Chapters All's Fair in Love and War
Chapter 1: A Night of Solace
With careful, measured steps, Princess Luna stalked through the palace in the darkness of night. She avoided the thestral guards at every turn, finding that even with their stronger sense of hearing compared to their Equestrian brothers, she was easily able to sneak under their radar. As she made her way from her observatory to the lone hallway connecting her room with her destination, she swiveled her ears back and forth, searching for any indication that she was being followed. Once she was clear of the observatory and in the palace proper, her ears flicked forward, detecting the sound of incoming hoofsteps, armed with heavy sabots.
Luna quickly unfurled her wings and with one powerful, yet nearly silent flap, reached the tall ceiling of the castle hallway. Her horn ignited in a deep blue hue and rendered her almost completely invisible to the naked eye within seconds. She shot out her legs to the walls to hold herself up and looked down just in time to see a pair of thestral guards patrolling the hall, a quiet conversation between them echoing through the empty hall.
"I just don't see the point. We already have a princess of the day and of the night. What's a third princess going to control exactly?" One of the guards, Sabre Spear, if Luna's memory was accurate, said.
"Not just one more princess. Crescent Peek from the Day Guard told me that the princesses are discussing a fourth princess as well. Something about that student of Princess Celestia's that destroyed Nightmare Moon or something. From what I heard, they're gonna be the princesses of Love and Friendship or something." The other guard, Quill Point, replied.
"There's gonna be too many princesses to guard at this rate." Sabre shook his head.
Luna watched them as they passed under her, completely unaware of her presence.
Hmm... if my night guards already know what Tia and I are planning, then gossip must spread more quickly around the castle than we predicted... We must be careful not to let too much else out, lest they reveal something classified to somepony without clearance. She thought, her brow furrowed as the guards left through the hallway.
With the coast clear for the moment, Luna dropped from her hiding spot, flapping her wings just once more before landing on the ground with a quiet *clop*. She canceled the spell keeping her invisible and proceeded toward her destination. She found few guards along her route, allowing her to make much quicker time. Within a few minutes, she was standing outside her sister's door.
As the dark princess stared up at the imposing frame, she carefully knocked on the large wooden door. The sound echoed in the empty hallway, making her ears snap back against her skull. She quickly looked left and right for any prying eyes, thankfully finding nothing before the door creaked open.
Luna looked into the now open doorway to find none other than her sister standing there, as beautiful and majestic as she ever remembered her. Her pristine white coat, neatly groomed and cleaned to have just the right shine in the pale moonlight, her soft flowing mane, which largely reminded her of sherbet ice cream, and her gentle magenta eyes, giving a view of the most generous soul she'd ever know, made Luna's knees weak. She allowed a soft smile to grace her face as took her sister in for what felt like the first time in years.
"You're late." Celestia teased, her voice smooth as silk as it caressed Luna's ears.
A smirk found its way onto Luna's face immediately, "Well my guards were doing their jobs, after all. Not like it's as easy to sneak around the palace at night as compared to the day, sister." She teased.
Celestia chuckled, "I'll have you know that my guards do their very best."
"I should hate to see their worst then." Luna snickered.
"Oh har har..." Celestia relented, before her eyes softened again, "Are you sure nopony saw you?"
Luna beamed, "Absolutely. The guards just had their shift change, and I instructed them in the evening briefing that neither of us were to be disturbed the entire night. We have four hours until the next shift change and I can sneak back to the observatory."
"Perfect. Although... We could avoid all this sneaking around and such if you'd just teleport into my room. It's not like the guards will monitor inside while I'm expected to be sleeping." Celestia suggested.
"That's true... but this is more fun, is it not?" Luna grinned.
"Heh, I suppose. Now, come inside, won't you? It would be a shame for a guard to see you standing outside my doorway and all your hard 'sneaking' to go to waste." Celestia chuckled.
Luna took the hint and entered Celestia's room, the door closing softly behind her with a quiet *click*. Once inside, her eyes lingered on her sister's form for just a moment before drifting to the rest of the room. A trail of roses led the way to Celestia's massive, soft bed. Finely woven purple silk sheets covered the bed, bringing a smile to Luna's face as she imagined the feeling of the silk against her hooves and coat. The fireplace behind the bed crackled with warmth and light, bathing the room in a gentle orange glow and casting flickering shadows across the floor.
Just as Luna stepped forward, a white wing stuck out in front of her, halting her advance. She cast a curious look at her sister, only for a blush to cover her face as she watched Celestia slowly saunter over to the bed. The larger mare casually laid down on the sheets, taking her sweet time to roll over and expose her teats and bits of her marehood to her sister as she found the most sensual pose she could.
Laying on her side, her head resting on her hoof, and her legs spread just wide enough to give her sister a clear look at her winking sex, Celestia brought her free hoof to her lips and blew a kiss. Luna stumbled back a step, her cheeks burning as she drank in the view of her sibling so shamelessly showing off her body. On quickly weakening legs, Luna walked over toward her sister, finding herself at the edge of the bed in mere moments.
"Well?" Celestia teased.
"Faust I want you so much." Luna whispered, her own sex winking desperately.
"Well then come and take me."
Luna needed no second invitation, and clambered onto the bed. She eagerly pressed her lips against her sisters, her tongue instantly rushing out to dance with Celestia's. Luna's hooves quickly grabbed onto Celestia's cheeks as she turned her head to deepen the kiss, soon finding their tongues lashing against each other in a passionate display of love that only drove her lust even higher.
They pulled apart slowly, leaving a thin line of saliva connecting their lips. Both breathing heavily, they separated only enough for Luna to turn her body around and bring her muzzle to Celestia's teats. Without a moment of hesitation, the younger princess latched onto the closest teat like it was her mother's and she was a newborn foal, earning a soft moan from her sister in the process. Luna kissed and licked the prickly flesh, along with the mound that supported it while Celestia ignited her horn and grabbed a hold of her sister's tail while she continued her assault on her teats.
Celestia gave a sharp tug on Luna's tail, forcing a cry of ecstasy to escape her lips as she paused her suckling. The sun princess licked her lips as she stared into her little sister's treasure, just between her legs and coated in the black of her cutie mark. The lips of her vulva parted quickly, allowing her cute pink clit to peek out again and again under Celestia's lustful eyes. It only took a moment for her to dive into the abyss , her lips quickly latching onto the engorged nub as it poked out again.
Luna immediately threw her head back and gasped as Celestia buried her muzzle into her pussy, and suckled at her clit. Waves of pleasure darted up her spine over and over again as she struggled to find air to fill her lungs when all she wanted to do was scream out in rapture. Luna slowly turned her gaze back to her sister as she lapped at her folds, juices dripping from her muzzle and into the bedsheets below. It took all of her willpower to not cum right then and there.
Stealing her resolve, Luna turned her head back to the treasure just before her and leaned down. Celestia's sex was unbelievably beautiful in a way that only an immortal goddess of the sun could be. Her perfect flanks, curved perfectly in all the right places, ended just at the soft, pinkish outer lips of her vulva, and the delicious pink deeper inside. Just as Luna leaned forward to have her taste, the pink nub of Celestia's clit poked out once more, prompting the night princess to take a moment of loving revenge.
Luna planted a kiss on Celestia's clit that instantly turned into a long, sensual suckling that forced the larger princess to quiver beneath her. Luna smiled to herself, even with her mouth practically filled with her sister's clit and juices. She sucked hard on the little bundle of nerves, forcing Celestia to pause and moan into her folds.
Not wanting to be outdone, the solar princess ignited her horn once more, and a similar golden aura formed inside the very pussy she was eating, only to fill her sister's folds with vibrations a moment later. Luna instantly released her clit and screamed in pleasure as her pussy clenched over and over again on a member that simply wasn't there. Celestia continued to suck on her clit, forcing her completely over the edge just a moment later, and a flood of her marecum rushed out into the older sister's eagerly waiting muzzle.
Stars danced about in Luna's vision as her entire body was overcome with rapture. Her legs quivered and her muscles tensed as wave after wave of sensual pleasure rippled up her spine and back down into her folds.
"Tia... " She moaned, her voice drifting from a low to high pitch as she came again and again.
The lunar sister eventually came down from her high, and collapsed onto her sister's belly. Luna's legs shook weakly with the force of her climax, and she struggled to lift her head up from her sister's teats after such a powerful orgasm. She slowly turned her head back around to see his sister swallowing down the last of her essence. Celestia licked her lips to clean off anything else she missed, although there was a fair amount of fluid still all over her face and dripping down her fur.
"No... fair..." Luna whined.
"Whatever do you mean, Lulu?" Celestia asked, innocently.
"You used... magic... you know that spell is my weakness." Luna pouted.
Celestia smirked, "Oh, I know. I just couldn't wait to hear your voice again. It's been so long since I've heard that beautiful range of yours when you climax. I suppose I just got a little carried away." She chuckled.
"Well... now I simply must make you climax as well... tis' only fair I get to hear your voice, after all." Luna grinned, pushing herself to her hooves, albeit shakily.
Celestia playfully rolled her eyes, "I suppose that is fair. By all means then, take me, dear sister."
Luna quickly ignited her horn and a phallic shaped apparition of magical energy appeared next to her only a moment later. Celestia raised her eyebrows in surprise for just a moment before the magical construct moved over to Luna's groin, just between her teats, and a strap emerged from behind it, latching onto her, just below her teats. A knowing smirk appeared on her face as the lunar princess stepped up between her spread hind legs and straddled her. The magical dildo came to a rest just between her teats, and Luna took her time rubbing the appendage against the sensitive mounds of flesh for a few moments before leaning in for another kiss.
Their lips caressed each other slowly and sensually as the lunar princess lined herself up with her sister's slit. Luna's tongue darted out to pry Celestia's lips open, allowing her access to her own once more. Just as their tongues made contact, Luna thrust her hips forward, penetrating deep into the larger alicorns dripping pussy. Celestia immediately broke the kiss and gasped as her eyes shot wide open from the unexpected intrusion.
Luna smirked, "Oh, I'm so sorry, dear sister. Did I forget to warn you?"
Celestia fixed her with a playful scowl, "Alright... I suppose I deserved that for cheating earlier."
"Indeed. Now, it's long past time I made you scream , dear sister." Luna purred, leaning down and drawing a long, slow lick up Celestia's horn.
The older alicorn shivered from the sensation, her lips trembling as she felt the tingling feeling of her sister's magical member deep in her folds. After a moment, Luna pulled back far enough to pull her hips back and thrust forward again, earning a small squeak of pleasure from Celestia as she was slightly rocked back on the bed.
In and out she thrust, the lunar princess keeping an ever watchful eye on her sister's face to gauge her reactions. On one thrust, her face grimaced, prompting Luna to change her angle slightly, earning a long, pleasureful moan in response. She kept her thrusts angled right at her sister's g spot, forcing her chest to heave as more and more pleasure was forcefully fucked into her snatch. Celestia's cheeks flushed pink as her clit winked out again and again against the top of the shaft Luna was fucking her with.
Luna bit her lip as she watched her sister moan and convulse beneath her, and the feeling of dominance she felt from fucking her brought a fire to her own loins that made her own clit wink out again and again. She glanced down at her magically strap on for a moment before an idea popped into her head, and she ignited her horn once more.
A moment later, another magical construct appeared just behind her winking sex, and plunged into her depths, making Luna groan in bliss as she fucked herself along with her sister. She synced her own dildo with her thrusts into her sister, adding extra force into her thrusts in the process, and drawing a long, loud moan from her sister. If her increased volume was anything to go off of, she was loving every second of it.
Celestia felt her end quickly coming for her, and she struggled to find the words as her sister pounded her pussy with a force only an alicorn could muster.
"Lu-Lulu... I'm close." Celestia moaned.
"As am I... Tia." Luna groaned.
"Let's finish... together." Celestia whispered, gently placing a hoof against Luna's cheek.
Luna paused in her thrusting, her cheeks flushed as she stared down into her sister's eyes. She only hesitated a second before a warm smile filled her face.
"I would love nothing more, sister." She replied.
Luna immediately redoubled her efforts and thrust into her sister even faster, and the magical dildo in her own sex thrust in and out of her just as fast. Luna and Celestia both panted for air as their bodies pressed against one another, sweat dripping from Luna's neck and onto the larger alicorn's belly. Celestia gasped and moaned with each thrust, her volume easily drowning out Luna's as the younger sister panted while thrusting away as hard as her hips could.
Celestia felt each thrust of the magical dildo press up against her cervix, and her g spot was hit nearly every time the medial ring slid over it, sending tingles of ecstasy up through her entire body. The dense cluster of nerves inside her labia fired off a sensory overload that drove her higher and higher toward rapture with each deep thrust from her sister. Celestia found that as much air as she breathed in, it was gone just a moment later as she heaved desperately for air amidst her moaning and screaming.
Luna felt her pussy convulsing over and over around the dildo she was fucking herself with. Her clit winked again and again, pressing against the medial ring of the magical construct as her folds were filled with each thrust. Her breaths came out as ragged panting while she continued to thrust away, her legs burning from the exertion. Sweat dripped from her brow and all over her body as she pushed herself harder and harder into her sister below.
Eventually, it became too much for either of them, and they finally reached their peaks. Celestia tipped over the edge first, her walls convulsing and contracting as marecum gushed out of her slit and past the magical dildo. She coated the bed, her tail, and all of Luna's belly and thighs as she screamed out to the heavens and her back arched. Every muscle in her body went rigid, forcing her to shiver and quiver in place as Luna continued to thrust into her for just a few more climactic thrusts.
Luna finally hit her climax as well, her pussy convulsing tightly on the dildo still inside it. Unlike her sister, hers was much more reserved, and she only grunted several times as her back arched with each wave of orgasmic bliss that passed through her from her sex all the way up to her ears and then back down again. Her winking pussy dripped marecum down onto the bedsheets below as she stood over her sister, gasping for breath as her muscled slowly relaxed.
After a few moments of riding the lightning, Luna cut out the spell she was maintaining, and the dildos disappeared. She immediately collapsed onto her sister as they both panted for breath. Celestia gladfully pulled Luna into a tight hug as they caught their breath together in the firelight. She could feel the younger alicorn's heart pounding against her chest as Luna hugged her back.
"Well... I can honestly say it's been a millennia since I've cum that hard." Celestia chuckled.
"Cum?" Luna inquired, an ear perking up as she was far too tired to lift her head.
"Oh it's a newer saying. It just means an orgasm, or a climax." Celestia explained.
"Hmm... cum. I like it." Luna smiled.
"Heh, I'll bet you do." Celestia replied, suppressing a snicker.
"Oh, har har. You're so full of jokes this evening, sister." Luna responded with a whinny of annoyance.
"I'm just teasing," Celestia dismissively waved her hoof, "It's been far too long since I was able to do so with you."
"I know... I have missed it... I've missed... this." Luna whispered, burying her muzzle into Celestia's chest tuft.
"As have I. I'd almost forgotten of your fondness for my teats and tuft." Celestia snickered.
Luna nuzzled her cheek against the soft, long white fur of her sister's chest while the larger alicorn softly cooed and planted small kisses on the top of her head. The exchange of affection continued for a few minutes before Luna finally pulled away, a thin strand of drool connecting her muzzle to her sister's chest for just a moment longer.
"I'd forgotten how soft your coat was. I was beginning to fall asleep there for a moment." Luna admitted, a sheepish smile on her face.
Celestia laughed, "I recall an article I read in the news a few years back, comparing the softness of materials in Equestria. Clouds won, but only because I declined to allow them to feel my tuft for comparison."
Luna chuckled, "I'm sure that our little ponies were devastated that they wouldn't be groping you for the sake of 'science'."
"Oh the poor dears were. However, as you recall, there's only one pony in the world that I love enough to let her drool all over my chest after an evening of passion." Celestia smiled warmly down at the smaller mare.
"Hmm... might this pony perhaps have some sort of power over a particular celestial object floating in the sky?" Luna teased.
"You know," Celestia began, wrapping her hooves around Luna's barrel and pulling her close enough for their muzzles to touch, "I think you just might know her." She said, planting a deep kiss on the lunar alicorn's lips.
They held the kiss for several moments as the flames from the fireplace crackled behind them, framing the scene in a hue of orange light and warmth. Celestia's hoof gently stroked against Luna's wing, forcing a shudder to run down her spine, while she played with her silky smooth ethereal mane with her other hoof. Meanwhile, Luna drew her hooves down Celestia's barrel, all the way down to her cutie marks, where she rubbed circles around the pair of flaming suns while her tongue danced with Celestia's.
Eventually, the kiss broke, and they pulled apart enough to look into each other's eyes once more.
"I truly have missed you, sister. More than I can ever put into words... I'm just so glad to have you back." Celestia whispered, her magenta eyes watering some.
"Tia... you have nothing to feel regret for. You did what you had to do... The fault was mine, clear as your day. If I had only listened to you and not let my jealousy get the better of me... we never would have been separated." Luna replied, her eyes misting slightly as well.
Celestia pulled her into a tight hug once more, "I promise I'll never let anything like that ever happen again. I won't ever let the darkness take you from me. I love you." Celestia whispered.
"I love you too, sister... more than I could ever describe. I'm just thankful that the elements allowed me to return to you at all." Luna replied, her voice also a whisper.
They pulled away once more, this time enough to fully separate and spread out more on the large bed.
"It seems we have created quite the mess in your chambers." Luna remarked, amusedly looking down at the still wet bedsheets. She ignited her horn, and the mess was suddenly transported to the far side of the bed, away from either of their bodies.
"Indeed. It seems that I'll have to request clean sheets from the maids tomorrow morning." Celestia chuckled, before a yawn escaped her lips.
"Are you feeling tired, sister? There's still quite some time before the next guard shift, but I can let you rest if you'd like. I know you have to raise the sun in just a few hours." Luna replied, stifling her own yawn.
Celestia smiled, " I appreciate that greatly, Lulu, but I would like to spend some more time with you, if you've nowhere to be for at least another hour. Besides, tomorrow all I have to do is raise the sun and conduct Day Court. It's a relatively easy day for me." She responded.
"I'm happy to stay with you as long as you'll allow." Luna replied, laying down beside Celestia once more.
They shared a brief nuzzle before Celestia spoke again, "So how has it been, resuming your duties as a princess?"
Luna sighed, "As much as I've missed our subjects, I don't believe I can say the same for them."
Celestia's brow furrowed, "What do you mean?"
"They fear me, Tia. Even after the elements freed me from the nightmare's curse, they still think that I'm... her . Even when I enter their dreams to help them, I seem to do more harm than good, at least... so far." Luna explained with another sigh.
"They'll come around. I know they will. I'm sure you'll see soon enough. You've no idea how many ponies adore the night sky and the princess who crafts it for them" Celestia comforted, offering a small nuzzle to the lunar princess.
"I hope you're right, Tia. I hope you're right."
Author's Note
Hey all! Can't begin to express how excited I am to finally be sharing this story with ya'll. I've been writing it for months now and we're finally here. It's gonna be a fun ride and I hope you all stick around until the end!
All's Fair in Love and War
Author's Note
Hey all, small announcement here. I'm writing these author's note's as I upload chapters, so I want to address a couple things from the first chapter. Firstly, thank you all so much for the feedback and getting the story featured in less than a day :D I am extremely thrilled to see that. Secondly, I want to make one thing clear about this story. It's meant to be a little silly here and there and have some more comedic themes that don't exactly line up 100% with reality sometimes.
Having said that, I really hope you guys enjoy the chapter and where the story goes from here. Sorry to make that whole thing a point on here, but I saw a lot of comments from last chapter that seemed to be judging the entire story off of one single chapter, and making assumptions about the direction the story is going to be taking, and I wanted to clarify my thoughts a bit.
Chapter 2: The Decision
Anon awoke with a tired groan as the sun's harsh light rays filtered into his home through the slit in the curtains. A beam of light centered right on his eyes, prompting them to blearily blink open, much to his chagrin. He lazily rolled over to the cooler side of his king sized bed, finding that the light no longer beamed straight into his retinas, and snuggled into his pillow just a tad longer.
The harsh beeping of his alarm clock instantly shattered any chance he had of falling back asleep, and he groaned loudly to himself as he pushed himself up to a sitting position. He smacked his lips a few times as his eyes fell on the blaring alarm, finding the time to read '7:00AM'. He slowly reached over, his joints popping in protest as he grabbed the alarm with his hand and promptly threw it at the wall, shattering it instantly.
"Was having a good fuckin' dream too." He mumbled.
Anon slowly looked over his room. The hardwood floors were covered in a thin layer of dust and a fair amount of bedsheets that had been tossed off the bed throughout the night. His bookshelf still had no books. Lastly, the mahogany desk under the window retained the stain of ink he'd spilt while attempting to quill a letter the night before. Anon sighed quietly before pushing himself out of bed and stepping toward the bathroom. He quickly brushed his teeth and stepped into the shower.
With a quick pull on the pull tab sticking out of the wall, heated rainwater poured down on him from the cloud hovering just a foot above his head. He spent the majority of the shower staring at the stone tile floor pattern that happened to look a bit like a cat chasing a kite, before lethargically washing his hair and finishing up. After toweling off and drying himself, Anon stepped into his massive walk-in closet in complete nudity.
Once there, he grabbed the only clothing on the rack; a pair of black slacks, a white dress shirt with a crimson tie, and a black overcoat. He pulled out the pair of black dress shoes and socks from the bottom shelf, and the lone pair of underwear. Anon set about dressing himself and eventually emerged from the closet, fully clothed in his attire.
"I need to get some new clothes... summer is brutal here." He said to no one in particular.
Anon walked over to the doorway, and exited the bedroom. He walked through the short hall to the central living room of his house, and descended the stairs. He ran his hand atop the exquisitely chiseled hoof-rail lining the stairs. The intricate patterns depicted a pegasus pulling a chariot filled with several other pegasai as they fired arrows and hurled spears at some unknown foes; all carved out of pure ebony.
As he reached the bottom of the stairs, Anon jumped down to the granite floor below, his dress shoes clacking nicely against the material as he stepped toward the kitchen.
Much like the staircase, every piece of furniture or décor in the kitchen was carved out of pure ebony, with a white granite floor filling the entire room. Anon made his way to the cupboard and looked inside, finding absolutely nothing.
"Huh."
He closed the door and opened the pantry instead, finding a lone box of Oat-flakes laying on its side with some of the oats spilt on the shelf.
"One of these days I'm gonna figure out which cabinet is which." He muttered as he grabbed the box and made his way to the island in the center of the kitchen.
Anon grabbed a bowl from the sink and poured the cereal until it was almost filled. Once he was satisfied, he set the box down and made his way over to the refrigerator. He peeked inside, finding only one carton of milk that was less than a quarter full. With a shrug, he grabbed the milk and poured it into his cereal, finishing off the carton.
"Note to self... add milk to the shopping list." He said as he pulled out a spoon.
Anon ate his breakfast in silence, only pausing to scratch an itch or gaze out the window for a moment. Once he was done, he set the bowl in the sink and made his way out of the kitchen to the living room. In the center of the room, a massive statue of solid gold, made to look like a unicorn mare casting a spell to destroy some kind of feral wooden wolf, greeted him with silence. There was a fireplace in the center wall, made entirely of obsidian, and dragon scales. A pleather couch curved around the fireplace, sitting atop a genuine polar bear fur rug.
Anon stepped past the statue and made his way to the lavish, intricately detailed mahogany door that stood at twelve feet tall. Highly detailed patterns lined the door, depicting the sun and moon, as well as magical runes patterning around the celestial bodies, and a silver tipped handle made of dragon bone.
As Anon opened the door and stepped out into the world, the door automatically closed behind him, the runes flashing red in the process. Anon gave a quick tug on the door to ensure it was locked, and when it refused to budge, he headed out into his courtyard. Aside from the marble fountain in the center of the walkway, Anon's courtyard was fairly spartan. Large fields of grass lined both sides of the front walkway, leading all the way to the gate.
As he made his way through the yard, Anon glanced over at the vineyard on the far side of his property, finding that the vineyard was in full bloom.
"I'll have to get all those grapes before they go bad and the whole thing dies." Anon said, shaking his head.
He soon arrived at his gate and pressed his hand against the flat panel on the front. The runes emblazoned on the silver and gold laced frame immediately burned to life, and the gate slid to the side, allowing him to exit. As Anon stepped out onto the sidewalk, he glanced down the street to see Canterlot Castle just a few miles away. The road leading straight to the impressive building was already lined with ponies of high social class, making their own ways there as well.
Anon checked his wrist for his watch, only to realize that he wasn't wearing one.
"God dammit... How'd I forget that? Better get there before I'm late." He muttered, his brow deeply furrowed in annoyance.
Anon hastily turned towards the castle and made his way toward the structure.
As Celestia sat upon her throne in the center of the Sun Court, she eyed the petitioner's line with a perfect poker face of reserved interest. Today, there were already well over two hundred ponies lined up and chatting amongst themselves as her secretary and guards arranged the first session of court. Celestia suppressed a yawn as she leaned over to the alabaster white unicorn sitting beside her.
"Raven, what time is it?" She asked, her tone pleasant and just loud enough to be heard only by the pony meant to hear it.
"It's eight thirty two, Princess." Raven replied.
"I see. How many ponies have shown for court so far?"
"We have two hundred and twelve in the room, and as of five minutes ago, another hundred and ninety six outside." Raven answered, eyeing the clipboard in her magical grasp.
Celestia's eyes widened ever so slightly, before narrowing more noticeably.
"There hasn't been this many ponies in for the opening of Day Court in over nine hundred years. I wonder what issues they could all have." Celestia pondered aloud.
"They have one , your highness." Raven coolly responded.
Celestia did a double take, "You mean they're all here for the same reason?" She asked.
"It seems so, your highness. They've signed all of their names for the same court case... well, almost all of them. Anonymous has also arrived, although he hasn't signed for any of the cases. He's simply signed that he wants to observe." Raven elaborated, detaching her eyes from the clipboard and looking over to Celestia.
"Who?" The sun princess asked, looking at Raven, squinting in confusion.
"Anonymous... t-the human, Princess?" Raven replied, looking up to Celestia, inquisitively, "The tall, biped stallion standing in the back of the room? He's at least twice as tall as everypony else." She continued, nodding toward the far side of the room.
Celestia gazed out over the crowd of ponies, her eyes falling on the only non pony in the group, at the end of the room. The creature named 'Anonymous' stood there, towering above everypony else around him. However, that was essentially the only thing that stood out about him. He wore a suit like every other stallion in the room, he had a small patch of barely kept, brown hair atop his head, and a pair of dark brown eyes to match.
"Anonymous... Anonymous... why does that name sound so familiar?" Celestia pondered, sucking on her lip as she looked down to her secretary.
"He's... the only one of his kind, Princess." Raven replied, continuing as she saw Celestia's head tilt ever so slightly, "He arrived here when Nightmare Moon returned. The spell that she used to break free of the moon caused a rift in our dimension and he was sucked into our world from his?" She explained.
Celestia gasped in recognition and shook her head.
"Oh yes, I remember now. Luna and I gave him a Lordship and a plot of land in the city to make up for him being ripped into our world. I seem to recall him being one of the more quiet and reserved types..." Celestia recalled, "Didn't I have Twilight and the school try to send him home?" She asked.
"Yes, Princess. They couldn't find a way to send him home without killing him though." Raven replied.
"Ah, I remember that now... That's quite unfortunate. I do hope he's adjusting well enough despite the circumstances." Celestia murmured.
"He seems to be getting along well enough." Raven shrugged.
"Why does he want to watch the court?" Celestia curiously inquired.
"Probably because he has nothing else to do. From the looks of him, that stallion could use a mare to guide him around and take care of him. He seems lost and particularly fragile, if those thin legs are anything to go off of." Raven surmised, eyeing Anonymous with a critical eye as he asked the guardsmare at the chairs in the back, where to sit.
"I see... Well, regardless we should focus on the task at hoof. Could you kindly begin the court procession. I do believe it's just about nine." Celestia replied, sitting just a smidge more upright.
"Of course, Princess." Raven responded, before turning her attention to the guardsmare sitting to her left, "The Princess is ready to begin Day Court." She said.
The guard nodded, before turning to address the gathered ponies still talking among themselves, "Attention! Day Court will now commence! Let us hear the first case of the day!" Her voice boomed throughout the hall, silencing everypony inside immediately.
The guardsmare turned back to Raven and gave her a nod.
"The first case will be Comet Star and... well, let's just say several parties." Raven explained.
The guard nodded and turned back to the crowd, "Comet Star! Please step forward!" She called out.
A butterscotch unicorn stallion with a finely trimmed mustache, and a neatly combed, rust colored mane, stepped to the podium in the center of the room. The rest of the ponies present, formed a crescent moon shape around the lone stallion as he cleared his throat and looked up to the Princess.
As Comet Star situated himself before her, Princess Celestia looked down at the stallion and adorned a motherly, if a tad forced, smile.
Oh... great. This stallion again. Celestia thought, forcing herself not to roll her eyes.
"Welcome, Comet Star. What troubles you, my little pony?"
"Good morning, Princess Celestia. First, I would like to start by saying that the sun is shining ever more radiantly with each new day. Truly, your power and beauty know no bounds." The stallion replied, his deep voice reverberating throughout the room. It was smooth, and warm, like honey on a pleasant day.
"You're too kind, Comet Star. Thank you for your kind words. It is truly an honor each and every single day, and I am more than pleased to hear how much you appreciate the sun." Celestia kindly responded, a grateful smile now on her face.
Ugh, Faust get a better pickup line. This has to be the hundredth time you've tried that one, you perv. She thought quietly to herself.
"You're very welcome, your highness. Now, as to the matter at hoof-" Comet Star began, gesturing over to the crowd of gathered ponies with his hoof, "-as you can see, there are many stallions here from all walks of Canterlot. Ponies of high prestige and nobility, whose names date back all the way to the founding of Equestria itself."
Celestia's eyes darted up to the gathered ponies immediately. For the first time since everypony walked in, she noticed that every single one of them were stallions. Her eyes widened slightly for a moment before she looked back at Comet Star.
They are all stallions... How peculiar.
"I see. I understand everypony here has arrived for the same reason." Celestia nodded.
Comet Star smiled, "Indeed, your highness. We've all arrived, eagerly awaiting your answer to the proposed stipulation of the Paired Sister Act of two hundred and sixty two ANM." He explained, looking up to Celestia expectantly while nods and words of affirmation echoed behind him.
"Pro...posed stipulation? Comet Star, I'm afraid I don't recall exactly what was written in that act, well over seven hundred years ago." Celestia replied, her eyes squinting in suspicion.
"Of course, Princess. I've brought a copy for you on just such a chance, that you might not have remembered exactly what was written all those years ago." Comet Star smiled, igniting his horn and levitating over a tightly wrapped scroll in his amber aura.
The guardsmare beside Raven quickly grabbed the letter out of the air with her magic and walked over to the princess. Celestia nodded in thanks before taking the scroll with her golden magic and unfurling it to reveal the Act within. As she read through the scroll, Comet Star continued.
"If you'll look at paragraph eight, in subsection five, you'll see the stipulation I'm referring to." He explained.
Celestia looked at the section in question, and her eyes immediately widened considerably.
"As you can see right there, your highness, the Act says that upon the return of your sister, Princess Luna, from her banishment to the moon for one thousand years, exactly one year and six months after she has had time to reacclimate to Equestria and retake her duties as a the Princess of the Night, you would choose one stallion to become your consort. It has been exactly one year and six months since Princess Luna's return, and we have all arrived to see who you will choose, Princess." Comet Star elaborated, finishing with a small bow as another round of affirmation surged through the hundreds of stallions behind him.
Celestia almost dropped the scroll held in her magic. "Please allow me a moment to discuss this arrangement with my secretary, Comet Star." She announced.
"Of course, your highness. We will wait patiently for your decision." Comet Star replied, grinning broadly at the sun princess.
Celestia looked down at the page again and again to confirm that her eyes weren't deceiving her, before looking over to Raven, finding her eyes glued to a large legal tome sitting beside her.
"Raven?" Celestia whispered.
Raven sighed quietly and closed the tome, "It appears that Comet Star is correct, your highness. Apparently when you signed that Act, you were still grieving over your sister's banishment and, to quell the literal sea of suiters all pining to be wed to you, you signed this act, essentially agreeing to marry the first stallion to catch your eye on this exact day." She explained, giving an apologetic head shake.
"Is there any way I can change my mind? It has been over seven hundred years since I wrote that. Certainly there must be some legal loopholes we can jump through." Celestia suggested, her eyes frantically darting all over her copy of the Act.
"I'm afraid... You've made this one pretty set in stone, Princess." Raven sighed again.
"What do you mean?"
Raven's horn illuminated in a white light, and the tome beside her immediately opened to the last page she was on. At the bottom of the page, there was a hoofprint made in what appeared to be a blackish, rust colored ink.
"You signed with blood, Princess. The runes in the law bind you by spells that I don't even know how to decipher. If I understand this stipulation right... It would strip you of your power as an alicorn, should you refuse." Raven explained, an apologetic look on her face as she eyed the writing on the page.
The blood drained from Celestia's face, and her usual pearl white coat took on a tone just a shade paler. She frantically looked over the page again and again, her heart pounding in her chest as she scanned for any discrepancies or easy outs that she might have missed.
"What if it was a marriage only for show? As in... I could marry a stallion here, and then nothing more comes of it. He would be compensated for his silence, and that would be the end of it." Celestia suggested, sending a pleading look Raven's way.
"Princess... these are Canterlot nobles... and you're the most powerful and beautiful mare in all of Equestria... I don't think anything could buy their silence. We both know that they'd want to flaunt the fact that they were in bed with royalty everywhere they'd go." Raven admitted.
Celestia leaned down until she was just whispering into Raven's ear. "Do you truly believe that? They would tell everypony about... Luna... and I?" She asked, the fear clear in her voice.
"I... I'm afraid so. Despite how amazing you are, and the things you do for all of us... you know as well as I do that they'd try to leverage that piece of information against you and Luna to get their way." Raven confirmed, a sad frown on her face as she looked down to the floor.
Celestia felt a pit form in her chest as her eyes fell to the floor between her and Raven. The pristine marble tiles held her gaze for a few moments before she slowly looked back up to the crowd of ponies still eagerly awaiting her decision. She glanced back and forth between each stallion, finding almost hungry looks being thrown back her way. As her eyes drifted from one side of the room to the other with increasing desperation, she saw a peculiar sight that made her pause.
Celestia's gaze focused on Anon as he sat in the guest seating at the very end of the room, his eyes curiously examining the situation in front of him with what she could only discern as slight concern. In that instant, a realization hit the solar princess and she turned back to Raven.
"Raven, does the Act specify that I have to choose a pony stallion?" Celestia inquired, her eyes baring intensely on the secretary.
Raven looked at the tome once more, her muzzle scrunched in concentration before she turned back to Celestia.
"No, Princess. The Act doesn't specify the species of the stallion you have to choose, but... are you sure that he's a better choice?" Raven asked, having already picked up on Celestia's plan.
"At this point, he's a known unknown. All of these stallions are known knowns. I'm not usually a betting mare, but at this point it's either lose, or maybe not lose. I think that makes him the best chance Luna and I have... Faust, she's going to kill me for this." Celestia replied, sighing quietly.
"Well... if you're sure, Princess. I'll do everything in my power to make sure he's ready for the role. Are you ready to announce your choice?" Raven pressed.
"I am. Thank you, Raven." Celestia answered. She took a deep breath, putting on her regal smile and calm façade in the process, and looked back at the crowd.
The gathered stallions and Anon looked up at the alabaster princess with a range of emotions. Some were nearly bouncing in place from the excitement, while others bore smug looks of superiority and confidence. In the back of the room, sitting all alone, Anon simply watched Celestia with a frown.
She's not really gonna pick one of these dicks to marry right now, is she? He pondered to himself.
Celestia cleared her throat, and addressed the crowd in her motherly, regal voice they all knew and expected from her.
"Comet Star, I thank you and all of the attending stallions for bringing this to my attention. Were it not for you, I certainly would have forgotten this Act that was signed well over seven hundred years ago when I was still coming to terms with the loss of my sister. I understand you all have most certainly been waiting for a long time to hear who I will choose, not just today, but certainly for most of your lives-" Celestia began.
"Heh. If that's not a backhanded compliment, then I don't know what is." Anon chuckled to himself.
"- and I certainly wouldn't deign to keep you all waiting any longer." Celestia continued, her eyes slowly drifting from one side of the crowd to the other, "Now, while you are all very handsome, charming, and downright beautiful stallions, unfortunately I can only choose one of you. Aside from that, my sister Luna will also have to approve of you later this evening when she awakes to resume her duties this night."
The stallions filling the room nodded at her words, excitement filling their veins as they stared back at their princess with bated breath.
"Ooh! Pick me!" One shouted.
"No! Pick me, Princess!" Another cried.
"You're already married!"
"Buck off, don't ruin this for me!"
Celestia rolled her eyes as discreetly as she could with almost all eyes on her.
"Now gentlecolts, I promise that my decision has been made with all the consideration I could possibly give. I would remind you all that you are fantastic stallions, and any mare would be lucky to have any of you. However, as I stated before, I must choose only one, and I have made that choice. The stallion that I have chosen to be my new consort, is Anonymous." Celestia finished, a soft smile on her face.
"I'm sorry, what?" Anon did a double take.
"What?!"
"Who?!"
"Where is he!? I'll kill him!"
"But I'm so much prettier than him!"
A chorus of angry, dismayed, and downright sad voices filled the air, delving the room into a chaotic fit as the guardsmares stepped in to attempt to control the crowd of suddenly angry ponies.
Meanwhile, in the back of the room, Anon's jaw dropped, and he stared back at Celestia with a mix of disbelief, shock, and confusion.
"Lieutenant Valorant, would you kindly have Anonymous brought to my chambers immediately." Celestia asked, nodding her head toward the human in question.
The guardsmare next to Raven nodded, stepping toward the group of guards holding back the shouting and screaming stallions.
She grabbed two unicorn mares and directed them toward Anon, "You two. Get Anonymous to the Princess's private quarters. I don't want a single hair on that stallion's head to be out of place when he gets there, you understand?" She ordered.
"Yes ma'am!" Both mares replied instantly, before breaking into a gallop toward Anon.
They both ignited their horns and disappeared with a magical *pop*, before reappearing at Anon's side.
"Gah!" Anon cried out, nearly falling backwards in his chair.
"Don't worry sir. We're here to take you to her highness's chambers." One guard said.
"Just try to stay still. This should only take a second." The other cautioned, her horn lighting up once more.
"Wait, what are you-" Anon began, before disappearing with the guard in a flash of light.
He blinked back into existence just inside of Celestia's bedroom, still in the chair and with the second guardsmare beside him.
"What the fuck just happened?" Anon asked, before throwing up on the floor.
All's Fair in Love and War
Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter. All's Fair in Love and War
Chapter 5: Public Relations
"Come again?" Anon asked, cleaning his ear out with a pinkie.
Celestia frowned slightly while Luna scowled, "I said that Luna and I are in a romantic relationship."
Anon shook his head slowly, "Right... that's... that's what I thought you said. Just wanted to make sure I heard right." He replied, his eyes still wide with surprise.
A painful silence quickly descended over the room as the sisters watched Anon and judged his reaction. After nearly a minute of noiselessness, Luna growled and facehoofed.
"Will you just say something already!" She shouted.
Anon jumped at her volume before shaking his head and clearing his throat, "Right, right. Sorry, I'm just... taking that all in. It's uh... not every day you hear news like that."
"Anonymous, please try to remember the situation as I described to you a moment ago. You've no idea how hard it is to watch the ponies you love die over and over again while you continue to live without aging a day... Being with each other is the only way Luna and I can have a partner that we won't simply outlive." Celestia offered with a placating tone.
"I mean, you're right, I don't think I'd ever understand what you both went through. It's just a large pill to swallow, you know. Also, I have even more questions now." Anon responded.
"What questions are those?" Celestia tilted her head to the side.
"Well, for starters, why did you make that Act in the first place if you and-" Anon looked over to Luna, "-you were already in a relationship?"
Luna sighed through her nostrils, "Partially, because we were on the moon for the last thousand years." She muttered.
"We?" Anon quietly inquired, only for Celestia to continue.
"Also... largely because of the way our ponies would react." She added.
"What do you mean? The ponies wouldn't be okay with this? Don't they, like... not have a choice? At all?" Anon questioned, his brow furrowed in confusion.
Celestia cleared her throat, "While... we could inform the public of our relationship and tell them that they have no sway over the matter... there are several complications that would arise. Firstly, incest was banned by law well over a thousand years ago."
"Right, because of the genetic issues that it could have." Anon chimed in.
"Exactly. However, as you can clearly see, my sister and I are both mares. Therefore, there are no foals to worry about. That said, there's also the matter of us placing ourselves above the law, which, as I'm sure you can tell, isn't a good look," Celestia continued, "Secondly, there's the matter of how the general public would react. You aren't even a pony and your reaction spoke volumes about how you view the subject."
Anon held his hands up in a defensive manner, "Well, hang on, it's not that I think it's... super bad... I mean, unless one of you were a dude, then I think there would be some serious moral issues there, but since you're both mares... I think... I can kinda be okay with it. I mean, considering your situation, it does make a lot of sense." He admitted.
"You don't get to decide if it's 'kinda' okay, human. This is our relationship, and you will either respect it in it's completeness, or you will not be our royal consort." Luna barked from her side of the table.
"Luna, please," Celestia sighed, before turning back to Anon, "My sister is still adjusting to Equestria as it is today. Back in the days of old, whatever we said or did was considered perfection, and ponies were imprisoned or worse for not agreeing with us or insulting us in any way. Mind you, we've come a long way since then. My sister and I are just as fallible as any other creature, as we both have learned over the centuries." She explained, sending a pointed glance Luna's way.
The lunar alicorn seemed to get the point and retreated back into her seat somewhat, crossing her hooves as she angrily pouted. Anon eyed her warily before turning back to Celestia with a frown.
"I... understand. I'll try to keep that in mind in the future."
Celestia smiled, "Excellent. Thank you. Any other questions?"
Anon scratched his chin, "Well... does anyone else know about you two?" He inquired.
Celestia nodded, "Raven is aware, along with all of our personal guards and a few of the maid staff. They've all sworn to keep their silence on the subject."
"Huh... Alright." Anon shrugged ever so slightly.
"Of course, now, you've made your position fairly clear, but we still haven't received an answer from you with regards to our offer." Celestia replied.
Anon's eyes darted back to Luna for the briefest of moments before going back to Celestia, "I, uh... I dunno. Am I going to have to walk on eggshells around you two all the time? That sounds like more of a prison sentence than anything else." He admitted, an uneasy frown on his face.
Celestia shook her head, "No, of course not. Once we're married, you will be royalty. You will officially become a prince, although, that will take some time to take effect. Even as our consort, you will be treated as our equal, although you will not have the same level of authority as us. I assure you, neither me, nor my sister will use our positions to threaten, intimidate, or cause any harm to come to you, isn't that right, Luna?" She explained, glaring slightly at the lunar alicorn.
Luna rolled her eyes before sitting upright once more, "Of course, sister. Anonymous, as much as this situation irks me, we swear by our moon and stars, that we will not have you turned into a frog and thrown into the dungeon for angering us during this ordeal." She announced in a flat tone.
Anon gulped, "Uh... thanks. That, uh... That's very appreciated, Princess... um, quick question. Why do you keep referring to yourself as 'we'?" He asked.
"'Tis tradition to address our subjects using the royal 'we' and 'us'." Luna replied as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
"Uh huh..." Anon slowly nodded.
"Luna, please drop the old Canterlotian. If Anon is to be our consort, you will have to speak to him normally. He will no longer be one of our subjects, he will be one of us." Celestia chimed in.
"That depends entirely on if he is willing to take on the role in the first place." Luna shrugged, sagging back into her chair.
Celestia shook her head and sighed, before turning back to Anon, "Anonymous, now that you know all of this, what is your answer? I hate to keep pushing you like this, but we do need to know."
The man in question chewed on his tongue as he gazed down at his plate, his mind pondering over the situation at hand. He looked over to Celestia, finding her giving an encouraging smile. Then he looked over to Luna, only to find her looking down at him with reserved curiosity. Albeit with some trepidation, he slowly made up his mind.
"Well... uh, I mean... it'll definitely spice life up... a lot. Not like I've got anything else going for me." He shrugged.
Celestia beamed, "Fantastic. Thank you so much Anonymous. I can't begin to tell you how much we both appreciate this."
"Yeah... I can tell." Anon half smiled, casting a wary look Luna's way.
Luna raised an eyebrow, but said nothing, instead opting to gaze back out the window at the night sky and the moon as it hovered in the horizon.
"Well, like I said, the movers have already moved all of your possessions into the castle, and your room has been furnished accordingly. I will have Sergeant Javelin show you there after dinner. Tomorrow will be a busy day, so we'll have to get you up and dressed accordingly fairly early in the morning. Perhaps within an hour after I raise the sun." Celestia explained, a thoughtful expression on her face.
"Why so early? What's tomorrow?" Anon inquired, looking at her cautiously.
"Well we'll need to get you fitted for the ceremony, of course." Celestia replied.
"What ceremony?" Anon pressed, completely lost.
"The ceremony of our vows... do you not know about that?" Celestia tilted her head to the side.
Anon shook his head.
"The ceremony of our vows is where we pledge ourselves to one another and make the marriage date official. That's where you'll become an official royal consort to Luna and I. Most of Canterlot will be present." Celestia elaborated.
Anon turned a shade greener, "W-we're... tomorrow...Most of Canterlot?" He whispered, his eyes wide.
Celestia nodded, "Fear not. It will be a relatively simple affair. We'll meet there, say our vows, then you'll officially become our consort. The wedding date will be set about six months from then, as the majority of Equestria will want to attend and the logistical nightmare that's going to cause will take some time to deal with." She finished.
"Right... right... so, all we're doing is just... saying some bullshit vows and then picking a date? Nothing else? Nothing intimate?" Anon hastily questioned.
Celestia immediately looked uncomfortable, "W-well..." She trailed off.
Luna sighed loudly from her side of the table, "You will have to kiss both of us to seal the vows, Anonymous."
Anon's face paled, "O-oh... is that all?"
"Aside from pledging your vows to us, and the kiss, no. I promise to keep the ceremony as short as possible. If I may, you seem quite uncomfortable with the thought of kissing us. I'm sorry if we aren't what your species would consider attractive, but it will be as quick as we can make it." Celestia offered, a worried look present in her eyes.
"Wait, what? No! No, no, no! You guys are gorgeous! Like, for real. You're both absurdly beautiful. I didn't even think of ponies as attractive until recently but even when I first met you, I thought you were beautiful. No, no... it's not that." Anon hastily asserted, frantically waving his hands around.
Celestia seemed to smile just a tad at his words, "Then what's troubling you, Anonymous?" She asked, her brow furrowing in concern once more.
"It's just... ah, I don't know... I just don't do so well with big crowds. I get so anxious that I'm going to make a fool out of myself... and being the only human here just makes it worse. Everyone's gonna know the one human made himself look like a complete dumbass in front of most of Canterlot." Anon sighed, sinking into his chair.
Celestia looked over to Luna to find that for the first time since she laid eyes on Anon, she had a look of sympathy on her face. As soon as the lunar alicorn realized she was being looked at, she turned to Celestia and raised an eyebrow. Albeit with some hesitation, the larger sister turned back to Anon and gave a supportive smile.
"Anonymous, I promise you that we will do everything in our power to ensure you don't do anything inappropriate. We will go over everything tonight after dinner, and tomorrow once again before the ceremony. While... I can't say that any of us are particularly excited about the kiss tomorrow, you're not the first creature of a different species that we've had to kiss publicly. I'm sure we can work out how to make it as simple and effortless as possible." Celestia stated.
Anon looked up at the solar princess with surprise and intrigue written all over his face, "Wait... what other species have you guys been with?" He asked.
"There have only been a few, however, I do recall a griffon long before the war." Celestia responded, scratching her chin in thought.
"There were two hippogriffs back before my banishment. Celia Spring and Gale Breeze." Luna recalled fondly.
"Oh! I do remember the time I was with a dragon. His name was Paarthurnax. Very wise young dragon. Very charming. Unfortunately, the dragon lord at the time called all of his subjects back to the dragon lands for some grand expedition and I never saw him again. If he was still around today, he'd be massive. At least the size of this room." Celestia chuckled as she reminisced.
The way the two sisters seemed to lighten up as they recalled their past lovers made Anon visibly relax as well. The previous tension in the air seemed to simply melt away, leaving a calm feeling in the air as Anon listened to the two old mares and their previous relationships. Another few minutes of idle recollection passed by before the door to the kitchen was suddenly opened and the waiter entered, pushing along a cart loaded with food with his magic.
The waiter swiftly deposited a platter in front of each of the three occupants of the table and left without a word, only stopping to give a small bow as he exited. Once he was gone, Anon looked down at his tray to see a large bowl filled with blood red soup with some parsley sprinkled on top and a small piece of toasted bread sticking out of the liquid. He hesitantly grabbed his spoon and dipped it into the soup.
Anon glanced up at Celestia and Luna as he slowly stirred his spoon, finding them both already preoccupied with their own meals. With a small shrug, he brought the spoon to his mouth and tasted the soup.
"Oh yeah..." He whispered, "That's the good shit. I could get used to this."
The Next Morning
"Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck." Anon quickly repeated the mantra he'd been reciting for the past twenty minutes.
The nervous wreck of a man paced back and forth as he looked out of the window at the crowd of hundreds of Canterlot ponies gathered in the courtyard of the castle. Sweat dripped from his brow and ran down his neck as he wiped his face for the umpteenth time that morning. The still growing crowd made his nerves spiral out of control, making him jumpy and jittery.
Despite their insistence otherwise, Celestia and Luna were at a loss as to what to do to help Anon before the ceremony was due to begin. As their personal dressmakers tended to the last finishing touches on their exquisite white and black dresses, the royal sisters eyed Anon with concern.
"He's been pacing like that for the last half hour. Are you sure he'll be alright for the ceremony?" Luna asked, raising an eyebrow.
Celestia sighed, "I'm not sure. I didn't think his nerves would be quite this bad before an event like this. I'm sure we can help him coast through it. We might just need some... assistance," She replied, before looking down to her assistant, "Raven, do you think you could bring Anon some tea with some rhineroot extract?"
Raven nodded, "Of course, Princess. I'll have somepony on it right away." She quickly replied before departing the room.
As the unicorn secretary left the room, Javelin made his way over to Anon's side, eyeing the slightly shaking man to his right with a curious eyebrow raised.
"How're you doing, sir." Javelin asked.
"I told you to call me Anon, didn't I?" Anon snippily responded.
Javelin recoiled ever so slightly at Anon's tone.
"Sorry, sorry. I know you're just doing your job. I didn't mean to snap at you, I'm just... so fucking nervous, holy shit. Like... there's gotta be over five hundred of them out there... and this is only the ceremony of vows? How many are gonna cram in here for the actual wedding? I don't do well in crowds like this, man. At least, not until I've had a lot of alcohol." Anon apologized, rubbing the bridge of his nose.
"It's no problem sir... Anon. Sorry, I'm just not used to somepony being so informal with me while I'm on duty. I'll try to remember that you don't want to be addressed like that. I'm sure the ceremony will go smoothly though. You have both princesses looking after you, so I doubt they'll let anything go wrong. It's just like they told you earlier this morning. All you have to do is say the vow as it's written down in front of you, kiss each princess when told, and say 'I do'. Just focus on that and pretend the crowd isn't out there, and this will be a piece of cake." Javelin responded, a half smile working its way onto his face.
"Thanks, Jav. Thanks. I appreciate it, man. I'm doing my best, but, man, it's tough to not think of all the eyes on me. This shit is exactly why I didn't become an actor. Fucking anxiety always gets the best of me. At least, until I get a few drinks in me... then I end up being the center of attention for sure." Anon nodded, rubbing his hands together in an attempt to calm his nerves.
"Well I'm sure most actors have the same level of anxiety you have, it's just a matter of managing it. Don't worry, you'll only have to be out in front of all those eyes for a few minutes, maybe half an hour at most. There's no afterparty or anything else so we can work on your sober confidence before the actual wedding." Javelin offered.
"Yeah, thanks man." Anon replied, patting Javelin on the back of his helmet.
Before Javelin could respond, Raven walked up to the duo with a mug of tea held in her magical grasp. She cleared her throat, earning the attention of both Anon and Javelin.
"Miss Inkwell." Javelin acknowledged with a nod.
"Sergeant," Raven responded before looking up to Anon, "Anonymous. Here, drink this." She ordered, levitating the mug up to Anon's face.
Anon grabbed the mug with both hands and slowly brought it over to his nose to smell. The faint scent of hibiscus and something he could not place reached his nose, making Anon sigh quietly.
"What's in this tea?" He asked, eyeing Raven curiously.
"It's a special blend of hibiscus tea blended with ginger root. The princess thought it would help calm your nerves. Please, just take a couple sips. It's very effective. It should help calm you down and, we have to be out there within the hour." Raven replied with a very professional and calm tone.
Anon eyed the drink for a moment before taking a sip. After a moment of judging the flavor, he smiled to himself and drank more of the tea down, earning a small smile from the secretary in the process.
"If you gentlecolts need me, I'll be with Princess Celestia. I'll see you both when it's time." Raven announced, giving a smile to both Anon and Javelin.
Javelin blushed ever so slightly before nodding and looking back toward Anon to find the man staring down at him with wide eyes.
"Bro... did you just... blush?" Anon inquired.
"No!" Javelin hastily denied.
"Oh my God, you totally did. You have the hots for her, don't you?" Anon pressed, cracking a wide smile.
"I do not! Besides, we shouldn't focus on this now. Weren't you just nervous as all Tartarus a second ago anyways?" Javelin asserted with an even more noticeable blush on his muzzle.
"Oh I totally still am, it's just that making fun of your crush on the secretary is taking my mind off of it so please just let me have a bit of fun here," Anon replied before taking another sip of his tea, "That and this stuff is making me feel a lot better. I feel a lot looser and more relaxed all of a sudden."
Javelin raised an eyebrow, "That fast? You only took a couple sips. Either way, I'd prefer not to discuss my feelings for any mares while I'm on duty. Once I'm off duty, we can discuss things like that." He responded.
"Yeah, yeah. Alright. Just bustin' your balls a bit. I'm sure I'm going to turn myself into a laughing stock whenever they call us out there." Anon replied drinking down the remainder of the tea quickly.
Another pony with a clipboard held in his magical grasp quickly entered the room, "Everypony! The ceremony is about to begin. Princesses, would you please head downstairs immediately. Anonymous, it's time for you to take your place at the back." He announced, his voice booming in the relatively small room.
Celestia and Luna both nodded as they got to their hooves and followed the stallion out the door, leaving just Javelin and Anon in the room with the dressmakers and Raven.
"Alright stallions, it's time to get a move on. Anonymous, you remember where you're supposed to be, correct?" Raven asked, walking up to the man.
"Y-yesh." Anon said, slurring his words quite noticeably.
"Uh... Anon? Are you alright?" Javelin asked, noticing the distant look in Anon's eyes.
"Mmhmm... never bedder," Anon responded, before stepping toward the opposite doorway and nearly falling flat on his face, "Oh... who put that floor there?"
"Anon what the hay has gotten into you? Are you drunk?" Javelin exclaimed, using his magic to help prop the human up.
"Oh... buck." Raven muttered, eyeing the empty cup of tea.
"What's wrong? What happened?" Javelin questioned, looking back and forth between the secretary and Anon.
"We... might have a slight problem. I didn't think the rhineroot would affect him so much so quickly." Raven muttered, her brow furrowed in thought.
"Rhineroot!? I thought you said the tea had ginger root in it!" Javelin exclaimed, a panicked look crossing his face.
"Hehe, cute white fluffballs are yelling at each other." Anon drunkenly chuckled as he swayed in place.
"I didn't want Anonymous to be concerned about the drink! He was a mess of nerves and the princess thought it would help him calm down before the ceremony." Raven defended.
"The solution to his nerves was to drug him!?" Javelin facehoofed.
"It wasn't my idea! Listen, we can't let him go out there like this. This ceremony is already going to be under intense scrutiny because of its very nature. We can't risk a drunk human bumbling around and making a fool of himself the entire time." Raven thought aloud, fixing Javelin with an intense look.
"Well what do we do then?" Javelin replied.
"We have to call the ceremony off. I'll go to the princesses. You make sure that he -" Raven turned to where Anon was only to find that he was gone, "-stays put and oh my Celestia where did he go!? "She shrieked.
Javelin immediately bolted to the doorway to look for Anon but found nothing. He hastily rushed back to Raven, finding her staring out the window in horror. A pit quickly formed in his stomach as he walked over to the window and looked outside. Music began to play as the ceremony began, and while Celestia and Luna stood elegantly on the raised platform in the center of the courtyard, Anon was struggling to walk up the aisle.
He stumbled left, then right, then backwards, and eventually forward. The walk that would normally take only a minute to complete ended up taking almost twice as long as Anon struggled to get his footing right. His eyes were directed at his feet the entire time, as if looking at something else would cause him to lose his concentration and he would fall down completely. Raven's jaw dropped as Anon finally made it to the stage in the center of the courtyard, but rather than walking onto it normally, he laid down on the stairs and rolled himself upwards until he was facedown on the stage with the two princesses of Equestria.
Anon appeared to mutter something to himself before pushing himself up to his feet and staggering over to the center of the podium, between Celestia and Luna. While the solar diarch seemed to be eyeing him with concern and surprise, the lunar alicorn was glaring daggers at the tall man as her tail whipped back and forth in barely suppressed anger.
"Dearly beloved," The speaker started, "We are gathered here today, to witness the vows of both Princess Celestia and Princess Luna to their newly appointed consort, as well as his vows to them. Princess Celestia, would you like to start?" She asked, looking to the larger alicorn with a smile.
"Of course," Celestia replied before turning to Anon, "Anonymous, though our time together has been short so far, I cannot deny that there is something about you that has caught my eye. I could not choose you without careful consideration, though I am certain that I will be nothing but pleased to have you in my life. I vow to honor you, cherish you, and love you until the day you die. This, I swear by my own sun, and my own heart." She announced, looking at the still swaying man with all the compassion she could muster.
A wave of cheers and stomping hooves swept through the crowd. The speaker smiled warmly and nodded to the solar diarch before turning to the lunar princess, "And you, Princess Luna?"
Luna grit her teeth and cleared her throat, "Anonymous... we feel the same as our sister. Though we have only known you for a short time... we swear to treat thee as any lover should." She said, just barely preventing a scowl from forming on her face.
A much smaller wave of cheers and applause swept through the crowd as the speaker focused on Anon.
"Now, Anonymous. Having heard these vows from both Princess Celestia and Princess Luna, what say you?" She announced, drawing all eyes to the man who was eyeing the floor as if he was going to fall into the sky any second.
Celestia and Luna both eyed the man worriedly as he slowly looked up to his hand for his scribbled notes. Once he seemed sure of himself, he looked up to the speaker, and then to each princess.
"I... promise to love you both..." He looked down at his hand again, "No matter what. Until my dying breath... my heart is yours." He finished, looking to his hand once more in scrutiny before nodding, apparently satisfied with his performance.
Another wave of excited cheers and stomping hooves ran through the crowd, although many of them were more confused than anything.
The speaker nodded and cleared her throat, "Then, by the power vested in me by both her majesties Princess Celestia and Princess Luna, I declare your vows spoken. Please, kiss the stallion to seal the bond."
Celestia and Luna both turned to Anon, the latter looking much more displeased than the former. As the solar alicorn approached him, Anon managed a crooked smile and leaned forward. Celestia moved in for the kiss, only to be surprised as Anon grabbed her by the back of her head and pulled her into a deep kiss. Her eyes widened as she felt his lips pressed firmly against hers, his head tilted to the side to gain better access. After several seconds, he pulled away with a wet *pop*, leaving the solar alicorn speechless.
Luna was even less prepared. She stared at Anon in shock as he finished with Celestia and drunkenly walked the short distance over to her. She opened her mouth to speak, but was cut off as Anon again grabbed her by the back of her head with both hands and pressed his lips against hers. His tongue immediately raced out and caressed hers as he kissed her even more deeply than Celestia. Luna grunted in protest but quickly remembered her place and accepted the admittedly sloppy kiss.
Finally, Anon pulled away and stood upright, a wide smile on his drunken face as he swayed in place next to the two recovering alicorns. The entire crowd stood in silence, even the speaker finding no words for the raunchy public display.
"We are so bucked." Raven whispered.
Author's Note
A little too much liquid courage, huh?
All's Fair in Love and War
Chapter 6: A Heated Exchange
After the Ceremony
"Get out of my way! Let me kill him! Let me end him!" Luna screamed, her horn glowing nearly white hot as she tried to get around Celestia.
"Luna! Calm down this instant! What happened out there was not Anon's fault! It was mine!" Celestia shouted back.
As the taller alicorn struggled to hold her sister back, Anon continued to sway back and forth in the throne room, his eyes closed as he hummed a song to himself, completely unaware of the struggle happening just a few feet away. Javelin and Raven stood beside Anon, both trying to get him to focus on the situation at hand.
"Anonymous, will you please stop humming and pay attention!" Raven exclaimed, frantically looking back and forth between Luna and the drunk human.
"Hehe, angry blue pone go brrrrrrrr." Anon mumbled, chuckling to himself.
"I'll rip his head off!" Luna shouted.
"Luna, that's enough!" Celestia screamed, her horn igniting in a golden light.
A bubble immediately formed around Luna, effectively locking her in place. She continued to scream and pound on the inside of the magic bubble, but the only sound that escaped came out muffled, and dampened. Celestia breathed a small sigh of relief before turning to Anon, Javelin, and Raven.
"Alright... now that I can actually speak at a normal volume, let's deal with this situation. Sergeant Javelin, could you please lead Anonymous to his room? Make sure he lies down and sleeps this off." Celestia said, her voice slightly hoarse from the previous shouting.
Javelin snapped to a salute, "Of course, Princess."
The guardspony quickly grabbed Anon's hand with his magic and led him toward the doorway.
"Woah... where are we going?" Anon managed to ask as he stared, dumbstruck at Javelin's magic aura on his hand.
"We're taking you back to your room, sir. You need to lay down and rest." Javelin professionally responded.
"D-didn't I... didn't I tell you to call me Anom?" Anon asked, following Javelin out the door.
"Of course, Anon. My mistake." Javelin responded as the pair exited.
Once they were out of sight, Celestia sighed heavily and fell to her haunches. Raven immediately rushed to her side.
"Princess! Are you okay!?" She asked, her muzzle scrunched up in concern.
"I am fine, Raven. Just exhausted after everything that's happened today. I had no idea that the rhineroot would affect him so much. He was completely intoxicated within a matter of minutes." Celestia shook her head.
"It's my fault, Princess. I should have made sure he didn't drink too much of it. I was just... distracted for a moment and suddenly, he drank the entire mug." Raven shook her head, her eyes glued to the floor in shame.
Celestia chuckled, "Well, hopefully we won't make the same mistakes again," She replied, before turning around to look at Luna, "If I let you out of that bubble, will you calm yourself?"
Luna sat on her haunches and crossed her forelegs. She pouted angrily as Celestia furrowed her brow at her. Eventually, the lunar alicorn rolled her eyes and nodded. Celestia smiled weakly before dropping the spell.
"About time, sister." Luna bitterly asserted.
Now it was Celestia's turn to roll her eyes, "Don't give me that. You know good and well that you're acting like a child."
Luna's wings flared out defensively, "I-We were not! That... that man-beast assaulted us in front of a crowd of hundreds!" She exclaimed.
"Firstly, what Anon did was entirely my fault, not his. I did not know that the rhineroot would make him completely drunk within a single cup of tea. Secondly, you're an immortal alicorn who can move a celestial body. All Anon did was kiss you, not hit you. Stop overreacting." Celestia shot back.
Luna recoiled, "W-we were not referring to a physical assault... We were... We were not ready for him to... kiss us that deeply." She admitted, a dark blush forming on her cheeks.
Celestia's harsh gaze softened, and she sighed quietly, "Neither was I. It would seem that, in his inebriated state, Anonymous can be quite forward. I wouldn't have expected it from him. Perhaps a mare, but not a stallion." She shook her head.
"Well... if I might add some input, Princess," Raven spoke up, directing both alicorns attention to herself, "Anonymous is a different species. Even though he's a stallion, his kind might not act the same as ponies when it comes to displays of affection. Also he was incredibly drunk, I'm honestly surprised he could stand at all, let alone prench you both in front of a crowd." She explained.
"Miss Inkwell brings up a valid point. Anonymous may be a stallion, but he's no stallion we've ever seen before. I've never seen one act so forcefully when drunk. Every stallion I've ever seen that intoxicated became a sobbing mess of emotions, or incredibly submissive." Celestia admitted.
"Are you still sure that he was the right choice, sister?" Luna questioned, raising an eyebrow.
"He's promised to keep our relationship a secret. Aside from the spectacle we surely caused today, I think the first day went rather well. Anonymous didn't go running his mouth to every pony he saw out there... that's more than I could say for every other stallion that wanted to be in his place today." Celestia shook her head.
"For what it's worth, Princess, the ponies seemed to take what happened rather well. Anonymous kissing you and Princess Luna so aggressively really sold the thought that you both actually love him.
"Yes, well... as long as there isn't any actual damage to our reputation, I suppose things went better than expected." Luna responded, her muzzle scrunched in thought.
"I only hope that my decision to give him the rhineroot has not affected his willingness to keep his promise." Celestia continued, biting her lip in concern.
"If he knows what is good for him, he will keep good to his word." Luna said, a scowl forming on her face.
"Regardless, we will have to speak of this more at dinner. I need to get out of this dress and into my regalia. The sun will have to go down within the next six hours. Raven, could you go check up on Anonymous around that time and see if he'll be joining us?" Celestia asked, standing up to her full height.
"Of course, Princess." Raven replied, hastily making her way out the door.
"I suppose I will see you at dinner then, Tia." Luna said, turning toward her own bedroom.
"Of course. Thank you for being reasonable, Lulu. I know today was hard, but we can put it behind us now." Celestia kindly replied.
"I hope so." Luna whispered.
Anon was roused from his nap by a light knocking on his door. He groaned as he rolled out of bed and got to his feet. Once glance out the window told him that the sun was setting, and he rubbed some sleepiness out of his eyes before making his way over to the door and opening it to reveal Raven.
"Anonymous. Glad to see you're not drunk anymore." Raven smiled.
Anon rubbed his temples, "Yeah... what the hell was in that drink you gave me? Were you trying to get me wasted before the ceremony?" He asked.
Raven immediately blanched at the assertion, "W-what? Of course not! Princess Celestia thought that a cup of tea with the rhineroot would help you relax and calm your nerves before the ceremony. None of us knew that it would affect you so much." She defended.
Anon winced at her increased volume, "Alright, alright. I guess I get what you were trying to do... but why didn't you just tell me what was in the drink? I've got a killer headache now. Feels like I'm hungover but it's only been a few hours."
Raven deflated and sighed, "I... apologize for that, Anonymous. I believed that it would be easier if you didn't know. We didn't have much time to get you ready for the ceremony and I thought that if you knew what was in the drink, you wouldn't want to drink it." She admitted.
Anon pinched the bridge of his nose, "You... do realize that only makes it sound so much worse, right?" He asked.
Raven's eyes drifted to the floor,"I... I know. I'm so sorry, sir." She apologized.
Anon watched her for a few moments before sighing heavily, "Well... don't do that shit again. I don't like the idea of getting drugged every time I accept a drink from you."
"Of course, sir. I promise that it'll never happen again. You have my word." Raven replied with a small bow.
Anon nodded before leaning out of the doorway and glancing down the hallway, noticing the pair of guardsmares stationed outside his doorway, "So what are you here for? Just to see if I'm not dead?"
"N-no! I mean, of course I wanted to make sure you were alright, but... I was also asked to see if you were going to be attending dinner." Raven hastily responded, her eyes wide in alarm.
Anon licked his lips, "Food does sound pretty good right now. I didn't eat much today. I don't trust you anymore... but I'll go to dinner." He answered.
Raven frowned as her eyes drifted to the floor, "I... I understand, sir. I'm so sorry. I'll do whatever I can to make this right." She dejectedly responded as she hung her head low.
Anon stared down at the pony for almost a minute before sighing and shaking his head. "God dammit. Stop doing that, come on. I can't stay mad at you ponies when you look so sad."
Raven looked up at him with a bewildered look on her face, "W-what?"
Anon leaned against the doorway, "I'll... consider forgiving you. Just don't start the puppy dog eyes routine. I swear, you ponies always make me feel bad when you look sad."
"I... I'm not sure how to feel about that." Raven tilted her head to the side.
"You don't need to feel anything about it. Come on, let's just go to dinner. I'm starving." Anon shook his head as his stomach growled.
Raven perked up considerably and stepped out of the way as Anon exited his bedroom, "The dining room is this way. I'll take you there."
"Thanks." Anon replied.
Raven smiled before turning and leading Anon down the hallway toward the dining room. The guards quickly followed them as the pair passed through several hallways and arrived at the throne room. Anon gave Javelin a small wave as he arrived at the massive doorway on the far side of the room. Javelin returned the wave with an almost imperceptible nod as Raven ushered Anon inside.
Once Anon stepped into the dining room, he saw Celestia and Luna already sitting at the dinner table in their respective chairs, as well as several other guards standing around the room. Celestia immediately turned her attention to Anon and Raven as they approached the table.
"Anonymous, Raven. It's good to see you on your hooves." Celestia greeted, a friendly smile on her face.
"Feet." Anon corrected.
"Pardon?" Celestia tilted her head to the side.
"I don't have hooves. I have feet." Anon replied, lifting his leg up slightly to direct attention to his foot.
"Ah, I can't say I've ever heard of those before. I know you have hands. Minotaurs do too, but they have hooves instead of feet." Celestia acknowledged.
"This is all very interesting talk, sister, however, we did agree to discuss some rather important matters at dinner, didn't we?" Luna suddenly interjected from her side of the table.
Celestia, Anon, and Raven all looked to the lunar alicorn as she slouched in her chair, looking incredibly bored.
"Yes, of course," Celestia replied before turning back to Anon, "Anonymous, won't you please take a seat? We have much to discuss."
"Yeah, I think we do." Anon replied, taking his seat.
Celestia nodded to the guards, prompting them to all leave the room before she focused her attention on Anon.
"Alright, Anonymous, firstly, I wanted to apologize for having Raven give you that cup of tea. I did not realize that it would have such an effect on you."
"I get why you did it. I've already talked this over with Raven." Anon curtly replied.
Celestia nodded slowly, "I see. I think it would be safe to assume that you are unhappy about the whole situation."
"Beyond unhappy. Drugging someone is a serious crime on my world."
Celestia frowned,"I understand. Please also understand that rhineroot isn't more of a drug than any other type of ginger root. It simply has more calming properties than most others. I didn't realize it would be so much more potent on you." She replied, bowing her head apologetically.
Anon nodded, "Like I said, I get why you did it, I'm just not happy about being lied to about it." He replied, crossing his arms.
"Who lied to you?" Celestia inquired.
"Withholding the truth is the same thing as lying, Princess." Anon replied.
Celestia and Luna both shared a look before the former sagged her shoulders slightly and shook her head.
"I understand your frustrations, Anonymous. Please understand that I will never let something like that happen again. Regardless of how you feel about me or my sister, we do want you to be happy and healthy." Celestia responded.
"Speak for thyself, sister." Luna muttered under her breath.
Celestia's eyes darted toward the smaller alicorn and she directed a glare her way for a brief moment before returning her attention to Anon.
"Clearly we haven't earned your trust yet. I understand that. The past twenty four hours have been trying for all of us. Having said that, I think the worst of it is over, at least for the time being." Celestia offered.
"If you say so... anyways, how bad did I make myself look? How bad did I make you both look?" Anon questioned, crossing his arms and leaning back into his chair, "Drunk me tends to get a bit... iffy."
"If you are referring to when you molested us in front of our subjects, then yes. Drunk you is quite a bit 'iffy'." Luna piped up from her side of the table.
"What!?' Anon exclaimed, instantly sitting upright.
"Luna, please!" Celestia facehoofed, "Anonymous, relax. You did nothing of the sort."
Anon breathed a sigh of relief before Luna responded.
"Well what would you call it, sister!?" She asserted, pointing an accusing hoof toward the solar alicorn.
"It was a kiss! Yes he was assertive about it, but it's not like he pinned you down and had his way with you! Not to mention, you were supposed to kiss him! Stop acting as if he assaulted you." Celestia shouted, the finality of her tone making Luna lean back into her chair and pout.
"Well he thought about it." She mumbled.
Anon watched the exchange with a concerned frown on his face. He twiddled his thumbs for a few moments as he thought over everything he'd heard.
"So... I kissed Luna pretty aggressively? Is that all? Or did I do more dumb shit?" Anon asked.
"No, Anonymous. For the most part you were relatively tame. You were noticeably struggling to stand at several points, but you managed to keep yourself from appearing completely intoxicated the entire time." Celestia replied, giving a more friendly look Anon's way.
Anon nodded, "So... I didn't take me clothes off or anything, right?"
Celestia and Luna both looked at Anon as if he'd grown a second head.
"Um... no, no I don't recall seeing you naked. Is... is there a reason you would undress? So far I've only ever seen you with clothes on." Celestia replied, slowly.
"No, no. I just... like I said, drunk me is... iffy. As long as I didn't get to stripping, we're good." Anon replied with a relieved sigh.
"Is being naked some sort of taboo for you?" Luna inquired, looking Anon over curiously.
"Extremely so. On my world, just about everyone wears clothes all the time. We've even gotten to the point that being naked outside is illegal in pretty much every city and town where I'm from." Anon replied.
Luna and Celestia shared a look.
"Why?" Celestia asked.
"Well... there's a bunch of reasons. Biggest being decency." Anon shrugged.
"It's indecent to not be clothed on your world?" Luna questioned, a perplexed look on her face.
"Well yeah. We're not like you ponies. We don't have tails to cover things up or fur to hide our bits." Anon responded.
"Don't you have a sheath?" Celestia asked.
Anon blushed slightly, "Uh, isn't this not really... dinner talk?"
"Nonsense! We are intrigued. Tell us more, Anonymous." Luna ordered.
Anon looked to Celestia for help, only to find her nodding encouragingly for him to continue, her expression confirming her interest in the topic.
"Well... no. We don't have sheaths or anything. It all just kinda... hangs out. So clothes help keep everything from flopping around or getting hurt by something else. Also it's just common decency to keep your bits out of sight when there are kids or other people around." Anon admitted
Celestia nodded, apparently satisfied with the answer. Luna hummed in thought before shrugging and returning to her slouched position in the chair. An awkward silence quickly fell over the room as Anon looked back and forth between the two princesses.
"So, uh... what happens now?" He asked.
"Dinner." Luna immediately answered.
"I meant like, big picture. What, am I supposed to marry you guys and become a prince and do prince things? Am I supposed to help run a kingdom here?" Anon pressed.
Celestia rested her chin on her hoof and pursed her lips as she thought over Anon's question, "As far as your role is concerned, you won't have any royal responsibilities or duties until you're a prince. Even once you're a prince, you will need our approval in a vote of at least two to one to pass anything. You will live in the castle and be free to do as you please, as long as you don't violate decorum in public." She answered.
"So... what does that mean for us as a whole?" Anon questioned.
"There is no 'us' Anonymous. There is only my sister and I. You are merely a tool to help us subvert a law my sister foolishly signed seven hundred years ago." Luna spoke up.
Anon pursed his lips, "Okay... kinda rude but I guess I get it. So ponies won't ask questions about why I'm never with you guys or why we never do things in public like normal couples do?" He asked.
"Your little show at the ceremony certainly made an impression in the minds of everypony present. As far as I'm aware, they are truly convinced that you love us and we you. I'm not sure how the opinions of the rest of Equestria fair, but hopefully there shouldn't be a need for many public displays of affection from here on out." Celestia responded.
Anon nodded, "So... if I understand this correctly... you both feel nothing for me, which is fine, but we're going to be married and we won't even have to pretend to love each other in public to convince the ponies that we're actually in love ." He surmised.
"Precisely." Luna replied.
"So... what would happen if I wanted to be with someone? I'm not trying to die alone here." Anon crossed his arms.
Celestia and Luna shared a look.
"Well... if you want a relationship with a mare, I'm sure that could be accommodated... but it would have to be kept completely secret. Also the mare must be able to keep our secret as well." Celestia replied.
"Okay... and if I found the perfect mare, but she couldn't move to the castle and help me keep your secrets... then what? Am I supposed to just lose her and keep pretending to love you two only when there's other people around? 'Cause if that's the situation here, then I'm out." Anon firmly asserted.
"Anonymous, please understand our situation. If you were to be caught with another mare, it could spell disaster for everything we've been trying to accomplish here in the first place." Celestia offered, holding her hoof up in a placating manner.
"All I'm hearing here is how things could be worse for you two. What about how this affects me? I was under the impression earlier that there was some tiny level of attraction there that made you want to choose me over any pony in that court. Now, you're expecting me to live a loveless life in a world that isn't my own just so that you two can keep your incest going?" Anon questioned, some anger quickly slipping into his tone.
"Anonymous, please calm down. The situation is much more complicated than that-" Celestia began.
"Well un-complicate it then." Anon cut her off.
Luna slammed her hooves on the table, "Do not speak over my sister, whelp!" She shouted.
"Oh fuck off! I'm getting really fucking tired of your goddamn attitude over there! You've been a complete cunt to me ever since I got here, and last I checked, it's your fucking fault I'm here in the first place!" Anon furiously shouted, pointing an accusing finger at Luna.
"Anon! Nightmare Moon returning and dragging you into our world was not Luna's fault!" Celestia exclaimed, "It was a mistake that we've done everything in our power to rectify, and I would appreciate it if you didn't bring up the matter in such an accusatory manner." She explained.
"No, no, no. I'm done with the mister nice guy shit. I've been as polite and courteous as I can be, but I draw the fucking line at being told to die alone so that you two degenerates can fuck without consequence!" Anon continued to shout, pushing his chair out and standing to his feet.
"Anon-" Celestia protested.
Anon stormed off and headed to the doorway.
"Anon, please!" Celestia pleaded as she teleported beside him.
"I'm done talking to you tonight. Unless you can give me a better answer than that, then I'm done with you both." Anon coldly responded as he pulled the door open and left the room. The guards all standing outside quickly shuffled back to their posts in a vain attempt to appear as if they hadn't been listening. Anon stormed past them, leaving even Javelin speechless as he disappeared down the corridor toward his room.
Celestia held up a foreleg to protest his leaving, but only for a moment. She sighed heavily and dropped her foreleg to the floor, a loud *clop* echoing through the now deafeningly quiet halls.
"Sergeant Javelin." Celestia spoke, her voice just a fraction of it's normal strength.
"Yes, your highness!" Javelin immediately responded, rushing into the dining room and snapping a quick salute.
"Please go make sure Anonymous is alright. As for the rest of you, you are all dismissed. I need some time alone with my sister." Celestia replied.
"Yes, Princess!" The guards all answered in unison.
Javelin quickly trotted off as the rest of the guard disbanded and headed toward their barracks for the night. As they departed, Celestia walked back into the dining room to find Luna still sitting at her chair, her head low and her mane covering her face. The larger alicorn quickly walked up to her sister and placed a comforting hoof on her wither.
"I... I am sorry, Lulu." She whispered.
Luna slowly looked up to Celestia, her mane slipping from her face in the process and exposing two streaks of tears running down her cheeks. Celestia instantly felt her heart break at the sight, and she quickly pulled the smaller alicorn into a hug.
"He shouldn't have said those things, Luna. It's not your fault." Celestia comforted.
"N-no... he was right... he was completely right." Luna croaked.
"Lulu..."
"I chose to become Nightmare Moon. My return brought Anonymous here against his will. I... I've been so cruel to him and it's my fault he's even here in the first place." Luna whispered, before more tears fell.
"It was an accident. You didn't intend to bring him here, nor did you intend to become the Nightmare. It was my fault for not listening when I should have." Celestia responded.
"Tia... are we selfish?" Luna asked.
Celestia looked away for a moment, "In this regard... Yes. I believe we are being rather selfish." She admitted.
"I want nothing more than to be with you for the rest of our lives... so why must that be so hard?" Luna questioned, her sobbing turned to sniffles.
"Mortals are tricky, sister... Their love burns brighter than any other... but it burns out so quickly as well." Celestia responded.
Luna fell silent for quite some time. Celestia eventually looked down at her sister just as she finally spoke again.
"Is this not something the Nightmare would do? Deny a mortal creature love just so that it could love instead?" Luna asked.
Celestia was taken aback at the question. She dipped her head in thought for a long while before finally coming up with the answer.
"I suppose so... What do you propose, sister?" She asked.
Author's Note
Personally, I feel like Anon wasn't harsh enough on them, but eh, what do I know? I'm just the author.
All's Fair in Love and War
The Next Morning
Anon awoke to the sounds of birds chirping outside of his window. He slowly looked up at the fiery rays of sunshine as they beamed into the room and created intricate patterns on the floor. With a barely repressed sigh, he threw the covers off of his body and got out of bed. While rubbing the last vestiges of sleepiness from his eyes, Anon made his way to the bathroom and turned on the shower.
A short while later, Anon emerged from the bathroom fully dressed and ready for the day. He made his way to the doorway without hesitation and stepped outside. The pair of guards posted outside his room immediately snapped to attention and gave a crisp salute.
"Good morning, sir!" They both said in unison.
Anon gave them a nod, "Morning."
Without another word, Anon walked toward the dining room, his guards quickly trailing after him as he traveled through the castle halls. As he passed through corridor after corridor, Anon's mind drifted back to the previous night, forcing a steady frown to form on his face.
Did I go too far yesterday? No... no they can't actually expect me to live the rest of my life celibate just so they can keep doing what they want. That's bullshit. It's not right, it's unfair. Anon thought to himself.
As they continued to follow after him, the pair of guardsmares took notice of how Anon's fists clenched the closer he got to the dining room.
I can't believe I even agreed to this shit. I should've asked more questions from the start. Jesus Christ I'm an idiot. Anon's knuckles turned white as he clenched his fists even harder.
The guardsmares shared a look as Anon arrived at the door leading into the dining room.
You know what. Fuck this place, fuck them, fuck- Anon's thoughts continued to rage, only to be interrupted by a voice to the side.
"Anon!" Javelin called , trotting up to the tall man.
Anon turned his head and stared at Javelin with a look of surprise on his face. For the first time since Anon had met the stallion, he wasn't wearing any of his royal guard armor. His coat was now a bluish off-white while his mane and tail were still a deep cobalt blue. His cutiemark, previously obscured by his armor, was a trio of blue bolts of energy.
Anon continued to owlishly stare at the unicorn stallion for a few moments before realizing that Javelin was still waiting for a response.
"J-Javelin?" He asked, tilting his head to the side.
"That's me. How're you holding up, dude? I tried to talk to you last night after what happened, but you basically locked everypony out of your room." Javelin replied, offering a friendly smile.
"Y-yeah... I'm alright, I just..." Anon shook his head, "What's going on, right now? Why're you being so friendly and casual all of a sudden? I was starting to take you for the constant 'stick up the butt' kind of guy." He said, turning away from the doorway to fully face the smaller unicorn.
"I told you that I have to be professional on duty. Today's the start of my weekend. As soon as I take the uniform off, I'm done with all that up-tight, all business crap. You think I like acting like that? No way in Tartarus." Javelin chuckled.
Anon just stared dumbly at Javelin, "Huh." He grunted, chewing on his tongue.
Javelin gave a quick nod, "A-anyways, I wanted to come check up on you. I know last night didn't end well... half of the guard knows that by now. You just seemed like you needed a friend." Javelin offered, flashing another friendly smile.
Anon considered Javelin's words for a few moments. His gaze slowly shifted back to the door and the royal ponies surely behind it. His brow furrowed for just a second before he turned back to Javelin with a grateful half-smile on his face.
"You know, I don't think I've had a friend since I got sucked into this place." Anon admitted.
"All the more reason for us to go hang out. Come on, I know this great bar down in the lower district. It's called 'Trailblazers'." Javelin offered, an excited grin quickly adorning his features.
Anon looked to his wrist, once again finding no watch there. He quickly shook his head and looked at the grandfather clock sitting against the wall.
"It's not even ten in the morning yet." He replied, looking at Javelin with a raised eyebrow.
"And?" Javelin pressed.
Anon pursed his lips, "Fair enough. I'm not getting drunk though. You already know why that's a bad idea."
"I wasn't even going to suggest that. Just a few beers between stallions." Javelin beamed.
"Well, alright then. How does this work, exactly? Do I just leave with you?" Anon asked, looking back at the pair of guards still standing behind him.
"We can report to the princesses and inform them of where you've decided to go for the day and with whom, sir." The first guardsmare responded.
"Since you're going with Sergeant Javelin, you won't technically need an escort, however, I'm sure the princesses will want at least one guard who isn't drinking to go out with you to make sure nothing happens." The second guard chimed in.
"Eh, we're just going down to the lower district. There's a guardpost every six blocks down there and three within a quarter mile of the bar we're going to. Anon will be well protected." Javelin replied.
The guardsmares both gave a nod, "Roger that, Sergeant. We'll inform the princesses for you." The first guard said.
"Have a good time, sir." The second guard added, giving a small salute to Anonymous before stepping toward the door.
The mares quickly stepped into the dining room, leaving Javelin and Anon alone in the corridor.
"Welp, let's get after it. Those beers aren't gonna drink themselves." Javelin announced, turning and heading toward the exit.
"Woah, wait up!" Anon cried, running after the stallion in a hurry.
Celestia and Luna sat patiently at the dining table as they waited for Anon's arrival. Luna rested her head on top of her hoof and tapped her other hoof on the table to pass the time while Celestia kept glancing at the clock every few seconds. The many guards stationed along the edges of the room stared stoically ahead, many of them feeling a sense of unease over the upcoming meeting with the human.
Finally, the doors opened, jolting Luna into an upright position and turning all heads in the room. However, instead of the human that was expected, two guardsmares entered the room. They both quickly saluted the princesses before approaching the dining table.
"Princess, Anonymous has requested that we inform you that he will not be attending breakfast this morning." The first guard explained.
Celestia's head dipped slightly and her wings drooped against her barrel. Luna sighed and slouched into her chair once more.
"He was approached by Sergeant Javelin just before arriving, and after a short exchange, Anonymous agreed to go to a bar with the sergeant." The second guard finished.
Luna sat back up almost instantly, "Anonymous is going out drinking? Again? This early in the day?" She questioned.
"Yes, your highness. Although he did say that he had no intention of getting drunk again. Just that he wanted to have some drinks with someone he considered a friend." The second guard elaborated.
Celestia chewed her cheek in thought for a few moments before addressing the guards again, "Did you catch the name of the bar they were going to?"
"Trailblazers, Princess." The first guard chimed in again.
"So... what should we do? Should we have him brought back?" Luna asked, looking to Celestia.
Celestia shook her head, "No, no. Bringing him back here by force is only going to reinforce his opinion of us. All we can do is hope that the sergeant brings him back here later today and he's willing to talk. You might as well get some sleep, sister. I'm sure that Anonymous will have returned by the time you awake." She replied.
Luna nodded, then yawned, and got out of her chair, "Thank you, sister. I will see you this evening."
"Sleep well, sister. Hopefully everything works out as we intend, tonight." Celestia said, giving a small wave as Luna departed for the day.
Celestia turned to the pair of guards still standing beside her at the table, "Thank you both for informing me. You've both been on duty since the midnight shift, haven't you?" She asked.
"Yes, your highness." The first guard replied.
"You've both done a good job for the night. You are both dismissed. Thank you." Celestia nodded her head in thanks.
"Thank you, Princess!" The guards replied before trotting off out of the dining room.
Celestia smiled as they left, before turning her attention to the rest of the guards in the room.
"Could one of you please find Raven and inform her that I will not be taking any appointments or visits today?" She asked.
"Of course, your highness!" Another guardsmare responded before trotting off to find the secretary.
"Thank you. As for the rest of you, you're all dismissed as well. I will be in my chambers for the rest of the day." Celestia announced as she rose from her seat and made her way for the exit.
The solar alicorn quickly made her way back through the corridors of the castle to her own private bedroom. Once there, she closed and locked the door behind her and removed all of her regalia with her horn. She stepped in front of her large vanity mirror and looked herself over.
"Hmm... now, how did it go again?" Celestia muttered to herself as she furrowed her brow in thought.
After a few moments, she ignited her horn, casting a bright white light all around her body. Her form slowly changed as the spell intensified. Her height changed first, bringing her down to a normal height for an adult mare. Her wings slowly shrunk and disappeared into her withers until there was nothing there, leaving only a unicorn horn on top of her head. Lastly, her mane and tail retracted to a length that was much more manageable for a mare of her new size.
When the light finally faded, instead of the tall, elegant, alicorn with a waving rainbow mane and tail, there stood a slightly above average height unicorn mare. Her coat was a soft white with a small hue of pink on all of her legs. Her mane and tail were a deep red with a single streak of yellow that ran just under her long horn. When she opened her eyes, those same magenta pools of color stared back at her through the mirror, and the mare smiled.
"Well, I don't think even I remember the last time I looked like this. Have to say, I missed the yellow." Celestia smirked, eyeing herself in the mirror.
The now-unicorn mare walked over to her balcony and looked down on Canterlot with curious eyes.
"Now... where is that bar?" She muttered to herself.
"It's in the lower district... so it should be somewhere... ah! There it is." She beamed, looking at the distant logo of her destination.
Without another word, the alicorn-turned-unicorn teleported out of sight.
Javelin and Anon walked through the busy streets of the lower district as crowds surged back and forth to different vendors and buildings along the street. While Javelin struggled to find his way through the dense crowd of ponies, Anon simply stepped over them, earning more than a few strange and confused looks in the process.
"Ah, I can't see anything through this crowd! Can you see the sign?" Javelin inquired, looking up to Anon.
"Yeah. It's right over there." He replied, pointing down the street.
"Alright, I'll just teleport us the rest of the way." Javelin replied, his horn lighting up in a blue hue.
"No wait don't-" Anon shouted, only to be cut off as Javelin teleported them both down the street.
They both reappeared in a flash, Javelin landing easily on his hooves while Anon quickly fell to his knees.
"-do that..." Anon mumbled as he struggled to keep himself from vomiting.
"Oh dang... forgot to ask if you're good with teleporting." Javelin sheepishly admitted as he awkwardly scratched the back of his neck.
Anon continued to dry heave and groan on his knees while Javelin took to apologetically patting him on the back with his hoof. Several curious eyes turned their way, a few ponies even stopping to see if Anon was alright. Javelin gave them all a grateful shake of his head or a polite dismissal before they left, and Anon was able to finally stand up again.
"Ugh... why do you ponies never ask before teleporting someone? Fuck's sake I had to puke so bad but I didn't have anything to throw up." Anon rubbed his temples.
"Yeah... sorry about that. I'll be sure to keep it in mind for next time. On the bright side, we're here!" Javelin exclaimed, pointing to the bar.
A bright neon sign in aggressive lettering read 'Trailblazers Bar and Grill' on a fiery red building. Patrons of the bar were seated outside enjoying the food as well as some of the drinks under batwing themed umbrellas. Anon eyed the building curiously as Javelin started heading to the front door.
"Come on, dude!" Javelin called.
"Y-yeah, yeah. I'm coming, hold on." Anon called back as he quickly jogged to catch up with Javelin.
The stallion and man soon found themselves in the foyer of the building. A unicorn hostess with blue fur and curly red hair greeted them with a smile.
"Hiya! Welcome to Trailblazers! Would you stallions like the bar or the dining area?" She asked with a chipper tone in her voice.
"We'll be good at the bar." Javelin replied.
"We can still get food over there, right? I'm starving." Anon inquired.
"Sure ya can! Just let the bartender know and she'll take your order to the kitchen." The hostess answered.
"Perfect. Let's go then." Anon smiled.
"Right this way." She replied, her horn quickly glowing with a red aura as she picked up two menus from behind her stand.
The hostess easily led the duo through the entrance and to the mostly empty bar. Heavily distorted hard rock blared from several speakers in and around the bar, although there was nopony on the dance floor. A few mares were drinking here and there at the different booths, but aside from a lone mare sitting at the bar, Anon and Javelin had it to themselves. The hostess deposited the menus on two empty seats at the center of the bar and departed with a smile.
With their escort gone, Anon and Javelin sat down beside one another and inspected their menus. Javelin quickly made up his mind and sat down as Anon continued to search for a few extra minutes.
"So, anything catch your eye?" Javelin asked, elbowing Anon in the ribs lightly.
"Uh... I don't know. I can't eat most of the stuff on here and the stuff I can eat is probably gonna taste like shit to me... no offense." Anon replied, setting the menu down with a frown.
Javelin gave him a lopsided look, "I wasn't talking about the food."
Anon cocked an eyebrow back, "You weren't? Then what were you talking about?" He asked.
"I mean..." Javelin trailed off nodding with his head toward the mare sitting a few seats away from Anon.
"Dude, you alright? You look like you've got a pinched nerve right now." Anon squinted in confusion.
Javelin facehoofed and sighed heavily, "Celestia, you haven't been to a bar before, have you?"
"I have!" Anon replied, defensively, "Just not, you know... here." He gestured to the world around him as a whole.
"Right, right... and stallions in your world do things so much differently in the bars back home, right?" Javelin deadpanned.
"Well, actually now that you mention it, stallions here kinda act like women back home and the mares kinda act like men. It's really weird to me since-" Anon began.
"Faust's sake, Anon! Look to your right." Javelin interrupted, sounding completely done with the situation.
Anon held his hands up in mock surrender before turning his head to the right and seeing one of the most beautiful mares he'd ever seen in his entire life. Her coat was a brilliant white with pink fur that almost resembled socks on all of her legs. On her shapely flank, there was a sun with rays of light beaming down onto the ground below. Her mane and tail were a deep shade of sunset red with a single streak of yellow. She had a pair of brilliant magenta eyes, and a warm smile on her pretty face as she glanced over in Anon's direction.
Anon immediately felt his heart thump in his chest and he simply stared, wide-eyed at the gorgeous mare that was sitting just a few seats away from him and smiling at him as if he was someone she knew. He gulped nervously before holding up a hand and waving just once and earning one of the most gorgeous sounds he'd ever heard in his life. The mare across from him giggled. Her charming voice sounded like Christmas bells and sent a shiver down his spine as Anon's thought's immediately returned to happy times when he was a child.
Anon awkwardly cleared his throat before quickly turning back to Javelin.
"Nope, can't do it." He said, firmly.
"What!? Why the hay not? Look at her, she's clearly into you dude! Plus she's absolutely gorgeous." Javelin replied.
"Okay, several questions. First, why are you pushing me to go flirt with other mares when I just agreed to marry Celestia and Luna yesterday? Weren't you in the dining room to hear them say that I can't be with other mares?" Anon whisper-shouted.
"I was standing outside. I didn't hear most of what you talked about until you started yelling. Speaking of which, I seem to recall you saying that you were backing out of that arrangement. Which, I totally understand. From what I understand of the situation, I totally agree with your decision. What the princesses were asking of you wasn't fair." Javelin replied, holding his hooves up in a placating manner.
Anon tilted his head to the side in confusion, "So... so why are you trying to get me to flirt with that mare?"
"Well, duh? To help you feel better. I told you, you looked super down after what happened. Besides, I didn't tell you to flirt with her, I just pointed her out to you." Javelin answered.
"W-well... I haven't really told the sister's for sure that I'm out, yet. I was going to at breakfast, but then you pulled me aside and I figured 'fuck it', I might as well enjoy the day before I go make the princesses hate me for the rest of my life." Anon replied, resting his elbows on the bar and holding his head in his hands.
"Eh, I wouldn't worry too much about it. Luna might come off a bit aggressively, but she's actually a total sweetheart. As for Celestia, she wouldn't hold a grudge with anyone. She's too kind for that. I wouldn't be too worried about it." Javelin shrugged, patting Anon on the back reassuringly.
"You sound like you're best pals with them." Anon muttered.
"Well, you stand guard around them for years on end, and you start to get a feel for how they operate. Trust me, I'm not friends with either of them, but I have seen them behind closed doors. They're not as intimidating as everypony likes to think. Deep down... I think they're really just a couple of mares that try their best with the situation they have." Javelin shrugged.
Anon chewed his tongue in thought for a few moments. He furrowed his brow and glanced down to the bar as he thought over what Javelin said, only to be interrupted by a light tap on his right shoulder. Anon quickly looked up, finding the gorgeous white unicorn mare now sitting on the stool next to him.
"Is this seat taken?" She asked, her voice smooth as silk.
"Uh... n-no. It's all yours." Anon stuttered, shocked by the sudden proximity.
"Perfect!" She chirped, "I'm Sunshine, by the way. What's your name?" Sunshine asked, giving Anon a curious look.
"A-Anon. Uh, nice to meet you, Sunshine... This is my buddy, Javelin." Anon hesitantly replied, turning to his left to find that Javelin was gone.
"Hmm, is he your imaginary friend?" Sunshine teased.
Anon quickly looked back and forth for the stallion but could not find a trace of him. He bit his lip and sighed before turning back to the beautiful mare beside him.
"No, no... He was the pony that walked in with me. Guess he decided to leave me here to make an ass out of myself." Anon chuckled.
"An... Ass? Can your species turn into a donkey or something?" Sunshine asked, clearly perplexed.
"What? N-no. It's just a figure of speech. Sorry, forget I said anything," Anon awkwardly scratched the back of his neck, "A-anyway, what's uh... what's going on?" He asked with a nervous smile.
Sunshine giggled behind her hoof once more, "You're cute when you're nervous. I was wondering if I could buy you a drink. Maybe hear what it's like being an alien." She replied, making Anon blush hard.
"Uh, I... well... I suppose that would be okay..." Anon rubbed the back of his neck.
"You sound unsure." Sunshine teased.
"W-well, I guess I'm just used to being the one buying drinks for the pretty girl. Not really used to girls buying drinks for me. Feels kinda weird." Anon admitted.
"A good weird, or a bad weird?" Sunshine inquired, offering a sympathetic half-smile.
"Eh... I'm not sure yet. Still getting used to this place, even after the last year." Anon shrugged.
"Well, how about this? You let me buy you a drink, and then I'll let you buy me one. Sound good?" Sunshine asked.
Anon smiled, "You know what, I think I'd be okay with that. I'm not sure where Jav went, so I guess I got nobody else to drink with... at ten in the morning." He chuckled.
Sunshine smiled and nodded before turning to the bartender, "Excuse me, can we get a couple hard ciders?"
"Of course. Coming right up." The bartender replied before quickly pouring the two drinks and levitating them onto the bar.
Anon grabbed his mug as Sunshine picked hers up in her magical aura. He hesitated for a second to watch Sunshine as she brought the mug to her lips and took a deep gulp of the amber liquid. Anon starred in fascinated shock until she brought her mug down to the bar and licked her lips. As she turned to look at him once more, Anon quickly brought his mug to his lips and took an equally large swig.
The burning sensation of the alcohol combined with the citrusy flavor of sweetened apples warmed his throat as he drank down the cider. Anon placed the mug down on the bar with a small sigh and looked back at Sunshine with a small smile.
"So, what brings a tall, strange looking stallion like you to a place like this?" Sunshine asked, resting her elbow on the bar and her head on her hoof.
Anon shook his head, "A lot of things, really. Mostly just trying to get away from the stress of today, I guess."
Sunshine tilted her head to the side, "What's so stressful about today?"
"Well... you saw what happened yesterday, didn't you? I'm supposed to marry Celestia and Luna. We did our vows and everything. There was a huge crowd and I'm pretty sure every pony in Equestria knows I exist now." Anon replied.
"I... can't say I recall. I've been traveling a lot lately and haven't heard much news from Canterlot. Is-isn't this good news though?" Sunshine somewhat awkwardly asked.
"I mean, sure... I don't know, I probably shouldn't be talking about it." Anon sighed dejectedly.
Sunshine watched as Anon's expression turned from a pleasant smile to outright depressed in a matter of milliseconds. She watched as his posture slouched, his grip on his drink loosened, and his eyes fell to the floor beneath his feet. Almost a minute of silence passed by as she contemplated what to do or say before making up her mind.
Anon felt a soft hoof gently touch his hand, and he slowly looked up to see pink fur as Sunshine held his hand with her hoof.
"You can tell me. I think I can help you out." Sunshine offered, a determined smile on her face.
Author's Note
Never trust strange mares you run into at the bar... unless they're cute as hell, then they get a pass ;)
All's Fair in Love and War
"How exactly do you plan on doing that?" Anon asked, cocking an eyebrow back.
Sunshine scooted her chair just a tad closer to Anon's, an effort which did not go unnoticed by the puzzled human.
"If you tell me what issues you have with marrying the princesses, I'll see if there's anything I can do to help fix it." Sunshine offered, a small smile on her muzzle.
"How exactly would you do that?" Anon inquired, taking another swig of his cider.
"Well... let's just say that I happen to have some pull with the princesses. I've known Celestia my whole life. I'm sure that I can persuade both of them to fix whatever issues are troubling you." Sunshine explained.
"I'm... not sure if I trust you enough to tell you that kind of information. I don't know anything about you. If I told you that, and you... I dunno, tried to use that against the princesses, they'd probably slit my throat or something." Anon shook his head.
Sunshine blanched, "W-what!? No! Nopony would do that to you!" She exclaimed, grabbing Anon's arm with her hoof.
Anon jumped slightly at the sudden touch, but quickly realized just how nice the contact felt. He awkwardly scratched his temple with his free hand as Sunshine continued to stare at him like he'd just told her his puppy died.
"I give you my word that anything you tell me, I'd only use to help. I want nothing but the best for Equestria."
"Well the problem there is that your definition of helping and mine are probably two different things." Anon sighed.
"Are you sure about that?" Sunshine asked.
"Look... I don't really know you, and I'm really not trying to-" Anon began.
"Is it that you and the princesses don't really love each other?" Sunshine interrupted.
Anon paused, furrowed his brow, and pursed his lips, "Was it that obvious?" He asked.
"Honestly... it seemed pretty obvious to me. I'm sure most of Equestria feels the same. You know how it is with the papers and such. They may say something but we all know that they're owned by the princesses so they just write whatever they have to to make them look good. I think pretty much everypony saw how upset Luna got." Sunshine replied, offering a sympathetic pat on Anon's shoulder.
Anon frowned as his eyes fell to the floor, "Guess it was pretty obvious, huh?"
"Even if it was obvious that they don't love you right now , that doesn't mean that by the wedding day, they still won't." Sunshine offered.
Anon laughed exactly once and shook his head, "I'm pretty sure Luna will have me executed by then if I'm being honest."
Sunshine's face immediately contorted into one of alarm, "What!? No! Luna would never do that!" She exclaimed.
Anon leaned back from her outburst, "Uh... it was just a joke." He said.
Sunshine immediately deflated, "Oh my goodness... I'm sorry, I just... I don't want you to think that anypony would ever do something like that to you."
Anon scratched the back of his neck, "Uh, sorry. Still getting used to you ponies' sense of humor. Mine's a lot darker." He offered, with a nervous chuckle.
"I understand, but please don't say things like that! I promise that nopony would ever hurt you like that." Sunshine pressed as she grabbed a hold of Anon's arm with her hooves once more.
"T-thanks. I'll try to not make jokes like that anymore. Just a hard habit to break." Anon replied.
Sunshine finally let go of Anon's arm and sat upright in her chair with that beautiful smile once more.
"Thank you. I'm glad to hear that. Now, please tell me what's bothering you. I'll do what I can to help." Sunshine said.
Anon sighed and looked down into his drink. He swirled the cider around a few times before taking another swig and putting the mug back down on the bar.
"Well... I guess it couldn't hurt to tell you. Not like most of Canterlot hasn't already figured it out." Anon admitted.
"What's that?" Sunshine pressed, clearly invested in the conversation.
"Well... Celestia just kinda picked me out of a room and said I was marrying her. It's not that I'm super opposed... maybe if she'd done that a year ago I would have been up in arms about it, but after a year of knowing that I'm never going home and that I'll never see another person of my species again..." Anon sighed heavily, "Well let's just say that I've grown pretty okay with the idea of being with one of you ponies for the rest of my life."
"You just wish it wasn't her." Sunshine finished for him, a slightly dejected look in her eyes.
"Not at all," Anon replied, making Sunshine do a double take, "Her and Luna are absolutely gorgeous. Just... stunningly beautiful. Also they're a bit closer to my size so I'd feel more like I was hugging an adult, not a child." Anon chuckled.
The ever so faint traces of a blush creeped onto Sunshine's cheeks before Anon continued.
"She's basically the mother of an entire nation, I mean... don't you ponies all look up to her like some kind of goddess? I bet she has some massive mommy milkers between those legs..." Anon trailed off.
"Sorry, what was that last part?" Sunshine inquired, an ear flicking in Anon's direction.
"Nothing, nothing. Sorry. Lost my train of thought for a moment there. Anyways... Yeah, Celestia is stunning, and when she picked me, I was shocked. I couldn't believe it... course, I was right not to. She doesn't really feel anything for me at all. Not even a tiny base level of attraction. She's just using me to get the thirsty stallions off her back." Anon dejectedly sighed.
Sunshine's ears splayed back as her gaze drifted to the bar, and then down to the floor. Anon took another gulp of his cider, draining the rest of the glass before giving Sunshine a sidelong glance.
"Course, the worst part is that Celestia is the nice one. Luna ... Jesus." Anon shook his head.
Sunshine cringed ever so slightly, "W-what's so bad about Luna?" She asked.
"Luna plain straight hates me. From the moment I walked into the castle, she's been nothing but hostile... maybe she's just protective of her sister, or maybe she's just angry at the situation and decides to take it out on me... or hell, maybe she really does just hate me for no good reason. I don't know, take your pick. Either way, it doesn't matter. She's pretty much made it clear that she doesn't want anything to do with me." Anon recalled, staring into his empty glass.
Sunshine rubbed her foreleg with her hoof, "W-well... have you told either of them that?" She asked.
Anon laughed out loud, "Are you kidding? The second they don't need me they're gonna throw me out and leave me to rot. Besides, we already had our falling out last night. I'm sure they're working double overtime to find some pony to replace me right now. Regardless, the final straw was them telling me that I have to die alone if I'm with them. They don't love me, and no pony else can be in my life either."
"I didn't!" Sunshine started, before coughing and clearing her throat, "I mean, I didn't know they gave you parameters like that... are you certain that they absolutely forbid you from finding another mare?" She asked.
"Celestia was pretty clear. If I want to be with another mare, she has to be completely kept secret. No wedding, no honeymoon, no public affection, just everything behind closed doors. Chances of finding a mare willing to do that... zilch." Anon shook his head.
Sunshine pursed her lips, "You don't know that for sure." She asserted.
"I think I can make an educated assumption." Anon shrugged.
"But what if the sisters were willing to change?" Sunshine asked.
"Fat chance of that." Anon mirthlessly chuckled.
"What if I proved you wrong?" Sunshine declared.
Anon cocked an eyebrow back, "How would you even do that?" He asked.
"Head back to the castle and talk to the princesses whenever you're done here. I'll talk with them, and I think you might find that the princesses are more willing to change than you think." Sunshine offered.
"Well when you put it like that, it sounds like you're some kind of mafia boss that has the princesses under your control," Anon surmised, before shaking his head, "B-but forget it, it's not worth your time. I've already made up my mind. If I'm going back to the castle, it's to tell them that I'm done being used."
"What if you gave it one more day? Just hear me out. One more day to see if I'm right and the princesses are willing to change. I promise you that they either don't know, or just don't understand how much what they're doing is hurting you."
Anon pursed his lips as he considered Sunshine's offer. He briefly looked down into his empty mug before sighing quietly to himself and looking at the alabaster unicorn once more.
"I... suppose one more day couldn't hurt too much. I have to ask though... why do you care so much?" Anon asked, his brow furrowed in curiosity.
That gave Sunshine pause, and she fumbled over her words for just a moment before catching herself and clearing her throat.
"You seem like a genuinely good stallion. What's happened to you wasn't fair, and I want to help you because it's what I do. Just give me a day, and I think your problems with the royal sister's will be resolved." Sunshine assured, a winning smile adorning her face.
Anon chuckled, "If you say so. You ponies are always so eager to help complete strangers. Back on my world, that's how you ended up getting mugged, or worse."
Sunshine frowned.
"Sorry, sorry. Force of habit." Anon said, waving a hand dismissively.
Sunshine smiled once more, "Alright then... I think I have this Sunday off. Do you think you can meet me then so I can rub it in your face just how right I was?" She grinned.
Anon's eyes widened, "Y-you want to hang out with me again?" He asked, surprise clear in his voice.
"Well of course I do. I've got something to prove now." Sunshine teased.
Anon shook his head in disbelief, "Wow... uh, sure. Yeah, I think I can slip away on Sunday. W-who knows? If you're right, then maybe that does open some doors for me that I thought were closed." He replied, a trace of a blush forming on his features.
Sunshine beamed, "Glad to hear it. How's about we meet at the Grand Park up on the middle district?"
Anon nodded, "I think I can manage that. I'll, uh... I'll see you then, Sunshine." He smiled.
"Not if I see you first." Sunshine winked before drinking the rest of her cider in one gulp and hopping off her barstool.
Anon stared in awe as the lithe mare trotted over to the bartender and gave them more than enough bits to cover the two ciders a few times over and a tip. She headed to the doorway and waved goodbye before departing the bar entirely, and leaving Anon speechless.
Anon stared after her for a moment before a realization hit him, "W-wait! I was supposed to buy you a drink too!" He called after her, but the unicorn was gone before his words could reach her, leaving him stumped.
Anon simply stared after her for a few more moments before slowly turning around in his chair to face the bar once more, "Holy hell... I think I just fell in love." He whispered.
"I'd be disappointed if you didn't." Javelin replied, suddenly sitting on Sunshine's barstool next to Anon.
"Whatthefuckwhy?!" Anon exclaimed as he jumped off of his stool.
Javelin just chuckled as Anon almost fell over. The tall man quickly regained his balance and turned on the unicorn who now had two trays of food in his magical grasp.
"Where the hell did you go? Why didn't you say anything? Where did you get that food? Fuck I forgot I'm still hungry as shit." Anon rattled off, gesturing wildly with his hands.
"Well, to answer those in order, I saw that gorgeous mare giving you the look, so I gave you some space to work your magic and get some tail. Good job on that by the way, you handled it pretty well for being a stuttering mess," Javelin winked as Anon frowned, "-As for the second question, refer to my first answer. Thirdly, I ordered it in the restaurant section of the building. Figured while you were talking, I could at least get us some food." He answered, matter-of-factly.
Anon rubbed his temples, "Ugh... don't leave me hanging like that dude. I don't know what the hell to say to mares. Most of them end up just ignoring me or shutting me down pretty quick."
"Maybe, but did that happen this time?" Javelin asked, setting the trays down in front of both him and Anon.
"I mean... no. Sunshine was actually... really nice. Like, she wanted to talk to me and listen to what I had to say. She wanted to help with the whole situation with me and the princesses," Anon explained, looking down at the tray, "Is this what I think it is?"
"If you think they're mozzarella sticks, then yes. As for that mare, how much did you tell her, exactly?" Javelin inquired, raising an eyebrow.
"I didn't tell her anything more than what I'm sure is obvious to every pony in Canterlot. The princesses just picked me to dodge the law Celestia forgot existed. I didn't explain any further than that." Anon admitted, before looking down at the fried cheese sticks, his mouth watering.
Javelin sighed, "You need to be careful who you share that info with. While a lot of Canterlot can surely tell that the princesses don't love you, a lot of ponies can't. Not to mention, there are a ton of ponies that want info like that so they can use it against the princesses. Are you sure you could trust her with that kind of information?" He questioned, giving Anon a critical look.
It was Anon's turn to sigh, "I don't know, man... I just... I felt like I could trust her. She literally guessed that the sisters don't love me and told me that it was pretty obvious. Everything I told her she pretty much already knew." He admitted.
Javelin shrugged, "Alright then. If you're sure she could be trusted, then I'm not one to go around complaining about who you share your love life with. Just make sure to keep the more... illicit secrets as just that. Secret." He said, before biting into a mozzarella stick.
"I know, I know. I'll keep their dirty little secret." Anon acknowledged as he also dug into his food.
Later That Night
Sunshine teleported back onto her balcony, and quickly made her way to her vanity mirror. She recast the transformation spell once more, a white light of energy radiating from her horn and engulfing her form in the process. After a few moments, the shorter and more lithe unicorn mare named Sunshine grew and changed into the tall, regal Princess Celestia. As the light faded, the solar diarch eyed herself in the mirror, ensuring that none of the details from her alter ego lingered on her true form.
Once she was satisfied with herself, the princess trotted back over to her balcony and looked over to the slowly setting sun.
"Just need a little push over the edge, and then I can go speak with Luna." She whispered to herself.
Celestia's aura surrounded her horn as she gently guided the sun down its last dredges and down the horizon. As she worked, the alabaster alicorn looked over to the opposing tower to see her sister as she worked to raise the moon. Once their respective celestial bodies were in place, and their horns no longer lit, Celestia turned to face her sister.
"You've been away most of the day, sister. I assume everything with Anonymous is alright." Luna inquired, a stark amount of reserved yet somewhat fearful curiosity in her tone.
"I talked with Anonymous in my old form, from before I ascended." Celestia replied, nodding.
"Your old form? Celestia, I don't think anypony in Equestria remembers what you looked like twelve hundred years ago." Luna chuckled.
"Exactly. It worked as a perfect disguise. Anonymous didn't suspect it was me at all." Celestia smiled.
"That is good. What did you say to him? How is he?" Luna pressed.
"He... he isn't well, Luna. I'm afraid we've done a terrible job of communicating with the poor human. Worse, I fear that he's grown to resent and hate us based entirely off of a day spent with us at our worst." Celestia sighed.
Luna frowned, "I... hoped not to hear that. I imagine he's even less fond of me ." She morosely murmured.
Celestia bit her lip, "He... well he joked... that you were more than likely to have him executed before we even reach our wedding day. I think... I think he fears you a fair amount." She admitted.
Luna winced, "There I go again... hurting the creatures around me... making them scared to be near me."
Celestia quickly teleported to her sister's side and draped a wing over her back, "Now, now sister. Fear not. I do bear good news as well."
Luna looked up to Celestia, her eyes misty, "What news is that?"
"I was able to convince Anonymous to give us a second chance." Celestia said.
Luna's expression lightened immediately, "Really?"
"Yes. Although, we do have many things to discuss in order to fulfill our part of the bargain." Celestia nodded.
"What things?" Luna questioned.
"Firstly, I believe that allowing him to date mares outside of us is vital to his mental health. If this arrangement is to continue, we must ensure Anonymous understands that he is allowed to be with any mare of his choosing that wants to be with him, not only us. We will simply need to work harder to ensure news doesn't break about his 'secret' relationships." Celestia explained.
"But sister... if Anonymous is caught with another mare, that could spell disaster for us. Stallions could demand that the marriage be annulled due to his adultery." Luna pressed.
"We could simply say that he's scouting potential mares to add to our herd." Celestia offered.
"And you think that the stallions of Canterlot would accept that without throwing a fit?" Luna raised an eyebrow.
Celestia shook her head, "I'm not saying it's perfect... but I do know that neither of us love Anonymous... and I don't want him to have to give up a chance at love just for our sake. If letting him date another mare while he's married to us keeps him happy, then I think it's a price I am willing to pay. Besides, the stallions of Canterlot can throw a fit all they like. As long as Anonymous isn't breaking any laws or marriage bonds, they can't do anything." She explained.
Luna contemplated her sister's words for a few moments as the moon slowly rose into the night sky. The last dredges of sunlight faded away, leaving a dotted sky of brilliant stars to paint the landscape that was the evening skyline.
"I... suppose that does make sense. If you are absolutely sure that we can keep the nobles from starting a riot, then I trust your judgment." Luna said.
"They won't be able to do anything about it, no matter how badly they might want to. Thank you, Luna. I think we've finally figured out a way to make this work where we are all happy." Celestia happily replied, gently nuzzling her sister's cheek.
Luna smiled from the affection before Celestia pulled away, "Are you sure that Anonymous will accept these terms, Tia? Last night he seemed to be completely finished with us... not that I blame him."
Celestia shook her head, "It took some convincing, but with some finesse, I managed to get him to talk to me and trust me. He'll give us a second chance."
"Should we be concerned that you did that in just a few short hours?" Luna cautiously asked, raising an eyebrow.
Celestia chuckled, "I wouldn't be too concerned. I simply probed with information I already knew the answer to. He was very tight-lipped. I think that given some formal training, he'd make an excellent prince."
"That is good to hear," Luna breathed a sigh of relief, "I was worried that he'd be all too eager to spill our secrets to the world."
"No, nothing like that. As far as I can tell... he genuinely does not wish to cause damage to our reputations or lives. He simply wants to be able to live his life on his terms. Something I can understand and respect." Celestia explained.
"I see." Luna nodded.
"That does actually bring me to my second point. You really must stop using the old Canterlotian around Anonymous. If he's to be our prince, you will have to become acquainted with him. That means treating him as your equal, regardless of how much more power you actually hold than him." Celestia continued.
Luna sighed, "I... I know. I am sorry. I've only been back for a year and some change, and adjusting to every new law and cultural shift is challenging for me. Maybe I'm stuck in my old ways in some regards, but I do not want to make Anonymous miserable. I know all too well what it's like being the only one of your kind in an unfamiliar place." She replied, her head hung low.
Celestia nuzzled her sister's neck once more. The smaller alicorn murmured softly from the affectionate gesture before Celestia pulled away.
"I know you've been trying, and I am so proud of you. You've managed to overcome immense hardship and still be the loving pony I knew all the way back a thousand years ago. You just have a few... hurdles to still overcome, but more than anything, you have my thanks for being willing to change." Celestia smiled.
Luna felt a blush creep onto her cheeks, and she bashfully hid behind her mane as Celestia giggled softly.
"Thank you sister. Was there anything else about Anonymous that I should know?" Luna asked, leaving the safety of her mane.
"Just one last thing. This does coincide with the second point as well. I understand if you wouldn't be comfortable doing it just yet, or ever, but I do think that there is much to be gained by learning more about Anonymous." Celestia replied.
Luna tilted her head to the side, "What are you saying, sister?"
"I was hoping that you would consider spending time with him, outside of our required duties, much like I did today. I think you'll find that the two of you have more in common than you'd think. Not to mention, it would help him to have more friends. I know that friendship is doing wonders for my student down in Ponyville." Celestia explained.
Luna's muzzle scrunched up in confusion, "Sister... are you asking me to woo Anonymous?"
Celestia blanched, "No! I mean... if you want to, then by all means, but I'm simply suggesting that we spend more time with him. If you're uncomfortable with doing it because of the last couple of days, then use a disguise like I did. Anonymous had no idea he was talking to me today, he just thought he was speaking with a mare named 'Sunshine'." She hastily corrected.
"So... I should use my old form just like you did?" Luna asked.
Celestia brought her hoof to her chin in thought, "Well... considering that nopony recognized me, and you're even harder to find references to in the history books, at least before your ascension, I think that would be a perfect disguise."
Luna thought over her sister's offer for a few moments before a knock on the door made them both pause. The lunar alicorn hastily cleared her throat and spoke.
"Yes? What is it?"
"Dinner, Princesses. The chefs are ready and awaiting your orders." A voice called back through the door.
Celestia nodded, "Very well. We shall be in the dining room momentarily."
"Of course, your highness." The voice replied.
"Will Anonymous be joining us?" Luna inquired as both she and Celestia ignited their horns.
"I believe so. Are you ready to speak with him?" Celestia replied.
"Of course."
The sisters disappeared with a *pop* and reappeared in the dining room. The guards stationed all around the room quickly snapped to attention and saluted as the alicorns found their seats. Once they were sitting, Luna glanced around the room curiously.
"I don't see Anonymous anywhere." She stated.
Celestia looked around the room as well and frowned before waving one of the guards over.
"Yes, Princess!" The guardsmare said upon trotting up to the solar alicorn.
"Lieutenant, did Anonymous return to his room?" Celestia inquired.
"He hasn't returned at all yet, Princess." The lieutenant responded.
Celestia frowned.
"That can't be good."
Author's Note
I've noticed in the comments that a lot of you are super peeved at Celestia and Luna. They're trying their best
All's Fair in Love and War
The Next Morning
Anon woke up with a tired groan as the sound of a blender raked at his ears. He yawned loudly as he stretched his arms and legs under the blanket he was covered with. Once he was nice and stretched, the sleepy human sat up in the couch he'd slept on and looked around his surroundings.
He was in a modest living room, filled with only the bare essentials of furniture. Aside from the couch he was now sitting on, there was only another armchair beside the fire place in the center of the room, and some hardwood floors to keep him company. Anon lazily got to his feet and scratched his back as he made his way over to the window on the far side of the room.
Outside, he could only see a garden and the fence of the relatively small backyard of the house he was in. A few roses and tulips lined the fence-line, along with a row of watermelons, carrots, potatoes, and turnips all neatly planted in the center of the yard. Past the fence, Anon could only make out more houses with similar sized square-shaped yards and gardens.
With a shrug, Anon turned around and headed toward the hallway. Once there, he walked just a few steps to the kitchen, finding Javelin sitting in the connected dining room. He was sipping at a Bloody Mary held delicately in his hooves while his blanket was still wrapped around his barrel and head, forming a hood to cover most of his face.
"You look about as bad as I feel." Anon mumbled as he walked into the kitchen and sat down in the chair across from Javelin.
The unicorn stallion took one more sip from his drink before sighing heavily, "Yeah... I guess we probably should've left after the fifth beer."
"This is exactly why I don't drink... Always say something like 'just one beer' and then end up having twelve." Anon shook his head, wincing as the motion rattled his brain.
Javelin nodded, "Honestly I'm impressed you managed to down twelve of those. Even for your size, I'd have expected you to only finish about eight."
"You callin' me fat?" Anon chuckled.
"Eh, I haven't known you long enough to know what a fat human looks like. As far as I can tell, you're decently proportioned." Javelin shrugged.
"Thanks. I'm glad I'm at least decently proportioned." Anon deadpanned as he rolled his eyes.
"What? That was a compliment." Javelin offered.
"A backhanded one."
"Eh, maybe, but you need someone to keep you from getting all high and mighty. Wouldn't want all that consortly power going to your head, now would we?" Javelin grinned.
"I guess not," Anon chuckled, before wincing as his head throbbed, "Did I do anything dumb last night? Twelve beers is getting kinda close to blackout drunk me, and he's a problem." He inquired.
Javelin shook his head, "Nah, although you did end up headbutting the door on the way out and shouting a bunch. Pretty tame as far as I'm concerned."
"Ah, that would explain the headache." Anon acknowledged.
"Yep. I had to get us out of there before the bartenders called a guard or ponice officer to escort you back to the princesses." Javelin replied.
"Oh shit, that's right. We totally forgot to go back to the castle last night... I hope Celestia and Luna aren't pissed." Anon muttered, his brow furrowing in concern.
"I'm sure they're more concerned than anything, but you do have a point. We should head back to the castle as soon as we can. You might have been able to get away with taking one day off, but taking two in a row is gonna cause more trouble than it's worth." Javelin replied, taking another sip of his drink.
"Can I get one of those? This headache is killing me." Anon asked, messaging his temples.
Javelin's horn lit up as he levitated another bloody mary from the kitchen to Anon's waiting grasp. Just as the glass reached his hand, Javelin's horn sparked and fizzled out, prompting the stallion to curse quietly under his breath and rub the offending appendage with his hoof.
"What happened?" Anon inquired before taking a sip.
"Trying to cast a spell when you have a hangover hurts. Probably would have been easier to tell you to go get it yourself, hehe." Javelin chuckled.
Anon laughed, "Yeah, but why get up when I have a super cool unicorn bro that can just get it for me from across the room?" He joked.
"Because next time the drink is liable to slip from my magic and spill all over the floor. If that happens, you're cleaning it up." Javelin replied with a smirk before going back to his drink.
The pair quickly finished their drinks in comfortable silence before placing the glasses in the sink and heading toward the bathroom.
"I'll be honest, I don't think you'll fit in my shower. If you want to try to cram in there, I'm sure you could probably wash yourself, but it'd be tight." Javelin mentioned as he headed into his bedroom.
"That's alright. You go ahead and shower. I'll just take mine when we get back to the castle. I need to wash these anyways... Still need to buy more clothes." Anon replied, taking a seat on the couch as Javelin nodded and headed to his shower.
Anon took to quietly twiddling his thumbs to pass the time while Javelin quickly showered. Once he was finished and presentable, he walked back into the living room.
"Alright, ready to go?" Javelin asked.
"Ready as I'm gonna be. I don't suppose you could just teleport us all the way back, could you?" Anon inquired.
"As convenient as that would be, I'm afraid I do not have the magical ability to teleport both myself and a creature of your size that far. Hay, I can only teleport myself short distances. I'm much better at shooting things. Much more fun than just popping over there." Javelin replied, pointing out the window to the neighboring house.
"I kinda figured your butt tattoo had something to do shooting stuff. Wasn't quite sure exactly what it was you would be shooting, but I guess you just answered that for me." Anon surmised.
"'Butt tattoo'? You mean my cutie mark?" Javelin questioned.
"Ugh, don't make me say the girly thing. Butt tattoo sounds cooler." Anon shook his head and rolled his eyes.
"It most certainly does not." Javelin slowly shook his head.
"Well, everyone's entitled to their opinions, even if they're wrong," Anon shrugged, making Javelin facehoof, "Anyways, let's go before Luna has me drawn and quartered for missing a day and a half."
Javelin rolled his eyes but opened the front door and led Anon outside regardless. The morning sun happily greeted the human and pony as they stepped out into the Canterlot middle district. The street leading to the main hub of the level was lined with identical houses all the way down to the corner.
"Still surprised you don't live in the barracks." Anon offhandedly mentioned as they walked down the sidewalk.
"The only ponies living in the barracks are the privates and specialists. As soon as you hit sergeant, they move your flank out and give you double the pay for rent." Javelin explained with a shrug.
"Well that's pretty nice at least... who watches the privates and specialists in the barracks though? They must get pretty rowdy in there." Anon commented.
"Oh they do. There's one NCO that has to live there and manage them, but luckily, I didn't draw that short straw. Celestia knows I'd have blown up on those privates a few times over for all the dumb crap they pull." Javelin shook his head.
"Well after the day I just spent with you, I'm surprised to hear you say that. I'd have thought you'd be down to party with your fellow guards after a long week of standing around looking like statues." Anon teased.
"Oh har har. I have a few friends from the guard, but a lot of those mares still think that my rank is just for show. The second I'd have to get them back in line, they'd try to take advantage of what we'd get up to off duty. I'm not risking that. It's fine anyways, I've made friends outside of work." Javelin replied with a friendly smile.
Anon tussled Javelin's mane, "Aww, thanks buddy. Love you too." He joked as he cupped his fingers together to form a heart.
Javelin gave Anon a deadpan look, "I retract my previous statement."
"Aww." Anon held his head low in mock sadness.
Javelin rolled his eyes as they arrived at the corner of the street. With a quick cursory glance left and right, they crossed and headed to the main streets of the middle district. Unlike the lower district, there were only a few stands and marketplaces out along the buildings. More houses and apartments lined the sidewalks than in any other district in the city, making it easy going to travel up the steps and roads to the palace.
The duo quickly made their way through the stone-lined buildings of the middle district and into the marble and porcelain-lined buildings of the upper district in less than twenty minutes. The tall, pearl white pillars of the palace soon met their gaze while they passed through the paved roadways of Canterlot's finest residencies. The guards standing post at the embrasures of the castle walls stared intimidatingly down at Anon and Javelin as they approached the front gate.
Upon arriving, they were immediately met by a squad of guardsmares.
"Consort Anonymous, your presence has been requested immediately by their majesties Princess Celestia and Princess Luna." Lieutenant Valorant curtly announced.
Anon and Javelin shared a look before looking back at the guardsmares.
"I'm... in trouble, aren't I?" Anon asked.
"I was only instructed to find you and bring you back to the princesses, ASAP, sir. We'll escort you." She replied, her expression unchanged.
"Lieutenant, I don't suppose I can come along?" Javelin inquired, directing her gaze to him.
"You're off duty, Sergeant. What you do with your free time is your decision. Although, unless Anonymous requests it, you won't be allowed in with the princesses, and even if he does, if they ask you to leave, you will be escorted out." Lieutenant Valorant responded, coolly.
Javelin nodded and shrugged, "Alright, works for me. Ready to go get yelled at, Anon?" He asked, turning to the tall man.
Anon sighed, "Ready as I'll ever be. Let's go."
"Of course, sir. This way." Lieutenant Valorant replied, turning tail and leading the group into the castle.
The other mares in the squad quickly took to forming a defensive diamond formation around Anon and Javelin. Anon eyed them curiously while Javelin simply ignored the extra security. Together, the group swiftly passed through the castle until arriving at the throne room doors. Once there, the escort splintered off and took up their positions along the wall beside the doorway, with the exception of the lieutenant.
She opened the door and ushered Anon and Javelin through while the rest of the guards stayed at their posts. Once inside, the group saw Celestia and Luna sitting in their thrones at the end of the room, a bored look on both of their faces that changed the second they saw the tall man enter the room. The group hastily walked to the base of the thrones where the lieutenant bowed deeply before the princesses.
"I have returned Anonymous as instructed, Princesses." She spoke.
"Indeed you have. Thank you, lieutenant. You may return to your post. We shouldn't have further need of your talents today." Celestia warmly responded.
"Of course, your highness." Lieutenant Valorant, following up with a crisp salute and an about face before leaving the room.
With the guard gone, that left only Anon, Javelin, Luna, and Celestia in the room, all locked in a silent staredown, where each party struggled to gauge the mood of the others. Celestia detected a slight furrow in Anon's brow, leading her to believe that he was upset, but just as quickly, it was gone and a soft look appeared on his face.
"Anonymous, I... I think we have much to discuss." Celestia began.
"I think I'm inclined to agree, princess." Anon replied, calmly.
"I see you've invited Sergeant Javelin here as well. I take it you two had fun last night?" Celestia said, eyeing the stallion with interest.
Javelin bowed, "We had a good time, your highness, although my being here was not Anon's idea, he just agreed to it. I wanted to come here on my own accord to apologize. I understand that you were expecting him back last night, but we, uh... we got a little hammered and lost track of time." He admitted, chuckling sheepishly.
Celestia offered him a sincere smile, "We both understand. While I was starting to be concerned just a bit this morning, I know Anonymous needed some space and time." She replied, turning her gaze back over to the human.
"Um, yeah... about that, Princess..." Anon trailed off, twiddling his thumbs as he thought for the right words, "I just... I can't... I won't apologize for what I said. Frankly, I'm still upset even now, and I wasn't sure that I could talk to you without turning it into an argument again."
Celestia and Luna both nodded, "Anonymous, I understand, and... I don't blame you. We both greatly appreciate you returning at all. We are the ones who failed to communicate with you and explain this position properly, leading you to believe something that neither of us ever wanted you to think." Celestia responded, a kind look in her eyes.
"What do you mean?" Anon asked.
"When you agreed to be our consort, and eventually our prince, you agreed to marry us. That does mean that if you were to have an adulterous relationship with another mare, the noble stallions of Canterlot could potentially claim that our marriage to you would be annulled, due to your infidelity." Celestia explained, taking note of the steady frown forming on Anonymous's brow.
"However, there is an exception that we would be happy to exploit since it would give you the means to find a mare to settle and be happy with." Luna chimed in, directing Anon's eyes to her.
Anon's frown immediately softened at Luna's words, prompting him to give her his full attention, "What exception is that?"
"We would simply inform the public that you are scouting mares for a potential addition to our herd." Luna elaborated.
"Our... herd?" Anon asked, quizzically.
"Yes, Anonymous. A herd is a fairly common type of relationship here in Equestria. I don't know the exact numbers, but I do recall the census data showing that roughly forty five percent of Equestrians live in a herd, or have lived in one. It would be our legal loophole to allow you to find yourself a mare to marry and be happy with, while still preserving you as our prince. This way, you would be free to be as public as you'd like with your spouse, without fear of the nobles attempting to claim infidelity." Celestia chimed in, directing Anon's eyes to her.
"Okay, that sounds great, but... what about... your relationship? She'd have to keep that a secret too, I assume." Anon replied.
"She needn't even know... Anonymous, we've been utterly terrible to you since I chose you in that court room... and we both wish to make it up to you however we can. If that means that we have to keep our relationship a secret from your spouse, then we will gladly do so. We both want that to be clear. We were wrong, and we want you to be happy. If you trust this future pony enough to share our secret with them, then we would hope that they'd be willing to keep it a secret as well." Celestia replied, firmly.
Anon was slightly taken aback at the princess's words, "That's... a hell of a change from the last time we talked."
Celestia nodded, "I know. It is as I said, neither of us were at our best when we last discussed this. I don't want you to think that we're just using you and throwing you away when we're done with you. You deserve better than that, and we both want to make sure that we're going to help however we can."
Anon slowly nodded, "I... thank you. That's... that really does mean a lot." He said, gratefully.
"Of course, Anonymous. Did you have any other questions?" Celestia replied with a small nod.
"Just one. I still don't really understand what exactly having a 'herd' entails?" Anon asked, cautiously.
Luna cleared her throat, "A herd is what we are now. Two mares and a stallion. While marriage is a common bond between only one mare and stallion, herds tend to marry one to two stallions and several mares. So that would allow you to find another mare for yourself, and once we married her to you, then she would be an accepted member of our herd, and you would not have to be alone as you feared." She explained, a sympathetic look in her eyes.
Anon looked back and forth between each princess for a few moments, "And... you guys didn't just come up with this last night because I left? This is an actual law that is really legit?"
"Of course, just ask Sergeant Javelin if you want confirmation." Celestia suggested.
Anon looked down to Javelin.
"It's true. Honestly I'm surprised you didn't know about that after being here for a year and some change. We saw a few herds last night." Javelin said, offering a small shrug.
"I didn't think they were all dating... friends, maybe, but all one big relationship... honestly I never asked. Ponies haven't exactly been lining up to meet me since I got here and I didn't want to sound creepy by going around asking about dating to random ponies." Anon admitted, sticking his hands in his pockets.
"Well, you needn't worry, Anonymous. I'm sure there are mares out there that would absolutely love to be with you. It's just a matter of finding them now." Celestia offered, supportively.
"Yeah... thanks." Anon replied.
"Anonymous, there is one more thing we... I wish to discuss with you, if you would listen." Luna spoke up.
Anon looked up at the navy blue alicorn with a curiously raised brow, prompting her to continue.
"The past couple of days... I've been incredibly harsh on you, for reasons that were in no way your fault. I've been rude, and extremely hostile toward you for reasons that were purely selfish and unreasonable. The situation frustrated me greatly, and I took my anger out on you. That was wrong of me, and I wish for you to know that I truly do regret the things I've said and done to you. I am sorry." Luna apologized, bowing her head in shame.
As Luna awaited a response, she felt Celestia's wing gently hug her back, and the lunar alicorn looked up to her sister to see her smiling thankfully down at her. Luna returned a small smile before redirecting her gaze to Anon. The man in question looked shocked at the apology, if his wide eyes and slightly parted lips were anything to go off of.
"I... thank you, Princess. I really appreciate that. I, uh... I'm sorry too. What I said about you and Nightmare Moon... it was uncalled for." Anon offered.
"No, Anonymous. You were right in every way. What I was doing and saying was akin to the very thing that I despised most about my past. All you spoke was the truth, and that is what hurt most of all. You have nothing to be forgiven for, but thank you, regardless. Oh, and please, call me Luna. I don't want to be enemies with you anymore." Luna replied, smiling hopefully at Anon.
Anon stared wide-eyed at the lunar alicorn for several moments before he was able to speak again.
"T-thank you... I, uh... I wasn't sure about you, Luna, but... it really means a lot to hear you say that. I, uh... I don't think I can forget the past that quickly, but... I think I'd like to start over with you too, if that's alright." Anon replied, returning a thankful smile.
Luna's eyes lit up with relief, "Oh, thank you, Anonymous. I promise, I'll do what I can to make up for how I treated you."
"Well, for starters, just call me Anon. I really don't like going by my full name. I always assume I'm in trouble." Anon chuckled.
"Of course, Anon." Luna replied.
"Well, while we're getting to know each other on a more personal level, please call me Celestia. I'm not fond of being called 'princess' by those who are considered my equal, or friends." Celestia chimed in.
"I think I can manage that. Thank you, Luna, and Celestia. I'm... honestly surprised that you both came around so quick. Sunshine wasn't kidding." Anon chuckled.
"Ah yes. Sunshine. She gave us quite the earful yesterday after meeting you in the bar." Celestia nodded.
"How do you guys know her? She made it sound like she's known both of you for a long time." Anon tilted his head to the side.
Celestia quickly glanced to her sister, "Well... Sunshine is a very distant relative. The great, great, great granddaughter of one of my old flames. At least, she's related to one of the other mares that was in his herd. The relationship stayed close enough that her family has been good friends with myself and Luna for generations." She explained.
"So... she's basically your great, great, great... step-granddaughter?" Anon asked, a puzzled look on his face.
Celestia sheepishly rubbed her foreleg with her hoof, "Like I said, very distant. It's been years since I've spoken with her. Imagine my shock when she returned yesterday to give me a thorough reprimand for how you've been treated and what distress our poor communication has caused you." She elaborated, an apologetic look on her muzzle.
Anon nodded, "Huh... well, is she still around? I have plans to meet her on Sunday, but I actually really enjoyed talking to her. I'd love to see her again if she's still around the castle."
Luna gave Celestia a strained look, but quickly regained her composure before Anon or Javelin could notice her change in demeanor.
"Um... well... no, she's... she's not in the castle at the moment. My apologies, Anon. I could see about sending for her and getting her to return, although... she's always been a tad aloof, that Sunshine. It might be quicker to just wait for your meeting with her on Sunday. I'm sure she's more than thrilled to see you again." Celestia offered, a weak apologetic smile on her muzzle.
Anon nodded his head, although the disappointment on his features was impossible to miss.
"Ah, well. Guess I'll just have to wait then. Eh, that's alright. Gives me something to look forward to then." He said, shrugging ever so slightly.
"Of course, Anon. Now, as much as I hate to just jump to other matters, we do unfortunately have a schedule we must adhere to. I'm afraid you do have some duties you must learn as well." Celestia replied.
"What duties?" Anon asked, raising an eyebrow.
"My assistant, Raven, is waiting in the library for you. She'll inform you of all of your responsibilities," At Anon's quickly furrowing brow, Celestia cleared her throat, "Worry not, we haven't saddled you with everything we don't want to deal with. There simply are tasks that will be expected of you as our consort, and certainly as our prince. Raven knows not to overburden you with information right off the bat. This will be a gradual process over the next few months until the official wedding." Celestia explained.
Anon thought for a few moments before nodding, "Can I at least go shower first?" He asked.
"Of course, Anon. Your room is just as you left it." Celestia kindly replied.
Before stepping off, Anon looked back over to Javelin with a raised eyebrow, "Well... I don't suppose you want to go deal with that library crap with me, do you?" He asked, hopefully.
Javelin brought a hoof to his chin as if he was deep in thought, "Hmm... lemme think about that... nah." He shook his head.
"Aw come on, don't you want to see that secretary again? I know you've got your eyes on her. She'd probably be happy to see you." Anon half joked, half pleaded.
A small blush crept up Javelin's muzzle, "I... I don't... fine." He relented, looking away.
Anon laughed, "Thank you! At least I got a buddy to make studying suck less ass."
Celestia tilted her head to the side, "I don't think I'll ever understand your references to donkies."
"Eh, it's a long story." Anon shrugged.
"Right, well maybe one day I'll get to hear it. For now, please do go shower and visit Raven. I fear she's been sitting in the library for the last half hour with nothing to do. She's not going to be happy about that." Celestia shook her head.
Anon held his arms halfway up in mock surrender, "Alright, I can take a hint. But, uh... thanks again. I do appreciate the apologies." He said.
"You're quite welcome, Anon. We'll look forward to seeing you tonight at dinner." Luna added as Anon and Javelin walked out of the throne room.
Celestia and Luna both immediately slouched in their seats once Anon and Javelin were gone. After a moment of collecting her thoughts, Luna looked over to her sister.
"Tia, why did you agree to meet him again as Sunshine?" Luna questioned.
Celestia sighed, "I... am unsure. It was not my intention to spark his interest, although when I revert to my old form I become much more... oh what do they call it now? Flirty. Yes," She nodded, "All the hormones come rushing back tenfold when I transform back to my old self. It made it difficult to do what I went down there to do when all I could think of was how cute he looked. There was just something about him that I found... intriguing. He can be adorably awkward, so that certainly helped." She explained.
"It was dramatic enough for you to ask him out on a date?" Luna asked, puzzled.
"I... don't know, Lulu. It's been hundreds of years since I reverted back to my old self. As we've already seen, I am clearly not the flawless princess our subjects seem to think I am, if the last few days are anything to go off of. Maybe there's a part of me deep down that found him enticing enough to actually pursue, while I was my old self." Celestia sighed.
"So... are you saying that you're starting to have feelings for him?" Luna asked, her brow furrowing.
"I wouldn't go that far, sister, at least, not while I'm myself. Not yet, at the very least. It's true that he has some nice features; a nice smile, a kind demeanor, and something of a headstrong, independence about him, but I can't say that I'm head over hooves for him just yet." Celestia replied.
"Well when you say it like that, it sounds as if you fancy him quite a bit." Luna raised an eyebrow.
"I'd say he's growing on me just a tad. It was nice to have a stallion like him compliment both me and you as if we were just any random mare on the street that caught his fancy, but-" Celestia began.
"Wait, what? What do you mean?" Luna interrupted.
"Well we got to the topic of him marrying us, and I inquired if his dissatisfaction was because he didn't find us attractive. Apparently he genuinely finds both of us quite attractive and his hopes were that my picking him would result in a genuine relationship, at least, at first," Celestia sighed sadly, "But regardless, I simply let my old youth and vigor cloud my judgement. I won't be so flirty when I meet with him again on Sunday."
"Are you sure, sister?" Luna asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Of course. While I may have been a bit more on the flirty side, it wasn't as if I was unable to control myself." Celestia dismissed.
Author's Note
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand here we go!!!!!! The apologies are just flowing in today!
Thank you guys for being somewhat patient with me so far. I know A LOT of you have just been out for blood with regards to Tia and Luna, but I promise that they're trying to be better <3
From here on out, they're going to be much more kind to Anon. Now we can begin the healing process! I hope this with somewhat as cathartic as when Anon blew up on them in the first place, because you lot got me scared that it wasn't going to be enough.
All's Fair in Love and War
Chapter 10: Nocturnal Newcomer
Anon and Javelin exited the library alongside Raven as she confidently strode past the exhausted human and stallion. While she levitated several large legal books in her magical grasp with ease, Anon struggled to keep his eyes open. After making their way through several corridors, Raven turned her head to observe the human and huffed.
"It wasn't that bad, stop being so dramatic. We were only studying for eight hours." She said, rolling her eyes.
"Eight hours of monotonous, boring, exhausting legalese that made me want to stab my eyeballs with toothpicks and pull them out." Anon replied with a sidelong glance.
"Well I hate to break it to you, but that was only section one of twelve of the basic Equestrian legal system. You're going to need to learn all eleven of the other sections as well as all your other responsibilities with regards to diplomacy. If you're going to possibly be negotiating for us as a species with our neighbors, then you should know your way around politicians." Raven replied, smartly.
Anon frowned, hard.
"Miss Inkwell, maybe it'd be best not to overwhelm the poor guy before he's even a week into the position." Javelin suggested, placatingly.
"That's exactly what I'm trying not to do. If we get through these sections within the next month, then next month we can tackle etiquette with foreign dignitaries, and then the month after we can go through Military strategy and training, and that leaves us with two more months to focus on training for meetings with the noble class and preparations for the wedding." Raven replied, ignoring the more and more dejected look in Anon's eyes as she talked.
"I know, but what I'm saying is that maybe throwing all that onto the plate at once is just kinda making it seem like too much. Maybe just focus on taking it one section at a time, and then focus on the rest of the big stuff." Javelin offered.
Raven rolled her eyes, "He's a big colt, Sergeant Javelin. I'm sure he can handle knowing what responsibilities he'll be expected to have." She responded.
"Starting to regret reconsidering this." Anon mumbled as he stared at the floor, dejectedly.
"Sir, I promise you that while it may seem like a lot right now, it will be easy by the time you have to actually do any of this. That's the whole point of dedicating months and months to it. We're going to make sure you know the job like the back of your hoo-hand. How do you think we got Luna so up to speed within a matter of months after her return." Raven responded, dismissively waving a hoof in Anon's direction.
After a moment of contemplation, Anon realized Raven had a point. He perked up enough to step forward and continue to follow her, although his expression did not lighten.
"Besides, we're done for the day, and it's only sunset. You have the rest of the night to yourself." Raven said, motioning to the setting sun through the window.
"Oh wow... Well there goes the rest of my day off." Javelin chuckled.
"Shit, I'm sorry you got stuck here for the whole day, dude. If I'd have known it was going to be eight hours, I would've told you to just go home instead of wasting your day sitting around with me." Anon replied, with a sigh.
"If you had asked, I would have told you exactly how long it was going to take." Raven pointedly replied.
"If only I'd have known." Anon shook his head, completely ignoring her.
Raven gave him a deadpan look.
"Oh well. Guess there was simply no way to know." Anon shrugged.
Raven opened her mouth to respond, but Javelin beat her to the punch.
"Heh, it's all good. You might want to stop teasing Miss Inkwell so much, she's starting to turn red." Javelin joked.
Raven sighed heavily, "We'll reconvene tomorrow, sir. Please see to it that you're ready for eight full hours of study and learning Equestrian law." She said, her tone strained slightly.
"Yeah, yeah, I hear you. I'll be ready to sit around and die inside all day. Thanks, miss angry secretary." Anon responded, patting Raven's mane.
For a moment, Raven looked like she was going to bite Anon's hand, but quickly decided against the action and instead pulled away with a low growl.
"Well, if it's all the same to you, I've got to get home and get ready for tomorrow. I'll see you then, Anon," Javelin spoke up with a friendly wave, before looking to Raven, "I'll see you tomorrow, Miss Inkwell."
Raven allowed a small smile to form on her face before replying, "I'll see you tomorrow, Sergeant."
With that, Javelin departed, leaving Anon and Raven alone in one of the castle corridors. An awkward silence quickly fell over them as Anon put his hands in his pockets and rocked back and forth on his heels. Raven looked to the window once more to see the sun as the last of it's brilliance sunk under the horizon, and then looked back to Anon.
"Sir... I know this is hard. Especially after the rocky start to our relationship... I just want you to understand that I only want what's best for my country and you. That means ensuring you understand everything that ponies will try to sneak past you. It's the only way we'll be able to prevent situations like this whole fiasco from happening again." Raven explained, a tired look in her eyes.
Anon rubbed his eyes with his thumb and index finger, "I get it, Raven. I'm only messing with you. Just... still not sure I'm one hundred percent on board with the whole thing at all."
Raven bit her lip as she looked around for anypony else. After a moment of hesitation, and finding nopony else nearby, she gently patted Anon's thigh.
"You'll be fine, sir. If Prince BlueBlood hasn't messed up and caused a war, I'm sure you'll do just fine." She offered.
Anon chuckled lightly, "Thanks for the vote of confidence. I'll see you tomorrow, Raven."
"Alright, sir. I'm going to go home for the day. I'll be seeing you." She replied before trotting off.
"See you then." Anon called after her as she walked out of view, before hanging his head low, "Jesus Christ." He muttered.
Anon brought one of his hands to his face and rubbed the bridge of his nose. He took a deep breath before letting out a long, drawn out sigh. He walked over to the window and stared out at the fading light for a few moments before his gaze drifted lower to the garden below. The mixing colors of twilight painted a mural of light all over the luscious plants and flowers filling the royal garden, making a gorgeous display of reds, blues, purples, oranges, and magenta.
Anon stared at the sight for a few minutes before sighing quietly and pulling himself away from the window. He made a mental note to return to the garden before heading toward the dining room. He ascended the staircase to the royal bedroom level and quickly found the foyer leading to the dining room. As it was every time before his arrival, there were well over a dozen guards posted outside along the wall, all staring ahead like statues.
Anon walked up to the door and looked down at the lieutenant standing guard.
"Anonymous, sir. The princesses are expecting you." She said before opening the door.
"Thank you." Anon responded before heading inside.
Celestia and Luna looked over at Anon from their respective seats at the table. No words were spoken as Anon walked over to the table and took his seat, sighing quietly to himself. The royal sisters shared a quick look as Anon slouched heavily in his seat.
"So... I take it you had a long day?" Celestia asked, politely.
"You could say that." Anon replied, his voice lacking it's normal strength.
"Are you feeling alright, Anon?" Luna asked, a concerned frown on her face.
"Just tired. Not looking forward to doing this every day for the next four months, but whatever." Anon shrugged.
"Well, I can promise you that it does get easier." Luna offered.
"Yeah, I heard as much from Raven." Anon responded.
"Raven is a very dedicated secretary. She's very good at her job as a result. I know she'll get you up to speed." Celestia smiled.
"I'm sure she will." Anon rolled his eyes.
"Well, regardless, how was your day otherwise?" Celestia asked, pointedly ignoring Anon's mood.
"What do you mean? I literally did nothing else today besides studying with Raven." Anon replied.
"Well, the night is still young. There are many things you could do with the remaining hours of the day." Luna suggested, her eyes lighting up with excitement.
"I don't know. If I'm being honest, I'm kinda tired from today. I think I might just head to my room and get some sleep." Anon shook his head before getting out of his chair.
"Wait, Anon. You haven't even had anything to eat yet." Celestia asserted, her motherly concern bleeding into her voice.
"I'm not really hungry, Celestia. I'll, uh... I'll talk to you guys tomorrow." Anon said as he walked to the doorway.
"Anon, wait!" Luna called.
Anon paused in the doorway, his hand on the door handle. He glanced back at the alicorn sisters with a raised eyebrow.
"What?" He asked.
"Are... are you alright? Was it something we said?" Luna asked, a concerned frown on her face.
"No, not really. I just... need some time alone." Anon responded.
Anon opened the door and stepped outside, leaving the sisters behind in the dining room as he walked back through the corridors of the castle. He passed several large windows before arriving at the staircase he was looking for and descending to the first level of the castle. Once he was there, Anon headed through the main hall of the castle to the side corridor leading to the outside world.
Anon stepped outside and breathed a breath of fresh air. He quickly looked for his goal and found the gardens within a few moments of searching. He walked through the empty side yards of the castle grounds until arriving at the gate to the garden. Once he was inside, Anon found himself surrounded by plants and flowers of all species. Hydrangea, roses, orchids, tulips, lily's, even some cherry-blossom trees lined the walls of the garden and framed the center gazebo with gently reflected white moonlight.
The white structure starkly contrasted the rainbow of colors surrounding it, drawing Anon ever closer as he gently ran his fingers along the soft rose petals lining the singular path in the center of the garden. For a few moments of silence, Anon simply stared at the large pale moon as it hung, ever present over the horizon yet just above the gazebo.
"Wow that moon is big," Anon commented to himself, "Way bigger than Earth's moon."
Eventually, the lone human was compelled enough to walk forward until he arrived at the moonlit gazebo. Anon found a comfortable spot sitting just on the seat to the right, where he could comfortably watch the moon as it slowly rose in the sky. He pressed his thumbs together as he clasped his hands, and rested his elbows on his knees. Leaning forward, Anon pursed his lips as his mind recalled the day's events.
For almost an hour, Anon sat by himself in silence, only ever looking up for a moment or two, before redirecting his attention to the floorboards of the gazebo. He sighed heavily to himself as he held his head low, his hands holding his temples in melancholy.
As he sat in the gazebo, Anon's ears eventually picked up on the sound of hooves clopping against stone. He slowly gazed upwards to see his unexpected guest, only to find that the unicorn mare standing before him was not a mare he knew at all. Her fur, a light shade of cerulean blue, reflected the moonlight stunningly, almost turning her a heavenly white. Her black circle cutie mark starkly contrasted against the white reflecting off her coat. Her long mane and tail were both a deep turquoise that glistened and gently bobbed with every step she took, making them almost appear as waves quickly rising and slowly crashing down as she approached. Lastly, on her perfectly framed face, sat two beautiful teal eyes that contrasted nicely with her coat and mane.
As the mysterious unicorn approached, Anon found himself speechless. His jaw dropped slightly as the absolutely stunning mare walked right up to the gazebo and graced him with a friendly smile.
"Good evening." She greeted, her voice like a gentle zephyr in the night.
"Uh, h-hi." Anon stuttered, his eyes still staring at the mare with surprise and intrigue.
"Hello there, Anonymous, right?" The mare inquired, giving him her full attention.
"Y-yeah... who... who are you?" Anon asked, a puzzled look on his face.
The mare smiled, "My name is Nightshade. It's a pleasure to meet you. My sister has been talking about you all day." She smiled.
"Your... sister?" Anon tilted his head to the side.
"Sunshine. You met her down at the bar yesterday." Nightshade explained.
Faust, this feels so... wrong. Tia, I hope you're right... this just feels like lying... even if it's for a good cause. Nightshade thought to herself.
Anon's eyes lit up in realization, "O-Oh! You're Sunshine's sister!? I guess it's just good family genes." He replied.
"Indeed I am. What was that last part though?" Nightshade asked, an ear flicking toward Anon.
"Nothing, nothing. Just... I didn't even know Sunshine had a sister. Well, it's nice to meet you. I'm Anon." Anon responded, holding his hand out.
Nightshade raised an eyebrow, prompting Anon to slowly close his eyes and sigh heavily.
"Right, you already knew that. Nevermind, sorry." He said, pulling his hand back.
Nightshade giggled into her hoof before looking around the gazebo with interest.
"No need to apologize, Anon. Would you mind if I sat out here with you?" Nightshade asked.
"Uh, sure. Go ahead. I was just thinking anyways." Anon dismissively replied, sitting more upright.
Nightshade hopped onto the seat across from Anon and fixed him with an inquisitive look, "Oh? What were you thinking about?"
"Just... life, and stuff. You know how it is." Anon shrugged.
"Hmm... what kind of 'stuff'?" Nightshade pressed, tapping her hoof against her chin.
"Well... you know. Me being who I am and the job I've basically agreed to do." Anon replied.
"Could you be more specific?" Nightshade asked.
"Well... you're Sunshine's sister, right? So I'm sure she's talked to you about everything going on here." Anon pieced together.
"Sunshine did inform me of your issues with Celestia and Luna. I am deeply sorry that you had to deal with u-that. I believe she did speak with the both of them last night, however. Did they change their attitudes accordingly?" Nightshade questioned.
"Heh, they sure changed alright. I have no idea what the hell Sunshine said to them, but they've been so much more understanding and genuine today. Even though I've only spent a little bit of time with them today... it felt... good, to feel like I wasn't just being used. Like they actually care about my happiness or wellbeing." Anon explained, a rueful smile appearing on his face.
"That's great news! Although... if I can, you don't seem all too happy. In fact, you seem rather distant, and upset." Nightshade responded, a small frown forming on her muzzle.
"Yeah, I know... it's not their fault. It's just that I may have... bitten off more than I can chew, I guess. Heh, I spent the whole day with Raven just learning one section of one part of the job I'm supposed to be taking on, and I felt completely lost the whole time. Reminds me of why I dropped out of college. It's just... kinda got me worrying about what I've gotten myself into." Anon admitted.
"I see... and you worry that you're going to regret your choice even after you'd already told the sister's that you accepted." Nightshade pieced together.
"Yeah... they've been super understanding and genuinely kind today. Even though they've already thoroughly pissed me off the other day... I don't want to accept their offer and then immediately quit. I may still be a bit pissed off, but I have principles." Anon elaborated.
Nightshade silently nodded, "Yes, I can see how that would be troublesome. Would... would you like to talk about it?"
"Honestly... I've already vented everything I have to vent a few times. I just came out here and watch the stars and think." Anon replied, turning his gaze skyward.
"Really?!" Nightshade exclaimed.
"Uh... yeah. Why are you so excited by that?" Anon asked, slightly taken aback.
Nightshade immediately paled before coughing into her hoof and clearing her throat, "Um, I apologize. I'm... particularly fond of the night sky, and I can barely recall the last time somepony has shared an interest."
Anon raised an eyebrow, "Really? I figured everyone around here had a thing for the night sky. I mean... almost everybody back on Earth loved how pretty the stars look." He said, giving her a curious look.
"They... they do?" Nightshade asked.
"Yeah... you must not get out much, huh? I mean, there's like... fifty night clubs in Canterlot alone that stay open until five in the morning. It was the same way back home. I remember this one place called 'Club Rio' that was a lot of fun. Lots of neon lights and electronic music that made your heart beat faster. Good times. Lots of cute girls." Anon reminisced, a longing smile on his face.
Nightshade frowned slightly, "You miss it, don't you?" She asked.
"What? The drugs, drinks, sex with random girls, and staying up until nine in the morning just to sleep through the day and do it all again that night?" Anon chuckled, "Yeah, I guess I miss college, but that's also kinda the other half of the reason I dropped out."
Nightshade tilted her head to the side, "Well, no. I was referring to home. Your home. I know I miss mine." She admitted.
Anon looked over to Nightshade and pursed his lips, "Well... yeah, of course I miss home. I think about my parents and my friends every day. I just... can't afford to get too lost in those memories. I already know I can't go home. I don't want to dwell on the things I can't really change... That shit'll drive you mad crazy."
"Mad and crazy?" Nightshade quirked a brow.
"Eh, human saying. Like, you'll be super crazy... but, didn't you say something about missing your home too? I thought you and Sunshine were from around here." Anon replied, looking down at the moonlit unicorn with a distant look in her eyes.
"Well... I suppose technically this is my home. It just... doesn't quite feel like it. I've been away for too long and now it's not as I remember it. Ponies change so quickly these days." Nightshade confessed, her gaze drifting to the floor.
"Well, you've got Celestia, Luna, and your sister, don't you? I know Celestia said that Sunshine travels a lot, and I assume you must be going with her on those trips, but it must be nice to at least have the princesses around like an anchor you know will always be here," Anon offered with a small shrug, before coming to a realization, "Oh yeah! What about Luna!? She's literally the one that makes the night sky around here. If anybody would like to talk with you about the night sky, it's her."
Nightshade bit her lip and frowned, "My relationship with Luna is... complicated."
"How complicated?" Anon pressed.
"Well, let's just say that after she became Nightmare Moon, my family lost contact with her... once she came back and was reverted back to herself by the elements of harmony, I... she didnt know I existed. She tries to be there for me, on occasion, but... it feels as if she's only just chasing something that isn't there. There simply isn't a connection." Nightshade admitted, a sad look in her eyes.
As the mare sitting across from him stared depressingly down at the floorboards of the gazebo, Anon rested his elbows on his knees and clasped his hands together while leaning forward. He eyed her for a few moments with pursed lips before nodding once and standing up. He swiftly walked over to Nightshade and sat down beside her, breaking her from her stupor.
Nightshade looked up at Anon with curiosity in her eyes before she saw, or rather felt, his arm wrap around her barrel and pull her closer. She felt his fingers gently dig into the fur of her wither as he half embraced her, and her heart rate quickly accelerated.
"Hey, uh... It'll be okay. Luna's... well she's rough around the edges, for sure. She's just... she's trying. I wanted to punch her in her snout the other day, but the more I think about it... I can't imagine spending a thousand years on the moon and then coming back to find everyone you ever loved is dead,and now you've got great great great grand nieces you never knew about, and you gotta talk and act differently because everything else changed. Well, I kinda can, but not the thousand years part... or the nieces part... or the talking differently part either, I guess... A-anyways, my point is that she's not a horrible pony. She just... doesn't really know how to show that with certain people, I feel. I'm sure if you talked to her and explained how you felt, she'd be more than eager to make amends and try to connect with you more." Anon offered, a supportive smile on his face as he looked down at the pony in his one-armed hug.
Nightshade felt her ears burning and a heaviness in her chest as she looked up to Anon as if he was the wisest and kindest being in history. It took all of her effort to keep her eyes from watering as she felt each word in her heart. Only when he tilted his head to the side with a look of concern, did she realize that he wasn't still speaking, and the unicorn mare quickly scrambled for a response.
"T-thank you, Anon... I... I didn't expect to hear that from you."
"Eh, well it's the truth. I can't say that I like Luna, at least... not yet. She treated me like a rabid dog that she wanted to put down, but after your sister talked with them, and Luna apologized, it got me thinking... maybe she's not so bad. Probably just not handling the situation very well. Can't say I blame her, I haven't being sleeping much, myself, lately." Anon confessed with a shake of his head.
"You've been having a hard time sleeping? Nightmares?" Nightshade asked.
"Nah, no nightmares. Just stress. Pretty much only slept like a rock last night because of the alcohol, but the night before... oh man I don't think I got more than a couple hours. I'm pretty used to not sleeping much though, so it's not too bad." Anon replied.
"Why don't you sleep very much? Surely a big, strong stallion like you needs his rest." Nightshade teased, the tiniest ghost of a grin on her face.
Anon chuckled, "Yeah, well... between growing up with four brothers and two sisters, going to a party college, and then ending up a mechanic working sixty hours a week just to get by, sleep's never really been on the menu." He shrugged.
"Faust, six siblings? I didn't realize you were part of such a large family." Nightshade's eyes widened.
"Eh, it was pretty big, yeah, but it's not like we were all that close in age. My oldest brother was twenty when I was born, so he moved out just a few years later. Oldest sister was nineteen, so same thing. Growing up, there were only about five of us, although for a good year our grandparents had to move in because of their house fire, so... yeah, it was a bit crowded sometimes. Not always though." Anon shrugged.
"And that whole family was just from your mother and father? No other mares in your house? Just her to birth seven foals?" Nightshade asked, a perplexed look on her face.
Anon chuckled awkwardly, "Well I guess there was a lot less to do when my parents were growing up, but yeah. My mom gave birth to all seven of us."
"Are such high birth rates common on your world?" Nightshade questioned, leaning into Anon unconsciously.
"Well, no. Not really. We're a pretty unusual family if I'm being honest. Most of the world has about... one to three kids per set of parents. I'm not a hundred percent sure, but I do know we were one of the biggest." Anon explained.
"I see... so.. what was that like? Growing up with so many siblings? I've only ever had my sister my entire life." Nightshade asked.
"You only had your sister? What about your parents?" Anon replied.
Nightshade's eyes darted away for a moment before returning to Anon, "I... don't like to talk about it very much. They died when I was little. That's all I really want to say."
Anon nodded solemnly, "I understand. Sorry to bring it up."
Nightshade almost furiously shook her head, "No, no. You have nothing to be sorry for. You've been nothing but kind and understanding this night."
Anon chuckled lightly, "Well thank you, Nightshade. You've been a pleasure to talk to, yourself. Completely took my mind off my other issues." He said with a genuine smile.
"So... would you mind telling me more about your family?" Nightshade beamed, resting her cheek on Anon's shoulder as she gave him puppy dog eyes.
Anon smiled, "I'd be happy to. Where do I start?"
Author's Note
A wise man once said, "Sometimes the best way to solve your own problems, is to help someone else."
All's Fair in Love and War
Chapter 11: A Rollercoaster of a Day
Sunday
Anon walked down the hallway leading to the dining room with a small bounce in his step. As he passed through corridor after corridor of the massive castle, he saw many maids and guardsmares all taking care of their tasks or standing guard at their respective posts. He gave a small nod of acknowledgement as he passed by, to which a quick salute was returned.
Quick enough, Anon arrived at his destination. He looked down at the guards standing post outside the dining room and gave a small wave.
"How's it going, V?" Anon inquired as he eyed the lieutenant.
With a quick salute, she replied, "It's going, sir, and I thought I told you my name is Lieutenant Valorant."
"Yeah, but V is faster. Besides, I already told you to stop calling me sir and just call me Anon." Anon replied, shrugging.
"Sir, with all due respect, I don't believe that would be appropriate." Lieutenant Valorant replied.
Anon sighed, "Jesus, what's with you guards. First Jav, and now you? You guys ever lighten up when you're on duty?" He asked, exasperated.
Lieutenant Valorant pursed her lips, "It's like I said, sir. It simply wouldn't be appropriate while I'm on duty. Although, if I can change the subject, you're looking much happier today than the past couple of days. That's good to see." She offered.
Anon smiled, "I am, thanks. Today's... an exciting day. Speaking of, I need to get in there. I'll see you later."
"Go right ahead, sir." Lieutenant Valorant replied, opening the door for him with her magic.
"Thanks." Anon called behind him as he walked inside.
As Anon walked into the dining room, his eyes fell on the two alicorns sitting in their increasingly familiar chairs at opposite sides of the table. They both turned their heads and gave friendly greetings to the human as he approached them.
"Good morning, Anon." Celestia said.
"Have a good evening?" A more tired looking Luna greeted.
"I did, thank you. Good morning to you both." Anon replied as he took his seat.
A butler quickly approached Anon with a notepad and pen held in his magical grasp, "What would you like for breakfast, sir?"
"Can I get some scrambled eggs? Maybe some pancakes?" Anon replied, scratching his chin thoughtfully.
"Certainly, sir."
With that, the butler disappeared into the kitchen, leaving Anon and the princesses alone once more. It only took a moment for conversation to find them.
"I must say, Anon. You're looking much better today than earlier this week. I'm very glad to see that." Celestia started, a friendly smile on her face.
"Indeed. You seem much more chipper than we're used to seeing you." Luna added as Celestia drank her orange juice.
"Oh yeah, I'm excited. Talked with Raven the other day and got today all cleared up so I can go meet Sunshine at the park." Anon replied.
Celestia immediately spit her drink out and delved into a coughing fit, drawing concerned looks from both Anon and Luna.
"Uh, are you alright, Celestia?" Anon asked, his brow creasing in worry.
"Oh, I'm-*cough* doing just-*cough* fine! *cough*" Celestia managed to reply as she struggled to get air back into her lungs.
"Wrong pipe, sister?" Luna asked, raising an eyebrow in amusement.
"Y-yep." Celestia weakly croaked out before taking a sip of water.
"Right, well, uh... anyways... I'm really excited to see Sunshine again. It's been almost a week, but I've been really wanting to see her." Anon explained, his expression molding into a more excited one again.
"Well that's wonderful news. Certainly she'll be more than ecstatic to see you. She certainly spoke highly of you when we saw her earlier." Luna replied, her gaze slowly drifting to Celestia as the older alicorn stared back at her with wide eyes.
"Thanks, Luna. I'm really excited. I've been looking forward to seeing her all week." Anon beamed.
A look of dread fell over Celestia's face as the butler brought out their breakfast. He quickly deposited the food at each of their respective plates, before bowing and exiting the room. While Anon and Luna dug into their food, Celestia stared ahead with a blank look on her face. After a few minutes, Luna looked up and tilted her head to the side.
"Are you feeling alight, sister? You haven't even touched your food." Luna pointed out, drawing Anon's attention to Celestia's plate as well.
Seeing that she was now being observed by both parties, Celestia quickly used her magic and stabbed her fork into her salad so hard that it broke through the plate and embedded itself in the table.
"Oh." Celestia muttered as Anon and Luna shared a look.
"Uh, Celestia... are you sure you're okay? You're acting really weird right now." Anon spoke up, giving the solar alicorn a wary look.
Celestia quickly shook her head and looked Anon in the eye, "My deepest apologies. I don't know what got into me. I think I should go lay down for a bit." She replied.
"But sister, you've only just woken up a few hours ago." Luna pointed out.
"I know, but I am feeling a little unwell. If you would, Luna, please come up to my room as soon as you're done," Celestia responded before turning back to Anon, "Anon, please do have a good time. Please excuse me, I'm not quite sure why I feel so... hot, all of a sudden."
With that, the solar alicorn teleported herself and her food out of the room and back to her own bedroom, leaving Anon and Luna together in the dining room. Anon slowly glanced over to Luna to find her giving him a similar look of confusion. After a moment of silence, and a quick glance down at her food, Luna spoke up.
"I should probably go check on her... Once I finish dinner, that is." She said, before taking another bite of her own salad.
"Do... you want me to go up with you?" Anon asked, quirking his brow in curiosity.
Luna shook her head, "No, Anon. You needn't worry yourself with this. I'm sure Celestia is just being dramatic. I'll make sure she is okay."
Anon acknowledged with a nod before diving into his scrambled eggs. Soon enough Luna was finished, and gave him a small nod before teleporting herself to Celestia's door. She looked both ways down the hallway before knocking three times and patiently waiting for a response. It only took a moment for Celestia's magic to throw the door open and pull Luna inside before slamming the door shut behind her.
"Luna!" Celestia cried, "I completely forgot!"
"Forgot what?" Luna asked as she was shook about by her sister's magic.
"About Anon's date with Sunshine! I completely forgot! I don't have time to do that today!" Celestia exclaimed, holding her head with her hooves.
"Hold on, sister, hold on. Firstly, put me down." Luna placated, giving her sister a deadpanned expression as she hovered a few feet off the ground in a golden aura.
Celestia immediately cut her magic and let Luna fall to the floor with a loud *clop*.
"Luna, what am I going to do!? He's in such a good mood today! If I don't show up, he'll think Sunshine lied to him and stood him up! It'll break his heart." Celestia continued to panic, waving her hooves around for emphasis.
"Sister, calm down. You're not doing anypony any good by having an episode in your room." Luna demanded, her harsh tone forcing Celestia to at least sit still.
"Alright, thank you. Now, what exactly do you have planned today?" Luna pressed, placing a comforting hoof on Celestia's wither.
"I... have a couple diplomatic meetings with the Griffon and Minotaur ambassadors... and then a meeting with the mayor of Manehatten at four. I'm completely booked for the whole day. Those ambassador meetings always take at least four to five hours." Celestia explained.
"Well, what time is Anon expecting Sunshine to meet him down in the park?" Luna asked.
"I don't believe I gave him a set time... I think I just said Sunday and that was it." Celestia replied, a look of concentration on her face.
"So how does he know when to meet you down there?" Luna inquired.
"I have no idea! I assume he's just planning to spend the entire day down there until I arrive or worse... I don't and it breaks his heart." Celestia frowned.
"Tia, I'm sure it won't kill him if you don't show up." Luna deadpanned.
"Lulu, you don't understand. Anon was very interested in Sunshine... and I was more flirtatious than I'd like. I'm worried he's got the thought in his head that Sunshine may be the mare he should choose to be with." Celestia frantically explained.
"He may be interested in Sunshine, yes, but I'm sure he can handle not having her. There are plenty of other mares out there and after talking with him, I feel as if he'll have no trouble once a mare decides to approach him." Luna dismissed.
Celestia did a double take, "Wait, when did you speak with him?" She asked.
"A few nights ago. When he was looking particularly upset after his education with Raven. I took a page from your book and reverted to my old self before going out and meeting with him in the garden." Luna responded.
"You reverted to your old form? It's been so long I don't even remember what you used to look like... a-anyways, how did that go?" Celestia asked, shaking her head.
"It went extremely well... although, I am unsure if it is wise to continue to lie to him like this. He already doesn't trust us... pretending to be other mares to gain his trust just feels like it will sabotage any chance of him ever trusting us again." Luna admitted.
Celestia sighed, "I know, Lulu. I know. That's why I only encouraged it as a way to make friends with him and see things perhaps from his perspective. I know that it helped me last week... until now, that is. Rest assured, as long as we don't give him the wrong impression while we're our old selves, we should be able to avoid hurting him again. Having said that, tell me, what happened?" She replied.
"Once we became acquainted, I learned many things about him that I never would have expected. He's actually... interested in the night sky. I can't say I recall ever meeting a stallion that told me how beautiful my night was to them. They've always been too scared to say anything." Luna explained, a small blush forming on her muzzle.
"Well that's wonderful, sister... but are you sure you didn't get too close to him?" Celestia asked.
"What do you mean?" Luna tilted her head to the side.
"Well... if he starts to fall for you too, then we'll both have the difficult task of letting him down as our old forms... and it doesn't help that I still don't even know how I'm going to get down to the park to let him down in the first place!" Celestia facehoofed.
"Relax, sister. I will take care of your duties until you have taken care of this." Luna replied, holding up a hoof.
Celestia looked at Luna as if she'd spoken another language, "Sister, I can't ask you to do that. You've already done your duties for the night and you must be exhausted."
"There is a magical drink in this day and age called coffee . I've become quite fond of it for the days where I must stay up for whatever event you have planned," Luna smirked, "Besides, I'm not offering to take your duties on for the entire day. Just until you deal with Anon for the day. If you go now, you should be able to meet him down there and let him down gently before noon."
Celestia looked to the massive grandfather clock at the end of the room and frowned, "So you're saying I have two hours?"
Luna nodded, "Make it quick, sister, but please, do be gentle. I have... quite enjoyed my talk with him and I do not wish for Anon to leave anymore."
Celestia nodded, "On that, we can agree. Alright, Lulu. Thank you for this. I'll be as fast as I can."
Luna smiled before leaning in for a nuzzle with her sister. Celestia warmly returned the nuzzle before her horn lit up in a golden light and she teleported out of the room.
Anon walked through the Grand Park of the middle district with a nervous look in his eyes. As he passed group after group of ponies while they enjoyed the park to the fullest, Anon couldn't quite get a sick feeling out of his gut.
"Did she say a time? I can't remember... shit, maybe she's just not gonna show up." He mumbled to himself as he watched a herd enjoying a picnic under one of the magnolia trees.
Anon looked back and forth at the ponies going about their day before the sound of heavy sabots on grass behind him caught his attention and he turned around to see Javelin as he trotted up to his side.
"Area looks clear. So, when's your date showing up?" Javelin asked, his eyes scanning the area curiously.
"Well... I'm not completely sure. She didn't really give a time, she just... told me Sunday. I think... I'm not too sure, honestly." Anon explained, scratching the back of his neck.
"She didn't mention a time at all? Well that's not good. She could come by any time today." Javelin shook his head.
"I know. That's kinda why I cleared the whole day out so that there wouldn't be anything to come up and get in the way of that, but now I'm starting to wonder if maybe she just lied to me." Anon admitted, sticking his hands in his pockets.
Javelin cocked an eyebrow back and pursed his lip, "Well, that would be a really cruel things to do, but I have heard of that kind of thing happening before. Thing is, from what I saw and everything you've said about this mare, she doesn't seem the type. Usually you can see that kinda thing coming from a mile away." He explained.
Anon sighed, "I'm not the best at reading ponies yet... but regardless, she talked with Celestia and Luna, so she must have good intentions. I don't think she'd go and bitch out the two most powerful ponies in Equestria for me just to stand me up a few days later."
"Touché." Javelin nodded.
Anon looked back up at the surrounding ponies as they continued to go about their leisurely day as if nothing in the world was wrong. His gaze slowly drifted from a pair of mares as they doted on their stallion, sitting under the shade of a tree, to the trio of mares enjoying what appeared to be a pleasant picnic. He watched as two pegasi took turns preening each other and conversing happily under the gentle morning sunlight.
With his hands in his pockets, Anon looked down to the ground, spying a lone rock lying next to his foot. With his lips pursed into the beginnings of a frown, he took a step back and kicked the rock. It promptly flew through the air and smacked Sunshine in the face as she approached from the front.
"Ouch!" She cried as she stumbled back.
Anon froze, his hands still in his pockets as his eyes widened to the size of dinner plates and all attention in the park suddenly diverted right to the scene he caused.
"Oh... oh my god. Sunshine!" Anon exclaimed as he rushed over to her side, "Fuck, I'm so sorry! I didn't even see you there. That was a complete accident." He hastily explained.
Javelin quickly appeared at Sunshine's other side and looked her over, "Hmm... doesn't seem like it cut you. Would you like some ice for the swelling that's surely going to cause?" He asked.
Sunshine nodded as she held her cheek with both of her hooves. Javelin cast a quick spell, and an icepack appeared before him. He gently levitated it over to Sunshine's cheek, where Anon grabbed it and pressed it against the wound. Meanwhile, he looked as inconspicuously as he could at the staring crowd of ponies that were quietly whispering amongst themselves.
"I know I forgot to give you a time, but that just felt a little unnecessary." Sunshine pouted.
"Sunshine, I am so sorry. I really didn't see you there at all. God I'm such a jackass." Anon frowned hard, his gaze drifting to the floor in shame.
Sunshine eyed him for a few moments before sighing quietly to herself, "You and your donkey references... It's alright, I know you didn't mean to do it. Let's just pretend it didn't happen?" She offered, a sympathetic half smile on her face.
"With that welt, I doubt that's possible." Javelin mentioned, giving her a sidelong glance.
Both Sunshine and Anon glared at the unicorn stallion, prompting him to close his mouth and back up a few feet.
"Right, I'll let you two hash this out. Go get 'em, sir." Javelin gave a quick salute before turning away from the pair.
Anon watched Javelin with a raised brow before sighing and looking back at Sunshine. He gently pulled the icepack away to reveal a small welt on her reddened cheek, but otherwise no real damage. He softly pushed the icepack back into her cheek, earning a small hiss from the mare.
"Sorry." Anon mumbled, one hand absently stroking through the soft fur on her clean cheek while the other held the icepack in place.
Sunshine looked up to Anon as he held the ice pack against her cheek. The look of genuine concern and fear in his eyes made her heart ache.
Oh now how can I go and break his heart when he looks like that!? Anon you're not playing fair at all! Faust damn it, why do you have to look so cute and dote on me like I'm just any normal mare... Sunshine thought to herself.
After a few more moments of this, Anon's fingers reached a particularly ticklish spot on Sunshine's cheek. She tried and failed to suppress a giggle as she his fingers brushed through her fur, causing the man in question to raise an eyebrow.
"What?" He asked.
"Nothing, nothing. It's just that your hand tickles." Sunshine replied, her right eye closed from the the proximity of Anon's fingers.
Anon's face quickly reddened, "Oh my fuck, I am so sorry," He said as he pulled his hand away, "I am such a fucking idiot. That's like, super degrading to you ponies, isn't it? Fuck I'm sorry, I've ruined this already." He shook his head, a deep frown visible on his face.
Sunshine grabbed his retreating hand with her hoof, "Don't worry, you're okay. It's not degrading at all, in fact, it felt... pretty nice." She replied, a blush slowly creeping up her face as well.
"A-are you sure? You don't have to pretend for my sake, I've already fucked this all up." Anon countered, a look of resignation on his face.
"Really, it's fine. We ponies love physical contact. It's how we show affection. Besides, this ice pack is freezing one side of my face, I could use something nice as a distraction." Sunshine responded, pulling Anon's hand back to her cheek.
Anon took a moment to process her words, but eventually complied with Sunshine's request and continued to slowly stroke his fingers through her fur. The texture was smooth and soft like velvet as his fingers danced through the forest of fur all the way back to her mane. Quick enough, Sunshine was leaning into his touch and nuzzling her cheek into his hand as he took to gently scratching under her ear.
A smile quickly broke on Anon's face at the downright adorable display Sunshine was putting on. Her eyes closed in bliss as a dopey smile broke out on her face and her hind leg began to twitch. Taking another leap of faith, Anon brought his hand up to her ear and softly pinched the appendage in his fingers before scratching into the sensitive fur inside. Sunshine instantly gasped while her eyes fluttered and she leaned even harder into Anon's hand, almost to the point of falling over.
Eventually, Anon pulled his hand away from the unicorn mare as well as the icepack, earning a quiet whine and pout in the process. He chuckled lightly to himself before inspecting her cheek once more, finding that the swelling was almost completely gone, and all that remained was a small red mark that shown through her now damp fur.
"Alright, I think that should heal up nicely. Don't think we need the icepack anymore." Anon said, placing the icepack on the ground.
Sunshine nodded, "Mmmhmm. Now I can't feel the left side of my face." She said with a smirk.
"Again, I'm so sorry about that. I would never hit anyone like that on purpose, especially you." Anon replied, his gaze still slightly downcast.
Sunshine rolled her tongue in her mouth before walking slightly past Anon and flicking his face with her tail, startling the man slightly, "If you want to make it up to me, I do see an ice cream cart over there... and some more of that scratching would be sufficient." She said, a teasing tone in her voice.
It took Anon all of one second to connect the dots and hastily push himself upright, "Uh, s-sure! Of course! Let's go." He excitedly replied.
"I'll be watching from here, sir." Javelin commented as the pair walked away from him.
"Thanks, Jav." Anon gratefully responded as he caught up to Sunshine.
Together, the man and pony quickly made their way over to the ice cream stand at the other side of the park. There was a short line, allowing them to quickly get to the front.
"What can I get you two?" The cart owner enthusiastically asked.
"Sherbet for me. Can I get two scoops?" Sunshine asked politely.
"Certainly, and for you, sir?" The pony replied, looking to Anon.
"Uh, can I just get a scoop of mint chocolate chip?" Anon asked.
"Of course, sir. Just a moment."
The pony quickly pulled out two cones, a scoop, and opened the cart with her magic. She swiftly scooped the appropriate ice cream onto each cone before bringing them to both Anon and Sunshine.
"Alrighty! That'll be two bits for the mint chocolate chip, and three for the sherbet." She chirped.
Anon quickly dug into his pocket and pulled out a coin pouch. He reached in with his free hand, only for Sunshine to stop his hand with her magic. A puzzled look crossed Anon's face as he looked over to the unicorn.
"I was just teasing you, Anon. I've got this." She said, teleporting the proper amount of bits from some unknown source.
"Sunshine, it's fine. I got this." Anon insisted.
"Nope. I won't hear it. You're too nice of a stallion to have to pay for me. I've got it." Sunshine replied, shaking her head.
Anon rolled his eyes, "You know, you never let me buy you that drink. You still owe me one opportunity to buy you something."
Sunshine moved her mouth to speak, but after a few moments of finding no adequate response, sighed heavily, "Are you sure, Anon?" She asked.
"Of course. Let me have this, will ya? It's been forever since I got to buy a pretty girl something." Anon replied with a quick wink, making Sunshine blush profusely.
Anon finished fishing for his bits and swiftly deposited them on the cart. The cart owner magic'd the bits into her own purse with practiced ease, and gave a wide, yet very genuine smile.
"Thank you both. Have a wonderful morning." She waved as Anon and Sunshine departed.
"Thank you! You too." Anon called back as he and Sunshine walked back toward the center of the park, the latter still struggling to find her words.
Anon and Sunshine easily found Javelin in the center of the park once more. His golden armor and white coat stood out against the greenery of the surrounding area, making him easy to identify. They swiftly approached him, finding that he hadn't moved at all since they left.
"You good?" Anon inquired, a small look of concern on his face, "You haven't moved a muscle."
"All good. Don't worry about me. We train to stand like this for hours and hours a day. I was just making sure you guys had a spot." Javelin casually replied, pointing to a small bench just on the other side of the walkway and next to the small lake in the center of the park.
"Thanks dude. Next time we hang out, beers are on me." Anon replied, nodding thankfully.
Anon and Sunshine walked over to the aforementioned bench and sat down next to each other. The small size of the bench, and the larger size of Anon's human frame, however, forced them to be much closer than what would be considered casual. Anon's shoulder was pressed against Sunshine's wither, making it slightly difficult for her to sit down comfortably.
"Hmm... We seem to find ourselves in a small predicament here." Sunshine mentioned as she strained against the armrest on the bench.
Anon looked for solutions but found only one. He glanced over to Sunshine nervously before clearing his throat, "I, uh... I think I have an idea that will make this more comfortable. If you're okay with it, that is."
"I'm willing to hear some suggestions." Sunshine teased as she wiggled around on the bench.
Anon leaned away from Sunshine before pulling his arm free and wrapping it around her other shoulder, freeing up the space between them in the process. Sunshine looked down at Anon's hand as it cupped her wither and brought his fingers just a hair's breadth from her chest fluff. A warm blush rose on her face as she quickly glanced over to Anon to see him looking away, an embarrassed look on his face.
Sunshine pursed her lips before looking down at Anon's hand once more and nuzzling it with her cheek.
"If you're gonna hold me like this, then you'd better put those fingers of yours to good use, mister." She ordered, her tone as teasing and friendly as it could be.
Anon looked over at the alabaster unicorn beside him as she took a long, slow lick of her sherbet ice cream to keep it from melting. A hot blush quickly formed on his face as he slowly pressed his digits into her fur and scratched.
"I think I can manage that."
Author's Note
Something something, hormones make us do stupid shit we know we shouldn't.
All's Fair in Love and War
Later in the Day
Luna struggled to keep her head upright as the noblepony before her driveled on and on about some important issue she stopped paying attention to half an hour ago. Her eyelids drooped heavily as she rested her cheek on her hoof in a futile attempt to appear as if she still cared about what he had to say.
"-and furthermore, your highness, none of us have even seen this Anon creature around the castle. It almost appears as if he simply disappeared. How can he be the royal consort if he's not even here?" The stallion asked, a displeased frown on his face.
For several moments, there was no response, but eventually, Raven nudged Luna's wither with her elbow, breaking the sleepy mare from her trance and startling her into sitting upright.
"Yes, yes! Of course! You're right! We'll fix this immediately." Luna regurgitated for the umpteenth time that day.
The noble stallion before her harrumphed, "I certainly hope so, Princess. We are all eager to see him fall into his role." He stated, before bowing and leaving the room.
Luna immediately slouched in her throne, her head falling backwards until she was seeing upside-down.
"Princess, you really should get some rest. I'm sure Princess Celestia will be here any moment," Raven commented, looking down at the schedule in her hooves that had no less than a dozen more names written on it, "The mayor of Manehattan will be here soon..."
Luna responded by snoring loudly, making the secretary pony's ears flick back in irritation, "Lieutenant Valorant, could you please inform the ponies outside that a situation has arisen and the Princess will no longer be accepting day court walk in's today." She asked, facehoofing.
Lieutenant Valorant nodded, "Of course, ma'am."
With that, the guardspony stepped away from the throne and exited the large throne room to address the crowd outside, leaving Raven with Luna as she snored loudly, sprawled out in a very unprincess-like fashion. Raven ignited her horn, a bright white light beaming out and quickly wrapping itself around the Lunar princess before adjusting her posture so that she was at least sitting upright.
"With the way this day is going, I'm not sure if it can get any worse." Raven muttered, eyeing the grandfather clock at the far side of the room.
A loud snort, followed by more heavy snoring was the only response Raven received before a bright flash of light to her left startled her and woke Luna. The dark alicorn yelped from the sudden flash and bang of a teleportation spell and promptly fell out of her throne, landing on her face with a groan.
"Ugh..." Luna croaked as she slowly pushed herself back up to her hooves.
"Luna! Oh my goodness, I am so sorry! I didn't mean to take so long but I just got hung up with Anon and-" Celestia began, only to silence herself as Luna held up a hoof.
"Five hours, Tia. You've been gone for five hours. Do you have any idea what 'not offering to take your duties for the entire day ' meant?" Luna seethed, her voice just above a growl.
"I-I know, and I am so sorry, Lulu-"
"Don't you Lulu me! I had to sit through that diplomat meeting for four hours! Four hours of just bickering back and forth about nothing! We accomplished literally nothing and they acted as if we'd performed some sort of miracle!" Luna exclaimed.
"Well to be honest, nothing happening is usually quite a good outcome." Celestia shrugged.
"-And the day court! How in Faust's name do you sit here and listen to these ponies complain!? I had to tell two ponies to stop fighting over an orange tree branch extending exactly ONE HOOF into the other one's yard! ONE BUCKING HOOF!" Luna shouted, before running out of steam and falling into her throne.
"Lulu! Are you alright!?" Celestia quickly rushed to her sister's side.
"I am fine. I am just... so Faust damned tired. What the hay took you so long, sister?" Luna asked, rubbing her temples with her hooves.
"I..." Celestia's words died on her tongue.
Both Luna and Raven raised an eyebrow, prompting the solar alicorn to sigh heavily and continue.
"I... I went to the park with Anon. I... fully intended to let him down gently as Sunshine, but right when I was walking up to him, he... kicked a rock. Right into my face." Celestia explained, a noticeable blush forming on her face.
"He kicked a rock into you face?" Raven inquired, leaning over to inspect Celestia's features.
"Is that why you have that red mark on your cheek?" Luna asked.
"Yes. Now, it wasn't his fault. He didn't see me and, well... I guess he was just doing something to pass the time while he waited for me to arrive." Celestia continued.
"Still, he shouldn't be kicking rocks in a public park, he could have hit somepony else." Raven offered, furrowing her brow.
"He could have even hit somepony important." Luna said, rolling her eyes.
Celestia pouted before picking up where she left off, "Anyways , he immediately apologized and Sergeant Javelin brought me an icepack. Anon spent the next half hour doting over me and apologizing profusely for the accident."
As she continued to speak, Celestia's face turned redder and redder. Both Luna and Raven shared a look before looking back at the blushing princess.
"And... how exactly do you go from getting a stone kicked into your face and doted on for thirty minutes to taking five hours to show up?" Luna asked, raising a brow.
"W-well... I... may have asked him for... ice cream to make it up to me." Celestia's face was now red as a tomato.
"You asked him to get you ice cream? Something that ponies do when they're interested in each other. When you went down there with the sole intent of letting him down gently so he wouldn't form an attachment to your old form and further complicate this already thoroughly complicated situation." Luna surmised, a deadpan look on her face.
Celestia began to sweat as she glanced back and forth between Raven and Luna. It took several moments of intense silence before the light alicorn sighed heavily and sank to her haunches.
"I know, I know. I'm sorry. It's just... his hands felt so good when he brushed them through my fur and mane... like little hooves gently combing through each fiber of hair. I just... found it impossible to break his heart like that. Before I knew it, we'd spent hours talking about life and how he was doing... We walked through the park and had a wonderful time. I know I shouldn't have done it... but I just felt so... normal for a change. I'm not sure I can explain it." Celestia frowned, her gaze lingering on the tile floor in front of her.
Luna raised an eyebrow at her sister's explanation, "So that's it? You went down there to let him down, return here in a timely manner, and retake your duties for the day, only to have a good time with Anon, and completely forget your reasons for being down there with him in the first place as well as your duties for the day?" She summed up.
Celestia looked to Raven for help.
"Don't look at me, Princess. I've been trying to keep the ponies from questioning your absence all day and it hasn't been easy." Raven turned her nose up at Celestia.
A defeated look crossed Celestia's face before she sighed quietly to herself, "I know... I am sorry. I've let you both down today, and for that I truly apologize. I don't know what I can do to make up for it, but if there's anything you can think of, I'll gladly do it." She offered, looking to Luna apologetically.
"Well for starters, you can take over my duties tonight to make up for this." Luna replied.
"That's fair enough, although I can't exactly go into ponies' dreams like you can, sister." Celestia nodded.
Luna tapped her chin in thought, "The dream realm is not something you need to concern yourself with. I'm sure ponies can survive one single night without my aide." She acquiesced.
Celestia nodded, "Thank you, Luna. Raven, what about you?" She asked, turning to the secretary.
Raven looked surprisingly up at Celestia, "Um, it's quite alright, Princess. I was only a little frustrated earlier, nothing to worry about. You don't have to make anything up to me... maybe just give me a warning before you disappear fifteen minutes before your meeting and send your sister in your stead."
Celestia chuckled, "I suppose that's fair enough. Luna, you should get to bed. You must be exhausted. Raven, has the mayor of-" She began.
"Not so fast, sister." Luna cut her off.
Celestia looked at Luna quizzically.
"Is it taken care of?" Luna asked.
"Is what taken care of?" Celestia replied.
"So we're going out again next weekend! God, this is amazing! I can't believe it. Can you?" Anon enthusiastically exclaimed as he sat on Javelin's couch.
"Of course I can, I was there." Javelin smirked from his spot next to Anon.
"And she's just so damn nice too! Like, what girl gets a rock to the face, then you get her ice cream and she just snuggles up to you for hours? Man, I think I'm actually falling in love." Anon recollected.
"You two do seem to make quite a nice couple. Even had a few of the other stallions and mares in the park eyeing you up. I was a bit too far away to hear, but where are you two planning on meeting again?" Javelin asked, eyeing Anon curiously.
"She wanted to meet up at the Mueller art museum up by the castle. Said she hasn't been there in forever and that she wanted to show me some of the cool stuff in there. I'm so excited bro, I can't wait!" Anon smiled a wide, beaming smile.
Javelin chuckled, "I'm happy for you. Looks like things are working out pretty well after all, huh? Glad you decided to go with me to the bar that day?" He playfully elbowed Anon in the ribs.
"Hehe, hell yeah I am. I think that was the best decision I've made in a while. Thanks again for that by the way. You really helped me out, dude." Anon gratefully replied.
Javelin dismissively waved a hoof, "Don't mention it. I'm glad I could help. But anyways, now that you've got your date all finished up and your day is all done, what're your plans for tonight?" He asked, curiously.
"Well... nothing, really. I was just probably gonna head back up to the castle, have dinner and read some more of those laws and shit so I don't piss of Raven tomorrow. She's fun to mess with, but scary when she gets frustrated." Anon explained with a small shiver.
"Yeah she is... scary hot... u-uh, well, if you want to hang out tonight, I'm down. My shift officially ends in fifteen minutes, so we can go out to another bar, or maybe a nightclub if you're feeling it." Javelin offered.
"A pony nightclub... now that's something that I've actually wanted to see for a while now." Anon replied, pursing his lips in thought.
"Come on, it'll be fun. You've got four months to learn that crap and nopony is expecting you to be a perfect diplomat once you're married to the princesses. They'll be by your side for probably every single meeting you ever attend until you're fifty." Javelin pressured.
"Well... I guess you've got a point. Still, I don't want to make things any harder than they're already going to be." Anon shrugged.
"Eh, that's clever of you, but you really don't need to worry. The princesses are basically diplomatic deities. Celestia especially. Over a thousand years of practice will do that for you. Even if you managed to screw something big up, which like I said, they'll do everything to prevent that, Celestia can probably just undo your screw up with the flick of her horn." Javelin dismissed.
Anon chewed on his tongue for a moment, "Well... when you put it like that, it does sound kinda silly to get so worked up about it... and I really have wanted to go out to a club for a really long time." He thought aloud.
"Soooooooooo... what you're saying is that you want to hang out tonight?" Javelin suggested, rolling his hoof in an encouraging manner.
Anon eyed Javelin's excited face for just a moment before chuckling to himself, "Alright, alright. How can I say no? Let's go out to the club." He relented.
"Atta boy!" Javelin cheered, patting Anon on the back enthusiastically.
"How are we gonna tell the princesses though? Aren't I supposed to have a guard with me at all times or something? That isn't drunk?" Anon asked.
"I've got it covered." Javelin replied, his horn sparking to life.
A piece of paper and pen quickly levitated over to the stallion before scribbling out a note and disappearing in a flash of light.
"What'd you write?' Anon asked.
"Told Lieutenant Valorant that I'm taking you to the club. Asked for a covert royal guard escort. If I know Valorant, she'll have a squad over within twenty minutes." Javelin construed.
Anon nodded, allowing a silence to fill the room for a few moments before a scroll popped back into existence above them, and was quickly snatched out of the air by Javelin's magic. The stallion quickly scanned through the scroll before raising his eyebrows for a moment, then nodding and giving Anon a grin.
"Just like I said. She's sending a couple night guards to watch over you while we're in the club. They should be here in about twenty minutes." Javelin explained.
"Damn, that was fast. What do you two have a two way link or something?" Anon inquired, cocking an eyebrow back in amazement.
"What? No. I just teleported the letter to her telling her where we are. She's always in her office this time of day." Javelin replied.
"Oh. Well, alright. Is she in charge of the night guards?" Anon asked.
"No, but she is in charge of your guard protection, so she can make requests for guards from either branch whenever she needs them to fill the gaps." Javelin clarified.
"Wait, I thought you were in charge of my protection. At least, that's what Celestia kept telling me." Anon pursed his lips.
Javelin shook his head, "Nah, she said I was assigned to you. Big difference. I'm essentially your handler, but Valorant is my boss. Rules are that guards of the same gender are usually assigned to royalty. So far, you're really the only one needing a stallion to guard them."
"Why are the rules that way?" Anon asked, perplexed.
"Eh, some things allegedly used to happen with certain members of royalty and their opposite gendered escorts that eventually allegedly ended a few careers and allegedly humiliated a few princesses... allegedly." Javelin elaborated, rolling his eyes.
"Ah, that does make sense. Well either way, I'm glad you got picked." Anon offered.
"Heh, not like they had much choice. Aside from Captain Armor, I'm really the only other stallion in the Canterlot Royal Guard that can even do this job. There's a few stallions that are cooks or other non-combat jobs, but as for actually protecting VIP's, I'm it." Javelin chuckled.
"There's really not a single other stallion in the royal guard that can actually guard people, or uh... ponies, I guess?" Anon questioned.
"Not in Canterlot at least. Captain Armor is the only other one but he's the Captain of the guard. It's not like they're gonna send him here to protect you, and besides, between you and me, it's pretty well known that he only got his position because he's engaged to Princess Cadence." Javelin responded, leaning in conspiratorially.
Anon tilted his head to the side, "What, is he just a display piece for her? I'm starting to see a pattern here..."
"Well, kind of. He's good at his job, no doubt. But he's also only got a few years of experience after the academy. To end up as Captain of the guard, he'd have to have been promoted seven times. Usually those promotions are once every two to five years. He's in one of the highest positions in the guard after only a fraction of the time it would take anyone else." Javelin disclosed.
"Well why the hell would they let him jump the whole chain that fast unless he's some kind of god at what he does?" Anon asked.
"It's a long story. The short of it, is that he's getting married to a Princess." Javelin shrugged.
Anon pursed his lips before shrugging himself, and leaning back into the couch, "What about the night guard? I haven't really even seen any of those guys yet."
"Well the night guard is an entirely different animal. They pretty much answer straight to Luna. Unless you're out at night and run into one, or try to find their supervisors directly in the castle, chances are you won't ever even see them." Javelin responded.
"Why's that?"
"Well, they're comprised entirely of thestrals, while the royal guard is made up of earth ponies, unicorns, and pegasai. So the night guard right off the bat is a lot smaller, and speaking of bats, they look kinda like them too." Javelin explained.
"What do you mean?" Anon inquired.
"Well-" Javelin began to respond, only for a pounding on his door to cut him off, "I think you're about to find out."
Javelin hopped off the couch and made his way over to the front door while Anon watched from behind. He quickly opened the door and greeted the pair of night guards standing outside. As they walked inside, Anon immediately noticed that their armor was a deep shade of violet, and blue. While royal guard armor was designed to be sleek, and regal in appearance, the night guard armor was imposing, and almost intimidating.
On the center of the chest plate of both guards, there was a circular bubble piece with a slit of darkness running down the middle, giving it the appearance of an eye that was always watching, and waiting. Two small wings of lighter violet spilled out of the eye, wrapping up the armor to the actual pair of wings sitting on the dark grey furred pony as they approached Anon. Leathery and thin, the wings of the batponies lived up to their names, as they looked like they were ripped straight from a bat and glued onto a pony.
His gaze trailing up to the equines' faces, Anon saw that their eyes were both a similar shade of amber, although their irises were narrow slits, just like a cat's eyes. On top of their heads, instead of a mane, they had a spiked membrane, much like their wings, sticking up in a mohawk. Just below the brim of their helmets, a pair of fangs poked out from their closed mouths, almost as if to highlight the fact that everything about them screamed 'vampire'.
Anon continued to stare at the pair of thestrals as they stood before him for a few moments before he noticed that they were both saluting him. He quickly and awkwardly gave a small salute, to which they promptly dropped theirs.
"Sir, we're here to watch over you tonight." A growly, definitively male voice spoke up.
Anon nearly did a double take at hearing the stallion's voice before the stallion next to him spoke up.
"We'll be out of sight and in the shadows. If anypony lays a hoof on you, we'll be there." The other guard spoke, his voice slightly higher pitched than the other's, although still very gravelly.
"Uh... okay, that's good to hear. Say, can you two answer a couple quick questions for me?" Anon probed, looking them both over curiously.
"Of course, sir." The first guard replied.
"Well, firstly, can I get your names? I dunno if you're like Jav here and are super up tight while you're working, but I'd prefer to keep things as casual as we can." Anon inquired.
"My callsign is Dusk. Rank, Sergeant, First Class." The first stallion replied.
"I am Echo. Rank, Staff Sergeant." The second stallion answered.
"Callsign?" Anon tilted his head to the side.
"Apologies, sir. We're forbidden from sharing our actual names with any creatures aside from Princess Luna and Celestia. Once you're officially a prince, then you'll be allowed access to classified information." Dusk responded, curtly.
"So... I take it that's a 'no' on the casual thing, then." Anon surmised.
"As I said, sir, we'll be out of sight. We're only here to formally introduce ourselves and inform you of your protection for the evening. As far as your night goes, you and Sergeant Javelin are more than welcome to be as casual as you'd like with each other. As for us, should you ever need us, you may refer to us by our callsigns. We don't usually associate by rank." Dusk explained.
Anon nodded slowly, "Alright, so it looks like it's just you and me then, Jav."
"Looks that way," Javelin agreed, before looking to Dusk and Echo, "Say, Sergeant, aren't you both a little... I dunno, overqualified for this mission? I mean, an E-six and E-seven seem like overkill for just guard duty." He mentioned.
"We were pulled from our usual duties by Princess Luna herself and ordered to protect Consort Anonymous for the evening." Echo replied.
Anon gave Javelin a surprised look, "Luna? Jav, I thought you sent the letter to Valorant, not all the way up to Luna."
"I didn't. I sent it straight to Val. How did the princess get a hold of it?" Javelin asked, a puzzled look in his eyes.
"Princess Luna was heading to her quarters to retire for the evening when she ran into Lieutenant Valorant. She mentioned Consort Anonymous's whereabouts with the Lieutenant when your letter appeared. She immediately ordered us to provide your protection for the night and headed to her quarters. She requested that she not be disturbed for the rest of the night. She was very adamant about getting her rest after today's events." Dusk explained.
Anon and Javelin shared a look, "Wait, I thought Luna was supposed to work the night shift... what was she doing working all day?" Anon asked.
"I'm not sure, sir. I've only been up for an hour myself." Dusk responded.
"Huh... Well, I guess that's about everything. Let's get to this nightclub then." Anon suggested, pushing himself to his feet.
"About time! Come on, you promised me a beer." Javelin smirked as he opened the front door again and ushered Anon and the thestrals out.
"Yeah, yeah. You're the one taking forever." Anon joked, following the stallion once he closed the front door and headed toward the street.
"Well I gotta close the front door. Don't want bugs getting into my house and making a home for themselves in all my fruit. I paid good bits for that stuff." Javelin shot back over his shoulder.
The group of four walked on the sidewalk until arriving at the intersection at the end of the cul-de-sac. Once there, they turned left and headed down toward the lower district. As they passed through the thinning evening crowds of ponies, Anon looked down to Javelin.
"So, what's the name of this nightclub?" Anon asked.
"It's called 'The Riviera'. It's down in the lower district, but it's one of the nicest clubs in the city. Tons of huge electronic musicians perform there all the time. In fact.. I'm pretty sure DJ-Pon3 is gonna be there tonight. I've been seeing flyers all week about her show. It's probably gonna be wild." Javelin explained, an excited grin on his face.
"Hell yeah. Finally get to hear some electronic music. Been listening to nothing but fucking harps up in the castle all week." Anon smirked.
The group pressed on toward their destination, but, unbeknownst to them, a pair of hidden eyes watched their movement from afar.
Author's Note
Batponies are dope. They deserve to have a spot in all of my stories. Gen 5 too.
All's Fair in Love and War
Chapter 13: Nocturnal Shenanigans
Anon followed behind Javelin as the unicorn led him toward the booming music and cheering ponies at the Riviera. Neon lights beamed from the windows as ponies danced and partied in full view of any passer-by's that might walk past the club. Anon raised his brow at the sight before turning back to look at his night guards.
"So, do you guys just-" Anon paused, upon noticing that there was nobody behind him.
Anon blinked owlishly at the disappearance of his guard detail before turning back to Javelin and tapping him on the wither.
"Hey, uh, Jav? Where did they go?" Anon asked, looking back behind him once more.
Javelin looked over his shoulder and shrugged, "They're night guards. Staying out of sight is kinda their thing. They said they'd be out of sight, out of mind while we're here, so I guess this is just par for the course with them." He said, dismissively.
Anon pursed his lips before shrugging himself and following Javelin to the front door, and the line that was already spilling out of the building. At least thirty ponies stood between Anon and Javelin, and the club. Javelin stood on the tips of his hooves to get a better view over the line, but couldn't make out anything due to the taller earth ponies in front of him.
"I can't see anything... you're tall, how many ponies are in front of us?" He asked, looking up to Anon.
Anon squinted as he looked over the line before responding, "I dunno, maybe a couple dozen. Why?"
Javelin waved a hoof in dismissal, "Bah, screw that. We're not waiting that long, come on." He said, before pushing his way around the line.
"Wait, Jav!" Anon called as he quickly hurried after the stallion.
"Hey!" A mare shouted.
"Watch where you're going!" A stallion jeered.
"Hey no cutting!" Another stallion called as Javelin reached the front of the line with Anon coming in right behind him.
The bouncer, a tall earth pony mare, eyed Javelin and Anon with a raised brow, "I assume you have a reason for just cutting the line like that, 'cause if you don't, your flanks are going right to the very back." She deadpanned.
"Not to worry, I have a permit," Javelin announced, before pointing at Anon, "He's the new consort of the princesses and he's looking for some fun here. Let us in now, please."
The mare looked Anon over as he sheepishly scratched the back of his neck and looked at anything other than the bouncer sizing him up.
"Hmm... I do remember seeing that in the news. That true, mr... uh, sorry, can't say I recall your name." She offered with an apologetic shrug.
"Uh, Anon, and it's fine. Really, you don't have to-" Anon started, only for Javelin to cut him off.
"Keep talking because there's a line behind us and it'd be a shame if they had to wait any longer than they already have to so we'll just be on our way, okay thanks bye." Javelin hastily chimed in before trotting into the door and magically dragging Anon behind him.
"JAaaaaaaaaaaaavelin!" Anon cried as he was quickly yanked inside, the door slamming shut behind him.
"Whew, that was close." Javelin breathed a sigh of relief as he wiped a bead of sweat from his brow.
"What gives, dude? Anon indignantly questioned.
"Bro, every mare and stallion behind us was giving us a death glare. I had to get you inside before they jumped us. I may be good, but I'm not 'take on three dozen ponies at once' good. Even with your night guards, I doubt that'd end well." Javelin shook his head.
"Well maybe they were giving us such dirty looks because we just showed up and you totally abused my new title to cut the line?" Anon crossed his arms.
Javelin sheepishly chuckled, "Well... you gotta admit, it did work. Besides, what's the point of being royalty if you can't enjoy a few perks every now and again?"
"Is that a rhetorical question?"
"No?"
Anon pinched the bridge of his nose, "Jesus, Jav. Alright look, from now on, let's not go around trying to get free handouts and shit because of what my title is. I already feel weird enough accepting the position in the first place, I don't want to get a rep as the douchey alien that just takes advantage of his status to get free stuff."
Javelin held his forelegs up in surrender, "Alright, alright. Just this once." He agreed.
Anon nodded, "Good. Now, let's go see what all the hype is about. If the line to get in was that long outside, there must be a good reason."
"Oh you have no idea." Javelin grinned as the duo headed into the main foyer.
As they progressed, the muffled sound of music quickly grew in both volume and intensity, filling the air with deep base and hypnotic techno music that drew them closer. Anon and Javelin rounded the corner, finding themselves in the main room of the club, and were immediately blinded by bright pink neon lights and iridescent blue lights that shifted to red, yellow, green, and back to blue with each passing second.
The bar on the first floor was filled with ponies buying, drinking, and pouring drinks of every brand and variety Anon could think of. Vodka, gin, rum, cider, beer, jaeger, whiskey, and even magically enhanced drinks that glowed brightly against the contrasting neon lights poured from the bartenders taps as more and more ponies practically threw their bits onto the bar.
Before he could ask questions, Anon felt Javelin tug on his jacket with his magic, and he looked down to see what the stallion was looking at. Javelin pointed to the far side of the room, leading Anon's eyes to a sight that made him step back in amazement. The dancefloor, in the center of the room and right in front of the DJ's booth, was filled with every race of pony, griffons, minotaurs, and even a few donkeys. The music pounded against their ears as the dancefloor itself lit up in every shade of color from the rainbow with each beat, almost like a pulsing heart that drove the dancers on.
The mare behind the DJ booth, a white unicorn with an electric blue mane and a pair of magenta tinted shades that reflected the spectrum of color present in the room, bobbed her head along with the music as she adjusted her mix tray. Heavy, synthetic beats boomed through the building, almost making the walls shake as the speakers blared. Anon found himself entranced by the music as Javelin bobbed his head alongside him.
"Come on! Let's go get a drink!" Javelin called out over the music, gaining Anon's attention.
Anon looked down to Javelin and nodded as they turned to head over to the bar. Several mares with glow stick rings around their hooves and necks passed by, along with a few stallions in more than questionable get-up that made Anon crease his brow. Before he could ask questions about the borderline BDSM-y outfits of the stallions, Javelin pulled him over to the bar with his magic and pointed to two empty stools on the corner.
As the duo entered the bar area, the sound of the music immediately dampened to a level quiet enough to talk normally. Anon looked up to see a barely visible aura of magic lining the ceiling and floor around the bar. He shook his head in disbelief before Javelin pulled him over to the empty chairs and they took their seats. Immediately, a pair of mares looked over in their direction. The pegasus of the pair quickly trotted over to them and leaned over the bar, next to Javelin.
"Can I get you a drink, you sexy colt?" She asked in a husky voice.
Javelin leaned onto the bar himself, his muzzle coming just a few scant inches away from hers, "Can you get me two of the lava flows, cutie?" He salaciously inquired, with a teasing wink.
"I think I can do that." She purred before trotting over to grab one of the bartenders.
Javelin looked over to see Anon giving him a curious, yet amused look.
"What? You gotta take advantage of the free drinks, dude. Besides, she's not really my type." Javelin shrugged.
"Well I'd hate to be the one to break it to her, 'cause you sure made it sound like you were interested in more than drinks." Anon chuckled.
Javelin shook his head, "Eh, I didn't agree to anything, I just asked for a drink. If she thinks it's gonna go further than that, then that's on her."
Anon laughed, "Oh, you are such a tease. Saving yourself for Ms. Inkwell, are you?"
Javelin immediately blushed, "N-no! I'm just... selective. Once you're married to a mare, or even worse, in a herd, you have a lot of responsibility to them." He defended.
"Oh yeah? Like what? Make sure they're plowed every week? Sounds so horrible." Anon joked.
"More like every day. You missed most of last Estrus season since you were still cooped up in your house, but just you wait. In a few weeks, these mares are gonna be so horny, they'll be throwing themselves at, or on , quite literally anything with a penis. I try to keep my life manageable, thank you." Javelin explained, holding up his hoof in a defensive manner.
Anon scoffed, "Oh I'm sure it's not that bad. You're just overexaggerating." He dismissed.
"Dude, trust me, I'm not kidd-" Javelin began, only for two drinks to slide across his field of view and stop just in front of his hooves.
"Hey there, stud. Got you your drinks. Now, how's about you drink those down real quick and we go find somewhere private?" The mare asked, her tone dripping with lust.
Anon eyed the mare with a raised brow. Her eyes almost appeared to be fully dilated, and her soft yellow coat was noticeably blushing red around her cheeks, ears, and chest. She stared Javelin down like he was a piece of meat, and she was a starving wolf, ready to pounce after weeks without food. Anon quickly felt a wave of concern wash over him as she lingered, just a little too close for comfort, next to Javelin as he took a sip of the first drink.
"Now that's the good stuff. Thanks." Javelin smiled, before pushing the other drink over to Anon, "Here, this one's for you, dude."
"So, you wanna head upstairs?" The mare questioned, her hungry eyes glued to Javelin's flank as she bit her lip in anticipation.
"In a bit. I'm here with my friend after a long week. You can find me easy enough, just come grab me a bit later into the night." Javelin purred, nuzzling his cheek against her chest fluff.
The mare moaned softly at the unicorn stallion's touch, and her wings extended to their full span before flapping excitedly a few times. She nickered softly before shakily nodding and stepping away. The blush on her face and chest was much more noticeable as she stepped into more direct light.
"A-alright, stud... I'll find you later." She said, licking her lips in anticipation.
The mare stared at Javelin for another moment before walking back off to the other side of the bar, leaving the pair alone.
Javelin quickly turned to Anon, "Dear Celestia she almost got me. Another few seconds in her scent and I would've been hers." He admitted shaking his head to clear his senses.
"What? What do you mean? Are you alright? She didn't drug you or anything, did she?" Anon questioned, looking into Javelin's drink, and then his own.
"No, no. Nothing like that," Javelin shook his head, "She's in heat. Must've gone in early. Wait, you're telling me you couldn't smell her?" He asked.
"I mean, I smell a lot of things in here, but I couldn't really pick out a particular scent coming from her... maybe some mango, but otherwise, no." Anon shrugged.
Javelin shook his head in disbelief, "Bro, how can you not smell her estrus? That mare was practically waving it into our faces with her tail." He asserted.
"I didn't really notice it. I mean, my nose isn't as sensitive as yours is, so that's probably why." Anon shrugged yet again.
"Well that must be nice then. She almost got me raring to go right here and now. Gonna have to watch that one. That's the type of mare that's liable to follow you home and force you to stick it in her." Javelin shivered, downing more of his drink.
"Yet you still flirted up a storm with that mare and are still drinking the drink she gave you." Anon deadpanned.
Javelin paused mid-sip to look over at Anon, then back to his drink, and then back to Anon again before putting the glass down on the table, "Well I'm not gonna say no to a free drink. I'm not crazy. Besides, she already put it in front of me, what am I supposed to do? Not drink it?' He scoffed.
"Whatever man, you do you. Anyways, this club seems pretty legit," Anon replied, before taking a sip of his own drink, "Just know that if I got the roofied one, you're gonna have to carry me back to your place... god damn this shit is good."
Javelin laughed out loud, "Dude, you're so paranoid. This is one of the most highly respected clubs in Canterlot. There's security all over the place, and thanks to you, we kinda have a high profile, no offense. We're being watched by like, thirty different bouncers, bartenders with a panic button right under hoof, and undercover guards that watch this place for exactly what you're talking about. Relax and live a little." He explained, dismissively waving a hoof.
Anon leaned back in his stool, his eyes slowly tracing across the room to find that there were in fact, several pairs of eyes on both him and Javelin. Beyond the bouncers and bartenders, several ponies from all over the club were starting to notice the lone human and the unicorn stallion next to him. The feeling of all the eyes suddenly on him made Anon squirm slightly in his seat and adjust his collar nervously.
"Alright, I guess you've got a point. So what do you want to do now? Usually when I go to a club, I'm trying to pick up girls, but I'm already interested in Sunshine, so I'm not really here to get laid or anything." Anon responded, looking back to Javelin.
"Well we can head upstairs and see if there's a VIP section where we can totally abuse that rank and status of yours again?" Javelin teased, giving Anon puppy dog eyes.
"Yeah, fat chance of that." Anon rolled his eyes with a smirk.
"Alternatively, we can go out on the dance floor. I'm sure everypony in the building is eager to see what a human dances like. Not really sure how you even can with those legs of yours. They totally bend the wrong way." Javelin thought aloud, his gaze shifting down to Anon's knees.
"My legs bend perfectly fine for a human, thank you. You ponies are the ones with two pairs of legs that bend in opposite directions." Anon shot back.
"Well they certainly work for running fast and dancing." Javelin chuckled.
Anon turned around in his bar stool, resting his elbows on the bar and looking out into the crowd of dancing ponies across the room.
"Yeah, not really seeing any impressive dance moves here. Just some bobbing and weaving, maybe some side-steps, but nothing crazy like what I've seen people do on Earth. I mean, I've seen dudes spin on the tops of their heads and do backflips as part of a dance routine." Anon commented.
"Well, duh? This isn't a dance routine, it's a club for ponies to get drunk, hook up, and have some fun dancing together before they go home to continue to hook up," Javelin replied, shrugging, "If you want to see an actual dance routine, then you'd have to go to a show."
"Like those times ponies just randomly break out into song in the middle of the street? 'Cause that's happened like, three times since I got here and each time I'm totally lost. One time I was right in the middle of it and they all kinda looked at me at one point like I was supposed to continue the song." Anon responded.
"Eh, not sure about that. I've lived here my whole life and never seen that." Javelin dismissed.
"If you say so. Sure was awkward." Anon dropped the subject.
Javelin grabbed his drink and slammed the rest of it back before slamming the glass onto the table and shaking his head, "Alright, let's get out onto that dance floor." He declared.
"What? Right now? Are you sure?" Anon questioned, a nervous look crossing his brow as he looked back and forth between Javelin and the dance floor.
"Hay yeah, right now. Gotta show you that we ponies are the better dancers. Now let's get out there." Javelin nodded toward the stage as he hopped off his stool.
"Wait, Jav, what if we headed upstairs first?" Anon asked, hastily stepping in front of the stallion with a nervous grin.
Javelin eyed Anon for a moment before his eyes lit up in realization. A supremely smug look quickly spread over his face as he leaned toward Anon with the smuggest, widest grin he could muster.
"You're afraid to go out on the dance floor, aren't you?" He asked, already well aware of the answer.
Anon sheepishly looked away, "Well, no... it's just... been a while since I did any dancing." He awkwardly chuckled.
Javelin trotted up to Anon's side, "Aw, come on, dude! You can't tell me you're actually scared to go out there and dance! Nopony cares if you look like you've got three left hooves out there, they're just there to have a good time." He offered, dropping the smug grin and placing a reassuring hoof on Anon's knee.
Anon looked down to Javelin with a frown, "I want to believe you, I really do... but I'm just not sure if I'm ready to go out and dance myself, just yet. You remember what I said about crowds, well unless I've had a lot of alcohol, it goes double for dancing." He shivered.
Javelin rolled his eyes, "I remember, but come on, dude! It'll be fun! Besides, I need somepony to watch my back in case that pegasus sneaks up on me again. She's liable to get pregnant if I'm not careful and I'm not ready to be a father yet!" He pleaded clasping both hooves together in front of Anon.
Anon sighed, "You're the one that was reciprocating. Look, I'm sorry, man. Maybe next time, but for now, I just want to kind of chill out and enjoy the music for a bit. Hell, maybe if I get a few more drinks in me, then I'll be down to dance with you out there. I do tend to get more lively when I'm drunk." He relented.
Javelin pursed his lips as his eyes slowly migrated back to the bar, "Hmm... so what you're saying... is that I need to get you more drinks?"
Anon laughed, "Maybe, dude. Here, why don't you go ahead and dance a bit or whatever, and I'll get started on the drinks. Maybe once I've had five or six, then I'll be willing to go out there and make myself into a laughing stock." He joked.
Javelin nodded, apparently satisfied with the arrangement, "Alright, dude. I'll be back in probably like, twenty minutes or something. You'd better have at least five or six empty glasses next to you and a slur in your speech." He asserted, before turning tail and heading toward the dance floor.
Anon chuckled and shook his head as he reclaimed his seat at the bar. He grabbed his drink and polished it off before looking to the bartender and waving to get their attention.
"Can I get another one of these?" He asked.
"Certainly, sir. Would you like to open a tab?" The barmare asked.
"Yeah, sure. Just put it under 'Anon'." Anon replied.
"Of course. I'll have that for you in a second, sir." The mare replied before mixing the drink.
Anon nodded before resting his elbows on the bar and twiddling his thumbs as he waited for his drink. A few moments passed in peace before he saw a mare take the seat next to him in his peripheral vision. Anon pointedly ignored the mare for almost an entire minute before she tapped on his shoulder, forcing him to turn his head to see the soft, sky blue coat of Nightshade as she smiled back at him.
Anon stared in shock as the bartender returned with his drink and deposited it right against his hand. The ice cold feeling broke him from his shock and he shook his head clear of his surprise before addressing the gorgeous mare properly.
"N-Nightshade?! What're you doing here?" He asked, a surprised, but happy smile forming on his face.
"Oh I was just in the neighborhood and heard that a particularly interesting creature was visiting this club. My curiosity piqued, I just had to come see what all the fuss was about." Nightshade beamed, before looking down to Anon's drink.
Alright, Luna. We can do this. Just like we rehearsed in our room. 'Anon, I apologize if my sister gave you the wrong idea, but neither of us are looking for a relationship right now. We would both absolutely love to be your friend, if you would still allow it.' Nightshade thought to herself.
Anon, following her eyes, looked at his drink, and the swirling vortex of white and red as the magic inside the drink continued to stir the mixture without any kind of outside intervention.
"I think it's called a 'lava flow'," Anon explained, pushing the drink toward Nightshade, "Wanna try it?"
Nightshade shook her head, "Oh, I couldn't possibly take your drink, Anon. It's yours." She declined.
"I just got one for free before this one. Besides, I'm planning on drinking a lot of these tonight." Anon pushed the drink even closer.
Nightshade looked as if she wanted to protest further, but quickly shook her head and levitated the drink to her lips with her magic, "You know what, after the day I've had, I think I can accept this little reward." She said, before taking a sip.
The sip quickly turned into a large gulp as Nightshade's eyes widened at the flavor and she continued to drink, downing almost half the drink in a matter of seconds. A worried look quickly crossed Anon's eyes before the drink was placed down on the bar and a deep blush creeped up Nightshade's face.
"Oh... oh dear. I-I'm so sorry, Anon. I did not mean to take so much of your drink, I just... it was so good." She apologized, an adorable pout forming on her lips.
Anon choked back a laugh at how quickly the mare went from bliss to downright depressed, and encouragingly pushed the drink toward her again.
"Here, don't even worry about it. I've got a tab open, and more bits than I know what to do with," He offered, before turning to the bartender once more, "Hey! Can I get another Lava Flow!?" He called.
"Sure thing!" The bartender replied.
"A-anon, you don't have to do that! B-besides, there's something I need to tell you that you really should hear before you're drunk." Nightshade pleaded, pushing Anon's drink back toward him with both hooves.
Anon laughed, "Now I'm not sure exactly what kind of day you had to warrant downing that much alcohol in one go, but since I'm here to celebrate, and I like you a lot, I want to buy you more. Besides, talking with you will keep me off the dance floor, so it's a win/win." He replied, dismissively waving his hand and pushing the drink back toward Nightshade.
Nightshade froze, "I-I know you like me... that's... why I came to talk."
"Well fire away then. I'm all ears." Anon gave a wide, happy smile to the soft blue mare.
Nightshade stared into Anon's eyes, finding a gentle warmth and excitement positively radiating off of him. After a few moments of silence, she looked away, down to the floor.
Buck, I can't do it... Nightshade cursed in her mind.
"Nightshade?" Anon pressed, placing his hand on her wither. His thumb instinctively drew little circles in her fur, making the unicorn blush.
"I-I... just wanted to say that I... y-you... really like me?" She asked, her ears burning as her cheeks heated up even more.
"Well of course I do! You and Sunshine are like, the only mares that have been nice to me since I got here. At least, with the exception of ponies that were working and it was their job to be nice to me." Anon shrugged.
Nightshade found her gaze drifting anywhere in the room except for the man sitting next to her, that is, until the bartender brought him his next drink. Anon slammed back almost half his drink as well and looked down at her with a warm smile.
"There, now, tell me how your day was."
Author's Note
I think you'll all really enjoy the next chapter. I think its the funniest one, personally.
All's Fair in Love and War
"-So that's basically everything. Long story short, I had to deal with essentially all of Sunshine's work for the day, on top of doing my own work beforehoof." Nightshade finished explaining, before taking a long swig of her fourth drink, finishing it off.
Anon put his sixth drink down on the table and whistled apologetically, "Well, uh... I-I'm real sorry to hear that, Nightshade. That's rough... I didn't know me going out with Sunshine today was gonna force you to do her work... and you said this is for a c-committee you two run outside of Canterlot?" He asked, perplexed.
Nightshade absentmindedly waved the bartender over while she fixed Anon with a hesitant look, "Y-yes. We've been running the committee for years now, and her just dumping her workload on me today after I spent all night doing my own work had me practically falling asleep in my th-chair." She explained.
Anon squinted at Nightshade for several seconds. She gulped nervously as a small bead of sweat appeared and ran down her neck.
"What's the name of the committee?" Anon inquired.
"I-it's, well... it's uh... for the homeless? Housing, I mean. For the homeless. It's a committee who's purpose is to help find housing for homeless ponies. It's called the 'Bridlewood Initiative'. Naturally we have to go all over Equestria to help those in need from time to time." Nightshade answered, with a forced smile.
Anon nodded slowly, the alcohol making his head tingly, "Uh huh... well that sounds... really nice of you... two. I didn't think Equestria had much of a homeless problem. Seems like pretty much all ponies have a home from what I've seen, but then again, this is the capitol... so, meh, that would make sense." He shrugged, uncommittedly.
Nightshade let out a discreet sigh of relief before the bartender deposited another lava flow in front of the unicorn mare. She deftly grabbed the drink with her magic before taking another deep gulp, much to Anon's concern.
"Hey, go easy on those. Tha-that's your fifth drink already. I don't want you to end up puking your guts out for the rest of the night." He chuckled.
"Worry not, Anon. I can hold much more liquor than you'd think." Nightshade dismissed.
"Alright, if you say so... j-just don't come crying to me when you're in the bathroom dry-heaving," Anon raised his hands in mock surrender, "Anyways, that sucks that you had to cover for her... if I'd have known that she'd leave you with... with all the work, I would have asked her to reschedule. That's kinda messed up that she left you to do that all by yourself... speaking of which, didn't you say you've been up since y-yesterday? Shouldn't you... you know, get some sleep?" He pressed, raising an eyebrow in concern.
Nightshade blushed ever so slightly at his words before waving her hoof in a placating manner, "I appreciate your concern, Anon, but I'm fine. Besides, I offered to cover for her. I should have expected she would take a bit longer than I originally anticipated. Having said that... I have taken a nap and drank some coffee. Besides, spending some time down here has quickly woken me up, so to speak. I'm still a tad sleepy, but nothing the music and good company can't fix." She playfully grinned, prompting Anon to smile in return.
"Well thank you. After today, I can't think of a better way to s-spend the night than with such good company. How have you been otherwise? I haven't seen you since last time at the gazebo." Anon replied, before finishing off his drink.
Before Nightshade could even say anything, the bartender was there with two news drink in hoof, and taking both of their old glasses with a smile.
"Damn, they're fast." He chuckled.
"Probably want to get that tip," Nightshade laughed as well, "As to your question, I've been doing well. Work has seen me plenty busy, and I've been speaking with my sister regularly, so that's been most enjoyable." She answered, a fond smile on her lips.
Anon chewed his cheek and nodded for a few moments, earning a curious look from the mare sitting next to him.
"Is there something wrong, Anon?" Nightshade questioned.
"No, no. Nothing wrong... it's just... nevermind." Anon shook his head before taking another drink from his glass before resting his hand on the bar.
"Anon, it's clearly not nothing. What's wrong?" Nightshade pressed, placing her hoof on his hand.
For a fleeting second, they both looked down to the point of contact between them. Anon felt his heart beat just a tad faster as the gentle caress of Nightshade's warm hoof softly contacted his hand. Nightshade felt a hot blush creep up her chest as she realized just what she was doing, but before she could pull away, Anon spoke.
"M-maybe... maybe this is just the alcohol talking, but... you and Sunshine seem... an awfully lot like Celestia and Luna... I-I mean in that you both look a lot like them, and... and talk kinda like them... it's been kinda nagging at my head since I met you guys so soon after... w-well after meeting them." Anon explained, his brow deeply furrowed in thought.
Nightshade felt her throat dry up almost instantly, "W-well, Anon of course we look like them. Celestia is our ancient grandmother. Unicorn families of old w-were incredibly peculiar about looking like the royal sisters. To the point of only marrying ponies with the whitest, or darkest blue coats. That's why there's so many white unicorns in Canterlot... although I suppose I'm a bit... less of a common color. Most likely because ponies didn't want to associate with a monster." She explained, a small frown forming on her face.
Anon waved his hands placatingly, "I-I didn't mean to offend you, I was just... well you know, curious. It all just seemed so... coincidental, but that makes a lot of sense.
Nightshade quickly shook her head, "Oh, don't apologize, Anon. You haven't offended me. To answer your other question, we were both raised in the castle, so our mannerisms were taught to us from Celestia or other royalty. Sometimes I forget how strange your circumstance is at the moment. I can see how you would find meeting my sister and I as incredibly suspicious." She chuckled, a hint of nerves in her laugh.
Anon let out a laugh, "Yeah, I... I probably won't remember a lot of tonight anyways, but that was... kinda on my mind. Thanks for explaining it though. Now that that's cleared up, I do have something I want to ask about your sister." He explained, awkwardly scratching the back of his neck.
"What's that, Anon?" Nightshade inquired.
"Has... well, I'm sure she has mentioned it, but... has Sunshine... talked about me at all?" Anon asked, looking to Nightshade with a look of uncertainty in his eyes.
"Talked? About you?" Nightshade parroted, her brows furrowing in confusion.
"Yeah. I mean, w-well... today was a lot of fun. I had a really good time with her and I was looking forward to this all week... so I-I wanted to know if, maybe... well, if maybe she was looking forward to it as much as I was." Anon explained.
Nightshade pursed her lips and turned her gaze to the point of contact between them. She felt Anon's hand under the frog of her hoof, and the way his bony appendage seemed to pulse with each beat of his heart. She hesitantly looked back to the tall man, finding him to be waiting patiently for an answer.
"Well... Sunshine..." She trailed off.
Confound you, Tia! Why did you have to go and make things so complicated!? I came down here to tell him that you two were through but I can't even do that now! It'll break his heart! Nightshade's thoughts raged.
Another moment passed in painful silence, prompting Anon's brow to furrow, and his gaze to slowly drift down to the floor.
"Sunshine was excited to see you. Hay, she couldn't stop talking about you after she got back from your date." Nightshade admitted, after some time.
Anon's face lit up with excitement, instantly, "Oh thank God. I was starting to worry she was just putting on an act or something to spare my feelings." He breathed a sigh of relief.
Nightshade allowed a thin smile to grace her face before turning back to her drink and downing the rest of it in one go. She blinked back a few tears as the alcohol burned down her throat. Anon quickly followed her lead, downing the rest of his drink in one long gulp, before pushing both their mugs toward the bartender.
"I have to say, I envy what you and my sister have. I don't think a stallion has shown interest in me in years." Nightshade whispered, before chuckling quietly to herself.
Anon looked down to the soft azure mare next to him and frowned, "Are you serious? But... you're absolutely beautiful! How... how could a stallion not be interested in you?" He questioned.
Nightshade looked to him with surprise written in her eyes.
Tartarus, he heard that!? She thought.
Nightshade turned a shade paler as her eyes frantically darted around the room for anything she could use as a distraction. She felt her ears burning as Anon's disbelieving gaze lingered over her, forcing her to quickly answer.
"I... well I've not had much luck in the dating department... at least, when it comes to stallions. Please, just forget I said anything." She dismissed, hoping that it would be enough.
It was not, as Anon pressed on, "No, no! Come on, you have to tell me about this now. W-What's problems have you had? It can't be your looks. Like I said, you're stunning. It can't be your personality. You're an absolute joy to talk to. I don't see what could possibly be wrong with you. Whatever it is, it must be with them. Maybe they're blind. Or just gay?" Anon shrugged.
Nightshade felt her entire face slowly turning tomato red as Anon continued to compliment her. Against her will, her heart beat faster at his kind words, and she felt a slight fluttering in her chest as she was lavished with praise.
"Y-you're too kind, Anon. Thank you. I... suppose part of it is on them... although I must admit that for the longest time... I did not find many stallions to my liking. I... preferred the mares to the stallions, given a choice." Nightshade admitted, her eyes glued to the bar as she desperately tried to keep her gaze from reaching Anon.
Anon slowly nodded his head in realization, "Ooooooooooooooh. I see. Sorry, didn't mean to assume." He apologized.
Nightshade quickly shook her head, "Oh, no, don't apologize, Anon. You were being very kind. I haven't heard... almost anypony say such kind things about me in a very long time." She smiled.
Anon nodded and returned the smile, "Well it's the honest truth. Although... I couldn't help but notice you said you 'preferred' mares to stallions, which kinda implies that you've changed your mind on the subject." He replied, giving her his full attention.
Nightshade blushed even harder, "W-well... some stallions may have caught my eye recently." She mumbled, pointedly looking away from Anon.
Anon leaned forward, "I don't suppose that stallion might happen to be in this very room?" He asked, conspiratorially.
Nightshade gulped, "He very well may be."
Anon blinked in surprise. He slowly looked to his left, and then to his right, before his eyes slowly trailed back to the cerulean unicorn sitting in front of him with a noticeable blush on her face. His eyes squinted slightly as he leaned just a tad closer. Nightshade felt her breath hitch as Anon's dark brown eyes gazed into hers as if she was the only mare on the planet.
The two of them drifted closer, until there was barely a foot of space between them. Time slowed down, and the dazzling lights of the nightclub blurred to waves of color that barely registered as the pony and man closed even more distance. Nightshade felt a bead of sweat run down her neck as her heart pounded away in her chest so fast that her vision seemed to distort with its rhythm. Her eyelids drifted down half way, narrowing her vision to only the human closing in on her like a thirsty gazelle to a river.
"Nightshade?" Anon asked.
"Y-yes, Anon?" Nightshade replied, awestruck.
"You've got something on your muzzle." Anon pointed out, bringing his finger to the aforementioned muzzle.
Nightshade crossed her eyes as she tried to look at exactly what Anon was pointing at, but she could not see it. Anon deftly grabbed the cherry stem stuck to her muzzle and deposited it on the table, earning a frown from the unicorn mare as he sat back in his seat, completely unaware of the raging emotions going through her mind.
That colt just toyed with me! How dare he! Why didn't he say anything sooner!? WHY ARE THERE EVEN CHERRY STEMS IN THE DRINKS HERE OH MY FAUST I LOOK LIKE SUCH A FOAL RIGHT NOW! WHY AM I EVEN SO HOT AND BOTHERED ANYWAY?! IT REEKS OF ESTRUS IN HERE, WHAT MARE WAS JUST SITTING HERE BATHING ANON IN HER PHEROMONES?!?!?! SHE'S TURNING ME ON!!!!! Nightshade screamed in her head.
After a few moments of painful silence, Anon downed the rest of his drink and turned back to Nightshade, "So, who's the stallion? If he's in here, then I might be able to help hook you up... unless it's Javelin, I'm pretty sure he's got his eyes set on that secretary. No point in trying to change his mind. I've tried. Not that hard, but I did try." Anon shrugged as he waved the bartender back over.
Nightshade pursed her lips as she contemplated her response for almost an entire minute. Eventually, her silence earned her a look of curiosity and concern from Anon as he sipped his newest drink, before she managed to come up with a response and turned to him.
"W-well, he's tall... handsome... has a nice green coat. I-I mean-" Nightshade stuttered out.
"Green, huh? Well that shouldn't be too hard to find. Not too many ponies have a green coat, and if he's tall and handsome, then that narrows it down even more," Anon replied before looking down into his drink, "I think I've had enough of these to not be worried if I end up making a damn fool outta myself out there, so I'll go look for him." He announced, before chugging the rest of his drink and slamming the glass on the bar.
"Hey! Careful with the glass! You break it, you buy it." The bartender irately called as Anon stood up.
"Sorry!" Anon called back.
Nightshade pushed herself off her stool and grabbed Anon's pantlegs, "W-wait, Anon! What are you doing!?" She exclaimed.
"Gonna find the nice looking stallion that you're interested in, and give him a little nudge. Don't worry, Nightshade, I'll have you hooked up with that guy by the end of the night." Anon grinned, stepping toward the dancefloor.
Nightshade tried with all her might to stop Anon from walking to the dance floor, but his gait was just too powerful for her hooves to stop, and he stepped past her with a hearty chuckle.
"You can't stop me now, Nighty. I'm gonna find this colt and make sure you're banging him by last call, you can count on that!" Anon chuckled with a playful wink.
Nightshade felt the color drain from her face once more as Anon walked past her and onto the dancefloor. She frantically looked for any way to stop the man before he could make a fool out of her, or worse, himself. Sadly, she could find no way to steer him away from the crowd, and quickly found herself biting her hooves in concern as Anon strode up to the nearest group of stallions with a single green unicorn among them. The ponies continued to dance as Anon arrived and greeted them with a wave of his hand.
"Well good evening there my feathered and horned friends!" Anon called over the deafening music.
"What!?" The olive drab unicorn responded.
"You're horny!? The pink pegasus mare shouted back, "Me too! Where's that sexy colt I saw earlier!? I need him inside me, yesterday!" She loudly announced before trotting off the dancefloor in search of her prey.
"Not what I meant, but okay!" Anon shrugged, "I was wondering if you knew a mare named Nightshade!" He yelled.
"Who!?" The unicorn replied.
"Nightshade! She's the gorgeous mare over there! Unicorn! Light blue with a really pretty greenish blue mane and tail!" Anon announced, pointing back at a now comically red Nightshade.
The olive drab unicorn looked past Anon at her and raised an eyebrow, "Nah! Can't say I know her! Why!?" He responded.
"Well she's a hell of a looker! I mean, honestly, look at how cute she is! Single too! Maybe you should go talk to her!"
The stallion looked over to Nightshade for a few moments before returning his attention to Anon, "She is pretty cute, but I'm afraid I'm not really looking to date right now!" He replied.
"You sure!? I mean... if you don't ask her out, I just might!" Anon responded.
"Go ahead! She looks like she's eyeing you more than me anyways!" The stallion responded with a laugh.
Anon looked behind him to find that Nightshade was indeed staring at him, and not the stallion he was speaking to. After a moment of thought, he turned back to the olive drab stallion.
"Nevermind then!" Anon dismissed, waving the unicorn off and heading back toward the center of the dancefloor.
As ponies, minotaurs, and griffons all danced around him, Anon stroked his fingers against his chin whilst supporting his elbow with his other hand, appearing as if he was in deep thought. His gaze slowly shifted from one side of the room, to the other, and then back again, while his expression remained completely neutral. After almost a minute of deep thought, he broke from his pose and walked directly over to Nightshade.
"Yeah, I got nothing. I don't see any other green stallions around here." He shrugged upon approaching Nightshade.
"Thank Faust. Come on, Anon, get off the dancefloor before you cause a scene." Nightshade admonished, a relieved look on her face.
"Yo, Anon!" Javelin called from across the dancefloor.
Anon turned around and waved to the unicorn stallion, "Hey dude! What's up!?" He shouted back over the music.
"Get out here and dance, dude! You owe me, remember!" Javelin yelled back, waving Anon over with both hooves.
"No wait, Anon, don't-" Nightshade started.
"Ah, there's my cue. Sorry, Nightshade, I'm gonna need a second to go show my friend how humans dance." Anon cut her off, without even turning around.
"Anon pleae-" Nightshade tried to speak, only for Anon to hold up a finger in front of her face.
"Shuuuush shush shush shush. There's nothing to fear, except fear itself. Worry not. I must go, my people need me." Anon prophetically announced, before striding toward Javelin.
"I... you... what the buck?" Nightshade managed as she tried to wrap her head around what just happened.
Meanwhile, Anon walked toward Javelin with an exaggerated swagger in his step, ensuring that each time his foot hit the floor synced with the beat of the slow but energetic bass. Javelin danced alongside a couple mares as Anon approached, a confused, yet excited smile on his face as he watched the tall man approach through the dancing crowd.
Quick enough, Anon was standing just a few feet away from Javelin, his hands hovering awkwardly at his sides as he looked at the mares surrounding Javelin as he danced.
"Alright dude! Let's see whatcha got!" Javelin called, grinning broadly at Anon.
"Uh... to be honest, I didn't think I'd even make it this far! I'm amazed I haven't thrown up yet. I'm kinda blanking out on what to do now." Anon admitted, shrugging.
Javelin rolled his eyes, "Oh come on! You know how to dance! You just put one ho-er, foot, in front of the other and then step back! There isn't a science to it!" He exclaimed.
Anon looked down to his shoes for a moment before shrugging and taking a step forward, followed by a step back.
"There you go! Now add some lateral movement in there! Like this!" Javelin called out as he demonstrated.
Anon watched Javelin's legs closely for a moment before nodding, "Moveset downloaded." He muttered before matching the movements.
"Yeah! There it is! Look at you, big guy! Already dancing like a pony and all it took was two tips from yours truly." Javelin cheered, a cheeky grin on his face.
Anon continued to step back and forth, side to side with his legs, while his arms hung limp at his sides. He pursed his lips in thought as the music continued to boom and pulse through him, spurring his body to action. He brought his arms into the mix, adding a little flair to his movements and drawing some attention from the mares and stallions alike nearby.
"Ooh! I've never seen this kind of dancing before!" One mare called out.
"How's he doing that with his legs!?
"I've never seen anything like it!"
There we go, now it's all coming back to me. Hmmm... I wonder what would happen if I hit these ponies with the floss? Anon thought to himself, before shrugging and going for it.
Javelin immediately stopped dancing and stared at Anon in awe, "What the... dude! How are you even doing that!?" He exclaimed.
"Just kinda learned a few moves from watching other people... and apparently video games." Anon replied with a dismissive shrug.
Anon continued to floss, attracting more and more attention from the other patrons of the nightclub. He kept the dance up until the dj changed the music to an electronic beat that pulsed with synths and digital mastery. Without missing a beat, Anon switched from the floss to the robot, wowing the ponies once more as his stiff movements synced up perfectly with the beat of the music.
"Holy Celestia... It's like he just turned into a machine!" A minotaur exclaimed.
"I don't even know how to react to this! By all accounts his dancing is terrible, but I can't help but be impressed!" Another mare shouted out.
"Hold on, the music is changing again! Let's see what he does next!" The olive drab unicorn from before announced.
Right on cue, the music shifted tones once more, this time to an energetic pop beat that had everypony in the club bobbing their heads to the beat. Anon paused his movements for a moment to ponder his next actions, before a thought appeared in his head and he quickly prepared. He clapped his hands once, twice, then three times, encouraging the ponies around him to stomp their hooves in excitement for his next move.
Anon quickly spun on his feet before stopping and moonwalking backwards toward the DJ booth. All jaws dropped around him, prompting him to smirk as he reached his mark and perfectly executed an about face, before resuming his moonwalk in the opposite direction. Cheers and praise rained down around him as he moonwalked all the way to the edge of the dance floor where Nightshade stared in abject shock over Anon's moves.
Anon smirked before extending his hand to her while Nightshade immediately blushed.
"Come on! You look like you need to have some fun tonight!" Anon warmly called to her over the music.
Nightshade stared at his open hand in disbelief while the ponies behind Anon continued to cheer and call for her to join him. She sheepishly glanced back and forth between Anon and his hand before sighing heavily and placing her hoof in his hand.
"Oh why the hay not? At this point it might be just what I need." Nightshade said, before stepping onto the dancefloor, much to the delight of the crowd.
"There we go. I knew you had it in ya!" Anon happily exclaimed before leading her to the center of the dance floor.
The energetic pop beats of the previous song quickly faded and disappeared, only for another fast paced, intense beat to take their place. The ponies around them on the dance floor quickly broke into a stupor of movement and energy, their bodies buzzing around each other in a blur as the music intensified further and further. Anon and Nightshade danced right along with them; side stepping, swinging, laughing, and jumping with every other creature while the beats carried them forward.
Anon repeatedly found himself grabbing Nightshade and pulling her up to her hindlegs and hugging her close to his chest and he spun with her in his arms, much to the little unicorn's delight. She giggled and laughed as she felt the centrifugal force of being spun so quickly, before Anon put her back down on the floor, only to dance circles around her as she struggled to right her spinning vision.
They shared a laugh while the music sped up yet again, reaching its fever pitch. They danced back and forth, parting ways only for a few moments before being reunited and dancing together once again. Eventually, Javelin danced his way over to Anon and Nightshade, a friendly grin on his face.
"So I see you two are having fun!" He shouted.
"Best time I've had in a long time!" Anon grinned.
"I'll have to agree with you there!" Nightshade chimed in, a wide smile on her muzzle.
"Well that's good! Told you all you needed was to come out and try! You know what, I'm stallion enough to admit when I was wrong! Human's can definitely dance!" Javelin responded, holding up his hoof to Anon.
Anon happily bumped Javelin's hoof with his fist before returning his arms to his dance moves, "Thanks man! To be honest, I only know like, three dance moves, so I'm glad the crowd kinda went back to focusing on their own things, 'cause if they wanted to see any more, they'd be pretty damn disappointed!" Anon chuckled.
"Well I'm glad to know you at least have one weakness, haha!" Javelin laughed.
"You bet! Don't worry, I've got more! Just chalked full of 'em!" Anon replied, with a hearty chuckle.
Javelin snickered before looking over to Nightshade, then back to Anon, "Alright dude! Ima go dance over there! Don't wanna get in your way!" He yelled, before winking and trotting off.
Anon shook his head in amusement before Nightshade danced over to his side once more. The music finally shifted to the closing song for the night, and the beat came slowly, like a drink of water after a week in the desert. The ponies, griffons, and minotaurs of the club quickly found partners to dance with as the gentle melodic beat calmed them after a long night of dancing and drinking.
The ponies around him all dancing with their partners, Anon found himself looking for a partner for the last song of the night. His search ended almost immediately as he felt two hooves press against his chest as Nightshade stood on just her hindlegs, her head just coming up to his neck. Anon looked down at the azure unicorn as she stared up at him with those beautiful teal eyes that seemed to radiate calmness and comfort. For just a moment, he swore he saw the stars in her eyes, before it was gone, and she smiled up at him.
"Could I have this dance, Anon?" Nightshade impishly inquired, batting her eyelashes at him.
Anon felt his heart beat faster, "Of course, Nightshade."
Anon held her head against his chest as they swayed back and forth.
Nightshade eventually looked up to Anon, her gaze pulling his eyes down to meet hers as she spoke in a soft voice, "I think I like you, Anon. A lot."
Anon blushed as a large smile formed on his face, "I think... I think I really I like you too, Nightshade." He replied, brushing his fingers through her silken mane as she softly sighed from the gentle treatment.
They danced together through the rest of the night.
Author's Note
Before any of you ask, no I will not apologize for the dances Anon does in this story.
Having said that, I really, REALLY hope that this chapter made it clear that this story is just supposed to be fun and silly, with the occasional drama/lovey dovey romantic moment here and there. There's still over half the story to go, but I hope you guys at least got a laugh out of this chapter. I think it's one of my funniest, but hell, what do I know? Let me know what you think in the comments. I'll probably start reading them again.
All's Fair in Love and War
Nightshade teleported back into the castle just as the sun was due to crest the horizon. She wavered on her hooves, stumbling from side to side as her inebriated state played with her sense of balance. Eventually she managed to get one hoof in front of the other and slowly make her way toward her bedroom. As she trudged along, she came upon a pair of night guards waiting for her in front of her bedroom doors.
"Princess." Dusk greeted with a salute.
"Mhhguards... How... how'd you know it was me?" Nightshade drunkenly inquired.
"You informed us of your intentions before transforming earlier this evening, your highness." Echo spoke up.
Nightshade squinted for a few moments before shaking her head and casting a spell. Her entire body was quickly surrounded in a bright white light, before she returned to her original form.
"I sheem to recall that... vaguely." Luna slurred.
"Here, let us get you to bed, Princess." Dusk offered, pushing her bedroom door open.
"N-no, no... Need to talk with Tia, first." Luna managed, turning toward Celestia's bedroom.
"Princess, it's five in the morning. Perhaps it'd be better to just wait until after you've slept off the alcohol." Echo suggested.
Luna shook her head, "No... Must inform her that I failed... Damned human and his charms." She sighed, before trudging off toward Celestia's door, her guards falling in line behind her.
Luna quickly arrived at Celestia's door, nearly shoving the pair of guards in front of it to the side, and pounded on it's wooden frame several times before losing her balance and almost falling over. Dusk quickly swooped in and caught her before she could completely fall over, earning a nod of thanks from the lunar alicorn before the sounds of hooves on the stone floor on the other side of the door caught both of their ears. Celestia pushed her door open, yawning tiredly in the process before she noticed Luna and her guards outside her door.
"Lulu? What is it? Is everything alright?" Celestia asked, rubbing the sleepiness from her eyes.
"Verily. Well, perhaps not quite sho." Luna slurred slightly.
Celestia cocked her brow in confusion before she sniffed at the air, her muzzle wrinkling at the scent she picked up.
"Lulu, are you... drunk?" Celestia asked, a dumbfounded look on her face.
Luna giggled, "Perhaps..."
Celestia looked to Dusk and Echo, "Guards, please do excuse us. I need to speak with my sister in private."
"Of course, Princess." Dusk replied.
"We'll be outside if you need anything." Echo added.
Celestia nodded in thanks before guiding Luna into her chambers and closing the door behind her. She quickly brought the intoxicated alicorn to her bed and sat her down before fixing her with a disapproving look.
"Luna, I haven't seen you drunk in over a thousand years. What in Equestria made you decide to go and do this tonight? I thought you were going to tell Anon that we couldn't keep seeing him anymore." Celestia admonished.
Luna rolled her eyes, "S'not like I get to have fun these days anyways... Besides, everypony else was doing it." She pouted, like a child.
Celestia huffed, "What do you mean 'everypony else was doing it'? Where were you? The way you yelled my ear off after my date with Anon, I assumed you were going to go tell him that we couldn't keep this act up and then come right back here to keep yelling at me." She sat on her haunches on the floor in front of Luna.
"I did! At least... I tried." Luna sighed as she rubbed her temples.
"What happened?" Celestia asked, softly.
"Wouldn't you like to know. Little miss 'too good for everypony except Anon'." Luna resumed her pouting.
Celestia sighed, "You're drunk, Luna, so I'll try not to take that seriously. Why are you even so drunk in the first place? I can't even remember the last time I saw you this intoxicated." She pressed.
"I've had plenty of long nights to drink, alone , thank you." Luna muttered, her eyes falling to the floor.
Celestia's eyes widened slightly, before she sighed heavily and hung her head as well, "I... I know, Lulu. I am sorry. Things have just been so busy lately and I haven't known what to do with Anon... I just haven't had the time or the energy as of late. I'm sorry. I promise that we will spend more time together soon, I just... I don't know when, exactly." She admitted, her gaze never leaving the floor.
Luna scoffed quietly, "Figures." She whispered.
"Luna, please. I'm trying to do everything I can to give us as much time together as possible. It's just... difficult given the circumstances we find ourselves in these days. Not to mention the situation with Anon complicating things even further... you didn't answer my question, by the way." Celestia replied, looking up to Luna with a defensive frown.
Luna hesitated for a moment, but that was all it took for Celestia to put the pieces together.
"You didn't tell him, did you?" Celestia asked, her brow furrowing in confusion.
Luna shook her head, "No... I did not."
"Why not?" Celestia pressed.
"I tried. Tried my absolute hardest to look him straight in his eye and tell him that it was over, that it had to be over... but something about the look in his eyes... the excited smile he wore as he looked at me... he just kept buying me drinks... kept talking with me, listening to what I had to say... told me I was beautiful..." Luna shook her head, blinking back the tears.
"Lulu... You are beautiful." Celestia comforted, cupping her sister's cheek with her hoof.
Luna sniffled, "Thank you, Tia, but... it just felt different, coming from an outsider like Anon... He listened to me... shared his own fears with me... danced with me until we were too dizzy to see straight, " She chuckled before sniffling once more and wiping her muzzle with her hoof, "Tia, I... I don't understand this feeling in my chest." She explained, looking up to the older alicorn.
Celestia tilted her head to the side, "What feeling, Luna?"
"It's... I don't know how to describe it. At first I thought it was because of the mare that went into estrus at the establishment, but long after she left and her scent was gone, I could still feel the tingly, nervous feeling in my chest when I was around Anon... I haven't felt that way about a stallion in... I don't think I ever have." Luna admitted, looking up to her sister for guidance.
Celestia sagely nodded, "Lulu, I think we need to have a serious talk about Anon's place in our lives." She replied.
"I... I think I'm inclined to agree, Tia... when you spent the morning with him... did you feel the same feeling?" Luna asked.
Celestia pursed her lips for a moment before slowly nodding, "I... was worried about how you would react if I told you how Anon made me feel when I was pretending to be Sunshine... I don't understand how or why, but... my heart beat so fast in my chest... and when he wrapped his arm around me, I felt... safe. As if the whole world could be burning down around me, and I wouldn't be any the wiser under him." She admitted, a blush forming on her cheeks.
Luna chuckled, "When he pulled me out to the dance floor, I felt desired... attractive... longed for. My heart was thundering in my chest the whole time, but him? He was so happy," Luna smiled, fondly, "I think I wish to see more of that smile of his, sister."
Celestia nodded before placing a hoof on Luna's wither, "I think we have to accept the very real possibility that we're both falling for Anon, Lulu."
Luna hesitated for a few seconds, before nodding, "Verily, I believe we do, sister.
.
.
.
.
.
Two Days Later
Anon pulled himself up until his chin crested above the pull-up bar before relaxing his muscles and sinking back down until he was hanging at full extension. He breathed in before repeating the motions and finally releasing his grip on the bar, dropping to the ground with a *thud*.
Javelin trotted up to his side, wiping the sweat from his brow with one hoof, "Nice job, dude. How many was that? Twelve?" He asked.
"Twenty. I'm trying to get back into the shape I used to be before I ended up getting sent here. Amazing how much muscle you can lose after just a year." Anon replied, looking down to his bicep and flexing.
"Well shit, I can't even do fifteen of those so you're already off to a great start." Javelin offered.
Anon cocked an eyebrow, "Wait, did you just say 'shit'?" He asked.
"Uh, yeah. You say it all the time. Why?" Javelin responded.
Anon sniffled, "Oh my god I am rubbing off on you! I'm so proud!" He said, wiping non-existent tears from his eyes.
Javelin rolled his eyes, "Yeah, yeah. Whatever." He smirked.
Anon chuckled, "Well thanks, anyway. I'll definitely get my six pack back. Slimmed out just fine since all the food here is healthy, but now I don't know where I'm gonna get my protein powder from." He placed his hands on his hips.
"Six pack? Like a minotaur?" Javelin inquired, looking to Anon's stomach curiously.
Anon looked down and shrugged before lifting and removing his shirt, exposing his abs and chest to the unicorn pony, "Yeah, pretty much. Although, I don't think I'll ever be as big as them. I've still got a teeny tiny layer of fat over the abs but you can still see the muscle underneath when I've got a good pump." He explained.
Javelin squinted his eyes in disbelief as his gaze rose up to Anon's chest. He took a hesitant step forward to more closely inspect the object of his confusion before leaning back with confusion written all over his face.
"What?" Anon asked.
"Dude... not to be a jerk or anything since I'm like, ninety nine percent sure of the answer, but are... are you male or female?" Javelin cautiously asked.
Anon recoiled slightly in confusion, "What? What are you talking about?" He pressed.
Javelin averted his eyes and awkwardly scratched the back of his neck, "W-well, it's just that you've got... teats. I thought only mares have those... unless you're a hermaphrodite, which is fine by the way-" He began, until Anon interrupted him.
"Teats? Hermaphrodite? What the hell are you..." Anon's eyes trailed down to his chest, "Oh. You mean my nipples?"
Javelin nodded, "Yeah, whatever you call them."
Anon chuckled, "Oh, yeah, all people have nipples. I'm one hundred percent a guy, but everyone in my species starts out in the womb as female until the Y chromosome kicks in. Trust me, I've got the male parts where it matters." He explained.
Javelin nodded in understanding, "Ooooooh. Okay. So it's just a human thing then. Right, got it. Sorry about that, I've just now realized that this is the first time I've seen you without all your clothes on so it was kinda weird to see that for the first time. Is that why you wear clothes around us ponies all the time? Don't want to have to explain that to every pony you see?" He asked, curiously.
Anon shook his head before putting his shirt back on, "Nah, people have been wearing clothes for thousands of years. Mostly started to keep us warm in cold environments but then it just became more and more practical. Pockets and such. After a long time, it just kinda became a part of our society. Nowadays it's completely unacceptable to be outside in public naked. That shit's illegal most places." He responded before heading to the exit, with Javelin in tow.
"Huh, that's pretty interesting. Canterlot and Manehattan are really the only two cities that have a culture similar to that with the clothes. Everywhere else in Equestria is almost always naked." Javelin added, walking alongside Anon.
They exited the gym and swiftly made their way over to the dining room just as Celestia finished raising the sun. As Anon took his seat, Javelin gave a crisp salute to the princess before heading to the exit.
"I'll see you in a couple hours, Anon." Javelin called back as he left.
"Alright, later dude. Thanks for showing me the gym!" Anon replied before turning around to Celestia.
"I was about to say, I'm surprised to see you up so early, Anon. Did you and Sergeant Javelin plan some kind of morning training?" She inquired, genuinely curious.
Anon shook his head, "Not really. I just mentioned that I wanted to go to the gym again and he said that he could show me the gym in the castle, but we'd have to go before morning PT started for the guards. Didn't want to get in their way." He explained.
Celestia nodded, "I see. Well you're more than welcome to use the gym as much as you see fit, Anon. By all means, as long as you inform the garrison commander that you'll be using it, they'll be more than happy to accommodate you."
"I appreciate that, but like I said, I didn't want to get in anyone's way. I'm still figuring out my place with all this, so it feels like I shouldn't piss off any of the guys that are supposed to be protecting me." Anon replied with a chuckle that had a nervous edge to it as he looked over to the guards stationed at the door.
Celestia laughed, "Anon, I promise that you won't offend anypony if you ask politely to use the gym. Besides, I'm sure many of the guards would like to see you down there. It might give them some sense of who you are as a pony... er, person." She suggested.
Anon playfully held his hands up in surrender, "Alright, alright. You win. I'll just ask the guards next time. You win." He grinned.
Celestia beamed, before looking down to her food just in time for the door to open on Luna's side of the castle. The exhausted lunar alicorn trudged into the room as Anon and Celestia looked her way, her hooves dragging with each step. Anon and Celestia shared a look of concern as Luna found and took her seat at the far side of the table and plopped her head down on her plate. Her magical aura quickly enveloped a banana from the bowl of fruit on the center of the table and she peeled the banana before throwing the fruit away and eating the peel.
Anon raised an eyebrow before leaning over toward Celestia slightly, even though she was still sitting over a dozen feet away.
"Does she know that she's not supposed to eat the peel?" Anon inquired, his voice just barely restrained to a whisper so Celestia could hear.
Celestia leaned toward Anon in return, "I do believe she does... although it must have been a long night." She replied.
"I can hear you both, you know." Luna called from her side of the table.
Anon and Celestia turned to see the dark alicorn staring at the both of them with bags under her eyes.
"What happened that has you so exhausted, sister? I haven't seen you this weary in months." Celestia asked, tilting her head to the side in concern.
Luna brought a spark to her horn once more, and teleported a newspaper into the room before throwing it onto the table within Anon's grasp.
"This... paper was published yesterday morning... to be honest, I'm surprised you didn't see it, sister." Luna explained, before plopping her head back down on her plate.
Celestia frowned at Luna's words as Anon grabbed the paper and read the headline.
"Questions arise about the true nature of the Princesses and their consort's relationship." Anon read aloud.
"That can't be good." Celestia frowned just a tad harder.
Anon nodded before reading the first paragraph.
"Despite the ceremony just a few short weeks ago... the Princesses of Equestria have yet to even be seen in public with their new consort... Anonymous," Anon frowned, before continuing, "In fact... the royal consort has been seen multiple times with other mares and stallions out in Canterlot, leading many to question whether he's even committed to the two rulers of Equestria at all."
"That's not the worst part. Read the next chapter." Luna instructed, her posture unchanged.
Anon looked down to the second paragraph, "Several sources witnessed Anonymous along with a member of his royal guard detachment, drinking and mingling with mares in the well known nightclub 'The Riviera' a couple of days ago. As of the date of this paper's publishing, not a single pony has seen the princesses and Anonymous out in public together. This has led to serious speculation as to the integrity of the bond between the Princesses and their consort."
Celestia's horn lit, and her golden aura quickly enveloped the newspaper in Anon's hands, "Might I see that?" She inquired.
"Sure." Anon replied, letting go of the paper.
Celestia brought the newspaper over and scanned through it quickly before closing the paper and placing it down on the table in front of her.
"Well, that could prove to be something of an issue." Celestia admitted, her lips pursed in thought.
"What do you mean? I thought you guys said that this wouldn't be an issue? Like... you just tell them that I'm scouting for a mare to add to our herd and that's that." Anon responded, looking back and forth between Luna and Celestia.
"That is not the issue, Anon... the issue is the last two sentences of that second paragraph." Luna spoke up.
"Indeed." Celestia concurred.
"What was so bad about those last two sentences?" Anon questioned.
"The fact that we've not been seen with you in public lends great credibility to those that would seek to claim our marriage is illegitimate due to adultery. It could be easily construed as you going off to do whatever you want with your power as our consort while we show no interest in you, once again lending credibility to the claims that I hastily picked you to avoid any other ponies in the room, not because I actually loved you." Celestia explained, resting her elbows on the table and her chin on her hooves.
"Regardless of how true that might be, there's no way they can prove that. I mean, can't we just say that we want to keep our love-life private?" Anon interjected, a slightly worried tone in his voice.
"Unfortunately, it's not quite that simple." Celestia responded, her brow furrowing as she quickly glanced at her sister.
"What do you mean? Why not?" Anon pressed.
Celestia sighed, "Unfortunately, the noble class has a long history of prying into the private lives of Equestria's princesses. Telling them that will only embolden them to push harder to find the truth. There would be paparazzi everywhere, day court would be swamped with ponies demanding proof of our relationship being legitimate, and an entire mess of other issues that would make our lives a living Tartaraus. In short, we've found ourselves in quite the predicament." Celestia explained, an apologetic tone in her voice.
Anon shook his head, "I don't get it. Why can't you just tell them to fuck off and mind their business? It's not like they rule over you guys." He rebutted, looking to both alicorns with concern.
"Unfortunately, to an extent... they do." Luna admitted, from her side of the table.
"What? How?" Anon asked, flabbergasted.
"Due to current social trends and political issues, we cannot simply imprison or excommunicate ponies that disagree with us, however much easier that would make the situation." Luna shrugged, her face still glued to her plate.
Celestia shook her head, "What Luna is trying to say, is that ponies these days have a lot more pull in our government than they used to. In fact, these days our responsibilities are limited to raising our respective celestial bodies, day court and night court, the dream realm, in my sisters case, and overseeing basic legislation. There are several checks and balances in place to ensure that neither my sister or I abuse our power." She explained.
"I still say that passing those laws was a mistake." Luna called from her side of the table.
"And I retain that they were necessary," Celestia shot back, "After... our last fight, the ponies of Equestria were terrified of us. At the time, we were the rulers of the land, with no equal. Our word was law. Giving the average, everyday ponies a voice in their government helped sew unity and peace." She elaborated.
Anon pinched the bridge of his nose, "I still don't see how this makes your private lives and relationships anyone else's business."
A few moments of silence reigned over the table as Anon awaited an answer. He looked over to Celestia, finding her avoiding his gaze and looking down to the table, as if she was deep in thought. He turned his gaze over to Luna, finding her looking at him with a small frown on her brow. Eventually, the lunar alicorn spoke.
"It's their business because they want it to be their business. Because they have enough power in our government now that they can write laws essentially forcing us to choose a pony stallion to be our betrothed, rather than you. Assuming they can prove our marriage illegitimate." Luna clarified.
"What!? How? They can't force you to pick who you marry!" Anon exclaimed, an almost angry frown appearing on his face.
"Unfortunately, they can. If they can prove that we don't actually love you, which is easy enough for them to do already, but will be even easier to prove if you find another mare to be with beside us, then they can easily have our marriage nullified by adultery. If that happens, they will quickly propose laws and amendments to the Paired Sisters Act that started this whole mess, forcing us to choose a noble-born stallion of Equine descent." Celestia disclosed.
Anon's eyes went wide, and he slowly looked over to Luna to find her sadly staring at her plate. He sat there for a few moments in shock, "Just like that..." He whispered.
Celestia got out of her chair and walked over to Anon's side. she unfurled a wing and comfortingly draped it over his shoulders. Anon flinched slightly at the contact, but slowly looked up until he was gazing into Celestia's eyes as she held him close.
"Anon, we promised that we would ensure that you were happy. Nothing about that promise has changed." Celestia spoke gently, her voice caressing his ear like water running down marble.
"But... what are we gonna do? I-I mean, we're screwed unless we can make the nobles leave us alone, and it looks like that's never gonna happen." Anon replied, dejectedly.
"Well, not necessarily. There is a way that we can make this work to where the noble class will have to back off." Luna chimed in, sitting upright.
Anon's eyes lit up, "Really!? What is it?" He asked, relief already bleeding into his voice.
"Well... we would just need to show them that they're wrong. That we do love each other. Regardless of whether or not we really do yet... all we would need to do is go out in public and... perform some displays of affection every now and again." Luna suggested, a tiny trace of a blush forming on her cheeks.
Anon's excitement died immediately, "W-wait... you mean we'd all have to go out in public and just... kiss or something?" He questioned.
"Well it would have to be a little more than just a kiss, but essentially, yes. At the end of the day, it is the most sound choice of action. The nobles get to see first-hoof that we 'do ' love you, and we get them out of our manes by extension." Luna elaborated.
Anon paused for a moment. He raised a finger to dispute, but quickly put it back down and sighed.
"Alright, you make a good point. So when do you want to go out on a date?"
Author's Note
Before anyone goes and tries to say it, I looked up Iron Will and found no nipples to speak of on his pecs. So as far as I'm concerned, male minotaurs do not have nipples, hence why the exchange happens between Anon and Javelin. I figured it was a cool species difference that would be worth having them talk about. As far as I'm aware, we're one of the only species that has nipples on both males and females. Very interesting stuff.
All's Fair in Love and War
Chapter 16: Public Appearances
Later that Evening
Anon nervously adjusted his suit as he stared in the mirror. He was wearing his usual dress suit, minus the tie and with the collar unbuttoned. Javelin stood behind him, eyeing the ensemble with a raised eyebrow.
"So... you took the tie off?" Javelin surmised, looking Anon up and down in the mirror.
Anon nodded, "Well, yeah. Celestia said that dinner tonight with her would be a good way to start since Luna was so tired, so we're going out to eat in Canterlot. I wanna look well dressed... especially since I'm having dinner with Celestia in public, but not overdressed , you know?" He explained, looking back to his guard.
Javelin nodded, "Well that makes sense, but for the place you guys are going to, I don't know if a suit is really considered 'proper etiquette at all. It might be a bit overkill." He suggested.
"What do you mean? We're going to 'The Maretta'. It's like, one of the fanciest restaurants in the city. Celestia said that it'd be a good idea to draw as much attention to us as possible." Anon crossed his arms.
"True, but you have to remember that ponies have fur. It's summer. Wearing coats and pants and such is only really for huge parties like the Gala or for... well, for a royal wedding." Javelin chuckled.
Anon sighed, "Well... you've got a point. If it's too hot for this outside, then I'm gonna be the only one wearing it, and I'm gonna start sweating up a storm. Either way, it's not a good look. What should I do then?" He inquired, raising an eyebrow at the shorter stallion.
"Well, I'm not exactly an expert, but I would say..." Javelin trailed off, eyeing anon critically for a moment before nodding once, "Lose the coat. It's way too hot for that. Put the tie back on, and roll up your sleeves to your elbows. I think that will give you the best look." He explained.
Anon looked into the mirror to see himself once more before frowning, "But that's just business casual attire. You dress like that for working in an office or something." He replied.
"Well, maybe where you're from they do, but here, nopony wears ties for business casual. A button-up shirt is all you need for business casual. The way you're dressed now, you look like you're going for a complete ensemble for your wedding. All you're missing is the tie and top-hat." Javelin responded, shrugging unapologetically.
Anon frowned before looking back into the mirror, then back to Javelin, and then finally back to the mirror one last time. He pursed his lips as he contemplated Javelin's suggestion but eventually sighed loudly.
"Alright, alright. I'll take your advice. You'd just better not be setting me up for failure here." Anon shook his head as he doffed his coat and put it on the hanger.
"What? Me? Never." Javelin replied, innocently holding a hoof to his chest.
Anon simply raised an eyebrow.
"Oh come on! I have never led you astray before! And I'm especially not going to now when you're going to be in public with Princess Celestia." Javelin exasperatedly replied.
Anon chuckled, "Yeah, yeah. Fair enough. I trust you." He said as he redid his tie.
Javelin rolled his eyes before trotting up next to Anon and sitting down on his haunches while the tall man finished his tie and started rolling his sleeves.
"Why do you only wear suits anyways? I've only ever seen you in casual clothes for the gym." Javelin inquired, tilting his head to the side.
Anon rolled his right sleeve, "They're the only clothes I have besides a pair of shorts and t-shirt. I was on my way to a costume party when I got beamed over here and I've barely had any time to meet with a tailor or the royal seamstress since then. Any clothes I did end up getting since then always fit wrong. It's like they don't know how to make my clothes proportioned right. Even the royal seamstress said it would take months to make me anything. Something about my 'strange physique and muscular structure', not to mention the dresses they have to make for Celestia and Luna and all of their bridesmaids and stuff." He explained, before starting on the left sleeve.
Javelin raised an eyebrow.
"What?" Anon asked.
"A costume party?" Javelin questioned.
Anon rolled his eyes, "Is that all you got from that?" He asked, getting a shrug in response, "Yeah, I was going as a character from a spy movie. Anyway, point is, I haven't had time to find, or get fitted for, new clothes."
"Really? They can't be that busy, can they? I mean, aren't there like, a thousand other seamstresses that can make clothes for you? I can see the royal seamstress being too busy, but not anypony else." Javelin questioned.
Anon finished rolling his sleeves and shrugged, "I don't know, man. That's just what they all told me. It was always either 'we're too busy' or 'your body is shaped too weird'. Maybe they just wanted me to get out of their hair. I dunno." He replied.
Javelin shook his head, "I mean... I guess so. Eh, whatever. I'm sure we can get you some new clothes sooner or later. Must get hot in all that." He said, pointing at Anon as he stepped back from the mirror a few feet.
"I appreciate it, Jav, but anyway, what do you think?" Anon asked, giving a slow spin in the mirror.
Javelin nodded, "Looks a lot better. Like you're trying, but not too hard. Wouldn't want those mares to get any ideas that you're easy or anything, especially with estrus season coming right up." He replied.
Anon furrowed his brow, "Estrus... I remember you saying something about that before at the nightclub. What exactly does that mean? I drank a lot that night so I don't have the best memory of what exactly happened before I started dancing with Nightshade."
"Estrus is the time of year when just about all mares go into season. Some are a bit early, like that mare that was hunting me down the whole night," Javelin shivered, "But for the most part, all mares go into estrus in about a week. It's gonna be a bloodbath, but instead of blood..." He trailed off.
Anon cocked an eyebrow back, "Instead of blood... what?" He pressed, motioning for Javelin to continue.
"N-nevermind. Point is, if you don't want to get jumped by every mare that you see, you either have to find a mare to claim you for the two weeks it lasts, or hide." Javelin explained.
Anon chuckled, "I still don't get it. So the mares get horny, big deal. If anything, that sounds like a great time. If I was you, I'd probably just enjoy it."
Javelin shook his head, "You don't understand. Estrus is when the mares all go into season. Into heat. They're extremely easy to impregnate, and most of them want nothing more than for you to put a foal in them to end the heat. Hay, even then they'll still ride you into the ground if you let them." He elaborated.
Anon's eyes widened, "Ooooooooooooh... Yeah, now I can kinda see how this could be an issue. Before you know it, you've got twelve baby momma's to deal with." He nodded.
"And they can't spend all their time taking care of the foal. They have to work. So guess what happens? You, my friend, get to stay home with all the little foals and raise them. All twelve," Javelin gave a wide, extremely fake smile, before dropping it and sighing, "Happened to my buddy, Pix. Poor colt never stood a chance against the seven mares that caught him one night. He has nine foals now."
Anon shuddered, "Jesus. Nine kids? I thought you ponies only had like, one or two, max."
"We do. He got every single mare pregnant. 'Course, he had to take responsibility for the foals, so he had to marry each of them and form a herd. The other two foals came the next estrus season. Luckily five of the mares managed to remember to take some anti-pregnancy potions, but the other two wanted another foal more than they wanted their heat sated." Javelin explained.
Anon cocked an eyebrow, "Wait, if you have anti-pregnancy potions, then why is heat such an issue? Don't the mares all just buy that stuff and not worry about it? I'd think most mares wouldn't want a pregnancy out of the blue." He reasoned.
"You'd think that, and for most mares, you'd be right. However, there's always the minority that just don't care, or are so damn horny that they forget. Worst part of it is, the pheromones' just radiating off of them makes it really hard for you to think straight too. A lot of stallions get swarmed, and the combined exposure to so many mares in heat gets them so turned on that they don't care anymore either." Javelin replied, shaking his head.
Anon rolled his tongue in his mouth, "Well shit. When you say things like that, it makes heat season sound horrible. Still though, I didn't feel any different when that mare was all over you at the nightclub, and I was sitting right beside you."
Javelin nodded, "That you were. To be honest, heat season might be a lot easier for you if your biology doesn't register the pheromones like mine does. I was about five more minutes away from taking that mare into the bathroom and rutting a foal into her right there." He shivered.
Anon chuckled before patting Javelin's wither, "Well that's what you've got me for. Someone needs to watch your back and make sure you don't go impregnating every mare this side of Equestria."
Javelin grinned, "Well, for that you have my thanks. Although, with your position, you might have to worry about it more than I do. Mares in heat are horny as all Tartarus, but they're usually still there enough to understand that getting pregnant by you basically sets them up for life."
Anon pursed his lips, "I'm pretty certain that I can't get ponies pregnant. You know, different biology and all that." He shrugged.
Javelin shook his head, "You don't know that fore sure. We ponies can breed with a surprising number of other species. I mean, hippogriffs came from ponies breeding with an ancient race of eagles." He explained.
Anon raised an eyebrow, "Eagles?"
Javelin nodded, "Pretty much anything was fair game back then, and I guess a mare in heat met an eagle who happened to be a bit curious."
Anon rolled his tongue around in his mouth as he thought over the implications.
"Huh? Well that's a thought. Still though, pretty sure my biology is incompatible with yours. I'm sure I'm more liable to get one trying to claim they're pregnant for child support." Anon replied.
"Well I think you should still take precautions. You don't want to run the risk, only to find out that you do indeed have a compatible biology." Javelin responded.
Anon stepped toward the doorway with a smile, "Well that's what I've got you for, isn't it?" He asked, looking back over his shoulder.
Javelin laughed, "Now you're getting it. Come on, let's get you to that date." He said as he trotted up to Anon's side.
Just as they stepped out of Anon's bedroom and into the hallway, Anon suddenly froze. Javelin looked up to him curiously as Anon's brow quickly furrowed.
"Javelin?" Anon asked.
"Yeah?"
"Do Celestia and Luna go into heat too?"
Celestia looked herself over in the mirror. Her regalia was forgone, opting instead to wear a simple golden necklace with a sun shaped like her cutiemark as the centerpiece. Her crown was replaced with a simple tiara of gold that barely stuck out past her mane as is billowed in the nonexistent wind. Her hooves were devoid of their usual golden horseshoes, and lastly, her chest tuft was freshly brushed, appearing slightly fluffier than usual.
Celestia squinted at her reflection as her magic levitated the mascara brush over to her unfinished eye. She gingerly applied a soft coat of goldish-white to her eyelid, giving her eyes a more regal and exquisite appearance. With that finished, she looked over to her dresser and put the mascara away before levitating the final touch of lipstick.
Celestia's ear flicked back at the sound of a knock at her door. She glanced over to the doorway before replying, "It's open. Please come in."
Celestia resumed her task of applying her lipstick while Raven entered her room behind her. The secretary quietly closed the door so as not to disturb the solar princess before she finished her preparations. Quickly enough, Celestia returned the lipstick to the dresser and pursed her lips a few times to complete the application. Seeing this as her queue, Raven affirmatively cleared her throat, earning a look from the white alicorn through the mirror.
"Yes, Raven?" Celestia inquired.
"I'm sorry for disturbing you, Princess, but... are you certain about this? There's a lot of work that you'll have to catch up on tomorrow if you take the rest of the night off. Not that you don't deserve some down time or anything, but it seems... I don't know, unnecessary? The nobles would be perfectly content with a solid affirmation from you or Luna about your relationship with Anon. Even if they weren't, you're the one who would have to give them a solid yes to see proof. At the end of the day, unless they witness Anon doing something illegal, or cheating on you with some random mare, they don't have much legal ground to stand on." Raven questioned, a confused expression on her face.
Celestia chuckled, "Oh Raven, I'm sure the workload will be fine. I have no appointments tomorrow, so I intend to catch up then. As for your concerns as to the necessity of this whole charade, I think it's time that I be completely candid with you. Please, come over here." She asked, turning around to look at Raven face to face.
"Of course, Princess." Raven replied, stepping over to Celestia's side.
"Now, if I'm being completely honest here-" Celestia began, before a harsh pounding on the door made her pause.
"Princess! It's time to leave. You'll be late if we delay any longer." Lieutenant Valorant's voice boomed through the door.
Celestia looked over to the clock sitting on the wall across from her, "Oh my. I suppose it is just about that time. My apologies, Raven, but I really must be going. I promise that I will speak with you once I return. Until then, please do take the rest of the evening off. I think you've more than earned some extra time off as of late." She said as she rose from her chair.
"I-um..." Raven quietly sighed, "If you're sure, Princess. I will see you tomorrow morning for day court then."
Celestia eyed Raven curiously as the unicorn secretary turned tail and sadly headed for the door. It only took a moment for the solar alicorn to furrow her brow in concern, before speaking out.
"Raven?" She asked.
Raven immediately turned around, "Yes, Princess?"
"Why don't you accompany us for dinner?" She asked, a genuine smile on her face.
Raven recoiled in surprise, "Accompany you? I... Princess, I-I wouldn't want to intrude." She hastily responded.
"Nonsense, you won't be intruding on anything. I believe that Sergeant Javelin will be accompanying us to 'The Maretta', so you can simply sit and eat with him. Besides, you've been working too hard lately. Let me take you out for dinner, as a thank you for putting up with all of my... let's call them shenanigans, as of late." Celestia insisted, taking a step toward the secretary.
"P-princess, I couldn't p-possible..." Raven stammered.
"Please?" Celestia asked, giving her best puppy dog eyes.
Raven stared back at Celestia for nearly three seconds before she broke, "Oh, alright, alright. I'll go... I see now what Anon meant..." She replied.
"Oh wonderful! Come along then, Raven. We really must be going." Celestia clopped her hooves together in excitement.
"Um... can I go get changed at my house and meet you there, Princess?" Raven sheepishly asked.
Celestia smiled, "Of course, Raven. I'll see you there."
"Thank you, Princess. I'll see you over there." Raven gratefully smiled.
With that, Celestia opened her door and stepped outside, finding Lieutenant Valorant standing at attention along with an escort of six more guardsmares. While Raven exited the room behind her, and stepped away from the formation of guards before heading out of the hallway, Celestia looked over her detachment of ponies and smiled.
"Looking sharp as ever, Lieutenant. However, I imagine that we will not be needing too many guards for the occasion. Sergeant Javelin should be sufficient." Celestia suggested, pleasantly.
"Of course, your highness. Although I really must insist you let at least a couple more of my guards accompany you. Your protection is our number one priority, no matter how safe you might seem." Lieutenant Valorant replied, otherwise unmoving.
Celestia chewed her tongue in thought for a moment as she eyed the guards standing before her. A few moments of silence passed between the group before she chuckled lightly.
"I suppose you have a point, Lieutenant. You're only doing your job, after all. Might I ask what you recommend?" Celestia inquired, curiously.
Valorant nodded once, "Yes, Princess. If you'd allow it, I would recommend taking at least three Guards along with you, on top of Sergeant Javelin." She suggested.
Celestia hummed in thought, "I... suppose we could manage to have three guards there with us without causing too much of a scene. If you don't mind, could they be wearing civilian clothing? The restaurant we're going to isn't exactly suited to having armed guards patrolling our table in full armor." She requested.
Valorant nodded, "Of course, Princess. We can have them changed into undercover battle uniforms, just in case." She suggested.
"As long as they blend in well enough, it shouldn't be an issue." Celestia smiled.
"Roger that, your highness," Valorant replied, before looking to the three guards on her right, "Alright, you heard her. Get dressed, you three. I want you outside and presentable asap." She ordered.
The three guards quickly snapped a salute and bolted away or teleported away while the other three were swiftly dismissed back to their posts. Valorant watched them leave with a stern expression of approval, before returning her attention to the solar princess in front of her.
"Alright then, Princess. I'll see you when you get back." She said, offering a salute.
Celestia gave a small nod and smile, "Of course, Lieutenant. I'll see you then."
Their meeting completed, Celestia turned away from the lieutenant and headed down the hallway to the throne room. It took her only a few minutes of walking through the halls before she arrived at her destination, and her favorite location to lower the sun. She approached the stained glass window, depicting her reunion with Luna, and a gentle smile tugged at her lips as her horn illuminated the area with golden light.
The sun swiftly sunk down the horizon until it was just barely above the mountains in the distance. Celestia released her magical hold on the flaming ball of light, and allowed it to hold its position without her aid.
"There we go. Should be just on the precipice now. Just a tiny little push in about an hour and the rest is on you." Celestia smiled at her work, and the solar light hanging just by a thread on the edge of the world.
"Wow ..." Anon spoke from behind her, redirecting Celestia's attention away from her sun and to the man and pony standing behind her.
"Oh, my apologies. I did not hear you enter, Anon. Don't sound so surprised though, it's not like you haven't seen me lower the sun before." Celestia responded, with a teasing flick of her hoof.
Anon shook his head, a mystified expression still on his face, "I wasn't talking about the sunset, Celestia... you just... wow. You look great." He complimented, causing a hint of red to appear on Celestia's cheeks.
"Y-you're too kind, Anon. Thank you," She beamed, before her eyes drank in the sight of Anon properly, "And I must say, you're looking absolutely dapper as well. I love the tie. The color contrasts your eyes remarkably well.
Now it was Anon's turn to blush, "T-thanks. It was Javelin's idea. I was about to go for the full jacket getup and he talked me out of it." He explained.
"I merely suggested what to wear. Anon picked the outfit himself." Javelin corrected, professionally.
"I see. Well I must say that you look remarkable this evening, Anon," Celestia replied, before glancing at the clock, "Shall we get going? I instructed Raven to meet us there, and Lieutenant Valorant has already instructed our guard detachment where to go." She explained.
"We have a guard detachment? So does that mean that Javelin doesn't have to come with us?" Anon asked, looking down at his guard with a frown.
Celestia chuckled at Anon's level of attachment to the stallion before replying, "Sergeant Javelin is more than welcome to join us. Although I do believe he will be on duty for the night."
"Yes, Princess. I'm scheduled until the end of your evening together." Javelin responded.
"Wonderful, although... I would say you're a tad overdressed, wouldn't you?" Celestia cheekily raised an eyebrow.
Javelin instantly looked down at his armor and frowned in confusion, "I... don't believe so, your highness?"
Celestia ignited her horn and cast a quick transportation spell. Javelin's armor was immediately removed and returned to his room while a navy blue dress shirt took its place. The stallion balked at his sudden wardrobe change while Anon stared at him, wide-eyed.
"What the?" Javelin questioned, looking down at his new attire.
"Oh wow! Looks like you're having dinner with us then." Anon said, slight excitement in his voice.
"Essentially, now come along you two. We really must be going if we're to make our reservation." Celestia smiled before turning toward the doorway. Anon, and a still confused Javelin, trailed after her, and they were swiftly led out of the castle and into the Canterlot upper district. Once there, the group easily navigated its way to the restaurant at the far end of the silver strip.
Upon approaching the 'Maretta', Anon looked over the crowd of ponies lined up out of the door. Every single one of them was dressed in their finest silk clothing and clearly dressed to impress. As Anon's group approached the line, the sound of idle chatter reached their ears. As they got closer, more and more heads turned toward them, and voices rose as ponies noticed Celestia walking toward them.
"Oh my gosh! It's the princess!" One mare exclaimed.
"She's so beautiful!"
"The Princess!? Where!?" Another cried out.
Soon the semi-circle of Canterlot's elite became a growing crowd of excited patrons all begging and pleading to be noticed by Celestia as she confidently strode through them, a gentle, yet reserved smile on her face the entire time. After a short time of slogging through the dozens of nobles, Celestia turned around and addressed them all.
"Good evening, my little ponies-" Celestia began, pulling all eyes to her, if they weren't already there,"-I hope that my arrival hasn't disturbed your evening. Please understand that I am simply here to have a pleasant dinner with my consort, Anonymous. If you would like to speak with us, please do so tomorrow morning at day court. As always, I treasure your time and kindness, however, I would like tonight to just be between me and my special somepony." She announced, her eyes subtly drifting over to Anon.
The crowd nodded in affirmation, although there were a few disgruntled curses thrown about at the consort's good fortune. Those were mostly drowned out by gasps of excitement and cheers for the Princess and her consort. With her work complete, Celestia turned to face Anon fully, batting her eyelashes at him invitingly.
"Well then, shall we?" A subtle hint of excitement in her voice.
Anon looked over the crowd, before looking back to Celestia, "We shall. Nice work by the way. They just ate that all up." Anon chuckled.
Celestia smiled as she turned and opened the door, ushering Anon inside. She followed behind, with Javelin and the rest of the guards falling in and closing the door behind her. Once inside, the solar alicorn instantly located the hostess and confidently strode up to her.
"Good evening. I have a reservation." Celestia said, a pleasant smile on her face.
"Of course, your highness. Right this way." The hostess replied, before turning tail and leading the group through the restaurant.
Anon's eyes were pulled to the unique decoration of the establishment. The ceiling and floor were both marble, with the sole exception that the floor marble on the floor was covered in a white rug that looked almost as if it was made out of clouds. The circular tables filling the restaurant were covered in a white tablecloth while the chairs were all black velvet. In the center of the room, however, stood a majestic granite statue of Princess Celestia herself, that doubled as a fountain.
Several ponies eating and conversing in the restaurant paused their activities to focus their attention entirely on the sun princess and her entourage as they entered the dining room. There were several gasps and whispers of excitement, but nothing quite as extreme as the reaction outside of the building. As Anon followed behind, he paused mid step and shook his head in amazement at the craftsmanship of the artwork all around him, before he was suddenly pulled away by Celestia's voice.
"This way, Anon." She called.
Anon quickly turned around to see the alabaster white alicorn already sitting at a large table just across from a large stage filled with orchestral instruments and ponies waiting to play them. He slowly approached the table and sat down across from Celestia, just as a soft melody began to play from the orchestra.
"So? What do you think?" Celestia inquired, a fair amount of excitement in her voice.
"It's... amazing. This whole place is just gorgeous," Anon breathlessly replied.
"I couldn't agree more. Now, I'm not sure about you, Anon, but I'm famished."
Author's Note
Just writing this made my wallet cringe. Not as bad as Anon's house though. That made my wallet cry.
All's Fair in Love and War
Celestia looked around the busy restaurant before looking back down to Anon with a smile still plastered on her face. Gentle music softly played from the stage to their right as the orchestra played their instruments, seemingly exclusively for the Princess and her consort.
"I'm glad that the restaurant is to your liking. It's been around for quite some time now, and has become something of a favorite of mine when I'm feeling like going out... not that I tend to do so very much anymore." Celestia explained, trailing off with a small chuckle.
Anon frowned, "You don't really get out that much anymore, what with all the responsibilities of being a princess, do you? ." He replied.
Celestia's smile dampened somewhat, "Well, there was a time for quite a while where I would go out on the town and enjoy time with my subjects on a more personal level... sadly my responsibilities have seen me busier and busier as time passed, and these days I find myself only going out to restaurants like this one when there's some sort of important meeting with delegates from other countries, or something to that end. Well, that and taking cute stallions out for a date, every now and then." She responded, looking over to Anon with an innocent look in her eyes.
Anon took a moment to take in Celestia's words, before a small blush creeped up on his cheeks, "Is this flirting I'm hearing? Celestia, I'm shocked," He said, holding his hand to his chest in feigned shock, "You know all the words to get to my heart." He chuckled.
Celestia let out a laugh, "I should hope so. A thousand years hopefully didn't go to complete waste in the dating department. Granted, I'm out of practice, and I'm used to these kinds of things moving far quicker, but for now, I'm simply enjoying the ride as you are, Anon." She explained, before a waiter in a well fitted black vest approached.
"Welcome to the 'Maretta' signora e signore. My name is Ignacio, and I will be serving you tonight. We hope that you are having a most wonderful evening. Might I interest you in some of our fine vinos?" The stallion greeted, his accent thick as it rolled off his tongue.
Celestia immediately magicked the menu into her hooves and looked over the wine selection. After only a few moments, she replied, "We'll have a bottle of the Chateau Lafaurie Peyraguey Sauternes ." She requested, receiving a small bow from the waiter.
"Of course, Princess," Ignacio responded, before turning tail and nearly galloping toward the kitchen.
As the waiter trotted away, Anon once more surveyed the room, "Well, this is a hell of a way to wind down after a long day. Must be expensive though." He surmised, looking back to Celestia.
Celestia chuckled, "Oh, Anon. It's well within the treasury's budget to wine and dine very important ponies, even if they happen to not be a pony, every once in a while. Besides, that's something that Raven would bring up... to... me..." She trailed off, a look of realization appearing on her face.
Anon tilted his head to the side, "Uh... everything okay, Celestia?"
Celestia's ears folded back against her head, "Um... yes. I just realized that I forgot something. Would you please excuse me for a moment?" She asked before standing up and heading toward the front desk.
"Uh, yeah... sure? I guess?" Anon replied, sounding completely lost as Celestia walked past him. He quickly leaned over to Javelin, "Hey, do you know what's going on?"
"I'm about as lost as you are, to be honest." Javelin answered, shrugging.
"She's really laying the charm on thick, though. Almost feels like a real date." Anon mentioned, sitting back upright.
"Certainly does feel that way." Javelin acknowledged with a noncommittal shrug.
Celestia quickly made her way to the front desk where the hostess was still sitting and tapped her on the wither.
"Oh my gosh! Princess, is there anything you need?" The hostess exclaimed, upon seeing who was trying to get her attention.
"Actually yes, there is. There should be a mare arriving soon, or maybe already waiting outside, by the name of Raven Inkwell. She's a white unicorn mare with a black mane and tail. Could you please do me the favor of inviting her inside if she's outside?" Celestia pleasantly inquired.
"Of course, Princess!" The hostess replied, before bolting out the front door.
"Is there anypony by the name of Raven Inkwell here tonight!?" The hostess shouted at the crowd.
"I am!" Raven responded, raising her hoof up in the air as the crowd around her grumbled at not being chosen.
Raven quickly swam through the crowd, much to their displeasure, and arrived at the front of the restaurant, wearing a black dress that hugged her haunches, withers, and barrel, but hung loose at her forelegs and hindlegs. Her mane was let down and brushed to the side, covering one side of her face while leaving the other exposed. A slightly noticeable amount of makeup and mascara was present on her eyes and face, highlighting her features nicely.
"Right this way, ma'am." The hostess cheerily greeted.
Raven nodded as she was led inside and quickly found herself face to face with Celestia once more.
"Raven! There you are. I am so sorry about that! I completely forgot to inform the staff that you would be joining us." Celestia acknowledged, an apologetic look on her face.
"It's perfectly fine, Princess. I was just getting acquainted with some of the nobility." Raven coolly responded as she approached the solar diarch.
"Right, well that's good to hear then. Come along, Raven. I think you'll enjoy the atmosphere." Celestia smiled, before turning to the hostess, "And thank you for finding my friend out there."
The hostess immediately blushed, "Oh, why... t-thank you, Princess!" She responded, a beaming smile on her face.
Celestia nodded before turning around and leading Raven toward the back of the restaurant where Anon and Javelin were talking. As they approached, Javelin's eyes were drawn to Raven as she walked toward him, her dress tightly clinging to her barrel with every step she took, highlighting her figure and assets while she approached. Javelin's jaw not-so-subtly dropped, prompting Anon to turn his attention to the returning diarch and her secretary.
"I do hope you don't mind, Anon, but I wanted to invite Raven out tonight with us. I thought we could do a... double-date, of sorts." Celestia began, breaking the ice with a wide smile as Raven looked up to her in shock.
"A double-date?" Anon questioned, raising an eyebrow.
"Of course, Anon and I are here to spend a the evening enjoying dinner together, and there does happen to be a dashing young royal guard sitting with us without a date." Celestia coyly replied, using her magic to push a now profusely blushing Raven toward Javelin.
"Uh, I... b-but... Princess-" Raven began, only to stop short as she bumped into Javelin's chest.
The tall stallion looked down at the secretary mare now pressed firmly against him while both of their coats adopted a shade of red more befitting of a tomato. After a moment of awkward silence, Javelin coughed into his hoof and stepped back enough to give Raven some breathing room.
"I... um... I suppose I'd be alright with that." He admitted, looking toward the ground as if it was the most interesting thing in the room.
Raven's blush managed to somehow darken even further as she stuttered for a response, "W-well... if... if the Sergeant is okay with it, then... then I suppose it w-would be alright."
Celestia absolutely beamed, "Fantastic! Come, come. Sit with us. The waiter is bringing a bottle of some Prench wine I'd just love for you all to taste."
The solar princess quickly ushered the guard and secretary to the table beside her own, before pushing it up until the tables connected, forming one large place for all four of them to sit and eat. As she diligently worked to get them all seated together, Anon watched with a raised eyebrow. He waited for Javelin to sit beside him before playfully elbowing him in the ribs.
"Looks like you're gonna get a chance with the hot secretary after all. Don't blow it." Anon teased with a grin.
Javelin shook his head and rolled his eyes, "I could say the same for you. Don't you blow it either." He chuckled.
Anon scoffed, "As if I could blow this even if I tried." He grinned, some bravado in his voice.
Before he could receive an answer, Celestia and Raven took their seats across from the man and stallion. Raven immediately took to drinking the glass of water placed out in front of her, while Celestia politely cleared her throat, indicating that she wanted to talk.
"So Anon, tell me. How has your week been? I haven't had a chance to really sit down with you and discuss anything other than your training with Raven all week, which I must say, I am impressed by, nonetheless. Raven's had nothing but good things to say about your progress every time I've spoken with her." Celestia spoke up, cheerily.
Anon chuckled, "Has she now? The other day she told me that if I didn't 'pick my head up from my book and pay attention, she was going to see how far monkey's can fly'." He responded.
Celestia's eyes immediately widened and she looked over to Raven with a look of shock on her face. Raven, meanwhile, spit out all of the water in her drink, nearly all of it landing on Javelin.
"W-what!? I didn't say anything like that!" Raven defensively exclaimed, before looking back to Javelin, "Oh my gosh! I am so sorry, Sergeant!" She cried, prompting Anon to double over in laughter, and attract the eyes of dozens of guests at the restaurant.
Raven immediately levitated no less than ten napkins from the nearby tables, as well as her own, over to Javelin's face and set about toweling him down. Javelin simply accepted the treatment as the water was quickly wicked away from his coat. Meanwhile, Anon wiped tears from his eyes while he continued to chuckle until his stomach hurt. Even Celestia struggled to keep a smirk from appearing on her lips as Raven frantically tried to undo her mistake.
Once Raven was finally satisfied enough to pull away from the stallion, she ignited her horn once more, forming a wave of heat energy that blew into Javelin's coat to dry any moisture she missed. After a few seconds, Javelin was completely dry, however now his coat was puffed up and overly-fluffed, giving him the appearance of a really large Pomeranian. Upon seeing this, Anon once again doubled over in laughter, this time joined by Celestia and a few snickers from the other guards and guests as well.
Raven held her head in her hooves in defeat as Javelin simply pursed his lips and stared straight ahead. A long, slow sigh escaped him after a moment, before he cast his own spell and smoothed out the fluffiness of his blow-dried coat.
"Yeah, yeah, laugh it up." Javelin rolled his eyes.
Anon and Celestia continued to laugh, then chuckle, and then eventually calm down after a few minutes, prompting the rest of the guards to resume their professional attitudes. Anon wiped one last tear from his eye as he held back a few more giggles at Javelin's expense just as Ignacio finally reappeared with the wine.
"Ah, I see that there are two additional guests tonight," He greeted, looking to Javelin and Raven with a practiced smile, "Welcome, welcome to the 'Maretta'. Is there a particular vino or other drink I could bring you two?"
Raven and Javelin shared a look before looking at the wine on Ignacio's tray.
"Um, I think I'll be fine with the wine Princess Celestia already ordered." Raven replied.
"Same here. I'm actually a little curious to try Prench wine. Never had any before." Javelin added.
"Well then signore e signora, you are both in for a treat." Ignacio responded, before levitating the bottle off of the tray and over to the table. He expertly poured an even amount of wine into each of the four wine glasses sitting in front of each pony or person at the table.
Celestia used her magic to pick up her glass and levitate it up to her lips. She took a dainty sip of the wine, its tart, yet lively flavor registering wonderfully on her palate as she gave the taste a moment to sink in, before swallowing.
"It's just as excellent as the first time. If not, better." Celestia kindly nodded to the waiter.
"I am pleased to hear that the wine is still up to your standards, Princess." Ignacio replied with a deep bow, before magicking a pen and paper out from his vest, "Now, have you all had a chance to look over the menu? Or shall I give you more time?" He asked, looking expectantly at the rest of the group.
Anon scratched the back of his neck while Javelin and Raven picked up their menus and looked over the entrees as quickly as they could.
"I think we'll need a few more minutes, Ignacio." Celestia chuckled.
The waiter stallion quickly returned his pen and paper to his vest, "Certainly, your highness. I will return in precisely five minutes."
With that, Ignacio trotted off toward the kitchen, leaving Anon, Javelin, Celestia, and Raven alone with only the pleasant sound of the music emanating from the stage across from them.
"I suppose I should have read over this a little sooner." Raven chuckled.
"Agreed... Everything on here is so expensive. I mean... I would go for the alfalfa salad, but it's over two hundred bits..." Javelin replied, his brow furrowing as he looked over his menu.
"Please, do not concern yourselves with the price of anything on the menu tonight. Even if we somehow overspend the treasury's allowance for the month in just one night, I have a private account that I haven't used in over two hundred years that will easily cover our meals." Celestia waved a hoof dismissively.
"A-are you certain, Princess?" Javelin hesitantly asked.
"Of course. You've done a fantastic job keeping Anon out of trouble lately, so consider this a reward for your good work ethic." Celestia cheerily replied.
The frown on Javelin's face instantly lifted, and he pointed to the aforementioned salad in his menu, "Well then I think I'd like to try the alfalfa." He declared.
Raven looked over her menu for a few more moments before setting it down and nodding once, "I suppose it would be rude of me to decline. I know what I want."
Celestia smiled before looking over to Anon, finding him swishing the wine in his glass around while he studied it closely. Javelin and Raven both looked on curiously as the tall man inspected his wine almost as if it was poisoned.
"Is everything alright with the wine, Anon?" Celestia inquired.
"Well, if I'm being honest, I've never been much of a wine drinker. Having said that, I can tell that it's old. Really old." He surmised.
Celestia smiled, "Very astute of you, Anon. That wine is actually over a hundred years old. It was a gift from the Hippogriff kingdom. Their queen and I have been friends for centuries." She explained.
"Jav and I were talking about them a bit earlier... I still haven't seen one yet." Anon replied, before taking a sip of his wine.
"You will soon enough. You'll have to learn about all of Equestria's neighbors and allies all over the world." Raven chimed in, before trying her wine as well.
Anon rolled his eyes as he set his wine glass back down on the table. He looked up to Celestia, finding her giving him an expectant look.
"What?" He asked.
"How is the wine?" Celestia questioned, excitedly.
"It's pretty good. Like I said, I've never been much for wine, but I can see the appeal." Anon replied with a small smile.
"Oh... I see. Well I'm glad you liked it." Celestia replied, a slightly downtrodden tone in her voice that she just couldn't seem to completely hide, even with her smile.
Anon looked at her curiously, but before he could say anything, Ignacio returned.
"Greetings once more. Have you all decided what you would like to eat this evening?" He inquired.
"Sure. Can I get the alfalfa salad?" Javelin spoke up.
"Of course. For you?" Ignacio replied, turning to Raven.
"I'd like the caesar salad." Raven answered.
"An excellent choice. For you, sir?" Ignacio turned to Anon.
"Uh... can I get the quinoa veggie soup?" Anon asked.
"Very nice choice, sir. And for you, Princess?" Ignacio bowed.
"I would like the fettuccine alfredo, if it's not too much trouble." Celestia politely requested.
"It's no trouble at all, Princess," Ignacio responded with another bow, before getting back up and addressing the group as a whole, "I will take your orders to the kitchen. I expect that your food will be ready very soon."
With that, the waiter pony left the group. Anon watched as he left, before his gaze shifted over to the solar princess sitting across from him once more. She swirled her wine in her glass for a few moments before taking another sip and placing it down on the table. Outwardly, her expression looked completely normal. There was a pleasant smile on her face, she seemed interested in everyone around her, and her posture was upright and proper. However, her eyes just didn't quite seem to convey that as much anymore. It made Anon frown.
"Hey, uh... Celestia? Are you alright?" Anon asked, leaning forward slightly.
Javelin and Raven both turned their attention to the solar princess as she looked at Anon quizzically.
"Of course, everything is fine. Why?" Celestia answered, tilting her head to the side.
Anon creased his brow for just a moment. He wondered if he was just seeing things or if his interpretation of equine body language just wasn't quite up to snuff, before shaking his head.
"Uh, no reason. You just looked a little upset for a second there. Sorry." Anon dismissed.
Celestia put on a winning smile, "Oh you needn't worry about me. I just had a passing thought about some work I need to do tomorrow. Not to worry though, I won't let a little distraction like that spoil this night." She happily replied, much to Raven, Anon, and Javelin's relief.
Anon chuckled, "I hear you. I'm not really looking forward to that part of the job if I'm being honest."
"Maybe if you paid attention to me more, you'd have an easier time understanding your duties." Raven chimed in with an unapologetic shrug.
"Now how would I annoy you if I did what you wanted me to?" Anon chuckled.
Raven pointed a hoof at Anon, "I knew it! You are just trying to mess with me!" She exclaimed.
Now it was Anon's turn to shrug unapologetically, "Well if I didn't, who would? It's a service that needs to be done."
Javelin snickered, earning a scowl from Raven that quickly made him avert his gaze and whistle inconspicuously. Meanwhile, Celestia brought a hoof over her mouth to keep from giggling at the exchange happening in front of her.
"You... you... ugh," Raven sighed, "I need a break from your antics." She sighed, shaking her head.
"Oh, Raven, I'm sure Anon is just joking with you. He isn't out to make your job any more difficult than it already is." Celestia spoke up, through her giggles.
"Yeah, yeah," Anon agreed, before leaning over to Javelin, "But like, not really though."
Javelin struggled to keep from laughing as Raven looked at them both with a deadpan expression on her face. Celestia decided to take the lull in conversation to initiate a new one with Anon once more.
"So, Anon," She began, ripping his attention away from Raven, "I haven't had a chance to ask much about it as of late, but I have been exceedingly curious over the past few weeks. Could you tell me a little about your life back on your world? I do find the concept of life on another planet just fascinating." She asked, giving him her full attention.
Anon nodded and took a few moments to collect his thoughts. Once he was ready, he fixed Celestia with an expectant look, "Alright, what would you like to know?"
"Well for starters, where did you grow up? What was growing up there like?" Celestia inquired.
Anon nodded once more, "Well, I grew up in a city named Syracuse. It's a nice enough place if you like the winter. Gets really cold up there and we got a lot of snow. Sometimes it was almost teo stories high." He explained.
"Two stories worth of snow? Oh my gosh." Raven spoke up, clearly interested in the story.
"Yeah, we got a lot of snow during the winters, and a lot of heat and humidity during the summers." Anon laughed.
Raven cringed, "Humidity makes my mane all frizzy. No thank you."
The group shared a small chuckle before Javelin chimed in, "You know what, now that we're talking about this, I just realized that I don't know much about you from before you got here. What did you do before you wound up in Equestria?"
"For work?" Anon asked, receiving a nod, "Well, I went to college for engineering. Found out that there's a lot of math involved and I'm actually not the smartest guy in every room I walk into," He chuckled, "That and parties are way more fun than calculating the solubility of carbon dioxide in aqueous amine solutions."
Raven, Javelin, and Celestia all stared at him blankly.
"The solubility of what?" Javelin asked, his ears folding back as he squinted in confusion.
"Exactly," Anon laughed, "So once I managed to fail that class, I had student loans to pay. So... I found a job at a local car shop, just fixing up trucks and other stuff people needed to have fixed. It paid the bills, and I didn't have to do complex equations. Win-win."
"I see. What exactly are these trucks you were fixing?" Celestia inquired, giving Anon her full attention.
"Long story. Basically, they're just carts that are powered by engines so you don't have to pull them yourself. Work great in pretty much all conditions, but we did get a lot of them coming in because people can't drive for crap in the snow." Anon shrugged.
"Well when you're getting a building's worth of it, I imagine it'd be hard to do just about anything." Raven shook her head.
Anon chuckled, "And don't even get me started on how cold it got. I think the lowest I ever saw was negative fifty degrees, and that's without the wind chill."
"Wow." Javelin whistled.
"I don't think I've heard of temperatures that cold anywhere in Equestria. I believe the lowest temperature we've ever recorded was long before I was born, back when the wendigos ruled and the pony tribes all lived separate from each other." Celestia thoughtfully added.
Anon did a double take, "Wait a minute... there was stuff going on before you were born?"
Celestia chuckled, "Of course there was. I'm only around thirteen hundred years old. Somepony had to raise the sun and moon before my sister and I did."
"You didn't think Equestria was only a thousand years old, did you?" Javelin playfully elbowed Anon's side.
Anon shook his head, "I mean... kinda, yeah. Who raised the sun and moon before you guys were born?" He pressed, leaning forward with interest.
"Oh well, to tell you that story, we'd have to go back to the very founding of Equestria and Hearth's Warming." Celestia replied.
"Well, we've got some time before the food comes out. Besides, I haven't really had any history lessons yet, so this is interesting to me." Anon smiled.
Celestia felt a warmth in her heart at Anon's smile, and allowed a dainty little smile of her own to form on her face.
"Oh, I suppose we have some time. It all started back over two-thousand years ago, long before ponies knew harmony..."
Author's Note
I think that it shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone that a bit of this story was inspired by "Everyday Life with Guardsmares". While I can't say I'm super into the story anymore, I really do like a lot of the characters and world building in there. So I may have... borrowed a little bit here and there, purely in a way to pay homage to that story.
But anyways, yeah! The princesses and Anon sharing their culture is something that I think is super neat and important for an actual relationship to form, and I am super hyped for the next few chapters. I think you guys will really like them. Hopefully. I'm just spitballing at this point.
All's Fair in Love and War
Chapter 19: A Little Closer
Anon quickly devoured the rest of the sandwich while Luna took dainty little bites out of hers. The quickly darkening skies blanketed the park, driving many of the ponies home for the night while the man and princess observed the stars. Soon enough the park was nearly deserted, with only a few residents still present to stargaze, or observe the princess of the night while she was out in public. Anon's eyes were eventually drawn down to the night alicorn as she finally finished her sandwich and took another sip of her apple cider.
"Hey, Luna." Anon spoke, receiving Luna's full attention in return.
"Yes, Anon?" She responded.
"So... I know that I should probably know this and all... but do you actually... move the stars?" Anon inquired, curiously.
Luna chuckled, "Fear not, Anon. I'm sure Raven was going to inform you of all of my and my sisters duties posthaste. Regardless, I can answer that question easily enough. Technically, no, I don't move the stars out in the distance, but I do make them appear in a certain way to the ponies in Equestria." She explained.
Anon's brow raised, "So... how do you do that? I mean... that seems really hard to do for the whole sky across an entire country... and you move the moon too? Sounds almost like you're more powerful than Celestia." He shrugged.
Luna laughed a light-hearted, soft laugh, "I'm afraid that my sister and I are equals. Neither one of us holds more power than the other."
Anon tilted his head to the side, "But... how though?"
Luna turned to fully face him, a sudden shyness present in her features, before clearing her throat to begin, "Well, you must understand, Anon. What I do to the night sky... it's little more than an illusion." She admitted.
"But... you still move a giant moon and do that to an entire skyline. Even if it's just an illusion, that's still super impressive." He pressed.
"Well... illusion is a bit of an oversimplification. What's actually happening, is that I cast a spell over the entire skyline, and alter the light entering our atmosphere, to display the stars as I want them to be seen. Just by themselves, the stars are so... distant, and uninspired. When I rearrange them, I feel as if each star is given purpose. Each light given a new meaning. There's a method to it, that makes the stars stand out in ways they simply never could before." Luna elaborated, a faint blush appearing on her muzzle at Anon's praise.
Anon nodded, "Well I still say it's impressive as hell. Especially since it's only part of what you do every night." He surmised.
Luna smiled, "Indeed, the skyline illusion is only a small part of my job. Most of what I do revolves around raising and lowering the moon, and the dream realm."
Anon shifted to face Luna more completely, "Okay, so I know about the moon, but tell me what the dream realm is like. That sounds crazy as hell. I mean, I don't really dream all that much, but when I do, it's some weird shit, so I can't imagine what pony dreams are like." He asked, a newfound excitement in his tone.
Luna chuckled, "It is a very surreal place. It is difficult to make sense of most of what happens there unless you understand how dreams work. There are plenty of strange dreams, ranging all the way from jelly monsters to amorous affairs that are best kept in the imagination... Having said that, I have just now realized that I have not seen your dreams yet. Perhaps I will have to visit you one of these evenings and show you just what is capable once you are aware you are in a dream." She replied, offering a small smile.
Anon nodded excitedly, "Oh that'd be rad as hell! I've never had a lucid dream before. Tried for a long time, but it just never happened."
Luna smiled, "Well then I will be sure to visit your dreams in the coming nights. I admit, I find the prospect quite exciting, myself. I've never ventured into the dreams of a creature as unique as you."
Anon grinned widely, "Awesome. Thanks, Luna."
Luna blushed slightly while she looked away, "Think nothing of it, Anon. If anything, I must apologize for not seeing you sooner." She admitted, sadly.
Anon placed his hand on Luna's wither, earning a small, almost imperceptible squeak of surprise from the dark alicorn, "It's alright, Luna. I know you were going through a lot, and me just showing up didn't make things better. I'm just glad that we're past all that." He offered, smiling encouragingly.
The dark blush on Luna's muzzle darkened even further as she looked down at Anon's hand, his soft digits already having sunk into her fur and resting against her skin.
"T-thank you, Anon... but I was far too harsh on you. Even under the circumstances. you were quite right to compare me to Nightmare Moon... I... I never wanted to be that mare again and I still cannot forgive how my actions were completely in line with how she would have acted." Lune responded, her eyes falling to the grass below as her withers slumped slightly.
Anon simply gave a small squeeze of support, "Well, if it means anything at all, I do forgive you, Luna. You've been really kind to me ever since, and I really appreciate it." He said, assuringly.
Luna allowed a small smile to grace her face before Anon pulled his hand away.
"That does remind me," Anon started, looking up to the moon, "When you were on the moon, as... well, her , did you spend all thousand years of that time completely awake and conscious? Or did it pass by like a dream?" He inquired, thoughtfully.
Luna looked up to the moon as well, seeing it's pale light beaming down on the world below. The craters were still easily visible, even from Equestria, prompting memoires of their deep, empty presence to flash through her mind.
"It... passed like a dream. Hardly a punishment for me, I'd say." Luna said, looking down to the city below.
Anon frowned at her words. He watched her in silence for a moment before looking up to the moon and sighing, "You know, the moon here is a lot bigger than the moon back home. Is that because it's not that far away, or is it more of an optical illusion kind of thing?" He asked, deciding to change the subject.
Luna followed his gaze up to her moon, "I... suppose it's a large moon. It's not a part of the illusion I cast on the night sky... I can't say I really have anything to compare it too. I've only ever been to that moon. As long as I've been alive, it's the only one that has loomed over Equestria. Astronomers estimate that it resides several hundred thousand miles away. " She replied.
Anon hummed in thought, "Huh... Well, if it's a couple hundred thousand miles away... it might be about the same distance as the moon back home. Yeah, I think you ponies will be able to land on the moon once you invent the rocket ship. No problem." He nodded.
Luna looked at Anon with a raised eyebrow, "A... rocket ship? What, pray tell, even is that? And why would ponies want to go up to the moon in the first place? There's nothing there. Every trace of Nightmare Moon followed her when she returned."
"Well, to answer those in order, a rocket ship is basically a tube that has a few ponies in it, and you put a bunch of fuel in it and blast off into space. The idea is for it to leave the planet's atmosphere and keep the ponies inside alive. As for the why... because why the hell not? We did it just to prove that we could." Anon shrugged.
Luna did a double take, "Wait a minute... are you jesting with me?" She squinted at Anon in an adorably scrutinizing fashion.
Anon chuckled, "No, seriously. We actually put several men on the moon. It was a huge deal in the sixties. The big 'space race'. I think we put like, a dozen people on the moon by the time all the other countries just gave up."
Luna's jaw dropped, "You... you mean you actually sent humans onto the moon? B-but... wouldn't they die? There's no way to grow food up there. No way for creatures to breathe. They couldn't have just sent them up there to die..." She pressed, leaning toward Anon.
"Well, you know... sometimes you gotta make sacrifices for the greater good." Anon shrugged.
Luna simply stared at Anon in shock. He managed to keep a straight face for almost five seconds before a grin split his face, and he snickered. Luna frowned before realizing that Anon was messing with her, and rolling her eyes.
"Very funny, Anon. You almost had me there." Luna shook her head.
Anon laughed, "You should've seen your face. You were so scared."
Luna rolled her eyes once more, "Yes, yes. Very humorous, the concept of your people dying in space just to prove a point. Or even leaving the planet to begin with."
"Oh no, that part's true. We just didn't leave anybody up there to die, is all." Anon corrected.
Luna tilted her head to the side as a deadpan expression found its way onto her face, "Oh, really?"
"Yeah, no that part was for real. We even took pictures. If I still had my phone and cell service, I'd show you." Anon replied.
Luna continued to stare into Anon's eyes, scanning for more deception, but after a few moments, she only found honesty. Perhaps a dash of mischief, but Anon wasn't lying.
"Sweet Faust," She muttered, "Your kind actually visited your moon." She shook her head.
Anon offered an apologetic shrug, "Yep. We've actually left the Earth a lot of times. There's usually a bunch of astronauts in space at any given time. It'd be the coolest thing ever, but only like, a thousandth of a percent of our population gets to do anything that cool." He explained.
Luna looked at Anon with fascination suddenly in her eyes, "So... your kind are intrigued by the stars and moon?"
Anon laughed loudly, making Luna's ears flick back for a moment, "Are you kidding? There's like... millions of books, stories, and movies all dedicated to exploring space and the hypothetical things out there. One of the biggest questions we ever asked was 'are we alone in the universe?'. I would say that I finally have the answer to that question, but I'm pretty sure that this is an entirely different dimension, not somewhere off in the universe, no matter how far away."
Luna felt her heart flutter with excitement, "That's wonderful to hear!" She exclaimed.
Anon smiled, "And as for the moon? Oh, way back before we ever landed on the thing, it was the subject of romance. I can't tell you how many plays, and books, and stories were all written about the moon and how important it was to everyone." He added.
Luna's eyes widened in excitement, "Really?! That's... that's such wonderful news. Here in Equestria, the moon was always seen as some looming force of darkness. Ponies were too scared to go out at night for centuries." She explained.
"Really? I would've thought that the ponies would love the moon. It's what gives you so much light at night around here. Especially since your moon is so big. Earth's moon is puny compared to yours." Anon responded.
Luna sighed, "Unfortunately, there was much superstition a thousand years ago. Ponies believed in all kinds of dark and terrible creatures, and almost all of them exclusively came out at night."
"You're talking about stuff like vampires, zombies, werewolves, and the like, right?" Anon asked, receiving a nod in return, "Why did they think all that stuff only came out at night? I mean, besides the vampires, I guess... and the werewolves... I mean really, they can't all come out at night, can they? Zombies are a day time thing too, right?" He asked, scratching his head in thought.
"I can only assume because of the nature of Equestria. We ponies evolved in a land wrought with predators that preyed on us at night in particular... Having said that, we evolved thousands of years ago. Even today, some of those tall tales and little foal's stories are still commonplace, and the children in particular can be terrified of my night." Luna admitted, sadly.
Anon frowned, "Well... don't you visit little kids in their dreams? Can't they see there, that you're not this big bad evil creature they might still think of you as? Or show them that there's nothing to be afraid of at night? At least not anymore." He reasoned.
"I try. Although it seems as if the foals are too many in number for me to reach them all. Even if I dedicated every waking hour of my life to helping them with their nightmares and making them smile, I fear it still wouldn't be enough. Especially since my return was marred by Nightmare Moon." Luna sullenly replied.
Anon bit his lip. He looked behind him to see that the park was now completely empty. Slowly, he turned back around and looked at the night princess as she stared out over the distant lights of a nighttime Equestria. He quietly scooched closer to the mare as she continued to think to herself, until he arrived just beside her. Luna was broken from her stupor by Anon's newfound proximity, and she looked up to him curiously.
"Uh... can I... would it be okay... do you mind if..." Anon struggled to get his words out, finding Luna's piercing eyes gazing right into his as her lips parted slightly.
"Anon?" She asked, confused.
A moment of silence passed between them.
"Fuck it, Ima just go for it." Anon decided after taking all the embarrassment he could.
He wrapped his arm around Luna's wither and pulled her against him, her head coming to a rest just below his neck as he completed the hug by gently wrapping his other arm around her neck. Luna gasped at the contact, a fierce blush instantly shooting up her neck and all over her face. She went rigid in his arms, her wings pompfing out almost reflexively. Almost.
The immediate sensation of Luna's velvety soft fur caught Anon's attention, and he struggled to comprehend yet another feeling of déjà vu. For a moment, he was too preoccupied with the feeling of Luna's fur to notice her unfurling wings. However, after her primaries brushed against his thigh, Anon noticed the impressive wingspan that just managed to not slap him while they unfurled. He let out a small whistle.
"It's a hug, not an attempt on your life, I promise. You can put those back." He offered, scratching encouragingly against Luna's neck.
The midnight alicorn felt her ears burn in embarrassment as her wings went rigid as well, both of them sticking straight out in the air while her tail flicked back and forth in excitement. Anon watched the display cautiously for only another moment before releasing his hold on Luna and holding his hands up in surrender.
"Alright, clearly this isn't eliciting the reaction I was hoping for so Ima just let go before you kill me or something." Anon announced.
"No! Wait!" Luna shouted, almost in her full royal Canterlot voice.
A few birds in the park fluttered from their trees and fled the area while Anon rubbed his ear, "Jesus... you've got some serious volume in those lungs of yours." He said, shaking his head as his ear rang.
Luna fought to control her wings while her blush only deepened, "I-I am so sorry, Anon... I just... I wasn't expecting that. It's quite alright, if you'll just give me a moment..." She trailed off, looking back to her painfully stiff wings in irritation.
Anon finally regained enough of his hearing to understand what Luna was saying and watch her curiously, "Uh, alright... what's wrong with your wings?" He asked.
"N-nothing! Nothing is wrong with my wings. Why would you assume something's wrong?!" Luna responded, clearly panicking.
"Luna, talk to me, what's up? I don't think I've ever seen your wings that stiff before." Anon asked, concern lacing his tone.
Luna took to physically prying her wings back down to her barrel, one by one until she was finally able to control them. She let out a small sigh of relief as they finally acquiesced to her commands, before turning back to Anon.
"Oh, there's nothing to worry about... It was just a... surprised reaction. I didn't expect you to touch me," Luna finally replied, before whispering to herself, "... at least, not yet."
Anon's ears were still ringing too loudly to make out the last part, but he nodded his head regardless, "Well, uh... that was some reaction. I've never seen a pegasus react like that before, but then again... I don't think I've ever hugged one. A-anyways, are you sure you're good? For a second there I thought I pissed you off and your wings were flaring up like some kind of defense mechanism. Thought you were gonna fly me up a thousand feet and drop me or something." He responded, holding his hand over his chest.
Luna shook her head, "I wouldn't do that to you, Anon. I swear it. As for the wings... like I said, it was simply a reaction of surprise, nothing more. I... I would like to be hugged again." She admitted, her head dipping down in shyness.
Anon felt his heart melt at the princess's admission. He instantly held his arms out invitingly, "Well alright. Come here." He offered.
Luna sheepishly looked up to Anon and stepped toward him. She quickly found the spot she wanted and laid down on Anon's lap. Her forelegs curled on the outside of his thigh while her head came to a rest against his chest once more. Anon wasted no time and pulled her into another hug. One of Anon's arms gingerly wrapped around Luna's neck and pulled her head against his chest while the other wrapped around her outside wither. Anon's fingers came to a comfortable rest just atop Luna's chest fluff. It was noticeably smaller than Celestia's, but looked even softer to the touch.
Anon found himself wanting to dig his fingers into Luna's fluff almost instantly while she softly sighed against his chest. He resisted the urge for just a moment, deciding instead to gently set his fingers atop her floof instead. Still, the gesture made her gasp in surprise, making Anon yank his fingers back immediately.
"Sorry! Sorry. Still not sure where it's okay to hug you guys." Anon admitted, sheepishly scratching the back of his neck.
Luna pursed her lips for a moment, before looking down to her chest fluff and frowning.
"It is... Considered a bit intimate to touch or nuzzle a mare's chest fluff, Anon. Especially with estrus season just a few days away." Luna admitted, sounding slightly disappointed, herself.
Anon nodded quickly, "Right, right. Wouldn't want to give the wrong idea. Sorry about that. Is there anywhere else I should avoid?" He asked, returning his hand to Luna's outside wither. The soft fur there still felt amazing on his hand, even if her chest fluff was the softest thing he'd ever touched.
Luna felt her blush returning in full force, "W-well... Aside from the... obvious places, it would be best to avoid touching a mare's horn or wings... they can be quite sensitive... also, for earth ponies, their hooves as well. Although, that isn't quite so intimate." She explained.
Now it was Anon's turn to blush, "Annnnnnnnnd you have all three of those... got it. So, I guess I'll just stick to where we are right now?" He offered, awkwardly maintaining a half-hug, half-retreat.
Luna rolled her eyes and chuckled, "Anon, you may hug me. It's fine. We're both adults here."
Anon nodded, before slowly squeezing Luna closer. Her head gently pressed against his chest while her plush fur engulfed his hand. Luna felt her cheek rest right up between Anon's pectoral muscles, their firm pressure embracing her kindly, and washing away the last of her reservations about the act. Finally, Anon reached the extent of a comfortable hug and simply held Luna close while he used his off-hand to gently scratch Luna's cheek, just below her ear.
The dark alicorn's eyes widened considerably at the change of pace, but she quickly found that the delicate scratching motion of Anon's fingers felt absolutely divine. She tilted her head further into his chest to allow better access, while ensuring not to gore him with her horn in the process. For a few moments, they both simply laid there, the contact as refreshing as it was strange.
Then, Luna wrapped her hooves around Anon's waist and squeezed even closer. Anon stifled a gasp at the strength of the alicorn's forelegs while she nuzzled into his chest like a kitten. The now mutual hug felt even better than either imagined it would, especially given the circumstances of their relationship. That thought weighed on both of their minds for almost a minute, before Luna released her tight grip and let Anon simply hold her head against his chest.
"This... is nice." Luna whispered, so quiet that Anon could barely hear it.
"Yeah, it is." He replied.
Anon looked down at Luna's slowly billowing mane and chewed his cheek as he debated his next move. A few seconds of debate was all it took for him to come to a decision and lean down to nuzzle his cheek against the top of Luna's head. Her mane instantly registered on his skin as cool to the touch, yet still somehow with an underlying layer of warmth that made him only want to lean into it further. Below him, Luna looked up to see Anon as he squeezed her tighter to his chest, his cheek resting comfortably in her mane.
Luna stifled a chuckle at the sight, before wrapping her forelegs around him once more and squeezing him tighter in thanks. This time, the hug lasted much longer, going on for more time than either man or pony cared to count. All they knew was that the stars had moved and the moon was high in the night sky once they finally released each other.
Still resting in Anon's lap, Luna looked up to the tall man with a gentle smile on her face, "Thank you for that, Anon. I... I think I really needed that." She said, gazing up to him gratefully.
Anon smiled back, "I should be thanking you. That was one of the nicest hugs I've had in a long time. Actually, I think that was the best hug I've ever had, and that's saying something. My mom was a great hugger." He chuckled.
Luna beamed, "I am pleased to hear that. I think I would like to do this again with you, if you would as well." She offered.
Anon nodded, "Of course. You're like, unbelievably soft to touch." He replied, stroking his hand down her neck as if to prove his point.
Luna closed her eyes in bliss at the contact, before Anon paused.
"You know, I do actually have a question for you that I just thought of." He stated.
"What's that?" Luna asked.
"Well... it kinda goes back to what you said earlier... about estrus being right around the corner," Anon began. Luna felt her cheeks darken once more, "I know that all the other ponies go through it, but when I asked Jav about you and Celestia, he couldn't really say. I mean, if it's a personal thing, then don't even worry about it, but I am curious. From what he's made it out to sound like, and what I've actually seen out at the nightclub... you and Celestia aren't gonna be all over the place, right?" He asked, as delicately as he could.
By the time he was done, Luna felt her entire chest, ears, and face burning in embarrassment once more, "A-anon, I'm not sure what you've heard, but my sister and I are more than capable of containing our urges, even during estrus."
Anon nodded, "Ah, so you guys do go into heat then?"
"Y-yes, we do." Luna replied.
"Alright then. Just making sure. I'll need to buy a few more locks for my door then." Anon responded, with a teasing grin.
Luna pouted. It only lasted for a few seconds before Anon pulled her into another hug.
"Eh, who am I kidding, you're gonna be too busy banging Celestia." He laughed.
Luna hugged him back, although she did pout just a bit harder.
Author's Note
Daaaaaaaw. They're hugging! Told you guys Luna was actually a real softy. Anon just needed to get her to open up a bit 😁
Hope you guys liked this one. Probably the cutest one in the story imo, but I've been wrong before lol. There's still many chapters still to come, so who knows.
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All's Fair in Love and War
Chapter 20: So Beautiful, it Belongs in a Museum
Sunday
Celestia paced back and forth in her room as the clock on the wall continued to tick the seconds by. The otherwise silent room only served to heighten the stress weighing on her mind already, and after a few minutes of constant ticking, Celestia looked up to the clock in question and cast a spell to silence the mechanical instrument. Finally, with some quiet, she continued with her pacing, her brow deeply furrowed in thought.
Her pacing would only last for a few more minutes, however, as a sharp knock on her door broke her from her concentration. The solar princess looked over to the door with a raised eyebrow, before looking back at the clock once more.
"Now who could that be? It's only ten thirty." Celestia muttered, biting her lip in thought.
The knocking continued once more, drawing her attention again and prompting her to unlock the latch with her magic.
"It's open! You may enter!" Celestia called to the visitor.
The door swiftly opened, revealing none other than Anon, with Javelin coming in just behind him.
"Anon? What brings you over here on your day off?" Celestia asked, her eyes widening some.
Anon shrugged, "Well Luna was wondering where you went off to after breakfast. She crashed after we got back from our date, but still wanted to tell you something."
Celestia nodded, "Oh yes, I do recall needing to speak with her. Perhaps it'd be best to let her rest. After all, I imagine you two had an enjoyable evening together last night."
Anon smiled, "It... actually went really well. It almost felt like a real date, if I'm being honest. Luna was so much more... I dunno, gentle? Pleasant? She was just really nice to be around last night. Her fur's so damn soft too." He chuckled.
Celestia joined Anon in sharing a small chuckle, "Yes, Luna has always been quite proud of how soft she keeps her coat," She responded, before leaning in conspiratorially, "Her secret is lavender shampoo. It's impregnated with aloe lotion that really makes your coat feel like it's made out of a cloud." She giggled.
Anon grinned, "Well shit, maybe I outta get something like that as a gift for Sunshine," He suggested, before looking down to Javelin and missing the stunned look on Celestia's face, "Do you think she would like that? Her coat already felt like it was made of feathers."
Javelin scratched his chin with his hoof, "Well... if her coat was already that soft, then maybe you should consider something else for a gift. Maybe... a brush? Mares do love when somepony else brushes their coats and manes." He suggested.
Anon nodded thoughtfully, "Now see, that's a great point. Thanks, Jav. This is why I keep you around." He said, turning back to Celestia.
"You couldn't get rid of me even if you tried. It's not your call." Javelin smirked, playfully rolling his eyes.
Celestia managed to recover her wits enough to return her facial expression to a more normal one just as Anon looked back at her. She forced a smile and nod to the man as he placed his hands on his hips.
"Now... where can I get a brush that she'll like? We've only got..." Anon checked his wrist, only to find that, as usual, he didn't have a watch, "Dammit... well we've got like, a few hours to go find one, so do you know anywhere worth going to, Celestia?" He asked, his face scrunched up in thought.
Celestia blinked owlishly at Anon, "Me? W-why are you asking me?" She questioned.
"Well, duh? You're a mare. You've got like, eight brushes in here. I figured you'd have a few favorites or at least an idea of what other mares might like." Anon shrugged.
Celestia bit her lip and looked down to the floor. Several thoughts passed through her mind as Anon and Javelin waited for a response.
"W-well... isn't is more typical for a mare to buy her stallion a gift?" Celestia inquired, sheepishly.
Anon laughed, "Well maybe here, but not where I'm from. Besides, I want to get her something. I don't care who gets who the first gift, I just wanna give her something to make her happy. It makes me happy when she's happy." He explained.
Celestia allowed a bashful smile to overtake her features before finding a response, "W-well... if I were Sunshine... I think the 'Curlinator' from Fleur de Lis's spa down the street would be a good choice." She offered, timidly.
"The 'Curlinator'?" Anon parroted.
Celestia nodded, "Mmm-hmm. The one with a mana gem on the back so you charge it while you hold it with your magic. It has a brush and also curls your mane so you can try different styles..." She elaborated, a hint of a blush on her face.
Anon and Javelin shared a look.
"Well, I think that'll do then. How much is it? Can't be too bad, right? I've got like, five thousand bits in this bag." Anon said, pulling out his bit pouch.
"It's... two thousand bits..." Celestia spoke up, making Anon blanch.
"T-two thousand bits? Jesus Christ... this thing better be able to make Sunshine fly." Anon shook his head.
"It... does have a feature that can be used to massage the muscles on the back and neck..." Celestia quietly added.
Anon raised an eyebrow, "Right... Well, I guess if it is for Sunshine, I can buy it. It's not like I need the bits anyways." He shrugged with a sigh.
"Eh, you'll have more bits in a matter of weeks. What's the harm in spoiling one of the mares you're crazy about." Javelin suggested.
Anon chuckled, "I know, I know. I'm just used to barely scraping by. Call me cheap, but I just have this aversion to spending a lot of money. Just feels like I shouldn't, even when I know I can, you know?" He replied.
Javelin shrugged, "I guess so, but don't forget about Nightshade. You were getting really close to her at the nightclub earlier. You might want to get her something too."
Anon facepalmed, "Ah, shit... you're right. Man, I don't know how you ponies do it. Having one girlfriend is expensive enough, but having two?" He sighed.
Celestia's brow furrowed nervously, "I... wasn't aware you were dating both Sunshine and Nightshade." She mentioned.
"Well, dating is a bit of a strong word, I guess. I mean, I really like Sunshine, and I want to see where this goes with her, but I keep running into Nightshade and having an awesome time with her. So... I'm thinking about asking Nightshade out for a date next time I see her. I mean... that's not super taboo or anything, is it? Dating two sisters?" Anon inquired, scratching his head.
Celestia and Javelin both gave Anon a deadpan look for several seconds. Eventually, it dawned on him.
"Oh yeah... well you know what I mean though. Dating sisters that aren't kinda... a package deal because of a law that one of them signed." Anon replied.
Celestia raised an eyebrow.
"Anon, I'd say you're only digging a deeper hole at this point." Javelin chimed in, glancing back and forth between Celestia and the human.
Anon nodded, "You make a good point. Here, we'll get out of your mane, Celestia. Sorry for the dumb question." He offered as he turned for the door.
Celestia sighed and shook her head, "Worry not, Anon. You're still learning Equestria. It's unreasonable of me to expect you to understand all of our societal nuances, already." She relented with a lighthearted chuckle.
"I promise one of these days I'll stop asking stupid questions. Trust me, Raven's pretty much made me sign that into a contract." Anon replied.
Celestia laughed as Anon and Javelin reached the door.
"Alright, well have fun on your date, Anon. I'll see you th-later. Later, tonight. I'll be eager to hear how it went." Celestia responded.
Anon waved in response and headed out the door, with Javelin falling in right behind him. Once they were both clear of the bedroom, the solar princess collapsed to her haunches and let out a deep sigh.
"How in the hay am I supposed to break his heart as Sunshine when I can't even stay mad at him as myself?" Celestia asked herself, her brow furrowing as her wings sagged behind her.
Another knock on the door quickly redirected Celestia's attention away from herself, and she scrambled to her hooves, lest she open the door in an unpresentable fashion.
"It's open!" She called.
Raven swiftly opened the door and closed it with her hind leg as she stepped inside. She gave a quick bow to Celestia before rising to her hooves.
"Princess, I have a few things I need to discuss with you with regards to the nobles. They've been growing increasingly concerned and vocal with regards to Anonymous's disposition and public appearance... to be honest, they're not the only ones." Raven announced, looking to Celestia expectantly.
Celestia merely nodded before turning to face her mirror and eye her reflection curiously.
"I'm sure it's nothing so serious. We're doing all that we can with regards to Anon's ability to learn the job. Now, speaking of Anon, I do have a date that I need to see to with him in a couple hours over at the Mueller Art Museum. I could use your advice on that front, Raven." Celestia replied.
Raven frowned, "Princess, with all due respect, don't you think that a date with Anonymous is a little less important than the entire noble class questioning his capabilities? Sure, they think you genuinely love him, but they have legitimate concerns that we should be addressing instead of ignoring." She argued.
Celestia nodded uninterestedly, "Well I'm certain that the nobles would have concerns if Anon was the most powerful and kind creature on the planet. Concerns that largely stem from the simple fact that they aren't in his horseshoes." She said, turning to face the secretary.
"But, Princess-" Raven began.
"Raven, trust me. While I love my ponies and care for their concerns, I simply don't agree with them in this regard. Were their concerns genuine, and not simply the manifestation of spite and jealousy, then I would listen to them accordingly. Besides, you're teaching Anon. He can't be doing that badly in his classes, is he?" Celestia cut her off.
"W-well... he's not doing horribly... but he's not retaining all of the information either. I can tell that he's distracted in some of the classes I'm teaching." Raven frowned.
Celestia nodded thoughtfully, "I see. Well I can certainly encourage him to study more and pay more attention to your lectures when I see him... speaking of which, I do only have a couple of hours before I need to meet Anon at the museum, and now I need to get him a gift as well. Do you think he'll like if I wear something? Or should I stay natural for the date?" She questioned, scratching her chin in thought.
Raven's mouth hung slightly open as she raised an eyebrow and tilted her head to the side. After several seconds of silence while Celestia looked herself over in the mirror, the solar diarch gasped.
"Oh! What am I doing?" She exclaimed, prompting a sigh of relief from Raven.
Celestia immediately cast the transformation spell on herself, nearly blinding the secretary with the intensity of the light. Once the spell was complete, Sunshine stood where Celestia once was, although considerably shorter. Upon completion of the spell, Raven opened her eyes, only to frown and sink to her haunches.
"There we go. Silly of me to judge my appearance in the wrong form." Sunshine tittered, her higher pitched, softer voice sounding alien in Raven's ears.
Sunshine eyed herself in the mirror for a few more moments before looking back to her secretary.
"Um... Raven? Are you alright?" Sunshine asked, tilting her head to the side.
Raven sighed and facehoofed, "Yes, Princess... I'm... quite alright. I'll just try to contain the situation with the nobles, myself." She replied, before getting to her hooves and turning for the door.
Sunshine smiled, "Fantastic! Thank you so much, Raven... But before you go, can I get your opinion on something?" She questioned.
Raven turned around to see Sunshine holding a sunflower up to her mane with her magic, "Do you like the look better with or without?" Sunshine asked, a wide smile on her face.
Raven stared at the cheery unicorn in disbelief for what felt like an eternity. Eventually, and with no sign of Sunshine's smile wavering, Raven sighed heavily.
"I think it looks better with the sunflower." She admitted.
Sunshine squealed in happiness, "I knew it! Thank you so much, Raven! You're the best!" She exclaimed, quickly rushing the secretary and giving her a hug.
Raven pouted through the hug, but eventually returned the gesture.
"Yes, yes. I try. Now please, try to remember the point of this date. You're supposed to be breaking up with Anon, remember?" She asked, still engulfed in a warm hug.
Now it was Sunshine's turn to pout, "I know that, Raven! I'm just... making sure I look presentable."
Raven rolled her eyes, "Right ."
.
.
.
.
.
Some Time Later
Sunshine paced in the front yard of the Mueller Art Museum, a small frown on her face as she muttered quietly to herself.
"Where is he? He should have arrived by now... did something happen to him? No... Sergeant Javelin was with him. Surely he's taking care of Anon just fine... so where could they be?" She asked herself as she gazed down at the ground.
As if to answer her question, Sunshine felt a gentle tap on her wither, and looked up to find Anon standing in front of her with one hand behind his back and a wide smile on his face. The sight of the tall man instantly sent a wave of relief and excitement washing over Sunshine's entire body.
"Anon!" She cheered, launching herself at him and pulling him down into a hug.
Anon gladly returned the hug with one arm while he kept his other hidden behind his back as Sunshine nuzzled her cheek against his.
"Sorry to keep you waiting. I got stuck in line trying to get you something." Anon explained, before noticing the sunflower stuck in her mane, "Oh my god, that looks absolutely beautiful on you."
Sunshine smiled brightly into the hug, "Thank you! I'm so glad you like it." She giggled.
Sunshine released the hug and dropped back down to her hooves. She tilted her head to the side in faux curiosity, but very genuine excitement.
"But what's this about you getting me something?" She smiled energetically.
Anon brought forth a decently sized pleather box with his other hand and held it out encouragingly in front of the unicorn.
"It's just a little something a friend said you might like. Here, let me know what you think." Anon replied, offering up the gift.
Sunshine took the box with her magic and quickly opened it, exposing the 'curlinator' mane brush. She squealed in happiness as she hugged the box closer to her chest.
"Oh my gosh! Thank you so much, Anon! This is just what I've wanted for months!" Sunshine beamed.
Anon blushed as he scratched the back of his neck, "Ah, well... I figured I might as well get you something nice. You've been an absolute joy to spend time with." He bashfully replied.
Sunshine replied by using her magic to quickly levitate herself up to Anon's height and place a kiss on his cheek. It was short, and chaste, but the kiss instantly turned Anon's entire face as red as a tomato while Sunshine quickly landed back on her hooves. She glanced up at Anon's reddened face and giggled to herself as the human composed himself.
"S-so, I-uh... I take it you like it." Anon surmised, a goofy grin on his face.
"I love it. Thank you so much, Anon. I actually got you something too." Sunshine responded.
"Oh really?" Anon asked, tilting his head to the side.
Sunshine nodded, before her horn lit up, and a small faux leather box floated out from under her mane. Anon took the box from her magic and opened it, revealing a silver Polex watch. Anon's jaw dropped at the gift, before he slowly looked up to the unicorn positively beaming at him.
"Do you like it? I wasn't sure what size you are, but your wrist is a lot smaller than anypony's hooves I've ever seen so I just told them to make it as small as they could." Sunshine explained, excitedly.
Anon slipped the watch down onto his left wrist and tightened it until it was snug. The fit was nearly perfect, and he couldn't help the wide smile that broke out on his face.
"I can't believe this... Sunshine, this is amazing! Thank you so much! I've been meaning to get one of these for forever!" Anon exclaimed, before quickly dropping down to a knee and pulling Sunshine into another tight hug.
"I'm so glad you like it! I wasn't sure if it would be a good fit or if you'd care for the color or-" Sunshine prattled off, before Anon spoke up.
"It's perfect, Sunshine. I absolutely love it. Thank you so much." Anon said, before releasing the hug.
Sunshine breathed a tiny sigh of relief, "Thank Faust. I was worried that you wouldn't care for it and I'd have to get you something better for next time." She chuckled.
"We haven't even gone into the museum yet, and you're already thinking of next time? Heh, I must be doing something right, then." Anon laughed.
Sunshine blanched and bit her lip as she quickly hid behind her mane.
Horseapples! I did it again?! Oh Faust, Luna and Raven are going to kill me... Sunshine thought to herself.
After a moment, she reappeared from under her voluptuous mane and fixed Anon with a kind smile.
"Well I've just been having such a good time with you that it'd feel wrong to stop now." Sunshine replied.
Anon smiled even wider, "I'm glad to hear that. What do you say we head on inside? You sounded so excited about this place last time that you've got me all excited about it too." He suggested.
Sunshine nodded, before looking down at her gift and magicking it into her mane. She quickly tied some of her long hair around the box to keep it in place, and looked up to Anon.
"Ready." Sunshine beamed.
Anon smiled down at the smaller mare before the group headed toward the front door of the museum. They quickly arrived at the entrance, unmolested by the ponies walking about outside and exiting the building. Once there, Sunshine politely held the door open for Anon. He awkwardly accepted the gesture before heading inside, Javelin following in behind him.
Once they were all inside, Anon feasted his eyes on the many displays filling the entrance room. On one side of the room, ancient texts and depictions of early pony history littered the wall and floor, while several ponies observed and commented on the pieces. In the center, stood several skeletons all arranged into early pony bodies and posed in positions that helped to sell their primitive nature. On the other side of the room, sat a large display of early pony technology and science.
Anon found his attention being pulled in three different directions at once. He looked down to Sunshine for guidance, finding her beaming an energetic smile back up at him.
"I can tell you're interested in just about everything, so we can take our time. Here, why don't we start at the beginning? My favorite part." Sunshine offered, pointing to the skeletons in the center of the room. She quickly took the lead, trotting toward the display as Anon and Javelin caught up behind her.
"That sounds cool. I've always wondered what ponies looked like before you all got so... colorful... and stuff." Anon offered.
Sunshine giggled, "Well that's simple, silly. We always looked this colorful. Ponies have always been bright and vibrant. It's what made us stand out enough to find each other." She explained.
Anon pursed his lips, "But... wouldn't that make you a lot easier for predators to hunt down too? I mean... a bright pastel pony in the middle of an open field is a lot easier to spot than a dark green or brown one."
Sunshine shook her head, "You're right. A single pony would be easy to spot, but we ponies have always been herd animals. We never used to travel alone back in those days. Numbers were our strength." She elaborated.
Anon scratched the top of his head, "Well... I guess that makes more sense... but then again, we had animals back home that always traveled in herds, and predators still manage to hunt them down all the time. They just go for the slowest and weakest member of the herd." He shrugged.
The trio arrived at the display just as Sunshine turned her head to reply, "Well there is a pretty considerable difference between thinking, intelligent ponies and wild animals." She offered.
Anon tilted his head to the side, "Wait... I thought these were the early ponies... like, before you guys evolved to talk and everything?" He questioned.
Sunshine shook her head, "Nope. Ponies were always able to talk and communicate ever since we appeared on Equis."
"Hold on, what do you mean 'always'? Like... how is that even possible? And what evolution is this place even referring to if you were always an intelligent species?" Anon pressed, his brow furrowing in interest.
"Well for your first question, that's easy. Magic. As for your second question... yep, still magic." Sunshine grinned, pointing to the previously unseen fossil display just behind her.
Anon gave her a deadpan look.
"You wanna, uh... you know, clarify that a little bit?" He asked, unamused.
Sunshine playfully rolled her eyes, "Oh alright, mister serious pants. The story goes that a great being known only as 'Faust' created the spark of life that resulted in all living creatures born on our world. We don't have records or fossils of any pony race that lacked the ability to speak because our creator made us all with that ability from the very beginning. That is so much less fun to say than just 'magic'." She pouted.
Anon slowly nodded, "Alright, I can kinda get behind that a little more." He admitted.
Anon looked down at the table holding up the skeletons to find that there was indeed fossilized remains that looked exactly like a unicorn. He quickly read the plaque next to the fossil to discover that the remains were indeed from the very first unicorn to ever use magic.
"Woah... this is dated over two thousand years ago. How did they even know that this pony used magic?" Anon asked.
"The mana ley-lines on her horn. All fossils found that predate her didn't have spirals on their horns, and we've learned that the spirals are what directly channels our magic to the outside world from our minds. So the evolution you're looking for, is the evolution to use magic as we know it today." Sunshine clarified.
Anon let out a whistle, "Damn... that's cool. You should be my history teacher, Raven puts me to sleep with her monotone lecturing." He replied.
Sunshine snickered, "Oh be nice, Anon. I'm sure Raven's trying her absolute hardest to teach you what you need to know."
Anon sighed, "I'm sure she is... but damn does she make it hard to pay attention. I'm doing my best, especially since I don't want to let Celestia and Luna down." He replied.
Sunshine nodded, "That's a very kind way to look at it. I'm sure both of them truly appreciate you putting in your best effort." She smiled.
Anon shrugged, "I hope so... You know, now that you mention it, ever since you talked to them, they've been... super nice to me. Luna especially. At first I thought it was just that she felt guilty for being so mean to me from the start, but lately it's been... I don't know, a bit more than that? Like, last night she wanted to spend time with me and she did some super thoughtful things for me that I didn't think anyone would have done or even noticed. It was... really nice." He admitted, putting his hands in his pockets once more.
Sunshine smiled encouragingly, "Well who knows, maybe Luna and Celestia are starting to realize that you're more of a catch than they initially thought? Maybe you have the two most powerful ponies in Equestria pining for you and just don't see it yet." She said, offering a small shrug while maintaining her smile.
Anon chuckled, "Oh, I don't think it'll ever get that far. I've kinda decided that two mares is okay, but any more than that and I'm not sure I could keep up. Besides, even if they were interested, I've already found two mares that caught my eye." He answered.
"Me and Nightshade?" Sunshine asked, a small look of feigned surprise on her face.
"Y-yeah... it's not a problem if I like her, right? I don't want to assume that you'd be okay with that, but even Celestia said it was pretty normal." Anon replied, a slight bit of nerves in his speech.
Sunshine giggled, "Oh I've known about you and Nightshade since your first night with her. She's been quite vocal of her fondness for you." She explained.
Anon breathed a small sigh of relief, "Oh... so you're okay with that?" He asked.
Sunshine brought her hoof to her chin as she pondered his words. She dragged the moment on for several seconds, making Anon nervously sweat in anticipation, before she giggled once more.
"I don't think I can come up with a better pony to share you with than my sister." She beamed.
Author's Note
Alright ya'll, I know this chapter may not have been quite as exciting as the last one, but important things are happening here. The next chapter will be diving into history once more, although this time it's pony history! Let's try not to get political this time, huh? That'd be nice. I like my pony fanfiction to not have people arguing in the comments about politics lol.
All's Fair in Love and War
Chapter 21: Look What I Drew
Anon and Sunshine walked through the room of the museum dedicated to the founding of Equestria. Three distinct sections of the room were dedicated to each specific pony tribe and their early subcultures over the centuries. As the pair walked and talked their way over to the first display in the center of the room, Anon found his attention pulled to the depiction of an early Earth pony. The mare in the picture looked almost as colorful and adorable as any modern day pony, although there was a noticeable dullness in her green eyes, and a slight desaturation of her amber colors that looked out of place against such a colorful background.
"Huh... so this is... Smart Cookie?" Anon read from the display.
Sunshine nodded, "It sure is. She was one of the first ponies to embrace harmony and friendship, and free our lands from the windigos." She explained.
"Interesting... I remember Celestia telling me about her. She helped found Equestria, right?" Anon asked, looking down to Sunshine.
"Yes! That's exactly right!" Sunshine beamed.
"You know, she almost reminds me of some of the horses from back home. What with her coat colors and all. She looks a lot duller than modern ponies." Anon mentioned as he squinted slightly at the picture.
Sunshine's recoiled slightly, "Wait, what did you just call them?" She asked, a slight hint of offense in her tone.
Anon looked over to Sunshine curiously, "Horses?"
Sunshine nodded, "That's... what I thought you said... Anon, it's very rude to call ponies whorses ." She explained with the tone of a disapproving parent.
Anon scratched the side of his head, "Wait... what? Horses? I don't understand. That's just the name of the animal. How's that offensive?" He questioned.
Now it was Sunshine's turn to look at Anon in confusion, "You... wait, you're not insulting them? Calling them perverts that sleep with every stallion they can get?" She replied.
"No. Wait, are you saying that... oh my God." He chuckled, before doubling over in laughter.
Sunshine frowned, "Anon, I don't see what's so funny-" She looked around at the ponies in the museum as they started to stare at Anon's laughing fit, "-And could you please quiet down a little, you're starting to cause a scene."
Anon took a few moments before slowly ceasing his laughter. He let out a few more chuckles as he stood back up to his full height and looked down to Sunshine with a grin.
"Sorry about that, but that's just too rich. Sometimes I forget that this world has puns for just about everything from my world." He said.
"What are you talking about?" Sunshine questioned, now completely lost.
"Whorses. 'Cause you're all ponies, which are basically like little horses from back home. Where I come from, there are creatures like you guys, only they're way bigger and have way longer faces. Other than that and, well... you know, magic and shit, a horse from back home is just a big pony. Plus, what you're referring to as an insult, is almost exactly what we say for that kind of person. Only, instead of a 'whorse', it's just a 'whore'." Anon elaborated, shaking off the last of his mirth.
Sunshine stared at him for a few moments as she digested the information. Eventually, she slowly nodded.
"I... I see. Well that's news to me then, for certain. I'll have to assume that unless you say otherwise, you're not trying to be offensive when you say the word 'whorse'." Sunshine nodded.
Anon smiled, "Yeah, sorry about that. I can't believe I forgot to tell you about horses from back home. I only got to ride one once, but it was a lot of fun. My uncle had a ranch down in Texas with dozens of them." He offered.
A hot blush instantly ran up Sunshine's face, "You... rode one?" She questioned, her eyes widening slightly.
Anon stared at the now blushing unicorn for a moment before it clicked, "Oh! Oh god no! Not like that! No way! Ew! Gross! They're just animals, plus like, three times my size. It'd probably kill me." He hastily explained with a nervous chuckle.
Sunshine breathed a small sigh of relief, "Oh, I see. For a moment there I was very confused."
Anon nodded, "Yeah, sorry about that. Sometimes I just speak without thinking the sentence through all the way. When I say I 'rode' one, I mean that I just chilled on its back while it walked and galloped around the ranch. I think I was... maybe ten? It was a while ago." He clarified.
Sunshine nodded, "I see. I'm surprised the creature let you do that. Not too many creatures in Equestria would take kindly to that kind of treatment."
Anon shrugged, "Eh, well they were raised by my uncle, and he rides them pretty much every day for his job. Plus they're super friendly for the most part. Last time I was there I could just walk up to one and it'd let me pet it and feed it carrots. They like carrots."
"I see. So... you enjoyed riding these... horses ?" Sunshine questioned, her tail swishing ever so inconspicuously.
"Oh hell yeah. It was a ton of fun. I was a mechanic by trade, but there was just something about riding a horse that was so rewarding. It was like the animal trusted you to guide it in a certain direction safely, and as long as you did your part, the horse would get you there as fast as it could. It was like... there was an unspoken bond between the two of you. I dunno, it's kinda hard to explain, but it was definitely one of my favorite memories from back then." Anon explained, a fond smile of recollection on his face.
Sunshine's tail swished ever faster, "And... how exactly did you keep from falling off of these horses? Surely you didn't just... hold onto their manes?"
"Bareback? Not me, no. But there were some guys that did that down south. Nah, we used saddles and reins to guide the horse and keep us on the horse. A bridle too, but other than that, we didn't need anything else. There might be more that I'm missing since I only rode one time, but you get the picture." Anon responded.
Sunshine's face was flushed in red as her tail swished back and forth almost uncontrollably. She managed to shakily nod before turning to the display to hide her blush from Anon's eyes.
"S-so... assuming that there was a pony in Equestria that you could... ride like that... would you?" Sunshine asked, pawing at the floor as her nerves raged.
Anon held his chin with his hand as he thought over the question, "Well... I mean... that's a pretty specific question, but okay. I think the only pony big enough for me to even ride on without my legs just dragging on the floor is Celestia, and there's no way in hell she'd ever go for it. I mean... she'd probably banish me to the sun or something." He chuckled.
Sunshine took a deep breath before calming herself down and trying to hide her excitement. Once she was confident that she no longer looked like a tomato, she turned back around to face Anon and giggled, "You're right, that was a silly question. Plus I'm sure Celestia would take offense to that."
Anon laughed, "Oh you bet she would. Could you imagine that? And what if she did say yes? What if Luna walked in on us? Oh god, she'd lose it."
They both shared a laugh over the thought as Javelin walked up behind Anon and tapped his thigh.
"Oh hey, what's up, Jav?" Anon asked, stifling the rest of his laughter for the moment.
"We should probably keep going. You two are starting to hold up a line here." Javelin pointed out.
Anon looked back behind Javelin to find that a sizable line of ponies dragged on behind them down the hallway. He sheepishly chuckled as several of them looked at him expectantly, or pointed to the watches on their hooves.
Anon leaned down to Javelin, holding his hand just in front of his face as he whispered conspiratorially to the unicorn stallion, "Can't they just like... go around us?"
"Sir, they're part of a tour. It's done chronologically. This is their next stop." Javelin replied.
Anon paused for a few moments as the murmurs of discontent grew louder from the group, particularly the tour guide. Eventually, he quickly turned back to Sunshine, "Yeah, we should probably move. Let's get out of the way." He agreed.
"Here, I know what I want to show you next before we leave." Sunshine replied, turning tail and leading the way toward the opposite side of the room.
Anon and Javelin followed behind as Sunshine led them out of a pair of double doors and into a new exhibit in the center of the building. A massive , bubble shaped skylight in the center of the ceiling of the new room, poured volumptuous amounts of light over the displays on the floor. Anon looked on in fascination as he took in the entire room.
Unlike the previous wings of the museum, this particular wing was focused almost exclusively on artwork and paintings as opposed to historical science and pony societal development. The pieces littered the wall as well as being organized into a spiral in the center of the room. They all reflected a mosaic of color that made the room feel more like a kaleidoscope than an actual museum.
Sunshine giggled at Anon's jaw-dropping reaction before using her magic to grab his hand and pull him along after her.
"Come on! I have a few favorites that I want to show you." She cheerily explained as Anon shook off his shock and followed her, his hand still wrapped in her magical aura.
Sunshine practically pranced her way over to the first piece she wanted to show Anon, which happened to be a depiction of Celestia and Luna moving their celestial bodies for the first time, if the plaque next to the piece was anything to go off of.
"Huh? It almost looks like it was... drawn in crayon. I mean... it's really good, but who painted this?" Anon asked, looking at the plaque more closely.
"It was painted by an un-named pony who apparently only went by the initials of SS. I don't really know much else about the artist, but I do know that this was their first piece of art they ever made, and it won several awards at the time." Sunshine beamed, an ever so slight hint of a blush on her cheeks once more.
"Well damn, I can see why. This was made well over a thousand years ago and the pony who painted it did such a great job with the color and proportions. Every other piece before it looks like just a bunch of scribbles. It's almost like this was the first artist to actually get pony body proportions right. Not to mention, the color is just vivid as hell. Even after all these years, this looks really great. For a first piece ever, this is just downright awesome. I can see why you like it so much." Anon explained, nodding approvingly.
Sunshine bounced in place, "I'm so happy you like it! I'm really pr-pleased to hear that. It's also the first piece to ever be painted with acrylic paint too!" She smiled a slightly nervous smile.
Anon smirked, "You know, I didn't take you for the artsy type. I don't suppose you paint, yourself?" He inquired.
Sunshine smiled sheepishly, "Oh, maybe once upon a time... but I just haven't had the time in ages." She dismissively waved a hoof.
"Well if you've actually painted before, I'd love to see some of your work. Maybe next time we go out, you could show me some? If you made it, then it has to be beautiful." Anon replied with a warm smile.
Sunshine felt her ears burning as she giggled from the compliment, "Oh, t-thank you, Anon, but I'm not that good. My art looks like something a little filly painted compared to some of the pieces in here." She bashfully answered.
Anon shook his head, "I'll be the judge of that. For all I know, you could be the next Picasso." He asserted.
Sunshine tilted her head to the side, "Pi-casso?"
"Human reference. Nevermind," Anon dismissed, "Anyways, you said you had a few favorites you wanted to show me. Which one's next?"
Sunshine pointed to a piece toward the center of the spiral of art.
"This way." She replied, leading Anon and Javelin over to the display.
Quick enough, they arrived at a piece of art that stood out once again for its majestic use of color. In the center of the piece, a burning sunset that bathed the surrounding ocean in a swath of warm colors that gave the piece a very relaxed atmosphere. Lastly, there were no ponies or other living creatures in the painting, leaving only the deep blue sea to enjoy the fading warmth of the sun as it crept down the horizon. Anon placed his hands on his hips as he observed the artwork. He nodded quietly to himself as he took the art in, prompting a look of curiosity from Sunshine.
"What do you think? I really like the warmth of this one. It reminds me of when I was a filly and I used to watch the sun set every evening. That's why I like it so much." Sunshine explained.
"I really like the chill vibe this piece gives. Makes me want to go chill on a beach and just... relax. Maybe crack open a cold one with the boys... er, the boy, in this case." Anon explained, looking over to Javelin.
"I'm glad you like it. Would you believe that it was painted by Starswirl the Bearded?" Sunshine inquired.
Anon shook his head, "I don't even know who that is." He replied.
Sunshine pouted, "Starswirl was one of the most important sorcerers in pony history. He was a great friend and teacher... or so I've read." She explained.
Anon shrugged, "I guess Raven hasn't really got to that point in the lessons yet."
Sunshine sighed, "Well I hope that she does soon enough. He was a very important stallion. Anyway, I have one more piece I want to show you. It's my favorite." She nodded toward the center of the room.
Anon followed Sunshine's gaze until his eyes fell onto the piece of art in the middle of the spiral of artwork in the center floor. The art surrounding it was easily outshone by the elegance and grace of the single art piece taking center stage. Atop a tower of ivory and marble, two alicorns sat side by side, surrounded by their subjects on all sides. Above them, each celestial body hovered overhead, casting brilliant orange, yellow, white, and red light down onto the ponies below.
"Wow. That's... really gorgeous." Anon commented as he stepped up to the piece.
"It's always been my favorite one here," Sunshine replied, "Everypony just looks so happy and warm, and kind. It helps me remember that there is a lot of good in this world, even when I feel as if there's evil lurking around every corner." She explained.
Anon looked down to the display plate in front of the artwork. His eyes widened in shock upon reading the name written there.
"Hold on, this was painted by Luna ?" He asked, incredulously.
Sunshine giggled, "Yes, this piece was painted by her. It was painted exactly one year before her banishment. Her dream was to be loved as Celestia's equal... I always thought that was so beautiful. I'm glad that she's back and can finally live that dream." She smiled as she looked over the piece once more.
"It's... really well done. Like, damn. I had no idea Luna could paint so well. I guess I'll have to ask her about that later." Anon nodded.
"Luna actually used to be quite the painter... from what I've heard." Sunshine replied.
Anon smiled, "Maybe I can get her to paint me something," He said, before looking around the room once more, "This has been really fun, Sunshine. Thanks for suggesting this place." He smiled.
"I'm glad you like it. I've had a really fun time showing you all of this. This museum is one of my favorite places to visit when I have the time." Sunshine beamed.
"I can see why. It's a neat little place. I think I learned more about history from this place than I did from Raven, that's for sure." Anon laughed.
Sunshine snickered as she tried to keep from laughing. Eventually Anon's infectious laughter won out and she laughed along with him, prompting Javelin to roll his eyes at the pair.
After a few moments, they both collected themselves and turned their attention back to the world around them.
"Well, it's been fun. How's about we go get something to eat? Don't know about you, but I'm getting kinda hungry." Anon suggested.
"That sounds great. I'm afraid... that I will have to be leaving soon afterwards though. I really wish I could stay longer, but I have a lot of work I need to do today that if I don't start on it soon, I'm going to be really behind for tomorrow." Sunshine replied.
"That's fine. I think I saw a little hotdog stand somewhere on the way in. We can just grab a quick bite before you have to go." Anon offered.
"Anon, that was a hay dog stand. I don't think you'd like fried hay very much." Javelin chimed in.
Anon deflated immediately , "Hay dogs? What in God's name made you ponies decide to deep fry hay?" He questioned.
"It tastes good. Come on, now I kind of want something greasy." Sunshine smiled as she trotted ahead of Anon, gently swatting his backside with her tail as she passed him.
Anon immediately blushed as he watched Sunshine continue on. He heard a slight snicker from beside him, and quickly looked over to see Javelin trying to appear as neutral as always while on duty. Anon squinted at the guard pony for a moment before trailing after Sunshine toward the haydog stand.
The group quickly arrived at the stand near the entrance of the museum and got in line. There was only one pony in front of them, so the line quickly disappeared and they were able to order.
"One hay dog with extra ketchup and pickles, please." Sunshine ordered with a smile.
"Coming right up. Anything for you, sir?" The stand owner asked as he looked to Anon.
"Nothing for me. I can't eat hay." Anon explained as he pulled out a few bits to pay for the food.
"Anon, please, I've got this. You don't have to buy me anything. You already got me such a nice gift." Sunshine protested, pulling out some bits from her small purse that somehow fit under her mane.
Anon sighed, "Are you sure? It's not a problem." He replied, shaking his bits in his hand.
"Thank you very much, Anon, but I've got this. Thank you." Sunshine replied, smiling gratefully before turning back to the haydog stand.
The stand owner simply nodded and took Sunshine's bits before whipping up the haydog. Within a minute, the group was walking out of the museum, haydog in Sunshine's magical aura as she munched happily on her snack.
"Welp, this was a lot of fun. I hope you had at least half as good a time as I did." Anon smirked.
"Oh absolutely! Today was amazing! Just what I needed after a long week." Sunshine beamed, before finishing off her food.
"So... are you doing anything next weekend?" Anon asked, placing his hands in his pockets.
Sunshine shook her head, "Most likely, yes. My heat's supposed to come in sometime this week and I try to keep myself busy so I'm not tempted by every stallion that walks past me." She explained.
A single moment of silence passed between the two of them as Sunshine realized exactly what she said. Her face quickly turned red once more as her eyes widened considerably. Anon awkwardly coughed before clearing his throat.
"W-well, alright then. I, uh... I guess that does make a lot of sense. From what Jav told me, estrus can be a pretty tough time for the mares." Anon responded.
Sunshine nodded quickly and hid behind her mane.
"I, uh... I suppose we should go our separate ways for now. Perhaps we can discuss our next date after heat season is over." Sunshine sheepishly replied.
Anon smiled, "Of course. But, uh... how are we gonna plan it? I don't know when I'll see you again and I don't think you ever gave me your address." He pointed out.
Sunshine bit her lip, "W-well... it's a long story. I don't really have a technical... address... but I know where to find you. Don't worry, I'll come to you once estrus is over." She explained, finally brushing her mane out of her face.
Anon's brow furrowed, "You don't have an address? What do you mean? Sunshine, you can tell me. I think we're at least close enough to where you don't need to keep things like that from me." He said as he squatted down to be at eye level with her.
Anon offered a friendly smile, while his eyes conveyed a compassionate look that sent Sunshine's heart aflutter. She simply stared back at Anon for a moment before finding her voice.
"L-like I said... it's a really long story. B-but don't worry though! I'm not in any danger of not having a home or anything, and I certainly would like to spend more time with you there... but it's just... not ready." Sunshine elaborated, feeling her chest tighten as she continued to speak.
Anon chuckled, "Not ready? That sounds like you've got something planned. Alright, alright. I won't pry if you don't want to talk about it. Just know that now you've got me excited to see your place. The castle is nice and everything, but it's so big and always full of ponies. Almost makes me miss that estate Celestia gave me before I got swept into being her and Luna's consort."
Sunshine let out a tiny breath of relief, "I understand completely. There are quite a few moments where I find myself wanting some peace and quiet in my busy life." She replied.
"Well, if you want, you're always welcome to come to the castle and chill out with me on the weekends. Same goes for Nightshade. If I'm not on a date with one of you, then I'm just sitting around waiting for Raven to yell at me for being lazy. Actually, speaking of Nightshade, I didn't get a chance to ask her out for another date last time. Do you think you could pass a message along?" Anon asked, a small smile on his face.
Sunshine let out another little giggle, "Don't worry, Anon. I'll be sure to run it by Nightshade and see what we can do. I'm certain she'd be thrilled to go out with you again as well." She smiled.
Anon smiled brightly and nodded, "Thank you." He replied, before turning to Javelin, "You ready to head back?" He asked.
Javelin nodded, "Ready whenever you are."
Anon returned the nod before turning back to Sunshine, "Welp, I had an absolute blast today, Sunshine. I can't wait to see you again."
"I can't wait either... thank you, Anon." Sunshine replied, her cheeks quickly heating up once more as she pawed at the ground with one hoof.
Anon smiled for a few moments, but upon seeing Sunshine's contemplative look and body language, he bent down slightly, "Are you alright, Sunny?" He asked.
Sunshine's ears flicked straight toward Anon as her blush deepened even further and she closed her eyes in embarrassment. She didn't respond to his words with words of her own, rather she quickly lunged forward, wrapping her hooves around his neck as she pressed her lips against his. The soft contact took Anon by surprise, nearly making him fall over, but he quickly regained his balance and returned the gentle kiss.
Just as quickly as it happened, it was over, and Sunshine pulled away with a nervous smile on her face, and her heart nearly beating out of her chest.
"I'll find you once estrus is over, Anon. Thank you." Sunshine said, before turning around and heading off.
Anon was still too stunned by the sudden kiss to respond. He simply gave a goofy grin and waved as Sunshine trotted off away from him, the brush box held in her magical grasp.
"Well, I'd say it is now safe to say that she likes you more than just a friend." Javelin smirked from Anon's side.
"And I couldn't be happier." Anon dopily responded.
As the duo headed back toward the castle, a lone pair of eyes watched from afar.
"Got you now, you bastard."
Author's Note
Now who could that be?
All's Fair in Love and War
As Anon and Javelin made their way back toward the castle, the former walked with a definitive bounce in his step, and a gleeful smile still plastered on his face. Javelin eyed him with a smirk before playfully rolling his eyes and slugging him in the thigh.
"You keep smiling like that, and your face is bound to stay that way." The stallion chuckled.
"I know, I just can't stop smiling. She kissed me, dude! Sunshine actually kissed me! I can't believe it! This is the best day I've had in a long time." Anon beamed.
"I'm happy for you. Sounds like she's really serious too. She's even skipping estrus with you, that's how you know she wants it to be special." Javelin replied, knowingly.
"What do you mean?" Anon inquired.
"Bro, she's choosing to spend estrus away from you so that she doesn't just jump your bones when she's in heat. Mares only do that when they want their first time with you to be special, not some lust-driven sex frenzy that they barely remember afterwards." Javelin explained.
"Really?" Anon looked surprised.
"Yeah, dude. Trust me, the last mare I was with did that. It's pretty well known." Javelin shrugged.
Anon paused in his step, allowing Javelin to walk a few more feet ahead before stopping as well.
"Uh, you alright?" Javelin asked, looking up to Anon quizzically.
Anon slowly nodded his head, "Y-yeah... I just got to thinking... Hey, can I ask you a totally not gay question?"
Javelin cautiously raised one eyebrow, "What?"
"Well you got me thinking... and I need to ask you a question that's kinda sorta gay, but not really since it's for a good cause." Anon explained.
Javelin simply held the same expression, "What question exactly are you asking, here?" He asked, suspiciously.
"Well... about how long are... well, you know... for a normal stallion... about how long is the, uh... you know, the thing?" Anon managed, gesticulating wildly with his hands while also averting his gaze from the stallion standing in front of him.
Javelin looked at Anon as if he was suddenly speaking a different language, "What? What thing?"
Anon bit his lip, "You know... your bits. Are they like...." Anon held his hands about six inches apart, "-this-ish long?" He asked.
Javelin's jaw dropped slightly, "Are you asking for the length of the average stallion's... package?" He responded, slowly.
Anon sheepishly scratched the back of his neck, "Well... kinda... yes?" He replied.
"And why in Equestria do you want to know that all of a sudden?" Javelin questioned.
Anon sighed heavily, "Come on, dude. You know why. Stop making this even harder to ask than it already is."
Javelin shook his head, "Anon, if you're worried about being able to please a mare-" He began, before Anon cut him off.
"I know what to do, dammit! Just give me a ballpark here. Human pussy is a hell of a lot different than pony pussy, so what's big for a human girl might not be much for a mare, or hell, it could even be the other way around. I don't know, I didn't get any anatomy lessons yet." Anon exclaimed, some clear frustration boiling over in his voice.
Javelin held up his forelegs placatingly, "Alright, alright, calm down. I was just busting your balls a bit. It's about how you had your hands spaced out before. You were in the ballpark." He chuckled.
Anon breathed a deep sigh of relief, "Oh thank god. Don't do that to me man. I actually really care about Sunshine and Nightshade. I want to make sure that if and when that time comes, they're not gonna be like 'oh my god! what is that!?', you know?"
Javelin snickered, "I'm sensing some insecurities coming out all of a sudden."
Anon frowned, "Of course I have insecurities! Bro I don't know what I'm competing against here! The horses back home had like, a minimum of three feet of dick. I didn't know if that was going to be the norm here too!" He exclaimed, "And before you even ask, no, I did not go and look for the sake of looking. When there's over a dozen of them on the farm you're at for a week straight, you're gonna see something eventually."
Javelin tilted his head to the side, "Three feet? How big is that?"
Anon held his hands about a yard apart, "It's like, this big."
Javelin's eyes widened some as he recoiled back slightly, "Celestia, that's like, five hooves! I can't even imagine all that. It sounds like it'd just get in the way." He replied.
"Exactly! I just wanted to be sure that I wasn't going to have to compete against that . Thank you for making it as weird as you could." Anon crossed his arms with a huff.
Javelin sighed dramatically, "Oh, alright, alright. I see that I've pushed you too far. Sounds like there's only one way for me to make it up to you." He explained, a playful smirk quickly appearing on his muzzle.
"You're buying tonight." Anon declared.
"Aye, fair enough. I shalt pay this penance, post haste." Javelin laughed.
Anon tried and failed to suppress a snicker before laughing alongside the guardspony, "Where do you wanna head to tonight, you dick."
Javelin chuckled, "I heard that trailblazers was gonna be doing a two for one special tonight. We can head down there again." He offered.
"Sounds good to me. Let's just actually go check in with Luna and Celestia first this time. Now that I'm on their good side, I'd rather stay there." Anon replied, starting toward the castle once more.
"Eh, to be honest, they like you so much now, that you could probably get away with it, if you really wanted to." Javelin shrugged as he walked alongside Anon.
Anon looked down at Javelin and raised an eyebrow, "You know, you're a terrible influence on me. Aren't you supposed to be my babysitter? Making sure I do the right thing and all? Yet here you are telling me to do the opposite." He teased.
"I was merely testing you. Congrats, you passed. Let's go drink to celebrate." Javelin grinned.
Anon rolled his eyes as the duo continued on toward the castle, sharing another laugh along the way.
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Later That Night
Anon and Javelin walked and talked their way down the road to the bar as the last of the sun's light faded from view. The latter noticeably missing his armor and helmet. They both walked with a happy bounce in their step as they passed through the emptying streets of Canterlot's middle district.
"Well Luna was more okay with that than I was expecting her to be. Especially since Dusk and Echo weren't awake yet. Not sure where Celestia was though." Anon offhandedly mentioned as he passed by a stand, the owner quickly packing her belongings to head home for the evening.
"Eh, she's probably had a long day. You know how her schedule gets. Plus Dusk and Echo will be up in about an hour. I guess she just figured we wouldn't be able to get into that much trouble before they got to the bar. Why wouldn't Luna be okay with you going out with your best pal though? You've been on your best behavior lately." Javelin teased.
"I mean, I think I've been pretty good, all things considered. Still though, I feel like I've gone out every single chance I've had to get shitfaced, and I feel like... well, I dunno. Maybe Celestia and Luna should come with us just to chill or something? I mean, I feel like they definitely work hard enough." Anon suggested, offering a small shrug.
Javelin raised an eyebrow, "Yeah, well the only problem with that plan is that you're going to have ponies all up and down the whole district scrambling over each other to come see the princesses get drunk at a bar with you. Can't see how that might sour the mood just a tad, or maybe their reputations too." He rebutted.
Anon sighed, "I know, I know. It's just... well I've been spending so much time with Sunshine and Nightshade lately... and I can't help but feel like Celestia and Luna are getting a bit... I don't know, jealous? If that's even possible." He replied.
Javelin's eyebrow remained raised, "Celestia and Luna. The royal princesses of Equestria and most powerful beings in our history. Alicorns who are already in a relationship, are jealous ? Of you and your marefriends that you've known for a few weeks?" He surmised, with copious amounts of sass.
Anon gave Javelin a deadpan expression, "Okay, first of all, fuck off. Secondly, I don't fucking know, dude. I mean, they've been wanting to spend actual time with me lately. Like, a lot. And they've been way more affectionate with me too. Plus you've seen how weird Celestia gets whenever I mention Sunshine." He reasoned.
Javelin's eyebrow finally sunk back down to its normal level as he pursed his lips in thought, "You know what, that is a fair point... but that doesn't mean she's jealous. I mean, Sunshine is basically her great great great step granddaughter. Maybe she's just a bit weirded out by the fact that she picked you for this arrangement, and then you go and hook up with her relative." He suggested, offering the slightest of shrugs.
Anon shook his head, "I don't know. Maybe? Those last few 'dates' felt pretty damn close to real though. Especially the one with Luna. She let me hug her and she even snuggled up onto my lap and let me rub my cheek against her mane. Good god it was so soft. I want to hug her again so fuckin' bad." He grumbled.
"Wait, wait, wait. Hold on," Javelin waved his hooves around frantically as he sat on his haunches, "Luna let you hug her and nuzzle your face against her mane?" He asked, incredulously.
Anon nodded, "Yeah. Why?"
Javelin's jaw dropped, "Bro... I think you might actually be right about Luna, then."
Anon did a double take, "What? Why are you so sure of that all of a sudden?" He questioned.
"Dude, Luna hasn't let a stallion touch her in centuries. Even before her banishment, she was almost exclusively into mares. There's only two stallions ever recorded to be her mates. So for her to let you get that up close and personal... she might just be changing her mind about you." Javelin explained.
Anon pursed his lips as Javelin got back to his hooves and the pair resumed walking, "I don't know man... Are you sure? She told me where to not touch her, like her wings, horn, and chest. I feel like she wanted to keep some boundaries." He offered.
Javelin rolled his eyes, "Bro, did Sunshine or Nightshade just throw themselves at you the first time you met them?" Anon shook his head, "Well there you go. Just because she's interested, doesn't mean she's going to just throw herself at you the first chance she gets. Especially since she's known pretty much all over Equestria as a lesbian."
Anon rolled his tongue in his mouth, "I... guess you've got a point. I'm not so sure man. Even if Luna did suddenly have feelings for me, her and Nightshade don't exactly have the best relationship, at least, that's what Nightshade told me. Plus, I don't think I could deal with three mares at the same time. I'm already struggling to deal with just the idea of two. Speaking of which, I still need to get Nightshade a present. We didn't have time to do that earlier." He replied.
"We'll get Nightshade something tomorrow. Don't worry about it. What's wrong with dating two mares though? That's actually a manageable amount to deal with." Javelin shrugged.
Anon sighed, "Well, it's just not really... normal for humans. We're pretty much entirely a monogamous species. Choosing to date two different girls at the same time just sounds so... alien to me." He admitted.
"Well you've been handling it exceptionally well, if the date with Sunshine today was anything to go off of." Javelin offered.
Anon chuckled, "Yeah, that was a great date. Well thanks, bud. Still though, it feels strange. Almost like I'm not supposed to be seeing Nightshade while I'm seeing Sunshine, and vice versa." He elaborated.
Javelin pursed his lips in thought, "Well... I guess that does make sense. Some ponies like to keep their relationships to just two, but not really for that reason. It's more of a... 'we can only support each other right now, not an entire herd' kind of deal." He replied.
Anon shrugged, "I get that. Still just getting used to the idea, I guess. I mean... it kinda is a bit of a fantasy for me. Having two adorably gorgeous girls that I can call my girlfriends, but it always seemed so selfish at the same time. Like, I don't want another stallion in our little group, so how is that fair to the girls?" He contemplated, looking up only to see the bar quickly approaching.
"Ponies don't look at it like that at all. Mares usually end up joining a herd by finding another mare that's already with a stallion." Javelin shook his head.
"They just go looking for a relationship to join?" Anon inquired as he and Javelin reached the front door of the bar.
"Yeah. It's a bit of a process to explain. I'll tell you when we've got drinks to keep us company." Javelin smirked.
Anon half rolled his eyes as he followed the stallion in. Once inside, the hostess quickly seated them at the bar, where the bartender swiftly served them a shot of Spirit each, upon request .
"Damn, this place is fast as hell tonight." Anon mentioned as he downed his drink.
"Yeah, no kidding. Even last time when we were here and it was just the two of us and Sunshine, they weren't this fast." Javelin replied, before also downing his drink.
The bartender instantly noticed the now empty shots and approached the pair.
"Can I get you colts anything else?" She asked, a friendly smile on her face.
"Yeah, can I open a tab for more of these?" Anon asked, holding up the shot glass.
"You certainly can, sir. I'll get you two more." She cheerily answered, before magicking over the bottle and two more shot glasses.
Javelin eyed the drinks as they were placed in front of him and Anon, warily. He slowly looked over to Anon with a small chuckle.
"If I remember right, I was supposed to buy you drinks tonight." He said.
Anon laughed, "True, you do owe me drinks, but to be honest, I kinda owe you too." He admitted, picking up his shot in his hand.
Javelin looked to Anon curiously, "What are you talking about?"
"Just... for being my friend. Pretty sure I would've lost my mind if you hadn't shown up in my life when you did, basically forcing me to go out day drinking with you." Anon smirked.
Javelin looked down to his drink, and then back up to Anon. He hesitated for a moment before picking up his drink with his magic and clinking the glass against Anon's.
"Just because we're friends doesn't mean you get to go all sappy on me." He replied, offering a smirk.
Anon chuckled, "Had to get it out. Just this one and then I'm done."
They shared a laugh before downing their drinks and returning their attention to the conversation at hand.
"For real though, thanks, Anon. That really does mean a lot to me." Javelin offered a sincere smile.
Anon wrapped his arm around Javelin and pulled him into a one armed hug, "Anytime, bud."
Once they separated and returned their attention to the incoming drinks, the conversation quickly turned to a drinking competition.
"That's five. Bet you can't get ten of these down." Anon challenged after finishing his fifth shot.
"Honestly, maybe. I'll bet you can't drink fifteen." Javelin returned, a cocky smirk on his face.
Anon paled slightly, "W-well... I mean... fifteen is a little much, don'tcha think?" He asked, much to Javelin's amusement.
While they were focused on their drinks and challenge, the pair did not notice the group of stallions as they entered the bar behind them. The leader of the group quickly walked up behind Anon and cleared his throat to get the man's attention. It didn't work. He tried again, slightly louder this time, but yet again, Anon simply didn't hear or just ignored the stallion behind him.
"Oh for the love of-" The stallion muttered, before using his magic to forcefully spin Anon's stool around, startling the man into almost falling off of his chair in the process.
"Whoa, what the fuck!?" Anon exclaimed as he fought to regain his balance.
"What gives?" Javelin asked as he turned around on his stool as well.
Standing before them, was a group of ten stallions, each with stylishly done manes and tails. They weren't wearing any clothing, but their appearance and posture easily identified them as Canterlot nobles. Standing at the front of the group, was a butterscotch stallion with a finely trimmed mustache, and a rust colored mane.
"You look kinda familiar." Anon mentioned as he looked the leader over.
"That is because I am the reason a barbarian like you is being allowed to run amuck in our great city and claim to be the royal consort. A position and title that you have absolutely no business presiding over." The stallion seethed.
Anon stared down at the clearly angry pony for a few moments as he thought over his words. After nearly a minute of silence, and several awkward glances among the crowd of stallions, Anon snapped his fingers.
"Comet Ray! That's who you are! I remember now." Anon exclaimed, clearly proud of himself for remembering a name.
"It's Comet Star !" The stallion growled through grit teeth.
"Eh, close enough. Why're you here?" Anon asked, shrugging.
"I- Are you serious? First you steal a stallion's rightful wives, and then you have the audacity to not even remember them!" Comet Star shouted.
"Rightful wives? What are you talking about? Celestia could have chosen any one of the stallions in that room." Anon replied.
"She was going to choose me! By all rights, I was the only logical choice for her in the first place. I specifically chose the stallions present for that very reason." Comet Star replied, stomping his hoof onto the ground for emphasis.
Anon and Javelin shared a look, "You... you do realize that you're basically admitting to trying to trap Celestia into picking you... right?" Anon asked, noticing Javelin's horn quietly ignite in a very dull blue light, almost imperceptibly.
"It doesn't matter. Once we're through with you, you won't be able to tell anypony anyways," Comet Star bitterly asserted, before turning to his posse behind him, "Get them both."
Just as the first stallion stepped forward, Javelin jumped down from his stool, the spell he'd been quietly casting the whole time, now glowing white hot as the ethereal bolts of energy appeared behind him. Without a word, he fired a bolt forward, knocking the first stallion off of his hooves and sailing across the bar, where he crashed into one of the tables on the other side of the room.
The group watched their comrade sail through the air in shock, only to visibly cringe as he broke the table upon landing. Any bystanders in the room immediately fled, leaving the group of nobles, Anon, and Javelin alone.
Javelin fired another bolt of energy before the group could return their attention to him, sending another stallion flying across the bar and into the wall. Just as he fired another shot, the stallion in front of him magicked a shield to block his attack. The wall of magenta energy stopped the bolt in its tracks, although several visible cracks appeared on the surface.
Javelin went to fire another shot, but found his attack interrupted by an Earth pony noble as he charged into the guard, slamming his wither into Javelin's chest. The unicorn guard was quite easily knocked back several feet, but managed to stay on his hooves as the breath was forced from his lungs. Before Javelin could react and counter the much stronger Earth pony's second charge, Anon grabbed a mug from the bar and slammed it over the charging stallion's head, knocking him unconscious, instantly.
Anon quickly vaulted over the bar before one of the other stallions could grab him and grabbed the first thing he could find, which just happened to be a spray nozzle connected to a soda dispenser. As a pegasus stallion flew over the bar to tackle him, Anon sprayed the carbonated sugar right into the pony's eyes, blinding him.
"My eyes !" The stallion cried, before flying right past Anon and into the wall behind the bar, knocking himself out cold.
Anon looked at the unconscious pegasus and shrugged before returning his attention to the remaining six ponies. They returned a look of fury and gnashing teeth at both Anon and Javelin as the stallion guard charged up more bolts of energy.
"Boys," Comet Star muttered through grit teeth, "Get them."
Instantly, the other five ponies charged the man and guard. Anon and Javelin both responded by firing a volley of energy and carbonated soda at the quickly approaching stallions. A wall of golden magic blocked all of their attacks, prompting both Anon and Javelin to frown in agitation at Golden Star as his horn glowed from the back of the group.
"Hey, that's cheating!' Anon cried out as one of the stallion's leapt over the counter and tackled him into the wall.
Javelin frantically looked over to his friend as the man was knocked back into the wooden wall with a loud *thud*.
"Anon!" He cried, before deftly ducking under the hooves of the first stallion approaching him.
Javelin swiftly lunged under the stallion, while kicking his hind legs out and connecting with the pony's jaw as he looked down at him. The stallion instantly lost his balance and tripped over his forelegs, toppling over himself not a moment later. Next, Javelin's horn flashed a brilliant and bright white light, blinding the three stallions in front of him.
In the moment that they were distracted, Javelin charged three more bolts of energy, blowing away all three stallions in front of him with ease. Now sweating heavily, Javelin turned to the bar and moved to leap over the counter to the sounds of Anon struggling with the other pony, however just as he jumped into the air, a magic ceiling appeared over his head, halting his progress instantly as he slammed his head into the forcefield.
Javelin fell to the floor with a grunt of pain, before turning his attention to Comet Star. He charged his horn to fire another bolt of magic, but just before he could complete the spell, a hoof savagely beat the back of his head, stunning him for a moment and making his vision fuzzy. As Javelin stumbled from the surprise attack, the stallion stepped up alongside him and prepared to buck him right into the wall to his right.
Javelin saw the attack coming, and ducked to the floor just as the stallion kicked his hindlegs out. While he was on the floor, Javelin rolled onto his back and punched the stallion in the gut with his foreleg. The stallion collapsed from the strain right on top of Javelin, only for the guardstallion to teleport himself to a standing position right next to the Earth pony.
Now sweating and panting profusely, Javelin turned and kicked one hindleg out, knocking the stallion out with ease. With that finally taken care of, Javelin returned his attention to Comet Star, only to receive a hoof straight to the face. Javelin was knocked off of his hooves and to the floor, his world spinning, and ears ringing as he tried, in vain, to get back up to his hooves. He managed to slowly look up to see Comet Star smirk as he walked over to the bar, his horn already glowing with malicious intent.
"A...non." Javelin groaned, his vision returning slowly, although the ringing in his ears dulled even slower.
A moment passed with only the dull ringing as the guard struggled to get to his hooves, his sense of duty and friendship urging him on when his body was struggling just to stand. Only once he was finally standing again, and able to look up to the counter of the bar, did he see a sight that made his jaw drop.
Comet Star and his accomplice were both unconscious, their bodies laid out on the counter as Anon stood, proudly holding a heavily dented frying pan in one hand.
"Nobody saves this damsel, except me." He announced, stoically.
Before Javelin could laugh at the absurdity of the situation, the sounds of hooves galloping into the restaurant finally overpowered the ringing in his ears. Both man and unicorn looked to the doorway as a dozen more stallions rushed into the room, all of them looking much like the nobles they'd just dispatched.
Anon and Javelin shared a quick look.
"Looks like they got reinforcements." Anon surmised, gripping his frying pan tighter.
"Good. I need to take some anger out." Javelin replied, his horn glowing white hot once more.
The stallions charged, while Anon and Javelin did the same.
Author's Note
Okay, I'll be honest, this has got to be one of the silliest and most entertaining chapters I've written. I hope you guys enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.
All's Fair in Love and War
Chapter 23: Legal Repercussions
Luna strolled casually through the castle, her eyes looking up to the moon she only just lifted into the starry night sky. As she walked along the empty castle hallway, several bushels of lavender held in her magical aura, she hummed a pleasant tune to herself. One by one she replaced the old lavender with the new, a soft smile on her face as she quietly worked. Once she was finished with her first task of the night, she turned her attention to the moon once more, a giddy feeling welling up in her chest as she did so.
I wonder if Anon is looking up at my moon right now. She thought to herself, her wings fluttering in excitement.
The lunar alicorn quickly returned to her duties, and left the hallway for her own bedroom. She walked through the empty halls, only finding a pair of thestral guards every several minutes as she progressed toward the other side of the castle. Once she reached her designated hallway, she was greeted by Dusk and Echo standing guard outside her door.
"Princess. We're awaiting orders." Dusk curtly greeted, with a salute.
Luna nodded, "Yes, thank you, Dusk. I can always count on you two to be ready before even I am," She chuckled, before clearing her throat, "Nothing serious for tonight. I just need you both to safeguard Anon and Sergeant Javelin once more. They'll be down at Trailblazers." She explained.
"Are they already down there, Princess?" Echo asked, almost imperceptibly tilting his head to the side.
"They should be. They both left well over an hour ago. Unless they deviated and went elsewhere, although I rather doubt that. Anon doesn't seem the type to lie to my face about his whereabouts." Luna replied.
Echo and Dusk both nodded once more, before Dusk spoke up, "Understood, Princess. We'll be down there within the next few minutes. If we don't find him there, we'll report back immediately."
Luna nodded, "Thank you, Dusk. And you as well, Echo. I know that this is far simpler than your usual tasks, but I do believe Anon deserves to at least have adequate protection. Who knows what kind of trouble he can get himself into, unsupervised."
"To be honest, we're enjoying the relaxing work." Echo smirked.
Luna laughed, "I'm sure you both are. Now, you should both be going. I'll look forward to your return."
Dusk and Echo both nodded once, then gave a quick salute, before walking off out of sight. Luna watched them go, a thankful smile on her face, as she turned back toward her own bedroom door. She took a step toward it, before pausing and looking over to her sister's bedroom door. Candlelight spilled out from under the frame, indicating that the solar princess was still very much awake.
Luna quickly decided to knock on her sister's door and await a response. Within a few moments, the door opened a crack, and a magenta eye peered back at her.
"Yes?" Celestia asked.
"Tia? Why are you hiding behind your door?" Luna asked, perplexed.
"No reason. Why are you knocking at this late hour?" Celestia replied, still keeping the door opened just a crack.
Luna gave her a deadpan look, "Sister, I always stop by when I have a moment of free time in the evening. Why are you acting so strange?"
"No reason." Celestia answered.
Luna frowned, "Tia. Open the door." She ordered.
"No."
"Tia."
"No."
"You do realize that I can just teleport inside, right?" Luna deadpanned.
Celestia looked at Luna, and then the floor, "Not if I cast an anti-teleportation ward."
Luna raised an eyebrow, "Firstly, that still wouldn't stop me. Secondly, what in Tartarus has gotten into you? You're acting like a complete filly." She demanded.
"Nothing. I am just... in the middle of something." Celestia responded.
"Sister." Luna growled, "Open this door right this instant, or I swear I will break it down."
Celestia's eye widened in the doorway, "Now, Luna, there's no need for-"
Luna teleported into the room, behind her, cutting Celestia off as her sister disappeared in a flash before her eyes.
"There. Now, what the hay has you acting so... strange..." Luna trailed off, now seeing the rest of her sister for the first time.
Celestia's mane, usually flowing majestically along with an invisible wind, now flowed beautifully down her neck and withers. Little spirals of each color twirled off of her head and ran down her neck, complementing the long, waving nature of her hair. Celestia's multi-colored mane now cascaded down onto her back like a winding river, each color streaking down, unimpeded by any of the other colors.
Celestia's tail also received the same treatment, making Luna's eyes squint in disbelief. Unlike before, her tail was filled with swirls and curls of each of the different colors that made up her hair. Very noticeably, a bow tied around Celestia's dock, hiked her tail up just enough to truly accentuate the curvature of the appendage and how each color blended into the next one like a rainbow.
Luna stared at her sister, speechless for several seconds while the solar alicorn slowly closed the door and turned to face her, a sheepish smile on her face as she awkwardly chuckled.
"Uh, hehe... You, uh... weren't supposed to see this until later, Lulu." Celestia explained.
"Tia... how in Tartarus did you do that with your mane and tail? It looks absolutely stunning." Luna praised, her cheeks darkening just slightly as she eyed her sister's dock once more.
"W-well, it was a gift from Anon, actually... Well, not really a gift for me, but a gift for Sunshine... still, it would be a waste to not use it, would it not?" Celestia asked, rubbing the back of her neck.
"Anon did this for you?" Luna tilted her head to the side.
"Well," Celestia began, while using her magic to levitate the brush over, "Anon did buy this for Sunshine. I... may have been wanting one for quite some time, but could never justify the expense... at least, until Anon was looking for a gift for Sunshine." She explained, sitting on her haunches and tapping her hooves together.
Luna looked at her skeptically, "Just how much does this brush cost?" She asked.
"It's... about two thousand bits." Celestia admitted, sheepishly.
Luna's eyes widened and she inhaled sharply through her teeth, "Yes, I suppose I can see how it wouldn't fit the treasure's budget."
Celestia nodded, "Which is why when Anon asked for advice on a gift to get for Sunshine... I... well, I suppose I saw an opportunity that was too good to pass up."
"I see. Well speaking of Sunshine, I didn't see you at dinner this evening. I assume you were back here since Anon was there, so how was today's date?" Luna asked, sitting on Celestia's bed.
Celestia positively beamed, "Oh my Faust, Luna it was amazing! We went to the Mueller Art Museum and I got to show him all kinds of amazing historical pieces. I even showed him our artwork that's still there after all this time." She excitedly explained.
Luna smiled, "That is wonderful to hear. I am not surprised that Anon is so interested in history. He told me much of his own people's history the other night. Did you know that his kind actually left their planet and landed on the moon?" She asked, matching Celestia's excitement.
"Really?" Celestia's eyes widened in surprise.
"Indeed. I found it hard to believe, myself. However, he assured me many times that he was being honest. At first he was simply teasing me, but soon enough, he explained the process. Perhaps we should have some of your scientists look into the science of a 'rocket ship'." Luna replied with a small shrug.
Celestia tilted her head to the side, "What in the world is a rocket ship?"
"I have no idea. Still, Anon was certain that his people reached their moon in one. I imagine we could do the same, but for planets far further into space." Luna answered, with a shrug.
"Fascinating. There seems to be a limitless amount of information we could learn from Anon's people." Celestia surmised with a nod.
For a few moments, the conversation dropped between the two sisters, although Luna's eyes quickly drifted up to the brush still held in Celestia's magical grasp. She eyed the tool with reserved interest while her tail slowly flicked back and forth.
"Indeed... Sister, might I inquire a favor from you?" Luna asked.
"Of course. What do you need, Lulu?" Celestia responded, a look of curious intrigue on her features.
"I was wondering if I could borrow that brush of yours. I see what you've done with your mane and tail and... well I think I would like to experiment with a new style the next time I go out with Anon. After our last evening together... I was thinking of attempting to take the next step in our relationship. If he's interested, of course." Luna explained, a dark blush appearing on her face and the tips of her ears.
Celestia smiled broadly, "Luna, that's fantastic to hear! I'm so glad to hear that! Of course, you can borrow it. I'm absolutely thrilled for you." She exclaimed, quickly rushing over to her sister and sweeping her up in a hug.
Luna giggled, "Thank you, Tia. I... was unsure how you would feel about it. This whole situation is complicated enough already what with Anon still thinking he's dating our younger selves."
"I fully understand, Lulu... to be honest... I have a bit of a confession to make." Celestia replied, pulling away enough to look her sister in the eyes.
"What's that?" Luna inquired, looking back into Celestia's magenta irises.
"I... may have gone a step ahead today... with Anon." Celestia timidly admitted.
"What do you mean?" Luna tilted her head to the side.
"I... kissed Anon today. After he gave me the gift." Celestia clarified.
Luna's eyes widened, "You already kissed him!? Tiaaaaaaaaaaaa! Why do you always beat me to everything?" She pouted.
Celestia snickered, "I'm sorry, Lulu. I just... couldn't help it. I can feel my heat coming on with each passing day, and when I change into Sunshine, it only gets so much more intense. Plus the way Anon treats me like a normal mare instead of some infallible goddess that needs to be put on a pedestal, just... makes me that much more interested in him. I suppose the gift was the final straw. I'm afraid that if I turn back into Sunshine again while I'm in heat, I won't be able to control myself around him."
Luna nodded, "Oh thank Faust. I thought I was the only one. I think tonight or the next day will be the start of my heat. I was... hoping to see Anon as Nightshade one last time before that, but I don't know if it will happen. He hasn't been quite as good at scheduling dates with me as he has been with you."
"Have you asked him out on a date at all? Or did you just assume that you could visit him whenever and not bother?" Celestia cocked an eyebrow back.
Luna blushed.
"I'll take that as a yes. Not to worry, Lulu. I have it from an inside source that Anon truly does fancy Nightshade. In fact... just today he asked me if it would be alright for him to date the both of us." Celestia purred, a smirk quickly appearing on her face.
"R-really? This is wonderful news! Huzzah!" Luna cheered, hugging her sister tightly.
"Indeed it is. I think it's about time we pulled the curtain off of this little charade, sister. After estrus is over, I think we should confront Anon with the truth, and propose an actual relationship. No more faking. No more hiding behind masks from the past." Celestia firmly asserted.
"I could not agree more, Tia. Thank you for sharing this news. I can't wait." Luna smiled, before leaning in and kissing Celestia.
The solar diarch leaned into the kiss, smiling to herself all the while. Once the sister's parted from each other, Luna turned for the door.
"Well, I best be going. The moon is now high in the sky and ponies will be off to sleep soon enough. Perhaps I'll visit Anon's dreams tonight, just to see how he's doing. I did agree to visit him in the dream realm last night." She thought aloud, as she walked.
"That sounds wonderful, Luna. Just... try not to tell him everything just yet. I would much rather he learn the truth from the both of us at the same time." Celestia replied, watching her sister leave.
"Of course, sister. I only intend to spend some time with him, nothing more." Luna responded, pulling the door open.
Luna stepped out of the room and nearly bumped right into Echo as he came to a screeching halt in the doorway.
"Gah! E-Echo?!" Luna shrieked, her wings flaring out defensively.
Echo quickly snapped to attention and gave a salute, before addressing Luna, "Apologies, Princess. I just tried knocking on your door but I didn't receive an answer so I came straight here to see if Princess Celestia had seen you." He explained.
"Whatever is the matter?" Celestia asked, walking to the doorway. Her tone conveyed a sense of concern, barely hidden by a layer of pleasant warmth.
"It's... Anonymous, Princess. He's been arrested in the lower district." Echo replied.
"WHAT?!" Celestia and Luna both shrieked at the same time, making Echo's ear flatten against his skull as he winced and hissed through his teeth.
"What happened!?" Luna demanded, "Where was Sergeant Javelin? Where the buck were you and Dusk!?"
Echo continued to wince with each new question, Luna's royal Canterlot voice especially jarring on his sensitive thestral ears.
Noticing the stallion's obvious discomfort and pain, Celestia placed a hoof on Luna's wither, directing her attention back to her.
"Luna, please calm down. The poor stallion can't even hear himself think with you shouting him down like that." Celestia said, a calm expression on her face, although her tail noticeably swept back and forth.
Luna frowned, but held her tongue. The sister's returned their attention to the batpony stallion just as his ears finally returned to their normal position.
"Apologies... Echo, was it?" Celestia asked.
"Yes, your highness." Echo dutifully replied.
"Very interesting name. Now, please explain the situation for us, Echo." Celestia pressed.
"I'm afraid I don't know much, your highness. When Dusk and I arrived at the bar, Anonymous and Sergeant Javelin were already gone and the bartender told us that over two dozen ponies had been arrested, to include Anonymous. Dusk ordered me to come back and inform you while he went to the station to get them both released." Echo explained.
Celestia and Luna both nodded slowly.
"Did you catch the name of the ponice station they were taken to?" Celestia inquired.
"I'm afraid not, Princess. I only know that it was in the lower district. Dusk sent me back the second we found out what happened. I didn't learn anything else before leaving." Echo responded.
"Well we must go retrieve him. There are many ponice stations in the lower district, but not an infinite amount. Who knows what could happen to a stallion like him if he's thrown in with the scum and criminals." Luna declared, her horn lighting up in preparation to teleport.
Celestia sighed, "I'm afraid I'm inclined to agree. As much as I trust that your guards can have Anon returned to us unharmed, I need to know why our consort was arrested in the first place. The ponice better have a good explanation, as well as Anon." She agreed, her horn igniting as well.
"I'll head back down to the lower district and search for the ponice station as w-" Echo tried to explain, only for two teleportation spells to both blind and deafen him.
The stallion stumbled for a moment as he shook the stars out of his vision, "Guh... Easy detail, my flank. Now I have to claim tinnitus and blindness."
.
.
.
.
.
.
Celestia and Luna teleported into the third ponice department of the night, startling the two officers sitting in the waiting room, eating a pair of donuts while Dusk glared at them.
"P-p-Princesses!" The first officer shouted, her donut falling to the floor, half eaten as she jumped to her hooves and saluted.
The other pony quickly got to her hooves, and offered a salute to the diarchs.
"Dusk, there you are. We presume this is where Anon was taken?" Luna inquired, looking to the batpony.
"Yes, Princess. I've been trying to get him and Sergeant Javelin released, but these officers keep saying that they're still processing them through the system." Dusk replied, curtly.
"Very good. You may return to the castle, Dusk. We will handle it from here. Anything we don't hear from Anon, I'm sure we'll see in your report." Luna said, nodding to the stallion.
"Yes, Princess." Dusk answered with a salute, before trotting off to the door.
Once the batpony was gone, Celestia and Luna returned their attention to the pair of officers still standing at attention in front of them.
"Good evening. We're here looking for Anonymous. We were told he was arrested along with about two dozen other stallions just recently." Celestia replied, curtly.
"Is he that strange looking creature walking on two legs? Almost no fur? P-Princess." The first officer asked.
"He is not strange looking." Luna growled.
"R-right, of course, Princess! My mistake! I meant... interesting." The ponice mare quickly replied, a bead of sweat dripping down her neck.
Celestia eyed her sister curiously for a moment before returning her gaze to the mares in front of her.
"We need to speak with Anon. Also, there should be a unicorn stallion with him named Javelin. White-ish fur, blue mane." Celestia instructed.
"Yes, Princess! We'll get them out to the questioning room." The second ponice mare responded.
The officers quickly darted to the door leading to the back of the station. Celestia and Luna followed behind in a deliberate, but not too slow, pace. They soon found themselves in the questioning room, being offered water and snacks while they waited for Anon and Javelin to be brought into the room with them. Celestia politely declined, while Luna only responded with a harsh glare.
After nearly five minutes of waiting, the door across from them opened, and the first officer stepped in, followed immediately by Anon and Javelin. Anon's clothes were torn and matted with a small measure of blood on his sleeve that appeared to have come from his nose, if the dried blood there was any indication. His left eye socket was noticeably blackened from bruising, along with another bruise on his chin.
Behind Anon, Javelin fared even worse. His right eye was nearly swollen shut, and he noticeably struggled to walk on his left foreleg. A wide assortment of bruises littered his face, back, neck, and hindlegs, almost as if multiple ponies were kicking him at once. His muzzle was also matted with dried blood, although his was much less noticeable than Anon's.
All together, they looked absolutely terrible. Before the man and his guard could even take two steps into the room, both royal princesses were on their hooves and dashing toward them.
"Anon!" They both cried in alarm.
Anon held his hands up halfway in surrender, but was quickly engulfed in an embrace of wings and hooves. Celestia and Luna both held him in their forelegs as they looked over his injuries, worry plastered all over their faces.
"Oh my gosh! What in Tartarus happened to you!?" Celestia exclaimed.
"You look like you were mauled by a timberwolf!" Luna added.
"Uh... I-I'm alright, girls. Honestly. Jav's the one that got more hurt in that scuffle. If anything, you should be looking him over. I just got slugged in the nose once or twice. He got beat up by, like, five ponies at once." Anon replied, sounding confused.
Luna and Celestia both released their embrace of the human to look down at the pony stallion standing beside them.
"Sergeant, are you alright?" Celestia inquired, stepping over to the stallion and wrapping a wing around his barrel.
"I'm alright, Princess. I've had worse." Javelin replied, although there was a noticeable edge in his voice, as if speaking was somewhat painful for him.
"Princesses, I can bring in medical help to look them over and patch them up. We only just received them five minutes before you arrived." The ponice mare spoke up.
Celestia nodded, "Yes, please do. In the meantime, I think we need to discuss what happened this night."
All parties in the room nodded either in agreement, or resignation, and the officer quickly left. Once it was only the four of them, Celestia and Luna ushered Anon and Javelin into the empty seats on their side of the table while they reclaimed their own chairs on the opposite side.
"So... Busy night at the castle?" Anon inquired, after a few moments of silence.
Both Luna and Celestia frowned.
"Right, uh... besides dealing with us?"
"Anonymous. What in Tartarus happened?" Celestia demanded, although her tone was still very soft and comforting.
Anon sighed, "Okay, long story short, that stallion that brought up the law that started this whole thing between us, Comet Ray, or... something like that, basically jumped us at the bar." He explained.
Celestia and Luna shared a look of disbelief, before the former turned back to Anon, "Do you mean Comet Star?"
"Yeah, that's the one. Sorry, my head is killing me, so thinking hurts... more than usual." Anon and Javelin chuckled.
"Anon, this is hardly a joking matter. This is a serious offense. If what you're saying is true, then he will be charged with assaulting royalty, conspiracy, and a whole host of other charges. At minimum, he'll receive capital punishment." Luna replied.
"Sergeant, can you confirm that it was Comet Star that did this?" Celestia pressed, looking over to Javelin.
"It was him, all right. Him and about two dozen other stallion nobles. He told us that he planned to essentially force you to marry him when he brought up the law, but didn't count on Anon being there. He said he was going to make sure we wouldn't be around to tell you his plans after he cornered us in the bar." Javelin recounted.
"Course, he didn't expect us to give him and his friends the ass kicking of a lifetime." Anon smirked.
"Ass? What do donkeys have to do with this?" Luna questioned, looking to Celestia for answers.
Celestia sighed quietly, "I've... been asking myself the same question for a while now."
"It's a long story. Point is, the twenty something of them still couldn't take down the two of us." Anon beamed.
Javelin held up his hoof, to which Anon quickly bumped. Both parties hissed in pain and shook their injured appendages from the contact.
"From the looks of the two of you, I'd say they still did some serious damage. I'll have to look into the matter tomorrow with regards to Comet Star and his associates. This crime cannot go unpunished. I can understand being jealous of you, but for them to attack you, and make a threat on the both of your lives... it is unacceptable, and I will ensure all parties involved feel the full force of the law." Celestia responded, firmly.
"Were it the old days, I'd cut all of their heads off tomorrow." Luna muttered.
"They will face excommunication for their crimes, as well as forfeiture of all of their assets. We can't do harsh punishments like that anymore, Luna, but they will most certainly pay. Dearly." Celestia replied.
"Now, onto the next question," Luna announced, "Why in the buck did the ponice arrest you both as well?"
Celestia nodded as Javelin and Anon shared a look.
"It... well-" Javelin began, only for Anon to cut him off.
"It was my fault. We were just so overwhelmed by all the ponies attacking us that when the cops showed up, I just kept throwing punches. Don't listen to anything else Javelin says, he's trying to take the blame for it and I won't let him." Anon declared, crossing his arms.
"Anon! I hit one with one of my mana bolts!" Javelin exclaimed.
"After I punched one in the snout and they started trying to arrest us too." Anon replied, shaking his head dismissively.
"Anon, it's my job to take responsibility for the shots I miss. I messed up and got us arrested-" Javelin tried to rebutt.
"Abahababa. Nope, I won't hear it. It was my fault, and no one else's. Sucks to suck." Anon childishly cut him off again.
Javelin frowned deeply while Anon unapologetically looked at Celestia and Luna, ignoring him completely.
The sisters shared another look, before they both had to stop smirks from appearing on their muzzles.
"W-well, as long as none of the ponice officers were seriously hurt, I think we can call it a wash." Celestia said, after controlling herself.
"Yeah, they're fine. You shoulda seen the one Jav hit though. That bitch flew twenty feet across the bar." Anon laughed, before clutching his ribs and wheezing in pain.
Celestia and Luna shared a chuckle at Anon's expense while Javelin fought to suppress his own laughter. Eventually they all calmed down enough for Celestia to address the group again.
"Alright. Well I'm just glad to hear that everypony is alright. We'd both be absolutely devastated if something worse happened to you both. I'm just thankful that you're in such high spirits after everything. Most ponies would call tonight a traumatic experience." Celestia said, getting to her hooves.
"Maybe most ponies, but not us." Anon smiled.
"Indeed, Anon. Now come, we must find that medical officer and have her look you both over. Then it's right back to the castle and to bed with the both of you." Luna ordered, getting to her hooves as well.
"Yeah, fair enough, although, I do have one quick question." Anon replied, standing up as well.
"What's that, Anon?" Celestia asked.
"Did... did you do something with your hair?"
Author's Note
Uh oh.
All's Fair in Love and War
Chapter 24: The Truth Shall Set You Free
As the group entered the castle doors, Celestia, Luna, Anon, and Javelin all let out a collective sigh after the extremely long day they'd all endured.
"You didn't do that yourself? So no new brush or anything? When? Today? After my date with Sunshine?" Anon questioned, his brow heavily furrowed in scrutiny.
"I-it is... as I said, Anon. I went to the spa to relax after a particularly long day and well... I simply wanted to try something new." Celestia replied, with a stealthily concealed gulp.
"So... you went to a spa? After work? Where?" Anon inquired, eyeing Celestia's mane and tail, suspiciously.
"It was the royal spa in the castle. They're always open to royalty. You should stop by sometime. I'm sure it would do wonders for helping you relax." Celestia replied, quickly.
"Uh huh... Guess I'll have to check it out." Anon acknowledged, with a healthy amount of skepticism in his voice.
"Anon, if it bothers you so much, I'll be sure to not try different styles around you anymore." Celestia replied, a sad undertone in her voice that made Anon pause.
Anon's eyes lingered on Celestia for a moment, tracing over her mane, down to her tail, and the particularly revealing way her dock was hiked up, before he frowned.
"W-well, I'm not saying that you shouldn't try new hair styles, it's just... kinda..." Anon sighed, heavily, "You know what, forget it. Nevermind." He said, shaking his head.
"Consider it forgotten, Anon." Celestia smiled, prompting a nod in return.
"It does look good, by the way." Anon offered, in a bid to make peace.
Celestia blushed slightly as she beamed from Anon's praise, however small it was.
"Thank you, Anon. That truly does mean a lot to hear from you. With that said though, we really must be getting to bed, all of us. You both need to rest after tonight's events, and I have to raise the sun in only a few hours. We can discuss this more tomorrow." Celestia said, in an attempt to change the subject.
"Princesses, really, I'm alright. I just need some rest and maybe some light duty for a few days. Nothing I can't shake off and get back into it, once I'm not so sore." Javelin protested, as the group headed toward one of the guest suites.
"I'll hear nothing of it, Sergeant. You did a great service not only to Anon, but to the crown as well. If Comet Star and his goons had their way, we might not have seen either of you again, and then we'd be marrying him or delaying the wedding for months just to keep from being stripped of our power." Celestia replied, dismissively shaking her head.
"You not only saved our consort, you saved our friend. For that, you will be receiving a medal. Possibly a promotion as well, Sergeant." Luna added.
"I... well, t-thank you, Princess. Although, I was only trying to protect my friend, as well." Javelin replied, thoughtfully.
"Awww, you guys are gonna make me cry." Anon fake sniffled while rubbing his eyes.
All of the ponies rolled their eyes as they arrived at the suite.
"Alright, Sergeant. This is your stop. Before you go, however, I would like to give you one more thing." Celestia announced, her horn preemptively sparking to life.
"Of course, Princess." Javelin replied.
Celestia quickly cast a spell, sending white tendrils of magic all over the guardstallion's body, particularly his most noticeable bruises. A few moments passed as each beam of light pierced through Javelin's fur and into his body, before a warm feeling washed over his entire being, and his withers slumped noticeably.
"Oh, wow... That's... thasthegudshitrightthere." Javelin mumbled, his eyes quickly growing heavy.
Celestia smiled, cutting off the spell, "There we go. That spell should help heal the vast majority of your injuries while you sleep. It also should be making you extraordinarily sleepy as we speak."
"Y-you got thatright..." Javelin murmured, his eyelids already drooping.
"Well then, off to bed, Sergeant. I'm sure you and Anon will have some more shenanigans to get up to tomorrow." Celestia chuckled.
"Mmmhmm... G'night." Javelin replied, before turning around and slowly making his way to the bed.
"Night, Jav. Thanks again, bud." Anon called after the unicorn, receiving a grunt of affirmation before the stallion plopped onto the bed and passed out.
Celestia shut the door quietly with her magic, before returning her attention to Anon and Luna.
"Well, I believe that's enough excitement for one evening. Anon, I can't begin to express how happy I am that you're alright and not seriously hurt. I would like to cast the healing spell on you as well, if you'd allow it." Celestia offered, a tired smile on her face.
Anon stretched before yawning heavily, "I appreciate it, Celestia, but honestly, I'm not even hurting at all. Plus I'm already tired, so I think I'll just head to bed, myself. Thanks, though." He replied.
Celestia frowned skeptically, "Are you certain? I see several large bruises and the remains of dried blood still on your face that say otherwise."
Anon chuckled, "Ah, this is nothing. You shoulda seen me in college. Got into fights pretty much every weekend. Really, it's a miracle I don't have cauliflower ear." He replied.
"You were fighting other stallions as brutally as you fought tonight?" Luna questioned, concern bleeding into her tone.
Anon nodded, "Yeah, pretty much. Although, I will say that I've never had to use a frying pan before. Usually it was just fistfighting, but those ponies had magic and shit, so... you know, fair's fair." He shrugged.
Both Celestia and Luna shook their heads in disbelief, "Sometimes I forget that your world is so diametrically opposed to ours." Celestia admitted.
"Eh, to be honest, having a bunch of male ponies try to jump me in a bar is probably the closest thing to normal that's happened to me since I got here." Anon laughed, prompting a snicker and chuckle from the royal sisters, as well.
"I'm just glad that things didn't end worse." Luna said, looking to Anon, apologetically.
"I knew you guys would come find us, even if things went sideways. I was never worried." Anon placed his hands on his hips, smiling broadly.
A tiny blush spread on Luna's cheeks forcing her to direct her gaze away from Anon as Celestia stepped forward.
"Thank you, Anon. To hear that from you... it truly does mean a lot to us." She smiled.
Anon returned the smile, "Eh, what can I say. You guys have grown on me a bit. Now, before I get too sappy, I am really tired. I'd be willing to bet that you are too, Celestia. I think I'm gonna head off to bed now." He replied.
Celestia nodded, a grateful smile on her face, "Of course. Good night, Anon. Good night, Lulu." She said, before turning to head toward her room.
"Goodnight sister. I will see you when the sun rises." Luna replied, before turning to see Anon heading toward his room as well, "Anon!" She called
Anon stopped in his tracks and turned around to see the lunar princess as she trotted up to him, a small frown on her face.
"What's up, Luna?" Anon asked, placing his hands in his pockets.
Luna paused in front of him and nervously rubbed her foreleg with her hoof. She bit her lip as she felt a wave of nerves suddenly wash over her, and she averted her gaze. Her wings twitched intermittently as her tail swept back and forth on the floor. Anon frowned as he looked at her, concern slowly weeding into his voice as he spoke up again.
"Luna? Are you alright?" He asked, kneeling down to be at eye level with her.
As Anon reached her level, the dark princess instinctively leaned away just a hair. After a moment, she felt his hand reach out and touch her wither. Luna instantly leapt forward, wrapping her hooves and wings around Anon and she buried her muzzle into the crook of his neck. Anon stumbled from the sudden hug, almost falling over in the process.
"L-Luna?" He asked, now thoroughly concerned.
"I... I just need to apologize. It was my fault you were hurt tonight... and I'm so sorry." Luna mumbled, squeezing him tightly.
Anon shook his head in her embrace as he returned the hug, "Luna... it's alright. I'm fine. Everything worked out just fine." He comforted.
"But what if it hadn't? I... You could have been killed... tortured, beaten, locked away... and it would've been all my fault for letting you go without a proper escort." Luna whispered, her voice strained.
Anon squeezed the lunar princess just a tad tighter, "But it did work out. Don't beat yourself up over it, Luna. Nobody knew that we were gonna get jumped at the bar. I'll just... be more careful in the future. Promise." He replied.
Luna slowly nodded. After a few moments, she pulled away enough to look Anon in the eyes. The nurse did a decent enough job of cleaning all of the dried blood off of his face, as well as reduce the bruising to just a dark blemish around his eye and cheek. Still, the wounds were clearly visible, and it sent a knife of guilt through Luna's heart.
"Anon... I... I think I need to tell you something." Luna began, her lip trembling slightly.
"What's that?" Anon asked.
"I... I've come to care a great deal about you... and... I-I think it's time I be truthful with you." The dark princess admitted, her cheeks darkening in a deep blush. Another, deeper blush quickly welled inside of her. A burning heat that swelled into her chest as her lungs inhaled every breath, and all she could smell was him. Her eyelids fluttered shut as his scent filled her sinuses, making her knees weaken.
Anon titled his head to the side, his brow furrowing in concern, "Luna, what are you saying? Are you alright? You look like you're shaking."
"W-well... it's just that..." Luna trailed off, her muzzle pointing directly to the floor as she averted her gaze. Her entire body shook ever so slightly as she prepared herself.
Anon gently reached forward and cupped Luna's cheek with his hand. He lifted her head until he was looking into her teal eyes once more. Her pupils were dilated, and her tail swished about quickly under her haunches.
"Luna, are you oka-" Anon started, his voice quickly being silenced as Luna darted forward, locking her lips with his.
Anon's eyes widened immediately at the kiss, and he instantly fell backwards, Luna falling on top of him as she deepened the kiss even further. Anon's brain struggled to process the soft, downy feeling of Luna's lips against his. He laid on the ground, frozen in shock for nearly two whole seconds, before reflexively kissing her back.
Once Luna felt Anon returning the kiss, she sighed softly through her nostrils, her wings flaring out as she pulled away, her entire muzzle a shade darker. Both Anon and Luna panted as they stared into each others eyes; one struggling to process what just happened, and one struggling to process what she just did.
Quickly enough, the realization set in, and Luna's pupils shrank to pinpricks. She nervously gulped as she stepped off of, and away from Anon, allowing him to sit upright.
"Uh... I-Anon... that wasn't... I mean, I didn't... oh, Faust." Luna rattled off, her wings twitching sporadically at her sides.
"L-Luna?" Anon asked, his brow furrowed in disbelief and concern.
Luna took a step back away from the man, her eyes darting all around the room as she desperately searched for an explanation for her actions. After several tense seconds of silence, and finding nothing to use as a suitable excuse, she slowly looked up to Anon once more.
"I... I have to go. Please don't look for me." Luna suddenly announced, before teleporting away.
Anon shielded his eyes from the bright light with his hand, before looking to where Luna once was and finding nothing there. He quickly pushed himself to his feet, his eyes wide as saucers.
"What the fuck?" He whispered, his voice still filled with shock.
Anon looked around the empty hall surrounding him, finding no immediate sign of the lunar princess. A flurry of emotions immediately swirled about in his chest, forming a pit in his stomach.
What the fuck just happened? She... she kissed me? Luna? What the fuck? She actually... holy shit.
Anon pushed himself to his feet and scanned down the hallways to his right, left, and front. Without delay, he walked, then ran, and finally broke into a sprint down the hallway in front of him, toward Celestia and Luna's rooms. Anon rushed past several guards, earning a few surprised yelps and questions as he passed them.
"Sir! Where are you going?"
"What's wrong, sir!?"
Anon ignored them all as he ran down the hall, quickly finding himself at his destination. Once there, he quickly made his way over to Luna's door and pounded on it. There was no response. Dusk and Echo were standing guard outside, and shared a look of confusion as Anon continued to bang on the door. They watched Anon with puzzled looks on their faces, but deigned not to say anything, instead opting to attempt to ignore the man as best as they could.
"Luna!" Anon called through the door, his knocking only growing more urgent.
If Luna was in her room, she was not responding, prompting Anon to call for her again. After a short while of knocking, Dusk looked up to Anon with a worried frown on his face.
"Sir, Princess Luna hasn't been in her chambers since she left with her sister to go find you several hours ago. She stationed Echo and I at her door, but she hasn't come back this way yet, and neither of us heard any teleportation spells going off to indicate that she returned that way." Dusk explained.
Anon slammed his hands against the door and hung his head low. He shut his eyes in frustration before pinching the bridge of his nose and letting out a long, drawn out sigh.
"Alright... can you... can you just let me know if you see her? I need to talk to her. It's important." Anon replied, after a moment.
"Of course, sir. We'll send for you immediately after we see her." Dusk responded.
"Okay... thanks." Anon muttered, before pulling away from the door and turning toward the other one, "Celestia is asleep, isn't she?" He asked.
"Yes, sir. She returned to her room just a few minutes ago... also, it's almost three in the morning. She'll have to be up to raise the sun in just a few hours. If I may, sir... it'd probably be best if you let her rest." Echo added.
Anon nodded shakily, "Y-yeah... I guess I'll talk to her tomorrow."
As Anon turned to walk away, Dusk spoke up once more, "Sir, with respect... you've had a long night too. You look like you could use some rest." He suggested.
Anon barely shook his head, "I don't need sleep, Dusk. I need answers."
Dusk and Echo shared another look of concerned confusion as Anon walked away, a determined step in his gait.
Luna teleported into her observatory, her heart pounding in her chest as she desperately heaved for breath. She hyperventilated for almost a minute before finally managing to calm down enough to think.
Okay... damage report? I just kissed Anonymous. I just kissed Anon. What in Tartarus came over me!?!
Luna rubbed her temples with her hooves as she started to lose control of her breathing once more.
"Horseapples! Calm down, Luna! This can be salvaged! Surely it can... I hope. Faust I hope so..." She trailed off, her heart hammering in her chest once more.
Her stomach twisted in knots, forcing her to fight the urge to vomit. She quickly lost the battle and rushed over to the bathroom, where she just barely managed to hit the toilet. The sound of painful dry heaving and puking echoed through the empty observatory as the lunar princess suffered alone.
After some time, she managed to get control over herself and get back onto her hooves.
"Why does he have to make me actually feel something? Why can't he just be like all the other stallions and just be too afraid to even talk to me?" She muttered, walking into the observatory room once more.
The lunar princess quickly slumped to her haunches and sighed heavily.
"What the buck am I saying? Anon not being afraid of me is why he means so much to me... and now I've ruined it." She whispered, tears clawing their way out of her eyes.
Luna sat on the floor, her eyes fixed to the small tile in front of her as she recalled the kiss over and over again. She screwed her eyes shut as more and more tears spilled free, dripping down onto her horseshoes. Luna sniffled as she tried, in vain to hold back her emotions.
"Stupid heat... why does mine always have to make me so impulsive... Tia never has these kinds of problems... usually." Luna croaked.
As the seconds turned to minutes, and the minutes into the better part of an hour, Luna's ears picked up on a faint sound that was quickly growing louder. It sounded similar to hoofsteps, only it was more muffled, and there were only two distinct steps, not four. A feeling of dread quickly washed over the dark princess as she looked up to the observatory door. Her heart accelerated in her chest, forcing her to breathe just a tad heavier as the footsteps reached the door.
There was a decisive click as the door was unlocked and pushed open from the other side. Anon quickly stepped into the observatory, finding Luna sitting in the middle of the room. The younger alicorn stared back at him as if she'd seen a ghost, and after a moment of silent staredown, she unfurled her wings and turned for the window.
"Luna, wait! I just wanna talk!" Anon shouted, breaking into a sprint toward the dark princess.
Luna flinched at his words, her wings trembling slightly before snapping back shut against her barrel. A defeated and shuddering sigh escaping her lips as she sank back down to her haunches once more. Anon was almost instantly at her side, gently grabbing a hold of both of her withers as he sat down in front of her.
"Luna, please, talk to me. I can see that you're upset... I'm guessing you didn't mean to do that down there, but you did. Please just tell me what's going on. I'm not mad at you, I swear." Anon compassionately explained, rubbing small circles in her fur with his thumbs.
Luna sniffled, "A-Anon... please... don't make me say it."
"Luna, please... just tell me. You can't just kiss me down there like that and then pretend like nothing happened." Anon firmly, yet gently replied.
"I-I... I know." Luna muttered, looking away in shame.
Anon pulled her just a smidge closer, "Luna, what just happened back there... I need to know if that was because you're going into heat... or if it was something more. Please tell me. Please?"
Luna winced before she hung her head low and sighed, "It... I suppose it's a bit of both. Anon, I am so sorry... I never meant to play with your heart." She admitted.
"What are you talking about?" Anon inquired.
"My heat... tends to make me more impulsive, but... I've had... feelings for you for some time now." Luna explained.
Anon's grip on her withers loosened immediately, and he nearly recoiled back from the news. He shook his head as he tried to process the information, but quickly found his attention refocusing on the mare still in his grasp.
"H-how long?" He asked, almost afraid to learn the truth.
Luna closed her eyes, her head still hung low, "Ever since the nightclub." She admitted.
Anon released his grip on Luna entirely and fell back onto his heels. His mouth hung slightly open, and his heart twisted in his chest.
"So... you are Nightshade then..." He whispered, putting the pieces together.
Luna could only nod, "I... we were going to tell you the truth after estrus... clearly I've already ruined that plan... at first, I only wanted to get to know you better as somepony that... hadn't treated you so horribly. Then... at the nightclub, I... I only went down there to tell you that you and Sunshine had to stop dating, for your sake... but then I just... I lost myself."
Anon felt his eyes drift to the floor, "So Sunshine... is just Celestia," Luna nodded once more, prompting another small sigh to escape his lips, "I knew it."
Luna's head shot up, "You... you knew?" She asked, her voice trembling.
Anon indignantly looked up, "Oh come on! You look almost the exact same! Talked the exact same! The timing was way too perfect! Everything about you two was suspicious... but I really hoped I was just being too paranoid... I mean, what? You finally meet someone that seems to genuinely like you and then you interrogate them to make sure they aren't someone else?" He rubbed the bridge of his nose, "This whole time... you two were lying to me... for what?" He questioned, quietly.
"A-Anon, I know how bad this looks, but please... please understand, I beg you... neither of us intended to fall for you, but we did... we only wanted to make sure you were alright after our fight, and when you started training with Raven, but... the more time we spent with you, the more... the more we found ourselves wanting to spend more time with you." Luna explained, tears forming in the corners of her eyes once more.
Anon remained silent for some time, provoking a steady frown on Luna's face, and a sense of dread in her heart.
"So... it was all just... more lies?" He whispered, his voice coming out weak, and strained. He stood back up to his full height, his hands finding their way to his head as he whispered, "No, no, no, no... this can't be happening..."
"No! Anon, please! I swear to you that it was real! What we shared with you; the dancing, the time at the park, the gazebo, it was all real! Every second of it! And the same goes for Celestia! She was positively beaming when she got back from your date! Our feelings for you are real! That was never a lie! I swear on my moon!" Luna exclaimed, her lips trembling as she grabbed Anon's thigh with her hooves.
"How can I believe a word you say after you've spent the better part of the last month pretending to be someone else?! And that goes double for Celestia! Ever since I got here, you two have drugged me, threatened me, lied to me, and now... now you've taken the only thing that gave me any hope that this arrangement could really work out." Anon replied, pulling away and raising his voice with each word.
Luna winced as his volume increased, "I swear by all that I hold dear that the time we spent with you was genuine! I know we bucked everything up, but Anon, please believe me! We never wanted to hurt you! We tried so many times to stop things before they got too far, but every time we change... it gets harder and harder to change back..." She admitted, tears streaking from her eyes once more.
Anon looked away from her as he grit his teeth together, his fists clenching tightly, "What the fuck is that even supposed to mean?" He demanded.
"W-when we change back into Nightshade and Sunshine, it's... it's hard to change back. Being with you and just feeling... normal, for a change... feeling like life is simple and there's somepony who actually wants to be with you not because of your position, or your power... but because of who you are, it's... it's not something that either of us have felt in so many years. Anon, I know we ruined your trust in us... but please, please just consider hearing us out. I know we don't deserve it... but the way you felt about Nightshade and Sunshine... that feeling goes both ways. We feel the same way about you." Luna explained.
Anon slowly unclenched his fists, and let out a long, sad sigh. His shoulders slumped, and he looked away from Luna she she stared at him, concern and fear plastered all over her face. He slowly turned toward the door, and walked away.
"W-wait! Anon, I know you're angry, but-" Luna began, quickly getting to her hooves.
"I'm fuming, Luna, but... more than that, I'm just... tired. Tired of being lied to, tired of being manipulated, tired of feeling like every time something good happens in my life, something horrible has to happen immediately afterwards. I just... I need some time to think." He replied, still facing away from the lunar princess.
"Anon, please-" Luna tried once more as she grabbed his arm with her hooves.
"Let go of me, Luna." Anon ordered, his voice just above a whisper.
With tears leaving streaks down her face, Luna slowly, and reluctantly released her grip on Anon's arm. The tall man walked to the door and left, his head hung low the entire way.
Left by herself, Luna could only stare after Anon. Shame, disbelief, horror, dread, and most of all, guilt, lingered in her heart and made her stomach twist. She slowly sank back down to her haunches, and then down to her belly, her face buried in her forelegs as she cried in earnest. Her sobs filled the empty observatory for the rest of the night.
All's Fair in Love and War
Celestia awoke with a tired yawn. She stretched her forelegs and hindlegs as she lay in bed, her eyes still closed to stave off the process of actually getting out of bed for as long as possible. After a short debate, she admitted defeat, and opened her sleepy eyes to the dark room around her. She got herself our of bed and made her way over to her balcony with a yawn.
Upon stepping outside, Celestia noticed the distinct lack of her sister at the other balcony. With a raised eyebrow and a small shrug, she looked up to the sky to find that the moon was still high above the horizon. Her brow furrowed in confusion, before a pounding at her door commanded her attention. The white alicorn turned around and headed to her door with one more concerned glance at the moon as it lingered above.
Once she reached her door, Celestia used her magic to pull it open, revealing Dusk.
"Princess, you need to come with us to the observatory immediately." Dusk instructed, presenting a quick salute.
"What? Why? What's going on?" Celestia demanded, looking to the guard inquisitively.
"It's... Princess Luna. She's been in the observatory the whole night. She's in distress." Dusk explained.
"Take me to her immediately." Celestia ordered.
"Of course, your highness." Dusk responded, before turning tail and trotting toward the observatory, Celestia close behind.
The pair reached their destination within a few minutes. Upon arrival, they were greeted by Echo and several of the arriving royal guardsmares.
"She's right inside, Princess. She ordered that nopony disturb her, but she asked to see you once you were awake." Echo explained, grabbing the door to the observatory.
"Thank you, Echo, Dusk. Please ensure we aren't disturbed. Whatever happened must have been serious. The moon hasn't moved since I went to sleep." Celestia replied.
"Of course, Princess." Echo answered, before opening the door.
Celestia stepped into the observatory main room, the door quickly closing behind her. She instantly saw the younger alicorn laying on the floor in the center, her face buried in her hooves. The constellations above cast bright sparkling lights all around her and onto her coat, illuminating the room in a bright white glow.
"Luna!" Celestia cried, rushing to her sister's side.
Luna barely responded to Celestia's voice, nor to her touch as she pulled her into a gentle hug.
"Luna, what's wrong? Are you alright?" Celestia questioned, looking for signs of blood or other injuries on her sister's body.
Luna only managed to slowly shake her head in her sister's embrace. The lack of a verbal response prompted Celestia to pull away enough to look into her sister's eyes, only to find that they lingered on the floor. Her cheeks were noticeably damp with tears shed over the long night.
"Luna, what happened? Why were you crying?" Celestia pressed, worry and concern showing clearly on her face as she held her sister close.
"I... I ruined it." Luna whispered, sadly.
"Ruined what? Luna, please, tell me what happened." Celestia gently asked.
"A...A-Anon... I... I kissed him." Luna admitted, her gaze never leaving the floor.
"You kissed Anon? W-what did he do? Did he say something to hurt you?" Celestia questioned, her eyes widening in surprise.
"N-no... I messed up. I t-told him everything." Luna croaked.
Celestia felt a pit form in her chest, "Y-you mean..."
"Everything... He knows about Sunshine and Nightshade... He always suspected... I bucked up." Luna hung her head low again.
"B-but... we were going to tell him after estrus!" Celestia cried.
"I know that!" Luna screamed, her voice hoarse, "Don't you think I know? I've ruined everything."
"N-now Luna, things might not be that bad. I'm sure he just reacted emotionally, but deep down, he must understand-" Celestia began, attempting to reason.
"Don't you get it!? I bucked up! We bucked up! We've been lying to him ever since we met him, and now, after all the lies and deceit he finally knows the truth! HE BUCKING HATES US!" Luna screamed, making Celestia flinch.
"L-Luna..."
"And we deserve it! Why couldn't we just tell him the truth! Why the buck did we bucking do this, Tia!? All we had to do was tell him the truth from the start! We could've had a herd with him by now!" Luna continued to shout, "Now... now he's gone... and it's my bucking fault." Her voice died down to a whisper, followed by another choked sniffle.
Celestia looked down at her miserable sister and felt her heart ache. All at once, her wings fell limp by her sides, and she fell to her haunches, her mane even slowing in it's invisible breeze.
"I... suppose we really have bucked this whole thing up, haven't we?" She asked, already well aware of the answer.
Luna sniffled once more, "He's gone, Tia... gone to who knows where... and I doubt we can ever hope to get him back." She sulked.
Celestia felt her own tears threaten to spill from her eyes, "I just thought... that if we told him why we did what we did... he'd understand. At least... I wished he would."
Luna shook her head, "What even is there to get, sister? 'Sorry we've been lying to you this whole time, we hoped you'd be okay with it after we had you sufficiently in love with our alter ego's'?!" She snapped.
"You know it wasn't like that!" Celestia exclaimed, "It was never... never supposed to hurt him... we were only trying to make sure he was okay. I never... I never thought I'd fall for him, but now... now I can't imagine waking up without him down the hall to make my day just a tad brighter." She trailed off, her eyes misting over.
Luna finally managed to push herself to her haunches. She wiped the tears from her eyes with her foreleg before fixing Celestia with a bloodshot gaze.
"He's the first stallion in over a thousand years to make me feel genuinely wanted... to make me feel like I'm not the monster I used to be... how could we have been so stupid?" Luna croaked.
Celestia sighed, "I... I don't know, Luna. Maybe we're just not as good of ponies as we'd like to think we are... maybe we were too proud and bullheaded to just tell him the truth... maybe it's just that we've been approaching this from the wrong perspective this whole time, even." She admitted.
"What do you mean?" Lua asked.
"Anon's an alien. He's not like any stallion in Equestria. Maybe the reason we've messed this up so badly is because we keep thinking that Anon thinks like a stallion. In reality, he thinks more like a mare. How would you feel if the stallion you fell for turned out to be a stallion you hated." Celestia suggested, her head sinking just a bit lower.
"I... I would feel very betrayed." Luna agreed, sighing sadly.
Celestia nodded, "I... I don't know what we should do. Clearly every time we try to make things better with Anon we only make them worse. We hurt him every time we try to make him happier."
"Do we just... leave him by himself? What if something happens to him?" Luna responded.
"I don't think he'd want our help even if we did offer it to him..." Celestia murmured.
"What do we do? Surely there must be some way to salvage this!" Luna exclaimed, grabbing Celestia's foreleg.
"I think... for now, the only thing we can do is to give Anon some space, sister. At least, for a little while." Celestia replied.
"How long is 'a little while'?" Luna pleadingly asked.
"I... I don't know, Luna. Maybe a week... maybe a month... maybe a year. I don't know... I just don't know." Celestia sighed.
"We need to speak with him. We need to make this right, Tia, not just wait for him to come back." Luna shook her head.
"I wasn't saying we should just wait for him to come back. I was only saying that if we track him down and try to talk to him before he's ready to hear it... all we'll do is push him away even more." Celestia clarified, her voice lacking it's usual strength.
Luna's head dipped low as her withers sagged once more, "I... I know you're right. Faust, I hope he's okay... I...I just want him here so I can apologize again. Not knowing how he's feeling is driving me mad crazy."
"Mad and crazy?" Celestia tilted her head to the side.
Luna let out a mirthless chuckle, "It's a saying from his world. I thought it fitting."
Celestia half smiled, "He has rubbed off on us quite a bit, hasn't he?" She asked, her eyes downcast.
"Indeed... indeed he has."
"Faust I just hope he's okay."
Anon walked down the main road of the center district, his hands in his pockets, as his gaze stayed locked to the ground. He passed by a few ponies that were out and about, looking up to the sky to find the moon still there. Questions rang out all around him, but Anon payed them no mind. He simply kept walking until no more questions reached him.
Eventually, the moon sank below the horizon, and the sun slowly rose, lighting up the world around the tall man. He turned his head toward the rising sun, his brow creased ever so slightly before looking away with a small sigh. He continued along his aimless path, his gaze once more falling to the ground below. He found himself counting the individual stones cemented into the road as he walked along, losing himself in his senseless counting.
After some unknown amount of time spent walking with no real purpose, Anon found himself reaching the end of a cul-de-sac. He slowly looked up to see identical houses circling around him. He turned around to find more and more of the same house lining the street, all the way down to the corner.
"Military housing... Jav's house must be around here." He mumbled, his first words in hours.
Anon walked back down the cul-de-sac toward his goal, finding the house in question within a matter of minutes on the long street. He made his way up the steps to the front door and reached to knock, before pausing.
"Oh yeah... he's at the castle." Anon muttered, shaking his head.
He slowly and begrudgingly turned around once more before sitting down on the front porch, his back against the door. Resting his arms on his knees, Anon sat and waited for Javelin to return, his gaze locked onto the concrete ground before him. Birds chirped happily in the distance, yet Anon didn't so much as lift his head to gaze up at them as they flittered about in the morning sunlight.
The better part of an hour quickly passed, and before Anon knew it, he heard the sound of hoofsteps approaching him. The tall man didn't so much as look up to see the pony walking toward him, however soon enough, a pair of hooves came to a stop just in his line of sight.
"Anon? What are you doing here, dude?" Javelin asked, making his way up to his front door with a worried frown.
"Hey, Jav... mind if I come in?" Anon replied, not even looking up to acknowledge the unicorn in front of him.
"Uh, sure. Yeah, come on in, dude. Lemme get the door." Javelin answered, easily sensing Anon's bad mood.
As Anon moved to get to his feet, Javelin offered his hoof to the rising human. Anon paused as he looked down at the offered helping hoof, before slowly taking it, and being pulled to his feet. Once Anon was no longer blocking the door, Javelin quickly moved in and let the both of them into the house.
Anon lethargically made his way to the couch while Javelin closed and locked the door behind him. The stallion cast a worried look his way the whole time until he sat down on the couch and hunched over, resting his elbows on his knees. The guardstallion slowly made his way over to the couch and placed his hoof on Anon's thigh. The contact barely even registered on the man as he continued to sulk.
"Hey... listen, dude... you can tell me what's wrong. Something must have happened between now and last night, because first thing I woke up to was the moon still being up in the sky, the princesses locked in the observatory with about three dozen guards crowding around up there, and you missing from the castle. I spent the better part of an hour looking for you before Lieutenant Valorant told me to go home for the day." Javelin explained, his concern bleeding into his voice.
Anon remained silent for some time, causing the already deep crease in Javelin's brow to furrow even further as he thought of what to say. Just as the stallion opened his mouth to speak again, Anon cut him off.
"They lied to me." He whispered, his melancholy gaze stuck to the floorboards.
"Who lied? The princesses?" Javelin pressed, leaning closer.
"Yeah."
Javelin sighed quietly, "What did they lie about?" He inquired.
"What didn't they lie about?" Anon scoffed, his voice strained.
"Anon, I don't understand. Clearly I missed something massive last night. What specifically did they lie to you about? Your role? The arrangement to let you date outside of them?" Javelin questioned.
"They never let me date outside of them." Anon bitterly replied.
"What? What about Sunshine and Nightshade-" Javelin began.
"They ARE Sunshine and Nightshade! The whole fucking time they were pretending to be those mares to get on my good side!" Anon snarled, making Javelin recoil back.
"W-what?" Javelin shook his head in disbelief.
"Last night... Luna kissed me. She ran away and I chased her down," Anon held his head with his hands as he let out a slow sigh, "I found her in the observatory, and when I asked her why she did that... why she ran... she told me everything. Celestia was Sunshine, and Luna was Nightshade. They were pretending to be those mares for... fucking weeks."
Javelin looked shocked from the news. He tried for a moment to find some words, but found nothing. He blinked in astonishment for several seconds before shaking his head clear and finding his voice.
"B-but... this whole time? Why? What do they even get out of that? If they didn't love you in the first place, why pretend to as somepony else?" Javelin questioned.
"She said that they only wanted to check on me to make sure I was okay... and then, somehow they just... started enjoying spending time with me. That turned into something more, and before they knew it, they actually liked me and wanted a relationship with me." Anon elaborated.
"S-so... they actually fell for you after pretending to be somepony else? How... what did they think was gonna happen? That they were just gonna live that lie for the rest of your life? That you'd have four mares with two just happening to never be in the room at the same time as the others?" Javelin pressed.
"I don't fucking know!" Anon exclaimed, before letting out a shuddering breath, "I'm sorry... I just... I don't know."
Javelin frowned. He walked over to the side of the couch Anon wasn't sitting on and hopped up beside him. He placed his hoof on Anon's back and gently pat his back a few times before sighing.
"Alright, I got you, dude. Do you want to just vent, or do you want solutions?" Javelin asked.
"What?" Anon asked.
"I know how annoying it can be if you just wanna be upset for a bit and ponies keep trying to give you the solution. Sometimes, you gotta just let the anger and depression run its course before you start solving shit. So I'm asking if you want to just be upset, and I'll try to be as supportive as I can, or if you want to try to find solutions, in which case I'm also here for you." Javelin explained.
"Fuck, man... a bit of both, I guess." Anon shrugged.
Javelin chuckled, "Well... I'm not sure how much help I'll be... this is way above my paygrade... but I am here if you need anything." Javelin offered.
Anon sniffled as he nodded, "Thanks, man."
.
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Celestia paced back and forth in the throne room, a deep frown visible on her brow. She was slowly beginning to wear a pattern in the floor with her constant pacing, making Raven frown in concern as she observed from beside the actual throne. Even though they were only accompanied by a pair of guards in the massive room, it felt disturbingly quiet, save for the constant clopping of Celestia's hooves on the hard marble floor.
"P-princess? Are you alright?" Raven asked, her voice just a few octaves above a whisper, yet it sounded like a shout in the deathly quiet room.
Celestia paused mid-step. Her gaze, having been locked to the floor in front of her thusfar, slowly lifted and turned to look up to the secretary. Immediately, Raven felt a wave of deep concern wash over her at the sight of Celestia's bloodshot and barely open eyes.
"I... I think for once I'll have to say no. No, I'm not alright." Celestia muttered, sadly.
"What happened?" Raven quickly questioned, hopping off the throne steps and rushing to Celestia's side.
The solar princess, who looked anything but regal, lethargically looked over to her guards as Raven approached.
"Could you both please excuse us for a bit?" She asked, politely, yet with a clearly strained voice.
Both guards immediately saluted, "Of course, your highness." They barked in unison, before trotting out of the room.
Celestia watched them go until they were completely out of sight, as if to delay speaking with Raven for as long as possible. Once the stallions were gone, she slowly turned back to the secretary, a melancholy look in her eyes.
"Princess?" Raven pressed, easily seeing the dread in Celestia's eyes.
Celestia sighed before slouching to her haunches. Her wings fell limp at her sides, and she hung her head low, to the point where her crown fell off of her head, only to be snatched out the the air by Raven's quick magic. The secretary swiftly repositioned the regalia back on the princesses head, ensuring it wouldn't fall off again.
"Thank you." Celestia mumbled.
"Princess, what has gotten into you? I haven't seen you this depressed... I don't think ever . What happened?" Raven questioned, a small sense of panic in her voice.
"Anon is gone, Raven." Celestia said, simply.
"Gone? What do you mean 'gone'? Did he run off with Sergeant Javelin again?" Raven questioned.
"No, Raven. He left this morning. Last night... he found out about Luna and I being Nightshade and Sunshine. He left while I was asleep." Celestia admitted.
Raven's eyes widened, and her jaw nearly dropped, "What? B-but... how did he find out?" She asked.
"Luna kissed him last night. She realized the rather compromising position she put herself in only after it happened. Then... when Anon demanded answers, she admitted everything to him." Celestia elaborated.
Raven took a step back, "I... I'm so sorry, Princess."
"Don't be. This whole situation is my fault. I'm the one that went down there as Sunshine and let my hormones and dry spell get the better of me... I'm the one that pushed Luna to do the same... I'm the one who took that poor creature's heart and squashed it between my hooves," Celestia shakily sighed, "It's only fitting that I shouldn't get to see him before he leaves." She muttered, shaking her head in disappointment.
"B-but, Princess, surely you couldn't have known how things would turn out-" Raven started.
"Please don't try to excuse my behavior for me, Raven. Please... this whole ordeal has been my fault. From signing the law and forgetting about it in the first place, to lying to the only mortal I've genuinely come to want a relationship with in over a thousand years... it's all my fault. I don't deserve excuses." Celestia cut her off, hanging her head low once more.
Raven frowned, hard, "Princess, please listen to me! Yes, you've made some mistakes, but you're not a bad pony. This whole situation with the law isn't your fault. You wrote that seven hundred years ago, while you were still grieving over Luna's banishment. Nopony should be fit to write laws of any kind in that state of mind, but you did your duty well for a thousand years! The situation with Anon might be rough right now, but he's a smart colt, I'm sure he can see why you wouldn't just tell him how you felt upfront. He's honestly one of the most reasonable stallions I've ever met, if not, the most reasonable." She argued.
"I appreciate what you're trying to do, Raven. Really, I do. I just don't think I want to hear it right now." Celestia replied.
Raven bit her lip, "With all due respect, Princess, I think that's why you need to hear it even more. Not coming from your secretary, but as your friend, I know you're a good pony. The situation might be bucked right now, but I know you'll find out how to fix it and win Anon back. From what I've seen, he genuinely liked Sunshine and Nightshade to the point of wanting a serious relationship with them! With you! Just because it came crumbling down doesn't mean it can't be rebuilt." She explained, standing her ground.
Celestia mirthlessly chuckled, "Raven, I truly do appreciate your candor and kindness... but I think it's misplaced. The situation with Anon is ruined... and I've irreparably damaged his trust in both myself and my sister. As much as I would love for him to understand why I did what I did... the fact remains that I was in the wrong. The path to evil is paved with good intentions, as they say."
Celestia pushed herself back up to her hooves, although her head remained low.
"Princess..." Raven pleaded.
"I think... I wish to have some time alone with my thoughts, Raven. Please inform everypony that I will not be seeing anypony for the rest of the day... possibly the rest of the week. Then please take the rest of the day off." Celestia said, turning to the throne room door.
Raven reached out to stop her, but before she could touch the alicorn, she paused. Celestia trudged away, leaving Raven there to drop her hoof back to the floor with a dejected sigh. With the princess gone, Raven found herself thinking over her words again and again.
"There has to be a way to salvage this situation, there just has to." Raven muttered, biting her lip in thought.
The secretary unicorn paced around in the empty throne room for a few minutes as she pondered.
"Where could Anon have run off to? His old home? No, no... I'm sure he probably wants to avoid the princesses and everything they represent right now... they gave him that property, so it's unlikely that he'd want to step ho-er, foot in there. Where else could he have gone?" She questioned, falling into the same hoofsteps Celestia wore into the floor earlier.
"What about friends? Aside from Javelin, I don't think Anon has any friends... well... maybe that's putting it too harshly. Still, out of ponies he trusts, the Sergeant is probably the only one left," She paused in her pacing, "Well I suppose that's my lead then. I'll need to find where he lives in the records, but first-" She turned to the door, "I need to go sort these nobles out for the rest of the day."
With that, Raven headed off toward the throne room doors, her mind set, and determination in every step.
Author's Note
Hehe secretary pone go brrrr
All's Fair in Love and War
Chapter 26: Picking Up the Pieces
Raven trotted along the sidewalk in one of the many streets lining the middle district of Canterlot. With a parchment held in her magical grasp, and Javelin's address written in front of her, she quickly made her way toward her destination. Upon reaching the intersection, the secretary looked back and forth before crossing the road and entering the cul-de-sac. She passed by a few identical houses before arriving at her destination and trotting up to the front door.
She politely knocked on the door several times and waited for a response. After a few seconds, she heard hoofsteps through the door and the lock unlock. Javelin pulled the door open, recoiling back slightly in shock upon seeing who was at his door.
"R-Miss Inkwell? What's uh... what's going on?" Javelin asked, forcing a smile.
"Hello, Sergeant. You know you can just call me Raven, right? I think we're acquainted enough to at least be on a first name basis," Raven chuckled, prompting Javelin to laugh with her, "But in all seriousness, I could really use your help. Have you seen Anon?" She asked, a bit of worry leaking into her voice.
Javelin pursed his lips and shook his head, "Uh, no... no I can't say that I have... why? What's wrong?" He inquired.
Raven looked at Javelin curiously, "You haven't heard?"
"Heard what?" Javelin asked.
"That Anon left the castle. Apparently the princesses were lying to him. Pretending to be ponies they're not and such." Raven probed, her eyes squinting suspiciously.
Javelin awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck, "W-well, I can't really say. I just woke up this morning and was told I could go home and well... if you get time off, you should really take it in this job, you know?" He sheepishly grinned.
Raven frowned, "Since when were you the type to take time off and actually enjoy a day off? You worked your flank off to get Sergeant."
Javelin chuckled, "W-well the other night did leave me a bit bruised and sore, in my defense."
Raven raised an eyebrow, "I see... So you're saying that you haven't seen him at all today, then?"
"Nope. Haven't seen a hair of Anon today. If he shows up, I'll be sure to let you or somepony up at the castle know." Javelin offered.
Raven gave him a deadpan look that lasted for almost a full minute. A small bead of sweat formed on the corner of Javelin's brow, and his eyes darted around to look anywhere but at the unicorn standing in front of him.
"Javelin, either you let me in to see him, or I'm going to teleport in." Raven announced, her expression unchanged.
"See who? I-I live alone." Javelin replied.
Raven slowly raised her eyebrow, her horn igniting in a bright white light. Seeing that it was a losing battle, Javelin let out a long sigh.
"Alright, alright. Come in. You'll just freak him out if you teleport inside." He relented, stepping out of the doorway.
Raven nodded and extinguished the teleportation spell as she trotted into Javelin's living room. She quickly looked around the moderately decorated room, giving a small nod of approval, before turning back to face Javelin.
"Thank you. Now, where is he?" She asked.
Javelin shook his head in defeat, "He's in the kitchen. Told him I'd make him a margarita to help him feel better."
Raven raised an eyebrow once more.
"What!? It's not like the poor colt doesn't deserve it after the shit night he had." Javelin asserted, walking toward the kitchen.
Raven rushed to catch up to the stallion, "I'm not saying he doesn't deserve some comfort, but alcohol? Really? At this hour? It's not even noon."
"Not the first time for us." Javelin shrugged.
Raven rolled her eyes as the duo arrived at the kitchen entrance. Immediately, the secretary saw the man she was looking for, sitting at the counter with four empty glasses beside him and a fifth in his hand as he joylessly sipped at it through a straw.
"Faust's sake, Javelin! Five drinks before noon?" Raven exclaimed, looking to the guardstallion with a frown.
"Hey! Relax, two of those are mine!" Javelin retorted.
Raven facehoofed as she sighed through her nostrils, "This is gonna be a long day."
"Well, like I said, the poor colt deserves something nice after what happened." Javelin offered.
Raven quickly composed herself before walking over to Anon.
"Anon, I need to talk with you. Are you alright?" She asked, looking up to him curiously.
The man in question didn't respond. He lifelessly continued to sip away at his drink while his gaze stayed locked on the countertop in front of him.
Raven slowly looked over to Javelin with a concerned frown on her face.
"He's been like this for a little bit now. I'm trying my best to help him break out of it, but... well you can see how that's going." Javelin shrugged.
Raven returned her attention to Anon. She noticed the stool next to him was vacant, and after a moment of thought, she clambered onto the stool to sit at nearly eye level with him.
"Anon? Anon, listen to me, we need to talk, okay? Are you listening to me?" Raven asked, tapping on Anon's shoulder with her hoof.
Once again, no response. With a frustrated sigh, the secretary ignited her horn, pulled the drink from Anon's hand, and spun his chair until he was facing her. The sudden movement startled Anon out of his stupor, and he quickly looked up at the white unicorn sitting in front of him.
"Anon. We need to talk." Raven declared, seeing his eyes now focus on hers.
Anon let out a long sigh, that turned into a groan as he brought his hand to his face and pinched the bridge of his nose. Raven and Javelin shared a quick look as Anon slowly pulled his hand away and looked at her.
"No." He stated, flatly.
"No!? What do you mean 'no'?" Raven exclaimed, defensively.
"I know why you're here, and the answer's no." Anon replied, his tone the same as before.
"Anon I haven't even asked anything of you. I have a rough understanding of the situation but I need to know your side of the story. Please." Raven asked, giving him her best puppy dog eyes.
Anon held her gaze for almost a full minute before rolling his eyes and sighing heavily, "God damn it. Fuck you for using that on me."
"I'm sorry, Anon, but I need to know what happened from you. It's the only way I can at least start to fix this whole situation." Raven replied.
"There's nothing to fix. It's over. I'm done with both of them." Anon asserted, a biting edge in his voice.
Raven recoiled back ever so slightly, "Anon, I know the Princesses messed up, but can you please tell me exactly what happened last night? Princess Celestia was so distraught this morning that she barely told me anything. I want to hear your side of the story." She countered.
"Good." Anon growled.
"Anon, come on." Raven pressed.
"Fine. You wanna know what happened? Luna kissed me. When I confronted her about it after she ran away from me, she told me everything. She told me that both her and Celestia were pretending to be Sunshine and Nightshade from the very start. That they've been going on dates with me and lying to me this entire time. That's what fucking happened. Happy now?" Anon bitterly recalled.
Raven frowned at Anon's language and tone, but pressed on regardless, "Okay, so the princesses lied to you about who they were. Did they also lie about how they felt?" She questioned.
"What does that even have to do with it?" Anon retorted.
"I'm asking if they were also lying about how they felt about you when they were pretending to be Sunshine and Nightshade. Lying about who they were is one thing, but lying about how you made them feel is something else entirely." Raven explained.
"Don't you get it? It was all a fucking lie! From the very start they've been using me so they can just fuck without having to worry about another pony trying to force them into a marriage with them like they did with me! Nothing was ever real!" Anon exclaimed, his volume quickly rising.
"Anon, please calm down just a bit. I understand you're angry. I understand that you're frustrated. I'm not trying to change your mind or convince you that you were wrong about them and that you should go running back into their hooves, but I am trying to make sure that all of the information is clearly understood here." Raven replied, holding her hooves out in a placating manner.
"There's nothing to understand. They're both pathological liars," Anon took another swig of his drink, "Worst part... is that my dumb ass saw all the signs and didn't call them out on it." He hung his head low.
Raven and Javelin shared another look of concern.
"I just wanted to believe so badly that I finally found a pony that actually liked me. That I wouldn't actually end up dying alone without having someone to love... I wanted to believe in that crap so badly that I just didn't want to notice, I guess." Anon elaborated, his gaze lost in his drink.
"Anon... I'm so sorry that you feel that way... but I do think that there is a way that we can work this out and everypony, you included, can be happy." Raven offered, gently putting her hoof on Anon's back.
The gentle caress wasn't unwelcome, but Anon quickly shrugged Raven's hoof off of his back as he turned to look her in the eyes once more.
"What do you want me to say? That I actually really do like them both and I want them back? That the last month was the best month of my life because I finally got a taste of what love feels like? That Luna told me that they both feel the same way? None of it matters anymore. If they'd been honest with me from the start, I would be with them right now. Instead, they went around behind my back and lied to me every single time I was with them! How can I ever trust them again? How can I trust that what they're saying isn't just a lie to get me to stay while they pretend to love me long enough for me to die off and then they can just get back to the status quo?!" Anon questioned, raising his voice again.
"Anon, I'm not going to defend what the princesses did. It was wrong, and all of us can see that... but if you'd seen Celestia this morning... you wouldn't be doubting if they felt the same. I've been serving as her assistant for ten years. She has literally never been as depressed and sad as what I saw today. Luna spent the entire night crying unconsolably in the observatory. They did some horrible things to you... but their feelings for you aren't lies. That may be the only part of them that you know that isn't a lie." Raven explained, sincerely.
Anon shook his head, "So what? Even if they actually do feel the same way about me, the trust is gone. Dead. Obliterated. Fucking nuked. There's so much god damn baggage with those two, it just makes the whole thing seem like a fucking death sentence, not a genuine relationship."
"Anon, they're the princesses of Equestria. They literally move the sun and moon around the planet. Of course there's going to be a lot of baggage with them. You can't tell me you accepted the position thinking that you were just going to go out on normal dates and do normal couple things? You were in a relationship with two immortal ponies who've seen more than almost all of Equestria combined. Does that make them overly untrusting and hard to read? On occasion, yes. Neither of them trusted you until you showed them that you weren't just a stallion who wanted the fame and glory of saying you were bedding them. Unfortunately... I suppose it was just too late at that point. They were already committed to the lie." Raven surmised, sadly shaking her head.
Anon scoffed, "You know, for saying that you aren't here to excuse what they did, you sure are going out of your way to defend them."
Raven frowned, "Anon, I'm only trying to make sure you understand the 'why' they did what they did. I may be a bit biased, but that tends to happen when you work with somepony for long enough to see them sacrifice every ounce of themselves for everypony else. Both Celestia and Luna may not be perfect... hay, they might be just as fallible as any of us or even worse... but there's one thing I know for a fact about them. Neither one of them wanted to hurt you." She replied.
"Yeah? Well that ship has sailed. I'm done with them. Permanently." Anon muttered.
Raven sighed quietly to herself, "I understand, Anon. I think you're right to be angry, and they don't deserve to be let off the hook either... but I also think you're making a mistake. I'll leave you alone." She said, before hopping off of her chair and walking toward the door.
Anon didn't so much as watch her leave, instead opting to finish off his drink and rest his head on the countertop with a low groan.
Javelin rushed over to the door with Raven, his lips pursed in thought. Once they reached the doorway, Raven used her magic to open the door and stepped out into the sunlight, her brow knitted in thought. Javelin walked up beside her, a look of concern on his face as he observed the secretary. He quickly closed the door behind them and cleared his throat.
"I know that look, Raven. What're you thinking?" Javelin asked, cautiously.
Raven shook her head, "I don't know. I feel for Anon, I really do. The princesses have completely destroyed his trust in them to the point where he won't even consider that they actually do love him." She surmised.
"Love is a bit of a strong word, wouldn't you say?" Javelin questioned.
"I know what I saw this morning. You don't get that depressed over a month long fling that you didn't see the next half a century with. Especially when you've been around long enough to watch a dozen of your lovers die. Even if Celestia herself doesn't realize it... she's in love with Anon. Luna probably is too. Last I heard she was still in her room, basically unwilling to eat or speak to anypony." Raven explained.
Javelin raised an eyebrow, "Really? Wow... I... I didn't think they were that attached to him already. I mean, obviously they like him a lot, but to love him already? They fell for him hard." He shook his head.
Raven nodded, "They're from a time when ponies only lived to twenty... maybe thirty. For them, a month long relationship might as well be a year, at least, as far as relationships are concerned. Still... there has to be a way to salvage this. I just know there has to. Anon won't forgive them for a while, that much is clear." She sighed.
"A while? Raven, I wouldn't be surprised if he held a grudge until the day he dies." Javelin replied.
Raven stomped her hoof on the ground, "Well he shouldn't! I know they screwed up! Tartarus, they know they screwed up! I want Anon to be happy as much as you do, but I also want the princesses to be happy. They love him, and you know what, I think Anon loves them too. He's just too hurt to admit it right now." She asserted, firmly.
Javelin recoiled back slightly, "Raven, Anon is brokenhearted. These things take time to fix. It's not like you can just cast a spell to fix the damage to his trust in them."
Raven sighed heavily, "I know that. I know... but I don't want either Celestia or Luna to have to marry some snobby noble that wants to just use them for his own political gain. You know as well as I do that any herd that merges the princesses of Equestria into it will become the single most powerful herd in the land. At least with Anon... I knew that he genuinely wanted the best for everypony involved. I can't say that about the nobles that would try to take his place."
Javelin let out a long, low whistle, "Wow... I didn't think you cared that much, to be honest, Raven."
Raven shook her head, "At first, I didn't... but then when I saw how happy he made them both... when I saw how they started acting like little fillies excited for their first date when they'd go out with him... it gave me hope that this whole crappy situation might just work out. He grew on me... and I think that the way that he'll be happiest is if he gets back together with them."
"Raven, I don't think he'd trust them enough to get back together with them." Javelin responded.
"Well then we need to convince him to give them one more chance. If they ever lie to him again, then I'll leave them too! I don't care what it takes, I want my friends to be happy again, and the happiest I ever saw them was when they were all together!" Raven declared, raising her voice.
Javelin held up his hooves in defense, "Alright, alright... well what can we do then? I mean... you saw how well Anon's taking it. You said Celestia is depressed as Tartarus and Luna is somehow even worse off. What do we do?" He asked.
"I'm... not sure. I was hoping that Anon wasn't going to shut down everything I even tried to suggest... I know he's hurting, but if he just knew how much he meant to the princesses, I think he'd really start to realize that yeah, they bucked up, but they want to fix it. They want to fix it more than they want to sleep or eat, at least." Raven reasoned.
"Well... the first step is admitting what you did was wrong, right? So what if we got them together in a room just so that they could apologize? No trying to change his mind, or get him back, just an honest, genuine apology." Javelin suggested, with a shrug.
Raven sighed, "I don't know... how are we even going to get them all together in the same place?"
Javelin scratched his chin in thought. After a moment, he had an idea, "I'm not too sure if we can get both princesses at the same time, but when's their next public appearance together?" He asked.
Raven tapped her chin in thought, "Well... they have a ribbon cutting ceremony at the opening of that new aquarium next week." She replied.
"Well what if while they're there, I bring Anon over and we lock them in a room to talk?" Javelin suggested.
"You want to lock the princesss of the sun and moon , the royal diarchs of Equestria, and our bosses, in a room with a man that hates both of them?" Raven deadpanned.
Javelin sheepishly shrugged.
Raven sighed, "You know what, that might just be crazy enough to work."
"Really?" Javelin excitedly asked.
"Only if I can get somepony else to show up as well." Raven shook her head.
"Who?"
"You'll see if I can get a letter to her in time." Raven answered.
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Anon watched the last of the sun's rays as the ball of orange light drifted down to the edge of the horizon and out of sight. Blood red light bathed the sky as Anon sat on a bench, facing the ocean to watch the spectacle. He was wearing a black hoodie, and deep blue jeans. His hands lay resting on his things as he chewed his tongue in thought.
For an unknown amount of time, Anon sat there watching the sunset as it lay, frozen in it's descent. He idly pinched his thumb with one hand, and let out a long, quiet sigh.
"Go away." He muttered, his voice still sounding as if it were at full volume.
Behind him, Luna froze mid-step. She put her hoof back down on the ground and sat on her haunches.
"You knew I was here?" She asked, her voice strained.
"I heard you teleport in. Please... just leave." Anon replied, still looking ahead.
"Anon... please let me speak. I just want to explain myself. Once I'm done, I'll leave you alone as long as you wish, I swear it." Luna pleaded, stepping toward him.
Anon shook his head and scoffed, "You already explained yourself. I don't see what else you want to explain now." He answered.
"If you'll just give me the chance, I'll tell you." Luna said, stepping toward him once more.
Anon sighed through his nose, "Fine."
He turned his head to see Luna as she stepped up next to the bench. It was clear from her appearance that she was not faring well. Her mane no longer billowed and flowed in a mysterious intangible wind. Instead, it was a ragged mess of split ends, and knots. The stars lining her ethereal mane were no longer present, and it almost appeared as if it was just normal hair. Her coat was unkempt and dirty, while she wore none of her regalia at all.
Anon frowned almost imperceptivity as he took in her appearance, but said nothing as she sat down on her haunches in front of him. The lunar alicorn took a moment to collect her thoughts, before speaking once more.
"Anon... I know Tia and I hurt you... and we don't deserve to be forgiven. We lied to you... pretended to be ponies that we aren't... and I can't even pretend to know how much that hurt you. Having said that... I just... I wanted you to know that we just wanted to make sure that you were okay... it was never supposed to go as far as it did. When... when we change back into our old forms, it becomes difficult to think as we do now. We think as young mares in their prime just before an estrus season... not that that excuses it." Luna explained, her eyes cast down to the ground.
Anon nodded once but said nothing, prompting Luna to continue, "Once Tia invited you out for a second date... the situation became so much more complicated. Of course, I'm not absolving myself of blame... I went to see you as Nightshade on my own accord, but... please believe me when I say I truly only wanted to make sure you were alright. You seemed so stressed after your first day with Raven and after everything I had put you through, I just... I didn't want you to be sad anymore. I knew all too well what it felt like to be an outcast in a strange world." Luna continued.
Anon pursed his lips as he looked over Luna's sad form before him. After a moment, he finally spoke.
"That night, in the park. When you let me hug you... was any of that real?" He asked, quietly.
"Every second of it. Anon... the only difference between when I was with you as myself and when I was with you as Nightshade at that point, was my appearance... everything else was the same." Luna responded, slowly looking up to Anon.
Anon nodded, "So why keep up the lie? Why not just say that Nightshade and Sunshine had to go away forever or some shit? Why keep pretending to be someone else?"
"Because we didn't want to break your heart. Anon... I tried so many times to tell you the truth... but every time it felt like some invisible force kept me from being honest with you. I don't know why we did the things we did, but if Tia and I could go back and fix everything... we would. I know that doesn't make it right, nothing ever will. Please just know that we were going to tell you. We agreed to stop lying to you come the end of estrus... we wanted to be sure we were both in clear minds when we told you the truth, and we certainly didn't want to see you as Nightshade or Sunshine while we were in heat." Luna clarified.
Anon nodded, apparently satisfied with the answer, "So you only wanted to lie for two more weeks, then. Very redeeming."
Luna hung her head low once more, "I'm so sorry, Anon. We just wanted to make sure we could explain it to you without breaking your heart... Clearly we failed in that regard. I... I don't have any more to say. No more excuses to make. Just... please know that both my sister and I care for you very much... and even if you hate us, we will always welcome you back with open hooves."
"I think I'd like for you to leave now, Luna." Anon replied, looking up to the sunset once more.
"I understand... have a good night, Anon." Luna responded, getting to her hooves.
The dark alicorn held her head low as she walked past the man sitting quietly on the bench. She quickly ignited her horn and teleported out of Anon's dream, leaving it in perfect silence. Only then could his tears finally fall.
Author's Note
:'(
All's Fair in Love and War
Chapter 27: Public and Private Appearences
Two Weeks Later
Celestia squirmed ever so slightly in her throne as she presided over the dozens of mares in her court, all angrily shouting and cursing at the guards that wouldn't let them any closer to the sun princess.
"Why are all of our stallions in jail!?" One mare cried.
"They're good boys! They didn't do it!" Another shouted.
"Princess, are you just keeping them all for yourself!?"
Celestia continued to squirm ever so slightly in her chair, the burning heat in her loins making it difficult for her to focus on the scene in front of her. Were any of the mares closer, they might have even noticed their princess essentially rubbing herself off against her throne.
Celestia bit her lip and closed her eyes as another wave of heat washed over her, making her wings tremble lightly. Slowly, the tremor calmed, allowing her to reopen her eyes and focus more on the shouting mares in front of her. Even though the microrelease sent a small wave of pleasure coursing through her body, she still felt completely hollow inside. Her gaze empty and faded as if to highlight that fact.
"All this right at the start of heat season! Princess, we want answers!" Yet another mare exclaimed.
Raven looked over to Celestia with a frown, "Princess, are you alright? You haven't allowed any of them onto the podium to speak their case since nine... and it's been over an hour... we'll have to leave soon for the opening at this rate."
Celestia absently shook her head with a noticeable jitter, "I am... fine, Raven... just dealing with my own heat at the moment. Waiting for a lull in tremors so I can pay attention at all." She whispered.
Raven nodded sympathetically, "I understand. If it weren't for my cooler, I'd be in the same situation. If you want, I can cancel for the day and we can get you one too, Princess." She offered.
"N-no, no. These ponies are angry enough, and if we delay any longer, they'll be even angrier. I need to c-calm them down now." Celestia replied.
Now turning her attention to Lieutenant Valorant, Celestia cleared her throat and beckoned the unicorn closer.
"Lieutenant, we can continue Day Court. Please send forward the first petitioner." She ordered.
"Of course, Princess." Lieutenant Valorant replied, before turning to the crowd, "The first petitioner may now step forward! Upper Crust, approach the podium!" She bellowed, her voice carrying all the way across the hall.
A tan unicorn mare with a two toned mane of white and violet quickly trotted up to the podium.
"Welcome, Upper Crust. What troubles you, my little pony?" Celestia asked, eyeing the mare curiously.
Upper Crust cleared her throat before looking at Celestia with a glare, "My husband, your highness," She began, her words already laced with venom, "He was unjustly arrested two weeks ago, and I want his release."
A chorus of agreement and similar demands rang out through the crowd. The voices quickly rose in volume until there was nothing but incoherent shouting echoing from the group of angry ponies.
"SILENCE !" Lieutenant Valorant screamed, her voice surpassing even the shouts of the entire crowd.
A few hushed whispers left the crowd, but otherwise not a peep. Even Celestia rubbed her ear after the lieutenant's outburst.
"Thank you, Lieutenant." Celestia said, after a moment, before returning her attention to the pony on the podium, "Upper Crust, do you know what your husband is charged with? What, I assume all of your husbands are charged with?" She asked, looking at the rest of the crowd with a barely restrained sigh.
Upper Crust nodded, "I do, Princess. I also know that there is no way in Tartarus that my sweet Jet went down to a bar in the lower district, to attack your consort." She asserted, turning her nose up.
Celestia winced slightly at the mention of Anon, before letting out a quiet sigh, "I'm afraid that your husband, along with the other two dozen or so stallions arrested last week are all facing that charge, regardless of how 'likely' you may believe it to be. The ponice are conducting a thorough investigation into what happened, and once they're done, there will be a hearing to determine whether or not the ponies currently in jail were responsible or not. Due to my own relations with the victim, I will be recusing myself from the judgement." She explained, calmly.
"That's a load of horseapples!" One of the mares shouted.
"We want our stallions back!"
"It's Estrus season! My heat came in a week and a half ago and my hubby is in jail! This is wrong!"
"How can you keep stallions in jail?! They're so defenseless without a mare to take care of them!"
Celestia discreetly rolled her eyes at the shouting before plugging her ears with her wingtips. Just a moment later, Lieutenant Valorant screamed over the crowd once more.
"ENOUGH! SILENCE! IF YOU WISH TO ADDRESS THE CROWN, YOU WILL WAIT FOR YOUR TURN! WE WILL NOT TOLERATE AN ANGRY MOB IN THE CASTLE!" She shouted, her voice once again silencing the crowd.
Several ponies rubbed their ears once the lieutenant was finished, prompting a slight smirk to form on the unicorn's face as she returned to the position of attention, in front of Celestia.
"Thank you, Lieutenant." Celestia gratefully spoke up, after a few seconds of silence.
Once Lieutenant Valorant gave a nod of acknowledgement, Celestia addressed the crowd once more, "Now, I'm sure you're all concerned about your stallions. Rest assured that they are being treated fairly, are being fed, and are being guarded to insure they aren't harmed. The details of the situation last week will be revealed once the investigation is complete. Until then, please return to your homes. I promise that the ponice are conducting their work as quickly as they can." She explained.
Upper Crust frowned as she turned back toward the rest of the crowd, her lips pursed as she accepted the news. With a heavy sigh, the mare made her way back to the group and promptly exited the building. The rest of the mares soon followed, leaving the hall completely empty within a matter of minutes. Raven and Celestia shared a look, before Celestia slumped in her throne and sighed heavily.
"Those stallions just had to attack Anon and Javelin the day before estrus, didn't they?" Celestia groaned.
"It seems that they may have planned it for just this possibility. Maybe they hoped you would cave and release them if enough mares came storming into the castle, demanding to know why all of their stallions were in jail." Raven offered.
"He's a crafty one, that Comet Star. I'll give him that. Raven, do we have any more petitioners today?" Celestia replied.
"I don't believe so, Princess." Raven answered.
Celestia sluggishly sat up and got to her hooves, "Then I believe I will be adjourning day court early today. If any other ponies show up later in the day, please have them return tomorrow." She announced.
"Of course, Princess." Raven replied, getting up to follow the solar princess.
The pair was quickly joined by Lieutenant Valorant as they exited the throne room and headed toward Celestia's private office. They passed through several corridors in silence until reaching their destination. Raven watched as Celestia trudged into her office and sat down at her desk, burying herself in paperwork for the second day in a row. The secretary looked over to the Lieutenant with a frown, finding the mare already standing guard, her eyes forward.
"Lieutenant?" Raven asked.
"Yes, Miss Inkwell?" Lieutenant Valorant replied, her eyes darting over to the white unicorn for just a millisecond.
"Would you mind if I spoke with Princess Celestia in private for a few moments?" Raven inquired.
"Of course." Lieutenant Valorant replied, stepping away from the door and allowing Raven access to the room.
Raven nodded in thanks before heading inside and closing the door behind her. She turned to Celestia, finding her muzzle buried deep in paperwork that seemed to be draining her already exhausted energy even further. Raven took a moment to organize her thoughts, before politely clearing her throat to get Celestia's attention. The discreet gesture didn't so much as elicit a glance from the solar diarch, making Raven frown.
"Princess?" She asked.
"Hmm?" Celestia responded, finally looking up from her work.
"Princess, I wanted to go over the appearance you scheduled today at the aquarium opening down in the middle district. We're supposed to head out in half an hour, but since day court is already over, I think it would be in your best interest to go now." Raven suggested, carefully watching Celestia's expression.
Celestia looked back down at her work, "I'm not sure if I can spare the time right now, Raven. I have a lot of work I need to catch up on." She replied.
"Princess, with all due respect... you're more than caught up with your work for the next week. You spent eight straight hours yesterday doing paperwork... everything you have to finish is already done. At this point you're doing next week's work." Raven explained, approaching the desk.
Celestia looked at the dates on the paperwork in front of her and frowned, "I suppose I am... I must've got a little carried away with busying myself in work."
Raven nodded, "All the more reason for us to get to that aquarium opening, right?" She pressed.
Celestia slowly shook her head, "If I'm being honest, Raven... I don't know if I'm even going to go anymore. I'm just not really feeling up to it at the moment."
Raven quickly darted to the desk, "B-but, you have to!" She exclaimed, earning a puzzled look from the solar princess.
"Why? What's so important about this aquarium opening?" Celestia inquired, her brow furrowed in confusion.
Raven froze for a moment, "W-well, it's a massive tax investment for the middle district, and they've been petitioning for you and your sister to come down and visit for months now, and... and well, they deserve an appearance. It'll only be for an hour or so." She quickly explained.
Celestia's frown deepened as her gaze fell down to her paperwork once more. Raven watched the sun princess purse her lips in thought, before eventually letting out a defeated sigh.
"I suppose that's a good enough reason. I can't promise that I'll spend more than an hour down there though. If I'm being honest, I'd much rather just do some more paperwork right now. It's a bit more soothing than putting on my fake smile and dealing with overly excited ponies cheering my name." Celestia said.
Raven breathed a small breath of relief, "Don't worry, Princess. It'll only take an hour. I'll go send out a letter to inform them of our arrival. Just a moment." She replied, her horn sparking to life as she took a piece of paper and and pencil from Celestia's desk.
Raven stepped over the desk and set the paper down on the corner of the desk. She rested her foreleg in front of the paper to block Celestia's view of what she was writing, before scribbling down a note.
~ Javelin, this is Raven. Celestia and I are going to be at the Aquarium in a few minutes. Get Anon over there ASAP. ~
Celestia arched an eyebrow as she looked over to her secretary, but couldn't see exactly what she was writing.
"Is your foreleg alright, Raven?" Celestia inquired.
Raven looked up as she finished writing, "What? Of course, I'm fine." Raven replied, folding the paper in her magic as she got back to her hooves.
"I've just never seen you write with your foreleg up on the desk like that before. It didn't look comfortable." Celestia shrugged, noncommittedly.
Raven quickly teleported the letter away, "Oh... um, I'm not sure. Just stretching a bit I suppose. Going back to day court these last couple days after a week off has me feeling a bit tired." She half-heartedly assured.
Celestia nodded as she got out of her chair and to her hooves, "I can understand that sentiment. I'm sure it's been obvious to you, but I haven't exactly had much energy these last few days either." She admitted, as if there weren't obvious bags under her eyes.
Raven bit her lip, "W-well, have you been sleeping well, Princess?" She asked, already well aware of the answer.
Celestia chuckled mirthlessly, "I think you already know the answer to that."
"Right, sorry." Raven replied.
"Think nothing of it, Raven. Let's just go get this over with so we can both get a little rest once we're back at the castle." Celestia responded, turning for the door.
"Right... we need to get your sister too." Raven added, following after Celestia.
"Right you are. Come along then, let's go wake her." Celestia acknowledged, turning for Luna's chambers.
The unicorn and alicorn quickly made their way through the castle halls and arrived at the lunar princesses chambers. Celestia politely knocked on the door a few times, earning a muffled groan and sigh through the door in response. A few moments passed as hoofsteps barely echoed past the doorway, before Luna pulled her door open and looked at Celestia and Raven with bloodshot eyes.
"What?" Luna mumbled.
Her mane and tail were a mess, and her coat looked grimy, as if she hadn't bathed in days. The smell of unquenched estrus quickly permeated through the air to Raven's nose, making her muzzle wrinkle as she tried not to think about how both sisters were now bathing her in their pheromones'. She felt a wave of concern quickly wash over her at the dark alicorns appearance, but Celestia simply took her sister's visage in as if she was used to seeing her like this.
"We need to go to the Aquarium opening, sister. Could you please get ready and meet us at the chariot?" Celestia asked.
Luna let out a small whinny of dissatisfaction, "Must we go to that opening now? I thought it was scheduled for later in the morning. I only just went to sleep a few hours ago."
"It'll only be for an hour, Lulu. Trust me... I'm not exactly thrilled to be going, myself, but we did agree to make an appearance." Celestia replied.
Luna rolled her eyes, "Fine... just give me a few minutes to shower and prepare." She relented.
Celestia nodded, before turning and heading toward the castle courtyard as Luna closed her door. Raven quickly trotted after her, a nervous expression crossing her face as they both made their way toward the front gate of the castle. They made their way through the grandiose hallways of the castle at a much slower pace than usual, mostly due to Celestia taking slower and smaller steps than usual. A few bows and salutes were cast her way, but the solar princess hardly even acknowledged the gestures of respect, instead opting to simply trudge ahead with a melancholy look on her face.
"Princess, I know you're still feeling down over Anon, but I still think there's a good chance he'll come around. You just need to tell him the truth about how you feel and what went wrong." Raven suddenly spoke up, earning a raised eyebrow from Celestia.
The alicorn let out a small huff, "Raven, I appreciate your advice, but even if I could somehow make Anon stay near me long enough to explain myself, all it would do is anger him further. I want nothing more than to make this right... even if that means that I lose him as a potential lover... I still want him in my life, but I don't think anything I say or do would make him want to come back within earshot of me." She replied, as the pair exited the castle and entered the front courtyard.
"But if you could get Anon in a room with you for just five minutes, would you tell him that? Would you tell him how you really feel?" Raven pressed.
Celestia paused mid-step and fixed Raven with a worried look, "Raven... why are these questions getting so specific?" She asked.
Raven blanched, "N-no reason. I just... there's a chance Anon might be there at the event and I wanted to make sure that if I was able to get you two a few minutes alone, that you'd be able to speak to him face to face." She explained.
Celestia scrutinized her secretary for almost a full minute before letting out a long sigh and turning toward the chariot already sitting at the front gate entrance, "Raven, please just don't try to force Anon to do anything. If he wants to leave the second he sees me or Luna, just let him. I don't want to hurt him anymore than I already have."
Raven felt her blood run cold, "W-what do you mean, Princess?" She sputtered.
"Raven, you're not quite as subtle as you think you are. I'll go to this aquarium opening, and I assume you have Javelin bringing Anon as a way to cheer him up or something. I'm sure you both arranged this in such a way to stick Anon and I into a room together to 'hash it out', as ponies say these days. Am I correct in making these assumptions?" Celestia asked, giving her a look of resignation.
"N-no?" Raven forced a smile.
Celestia sighed, "Come along. Let's just get this event over with."
With that, Celestia headed toward the chariot, Raven quickly breaking into a trot to catch up with her. The duo boarded the vehicle and prepared for takeoff. Within thirty seconds of boarding, a bright flash of light appeared next to Celestia, and Luna was suddenly sitting in her seat beside her sister, looking much more like herself, although she held a noticeable sadness in her eyes. A few moments later, the pegasai in front broke into a trot, and then a gallop, their wings flapping to life as they moved. The inertia pushed Raven into her seat, and she held on just a bit tighter as the first of the pegasai took flight, dragging the chariot up along with them.
The secretary forced herself not to look down as the vehicle ungulated slightly with each pegasus pulling from the front. As they continued to gain altitude, she felt a feathered wing wrap around her wither. She looked down to see the snow white appendage and the princess it belonged to.
"Still not a fan of flying, I see." Celestia let out slightly forced chuckle.
"I think I'd rather have my hooves on something solid." Raven replied, letting out a nervous chuckle.
"Worry not, we'll be there in just a few minutes." Celestia responded.
True to her word, the flight only lasted about five minutes before the chariot landed outside of the aquarium opening in the middle district. The pegasai quickly disconnected themselves from the vehicle and formed a perimeter around Celestia, Luna, and Raven as they all stepped down to the street below, the secretary noticeably more green than the princesses.
Celestia quickly made her way over to the front podium as ponies cheered and stomped their hooves in approval. She smiled brightly to the crowd, even going so far as to wave to some of the ponies nearby and stop for pictures with some of the closest guests, while Luna simply forced a small smile as she stayed near her sister. Their guards kept most ponies from getting within a hoof's length, but a few mares with foals were permitted to pass through and receive a moment of Celestia's time before the solar princess arrived at the podium in front of the entrance of the aquarium. Luna stayed noticeably away from the microphone and spotlight.
"Ah and there's our princesses now! Let's give another round of applause for Princess Celestia and Princess Luna!" The speaker announced, smiling broadly at the approaching princess.
Cheers and stomping hooves echoed out across the gathered ponies, sweeping them into a small frenzy as the white alicorn reached her position on the podium, next to the speaker. She quickly ushered Celestia over to the microphone while motioning for the crowd to quiet down for her speech.
Celestia approached the microphone and cleared her throat, "Good morning, my little ponies," She began, pausing for an uproar of cheers and excited shouting, "It's both an honor and a pleasure to be here today to help open this fine new addition to Canterlot, and what a fine addition it is! Canterlot's first aquarium will serve as a great place for foals to learn, and for all ponies to enjoy. I must say that I truly appreciate you all coming out here today, especially during heat. I know it's tough on all of us to not bend to our hormones, but from what I've seen, you've all been nothing but fantastic. So it is with great pleasure, that I officially open the Canterlot Sealife Aquarium." She announced, using her magic to cut the red tape in front of the doorway.
With that, the crowd erupted into a fit of cheers and stomping hooves. Celestia allowed a very small smile to grace her features as the ponies all made their way into the aquarium to explore the new exhibits and see the unique architecture of the aquatic themed building. As they all rushed past her with happy smiles on there faces, Celestia turned and made her way back over to Luna, Raven, the speaker, and the rest of her guard detail.
"Well, certainly not my finest speech, but I think it had the desired effect." Celestia nodded, speaking more to herself than anyone else.
"Oh, it was a fantastic speech, your highness!" The speaker exclaimed, "The crowd loved it! Thank you so much for coming down, it's truly an honor to have you here, both of you." She said, remembering to turn to Luna as well.
Luna simply rolled her eyes as Celestia dipped her head, "The pleasure is all mine. I suppose I needed to get out and do something with myself for a little while anyway. Now that I think on it... I don't believe I even looked at the aquarium during construction. I think I should like to peruse a little, if that's alright." She replied.
"Of course! By all means, Princess, go right ahead. I'll inform the staff to let you and your guards through."
"I appreciate it, although I think I'll just be taking my sister and secretary through. I wouldn't want to cause a disruption with our protection detail." Celestia responded.
"Of course, your highness. I'll go inform them now." The speaker replied, before rushing off toward the front door.
Luna raised an eyebrow, "Sister, I don't wish to go perusing the aquarium at the moment. I would much rather get to bed."
"Just join me for a little while, Lulu. Apparently... Anon will be arriving soon." Celestia requested, giving Luna a slightly pleading look.
Luna recoiled back as if she'd been struck, "Are you mad!? He wants to be left alone! He made it perfectly clear in his dream that he wants nothing to do with us!" She exclaimed.
"I know. You explained it clearly enough... and if he wants to leave, then he's free to do so... I just want an opportunity to apologize in person. I never got the chance..." Celestia trailed off.
Luna frowned, "B-but... why do you need me here?" She asked.
Celestia looked into her eyes, "Because you're my sister and I love you... and I want your support for when Anon inevitably says the most hurtful things he can think of."
Luna held her sister's gaze for a few moments before sighing quietly, "Fine. Let's just go get this over with."
"If it's any consolation, I brought help." Raven added.
Luna raised an eyebrow but before she could ask anything, Raven turned to Celestia.
"Are you ready, Princess?" She asked, looking up to her with worry in her eyes.
"I... no, I don't think I am... I don't think I'll ever be ready, to be honest... are you certain Anon is even going to be here?" Celestia inquired, longingly looking toward the entrance to the aquarium.
"Just waiting on Javelin to bring him in. We should go inside so that we don't spook him before he's even in the building." Raven replied.
"That's a good idea," Celestia solemnly nodded, before turning to the guards, "Sergeant, please return the chariot to the castle. I don't think we'll be needing it for the return journey."
"Yes, Princess!" The guard replied, snapping a salute before leading the squad of pegasai back to the chariot to leave.
"Well... let's get this over with." Celestia let out a sigh of resignation.
"I promise that we'll make things right, Princess. Just trust me." Raven offered, a sincere smile on her face.
Celestia held her gaze for a few precious moments before nodding once more and heading for the entrance, Raven close on her heels.
All's Fair in Love and War
Anon sluggishly followed behind as Javelin led him toward the Aquarium, the sounds of a cheering crowd reaching him long before he could see the building itself. He tried, in vain, to keep the sigh from escaping his lips as the sound of cheering raked at his ears. He looked down to Javelin, finding that the stallion walking in front of him was constantly swiveling his head back and forth, as if he was extremely worried about being attacked.
"What's gotten into you?" Anon asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Just, uh... keeping an eye out. You never know with mares this time of year..." Javelin chuckled, his voice coming out more like a worried laugh.
"If you're so worried about a mare jumping you, why did you try so hard to convince me to come out to this aquarium opening?" Anon questioned.
"Well duh? Because you've been a sad boy for the last couple weeks and as your friend, I'm trying to cheer you up! Now if you could just keep your voice down... they can hear the difference in tone between a mare and a stallion, you know?" Javelin replied, pushing himself against Anon's leg as they walked.
"Javelin, will you relax. We passed like, ten mares already and none of them even tried to get near you. You're overreacting." Anon sighed.
"That's only because they were far enough away that they couldn't smell me! Once we're in the aquarium, it's gonna get a lot more difficult. I'll only be able to stand around for a few minutes at each exhibit, so we'd better be quick at each one." Javelin replied, as the building came within sight.
Anon raised an eyebrow, "If this is gonna be such an issue for you, then why were you even trying so damn hard to get me to come out for this? It sounds like you'd be better off if we just chilled at your place like we have been."
Javelin shook his head defiantly, "Nope. You've been cooped in my house, drinking all my booze, and being a depressed mess for two whole weeks now. Time has come to get you back on your ho-feet. This isn't my first time being out in public during heat. I'll be alright... I hope." He responded.
Anon rolled his eyes, "Fine, whatever." He said, dropping the subject.
The pair quickly found themselves at the front of the building, along with dozens of mares all entering the aquarium with smiles on their faces. Noticeably absent, were the stallions, with the exception of Javelin, who was also sweating nervously as he kept his head on a swivel. A few mares turned to acknowledge him, their eyes locking onto him like he was a piece of meat, but at the way Javelin kept himself pressed almost right up against Anon's thigh, they hesitated to move forward.
The pony at the front entrance happily greeted the duo as they arrived, "Hi there! Welcome to the Canterlot Sealife Aquarium! It'll be five bits per pony." She cheerily greeted, doing her best to hide the fact that her tail was waving excitedly at the sight of two males.
Anon reached into his pocket and pulled out his coin pouch. He gave the mare ten bits and received two tickets in return. With a nod, Anon led the way into the building.
"Have a great time!" She called after them, her eyes lingering on Javelin as he rushed in after Anon.
"Thanks." Anon absentmindedly replied.
Upon entering the building, Anon saw dozens of displays of sea life and aquatic themes that made the inner child in him smile, even if it didn't quite reach his face. After a moment of observation, he looked down to Javelin.
"Well, what do you want to go see first?" He asked.
"Uh... let's go this way. I think I know where they put the shark exhibit and mares usually prefer dolphins." Javelin hastily replied, before trotting off down the hall.
"Woah, Jav, wait!" Anon called as he rushed after him.
Anon followed Javelin down the main hallway, and then several smaller hallways, all the while passing displays and signs explaining sea life or underwater ecosystems. However, soon enough, the signs ended and he was simply following Javelin down a long, empty hallway that looked more like the back of the building than anything else.
"Yo, Jav! Where are you going?!" Anon called, having to run to keep up with Javelin's pace.
"Uh... it's this way, I think!" Javelin called back, before finding the door he wanted and barging inside.
"Javelin this is the wrong way, dude! There's nothing even... down... here..." Anon trailed off as he reached the doorway as well.
Anon stood in front of what could only be a conference room, filled with a large "O" shaped desk that sat in the middle of the room. On one side of the desk, sat Raven and Celestia. Sitting opposite of them, was Luna. Anger instantly flashed through his mind, and right as he was about to react to the princesses presence, he noticed the other being in the room. A pink alicorn, unlike either Celestia or Luna in that her mane and tail were just normal hair, curled and combed to perfection. Her deep violet eyes looked at him with excitement and interest, and she wore a pleasant smile that appeared to genuinely reach her eyes. The look of honest happiness gave Anon pause. It was all she needed to seize the initiative and introduce herself.
"Ah, you must be Anon. I've heard a lot about you! My name is Cadance. It's a pleasure to meet you." She beamed.
Anon stared in shock at the cotton candy colored alicorn as she looked excitedly at him from across the room. His gaze lingered on her form for a few seconds before slowly drifting down to the stallion standing next to him, a sheepish grin on his muzzle.
"Oh, uh... wow! Look at that! Princess Celestia, Luna, and Cadance! Who'd uh... who'd of thunk it?" Javelin awkwardly chuckled in the deafening silence reigning over the room. After a moment of silence, he cast a quick spell, forming a small bubble around his head, "aaaaand everypony in here is in estrus... don't mind if I just... seal myself off from that."
Anon let out a tired sigh before turning around to leave.
"Anon, wait!" Celestia cried, standing up to her hooves.
"No!" Anon shouted back, turning on his feet to point an accusatory finger at her, "You don't get to tell me what to do ever again! I don't know what kind of bullshit you think you're pulling here, but I'm not buying this crap again!"
Celestia instantly deflated as Luna spoke up, "Anon, please! Just hear us out for a min-" She started, only to be silenced as Anon held up his hand to stop her.
"Don't. Just... don't. What the fuck even is this, an intervention ? Do you both really think I need you in my life that badly!? Is the concept that I can take care of myself so completely alien to you that you just can't possibly believe that after what you did, I'd be able to move on? 'Cause I'm done with you both! I don't need liars like you in my life anymore!" Anon shouted, his fists clenched as he let out two weeks' worth of pent up anger.
Both Celestia and Luna looked visibly hurt at Anon's outburst, and slouched back down into their chairs without another word of protest. Anon breathed heavily from his tirade, his eyes surveying the room for any more resistance, before a sound caught his ears, and he slowly looked over to the new alicorn sitting on the far side of the room from him as she clapped her hooves together.
"Well that was certainly an entrance! I knew my aunts messed up, but mare, that was something else. Raven wasn't kidding when she said you were different than a normal stallion. It must have felt great to get that all out." Cadance announced, earning her several looks of confusion.
Anon's brow knitted, "What? I mean... yeah, kinda. Cadance... Why does your name ring a bell?" He asked.
"Ah, so you do know of me! I wasn't sure if my aunt's had mentioned me yet, but I'm the Princess of Love! I've been dying to meet you ever since I heard the news that my aunts were finally going to get married! I've been out on diplomatic meetings in the griffon kingdom the last few months, so I didn't get to be there for any of your engagement so far." Cadance explained, offering a half smile.
Anon frowned, "You're the Princess of Love ?" He deadpanned.
"Mm-hmm" Cadance beamed.
Anon facepalmed, "Jesus fucking Christ..." He muttered.
Seeing this as her opportunity to interject, Raven quickly cleared her throat and spoke up, "Anon, I think it's time you knew the truth. The real truth, from the ponies themselves. Javelin and I asked Cadence to be here today because we know that what happened hurt all of you... and we want to help however we can. We felt that this would be the best way." She explained.
"Yeah. I wasn't kidding earlier, dude... you're my friend, so seeing you moping around, barely even eating or sleeping these last couple of weeks has been hard to watch. I want you to be as happy as you were back when you were dating Sunshine and Nightshade... I know they aren't real... and I know you're probably pissed at all of us, especially Raven and I for pulling this, but you've been a mess, dude. I don't want to see you like that anymore... I care about you too much." Javelin added, placing a comforting hoof on Anon's thigh.
Anon clenched his fists so tightly that his knuckles turned white. He slowly and shakily exhaled through his nose as his eyes moved from Javelin, to Raven, then to Celestia, then to Luna, and finally over to Cadance. Just as before, the cotton candy alicorn was giving him a wide smile that seemed all too warm and friendly, even despite his clear anger showing to everyone around him. Eventually, Anon released the tension in his hands and let his shoulders slump slightly. He walked forward to the empty chair sitting in front of him and sat down.
"What exactly do you even want from me? What do you get from this?" He asked, looking at Cadance.
"I get the satisfaction of doing my job, and helping my aunt's fix their shattered relationship with you. For me, it's a complete win/win." Cadance happily replied.
"What are you, a fuckin' therapist or something?" Anon questioned.
"Not a licensed one, but I have lots of experience dealing with relationship issues and helping ponies find the love of their lives. Like I said, it's a win/win for me to help you out." Cadance replied.
Anon's brow creased ever so slightly for just a moment.
"You have exactly ten minutes." Anon announced, crossing his arms.
Cadance nodded, "Well that might be cutting it a bit short, but I'm sure we can at least get started. Firstly, Anon I want to thank you for hearing my aunts out and giving this a shot."
"Don't get your hopes up." Anon flatly responded.
Cadance didn't even acknowledge Anon's remark as she continued, "I usually like to start by seeing where it went wrong from each party individually. Anon, I think I've already gleamed enough from your explosive introduction earlier, so I'll just ask Auntie Celestia and Luna first," She explained, turning to Celestia and Luna, respectively, "Where do you two think you messed up?"
Celestia frowned. She wilted slightly as she felt, rather than saw, Anon's eyes glaring into her. Celestia struggled to keep herself under control as Anon's scent reached her nostrils, making her exhale shakily from his masculine smell. She looked up to her niece's eyes to see that Cadance was leaning forward in her chair, attentively awaiting the explanation as if every word was important. The love princess gave a small nod of support, prompting Celestia to return the nod and begin.
"Well... I suppose it all started falling apart after our first fight. When Anon stormed off, rightfully so, of course... I made the mistake of going down to the bar he and Sergeant Javelin were at to see just what state he was in. My intent was just to make sure that he was alright, but... reverting to my old form makes it much more difficult to control my emotions. Combine that with a prolonged dry spell of a thousand years, and the fact that Anon thought we were beautiful and... well I asked him out on a date." Celestia explained, a nervous blush starkly contrasting her white fur.
Cadance nodded, "I see. Auntie Luna, what about you?" She asked, turning to Luna.
Luna gulped nervously while Anon glared at her as well. The lunar princess squirmed almost invisibly on her seat, as if she was scratching an itch between her legs that she just couldn't reach. The heat in her depths made the situation even more unbearable as she struggled to find her words. She averted her gaze from Anon to the desk in front of her and quickly began.
"For me... it was much the same as my sister. Once Anon started his duties with Raven, he seemed stressed and upset. I... had not treated him kindly up until our fight. I apologized and promised that I would treat him better going forward, and I saw the opportunity to do just that when he walked off without eating dinner that night. I found him in the garden easily enough and did much the same as Celestia... I didn't make plans with Anon to spend time together again, but after his second time out with her, I went down to the nightclub he was enjoying to tell him that he and Sunshine could no longer date. The entire goal was for us to end the whole lie as quickly and painlessly as possible." Luna recalled, pointedly avoiding making eye contact with Anon.
"And then what happened?" Cadance pressed.
"Then... I failed. I tried to tell him, but... the way he smiled at me that night... it felt like I would be breaking his heart... I never wanted to do that and yet... I did anyway." Luna finished, not seeing Anon's glare soften slightly.
Cadance nodded once more before looking over to Anon, "Alright, now that you've heard that from both of them, do you have anything you'd like to add, Anon? Anything they missed that you might remember? Or maybe where you think it went wrong specifically?" She inquired, fixing Anon with the same look she gave both princesses.
Anon suddenly felt all eyes on him, a slight wave of discomfort washing over him as he became the center of attention once more.
"I think it's pretty safe to say it all started from the very second Celestia picked me out of a bunch of random stallions in day court just to get past a law she signed into effect and forgot about. This entire relationship was built on lies and there's no trust anymore... not like there ever was in the first place." Anon answered.
Both Celestia and Luna moved to speak, but Cadance held up her hoof to stop them.
"I see. That's a fair assessment to make." Cadance replied, making Anon squint in confusion.
"Really? You're actually agreeing with me? That's a surprise." Anon said, shaking his head in disbelief.
"Celestia and Luna may be my aunts, but they're still just ponies. They make mistakes, and in this particular situation, I happen to be the princess in charge. Love is something that I take very seriously, so I fully intend to hear everything you're willing to tell me. Relationships are difficult. They take trust and commitment, and nopony is above making mistakes when it comes to love." Cadance explained, leaving everyone in the room silent.
Anon slowly looked over to Celestia and Luna to see them both looking down to the floor in shame. He pursed his lips in consideration, before turning back to face Cadance just as she addressed him once more.
"Is there anything else you'd like to add, Anon?"
Anon slowly shook his head, "No, I... I think that's pretty much everything. I don't really have anything else to say if I'm being honest." He admitted.
Cadance nodded, "Alright. So what I'm getting from all three of you, is that there was a fundamental lack of trust from the very beginning that led to Anon's heart being broken, and both my aunt's now desperately trying to fix it. Does that sound like a fair assessment of the situation?" She surmised, looking over everyone in the room.
"I suppose so." Luna admitted, squirming from side to side every few seconds.
"I... well... yes." Celestia agreed, doing much the same as her sister.
Anon crossed his arms, "Seems that way to me." He added.
Cadance nodded once more, "Well then it seems like there is really only one more question to ask. Do you want to give this relationship another chance and start over? Technically, there's several questions, but they're all just a part of that one blanket question."
"What are you talking about? Of course we want to start over! Isn't that why we're even all here!?" Luna questioned, raising her voice.
"You both want to start over, but the question is more directed at Anon than you. He's the one whose trust was broken, and at the end of the day, it really does come down to him to decide if he can even consider giving you both another chance." Cadance replied, directing all eyes to Anon.
Anon's eyes darted back and forth at the many ponies now focused on him and felt a quickly rising amount of discomfort at all the sudden attention.
"What, am I supposed to decide right now? With everyone pressuring me like this?" Anon retorted, setting his jaw.
Cadance shook her head, "Of course not, Anon. You can leave right now if you want to. Hay, you could have left at any point during this whole meeting. I just wanted to get to the bottom of this so I could make the best judgement call here for everypony involved. You now know that my aunts acted in what they thought was your best interest. Regardless of how you feel about their actions, their intent was purely for your benefit. It's up to you to decide if you can forgive them for deceiving you for nearly the entire relationship."
Anon slowly looked over to Celestia and Luna one more time as he chewed his tongue in thought. Both princesses struggled to meet his gaze as he bore into them with his eyes. Raven and Javelin looked back and forth between the man and ponies with increasing amounts of nerves building up in their stomachs as the staredown lasted for nearly a whole minute. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, Anon spoke.
"If I'm being honest... No. I'm not ready for that, yet." He admitted, his own shoulders slumping slightly.
Celestia and Luna deflated even further into their own chairs, while Javelin and Raven's jaws dropped. An uncomfortable silence reigned over the room while Cadance gave a slow, deliberate nod at Anon's decision.
"Understandable. If there's nothing else you wish to say, Anon, then like I said, you're free to leave." Cadance responded, just as professionally and easily as before.
Anon nodded and rose to his feet. As he turned to leave, his eyes passed over the royal sisters as they sat, dejectedly staring at the floor while the color seemed to fade from their eyes. Instead of a feeling of righteous indignation, however, Anon only felt hollow at the sight. His brow knitted in concern for just a moment, giving him pause, but he quickly pushed past it and exited the doorway, leaving the princesses, Raven, and Javelin.
Only once Anon was completely gone and out of earshot, did Raven finally turn to Cadance and address her.
"What the hay was that!? I thought you were going to help salvage this relationship, not destroy it completely!" She exclaimed, pointing an accusing hoof at the cotton candy colored alicorn.
Cadance was completely unfazed by the verbal attack, "I did my job, Miss Inkwell. Please trust me when I say that I take no pleasure in it when things go this way, but it's all part of a process."
"What process!? All you did was have them explain what went wrong and then ask Anon if he wanted to try again when it was obvious that bringing all that up just pissed him off again! You're supposed to be the princess of love! Isn't helping ponies fall in love and stay in love kinda in your job description?!" Javelin added.
"Have either of you heard of the phrase 'if you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, then it's yours forever. If it doesn't, then it was never meant to be'?" Cadance asked, barely raising an eyebrow.
"I... well yes, but... that doesn't usually apply when the whole situation is bucked up beyond belief!" Raven rebutted.
"Miss Inkwell, like I said, this is all part of a process. Anon needs more time. I know that's not what anypony wants to hear right now, but it's the sad truth," Cadance replied, before looking over to Celestia and Luna, "I'm so sorry that things didn't go the way you both hoped it would... but I promise that this is the best way for your relationship to proceed right now. Give Anon some more time, Hay, give him a few months, even. I promise that once this is all over, you'll all be happy."
Celestia barely managed a nod while Luna simply ignored her niece, instead opting to just stare at the floor aimlessly, even her heat failing to make the alicorn move anymore. Javelin and Raven shared a look of concern before making their way over to the princesses to check on them.
"P-Princess Celestia? Are you alright?" Raven inquired, a deep frown on her face.
Celestia snorted, "Far from it, Raven... far from it. I think I should like some time to myself for now... I still didn't even get to apologize."
Without another word, Celestia teleported away, leaving Raven with stars in her vision from the sudden teleportation spell.
Javelin approached Luna with a reserved step, "Princess Luna?" He asked.
"Yes, Sergeant?" Luna responded, although her eyes remained locked onto the floor.
"Are... are you going to be okay?" Javelin inquired.
"Sometimes I wish I'd never come back." Luna muttered, before teleporting away, much the same as Celestia.
Javelin stumbled back from the sudden flash of light. Raven quickly trotted to his side to help him regain his balance, before the pair turned to face Cadance once more.
"I don't know about you, but this seems pretty bucking far from 'okay' to me. They're your aunts! How can you just destroy them like this?" Raven asserted, her tone full of anger.
"The fact that they're my aunts is why I'm taking this so seriously, Miss Inkwell. I know it looks bleak now, but things always get worse before they get better. I know you don't see that right now, but I'm not the princess of Love for no reason. Just give it time." Cadance replied.
Anon exited the aquarium, nearly dragging his feet as he walked. More than once, he cast his gaze back toward the building to see if any of the princesses, Javelin, or Raven were going to come out to stop him, but no one did. He slowly made his way out to the main street in front of the building and turned around completely. He watched the building for several minutes with his hands stuffed in his pockets, and his lips pursed in thought.
Are... are they really not going to come after me again? I can't believe it... I'm free... why... why doesn't it feel like a win though?
Anon furrowed his brow as he pondered the question. Once it became abundantly clear that nobody was coming after him, he turned back around and made his way to Javelin's house, his head hanging low the entire way.
Author's Note
Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
Okay, last chapter of sads, I promise. Having said that, I betcha didn't see that coming, did you? Sometimes forgiveness isn't as simple as a "I'm sorry" and "Okay, I forgive you"
All's Fair in Love and War
Six Months Later
Anon sat on the front porch of Javelin's house with a bottle of beer in one hand and the newspaper in the other. As the sun slowly creeped up to its highest point in the sky, Anon squinted slightly from the increased incoming light. He read the newspaper headline with hardly a visible expression on his face, although his brow did furrow ever so slightly.
Canterlot Wedding of Princess Mi Amore Cadenza to take place today at noon. Ponies from all over the country have gathered en masse, despite the security concerns and barrier upheld by the husband to be, Captain Shining Armor of the Royal Guard. Still no word from the crown with regards to the nature of the threat the barrier has been set up to protect against, but regardless, the entire city is bustling with ponies from all walks of life to see the first royal wedding in a millennia.
Anon read silently, the frown on his face deepening even further as he continued on to the next paragraph.
Still no word, however, on the expectant wedding date of Princesses Celestia and Luna to their consort Anonymous. Despite the statement issued from the princesses several months ago that Anonymous needed more time to prepare for his role as a prince after the marriage, no ponies from this news team were able to get any answers out of him as of yet. Multiple ponies have reported seeing the human in the middle district, living in housing with his private guard, leading many to speculate that Anonymous's tastes might be more in line with the same sex, and the princesses are simply saving face by prolonging their engagement as long as possible.
Anon set the paper down and let out a long sigh before bringing the bottle to his lips and downing the rest of his drink. Once it was completely gone, he threw the bottle at the trash can just at the bottom of the steps leading to the porch, hitting the inside of the bin. He opted to rest his elbows on his knees and hold his hands together as he stared out into the street, his expression blank.
A few minutes passed, before Javelin opened the door from behind and stepped out onto the porch with Anon. The stallion wore his armor and helmet, along with a pair of saddlebags on his barrel as he closed the door behind him. Upon turning around, he immediately noticed Anon blocking the stairs and frowned as his eyes saw the paper.
"They still talking about you in the news?" Javelin inquired, taking a few steps toward Anon.
"Not until the second paragraph this time. Guess Cadence's wedding took priority over me for the day." Anon replied, keeping his eyes forward as Javelin sat down on his haunches beside him.
"Yeah, it kinda blindsided them when the princesses postponed your wedding. How long do you think before nobles start demanding that they pick another stallion to replace you?" Javelin asked, casting Anon a sideways glance.
"From what I can tell, they already have. Multiple times. Celestia and Luna just keep shutting them down. Don't know why they bother. They're just delaying the inevitable." Anon shrugged.
"You know the answer to that one, dude." Javelin shook his head.
Anon nodded, "I guess so."
Javelin stared at Anon for a long time before sighing heavily and hanging his head low, "Are you still angry at them?" He asked.
Now it was Anon's turn to sigh heavily, "No... no I'm not. I just wish things had played out differently. I wish they had been honest, and I wish that I had handled it better. I don't think I was wrong to be as angry as I was, but... I don't know. Just gotta move on, right?" Anon asked, finally turning to look Javelin in the eyes.
"That's the spirit," Javelin punched Anon's shoulder, "How was the dating scene last night?"
Anon chuckled, "Same as it always is. They were either too confused by what I am, or thought that I was still in a relationship with the princesses and were too scared to commit to that," He shook his head with a snort, "Honestly, I'm surprised the reporters haven't interviewed any of them, but then again, I guess asking drunk mares at bars at three AM wouldn't exactly be considered a reliable source."
They both chuckled before Javelin looked over in the direction of the castle.
"You got the time?" He asked.
Anon looked down at his wristwatch, "It's about eleven thirty. You heading over there now?" He asked, already aware of the answer.
Javelin nodded, "Yep, duty calls. My shift starts at noon and doesn't end until... well pretty much tomorrow. Good thing about that, is that I get a three day weekend, so we can chill and go out for the next three days." He explained.
Anon nodded, absentmindedly touching the watch on his wrist, "Alright, sounds good. I'll see you later, bro."
Javelin started to leave, but paused mid step to look over his wither at Anon once more, "Hey, Anon... are you sure you don't want to come? I mean... I know it'd be awkward if you ran into them, but I really think you'd have a good time. This wedding is gonna be the biggest party Canterlot's seen in forever." He offered.
Anon half smiled, "I appreciate it, dude. Still, I think I'd rather just stay away from the castle for a bit longer... not really sure what I'd say if I ran into them again, you know?" He replied.
Javelin nodded, "I get you. Well, if you change your mind, you know where to go. It's pretty much open invitation, so as long as you're already inside the bubble, you're fine to come to the party."
"I'll think about it. You'd better get going, bro. Don't want to be late to an event like this." Anon replied, with a smirk.
"Right you are. I'll see you later, dude." Javelin responded, before trotting off down the stairs and toward the castle.
Anon watched as Javelin left, his hand still absently touching the watch on his wrist, before he slowly looked down at the gift and frowned once more.
"Dammit..." He mumbled, tracing his thumb over the face of the watch.
Anon slowly pushed himself to his feet and made his way back into the house. He found the couch in the living room once more and promptly plopped down onto his back, his arm and leg dangling down and laying on the floor. He stared up at the ceiling for a while as his thoughts drifted off to the princesses and the castle.
Was what they did really so bad? Yeah they lied, but... it was still technically them, right? No, no... stop thinking like that. You're just down because you're alone right now... once you find a good mare, things will get better. They have to... right?
Anon breathed out another deep sigh as he closed his eyes and tried to take a nap. For almost an hour, he laid on the bed, trying to rest, but sleep eluded him, prompting a frustrated groan as he attempted to roll onto his side. Within a few more minutes, he felt himself dozing off.
Just as Anon felt the siren call of sleep reach out to him, a thunderous *crack* akin to the sound of shattering glass shocked him out of the couch and down to the floor. Anon landed on his face, the sleep knocked clean out of him as he quickly pushed himself to his feet, only to hit the floor once more as the sound of ear-splitting explosions and buzzing blared all around him. One such explosion hit just outside of the window, shattering the glass and sending shards flying in all directions.
Anon covered his face with his arms as glass ricocheted all around him. The sounds of yelling mixed in with the explosions and a terrible buzzing that felt like it was emanating from right inside of his ear. Anon crawled toward the window as quickly as he could, carefully avoiding the glass along the way, and eventually finding himself at his destination. Once there, he pushed himself to his feet and looked out through the broken glass to find a hauntingly creepy looking bug-horse.
"What the almighty fuck?" Anon whispered, his brow furrowing in disbelief.
The insectoid-pony didn't appear to hear him, instead opting to look around its surroundings for a few moments, before turning toward the castle and unfurling its wings. They instantly buzzed to life as the creature flew away, toward the sound of all the chaos and fighting. Anon watched as it went, a mix of concern and shock on his face, before he noticed the now shattered dome as it continued to collapse all around Canterlot.
"Holy shit..." Anon swallowed, nervously, "It's a fucking invasion."
Anon turned and rushed over to the front door and opened it, revealing a sight of pure destruction and horror as thousands of the bug-horses ravaged the city in the distance. Even on his street, dozens of the insectoids buzzed from house to house, some of them already dragging the occupants out and immobilizing them by vomiting green slime all over their limbs.
"That's just fucking gross..." Anon's face morphed into one of disgust, before quickly turning to one of terror as a bug-horse looked directly at him.
Anon instantly slammed the door shut and rushed to the kitchen. Almost immediately, the sound of buzzing raked at his ears and the front door exploded into a frenzy of splinters. The black form of the creature darted into the living room and after him, forcing an unmanly squeal out of Anon as he reached the stove.
Anon heard the bug closing in fast and grabbed the first thing he could find; a frying pan. Just as the monster entered the kitchen and lunged at him, he turned around, swinging wildly with his newfound weapon. A deafening *clang* echoed through the kitchen as the pan slammed into the side of the insect's head, knocking it off course and sending it careening into the pantry door. The wood splintered as the black blur crashed inside, its chitin cracking so many times that even Anon winced at the creature's poor fortune.
"Damn... fucking mosquitos are huge here." Anon shook his head in disbelief, before looking at his frying pan, "God, I'm glad we upgraded to the stainless steel. This shit ain't dented at all." Anon commented, before turning to leave.
"We're... not... mosquitos... you... cretin ." A voice, distorted as it was, spoke out from the pantry.
Anon froze mid step, before turning on his heels and holding the frying pan up like a baseball bat.
"Oh yeah? Then what the hell are you?" He asked, taking a cautious step forward.
"We... are... changelings... We... are legion... We... will take Equestria..." The creature spat from the pantry, its voice strained as it attempted to walk.
Anon reached the pantry door and finally saw the creature properly. It's head was noticeably cracked, and a small measure of green blood dripped from the cracks lining its temple. A small, jagged horn sat atop its head, just above two deep blue compound eyes. A forked tongue quickly poked out between two fangs as the changeling watched Anon approach. Anon felt his gaze pulled to its legs, and the dozens of holes in all four limbs, as if parts of the creature were physically missing.
"You're one ugly son of a bitch." Anon commented, his grip tightening on his pan.
The changeling hissed as it thrust itself forward toward Anon, but just before it could get within hoof's reach, he slammed the frying pan down on top of its head once more, knocking the bug-horse out cold.
Anon looked down at the unconscious changeling before lightly kicking it with his foot. Once he was sure it wasn't getting back up, he turned back toward the front door.
"You'll take Equestria, huh?" Anon quietly questioned, his brow furrowing as he thought of the princesses, Raven, and Javelin, "Maybe... but not while I'm still here."
Anon quickly made his way to the front door, frying pan in hand as he reached the outside world. Immediately, he saw the rest of the changelings surrounding the ponies they'd captured. A mare, who he recognized as Star Blazer, two stallions, and even a couple crying fillies were bound by the strange green goo, prompting a deep frown of concern on Anon's face. He watched for a few moments, before the majority of the bugs shared a nod of approval and buzzed off toward the castle. Anon quickly ducked back inside as they flew past him, his heart racing.
Once they were gone, Anon peeked out once more to see that only two changelings were left to guard the ponies. He took a deep breath before sneaking out the front door and down the steps. He darted behind a bush just before one of the changelings turned to look in his direction, narrowly avoiding detection.
Meanwhile, the other changeling guard was focused on hissing and drooling at the sight of its captives, earning a snarl from the mare in response. Just before the changeling could snap back, Anon rushed out from the bush and whacked the first guard in the head with his frying pan, instantly knocking it unconscious. The second guard turned around to see Anon, a small measure of green blood splattered onto his face and clothes, as he stood over its unconscious comrade.
Anon stepped forward to deal with the second guard, but just as he moved, the creature erupted into a ball of green fire, making him jump back.
"Woahwhatthefuck !?" Anon yelped as the green fire singed at his arm hair.
Once the flames were gone, an exact copy of Anon stood in the changelings place, all the way down to the small scar on his chin from the bar fight half a year ago. Anon stepped back in shock at the new development, before the shouting mare stuck in goo wretched his attention away with her voice.
"They're changelings! They can take the form of almost anything!" Star cried, straining once more against her bonds.
Anon nodded before turning to once again face himself. He looked the copy over quickly, and noticed something missing.
"Looks like you can't copy everything." Anon smirked.
"What?" The other Anon asked, looking down to his appearance, only to be swiftly knocked out by Anon's frying pan. A quick burst of green flame erupted around the creature, returning it to its normal, bug-horse state, as it hit the ground like a brick.
"Did you forget I had this? Because I didn't." Anon chuckled, flipping his frying pan in his hands, before turning to the captured ponies.
"You did it!" Star cheered, followed quickly by cheers of excitement from the stallions and fillies.
"Yeah. Yeah I did... huh? How about that?" Anon smiled, looking down at himself, "Here, let me see if I can get you guys out of there." He offered, stepping toward the goo.
"If you can shatter that bright glowing part with your frying pan, I might be able to use my magic to break us free." Star responded, nodding toward a glowing green crystal of sorts, sticking out of the goo.
"Alright, I'll get it." Anon replied, before lining up pan and smacking the crystal with all his might.
Green shards of crystal instantly fractured and dispersed all over the ground, changing the color of the goo from a radioactive green, to a dull black. The mare quickly charged up a spell and blasted the goo with yellow energy, quickly melting it and freeing all of the trapped ponies. Immediately, both stallions and fillies rushed to Anon and hugged him.
"Thank you so much!" The first stallion cheered.
"You saved us!" The fillies cried in unison, tears still spilling from their eyes.
"Thank you. I can't tell you how much it means to all of us that you came to help us. I wasn't sure what they were gonna do to us." Star added, smiling up at Anon.
"Let's not dwell on that. We need to get you guys somewhere safe." Anon replied, petting both fillies and stallions as they clung to his thighs.
"We'll head to the lower district. It looks like less of them landed down there. You should come with us." The mare offered.
Anon grimaced as he looked over the ponies before him, "I appreciate the offer, but I need to-" He started, before an explosion in the castle rippled through the air.
All eyes turned toward the source of the sound to find beams of light blasting into the sky and all over the castle walls. Anon frowned as he gripped his weapon tighter. He looked down to the formerly captive ponies with his jaw set, and a determined look in his eyes.
"I'm gonna go up there and try to help out however I can. Do you think you guys will be okay getting to the middle district by yourselves?" He asked.
Star frowned as she looked back up to Anon, "You can't be serious! That's where the majority of the changelings are! They'll eat you alive!" She exclaimed, gaining several nods and words of agreement from the stallions and fillies.
"My friends are up there. I have to go." Anon replied, without missing a beat.
"Anon... I thought you and the Princesses weren't even speaking anymore? I haven't seen you at the castle in months." Star protested.
"It's a long story. I'll explain everything once this is over, but for now, can you escort these four down to the lower district?" Anon pressed, prying his legs free from the ponies still hugging and nuzzling him.
"I... I can. Yeah, I can do that." Star replied, nodding firmly.
"Thanks. Alright, you guys heard the mare. Follow her down to the lower district. I'm gonna go solve this clusterfuck." Anon beamed, giving a thumbs up to the two fillies.
"What's a clusterfuck?" One of the fillies asked.
"Nevermind that, Honeydrop. Let's get you all out of here." Star spoke up, using her magic to throw each filly onto each stallion's back, "Let's go, ponies!" She ordered, trotting ahead and prompting the stallions to hurry after her.
Anon watched as the fleeing ponies reached the end of the cul-de-sac and galloped out of sight. Once he was sure they were clear, he turned his attention to the castle once more, only to find that the frequency of magic bolts, explosions, and screams was only growing by the second. He broke into a cautious jog down the street and toward the castle.
Anon immediately found himself in the middle of an all out war between the ponies and changelings. Upon reaching the main street leading toward the castle, he found no fewer than five dozen royal guards locked in a firefight with hundreds of changelings. Green, blue, red, purple, and every other color of the rainbow flashed through the air as bolts of magic and fire tore through the air, punching holes in buildings, and destroying houses all along the street. Anon quickly ducked into a shop just before a royal guard was thrown through the front window, shattering the glass into thousands of tiny shards.
"Shit!" Anon cried as he hit the deck just in time for the mare to fly over his head and crash into the wall beside him.
She crumpled to the ground next to him, blood trickling out of her muzzle and several new cuts all over her coat. Anon swiftly crawled to her side and grabbed the mare to check on her, only to find two hate filled, violet irises looking back at him.
"Lieutenant Valorant!?" Anon exclaimed.
Lieutenant Valorant spat out a small measure of blood before wiping her muzzle with her hoof and nodding, "Anonymous? Where have you been the past six months? What the hay are you doing here? You should be down in the lower district with all the civilians." She replied, looking at him, curiously.
"I've been living with Javelin. His house got hit by those changelings and I had to crack some skulls with my frying pan here to save the rest of the neighborhood. We can talk about that later though, what's the situation?" Anon replied, looking out the shattered window at the warzone outside.
"Bad. The changeling queen has captured Princess Celestia and Cadence. Captain Shining Armor is under her control and unable to command, and we're outnumbered ten to one at the very least," Lieutenant Valorant replied, peeking through the window with Anon just as a bolt of green light shot into the store and burned a hole into a wall above her head, "Buck!" She cried, as she ducked down.
Anon ducked with her and fixed the unicorn with a worried look, "Who's in charge then? You?" He questioned.
"No. Princess Luna is mounting an assault on the castle, but we're being hit from all angles. My unit was en route to be her support by fire, but we've been cut off. They've got us pinned and until I can get us through to the rest of our forces, we're sitting ducks here." Lieutenant Valorant explained.
Anon looked out to the sight of carnage outside and frowned, heavily.
"Do you know where Javelin is?" He asked.
"Last I heard, he was guarding the wedding. As far as I'm aware, he's either been captured along with the rest of the guards there, or he made it to Princess Luna's resistance." She answered.
Anon nodded, "Alright. I need to get to him and Luna then. Is there any way you can help me get there?"
Lieutenant Valorant looked at him as if he'd grown a second head, "What part of 'pinned down' didn't you hear? I can't get my unit out of here right now, and even if I could get you over there, what are you even going to do? No offense, but you've not exactly packing much in terms of firepower from what I know about your species." She shot back.
Anon looked down to his frying pan and frowned, "Hurtful, but true. I have... something of a plan." He offered.
Lieutenant Valorant raised an eyebrow, "What's your plan?"
"Raven told me that the griffons lost to ponies because once their king was dead, they had no leadership anymore. I know these bug horses didn't evolve past that stage of planning since they still have a single queen, and don't use helmets yet, so if I can take out the queen, they should be pretty much beat, right?"
Lieutenant Valorant frowned, "While taking out the queen is the right way to deal with the changelings, I don't think you realize how much more powerful she is than you. She beat Princess Celestia. Any mare capable of that is going to absolutely annihilate you if you come at her with a frying pan." She responded.
Before Anon could respond, another guard rushed into the store, "Lieutenant! We've punched a hole in their line! We can get a couple of guards through to get help!" The guard shouted.
Anon looked at the new guard, and then to Lieutenant Valorant, "Val, listen to me. I need to get over there. I know I'm not the most useful fighter here, and I know that things are really screwy right now... but I need you to give me this chance."
Lieutenant Valorant stared at Anon for a few moments. She opened her mouth to speak, but paused and bit her lip. She took only one more second to decide, before looking up to Anon and nodding.
"I don't know how much good you'll be over there... but as long as you can get my unit the support it needs to get to the castle... then go." She ordered, firmly.
"I won't let you down. I'll even do you one better. I'll make sure we kick that queen's ass all the way back to whatever shithole she climbed out of." Anon declared, smiling with determination.
Lieutenant Valorant looked at the other guard, "Go! Take him with you and get us reinforcements!" She barked, before turning to Anon one more time just as he got up to run with the guard, "-And Anon. Be careful out there, okay?"
Anon smiled, "You got it, Val."
With that, Anon turned and ran after the other guard into the chaos.
Author's Note
Now I know this chapter must come as quite a shock after where we left off last chapter. Sorry if it's a bit too jarring for some of you, but I couldn't really think of any good filler between that chapter and this one, so here you go. I'm sure the ending of the story is now incredibly obvious to you guys now, but hey, I didn't write this story with the intent of being completely original in every way.
I just hope you enjoy the ride there. We've got a few chapters of this arc to cover, and they're gonna be great. I really like them, and as you've seen already, there's a lot of stupid comedy injected in there for laughs. It'll only get better from here.
All's Fair in Love and War
Chapter 30: Fight Like Hell
Anon ducked down low to keep as small a profile as possible as he sprinted after the guard through the hail of magic bolts and fire. Shock waves from explosions rippled through the air, nearly knocking him off balance and to the ground, but he managed to stay on his feet and keep pace with the smaller guard in front of him.
"Cover us! We're pushing through!" The guardsmare in front bellowed to her comrades as she led Anon to the breach.
"Covering fire!" The other guardsmares shouted in response, before a volley of magic fired just over their heads at the changelings.
Anon held his frying pan over his head as he moved, bits of debris clinking off of it the whole time. He stayed no more than an arm's length from the guard rushing in front of him, even with bolts of light and fire flying all around him.
"This way!" She called over her wither as she broke into a full gallop.
Anon quickly nodded and sprinted after the guardsmare. His longer stride made it easier to keep pace, and they quickly reached the end of the street, where over a dozen royal guards were locked in a battle of swords, magic, spears, and crossbows against the changelings blocking their path. Anon's heart sank in his chest as he observed the apparent blockade, but the mare in front of him didn't slow down her charge at all. If anything, she pushed herself to go even faster, prompting Anon to dig deep and rush after her as well.
"Wait! Where's the hole! There's nothing but Changelings that way!" Anon cried as he struggled to keep up.
"Just follow me!" She shouted back.
Anon complied and continued to run as fast as his legs would carry him. Just before they both reached the brawl happening in the middle of the street, the guard brought her hooves to a screeching halt just behind the other guards fighting back the changelings and grabbed the man-hole cover in the middle of the street with her magic. She ripped it open and frantically waved to Anon.
"There! Down the hole, into the sewers! Just keep going straight ahead! That's how you'll get to Princess Luna!" The guardsmare ordered, pointing to the hole.
Anon nodded as he reached the hole and climbed into the tube leading down.
"What about you?" He asked, as he started climbing.
Before the mare could answer, a changeling leapt over the defensive line of guards and tackled her to the ground. She punched the bug in the snout before headbutting it and using her magic to blast the creature off of her.
"No time! Just go! We'll keep them back!" She cried, before igniting her horn once more and shoving the man-hole cover over to Anon.
He quickly ducked down and continued down just as the cover slammed over his head. The sounds of fighting and violence dulled immediately as Anon was plunged into darkness. Only two small holes in the cover allowed beams of light to illuminate the sewer system as Anon climbed down to the bottom. He soon found his footing on a sidewalk of sorts next to the sewer water.
Anon spared one more glance up at the man-hole cover and violence surely happening just above him, before breaking into a jog in the dimly lit sewer.
"You know... you ponies can magic the smell away down here and make it all pretty... but you can't put up some damn lights down here?" Anon questioned as he trotted down the sidewalk, "Guess that's just something I'll have to bug Celestia about once this shit is over... hehe, bug ... oh fuck I hope we don't all die."
Anon pushed himself just a tad faster as he ran down the sewer line. The sounds of battle raged over his head, and the occasional explosion shook the walls, or knocked some dust from the ceiling as he progressed toward his destination. Within a few minutes, Anon found another ladder leading toward the surface. He approached the ladder cautiously, his frying pan at the ready in case there were any more changelings waiting in the tube leading toward the surface.
Once he was directly under the man-hole cover, and could see no signs of any bug horses, Anon breathed a small sigh of relief.
Should I keep going? Or just pop up here? Anon thought to himself, before a distant buzzing sound reached his ears.
He looked down from the escape toward the direction he came from and frowned.
"Looks like this is my stop, then." He muttered, before climbing the latter.
As Anon climbed, the buzzing only worsened, and he felt, rather than heard, the beating wings of the changelings in his head. He quickly reached the cover and pushed on it with his free hand until it lifted from its seat. He pushed it over and out of his way just as the buzzing reached his ladder. Anon spared a glance downward just to see a sea of blue compound eyes staring back up at him and glistening fangs. With a very unmasculine scream, Anon hurried out of the sewer and threw himself onto the street, just as the changelings surged after him.
Anon grabbed his frying pan and smacked the first changeling in the face as it surfaced, knocking it back down into the hole and slowing its comrades' progress. He seized the opportunity and shoved the man-hole cover back over the hole, closing it completely. He threw himself onto the cover while the changelings below struggled to lift the cover, itself and his now added weight too.
Slowly, the cover rose from its seat, much to Anon's dismay. He pushed down with all of his might and fought to keep the bugs from climbing out with his frying pan, but it was to no avail. The changelings soon had enough clearance to climb out.
Just as the first changeling poked its head out from under the cover, a bolt of bright white light shot from afar and smoked the bug horse right in the face, knocking it down the hole and halting its allies' advance. A similar aura wrapped around the man-hole cover and forced it back into its seat. Once it was held securely in place, Anon rolled over to the side, just as the sound of hooves clopping against cobblestone reached his ears.
Anon looked up to see Javelin rushing to his side as another guardsmare fired a beam of intense magic energy at the seams of the cover, effectively welding it in place.
"Anon!" Javelin cried as he galloped to close the distance.
Javelin quickly reached Anon along with the other guard. There were several dents and scratches in his armor, along with a small smear of green blood on his helmet. The stallion was so dirty that his coat was more brown than white, but otherwise he appeared unharmed.
"Jav! There you are," Anon replied as he got up to his feet, "You look like hammered shit." He chuckled.
"I could say the same about you. What are you doing here? The city's under attack! What were you doing in the sewers?" Javelin pressed, looking over Anon worriedly.
"It's a long story. Basically Val's platoon is pinned down about five minutes down the road and needs backup. She sent me to get Luna's help so she could get her platoon in place to assault the castle." Anon explained.
"Val? Lieutenant Valorant? Why'd she send you to tell us that?" The guardsmare questioned, tilting her head to the side.
"Like I said, long story. You guys know where Luna is?" Anon pressed, looking to Javelin.
"Yeah, she's right this way. Follow us." Javelin replied, turning and leading the way toward a bombed out boutique down the road.
Anon and the other guardsmare quickly trotted after Javelin and soon found themselves amidst a sea of royal guards, and local ponice that were scrambling all over each other to assess damage and prepare for the assault.
"We need more medical over here!" One mare called.
"They're breaking through the Eastern flank! Send Apple company over there to harden our rear before we assault the castle!" A high ranking royal guard ordered to her subordinates in a nearby window.
Anon surveyed the scene of admittedly less destructive chaos with a frown.
"It's this bad all over the city, isn't it?" Anon asked, nearly pausing Javelin's stride.
"It's... yeah. It's not good. The changelings hit us with everything they had before we were ready. They outnumber us ten to one, and most of our leadership was captured at the wedding. Only a few dozen of us managed to escape. As far as we know, aside from Princess Luna, all of the princesses and senior leadership of the royal guard are being held hostage by Queen Chrysalis right now. The elements of harmony bearers are fighting their way to the elements as we speak, but... we're almost certain they won't make it." Javelin admitted, a deep frown on his face as well.
"Fuck." Anon muttered.
Before anything else could be said, they arrived at the boutique, finding Luna addressing several lieutenants, captains, and majors.
"Be swift! We have only a few precious minutes before the changelings overwhelm our rear guard. Once that happens, we'll have nopony to watch our flanks while we push into the castle. If that happens before we rescue my sister, we'll be surrounded and summarily wiped out." Luna ordered, addressing her troops with the eyes of a determined leader.
"Yes Ma'am!" The room sounded off in unison, before swiftly departing to accomplish their assigned tasks.
Just as the room cleared out, Javelin led Anon inside while the guardsmare took up her position outside the doorway. Luna looked up from her maps and documents on the table as they approached, her eyes widening in surprise.
"A-Anon!?" Luna gasped.
Javelin smirked, "Found him sneaking around in the sewers, Princess."
Anon shared a quick chuckle with Javelin before looking over to Luna, a slight hardness in his gaze, "Hey, Luna. It's been a while."
"It... it certainly has. Are you alright? Were you injured in the fighting?" Luna pressed, leaving her desk and making her way to Anon to inspect him.
"I'm okay. I'm not really the one you should be worried about though. Val's platoon is pinned down and needs help to join your assault. She managed to squeeze me through the changelings' line but a lot of guards are getting the crap kicked out of them back there." Anon explained.
Luna's gaze hardened, "Where? Can you show me on the map?"
"Yeah," Anon replied, before placing his frying pan down on the table and pointing at the red circle in the center of the map, "Is this us?"
"Correct. We're less than five hundred hooves from the castle right now." Luna replied.
Anon traced his finger back down the map and route he could recall taking, "There. Right about here. I didn't walk very far in the tunnel to get here, so they're not far away." He explained.
"Are you sure this is where they are?" Luna questioned.
"Yeah. I'm sure." Anon nodded.
"Alright," Luna turned toward the doorway, "Guard!" She called, prompting the guardsmare to quickly enter the room.
"Yes, your highness!" She responded.
"Go to the next building over and find Captain Copperhead and tell her that she's to take two platoons and punch a hole through the changelings lines to thirty fourth street and trot street. Now!" Luna ordered.
"Right away, Princess!" The mare replied, before galloping away to carry out her orders.
With that finished, Luna turned back to Anon and slowly approached him. She shyly looked down and away from him, prompting Anon to kneel down to be more eye level with her.
"Luna? What's wrong?" Anon asked.
"I just... I missed you. All this time I hoped to see you again and now... this is how we meet? In the middle of a war?" Luna replied, a mirthless chuckle escaping her lips as she averted her gaze.
"Hey, it's gonna be alright. The royal guard is full of a bunch of badasses that'll kick these little bug fucks back to whatever little shithole they crawled out of, and we've got you holding the reins here. Honestly, I don't think I'd trust anyone more." Anon replied, placing a comforting hand on Luna's wither.
"We'll get Princess Celestia out of there. Don't worry, Princess." Javelin added, giving a determined smile to the Princess of the Night.
Luna half smiled at that, although her posture still remained the same. Anon's brow furrowed as he chewed his tongue in thought for a moment.
"Luna... I-I know we left on bad terms... but... I missed you too. Both you, and Celestia." Anon offered.
"I've missed you more... more than I care to admit, Anon." Luna replied, looking up to see him.
Anon hesitated for a moment before pulling Luna into a hug. She gratefully accepted the gesture, opting to bury her muzzle into the crook of his neck as she sighed out through her nostrils. She wrapped her hooves around Anon's waist and squeezed him just a tad tighter, before releasing the hug and getting back to her hooves.
"Thank you, Anon. I almost forgot how good your hugs are," Luna chuckled, before looking back at the table with a sad look in her eyes, "Unfortunately, hugs won't save us here. It's been over a thousand years since I've commanded an army, even if it is splintered and small at the moment... I think I need all the encouragement I can get." She admitted.
"I'm here now, Luna. Just tell me what we need to do to get Celestia and the others out of there." Anon replied.
Luna sighed, "I'm afraid that until we assault with all our forces, there's simply nothing we can do."
Anon planted his hands on the table as he examined the maps, "There has to be something we can do. I've seen the goo they use to capture ponies. It's gross as fuck. I wouldn't want to be stuck in that shit all day."
"There's no doubt that Celestia and the rest of the ponies being held hostage are being held in either the goo you're referring to, or in changeling pods. The goo is easy enough to get out of, but the pods can be difficult. Not to mention their overwhelming numbers... even if we managed to fight our way inside, I don't know if we could free them before being captured ourselves." Luna added, her brow furrowed in thought.
Javelin walked over to Anon's side and eyed the maps with him, "What about a small infiltration team? The west wing has a secret underground entrance that we could exploit and enter the castle through. It's just next to the archery range."
Luna raised an eyebrow in interest, "That's a good proposal, but all of our infiltrators are either prisoners or MIA." She replied, sadly shaking her head.
"Maybe not all your infiltrators, Princess." Dusk spoke up, flipping down from the ceiling and landing on the table.
"Gah! Fuck!" Anon shrieked, falling backwards as he flailed his arms wildly.
"Sorry to startle you, sir." Dusk replied, hopping off the table to offer a hoof to the fallen man.
As Anon took Dusk's hoof and got to his feet, Luna approached him, "Thank Faust you're here, Dusk. I was so worried the Night Guard was completely captured."
"They got the majority of us, Princess. Hit us while we were all sleeping and captured the entire chain of command. Echo and I are the only ones that managed to get away as things really kicked off." Dusk replied, turning to Luna.
Luna hissed through her teeth, "I suppose two Night Guards are better than no Night Guards." She admitted.
"We'll hit them for you, Princess." Dusk replied, confidently.
"Don't get too excited, Dusk. We'll get our chance to counterattack. I'm just not quite sure if I like this plan, yet... It's dangerous, not to mention, the changelings can look exactly like any creature they see, or even any object. Getting into the castle as a changeling would be easy, but getting in as a pony is nearly impossible."
"Echo and I are ready to do whatever is necessary." Dusk acknowledged.
"That reminds me, where is Echo, then?" Anon inquired, just before Echo dropped from the ceiling onto the table in front of him, much like Dusk.
"Whatthefuckwhy!?" Anon cried out as he fell backwards again.
Javelin facehoofed as he walked over to help Anon get to his feet once more.
"Sorry, sir. Got stuck in the rafters up there for a minute. Meant to drop down with Dusk." Echo explained, a sheepish smile on his face.
"You two are gonna give me a heart attack way before the changelings kill me." Anon sighed.
"Kill you? Anon, the changelings aren't trying to kill anypony. They feed on love. What they want is much worse. They want to capture our entire race, imprison us in their hive, and feed on our emotions until all that is left is an entire species of dried, empty husks." Luna explained, a grave look on her face.
Anon pursed his lips, "You know, I kinda preferred it when I only thought they were trying to kill us." He admitted.
"Regardless of what they plan to do to us, we have to fight them and put an end to this siege. We heard your plan to infiltrate through the west wing. We'd like to volunteer to lead the team. We're very familiar with that part of the castle, and any underground terrain will be almost pitch black. You'll need thestral eyes to see where you're going down there, anyway." Dusk spoke up, looking to Javelin and Luna.
"Are you certain, Dusk? We might not be able to break through their defenses with the troops we have. If you find yourselves in peril, help may not come at all." Luna cautioned, eyeing him with concern.
"Understood, Princess. We're willing to take that risk." Dusk replied, Echo nodding alongside him.
"Wait, hold on, time out!" Anon called out, making every pony look at him, "Luna was just saying how the changelings can impersonate any pony they want, right? How do we know that this is the real Dusk and Echo?" Anon inquired.
Luna's brow furrowed considerably, "That is a good question. Well, only one way to know for sure. Dusk, Echo. Names." She demanded.
Both Dusk and Echo snapped to the position of attention as they faced Luna.
"My real name is Ardent Light." Dusk responded, firmly.
"My real name is Double Time." Echo answered, just a firmly.
Luna gave a satisfied nod, "They're the real Echo and Dusk, alright. I know them well enough to know they would never give out their names unless my sister or I commanded it."
Anon tilted his head to the side, "How are you so sure?"
"If it helps, sir," Dusk spoke up, "I vividly remember watching over you at the nightclub six months ago while you were dancing. You also drank six lava flows, tipped thirty bits, and needed Sergeant Javelin to help carry you back to his house after you threw up in the alleyway on Whinny road." He recalled.
Anon rolled his tongue in his mouth, "Alright then. Fair enough." He relented, sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck.
"Now that that's settled, let's get back to the topic of the infiltration team." Luna instructed, redirecting all eyes back to her.
"I volunteer as well." Javelin added, prompting Luna to look over to him.
"Sergeant, are you sure?"
"It was my plan, Princess. I should go. Besides, I've been serving in the castle for years. I know my way around well enough to get us to Princess Celestia asap." Javelin explained, a determined look in his eye.
"Don't forget about me." Anon spoke up, prompting all eyes in the room to dart over to him.
"What!?" Luna exclaimed.
"You guys are gonna need as much help as you can get. Besides, I already made a promise." Anon replied, looking to Javelin, Dusk, and Echo.
"Absolutely not! Anon this mission is extremely dangerous to begin with, and you're not even a guard! You don't even have any armor!" Luna exclaimed, quickly closing the distance to Anon's side.
"He may not be a guard, but he can sure fight like one." Javelin spoke up, redirecting Luna's attention over to him.
"Sergeant, I couldn't care less if Anon was the best fighter here, he's not a combatant!" Luna cried, before turning back to Anon, "You could be captured in there! Who knows what kind of horrible torture the queen could inflict on you!" She pleaded.
"Princess, with all due respect, we need literally all the help we can get right now." Dusk spoke up, once more pulling Luna's attention away from Anon.
"If what Sergeant Javelin says is true, then we could definitely use the extra muscle. The three of us aren't going to stand a chance in Tartarus against all the changelings in there if we're compromised, and if we're going to be retrieving Princess Celestia, we're almost certainly going to be compromised." Echo added.
"B-but, I-" Luna started, only to pause as Anon placed his hands on her withers. She quickly turned her head to see the tall man as he kneeled down beside her.
"Luna, I'll be alright. I've already cracked a few skulls on my over here. These guys are tough, but they're not that tough.
Luna's lower lip trembled, "A-Anon... if something were to happen to you... I could never forgive myself."
Anon pulled her into another hug. The lunar princess immediately accepted the embrace, shutting her eyes as she breathed in his scent, "You need to trust me this time. We may have had our falling out before, but I don't want to let a bunch of ugly bugs suck my soul out for the rest of my life and enslave you ponies. I want a future, and I'm gonna fight for that."
Luna wrapped her forelegs around his midsection and squeezed him closer, "I missed how smooth your skin feels." She whispered.
"And I missed how soft your fur feels." Anon whispered back, stroking his hand through the fur of her wither.
"If you're successful... will I see you again?" Luna questioned, her voice as soft as a quiet zephyr.
"You will. I promise." Anon responded, squeezing Luna tighter once more.
Luna gave a shaky nod as she finally released the hug and pulled away. She stepped away from Anon completely, two noticeable tear streaks on her cheeks.
"O-Okay... be careful, Anon." She ordered, her voice cracking slightly.
"I will." Anon nodded, with a small smile.
Luna returned the nod, before wiping the tears away and clearing her throat. Once she was presentable again, she turned back toward the rest of the ponies in the room and straightened her posture.
"Very well. I suppose this might go down in history as the day four stallions saved us all from the changeling invasion." She chuckled.
"I'll drink to that." Javelin laughed.
"Seconded." Dusk grinned.
"Right. Prepare yourselves, then. As of this moment, we have no idea what exactly is waiting for you all in the castle. Be prepared for anything." Luna ordered, her voice once more regaining it's authoritarian nature.
"Yes Princess!" The three stallions saluted.
Before Luna could say anything else, a commotion outside drew the attention of everyone in the room. All eyes darted to the broken window to see dozens of Royal Guards making their way toward the boutique. All of them looked weathered, and covered in cuts and bruises. Several were wrapped in bandages around their forelegs, hindlegs, or barrels, while others walked with limps or were carried by their comrades.
At the front of the group, covered in dirt and bruises, strode Lieutenant Valorant, a bandage wrapped around her head and covering one of her eyes. Her helmet was missing, and for the first time since Anon met her, the illusion of her armor was no longer present. Her deep purple coat was finally visible, along with her fiery red mane and tail, and her deep red irises that seemed to exude confidence.
Anon hurried out of the boutique to greet the approaching ponies, followed closely by Luna, Javelin, Dusk, and Echo. Once they were all outside, and the platoon of ponies arrived in front of them, Lieutenant Valorant snapped to the position of attention in front of Luna.
"Third Platoon, Hay Company, reporting, ma'am." Lieutenant Valorant greeted.
Luna nodded, "Glad you managed to make it, Lieutenant."
Anon smiled as he crossed his arms, "Told you I'd get you the backup you needed."
"Thank you for that. We wouldn't have lasted much longer." Lieutenant Valorant gratefully replied.
"Casualty report?" Luna questioned, a worried from on her face as she surveyed the platoon.
"Three MIA. We've got at least a dozen wounded, but the rest of us are ready to go, Princess. A bit battered, but more pissed off than anything." Lieutenant Valorant responded, firmly.
Luna nodded, "Very well. The casualty collection point is over there in the bakery. Have your wounded brought there, Lieutenant, and then prepare your ponies for the assault. We'll need to provide a suitable distraction for the infiltration team."
"In-filtration team? Princess?" Lieutenant Valorant tilted her head to the side.
Anon raised his hand, "That's us."
Lieutenant Valorant looked over Anon, Javelin, Dusk, and Echo with confusion written all over her face. After a few moments, she let out a small chuckle and shook her head.
"Eh, you know what? Why the hay not? Can't be the craziest thing I've heard today."
Author's Note
Aww, they had a reunion! For the record, no the frying pan is not going anywhere. Hope you guys liked this one. I had a lot of fun with it. The next chapter is going to be a doozy, and you'd better believe the one after that will be even more intense. I'm looking forward to it almost as much as you guys probably are lol
All's Fair in Love and War
Chapter 31: The Underground Railroad
"We're clear on the plan then?" Dusk questioned, looking between Anon, Javelin, and Echo.
"Roger." Echo curtly replied, adjusting his hoof blades.
"Got it." Javelin nodded.
"Let's go save everybody." Anon added, gripping his frying pan in his hands.
"Alright. As soon as they begin the assault, we move." Dusk replied.
The quartet was posted up in one of the destroyed buildings closest to the castle. Changeling patrols buzzed back and forth in front of the large structure, almost as if to flaunt their new ownership of the castle to the ponies and Anon. Dusk peeked his head up just high enough to look out a window at the changelings in front of the main gate, before a bright red signal flare shot through the sky, over the castle.
The changelings all simultaneously froze in their movements and looked up at the flare. Almost immediately, a hail of magical artillery shot through the air and slammed into the changeling front lines, exploding into a sea of smoke so thick that it blocked the sun out.
"That's the signal! Let's go!" Dusk ordered, rushing to the door.
Anon, Javelin, and Echo quickly followed after him as the sounds of a charging army roared from behind them. Anon barely spared a glance back to see hundreds of flashes of light as bolts of magic and changeling fire was fired back and forth.
While the assault began behind them, Anon's group rushed to the archery range just outside the castle. They stayed low as they moved, the sounds of buzzing and explosions echoing all around them in the thick smoke. Dusk led from the front, quickly ushering the group along the outside of the castle wall until they were no longer in the smoke and just a few hundred feet from the archery range.
Echo cast a glance behind them as the group slowed their advance in favor of a more stealthy approach, "How long do you think they'll be able to keep them busy for?" He inquired.
"Best I can see is half an hour. There were only about a thousand of us and probably ten thousand changelings all over the castle." Javelin admitted, his brow furrowed in disdain.
"All the more reason we get this right." Anon chimed in.
"Agreed. Now quiet. We're about to reach the archery range." Dusk added from the front.
As the group reached the end of the castle wall, they arrived at the outside edge of the archery range. They took cover behind the hay bales used to stop the crossbow bolts, and peeked over to see any signs of changeling activity. Aside from a few guards still holding their positions at the obvious doorways leading into the castle, there were no signs of any bugs.
"Looks mostly clear," Dusk whispered, before turning to Javelin, "Where's this entrance?"
Javelin pointed to the hay bale furthest away from them, "Over there. Under the hay bale. It's a trap door." He informed.
Dusk nodded, before ducking back behind the cover and leading the group over to their new destination. While they moved, Anon and Echo kept their eyes peeled to the sky for any signs of flying changelings that might spot them.
After a minute of walking, they arrived at the hay bale in question. Javelin quickly set about lifting the object with his magic while Dusk looked over their cover to ensure the changeling guards didn't notice them moving anything. Luckily, the changelings appeared more fixated on the battle happening in the front of the castle, and weren't even looking in their direction.
"Go, now!" Dusk whisper shouted.
Javelin nodded before flipping the hay bale over and opening the trap door below it. Once it was open, Dusk jumped down into the hole, followed by Anon, then Javelin, and finally Echo, who closed the door behind them once he was inside. Javelin's horn lit up once more, and a dull thud sounded from above.
"Put the hay bale back." He announced, before casting an illumination spell that lit his horn up with a dull blue light.
The group shared a collective nod before pushing through the small tunnel. Anon had to crawl on his hands and knees while the rest of the ponies kept their heads low to avoid hitting the ceiling.
"Jesus... they made this thing for Celestia and Luna to escape in? I can barely fit in here and they're pretty much my size." Anon muttered as he crawled forward, Javelin's tail being the only thing he could really see.
"It was made when they were a lot younger... and smaller. Been pretty much abandoned for centuries, but all personal guards are informed of it just in case." Javelin explained, casting a glance over his wither.
"How long is the tunnel? Where does it resurface?" Echo questioned, from the rear.
"It's about four hundred hooves long. We'll surface in a janitor's closet on the west wing. The one just across from the gym." Javelin explained, ducking under a wooden support.
"Four hundred hooves? Faust, this is gonna take forever." Echo groaned.
"I don't know the conversion. Is that like, three hundred feet or something? Cause if we gotta crawl a football field, I'm not gonna have a good time." Anon spoke up.
"What's a football field? Is that like buckball?" Echo asked.
"You know, I meant to ask you about that too. You've mentioned it a few times." Javelin added.
"Will you three please focus." Dusk sighed from the front.
"Right, sorry about that." Javelin apologized.
"Just trying to keep my claustrophobia at bay." Echo replied.
"Aww fuck, why'd you have to mention that? Now I'm getting claustrophobic." Anon whined, crawling over a rock.
"I'm getting dizzy back here." Echo mentioned.
"Have you tried breathing exercises? I heard it helps with that." Javelin responded.
"The air down here tastes weird. Too stale, like moldy bread." Echo shook his head.
At the front of the group, Dusk let out a long, suffering sigh, "This is gonna be a long bucking crawl."
.
.
.
.
.
Dusk pressed the trap door cover up enough to glance through the narrow slit between the door and the floor. Once he was sure there were no changelings in the supply closet, he nearly silently pushed it open completely and clambered out into the relatively small space. Javelin quickly popped up behind him, while Anon stood up in the hole since there wasn't enough room for all of them.
"Alright. You know the plan. Find Princess Celestia, and free her. All other ponies in the castle are secondary." Dusk whispered, pressing his ear against the door.
"Got it." Anon nodded.
Once he was satisfied that there were no hoofsteps or buzzing coming from just outside the doorway, Dusk quietly opened the supply closet door and stepped outside. Javelin followed right behind him, while Anon climbed out of the tunnel and gave a helping hand to Echo. Once they were all out and in the west wing, just outside of the gym, Javelin took the lead, heading toward the staircase leading to the second floor.
"Any idea where we should even begin to look?" Anon whispered, leaning down to Dusk.
"The wedding was happening in the throne room. Celestia didn't defeat Chrysalis there, so it's the most likely location. I doubt she'd have her drones move the princess somewhere else since the queen hasn't left the throne room either." Dusk quietly replied.
The group reached the stairs and started their ascent, their eyes scanning every direction as they took each step with a calculated slowness.
"As long as there aren't any more tunnels for us to go crawling through, I'm fine with wherever we have to go to find her." Echo added, with a shiver.
"Don't worry, bud. I think we're done with tunnels for the day." Anon offered with a friendly smile.
Echo gave a thankful nod, before resuming his scanning. The group hastily covered the rest of the stairs in silence, and soon found themselves on the second floor.
"Throne room's one more floor up. Problem is, the main stairwell is pretty much the only way to get there." Javelin explained, glancing back and forth for any patrolling changelings.
"That's the center point of the castle. We'll be completely exposed." Dusk shot back.
"The only other way is to fly up there, and unless Anon and I suddenly grow wings, or the changelings outside are just blind, that's the only option we've got." Javelin responded, looking back over his wither.
Dusk sighed quietly, "Alright. Let's just be fast. Maybe we can get through there to the third floor before any bugs notice if we're quick."
"Alright. Let's go." Javelin quietly announced, before leading the way once more.
Anon tightly clutched his frying pan in his hands as the group proceeded onwards through the hallway leading to the more open areas of the castle. A faint buzzing reached his ears, growing louder with every step the group took toward the main stairwell. Within a matter of minutes, they arrived at the end of their hallway, and found themselves just across the massive foyer leading up to the staircase.
Dozens of changelings flittered about, buzzing all over the massive room as ponies imprisoned in goo and changeling pods laid helpless beneath them. The group watched, part in horror and part in morbid fascination, as the changelings periodically landed on pods to siphon love from the unconscious ponies inside. Pink energy flowed from the captive ponies and into the changeling's mouths, before the bug horses greedily gulped down the love essence with vigor.
"That's just not right..." Anon whispered, his brow heavily furrowed in disgust.
"There's way too many of them. We need to go a different route." Dusk shook his head, turning around, only to freeze in his tracks as he saw a lone changeling down the hall.
"Buck." He muttered, before the changeling opened its mouth to screech.
Javelin immediately leapt forward, his horn sparking to life and conjuring a bolt of energy that rocketed itself down the hallway and speared into the changeling's face, cracking its chitin and knocking it out instantly. Before they could celebrate, the group slowly turned around to the room behind them, finding that the entire room was silent, and dozens of eyes were staring at them.
"Run!" Dusk cried, before breaking into a gallop back down the hallway.
The rest of the group instantly followed suite, and barreled down the hallway as fast as their legs could carry them. Just as quickly, the sound of buzzing wings crept up on them, pushing them to run even faster.
"They seriously all heard that!?" Anon exclaimed as he leapt over the downed changeling.
"Of course they did! It was loud as shit!" Javelin responded.
"Anon, Javelin! Break off down the next hallway and hide! We'll draw them off! Use that time to get to the princess!" Dusk ordered, casting a glance back at the two of them.
"What!?" Both Anon and Javelin cried in unison.
"Just do it! No time!" Dusk shot back, before reaching the stairwell leading back down to the gym and stopping.
Echo brought his hooves to a screeching halt alongside Dusk while Anon and Javelin begrudgingly rushed down the next hallway and out of sight. As the bug horses rounded the corner to chase the group, they only saw Dusk and Echo at the top of the stairs.
"Well... buck." Echo sighed, pulling out his hoof blades.
"Think we can take all of them?" Dusk asked, rolling his neck.
"If we can spread them out down in the gym." Echo replied.
"Sounds like a plan," Dusk nodded, before looking at the quickly approaching changelings, "Hey! Over here! You want us!? Come get us!" He shouted, before turning and diving down the staircase.
Echo followed after, almost immediately followed by the sea of changelings as they descended once more.
Anon and Javelin watched from the hallway corner, both panting and in awe at the sight.
"Did they just..." Anon started.
"Y-yeah... I think they did... Buck, those guys are so cool." Javelin admitted, shaking his head in disbelief.
"Well let's not waste their distraction. Come on." Anon said, breaking from the wall and quickly jogging over toward the hallway leading to the main foyer.
Javelin quickly trotted up after him, and after a short trek, they arrived at the foyer. All of the changelings were gone, having left behind all of their pony prisoners and pods. As Anon and Javelin walked past the captives toward the main staircase in the center of the room, the captives barely even stirred from the presence of the man and pony.
"Jesus Christ... they barely look alive." Anon muttered, stepping over a pod with one of the maids laying unconscious, inside.
"If I understand correctly, they're supposed to keep the pony inside in a kind of trance. Makes it easier for them to syphon the love from them since they can't actively fight back." Javelin explained, casting a sad look at the hundreds of empty pods lining the walls, floor, and even ceiling.
As they progressed toward the stairs, several ponies looked up to them from their goo prisons, but they appeared so tired and weak, that they didn't even manage to say anything.
"We'll get you guys out of this. Just hold on a little longer." Anon offered, giving an encouraging smile to the prisoners.
The gesture went unreciprocated, prompting Anon to sigh and turn his attention back to ascending the stairs, only to bump into Javelin. The stallion was frozen in place, his eyes locked on a single pod glued to the wall just next to the staircase. Anon gave the stallion a puzzled look, before glancing up at the object of his attention, and nearly dropping his frying pan in the process.
"Raven?" Anon whispered.
The secretary mare was clearly unconscious, and suspended in a pod next to several other members of the Princesses' staff. Before Anon could say or do anything, Javelin rushed toward the pod and quickly set about prying it open.
"Anon, help me get this thing open!" Javelin cried, pulling at the seams with his hooves.
"Dude, keep your voice down!" Anon whisper-shouted as he ran over to the unicorn's side to assist.
Between the two of them, they were able to pry the pod hatch open, and dump Raven out into Javelin's waiting hooves. He quickly squeezed her closer to him and wiped the extra goo off of her face, along with stray locks of her hair.
"Raven? Raven!? Can you hear me?" Javelin questioned, fear quickly boiling over in his voice.
Anon looked down at the secretary with a frown. He pressed his fingers against her neck to check for a pulse, and quickly managed to find one, prompting a sigh of relief to escape his lips.
"She's okay, I think. Is she breathing?" He asked.
Javelin quickly pressed his ear against her muzzle and listened for breath. After just a few seconds, he let out a shuddering breath and hugged her closer.
"Yeah, yeah she's breathing. Thank Faust." He said, resting his forehead against hers.
For a few seconds, both Anon and Javelin simply enjoyed the small victory, but the moment instantly shattered when the sound of buzzing wings once again reached both of their ears. Anon looked over to the source of the noise, finding their entrance to be the location the bug horses were approaching from.
"I guess Dusk and Echo couldn't take them all." Anon muttered, almost angrily.
"Help me get Raven out of here." Javelin pleaded.
Anon looked down at the secretary and guard with a furrowed brow. He quickly leaned down and, with some help from Javelin, slung Raven onto his shoulder. Once they were both sure he wasn't going to drop her, they rushed to the staircase and ascended toward the next floor. They only made it half way up before the buzzing reached the hallway entrance and rushed into the room behind them.
Anon and Javelin both spared a glance back at the swarm of changelings as they rushed into the room, their compound eyes quickly locking onto the pair as they nearly froze on the stairs. Although, noteably, the number of changelings was considerably smaller than before. It appeared as if more than half of them were gone from the original group that followed the night guards.
"Run!" Javelin cried, charging up his mana bolts as he galloped up the stairs.
Anon pushed to keep up with the stallion, but the additional weight of Raven on his back slowed him down significantly. Changelings darted toward him, only to be swatted out of the air by Javelin's mana bolts as they speared the changelings and sent them careening into the ground below.
With the extra pep in their steps, Anon and Javelin reached the top of the stairs in just a few seconds. They dashed to the doorway leading into the next hallway as dozens more changelings swarmed after them. Javelin reached the doorway first and turned around to cover Anon as the man rushed in after him. The guardstallion fired bolt after bolt of magical energy, knocking changelings away left and right.
Anon hurried into the hallway and quickly set Raven down on the floor behind Javelin before turning around and moving to shut the massive doors. As he set her down, the mare's eyes fluttered open, and she gasped at her sudden awareness of her surrounding. She sluggishly looked up to see Javelin firing mana bolts like a machine gun while Anon singlehandedly pushed the two story doors closed one by one. Once the final door shut, both of them slammed the massive wooden block over the locking mechanism, effectively locking the changelings out.
Both Anon and Javelin collapsed to the floor, panting and sweating in exhaustion. They both slowly looked up at the lock as changelings pounded on the door again and again, barely managing to even make vibrations on their side. They slowly brought their hoof and fist together and bumped, before resuming their panting.
"J-Javelin? Anon?" Raven blearily questioned.
"Raven!" Javelin exclaimed, forcing himself back to his hooves and over to her side.
"W-what happened?" Raven asked, slowly getting to her hooves as Javelin reached her.
"You were trapped in a changeling pod. We managed to get you out just before the bugs swarmed us." Javelin explained, pulling her into a tight hug.
Raven gratefully returned the hug before looking over to Anon curiously, "A-Anon, what are you doing here? I thought you were back down at Javelin's house." She inquired.
Anon shrugged, "Well the bugs started blowing up the city, so I came to help... I figured that as much as she pissed me off... I don't want Celestia to be stuck in one of those pods for the rest of her life." He admitted, with a half smile.
"Celestia's been captured? What about Luna?" Raven asked.
"She's leading the assault on the castle right now. She's good. It was... good to see her again." Anon explained, the faintest hint of a blush creeping up on the corners of his cheeks.
Raven eyed Anon curiously for a moment before nodding, "Well that's a relief. If we can get Celestia free and bring her to Luna, we might just be able to win this fight after all."
"Raven, what the hay happened here? I was on patrol outside the castle when it happened so I didn't see anything until it was too late. How did the changelings break the dome?" Javelin questioned.
"It... it's slowly coming back to me," Raven shook her head, "The wedding was going well... Cadence was walking up to the alter, but then... then another Cadence showed up. The one getting married turned out to actually be Queen Chrysalis. She's been controlling Shining Armor for weeks and drained him enough to weaken the barrier. Then the changelings just broke through." Raven recalled.
"What does the queen look like?" Anon questioned.
"She looks like the rest of them, I guess. Only bigger. Much bigger. She's Celestia's size." Raven replied.
"Well at least that'll make her easier to smack in the face." Anon chuckled.
Raven blanched, "Anon, you can't tell me you're seriously planning on fighting the queen of the changelings with a bucking frying pan ."
"Oh I'm not planning on fighting her," Anon began, eliciting a sigh of relief from Raven, "I'm going to beat the fucking shit out of her for fucking up my day, and hurting the ponies I care about." He smiled.
Raven and Javelin slowly shared a look of concern.
"Right. Well we need to get moving. We don't have much time to get to the throne room before the assault gets repelled and we lose our cover." Javelin explained, standing up to his full height once more.
"I'm coming with you both. There's no way in Tartarus I'm leaving the fate of Equestria up to a frying pan." Raven announced, getting to her hooves as well.
"Fair enough. Let's go." Anon replied.
The group turned and headed down the hallway leading toward the throne room. They moved swiftly, while attempting to keep as quiet as possible. Javelin led from the front, while Raven followed close behind and Anon brought up the rear. Within a few minutes, they were standing outside of the throne room doors, and the sound of conversation inside of the massive room barely reached their ears. It was too far away to make out, but loud enough to know that it was a definite feminine voice speaking up on the opposite side of the room.
Javelin, Raven, and Anon all peeked around the doorway to look into the room and see the situation for themselves. Immediately, Anon saw Celestia being held prisoner in one of the pods glued to the ceiling. Unlike Raven, her eyes were open, and she seemed to be alert as to what was going on around her, if her eyes darting back and forth at the ponies below were any indication. Anon instantly felt anger well up in his heart at the sight of the sun princess trapped the way she was, and how the tip of her horn was noticeably blackened from her fight with the queen.
Below her, the six ponies who bore the elements of harmony and Cadence were similarly imprisoned, only they were stuck in the changeling goo, not the pods. However, just next to them, standing on the alter all by himself, Captain Shining Armor stood unimprisoned, although his legs swayed back and forth, and he had a far off look in his eyes. Several changelings buzzed around the captured ponies, leading the group's eyes to the largest bug horse in the room.
Queen Chrysalis strode confidently across the room, her gaze fixed on the battling city outside while she wickedly grinned at her near victory.
"Go! Feed!" She exclaimed, prompting the changelings around her to excitedly buzz off out the windows.
Anon, Javelin, and Raven quickly ducked back behind the doorway before the queen could look back at them.
"Now's our chance. Jav, can you help me get up to Celestia?" Anon questioned.
"I'm not sure if I can hold you up, dude. No offense, but you're way heavier than what I can pick up with telekinesis." Javelin apologetically explained.
"I can help," Raven spoke up, eliciting a look of confusion from Anon and Javelin, "What? Telekinesis is probably the only spell I really use. I'm really strong with it." She indignantly replied
"Fair point," Javelin relented, before turning to Anon once more, "You sure? If she sees you, there probably isn't much we can do to help."
"I'm sure. We need to get Tia out of there, and then together we can kick that bug horse back to whatever shithole she crawled out of." Anon nodded.
Javelin and Raven returned the nod, before both of their horns ignited, and Anon was quickly engulfed in a bluish-white aura and lifted off of the floor. He flailed about for a moment before catching his bearings and giving a thumbs up to the pair of ponies now below him. They quickly levitated him into the room while the queen's back was turned, their eyes closed in concentration as the man slowly and nearly silently hovered over to Celestia's pod on the ceiling.
As Anon approached, Celestia's eyes darted over in his direction, widening immensely upon seeing him. As he made contact with the pod, grabbing the sides to keep himself steady, Celestia pressed her hooves against the pod window, a relieved, yet fearful look in her eyes. Anon quickly shushed her before prying at the lid with his hands and frying pan. He managed to crack the seal, allowing the vapors inside to vent into the air, creating a soft *pshhht* sound. Both Anon and Celestia froze as a new voice spoke up from below.
"Well, well, well, what do we have here?" Chrysalis's distorted voice announced as she rotated her head a hundred and eighty degrees to look at Anon.
Author's Note
Dusk and Echo are badasses. Change my mind.
Hope you guys liked this one. The next chapter is gonna be even crazier.
All's Fair in Love and War
Chapter 32: Things We Do For Love
Anon felt his blood freeze in his veins as a green aura enveloped him, and then quickly snatched him out of the air, breaking Javelin and Raven's magical holds in the process. He plummeted straight down toward the bug horse queen, his stomach in his throat as he gasped in shock from the sudden feeling of falling. Above him, Celestia pounded on the slightly ajar pod door.
"No!" She cried.
Just before slamming into the ground, Anon was suddenly and abruptly brought to a halt by the queen's magic. He was then forcefully pulled over to the imposing creature and held up for her to inspect. With only a few inches of space between them, and Anon's entire body frozen in place by the superior magic of Queen Chrysalis, he was forced to stare back into her serpent-like, sickly green irises. Her fangs poked far out of her mouth, almost down to her chin, and her mane, if it could even be called that, hung like a torn bedsheet down one side of her face.
"My, my... what an interesting creature you are." Chrysalis purred, her eyebrow raised in amusement.
"Stop it, you filth!" Celestia shouted from above, through the crack in her pod.
Chrysalis let out a cackling, manicanal laugh, "Oh? The Princess of the Sun has something to say? So you fancy this creature? Tell me, what's its name?" She asked, pulling Anon's face right up next to hers.
As if to highlight just how much more power she had over the defeated princess, Chrysalis flicked her long, forked tongue out and licked all the way up one side of Anon's face and around to the other side. Anon struggled not to cringe too visibly from the blatant molestation, while Celestia's eyes burned with rage.
"I. Said. That's. ENOUGH!!" Celestia screamed, pounding on her pod door with each word and finally breaking the door free.
The solar princess quickly dropped down to the floor below with only a single flap of her large wings. Once she was on level ground with the changeling queen, she fixed her with the deepest scowl she could muster. Behind her, Raven and Javelin rushed into the room, their horns ignited and at the ready.
"Oh, please. I've already beaten you once, Celestia. It's not like having your little secretary and bodyguard will change anything this time around." Chrysalis snickered, before breaking into more manicanal laughter.
"Chrysalis, release him at once!" Celestia roared, her burnt horntip sparking to life once more.
"You want me to release him ?" Chrysalis responded, before looking at Anon, "Ah, so he does have a gender. I thought I smelled something definitively... male , about him. Well, what an interesting specimen you are." She purred, nuzzling her cheek against Anon's.
"Get away from him!" Celestia cried.
"I think I'd like to keep him. We're already getting along so well. I mean, look, he's such a good listener." Chrysalis teased, floating Anon around like a puppet.
At Celestia's indignant glare, Chrysalis paused, and sniffed at the air. She tilted her head to the side and sniffed again, prompting a look of confusion from everyone else in the room. Finally, the queen looked over to Anon, leaned in close to his face, and inhaled deeply once more.
"Interesting... such a strange love he has for you... hurt, but unyielding... the love he has for you will make an excellent snack." Chrysalis wickedly grinned.
Celestia looked at Anon, their eyes meeting for just the briefest of moments. With her lip trembling, Celestia stared into Anon's eyes as if they were her last moments. The single second of silent communication was all that was needed, and Celestia stomped her hoof on the ground, her eyes glowing white hot with magical energy.
"Release him." She demanded.
"Or what ?" Chrysalis replied, venom in her voice.
The changeling queen pulled Anon behind her, but did not release her magical hold over his entire body. Celestia, Javelin, and Raven slowly spread out, nearly encircling the queen as she watched them with a bemused smirk.
"You know, I knew that you ponies were dumb, I mean, I acted nothing like the real Cadance and you were all fooled for weeks , but this has to be a new level of stupidity for you. I mean, really? You're just going to... circle me? I'm not even a pony and even I know that you can't cast any real spells with your horn that burnt, Celestia." Chrysalis spat, her eyes narrowing ever so slightly.
"I think you'll find, that I'm a bit more resilient than you'd think." Celestia shot back, magic arcing off of her horn as she grit her teeth in concentration.
Chrysalis eyed the three ponies circling her for just another moment, before releasing her magic hold on Anon, unceremoniously dropping him to the floor behind her, and firing a bolt of green energy at Raven. Instantly, a golden shield wrapped around the secretary pony, protecting her from the blast, although she nearly fell over from the suddenness of the attack. Across from her, Javelin seized the opportunity and fired a mana bolt at the queen, only for her to effortlessly smack it away with her horn.
Celestia barely had time to conjure another shield for herself before Chrysalis launched a bolt of magic straight at her face. The blast of energy rippled off of the barrier, dissipating harmlessly into the air as Celestia charged her horn once more. To her left, Raven rushed toward Anon, her horn sparking to life as she attempted to help him up. To her right, Javelin similarly rushed toward the queen, sending mana bolt after mana bolt at the Queen sized bug, only for his attacks to barely even make her flinch.
"I had thought that the royal guard might be a problem, but I suppose that was hardly a concern to worry about." Chrysalis chuckled, before her horn flashed neon green.
Celestia's eyes widened immediately, "Javelin, Raven! Get back!" She cried, helplessly reaching forward with her hoof.
Chrysalis released a wave of energy that rippled forward into the secretary and guard, knocking them both into the air and across the throne room. They both hit the floor near the entrance, and were knocked out immediately. Celestia cast a worried glance back their way, before the sound of buzzing wings forced her to return her attention to the changeling queen darting toward her like a bullet.
Before Celestia could even conjure another shield, Chrysalis was mere inches away from her, horn lowered and at the ready. Celestia barely intercepted with her own horn, locking the two in another standoff as their horns grinded against one another.
"Well this certainly seems familiar, now doesn't it?" Chrysalis jeered.
Celestia grit her teeth as she pushed back against the queen, "I won't let you hurt any of them, again." She grunted.
"As if you could stop me," Chrysalis chuckled, "You can barely even stand up or cast any spells right now. You're slow, old mare. You're weak, just like every other pony here... and I'll take so much joy in the meal your little toy over there will be providing me once I've dealt with you." She smiled a wicked, infuriating smile.
Celestia's eyes widened immediately, before her face contorted into a scowl. Her mane and tail whipped back and forth quicker with every second of the standoff, and even her eyes shifted from their usual magenta to a deep amber while flames licked at the tips of her mane and tail.
"I swear by my sun... if you touch him again... I will end you." She growled.
"I'd like to see you try!" Chrysalis sneered, shoving forward, only to find that she couldn't push Celestia back any further.
Celestia pushed Chrysalis back a step, and then another. The changeling queen's smirk quickly turned to a look of confusion as she looked down, finding that Celestia's hooves were pressing so hard into the marble floor that cracks were forming underneath her. Chrysalis glanced up in surprise, only to freeze at the sight of Celestia's now blood red eyes, and serpent like amber irises. The sun princess's mane and tail whipped around behind her, both now completely engulfed in flames as she continued to push forward.
Chrysalis struggled to push forward, finding that the alicorn of the sun was simply too strong to push back. Hoof by hoof, she was forced to retreat under the now hateful gaze boring into her eyes as if she was the sole target of over a thousand years of pent up hatred. Chrysalis felt herself heating up considerably from the proximity to Celestia's flaming mane, and nervously gulped as she stepped back once more.
Finally, after several steps back, Chrysalis broke the horn lock and leapt back away from Celestia. Her wings buzzed as she quickly created distance, only for Celestia to teleport next to her and buck her into the wall across the room. Marble shattered and concrete splintered as the queen's body impacted against the wall at near terminal velocity, and she struggled to figure out what even hit her before she was torn from the wall by bright red magic and thrown into the floor. The changeling queen struggled to recover her bearings before hooves slammed into her over and over again, distorting her vision and making her see double.
"You! Will never! Hurt! Him !" Celestia cried out, tears leaking from her tightly closed eyes as she punctuated every word with another vicious slam from her hooves.
After nearly a minute of beating the queen into the ground, Celestia stopped her attack, panting for breath as she looked at her work. The queen looked intact, but her face was noticeably bruised and bleeding from several places. Then, a voice spoke out that made the sun princess freeze.
"Celestia?" Anon asked, looking up to the mare with wide eyes.
Almost instantly, the flames extinguished, and her eyes returned to their normal magenta color.
"A-Anon..." Celestia began, before Chrysalis suddenly exploded up out of the floor and sent her careening through the air.
Celestia landed on her barrel, her body skidding to a halt just a dozen feet away from Anon.
"Tia!" He cried as he rushed over to her side.
Anon grabbed Celestia's head and cradled her close to his chest while he checked the rest of her body for injuries. Aside form her still slightly burnt horn, she seemed okay.
"You know, I have to say, I wasn't expecting you to put up that much of a fight after the last one." Chrysalis chuckled, before spitting out some green blood.
"A-Anon... run." Celestia tiredly whispered, exhaustion quickly setting in.
"I'm not leaving you. Not again." Anon responded, gently squeezing her closer.
"Aww, isn't that just so sweet." Chrysalis sneered.
Anon released his hold on Celestia and stood up to his full height. Celestia weakly reached out to him, only for her hooves to slip from his leg as he stepped closer to Chrysalis. He bent over and picked up his frying pan from the floor, taking a deep breath in the process.
As Anon stepped toward her, Chrysalis raised an eyebrow in amusement, "Are you serious? You can't be serious."
"I'm dead serious." Anon replied, before cocking his arm back and throwing the frying pan at the queen with all his strength.
The stainless steel pan rocketed through the air, heading straight for the changeling queen. Time slowed to a crawl as the handle spun round and round toward its target. Each foot of distance was covered in just a fraction of a second, but it felt like hours as all eyes followed the stainless steel blur rocketing toward the queen. Then, the pan collided with Chrysalis's face, and bounced off, not even leaving a mark. The frying pan fell to the floor, a small dent in its side as the queen stared back at Anon with a mixture of amusement and bewilderment on her face. Even Celestia looked up at Anon with confusion.
"Did you just..." Chrysalis started.
"Throw a frying pan at her?" Celestia finished.
Anon stood in silence, his body still locked with his hand outstretched from throwing the weapon. He maintained his pose and silence for a few more seconds before standing back upright and coughing into his fist.
"W-well, it still had the effect I wanted." Anon shrugged.
"And what effect exactly was that? To annoy me?" Chrysalis questioned, raising an eyebrow.
"No. To distract you." Anon replied.
Chrysalis squinted even further in confusion, before a realization hit her, and she turned to look at the rest of the ponies in the room. Both Cadance and Shining Armor were in the final moments of casting a powerful spell, if their horns touching and the magic energy swirling around them was any indication, and the rest of the elements of harmony bearers were free as well. Chrysalis moved to stop them, only for the couple to complete their spell, and release a wave of magical energy the exploded outward in all directions, halting her in her tracks.
"Noooooooooooooooooooooooooo!" Chrysalis cried out at the spell collided with her, knocking her out of one of the remaining castle windows and sending her flying off into the distance.
The spell passed harmlessly over everyone else in the room, including Anon, but sent all of the changelings outside and in the castle flying off into the sky, presumably out of Equestria all together. Anon walked over to the window and watched as the little black dots that were changelings soared off over the horizon, and eventually out of sight completely.
"I love it when a plan comes together." Anon smirked, before turning back around to Celestia as she struggled to get to her hooves.
He rushed to her side and helped her up, receiving a grateful smile from the sun princess in return.
"Thank you. A-Anon, I can't even believe you're here right now... are you alright?" Celestia asked, looking over him like a mother would over her child.
Anon chuckled, "I'm fine. You're the one that took a beating back there. How are you?" He pressed, looking over Celestia's bruised body.
"I... I am alright. Just a little sore and beaten, but I'll recover. Anon... what are you doing here? N-Not that it isn't great to see you again! Just... it was so dangerous for you to come here. You could have been seriously hurt." Celestia replied, leaning forward and pulling Anon into a hug.
Anon gladly returned the hug. He tightly wrapped his arms around Celestia's barrel and neck as he squeezed her close.
"I told you, I'm not leaving you again... I know we ended on bad terms... but I didn't want anything bad to happen to you." Anon admitted, quietly.
Celestia choked back a sob as she nuzzled her cheek against Anon's neck just a little harder.
"I-I'm so sorry, Anon... All these months, you're the only person I've thought about... you mean so much to me and what I did to you... I-I just... I'm so sorry." She whispered, tears leaking out of her tightly shut eyes.
"It's okay, it's okay. I forgive you." Anon whispered in turn, his own tears threatening to fall.
That was all it took for the dam to break, and Celestia sobbed quietly into Anon's shoulder as the two stayed locked in their embrace. After a few moments, Javelin and Raven approached them, along with the rest of the ponies in the room.
"Princess? Are you hurt!?" Twilight exclaimed, her eyes wide in alarm.
"We can get a medic over here right away." Javelin spoke up, turning toward the doorway.
"I-I'm alright." Celestia said, finally managing to control her sniffles.
The surrounding ponies observed in silent concern as Celestia gently patted Anon's back and pulled away, wiping the tears from her eyes in the process. Once she had her emotions under control, she turned to see all the ponies present with a grateful smile on her face.
"Twilight, dear, I'm so sorry I didn't listen to you earlier. These last few months have been... well, I have nopony to blame but myself. I should have listened to you. Maybe then this entire ordeal could have been avoided." Celestia admitted, her eyes briefly drifting down to the floor.
"Oh, no, no, no! Princess, you have nothing to apologize for!" Twilight cried, rushing over to Celestia's side, and startling Anon in the process.
"Sorry." Twilight mumbled to Anon as she wrapped her hooves around Celestia's barrel.
Both Anon and Celestia let out a small chuckle at the purple pony hugging the sun princess as if she was her own mother.
"She seems to really like you." Anon smirked.
"Twilight is my most faithful student. I was going to properly introduce you to her before the wedding, but... well, you know." Celestia admitted.
Twilight released her hug on Celestia and looked over to Anon, "I remember you. Anonymous, right? Princess Celestia tasked me with finding a way for you to go home back when Nightmare Moon first brought you here. I'm sorry we couldn't find a way to do that, but I'm glad you were here. That distraction was exactly what we needed." She spoke up, turning to Anon and extending her hoof.
Anon smiled as he bumped the small purple pony's hoof, "I appreciate it."
"So yer that hyu-man that Twi was geeking out over last year?" Applejack spoke up, looking over Anon, curiously.
"The one and only." Anon puffed out his chest.
"You must be really, really close to the princess, huh?" Rainbow Dash added, having watched the spectacle earlier.
"Well when you're engaged to both of them for a little while, you do tend to get pretty close." Anon shrugged.
"I thought that your wedding got called off." Rainbow replied, tilting her head to the side in confusion.
"Eh, there were some... complications." Anon shrugged.
"What kind of complications?" Twilight inquired, looking over to Celestia.
Just as Celestia opened her mouth to speak, a flash of light next to the group startled everyone present. She turned to see Luna standing just a few feet away, both green and red blood mixed on her wings, face, and barrel. Fluttershy cringed and hid behind her mane as Luna folded her wings, small droplets of blood dripping onto the floor from her wingtips. Both Pinkie and Rarity fought to hide similar reactions, while Rainbow and Applejack simply stared with wide eyes.
Luna's teal eyes frantically searched the room for just a microsecond, before turning to the group, and prompting a relieved sigh to escape her lips.
"Oh, thank Faust you're all okay." Luna sighed, rushing over to Anon and Celestia, "I was so worried."
"Princess Luna!" Twilight happily exclaimed, only for her expression to contort into one of horror as she saw all of the blood on the lunar princess, "Oh my gosh, Luna! Are you hurt!?" She exclaimed, rushing to get to her hooves.
"I am fine, Twilight Sparkle. None of the blood is mine, just unfortunate guards who were near me while we battled the changelings. Also lots and lots of changeling blood, too." Luna offered with a lopsided smile.
Twilight blanched while Anon snickered. The rest of the ponies present shared mixed looks of confusion, horror, and just a smidge of amusement. Luna quickly walked over and hugged her sister, before turning to Anon and tightly squeezing him against her. He happily returned the hug, although he cringed at all the blood that was smearing onto his shirt and pants. Regardless, he held the hug until Luna was sufficiently happy and released him.
"You were starting to worry me for a minute there. You're not hurt, are you? Chrysalis didn't do anything to you, did she?" Luna pressed, looking over Anon much like Celestia did earlier.
Anon chuckled, "I'm fine. Really. You guys worry too much." He replied, cupping Luna's cheek and rubbing circles in her fur with his thumb.
Almost immediately, several gasps rang out behind them, but Anon continued to rub Luna's cheek with his thumb, prompting her to softly sigh and close her eyes as she leaned into his hand. Her wings fluttered at her sides, while her tail wagged back and forth in happiness.
"Where are my cheek rubs?" Celestia questioned, putting on her best puppy dog eyes.
Anon chuckled, "Alright, alright. Come here." He held out his other hand invitingly.
Celestia quickly leaned into his hand, and smiled widely as Anon rubbed circles on her cheek as well. Much like her sister, the sun princess's tail wagged back and forth in happiness as Anon gently stroked the soft fur on her face.
"P-P-princess-es?" Twilight meekly stuttered, a hot blush covering her face as she watched the two princesses of Equestria wagging their tails like a pair of excited puppies.
Behind the group, Javelin, Raven, Cadance, and Shining Armor watched in both amusement, and surprise at the scene unfolding in front of them.
"So, Miss Inkwell?" Cadance spoke up, gaining the attention of the secretary.
"Yes?" She replied.
"Do you see now why I did what I did?" Cadance asked, a smug grin forming on her face.
"I... wait, you couldn't have possibly known what was going to happen over six months !?" Raven exclaimed, defensively.
"Of course not, but I did have a hunch that Anon still had feelings for them. I was sure he'd make the choice that would make him happiest in the end." Cadance replied.
"And you just knew that he would be happiest with the princesses again?" Javelin asked, raising an eyebrow, "I mean, for all we know, he might still not want a relationship or anything."
Cadence nodded, "That's true. I have another feeling that he wants more than that though." She replied with a wink.
Javelin and Raven shared a look before letting out a small chuckle. As Cadance walked away to speak with Anon, Raven quickly cleared her throat and fixed Javelin with a suddenly serious look.
"Javelin?" She asked.
"Yeah?" Javelin replied, looking at her curiously.
Raven stepped toward him and gently kissed him on his cheek.
Javelin's face exploded into a massive blush as he sheepishly chuckled, "Ehhehe, w-what was that for?"
"That was for saving me from that pod." She smirked.
"Oh, well I c-couldn't leave-" Javelin begun.
Raven immediately leaned forward and pressed her lips against his, almost knocking the stallion over with her sudden forwardness. After a moment, Javelin's eyes slowly fluttered shut and he returned the kiss, a smile on his muzzle the entire time. After a few moments, Raven pulled away, a small smirk on her face as she noticed how flush Javelin's face was.
"A-and that?" Javelin managed to ask, a dopey smile on his face.
"For looking so cute the whole time." Raven winked.
Javelin opened his mouth to reply, only for Shining Armor to approach and divert his attention.
"Sergeant." Shining spoke up, making Javelin snap to the position of attention.
"Yes, sir." He replied, instinctively.
"You did a fine job fighting your way over here. I wanted to thank you personally for helping to save us from Chrysalis. You all gave us the time Cadance and I needed to finish the spell. You did great work." Shining explained, before offering his hoof to Javelin.
Javelin gratefully bumped Shining's hoof, "Thank you, sir. I only did what any guard would have done in my place." He humbly replied.
"On the contraire, I think you went above and beyond the call of duty today. We're gonna need some new leaders after everything is all said and done here. I would absolutely love to give you the rank of Staff Sergeant." Shining offered, a warm smile on his muzzle.
Javelin's eyes widened in surprise as he stared back at his commanding officer, "I-I would be honored, sir," He replied, before looking over to Anon and the princesses. He bit his lip in hesitation for a moment, before looking back over to Shining, "Although, with all due respect, I think I'd like to stay where I am, for now."
Shining's eyebrows raised at the stallion's answer, before he glanced over to Anon and the group and chuckled, "Found a friend, have you?"
Javelin chuckled, "You could say that, sir. Couldn't have saved the day without him."
Shining nodded, "You could say that again."
Author's Note
Nothing says "I love you" like beating the piss out of an evil queen, huh?
Hope you guys liked this one. It was a lot of fun to write :)
All's Fair in Love and War
Chapter 34: Double Date Night
The Next Day
Anon nervously paced back and forth in the dining room while Javelin sat on his haunches by his side. Across from them, Raven sat at the dining room table with a parchment in her hooves as she eyed her final piece of paperwork of the day for any imperfections. Once she was satisfied, she put the piece of paper down and fixed Anon with a slightly amused smirk.
"You know you don't need to be nervous, right? It's just a date." Raven said.
Javelin chuckled, "Ah, he always gets like this before his dates."
"I can't help it. This is the first real date I've been on since everything happened between us and... well I want things to just go right this time." Anon sighed, shaking his head.
Raven hopped out of her chair and made her way over to Anon's side before patting his thigh with her hoof, "Hey, it's gonna be fine. Celestia and Luna already like you more than you even realize. Trust me, it's gonna be fine." She said, a comforting tone in her voice.
Anon chewed his tongue for a moment, before giving a small nod, "Alright, alright. You're right. I'm just overthinking this." He relented.
"There you go. That's the spirit." Javelin smiled as he patted Anon's other thigh.
"Well, we'll let you have the dining room to yourself. Celestia should be done lowering the sun any moment now, so she'll be here in a second." Raven explained, heading over to the doorway, Javelin quickly following suite.
"You guys leaving me?" Anon joked.
"Well, of course. You've got your date tonight, and we've got ours." Javelin replied, a smile on his face as Raven nuzzled his cheek.
Anon smiled as he watched the pair reach the doorway, "Alright. You two have a good night. I'll see you tomorrow." He called after them.
"See you tomorrow! Have fun on your date!" Javelin responded, before following Raven out of sight.
Anon gave a small wave before turning back around to the balcony to watch as the solar princess slowly lowered the sun once more. The massive ball of flame dipped down the horizon until it hung just above the mountains off in the distance. The evening skyline gently shifted from a deep blue to a warm crimson and orange hue. Anon watched, part in amazement, and part in idle fascination at the sight, before Celestia turned around, her magical golden aura dissipating like smoke, wisping away in the wind as she walked toward him.
"Hello, Anon." Celestia greeted, her voice like a birdsong in a warm summer morning.
"Hey, Celestia," Anon replied, smiling gently, "You know, I don't think I'll ever get tired of seeing that."
"I admit, the sight has not lost its luster even after a millennia." Celestia admitted, looking lovingly at the sunset.
Anon nodded as he put his hands in his pockets, "So will Luna be joining us?" He asked.
Celestia shook her head, "She and I wanted to take you on dates in our own special ways. We thought that splitting the date into two parts would be the best way to do that. Once our date is finished, she wanted to show you something special." She explained.
Anon tilted his head to the side, "Well, uh... I guess that's fine, but I might be pretty tired when it's time for my date with Luna then. I'm not exactly nocturnal like she is." He chuckled.
"She said not to worry about that. Luna was adamant that you be asleep for what she has planned, anyway." Celestia explained.
Anon perked up slightly at the news, "Oh, a dream date? That sounds cool as hell. Alright then. Well, then let's do this." He smiled.
Celestia nodded, "Then come with me. I have to take you to my room for this." She said.
Anon nodded and followed the solar princess as she turned around and led him down the hallway toward her room. They swiftly made their way through the castle, and arrived at the princesses bedroom in a matter of minutes. Once they were inside, Celestia quickly showed Anon inside and closed the door behind them, giving a nod to both guards outside in the process.
"Just give me a moment to take these bothersome things off." Celestia announced, before magically removing her regalia.
Anon's eyes widened ever so slightly as he watched Celestia strip from he royal garb. Once she was completely naked, she turned to him, tilting her head to the side in curiousity.
"What's wrong?" She asked.
"Oh, nothing, nothing. Just never seen you naked, before. Just kinda feels... I don't know, strange? It feels like I'm not supposed to see you like this." Anon admitted, sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck.
Celestia chuckled, "I recall you explaining that your species is usually clothed, and I understand the confusion. I just needed to take all of that off for what we're going to do."
Anon slowly nodded, "Right, so... what exactly are we going to do?"
Now it was Celestia's turn to blush, "W-well, I've been thinking for a long time about our date at the museum, back when I was Sunshine..." She trailed off.
Anon tilted his head to the side, "Okay, what about it?" He asked, curiously.
"Well... I seem to recall you telling me that back on your world, you once rode on the back of a... horse?" Celestia continued, the word sounding alien on her tongue.
Anon's eyes lit up, "Wait a minute... you don't mean..."
"If you wanted... I'd love to try it. You did say I was the only pony large enough to potentially carry you... and I'll admit, the idea has sounded very interesting to me ever since." Celestia explained.
"This isn't... this isn't a sex thing for you, is it?" Anon cautiously asked.
Celestia instantly blushed heavily, "W-what!? No! No, of course not!" She hastily asserted.
Anon laughed out loud, prompting a heavy pout from the solar princess, "Oh man, you were so scared." He snickered.
"I just didn't want to make you uncomfortable." Celestia explained, with a sigh.
"Ah, I'm just messing with you. I think that'd be really cool to do, but, uh... there isn't really too much room up here for us to do much other than just walk around your room for a bit." Anon relented, turning to observe the interior of the room with a raised eyebrow.
Rather than reply with words, Celestia simply unfurled her wings and gave Anon a winning smile. After a moment of confusion, the offer dawned on him, and his eyes widened in surprise.
"Wait, wait, wait, you can't mean... flying? Right?" Anon nervously gulped.
Celestia nodded, her smile never leaving her face, "I do. I think it would be a wonderful experience for the both of us. Plus, I'll get to show you a view of Equestria you've only ever dreamed of."
Anon held a nervous expression on his face as he slowly walked over to Celestia and the balcony. Once he was past her, he made his way over to the railing and looked down over the edge, all the way to the courtyard below, and the ponies walking home for the day. With a hesitant chuckle, he glacially turned around and looked at Celestia once more.
"A-are you sure it'd be a good idea? I-I mean, what if your ponies saw? What would they think?" Anon asked.
Celestia shook her head, "Honestly, I'm tired of caring about what my subjects think my relationship with you. I like you and that's all that matters. Besides, you're the 'hero of Canterlot' now, didn't you hear?" She snickered.
Anon's shoulders slumped slightly, "I... suppose... a-are you sure that it's safe?" He asked, in a last ditch effort to avoid the impromptu flight.
"I won't let you fall. Never." Celestia declared, stepping toward Anon with a look of compassion on her face.
"Alright... alright, let's, uh... let's do this, then." Anon said, swallowing his nerves.
Celestia smiled as she stepped toward Anon and leaned down low enough for him to easily climb onto her back. He was easily able to swing his leg over her haunches and effectively straddle her back, but he made sure to avoid hitting her wings with his shoes. Once he was on top of her, Celestia slowly stood back up to her full height, lifting Anon completely off of the ground in the process. She took a few preliminary steps to test out the weight and balance of having Anon on her back, only to find that the weight was quite comforting, and only made that much better when he leaned forward to place his hands on either side of her collar.
"Comfortable?" Celestia asked, looking back over her wither at Anon.
"Uh, yeah... yeah this is a pretty familiar view, I guess... just one question though. What am I supposed to hold on to? You don't have a bridle and reins or anything, do you?" Anon inquired, looking around the room, curiously.
Celestia blushed as she looked away, "Well, we won't have need of those for a while, yet. For now, just grab onto my mane, or if you'd like, you can wrap your arms around my neck. I'll be fine either way." She offered.
"If you say so." Anon relented, leaning forward and hugging Celestia's neck, and pressing his cheek against the top of her head in the process.
"Trust me, this will be a fun experience for us both." Celestia smiled, before starting a slow trot in a circle around her bed.
Anon eyed the mare with a puzzled expression as she did several circles in her bedroom, before reaching the door on the far side of the room from the balcony and pausing. She turned to face the open doorway leading to the outside world and gave a little shake as she pawed at the floor with her foreleg.
"Hold on tight." She instructed, prompting Anon to do just that.
Once she felt him squeeze her, Celestia broke into a gallop toward the doorway. She covered the entire room in less than a second, and in one great leap, left the balcony. Her wings spread wide, instantly catching the air and propelling the both of them forward even faster. Wind gusted through both of their hair, sending it billowing out behind them as Celestia flapped her wings again and again, gaining even more altitude with each flap.
As he hung on for dear life, Anon felt the cool wind blasting his body as Celestia flew into the warm light of the fading sunset. He slowly opened his eyes, and gazed out at the beauty of the skyline before him. The sight rendered Anon completely speechless, as the sheer majesty of the blood orange horizon came into his view, and captivated his attention.
Rocky mountains off in the distance looked like small boulders from the great height, and even the clouds themselves appeared as nothing more than a fluffy blanket for a small child as they gently drifted across the sky. Rivers flowed and luscious green filled the land below, only to be tinted orange by the sun as it kissed the edge of the horizon goodbye for the night.
Anon felt a tear drip from his eye and fall to the world below while he stared, captivated by the sheer magnificence of the world before him. His eyes gradually drifted down to see the being granting him the fantastic view, and her brilliantly flowing mane of rainbows as she wore a serene smile that genuinely carried all the way to her eyes. Her wings gave a few more flaps before she settled into a gentle glide, and looked back to him. Upon noticing his tears, she immediately spoke up, concern weeding its way into her voice.
"Anon? Are you alright? You're crying." She said, her voice still as gentle and harmonic as Christmas bells against his ears.
Anon wiped the tears from his eyes, before fixing Celestia with a smile that warmed her heart, "It's just... so beautiful. All of it." He said, placing his hand on her cheek and rubbing her ear with his thumb.
Celestia struggled to keep the tears from welling up in her eyes, but lovingly leaned into the gesture of affection without hesitation. She nuzzled her cheek against the palm of Anon's hand for a few moments before he pulled his hand away and looked back out over the world below.
"You know... I was really scared of falling before, but now... now all I can think about is how amazing this is. Your world is absolutely breathtaking." Anon admitted, softly.
Celestia followed his gaze over the horizon just as a tear fell from her watery eyes, "It certainly has its moments, I admit. Although, my sun doesn't simply shine for the trees and nature, it shines for everypony under it. You included." She replied, a serene smile lingering on her face.
After a moment of pause, Anon leaned forward and rested his head atop of Celestia's while he hugged her neck.
"I never did get a chance to tell you how beautiful I think you are... well, at least not when you were... well, you." Anon mumbled, reveling in the warmth of Celestia's mane against his cheek.
The sun princess gingerly reached up to Anon's hand with her foreleg, and pawed at him until he wrapped his fingers around her hoof. She felt a wave of warmth rush over her as her heart fluttered in her chest, and with a shuddering sigh, she spoke once more.
"You're too kind, Anon... thank you. Were it anypony else, I might think they were simply just buttering me up." She said, with a soft laugh.
Anon chuckled, "Well I guess it's a good thing that I'm not someone else, then." He replied.
For a few moments, they glided in silence, both content to simply enjoy each other as the last of the sun's rays sunk below the horizon. Sparkling stars quickly appeared in their vision as the sky turned shades of violet, purple, magenta, and finally, dimmed to darkness.
"I don't think I've ever told you how you make me feel, Anon... at least, not the full truth." Celestia announced, prompting a curious look from Anon.
"How's that?"
"You have something of a headstrongness about you that I've admired ever since the first day I met you. When you're forward with me, instead of dancing around issues, or simply speak to me as if I was any other mare, it... it makes me feel like a normal pony again. When you've been nothing but 'The Princess' for a thousand years, feeling normal again, it's... amazing. I feel like I can be myself around you... even if I've been doing a poor job of it up until now." Celestia elaborated, a small frown forming on her muzzle, only for Anon to gently scratch her cheek and redirect her gaze back up to him.
"Hey now, let's not get too wrapped up in the past. You almost went full supernova and fought Chrysalis when you were already injured and weak just to protect me. I forgave you." Anon comforted, rubbing small circles in Celestia's fur with his thumb.
The white alicorn smiled gratefully as Anon gave her more reassuring scratches and affection. She craned her neck around to look at Anon properly, before gently pressing her forehead against his. They both closed thier eyes and simply enjoyed each other's presence while the wind softly whipped past them.
"I suppose I am just a tad overly apologetic, even now." Celestia murmured.
Anon simply chuckled.
"Just know... that you make me feel happy to be alive. Even in a world as beautiful as ours... being who I have to be grows old after a thousand years. You make each day feel like a new adventure. I cherish that." Celestia finished, pulling away just until she could look at Anon once more.
Anon opened his eyes and found two pools of magenta staring back at him with a kind of love he wasn't sure he'd ever even seen before. As the cool air passed by them, all he could see was the caring devotion in her eyes. He saw no more lies, no more deception, and it made his heart soar.
"Is this the part where we're supposed to kiss?" He asked, lovingly brushing his fingers through her mane.
"Only if you'll have me." Celestia replied, her voice nothing more than a whisper in the gentle wind.
Without another word between them, Anon leaned forward, and pressed his lips against hers. The contact was soft, gentle, but lingering, and as they pulled away from the chaste kiss, both of their hearts beat in sync.
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As Anon walked away from Celestia's room with a heavy sigh, he tiredly turned around to the sun princess and smiled.
"I had a really good time, Celestia. Thank you." He said.
"Me too. I hope you're not too opposed to going on more flights in the future. I had such an enjoyable evening that I find myself wanting more." Celestia replied, a small blush on her cheeks.
"More of the flying, or more of me?" Anon teased.
"Can't a mare have both?" Celestia replied, prompting a laugh from both of them.
"Well, I should probably be getting to bed. Not sure what Luna's got in store for me, but if it's anything like what we just did, then it's gonna be great." Anon smiled.
Celestia nodded, "She was ecstatic about what she was going to show you. I hope you two have a fantastic date." She smiled.
"Thanks. I'd better get going, but, uh... I'll see you later, yeah?" Anon asked, a glimmer of excitement in his voice.
"Of course, Anon. I'd love to." Celestia beamed.
With that, Anon leaned in and wrapped his arms around Celestia. While they were close, he placed a small kiss on her lips, making both of them blush, before pulling away. With a small wave, Celestia headed back into her room to sleep for the night, while Anon made his way over to his old room in the castle. Within a few minutes, he found his destination, stepped inside and prepared for bed. Sleep came quickly enough, and before he knew it, he was sleeping peacefully in his old bed.
When Anon opened up his eyes, he found himself sitting in the middle of an open field filled with tall grass that waved back and forth with the gusts of wind passing over them. Large mountains surrounded the field and framed the brilliant moon as it reflected distinctly blue light back down onto his surroundings, framing the world in a bright azure hue.
Anon quickly sat up and looked at the horizon to find that planets hovered close by, along with millions of speckling stars that gave even more illumination to the ground below. The brilliance of the night sky illuminated everything so brightly that Anon almost had to squint from the sheer volume of light filling the canyon he found himself in.
"Is it too bright? Here, let me fix that." Luna spoke up, her voice emanating from all around Anon.
Instantly, the brightness dimmed to an acceptable level, and Anon found himself searching for the source of Luna's voice.
"Luna? Where are you?" He asked.
"Oh, my apologies. I'll be right there." Luna replied, before several of the stars above suddenly swirled and moved out of the sky.
Anon watched in fascination as the stars danced back and forth with each other, eventually forming a spiral that darted down to his side and exploded into a flash of light. Once the flash was gone, Luna stood before him, her crown and regalia forgone and a simple teal bandana wrapped around her neck.
"Hello." Luna smiled.
"That was quite an entrance. You look great, by the way." Anon returned the smile.
"Thank you, Anon. You look dashing as well. My apologies for not being here to greet you. I had to finish up with another pony's nightmare over in Manehattan. As of now, however, I am officially free for the rest of the night." Luna beamed.
"Awesome. How'd you free up the whole night though? I thought nobody else could do your job." Anon asked, curiously.
Luna dismissively waved a hoof, "Oh, Equestria can go one night without my full protection. Ponies are hardier than that, I mean, if we weren't, then all of ponykind would have been wiped out during my thousand year absence." She replied.
Anon shrugged, "I guess that's fair enough. Now, what did you want to do for the night? Since I've got you for the whole night, and everything." He teased.
"Well," Luna blushed slightly as she rubbed her foreleg with her hoof, "This isn't exactly your dream, right now. I was hoping to show you... a bit more than just that." She explained.
"What do you mean?" Anon asked, tilting his head to the side.
"I would much rather show you than tell you. I think it's more exciting that way." Luna replied.
"Okay. I guess I'm ready when you are." Anon shrugged.
With a nod, Luna walked over to his side, her horn already glowing white hot with magical intent. Anon watched in slight apprehension as she reached his side, and cast a spell that surrounded them both in a transparent bubble. Once that was done, the bubble quickly lifted off of the ground and flew into the sky. Anon watched the world around him as the bubble flew along the inside of the canyon, quickly passing a river, trees, bushes, and a whole manner of other strange structures that stuck out of the ground like large toothpicks.
Anon pressed his hands against the bubble as he noticed dozens of white dots littering the canyon floor below.
"Hey, Luna? What are those little white blobs down there?" He asked.
"Those are pony's dreams, Anon. Yours looked just like that until I pulled you here." Luna explained.
"Uh huh... and where is 'here', exactly?" Anon questioned, turning to look at Luna.
"The dream realm." Luna happily answered, just as the bubble reached its final destination.
The bubble popped, leaving Anon and Luna standing on a platform in front of a massive swirling vortex of dreams that spiraled and circled each other in a mesmerizingly rythmatic display. Anon stared in awe a the sight while Luna simply walked toward the beautiful sight as if it were nothing special. After a moment, Anon rushed to catch up with her.
"So, what do you think? I like to organize them this way so I can easily keep track of the nightmares." Luna said, fixing Anon with an excited smile.
"Luna, this is... just wow. This is amazing. I've never seen anything like it." Anon replied, looking up at the dreams passing by.
Each individual dream could be seen in brief flashes as the white blurs passed by. One showed a mare with a stallion, simply enjoying each other's company, while another showed a colt playing with his friends. Anon let out a breathless chuckle at the sight, before one dream in particular caught his eye.
"Why's that one red?" He questioned, pointing to the offending dream.
"Hmm? Oh that's a nightmare," Luna let out a sigh, "I hate leaving pony's without my aide, but as I said, tonight is a night for the two of us. Not for all of Equestria." She replied.
"You know, Raven told me about it a little bit, and you have too, but neither of you really went super into detail about it. How exactly do you deal with a pony's nightmares?" Anon asked, curiously.
"It depends on the nightmare. If it's something as simple as a filly giving a presentation in front of their whole class, then I usually just speak with them about not letting anxiety get the better of them. If it's something more dramatic... like nightmares of the changeling invasion, then I have to be much more... violent. " Luna admitted.
"Woah, woah, woah," Anon replied, waving his hands around, "You mean to tell me that you've been getting to kick changeling ass this whole time and you didn't invite me?" He questioned, leaning forward with an expectant look on his face.
"W-well... I wanted to... but I wasn't sure if you would enjoy the act as much as I do." Luna replied, sheepishly rubbing her foreleg.
Anon quickly looked at the nightmare, finding that there were indeed changelings present in the dream, and they were quickly encircling the lone pony in the scene.
"Well now's your chance to make it up to me." Anon smirked.
A grin quickly spread on Luna's face, "You know, smashing Changelings does sound romantic when you think about it."
"It sure does. I just wish I had something to hit them with." Anon responded.
Luna laughed, "Anon, this is the dream realm. Anything you can dream is reality here." She explained, before a set of navy blue armor magically appeared on her, covering most of her body.
Anon stared at Luna for a few seconds, his jaw barely resisting the urge to drop, before he looked down at himself. He took a moment to concentrate, and much like Luna, a set of green armor appeared around him, complete with a golden-visored helmet and a bright white 'one-one-seven' on his chest.
"Oh yeah. Daddy likes." Anon grinned, as he admired his new suit.
"Now, shall we go save that dreamer, Anon?" Luna asked, a smirk on her face.
"Yeah," Anon replied, his voice suddenly much deeper, "Just one more thing... I need a weapon."
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Some Time Later
Anon and Luna reappeared in the dream realm, both absolutely covered in slime green blood. They both shared a hearty laugh as their armor vanished from their bodies, taking all the changeling remains along with it.
"Ahahaha, you took Chrysalis's head off!" Anon doubled over in laughter.
"Well of course! She said my flanks were the size of my sister's. That's just uncalled for!" Luna replied, through her giggles.
"Aw man, that was great. That was the most fun I've had in forever." Anon wiped a tear from his eye as he finally managed to control his laughter.
"Agreed. That was much more enjoyable than the actual invasion. Much less at stake, as well." Luna nodded, walking up to Anon's side.
Anon sat down as Luna approached, a small mat suddenly appearing under him just as he reached the floor.
"Did you see the look on that pony's face? They were absolutely not expecting us to come in guns blazing like that." Anon chuckled.
"Or 'chainsaw-guns', as you called it. I thought they were going to faint when you cut that praetorian guard in half." Luna snickered as she sat down beside Anon.
"Fainting? In a dream? What would even happen then? Would you just... go into another dream?" Anon asked, raising an eyebrow in curiosity.
"I'm not sure. I've never tried." Luna laughed, prompting another laugh out of Anon as well.
"This has been great, Luna. Thanks for this. I've had an absolute blast." Anon smiled, as Luna leaned against him, resting her head on his shoulder.
"I'm glad. I was worried you would be terrified of the dream realm. You know, you're the first creature I've taken here in a thousand years." Luna replied, looking up at the swirling dreams in front of them.
Anon followed her gaze and smiled, "Thank you for sharing it with me."
For a few moments, they simply enjoyed the silence and view, but eventually, Anon turned his head to look down at the lunar princess with a soft smile on his face. She met his gaze, her teal eyes staring up at him with the comfort and gentleness of a calm ocean.
"Anon?" Luna asked.
Anon didn't answer. He simply leaned down and pressed his lips against hers. Luna gasped silently as he kissed her, but quickly returned the kiss in earnest. After a time, they pulled away from each other, a hot blush on both of their faces as they continued to stare into each other's eyes.
"I think I can safely jot this down as the best evening of my life." Anon smiled.
Luna returned the smile, "It's only the start of many, many more."
Author's Note
Why yes, I have been playing Halo a lot lately, how could you tell?
I hope you guys liked that one. I had a lot of fun writing it. As for the vote earlier this week, an absolutely overwhelming amount of you were fine with the time skip, so I'm just gonna leave it as is. We're reaching the end of this story, and I don't feel like it'd be worth the time and effort to do a seperate thing after the fact anyways. I have a commission story to write after this one, you see, and a lot of people wanted a sequel to Cold, so I should probably get on that too, huh?
All's Fair in Love and War
Chapter 35: Wedding Bells
Many Months Later
The royal sisters stood on the altar, both dressed in their own wedding gowns as the bells tolled in the castle, signaling the beginning of the ceremony. Celestia opted for a white wedding dress, with a long trail that ended well past her own tail, and a slim cut that hugged her barrel tightly, save for her exposed forelegs. Meanwhile, Luna wore a magenta colored dress that was much shorter, and just barely touched the floor behind her, while also sporting a similarly slim cut that hugged her curves and helped accentuate her chest tuft.
Beside them, stood Raven, wearing a form fitting black dress that spilled over her haunches and draped to the floor, along with Cadence, who wore her own simple pink dress that showed off her features as well. Royal guards surrounded the altar in a semi-circle, with the now Captain Valorant and Shining Armor himself at the center, directly behind his wife. The room chittered with excitement as the nearly hundred ponies inside the throne room awaiting the groom's walk down the isle.
Once the bells chimed once more, the throne room doors opened, revealing Anon, dressed in his black suit, red bowtie, and two red roses sticking out of his jacket pocket. At his side, Javelin wore his dress blues, his many medals and silver star on display. A hushed silence descended upon the room, and all eyes darted to the man and his guard as they shared a quick glance. With a deep breath, Anon and Javelin slowly made their way down the aisle. Excited whispers and gasps quickly echoed through the crowd while they walked, and soon enough, Anon was standing at the altar.
Javelin gave a salute to the princesses, who gave a deep bow of thanks, before the stallion turned to Anon, smiled, and made his way over to the row of guards just outside the altar. He quickly assumed the position of attention at the end of the row while Anon stepped up onto the altar and faced the princesses. Both Celestia and Luna looked lovingly into his eyes while he smiled at the two of them, his hands clasped together in front of his waist.
After a moment, Cadence cleared her throat, prompting the crowd to immediately quiet down.
"Mares and gentlecolts, it is with great pleasure that we are all here today to celebrate the union of Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, and the soon-to-be Prince Anonymous." Cadence announced, sending the crowd into a frenzy of cheers and stomping hooves.
Anon allowed himself to grin at the sight of so many ponies cheering for him. As his eyes gazed over the crowd, he saw the element of harmony bearers in the front row, all cheering and stomping hooves in approval. Behind them, several off duty guards and maids cheered their excitement so loud that they drowned out most of the noise in the room. Anon chuckled at the sight, before returning his eyes to the two beautiful alicorns standing in front of him.
"As you all know, it has been over a millennium since my aunties have been married to anypony. Looooooooooooong before any of us were born, unless you were born on a leap year, I suppose," Cadence continued, earning a few chuckles from the crowd, "Many of you know the story, and I'm certainly not here to delay this any longer than it already has been."
Another, louder series of laughs ran through the crowd.
"It was a pretty long engagement, wasn't it?" Celestia chuckled.
"If there is anypony here who thinks that these three should not be wed on this day, please come forth and speak now, or forever hold your peace." Cadence announced.
A stallion in the very back row stood up, only for three other stallions and two mares to sit him right back down.
"Well then, if nopony has any objections, then we can continue with the ceremony," Cadence smiled, "Princess Celestia, would you please speak your vows, to Anonymous."
Celestia nodded, before looking over to Anon, "Anon, it's been quite an experience, these last few months... I know things weren't always smooth sailing between us, but the time we've spent together, has meant more to me that I could possibly ever put into words. When I chose you in that courtroom, I had no idea what was in store for us. We've had our ups, and our downs, but you make it all worth it every single day. I love you, and I can only imagine what the future holds for us. I'm just so grateful to have you by my side for it all." She spoke, her eyes watering as she stared, lovingly at Anon.
Anon smiled back at the solar princess, his own eyes misting ever so slightly.
"Beautifully said. Princess Luna?" Cadence announced, turning to Luna.
Luna smiled, looking up to Anon, "Anon, I don't need to bring up past traumas and tell you that we got off on the wrong hoof. Hay, I think all of Equestria knows that by now. What I will say, is that you've brought meaning into my rather... tedious and lonely life. Working the way I do, I rarely have anypony other than my sister to lean on when I'm down, or upset. You've changed that. Faust, you've changed that so much. Now, I cannot even imagine what it was like to finish a long night of work and not have you there to brighten my morning, or make me feel better when I'm sad. Ever since you came into my life... I haven't felt lonely anymore, and for that, I can never repay you. All I can offer is my heart, which you've already so elegantly stolen. I love you, and I always will." Luna announced, her wings trembling as she struggled to keep her own tears from falling.
Anon wiped a tear from his eye as he nodded and smiled at the lunar alicorn. A chorus of sobs and sniffles echoed throughout the gathered ponies, especially the stallions lining the aisles. Cadence smiled and nodded, before turning to Anon.
"And last, but certainly not least, Anonymous. Would you please speak your vows?" She asked, kindly.
Anon cleared his throat and looked to both royal sisters as they stood before him.
"Celestia... Luna... god, it feels like a million years since I first met you both, but it's only been about a year... So much has changed, and I honestly can't imagine my life without both of you in it, anymore. Most relationships are a full time job, but lately... it's felt more and more like a full time joy to have you both in my life. That joy doesn't end when the sun goes down, and it doesn't start anew when the sun rises. It's always there, every second of every day... When I was first brought here, I thought my life was over. I thought that I'd lost everything, and everyone... but now I'm standing here with more than I ever could have dreamed of. It's true that we've had our rough patches, and we might still have some yet. I don't know what the future holds for us, but I do know this: there are no two ponies I'd rather find out with than the two mares standing in front of me. I love you both." Anon said, softly, yet his voice carried across the throne room like a spring time breeze.
Many ponies in the crowd openly cried, and the sisters' themselves struggled to keep the tears from spilling from their eyes. Cadence smiled a gentle, loving smile as she looked back and forth between her aunts and Anon, before continuing once more.
"Would the ring bearers kindly provide the rings?" She asked.
Both Javelin and Raven stepped forward, their horns alight and three rings held in their magical grasp. Raven held one custom engraved gold band, with wording in ancient Ponish on the inside, while Javelin held two beautiful wedding rings in his magic. The first golden ring held a radiant yellow diamond, and the second silver ring, held a beautiful sapphire. The secretary and guard quickly made their way over to their respective places, and offered the rings to the princesses and Anon.
"Celestia, Luna, would you please place the ring on Anon's finger?" Cadence asked.
A mix of golden and azure magic wrapped around Anon's ring and gently levitated it out of Raven's magic. The secretary gave a quick bow before departing and allowing the princesses to bring the ring to Anon's finger, together. The golden band softly slipped over his ring finger and into position, before Celestia and Luna released their hold on the ring and awaited their own.
"Anon?" Cadence looked over to Anon.
Anon nodded and took his rings from Javelin. The guard gave a quick salute and returned to his position while Anon stepped toward Celestia. He brought the ring to her horn and gingerly slipped it over the appendage, before bringing it to a comfortable rest against her forehead. Celestia smiled as tears streaked down her cheeks.
Anon paused and took a delicate moment to wipe her tears away with his thumb. He gave a loving smile to the sun princess before leaning down slightly to Luna and sliding her ring over her horn. Luna's lips trembled as she looked up to see the ring slide down her horn to her forehead, and she gave a happy squeal once the band was in place. Anon chuckled before standing back upright and returning to his position.
Once she was sure Anon was ready to proceed, Cadence spoke once more.
"The bonds of matrimony are not short lived, nor are they easily forgotten. Celestia, Luna, do you promise to protect, cherish, and above all else, love Anonymous? In sickness and in health? 'Till death do you part?" She asked.
"I do." Both Princesses sounded off in unison.
"-And Anonymous, do you promise to cherish, protect, and above all else, love Celestia and Luna? In sickness and in health? 'Till death do you part?" Cadence questioned.
"I do." Anon answered, happily.
"Then, by the power vested in me, as the Princess of Love, and the third Alicorn of Equestria, I pronounce you mares and stallion. You may kiss the brides." Cadence announced, smiling broadly.
Anon stepped forward to Celestia and kissed her, leading the room to burst into a cheers and excitement. After a moment to savor the kiss, he pulled away and leaned down to Luna. He kissed her as well, prompting another chorus of cheers to echo through the crowd. Once he pulled away, the trio looked on at the room to find every pony inside stomping hooves in approval, or shouting their lungs out in excitement. Trumpets sounded at the open windows, and voices of an entire kingdom cried out in joy from all around Canterlot. The cheering was so loud that the even the band was drowned out, just twenty feet away.
.
.
.
.
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Anon, Celestia, and Luna stumbled through their now shared bedroom door as the moon reached its highest peak in the sky. They giggled and laughed as they made their way into the room, ensuring to close and lock the door behind them.
"Ah, it was so nice of Cadence to take care of the moon for us, tonight." Luna admitted, as she slipped out of her horseshoes.
"Not to mention the fact that she offered to raise the sun tomorrow as well." Celestia added, nuzzling her cheek against Anon's shoulder.
"Heh, well she did say that she wanted us to enjoy a nice honeymoon. Can't really enjoy it too much if you guys are constantly worried about the sun and the moon, now can we?" Anon chuckled, before reaching around and scratching at Celestia's favorite spot, just below her ear.
Celestia let out a low moan as Anon's digits found their mark and scratched away, making her more forcefully nuzzle her cheek against Anon while Luna brought up his other side. The lunar alicorn wasted no time and pressed her cheek against Anon's other hand, effectively forcing him to rub her cheek and scratch behind her ear as well. For a few minutes, Anon simply gave his mares the attention they craved while they stood together just in front of their massive bed.
The sheets were a shade of velvet, and the material was somehow even softer, yet as Anon stroked his fingers through both princesses fur, he judged theirs to be the softer material of the two. Eventually, the mares pulled away from him and slowly made their way onto the bed, both maintaining eye contact with Anon the entire time while they laid down on the soft sheets, just a scant few inches between them.
"Well, what do you say we start truly enjoying our honeymoon, hmm?" Celestia purred, licking her lips.
"We've both been dying to see what a human stallionhood really looks like." Luna added, her eyes not so subtly darting down to Anon's groin over and over again.
Anon chuckled as he observed the princesses eyeing him like a piece of meat, "I see you're still a master of being subtle, Lulu." He crossed his arms, playfully.
Luna blushed at the nickname, but did nothing to stop her eyes from lingering on his crotch for just a tad longer, "B-but of course! We are the night! Subtlety is our specialty." She grinned.
Anon and Celestia shared a laugh before Anon looked down and started unbuttoning his shirt.
"You know, I've never seen you two go at it... maybe as a wedding present you'd give me a show?" He smirked.
Celestia and Luna both paused their ogling and shared a look. Without another moment of hesitation, the mares leaned in and pressed their lips against each other. Celestia quickly asserted her dominance over her little sister by practically shoving her tongue down the younger mare's throat, startling an excited gasp out of the midnight alicorn. Not to be outdone so quickly, Luna reciprocated the motion, and a passionate battle of tongues quickly bloomed between the sisters.
As the sound of lustful kissing reached his ears, Anon looked up, finding Celestia and Luna deep in the throes of French kissing. Celestia pressed her tongue against the roof of Luna's mouth, prompting the younger sister to lick the underside of her appendage before pulling back and diving back in, this time rolling her tongue over Celestia's, and effectively pinning it under hers. As the kissing continued to grow more and more sensual, Celestia reached over and grabbed Luna's cheek with her hoof, tilting her head to the side to gain better access.
Just a few feet away, Anon stared in shock while a tent quickly formed in his pants. Despite his desire to finish undressing and join them, he simply could not look away from the raunchy display of affection shared between the royal sisters. Finally, after several minutes, they pulled apart. Celestia and Luna both licked each other's muzzles once more, before turning to Anon, finding his extremely flushed face and noticeably tighter trousers to be an indication of success.
"Enjoy the show?" Celestia asked, slightly out of breath.
Anon adjusted his collar, "Oh yeah... holy shit, that was hot." He admitted.
"I see you're quite the master of subtlety, yourself." Luna snickered, eyes locked directly on Anon's tent.
"Why don't you let us take care of that for you?" Celestia throatily murmured, her horn already lighting up.
Before Anon could say or do anything, Celestia's magic suddenly wrapped around him and lifted him off of the ground. He was quickly levitated over to the bed, before being deposited on his back, between Celestia and Luna. Both mares looked hungrily at his now painfully obvious erection, before Anon undid the last button on his shirt. Just as he tried to sit up to remove the clothing, Luna gently pressed her hoof against his chest, halting him immediately.
"I think we'd both prefer to unwrap our present, ourselves." Luna hungrily declared.
Anon slowly allowed himself to be pushed onto his back, only to find a pillow waiting to support his head. Celestia gave a warm smile to his slightly confused look before returning her attention to his bulging pants. Luna, on the other hand, quickly ignited her horn and undid Anon's belt, her eyes glued to their prize with nearly animalistic lust. His zipper was swiftly undone, and the pants shuffled off of Anon's legs within a matter of seconds. With only one last obstacle left, both Princesses leaned down and bit on the seam of Anon's underwear, before slowly, and sensually, pulling the garment down to reveal his throbbing erection.
The staff of Anon's manhood instantly sprung free of its prison, nearly smacking Luna in the face, before standing tall and proud before the sun and moon princess. Anon nervously gauged the reactions of both princesses, finding that Luna's dropped jaw and Celestia's wide-eyed stare were more than enough of an indication that they were pleased by what they saw. He let out a relieved sigh as both princesses simply stared in awe at his length.
"M-mother of F-Faust..." Celestia whispered.
"It... it's beautiful," Luna mumbled, "I need to taste it." She declared, before leaning forward.
Just before her muzzle collided with Anon's package, the Lunar alicorn paused, and took a deep whiff through her nostrils. Her pupils dilated almost instantly, and without another microsecond of hesitation, she stuck her tongue out and drew a long, slow lick up from the base of Anon's cock all the way to the tip. She quickly started from the base once more, each lick eliciting a soft groan from the man as he threw his head back in pleasure.
Shaking her head clear, Celestia quickly leaned in to match her sister's movements, and brought her tongue forward for an experimental taste. As soon as he appendage made contact with Anon's shaft, the solar alicorn moaned and shivered in delight. She took to matching her sister's movements, and within seconds, Anon's manhood was being tended to as if it were royalty.
As soon as Luna reached the tip, Celestia started at the base. Over and over again, the cock-drunk princesses licked and suckled on Anon's member, eliciting groans and moans of pleasure from the man as he writhed under their ministrations. Not content to sit out completely, Anon reached forward and rubbed each Princesses' ear with his index fingers and thumbs. Celestia let out a low whimper while Luna whinnied quietly.
Each tongue felt like velvet as they longingly licked every millimeter of Anon's pride. Soon enough, Luna made her way down to Anon's balls, taking one of the shiny smooth orbs into her mouth while she suckled like a filly. Meanwhile, Celestia used her now unimpeded access to Anon's tool to finally take him properly. She opened her mouth and easily swallowed him all the way down to the base, her lips connecting with Luna's on several occasions as the sun princess throated him.
Now breathing heavily, Anon struggled to keep his composure from the dual assault. He continued to rub each sister's ear in a display of affection, and to encourage them to continue. The sounds of lewd slurping echoed out between each bob of Celestia's head as she continued her work, her eyes closed in silent concentration while she rubbed her marehood with her hoof.
After a little while longer, Celestia finally pulled away from Anon's meat completely, a strand of saliva connecting her tongue to Anon's cock for just a few precious extra seconds.
"Would you like a turn, Lulu? His taste is exquisite ." Celestia asked, her eyes lingering on Anon's saliva-soaked balls.
"But of course, sister. I was hoping we could trade." Luna huskily replied, before descending on Anon's cock.
"You girls are gonna kill me..." Anon groaned as Luna took almost his entire length into her mouth. She couldn't quite throat him as well as Celestia, but her mouth was smaller, and tighter, leading to even more stimulation that made Anon's toes curl.
Celestia snickered before leaning under Luna's head and taking both of Anon's orbs into her mouth and playing with them with her tongue. Anon gasped as the sisters continued to take the entirety of his manhood. He pulled his hands from their heads and tightly gripped the sheets as he was slowly but surely pushed to the edge.
"G-girls... I'm about to..." He grunted, doing his absolute best to hold back for just a few seconds longer.
Celestia instantly pulled away from Anon's balls and grabbed Luna's head with her hooves. The lunar princess let out an inquisitive 'hmm?' before her head was shoved down on Anon's cock, making tears form at the corners of her eyes as she gagged from the sudden intrusion. Celestia forcefully fucked her sister's throat with Anon's tool, despite her attempts at freeing herself, until the man could hold back no more, and groaned loudly as he finally came.
Jet after jet of white hot human spunk shot down the lunar alicorn's throat as her muzzle was pressed all the way against Anon's pelvis. She choked and gagged once more, before Celestia finally released her hold on her sister's head, allowing the smaller alicorn to finally come up for air. Before a single spurt of cum could be missed, Celestia darted down and enveloped Anon's member in her soft lips, where she greedily sucked down the rest of his first load.
As Luna struggled to get air back into her lungs, Celestia slowly pulled off of Anon's shaft. She opened her mouth and rolled the cum around over her tongue in front of the awestruck human, showing him that every drop was saved. Eventually, she swallowed down the last of the cum and let out a giggle at Anon's slack-jawed expression.
"Holy fuck... I had no idea you were so damn... kinky ." Anon admitted.
Luna coughed, "Usually I'm the aggressive one..." She said, glaring at Celestia.
"Apologies, sister. I suppose I got a little carried away there." Celestia admitted, a bashful look on her face.
"Well I know how you can make it up to her." Anon commented, interlocking his fingers behind his head and leaning into a more relaxed pose.
"How's that?" Celestia asked.
"Why don't you go down on her while I take care of you?" Anon suggested, with a small shrug.
Both sisters shared a look of surprise.
"Wait, are you saying that you're ready to go again already?" Luna questioned, in disbelief.
"I mean, I'm still hard, aren't I?" Anon chuckled.
Celestia and Luna looked down to Anon's shaft to find that it was indeed still hard.
"Humans truly are a different breed." Luna whispered.
"Buck, I need it inside me." Celestia muttered.
"Alright. On your back, then. I like to actually feel like I'm doing something when it comes to this part." Anon replied, getting to his knees on the bed.
Celestia complied, and rolled over onto her back, only for Luna to immediately sit on her face.
"You might as well get to work down there. I want to enjoy this view." Luna announced, before looking down at her sister's sex and Anon's cock.
Albeit with a groan of protest, Celestia complied, and dutifully dove her tongue into Luna's marehood. She deftly traced over the folds of her flower and quickly found her clit, where the sun princess suckled and kissed over and over again. Luna moaned and shuddered as her sister went to work, her wings splaying out to their full span as her back arched and her tongue lolled out of her mouth.
Meanwhile, Anon quickly lined himself up with Celestia's marehood. Her inviting pink folds contrasted nicely against her snow-white coat, and after only a moment to appreciate the view, Anon pressed the tip of his head against her labia. A muffled moan emanated from Luna's pussy, but the lunar alicorn simply rubbed herself against her sister's face as an order to continue her licking.
Anon slowly pushed himself forward into the sun princess, each millimeter of her amazingly soft, yet somehow still delightfully tight pony snatch sucked him in and caressed his member as if it was a part of her. A shiver of delight ran up her body as Anon finally bottomed out against her, his hips connecting with hers as her clit winked out against the top of his cock. The stimulation was strange to Anon, but more than welcome, as the soft nub gently, yet firmly kissed his shaft again and again.
Without any further delay, Anon pulled his hips back until he was almost completely out of Celestia, before thrusting all the way back into her. Their hips connected with a meaty *plap*, and once more, the sun princess moaned into her sister's folds.
"Hah... don't... don't be gentle with her. Rut her, Anon. She's been a bad filly." Luna huskily murmured, as Celestia continued to suck on her clit.
Anon needed no second invitation, and immediately increased the speed and force of his thrusts. The effect was instant, and the sudden upshift in tempo made Celestia's wings snap out to their full span as well as force a deep, whorish moan right into Luna's canal, the vibrations of her voice making the night princess squirm. As Anon pounded the sun pussy, Luna shakily managed to lean down and latch onto one of Celestia's impressive teats. She suckled on the prickly flesh like a newborn foal while Celestia's body was rocked back and forth by Anon's thrusts.
"I'm... getting close... girls." Anon muttered through grit teeth.
Luna released her sister's teat with a *pop*, "Inside! Cum inside her!" She demanded.
Anon opened his mouth to protest, only for a moan of approval to sound from Luna's folds. With hardly a shrug, he accelerated his pace once more, this time to animalistic proportions. His motions nearly threw Luna off of her sister, but the lunar princess held firm, her tongue darting out to lick Celestia's clit as Anon's cock pitoned in and out of her sopping wet folds.
Finally, Anon thrust his hips all the way forward, and came deep into Celestia's pussy. Half a dozen spurts of pearly white human seed pumped directly into the sun princess, sending her over the edge as well. She screamed out her ecstasy into Luna's marehood as her wings, hindlegs, and forelegs went rigid. Stars appeared in her vision as her entire body convulsed from the force of her orgasm, and marecum flowed from her sex, drenching the sheets under her. Then, she went limp.
Luna pulled herself off of her sister, finding the sun princess's face drenched in her sticky marecum, and her eyes closed as she softly panted for air.
"Heh, looks like she came so hard she passed out." Anon chuckled, catching his breath.
"Faust, I don't think I've ever seen her orgasm that much before... you must have really hit the right spot." Luna purred, looking down to Anon's sopping wet, softening tool.
Anon raised an eyebrow in amusement, "You look like you want another round."
"Well... Celestia got to experience your stallionhood... Is it not right that I should get to experience it as well?" Luna innocently questioned, her gaze still locked right where it was.
Anon chuckled, "Alright, alright. I can go one more. Just give me a seecohmygod!" He exclaimed, as Luna lunged forward, taking his length into her mouth once more.
Luna's cheeks hollowed as she sucked down all the remnants of her sister's marecum and Anon's human seed off of his cock. She bobbed her head back and forth on his shaft, earning a groan of satisfaction from the man as he placed both hands on her head. He gently brushed some stray strands of her mane out of her eyes while rubbing small circles into her fur with his thumbs.
For a while, the lunar alicorn simply fellated Anon's erection while he brushed his fingers through her hair and fur. Once he was back at full mast, however, she pulled away and fixed him with a sultry look.
"Ready?" She asked.
"Ready. How do you want to do this?" Anon inquired.
"Like Celestia. Only I get to see you ravage me." Luna grinned as she laid down on her back.
"I wouldn't have it any other way." Anon smirked, crawling on top of the dark alicorn.
Luna gently cupped the sides of Anon's head with her hooves, "Breed me." She whispered, her voice dripping with lust.
Anon nodded, quickly lining himself up with the black outer lips of Luna's sex, before thrusting all the way in. The lubrication provided by both Luna's arousal, and saliva from her efforts earlier, made the thrust effortless. Luna cried out in lust as Anon's member reached all the way to her cervix.
Anon grunted from the feeling of Luna's noticeably tighter folds, and warm, moist insides. Celestia's folds felt somehow softer, and gentler, but Luna's felt like an entirely different combination. He liked them both equally, but there was no denying that he wasn't going to last nearly as long in the tight confines of the lunar alicorn's pussy. Without giving her a chance to catch her breath, Anon pulled out and thrust back in once more.
Over and over again, he thrust into the moon princess, each time eliciting a moan or gasp while her entire body rocked back and forth. Her wings splayed painfully taught to their full extension, occasional twitches of ecstasy making them jolt up or down. Luna's tongue lolled out of her mouth as she panted for air under Anon's muscular frame. Sweat dripped from his brow and chest as he pushed his hips as hard and fast as he could go.
Luna struggled to concentrate on anything other than the masculine scent flooding her nostrils, and the feeling of euphoria filling her sex one thrust at a time. As a drop of Anon's sweat dripped down onto her neck, Luna craned her neck forward and gave a long, lustful lick all the way up Anon's chest, to his neck, and then to his cheek. Anon paused his thrusting, only for Luna to lick him again.
"Uh... this is new." He said, looking down to Luna as she licked him again.
"Mhhhh so salty..." Luna moaned, before looking up to Anon, "Don't just stand there, keep bucking me!" She ordered.
Anon instantly resumed his thrusting, prompting another moan of satisfaction from the lunar alicorn. The air filled with the meaty slaps of Anon's thighs against Luna's as he fucked her with reckless abandon. For several more minutes, he pummeled her pussy with his cock, making the night princess sing her pleasure so loud that the windows shook.
At the breakneck pace he maintained, it didn't take long at all for Anon to reach his limit. Under him, Luna quickly reached her climax as well, and her legs quivered as her sex squeezed on Anon's length. A splash of marecum soaked Anon's thigh as Luna's eyes rolled back in her head, and she cried out in ecstasy.
The convulsions and squeezing of Luna's already tight pussy were the final straws for Anon, and with a grunt of effort, he planted himself into Luna's folds and fired load after load of cum deep inside of her. With his energy spent, Anon collapsed on top of her, his seed and Luna's marecum dripping from around his length still buried deep in her folds.
Both Anon and Luna panted for breath after the admittedly strenuous activity, before Anon pulled himself out of her marehood. A torrent of marecum and human spunk poured out onto the sheets and into Luna's tail, making Anon's eyes widen in surprise.
"Damn. I figured after the second time, I'd taper off a bit, but I guess not." He admitted with a shrug, before laying down beside Luna.
"I think that was the hardest I've orgasmed in my entire life." Luna murmured, while she absently rubbed circles on her belly with her hoof.
"You could say that again." Celestia groggily spoke up as she rolled over to her belly.
"Glad to see you're still with us, sister." Luna chuckled.
"Your moaning woke me up." Celestia snickered, before crawling over to Anon's other side.
Luna observed as Celestia approached, and scooted closer to Anon as the sun princess laid down beside him. Together, they snuggled up to Anon's sides, both content to rest their heads on his chest or against his neck. With a wide smile on his face, Anon gently scratched at both of their ears while Celestia magicked a clean blanket over them.
"Shouldn't we clean up first?" Anon asked.
"We'll do it in the morning. To be honest, I am exhausted at the moment, and just wish to sleep with my husband for the first time, already." Celestia replied, snuggling her muzzle into the crook of Anon's neck.
"Not to worry, Anon. I'll cast a spell that will put us all to sleep very quickly. You needn't worry about the sticky sensation." Luna giggled, nuzzling her cheek against Anon's chest, affectionately.
"That works for me. Thanks again for everything, girls. I love you." Anon replied, happily stroking his fingers through both of their fur.
"We love you too." Celestia and Luna replied, before the night princess cast a spell to turn the lights out.
Luna's horn lit up once more, and a wave of sleepiness quickly washed over all three of them.
"I wonder if you got us pregnant, Anon." Luna idly murmured, as she closed her eyes.
"Oh, I wouldn't get my hopes up too high about that." Anon sleepily chuckled.
"We are going into estrus right now... it could happen." Celestia offered, closing her eyes and sighing peacefully.
"I'll keep my fingers crossed, Tia." Anon replied, closing his eyes as well.
"We could always keep trying?" Luna offered.
"A little too tired for that, Lulu." Anon chuckled.
"Well, the dream realm is quite a magical place..." Luna shrugged.
"This is gonna be a long night." Anon laughed.
"Are you complaining?" Celestia teased.
"Hell no. I love you girls." Anon grinned.
Author's Note
We did it! We did the sex! And it only took... 34 chapters to get to this point! I hope you guys enjoyed. I had a lot of fun writing it and I got super invested in this one, hence why it's the longest chapter in the story by about a thousand words. It was a joy to write and hopefully a joy to read. I'll do a really short epilogue after this, but this is officially the last chapter of the story. Hey, it had to happen eventually, right?
I'll save my lengthy thank you for the final chapter, but for now, thank you for the literally thousands of you that read this far. I really appreciate the support. I know not all of the story is liked by all, but I do appreciate those of you that stuck around for the whole thing.
All's Fair in Love and War
Some Time Later
Anon sipped at his iced tea as he laid back on his folding chair on the sandy beach overlooking the setting sun. He wore nothing more than an unbuttoned tropical shirt, and a pair of swimming trunks while he watched the flaming ball of light touch the horizon. With a content sigh of happiness, he set his drink down in the cupholder of his chair and interlocked his fingers behind his head as he leaned back into his chair just a little bit more.
Beside him, Luna wore a similar outfit, minus the trunks, and a pair of sunglasses resting atop her head as she relaxed in the last vestiges of daytime. Her mane and tail were braided, both neatly hanging off of the chair as if they were made of normal, unmagical flowing hair.
Celestia sat on Anon's other side, although unlike him or Luna, she was sitting upright, her tongue stuck out in concentration as she finally placed the sun in the right spot for the night. She wore a similar shirt to her sister and Anon, although unlike either of them, her mane and tail were curled, instead of braided.
"There we go. That should set the tone just right." Celestia smiled, before laying down in her chair and levitating her iced tea up to her lips.
"I must say, the setting sun does compliment the beach quite well. An excellent choice, Nonny." Luna added.
"Eh, it was always my favorite time of day back home. Just when the sun is setting on the horizon, and the moon is rising behind... it always felt perfect." Anon commented, before taking another sip of his drink.
"This has been quite the honeymoon, hasn't it?" Celestia asked, looking over to her spouses with a soft smile.
"Better than I could have hoped, that's for sure. I'm surprised they didn't hassle us more when we went through Las Pegasus." Anon replied.
"Well we did give specific instructions to the public that we wanted to simply enjoy our time together in peace. Even though I'm sure a great many of them wanted to speak with us, they overwhelmingly wanted to be respectful of our wishes." Luna shrugged.
"I appreciate that. It's gonna be pretty stressful getting back into the swing of things when we get back to the castle and I have to start actually being a prince." Anon responded, leaning back into his chair and looking up at the stars as they slowly appeared in the sky.
"It won't be quite so dreadful. We've talked about this, honey. We'll ease you into it. Plus, Raven will be taking over as your full time secretary until you're comfortable with the job." Celestia offered, leaning over and affectionately nuzzling Anon's neck.
Anon gently scratched Celestia's chin before planting a kiss on her muzzle.
"I appreciate the support, Tia, but Javelin told me he's planning on proposing soon after we get back. I'm not sure how long their engagement is gonna last, but Raven's gonna be busy with all that planning and eventually I'm gonna be stuck without her." Anon chuckled.
"It is as I said. You will have both of us to ease you into your role. Nopony is going to expect you to make massive, future-altering decisions for Equestria right at the beginning." Celestia comforted.
"If it makes you feel any better at all, I'll be able to help you in your dreams. I know the prospect of learning legalese all twenty four hours of the day would grow tiresome rather quickly, but at the very least, you'll learn the material you don't already know very quickly." Luna spoke up, taking her turn to nuzzle Anon's cheek.
Anon reached up and scratched Luna's ear before kissing her muzzle as well.
"I appreciate it, Lulu. I'll take you up on that, I think. Anything to get everything down, right?" He replied.
Both Celestia and Luna offered nuzzles of approval.
"You'll do fine, sweetie. I promise." Celestia cooed.
"We're both certain you'll be one of the best princes Equestria's ever had." Luna added.
"Thanks, girls. You're the best." Anon smiled.
As the trio shared a moment of closeness, the sound of hooves stepping through sand reached their ears, and all three of them parted slightly to look behind them to their approaching guest.
"Perimeter is secured." Dusk saluted.
"Dusk, how many times have I told you that you don't have to salute us?" Luna asked, with a smidge of irritation.
"Apologies. It's just a force of habit that's stuck with me ever since hoof camp." Dusk replied, dropping his salute.
"I assume Echo is on patrol then?" Celestia asked.
"Yes, ma'am. He'll be running recon over the area for the next hour, then I'll take over. " Dusk replied.
"Yo Dusk, when you two are off shift, you wanna hit up the arcade? I need an extra pair of hooves to beat the high score in 'Changeling Invaders'." Anon asked.
"I'm... not so sure. Those new vidya games aren't really my thing." Dusk replied, giving an apologetic shrug.
"Well what about Echo?" Anon asked.
"Let me ask him." Dusk replied, before turning away from the group and letting out a long screech that none of them could hear.
Once he was finished, Dusk turned his head and wiggled his ear a few times. After a few moments of silence, Dusk turned back toward Anon and nodded.
"He said he'd be very interested in going." Dusk announced.
"Fuck yeah! Finally gonna beat that high score!" Anon cheered.
All ponies present shared a chuckle while Anon pumped his fist in the air.
"Well, I'll leave you three to enjoy your evening. Echo will meet up with you once his shift is over. Have a good one." Dusk explained, before giving a wave and turning tail to head to the hotel.
"I'm constantly blown away at how those two communicate like that." Anon mentioned, as he laid back down on his chair.
"They're some of the only thestrals that have the ability of echocommunication. It's why I picked them for advanced guard training." Luna nodded.
"I'm still amazed that they didn't die during the invasion. Those two took on like, a hundred changelings by themselves." Anon shook his head.
"Advanced guard training is quite rigorous. You could even say that they're elite compared to the rest of the guard." Luna replied.
"Well, regardless of how awesome that is, at least I've got something to entertain myself with later tonight. You two got any plans?" Anon inquired, looking back and forth to each mare.
"Well... there was something that we both wanted to share with you, if you're not in a rush." Celestia responded.
Anon shook his head, "Not for at least the next hour, I guess. Why, what's on your minds?" Anon asked, raising his brow in curiosity.
"Well, it's not something that you need to be very concerned over. It's good news. It's just something that we were fairly confident to be true, but until our appointment last night, we weren't sure." Luna added, sitting upright.
Celestia sat upright as well, prompting Anon to do the same as both sisters shared a look that he recognized quite well.
"Why are you guys giving each other the 'you tell me, no you tell him' look?" Anon asked, cautiously.
"It's not so much that look as a... 'we both want to tell you, but don't think we could keep from shouting our excitement over each other." Luna explained with a chuckle.
"It's just some rather... large news, and we're both still struggling to process it ourselves. We wanted to be sure before we told you... but... oh, Faust, Luna can I just tell him?!" Celestia exclaimed as she nearly bounced in place.
"Tell me what? What is it? You guys are making me anxious." Anon chuckled, although there was a hint of nerves in his laugh.
"Tia, you said I get to tell him!" Luna shot back.
"I know, but I'm just so excited! I've been wanting to tell him since we found out!" Celestia cried, motioning for Luna to go ahead.
Anon looked back and forth between his wives, a worried, yet excited look in his eyes.
"Will one of you just tell me already?" He pressed.
"It... it has to do with the appointment I mentioned earlier." Luna began.
"What kind of appointment is it?" Anon asked.
"It was... a physical. With our doctor. Our prenatal doctor." Luna clarified.
"Wait... prenatal? You mean..." Anon trailed off.
"W-well, it defies everything we know about science and physics, but... but we think you might have... actually got us pregnant." Luna admitted.
Anon's jaw dropped while Celestia squealed with joy.
"We're finally gonna be mothers!" She cried, jumping out of her chair and spreading her wings wide, before slowly sinking back down to the sand, "Oh I'm so excited! I've always wanted foals!"
"Wait... you mean... for real? Like, you two aren't just bullshitting me right now?" Anon questioned.
"We wouldn't dream of it, Anon. We had our doctor conduct a magical ultrasound and... well we're both pregnant." Luna explained, offering a smile.
Anon couldn't stop the grin that formed on his face even if he tried, "You're being for real? I'm gonna be a dad!?" He exclaimed, pushing himself out of his chair as well.
"You are! Two foals on the way in nine more months!" Celestia cheered, wrapping her forelegs around Anon's waist and kissing his cheek.
Anon let out a breathless laugh of disbelief, "Oh my God... oh my God, I'm really gonna be a dad... I'm gonna be a dad!" Anon cheered, pulling Celestia into a tight hug.
Luna quickly hopped out of her chair and joined the hug, much to Anon and Celestia's enjoyment. Together, they embraced in the last embers of sunlight, their eyes closed shut, lest the tears of joy spill out to the sandy beach below. A muffled sniffle could be heard between the three of them, but it was instantly drowned out by the ocean waves as they crashed along the shoreline.
"I can't wait... I'm so excited."
"I've never had a foal before... thank you for making this dream a reality."
"I love you both so much. God, I love you so much."
Author's Note
Hello and Merry Christmas eve everyone. Had to throw the possibility of a sequel in there, just in case ya'll want that in the future ;)
It's been quite a journey, hasn't it? Much like the story, I feel like we've had our rough patches along the way. A LOT of you absolutely HATED Celestia and Luna for the first twenty five chapters, and I was really starting to get worried that their redemption arc wasn't going to be strong enough to fix those feelings of hatred. Still not sure if I did that well enough, but I did my best.
I can't thank the roughly 3 THOUSAND of you that read every upload day. You guys have definitely made my proud and happy to have written this story, and I have enjoyed reading most of your comments. More than that, I really appreciate you reading my work all the way to the end. The support really does mean the world to me, and it makes me want to write more. Hell, this story broke 1000 thumbs up, and that's something I can't say about ANY of my other stories right now. So again, thank you all for that. It really does make me proud to have that many people take the time to thumb up the story.
Last thing, I have more story ideas in mind, but I don't have any ideas currently for the sequel to this story, if I end up making it. So I have another question for you all that read this. If you want a sequel, what kind of sequel would you like it to be? I know a lot of people were kinda turned off by the sex scenes, so if you want a mature story, say so. If you want a teen story, say so. Also, what kinds of things do you think the royal trio should have to deal with in the next story? More cannon bad guys? Day to day life in the castle? Twilight being... well, Twilight? Let me know below.
Okay, LAST last thing. I have to give a massive shoutout and thank you to my good friend Eclipses. Javelin is his OC, and he let me use him in this story, which I think a lot of you would agree, worked out fantastically. He was a REALLY well liked character, so I'm glad you guys felt that way about him.
Also, my best friend AJ, who usually does all the editing for my stories, I have to thank him. He's fixed most of my grammar mistakes and such over the years, and coached me to be a better writer, so without him, none of ya'll would have this story.
Once more, thank you all for the support. I have a commission story coming out next that I know won't be everyone's cup of tea, but I hope that those of you who are interested, will come check it out once I finish it. Have a good one guys.
All's Fair in Love and War
Chapter 4: Proper Introductions
Later that Evening
Luna awoke from her slumber with a start at the sound of a hoof banging against her door. She jolted upright and spun toward the door, tangling herself in her bedsheets immediately. She quickly lost her balance and fell right out of her bed, falling onto the floor with a *thud*. She let out a long, annoyed groan as she ignited her horn and teleported a few feet to the side, standing on her hooves.
The moon princess looked down at her sheets with a glare before making her way over to the door that was still being pounded on. She grabbed the handle with her hoof and yanked the door open with all her alicorn strength, fully intending to reprimand whoever was outside making so much noise and showing such a lack of respect. However, before she could even utter a word, a white blur bolted into her room, knocking her down to the floor once more.
Celestia immediately magic'd the door shut and grabbed Luna with her hooves.
"Luna! I'm so sorry! I know you were still trying to sleep for another hour, but I just couldn't keep waiting. I have something urgent I must tell you!" Celestia exclaimed, her muzzle just an inch from Luna's.
Luna's brow furrowed, "Sister what, pray tell, could be so important that you'd barge into my chambers like this? We're not under attack, are we?" She asked.
"No, nothing like that. It's something far more... difficult." Celestia replied.
"Then what is it?" Luna asked with a flippant sigh.
Celestia released her grip on her sister's face and quickly took to pacing in front of her, "I'll tell you, but Luna, please understand that when I wrote it, I was so depressed and alone after what happened that I made a mistake. I didn't want to find somepony, but every single advisor for two centuries straight kept telling me to move on and that it would make the stallions upset if I didn't agree, and I was so lost and desperate for our ponies to be happy, b-but I could never be with one of them because of our promise... and I just... I didn't mean to forget about it, and-" She began.
"Tia!" Luna shouted, freezing the larger alicorn mid-step.
Luna rubbed the bridge of her muzzle with her hoof and fixed Celestia with a steady frown.
"What did you do, exactly?" She asked.
"Well... Like I was saying, it happened a long time ago, and I just really didn't think anypony would still know of it after so long-" Celestia continued, only to be cut off again.
"Oh for the love of-," Luna facehoofed, "Will you just spit it out already!"
Celestia flinched at her sister's harsh tone. She sighed quietly before taking a deep breath and starting again.
"Alright. I'm sorry, I'm just... it's just a lot to take in and I want to make sure you understand that I didn't ever intend for this to happen." She dejectedly replied, her gaze falling to the floor.
Luna's harsh gaze softened almost immediately. She quietly walked up to her sister and nuzzled her cheek. The contact was soft and tender, forcing a gentle sigh from the solar princess as she inhaled the scent of lavender from her sister. After a few moments, they pulled apart enough to look at each other once more. Luna leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss on Celestia's muzzle, earning a tiny gasp before she pulled away once more.
"I'm sorry that I was being so harsh. I'm just not a morning pony, you know. Please, tell me what exactly is the problem." Luna said.
Celestia nodded, "Okay. Did you by any chance read over the 'Paired Sister Act of two hundred and sixty two'?" Celestia asked.
Luna's brow furrowed in concentration, "I... don't think so. I don't recall reading any law with that title yet. Although, I have been focusing more on the modern laws, not edicts written well over seven hundred years ago." She said.
Celestia nodded slowly, "Lulu, what I'm about to tell you will almost certainly infuriate you. However, please understand that I did what I did because I love you so much... I wanted you back and I did what I thought I had to do to keep our ponies happy." She explained.
Luna tilted her head to the side, "Just what did you do?"
"I wrote a law that specified a date after you were destined to return. On that date, I agreed to choose one stallion for us to be married to-" Celestia began.
"WHAT!?" Luna shouted, cutting her off again and making the walls shake.
Celestia winced and her ears splayed back against her skull for a moment before she was able to speak again, albeit with a slight ringing on her ears.
"Lulu, please understand that the reason I even agreed to that, was because the ponies back then would not stop asking for my hoof in marriage. I had over two thousand marriage proposals in one year at one point! I thought that if I wrote a law into place, agreeing to what they wanted, but so far in the future that literally every single one of them would have passed by the time it came around, that nopony would remember or even try anymore. I didn't think they'd keep tabs on that law for over seven hundred years!" Celestia responded, frantically.
"Oh you have to be kidding me! You honestly thought that mortal ponies wouldn't keep records of laws that they wish to exploit?! Why couldn't you just say 'no, I'm not interested in anypony' and just leave it at that!?" Luna shouted, her face contorted into a snarl.
"Because I love them too much to say that! I don't even believe that myself! There have been literally thousands of stallions I would have thrown myself at if not for our promise. A promise that I've kept and cared for every single day for over a millennia!" Celestia shouted back, a steady frown on her face.
"I know that!" Luna snarled, "You've seen quite fit to remind me every time it comes up! Either way, that doesn't change the fact that you could have just told them no!"
"I couldn't! If I did , I would lose my position as princess of the sun!" Celestia screamed.
Luna stepped back, an aghast look on her face, "W-what?! What are you talking about?"
Celestia took a moment to catch her breath and sigh, her entire form wilting as she exhaled, "I... I made a mistake."
Luna walked over to her sister and eyed her cautiously, "What happened?"
Celestia swallowed her nerves back as she looked back up to the lunar alicorn.
"I... I signed the Act with blood. Apparently the runes in the Act have binded me by my position as a princess of Equestria. I'll lose my power as an alicorn, and simply... fade away." She admitted, her eyes misting slightly.
Luna's jaw dropped, "What? Tia, why would you do such a thing!?"
"I don't know! I was so distraught after I lost you that I just... I don't know... I didn't want to be here if something went wrong and you didn't..." Celestia trailed off, tears spilling from her tightly closed eyes.
Luna frowned as she looked away from her sister for a moment. She bit her lip in frustration before sighing and pulling the larger alicorn into a hug. Celestia immediately wrapped her hooves around Luna and squeezed her tightly against her chest. The pair held each other as the Celestia sobbed into Luna's wither.
The younger alicorn gently stroked her hoof through her sister's mane while she whispered gently into her ear, "It's alright, sister. I understand... I'm sorry I got so upset, I just didn't know."
Celestia nodded in her sister's embrace before pulling away and sniffling a few times, "T-thank you, Lulu. I'm sorry about that. I don't mean to cry... it's just that when I think about those days, all I can remember is the pain." She explained.
"Fear not, sister. I am always here for you," Luna replied, planting a gentle kiss on Celestia's cheek, "Just know that what happened back then will never happen again, I promise."
Celestia nodded and returned a soft kiss on Luna's muzzle before the sisters pulled apart completely. Luna eyed Celestia curiously for a second before igniting her horn and magicking away any tear streaks from her cheeks.
"Thank you, Lulu." Celestia smiled.
"Of course, Tia," Luna returned the smile before her expression turned serious once more, "So tell me, what stallion has wormed their way into day court and demanded to be wed to you?"
"...Us." Celestia whispered.
"Pardon?" Luna raised an eyebrow.
"Lulu... the act binds me by title, but it's the Paired Sister Act. It also binds you by blood." Celestia elaborated, a large pit forming in her stomach.
Luna shook her head, "I must be mishearing you, sister. Are you actually saying that I have to marry this stallion as well?" She pressed, her eyes squinting in disbelief.
Celestia gulped, "I... I'm afraid so. I reread the Act over a dozen times since this morning and... it does refer to you several times by name."
Luna fell to her haunches, "T-Tia... you can't be serious!" She exclaimed.
Celestia's ears pinned back against her skull at Luna's volume. She closed her eyes and shook her head, sadly.
"I'm so sorry, Lulu... I am." She admitted.
Luna's breathing quickly accelerated and she forced herself back to her hooves.
"B-but, Tia! I don't even like stallions in that way!" She cried, a frantic look on her face.
"I know! I know. I don't want this to happen any more than you do. Trust me, I've been doing my best-" Celestia began.
"Don't give me that! It's easy for you to say that! You've always been fond of mares and stallions! The last time I even attempted to woo one, he screamed and ran in terror!" Luna shouted, thrusting an accusing hoof toward her sister.
"I know! I remember that, but Lulu, that was over a thousand years ago! Times have changed, and Anonymous is actually-"
"Who the buck is Anonymous!?" Luna screamed, her voice cracking slightly.
Celestia winced, "He's the stallion that I chose out of all the stallions there." She explained.
"You've already decided!?" Luna's eyes widened.
"I had to! Luna, I had to decide quickly! There were over two hundred stallions in day court today!" Celestia exclaimed.
Luna facehoofed and sighed, loudly, "Why, pray tell, did you pick this Anonymous character, then?"
"There are a few reasons. Namely, he's a human. He's not from Equestria. When Nightmare Moon returned, she ripped open a vortex in the fabric of reality, and by some unfortunate circumstance, he was sucked into our world from his. I've already put Twilight on the task of sending him home, along with some of the best and brightest from the School for Gifted Unicorns, but they've all told me the same answer. There simply isn't a way to send him home that wouldn't kill him. He's different from a pony." Celestia explained in one long breath.
"Different how?" Luna asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Well, he's a nonmagical creature, for starters. He's a biped and has almost no fur on his body... and his face is a lot flatter than anypony you've ever seen before-"
"He sounds repulsive." Luna interrupted.
Celestia frowned, "Lulu... That was just hurtful. While he may not be the most gorgeous creature I've ever seen, I've definitely seen uglier. In fact, he has something of a charm about him if I'm being honest. He doesn't seem intimidated by me or by what's been thrust onto him. He just seems confused. In fact... if I'm being honest, I think he's probably handling this news better than either of us."
Luna rolled her eyes, "I will have to judge his appearance for myself. Regardless of that... are you absolutely certain that there isn't some way around this? Tia... We promised." She said, her tone shifting.
Celestia sighed, "I know, Lulu. I know. I'm sorry. I told him that he would have dinner with us and we would all discuss everything then. That's the good news I wanted to tell you."
"What?" Luna asked.
"Anon seems very reasonable. My thoughts are that he'll understand our situation and will agree to let the marriage just be for show. We might have to go out with him in public from time to time, maybe a few dates here and there to really sell it, but aside from a chaste kiss here and there, we wouldn't have to go any further with him. It would be just like it is now, but on rare occasion we would have to pretend to love him." Celestia elaborated.
Luna pursed her lips as she thought over the proposal. She kept silent as Celestia watched her with expectant eyes.
"Are... are you certain that he will agree to that? Every stallion I've ever met would boast to all of Canterlot that he was bedding you... and they certainly wouldn't keep our relationship a secret either, lest we force them to." Luna replied.
"Luna, we can't force ponies to do anything anymore. Those days are long gone. These days... we have much less power when it comes to our ponies." Celestia sighed.
"Before I was banished to the moon, we'd simply behead any fool that would dare try to taint our good names." Luna muttered.
"As I said, Lulu. We can't do that anymore. In fact... that's probably why stallions were so afraid of you back then." Celestia suggested.
Luna rolled her eyes, "Regardless, you still haven't answered my question."
Celestia sighed, "I... am not certain. As I said before, he seems to be quite reasonable. I can only hope that my hunch is correct. If not, then I'm not sure what we're going to do. The only thing we can use as leverage is that he's an alien creature in our world, and without our assistance, he'll be lost. Having said that, I wouldn't dare go that far unless completely necessary." She explained.
Luna took a moment to think before grunting in affirmation and looking over at the clock on the wall.
"Well, it is almost dinner right now. I should prepare for my night, and you should prepare for dinner. We'll discuss the rest of this once this Anonymous shows up." Luna relented.
"Very well. Thank you, sister. I know this isn't what you wanted to hear today... I didn't want to hear it either, but I promise I will make it up to you." Celestia smiled.
The lunar alicorn nodded and leaned in for a kiss. Celestia happily obliged before pulling away and making her way out of the room.
"I will see you soon, sister." She said as she closed the door behind her.
Dinner
Anon walked into the massive dining room of the castle with Javelin at his side. Together, they observed the almost excessively long Oakwood table spanning nearly the length of the entire room. Long tapestries hung between each tall stained glass window lining the walls of the room, providing a warm atmosphere as the sun slowly set in the horizon. A pair of guards stood at every doorway, giving a slightly imposing aura to the room as Anon adjusted his collar and glanced back and forth.
"So, uh... where are Princess Celestia and Luna?" Anon asked, looking down to Javelin.
"Princess Celestia is finishing up with her duties at the moment. As soon as she's done, she should be here along with Princess Luna. Just wait for the sun to dip below the horizon and they'll both be here." Javelin replied, looking back up to Anon.
Anon looked back out the window just in time to see the last of the sun sinking under the horizon. Gentle purple twilight lit the sky as night slowly took over the outside world, followed by two massive doors opening. Anon glanced to either side of the room to see Celestia and Luna entering from opposing doors as they made their way to the dining table. While Celestia gave him a polite nod, Luna didn't seem to even acknowledge his presence as she walked over to her seat on the far side of the table.
Despite the situation raking at his nerves, there was a brief moment in which Anon was completely captivated by Luna's mysterious navy blue coat, her majestic and sparkling mane that seemed to hold an entire constellation by itself, and her piercing teal eyes that seemed to see right through him. If he weren't so nervous, he would honestly be speechless.
Anon looked back to Javelin, finding him pointing toward the table, "Go ahead sir, You can sit down in any of the open seats."
Anon nodded before walking over to the center of the table and standing beside the centermost chair. He glanced over to both princesses to find them magically pulling their chairs out and sitting down without making a sound. With a small shrug, he pulled his chair out, only for the wood to squeak loudly against the tile floors. The sudden, high pitched noise echoed deafeningly in the nearly silent hall, making Anon wince and directing all eyes to him.
With a small gulp, Anon pulled the chair out further, this time producing a longer, and much louder squeaking sound. He looked over to Celestia and Luna, finding that both princesses were giving him incredibly perplexed looks. He hastily sat down in the chair and scooted it forward, making even more noise that raked at everypony's ears in the room. Finally, he found himself in a comfortable position in the chair.
The deathly silence in the room made Anon gulp nervously, his eyes darting back and forth to the princesses looking at him with confusion or distaste on their faces. After a few minutes, the silence became unbearable.
"So..." Anon began, drumming his fingers on the table.
Celestia cleared her throat, "Anonymous, I don't believe you've been properly introduced. This is my sister, Princess Luna. Luna, this is Anonymous." She announced, a weak smile on her face.
"It's uh... it's good to meet you, Princess." Anon responded, looking at Luna.
"Charmed." Luna replied, dryly.
Anon bit his tongue and looked back over to Javelin with a pleading look. The stallion only shrugged and offered a sympathetic half smile in return. Anon silently sighed before turning back to look at the royal sisters still staring at him. He awkwardly cleared his throat and opened his mouth to speak just as the waiter stepped in through the doorway.
"Oh thank God." He whispered as the waiter walked over to Celestia.
"Princess, good evening. What would you like for dinner tonight?" The waiter asked.
"I'll just have the daffodil and rosemary salad, please." Celestia replied with a small smile.
"Of course, your highness." The waiter replied, bowing slightly. He quickly made his way over to Luna, "And for you, your highness?"
"Fruit salad with extra kale." Luna curtly responded.
"It'll be out shortly, Princess." He said, bowing once more.
The waiter swiftly made his way over to Anon and looked at him curiously, "And for you, sir?" He inquired.
"Uh... I'm not... entirely sure. You, uh... you guys got soup?" Anon asked, rubbing the back of his neck.
"We can make any dish, sir. There are chefs from all across the country as well as a few neighboring countries that work in the kitchen." The waiter explained.
Anon's eyes darted back and forth between the two princesses as they continued to stare at him. He felt a bead of sweat drip down his neck as he nervously fidgeted with his hands under the table.
"Uh... I think I'll just stick with soup tonight... uh-" Anon's voice cracked, "-you guys do tomato soup?" He lamely asked.
The waiter nodded and bowed before replying, "Of course, sir. It'll be right out."
With that, the stallion left the table and headed back to the kitchen, leaving Anon alone with Celestia and Luna once more. The man in question eyed the lunar diarch with caution, his entire body subconsciously leaning toward the more friendly solar alicorn in the process. This only seemed to make Luna glare even harder.
Finally, Celestia broke the uncomfortable silence, "Guards? Would you please excuse us for a few minutes. My sister and I need to speak with Anonymous in private." She announced.
"Yes, your highness!" The three guards responded while they immediately saluted and turned to leave.
Anon desperately turned to Javelin as he trotted out the door. He weakly reached for the stallion as the doors closed behind him, sealing him inside with the two alicorns.
"Don't leave me... I'm scared." Anon weakly muttered as his hand fell to his side.
If Celestia and Luna heard him, they made no indication that they had. The larger alicorn cleared her throat, quickly gaining Anon's attention.
"Alright, Anonymous. As I promised, you'll have your answers. My sister and I will explain everything we know and then we'll offer you the position, provided you haven't already decided you don't want any part of this. Please hold any of your questions until I'm finished." Celestia explained, her calm, soothing voice easing Anon's nerves slightly.
Anon nervously glanced over to Luna one more time, finding her gaze was still much the same as earlier, before giving a nod of acknowledgment to Celestia.
"Thank you. Now, as I'm sure you're wondering, no, the Act that Comet Star referred to earlier this morning does not in any way bind you. Should you refuse our offer, you'll be free to go without any kind of negative retribution. As for the Act itself, what happened was simple. A long time ago, I promised my ponies that I would choose a stallion to be the royal consort after my sister returned from her banishment to the moon." Celestia started, cautiously aware of how Luna frowned upon the mentioning of her banishment.
"The deadline for me to choose a partner has come this morning. Obviously, I chose you-" Celestia elaborated, before Anon raised his hand, "-Um... yes, Anon."
Anon lowered his hand and awkwardly coughed into his fist, "Right, uh... I need something clarified if you wouldn't mind. You keep mentioning the position as the royal consort... not your royal consort. I'm uh... a little confused as to what that's implying."
Celestia sagely nodded, "As the royal consort, you will be wed to me and my sister. While we've had separate lovers before, almost all of our lovers were the same pony. It's not uncommon for a stallion to have two or more mares as lovers." She explained.
Anon wilted as his gaze drifted over to the intimidating lunar alicorn on the opposite end of the table, "Oh... great. More madness." His voice came out like a small squeak.
"Now, the reason for me choosing you is... complicated. For you to understand that, I need you to understand my relationship with my sister." Celestia continued.
Anon looked over at Luna with a curious eyebrow raised.
"Our relationship is... not exactly what you would consider common. As you know, we're both well over one thousand years old. As far as we know, aside from ancient beings imprisoned in stone, we are the oldest living creatures in Equestria. Over the millennia... we've seen everypony around us die from any number of causes. Be it war, famine, disease, or simply old age, we've lost everypony we've ever known or cared about... except each other." Celestia gave Luna a small smile, which the smaller alicorn hesitantly returned.
Anon looked back and forth between the two alicorns curiously before Celestia continued.
"A long time ago, we both had lovers. Stallions and mares alike that we both truly loved... until they were gone. I know this might be hard for you to understand, Anonymous... but there's only so many loved ones a pony can lose before they can't take the pain anymore. That... that was what happened to my sister and I." Celestia continued, a sad smile on her face.
Anon frowned at the look on the alicorn's face, "I-I don't think I follow." He admitted.
Celestia sighed, "My sister and I made a promise, over a thousand years ago, after losing the ponies we loved on the same day... to never love a mortal pony again." She mournfully recounted.
Anon's eyes widened as he looked back and forth between the royal sisters. Even Luna's frown had softened into something more sorrowful than displeased from the story.
"You... you both lost the ponies you loved on the same day?" Anon asked, incredulously.
For the first time in a while, Luna replied, "They were both in the Royal Guard... We were facing an invasion from the Griffons and... they both died in the battle." She explained.
Anon looked back over to Celestia just as she started to continue once more.
"Yes, that was one of the saddest days of our lives... so it was after that day that we promised each other that we would never again fall for mortal ponies. We would only fall for each other." Celestia finished.
Anon nodded at her words for just a second, before pausing and holding up a finger, "Now, when you say 'fall for each other' do... do you mean like..." he trailed off.
"Romantically." Celestia responded.
Anon owlishly blinked, "...Wut?"
Author's Note
Just to clear this up before anyone gets confused, Luna is bisexual in this story. She's just kinda given up on dating stallions since they're always so scared of her. I'm not doing the "gay person suddenly turns straight when the find the right partner" kind of thing.
All's Fair in Love and War
Chapter 18: A History Lesson
The Next Day
"-And so that's how the war with the griffon kingdom ended. Any questions?" Raven asked, lowering her pointer stick from the chalkboard.
Anon yawned, "Yeah, why did the griffons all give up after you killed their king?" He asked, sounding confused.
Raven raised an eyebrow, "We've been over this, sir. They surrendered because their leader was dead. Without their fearless king, the griffons were easy to route. It made for a swift, and decisive victory that saved countless lives on both sides." She explained, pointing to the chalkboard once more, and the copious notes already there.
Anon shrugged, "Yeah, but what if they didn't want to surrender? I mean, if someone came into my county and killed my president, that wouldn't mean the end of the war, if anything, it'd probably piss most of us off even more." He offered.
"Well, sir, the griffons needed a central leader to coordinate their forces. At the time, their king led all battles from the front. He oversaw everything personally, which meant that once he was gone, the griffons had no real leadership." Raven elaborated.
"They really didn't have a chain of command? Sounds like they were pretty stupid back then." Anon shrugged once more.
Raven frowned, "Yes, well, they've learned from their past mistakes... as have we."
Anon's brow furrowed, "Wait a minute... you aren't telling me that you guys didn't have a chain of command back then either, are you?" He questioned.
"Well..." Raven began, before the sound of hoofsteps entering the room caught both of their attention.
"My sister and I were the co-rulers of Equestria at the time of the war. Even if one of us perished in the fighting, the other would still be able to command our army. That alone gave us a tactical advantage over the griffons that led us to victory." Luna spoke up, cutting Raven off.
"Princess." Raven bowed, politely.
Anon looked over his shoulder and nodded to the lunar alicorn as she approached him, "What's up, Luna? I thought you'd still be asleep."
"I awoke earlier than usual to prepare for our date, Anon. You didn't forget, did you?" Luna inquired, frowning slightly.
Anon looked over to the clock, "Of course not. It's just that it's only five thirty and we're not supposed to go out until seven. Plus Raven won't let me leave." He replied.
Luna looked at the clock as well, "Is it no longer appropriate for a mare to steal a stallion away from his duties to show him a fine evening together?" She innocently questioned, raising an eyebrow.
Raven sighed, "If you'd like to take Anon out for your date now, Princess, then by all means, he's yours. I'll just have to teach him the rest of Equestrian military history tomorrow."
Luna clopped her hooves together in excitement, "Huzzah! You have my thanks, Miss Inkwell."
Anon raised an eyebrow at Luna's attitude, "Well someone sounds excited. Does that mean that you have something special in mind? Something that's gonna have a million eyes on us?" He chuckled.
Luna smiled, "Actually, I have something else in mind for us, Anon. Come with me, would you?" She asked, turning for the door.
As Anon stood up to leave, he noticed Raven giving him an expectant look.
"What?" He asked.
"Make sure you're on time tomorrow, sir. We've got a lot of material to cover. It'd be a lot easier to get this done if you were here for the whole day instead of being ten minutes late." Raven testily instructed.
Anon rolled his eyes at the unicorn mare, "Yeah, yeah, I know. Today wasn't my fault though. We all got back at, like, midnight. I like my sleep and you want me here at what feels like five in the morning."
Raven sighed, "Nine o' clock is hardly five in the morning, sir. Just... please be on time tomorrow." She asked, an exhausted tone in her voice.
"Alright, alright. I'll be sure to be on time. Thanks, Raven." Anon relented, offering a small smile to show there were no hard feelings.
Raven nodded before setting about packing and cleaning off all of her teaching materials while Anon headed out the door with Luna in front. The pair walked through the halls of the castle at a leisurely pace, passing multiple guards and maids along the way. Several salutes or bows were thrown Luna and Anon's way, making the lunar alicorn raise an eyebrow at the human walking beside her.
"Anon, I have a question for you." She said.
"What's that?" Anon replied.
"I've just now noticed, ever since I met you, you have never bowed to anypony. Not me, not even my sister. Why is that?" Luna inquired.
"This isn't a 'bow from now on or else' kinda chat, is it?" Anon questioned, leaning away from Luna.
The dark alicorn shook her head, "Nothing of the sort. I'm just curious. I recall Celestia saying that even before you became our consort, you never bowed to anypony."
Anon relaxed and continued to walk alongside Luna, "Well that's an easy one. I'm an American." He explained.
"An... American? What is that?" Luna pressed, eyeing him curiously.
"Well, I was born in this country named America... Well, the United States of America, but America is faster to say." Anon shrugged.
"I see... so what does your birthplace have to do with your refusal to bow to any creature in our land?" Luna tilted her head to the side.
"Well, that's an easy one. My country had to fight for its freedom from another country, named England. Long story short, there were thirteen colonies, which became states when they united, and they fought off England's greedy ass for taxing them too much." Anon explained.
"That just sounds like a rebellion." Luna shrugged her wings.
"Well it would've just been a rebellion, if the English had won. Now, America is one of, if not the most powerful country on my planet." Anon responded.
Luna pursed her lips, "I... see. So because you share this noble blood with these colonists, you believe yourself above bowing to others." She surmised.
Anon frowned, "Well, when you say it like that, it sounds a lot less cool... But, uh... even then, that's not it. My great grandmother immigrated to America in the nineteen twenties. Nobody in my family was there for the original thirteen colonies." He explained.
Luna paused in her step and looked at Anon like he was speaking another language.
"Wait a minute. So you don't have any noble blood, and your ancestors immigrated into your home country long after its conception, yet you still claim to be 'American'?" Luna questioned.
"Well if you're born in America, you're an American. That's the rule. It's kind of become a melting pot of different races, groups, and whatnot from all over the world. Hell, that's what the rest of the world used to call us; the 'melting pot' of the world." Anon elaborated.
"How does simply being born in your country make you an 'American'? Is that a specific social class like being noble-born? Here in Equestria, only ponies directly related to historical figures of great importance are considered nobles. The rest are just citizens. Is that how it works in your country? Or are you all just citizens with no higher class with a pedigree of good deeds and historical importance?" Luna questioned, her muzzle scrunched in confusion.
Anon shrugged, "Well, you definitely get a lot of recognition if you're related to one of our country's founders, but you are considered an American citizen as soon as you're born. There isn't really a class system like that in place... other than rich and poor, I guess. Still though, everybody gets to vote, it's not like you're lesser than someone if you're poor... at least, in theory."
"Every citizen gets a vote? What kind of government does your country have? It sounds like chaos if every human can vote on every single issue that is brought up. What if the votes are split? What if the majority votes to do something horrible to the minority?" Luna pressed.
"It's not that simple," Anon shook his head, "A lot of people think we have a democracy, which is wrong. We're a constitutional republic. The people vote for specific individuals to represent them and their values, and then those elected representatives go and vote on the issues that need to be resolved. There's a lot of checks and balances." He clarified.
Luna scrunched her muzzle, "But what if these representatives choose to vote against the will of the people who elected them? Surely there must be safety measures in place. It almost sounds like your entire country is being held together by a thread."
"Trust me, we've had a lot of issues over the years with politicians not keeping their word. Like I said, we've got a lot of checks and balances for stuff like that. I just wish we'd use them more." Anon sighed.
Luna hummed as she pondered over Anon's explanation.
"I think I understand your government better... however, I still don't understand why you have such an aversion to bowing. It's just a simple gesture of respect. It isn't intended to be demeaning in any way." The dark alicorn offered.
Anon chuckled, "Oh yeah, forgot to tell you that part. Basically, England was a monarchy, and the king was being unfair to the colonists. He wasn't just taxing them more, he wasn't even giving them a chance to have a say in their laws. You know, taxation without representation and all that. Bowing might be just a simple sign of respect here in Equestria, but back there, it was a sign of submission. The king was basically a god and all the rest of us mere mortals were his subjects." He stated, rolling his eyes.
"Did your kings not have any god-like abilities to prove this power? Or at least great feats to show that they were superior to those around them?" Luna tilted her head to the side.
"Nope. Just happened to be born to the right bloodline," Anon shook his head once more, "Nah, but that's kinda where it came from. Americans like me refuse to bow because we all united under one banner way back in the day under the collective cause of telling England to get fucked." He chuckled.
Luna giggled, "I see. So bowing, to you, means submission and lessens you as a being." She surmised.
"Yeah, that's a good way of putting it. It's also important to remember that not all humans are like me. There are a ton of other places where bowing is considered respectful like here... Japan, just to name one off of the top of my head." Anon nodded.
"Very interesting, indeed, Anon. I must say, I am quite intrigued by your world and history. You seem to know so much of it as well." Luna replied, smiling gently.
Anon returned the smile, "Well I've always been something of a history nerd, especially my own country's history. There's a lot of firsts that my country had a hand in, and its really cool to look back at everything we achieved in a pretty short amount of time." He explained.
Luna turned to keep walking, prompting Anon to walk alongside her once more.
"Well, perhaps you'd like to share some more of your history with me tonight? I could tell you some of mine if you'd like to hear it." Luna offered, an uncharacteristically shy tone in her voice.
Anon nodded, "That'd be cool. I've been learning a lot from Raven, but she's just so... what's the best way of putting this? Lifeless? Monotonous? Dull? Some combination of all of those?" He rattled off, scratching his chin in thought.
Luna snickered, "Anon, please be considerate. Miss Inkwell does a fine job of managing my sister. She's doing her best." She said, barely holding back a chuckle.
Anon laughed, "I know, I know. It's just hard to stay awake in her little classes sometimes. Like, she'll be explaining how Equestria was founded one minute, and I'll close my eyes for one second, and then she'll be rambling on about Hippogriff trade taxes almost starting a conflict a thousand years later." He shrugged.
"Anon, I have a feeling you're closing your eyes for far more than just one second." Luna raised an eyebrow.
Anon shrugged, "Alright, fine. Two seconds."
Luna laughed, prompting Anon to laugh along with her as they arrived at the throne room. They were immediately let inside by the guards standing post outside of the massive doorway. Once there, they saw Celestia sitting on her throne, a slight frown on her face as she read through several different papers all being held in her magical aura. The solar diarch didn't notice them for a few seconds as they approached, but once they were in her peripheral vision, she looked up from her papers.
"Ah, Anon, Luna. How are you both?" Celestia happily asked.
"Doing well, sister." Luna replied, stepping up the throne and nuzzling her older sister.
Celestia warmly returned the nuzzle, "I'm glad to hear that." She replied, before turning her attention over to Anon.
"Eh, same shit, different day." Anon shrugged.
Celestia and Luna shared a look, "One of these days you'll have to explain all of your strange sayings to us. I think I have a feeling what that one means, but I am unsure." Celestia responded.
Anon chuckled, "Heh, maybe one day. But not this day." He grinned.
Celestia rolled her eyes before setting all of her papers down with her magic, "So I take it you both came to say your farewells before your date?" She hinted, smiling at Luna.
"Indeed, sister. I've swooped in and liberated Anon from his duties for the day so that we might spend a relaxing evening together, away from the stresses of work." Luna beamed.
Anon chuckled, "Yeah, and I don't think Raven was too happy about it."
Celestia sighed, "Raven... sometimes takes her job just a hair too seriously. Not that I don't appreciate everything that she does, but that mare could really use some time off. She's going to work herself to death one of these days." She shook her head.
"I honestly think she'd be more stressed out on a vacation, worrying about everything back here, than she is just on her day to day." Anon agreed.
Several nods of agreement passed through the group, before Luna looked over to the clock on the far side of the room.
"Well, I do suppose we should be off, Anon." She said.
"Right now? It's still a bit early, isn't it? I mean... I've got nothing else to do now, but I need to get dressed and all that." Anon replied, looking down at his attire.
"You're dressed perfectly fine, Anon. We won't be going anywhere too grandeur. I actually envisioned something quite simple." Luna countered.
"I see you've maintained the look from last night. It looks quite good on you, Anon. I also imagine it's much cooler than your usual dressage." Celestia added.
"Eh, I figured that until I have to dress super fancy every day, I might as well dress more comfortably," He shrugged, before looking over to Luna, "Alright then, so what did you have in mind?"
Luna blushed slightly, "Well, I was thinking of... a picnic... in the Grand Park?" She sheepishly responded.
Anon tilted his head to the side at Luna's sudden shyness, "A picnic at Grand Park? I mean, sure. That actually reminds me, I have a date with Sunshine on Sunday! Oh shit, I almost forgot!" He exclaimed, facepalming.
Celestia blanched while Luna frowned.
"You have Sunday off, Anon. You can go meet Sunshine on Sunday." Luna rolled her eyes.
"I know, I know. I just almost forgot about it, is all. Can't believe that. I've been thinking about and going on these fake dates with you two lately, and it totally slipped my mind." Anon shook his head in disbelief.
Both Celestia and Luna visibly winced at Anon's words, and their expressions morphed to a mix of hurt and upset for just a fraction of a second, before they regained their composure and nodded, almost simultaneously. Anon raised an eyebrow at their curious behavior, but before he could say anything, the grandfather clock rang out, signifying the hour had passed.
"It's six o' clock. You two should get going." Celestia announced, looking at the time on the clock.
Luna and Anon both nodded.
"Very well. Come along, Anon." Luna replied, heading toward the doorway.
Anon glanced back and forth between Celestia and Luna once more as the dark alicorn walked away, before shaking his head and following behind her.
Anon followed behind Luna as she led him into Grand Park. The smallish population of ponies that were there already immediately dropped what they were doing and bowed upon seeing the princess of the night entering. There was no guard presence to be seen, although the very faint sound of leather flapping in the wind could be heard once complete silence overtook the park.
Luna offered a friendly smile to her subjects as she walked to the center of the park, where she addressed the crowd forming around her.
"Greetings, ponies. I'm sure you're all curious as to why I've come down here, and to answer that question, I've decided to treat my consort, Anonymous, to an evening together. Please, go back to what you were doing when we arrived. We would appreciate some time alone, tonight." Luna addressed the crowd.
A few nods and murmurs passed through the gathered ponies, before they quickly dispersed, allowing Anon and Luna a straight shot to a lone magnolia tree at the edge of the park. Luna turned to Anon and nodded her head toward the tree, a small smile on her face. Anon got the idea and nodded his affirmative, following Luna's lead as she walked over to the far side of the park.
As they walked, Anon watched the many ponies now eyeing him and Luna with interest. Several mares and stallions gossiped quite loudly about them across one of the many small streams littering the park. Anon shrugged the extra attention off as he arrived at the designated spot alongside Luna. The view was utterly breathtaking. With no walls or buildings obstructing their view, Anon and Luna had unrestricted access to the collective beauty of the entirety of Equestria right before their eyes.
"Wow... This is one hell of a view. Can't believe I didn't see this side of the park when I was here with Sunshine." Anon admitted, his eyes locked on the horizon..
Luna sat down beside the magnolia tree while Anon continued to look out over Equestria. She pursed her lips in thought for a moment before looking back up to Anon and politely tapping his thigh with her hoof.
"Would you care to sit with me, Anon?" She asked.
Anon looked down at Luna, a slight amount of confusion in his eyes, before he nodded and complied. He sat cross-legged next to the lunar princess as her horn illuminated in a bright teal hue. A moment later, a picnic basket appeared in front of them, and a blanket appeared underneath them. Anon jumped slightly at the sensation of the grass underneath him changing into something else, but managed to keep his composure overall.
Luna raised an eyebrow at his reaction, but simply smirked and used her magic to open the picnic basket. Both the human and pony looked into the basket to find a nice spread of sandwiches, apple cider, two glasses for the apple cider, and fruit. Immediately, a scent hit Anon's nose and he furrowed his brown as he sniffed at the air to confirm if his sense of smell was deceiving him. Luna's smirk only grew as she returned her attention to the basket.
Luna swiftly levitated the contents of the basket out and placed them neatly on the blanket between the two of them. Anon surveyed the sandwiches while Luna poured the apple cider into the glasses. As he leaned toward the sandwiches, one of them noticeably steaming, a delicious smell filled his sinuses, and he inhaled deeply, before exhaling completely.
"Is... is this... chicken?" Anon questioned, struggling to keep his jaw from dropping.
Luna nodded as she took her daffodil sandwich in her magic, "I had a feeling you'd be excited about that."
Anon looked back and forth between the sandwich and Luna several times before giving her a confused look, "You... you know I eat meat?" He asked.
"I... suspected, however I was unsure. I assumed that this would be a good way to be sure." Luna shrugged.
"H-how did you know? I haven't eaten meat since I got here, and I never told anyone. Not even Javelin." Anon questioned.
"Honestly? I saw your teeth and assumed as much. I understand the reason for you keeping this from all of us, but you needn't fear, Anon. We Equestrians are well accustomed to our carnivorous neighbors. Why, all Thestrals eat meat. It's hardly a shocking revelation that a creature with such sharp teeth and features such as yours would need meat to survive." Luna explained.
Anon shook his head in disbelief, "All this time... I was so worried you ponies would be terrified of me for eating meat, "He chuckled, "I guess I was wrong to assume."
Luna smiled, "You needn't be afraid of that, Anon. Besides, no offense, but it looks like you've been in need of a good protein source for quite some time." She teased.
Anon looked down at his arms, and how much slimmer he was now since he arrived. He shrugged, before looking back up to Luna.
"Well... to be honest, I was just a tad overweight when I got here... but I've lost a lot of muscle too. I just... I can't believe that you're actually okay with this. Like... wouldn't this almost be like me eating a friend to you... or at least a pet? Or... something?" Anon responded, struggling to make sense of the situation.
Luna giggled, "Anon, chicken are poultry. They're one of our greatest exports to the griffon kingdom. While... it isn't something most ponies like to think about, it's a natural part of life for these creatures. They aren't capable of basic thought, and we ensure that they live good, happy lives before they are swiftly, and painlessly ended."
Anon clicked his tongue, "Well shit."
"If it makes it any easier for you to understand, most pegasai eat fish every once in a while." Luna offered.
Anon did a double take, "Wait, what? Pegasai eat fish?"
Luna nodded, "Of course. The oils in the fish help keep their feathers healthy. Also, like I said, thestrals eat meat regularly as well, and they're not shunned from society, are they?"
Anon paused and creased his brow as he thought. He quickly realized that Luna was right, and as his eyes drifted down to the sandwich below, he heard Luna snicker next to him.
"You can eat it, you know? I did have it prepared especially for you." She teased.
Anon looked down at the sandwich once more before glancing over at the other ponies in the park still enjoying their evening as the sun began to set on the horizon. A few ponies were looking his way, mostly to look at Luna, but for the most part, the ponies in the park seemed completely oblivious or uncaring about his sandwich lying just in front of him, chicken or no.
"Anon, it's alright." Luna comforted, placing her hoof on his hand.
Anon looked down at the source of contact, a striking sense of déjà vu creeping up on him as he felt the soft frog of her hoof and extra strands of fur against his skin. He looked up to Luna, finding her smiling encouragingly and nodding her head toward the sandwich. Anon's eyes followed hers and he chuckled lightly to himself before grabbing the sandwich with his free hand and taking a bite out of it.
Warm, moist, delicious flavor instantly exploded all over his taste buds, and Anon had to practically restrain himself from moaning in pleasure at the taste of real meat after over a year. Luna giggled at his reaction before taking a bite of her own sandwich. She looked out over to the sunset, just in time to see the sun sink below the horizon, and the moon take its place in the sky. Billions of little white dots quickly littered the sky, prompting her to sigh peacefully at the sight of her night sky once more.
Author's Note
To be clear, I love my English bros. I got the privilege of training alongside some of ya'll when I was in the Army and you lot are great. Having said that, I will not apologize for any patriotism displayed in this chapter. Like I said last time, I felt like the exchange of culture made a lot of sense for Anon and the Princesses.
The next chapter will be a bit more exciting though, I promise :)
All's Fair in Love and War
One Week Later
Anon surveyed the reconstruction of Canterlot happening just below in the middle district from his observation point on Celestia's balcony. As pegasi, unicorns, and earth ponies worked together to rebuild after the chaos, the city's original glory slowly took shape once more. A small smile found its way onto Anon's face as he turned around and headed back inside, finding Javelin waiting patiently for him near the door.
"Enjoy the view?" Javelin smirked.
"More and more with each passing day. Although, the statue they're putting up in the gardens still seems like a bit much." Anon replied, with a chuckle.
"What do you mean? You're a legit hero, dude. If it weren't for you, I definitely would not have made it past the foyer with Raven, and then Chrysalis would've just stopped Cadence and Shining Armor from doing their thing. You're as much a hero as any other pony they're making a statue of." Javelin rebutted.
Anon shrugged, "I mean, yeah, I guess... but did they have to put the frying pan in my hands? I look like a housewife that just decided her husband shit talking her casserole was the last straw."
Javelin raised an eyebrow, "Didn't you mount it on the wall and get a little plaque for it?"
Anon coughed and awkwardly adjusted his collar, "W-well, yeah... but all of Canterlot doesn't need to know that. They could at least think it was something cool, like a sword."
Javelin laughed, "Aww, come on! You put some serious work in with that thing."
Anon shook his head as he reached the doorway. Javelin opened the door for him, before falling in step behind as Anon led the way toward the throne room.
"I mean, couldn't they at least have made it at least look a little cooler?" Anon whined.
"I think it looks cool enough. Don't want you to let all that hot air get to your head, now do we?" Javelin smirked.
Anon sighed as he rounded a corner and almost bumped into a pair of royal guards.
"Sir!" They both announced, immediately parting ways to allow him to pass while giving a crisp salute.
Anon held his hands out placatingly, "Relax, guys. I'm not a prince or anything. You don't have to salute me whenever I walk past you." He said.
"With all due respect, sir, it's not because of your position." The first guard responded.
"You might not know, but you saved my stallion and little fillies, sir. It's an honor to salute you." The second mare explained, her eyes watering ever so slightly.
Anon chewed his tongue. He looked down to Javelin to find the stallion shrugging back up to him. After a moment of thought, Anon nodded.
"I'm just glad your family is okay. They're adorable, by the way." Anon replied, returning the salute.
The mare's dropped their salutes, "Little Rosemary said you beat two changelings to save them... Thank you so much for what you did." The second guard replied.
"It was nothing special," Anon dismissively waved his hand, "Like I said, I'm just glad they're okay."
The second guard allowed a smile to grace her face as she allowed Anon to walk past, before she resumed her route with her comrade.
"Seems like you did more heroics than you let on. I didn't know you saved any little fillies or stallions." Javelin spoke up, tilting his head to the side in interest.
"Eh, I forgot to mention it. A lot happened really fast last week, and trying to rebuild has been anything but quick," Anon replied, a thoughtful look on his face, before he snapped his fingers, "Oh! That reminds me! We need to get a new pantry door. I managed to fix up the windows, but the pantry's fucked." Anon replied, a thoughtful look on his face.
"Ugh," Javelin sighed, "I saw. Think you might be able to pick one up on the way home? I've got another long shift today to help with the castle damage." He responded.
"I gotchu." Anon nodded, earning a thankful nod from the stallion walking beside him.
As they walked down the hallway toward the throne room, they walked past a window that was still shattered, and still retained some small matter of dried blood on the windowsill. Both Anon and Javelin gave a sad look to the red stains on the wall before continuing down the path and walking past several scorch marks along the walls.
"So, did Celestia say why she wanted you to come up today?" Javelin questioned.
Anon shook his head, "Nah. All I got was a letter asking me to come by around ten, and if she wasn't available, to wait in her room until eleven before coming back down to the throne room. She said she'd be finished with Day Court by then at the latest." He explained.
"Why'd she want you to wait up there?" Javelin asked.
"Something about anti-changeling wards in her room. Guess even she's being careful now." Anon shrugged.
"Eh, I guess that makes sense. Chrysalis did have you singled out back there when you were trying to save Celestia." Javelin nodded.
As the duo conversed, they soon reached the end of the long castle hallways and arrived at the throne room doors.
"Speaking of which, what are you going to do in that whole... 'princess' department?" Javelin asked, cautiously.
Anon paused right in front of the throne room doors. The pair of guards hesitated to open the door for them, their magical aura's already gripping the massive handles as they gave him a questioning look.
"I'm not sure, man. I really don't know." He admitted, before nodding to the guards at the door.
They quickly pulled the mighty throne room doors open, revealing a crowd of no less than three hundred mares and stallions, all yelling and shouting to both Celestia and a group of treasury ponies beside her.
"Princess! My house was destroyed by the changelings! I still had thirty mortgage payments on it!" One mare cried.
"I still haven't seen my little fillies!" A stallion shouted.
"My entire business was destroyed! I have no way to make money now!"
Both Anon and Javelin stared at the crowd with wide eyes as the ponies shouted and cried out for their princesses to help. Celestia struggled to maintain her infamous poker face at the sight of so many of her subjects in pain, but she managed to keep herself from overly showing it. Beside her, Raven sifted through several parchments and scrolls, along with nearly a dozen other ponies that all had money themed cutie marks.
A still bandaged Lieutenant Valorant stood in front of the princess, along with half a dozen more guards, all struggling to maintain order in the court.
"Wait your turns! You will present your grievance to the crown when you are called on!" Lieutenant Valorant shouted, even her unnaturally loud voice struggling to pierce the sea of ponies yelling in front of her.
Anon and Javelin shared a look before slowly approaching the outside of the crowd and attempting to sneak their way around the gathered ponies. Within a minute, they were spotted, and a series of hushes and whispers overtook the crowd. The deafening room suddenly silenced itself to near complete noiselessness as the eyes of hundreds of ponies drifted onto Anon.
Even Lieutenant Valorant was taken aback at the complete shift in tone of the room, and cast a confused glance back to Celestia. The solar princess shrugged her withers in shared confusion, until she looked over to where her subjects were looking, and found Anon.
"Anon." She whispered, her quiet voice booming in the silent hall.
"Anon?" One mare questioned.
"The Hero of Canterlot!" A stallion cheered.
"He's here!" Another stallion cried out.
Without warning, the entire crowd shifted toward Anon and Javelin, dozens of mares and stallions quickly rushing up to him in excitement. Anon held out his arms in alarm as no less than seven ponies all circled him and hugged his legs while the rest followed suite.
"Hey, back up!" Javelin shouted, to no avail as he was forced away from Anon by the crowd.
"I saw you smack a changeling in the face with a frying pan! It was so heroic!" A stallion exclaimed, climbing over other stallions to get closer to Anon.
Anon whipped his head back and forth at the ponies surrounding him and assaulting him with praise. He struggled to get a word in, while the ponies only piled over each other more and more to be closer to him. Across the throne room, Celestia pushed herself to her hooves and flared her wings out while she ignited her horn. A golden aura quickly wrapped around Anon and Javelin, before pulling them out of the crowd of overly excited ponies.
"Gah, what the fuck!?" Anon managed to question as he was pulled from the clutches of the crowd.
Celestia swiftly levitated both Anon and Javelin over to her throne while the ponies beneath them fought to keep up and follow. They were swiftly intercepted by Lieutenant Valorant and the rest of her guards before they could get anywhere near the throne, prompting several of them to cry out in despair. Once they were both clear of her subjects, Celestia deposited Anon and Javelin on the marble steps and pulled them both in close with her wings.
"Anon, Javelin. I'm so sorry you had to deal with that. Are you both alright?" Celestia worriedly questioned, although her voice could barely be heard over the crowd.
"What!?" Anon replied, leaning in closer.
"I'm going to teleport us to the dining room." Celestia replied, just loud enough for Anon and Javelin to make out her words.
"Teleport?! Nah, don't do that! You know teleporting fucks with my stomach!" Anon quickly protested, waving his hands around frantically.
Celestia paused mid spell, and shook her head, "Right, my apologies. Give me a moment." She responded, before turning to Lieutenant Valorant, "Lieutenant! Clear the throne room! Day Court is closed!" She commanded, using her full volume.
Lieutenant Valorant gave a quick salute to the princess, before casting several spells to enhance her voice, along with a few barriers to keep ponies away.
"NOW HEAR THIS! DAY COURT IS CLOSED!! RETURN TO YOUR HOMES AT ONCE OR BE FORCEFULLY REMOVED!" She shouted, her enhanced volume shaking the walls and deafening the ponies at the front of the crowd.
Almost immediately, the gathered ponies lost any fight they had left and dispersed, a chorus of discontent murmurs and protests echoing from the crowd as they made their way to the exit. After a few minutes, the last pony left the room, and the lieutenant closed the throne room door with her magic, before turning around and making her way back up to the throne.
"All civilians have been removed from the premises, Princess." Lieutenant Valorant announced.
Celestia gave a thankful smile, "Good work, Lieutenant. I can always count on you. Faust, it was getting hard to think, let alone speak." She replied, shaking her head.
"Normally we'd have many more guards, Princess, but... well, you know." Lieutenant Valorant gave a small shrug.
"I understand. Many of them are still recovering. It's not any of their faults... Hay, it isn't even the crowd's fault either. The Changeling Queen truly did disrupt all aspects of daily life in Canterlot. I was hoping it would be relatively easy to reopen day court as much of the damage was centered around the castle, but I didn't realize the true extent of what the changelings did." Celestia explained, sitting in her throne with a tired sigh.
"Those little shits did a number on the city, didn't they?" Anon asked, placing his hands in his pockets as he looked out the castle window at the city below.
"They certainly did... as of right now, we're looking at over fifteen million bits in damages, as well as emergency services that are still strung thin, and to top it all off, there are still dozens of dignitaries from foreign countries in the hospitals in critical condition, which is only causing more tension with our neighbors." Celestia rubbed her temples with her hooves.
"Damn... I knew it was bad, but I was hoping it just kinda looked worse than it was. What are you planning to do to fix all of this?" Anon questioned.
"At the moment, I think all I really can do is just try to tackle one issue at a time. Raven has been writing down most of the damages individuals in Day Court brought forth, but I'm not sure the crown can even cover this much damage."
Anon looked over to the secretary pony as she scribbled away with her quill and parchment.
"So far, we have well over a hundred ponies who lost everything. Their home, place of work, and belongings. Trying to rehome and compensate them is going to be tricky, but if we cut the Gala budget by fifty percent, we can cover at least the ponies we've heard so far." Raven spoke up, her eyes still attached to her parchment as she continued to write.
Anon let out a whistle, "Well I wonder how the nobles will take that."
"Comet Star and the rest of his goons are still in prison for their attempt on your life, so I doubt the Gala will be very well received this year anyway." Celestia replied, before turning to Raven, "In all actuality, it might be much more enjoyable this year if it's a smaller affair and has fewer ponies there purely to show off how wealthy they are. Go ahead and write that down then, Raven. We'll cut the Gala budget this year to help ponies who need it now."
Anon tilted his head to the side and raised his eyebrows in surprise as he watched Raven nod and write down Celestia's orders. After a moment, Celestia looked at him curiously.
"What is it, Anon?" She asked.
Anon shook his head, "Nothing, nothing. Just... even still I'm surprised at how you handle things here. Back home my government would have just printed more money and raised taxes to fix the issue rather than cut funding for any of their parties or programs."
Celestia nodded, "While I'm sure many of the noble class will be upset over my decision, the most important thing right now is getting my ponies back on their hooves. Their well-being is so much more important to me than some silly party we have every year, anyway."
Anon gave a nod, although his expression showed that he was clearly impressed, before Celestia continued.
"The only truly unfortunate detail with regards to the Gala is that it usually attracts delegates from all over the world, and I haven't seen some of those faces in nearly a decade. Hopefully they'll be able to attend next year's Gala, assuming nothing as crazy as an invasion happens again." Celestia sighed.
"Well, when you say it like that, you make it sound like invasions happen around here all the time." Anon chuckled.
"Don't even get me started. It feels like every five years, there's a disaster." Celestia rolled her eyes.
Anon shook his head and sighed, "Jesus. Sounds like a real pain in the ass to deal with."
"As usual, I'm not sure how donkeys fit in to it, but regardless, this is all talk for me to deal with later. I did not ask you here today to bombard you with my problems." Celestia said, giving a tired smile.
"I don't mind helping out however I can. Only thing I've been doing the last week has been fixing up Jav's place since they bombed us." Anon chuckled.
"I truly appreciate that, Anon. Perhaps later I will take you up on that offer. For now though, I think I've had as much talk of money and disasters as I can stomach for the day. I did ask you to come here for a reason, and I would like to discuss it with you, if you're willing to hear me and Luna out." Celestia responded, a hopeful smile forming on her face.
Anon nodded, "Yeah, sure. Are we gonna go to her?"
"If you wouldn't mind. Javelin could stay here and keep Raven company, if he wishes." Celestia answered, a sly smirk appearing on her face.
"Don't mind if I do." Javelin smiled as he walked over to Raven's side.
Raven smiled as Javelin stepped over and sat down beside her, before planting a chaste kiss on his cheek, instantly making the stallion blush.
"Aw, get a room, you two." Anon joked, causing a snicker from Celestia, and a laugh from Raven while Javelin blushed even harder.
"Come along, Anon. Luna will be most happy to see you." She called behind her as she walked toward the throne room doorway.
Anon followed behind as Celestia led the way out of the throne room and down the East hall toward her and Luna's bedrooms. As they walked, they passed a large, pony shaped hole in the wall, and several still shattered windows. Several black burn marks littered the ceiling, walls, and floor all the way down the hall. Even the wooden door frame was splintered in several places.
"They haven't gotten around to fixing up the hallways yet, have they?" Anon questioned.
"They're getting around to it. The south hall leading straight to the dining room was less damaged, so repairs have started there, but this hall was marked for more serious repair work. If I recall correctly, the construction team will be tackling this one tomorrow." Celestia replied, a thoughtful look on her face.
Anon nodded and dropped the subject, prompting Celestia to do the same and continue the walk in a relatively comfortable silence. However, Anon quickly noticed a slight edge in Celestia's step, and a stiffness to her movements, almost as if she was worried, or nervous about something. His brow briefly furrowed in concern, but before he could say anything, they reached the end of the hall and turned into the stairwell leading up the castle spire.
Celestia quickly trotted up the stairs, nearly leaving Anon behind as he hurried to keep pace with her.
"Any reason you're in such a rush all of a sudden?" Anon asked.
Celestia instantly slowed to nearly a snail's pace, "Oh, sorry, sorry. My apologies. I just lost myself in my thoughts for a moment." She replied, giving a sheepish smile.
Anon chuckled, "What were you thinking about? Money?"
Celestia shook her head, "If I think about money any longer, I'm liable to give myself an aneurism. I was simply thinking of how strange it feels to have you back here in the castle." She admitted, a small blush showing on her face.
Anon smiled, "You know, it feels really weird to be back here, too. Not in a bad way or anything, but just... strange. Can't believe I kinda missed all the stairs in here." He laughed.
Celestia let out a giggle, "Well I'm sure the stairs have missed you dearly as well. Now, let's get up to Luna's room." She replied, turning tail and heading up the remainder of the stairs. Anon followed after her, and quickly found himself in the hallway connecting Celestia and Luna's bedrooms.
With the sun princess at the lead, they quickly arrived at Luna''s bedroom and knocked several times. A loud, very unfeminine snore answered them, prompting a sheepish smile to form on Celestia's face.
"I suppose she fell asleep waiting for us." She chuckled.
"Should we let her sleep?" Anon asked.
"No, no. She wants to talk to you as much as I do. She said to wake her up if she was asleep when you arrived." Celestia replied, before banging on the door with her hoof.
A muffled groan emanated from the room, followed by the sound of a heavy sigh, and then finally hooves hitting the marble floor. A soft clopping sound slowly grew louder as the moon princess reached the door and pulled it open, the bags under her eyes greeting her guests before she could even say a word.
"Mhhm, sister?" Luna mumbled, before looking over to Anon, her eyes widening immediately as her entire demeaner perked up, "A-Anon!?"
Before Anon could respond, Luna launched herself at him and wrapped her hooves around his neck, pulling him into a tight hug. Anon jumped at the sudden affection, before letting out a chuckle and hugging Luna back. He gently wrapped his arms around her barrel, carefully avoiding her wings as he nuzzled his cheek against her mane.
"Mmmmm... you give the best hugs." Luna whispered.
"I'm glad to hear that. I've been out of practice for a while." Anon smiled.
Once Anon and Luna pulled away from each other, Celestia cleared her throat and looked inconspicuously out the window. Anon raised an eyebrow before a chuckle escaped his lips and he turned to face her.
"You want a hug too?" He asked, more of a statement than a question.
Celestia turned to Anon, mock surprise on her face, "A hug! Why, of course! I'd love one." She teased.
Anon snickered as he pulled the sun princess in to a hug, her cheek resting on his shoulder while his arms wrapped around her neck and withers. Her soft rainbow mane slowly billowed around his arms, the mystical hair leaving a distinct feeling of warmth and comfort every time it touched his skin. Anon rubbed his hand up and down Celestia's neck, each digit of his hand running through the velveteen fur along her body, and earning a soft sigh from the sun princess as she wrapped her hooves around his waist in thanks.
Eventually, they pulled away from each other, and Celestia dropped back down to all four hooves.
"Well, that was certainly one of the best hugs I've ever had." Celestia said, almost breathlessly.
Anon simply smiled, "So what's this thing you wanted to talk about?"
"Right, come along, Anon. I think it'd be best if we discussed this in my room." Luna spoke up, her eyes lighting up in excitement.
Luna led the way inside while Celestia and Anon quickly followed after her. Once they were all in her room, she shut the door with her magic while Celestia walked over to her bed and Anon made his way to her window. He placed his hands in his pockets once more as he looked out of the stained glass to the world below, before turning around to face both princesses.
"Alright. So what's up?" Anon inquired.
Celestia and Luna shared a look, before looking to Anon.
"Anon," Celestia started, "I'm not going to bring up old wounds and start apologizing again and again for what we did to you back then... but after what happened last week... after what you did for us, I think it'd be wrong of us not to at least try one more time."
"We don't want to pressure you," Luna continued, "And if your answer is 'no', then we'll respect that and never ask you again..." She trailed off.
"-But if you'd give us one more chance, we'd both absolutely love the opportunity to take you out on a date." Celestia added.
"-As ourselves. We'll never lie to you again. That, we swear." Luna finished, bowing her head ever so slightly.
As the princesses of Equestria awaited an answer, Anon stared back at them with a mix of emotions on his face. He pursed his lips in thought for a few moments, while his brow furrowed ever so slightly. Eventually, he looked down to the floor, and over to Luna's vanity mirror against the wall. After staring at the combined reflections of himself and the two princesses, Anon finally turned back to face them.
"I think... I'd like that." He replied, quietly.
Instantly, both princesses rushed him and pulled him into a group hug while nuzzling their cheeks against his.
"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" Luna cried.
"Thank you so much, Anon! We won't ruin this, we swear!" Celestia added, a tear clawing its way out of her tightly closed eyes.
Anon let out a chuckle as he returned the hug, "I'm glad you guys are so excited. I'm... I'm really excited too." He admitted.
Celestia and Luna squeezed him even tighter as the tears truly fell. The room descended into a chorus of sniffles and choked, happy sobs as the solar and lunar princesses finally held Anon in their forelegs once more. It took them almost ten minutes to finally release the hug.
Author's Note
Aren't they just adorable?
Alright, serious talk time. I've been reading the comments and ya'll have made me kinda consider doing some extra writing on this story. A few of you complained that the 6 month time gap was a bit of a cop out rather than showing everything that happened during that time. I did that because I felt like the story was already taking forever to get to the climax, but that's just me. Since opinions seem incredibly split on this story already, I want to take a poll and decide from there. Depending on how ya'll vote, I'll either post like normal or put the story on hiatus for a few weeks to write the extra chapters.
So if you want me to write in some chapters to fill the 6 month time skip, and put the story on hiatus, let me know in the comments.
If you want me to keep posting the story as normal, also please let me know. I am not going to do some seperate story with the six months in there or something. This is either gonna be done here or not at all.
Also please don't just say "you're the author, do what you want", because I don't want to do those chapters, at all. However, I want this story to be the best it can be, so if you think that would add to it, say so. I'll count up the comments by Friday and whichever side gets the most supportive comments is what I'll do.
