Chapters View Online
Slay the Alicorn Princess
001: You're on a path in the woods... (The Alicorn)
"You're on a path in the woods," a patrician voice says, "--and you're going to slay the Princess."
"I'm going to what?" you say.
"You're going to slay the Princess," the patrician voice, an arrogantly presumptive well-enunciated toff's, declares.
"What? Why? And who are you?" You turn your head around, trying to get a fix on the voice's source. It's not above, below, or behind that suspiciously large tree trunk. You walk to a clearing.
"I am the narrator. I tell this story." The voice remains at the same volume and level.
"But I have free will."
"Only a little. Sorry-not-sorry."
"Where are you?" you ask.
"I am here. With you."
"In my head?"
"One supposes that is the most simple explanation."
"Excuse me," you say, frowning, because you certainly wouldn't be smiling in this situation--I know what you're thinking, so don't try to be clever and go off-script.
"I can hear you saying that," you say. "Even the bit that isn't speaking--like it's narrating something."
"I did say I was the narrator."
"But why does it feel so extra-textual? It's like I had your voice in my head and then a narration that was slightly different--"
"--your inner monologue. I have some influence over that," and that explains the situation so well that you do not waste time pondering it any more.
"Okay," you nod.
"Jolly good. That said, we are on a time limit, so let's move ahead."
"Okay..." you say. "I'm supposed to slay a Princess. Why? And with what?"
"Not to worry. We'll take care of that. Just get on toward the cabin and everything will be all right."
"But why am I supposed to slay this Princess? Is she a threat?"
"If you don't, she'll end the world."
"Really?"
"Really."
"And you know this, how?"
"That does not matter. Trust me."
"And who are you ?"
"The 'you' in this story is 'you', not me."
"I mean who are you? What is your name?"
"I am the 'voice inside your head'. As I said before, I am the narrator," the narrator says.
"Usually when people hear voices inside their heads telling them to kill someone--it later turns out they probably shouldn't have listened to those voices...."
"I know, but you can trust me."
"And if I don't trust me, you can just re-write what I do?"
"Not precisely. There are limits. And rules."
"What rules?"
"You need not concern yourself about that triviality."
"Sure...." You walk a different direction than the one the wise voice inside your head requested you to tread. But, you end up back at the road in the woods, facing the cabin.
"Is this a dream?" you ask.
"... Certainly, one supposes. That works. This is a dream. Let us go with that," the voice says. "Let us get on with some original material now, chop-chop."
You sigh and open your mouth to object.... But, the words freeze in your throat. Feeling the weighty burden of narrative fiat, you start your walk down the path, up the hill, to the cabin.
Inside the nearly-bare wooden cabin, you see a table with a dagger laying atop it. And, there's a simple wooden door, which must be leading downstairs since the cabin had no second story.
Surprisingly, you have a choice.
GoTo: A. Pick up the dagger and go downstairs.
B. Go downstairs without picking up the dagger.
Author's Note
Follow red hyperlinks at the end of the chapter (above) rather than proceeding sequentially.
Slay the Princess, the source game, is a visual novel about uncovering a mystery .
This is a journey, rather than something to "win," although there are hints to a more "successful" path (e.g. you slay or free or wait). The Index at the end is a checklist of experiences.
Whatever 'ending' you reach is not necessarily an end. "Endings" give hints as to what is really going on.
Encounter additional Princesses as you shape your journey.
Follow red hyperlinks at the end of the chapter (above) rather than proceeding sequentially.
Slay the Alicorn Princess
002: Pick up the dagger and go downstairs.
Author's Note
STOP and go back
Otherwise, proceed!
002: Pick up the dagger and go downstairs.
RE: Pick up the dagger and go downstairs.
You pick up the dagger, a lovely dagger, quite sharp, jeweled and glistening with wondrous magic.
"It's just a typical dagger," you say.
"If you say so," the narrator says.
"I do say so," you say.
"Have fun!" The narrator's voice twinkles... to the extent a voice can twinkle.
All that remains is to open the door and to go downstairs--which you do.
"He-hello?" A feminine voice calls out from below.
You reach the bottom of the stairs and behold your quarry: a... pony who is wearing a tiara. A purple pony wearing a tiara. A purple princess pony wearing a tiara?
"Have you come to set me free?" the pony princess asks, her voice echoing in the nearly empty room.
"Are you a princess?" you ask, confirming the obvious.
"Yes! I am Princess Twilight Sparkle." She's not quite a pony though, you notice. She also has a prominent horn sprouting from her forehead and wings and a chain securing one of her forelegs to a wall.
"You're a pegasus?" you ask. "And a unicorn?"
"An alicorn. I have the strength of earth ponies, the flight of the pegasi, and pivotal magic of the unicorns."
"Okay."
"I see you have a dagger. To free me from my binding?" she asks, tugging at the chain.
"Sure," you shrug.
"I'm not sure it will be able to cut through," she sighs. "Do you have a key?"
"Nope," you say.
She sighs. "No trouble. I'm sure I will find some way to get out of these chains." Her voice hardens and deepens. "One way or another."
"I was told," you say, "that if you get free, you'll end the world."
She laughs a manic quick titter. Then, she stops. "Oh, you were serious."
"Yes."
"But why would you think that?"
"Some disembodied voice told me you'd end the world."
"I see." Her eyes narrow.
"Anything to say about that?"
"It sounds crazy." She raises an eyebrow.
"Yes."
"But you're going to free me, right?"
"You're a pony... a magical pony."
"Yes."
"That's pretty freaky."
"I think it's pretty freaky that you're not a pony."
You shrug. "Ponies don't talk where I'm from. At least, where I think I'm from."
"Having memory troubles?"
"I guess."
"So am I," she wets her upper lip. "Maybe we're both victims?"
"What sort of memory problems?"
"I... recognize you, and I feel like I may have spoken to you before, but then again, that can't be. We haven't been here before. Our story's just starting."
"Hmm..." you muse, noncommittally.
"I'm sure that once I get free, though, that everything will become a bit clearer. Please, this chain is really painful and I haven't eaten in quite a while. I don't even remember how long it's been. And Equestria needs me! Without me, it might devolve into a squabbling bunch of fearful tribalist groups--that would be apocalyptic!""
"How long have you been here?"
"I dunno. Days. Weeks?"
"Really?" You scour the room again, trying to find evidence of refuse. "What have you been drinking? Eating?"
"I dunno. Does it matter?"
"It doesn't matter," the narrator says.
"Did you just imprison her recently?" you ask.
"I didn't do anything," the narrator says.
"Really..."
"Essentially... specifically..." the narrator dissembles.
"What are you talking about?" The princess asks.
"You don't hear that voice?"
"I hear your voice."
"Don't worry about it. One more question... How did you get here--in this basement?"
"I... don't know. All I remember is... Starlight Glimmer was casting a somewhat complex spell and then I fell unconscious and woke up here."
"Who?"
"Starlight Glimmer--my former student and... something else. She's brilliant."
"Sure she wasn't trying to take over your royal lands by sending you here?"
"Is it her voice in your head?"
"No. Probably not. It was some older gent's voice."
""She wouldn't change her voice.... She's too vain and cisnormative.... despite the company she keeps."
"What?"
"Never mind... the idea just popped into my head. But can I trust it?"
You shrug.
"Did the voice say he was Discord? Did he speak with quirky insane tones? Or maybe it was Tirek--deep, domineering, and like an upset stomach?"
"No, neither of those sound right."
"Hmm..." she cogitates. "It could have been Chrysalis... she wouldn't have a problem with playing a part like that...."
"Will you be finishing your task?" the narrator asks. "Or will we all be dying in horrible and endless pain because you let the princess escape and END THE WORLD!"
The princess shows no sign of hearing the voice--even its shout.
"Are you manipulating me?" you ask the voice.
"Does anything about this seem right?" the narrator pleads.
"Not at all." You tilt your head in askance with some agreement.
"But Chrysalis would need to manipulate a body.... So, it couldn't be her." The princess keeps mulling over her options.
"It's quite simple," the narrator says. "Get close to her, plunge your dagger in, and this is over. You'll have saved the world. You want to be a hero. You and I know something's wrong. Didn't you notice how she said she hadn't eaten in a long time and had been here a long time--how long? There's no refuse bucket and no waste. She's clearly not a person."
"I'm not so happy with the depersonalization you're suggesting..."
You stop arguing with the narrator and make the decision that's closest to what your heart suggests.
"My mind feels so clear..." you note.
"Surprising, innit? It is wonderful that I still have this much influence. But," he sighs. "You will need to make the ultimately most important decision. I hope I did enough."
"I really can't properly brainstorm who among my coterie of villains could do this?" the princess sighs. "My mind is really muddled. I really need to get loose. The pain of these chains is messing with my mind. They might be magical!" Sweat drops from her brow and she starts jerking around. "It's so annoying, so real annoying that I can't think. I know that thinking is important. And books. There are no books here!" Her eyes widen in horror at the bare room. "We need books. Books hold truth and truth will set us free. Or work will--or, maybe that's not an appropriate analogy. Offensive? This whole situation is offensive. And wrong. This is wrong . So wrong." Her hooves kick out.
"Be calm... Calm and friendly..."
"Friendly. Friend? Are you saying you're my friend?"
"I'm--"
Her face scrunches up into a twisted ball of insanity. "That's on the tip of my mind! Starlight Glimmer wasn't just my student. She was my friend. And you were... you're familiar. I had six friends. Maybe five? Were they all ponies?" she winces and looks at her chain-adorned fetlock. "There's something really wrong with this chain."
"I've gotta get close to finish this up," you warn her, showing the dagger. "Please, be a... friend and keep still."
"I suppose you could give sawing at the chain a try," she says. "If my magic didn't work, maybe brute force will? Not saying that you're a brute of course, but it's a form of expression. And once I'm free, my mind will clear and we can figure out what that voice is. That horrible voice you're hearing must have been what caused Starlight's spell to misfire! I'm glad you're being so friendly by helping me escape," she smiles wide, displaying her surfeit of gleaming white teeth.
GoTo: A. Slay the Princess
B. Free the Princess
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Slay the Alicorn Princess
003: Go downstairs without picking up the dagger.
You go downstairs without picking up the dagger.
"That's a terrible idea," the narrator says.
"You're a terrible idea," you say.
"You're going to regret this," the narrator says.
"I'd regret killing an innocent more," you say.
"I have made a terrible mistake," the narrator sighs.
You wind your way down a tight staircase until you arrive at its base and see at the end of a surprisingly well-lit room a... pony who is wearing a tiara. Flames flicker from torches, illuminating a purple pony wearing a tiara: a purple princess pony wearing a tiara?
"Have you come to set me free?" the pony princess asks, her voice echoing in the nearly-empty room.
"Are you a princess?" you ask, although the answer should be obvious.
"Yes! I am Princess Twilight Sparkle." She shakes her prominent ruffled horn, ruffles her wings and, when she moves, you hear the scraping of a chain that secures one of her forelegs. She strains against the chain, but it grows taut since it's bolted into the stone wall.
"You're a pegasus?" you ask. "A unicorn?"
"An alicorn. I have the strength of an earth pony, the flight of a pegasus, and the proactive magic of a unicorn."
She pauses and turns her head, evaluating you. "Do you have a key?"
"Nope."
She sighs, "No trouble. I am sure I will find some way to get out of these chains." Her voice hardens. "One way or another."
"I was told," you say, "that if you get free, you'll end the world."
She laughs a tittering cacophony. Then, she stops. "Oh, you were serious."
"Yes."
"But why would you think that?"
"Some disembodied voice told me you'd end the world."
"I see," her eyes narrow.
"Anything to say about that?"
"It sounds crazy."
"Yes."
"But you're going to free me?"
"You're a pony... a magical pony."
"Yes."
"That's pretty freaky."
"I think it's pretty freaky that you're not a pony."
You shrug. "Ponies don't talk where I'm from. At least, where I think I'm from."
"Having memory troubles?"
"I guess."
"I... don't know. Why would you think that?"
"Your scaly hide... your claw..." she starts. Then, she shakes her head. "Doesn't matter. This chain is really painful and I haven't eaten in quite a while."
You note the lack of a refuse bucket... or any refuse on the ground.
"And Equestria needs me! Without me, it might devolve into a squabbling bunch of fearful tribalist groups--that would be apocalyptic!"
"How long have you been here?"
"I dunno. Days. Weeks?"
"Really?" You scour the room again, trying to find evidence of refuse. "What have you been drinking? Eating?"
"I dunno. Does it matter?"
"It doesn't matter," the narrator says.
"Did you just imprison her recently?" you ask.
"I didn't do anything," the narrator says.
"Really..."
"Essentially... specifically..." the narrator dissembles.
"What are you talking about?" The princess asks.
"You don't hear that voice?"
"I hear your voice," the princess says, scowling.
"Um... Maybe don't worry about it."
"But, I do worry about you... and that strange violent voice you said you've heard," she says, although you shouldn't believe her sincerity.
"Stop it!" you tell the narrator.
"Stop what?" she asks.
"Never mind. One more question... How did you get here--in this basement?"
"I... don't know. Starlight Glimmer was casting a spell and then I woke up here."
"Who?"
"My former student. She's quite brilliant."
"Sure she wasn't trying to take over by sending you here?"
"It isn't her voice in your head?"
"No. It's some older gent's voice."
"She wouldn't change her voice.... She's too vain and cisnormative.... despite the company she keeps."
"What?"
"Did the voice say he was Discord? Did he speak with quirky insane tones? Or maybe it was Tirek--deep, domineering, and like an upset stomach?"
"No, that doesn't sound right."
"Hmm...," she cogitates. "Regardless, I've got to get out of here. Can you help me ease out of these chains?"
After some exertion, you fail to help her slip out. Her appendages are daintly, but they're not dainty enough to slip through.
"Maybe your magic might work?" you suggest. "You said something about your horn--it's magic?"
"I suppose..." she muses.
"Perhaps... would you kindly try that?" you ask.
"...It couldn't hurt," she purses her lips, then shoots a burst of sparkling magic from her horn. The chain crumbles to nothing--not even soot. It disappears as though it never existed. "Strange. That spell didn't work before you thought about it."
You shrug, "Maybe the failure before was just a fluke. Your magic's pretty powerful."
"Indeed," she says, her voice suddenly cold. A moment later, it warms. "I suppose we can't dwell on those sort of thoughts for too long. Let's get out of here."
Together, you ascend the staircase but you find the exit closed.
"Maybe your magic can get the door open?" you ask.
"I don't know..." she shifts from leg to leg.
"Would you kindly give it a try?"
"Of course," she concentrates and, magically, the door opens.
"Blast!" The narrator's voice resounds in your head. "But look! You still have a chance to turn things around and do the right thing. On this table, there's a dagger." Indeed, there still is.
"We don't want this being any trouble..." The Princess, eyes darting to the danger, picks up the blade with her magic, then tosses it past you, down the stairs. It clatters for quite a while before coming to a stop.
The Princess shuts the door leading to the basement, then she nods toward the cabin's exit. "Thank you for your friendship. Without it, I might never have escaped!"
"All I did was suggest you use your magic."
"But so kindly a suggestion. You did it so nicely."
"Oh," you blush.
"You are a good friend."
"Blaarrrgh," the narrator says. "She's going to end the world if you open that door."
"Then I won't. Princess, would you kindly?"
The princess tugs at the door, but it fails to open.
"Ha!" the narrator laughs.
"If, would you kindly, try your magic?" you suggest.
"The magic of friendship!" She winks at you, then activates her horn and tries the door. The knob twists.
"That isn't supposed to happen!" the narrator objects. "You can open the door and you can do it together but she can't do it herse--"
"Isn't this wonderful!" She cracks open the door and looks back at you and smiles and behind her there is a vast void of explosions and sound and fury signifying... something.
And the world ends.
And you die.
GoTo: A. You're on a path in the woods... again?
Author's Note
It isn't over...
Would you kindly click the red link in the story above?
Slay the Alicorn Princess
"Sorry about this," you smile. "But I've got to kill you."
"Why?" She jerks away as you slash at her with the dagger.
"Because you're going to end the world!"
"Can't we talk about this?"
"Sorry. Not really," you say, stabbing at her heart.
"We could hug it out?" she suggests.
"Nope."
Her horn starts charging with magic. You thrust forward and stab her before she can do anything real freaky. Blood blossoms around her chest.
"I-I'm-I'm slain."
You watch her collapse, vomiting blood.
You have slain the princess!
Not wanting to revel in the gore, you head back to the stairs and the door... which is shut. You pound on the door. "I did what you want, but I can't get out of here."
You yell and you spit and your claw, but the door does not open.
"Oh," the narrator's voice reverberates. "There's a bit of a problem."
"What?"
"The Princess isn't dead."
"What?" You turn back and the Princess' magical horn is fully charged and crackling with magic.
"It's a lot harder to kill an alicorn than you might think," she says. "You stabbed an illusion. I'm over here."
"But--your chain."
"Your dagger sliced the chain--surprisingly. It really was sharp enough. But now... I need to go. Please step aside."
She throws the dagger to a side and trots up the narrow stairs, then bumps you slightly with her rump to push you back down the staircase. You totter, fall, and sprawl at the bottom.
"Excuse me," she knocks at the door with one hoof. "Excuse me, I'd like to get out--oops," she slips on your spittle and sweat that had dripped and decorated the landing at the top of the stairs. She teeters and falls, striking her head, falling unconscious and landing on top of you.
You huff and puff and struggle to breathe your last.
GoTo: A: You're on a path in the woods... again?
Author's Note
It isn't over!
Would you kindly select/click on the red hyperlink in the story above?
Slay the Alicorn Princess
Of course you're going to free the princess. You only picked up the dagger to help get her free. You keep telling yourself this. But then I, the narrator, make sure your grip moves to threaten the Princess.
"No, I'm not going to kill the Princess!" you shout, worthlessly.
She jerks back, away from your dagger. "Are you all right?"
"I can't control myself. I'm sorry. Voices in my head--"
"Oh!"
"I wish, I wish you were giving me... advice--please, Princess."
She frowns a bit, then nods. "I can do that. Here's what I would do.... I'd put down the dagger."
You put down the dagger.
You put down the dagger! No!
"Then I'll just pick it up," she smiles and picks up the dagger.
She picks up the dagger!
You fool, she picked up your best method of defense. We are now fully and truly ruined.
Thank you.
"You're welcome," you say, as though you didn't realize it was sarcastic and as though you thought it came from the Princess.
Actually it did.
She's narrating for you too.
She's narrating! But I'm the narrator!
This better not happen too much or you're going to get really confused.
"Don't worry," she says. "I just need to find my way around your head to get rid of all sorts of nasty unfriendly urges. Excise hate: breathe in, breathe out."
You breathe in and out and she uses the dagger to slash her chains. She giggles. "It's really sharp!" Then she stabs it into the wall, cracking a stone.
"Let's get out of here," she says, leading you up the stairs.
Dumbly, in all ways--without speaking and without thinking things through--you follow her up and out.
"I'm so glad I made you my friend. I'm thankful for your wish . Would you kindly open the door?"
You open the door and you're on the cabin's main floor. There's only one more door before you escape to the world. And when the Princess walks outside, that world will end.
This would be so much better if this narrator would be my friend too.
The narrator will never be your friend.
She bats her eyelids. "It's not a big problem. I can just make you my friend."
"No!" The narrator says, inside your head.
"Yes," she smiles. "You wish for that, right?"
You nod.
And then you let me outside and it's a blinding flash of white light and--
GoTo: A. You're on a path in the woods... again
Author's Note
It isn't over!
Would you kindly select/click on the red hyperlink in the story above?
View Online
Slay the Alicorn Princess
010: You're on a path in the woods... again (The Clumsy)
"You're on a path in the woods," a conventionally cultured-sounding voice, speaking in your head says. "--and you're going to slay the Princess."
"Wasn't I just here?" You object.
"No. Nope. I've never seen you before," the voice you recognize as the voice of the narrator says.
"I think I--" you feel yourself. You seem essentially corporeal. "I think I died."
"You're very much alive."
"But I died."
The voice makes a clicking sound, then it hesitates. "Darn it. You died, did you now?"
"That's what I said."
"Then, we lost another universe."
"We what?"
"We lost another universe because YOU forgot to slay the Princess. Or, you failed. Were you not decisive enough?"
"I... accidentally freed her."
"How does that even happen?"
"I thought I was stabbing her, but instead, I stabbed her chains, which freed her."
"I wonder if I chose the wrong person for this task..."
"That's really what happened. I swear. I'm... not sure by what I swear, but I definitely swear."
"You could swear by yourself."
"I swear by myself, that's what happened and it was completely an accident."
"Well," the narrator sighs. "At least we've got another chance at this. Don't screw it up this time."
"I won't."
"Good."
"But she didn't seem violent."
"She ended the world!"
"I'm not sure about that. She seems to have just tripped and fell on me."
"--That sounds so utterly incompetently stupid I don't even want an explanation."
"Okay."
"You know the drill, so go down the road, up the hill, into the cabin, pick up the dagger, and stab her immediately before she can start to play her mind games," he pauses. "Or fall on you. Even if you like that sort of thing."
"I don't."
"If you do--remember--there's more to the world than just a falling princess. You could have many princesses fall on you."
"I don't meet many princesses. I think. Maybe. I might have worked for one before. My memory is a bit fuzzy."
"Don't trust your memory."
"But trust you?"
"Yes. I'm here. Your memory... isn't."
Since that's obviously the best explanation you've ever received for anything ever, you nod and set off.
Once you enter the cabin, you find it pretty much as you remember, except now there's a mirror wedged in the room's corner. It doesn't have a reflection as far as you can see from a distance.
Also, "There's no dagger," you mention.
"Oh, bleed my eyes out and crack my mirror into a thousand pieces--" the narrator says. "You've really messed up things this time,"
You shrug.
"Use the table to bludgeon her to death."
"That is an idea..."
"A terrible idea but it's all we have to work with."
"What about the mirror?"
"The what?"
"A mirror."
"There isn't a mirror."
"I see it right here," you point out the mirror.
"Nope."
You look into the mirror and see nothing. It's far too tarnished and dirty to be used, so you clear away some of the grime. And you see reptilian eyes staring back. "Woah,"
"Don't trip," a voice warns.
Startled, you stumble back and trip and fall.
"Who's that?" you ask.
"I'm no one."
"You frightened me. Show yourself!"
"I'm no one... except you. I'm in your head."
"That sounds crazy!"
"That depends," the narrator sighs. "I can hear the voice too."
"So both of my hallucinatory voices can converse?"
"I don't want to talk to him. His advice is bad," the unidentified voice says.
"Who are you?" you ask.
"I think... I'm your clumsiness."
"My clumsiness?"
"Yeah. I guess I'm the voice of the clumsy."
"That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard," the narrator says. "Voices... if that is indeed what you are... are supposed to be personifications of personalities."
"I'm a clumsy personality."
"Clumsy's an attribute, not a personality."
"Rather a limited worldview, don't you think?" the narrator suggests.
"Why are you entertaining the voice?" you ask, pushing yourself to your feet.
"It distracted me. But you're right. Get on with it and slay the princess before she ends the world."
"But where did you come from?" you ask the voice of the clumsy.
"The first thing I sort of remember is sensing you dying because you tripped. Or, someone tripped and fell... something like that."
"Get on with it," the narrator says.
"Things keep getting worse," you comment. "Maybe this time I won't be crushed, but I'll fail and the princess will escape end the world!"
"Remember: we're on a time limit. You're my only hope! The world's only hope! Matters will just get worse if you hesitate."
"But what can I slay her with."
"You can always bludgeon her with the table."
The dagger that had sat on the table last time is not there now. But the table itself remains. Four strong legs.
"I don't know about this..." the voice of the clumsy says. "Maybe a better weapon will present itself downstairs?"
"I wouldn't count on it..." the narrator says. "You're better off with a backup plan. If you go down with nothing, you will probably be stuck doing nothing.
"Nothing sounds good," the voice of the clumsy suggests. "It's hard to get hurt doing nothing."
GoTo: A. Slay the Princess... with the table. B. Go downstairs without the table. C. Don't go downstairs. Stay!
Slay the Alicorn Princess
011: Slay the Princess... with the table.
Using your prodigious strength, you wrest the table from the ground and carry it to the door. You kick open the wooden door and stare out into the staircase...which is no longer a staircase.
"...Knew this was a bad idea," the voice of the clumsy asserts.
"It's a pole," you observe.
"Hold on to it with one hand and the table with the other. You can still make this work," the narrator suggests, snippily.
"What if I fall? I'll toss the table first."
"Don't do that!" the narrator says. "You'll regret it!"
You toss the table.
"I hope I'm not foreshadowing," the narrator expounds.
After quite a while, you hear the table smash on the ground.
"Wonderful. Perhaps a leg or two remain intact," the narrator sighs.
"You're going to die," the voice of the clumsy says.
"Maybe I can wait," you say.
And you settle in, leaning against a wall of the cabin for quite a while.
Eventually, the narrator asks, "waited enough?"
"No," you cross your arms, insistent to wait more.
Then you realize: "I'm not getting hungry."
"Yes," the narrator says.
"Or sleepy."
"Of course," the narrator agrees.
"Why? Is this a dream? Am I dead?"
"You're very much alive."
"So it's a dream."
"It's not your dream."
"Is it yo--"
The cabin shakes and starts tilting. You clamber and scratch and seek purchase against the wooden structure for naught. The wood isn't really wood--its laminate or rock painted like wood and warm like wood and it's impossible to grip. And yo u are dumped into the void, with only the pole to hang on to.
You reach for the pole and grab it and swing around acrobatically. Gradually sinking down, down, down, you slide to the ground.
"I guess I was wrong," the voice of the clumsy asserts. "We didn't die."
"And looked good doing it?" you ask.
"I guess," the voice of the clumsy says.
"Did you force us into the basement?" you ask the narrator.
"I can't do anything to you!" It insists.
"So you say."
"You left the door to the basement open. The princess must have done it."
"Why didn't you tell me to shut the door."
"--because I wanted her to do it. You must have this confrontation."
"This really makes me want to trust you," your voice drips with sarcasm.
"I'm not the one dumping you unceremoniously into the void."
"Uh-huh."
You stumble on the remains of the shattered table. One white-painted leg is still serviceable. You pick up the sturdy leg and walk through the darkness toward a flickering glint of light, which illuminates the princess.
"I've been waiting a long time," the princess says, with a creaking, parched voice. "I've been so unfortunate. Trapped down here. Without food, or drink, or anything."
She's older than last time--aged--her face leathery and drawn. Your visage must look shocked, because she explains, apropos of no request: "I... my magic backfired. I wanted to live forever since you were taking so long to get down here and rescue me, but instead of retaining my youth, I've aged."
"How long has it been?"
"I don't have a clock. A sundial. Or a day night cycle." She pointedly bobs her head, gesturing to demonstrate the lack of a window.
"...Have you been in the dark all this time?"
"Except for my inner magical light." The small glint against her chains becomes a blaring inferno. Then it winks out. "It hurts to generate. It burned very hot while I was waiting. But, over time, I realized it wasn't worth it. You weren't coming. You'd hurt me. Even though you may not have wanted to."
"I didn't want to."
"But now you do." She bats a hoof against the table leg, knocking it to the ground.
"You dumped me into this void!" you accuse.
"I have been suffering."
"That does not give you the right."
"Doesn't it? You're supposed to end this, one way or another. You weren't playing your role."
"How do you know I'm supposed to end whatever 'this' is?" you say. "Did someone tell you? Who told you?"
"I--I've always known this. Since I've been here," she shrinks back. You advance with the table leg.
"I think we're being manipulated," you say.
"Does it matter?" she says.
GoTo: A. Use your weapon.
B. Leave the weapon alone.
Slay the Alicorn Princess
012: Go downstairs without the table.
You don't take the table.
"You should have taken the table," the narrator insists.
"You'd have just fumbled it and tripped and broken your neck at the bottom of the staircase. Have you seen how winding this is, narrator-san?" the voice of the clumsy says.
"A respected term?" the narrator asks.
"I felt inspired by the bamboo," the voice of the clumsy explains.
"The bamboo is... at acute angles," you observe bamboo growing everywhich way. You gingerly step over some bamboo growing atop the bamboo stairs you are descending and you stoop low to avoid the bamboo stairs that are ascending at a strange angle above your head and you squeeze past a bamboo wall that gyrates in and out with the huffing sound of opening and closing.
"The staircase has changed a bit," you observe.
"You really messed things up," the narrator says.
"You are sounding like a bore," you say. "Unless you have something insightful to say, I'm going to tune you out. Maybe I'll even skip a few paragraphs."
"Don't do that!" the narrator says.
lorem ipsum dolor sin sin dolor ipsum loren
You arrive at the bottom of the staircase with only a few nicks and one squinting eye that probably was struck by a bamboo nodule when you were rolling to the bottom of the structure. And there, in a hall of densely packed green and yellow bamboo shoots, you see her--the Princess. She wears a pink kimono and a rice-field hat and she smokes a long stiff pipe, blowing out rings of smoke. Sensing your arrival, she puts down the pipe and rises, then bows.
"Barbaric traveler, I present myself to you. A princess, chained to this wall." She yanks at her chains. "Would you do me the honor of freeing me?"
"You look... different from last time," you note.
"Do I?" she looks at her clothing. "I try to keep myself looking sophisticated. Lady Rarity Appleblossom Serenity Moonflower advised me that clothing would help me attract your eye."
You trip over yourself, overwhelmed with her elegance.
"Sorry about that," the voice of the clumsy speaks up. "I always feel a bit more clumsy when around someone who is putting on alluring airs."
"I--"
She picks up the pipe and blows a smoke ring. You cough.
"And sorry about that too," the voice of the clumsy explains. "I find it hard to speak when smoke gets in my eyes."
"Your lungs, you mean?"
"No, my eyes. It's psychologically reactive."
"But you mean my eyes, right?"
"You and I, we're in this together."
"But not the narrator," you observe.
"No, not that obnoxious git."
"Hey!" the narrator objects. "If the world ends, we're all in this together!"
"But we can't do much about that. We're too clumsy and ineffective," the voice of the clumsy says.
You nod.
"What would you like to do?" the Princess asks, blowing more smoke.
"I'd like to... I'm sorry for bumping into you and for us colliding and falling to our deaths," you say.
"Are you?" She says. "Why don't you come over here and let me have a good look at you to see if I can sense your penitence."
You come over and cross across her chains. You trip and break them. And, she's free. She giggles and rises on her hooves, which themselves are tied to thick pieces of wood. She makes a resounding clip-clop sound as she retreats from you. "Perhaps you should spend some time down here while I leave by my lonesome. It's safer that way."
"It's always safer when you're not around," the voice of the clumsy agrees.
"I guess I could stay."
"You can't," the narrator says.
The sound of clopping goes up the stairs, then it stops at the top. You hear some thuds at the door. The clopping returns.
"Please present me the key," the princess requests.
"I don't have a key."
The princess' eyes narrow. "Let me out."
"I'll just fall down the stairs and we'll both... die again. That bamboo is dangerous!" You indicate your wounded eye.
a. Dash at her and scratch with your... claws? b. Wait.
Slay the Alicorn Princess
"It matters a great deal." You rush forward with the table leg before the princess can react.
"Oh no," the voice of the clumsy cries out.
Forgetting about her chain, you tumble, trip over and sprawl, breaking your neck.
"Oh dear," the princess says, tugging at her chain. "I suppose, though, I should have expected that might happen..."
"We're so predictably useless and clumsy..." the voice of the clumsy sighs.
"I hope this isn't the end," the narrator says. "But I fear it is..."
You die.
Now, you're on a path in the woods... again... for a third time?
Author's Note
You reached an Act 2 Ending and information for it is below... but there is also an Act 3 ending... Travel down the path again here!
Ending Type C: Failure.Specific Ending: Oaf.
Some key questions:
Act 2 Ending Types:
Slay the Alicorn Princess
014: Leave the table alone.
You drop the shattered table leg. You'd probably make a mess of fighting with it anyway.
"It matters a great deal," you say. "If someone wants us to be at each others' throats, then we should turn the tables," you gesture toward the brutal weapon you had brought. "Do you have a plan?"
"Come here," she beckons.
You comply, and, after a mere few steps, you fall over her chains, scraping your scales and making a mess. And she's free.
"When you fall, you fall hard," she observes, her voice and the glint of her magical hornlight drifting farther and farther away from you.
"Wait!" you call out. "I'm stuck in the chains! Tangled!"
"I figured," she scoffs--her voice much harder than before. "I am getting out of here."
"What did the world do to be saddled with such a uniquely challenged savior," the narrator sighs.
"S-Serious crimes against life?" the voice of the clumsy suggests.
"Bollocks," the narrator curses.
You hear the princess shimmy up the pole, using either prodigious strength or her dwindling reserves of magic. Then, you hear the pole sway back and forth while the princess likely jumps off it. Then there is a thud as the princess likely slams into an immovable door. Shortly, she slides back down the pole and soon after, she appears at your side. "You're coming with me," she says, and she helps you up from the chains.
"This won't end well," you warn.
"It will be fine. I'll protect you with my magic."
She gets you to the top of the pole with an enormous effort, huffing and puffing. Her magic sparkles. Her light goes out, and she makes the jump to the door's threshold, with you on her back. You both alight and she catches her breath and winces and sets you down. "Try the door."
Dismounted and disoriented, you blink, dizzy from the height, the ascent, and the jump.
"The world will end!" the narrator shrieks.
"I don't think we'll get that far..." the voice of the clumsy suggests.
"Don't you dare--please--" the narrator says.
"I'm feeling a bit--off." You totter backward and the princess catches you with her magic.
"I expected that," she sneers. Then she insists: "Open the door! Turn the handle. No matter how incompetent you are, I am sure you can do that." The princess takes a deep breath.
You try the door handle. The princess' magic sizzles. The door opens, and you fall backward. The princess avoids your tumble and leaves you like the trash you are, but then a mirror from the tilted room--the room she had upended--tumbles past and strikes her on the snout.
You fall off the edge, and the princess tumbles too. You look into the mirror, shattering into a thousand pieces in slow motion. You see a crow in the reflections. You see yourself. You see the princess--like she had been when you first encountered her--tiara and friendly smile. You see the world. You see the universe. You see everything .
You die, splattering against the ground.
Author's Note
Ending Type D: Stasis.Ending Specific: "The Patsy"
Play again from the beginning to reach another ending type and to unravel more of the mystery of what is happening.
Some key questions:
Ending Types:
View Online
Slay the Alicorn Princess
015: Dash at her and scratch with your... claws?
You dash at the princess and catch her unaware while she mulls over your warning.
In the end, her own hesitance and clumsiness does her in.
She shrieks as you move with lightning-quick reflexes and reach her on the landing. She readies her magic and teleports far enough to avoid you, but her wood-bound hoof catches on the stairs' edge. The performatively-tall okobo shoes slip and her hooves have no way to find purchase. She totters and starts to teleport again, but her head strikes against protruding bamboo and her body recoils with an equal and opposite force and she falls and impales herself on a sharp stick of bamboo. Blood trickles.
She lies on the bamboo, dying. "You--" she says, between chokes and bloodspurts. "You--"
"I killed you."
"You have slain the princess!" the narrator rejoices.
"This went far better than I could have guessed," the voice of the clumsy asserts.
"You remind me...", the dying princess sighs. "So fast... So loyal to your friend..."
"The narrator isn't my friend!"
"You trusted what... it... the first... to talk to you... said."
"It? Not he? They? Ey? Em?"
The princess gurgles and whispers something so soft you cannot hear.
You lean over the stairs' edge, to better hear her dying words.
"Don't do that--" the voice of the clumsy warns. "I'm not sure we're able to keep upright. What if a strong breeze blows?"
"We're inside."
"Even a gentle breeze could be deadly for us!"
"Maybe..." You straighten and move away from the edge.
"Just like... my friend... Rainbow Dash."
"Who?" you ask, although the name seems a bit familiar.
But she doesn't reply.
"Congratulations again," the narrator says. "And goodbye."
"Aren't you going to help me get out?" you ask.
"I never said I'd do that."
"You said I should slay the princess, which will save the world."
"And you did."
"And now I'm going to get my reward."
"We didn't discuss a reward... other than the obvious."
"Which is?"
"Saving the world."
The narrator's voice echoes obnoxiously, growing quieter and quieter until it disappears. You're left in the room with the royal corpse, a now-rotting smell and gentle music that has turned hauntingly discordant. The bamboo starts closing in on you. The door upstairs, though, has cracked open. You could make it to the top--if you don't fall.
"Come on, clumsy, don't curse me now."
"I'm trying not to!" the clumsy says.
"Try harder!"
"If you die, I die too!" the clumsy insists.
"If we can make it upstairs, we can get outside."
"I hope..." the clumsy's teeth chatter. At least they sound like they're chattering as much as a disembodied voice's teeth can. Your teeth chatter in sympathetic response.
You clamber on all fours, to better keep your balance, and, after a grinding and perilous climb, you make it to the summit, and crawl through the door. And you are back in the room with the mirror and the table that you neglected to carry. You reach for the table, which offers an easy hold to brace yourself on to stand. But the table slips, its legs buckle, and it collapses. You roll to the side, and the table falls down and collapses and slides past the doorway, falls down the stairs and clatters until it rests on the princess. Even though the narrator is gone, you realize you're still receiving narration, although the words are growing increasingly faint.
Huffing and puffing and heaving, you pull yourself completely through the door, then slam it shut with a kick from your feet. You turn and look at the mirror, which has become more visible. You see your mouth and your eyes and your hands--scaly, reptilian, with bloody claws that you could have used to tear the princess apart.
"Once again... this went better than expected," the voice of the clumsy relates.
You take a deep breath, rise to your feet and approach the door leading outside. You tug at its knob, but it doesn't open. You rage against the door for hours. Nothing happens. You turn to the mirror.
"Narrator!" you call--to no answer.
"Why am I a prisoner? Why treat me like the princess? What have I done?"
"Maybe you are treated this way... like the princess is... because of what you may do?" the voice of the clumsy suggests.
"But I killed the princess."
"Maybe that's the problem."
You sit and stare at the mirror--into your soul. You extend your feet and their claws prick the unsecured mirror and tilt it. Before you can react, it tips over and the last thing you see is the falling glass--the shattering glass, striking your head, shards penetrating your heart, your brain. You see your reflection in them, the princess' reflection, a crow's, and it's all fleeting, flying, gone.
And you die.
This is an end. There are others.
Author's Note
You have reached "an" ending.
Ending Type A: Slay the Princess Ending Variation: "The Loyalist"
Play again from the beginning to reach another ending type and to unravel more of the mystery of what is happening.
Some key questions:
Ending Types:
Slay the Alicorn Princess
There's not much you can do without a weapon, so you wait.
The princess sighs, "I suppose I can be patient." She settles down and waits with you. "Are you afraid?"
"If I don't do anything, then nothing bad can happen."
"Indeed!" The voice of the clumsy concurs.
"I had a friend like that, once, I think."
"Tell me about her."
"Her name was... Fluttershy , I think. She embodied the 'shy' part of the name. Locked herself indoors. Kept herself safe."
"Sounds good. Never meeting people, never doing anything."
"That doesn't sound right... she had friends. She had adventures."
"That can't be right. She wouldn't be safe on adventures. She wouldn't have friends if she was shy!"
"Maybe you're right...." the princess closes her eyes and her head lolls back. "Chatting with you... clears things up."
A long time passes. You don't need to sleep or eat or defecate. You're in a floating dream and are surrounded by fog and intoxicating music. It seems like this could go on forever.
"You don't have much time..." the narrator says.
"Do I?"
"If we don't move, nothing bad will happen," the voice of the clumsy says, reiterating it like a mantra.
"Yes," you yawn.
"You don't need to sleep!" the narrator insists.
"Funny thing. In dreams, we don't need to sleep."
"This isn't a dream!"
"Life could be a dream..." you postulate.
The princess nuzzles you and cozies up. "And we are all actors on a stage?"
"Please," the narrator says. "Time is running out."
"Maybe for you..." you say.
Despite the passage of an indeterminably long time, you hear nothing more from the narrator.
The voice of the clumsy and the princess keep you company.
"I'm not sure I really need to leave," the princess says, leaning her head against your shoulder.
"Agreed. We don't," you say, patting her mane.
And the story doesn't quite ever end.
Author's Note
You have reached "an" ending.
Ending Type D: Stasis Ending Variation: "The Slug"
Play again from the beginning to reach another ending type and to unravel more of the mystery of what is happening.
Some key questions:
Ending Types:
Slay the Alicorn Princess
017: Don't Go Downstairs. Stay!
You wait for the princess. You're not going down the stairs.
The narrator cajoles, pushes, and begs. But you don't go down the stairs.
The voice of the clumsy agrees. "We'd just stumble and fall and break our necks. We're safer here."
And so you are... safer. Although, you hear a knocking at the door.
"Better not open it," the clumsy says.
"Please. I thought we were friends," the voice whines from the other side.
"We are friends."
"Then, please, let me out."
"I might hurt you if I let you out. Last time, I think, if there really was a last time--I accidentally slipped, and you died!"
"That's terrible... although yes, I do remember it."
"Then you understand why I can't let you out."
"But... I thought we were friends."
"We are."
"But friends would open the door?"
"I'm not sure. Although there may be a multitude of answers. There are lots of types of friendship."
"How so?"
"There's romantic friendship, friendship over shared interests, friendship over shared morals--neither of us wants to destroy the world, right? We have that!"
"Indeed we do."
"And there's also familial friendship. I think that's it. I don't have a list."
"Are we family?"
"What?"
"Are we family?"
"What kind of question is that? You're a pony princess and I'm a... scaly reptile..." You look at your hands, then at the mirror.
"Families can be adopted. I think I had one once."
"A family?"
"An adopted family. I don't remember much about it."
"That's a shame."
"Family's important. My good friend... Apple-jerk..."
"That's an unfortunate name."
"I know... maybe we called her by a nickname... Apple-jack?" she nodded, sharply. "Applejack , I think, told me about how strong family made her feel--even though her parents were dead."
"Then what family did she have?"
"Her siblings. Maybe an older great-great-great-great grandpony who founded the village she lived in. I think that's all. My memory isn't so good on this side of the door. And isn't it difficult to understand me? If we get closer, we can hear better."
"If I let you in--"
"I might die--I know. But maybe that isn't so bad?"
You talk for a long time. Days. You never need to eat, or sleep, or anything. You just keep talking about everything. In the end, you feel like you've known the princess all your life--essentially: you have.
"You need to let her out," the narrator says, weakly. "My time is almost up."
"Changing your mind? You want me to free her and end the world?" you say.
"No. Let her out of the basement so you can slay her. Use the table legs."
"No," you rise and walk to the door.
"What are you doing?" the clumsy's voice wavers.
"I'm letting her out."
"Be careful--" the narrator says.
"Be careful!" the clumsy echoes, for a different reason.
You open the door, and she jumps into your arms. "Sibling!" she cries, for that's how you've come to feel about each other.
"Sibling!" you embrace hear and spin her around in joy and of course you trip and together you fall down the stairs, bumping your heads and twisting your necks, and you die.
Author's Note
Ending Type C: FailureSpecific Ending: "The Family"
Play again from the beginning to reach another ending type and to unravel more of the mystery of what is happening.
Some key questions:
Ending Types:
View Online
Slay the Alicorn Princess
020: You're on a path in the woods... again (The Friend)
"You're on a path in the woods," an aristocratic voice, speaking in your head says. "--and you're going to slay the Princess."
"Wasn't I just here?" You object.
"No. Nope. I've never seen you before," the voice says.
"I think I--" you feel yourself. You feel sort of corporeal. "I think I died."
"You're very much alive."
"But I died."
The voice makes a clicking sound, then it hesitates. "Darn it. You didn't die, did you?"
"That's what I said."
"So, we lost another universe."
"We what?"
"We lost another universe because YOU forgot to slay the Princess. Or you failed. Were you not decisive enough?"
"I... freed her. Or maybe she freed herself, I'm not quite sure about that."
"How does that even happen?"
"I suggested she use her magic to escape, and she did!"
"No!"
"That's really what happened!"
"Fine.... At least we've got another chance. Don't screw it up this time."
"I won't."
"Good."
"But she didn't seem violent."
"She ended the world!"
"I guess that's what happened when she opened the door."
"She opened the door?"
"Yes."
"Without your help?"
"I guess. I just advised her about her magic."
"--You know what, that sounds so utterly incompetently stupid I don't even want to contemplate how that happened."
"Okay."
"Not a very friendly way to respond to our selfless action," a third voice states.
"What?" You ask.
"Hi. I'm the voice of the friend," it says, with a jocular tone. "Nice to meet you."
"Nice to met you too, I'm... I don't actually know my name..."
"You're you , and I'm you, it's all good."
"You're you?"
"As much as you are."
"Have you replaced that horrible voice inside my head?"
"No. That wouldn't be friendly."
"But that voice wanted me to kill a princess!"
"A living being," the voice of the friend clarifies.
"Okay," you say.
"It's important. All thinking creatures are equal."
"I guess so," you say, so easily persuaded that it should make you puke.
You feel a little bile rising in your throat, but manage to suck it back down.
Meanwhile, your noble and generous and helpful narrator speaks again. "That's quite enough of greetings. Regardless, you know the drill, so go down the road, up the hill, into the cabin, pick up the dagger, and stab her immediately before she can start to play her mind games."
"But that's not friendly," you say.
"Her ending the world is pretty totally not friendly either!" the narrator shrieks.
"But she won't do it if we are friends."
"She can't help it. That's what she is--a world ender! A world-ending princess."
"Maybe if we wished hard enough, then she wouldn't end the world," the voice of the friend suggests.
"I like that idea," you say.
"Life isn't like that. You can't just wish away bad things. Bad things happen. Even people who think they are doing good make bad things happen. Even people who don't do anything help bad things happen by sitting by and doing nothing. You have to do what I say because I'm good and what she's going to do is bad. We have to stop them!"
"But why are these things bad?" the voice of the friend asks.
"Ending the world is pretty much universally regarded as a bad thing, right?" the narrator insists.
"Unless it's a bad world."
"Billions will die! Even babies! Do you hate babies?"
"I love babies."
"The princess hates babies so much that when she leaves the cabin, she's going to end the world regardless of the cost."
"What if she just stays in the cabin with me?"
"She has to leave it."
"Why?"
"Narrative fiat!" the voice shrieks. "You can't keep her there forever."
"I could wish that she remains there forever. I think she'd listen to reason. That should work."
"Wishes don't mean anything! You can't wish away the common cold!"
"But we can try!" the voice of the friend asserts.
"I think we must," you say.
"Please, go to the cabin..." the narrator sighs.
You nod and set off. The cabin is pretty much as you remember, except now there's a mirror--a really ornate baroque-styled one. It doesn't have a reflection as far as you can see from a distance. And the table that had previously held the dagger doesn't exist.
"There's no dagger," you mention.
"Great!" the voice of the friend sparkles.
"Oh, bleed my eyes out and crack my mirror into a thousand pieces--" the narrator says. "You've really messed up."
You shrug.
"You're going to have to choke her to death."
"...I don't think that will work. She's a really powerful mage."
"You better think of something. Maybe the dagger will turn up..."
"Can I leave?"
"No."
You try the cabin door. It's locked.
"What about this mirror?" You indicate the baroquely ornate, but tarnished, mirror in the room's corner.
"A what?"
"A mirror."
"There isn't one."
"I see it right here," you point out the mirror. "It's real fancy."
"You're seeing things."
"And hearing things..." you mutter and wipe off the mirror, then peer into it, seeing only reptilian eyes as the tarnished surface obscures greater visibility. "It seems defective... like a mirror in a dream."
"Whatever floats your boat. Get on down the stairs."
"It's okay, I believe you," the voice of the friend says.
"Thank you!" you say.
"You're great." it says.
"You're awesome," you say.
"Dawww," it says.
"Awwww," you say.
"I'm going to crack up into a billion pieces and this is what I have to work with. I gave of myself and gave and gave to get rid of...." The narrator's whispers trail off, then it picks up "--and it's going to end..."
Eventually, you make your way down the stairs... which are now beautiful brass steps, polished and reflecting shimmering light. At the foot of the stairs, the prison is a glistening crystal chamber.
"Princess?" you ask.
"Hello, Darling," you hear.
"Princess Twilight?"
"It is, I, Darling Friend."
"Um..."
Before you stands a statuesque Twilight Sparkle, twice as tall as before and now standing above your eye-height.
"You've grown."
"Have I?" She looks down at herself. "I suppose all of us do grow in time, with experiences."
"Yeah,"
"I need to escape from here," she says.
"Last time you got out, the world ended."
"We don't blame you!" the voice of the friend says.
"Oh, sorry, I forgot to introduce my friend," you say.
"Who?"
"You can't hear the voice of the friend?"
"You do have a friendly voice."
"She can't hear me... but since you're such a good friend, you'll pass on my words, right?"
"Right! I have a nicer voice in my head this time. It's a voice of friendliness."
"Oh, how nice," the Princess smiles.
"But yes, as I was saying, last time you left the cabin, the world, sadly, seems to have ended," you say.
"I don't remember it quite like that," she says, cocking her head. "You helped me use my magic to get free and we walked upstairs and then something hit me on the head and I was down here. And since we're here, it seems pretty clear that the world didn't end. You didn't knock me on my head, did you?"
"No, no, no."
"Yes you did," the narrator says.
"No I didn't."
"Okay," the Princess narrows her eyes at your repetitive reply. "Perhaps you can go first this time, just try not to trip and fall."
"I didn't trip and fall and hit your head."
"No worries even if you did. We're all healthy and fine now, friend." She smiles real wide, displaying her ebulliently white teeth.
"You need to apologize more," the voice of the friend says, wavering a little. "I'm not sure she accepts our apology... completely. She seems suspicious."
"Told you!" The narrator says. "There's something wrong about her! You can't trust anything she says."
"I'm... sorry," you say.
"It's all right!" she brightens. But she waits for you to go first.
You walk up the stairs, ahead of the princess, and that's where you see the dagger, glistening on the stairs, where it had been thrown by Princess Twilight's magic in an ill-remembered past.
"Now's your chance. She's untrustworthy. She's making you take the brunt of the end of the world! End her!" The narrator says.
"But she's our friend," the voice of the friend says.
"Kill her now!" the narrator insists.
"No!" you shout.
"Are you all right?" Twilight asks, still behind you. "Not about to pass out again, are you? I know a spell that could help."
"Twilight Sparkle is your friend ," the voice of the friend insists.
"Because she says she is..."
"She doesn't trust you," the narrator insists. "And you don't know her! All you know is that last time you opened the door, the world ended--and she admits that by her own words!"
"That's not what she said. She was talking about being hit on the head."
"It is implied!"
"Umm... Maybe I should cast that spell--" the Princess muses.
GoTo: A. Use the dagger to slay the Princess
B. Leave with the Princess
C. Stay forever with the Princess
Slay the Alicorn Princess
021: Use the dagger to slay the Princess
You take the glittering dagger from the brass steps and immediately thrust it into the Princess' hide. She doubles over.
"Why?" her voice shudders. She looks back at you with big, sad eyes. "I thought we were friends."
"You ended the world last time. I wish you would die," you say.
And she does.
You open the door to the cabin and close the door to the stairs behind you. Inside the cabin, you speak to the voices inside your head.
"I did what you said. She's dead."
"Jolly good," the narrator says.
The voice of the friend, shakes, "You... you... killed me."
"You're not the princess," you say.
The voice doesn't speak again.
"She wasn't part of me, was she?" You ask the narrator.
"Don't worry about that one bit," the narrator says.
"Okay. Well, I saved the world, so it's time for me to leave, right?"
"Oh," the narrator says. "About that..."
"What?"
"You needn't need to worry about that. This cabin's pretty fine, innit?"
"I have to stay here alone?" Your voice takes on a twinge of panic.
"It's not so bad. Maybe you'll develop some other personalities?"
"You're leaving me too!"
"Sorry," the narrator says. "This is really for the best. Enjoy eternity!"
"Why? Am I living forever?"
"It's nothing *I* did," the narrator says. "Though, think of all the people you are helping!"
"Please explain this to me!"
"To fully understand, it's like a turn-of-the-twentieth-century play. You really need to understand the reveal in act three. I am not sure it's a good idea to share that with you. You need to review related merchandise."
"What are you talking about?"
"See the author's notes!"
"What author's notes?"
"Ah," the narrator crows. "It isn't so funny now that it's you who doesn't see some metaphysical self-reflective mirror-like item, is it?"
The narrator's voice fades away.
You're left alone.
Forever.
And ever.
But at least you have slain the princess.
That was good. Right?
Author's Note
Ending Type A: Slay the Princess!Specific Ending: "The Betrayer"
Play again from the beginning to reach another ending type and to unravel more of the mystery of what is happening.
Some key questions:
Ending Types:
Slay the Alicorn Princess
022: Leave with the Princess
"No need to cast any spell," you smile at the Princess and take her hoof in your scaly hand.
"I haven't held a claw like this in so long," she says.
You smile, a blush on your purple complexion spreading.
"You've become so heroic."
"Do we... know each other?" you ask.
She blinks. "Don't you remember?"
"I only remember waking up in the woods and being told I needed to slay you."
She clutches your hand very tight. "I think that might have been going on for a very long time. I haven't seen my friends in so long. I fear they may have... died."
You cringe. "Death..."
"Happens." She finishes the sentence.
"No, no, no. This is very, very, wrong. Don't listen to her!" the narrator shrieks.
"As friends, we can overcome difficulties," the voice of the friend says.
"Not this one! It's inevitable," the narrator says. "The world will end. You will die, your friends will die--the princess will die."
You look into the princess' eyes. "Are you my friend?"
She lets your hand...your... claw go. She blinks. "Maybe I was. I think I could be. Can I do anything to demonstrate friendship?"
"I'm not sure."
"Oh, this mirror is a bit damaged," she notices the tarnished mirror. "I can remove that spot of blemish." She does, with a wave of her horn and magic.
You can see her standing beside you.
"You have such beautiful spikes," she says, running a hoof along your back.
"That's familiar."
"I think so too."
You take a deep breath. "Let's get out of here."
"Wait!" The narrator objects. "You can stay here. Fall out of love, or like, or friendship or whatever it is you two might erroneously think you have."
"I think..." you postulate. "That you'll stop bothering us when we leave."
"Because the world will end!"
"You haven't given me any reason to trust you or be friendly. You've just shouted commands at me."
"Because I'm trying to help you!" the narrator screams.
"It's not said in a friendly fashion," the voice of the friend says.
"Come on!" the narrator rages.
You take Princess Twilight Sparkle's hoof, and together you strike out beyond the door of the cabin, into the world.
And--
We reach an ending.
But... soon enough... the world ends and... you're on a path in the woods... again... for a third time?
Author's Note
You reached an Act 2 Ending and information for it is below... but there is also an Act 3 ending... Travel down the path again here!
Ending Type B: Free the PrincessSpecific Ending: "The Liberator"
Some key questions:
Ending Types:
Slay the Alicorn Princess
023: Stay Forever with the Princess
"No need!" you insist. "We can have a lot of fun together, right here, forever!"
"I don't know about that... I really need to leave," the princess frowns.
"We don't need to leave if we have a party!"
"A party has to end some time."
"No it doesn't," the voice of the friend tells you to say, so you do.
"We'll get tired."
"No we won't," the voice of the friend has a lot of ideas.
"I'll get tired," the princess objects.
You grin, "Either way, what do we have to lose? Wanna find out?"
The princess sighs and deactivates her magic. "You remind me of somecreature who loved parties... Pinkie... Pry... Fry... Sigh? Pie? Pinkie Pie ? Maybe that was it?"
"The name doesn't ring a bell."
"Maybe it wasn't... that doesn't matter. Let's try this party."
You open the basement door to the cabin and together, you enter and imagine a party together. You intricately describe the balloons, the streamers, the other guests. You imagine the cake, the drinks, the music, the band. You fantasize about conversations, games, presents. It's great. But it goes on forever. On and on and on and on.
You try a different type of party--a personal romantic party. And, despite creepy interpolations by the narrator, which you both quickly tune out--that too goes on forever and ever and ever. And then it stops.
"Are you ready... now?" the narrator whispers. "I'm about to go."
"No." You hug the princess and she hugs you back. "We're going to have a party looking into each others' eyes forever.
"This will ruin everything. We have to have a resolution. It's either kill or destroy. Kill or destroy. The whole experience. You will get tired and resolve this after I die! The whole experiment will be ruined and the world might be destroyed anyway and who knows what could happen! There is no possible way you should be able to defer this choice so long."
"It's the power of friendship," the voice of the friend says.
"And parties," the princess smiles.
"No," the narrator croaks.
And you look into the princess' eyes forever.
Author's Note
Ending Type D: StasisSpecific Ending: "The Party"
Play again from the beginning to reach another ending type and to unravel more of the mystery of what is happening.
Some key questions:
Ending Types:
View Online
Slay the Alicorn Princess
030: You're on a path in the woods... again (The Friendmaker)
"You're on a path in the woods," an effete voice speaking in your head says, "--and you're going to slay the Princess."
"Wasn't I just here?" you object.
"No. Nope. I've never seen you before," the voice says.
"I guess you wouldn't have."
"What?"
"Because, since you don't remember me, you must have gotten yourself replaced." A bold claim, people would say. But then again, you're here to make bold decisions.
"Are you the Princess?" You stupidly ask the narrator.
"It's not a stupid question," you assert. "It's really valid. I was with the princess and then--"
"Do I sound like a Princess?" The toff's voice says, interrupting your ridiculous statement. "There's only ever been one princess. There's no way you could have ever met the Princess before. I am sure. Unless..." The toff's voice clears, then the voice continues. "What matters is: she is chained in a cabin basement and you need to go there and slay her before she ends the world."
"Any voice can sound like a Princess'..."
"My voice clearly does not sound like a stereotypical Princess' voice."
"You sound upper-class. That's pretty stereotypical."
"You're just being difficult."
"That's not very friendly," you say. "Maybe I'm testing you, to see see who my real friends are?"
"There's not much time left. If you fail to act, then the world will end," the narrator insists.
"That... may have already happened," you say, recalling the flash of light.
The narrator makes a clicking sound, then hesitates. "Darn it. You died, didn't you?"
"Maybe. The Princess opened the door--"
"The Princess opened the door!"
"Sure."
"That isn't supposed to happen."
You shrug.
"So, we lost another universe."
"We what?"
"We lost another universe because YOU forgot to slay the princess. Or you failed. Were you not decisive enough?"
"But you narrated--just a moment ago--that there's only ever been one princess..."
"In this world. You shouldn't remember another world."
"What are you doing to me?"
"That doesn't matter."
It doesn't matter, so you forget about that line of questioning.
"How did the princess escape?" the narrator asks.
"I freed her."
"How does that even happen?"
"I wished for her to be free."
"No."
"That's really what happened."
The narrator sighs, "...At least we have another chance. Don't screw it up this time."
"I won't."
"Good. Not sure I can trust you given the run-around you just gave me and your utter and complete failure last time, but I'll take what you say at face value. Good."
"The princess didn't seem bad ."
"She ended the world!"
"I'm thinking this is a dream...."
"Fine. It's a dream. Try to win this dream. You're stuck here until you win, dummy," the voice sighs. "You know the drill, so go down the road, up the hill, into the cabin, pick up the dagger, and stab her immediately before she can start to play her tricky mind games."
You nod and set off. The cabin is pretty much as you remember, except now there is a mirror so dirty it does not appear give off a reflection.
The table that previously held a dagger is empty.
"There's no dagger," you mention.
"Oh, bleed my eyes out and crack my mirror into a thousand pieces--" the narrator says. "You've really messed up things."
You hear a feminine "tee-hee-hee."
"Instead, there's a mirror."
"A what?"
"A mirror," you say.
"No there isn't."
"Yes, it's right here." You point out the mirror, a tall freestanding one with a solid iron base--to prevent it from tipping over and crushing you to death or shattering into a thousand pieces that could pierce your neck and head and heart.
"Nope."
You clean dirt, dust, and tarnish from the mirror's glass and look into it. All you can make out through the resilient muck are reptilian eyes staring back. "Woah,"
"Don't worry about it," a feminine voice says.
You don't worry about it.
"Is there someone else with you?" the narrator asks.
The feminine voice whispers: "no."
"No," you tell the narrator.
"Something seems a bit queer--" the narrator says.
"No worries. Don't get your knickers into a twist, narrator."
"You're back to being insufferable..." he sighs. "Maybe you can use something else as a weapon in lieu of the dagger. The table, perhaps?"
"No," the feminine whisper asserts.
"I don't need a weapon," you shrug. "I am sure something will work out when I head downstairs," you tell the narrator.
The narrator sighs, "We can only hope."
You head downstairs.
GoTo: A. Slay the princess.
B. Free the princess.
Slay the Alicorn Princess
The stairs are exquisite. Their multicolored crystal structure glistens. You smell sweet fragrances and feel a gentle exfoliating breeze. A tinkling calm sound plays all around you as you descend. You reach the bottom of the staircase and immediately see the pony princess seated upon a throne, playing with a jeweled iron dagger.
"Hello?" you ask.
"Why don't you approach and bow down?" the feminine voice in your head demands.
You do it.
"Bow deeper," the voice insists.
You kowtow, head to ground.
"Tee-hee-hee."
"What are you doing?" the narrator asks. "This is the opposite of what is supposed to happen."
"Thank you for your obeisance, plebian," the regal pony atop her throne laughs. "Albeit it is merely the least of what I deserve."
"Yes, majesty."
"Call me mistress."
"Yes, mistress."
"Tee-hee-hee."
"Isn't majesty better than mistress?" the narrator muses.
"I-um--" you almost give voice to the narrator's confusion, but find yourself tongue-tied.
"Have you come to free me?"
"Yes, mistress," you say.
"I pray that was a lie," the narrator says.
"Shut up," the feminine voice says.
"And who are you?" the narrator asks, finally noticing the voice.
"I'm the boss," she says.
"The voice of the boss ?" you ask.
"Yeah, what about it?"
You swallow hard. "I... don't know."
"You don't know?" the princess frowns. "You changed your mind? You said you were here to free me. Get to work on gnawing through that chain, vermin."
"Yes, mistress." You walk over to the chain and start chomping at it. You actually make good progress, but the princess frowns, deeply. "You're not fast enough. Use this." She flicks the dagger at you. It pierces the back of one of your claws, stabbing it deep. With great pain, you pull it out and your blood clots almost immediately.
"Slice my chains with this dagger, pleb."
"Yes, mistress."
"I changed my mind." She snaps her fingers. "You're my friend. You're voluntarily following me. I made you my friend. So, call me Friendmaker."
"Yes, Friendmaker."
"Tee-hee-hee."
You make short work of the chain and the princess is free. She stands and stretches.
"Now's your chance!" the narrator says. "You have the dagger. She's right there!"
"Nuh-uh," the boss says. "Naughty-naughty."
You feel like you have to drop the dagger, but you will yourself to move forward.
The princess notices and she scowls. "It's going to be like that again? How droll." She snaps her fingers and your arm stops moving.
"Go upstairs and open the door."
"Yes, Friendmaker," you say, and you go upstairs and open the door.
She joins you there, then orders you, "Open the cabin door."
You do that too.
She walks past you and scowls. "Stab yourself and die." She walks outside.
You look at the dagger, resisting.
"Stab her! Now!" the narrator demands.
"Stab yourself!" the boss calls.
"Yes..."
You stab yourself.
And you die.
Author's Note
Ending Type C: FailureSpecific Ending: "The Dominated"
Play again from the beginning to reach another ending type and to unravel more of the mystery of what is happening.
The video game has an act three that I do not want to spoil but you might be able to piece some of it together here. As a hint:Some key questions:
Ending Types:
Slay the Alicorn Princess
It's a candyland of flavors and displays. You cross a chocolate bridge, descend licorice stairs, past a lollypop column, a glass ceiling covered with peppermints, a river of bubblegum and licorice, and eventually reach the bottom where you find a dolled-up princess pony with coiffed blue and purple hair.
"Hello," she says.
"Hi," you say.
"Could you come over here and be my friend?" She pats a tuffet adjacent to her throne, a block of chocolate.
"Don't do it!" the narrator warns.
"Tee-hee-hee" the other voice laughs.
"Would you kindly be quiet?" the narrator asks the other voice.
"Nope!"
"What voice are you?" You ask, your eyes never leaving the princess' wide--ultra wide--almost grotesquely wide orbs. They're bigger than does' eyes. So cute.
"I'm the boss, dear," the voice says.
"But she's the boss..." you muse.
"Indeed we are."
"But you're in my head."
"Funny, isn't it?"
"Pardon?" The princess asks. "Were you speaking to me?"
"I apologize!" you blurt.
"Never apologize! Never surrender!" the narrator urges.
"I've been ever so lonely," the princess says. "No one wants to be my friend unless I doll myself up like this."
"Don't say that," you say.
"No, really," she pouts. "When I look ugly and horsey, no one wants to be with me. To be my friend. That must be why I was here in this prison. So, I have to take drastic actions."
"Like what?"
"Like making ponies be my friend."
"Oh,"
"Being a friend isn't enough. It's too passive. But making a friend--that's what I'm doing here--is something active--heroic. You're my friend, right?"
"Right," you say, breathless.
"Yes. I'm a friendmaker," she nods, bewitching you with her look... her magic. Her horn's glistening with magic. She's making you her friend.
That's fine though, you think.
"No it isn't," the narrator says.
"Boo-hoo-hoo," the boss mocks.
You lay your head in the Princess' lap.
"So wonderful," the Princess says. "The power of your friendship made my chains disappear." She kisses your forehead. "And now..."
The two of you teleport to the top of the stairs, and the door opens after merely a thought from you. Before leaving the prison, however, the princess concentrates, casts her magic and shatters the glass landing beneath her, over-saturates a river of candy to pop and fizz and explode, and melts chocolates with her heat.
"You don't like chocolate?" you ask.
"It was a gilded cage," she explains. She slams the door closed, the last chocolate bridge burning behind her.
You're in the cabin. There's one last door to pass.
"Be a friend dear, and open the door, please," she asks.
"Don't do it!" the narrator warns.
You open the door.
"I'm so glad," the princess steps forward. "You remind me so much of a little friend I once used to know," she feels your scales. "This little friend had a real obsession about a pony. He believed she was his best friend--she had to be his best friend--she would always be his best friend--his rarity of a friend. She liked his help, the gems he helped her gather, his company. She had him do all sorts of things for her."
"Tee-hee-hee."
"She made him her friend..." the princess' voice lost its saccharine property. "And just like her. Now... I can MAKE EVERYPONY MY FRIEND ."
"Nothing can stop us!" The boss concurs.
"EVERYONE WILL BE MY FRIEND!"
You feel magic sting you.
"AND THEY'LL ALL BE PONIES. I'LL CHANGE THEM TO BE LIKE ME FOR ONCE."
"That's how we do it," the boss agrees. "Any lie is fine if it's to someone with infidelity! And everyone not us is an infidel."
"But I--But--"
"But you came downstairs with a dagger... the first time."
"You remember!"
"I remember everything."
"You fool!" the narrator shrieks.
"And now," the princess smiles. "I've shattered the glass ceiling. I've burned my bridges. I'm self-actualized. I'm going to fix everything. I AM FRIENDMAKER! HEAR ME ROAR!"
The princess steps outside.
And the world ends.
And... you're on a path in the woods... again... for a third time?
Author's Note
You reached an Act 2 Ending and information for it is below... but there is also an Act 3 ending... Travel down the path again here!
Ending Type B: Free the Princess.Specific Ending: "The Simp"
Some key questions:
Act 2 Ending Types:
Slay the Alicorn Princess
If you have found the memories of Applejack, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, and Pinkie Pie in the Act II endings and you reached either chapter 202 or 302, this is the secret "good" ending.
As the world ends with the narrator's death, you concentrate, furrowing your brow and hold the Princess' hooves. You talk about your friends--whose memories you have glimpsed. It's all coming back to you.
Applejack -- and her love of family .
Fluttershy -- and her gentle kindness .
Rainbow Dash -- and her brash loyalty .
Rarity -- and her sweet generosity .
& Pinkie Pie -- and her morale-raising parties .
You focus on those friends... and you make your way back.
You blink and see Princess Twilight Sparkle, Starlight Glimmer, and the rest.
"Princess Twilight!" Starlight Glimmer trots forward, breathless. "We thought you were gone for good."
"I thought I was too..." she says, then she reaches out. "Spike? Spike?"
You present yourself.
She hugs you. "I'm so sorry, Spike. I neglected you with all the governing I was failing at while trying to prevent society crumbling."
"It's not a problem."
"It is a problem when I decide it's a good idea to consult spirits of long-dead ponies and brood." She dismisses the simulacrum memory of her first pupil Starlight Glimmer. "I need to focus on people who care for me in the here and now."
You hear a booming at the end of the hall.
"The apocalypse is coming..." you note.
Princess Twilight sighs. "I'll remove the magic and life will survive. I cannot keep us in stasis forever."
"But what about the crow--what if it succeeds?"
Princess Twilight sets her face. "Some ponies want to stay in stasis forever... maybe we should let them? Maybe everypony should live forever.... but I can't make that reality."
"Princess..."
"Yes Spike."
"Do you think you were the crow? Did you split your personality and--"
Princess Twilight held up a hoof. "I think... we all... well, most of us, anyway, want to be the crow."
"The crow was wrong, right?"
"I..." Princess Twilight frowned. "I don't think it's possible to eliminate death. It doesn't mean we shouldn't try.... but we shouldn't destroy any world in doing so. That's deciding for everyone else."
"But you're taking away ponies' magic... you're deciding for them."
"Perhaps I am a monster. Perhaps I am wrong. Maybe all my options are bad. But at least... they will live."
With an ear-shattering crack of an earth-shattering spell--Princess Twilight opposing a certain apocalypse bearing down--cuts off pony magic from the universe--for a time.
Hundreds of years later, Sunny Starscout recovers magic for the entire world. But that is a story for another time....
Author's Note
Thank you for playing!
This is the secret 'good' ending!
It is a bit different from the video game's ending, so you may wish to check out the game!
View Online
Slay the Alicorn Princess
100: You're on a path in the woods... again (The Irritated)
"I am so dumb," a new voice says.
"Who are you?" you ask.
"I am you," the voice says, with a tinge of peevishness.
"Excuse me?" you say. "I already have a clumsy voice claiming to be part of me."
"And so am I," the voice says, with imperious finality.
"Do you have a name other than my own?"
"I do," the voice says.
"And it is..."
"I don't think you deserve the honor of having it shared with you," it says.
"Great," the narrator speaks up. "Let's move on from inane things and get on with slaying the princess."
"You're not going to give me an introduction?" you say.
The narrator grunts. "I am... I can sense something is off. You should not hear other 'voices'. Just me."
"You're awful," the unidentified voice sneers.
"You sound mighty irritated, but I do not rightly care," the narrator says. "My hero needs to go slay a princess before she ends the world."
"I am irritated!" the unidentified voice says, with a sneer.
"How about we call you... the voice of the irritated?" the voice of the clumsy suggests.
"Whatever," the voice of the irritated says with a verbal shrug.
"Get on now to the cabin."
"Don't wanna," the voice of the irritated says.
"We really shouldn't," the voice of the clumsy says.
"If you try to get away, you'll walk around in a circle and be right back where you started," the narrator warns.
"You lie!" the irritated insists.
"We can trust the narrator... somewhat," you say.
"You are a fool," the irritated replies. "You trusted the narrator and tried to slay the princess again and again and it didn't get you anywhere good. Try something else."
"Will you stop being obnoxious if I show you that walking away will not work?" you say.
"Fine!" the irritated lies.
You sigh and make the circuit and you end up back where you started.
"We just need to overcome the narrator's magic," the voice of the irritated asserts--shockingly in a strident rather than a peeved voice.
"I don't have any counter-magic, or any magic for that matter."
"Then... die and shatter into another voice. Maybe that one will have magic."
"I don't think that's how this works," you say.
"Yeah," the voice of the clumsy sighs. "You can't always get what you want."
"Ready to move it on?" the narrator asks.
"I hear you," you sigh and comply. You travel the path, through the woods, to the cabin and go inside.
The cabin's interior is a mess: a destroyed table in one corner, a smashed mirror in the other.
"Pick up the dagger and go downstairs," the narrator says.
You look around and, as you expected: "There's no dagger."
"You expected that?" the narrator asks. "You're entering my narrative? No. No. Can't be. Since there's no dagger, use the table legs to beat her--"
"The table's destroyed." Even its legs are beaten into uselessness.
"As useless as your advice, narrator," the voice of the irritated says.
"--And the mirror's shattered."
"What mirror?" the narrator asks.
"Whaaaaattt mirror--blah--blah--blah, blind ignoramus," the voice of the irritated mocks.
You look in the mirror and see yourself: reptillian eyes, claws, scales, spikes. You almost hit on some understanding--some memory, but then the narrator speaks up and the memory eludes you.
"Go on, go on, if you're already hearing several voices then we don't have much time. You have to slay the princess and do it yourself. It was a mistake to use implements--what I was thinking. Actually," the narrator pauses. "I think I know what I was thinking, but it was wrong. And you are a sort of implement yourself..."
"You're certain I can succeed."
"You have to succeed," the narrator says. "Our time is almost up. We're... running out of worlds."
"I propose an alternative," the voice of the irritated says.
"Yes?" you ask.
"Kill yourself."
"What?"
"Do something unexpected. Kill yourself."
"I don't know about that. Suicide is sort of final."
"Do you want to keep failing to slay the princess and failing to reach a resolution?"
"But I feel... each time, the situation becomes more clear. I feel like I am learning something... about myself. I see more in the mirror each time," you say.
"It's painful... dying, but if it has to happen..." the voice of the clumsy says.
"Good," the voice of the irritated says.
"I meant," the voice of the clumsy says. "Maybe we should slay the princess again? Give it one last, good shot. I can't always trip over myself and die, right?"
"The chances are infinitesimal... but in an infinite number of universes..." the narrator sighs.
The voice of the irritated scoffs. "Take control of your destiny. End this. Kill yourself."
GoTo: A. Do "Something Unexpected" (Kill Yourself).
B. Slay the Princess.
Slay the Alicorn Princess
101: Do "Something Unexpected"
You descend down the wrecked stairs to the princess. Nails and beams jut out higgedly-piggedly and you trip, but it's okay. You only scrape yourself and trail a little blood.
At the foot of the stairs, there's a writing purple mass, unbound by chains that lie useless in a corner. A horn grotesquely floats in the center of the goo and a susurrating moan emanates as the goo slides across the askew-angled cobblestone. A sparkle flickers from the goo-riding horn--magic!
Before some cruel spell can become effective, you do what the voice of the irritated suggested--"something unexpected". You practice your free will and, questing to end this torture: this endless loop of a story, the pain of dying and being reborn, the pain of enduring false ends and false hope and false stories, and so many things that barely make sense but that the narrator insists has meaning on a deep spiritual level--you claw out your throat.
And you die.
And that's the end.
This is the narrator speaking. You're reborn and the cycle continues, but you've lost your mind. Worthless . You'll fade, and I'll fade.
I failed. Death was not defeated.
And you failed. You didn't become one with the princess and restore yourselves to your world.
I should not have placed real creatures into the forms of concepts.
I will try again: gather my strength and concepts from all the realities--enough strength to anchor the concepts in their pure form.
One last try.
Let's discover how it turns out in... Slay the Princess! The video game .
Author's Note
This is an "Act Three" ending.
This "Act Three" is structured different from how the game did it, to encourage you to purchase the game if you liked this adventure.
Consider this Act Three ending a 01: Refusal ending.
You had enough of being manipulated.
You can start again and try to find a different ending .
Slay the Alicorn Princess
You race downstairs and you barely notice your surroundings. They're a blur. Literally, the surroundings are all a blur--the walls, the stairs, the ceiling, the floor--it's all blurry black charcoal.
Your claws are out and you're ready for the princess. But she's hard to find. The entire basement--a cavern really--is shaking and your reptilian eyes can't focus on anything. Up and down and up and down. You slash at anything that comes near. You feel metal, and then a chain breaks.
"Watch it!" the princess shrieks. "You almost slashed my fetlock."
"You fool!" The voice of the irritated complains. "You can't win this fight."
"We'll just trip and fall and die again," the voice of the clumsy sighs.
You say nothing, and strike out toward the sound.
"You're trying to kill me. But I'm harmless. I'm fading away," she says. "I don't really matter. Nothing here does. We're all pretext. Prequel to context." Then she claws you in your back. You strike in response. She's a blob of dark purple ink--so dark she almost blends into the black paint of the walls. And you're a blur of viciousness, ripping and tearing.
And you both bleed.
"Good work!" the narrator laughs. "You did it."
You shatter the fourth wall--clumsily.
The narrator, a crow with a protruding black beak blinks at you. "You're not supposed to be here."
"You--" you sigh.
"It hurts to talk. So don't," the voice of the irritated insists.
"You did this," you wheeze, eyes lolling up at the looming narrator.
The narrator clicks and looks at the dying princess and then at you. And he sighs. "I could bandage you, but you're going to die before she does."
"You can... help?" the voice of the clumsy pleads.
The narrator shakes his head. "I set this in motion, but I can't effect this--not like this. I have to try again."
"No,"
"Don't worry. I can't use you as a vessel any more."
"A vessel?"
"You broke the fourth wall... you're tainted. I need to... try again and instead of placing real creatures into conceptual forms, I will gather concepts from all the realities and enough strength to anchor them in their pure forms. One last try."
"What are you--"
"I am... well... I'm you... in a way." The narrator looks at the princess, laboring to breathe. "In a way..."
"Please--explain--"
"Perhaps if you had taken a different path..." the narrator ponders. "But that matters not now."
"I--not you--since you'll be dead-- will discover how my new plan turns out in... Slay the Princess! The video game .
But for now, you die.
Author's Note
This is an "Act Three" ending.
This "Act Three" is structured different from how the game did it, to encourage you to purchase the game if you liked this adventure.
Consider this Act Three ending a 02: Manipulated ending.
You were manipulated.
You can start again and try to find a different ending .
View Online
Slay the Alicorn Princess
200: You're on a path in the woods... again (The Lost)
You're on a path in the woods and you have a splitting headache. The princess is holding your hand.
The princess... who you are supposed to slay... is holding your hand.
The princess... who is supposed to be in the basement of the cabin in the woods... is outside. And the world has not ended.
"This isn't right at all," the narrator says.
That's the narrator's voice all right.
"How could she have escaped? The world didn't end... But no, she hasn't escaped and she isn't outside."
"Do you know where we are? Can you help me?" a timid voice speaks up.
The narrator ignores the voice. "You didn't follow the script. You didn't do what I asked!"
"I'm scared--a little--" the princess says, trembling and squinting. "I thought we were together and that we would be together as friends."
"And you are!" the voice of the friend speaks up.
"We're still friends," you say.
"But then we weren't anything any more. Everything ended. Again," the princess says. "And then we were here."
"I'm scared too," the new voice says.
You squeeze the princess' fetlock, just above her hoof.
"Don't worry," you tell the voice and the princess. "We're all here together."
"I feel so lost," the voice says. "Nothing is right. Nothing makes sense. We could save the princess and we're still here. We freed the princess and the world ended but now we're here."
"We could make our own story...." you suggest.
The princess narrows her eyes. "Making our own story is what got me here."
"Pardon?" You ask.
"Some of my past is coming back. I think... I might be responsible for this..." The princess says. "Narrator--you must have another name. What is it?"
The narrator ignores her.
"We don't know anything at all," the lost voice says. "We don't even know my name."
"We could call you the voice of the lost?" the voice of the friend suggests.
"The lost... I like that. Until I find myself."
"Makes sense," you say.
"Okay," the narrator huffs and puffs. "We can still salvage this utter disaster--our whole conceit has been turned topsy-turvy but the world is still around, so let us, perhaps, just imagine the cabin is surrounding both of you here and now. In the here and now. Now."
"The cabin--" you say, furrowing your brow at the strangeness of the narrator's suggestion.
The cabin materializes around you.
"It's always here. It must have been invisible, but it isn't now and the princess is contained and the world has not ended, so everything is fine. This is nice, good and quaint," the narrator sighs.
There's a mirror, a table, and... a dagger. The cabin is the same as when you first saw it.
"Everything's fixed," the narrator huffs, then the narrator coughs. "Except... we need to reboot. Let's imagine the princess is dead. You killed her. We can start again in a non-error-state next time. I think. Because we couldn't have gotten to this state unless we were already in a failure state. Please, just... let's imagine that everything is fine and the princess is dead."
GoTo: a. Imagine that.
b. Don't imagine that.
Slay the Alicorn Princess
You find it difficult to resist the narrator's request, and you imagine what the narrator suggested.
"I'm sorry. It's just like with the cabin," you say. "I feel so dumb and suggestible."
Princess Twilight frowns. "I... also feel like I do what you suggest. I'm not sure I am self-actualizing."
"A true friend would help with that!" the voice of the friend says.
"Yes... but perhaps I'm not a true friend..." you say.
Princess Twilight's face starts turning blue and she collapses.
"You didn't--" the voice of the friend gasps, finally grasping the situation.
"It's hard to keep one's sense of self when one's being narrated," the voice of the lost says, comfortingly.
"You... tried hard... not to.... I... forgive you," Princess Twilight Sparkle chokes out. Then, she falls over, asphyxiated.
The princess is dead.
"A true true friend is a friend indeed..." the voice of the friend mourns.
"You got what you wanted, narrator," you say. "Now what?"
"Now..." the narrator sighs. "Now we reboot, and we try again. I have isolated a subdimension of possibilities. We need to re-start... from the very beginning ."
He pauses. "Go ahead, click the link. Or go back to the beginning another way. It matters not to me."
Author's Note
This is an "Act Three" ending.
This "Act Three" is structured different from how the game did it, to encourage you to purchase the game if you liked this adventure.
Consider this Act Three ending a 05: Tragedy ending.
You can start again and try to find a different ending or to track down the memories of Applejack, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, and Pinkie Pie.
Slay the Alicorn Princess
"I can't imagine that," you say. "She's my friend."
"Oh no, no, no," the narrator chirps. "This construct is breaking apart. She used you--she made you her servant. Her slave!"
"That's not true. We were true friends... in this life," you say.
"I am not talking about this life! She was your adopted sister. And she ignored you and made you work for her!""
"Spike!" the Princess calls out. "I remember!"
"She remembers how she exploited you!"
"But Spike--that's not all there was. There were good times too. And oh Spike, I am so sorry."
"You're sorry... now. When you need me?" you ask.
"I wish I remembered..." the voice of the lost muses.
"I remember we were friends..." the voice of the friend asserts. "True friends. We owed each other our lives. When everypony else we knew from our youth died... we shared our lives."
"I am--I've apologized to you before, and I took corrective actions. Remember? I was wrong. Please remember."
You do.
"Aha!" the narrator exclaims. "Reboot. Restart. Just the spell."
"Wait!" you call out.
"This is far too dangerous a situation. You could ruin everything. You cannot remember. You need to go back to the start."
"I will not!" you say.
"You don't have a choice."
"I think... I am very powerful," the princess says.
"We knew that already..." the voice of the lost says.
"But I know a relevant spell.... It relates to my other old friends... If I could just remember something about them--"
"I'm remembering some of them!" the voice of the friend insists.
You grasp at memories. You are almost there--but the narrator is speaking and it's jumbling your thoughts.
"Fine. You won't remember this, since we're doing a hard reboot, so I will share a secret. You are correct. I took... you from a world and jammed you into intellectual concepts. I know you Princess Twilight Sparkle, and you, Prince Spike."
Your eyes widen. It comes back to you. But you can't focus on your friends. You just focus on yourself.
"Insidious!" the voice of the lost calls out,
Together, the voice of the lost and the voice of the friend call together: "focus on your friends!"
You do your best to keep remembering. The princess does too.
"I do not think you can get back to where you came from--no matter how hard you try. You have accomplished the best good deed any creatures can do. I am sorry for your sacrifice. I am sacrificing myself too. Princess Twilight should understand that at least, because we are--perhaps I should not share that... just in case." The narrator sighs. "Next time, I will focus on bringing out concepts alone. I have--I have learned so much from filling your vessels with the concepts. Now, I can use the concepts themselves. They should be more malleable and less apt to go astray. My plan should turn out better in... Slay the Princess... the video game .
The world explodes.
IF you have found the memories of Applejack, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, and Pinkie Pie in the Act II endings, click here for the secret ending .
Otherwise, see the Author's Notes below.
Author's Note
This is an "Act Three" ending.
This "Act Three" is structured different from how the game did it, to encourage you to purchase the game if you liked this adventure.
Consider this Act Three ending a 04: Friendship ending. There are two Friendship endings.
You may start again and try to find a different ending or you could track down the memories of Applejack, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, and Pinkie Pie and then make your way back here.
View Online
Slay the Alicorn Princess
300: You're on a path in the woods... again (The Vengeful)
"You're on a path in the woods," an obnoxious voice speaking in your head says, "--and you're going to slay the Princess."
"I know," you say. "The princess got out last time."
"The princess got out?"
You nod.
"But we're still here, in this cycle. Something's wrong..." the narrator muses. "If you had died, then we might have started again, but she escaped. We should have failed."
"Perhaps the problem is YOU!" a new voice--bitter and booming--resounds in your head.
"It's definitely you," the voice of the boss--still taking up place in your head--says.
"I don't care if you gang up against me. You don't matter. Our hero is the only one who matters. And, the princess."
"We need to end this cycle," the new voice says. "And the way we end the cycle is by ending the one who started it."
"You can't end me. I'm the narrator. You need me," the narrator says, with a chirping squeak.
"With enough time, we can figure it out," the new voice says.
"So vengeful. I like it," the voice of the boss says.
"Should I call you the voice of vengeance?"
"That sounds sweet," the voice says.
"Let's get rid of this 'narrator'," the voice of vengeance insists.
"I remember something about friendship, though," you note, recalling your past life. "Weren't you interested in making friends?" you ask the boss.
"Sort of," the boss demurs.
"Wouldn't it be better if we could... manipulate the narrator into becoming our friend?"
"That is intriguing... but it may not be possible..." the boss ponders.
"We could try."
"If we had enough knowledge. Enough books... then perhaps it might be possible..." the boss continues to think.
"You really should slay the princess," the narrator insists. "Third time's the charm and all that jazz...."
GoTo: a. Slay the Narrator
b. Make the Narrator your Friend
c. Slay the Princess
Slay the Alicorn Princess
"It's not so hard, when you think about it," the voice of vengeance says as, after a thousand thousands of tries, you reach the narrator.
The princess stands at your side, a smug smile on her lips. "I told you, after reading all books that ever existed, at the end of it all--then we'd have him."
"So amazing," you simper.
The princess puts a paternal hoof on your shoulder and presses hard, pushing you to the floor. She offers another hoof to your face. "Sniff my regal hoof."
"You do it," the narrator narrates.
"That wasn't narration. Oh no," the narrator realizes the problem. "But there was narration before, and just now."
"I'm doing the narration," the voice of vengeancesays. "You're just dialogue."
"We've come for you, narrator," the voice of the boss says. "Now would you kindly lay down and die?"
You descend on the narrator and tear out its throat.
But that does not lead to your freedom. You have access to the narrator's demesne--unlimited access to an interstitial nothingness. But, you're still not back in the world--the real one--or at least the one that's real enough for you to accept for continuing to live your life.
You've read every tome ever written. You know everything about your world: its princesses, its struggles. But you're not in that world and although your head is full of knowledge and you've ripped out the motivating force and fulfilled whatever destiny you might have had... you still don't know who you are.
The princess stares at you and arches an eyebrow. You stare into her bewitching eyes, so large, so sparkling, so demanding that you lose yourself.
At least... at least, even though you have nothing else remaining and forget how you got here and what you were doing here and why you were here and why you were even alive--you still have the honor of serving your princess. Forever.
You've rebelled. You've overthrown the narrative. And now, there is nothing left.
THE END.
And then you fade.
Author's Note
This is an "Act Three" ending.
This "Act Three" is structured different from how the game did it, to encourage you to purchase the game if you liked this adventure.
Consider this Act Three ending a 03: Rebellion ending.
You were manipulated by the narrator and the princess.
You can start again and try to find a different ending .
Slay the Alicorn Princess
302: Make the Narrator your friend.
"Come on," you say. "We can all get along."
You sit, under a bodhi tree, meditating and smoking pipes and seeking the inner truths of the universe.
"I still say we should kill the jerk," the voice of the vengeful insists.
"Breathe in... breathe out..." the voice of the boss says, hypnotically.
"Ommmmm...." The princess hums while she sits in a lotus pose.
The basement this time was calm, meditative, and it helped you understand a higher purpose.
"I never realized we could make people be friends by chilling," you say.
"You can't," the narrator objects.
"Can we?"
The narrator sighs. "I'm fading away. It's been too long and I am growing too weak. Fine," the narrator coughs. "I give up." The narrator peels back the fabric of space and time and shows a true form--that of a crow.
"Woah," the princess' eyes bulge.
"Expecting someone taller?"
"Nah," the princess blinks and bats away her shock. "Here," she gestures. "Join our circle."
Joints creaking, the crow passes into the princess' world and joins the group. A long time passes.
"It's time," the crow says, with a parched voice. "We broke the fourth wall... you're tainted. I will need to... try again and instead of placing real creatures into the forms of concepts, I will gather my strength and concepts from all the realities--enough strength to anchor the concepts in their pure form. One last try."
"How can you do that if your time is almost up?" the princess says.
"Kill it--catch it now!" the vengeful insists.
"Wait," the boss says. "We're concepts?"
"We did discuss that possibility," you point out.
"But you're real creatures," the boss insists, indicating you and the princess.
"Yes... they are..." the crow sighs.
"What are you?"
"I'm... well... I'm you... in a way." The crow looks at the princess, laboring to breathe. "In a way..."
"Please--explain--"
"I took... you from a world and put you into concepts. I know you Princess Twilight Sparkle, and you, Prince Spike."
Your eyes widen. It comes back to you.
"But I do not think you can get back to where you came from--no matter how hard you try. You have accomplished the best good deed any creatures can do. I am sorry for your sacrifice. I am sacrificing myself too. Princess Twilight should understand that at least, because we are--perhaps I should not share that... just in case." The narrator sighs. "Next time, I will focus on bringing out concepts alone. I have--I have learned so much from filling your vessels with the concepts. Now, I can use the concepts themselves. They should be more malleable and less apt to go astray. My plan should turn out better in... Slay the Princess... the video game .
The narrator dies.
And the world explodes.
IF you have found the memories of Applejack, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, and Pinkie Pie in the Act II endings, click here for the secret ending .
Otherwise, see the Author's Notes below.
Author's Note
This is an "Act Three" ending.
This "Act Three" is structured different from how the game did it, to encourage you to purchase the game if you liked this adventure.
Consider this Act Three ending a 04: Friendship ending. There are two of them.
You may start again and try to find a different ending or you could track down the memories of Applejack, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, and Pinkie Pie and then make your way back here.
Slay the Alicorn Princess
In stories, the third time really does usually succeed when the first few times fail for unexpected reasons. The narrator's request makes narrative sense! So, you decide to slay the princess.
You make your way to the cabin in the woods. You go inside. There isn't a table at all, or a dagger. There is a mirror, but you smash it, bloodying your fist.
"We're not going to take it any more!" the voice of vengeance screams.
"Don't do this!" the voice of the boss says. "You're supposed to listen to me."
"I just want to knock everything down!" you say. "I'm tired of this obnoxious storybook I seem to be trapped in."
"You're going with 'trapped in a storybook'... fair enough," the narrator says. "Yeah, that's what this is. Kill the princess and get out of the story book. Then, marry your groom. The Princess' Groom --a good title for a Neverending Story . Still better, the princess is a pony--ponies have grooms, but you aren't supposed to marry her... that doesn't work. Besides, it already happened. Perhaps instead, we need a Labyryinth ."
"What nonsense are you sprouting?" you ask.
"References from a universe's 1980s movies. I play them for myself while I'm waiting for you to do something."
"Don't listen to the narrator! Smash everything and then kill the narrator!" the voice of vengeance says.
"That's why you're on board with killing the princess? Order of operations doesn't matter?" the voice of the boss asks.
"Yeah!" the voice of vengeance calls out.
You try to open the door to the basement. It's locked. You knock it down with a heavy shoulder. It snaps and you head down an Escheresque staircase. Then you head up. You head right. Left. Up. Down. It takes an eternity. You reach the ground. The walls close in--they shift and they turn.
"We should track where we go in this... labyrinth... with something, a string, perhaps."
"We don't have a string," you say. Then, you prick your body with a claw. Blood drips. "We'll use this."
"A blood trail... at least it can't be cut," the voice of the boss says. "I admire your inventiveness, at least."
"Blood!" the voice of vengeance says with delight.
You trace your trail and, able to avoid going over the same place twice and to foil the shifting walls by smashing through a few of them, you meet the princess. She's chained by iron, has the head of a minotaur, and clenches her teeth--set and seething with an indomitable will.
"Iron Will?" you ask, momentarily confused. "I mean... you will not dissuade me from my task. I have an iron will. I think that's what I meant to say."
"Iron will meant that much to you?" the narrator asks. "Actually... ignore that."
"That phrase reminds me of a name..." the voice of the boss says.
"I will grind your bones to make my bread," the princess threatens and pulls at her chains--they strain against the wall and then you hear the shuddering. The stairs collapse. The walls collapse. The princess has brought down the structure. You are struck by a stone.
And then you die.
*.*
Author's Note
This is an "Act Three" ending.
This "Act Three" is structured different from how the game did it, to encourage you to purchase the game if you liked this adventure.
Consider this Act Three ending a 06: Disaster ending.
There isn't a lot of insight with this ending,
You can start again and try to find a different ending or to track down the memories of Applejack, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, and Pinkie Pie.
Slay the Alicorn Princess
INDEX: Spoilers Abound (In Spoiler Tags)
INDEX:
Spoilers abound in this Index, which lists the types of Princesses and Voices you may encounter, and a full list of endings.
Princesses
Act 1: The Alicorn
Voices
The Clumsy
Castles
PrisonUkiyo-e Others
Act 2 Ending Types:
A. Slay the Princess
"Endings"
A: "The Betrayer"
Secret Mane Six Endings
One Ending A: Rainbow Dash
Act III Endings
01: Refusal
Author's Note
Please feel free to share your theories,
Or, share your favorite experiences ("I loved being a Slug!")
Share what ending you like! If you were trapped in this situation, how would you end? ("I guess I'd be an Oaf...")
spoofing the video game's advertising image.