Vlog 02: On Crowns and Heroes
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Vlogs of an Ancient Insect

Vlog 02: On Crowns and Heroes

One of the benefits to not establishing a career in a new town yet is that you're often free to just fuck around. It helps that I could easily just sell off some old Equestrian bits to collectors if I needed some extra cash. I wonder if the museum here or in Zephyr Heights would be interested in acquiring some. As for today, my messing around mostly consisted of flying around in my pegasus Anon variant, burning energy, and looking for inspiration for my next vlog. Well, that and looking for someone to pester.

Sometimes, the people you didn't know you wanted to pester find you. More specifically, they walked out of the movie theatre, heads huddled in discussion of the movie as they stopped in front of an old movie poster. There was Sunny Starscout, Zipp Storm, and Izzy Moonbow—three of my four favourite mares. Clearly Horns was a pre-reunion movie, and now anti-unicorn propaganda. They didn't even notice me when I swooped in under the overhang, and landed upside down on the overhang.

"Hey, girls!" I exclaimed, waving down at them. It was my first time witnessing Sunny suddenly sprouting an ethereal horn and wings, and I found it really funny that it was when I managed to startle it out of her. "Sunny! Good to see you're on point today." I looked from her to Zipp and Izzy. "Izzy, Zipp, so good to see you."

"Anon, how... nice to see you,"Sunny lied through her teeth. Yeah, I can get being bitter about being startled into magicking up. Still, she wasn't actually displeased to see me. My bug powers told me as much. "Do you have a permit to do that, or is Hitch going to going to have another fit and introduce more new by-laws?"

The pale pegasus flicked her baby blues my way. "I... uh... don't think the updated Maritime Bay ordinances accounted for that," she said hesitantly. Rather, she seemed somewhat impressed as she took out her phone and snapped a picture. "Thanks, you just won me five bits."

Giving her a wink, I smirked. "Hoof to heart, I do my part." I'd have high-hoofed her, but it would've meant making her take flight or hanging perilously by just two hooves. Technically, I wasn't in league with her, but when I found out that she'd gotten into a little bet with Hitch that there was no way I'd find a loophole in the new ordinance, I took it as a personal challenge not to let him win. The new ordinance outlawed defying gravity by walking/standing perpendicular to a completely vertical surface. It said nothing about standing upside-down on horizontal surfaces. "Is that how it goes?"

The gleeful smile on Izzy's face was infectious. "So what's up, Anon?" she asked, unable to restrain a giggle. "You know, besides you? Wait, no, I can do better than that. Did you just want to hang out?" Before too long, we all broke out into laughter. "Really, though. What's up?"

With a shrug, I carefully pulled my phone from its pouch and navigated to a comment that stuck out to me on my last video. "I was wondering if something like this was doable?" I asked, carefully passing the phone down to Sunny. "I'd already been considering getting some portrait photos done of the most important ponies from my time, and donating them to the museum, and I figured, why not do a whole show like the pony there suggested."

I mean, technically, user RainySkies' entire message was, 'As a shape-shifter, wouldn't it be too easy to only do a half-flanked transformation to more easily blend in? I don't think I can trust that you only do things in full as it were. Not that I think you're a bad pony or anything and want to trick us. Uh... Well you don't have to answer that, but I was also wondering if you could do a performance at the museum to show everyone what the important ponies at the time were like. I'm sure Sunny would like it too. I'd like to be there if you make an appearance, too. Wouldn't want to miss it.'

A bit of a ramble, but it was a really good idea—the museum bit. Half-flanking disguises was a terrible idea. It didn't really even boil down to the quality of the disguise. Doing things in halves tended to have... weird side effects. I think the word Izzy uses is jinxie. Actually, that could make for a quick vlog that I could do.

After a few moments consideration, she passed my phone back to me. There was a glint of excitement in her eye. "That's not actually a bad idea," she quickly agreed. "You've already shown you knew the Guardians of Friendship, and you do owe some story-time... Oooh, we could do both!"

Making sure to keep a firm grip on my phone, I released the overhang and dropped to the ground with the grace of a cat. "If you can work things out with the museum ponies, I can help tell the story," I said with a nod. "Oh! Zipp, you think Pipp would be interested in joining in? She's a much nicer voice than mine, and I'd be more than happy to write everything down."

"Oh! Can I make the props?" Izzy begged as I began to take flight. When I nodded, she began to squeal. As I flew away, phone still in hoof, the trio waved me off. "I hope you're ready for an art-attack!"

Oh, God; it's a good thing I can't get diabetes.

Rather than head to the motel, the sea-cave, or the roof of Hitch's second home, I instead decided to just fly slow loops around the city for a bit. There was a lot to consider, not just in making some sort of presentation for the museum, but also for my next vlog. There was a lot I had to say on the matter, and several different ways I could do it. The most effective way was through demonstration, but that would work contrary as to the purpose of these vlogs.

I don't want to traumatise anyone, I thought as I ploughed through a low-hanging cloud. Besides, I also don't have another changeling around to help if I fuck up.

After taking a few moments to think, I began to steadily climb until I reached the main cloud layer. Weather here was wild, but after a careful tentative step, I found out quickly enough that I was still capable of cloud walking. Though I still hated the way it felt, I could not fault the evolutionary choice that allowed changelings to at least blend in with pegasi. Can the pegasus ponies today not walk among the clouds? Have they not tried? I considered mentioning it directly, but why not do it subliminally instead?

Slowly lowering myself down and rolling onto my side, I held out my phone and turned on the camera app. Once I was sure the clouds and sky could be seen stretching out behind me, I hit record. "Hey everypony, sorry I haven't gotten around to recording a new video sooner," I apologised with a quick snicker. "Your—hopefully—favourite changeling queen has had her head in the clouds regarding a few things. So before I get on with today's question, I just wanted to let you all know that I've got something very special planned, so keep an ear out for certain happenings at the museum regarding ancient Equestrian history."

Glancing out across the empty cloud vista, I sighed. "User RainySkies had a question that I might be misinterpreting a bit, so I'd better address it from both angles." Rolling onto my back, I used my free hoof to take off my glasses and clip them to my harness. "Rainy asked whether, as a shape-shifter, doing a half-flanked transformation wouldn't make it easier for me to blend in, suggesting that I can't only do things in full."

Transformation magic rolled up my frame, leaving me leaner, taller, with a charcoal coat and a mane to match my bug form's. My eyes reverted to their slit-pupil state, which probably only looked slightly menacing. "By half-flanking, I'm assuming they mean only giving myself a coat and hiding my buggy bits," I explained, "And while I certainly could go around looking like this, it just doesn't feel like me, you know? Back when I lived in Ponyville, however long ago that was now, I had a little sister. Technically for a time, we were two ponies in one body, but that's sidetracking. Anyway, when we were separated into two beings, I continued using our shared appearance, though she didn't wear glasses, while I often switched things up, adding wings or a horn. It took a while to get used to seeing my natural form in the mirror."

I reverted back to my preferred disguise, and put on my glasses. "Honestly, being me—being Emerald Flicker's big sister—is as close to 'half-flanking' a transformation as I can get," I explained, rolling back onto my side. "As a practitioner of 'old magics' and shape-shifting, 'half-flanking' is synonymous with carelessness, which equates to dangerous. There's a reason you'll never see me transforming if I'm in the pub..."

Letting out a wistful sigh, I wiped a tear from my eye. "I still remember our twenty-first birthday... Emerald and I got so drunk that I can't even recall what I was trying to transform into... All I remember is foals screaming, the waitress passing out, and getting banned from the Tasty Treat in Canterlot. Anyways, I suppose what I'm trying to say is 'Don't drink and do magic; you never know who'll lose their skin.'"

~ 02 ~

A few days passed without much worth mention. Following the release of the newest vlog, there were a few super creepy DMs asking to see pics of me without my skin. I blocked all the offending parties and put a warning out on my channel that I didn't appreciate ponies asking for creepy pictures. It wasn't like I even lost my skin in the story I shared. That was my legs and half my jaw.

In the time since my discussion with Sunny, planning the presentation kind of got out of hand. First, I found a pony from Bridlewood who sold some edible goods that Hitch definitely wouldn't have approved of. Then, I remember eating one brownie, and the next morning I woke up in some pony's basement—Sunny's, go figure—with an epic poem retelling a good portion of relevant Equestrian history. After that I had to go and rewrite it in a script they could actually read, since no one used sun and moon-glyphs anymore. It was all in the Latin alphabet, which made me wonder when that transition occurred. Was it Sunset? I bet it was Sunset.

Izzy and Pipp had come up with another idea that would save me a lot of energy on the day of the presentation. Instead of just transforming into ponies as was relevant to the part being read, they had me transform and pose for photos in various forms mentioned in the poem we'd all read. Another pony would run a slideshow on a projector screen behind us. That way, I would only need to change my voice when reading a character-relevant line.

After all the photos we ended up taking—including several with me in different spots for a collage of all the famous ponies in the story—I ended up having to crash super hard. Something I'd found since my awakening was that my capacity for magic had withered some whilst I was sealed away, although I imagined the more I exercised it, the closer I would get to when I was at my peak. That meant more transforming and other magic, I guess.

That brought us to today. Although many of the photos taken were submitted to the Maretime Bay Museum, the event itself was hosted outside. That was because a stage, canopy, projector screen, and seating for an audience had been set up before I arrived. The others—Sunny, Pipp, Izzy, Zipp, and even Hitch—had shown up even sooner, presumably for said set-up.

Stepping up onto the stage with the others, I looked out at the crowd. A lot of the foals of Maretime bay were present with either parents or guardians, as were many community leaders. I think I saw that Canterlogic mare, Phyllis Cloverleaf, seated with the leaders of Zephyr Heights and Bridlewood—Zipp and Pipp's mother, Queen Haven, and a huge unicorn named Alphabittle, if I'm not mistaken. There was a pegasus in greens and purples that reminded me of that Mane-iac character from Spike's old comics. Even a few social media ponies were there with their phones out. I wonder which one's Rainy.

To begin the event, Sunny stepped up to the podium. "Thank you so much for coming, everypony!" exclaimed Ms. Starscout, whose enthusiasm was eclipsed only by the reappearance of her ethereal wings and horn. "I'm so happy that we could all come together to learn a bit about ancient Equestrian history from somepony from that era! Put your hooves together for Anonymous Flicker!"

There was a half-hearted applause, but I didn't let it get me down. As I dismissed the disguise I'd flown in wearing, eliciting some startled gasps in the process, I found I had to lean down to the microphone. That was the hazard of being taller in my natural form, though. "Hello, everypony, as Sunny said, I'm Anonymous Flicker, but you can just call me Anon," I said. As soon as I noticed the mic was wireless, I wrapped it in a levitation field and lifted it up so that I could wander the stage. "Some of you may already know me, but for those of you who don't, I'm the idiot who stepped out of that time capsule, scaring the living daylights out of the town a few weeks back."

Much to my surprise, there was some laughter at that self-deprecating comment. "Yeah, not the greatest first impression," I agreed with a toothy smile. "Colour me surprised when I step out into a world where alicorn demi-goddesses lie forgotten, and some of the greatest heroes of my time are but a hoofnote, known only as the Guardians of Friendship."

As I passed Pipp in my wanderings, I levitated the mic over to her. "Anon's been kind enough to write out the history she remembers in the form of a poem," explained the young Princess of Zephyr Heights. "Anon, and all of us, will take turns reciting the poem, while ponies of import will be shown on the screen behind us. There will be a short Q and A at the end, so be sure to stick around."

Once upon a time, in the magical land of Equestria,
There were two alicorn princesses named Luna and Celestia.
With alicorn magic, they controlled moon and sun,
Each thought they did hard work, while the other had fun.

Under Celestia's sun,
Ponies danced and they played.
Under Luna's moon,
The same could not be said.

Ignored by her ponies, Luna had enough.
Pleading with Celestia met only rebuff.
One solemn morning, the moon remained in the skies,
And Luna regarded her sister with a stranger's eyes.

No longer was Luna the name of the voice.
Nightmare Moon left Celestia with no other choice.
Ancient relics did grant her a powerful boon.
The night sister was banished onto the moon.

For one thousand years, her sister would sleep,
Ruling alone she could not help but weep.
A glimmer of hope helped stave off her fears,
Nightmare Moon would be freed in one thousand years.

For one thousand years, she plotted and planned,
Her sister's freedom would soon be at hand.
When the banishment curse was almost done,
The princess raised up her young chosen one.

Young Twilight Sparkle and her assistant Spike,
Trained by the Sun, young siblings alike.
Prophecies warned of the Nightmare's return,
But nothing of friendship, did she want to learn.

To oversee a fair, the Sun sent her student,
And to make some friends she insisted was prudent.
The student was incredibly far from amused,
Of this ominous plot, she was not disabused.

Yet through her day, many ponies she met,
As she set out to manage this fete.
Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Rarity too,
With Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy to round out their crew.

When the Nightmare returned, and the sun would not rise,
The fellowship set out to claim an ancient prize.
The Elements of Harmony, once used by the Sun,
Would soon free the sister, when their friendship won.

Honest Applejack was hardworking and proud.
Loyal Rainbow Dash was speedy and loud.
Kind Fluttershy was caring and demure,
Pinkie Pie's Laughter was innocent and pure.

Generous Rarity, her beauty renowned,
These were five Elements that had been found.
The power of friendship provided a spark,
In Twilight the sixth element, Magic, did mark.

Their power united in time for noon tea,
Nightmare Moon was banished, and Luna was free.
The Moon was reluctant, though the Sun showed delight,
This royal family, did new friendship unite.

Twas not the last friend to be made from a foe.
Twilight's many friendships would certainly grow.
The God of Chaos, Discord, he was so absurd,
Trixie the showmare sought vengeance with nary a word.

Twilight's brother Shining Armor, he was soon to be wed.
To dear Princess Cadance, his heart of course led.
The wedding was nigh, but all was not as it seemed,
For food for her Swarm, Queen Chrysalis dreamed.

A princess replaced, a sister disgraced,
A battle against time, two would soon face.
An invasion had come to great Canterlot,
On this beautiful day, a battle to be fought.

The swarm could not withstand the breadth of their love,
And far from the capital, the changelings they did shove,
Shining and Cadance's love was abound,
No finer wedding would ever be found.

Against a dark lord, Twilight would fight,
Yet Spike saved the day, much to her fright.
The Chaos God Discord, with record unclean,
Was taught by kind Fluttershy, not to be so mean.

With the power of friendship, magic's will did bend,
And to alicornhood Twilight did ascend.
A new princess rose and joined the throne,
And the magic of friendship she continued to hone.

The hungry centaur, of all magic he dreamed,
Made naïve Discord think he could be redeemed.
But nothing could slake his magical thirst,
This villain yet, was clearly the worst.

Yet magical trials had left them prepared,
And to face him together, the fellowship dared.
Thus the ignoble centaur met his defeat,
Back in Tartarus, he returned to his seat.

In a town far off, a young mare assured,
Cutie marks stifled equality among the herd.
Her magic was strong, to challenge even Fate,
From ponies their cutie marks she did separate.

Ideals and Friendship would come to blows,
The young mare retreated where no one knows.
Challenging fate was to twice be her crime,
When later she came back to unravel time.

Yet Twilight convinced her of friendship's shimmer,
And under her wing she took Starlight Glimmer.
An apprentice to friendship, Trixie she redeemed.
Spike then met Thorax, a changeling who dreamed.

A foalhood friendship Starlight then nursed.
Her friend to the end was the scholar Starburst.
The princess of love, with alicorn foal she was blessed,
Flurry Heart's power certainly impressed.

Yet all was not well, more than met the eyes,
Starlight found Ponyville housed bugs in disguise.
With Sunburst, Trixie, Thorax and Discord by her side,
Into Chrysalis' domain the quintet did ride.

No more could he stand his poor people's plight.
Their villainous ways, Thorax claimed were a blight.
He gave his love freely to the hungering queen,
A new form Harmony rewarded him, free from Hunger's machine.

The changelings were freed, offered a new way.
All but the queen changed by the end of the day.
Of revenge on Starlight, the lone queen did whine,
Never did she believe Thorax's way would be fine.

One summer morning, to their door came a box,
Held safe inside was something that talks.
Inside was Anonymous, their new ward and friend,
But that is where this story for now must end.

The audience was respectful and quiet throughout the recitation. Even when, on the screen behind us, Queen Chrysalis appeared on as I remembered her before the event—a shell of herself and half-maddened by starvation—ponies refrained from screaming. I hoped the stark difference in our appearances would reassure them that I was healthy and not about to pod somepony. The recital went swimmingly, and at the end, when we all stepped up to take a bow, we were met with applause.

~ 02 ~

In my rented motel room, I relaxed on my bed as best I could. My phone sat before me, opened to ClipTrot. The app was cycling through several clips of the Q and A session at the end of the presentation. Although I knew deep down it was just me acting the part, for a while, it felt like those ponies were still alive, enjoying the new world with me.

It wasn't all great, though. It'd only been several hours since the presentation had been streamed, but some were already using it as material to make memes. I think my representation of Twilight and the other Elements of Harmony might've been a bit too overplayed. After all, one user had taken some Guardians of Friendship figurines and used clips of voices to create a rather vulgar animation stereotyping the girls... Each of them only said one thing over and over again... Apples, darling, books, awesome, and party... only for dear Fluttershy to end up bleeped out.

Others had turned Celestia, Luna, Cadance, and the Elements into a type of image macro already gaining the title Advice Ponies. In one, Cadance's face was accompanied by the caption, "Love-eating bugs invade? Let's force-feed them love til they go away!" In another, Luna was made to seem like a psychopath with the caption, "Nobody likes my night? Nobody gets to live." There was even one of Discord—in a pose I don't remember striking for the camera, no less—proclaiming, "I swear, I'm the only normal one here."

That last one gave me chills, and I even found myself hesitantly calling out to see if that devil would come a-knocking. He didn't of course. For all the times I'd met him, it'd never once been a case of Speak of the Devil and he shall appear. Probably for the best. Even though he'd mellowed out a lot before I left, he was still plenty hectic. I wasn't sure I wanted to find out what he'd be like after however long it'd been... if he even existed in that form now. I never did ask any of the Embodied Concepts like Discord, Harmony, or Hunger, what sort of life-cycle they had, if such an idea even applied.

I saw that I had a notification on ClipTrot saying I had a new direct message. I reached over, backed out of the feed, and made my way over to the messages tab. It was a message from that RainySkies pony that inspired the whole show. I wonder what they want.

'I just wanted to say that I really enjoyed the history lesson,' I read. 'If they all were even half as cool as you made them seen, you must've felt really lucky to be surrounded by such ponies. Sorry that some trolls are making a big joke of it all.'

Shrugging to myself, I typed out a quick response. 'Ponies gonna pony. Sure as earth ponies grow, pegasi fly, and unicorns cast spells, there'll always be trolls that do what they know. I'm just happy that ponies got to have a glimpse of what my friends and family were all like.'

Closing the app and returning the phone to its charging cradle, I flopped back so that my head was resting on the singular pillow, and my horn was at risk of scratching the headboard. I gotta find a better place to live, I thought tiredly to myself as I tugged the comforter over my body. No way the hotel's gonna let me construct a proper pillow nest in here... especially not with all the space I'd need. Still not sure what they're gonna say when they find out I patched a leaky pipe with hive resin.

Author's Note

My head hurts so much after writing that poetic retelling of seasons one through six of FIM.

Vlog 03: On Magics, Old and New
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Vlogs of an Ancient Insect

Vlog 03: On Magics, Old and New

Looking out at the green chaos encompassing the town, I felt a sense of doubt beginning to fill my belly. When Mom said magic might be different, and more potent than ever, I don't think she meant quite like this. Everywhere I looked, nature magic was going off in random, unpredictable ways. Plants, vines, flowers and trees of every kind were popping up wherever the panicking earth ponies went.

In retrospect, it made sense that Hitch Trailblazer's blanket ban on the burgeoning earth pony magic would backfire this spectacularly. Even though they'd learned to live without magic—or at least noticeable magic—ponies still had magical reservoirs. Unfortunately the great span of time without magic had left them with a minute reservoir... Naturally filling and discharging at their idle levels, but never holding much. Now they were all imbued with the power to wield that magic, and with it building up inside them, like refugees overeating and overwhelming their bodies, it had nowhere to go except to spill out wildly.

Unicorns had quickly taken to using the natural telekinetic force they could channel through their horns to levitate objects, as well as creating an aura cone to produce light. It was probably inefficient as all get-out, but their limited reservoirs could probably refill as quickly as they burned through energy. Pegasi had the magic that granted them flight, which they abused with abandon, and there was still the potential towards cloud-walking and weather manipulation in time. Earth ponies, though? They didn't know how to naturally cycle it through their bodies to reinforce their muscles, so their only outlet was to pour it into the ground and give mother nature a prod.

Sure, I was safe atop the Canterlogic factory, which I'd heard was in the process of decommissioning. I was a few stories up, and aside from an overgrown glimmerberry stem, there weren't any major wild growths in the area. Still, I hoped they'd find a good outlet, and soon, or else Maretime Bay was destined to become a new Everfree Forest. Hopefully, they'd figure things out.

Taking out my phone, I had an idea. Holding it landscape, and ensuring the camera app was using the back-facing camera, I toggled the recording mode. "I hope you're all enjoying the green nightmare as much as I am, everypony," I narrated, sweeping the camera across the city to highlight all the greenery that didn't belong. "It's Anonymous Flicker here to share her two buggy bits on the latest happenings."

Switching the phone over to the selfie-cam, I gave my reflection—my beautiful changeling reflection—a smile. "Rather than answer any audience questions this time, I thought I might use today's... shenanigans as a good stepping off point to talk a bit about one of my favourite topics: magic and my cutie mark."

I encapsulated the phone in my own levitation magic—the only horn magic I ever really bothered learning to do when it grew big enough for me to use—and held it out to my side, showing off my side-profile and the iridescent green mark on my flank. "Even though I'm a changeling, a creature not typically known for it, I possess a cutie mark," I began. Slowly, I brought the camera closer to show off the mark without it going out of focus. It was a curved shape with a slash through it, positioned just above a slim six-pointed star. The way it was configured made it appear to be a question-mark that had been struck through. "It's a bit of a souvenir from when I was a pony. The symbolism might not mean much today, but the shape accompanying the star is what's called a rune, a major facet in the way spell-casting of old worked, and stars had major ties to magic in general. Thus, my talent was runic magic."

The camera came back around to float in front of me. Again, I reached out to tap the screen, switching it back to display the town. In particular focus was an earth pony foal whose hooves were causing flowers to spring up in their wake. "Back then, magic was never this potent," I explained, pointing out a large vine that had sprung up just out of frame. "Earth pony magic was more subtle, passively bolstering their strength to levels you might consider preternatural, and giving them a natural advantage where agriculture was concerned. Conversely, pegasi could walk on clouds—and I can't stress enough not to try this without somepony to catch you if it turns out you can't—and even manipulate the weather, which was wholly under pony control."

While the camera was focused on the chaos down below, I quietly forced some of the contents of my stomach up into my throat, where it mixed with a secretion from a gland only changelings possessed. Although disgusting, this was how changelings created a pretty sturdy construction material that came out all glossy and black. While the hive resin cured in my throat, I transfigured my hoof into a flat panel upon which a complex fractal pattern extruded itself. Finally, I smoothed some of the resin out onto that pattern, making sure every groove was imprinted on the waxy substance.

"That left only three things to the unicorns: light, object levitation, and unpredictable intent-based magic," I pointed out as my hoof returned to it's normal shape and I held the black puck atop my hoof. "That was where spells came in. Through careful experimentation over millennia, the runic 'language' was discovered. It was determined that when magic was shaped certain ways, it could create specific effects, and by combining the shapes, energy-efficient spells could be created with far more predictability. That said, creation of spells was typically regulated due to the sheer dangers it presented when done improperly."

Redirecting the camera, I displayed the rune-imprinted resin puck to my audience. They wouldn't see every single detail—thank God—but the blue glow cast by my horn was enough to highlight the sheer complexity of the spell. "Although spells are typically shaped internally and expressed through a unicorn's horn, it is possible for any sufficiently magical creature to utilize runes to cast a spell. There are even some that possess a spoken component."

Down below, I could see Hitch leading the other four down into the plaza below. It was hard to hear over all the screaming and panic, but it sounded like he was telling the earth ponies to go buck wild with the magic. At the same time, it seemed like Sunny had taken a lead in guiding them, so that it was with purpose. Things slowly started to calm down for a moment, and then that tiny red dude went off.

I slowly pulled the camera back with my magic, and rotated around until it was providing an over-the-shoulder view of the town. That view was quickly disrupted as an even larger glimmerberry plant—complete with a massive berry weighing it down—rose into view. I just held the hoof bearing the runic spell outward, and drove my mana out through it to fill every groove, fully intent on casting the spell. I didn't need to see the camera to know that it caught when a hoof-thick icicle shot out and embedded itself in the giant berry. Several more joined it, forming big happy face with two chevrons for eyes.

All I could do was wince when the giant berry snapped free of the stem. "This is your local ancient black-shell queen, signing off," I announced before stopping the recording. In quick succession, I slipped the phone into its case, recreated the bag-of-holding spell on my leg, and stored away the magic puck before I could lose it.

Down below, I saw the big fuck off berry smash into a hastily grown tree, splattering down-town in berry juices. I considered getting out while everyone was distracted, but it took me too long to decide. I was, after all, perfectly silhouetted on the roof, so of course someone was gonna see me. Even as I heard Zipp wondering aloud where the ice had come from, I knew what was coming next.

"Anonymous Flicker, I see you up there!" Hitch bellowed in his 'I am the law!' voice. "You get down here this instant. I need you to explain where this ice came from, because it clearly didn't come from these ponies."

Shit. Sure, it was perfectly reasonable to blame unexpected magical happenings like that on the weird magic change-bug. I get it; I'd be suspicious too. It didn't make it any less shitty that I was probably about the take the blame for that big berry dropping down and threatening to steamroll the town. Maybe I should prep the Fire Hose spell on my other foreleg now. Good old water conjuration.

~ 03 ~

"So put your hooves up high, 'cause we're feelin' alright," I sang along with the audio track playing through my headphones, though I wasn't paying enough attention to know for sure whether it was in my own voice or if I was directly mimicking the song. "Every day is awesome in the Maretime Bay!" Flying along and sweeping high-pressure water magic down the sides of the plaza buildings was boring work, but it wasn't like anyone'd said that I couldn't listen to music to keep it interesting. "So put your hooves up, put your hooves up! Everything is gonna be okay!"

Down below, there weren't many other ponies working at cleaning up. Mostly everyone else had gone to get washed up. In fact, the only helper I had was the red guy that grew the massive glimmerberry plant in the first place. Turns out the scrawny guy with the straw-coloured mane was named Sprout Cloverleaf. He was helping clean up to fill hours for his mandatory community service, but rather than using a hose, he was shovelling the pulp into a cart.

He's the one that whipped the town into a xenophobic fervour and formed that lynch mob before I awoke, my brain helpfully supplied as another of Pipp's began to play. I don't abide by racists, but given the tenuous/non-existent history between the tribes over the recent centuries, it's not like I can't understand them being irrationally afraid of one another.

Taking my hoof off the spell to give my chitin a break, I took my headphones off and draped them across my neck. "Oi, Little Red!" I called down to him. I looked around the plaza and saw that he was probably gonna be here past sundown dragging the cart around and shovelling the fruit-scraps into it. When he didn't seem to notice, I rolled my eyes. "Tin-pot Dictator, you got a moment?"

He paused his work, resting against his shovel as he stared up at me. "My name is Sprout!" he yelled back up to me. It wasn't an angry declaration, or even frustrated. It was just straight-up dejection. "That used to mean something around here."

I nodded. "Right, anyway, I'm getting ready to take off," I responded, slowly floating down out of the sky. "Want me to get all this pulp bunched up and save you some time? I'm sure you wanna go home and get cleaned up too."

He eyed me with some suspicion as he looked around. The frustration bubbling up inside him was palpable, and I half expected him to use his shovel to fling some of the mess up at me. Sprout seemed to be of a proud sort, having a bit of an ego, and to have me offering to use my freaky magic probably tweaked is little nose. After an extended silence, he hissed out a sigh. "Fine."

As soon as he threw his shovel over his withers and trotted over to a pulp free area to take a break, I threw my headphones on and built up some speed. "You gotta follow your beat, and then soon you will see, you won't have that far to go," I sang along as I used the spell imprinted on my shell to begin pushing the pulp along the ground. "Until your song starts to grow, all you need is to follow your beat."

The minutes flew by, and before too long, there was a sizeable pile of berry pulp lying in the shade of the tree that had been used to stop the berry's rampage before it could start. Even if he didn't much care for my blatant use of magic, or my flight, even he could appreciate how much easier I was making his job. Sure, it might even have diminished his punishment somewhat, but it was a warm day, and he could easily work himself into heatstroke. It just felt like the right thing to do, even if he was a bit of a pariah.

'Sometimes, we all just need to be shown a little kindness,' whispered a familiar voice in the back of my mind.

Once it was all done, I quickly waved goodbye to the stallion as I donned my second skin—which was really more of a first skin now that I thought about it. He seemed utterly bewildered that I'd actually done that for him, but as he looked at the sunny skies and then the shade in which he could now work, I could taste his gratitude in the air. Not the most filling emotion, but it's better than getting drunk off the negatives. If he called anything out, I couldn't hear him over the music.

Maybe it was just sheer coincidence, but the playlist on my phone had just transitioned to a band that Zipp had recommended—Electric Blue—there came a tap on my withers. I looked to the side and saw the familiar purple and blue primary feathers, and the blue and pink mane of Zipp. Did she just wing-tap me mid-flight? I wondered as I pulled my phone out and shut off the tunes.

"What's up, Detective Princess Zipp?" I asked, slowing to a hover while turning to face her. She seemed troubled, but I had a hard time gauging her emotions. "You guys aren't mad that I gave Sprout a helping hoof back there, are you?"

She glanced back toward the plaza, where the small red shape could be seen in the shade of the tree, slinging chunks of the overside berry into the cart. "Huh? I actually wasn't gonna say anything about that," she said, but didn't actually seem all that interested in my act of kindness. "You knew Twilight Sparkle, right?"

When I nodded my head, she went into an explanation of what had happened leading up to Hitch's epiphany in letting earth pony magic go free. A message Mom had encoded in the Unity Crystals had played in response to some weird cutie mark magic shenanigans. It warned of the increased danger posed to Equestria now that magic was back and stronger than ever, and of someone who wanted to steal it all for themselves.

"—but the spell is broken. You are exposed to the world once again. You must watch out for Op—" came a voice I never expected to hear again beyond my own imitations. Zipp had managed to record a small portion, and played it back for me, trying to see if I knew anything. It kinda rang a bell, but I'd already chosen to go into stasis before she sealed it all away.

Why did I change my mind, though? I couldn't help but wonder as I looked at the frozen recording... at the illusory Twilight. I was ready to refuse when things first started going bad. I wanted to stay and help, so why? Now that I thought about it, my memory of the last few months leading up to the big sleep was full of holes. For that matter, who was that pony we were now being warned about? Are they even still alive?

"Sorry, I wish I could tell you I knew more," I mumbled, turning away from her. "From the sound of it, the long time in stasis has left my memory of some things just as patchy as that recording she left. I—"

We both froze. A plume of smoke was rising in the outskirts of the city. In fact, looking closer, it was the exact same direction I'd been flying before I'd been interrupted. It was the Pony Delight motel... The motel was on fire, and from the way the plume of smoke grew, the flames were spreading quickly. "Oh fucking... really!?" I cried out, taking flight toward the building, leaving the stunned detective in my wake. "I know I said I needed to find a better place to stay, but this is ridiculous!"

As I came in for a landing on the roadway before the motel, my transformation gave out and I was I was glad that my bug wings didn't need a whole lot of magic to glide. Evidently, I'd used up almost all of my reserves channelling that water spell for almost two hours straight. I was still conscious, and perfectly able to stand, but I probably couldn't even manage a twinkle from my horn.

The owner of the place, an aging mare by the name Greenie May, was panicking and fussing over one of the families that was staying closer to the front office. She startled a bit when I touched down beside her, but she calmed down when she saw it was just me. Caught me in my natural form the other day when I was coming out of the shower; didn't think I was still in.

My biggest concern was the fact that the fire brigade wasn't already on the scene. "Are all the other guests out?" I asked, tucking my wings away as I unstrapped my harness and dropped my headphones. A glance back at the inferno left me feeling antsy. It was the room directly beneath my own that seemed to have most of the fire, so anything I'd left in my room was probably scrap. Luckily I didn't unpack.

"N-no," she said in a shaky voice. Slowly, she lifted her hoof and pointed directly at the burning room. "Mr. Wicker from Bridlewood is still in his room."

Shit.

The windows had not yet broken, so I moved over to take a peek inside. The interior wall that backed into the bathroom was fully engulfed, along with the counter-top. Where in my own room a microwave had been, here there was just a burning metal frame. Down on the floor was my downstairs neighbour. He's breathing, but unconscious... Where the fuck's the fire ponies?

"Sorry 'bout the door, Greenie!" I called out as I ran over. The wood was hot, and probably getting ready to catch, and I knew the knob would be way too hot to simply turn. Spinning on my hooves, I kicked out just as I had when volunteering with the apple harvest in my teens. Apple trees didn't explode into burning splinters as the impact reverberated through my hooves, though, nor did they throw a gout of flame over my head. The door did, and I momentarily dove to the ground.

Whatever damage was done to my mane and tail, I didn't care. It'll grow back... eventually. In an instant I was back on my hooves and into the burning room. The air was thick with smoke, and as I crawled across the floor to the stallion, I was surprised to see what appeared to be a microwave door peeking out from beneath the bed. Based on the gash on the old man's head, I think I know the cause of the fire.

Somewhere above me, I heard a cracking sound and decided to hurry my ass up. Now, despite changelings having some properties in common with ants, like pheromone markers, specifically-bred forms, and sometimes even compound eyes, one thing we didn't possess was the ability to lift ten times our own body weight. This meant that I wouldn't just be tossing the old fellow over my back in a firepony's carry. I was also without my magic, which left me with only one option to get him out. I tugged him upright just enough that I could get my forelegs underneath his and drag him back towards the door.

It was slow going, and I was holding my breath because I found myself just high enough in this position to have my face in the smoke. What was worse was that couldn't even keep my eyes open between the heat and the irritation of the smoke. Somehow, I don't think this is what she meant when she told me to help guide and watch over the ponies, I thought darkly as I again heard a cracking sound from above.

My back slammed into a wall, causing my heart rate to spike. I was sure that I'd had my back pointed directly at the door. Before I could question which direction I'd deviated, though, some ponies called out. "Come on, Anon! You can do it!" That voice, it was Zipp? Her voice was definitely coming from my right, so I turned and dragged the stallion in that direction.

Then, just like that, I felt several pairs of hooves grab me and pull me out of that smokey inferno and away from the building. Perfect timing for a last minute save, too, as the ceiling collapsed into the room moments later. Now the bunk-beds are on fire, my oxygen-starved brain offered, forcing a giggle out of me that sounded more like a cough. Even as someone else wrenched the stallion from my grasp, I was laid out on my back by some strong hooves.

Something was slid over my mouth, and suddenly breathing got easier. Cracking my eyes open, I found a pair of paramedic ponies huddled over me. Behind them, or rather above us, I could see Zipp fluttering, looking nervous. It looked like one of the medics was about to shine a pen-light in my eyes to test pupilary response, but I just put my hoof to the plastic mask cupped over my muzzle and sat up. "Go help the other guy," I croaked. "Go on, git!"

Although the paramedics looked like they wanted to object, a certain winged private-eye came to my rescue. "Go on, I'll keep an eye on her," she assured, landing beside me and then waving her off with a wing. Once the medics joined the ones tending to the old man, she gave me a stern look. "What were you thinking? You could've died!"

Between the flames, the fear she was radiating, the sheer absurdity of what I'd done, I felt transported back fifteen years, give or take a few millennia. In my mind's eye I was back on the caboose of a train, looking out at the flaming wreck of an airship. "Don't you ever do that again!" my adoptive big sister admonished as she hugged me, unable to work out whether she was laughing or crying. "You're not allowed to save all of our flanks and then do something stupid like dying."

I realised then that I was crying. It was strange, but even after all the growing I'd done since then, I still fell into the same stupid habits; when people were in danger, when lives were on the line, it was like my own well-being took a backseat—regardless of how much I stood to lose. Protecting others, no matter the cost to myself. Then, as paradoxical as it was, I began to laugh.

"Sorry, Mom," I whispered to myself as I flopped back down onto my back. "Looks like I didn't learn my lesson after all... but maybe... that wasn't my lesson to learn..." Zipp was looking down at me in fear, and to her, I probably looked delirious or brain-damaged. "You had the Magic of Friendship, I have the magic of runes and whatever the fuck you call this..."

~ Elsewhere, Several Hours Later ~

It was not easy being an evil alicorn of fire. It was in fact a very high-stress job, made so by the fact that Opaline lacked both her magic and any sort of competent servants. Relying entirely on Misty to be her hooves in the greater world made things all the slower. On the flip-side, it meant that Opaline had a lot of downtime.

That meant long stretches binge-watching soap-operas on HoofFlix or the news on the TV in her parlour of dark and evil relaxation. After all, only the most depraved of villains did not keep up with the latest of television dramas. No, not Opaline; she was a visionary, a mare of culture—at least what little real culture there was left now that Neighpon was but a distant memory, and Prospero had burned long ago!

Unfortunately, there was definitely not any relaxation to be had in her parlour right now. For the last half-hour, she had been re-watching the same segment of the news. At first she hadn't been paying too much attention to what Skye Silver and Dazzle Feather, the anchors for the Zephyr Heights news, were discussing, instead reading a romance novel she'd confiscated from Misty. That was until she glanced up and glimpsed the subject of their discussion.

She could scarcely believe her eyes as she looked up at the screen. Surely her eyes had been playing tricks on her. There hadn't been a single sighting or mention of such a creature, not since before Celestia and Luna retired and left control of Equestria in that detestable Twilight Sparkle's hooves. Yet this was unmistakably...

She hit the rewind button on her remote control and looped back to the beginning of the segment. "And while the topic of Maretime Bay is on our minds, let's not forget that one of the city's most unusual new residents has also caught the public eye today," said the handsome pegasus stallion, Skye Silver, as a picture appeared on screen in the corner. It was a three-quarter profile shot of a largely equine face, although between the oddly shaped horn and the spots where it looked like there were seams on her face, it was clear it was not a pony. This was most certainly a changeling, and with eyes like those... "Local shape-shifting vlogger, Anonymous Flicker, was recorded running into a burning building to save a complete stranger, even though the local fire brigade was already on their way."

Even as footage played in the background showing the bug pony's courageous—or stupid, depending on how you looked at it—rescue, including a last-minute helping hoof from paramedics, the camera cut to the other news anchor. "Despite being somewhat of an outsider in the community, she's been working hard to fit in and get to know the ponies around her," Dazzle Feather summarised. "Between this and the museum contributions, she'll become a role-model for foals everywhere in no time." Looking back to her co-host, she asked, "Was there any word as to the cause of the fire?"

Skye nodded as the camera panned out to include him as well. "Evidently, the room's occupant—an older unicorn not used to mobile phone technology—fell victim to a common, but dangerous prank played by internet trolls on the naive." The footage playing in the background cut to a pair of colts throwing a mobile phone into a microwave and then hiding behind a door wrapped in tinfoil. "What a shame—"

Jamming her hoof down on the pause button, Opaline wondered why this was the first she was hearing about any of this? Surely in all the times her stooge had been in town, she must have encountered or seen something. "Misty!" she called out, rewinding the video to the still image of the changeling. The young unicorn rushed in within moments, looking as though she'd been in a deep sleep. "Can you explain to me why this is the first I'm hearing about a changeling in Maretime Bay?"

Misty looked blearily at the still image on the television before brightening up. "Oh, Anon? I think I've seen her around once or twice," she murmured, brushing some crust from the corner of her eye with a hoof. "She even has her own video blog, but she doesn't really transform into a lot of different ponies... I did meet her that once, though. Remember when I booped your snoot? She had to be the one that booped mine!"

The alicorn's expression darkened at the reminder, but she chose not to take it out on Misty for the time being. After all, the thought that it was a changeling hadn't even crossed Opaline's mind when it was first brought up. "Tell me more about this video blog, Misty," Opaline prodded. The name sounded vaguely familiar, but as far as she knew, the changelings all died out with Queen Chrysalis. The twisted mockery the ponies had made of them had died out along with the Equestria of old. "What sort of information does this Anon share?"

It took a few moments before an answer was presented; the young mare was either gathering her thoughts or trying to wake up fully. "Well, her first video was a short introduction, saying who and what she was, and a bunch of basic stuff like how she was from the past, how she didn't always used to be a bug, and what she ate," Misty listed off. "Video two talked a bit more about changelings and transformation. The third was a short one that I didn't really get the point of, but she was doing this weird thing where she was lying on clouds like a bed!"

Finally, a look of excitement crossed her face. Before Opaline could object, Misty darted out of the room, only to return seconds later holding her phone. "Today she was even talking her cutie mark, each tribe's magic, and she even demonstrated a spell! But it wasn't with her horn! She had this sort of black thing with a lot of markings on it and she shot ice at a giant glimmerberry the earth ponies grew!"

Misty pressed the phone into Opaline's hooves, and the alicorn could only watch the over-the-shoulder video as several ice spikes shot out from in front of the changeling's hoof, painting a happy face on the large plant that had grown in while the recording had been going on. She rolled the video back just enough to see the point when Anon showed off the 'black thing' Misty had mentioned. That was unmistakably a spell written in magics so old that the dark queen barely remembered them.

Having a changeling from the past—one who shouldn't have even existed—complicated things, but it was still something they could work around. Depending on the bug's leanings, she might not even be inclined towards interfering. Unfortunately, the addition of the old, runic magic added an extra wrinkle. It was entirely possible this changeling might become a rival, or was otherwise part of Twilight Sparkle's plot—some sort of insurance plan.

Misty may have been a bit socially awkward, but even she could see that Opaline's mood was pitching south quickly. "Is this... bad for your plan to get your magic back, and get me my cutie mark?" she asked. "Oh, or can we use her magic?"

That was not something that had yet been considered. If this Anonymous wasn't directly aligned with that detestable Twilight Sparkle or those five living in that hideous lighthouse, could they perhaps barter for magical spells like the one she'd used in the video, or the ancient knowledge clearly held within her head? They currently had no means to contain her or her power if she was hostile. Worse if she was even close to being as responsible as she was knowledgeable about magic, she likely wouldn't part with the spells.

"We shall proceed with our plans, albeit cautiously," Opaline announced, passing the phone back to her assistant. "Ascertain her disposition, and then we plan around it." It was as solid a plan as any she'd laid out, but still there was a lingering doubt. Why did that name sound so familiar?

Author's Note

Between this and Diaries of the Anonymous Filly, I might have a bit of an obsession with how broken and yet structured runic magic [and the construction of spells works in general in my variant setting], so seeing Anon having to deal with 'wild magic' from earth ponies seemed like a logical step to draw out an early magic rant for viewers.

Those of you who joined us after having followed Diaries of the Anonymous Filly might also note that Flicker is referring to her adoptive parent as Mom and not just Auntie. A lot can happen in fifteen years (give or take a few millennia), and typically guardians that transition to genuine parental figures usually get called Mom/Dad sooner or later.

Also, I wasn't joking in the blog post before this launched, nor in the description. I welcome questions directed at Anon. They could be mundane things like favourite foods, or whether they have anypony they like, or why she's there or what her big 'prank' was that she's trying to redeem herself after. You never know what questions could provoke a 'video' and a relevant story to pivot off of it.

Vlog 04: On Questioning Minds
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Vlogs of an Ancient Insect

Vlog 04: On Questioning Minds

What a disaster, I thought, looking at my reflection in the shop's door. My mane and tail had definitely seen better days. Sure, I could hide my bad mane day by 'putting on my face' so to speak, but it didn't change the fact that my mane and tail had suffered significant fire damage. Since I wanted ponies to get used to my buggy form, I'd been going au naturel a bit more often, but now that I looked like I'd lost a fight with a flamethrower, the changeling in the mirror looked a bit more... intimidating than normal.

That's what brought me to the Mane Melody salon. I wanted to see if the stylist Jazz Hooves could do anything before I ended up doing the easy thing, even if it meant I might have to replace some biomass. Besides, it wasn't like short manes were a bad thing. Zipp's mane didn't even go far down her neck, and she still looked good. Hell, It was almost as short as Hitch's. If I decide I don't like the way a short mane looks after all, I am a changeling. Even if I'm a queen, I can be whatever I wanna be. Would definitely throw ponies for a loop if I presented masculine for a while, and that alone might be worth it.

I was unable to stifle a yawn as I decided to just take the plunge. "Hey, Jazz?" I called out as I pushed the door open. "I know I don't have an appointment, but I was wondering if you could—" My words died in my throat. Seated in one of the salon chairs was a pony I'd only seen on the news or in Pipp and Zipp's family photos. That was Queen Haven of Zephyr Heights, in the midst of some sort of spa treatment, and in the chair next to hers was... Sunny? When she popped a cucumber slice off her eye to look at me, I slipped into a quick bow. "Apologies, your Highness; I did not mean to interrupt your treatment. I can come back later."

Even as I saw Sunny mouthing the words 'Help me', Queen Haven smiled. "Think nothing of it dear," she answered in a regal tone. "I'm just here for a little touch-up with my girls for Royal Portrait Day, isn't that right girls?" The older mare glanced around in confusion when no answer came. "Sunny, where did my girls go?"

At the spike of panic from Sunny, I imagine that she was here playing distraction for some reason or another, "I think I just passed them on my way over," I lied; truth be told, I hadn't seen either sister since I woke up in the sheriff's office lock-up and scared the daylights out of Hitch. "They were talking about grabbing a last-minute special accessory." I looked over to the red-headed stylist, even as Sunny discreetly face-hoofed. "I can come back later if now's a bad... "

Before Jazz Hooves had an opportunity to answer one way or another, the queen smiled. "Not at all, dear," Haven responded. "Come, sit. I would love to get to know more about you, especially after your heroic act the other day."

I considered returning to the office to torment Hitch, especially after the pleading look from Sunny. There were shenanigans going on, and without any sort of inkling of whether or not these were good shenanigans or bad ones, I wasn't sure I wanted a part of. I didn't imagine the mother of Zipp and Pipp was a bad pony, but I always had to be very careful how I behaved around crowns, lest the media get the wrong idea.

"I suppose it wouldn't hurt," I agreed, although I turned my attention to Jazz. "I was wondering if there was anything you could do to salvage my mane and tail?"

"I can certainly try," was her only answer. The mare led me over to one of the salon chairs and started getting inspecting my mane. Based on the muttering, it was either gonna be an expensive fix, or it was a hopeless affair. Maybe she's a miracle worker, though.

"So Anonymous," Queen Haven asked after a few moments. "You've introduced yourself as a queen in the past, but never what you are a queen of."

Oh, going right for the throat, I thought, using the large mirror in front of me to gaze at her. "As of right now, nothing," I admitted in an even tone. "In a few decades when I've established a proper hive, I'll be a proper queen, but as of right now, it's more a descriptor of my... I hate to use the word, but it represents my caste. Just as bees have queens, guards, workers, and drones, so do changelings. It's by my caste that I am even capable of ensuring the survival or extinction of my species."

Haven nodded knowingly. "Heavy is the head that wears the crown," she said in a sombre, albeit thoughtful voice. I could sense hints of both respect and doubt coming from her. "Yet still you risked everything to save a stranger..."

I shrugged. "When I establish my hive, I want to lead my children by example, rather than fear," I said firmly. "It didn't work for Chrysalis, but if I can establish a place in the world for my bugs, they won't ever need to resort to predation. We can use our powers to help others." Even if I've still got a grudge against the entity Harmony, I've warmed up to the principles.

Sunny piped up with, "That sounds really cool, and I know that ponies don't seem as wary of you these days."

After that, discussion quickly diverted to my plans. Did I plan on staying in Maritime Bay? Was I considering visiting Zephyr Heights or Bridlewood? Had I given any thought to how I would support myself until I was ready to start my hive? Where was I staying now that the motel had been closed down? You know, that sort of stuff. Honestly, if I didn't know any better, I'd wonder if the older mare wasn't trying to snag herself a court mage.

Until I'd seen the recording fragment of the message Twilight left in the Unity Crystals, I was considering doing a bit of travel and getting the other settlements used to me. If there was something going on, I might be better served to stick around. There was nothing really stopping me from visiting, though. For now, I was just gonna crash in the jail cell until Hitch realised he could just tell me to leave.

As for my income, I had my ideas about how to make some bits.The others definitely seemed fascinated with my bag of holding spell, and I had some ideas as to how I could make personalised spells. I still needed to prototype some things, like making them portable and compact. Unfortunately, it was very much an order-by-order basis, since it required a pony's true name in the spell diagram. Plus, until I'm sure ponies can be trusted with spells, I might wanna find a way to prevent reverse engineering.

~ 04 ~

The manecut we ended up settling on was something just short enough to be considered tomcoltish. Jazzy was willing to dye it, right up until I used bug magic to change the pigmentation of each strand of hair in my mane to resemble a certain blue speedster. She didn't ask me to leave after that, but her demeanour shifted, like the wind was let out of her sails. Then again, maybe she had some suggestions of her own?

After bidding farewell to the Queen, Sunny, and the stylist, I just sorta wandered for a bit. I wasn't exactly ready to press my luck tormenting Hitch for the laughs. There wasn't really anything that I wanted to do right now, and I was pretty sure the other hotel in town was booked well into next year. Hmm, books... Maybe I could check out that Wyld Wytch Edalyn book series I saw someone reading the other day.

Then again, I suppose I could just find somewhere to answer this big backlog of questions that had come in since the fire. Who knew a little heroism was enough to spike the curiosity of others? Save one guy tricked by internet trolls and suddenly everyone wants a question answered. I'd even taken the time to write several of them out to make answering them in bulk easier.

That brought to question the matter of where to do the recording, though. I'd been told in no uncertain terms by a certain by-the-rules killjoy that I couldn't just go recording videos on a roof, regardless of whether or not the building was occupied or not. Similarly, I didn't feel like going caving or walking on clouds. I suppose I could just...

I didn't finish that thought, as I caught sight of a certain pony I'd been hoping to see again. The unicorn I mimicked on the Hitch-stalking day was seated on a bench near the beach. I could tell by the vibrant blue curls peeking over the back of the bench. The young mare was hunched over, radiating anxiety and disappointment.

Quietly, I made my way over to the back of the bench and, hooking my forelegs over the top, I peered down at what seemed to have her attention. It was a mobile phone, much like every pony in this era seemed to have, but from the look of it, it was probably a previous year's model or a hoof-me-down from a family member. Rather than the looking at anything on the screen, the young mare seemed to be fixated on on a hairline crack spiderwebbing across the glass panel of the screen.

"Oooh, cracked screen," I said aloud in a sympathetic tone. "How'd you manage that?"

Misty let out an adorable, startled little squeak, and lost grip of her phone. It bounced between her hooves a couple of times as she tried to catch it, until it got away from her. Luckily, I was there to snag it with my levitation spell. Heck, she looked kinda grateful when I passed it back to her, wreathed in my blue magical field.

"I dropped it on some rocks at the beach when the ground shook," she admitted. It definitely didn't sound like the entire story, but I knew better than to pry. Some ponies simply didn't like it when you drew attention to their clumsiness. "Do you always sneak up on ponies like that?"

I shrugged, looking over the safety barrier in front of the bench and staring over the water. "Only if I wanna get close enough to talk without spooking them. Sorry 'bout the scare, by the way," I answered, flicking my gaze back to her. "Your name's Misty, right? Mine's Anonymous Flicker."

Funny enough, after I mentioned her name, the disappointment she'd been radiating was almost completely eclipsed by an aura of fear and a fresh bloom of anxiety. It was sort of odd, but maybe it just had to do with all those unicorn suspicions. Except, rather than serenade me with a repetition of "Bing bong!" and a demonstration of a jinxie dance, she got herself under control enough to nervously ask, "You, uh... you can't read minds, can you?"

I'll be the first to admit that laughing at such a genuine question was not a nice thing. That I went so far as to drop to the ground in hysterics probably helped very little. Still, I was expecting something... more, you know? Like, 'Are you gonna drain my emotions now?' Asking whether I was psychic had just caught me completely off guard.

"Goodness no," I assured her as I got my laughter reigned in. "Your surface level emotions, sure, and even what you're feeling deep down if I pry, but nothing as clear as thoughts."

Brushing the tears off my face, I rolled back to my belly before once again draping myself over the back of the bench. "No, I sorta borrowed your appearance without permission a while back, when I was stalking the sheriff as part of a bet, and the coffee dude called me by your name," I explained, momentarily transforming all the way into a familiar blue pegasus before returning to my normal state, rainbow mane intact. "It's one thing for me to mimic ponies I knew were cool with it, and those no longer with us, but turning into you without your permission wasn't cool of me. That's why I sought you out... So I could apologise."

Her expression was inscrutable, but her fear quickly bled away, and her anxiety dropped back to previous levels. If anything, she seemed surprised to hear me apologising to her. What kind of home life does someone have to have to have that sort of reaction. "Uh... thanks?"

My eyes flicked down to the phone in her hooves. "I could probably fix that if you want," I offered, glancing across the screen's surface. "Glass looks intact, so a simple Mending spell oughta fix that right up."

There was a lot of suspicion from the young mare, but I was used to that sort of thing. Even before waking up in the current era, some ponies never really trusted that I wasn't about to attack. There was a lot of lingering stigma from one queen's reign, and no amount of goodwill earned by the hive of reformed changelings ever truly erased the trauma my black carapace represented. It was no different now.

She looked from me, down to the phone, and then back to me. "What's in it for you?" Misty wondered aloud, although she immediately looked embarrassed as she brought a hoof up to cover her mouth.

Fair. "Not a thing," I responded with a smile, already projecting and transforming the formula for the cantrip-level transmutation spell into a section of my foreleg. "Sometimes, all we need is to be shown a little kindness, and sometimes, it's just nice to get your good deed for the day out of the way." I held my other hoof over the spell now engraved in my shell and readied myself to channel it. "What'cha say?"

Again, she looked down at her phone. Curiosity, excitement... yeah, you wanna see it, don'tcha kid? "Yes, please," she whispered holding out her phone.

With permission granted, I activated the spell and then reached out with my now glowing hoof. "Boop!" I exclaimed, as I tapped the screen with the glowing hoof. Even as that glow moved over from my hoof to the surface of the screen, we could both see the glass starting to knit itself back together. A dent on the side of the phone itself even popped back out before the spell concluded. "And there you have it,"

As Misty went all starry-eyed, looking at her phone appearing as good as brand new, I reverted the surface of my leg. It was probably time for me to get back to looking for a place to crash or a place to record. Either or would be good. That was the plan, at least, until there came the voice of a certain someone.

"Um... about good deeds," the young unicorn mentioned, hesitance clear in her voice. "I can't offer much, but if there's anything I can do to pay you back..."

~ 04 ~

When Misty returned to Opaline's castle, it was rather late. Although she'd ultimately failed at her objective, it wasn't like hadn't gotten anything out of her excursion. Anonymous had been surprisingly helpful, and had even spent some time with her after fixing her phone screen. She almost felt bad not being honest with the bug pony, but she understood why Opaline wanted her to be cautious.

The dark alicorn was in her throne room when Misty entered, staring down at the magical pool. "So, did you trap them?" Opaline asked, barely looking up from the pool as Misty pushed open the door. "Have those pesky pegasus princesses been provided their stony prison?"

Unable to meet Opaline's eyes, Misty instead stared down at the pool, which seemed to be set to observe the outside of the Crystal Brighthouse, and the pillar of pris-beam energy radiating into the sky. "For awhile, but..."

"But what, Misty," Opaline pressed, frustration already seeping into her voice. "What part of your plan failed?"

Ears drooping, she looked away from the pool and towards the side-door through which the hall to her chambers could be found. Admitting her failures to the mare was akin to admitting weakness, and that was something Misty knew Opaline couldn't abide. "Pipp got a message out on her ClipTrot channel, and ponies showed up to save them," she admitted. "I didn't know there was a hole in the cave roof big enough for them to get a signal through."

With a long drawn-out sigh, the alicorn lit her horn and used what little magic she could access to slam the door shut behind her ward. "Ugh, Misty, what am I going to do with you?" she muttered. "Did anything useful come from today, or has this entire day been a waste?"

Rather than answer, Misty took out her phone, opened ClipTrot, and loaded the changeling's vlog. Queuing up the newest video, she then passed it to Opaline. The alicorn's eyebrows raised when she saw what was on the screen; her ward and the young changeling queen—sporting a garish new mane-style, no less—were standing side-by-side on a scenic overlook in Maretime Bay. The Misty in the paused video looked slightly uneasy, but still... Tentatively, the alicorn hit play.

"Hey, hey, Maretime Bay! Your—hopefully—favourite changeling queen, Anonymous Flicker is here today with a special guest host," the insect on the screen announced, throwing a forelimb over the withers of the pony beside her. "Say hello, Misty!"

Flustered by the physical contact, the unicorn in the video let out a quick, "Hello, Misty!" Opaline could only look up at the real thing in disbelief. Even as the video played, and Anon outlined how she'd gotten a lot of questions, Opaline couldn't stop staring at her young stooge. "Does proceed with caution mean nothing to you?"

Before the mortified young mare before her could respond, the pony's on-screen doppelganger spoke again. "Your first question is from a pony named Sora Borealis," Misty read aloud from a sheet of paper. "You said something before about eating emotions. Does that mean you can tell what ponies are feeling? Can you read minds?"

Onscreen, the changeling nodded. "Yes on the first part, but a gigantic no to the mind-reading," she responded after pretending to take time to consider the question. "Most ponies are quite expressive, and they broadcast their emotional spectrum openly, so I usually know how most ponies are feeling. Back in the day, though, a lot of the Canterlot Royal Guard were good at hiding their surface-level emotions. Prying beyond the surface stuff is super rude though. It's like... seeing what your neighbour has on the clothesline versus rooting through their drawers."

There was a moment that looked as though a few seconds had been cut, and then Misty was there with the next question. "Morning Dew asks, 'If magic can grow huge plants and make ice from thin air, could it also be used to heal somepony who's hurt or sick? If so, how much can it cure?'"

That elicited a sigh from the changeling, and there was another cut. "There are types of healing magic and spells out there," Anon confirmed. "I can't speak for more innate magics like those tied to special talents, but stuff like medical magic usually requires a more in-depth knowledge of the body, its functions, and the like. That said, the effect of magic will vary based on two factors: the type of damage being healed, and how long it takes before your body becomes oversaturated with magic and stops responding to healing spells."

Anon held up her right hoof to the camera, although there was a mark that hadn't been on her foreleg before. "I got into a bit of trouble back when I was a filly, and on top of having a hole going clean through my leg, doctors had to fix up my bones," she said with a laugh, as though it were some kind of fond memory. "I managed to create stress fractures in every bone in my body, and by the time they were done fixing my bones, they had to let the hole heal naturally."

Both the Misty on the screen, and the Misty in the room, did a good job of looking put off by the proclamation. Even Opaline was somewhat disturbed. For a creature to talk about their own suffering as if it was merely Tuesday for her was rattling, even today. Was the changeling entirely sane, or could she snap like little Luna had?

Co-host Misty interrupted by redirecting the conversation away from Anon's grim reminiscence. "Crazy Eightball had a good question," she commented. "When Sunny brought the gem things together, she got those weird wing and horn things, right? Does that mean she's like you, since you have wings and a horn too? What's the difference?"

When there was another jarring cut, she paused the video and looked imploringly to Misty. "She knows a lot of swears," the unicorn explained, "but she wants to keep her blog relatively foal friendly."

"I'm not sure if she can be said to be a true alicorn," Anon said upon the video being resumed. "That said, no, she's not like me. Although a changeling queen's power can rival an alicorn's fully-realised strength, an alicorn's strength comes from their connection to their aspect, whereas my power comes from consumed love and growth over time. I wish I could explain better, but Mom was the one that studied everything."

After a few moments for that to sink in, Misty offered up another question. "Fire Whiskey sent a message asking, 'You said that changelings can feed on love. Does it have a taste, and if yes, can you describe it?'"

It took a few moments for the changeling queen to answer. She'd gone so still that if not for the movements of the Misty on-screen, Opaline might've thought the video had frozen. "Gosh, now that is a hard question," she admitted. "Kinda sorta, but not in the way you think. It's not so much a flavour as it is... Refreshing? If you drink cold water on a hot day, it's not unlike that, but it leaves you feeling all warm inside. You want to savour it, but at the same time, it's something you can't get enough of."

"Are all of these so inane?" Opaline asked her assistant. "These ponies have a veritable trove of information at their hooves, and they don't even know it."

Misty just shrugged as her counterpart on screen read out the next question. "Cracked Egg asks, 'Did you ever have a pet? Are you planning to have a pet, and if so, what kind?'"

The changeling queen shook her head. "No and no. Although I had a wild possum that travelled with me for a time, I've never had a pet. As for right now, it'd be irresponsible to take in any sort of pet when I'm currently without home or fixed income." For a moment, the changeling looked very seriously at the camera, and it felt like she was looking directly into Opaline's soul. "Ponies, although having a pet can be an enriching experience, it is a lifetime commitment—their lifetime. If you cannot ensure a decent quality of living, or afford costly medical bills, please reconsider adopting. When things started falling apart, my friend Fluttershy's animal sanctuary had an influx of sick or elderly pets whose owners could no longer afford to care for them, and some whom could never afford it in the first place, creating health complications. It broke the poor mare's heart, and it wasn't fair to the animals either."

Co-host Misty looked dejected at the end of that little speech. Her ears were folded back, her eyes looked wet with tears, and when she read out the next question, her heart didn't really seem in it. "Celeste wrote, 'Hi Anon, I was reading some science fiction and it got me thinking about something. Are you able to turn ponies into changelings like you, or just transform them into something else in general? I've never really felt right in this body of mine and ever since I've found your blog I've been insanely jealous of your ability to shapeshift.'"

Although the previous question had clearly gotten to Anon, this one straight-up made her look away from the camera. As she looked out over the water, she spoke. "I know how you feel, believe it or not," she said in a hoarse whisper. "Before I became a changeling, before I was a pony, I was something else in another world... I didn't exactly feel used to my pony body, but by the time I'd become a changeling, I'd been through so much that I couldn't even remember what I used to look like."

Blue flame rolled up the changeling's body, and then there stood a tall biped, soft-looking skin of the same black lustre as her chitin had been. A long mane of long rainbow hair spilt down the biped's back, covering their tailless buttocks and anything beneath. If not for the way the hips flared out, there would've been no hint as to the gender. Then, crossing an arm across its chest, it turned, carefully crouching back into frame so that the camera could see the tiny button nose, flat face, and big sad eyes staring back. "The ability to change one's self is only as good as one's ability to keep their goal in sight," she whispered. "I lost sight of that vision when an entire species' cumulative knowledge was stuffed into my head, and this is the closest I'd ever get... but that isn't me anymore."

Opaline could scarcely believe what she'd seen. Long ago, before the age of Starswirl, or even of alicorns, such creatures had been mentioned in legends as ancient friends to ponies. Some even sought to find those creatures through the art of scrying. The only time Opaline had ever glimpsed them were in completely separate planes from Equestria. Humans, they'd been called, but the ones she'd seen were tribal and warlike—vindictive and spiteful; not at all the sort to befriend a completely separate species... and now here one was, albeit reincarnated as a changeling.

Reverting to her original form, Anon looked down at the ground. "I know you're probably coping with your own kinds of hurt, but what it would take to turn someone into a changeling isn't something I'd inflict on anyone," she apologised. "It'd take a number of attendant changelings to create the amount of royal jelly needed for such a transformation, in addition to a whole lot of harvested love. It'd be a long time stuffed in a pod undergoing a painful transformation, and if that didn't break you, the hunger just might drive you feral..."

Misty looked away from the recording. Thinking back, that was probably a painful thing to have to answer, especially since it would probably destroyed that pony's hopes and dreams. It still struck her as odd that she'd choose to answer it, since she definitely would have had time to answer. A more sociable pony would probably have offered a hug, but she'd just stared awkwardly.

"Last question," the Misty on camera announced. "Rainy Skies wrote, 'I saw what you did to that fruit, giving it a 'chilling smile'. Pretty 'cool' trick... Okay, okay, enough with the ice jokes, but runes, huh? Could anypony learn this? You made it sound like we could, but is it realistically possible? Gotta say, conjuring up ice on command would be pretty nice, since it gets pretty warm around here."

Despite this pertaining to the changeling's self-proclaimed favourite topic, there was no life to her answer. "If not for the innate talent in runes provided by my cutie mark, I would've spent decades learning about runes before I got anywhere close to he level of skill I have with them today," she said flatly. "In time, when I think that ponies are ready, I could probably teach about working with runes and spell creation. Until ponies better acclimate to their magic, I shan't do more than perhaps release a book of safe runic spells or translate the copy of Your Horn and You: a Foal's Primer for Magic I have in my magic storage. I might even make a few artefacts containing spells in them on a by-contract basis."

The camera seemed to levitate closer to the changeling's face, which looked very grave. "It's not that I want to hoard knowledge and power for myself, everypony." As the camera pulled back, there was a 3D aerial image of Maretime Bay hovering above Anon's outstretched hoof. In moments, the illusory image of the city was engulfed in a bright light that forced the camera to dim. When the light faded away, the centre of the city was but a massive crater, the outside of which was engulfed in black flame. There was a haunted look in her eyes. Those were eyes that Opaline had seen in soldiers that had come back from war so long ago. "One mistake or really bad day is all it would take to turn everything we know and love into this. An extreme example, to be sure, but magic is not a toy."

As the illusory image dissipated into tiny motes of light, the camera pulled back to reveal a terrified looking Misty. "This is the ancient queen who flew too close to the sun so you don't have to, signing off."

The video ended abruptly. The alicorn looked slowly from the phone to Misty. "Up until she got all scary, she was actually pretty nice," the blue pony offered, accepting the phone back from her mistress. "After she ended the video, she apologised for getting all weird... I think I saw her walk into a bar not long before I left to come back."

"You're dismissed for now, Misty," Opaline said in a strange-sounding voice. "I'll have to intervene on my own as far as those ponies are concerned, but... you did well in bringing this to my attention."

If it weren't for the scary face the alicorn was making, the praise might've made the youth feel happy. The way Opaline was reacting to the video just made the whole thing seem hollow. She couldn't tell what the alicorn was feeling, but this was far worse than anything she'd seen from her before. That's what scared her most.

Once Misty left her throne room, Opaline used her scrying pool to look for the changeling queen. Exactly as Misty had said, the pool revealed the insectine pony slouched over at a bar counter. It looked as if there were a few empty beer bottles sitting beside her, but the big thing worth noting was the two-thirds empty bottle of tequila she was taking shots from. Even though the bug seemed to be making pleasant conversation with the horrified bartender, it was quite obvious she'd been crying.

"What sort of monster did Twilight Sparkle curse us with?" Opaline murmured, rubbing her temples as she fought the onset of a migraine. How could the existence of a true changeling queen have gone unnoticed in the fifteen years following Queen Chrysalis' reformation? Come to think of it, when would Twilight have even had time to experiment on a changeling nymph, give it a cutie mark, and groom it to become proficient in the old magics? The mare was too busy with her school and raising that orphan earth pony... Emerald Flicker, wan't it? That child never had a sister though...

Author's Note

Next time on Vlogs of an Ancient Insect: On Hangovers and Homes.

Vlog 05: On Hangovers and Homes
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Vlogs of an Ancient Insect

Vlog 05: On Hangovers and Homes

There was something to be said for quiet mornings. After the hectic day trying to get ponies to look past her alicorn-ness while trying to push the idea of a community garden, being able to look out the windows of the Brighthouse to see the work her friends put in was well worth the hassle. After all, if she hadn't faced the hardship, she might never have come to the realisation that it was in doing her best to help others was the catalyst of her transformation.

The only thing that put a damper on that was the fact that nopony had seen or heard from Anonymous Flicker in a few days. She'd seemed genuinely distressed towards the end of her last video. The barkeeper had even approached her just yesterday asking if anypony had checked in on the changeling, citing concerns over he sheer volume of alcohol the bug pony had consumed. The only problem was that the closest thing there'd been to a home had been deemed uninhabitable. Even Hitch, who'd tolerated the bug crashing on the cot in the sheriff's office lock-up, hadn't seen her. They couldn't call to check in on her, either, because her phone was off.

Turning away from the window, Sunny returned to the table and picked up her breakfast smoothie. Although Izzy was still asleep, Pipp and Zipp were both present. Unfortunately, they didn't seem to be enjoying the morning as much as she had. There were bags under their eyes, and the young social media influencer looked bedraggled. In fact, Sunny hadn't really seen either of them this worn down in the mornings since they'd set boundaries with a certain sleeping somepony.

"Rough night?" Sunny asked as she started preparing some pancakes for the sisters.

Both sisters groaned. "I don't know how you can sleep through it," Zipp muttered, sipping a mug of what Sunny was convinced was straight espresso. "With all the weird noises coming up through the vents at night, I'd have thought you'd have noticed."

When Sunny shook her head, pouring some batter onto a frying pan, Pipp let out a tired chuckle. "Maybe the Brighthouse is haunted?" she asked, although nopony was sure if she was serious or not—not even Pipp. "I mean, it can't be too bad. Izzy's been getting up when it starts, taking a glass of water down into the basement, talking to herself a bit, and then she comes back up after the noises stop, so maybe she's doing some superstitious unicorn stuff to quiet it down?"

That piqued the earth pony's interest. Flipping over the pancake, she gave both sisters a look. "And you're sure there's nothing down there?"

Once Zipp finished her drink, she nodded. "We went down yesterday morning with a flashlight, but couldn't see anything out of the ordinary," she explained. "Besides the light-switch no longer working, there's nothing really down there."

"Oh, that's just Anon." Everypony looked over to the stairs, where a yawning Izzy was coming down from the sleeping area. "Morning girls. You two look exhausted."

"Wait, Anon's haunting our basement?" asked Pipp.

"Anon's dead!?" yelled Zipp.

"Why didn't you tell anypony? She's been missing for days!" implored Sunny.

The three ponies stared at Izzy, unsure of how to handle the sheer casualness with which the unicorn was regarding things. Izzy, for her part, just levitated over a bowl and a box of cereal, pouring herself a portion before returning the box to the cupboard. While she dined on her own breakfast, she magicked over a serving tray, a glass, a pitcher full of water, and a package of saltines. "Don't be silly; Anon's not dead," she answered between mouthfuls. "Sure, her phone kinda sorta ran out of charge, but Anon's just sleeping off all that nasty booze."

"Well, that explains where all the crackers went." Sunny blinked owlishly at her, removing the pancake from the pan just in time. "How did she get down there, and why didn't you tell anypony?" Luckily, Zipp was there to ask the question everypony was wondering. "For that matter, why didn't we see her yesterday morning?"

Izzy shrugged. "I brought her down there," she explained, finishing her cereal and taking the bowl over to he sink. "When I was driving my uni-cycling cart home, I saw her stumbling out of the bar, drunk as a skunk with just as much funk." Once her bowl was washed and placed in the drying rack, she continued, "She was in the process of asking me if I knew somewhere dark where she could sleep it off when she passed out...

"Nopony was home, so I hosed her off and put her down in the storage room," she explained. "Y'know, because it's dark and quiet there. As for why I didn't tell anypony... Nopony asked, and I thought she might want her privacy." She paused, as if lost in thought. "Although I haven't actually seen her since I put her down there. Did any of you know she could go invisible? Because I didn't."

That caused Zipp to perk up. After the whole sunglasses affair, she'd been looking for an excuse to use the high-tech visor her unicorn friend had somehow put together. Assuming Izzy wasn't just being a little more unhinged than usual, that the basement wasn't haunted, and Anon was in fact down there, it would be the perfect opportunity to try it out.

"If you wait for us, we'll go with you," Zip offered. "Right girls?"

"Yeah!" Sunny agreed, starting another pancake. "If all she's been having is soda crackers and water, maybe she's ready for something a bit more substantial."

Smiling, the purple pegasus princess provided her two bits. "And I think I have an old charging cradle that should work for her model of phone! Since she probably lost hers in the fire, she can have that."

At that, everypony nodded in agreement and got to work. While Sunny prepared the pancakes and a smoothie the changeling might like, Izzy set places for four. With speed unrivalled by any currently-living pegasus, Zipp zoomed up to the shared bedroom and grabbed the visor off its charger at her workstation. Finally, Pipp tracked down the old phone charger in question and set it up in the living room.

Once preparations were complete, the four gathered at the door down into the basement/storage room. Although Izzy was now levitating the pitcher of water and a glass alongside her, the changeling's portion of food was left on the table. "You know, now that I think of it, I don't think she's left the storage room once," Izzy commented as Sunny opened the door. She attempted to flick on the lights, but true to what the siblings had said, the light didn't come on. "Does she even use the bathroom?"

Without the ceiling light to illuminate the windowless space, the shadows in the room cast by the still-open door seemed to stretch off into unnatural darkness. While the group walked down the ramp, the unicorn at the head of the group to provide better light, Zipp had slipped her visor down over her eyes and cycled through the different modes. Night vision was out of the question with all this extra light, but perhaps the thermal, heartbeat, or X-ray modes could find something. There was also a lingering scent in the air, almost reminding them of antiseptic... or cloud vodka.

Nothing about the floor or wall seemed to particularly stand out as she looked over the room several times. The only thing that particularly stood out was the presence several buckets on the workbench, one of which seemed to be slightly above room temperature. As she drew closer, that ethanol odour grew stronger. Why would anypony collect alcohol in buckets, though?

It wasn't until she looked directly above the workbench that she noticed the small thermal pocket standing out. These weren't as high as a pony's core temp, but hot enough to glow orange. Without any of the vision filters enabled, the spot on the ceiling was completely unremarkable, but its heat signature almost made it appear as though there was a curvature to it that her naked eye couldn't detect. As if to confirm her hunch that they found their bug, the X-ray view revealed a small pony-like shape curled up inside the anomaly. It would've struck her as unusual if they hadn't observed the changeling taking on smaller forms in the past.

"Anon, why don't you come down from there and come have breakfast with us," Zipp called up. When she noticed the others looking at her weirdly, she smirked and tapped the side of her visor. "She might be able to hide from our eyes, but she can't hide from this baby."

As if to answer, there came a groan up above. It sounded almost disoriented. "Izzat you, Izzy?" came a foalish voice. "Why do you sound like Zipp...?"

"Everypony got concerned because nopony knew where you were," Izzy responded, looking up at the spot on the ceiling the white pegasus was staring. "So I told them you were down here."

"Right, gimme a moment to do something for my eyes, and then I'll fix the light..." There was a muffled sound that they'd come to associate with the sound of the bug doing her shapeshifting magic, and then the lightbulb in the room came on. Properly lit, they could now see that the spot the bug had been hiding was casting a shadow on the wall. It appeared to be an almost perfect camouflage but for the shadow it cast. Whatever she had cocooned herself in lit with blue flame, rolling down from its point of contact until it was just her mane, which returned to its shortened and rainbow-dyed state.

Without the flames or the strange cocoon, they were left with the sight of the bug standing upside-down on the ceiling. "Uh, you're not gonna tell Hitch about this, are you?" Anon asked, with an embarrassed look. "I kinda promised him I'd stop doing the whole upside down thing."

Looking starry-eyed at the compact bug queen, Pipp cooed, "Aww, look at how cute she is when she's small like that. Can we keep h—"

With the grace of a drunk cat, Anon released whatever hold she had on the ceiling and let gravity reassert itself. She caught herself with her wings just before she could hit the bench and knock over the contents of the buckets. That said, the bug did land on the surface in a bit of a daze and seemed to look about for an empty bucket. They said seemed because they couldn't see her eyes all that well. Putting her back to them, she stuck her head in a bucket, and the room filled with the sound of a liquid being poured. "Any of you have anything that runs on ethanol? Got like three litres of one hundred percent pure right here."

"—and it's ruined."

~ 05 ~

The other four were staring at me as I inhaled a stack of pancakes larger than my current tiny form. Although Izzy seemed to be starry-eyed over how cute 'bug-filly Anon' was—and I was super thankful for all the good emotions she was radiating for me to passively feed off as well—the other three seemed kinda unsettled by the semi-transparent nictating membranes I'd added to my eyes to make light a bit more tolerable for my hung-over ass. Even Pipp seemed less enthused about my small form after my ethanol expectoration exhibition. Not that I could particularly blame them; from where they stood, it probably looked like my eyes had gone completely black like something out of a horror movie.

While I ate, I answered what questions I could. How had I hidden myself like that? Why was there three litres of pure ethanol in buckets on the workbench in the basement? What had set me off, and why had my mood so rapidly changed in that video? Did changelings even need to actually use the bathroom? Yeah, guess which one asked that blunt question.

Hiding myself like that was a technique I'd figured out from the combined knowledge of an entire species that rested inside my head. See, before the last of the changelings all lived under Chrysalis' rule in the badlands, there used to be smaller cells all across the continent. Often they'd live among ponies without ever being detected, but during a molt they couldn't exactly be transformed, so until their new carapace had hardened and it was safe to once again transform, many infiltrators would use some spare biomass to create a cocoon to mimic their surroundings. It also made for a great way to be undisturbed when sleeping off hangovers. Don't ask me if I knew from experience prior to today.

Speaking of, even though I could drink alcohol to get drunk, a changeling's body actually can't fully metabolise alcohol like a pony's can. It'll just keep re-circulating through our system until all the non-ethanol materials are stripped away until it collects in our bellies as pure ethanol to be regurgitated. If it stays in us for too long after fully concentrated, we can die... to say nothing of the nasty-hangovers that might make us wish for death. I'd rather just collect some sorrow, bottle it, and then drink someone else's sorrows away.

Being highly attuned to emotions, changelings were known to be susceptible to mood disorders. Changeling queens had it even worse, and not just because they have the weight of their species resting on their shoulders. If a changeling, especially a queen, couldn't get enough love and biomass, their body began to eat away at itself to stay alive, and at peak levels of starvation, a changeling could begin experiencing symptoms of dementia or acquired psychopathy. For someone who had mood and anxiety disorders before becoming a changeling, well, let's just say I usually needed to keep a closer eye on what I—and others around me—feel, lest I slip into a depression spiral.

The trigger-point for my depressive episode... I didn't exactly keep it a secret that was something else before a pony, and the form I'd taken during the video was a close approximation of the species I'd been. Even fifteen pony years after the fact, I still didn't feel entirely comfortable in my own skin, although being able to transform into anything I wanted within my capabilities did help. To be reminded of that while simultaneously quashing a stranger's own dreams of being able to feel comfortable in their own fur... it upset my carefully-balanced state of mania.

As for bathrooms, I certainly could still use a toilet, although it was far less frequent than ponies did. Usually, it was just to flush out built-up toxins my kidneys and bug liver could filter out properly, or remove inorganic compounds from the body. Waste was, if you could get past the pun, rather wasteful. Most biological material like plant matter, animal flesh, and bone could be broken down into biomass to be magically compressed or decompressed as needed. There was also the matter of matter/energy exchange and the cost to convert, especially if taking a smaller form. The more transformation a bug did, the more mass it needed in addition to love to retain a healthy state.

As I patted my belly, with a happy sigh, I looked over to Sunny. "Thanks for the meal, Sunny," I concluded, putting my hooves together and bowing slightly. Casting a glance over into the living room, I saw on the coffee table, beside the charging cradle that currently worked to breathe life back into my mobile device, my harness and glasses neatly laid out. "Once my phone's charged, I'll just get out of your manes. I ate up enough of your time—" I looked to the plates of Zipp and Pipp, which I don't think had actually seen any food yet. My cheeks began to flush beneath my chitin. "—and your food."

That got a chuckle out of them all, as well as one of those adorable giggle-snorts of Izzy's. "We're just glad you're alright, Anon," Sunny said, reaching across the table to grasp my hoof with hers. "Lots of ponies were asking about you, including that member of the Filly Four you had on your show last time."

I blinked at that. I wasn't big on cliques,or who was famous for what, but that name sounded familiar. They were some rising group of social media influencers, weren't they? Misty was a big-shot all along, huh? And I made a right ass of myself.

"Yeah, and besides, we like having you around!" Izzy chirped, throwing her hoof on top of Sunny's. "You're always up to something interesting, and you're super smart! Remember when you were stalking Hitch? That protect and serve idea? Brilliant! I've almost finished something super special for Hitch and Sparkie!"

Next to speak up was Zipp. "You're probably the closest thing we have to an expert on magic," Zipp added as her hoof joined the stack. "Plus, even if you don't remember anything about Twilight Sparkle's warning now, you might later on, and who knows; your powers could be useful on an investigation."

I looked to the pony princess of pop and pegasi. If I knew anything about pattern recognition, she'd be next. "Even if you've adapted to the modern world, you still haven't had nearly enough time to decompress," she added in a helpful voice as her hoof of course joined the pile atop mine. "Wouldn't it be nice to have somewhere you could stay, where there are others who can cheer you up while you're feeling down?"

"Are you guys trying to ask me to stay here with you?" I asked, once more looking at each pony. When they nodded, I sighed and gently slid my hoof out from beneath theirs. "Can I have some time to think on it?"

"Of course!" they all said in unison. Then, as if that wasn't quite enough, Izzy added in, "In the meantime, why not have a nice hot shower? I thought I got most of the booze smell off you with the hose before I brought you inside, but now you smell like the shed behind the Crystal Tea Room."

Although the others immediately started staring at the unicorn, possibly in confusion, I gave myself a quick sniff. There was definitely a strong alcohol odour coming from my shell, but it was worst where the joints in my carapace were. It made a sort of sense. Like ponies, I could technically sweat under hot conditions in order to stay cool, but the body could also sweat out toxins... I guess when alcohol keeps entering the changeling circulatory system, literal alcohol sweat would be a thing if not removed fast enough.

"Yeah, I'll take you upon that shower offer," I grunted. "Would be just my luck for someone to light a match and have me catch."

I mean, although I'd gotten a tour the first time I stopped by, the toilets never came up. Neither Zipp nor Pipp had anything to eat yet, and Sunny looked like she was running a bit late, too. Even though Hitch apparently had a space here for him, he seemed to live at the station during the weekdays, too. That left only one pony for the job. With that, Izzy volunteered to show me to the bathroom.

Once I was by myself, I turned on the water to a lukewarm setting. If nothing else, I was a considerate house guest. Since most of the stuff ponies had now ran off electricity or maybe gas, there was an upper limit of how much hot water they had, and while I might be able to provide them an... upgrade of sorts in the future, it wouldn't do for me to use up all their hot water in the meantime. All I really needed was the water and maybe some soaps, so it wasn't like I'd even have to fuck with anyone's shampoos.

When the water was at the right temperature, I hopped under the stream. Although my primary reason to be there was to wash away the scents, it also was a nice way to help clear my head. The pressure of the water beating on my carapace, as well as the sensation of the rivulets of water cascading down my mane and back, was easy to get lost in. With staccato drumming of water pounding away into a soothing symphony, I found myself relaxing, the last vestiges of my multi-day hangover washing away with the funk on the shell.

With a bit more of a pep, I found myself tapping to an ear-worm from one of Pipp's videos. "Come on ponies, show me what you got," I sang in the pegasus mare's voice, swaying my hips from side to side as I bobbed my head. "I said show me what you got! Here we go now! Here we go!"

The ponies down stairs could probably hear me singing, but I didn't care. They could think I was mad for all I cared. All that mattered was building that positive vibe, and singing in the shower was as good as any. "Pony-pony, do the pony-ony-ony! Pony-pony, do the pony-ony-ony!" Turning slightly, I lifted my hooves and did a short pirouette before grabbing the bar of soap to rub into my shell. "Pick up your hooves and slide to the right. Shake your mane now, side-to-side!"

After rinsing off the suds, shutting off the water, and reaching into my pocket dimension to fetch my toothbrush and toothpaste, I slowly started transforming myself back up to my normal size. Rather than take on my 'default' pony form when I stepped out of the shower, I did something different. My jawline and muzzle became a bit more squared, and my musculature filled out a teensy bit. I set my eyes to the same handicap I'd gotten used to all those years ago, but I pulled my mane back in—it was otherwise still the same rainbow mess I'd left it as.

Honestly, like this, I almost look like Blue, I thought, squinting at the stallion in the mirror as I brushed my flat pony teeth. Sure, the colours of my coat and eyes were wrong, I lacked a horn, and that stallion had too much self-respect to sport a rainbow mane, but the face otherwise reminded me a lot of him. Then again, he was probably the closest thing I had to a big brother or a best friend in old Equestria. I wonder if the guy was happy when the end came.

Cleaning my toothbrush, I swished a mouthful of water around. I spat the mixture of toothpaste and water into the sink as I returned the brush to the void, and then took one last big stretch. From my perspective, it'd been months since I'd last presented as a stallion, although chronologically, I suppose I technically can't remember how long it's been.

It's kinda funny; as a human, I'd been a dude, and a filly as a pony, and then I'd been turned into a changeling queen not long after. I'd never really felt masculine or feminine one hundred percent of the time before becoming a pony, although I'll be the first to admit that it was a lot easier to feel the latter with all the oestrogen in my system. As a shapeshifter, it was just one of those weird quirks that made it easy to slip into either role if the mood struck.

The one thing I didn't like about this form variation was the fact that a bit more mass was unpacked, so my hoof-steps were heavier. Spend most of your time as a mare, and you get used to a quiet, easily muffled clip clop. Turn into a heavier pony, and suddenly it sounds like you've got a man following behind you banging some coconuts, with a more distinct clop clomp. At least it was just a curved ramp leading back down to the main living area instead of stairs.

"Hey, uh, thanks again for letting me sleep off my hangover in your basement," I said, wincing slightly as I heard my voice. I'd been aiming for something a bit deeper to match this form, but I could never get it right. Instead it always turned out like a bad Elvis impression, complete with a slight southern twang. And why do I feel compelled to say, 'Man, I'm pretty?'

The four mares had been in a discussion before I came out of the bathroom, and I thought I might've heard Pipp saying something about a back-up singer or a duet. That said, when they heard me coming back down, it got eerily quiet. I could feel four sets of eyes on me as I reached the bottom of the stairs. I modified my form momentarily so that I could use my horn to levitate over my glasses. "Uh, ladies? You're kinda freakin' me out."

When I looked over at them, I saw that there were actually only three ponies and some sort of scrap automaton that I imagine Izzy made. Pipp, Zipp, and Izzy were all looking at me with their jaws hanging wide open. The scrap automaton, on the other hand, stared straight ahead, seemingly not noticing my presence. In fact, it was ramrod stiff and I was starting to think that maybe it was actually just an inanimate object. But why though?

That's when the talented unicorn craftsmare started to squeal, a twinkle in her eyes. "Anon! You didn't tell us you could be a colt!" she exclaimed, darting over to look me up and down. Suddenly grabbing me by one of my hooves, she began to giggle. "What's it like being able to reach the top shelf at the grocery store without magic!? Why didn't you show us this sooner? Why are you still a mare back there?"

~ 05 ~

Sitting on the top-deck of the Crystal Brighthouse, I looked out over the city. The sea breeze in my mane was nice, and although it was no Crystal Empire or Ponyville, it was finally starting to feel like home. It was funny to think about, but I spent so much time on the road in my old life that it was so hard for me to settle in one place when I became a pony. Living with Twi, Spike, Starlight, and Emerald was what gave me something to stick around for, and put my wanderlust to bed. Still, it was kinda shocking that I was settling in so quickly here.

Looking back over my shoulder to the phone mounted on a borrowed tripod with a smile, I said, "Hey everypony; it's been a hot minute, hasn't it?" I looked up at the sky and sighed. "It's your—hopefully—favourite changeling queen, Anonymous Flicker. Yes I'm still alive, and I wanted to start out by apologising for my behaviour the other day. I'm sure it was alarming or distressing for some, and I never meant to put you all through that.

"Like I was saying to some friends this morning, changelings are susceptible to mood disorders, in part due to our empathic abilities and feeding on emotions, but I had anxiety problems even before becoming a bug," I explained, taking off my glasses and returning to my natural changeling queen form for a moment. "We also risk neurological issues in cases of starvation, and with the pressure of bringing back a species from potentially being extinct, I gotta manage my own emotions better."

Returning to my stallion Anon transformation, I slipped my glasses back on and held up a sheet of paper. "I wanted to thank everypony that expressed concern during my absence, as well as address a few of the questions that came in." Rubbing my temple, I yawned. "I'm still not 100%, so I'm gonna answer just a few today."

With a glance at the paper once again, I began my Q and A. "Fire Whiskey's back asking, 'You said Fluttershy was your friend; does that mean you were friends with the other Guardians of Harmony?'" Shrugging, I looked away from the camera. "She was more of a family friend, in the sense that she and the other Guardians were Mom's confidants. They were basically my aunts, thats how tight knit a group they were. Good ponies. All of them kind in their own ways, but none more so than her." With a forlorn look, I leaned back against the railing and turned my head. "I'm gonna miss all of them, but writing about them on a blog might help provide a bit of closure."

After a moment's pause, I glanced down at my list again. "Celeste had a number of questions, but for the sake of fairness to everyone else, I'll address the most important ones today, and save the rest for a rainy day." Clearing my throat, I read aloud, "'What does changeling hunger feel like, and how does that differ from the hunger for affection linked to emotional insecurity and attachment disorders?' Honestly, the hunger is just like a pony's for the most part, but maybe a bit more intense. You gotta understand that the magical energy in love is essential not just for augmenting their own magical stores, but for maintaining a healthy bug brain... Physical and emotional hunger can progress quickly if not regularly attended to, and if the brain begins deteriorating... you get crazy bugs that wanna take over the world and make everyone their food-pets... if they're lucky.

"Podding a pony and transforming them, for example, would use up a lot of that pony's own physical energy and mass to complete the transition. That means they would likely step out in a starved state..." I smirked a bit. "Think of it like a zombie movie... The dead rise with only one purpose: to eat."

The next question I'd written down still made me flinch. Although it could probably have been considered insensitive, especially after my little breakdown last time, it was a good question. "Then we have Tinted Glass's question, 'Could there be other survivors from the Equestria you left behind?'" I read aloud. "I gotta be honest. I am not even sure how long I was sealed away. According to Princess Zipp, there are intact ruins in Zephyr Heights dating back to my era, but it could've been thousands of years... Since Twilight and her friends were little more than a legend, and there have been no hints as to Celestia, Luna, or Cadance being active, I'm not all that hopeful.

"Although dragons were long-lived, I couldn't say exactly how long. Even certain powerful, meddlesome spirits have been conspicuous by their absences." I looked at my hooves, and to my surprise, they were trembling a bit. I'd have been happy if it was out of sorrow, but I was angry. If Harmony or Hunger would answer my metaphorical calls, it might be possible to get some real answers to that very question. "As much as I still blame her for what she did, it's concerning that the Spirit of Hunger hasn't popped up once to torment me."

It took a lot longer to rein in the emotions tied to that than I'd have liked. I'd probably have to do another edit-job like I did with the last video. At least I won't be trashed while doing it this time. Once I was certain that I wasn't shaking, I took a breath and smiled at the camera. "Sorry about that. I got a bit worked up there. Ebon Dash asked a question about the pegasi of old and a link to electricity, citing some shocking issues." Laughing at one's own puns was bad, but I didn't care; it was sorta funny. "Back then, they could kick a thunderhead and make it produce lightning, but doing it themselves? That was more a spell sort of deal. All I can say is that magic has changed and may behave in unpredictable ways, so be careful. If push comes to shove, I think they make electrostatic straps in this era... although you might need a custom one if you're putting out that sort of voltage."

I stretched a bit before leaning forward with a grin. Tucking the paper away beneath my back hoof, I clapped my fore-hooves together. "Last question's another one to do with my favourite topic, runes!" There was a sound from downstairs, and it sounded like somepony might have been calling my name. "Lithium Pillow asked, 'So your runes operate by siphoning off your internal magical energy like a phone does its internal battery, making you like a big battery too, right? Could you use your rune magic to infuse some of your magic energy into some discs so you could have an emergency recharge on hoof in case you end up draining yourself dry by accident?'

"Funny enough, I have a story about that very topic," I said with a giggle that probably sounded insane. It didn't help that I lowered my hooves out of the frame as I reverted to my bug form, albeit intentionally leaving the last quarter of my right foreleg out. "See, when I was ten, just before my first molt as a changeling occurred, I was experimenting with that concept. I'd made spells in the past that could hold a charge to either delay casting, or simply have a prolonged effect, like a magic lock, but I'd never attempted to pull energy out of one before."

Holding up my right foreleg to show a stump, I gave a 'What can you do?' look to my phone's camera lens. "Calculations were perfect, and in theory, it should have worked..." I transformed my hoof back to show the difference. "It, uh, technically released all the energy, but the spell misfired and I had to explain to Starlight and the maids why I needed morphine and about four kilos of food before Mom, Spike, and Emerald got back."

While I spoke, I subtly put my pocket-dimension spell onto my other leg. "Turns out, I was REALLY overthinking everything, and I blew a hoof off for nothing." My free hoof shot into the space beside me, vanishing up to the elbow into the void where most of my belongings were. When it came out, I was holding a thirty centimetre long hexagonal chunk of pure sapphire. It positively thrummed with energy. "You can just as easily pump energy into some quality gemstones just as one might with an engraved spell. Just... don't do it too quickly or the crystal might break.

"Gemstones, at least in my time, were naturally occurring containers for magic that held magical charges, but did not resist any attempt to draw on them," I explained emphatically. "Princess Celestia's crown and peytral both had such magic batteries, although they also powered some wicked defensive enchantments. This took me a year of careful charging to fill this baby up with enough magic to power a spell I was banned from ever recreating—several times over, no less."

Returning the mana battery to the void, I stood up and started to approach the camera. "A small gemstone is enough for most ponies to get an emergency recharge out of. My sapphire, on the other hoof is more of a 'Break in Case of Emergency' sort of tool... Not for hobbyists, to be sure."

The voices of Zipp and Pipp, accompanied by the sound of wingbeats, were drawing close. They were probably gonna ask me if I'd made a decision as to whether I would take them up on their offer. It was tempting, but if I was gonna do this, I decided it would probably be a good idea to construct my own space. I'd need time to draw up the spells and plans necessary, and maybe a couch to crash on in the meantime.

Giving one last glance over my shoulder at the city, I transformed back into my stallion Anon disguise. "This is your doomsday prepping queen, signing off," I concluded with a completely straight face. Nothing like a stallion calling himself your queen, am I right?

Author's Note

Fun fact. I actually wrote a song that they might sing to get Anon to come live with them.

It's basically a complete rewrite of "I Really Want to Stay at Your House" from Cyberpunk 2077/Edgerunners.

[Verse]
I couldn't believe when you came out of that capsule,
But now you're nothing but a creature out of time.
We hate to see you there pretending that you wouldn't change a thi-i-ing,
Because you have nowhere to stay.

[Pre-Chorus]
Why stay away,
And pretend that you don't fit in, or no-one wants to chance you,
And cause yourself pain?
You know you deserve some happiness now.
Nopony could lay the blame.
Come and stay.
You're down on your luck, and feelin' bad, but you don't deserve it.
Don't give yourself grief.
S,o will you compromise?

[Chorus]
So what choice will ya make, do you see what's at stake?
Don't turn away now, do you have something to lose?
A hoofhake with you, share your point of view.
We'll be friends with you, we won't let you go.
We really want you to stay at our house
At the Brighthouse it'll work out
But we know how much you're broken apart
Got hope for you, we're not leaving you
Don'cha wanna know, ah-

This was technically finished back in august before I went on my little vacation. As it stands right now, it's gone through enough edit passes that I feel comfortable putting it out.

Next time, Anon does magic, buys some furniture, and does a short home tour video! The time after that? Anon goes to Bridlewood!

Vlog 06: On Making Room(s) in Your Life
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Vlogs of an Ancient Insect

Vlog 06: On Making Room(s) in Your Life

You know, it's funny the situations your mouth can get you into. Took the girls up on their offer to stay with them at the Crystal Brighthouse. I even asked if they minded me transforming a little space beneath the house, assuring them that neither the foundation of the building nor their own personal spaces would be impinged upon. After explaining what I was going to do and assuring them that I could revert everything if they decided I should leave, they consented.

I put my plan into action after two nights of crashing on the couch. I made various calculations, consulting old notes, crafted a few spell-engraved slates and anchor stones—magically charged stones with a specific mixture of runes and moon-glyphs capable of being targeted at long distances—and finally answered questions as to exactly what I was doing. The first spell targeted the area directly beneath the living room; dirt and stone compacted and transformed into a hollow concrete cylinder half as wide as the main room in the Brighthouse, complete with ceiling joists.

When that was done, my next transmutation connected the room to the building's duct-work so that it had multiple points of airflow. While that spell was completing its process, I took one of the anchor stones, labelled Brighthouse-Living-Room-01, over to a free space in front of one of the walls. The directional mark had to be pointing away from the wall at a ninety degree angle, but it wasn't too important to perfect that just yet. Next, the spell plate targeting that stone and the other anchor stone I'd created, specifically labelled Brighthouse-Anon-Alpha, were placed them into my saddlebag I moved over to the centre of the room, where the second-to-last spell plate was situated.

Izzy, Pipp, Sunny, and Zipp all watched in a mix of anticipation and worry. This next bit was particularly fucky, and I'd only done this spell once before, and for very good reason. Oh it was perfectly safe; there were two separate safeguards built in and I'd run the numbers several times myself. Hell, the spell was even configured to do those same calculations on its own. I just hated the way it made me feel.

"Well, ladies," I said, placing my chitinous hoof against the spell plate. "Catch you on the other side."

Several things happened in quick succession. The front door swung open, revealing Hitch and his ~~baby fire hazard~~ dragon hatchling. The girls all looked from me to them. Hitch stared at me and started saying something. Sparky, bless his little infant brain, saw the weird bug pony that'd spent a few nights in his dad's jail cell and wanted to say hello by way of hug. At that same time, I'd just triggered the spell and begun sinking through the floor, so of course the baby dragon came along for the ride.

I shivered as I felt myself literally slipping through the spaces between all the molecules in the floor and the ceiling of my newly-created room. The moment I was through, I spread my elytra and buzzed my wings to slow my fall. The moment I touched down, I summoned up the array for the light spell on my leg, illuminating the otherwise dark space with a dim blue orb of light. Although the little dragon babbled like a little gremlin, he didn't seem at all perturbed by the experience.

Judging by the screams of "Sparky!" in Hitch's voice coming through the vents, he was probably freaking out because the secondary spell on the slate. A spell like that one was particularly dangerous in the hands of the stupid or greedy, so as soon as I'd dropped through the floor, the primed shatter spell broke the slate into tiny shards. Even if Hitch could've figured out how to activate runic spells, he could't really do anything about me slipping through the floor, nor Sparky coming along for the ride.

Rolling my eyes, I levitated the baby dragon onto my back, even as the items I'd just packed away flew free of my saddlebag. The ringing of my phone went ignored as I set out the anchor stone, pointing it to the centre of the room. Once that was done, I grabbed the other slate in my hoof, and stepped back a few paces.

"You wanna see something cool, kid?" I asked the little dude. Pulsing some mana through the slate with the Spatial Fold spell in my hoof, I watched as a rectangular tear in reality formed a few centimetres above the anchor stone. Immediately, light streamed in from the other side, bringing the room into light as I set the spell slate down on the floor. Even as I started walking through the tear, I laughed. "Pretty slick, right?"

The gateway shut behind me a few moments after I stepped clear of the fold in reality, and Hitch was already storming over. The girls were calling out to him, but I don't think he could hear them over his own angry muttering. With the fear and anger roiling off him, he was probably not listening at all. The strangest thing was that it seemed unfocused, as though he wasn't sure if it should be directed at me or himself.

Not wanting any trouble, I quickly levitated the happily babbling baby down onto the floor and took a step back. "Sorry about the scare," I said, raising a hoof in a placating gesture. I'd seen my share of scared parents—especially scared of me—and I knew people weren't always rational when it came to their kids, so I prepared to take a hit. "If I'd known you and the little fella were gonna come, I might've waited so that could've been avoided."

Maybe it was the fact that I had backed myself right up to the wall, or the way Sparky seemed to be getting a bit spooked in response to the way Hitch was looking at me, but all the fight drained out of the clearly worried dragon dad. Instead, he sank to the floor and pulled his adopted kid into a hug. I wasn't trying to listen in on his whispering, but pony ears—and by extension changeling ears—were good at accidentally eaves-dropping. He was asking himself, or maybe Sparky, why he'd run up to a relative stranger like that. After all, this was only like the third time the baby dragon had even seen me outside of the times I slept in the jail cell.

As I watched the scene unfold, I was a little surprised it took me this long to notice the little dragon's wings. Spike was older than I was when he got his wings, I recalled, moving over to the pair. "Want a bit of advice?" I asked, taking on the form of a slender teenage dragoness I remembered meeting at Twilight's school all those years ago. Although I wondered if Smolder—and Ember and Spike by extension—was even still around, I thought she'd probably appreciate me doing what I could to see the hatchling receive the best care he could. When I stopped just shy of them, I took a seat on the floor beside them, my legs folded beneath me.

Everyone stared at me, even Sparky. Hitch didn't even resist when I took his aquamarine bundle of fire and joy in my now orange-scaled arms, or sitting him on my lap, entertaining him with the magenta frill on my tail. Slowly, Hitch nodded. "I'm no dragon expert, but I knew a few back in the day," I explained as I watched Sparky try to grasp and nip my tail. "Most dragons were omnivores, but they also tended to be geovores. To keep him healthy, you might wanna get some fish in his diet, but you should also find out if he can eat gems and adjust accordingly. He'll probably be that small for a decade or so, but when he hits the molt, he'll start growing pretty quick."

With a cry of pain, my focus on my transformation gave out when the little tyke successfully chomped down on my tail. Even as I returned to my original shape, I passed Hitch back his kid. "Just don't spoil him, and watch out for hoarding behaviour," I concluded. "Too much too quick and he'll start getting greedy... and then the greed growth kicks in. If you think he's hard to manage now, just wait until he's a sixty-metre tall toddler."

At that, I moved around them and over to the girls. "I know you've gotta get to work, Sunny, but do the three of you have anything you needed to do today?" I asked with a smile. "I could use some help picking out some furniture for my room. I also need a place that'll sell me about twenty pillows in bulk and a large plastic sheet."

~ 06 ~

It wasn't until several hours later that we'd gotten the last of the furniture for my little lair. They were kinda surprised that I didn't want anything that couldn't be battery-operated, but acquiesced after I pointed out that I would have to run conduits before an electrician could run any cabling through. Besides, I had myself some ideas on alternate lighting that leaned in heavily to the mad mage tropes. More than a few, actually, and some of them required Izzy's help to combine magic and tech.

"No, no, pivot!" Pipp cried out as Zipp and I tried to manoeuvre a workbench through the portal I'd conjured outside the hardware store. Izzy was already on the way home with some supplies we got to make a pair of door frames and a single door, leaving just the three of us. So she was currently flitting about above me, while several ponies were gathered around staring in wonderment. "Turn it to your right!"

I gritted my sharp changeling teeth as I marehandled the piece of furniture from my end. Zipp was on the other side of the portal, and I blamed her for us getting wedged. "Just tell us clockwise or counterclockwise," I hissed. The thing was damned heavy, and I was starting to wish I'd never been turned into a changeling. The earth pony strength would've come in real handy right about now. "Please!"

After a moment's pause, she let out a quiet, drawn-out, "Ooh!" This was quickly followed by a much clearer set of instructions. "Anon, rotate counterclockwise. Zipp, clockwise." Following her instructions, we successfully got the workbench onto its side again, and from there, getting it the rest of the way through was child's play.

When the purple pony princess of pegasi and pop pursued me past the portal, she flicked on the flashlight setting on her phone. From there, she illuminated the chamber so that we could move the workbench past the huge pile of pillows atop the tarp, spread in the middle of the room, to the free spot on the wall. It took a lot of effort, but we even got it centred.

"Thanks for the help, girls," I panted, looking around. The room could probably use some wall decorations, but for the time being, it was looking pretty good so far. I had a writing desk complete with a swivel-chair, a sofa and coffee table, a bookcase with a locking glass cover for all my stored books and trinkets, a bedside table atop the same tarp as the pillows, and then the workbench we just hauled in. "Gimme a moment and I'll let you out into the house."

Once the portal snapped shut, I brought the pocket-dimension spell formula out on my foreleg and started removing things and sitting them in a circle around me. The first to come out were several picture frames and a huge coffee mug that proclaimed me #1 Changeling Daughter in old sun-glyphs. After that, out came a large wine cask magically enchanted to store and preserve love that I had to levitate over beside the sofa due to the sheer size of it. There were even several smaller magically active gemstones and some clay bottles that I levitated over to the workbench in a pile. Finally, a small library of books was stacked around me.

"Do I even want to know about the giant cask?" Pipp asked in a hesitant voice as she moved to stand by the sofa. "We've seen what alcohol does to you, so..."

I just rolled my eyes, snatched up the mug in my levitation magic, and carried it over to the cask. "Mom and Aunt Cadance didn't want me going off into the future without supplies," I explained as I held the mug under the tap. When the other two drew closer, I dispensed a glowing pink liquid. "Mom enchanted the cask to preserve the concentrated emotion inside, and Aunt Cadance and my cousin Flurry donated a whole bunch of love. Enough to last me two thousand days if I needed it."

Zipp raised an eyebrow as I levitated the full mug over to me so that I could take it between my hooves. "Five and a half years is a bit excessive, isn't it?" she asked as I sipped.

I nearly dropped the mug in shock. "Don't tell me..." I hissed, carefully setting it down on the coffee table instead. "We're on a twelve month calendar with three hundred sixty-five days, with an extra day in the second month every four years now?"

"Uhh, yeah!" was Pipp's almost sarcastic sounding reply. "What, did ponies not do that when you went to sleep?"

I didn't answer the question, but I think Zipp was already drawing the proper conclusion. Instead, I just sighed, grabbing my mug and draining it before hanging it from the tap. From there, I started levitating books and some of the photos over to the book case. "And of course Mom told me not to pack any bottled sorrow," I groused quietly. The only book I didn't levitate over to the bookcase was the copy of Your Horn and You: a Foal's Primer for Magic, which instead went to the writing desk. "Now I have to figure out my birthday again without the benefit of getting drunk."

Already my head was starting to hurt, because I was quickly reailising that from a chronological standpoint, I was probably as old as their mother. Sure, age isn't equal to maturity and all that, but I'm pretty sure I just got promoted to Team Mom. Guess I better start printing t-shirts showing me riding a surfboard with the words Bad Filly Coven, and start selling them.

The sporty, brainy pegasus quickly got distracted when she glanced at a framed picture that levitated past her. She quickly waved her sister over with the light so that she could get a look at it. When I drew closer, I saw that it was one from one of our trips to the Crystal Empire... I was accompanied by Emerald, Starlight, her at-the-time fiance, Sunburst, twin unicorn maids, and in the background was a grizzled looking unicorn who looked uncomfortable wearing little more than a black suit-jacket and dark shades.

"Aww, you had maids growing up, too?" was Pipp's comment upon seeing Refined Skill and Natural Talent.

I kinda was expecting one of them to comment that me and Emerald were the only non-unicorns in the picture. It was quite the horny party. "Refined Skill, the one with the blue mane, and Natural Talent, the one with the pink," I explained. "Originally, they worked for Princess Celestia. Talent taught me a lot of how to pony when I first came to Equestria... When I got my own body, they ended up being transferred to Twilight's service, since now she had two foals in the castle. I was sad when they retired."

Zipp, on the other hoof, was looking at the dark unicorn in a suit jacket and dark shades. Her mane style and Zipp's weren't all that dissimilar, now that I thought about it. "Who's she?" the detective couldn't help but ask. "She looks like a total hardflank, but she wasn't part of that presentation you did at the museum."

I picked up the frame and gazed at the pony in question. "Believe it or not, she used to be the commander of an invading force that nearly conquered Equestria," I said with a sigh. I didn't like remembering the day that I first met her, because it was almost my last day on this world. "Tempest Shadow... In the end, she did the right thing and helped Twilight and the others. Nearly got me killed though."

When I set the photo back on the shelf, I started for the door. "Funny how friendship can bloom on the battlefield... how a former enemy can become a bodyguard and teacher." Opening the portal into the living room above, I cast one last glance at the pair of them. "C'mon. I'm cooking tonight, and I also wanna see if I can get copper wire to transmit magic."

The pair both looked alarmed. Evidently, none of them realised I knew how to cook. Or maybe they were worried that Sunny was gonna lose her shit at me 'stealing her job'? Nah, I'd already cleared it with Sunny. Joke's on them; I learned how to cook from one of the best dragon chefs in Equestria.

~ 06 ~

Two days later, I was seated at my writing desk looking down at the partial manuscript for Your Magic and You: A Modern Foal's Primer for Magic. In addition to translating the foreword left by the original author, a mare named Light Spinner, I'd added my own addendum explaining that, although this book was primarily intended for unicorn foals, there were several exercises within that all ponies could use, regardless of tribe or age. Other than that, I'd gotten through the first three chapters without having to add or remove much. Mostly it was just cultural references that needed updating.

It was definitely time to take a break, though. Looking at the clock hanging above the desk, it looked to be either half-past three in the afternoon... or three in the morning. I reached over to the battery bank into which my phone was plugged and woke the device to find that—thankfully—it was afternoon and not morning. That meant I wouldn't be causing problems by starting my video blog.

Yawning, I reached over and lifted a magically charged chunk of rose quartz off of a copper plate to my right, and the illusory flame that had been lighting my workspace went out. I'd managed to rig up some tablets that could be powered by a crystal with some gem-dust infused copper wiring and plates, but at present it was only a simple system that required me to remove the gemstone when I wanted to snuff the light. When Izzy started talking about logic gates for actual switches, I checked out mentally. She was willing to figure out the hard stuff, but we'd used up most of my gemstones in the process just creating three such lights and a way to interface a hoof scanner with the tablet operating the door in the living room.

I picked up my phone and started to leave the room. Slapping the tablet beside the door with some magic, I stepped through into the main living area of the Brighthouse. Nopony was currently around, so I figured this would be a good opportunity. Obviously, I wouldn't capture a whole lot of the living space out of respect for the others, but I only needed to capture the door.

Once the portal closed, I turned on my phone, set it to record, and levitated it so that it could capture me standing in front of the door frame Izzy built around the portal base. Facing the camera, I smiled. "It's been a while, hasn't it, everypony?" I said in my usual two-toned bug-queen voice. "It's your—hopefully—favourite changeling queen, Anonymous Flicker, and we're going to do something a bit different today." I gestured behind me with my hoof and smirked. "You're probably looking at the door that opens to an empty wall and thinking, 'What's the deal with that?' right?"

I turned around and walked over to a sensor pad similar to the one controlling the elevator up to the top of the Brighthouse. When my hoof was placed against it, it let out a beep and turned green. The space inside the frame warped and revealed the dark chamber that was my new room. "As many of you know, I was, until recently, staying at the Pony Delight motel," I explained, dragging the floating camera behind me as I stepped through the folded space. "Since then, I've been busy getting a place to live set up, getting furnished, and working on several different projects."

With a separate instance of levitation, I grabbed a crystal sitting on the bedside table near my little nest, and set it on top of the nearby copper plate. Immediately, a large globe of illusory flame lit up the ceiling, bathing the concrete room in a soft yellow light. "Sunny, Pipp, Izzy and Zipp were kind enough to invite me to stay with them... but I didn't want to intrude into their own spaces too much..." I panned the camera around the room. "So I created my own little space underneath the Brighthouse—and don't worry. The inspectors that Sheriff Hitch brought in cleared everything."

Snapping the camera back to me, I walked over to the part of the room with the sofa and the cask. "This is where I chill when I'm feeling too lazy to do anything, and drink my morning cup of love." Turning to face the camera, I chuckled. "I might get a TV once I can get an electrician to wire the place, but for now, it's just a quaint little reading den."

Next, I walked over to the writing desk. I made sure to zoom in on the inkwell and stylus, the manuscript, and the open copy of Your Horn and You. "This is my writing nook. I mentioned in a previous video that I was going to start translating a magic primer to the modern writing system." Again, I snapped the camera back to me. "Gimme a couple of more weeks to finish it and get it out to a publisher."

Again I started moving, this time over to the workbench. I let the camera pan across the mess before focusing in on the smaller scale lamp spell. "This is where I've decided to make the magic happen, so to speak," I announced as I manually placed a crystal atop the required plate. A bright white false flame appeared above the crystal, illuminating the entire workstation so that viewers could see a slate I hadn't yet etched a spell into, a box of fine etching tools, a dish that looked to contain glitter—it was actually flakes of my last ruby—and a bunch of copper scraps. To one side, I even had a small smelting furnace that I'd been using to infuse the copper.

"I've been toying with some combination of tech and magic. Mostly just spell-lamps for the moment." I panned around the room again. "I need to get more gemstones, so I'm probably gonna be taking a trip to Bridlewood soon. Then I can get all the lights on a pair of switches, and start work on some other contraptions."

Finally, I pointed the camera at the hemisphere of black hive resin suspended by strands of black in the centre of the room. There was a huge pile of pillows almost overflowing from the suspended bowl. "That, fillies, colts, and nonbinary friends, is my crowning achievement..."I transformed into my tiny bug queen form, and dove through the air, landing in the big bowl of pillows. When I finally surfaced, I looked up at the camera with a toothy smile. "I haven't had a nest like this since I left home. Ever since I built this baby, I've been sleeping like a filly."

Just as I was about to sign off, the door portal opened. Pipp poked her head though and called out, "Hey, Anon! Sunny's making tacos! Do you—" She spotted tiny me poking out from the pile of pillows, smiling up at the floating phone. "Eeeeeee! That's so precious!"

"This is the tiny ancient queen who is about to get foalnapped for dinner," I called out as I levitated it in for a close-up. "Signing off!"

Author's Note

Next few entries will be story related, rather than mostly blog; we're running into the end of Make Your Mark Chapter 2, so any 'vlogs' she records aren't going to be the focal points. It's quickly becoming apparent that Anon is basically a walking plot derailment, so don't be surprised if things start to play out differently. Especially when Anonymous starts figuring things out... Then just become a matter of whether she genuinely thinks Opaline to be a threat, or if she'll decide the wily old alicorn is less threatening than the villains of her era, and just watch over the girls and step in in an emergency.

Additionally, expect to see some more Tell Your Tale references, like Sneaksy or Misty's locket. I like the idea of her having that instead of nabbing the mirror Opaline was using to spy on Sunny to make contact.

Are there any events you foresee Anon counting herself out of? I would like to imagine she'd be all over Nightmare Night and that Harvest and Hugs Day, but she might say "NOPE," to the Winter Wishday/Wishiehoof/Wishentine nonsense, especially after Zipp and Izzy roll out the Marestream. "I know it's a portmanteau of mare and jetstream, but it sounds like a niche pornographic magazine. Also, it's way to cold outside. I'll be... about."

Day Trip 01: Have Wings, Will Travel
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Vlogs of an Ancient Insect

Day Trip 01: Have Wings, Will Travel

The worst part about coming out of a time capsule in the far-flung future is that you could be fucking anywhere. For example, Mom was operating out of Canterlot Castle when she convinced me to aid in this plan of hers... whatever it was. Someway, somehow, that capsule ended up in a settlement in a coastal area. So at some point over the years, my capsule got moved around.

At first, looking at what few maps are surprisingly available, and comparing them to one I brought from the past, I was convinced something had levelled Manehattan and Maretime Bay was somehow built on the ruins. The only problem was that north didn't line up, properly, and where Bridlewood was, Our Town should've been. Similar reasons ruled out Fillydelphia, because their mountain range was more west than north-east. Baltimare was right out.

Best I could guess was that 'Modern' Equestria was located somewhere that the cartographers from my era called the Undiscovered West. There hadn't been any settlement expeditions planned at the time, but I think there might have been scouting expeditions running before I went to sleep. That actually made me worry what I'd see if I just started flying east... None of my old anchor stones even exist anymore...

Why was I even thinking about maps, you might ask? Well, I was currently airborne, flying about due north of Maretime Bay. It'd been two days since I posted my newest video blog, and I desperately needed more crystals. I needed a lot more gem dust to infuse into copper so I could properly wire the magic lights in my room. Also because I wanted to start putting together some gifts for the girls.

It was more than that, though... I'd found a few notes for some interesting spells in the back of one of my notebooks. These weren't my notes, but rather my Mom's. They were runic notes for the prototype of an anti-scrying field, and a scrying spell intended to test it. It might've just been her being paranoid, or a hint that our mysterious antagonist could be watching. If that was really the case, I'd probably want to protect everyone.

It was a beautiful view, I found while gliding just below the cloud ceiling. I could see for kilometres in every direction. Zephyr Heights to the east was gleaming like a metropolis atop its mountain throne. Stretching out ahead as far as my eye could see was the massive canopy of the forest of Bridlewood, putting even the Everfree to shame. A glance over my shoulder and I could see Maretime Bay slowly falling away. It almost looked like there might have been something far off to the west, but it might've just been a trick of the light. Nopony had ever mentioned anything out that way.

My phone, safely clipped away in its holder on my harness, began to ring. I couldn't exatly take it out at this height and check, but only five ponies actually had my number, so I wasn't too concerned about wrong numbers, and telemarketers didn't seem to be a thing here. Grabbing my headphones from around my neck, I held them up to my ears and tapped the play button on them. "Thank you for calling Bug Queen Airlines," I answered as I slowed to a hover. "This is Anon Speaking; how may I direct your call?"

"Anon! It's Zipp," she answered. There was a bit of concern present in her voice, but without being able to read her emotional aura, I could only estimate the level. "Um... have you ever heard of ponies swapping cutie marks? We kinda have a situation here..."

"I recall Mom telling me about the time she ascended to alicornhood," I explained, returning to a slow forward glide. "She tested an incomplete spell made by an ancient wizard, and the next morning, her five friends all had their marks swapped. It was apparently utter chaos." After a moment's pause, I asked, "Who all is affected, and how'd it happen?"

There was a frustrated groan. "Sunny and Hitch got into a spat over whose job was easier, and then Sparkie happened," she said. "Now it's like their entire personalities have switched."

With a low whistle, I said, "It's not too late to come with me. Their marks and personalities might've switched, but no way things are gonna turn out good." As a rout of pegasnails—I hate whatever process created these little cretins—veered into my path, I had a second thought. "Scratch that. They need a responsible adult around... and no offence to your sister, but Pipp and Izzy don't have that same air of responsibility that you do."

When the lead snail in the V formation gave me an obscene gesture with one of its wings, I snorted. "Evidently, despite being around sixty three years old on the revised calendar, I am not a responsible adult," I called out, making my voice loud enough that the critters up ahead of me could no doubt hear, "because I am about to turn a bunch of winged pests into escargot if they don't stay in their own lane and remember their place on the food-chain!" Lowering my voice, I quickly added, "I wouldn't actually eat anything that Hitch can have a conversation with... They don't know that though."

Even as the formation broke apart and the little buggers all descended to a lower height to get out of my way, Zipp let out a drawn out, "Riiight." I think I could actually hear Sunny shouting something. "Sounds like we both have our hooves full. Should I tell Sunny to save a place for you at the table, or...?"

I actually wasn't sure when I would be getting back; it honestly all depended on how long it took to find some decent crystals. If I'd at all been thinking when I decided to take off this morning, I'd have probably prepped an anchor stone... But it was one thing to have anchor stones in a home and set in places a portal couldn't bisect someone, and leaving them in some random place. "Better not wait up, just to be safe," I responded. "Also, if any of you guys want any tea picked up, text me; I plan on visiting that Crystal Tea Room place."

With that, I ended the call and pitched myself downward in order to pick up a bit of speed. Pegasus wings were much better suited to gliding and speed than my insect wings were, and typical aerodynamic rules applied. It made for easier, if lazier flight, and that was the primary reason that I was travelling in a pegasus variant of my pony form. A good secondary reason was that I had no doubt I was gonna turn some heads walking around Bridlewood in my full, buggy glory. I was, after all, typically taller and somewhat more intimidating.

I mean, I wasn't planning on being a pegasus the whole time; after I landed my plan was to switch over to a unicorn variant disguise, and leave off the cutie mark on my left flank. Blending in, getting in, and getting out were my primary concerns. Starting a panic—especially over anything the unicorns considered jinxie—was not on the agenda. No mischief and/or shenanigans intended.

~ Bridlewood, Crystal Tea Room ~

"Gotta say, I'm really liking this place," I whispered to myself. I wasn't exactly sure what I'd expected when I touched down on the road outside the forest... Maybe a community built up in the trees, just below the canopy? I might've even expected thatch houses like the ones back in Ponyville when I was a filly nestled between the trees. Homes built under and into the root-systems of these massive trees, however? It was like something out of a fantasy novel I'd read in my previous, human life.

Despite me looking around like a slack-jawed tourist, especially at all the crystals just growing everywhere, there wasn't even much in terms of weird looks thrown my way. Several were downright friendly... There was even this nice old lady, Elder Flower, who claimed her great, great, great, great aunt knew me. Not sure I ever actually met Moondancer, but this just just adds so many more questions about how much time's passed. The way Izzy described it made it seem like every unicorn here was some sort of weirdo who was adjusting to normal life after living in a cult. Everyone here just seemed so... so normal, elvish living conditions notwithstanding.

Eventually, the road brought me to my first destination: the Crystal Tea Room. Apparently during the quest to unite the Unity Crystals, the girls and Hitch actually stopped here and entered a competition with the shop owner, Alphabittle, for the Unicorn Unity Crystal. Dude was apparently big on games and competition.

The place was pretty beautiful from the outside. It seemed to be nestled under three different root systems, with stained glass in the windows and the door. Above the door, to the right, was a pretty sign designed after a teapot, topped with what looked like that same crystal they'd come for, no less. The crystals growing out of the ground outside also contributed nicely to the look.

It was really cosy when I opened the door and stepped in, I was assailed by the glorious smell of tea. I thought I could smell Canterlot Breakfast, Earl Grey, and even a Darjeeling if I wasn't mistaken. It was a cosy atmosphere, too, despite the polished brick flooring. There were several unicorns at different tables dotted about the place, but there seemed to be a pretty big grouping around a stage where some ponies seemed to be having some sort of poetry recital. I swear, the grey colt with the grassy-green mane reminded me of a certain stoner pony I knew.

The pony at the service counter was real interesting though. He was built like my adoptive uncle with a slate grey coat, and bushy white beard, eyebrows, and mane. He also had a swagger about him. A very proud stallion, this fella, I decided as I approached the counter. That said, I can feel a hurt about him that he doesn't want others to know about. I had to admit, he was pretty handsome for an older guy, and if Queen Haven wasn't clearly interested in the guy, I might've considered him as a potential donor to start my hive.

"Good afternoon, Alphabittle," I said in the exact same voice he'd heard me using back when I did that presentation at the Maretime Bay museum. I looked at all the board games and various knickknacks on the shelves behind the counter as I took a seat. "This place is every bit as nice as Izzy and the girls made it out to be."

He seemed momentarily confused, as it was probably his first time seeing my unicorn form. "Ah, I remember now," he said with a smile. "You're that bug from the museum that gave a lecture on the past. The one who's got that video blog, right? Anonymous? I never watch those sorts of things, but a lot of ponies have been talking about it."

I nodded, brushing my own black locks out from in front of my glasses with a hoof. "Yep, that's me," I answered, taking my phone and stylus from its spot on my harness and setting it down on the counter. As I spoke with him, I started pulling up a recipe I'd written down: masala chai. "The girls all say that your tea's the best, and I was curious if you had anything like this."

When I turned the phone around and pushed it over to him, he glanced down at it and started stroking his beard. "Can't say I've ever seen anything like this before, but it looks delicious," he commented, immediately turning to face a spice rack as he started collecting the ingredients listed. As he did so, I noticed an armadillo on the counter, pushing two tea cups out to be used. "Gimme a few minutes to put this together."

"Sure thing," I said, continuing to look around. They weren't lying when they said the old-timer really liked games. It looked like he even had one of those hoofheld game consoles I'd seen ads for online. There was even a painting that seemed like something I'd seen a picture of back on Earth—Edvard Munch's the Scream if I was remembering correctly.

What caught my attention, however, was a framed photo. It was a little blue unicorn filly, her curly dark-blue mane pulled back into two poofy buns, looking to the camera with the most darling happy green eyes as she snuggled a plush almiraj—a horned bunny. Not only was she so precious that she made my cousin Flurry seem average, but she looked super familiar. I could swear I've met this filly somewhere before.

He caught me staring at it as he turned around with a pot of steaming tea. "Is this your daughter?" I asked, even as his emotional aura began to fill with a sad blue and the yellow of anxiety. It took him a moment to recover as he poured out two cups of the chai. Once he set down the teapot, he walked over to the shelf the picture was seated upon, and grabbed it. "She's adorable, if you don't mind my saying."

Alphabittle looked longingly down at the photograph. "She... went missing many moons ago," he said, setting down the photo beside him. He fidgeted with his hooves as he glanced down at his reflection in the surface of the creamy brown liquid. "I rarely ever leave Bridlewood, in case she comes home. I have to be here."

That just made it all the more impressive that they'd gotten him to come out to the event in Maretime Bay that time, then. "I'm sorry to hear that," I whispered, turning an apologetic look from the picture to him. I am pretty sure I met his pony before, but... if I'm wrong, I don't wanna get his hopes up. "I plan on getting out of town more often, so I could keep an eye out for her if you like."

"You would?" He seemed surprised by the offer, but I could feel the gratitude in his tone. "That's sweet of you, kid."

With the uptick in mood and the tea sufficiently cooled, I levitated it to my mouth and sipped it. A soft moan escaped my throat. It's as perfect as I remember. "Don't you 'kid' me, young stallion," I replied with a smirk, leaning my chin on one hoof while the other traced the rim of the cup. "You don't look a day over forty, whereas by pony standards, I'm effectively a senior."

When he started to blush at the compliment, my smirk became a knowing smile. "I'm betting Queen Haven feels the same way about you looking youthful," I added, sipping at my masala chai once more. Oh yeah, he's smitten to be sure, was my first thought the moment the affection flooded his aura at the mention of the mare's name. "You two make a cute couple, but don't worry. I'm not gonna blab to her daughters that you two are an item. Not my place to get in the way of young love."

Alphabittle nodded, sipping his own tea, and his eyebrow perked at the flavour. "Mmm, this is good," he exclaimed. "You mind if I add this to my regular menu?" I just grinned and set some bits down on the counter. "So what brings you out to Bridlewood, anyway?"

With a shrug, I drained the cup and turned to look out at his café. "I'm looking to get my hooves on some quality crystals," I answered, pulling a sheet of paper out of a pouch on my harness. I set it on the counter beside me and pushed it back toward him. "I understand there's all sorts of magically active crystals here just growing freely in the forest. If in the main settlement isn't a good place to start collecting, could you point to a spot out in the forest where nopony's gonna miss a bunch?"

Peeking back over my shoulder, I saw him peering over the list. "Most of the varieties on this list are rare, or just straight up not native to the forest," he noted with a frown on his face. "Rubies aren't too common, and sapphires aren't in season, but there's a grove not too far from here where rose quartz grows year-round. Gimme a few minutes and I can draw you a map."

He turned and went somewhere out of sight, probably to consult a map himself. In the meantime, my gaze flicked back over to the picture of his missing daughter. She looks just like that young mare I had on my show that time, but she doesn't really carry herself like somepony who has been living alone in the woods since childhood. Definitely not from a good home, but... Against my better judgement, I snapped a close-up picture of the photograph with my phone. I need to be sure...

When he returned with a piece of paper with a hoof-drawn map, "Here you go," he said, holding out the map. "Just remember not to take too much or take any crystal veins down to the root. The forest doesn't like that."

I switched my phone to my text messages, where I had orders for teas for Izzy, Pipp, and Sunny. "Thanks, Alphabittle; I'll keep that in mind," I said accepting the map. "The girls also wanted me to pick up these blends for them. If you don't have any teabags or canisters ready, I can stop back in later."

~ Crystal Brighthouse ~

Several hours later, I stepped through the fold in space I'd temporarily conjured up in the Crystal Tea Room, exiting out into my quarters. I had to step carefully around the dozen headstone-sized chunks of quartz now sitting in my room. I'd need to take the time to break them down into more useful sizes and start charging them, but I was quite looking forward to getting back to work. For now, though, I need to—

The sound of movement when I reverted to my changeling form interrupted my thought. Immediately I levitated the charged crystal from the bedside table onto the infused copper plate used to activate the room's false sun. There, sitting on one of the large quartz chunks was a horned rabbit, staring at me with sad, beady little eyes. I looked up to the ducts, and frowned. There was some fur at the edge.

With a groan, I seized the little bugger with my magic and walked back over to the empty door frame. Activating the panel, a door appeared in the frame, and I reached out and opened it into the living area of the Brighthouse. Everypony, Hitch included, was gathered looking at a bunch of stuff that was never there before. Pet stuff.

"What's all this?" Hitch was saying, looking at everything while a bunch of small critters played about.

"It's your 'Critter Corner'! Now the animals have a place to chill if the garden gets to be magically way too much," exclaimed Izzy.

Zipp was quick to add on, "... Or if they want a solid lead on hanging with their best buddy Hitch."

"Awes—"

Finally, everyone noticed me standing at the gateway to my little domain, a jackalope—or an almiraj or whatever they called these bunny unicorn critters—hanging mid-air in a blue magical field beside me. "You might want to pet-proof the duct-work up here," I commented, floating the little goblin over to the modern-day Flutterguy. "This little morsel fell into my room, and if I'd chosen to fly back from Bridlewood, it could've been down there, possibly hurt, for a while."

Even as he took the critter in his hooves to check it over, Hitch shot me a look. "Could you not talk about him like he's food?" he asked, slowly stroking the critter. The bunnicorn squeaked something out, and then Hitch translated. "Stanley's sorry about intruding into your space, and he's thankful for your timely arrival."

I wanted to say something in response to his request to not talk about the animals like they're food—even though they totally are, just not for ponies—but the words died in my throat. Instead, it simply looked like I opened my mouth to point out the sharps inside my mouth. "Yeah, well, can you ask your little friends not to play in the ducts? Burnt fur smells awful and I don't want someone ending up in the furnace," I finally said, reaching into my pocket dimension and pulling out the bag with the canisters of tea leaves. I quickly levitated it over to Sunny, and then strode toward the main door. "Got your teas here, girls. I'm going to go take a nap up on balcony and soak up some sun. Come get me if you need anything."

Vlog 07: On Sleepovers - Part 1
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Vlogs of an Ancient Insect

Vlog 07: On Sleepovers - Part 1

Some days, you just wanna sleep in, you know? It's entirely your fault if you stay up late finishing your manuscript and charging up some gemstones or some similar shit, but nonetheless your body needs the sleep. That's how today found me: lying in my hanging basket of pillows in my more compact bug filly form. I was totally wiped out and sleeping off the consequences of my foolishness. Was.

Without warning, the portal to the upper floor opened, bathing my lair with midday light. "Anon! Anon! Wake up!" exclaimed an excitable mulberry unicorn, reaching into the nest of pillows to drag me out. "I need your help!"

If not for the fact that I was too tired to give a fuck, I'd have turned into a boulder right there in her hooves. Instead, I freed myself from her grasp, flying into the air, and then reverting to my normal size. When I dropped to the floor in front of her as the spatial fold closed behind her, she didn't even flinch. She just smiled at me with uncontrolled glee when I turned on the light. It's so hard to be mad at you.

"What's the dizzle, home-sizzle?" I asked, reaching out and booping her on the nose. "I haven't seen you this excited since I gave you that special brownie recipe I got from Pinkie Pie."

Before I could pull my hoof back, she seized it with her magic and started dragging me back toward the portal door. "I'm throwing a traditional unicorn sleepover, and you're invited!" she exclaimed, not even looking as she opened the portal back upstairs. "Since you can become a unicorn, and you're friends with my new friend who's also a unicorn, and you're friends with all the honourary unicorns, of course you're invited too!"

That caught my attention. I didn't know there were many unicorns her age here in town. There was at least one foal—Peach Fizz, one of Pipp's fan-fillies—so there definitely had to be parents around too, but the rest I'd encountered seemed to be more touristy than local. "A new friend that I know?" I asked. The only unicorn friends I can think of, at least off the top of my head are you and Alphabittle, girl.

She nodded, guiding me over to the door. "Yeah! Misty! She was on your show that one time!" she explained. "Remember? Sunny said she was asking about you when you were sleeping off the booze that time, too." She opened the door and slowly pushed me out. "Anyways, I need you to go and buy us some time to finish getting everything set up. I promise to pay you back by feeding you later!"

"I—" The door closed in my face before I could voice anything. Not only had she just shanghaied me into attending a sleep-over, but she was offering up fresh love, too. On the one hoof, I was a bit peeved at not getting a choice, but on the other, I was curious about the traditional unicorn sleepover's traditions. Plus, it'd be a good opportunity to probe Misty about where she was from. It'd be nice if she was that nice stallion's missing filly.

With nothing else to do, I retrieved my glasses from my pocket dimension and assumed my bespectacled unicorn mare disguise. If they needed to buy time, I'd wait for her down at the bottom of the path leading up to the Brighthouse. It was a bit disappointing that she didn't even let me grab my phone, because I could have recorded a video while I waited. Instead as I walked down the path, I found nothing better to do than toss stones out at the ocean.

Maybe I can just share the tale of this sleepover with my viewers.

I also had to take care when tossing stones out over the water. Hitch was friends with most of the critters in town, including the bloody seagulls. The little winged rat with the tuna can on his head—Kenneth, I think he called the little blighter—was lurking around, watching me. It was clear he was looking for a reason to fink on me, and I had to imagine he might've spoken to the pegasnails I'd threatened the other day. If I so much as hurt a feather on a bird while I waited, Sheriff Killjoy would be riding my ass into the sunset.

The young mare's emotional spectrum alerted me to her presence, long before she ever spoke up. It was a mix of anxiety, excitement, and... guilt? Still, rather than do the freaky thing and turn to face her before she announced herself. "Hey, uh, Anon, right?" she said, clutching a patchy-looking pillow to her chest. "It's been a while."

That thing's seen better days, I thought when I finally faced her. Not exactly what you'd expect for somepony apparently part of a popular social media clique.

"Sure has, Misty." I smiled at her and then angled my head toward the community garden. When she got the picture, I started walking over to the garden's stone wall, reclining against it. "Izzy and them are all getting things set up, so how about we go over here and chat a bit."

Although she also took a seat beside me, she didn't mimic my seating posture. Her anxiety was really starting to skyrocket. "What, um, did you want to talk about?" she asked, starting to fidget.

I could practically see her beginning to sweat. "Relax, girl," I said in a soft voice, waving a hoof and gesturing at the sky. "You're wound up so tight somepony could play you like a viola. This your first sleepover or something?"

"W-what? No, of course not!" she denied way too quickly. When I just cocked an eyebrow at her, the young unicorn sighed and buried her muzzle in the pillow she was clutching to her chest. "Y-yeah. Is it that obvious?"

With a shrug, I plucked a dandelion out of the grass and levitated it close to my face, giving it a quick sniff before popping it into my mouth. She looked surprised that I'd just eat a wildflower without washing it or any sort of seasoning, but to be fair, I hadn't even gotten a chance to have my first cup of love in the morning. Could anypony fault me for needing a snack?

"To me, sure," I explained, looking back to the younger mare. "If I had to guess, you've never been to one of these kinds of shindigs before, and you're probably scared you won't fit in. How'm I doing so far?" She nodded, but her anxiety was starting to drain away, replaced with mounting embarrassment. "You have no more idea what a traditional unicorn sleepover entails than I do, huh?"

"I..."

I shrugged. "Look, Princess Detective Zipp Storm gets all investigative over one thing or another. Everything's a puzzle to her, and she can get intense, so if you start acting all squirrely, she might start getting in your face," I explained. "I'm not saying tell them everything about you, but be honest with what you can be." I levitated my glasses onto my horn and then shut my eyes. "For example, if she were to ask you where you're from, or maybe where you grew up, what would you say?"

"Bridlewood!" she exclaimed a bit too quickly. Everything in her emotional aura screamed that she didn't even believe herself. She almost seemed ashamed, or confused. "Where else would a unicorn grow up?"

I cracked an eye open and gave her a sidelong look. "That's exactly what I mean," I put my forelegs behind my head and slowly slid down until I was staring up at the sky. "You don't believe that yourself. If you're too ashamed of wherever you grew up, even if it's just some mud hut out in the sticks, just say you didn't grow up in the Bridlewood settlement, nor were you around a lot of ponies. They'll be more patient about that whole social anxiety you've got going, and if they find out about your cutie mark, it won't be the end of the world."

There was a startled squeak and massive fear spike. "You knew?" she squeaked. Her breathing became fast and shallow, and before I knew it, the poor thing was hyperventilating.

Smooth, Anon.

I rolled to my hooves, and quickly made to fix my mess. In a flash of magic, I sprouted a pair of big fluffy pegasus wings and grew to my changeling queen size. Before the poor kid knew what was happening, I grabbed her by the withers and pulled her into my chest floof and wrapped my wings around her in a pegasus hug. "Hey, hey, shhh... Slow, deep breaths."

It took the filly several minutes to calm down. Her anxiety slowly abated as time went on, but there was a moment of some sort of internal conflict... Fear, confusion, and self-doubt played out in her emotional spectrum, but eventually there was a feeling of delicious gratitude.

"I've never been hugged like that before," she whispered as she struggled free of my grip. Her voice was wistful when she next spoke. "I didn't know wings could be so warm... But preening her is so hard..."

I don't think I was supposed to hear that bit... The more time I spent around this pony, the more questions I had about her home life. She wasn't used to ponies apologising to her, she was socially awkward, and she sounded like she had experience with somepony's wings, despite the tribes only reuniting in the last few months.

She must've been raised by a pegasus who didn't much care for treating her like a foal so much as a servant.

"If you play your cards right, you might be able to get a wing hug from Princess Pipp," I remarked, shrinking back down to my unicorn disguise's regular size, although I kept the wings out. With a gentle elbow nudge, I glanced up to the Brighthouse. "Have you seen how fluffy her primaries are?"

I could just make out Izzy in one of the windows, waving at me. "Looks like they're all ready in there." I started walking up the path to the Brighthouse. A glance over my shoulder showed that she was hesitant, just standing there, blushing. "You good, Misty?"

She didn't seem any more confident than she had been, but she didn't seem as anxious now. With a shake of her head, Misty did her three-legged trot behind me, continuing to clutch her pillow. It was curious that she wasn't just carrying that with her magic, but I had to remind myself that the ponies of this era were still getting used to their magic. She might not even know how to draw from her reservoir and create a basic twinkle.

When we got to the front door, I booped the doorbell and then silently counted down. Three, two, one. The door burst open to reveal Izzy, Pipp, Sunny and Zipp. Time for some fun. "Welcome to the Brighthouse, Misty," Izzy exclaimed, which I mimicked perfectly in sync with her. This earned a giggle from everypony there. "Misty, uh..." Izzy leaned in close and whispered. "What's your last name?"

Poor kid never saw it coming. She was panicking, looking around for something... anything. "Ah, uh... Brighthouse!" Everyone just stared at her, and I resisted the urge to facehoof. It was a very, very powerful urge. Her nervous laughter did nothing to help that, either.

I reached over with my wing and patted her on the shoulders before nodding. "Breathe, Misty," I whispered. "You got this."

Misty shot me a grateful smile, and she calmed herself. "It's Brightdawn." Giving me a quick glance, noting my quick wave of the hoof, she swallowed before adding, "And I'm sorry about being all weird earlier." Zipp almost opened her mouth, but I shook my head and mouthed 'later'. "The truth is... this is my first sleepover... I didn't grow up in Bridlewood like you... I just grew up alone with my caretaker in the middle of nowhere..."

What's funny is that this totally wasn't a lie in the least. She genuinely believed every bit of it... so why did that make me suddenly feel so suspicious? I could see the suspicion in Zipp's eyes, but Pipp and Sunny looked empathetic towards her. Meanwhile, I was once again wondering if Pinkie wasn't one of Izzy's ancestors, because I swear I'd seen that exact same excited grin on her face.

With an excited squeal, Izzy all but levitated Misty in through the door. "Welcome, Misty Brightdawn, to your first, and the best unicorn sleepover in your life!"

As I followed everyone inside, shutting the door behind me, I couldn't help but feel bad for Misty. Barely in the door, and she was kind of getting overwhelmed. I quickly pantomimed deep breaths to her, and then went to intercept Zipp. "Be right back," I announced, conjuring up a spatial fold spell on the underside of my hoof as I walked over to her. "I still need to have my wake-up cup of love—" I glanced at Pipp. "—and I need to borrow Zipp for a moment."

Before the pegasus could protest, I opened a tear in space beneath the two of us, dropping us into the space in my room above my pillow nest. She was caught so off guard that she quickly fell into the hanging bowl of pillows and blankets. Having been ready, I merely spread my wings and glided over to the cask of love. By the time she fished herself out of my little slice of heaven, I'd already turned on the lights and poured myself a cuppa.

Waving her over, I reclined on the sofa and took my time drinking down my love. "What the hay, Anon?" she grumbled as she untangled herself from the duvet that had once been draped over most of the pile. "If you wanted to talk, you could've just pulled me aside." She paused, glancing at the empty space above my sleeping arrangement. "Why do you even have a spell that just drops you into your bed?"

I shrugged at that last bit. I named it 'Fuck it, I'm Out', but that wasn't important. "I just wanted to head off something before it caused any drama," I explained in a soft voice. She looked kind of surprised, and maybe offended that she was the one being implied to be likely to cause drama, but she remained quiet until I finished my cup of changeling life-nectar. "Zipp, you're brave, loyal, smart, and too damn curious for your own good, but can also be a bit... intense. You're a lot like Rainbow Dash in that way...

"That's not always a good thing, either," I continued, setting the mug down and levitating a small plush opossum out of the pillow pile and pulling it into a hug. It was Serenity—the very same plush I'd once been gifted by Princess Luna—and although the calming enchantment had long since worn off, I still had the placebo effect. "I know what it's like to be a socially anxious pony on the receiving end of that sort of protective drive. I don't think you and Misty might reach the level of drama between me and Dash right after I turned into a changeling, but... It would still disrupt Misty and Izzy's special night."

The brainy speedster looked a bit crestfallen at that. I'd never told any of them anything about what I'd done in Manehattan all those years ago, how badly it and the Storm King's invasion broke me, nor just how close I'd once gotten to making one of Mom's best friends end me. Their pity belonged nowhere near me, and telling them would just result in Hitch wanting me out of town. That said, I think the weight of what I said got to Zipp.

"But she's totally suspicious!" she argued, albeit halfheartedly. "How does somepony just grow up in the middle of nowhere and not know anything about their own people?"

I was tempted to point out that back in my day, there had been such things as pony trafficking and straight up slavery in some less civilised parts of the world. It wasn't too out there for me to suspect that she might have been trafficked as a foal, and sold to some pegasus hermit as a servant. That said, I was trying to defuse the princess—not activate her.

"Oh, it's totally suspicious," I agreed, glancing over to the door. "That said, I can tell you that the anxious, scared filly thing isn't an act; she genuinely doesn't seem to have any clue how to react around others. She's not used to being treated well, and I'm sure you'll notice it if you throw some genuine compliments and kindness her way, too."

With a shrug, I set down the plush, hopped off the sofa and started walking toward the portal door. "I'm not saying 'Don't be sus of her'," I whispered as I passed. "I'm just saying keep the foal mitts on, okay?"

~ 07 ~

You know, if I'm being honest, I kinda expected Izzy to try and rush everypony through every one of the sleepover's traditions. She seemed so excited to showcase every single one, and that seemed exactly what would be in-character for her. To my surprise, she actually was taking her time, so that not only Misty could enjoy it, but so too could the rest of us.

Horn decorating was a neat affair. Sunny, Zipp and Pipp all had rolled cardboard ones protruding from their manes, and while Misty, me, and Izzy had our own real or transformed ones. While the hostess stuck all sorts of gemstones—they might have been glass—to her horn, Pipp ended up with a glitter goatee because someone didn't put the container's lid on right. Personally, I liked the flame pattern Misty put on hers.

The game 'Dare the Mare' had these really weird rules. It made sense to Izzy—and apparently Pipp—but I had a hard time following it. Basically the gist I got was that the player spun the number wheel, and then take a dare from one of the other players. If it was odd, they got to do a fun dare, but if it was even, it'd be funny. They'd move forward if they succeeded and it was in line with the theme, or back to start if it was more in line with the other.

Izzy was out to win, while everyone else was looking to enjoy themselves. On Pipp's first turn, I dared her to give Misty a wing hug. Since the blue filly's resulting blush was funny, Pipp got to continue. Out for revenge, she dared me to reveal what kind of pony I was attracted to. Dunno if she was trying to embarrass me, but I don't think any of them were ready to see me turn into an alicorn composite of the friend group. It had Zipp's figure, Hitch's colouring, Pipp's fluffy plumage, Izzy's mane, Misty's eyes, and Sunny's smile.

They all just sorta stared at me for a few moments after that. Then a few minutes after that, Misty slowly said, "I didn't know mares could like other mares like that." Poor sheltered kid. "So you like all of us like that?"

I couldn't help but spend the rest of the game just giggling. "This is gonna sound weird," I explained, watching as Misty did the Cha-cha Slide for Izzy, "but I don't actually know what I want in a pony. I find different things attractive for different reasons, but as a changeling, I'm most attracted to the kinds of emotions, be it what I feel from others, or what they make me feel. All of you and Hitch—" I gestured at the main group with my wing as I transformed back to the earlier alicorn Anon form. "—are some of the happiest, most positive ponies I've ever met, and if I'm being honest, Misty here just gives off this little sister vibe that triggers my big sibling instinct." I paused for a moment at the wide-eyed looks and then shrugged. "Oh, if you were asking about lewd feelings... Dunno. Don't exactly have a lot of thought behind that beyond, 'Mares are hot'."

I didn't much care for the hoof-reading. Something told me that it wasn't exactly Misty's sort of thing either, because she was looking around when she thought nopony was watching. It was honestly kinda suspicious, and I could see Zipp giving me a look as if to say, "Are you seeing this shit?"

Between that and the tea-leaf reading, nothing too unusual happened. Somehow, both my hoof and tea-leaves apparently determined that I would find a worthy opponent and that our battle would be legendary. I don't know if that meant that somepony was gonna set up a poker tournament for me to crush, or if I was about to get some sort of archnemesis to clown on, or what. Meanwhile, apparently short-term misfortune would lead to good things in the new year for Misty.

The unfettered glee exuded by Misty when she pronounced the ponycorn to be the best thing was simultaneously heartwarming and heartbreaking. It was just candied popcorn, but you'd swear you just fed her one of Pinkie Pie's famous triple chocolate cupcakes. What kind of food was she eating that makes this officially the best thing she's ever eaten?

Despite being behind schedule, we sat through the entirety of Trotting Hill, a staple movie for unicorn sleepovers. I could practically imagine Izzy saying "If we don't do everything, it's jinxie!" That said, I think she was seeing how much of the unicorn experience her fellow unicorn had missed out on during her youth. I actually had no idea exactly how old any of these girls were, but I had Misty and Pipp pegged for nineteen, while Zip was probably twenty-three, and Izzy and Sunny tied at twenty-one. Still it was clear the girl had missed a lot growing up.

During a pee break, an intermission during which I popped downstairs for another mug of love and to grab the largest and comfiest pillow from my nest, Misty finally initiated a conversation herself while sneaking a bit of Pipp's chocolate ponycorn. "So, um, where's that little dragon from earlier?" she asked with a hum. "Shouldn't he be enjoying the party as well?"

That brought a smile to Pipp's face. "Oh, Sparky?" she clarified. When Misty nodded, she explained, "Hitch is limiting the overnight dragon-sitting until he gets the hang of his dragon fire."

A short aside about dragon fire, cutie marks, and some other silliness between her, Misty, and Sunny happened, but I stopped paying attention partway through. Instead, I was gauging just how close the white pegasus sibling was getting to interrogating the youngest unicorn. Her entire emotional spectrum was screaming suspicion, and I didn't blame her. As the night went on, especially during the sleepover song, Misty only seemed to get more antsy, occasionally fidgeting with a locket that was around her neck.

Eventually, when a discussion popped up over what traditional game they should all do next popped up, I watched as Misty slunk off upstairs without a word. If she'd been looking for the bathroom, I'd have been willing to show her, but she didn't even ask, so she was up to something. Zipp was certainly right that she was up to something...

Rather than follow her up, I pushed open a window and crawled outside. Using some innate changeling magics, I slowly crept up the near vertical wall to one of the stained-glass bedroom windows, and started watching. I couldn't see everything from my vantage point—the window I'd chosen was by Zipp's bed and attached desk, and partially obscured, but it was clear that she was looking for something. She was peeking under Sunny's bed, under her pillows... Girl, you're just asking to find something you weren't meant to see if you go searching places like that.

Eventually, I guess she got frustrated. Muttering something to herself, the blue unicorn rushed straight over to the window I'd been watching through. I quietly climbed further up the wall, and hung upside down from the gallery balcony. When she pushed the window and leaned out, I saw she was holding that locket of hers on one of her hooves.

"Opaline, I'm in!" she whispered to the locket. "But no lantern. What do I do next?"

Why does that name ring a bell? I paused for a moment before remembering the first time I met Misty, disguised as her in an alley. Hadn't she said something about an Opaline casting a spell? I also remembered that name making me surprisingly angry despite my inability to recognise it. No... Ponies today don't use spells; their understanding of magic is in its infancy, so how does...?

For a moment, nothing happened, but then a surface on the necklace opened like an eye, and a cloud of smoke drifted out. From within the cloud, the ethereal head of a dark-coloured unicorn emerged. She was definitely older by a fair bit, and her white mane seemed to be braided around her ears. The pony, this Opaline, groaned and rolled her eyes. "THINK, Misty!" she snarled, fixing the young unicorn with a glare. "There's got to be some way up to that glass room at the top! It'll be there with the pris-beam! Don't come back without it! Then their power is ours!"

The projection of the mare broke into a cliché super-villain laugh, which Misty tried to mimic. Oh dear, oh dear. The mare seemed momentarily surprised by the laugh. "Oh. Better, Misty. But it's a marathon, not a sprint. Don't be a show-off." A moment of glee at being praised was quashed as the admonishment followed.

When the smoke crept back into the locket, and Misty pulled the window shut, I was left sitting upside down on the underside of the balcony. Was this sweet young mare really just here to rob Sunny and deliver a magical artefact to some mysterious unicorn? Is she really an enemy? I didn't want to believe it, but there was no denying what I'd just seen. Yet, at the same time, those emotions of Misty's were genuine. The way she reacts like somepony used to abuse... It's possible she's being used and doesn't even realise it because she's been isolated growing up.

~ 07 ~

Whatever the next few events were, I missed out on them. Instead, I returned to my room and started poring through my bookcase's contents with a text indexing spell. Mom had given me some of the most complete histories of Equestria from her library before sealing me away, so surely there must've been some sort of record... some mention of an Opaline. Yet I wasn't finding anything. There was a reference in the index of the History of Skyros, but all the relevant pages had been torn out.

As I stared down at the vandalised historical tome, I could hear the girls up above talking about sharing stories... Sunny was taking the lead, sharing what sounded like Mom's story... At least, at first. it stopped sounding familiar at, "But then one day, a magical accident happened!" Wait, no... It does... Why does that.. "An earth pony got hurt by a unicorn! Everypony started fighting with each other! The princess, wanting to protect her kingdom and all of the ponies in it, decided to put all magic into three crystals before it got out of hoof..."

I let out a strangled sob as the memory of a hospital waiting room floated up from the depths of my mind. The door into the operating suite opened up, and Mom stepped out, still wearing blood-stained scrubs. Despite the surgical mask covering most of her face, it did nothing to hide the tears in her eyes. The moment her eyes locked on mine, I could see her emotional aura turn completely blue with sorrow and guilt.

Despite the hive-resin patchjob covering my own wounds, I rushed over to her. "Mom, were..." I stammered, trying to keep myself from panicking. "Did you..."

She broke her gaze and, in doing so, my heart. "It's too soon to say, Anon," she whimpered, tugging my taller form into a tight hug. "Emerald's lost a lot of blood, even though we've healed most of the burns, we don't know if she'll pull through." She buried her face in the length of green mane hanging down over my withers. "All we can do now is make her comfortable and hope she pulls through."

The memory shifted. I was no longer in the hospital room, but instead in the map room of the Castle of Friendship—my unofficial war-room. My chitin was starting to flake and crack in places, but the worst part was the holes in my legs. How long had it been since I'd eaten any love? I was staring down at the holographic map of Equestria and all of the surrounding lands, projected above the table.

"Come on, you stupid fucking tree!" I shouted, slamming my forehooves down on the edge of the table. "You know as well as I do that Opaline is to blame for all of this, and she'll just keep pushing Equestria out of harmony! Just show me where she is and I'll fix the Tartarus damned problem!"

Behind me, the door opened, and in stepped Mom. She looked just as haggard as I felt. Her mane was a mess, and it looked like it'd been days since she'd preened or taken a brush to her coat. "Anon, come back to Canterlot with me, please," she pleaded. "Emerald misses you, and your crusade isn't helping! If anything, you hitting the bases of her cultists is just making things worse!"

I couldn't help but gape at her. "Mom... That monster's the reason my sister is in the hospital!" I shouted in my two-tone voice. I stomped the ground so hard that the chitin of my hoof cracked, and tears spilt down my cheeks. Green hemolymph began to well up from the split as I stared at it. "I swore I would always protect her, and Opaline made a liar of me!"

Mom shook her head, a pitying look on her face. "She didn't put the incomplete spell in that stallion's hooves, my little love bug," she whispered. "She's been stoking racial tensions and built a cult following, but what happened to Emerald was a freak accident!" Her magic encapsulated my hoof, and the bleeding stopped. "You're so intent on getting revenge for her that not only have you not visited, but you're actively killing yourself! She doesn't want this... She never did..." It was a slap in the face, but she was right...

Again, the memory shifted. I was in Canterlot castle, surrounded by mages as Mom supervised. My body had recovered from my state of starvation, I'd said my goodbyes, and we were getting me ready to go into stasis. I wasn't paying the spellcasters any mind; I was too focused on Mom as she loaded all sorts of books into my pocket dimension.

"Before you leave for the future, I want you to make a magical oath," she was saying, her back turned to me. "I have a plan in place, but you're too unpredictable to account for."

I eyed her with suspicion. Mind magic still put me on edge due to the effects Chrysalis' geas had on me. "What would this oath entail?"

As she finished loading my personal stash outside space and time with untold knowledge, she turned to me and fixed me with a smile that didn't reach her eyes. "I want you to promise that, whatever happens with Opaline in the future, you will only intervene if an innocent is in immediate danger. You may do what you think is necessary to undermine her, but whatever group reunites the Unity Crystals is destined to become the next Guardians of Equestria. Opaline is a threat, but so long as things go according to the plan Fate helped arrange, she will remain too weak to pose more than a stepping stone for them. They'll need to learn about her themselves, though. No spoilers."

I didn't like it... This was getting into Harmony's manipulative bullshit territory. That said, she was giving me a fair bit of leeway to operate. Sure, I would never get my revenge for what happened to Emerald by ridding the world of the evil pony that set her near death into motion, but I could guide and watch over Mom's and the Elements' successors. If the Unity Crystals never reunited, however, I'd be trapped in a dreamless sleep outside of time forever, as that would be the condition allowing the capsule to open.

"I promise."

Shaking my head, I brushed tears from my eyes and looked back down at the torn-out pages of the History of Skyros. A slip of paper shimmered into existence—no, that's not quite right. The enchantment hiding it from my eyes dispersed. I was left staring down at Mom's crisp writing.
Anon,

If you're seeing this note, you've begun to regain your memories. Specifically, you've remembered who our enemy was, and likely all of the hurt that she has caused you. I am writing this to remind you of your purpose. You agreed to go into the capsule in order to watch over the ponies of the new Equestria, and you are still expected to guide their magical development. First and foremost, however, your magical oath is top priority. Watch over the ones that united the Unity Crystals and broke the magical seal on your time capsule. Guide them, but intervene only if there is no other option.

More than that, I want to remind you how proud I am of you. I watched you grow from a troubled young filly, so full of hurt and potential, into a strong young mare who grew past her trauma and into one of the most talented mages of our time. I know you can push past the grief of leaving us all behind, as you have in the past, and make the new world a better place. I want you to be safe from the schism to come, and Désirée insisted I ensure your survival no matter what.

I know you still hold a grudge against her for her role in you becoming a changeling, but I want you to know... Once you're sealed away and the capsule has been entrusted to somepony, Désirée is giving up her current incarnation in order to fuel a protective spell that shall gradually erase your existence from the memory of all living beings—including my own—until you're released. She wanted to ensure that the enemy and her cult cannot find a way to harm you.

Since this is the last time I will be able to say this, I want to tell you how happy it made me to have you in our lives. It hurts so much knowing that I'll never again remember all the good times, nor the bad, by the time I've finish purging all references to you from history. Who would have thought that the little troublemaker shipped to me in a crate for stealing Celestia's cake would become such an important pony in our lives? As your Mom, adoptive though I may have been, I do this for you, my precious little changeling daughter.
I will love you always,
Princess Twilight Sparkle

I gently set down the scrap of paper, reeling at the flood of emotions. It was as though a dam that had been created by the restriction of my memories had broken, and the grief of nearly losing my little sister, the guilt I felt at having never visited while she was recovering, and the lingering wrath I felt towards that goddamned alicorn, Opaline, were all free to assail my mind all at once. That left me feeling incredibly small, so much so that I didn't even notice my form shrinking down to the tiny alicorn filly disguise I wore when I handed myself in to the Storm King's forces so long ago.

Making my way over to the sofa and cask, I picked up my foalhood emotional support plush. I regretted not learning how to refresh the enchantment, but it seemed like such a long time since feeling overwhelmed enough to need the enchantment. Sure, it would've been nice to have her enchantment when I had the breakdown that drove me to drink.

As I sat there, hugging Serenity, I levitated my mug over to the cask and filled it. At the very least, I could count on love to calm me down. Still, I couldn't stop myself from weeping as I read #1 Changeling Daughter on the mug.

~ Elsewhere ~

Despite the fact that her minion was currently deep in enemy territory, attempting to steal a magical artefact that she could hopefully use to empower herself, Opaline Arcana, the Alicorn Queen of Fire wasn't nearly as concerned as she ought to be. Sunny Starscout's miserable friends didn't have the slightest clue that they had a spy among them, and she'd been watching Misty with a scrying spell during her minion's meet-up with the changeling. If anything, the changeling was the main threat to her plan, but she didn't seem any the wiser to their plans.

Still, as she sat in her rec-room of doom watching Trotting Hill, a strange feeling came over her. As an alicorn with millennia of experience, she wasn't unfamiliar with the sensation of a spell being cast upon her, or conversely, a spell wearing off. This specific sensation reminded her of cobwebs being pulled free of her mane when dusting the west entertainment quarters, back before she'd acquired Misty. Evidently, somepony had cast a spell on her, a long time ago, and it was only now wearing off.

It was then that a feeling of dread began to set in. Misty, her only pawn and means of interacting with the outside world, was in the Brighthouse. The changeling, Anonymous Flicker was also residing in the Brighthouse. Opaline had memories of that changeling now—ones that hadn't been there before. The other adopted daughter of that detestable Twilight Sparkle, who had a penchant for pack bonding with the strangest of ponies, was alive and present... and this changeling had at one point been on a bloodthirsty crusade searching for the fire alicorn.

She ran to her throne room and glanced down into the viewing pool. There was no sign of an outbreak of chaos or havoc at the Brighthouse... and Misty was currently fretting about something in the nearby gardens. By all appearances, things were serene... So why was it that she felt fear?

"Am I in danger?" she asked aloud, watching as her pawn walked back up the path to the main building. "Is sending a vulnerable filly into the changeling's den a massive mistake?" She shook her head and dismissed the thought. "She would've started trying to hunt me down the moment she woke up if she remembered who I was. I have nothing to worry about from the likes of her."

Author's Note

Taking a bit of lore from Make Your Mark, and a bit from Tell Your Tale. Never much cared for Misty borrowing the compact to talk to Opaline.

No video log in this half of the chapter. Instead, we are getting some ~ 𝓛𝓸𝓻𝓮 ~. The part of the reason that Anonymous Flicker cannot remember the months leading up to her hibernation in the time capsule, as well as why Opaline can not remember Anon.

Vlog 07: On Sleepovers - Part 2
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Vlogs of an Ancient Insect

Vlog 07: On Sleepovers - Part 2

When I finally returned upstairs, my plush clutched against my chest, I found Sunny and Pipp were in the process of making decorations and taking them up to the bedroom. Meanwhile Izzy seemed to be listing off things to Zipp in the kitchen. I had no idea what was even happening up here. The only thing I couldn't see was Opaline's little sneak thief.

Pipp was the first to notice me, pausing while hanging up some strange woodsy ornament. "Oh, there you are, Anon," she announced in a voice that sounded like she was trying not to succumb to how adorable my alicorn filly appearance was. "We were wondering what was up with you vanishing."

Sunny placed a hoof on my withers. "We heard you crying," she whispered. "Is everything alright?"

I didn't meet here gaze. "I overheard your story, and I... remembered something from the time leading up to my entering the time capsule," I said, noting that my most comfortable pillow was still where I left it. Thanks to the infusion of love, I was able to get this next part out. "The earth pony who got hurt... that was my sister, Emerald Flicker. It hit me hard, because she was still in the hospital when Mom convinced me to come here... Then I found a letter from Mom..."

The girls both looked stricken, and Sunny herself was radiating a fair amount of guilt as I followed them up to the bedroom. She probably saw it as her fault that I'd remembered. Maybe it was, but as much as I wanted to be mad, I was actually thankful. If I'd never overheard that story, I might never have remembered those events in the first place... I'd never have gotten to read Mom's final goodbye.

I smiled up at Sunny. "None of that self-recrimination and guilt, Ms. Starscout," I chided, reaching out with my magic and adjusting an ornament Pipp had just hung up. "I just have a whole lot on my mind... Like the fact that I apparently submitted to a magical oath before my sealing away, and the fact that it prevents me from talking about what's bugging me."

She looked like she wanted to say something, and I'm sure Zipp would definitely try to grill me if she'd heard it. "Anyway, what's all this? I asked, glancing around. "And where's our new friend gone?"

"Oh, Misty?" Pipp asked as she moved one of the glowpaz stones placed beside Izzy's bed. She radiated frustration and a bit of pity. "Somepony couldn't help but get on Misty's case and scared her off."

Shit... I was hoping that I'd get to talk to her in private about if she'd always been in service to Opaline or if she remembered a foalhood before that, I thought, remembering the picture of the Alphabittle's missing daughter on my phone. At the very least, I'd have liked to tail her home and see where the fire alicorn was based.

Sunny nodded, hanging another decoration "Then Izzy declared this whole night one big jinx-a-thon and that it didn't count as a real traditional unicorn sleepover because we weren't in Bridlewood," she explained. Why was she so damn compassionate? It was getting too easy to think that Mom had somehow picked Sunny as her successor. She seemed too perfect for the role. "As for all of this, I thought she might feel a little less homesick if we did this for her."

Feeling homesick, huh? "Hold my beer, I've got an idea!" I exclaimed as I readied the Spatial Fold spell targeting the anchor stone affixed to the underside of my bed.

"What beer?" Pipp worriedly asked before I dropped through the floor.

The moment I was clear of the rip in space, I spread my wings and glided over to my workbench. Setting Serenity down beside me, I grabbed a slate and my etching tools, and quickly started writing out an illusion projection. It would take me casting it once to imprint the memory I wanted them to see in the stone, but that was fine. I didn't even add in an energy storage matrix to the spell, instead making it purely powered by channelled mana so that it could operate off the crystal power.

Once the tablet was complete and imprinted, I slotted it into what had been the housing for a prototype magic lantern Izzy had been helping me with. A freshly charged chunk of quartz was slapped into the housing and locked down.

I nearly bowled over Sunny as I burst through the door to the main floor with a lantern hanging from my mouth. "C'mon," I whispered, "Lemme get this set up, and then bring Izzy and Zipp up."

When I got up the stairs, I set the ~~lantern~~ illusion projector down beside the lantern Izzy had unicycled for Sunny—I think it'd been called the Hope Lantern. "Anon wh—" Pipp began, her words hitching in her throat when I clicked the switch on it to the on position. The ceiling vanished, leaving only the view of the forest canopy as I'd seen it just outside the Crystal Tea Room. "Oh my hoofness."

When Sunny got up here, she practically had to pick her jaw up off the floor. It wasn't a perfect illusion, since if you looked hard enough, you might notice a raven frozen mid-flight. It was also way too still and quiet. Trees subtly shifted and groaned in the wind, and there was always the wind rustling through the forest canopy.

Just as Sunny looked like she was about to squeal in excitement, the purple pegasus darted over. There was no literal hoof-in-mouth silencing here, but when she covered Sunny's mouth, the earth pony got the point. "This is incredible!" She looked around, before shooting me an appreciative smile. "She's going to love it, Anon."

I chose to remain up here while they went and fetched Izzy. Already, I was looking at my handiwork and considering making one of these for my lair. How nice would it be if the ceiling and walls in my room were replaced by a memory of Ponyville? It'd take some time meditating and preparing a mental construct from memory. If I was gonna surround myself with the past, I wanted it to be perfect.

Hmm, there's an idea... Panoramic memory illusions. Capture that perfect moment and look back at it... A shame it requires you to be actively picturing everything in your mind when you imprint it... Otherwise it'd make for a great tool for interviewing victims of crimes.

My thoughts were interrupted by a very bizarre sight. Sunny and Zipp were marching Izzy backwards, blindfolded, up the ramp from the main floor. That wasn't the weirdest thing, though... "...Crunchy unicorn corn cakes! Sweet, salty horn-shaped strudel! Knitting scarves for armadillos in the winter!" She was currently still listing all the things that she missed about Bridlewood. "Say, when did all the lights go out?"

Even Zipp looked dumbstruck at the illusion that was currently obscuring the ceiling. I think she might even have been fighting the pegasus desire to fly high. That's good, because she'd probably break her neck if she rocketed into the ceiling. "Okay, stop listing things, Izzy," Sunny said, spinning her on the spot. "Because... One... Two..." She whipped off the blindfold. "Surprise!"

She gasped, and looked at all the stuff. "What... What is all this stuff?" Izzy couldn't help but gasp. She was surprised, but she was radiating happiness. Then, she looked up and she went teary eyed. "Oh my..."

Sunny beamed at her friend. "It's all the stuff you said you missed from Bridlewood," she explained, patting my still small form on the head. "Give or take a few horn-shaped strudels."

Pipp stepped up to the other side of me. "Now you can lay down and look up at the branches, just like home," she added, also patting me. What am I, a fucking cat now? Or are my tiny forms that cute to these ponies? "Now quite literally with Anon's contribution."

The shock of seeing the Bridlewood skies must have worn off, because she quickly tugged the three of us into a bone-crushing hug... Or rather, an Anon-crushing one, since I was damn near killed. Only detransforming and occupying more space saved me. I swear that filly has earth pony in her.

"I can't believe it," Izzy stammered. When she finally put the three of us down, she gaped at all of us. "How did you manage all of this just when I was talking?"

Finally Zipp found her own voice, and let out a chuckle. "To be fair, you had a lot to talk about."

I was momentarily distracted as another pony's emotional presence entered the effective radius of my bug horse senses. They were anxious, but also hopeful, and determined. It was also unmistakably Misty. I can't believe she came back. She's so timid, and you'd think with her getting Zipp on high alert, she'd have hightailed it out of here.

As Izzy looked around, she saw Sunny's pris-beam lantern encircled in construction paper. The paper was cut in such a way that it cast tree-shaped shadows around the room. "Oooh! This is some pretty impressive unicycling, too!" she noted, regarding Sunny and Pipp with a sly look. "Maybe you all have a bit of unicorn in you after all."

By the time Izzy finished that sentence, Misty had made her way up here. She was currently peering nervously around the glass elevator leading up to the Brighthouse's lighthouse gallery. I of course said nothing, as I wanted to watch how this all played out. Instead I found myself wishing I knew off the top of my head the cantrip to project my voice. Imagine how spooked she'd get if I whispered to her from across the room that we needed to talk later.

When Izzy finally spotted Misty, she gasped and exclaimed, "Misty! You're back!"

Despite the earlier determination, she wilted a bit as everyone turned to face her. With a nervous laugh, the young mare offered up her half-assed excuse. "Uh, yeah. I-I was hungry, so I thought, 'Maybe I'll go down to the garden and harvest some glimmerberries?'" Why was that intoned like it was a question? "Th-that I ate all myself, which is why I don't have any right now." This was punctuated by another nervous laugh.

Yeah, I don't think Zipp bought that any more than I did. It didn't seem all that suspicious to Izzy though. She crossed the floor to meet Misty, and placed a hoof in her alleged friend's wither. "Oh, I'm just so glad you're back!" she said in a soft voice. "I hope you know how welcome you are here."

I watched the emotional aura of the cornflower mare waver, and her determination fell away completely, replaced by a strong sense of guilt. Then Izzy waved a hoof and gestured at all the decorations and the illusory forest canopy above. "Look, even if you didn't grow up in Bridlewood, I hope you can feel the welcoming vibe of my sweet little home town."

Misty's eyes danced over the decorations, with nary a second thought. That changed when she actually took in the view of the trees above. There was a glint of recognition in her eyes, and when she looked at everything again, she let out a quiet breath. "Yeah," she whispered as her eyes locked on a specific grouping of trees. "It's like I'm transported back in time. It's actually... really incredible."

~ 07-II ~

After popping back downstairs to grab my phone and getting permission to record, I sat down on my pillow with a smile. I opened the video with a sweeping shot, capturing everyone as Izzy recommenced the traditional unicorn sleepover under the illusory canopy. Even as they transitioned to the unicorn song, I focused the camera on me.

"Good evening, Maretime Bay," I greeted my fans. "It's your one and only changeling queen, Anonymous Flicker, and I'm coming to you live from the Crystal Brighthouse. Since I'm participating in a kinda-sorta traditional unicorn sleepover hosted by our very own Izzy Moonbow, I figured I'd use the opportunity to discuss what sleepovers were like when I was growing up."

A yawn escaped me and I couldn't help but stretch as my magic held the camera before me. "There were two kinds of sleepovers I went to over the years," I explained with a wistful smile. "The first was the sleepovers that involved my sister, my friends—the Cutie Mark Crusaders—and some foals from their extended friend group."

The memories flooding back elicited a sigh. "These were simple foal's sleepovers, with scary stories, board games, pizza, and an unholy amount of sweets," I listed with a smirk. "As we got older and more of us reached adolescence, things of course got more mischievous. Truth or Dare was Scootaloo's favourite, but Sweetie Belle got surprisingly saucy as she grew older and, well..." I could feel the chitin on my cheeks darkening with a blush at the recollection, and I chuckled nervously. "I don't need to get into the kind of things young mares can get up to."

I realised then that the room had gone eerily quiet. When I looked at the other girls, all of them except for Misty was blushing. Clearly she wasn't quite aware of what I was insinuating. Do I need to also ask if Opaline gave her the birds and the bees when I interrogate her?

"The other sleepover type I attended was the group sleepovers Mom had with the other Elements of Harmony," I redirected with a wave of my hoof. "These occasions were few, but they usually involved a big meal, drinking, and chatting. They always ended in everypony sleeping in a pony pile, using one or more of your neighbours as a pillow.

"Their Philia... Their platonic love for one another was so strong that I never failed to feel safe snuggling in with them," I said with a happy smile. "You wanna see something cute, there's nothing cuter than a changeling who goes to sleep in such a pony pile and wakes up so bloated from passively absorbing love that she has to transform in order to walk without her love distended belly touching the floor."

The others all burst into laughter at the mental image. Evidently, they were all listening intently to what I was saying now. I suppose it was a pretty relevant topic. I just shrugged and shook my head.

"It's funny how tonight's festivities, different though they were, were also so similar to what I grew up with," I murmured. "Makes me glad that some traditions are universal, regardless of societal collapse and rebuild."

Another yawn overtook me, and I decided to cut things short. As I shank myself down to bug-filly size once more, I gave a nod to the camera. "This is your sleepyhead changeling queen... Signing off."

~ 07-II ~

I think I was probably the first one to turn in that night. They all stayed up and chatted a bit longer, and though I was mostly asleep, I came out of it enough at one point to hear Pipp asking Sunny whispering in scandalised voices. Evidently, Pipp was trying to imagine what a bunch of fillies got up to with a shape-shifter at a time in their lives when hormones were going wild. Sunny was a bit more respectful of my privacy, but admitted they were probably some wild experiences that transcended the border of species and sex. Honestly, the two were probably having way lewder thoughts than was actually the case.

I probably slept until a little after two in the morning. It would've been longer, but somepony had opened a window, and a cool breeze washed over my chitin. Given that my core temperature was naturally lower than an average pony, the shift in temperature was enough to jar me awake.

The last time somepony opened a window here tonight, it was a certain little spy. Cracking open an eye, I saw Misty once again stop the desk at Zipp's portion of the bedroom, poking her head out the window. Quickly and quietly, I crept over to evesdrop.

"What took you so long!?" came the frustrated voice of Opaline. "Did you find it!?"

"I tried, Opaline, but this plan has been, well, more difficult than we originally anticipated," the young mare apologised, her tail swishing about anxiously. "But don't worry! Though I haven't picked up the lantern per se, I have gathered plenty of info about their new magic! Well, they believe a completely different story about the origin of Equestria." She was positively gushing. "Oh! And they told me all about dragonfire and how it changes cutie marks! Also, we did a hoof-reading and ate ponycorn and did horn decorating and—"

The fire alicorn on the other end of the enchanted necklace interrupted her."Hold on, Misty. Horn decorating, ponycorn, and hoof-reading!? Did you have fun with these puny ponies?!"

A shiver of fear wracked the young mare, and I saw her head subtly angle away from the direction she'd been looking. "No, no, of course not. It was strategic hoof-reading for gathering intel," she lied. With a gasp, she sidetracked herself. "But seriously, have you ever tried ponycorn before?! Because it's the best! I mean, the best way to trick the ponies into thinking I'm one of their friends!" She let out a nervous chuckle, and I began to feel the teensiest bit of remorse from her. "I'm telling ya! They were gabbin'! I was grubbin'!"

Behind me, I heard Zipp beginning to stir. When the pegasus yawned, she quickly said her goodbyes whispered something about top secret plans, before pulling the window shut. Zipp was fully awake and eyeing the little sneak with barely-contained suspicion as she crept back to her bedding. As Misty passed me, the pegasus detective noticed me, and I was forced to shrug and pantomime, "I think she was having a smoke?"

Soon, everypony returned to sleep... Well, until Izzy got up and wandered out with the lantern. I quietly followed her downstairs, my pillow levitating beside me, and watched her move out to the garden, where there were some tea leaves. A bit late for some fresh, tea, but I'm not gonna judge, I thought as I entered my room and activated the light at my workbench. Without even looking, I dropped the pillow off in my bed as I made my way over to the workspace. From the bookcase, I levitated over one of my spell notebooks, and Mom's notes I found. I also grabbed my fountain pen from the writing nook and settled down. As an afterthought, I set an alarm on my phone to alert me when seven thirty rolled around.

It didn't look like the anti-scrying field spell's prototype needed any tweaks. There was no point in putting in any sort of whitelist, so I could leave out that section when I inscribed it on a slate. All I'd need are some straps from Izzy's craft corner upstairs, some superglue, and then craft a holder for a relatively small crystal. It'd be short use, but I wasn't intending to go on any sort of long missions where somepony might be scrying on me. I had everything else I needed in here.

The scrying spell, on the other hoof, required some personalised tweaks. Mom always leaned towards the classical, traditional spells, and as I looked over what she'd left me, it was the exact spell I'd seen in one of those old grimoires that belonged to Princess Luna. It required you to have a pool of water to project the vision upon. It was 'safer' than simply projecting it into one's mind, but there were other, better ways to view.

In my notebook, I penned out a revised version of the scrying spell. Gone was the projection onto water, replaced with projecting an illusory pane of glass through which the target could be viewed. I actually considered making it project onto the nearest mirror and then just engrave the spell on the back of a hoof-mirror, but the thing was that I was not intending to need to use it more than to simply test the anti-scrying field... Or to spy on the enemy... but I'd only be doing that in here anyways...

Eventually, when I determined the spell was complete, I switched my attention back to the notes on the anti-scrying field. Pulling over my materials, I got to work etching the spells into the ceramic slates I typically used these days. Once upon a time, I would have just rolled out a ball of clay, etched the spell in, and cooked it off in a fire spell or a kiln. That said, the curing process tended to introduce small deformities. With less complex spells, like the Plasma Bolt I made when I was a filly, it wasn't so bad, but with extremely complex spells like scrying or the illusion projector, more imperfections in the energy flow resulted in a more unstable a spell. Better to simply carve it out of a perfectly uniform surface that's already been cured than to fuck around and find out.

By the time I finished both spells, the clock on my phone's display read six o'clock in the morning. I didn't like the idea of spying on any of my friends, but I needed to verify that both spells worked, and that meant making sure I could actually see somepony from afar. Holding the scrying slate in my hoof, I turned to face the centre of my room and started focusing on Hitch Trailblazer as I activated the spell.

For a moment, nothing happened, and it felt like something was actively resisting the spell. Then, I thought I heard my mother's voice whisper, "Authorised user detected... Scrying permissions: granted," in my ear, and the illusory glass appeared a metre in front of me. It showed the stallion climbing out of a bed somehow hidden in the bottom drawers of three separate filing cabinets, and walking over to a coffee maker.

That's new... I didn't hear anything like that when I started tearing the fabric of reality in and around the Brighthouse. Could the Unity Crystals be serving as some sort of security system?

I changed my mental focus towards Misty. Immediately, the scene in the window changed, showing the young pony lying on the provided bedding with her pillow. It appeared as though the young unicorn was having some sort of nightmare, based on the way she was twitching and frowning. There were also some tears... What a shame. I wish I knew dream magic, kiddo.

It felt like I was intruding on something private, so I quickly focused on myself. Again, the image changed. It was so weird seeing myself in third pony perspective. The scrying window's feed appeared to originate in the air above my bed, probably two metres up.

While still keeping my focus, I reached over and grabbed the anti-scrying spell's slate. The moment I activated the spell, it felt like an elastic band had slapped around the fetlock of the hoof holding the first spell slate. The viewing window changed, and the third pony view of myself was replaced by an exterior shot of the Brighthouse from afar. With a sigh, I ceased channelling both spells, and put them both away in my magical storage.

I took my phone over to the sofa, where I proceeded to rest my eyes. I'd set my plan into motion, and until my phone's alarm went off, I wanted to get a bit extra rest. Maybe it was a quirk of being changeling queen—a being that could live potentially for a thousand years—but as long as I wasn't sleeping off severe alcohol poisoning, I technically didn't need nearly as much sleep as a pony. Maybe six hours max, and only a tiny fraction of it needed to be REM. A day could be stretched out with intermittent napping... actually not unlike a cat's ability to sleep at almost any time of the day, come to think of it.

When the alarm did go off, I heard movement upstairs, and there were several presences up in the kitchen. I quickly silenced the alarm and tossed my phone into my magical storage before grabbing up my mug. Yes, I filled it with yet more love. So what if I'd technically had more than subsistence level intake in the last day? I deserve to treat myself a little, even if I was still owed a snack from Izzy. With a full mug of Grade-A Princess of ~~Food~~ Love brand life-nectar, I stepped through the portal and made my way over to the dining nook.

"Morning, ladies," I greeted, looking from each sleepy looking pony gathered around the table. Princess Detective Zipp Storm was practically staring a hole into the side of Misty's head, but based on the bags under her eyes, she hadn't gotten that good of a sleep because of that nightmare. Pipp, and Izzy looked much more rested, despite the latter's nocturnal foraging. Then of course, you had Sunny—Our Lady of the Pancakes, Giver of Smoothies and Snackies. She was a whirlwind of movement as she constructed a tower of pancakes and ran some blenders.

"Good morning, Anon!" replied Sunny without taking her attention from her work as I sat down at a free spot. "You're usually a late riser, and when you weren't there when we all got up, I figured you might've gone down into your room to sleep until noon again."

I shrugged, even as Misty observed the exchange with interest. "Nah, woke up when Ms. Two O'clock Tea Time went down to the garden," I commented, shooting Izzy a smile before sipping my cup of love. "I figured I'd get to work on something Mom left me while I waited for the rest of you all to wake back up."

Misty, who was seated next to Izzy, leaned in close to her fellow unicorn to ask about who my Mom was. I paid little mind as Izzy explained how I was the adoptive daughter of an alicorn from the distant past, hurled forward through time in a magic trash can. Sure, it struck me weird that she somehow knew Mom erased me from history, but I was convinced by this point that she was some reincarnation of Pinkie Pie. Like Pinkie, she seemed to possess some sort of extra sense that granted her forbidden knowledge.

Zipp looked interested, but looked like she didn't want to ask while Ms. the Mole was present. Instead, Pipp asked, "How do you do it? I look awful at the end of an all-nighter and I feel worse, even after sleeping it off."

Ponies always get a bit creeped out when I laugh in my two-toned voice, and it was no different. Pipp, Izzy, and Zipp visibly shivered, and even Sunny paused what she was doing to glance over her shoulder. The odd thing was that Misty started laughing along with me, which diverted everyone's attention back to her. She quickly stopped, embarrassed beyond all belief. "Sorry, I tend to start laughing when others do."

"I've been something of a night-owl since my mid teens," I explained once I finished being weird. "It also helps that, as a changeling, I need less total sleep, and a circadian rhythm is more of a suggestion than a rule."

"Ooh! Cicada Rhythm sounds like a great name for a band!" exclaimed our resident unicycler as she played an air guitar. I didn't have the heart to tell her that she was thinking something completely different from what I'd just said.

Everything quieted down once food was served. Most of the ponies were taking their time eating. That said, since the time she saw me demolish a stack of pancakes bigger than my smol-bug form, Izzy had gotten... competitive over who could eat faster. I mean, it was quite clear that she'd never win at a contest for how much we could put away, what with me being a literal hunger fae, but even I had to pace myself and breathe. I nearly choked when Misty asked if this was also a traditional unicorn thing.

When I was finished eating, I excused myself, saying that I had to go meet with a publisher. This wasn't exactly a lie. I'd sent an email to a publishing company here in Maretime Bay and gotten a response saying to stop by whenever I finished the Your Magic and You manuscript. That said, it was an open invitation, and I was just using it to get out of the house.

The moment I was out the door, I transformed into a raven and perched myself near the door. It took some waiting, during which time I took another quick snooze, but eventually Misty exited the Brighthouse. She was probably thinking she was in the clear to return to her dark mistress, but then, she probably also thought I was long gone.

Flying after her, I mused to myself that if I'd been a stallion following a young mare home, it'd be super fucking creepy. Why should being a shape-shifting bug queen make it any different? It really didn't. Still, creepy simply didn't need to play into things. I wasn't actually intending on following her all the way home, and I wasn't up to anything nefarious. Just as soon as she was far enough away from the Brighthouse, I'd reveal myself, drop an anti-scrying field, and have a little talk.

Unfortunately, she kept to very public places during her journey through town, so I couldn't really approach her without causing some sort of scene. Despite ponies starting to accept me, I didn't doubt they'd assume I was trying to do something to her if I tried anything. Stranger still, even as she stopped here and there to collect groceries, she seemed to be making her way towards the west edge of town. I guess she lives outside town.

I continued to follow her from above for several klicks, right up until she entered a treeline. The one thing I noticed before I broke through the canopy to follow her closely was a castle on the edge of a cliff, with a big tree growing out of it, that seemingly popped up out of nowhere. It took me a minute to find her, but I decided I'd waited long enough. In the very voice I'd heard coming through her locket only hours before, I called out her name. "Misty."

She turned to look in the direction Opaline's voice had apparently come from, but paid no mind as a mere raven flew overhead. I quickly landed behind a tree, reverted to changeling form, and retrieved the scry-be-gone slate. I felt disgusting for what I decided to do next, but I started focusing on a newly resurfaced memory... Not long before everything started going to shit, Mom had once met with Opaline, who had only come out of hiding the year before. Being the kind, loving pony she was, Mom tried to broker peace, but Opaline had none of it; I'd been there at the meeting, disguised as a guard, and I got a real good look at her.

I should've killed her then and there and saved everypony the trouble, I thought darkly as I pictured the fire alicorn in my mind. Blue magical flames raced up my body, leaving me with a dark magenta coat with a light greyish mane streaked with pale opal, broad feathered wings, and a sharp slightly curved horn. I could do nothing about the armoured horseshoes she'd been wearing when I'd seen her, but I didn't really care. This was about sending a message.

As Misty passed my tree, I let out a two-note whistle. Before she'd even turned her head, I activated the anti-scrying field and smiled at her. "Hello, Misty," I purred in Opaline's voice. "Was this excursion everything you hoped for?"

She let out a startled squeak and nearly tripped over an exposed tree root. "O-oh, Opaline!" she stammered, placing a hoof over her heart as if it could somehow steady her heartbeat. Here came a lie. "Y-yes. I got so much useful information!"

Shaking my head, I trotted over to her. "That's not what I asked, Misty," I said in a quiet voice. Maybe it was just the intonation, but this only got Misty's hackles up more, and she backed up until her rump was pressed up against the tree whose exposed root nearly spilt her groceries. "Putting aside the lying and the spying, did you enjoy yourself with those ponies?"

"N-no, of course not!" she said too quickly. "How could I ever get along with the ponies who stand between you regaining your power and me getting my cutie mark?" When I frowned and cocked an eyebrow at her, she got really nervous. She refused to meet my gaze for several seconds before finally wilting. "Y-yes, Opaline, I enjoyed myself. I'm sorry I got carried away with all the new experiences, but—"

My smile returned, and I continued with the charade a bit more. "But nothing, my dear," I cut her off in that still too friendly tone. "If you enjoy hanging out with those ponies, you shouldn't feel guilty. Ponies are social creatures, after all. You can't spend your whole life kowtowing to one pony with zero downtime to spend with friends. It'll drive you mad."

She looked at me as though I'd just grown several heads. "Huh?" she asked in a questioning tone. "Y-you want me to make friends?" Her eyes narrowed with suspicion. "Is this another one of your tests?"

I rolled my eyes and let the transformation drop. "No test, I'm afraid," I explained, feeling remorse as Misty's panic skyrocketed. "Don't worry, she can't see anything happening here so long as I'm holding this slate. Now, relax before you give yourself a heart attack; I'm just here to talk."

"I-but you..." She started to hyperventilate, and I found myself having to sit down, transform the Hug spell onto my back leg, and cast it on the panicking pointy pony. Although she tensed at first when she felt my magic around her, she started to calm down at the gentle warmth wrapping around her midsection. "Y-you know about Opaline..." I nodded. "You know that I'm spying on them for her..." Again I nodded. "Have you told them already?"

I shook my head and then released the spell. With a smile that showed way too much of the sharp canines and incisors in my mouth. "Nope."

"B-but why?" Misty asked, looking at me in disbelief. "You live with them and they're your friends, aren't they?"

Again, I gave her a nod before meeting her with a level stare. "What's said here stays between you and me, capisci?" I said in a commanding tone. Immediately, I regretted it, as I felt the magic in my voice. Without a thought, she nodded. I didn't mean to put a geas on her... I didn't even say it like Chrysalis did... So why? "Opaline lucked out in that I took a magical oath that prevents me from directly interfering with the others' destinies. Mom had plans for the five of them, and it's up to them to face down your master. I may guide them and nudge them along, or take steps to indirectly undermine Opaline, but nothing short of innocents being directly imperilled will allow me direct intervention."

She looked shocked that I was admitting this, and I didn't exactly blame her. She probably hadn't even realised I'd committed a grievous sin against the sanctity of her mind by complete accident. "The flipside is that I also cannot reveal to Sunny, the girls, and Hitch that I know who their foe is."

That gave Misty pause. Cogs inside her head began to turn, and I could see in her emotional state the expanding bit of confusion and doubt. "But ratting me out isn't going against her directly... I'm a... what did she call it... I'm a proxy. So why keep quiet?"

Good question. I knew myself that ratting her out would only be impeding Opaline, just as it had been back when I'd been hunting down her cultists. That said, I actually also knew the reason I didn't do it before I remembered the fact that I had such oaths. Hell, I told you last night, girl.

"I'm gonna be real with you, Misty Brightdawn, servant of Opaline Arcana," I said in a sad voice. "You seem like a good kid, but I can tell by watching your behaviours and your emotions that she has not been nearly as kind to you as she might lead you to believe. I don't know if she foalnapped you, or arranged conditions for you to end up in her 'care', but she is not a good pony.

"Countless ponies—my sister included—have been seriously hurt or killed as a result of her actions, or the actions of those who choose to follow her. The thing is, she doesn't care for her followers. When they outlive their usefulness, she throws them away or simply leaves them hanging." She looked shaken by what I said, but I continued on. "Believe me, as somepony who made a deal with a devil, there are always caveats. Sometimes, the devil won't reveal the full conditions of the deal until you've already been burned... and your hooves are so soaked in blood that you wonder if it was worth it. If she's offering you a cutie mark, consider if you can live with whatever it takes to get you that mark... if she doesn't throw you away when she gets what she wants, first."

She looked like she was ready to cry. "W-why are you doing this?" she quavered. "You seemed so nice when we met before, and yesterday too... Was that all an act?"

It was my turn to recoil as though I'd been slapped. I'd never even thought how this must seem from her perspective. I mean, yeah, it's rich coming from a spy who was also playing with the emotions of other ponies, but still, I might've been being a bit too cruel. "Nah, I was being honest the whole time," I said in an apologetic tone. "Just... I felt how happy you were spending time with them. You might've been there under false pretences, but your emotional reactions, and theirs, were all genuine. Zipp's suspicious of you, but the rest of them genuinely enjoyed their time with you last night... I don't want to ruin that for them... or for you."

She looked startled when I spoke, so much so that she didn't even react as I shrank myself to her size and walked over to her. "I said last night during Dare the Mare that you set off my older sibling instincts... Something about you makes me want to protect you..." I placed a hoof under her chin and made her look me in the eye. "I want you see that there's more to life than being a pawn for a petty tyrant who didn't even raise a hoof to help her cults when a single pony was tearing them down..." With a sigh, I etched my phone number into the dirt in front of her. "I'm always willing to talk or hang out if she starts wearing you down. If you won't call me... at least consider the girls. You don't have to be alone."

Without any further warning, I transformed the spell formula for Fuck It, I'm Out onto the foreleg holding the slate. "See ya 'round, my little pony," I whispered before touching the spell engraved on my chitinous leg and taking the plunge. As I fell down into my nest of pillows, I wondered if I'd done the right thing. I'd stolen some agency from the young pony—even if it wasn't intentional—by implanting compulsion in her mind to keep that conversation quiet. That said, it didn't seem right to just leave her faith in that bitch unshaken.

I can't start thinking for the greater good, or else I'll become little better than that fucking tree... Or Opaline.

When I surfaced from the suspended pillow bowl, I was surprised to find Izzy in my lair. She was standing over by my workbench, dropping off a spool of gem-infused copper wire and what looked like some the straps and parts needed for mounting the Scry-Be-Gone slate on my foreleg. She smiled and waved at me as I climbed out and walked over to the bench.

"Oh! Hi, Anon!" she said in a cheerful voice. "You're back early; what were you doing in the woods with Misty?"

I didn't meet her eyes when I set the slate down on the bench. "Just making sure she got home safe," I lied. "She lives out in the sticks, so you never know when a wolf made of wood's gonna attack, y'know?" I reached into my magic storage and fetched my phone. To my surprise, there was a message from an unknown number already waiting for me.

'Did you really mean it when you said we could hang out if you-know-who got to be too much?'

I considered typing out a message immediately, but I returned my attention to Ms. Moonbow. "I converted more of your copper into wire like you asked," she explained, gesturing at everything she'd set down on the table. "I also got you the bits and bobs you asked for and even made you a little battery compartment for a gem!" She looked at the slate I set down. "Oooh, is that what you need it all for? What's this one do?"

With a smirk, I elbowed her. "Keeps the jinxies away," I intoned in a faux spooky voice. "For real though, you never know who or what might be magically eavesdropping. This'll keep super secret conversations actually secret." I started guiding her back to the exit, nabbing my harness and stylus from the bedside table. "Thanks a bunch, Izzy. I plan on making a few more for everyone else, too."

As we walked, I tapped out a quick response to Misty. 'I wouldn't offer if I didn't think you were a good pony.'

Izzy dug her hooves in as we got to the door, and gave me a half-lidded look. "Aren't you forgetting something?" she asked in a teasing voice. She reached up and booped my nose, before explaining, "I promised to feed you, remember?"

Author's Note

Next up, Anon goes on a 'date'? Wait, what?

I debated whether or not it was a good idea for Anon to blab to Misty, but really, if the girl sets off our bug's big-sister instincts, there's no way she wouldn't try to interfere in that way.

Just to explain the context of the magical oath/compulsion that Anon consented to:

Anon cannot reveal Opaline's existence before New Guardians learn about her.
Anon cannot take any action that would directly 'resolve' the Opaline situation before the group is ready to face her. Opaline is their stepping stone, not hers.
Anon is free to meddle in Opaline's plans and keep her weak or distracted.
The only escape clause that would allow Anon to directly intervene is if innocent lives are imperilled. This includes keeping the group alive, but the ~~Anon~~nuclear option is a last resort.

What this means is that while Anon cannot just go out and fix the Opaline problem, she would have full agency to interfere behind the scenes as she wishes. This includes arson, jaywalking, vandalism, and psychological warfare. It also means that Anon now has a very nice punching bag for those bad days.

Also, Changebug Queen [left cutie mark hidden].

Vlog 08: On Dating
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Vlogs of an Ancient Insect

Vlog 08: On Dating

"Hey guys," I greeted the phone's camera in a defeated voice. "It's your one and only changeling queen, Anonymous Flicker, coming to you live from Mane Street. You ever have one of those days that's going, like, super good, and then things just go from good to weird, and then to kinda depressing?" With a chuckle, I shook my head before sipping my iced coffee. "Yeah, it's been one of those days, ponies."

I held my phone out further from me to give the viewers a better look at my new appearance. "I hope you don't mind the new look too much," I continued with a smile. "A question somepony anonymously—ha—sent in recently reminded how deranged my natural form's mane was starting to look. As a result decided I needed to update my image a bit, both in and out of disguise."

Dramatically, I draped myself across the table and sighed. "Given the day I had, I figured maybe some Q&A would make me feel better." As I finished off my beverage and tossed it perfectly into a trash-bin a couple of metres away, I rolled onto my back, contorting myself in a way most ponies would find uncomfortable. Hell, one of the ponies who'd shown up to spy earlier was feeling so queasy that I could feel it from here. "Starting off with the question one that inspired this change in style, 'Have you ever considered working in modelling? If you can look like anypony or anything, then surely you'd be perfect for the job.'"

I giggled at the thought of me walking the runways modelling clothes. "I actually used to do a bit of that for Rarity in my teens, but it was always about promoting her work, not my appearance," I explained. "Sometimes a model she hired would end up getting sick, but the dresses being photographed for magazines were tailored for specific models. Well, when I was free, I helped her out, and her contracts all stipulated such. I didn't even mind only getting a portion, since it was their images being used. That said, it's not really my thing. I'm a pony of magic, not self-parade."

My ears flicked, and I rolled onto my side in a pose that would possibly be considered sensual. "Viewer Celeste asked, 'Hi Anon, I was wondering if it's any easier or harder to transform into something really small or really big? Also, if you transform and your disguise includes clothes, do the clothes materialize with your transformation, or are they part of your skin or something?'" I recited, fixing the camera with a smile. "As a little green creature from a movie back in my old world once said, 'Size matters not.' As long as I've got enough mass and energy stored, I can theoretically get as big as a fully-grown dragon before having issues sustaining myself. I could also easily become as small as a mouse, too, but, well... cats are a thing, y'know? It's not hard, just results in a lot of waste converting mass and either compacting it or expanding it and violating the laws of physics."

I rolled off the table and added wings to my form, quickly taking off into a low flight over the bay. "Clothes aren't easy because of all the threads of hair I need to create and have connected to me." When I drew close to the edge of the city, I banked around to take me around the perimeter "Wasteful. It's easier just to have something made ahead of time."

Eventually, my flight took me towards the Brighthouse. Nopony was up on the top deck, so nobody would care if I just landed on the roof of the gallery. "Last question's from that same anonymous viewer. Well, two questions," I said with a chuckle. "'How strong can alicorns get? Is Sunny Starscout a princess?' In my time, she might have claim to a crown if she fully ascended, but she seems to be in a state in between being a normal pony and ascension. Today? Well... If Queen Haven legally adopted her, maybe.

"As for power, let's just say that a fully realised alicorn, one with full connection to their aspect, can do some amazing and terrifying things." I perked an eyebrow at the camera and then glanced away. "I'll remind you that Celestia and Luna once controlled the sun and moon. Either was technically a single bad day away from killing all life on the planet. Y'know, nice happy stuff, that."

Shaking my head and chuckling at the terror that must've inspired, I finally said, "You wanna know what kind of day I had? It all started over a cup of coffee..."

~ 08 ~

"Well, that went well," I whispered to myself as I stepped out of Phyllis Cloverleaf's office. "All things told, she seemed nice." She didn't seem like a flaming racist, but looks could be deceiving. Maybe she was just nice because I was presenting in my earth pony mare appearance.

Canterlogic Publishing—a subsidiary of Canterlogic Inc., former provider for all things race-war—wouldn't have been my first choice in getting Your Magic and You published, but it was the only publisher in the region that would agree to strictly publishing it physically in the dimensions provided. Although I'd managed to get into contact with a publishing house in Bridlewood, they didn't have the capability to crank out lots of books. Similarly, when I'd been on the phone with a publisher up in Zephyr Heights, they were more interested in it being purely digital. Given how small screens were and how important it was for the unicorn portions to be viewed all at once in clear detail, that was a big deal-breaker for me.

Oh, to be sure, Phyllis was a shrewd businessmare, but she wasn't mean about it. I'm just glad she was willing to back down to a sixty forty split, down from fifty fifty. So long as ten of my sixty percent was going into a charity of our mutual agreement, she was happy to acquiesce. The way we both turned a profit beyond production costs, her company would boast the title of first publisher of true magic in centuries—thus repairing some of the damage recent events had done to the company's image—and I would get a decent royalty rate. Honestly, she probably could've taken more if she didn't like my charity idea so much.

As I walked through the halls of the small office building in my plain earth pony Anon skin, a pony who'd just opened a door stepped out into my path without looking. In spite of my size, which I kept a few centimetres shorter than the average mare, I tended to let a bit of extra mass put some weight behind my hooves when I was out and about in this form. It was a sort of safety measure in order to keep me from getting knocked over easily. As a result, when ponies bumped into me like this, it tended to be them who went for a tumble.

I glanced down at the floored pony. It was a familiar looking red stallion with a straw-blonde mane. Again, I was reminded of Big Macintosh, but this fella was way too scrawny. Plus, Mac didn't have white sock patterns in his coat. Actually, a lot of ponies seem to have socks these days, now that I think about it.

"Ugh, could you watch where you're going?" the pony on the floor whined, rubbing his muzzle. "I was walking there."

"Oh! It's you, Little Red," I exclaimed as I finally remembered where I'd seen him. He was Phyllis's little wannabe dictator, conjurer of giant glimmerberries and the dude I helped out just before the motel I was staying at burned down. When he started to glare at me, I smiled and reached out a hoof. "Sorry, that's Sprout Cloverleaf, right? C'mon, let's get you up."

Although strictly speaking, I would never be as strong as an earth pony back in the past, none of these ponies seemed to be passively buffing their strength by cycling their mana through their bodies. With increased muscle density in this form, I was on average half again as strong as your every day stallion here as a result. He seemed utterly baffled when I hauled him up to his hooves like it was nothing, which just made me giggle some more.

"Uh, t-thanks," he stammered. Oh boy, was he ever embarrassed. There was also a bit of emotion directed toward me from him that I wasn't completely sure of, which is kinda funny when I think about it—been a bug fifteen years on the old Equestrian calendar, so I should be an expert on that shit, right? "Anonymous Flicker, right?"

I nodded, quickly checking him over for any sort of injuries. Luckily, he didn't seem to bust his head open or break anything. Just a little bruised ego. "Yeah," I commented, slipping around him in the hallway. "Anyways, it was great seeing you, Sprout, but I gotta go. Catch you later!"

It took him until I was half-way down the hallway that took me to the lobby before I heard him speak. "Ms. Flicker, wait!" he called after me. "I, um, wanted to thank you for helping me that time... Do you think we could meet for coffee later?"

As I turned to face him, I considered for a moment. I was planning on going to Mane Melody to get my natural form a mane treatment with the signing bonus I'd gotten from his Mom, but I didn't exactly have anything pressing really keeping me from spending time with somepony new. "How's three hours from now at the coffee cart down from where Sunny usually opens up shop sound?"

The skinny-as-a-rake Big Macintosh wannabe nodded. "Then it's a date," he said as I trotted off.

~ 08 ~

You're probably thinking to yourself, 'Anon, you're a changeling, and you can make every single thing about you perfect; why do you need such things as mane treatments and hooficures? The simple fact of the matter is that even though, technically speaking, I'm breaking down everything to unshaped mass and energy when I transform out of my natural form, I am basically writing to memory my basic attributes and things like mane style, colouration and texture so that those things snap back when I revert. If I get a mane treatment or hooficure things look just as good when I revert after it's saved to memory, even if it was sans any of the lingering chemicals.

Sure, I can force changes that can persist through transformations—such as making my mane rainbow or turning my forelimbs into scythes—but I don't like to do that too much. A few years after I became a changeling, when I finally felt I could talk to a certain creepy changeling doctor without panicking, it was explained to me that although I could do such things, major changes like my forelimbs could result in permanent changes or damage to something called a 'morphic resonance'. It's the main reason I never play with my eyes in my natural shape. Must resist the urge to become a formless terror and sing in ungodly tongues beneath Opaline's windows at night.

So anyway... I was going to Mane Melody in my natural state to get my mane treated and styled now that it had grown back on its own. Really, it'd grown out way more than I intended, and I found that I looked something like a dishevelled Karen. Proper care needed to be taken to maintain my fucking regal looks, y'know? On with the story.

The bell above the door rang out as I pushed the door open. It was kinda surprising that Pipp wasn't in, since it was her joint and all, but no matter. Jazz Hooves and Rocky Riff were free, and it didn't look to be too busy. "Jazz, Rocky," I trilled in my creepy bug-queen voice, which I loved so much because it made ponies squirm. "Just the two ponies I was hoping to see."

"I can see why," the pegasus stallion commented with a bit of sass as I walked over to an empty chair by one of the basins. "Full treatment and styling? Or just making it more manageable?"

With a shrug, I rolled my shoulders. "I definitely need a treatment and styling, but I'm not sure if I have enough time for anything more than a touch-up," I explained. "I'm meeting with somepony for coffee in two and a half hours, and I don't wanna be tardy."

The two shared a look, before grinning at one another. "Two hours is more than enough time, girl," he trilled in a sing-songy voice. "By the time we're done, you're gonna be lookin' fleek."

I have no idea what that means.

As Rocky started filling the mane-wash basin and preemptively rinsing my mane, Jazz seemed to be consulting a screen of some sort. "Is there anything you're looking for in particular?" she glanced over and asked. "Something straight, something wavy, or perhaps something regal? For that matter, would you like us to touch up your tail while we're at it?"

That was a good question. "Something simple, I think... A style that can look good in any of my disguises and goes well in this green—" I quickly focused on changing the colour of my mane, and rocky let out a startled yelp as the magical blue flames ran up my mane. "—or this black. I want it to look good in any of my forms, y'know? Maybe something like Izzy's style, but with a side plait?" At that, I returned my mane to its natural green colour. "Oh, and if you use all natural ingredients, my transformation'll keep the effects better."

The pair shared another look before nodding down at me. "I think we can definitely manage that." Rocky spoke with confidence, quickly going over to a shelf to fetch some product for my mane. "By the time we're done with you, you'll wonder how you lived looking any other way."

As her compatriot quietly got to work, Jazz stuck by to chat me up. I couldn't see her face, but based on the vibe she was giving off, she was quite pleased with herself as she spoke. "So, you want to look good in your pony disguises," she said casually, trying and failing to mask that she was aiming for something specific. "They know that you're a shape-shifter?"

I nodded. "Some ponies still aren't used to the other tribes being together," I explained. I couldn't quite mask the happy sigh as the pegasus stallion's hooves massaged the softer chitin serving as my scalp. "Never mind a tall creepy changebug who totally didn't inspire the Slender-mane urban myth way back when. He's seen me flitting about when I'm a pegasus, as well as au naturel, but I only like making ponies uncomfortable when I'm feeling mischievous, y'know?"

Since he was standing above me, I could see when Rocky nodded, a smile creasing his cream coloured face. "That's quite considerate, and I'm sure he'll be appreciative of it." He looked over to his companion with quirked eyebrow. "If you're going to be wearing those glasses of yours, the quiet librarian look will definitely put him at ease. Don't you think, Jazz?"

I ignored the for sure, and instead focused on not falling asleep to his gentle ministrations. Before I could be put under by his gentle touch, however, I was pulled upright and dragged over to one of the styling chairs, where I was assaulted with hair dryers. My mane was dry in no time, and then the fiery-maned stylist was a blur of scissors and brushes.

Meanwhile, Jazz seemed to be considering something. In fact, she seemed to be staring at the protective bit of shell under which I kept my insect wings folded. After a few moments, she popped out to a back room, and returned with a box. "What do you say to getting a hooficure and we bump it up to a package deal?" She glanced at my 'hooves', which in my natural form were just extensions of my limbs, rather than protective deposits of keratin like pony hooves were. "After you transform I mean."

It was something I had to consider for a moment. It wasn't something I typically indulged in. Growing up, I always just did colourations myself if I wanted my hooves to look nice, but for the most part I never bothered. That said, I'd noticed hooves had become a lot more culturally relevant, especially among the tribes. Maybe it was the extended period of time without magic, but it'd become a matter of pride for today's ponies. Eventually, I agreed.

Once my mane was all set, and they pulled it into a side plait with a white bow, Jazz led me over to something like a chaise that I could lie on while she did my hooves and Rocky tidied up my tail. When I transformed for her, I decided to throw a sock pattern into my coat, making my legs fade from green to black like my pony form's mane.

Of course, they seemed to take issue with my unshorn fetlocks. I guess the Clydesdale look went out of style some time ago, so before my hooves even got a treatment, I ended up getting a fetlock trim. Then of course, out came the polish and my surprise. See, I guess when Rocky was styling my mane, she was trying to gauge the iridescent colour of my elytra. The colour she put on my hooves was a near perfect match. I actually quite liked the way it looked, too, so maybe it would be something I could treat myself to in my natural form from time to time, even without 'real' hooves.

Finally, they led me over to a full-length mirror and I got a good look at myself. The 'quiet librarian' look was definitely a good description. The black sock look would definitely be something I continued to use as well, and even the iridescent blue hoof-polish didn't look too bad. If I'd taken my pegasus form, honestly it might've reminded me a lot more of Emerald Breeze, my little sister's original mother. Either way, I found myself enraptured by my appearance. The pair also seemed quite satisfied with their work, because without warning, the earth pony mare snapped a picture of me with a smirk.

As I paid the ponies for their work, they gave each other a sly look. Together as one, the pair called out, "Go get him, girl!" and waved goodbye.

~ 08 ~

When I trotted up to the coffee cart, the clock on my phone said that I was a few minutes early. That said, it appeared Sprout was already here waiting for me at the end of the line for the cart. What struck me as odd was that he was wearing one of those white dress shirt-like collars, complete with a black tie, and his mane looked like it'd been styled into a pompadour. Couldn't explain for the life of me why he was doing that. In fact, I always thought that bit of pony fashion was weird.

He was also kinda nervous, based on the anxiety coming off of him. Well, that and he nearly leapt out of his skin when I called out to him. "I didn't keep you waiting too long, did I?" I asked, putting away my phone. "The ponies at Mane Melody do good work, but I'm sure Jazzy will tell you, 'You can't rush perfection.'"

It was hard to tell given how red his coat was, but I thought I might've caught sight of a slight blush. There was that weird emotion again, too. "You, uh, you look different," he stammered. Quickly, as though he thought he said something insensitive, he backtracked. "N-not that it's a bad thing. You look nice. Maybe a bit intimidating with how well muscled you are, but they look suits you."

This is kinda weird... Why's he being so skittish? Things went quiet as we waited in line. Eventually it came our turns to order. He ordered just a black coffee, but I went with an iced coffee with chocolate milk and an unhealthy amount of sugar. Then we actually got into a short argument over who was paying. Apparently, both of us were channelling a little Rarity generosity today.

When our drinks were ready, we took a seat at one of the tables. Rather than being directly across from one another, he was to my right. This let me recline on my manicured left forehoof when I spoke. "So how's the community service going?" I asked, genuinely curious. "Anypony giving you trouble? Or are you proving that you're changing your ways?"

He shrugged, taking a big sip of his coffee. "Nopony's giving me grief over the whole angry mob thing anymore," he responded after a moment's thought. "As long as the town council keeps finding public works projects for me to work off my punishment, I could be free before Winter Wishday."

I smiled, earning a sheepish grin from the stallion. "Good for you," I said in a soft voice. "If you wanna really help your image, start hanging around with ponies of the other tribes like Sunny did. It can be hard to get past your biases, but you've probably seen how happy Pipp, Zipp, Izzy, and the recent addition to her social group, Misty, make her. That could be you with a little work."

To my surprise, I felt a little pride welling up in his aura. "You think so?" When I nodded, his sheepish smile grew into a more confident one. "Thanks, Anon."

What is this emotion he's directing at me? I feel like I should be recognising it, but it's nothing that's been directed at me before. That scares me, because I'm not used to not understanding what others are feeling.

"Mind if I ask you a question?" he asked, seemingly not realising the sarcastic response he could've earned. I quirked an eyebrow and tilted my head slightly, setting my drink down and motioning him to continue. "You can look like anything or anypony, right? You could make yourself slender and sexy like a supermodel, but instead you choose a well-toned athletic body. How do you decide?"

Not the sort of question I was expecting. "Standard of beauty changes over time," I answered with a shrug. "Most earth ponies I knew back then were fairly muscular and sturdily built, even if their professions weren't in the Equestrian Royal Guard or farming. This is how I probably would have looked if I continued to share a body with my little sister." With a bit of a giggle, I gestured at him with my free hoof. "Honestly, it's weird to me seeing earth ponies so—I don't mean to be offensive—scrawny."

At the outrage playing out on his face, I knew I had to quickly clarify. "It's not anything that you have any control over. I've noticed that none of today's earth ponies circulate the magic in their bodies passively, making you on par with unicorns and pegasi in terms of strength and muscle density." I shrugged and picked up my beverage and took a big sip. "Once ponies start becoming more conscious of their innate magics, a lot of earth ponies are gonna go through something of a second puberty and get super swole. Especially those in agriculture."

That got his attention real quick. "Magic makes ponies muscular?" He sounded incredulous. "How's that even work?"

I went into a short explanation of how a pony's magic flows throughout their bodies. It wasn't always a conscious effort to do it, but it could become as natural as breathing. Magic flowed through our bodies like lifeblood through metaphysical blood vessels, encouraging muscle growth, and speeding up recovery. It could even amplify strength. Pulling one of those tram cars going around town would be child's play for an earth pony.

Was it potentially a bad thing giving a former racist despot tips about using magic to get fucking ripped? Probably. But it was nice to see an earth pony other than Sunny showing an interest in magic. Plus, he'd probably attract a lot more positive attention if he put some meat on his bones. He wasn't bad looking.

"Could you show me?" asked Sprout with an eager glint in his eye.

It was hard not to smirk. "I can give you some nudges in the right direction, but if I tell you everything, nopony will buy the book your mother's gonna be publishing for me," I snarked before sitting up and reaching my left forehoof towards him. "Hold your hoof up against mine—frog to frog."

When he did so, I started to instruct him. "Shut your eyes and be mindful of what you feel," I commanded. Carefully, I started to extend my mana out through my forehoof and into his. "You might feel a sort of pressure, maybe some sort of foreign presence. This is my personal magic."

It took him a moment before he nodded, noting how tingly it made his hoof feel. "Now, I'm going to pull back my magic, and yours is going to rush in to replace it." I did exactly that, and then waited. When he grunted, I repeated the process. "Can you feel it, like an extra muscle?"

He nodded, beginning to smile. "Good, now instead of me stirring up your magic, I want you to try and flex your magic and press into mine." Even as he puzzled out how to do it, I sipped at my drink. I could feel a slight buzzing in my hoof, but he probably couldn't exert near the amount of fine control I could. "Good, now instead of pushing against my hoof, I want you to picture a channel going up your leg and into your chest. Try and follow that up to your reservoir. It should feel roughly where your heart's located. Don't pull it in and hold it, though. Just follow it up, and then let it flow."

We sat there for a few minutes, his hoof held against mine. Finally, he let out a gasp and whispered, "I feel it."

Finally. I pulled my hoof back and returned to propping up my chin with it. "There's the first step, Red," I explained. "You either gotta get the book, or experiment yourself to figure out how to excite the magic inside you and increase your mana flow."

He was radiating gratitude, excitement, and yet more of that strange emotion. There was also a moment of self doubt and a bit of disgust at both himself and me.

"Can you close your eyes, for a moment now?" he asked. "I wanna give you something as thanks, but..."

Again, I quirked my eyebrow, but I did as he asked. Screwing my eyes shut, I waited in silence. His anxiety was skyrocketing, but I could hear him moving, and he felt closer to me. I could even smell some sort of cologne on him now that he was so close.

"Oh for hoofness sake, just kiss her already!" I heard somepony shout—somepony who sounded a lot like a certain Princess Pipp Petals. But who's getting kissed?

It hit me right then, about the same time I felt him grab my cheeks and press his lips into mine. That feeling that I was having a hard time identifying? It was an emotion I'd seen shared between ponies a lot, but the fact that it was being directed at me was what made it so strange. Nopony's ever been attracted to me before... Why is this goof attracted to me?

My eyes slammed open, and before I even realised what I was doing, I'd grabbed his hoof with both of mine, and threw him over the table with a panicked shout. "Dude, what the fuck?" I screamed. "I thought this was just getting coffee! Where do you get off stealing my first kiss? Yeah, you're cute, but you're not my type!"

As I started spitting on the ground and trying to wipe off my mouth with my forelegs, he slowly pulled himself up the side of the table. "But... You were being super nice despite me being a screw-up, and you went through all that to hold my hoof..." He looked kind of woozy, and very confused. "You even gave me a nickname."

I shot a glare up the street to where I saw a bewildered looking Pipp, Rocky Riff, and Jazz Hooves peering around a building's corner. "I give everyone I meet nicknames. I called Princess Celestia the Sun Horse for a long-ass time." Turning my gaze back to him, I softened my voice. "You were interested in learning about earth pony magic and I ran you through an exercise."

He winced and started backing away. "I, uh, I think I misread some signals," he stammered, backing away. "You didn't treat me with revulsion, you helped me twice, and then you got all made up nice for the date."

"I thought that was a turn of phrase, not a statement of intent!" I hissed, making eye contact. Taking a deep breath, I steadied myself. "If you're gonna ask somepony out on a date, make sure they know it's a date before trying anything. Sweet Celestia..." I shook my head, before whispering to myself. "No, don't get mad at him... He's just a big doofus. It wasn't malice, and he's not like them."

He probably thought I was crazy now, because he stagger-ran down the street, not looking back. Ooops. I think I concussed him. "Sorry about the concussion!" I called after him. "I don't like you that way, but I'm fine being friends."

~ 08 ~

"... So I guess what I'm trying to say is, if you ask someone out on a date, make sure that they know it's a date and consent to being on a date before kissing them," I said to the camera. "You never know who is gonna have a negative reaction to randomly being kissed. If you're watching this, Sprout, I'm sorry again." Pulling the phone against my chest tuft, I murmured, "This is your very freaked out queen, signing off."

I debated going down into the house to question Pipp about what the hell that was about earlier, but at the same time, I didn't really feel like taking out my frustrations on her, or really anyone in the household. Even Hitch didn't deserve my enmity... mostly because he was completely uninvolved in today's shenanigans. Taking it out on my friends would not make me feel better.

The only ponies I really had to blame for any of this were Sprout, for somehow mistaking being a decent pony for interest, and me for not realising and clearing up any misunderstandings ahead of time. Given that he'd already gotten punishment far in excess of what I'd done, the only pony I could really take it out on was myself...

Why did I panic so bad and throw him, though? I wondered, putting my phone away and just staring up at the sky. Therapy helped me get past all of the stuff I inherited from Emerald, as well as all the stuff in my old, human life that I did to get by. For that matter, why was I so upset about my 'first kiss'? Gah, I've been ruined by sappy romance manega.

As I stared off to the west, an idea struck me. There was one other pony I could blame for this whole damn mess. She'd been responsible for the world going to shit, everything beginning to fall apart, and me having to get stuffed in a time capsule in order to survive what would have been absolutely poisonous emotional turmoil blanketing the nation. I might not be able to directly interfere in her plans, but Mom's oath said absolutely nothing about tormenting her.

I'm gonna need that blunt I was saving, spray paint, glitter, cling wrap, paper, permanent marker, some nails, and super glue... Guess I'm gonna have to pay Izzy back for some stuff.

~ Opaline's Castle, Two A.M. ~

Sleep was a very important facet of Opaline Arcana's evilly mundane life. An alicorn deprived of most of her magic couldn't have a good day unless she got the bare minimum of eight hours of uninterrupted sleep. Very little ever got in the way of her quite enjoyable dreams of regaining her power and conquering all of the world. That said, there were a few things that could wake even her from such joyous dreams. Being shaken awake, loud noises, and the sensation of being watched were chief among these things.

It was that last item on the list which drug the fire alicorn out of her beauty sleep with a feeling of absolute dread. Letting out a cry of terror and rage, she sat bolt upright and tore the sleep mask from her eyes. Even as she turned on the lights, her eyes were sweeping every lingering shadow for some sign of who had been watching her. Unfortunately, nothing nor anypony was there.

That was not to say that her room was left unchanged from how it had been from when she had been sleeping. The first out-of-place thing she noticed was that every panting in her room was crooked or straight up inverted. There was also the matter of every square centimetre of her room being dusted with glitter save for a large circular patch directly beside her bed. Finally, there was a piece of paper nailed to the inside of her bedroom door. How does anypony even nail something in so quietly!?

Sup, bitch?

I had a really shitty day, so guess what. Since you're the reason the whole world ended up this way, that means my shitty day is your problem too. I did you the favour of redecorating, and leaving you a few presents. Enjoy!

With the hate of a thousand burning suns,
Anonymous Flicker

P.S. I know where you sleep.
P.P.S. Treat your spy better.
P.P.P.S. Did you know it's really hard to do magic when you're high?
P.P.P.P.S. I think a racoonicorn got in while I was improving your throne room. Dunno where it went.
P.P.P.P.P.S. If you ever want to hate-fuck, hit me up. Just kidding... unless...?

Opaline scowled, as she trudged through the glitter on the floor over to the nearest painting. She tried to right it, but to her horror, it was stuck. Upon closer examination, it appeared as though the edges of the frame had been glued to the wall. In fact, every picture frame appeared stuck to the wall the exact same way.

She wanted to scream right then and there, but it occurred to the elderly alicorn that she might wish to save her voice. The insect had mentioned improving her throne room... If the changeling knew where she lived and where she slept, then it was quite possible that she'd left behind several cunning and deadly traps. Anonymous Flicker was toying with her, and she was making it known that she was toying with her.

Immediately, upon stepping out into the hall, the mare was filled with regret. It was bad enough just having paintings crooked... Now, not only were they crooked, but they were also defaced with marker—unflattering moustaches and monocles, mostly. Some of her paintings were just straight up moved to the ceiling. Moving down the hall was giving her such a migraine.

Let's just get this over with, she thought the moment before her hooves went out from under her. Opaline soon found herself sliding down the hall on her belly on a very fine sheet of ice. Worse, this hall opened up directly to the ramp down into her throne room, and there appeared to be no end to the ice. With a terrified yowl, she found herself shooting down the ramp at high speed, only to hit an incline that shouldn't have been there. Moments after catapulting through the air, she splashed down in the viewing pool, staring up at the ceiling.

"DAMN YOU, ANONYMOUS FLICKER!" she screamed. Directly above her, on the ceiling, Twilight Sparkle's cutie mark was spray painted. It took up damn near the entire ceiling, and to her horror, there were several empty spray paint cans just littering the floor.

Something flickered in her peripheral vision, and what sounded like two voices speaking at once rang out. "Congratulations, Opaline!" the voice said cheerfully. "You said the secret code phrase and unlocked a cool <>!"

When she looked in the direction of the voice, she was surprised to see that her throne was missing entirely. In it's place, a transparent Anon was doing a strange dance with a rather mocking expression plastered on her face. The bug was just swaying and rocking from side to side on all fours, her pristine insect wings spread wide. On one side, her legs would be extended straight out, while the others would be bent, and then she'd reverse it, causing her mane, tail, and head to bob back and forth. The worst part was the awful discordant music that seemed to be coming from nowhere.

With a shake of her head, the fire alicorn tore her eyes from the strangely hypnotic display and searched the room for some sign of her missing throne. On the wall behind the mocking illusion, she spotted a piece of paper once again nailed in to her wall. Why couldn't she just use a sticky note like a normal pony?

You might not wanna be standing in front of this paper. I'm not currently out to kill you, but I also have no idea if that super glue's actually gonna hold your throne when the anti-gravity spell cuts out. Izzy said this was some premium shit, but I figure I'd be nice and warn you... Watch out for falling thrones.
Anon

Slowly, Opaline Arcana looked up. There, sitting directly above its original resting place, was her massive stone throne. Upside down. "It's official," she muttered to herself as she officially gave up and returned to her room. "Twilight Sparkle has sent a psychopath to torture me."

Once she was through her bedroom door, she pulled on her comfy fluffy slippers and a bathrobe and excused herself to her en suite bathroom. She did her best to dry off and remove what glitter hadn't washed off in the viewing pool. It was a futile affair, to be sure. Glitter was impossible to get rid of completely.

Finally, she opted to tend to certain needs while she was there, and graced the porcelain throne. She was just so tired and done with everything, and the day hadn't even begun yet. "Why do my slippers suddenly feel wet?" As she rose from the throne, something caught her sight—light reflecting off a wet, yet transparent layer of plastic wrap covering the entire aperture. Opaline looked down at her hooves, and screamed with impotent rage.

Author's Note

Yes, Opaline has now been stickbugged by a changeling queen.

Not its usual T.U.E.S.day time slot, but I'm genuinely excited to present this one.

Vlog 09: On Making Music and Food
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Vlogs of an Ancient Insect

Vlog 09: On Making Music and Food

After her utter failure yesterday in bringing Opaline the Hope Lantern, Misty was feeling rather down in the dumps. Ever since Anon had invaded the castle to inflict a slew of absolutely ridiculous and somewhat childish pranks, her dark mistress had been in an extremely foul mood. The throne had been up there for nearly a week by this point, and there was still no indication that it was coming down. The only bright side was that she didn't force the clean-up upon her.

Worse still, Opaline had redirected her interest away from stealing the magical artefact belonging to Sunny Starscout, in favour of Hitch's baby dragon. It was one thing to steal an object, but could she really bring herself to steal an infant from its adoptive parent? Would I even be having such doubts if I hadn't spoken to Anon? What if she's right and I'm just being used?

Glancing at her phone, Misty bit her lip. She said she believes I'm a good pony, and that I could hang out with her if things got to be too much, she thought to herself. Hanging out with the changeling might help improve her mood, and it might even help de-stress Anon too, if her last video and the resulting home invasion were any indicator. Opaline would be so upset with her if she went out and came back with nothing... but they were running low on groceries again.

Without a second thought, she pulled over her phone. Her plan was to send the changeling a text message and then meet up with her. When she turned on the screen, however, she found a notification that Anon had released a new video on her channel. Immediately, she opened the app and found that the video was set on the stage in the Mane Melody salon.

"Good morning, Pippsqueaks!" Princess Pipp Petals pranced into view from behind the curtain. It caught the unicorn off guard, and she found herself checking to make sure it was the right channel. A moment later, she noticed that Pipp wasn't wearing her usual accoutrements, or even any sort of wing glitter. "A lot of you are probably asking yourselves, 'Wait, why is Pipp streaming on Anon's channel? Did they accidentally switch phones or something?'" She giggled, and then flew a little pirouette on the spot. "Well, ask yourselves no longer!"

From off-stage came another instance of Pipp's voice. "Anon, you said we weren't going to start with that bit!" The real Princess Pipp stepped up onto the stage and joined the imitation. "You promised!"

Anon, not shedding her disguise as the purple pegasus, fluttered her eyelashes at her friend. "Girl, you're lucky I'm not taking revenge for that whole 'Just kiss her already!' thing," she shot back in a flirty tone. "Imagine if I just went and slipped you the tongue on camera to get even... Imagine the scandal~!"

The princess' cheeks went scarlet, and she looked away. "I said I was sorry," was her frustrated response. "Besides, that's not why we're here."

With a nod, Anon looked back at the camera. "The Princess of Pop is right, that's not why we're here." When Pipp strayed too close to the impostor, the shape-shifting fiend reached over and dragged her into a wither to wither position. "We're here to talk about music."

The princess beamed at the camera. "You know it, gurl!" She draped one of her big fluffy wings over Anon's back and held up a remote. With the press of a button, a TV screen descended behind them. "Yesterday, I had a huge boost of inspiration, and recorded a new song."

It was Anon's turn to grin. "Back before I officially moved in to the Brighthouse, I was borrowing their shower," she explained with a shake of her head. "I may or may not have been singing one of her songs... In her voice."

With a giggle and an elbow nudge, she helpfully offered up, "It was the Pony Hip-Hop. And it got me thinking, recording harmonies can be a bit of a pain, and since she could perfectly replicate my singing voice from memory, I figured why not have her lend a helping hoof?"

With a cackle, Anon switched back to her own voice, but there was something off about it. "Boy, was she surprised when she found out I could do post-processing effects like auto-tune in real time." Pipp didn't even flinch when the changeling took on her pegasus form. In a sing-song voice, she sang, "Don't stop; make it pop! DJ, blow my speakers up! Tonight, I'ma fight 'til we see the sunlight! Tick-tock on the clock, but the party won't stop, no..."

With a surprised blink, the royal looked at her friend. "We'll have to talk about getting that song recorded later," she said in an even, slightly jealous voice, "but for now, introducing, 'Where'd It Go, featuring Anonymous Flicker.'"

On the screen behind them, a music video began to play. A moment later it flawlessly cut to full screen thirty second quickie music video featuring Princess Pipp and her three fanfilly Pippsqueaks acting out the solving of a mystery. The foals themselves were chanting "Oh, oh, where'd it go?" throughout.

Misty actually couldn't hear Anon singing at all at first. It was just Pipp singing, "Here we go, here we go~! We're not gonna stop 'til we find what we're missin'!" It wasn't until she listened closer that she realised there were actually two instances of the voice singing as one. "Where'd it go? Where'd it go? A perfect case for a private eye... I'm searching far and wide... So here we go, here we go! We're not gonna stop 'til we find what we're missin'!"

Despite the song being clearly based on a caper caused by her failure the previous day, she couldn't deny that it was catchy. She also knew from... research that when Pipp released a short like the one just shown on Anon's show, there would be a full digital release up within a day. Although Misty didn't get much spending money, she didn't mind showing some support of her... friends? Did she actually consider them all friends, or was it just a way she was making herself think in order to get Opaline's jobs done?

When the screen cut back to the view of Mane Melody, Anon and Pipp were lying on cushions on the stage. "So Anon, were you always musically talented?" Pipp asked, crossing her forehooves in front of her. "Or did you have to practice?"

The green and black pegasus-shaped changeling seemed to think about that. "I had... other skills in my first life, but when I became a pony, I started to appreciate the magic of song." There was a nostalgic look on her face when she spoke. "Music was super important in old Equestria, and all ponies had some degree of musical talent. I think it was the harmony magic to tell the truth. I don't have that in me anymore, but being a bug has its benefits.

"Part of being able to mimic voices and shapeshift is having complete control over my vocal folds," was how she explained it. "If I hear a voice, I can reproduce it. I suppose it does mean I have absolute pitch."

Pipp seemed to balk at the idea, and even Misty had to agree that seemed surprising. From everything Anon had told them with her blog, her talent was magic, not music, yet she was basically telling them now that she had most of the things needed to be a musical superstar. The only things she'd be missing would be passion and lyrical skill.

Just as Pipp seemed to be getting over Anon's claim, from off camera came the voice of the earth pony stylist. "Oh! Do you play any instruments?"

With a nod, Anon said quickly, "Piano, but it's been a while. I imagine my grand piano got destroyed with the Castle of Friendship."

Next came the pegasus stallion's voice. Rocky isn't it? "Did they have karaoke back in old Equestria?"

Misty wasn't sure if anypony in the salon there actually caught it, but there was a subtle glitch in the changeling's disguise. At first, she thought maybe the light had dimmed slightly, because Anonymous' appearance went a shade darker, and her eyes somewhat less lively. She even caught the tightening of her jaw.

Sucking in a deep breath, the bug queen shook her head and the brightness returned to her coat. "Although I occasionally went through a magic mirror to an alternate reality to go to karaoke bars with a friend by the name Sunset Shimmer when I was old enough to drink, we didn't have it in Equestria." She looked momentarily sad. "It took way too long for me to even be able to think about karaoke without being reminded of things I had to do to survive in my first life."

It was quite obvious as they diverted into discussing Anon's new look that much of the remaining time slot was dedicated to advertising Mane Melody and the princess's new song. Although she'd contemplated changing up her image, it wasn't anything urgent, and she wasn't even sure she'd be welcome in Pipp's salon much longer. Eventually they would all find out that she'd been deceiving them...

Instead, she closed the video app and switched over to the messenger. She stared down at the only text exchange she'd had with Anon since the night of the sleepover. Despite everything, she still felt conflicted. The changeling seemed genuine with everything she said, but she'd been clearly trying to turn her against Opaline. The worst part was that she couldn't bring herself to ask the alicorn what she'd done to earn the changeling's enmity, because she was scared that Opaline would verify something Anon had said.

'Did you really mean it when you said we could hang out if you-know-who got to be too much?'

'I wouldn't offer if I didn't think you were a good pony.'

It didn't seem like the sort of thing somepony would say to a pony they were lying to. Misty certainly wasn't confident she could sell it like Anon. Should I ask her to teach me how to lie? She shook her head. The bug would see right through it if she asked something that would quite clearly benefit Opaline.

'Anon, are you free? I kinda wanna get out and do something, and *she* is kinda mad at me. She's also super sore about cleaning up what you did the last time you were here.'

'I was thinking about flying out to Bridlewood or Zephyr Heights to do some shopping ahead of Nightmare Night, but I can put that on hold for you.'

'You want me to swing by and pick you up, or...?'

'If it's alright with you, I'll walk; you-know-who will lose her mind if she sees you after what you did.'

'Fair.'

~ 09 ~

You know, it's funny. Even though I'm a changeling, and can't mimic the pegasus weather control abilities, the latent cloud-walking ability that helps blend in allows me a limited ability to shape clouds. As a result, it takes me almost no effort to carve off a sizeable chunk of wild cloud and manoeuvre it down to tree level at the edge of town.

Sure, there were lots of pegasi coming by to check it out, but none were ballsy enough to challenge me for access to my perch. If they were really that interested in checking out what it feels like to stand on clouds, they could fly up high and nab some of their own... Or learn how to make their own fucking clouds. Point is this fucker's mine.

I'm sure Hitch was already looking for some sort of rule to get mad at me over for having this cloud. Too bad for him, I actually checked all the ordinances beforehoof. He would have to twist definitions. I had nothing to worry about at this time.

Not that he was actually looking for reasons to fine me. I think it was just the way I flagrantly did things that were outside his expectations that he found antagonistic. I was actually looking forward to joining in with the Nightmare Night celebrations with him and the rest of them, and the last thing I wanted to do was make things awkward.

I saw Misty long before she saw me, just trotting along with some old saddlebags draped over her back. Unlike a lot of ponies in and around the bay, she didn't seem to notice a large, low-hanging cloud. After all, she clearly wasn't raised with the eyes on the skies propaganda the locals here were. In fact, the poor girl didn't realise I was there until I brought my cloud down to the ground beside her.

"Heya, Misty!" I chirped, hopping down beside her. I barely even registered the terrified squeak from her, but it didn't take her long to get herself under control. "So how bad did you-know-who react to my chaos?"

A sad look crossed her face, and she shuffled her hooves. "I don't know if she's more upset about the paintings, the glitter, what you did to her throne, or whatever it was you did that she refused to speak of."

It brought a smile to my face, and I contemplated dangling that knowledge. That said, I noticed that she had that necklace that allowed her to speak to her dark lady. Old bitch needs to get with the times. Nopony uses magical relics to communicate anymore.

"You ever wanted to try flying?" I asked instead, patting the cloud. "I may not know the flutterwing spell off the top of my head, but I used to take Emerald to Cloudsdale for shopping trips all the time. I know Cloud Walking and Slow Fall like the back of my hoof."

The unicorn looked from me to the cloud. She took a hesitant step back, her ears and tail flicking. "I don't know, Anon..." Why do you radiate guilt? It's not like you gotta. "Can I take a rain check on this one?"

I just nodded. "Sure thing," I responded. As we started to walk away, I transformed away my wings and called out to all the nearby pegasi. "Alright winged ponies, the cloud's all yours."

All those ponies were on the cloud like flies on shit. Even little Glory and her Pippsqueak friends Seashell and Peach Fizz rushed over. Nothing funnier than seeing unicorn and earth pony foals trying to jump on a cloud, only to drop right through it. Couldn't quite suppress a cackle, and even my friend saw a bit of humour in it.

I glanced at her as we strolled into town, eyeing up the saddlebags. "Got shopping on the mind?" I couldn't help but ask. When she nervously nodded, I continued. "You wanna get that out of the way with now? Or would you rather wait until you're ready to head home?"

The young mare seemed to consider that. When she saw Zipp flying over us, she seemed to rethink her phrasing. "My... roommate has been stress-eating lately," she said in a slightly accusatory, yet playful tone. That got an innocent whistle out of me. "I figured we could get some basics and then do something fun."

While we walked, we chatted some basic shit. For one, she was complimenting me on my reinvented appearance. I casually asked her if she'd ever considered changing up her mane at all. She looked kinda upset by that, and I found myself having to clarify what I meant. Instead of voicing it, however, I decided to transform into a mirror of her appearance. Her usual curls remained, but instead of her usual aquamarine streaks, I added in a gradient, going from the indigo end of the spectrum to amaranth as it got closer to the tips.

In the end, she didn't say yes or no to change, but it seemed to improve her mood. Maybe it was the fact that ponies were glancing at the 'twins' causally making their way up the road. Hitch actually passed us by at one point and Misty tensed, but seemed to relax when she noticed Sparky wasn't with him. Funny enough, he actually thought that I was the real Misty.

One of the flower salesmares, an earth pony named Posey, even waved at us. Kinda interesting, since Posey has a bit of a reputation for being kind of... catty. Honestly, I think she's just the type that gets overwhelmed easily and lashes out. A bit vain, but then, who isn't prone to vanity?

When we got to the grocery store, I was kinda surprised to see just how much canned goods, junk food, and generally non-perishable food she was adding to her basket. Given the way she was eyeing up the TV dinners, someone might even get the impression that she couldn't cook, nor could Opaline. Given that I was convinced that the alicorn sustained herself off the tears of orphans, it wouldn't surprise me if she couldn't.

"You know, I'm sure if you asked, Sunny would be more than happy to teach you a thing or two in the kitchen," was my unprompted comment as she grabbed a bottle of salt and a bottle of pepper. "Or, I could come over and show you one of the recipes I learned from Spike and Pinkie. Celestia knows, neither of you have probably had a good home-cooked meal."

She seemed unsure of my offer. "What kind of recipes?" asked Misty as she watched me transition over to my unicorn disguise. It didn't help when I levitated over a basket and started collecting a bunch of seemingly random ingredients—tomatoes, garlic, onion, and various herbs and spices. Oh, and black beans. "And would it really be okay—feeding her if you two hate each other?"

I paused, realising that I had just casually offered to make food for my not-so-mortal enemy. A smirk slowly spread across my face as a thought crossed my mind. Kill'em with kindness... Making food for my enemy will show how generous I am. Not poisoning then will show my honesty, as well as my loyalty to my unicorn friend. Plus, the thought of Opaline biting into my food—maybe even enjoying it—before Misty pulls the rug out from underneath her was hilarious.

"Even if I'm not a creature of Harmony, I was still raised to hold the tenets the Elements represent in high regard," I casually responded as I collected up flour, vanilla, sugar, icing sugar, milk, shredded cheese, cupcake liners, and eggs. Finally, I collected up a box of oven-ready lasagna noodles. "Magic's my chief affinity, but I'm generous enough to make a casserole for you."

~ 09 ~

"I can't believe you convinced me to bring you back here," Misty commented as she set her saddlebags down in the castle's kitchen/pantry area. I did the same and immediately started poking around for cooking implements and bakeware. "So what's all that other stuff for?"

God, when's the last time some of this has seen use? I thought as I levitated out some mixing bowls, a saucepan, and even a couple of cupcake tins. I immediately got to work washing and de-rusting them. "Cupcakes!" I exclaimed in the voice of the first pony I ever threw. "What kind of loco-in-the-coco pony do you take me for?" That elicited a giggle from my young friend. "Meals without desserts are a crime against everything tasty!"

Once everything was cleaned and dried, I turned to her. "Watch and learn, filly," I teased, pulling an apron and a mane-net out of nowhere. Okay, it wasn't actually nowhere, since I'm not actually a certain reality defying earth pony. It was in my magic storage. "Auntie Pinkie taught me to bake cupcakes with a little song. Would you like to hear when it's time to start?"

To my surprise, she actually nodded. So it was that I set about getting a marinara sauce simmering in the stove while she watched. Once it was in the go, I started getting out all the ingredients set out. The only time I took my eye off what I was doing was when I got her to preheat the oven.

"So, you wanna learn to make cupcakes?" I asked again in Pinkie's voice, pulling a mixing bowl over. When Misty nodded, I loudly cleared my throat, and began to sing. "I'll cook up a solution with the knowledge I've accrued... They say a kitchen time saves nine, but I'm just saving two. I've gathered the ingredients to make some time sorbet. There's hardly room for seconds when the seconds melt away..."

Misty stared at me in confusion as I sang and started throwing ingredients into the mixing bowl. "Watch as I work my gypsy magic! Eye of the newt and cinnamon! Watch as the matter turns to batter! Open the portal, jump in!" I paused just before I started whisking the batter, staring off into the distance. "Wait... That's not how it goes."

Shaking my head, I had Misty put the cupcake liners into the tins. "All you have to do is take a cup of flour," I sang. "Add it to the mix. Take a little something sweet, not sour... A bit of salt—just a pinch...

"Baking these treats is such a cinch," I explained, pouring the batter into the paper liners. "Add a teaspoon of vanilla. Add a little more, and you count to four, and you'll never get your fill of...

"Cupcakes, so sweet and tasty!" I put the empty mixing bowl in the sink, and made my way over to the oven. Confirming the temperature with a spell, I levitated over the trays. "Cupcakes, don't be too hasty! Cupcakes, cupcakes cupcakes CUPCAKES!" At that my I slid the trays into the oven while setting a timer.

Misty looked at me with awe and maybe a little confusion. "That Pinkie Pie sounds like quite the... random pony," she offered diplomatically as we both went over to the cooktop where the marinara was simmering away. "What other sorts of things can you cook?"

It caught her off guard the sheer number of omnivorous dishes I ended up listing. Chicken chili, sushi, tacos, black-bean burgers, minestrone soup, ravioli, pizza, cookies, curry, and quesidillas were just a few of the things I'd learned over the years... And that wasn't even getting into shit like forage or cooking what you killed.

I kept forgetting that ponies these days didn't eat a whole lot of fish, or chicken, for that matter. Misty was no pegasus, and she certainly wasn't a hippogriff, griffon, or dragon. Pegasi back in the day loved fish, and griffons had non-sentient pigs and chickens, so when Equestria and the griffons got to be good friends, imported meat wasn't uncommon. Nopony but me, Spike, Smolder, Gallus, and Silverstream really liked any of it, but we got a fair number of recipes out of it. Today's ponies simply wouldn't get that.

Once I had her taste the sauce and she verified that the sauce tasted good, I opened up the can of black beans, rinsed its contents, and then dumped it in. From there, I set it on a low simmer while the cupcakes cooked. It looked like she really enjoyed the process of making buttercream frosting that I showed her. When the batches of cupcakes came out, she surprised me by icing them all herself.

While the oven once again heated, we got around to constructing the lasagna. Since she was going learning from me, I walked her through the process as Spike showed me. I made sure to highlight the fact that we were using oven-ready noodles, something she'd need to keep an eye out for when buying boxed noodles. Then, once the sauce and the noodles were layered in a baking dish, we covered it in cheese, wrapped it in foil, and slid it into the oven with a timer, and instructions to take off the foil in thirty minutes.

As I was getting myself ready to go, however, she caught me by surprise. Quite literally, really, since she actually put a hoof on my withers to stop me. "I, um... Did you want to stay until the food's ready?" She had a hopeful look on her face, and despite the appreciation directed at me, I could still sense she was anxious. "I'm new to this whole friend thing, but it doesn't feel right having you cook for me without you getting any."

I should really give her that whole innuendo talk some time.

~ 09 ~

Having heard Misty leave and return earlier, Opaline could only assume that her minion had, for once, taken initiative to do some grocery shopping. That was good, because they were all out of comfort foods. Unfortunately as Misty's sole benefactor, it fell on her to ensure that she was properly fed. She was, after all, merciful.

There was definitely something off, however, she decided as she entered the dining room attached to the kitchen. For one, Misty was doing the place setting. Misty never did that sort of thing unprompted unless she was bringing home take-out. Based on the tantalizing smells coming from the kitchen, it was a distinct possibility, but she was hoping that wasn't the case; she hadn't provided her stooge with anything other than the week's shopping budget.

"Misty!" Opaline called out sharply, noticing something out of place—something other than the fact that there was a bottle of wine from the cellar set in a bucket of ice on the table. "Explain this!"

The sudden sound caught the young unicorn off guard, and she nearly dropped a wine glass. "O-opaline!" Misty quickly set the glass down and turned to face her dark mistress. "W-what's wrong?"

Her eyes went from the table to the younger pony. With a sigh, she covered her face with her hoof and shook her head. "I taught you to count better than this!" She gestured at the place-settings at the table, putting emphasis on the third place-setting between the two of them. "Unless you've invited the pesky racoonicorn that's been eating all our food to dine with us, there is absolutely zero reason to set three places at this table." At the uneasy smile Misty gave her, she groaned. "And since when have I ever permitted you to drink my wine?"

It was only then that her ears caught the clatter of plates in the kitchen. She swivelled her attention from Misty to the doorway into the kitchen, just in time to catch sight of... Misty backing out of the kitchen, pulling a trolley full of food with her mouth. She blinked and glanced back at the pony standing at one of the table. "Misty, you didn't!"

This time, it was the Misty with the food cart to startle, resulting in her falling flat on her plot and letting out a squeak of alarm. "O-opaline!" she stammered, fixing the alicorn with the exact same uneasy expression that the first had. Speaking of the first one, she quickly trotted past Opaline to help the second Misty to her hooves. "W-what's wrong?"

"Did you seriously invite that murderous servant of Hunger into my castle?" Opaline shouted, causing both to wilt slightly. "After everything she's done!?"

To the fire alicorn's utter surprise, the Misty that had been pulling out the cart blew her mane out of her face before rolling her eyes at her. "Relax, drama queen," this Misty said as a wave of blue flame washed over her body, leaving a duplicate of Opaline in her place. There was a smirk on her face as a blue corona of magic formed around her horn and three plates of food and a tray full of cupcakes moved out onto the table. "From her perspective, all I've done is some incredibly childish, if somewhat impressive, pranks... and be honest; I could be directing far less playful energies at you."

As Anonymous took a seat at one of the two places set with wineglasses—not Opaline's preferred spot, surprisingly—the changeling smirked. "Besides, if we're speaking of Hunger, I think you would have been more a slave to her than I am," came her glib, matter-of-fact comment as Opaline sat opposite her. Misty followed suit, taking the spot between the two. Unceremoniously, she popped the cork on the wine bottle with her magic and filled both glasses. "After all, you've an insatiable hunger for magic and power... Such ambition! Makes me wonder why she sacrificed her incarnation at the time to protect me until some semblance of harmony returned to the world, rather than side with you."

Opaline scoffed. "As if I would ever debase myself by aligning with one of those conniving Embodied Concepts." The growing smile on Anon's face and the throaty chucke to follow made her uncomfortable. Maybe it was simply her equine side reacting to the sight of all the sharp teeth that shouldn't have been there... "What? Is there something on my face?"

The young unicorn looked between the two in confusion, and Opaline supposed that she couldn't really fault her. There had been no mention of Harmony, Chaos, Hunger, or Fate in what few lessons of the past the alicorn had given her as a foal. In fact, from where Misty stood, they probably appeared like two old friends talking of some sort of in joke.

When Anon raised her wineglass, her expression softened into something that Opaline didn't like seeing in her own face: happiness. "How about a toast, then?" she purred. "To not being servants of meddlesome deities." In a voice almost too quiet to be heard, she added, "Grateful as I am that she ensured my survival, I'm glad the bitch is gone."

She was unsure of what Anonymous was up to, but she couldn't disagree. Instead, she raised her own glass. "Quite," she responded, watching Anon sip her own wine before following suit. Meanwhile, Misty began to dig into her plate of lasagna. "You know, given your last visit, I'm not entirely convinced you aren't trying to poison me."

Misty froze mid-chew, glancing from the real alicorn to the happily smiling doppelganger. She didn't start chewing again until Anon started into her own food. As for Opaline, she sniffed at her own meal before cutting off a dainty piece. When she tasted nothing out of place, she cut off a larger piece. "I can't imagine you would involve Misty in my death, though, and I dare say you wouldn't put her at risk with the way you've been watching out for her."

Again there was that damned smile as Anon swirled her wine, fixing her with a sultry gaze. "That's what friends do, Opaline," she purred. Her horn lit up, and a transparent hand of magic formed above Misty's head, gently patting the filly as she ate. "They watch those they care for, and look out for their well-being with no expectations of anything in return."

She pulled her magic hand back to operate her fork, conjuring another to operate her knife. "So long as you give me no more reason to, and Misty is treated well and kept safe, I've no reason to end you." Even as she magically fed herself, she rested her head on one hoof, while the other kept swirling the wine. "Besides, poison isn't my style. As I'm sure your cultists could attest, I'm more hooves-on..."

Misty looked at the changeling in alarm, but then her gaze switch to Opaline. Immediately her eyes widened. She tried to stammer out something, but couldn't find her voice. Instead, she pointed behind her with a trembling hoof. When Opaline turned to see what was so terrifying, she found easily fifty long shafts of volcanic glass floating behind her, all angled at her midsection. "For example, you'd probably survive this, but it'd still be funny—at least to me—to see how much of your alicorn endurance you actually have since Mom separated you from your power," Anon casually said, drawing their attention back by tapping her knife against her glass. "But we are in polite company, are we not?" With a wave of her hoof, the shafts all floated around the table in a circle before vanishing, revealing them to be the well-crafted illusions they were. "I would rather Misty never have to see that sort of thing. I may have sociopathic tendencies, but I'm fully in control of my actions."

The dinner party fell into an uncomfortable silence at that statement. Neither castle resident wanted seconds, so Anon doled out the cupcakes and casually transformed back into herself. It disgusted Opaline watching as she tossed one of the treats into her fanged maw, paper liner and all, while the topping off Opaline's glass of wine. Misty definitely seemed to enjoy the cupcakes... perhaps a bit too much, but for once, the alicorn was not going to fault her minion. The food was better than what they usually ate.

It was sort of disconcerting the way Anonymous was just staring at her with a smirk. But maybe that's the reason she's doing it... "So, Daughter of Twilight Sparkle," Opaline finally asked, when it was clear the changeling wasn't going to attack her. "If you're not here make a pitiful attempt on my life—not that I'm complaining—why are you here?"

With a soft expression that didn't at all suit the horrifying fangs present in her smile, Anon glanced over at Misty, whose belly had become slightly distended. There was a glazed expression look in the young mare's eyes, and it was clear that she was well on the way to a food coma. "Is it really so hard to believe that I simply like hanging out with my friend?" Poking Misty in the side with a finger of magic, she commented. "Besides, I don't know what you're feeding her, but it's clearly not enough. A good home-cooked meal is just what the changeling ordered."

Her eyes narrowing, Opaline slid her gaze over to her minion. "I'm teaching her moderation," she said through gritted teeth. "I don't want her turning out like that corpulent creampuff, Celestia. I swear, that mare was as wide as she was tall." Of all the responses she'd expected, a barking laugh and a slap of the table was not one. Everypony loved the golden girl, Celestia, and since she was considered a part of Twilight Sparkle's extended family, she'd have expected something closer to offence.

"Fuckin' amen to that." With a snort, Anon transformed into the marshmallow-white princess, with extra emphasis placed on the padding on her flank. In a mockery of Celestia's voice, she crowed, "Dearest Twilight... This little shit <> ate my me-damned cake. She's your responsibility now. Love, Sun Horse." She hopped onto the table, and transformed in mid-air into an earth pony filly who couldn't have been older than eight. "She stuffed me in a shipping crate and made me Mom's problem just because of a cake. Who does that to a foal—even if they do have an adult's mind? And after she went to the retirement community and let Mom take over the sun and moon... Lemme tell you, she really started packin' it on." She shrugged and kept on laughing. "Didn't hate the mare, but I never really liked her."

To her surprise, Opaline found herself laughing alongside the diminutive changeling queen. Misty quickly joined in, even if she wasn't exactly sure what she was laughing over. When the laughter died out, she fixed Anonymous with a look. "Why did you have to end up in those ponies' hooves?" she asked with a sigh. "Cunning, a talent for magic and mayhem... you would have been the perfect acolyte. If I had somepony like you at my side, it would have been foal's play to conquer Equestria."

Anon hopped off the table, and—returning to her original form—started walking toward the door to the kitchen. "You could always give up on that goal, and actually give friendship a chance," she said, not looking back. "Its magic might not grant you power per se, but it made my life so much more fulfilling. It healed me of so many hurts, and helped me grow as a pony."

A tear in space appeared before Anon, revealing a well-lit room with a large pillow-filled bowl suspended from the ceiling. A portal to Maretime bay! It had to be! Without any consideration, Opaline leapt from her chair, bounding past the changeling and through the portal... only to slam into the cabinets in the kitchen, just beyond. Stars danced in the fire alicorn's vision as she turned to face the portal, only to see a concrete wall from this side.

"I'm so glad I found that whitelist function in Mom's anti-scrying notes," Anon cackled, shaking her head as the alicorn came right back through the other side and returned to her seat. "I might never forgive you for your cultists hurting my sister, Opaline, but if Sunny's group ever offers friendship, consider it. Mom and Starlight helped redeem me when I became the Monster of Manehattan; Sunny and her friends could the same for you...

"It's not too late to let friendship into your heart and finally get the love and adoration of ponies who aren't forced to be your 'friend'." Turning to regard her with a sad smile, Anon said, "If I think you're actually serious, I'll even advocate for redemption," and backed through the tear in space.

As the portal shut behind her, Opaline realised that Anonymous had left the chore of clean-up to her—or rather, Misty. Turning her attention back to her servant and the mess of the table and then the kitchen, she felt a vein throb in her temple. Somehow, despite all the noise, Misty had fallen asleep, and was actively snoring. Or, she could just leave it all to me. Again.

Grumbling quietly to herself, Opaline placed all the dirty dishes onto the serving trolley and wheeled it back into the kitchen. Bah, friendship. When I have all of the magic in Equestria, everypony will want to be my friend. Then we'll see whose life is fulfilling, she thought darkly, filling the sink with hot, soapy water. Despite this, a tiny kernel of doubt suggested that she'd still be forcing them to like her for her magic, instead of liking her for her. Her eyes drifted over to the baking pan, where there were still three portions of lasagna waiting to be eaten. At least if that simpering oaf continues to associate with that filthy insect, she might learn some useful skills. I'm loathe to admit I haven't had anything that good in a long time.

Day Trip 02: Fast Travel Network Architecture
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Vlogs of an Ancient Insect

Day Trip 02: Fast Travel Network Architecture

Her Royal Highness, Queen Haven of Zephyr Heights,

I apologise for the means through which this message has reached you, but Princess Storm assured me that sending a message through your secretary would be the best means to get this request across your desk. I, Anonymous Flicker, am engaging in something of a public works project to connect the communities of Maretime Bay, Zephyr Heights, and Bridlewood in a way never before imagined. Through the use of certain arcane arts, and a blending of technology and magic, any pony can quickly travel to and from your city in the blink of an eye: the Equestrian Fast Travel Network. This would be a massive boon to tourism and commerce, and trips to visit your daughters or the best tea shop in all of Equestria would be fast and easy.

It is for this reason that I am requesting permission to erect a small edifice in a public space of your choosing. Enclosed in this e-mail are designs for the transportation platform, the crystal battery, and the crystal charger, as well as documentation for the maintenance and operation of each. With your permission, it would take only a few hours to set up, bring up to operational status, and demonstrate.

I hope to hear back soon on this matter.

Regards,

Anonymous Flicker

Attached Files:
[EFTN-Design.pdf] | [EFTN-Documentation.pdf]

~ Carried on Black Wings ~

Honestly, I thought that getting Hitch and the Maretime Bay town council to allow me to erect my little transporter platform would be much more of a chore. Then again, I think that when I told Izzy and Pipp about my idea, not even a day after my dinner with Misty and Opaline, the two went out and told every pegasus and unicorn in town about it. From there, I pretty much had to. There wasn't an empty seat at the council meeting the night I put forth my proposal. Although the earth ponies weren't as enthralled, since this was their home and they never felt homesick about it, even they were cheering at the idea of not having to scale a mountain to visit Zephyr Heights.

The request was approved pending review of designs, and they'd permitted me to erect the platform near the public gardens, so that the first thing visitors to the bay would see would be the beautiful city vista. Not more than a few days later, my requests to Bridlewood and Zephyr Heights were met with approval. In the sky city, I'd be erecting the platform on an empty lot on Mane Boulevard, so that one of the first things ponies saw when they exited their portal was the massive billboard screen that often showed the news and ads. Meanwhile, the Bridlewood location would be set outside the Crystal Tea Room.

The original design draft was an old Canterlot-style pavilion—something that was already derived from Pegasopolan architecture—made of marble conjured from the Plane of Earth, open on all sides. There would be two pedestals, each with a big button that would trigger an embedded spell slate. I'd included five specific anchor stones—one maintenance access connection point, two inbound connections, and two outbound connections. Finally, at the back, just behind where the maintenance access portal would open, was the battery slot, and the charger with the back-up.

There were, of course, some hiccups along the way. For context, each location wanted some sort of changes to the platform. Maretime Bay wanted natural stone pillars and no roof, since they wanted to put a pergola roof atop it and add cobblestone garden walls on all but one side. Meanwhile, the unicorns were apparently planning on erecting a wooden Neighponese style pavilion around the platform, meaning there I only needed to put in the base and the connections. The only change Zephyr Heights wanted was glass walls between the pillars. Still, I had to construct three different arrays for the earth conjuration and transmutation.

This wasn't exactly a solo trip, mind you. Although I could easily do most of the construction work myself, I still needed the help of the best tinkerer and craftsmare in Maretime Bay, Izzy, to install the charging stations, battery slots, buttons, and wiring. She actually had this super cool epoxy stuff that could be used to seal the wiring into grooves in the floor and plinths for the buttons. I mean, it had glitter in it, but at this point, I'm pretty sure there was glitter in me, so what was the problem? That shit gets everywhere, so you might as well put it somewhere purposely.

Unfortunately, it takes a while to walk to Bridlewood from Maretime Bay, and time to walk from Bridlewood to Zephyr Heights. So how does one changeling quickly get a unicorn to multiple places in one day? Ideally, I'd just fly there myself and just open a portal to the Brighthouse and have her come through, or have her follow me out on her mobile crafting station. Ms. Moonbow, on the other hoof, had a different idea.

As were finishing up the first platform, with me depositing the final anchor stone—labelled MareBridle-Outbound01—into its recess, I watched as she sealed in Maretime-Unbound01. Although most ponies likely wouldn't be able to use them for some time, I intended to eventually release tablets that could open portals from anywhere and bring them to that specific node. The architecture would eventually have to be expanded for that though. Still, it's a great excuse for me to have fast-travel points in three cities.

"Say, Anon," she commented, trying to fill the dead air. "Remember how you turned into a dragon that time when you moved in and talked to Hitch about taking care of Sparky?" I glanced at her and gave a nod. "How big of a dragon could you turn into?"

I shrugged and levitated over her epoxy resin. As I started sealing in the node I'd just set down, I voiced my answer. "Pretty big." That got a big grin from her, and I couldn't help but wonder what was going on in her head. "Why?"

"I was thinking..." That's never a good sign. She rushed over with what looked to be a drywall taping knife and started smoothing out the glitter-infested epoxy resin. "What if you transformed into a dragon big enough for me to ride! That'd be so much faster than driving!"

Fixing her with a stare, I gave the idea pretty serious consideration. I technically had enough stored biomass that I could transform into a fully-grown dragon several times before we saw any diminishing returns in mass conversion. "Ask a mare to dinner before you go asking to ride her," I teased, earning a blush and a nervous look. If push came to shove, I could always find a dead tree and eat that. "It's doable, but I hope you realise that I'd scare the piss out of ponies. Then again, with an ancient enemy on the loose, maybe a little scare would keep everyone aware."

The way her eyes were sparkling made it hard to say no to her. Shaking my head, I took a look at all our work. Everything here was done save for inserting the glowpaz, which was currently seated on the charging plinth, into the power nook. It'd be a problem if someone tried to actually use the system before it was ready, after all. "Look, if you go put everything by the door to my room, I'll go around back of the Brighthouse and transform," I conceded, rolling my neck. "If you're going to be riding me, you might wanna get your driving helmet, a parachute, and a blanket to sit on." Just before I trotted off to become a fearsome predator, I remembered an important fact. "Could you shoot a text to Pipp and Hitch to put the word out that we're not under attack, and that it's just me?"

"You betcha!" she exclaimed, grabbing up everything we'd brought out with her shiny rainbow magic. "This is gonna be so cool!"

I didn't watch her go. Instead, I started centring myself as I walked around back of the building. From here, nopony would see me until I took flight. That was good, because Starlight once told me that it was kinda spooky looking while I transformed into something several times my size. The shade of a tree back here kept the sun off my black chitin, and made it far easier to clear my mind.

My first thought was to go with your standard adult dragon build, with brighter colourations. Most had stocky bodies, long necks, bat-like wings, and their claws were much thicker than those of younger, bipedal dragons. Then again, I felt like I should honour my monstrous, changeling side with this new form. I was something exotic here in Maretime Bay, so my draconic transformation should reflect that. Mmm, yes... That will do nicely.

Once upon a time, I visited the dragon lands with Spike and Mom. There, I saw one of the most unique creatures I'd ever laid eyes upon. According to Mom, the dragoness I'd seen was from the same far-off lands as a night pony guard I'd known hailed from. Her body was slender, more serpentine than the rest, with the colouration of the sunset. What really set her apart from the other dragons I'd met was her wings, which were large and feathered, like that of a phoenix, with similar feathered tufts where you'd expect spines or frills.

I'd never gotten her name, but she was easily the most beautiful dragon I'd ever seen. It was that beauty I would channel into my new draconic form, and then let my magic fill in the blanks. As the blue flames of my magic washed over my body, my chitinous 'hooves' transformed into flexible, razor-sharp claws. As everything about me elongated, a pair of massive wings sprouted from my back, and two antler-like horns burst from the top of my head.

Interestingly, as I swivelled my long neck about to scope out my body, I found that although my scales and feathers were as black as my glossy chitin, the green of my mane played well into my appearance. All of the feathers transitioned from black to green toward the tips, and there was an iridescent green sheen to my scales. There was even a feathered ruff where my neck met my body.

"Huh, I wasn't expecting that." Stretching my muscles and standing to my full height, I found that I may have overshot the desired size just a bit. My head could almost reach the bright-house gallery, and I actually could peer right in the windows to the area everypony else slept. In fact, there was Pipp and Izzy staring at me right now. Then it occurred to me that I was probably accidentally louder than I intended due to my size. "Hey, Pipp. Could you come out and take a pic of me and send it to your Mom's guards so they don't freak out when I go flying up to the city?"

~ The Black Dragon Flight ~

Somehow, we managed to take off without causing a mass panic. Then again, it might've helped that I had a unicorn riding atop my head, using my horns to hang on for dear life. The first several minutes were kinda tense and quiet while I took us just below the lowest cloud layer. It was probably the highest my friend had ever been without touching ground of some sort, and her emotional aura certainly reflected that.

Once she got over that bit of fear, she let out an excited whoop. "Whoa! Is this what the world always looks like to you, Zipp, and Pipp when you all fly?" It was almost hard to hear her over the drag force, but there was several talents that Izzy had, and being loud was definitely one of them. "I mean, Sunny could totally see this too, but she never seems to fly very high when she goes all alicorny. Do you think she's scared of heights?"

I couldn't help but let out a rumbling chuckle. "Pretty sure it's an earth pony thing," I reasoned, yawing to the north-east a bit to catch a bit more of the tailwind coming in off the sea. "The only earth pony I ever knew that had any interest in flying was very eccentric." I quickly pushed down on the melancholic bubble working its way up inside me. Why'd I have to go thinking about ponies I'll never see again? "Heck, I was an earth pony before I became a changeling, and I hated heights. Now I love the feel of a headwind tugging at my mane."

The only downside to her sitting on a blanket draped between my horns and using them as hoofholds was that it was quite impossible to look her in the eye while talking. Her facial expressions were a mystery, and all I could really do to gauge how she was handling it was to open myself up to her emotions. It was always hard not to rely on that sense, even if I'd learned long ago how to turn it off. That said, almost all of her fear had gone, instead there was admiration, excitement, and... inspiration? Oh no... I'm not sure I wanna know what's going on in that head of hers.

"I can totally see why! Look at all the ground we're covering!" She cried out with glee as she lifted a hoof to try and touch one of the clouds. "This gave me a really cool idea that I can't wait to get started on, but it's gonna be a surprise for everypony, so no snooping!"

Now I know I should be worried. As I've noted many times in the past, I could say with some degree of certainty that Izzy was likely a distant descendant of Pinkie Pie. What this meant was that her ideas could vary from cool, to random, to "Oh Celestia, why?" Not only that, but sometimes the mare defied logic. For example, she's the only pony I knew that took to dumpster diving like a sport.

Rather than try and guess at what she was thinking, I wisely redirected the topic of discussion. Nightmare Night was upcoming, and so I probed to see what she had in mind for her costume. I knew that Sunny was planning on doing a Nightmare Moon costume, and I already had plans for a combination of the illusion and enchantment schools of magic that I could cast on her to make the look more authentic. Pipp was doing some kind of fashion... thing. Zipp was some kind of hooded masked archer pony that felt like could have been from a comic in my old world.

I really needed to convince Hitch to come up with a better costume than just himself with a moustache, though. Just as much as Nightmare Night costumes were about choosing something goofy or fun, it was also expressing other sides of you, like things you find scary, or things others don't otherwise get to see from you. A moustache was just a feature that any stallion could grow given time and care. I wonder if I still have those notes on transformation magic for Cadance and Shining Armour's second honeymoon gift. Even if just temporary, I bet I could convince him to temporarily become Harness Pathfinder.

Izzy wasn't forthcoming with her plan, though. Knowing her, it was sure to be goofy. She was, after all, the 'fun' friend of the group, somewhere between Pinkie and Dash. If I knew her, it was probably gonna be something like some Frankenstein pony or something.

"What about you?" she finally asked as I started our descent. "Have you decided on a costume?"

I couldn't help but chuckle. "As a changeling, I do have quite the advantage at Nightmare Night, don't I?" She couldn't see it from her spot atop my head, but I was grinning mischievously. "I was thinking about theme matching with Sunny, but I can't decide if I want to do an evil Celestia, an evil Mom, or an evil Cadance."

The unicorn riding atop my head let out an excited squeak. "Oooh! I'm doing Sunny's horseshoes, peytral, and helmet. Did you want me to help you out too?"

I bobbed my head before entering a dive that would take me just outside the forest border. "Sure," I agreed. "Now, before we go too far into the forest, are there any dead trees that nopony would miss too much? If I use this form with any frequency, I'm gonna need a lot more biomass than mere food can provide."

"... how many trees are we talking about?"

~ Zephyr Heights ~

A few hours, several eaten trees, and a lot of hard work later, we were once again in the air. Since the unicorns were gonna erect their own little gazebo or pavilion over the site, we only had to construct the bare minimum of a platform. At least Alphabittle was kind enough to bring us some tea while we worked. Turns out the Masala Chai was a hit, and he wanted to thank me. Well, that, and because he'd probably get a lot more traffic in the future.

Pulling into Zephyr Heights airspace, we were met by a pair of lightly armoured pegasi. I say lightly because all their armour consisted of a steel Galea with gilded trim, and a matching peytral that didn't provide much coverage. It was almost as though they were more ceremonial than functional.

From atop my head, Izzy greeted the guard pair excitedly. "Hey, Thunder, Zoom! Can you belizzle my new ride?" If I 'd been a real dragon, the disgruntled snort I let out in response to that probably would have shot smoke into the faces of our escorts. "Have you met Anon yet?"

The sky-blue mare of the pair inclined her head in a short nod, but didn't give in to Izzy's conversational tone. "I'm Zoom Zephyrwing, and this is Thunder Flap, ma'am," the mare greeted, even as she and her partner assumed positions in front of me to either my left or right. "We'll be your escorts while in Zephyr Heights."

The spring green stallion waved a hoof in a universal follow us gesture. "We'll guide you in to the castle sky-dock, and then lead you down to your worksite," he added.

It appeared that they'd cleared the air ahead of our arrival not a single unarmoured pegasus was in the sky. There was a public address announcement on a huge billboard TV screen declaring me not to be a threat. It even showed a profile picture from that vlog with Pipp alongside the picture of my draconic form. I guess Pipp's word went for a lot here as both a princess and a celebrity, because there was not the slightest bit of panic when we flew in.

Instead, we had a clear shot up to the highest district, upon which the castle was built. I had to wonder if the castle hadn't been built upon the airship depot they were guiding me to, because from everything I'd been able to glean, the royal bloodline of Zephyr Heights hadn't been established until after the tribes had separated, and the communities had initially been set up to rely upon one another.

The actual opening I was given to land in was actually a bit on the small side for the size of my disguise, and as such i had to resort to risky manoeuvres. Namely, I had to build up a bit of speed, and then dismiss my transformation mid-flight. Oh, sure... Izzy thought the whole thing was great, especially given that she remained on my back as I slid across the floor on my hooves. if I hadn't been so good at transformation, I might've accidentally reverted right out from under her, and then I'd have had to go catch her.

I honestly expected to be led down into the main city, as had been originally agreed upon. It seemed like the most logical place to set up the city's first fast-travel station. Queen Haven must have had a change of heart, however, because we were led up through the castle and over to the bridge that spanned between the the keep and the city proper. There were plenty of large paved spaces that were probably used for celebrations or receptions. There was one spot that was cordoned off that had both a good view of the castle gardens, and the city below. Evidently, this was where we would be setting up.

Even as I sent Izzy through a portal to fetch the goods, I conjured up all the spell slates I needed. "Glowin' up, kinda love. Dip and slide through the cut." I started to sing one of Pipp's many hits. I still don't know when I picked up the tendency to sing along with music while I worked, but it definitely made thing more fun. "Glowin' up, kinda love. We say 'Hi'; you say 'What?'"

Izzy was still in the process of bringing out all the goods when I started creating the marble platform. "Used to care what they'd say, let 'em into my brain, But I found a new way,' I sang in Pipp's voice, mimicking the song perfectly from memory, after-effects and all. "Every time I fall down, I pick it up like rebound. Gotta get through somehow."

Although we'd already drawn a bit of a crowd when we were escorted to our worksite, the moment I whipped out the music, we had a huge crowd. More than one pony seemed to have a phone out recording as a marble platform with old Pegasopolan-style pillars grew up out of nothing. "We don't fly like we used to... We take what we've been though, and we can feel brand new." I actually wondered if Pipp had written this before or after the reunification of the tribes. Depending on when it'd been written, that line alone could've had different meanings. "I know I'm a fighter; I feel the fire... I'm shinin' brighter!"

To my surprise, Izzy joined in on the pre-chorus. "We got the light. We're comin' in stronger," we sang together as the marble roof grew up from the pillars. Why do I feel like she probably heard this song live? "We're in it together. If you want it, it's all inside your mind." Even the guards who were supposed to be—you know—guarding were bobbing their heads with the music as the three glass panes grew in. "We got the light. Won't wait any longer, we'll get it together. If you want it, you can paint the sky."

Even as I started using magic to etch in the grooves for the portal plinths, singing the chorus as I went, Izzy was using spray paint and stencils to put down 'Maretime Bay', 'Bridlewood', 'Inbound', 'Outbound', 'Maintenance' and lines to keep behind while portals were opening or closing. Girl was seriously talented to just bang all that out with her magic. Once that was all done, I started laying out the gem-infused copper wiring, and then putting down the anchor stones, making sure they were aligned just right before grabbing some of her epoxy. She wasn't far behind getting all the plinths wired up and then I inserted the relevant tablets. Up until the glowpaz batteries were fully charged, the only way we could even test the network was if I channelled magic directly into the spell tablets, and I wasn't gonna do that until we had the epoxy down and dry.

See, I went with the glowpaz for the batteries for the networks after discovering that they had the best capacity for energy storage where folding reality was involved. Normally, it'd take a normal pony a long time to fully charge a good three-by-three cube of the stuff, but I'd been doing a bit of experimentation with them, and found that was the best size-capacity uniformity. I'd not done a lot of work with the Positive Energy plane in the past, but I'd found that it could be used to magically charge stones over a period of time. As such, I created a spell that would detect the glowpaz stone in the charger and feed energy into it over the day, either cutting off when the battery is moved from the charger, or when it is fully charged. Ideally, they'd only need a change-over at midday.

By the time we finished the song, we were mostly done, and the crowd eventually dispersed. I was in the process of activating the glowpaz charger, just as I had before leaving Maretime Bay and Bridlewood, when a slinky pegasus in a maid uniform approached to extend an invitation. I guess as friends of both Princesses of the Heights, we were more than welcome to stay the night at the castle and join the queen at dinner. Izzy turned down the offer, citing that she had to get back to Maretime Bay in order to get ready for some dragon-sitting—Hitch has to get some daddy downtime to slut it up, I suppose—but I was more than happy to accept.

After sending my friend home by casting Fuck It, I'm Out underneath her, I followed the maid back to the castle, flanked by Thunder and Zoom. They set me up in a pretty snazzy guest room with a huge TV and a bed that was almost as comfy as one of those cloud beds you could only really get from Cloudsdale. A maid, maybe even the same one that delivered the invitation, would come to fetch me when it was time to eat. In the meantime, I decided I was gonna recuperate after all the magic and transforming, and get a nap in.

~ A Queen of Hearts and a Queen of Feathers ~

Upon being led into the royal dining room a few hours later, wearing my glasses and pegasus visage. The queen was already seated, and I wondered if I hadn't kept her waiting, but it didn't look like she was upset. If anything, it was apparently a pretty casual dinner, based on how she was dressed—or rather how she was not dressed. It was kind of surprising not to see Haven without her any of her royal vestments.

"Anonymous, darling, it's so good to see you again," she crooned as I sat at the place that had been set for me. A smile crossed my face as a servant poured a glass of wine for her, and then one for me as well. "I love the new look. The staff at Mane Melody does exquisite work, don't they?"

I nodded, waiting for her to take the first sip of wine. I still remember the etiquette classes Mom made me take, even if this is an informal meal. "Yes, Your Highness," I responded after taking a dainty sip. Wonder where they grow their grapes. Has to be local if this is a ten year old pinot noir. "Although I'm still somewhat miffed at both Rocky and Jazz for their part in that little farce a while back, they did an excellent job helping to make my image—both masked and unmasked—more modern and approachable."

Not long after we began to talk, a servant brought out bread, French onion soup, and brie. Again I waited until Haven tucked into her food, but this time she noticed. "You needn't stand on ceremony with me, dear," was her friendly admonishment. "You're a friend of my daughters, and you've done my ponies a great service with your fast-travel network. As much as I appreciate a pony with good table manners, stop being so silly and just settle."

I chuckled, immediately forgoing manners and committing the cardinal sin of sopping up some of the soup with my bread. "Settle, huh?" It was hard to restrain a smirk as I popped some brie into my mouth and followed it up with more wine. I finished off my bread and soup before finally saying, "How about you and Alphabittle? When will you two make it official?"

Was it mean of me to wait until Haven took a sip of her wine to ask that? Probably. Given the way she let out a startled squeak and tried to keep from choking, she definitely wasn't expecting me to pop that question. Maybe she was under the mistaken belief that just because I wasn't the Alicorn of Love like Aunt Cadence, I couldn't see her love for him as clear as day.

Her emotional reaction was just as cute as her physical one. Even as her cheeks flushed, she began to radiate embarrassment, affection, and a teensy but of lust. "I, uh, don't know what you're talking about." When I just cocked an eyebrow, she just sighed. Rather than a depressed one, it was a dreamy sigh. "Is it that obvious that we fancy one another?"

A pair of servants came by, swapping out our empty soup bowls with salads. I patiently waited until they were gone before answering. "For most ponies, probably not. If I had to guess, Zipp and Pipp probably won't notice until some time next year, but that's because they are so far away and don't get to see you two interact often." I shrugged and tucked into my salad. "Don't forget that I can sense emotions, and even to whom they're directed. You both like one another, so why not get together at Hearth's Warming and break the news to the girls?"

That drew a confused look from the queen. "Hearth's Warming? I don't believe I'm familiar with anything by that name."

I was about to ask how everyone could remember Nightmare Night, yet not know of Hearth's Warming. It was, after all, one of the most important holidays in Equestrian history. How can you not remember the Founding of Equestria and the first unification of the tribes? Oh... Wait... That tracks with the whole redivision of the tribes.

"Hearth's Warming was a holiday celebrating the Founding of Equestria, and the Unification of the Tribes," I offered, hoping to ring some sort of bell. That just got another confused look. "The holiday celebrated around the winter solstice?"

It almost seemed as though there was some sort of recognition in her eyes. "Pegasi have Wishentine around that time of year. I believe the earth ponies have Winter Wishday on the same night," she explained. "As for unicorns, I think I heard Alphabittle mentioning something called Wishiehoof occurring over several days in that same time-frame."

I fell into a sombre silence as the main course—fettuccine alfredo—was served. It was kinda sad just how much of Equestrian history had been forgotten since the separation. These ponies today don't even live in what has historically been called Equestria, and hang on to but a few lingering threads of the old world's Legacy. Even Mom and her friends were little more than stories for foals passed down through generations, known as the Guardians of Friendship.

Once all of this is over, I'm gonna go dig out that book on the Founding of Equestria and start translating it... Might have to include the traditional Hearth's Warming Play, too. "Looks like I've got my work cut out for me if I wanna translate a play and a history book just in time for the holidays," I finally said just as the servants came to swap out the main course for dessert. As much as I enjoy using an ink well and stylus, I can't deny that I'm gonna need to buy a type-writer... or a computer. "It's tragic that ponies don't even know of the Fire of Friendship."

As the servants placed a slice of cheesecake in front of both of us, as well as topping off our wine, a familiar tune started going off. "I know you're feelin' like there's somethin' wrong," came Pipp's voice from somewhere at Haven's side of the table. "But don't you worry, I have just the song for you—just for you-ooh-ooh." Haven nearly spilt her wine trying to take a phone out from underneath her wing.

"Terribly sorry, Anon; I need to take this," she apologised as she held her phone up to reveal that it was Pipp calling. Turning her phone back to herself, she slid her hoof across the screen to answer the call. "Pipp, sweetie, it's so nice to—" Her expression fell slightly as the pony on the other end of the line spoke up. "Zipp, why are you calling on your sister's phone?"

As Zipp said something too quiet for me to hear over the phone from where I was sitting, Haven's eyes flicked over to me and she let out a sigh. "And you're sure the sheriff won't let you bail your sister out?" A moment later, she asked, "Where are you now?" Again she glanced at me, so I paused the eating of my cheesecake. "If I have Anonymous open the portal to the Maretime Bay Platform, how long would it take for me to meet you at the house?"

Whatever response Zipp was gonna give her went unnoticed as I reverted to my natural form, conjured up the spell that would take us straight to the door to my room on my foreleg, and opened the portal beside me. Without even getting up, I reached through, opened up the door, and revealed a stunned white pegasus standing by the front door.

"Hey there," I called out, taking a swig of wine. "What's all this about Pipp getting arrested?"

Even as the queen rose from her seat and moved over to the portal, Zipp turned and met my gaze. "She, uh, had a bit of a mental breakdown, got incredibly drunk, and got into a shouting match with..." She paused, as if trying to remember. "I'm not actually sure why, but she was yelling at a lamp post like it was you. Hitch showed up not long after. You, uh, might want to steer clear of her for a few days..."

What the fuck did I do?

"I'm sorry to cut this meal short, Anon," Haven said as she passed through, "but I have a distraught princess to bail out."

I nodded. "Alright, it was a pleasure, Queen Haven." My gaze flicked over to her untouched slice of cheesecake, and then my inner hunger-fae spoke through me. "You, uh... you gonna eat that?"

Author's Note

At this, I've fallen behind on my writing. Been a bit caught up in Project Zomboid tomfoolery, as well as working on another little project. Because of the impending holiday season and Sevmas, I may or may not end up not releasing anything over the next few weeks, or perhaps maybe I will. It's a mystery.

Vlog 10: No Nonsense
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Vlogs of an Ancient Insect

Vlog 10: No Nonsense

You ever do something so outside the bounds of common sense or what is considered normal, only to find yourself questioning your actions later? Maybe, at the time, it even made sense to you. Right now, staring down at one of the questions in my inbox, I was questioning that right about now. Worse, it made me want to drink, and I didn't want to make getting trashed a habit. It's been days. Pipp's still mad at me, and she won't even tell me what I did.

Pokey Nose: 'Do dragons eat trees?'

Normally, I'd have dismissed such a question as utter nonsense. After all, what kind of context could a pony have to ever get such a question in their heads? Hell, most ponies these days have never even seen a real dragon, and Sparky is hardly a good representation. His dragon breath is mostly transformative. Of course he could eat a tree.

Unfortunately, I knew exactly what had happened to cause this. On the day that I flew Izzy to Bridlewood and then Zephyr Heights, I kinda wanted to stock up on a bunch of extra biomass to make up for what was spent while transforming back and forth between eastern dragon and pony shape. My unicorn friend assured me we were far enough outside the settlement that nobody would notice me stripping the branches off a dead tree and then unhinging my jaw like a snake to eat it. Clearly, she was mistaken.

Luckily, there weren't any videos yet, but the damage had been done. It was apparently all over a gossip column online. The others knew it was me—thank you Izzy—and they all seemed to think it was hilarious. Me, I was just worried that ponies were gonna start wondering what else I could eat when they found out. 'If the bug can do that to a tree, she could kill a pony and eat the evidence!'

Rolling off my sofa, I landed on my hooves and started going for the door. My phone levitated alongside me, while my mug levitated over to the love casket to get my serving of love. Rather than opening up the portal to the Brighthouse, I morphed a portal spell on my leg linking the main anchor stone in my room's door to BridleUnbound-01. The moment I opened the portal, I shifted my shape until I'd taken on my alicorn mask. At the last moment, I levitated over my glasses and harness from beside my bed.

Stepping through, I was kinda surprised to find that it wasn't yet dawn. I hadn't even thought to look at the clock on my phone before getting up. As the phone floated through the portal after me and slipped itself into my harness, I realised that dawn wouldn't be for another fifteen minutes. "That really puts a damper on my plan," I muttered, draining the mug of love and then popping it into storage. "Guess I should go watch the sunrise."

Spreading my wings, I rocketed off toward the forest canopy. There was a very specific tree that I'd seen the last time we came through, and if there was somewhere that'd get the best view of the sunrise over the ocean of trees that was Bridlewood. Admittedly, the locals might take umbrage with me sitting atop the Wishing Tree, but what are they gonna do? Throw stuff at me?

The moment I touched down on a particularly stable branch, I got comfortable. Even in the twilight just before the sun crested the horizon, I couldn't deny that Bridlewood reminded me of what was once home. It wasn't just the slowly healing Everfree Forest that came to mind; it reminded me of the forests of Alaska, as well. It was a place of wonder and danger, a verdant sea within which one could easily get lost.

It also seems like as good of a place to catch up on some questions for the Vlog as any.

From within my magic storage, I withdrew a list of questions I'd collected over the last few weeks that didn't particularly seem to mesh with any of my previous themes. A quick modification to my eyes gave me the dark vision of a night pony, and then I levitated my phone in front of me, in the portrait orientation, setting it to record.

"Good morning, night owls and early birds!" I greeted my own reflection on screen. Since it was still super fucking early, though, I kept my voice down. "It's your favourite changeling queen, Anonymous Flicker, coming to you live from the highest point in all of Bridlewood! Got a few varied questions to address today!"

I panned the camera around to give people a good idea of where I was before focusing it back on myself. "First and foremost, a lot of rumours have been going around about dragons, so I figured I may as well address Pokey Nose's question: 'Do dragons eat trees?'" I carefully transformed my head into that of the dragon form I'd used the other day, keeping it small enough that it wouldn't break my glasses. "Unless a dragon's magical fire breath has transformation magic in it—like a certain hatchling I know—dragons are not typically known for their arboreal appetites. The dragon that a pony witnessed eating a tree the other day? That was me, and I'm a special case. Trees count as organic mass, so if I need a lot of extra mass for transformations, dead trees are as good of a source as any."

As my head slowly returned to the normal pony shape, I glanced at the list floating alongside my phone. "Speaking of transformations, that seems like a good segue for Lost_In_Translation's question. 'If Changelings don't shapeshift periodically, can they get stuck in a particular form if they use it for too long without a break? Is it actually possible to forget how to shapeshift due to lack of use, like muscles atrophying from long periods of disuse?'"

I shrugged and looked past my phone to the horizon. "It is possible to get form-locked, but it's not a matter of atrophy or forgetting how to transform—which is a fairly instinctual process," I explained in a soft voice. "We require two things in transformation: love and stored biomass. Don't ask me how it works, but when changelings consume 'food', it's metabolised, and the processed organic material gets converted to energy to be stored specifically to fuel transformations. If a changeling doesn't have enough stored mass and love to safely change shape, they would be stuck until they could get more."

Cracking my neck, I rolled onto my side on the branch I was using as a perch. "Next question was an anonymous ask from someone I suspect to be a guard in Zephyr Heights." Honestly, the question made me smile, because it was actually a good, practical question. "'How did the royal guards defend against earth pony and unicorn assailants in the past?' Usually, the guard squads were mixed tribe to cover for gaps in abilities, but that's not always a possibility when it comes to pursuing suspects. For an earth pony, you need to get them off the ground with, say, a net and immobilise them. Unicorns are a bit different because it requires a bit more of a measured response. A gentle horn-tap while spellcasting is a good way to disorient them, but without magic dampening rings, it's hard to keep them from casting once they recover from the spell backlash."

I blinked as I moved down the list to the next one I'd written down. "Wait, this isn't a question; why did I write this down?" I muttered aloud. "Best_Served_Cold commented, 'Honestly Pipp deserved more for the whole kiss debacle. You should've turned into Zipp and threatened to kiss her then.' All I have to say is that I'm pretty sure I got retribution severalfold based on the fact that she's still mad at me for whatever I did the other day."

On and on I went, answering the odd question or even responding to interesting comments that I'd written down. Could ponies shapeshift? Not at the same level as a changeling, and it was gonna be a long time before I shared transfiguration magic. Eventually, the sun began to rise, and I decided to address one last question. It was a pretty hard one, to answer, too. "No name came with this last one, but somepony asked, 'Am I a bad pony? How do you cope with your mistakes? We had to give up our son after he was born. He was the cutest colt you could have laid your eyes upon. But he was different from us. I don't know if he is still alive out there.'" It was such a powerful question that I actually had to turn the camera to catch the sunrise instead of my facial expression as I considered how to answer.

"I won't lie; in the old Equestria, a parent abandoning a child over being a different tribe—at least, that's what I was able to infer from the phrasing—was extremely rare, and usually universally vilified. In the world this new era is stepping out of, I imagine such a thing was not only socially acceptable, but expected," I said in a sorrowful tone. "You were, all of you, indoctrinated to believe that the other tribes were monstrous, and yet inherited genetics meant that there's always a chance for tribal genes to pop up after several generations of dormancy. This would likely have been devastating for any mother, thinking that they've been cursed with such a creature...

"But I will not cast judgement," I concluded in a voice of finality. "All you can do is search for answers and forgiveness. If you can't find the answers you're looking for, dedicate yourself to ensuring that no foal—regardless of tribe—goes without a home ever again. Visit the other settlements, and ask the locals if they know anything about your son. Maybe you'll get lucky, and maybe you won't..."

Turning the camera back to my face, I let out one last sigh before shaking my head. "This is your someday motherly queen, signing off."

~ 10 ~

Maybe two hours later, I was enjoying a cup of tea with my favourite queen—other than myself, I mean—and my favourite tea shop owner. To be honest, I was kind of surprised that Haven was there given how early in the day it was. The mornings were always the busiest part in Mom's schedule when she took over for Celestia and Luna, so I always kinda imagined that Queen Haven's royal court was probably somewhere similar. Then again, young love and all that, right? I couldn't pass up at the opportunity to passively feed on the blossoming love the two felt for one another.

It was also pretty interesting to hear how much of an effect the Equestrian Fast Travel Network was already having. Apparently, lots of ponies had already come by and bought out most of Alphabittle's pre-made teabags, and he'd gotten quite a back-log. Now he was looking at hiring an apprentice to ease some of the work-load. Meanwhile, ponies were definitely making use of the portals to Zephyr Heights in order to do some shopping. Economies were up, and I imagined that I might soon need to consider making some sort of centralised shipping warehouse.

It was about eight in the morning when I was alerted to an incoming video call from Zipp. Excusing myself, I paid for my tea and stepped outside the shop. The moment I hit accept, I was greeted to the sight of not only Zipp, but also Pipp in flight. The moment Pipp realised she was in frame, she turned her nose up and flew out of frame. What did I do to get her so mad at me?

"Anon, you haven't seen Sparky, have you?" Zipp asked, not acknowledging her sister's catty behaviour. "He disappeared from the sheriff's office this morning, and Hitch is on the warpath looking for him."

I shook my head. "Haven't been in town since before dawn, but I'm pretty sure I wasn't followed through by the little troublemaker," I replied, flicking my gaze to the nearby fast travel platform. The only tracks in the soil were those of ponies, though. "I might have a means of locating him, but I'll have to run a quick test, first. I'll keep you guys updated on my findings."

She nodded, and it looked off-screen for a moment before gritting her teeth. "Alright," she acknowledged. "And Anon? Once all this is done, I think you, me, and Pipp need to sit down and hash things out."

At that, she closed the connection. That was a shame, because I was gonna offer to say 'Hi,' to her mother for her, since she was also in the area. Ah well. I can tease that her Mom's hanging out with her new coltfriend some other time.

Without further ado, I cast Fuck It, I'm Out and dropped back into my bed in the Brighthouse. Just as I was readying myself to fetch that scrying spell slate from my magic storage, however, I thought I heard the very familiar babbling of a certain little dragon. This was quickly followed by some very familiar 'evil' laughter from my favourite little redemption project. My heart sank, as I had a very good idea of why they were having such a hard time finding him.

Sure enough, when I pulled the spell out of storage and focused on Sparky, I saw an image of the storage room—basically one big walk-in closet—appear on a transparent pane in front of me. The door was blocked off by a pile of junk, and I could see the missing baby dragon accompanied by Opaline's servant of dubious willingness.

As I strained my ears, I could hear him laughing at her, and her rebuttal through the vents. "Hey, give me a break! I'm still working on the evil laugh." She glanced over at the junk mound and nodded. "Okay. So far, my wall of junk to hide us worked. Check! Now, all I have to do is sneak you out of the Brighthouse somehow and then bring you to Opaline."

Poor little Sparky had no real sense of self-preservation, and just did what happy little dragons apparently did: purr for some goddamn reason. "Oh, she'll be so proud of me, and so powerful, she'll... she'll finally give me my cutie mark!" To my surprise, there was a lot of guilt on her face as she exposed her plans to the little fellow. "It's all I've ever wanted, Sparky! That's why I have to do this."

Shaking my head, I disposed of the scrying slate and hopped out of my pillow nest. As I made my way out into the Brighthouse, I came to a decision. I levitated my phone out of my harness and quietly pulled up the picture I'd taken of the framed photo at the Crystal Tea Room. I didn't yet know what Opaline's plan was, but if it involved the scaly toddler, it wouldn't be anything good... Worse, based on the guilt I saw while scrying, Misty knew it was wrong. So if that cunt was gonna force her proxy to do something unconscionable, I was going to have to shake that proxy's faith.

I barely paid any mind as I opened the storage room door and magically forced the junk barricade out of the way. "Hey there, kids," I all but sang as I crossed the threshold and closed the door behind me. Immediately I could feel her fear and alarm filling the room. As she met my eyes, I frowned and gave her a look of intense disappointment. "Mind if I join this little party?"

The young mare wilted, falling weakly onto her haunches as she looked wide-eyed up at me. Funny enough, our would-be foalnapping victim picked up on the unicorn's distress, and rather than try to get away from her, he put himself between us. He even growled a bit and spat a warning tongue of flame my way.

Arching an eyebrow at the little dragon, I shook my head. "Relax, little dude," I murmured, raising my front hooves defensively. As he seemed to pick up on the lack of aggression, he calmed down. That opportunity was quickly taken to transform into a teenage version of the draconic form I'd used to fly Izzy around. Just like that, he rushed over to get a better look at me. "I'm only here to talk."

As I sat myself down on the ramp, and beckoned Sparky up onto my lap, Misty stammered, doing a very good job of mimicking the way Fluttershy used to hide in her own mane. "Anon, this... I... I..." It was clear that she was trying so hard to come up with some sort of believable lie, but she knew better than to try and bullshit the empathic shapeshifter. After a few moments of indistinct noises from her, she sighed. "I know this looks bad, and this is exactly what it looks like." Too bad she couldn't bring herself to meet my gaze.

For my part, I just looked down at Sparky and tickled his nose with a claw as he looked in awe at the feathered ruff around my neck. "You know, I know this stallion in Bridlewood," I began, smiling as the little gremlin wrapped his scaly little hand around my digit. Even Misty couldn't help but smile at the display as she took a seat at the foot of the ramp. "Many moons ago, his little filly went missing. I never asked what happened to his wife, but I imagine that daughter was all he had to remember her by, and then one night, she just up and vanished. Never found out what happened to her, and the poor guy refuses to leave the forest most of the time, just in case she finds her way home..."

When I cast my gaze from the happy draconic tyke to the would-be felon, I could feel my eyes misting over. "That's what you taking Sparky would do to Hitch," I whispered. "His spirit will break, and he'll become a shell of his former self... and sure giving Sparky to Opaline as a power-up would mean you wouldn't have to see any of these ponies again, but can you honestly say that you wouldn't feel the least bit bad knowing you traded his little boy for a chance at getting your cutie mark?"

At first, she seemed taken aback by my story, but when I hit her with the potential consequences of her actions, I could sense her revulsion. "I... no, I can't, Anon." She looked away from me, and from Sparky. "I don't know what to do, though. Opaline's all I've ever known... She took me in, she gave me a home and a purpose. It feels like I'm supposed to do this, but it feels so wrong." A tremor ran across her body. "I know she's not a good pony, but I'm scared..."

I nodded. It figured that Opaline would have her hooks that deep in the girl. Activating my phone screen and unlocking it, I levitated it over to her. "Misty, I don't know if you're this stallion's daughter, or if the resemblance is all kinds of coincidental, but... if there's even a chance that you're his missing filly, you ought to know."

As she held my phone in her hooves, staring down at the little blue unicorn with the curly buns, the room began to swirl with confusion and despair. Even without the empathic ability, you only needed to look at the tears beginning to stream down her cheeks and the way her free hoof drifted up to touch her face to see that she was fully out of it now. Honestly though, the emotions in the room were so intense that they were actually making me feel a bit dizzy.

What would be the best way to compromise? I knew that even with this revelation—this dangled thread of hope—she likely would not abandon Opaline so easily. She was nothing if not indoctrinated, and it would take a lot more to get Opaline's hooks out of her. If she kept failing and coming home empty-handed, though, I didn't doubt that the bitch might decide that Misty had outlived her purpose and decided to dispose of her. I can't lose another, though...

I glanced over to one of the shelves, where there were some empty mason jars that I imagined Sunny might have been keeping for pickles. Suddenly, I had a stupid, stupid idea. Back years ago, when I had to spend periods of time away from Mom, Star, and Emerald for my therapy, my bodyguard had been given a jar of Spike's fire in order to send letters quickly. It was just a plain jar then... but could I somehow convince sparky to breathe fire into a jar?

It really isn't worth the risk of giving Opaline even the teensiest bit of power, but...

With a sigh, I levitated over one of the jars. Carefully, I transformed a rudimentary fire-breath spell onto my palm, and then quickly grabbed the little dragon's attention. "Hey, Sparky, could you do me a favour?" I asked, taking the lid off the jar. Slowly, I pantomimed breathing fire, complete with my own little tongue of blue flame shooting through the air, into the jar. "Can you breathe flames into this? It's a gift for our friend over there."

As I held the open jar in front of him, it looked like he was deep in thought. He glanced up at me, and then over his shoulder at the insensate unicorn. Finally, after a few minutes of consideration—Is an infant his age even capable of considering things?—he grabbed the open mason jar and filled it to the brim with some of his transformation magic. Once it was full, I took the lid and screwed it back on.

After what had happened the morning after Izzy's sleepover, I knew that I couldn't just carelessly get emotional and give instructions. While Misty was staying true to what I'd inadvertently commanded her with a geas, I knew that stacking them or using them repeatedly would start having detrimental effects on her. Besides, I wanted to genuinely believe that she wouldn't have told Opaline about my non-interference oath even if I hadn't whammied her.

"Look," I interrupted, snapping her attention away from the picture after what had to be several minutes. Her eyes had a familiar-looking faraway quality to them. "The last thing I want to do is enable Opaline's behaviour, but you know I can't let you take Sparky." The jar levitated out of my draconic claw, and I stood up, cradling the whelp. "Every part of me is screaming that I shouldn't do this, but I know that as it stands, I can't quite shake her grasp on your heart and mind... so in order to protect you from her wrath, I want you to take this back to her."

Her eyes moved down to the jar for a moment, before snapping back to the picture on my phone. "When you've had enough of her, let me know, and I can arrange for you to meet that stallion." I snatched up my phone in a telekinetic field, and turned up the ramp. "In the meantime, you ought to get out of here. I'll buy you some time to escape by taking him for a short flight before letting the others know I found him."

As I clipped my phone to my harness once more, I let my feet carry me out of the storage room. I momentarily wondered if it would be possible for me to get one that would fit well whether in pony, changeling, or teenage dragon shapes. As it stood, it was loose and tight in all the wrong places, without managing to interfere with my wings. This form was pretty useful, and the little dude seemed to enjoy seeing other scaly beings.

Scaly... Why does that elicit more than just the thought of dragons?

Once we were outside, I smiled down at Sparky. "You ready to fly, Sparkmeister?" His only response was excited babbling and the flexing of his too-small-for-flight wings. With a nod, I braced him across my chest with one arm and rocketed into the sky. "Let's go see your Daddy."

Soaring through the skies of Maretime Bay, the happily babbling sounds of the baby dragon kept a smile across my face. Even though I wanted to cry and scream at the thought that I might have just powered up Opaline, the happiness of a little one was enough to make me put it aside for now. His immediate safety was the most important thing right now, and it fell within the interference level permitted to me by my oaths.

Maybe not so great, I'm pretty sure this was starting to trigger some instincts and desires I'd really rather not deal with. Mostly, it was a desire to find a stallion—or a mare, as the process wasn't that picky—to get genetic material from, and start a hive. In the back of my mind, I could picture lying in my lair, covered in crawling larva, while a couple of nymphs played in front of me. Even now, I could feel a building desire to mommy the ever-loving shit out of this little guy. No... Not just Sparky, I realised. I'm pretty sure it's more than just big sister instincts that make me wanna help Misty.

Once I thought I had given Misty enough time to get out of the Brighthouse, I activated my phone and held down one of the side buttons to activate the voice assistant. "Call Zipp, speaker on." It took a few moments for her to pick up, during which time, I took the opportunity to give Sparky a fun ride, throwing myself into a dive before pulling up into a nice loop-de-loop.

"Hey, Anon, any luck?" I heard her ask, just in time to hear a little dragon practically beg for me to pull that manoeuvre again. "Was that Sparky!?"

"Yeah, and you'll never guess where I found him," I called out over the wind shear. "Anyway, where are yo—" Just as I was about to ask where they were, I spotted Zipp living up to her namesake, zipping around over the rooftops of Maretime Bay in the opposite direction that I was flying. "Hold one, can you maintain that course for a second?" I tightened my grip on the little dragon and whispered. "Hang on to your scales, Sparky."

I slowly rolled until my belly and passenger were exposed to the sky. Then I pitched down toward the ground. Due to the excess height I'd built up, I let us pick up some speed before pulling up to rocket off behind Zipp. The change in Gs made the little dragon whoop in excitement and maybe a bit of fear. "Sky Princess, this is Black Queen, approaching from your six at two-fifty knots. ETA thirty secs."

There was an audible snort over the phone line, followed by an amused, "Copy that, Black Queen. I'll call off the search." At that, she hung up the call, and maintained her course, which would probably take her toward the Sheriff's office. Her more sedate pace—at least in comparison to mine—meant that I had no problem catching up with her. Levelling off my speed with her was a bit more challenging, and I'm sure the sudden deceleration caused by the cobra manoeuvre I initiated when I overshot probably upset the little fella's tummy.

"So where'd you find him?" she asked as I finally met her flight speed. "We've been looking all over town with no luck at all."

I rolled my neck, inadvertently throwing myself into an aileron roll. "He was in the storage room." The best part about telling the truth is that it's easier to obfuscate with a lie. "Someone's junk pile fell over across the door, and he was stuck in there. Found him napping on some boxes."

She let out a loud groan as she began her descent. Down below, I could see Hitch, Izzy, Pipp, and Sunny all gathering outside the sheriff's office. At first, Hitch didn't even recognise me, which made sense. He might've seen me in the fully grown version of this form, but an adolescent dragon shape was a far cry from an elder dragoness. Still, he nearly bowled me over to get to his adopted son.

I didn't pay much mind to whatever happened next. Izzy and Sunny were fussing over the little tyke right alongside the stallion, but Pipp was a bit more sheepish. In fact, as soon as she saw me, she wilted a bit and looked like she was about to slink off. That didn't exactly work, because the moment I shapeshifted back to my alicorn disguise, I snatched her up in my magic and nodded Zipp towards the roof of the building we were in front of. Then we were right back in the air.

"So, Pipp," I casually said as the three of us alighted atop the building. "Care to explain what you were so upset about the other day? What was so bad that you needed space?"

That sheepish look transitioned to one of embarrassment and horror as she tried to cover her face with her wings. "It... It's nothing," the pegasus princess of pony pop pleaded. "I was being stupid and emotional..."

With a sigh, Zipp, patted her sister on the back. "Just tell her," she insisted, giving her younger sister a caring smile. "Then we can all laugh at how silly it all is."

I nodded, and smirked. "Yeah, I'm curious what I did that was so upsetting that you got trashed, and confused a tall, black, skinny lamp post for me." There was maybe a bit too much teasing in my voice, but I had to admit that, once you got past the whole 'that's kinda racist' thing, it was sorta funny.

It took her a few minutes to relent, and when she finally looked at me, her eyes were a bit teary. "Glowin' Up remains one of my biggest hits before the unification," she explained, her wings drooping as she sat her rump down on the roof. "Except it's one of the only songs that I can't sing live because of all the post-processing effects. The only time I got the chance to do it live, I had to lip-sync, and that whole night was one big disaster."

I blinked, remembering the day that I was setting up the Equestrian Fast Travel Network. The mention of the song reminded me of the fact that there were a lot of ponies watching and had their phones out, recording while I sang and worked. Of course those videos would make it back to her, and if she was that self-conscious about that song, seeing me singing it live—complete with those effects—would definitely push her over the edge.

Shaking my head, I stepped up to her, and wrapped my wings across her shoulder. "Sorry, girl, I didn't even think about that," I murmured, hugging her close. "I get so wrapped up in my work, and I don't even think, so I just start singing to fill the silence. Wasn't trying to upstage you or anything."

That was when the white-coated sister piped up. "After the whole thing with the lamp post, she was actually too embarrassed to face you," Zipp explained as she stepped closer. "Pipp was sure you'd get mad over the whole thing."

When she wasn't expecting it, I snapped my wing out and dragged her into the hug too. "Oh, I'm all kinds of offended, but I ain't mad," I teased as I brought my hooves up to noogie them. "Although... If you're mistaking a lamp post for me, are you trying to tell me I need to put on some weight?"

Stepping away, I let my transformation magic adjust my appearance to add a bit of fat to all the places that made a mare sexy—my flanks, my thighs, and even my teats. I reared up and struck a pose for them. "Does Momma Anon's new look suit your tastes, Your Highnesses?" Their only response was a hearty blush. I cackled, taking off from the roof to go torment the others.

Author's Note

It's a Friday surprise!

Next two chapters are the Nightmare Night and Hearth's Warming/Winter Wishday chapters respectively.

Vlog 11: On Nightmare Night and Mares Night
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Vlogs of an Ancient Insect

Vlog 11: On Nightmare Night and Mares Night

"Anon, are you sure that this isn't a bit too much?" Sunny asked as she checked her reflection in the weird little compact that I was almost entirely convinced was a magical artefact by this point. Seriously, even if it didn't have an alicorn design and everything, I could feel the magic in it, and I wasn't even an artificer. Wait, I'm getting distracted. She turned to face me, her now-black ethereal wings spread and a lot more solid looking, just like the horn and the rest of her coat. "I appreciate the effort you put into the spells, but I'm getting chills looking at myself."

The spells in question were illusions that not only turned her coat black as pitch and made her pupils look like those of a cat, but it also made her mane and tail appear to flow in a nonexistent breeze. She gave me a nervous smile, revealing some illusory fangs, as she fidgeted about with her silvery plate helmet. Dunno when Izzy became a blacksmith, because that stuff looks like legit armour. All said and done, this was an amazing Nightmare Moon mock-up.

Shaking my head, I smiled at her as I started applying my own 'make-up' for the Nightmare Night 'Fright-shion' show. "You look amazing, and I'm not just saying that because I take pride in my spells," I responded, transforming into Princess Cadance. It was a really easy transformation given that we'd been the same height when I was sealed away. It was just a matter of changing my eyes and mane, tweaking my facial structure, growing a pink coat, and applying her cutie mark. "The only thing that would make it better would be if we could have done something to make you look taller. Still, super intimidating!"

Little Miss Starscout watched in interest as I began to alter my transformation piece by piece. First, I began to adjust my coat to a pink just a few shades outside of black. Next, I gave myself cat-like pupils and fangs to match up with Sunny. The crystal heart on my false cutie mark cracked in half and faded grey. Using the same illusion spell plate I cast on Sunny's mane and tail, I gave my own the same flowing effect. Finally, I began to don the steel helmet, peytral, and greaves that Izzy made to my specifications.

Once I was finished, I levitated over a hand-mirror from a nearby table and began to look at my work. Oooh, I didn't actually think it was possible to make Auntie look intimidating... But goodness, if I don't look sexy, too. Turning to face Sheriff Trailblazer, who was looking for his costume in the trunk it was supposed to be in, I struck a sultry pose and in my best bedroom voice—my own voice, though, not Auntie's—asked, "What do you think, Sheriff? Are you ready to have your heart broken?"

As soon as he turned to look at me, he froze like a deer in headlights. HItch's eyes slowly grew wider, and his cheeks grew flush. Oh no, did I give him a fear boner? I had far more class than to take a peek, but I could sense just the slightest hint of lust among all that fear. Mr. Public Morals indeed.

"I, uh, wow," he managed to get out as he looked from me to Sunny. "You both look great, and here I am, unable to find my costume." He finally managed to start moving, as he gave the trunk he'd been searching a good kick. "I know I put it in here."

Gosh, I wonder what ever happened to it.

Turning to my fellow 'alicorn', I gave a shake of my head. "What a shame," I said in a teasing tone. "Without a costume of some sort, he can't really partake in any of the festivities. I guess it's just gonna be a mares night out~."

That got a wave of disappointment out of Nightmare Sunny. "Aww, but I was looking forward to spending the night with all of my friends." She gave me a pleading look, and asked, "Is there anything that you can do so that Hitch can still participate?"

I pretended to give her question some real thought. In truth, I had planned all of this from the moment I heard what Hitch's costume would be. Seriously. A moustache and your disco outfit is your costume? Nah dude. Ain't havin' that weak-ass shit on Nightmare Night. So on top of all of the illusions I'd made for Sunny and myself, there was one last spell slate that I'd brought for just the occasion.

After a few moments, I acted as if I'd just had a wicked eureka moment, and went over to the bag that I'd brought all my kit in. "There is this one spell, but Hitch will have to be the one to cast it," I said, fishing out the ceramic rectangle and levitating it over to the uncostumed stallion. "Just start to channel your magic out through your hoof like you're gonna do plant magic, but push it into every etched line on this slate."

He gave it a suspicious look, holding a green glowing hoof just above it. "This isn't gonna turn me into a newt or something awful, is it?" he asked. "Because if that's the case, I might have to fine you for misuse of magic."

I feigned offence at the implication that I would dare turn him into a newt. Even if I did, he'd get better. "You wound me, good sir," I responded in a teasing tone. "I guarantee it will give you a Nightmare Night you'll never forget."

It was torture trying to hide the smirk or excitement I felt as he pressed his hoof against the spell slate. As soon as the spell took hold, several things started to happen in quick succession. First and foremost, Hitch's face became softer and more feminine, and this was quickly followed up by his mane and tail growing out to Sunny's usual length. He soon lost a few centimetres in height, and his musculature became much less pronounced. There was one more change to happen, but it wasn't the sort of thing I could actually witness without some serious personal space invasion.

Sunny quickly caught on to what was happening, and she let out a startled yell of "Anon!" I think it was that yell and my inability to contain my laughter that drew the attention of Zipp Storm, Izzy Moonbow, and Jazzy, who seemed to be lost in trying to find her own costume. The others slowly gathered around a dumbstruck Hitch as Sunny tore into me. "I can't believe you did that!"

"What, what did she do?" came the now very feminine voice of Hitch. "Whoa. Did everyone get taller?"

Pushing back the hood of her archer superhero costume, Zipp gave the very marely sheriff an appraising look. "I don't know how to tell you this, but..."

This was quickly interrupted by Ms. Moonbow exclaiming, "Anon turned you into a mare!"

It was all I could do not to fall to the floor. My laughter was coming so hard and fast that I was actually beginning to have trouble breathing. "H-hey, Hitch got a costume, and we get a mares night out that he can be included in~!" After managing to catch my breath, I slipped into the circle and threw my foreleg around the shell-shocked former stallion. "Come now, I think you'll make an excellent minion for the Heartbreaker. You're gonna turn so, so many heads..."

He—Or should I use she while the spell's in effect?—swallowed, giving me a slightly angry, slightly scared look. "This is temporary, right?" Hitch and Zipp both asked in unison. This was pretty quickly followed up by Zipp's hasty, "You wouldn't do something like this as a prank otherwise, right?"

I nodded, rubbing my cheek against the newly minted mare. Gotta admit, he's very pretty this way. Almost my type, too. "Oh, absolutely. By midnight, he'll be reunited with the boys," I agreed. After a moment's pause, I tapped my free forehoof against my lip and pulled away to give Hitch a serious look. "Although... I'd recommend not acting on any bicuriosity while you're like this. Pretty sure you'll be stuck until you give birth if you get yourself preggers."

They all stared at me like I had nine heads, but then Jazz got a look about her. There was an excitement in her emotional aura as she took in Hitch's temporary female form. "Anon isn't wrong, though," she said, causing everyone to switch their stares to her. "Hitch was a handsome stallion... Maybe not Rocky-handsome, but handsome..." Girl, just ask him out already. "And now he's a really good looking mare, and it would be a crime not to make her look her best."

I gave a very toothy smile as Izzy started to mirror Jazz's excitement. "Oh! We'd have to come up with a name for the costume~!" she added, beginning to bounce on the spot. "Oh! Oh! How about Harness Pathfinder?"

Cheeky little shit's been reading my mind!

It was at that point that the door to the prep room—really it was just the storage room—opened up to reveal Princess Pipp. "Alright everypony, we're starting soon," she called out, looking around. "Anon, looking good, but I'm not introducing your costume as Nightmare MILF. The earlier discussed Heartbreaker title should be fine." Then her eyes locked on ~~Hitch~~ Harness. "Oh my hoofness!"

~ 11 ~

"You're probably wondering why I made a spell that turned Hitch from a stallion to a mare for a short period of time," I commented to my phone as I sat down, waiting to be called out to walk out on stage. Out of the corner of my eye, I caught the aforementioned sheriff sitting rather stiffly on one of the provided folding chairs. Our local fashion experts had done a good job braiding her mane and tail to make it more like Sunny's. "I mean, who just does that to a friend, right?"

I let out a chuckle that probably sounded way too sensual. I think I'm getting way too in character, but that's half the fun of this holiday. "Back in Ponyville, Nightmare Night was a night of sweets and scares." I inclined my head toward Hitch angled my camera so that the audience could see. "More than that, though, it was a night of fun and games. The more daring ponies often engaged in miniature prank wars. I remember one year, Rainbow Dash was doing her usual storm-cloud prank, scaring ponies with lightning and the like. Well, after she gave Emerald a scare one too many times, I borrowed a catapult from the pumpkin artillery game and shot her out of the sky. Absolutely hilarious times."

The slate with which I pranked the stallion levitated over, and began to spin gently above my hoof. "Was it a bit mean not to tell him what it was before I let him cast it? Probably." I giggled, levitating the slate back out to the bag in the storage room. "Anything would've been better than the 'Hitch, but with a moustache' costume that was originally on the table, but hey; dude's gonna have a really unique night, and who knows. Maybe he'll even learn something about himself in the process."

Rocky Riff, who was perched just behind the stage curtain, pointed to my gender-bent friend, and then nodded his head toward the stage. "Here's Hitch," I could hear Pipp call out, "as Harness Pathfinder!"

~~Hitch~~ Harness was a bit reluctant to go out on stage. After all, as a stallion, she'd been the most eligible bachelor in all of Maretime Bay. You wouldn't believe just how many mares lusted after him, but were too shy to approach. When the summer oestrus season kicked in really late, there were so many horny single mares directing their lust at the guy. Her confidence as a mare wasn't nearly as strong, and there might even have been some worry that this might affect their perceptions when the spell ran its course.

Based on the whistling and the cheering when she finally stepped out onto the stage and made her way down the catwalk, I didn't think there was any risk of that happening. Maybe it was the fact that they all recognised that their sheriff was hot regardless of whether he was Hitch or she was Harness, or they were just that damn impressed by the courage it must've taken to do such a daring disguise, but there was a lot of cheers and wolf-whistling. Based on the amorous emotions I could feel backstage, a lot of ponies might've learned something about themselves. Ha, I'll probably get a bunch of questions about that next, so I may as well head that off.

"You're probably itching to know about that spell," I explained to the camera as a heavily blushing Harness returned back stage and headed out into the audience. "It was originally something of a gift I made for Auntie Cadance's second honeymoon with Shining Armour. As the Princess of Love, her domain covered many spheres, but for all the love she had to offer, they were a monogamous couple. That didn't stop them from getting experimental, or trying to give Flurry Heart a sibling." I shook my head with a throaty chuckle. "Shiny never ended up with foal, but several other same-sex couples that would later gain access to the spell certainly did."

I watched as Izzy hopped out on stage, covered in a smattering of different temporary coat-dyes. I should've made something for her, too. All your friends, huh? "I'm sure there are ponies out there that would love to get their hooves on this spell, but it's not, nor was never intended to be, permanent," I warned, looking back to my phone. "In a previous Vlog, I mentioned something called 'morphic resonance'. It's not just a changeling thing. All living creatures have a morphic resonance, the magical instructions that define a creature's existence. Repeated use of transfiguration spells on living things over short periods of time has the tendency to damage its morphic resonance, and if it breaks down completely... Bad things happen. Like, eldritch horror bad things. It's not easy to change a resonance, and it is well beyond any of my spells' abilities to do so to another creature."

As Izzy returned to the backstage area, passing through to join our other friends in the audience, I started readying myself for my go. Sunny was also practising the imperious demeanour prior to being called up on stage. "This is your love bug Queen Anonymous, signing off," I whispered, before ending the video recording. Turning to my young friend, I called out, "Knock'em dead, Sunny!"

"Trading the shine of the sun for the dark of the moon," announced Pipp in a spooky voice, "it's Sunny!"

When she was called up on stage, she took a steadying breath and threw on a dour mask. The moment she marched out, the entire building went quiet. There was even a record scratch as the ambient music Pipp had been piping into the place went quiet. The silence continued for a good half minute before I heard Starscout break character by greeting the crowd with a gleeful, "Hey, everypony!" Just like that, the crowd erupted in cheers and screams of faux terror.

Even before Sunny returned, I started making my way towards the curtain. I met her with a raised hoof, which she bumped with her own armoured hoof with a resounding clank on her way past. She seemed so excited that her costume was a smashing success, and I had to admit that the excitement was contagious. My turn could hardly come soon enough.

"Presenting the Queen of Lust, Heartbreaker," came Pipp's announcement, "it's Anonymous Flicker!"

I easily slid between the curtains as I sashayed my way up towards the end of the stage. Unlike the intimidation factor of a stern face that Sunny's Nightmare Moon costume required, mine required a different approach. My eyes remained half-lidded as I gazed out at the audience, gently biting my lower lip. Once I reached the end of the runway, I struck a pose with my wings spread, my tail flicking before I spoke. "Greetings, my lovely subjects," I haughtily greeted the crowd. "Shall we put your hearts and your beds to the test?"

Much like with Hitch before, there was a great mixture of fear and lust in the air. Passively feeding on that might not have been the best of plans, because as I made my way back to the curtain, I might have gotten a bit too into it and flagged at the audience on my way past. In my defence, I skipped lunch. "Whoa," came Pipp's voice to the side of the stage as whoever was operating the lighting redirected the spotlight off of me. "Easy, mare. Remember, this is a family friendly event!"

~ 11 ~

Honestly, I wasn't all that surprised to come across Misty in the back room some twenty minutes later. She was getting kind of daring using her communication brooch to talk to Opaline directly in Mane Melody, where anypony might come in. Then again, the poor lass was really bad at being a villain. The sooner she figured out that alicorn would cast her aside when she outlived her use, the better.

Let's see, what's the scheme tonight? More attempted foalnapping? Gonna get Misty to try and jar one of Sparky's literal fire farts for Opaline to huff? I wondered as I quietly locked the door to the back room so that nobody would intrude. Oh look, Bitch Pudding asked Misty to lay out the plan, and immediately started talking over her. Surprise surprise.

"Get these Ponies to use their magic, so we can figure out how it works," the smoky Opaline all but snarled at Misty, "and then take it from them!"

It was in the middle of Opaline's god-awful 'evil' laugh that I chose to reveal myself. I chuckled just loud enough that both Misty and the apparition snapped their attentions over to me. "Nah," I matter-of-factly interrupted. "I think after you had her try to foalnap Sparky and she brought you back some dragon fire—you're welcome, by the way—she's more than earned a Nightmare Night where she can enjoy herself with the others."

The apoplectic expression on Opaline's face was so satisfying. "Is that so, Anonymous?" she growled back, and I could actually feel her rage over the connection. Probably an effect of getting a bit juiced up on dragon fire. "And why would I ever allow that?"

To Misty's surprise, I levitated the necklace off of her, and put it around my neck. I held the attached artefact up so that I could stare Opaline down with bedroom eyes. "It's either she gets the night off," I huskily whispered, "or you and me are gonna have a date night on your bed with my ovipositor until you're ready to be a good little fire alicorn who treats her minion like an actual pony with feelings and needs." For good measure, I gave the locket a good shake. "So, tell Momma Anon what it'll be."

To Misty's credit, she didn't intervene. Then again, I really don't think she even understood that I was suggesting I dick down her boss with my egg-laying parts until she mellowed the fuck out. I don't think she ever got the birds and the bees... Or is that the birds and the breezies? I can never remember. Instead, she was looking from the necklace to me with a look of worry.

Then of course, you had the alicorn apparition floating in front of me. If I'd thought Opaline had looked enraged before, she looked like she was gonna stroke out after visibly shivering at my 'offer'. I don't think anyone had ever talked to her like that before... never mind being offered behavioural correction through being treated like a broodmare.

When Opaline sighed and relented with a "Fine," it was all I could do not to praise her is a good nymph. "But she's to be back home no later than tomorrow night, and its up to you to deal with the aftermath of whatever she gets up to while in your care."

As soon as her projection withdrew to rest inside the necklace, I tucked it inside my the peytral of my costume and walked over to Misty. "Don't worry; I'll give this back tomorrow," I commented, tapping the shiny metal going across the front of my barrel. "Let's keep work and fun separate, now."

With that out of the way, I wrapped my tail around Misty's leg and led the stunned pony out into the party at large. Someone might've assumed that—given my earlier display—me leading the hooded, masked filly around by my tail was some form of sexual harassment. Really, that was just so that she couldn't shy away from hanging out with the others. She could try to hide it all she wanted, but there was a part of her that enjoyed being around them.

As I spotted the group gathered around, I grinned and dragged Misty that way. "Hey, ladies!" I called out, getting everyone's attention. Heh, even Harness looked. "Look at who I found being a little wallflower."

For a long moment, she seemed paralysed when looking at Sunny. It wasn't fear, mind you—just surprise. The moment Sunny spoke up, however, the spell was broken. Meanwhile the moment she realised that there was a mare that looked just like Hitch where the stallion should have been, she slowly turned her head to look at me. Damn, she learned quickly where to look when something fucky's going on.

Once that was out of the way, most of the others started bombarding her with questions. Pipp especially was interested as to what Misty thought of the party, and the 'Fright-shion' show. Meanwhile, Izzy, Sunny, and Zipp were all trying to do their best to get her to enjoy all the many facets of the party. The punch, the games, the music... It was a bit rough at first, but once she finally got it in her head that I wasn't about to let Opaline punish her for tonight, she finally got into it.

While all of that was going on, I stuck by Harness near the punch bowl. Much like the sheriff-turned-mare—The mariff?—I was more than content to sit back and make sure things didn't get too rowdy. As a queen, it was my duty to watch over the well-being of my swarm. That meant being vigilant and making sure that nobody took advantage of any of them. Even if I teased the sheriff about getting stuck like that until she gave birth, I'd seen the way some of the stallions were looking at her, and if she didn't enjoy herself as a mare tonight, forcing that on her for a year would be worse.

It wasn't like I couldn't relate, and I said as much. Once upon a time, I'd ended up in quite the similar situation. Admittedly, my situation was a lot less temporary, but I knew damn well what it was like to be in an unfamiliar body, and what it was like to be the 'wrong' sex. It seemed to make her feel a bit better. It probably would've meant more if I wasn't the one responsible for this, but hey; I was taking responsibility.

Towards the end of the party, something unexpected happened. Somepony approached me. I mean, getting approached for conversation isn't anything weird per se, but rather what was weird was what I was approached about. Remember my whole in-character bit on stage? Yeah, Posey of all ponies came up to ask me if that was a serious offer. I knew she was something of a high-strung pony, but I never would have imagined she'd come up and ask me to help her destress.

Given that I was pretty sure I was going through a period where my changeling queen body was extra fertile—that was pretty much the only thing that explained the Momma Anon thing and starting to think of my friends as my swarm—I turned her down. The worst part of being hyper-compatible with pretty much everything as part of your biology meant that I had to be exceedingly careful about that sort of thing... and it wasn't even like being with mares was safe either. Almost any genetic sample was technically enough for my body to convert into something usable to inseminate my bug eggs. Changeling biology is so fucking weird.

~ 11 ~

Toward the very end of the party, once all the foals and elderly had gone home to retire for the night, that was when the alcoholic drinks came out. While I was more than happy to play the responsible adult and only have a single vodka cooler, I couldn't deny that things were gonna start getting wild. Even if it meant keeping my eye on six ponies instead of just one, I didn't mind; to be honest, I kinda wanted to see what sort of chaos erupted.

Then our hostess whipped out a goddamn karaoke machine. Lemme tell you now, this was easily my favourite part of the night. Sunny, Pipp, Zipp, and Izzy, I expected to participate. In that regard, I certainly was not disappointed. Nothing could top Harness getting tipsy and trying to sing one of her favourite rock ballads, but even Misty got in on the action.

Something weird started happening the longer karaoke night went on though. I could feel something stirring in my chest. At first, I thought maybe I'd consumed more alcohol than I thought, but the longer it went on, I realised that I'd felt something similar a long, long time ago in another world. It was a Heartsong.

How can this be, though? I mused as a pegasus mare by the name of Windy sang one of Pipp's more recent songs. I'm outside Harmony's domain now, and I haven't been suckered into any of the music magic in the last fifteen years since that time. Funny enough, I noticed that the cutie marks of five of my six little ponies were shimmering a bit as they took their turns. Maybe unity magic has replaced Harmony magic as the catalyst?

When somepony threw the microphone over to me, I smirked as I caught it in my magic. "You know, there's something I'd like to try," I crooned into the mic. "I feel something I haven't felt in so long, and I think you're all gonna like what happens next."

The venue fell quiet as I let the magic flow through me. Seemingly out of nowhere, an eerie string instrument began to play, accompanied by other instruments, and I lifted the microphone to my mouth. "Oh, you want music magic? Well... I don't see why not~!" I sang as I hopped up onto the catwalk.

"When I walk past a mirror, I ask myself,
'What face should I wear?'
I feast upon the love everypony gives me.
Isn't that lovely?"

Jaws began to drop as I shed my disguise, leaving me in my natural form. My mane and tail were still under the effect of the enchantment, so they flowed free like a fog. It was probably the most intimidating I'd ever looked, what with the armour. More so, it felt like I was baring my very nature to them, and I was loving it.

"Can't just stay in one form; it's my nature.
You'll find I'm fair.
I'm far too sexy for you to handle,
Beyond compare~!"

Instinctively, I knew that I was reaching the chorus of whatever this was. With a bit of flourish, I spread my wings and took to the air. I spread my forelimbs and pirouetted through the air as I reached the crescendo.

"I'm a changeling (glamorous and sleek)~.
I'm a changeling (quite the naughty freak)~.
Darling, I'm a changeling (make you quiver in your bed)~.
Don't you cry now, I am super fine..."

"I'm a changeling~.
I'm a changeling~."

When next I touched down on the floor, it was in front of the pony that had propositioned me. Her cheeks flushed as I ran my armoured head underneath her jaw and brushed past her, inadvertently brushing against her chest with my tail as I turned to sing the next verse, earning a bunch of shrill whistles from the audience.

"Hush, pretty pony, don't say a word;
I can feel your lust.
I'll be anyone you want me to,
In me just trust."

"Can't just stay in one form; it's my nature.
You'll find I'm fair.
I'm far too sexy for you to handle,
Beyond compare~!"

Once again, I spread my wings and took to the air for the chorus.

"I'm a changeling (glamorous and sleek)~.
I'm a changeling (quite the naughty freak)~.
Darling, I'm a changeling (make you quiver in your bed)~.
Don't you cry now, I am super fine..."

"I'm a changeling~.
Ooh, I'm a changeling~.
I'm a changeling~."

Touching down on the stage, I held the mic close to my mouth and, in my dual-layered voice, said "Oh, I'm so naughty." Maybe the tone was a bit too flirtatious, but based on the cheer that erupted from the crowd, the song was well-received. That said, I did feel more than a bit drained. I'll probably be feeling that tomorrow.

It almost felt like the phenomena was powered by my own magic, rather than anything ambient. That'd definitely explain where all my energy went. Is that something I can activate at will now, or was it just the situation that provoked it? Not that I really minded too much, but I'd have preferred being a conduit for an external force than some external force using me as a fucking magical speaker.

Even as my little ponies rushed over and managed to drag me over to the side of the room, I smiled. "What in Equestria was that?" Sunny asked as I sagged against her. "I've never felt magic like that before, but you were filling the room with it."

This was quickly followed up by Izzy seizing me by my shoulders and shaking me. "You've got to teach me how to do that!"

Then of course Pipp was there with her ever present phone. "You have got to let me post that online."

Maybe the funniest reaction, however, was my favourite sheriff's. Well, ~~Hitch~~ Harness was technically the only sheriff I'd ever met, but that's not the point. I would've expected to have gotten in trouble with her for singing a lewd song, but instead, she was caught up in hysterical laughter with Zipp.

"Did you see Posey's face?" Zipp cackled, as she sipped at what looked to be some sort of wine cooler. "I didn't think she could turn that colour!"

That got a snort out of Harness, who elbowed the mare and responded, "You missed it earlier, when she propositioned Anon right in front of me!" Finally, she laughed so hard that she fell over and turned into a giggly little mess on the floor, and I imagined the others weren't that far behind. "I don't know which one looked more mortified!"

Ah youth, how I missed ye.

Author's Note

Yeah, fuck you, Opaline; it's the Bug Song now!

Day Off: Merry Sickmas
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Vlogs of an Ancient Insect

Day Off: Merry Sickmas

It was rather startling, not waking up in her own bed. Misty had slept over at the Brighthouse once or twice before by this point, and it was always jarring not waking up looking at a wall or ceiling in Opaline's castle. That said, any previous time she might have spent here, she usually woke up in the living spaces on the first or second floor. Instead, she found herself somewhere she'd only glimpsed through portals.

That in itself would have been rather jarring, as she'd never once been invited into Anon's chambers—likely due to her continued affiliation with the fire alicorn. What was more unsettling was that she found herself laid out in the loaf position atop some pillows in a rather compact space. She technically had enough space to climb out of said space, but in the dim light cast by a dying illusory flame at a nearby writing desk, she could see just enough in the room to know that she was rather high off the ground. There was even a hardened black substance forming a hexagonal tube that seemed to house her.

The next thing she noticed was that she wasn't in her Nightmare Night costume. In fact, if she peeked out over the edge of her little 'cell' she could see a sofa on the opposite wall that seemed to have not only her belongings, but those of Sunny, Pipp, Zipp, and Hitch laid out neatly beside her own. A quick look nearby revealed that there were six other cells built around her own, although she couldn't peer into them without risking falling two metres. What she couldn't see, however, was the owner of the room.

"Hello?" Misty called out, trying to catch any sign of life. "Is anypony else here?"

There came a groan from one of the adjacent cells, and not long after, that inquisitive pegasus mare, Zipp Storm poked her head out. "What in Equestria happened last night?" She wasn't slurring at all, but it was clear to the unicorn that she was just as disoriented from the previous night's imbibement and shenanigans. "What the hay is all this?"

All around her, the others slowly started to rouse until finally only one cell did not have a pony's head sticking out of the opening. A quiet discussion began as the pegasus sisters slipped out of their nooks and started helping the others get down to the ground. Some recalled having too much to drink, others recalled coming back to the house. None of them, however, could recall coming down into Anon's underground lair.

Although she wouldn't admit it, Misty hadn't had nearly as much alcohol as any of the others. In fact, she remembered everyone but her and Anon passing out in the living room. She recalled Anon not giving her back her necklace, but then things got hazy. Anon muttered something about sleepy eggies, and then everything went dark.

Just as Pipp and Zipp helped Izzy down from the highest cell of the black honeycomb marring Anon's wall, the room flooded with light and the smell of something. The smell seemed off for a reason that she couldn't quite fathom. That was when Anon staggered through the open portal to the upstairs, levitating along several bowls. The glow of her horn flickered, and she nearly dropped the dishes, but as soon as she saw everypony gathered in her room, she quickly set everything down.

Her eyes were alight with glee as she stumbled over with a happy squeal. "Awww, my little sleepy eggies have all hatched!" As the changeling drew closer, Misty noticed that there were several strands of seaweed wrapped around various parts of her body, and it looked like there were shiny flecks covering the chitin on her hooves. Then Misty noticed the necklace still around her neck. "Look at all my pretty little nymphs!"

"Anon, what's all this about?" Sunny demanded, moving to stand in front of the changeling queen, gagging slightly as she drew closer to the bowls. "Why did you put us up there, and what in the world did you cook in the kitchen!?"

Interestingly, Misty noted as she joined Sunny, the two pegasi in the group didn't seem so averse to the smell. Their wings were twitching, and the sisters seemed drawn to the bowls. She idly wondered if she was about to witness the pair dig into whatever the meal Anon had prepared was as though they were cats, but they seemed content just to sniff at it, and announce, "It's a soup?"

Anon turned to the princesses with a grin, although if anything, her eyes seemed unfocused. "Only the best, nutritious seafood chowder for my little ones! Gotta get lots of protein if you wanna be big and strong like Momma!" That was all Anon could get out before she slumped against Misty and Sunny. "Oof."

Everyone immediately rushed over to Anon, the bowls of soup quickly forgotten. Misty tried her best to support the changeling while casually retrieving her necklace, but it was kinda startling just how warm the bug was. Although the bug wasn't overly touchy-feely, she'd been around her enough times to recognise that this was outside the norm. If anything, wasn't Anon usually cool to the touch?

"You guys, Anon's kind of hot, isn't she?" she asked, trying to draw attention to that fact.

Everyone's heads snapped in her direction, and she realised that she was now being regarded with a critical stare. Princess Storm was the first to actually manage a response however. "I mean, yeah," she said in disbelief, earning a look from the purple pegasus sibling that promised later discussion, "but is now really the time for that? She seems really out of it."

Luckily, Sunny was there to clarify. "No, Misty's right," she interrupted, grabbing the white sister's hoof and pressing it against Anon's forehead. Even the unflappable pegasus couldn't help but wince at the heat being thrown off by the bug. "She's running a fever, so she's probably delirious."

Even as Sunny had Hitch help her get Anon over onto her sofa, and the others started cleaning up, Misty found herself paralysed with indecision. Part of her wanted to return to Opaline and report the situation; after all, wouldn't her mistress take pleasure in Anon's misfortune after how she'd spoken to her last night? Still, she didn't doubt for a second that Anon would stick around and nurse her back to health if the tables were turned.

Stroking her necklace, she wondered if the artefact wasn't to blame. Opaline once told her that the magic item was suffused with some of her magic to allow her to communicate with Misty, but warned that there was a nasty surprise in store if anypony other than her wore it. Something about a curse that would cause the wearer to engage in self-destructive behaviour. Yet Anon didn't seem to show any of that last night; if anything, she'd seemed unaffected.

"Misty, could you go upstairs and get a bucket of cold water and a wash cloth?" Hitch requested as he laid her flat on her side. "Sunny, do you think we should call a doctor?"

The young unicorn had never been in this room before, so she wasn't experienced with opening the portal that was upstairs. As a result, she had to wait until Izzy, who was now levitating several of the bowls alongside her, opened the portal once more and stepped through. She didn't catch what was said in response, although when she looked back, she saw Sunny filling a mug from the huge cask beside the couch and bringing it over to Hitch.

When she stepped out into the living area, her eyes were immediately drawn to the attached kitchen. There was a large pot on the stove, undoubtedly with more of the strange-smelling soup that Anon called chowder. The only other thing worth note was a cutting board that appeared to have a bit of blood and a pile of the same shiny flecks that'd been all over her hooves. Belatedly, she realised they were fish scales, but there were no bones to be seen.

"I'll get some washcloths," Izzy announced as she set down the bowls of soup on the counter. "There's a big bucket under the sink. Might wanna rinse it first to get any loose glitter out. Sunny made me responsible for mopping up all the glitter spills, and lemme tell you, we spill a surprising amount of glitter around here."

When Misty just nodded numbly, her fellow unicorn scampered off upstairs. Evidently, Izzy was understating just how much pink glitter was at the bottom of the big plastic bucket, because the bottom of the sink was coated until it all went down the drain. Once the bucket was full, she made her way over to the door, but realised rather quickly that she was not able to open the portal.

Setting down the bucket, she debated once more slipping outside to contact Opaline. Even if she had until tonight to get home, she had half a mind to argue that staying to help Anon while she was sick would likely cement everypony's trust in her and grant her better access to the Brighthouse down the line. Besides, the alicorn couldn't exactly hide the fact that she was hoping for a repeat of the free dinner. Anon couldn't do that if she were as sick as death.

Her fellow unicorn arrived before she could come to a decision. Just as she was about to turn and make a break for the door, Izzy was there at her side. The portal opened, and Izzy went in with an entire stack of washcloths and towels. Misty followed suit, grabbing the bucket's handle in her mouth and carrying it through. Finally, she set it down beside the sofa, where the changeling's head was now propped up on some pillows.

"Yes, that's right," Zipp was saying to somepony on her phone. This was interrupted by a loud cough and a groan from the bug. "No, I'm pretty sure she hasn't had any sort of check-up since she got here, so she probably isn't up to date on her vaccinations."

The hazy-eyed insect locked her gaze on Misty and immediately started grinning. There was a startled yelp from the young mare as she was gently lifted into the air and flew over to the sofa. Before Hitch could put a damp cloth over Anon's forehead, the young unicorn found herself thrust into the bug mare's waiting forelimbs, and trapped in a gentle, but firm grip.

"Oh, Mimic, you'll always be my favourite daughter," Anon babbled, nuzzling the top of Misty's head, yet taking care not to get her now runny nostrils anywhere near her mane. "You're gonna grow up to be the best infiltrator ever, and you'll get so much love for the hive that your little brothers and sisters will never ever go hungry."

Unable to help herself, Misty simply froze up in the mare's grasp. It wasn't just that the mare's delirious rambling risked exposing her as an agent of the group's unseen enemy... That would have been too simple of a reason. No, what made her freeze up was the fact that genuine affection for a child that didn't exist was being projected onto her, and she was kind of enjoying that feeling. She almost didn't want to make it stop, because Opaline had never showered her with such love, and that selfish desire made her feel guilty.

Although Sunny and Pipp likely thought the display was cute, they were kind enough not to laugh. Meanwhile, Hitch just worked around the now stationary bug, placing several cool damp cloths across her body. Izzy was nowhere to be seen, and Zipp seemed to be finishing up her phone call. "Right, so a doctor and a nurse are being sent over to check her out. Hopefully, Anon won't have to be hospitalised."

Hitch nodded, glancing at a now blushing Misty. "I don't get what happened, though," he muttered, speaking more to himself than anypony else. Then Anon seemingly fell asleep, trapping the young mare in her arms. "She was fine last night..."

~ "I hate being sick." ~

*Tap*

Ow.

I cracked my eyes open, and winced at the bright light that greeted my eyes. My head was killing me, and it was hard to make heads or tails of what I was seeing. My thoughts were all scrambled, and I couldn't remember how I would've gotten somewhere full of bright light. After all I rarely ever went to sleep with the illusory sun in my room left on.

When the light stopped overloading my brain, and my vision cleared, I found that I was in a rather cushy hospital bed. There was a nasal cannula feeding me air, and an intravenous line slipped in between the chitinous parts of my foreleg. More concerning was the fact that I was strapped to a hospital bed with a strange device tape—

*Tap*

"Ow."

Why in the fuck is there a ladle on a motor taped to my forehead, and why is it intermittently smacking me in the horn?

Not gonna lie, when the door opened, I half-expected Redheart—an earth pony nurse from Ponyville who became a doctor when I was in my teens, and had been my primary care provider. It couldn't be her though, because... well. I don't actually know how many years she's been gone. Still, the pony that entered could easily have been one of Redheart's descendants. She was a snow-white pegasus mare with a two-tone pink and blue mane and a Rod of Asclepius within a heart on her flank. The only reason I could tell that she was wearing a lab-coat was because of the name-badge that read Dr. Feather Grace, and the pink stripe going up her sleeve.

The mare was trotting in on three legs, with a clipboard cradled in her foreleg, but it did not appear as though she noticed I was awake yet. If anything, her attention seemed almost entirely focused on whatever notes were on my chart. I somehow doubt that they know that I used to have a bad habit of getting my dumb ass hospitalised when I was a foal.

I quickly remedied that absence of attention by letting out a gentle cough and hoarsely asking, "Could someone take this thing off my head?" There was a pitcher of water and a glass on a table beside me, but the moment I tried to levitate it over...

*Tap*

"Damn it," I grumbled, wishing my legs weren't strapped down. My hooves desperately wished to rub at my horn, which now felt like a fucking tuning fork. "I'm gonna have a migraine if that thing keeps tapping my horn."

It took the mare a couple of moments to realise that I'd spoken. When she looked up and my eyes met hers, she visibly shivered, as though she weren't used to seeing slit-pupils. Or maybe it was how creepy a croaked voice sounds when it has that weird dual-layer effect. At least when she got over that fact, she quickly rushed over and took the weird horn-tapper device off of me.

"Ah, Queen Anonymous! You're finally awake!" Doctor Grace exclaimed. When she noticed my attempt to light my horn to levitate over the pitcher of water fail, barely an aura flickering around the object, she quickly filled a glass and carefully helped me drink it. "You may find your body—and maybe your magic, as well—to be quite weak right now. You've spent the last month in bed, and quite sick, at that."

That proclamation caused me to tense, which in turn caused me to cough and sputter as I ended up with water in my lungs. "W-what happened? Where am I?" I asked when I no longer felt like I was gonna cough all over the nice mare. "Last thing I clearly remember is singing karaoke at the Nightmare Night party."

That caused the mare to raise an eyebrow and glance at her notes. "So you don't recall all but cocooning your friends in wax cells, calling them your 'eggies', or going out to sea and catching a tuna?" My face must have shown the horror I was feeling, because she just shook her head pityingly. "You seemed to have come down with several viral infections all at once, although the flu seems to have been what put you in that initial state of delirium." She glanced down at my chart before listing off, "Influenza, feather flu, horsey hives, pony pox, measles, and rotavirus. Let me tell you, nothing in medical school prepares you for a changeling vomiting." With a bit of a shiver, she muttered, "So much black stuff everywhere..."

She nodded once before turning her attention back to me. "You're very lucky your friends were able to get you to Zephyr Heights General Hospital. You were very touch-and-go for a little while." She let me have another glass of water. "Something must have really stressed your body out and suppressed your immune system, because most of those viral infections got in deep, and you only finally began to rebound in this last week."

After telling me to get some rest, and that she would inform my friends that I was conscious and lucid, she finished unstrapping me and told me to get some rest. That was of course easier said than done. She said that I'd been here for a month, which meant that I lost all of November to work on transcribing the Hearth's Warming pageant script. I probably couldn't get that and Mom's favourite Hearth's Warming story transcribed now, and I'd rather share the history rather than just a story referencing it.

So I simply lay in bed taking stock of my body. There was of course the intravenous line and the air feed in my nose, but that wasn't all. Someone had also taken the time to give me the catheter treatment, although I'm sure I was vexing them to no end. After all, my body didn't need to expel waste the 'natural' way all that often. I can just imagine some poor nurse going up to Doctor Grace and saying, 'I think there's something wrong with her. No matter how much water we give her, her urine is infrequent and always dark like she's dehydrated.' Wonder if one of my friends relayed what I told them way back when I first moved in?

Other than that, my sinuses were somewhat congested—though I could feel the pressure slowly bleeding away the longer I was awake—and my lungs were full of phlegm. The former I couldn't really do anything about, but I had no doubt that I could clear my lungs out lickety-split once I was feeling stronger. There was also this horrific itching at all of my joints, probably leftover from the measles, pony pox, and the horsey hives.

Probably the worst of it was my wings. I know that elytra technically counted as a forewing, but functionally—at least for me—all they did was protect my more delicate bug wings. Put a different way, it could be described as a foreskin for the wings. It served as protection, but required a lot of hygienic care. Sweat, chitin flakes, and even parasites like wing mites—even if you're not a pegasus, those dumb little shits don't care—get trapped in there, and without proper cleaning, it's a right mess.

Right now, I could feel a vaguely slimy sensation beneath my elytra, as well as the occasional sensation of something moving. What that meant was that nobody had been properly caring for my hygiene for about a month. Even if I couldn't exactly blame the pegasi for not knowing how to care for my wings, it still disgusted me. It'd prevent me from fully transforming in a safe manner, but worse, I worried I might have to cut my wings off and spend mass to regrow them.

Maybe half an hour later, a nurse caught me trying—and failing—to transition from being on my back to being in the loaf position. I, for one, hated being on my back because of some trauma I unpacked during my years of therapy. Two ponies were never meant to share one body, and when Emerald started waking up all those years ago, I received all sorts of unwanted memories that I managed to repress for a time. Couple that with what I sometimes had to do to survive as a human, and being on my back just made me feel so weak and powerless.

Plus, being on my back makes it much easier for sweat to collect there.

After the nurse helped me get into a more comfortable position, I mentioned that I needed his help in cleaning my wings. Admittedly, asking some random pegasus to effectively preen me wouldn't have been the most socially acceptable thing, given that it's supposed to be something very intimate to them. Luckily, this was a medical professional and he didn't take it at all in the wrong way.

He quickly fetched a washcloth and some soapy water, although I warned him not to get any of it on my inner wings, 'cause soap could fuck them up. When I spread my elytra and fanned out my wings, a rather foul smell reached my nose, and the nurse gagged, dropping the cloth into the bucket, darting from the room. Dr. Grace Feather was horrified when she was brought in.

When they told me I had a fungal infection and that there was mould on my wings, I inwardly sighed and asked them to show me a picture. When they showed the degree of mould—large swaths of the once pristine glassy wings were covered in black, and some of the wing surface looked to have been eaten away—I simply told them to just take care of the inside of my elytra and the carapace beneath the wings themselves with as strong a cleaning solvent they could, and that we could just cut the wings off. That of course got a loud objection from the mare. Yeah, yeah, do no harm.

When I lifted my free foreleg to my mouth and bit a chunk right out of the chitin and flesh beneath, spilling green haemolymph on the bedsheet, the nurse fainted and the doctor recoiled as I swallowed it down. Despite the pain that one action put me in, I quickly focused on my body's innate transformative magic, willing the limb whole once more. A weak blue flame raced up my foreleg just past the place I bit into, and when it passed over, there was little more than a depression in my shell.

Just how much did I vomit!? I wondered when they finally consented to operating. In the meantime, they got out some industrial cleaners; that'd probably require some mass spent on healing up chemical burns, but I'd rather have to heal my wings and elytra all at once. In the meantime, I'd have to convince them to get me a one tonne hay bale for some quick mass. I shouldn't have had any problem regenerating just that little chunk.

~ "Anon, go home!" ~

A few days later, when I was finally able to regenerate my wings and the chemical burns from what they used to get rid of the mould, the hospital staff was ready to release me. I was still really weak, and probably needed to directly feed from somepony, but they were confident I wasn't in any more danger. That said, I was restricted to bed rest until I could actually stand on my own.

Which means I won't have enough time to get the play manuscript out this year. Damn.

After having taken stock of my reserves, I was almost terrified by how little mass I had stored. Legitimately, I'm surprised I didn't have any holes forming yet. This also meant that I couldn't do the easy thing and project spells onto my carapace for quick use. That meant that I either had to finally learn how to horncast something other than telekinesis, or go back to the tried and true method of keeping useful spells on my person.

Maybe it's time to consider that idea I had about shrinking down spell slates and putting them into baubles to be hung from a necklace. At the very least, I might wanna get my Magic Storage spell put into an earring.

It was while I was being wheeled out of an elevator, puzzling over where all my stored biomass went that I remembered something the doctor said when I woke up. 'Nothing in medical school prepares you for a changeling vomiting.' Rotavirus was one of those ones that provoked vomiting, wasn't it? Flu too! That must've been a lot of vomit.

Come to think of it, though, I don't think I've ever regurgitated stored mass without the express purpose of creating hive resin... There was that time in that cage where I lost a bunch of cake, but... I don't think the gland activated back then. An image formed in my mind of the inside of a hospital room like the one I'd spent several weeks in, every inch covered in the most versatile building material known to changelings... Then an image of the outside of a multistory building with a flood of the stuff coming out a window before hardening. "Say, nurse?" I asked in faux innocence, going so far as to use the voice I used to use as a foal. "I'm not gonna be receiving a bill for the clean-up of an excessive amount of hardened black resin, am I?"

From the reflection on the polished steel of the elevator door, I caught the shiver from the nurse. He tried not to meet my reflection's gaze, but he couldn't quite hide the haunted look in his eyes. "No... nothing quite like that happened," he murmured. "I think the admins had to get a hazardous waste company to come and take away all the black gel... stuff you filled an entire wing with, but we aren't about to punish you for being sick."

Hazardous waste disposal, huh? I guess I'm not gonna get to ask to get all that stuff back. It'd probably be nasty as all fuck essentially eating barf, but that was almost fifteen years of accumulated mass I had to replace now... Not counting what was used and replaced when I was transforming into ancient dragons. The worst part was that I knew that it'd be a few months before I could manage a form big enough to do the tree thing again.

When the elevator door opened, and I was wheeled out into a lobby, I was surprised to find all of my friends waiting for me. They'd all been a bit to visit me at some point over the last few days, but everyone besides Misty and Alphabittle showed up to take me home. Even Queen Haven was there waiting. Apparently they'd all been checking in on me during the time I was out of it, but some sort of shenanigans kept them from me when I woke. They were all hugs or hellos.

Not that I wasn't happy to see them, but there was this super awkward vibe around everyone but Haven. Like, they were happy to see me, but none of the six I regularly saw could look me in the eye. Their emotions were a bit weird too. Like, all of them radiated embarrassment in addition to the usual philia they directed toward me. Some of them, though, namely the unicorn of the group I could feel a different flavour of love from: storge—just like the love Pipp and Zipp directed to their mother.

Honestly, I could see that coming as far as Misty was concerned. I was trying to be a big sister to her, but at times I wondered if I wasn't getting too close to mothering her. Looking back, I think I was actually more protective of her than I was with my own adoptive sister. Was I not trying to guide her on the right path, protecting her from Opaline, and looking out for her well-being? I wouldn't be surprised in the least to find Misty looking at me like that the next time I saw her.

Izzy was a bit weirder. Although our friendship wasn't sexual, there were plenty of times where the mare could be interpreted as being flirtatious. Sometimes, I even had to wonder if she wasn't doing it on purpose, yet there was never any lust. Sure, her philia was often tinged with ludus—indulgent or playful love—but she struck me as the sort of mare that wouldn't propose anything if she thought a potential partner wasn't okay with the idea. It felt wrong to feel storge from her, especially with the associated embarrassment.

"I suppose I got some explaining to do regarding what apparently happened on Nightmare Night," I began as Izzy took over with the wheelchair and started wheeling me out. "Much like ponies have oestrus, changelings have something of a breeding cycle as well. Normally, it's no more powerful than a regular mare's heat, and mine have never been particularly bad in the past..."

I shrugged as we went. On some billboard TV screen, some newscasters were talking about my release from the hospital and doing a little blurb on my history. We all paused momentarily as the broadcast began to play a video clip of ponies opening the time capsule I'd been stored within, and me climbing out. "Ahh! After ten thousand years, I'm free!" the deranged sleepy bug on the screen announced as she stretched. "It's time to conquer Equestria!"

With a snort and a shake of my head, I redirected. "I noticed that time Sparky went missing and got himself trapped in the storage room that I was having certain desires." This got a really weird look from all of them. "It wasn't so much a desire for sex so much as it was a desire to nurture larva and nymphs. You can't begin to understand how hard it is being the only one of your species, and hyper-compatible with just about every sapient species..."

It didn't take long for us all to enter the elevator to the royal district of the city. "I dunno if it was just all the mares in heat around me setting off the instincts, having established a nest under the Brighthouse, or being around a baby dragon for too long, but..." I swallowed. "Maybe it was the fever, Posey propositioning me, or just all the stress, but I guess in my delirious state, my brain decided you were all a part of my swarm... That you were my children, larva to be protected until they emerged as nymphs..."

Even as many of the ponies tried to squeeze in a hug, I found myself crying, and I didn't understand why. "It's hard, you know? Knowing that you're responsible for an entire species living or dying?" I whimpered. "My body wants nothing more than for me to pop out a clutch of eggs and begin repopulating the changelings, but how could I do that when Mom wanted me to watch over and guide you? How could I bring more foals into the world when I've already got five beautiful fillies and a colt to take care of just as much as they take care of me?" I shot an apologetic look to Queen Haven as I continued to rant. "I know they're not mine, but I can't control the instinct and it's driving me crazy."

Author's Note

Yes, the ending is intended to be and feel incomplete. Just like Anon's heart.

Prologue: "Hi, my name is..."
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Vlogs of an Ancient Insect

Prologue: "Hi, my name is..."

I stared down at the smartphone resting atop my hoof. It still struck me as odd that these ponies ended up using touch-screen technology. Still, seemed like everyone had one, so of course it was one of the first purchases I made in order to fit in, as well as one of those harness pouches a lot of ponies wore to carry them. "You really think this'll work?" I asked, arching an eyebrow at the pale fuchsia pegasus sitting across the table from me. Even now, I wondered how she could fly with feathers that looked more like down than flight feathers. "Just talk about myself on a video blog and everyone will see that I'm not scary just because I'm black?"

That got a cringe from Princess Pipp Petals—Ugh, God knows how long I've been asleep and these horses still do alliteration—and she quickly looked around to see if anyone had heard us. At that moment, it wasn't even like the comment was particularly true; I was currently wearing an appearance I still tended to wear when I just wanted to blend in. As far as anyone on the outside saw, I was just a bespectacled, green earth pony mare, sitting there getting social media advice from a local celebrity.

We were situated at an outdoor table beside a smoothie cart operated by her friend, Sunny Starscout. "You know it's not like that," she said, not at all sounding convinced herself. "It's just... you didn't exactly make a good first impression."

I nodded, smiling fondly at the memory. Even if I did cause a huge panic and alienate myself like a huge fuckin' moron, the reactions on everyone's faces were priceless. Like, what would they have done if I'd actually been a super-villain? These ponies could barely control the new and improved magic. They were nowhere near ready to protect themselves.

"That smile doesn't really help, you know," admonished Sunny, approaching with a tray of smoothies. She was radiating a particularly spicy flavour of aggravation. "It's like you don't even feel bad about the scare."

"Oh, come on!" I faux-whined, grabbing the smoothie set down in front of me. "You seriously wouldn't try and prank a bunch of people after being asleep for thousands of years?" Sipping at the chocolate-strawberry smoothie under their withering glares, I sighed. That's good shit. "Fine, I'll even apologise. Until ponies don't think I'm some bug monster here to conquer them all, I probably shouldn't transform outside. Know a spot I can do the first vlog?"

The two young mares seemed to think it over. I knew that Pipp's salon, the Mane Melody, had some private spaces, although I didn't want ponies avoiding her business if they thought I might be lurking around. Similarly, the Crystal Brighthouse was their home. Not just Pipp and Sunny, but also Sheriff Hitch, Zipp Storm, and that zany unicorn, Izzy Moonbow. I didn't want ponies avoiding the place thinking I was living there with the others.

As it stood, I didn't really have my own place yet. Sure, I'd gotten a good trade for some old Equestrian Bits I kept on me, but since I couldn't exactly flood the market, it wasn't like I was rolling in it. I just stayed in a motel I'd gotten a good deal on for an extended stay. Still, if I filmed there, someone might recognise the place.

The other fear I had was the potential of a lynch mob. I hadn't been around for the reunion of Twilight's Unity Crystals, but I'd heard the story of how the former deputy went crazy, formed a lynch mob, and destroyed Sunny's place when he found out there were unicorns and pegasi there. The fear wasn't for me though; I could handle myself. It was them I worried about; especially if I ended up scaring them more.

Tapping her chin, Sunny began to look over in the direction of the beach. "There's a sea-cave over on the far side of the beach," she offered. "Nopony really goes there much during the day because it can be hard to get out when the tide comes in. The cliff up above is a popular ocean-gazing spot though."

I nodded, slurping down the smoothie with gusto. Pretty sure I remember the spot. I think I grilled and ate some mackerel in there the other day. Still can't believe today's pegasi don't eat fish. "I know the place," I said. Setting down the empty shake container and phone on the table, I gave the two an apologetic look. "I take it you want to look over the video before I post it?"

When they nodded, I glanced around. Once I was certain no body was looking, I reverted the last segment of my right foreleg to chitin beneath the table. In a quick flash of blue, the runic spell formula to a useful bag-of-holding type spell appeared etched in my shell. Pressing my left hoof against it, I pumped magic through it into the formula, and then reached that same hoof out into the space beside me. The pair looked on in interest and partial horror as my leg disappeared up to the elbow into seemingly nothing. When it next came out, I held a five bit note out to Pipp.

Before Pipp could protest reimbursement for the drink—she was way too nice about trying to help me fit in, and reminded me a lot of Rarity in that regard— I slid the note across the table. Sure, she's a princess and probably had bits to spare, but paying ponies back will keep me honest. I had already transformed a pair of wings onto my body as I slipped my phone into the harness strapped across my barrel. "I'll stop by your place sometime after dusk."

Sunny perked up immediately at that. "Oh! Can you answer more questions about what Equestria was like back then?" We both said the exact same thing, in the exact same intonation, and the exact same voice, much to Sunny's chagrin. "Hey, no fair!"

There was a giggle-snort from the actual pegasus of the group as she tried to hide the fact that she'd definitely just caught that on camera. Only known them all a short while, but I swear that phone of hers almost never leaves her hooves. "You got it," I cackled, taking off. "I can tell you about the first time I met Mom."

The view of the city from above was quite a sight. It reminded me of an ocean-side town I'd seen in my first life, before being reborn as a pony and then a changeling. What had it been called? For the life of me, I couldn't tell, to be honest. It'd been more than fifteen years since the first change, and years here were longer than they were back in the old life. A thousand days multiplied by fifteen, divided by three sixty-five... That's forty-one years back in the old life. Little wonder I can't remember the name.

It really was beautiful, though. I had no idea how they powered anything, but there was no pollution to be seen. A tram ran around the city on a regular schedule, and if you didn't need to rush, you could walk just about anywhere you needed to go, thus eliminating the need for cars. There were plenty of green spaces, too. Nothing quite like a community garden, but I'm sure one would look good near the Crystal Brighthouse.

The beach was especially nice. Several mares lay on towels in the sands below, soaking up the afternoon sun while they kept an eye on the foals in or around the water. Ponies of all ages frolicked and played, constructing sandcastles or tossing beach balls. It was all rather idyllic. There was no hatred or strife here. Not at all like the world I left behind, thousands of years ago.

Touching down on the sands not far from the cliffs, I found myself yearning for the day when I could bask in the sun in my natural form. The hot sands and sun would feel so nice against my shell. Instead, I casually made my way around to the cave. It was quite a large space, but I found myself wondering if it was really all that stable. Once I was at the back of the cave, I dismissed the wings of my transformation. There was even a good stone outcropping to set my phone out on.

Opening the camera app, I saw myself reflected on the screen. A tap of my hoof later, a blinking red dot indicated it was recording. "Hi there, Maretime Bay," I greeted, stepping back so my full body could be seen. "You don't know me, but my name is Anonymous Flicker."

Dismissing my transformation, I watched as my light green coat disappeared in a wave of blue magical flame, replaced by hard black chitin—exquisitely glossy from good health and proper polishing. My mane, on the other hand, transitioned from a charcoal black to a green a few shades lighter than my disguise's coat. Without any more need for them, I clipped my glasses to my harness, and I gave a gentle smile. Extra care was taken not to show off my teeth too much, especially with the slit-pupils often seen in cats and reptiles, but there was no hiding how pointy they were when in my natural state.

"I am what is known as a changeling," I explained. "Although I don't know if there are any still around in this era, Changelings are shape-shifters that feed on love and the energy emitted by positive emotions." I waved a hoof dismissively. "I know what you're probably thinking, but no, I'm not gonna pretend to be your loved-ones and suck you dry like those vampony myths that were old back when I was a foal."

To emphasise that point, I shrank myself down to the size I was when I was eight. Then I transformed into the earth pony filly I used to be before this transformation. "Believe it or not, I was raised by ponies, and didn't even become a changeling until I was eight." Transforming myself back to normal, I shrugged. "I've found that love and positive emotions are more filling when they're directed at me, but I'll never actively feed on others if I can help it. Just being around super positive, friendly ponies who care is more than enough to passively feed.

"No, I don't eat ponies," I said with a chuckle. "Other than emotions, I eat the same kinds of food as all of you." I caught the sound of voices other than my own reflecting off the cave walls. I transformed back into an earth pony and looked back at the camera. "I've started this vlog so that you can all get to know me better. To show you that I can be a friend of Maretime Bay, Bridlewood, and Zephyr Heights—that I'm not some menace like that prank upon my release made me seem. I wanna share my experiences with you all, and if you have any questions you might like to ask about changelings or the world as it was thousands of years ago, feel free to shoot me a message. I'm more than happy to talk."

Making my way over to the rock my phone was sitting on, I leaned in close, "This is your local ancient insect queen, signing off."

Vlog 01: On Shifting Shapes
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Vlogs of an Ancient Insect

Vlog 01: On Shifting Shapes

Lying on my back atop the roof of the Maretime Bay sheriff's office, I held my phone out in front of me. It'd been a few days since Pipp gave me some advice and helped reshoot the introduction video for release. She'd even been kind enough to share a link to my vlog on her own social media. Reactions were mixed, which was about what I'd expected to be honest. Some showed some genuine interest, some were calling the video a fake—it pissed me off somewhat that those ones were now trolling the purple pegasus princess because of it—and I'd gotten more than a few hate DMs because of it.

Still, from the questions I'd gotten, I'd found a good one to address. Someone by the alias DetectiveGumhoof asked, 'What is the extent of your shape-shifting abilities? Are there limits such as creature type? Can you become anypony you meet? Could you feasibly be beside a pony without them even knowing?' Sure, it was the sort of paranoia-fuelling question I probably shouldn't answer, but at the same time, if I showed I had nothing to hide and could be forthright with ponies, they might start trusting me a bit more.

Opening up the camera application, I put on my best smile, made sure my mane was looking superb, and that my horn looked just right. They were a lot different looking from what I remembered—a lot more slender and slightly more curved. Other than that, it was the same bespectacled face, and the exact same marks from a scalding I'd gotten as a foal.

Technically speaking, I could have held my phone with magic if I wanted to—I'd been able to since my horn started growing out after my second molt—but I couldn't be arsed after the day I'd had. I transformed a lot more than usual, and I was still waiting for the sugar boost from my chocolate banana smoothie to help regenerate some of the magic I burned off. It was just as easy, and added a bit more of a personal touch, to hold it myself.

Hitting the record button, I started, "It's a sunny, sunny day in Maretime Bay!" I gave a little wave. "It's your—hopefully—favourite changeling queen, Anonymous Flicker, and I'm here atop the sheriff's office—Shhh! Don't tell Sheriff Hitch!—" I giggled as I panned the camera angle to show the plaza below before panning back to me. "—to talk to all of you about changelings!

"A shout-out to user DetectiveGumhoof, who asked the extent of my abilities, as well as the limitations." I was tempted to do this next part au naturel, but my natural form was still causing a bit of a panic. "I know a lot of ponies are scared that I could be anywhere at any time, feeding on them like some psychic vampony. I wouldn't blame you. Back before I reincarnated as a pony, before my transformation, changelings were the boogeymares of our era. They were misunderstood, and sadly ended up under a mad queen who did her best to feed her swarm. It wasn't until a rogue drone showed them another way that things changed. Suddenly, changelings and ponies were allies, and by the time I transformed, I never once had to trick a pony for love."

I rolled my eyes, but kept smiling. "Kinda a weird thing to start with, but I wanted you to understand a bit before I answered the question properly," I delineated. "I can transform into any living thing, or inorganic thing like a rock, sure. If a thing can fly, so can I. The only thing I can't imitate is the magics of specific creatures. I'm also a bit ashamed to admit that I never got the hang of doing gills." Casting my gaze downward, checking if anyone had noticed me up here, I let out a sigh. "Rather than get into too many specifics and get you looking over your shoulder, how about the bet I made with Sheriff Hitch today instead..."

~ 01 ~

"Anon!" a stallion was calling out. I think I knew that voice, but I had one ear covered by headphones, listening to some of Pipp Petals' singles while I worked. Holding the flyer out with one hoof, I used a tape dispenser to apply some cello tape to the corners. "Anonymous Flicker! You get down from there this instant!"

Huh? I looked down toward the ground, and saw an amber pony in a cowboy hat staring up at me. There was the glint of a badge hanging off his pleather harness. There was also a baby dragon riding atop his back. Oh shit, that's Hitch, isn't it? Pulling my headphones back so that they were around my neck rather than my ears, and clipping the tape dispenser to my own harness, I stood up and waved. "Morning, Sheriff!" I called out, brushing my mane out of my face, which was no easy task given the way I was positioned. "What seems to be the issue?"

"She's joking right?" I wasn't sure if that muttered comment was directed at myself or Sparky. He gestured up at me, but particularly my hooves. "That. That whole thing. You don't have a permit for that!"

I looked down at my hooves, seeing nothing particularly wrong with what I was doing. "What, the posters?" I asked, reaching into the satchel attached to my harness to grab one. "Izzy asked me to help put these up where pegasi might see them while flying." I glanced down at the poster for said unicorn's Uni-Cycling business—portmanteau of unicorn and recycling, go figure—before slipping it back into the satchel. "I thought she said she had a permit to have ponies help put these up for her."

He stared up at me in exasperation, before dipping his head forward as he rubbed at his brow. "You don't have a permit to stand on walls like that!" he all but shouted. Yikes, someone hasn't had coffee yet this morning. Come to think of it, neither have I. "Get down from there before you hurt yourself."

I narrowed my eyes at him as I walked down the wall towards him. Yeah, so I was up the third story wall of a building putting up a poster. So what? As a changeling, something like sticking to walls is child's play, even in disguise. When I reached ground-level, I manually readjusted my mane until it was normal. "I don't think there's actually a city ordinance that prohibits it, Hitch," I said in a teasing voice. "Creating one on the fly sounds very unethical, and I imagine the other community leaders wouldn't approve of abuse of power, now would they?"

He puffed out his cheeks and looked away. "Yeah, well, you still shouldn't do it!" he exclaimed, pointing a hoof at my chest. "You'll give impressionable young ponies weird ideas! If somepony gets hurt trying to do something you do, they're not gonna like you any better. You can hardly fit in if you stand out like that."

Reaching over with one hoof, I tapped the brim of his stetson with enough force that it spun through the air before landing atop my head. While the brim covered up my face, I let my changeling magics adjust my appearance. When I lifted it up, my mane and tail had gone blonde, my coat a brilliant amber colour, I was dotted with cute freckles, and a trio of apples adorned my flank. I was certain, because I could see my reflection in a puddle.

"Hmmm, nah," I said in a country twang. He froze when I slipped past him, intentionally bumping the well-toned flanks of a certain apple-bucking mare against his. Running my tail under his chin might've been a bit too far, but he was a fun one to tease. "If'n ya don't mind, sugarcube, Ah'd like ta get back ta work."

When he spun around to snatch the hat off my head, I'd already reverted. "H-hey! That's my hat!" he cried out. As he slapped the hat back onto his head, only for a certain baby dragon to grab it and start gumming the brim. He didn't seem to notice, instead following behind me as I started scoping out another high spot. "Who was that pony, anyway? Sunny had toy that looked just like that when she was just a filly."

"Somepony important back then," I answered in a somewhat melancholic voice. "Just like Sunny has you, Izzy, Pipp, and Zipp, Twilight had Applejack, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, and Rarity. National heroes... friends... one big extended family, if I'm honest." I shrugged, "Look, if you're really that concerned about me hurting my chances of fitting in I'll make a bet with you."

When I offered my hoof, he eyed me with suspicion. "What kind of bet?"

"The kind where I stop walking on walls," I said, before quickly adding "where others can see," under my breath. "I'm gonna follow you around until the end of your mid-day rounds. I'll change my appearance up several times. We'll meet up at Sunny's shake cart for lunch, and you just have to point out three disguises I wore and where you saw them. That's if you can clock me."

That brought a smirk to his face. "You're on!" he said. "I'm not sheriff for nothing."

To make things simpler for me, since my belongings—and stuff I was borrowing from Izzy to put up her posters—would make me pretty obvious, he let me drop the stuff off in a cabinet in the sheriff's office before we started. He even gave me a map of his route so I could keep up with him in case I lost track of him. It was definitely shaping up to be an interesting day. The only other thing I kept on me was a small bit satchel I kept tucked in my mane. With a higher reliance on paper money, it wasn't as bad as keeping gold coins on me.

The first hour was fun. He had to respond to a call regarding a disorderly conduct. Two ponies had gotten into a dispute over the last copy of a certain book at the bookstore, and it was threatening to turn into a brawl. Most of the time there was spent deescalating and working things out. More than once he'd been caught looking over his shoulder trying to spot me. You would think the sheriff of a town that used to keep its eyes on the skies for ~~aerial terrors~~ pegasus attacks would be more used to looking up. There weren't that many ravens around Maretime Bay after all.

Next, he responded to a call from Izzy Moonbow of all ponies. While I sat beside a bush disguised as scrawny calico cat, he was talking to the wavy-maned unicorn. Turns out, she'd called in a missing pony on me, 'cause she hadn't heard from me in a bit, and my phone was off. When Hitch explained the bet, and that I was 'probably closer than she knew', she calmed down. The funny part was that when he said that, he was eyeing up an earth pony I think was named Posey.

It's a good thing that I'm good at internalising my laughter. It was all I could do not to start cackling until he was around the corner. Then I slid out from under the bush, hopped up on top of the moped she pulled her cart with, and looked at her. She didn't even bat an eye. "You could've just called," she commented as if it was the most natural thing in the world. Of all the ponies I'd met in Maretime Bay, Izzy was by far the most accepting of me. It helped that she reminded me a bit of a few ponies I knew back then. "I would've understood."

"Yeah, sorry," I replied in my normal voice. It didn't even faze me that her hoof was coming up to pet me. You wanna play cat-bug horse roulette? That's how you play cat-bug horse roulette. "He's just so... He's like a ball of yarn, you know? He makes me wanna give him a push and see the trail he leaves behind him."

"I know," she chirped. Her hoof touched down between my ears. "Oooh, your fur is soft!"

Why must that feel so nice?

"Sorry again, gotta go make him jump at shadows," I murmured as I hopped down from the moped seat. "Got any requests?"

"Oooh! Oooh! Do me!" she exclaimed. If I was actually in the market for a relationship, it might be fun to make a flirtatious response about phrasing, but this wasn't like playing head-games with a dude I thought could take it. Alas, maybe some other time. "I bet you could do a really good me!"

"Do I?" I asked in her voice. Blue flames encompassed my body as the much of the extra mass decompressed and ceased being lightened by the transformation magics. The only thing that I could find that was really off, or so my my reflection in her eyes told me, was the lack of her accessories. From previous experiences and experiments, complex ornamentation like the bracelet she wore around her left hoof were much more energy to replicate than was usually worth it. Simple stuff like AJ's hair ties were easy as transmuting some of the mane to behave like a tie. "I don't even know, but this is really, really cool!"

After making sure I still had my bit bag tucked in my mane, I spun on my hoof and gave her a quick smile over my shoulder before continuing along Hitch's route to catch up. "By other me!" we both called out to each other before giggling manically. Gosh, she's a nice pony. Pretty creative and fun to be around, too. She's kinda like a saner Pinkie Pie.

For the next half hour, I followed behind Hitch at a distance. Any time it looked as though he was about to glance in my direction, I'd start doing something Izzy would do—fixate on random shiny object I found on the ground, consider random junk for uni-cycling, some how end up with a tennis-ball stuck at the end of my horn... that sort of thing.

It was actually pretty fun, and I almost ended up losing Hitch once or twice. Occasionally somepony would ask me what I was doing, and I'd have to make up an excuse, but I'd already come up with the perfect excuse for if I met Sunny, Pipp, or Zipp. Lies are bad and all, but it was innocent enough, and besides... who knows. She might enjoy the idea if the others asked.

Funny enough, I don't think I was the only weird unicorn following Hitch today. There was this young blue mare... looked like she was in her late teens at most who was following him. Like, holy shit her mane was super frizzy, and her eyes were just as green as mine were when I wasn't in disguise. Still, it didn't seem like she was doing anything malicious... not that I could talk.

From up above, I heard somepony call out to ~~me~~ Izzy. "Hey, Izzy!" I looked up and saw the pegasus sisters coming down for a landing. Pipp was the first to speak. "I thought we just saw you at your cart, but you're also here. That's kinda weird."

"Or are you Anon?" Zipp asked in a tone of suspicion. "If so, does she know you're imitating her?"

With a giggle, I kept my eye on Hitch. He still had a ways to go before he turned. "Oh, hey girls," I said in that cheerful Izzy way. "Yeah, I asked Anon to watch my cart while I follow Hitch for some inspiration for some uni-cycling. I'm thinking about working the whole protect and serve angle! I've got all sorts of bobs and bits that'd really make that theme pop!"

Although the white mare still eyed me with suspicion, I could feel the pretty purple pegasus princess pass a point where her doubt waned. Giving Zipp a worried look, Pipp whispered, "I can't tell if she's telling the truth, or not." Her eyes flicked from her sister to me. "That's bad, right?"

That just got an eye roll from the older sister as she pointed down to my left hoof. "Come on, Pipp, that's clearly Anon," Zipp said in a tone of exasperation. "Izzy never goes anywhere without her bracelet."

I never stopped smiling, though I glanced past the pair to hitch, who was close to the direction change in his route. "I asked Anon to hold onto it for me; I'd hate to lose it if I find something interesting or useful in a dumpster," I said, very pointedly winking my eye at them. "Oh, can you two go back to my cart and get Anon to write that idea down? Just mention Hitch. Anyway, I gotta go before my muse escapes! Bye bye!" I'm not sure if they got the hint to go pester the real Izzy about what's going on, or if they were just too bewildered by my behaviour, but they didn't give chase.

According to that map Hitch gave me, I could cut through two alleys, and end up ahead of him. It was the perfect opportunity to change into my next disguise. I even had an idea for my next disguise. I wanted to give him at least one win so he wouldn't feel too bad of being suspicious of everyone. Better yet, there was a coffee cart set up next to some tables where I could get a quick caffeine burst.

The moment I was in the first alley, I pictured that frizzy filly in blue. Bit of a shame her cutie mark looked painted on, but I didn't judge ponies for not knowing who they were yet. Even with a cutie mark, it took me a long-ass time to figure out who I really was. Then again, I also had a bunch of nonsense with living concepts trying to use me in their catty little games. I wonder whatever happened to Hunger, Harmony, and Discord.

"Why are you fol—" My thought distracted me just long enough for me to not realise I was about to bump into the very pony I was mimicking. Both of us ended up falling flat on our butts in the exact same position. Luckily I heard enough of her voice that I could extrapolate and mimic her. Time for a little fun. "What the... whoa!"

It was difficult, because it relied a lot more on anticipation than anything else, but as we both stood up and brushed ourselves off, I made sure to mirror her moves as close as possible. She leaned in close, and so did I, our noses just centimetres apart. "What is going on?" she asked herself, looking around in confusion. "Did Opaline cast a spell to make two of me?"

I felt like I should know that name, but more than that, I felt like I should be angry for hearing it. It was a very distinct name, and an important-sounding one. Was it one that I'd heard from before? Mom did imply I might end up with some janky memories if I was in stasis for too long.

When she leaned back away, I only leaned in closer. Her perplexion was quickly tinged with fear as I lifted a hoof towards her face. She almost looked like she thought she was about to get hit. Shit, kid. You're making me feel bad for trying to play a little prank. "Boop!" I announced with a giggle as the tip of my hoof poked her nose. "Haha, I booped your snoot!"

Before she could get out a reaction, I brushed past her and ran out into the street. I wonder if this is how Rainbow Dash felt all those times she pranked ponies. As I stepped into line behind a red pony that reminded me of a scrawny-ass Big Macintosh, I had an idea. Hitch was probably so busy jumping at shadows and suspecting the ponies he knew that he probably wouldn't even think twice about strangers in town. I could probably mimick more ponies from the past and he'd be none the wiser.

And I suppose if I did somehow throw this whole thing, going to him and getting a permit wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. I thought as Not-Mac finished taking his order. Assuming he goes and makes one.

The stallion at the counter actually greeted me with a smile. "Hey, Misty! I haven't seen you around in a while." Huh, so this girl's name is Misty, huh? I thought as I scanned his wares. "Gonna have your usual?"

I shook my head and gave an innocent little smile. "Actually, I was thinking of trying something different today," I replied pointing to the iced cappuccino maker. "Could I get an extra-large iced cappuccino, made with two shots of espresso and some chocolate milk?"

Even as he went to work, commenting about me being pretty tired to order that sort of system shock, I was watching Hitch go by out of the corner of my eye. I barely even thought as I levitated my bit satchel out of my mane and paid him. He seemed just as confused as he watched me tuck it back into my mane like it was normal. After he passed the iced-beverage, I bade him farewell and continued on my stalking adventure.

Honestly, this Misty filly must've been around a lot more than I'd've thought. I'd been under the impression she was either a tourist or new in town, and simply crushing on Hitch. Instead, as I walked down the street, looking around while I sipped my drink, ponies kept waving and greeting me by her name. It almost made me worried that all these ponies drawing attention to me would get Hitch on my case.

Later, once I finished my drink and ditched the cup—in the proper waste receptacle, but not just because he seems to have a preternatural sense about littering—I decided to get a bit daring. There's a cake shop up ahead on his route, and I knew the perfect disguise. I don't know which part was more entertaining: portraying the Sun Horse as a somewhat corpulent pegasus mare with a pink mane and a sun on her flanks, or the fact that nobody was getting upset for 'blaspheming the princess'. Not a single pony batted an eye when I bought the largest pre-made chocolate cake they had available and had them box it up to take away.

As much as I wanted to feast on the cake and make Celestia proud, I had a different plan. After following Hitch along to the last stretch of his route, I shrank myself down to the size of a foal. My last disguise would be in honour of a certain orange filly I knew. Interestingly, nobody even batted an eye when it happened right in the middle of the street. Hell, I got ballsy enough to pronk along just ten metres behind him, the cake balanced perfectly on my back.

By the time he reached Sunny's cart, I was definitely feeling a bit tired. Even the boost from the earlier coffee beverage couldn't quite mask the feeling of fatigue. I had just enough for one more transformation, and I figured, why not be a little generous? The moment he sat down with his back to the road and a baby dragon at his side, I made my second-to-last transformation of the day.

"Hello, Sunny," I said in posh, Canterlot accent, the likes of which I hadn't really heard since I got here. The orange mare's eyes sorta bugged out and she froze up for a moment as I fished out my payment from the hidden satchel. "Would you be a dear and make me a chocolate peanut butter smoothie?" Then I levitated the cake box off my back so that she could see it. "Then, if you're free, would you care to join us for a spot of cake?"

"Uh... sure?" She sounded anything but sure, but if I was right, I was practically a childhood toy of hers come life. "I'll just... I'll just bring it over when it's ready, Anon."

"Splendid!" I exclaimed, levitating the boxed cake along behind me. As I made my way around to the other side of the table Hitch was seated at, I smiled. "Well, Darling," I crooned. "Will I be free to continue walking on walls? Or is the creation of a new permit in order?"

His eye twitched as he looked at me. "Would you stop doing that? It's weirding me out!" he muttered. "As for your disguises, I don't know how many were actually you, but I'm pretty sure I caught you at least three times."

I listened in fascination as he started listing off a number of potential suspects. Although he didn't get my cat or raven disguises, he did clock onto me when I was disguised as Izzy. Similarly, he caught my Celestia and Scootaloo disguises easy enough, although he thought I'd been Posey while I was imitating that Misty filly.

Upon seeing that Pipp and Zipp were coming in for a landing, and Izzy was coming up the street with her cart, I decided to repeat my bag-of-holding spell act in order to produce a serving knife and seven paper plates. "So how'd you figure me out?" I said in my normal voice. "You didn't just single out the strangers because you hadn't met them before, I hope, because you didn't catch the crow, the cat, or that one young mare I imitated after following you as Izzy."

"Actually, I have Zipp to thank for that," he announced, giving the named mare a high hoof as she landed next to him. "She noticed the other day that all of your disguises, and even in your regular state, your cutie marks are all mirrored on the left side."

My eyebrow shot up as I started doling out cake. "Didn't you ever notice that our cutie marks are only ever on our right side?" Zipp asked, a bit sceptical. "Not once?"

"Huh, no kidding?" With a sigh, I sat a piece of cake out for Sunny. "Time to sound like an old mare—" My voice shifted into a raspy sounding voice modelled after a certain family's ancient matriarch. "—but back in my day, ponies had their cutie marks on both flanks. Foals these days just half-flank everything."

~ 01 ~

"... so yeah," I concluded, meeting the camera with my gaze, "Even if I can imitate ponies, it doesn't mean you have to worry that everypony you meet might be me in disguise. I know tonnes of ponies from an era long past, and if you're really that concerned, check and see if both flanks are marked."

From down below, I could hear Hitch shouting. "Anonymous Flicker, you better not be up on the roof," I heard him yell. "If you are, you get down right this moment."

Flashing the camera a smile, I whispered, "This is your local ancient bug queen, signing off." I ended the video and quickly sent a copy to Pipp. Upload could wait for any editing that might need to be done. As I tucked my phone into the case attached to my harness, I transformed into a pegasus variant of my normal pony disguise. "Oh, sorry, Hitch; was that another thing I need a permit for?" I asked as I lifted off from the roof. "I just wanted to catch a little sun before I get back to that job for Izzy."

~ Elsewhere ~

In a dark and menacing castle, not far from Maretime Bay, there lived a mean and grumpy alicorn queen. Also living there was a young unicorn named Misty. It was Misty that did all the shopping for the castle, as was she the one doing all the hoofwork in Queen Opaline's many schemes. Although she wasn't treated the greatest, the promise of receiving her cutie mark was enough to keep the young mare loyal.

"Opaline, Opaline!" the aforementioned young unicorn exclaimed, bursting into Opaline's chamber of dark and evil magics. "I just had the weirdest thing happen to me!"

Rolling her eyes, the alicorn looked away from the pool through which she viewed Maritime Bay and its denizens. "What is it now, Misty?" Opaline groaned. A massive headache weighed on her mind, and the gullible young mare's voice wasn't helping. She could've sworn that she saw ponies who were dead and gone long ago, but every time she tried to follow them, she'd lose track, only to find another relic of the past. Had one of the Elements of Harmony really been dining with Sunny and her companions, or were the years catching up with her?

"I met myself in an alley today!" Misty exclaimed, coming to join her dark master near the viewing pool. "I was even doing all the things I did, only reversed!"

There was a momentary twinge of concern for her underling, fearing brain damage, but the dark alicorn quashed that rather quickly. "That is called a reflection, Misty," she said in exasperation as she rubbed her head. "I shouldn't need to go over how mirrors work with you."

"Nuh-uh!" Misty answered with confident defiance, looking rather proud of herself. "A mirror can't boop your snoot, and I definitely booped my snoot in that alley."

Opaline stared at the young mare in disbelief. "You what?"

That disbelief transitioned to horror, and then surprise, before finally settling on rage when Misty leaned in close. She extended her hoof out, and poked her mistress in the snout. "Boop!" she exclaimed, seemingly not noticing the vein now pulsating on her boss's temple. "I booped your snoot!"