Chapters Music
“What the fuck is this.” You said, giving an annoyed look.
“Whatcha mean.” He said.
“Jazz, really?” You say raising and eyebrow
“Come on, its good!” he said, yelling like a toddler.
“Don’t judge it man, it’s good in its own way” he said with a kind tone.
“Sure whatever…” you said defeated.
A minute passes with the music still going on as they all take swiggs from their drinks. An idea passes through the air.
“What would you want your name to be if we just went off the grid?”
“Oh! Dante all the way” You say, feeling cool with yourself.
“Ok DaNtE!” he said in a patronising tone.
“Alright then what about you Mr.High and Mighty!” You say, shaking his hands in the air mockingly.
“Um, Vash…” He said realising that he is about to be made fun of.
“Oh sorry what was that, couldn't hear yuh!” You said holding an ear too him.
“VASH ALRIGHT, FUCK!” he yelled.
“Vash the Stampede, heh.” you said in a smug tone.
“So what about you?” Vash said pointing a finger at his other bro.
“Oh um well I was thinking about Static.” he said in a reserved tone while drinking from his beer.
“Alright.” you say surprised.
“Yeah that's not bad.” he said ‘I should have gone with Terry’ he said to himself.
Vash looks at the clock to see what time it is, 11:09 pm. He thought to himself pondering on what if the three of them did just run off one day and start another life. Maybe it would be better if they all started with a clean slate with new names, a new life, one that is better than one having to worry about the responsibilities of life on this hunk of rock. He thinks about College, the student loans you owe, taxes, and worrying if you have enough money to eat. Fuck it.
“I wish we could actually leave this life behind.” Vash said
"Yeah honestly this fucking planet can suck my taint." You said, chugging the rest of your Smirnoff.
“It does sound nice to be honest.” Static said. “Okay we should probably go to bed otherwise I’m gonna beat both of yo asses if were late for classes tomorrow.”
Both Vash and Dante give a quick nod out of fear and run upstairs. While running up you shove Vash into the wall hard.
“AH YOU FUCKIN ASSHOLE!” Vash says crashing into the wall rubbing his arm.
“HAHA you said ASS!” you said out of genuine glee.
“Heheh, ass..” Vash says walking up the stairs.
They all go to their rooms falling asleep the clock says 11:11 pm. The clock glows a bright red cloaking the room and then the entire house in a red glow. Outside the house there is someone walking down the sidewalk and notices the house enveloped by a glowing red aura. “What the fuck is happenin there.” he says. With an audible pop the house vanishes.
“DUH FUCK!” He yelled.
-Vash's POV-
The sun beams through your window, It always felt good when the light of the sun graced your skin it's alway- OH F U C K your head hurts. It feels like a rat is inside your head and is trying to eat its way out. You get up out of bed and make your way to your bathroom you flip the light switch and nothing. You flip it over and over and nothing comes from it.
"Great the power is out." you tell yourself a little perturbed.
You pull open the Mirror Cabinet to get some pain killers in you so this headache can go away. You turn the handle on the faucet so you can swallow down the pills but nothing. No water, shit your luck today is just fucking stellar and you swallow the pills dry.
You walk out and walk downstairs and you see Static in the Living Room looking out the window.
"Morning." you say curiously.
"Yo, I, um..." Static says in a worried tone.
"What's happening, wait don't tell me that hooker is out there again pissing on the side of the house again cause I swea-" you are cut off by Static.
"No," Static shivers at the thought of the last time she did that, he had to wash that off with the hose too, "-I don't think we're in Kansas anymore man."
The fuck does that mean. Static is serious though from the tone of his voice as he motions you to the window and What in the sweet mother of christ. You definitely not in the city. It's not like it's a bad site but it's still very fucky.
Mountains from the eyes can see, a rainbow can be seen from behind on of the mountains, and a small town? village? You don't know but HOLY SHIT is that a castle built into one of the mountains in the over there. This is just, wow. I mean WOW.
EddyWallyWow.mp3
"Wait what are those things in the sky?" you ask, "Birds maybe?"
"Nah man, those things are way too big to be birds." Static exclaims.
"Wait where's Dante? Is he even up?" Vash questions.
Static shakes his head and you facepalm.
"HEY DANTE WAKE UP THE FUCK UP!" Vash yells "ITS ALREADY PAST NOON, GET YOUR LIFE TOGETHER"
You here a big thud from above you and wince as you hear rummaging with a door slamming open. Stomping can be heard from upstairs and an 'OH SHIT' as Dante trips and rolls down the stair with him landing on the ground in front of the stairs.
"Fuck..." Dante says standing up dusting himself off and rubbing his head. "Ok I'm up whats-" He pauses, "What the fuck is happening outside."
"Don't know but I think Vash's wish from last night came true." Static says staring at you.
"Fuck me dude, I meant like go in the fucking woods in the mountains or some shit, not this!" you say rubbing the back of your neck.
You and your bros hear a knock at the door and some whispering. Static sees a cyan blurr go blow past the window outside and falls back in surprise. The Three of you walk to the door. You fumble at the door handle a little and open the door and are greeted by six people, horses, people horses? Girls, 6 girls are standing on our porch. One of them pipes up.
"H-hi can you understand me?" The purple one asks.
All three of you unanimously say 'Yes'.
"Well thats makes things a lot easier well my name is Princess Twilight Sparkle and these are my friends!" she says.
"This Is Rarity," Twilight points at a woman with a purple mane.
"Hello." Rarity greets.
"This is Applejack," she points at a country looking woman.
"Howdy!" She greets you in a thick southern accent.
"Pinkie Pie," point at a woman with cotton candy hair jumping up and down.
"Hi-ya!" she blurts out throwing confetti in the air.
"Thats Rainbow Dash," she says looking over at a woman floating in the air.
"Sup." she greets.
"And this is Fluttershy!" she says pulling a woman with pink hair hiding behind her bangs.
"Hi..." she says quietly hiding back behind Twilight.
"Well that's all our names, now what's yours if I might ask?" Twilight asks.
Author's Note
This is my first story! Hope you enjoyed what little of it there is but I'll put more chapters real soon so I won't keep you waiting.
"Hey! Are you even listening!" Twilight yells at you.
"Oh shit, sorry, I was just-" Vash Hesitates while Dante shoves him out the way.
"What are you guys?" Dante asks inquisitively, "Some kind of horse human hybrids?" Dante finishes.
Twilight and the others have an annoyed look one their faces with Rarity having a more disgusted look on her face.
"What?" Dante askes visibly confused.
"We are NOT horses, WE are PONIES!" Rarity chastises Dante.
"Wait is that like a slur for you, I didn't mean it like that." Dante says calming the technicolor pony people? I don't know what to call them so I'll just go with Ponies.
"I guess I'll keep that in mind for future insults." Dante says with Static slapping the back of his head.
"Don't even think about it Dante, we at least need to make a good first impression." Static says with a stern voice.
"We accept your apology Dante was it, and if I might ask, what are your names?" Twilight asks for the second time.
"Oh yeah my name is Static." he says shaking Twilights hand.
"I-I'm Dante and also sorry about calling you that," Dante continues looking at Rarity, "And also very sorry for calling you that Miss Rarity."
"O-oh don't worry about it darling, I know you didn't mean anything by it and please just call me Rarity, none of that miss business." Rarity says.
"I'll keep it in mind." Dante says with a smirk and cocked eyebrow giving a wink.
Rarity notices and blushes a bit at that and gives a soft smile back at him. Dante knows when to be an asshole and when to be a ladies man, his mom was like that too whenever he brought his friends over to his house. Always being rather flirty to his friends, even more so when she got divorced from his father. That asshole didn't even care who he was talking to and was an asshole 100% of the time (No wonder why she divorced him).
Okay this getting uncomfortable "Okay now um, well my name is Vash, uh nice to meet you Princess and others." he greets awkwardly snapping Dante out of his funk with Rarity.
"WOW this place looks like the apartments in Manehattan!" you look behind you to see the pink one searching you apartment scanning every detail.
"WHAT THE-" Vash says in surprise, "How did you get in we were blocking the door!"
"That's a Pinkie secret!" Pinkie Pie says pushing a finger over Vash's mouth.
The group of ponies behind you look surprised at the mystical powers this pony has.
"So what are you fellers anyways?" AppleJack says out loud.
"Yeah what are you?" Pinkie Pie says jumping on Vash's back with her arms hugging his neck. His face turns beet red as he feels her breast press against his back. Vash then turns her around in front of him and peels her off with all the spaghetti coming out of his pockets.
"O-ok maybe a little bit of personal space there Pinkie." Vash says calming himself down, "Well to answer your question, we are humans, do you not have humans here." he questions.
"Humans huh? No but it seems that your pretty close to ponies except for your legs, face, and no fur on your bodies." Twilight continues, "If you'd let me I would love to study your physiology and ask some question about your world."
"Uh sure but one question?" Dante asks, "Where are we exactly?".
"Oh well I guess you wouldn't know seeing how your not from here well were in-" Twilight is interrupted by Pinkie pie.
"EQUESTRIA!" she says pulling out some party poppers and pulling the strings to burst out confetti.
"Yes uh Equestria, and right now your on the edge of Ponyville." Twilight informs them.
"Oh and I thought we were in 'Las Pegasus' heheh." Dante quips.
"Nah thats a little bit west of here." Rainbow Dash says bluntly.
Dante face changes from a smug grin to confusion. What next is there a Manhattan here to, Baltimore, Philadelphia!? Ok this is giving him a headache. He bets one of these mountains is there version of Mount Everest but the name is pun like 'Mount Everhoof' or some shit like that. He's not gonna ask that though because that would just hurt his head even more.
"Well probably need to go see the Princess's but maybe not today, don't want to show up unannounced." Twilight says.
"Spike!" Twilight calls out, with rumbling coming from her bag. A small purple and green lizard thing pops it's head out of Twilight's bag.
"Whatcha need Twilight?" Spike asks Twilight.
"I need you to send a message to Princess Celestia," Twilight asks and Spike taking out Parchment paper and a quill with Twilight continuing, "Princess Celestia, we need to see you right away in regards of some alien beings appearing in our world and needed to give your attention to the matter. Your student Twilight Sparkle."
"Okay and there," Spike says lighting the parchment ablaze with a fiery breath, "And sent!".
"Um, Twilight?" Vash asks.
"Yes." Twilight responds.
"What is that thing?" Vash questions Twilight looking with a cocked brow at Spike.
"Oh this is my friend Spike," she continues, "He's a baby dragon." saying matter of factly.
Vash looks at the dragon surprised at how un dragon like he looks. If anything he looks more like a kobold or a dragon born. But he's not going to correct the pony who has spent her whole life here and knows more about this land than either him, Dante, and Static.
"So what happens now?" Static asks Twilight.
"Well we have to wait for a response from the Princes-" Twilight is interrupted by a rolled and sealed piece of parchment magically coming out of Spike's mouth with him giving a smokey burp, "Oh well that was quick." Twilight says.
"Well what does it say?" Dante asks.
"It says 'Dear my most faithful student, thank you for bringing this matter to my attention. My sister and I would need you and these unexpected visitors too come to Canterlot Castle in two days at noon, with much love, Princess Celestia." Spike finishes shoving the parchment in the bag.
"Two days huh, I hope we don't have to walk all the way do we?" Dante asks.
"No, we'll be taking the express train all the way to Canterlot which is the castle on that mountain all the way over there." Twilight explains.
Thank god these ponies are advanced enough to have trains. Vash wasn't looking forward to going on a hiking trip to see if him and his friends were a threat to their society. He wasn't exactly in the greatest shape at this current time. Although that's something he shouldn't worry about right now. Electricity and water are the main things he's worried about right now.
While he was thinking most of Twilight's friends have left and said their goodbyes. All that was left was Twilight, Rainbow Dash, and Fluttershy.
"Hey do you guys have electricity, if you do, might you have a power generator we could borrow and maybe a way to get water to our house?" Vash is asking the important questions now.
"Oh yes we do have electricity, we would just need to get a mana battery to connect to your house," Twilight continues "And in regards to water we can route water from the the river with some quick magic." Twilight says with a determined look on her face.
A little while later after Twilight fixed everything up for them so they can live. Vash asked if he had to pay anything and said that water from the river is always free and that she just had a mana battery for just in case hers got broken. Well at least you all don't have to pay for electricity and water now.
"Hey Twilight do you and your friends want to stay over and hang out?" Dante asks.
"That sounds like an awesome idea!" Rainbow says excitedly.
"That doesn't sound to bad I guess..." Fluttershy says quietly.
"I can't do that, I need to go finish studying a new spell that I found recently," Twilight walks to the door to leave, "Oh and I'll see you three in two days to bring you to Canterlot, bye!" She walks out and closes the door behind her.
"So what are we gonna do watch a movie, maybe play a game!" Rainbow Dash asks expectantly.
"Oh I got an Idea." Dante says looking at the two ponies with a grin.
Music
"GWAAA AAAAAH!"
"Hah take that Split Lip!" Rainbow yells at the screen sticking an elite with a plasma grenade.
"Flutts watch you back." Vash says to Fluttershy.
"What..." Fluttershy says when a suicide grunt blows her shit up.
"Why did he do that, he had so much to live for..." Fluttershy asks.
"War Flutts, some people care so much about winning the good fight and for the place that you live to prosper." Dante says, "That even means committing suicide to kill the sorry bastard who isn't paying attention."
"That's scary." Fluttershy says with Rainbow yelling at the screen with how much fun she's having.
Rainbow Dash then dies to an elite with an energy sword and curses while throwing the controller at the wall and it bouncing off it and hitting Fluttershy in the face. Fluttershy is in shock. Now Fluttershy is crying. Oh shit she has a black eye. She left with Rainbow flying after her and apologizing over and over. Vash checked the controller and yeah, it's fubar.
The Three of them decided to just go to bed from all the excitement that just happened. Vash was just thinking about how they actually got there but was somewhat excited that his wish for the most part came true, he just hopes that it will be better than living on Earth.
Static like always is worried about his friends and if they are safe in this new world, doesn't seem to bad. Static has always been like the Mother of the house and keeping his ducks in order and protecting his friends and trying to keep them out of trouble. One time when Vash and Dante were drunk at a party, those two got into some beef with three other dudes who were messing with them, just being shitty dicks in general. All it took for Dante too lose his shit was one of the guys calling his mom a hore and for Vash one of the guys spat in his face. They started to fight but they were outnumbered, until Static heard it from another room and charged in. Static is the kindest guy who would never hurt a fly but when you mess with his friends, you best hope he doesn't rip your fucking head off.
They all fall asleep eventually and the night was quite.
Dante is walking down the sidewalk going to his mom's apartment. It's been a while since he's visited, maybe he should have called but whatever, it'll be a surprise for his mom if her one and only son came over for a visit. He hopes that she made pie, fuck he can go for one of his mom's pie's right now. He walks inside the complex and towards the elevators inside taking it up to the 10th floor. He doesn't understand why she moved out of your childhood home and to some apartment, I guess she couldn't live there because of the bad taste it left in her mouth because of dad. The elevator stops on the 10th floor and he walks out going to the right door. He Knocks at her door with the secret knock him and his Mom came up with when he was a kid.
The door opens and there stood his Mom, "Hey how's my most favorite Mom in the world doing?"
"Oh hey son, I wasn't expecting you." His mom says with her holding back a grimace.
"Yeah I know but I thought seeing as you love when I visit, I thought I could just come by." He says with a hinge of worry seeping through his voice.
"Well I guess you can come in, I was meaning to talk to you about something, important." she says.
"Ok sure thing." he says walking into her apartment.
He sits down on the couch in the living room. She was acting kind of strange, she's normally very jovial when he comes by to visit and gives you a hug and a kiss on the forehead. Maybe she's been having a rough time at work or maybe his Dad came by to try and get her back and ended up getting into an argument again. For some reason he feels something make him feel uneasy.
His Mom sits down on a loveseat by him "Well I wanted to talk to you about this on the phone but I guess I can do this now." she says.
"What is it Mom?" Dante asks worriedly.
Music
"I hate you." she says bluntly, "I've always despised you ever since you were born, the little hell spawn that came from your father's seed."
What? No way she just said that. No this has to be a joke, she would never says this but her words are cutting deep, and his heart is filled with sadness as those words came out her mouth with such venom.
"That's a good joke Mom, you really got me there!" He says laughing it off.
"You think this is a joke, well you should evaluate your thinking "Son" because I'm not joking you worthless little bottom feeder!" she says leaning forward in her seat.
"I've ALWAYS hated you and not a day goes by that I regret ever having you and calling you my Son!"
"Mom what are you saying..." he says with him being affrighted by what his own Mother is saying.
"You know what! I think it's time to right my wrongs!" she say getting up from the loveseat going into the kitchen. She rummages around in a drawer as Dante tries to process what is happening. She walks back into the room and stands in front of you with a crazed look smeared across her face with her arms behind her back.
It clicks in Dante's head what is happening right now. She pulls out a butcher's knife and tries to stab at you but you stand up but you fall back and knock of the couch. He keeps backing up as she gets closer.
"MOM, WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS, PLEASE STOP!" he yells out as she backs you into a wall.
"Something I should have done a long time ago!" she says in a maniacal voice.
She lunges the knife over and over missing several times as you try to dodge. She then steadies her hand for the final blow. She stabs down towards your chest but before the knife makes contact with you a blinding ray of purple light blasts through the window whipping your mother away. He looks at where the window was and a big hole in the wall show a pony blue almost violet coat and starry night hair hovering at the entrance. Everything around you slowly fades away except the two of you.
The surroundings turn into a vast field of grass covered by the light of the night sky. Dante watches looks at the mare in utter confusion.
"What is this!?" Dante asks the mare.
"You were having a nightmare, but fear not for I am here to vanquish this foul dream." The mare says with a calming voice.
"This was a dream, but it feels so... real." he says worriedly.
"This is usually how dreams are, have you never dreamed before?" she asks.
"I have but never like, this..." He continues saying, "There was always something that made it feel not real."
He thought for a second about what happened and how real it all felt, he didn't even think about everything that has happened outside of this dream, geez, he feels like he needs to see a therapist after this.
"So what's the name of the valiant hero that rescued me from that nightmare?" he asks acting like a damsel from a movie, was that an actual thing from a movie or play, fuck he doesn't know.
"My name is Pri- I mean Luna, my name is Luna." Luna says, I wonder why she hesitated on her own name oh well.
"So are your another creation of this dream of mine?" he continues, "If so your really beautiful for something that came from my head, dare I say 'alluring'." Dante says with a flirtatious grin.
Luna blushes at the flirty comment and coughs to get his attention "Anyways I'm am most definitely real, realer than anything you can come up with in your dreams." she continues "But you find me alluring, really?"
"Well I was going to say majestic but that's not nearly as flirtatious as alluring." Dante says.
"I think that both are quite 'acceptable'," she says blushing like a, well, saying tomato is wrong because she's all a blueish purple so its more like she's blushing like a blackberry... Wait no how the fuck is she blushing anyways, she's covered in fur! Whatever he's too distracted by her looks. If his mom was actually here and not a murderous psycho she would tell him to marry her on the spot but maybe in a few years. Her face is stunning in an odd way, from the ponies that you have seen she definitely out classes all of them in looks and in body. She has a slim slim waste, very nice cleavage, and he would love to be crushed in between those round supple thighs... He snaps back to reality as he hears her speak again.
"So you find me alluring well, you are quite dashing yourself, and I'd be lying if I said I didn't find you very attractive." she says in a sultry voice.
"Trying to butter me up aye? Well I'd love to see you soon in outside of this dream so we can continue this and maybe we can make it a date?" Dante asks with a smirk.
"I-I'd love that, uh..." She hesitates.
"Dante, my name is Dante." He tells Luna.
"Dante... such a wonderful name." She says, "Well it's almost time for you to wake up, but one thing before you go." she says before leaning in and giving him a kiss on the cheek.
Everything around you begins to fade and he asks "Will I ever see you again?".
"Soon, but for now, farewell Sir Dante."
Author's Note
This one was a little longer than I was hoping but I hope you enjoyed!
-Dante POV-
"So to keep my sister from making the mistake of her life with some poor excuse of a stallion I put a laxative spell on everyone of his drinks and by the end of the night at the dinner, well lets just say he made a mess everywhere!" Luna says laughing with you laughing your ass off trying to catch your breath.
It's been about two days since you've been talking too Luna in your dreams and you can't help but be surprised by how much you have connected to her. She always tells you stories about the many shenanigans she would get up to with her sister and the many pranks wars they would have with each other. I keep trying to get to know what she does in the real world but she always changes subject, must be a sensitive subject. All in you would have to say she for the most part has it all, she has smarts, she's good looking, and not too mention funny as all hell. She also has this quirk of speaking in old english, it's pretty cute in a way.
"Oh is it almost morning already?" she says in a disappointed tone, "Well I must bid you farewell Sir Dante."
"Wait can I tell you a secret?" you say gesturing for her to get close.
"I guess we still have a little bit of time left." she steps closer to you.
"Get closer, I'm gonna whisper it in your ear." you say with a smirk.
"But we're alone why would you-" you cut her off.
"Just get closer Luna." she rolls her eyes in annoyance, well she's going to be surprised with what your going to tell her.
You lean in close as you whisper in her ear "I think I'm starting to fall for you Luna." and you give her a kiss on her cheek as everything around you starts to fade.
"WHAT!?" she yells out.
"And by the way Luna, just call me Dante, ok?" you say as everything turns black.
*BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP*
You wake up as you take your alarm clock and throw it at the wall in front of your bed as you hear the beeping start to fade as it stops its infernal beeping. You jump out of bed with your boxers and xxl t-shirt that is way too big for you and socks still on. As you stumble your way to the door you can't help but think about Luna, you wonder if your relationship will actually be well, more one day. Well first you'll have to actually meet her in person, for all you know she could very well be someone your dream made, but who knows, you sure don't.
Wait what were you doing again, oh right going down the stairs, with socks on. Ok now you just slipped and are rolling down the stair.
"FUCK AgH GAh SHIT AAAAH!" you finish eating shit down the stairs as you lay on the ground. Curse you socks not having good traction on hardwood stairs, you really make life not fucking easier.
You lie on the ground regretting not getting carpet on those damn stairs as you see Static looking down at you. "I think I can see all three of your chins from down here Static." you say.
"Stop fuckin around and get up we need to get ready to see the Princesses." Static say with stern voice but keeping his motherly smile, it always seems to make you feel very uneasy when he does that.
Background
You get up and walk in and you see the Vash watching the TV and Static going into the kitchen to make breakfast.
"A Shinigami huh." the TV Plays, "You know, my wife's got a friend who knows all about that, 'Spirits of Death' she calls 'em, Really scary stuff." Columbo continues as you speak up.
"More Columbo I see." you say kinda getting tired of watching columbo.
"Well I wanted to binge watch the show since we don't have the internet, or cable so, Columbo." Vash said going back to watching the TV.
"Oh I hope the Detective gets that Light Yagami." you hear Fluttershy's voice besides Vash. Wait there are they all here.
You see the all the Elements of Harmony sitting on the couch next to Vash. They are all talking about that episode and what might happen next. They should all know that Columbo always catches the killer, for some reason Rainbow Dash thinks that Light will get away with it and find out Columbo's full name but that asshole can't outsmart Columbo, it's fucking Columbo!
"Good Morning Dante, how did yo-" Twilight cuts herself off as she sees that you in your underwear. Rarity shoots you coy smile and the rest just kept on stairing with fluttershy ogling through her bangs.
"Ok enough looking and more eating, eggs and toast." Static say then looks too you, "And here's yours sunny side up." Static says with a smile, you can tell he's acting like it's weird to like the yolk.
After your done eating Twilight speaks coughs a little and speaks up "You guys should probably get ready to see the Princesses."
"Well I guess we have to dress up for this so let's dress nice guys." you instantly turn your head to glare at Vash since he always wears baggy shirts with small holes in them and jeans with more noticeable holes in them.
"What? I'll dress nice!" Vash says.
"If you don't me and Static are gonna put you in the 80's prom king costume." you say with Static nodding in approval.
"Fuck me..." Vash says with you knowing that he doesn't have any nice clothes available.
If there is anything you want to see most, its seeing Vash in that cheesy, frilly, suit on an otherwise serious looking dude.
You and your friends go to your rooms and get dressed. You put on a white turtleneck and black chinos with the star socks and black suede oxford boots, and the final piece to your outfit is a black bomber jacket with stars lining the inside of the jacket, and for a final part of your outfit you put on your crescent moon earrings. You might have taken inspiration from Luna a bit. You then put your hair in a ponytail with your bangs swept off your face.
You go down stairs and you find Static wearing a fleece truckers jacket with a collarless button down shirt with some khaki chinos and sneakers, nice. You hear footsteps coming from upstairs and what comes down is a black suit wearing Vash and he's surprisingly pulling it off but if anything it's a little more business formal than our outfits but it'll do.
"Well you've gotten out of wearing that suit, but next time you won't be so lucky..." you say giving a devilish smile.
"Fuck off." Vash says scratching the back of his head putting a cigarette in his mouth. He takes out his lighter and tries to light it but it just puts out sparks. "Oh for fucks sake." he says.
You pull out your flip lighter and light his cigarette. Vash gives a small thanks as he takes a drag from the cigarette.
"Well don't you all look fantastic, well not what I would have chosen for you but that's neither here nor there." Rarity says.
"Yes and I'm sure Princess Luna will love you outfit Dante!" Twilight says.
"What, wait she's one of your princess's?" you say kinda mad but also not surprised, she did have a crown.
"Have you met her before?" Twilight asks.
"Well yeah um, hehe well in my dreams really." you say out loud awkwardly.
"Ok well we should get going before the train gets to the station." Twilight says with everyone nodding in agreement.
You all leave the house to the station and you think about Luna. She's a princess, you know maybe you can find a way to work something out with her. Princess or not, this isn't going to stop you from trying to get her.
-Vash's POV-
Music
You and your chums are on the train with the six ponies looking out the window enjoying the sites of this new world you've found yourself in. You think about the times in ponyville that you actually went out to go get some groceries with Twilight and you saw that a lot of the ponyville's residents were female.
"Hey Twily, can I ask you something?" you say.
"Sure Vash, what did you need?" Twilight says turning her head slightly.
"I was wondering why I barely saw any guys-" your cut off by Twilight.
"Colts." she says correcting you.
"Yeah right so why didn't I see any 'colts' in ponyville, of course there was Big Mac but that's kind of an exception."
"Well that's because most of our population is dominated by mare's Vash, is that not how it is on your world?" Twilight asks.
"No actually it's pretty much 50/50."
"Interesting, I'll have to know more about your world." she says as she pulls out a notepad and a pen.
"Maybe Dante and Static would like-" Twilight says before being cut off by Dante.
"Leave me out of it." Dante says looking back slightly from his seat.
"Ditto." Static says with you getting a very strange feeling from the both of them, they look on edge, you wonder-
*BLAM* *PEW* *BLAM* *PEW*
"Everypony down on the ground, this is a stick up!" a stallion says with a balaclava with another stallion horn blasting the top of the train car. Well this is interesting. You guess your getting robbed now I hope... Wait why are Dante and Static getting up.
Author's Note
Hope you like this chapter, been busy lately but there should be another chapter soon... Hopefully.
-Dante POV-
Music
You stand up with Static following with you. "Just like old times." you whisper to Static.
"Shut it and concentrate Dante." Static says sternly to you.
"Ok, ok," you say in a calming tone. "Hey scumbags, do you have anything better to do then rob people."
"Guy's, what are you doing!" Vash yells out at the both of you, you look nervously at him.
"Takin care of the problem sweetheart." you blow him a kiss and Vash swats it off as if a pair of lips was flying towards him.
"Well what are you standing there for boy's, are we gonna throw down or are you just gonna stand there or are you gonna keep scarin these people." you say with a smug grin plastered on your face.
That is when one of the very pissed off unicorns blast a magic bolt from their horn and you move your head slightly to dodge it and you run over and take him by the horn as he prepares another blast. You then notice a large fist coming in your direction and you duck with Static catching his fist and pulling him in for a headbutt. You pop back up with the other guys horn still in your grip and you lead his head directly to your knee knocking him out. As that guy was done, The bigger one gets up clearly pissed and throws a couple of punches with one landing at your chest and sending you flying down the aisle. Static gets punched in the face and his nose starts to bleed and punches him in the stomach landing blow for blow but it's not doing much against the brick wall of a stallion. While they trade blows you start to get back up.
You notice that Static is kinda getting his ass handed to him so why not lend him a hand. You get in your running stance and take off down the aisle. You gain enough speed to where you can land the attack on this behemoth and you yell out.
"STATIC! GET DOWN!" and at the last second a foot away from the large pony, you jump up and double kick the asshole in the face making him fall back. As the Unicorn wakes up he looks up above to see the brick wall of a stallion falling towards him and screams out in terror. With a big thud and some cracking sounds they are both down for the count.
"Fuck me dude..." you say exhausted
"Stop complaining man, I took all the hits from that guy." Static said getting up.
"Does anyone have any rope or something to restrain these idiots!" you said with applejack piping up.
"I sure do Sugarcube, I'll hog tie these stallions in no time!"
"Thanks Applejack." Static said placing the two on the seat in the back of the cabin.
"No problem Sugarcube."
"Where the hell did you guys learn to fight like that?" Vash asks very surprised at the display the two of you had just shown. All the girls were surprised as well getting some high praise from Applejack and Rainbow Lesbian (you might call her this but you don't feel like getting into another fight right now).
"When you moved after middle school, me and Static learned a few thing you know." you tell him sheepishly.
"We are definitely going to talk about this later." Vash tells the both of you.
As you look nervously at Vash your attention is caught "Oh were here everypony!"
Your eyes gaze upon the city and the castle that you've seen when you and your friends first got here. It was a lot more beautiful up close than it is from far away. A castle that would make the goths of medieval europe cry if they ever laid eyes upon its sprawling towers and opposing majesty. You aren't one to live in a castle or be treated like royalty but you could probably get used to it if you had to live here.
You take a look at the two stallions that are knocked out in the back of the cabin where you made sure to make them look like they were kissing each other.
"OK let's get these two love birds." You tells Static with a grin.
"Yeah the police are gonna want to have a chat with us 'bout them."
You nod picking up the smaller one with the horn out the car with Static following behind having some trouble keeping the stallion on his shoulders. You, Vash, and all the technicolor pony human hybrids in between walk out of the train car and are greeted by some ponies in some Greek/Roman type armor and tunics. One of them is Mare guard that looks like she is of a higher rank than the Male guard on the side of her.
You were staring at the two eyeing they're details when the higher rank guard speaks up "Hello and welcome to Canterlot, My name is Major Ivory Arrow and this is Lieutenant Smokey and we will be escorting you to the castle for your meeting with the princesses today and..." she pauses seeing the two knocked out stallions being carried by you and Static, "Why do you carrying those unconscious stallions?"
"Oh, they tried to rob the people everyone on the train but we took care of em in no time flat." you say with a cocky tone and a grin.
"Well good work civilians, we could use some stallions who can get the job done, SMOKEY!" she yells out
"Standing right here ma'am."
"Take these two down to the station."
"Yes ma'am Major Ivory Arrow..." Smokey says feeling the despair of dragging these two all the way. Poor guy, he had to be at least half a foot smaller than you.
"Anyways We have a carriage waiting upfront, now let's move!"
Music
You get in the large carriage with the others and Ivory Arrow tells the ponies to start pulling the carriage towards the castle. You watch as you see the city and the ponies walking on the sidewalks and in the shops and all the restaurants. You can see where all the rich snobs are because most of these ponies have their heads up so high you could probably get a good look at their brain and your surprised that none of them have ran into a pole yet, weird.
Your kind of excited to see Luna and to meet her all famous sister Tia but you look to your right to see Vash is sweating looking nervous. He must be shitting himself thinking that maybe the princesses will luck us up or banish us for possibly being a danger to the ponies here but he's always been the worrywart of us since we were kids.
He looks like a dude that you wouldn't want to fuck with but that's pretty much the opposite, he just never had a situation to ever show that to anyone else because he's a loner who rarely gets close to anyone outside of his family nor the friends he's already made. You've tried for the past few years to try to get him to meet someone else but everytime he spills his spaghetti and fucks it up, can't blame him though do to his helicopter parents never letting him live his own life. It was a god send when his parents let him move in with us to go to college, they never really like you but always like Static because of his protective nature.
Some of the ponies are looking at the carriage seeing you and your friends giving strange looks. It was like that for the most part in ponyville but from the ponies here, they look like the might faint. You think that humans aren't that different from ponies aside from not having big ol eyes, a muzzle, not having fur on our entire bodies, a tail, horse legs, being multicolored, you know everything one of these ponies has and a human doesn't.
You arrive at the castle and step out of the carriage as you and your friends step up to the entrance gate and are greeted by two guards mares blocking the gate.
"Halt! Do you all have permission to come into the castle?" one of the guard mares asks.
"They are with me to go see the Princesses." Major Ivory Arrow tells the guard with Twilight stepping up besides her.
"Yes we need to see the Princesses for council."
"Alright then, open the gate!" the guard yells to the other guards and open the golden gates.
You walk to the large doors of the castle when you and your fellows are stopped by the guards "Hey studs, maybe when your done seeing the Princesses you all could come to the bar with us." she says slapping Vash on the but and looking 'thirsty'.
The other guard pipes up, "Yeah maybe after the bar we can all do something 'fun'."
Vash face starts to look like a cherry tomato as he stutters rapidly and you put your arm around his should "Yeah sorry girls, we'll be leaving right after our visit so maybe next time." you give a wink to the two and walk away with them giggling as you walk away.
"Hey guys it that normal?" Vash asks to the 6.
Rainbow swoops behind Vash hovering over his shoulder "Oh yeah dude, your lucky those were guards on duty!" she says getting closer to Vash's ear, "If it were any other mare, they would do something way worse than that..." she says as she burst out in laughter in seeing Vash's look on his face as you join in with her.
"But all jokin' aside, you guys probably should watch out." she says with a straight face.
You both give a surprised look and look at each other and decide to give an awkward laugh and continue walking down the hall. Holy hell is it a long walk, if you didn't have someone to guide you down the halls, you don't think you could actually make it to your destination. Not to mention the looks from some of the guards are giving you lot walking down all the halls, they were mixed from looking very disgusted upon seeing you three to all the mares looking lustful or slightly uneasy.
You all manage to make it to the entrance of the throne room after what seemed like an hour of walking as the guards at attention look at the Major and give a nod to and they open the door revealing the throne room and Major Ivory Arrow walks in front of your group.
"Your Majesties, I have arrived with your guest that you wanted to see!"
"Thank you Major for bringing them to us safely." The white multicolored mane alicorn says in which you can safely assume that this is Celestia.
Major Ivory Arrow steps to the side and snaps into parade rest as you, your friends, and the six ponies step forward. The six bow and Static smacks the both you and Vash to bow and you do as such.
You look up as you notice right besides Celestia is the Goddess of the Night, Luna sits on the throne next to her. She's just as beautiful as when you first saw her in your dreams and wow, she is even more majestic in person. She catches you looking at her and she blushes and turns her head to the side, yeah you like it here already. Celestia notices her sister's blushing and gets a dumb smile on her face and she then snaps back to you lot. Celestia eyes the three of you a bit before speaking guess she didn't get a good look the first time.
"Thank you all for coming and when I heard that some 'humans' have arrived to our world." she continues "But my question is how you got and if you might pose a threat?"
"A threat?" you ask surprised but a little frightened, it seems that caught Luna's attention too.
"We have had many threats to equestria and we just want to be cautious." she asks
"Princess if I may, I don't think they are a possible threat, and to prove it they actual prevented a robbery on the train ride over to Canterlot." Twilight exclaims.
"Oh really now, that's quite brave of you three and please can you tell me your names." Celestia asks with a motherly glow surrounding her.
"Uh, my name is Vash."
"Static your Majesty."
"The name is Dante Tia."
Celestia's eyes narrow with a the smile slipping a little, Luna snickers a little bit at that too, "Dante if you may please just call me Celestia."
"Uh sure thing Celestia." you say a little confused, you guess that's a Luna thing only then.
"Now how did you all found yourself in equestria?" Celestia says whipping away her annoyance.
"I think is was because of a wish I made the night we got here miss." Vash tells the princess.
"Anything else?" Luna asks raising an eyebrow.
"Nothing we could have seen, we went to sleep right after he made it." Static says in a relaxed voice.
"Well if that's it then it was nice meeting you three and it is fair to say that you don't pose harm to Equestria and my little ponies."
"And I make you official citizens as well, and there for welcome to Equestria!"
She walks to Twilight to talk to her and her friends and now you can talk to Luna. She walks past you and goes out the door she looks back at you and smiles. She nods her head to tell you to follow.
"Hey guys I'm gonna go explore the castle a bit."
"Ok man don't get lost." Static says giving a small wave. You turn around and goto follow Luna to god knows what.
You catch up to Luna in the hall. Your walking for a good bit until you find that your at the entrance of garden. A rather large garden at that, full of animals and plants, its awe inspiring. Luna walks over to a bench and pats the vacant spot next to her. You sit down next to Luna and you both look up to the sky at the sunset. You sit there until you see Luna's horn lights up with a purple aura as you see the start to replace the sun that still lingered in the sky, the star's shined in the night and you can see all the space dust that gives the night the most color.
Music
"So what were you doing with your horn?"
"I was raising the moon and bringing forth the night." she said in a matter of fact manner.
"So you really do control the night, I thought you were just bluffing but then again, you can access the dreams of others so I guess I have to believe you."
"Well what do you think?" she asks with you staring into into her eyes.
"Lovely."
"Stop it Dante, I meant the night." she said blushing.
"Just as beautiful as the one who made it." you said with her blushing even harder and tries to change the subject.
"I see your outfit is night themed, It looks rather dashing on you."
"Well I was inspired by a certain pony." you give a small smile.
"I especially love you're earrings." she said holding the crescent moon earring in her hand as to not accidentally yank on it.
"Thanks it really ties it all together."
"You also look very striking, I can tell you take good care of yourself." she said moving her hand to your face caressing it a bit with her thumb. You blush a little at that, you've heard women say that before but never to the sincerity that she has. There something different about her, besides the fact that she is of a different race and also one of the main ruler's of this new world. Wait how did that slip your mind right now, she's a princess.
"So, when were you going to tell me you were a princess?"
"Well Dante, we wanted for you to get to know us a little better-"
"And you wanted me to treat you like a normal pony?" you said with Luna nodding to confirm what you said was true, "You really didn't need to do that."
"Why?" she said leaning her head questioningly.
"I really don't care for higher authority you could say, and I would say that it's true considering you are pretty much a goddess."
"Right..." she said looking like she just did something stupid.
You can't blame her. She probably hasn't had a real conversation with anyone except for her sister. Couldn't imagine running a kingdom either, seems like you don't get to have too much fun.
You let out a little chuckle and say, "I know exactly what my mom would say if she would see you and me right now."
"What would that be Dante?" she asks smiling and looking at you with her stunning blue-ish green eyes.
"She'd probably tell me to marry you."
Luna has a shocked expression on her face as she says, "Really, we don't think that we are all to worthy to get married."
"Maybe someday Luna." you said with Luna giving you a loving smile.
"Can we learn more about your mother, she sound very intelligent."
"Sure, I'll tell you all about her..."
Author's Note
Hope you enjoyed! If you have any tips on writing would help a lot. Thank you and goodbye.
-Static's POV-
"Twilight, your curiosity is always one to be desired, but maybe that's enough questions for today."
Twilight looks up from her notebook and looks at Static with a sad expression on her face, " But I haven't gotten to the good questions yet!"
"We need to get home Twilight. Questions can wait for another time."
Vash walks up to you, visibly tired, and grabs your shoulder, "We need to get outta here man, I can feel my face start to melt." he looks like he might be having a stroke on both sides of his face.
"Ok, we need to find Dante and get out of here, oh and thank you, Princess Celestia, for speakin with us," you say, bowing at the ruler of Equestria with her acknowledging your words.
"Vash, do you know where Dante is?" you ask the barely awake Vash as he opens his mouth.
"I think he went somewhere with Princess Luna, maybe."
"I might have an idea as to where they might be, Sir Static..." Celestia pipes up.
"That would be really kind of you if you can lead me to them, and for all of you, let's meet up at the gate. Everyone nods in agreement as you and Celestia walk out of the room to wherever they might be.
It's been a couple of minutes since you left the throne room, and you both finally find your destination. It's a garden, a really majestic one at that.
"So, this is the place."
Celestia nods her head, "Yes, she usually comes here to raise the moon and enjoy the scenery."
"Ok, but wherein the garden are they-" you stop yourself as you hear a female voice giggling and making some rather lewd sounds off in the distance. You and Celestia look at each other, smirk at each other, face in the direction, and head over towards the sounds.
You both walk behind a bench finding Luna getting tickled by Dante... Well, that's not what you were expecting. Both you and Celestia Clear your throats as they both stand at attention with panicked looks on their faces.
"Sister!" Luna blurts out to Celestia.
"Uh, hey Static hehe," Dante says scratching the back of his head.
"We need to get going man, the next train to Ponyville arrives in an hour," you say with your arms crossed with a big fat grin on your face.
Dante nods his head, and both Luna and Dante say their goodbyes awkwardly, and you both head to the entrance with Dante not speaking.
"So you and Princess Luna, huh."
"It's not like that, well, at least not yet." Dante looks out the window as he continues, "I kinda want to take it slow, yuh know, build up things first and then get to that point."
"Wow, you must be really serious about her then."
He turns around to you and says, "Yeah, I guess you could say that."
-A Week Later-
You look inside the fridge, and you find the pleasant sight of a jar of olives, a couple of condiments, and a carton of milk that expired about a month ago. You really need to go shopping but the bits that Twilight gave you for shopping was not enough for a week of food. This means one thing you guys need to get jobs.
Background
"Tenpenny has to be one of the worst antagonists in GTA, goofy-ass mother fucker." Dante spouts out.
Vash playing responds with, "Fuck off."
"Are there nicer antagonists?" Fluttershy asks Dante and Vash.
"Not really like that Flutts, it's more like towards intimidation and them doing bad things," Dante responds.
"Oh, ok..."
"Guys, we need to find jobs." you cut their conversation off, "We ran out of the bits."
"Oh, if you need jobs, there is always a job board at town hall... if you want to check it out." Fluttershy hides behind her main, "If you want..."
"Thanks Fluttershy, you good," you say with Fluttershy looking at you with a soft smile.
"Ok, turn off the game, and let's go see that job board."
As you say, Vash throws the controller to the ground as he fails the mission in the game.
"FUCK YOU, BIG SMOKE! FAT TUB OF LARD!" he says this as he gets up and grabs his coat, and walks out of the house. You and Dante follow behind as Fluttershy waves you off and flies over in another direction, probably back to her cottage.
The lot of you make your way towards town hall and find the job board. You see a bunch of jobs, but none catch your eyes, but you might as well go and get an interview from some of them with Dante looking the same way, but Vash looks at one of the papers on the board for an open position at a bar. He worked at a bar for a while when you were back on until a bar fight broke out. He said he tried to break up the fight but made the mistake of getting in between a fistfight and getting punched square in the face from both sides. Vash promptly quit after that.
"You might as well do it, Vash." Dante speaks up, "The ponies here are more peaceful and won't clobber you in the face!" Dante laughs at his own joke, and you plant a fist at the top of his head with him recoiling from the pain.
"Ok, I guess I'll go check it out. I hope you guys find something you like; well, maybe tolerate is the word for it." Vash walks away towards the bar's location as you two go your separate ways to find some jobs of your own.
-Vash's POV-
Ok, so the flyer said that the bar is on Stirrup Street, so maybe you should walk and look around. You don't feel like talking to anyone right now; every time you asked someone for directions before, they would give you some retarded directions and end up lost, especially in the city, and try to ask for more directions and end up more lost than you already were so you might as well use your sense of direction to get around.
As you walk along the sidewalk, you see a building with a neon sign with The Stable written in fancy lettering and a winking cartoon pony in the middle of The and Stable. You guess that most places have a horse-related pun as their store name. It makes no sense because, on earth, we don't have human puns for the name of any of our establishments, but that really doesn't matter; what matters is that you need a job that pays good and that's moderately safe.
You walk inside with a bell ringing as you go in. The mare at the counter cleaning a glass with a cloth speaks up, "We're closed right now come back at noon-" she pauses as she looks up. "Oh, you must be one of those 'hoo-mans' that arrived in town recently; well, we're closed if you are wanting a drink."
The mare's coat is a medium-dark shade of red, like a lighter shade of maroon. Her mane is a dark pale orange color, with her eyes a honey color. She wears a long-sleeved button-up the same color as her mane with the sleeves rolled up with it buttoned down enough to show an off-white tank top with a little bit of her cleavage. From all the ponies you've seen so far, she must be the tallest, maybe the same height as Luna, probably the second tallest in all of Equestria, with Celesta being the first. She is also pretty muscular, reaching almost the same amount of bulk that Big Mac has from what you've seen.
As you look around the bar, you see the regular round tables made out of wood with chairs put on top. The bar walls are lined with booths that seat different amounts of ponies, with a stage at the corner of the bar with a drum set and some speakers. They must have some live bands that play here; that would be pretty nice.
"Hey, if you done starrin', I'd like to ask you to leave," she says with a resolute look on her face.
You shake your head to snap yourself out of your mind, "Oh sorry, I actually saw a flyer that you were hiring, and I came by to see if you would want to hire me."
"Oh yeah, I almost forgot about that; go ahead and sit down, and I'll interview stranger." She put the glass and cloth away and gestured towards a stool by the counter.
You sit down, and she comes from the back of the counter and sits on a stool next to you. She gives you a good look over and speaks up.
"So what's your stanger?"
"Vash."
"That's a pretty good name." she shoots you a smile.
"Thanks."
She crosses her arms and legs, "Do you have any experience working at a bar before?"
You look at her as she towers over you even when she is sitting down, "I worked at a bar when I was back in my world for about a year and a half."
"Have you ever had to break up a fight before and kick someone out before?"
You've kicked people out of a bar before, but you think back to the last time you tried to break up a fight, you might as well, "Yes, I have."
She mulls over your answers and looks back to you, "Well, if what you say is true, then you can consider yourself hired!"
"Thank you, but I never got your name ma'am?" you say, looking at the large mare.
"Brandy, Brand Snap," she says, lending her hand over to you for a handshake.
You give her a handshake, "Well, thank you for the job Miss Snap."
"Miss Snap is my mom's name. Just call me Brandy!"
"Ok, Brandy, when do I start?" you say, arching your eyebrow.
"Tomorrow at noon, it's gonna get pretty busy, and I'll need the help."
You both get off your stools, and she waves you off as you walk out of the cozy bar. You hope you can remember all drinks to make.
-Dante's POV-
You walk back to town hall tired of all the places you had to go, and every single one, they said no. You guess that ponies aren't used to seeing humans yet and are too afraid to have one on payroll scaring off customers. You see Static walk up with a frustrated look on his face. You think to yourself, 'He must have had the same luck you have'.
"You couldn't get one either," Static says, leaning against the wall beside you.
"Yup..."
"I hope Vash got the bar job at least."
You shrug, "Or he got turned down flat."
"Be more positive Dante, Oh look, he's coming back," he says, pointing at Vash approaching with a smile on his face.
"I guess you got the job, lucky bastard..."
Vash walks up and puts his hands on his sides, puffing out his chest, "You bet your sweet ass I did!"
"Dante, why don't you ask Rarity for a job at her boutique? You like fashion, right?" Vash says, looking at you inquisitively.
"Yeah, but she probably isn't there right now. She might be off getting a manicure or some shit like that..."
"Oh, that would be a fabulous idea darling!" a voice right next to you exclaims.
You shoot up, looking where the voice came from, and you see Rarity with a sultry smile. She came out of nowhere! You see Vash giggling a bit, and the bastard knew she was right there. He did that to scare me.
"From what I've seen you wear, I can tell that you have a knack for fashion," she says, wiping her mane out of the way.
"You think? I don't know how to make clothes, you know."
"I can always teach you, Darling, but the main question is do you know how to draw and color?" she asks.
"Yeah, of course, I do."
"Alrighty then, you're hired."
"When do I get to work?" you ask, giving her a sly smirk.
"Now!" Rarity says, pulling you away to the boutique.
"I guess I'll see you guys at the house! Happy hunting, Static!" you say as she pulls you away.
You hope he finds something eventually.
[Insert Chapter Title Here]
-Static's POV-
You walk down the market street, and you can't help but be a little jealous that your friends got jobs and you can't find one. You're happy for them, but it's the same as it was on Earth, and the job you had there was pretty much put on your lap by Dante.
You start to notice that the usually bustling market with ponies is empty. It's not night yet, and even so, there are at least a few ponies still out and about. You see a figure in a cloak walking towards. Maybe they know all this is about, or perhaps they are the reason for everypony disappearing. You decide to confront them about it rather than just standing in the middle of the street.
"Hey, do you know where everypony is? It's like a ghost town."
The cloaked figure stops dead in its tracks. It digs up some of the dirt with its hoof and reaches down in the soil. It pulls out what looks to be a root and places back the dugged up Earth.
You walk closer to them, "Hey, what are you doing?"
It pulls back its hood and reveals itself. She a Zebra, well at least you think it's a she.
"I'm digging up the roots that cause trouble, and the ponies around me seem to scuttle," she says with a rhyme.
"Oh right, I guess they aren't used to seeing you; maybe you should try not to wear a cloak around," you say, "Seems kinda suspicious."
"Your words seem true, so perhaps it comes off as rude."
"Maybe a little, but hey, do you know anypony who might hire me," you continue, "Most don't want me because of how different I am." you scratch the back of your head with a defeated expression. Maybe she might know someone who might take me.
"I might have a job for you; it's always helpful to have the power of two."
"Really? Well, I hope I'd be useful to you," you walk alongside her as you ask a crucial question, "Why do you speak in rhymes? I bet it gets tiring speaking that way."
"I usually speak this way, but yes, it gets tiring from speaking like this day to day." she continues saying, "My name is Zecora. What might your name be?"
"The name's Static." you both shake hands as you walk off.
Besides speaking in rhymes, you think that working with Zecora will be an interesting experience... Wait, did she break rhyme.
-Vash's POV-
-The Morning After-
The sun's rays grace your room with its light, and you hate it. Every morning and you still can't get used to it. As you get up, you realize that you have a job now, no more playing video games for the rest of the day, drinking, then going back to sleep. Well, now that you think about it, it sounds pretty pathetic.
You get out of bed and get dressed in your most excellent button-down shirt and a tie loosely around the collar with some chinos and your dress shoes. You head downstairs and go to the kitchen—nothing like eating cereal dry to start the day. As you munch on your cereal, you notice Dante and Static watching TV. Not just a movie or one of the DVDs on the shelf but actual TV.
"How are you guys watching cable?"
Dante looks at you, "I went to twilight, and she managed to get some ponies to get cable."
"Anything good?"
"Nah, just pony weird pony TV shows, the news, and pony version of shows from Earth."
"Like what?"
"There's Breaking Bad, but it's more like a parody than anything," he looks back at the TV as he continues, "But the guy who does Jesse Pinkman is fucking hilarious."
"I doubt that."
"Say what you want, man," Dante looks at the clock and gets up from the couch, "Welp, I'm off to Rarity's; she wanted me to give her some ideas for some clothing line."
"Sure thing, man."
Static waves him off as he leaves the house.
"So what job did you get, Static?" you say, putting a handful of cereal in your mouth.
"Oh yeah, after leaving town hall, I met a zebra lady, her names Zecora and she's some kind of witch doctor."
"That sounds like your helping her scam people, like witch doctors in New Orleans," you say with a raised eyebrow.
"No, she's the real deal; I've had one of her potions, made my skin glow," Static says in a serious tone.
"Oh, so she got rid of your dry skin and acne?" you say in a smug tone.
"No, my skin glowed; I was a human night light for an hour." he chuckles to himself.
"Ok, ok, maybe she's not a scam artist, but the real question is, what do you do?"
"I'm pretty much her muscle, and she also mentioned getting ingredients for her potions and also going into town with her to get things."
You scratch your chin and you stroke your beard inquisitively. "So you're her husband but without any of the benefits, but your getting paid," you think over your statement more, "Oh, you actually skipped to the having kids and just being reliable."
"Shut it, Vash, but honestly, that makes my job sound a lot better."
"I guess; when are you going anyways."
Static gets up from the couch, grabs his duffle bag, and heads to the door. "Right now, actually."
"Let me guess, and you're going early?"
"Of course I am. She gave me a time, and being early is better than being on time!" he says with a wink.
"Sure, sure, be safe."
"Always am!" Static opens the door and walks out waving to you.
Well, since you are already done with your cereal, you might as well watch Trigun for the 50th time...
Shit, shit, shit. You knew you shouldn't have watched that fuckin show; you looked at the clock when you started watching. It was 11:15, and as soon as you got to the third episode was on it was 1:45. So now you're rushing through Ponyville to get to the bar! You make your way down the sidewalk and bust through the door of the bar.
"Sorry I'm late I was..." you pause for a second, and you look around the bar, and no one, not a single person. You think back to when Static and Dante were sitting down that morning and, Static, the son of a bitch was fiddling with the clock! He's done this before with you and Dante, changing the time on the clock to make us freak out and hurry up so we'd get somewhere early.
You hear footsteps... Hoof steps? Whatever, you hear horse clipping coming from a hallway on the side of the counter, and you see Brandy Snap.
"Hi-ya Vash, your here pretty early," she says with a curious tone in her voice.
You rub the back of your neck, "Yeah, well, I just wanted to be... Punctual, yuh know."
"That's pretty good of you to do that cus I was needin' some extra help setting up everything before I open, " Brandy heads over to one of the tables and puts down one of the chairs and tucks it under the table, "Gonna help?"
"Of course I will, Brandy."
Author's Note
Sorry for not being able to make a new chapter for a while. I have been busy with school, so I couldn't write another and didn't have any ideas on what to write for this chapter, so I hope you enjoy it!
Bartender (feat. Akon)
"Hey, Human! Get me another Whiskey on the rocks!" A routy bar patron yells out.
"Yes, sir." as you mix the drink, you think to yourself, 'Wow, this type of guy exists everywhere, I guess."
As you give the stallion his drink, the doors to the bar open, and two figures emerge from the doorway. It's Rarity and Dante walking in with a style and flair. As soon as they notice me, they come directly to the counter and sit on the bar stools.
"Sup dude, how's work goin for yuh?" Dante says with a smirk.
"I heard from ponies around town who worked here that Brandy Snap would always give them a hard time. Is that true?" Rarity asked.
"From when I got the job and started working, the only pony that has given any problems are the patrons. If not, she's been nothing but nice to me."
"Heh, maybe she likes you!" Dante says with Rarity giggling at his joke.
"Funny, now do you want a drink or not?"
"Make me a bloody mary, extra spicy."
"And for me, darling, a glass of Chardonhay."
You take the bottle of Chardonhay off the shelf behind you and get a wine glass. You put down the glass in front of Rarity and uncork the bottle and pour it into the glass. You go to cork it and put it back on the shelf, but Rarity stops you.
"Leave the bottle, Darling."
You put the bottle back down on the counter. You get a glass cup off the shelf and set it down with some ice in the glass and put some ice into a shaker. You get some lemon and lime wedges, squeeze them into the shaker, and drop them in. You pour vodka, tomato juice, tobacco, Worcestershire, and some seasoning into the shaker. You shake the shaker to ensure everything is well mixed and strain the contents in the glass. You spear two olives on a toothpick and set some pickled okra and jalapenos. You set down the glass in front of Dante, and Rarity looks at him.
"I didn't think you would be the person to like bloody marey's Darling," she said with a playful grin.
"I like the taste, it doesn't get me drunk too fast, and you can have it either midday or night, plus I like the kick that it gives. Not everyone likes it, but I do." he take a sip of the drink and lets out a sigh with 'nice' slipping from his lips.
"It beat having a beer." He continues.
You decide to leave them to their conversation and go to help some other bar patron when, out of the corner of your eye. You see a familiar-looking stallion that's down in the dumps, you've noticed him before ever since he walked in and wanted to talk to him to see what was wrong, you know, usual barkeeper duties, but he just ordered apple cider then took his drink to one of the corner booths ordering another every so often. You know what you should do.
"Hey Brandy! I'm gonna take a break, ok?"
"Sure, I'll look over the counter!" she yelled out from the back room.
You pour apple cider into two mugs, one for yourself and another for the poor sap. You walk towards the small stallion, and once you reach him, you put down his mug.
"Mind if I have a seat here?"
"Uh, sure, I don't mind."
You sit across from him, and you notice he looks tired as well when you remember something. This stallion looks a lot like that one guard from Canterlot. What was his name? It's on the tip of your tongue... Smokey, I think, well it wouldn't hurt to ask.
"Hey, your name wouldn't happen to be Smokey, would it?"
Surprised, he looks up at you and asks, "Yes, how do you know my name?"
"We met at Canterlot when I and some friends went to see the princesses."
"Oh yeah, I remember you now." he says, then continues, "I've just been a little distracted; otherwise, I would have probably realized it sooner."
"It's no problem, and I wanted to ask why you look so down; something happens?"
"No! Well yeah, I mean, it." he lets out a long sigh, "It's complicated..."
"Well, come on, I'm all ears; I might even be able to help you." you take a drink from your mug.
"I kind of have a crush on somepony, and I don't know if I could or even if I should tell her..."
"Ok, well, you should probably-" your cut off as he continues.
"I wish she could notice me more; it's like I don't even matter!"
"If that's the problem, then I think you should-" you're cut off again as he says
"She always goes out with those other stallions, but they don't see her as I do! She's so damn smart, and her laugh is so contagious that it can make an entire room laugh with her, and the way she walks with the sway of her hips, her smile," he lists off a few other things too that are oddly specific and continues with, "The way she fights and holds her spear."
Wait, what.
"And also the way she bosses me around!"
Ok, you gotta stop this love-struck fool, "Smokey!"
"Oh, uh, sorry." his face is now plastered with embarrassment.
"Maybe you should start hanging around Major Ivory more outside of work and become friends with her and getting to know her and then telling her how you feel." his face is now beet red with surprise.
"H-how did you know it was the Major?"
"The last two things you listed off gave me the impression."
He looks down, letting out an 'oh' then looking back at you, "Do you think that would work?"
"Trust me, and I know it will work. Just try and get to know her and let her get to know you, ok?"
"Yeah, ok, thank you for the advice!" he drinks the rest of the cider, places some bits on the table, and heads out of the bar.
"Go get her tiger!" you yell to him.
"I will, and thanks!"
I'd say a job well done; you head back to the bar with the now empty mugs and place the bits into the register. I hope Smokey can manage to get Ivory; you'll have to go to Canterlot again and see if he did it. As you look around, you notice all the bar patrons leaving as the night comes to a close, with some having trouble walking out. You start to clean up all the cups, and Brandy walks up to you.
"Well, it's the end of your first night here; how do you feel?" she says, leaning on the other side of the counter with both arms crossed, unknowingly puffing out her breasts.
You blush at the sight as you answer, "It definitely could have been worst, but I guess it's not one of the crazier nights."
"Well, you got that right, say whenever we're done, why don't I walk you home?"
Weird, why would she walk you home? Shouldn't it be the other way around? It doesn't matter; you could get to know her either way, so why not.
"Uhm, sure, boss."
"DON'T call me boss, ok," she says seriously.
"Yes, ma'am"
"Don't push your luck."
"Ok, Brandy." You laugh a little as you clean up the rest of the bar.
Brandy puts the key in the door and locks it. As you look around, the streets are barren with street lights emitting light. You both look at each other for a moment, then she gestures forward to get you to lead her to your home, and you both head out. As your walk, the silence gets a little too awkward.
"Hey..." she looks at you with a curious look but never breaks her smile. "Um... how long have you been running the bar for?"
"Its been about 3 years, my dad ran The Stable for about 39 years but he retired so somepony had to run the bar."
"You didn't have any other siblings who wanted to run it?"
"Well I do but my little sister wanted to go off to manehattan and make it big and my older brother started a brewery in Appleloosa, they make pretty good whiskey and we I have a some of the liquors that the brewery makes, they're pretty good but my brother was too busy with that so it was left to the middle child." she shrugs her shoulders as you walk side by side. "The bar has been around for over 100 years, and I'm the third to be running it."
You think about that but then another thought came to mind 'did she really want to run the bar?' You can definitely say that it was forced onto herself but maybe your thinking to hard about it but you have to ask.
"Did you want to run the bar I mean you must have wanted to do something else?"
She shoots a confused look at you, "Well of course I do, you can tell by my cutie mark see" you look down and see Brandy pull down her pants and you instantly jerk your head the other way with bright red cheeks.
"Down boy, I'm just letting you see my cutie mark..." as you look back around, you have a quick glance at her face you see some slight blush as you look to see her cutie mark. It has the image of a liquor bottle with sparks coming out of the bottle... I don't know what that means. She pulls up her pants as you finish taking a look at it.
"So what does that mean, you really like drinking?" she starts laughing at your question like what you said the funniest thing in the world.
"No, Im not Berry Punch! So when I was a kid, I was never been to the bar, because my dad never wanted me to work there." she continues, "My brother used to help him but he went off to college, so I was the next up, and the day I started working, I loved it and I got my cutie mark, so to be clear, yes I did want to run the bar."
"So cutie marks determine what you do for the rest of your life?"
"For the most part I guess but its not like it can stop anypony from doing something else." That makes sense, you know if this was a thing back on earth, it would probably make living in the real world so much easier.
"So I think I've talked about myself enough, what did you do back on your world?"
"Well I was going to college to get my bachelor's degree in English to become an English teacher." Brandy looks at you confused, has she never heard of English... or a teacher, maybe you should lower your expectations of Equestria and its people a little more.
"What in the hay is English?"
"You know the language," she looks at you raising an eyebrow, "The one that we are speaking right now."
"I think you mean Equestrian Vash." you have an incredulous look smeared across your face. But you suck it up, of course there will be differences in each of our cultures, your lucky that you were brought to a world where the people speak the same language as you.
"Ok in my world the language we are speaking is called English but in your world its called Equestrian, ok?"
"That sounds about right to me, so you want to be an Eques- I mean English teacher? I never pegged you to be the 'teaching type'."
"Well I always loved to write and I wanted to teach kids so it was a no brainer to me."
"So your also a writer ay? Maybe you can write a biography about my bar and its history, I have a bunch of great stories that have been passed down to me!"
"Maybe one day..."
"And if you wanted to teach, why didn't you go see cheerlie down at the school Im sure you could have been a teachers aid."
"Really!? Well I guess that would have been a better idea but I guess I could try that out but I was only in my second year of college so I don't think I would do all to good."
"No way, you'd probably be a great teacher, I know your a lowsey bartender."
"Hey!"
"Im just joking!" she playfully pushes your should as you both walk and laugh.
You arrive at the front porch of your house. This has been nice, you kind of wish you could have talked to Brandy a little more but sometime you can't help the inevitable, besides you'll be able to talk more tomorrow. You get a good look at her and you realise that shes pretty good looking, especially in the moonlight, her body is also incredible... You can tell that she works out quite a lot because she is built, I think shes even more muscular than Applejack and tall, almost as tall as Princess Celestia and her eyes... You snap out of your trance after the realisation you've just been standing there just ogling her up and down and shes been staring at you with the look of a hawk.
"You know what they say Vashy..." she leans in close to you with her face only being an inch from yours whispering, "take a picture, it'll last longer."
Before anything else can happen the front door opens with Dante looking at the both of you shit faced, I guess he had a few more drinks after he got home from the bar.
After about a second he says "Already trying to fuck your boss I see-" you both turn cherry red in the cheeks and step away from each other.
"N-no its not what it looks like we were just-" he shushs you putting a finger on your mouth forcefully.
"I don't wanna hear it missy now get inside, its *burp* late..." he gets behind you and starts pushing you inside.
"Goodnight, uh see you tomorrow Brandy!" you say with a little wave.
"Yeah, goodnight..." Dante looks at Brandy with narrow eyes.
He slowly closes the door and says "You should be ashamed of yourself..."
The door closes with a small slam.
