost killed her? But I understood guilt all too well, and I decided I'd better give the blushing purple pony some space.
Everyone else was there, as well. Applejack tipped her Stetson to me, Pinkie Pie's hand was a blur as she waved, Fluttershy smiled demurely (with a fang still sticking out) as she wiggled her fingers in my direction, Rarity smirked at me beside her, Spike gave me a little casual salute, and Rainbow leaned against a wall. If she acknowledged me, I didn't notice. I refused to look her in the eye. I pulled up a chair and sat down, and when I finally raised my eyes to meet Celestia's she nodded with a smile of affection and gestured towards everyone else.
"Ah, Brendon, I'm so glad you could join us. I wish I didn't have to call upon you to aid in such a dire matter. If Equestria itself were not at stake, I should have preferred to let you rest and continue getting to know my wonderful little ponies. But it seems you are needed to help save them from what has already taken hold of my dear sister."
Shock registered from everyone except Spike, Rarity, Twilight and myself. There was a brief pause, and then several voices spoke up at once.
"What in tarnation has happened to Princess Luna?" said Applejack.
"Is she going to be okay?" squealed Pinkie Pie.
"Oooooh," moaned Fluttershy softly, "I do hope we can help."
"Calm down, please," said Celestia, her voice still serene and soothing. "I am confident that the Elements of Harmony will be more than enough for this. However, since this is does involve Luna, I am particularly worried for her safety. Not to mention the fact that you may have to come up against her once again."
"What?!" cried several voices.
"Don't worry, everyone!" chimed in Twilight. "Even with the limited information we have, Celestia has a plan and I agree with it."
"But... where do I fit in to this?" I said. "I can't do anything. You ponies, you're the heroes of this place. I'm just an outsider."
Celestia walked over to me and laid a hand on my shoulder. Comfort seemed to flow forth from it, and something else. My mind seemed to tingle and I didn't know why, but I felt like everything hinged on the next words out of her mouth.
"It will be alright, Brendon. The plan should be familiar to you, as my sister told you something about it, didn't she?"
Suddenly I couldn't move. Every muscle froze.
"What? When?"
"You'll remember," she said, tenderly patting my arm as she turned to the rest of the ponies. The pat left behind a tingling feeling that slowly traveled to my shoulder and from there to my head. "But for everyone else, I will let you know where I intend to send you."
Her next words never reached my ears. Every sound was nothing but a droning in the background. Images were cascading through my head. Meeting Luna in my mind. The images of my life. The quest. A mirror? And then...
The forest. Oh yes, the forest. The journey of a boy and a filly through something so beautiful and touching that I was overwhelmed with a mix of beauty, delight, and wonder that I felt it should pour out of my head in overflowing. The wild scamper of childhood, the dance of love's first steps, and the passionate power of deep intimacy. Every moment replayed itself for me, and when it was over I seemed to come back to myself.
When my eyes could see again, my head had been bowed down. My vision was blurry and I saw it was because my tears would not stop falling. I reached up and felt that I must have been crying silently for a while. And yet there was a smile upon my face so powerful it felt almost foreign. Quickly I wiped my face and glanced around. It seemed as though no one else had noticed, their attention was entirely fixed on Celestia. Whatever she had been saying, she was just finishing.
Great, I still managed to fall asleep during class and fail to take notes. Worth it, though.
"But, what is it?" asked Applejack.
"Unfortunately, we are not sure," Celestia replied. "I have a guess that it is some kind of parasite, and I believe it began influencing my sister in subtle ways before I lost all contact with her. And then, Brendon was attacked."
She turned to me. "Is there anything you can tell us about it?"
Feeling all eyes upon me, I stared at the floor, trying to think of the best answer. What was the Thing in my dreams? I scrunched up my forehead in thought.
"It... knew me. Very well. I mean it showed me things from deep inside and hurt me in a very personal way. I'm not sure how to describe it." I shuddered. "It was horrible. I'd never wish that Thing on my worst enemy. It spoke with many voices and took on other faces. People I knew. And it ... wanted me. Wanted me completely under its power."
"Gosh," whispered Pinkie Pie. "That sounds scary."
"Is there anything else you'd like to say?" asked Celestia.
I looked at her. I didn't want to say what I was thinking.
And it spoke with my voice. Those were my eyes that looked down on me. It feels like my depression, but so much worse; like it's alive and getting stronger. And I think it's all my fault this is happening, because I brought it here. I must have.
But all I said was: "Nothing right now."
Celestia nodded but I couldn't help but glance over at Applejack. She was giving me an odd look.
Damn you, conscience. Damn you, Honesty
As I quickly looked away, Twilight stepped forward with a list in her hand. She said we had to be underway as soon as we could. She would bring the elements of harmony, we each had to bring certain things of our own. and since we had planned a camping trip there wasn't anything really to add to what we were going to bring originally. My mind was not focused at all on what she was talking about, and once again went over in my head what I knew about this dark Thing that was at large in this innocent world. If it was at all like my depression, and getting into ponies' heads, then - but just then something Twilight was saying caught my attention.
"...and as for Fluttershy and our new travel companion, we need to get you 'unjoked.'" A little laughter made its way around the room. Fluttershy and I smiled sheepishly.
"Yeah, I would love to know the cure," I said. Then I eyed Rarity. "The real cure."
"Oh tell me you didn't just love it," said Rarity with a grin.
Twilight's surprised eyes went back and forth between us. "What are you guys talking about?"
"Nothing!" we chimed in unison.
"Oooookaaaaay, anyway a special bath is being prepared at the Ponyville Day Spa as we speak, and should be ready in about an hour or so. Make sure that the two of you are there! We'll be leaving right after you're out."
"Absolutely," I said.
"An-n-n hour?" said Fluttershy. Her ears had perked up and she kept glancing between myself and Twilight.
"About that time, sure," said Twilight. "Oh! That may not be nearly enough time for you two to get ready. You should probably leave right now."
"Oh! Yes! Time to get ready, yes! Exactly!" Fluttershy darted over to me, grabbed my hand, and practically dragged me through the door, calling over her shoulder, "We'll see everypony soon!"
"Um, yeah!" I called out awkwardly as we almost ran out the door.
Once we had walked a few blocks, I had to say something. "Okay, what's going on?" Fluttershy stopped, looked back at me with her ears flat against her head, and then hauled me into a nearby alley. Almost immediately, she pressed herself against me, and I could feel her writhing under her dress. She was biting her lip, breathing heavily, and looking extremely anxious.
"Ooooh, I'm no good at this," she said. "As soon as Twilight said that we would be ... cured of how we are, I realized that I, um, didn't want to change back just yet."
"What? Why?" But even as the words left my mouth, I had an idea.
"Well, oh, um, it's the way that I'm feeling right now. I'm so ... pent up inside and I just want to ... spend time with you." Then she leaned in, closed her eyes, and inhaled deeply. She shuddered for a moment and pressed her forehead to mine, staring right into my eyes. "Can I do that? Please?"
I felt myself getting hard at just the sight before me, not to mention the thought of what "spending time with you" really meant. Unsure of whether she could already feel my erection, I simply smiled in what I hoped was not a grimace.
"Yeah," I said. "Sure."
Before I knew what was happening, I found myself gripped under my shoulders and my knees and rocketing through the air. Fluttershy was holding me as though I was the bride about to be carried over the threshold. It was rather humbling, but as my head was pressed against her chest, I was not one to complain. As well as feeling the wonderful softness I had longed to be near, I could also hear her heart beating very fast. My own would soon be tuned to a similar swift rhythm.
As soon as we landed, I made sure to take her arm first and lead her in. I may not have been the stronger in that heated moment, but I knew I could still save a little face, even if only in my own eyes.
Whatever gets me to sleep at night. Then again, falling asleep tonight might be very easy.
Fluttershy's musk had been around me since the moment we ducked into the alley, and its effect on my body only increased from there. By the time we were going up the stairs, her feet making a wonderful *CLIP CLOP* on the wood, nearly every urge in my body was to touch and kiss that yellow pony to my heart's content. Her breathing was even heavier than before as I led her up to her bedroom, shut the door behind her, and then we embraced.
We moaned into each other's mouths. Our arms seemed to be unable to touch enough of each other. Fluttershy's hands gripped my back and ran over my shoulders, my waist, my hair, and grazed my buttocks. Mine went through her mane, I traced along a wing, ran a hand over her wonderful hind quarters, and finally I ran my fingers through her tail again and again. Everything was happening all at once, and it seemed every touch brought a new sound from her.
Every inch of her was a wonder to me. The feel of her muscles flexing, the softness, the strange newness of her coat, and the occasional grazing against a leathery wing: all were amazing to the touch of my fingers. Part of me wanted to take my time, but there was an urgency - both in the limited time and in the need that her musk had driven into me. My mind and body warred over spending time on one part or simply touching everything. However, it did seem that Fluttershy let out a new sound at every place my fingers went.
I must be doing something right. Or she's just extremely sensitive.
Finally, Fluttershy broke the kiss. She had a huge smile on her face and seemed out of breath. Her gaze was slightly dazed, and every tone of her voice told me she was fighting for control over her body's cravings. Her eyes and expression through all of this gave me a mixture of pride, allure, and nervous excitement.
"What," she gasped, "What was that kiss you tried to give me before?"
"You mean with the tongue?" I inquired. "We call it a French kiss where I come from."
"Ooh. I'd love to try that again." There was a pause. "But how do I not ... bite you?"
Something about the way you say "bite" makes me really want you to.
"Uh, I actually thought of that. Why don't you stick your tongue in my mouth?"
"Is that what you do?"
"Oh yeah, it's ... uh ... it's great."
"O-okay, here goes."
We kissed again, and at first Fluttershy slowly explored with her tongue. I felt her touch my lips, the tip of her soft muscle probing around the outside and inside as she tried out this new technique. Soon we went a little further as she touched my teeth. She spent a good amount of time on them, which I assumed was due to how different they were from her own. After all, I had my own set of semi-sharp teeth. I let her have her own way, surprised by how much larger her tongue was by comparison. Finally, I decided to push back with my own, and I felt her twitch at the sensation. She whimpered for a moment, and then began to respond with a deep moan. Keeping my tongue inside my mouth, I still felt such wonderful sensations from these kisses. I just drank in the pleasure of feeling Fluttershy as she began to kiss back with more and more confidence, or was it that her heat was overwhelming her inhibitions? I had my answer a moment later when I felt her take tight handfuls of my shirt as she moaned and writhed against me, her kisses now getting very insistent.
It seemed we had both hit the limit of where we could go. Normally I would have been content to stay like that, but most of my inhibitions were being overwhelmed in a perfume more heady than a heavy drink. And if that was how I was feeling, what was she going through? The war that must have raged between her own fears and politeness versus the burning of her instincts and the delight of the tantalizing Newness of it all. It would only be in hindsight that I was able to understand why she didn't push to go further than she did.
Her hands went to the hem of my shirt and delved under it to reach my skin. Her soft, fuzzy fingers were so different I squirmed a little under them, trying not to feel tickled. Fluttershy pulled her mouth from mine to look at me with blushing boldness and, I noted, some fierceness. "Can I, oh, can I touch you?"
My smile beamed down at her. "Of course, Fluttershy."
Her own smile was one of almost childlike glee before she came forward for another embrace. Her hands now reached up and felt my bare skin, her palms moving across my back like she was exploring a new country. I briefly wondered how often she had touched a creature with no coat? She traveled north, feeling my shoulders, and finally reaching around to my stomach and chest. Without warning, she broke our kiss and yanked my shirt up over my head. Almost laughing, I raised my hands as she removed it entirely and stood there looking at me. She took a small step forward, her hands trembling as she reached out and caressed my chest.
Soon she leaned her head in and rubbed her face against my chest and my shoulders, her cheek like a painter's brush on my bare skin. Her hand then slowly stroked the line from my scapula to my belly button.
"Oh my, I know you said you had some hair on your chest, but I didn't know it would be like this ... I don't know why, but even though it's a little strange, I like it."
I put my arms around her and held her close, loving the feel of her against me, feeling a bit of the softness of her chest through her dress.
I chuckled at a sudden thought. "You know, a friend of mine back home called this hair 'the naughty trail.' I preferred 'the trail of decadence,' myself."
Fluttershy leaned back and looked up at me. "Why would you call it that?"
"Well, where does it lead?"
Fluttershy tilted her head to one side and then put a hand to my pectorals, where my hair started. Then she slowly moved down the middle of my torso until her hand was at the top of my pants, beneath my belly button. She smiled and looked up at me again, the excitement evident in her face.
"Oh. I see. I really like it. But - " here an eager and hungry look came into her eyes - "I think I should be fair to you."
"What do you -?" My words caught in my throat as Fluttershy reached down and lifted the hem of her skirt and, rather deftly, pulled her dress up and over her head in one graceful movement. She threw it across the room and I drank in all that I saw.
Fluttershy was clad in matching bra and panties, the same blue as her dress. My eyes traveled from the curve of her bare shoulders to her cute waist, traced her long legs which were now laid out in all their grace and glory, and finally up to her bountiful breasts that called out for freedom from her bra. Her body was not what I would have called skinny, but wherever there was fullness of flesh it was in all the right places. No overhanging fat was evident anywhere, yet all spoke of a softness that would sink beneath the fingers, if just enough. I knew there was tone beneath those arms and legs, and I was sure that tummy as well. My fingers must have twitched at the thought, just as another part of me twitched in my loins.
Fluttershy's expression showed that she loved the way I gazed at her, and she bit her bottom lip with a look that said "I can't wait until you get to enjoy all that you see."
I strode over to her, wanting to do all manner of things to her. But I reached up one hand and touched her cheek. Her wings were nearly vibrating , her ears were back, and she looked on the verge of bursting at the seems. Even as I felt something in my underwear was close to doing the same thing. Still I managed to say:
"May I touch you, Fluttershy?"
Her ears immediately sprang forward and her tail swished behind her.
"Y-y-yes. I'd love that."
I reached down and placed my hand on her leg and then ran it up her side, lightly touching her chest as I traced my hand over her shoulder and caressed her neck up to her mane where I scratched ever so gently behind her ears. She practically squeaked as she stood there, waiting for me to finish. I looked in her eyes and then kicked off my shoes, undid my pants, and tried to drop them as smoothly as I could.
We lunged for each other, our mouths crashing together as our bodies met and even more wonderful sensations took hold of us. Her body was perfect under my fingers, and I found myself going right for her smooth, round cheeks. I squeezed them, causing her to be pulled against me. My raging hardon was pressed against her, and we both groaned at the sensation. I suddenly felt how wet she was, as her panties seemed completely soaked. The wetness was seeping into the front of my briefs, and I could feel the material clinging to me. As we shifted in each other's arms, my legs caught the inside of her thighs and I was suddenly aware of all the liquid dripping down her legs. She had been leaking the entire time. The smell hit my nostrils and my consciousness faded for half a second, it was so heady. I couldn't resist anymore.
My hands went up to her back and I began trying to unhook the bra. Fluttershy kissed me back hard, encouraging me with her insistent hums as I kept fiddling with the hooks. Apparently I took too long, as she shoved me back a step, unhooked herself with one hand, and dropped her bra off in half a moment. I could hardly believe the beauty before me. Each breast was wonderfully poised and despite their size held no sag that I could notice. I may have an extremely biased view, but to me they were perfect. Her pink nipples stood out from her yellow coat, and my mouth watered at the thought of kissing them. I wasted no time.
I took her in my arms and our tongues wrestled as my bare skin thrilled at those soft, squishy orbs against my skin. I reached up and cupped her left breast. Fluttershy broke the kiss and gave a tiny cry. I looked into her eyes with barely contained lust as my other hand sunk into the fuzzy perfection of the other one. Fluttershy hummed, bringing a finger to her mouth and holding it in her teeth. My eyes never left hers, my grin and a single nod of my head told her I was not asking permission. I lowered my head and licked her left breast. Her hands sought my hair and began caressing my head as her whole body suddenly became rigid. Fluttershy whimpered as I licked and kissed my way around her breast, purposefully avoiding her nipple. Even now I wanted to tease her a little and see what more I could bring out of her. It did not take long.
"Oooh, Brendon! Please. Right there !" My head was seized in a hard grip and I found my face pulled into her chest, my mouth encapsulating her nipple. I sucked and licked it like it was filled with nectar, a unique touch of skin amidst a sea of soft yellow. Fluttershy's whole body squirmed even more, her back arching as she forced more of her chest into my face. I was in heaven. I could feel her juices running along my hardened cock and dripping off onto the floor, or running down my legs.
"Ooh! Mmmmm! Oh Celestia above!"
She began kissing the top of my head, nearly lost to her own ecstasy. Her moans also began getting louder and louder, her tone clearly hitting a higher octave. Quickly I pulled back and switched to her other nipple; one hand massaged her chest, the other slipped down to her waist. I wanted to bring her more pleasure - no I needed to! I had almost no experience with a female down below, but I knew where that fluid was coming from. My hand slipped around her the waistline of her panties and finally moved down to cup her soaked mound underneath. Her breath caught in her throat as my fingers gently pressed against the burning heat I found there. It felt so soft and so wonderful against my hand. My cock twitched at the thought of being buried in that furnace.
Fluttershy was frozen in place, her mouth open but no sound escaped. Her hands still held my hair, her legs wobbling as though she was about to fall. At that moment I gently bit on her nipple as I slid my hand into her panties.
"Ah!" she called, as my fingers explored - ever so gently - these lovely wet folds that soaked my hand with more love juices. Her body shuddered, and then all of a sudden she cried out as she came hard against my hand. Wonderful, sticky fluids drenched my palm and ran through my fingers. Every part of her shuddered and shook with convulsions. The grip with which she held my head would have been painful had I not been in the throws of my own high of having brought her to such a height of happiness. Finally her body could not keep upright and she fell onto the bed behind her, taking me with her.
I laughed as we tumbled over, and I could feel Fluttershy's arms release their hold on me. I raised myself up and looked down at her. Her chest heaved with every panting breath, her skin was a shining sheen of sweat, and her mouth was wide open. She stared at the ceiling, a look of silly delight upon her face. Even as she looked exhausted, I had a feeling it would not last long. My own desire hammered a rhythm in my chest. I peeled off my now thoroughly sticky briefs - partly out of necessity and partly to stop her from ripping anymore clothing in two - and my manhood sprung out. A movement caught my eyes and I saw Fluttershy's gaze had moved from the ceiling to my crotch. I was fully erect - almost painfully so - and I debated asking her to... do something. Anything. This had already reached new territory for me, and bedroom etiquette was not in my repertoire. Then again, she was in the same boat as me.
"Fluttershy," I began, "Would you - ?" Any further words were knocked out of me. Her speed was seemingly impossible. I felt myself tackled horizontally onto my back, a leering, red-eyed, and hungry creature of exquisite sexiness was looming over me. Her hands were on my shoulders, and I could feel her shaking with barely contained energy.
"Ohhhhhhhhhhh my ," she breathed out in a husky tone, panting like she'd finished a marathon. "You!"
There was a brief pause before I answered automatically, as though repeating what she said.
"Me." It wasn't even a question.
Is she so far gone she can't remember words? Wow. I broke her.
"You! Huh - huh - huh - have you - um - have you - " Her eyes were clearly aiming far down between my legs. " - did you e - e - e - eja -ejac - ejac -u -"
It became too adorable for me, as well as cruel to let her continue, so I came to the rescue.
"No! I mean, no. I didn't."
Her eyes snapped back to me and a unique expression took over her face. It seemed a combination of horror and explosive joy, as though she couldn't stand the thought that I hadn't shared in her orgasm and yet was so giddy to now be involved in it.
"Oh, I'm so sorry! W-w-we need to fix that!"
"O-okay?"
"Now..." There followed a brief and uncomfortable silence. "...what do you do?"
"What do I do?!" I said, nearly doing a double take.
Her hands shook even more, and behind her I could see her tail blurring like a fan. Even her wings looked restless. Her expression was almost animal; she was losing the war of her reason versus pure feeling.
"Yes!" she shouted. "Show me! "
Dear God, I don't know why this is hot, but it is Really hot!
"H-here," I replied in an attempt at a more gentle, soothing tone, "Give me your hand."
I reached up and took her hand in mine. I gently guided her hand down to my erection. She gently took hold of it and I shuddered, sucking air between my teeth.
"Oh no, I didn't - ?"
"-no!" I said, my jaw still clenched. "It feels really, really good. Now then..." I moved her hand up and down, folding her fingers under my own to help her get the right grip: not too loose and not too tight. Her hand, once again, felt amazing, but as my manhood was still slick with all of Fluttershy's previous leaking, it was already well lubricated. She continued experimentally moving her hand up and down, her fingers trying to feel all of the different textures of my cock. She was utterly fascinated, or obsessed, it was hard to tell. As I let go of her hand she quickly shifted her weight off of me. I saw a blur of motion so I lifted myself up onto my elbows to see what she was doing. I stared.
How? How can she be this adorable and so voluptuous at the same time?
Fluttershy had flattened herself down like a cat about to pounce on its prey. Her face was inches from my cock while she gently held it in her hands. She had a wide eyed expression of curiosity and desire as her tail thrashed madly. I took this in for a few seconds before she began to stroke me, and then I could not see.
I threw my head back with a moan. Her hand was slow at first, but quickly picked up speed. My legs writhed and my hands practically tore up the sheets in my grip. I don't even know what sounds escaped through my bared teeth, but it was worth it all. My beautiful Fluttershy was touching my most intimate part and I was lost in her tender grasp.
"Oh, Brendon," came her concerned yet enchanted voice, "Does it really feel that good?"
The room was upside down now with my head all the way back. I couldn't look at Fluttershy, it would drive me over the edge even more. Already my hips wanted to buck, but still I held on.
"Yes!" I cried. "Oh God! Yes!"
Instantly she was at my side again, her face right next to mine. I turned to see her devilish yet angelic face. In it I read how much she enjoyed my reactions. She was thrilling to see me so happy, and her eyes radiated an almost maternal affection and comfort. One hand stroked my cock while the other ran through the hair on my head. One of her legs was thrown over me, her breasts pushing at my arm and shoulder as she snuggled into the side of me. We lay like that on the bed, panting into each other's open mouths.
"Fl-fluttershy," I gasped. "I'm ... I'm going to ... to ..."
"Yes," she whispered. "Please, Brendon. I want to feel it."
"But ... but ... I'll get it ... on you. I'm sorry."
"Don't be, silly. I want this."
"You ..." I struggled to get the words out as I reached a shaky hand out to touch her face. "You ..."
"...yes, Brendon?"
My hand snaked down, past her breasts, past her bare waist, and darted inside her panties. As quickly as I could I found her leaking lips and pressed a finger against it. I found a way between them, and pushed a finger inside. She was so wet that I slipped in effortlessly. All the while I stared into her eyes.
"You... too."
"Oh! Oh my! Brendon !"
"Fluttershy !"
I moved in and took her mouth in mine. In that moment I exploded in her hand, shooting my cum between her fingers, all over her belly, and even glancing the underside of her breasts. Immediately after my first shot touched her skin, I felt her softness twitch and tighten around my finger as a seeming torrent flooded out her. We moaned hard into each other, and then broke the kiss to cry out as our aching ecstasy was finally made manifest. We screamed each other's names as we continued to pleasure each other. With our other hands we held together in a writhing, twitching embrace. Our bodies seemed filled to the brim with delight even as we emptied themselves upon each other. I stopped counting how many times I pulsed in her hand, but never before had I felt an orgasm last so long or feel so intimate.
We stayed like that for a while. All I could hear was our breathing and the blood pounding in my veins. Eventually we slowly extricated ourselves and lay on our backs, breathing. Just breathing. And smiling.
Fluttershy reached out for my hand and entwined our fingers. I looked over at her. Even with her different batpony features she was still beautiful. Her smile reflected my own emotions which seemed likely to spill over. So many things wanted to come gushing from my mouth. Fluttershy started to giggle, which was so infectious I began to do the same. Then we were chuckling, and soon we were laughing together. Tears flowed down our cheeks as we just laughed for joy, happiness, or even without knowing why. We couldn't help it, and no shame came between us. It didn't matter. Something magical had happened and some hidden doors had been flung wide open in our hearts and minds. Joy was our drink, it was our air, and we felt it should go on forever.
"Oooooh, Brendon, that was just -"
*POOMF!*
Something flashed in the room followed by a tiny gasp. I sat bolt upright. "What the-?"
"Ummmm...sorry to interrupt?" Twilight Sparkle was standing in the middle of the floor, looking as embarrassed and uncomfortable as a pony could be. Her eyes darted from one of us to the other and then she quickly turned away. She started stammering quickly as we sat up in stunned silence.
"Umm! Umm! I was just m-m-making sure we were going to be on time! S-s-so I came to s-s-send you right over to the sp-p-pa. Uhhhhh... maybe you should get dressed."
Fluttershy and I exchanged the briefest of looks, glanced down at the mess we were, and bolted from the bed. We ran down the hall and slammed open the bathroom door.
"Jump in the shower!" I yelled to Fluttershy.
"But what about you?"
I slapped a washcloth off a towel ring. "I'm okay, just jump in there for a sec."
"Oh. Okay."
Despite my hurry I couldn't help but follow her every movement as I saw her peel off her panties, flounce into the shower, and draw the curtain. In a moment I could hear the water running.
I could watch that backside for hours.
Quickly I to went to the sink to wet the washcloth, but I stopped as I looked down at my right hand. It still glistened with her love juices. Glancing around quickly, I decided to try something on a curious whim. Feeling a little silly, I brought my fingers to my mouth and gave a little suck.
"Mmmf!" Every hair stood on end and I almost jumped. It was delicious! No, more than delicious: it was exquisite! Without thinking I licked my hand clean in seconds, all the while trying to stop making little humming noises of delight. It was as though I was a child eating a candy bar for the first time.
Holy shlamoley! How can she have this kind of taste? This doesn't happen on earth. Right? I mean, no one ever said they loved the taste of -
"Oooooh." I jumped at the noise. It was coming from the shower. "Mmmmmm."
What is she doing in there?
Then I looked down at my hand, then at the shower stall.
Naaaah. Couldn't be.
I waved my hand dismissively and ran the tap. I glanced up and noticed my reflection. There stood my blue doppelganger - silent for once - giving a huge nod and a thumbs up. I grinned back and responded in kind.
It wasn't very thorough, but soon we were semi-clean, dressed and standing before Twilight. The purple alicorn was still blushing profusely as she closed her eyes and her horn began to glow. I felt a familiar tingling feeling and a strange sense of vertigo began to descend on me. Then I realized the last time I felt like this, I was surrounded by magic and hurtling through a portal. I closed my eyes against the feeling, knowing it was more in my head than anything else, when there was a brilliant flash behind my eyelids and Fluttershy's house stood empty.
Author's Note
So, I'm giving up giving exact dates until I have so kind of normal schedule during this whole COVID crisis. I deeply apologize for the delay. This one was a long labor, and I had to do it justice. To all who have stuck with me, thank you so much.
On a side note, how effective/stupid/dumb/annoying/brilliant was my intro to the clop? Should I just do the whole (clop starts here) thingamy? I don't want to spring unwanted action on people who aren't reading this for hot "human on pony" action. Feedback is always appreciated.
For those who are worried about my state of mind/being, your concern is also appreciated. I'm doing alright - both physically and mentally. And not the simple "No, I'm okay, please go away!" kind. I'm grateful for where I am and what I am doing. This is another aspect of my life I am grateful to share with others, as you are the only ones who will ever read this.
Maybe that sounds stupid, but it just occurred to me. I mean, why should an erotic fanfic (that probably has more self-insert than I am willing to admit even to myself) have some kind of great value even to its author? I don't know where I'm going with this train of thought. But I thought I'd share it with ya'll.
Anyway, I'm tired. I hoped you enjoyed reading this. Have a wonderful day. (non)Greg out!
What do you mean, "friend?"
Chapter 22) Spas, Stories, and Cider
There was a shimmering instant and then we appeared in an immaculately clean hallway. Glancing around, I could see that this seemed a rather high-class place, even if I judged it on just the hallway. From the diamond patterned wallpaper to the polished floor and the elaborately carved doors: it all told me I was in a place of quality. Not that I had ever been in a spa in my life, but it at least felt like a rather high end hotel.
I didn't have much time to take it in, for as soon as we arrived two nearly identical ponies came to greet us. Obviously twins, one was pink with sky blue mane, and the other was sky blue with a pink mane. Their matching dresses were clearly oriental in design which gave me a brief mental pause.
...but why question it now?
Twilight stepped to one side and introduced me.
"Brendon, this is Aloe Vera and Lotus Blossom," she said, indicating each in turn. "They run the Ponyville Day Spa. I'll leave you in their capable hands."
"We have already prepared the herbal bath for the both of you," said Lotus Blossom. "We will lead you to separate rooms to be changed before you take your bath."
"Which will be brief!" broke in Twilight, clearly in hurry.
"We have one simple question," added Aloe Vera. "For the sake of time, will you both be bathing at the same time, or one at a time?"
"Not together!" squeaked Twilight, turning a slight shade of red. "Definitely separate!"
"Ah, we see," they added together, giving us both a knowing wink. Fluttershy and I both glanced at each other with a start, and soon we found ourselves each ushered into our rooms. As Lotus led me into mine she whispered in my ear, "Rarity is quite the talker." I found myself breaking out in a bit of a sweat as she continued. "We thought you two could have some 'quality time' together, but perhaps Ms. Sparkle's idea would save some time, yes?"
A warm feeling began spreading up my neck. "Uh, heh, yeah I guess it might." Lotus directed me to a changing screen and a stack of towels, and informed me to then proceed to a side door that would lead to the herbal bath. I politely asked for some privacy to which Lotus politely nodded. Once I was alone, I quickly undressed and wrapped a towel around my waist. I looked at the door with uncertainty. I knew what I had to do, but I wanted to have a little time to say farewell. After all, I had wanted privacy for entirely other reasons. Looking around, I soon found what I was looking for.
As soon as I walked up to the mirror, I saw the man to whom I'd come to say good-bye. He smirked at me.
"Oh come on, " said my blue clone. "Are you really going to get sad over saying good-bye to yourself ?"
I scratched the back of my head and grinned. "Well, kind of," I said. "Even with how annoying you've been, it has been oddly nice to talk to another human being -"
"Another human being?"
"You know what I mean! Someone who knew me. Who... I don't know... was familiar and not just another pony. I just realized after you're gone that... well, that's it. I'm alone."
"You're still alone," Blue added, a little gently. "And at the same time, you're not alone at all."
"Yeah. Well, I'm no good at this."
"No, you're not."
"And neither are you."
"True dat, yo."
"Don't say that."
"Hey, that's wiggety wiggety whack."
I couldn't help it and burst out laughing. "God that's so stupid."
"Well, so is getting choked up about saying farewell to me. You're all over the place! Literally."
I started at that. "Wait, what do you mean?"
Blue scratched under his nose and looked thoughtful. "Well, we both know that some piece of you is in this Evil Thing that's invaded Ponyland along with you."
I looked down. "Yeah, I've tried not to think too much about that."
"Which is why I'm going to remind you of it. And who knows what else it's got inside of it that's from you?"
"What could be worse than my depression?"
Blue shrugged. "Maybe something else you haven't thought of until recently."
"Like what? Tell me! I need to know!"
"Whoa! Careful! Temper temper!"
" - wait. What -?"
"- but you're going to make the ponies late. Get your ass into that bath."
" - but - "
"And I'm sure nothing compromising will happen in a spa with your new girlfriend."
"- don't change the subject - "
"Now shut up and get moving."
"You can't-"
"See you later."
"Seriously - ?"
"Have a nice life and all that."
"..."
"And stop thinking too much. You sure do talk too much."
"Says you! "
"Exactly!"
And with that, he turned around and walked away. In the reflection I could see him disappear through the side door behind me. Or rather behind him? I stood there for a moment, dumbfounded.
Wow. I'm an ass sometimes.
I shrugged my shoulders, gave a two-fingered salute to the mirror, and walked out to take my bath.
He's probably right, though. Nothing's probably going to happen.
* * *
Elsewhere, in a place far from the light of sun or enlightenment.
It is infuriating! How hard is it to control some stupid horse brain? I barely got that Rainbow to even bully that simpering weakling. These damned creatures can't seriously be pushing me out with the "Power of Friendship?"
"They'll... stop you... "
Us, child. They need to stop us.
"How... are you still..."
Shh shh shh, don't speak. Rest, my lovely nightmare. Don't use up your efforts resisting me. After all, I'm a part of you.
"No, part of me is in you !"
Shut up! Same thing. But perhaps you've hit the nail on the head, as it were. The night is where your power waxes greatest, yes? That would be the best time to infiltrate them. I have been impatient. My daylight efforts have taken too much out of us. We must rest. And you, child, must stop this petulant squirming against me.
"Why call me... child... when I know you... you're so much young - "
BE SILENT! YOU ARE ALL CHILDREN IN COMPARISON TO ME! ALL OF YOU! I'LL - no, no more of that. And I'll hear no more from you, you stupid, worthless creature. Didn't you once hurt your own beloved sister? And I recall that you nearly killed those you now call "friends." Those who believe in you most, and look at what you've done to them. At what you've now become!
"That's what you've done to me! Why are you doing this? Why do you torture me?"
Because, Child, it's what you want me to do. And I will have you all in the end. To do with as I please.
"Then why the human?"
Oh Child, one day he'll realize I'm doing all of this for his own good. Everything I do, I do for him.
A dark chuckling rumble echoed along with the sounds of weeping in that abhorrent blackness.
* * *
Twenty uneventful minutes later, I emerged from the spa wearing a smile and some new clothes to find everyone waiting for me outside: Twilight, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Spike, Rarity, Rainbow, and Fluttershy.
"Feelin' better there, sugarpie?" smiled Applejack with a tip of her hat.
"Ho, yes!" I replied as I leaned back and stretched out my arms. "That was brief, but refreshing." I looked at Rarity and turned a few times in place for her to see. "And these new clothes are great! I really owe you."
Rarity waved it off as if it were a trifle. "Oh think nothing of it, darling! How else would you get any thing to wear? Also, I packed the rest of your necessities right here!" At that, Spike walked up and handed me a backpack that seemed filled to bursting with supplies. I made a note to look through it later. Picking it up, I was surprised by how light it was. Or was that, once again, the strange response my body was having to this world?
Am I changing into something? What is the point of all this?
Hefting the bag onto my shoulders I nodded at Spike and then did a double take. Tied to Spike's back was a burden at least as big as, or bigger than, he was and seemed to be made up of ornate luggage of a rather effeminate nature all precariously bundled together with cords of rope. One in particular was as big as all the others combined.
"Ummm, Spike?" I asked. "Do you need any... uh, help with all that?"
"No," came his quizzical reply. "Why do you ask?"
I blinked. "No reason."
Glancing at Rarity, I saw her grinning at her boyfriend (dragonfriend?) with admiration. I still had a question for the white unicorn.
"I have to ask, how did you make the boots? I mean, you gals don't exactly have feet."
She snapped out of her revelry of Spike's musculature. "Well, I must admit it proved a challenge, but you're not the only creature with feet in this world. Also, I did take thorough measurements of your body."
I coughed and turned away quickly. "Right."
And let us never speak of it again.
Gazing at this picturesque and peculiar posse of packed ponies who were soon to depart for perils unprecedented, I found myself filling with excitement. A real adventure! It was like something out of a story. The sun was shining, everyone was smiling, and we were... together. A group, a gang, a party, a fellowship, and that struck an odd cord within me. Again I was surrounded by people - ponies - who were my friends, or wanted to be, and I still wasn't used to this universal acceptance. And now, for at least several days, I would be unable to avoid it. Food for thought for a later time; for now I walked up next to Fluttershy as we started our journey.
* * *
We continued for a while, many of the others conversing with each other. I was happy to see Fluttershy back to her usual pony self. Her eyes were back to their more normal tint and I thrilled as they glanced my way.
"So," I said, "How does it feel to be back to normal?"
"Ooh, it feels good," she replied, heaving a little sigh of relief. I found myself enjoying the rise and fall of her shoulders, and even the small twitch of her wings as she did so. With an internal grin of glee, I knew I was now able to admire her openly. No longer did I have to hide my looks. I could let my eyes roam where they willed. She was wearing a green sweater that hung off of one bare shoulder along with conservative shorts. The latter had her butterfly cutie mark on the side, and the sight of it gave me a brief reminder of how I had seen that cutie mark about an hour before. Of course it had been on her bare flank and I had other things occupying most of my attention at the time.
Turning my eyes back to her gentle face I remarked simply, "I'm glad."
Her expression grew more somber. "I wish we were doing this for a nicer reason."
I nodded. "Yeah. I mean, it's beautiful out here and even though this is pretty serious I'm glad to be doing this. I haven't been hiking or camping seriously for a few years." I smiled. "And the company seems pretty nice."
A bright blur of bubbliness burst in between us. From "somewhere" she produced and donned a detective hat. "Seems? Seeeeems?! " Pinkie Pie suddenly eyed everything with a flash of suspicion, holding before her a large magnifying glass. "You think something isn't what it seems? That we've been -" (here she threw her arms around our necks and pulled us close, her eyes darting left and right) "- infiltrated?!"
"You know we can all hear you, right?" came Twilight's voice at the front of our party. Her voice had a smile in it.
"But Twiley," came Pinkie's perky reply, "Shouldn't we be checking to see if -" and again her eyes quickly scanned suspiciously "-we're not alone?"
"Oh come off it, Pinkie," said Applejack, shifting her pack more comfortably on her shoulders. "Ah think we can at least trust each other."
"Well, maybe Pinkie's right. Maybe we should make sure we're all acting... I don't know... like ourselves."
I turned and was surprised to see that Rainbow Dash had spoken. Her ears were flat against her head and she had a look on her face I couldn't quite place. Sadness? Concern?
Guilt?
"You - you really think so?" said Fluttershy. She slowed her pace a bit and gazed around at her friends with concern. "You think it could... turn us on each other?"
"You mean like Discord?" piped Pinkie Pie.
"There's no need to think that," said Twilight. "So far we've only seen this thing invade people's dreams, we have no reason to think it can take over anypony it wants to. And anyway, Discord eventually became Fluttershy's friend. We'll be fine, we just have to stick together."
Everyone nodded at this and we continued on our way. After a while everyone began to talk again as though nothing had happened. Applejack and Rainbow began to reminisce about a race between the two of them. Pinkie Pie started asking Spike what it was like to be so much taller. Rarity took Fluttershy aside and began whispering together in a way that made me feel the need to move away. And so I found myself walking beside Twilight Sparkle.
She seemed at first to not want to talk to me, or even look at me. She strode on as the head of the party, looking ahead for trouble. I cleared my throat politely. Her ears twitched. Looking at her expression, I could read there something hidden. She was concerned and judging from the way she kept fiddling with her hands and scratching her neck, I felt like she was uncomfortable. Was I making her feel that way?
"Um, hey, Twilight," I said, feeling a little foolish. "I guess we haven't really had the time to really meet. It's, uh, it's nice to meet you."
She looked at me, smiled and nodded politely. But her eyes shifted a bit as she fiddled with her hands. "It's very nice to meet you too, Brendon."
Wow, that was royalty levels of politeness right there. Her tone even sounds a bit of Celestia. But something's off. It's none of my business, though.
Still I had to say something. Silence made me more uncomfortable.
"I'm, uh, I'm sorry if I caused all this. I didn't mean to upset everything here. I mean I happened to follow you here, and now I'm stuck here, but... I don't know. I mean it's not your fault I ended up here." I was rambling, talking entirely too fast. "I guess what I mean is... I don't blame you."
"You should," she replied bluntly, looking down.
"What?"
"You should blame me. If I hadn't been so stupid as to make come back to your world again... All of this is my fault."
Though I wanted to protest, my curiosity wanted to know more. "Why did you come to my world?"
She looked at me and I saw such a sadness there, such a helpless look in those huge eyes, that I truly felt sorry for her. "Something very... selfish."
I expected her to say more, but after the silence deepened further I knew she wasn't going to be forthcoming on any details.
"It's, uh, it's okay," I said. "You don't have to tell me anything. I mean, we just met, right? Is, uh, is there anything you want to know about me? Anything you want to know about humans?"
"I already know a lot about humans."
"Oh. Right. Makes sense. I guess that's why you came to my world?"
Her gaze seemed to turn inward, and I felt she was no longer looking at me anymore. She was thinking deeply about something else entirely. Then she gave a tiny shake of her head and her look became more attentive and probing. "What are your intentions with Fluttershy?"
I was a little taken aback. "In - intentions?"
"Well, yes. Is this your special somepony or are you just having... what do you humans call it? A 'one night stand?'"
That phrase felt horribly out of place in Equestria, and I did my best to keep a level expression.
"No! I don't want to hurt her. I know I've only known her a little bit, but we've grown close. Really. I'll admit a few things have caused it to... escalate faster than I - we - thought they would. But..." I trailed off and left the thought unfinished.
"The fact you've been here, what, five days from what I'm told? And you too have already been..." Twilight blushed and looked down. "I'm not sure of all that I saw when I found you two, but you'd better have a good explanation for it. After all... you're human."
She raised her eyes to mine again and I felt stricken by what I saw there. Was that judgement? Fear? No, not quite. Something else. Wariness at least, if nothing else.
I took my time before responding.
You can't deny what you are and where you come from.
"I don't know all that you have seen on Earth, but I... I think I understand what you mean. It's not something I can easily explain, even to myself. Honestly I've never been in a relationship that went this far so quickly. I wish I could give you some kind of proof, but I can't. And if you've met... bad - worse - humans, then you can't believe me right away. I... ummm... I could make some kind of big promise, or something, but that won't do, will it?"
"Maybe not. If you were a pony from Ponyville, I'd make you take the Pinkie Promise."
"Oh you guys do that too?"
Twilight cocked her head to one side. "Excuse me?"
"Well, we call it pinky swearing, but I guess it makes sense. I mean, we all have pinkies, right?"
Twilight looked like she was suddenly far out of her depth. "We do? I mean, you do? I mean... there are more of her?"
"Her? Her who?"
"Pinkie."
"What?" I said, and then did a double take as I caught sight of Pinkie Pie out of the corner of my eye. "You mean her ?"
"That's the only Pinkie I know. I didn't know humans had a lot of females like her on -"
"Wait, hold on!" I said, already laughing. "A lot of Pinkie Pies? God no! No I mean pinkies !" And I held up my pinky finger on one hand.
"Huh?"
"Give me your hand for a sec," I said, and Twilight reached out. I carefully wrapped my pinky finger around hers. "This is something we did when I was a kid. Mostly. We crossed pinkies and made a promise, or we swore an oath. Pinky swear!"
The light of reason returned to Twilight's eyes. "Ohhhhh! Thank Celestia! I love Pinkie Pie, but we've already been overrun with a lot of her before, and I think I just had flashbacks."
My eye twitched. "You were 'overrun' with Pinkie Pies?"
"Oh, yes. Magical clones. A big mess. But we got it all sorted out in the end."
"Yeesh. I can only imagine."
"Hopefully that's all you'll ever need to do."
"Oh. But anyway, I mean, I'd make a Pinkie Promise if you want, but I'd rather just say that you should, um... test me."
"Test you?"
"Well, yeah. I mean, if you're worried about what I'm going to do to her, then please watch me. See if I'm genuine. I mean, if Luna were here, I'd say have her look in my brain again and she'd tell you everything she saw, but... that's probably how we got in this mess in the first place."
"What do you mean, Brendon?"
Crap! I just admitted that it's all because of me!
"I - I - I - I just meant that it seemed like all this started after she got into my dreams. What if... I mean... what if I brought something in with me?"
Twilight looked thoughtful. "But... there are no magical entities in your world. At least, not from any of the studies I made while I was over there."
"You're probably right, but... oh I don't know." I ran my fingers through my hair in frustration. "I just can't help but feel that this might be all my fault."
Twilight just looked at me. Her expression was rather neutral and I couldn't read anything from it. The word that came to my mind was "polite." It again made me think of Celestia, but while the Princess of the Sun seemed unmoved at times, she still radiated welcome and acceptance. Here was one who had pulled away from me. Not in a negative way but neither was there anything positive.
She still doesn't trust me. Not that I can wholly blame her.
There was silence between us while the purple alicorn continued to size me up. I began to sweat.
Well, better change the subject.
"Celestia told me that you're a pony called an alicorn. Sorry if this is a dumb question but... what is that?"
"It's not a dumb question, at all. I'm pretty much what you see. I have wings and a magical horn."
"So, your parents were both a pegasus and a unicorn?"
"What? Oh no," laughed Twlight with a shake of her head. "I was born as a unicorn. Just a plain old unicorn. But I became something... more. Did anypony tell you about the Elements of Harmony?"
"Yeah, something about all them combining together to make some kind of super powerful magic. And you were... hang on..." I closed my eyes tight and snapped my fingers. "...don't tell me. Something to do with your cutie mark - magic!"
"Right. And the elements all embody an aspect of friendship. After I studied deeper into the power of friendship, I eventually became the Princess of Friendship. So... I was given wings and now I'm a princess."
"That sounds... oddly simple."
"Oh, there is so much more to it, but that is the simplest version."
"I see. I think."
I tried to keep a thoughtful look on my face. Inside was a different story.
Holy crap, this world really does have the "power of friendship." That's insane. Yet, why am I surprised? But then that means-
My gut turned inside me, but I needed to speak my thoughts.
"Can I ask you a really blunt question?"
"I... guess. Go ahead."
Suddenly nervous, I looked down and found my fingers to be very interesting to look at. "Um, well you said you're now Princess of Friendship. So I guess that means you're an expert on friends, so... why are you so distrusting of me?"
That caught her off guard a bit. Her expression became pained and she looked like she'd been struck. Then she turned her head forward and dropped her gaze to the ground. We walked for a bit in silence and this time I felt no need to fill it. Eventually, she spoke.
"You're right, and I don't like being like this. So why am I so cynical and don't trust a human? I... believe your world helped make me this way."
"Oh," I said, and nothing more. Her answer mulled around in my head as I thought of a myriad of things that could have happened on Earth to do this to her.
I opened my mouth to say something, but she interrupted me.
"Don't. Please. Don't ask me right now."
"Uh. O-okay. Sorry."
I faded back a bit in the group and kept to one side so as not to interfere with any one person or the other. My self-consciousness had come back, and I felt the desire to keep away. I felt like someone had just ruined my day. The journey had started so well, and now it was like that goodness was taken from me. I kept my head down, feeling like a spoiled child who just wanted things to go my way. It was stupid, really.
Walking along, I could hear snippets of conversation but my attention couldn't hang on to any one of them. I decided to just look at my companions, and suddenly it was as if they shifted before my eyes. Yes, they looked familiar as I had been getting used to them and their anthropomorphic appearance. But Twilight's words raised an idea that I hadn't wanted to deal with. They were completely different creatures from a world so different from mine. The word "alien" came to my mind. Yes, there were similarities between us, but Twilight and I knew many of the differences. Now the shapes of my new friends began to impress themselves on me again as "foreign" and "strange" where before they had been "adorable," "comforting," or simply "new." But while their bone structure was a part of it, even more was the fact that they came from a world brighter and more trusting than my own. I was a dark stain, a taint on this place.
I shook my head. No that wasn't right. I could be, but that didn't have to be the case. All humans weren't alike, just as the ponies and... other intelligent species here were different from each other.
I was reminded of a terrifying fear I held for so long: that I would become my father. But I realized that I thought of it as though it was a werewolf transformation. Against my will, against all my efforts, I'd become him and it'd all be too late. A wise person had gently told me, "But you know you can't be him. You aren't him." So simple, but I laughed at the amazing truth of it. I was myself. So why fear I would become someone else? And now, the same thing applied: I was not every bad human. I was Brendon, dammit.
It's been so hard to keep these thoughts without my meds. How much of my therapy do I need to relearn?
"Hey, Brendon!"
My mind snapped out of its revelry. "Huh?"
Applejack was waving to me. Beside her was a rather wilted Rainbow Dash staring at the ground.
"Come over here for a sec."
Sideling up next to them as we kept walking, I looked to Applejack and nodded towards the depressed Dash. "Is she okay?"
"Oh, she will be," said Applejack. "Especially after she gets somethin' off her chest." Her demeanor looked like a combination between stern yet gentle as she smiled and put a tender arm on Rainbow's back. "Isn't that right?"
Rainbow turned her head in my direction and did her best to not look at me. Her ears were back and it seemed as though her mane had flopped along with her mood. Her hands were clasped before her like a penitent child.
"Well, um," she started, her eyes finding mine and then looking away. "I just wanted to say...I mean. Awww, I'm no good at this!" She turned to her friend with pleading eyes.
"You'll do fine, Dashie. Go ahead."
I decided the best thing was to keep quiet. I knew what she would say, but was not at all sure of my response.
Rainbow sighed and then looked me square in the face. "Look, I'm sorry for what I did earlier today. Really really sorry. I mean, I'm not usually like that. Like, at all! All those things I said, and... what I did... look if you can't forgive me I understand but please know I'm..." Tears welled in her eyes. "...I'm s-sorry."
I stared, wide eyed, and realized I did not really know this mare. I expected some half-assed "sorry but not really" garbage. But here was something genuine. Or was it? We all have things we hide from our friends, right? Who was to say that Rainbow Dash didn't have some darker side that none of her friends knew about? Perhaps is was Twilight's distrust that made me bitter, but there was a struggle in me. And even though no peace came to me, I knew what I would say.
"I forgive you Rainbow Dash," I said. "And, uh, thank you for saying that to me. It means a lot."
Rainbow sniffed and wiped an eye with one hand. "Really?"
I nodded, trying to give a small smile that I did not feel; as though I felt or even meant any of the words I had just spoken. My old acting skills served me well.
"Oh thanks, Brendon!" she said, and gave me a big bear hug that pulled me off the ground. A series of cracking noises traveled down my spine.
"Sure! Fine!" I managed to say. "Anytime!"
"You might want to put him down,"
Rainbow realized what she was doing and dropped me at once. "Oh, right."
Picking myself up off the ground, we continued on. But a thought had struck me just then, but so had the dirt road. I couldn't remember had seemed so important. Something Rainbow Dash had said. What was it?
As the three of us caught up with the others, I found myself walking right behind Rarity and Fluttershy. My ear caught the tail end of their conversation. Fluttershy had mumbled about being no good at something, and Rarity had giggled and I thought I heard her whisper "...he'll love it." My face reddened and I smiled. Taking a deep breath I walked up next to Fluttershy.
"I'll love what?" I said.
Fluttershy squeaked and then shrunk in on herself with a blush and a bashful smile. She began twiddling her mane on one finger while trying to pull it over her face with the other. Rarity merely lifted her eyebrows at me like I was a slight irritant, and then tut tutted at me with a casual wave of her hand.
"Excuse me," she said, clearly feigning offense. "But you are interrupting a private conversation. And at the moment, it doesn't concern you."
"Oh no, that's not right," came Fluttershy’s quiet reply. "It certainly has to do with his-"
"Thank you, Fluttershy. I'm sure Brendon doesn't need to hear anything more."
Rarity glanced at me for half a moment and I saw her lips twitch to a smile before she smoothed it away.
I felt flattered at this conversation and, feeling uncharacteristically bold, I decided to try something. Smiling down at Fluttershy with what I hoped to God was a suave look, I said, "Is there anything I can do to...help?"
She started a little at this, but she seemed to quickly catch on to my demeanor.
"Well," she said, with a smile set my neck hairs on end, "I might need some practice. I mean, if you have the time. Exactly how big is your -"
"- collar size!" chimed in Rarity. "We need to fit you for something."
"Oh," I replied with a smile. "Not my hat size?"
Rarity blinked. "Why would I need that?"
I winked at Fluttershy. "For my head."
Fluttershy and I couldn't help ourselves and broke down in giggles. Rarity gently held her head in her hand.
"Oh, really you two. I might expect this sort of thing from Rainbow Dash, but... I mean it's you Fluttershy!"
"Oh my, yes, it is a little inappropriate but..." She glanced up at me. "...it seems I have a little boost in my confidence." At the word "boost" she gave me a little hip check.
"Speaking of boosts," I said, looking at Rarity. "I have to ask, why are you so bent on helping me? I mean the cologne, the clothes, the, uh, advice for Fluttershy. What's going on here?"
"Ohhh, it's nothing dear," she said with a wave of her hand. "Really. Part of that is just my generous nature and, well, most of it is in repayment for... my handsome, strapping, strong, and wonderful Spikey Wikey." Her head swiveled to stare longingly at Spike as he readjusted his immense backpack on his shoulders. "When we fully realized our love, it was like a revelation. Everything fell into place so well, and now it's as if something that was always missing... well, it's been found."
"Well, thank God for that," I said. "I was worried that he - well really that I - was taking advantage of your... state."
"Oh, that ," said Rarity. "I think it was more that I took advantage of him . He would never have been able to fight me off, not that he really tried to. And it only got better once he got...well...bigger."
"Did it, um," asked Fluttershy with trepidation. "Did it hurt ? I mean, the first time?"
Rarity suddenly looked at Fluttershy as though she were a hallucination. It clicked in her mind what Fluttershy's words had implied. "What?!" She glanced from me to Fluttershy and back again. "You don't mean to tell me you resisted - ! You didn't - ! But how - ? But you had the - ! I'm simply lost , my dears! You mean to tell me you didn't do the deed?" She turned to Fluttershy. "I thought you had simply left out the best parts because you were being, well, you."
"Oh no, Rarity. I did tell you all the best parts."
My face turned bright red.
"Oh!" said Rarity. "I thought you were just asking me for things to spice up what you already had, not take it to the next stage." She saw the look on my face and grinned. "Well, take it all at your own pace, my dears. I can't wait to hear all about it!"
Rarity, smiling in a very knowing manner, walked away and began chatting with Twilight. I put my arm around Fluttershy and continued walking along beside her. Inside I felt a desire to say something, but I couldn't think of what needed addressing more. Then the decision was made for me.
"Do you,"Fluttershy asked slowly. "Do you think we're going too slow?"
"What?!" I said, trying not to raise my voice too much. "God, no! If anything, we've gone faster than any other relationship I've ever been in. I mean, not that it's a bad thing. It's just different."
There was a brief silence.
"But," I said suddenly, "I mean, you have the whole heat thing going on, and then you were a batpony that craved apples. I mean, things got sped up a bit." I scratched my head in thought. "If anything, I think Rarity is more amazed we kept ourselves so under control."
Fluttershy blushed deeply and I could feel my own cheeks burning a bit.
"Oh," she said finally, followed by a long silence. "Because even though we were... I mean..."
"Yeah!" I said. "With the whole...uh..."
"Right! But even so, and now I know we're both feeling a bit more..."
"Ourselves?" I offered.
"Oh. Yes. That's it. Even so, I... still...felt...really really good."
I slowly nodded, not sure what to say.
"So..." she said. "Maybe... every once in a while..."
"Y-yeah, every once in a while..." I repeated.
"We could, maybe, perhaps, I don't know..."
"Sure!" I said, far too quickly.
"Oh!" Her ears perked up and her whole body stiffened slightly like she was coming to attention. "Yes! Yes, that's good!"
"Good," I said, in what I figured was a reassuring way. It felt like we had both made an awkward business agreement.
"So..." she began.
"We'll just have to see when we have the time." As hard as I tried, it still sounded like a question.
We both looked into each other's eyes, smiled, and our shoulders relaxed. The strange tension we hadn't wanted to acknowledge went away. Fluttershy slipped her arm around my waist and we continued on like that for some time. Eventually I felt her head lean on my shoulder and heard her give a contented sigh. In my head, joy fluttered around like a bird in flight. As I looked around, every object seemed to bring me happiness, or suddenly had a bright side to it that caused me to smile at it never had before. It was tempered a bit from my wariness of the other ponies, but my temporary high kept me from thinking too much of them. My thought could not connect to anything concrete as emotion took over. I continued on in this happy vein until we found a place to set up camp for the evening.
It was a simple affair to set up the tents, though I figured that Rarity's rather special baggage would require some extra help. However, when I offered to help Spike with his pack, he simply grinned and triggered some kind of magical switch on the largest box he had been carrying. It opened up into a huge tent that looked like it came out of a sultan's caravan. Through an opening I could see cushions and even a beautiful divan inside. Apparently Rarity had had it ordered special for when she had to "suffer" through the outdoors. Spike had a much smaller tent out front. I had a suspicion that it would wind up empty part way through the night.
I set up the tent in my own pack and was content on its small size. The clearing where we camped was of a decent size, so I set myself up a little apart from the others, right at the edge of the wood. Not too far away, but not too close in my opinion. While I was putting the finishing touches on the inside of the tent, Spike stuck his head in and said I should look inside my pack when I was all alone for something he snuck in for me. I nodded and smiled in thanks before he disappeared. I waited for three heart beats and then dug through my pack until I came across something wrapped in paper. It looked like a package sent by mail, and had postage stamped all over it. Things like "Urgent!" and "Overnight!" and "Pretty please!" were written on the sides in various handwriting. And where was this Griffonstone that it seemed to have come from? A note attached to the parcel said simply, "To Brendon, with Thanks." I shrugged and tore it open. Its glorious contents spilled out, and my mouth watered at the sight. Multiple packs of different kinds of jerky greeted my eyes. There seemed to be fish as well as meat, each in their own wrappings and clearly meant to stay for a long time. After inhaling deeply, I put them back in my pack and buried it deep inside to avoid the smell getting out. But not before I crunched on a small piece of meat that, if it wasn't bacon, was at least liken to it enough that a tiny tear slid down my cheek at my first taste. After I chewed at it thoughtfully, I sighed in great contentment.
"I don't care what comes after. I've had bacon ."
I emerged soon after and found everyone else was gathering around a small fire. Despite my misgivings about two of those present, I knew it would be best to join them. A few were pulling up logs to sit on while Spike worked on lighting the fire.
"Guess what I brought folks?" she asked, her grin growing wider by the second.
"Apple jack," moaned Twilight. "Don't tell me you brought - "
"Cider!" yelled Rainbow just as Applejack produced a large jug that simply read "cider."
"Not just any cider," said the cowgirl pony. "This is our special aged cider. The one we don't let the foals and fillies drink."
"Ooo!" squeaked Pinkie Pie. "I haven't had that since that one party I don't remember!"
"And let's never repeat it," said the stone-faced purple pony. "Ev-er! "
"Oh darling, loosen up," said Rarity with a toss of her mane. "It's fine if we have just a drop or two."
"I'm having more than a drop!" said Rainbow as she practically bounced on her seat with anticipation.
"Um, I think, that is, I would very much like to, um, have some of that as well. I mean, if that's okay."
Everyone stopped and looked at Fluttershy. Hardly anyone blinked.
"Well... sure if you really want to, Fluttershy," Applejack said, not unkindly. "But, didn't you..."
"-didn't you swear to never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever drink that stuff again?" interrupted Pinkie Pie.
"Well, I know I may have gone a little overboard last time-"
"Overboard?!" cried Rainbow. "All you did was act a little goofy. Then you called one pony 'Stupid,' gasped, and ran away saying you were the worst pony in the world."
I had to ask. "What do you mean by goofy?"
Pinkie Pie giggled. "I thought she was great!"
"That's 'cause she laughed at literally everything you said or did," said Twilight.
"Oh," I said. "That doesn't sound bad at all."
"Yeah, no kidding," said Rainbow. "We've been hoping for Flutters to come out of her shell a bit. I guess she still caught us off guard a bit."
At that, Applejack held aloft the beloved/dreaded jug and yelled out, "Bottom's up, ya'll!" and took a large swig. Then it was passed from pony to pony around the campfire, with everyone taking a little bit. Rainbow took a healthy swig, almost as large as Applejack's. Pinkie Pie took one gulp before Twilight swiped it out of her hands and took a sip. Rarity daintily pulled out a champaign glass from "somewhere" and poured a glassful. Spike was rather hesitant.
"Am I really allowed to drink this? Last time I was too young."
"Well, you did put on some weight recently," I added.
"Hey! Are you calling me fat?"
"No, I'm calling you a scaredy cat."
"Hey! I'm not a cat either!"
"Just drink it darling," said Rarity. "Here, let me help you." And with that she guided the jug to his lips and "forced" a couple of mouthfuls down before handing it off to Fluttershy.
The yellow pegasus looked down at it with trepidation. Her ears were back and I could see her hands trembling a tiny bit. Then she noticed me looking at her, and her eyes hardened. She cleared her throat, sat up straight, and took one large gulp. She pulled the jug away with a few coughs. I noticed the few droplets she sprayed out made the fire flare up alarmingly.
Whoa. Powerful stuff.
Still coughing into her armpit, she handed the jug to me. I glanced around at the smiling pony faces and then upended the jug. It was the most delicious hard cider I'd ever had in my life. Before I knew it, I had already downed a few mouthfuls before somepony took it away from me.
Whoa! Powerful stuff!
Whoa whoa whoa there, big guy!" called out Rainbow. "Be careful!"
"Sorry," I said, coughing a little as the burning hit my throat. "That stuff is great!"
"Here," said Applejack, handing me the back of trail mix. "You might need a tiny cushion for that."
I took a handful and crunched on it thoughtfully. Nope. It wasn't trail mix, it was oats. Pure oats. The flavor wasn't too bad, but it still felt weird eating raw oatmeal.
Needs milk. And raisins. And lots of brown sugar.
While I still held the bag, I began to feel a familiar disorientation. Someone was leaning the world on me. And I didn't want to fall off. I took another handful and passed it on.
I need to stay away from more of that stuff. At least for a little while.
The topic then came up that they should tell stories. Rainbow, after another swig, jumped up, swayed, and then began the tale of The Olden Pony.
"Oh no, not that one!" cried Rarity. "You always do it so... so..."
"Great?" replied the psychedelic pony.
"Well, yes. And that's what makes it even more scary."
Rainbow turned and winked at me.
"Means I must be doing something right."
I smiled a bit and nodded, still a bit unsure of how I wanted to respond to her. With that, she began.
Time passed, and the story went on.
Almost right away, Fluttershy leaned into me heavily. As the tale continued, her hands crept up and soon I found myself snuggled like a large teddy bear. Glancing down from time to time, I could see her eyes were either wide open or shut tight. I put my hand gently around her, unconsciously playing with her mane.
While this was going on, the jug was getting passed around. For reasons that had absolutely nothing to do with fear, I took a couple large swigs as the night went on.
I just need to calm my nerves. I mean, this is kids' stuff. Right?
A twig broke somewhere in the woods behind me. Sweat began to trickle down my neck.
Eventually, Rainbow brought it to a tense conclusion.
"Who's got my rusty horseshoe?" Rainbow asked, in her creepy imitation of The Olden Pony.
The silence was long and uncomfortable. No one spoke. My arm around Fluttershy had gone to sleep long ago while she was practically vibrating against me in fear. I barely registered her presence; I was as tense as a spring.
Suddenly, Rainbow pointed and screamed, "You do! "
Disaster struck.
"Aaaaaaaaaaaargh!"
I felt something grab me and haul me backwards over the log where I was sitting. The something was screaming in a note so high that it made capillaries burst in my brain. At the time I was certain that I hadn't wailed in terror. All I knew was that I was smashed hard into the dirt, I was suddenly facing the sky, and a mass of writhing limbs, like snakes, were swirling above me. My brain was struggling to comprehend the situation, but it had a severe, alcohol induced handicap.
After several hands reached down to help, and a few giggled explanations, I realized what had happened.
At Rainbow's final accusation, Fluttershy had screamed and then tried to stand up and run away. Unfortunately she was still holding on tight to me, so what resulted was her lifting me bodily in the air, toppling over backward, and suplexing me over the log. I had screamed "like a little filly" as soon as my feet left the ground.
Ah, that's why I'm so dizzy. Must've hit my head.
"You sure did!" laughed Pinkie Pie.
Uh oh. When I drink too much I tend to lose my inner monologue.
"You're inner whatsit?"
"Ah. I see."
I tried to adopt a knowing look, like a sage listening to his pupil. Pinkie Pie giggled. I'm sure I pulled it off well.
Fluttershy kept mumbling apologies and there were many compliments to Rainbow for her animated story telling. Eventually the ponies began to dispurse, going off to sleep away the effects of the cider. I, however, felt perfectly in control of all my faculties. Some small inner voice tried to warn me that this was clearly not the case. But I knew I was wrong.
Wait. If I'm wrong, then... Wait...
Before long, it was only Fluttershy and myself. She still leaned into me and her head was down. Whether from embarrassment, the cider, or the lingering dread from the story, I couldn't be certain. I tried to reach up and scratch her head, but that particular arm was still tingling from lack of blood flow.
"Fluttershy?" I whispered. " 'r you okay?"
She nodded. "But," she said in a quiet, trembling voice, "Could you, that is, would you, um, walk me back to my tent?"
" 'm sure ah can manash that."
"What?"
I held up halting finger and took a moment to settle myself.
"Absolutely."
"Oh. Thank you."
She reached down and held my hand. At least it looked like she did since that hand still needed some time to feel anything. I tried to squeeze back in response. She led me to where her tent was set up, which seemed to take forever. How many turns had we made? Why were there so many trees around us? I was so confused. Suddenly Fluttershy halted.
"Oh no."
The quiet whisper sent chills of sobriety down my spine. It partially worked.
"What's wrong?"
"I, uh, I think I'm a little turned around."
"Oh.
Shit."
Author's Note
More to follow very soon. I had to cut this "short" as it was getting too long. The next part deserved its own chapter.
And thanks to everyone for their patience. You're all ajoy with your encouragement. Hope you enjoyed our little escapade.
EDIT: For those who saw it before, sorry I forgot to change the chapter name. *facepalm*
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What do you mean, "friend?"
Chapter 9) Earthy Honesty and Temporary Insanity
After some deliberation on where to start my job search, I decided I'd start at Sweet Apple Acres. I'd never worked on a farm, but I loved the outdoors and physical work always appealed to me. So I figured that's where we'd head first.
Fluttershy kept on asking me if I was sure, and that it was really not a problem if I didn’t pay her back. I knew she would see it that way, but I just had to pay it back. It didn't feel right otherwise. I don't get things for nothing. No debts should be owed. End of discussion, in my mind.
We came down the little road into the huge farmland of Sweet Apple Acres. It was invigorating to take it all in: the fields and orchards that stretched out for what looked like miles, the smells, the simple beauty of the barn and house, and that same funny desire within me to go and explore every nook and cranny like a child in a giant’s playground. Was that new or was it something dormant within me - sleeping and waiting to come to life like an old dream?
-Only if you’re a child. Grow up.
Oh shut up! I can’t be getting worse now.
-No, you’re seeing the truth! It’s not all sparkles and smiles and “the power of friendship.”
Not now. Not now. Not now.
This continued. My worsening condition had finally reared its head in broad daylight. My mind ran around in circles of circular thinking: when the next depressing argument was put down, another took its place; never ending. And somehow this whole inner dialogue was dimming the beauty around me. What seemed bright was becoming grey, though the colors never changed. Places to explore turned to places where I would need to work. Apples to throw to a friend suddenly looked like product to be moved for a business. This was real life. Only a tiny part of my conscious mind saw what was happening, the rest was accepting it. This took perhaps ten seconds of real time.
“It really is beautiful this time of year, don’t you think, Brendon?”
The happiness of that voice snapped me back to where I was. My mind heard her, contemplated it, and somehow saw what she saw. Glancing at her, I could see Fluttershy’s expression and she seemed to be trying so hard to cheer me up, and how could I not?
Where was I? Where did I go?
Even then, smiling and basking in the beauty of the landscape around us, I took for granted that there was no response in my head.
Applejack came out of the barn, sweat glistening on her bare arms. Today her attire was denim shorts, short sleeve flannel shirt, and Stetson hat (I mean, different brand, but...come on, it really was). Today her shirt was tied under her chest, revealing a well toned midsection.
Well, damn son, ain't she gonna make some stallion real happy some day. Why did I think that in a southern accent?
Applejack took off her hat, wiped the sweat from her brow, and exclaimed in a huge smile: "Howdy! What brings ya'll out here on this fine mornin'?"
Fluttershy stepped forward with a wave. "Hi Applejack! Well, Brendon was looking to see if you...umm…" She trailed off at the way Applejack was eyeing her in her new outfit. Fluttershy glanced at me with a pleading look, her ears pulling back.
"I was wondering If you need any help around the farm? I'm looking to find a job since I'm going to be here for a while."
Her eyes lingering a few seconds on Fluttershy, Applejack turned to me with a polite but confused look on my face.
"That is mighty fine of you to offer your help like this, sugar, but...are you sure you want to be workin' so soon?"
That completely stopped me in my tracks. "What do you mean?"
Applejack smiled apologetically. "Now don't get me wrong! My brother, Big Mac, and Ah could always use a hand to get some stuff done around here, but…" Here her face softened. "...are you alright?"
-She's saying you're not good enough. She's trying to be nice while she rejects you.
Really? No. No.
Fluttershy, seeing my face, put a hand on my shoulder. "What do you mean, Applejack?"
Applejack took her hat off, looked at it in her hands, then looked up while she played with the brim with her fingers. “Well, it’s just that, Brendon, you just lost...everything. If Ah was you Ah'd want to take some time off and settle down a bit before gettin’ myself all busy like. Ah mean...you know what Ah mean?”
-You’re too damaged to help anyone else.
I looked down at the ground. Dark clouds seemed to come overhead, though the sun beat down on my brow.
Just then, Applejack snapped her fingers and flipped her hat back on her head with a gleam in her eye.
“Ah know! Let’s all take a campin' trip! In two days it'll be the weekend an' goin’ on a little weekend vacation could be just the thing!"
-They're sending you away.
"And we'll all come with you!"
"Really?" I couldn't hide my joy.
"Yeah! Let me finish up one more thing, and then Ah'll head out and we can get the word around to the girls."
"Oh, that's wonderful!" Fluttershy clapped her hands and gave a little hop with a flutter of her wings. Her skirt came up just a bit and just enough.
They were green. Pale green. I tried hard not to sigh in contentment.
Wait. Why did she change panties? Was that what she was doing back in the house?
Applejack nodded at Fluttershy and started giving her a Look again.
"Yeah, Fluttershy, Ah need to ask you: what in tarnation are you wearin'?"
Fluttershy became a deer in the headlights.
"Wh-what's wrong?"
"Oh, nothin's wrong . It's just...not normally somethin' Ah'd expect to see on you. Maybe Rarity…"
"Oh, well, Rarity made it for me a while ago and I just thought...it'd...be nice...for today."
"Mmmmhmmm." She turned to me. "And what do you think about it, Sugar?"
Shit.
"I think she looks good in it."
Applejack gave a wry smile. "Yep, Ah bet you do." She then turned back to Fluttershy. “Hey, Ah'll go tell Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie. Would you mind tellin’ Rarity?”
“Sure thing, Applejack. I’ll also fly over to the hospital and see if there’s been any change in Twilight.”
“Great! Hey, Brendon! Help me move a few things back here and then we can get started with plannin' our campin' trip!”
“Sure thing!”
Applejack turned to Fluttershy. “You best get goin’.’”
“You-you don’t need my help?”
“Nope, got a big, strong stallion to help me. You just get along, now.”
“Oh. Alright. Good-bye, Brendon!”
“See you later, Fluttershy!”
Fluttershy’s wings began to beat, and I realized she was about to lift off. Up into the air. Above me.
I quickly turned away before she flew off.
Applejack was staring at me. Without taking her eyes off me, she pointed.
“There she goes.”
“Yep.”
“You gonna turn and wave?”
“Nope.”
“You sound like my brother. Why not?”
“...politeness.”
“That’s what Ah need to hear.” She smiled. “C’mon in and give me a hand.”
Inside the barn were crates and crates of apples. Applejack motioned me over to a couple by the door and we each picked up an end and began stacking them with the rest. They were pretty heavy, but with the two of us we made good time.
“So...Brendon. (Okay, 1-2-3, lift! ) What do you think of our little Fluttershy?”
“Hmmm? What do you mean? She’s been very kind and has, well, pretty much welcomed me with open arms. I guess you all have, really. I still can’t get over it all.”
“Aw, don’t worry about it, sugar. One day Ah hope you’ll see that’s just how we are. But what Ah’m really askin' for is how you feel about Fluttershy. You like her?”
I think I practically spit the next syllables out. “Wh-b-b-bu-I...ummm...th-th-at is...f-f-f-f-...I...hang on.”
Applejack looked at me with a kind, yet very amused, smile.
“Take your time,” she said, not unkindly.
“Okay. I like her. She’s shown herself to be a good friend. One of my best, I guess I would say. I mean, I’ve known her for only a few days but she cares about me, she wants to know me, and I like being around her.”
“Just a friend? (Put this one up top.)”
I was caught and I couldn’t look Applejack in the face and lie to her. I kept on thinking of how she had said she held the element of honesty. Maybe she had an internal lie detector? This world was so different that I refused to discount the possibility.
“Oooh, I don’t know!” I blurted out. “I think I’d like to be more - no, that’s not true. I’d love to be more than just friends but I...I can’t be sure she feels the same.”
I’m an idiot. I actually believe this, and I can’t help it!
“Whoa, there, darlin’. Maybe you’re not as familiar with our little yellow bundle o' kindness, but let me tell you somethin’. Ah have never seen her wear anythin’ like that for the years I’ve known her. And the way Ah’ve seen - the way we’ve all seen - her stick next to you has got us all talkin’. In a good way, Ah mean. She carried on somethin’ fierce when you fell over back at Twilight’s place, and we all chucked it up to Fluttershy just carin’ so much, like she always does. But this is different. Ah think she’s really takin’ with you. Don’t second guess yourself.”
“But...I mean...it’s the third day I’ve known her. This just seems...so easy.”
“Brendon, sometimes the best things can come that way. Ah know first hand how Ah’ve made things harder when Ah wasn’t going the right way. When Ah did, and accepted what other people were tellin' me, Ah found the way Ah needed to go was the easiest. Yeah, that’s not how it always is, but this sounds like it might be.”
“You’ll need to tell me more about that at some point.”
“Well, Ah have a hard time askin’ for help.”
“Ah. Yeah, I know a lot about that.”
“Heh, Ah ’ll keep that in mind. But let me leave you with one last thing. She’s never shown a ton of interest in a stallion before. I mean, not like a special somepony. Not in a Hooves and Hearts day kind of way.”
“Uh...what?”
“I’ll tell you later. Anyway, when you was out cold, we noticed that all of a sudden, she can’t stop talkin’ about you. And now she’s dressin’ up all pretty and...well...it's like she’s tryin’ to get somepony’s attention. Get my drift?”
“Yeah. Yeah I do. I mean, she looks really good.”
“Hard for you to look away, from the way Ah see it.”
“...uhhhh…”
“No worries, Sugar. (Put this one down here). Now, that’s the last one. You run along and see about lettin’ Spike know about the campin' trip. And…” Here she put an arm around my neck and gave me a playful headlock and noogie. “...I may think you’re a nice guy, and all, but Ah’ll still be keepin’ my eye on you. Got it, stud?”
“Ow, ow, ow! Yeah I got it!” I said, laughing.
“Good! Now get on out of here! Ah gotta’ take a bath and get goin’.”
“Thanks, Applejack. Really. And for being honest with me.”
“Ah don’t know any other way to be. Lyin', for me, actually hurts. Ask the rest of my friends. They’ll tell you Ah can’t lie for hill o’ beans.”
I laughed. “I’ll keep that in mind.”
"Oh! And one more thing! Don't worry about us plannin' the trip, Ah just said that to get us to talk alone. Pinkie, Rainbow, and myself'll take care of all the stuff we'll need and where we'll be goin'."
"Oh good! I've camped before, but I never planned one. But, man, I love roughing it in the great outdoors."
"Good to hear! Ya'll take care now!" She paused briefly and then shouted, “Oh! And Spike will probably be in the library!”
And with that I ran my sleeve over my forehead and headed back to Ponyville, a smile on my face and hopefully a little wiser. The sky was beginning to cloud over a bit, but it still looked bright to me. So bright and promising.
* * *
Fluttershy was practically beaming when she alighted in front of Rarity’s shop. A weekend vacation! It’d be so much fun and it’d be a chance for Brendon to experience a good time with all of her good friends. And...with her.
Wait. This was odd. Usually Fluttershy would be shuddering at the thought of going into a dark...creepy...scary forest. And now that these thoughts crept in, she immediately began having second thoughts of going. Fear threatened to push much of her reasoning right out of her mind.
But there was no time to think about that anymore, she was about to open Rarity’s door. It was locked. It was then that she noticed a closed sign. And it looked like there was some new woodwork done around the edge of the door. What was wrong? Fluttershy knocked, very gently.
“Rarity? Um, it’s me. Fluttershy.”
“Go away! I simply can’t let you in to see me like this!” The voice was slightly muffled and not at all near the door. She also sounded completely frazzled. Fluttershy knew that voice would come out nearly every time she’d heard Rarity say something like: “I simply can’t ,” or “Do I have to?” or “Uuuuuugh.”
“But Rarity, I have some good news! Please let me in? I mean, if you want. You don’t have to. I guess.”
“Wait. Is that...human with you?” Was that hope in her voice?
“What, Brendon? Oh no, he’s not with me. It’s just me.”
“Oh! Well, in that case, give me a moment. I’ll let you in.”
With a surprising amount of loud clicks, the door swung open, Rarity’s glow clearly visible around the door handle. Fluttershy carefully came in, with no Rarity in sight.
“Um, where are you?”
“In here!” came the call. It seemed to be coming from Rarity’s room. "Are you sure there’s no one with you?”
“Oh yes. No one else.”
“Ooooooh! I can’t believe what happened yesterday! I'm SO embarrassed, I could just die !”
Fluttershy came into the immaculately decorated bedroom of Rarity. If it was all you ever saw of Rarity, you’d think she was one of the richest ponies in Ponyville, but really it was that she liked her comforts just right. There were a lot of things that Rarity liked just right. But when it came to a pony she knew needed help, she was incredibly generous. Rarity sat at her makeup desk, her head in her hands, her normally groomed hair a mess around her shoulders.
“I’m so sorry, Rarity. Is there anything I can do?”
“Oh, I don’t know. I simply Don’t Know , darling! How can a pony like me recover from the shame?”
“Oh, I’m sure it’s not all that bad. Besides I have some good news.”
“One moment, darling. A girl needs to get some things off her chest. I simply must share some of this with you. Or else how would you know of the horrible experience I’ve had?”
She turned around and looked at Fluttershy. Mascara had run down her face from tears. She looked startled when she took in Fluttershy’s appearance?
“Fluttershy…! You’ve...never worn that outfit before!”
Her face getting warm, and fighting the desire to turn away and hide behind a wardrobe, Fluttershy commented, “Well...you don’t always wear mascara.”
“Oh, but it’s perfect for the struggling damsel. I thought it completed my image.” She said this so matter-of-fact that Fluttershy felt stupid for saying anything. Rarity surely knew far more about fashion than she, even when sobbing her eyes out. “Anyway, what finally made you break that out? You look simply adorable and alluring to the passing stallion, I’m sure! Who is it? Who's the lucky stud?”
Fluttershy felt herself go beet red. “Oh-well-that is-I-um-oh my ! It’s...um...it’s nothing really. Just thought I’d...get it out…’cause...I wanted to…” Her voice trailed off.
Rarity tilted her head and narrowed her eyes at her yellow friend. Then her eyes opened wide and she smiled as she pointed at Fluttershy.
“That...man ! The one I made a fool of myself in front of. That...man ly man .” Her hands came up to her cheeks and she swung her face from side to side, a big goofy grin on her face like a young filly with a crush.
“Um. Are you still…?”
“In heat, darling? Oh I think I still have some lingering hormones going crazy. I can’t believe he set me off, of all ponies! It should go away before tomorrow morning. It’s why my shop is closed. I can’t take the chance of...going off again.”
“I think I heard something about what happened yesterday…”
“That Rainbow Dash ! She told you, didn’t she?”
“Um, not...exactly.”
“Well it doesn’t matter. You know now. I completely lost myself like some little school filly, only worse . But he had such a...mmmmm!” She ran her hands through her hair in frustration. “I couldn’t help myself! I was all over him. I wanted him so badly! I thought I had him cornered, that there was no chance he’d be able to resist me. It was obvious he was feeling...something too. That dazed look in his eye! I nearly had him. And then…Ooooh! I can’t believe he left me!”
“I’m...I’m sorry you feel hurt, Rarity.”
“Hurt? No! I’m positively baffled he had the kind of strength to leave me when I was just insane with lust! His morals must be so cultured. I mean I was desperate . I...I bared my...my soul to him. He even broke down my door when I tried locking him in! That’s why I had to get all those new locks.”
“Didn’t you, um, have just one lock before?”
“Oh, well, I simply must up my security in case some crazed stallion comes barging in here.”
“Or out?”
“Or out ! Yes! Exactly!” Rarity was up and pacing at this point. Her train of thought and speech just couldn’t be stopped.
“And now , how can I face him? Or anyone once they hear I threw myself at Brendon like a mad mare! He’ll think I’m a lust crazed lunatic .”
“Um, actually, he blamed himself for it, at first. He was really sorry. But then I explained how being in heat works, and he calmed down. I’m sure he understands that it’s just something that...can happen. I mean, you’re not the first to...um...have a moment with a stallion when you’re...I mean...like that.” Fluttershy was having a hard time talking about this subject.
“He blamed himself? Well...I could almost see how he might. Any mare would love to have someone with a huge...throbbing...package like that man ! And the smell of him! Ooooh! I can’t think of it right now!”
Suddenly, she lunged at Fluttershy and grabbed her by the blouse. Fluttershy could feel her midriff exposed up to the bottom of her bra and very briefly contemplated how short her outfit really was. There was a fire in Rarity’s eyes.
“I touched it! My hand was in his pants ! Ooooh, it was amazing! No stallion has a shape like that!” She started to rant, almost to herself. “I think he’s a breast lover. He simply couldn’t keep his eyes off the girls once I brought them out for display. I could feel his need to just grab them and-and-kiss them. Uuugh! And whispering in his ear just drives him wild . I could feel him shiver against me. And-and-and-and-”
Fluttershy couldn’t help herself and loudly blurted out, “Wh-what was it like?”
“What was what like, deary?”
“His...umm...his...thing.”
“Ooh, I’ve been thinking about it since yesterday. I even sketched it!” Rarity ran over to where a small stack of papers with pencilled drawings on them and practically threw them at Fluttershy. They fluttered into the air. When Fluttershy grabbed one, she saw it looked like some bizarre blueprint for a new set of clothes. But the measurements were next to a...very detailed outline of what must’ve been the man’s erect penis. Fluttershy openly stared, contemplating the shape and the size. She didn’t know if that was normal size or bigger than a stallion’s. At least, it was an idea of what it looked like. It was rather different than what she remembered from health class.
Rarity went back to pacing up and down and around her bed. Fluttershy sat down and wasn't even looking at her friend as she sifted through the papers. Each one had a different angle. Rarity must have gotten a pretty good view, or at least a good feel for it. For one of the few times in her life, Fluttershy felt jealousy build up inside of her like a glowing ember. Why couldn’t that have been me?
“Oh I know why he left! It wasn’t because I wasn’t good enough, that couldn’t have been it. Unthinkable, really! He was too much a gentleman to take me...to...ravish me when I was out of my mind. Or there must be somepony else.” She stopped pacing, causing Fluttershy to look up. Rarity was standing rigid still, her head slowly turning to stare at Fluttershy with wide open eyes. There was a sudden twitch in one of them.
“The way he looked at those photos...why didn’t I see it before?”
“Uhhhh...maybe I should go.”
Without thinking, Fluttershy made a break for the door.
“NO! WAIT!”
Rarity was a blur of white and purple as she flung herself at the door, blocking the exit. She looked wild and Fluttershy felt sure she was about to tackle her to the ground. But then her face slowly softened, and a look of genuine concern came over her face.
“Oh, Fluttershy, I’m so sorry !”
She fell forward onto Fluttershy’s shoulder, threw her arms around her, and sobbed. Fluttershy was frozen, not sure how to reciprocate and then realizing she couldn’t because her hands still clenched the drawings that she had been looking at. She simply stood there, arms out, face forward, her eyes looking over at her friend who seemed to have suddenly broken down.
“I-I-I-I-*sniff* I didn’t m-m-m-m-mean to try and t-t-take your special somepony! Guh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-haaaaa! I’m such a terrible frie-he-heh-hehh-heeeend!”
“Oh no, no, no don’t talk like that, Rarity. You’re a very...good friend. It’s not your fault Brendon set you off like that. It’s no one’s fault.”
“B-b-b-but if I had just thought for a moment and stopped myself after I first bumped into his...or if I had never had him come in at all! I didn’t mean to do this to you! Please forgive me!”
“O-of course I do, Rarity! It’s okay! There there, now.” She patted her friend’s head with one wing, intent on never opening her hands until she got home. Rarity stepped back, wiping her eyes. Fluttershy quickly put her hands behind her back, smiling innocently.
Rarity sniffed. “Thank you, Fluttershy. That means a lot. By the way, what was the good news?”
“Oh. That. Well Applejack thought it’d be a good idea to go on a camping trip on the day after tomorrow, seeing as it’s the weekend and that’d it’d help Brendon deal with the fact that...well...he’s never going to see his home again. I don’t think he’s really come to terms with that. He was looking for work to keep himself busy today.”
“Work? Like a job? Oh the poor thing, he should take some time off. Put up his feet and relax for a week or two.”
“I think you’re right. Any way, I should get going and...pack.”
“Oh my word! I’ll need to get all my things together! And poor Brendon! He needs some outdoor clothes! I know just what he needs.” With that, she flew past Fluttershy and headed to her desk where she began to sketch frantically. “Let’s see, he’ll need boots, a jacket, a hat, and -”
“Well, I’ll just see myself out. See you later, Rarity!” Fluttershy was grinning madly as she quickly walked out the door, hands still hidden behind her back, and then practically rocketed into the sky once she stepped outside. Well, rocketed at Fluttershy speeds, anyway. Five minutes later she turned completely around. She’d been going the wrong way while staring at the papers in her hands.
“Oooh, my . I’m such a naughty mare. I’m such a bad mare. I can’t believe I just did that. What’d the others think of me if they knew? What would Brendon think?”
This last bit derailed her train of thought completely, crashed it, and killed many passengers. All of a sudden she was thinking very different thoughts. And she was planning .
“Wh-what if I went through my closet? Oh, but that’s not enough. I’ll have to get a message to her...and then it’s be just wonderful if we could share the same tent and-and-OH, maybe there’s a book about this sort of thing in Twilight’s library! Yay!”
She did a tiny loopdeloop in the air, all the while contemplating the potential joys of the coming weekend.
Author's Note
Uh oh. What is happening?
More importantly, there may now be a bit more of a wait for the next few chapters. My short attention span - Oooo! Something shiny! - demanded I get this all out ASAP, while my hands were yelling at me for more story to write down. So I have gaps to fill and pages to pour over so that you all get more of my best.
(HA! Best? This is my one and only! )
Hope these three rapid fire chapters were enjoyable! You are all great!
