Chapters Roboteers are you ready!?
Author's Note
First thing over a thousand words yay *confetti* so i can finally submit something *less confetti* lets hope for the best
Abandonment & Ascension
The seventh war had finished and the robots eagerly awaited the next year and the next chance to rip each other to shreds. Of course no one could tell that the robots felt anything but things had a funny way of working out. Truth be told all the robots had some level of sentience beyond their puppeteer. They had no way of expressing their free will aside from the occasional unexplained failure. For now though the robots went to sleep for another year for a day that would never come. The garage doors slammed shut, the tools dropped, and the sun set. Then about five years after they started sleeping, the robots woke up.
The sun was shining and Ponyville was roaring with life. The midday market had opened up and the population of Ponyville were there buying what they needed for dinner that day or just a treat for them. Away from the clatter of bits or the drone of hagglers trying for deals something was stirring. In a dark alley that was almost a parallel to the rest of Ponyville. Four ponies woke up after five long years. "Bloody 'ell! How long has it been since I woke up last?" Razer said as he stretched his back. Wait. Back? Said? Something wasn't right.
"You mean we finally get to fight agai-CHRIST! Razer is that you?" Firestorm was rudely awoken.
"Real nice Firestorm. I appreciate it." Razer dead panned.
"Will you...... SHUT THE HELL UP!" Hypno-Disc yelled, apparently not being morning robot...or midday robot.
"I swear if that's you Razer I don't care how woke me But I will dismantle you!" Tornado grumbled, reigniting a rivalry.
"Can we focus on something here. Then we can kill each other." Razer said trying to establish some semblance of order. "We all appear to be.....horses I guess. I don't really get out of my garage much in case you didn't know. But I think our first course of action is getting back our old forms." Razer concluded.
The others hadn't noticed it until now but they were indeed horses. Razer was a gray pony with bat like wings at his side and although it was subtle in Razer's mouth were two fangs shaped like his namesake weapon.His mane was a darker gray with a few yellow stripes and his eyes were blue like his wheels used to be.On his flank was a crude cartoon like depiction of his robot form
Firestorm was a yellow pony lacking wings or a horn however he just seemed inherently stronger than the others. His mane was red but slowly faded into yellow with a circle like patten of yellow and red, his eyes were orange like fire and his cutie mark, much like Razer's, was his robot form.
Hypno-Disc was a similar shade of gray to Razer however instead of wings Hypno-Disc had a horn atop his head. His mane was much curlier than the others, the mixture of black and white with the curls mimicking Hypno-Disc signature weapon. One of his eyes was black while the other took on a more gray tone and like the others, his robot form adorned his flanks.
Tornado was a crimson pony and similarly to Hypno-Disc had a horn. His mane was a mixture of white and black except in a straighter style than Hypno-Disc's, His eyes mirrored the crimson colour of his fur. Like the others he also had his robot form for a cutie mark.
Meanwhile High above the clouds in an academy for the elite.....
"FALL IN!!" A loud commanding voice roared "LEFT RIGHT LEFT RIGHT LEFT RIGHT LEFT!" The voice came again this time louder.
Everypony gathered in the centre of the courtyard, not to follow commands due to this voice being nothing like the commanding officer's. Out of the shadows strode a green pegasus the size of an earth pony. Upon his flank was an odd machine, it's green hue matching that of his coat and mane. The pony's right fore hoof was missing, in it's place was an odd metal talon. Stranger than this though was the mechanism that adorned his back. Under each wing was a red metal tank, attached to these tanks were metal pipes which lead to a machine not known by pony kind.
"YOU ARE THE SORRIEST BUNCH OF MAGGOTS I HAVE EVER SEEN!" This pony obviously did not know what an indoor voice was. "TO MAKE UP FOR THIS YOU WILL ALL DROP AND GIVE ME 50!" Not one pony listened. "I SAID!" He paused. "DROP!" Upon saying this a massive burst of flame erupted from the mechanism on his back.
Instantly all the ponies dropped to the floor and began doing wing ups. Except for one. "And who the hay do you think you are!? you're not in charge here!" A rainbow maned pony spoke up from the crowd.
"LISTEN HERE MISSY I AM A SERGEANT AND YOU. WILL. FOLLOW. MY. ORDERS." The shouty bloke said punctuating each word with a flame.
"Missy!? I am no missy I am THE Rainbow dash!" Rainbow dash exclaimed as she flew towards the Sergeant, stopping inches from his face.
"YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT HAPPENS TO UNCOOPERATIVE TROOPS IN MY PLATOON!?" The Sergeant said rivalling the royal Canterlot voice.
"What? you gonna send me hom-" Rainbow dash was cut off as the metal talon of the Sergeant began to crush her neck.
"I WILL SEND YOU HOME IN A BAG PRIVATE!" The Sergeant screamed as he dropped the choking dashie off the cliff edge of the academy.
"Someone get the wonderbolts!" one of the ponies in the crowd spoke up.
"WHICH ONE OF YOU SORRY SACKS OF SHIT WAS THAT?" The Sergeant quickly turned and let loose more fire after dropping rainbow dash.
Falling. Plummeting. Descending. Rainbow dash was all three of these things right now. She couldn't wake up she had lost conciousness due to a lack of oxygen.
"Wake up! Celestia dammit wake up!" These were the thoughts running through dash's mind as the ground drew closer with every passing second. Suddenly her eyes shot open and Rainbow made a near perfect 90 degree turn. However she was still slightly out of it thanks to being choked. As she drew closer to Ponyville her altitude began to dip eventually she couldn't fly any longer and crashed into a small back alley.
"Bloody hell lady you alright!?"....
Roboteers are you ready!?
A less than brilliant introduction
"Bloody hell lady are you alright?!" Firestorm jumped back from the mare who landed in front of him.
"Well said prince charming." Razer sarcastically droned
"You wanna go Razer?" Firestorm said, unearthing his fighting passion
"Did you forget how our previous fights went? they should have just listed ME as one of your weaknesses!" Razer retorted
"Okay that's it!" Firestorm spun around and kicked Razer sending him flying backwards as if he was hit by Firestorm's flipper
Razer flared his wings. "Okay. go time." Razer charged at Firestorm and bore his fangs. Having pierced Firestorm's skin Razer smashed Firestorm into a nearby wall
Rainbow dash began to wake up from her unscheduled nap, not that any of them were scheduled to begin with but this one especially. The sight she awoke to was two ponies fighting...One of which appeared to be a bat pony. Rainbow got up with the intent to stop the fight before she was stopped by a gray unicorn.
"What's the deal!? those too are fighting we need to stop them!" Rainbow protested.
"In all honesty its better if we let them settle their differences like this." The gray pony replied.
"I.....don't follow." Rainbow had a puzzled look on her face.
"They've done much worse to each other, heck Hypno here has done a lot worse to Firestorm than Razer ever could." A crimson pony spoke up, gesturing to the respective ponies upon mentioning their names.
"He's Tornado. the only way he ever beat Razer was through cheating." Hypno-Disc cheerfully added.
"OI!"
"You know I'm right 'nado. You tried to cheat against me once with an... anti flywheel frame wasn't it?"
"This is not over. Got it, Hypno-hippie?" Tornado grumbled.
"As for now we should focus on cluing in this young lady here. We never got your name did we?"
Rainbow was still trying to comprehend what she had just heard. What she had pieced together that these four ponies hated each other but were friends. There's a unicorn named Tornado and an Earth pony named Firestorm. Seemed to be kinda weird naming. Also the one called Tornado was a cheater apparently. "Uh Dash, Rainbow Dash!" Rainbow finally spoke getting more and more proud with each word.
"Oh great another Plunderbird..." Hypno-Disc whispered to himself. "So! Rainbow, may I ask why you crashed just now?"
"Good question. I think..." Before Rainbow had a chance to think she was cut off by her stomach grumbling in protest. "Can we continue this conversation at Sugarcube corner?"
Razer threw Firestorm again. "Did you just say Sugarcube corner?" Razer questioned the nonsense he just heard.
"Yeah." Dash sidestepped to avoid Firestorm sliding across the ground.
"Uncle!" Firestorm yelled interrupting Dashie.
"As I was saying.... Sugarcube corner. It's a local bakery, we can talk there." Dash concluded
"Fair enough, let's go." Tornado said, wanting to leave the alley.
"Oh boy I'm the new world champion again! I'd like to thank my crew for this honour." Panic Attack was asleep on the ground in the Everfree forest. Sadly he was rudely awoken from his delusions of grandeur.
"Wackee wackee Panic." Dominator 2 prodded Panic Attack with a magic construct resembling his axe. "Seriously Panic. Wake the hell up."
"AHH DANGER!" Cheese yelled before kicking out his back legs, sending Panic Attack so high he actually went above the forest canopy.
"Sentinel be kind!" Panic yelled as he soared through the air. Panic Attack crashed through the roof of a hut in the forest.
"Oh? who is this odd fellow? Who crashed through my roof with his coat of yellow." A very startled zebra said.
Panic Attack was extremely dazed. Partly due to just waking up but mainly due to his less than spectacular landing. "Sky! Crash! p
Panic Attack came to. His first sight was a gold coloured unicorn with a mane resembling fire. The unicorn had an annoyed look on his face made even more powerful by his fire red eyes. What really caught Panic's eye though was what looked like a tattoo of Dominator 2 on the unicorn's butt.
"Wait.....are you?" Panic Attack began.
"Yes Panic I'm Dominator 2. Can we just call me Dominator?" Dominator replied in a slightly irked tone, clearly not happy with the day so far.
"Oh good he's awake! I thought I killed him with that kick." An extremely large earth pony walked into view. His coat was yellow and his mane was crimson. He wore a very apologetic look on his face, his amber eyes looked on the verge of tears. This pony however had a picture of Wheely Big Cheese on his flank.
"Okay." Panic Attack was trying not to laugh. "Why are you two ponies?" Not being able to hold it any more he burst into laughter.
"Uhhh Panic...." Cheese began. "You're kinda a pony too." Cheese moved a mirror so that Panic Attack could see himself.
Panic screamed. Gone was his forklift-like powerhouse of a body. In its place was a yellow earth pony. It's mane was an alternating pattern of black and yellow. His face wore a worried look contrasting his menacing crimson eyes. On his flank was the once proud robot form of Panic attack.
"Strange ponies, you are not of this world. from which one have you been hurled?" Zecora spoke up.
"Did you just speak in rhyme?" Dominator began while Cheese counselled Panic. "And we're from a world known as earth...."
Meanwhile back in Ponyville five ponies approached Sugar cube corner "And this is Sugarcube corner" Rainbow concluded her tour of the route to Sugarcube corner.
"The architecture is um....cute." Firestorm made his opinion known. The others nodded in agreement
Before anyone else could speak though they were interrupted. A medium sized stallion with a black and red polka dot coat ran out of the doors of Sugarcube corner .His face was contorted in pain as his green eyes winced.
"JESUS CHRIST SOMEONE HELP I'M ON FIRE!" The pony began in a thick Irish accent
"Is that..?" Razer began prompting the others to take turns answering.
"Diotoir? Yep."
"And is he?"
"On fire? Yep."
"And am I?"
"Surprised? Nope."
Roboteers are you ready!?
"Should we put him out?" Rainbow asked, watching Diotoir running around in circles with his tail on fire.
"Hmmmm nah this happens about 5 times a month, 6 if we're lucky." Tornado chuckled.
"Wait this is a common occurrence!?" Rainbow was shocked, how could one of their friends burning be a common thing
"I'M STILL BURNING GOOD GOD THIS HURTS"
"Good for you Diotoir!" Razer chuckled. "And yes Diotoir burning is like the sun rising, its pretty much guaranteed."
As Diotoir continued to burn, his saving grace arrived. "Don't worry Diotoir I found the fire extinguisher!" A mare's voice came from inside the bakery
"WELL BLOODY GET OUT HERE THEN!" Was Diotoir's reply. The fire on his tail getting gradually closer to his flanks.
The shutter doors of Sugarcube corner flung open and instead of Pinkie Pie a dark blue unicorn stood there. Her eyes were yellow like those of a cat. Her mane was a mixture of gun metal gray and jet black. On her flank was a crude cartoon of no other robot than Pussycat.
"Hold still Diotoir!" Pussycat yelled as she fired the extinguisher. Instead of anything you'd normally find in a fire extinguisher, out came pink frosting. Thankfully it did put Diotoir's tail out.
"Phew thanks Pussycat." Diotoir said in a much more relaxed tone.
Rainbow was stifling a giggle. She leant over to Firestorm "Is her name really...."
"The novelty wears off after a while." Firestorm said, clearly understanding her reason to laugh.
The short silence was swiftly broken by a very high pitched gasp "MORE NEW PONIES!? oh my gosh I am gonna throw so many parties!" A voice all too familiar to Rainbow dash said.
A pink blur rushed out of Sugarcube corner and stopped inches from Razer's face. "Hi! I'm pinkie who are you? And you? Oh and you? And you too?" Pinkie exclaimed, rushing to each pony. "WAIT tell me at the party later!" With that final statement the pony rushed off leaving a pink smoke cloud behind.
"I...but...how...why?" Razer was at a loss for words.
Rainbow chuckled. "You get used to it...eventually."
"Oh joy." Razer rolled his eyes
Just on the outskirts of Appleoosa a large bronze coloured buffalo was passed out. He began to wake up, unfortunately for him there was a large pile of rubble on top of him. But this buffalo was strong, incredibly so. With little to no effort he shunted the rubble away.
"Right....time to get to work." The buffalo gained a sadistic grin to his face.
Fastening a nearby pickaxe to his back, the buffalo made his way towards the town.
"Well hay there! welcome to AAAAAAAPPPLEOOOOO-" Braeburn was thrown into a nearby building. This buffalo obviously was not one for conversation.
The buffalo made his way towards the sheriff's office, on the way he struck a wheel of a running cart with his pick causing it to veer out of control into the saloon. Several ponies attempted to stop the psychotic buffalo all of them were thrown out of the way. The local deputy was a tad more stubborn but was swiftly silenced with a pickaxe between the eyes.
This caused all the ponies in the town to scatter and hide in their homes. The buffalo made his way up the steps, sadly the door was locked. This was not a large problem though, with a swift kick the door was reduced to splinters. The receptionist was cowering behind her desk. The sheriff on the other hand....
"Now ah don't know who ya are but you can't mess with mah town! Mah citizens! And expect to get away with it!" The sheriff attempted to psyche out the opposing buffalo
"Oh but I will." The buffalo grinned before charging. The sheriff dodged the charge quickly, sending the buffalo into and through the back wall.
"Take that ya varmint!" The sheriff celebrated unfortunately this celebration was all too premature. The building began to shake, pillars crumbled and the exits were shut off by the rubble. The sheriff took off his hat, he knew what was coming. He didn't scream as the rubble crushed him.
The buffalo climbed to the top of what used to be town hall. He looked over what was now his town and grinned.
Panic Attack, Dominator and Wheely Big Cheese were just leaving Zecora's hut.
"Goodbye you odd folk. if you get lost remember the words I spoke!" Zecora told them as they left.
"Thank god! I don't think I could stand much more rhyming." Dominator spoke up as they reached the edge of the forest
"Yeah I mean she's a nice person or zebra but that just got annoying." Panic agreed. Wheely Big Cheese remained silent.
"Hey fellas...does that look like a farm or do my new eyes deceive me?" Dominator pointed out a sign of civilization.
"Yeah it does don't it?" Cheese broke his silence.
All three broke into a sprint in the hopes of getting food for their new bodies.
On the fields they saw two ponies both of similar size. One was a red earth pony with a ginger mane.The other was more interesting though, he shared a similar colour scheme to panic attack. A yellow body with a black and yellow mane. The key differences being his almost white eyes and larger size. The biggest tell however was what the zebra called a cutie mark. This pony's cutie mark was the robot Behemoth.
"Hey! hey Bay-ah-moth!" Panic Attack yelled mispronouncing Behemoth's name like everyone else did.
"For the last time its BUH-HE-MOTH Not bay-ah-moth, Behemoth! MY NAME IS BEHEMOTH DAMMIT!" Behemoth finally lost it taking out his frustration on a nearby tree and kicking straight through it.
"Geez Behemoth calm it down a bit. I didn't realize it got under your chassis so much." Dominator said trying to calm the raging giant.
"Its like you can't even read basic English!" Behemoth yelled, starting to calm down a bit before storming off.
"Well that just happened..." Wheely Big Cheese said ironically breaking the silence
"Eeyup" Big mac said in response to the break down he just witnessed.
Roboteers are you ready!?
Brain dead and Dead metal
"Okay, so run that by me one more time you two." Razer wore a quizzical look on his face.
"Alright so me and Pussycat here woke up in this bakery." Diotoir began.
"Then we met this pink lady who was like super friendly and she offered to teach us how to bake!" Cat continued.
"So we started baking but then we turned the oven on and I caught fire. Then I ran into you lot!" Diotoir smiled.
"You. Are way too happy Diotoir." Firestorm commented on the unwavering smile on Diotoir's face.
"Silly! You can't be too happy!" Pussycat spoke up.
"Did that pink pony tell you that?" Hypno said dryly.
"Yep!" Both Diotoir and Pussycat said in unison.
Razer groaned.
"So...Rainbow Dash wasn't it? You were going to tell us why you crashed into us?" Tornado said in a vague attempt to change the conversation topic.
"Yeah. So I was training at the Wonderbolt academy..." Dash began
"Wonderbolt?"
"Quiet Razer!"
"Aaaaanyway. I was training when this weird pony comes out of nowhere and when I say weird I mean weirder than you guys" Rainbow continued
"Hey!"
"Quiet Razer!"
"So this pony is acting like he owns the place! yelling at the cadets and calling himself a Sergeant..." Rainbow Continued.
Diotoir visibly twitched at the mention of "Sergeant"
"And he had like this claw for one of his hooves! but the strangest thing was on his back! it was like a dragon! Every time he activated it the thing shot fire out! and then I decided the best thing to do was ru-uhhhh I mean tactical retreat and here I am!" Rainbow concluded
"Y-you mean S-Sergeant Bash is h-here!?" All the colour seemed to drain from Diotoir's face. He let out a shriek of fear so high pitched that the glass Razer was drinking his milkshake out of shattered. Then Diotoir feinted.
"Dammit Diotoir I was drinking that!" Razer yelled, not caring for Diotoir's well being.
"Wait a sec..." Pussycat began "If ol Bashy is here what's not to say the other arseholes aren't?"
"You may have a point there Pussy." Hypno-Disc said. Rainbow giggled. "But I have assorted pastries in front of me and these don't try to murder me. So by all means go hunt the house robots but I'm gonna eat" Hypno finished, getting back to his meal
"Wait! Did you just say....Robot?" Rainbow said in the most quizzical tone she could muster
Tornado facehoofed "Riiiight this place probably doesn't have robots and if it did we all seem to be bloody equines." Tornado was slightly irritated partly because of his comrades forgetfulness and partly out of annoyance at losing his old form.
"So wait you're saying you guys aren't ponies?" Rainbow dash was getting slowly more confused
"Oh boy obligatory story time! tell us a story 'nado oh please oh please." Razer said, voice dripping with sarcasm.
"Hah hah hah," Tornado laughed dryly. "But I guess it is story time so grab a seat."
Razer groaned. "I didn't say I wanted a story."
"Well too bad cause here we go." Tornado began. "We're not of this world as you may have guessed. We are from a world called Earth but we weren't the main species. Those were humans. We were created by humans for the sole purpose of fighting. We were created with crushing blades, spinning discs, flipping arms and swinging axes among other things. We partook in an annual contest known as Robot Wars. Where hundreds of robots like us would enter to bash each other to smithereens! Each one of us was unique. In fact the mark on our flanks show what we used to look like conveniently enough. It was such a great contest we couldn't wait to show off our new upgrades or weapons!"
"Or cheating frames!" Razer interrupted.
"Shut up! Where was I? Oh right! The contest was governed by a group of nine horrible robots. Sergeant Bash, Cassius Chrome, Matilda, Shunt, Dead metal, Growler, Mr Psycho, The sentinel and...." Tornado paused and shuddered for a second. "Sir Killalot " All of the previously robots shuddered. Each of them had experience with the knight of pain and none of them wanted to remember it.
"So that about sums it up" Tornado said in an oddly cheerful manner
"That was....interesting" Rainbow reluctantly said
"Ohh what's this?"
"What about that?"
"Ohh shiny!"
"Hey look over there!"
"What is it?"
"Other people!"
"I think that'd be "other ponies"."
"Will you two SHUT UP!" Bigger Brother was unhappy to say the least. Of all the robots he ended up with it had to be Gemini.
"We're sorry big brother!" The two Gemini twins said in unison
"It's Bigger Brother! I am NOT your big brother!" Bigger Brother did not like the thought of putting up with these two day in day out.
Before Bigger Brother could continue the two Gemini twins had run off.
Cheerilee was taking her students on a field trip to Whitetail Woods. The trip was to tie in with the current topic of the class: Woodland life. "Now children if you look carefully you'll notice that each fallen twig is a miniature ecosystem here in the forest."
"Yuck! bugs are gross!" The ever grating voice of Diamond Tiara rung out as Silver Spoon nodded in agreement.
"Ah don't think they're that bad" Applebloom argued
"How would you know anything. Blank flank!" Was Diamond Tiara's reply.
The conversation was cut short however as Applebloom noticing two ponies charging towards the group. Diamond on the other hand didn't noticed and was subsequently knocked over by the two ponies.
"HEY! Watch where your going blank fla-" Silver spoon began to speak up for her friend but stopped when she noticed the ponies were not in fact, blank flanks.
The two ponies that stood there looked nearly identical. One was a filly the other a colt. They both had black coats with similarly black manes. Both of them had yellow eyes and they both wore identical red caps. The strangest thing however was their cutie marks not only were they really weird they were also identical.
"Hi!" Both ponies said in unison.
Scootaloo and Applebloom were both on the floor laughing at Diamond's misfortune. Sweetie Belle however was a tad more dignified due to her upbringing so she managed to greet the two ponies. "Hi there! I'm Sweetie Belle! Who are you two?" Sweetie Belle said delighted at the prospect of making new friends
"I'm Gemini!" The both said in unison.
"No I'm Gemini!" The two began to argue in perfect synch with one another.
"You're not Gemini, I'm Gemini!"
"You're Gemini? I'm Gemini!"
"We're both Gemini!" The two concluded their short lived argument.
"Oooookay then..." Scootaloo said catching the end of the argument.
Now was Applebloom's turn to speak up "So how did you two get your cutie marks?"
"Cutie marks? OH these things? we dunno we just had 'em. Besides they're nothing special anyway its just a picture of us." The Gemini twins stated
"But that looks nothing like y-" Scootaloo was cut off by a rather loud roar from within the woods
"Manticore!" Cheerilee yelled, guiding the children to safety.
Unfortunately the ponies could not all get to safety. Diamond Tiara was grabbed by the gray manticore as it leapt from the trees. The manticore seemed different from a normal one. its front legs seemed to be designed for gripping more than swiping and at the end of it's tail was not a stinger but a spinning circle with several "teeth" on it for cutting.
"DEAD METAL!" the Gemini twins began shaking the instant they recognised the old monster.
"Help! someone please!" Diamond Tiara screamed as the saw drew closer.
Luckily Bigger Brother had managed to catch up with the Gemini twins just in time. "Oh for god's sake! I lose sight of you for five minutes and you go and find Dead Metal!" Bigger Brother was more annoyed than afraid as he delivered a swift kick to Manticore Metal.
This caused Dead Metal to drop Diamond Tiara but not before the saw grazed her flank, Shaving off her cutie mark.
"RUN" Bigger Brother yelled as he began to engage Dead Metal in combat "AND DIG A PIT!"
Roboteers are you ready!?
"It's nice to finally relax!" Firestorm leant back in his chair.
"Yeah....for once Firestorm, I agree." Razer said as he finished his milkshake.
"A break from the fighting, the damage, the pressure. Ah life is good." Hypno-Disc added to the conversation.
The others didn't have much else to say so they just nodded.
"Hey Razer?" Firestorm began.
"Yes? Firestorm."
"Don't you think this seems too perfect?" Firestorm inadvertently jinxed them all.
"I'm gonna say this preemptively. You HAD to say it Firestorm didn't you?" Razer replied in a bitter tone
"HELP!" Two young-sounding voices spoke up.
"Told you so." Razer said as he got up. "Better check it out. I was getting bored anyway."
The Gemini twins were looking for someone to help them but it seemed the town was empty. Nobody or pony was on the streets. Apart from the group of School foals running from Dead Metal. Then, however hope arrived in the form of a sarcastic pony that was previously a robot. "RAZER!" The twins yelled
"Oh good god no!" Razer realized what he had walked into. Anyone but them. Please anyone I'll take Aggrobot or even Tornado just not Gemini! Razer mentally cursed himself. "Yes Gemini? What is it?" Razer said putting on the most forced smile ever, of all time.
"So we were in the woods with Bigger Brother and then there was these ponies who seemed nice but two of them were mean but 3 of them were really nice but then this lion scorpion thing shows up and is all like Rawr and it turns out he was Dead Metal and-" They were cut off.
"Bloomin 'ell use punctuation! or even a period or a comma JUST PAUSE!" Razer said as he developed a migraine.
"Wait did they say Dead metal?" Tornado had overheard the commotion and walked outside.
"Did they? I was too busy trying to comprehend the unending river of words being thrown at me!" Razer now had an irritated tone in his voice.
"Dead metal you say?" Pussycat stuck her head out the window of Sugarcube corner. "We'll need a pit of oblivion!"
"A what?" Rainbow said.
"A pit of a oblivion? you know a pit that things fall down. The oblivion thing is just cause smoke comes out when things fall down it." Diotoir smiled in such a way that would rival Pinkie.
"Well lets get digging. My saw blade could dig...oh yeah." Tornado said with a sombre look on his face.
"Wait a minute tornado! Unicorns have magic, it's a long shot but maybe your saw is still with you." Rainbow yelled to tornado.
"Hm. that might be a good idea!" Tornado focused on his old saw blade. The ripping, tearing powerful weapon he once wielded. In a flash of light a transparent construct resembling Tornado's circular saw formed around Tornado's horn. "Nice..." Tornado knelt down
"Now we need a smoke machine!" Cat yelled.
"NO TIME!" Bigger Brother ran over the horizon, chased by a massive gray manticore.
Dead metal roared as he chased bigger brother.
"OVER HERE!" Both of the Gemini twins yelled.
Bigger brother ran and leapt over the pit. Dead metal growled at them from the other side of the pit. Firestorm leapt over the pit and began to kick Dead metal "C'mon guys we need to push this oaf
The Gemini twins quickly leapt into assistance. Followed by Diotoir and finally Bigger Brother. "We seem to be having trouble...." Bigger Brother noted.
"Keep going you brutes!" Razer chuckled.
"We really appreciate your encouragement." Diotoir said, uncharacteristicly dryly.
"MOVE YER ARSES!" Wheely Big Cheese slammed into the manticore, pushing it into the pit.
"Does it know it can fl-"
"Shhhhhhh" Razer hushed Rainbow Dash.
"Dammit Cheese! we had a fool proof SMART plan of attack!" Dominator yelled.
"It worked didn't it?" Cheese replied
"He has a point..."
"Quiet Panic." Dominator said.
"Oh...you three are here. Joy." Razer stated with an annoyed tone.
"Glad to see you're still a miserable Arsehole Raz." Panic joked.
"NEVER. CALL. ME. RAZ. AGAIN." Razer shouted while glaring daggers at Panic Attack.
"Right..uh sorry." Panic almost pissed himself, remembering the damage Razer could do.
All of a sudden there was a loud fanfare followed by a stage folding out of a cart. The stage itself was highly decorated featuring many launchers for fireworks and other pyrotechnics. Stage lights were somehow folded into the cart as well.
"Please don't be who I think it is" Both Rainbow Dash and Hypno-Disc said in perfect unison eliciting a confused look at one another.
"Ponyville! Prepare for the greatest show."
"The best display of style and finesse."
"Ever witnessed by pony eyes!"
"Even neigh-sayers will be prompted to look twice at the spectacle of...."
"PLUNDERBIRD!"
"13 BLACK"
"AAAAAAND"
"THE GREAT"
"THE POWERFUL"
"TRRRRIXIE!"
Author's Note
Sorry for a slightly shorter chapter. Didn't have many ideas and wanted to save the part with Plunder, 13 and Trixie for the next chapter.
Roboteers are you ready!?
The Three ponies walked up onto the newly created stage. One was a green unicorn with a red and black mane. In the mane there were the numbers from 0 to 13 with 13 being the boldest number. His eyes were also red and black, the pupils looking like 2 of the 4 suits of cards, namely "spades" and "diamonds". His cutie mark was the robot 13 Black.
The pony on the right was a black unicorn with a similarly black mane interwoven with thin red stripes. His horn was in the shape of a weapon resembling Razer's. His face was proud and showed no signs of changing. His eyes were orange with a condescending look in them. On his flanks was the robot....Plunderbird 5.
And in the centre was the second most arrogant pony in Equestria. Trixie.
"Prepare for...." 13 began.
"A show of elegance" Plunderbird continued.
"From the greatest ponies in Equestria!" Trixie finished.
"Oh dear god no." Hypno-Disc Facehoofed.
"I take it that I'm missing some information here." Dash noted, observing the annoyed looks on the others' faces.
"Meet Plunderbird 5 and 13 Black. In order A show-off and a plagiarist." Razer said in an angered tone
"You there ponies! Prepare for the greatest sho-" Plunderbird Trailed off as he saw who was in the crowd.
"I can see your enthusiasm has left Plunderbird Speechle-" 13 Black stopped dead in his tracks when he saw Hypno-Disc.
"Well well well look who it is. The show-off and the plagiarist." Hypno spoke up.
"HEY!" Both Plunder and 13 yelled.
"He's right you know." Razer spoke up.
"Uh R-Razer hi d-didn't see you there." Plunderbird was beginning to realize he had made a terrible mistake.
"Hypno....no hard feelings right? right?" Black was also incredibly worried.
"Let me teach you a little lesson about flywheels, Black." Hypno jumped onto stage and began to create a construct resembling his flywheel.
"ThanksforthatlessonHypnogottarunbye!" 13 Black managed to slur all his words into one. Before he could run though he was hit with one of the teeth on Hypno-Disc's flywheel.
"The party is just starting. Stick around." Razer was now face to face with Plunderbird. "I think i have a few....points to make." Razer flared his fangs.
"Oh dear....13 we're in a whole heap of trouble aren't we?" Plunder said over his shoulder.
13 just gulped and nodded.
"Run?"
"RUN!"
Both 13 Black and Plunderbird fled from the stage. Leaving Trixie confused and both Hypno and Razer amused.
"Ah that was hilarious!" Hypno-Disc was on the brink of uncontrollable laughter.
"Yeah it was brilliant!" Razer laughed.
"Hey! Those were Trixie's co-stars who do you think you are!?" Trixie spoke up.
"I can see why they were your co-stars." Tornado spoke up from the crowd.
"And WHAT is that supposed to mean!?" Trixie retorted.
"Gee I wonder..." Firestorm chimed in.
"Well you....and Trixie will becuase you....GRRAHH!" Trixie packed up her stage and stormed off in the same way 13 Black and Plunderbird had ran.
"That was horrible you two!" Dash spoke up. Then she looked around to check that no one was hearing. "But it was hilarious!"
Then another cart pulled over in the exact same space, this one was pink and smaller and had cannons on top aswell as an oven in it. All was eerily silent for a few seconds then a sudden fanfare played. Confetti shot out of the oven and dough fired from the cannons covering the ponies in the miniature crowd.
"mmm cookie dough." Hypno noted licking some of the batter from his face.
Suddenly a very high pitched voice was heard. "Welcome welcome welcome....."
ONE SONG LATER
"That was......irritating." Razer commented.
"Awww c'mon guys! feel welcomed!" Pinkie said. No reply was given. "Hm tough crowd." Pinkie then zipped off again.
"You are but a pompous peasant good sir!"
"Peasant? Moi? I am a prince you heathen!"
"If thou art a prince I am a god!"
"Why I'd never! Thou art a waste of my precious time."
"Surely thou jests. You just cannot fight the fact that I am better than you."
"Well that is hardly true I think tha-hm? Guards! there you are arrest this man."
One by one a line of guards walked past.
"Quiet Blueblood."
"That's not a real crime Blueblood."
"Tia told us not to listen to you Blueblood."
"Luna says "shut up you twat" Blueblood."
Blueblood was speechless. "Guards! YOU ARE ALL FIRED!" Blueblood said as he ran back to the castle.
"YOU HAVE NO JURISDICTION UPON OUR JOBS BLUEBLOOD!" A guard yelled.
"Sorry about him sir" A guard said to the pony Blueblood was arguing with.
"Ah he is but a dimwitted twat he won't get under my skin." The pony replied. The pony had an alabaster white coat. His mane was so shiny that the sun reflected off of it. Upon his face was a regal moustache in the same colour as his mane. Adorning his flanks was a visage of the robot Sir Chromalot.
Sir Chromalot sent the guard on his way when he heard someone calling him over "You there! The pony who trounced Blueblood. Come over here! We would like to converse!" The pony said.
"You wish to speak to me?" Chromalot began.
"Yes. We found it quite hilarious that you had just royalty trounced the pompous prince." A white pony with a blue mane and moustache spoke up. "Fancy pants. Glad to meet you...." Fancy pants continued.
"Sir Chromalot! A gentleman and a pugilist."
"It's nice to meet you! Chromalot. This here is my wife Fleur De lis." Fleur bowed. "And this lovely mare is Lady Rarity."
"It's nice to meet someone else who hates Blueblood." Rarity spoke up.
"Indeed he seems like a right twat he does." Chromalot replied.
Both of them laughed. "Indeed he is." Rarity said as she wiped a tear from her eye.
"So rarity." Chromalot began as he took a seat. "You seem like a high class lady. Are you from here?"
"No actually. I'm from a quaint rural town called ponyville." Rarity said.
"Wow. I didn't expect that. You seem to be full of surprises lady Rarity." Chromalot replied.
Meanwhile in an alleyway in Canterlot a changeling awoke. One of his eyes were missing and his front hooves were sharpened to a point.....
Roboteers are you ready!?
A changeling woke up in a Canterlot back-alley. One of his eyes was missing and his front hooves were sharpened to a point. His remaining eye shone like a light. He wore heavily ornate armour with a crest on the helmet. This armour reflected enough light to blind a pony. There was one thing wrong however. This changeling couldn't change.
It's name was Cassius Chrome. The changeling decided that it was best to avoid other ponies considering his less thank beautiful looks. Sadly his plans would not follow through.
"Halt changeling! By the name of her royal highness you are under arrest." A guard spoke up from the end of the alleyway.
Cassius looked up. His shining eye almost blinding the guard. Cassius then leapt onto the guard and began pummelling him to death with his sharpened hooves.
"EEEEK! Changeling!" A noble pony shrieked as she dropped her purse and ran.
Today was not Chrome's day. He charged out of the alley way and into a nearby restaurant.
"YOU THERE! Who do you think you are!?" A regal voice spoke up.
Cassius turned around and grunted. Chromalot.... he thought.
"Cassius Chrome? is that you? I would say you've seen better days but tis not in a noble's heart to lie." Sir Chromalot chuckled.
Cassius Chrome charged.
"Okay Chromey. put em up."
"KEEP RUNNING MAGGOTS!" Bash yelled as he threw both Spitfire and Soarin into the academy detention centre.
"You'll never get away with this!" Spitfire spat at bash.
"DID I GIVE YOU PERMISSION TO SPEAK! DO YOU WANT TO END UP LIKE YOU FRIEND HERE?!" The Sergeant yelled gesturing to a heavily burnt, crying twitching Fleetfoot.
"NO? THEN SHUT YOUR FACES UNLESS I GIVE YOU PERMISSION!" Bash screamed as he walked away.
A grey griffon was flying high above the clouds. Her wings ended in sharp points and at the end of her tail was a sawblade like structure. Her claws were slightly longer and sharper than that of a normal griffon. Her face was par for the course aside from the constantly angry look on it but for griffons that's normal. She spotted what looked like a landing strip and decided that was enough flying for today.
"WHO ARE YOU MISSY!" Bash yelled at the newly landed griffon.
"Oh. Bash? is that you?" The griffon began in a strangely flirtatious tone. "I didn't expect you to be here but I guess you're all I got" The griffon continued, planting a kiss on the Sergeant's cheek.
"OH MAT-" Bash stopped to recompose himself. "Matilda......good to see you again."
"Glad to see you're a brutish as ever you twit." Matilda said, a tad more bitter.
"You're a real charmer Matilda." Bash said matter-of-factly
"Glad to see you've got to work so quickly. Killalot would be proud." Matilda noted the enslaved academy.
"Don't mention that ignorant brute!" Bash quickly replied.
"Still sour that he stole your leading role?" Matilda laughed
"Your a bitch Matilda."
"And you're a buffoon Bash."
"Cheese Cheese Cheese!" The Gemini twins yelled. Watching a fight between Wheely Big Cheese and Dominator
"waitCheesenonono!" Was all Dominator could say before he was launched several miles away by WBC .
"Twilight! I highly doubt that anypony could travel between dimensions like it says in your book."
"Now now Spike you really shouldn't be so dismissive...Do you hear that?"
"I think so Twilight, is it somepony screaming?"
"Indeed it is."
"TREEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Dominator smashed into the library and managed to get embedded in a bookshelf.
"Um...hello?" Twilight said with a mixture of shock and confusion at her new visitor.
"Hi. Could you help me a bit? I seem to be...stuck." Dominator said.
"Question.why?" Twilight said, now realizing the absurdity of a unicorn flying through her wall and into a bookcase.
"I fought someone who should not be fought." Dominator said, wriggling a bit and trying to get free. He was then enveloped in a lavender coloured aura and began to move. It was then that Dominator realized he was floating. Then he wasn't. A muffled "ow." could be heard from Dominator who was face first on the floor.
"So you were in a fight?" Twilight was getting more questions than answers. "Why we-" Before Twilight could finish she was interrupted by a knock at the door.
"Twilight! It's me Dash!" Rainbow's voice could be heard from the other side of the oak door.
"Not now Rainbow I have a visitor!" Twilight replied to the door.
"I know Twi that's why we're here."
"Wait what!?"
"You heard me Twi."
Twilight sighed and opened the door. She saw Rainbow dash which wasn't surprising. A bigger surprise though was what was behind her. A bat pony, seven earth ponies, three unicorns and a grey manticore being levitated by the unicorns.
Roboteers are you ready!?
Froggy bottom bog what a horrid place to be. The trees hung low and the mud bubbled. Even a hydra nest was rumoured to be hidden in deep in the bog. So naturally the only things that want to be there lived there. These three creatures did not live there though. One was running. Two were hunting.
The huntsman's hooves splashed through a puddle. He was trying to keep up with his faithful dog. Their prey was quick and would not give up easy. The huntsman liked things this way. It was always more fun when they ran. His coat was grey. His mane was too. His eyes were green. His strength immense. His weapon heavy. His mind slow.
The dog leaped from rock from rock. It's eyes locked on it's prey, nimbly it leaped narrowly missing it's target. It knew, it knew that this hunt was just beginning and it revelled in this fact. The prey might get away for a few seconds but a snapped twig or a cry of pain was all the dog needed to find him. It's flesh, metal a haphazardly shaped mishmash of parts to create to visage of a dog. Or wolf. It's eyes, red with blood-lust. It's mind, cold and calculating.
The prey was flustered. She was an outsider, not of this world. She was not ready for this, she hadn't even had time to adjust to her new body or surroundings. Here she was though, lost, panicked and hunted. Counting down the seconds until that metal beast was upon her. Her coat black. Her mane grey. Her eyes red. Her mind flustered. no. This wouldn't be her end I refuse! She wouldn't let her life end here because she was no ordinary mare. She was Chaos. She raised he back legs and kicked out.
The dog wasn't prepared for this. It's jaws crumpled with the force of the kick. It's view changed. From a helpless mare, to the sky and finally the bog. The dog was down but not out. It's claws quickly found solid ground. This hunt wasn't over not until she dies. The dog leapt from the bog, poised and ready to fight again.
The huntsman had just caught up. His face contorted in anger. His rage built. His best friend had just been attacked by this pathetic creature. It was time to intervene. His neck turned as he reached for his weapon. With little to no effort the huntsman lifted his hammer. His prey would not escape.
Cassius chrome was being handcuffed and escorted to a heavily ornate carriage. Even prison transports are ornate in Canterlot, the city of royals. Sir Chromalot leant back in his chair and finished his tea. "Still as pathetic as ever." He mused aloud.
"You're just a regular knight in shining armour aren't you?" Rarity said, observing the scene of carnage left by the Two Chrome's fight.
"Too much praise can go to one's head lady Rarity. That does not mean I do not appreciate it though" Chromalot chuckled, Observing the futile escape attempts of Cassius as he was carried away. Then one of the guards approached them.
"Excuse me sir. But the guard has sent me to provide a formal invitation to join the royal guard. You have shown great combat prowess and we think you should put it to use." Without another word the guard put a crested envelope on the table and walked away.
"Hm. A royal guard? me? Might be a good job opportunity. What do you think lady rarity?" Chromalot allowed his thoughts to be let out into the open.
"Well I think it's a great opportunity and you should take it. I must ask though what is your current job?" Rarity replied.
"Current job? non-existent!" Chromalot cheerfully said.
"But how are you so regal? You look to be, at the very least a banker!" Rarity was slightly shocked, how could Chromalot not have a job.
"Then it's settled! To the royal guard I go!" Chromalot opened envelope and conveniently contained inside was a map of canterlot with guard barracks highlighted.
"And that's about all you need to know." Tornado finished his exposition spewing for the day.
"And I thought that story sucked the first time you told it Tornado...." Razer chimed in, much to the others' annoyance.
"Razer must you be so bitter?" Dominator spoke up.
"No. But why stop now?" Razer laughed.
Dominator sighed.
"This is amazing! Inter-dimensional travel is possible I must notify the princess immediately!" Twilight exclaimed ignoring all sense of cliché.
Spike grabbed a quill and parchment.
Dear princess Celestia.
I have made an amazing discovery! Inter-dimensional travel has finally been proven. Earlier today several ponies turned up at my doorstep. Turns out they are from another dimension on a planet parallel to ours. The fact that such a thing has happened will create huge strides in the field of magic. Think of the possibilities! In addition to this. Upon entering our dimension these beings have assumed the form of ponies. Their cutie marks seem to represent what they looked like before this transformation. I will send another letter when I learn more
Your faithful student
"Does she always do this?" Razer whispered to Rainbow
"Pretty much." Dash whispered back.
"I have so many questions to ask you!" Twilight said with a slight sparkle in her eye.
"But I told you everything..." Tornado said.
"I'm sure there are some things you missed." Twilight excitedly said.
"Well...I think I forgot abo-" Tornado began
"NO NO NO NO NO! I am not sitting here for another exposition dump! I'm going for a walk. Bring me back here at....half past never!" Razer yelled as he walked out. There Razer was. Finally free from his group of "friends". Now all that was left for him was to get free of this town.
"Well Bashy. I do believe it is time for me to go. Have fun being a psychotic sergeant!" Matilda said as she flew off to cause some mayhem.
"Thought she'd never leave... OI! WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT RECRUITS GET BACK TO WORK!" Bash screamed as he was once more his former self.
After several minutes of flying Matilda spotted a quaint looking little village. Time for some fun. Matilda thought.
Roboteers are you ready!?
Matilda landed in front of one of the most ornate buildings in the town. Everything about this place was sickeningly happy, every living thing seemed to smile, the colours were so overly vibrant and the architecture. Gingerbread houses? this place sickens me. Was Matlida's initial thought and would most likely make up all her following thoughts. Strangely, the streets were deserted save for one pony.
Razer was feeling fantastic. For the first time since he got here he was happy, none of his "friends" were there to nag him about smiling or being nice. Life was good. Razer began to whistle a happy tune, he knew he wouldn't be caught dead whistling but he felt like making the exception. Perhaps this place was rubbing off on him. nah. Razer dismissed the thought.
Matilda turned towards the lone pony and put on her best bedroom eyes. "Well well well....What's a strong stallion like you doing all alone?" Matilda's tone becoming once more flirtatious.
Razer looked up and noticed the griffon eyeing him up. "Oh...you know....things" Razer's voice taking a quiet dismissive tone.
Matilda moved over to Razer. "Now now...we can't have someone like you being all alone now can we?" Matilda's tail moved into a position ready to attack.
"It's fine really ma'am I just need some time alone." Razer attempted to push Matilda away.
"No its not fine.." Matilda's eyes looked over every inch of the stallion's body. "Just look at you. You shouldn't be Alo-YOU " Matilda noticed the mark on the stallion's flank.
Razer noticed how the griffon quickly backed away. "I look familiar to you?" Razer was a slight bit confused.
Matilda hissed. "I'd say we're quite well acquainted Razer!"
Razer put a hoof to his chin. "Hm......OH! Matilda? Is it you? Cause if it is it's time to leave." Razer cracked his neck.
Matilda laughed. "You think you can tell me what to do? By all means try and by all means fail." Matilda flew towards Razer, claws at the ready.
Razer flapped his wings and took to the sky. "Bring it Matilda!" Razer closed his wings and dive bombed towards Matilda.
Matilda brought her tail up in an attempt to slice the foolish stallion in half.
Razer knew better. With a few course corrections made and with nary a second to spare he managed to catch his fang on Matilda's tail, severing it.
Matilda screamed in pain, but she managed to hold her ground. Only one would leave here, even if it was Razer.
"Give up you stubborn mule?" Razer retorted with a chuckle.
"Mule!? You'll pay for that remark!" Matilda readied her claws and pounced.
Before Matilda could tear the egotistical bat pony apart there was a bright flash and Matilda was gone. Leaving Razer extremely confused. Matilda, wherever she was wasn't any more clued in than Razer though.
"You Idiotic Griffon! You nearly compromised my entire scheme by nearly getting yourself killed!" A Large pony cloaked by the shadows yelled.
"W-who are you?" Matilda said, all of her confidence and bravado having drained from her voice in an instant.
"You should know."
Chaos ran. She ran for what seemed like an eternity. After managing to disarm the huntsman she managed to get away into some of the more densely wooded area. Chaos had to be careful though if she made one sound she was dead. Eventually She came to a cave that seemed empty. The perfect hiding spot. Inside the cave was wet and fresh water dripped from the ceiling. The cave opened up past the initial entryway. The problem was that the cave wasn't empty. A massive grey dragon lay in the centre of the cave. Spikes ran across it's back from head to tail. It's claws were like those of a raptor. The dragon's eye shot open. The eye was pale with no colour not even a pupil. The dragon wasn't blind though it saw chaos and one word went through it's mind Kill That was it's goal and it would carry it out.
The Sentinel had awoken.
"I've told you everything and more! What else could you need to know!?" Tornado snapped in a tone similar to that of Razer's
"But are you 100%, without a doubt, no lies, your final answer that you don-" Twilight began
"For the one hundred and fiftieth time I don't know how we got here" Tornado was growing annoyed at the unicorn's constant questions.
"Alright alright....but are you sure?"
"AHHHHHHHHHHH! " Tornado screamed in frustration.
"Did I miss Tornado in pain?" Razer said walking into the library.
"Oh Razer how nice of you to rejoin us." Dominator said from the corner of the room.
"Anything fun happen while you were out? Huh? Huh?" The Gemini twins yelled in ever tiring unison.
"Well Matilda attacked."
Everyone of the ex-robots gasped.
"But then she disappeared in a flash of light."
Then they all sighed.
"Wait!" Twilight spoke up. "Disappeared in a flash of light? Quite a few ponies have been reported missing and vanishing in a similar fashion as of recent.
"How recent?" Firestorm butted into the conversation.
"As recent as a few days ago, there were news stories about missing ponies and mysterious noises under the sea. I personally think that the two are connec-" There was a bright light and Twilight was nowhere to be seen.
The crowd cheered, not of choice but because they were forced to. If not they would be next in the ring. "Ladies and gentle-colts please welcome your host....The knight of carnage himself!"
A large shadowy figure walked onto a balcony overlooking an arena. "Tonight! my lovely audience. Here where the destruction never stops we have quite the match for you tonight. A newly crowned princess and a new combatant to the arena. Vs an esteemed representative of the griffon kingdom and current fan favourite GILDA! Now let the Mayhem begin..." The figure bowed and walked back into the shadows.
