Chapters The statue of Discord stood elegantly as it basked in the moonlight. In stone, just as in flesh, Discord exhibited a certain chaotic grace; a method to the madness, if you will. His mismatched features, Twilight noticed, were still contorted into the same expression of shock and fear they had been when he had been struck by the Elements of Harmony just a few weeks ago.
She looked at the statue as if she hoped to gain some great knowledge from it. A silly exercise, she knew, but something made her want to know about him. Questions abounded in her mind as to the origins of the strange creature within that statue, but just the thought of what he had done to her friends made her shudder.
So she stayed at the edge of the area around the statue, refusing to approach as if bound by the shackles of superstition. He was harmless now, why would it matter?
Deep in the depths of her ever-frantic cranium, she was caught off guard by a figure that approached the statue from another angle. It took her a moment in the dim light, but she could identify the pony as... Celestia? But what could she be doing here?
She watched as Celestia slowly approached the statue, checking both ways as she did. She was carrying something in her mouth, but Twilight couldn't make out what it was.
But... why would she...
She then lowered her head, dropped the object onto the ground, and whispered almost inaudibly.
"I am sorry. I am so, so sorry."
A single glistening tear fell from her eyes, almost seeming to slow time itself as it fell silently to the ground.
She stayed that way for a few long moments, her head hung low, not speaking a word, not moving a muscle. Even her ever-flowing mane seemed to lose its life.
Finally, she looked up, and Twilight thought she might have heard some quiet sobbing.
"Forgive me... Please, forgive me."
She walked back the way she had come, going even slower this time, and looking utterly defeated.
Twilight, meanwhile, stood by in utter shock. The princess, crying over Discord and asking for forgiveness? And what did she leave there?
Barely managing to contain her curiosity long enough to allow the princess to be a suitable distance away, Twilight ran over to see the curious object.
She didn't know what to expect, but that left her no less surprised when she identified the item:
A single, beautiful rose.
Twilight awoke early that morning, though she had less than a full night's sleep, to say the least. The same thoughts that had kept her awake still bothered her mind, and part of her wanted to dismiss the whole thing as a dream. What she had seen Celestia doing...
It simply could not have been real.
That didn’t stop the thought from sounding itself in her mind again and again, though.
Discord.
She apologized to Discord.
And... gave him a rose?
Why?
She shook the disturbance from her mind. If she was going to find out what was going on, she would need a clear head.
The blanket bid her a warm farewell as the stone floor met her hooves with a cold greeting. She did not mind it, though. Warmth was for comfort, coolness was for focus.
Not that she knew what to focus on.
Looking out from the tower where she had been lavishly housed for her visit, she could see all the splendor of Canterlot. She tried to allow her mind to get pulled along with the hustle and bustle of the eternally fancy hive below her, but she had learned long ago that such distractions would do little to alleviate her itch for understanding.
While most of her wanted desperately to somehow help as a friend, however irrational such a possibility may have been, some part of her just wanted to investigate for the sake of solving a puzzle. To the unsympathetic detective that sat somewhere in Twilight's mind, this was all a bit of a game, and the rest of her felt terrible for giving such a view even a passing glance.
After a brief deliberation, she concluded that she still needed answers. The Princess simply could not be allowed to bear up under such pain without assistance.
Maybe if I just talk to her, she will open up about these things.
But what she was doing last night was clearly meant to be a secret. She didn't know I was there.
Among the cacophony of arguments that arose within Twilight's mind, one somewhat regal voice managed to stand out.
I am her Faithful Student.
The meaning that the thought carried was enough to allow for both reassurance and obligation in the matter.
Still, best to approach the subject slowly, delicately. I wouldn't want to upset her...
She decided to leave the matter alone for the moment, and trotted down to the Canterlot libraries. Though she greeted the many different ponies who served in the castle, most of them had learned long ago not to bother Twilight when she was on one of her study quests.
After a somewhat brief but contemplative walk, she concluded that the first immediate and inconspicuous source she could lay her hooves on would be books. Taking a few minutes to look through the library garnered her a book on Chaos magic. She had often wondered about it anyhow, though her recent encounter with Discord had generated very mixed feelings on the subject. She still shuddered at the thought of what he had done to her friends and the world around them, but she had never seen anything like Discord’s magic.
To Twilight, every sort of magic and science bore interest. But Chaos Magic was a dark temptation. It could transform everything around you, and even who you were. There was a reason why nopony had practiced it for hundreds of years.
Regardless, this was the only place to start if she was get anywhere near understanding what had been going on, and the subject turned out to be oddly fascinating despite the small amount anypony seemed to truly know for certain. She heard a voice veritably yelling her name, and looked up from her text with a sheepish smile to see a member of the castle staff who had come to invite her to breakfast. She walked off at a brisk pace, but slowed to a saunter as soon as she had rounded a corner, turning back to her reading as she made her way to the dining area.
After another, lengthier walk, Twilight finally arrived at a clearly overdressed table, which, despite its enormous size, would today only be used by Spike, Luna, Celestia and Twilight.
There was a beautiful spread of breakfast foods set upon a pure white tablecloth, all of it in clear excess of what the guests present could possibly eat. All of it sat upon shining serving dishes, to be served with polished utensils onto fine porcelain plates decorated with simple floral patterns. Luna’s dinner was set aside from the rest, along with some fine red wine; though it made the timing slightly difficult, it had become their custom to share this meal time, so as to allow the two sisters to see each other for at least one mealeach day.
Celestia smiled at Twilight, a wholesome and sincere smile. "Good morning, my faithful student. It's good you came to join us. I find these times with friends a welcome break from the usual court ceremony."
Twilight tried to make her voice at least somewhat cheerful when she said "Good morning, and I'm glad to hear it." It did come out in a normal enough tone, but unbeknownst to her, the look in her eyes betrayed deep concern.
If Celestia can seem so normal now, who knows how long she's been suffering this way?
I only saw her doing that once, but it could have happened almost every night for years...
She may have been in misery for years, without me any the wiser...
But then she noticed something. She couldn't tell what, but all at once she saw that something was wrong about Celestia's smile, the eternal motherly expression in her eyes. Something was... missing, almost.
She did not know whether to feel relieved that she could see it, or distressed that it was there.
Her thoughts were interrupted when Spike announced"Thif food if amavinf!" through a mouthful of breakfast. It was something of a relief, though; she needed the silly laugh that came with reproving him, even if it was a fleeting relief.
"I must concur with my sister's expressions about this occasion. The moments I can sit among friends who see beyond my past are too few."
Twilight nodded understandingly, but was not distracted from her thoughts.
How can I possibly ask her about it? She didn't even know I was there.
Or did she?
This was, after all, Celestia she was dealing with. And Celestia had had all the accumulated all the knowledge and wisdom of millennia to give her that startling ability to see through almost everyone, and know all the things that she shouldn't have been able to.
"Twilight, are you feeling well? You've hardly looked up from the floor the whole meal."
Twilight flinched slightly. Why do I suddenly feel like a foal who’s been caught drawing eavesdropping?
Does... does she know?
No. She's just concerned. I've been even deeper in thought than usual this morning, and she noticed.
Grateful for her habit of leaving whatever she was reading lately open on her lap, Twilight simply explained "Oh, I was just... doing some reading. It's a whole new subject for me, so I... got a little lost in it."
Twilight levitated the dusty book for Celestia to see.
Celestia's warm smile grew somewhat. "You and your books have always been inseparable. Just remember to..."
She trailed off for a moment, frozen with her mouth slightly open and her eyes locked on the book. The words "Chaos Magic" escaped her lips, but she quickly apologized and continued as if nothing had happened. "Sorry, I seem to have lost my trail of thought." She immediately recomposed herself, though this time the missing part in her look seemed to have grown to encompass much more.
She looked away for a moment, then back to Twilight. "Twilight, I know you take interest in many things, but I don't recall you reading about Chaos Magic before. Is there any particular reason you've started reading about it?"
Twilight looked sheepish, and squirmed slightly under Celestia's gaze. It was not a threatening look, even with all the power that lay behind it, but it was one that always seemed to see everything.
"No, it just... seemed interesting. It's one of the only kinds of magic I know almost nothing about."
Celestia nodded. "I warn you to exercise caution, my Faithful Student. It is a dangerous field of magic." She paused for a moment, considering something. "It is the very nature of such magic to be distorting and unpredictable. Users of it often suffer terrible consequences." She then turned to Spike and Luna, whom Twilight had forgotten in the midst of Celestia's strange behaviour. "Would anyone like more of anything?"
Twilight was certain Spike would not-entirely-politely ask for dessert or somesuch. Instead, he simply said "No thanks," and returned to a conversation that he and Luna had been having. She realized that they had probably been talking beyond her notice the entire time. For their part, they seemed to be talking and laughing without ever detecting what had just transpired between Celestia and Twilight.
Celestia, meanwhile, sat gingerly sipping her tea, and looked up with the same half-empty smile she had earlier. "Twilight, you really must stop spending so much time in books. Especially those that could lead you somewhere you shouldn't go."
Twilight shrugged, her attitude shifting of its own accord. Her tone attempted politeness, but did not quite hit the mark. "Well, if they're in the Canterlot Archives, they must be there for a reason."
Celestia nodded in silence, and spoke somewhat more softly and slowly than she had been. "I suppose that is true. Once again, though, be careful."
It must be more than just the danger of Chaos Magic. But what could Celestia possibly be hiding?
Another thought cut a path from Twilight's mind directly into her heart:
Doesn't she trust me? Doesn’t she believe in me?
She began to wonder if this was the right thing to do.
I think it is wise to note that I know that ponies from back before the Nightmare Moon incident spoke differently.
However, their manner of speaking is archaic and unclear to many today, so I've taken it upon myself to give their grammar and wording a bit of an update, so as to make it clear to readers.
You may fully trust that the content of this history remains undistorted in its entirety.
The cloudless sky that Luna had painted for the night made a special effort to be more populous as the event taking place below. What the guests lacked in number or sheer elegance, however, they made up with variety.
Suits, dresses, hats, capes, shoes, and all other manner of fancy attire made for a rich variety of colours to paint the crowds of the very first Grand Galloping Gala. And the colors danced, and spoke, and ate, and some even sang, each adding their own bit of culture to the event, though some more than others.
As Luna admired the success of the event she had prepared, however, she noticed a single flaw, small in scale but glaring in magnitude, floating around amid the guests: a Celestia that was not enjoying herself.
Oh, Tia. Why can you not simply have some fun for a while?
Half the reason Luna had organized the celebration had been to give her sister a moment away from the many headaches that being the Solar Princess brought, and yet Celestia was even now holding conversation with some of the same self-important snobs whom she normally had the abhorrent duty of dealing with throughout the day. These fops, in their top hats and monocles and overly elaborate suits and dresses, each no doubt seeking eagerly to speak about their boring selves, and each probably doing so in an attempt to impress the others. For such ponies, this was all just another way to climb the social ladder, and Celestia probably seemed the highest rung to pull themselves up by.
I know she doesn't enjoy them; they no doubt dragged her into some conversation again, and she doesn't know how to get away without offending them.
I suppose it's up to me to make a way.
Hah. It's a good thing I brought a contingency plan.
She scanned for through the array of ponies, and after a long moment, came upon the sight of a bright orange coat, with hooves waving about to complement energetic speech that was being delivered quite successfully to a group of others, who were all smiling and laughing.
Perfect!
Well, he ought to be. After all, he was hoofpicked.
As she strode over to him, her presence gathered the attention of the group, whom all bowed courteously to her. She was quick to begin before the others we able to. She had no desire to waste time when she could be helping her sister.
"Good evening, my little ponies. I trust you are enjoying yourselves?" Not waiting for an answer, she turned to the orange pony that seemed to have been producing the group's laughter. "Excuse me, but I require your assistance for a rather serious matter, sir... Shining Smiles, was it?"
"Indeed, your Highness. I'd be happy to help!" She was once again reminded of his cutie mark, which consisted of two beaming eyes above a broad grin. Yes, he should do nicely.
"Ah, very good. Please come with me, Shining Smiles."
When they had gotten a small distance away from the group he had been with, who still bore quizzical expressions, he revealed his lack of knowledge on the subject of discretion, and rapidly began chattering away, asking many questions but waiting for few answers. "So, what do you need me for? Or should I say who? It's usually a who, because of course ponies always want me to go cheer up whichever grumpy pants is being a party pooper! But that's my job, isn't it? Making ponies sm ile! That's why I'm Shining Smiles! There's no fun in just one, after all! Did I mention I love doing that? Making ponies smile, I mean. It's my favourite job ever! But it's also sort of my only job ever! I mean, I used to farm rocks with my brother but that was so boring I mean can you imagine-"
He found Luna's hoof hoof been nicely fitted to his mouth, which was still chattering away through its muffling prison.
"You see Princess Celestia over there, yes? Well, it may not seem that way, but she is having a rather poor time at this party. Do you suppose you could help her with this predicament?"
She removed her hoof from his mouth, allowing his ecstatic voice to immediately burst forth. "Of course I can! I'll have a smile on that face in no time!"
Luna watched from a distance as the spectacle unfolded. First, she noticed Shining pop out from numerous angles around the high-society ponies, much to their chagrin and Luna and Celestia's confused but quiet amusement. She realized a moment later that he had apparently been singing a song to them, but could make out no more than the horrified faces that hid beneath top hats and behind monocles. Finally, he made a finale in which he fired a cannon toward them, which appeared to use things like confetti and streamers as ammunition. And with the final push of their most elaborate regalia being replaced by party hats and other festivity paraphernalia, the patrons of Canterlot's highest crust were sent fleeing in terror before a somewhat confused orange pony and a princess who was struggling to keep her laughter under control.
Luna, of course, found the entire situation absolutely hilarious, and unlike her sister, allowed herself the freedom to laugh out loud. Such were the luxuries afforded by watching from a distance.
She thought of moving closer to them, but recalled a spell that she had invented for just such occasions some time ago. Being careful to remain inconspicuous, or at least try to, she lit up her horn and was able to make out most of what they were saying. It wasn't that she needed to remain hidden, but more that eavesdropping was usually frowned upon.
Just to see if it worked.
She giggled slightly to herself.
"-and so that's how I made the Celebration Cannon! I still haven't figured out a proper name for it yet, though. Oh well, I'm sure it'll come to me someday."
Searching for a more complete sign of success, Luna found a wide and sincere grin on Celestia's face.
"That was a surprisingly interesting story, Shining. I'll have to hear some others. That part about accidentally hitting the mayor reminded me of an incident I had while I was visiting the Dragonlord. Perhaps you'd like to hear about it?"
"Princess, I'd like nothing better!"
Yes! It worked!
Luna fought the urge to perform any celebratory rituals, and opted to only check in on the conversation now and again, so as to avoid any more risks to detection.
I do hope he realizes that she likes more than just jokes and funny stories.
Then again, perhaps she needs the mental break.
“And that’s why I don’t take sides on the Second Dragon War. I mean really, was it really so sacred that it was worth more than thousands of lives?”
Celestia looked up thoughtfully for a moment. There was even some cheerful surprise in her voice. “You know, I’ve often wondered if there was anypony else who realized it could be thought about that way.”
So he can hold his own in more studious matters after all. Even better!
Others, of far better company than those before, spoke with them as well, of course, but as they came and went Celestia and Shining Smiles stayed, their attention enwrapped in one another.
With the final blemish of Celestia's discontent nicely removed and replaced by some of the happiest chatting she had seen in years, Luna's night and her Gala went on each at their own pace, each displaying the full splendor of its own beauty.
When the night had nearly managed to finally outlast the Gala, Smiles and Celestia still remained, sharing stories and discussing numerous topics as if they were still surrounded by other guests.
"Well, I guess you would know more about immortality than I do. You know, I had a similar conversation with a philosopher called Brightwit at a banquet. The argument turned circular, though, and soon I just wanted to get away and eat some pie, but I couldn’t get out of it! Eventually I got so annoyed that I took the big strawberry pie, yelled "SurPIES!" and threw it right at him! Hayseeds, was he ever mad. You should have seen the look on his face! All better the next day, though."
Seeing that the experiment was successful, and feeling tired herself from the long day of preparing beforehand, Luna decided to have an early day, walking off under the starry blanket of the sky, followed momentarily by the trailing away conversation of two of the most contented ponies she had seen in many years.
Of Princesses, Papers, and Joking Jesters
Years before the dreaded and painful Nightmare Moon Incident, Celestia and Luna stood together for their ponies, guarding them as a duo against anything that threatened their kingdom.
Against that day's paperwork, however, Celestia was something of a lone warrior. And though she fought bravely and with practiced skill, even the best of ponies will fall to attrition eventually. Even though she gave up on old notions of honor and mercy, every battle still needed to be fought. Today, her opponent’s armies seemed to be infinite.
Infinite and stupid.
If only it really could be a battle...
Celestia repositioned herself upon her grandiose throne so as to more comfortably review her paperwork. Yet another request for royal funding for an eccentric personal project? Honestly, where do they find the nerve? Well, at least she got to hear the satisfying THUMP of the disapproval stamp. Of course, it was still followed by the shuffling of more papers, and the rubbing of her tired eyes yet again.
An endless stream of idiots with money and position! It makes me sick!
No, no. I must stay calm. They don't know any better.
That reassurance didn't last long, however, when faced with a fresh demand for stricter education of the... "Less refined, and oft barbaric earth ponies of the lower regions, that they may become more civilized"?
Her eye began to twitch. The papers in front of her began crumpling under the force of her magic. How can anyone be so... I just...
On another day, Celestia may have gladly told anyone that supporters are one of the finest blessings anypony can have, even if they're not the sort we may think we want.
Some days, however, she didn’t realize how blessed she was.
Celestia was about to scream in rage, until she noticed an apparently overjoyed face beckoning her attention from the marble floor in her peripheral vision. "Not now, please, I'm already very busy."
The face spoke in a somewhat familiar voice, thoroughly friendly and full of youth and energy. "Oh, but your Majesty, this is a very important matter. I'm afraid you'll have to come immediately."
Celestia groaned, and stared at the papers, unable to continue reading them. It's always something urgent around here. I honestly don't know how I'd identify a real emergency anymore. "If this is about the griffon diplomat coming next week, it's already been taken care of."
Something more tugged at her consciousness, and she wanted to look over to him, but she knew that doing so could distract her, and that would be unacceptable. The necessity of doing paperwork was a lesson she had learned years ago, when the courts descended into chaos following a vacation that had gone on far too long.
Even if the work did threaten to drive her mad from time to time.
Given her irritation and the stallion's continued bothering, it was no surprise that she accidentally stamped her approval on a request to fund a study of the effects of lunar cycles on various cheeses.
"Please, I've far too much to do, sir..." She found herself at a loss for his name.
"Shining Flank, your majesty."
Shining Flank? Well that's a strange name for a...
She looked up to the strange, smiling face that stood before her. "I don't believe I've-"
She was cut off mid-sentence by the sudden realization that it was not, in fact, a court official, but rather a cutie mark that she had been speaking to. Ah. Shining Flank. That makes sense now.
Its bearer, one Shining Smiles, now lay rolling on the floor in a grand fit of laughter.
She made a mental note to seek some sort of benign revenge, but she could not help but chuckle at the display. "Ah, Shining Smiles. I remember you. We met at the Gala last week, correct?"
He shot up from the floor and into his usual ready-looking posture in an instant. "Indeed we did! I never knew royalty could be so interesting! "
Celestia smiled at the compliment. Compliments on her wisdom, her kindness, sometimes even her beauty or poise were normal to her, but it was not every day that a princess was called interesting.
"I'm glad to hear it, Shining, but I have a lot of work to do and-"
"And you've probably been overwhelmed like this every day since the Gala, haven't you?"
The question caught her somewhat off guard. "Well, I suppose, but-"
"No buts! You're going to have some fun!"
A sudden realization hit her at precisely that moment. "Now hold on a moment. You're not a member of the court, so how did you get past the guards?"
Shining lit up with pride. "Oh, that was easy! I just did it like this, see?"
He then walked behind a nearby pillar, popped his head out from and back into a nearby flowerpot, and lastly shot out from behind the back of the throne, giving Celestia a noticeable startle.
"See? Easy peasy!"
He then ducked back out of view again, and came out behind another pillar, this time holding her paperwork.
She did not know whether to be enraged or amused, but she did know to be shocked.
"What- how-"
"I just showed you how, silly! You should really pay closer attention!"
Celestia's wide eyes, when topped with uncharacteristically angry eyebrows, made quite the striking image.
"Shining, give those back this instant! "
"Come and get them!"
And with that he ducked away before dropping from the ceiling in front of two guards, who proceeded to tackle the spot where he landed, in a futile attempt to catch him.
Taking off after him was not so much a strategic choice as a instinctual reflex.
Getting out the door behind him in a few seconds, Celestia managed to catch a now-struggling Shining in her magic. She glared down at him, her eyes almost seeming to glow as she scanned him for the papers. Shining’s eyes became pinpricks, which nicely complemented the sheepish smile and loud gulping.
“Tia, I think you’re overreacting.”
Celestia dropped Shining and looked up to see Luna standing beside her, now holding the papers in her own navy blue aura. As one small foal might do to another, the great Lunar Princess played a momentary game of keep-away with her solar counterpart, who began to burn with the all the intensity that the sun itself might wield.
"Luna, what is the meaning of this?"
In response to the most furious fires of day, Luna exemplified the serenity of truest night. "It's very simple, Tia. You see, I've agreed to let Shining come by and see you as he pleases, provided he can do so without my help, as we've both seen that he can. You go have fun with him; he's very good at it, and I can take care of the paperwork later tonight. Now if you'll excuse me, I must be getting back to bed. Excellent work, Shining."
"But I don't need another day off! It's been less than two weeks since the Gala and—"
"And you've been running yourself ragged and getting half the sleep you should be getting since then, Tia. Trust me, I should know. It's no secret that this is the busiest time of year for you."
Celestia could not bring herself to think of a retort, even though some part of her brain would not stop shouting about how one was needed immediately. Instead, she floated on, allowing herself to be pulled along in the winds of the situation.
Well, the situation and the contagiously happy face that initiated it.
" Now you have to come have some fun! Come on, I know this great spot we can go relax for a little bit."
Luna managed to maintain her poise until Celestia and Shining had put a few doors between themselves and her.
Only then did she allow herself to show her anxiety looking at the pile of papers left for her.
"Oh, hayseeds. What did I just get myself into?"
I think Shining Smiles is a fitting name for someone like me; I love spreading joy. Besides, ponies tell me all the time how bright and contagious my smile is. Maybe that's why I love to wear it so much. But even if it wasn't, I think smiling would still be my favourite thing to do, and I'd still smile anyways. Hey, if they won't laugh with you, you can laugh at them!
Wait. That came out wrong.
If they're just being mean or grumpy, you can kinda laugh at them. Just a little. Right?
Maybe a little more if they're a jerk.
But what if they're really sad, or just lonely or exhausted?
I mean, some days, even I get lonely or sad. That's not a nice way to be at all.
Today might be one of those days.
I felt a little cold when I woke up, so I decided to go find someone who could warm me up. Loneliness, sadness, and even my occasional bitterness were always afraid to follow me when I went to my friends. After thinking a little, I realized most of my friends are probably busy. In fact, all of them were busy.
They were usually busy, even when they weren't.
But there was one pony who would be just perfect for making me feel better today. And I know she'll feel better too.
I chuckle to myself as I realize that I'm not seeing my friends because they're too busy for a visit, and yet I'm walking down these cobblestone paths to see Celestia mostly because she's too busy for her own good.
I think the guards might let me in freely after Luna gave me permission, but I wouldn't want risk getting them into trouble, so I slip around them.
I start to feel a bit better already. I soft smile comes across my lips, and an idea for a joke hatches in my mind. She's so busy with her paperwork that she probably won't catch on, and it'll probably highlight to her just how overworked she is.
She's got an enormous pile of paperwork in front of her, and there are rings around her eyes. She looks frustrated; very, very frustrated.
So, I wait for a moment to make sure she's thoroughly absorbed in her work. When she looks about ready to explode, I put on my best Canterlot accent, and point my Cutie Mark toward her.
"Your majesty, your majesty! You must come quickly!"
She sighs, and doesn't look up. I wonder if she heard me. "Not now, please, I'm already very busy."
Oh, this is going to be hilarious. "Oh, but your Majesty, this is a very important matter. I'm afraid you'll have to come immediately."
She groans, and stares at the papers. I guess she thinks I can't tell that she's not even reading them anymore.
"If this is about the griffon diplomat coming next week, it's already been taken care of."
There's some signs of an internal conflict, which is probably good. If there's conflict, it means there has to be some sincere desire to change course.
She snaps out of her momentary trance and stamps some papers, before looking shocked. Apparently, she has some serious fortitude, because she doesn't look over after that.
Well, at least she clearly wants to look up.
"Please, I've far too much to do, sir..."
"Shining Flank, your majesty."
She looks a little bewildered, and then she finally looks up to my Cutie Mark.
"I don't believe I've-"
The look on her face is priceless, and I fall to the ground laughing, my sides threatening to burst. Suddenly, the lonely day is forgotten.
"Ah, Shining Smiles. I remember you. We met at the Gala last week, correct?"
I jump up and wipe a tear from my eye. "Indeed we did! I never knew royalty could be so interesting! "
I think it's a good compliment. I could have said she was beautiful, or graceful, or wise and still been perfectly honest, but interesting is one thing that every pony wants to hear, but nopony ever says, even to really interesting ponies like Celestia. She smiles, and I hope she's not just being polite.
"I'm glad to hear it, Shining, but I have a lot of work to do and-"
"And you've probably been overwhelmed like this every day since the Gala, haven't you?"
Excuses would be bad, but cutting her off and throwing in a question would pull the fuel from that fire.
"Well, I suppose, but-"
"No buts! You're going to have some fun!"
I feel a little bit weird after strategizing that part of the conversation, but she needs the break more than I need the company.
Her expression changed. "Now hold on a moment. You're not a member of the court, so how did you get past the guards?"
It won't be very good do let her know how badly that question caught me off guard, so I decide to take pride in my explanation. "Oh, that was easy! I just did it like this, see?"
As I walk behind a nearby pillar, I see an opportunity arise. I pop my head out from and back into a nearby flowerpot, and then I come out from behind her throne, which allowed me to grab the papers while Celestia was startled.
"See? Easy peasy!"
I duck behind the throne again, and come out behind another pillar, holding her paperwork in plain view. If I can get her off the throne, even just for a moment, she'll probably be willing to stay off it for the next little while.
I get kinda sorta creeped out just a little when she half-smiles, half-scowls, and opens her eyes abnormally wide all at once.
"What- how-"
"I just showed you how, silly! You should really pay closer attention!"
"Shining, give those back this instant! "
"Come and get them!"
And with that I duck away behind the flower pot and drop from the ceiling in front of the two guards. They both try to tackle me, but I manage to get away before they even become airborne.
When I get through the door, Luna is waiting there for me.
She looks very amused. I guess she was watching the whole thing?
"Shining, quickly, give me the paperwork."
I hoof it over to her, but find myself caught in a golden glow that pulls me back and upward.
Oh no.
Flailing my hooves does little to help, and soon Celestia’s eyes are looking down at me in the scariest way I can imagine. They’re even glowing a little bit, which sort of adds to the existentially horrifying feeling that the sun itself is angry with me. The moment drags on while her gaze looks through my soul.
“Tia, perhaps you’re overreacting?”
I’m enormously relieved to see Luna intervening, but mot so relieved to feel my side THUMP onto the stone floor. Ow.
When I look back up, there's a hilarious game of keep-away going on between the two most powerful ponies in existence. Luna still looks amused, but Celestia is completely angry and flustered, which just makes it even funnier.
She finally stops for a moment, and she looks as angry, but composed. Well, more composed than she was, anyways.
"Luna, what is the meaning of this?"
"It's very simple, Tia. You see, I've agreed to let Shining come by and see you as he pleases, provided he can do so without my help, as we've both seen that he can. You go have fun with him; he's very good at it, and I can take care of the paperwork later tonight. Now if you'll excuse me, I must be getting back to bed. Excellent work, Shining."
I flash Celestia a cheeky smile.
"But I don't need another day off! It's been less than two weeks since the Gala and—"
"And you've been running yourself ragged and getting half the sleep you should be getting since then, Tia. Trust me, I should know. It's no secret that this is the busiest time of year for you."
It looks like Celestia is at a total loss, so I decide to fill in the new gap in her day for her.
" Now you have to come have some fun! Come on, I know this great spot we can go relax for a little bit."
We walk off, and Celestia seems to have resigned herself to whatever she thinks I have planned.
I realize she probably needs to relax after everything I just put her through, so I figure I'll take her a beautiful grassy hill I know about.
There's a beautiful tree there, too, with lots of shade and some hidden picnic supplies behind it.
She doesn't know it, but Celestia has warmed up my day already.
It's only fair I do the same for her.
"Don't worry, Celestia. You're going to love this."
She sighs, and I chuckle, and we walk toward the hopeful sunshine of an open door at the end of a large hall, and everything feels simply beautiful.
After some five days of reading through the Canterlot Archives as only she could, Twilight understood little more about Chaos magic than she already had. It seemed that no pony could control it predictably, which made sense, and worse yet, it was hard to find or manipulate at all to begin with. Methods of trying to harness it for its raw power all failed miserably, and those involved with it ended up either dead or mad if they did not give up their pursuits.
It had been almost entirely abandoned many centuries ago, once would-be practitioners decided that the many incredible one-off effects were not worth the risk.
Aside from some barren histories, though, one fact caught her eye: it seemed to posses the one constant feature of moving inexorably toward its own creation, self replication being its ultimate result. It did not matter who was using it or to what end; Chaos magic had only one rule that always worked, the solitary law which stated that Chaos would always make more Chaos, at every opportunity.
Other than these things, though, there was nothing known.
Frustrated, Twilight decided to take a walk through the Canterlot Gardens. On her way through, she found herself drawn once again to the statue of Discord.
He had entered her thoughts many times over the past week. It would be easy to explain it as being the result of her recent study of Chaos magic, but there seemed to be some other purpose to all these intrusions. It had become very clear to her that Discord was an important piece in the puzzle.
And the puzzle was an important piece in helping Celestia.
But why the statue itself?
She found herself pondering for a long moment.
How can I learn about him, even if I want to?
For the small number of books about Chaos magic, there were even fewer on the topic of Discord himself. Information was scarce, and as with Chaos magic, that which there was related bare facts that were in the public eye, not personal stories.
Giving in to her less rational side, she approached the statue, placing her hoof upon it. "What are you?"
Oh, you know what I am.
Twilight screamed, jumping backward. She could have sworn she had heard the silky, twisted voice of the being within resounding in her mind. "But that's impossible. Right?"
After a few moments' hesitation, she approached once again, once more placing her hoof upon him.
Impossible? No, dear Twilight. Fun? Oh, absolutely. I don't get many visitors these days. Rather boring in here.
This time, she managed to find the restraint not to retreat, but kept it open as an option, should Discord do anything suspicious.
"I need information, Discord. I need to know about-"
About the distant past, and Celestia, and all of that, yes, yes, I know why you're here. Oh, it is a tale of misery and woe, Hahahaha! But I don't think I could fill you in very well. Luna might know some things though, perhaps you should go and ask her.
Twilight had already been considering this option, but suddenly, given her previous experience with Discord, she became suspicious, particularly since it was such a straightforward piece of advice. "How do I know this isn't some trickery?"
Oh, you don't! That's the fun part! But I think you should be able to trust her, if not dear old me. Run along now, there's investigating to do!
She removed her hoof from the statue, not entirely sure what to think. He had no reason to lie to her. But this is Discord. He doesn't need a reason.
Then again, he simply directed her to another source, and she knew firsthoof that Luna was indeed trustworthy.
Once again, the investigation begins.
Out of One Shell, Into Another
The walk to Shining's relaxation spot was not too long, and his fun and excitable conversation made it shorter.
Though some part of Celestia continued to resist the situation, there was a strange but undeniable charm about the stallion, and he had already forced her to feel amused and even laugh multiple times, although she begrudged it. His manner, his demeanor, his sharp wit and warm jokes, all gave one clear message:
"Today will be a good day, whether you like it or not."
Unsure what to say in response to this, Celestia huffed and put on an unamused face, which she managed to hold for all of three seconds before cracking an involuntary smile once again.
Another little part of her gave in to the warmth and the relaxation, and pushed forth a minor confession. "I suppose it will have to be."
"Indeed it will! I have a surprise for you later! But forget I told you that."
She turned her confused expression toward his exuberant smile. He didn't seem to notice.
"Anyways, we're here. It may not be much to a princess, but some soft ground and a bit of shade are something anypony can enjoy! The view's not bad either."
Celestia looked upon an enormous oak tree, which sat alone atop an enormous grassy hill. Shining ran behind it and came back with a full set of picnic supplies, which he had out and open in seconds.
Celestia thought that perhaps she should have offered to help, but realized also that he had it done before she could anyhow.
"Well, what are you waiting for? Get over here!"
He gestured for her to come over, and she complied. She realized a bit too late that he had essentially just ordered her around, and she would have been irritated if she wasn’t amused (despite her growing convern) with the way he wore a smirk reminiscent of an amateur con-artist when he told her to take a seat near him.
From a basket that was too small to hold so many things, he brought out a wide array of simple but excellently prepared foods. Two kinds of bread, three jams, a variety of sandwiches, different juices, apples, strawberries... suffice it to say, he was prepared.
"A picnic fit for a princess!" Shining gave her a wink. Celestia gave a look of mock disapproval, and smiled at his antics.
The bread was as fresh and soft as anything Celestia’s own cooks made, and though there was a slight tinge of blackness along the top, it had a slight sweetness and a hint of cinnamon that complemented the rich jam, which seemed to also be homemade. The fruit itself was fresh and succulent, the sandwiches featured strange but lovely combinations of flowers and vegetables, and best of all, she could see that everything had been lovingly homemade and handpicked. It was a bizarre thought at first that someone like Shining could make food to rival that of her own cooks, but she realized that they were only people, like everyone else, and were susceptible to falling into the disinterest of a routine.
“Shining, where do you get food like this?”
He looked at her with visible pride. “Well, I know a couple of farmers for the fruit and flowers, and a friend of mine named Cinammon Toast taught me how to make the bread. The jam is my own recipe, though!”
As they ate and talked, the conversation came to Celestia’s day, then to her duties, and from there to the many ridiculous reports and requests she had been given. After a dozen or so minutes of conversation, she realized that she was taking up the conversation with discussion of her own life and problems almost entirely. She didn't entirely feel the need to stop, though, as Shining seemed to enjoy this and continued to ask questions, between fits of uncontrollable laughter.
"How were they even going to gather that many rodents to begin with?"
Celestia, too, had begun to laugh heavily, as the ridiculousness of some of the proposals came to light. "I think he wanted me to provide him with something like seventeen different specialists in weasel biology and behaviour, and ten more on small animals and methods of capture?"
Both burst out into another fit of laughing.
When she recovered, Celestia noticed that it would soon be time to lower the sun for the night. She felt a sudden twinge of hesitation at the thought of ending the day, which confused her. She decided she was just tired, and that anypony could get caught up in a round of good fun, even a princess.
"Well Shining, if you wanted to make me forget about my duties-"
"-Of course I wanted to!"
She spoke with a slight irritation at being interrupted. "Then you have succeeded, very nicely. But I cannot forget them forever, and I must be setting the sun soon."
Shining looked back and forth mischievously.
Why does that look make me feel anxious?
"Celestia, can we do just one more thing together? It will only take a few minutes."
She hesitated, but she was drawn by the temptation that usually precedes dangerous ventures. That, and Shining's sudden, borderline childlike begging.
"Come onnnn, you know you want toooo. Please?"
Celestia tried to look indignant. "Oh, fine."
Shining's regular smile returned full-force in an instant. "Hooray!"
He went behind the tree, and somehow produced two barrels. She might have questioned where he got them or how he had them back there, if she wasn't busy questioning what he wanted to do with them.
Something told her that the answer to that would only produce further questions.
"Alright, Celestia. This is going to be fun, but you'll have to trust me. Do you trust me?"
She looked troubled, but still answered with a hesitant "...yes?"
"Great! So, you're going to have to get inside the barrel. Don't worry, it's nice and padded."
Celestia sputtered briefly. She looked into the barrel, saw that it was indeed padded... Who in Equestria makes a padded barrel? And why?
But with the day soon to close, and that evening of fun behind her, she decided not to question for the moment.
She got inside the barrel, and Shining did the same with his own. True to his word, it was not altogether uncomfortable, and somehow rather cozy. She was almost beginning to like it.
Almost.
"So, are you ready?"
Her better judgement caught up with her all at once, and she became nervous. What am I doing in a padded barrel on a hill? .
"... Ready for... what, exactly?"
"A surprise, of course! Surprise!"
And with that the two barrels and their passengers went careening down the hill at frightening speeds.
Celestia, for all her years of life, had never been inside a barrel that was rotating fast enough to allow it to freefall down a hill, and so her screaming became the only answer to Shining's laughter. This went on for what seemed to be an eternity, and though she became numb to dizziness after the first bit, she did not calm down during any part of it - particularly when the barrel hit the odd bump and sent itself and her into the air briefly. After the barrel came to its eventual rolling stop, she clambered out, her mane in a mess, her speech jumbled, her face flushed, and her hooves shaky.
Shining seemed almost unfazed, but for his spinning eyes and stumbling. "Well, that was fun, wasn't it?"
Celestia struggled both to stand and to find words. "How... was... that... fun? I'm..." She let out a long, relieved sort of sigh, and plopped herself on the ground, waiting for the dizziness to wear off.
"Hmm... well, I guess you did scream an awful lot. But if you wanted to stop the barrel, couldn't you have just used your magic?"
"Not... used to... using magic... when spinning..."
At this point, Shining apparently caught his first good look at her, because he fell over, clutching his sides and laughing uncontrollably.
“Princess Celestia, Keeper of the Sun and joint ruler of Equestria, defeated by a barrel and a hill!”
Still unable to stand, she gave him an exaggeratedly furious look. and used her magic to levitate him and drop him into an nearby puddle. That small revenge stopped his laughing for a moment, but he started laughing again the moment he got another look at her.
A smile, begrudging smile split her lips, and she turned away in the hope that he would not notice, until the smile gave way some quiet laughter and head-shaking. She was still frustrated with him, but the situation was amusing, and his intentions were undoubtedly good.
When she was able to, she stood again and dusted herself off. "Well Shining, I must admit that it was... well, somewhat fun."
Shining lit up with pride. She scowled at him. "I said somewhat fun. Now come with me, we must be getting back. Come stand next to me, I’ll teleport us.”
Shining looked away for a moment, gave her a sort of pleading look, and hesitantly posed a question. “Celestia, do you think you could fly me back? I’ve always wondered what it’s like to fly.”
Given that Shining didn’t seem like the sort of pony who would hesitate about anything, Celestia realized that for once he realized his own strangeness.
He must have wanted to ask someone that for some time.
Without answering verbally, she levitated him onto her back, and... Oh, what the hay, grabbed the barrels also.
She flew him up to the top of the hill, much to his loudly pronounced delight, and deposited the barrels there before flying him back to the castle entrance, smiling in response to his ecstatic giggling.
“That was amazing! We have to do that again next time!”
She gave him a look of mock questioning, and smiled.
"Well Shining, it was a very nice evening, but I still must lower the sun. I suppose I'll be seeing you soon?"
Once again, his trademark smile showed itself, but this time, it was a bit warmer, and less mischievous than usual. "When you need it, or when I do! Take care, Celestia."
And with that, he left her to wonder about the meaning behind his last statement.
When I need it, or when he does.
He is indeed a unique pony.
It's a beautiful day for a walk in the castle gardens. The sun is shining, the flowers are in bloom, and it's good for her to get out of the castle, even if it's still on the castle grounds.
And these gardens are the most lush and beautiful I've ever seen. Trees too old for me to guess at, and too varied for me to name stretch up in different places, hanging over various bushes and an incredible array of flowers. Everything is neatly organized and kept tidy, with stone paths leading all through the various hedges and canopies. I could enjoy walking here for a very long time, especially if I'm with someone like the Princess.
She doesn't look as relaxed as she should be, though.
Being a ruler is a heavy responsibility, and I think she needs to take that weight off of her shoulders for a bit. She thinks she doesn't, but thankfully, I won that argument.
Maybe I didn't really win it in the end, though, because there's still a weight hanging on her. She smiles at me, but there's something missing in her eyes. We chat, of course, but there's something empty about it, and there's more silence than speaking.
She has that look, like someone who keeps trying to be happy but isn't succeeding at it.
It's painful just to look at.
"Celestia, what's wrong?"
A more sincere-looking smile appears on her face, but it's not going to fool me. "What do you mean?"
Apparently she didn't notice that I forgot her title, which is probably an indicator that she's more absorbed in it than she realizes.
I hmm and haw, trying to look as if I can't find words. Really, I'm figuring out how to approach the issue.
So, let's see...
At this point, I have a few options. I can ignore it, which will let the problem fester, and get her to keep wearing a mask that part of her is probably dying to take off; I can confront her about it which will mostly make her feel ashamed and give a short and guilty answer; or I can play the game.
So it turns out I have one option. And part of her really wants me to take that option, even if she won't admit it. I know her cover isn't everything it could be, and that means something, but she's not entirely willing to open up completely right away. I think lighthearted explanation of my concern might be a good place to start.
Time to break the long silence.
"Well, normally you're full of interesting things to say, but today you're so quiet. And I can see how you're only smiling when you think I'm looking."
Well, that wasn't as lighthearted as I would've liked.
She's starting to look a bit anxious, and almost sort of guilty. That's not a good reaction. She's also on the verge of saying something, but that something might be her asking me not to pry.
"Please, Celestia? I can't stand seeing you looking like that. Frowns don't suit you; your face is one of those ones that just must have smile on it!"
There's the lightheartedness. I was wondering where it had gone.
She crooks an eyebrow and half-smiles, but it fades away quickly for another look of worry.
She sighs, and gives me this look, like she has a nervous confession to make.
"Shining... do you think I'm a fit ruler?"
Well. That was unexpected.
Must be quite the concern to be coming up like this.
When asked an obvious question, give an obvious answer. "Well of course I do! We all do. I don't think the ponies would follow you the way they do if you weren't. Why are you questioning that? Haven't you been ruling successfully for decades?"
It's interesting how questions slip themselves into places they might not belong.
She looks a bit more distraught, suddenly, and I feel guilty, because I know that last bit of distress was all me. "How do you know that that's why they're loyal to me? What if they just do that because it's the available option?"
I'm tempted to immediately say that that doesn't make sense, but... I guess it could...
She looks away for a moment, then back to me.
"Shining, how well do you know the story of Hearth's Warming?"
Might as well find out where this leads. "A bit better than most ponies."
"What do you remember about the leaders Hurricane, Platinum, and Puddinghead?"
I'm not a fan of rhetorical questions, particularly when it's a planned series of them. But that minor irritation isn't important right now. "Well, just that they were all hateful and selfish in different ways, and that they only changed after the events of Hearth's Warming."
Her gaze drifts downward, and she stops walking. "Shining, that does not begin to cover it. When I was younger, I studied past rulers, hoping to gain insight for the tasks ahead of me. When I reached those three, I found a horrifying record. They were self-absorbed and oppressive, all while maintaining a good outward appearance. That was only a few generations ago, and in the time since, we have softened these stories for foals to hear.
Even so, we keep the fact that their underlying hatred brought abominations onto their land that nearly caused the extinction of our race, all for their own petty hate."
I find myself wondering what relation this bears to her, but I wait a moment, and she speaks up again.
"When I came to rule, the people were skeptical. They knew how the old rulers had been so careless, and how they could keep appearances. In their time, many were afraid that they would fall back to their old ways, and this fear carried on into my time. It carried on into me.
I am terrified at the thought that I might fall into the same traps they did.
My sister and I rule this land with undisputed power. We could be overcome, even gradually, by the same careless, selfish, accusing attitudes, and who would come to question us? What if it happened so slowly that I did not notice, and I fell into a pattern of keeping a good appearance, and inspiring fear in those who would question me?
Even if Platinum and the others had not changed, they would eventually pass on.
But I am immortal, and far more powerful than they were. i and my sister could cast the entire land into despair, and who would there be to save it?"
Well, that was a mouthful.
"I apologize, Shining. I suppose that was a bit much for me to throw at you just now."
I give her a reassuring smile. "It's not a problem at all. I always like talking to you anyways."
I know there's something comforting to say, but my mind is too occupied with questions to find it. "Princess Celestia, when was the last time you talked about this with someone?"
She looks off to the side, and almost mutters. "Never."
It's weird when a part of you wants to feel pride and another part of you wants to feel pity. I mean, it's nice that she talked to me, but... she never talked to anyone about this before?
"Why not? I'm sure Luna could understand, if no one else."
She gives me another pained look, but there's a half-smile there this time. She's slow to begin speaking. "Luna is... Luna looks up to me, in some ways, though it's not the same way my subjects do. We both consult the other when we need advice and help, but she looks at me like I'm the one who knows what to do when things go wrong. To so many, I'm the anchor that hold things down.
That's how it's been since I started ruling. Ponies needed something to put faith in, and there I was. And who can put faith in me if I can't put faith in myself?"
"I can. Even if no one else thinks so, I know you're doing the best anyone could ask for."
I love it when things like that just come to me.
She smiles, and even though it's a small smile, it's not hollow like the others.
But there's still a deeper issue to be dealt with here.
"Princess... I know you don't get bothered like this all the time. Did something happen recently?"
Another sigh, and she speaks in matter-of-face tones, as if reading from a dictionary, but there was an undercurrent of defeat.
"Well... it's not anything truly recent. You see, in my position, I obviously have to delegate most of the actual work. One of the ways I do this is by setting up 'initiatives', which are basically plans to solve specific problems. Every year or so, I check on how these initiatives are going. Last week, I did a review of the past ten years.
What I found was... discouraging, to say the least."
She returned to a more expressive way of speaking. "When I started ruling, everything happened so... quickly. Whole towns were erected, famines solved, disasters averted, alliances made... all before my eyes. I saw progress rush like a raging river. And then... the river stopped, and turned into a stagnant pool.
I am told that it keeps moving, and that this is normal. But while it does, How can I watch this go on, watch my ponies go through this, with nothing more than the promise that someday it will change? Here I am, sitting about and enjoying every comfort our world has to offer while people toil and suffer. At times, I feel as if I'm Platinum herself, enjoying lavish living while we are faced with threats of war, disease, lack of education, poverty..."
I suddenly feel queasiness in my head, but I need to stay focused, for her sake.
"You know Celestia, that is exactly why I'm glad this place has an immortal ruler. Because I know that however long it takes, however slowly the future moves, you'll be here to make sure that it still gets here. I know you'll see it through."
Just like I know I probably won't...
I shake the thought from my head. Dwelling on mortality is not something I really want to do at the moment.
I realize I forgot the other part of her concern, but I'm glad I caught it.
She still looks distraught enough to make me worry, but it's getting better, and that's definitely a good thing. Hay, even if I don't get any further, at least I helped somewhat. That's gotta count for something, right?
"Princess, you do know why you get the sort of treatment you do, right?"
I give the question a moment to sink in, but don't give her time to answer. "It's because you have the most singularly important and difficult job in Equestria. I think you work as hard as anyone. You just don't have anyone to compare to, is all.
Also, being immortal means that even after you make sure all the long, slow processes get done, everypony will still have the same ruler to trust and rely on. I mean, there's always going to be somepony who disagrees and tries to make trouble, but I think if anyone tried to do your job, they'd go crazy in a month."
I notice that she's actually smiling now, as I stop to put on a look of mock-contemplation for a moment. "Except me, but only 'cause I'm already crazy."
She laughs openly at the joke I had expected a chuckle for, and gives me a look of mock-disapproval. I smile at her and raise my eyebrows, suddenly noticing that I feel warm inside.
Still, I should still say one last thing, or else I'll be worried about the loose ends I never tied.
"Princess, we all make mistakes, and we all learn new things if we try. I'm sure it's not easy when you mess up on the kind of scale you deal with, but it's not like somepony else wouldn't make mistakes in the same position."
There's a silence, and she looks like she's weighing my words, so I give her a moment to do so. "Princess, did all that make sense to you?"
She crooks an eyebrow and smirks at me. "I suppose it would have to. You really are quite persuasive when you want to be."
For some reason, that compliment seems to be one of the most reassuring I've ever heard. I smile back at her, and we continue on our walk, with nothing else needing to be said.
"Oh, and you can just call me Celestia from now on."
That still didn't necessarily need to be said, per se, but you won't see me complaining.
And I suppose I'll need to make one other exception for something else that just now occurred to me.
"Well, Celestia, I do have one other thing I could possibly help you with." She gives me a mostly relaxed look of full attention during the brief pause. "You were saying about how there's poverty and lack of education? Well, I'm not a politician, but I think I just might now something you could do to speed it up a little..."
A couple of months and a few additional misadventures had gone by since Celestia's first barrel-ride. In that time, she had at times seen Shining more frequently than almost anyone, save her personal staff and her own sister.
Some weeks he would come three, four, even five or six times. Other times, a week or two would go by without him making any appearance. But even when he did not come for a visit, she would sometimes stumble upon surprises of various kinds.
It was well-known but rarely mentioned among her close associates that Celestia had a bit of difficulty with public speaking, and that she was more than a little self-conscious of it; the Princesses of Equestria do not speak publicly as often as many may think, and eloquence is a feat difficult to achieve, accomplished only through patient teachers and practiced students.
One morning, when she had a speech to prepare and had specifically asked Shining not to come for the past few days, she went to get her notes and found a simple box with a yellow ribbon tied a round it sitting atop them. Inside, there were various homemade chocolates, each a different flavour. Normally, she would not indulge in sweets at such a time, but they had been so lovingly prepared, she simply had to have one. And then two, and three, and seven. It was an odd thing, but they seemed to calm her stomach, and reduce her stress. When they were finished, she noticed that the bottom of the box bore an inscription that said simply:
Remember to stay sweet!
-Shining Smiles
And, surely enough, she thought of a few ways that she could have been a tad more polite over the past few days. She wondered briefly if he had been spying on her, then realized that he knew her well enough to know what she was like under stress anyhow.
Still though, even with general access, how and when did he get this box into there?
Another evening later in that week, when she was pacing in her bedroom and going over particulars, she heard a strange noise coming from her closet. When she opened it, a pie filled with whipped cream hit her squarely in the face. Her initial reaction was shock and rage, but after she noticed that Luna - whom had been standing in the doorway for who knows how long - was laughing to the point of tears, she too realized how ridiculous the situation was and laughed herself. The pie tray had a note attached to the bottom, which read:
SurPIES!
Don't get TOO serious!
You need to remember to laugh!
-Shining Smiles
Two days later, with three days before the speech, Luna was staying awake through part of the day to help Celestia. About the fourth time through the lengthy oration, however, Celestia noticed that Luna's studious eye was caught by something else. "Lulu, is something wrong?"
Luna sighed. "No, Tia, I'm just getting something to drink from the... well, what have we here?"
Luna came back from the neighbouring miniature wine cellar carrying a circular and exquisite looking cake with a rainbow of colours on one side and a rich blue with white spots over the other, kept safe under a clear cover. She smiled and chuckled, and spoke with a touch of teasing. "Well, Tia, I don't know how he gets in here, but I don't see any problem with it."
It was then that Celestia noticed and immediately snatched away the note that was attached to the dessert.
"Give me that!"
After she snatched the note away, her face flushed slightly, as she realized that she had spoken perhaps a little too forcefully... and a tad too loudly, as well.
Luna is no doubt feeling some strain as well, so this cake is for both of you to share.
That's why it has a rainbow on one side and a starry sky on the other - it matches your manes.
So share it.
Anyways, feel free to split it however you want, but I recommend cutting it into eighths. I've marked appropriate lines.
-Shining Smiles
Soon enough, one of the kitchen staff came running to ensure that the cake was cut properly. Celestia briefly considered stopping him, but it would be a shame to risk wasting any of it. Cooking was Shining’s artwork, and she was not one to trample on hard work and creativity of an artist.
After it had been cut, they found out that each eighth was a different flavour.
And how in the world did he manage this?
Royals don't need to be as regal when nopony is around, so Luna had no qualms about speaking with a mouth that was full of delicious cake. Somehow, she still spoke normally. "Incredible as both a baker and a chef. Quite the stallion, wouldn't you say so, Tia?"
Celestia, on the other hoof, did have reservations, but also had delicious cake, and so responded in a similar manner. She did take some solace in the knowledge that she could also speak clearly, not because of practice, but because of having somewhat less food in her mouth than her sometimes-slovenly sister. "I suppose he is."
Luna's eye took on something of a maniacal gleam, but Celestia failed to notice. Delicious cake will do that to you. "Yes, a good catch, even for a princess."
Celestia spoke in a slightly dreamy state, her mind clouded by the fluffy deliciousness.
"Yes, I suppose he would- .... wait, what?" Luna looked away with a smirk, and continued eating her second piece of cake.
"Oh, nothing, nothing."
For some reason, Celestia found herself feeling... confused, and rather flustered.
She didn't know why, or perhaps she didn’t want to know why, but she hid her reaction behind a mask of indignance, and looked away as if offered insult.
Did she just imply that...
No, obviously not. Don't be ridiculous. She's just making jokes.
The day of the speech itself, she found a note stuck to the podium, pulled it off, and read:
You'll do fine!
-Shining Smiles
When she looked up to the podium again, she found another note in the same place:
P.S.
I'll be here to congratulate you afterward, and then we're going for some fun!
-Shining Smiles
Still another was underneath that note, and she found this one most surprising:
P.P.S.
Also, look up near the middle of the crowd, on the left side.
-Shining Smiles.
When she did so, she found Shining himself, waving to her amidst the crowd of delegates, who were beginning to give her strange looks.
She suddenly found her face sinking behind her hoof.
Condescension and Confrontation
Twilight paced in her borrowed quarters. Her mane was a mess, her coat was a mess, her mind was a mess. Thoughts, questions, ideas, concerns, distractions; all of these together conspired to make her a very confused and worn out mare.
What if Discord was lying? What if he wasn't?
But what motivation could he possibly have lie?
I suppose he doesn’t really need one. This is Discord I’m dealing with...
Will Luna will react badly if I ask her?
What if I hint at the subject?
No. I need to ask directly... if I ask at all.
How do I know that she knows the truth?
Where will any of this even lead me?
Just as her brain was frying its own circuits, she heard an increasingly loud voice calling her name.
"Yes, Spike?"
"Twilight, you've been pacing and muttering to yourself for twenty minutes now. Will you please just tell me what's going on?"
He's not ready for this!
But... Maybe he'll be fine.
Maybe he could help.
She started speaking in a blur, describing all that had happened since they had come for their visit in odd and minute detail. Fortunately, Spike managed to get a word in edgewise and she slowed down, explaining from what had happened from when she saw Celestia the first night all the way to when she spoke to Discord.
Spike watched with a rather concerned expression, and waited patiently for her to finish. He had learned from his experience with Twilight how irritating it was to be interrupted during an explanation.
"So... what do we do now, Twilight?"
"That's precisely it. I don't know!"
Spike scratched the back of his head for a moment, then offered a question. "Well, why not just ask Luna? She probably knows what's going on as well as anyone. And she's pretty good at noticing what's going on. There's more to her than you might think."
The last part of what he said caught her attention. "And how do you suddenly know that?"
Spike was slightly surprised, but answered quite normally. "Well, I talked to her a lot while you were doing your research. She's got a lot to say when you really get talking to her.
Twilight, I know it sounds fishy because Discord told you to, but I think you should try it anyways. She's bound to know something."
I guess that's true.
"You're right. I'll go talk to her right now."
She was almost out the door when she turned back to Spike, who was apparently following her out, and added "oh, and I need you to find me anything you can about Celestia's past, especially in relation to Discord and Chaos Magic."
"Um... alright, but I kind of wanted to..."
And with that, Twilight was out the door.
"... go with you to talk to Luna... Well, time to get researching."
After some asking around and a bit of regular searching, Twilight managed to find Luna in her study, reading a book.
She took a moment to catch her breath and mentally go over her questions.
"Luna, I need to speak to you about something."
Luna left her book open, but looked up to Twilight. She had a warm smile on her face. "Yes, Twilight Sparkle? What hast thou come to ask us of?"
"I need to know about Discord. And Celestia. And Chaos Magic. And whatever else is going on that's making Celestia act so strangely!"
"We see."
Luna looked down for a moment, sighed, and set the book aside. She spoke calmly, in somber tones.
"Tell us, Twilight Sparkle, why didst thou cometh to us for this knowledge?"
Sometimes, Twilight spoke before she thought.
"Discord told me to ask you."
Luna's eyes widened, and she reeled. "Discord? Why in Equestria wouldst thou speak-"
"Because, she keeps acting strange when I mention Chaos Magic or Discord, and she's been acting depressed and... and I saw it! I saw Celestia, late at night, when no one was looking, she went out and-"
Luna raised a hoof to silence Twilight. Her eyes were closed, and her face bore a hardened expression.
"Enough, Twilight Sparkle. We know already of our sister's secret doings. We will tell you what we can."
Tinted Lenses, Tinted Glass
“... To summarize the final part of this discourse, with these simple reforms, we will be able see an almost complete elimination of poverty in major cities within the decade, and across most of Equestria within a decade more.”
The attendants applauded vigorously, and especially Shining, who lept up and down while waving and whistling.
The speech had gone a bit better than usual, and the delegates seemed pleased enough. Celestia, on the other hand, was all too aware of dozens of small flaws she could, and indeed should, improve on. And some of the flaws... weren't so small.
Shining, in a move that had pleasantly surprised Celestia, managed to stay well-behaved and reassuring through the entire discourse. By the end of it, she was glad to have a friend among the crowd, even if he did draw some strange looks for his... less than formal attire.
But it was over now, and the one and only Shining Smiles was accompanying her down a hallway, through shadows of tinted glass, toward a bright and sunny day outside.
She pulled herself from her thoughts, and tuned back in to her current surroundings.
Oddly enough, Shining was not in the middle of an elaborate conversation. He seemed to be walking quietly, a smile painted on his face.
"Well, Shining, you're unusually quiet today. Something on your mind?"
He took a moment before responding. "Lots of of things! But that's not why I'm not talking as much as I usually do. I just like the tinted glass and the stone hallway. It's really nice!"
Celestia smiled at the simple warmth of his words. It was so very like him.
A stallion of simple pleasures.
“And some of them... some of them are really interesting. So much symbolism, so much history. They tell us so much more than old books do. Ponies don’t always think about it, but the artists pour their hearts into these things, and they’re so proud of their achievements, especially when they get the honour of having their work put up in the royal castle.” Shining chuckled. “It’s only fair that we appreciate their work.”
She looked at him with a mixture of surprise, interest, and amusement. “You’re full of surprises, you know that?”
She walked along with him, noticing the same old windows with a new eye. It was surprising how much she had missed before. Many had bright, beautiful designs, through which the sunlight filtered to create a dazzling display, and others which spun narratives of heroes and wars and many other things. Celestia noticed several of herself, and noticed moreso that Shining was paying particular attention to these. She smiled and turned to a recently installed depiction of Starswirl the bearded, and Clover the Clever, his faithful student.
It must be nice having a faithful student to learn from you. Maybe I'll have one myself someday.
She realized that eventually all of these windows would bear narratives, as it was the custom to install new histories as they occurred. She pondered it until something else gave her mind a good jab. "Shining, I wanted to thank you for... well, for the... surprises and such over the past couple of weeks. I needed them. And those desserts were magnificent!"
Shining beamed. "Thanks for the compliment! I hope they were fit for a Princess."
"Indeed they were."
She felt a bit better for having shown gratitude, and they walked on in relaxed silence for a moment, but Celestia felt another jab in her mind. "Shining, I really should thank you. Not just for the cake and the chocolate, and being there at my speech, but for... well, for everything. You've made me laugh when I needed to, you've been there when I needed you, you even somehow made my most unpleasant duties enjoyable. You always make me feel..."
Simply wonderful.
A sudden inner warmth came and went, and Celestia's face flushed. she stopped in her tracks for several seconds, then shook her head and continued as if nothing had happened. "...better. You make me feel better every time you come by."
Another warm, reassuring smile from Shining.
"Well, that's enough to make me happy."
As they sat and relaxed beneath the same tree that they had on Shining's first visit, and several other times since, ridiculous but persistent thoughts hung on the edge of Celestia's mind.
She tried to drown them out with fresh fruit and interesting conversation, but they kept coming back.
He's a great friend... and a great stallion. He's fun, charming, witty, kind, unquestionably unique...
But why is he making me feel so...
She gave her head a violent shake.
I think the stress from the speech has driven me slightly mad.
I'm just tired. I'm not thinking straight.
"Uh, Celestia, you've been staring at me for a couple of minutes now. I don't mind, 'cause I get a better look at those beautiful eyes of yours that way, but is anything wrong?"
"Nothing you need to worry about, Shining."
She looked around for something to talk about. She was glad to find a worthy topic.
However do you make such delicious meals?"
"Well, my neighbour is a baker, and he's a good friend of mine. I taught him some things about desserts, and he taught me some things about breads and stuff."
"Interesting. I'll have to meet him someday."
Shining nodded silently, and smiled.
And now I feel slightly concerned.
Shining looked up, into the sky, and the sun shone through and around him in a beautiful golden colour, adding a glow about his body and light to his mane.
Again I feel so... so...
She lost herself again for a moment, but decided to float on for the moment this time. It was such a nice place to be, after all.
"Say, Shining, I don't suppose you still have those padded barrels?"
"Do I? Well of course I do!"
Celestia chuckled as he produced the same barrels from behind the same tree, with the same vigor he had the first time.
I wonder if he'll always be like this.
Well, I suppose he'll...
...grow old... someday...
"Celestia? Are you there?"
She pushed away the hoof that Shining was waving in front of her face, and smiled.
"Of course I am. Let's get rolling!"
They each hopped into their barrels, and began the long trip down the hill.
"So, what's been bothering you, Celestia?"
Shining spoke frankly, and Celestia appreciated it, even if the unusual choice of approach took some getting used to.
She looked around to make sure they had not been followed, and continued walking into the garden, silently asking for a moment to collect her thoughts. They strode on for a few more moments, and she looked from his sun-dappled face to the soft grass below the canopy more than a few times.
It was a warm, concerned, and trustworthy face. One that almost spoke without words, saying 'I'm here, and I'll be staying here. I want to listen. Please, talk to me.'
"Is it me?"
She turned to him with a look of shock, suddenly noticing the disconcerted edge in his tone. "What?"
"Is the problem me? Am I being a nuisance, or creating some issue for you? It wouldn't be the first time I've done that..."
Both stopped, and Celestia was slightly stunned for a moment. She had never seen Shining look quite so vulnerable, so fragile, and yet... in the midst of it, he was resolute, determined to be accepting.
The expected reaction she had seen a million times would be to shout 'Oh no no! Of course not!' or somesuch. Celestia suspected it would not work so well for Shining, so instead she placed a hoof on his shoulder, looked deep into his eyes, and spoke in a sincere, warm voice, as if playing the role of friend and mother at once.
"Shining, the only problems you've caused me are a messy mane and cheeks that are sore from smiling. You've been a great friend to me." She paused for a moment, suddenly realizing that she had not thought of them sharing a close friendship before. "You take some of the weight of my kingdom from my shoulders, and brighten my darker days. And above all, I can trust you and speak openly with you. That alone is enough to abundantly make up for the occasional mess you create in my halls."
More than half of what she said had gone through her lips before it went through her mind, but she realized the truth of each part as she said it.
He himself bore a warm and reassured smile now, and so she felt perhaps it was best to move on. "In fact, that is why I chose you to speak to. Would you be willing to give a listening ear? To be entirely frank, I think I just need someone to complain to." She allowed herself to smile sheepishly at him, and in response, Shining seemed to recover a large portion of his normal strength, and they continued walking.
"Sounds good to me. Really, I think we all need that, sometimes. So, what would you like to complain about?"
Celestia huffed, and sighed, and looked away. She looked back to Shining, who seemed somewhat concerned, but also confident this time, and realized that if she could not speak openly with him now, she could not expect herself to be able to do so when she needed to elsewhere.
"Luna. It's about Luna."
Shining looked up at Celestia, with a eyes that seemed puzzled and a smile that was smug. She doubted one last time if it was really appropriate to do this, but decided there was only one way to find out. And besides that point, it would help show that she was, at heart, still a pony, with all the same vulnerabilities and flaws other ponies had.
"What about Luna?"
Startled from her train of thought, Celestia failed to remember the lines she had hoped to use to begin this conversation. "Well... it's hard to explain."
Shining gave her a look that said he wouldn't be accepting excuses. "We've got time."
He was right, of course, and with the option of stalling taken, she had only the option of trying as best she could. "I am often very busy, as you certainly know, and I am frequently very stressed. It's not easy trying to rule whole kingdom, and then at the same time, to deal with personal problems. And not just my own personal problems, but those of others. Ponies come to me for help, for advice, and I'm glad to help them, but it's difficult. Oftentimes, Luna is a great help to me. She listens, and I feel like my burden is lightened. But sometimes, she just adds to it. And lately, she's been doing that fairly often."
She paused and allowed their gazes to meet, and was glad to find understanding in his bright eyes.
They stopped in the shade of a large oak tree, long grassy paths winding out long between the trees in front of them and to either side.
Shining's voice was soft, his tone inquisitive. "How so?"
Celestia tilted her head to each side, and felt some of her apprehension return. "Well, we rule side by side," a smile crept onto her face "but I'm still her big sister. Sometimes she tries to give me tips and advice about things, but it's irritating opinions she thinks are truths just as often as it is actually useful information. 'You need to get out more, Tia.' 'One must choose their friends wisely, Tia.' 'Balance is important, Tia.' 'Cake is bad for your health, Tia.' It drives me mad, sometimes."
Shining had a silly grin plastered on his face. "Well, you do need to get out more, Tia. "
Celestia pursed her lips and gave him an unamused look, then playfully punched him in the shoulder.
"Ow! Hey!"
Celestia could not help putting on a goofy grin. She had always wanted to do that to somepony.
When that moment had passed, she continued on.
"And a lot of the time, she comes to me for advice about things. I want to help her, but I don't always have answers. And I try to work something out, but sometimes I end up giving her advice and later realizing it was irrelevant, or unusable, or even downright harmful.
In addition, it makes it harder for me. She asks my advice more often than I ask hers, and it almost puts us on separate levels somehow. I've been trying to seek her help more often, but even though that makes me feel like we're more equal, it hurts her view of me as someone who can always help her. And yet, who do I have to lean on?"
She looked at the ground with a depressed expression, and paused for a long moment.
"Oh, I must sound like-"
"You have me."
Celestia looked up, too surprised at being cut off to be certain of what she had heard, and found Shining wearing a bright smile. "What?"
"You want someone to be there for you? Well, you have me. I don't know how much help somepony like me can be for you, what with you being an immortal Princess and me being a regular earth pony, but I'll be here, rain or shine, and I'll help you in any way I can. I may not be able to be your powerful guardian, but I can still be your friend, and I know I can give you a relaxing day or a listening ear. For what it's worth, I'm here for you."
Celestia briefly paused in hesitation, winced, and, opting to act against her better judgement for once, threw a crushing hug around him. "Thank you, Shining."
After his initial shock, he returned the sign of affection enthusiastically, and the two stayed there for a long moment. It was a wonderful moment of connection and understanding, which lasted until they both realized that it had been an abnormal amount of time, and pulled away, their faces a vibrant red.
Celestia defaulted to a partial change of subject to break the silence. "Well, I think I've said enough about Luna, but something else is troubling me." Shining looked up at her with a quizzical expression, giving her the cue to continue. "Earlier, you thought you were the problem that was troubling me. I can understand why such a possibility might perhaps cross your mind, but you were very quick to conclude that it was the case. And you said that it had happened before?"
His face now bore a saddened half-smile, and he would only meet her gaze very briefly. "I must admit, that was quite perceptive."
Celestia smiled back in some attempt to ease the situation. "Well, I've been learning with the best." She punctuated the word "best" with a nod toward him, but she wasn't sure if he saw it.
He looked as if he was swishing the words around in his mouth, unsure as to whether he should spit them out. Celestia was unsure whether she should ask, but reasoned that the painful procedure of removing thorns was the only way to allow the wound to heal.
Perhaps part of him just very much wanted him to ask, to pry. She had experienced that feeling before, but even if it was a unspoken realization that they both shared, it still showed sincere concern for her to oblige him. And besides that, he had just done so for her.
"Please, Shining? I can't force you to tell me, but I truly want to know."
He looked away, and raised his face toward her just enough to look at her sideways. His voice dropped into an uncharacteristically defeated tone.
"Well, it's... not much of a story. I just tend to be the sort of pony who doesn't keep friends. I tend to meet a lot of new ponies, which I love doing, but sooner or later I become more of a bother to them than anything." He took a deep breath, and sighed. "They never tell me anything, either. They just start being busy every time I invite them out, or too tired to spend time when I see them, or I never find them at all."
The quiet resignation on his face was a painful sight to Celestia. She would not have guessed that someone so energetic, so outgoing would be suffering such clear-cut loneliness. And yet... it all made sense. She began to wonder if he would be an irritation to her, if she saw him so often. It was a guilty thought, and it made her feel sadder for him, but she brushed it off when she realized that she had rarely grown tired of him even during his most frequent visits. And he was unusually understanding of the few times she wanted to be left alone.
Several realizations flashed through her mind in the span of a few seconds, accumulating in an epiphany.
He was strange, and energetic, and surprisingly intelligent. Keeping up with him would likely be difficult for many ponies, in a number of ways. And many wouldn't care enough to meet that challenge.
No, he would be fun at first, but then he would want a friend, not just an audience, and many ponies wouldn't like that idea. But he was too nice to be openly rejected or shunned, so they simply diverted him gradually, avoiding and ignoring him until he gave up.
She suddenly realized how attached he was to her and the few other friends he had mentioned, how important his friends were to him.
For all he had to give, he had almost no one. And as far as he knew, he might just be a bother to the people he did have.
He never felt sure that his friendships were anything more than illusions.
And in a world where friendships were such an overwhelmingly large facet of a pony’s life...
Celestia snapped back from this train of thought in time to hear him say it aloud. "It's hard to know if someone's not just putting up with me. I only ever find out if I corner them, and then it's too late to solve things between us."
A long silence descended on them, uninterrupted but for the sound of their hooves on the dirt and grass, until Celestia finally broke it with a simple, sad realization. "That must hurt quite a bit."
"It does."
Celestia hung her head for a moment, already feeling deep regret even as she wracked her brain for something comforting to say.
A smirk formed on her muzzle as she realized just the thing to say.
"You have me."
Shining looked up at her again, his features contorted slightly in a confused expression and his eyes filled with battered hope. The image faded after a second, though, and was replaced by a small smile, which in turn became a look of mischievous joy. "I see what you did there."
They both laughed a bit, which eased the tension, but the emotional gravity of everything they had spoken about crept back into the air.
"Truly though, Shining, I know you have at least a small handful of true friends. Friends who like you for who you are, and who truly appreciate you. From what I've heard, you can count your friend Cinnamon Toast among them; and I know for a fact you can count me. Even though you are frustrating at times, I can't excuse that you've been truly helpful to me in several ways." Celestia quickly turned away before continuing, not noticing that a slight rosiness was developing in her cheeks. "And your visits are always a highlight of my week."
She realized a moment too late that she had for some reason spoken this last line a bit sheepishly, and in a manner not unlike a nervous schoolfilly forcing out a confession.
However, Shining visibly beamed at the statement, and that was enough to make it worth saying. "Really, Shining, too many ponies are surrounded with friends but do not have any such close and loyal friendships. You may not be in the best of situations this way, but you are far from the worst." She cast her head back, as if basking in limelight, and donned her cheesiest imitation of narcissism and pride. "I would say you're lucky. Do you know how many ponies wish they could be friends with a Princess?"
They both burst out laughing, and walked on past the foliage to a bright, warm day.
The day after her speech, Celestia woke up surprisingly early. It was her day off, so she and Luna had arranged in such a way that the sun would be raised without needing to wake her, and thus she could sleep in.
But she had woken up early and with a fair bit of energy that morning, for she had an idea.
She was going to surprise Shining Smiles by visiting his home!
Oh, and she would bring him some of the finest baking ingredients and party supplies, which he would be sure to love, and to top it all off, she would get to meet that neighbour of his.
He was a baker too, wasn't he?
Her mind drifted back to the day before. She remembered the confusion, the strange feelings... and she briefly held on to the vague hope that it had all been a dream.
It had not.
I was tired. That's all. End of story.
She let the thought fade away for the moment, and started going over her checklist of items.
"Baking dishes, check. Sixteen different flours, check. Special imported milk..."
Oh, he is going to love this.
She had grown more and more excited as the chariot drew near to Shining's address, which she had had one of her servants find the day before.
The smile on her face faded as the chariot pulled up to the home.
"Swiftwing, are you certain this is the right address?"
"I am positive, your majesty. Would you like me to escort you in?"
"No, I'll be fine. I don't want to draw too much more attention, so if you could go, I'll summon you when I'm ready to leave."
"As you wish."
Swiftwing took off toward the skies, and Celestia turned to look at the home.
She took a good look at the building, and it was quite a sight to see.
It was livable, she supposed. She hoped.
The first thing she noticed was the grass, which was crowded with weeds, and ragged at best in the healthier patches.
The second was the roofing and the walls, which were tattered, to say the least.
The walls were stained, the roof leaned, and of two low windows, one was boarded up, and the other was just out of reach. Sections of wood seemed to be rotting, and others had small holes.
She turned the flimsy knob and pushed open the grimy door, with a good shove and a loud creak.
The cleanest item in the house was the oven, which sat next to a small fireplace. It was of medium size, and showed signs of long use. It had clearly seen better days.
Other than this, there was a bed, a single chair, and table. Celestia's eyes did not want to see more than the simple shapes of this furniture, but she forced them to.
She forced them to see the chips, the poor craftsmanship, the stains, the tears... and when she made them look beyond the furniture it only got worse.
She noticed the mould in the corner, the leaks in the roof, the carpet that had been so worn down that a once elaborate pattern could barely be distinguished.
Celestia noticed the room becoming blurry, and then heard the soft tapping of her own tears on the floor. Even then, she noticed a slight draft in the room. This home would be cold, come winter.
How...
How long has he been living like this?
And I had no idea...
If only I had asked.
And how many others are living this way?
She remembered the reforms Shining had helped her to plan. Suddenly his knowledge of the impoverished in Canterlot made a great deal of sense.
But reforms or none, she could hardly bear thinking of the implications.
Thankfully, she was taken away from these thoughts when she heard a knock at the entrance.
"Shining, buddy, are you in there? I know how things have been lately, so I brought some groceries for you."
An earth pony with a warm brown coat and a slightly darker brown mane opened the door with another loud tuk-THUNK. She realized that the wood must have been swollen from years of accumulated moisture.
"Shining? Where are- Princess Celestia!? What in Equestria- I mean, your majesty, what brings you this area?"
She looked up at him, trying to take in as much information as she could by his appearance. He was neatly dressed, meaning that he was not as poor as... as Shining was. He had a loaf of bread cutie mark. And as he had said, he did indeed have a bag of groceries in his hooves. "I am looking for someone. Would you mind telling me where you live?"
"I... a few houses over, and across the street, your majesty."
She nodded. So, he's a baker, he's a neighbour, and he seems to be helpful...
"Who did you come here to see?"
The brown stallion looked around slightly, and shifted in place, but spoke calmly.
"I came to see a friend of mine, named Shining Smiles. He's a good stallion, but he can be a bit annoying at times... anyways, he's been having some tough times lately, so I just thought I could help him out a bit..."
Celestia gave up the facade of excessive seriousness, and her expression softened. She gave a weak smile, which retained a touch of sadness. "Any friend of Shining Smiles is a friend of mine. May I ask your name?"
The stallion looked surprised and relieved. "I'm Cinnamon Toast, and you have no idea how relieved I am to hear that. I thought he had gotten into some serious trouble. He does get into a bit of trouble from time to time, but when I saw you in here..."
Celestia chuckled, but the happy expression on her face was quick to fade. "Well, he's not in any trouble with me, but he does seem to have a bit of a problem here. Do you know where he is right now?"
"Well, yesterday he said he might be going to visit this mare he's been seeing all the time. He talks about her a lot, but he refuses to say her name... or a lot of things about her. I suppose I just thought that was Shining being Shining, and he was always really happy when he came back from visiting her, so I decided not to ask. From what he says, she really is quite an amazing pony."
Celestia's face took on a reddish tone. "I see. Anyways, I think I'd like to help him out, and you as well. Tell me, how would you like to come and join my staff at Canterlot? If your cooking is liking Shining's, I'd be glad to have you on staff, and I could give you an excellent kitchen, not to mention living quarters, and fair pay. Your family may join you, if you have any."
Cinnamon Toast passed out on the spot.
Celestia had the better part of Shining's few possessions loaded into a second chariot by the time Cinnamon woke up.
She turned to him and spoke as if the conversation had gone uninterrupted. "So, will you be joining us?"
Cinnamon looked bewildered. "That wasn't a dream?"
"No, it was not a dream. I really did offer you a place in my kitchen staff. Will you accept?"
"Of course I will! That's... this is the best thing that's happened to me since... since forever!"
Celestia smiled. "Well, you've probably helped him out many times, so you may consider this the reward for your generosity."
He went to say something else, but she put up a hoof. "There is no need. I will come back the day after tomorrow to get you, so pack your things."
In truth, she just didn't want to hear much more of his verbose unnecessary details at the moment.
And when I come to get him, I can ask him what Shining said about me.
Should be interesting.
Even though she took everything in his home, since she did not know what of it he still might want, Shining's few items would likely have fit into a single chariot, if it had not already been occupied by the baking supplies she was going to bring him. She had two extra chariots brought anyhow, however, in case it proved to be too large or burdensome.
She got into the chariot, and waved Cinnamon goodbye before taking off toward the castle.
I think it was about twenty minutes talking to Luna before Celestia came into the room. Well, twenty minutes in this lounge space, but I'm not complaining about that, 'cause it's a pretty comfortable lounge. My hooves were still slightly sore from all the walking, though. It was the usual twenty minutes or so to get here, but then we spent another hour looking around for Celestia, and then another hour and half just touring the castle...
Anyways, it was a lot of walking. Not a big bother, though, since Luna also had some pretty good conversation to make. Not quite like Celestia, but still, it wasn't half bad.
But she's here, and I've been wondering where she went. I was also wondering about that odd expression on her face - it seemed to be happy, but there was concern underneath it. "Celestia, where were you? I've been here for almost three hours now!"
"I was just... talking a trip around town, Shining. Oh, and I wanted to ask you something."
Ah, that should be it.
"Shining, how would you like to stay here, in the castle, with me and Luna?"
I'm not sure I heard correctly. The castle seemed like a pretty nice place to spend some time, though, if I did. I smiled at her, and didn't hide my slight confusion.
"For how long?"
"Permanently, Shining. I'm offering you a place to stay here, with us, as my friend and perhaps a sort of jester and baker, if you wish."
Okay, this time I know heard right. But.. that's a big change to make. A fun change to make.
No, I should take this more seriously. I have to think through this decision.
Oh, who the hay am I kidding. I'd love to live here. It's a great place, and I come here all the time anyways, and I'd get to see Celestia every day!
"Well Celestia, I don't see why I wouldn't like that."
Wait a minute. Why is she suddenly offering for me to come stay with her...
And she just got back from town.
Ah. I see.
"Celestia, where did you really go just now?"
She looked away and toward the ground for a moment, but turned back pretty quickly. I guess you learn to look most ponies in the eye when you're royalty.
She still does have the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen.
"Shining, I went to visit you at home, but of course you weren't there, so I went in looking for you..."
Her expression suddenly became much more serious, and much more worried.
Annnnd here it comes. "Shining, you're one of my closest friends, I won't have you living in such conditions if I can help it. You deserve better, Shining. And I want to have you around whenever I want to see you, and not have to worry about you when you're gone."
Ah, pity. Yes, everyone loves that.
Her eyes looked almost ready to cry, and her voice lost a bit of its composure. It dug a little deeper into my heart when it did, and a large part of me wanted to comfort her.
"Shining, I can't stand to see a someone as important to me as you are forced to live in those conditions. I want to know that you're here, that you're safe, that... that you're going to be here when I need you, and not freezing or hungry or soaking wet somewhere I can't see you. I already brought all of your things, and your friend Cinnamon Toast is going to be coming to join the kitchen staff."
Ah, Cinnamon Toast. He's a good guy. Always been around when I needed him, and he's done more than his share of favors for me.
And she's right, there's no real reason for me to go back to that awful place. As mother always said, don't turn down pity out of pride.
I get a bit of my usual thoughts back together, and I manage to make my response a soft one, and a bit funny. I put a smile on. Frowns don't belong on this face, after all!
"Celestia, you had me at Jester, and you have me now. If Cinnamon is on board, well, that's just even better!"
I realize my manners in time not to spoil the moment. "Thank you, Celestia. I appreciate it. I really do."
I go up and give her a hug. It feels excellent, and I let it go on just a little bit longer than someone else might. And another little bit.
Oh dear, now I'm starting to cry a little.
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A Stern Talking To (Of Foppish Foals and Cutting Words)
A Stern Talking To (Of Foppish Foals and Cutting Words)
It was Shining's third day staying at the castle, and he was absolutely loving it. It was all at once cute, funny, heartwarming, and somewhat sad to hear him explain how he enjoyed such things as the warm, soft bed, the abundant hot food, and the ability to completely shut out nasty weather. He also mentioned repeatedly how much he enjoyed being able to walk down a couple of hallways and see Celestia any time he liked.
On this particular morning, he had slept in, and by the time he awoke, Celestia would already be on the throne, tending to some duty or other. He knew that she would be busy, but he felt good being near her, and he usually checked on her before going about his own business anyways.
This morning, when he walked in, he noticed a fancily dressed pony, complete with top hat, tuxedo, monocle, and snobby expression. He also noticed that Celestia looked plainly upset, and so he immediately tuned into the conversation and began listening in earnest.
“No, I denied the request for a reason. You can’t call half the land the ‘uneducated and oft-barbaric inhabitants of the lower regions!’”
Looking more closely, he noticed that her eyes were glowing slightly.
Well, that’s... different.
It clearly wasn’t about the court and the request anymore, so there was no reason to pretend that it was. “She told you it was rejected, and she told you why. What is the problem?”
"The problem? The problem here is that her Majesty , if she might so be called, is making a mockery of the courts of our land! You don't care how you run this place, do you? That is why your incompetence reigns so freely!"
Shining had seen enough. "Stop that. Right now. Celestia is a fine ruler, and you know it. You just want to grab for some status, but you won't be getting any of that here. Now leave."
"Oh, I know you! ” The stallion’s face twisted into something to the tune of arrogance mixed with insanity. “You’re the impoverished mud pony that found its way to defile this court! A fine ruler? Why, she doesn't care for you or me or anypony! She'll just outlive us all anyways, so why even bother?"
Celestia was stunned. She was clearly enraged, but there was hurt beneath it. A very deep, very real sort of hurt. And that fancily dressed stallion knew it
That knowledge must blinded him, however, for he took no note of the sun itself going slightly dimmer, or the increasing glow of Celestia’s eyes and general person. The changes were small for the moment, but increasing all too rapidly, and the combination of them was frightening. Shining noticed even her mane and tail beginning to sparkle like a crackling flame.
Oh, that is bad. That is very, very bad.
One the stallion’s attacks had connected at last, in his attempt to find a weak spot on Celestia.
And it would get him killed if nothing changed.
"You're making any attack you can, aren't you?"
The pony turned his obnoxiously disposed, ever-snobbish face toward Shining. "Pardon me?"
The sunlight strengthened, and Celestia’s glow dimmed. Good. It’s working.
"It's not that you didn't hear me; you just wanted a moment to think, and you hope that I'll back down, or slip further into some ridiculous caricature of something that you can consider below yourself. I said it before and I'll say it again: You're making any attack you can, no matter how low. And why? Maybe you think that everyone does. Oh, right, they don't. Anyone who is witty or clever or who has the moral high grounds, they win without that, don't they. Really, you're fully aware that every time you do that, you've already lost. But it doesn't matter, does it? Because every time you do it, you do it to someone who can't stand against your fat bags of money."
The pony looked disgusted and outraged. "Oh, are you getting upset? I'm sorry, you're about to tell me that you earned that money, or that you deserve it, aren't you? That's what daddy always told you, isn't it? Daddy who never had time for you, but always had time to explain that you had money because you were better than everyone else, so of course you should use it to show them that you are.
I'll let you in on a secret. He never really bought that trash, and neither did you. But you liked the idea. Just like him, your selfish, crude instincts bought right into it. But not without a cost.
The decision made you lose someone, did it not? I know it made you lose something . Because you come in here with all the rage of a stallion who poured his blood and soul into his work and lost the results. And you know you're losing them, don't you, moneybags?
And not just that. You're losing yourself. You come in here, and act confident, and superior and intelligent. You know you aren't those things. You're a rich, lazy pony who gets by on what might be charm or what just might be other ponies' greed or fear - you can never tell for sure. You can't even tell if your closest friend is really there for you as a person. You say things to sound smart, and no one knows that you stole those things from others, and that every time you're agreed with you worry that it's just because you're rich.
It eats away at you, does it not? And it's been eating away at you so long there's nothing left.
And you still can't let go of the money, the status, the power. It's stolen all you are and you cling to it like a foal clings to its mother."
The pony was now backing away, his eyes wide, his monocle dangling beyond his notice. By this point he was being spoken to by eyes of burning coal perched atop voice of cold steel.
"And guess what else? Your home life is empty. Your wife? She doesn't care about you. She just wants another fancy dress to wear to the Gala, and perhaps some Ponesian rugs to adorn your sparkling floors. Sparkling floors, I might add, which nopony has ever danced upon freely, because no one has fun in your enormous, empty house.
All you're left with at the end of the day is a cold room, with a greedy, lifeless thing that probably pretends to love you, and the cold realization that you have become an empty husk of what you once were and could have been, only following a dull, empty routine of conniving and backstabbing and bullying on your way to a cold, lonely grave.
Tell the worms I say hello."
The stallion stood wide-eyed, mouth open, and twitched. "What... WHAT ARE YOU!?"
Shining positioned his own face in front of the other stallion's, and looked him dead in the eye with a piercing gaze. "I am everything that strikes fear into your cold and empty heart. I am the symbol of all that you despise. I am the picture of need, of nobility, of aggression, of loyalty, and of all that stands between you and your petty goals. I am the lens that lets your pathetic mind look at all that is around it, and sends the protective dome of your own ignorance crashing down around you."
The fancily dressed pony shook, and shivered, and went pale. His mouth quivered as if he was about to say something, but nothing came out.
"You will leave, immediately, or I will hurt you. And you will never, ever attempt to bully any of my friends, or anyone I ever see you taking advantage of, or I will make very certain you can never bully anyone ever again.
Now go."
The stallion turned slowly, and had a sort of staggered, wooden walk as he exited.
Celestia looked on with her mouth partially open, and saw as Shining heaved a large sigh and appeared noticeably more tired.
"Shining, how did you just do that?"
Her face was concerned, and slightly shocked. Shining found looking her in the eye to be painful.
"Years of reading ponies and practicing clever words and wit, Celestia. This isn't me... or at least not who I want to be. I just can't stand ponies who attack ponies' vulnerabilities like that, and when he did it to you, I decided I had seen enough. Don't worry, part of what I said will fade away when he realizes I was just tearing into him, and the other part will probably wake him up a little bit. At least he'll think twice before doing this again."
She waited for a joke to come from his mouth, for a smile to form on his lips. None did.
"Celestia, I'm... I'm sorry you had to see that. I think took it too far, and I hate being that cold and cruel. I don't usually look at ponies in that way, so you know. It's just when... when I feel like I really have to." He looked away, then turned back and looked her in the eye. “And to be honest, Celestia, I was worried you’d make a mistake if I didn’t do something.”
Celestia nodded weakly, and a long moment passed between them.
Finally, she met looked him in the eye and put on a small, genuine smile. "It's alright, Shining. I won't hold it against you; in fact, thank you for helping me. I think you right to intervene; it’s been a long time since I’ve been that angry, and he would likely have received much worse if he had continued and you were not here."
She got off her throne and walked to him, finally bringing a curve to his lips as she pulled him into a hug.
"Alright Luna, what is it that you wanted to talk to me about?"
Luna had a strange look in her eyes. "Well sister, I've been wondering: what do you think about him?"
Celestia looked up and met her sister's eyes. Evidently, she was puzzled. "What do I think about who, Lulu?"
Luna smiled. "About the jester. The one who has been dropping by for ages always seeking your attention and your smile? He lives here now, does he not? What was his name... oh, Smiles something?"
Celestia felt a slight buildup of heat forming in her face. Her eyes narrowed slightly, and her eyebrows furrowed.
"Why did you ask his name when you already know it?"
"Why did you ask who I'm talking about when you already know it?"
Celestia gave a defeated sigh.
"Fair enough. He's... well..." She found herself at a loss for words. "He's... infuriating and endearing all at once. I find him both magnificent and irritating in the extreme." She pondered for a moment. "Furthermore, when he's not welcoming himself into my presence, he's intruding into my thoughts. He's a very strange pony; I've never met any like him."
Luna looked up and away for a moment, as if planning her next move in a chess game. "And what of what happened earlier?"
"Well... it is a bit concerning, but... I have never seen him doing that before. I suppose it may not have been the best course of action, but I feel a sort of gratitude for it. It almost made me feel... safe, in a manner of speaking. I feel like he would always be there to help me, even if all my other subjects deserted me."
Luna nodded, and a broad smile spread itself across her lips as her voice took on a mischievous tone. She sounded like a filly who had been successful in a practical joke, savouring the moment when her victim realized what had transpired. "Oh, Tia. You really are in love with him, aren't you? And here I thought I was making assumptions."
Celestia's flushed face and wide eyes complemented the shaky, uneasy tone in her voice. Luna was suddenly stricken with severe giggling. "I-I... you... Of course not! He's infuriating! How could I..." As Celestia trailed off into an incoherent babbling, Luna burst out into open laughter.
Celestia's jabbering condensed into anger and shock.
"What is so funny?"
Luna simply shook her head, still giggling. "Tia, you've been smiling every time you talked about him. You're still doing it now."
The eternally alabaster cheeks of the great Princess Celestia suddenly took on a cherry red color, and the stupid grin she had disappeared instantly.
She attempted several times to start speaking, but each time only half a word managed to get through her uncooperative mouth.
Laughing once more, Luna shook her head, and gave her sister a pat on the shoulder. "Oh, Tia. When will you learn?"
Celestia's babbling turned into silence, but the redness and frustrated expression of her face remained.
Luna smiled once more, in a sincerely warm way. "Tia, I would consider it an injustice for a pony of any station, even a princess, to be ashamed of loving such a stallion."
Luna exited at a leisurely pace, permitting herself one more small bout of laughter before adding "I would say he has earned a fair chance, wouldn't you?"
And with that, she left a still-stunned Celestia to her thoughts.
"So she did that because-"
"Because it is like his grave to her, Twilight Sparkle. Discord took her best friend and her only love so completely that it was all she had left. The final monument, and the only thing that still bespoke his existence."
It all makes sense now.
Twilight's mind was a jumble of thoughts and emotions. Luna had said quite a bit, and the sudden revelations were all proving to be a bit too much.
In truth, Twilight was still unclear on some things, but she could not take any more of this conversation at the moment.
"Perhaps now thou dost see why we prefer not to speak of this history. Indeed, it was the most troubled time in our sister's life. In truth, we do not believe she has ever fully recovered."
Twilight made a shift to leave before she fell into even more of a daze. "I see. Thank you for telling me... all of this, Princess Luna. I think I should get back; Spike will be waiting for me."
Luna smiled at her. "Perhaps you should."
A still mentally-jumbled Twilight finally got back to her quarters, and found Spike there waiting for her.
Paying him little regard in that moment, she quietly shut the door and slumped against it in defeat.
"Twilight, you look awful! What happened?"
"Luna told me about everything ... but I'm more confused than anything. She said about this pony who Celestia fell in love with, and Chaos Magic, and Discord and... all sorts of things. It almost seemed like... like she was trying to be confusing."
Noticing that Twilight had stopped speaking for the moment, Spike took the opportunity to proudly display a book he had found. Its cover was dark with many years of dust, and it was singed in several places. Twilight's trained eye also noticed signs of water damage.
"I think this book might be helpful. And it wasn't very easy to find, either."
"But... I searched for days... where did you find it? In fact, what is that book even about?"
Spike donned his proudest expression of joyous accomplishment.
"Well, I realized that after five days you probably found most of the stuff about it that would be in the Archives, so I didn't bother looking there. But I did find out that there was an old weird section with old weird books in a hard to reach part of the library. Some of them were even about Chaos Magic, but I found this one tucked away behind some others, and it looked even better."
The book was very faded, but still held a deep green colour. Opening it revealed a title, inscribed in elegant font, that read The Diary of Princess Celestia. Upon opening it, Twilight found many of the pages toward the back cover to be missing.
What in Equestria...
"Spike, did you read any of it yet?"
"No, I was waiting for you before I did that."
Twilight wasn't sure what else to do, so she did what she always did with new books that demanded proper reading. "Well, I guess we should get started at the beginning."
It was impossible to tell how many pages were ruined from the water and fire damage, but after those there was a good amount of untouched text. Twilight started on the first legible page, after casting a spell she had invented to make archaic texts temporarily appear in a way that would be clear to modern readers.
...Shining Smiles, after Luna introduced me to him at the Gala. I can't shake this strange pony from my thoughts. He has given my life a bit of a shaking in the past few weeks, though, so that's no surprise...
Deception, Denial, Discord
The diary went on through many misadventures, and a steadily growing relationship between Celestia and Shining Smiles. It eventually became obvious even to Twilight how Celestia truly felt about him, but she continued to deny it to herself.
There was finally a marked change, in one page where Celestia noted how Luna had confronted her on the matter, albeit in a lighthearted way, and she finally admitted it to herself after repeatedly questioning it.
It was at that point that Celestia began recording her lengthy consideration of the nature of mortality.
I've always wondered about that. How does she live, knowing that almost everyone around her, no matter how loved, will eventually just pass on without her?
It seemed Celestia was having similar thoughts at the time of writing. Twilight noticed a marked shift in tone; things seemed to suddenly become more poetic, and then more formal, in what seemed to be an unpredictable way.
I cannot leave someone like this. He's done nothing wrong.
And yet I know, no matter how much I wish it could be another way, that he will grow old.
That he will die.
And that I, with my alicorn magic, will stay eternally young.
Eternally lonely.
Eternally without knowing the sweet abandon of love...
But I digress.
Another issue too concerns me. It is a magic, spoken in whispers and behind closed doors far more often than it is in the open.
It is called Chaos Magic, and it functions differently from everything else in this world. It seems it can be manipulated to some degree, but not entirely, and therein lies the danger. It has brought a lucky few some one-time benefits, or so I have been led to believe by what knowledge I have been able to accrue on the matter. But it has a mind of its own; a dark, manipulative mind that can often take and gives as it pleases.
.......
I do not know why I write as if this is for someone else, but it is a long engrained habit,and suppose it could prove useful to me if I ever look back here.
And perhaps if anypony else ever finds this information, if anypony else ever needs it.
A shiver ran down Twilight's spine.
At any rate, there is no way other way to explain the relation between this information and the previous entries than to state it.
I fear Shining Smiles has come into contact with Chaos Magic before.
He can apparently teleport from one place to another (he calls this "Easy-Peasy Movement"), he can fit into places far too small for him... he can even sometimes predict the strangest sorts events mere moments in advance with his "Shining Sense".
I had assumed it was his own special sort of magic. I still think it very well could be.
But I cannot ignore the possibility of Chaos Magic either.
And I have seen other indications of this as well, on reflection. For instance, when he used a mind game to break down that awful, racist, classist unicorn the other day...
I also cannot dismiss the fact that... that he might want to become immortal for me.
It is known all too well that regular magic cannot simply cheat death, but Chaos Magic bends the rules of reality by its very nature.
And even now, some small, selfish, and foolish part of me hopes he would be willing to do such a thing.
Part of me longs only for a lover's embrace, someone to share my heart and soul with...
And I wish, oh how I wish, someone who could go on into the dusty years forever with me.
Thus, I have made the decision to investigate this, starting with Chaos Magic itself, for I cannot go forward to fix this without truly knowing what it is that I am going into.
I must take utmost caution and immediately curb any temptation to dabble in this art, lest I get drawn into it myself. I will study it only in the theory of its nature, and in its effects. Only what I absolutely must, for him.
I love you, Shining Smiles.
"Oh dear sweet Celestia..."
Twilight could hardly bring herself to say anything else, though her mind was racing. "Spike, this is bad. This is really, really bad." She was struck by a sudden realization. "And this isn't what Luna told me. I mean, she told me about Shining Smiles, and Celestia, and Discord killing him... but there was nothing about any of this. "
The book, however, ended rather abruptly a few pages later, when the torn-out section began. Only one more page remained, and only precisely three inscribed lines were still legible upon it; several in between were gone from water damage. Even those had some parts of words missing.
How... how c..ld I let this ha..pen?
A few more lines of ruined text...
I can..t allow this mistake to b.. ...peated.
A blotted out line or two...
As Celestia, Pr...ess of the Sun and Diarch of E...estria, I will put an ..d to Ch..s Magic. Never again, ne..r will my friends be claimed by this fi..th.
She needed more information, and there were two good ways to get it right now. "Spike, I want to you go back to where you found this book. Look for anything else that relates to it, especially if it's written by Princess Celestia, and take a look around in case someone kept the torn out pages. I have something else I need to do."
Spike nodded. "Alright, Twilight. I'll do my best."
Twilight looked once again upon the dull grey statue of discord, and the bizarre expression that shaped his face.
With quiet resolve, she took a deep breath, let out a sigh, and placed her hoof firmly on the statue.
"Discord, I want to know about a pony named Shining Smiles."
Shining Smiles, Shining Smiles. Quite the ring to it, don't you think? It's been all too long since I've heard that name. More than a thousand years since it's crossed my ears properly. Shining Smiles, Shining Smiles, oh, how I remember him, hahahah!
Twilight shuddered, and became increasingly angry.
"Tell me what-"
What happened to him? Oh, but you must have asked dear old Luna about that by now. She did tell you, didn't she?
"She told me that he was the only pony Celestia had ever fallen in love with... and that you killed him."
Twilight suddenly realized that she might be playing into his mental trickery. "Enough of your games, Discord. I know there's something I'm missing here."
Well, quite the investigator, aren't you?
Tell me, do you know why I killed him?
Twilight was taken aback by the suddenly very apparent gap in the story. "No, I don't. She didn't tell me."
That's because I didn't kill him.
Twilight's anger came flooding back. "What? Why in Equestria should I believe you?"
Because while I am many things, Twilight Sparkle, I am no murderer. Murder isn't my style, as you and your friends have seen.
No, it was Celestia who killed him.
Twilight reeled in shock.
Celestia could never have done such a thing... could she?
Oh, yes she could. It isn't always easy to deal with problems in a peaceful fashion, now is it? Murder is so much simpler. Oh, the lengths I go to keep things classy for you ponies.. .
Twilight cringed at the slithering voice in her head. Of course Discord could hear her thoughts this way...
"I don't believe you!"
Of course you don't. So go ask her yourself! I'm sure you'll find the answer very... insightful, hahahaha! Run along now, there's fun to be had!
Twilight withdrew her hoof, disgusted. "I will! You can't play these games forever, Discord."
The clattering of her hooves along the floors of the castle corridors echoed across the walls as Twilight ran toward Celestia's chambers.
As she ran by the library, Spike attempted to halt her for a moment, but only partially succeeded.
"Twilight, where did you go? I was-"
"No time to talk! I have to get to Celestia!"
"I... what in Equestria..."
Spike looked at her with a confused expression as she continued running down the hall and away from him.
Several more heads turned as she ran by, but none of them stopped her. There was only one thing on her mind right now, and that was finding some answers.
What she was doing on the night I came here...
Everything Discord said...
All the confusing answers from Luna...
Everything the diary spoke about...
I... I know what it must mean, but...
But how can it?
She finally came upon Celestia's chambers. Guards were stationed on either side of the door.
"Who goes there?"
"Twilight Sparkle. Come on now, Artemis, Clegmane, you guys know me. Will you let me through?"
The guards exchanged confused looks. "Of course, miss Sparkle. But what is the rush?"
Twilight looked away for a moment. "I can't tell you."
Artemis shrugged, and they cleared the way. Twilight went through the door as slowly and deliberately as she could, trying to hide her anxiety.
Once inside, she looked around frantically in an attempt to find Celestia.
"My Faithful Student, what is wrong? Has something gone amiss?"
The serene but mildly concerned look on Celestia's face was the final straw for Twilight.
But the same unmovable, ever-logical part of her that told her what Celestia had done now reminded her of who Celestia was. The melting pot of emotions inside Twilight's mind simmered down somewhat, but it would not by any means subside completely.
"Yes. Something is very wrong." She turned her gaze aside for a moment, took a deep inhale, and looked Celestia directly in her eyes, which was a challenge at this point. "Who killed Shining Smiles?"
Celestia froze in place for a long moment. Only her lips and voice made any shift toward a movement, and that was expressionless and flat. "Oh.
Oh stars above..."
Celestia and Twilight locked their gazes on one another. Both student and teacher alike held fear and disbelief in their eyes, but Twilight's carried an undercurrent of hurt and anger.
In all their years as student and pupil, Celestia had been a grand, immovable figure. She had always been perched high above a stone, impervious to any waves that raged below her. This time, it was as if Twilight sat upon a judges' seat with a cowardly prisoner standing far below her.
They looked into one another's eyes for a long moment, neither wishing to believe what they were seeing, until a delayed kneejerk reaction of pain, rage, and fear came from Twilight. "It.. it really was you, wasn't it?"
There was very little anger in her voice; instead, it held shock and hurt, which only made it more painful to Celestia's ears.
Celestia slowly pulled back. She shook her head. "Twilight, please... I- I didn't-"
"Why did you do it? Why? How could you betray one of your own subjects like that? How could you betray him ? You were his best friend!"
Celestia's lip began to quiver, her eyes about ready to give out. She was beyond speaking properly. "I... no, no... please... I didn't... it wasn't me... I-"
"You did! Stop trying to hide it! I found your diary, Celestia! And Discord and Luna told me the rest. Why did you kill him?"
Celestia was beginning to visibly shrink, cowering away from Twilight's onslaught of accusations.
The great Princess Celestia, the most stable and pure element in Twilight's life, the immovable rock she tied herself to... all of her illusions came tumbling down around her.
She stopped for a moment to glare at Celestia, with tears in her own eyes.
"And what would happen if I started studying some kind of magic you thought I shouldn't too? What then?"
The final stage of her speaking came on to a note of disapproving pity, finally slowing down to a normal pace. "You loved him, and then, just because he was dabbling in... Chaos... magic... oh dear."
Twilight trailed off as she realized what she had done.
A flood of emotions came to Celestia, washing away her composure as a tidal wave would an anthill. "I didn't do it... I wanted to save him! I tried to help him... I tried everything I could..."
An expression of unsurpassed anguish appeared across her face, visible only for a moment as she burst into tears, threw herself upon the ground, and cried out. A moment later she gritted her teeth and covered her face with her magnificently adorned hooves.
"Why, why, why..." was all that she choked out between sobs.
The sound of her snout banging against the ground was barely audible.
Twilight immediately regretted everything she had just said. She had never seen Celestia so anguished, let alone on such short notice. Not knowing what else to do, she could only stand it watch.
Now I know what she looked like after banishing Luna...
This must have been one of the most painful things in her life. And here I went, callously accusing her about it...
After regaining some of her strength, Celestia slowly stood. Her legs were shaky. Her breaths were unsteady, and she still sobbed sometimes as she spoke. Her eyes were puffy, her expression pained.
"Where... where did you hear that name?"
An explanation was owed, and so Twilight gave one in full. What she saw on the first night of her visit, what she had been told by Discord and Luna, what she had read in the diary...
As she went on, Celestia alternated between looking directly at Twilight and letting her head fall back into a lowered position. Tears frequently fell from her eyes.
When Twilight finished explaining the whole story, Celestia stopped to take a few steadying breaths, before looking at her student for a long, silent moment. She had most of her composure back, but her eyes still looked pained, and she continued to shed tears. Once again, she looked away, and choked out a few more sobs.
Twilight wondered how long it would take her to be able to speak again, but she chastised herself for such a selfish thought.
There was finally a knock at the door, which opened itself a few seconds later. Luna burst into the room, Spike following closely behind her.
"What is going on here? Why is-"
Luna's expression turned from agitation to outright fury as she saw Celestia's condition. The Royal Canterlot Voice was a reflex for her at this point.
"TWILIGHT SPARKLE! EXPLAIN THYSELF! HOW IS IT THAT YOU DARE TO BRING SUCH GRIEF UPON THE THRONE OF EQUESTRIA?"
"I- I can explain, I-"
"NO, YOU CANNOT. HAVE I NOT ALREADY TOLD YOU TO LOOK NOT EVERYWHERE YOUR PRYING EYES LEAD YOU?"
Oh... she did say that, didn't she.
"COUNT YOURSELF LUCKY YOUR ASSISTANT CAME TO ME BEFORE YOU WENT ANY FURTHER THAN YOU ALREADY HAVE."
Twilight remained quiet, and hung her head low.
Luna took in a calming breath.
"We shall wait upon my sister as to what exactly is to be done with you."
All present waited patiently through the long pause before Celestia responded.
She took a deep breath, turned to look at her sister, and spoke with a surprisingly calm voice, as if administering counsel to a soldier who had a dispute with his commanding officer. "Lulu, I appreciate your aid, but I this trespass can be forgiven. We all make mistakes; no creature in Equestria is perfect, not even you or I. I am sure you know that lesson as well as I do. And you also that Twilight has not had the many centuries you and I have had to accrue wisdom. You cannot hold her to our standards."
Celestia let out another long sigh. "I think it's time we stopped hiding the truth."
Luna looked deep into her sister's eyes, closed her own, and finally gave a single, very deliberate nod. "Very well, sister. I will do as you wish, and help to recount the truth of our past."
Celestia nodded back.
"Twilight, you may want to make yourself comfortable. This will take some time."
