Chapters Peter Trotter: Friendly Neighbourhood Spider-Pony
Holidays
PAGE 1
PANEL 1: SPIDER-PONY and FEROCIOUS FLATTOP are tied to a frankly obscene number of fireworks. Next to them THE GOAT GOBLIN breathes green fire to light the fuse.
CAPTION:
New Year’s Eve
FLAT TOP:
I knew this would be the night you’d try and finish me off, you MENACE!!!
SPIDEY:
Hush up and gimme a minute to figure out how we’re getting out of here, will ya Pickle Puss?
SFX:
FIVE! FOUR! THREE!
PANEL 2: A startled Spidey, spider-sense a’buzzing, half turns at the glow from a nuzzling SPELLECTRO and ponyfied LIVEWIRE.
CAPTION:
Hearts and Hooves Day
LIVEWIRE:
Oh you’re -my- Special Somepony too, sparky-warky! Let’s celibate by frying the insect from the inside out!
SPELLECTRO:
Whatever you say, my little Edison Effect!
SPIDEY:
Wait, what?
PANEL 3: THE KANGAROO strolls down the street dressed in a tuxedo with a four leaf clover pinned to the lapel. Behind him Spidey, his suit in tatters, has somehow become stuck in his own webbing. Behind him is a widening void of un-existence eating away at the skies of Manehattan, which he’s staring at in horror.
CAPTION:
St. Patrick’s Day
KANGAROO:
Too bad for you, webslinger! Ever since I found this four leaf clover, the Kangaroo’s been nopony’s chump! Who’s got all the luck now?
SPIDEY:
Too bad if it doesn’t stop altering the laws of probability soon, the universe’s runs out!
PANEL 4: THE THING towers over a chibi style Spidey and HORSESHOE TORCH, who point at each other.
CAPTION:
April Foals Day
SPIDEY/TORCH:
Hedidit.
PAGE 2
PANEL 1: Takes place from the rear. Spidey swinging off in the distance. A fresh bouquet has been left at a grave. Guess who's.
CAPTION:
Father’s day
PANEL 2: A translucent, Casper tailed Spidey stares at his hooves. A bubbling formula lies on a desk in front of him, whilebehind him monstrous (or as monstrous as pony shadows can get) snarl at the window.
CAPTION:
Nightmare Night
SPIDEY:
The cure to the Monster Microbe is nearly complete!
SPIDEY:
But how can I admister it as a mere GHOST-PONY?!
PANEL 3: Spidey and POISON PONY swing for their lives through the snow, perused by a rocket launching ROBOT SANTA HOOVES.
CAPTION:
Hearths Warming
SANTA:
ALL THREE OF YOU ARE ON THE NAUGHTY LIST!
POISON:
wE bLaMe YoU fOr ThIs.
SPIDEY: You would .
PANEL 3: Spidey and THE DOCTOR rocket through the night sky, tied to a giant firework. Spidey's ears droop in depression.
CAPTION:
New Year’s Eve
DOCTOR:
Have we been here before? I feel like we’ve been here before.
END
Peter Trotter: Friendly Neighbourhood Spider-Pony
PAGE 1
PANEL 1: Establishing shot of Manehatten by night, a quiet neighborhood with a little jewelery store.
PANEL 2: Store interior. All is dark save for a tiny stream of light coming from the slightly ajar backroom door.
PANEL 3: Inside the backroom, the DIAMOND DOGS are grouped around a safe, working by candle light. FIDO and ROVER, holding the candle, leer with anticipation as SPOT presses an ear to the door and works the tumbler. Maybe sticks a tongue out.
PANEL 4: A chilling voice booms from nowhere. Fido and Rover hug each other in terror, squishing poor Spot in the middle and almost choking him.
SFX:
I AM THE TERROR
SFX:
THAT FLAPS IN THE NIGHT!
PANEL 5: Rover holds the candle up to get a better look at their uninvited guest, the light casting a bat like shadow on the wall. Spot pokes his head out and joins his comrades in surprised "wat" squinting.
SFX:
I AM THE GAS
SFX:
THAT YOU DARE NOT PASS!
SFX:
I
SFX:
AM...
PAGE 2
PANEL 1: Dominates most of the page. SPIDER-PONY hangs upside down...dressed in a familiar looking cape and cowl. The title of our story is printed, Eisner style, on the somehow upright bat silhouette he is casting.
SPIDEY:
Bat-Pony.
Title:
THE SPECTACULAR SPIDER-PONY
IN:
KNIGHTMARE NIGHT
PANEL 2: Smaller panel, maybe contained in the silhouette as well. Spidey lounges on top of a street light in "IDGF" pose. The Dogs are hung underneath in a web sack. A desperate Rover leans out to grip the lapels of a Cop Pony.
ROVER:
He just keeps saying that.
ROVER:
Mercy! Jail! Now! PLEASE!!!
PAGE 3
PANEL 1: Some party. Spidey swishes his cape around himself dramatically in front of a crowd of confused guests. In the background GEM rolls her eyes while MJ cracks up.
SPIDEY:
I'm Batpony.
PANEL 2: The Manehattan city scape. Spidey webswings on his way to somewhere, bat cape billowing in the wind.
SPIDEY:
I'm Batpony.
PANEL 3: A construction site. Spidey swings his cape like a matador with a charging bull, except in this case the bull is the electrolyzed supervillain SPELLECTRO, whose face falls as he realises his charge is going to send him tumbling into a pit of quick drying cement.
SPIDEY:
I'm Batpony.
PANEL 4: Spidey pokes his head through pony FLATTOP'S window, startling the guy out of his chair.
SPIDEY:
I'm Batpony.
PAGE 4
PANEL 1: The TARDIS sits in an alleyway, DOCTOR WHOOVES shutting the lid on a trash can with a limp tentacle poking out. He looks bemused as Spidey hangs upside down in front of him.
SPIDEY:
I'm Batpony.
DOCTOR:
Which one?
PANEL 2: Spiey poses dramatically on top of a statue resembling GOLIATH.
SPIDEY:
I'm--
PANEL 3: Same shot. He's startled out of it by:
OFF PANEL:
Spider.
PANEL 4: BLACK CALF lounges on a chimney behind Spidey, smirking. He sweeps up to her. She idly strokes a black cat that's decided to join them.
BLACK CALF:
What are you doing?
SPIDEY:
I'm Batpony.
BLACK CALF:
That right?
PANEL 5: Something startles the cat and it takes off. Both ponies look up as a bat like shadow is cast over them like all the way back on page 1.
PAGE 5
PANEL 1: BATPONY stands on the opposite rooftop, looking down at the scene. She does not look happy. There's a lightning flash, even.
PANEL 2: Spidey and Calf stare up. Spidey's eyes are huge while Calf bites her lower lip. Uh oh.
SPIDEY:
I'm dead.
PANEL 3: Same shot. Spidey gives one last hurrah and facetiously leans over to Calf for a conspiratorially whisper.She stares at him as if to ask if he's for real. A Batarang soars towards our hero's head.
SPIDEY:
And also Batpony.
PANEL 4: Spidey gallops for his life, trailing stars from a bump on the noggin and pursued by a Batarang hurling Batpony. Their chase takes them past a gaint rooftop billboard which reads: UNTIL NEXT TIME, FOLKS!
Peter Trotter: Friendly Neighbourhood Spider-Pony
FADE IN
INT.MANEHATTAN MUSEUM-NIGHT
The place is closed for the night, shrouded in darkness. Pan across the various exhibits until with a sudden FLASH-
INT.FLASHBACK MUSEUM-EIGHT OR SO YEARS AGO-DAY
-we're suddenly in a warped (Saturday Morning appropriate) nightmare version of the museum. Same layout but spiky Greco-Romanesque decor. The pony PAST MASTER takes aim with his pocket watch and strikes a demonic looking gong with a bolt of light. The museum patrons flee as the gong's reverberations open a portal, out of which tramps an army of ancient knights.
PAST MASTER:
First this city, then this entire timeline! Nothing can stop-
There's an off-screen ruckus accompanied with the familiar sound of firing webs. Past Master is forced to duck as various pieces of his army hurtle towards him.
PAST MASTER:
Nothing can stop-
(ducks a boot)
Nothing can-
(ducks a shoulder pad)
Nothing-
He gets smacked by a helmet.
PAST MASTER:
STOP THAT!
SPIDEY:(O.S)
You first!
A glob of webbing covers Past Master's mouth. Whip from his indignant mumbling and struggling to the victor standing over his defeated army:TEEN SPIDER-PONY. His costume is clearly an early model: no web pattern on anything but his mask and he's sporting those dorky underarm web wings.
TEEN SPIDEY:
By the way, Mulesterio called.
(Kicks a helmet away)
He wants his everything back.
THE DOCTOR:(O.S)
Excuse me, pardon me, coming through...
Teen Spidey and Past Master turn to see THE PAST DOCTOR (3RD INCARNATION-ISH, pleasant enough demeanour, Pegasus, wearing a scarf) float over the last of the fleeing patrons.
TEEN SPIDEY/PAST MASTER:
You again?!/(Same, muffled)
PAST DOCTOR:
(To Spidey)Hello again!
(To Past Master)
Right, now that's just about enough of this I think...
TEEN SPIDEY:
Couldn't agree more!
Teen Spidey leaps over and leans into the Doctor's bemused face, all petulant attitude...despite being a foot shorter than the older Time Lord. Both heroes fail to notice Past Master taking aim at the gong with his watch.
TEEN SPIDEY:
Listen buddy, you've been getting in the way of catching this guy all afternoon. I told you: leave this to a professional!
PAST DOCTOR:
Perhaps you'd be so kind as to escort me to one then.
TEEN SPIDEY:
That some kinda crack?!
PAST DOCTOR:
It's funny you should mention cracks actually, because if your professional doesn't have any experience with fracturing reality the current danger could very well-
TEEN SPIDEY:
(Scoffs)
Danger? What, the Gas Pastor or whatever back there? Smoke, mirrors and animatronics!
PAST DOCTOR:
Hardlight, actually.
There's the sound of the gong and Spidey is snatched up by a massive reptilian skeleton. The Past Master finally yanks the webbing off, rubbing the red ring it leaves around his jaw.
PAST MASTER:
As I was saying...NOTHING CAN STOP THE PAST MASTER!
PAST DOCTOR:
Oh now really, that's too kind! You flatter me!
Past Master can only blink at this. As Teen Spidey struggles in the jaws of death the Past Doctor pulls his infamous SONIC SCREW DRIVER out of his scarf with his mouth, takes aim, and vibrates the skeletal beast apart. Teen Spidey thuds to the floor.
TEEN SPIDEY:
Wait, this...this is real?!
PAST DOCTOR:
Very. Oop!
(Ducks a bolt)
Step lively, there's a good lad!
The Doctor bowls Teen Spidey and himself behind some cover. Spidey can only watch, stunned, as the Doctor and the Past Master fire their respective weapons at each other, the beams evenly matched. Both take a quick break, the Doctor whipping back behind cover to tinker with the screwdriver.
TEEN SPIDEY:
So...so he really IS some kind of super villain from thousands of years ago?! He's really trying to take over today with the past?!
PAST DOCTOR:
Yes, although he may want to stop that before summoning this much mass from different times causes space to...
With a roar the floor beneath the combatants gives out, opening up a roaring hole into a nightmarish non-world.
PAST DOCTOR:
Oh dear! Right, right, the important thing is not to panic. He's using that watch to break everything, so logically to fix everything we just need to use it to-
A screaming Past Master interrupts, charging and firing. The heroes bolt apart, Past Doctor returning screwdriver fire, Teen Spidey firing webbing. The webbing sticks Past Master's feet to the floor, sending him tumbling and throwing his watch into the air...where it's struck by the screwdriver beam, knocking the hands off. Everybody just stares at this for a second.
PAST DOCTOR:
Oh dear...
He starts towards him, but the floor between them is swallowed up by the expanding portal and he tumbles in. The fights the black hole like suction with his wings, but is slowly dragged down...until a webline slaps into his back. Teen Spidey, still freaking out, nevertheless manages to yank the Doctor to safety.
PAST DOCTOR:
Thank you! One would almost think you'd done this before.
TEEN SPIDEY:
I'm a friendly neighborhood hero! I don't do
(gestures at the chaos)
...THIS! I don't even know what this is !
PAST DOCTOR:
After you've been at it long enough? A science.
TEEN SPIDEY:
Science...
Spidey looks from the portal to the gong. He snags it with a webline, grabs the Doctor's screw driver with his tail and leaps into the hole in the floor.
PAST DOCTOR:
Right then. I'll just bandy about a bit up here. See if I can't amuse myself.
PAST MASTER:
Witless abecedarian! What hope have you against the arcane might of the PAST MAS-
The Doctor socks him right between the eyes.
INT. FLASHBACK-THE VOID
Freefalling Teen Spidey spins a web large enough to hold himself and the gong from falling all the way in. He cocks the screwdriver and zaps out a tune: The Spider-Man theme song. Nothing.
INT.FLASHBACK-MUSEUM-DAY
A screaming Past Master charges the Past Doctor...who calmly pony judo flips him.
INT. FLASHBACK-THE VOID
Teen Spidey tries another frequency: The Doctor Who theme song. Still nothing!
INT. FLASHBACK-MUSEUM-DAY
The Doctor holds back the Past Master with a single hoof to the head. Past Master can only flail angrily.
INT. FLASHBACK-THE VOID
Teen Spidey watches as more tares begin to open up and goes for broke: the My Little Pony theme song. With a rumble the void begins to shrink, collapsing in on the shaking gong!
INT. FLASHBACK-MUSEUM-DAY
Past Master is knocked backwards, stands on the edge of the portal flailing for a few seconds before tumbling in.
Teen Spidey is thrown into the air, still clutching the screwdriver and is almost swallowed up by the closing portal...before the a scarf whips around his mid-section, allowing the flying Doctor, the scarf held between his teeth, to yank him out seconds before the portal slams shut.
Spidey stares around wildly as the room returns to a regular museum. He looks up to see the Doctor throwing his scarf around his neck, retrieve his screwdriver and begin to leave.
TEEN SPIDEY(O.S):
Wait!
He hangs upside down in front of the Doctor, curious but not aggressive.
TEEN SPIDEY:
Who ARE you...?
The Past Doctor smiles.
CURRENT DOCTOR:(V.O)
Yes, yes, you don't have to tell me all that...
And we flash cut to-
INT. MUSEUM LECTURE THEATER-NIGHT
-the present, the CURRENT DOCTOR'S face replacing his former self's.
DOCTOR:
I was there.
The shot widens to reveal the Doctor is tied to a front row seat in the museum's lecture theatre. On stage the Past Master steps out of the shadows, a resembled watch hanging around his neck.
PAST MASTER:
Oh, my sincerest apologies. I was merely making absolutely certain I was not exacting vengeance upon the wrong time traveller FOR TRAPPING ME IN THE UN-LIFE THAT DOES NOT EXIST BETWEEN THE SECONDS.
SPIDER-PONY:(O.S)
Oh boo hoo...
One of the theater's spotlights slams on suddenly, blinding the startled PAST MASTER with the Spider-Signal. Pan up to the lights, SPIDER-PONY (modern version)perched on the spotlight projecting the signal somehow.
SPIDEY:
...like anypony's on overtime here.
Past Master snarls and fires the watch, turning the entire rig Spidey's standing on to dust. Spidey manages to flip into a smooth landing and looks over his shoulder at the Doctor.
SPIDEY:
Could he do that before?
DOCTOR:
Define 'before'.
Spidey's spider-sense goes off, forcing him to dodge another blast. He leaps out of the theater to get more room to maneuver. He flips from the heads of several statues, including one of PRINCE BLUEBLOOD, all of which are disintegrated by the watch. The disappearance of that last one sends him sprawling to the floor...where he's zapped, wiped from existence.
DOCTOR:
Awful shame, that.
PAST MASTER:
Indeed it is! For it was your past self's foolish attempt to hide my watch by reassembling and donating it to this museum a decade before my defeat here-
DOCTOR:
Actually, I meant you might have gotten us if not for the fact I put them on backwards.
PAST MASTER:
(Staring at his watch because how does that even work?)
I beg you're pardon?
DOCTOR:
The hands. On your watch. Put them on backwards. Can't remember if I did it on purpose or not, but you're really boring and this should be interesting so it was probably on purpose.
There's an ominous rumbling. The various dematerialized objects re-materialize, only the Blueblood statue showing any change: it' missing it's suit and is attempting to preserve it's modesty with it's bow tie.
SYMBIOTIC SPIDEY pops back into existence. His head slowly rises to meet Past Master's gaze before letting out an unnatural hiss and mutating into the hulking POISON PONY!
PAST MASTER:
No, no, NO!
He levels the watch at the charging Poison Pony, firing off a blast which only turns him into-
PAST MASTER:
WHY
-SCARLET SPIDEY , and again, turning him into-
PAST MASTER:
WON'T
-AMAZING REBOOT SPIDEY , and again, turning him into-
PAST MASTER:
YOU
-ULTIMATE ZEBRA SPIDEY , who's almost on top of Past Master now...
PAST MASTER:
STOP?!
There's a thunderclap and the watch goes flying. It strikes the ground next to a pile of purple cape surrounded by orange dust, shattering. A coughing but normal Spidey struggles free of the purple robes. The Doctor, free somehow, casually walks up and helps dust him off.
DOCTOR:
Ah, you're back!
SPIDEY:
I was gone?
DOCTOR:
I'll explain later.
SPIDEY:
You always say that.
DOCTOR:
Oh, I do not.
SPIDEY:
You never do.
DOCTOR:
Do too!
The two bickering friends exit, leaving the demolished watch behind. A blue hoof stamps down and a strange glow surrounds the parts, reassembling them. The hands revolve and insert themselves correctly before the finished watch is snatched up by the hoof. Pan up to reveal the smiling face of the sinister MASTERPIECE.
MASTERPIECE:
Well hello, beautiful.
FLASH CUT TO:
EXT.CLOUDSDALE-YEAR 2099-NIGHT.
The Pegasus citizens flee as a giant NIGHTMARE MOON MECHA drifts over the futuristic towers balanced on the clouds. Close up of the Past Master's watch balanced on the tip of it's horn, which starts zapping in various pony dinosaur menaces.
A shadowy figure web swings from cloud to cloud before perching on one, a spotlight below illuminating SPIDER-PEGASUS 2099 (Less Rainbow Dash, more Daring Doo but that kind of basic body type in a 2099 costume ) who spreads her wing and power dives towards the threat...or at least attempts to before a flash of brown snatches her up by the tail an drags her higher. 2099 spins around to come face to face with THE NEW DOCTOR: a buoyant female Pegasus voiced by Amy Acker.
NEW DOCTOR:
Steady there, m'dear! Need to have a bit of a pow wow on the current brouhaha before we make with the pow pow, what?
2099:
And just who the shock're YOU supposed to be?
The New Doctor looks at the camera and winks.
FADE OUT
END
Peter Trotter: Friendly Neighbourhood Spider-Pony
PAGE 1
PANEL 1: The Manehattan cityscape at sunset.
SPIDEY:
(Thought bubble, off panel)
Five cart jackings, three jewel heists and one birth.
PANEL 2: Same shot. SPIDER-PONY lands on a roof top, his mask grim with determination.
SPIDEY:
(Thought bubble)
Gotta love these lazy Saturdays.
SPIDEY: (Thought bubble 2)
Have to stay focused. Hope I’m not too late.
PANEL 3: SPIDEY ricochets through a series of after images from assorted rooftop accoutrements to land perched on some sort of sign.
SPIDEY: (Thought bubble)
That I haven’t become distracted from The Mission. Because it’s all been leading up...
PANEL 4: Some sort of stylized pizza logo.
SPIDEY:
(Thought bubble, off panel)
To this .
PAGE 2
PANEL 1: A puzzled DELIVERY PONY steps out into an alley through a back door, carrying a large pizza box. The logo from the previous panel is on the box and his apron. A presumably delicious smell trail wafts from the warm box.
PANEL 2: The Delivery Boy checks the alley. It’s just him and few pigeons pecking at the trash. If possible the lower tip of the sign Spidey perched on in page 1 could maybe be sticking into shot for continuity’s sake.
DELIVERY BOY:
I don’t get it.
PANEL 3: Delivery Boy scratches his head as Spidey dangles upside down behind him.
DELIVERY BOY:
Why would somepony wanna pick up a large pan Tofu Lovers out back? What’s the rush?
SPIDEY:
Well, I did skip lunch.
PANEL 4: Same shot. Delivery Boy whips around to see Spidey.
PANEL 5: Same shot. Delivery Boy's eyes start to roll back, little bubbles orbiting and popping around his head. Spidey starts patting his costume.
SPIDEY:
Hang on, got a coupon here somewhere...
PAGE 3
PANEL 1: Same shot. Delivery Boy passes out. Spidey sticks a hoof to the pizza box to stop it falling and looks wearily at the camera.
SFX:
WUMP
PANEL 2: Close up of the passed out Delivery Boy’s face, his hat overturned a few inches from his head. Spidey's costumed hoof tosses some money and the aforementioned coupon into it. One of the pigeons looks on curiously.
SPIDEY:(Off panel)
You’d really think they’d be used to this sort of thing by now.
PIGEON SFX:
Coo?
PANEL 3: Spidey afterimage flips his way back up the sign, carrying the box with his tail. The Pigeon flies up after him.
SPIDEY:
I mean, this is Manehattan.
PANEL 4: Spidey's acrobatics take him across the roof to a chimney, using his tail to gingery balance the box on it’s edge. Spidey's looking over his shoulder to talk to the Pigeon.
SPIDEY:
And personally? Not to be mean, but my outfit looks better.
PANEL 5: Spidey flips open the lid of the box, lifts out of slice of pizza and takes a big wiff
of the scent trail. The Pigeon flutters down onto the chimney beside it.
PIGEON SFX:
Coo!
SPIDEY:
True, self service does have it’s benefits! Means you don’t have to share.
PaAGE 4
PANEL 1: Spidey pushes the slice along the chimney to the Pigeon. It tilts it’s head, surprised.
SPIDEY:
Which doesn't mean I won’t!
PIGEON SFX:
Coo?
PANEL 2: Spidey pulls out another slice for himself. The Pigeon spots something off panel and looks alarmed.
SPIDEY:
Oh c’mon little guy, dig in! It’s not..
PANEL 3: Spidey frowns and turns around as his spider-sense goes off. The startled Pigeon jumps back. A large shadow falls over them.
SPIDEY:
-dangerous...
PIGEON SFX:
Coo! Coo!
SFX:
...zzzZZ
PANEL 4: Something immense passes over our two heroes. The Pigeon flaps about in a panic, Spidey lowers his head, squinting and shielding his face with a foreleg from the winds kicked up by a pair of giant insectile wings. The pizza box is thrown into the air from the force.
SFX:
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZRRGHHH
PAGE 5
PANEL 1: Close up of Ponyfied KILLER MOTH riding on top of something we can't see because of the size of the panel and also this being a close up. It's hairy whatever it is.
KILLER MOTH:
PREPARE YOURSELF, MANEHATTAN! JUST DESSERTS HAVE ARRIVED! COURTESY OF KILLER MOTH!
PANEL 2: Back on the roof. The Pigeon settles down as Spidey dusts himself off.
SPIDEY:
He's speechifying. Probably going to be a bunch of food puns. Who speechifyes anymore?
PANEL 3: Same shot. Spidey and Pigeon look at something off panel. Spidey's ears droop in disappointment.
SPIDEY:
Awww.
PANEL 4: Spidey trots over to the remains of the mushed pizza box. It's a stretch of cheese and toppings stuck to cardboard, not one slice fit for pony consumption.
PANEL 5: The scraped together remains are pushed over to the Pigeon.
PIGEON SFX:
Coo?
SPIDEY:
Here ya go, buddy. Have a ball.
PANEL 6: An annoyed Spidey swings off.
SPIDEY:
Just think of it as dinner and a show.
PAGE 6
PANEL 1: Killer Moth, his back to the panel, continues to rant at the cityscape.
MOTH:
I will have revenge, Manehattan! Delicious revenge!
PANEL 2: Same shot. A web ball bonks Moth on the head.
SPIDEY:
(Off panel)
Okay, now you're just being a jerk about it!
PANEL 3: Moth whirls around to see Spidey swing by.
SPIDEY:
I'm not sure what's worse, your outfit or...whatever the heck it is you're riding!
MOTH:
You dare?! You shall be the first then, an appetizer! A fitting sign to all who mocked my genetic genius, destined to be consumedby my vengeance! And vengeance is a dish best served cold!
SPIDEY:
Stop it.
PANEL 4: Close up of Moth's ranting face, twin images of Spidey landing on another roof reflected in his goggles.
MOTH:
The university, the city, they said I'd never do it! They said I was all stake, no sizzle! But I'm seriously cooking with gas now!
SPIDEY:
(We don't even eat stake.)
MOTH:
I'm going to show them that Killer Moth is on top of the food chain! With a little help-
PANEL 5: Biggest panel on the page. The ponies are of course show from far away and tiny to emphases scale here. Spidey turns to face THE GIANT MUTANT HALF FLY HALF HORSE THING that Moth is riding.
MOTH:
-from MY GIANT HORSE-FLY!
PAGE 7
PANEL 1: SPIDEY recoils.
SPIDEY:
That is WRONG!
SPIDEY:
I mean look at it!
PANEL 2: Moth continues to grandstand. The Horse-Fly just continues being monstrous.
MOTH:
It shall feast upon this benighted city as though it were the finest Valhallan feast!
PANEL 3: Back to Spidey. He's squinting at the off panel Horse-Fly.
SPIDEY:
So big. So bloated.
SPIDEY:
So juicy.
PANEL 4: Back to Moth. The Horse-Fly has realized something's not kosher here.
MOTH:
It shall rend asunder lesser equines like a lion pouncing upon the finest meat!
PANEL 5: Spidey is crafted a web sling shot and is backing himself into it. His gaze is intense.
SPIDEY:
So plump.
SPIDEY:
So tender.
PANEL 6: The Horse-Fly is terrified. Moth realizes something's going on now.
MOTH:
It shall...
MOTH:
What are you doing?
PANEL 7: Spidey launches himself forward. In his manic eyes we see the Horse-Fly re-imagined an an ANGEL WINGED PIZZA.
PANEL 8: The Pigeon sits chewing on it's tofu pizza, watching the off panel carnage. It's wearing a pair of 3D glasses.
PIGEON SFX:
Coo'.
PAGE 8
PANEL 1: The Delivery Boy starts coming too.
DELIVERY BOY:
...ugh...?
PIGEON SFX:
(Off panel)
Coo.
PANEL 2: Delivery Boy props himself up to look at the Pigeon, lounging against the wall patting it's full belly.
DELIVERY BOY:
Who...?
SPIDEY:
(Off panel)
Oh, I didn't get his name...
PANEL 3: Delivery Boy looks up to see Spidey lounging in a similar manner next to the Pigeon. Our hero may look a little bloated. A stunned Killer Moth is hung upside down in a web-cocoon above them.
SPIDEY:
...but he had good taste.
SPIDEY:
Nycuk nycuk.
MOTH:
(Shaky)
fangs he doesn't even have fangs how did he do that
PANEL 4: Spidey and the Pigeon shrug at each other as the poor Delivery Boy passes out again.
DELIVERY BOY:
*
PIGEON SFX:
Coo!
SPIDEY:
I know, right? I mean, this is Manhattan.
PANEL 5: Pull back to show the entire scene taking place in the alley between the pizza place and the building next door. Spidey trots out, the Pigeon on his back. Moth is hung from the sign, which reads:
TITLE:
THE SPECTACULAR SPIDER-PONY
IN:
FORAGING INSTINCTS
PIGEON SFX:
Coo.
SPIDEY:
Wonder what's for dessert...
Peter Trotter: Friendly Neighbourhood Spider-Pony
PAGE 1
PANEL 1: The Manehattan cityscape,Winter. Snow and pretty lights. Yay!
CAPTION: Manehattan. Only one more night till Hearth’s Warming.
CAPTION: THE night.
PANEL 2: Same shot. A streak of fire!
SFX:
FWOOSH!
PANEL 3: More streaks! They seem to be forming some kind of pattern.
SFX:
FWOOSH!!
PANEL 4: THE HORSESHOE TORCH shoots towards us with a devil may care grin in the most Rainbow Dash way possible.
CAPTION:
The High-flying Horseshoe Torch: The visionary.
SFX:
FWOOSH!!!
PANEL 5: SPIDER-PONY perches on something watching the various blazing trails, his only concession to the snow a web themed scarf.
CAPTION:
The Spectacular Spider-Pony: The facilitator.
SPIDEY THOUGHT BUBBLE:
Show off.
PAGE 2
PANEL 1: Splash panel! Split between the Pony Statue of Liberty and the skyline where the flames have formed an intricate reproduction of the Equestrian flag design in mid air. The Torch zooms from this to a close up of the Statue’s crown, which Spidey is perched on next to a loaded sack. The title is written on the curving crown observation deck.
SPIDEY:
We doing this or what, Flame-Brain?
TORCH:
Soon as you unclench, Web-Head.
TITLE:
THE CHARISMATIC COMBO
IN:
OLD ACQUAINTANCES
PAGE 3
PANEL 1: The TORCH comes in for a landing, flaming off just before touching down, revealing himself to be a brown Pony with a blond mane and tail complete with a flaming exhaust pipe cutie mark. He’s wearing a blue Celestia-esque crest with the 4 logo. Spidey hugs himself to stay warm.
SPIDEY:
Still can’t believe I let you talk me into this.
TORCH:
Please, like this isn’t the best idea.
SPIDEY:
Not that, this! Standing on solid stone! In the wind! And the snow! In spandex!
PANEL 2: TORCH scratches absently at a lipstick mark on his cheek while SPIDEY sprays webbing on his back hooves for some reason.
TORCH:
Don’t forget the oh-so fashionable accoutrement.
SPIDEY:
Like you even know what that word means. What was the big delay anyway? This was your idea.
SFX:
THWIP THWIP THWIP
TORCH: I got...distracted.
TORCH:
Do you have to do that in front of people?
PANEL 3: Spidey fires a webline that slaps into the startled Torch's back, forming a sticky looking harness.
SFX:
THWIP!
SPIDEY:
Well get un-distracted! The job you wanna pull, we’re gonna need some of that Fantastic Focus you’re so renowned for.
PANEL 4: Torch flames on again and takes off, towing Spidey along on the pair of web skis he was weaving in panel 2. Torch is smirking.
TORCH:
Nopony appreciates genius anymore! Where’s that Hearth’s Warming spider-spirit?
SPIDEY:
Left it back at the Baxter half an hour ago.
TORCH:
So why’re you still here?
SPIDEY:
...just drive. If we pull this off it’ll be-
PANEL 5: The BAXTER BUILDING! Pony style!
THING:
(Inside)
-a miracle I tells ya!
PAGE 4
PANEL 1: The ever lovin’ blue eyed pony Thing rejoices with a king sized sandwich in the living room.
CAPTION:
Atmosphere
THING:
Busiest night of the year and I gots the place alls to myself! No pandemonium, no punks and no pranks!
CAPTION:
The Ever Lovin’ Blue Eyed Thing
PANEL 2: THING flops into his favorite (clearly re-enforced chair) and lifts up his sandwich to take a bite with his massive maw. A little magnifying panel draws our attention to what looks like a festive whoopie cushion with a winking Torch face on it hidden under it.
THING:
Let the Bic-head and the bug run around in the snow! It’s just you ’n me, gorgeous. Nothin’ and nopony’s gonna ruin this night.
PANEL 3: Somewhere dank and medieval, heavy on the evil. Lots of shades of green. Spidey and Torch hug the shadows of a near by wall as ominous sentries stomp by. Spidey keeps a look out while the Torch checks a stop watch attached to his crest by a chain.
SPIDEY:
(Whispering)
Well getting in was sure easy enough, now we just have to stay in one piece to get out...what’re you doing?
TORCH:
(Whispering)
Checking on a special delivery.
PANEL 4: Same shot as panel 2 but the living room is now full of swirling confetti and streamers. The Thing is in exactly the same pose he was before, sandwich raised, but is now covered in streamers. He looks sourly at the camera. The Torch face is wafting down to rest on his snack.
THING:
I hate that kid so much I scare myself sometimes.
PANEL 5: Another green chamber. Torch is stepping out of a hole burnt in the wall while Spidey, still carrying the bag, lowers himself from a line to the ceiling.
TORCH:
See? Horrifying!
SPIDEY:
It’s worse than you described! It’s going to take the two of us to expunge this evil!
TORCH:
(What, you can use expunge but I can’t know accoutrement?)
SPIDEY:
Hush, I’m speechifying. It’s a threat! It’s a menace!
PAGE 5
PANEL 1: A cathedral like green chamber. In the middle is a massive stone statue of DR. GLOOM. Spidey starts opening the bag, sharing a determined look with a mischievous Torch.
SPIDEY:
It’s gotta go...
PANEL 2: Thing opens a door, brushing some streamers off his rocky shoulders.
CAPTION:
Decorations
THING:
Sorry ’bout the impromptu mess, doll face. Though to be honest I’d almost forgotten anypony was comin’ over.
PANEL 3: AUNT HAY TROTTER enters, carrying gifts and a covered tray on her back. Despite her derpy eyes she takes in the full mess of the living room as she slides her stuff onto a table.
CAPTION:
Hay Trotter, queen of aunts
AUNT HAY:
Honestly Grimm, how many years does an old mare have to make the rounds before it sinks in: the best gifts are those given in person.
AUNT HAY:
The place looks...festive but lonely. Is it just you tonight?
PANEL 4: The Thing waves it off as Hay lifts the lid off the tray. Cookies!
THING:
Ah Stretch ’n Susie had some fancy schamncy shindig to sit in on, ’n the matchsticks probably playin’ walkin’ nightlight for your nephew somewhere.
AUNT HAY:
Such good boys!
THING:
Eh, good at makin’ a mess maybe. I gotta lot to be thankful for Hay, don’t get me wrong, but I like to take a holiday on the holidays. Let the youngsters have they’re holly ’n jolly.
AUNT HAY:
So you won’t be wanting a little company and comestibles while cleaning up?
PANEL 5: The Thing bites a cookie. Sold.
THING:
Well. Might be nice to break out the old Parcheesi set...
THING:
Mmmm, mandelbrodt.
PAGE 6
PANEL 1: Spidey and Torch admire their off panel handiwork.
TORCH:
Victory never tasted so sweet.
SPIDEY:
And to think I almost didn’t come.
PANEL 2: The two make their way back through the hole. Torch is a little surprised but not as much as Spidey what with his spider-sense going off and all.
TORCH:
How come?
SPIDEY:
Because I was expecting something like this to happen.
PANEL 3: Torch flames back on as the two find themselves surrounded by Gloombots.
SPIDEY:
Something like this always happens.
PANEL 4: Ground floor of the Baxter Building. Thing holds the lobby door open for Aunt Hay as she heads on home.
CAPTION:
Company
THING:
Take care doll face! I’d escort ya home as is benefitin’ of a gentleman of my breadin’ but...
AUNT HAY:
But anypony who can whoop you good at that many rounds of Parcheesi can look after herself, yes?
THING:
We’ll see ’bout that next years rematch!
PANEL 5: AUNT HAY gives the big galoot a kiss on the cheek before leaving.
THING:
But seriously doll, thanks. It was a pleasure.
AUNT HAY:
Well Benjamin, we’ve both been around for a while now.
THING:
And don’t the squirts like remindin’ me...
AUNT HAY:
But that means we both know that even if you’re not all that lonely, sometimes the best gift a pony can give is their company.
PAGE 7
PANEL 1: Thing waves good bye as she heads for the subway.
THING:
Ah go on and get outta here with that talk before somepony sees. I got’s me a reputation to maintain!
AUNT HAY:
Then I suppose there’s nothing left to say except have a happy Hearths Warming!
THING:
You too doll face, and don’t worry, I will! The kid doesn't know what I planted in his room.
PANEL 2: Spidey and Torch land on a roof, slightly beat up and exhausted.
SPIDEY:
Well...(Ugh)well that was...
TORCH:
Engaging? (Puff) Gratifying? Dare we say(Huff)...fun?
SPIDEY:
I was...gonna go with...(Woooh)disastrous and border line...(Ngh)act of war, but what’s the difference?
PANEL 3: Torch floats casually in mid-air as though resting on an inflatable chair in a pool while Spidey dusts himself down.
TORCH:
And here comes the soliloquy.
SPIDEY:
I’m just saying, this is the season where everypony gets to have a little me time. If we’re gonna pull on the union suits it’d be nice if we could at least try and make the world a better place for a change.
PAGE 4: Same shot. The two casually toss each other gifts without much change in demeanour.
TORCH:
And that’s why we’ll be doing the same thing next year.
SPIDEY:
Of course. Darksied?
TORCH:
Oooh, a challenge!
PANEL 5: Spidey leaps off the roof, scarf blowing in the wind and swings off, saluting his buddy. Torch takes off in a streak of fire, doing likewise. Two arrows reveal the contents of their packages.
SPIDEY:
Happy Hearth’s Warming, Flame-Brain!
TORCH:
Happy Hearth’s Warming Web-Head!
SPIDEY ARROW:
Fire extinguisher.
TORCH ARROW:
Bug spray.
PAGE 8
PAGE 1: Pony BORIS and LUCIA VON BARDAS stand in the statue room, terrified as a cloaked shadow comes towards them.
VON BARDAS:
My lord...
PANEL 2: GLOOM approaches his statue, nervous servants in his wake. The room has been covered in bright decorations and the statue somehow made over into a smiling Santa. A plate of cookies and a note has been left at the base.
PANEL 3: A green field levitates the note up to Gloom's face. A cartoon Spidey and Torch wave at him.
NOTE:
Dear Vic, Didn’t see you at the last super party. =(
So we decided to bring the party to you! =D
Who knows, maybe a little cheer will make a big difference in you. Enjoy the cookies!
Your pals, Flame ’n Thwip.
PANEL 4: Gloom smashes the cookie plate with a hoof. The two servants flee the room.
GLOOM:
Burn it.
VON BARDAS:
At once, lord.
PANEL 5: Gloom just stands there for a while, being a pony in a Dr. Doom costume.
PANEL 6: Same shot. Then he lifts something up into the darkness of his hood.
SFX:
crunch crunch
GLOOM:
Mmmm, mandelbrodt.
CAPTION:
Happy Holidays to all!
Peter Trotter: Friendly Neighbourhood Spider-Pony
PAGE 1
PANEL 1: Darkness. Artsy!
CAPTION:
Spider-sense...
CAPTION:
Tingling!
PANEL 2: Panel is shaped like an hourglass. SPIDER-PONY, spider-sense flaring, tumbles through it along with a ton of sand. Outside of it PRINCESS LUNA and PONY DEATH OF THE ENDLESS watch him from their floating cafe table. Death looks bemused.
DEATH:
Nice costume.
SPIDEY:
Thanks.
LUNA:
There's sand in my frappuccino now.
SPIDEY:
Sorry!
PANEL 3: Spidey and the sand crash down into what looks like an outdoor garden restaurant. His spider-sense is still going off and will continue to do so though most of this. He squints in pain from the impact.
SPIDEY:
Though maybe it's just the all consuming buzzing but now I'm actually kinda...
SPIDEY:
Thirsty!!!
PANEL 4: The sand disperses as dust. Still in the pose he crashed down in Spidey is disconcertingly pushed up right as a chair sprouts out of the dust, complete with a table.
OFF PANEL VOICE:
Then order a drink, Tiger!
SPIDEY:
But I don't know what they serve here! Or where here even is! There's something I've got to do somewhere else...
SPIDEY:
Do...do I know you?
PANEL 5: A pony that might be TWILIGHT SPARKLE, except blonde with a red head streak, is sitting at the other end of the table. Behind her Luna is ordering herself another drink. Death cleans some dust out of her hair.
DREAM DATE:
Of course you do. I'm your dream date!
PAGE 2
PANEL 1: Spidey sits up a little, pushing his chair back. Behind him BEE PONY takes a seat at BEN FRANKLIN PONY'S table.
SPIDEY:
Of course. How could you not be.
SPIDEY:
Except this feels like a real world date, because I want to stay...
PANEL 2: Spidey slips a little as he makes his way from the table into the thick bushes. The ground is made of sticky looking mud. Dream Date sadly rests her chin on her hoof. At the next table UNCLE GLEN plays chess with the shadowy figure of THE BURGLAR.
SPIDEY:
...but I have to leave.
SPIDEY:
Besides this is kinda muddy for a perfect place. Hi Uncle Glen! Sorry for letting you down.
UNCLE GLEN:
Stop blamin' yourself so much and stand up straight.
SPIDEY:
Sorry.
PANEL 3: Spidey emerges from the bushes into a high school hallway. The floor is also muddy. He holds his head from the nagging spider-sense.
SPIDEY:
I sure feel sorry. This jangling is giving me a wicked bad headache!
SPIDEY:
Feels like I'm forgetting something...
PANEL 4: Spidey recoils in horror. Around him the cast of Archie but with Venom faces point and laugh.
SPIDEY:
Oh no.
SPIDEY:
I went to school in my Spidey suit again!
SFX:
HA HA HA HA HA HA
PANEL 5: Spidey strains away at a locker door, suddenly wearing a dorky bow tie and glasses combo.
SPIDEY:
So what else is new?
SPIDEY:
Anypony in there?
PANEL 5: A tidal wave comes roaring out of the locker towering over Spidey. At the top is PONY DREAM OF THE ENDLESS.
SPIDEY:
Oh.
PAGE 3
PANEL 1: Spidey is swept up in the wave, which actually knocks him right out of the panel. Another figure, not Dream, shoots through the water towards him.
SPIDEY:
This headache forgets if spiders can swim or not...
PANEL 2: The Roman god statuesque stallion version of DREAM AQUAMANE, complete with a mane like golden water it's beautiful for real real, bursts out of the water to hold Spidey in his hooves.
SPIDEY:
Oh Aquamane!
PANEL 3: Spidey leans in towards Dream Aquamane, his mask having grown a mouth all of a sudden. His eyes are closing.
SPIDEY:
You're so...so strong...
PANEL 4: Another place entirely. Spidey, the lower half of his mask rolled up, sits bolt upright gasping. His Spider-sense is no longer buzzing.
SPIDEY:
GUGH-HUGH!!!
PANEL 5: Spidey recoils in shock as the real world AQUAMANE beams down at him.
AQUAMANE:
You're alive, my bug eyed buddy! Outrageous!
SPIDEY:
Gugh-huh?!
PAGE 4
PANEL 1: Spidey pulls his mask back down, looking around at the devastation: an unconscious SANDPAPER PONY sprawls in a streak of sand on what turns out to be the city docks.
AQUAMANE:
Steady now, that was quite a drop into the drink!
SPIDEY:
Manehattan water? Explains the taste...how hard did Sandpaper hit me again?
AQUAMANE:
Not half as hard as my friends in that whale pod hit that beachcombing blackguard!
PANEL 2: Aquamane hauls Spidey to his feet and gestures at something off panel which startles the web-slinger.
AQUAMANE:
But it was in fact his target which bore you to the briny deeps!
PANEL 3: It's a tall but soggy statue of Dream. A webline trails from it's base.
AQUAMAN:
Striking fellow isn't he?
SPIDEY:
And yet kinda familiar...
AQUAMAN:
Morpheus, Atlantian king of dreams!
PANEL 4: Spidey rings the water out of his tail as Aquamane goes on.
AQUAMANE:
Our sandy swindler must have been trying to make off with it and other such artifacts stored here as part of one of those theme capers you surface types enjoy so much!
SPIDEY:
I remember! They'd fetch even more on the black market than they cost to restore!
AQUAMANE:
Glad to see all that water you inhaled dragging him back ashore hasn't addled your mind, little chum!
PANEL 5: Spidey waves at Aquamane as he swings off, the king of the sea-ponies putting his hooves on his hips.
AQUAMANE:
You should remember this night fondly! The king of dreams is quick to reward anyone who would would risk life and lungs for any totem of his!
SPIDEY:
Thanks big kahuna but, as a stallion of science, I think I'll stick to risking those for stuff I can actually understand!
SPIDEY:
Like alien symbiotes and cosmic world devourers and norse gods and Pink Floyd lyrics and...
PAGE 5
PANEL 1: Most panels have a cloud like shape. The city is full of web slinging background ponies, among them FEROCIOUS FLATTOP editor of the Derby Bugle. A sign over the city reads "Welcome to Spider-Island". Flattop is so happy, you have no idea.
FLATTOP:
I'M AS GIDDY AS A SCHOOL GIRL!!!
PANEL 2: PETER TROTTER, wearing a Spidey t-shirt shares a table with Dream Date as LEAPARDON serves them a platter of HOSTESS FRUIT PIES.
LEAPARDON:
YOUR ORDER, SIR.
TROTTER:
Thanks 'Don.
PANEL 3: Same shot. Trotter sits up straighter as a thought strikes him. The cloud panel around him pops in a shower of cloud and fruitpies. He's actually sitting up in bed.
TROTTER:
Wait.
TROTTER:
How did he resuscitate me?
PANEL 4: Exterior shot of Trotter's apartment building. We can see him through the bathroom window, frantically pouring toothpaste down his gullet. One of the shadows on the wall is taking on the likeness of a faintly smiling MORPHEUS. The title is spelt out on this shadow.
TITLE: The Spectacular Spider-Pony
IN:
THE BEST MEDITATION
PANEL 5: Luna and Death at their table. Death is peering into her drink.
DEATH:
I think there's sand in my mocha.
LUNA:
That's a fuit pie, dear.
DEATH:
...keen!
Peter Trotter: Friendly Neighbourhood Spider-Pony
PAGE 1
PANEL 1: Tiiiiny little title card panel. MJ and GEM'S cutie marks side by side. MJ's...a theater mask? GEM'S could be a bridge! Tee hee hee! Or whatever. But yeah. Artsy title card!
PANEL 2: PETER TROTTER, MJ and Gemsit at a table in some pony Starbucks place. Trotter seems a might peeved.
CAPTION:
Monday
PETER:
Diplomatic immunity? More like...JERK-o-matic...immunity.
MJ:
You'll have another shot at Dr. Gloom next week, Tiger.
GEM:
Sorry to hear you wasted a weekend though.
PANEL 2: A waiter brings Trotter an almost decadently large muffin. Peter salivates. MJ smirks.
PETER:
Oh trust me, it's the little things that get your week off to the right start.
MJ:
'Little'.
PETER:
I want it to be a big week.
PETER:
Speaking of. A lead in MacHoof and an invitation to a lecture at the School for Gifted Unicorns? How much bigger can you get?
PANEL 3: Peter opens his mouth wide enough to make his face 30% mouth, keeping one brotherly eye open and on his peeps. MJ looks proud, Gem abashed.
GEM:
It does sound like it's going to be a pretty good week...
PETER:
That's the plan!
PANEL 4: Same shot. All turn to look at a commotion outside.
KID:
(off panel)
Diamond Dogs!
PANEL 6: The pack of DIAMOND DOGS push past a KID with an ice cream cone. (I guess he's a unicorn so he can hold it telekinetically?) The trio can be seen observing this through the coffee shop window.
PETER:
Of course, the best laid plans of spiders and ponies...
PAGE 2
PANEL 1: The dogs flee around a corner leaving the Kid to stare mournfully at his smooshed ice cream.
SPIDEY:
(Off panel)
Heads up, True Believer!
PANEL 2: The Kid looks up in surprise, catching the tossed muffin.
SPIDEY:
(Off panel)
Consider this one on the house!
PANEL 3: SPIDEY swings by over head, saluting the Kid.
SPIDEY:
The house of ideas that is!
PANEL 4: Spidey sticks to an alley wall behind the Dogs, who cower from some terrible glow.
SPIDEY:
Don't you guys need to break for lunch too?
ROVER:
Oh cruel fate! Our diamond! It is in actuality a gateway to some horrible dungeon dimension!
SPIDEY:
(Small text)
Of course it is...
PANEL 5: Close up as SPIDEY scowls to himself.
SPIDEY:
(Small text)
Why does this always happen to me?
PAGE 3
PANEL 1: The Manehattan theater district, as seen through a pair of binoculars. Smoke and assorted super powers froth around the area.
CAPTION:
Tuesday.
FLATTOP:
OUTRAGEOUS! The Stampede Six vs the Injustice Herd! A gatecrashed box office premier in the heart of the theater district! The Falabella Four and that masked menace on the scene!
PANEL 2: FEROCIOUS FLAT TOP turns away from his binoculars to address his staff.
FLATTOP:
Is this outrageous?! Better believe it! Is it what I'm talking about?! No! I'm talking about how I have no news! No stories! No PICTURES!
PANEL 3: The staff run for it as Flattop rants on, unaware of Spidey and the GOAT GOBLIN hurtling through the air and seconds away from breaking through his office window.
FLATTOP:
It's out THERE while you're all in HERE! In my day we took the initiative! You didn't just write a story, you FOUND a st-
FLA TOP:
PAY ATTENTION TO ME WHEN I'M YELLING AT YOU, YOU INCOMPETENT--
PANEL 4: GEM and MJ'S apartment, some time later. A cranky Spidey lays on the couch, his costume-less hind quarters being meticulously covered in band aids by Gem.
SPIDEY:
"Cheer up, Peter. The week'll shape up, Peter. Hold still the removal spell is temperamental, Peter."
GEM:
I said I was sorry.
PANEL 5: MJ looks on from the side lines. Gem and Spidey exchange guilty looks.
MJ:
Hope that's all fixed up in time for the show, Tiger. That'll make ya feel better.
SPIDEY:
Yeah, about that...
PANEL 6: A newspaper front page. Photos of a demolished theater.
PAGE 4
PANEL 1: One big mutha. MULESTERIO, MASTER OF THE ARCANE ARTS, dawns an enchanted bubble helmet and grows into what's basically a thirty feet tall DISCORD IN A MYSTERIO COSTUME! Also reality is crumbling into a surreal netherworld.
CAPTION:
Wednesday
MULESTRIO:
And as MULESTRIO, MASTER OF THE ARCANE ARTS claims the power of the fishbowl of Discord, let the curtain rise on a new era...
GIANT MULESTRIO:
...AND THE STAGE BE SET...FOR ALL OF REALITY... TO BECOME...MULESTRIO'S OYSTER!
PANEL 2: Spidey leads as much of a charge as he can when four ponies hop, swing and fly from floating bric-a-brack. Backing him up are four other SPIDER-PONIES.
SPIDEY:
...and Gem doesn't think MJ should be bummed out, so she's staying in town. Which is bumming her out. Wanna come over and put on a show for them over coffee? I think we've got the makings of a great comedy troupe here.
SPIDER-PEGASUS 2099:
Wow, they've still got coffee in your era?
ULTIMATE SPIDER-ZEBRA:
Sure, as long as I'm back by curfew...
SPIDER-UNICORN NOIR:
Nyeh, see, wiseguys hates us some mixed metaphors, see? Nyeh!
PAGE 5
PANEL 1: It's DEADFOAL! Upside down for some reason!
CAPTION:
Thursday
DEADFOAL:
So how'd that go?
PANEL 2: A tired Spidey, mask rolled up, sips some coffee.
SPIDEY:
Don't think they'll need a replacement for Pinkie Pie anytime soon.
DEADFOAL:
(Off panel)
Sorry to hear that, bro. Wanna hug?
SPIDEY:
I'm not untying you.
PANEL 3: DEADFOAL frowns.
DEADFOAL:
Applesauce.
DEADFOAL:
Do ya think...they need a hug, maybe? Possibly hugs plural?
PANEL 4: Spidey pulls his mask back down.
SPIDEY:
...maybe they do. But they don't need me looking out for them. Which just makes me want to do something for them even more.
DEADFOAL:
(Off panel)
So...why ain'tcha doing somethin' for them now?
PANEL 5: Wider shot. Deadfoal is hogtied and suspended upside down from something by webbing. Spidey sits on a pile of rubble underneath him, gesturing to the street clogging carnage surrounding them. Rubble and fire everywhere. CAPTAIN EQUESTRIA and IRON MANE are arguing with each other in the background. A burning banner wafts in the breeze, the words "Deadfoal Appreciation Day" just visible through the flames.
DEADFOAL:
Oh.
PAGE 6
PANEL 1: MJ trots into the apartment.
CAPTION:
Friday
MJ:
Guys, I realized I should say sorry for being so mopey this week. It was just supposed to be special, y'know. But whatdya say we go to the park and-
PANEL 2: MJ stops dead. Gem looks at her sadly as Spidey hops out the window. The skies over head are on fire with lightning and Kirby Krackles.
MJ:
Oh.
GEM:
Doctor Gloom.
MJ:
Ohhhh.
PANEL 3: The two look glumly out the window together at the apocalyptic sky.
MJ:
He'll be okay.
GEM:
The Befrienders are there.
MJ:
Of course.
GEM:
The Elements of Harmony, even.
MJ:
Wow.
PANEL 4: Same shot. Spidey pokes his head into shot upside down.
SPIDEY:
Don't forget the Doc!
MJ:
Tiger?!
GEM:
But you just...?
SPIDEY:
I saw!
SPIDEY:
(Small text)
Man my flank looks huge. Maybe it's the muffins...
PANEL 5: SPIDEY drops off the ceiling. His costume is battle ravaged and he has a present webbed to his back.
GEM:
How?
SPIDEY:
More like Who.
MJ:
The Doctor.
SPIDEY:
Yep! I'm from about ten hours into the future. Spoiler alert: good guys win!
PAGE 7
PANEL 1: Spidey bashfully passes the webbed gift to Gem.
SPIDEY:
I'll have to go back soon so I can come back (however that works), but I asked the Doc about this and he said it would be okay, so...
PANEL 2: Gem unwraps the package with her magic (she's a unicorn in case I didn't mention it. MJ may be either a Pegasus or an Earth Pony but anyway). The two look at it curiously: it's what Jack Kirby might think an hour glass should look like.
GEM:
And this is...?
PANEL 3: Spidey indicates a button on the device.
SPIDEY:
My way of saying sorry this week's been less than perfect.
PANEL 4: Close up. MJ and Gem's awed faces bathed in the glow of the device.
SPIDEY:
(Off Panel)
It's a week's worth of time. It's not the perfect moment, but it can be if you want it.
PANEL 5: Same shot. Gem snaps out of it first. She looks grateful but curious.
GEM:
Peter...why?
PAGE 8
PANEL 1: Spidey shrugs.
SPIDEY:
You guys are always there to listen to me about how rough things are. I wanted to show that I'm listening too.
PANEL 2: The three share a hug, the device cradled between them. Dawwwww!
SPIDEY:
That's what friends do.
PANEL 3: Spidey waves as he bounces out the apartment door, vanishing into another glow.
SPIDEY:
Okay, going back so I can go forward and do this, so I'll swing by in maybe half an hour! Maybe we'll order out!
MJ:
Don't be a stranger Tiger!
PANEL 4: MJ shares a smile with Gem, still checking out the device.
MJ:
So Tigress, any plans this weekend?
PANEL 5: Stylized image. Spidey sits in a web, a photo of Trotter, Gem and MJ webbed to the foreground.
GEM CAPTION:
I'm sure we'll think of something.
TITLE:
THE SPECTACULAR SPIDER-PONY
IN
FRIENDS IN DEED
Peter Trotter: Friendly Neighbourhood Spider-Pony
Stop Me If You've Heard This One Before
PAGE 1
PANEL 1: SPIDER-PONY sticks to a wall, looking nervy.
SPIDEY:
It’s kinda funny, y’know?
PANEL 2: Same shot. He looks off to the side.
SPIDEY:
I mean this is ME we’re talking about here.
PANEL 3: He looks earnestly into the camera.
SPIDEY:
But I’m having second thoughts.
PANEL 4: MJ leans out of her apartment window, giving a reassuring smile.
MJ:
Just go for it Tiger.
PANEL 5: Spidey haggles.
SPIDEY:
But this is a pretty big leap to make for such a little-
PANEL 6: GEM leans in next to a bemused MJ and gives THE LOOK over her glasses.
GEM:
Peter. Just go for it.
PAGE 2
PANEL 1: A startled Spidey starts scrambling up the wall.
SPIDEY:
Okay, okay...
PANEL 2: Evening. BLACK CALF slinks out of a museum skylight wearing a collection of fabulous jewelry.
BLACK CALF:
...if you’re sure it’s what you want, Spider.
PANEL 3: A terse Spidey points an admonishing hoof.
SPIDEY:
Put that back.
SPIDEY:
And sure I’m sure!
PANEL 4: AUNT HAY enjoys some tea in her favorite chair.
AUNT HAY:
Then I’m certain you’ll enjoy it, dear.
PANEL 5: Spidey crouches on a window sill, mask rolled up to enjoy a cookie.
SPIDEY:
Wanna hear something funny?
PANEL 6: Night.The GOAT GOBLIN reigns fiery death towards us.
GOBLIN:
AHAHAHAHAHA!
PAGE 3
PANEL 1: Spidey irritably dodges fire.
SPIDEY:
Who asked you?
PANEL 2: POISON PONY charges towards us down a sewer tunnel.
POISON:
WE HATE YOU!
PANEL 3: Spidey struggles to free himself from a black web.
SPIDEY:
I’m sooooo scared!
PANEL 4: An Escher like dimensions. Tentacles everywhere. DR. WHOOVES flees from them cheerfully.
DR. WHOOVES:
Why? Go for it! It’ll be brilliant!
PANEL 5: Spidey wards off his own tentacles with webbing.
SPIDEY:
But what if I, I dunno, over do it?
PANEL 6: Canterlot. CAPTAIN EQUESTRIA catches her shield in her mouth as it whirls back from decapitating a steampunk robot.
CAP:
Drrr’nt m’rrry nghbtt ’t!<
PAGE 4
PANEL 1: SPIDEY looks up from disarming a bomb.
SPIDEY:
Sorry?
PANEL 2: Asgard. THE OUTRAGEOUS SLEIPNIR rears up boistrusly over a defeated frost giant.
SLEIPNIR:
The steed of Odin declares you shall be in your element, arachnid one, and should therfore be as fearless as she!!!
PANEL 3: Spidey webs up a axe weilding dwarf.
SPIDEY:
Well yeah but I’ve never done anything like this before. Maybe I’d just need to see some friendly faces...
PANEL 4: THE INCREDIBLE SHY-HULK demolishes her way through a forest.
SHY-HULK:
LEAVE SHY-HULK ALONE!
PANEL 5: Spidey ducks and covers as a thrown tree narrowly misses his head.
SPIDEY:
(Small text)
Really scared now.
PANEL 6: IRON MANE dons his helmet.
IRON MANE:
Just don’t overthink it.
PAGE 5
PANEL 1: A woozy Spidey slumps on a work table surrounded by empty short glasses.
SPIDEY:
I don’ think thish wuz a good idea...
PANEL 2: Moon rise. BATPONY glares.
PANEL 3: Spidey staggers, holding up his hooves defensively.
SPIDEY:
Alright, alright, I’ll go through with it...
PANEL 4: DERPY HOOVES. Just Derpy. Being Derpy.
PANEL 5: Spidey swings on his way to wherever, looking over his shoulder. His spider sense makes an "?" shape.
PAGE 6
PANEL 1: The sign of the MANEHATTAN STAND UP CLUB. A subtitle informs us it’s OPEN MIC NIGHT.
PANEL 2: Spidey pulls off his mask in an alley.
PANEL 3: PETER TROTTER takes a peek through a curtain.
PANEL 4: The lights are low but the room is clearly full of waiting patrons.
PANEL 5: Trotter steps out onto the stage and up to a mic stand.
PANEL 6: And opens his mouth to deliver the first joke.
PAGE 7
PANEL 1: A wall clock. It’s a little after five.
PANEL 2: Same clock. It’s almost six.
PANEL 3: The club is practically deserted. We say practically because a last few bored looking patrons can be seen walking out.
PANEL 4: Gem and MJ trot up to the bar to comfort a despondent Peter, who nurses a soda.
PETER:
Know what’s funny?
PETER:
Because apparently I don’t.
MJ:
It wasn’t that bad Tiger...
PANEL 5: Gem looks sidelong. MJ frowns at her.
GEM:
Well...
PANEL 6: Peter looks up, his face doing that symbolic Spidey half mask thing.
GEM:
You kind of tried too hard to do what you do.
PAGE 8
PANEL 1: Peter looks into his drink reflectively.
PANEL 2: The three friends smile for different reasons at what Gem says next.
GEM:
But at least you tried, right?
GEM:
(...can anyone else hear fire alarms?)
PANEL 3: DEADFOAL hops out of demolished back with the typical sack of loot.
PANEL 4: He turns around at the off panel sound of:
SPIDEY:
Stop me if you’ve heard this one before, knockoff.
PANEL 5: Spidey swings towards us, leg extended for a kick.
SPIDEY:
What’s black and blue and red all over?
PANEL 6: Starburst effect. THE END.
Peter Trotter: Friendly Neighbourhood Spider-Pony
A Week in the Life
PAGE 1
PANEL 1: POISON PONY bursts out of a giant lasagna to strangle SPIDER-PONY like on that one Ultimate cover.
CAPTION:
Monday
POISON:
wE -kNeW- yOu CoUlDn'T rEsIsT tHe BeGuIlInG tAsTe Of ThE oLd CoUnTrY, tRoTtEr!!!*
SPIDEY THOUGHT BUBBLE:
Could be worse.
SPIDEY THOUGHT BUBBLE:
Could be Wednesday.
SUB CAPTION:
*Spidey's family is Irish. Lasagna comes from Greece.
PANEL 2: Spidey cradles the limp body of THE HORSESHOE TORCH, complete with X'd out eyes and lolling tongue ala the Super cousins on that Crisis cover. Other heroes hang their heads in the background, except for TIMBERWOLF who is picking his nose with a claw.
CAPTION:
Tuesday
SPIDEY:
JOHNNY NOOOOO!
PANEL 3: Reality shatters like a window that's had a brick thrown through it, which might be expected since what we can see of reality in the shards is an apocalyptic sky. Spidey tumbles through the resultant black void along with other multiversal Spidey's, including SPIDER-HAM.
CAPTION:
Wednesday
SPIDEY:
I
SPIDEY:
HATE
SPIDEY:
WEDNESDAYS.
PANEL 4: THE AMAZING BAG PONY turns around to meet a startled DR. WHOOVES stepping out of the TARDIS glow.
CAPTION:
Thursday
DR. WHOOVES:
There you are, I've been looking simply everywhen, the Vogons are-
DR. WHOOVES:
Why've you got a paper bag on your head?
BAGPONY:
Laundry day.
PAGE 2
PANEL 1: A flamed on Horseshoe Torch destroys DR. GLOOM'S latest doodad. Spidey looks on in his Future Foundation duds.
TORCH:
GUESS WHO'S BACK, BABY!
SPIDEY:
Well that was fast.
PANEL 2: THE MYSTERIOUS MARE-DO-WELL vs PONY HARLEY QUINN! With magic vs a giant hammer for context. It's pretty intense. SPIDEY and DEADFOAL, hung upside down in a web cocoon, look on in awe.
CAPTION:
Saturday
SPIDEY/DEADFOAL:
Wow.
PANEL 3: PETER TROTTER drifts off in a web hammock in a familiar looking library.
CAPTION:
Sunday
PANEL 4: Spidey contentedly eats a sandwich, just chillin' on a gargoyle statue. Completely unaware of the slobbering Poison Pony descending on him with wicked glee.
CAPTION:
Monday
SPIDEY:
Y'know what?
SPIDEY:
I feel good about this week.
END
Peter Trotter: Friendly Neighbourhood Spider-Pony
PAGE 1
PANEL 1: FIELD FURY!
FURY:
I want to train you to be a better Spider-Pony! The Ultimate Spider-Pony!
Panel 2: CAPTAIN EQUESTRIA! Pointing in that classic poster pose!
CAP:
Ah want you! For the New Befrienders!
PANEL 3: IRON MANE! Holding out the Iron-Spider costume.
IRON MANE:
Air conditioned -and- breathes like Egyptian cotton! All for the low low price of somepony’s secret identity!
IRON MAN:
Huh? Huh?
PAGE 2
PANEL 1: SPIDER PONY!
PANEL 2: Pull back from the same shot as panel 1. Spidey standing before the three.
PANEL 3: Same shot. Spidey throws back his head, to their surprise, and:
SPIDEY:
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGHHHHH
PANEL 4: The Manehattan cityscape. The sound effect runs across the bottom of all panels.
SFX:
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGHHHHH
PANEL 5: MINUETTE looks up from working on a console with THE DOCTOR.
COLGATE:
...do you hear that?
DOCTOR:
Of course.
DOCTOR:
Hear what?
PAGE 3
PANEL 1: The various mentors clap their hooves over their ears. Cap is holding her shield in the way as if to protect herself from the scream.
FURY:
Boy, what is WRONG with you?!
IRON MANE:
Ugh, it’s ringing like a never ending cash register in here...
PANEL 2: Spidey. Still screaming.
SFX:
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGHHHHH
Panel 3: Same shot. He takes a break.
SFX:
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-
SPIDEY:
I’m just gonna keep doing this until you all leave.
PANEL 4: Same shot. He resumes.
SFX:
-AAAAAGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
PANEL 5: The other three heroes depart in their own heroic fashion.
SFX:
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGHHHHH
PAGE 4
PANEL 1: A winded Spidey gets his breath back. A black tendril taps him on the shoulder.
SPIDEY:
(Shaky, whispery)
Man, I should try that more often...
SFX:
TPP TPP
PANEL 2: Spidey turns to come face to face with an upside down and perpetually grinning POISON PONY.
PANEL 3: Black sludge starts oozing in on Spidey from all sides. He looks around desperately.
SPIDEY:
But sometimes change is good!
PANEL 4: Spidey's left with only a gooey iris to look through.
SPIDEY:
Right? Guys? Anypony? Hello?
PANEL 5: Black.
SPIDEY:
(Wobbly bubble through the goo)
G'mph t thph augh fughs!*
CAPTION:
*Guess that's all folks!
Peter Trotter: Friendly Neighbourhood Spider-Pony
INT. HAPPY HOME-DAY
FADE IN on the HAPPY FAMILY (Pa, Ma and Little Candy Sunshine) sitting down to breakfast.
SUNSHINE:
Morning Ma! Morning Pa!
MA:
Morning Sunshine! Say, is that a new dress? I bet Happy Days would take notice of something like that this close to the big dance!
SUNSHINE:
Maaaaaaaa!
MA:
Don't you agree Pa?
PA:
Honey, all I know is this breakfast is just like my new car: solid and smelling of varnish.
Everyone except Ma laughs. The idyllic scene freezes.
ANNOUNCER:(V.O)
Has this ever happened to you?
SPIDER-PONY is thrown through the wall and into the table. A horrified Little Sunshine's dress is covered in breakfast. Her parents stare nonplussed at the semi-conscious Spidey.
ANNOUNCER:(V.O)
When there's somepony strange in your neighbourhood...
Spideyis yanked back out through the hole by a chain.
EXT. SUBURBIA-DAY.
The family peer through to see him getting slammed into the pavement over and over again by TATSURION THE UNCHAINED. He is finally smashed through Pa's new car.
ANNOUNCER:
Who you gonna call?
Tatsurion hurls Spidey into the air and launches a barrage of missiles after him.
ANNOUNCER:
How about...
SPIDEY:
This is gonna sting.
Cut back JUST before the missiles reach our hero to the house, where a wagon with the DAMAGE CONTROL logo pulls up.
BARBER SHOP QUARTET:(V.O)
DAMAGE CONTROOOOOOOLLLLL!
An army of construction ponies march out and start rebuilding everything in a still frame montage.
ANNOUNCER:(V.O)
Yes, Damage Control, the number one super shenanigans repair company!
The wall is bricked back up, the kitchen is repaired, Pa's car town away, Little Sunshine models for a custom made ball gown and Tatsurion strokes his chin while listening to a compelling argument from PORTER.
ANNOUNCER:(V.O)
No task is too daunting or just plain strange for our highly trained task force of builders, interior decorators, mechanics, tailors and negotiators!
Tatsurion and Porter shake claws/hooves and the great beast leaves. The Happy family stand outside their sparkling and more luxurious home.
HAPPY FAMILY:
Thanks Damage Control!
An unnoticed and smoking SPIDEY crash lands in the garbage can.
ANNOUNCER:(V.O)
And the first one's free! When the super ponies need help, they call...Damage Control!
There's a thunderclap and the sky turns dark. SPIDEY pokes his head out of the can as GALACTUS descends upon Manehattan.
SPIDEY:
There has GOT to be a better way to make a living.
FADE TO BLACK
