Chuck Baleigh Goes to Ponyville (Read: "Mistake")

Notice: This chapter has no pony. Next one will, but this one doesn't, so don't bitch that there's no pony here.

The factory was in the most desolate condition it had probably been in since it started. The employees were all payed minimum wage, and sometimes even less than that. None of them were provided benefits or health care. If one were to get an injury while working in the factory, the money to pay the hospital bills would be taken right out of their check. They got horrible schedules and working times, too. They'd have to come in every day and work 12 hours. Think about that. Every day, 12 hours. Oh, and they didn't have holidays off either, FYI.

The conditions were awful. Smoke billowed out of several machines, so it was hard to see, and you'd most likely be coughing your lungs out until you died. The interior of the factory felt more hot and humid than Satan's asshole. If one were in their right mind, they would immediately abandon this factory and find another job. And there were people in their right mind. These sane people included absolutely every worker in the factory. And they would've quit. They really, really would've, were it not for one thing.

A voice came on over a loudspeaker. "IT'S TIME FOR YOUR MINUSCULE LUNCHES DICKWADS! REPORT TO THE MESS HALL TO GET YOUR DIARRHEA INDUCING TV DINNERS!"

Him. He is the reason nobody even dared leave this factory. Their boss was probably one of the most cruel men to exist on the planet Earth. If it wasn't enough that he was so Goddamn ANNOYING, he constantly made threats every day to anyone who dared to think about quitting. Horrible, horrible, threats. There were rumors that spoke of one man who quit. This man was later found as nothing more than a bloody mess of a corpse outside in the parking lot. They say that the autopsy reports said that the man was shot with high-powered guns over 50 times. Even after he was dead, it was said that his corpse was still shot at just to make that bloody mess, more than likely as a warning to anyone else who wanted to quit. This warning, by the way, worked.

The employees moved to the mess hall, as instructed. No one wanted to even dare disobey the man, lest they be shot at. Oh yeah, it's probably also worth mentioning that the boss (and his guards, who were equally afraid of the boss) would sometimes just shoot at workers for fun. Of course, sometimes they intentionally missed them, lest they lose workers. Emphasis on sometimes.

Once in the mess hall, the workers lined up for their disgusting microwaved food. One by one, the workers would grab their plastic trays, get food, and sit down to eat. However, nobody spoke a word in the room. All anyone had on their mind was either thoughts about quitting, killing their boss, or committing suicide, all subjects which the boss would definitely not be pleased to hear about. How could the boss know what they were talking about if he wasn't in the room, you ask? Cameras. Microphones. Guards. They were everywhere, and watched and listened to anything and everything the workers said.

Clearly, this boss was insane. Yet strangely, he hadn't been caught by authorities yet. Not even once. He was such a slippery sunuvabitch. Many workers were very tempted to call the cops, no, the SWAT team, to come and bring this man down. However, everyone feared for their lives too much to do so, because several feared that they would become more than a bloody corpse in the parking lot. They might be hung as trophies in a secret room just for the boss' pleasure. They might be raped to death. They might even be grind up and made into next Monday's "mystery meat" lunch. All feared these possibilities too much to pick up a phone, dial 911, and report on a man that went by the name of "Chuck Baleigh".

Chuck smirked to himself. He liked that insult he'd just yelled over the loudspeaker. "Dickwad". Probably one of his favorite words. Of course, he also enjoyed calling people dipshits. Or fucktards. Or any other curse word that could be combined with a normal word.

Knowing that every employee but his scientists were on lunch break, he could now see how the research on new and advanced technology was going. He'd always have to wait until lunch break, because that meant nobody would see him go to the secret labs that only he and his scientists knew about. If his employees learned the location of the lab, then they would break into it and use the very technology that Chuck wanted to sell against him.

Chuck got up from his desk and moved towards the door to his office, bracing for the heat that would overcome him. His office was one of the only air-conditioned rooms in the factory, and he didn't want that to change. If he gave his employees air-conditioning, among other benefits, they would gain the confidence to stand up to Chuck. He had to make sure they knew that they were nothing but workers, and he was the boss.

Before leaving the room, Chuck gave a look at himself in his mirror, to make sure his sexy appearance was kept up. His face was the same as always: a large tumor like growth sprouting out of his chin, with bandages applied to it, his hair still falling out, with a few strands of white hair still left on his head, his nose crooked, and those eyes on the mask. The mask he always wore and swore to never take off. It looked like a large black smiley face emoticon ( :) <- Like that ) that covered his mouth and eyes. They still gazed into his soul, giving him the vibe that something was seriously wrong with him, and that was the exact message he wanted to send to his enemies.

"YEP. EVERYTHING IS STILL IN ORDER. HAG WIFE #33 WON'T BE ABLE TO RESIST FUCKING CHUCK TONIGHT!" Chuck yelled with splendor.

With his appearance checked out, Chuck opened his office door and left for the secret lab.

Chuck walked through the main working room, where several machines were shut down for the lunch hour. Several of Chuck's products could still be seen scattered about on the conveyor belts. Things like "The Heart Meter" and "The Mustard Gas Gun" were his top sellers. Though, the customers in question sometimes looked shady. Like that one guy who said he hated the president. He bought the Heart Meter, and the next day, the president was found dead. The Heart Meter was only supposed to be used by dumb teenagers who were suffering from their stupid break-ups! The plastic heart that was used to kill another with love or hate was not intended to be used by adults! Oh well. That just meant Chuck could run for president.

Chuck walked up to a retinal scanner and looked into it. It scanned his eye, and a voice called out from the device right after it.

"Access granted. Greetings, Chuck Baleigh."

The walls in front of Chuck began to make a large creak, and then split in two. The walls continued to separate as it revealed a white room behind them. Many small computers and devices could be seen within, along with several people wearing lab coats, but they looked fragile and unhealthy. Chuck knew why. To keep the men in here from being seen, he kept them locked up in this part of the factory. Sure, they were starving most of the time, but Chuck sent food to them. His Chuck Baleigh brand Coffee Crisps were the most he sent, and they came in small packs with 10 coffee flavored crackers. Chuck was sure it could last if he sent them some new packs every week.

The only other problem Chuck could think of with the scientists was how sick they got all the time. Sure, there was a sewage pipe that broke open above this part of the factory, but that wouldn't hurt them, would it? Yeah, maybe there were a few scientists that looked like they desperately needed a hospital, but they could just sleep it off.

Chuck moved into the room and was greeted by one of the lab coat wearing men.

"*cough* Hello sir. What would you like *cough, cough, cough* to check progress on today?"

"WELL, WHAT KIND OF THINGS ARE BEING WORKED ON RIGHT NOW?"

"Right now? Well, we are working on something so advanced, that we'll *cough* be the first to cross dimensions if *cough* it succeeds.

Chuck was very interested in this. If his company gained the power to cross the dimensional plane, he'd make millions, no, billions. Of course, nobody else would get to know the secret of the technology. Those greedy assholes would have to figure it out themselves.

"WHAT'RE WE WAITING FOR? LET'S GO CHECK OUT THIS FUCKIN' PORTAL DEVICE!"

The scientist and Chuck both began a trek towards a staircase in the corner of the room, and moved downwards. The walk down was dark, with only a few dim lights set down every few levels to light the way. At the bottom of the stairs was a large door that lead to a huge chamber. The scientist held out an I.D. card, which was scanned by a small laser that protruded from a display. The door moaned and opened up, revealing a giant chamber with a tall device being the first thing Chuck saw. It looked to be a few stories high, and almost touched the top of the chamber. It looked like a giant ring with small hinges on the sides, to keep it from falling over.

"HOLY SHIT. YOU GUYS MADE THIS?" Chuck exclaimed.

"That is correct *cough* sir."

Chuck continued to move towards the giant machine, admiring its height. For once, Chuck was impressed with something, and it didn't have to do with himself. He was brought out of his thoughts by the scientist that was following him.

"Sir, would you *cough* like to see it in action?"

"WAIT, YOU'RE TELLING CHUCK THIS THING IS OPERATIONAL RIGHT NOW?"

"*cough* Yes sir. We have tested it multiple times, and we can *cough, cough* guarantee that it works."

"DO YOU THINK CHUCK COULD SEND AWAY A HAG WIFE WITH IT?"

The scientist grinned sheepishly. "Heh, funny you should mention that...your *cough* wife was one of our latest test subjects. ...and she didn't come back..."

"AND YOU DID IT WITHOUT CHUCK'S PERMISSION!?" Chuck shouted, seeming angry.

"I-it wasn't my idea!" The scientist shrunk down, covering himself with his arms to prepare for a blow.

Chuck only stared at the scientist, but then extended his hand to the cowering man. The scientist, noting this, grabbed Chuck's hand with his own, and was then surprised to find Chuck shaking it.

"YOU CRAZY BASTARDS JUST DID CHUCK A FAVOR! HE WAS GONNA KILL HER AND RE-MARRY ANYWAYS, SO YOU JUST GOT THAT OUT OF THE WAY! THANKS!"

The scientist got up, confused but happy Chuck didn't decide to kill him right then and there, because he certainly wasn't above it.

"Y-you're welcome."

"ANYWAYS, SINCE HAG WIFE DIDN'T COME BACK, DOES THAT MEAN IT'S NOT SAFE?"

"W-well, it's a possibility. We've tested it on multiple flora and fauna, and we only got statistics that showed it successfully transported them into *cough* another dimension. But your wife... well, there were no readings when she went through."

Chuck stared at the scientist again. This time, the scientist let his guard down, not expecting Chuck to get angry. However, the scientist was shocked to see Chuck pull out his personal revolver and shoot a scientist across the room with it.

"GODDAMMIT, THAT MEANS IT CAN'T BE SOLD!"

The scientist shot screamed in pain and clutched his shoulder, but continued working, knowing that if he stopped, Chuck would fire again.

"S-s-sir, if you could please calm down, I just want to inform you that we're conducting another test right now."

Chuck turned his head to the shaking scientist. "RIGHT NOW, HUH? WHY IS IT THAT THERE'S NO TEST SUBJECT HERE, THEN? WHY ISN'T A TEST HAPPENING RIGHT NOW?"

"Test subjects take *cough* time to arrive sir," the scientist answered, hoping Chuck cooled down. What Chuck said next, the scientist would never expect.

"FUCK WAITING, USE CHUCK."

"Pardon, sir?"

"USE. CHUCK. AS. A. TEST. SUBJECT. CLEAN OUT YOUR GODDAMN EARS YOU TWIT."

The scientist pondered at this suggestion. Why, if Chuck went through through the portal, and he ended up like his wife (whatever it was that happened to her), Chuck would be gone from this world. Forever. Everyone in the factory would be free. Free! Sure, they'd be out of jobs, but they'd manage. It was nothing short of a miracle that Chuck for once suggested that he be used as a test subject in a dangerous test, so the scientist did the smart thing, and complied.

"Sir, *cough, cough* this is a genius idea. Why, maybe if you end up in another realm, you could sell some of your products to them! You'd gain *cough* more profit!" The scientist exclaimed, hoping that this would guarantee Chuck didn't change his mind about his decision.

"HOLY SHIT! CHUCK SHOULD PROMOTE YOU. YOU COME UP WITH THE BEST GODDAMN IDEAS AND KILL CHUCK'S STUPID HAG WIVES FOR HIM!"

"Now sir, should we begin the test?" The scientist motioned towards the machine, eager to rid the world of Chuck Baleigh.

"FUCKIN' YES. LET'S DO THIS!" Chuck yelled as he dashed to the machine. He stood in front of it, next to the place he expected the portal would open up.

Before Chuck could move towards the portal machine, the scientist stopped him.

"Excuse me, sir. *cough* You should probably take this *cough*," the scientist finished as he held out a walkie-talkie to Chuck.

"THE FUCK IS THIS FOR?"

"It's *cough* to keep in touch with us, sir. How else will you talk to us when you go to another world?"

"FAIR ENOUGH. NOW LET'S JUST DO THIS ALREADY! CHUCK'S GETTING ANXIOUS AND BORED. AND YOU WILL NOT LIKE HIM WHEN HE'S ANXIOUS AND BORED."

I don't like you already, the scientist thought as he moved over to a control panel, where he conversed with other scientists. Then, as he and other scientists in the room put on goggles, he shouted, "Begin *cough* the machine for another portal!"

Scientists on multiple control panels began pressing buttons at a steady pace, preparing the machine for activation. Green text that represented data flashed on the screens of the panels as the scientists began sending the data into the machine to create the portal. The room was silent, save for the tapping of keys on panels, and for once, Chuck was worried. What would happen if the test fucked up? Would he ever come back here again? If he did go to another dimension, would they even have money?

Chuck was brought out of his thoughts when he heard a large *BOOM*. He looked up, and saw a purple-pink force field being created inside the ring of the machine. At first, it started as a small patch about maybe 4 yards long, but it then grew into a massive field that took up the whole ring. All the while it sparked and glowed, as if an ominous force had overtaken the machine. It roared and boomed as it finished forming, and almost deafened the whole crew.

"SMARTASSES, IS THE PORTAL FINISHED? CAN CHUCK WALK THROUGH IT?" Chuck shouted at the scientists at the panels.

"Yes sir! *cough* I can guarantee that the portal is at 100% completion *cough*. Just walk on through, and you'll be taken to wherever the coordinates are set on!"

Chuck didn't like the sound of that. "Wherever the coordinates are set on" could be anywhere. What if the land was made of fire?

"WHY DON'T YOU SET THE COORDINATES YOURSELVES?"

"Because we can't! We haven't perfected the entire process yet!"

"YOU DUMBSHITS! YOU DECIDE TO TELL ME THIS NOW!?"

All part of the scientist's plan to maybe kill Chuck. After all, what if he went to a place that had an atmosphere made of carbon-monoxide? However, just in case Chuck made it back, the scientist had to make up an excuse so that Chuck didn't want his head on a platter.

"Don't *cough* worry sir! We can guarantee you with our data that the *cough, cough* realm you're traveling to is safe!"

"DO THEY HAVE MONEY?"

"Yes! Go through the portal, quickly! It's about to close!"

Chuck glanced one last time at the scientist, then turned to the portal. He'll just go with it. He'd gotten this far. Why just create a giant portal that could take him anywhere and not go through it? With a breath, Chuck stepped forward, and into the portal.