Chapters Chapter 1: The Daily Routine
Wednesday, the day that signified half a week has passed, and also known as hump day (for some apparent reason). The sun was slowly ascending above the horizon, giving the sky a luscious orange and blue texture. The flowers began to bloom, the birds began to sing and the bees started to hum. Morning has arrived to Equestria.
The sun's rays were slowly piercing through the windows of the many homes in Ponyville and through the glass panes of Canterlot, giving everyone the nod to wake up to a brand new day. The ponies wake up to either eat breakfast, open their shop's doors, or take Alka-Seltzer for their hangover. Either way, it seemed that today was going to be another clear and crisp summer day, which was always nice.
And then there was you.
Unlike others, you were not a spring/summer person. You preferred fall and winter, for you were one of those kinds of people who were "cold-blooded." You loved the chilly breeze that blew across your face and the cold air in which you could see your breath as you exhaled.
However, you didn't mind it being summer as you were in Canterlot most of the time. So, it wouldn't feel like you were being baked from the scorching sun and it's deadly rays...of death. But that subsided from the real subject at hand. It was something you hated waking up to, everyday since you jumped through that portal and ended up in Equestria...
You were a janitor.
That word followed you everywhere, no matter where you were. It clung to you like a bad tick, which you could never rid yourself of. For most, it wouldn't be a burden, but you were the "special" one. You were a human. The first one to ever exist in Equestria. Sure there were parties to welcome you to their land, and you even got acquainted with the Main 6, whom you became friends with in a short time span.
That was nothing compared to what happened during those parties. You were greeted by the royal sisters who ruled over the land, Princess Celestia and Princess Luna, two of the most powerful alicorns that existed on the planet. They even offered you a job and a home in their beloved castle known only as Canterlot, which was the biggest, brightest palace you've ever seen. But of course that joy was cracked when you discovered what your job was. Kinda wished you thought twice about the decision, eh?
Regardless of that buzzkill, there were some good perks: you had a place to eat and sleep, the job surprisingly pays well compared to what you would get in Ponyville, and you occasionally had an opportunity to speak to one of the royal sisters. Specifically Princess Luna.
She was by far your favorite pony to see and talk to, although many of those opportunities were from royal balls and weddings, which always seem to happen once or twice every month. Adding the fact that she had such luscious curves, a great chest, and the most firm, round, bubbly behind you ever laid eyes on. Not to mention those eyes of hers. Oh man, those eyes, those dark turquoise eyes... you felt like she was staring into your soul and exploring your memories; reading you like one of her many books and scrolls. If you had a chance with that flank, there would be nothing that would have told you otherwise. You really couldn't put it into more words but three in particular. You loved her.
That all disappeared into your brain when your alarm clock came into the mix and began to ring those annoying bells on top of its head.
Your eyes slowly opened up, trying to regain your vision; removing the crust from your eyelids. Your right arm slowly reached for the alarm clock and when you came into contact with it, you...threw it at the wall and it shattered to pieces. Needless to say, you hated that clock. You kinda wished they had the digital clocks you had back in your world, but you keep forgetting that Equestrian technology was about a century behind, which was kinda the reason you got so many blank faces from the ponies you talked to when you told them about your '67 Ford Mustang.
They thought you were talking about an old horse...
Getting your mind back to reality, you removed yourself from the blankets of your slightly rusty bed, which you didn't mind really, though you wished the springs weren't so freakin' loud. You stood up and gave yourself a good and long stretch as you yawned at the ceiling. Scratching your lower back and smacking your lips, you took two small steps to your sink and mirror. All you could see was a moderately toned man who was in his early twenties, a five'o'clock shadow on his face, and eyes that looked bloodshot to hell.
You didn't know what it was about morning that got you looking all cranky and tired. Although, you did remember how much you partied not only in Equestria, but also in your world as well. Let's just say you could really hold your liquor. Part of you thought if you got fired from your job, you could always partake in drinking competitions, just as long as you didn't die from alcohol poisoning.
You looked at the mirror again and speaking to your reflection you said,"Today is a new day." There wasn't a need to be grouchy for no reason. That you always said in your mind. Grabbing a towel, a shirt and some used boxer briefs, you went to your assigned bathroom which was only a couple of rooms from your bedroom. There you did your three S's (the sh*t, the shave, and the shower), and afterwards you would go and have a quick breakfast before beginning your day as a....janitor .
After all that jizz, you went back to your fairly small room to get on your uniform. It was amazingly comfortable and it fit like a glove. You had to thank the element of generosity for making it for you. You had to go pay a visit to her sometime in the future. Maybe you can get yourself a nice tux for the next royal ball--- oh crap.
"Ah damn! I almost forgot about that!" You yelled in your mind.
Yes, it was another royal ball, but this one was super special. It is Princess Cadance and Shining Armor's second anniversary together, and like last year, they're celebrating it with, you guessed it, a royal ball. Who doesn't love balls (no pun intended)?
Now why is this a problem to you? Simple. 1. The ball was on Friday; 2. You're taking a day off on Friday; 3. The ball was the only way you were able to even say hi to Luna; and 4. You had no tux to wear.
You wanted to look presentable. You wanted the ponies who would attend the ball look at you and say,"Wow! Now there's a person who knows how to dress for success!" You wanted to go up to Luna with no fear, no doubts and a big pair of cojones to say to her face," I LOVE you!" and give her the biggest kiss she ever gotten!
That confidence and energy slowly descended as you saw yourself in the mirror again, and started facing the facts...
"Ah, who am I kidding?" You said to your reflection with a depressing tone."What chance do I have with her? Easy, none. She wouldn't go for a guy like me. I mean look at me. I'm a janitor! What kind of pony, person...whatever would go for a man who cleans up messes and sanitizes the public toilets? Maybe I should just work on Friday and forget my plans were ever thought of..."
"Or maybe you should get that sh*t out of your mouth and grow a pair for once in your pathetic life, you sorry excuse for a decent man!!" That voice nearly startled you, for you had no idea where it came from. It didn't take long for you to realize that your reflection had changed from a janitor to a drill sergeant barking at you from the mirror. You thought you were just crazy, but you remembered that you were in Equestria. Crazy stuff tends to happen on a daily basis.
"Uhh, hi?" Those were the only words you could muster at the moment.
"Don't you 'hi' me with those horrid garments you call a uniform! If I could, I would pop out of this reflection and give you a brief history of pain with the back of my hand!"
You just stood there looking at your drill sergeant self, wondering if you were still awake. Then words came out of your mouth.
"Uhh, I don't know what's going on, but I'll ask anyway. Who are you exactly?"
Your response was one you'd expect from a drill sergeant. "Do you have dumbass written all over your forehead!? I'm your inner conscience, maggot! Everybody has one! You didn't think you had one or something given how dimwitted and blind you are right now!?"
"No, I knew that. It's just that I didn't think an inner conscience would normally be a drill sergeant."
"Everyone has their own image of their conscience, son. I took this form from the the fact you watched so many goddamn military movies!"
Well, that you couldn't deny. You were more of a military person when it came to flicks, no matter how cheesy they were.
"Now that that load of crap is out of the way, a little birdie told me you were planning on giving up your plan to woo Miss Luna because you thought you didn't stand a chance with her."
"I wouldn't put it exactly like that, but--" immediately you were cut off.
"Well I'm telling you that is a load of horsesh*t! And if I see a smirk on your face because of that pun, I swear to god I will rip off your lips and use 'em to kiss my hairy ass!"
"But...you're a reflection," you corrected your conscience.
"Well look who's an Observing Oscar! You want a medal, dipsh*t!? But let's not go on a tangent that you just LOVE to do all the time!"
"Man, for an inner conscience, this guy is kind of an asshole," you thought.
"I HEARD that, dead man!! Unless you have a severe case of amnesia, remember, I'm your conscience! I can hear anything and everything that does or does not come out of that flappy vagina you call a mouth!"
"Can you just get to the point already!? I'm gonna run late for my shift," you demanded impatiently to your reflection.
"Very well then. Now, who are you?"
"Well, uhh, my name is---" again you were cut off.
"You are a MAN , soldier! Now say it!"
You followed his command. After all, he is your conscience."I am a man?"
"Louder!"
"I am a man."
"I can't hear you! Louder!"
"I am a man!"
"Louder!"
"I am a MAN!"
"YELL IT TO THE WORLD!!"
"I AM A MA-- "
A few thumps on your door stopped you from having to replace your voice box. It was the royal guard. They must have heard you as you were screaming your lungs to your reflection in the mirror. But then again, who could not hear it from the way you were yelling about it?
"Sir, I think we all get what you are, so there's no need to shout it."
"Sorry..." you said in a whisper as you slowly close your door till you heard the click on it.
You returned to your reflection, actually hoping your drill sergeant conscience would still be there. Alas, upon doing so, all you saw was the janitor. You thought maybe he will return when needed, because isn't that what a conscience does? That little session though had proven to be effective for you, as your confidence had ascended back to its original position. Now you were ready to take on the world again. You said it before,"Today is a new day." Grabbing your cleaning equipment, you left your bedroom with your head high and in hopes that what your reflection said will help you fulfill your one true dream. You now finally began your day...
...as a janitor.
Chapter 2: Impossibly Easy
Sweep this, mop that, wipe these, and scrub those. Today couldn't have been different from any other work day, although you thought it felt hotter outside than normal. You took a peek at a calendar to check the month and saw it was August, the month where most of the summer days are scorching. You'd hate to be anypony who had to go out and get something today. Luckily, you heard from some of the royal guard that a big storm was going to be formed by the weather patrol tomorrow, which was much needed. Equestria had been going five days straight without rain, and the flowers and crops were starting to whither.
As you were just finishing up spraying down the dining room tables and wiping them clean, you heard a call from a guard who was at the entrance of the room.
"Excuse me, janitor! Her majesty has requested your assistance with something of the utmost importance!"
"Which majesty!?" You yelled back from the other side of the room.
"Princess Celestia!" He replied and left the room.
"Oh great. Wonder what's been giving her panties a good tug this time..." you murmured under your breath.
Ever since you came to Equestria, you felt like there was some bad blood between you and Celestia. The main reason was that every time she calls for you, it's usually something you've done wrong or haven't done enough of. From things like,"You missed a spot," to "This area in the castle could've been swept a bit more," you felt like she was your mother-in-law. You almost thought she had OCD or somethin'.
After cleaning the last table in the dining room, you headed straight to Celestia's throne room without stopping. Good thing you knew this place practically inside and out or you would've been as lost as a wondering kid in a big-ass mall. Being a janitor had its perks.
Couple minutes later, you arrived at her door, giving it the royal knock, which sounded dangerously close to the rhythm of "Shave and a Haircut."
You didn't want to know why.
With that, the doors opened slowly; perhaps a little too slowly. You got that it made a dramatic effect for someone arriving, but damn did you not think those doors could open any slower. You decided to go through the space in between them so you wouldn't waste time with her majesty.
"Come forward, subject," Princess Celestia beckoned from across the throne room. The room was huge and was the main spot for all the royal balls and weddings, which made sense. Still, you wondered what it's like in here when there aren't any ponies around. That's a lot of alone time for one princess.
Of course that doesn't mean Celestia doesn't get stuff done around here. She would have scrolls to give to her apprentice, read ones given to her, make changes small or large to laws and regulations. You know, the usual princess sh*t.
It took you a solid sixty seconds to approach the steps to her throne and to stop on the first step. You took off your hat and bowed in her presence as you should when it comes to a princess, then you got up, looked at her atop the stairs and--- JESUS, LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THOSE KNOCKERS!!
No matter how many times you've seen her, you just couldn't get over the fact of how large her melons were. Pumpkin sized at best. You felt like the only thing that will save her would be a sports bra with a hell of a lot of support. But no, she just lets them hang there without a care in the world. No reason to cover up that big round flank of hers either. Ain't nothing to save her there. Even for a princess, you would have thought she would have the decency to cover herself up more. Given the garments she was wearing, it looked like she was begging to be f*cked. She could go au naturel and you wouldn't notice.
A couple of finger snaps got you out of the gutter, though, and looking back at those violet purple eyes of hers.
You stuttered as you were looking for words to say.
"Y-your majesty. I understand you have called me here?"
"That is correct," Celestia's reply couldn't be simpler. "As you may know, the royal couple -- Princess Cadance and Shining Armor -- are celebrating their second anniversary together with another royal ball this year."
"Why yes. I am aware of that," your most honest response to date.
"Good. The ball shall be held here like last year, and I want to make sure that this entire room is spotless before the decorators arrive tomorrow evening, even at places nopony would ever look. Are you up to the task, my dear janitor?"
Before you instantly decided to say yes so you wouldn't disappoint her, your mind started to ponder the situation. One big-ass throne room, and one...you. Yeah...you didn't like those odds. So you decide to answer her question with your own.
"With all due respect, your majesty, wouldn't be better to get an entire team of cleaners to do the job instead of one lonely janitor? I mean, there's just one me. Doing this would require a little more than a wash rag and a bucket of water, don't you think?"
You were preparing for the most frequent response from Celestia. It would go a little something like this: "Nonsense! I know you are more than capable of handling this yourself. Now hurry and make this place shine before the day of the ball arrives!" Perhaps not as forceful as you would think, but you knew of Celestia's paper thin patience when it came to events like these.
Instead, though, you're given silence. You looked up at her again to see she was actually thinking about your question. For once in your new life, you managed to intrigue the princess of the sun. You could really see her using her brain on what you said.
You waited for a response, but all you got so far was her going,"hmmm," and tapping her index finger on her left cheek. After a good minute and a half, though, her eyes focused back on you and her lips began to move.
"I suppose for this occasion, I shall give you something to make your work easier ten times over."
You blinked twice to regain your attention to what she was saying. She was actually going to * help** you with this problem?*
"C-c-come again?" you stuttered once more.
"To disallow your effort from being pushed beyond your abilities, I bestow upon you this." Celestia's horn started to glow a golden yellow color as she pulled out one of her books beside her. In that sapphire crested book was a golden bracelet with gems of various color. She pulled it out and slowly sent it your way, where it landed in your open hands.
"This looks pretty shiny, buuut... what is it?" As always when it comes to seeing things you don't understand, you question it immediately.
"It is a very sacred bracelet, but should help you in your effort to make this place look like new again. Upon wearing it, it shall grant you the speed of a full grown cheetah, the flight of a well trained pegasus, and the reflexes of a slender mongoose!"
All of what Celestia said did sound awesome, but a part of you was worried that you would turn into a monstrous combination of the animals she said.
"Wow, thanks, your majesty!"
"But be warned, boy..." oh how rare she calls you 'boy'. "That bracelet is to be used for this particular job only. You must immediately return it to me when the job is done. Failure to do so could have serious consequences..."
"Liiiiike what?" you questioned.
Celestia opened her mouth as to say something but quickly shut it. She honestly had no idea what would happen. She just knew it was her sister's bracelet. So...she shrugged.
Wow. What a great build in confidence. I feel totally safe now, you couldn't express that thought with more sarcasm. But you would promise her that you will return it when done, for you were not really fond of what would happen if you didn't. There might be death involved. A lot of death.
"Fear not, your majesty! With this, I'll be able to get this whole place neat and tidy and you wouldn't even know the bracelet was gone when I'm done!" you said in the highest level of confidence.
With a sigh of relief, Celestia finally said,"Very well, janitor. I trust you take care of that artifact like it was your own child."
"Much obliged!" you said as you took one last bow and started to walk out of the throne room. But the princess stopped you before you could take more than five steps.
"I almost forgot. There's a package with your name on it."
"A what?"
Chapter 3: A Gift From No One
You stood there mildly puzzled for a minute or two, trying to put Celestia's words together, for they were bouncing around in your mind. Then you heard her majesty on her throne speak those same words to you, hopefully so you could hear it more clearly.
"Yes. A package with YOUR name on it strangely arrived in MY mailbox," she said with a more irritated tone.
Yeah. She didn't like getting mail that isn't hers, unless it was Luna's, in which she kindly opens them for her sister before actually 'giving' them to her. In short, Celestia's a bit of a Suzy Selfish. Well, you didn't want to start an argument with her, for you would surely lose. So, instead of signing your own death warrant, you decided to ask her about the package.
"A package for me? Who's it from?" you wondered who even remembered your name. Let's just say your popularity when you arrived came and went like a sugar rush. Heck, some even forgot you came to their world.
"That is unknown, fortunately. Either they forgot to write their name down on it or--" Celestia put her hand on her lips like the classy lady she always portrayed. Then her eyelids lowered and gave you a suspicious smirk. You wondered what she was thinking.
"Oh, you DOG ! You naughty, naughty, dog!" she said with a flirtatious expression with it ending on a giggle. Now you really wondered what she was thinking.
"Okay, now I'm confused," you admit-tingly said.
Calming herself a bit, she regained her compulsion to act like a proper princess and produce a sentence that one such would say.
"Right. It is quite possible that the pony who sent you this could be a secret admirer. Somepony who might have been smitten by your presence," she finally said.
Your heart jumped a beat after hearing those exact words. Not once anything is your secret admirer?" It was a question you had to answer later. Right now, you had important matters to deal with, like not drooling on the carpet for being zoned out for so long.
Celestia snapped her fingers again to regain your attention.
"A-a-a s-secret admirer?" you stuttered a response.
"Yes, that is what I said."
"Huh...any idea of who?"
Celestia's face deadpanned. That was indeed one of the dumbest questions you ever asked a princess. However, she decided to play along.
"Oh, it could be anypony, or anything for that matter. It might even be the wretched Queen Chrysalis, for all we know."
"I hope that last sentence was just you pulling my leg," because otherwise you would have some serious questions for her.
"Of course I was! Everypony knows she disappeared after she was defeated, and severely weak at that point. It would not be possible for her to even think about coming within a hundred miles of Ponyville or Canterlot. But if she did have the guts to come back to this land, I swear on my mother's life that I will PERSONALLY --"
"The package?" you said trying to get both you and the princess back on the subject at hand.
"Right. Sorry. Got a little carried away there for a moment. He he.."
You don't say...
"Anyway, I will be glad to give you this package..."
"Cool!"
"If you keep your promise to return that bracelet after you're done making this place as clean as it can be."
"Oh,"was what you said . What was going on in your mind was:
OH COME ON!! WE'RE AT THE HOME F*CKIN' STRETCH OF THIS BULLSH*T!!
Like it or not, you had no choice but to make said promise. You wanted to know what was at least in the package in order to actually care for it. So, taking one knee, posturing like an honorable knight, you raised your left hand and covered your chest with your right whilst holding the bracelet. Then you spoke.
"Your majesty, I solemnly swear on my mother's grave, that I shall return this bracelet right after I make this throne room completely spotless from the marble floors to the gorgeously painted ceilings above. I promise I will not fail you, princess of the sun."
A part of you was dying to just stand up with both arms in the air yelling,"PRAISE THE SUUUUUUN!!" but you were better than that...
"Then I grant you the possession of this unknown package, for only you to discover its treasures," Celestia said in her best princess voice. A part of her was glad to get rid of it. It wasn't HER mail, after all. Again, Suzy Selfish.
"Much obliged, princess," you said as you were getting up and tipping your hat to her.
"You are most welcome. Now go. I must attend to my studies," she said after getting up from her throne.
With both the bracelet and the package in your hands, you turned away from her and walked to the main corridors. It was then you saw a flash of yellow at the corner of your eye. You turned to see the princess of the sun was no longer there. Didn't surprise you though, for you knew of her teleporting abilities. She could be anywhere at anytime in Canterlot, though she would still need to take the train to Ponyville.
Giving a shrug, you continued your walk from the throne room to your bedroom.
Not a lot of ponies disturbed you much as you were walking. It was until one of the royal guard asked you about the package and wanted to inspect it. You had no choice in the matter. Denying inspections of packages would make you a suspect of having a bomb in your possession. It was at least a good thing these ponies believed in the word terrorism. You turned away from the package as he was checking it's contents. You wanted to be surprised when you yourself opened it.
After giving you the nod that you were all clear, he safely put all the stuff back in the box and let you be on your way. After a good five minutes, you finally arrived at your quarters. Opening the door, you placed the bracelet on the nightstand, your cleaning equipment at the far corner, and the package on your small bed. You removed your uniform to put on some more comfortable clothing; a shirt, some jean shorts, the summer works. Your attention now pointed to the box in the middle of your bed.
What was in it? you thought. Since you were now in possession of it, you were now at liberty to open it. So, removing the lid your jaw dropped and your brain stopped working upon seeing what was in the box.
...it was a tuxedo designed for YOU!
The one thing that you didn't have, the one thing that stopped you in your tracks to impressing Luna, the one thing that you NEEDED for the ball, was right there in front of your eyes!
You slowly and carefully picked up the torso part of the tux, looking at it from every angle you could see. The wool, black overcoat; the silky, milk-white collar button shirt; the smooth, charcoal bowtie; the oh-so-rarely-used-but-makes-the-man-look-more-handsome napkin in the pocket.
Yeah, this suit was legit.
What then caught your eye was a card on the floor that perhaps fell out the box after you pulled the suit out. You picked it up to see what seemed to be a note.
Consider your wish granted. Hopefully this will help you in your future attempts to get the mare of your dreams. Enjoy!
Sincerely,
Your Secret Admirer
Ah yes, your secret admirer. You almost forgot about who sent this to you. But you didn't care. All that mattered to you was the tuxedo lying on your bed. You could only stare at it, for there was not much to do other than that. You wanted to savor this moment...
...
"Well, are you going to put on your little tutu or what, you sissy ballerina!?"
You almost jumped a foot into the air upon hearing that voice. Only turning around to the voice was when you saw him.
"Oh no...not you again..."
Chapter 4: Twenty Bits Richer
You came into eye contact with your inner conscience, staring at you within your slightly cracked mirror, alerting you to his presence with his loud, grizzled, drill sergeant voice. You knew that he would be back when you needed him, but you didn't think it would be so soon on the same day. You wondered why he was here again, for you didn't feel like you needed him right now. So you asked the reflection...
"Oh, it's you again. Didn't think I would be seeing you twice on the same day," you said with a casual voice as you were beginning to sit down on the edge of your mattress, cautiously putting your newly found tuxedo to the side.
"What, you thought an inner conscience only appears once a day, you lily-livered f*ck!?" the reflection aggressively asked.
"You know what? Yeah, I did. Is that a problem for you?" you were aggressive back. You wanted to feel like you were in control. Although in a real world sense, it would be very unwise to talk back to a drill sergeant. But this was your inner conscience in a reflection you're talking to. Basically you're talking to you . You felt that you at least should have a saying in all this commotion.
The reflection responded,"I WOULD like to make a death threat to you for talking back to your conscience, but at least I remember my place and purpose, unlike YOU !"
You were slightly puzzled by what your reflection said.
"What are you talking about?" you asked.
"Think, what would happen if you DIDN'T go through that portal?"
It took you a few seconds to think of an answer,"I don't know, guess I'd still be with my friends and fam--" your last word dropped.Your eyes started to widen and your jaw slightly dropped as you discovered the horrid realization.
You couldn't go back to your friends and family. * You couldn't go back to Earth.***
Those words hit you like a taser to the chest. You've been living in Equestria for a good four weeks and that never hit you before it was too late. Now you looked down to the cold, cracked floor, feeling as though you were going to cry. Then your reflection spoke again.
"Son, if I were there, I would've told you to turn back and walk away from that portal. I really would've," he said, trying to at least give you the confidence that dropped and shattered to the ground like a priceless vase.
"So why didn't you?" you nearly choked on those words, as the sides of your eyes began to emanate tears.
"Two things: 1. I'm only able to speak to you via reflections, which there wasn't any puddle or mirror where the portal was..."
The reflection had a point. The day you found it was in the woods you lived nearby, and it was a fairly dry day.
"...2. Even if I were to show up, you wouldn't listen. Your curiosity was at it's peak at that time. There was nothing I could do to stop you from entering that portal."
You started to wipe away the would-be tears from your face before they even began to roll down your cheeks and sniffled one time.
"But enough of that drama, it's time to get to the real matter at hand," the reflection said, as he pointed to something next to you."The real reason I appeared was to tell you about that monkey suit on your bed."
"What about it?" you asked.
"Do you even KNOW who sent it to you?"
You shrugged.
"Look at that card again and see who it's from."
You picked up the card from the empty box the tux came from and read aloud the last two lines of it.
Sincerely,
Your Secret Admirer
"Now who exactly would BE this 'secret admirer'?" the reflection asked you.
"I don't know. It could be anypony for all I know," you said in an honest response.
"Exactly," he said.
"Wait. I'm still confused..." you had no idea what he was getting at.
The reflection groaned at your oblivious face and clarified for you,"Listen with those flippers you call ears, son. What I'm trying to get at here is that there is somepony out there WATCHING you!"
Now that indeed was a scary thought. You never liked the thought of someone watching you from afar. It would always make you feel tense and frightened. One time on Earth, you felt like somebody was watching you as you were heading home. You were so paranoid, that when a friend of yours tapped you on the shoulder, you did not hesitate to land a fist on his face, knocking out some teeth and breaking his nose. You were like an unsuspecting horse when someone comes up behind you. You wondered if you and your friend were still square. But back to the important matter at hand. You responded to the reflection's claim...
"Well, I guess I'll have to watch my back then. So is that all you wanted to talk about, or is there more on your plate that needs to be served?" You wanted to get anything important taken care of so that the reflection won't have to pop up at random, giving you a near heart attack.
"There is one more thing, yes," the reflection admitted. He then pointed back to the tux on your bed."It's about that tux over there."
"What about the tux!?" you said in a slightly aggravated tone, for this was the second time he mentioned your fancy new tuxedo.
"Is that ALL you're going to have at the ball? How are you going to woo the mare of your dreams (no pun intended) with only that piece of cotton and silk!? You're going to need to present yourself a lot more if you want Luna to even notice you!"
"What do you mean?"
"Cologne, breath spray, hair gel, hair cut , nail clippers! Need I go on!?"
"I-I-I-I-I think you got your point across, thanks," you said as you were trying to silence the mild ringing in your ears from the yelling the reflection was giving you.
"But wait," you began to question."How am I supposed to get all this stuff in one day? Even with the pay I'm getting, I still can't afford the products within the Canterlot area."
"Oh really, is that so? Well, SOMEBODY better check their nightstand drawer!" the reflection said, pointing to it on the left side of your bed.
Without talking back, you went ahead and opened the drawer and was amazed to discover what was in it. It was a small bag of bits. However these weren't just any bits. Oh no, they were a higher form of currency known as blutes . These were sapphire gems that are equal to nearly a thousand bits! Very rare, and the only currency that is Canterlot-restricted, blutes are for the high paying kind of ponies that insists you keep the change. Only ever few ponies possessed these rare minerals, and yet here they were in a bag, in your nightstand drawer, in your small room. Speaking of which...
"Well, I certainly don't remember having this in my drawer. Wondered how they got here..." you began to ponder how this bag of rare gems just happened to end up in your room. You started to grow suspicious. It was then you saw a card on the end of the string attached to the bag. Maybe that would give you the answer. You carefully removed it and examined it. It was another note from your secret admirer, which read:
I knew that my previous gift wouldn't be enough to please whom you seek. Perhaps this will further aid your attempts to find 'the one.' I do not ask for anything in return. Just your appreciation.
Sincerely,
Your Secret Admirer
Now you really began to get curious as to who this secret admirer character might be, and how she managed to do all this for you. But the reflection came in and stopped your thinking process.
"Well, would you look at that!? Seems that you have enough to get the things you'll need to impress the princess of the night!"
"Yeah, I guess I do. But I'll have to do it Thursday after I'm done cleaning the throne room. Doing it today wouldn't be such a good choice on my part," you said.
"Fair enough, but there is ONE thing you'll need today..."
"What?" you wondered. The reflection then pointed to the shattered remains of what used to be your clock. You almost completely forgot about that. You still needed one to wake up in time for work, even though the ringing drives you up the wall. "Oh yeah..." you finally said.
So, grabbing a bit of bits from the top of the dresser and getting your shoes on, you began to head out so you could get yourself a new clock that hopefully will last more than a day. But before opening the door, you turned to the reflection and asked him a question.
"Hey, do you think I'll run into my secret admirer on the way to the shop?" you honestly said that to joke around, but you at least wanted an answer from him.
"I'm your inner conscience, son. I know as much as you know," he replied.
You shrugged as you headed out from your room and out to the 'great outdoors' to....the Canterlot Plaza.
Upon the door to your room closing, the reflection returned to the mirror with a smirk and ,with his voice changing, he said,"Actually, I tend to know a lot more than you know..." He then blinked, his eyes now yellow with red pupils. Perhaps your inner conscience isn't your inner conscience after all...
Chapter 4.5: The Mare With Emerald Eyes
The rays of the late afternoon sun was piercing through the enormous and colorful glass pane windows of the Canterlot hallways. The warmth from the air delivered a simultaneous sensation of peace and relaxation upon anypony who were to walk into the light. The birds continued their tweets and chirps while the bees were finishing up pollinating the many flowers across the grassy fields in hopes of more nectar the next day. The sunny part of the day was nearing its end, for the princess of the sun scheduled it to be over early, for fall was on its way. She hopes it will be another great season for the ponies to set up their autumn products and bundle up for the chill of the breeze that fall will deliver.
It was about that time that most of the royal guard headed to the Canterlot Mess Hall, while the rest tripled their vigilance in detecting anything suspicious. One mare was on her way to the mess hall to get a well-deserved meal. After a long day of standing there...and doing...well, nothing, she felt like she earned it. Yeah, there isn't much to do in the royal guard other than just standing at attention and pretending to be awake.
The mare's looks were eccentric, even with all the armor plating on her uniform. Her charcoal black and Caribbean green striped mane was like silk, even when it was tied up into a ponytail, because of regulations. You could see the shine off it if you were to view it in the moonlight. Her body of an ash gray color would glisten from the sun's beams hitting her open areas, but unfortunately, not where you wished.
Remember, regulations...
The mare's curves were more than capable of pleasing the eyes of even the most orderly of colts. Her eyes of emerald could look at you and reveal your innermost secrets. Her breasts looked like they would pop out the front of her chest armor, which is made of some really stern stuff. But all that fades when you get a full view of her plump, round, keister. Armor or no, that flank was poppin'. It looked like you could rest on those oven buns and she wouldn't notice. It would make you wonder how she isn't a princess herself.
And of course she had a name, but her's was an enigma of sorts. You wouldn't know why, but you'd have the strangest feeling that she was something...different.
Lunamme
Weird name, for sure, but it surprisingly fits her personality. She wasn't that much of a talkative person, but she felt like the kind of pony you could count on in battle. Somepony whom you know would always have your back. But she was not that at all...
Lunamme was never in battle, nor was she ever awarded a medal or a badge. Well, it would make sense given that she is still a lieutenant. Yet somewhere in those boobers, there was a warrior, willing to die for her highness. Maybe one day she'll get the chance to taste a battle in her life. But right now, she wanted the taste of fresh salad and pure crystal water.
Back to reality, she walked down the sun-drenched hallway, carrying her helmet on her right hip, but suddenly stopped at the sound of a familiar voice, one that could belong only to a being who once preferred...chaos.
"And where exactly do you think YOU'RE going, m'lady?" Discord said in almost a whisper.
Lunamme stood there and looked at her surroundings, wondering where that dragon-goat...thing was hiding. Sweat began running down from her brow to the side of her cheek. Her heart feeling like it was going to burst out her chest.
Then there he was--well, his eyes technically--staring at her with those lemon yellow eyes and red irises that could stare into your soul and rip it out from your body. However, that would be the opposite of him, for he was a good guy, although he tends to have his own fun time again and again. He had to do something to get out of Fluttershy's house and away from Angel. He can't forgive him for what he made him do with the carrots. Bad times.....
Discord stared at Lunamme, waiting for an answer, but it was for naught. She didn't move her lips. All she did was stare back.
So, Discord continued on,"I do hope that it has nothing to do with a certain somepony, or something might go horribly wrong for the both of you!" he said in a fake horrified expression. His eyes kept floating around her. "I mean, think about it. What does that being have that no other colt possesses?" he questioned.
Lunamme's head tilted slightly forward. She was thinking of a good response to tell him, until the next thing he said, that is.
"Well, if you don't have an answer, then perhaps his inner conscience could explain to him who sent him those gifts."
Her heart skipped a beat as her right ear twitched upon hearing those words. Her eyes burst open wide and looked back at Discord who formed a grin under his eyes.
"Alright then. You enjoy your supper while I have a few words with him ," he said as he turned around and started to float away from Lunamme. But then a word escaped her lips in almost a shout, but not loud enough for anypony down the halls to hear.
"Courage!" she said with the most velvet voice one could ever hear. Discord's eyes slowly turned back to her, intrigued.
"Is it possible you could repeat that word, please?" he said with that same grin on his face.
She had realized what she had said, but wanted to stick to her beliefs about you. So she replied.
"H-h-he has courage, as do I," she stuttered a bit.
Discord's grin literally faded and his left eyebrow raised a slight bit.
"Hmm. I see," he said in an interested tone. "Well, if that's the case, then I'll leave him to you." Discord was just about to fade away, but decided to say one final sentence before departing.
"After all, I'm sure the insect queen
Lunamme stood there frozen in place, sweating more frantically than before. Her heart was thumping like a hammer against a nail. Her breathing sounded like she was hyperventilating. She was completely zoned out by what Discord said before leaving. Those words were engraved in her brain, and would never go away. She didn't know how she would reveal herself to you, nor how you would feel about the encounter. For now, she still had to remain discreet about the gifts given to you. For it would defeat the purpose of being...
Your Secret Admirer
The Canterlot Plaza, the place where you would find only the most refined and wealthy ponies imaginable. Usually you would see the same bunch of rich folk walking around the plaza, going to the fanciest of shops, buying the most expensive products they can. One time, you saw a gentle-colt dumping twenty thousand bits on a new top hat . You felt like these wealthy ponies were just rubbing it in, boasting about how rich they are, but some were actually nice to talk to, which is a rare occasion. Here in Canterlot, when these ponies talk to each other, they either talk about business, the economy, or literally just money.
Oh, money was a nonstop subject you would hear from nearby gentle-colts and couples. You honestly felt sorry for them. You felt like they were cooped up here, never setting foot outside of it, even for family matters. You didn't think that rich people were selfish. However, you did think that they were absolutely bored with their lives. They just have nowhere to go that isn't further up the food chain. You doubted that they even heard of a farm or a candy shop. Poor bastards....
Guess that's how the rich people live , you thought.
You were going through the plaza with your hands in the pockets of your jean shorts while wearing your favorite white penny tee and walking in your old flip flops, looking for the clockwork shop that you constantly had to visit because you can't seem to unleash your anger on anything else other than your alarm clock. The sun was pouring warmth onto the back of your neck and legs, and you could see your shadow stretched along the smooth brick floor, imitating the moves you were making. You weren't really a summer person, but the warm air did feel good. It wasn't too scorching and the breeze kept it cool. You often referred the outside breeze as "Mother Nature's air conditioner."
Today was indeed a good day to be out. Not a lot of clouds in the sky and the few that were there were small or thin, although you did remember the big ass storm that the weather patrol was going to create tomorrow. But that was the least of your worries right now. You had to get a new alarm clock.
Not only that, but you were thinking of what your inner conscience said to you. The requirements to wooing the princess of the moon. You wondered if these things were really what you needed to do so. Made you thought your conscience was just joking around, but you're reminded of the seriousness in his tone upon saying it. So you went down the list in your mind:
Tuxedo: Check
Cologne: Not check
Breath spray: Not check
Hair gel: Not check
Hair cut: Not check
Nail clippers: Not check
Well, one out of six items isn't so bad. Least you got one of the tough parts out of the way. You were going to get these items tomorrow, anyway, so there's no need to worry about them now.
Oh...right...tomorrow.
You almost forgot about the other thing you had to do tomorrow. You had to make the throne room spotless for Cadance and Armor's anniversary ball on Friday. Now you began to wonder about the time it was going to take you to clean that enormous empty room. It would seem easy, if you exclude the ginormous pillars, the large-ass glass pane windows, the impossibly hard-to-reach ceiling, and the delicate nature of Celestia's throne. You did have the golden bracelet given to you by her highness to make it a little more easy, but you just hoped that was an understatement. Even with that magical item, you felt like it was going to take you well too long to get it done and have time to get all the items required for your chance with Luna at the ball. Not only that, but you were worried about what would happen if you wore the bracelet, for the princess of the sun did not know of any side effects that could be life-threatening. Only time will tell...
Well, it was time your head got back to reality and your eyes to start bringing the images back into your head, like the well dressed colt that's headed right towards you--oh boy.
BAM!
With no warning from the both of you, you and the colt fell flat on your bums and began rubbing that pink spot on your forehead. Moaning and feeling like you were going to pass out, the both of you started to regain your clearing vision and you were the one to start apologizing.
"Ah, sorry man. I didn't know where I was walking," you said as you were still rubbing that spot on your forehead like it was actually going to do anything. Sorry, it just doesn't.
"Well, you should KNOW better than to bump into the PRINCE of Canterlot, you unholy scab!"
That voice...you've heard it before, but you wanted to pray to the pony gods that it wasn't him . You slowly raised your head as did he, and there you saw the tormentor of poor ponies before you. Your eyes didn't betray you, for it was indeed him. The narcissist, the self-lover, the spoiled rich kid in every wealthy family movie. People like you would refer to him as a snobby prick, but here, the ponies knew him only as...
Prince Blueblood
Oh, man, where to start with this guy. In the best words to describe him, he's a very narcissistic pretty colt with nothing to show for but his masculine cologne, garments you feel like he's wearing the same of everyday, and a puffy attitude if there's anything not relating to him. However, he was a very handsome one as well, you couldn't deny that. His mane looked like he had just gotten out of the shower, his body looked chiseled on every part, and his teeth were as bright as the sun and as white as fresh snow. But, back to the puffy attitude mentioned earlier. This guy has a pretty nasty temper when it comes to situations involving him. He wants to make sure everything goes his way, or else. Alas, he's all bark and no bite. When Blueblood is in control of the situation, he wants the others to know that he is. But if the tables turn on him, he shatters like a box of fragile wine glasses tumbling down the stairs.
Yeah, this colt's a pretty big wimp, and that's saying something.
Anyway, you and the prince stared at each other until you both turned your head in disgust. You were not friends, but then again, who would be when it comes to Blueblood? You were the one to get up first, and you couldn't tell if it was guilt or just a common courtesy thing controlling your body, but you offered the prince a helping hand up. First time you ever offered assistance to someone you hate, and it felt weird. It felt...somewhat good.
What happened next was weirder. He actually accepted your offer, which was a first for him . You helped him up and brushed his shoulders for some apparent reason, but that's were the caring stopped, because he immediately slapped your arm away ,shouting,"Don't touch me!" You put your hands back to the pockets of your shorts as you asked the "beloved" prince a simple question.
"So, what are you doing here, prince? Some mare owe you some tail or something?" you said with a slight chuckle under your breath. You always wondered who this colt hasn't smashed lately. Probably that charm of his that always seems to get a mare in bed with him, including Rarity one time.
Blueblood tried to look as refined as possible as he responded to your question,"Well, if you must know, peasant, I have been called up to the throne room by the one and only Princess Celestia. Something of important business that someone like you wouldn't understand in the slightest."
Really...
You wanted to dust what he said off your shoulder as nonsense, but it instead sparked your curiosity, so you wanted to know more of this "important business."
"Oh, sure I will. I can take it. Come on, what this 'business' your so keen on getting to?"
Blueblood just laughed to himself at your supposed stupidity."You could read every word in the dictionary, and you STILL wouldn't know what I'm talking about! Ahh, humans..."
Well, so much for the peaceful approach to the subject. Now you had to bring out the big guns and force it out of him. You knew what to say next. So with a nasty smirk, you said...
"At least I don't take advantage of mares while they're drop-to-the-floor drunk after a big ball. Too bad I can't say the same for you."
Blueblood's smile was gone in an instant and a glare to you appeared in his sapphire eyes. He knew what you were talking about and he wanted you to shut up. Yet you continued on.
"Poor Rarity. Still doesn't remember what happened that night she got hammered and 'hammered'. Oh, if only someone were to tell her the truth..."
The prince was now grasping your shirt by the collar, his breathing more intense, and his eyes aflame with hate. He managed to produce words, even with how much anger was inside him at the moment.
"You swore...you wouldn't tell ANYPONY about that night! You. SWORE ."
Unlike him, you were keeping your cool and responded in regards to his hot breath and spit hitting your face.
"What makes you think I did? You think I'm that kind of person/pony that would break a promise? Ahah, no. Your little incident is still safe with me. Though I'm not sure about how you're going to explain with what your doing RIGHT NOW..."
It was then Blueblood looked away from you and began to see almost all the ponies who stopped in their tracks to stare at the colt manhandling an innocent human. Felt like he wasn't going to break out the jam he was in, but you remembered the previous times he was in jams like this. He always seems to find an excuse to break out of a situation, and it actually working. So, putting you down, he laughed nervously and began to form the perfect sentences for this predicament.
"Oh, uhh. We were just rehearsing...a-a-a scene......err....from a play! Yeah! A play! I-i-i-i-t's a VERY dramatic scene, as you may have seen. That'll just m-m-make the play that much more interesting! Don't you think? He he he..."
You didn't know what was more outrageous, Blueblood's "innocent" acting, or the fact that the other ponies bought it and moved on. One even said to us,"Good luck!" as she was walking by. Honestly, you don't know how he does it.
Regardless, the subject remained at hand between the two of you. You still wanted to know at least what the meeting with Celestia's all about with the prince.
"Now that that's out of the way, can I have my answer? Or should we 'rehearse the scene' again?" you asked re-adjusting your shirt and dusting off your shoulders.
Blackmail was the one thing you didn't like doing unless the one your doing it to is a total douche, which was Blueblood in this case. Anyone else though, it would be the last thing you'd want to think about. This, however, was a special case. If everypony knew about the prince having sex with the element of generosity while she was passed out drunk, he could kiss his title goodbye as well as his career. He didn't want none of that. It would be a secret forever lost if you didn't peek through the slightly open door of the prince's quarters that night. You would've told everyone right off the bat if you weren't so merciful. You felt like everybody deserved a second chance, even when they really
screwed the pooch.
Or in this case, Rarity.
It didn't take long for Blueblood to succumb to your request and decided to give you the answer, seeing no way out of this situation. That's the one thing he hated about you. Always using his secret as your trump card when you want something from him. He couldn't have anything else to counter it; pretty much a duel he could not win so long as you had his secret in your hands.
"Fine, fine. The truth is I pretty much have no idea why the princess of the sun called me up to the throne room. She's really uptight about private business falling into the wrong hands. I just hope it's not for the reason we both think. Heaven knows how many colts she had the past millennium, even in her teenage years," he shuddered at the thought of how open those pink lips might have been after so many colts big and small being in her. Then you started to get the same feeling. Gross.
"So that's all you know, then?" you said, seeing if you could get more information out of the prince. Jeez, it felt like you both were in an interrogation room and you're the cop who's pretty shoddy at his job.
Blueblood only nodded and proceeded to walk the opposite direction of where you were walking and making his way towards the main palace. He then stopped, only to say one more thing to you before meeting the princess. Felt like he was almost about to puke upon saying the words.
"And if you ever see Rarity, tell her that I'm....sorry for all that I did to her all these years. That way she still won't know the incident."
Now that was a shocker. Not once in his entire life has Prince Blueblood ever apologized to anypony he's ever met. Technically this was no different, but you did feel like he wanted to change. Deep down, you saw somepony who was unhappy and wanted, no...needed
Although a part of you denied that fully with no question. Still, you had hope for him.
It took you a solid ten seconds to think about it, until you finally nodded to Blueblood's request. With a slight smile on his face, the prince continued his journey, as did you. Now with that out of the way, you were able to pursue the task of getting another alarm clock.
But for some reason you felt uneasy. You didn't know why, but you had this weird feeling in your gut. You haven't felt this way in a while, but when you did, you remembered the sweating, the eyes darting back and forth, the heart beating more rapidly. Then the feeling was recognized just as quickly as it came.
Somepony was following you...
Chapter 6: Working For Scale
Sweat was trickling down your cheeks. Your heart was beating at a rapid pace. Your eyes were wide open and darting back and forth. Your ears amplified the sound of close footsteps that are right behind you. You didn't know who it was, but you wanted him or her to back off or they'll get some of your karate that you learned from some old Luce Bree movies. Yet the footsteps were getting louder and louder, as was your heartbeat. It always that one feeling you hate happening to you. One that happened to you occasionally when you were back on Earth.
It was the feeling of being followed.
It was strange, because this feeling didn't really happen to you during the first weeks after your arrival to Equestria. Sure there was your secret admirer, but she or (hopefully not) he is in the file of people watching you, which you believed was slightly different from someone following you. But back to the matter at hand.
Your paranoia was skyrocketing. Your hands were shaking in your pockets. You felt like you were losing breath; like your were going to throw up. Then it was like everything stood still when you felt a tap-tap on your right shoulder. Without hesitation, you yanked out your right hand and then quickly spun 180 degrees to your follower, ready to chop his/her neck and render them unconscious. Your hand stopped only centimeters from the neck of a familiar face. Then your eyes gained focus on the person, realizing that it wasn't a person. You noticed the purple scales, the emerald eyes, the long tail, and the nervous voice.
"W-w-whoa man! Take it easy! It's me!" It took a few seconds to realize who it was. It was your best friend, your brother from another mother, the..well..only purple dragon to exist in Ponyville...
"Oh, Spike, it's just you," you said with a sigh of relief as you took your hand away from his neck.
You and him have been real good friends for a couple of weeks, mainly because of Twilight dragging him along to the Canterlot Plaza to gather some products for her assignments. You didn't want to admit it, but the teen years on Spike looked really good on him. Wasn't a few months ago that he was about two-thirds your height. You once peeked through a book whilst dusting the shelves in the Royal Library about dragons and how their age rate is faster than ponies. That bit of information was all you could understand from that book. The rest was how they mated and the birth rate and other things you didn't want to get into.
Spike's personality didn't change a bit, but his outward appearance sure did. He went from wearing a plain t-shirt and shorts to chains, overcoats and pants. You felt like it suited him well. It was nice to see him again, but then something came to mind.
"Wait. It's just you?"
Spike wiped the sweat from his forehead and answered your concerning question with a small sigh.
"Yeah, it's me. T-t-that's not weird or anything, is it?"
"Oh no, not at all. It's just that normally I see you here with Twilight running some errands. Speaking of which, where is she exactly?"
"She's been REALLY busy with all the assignments given to her by Princess Celestia, she doesn't have time to even have a simple breakfast in the morning. It's been really exhausting for her and the same for ME . Not a day goes by now that I get a break from having to burp out scroll after scro--"
It was then Spike started to look like he was choking on something. His stomach began to swell; tears building up on the side of his eyes; his cheeks becoming crimson in color. Then, with one loud (and rather impressive) belch, a small green flame erupted from his mouth, and then that flame emanated into a small scroll, wrapped in a crimson ribbon and sealed with a golden patch with a sun on it. No doubt it was from Celestia. The scroll then landed in his open palm. Spike set aside two small coughs into his left arm whilst putting away the scroll in his pocket.
"See what I mean, man? I don't know what Celestia's been making Twilight do with all these assignments, but I don't even think this is healthy for me to keep burping these scrolls out," he said wiping away the would-be tears from his eyes and letting out one more small cough. He wanted to continue on the conversation of what you and him were doing here in the Plaza.
"Anyway, what are you doing here at this hour? I thought your shift doesn't end till dusk," he wondered.
"Well, I managed to get everything cleaned up today, so I was able to get off early. All I know is that my work today will seem like child's play tomorrow because of the REAL task given to me by her highness."
"Really now? What's the princess of the sun have you doing now? Scrubbing the bathroom tiles with a toothbrush? Sanitizing the sauna? Removing every bit of lint from the carpet in the dining room?" Spike was throwing guesses left and right at you. You didn't know how to approach the job given to you, so you decided to say it straight-up.
"Cleaning the entire throne room from the floor to the ceiling," you said puffing your chest to pretend you were as manly as Big Mac (and failing). However, the response was what you expected from your purple-scaled friend.
"No. Way. Are you for real?" Spike said with his jaw slightly agape at what you have said, yet he continued to know about how it is even possible for a human like you to accomplish such a task. "B-b-but how will you even do something like that? Surely the princess can't assume you are capable of cleaning the entire throne room all by yourself!" He wanted to deny it, but the bells of truth still rang in his ears, and you were about to ring them again with what you said next.
"Oh, she assumed alright. But of course, she didn't want to make it near impossible for me to do this job. She gave me this, uhh..." your words trailed off as to what you were about to say could be dangerous to tell anyone. It now felt like a very dirty secret that you had to keep from telling anyone . Reminds you of your neighbor back on Earth who was paranoid that the government was watching his every move, and pretty much everything that existed was a trick.
You never really did get acquainted with that guy. Thank God you didn't.
However, you had to say something to Spike of how you were going to pull off cleaning the throne room all by your lonely self. You didn't know whether to tell him the truth or sugarcoat it with a small fib. He was your best friend after all, but you heard about Chrysalis and her ability to disguise. It was at this point you couldn't tell who you could trust anymore.
ARRRGH! Snap OUT of it, man! your mind yelled, arguing with itself, Spike's practically your brother. Besides, he'll think you made the whole thing up if you don't tell him * something*. Now think. Think. Think!
Your mind pondered for a moment to think of the right words to put together, and then you had an idea: blur the image. You were going to tell him what item you are given to use in order to clean the throne room from top to bottom, but you weren't going to go into detail about said item. So, gathering yourself after that moment of awkward silence, your lips finally began to move.
"She gave me this...special trinket. Hopefully it'll be of great help in my task to making the throne room spotless. For I need that place clean before the big ball," you managed to keep your sentences from falling apart, although there was a bit of sweat trickling down from your sideburns, but you didn't think Spike saw that. He then put his index finger on his lips and resting his left elbow on his right hand, taking the information given to him by you and checked to see if all what you said was the truth. The one thing bothering him though was the lack of detail given about the "special trinket" you said. So, stubborn as he was now, he asked you about it.
"Special trinket, huh? What KIND of trinket, might I ask? Sorry, curiosity is at its peak right now."
You didn't know what to make of that question. You couldn't tell him everything about the bracelet, for then he'll want to see it for himself. You had no choice but to hide the info from him by making sure the image stays blurred for him.
"Well, th-th-the thing is...I can't really tell you what it is. For that would break my promise to Celestia."
Spike's eyes widened a bit at what you had said. He knew that making any promise with either princess would mean any and all ponies alike should back off from the subject. For Lord knows what would happen if anypony found out about the promise you kept. Banishment from Equestria would come to mind for most, and it certainly did for Spike. Sweat began to trickle down from the side of his face.
"Oh, why didn't you say so? If I had known about your promise to the princess of the sun, I would've gotten off that subject minutes ago. Sorry if I was being nosy. Didn't think you made a promise on such a high level."
Yeah no...you didn't.
You knew what you said scared him off the subject, which means you're able to keep the know how about the bracelet between you and Celestia. You wanted to let out a huge sigh of relief, but you had to look like you were maintaining control of the conversation. So you held it in and said to your friend...
"Oh, it's fine. Nothing to worry about, really. You were just curious. That's all. There's no harm with being a little curious about something, excluding the promise to the princess, of course."
"Right, right," Spike said with a nervous chuckle, wiping away the small beads of sweat from his head.
You then realized that you two had spent a good while on what you yourself was going to do tomorrow. So now you wanted to hear your friends side of the conversation. You then popped the question, trying to avoid anything that would make the situation more awkward than it already was.
"A-A-Anyway...what brings you to the Plaza? Twilight got you doing errands while she works on the many assignments given to her?"
Spike quickly realized why he was here and responded just as fast,"Oh, right! I was supposed to go get some rubies and emeralds from a nearby jewelry store so she can practice focusing her magic or something. Luckily, I know the shop owner there, and she owes me a favor after what happened last Thursday. Gotta feel sorry for the husband. "
"O-O-Okay then. Unnecessary information, but thanks anyway for the info," your eyes looked away from your friend for a moment.
Spike then blushed after realizing that last sentence that slipped out. "Hehe, sorry. Spoke my mind there. Happens sometimes.."
It was then you realized you actually still had somewhere to go. You were still on your quest to get another alarm clock. So you intervened on the subject.
"Speaking of stores, I actually need to get to the clockwork shop further down the Plaza. Think they're gonna close in an hour, so I should get going."
"Yeah, me too," Spike said, rubbing the back of his scaly mo-hawk.
"So...it was nice talking to ya."
"Likewise"
A whole minute passed by while the two of you were avoiding each other's eyes. Neither of you wanted to say another word, because it was going to get weirder and weirder if the conversation continued on any further. So you decided to make the first move and began to walk the other way. Spike followed your plan and started walking away as well. The two of you waved each other goodbye and you were heading off to the clockwork shop.
Fifteen minutes later...
Upon passing the two doors of the clockwork shop, one of the doors being open, a wealthy couple heard a loud yell coming from the front of the counter and began to speed off to avoid whatever's going on there. The only thing they heard from that ruckus was you screaming...
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T HAVE ANY MORE ALARM CLOCKS!? "
Chapter 6.5: Running Like Clockwork
Fifteen minutes ago...
The most recent customer has left the clockwork shop, exiting through the left side of the double doors, leaving the shop completely empty. No pony was at the counter, behind the register, or looking at the many variations of clocks, big and small, short and tall. The only pony at the shop was the owner, Father Time.
The colt didn't look at all old, aside from the few silver stripes of hair running down his charcoal black mane, it being combed back. His skin was a slight tanning brown, which fit his moderate body shape. His sky blue eyes would tell you that you could trust him, rely on him. The one feature that really stood out, though, was his sexy mustache-beard combo. It wouldn't surprise you for a moment that those pieces of facial hair are the reason that most of his customers that come in are mares who wish to purchase a clock, mainly to see him and his luscious mustache and beard.
Thank goodness he doesn't cause a lot of divorces with that thing.
Now Father time would usually be found behind the register, wearing is work apparel that consisted of a light blue collared shirt, a grease-covered apron with pockets for his tools, and tan cargo pants. However, he had a pretty big order to fill out. It was for a father of two spoiled foals, who wanted (well demanded, really) a vintage coo-coo clock studded with gems and diamonds. So, he was at his workshop in the back of the store, working ever so diligently on the piece of fine craftsmanship, making sure to put every bit of detail into it. To Father Time, clocks were his art pieces, and he was about the make the Mona Lisa of them all.
However, the colt's progress was put to a hold when he heard the bell chime at the shop's entrance.
A customer? At this hour? He thought. Normally, no pony would come in the clockwork shop when it's nearing closing time. To have a customer come in this late was oddly suspicious. However, Father Time could not turn down a customer, and he never did during his time working here. So, gently placing the latest diamond on the clock he was working on, he sat up from the stool he was sitting on, put his tools into the front pockets of his apron, and began to walk towards the front counter of the shop.
"Why hello! Welcome to my..." his words trailed off after seeing who entered the shop. The stranger was wearing a dark blue hoodie with the hood up, black jeans, and having its hands in its hoodie's pockets. Father Time couldn't quite make the face of the shady character, but it looked like a male unicorn to him, possibly in his late teenager years. His skin was like an aqua-marine green, almost similar to Lyra's. The front of his mane looked ashy gray. No clue on what his eyes looked like. These details were important to the owner, just in case the stranger was going to plan anything suspicious.
"...shop," he finished saying after slowing his pace towards the register.
The colt approached the front counter towards Father Time, his head looking down at the wooden floorboards of the shop, avoiding to look at the owner's face for some particular reason. This made the owner sweat a little bit, but not too noticeable. Taking in a small gulp, Father Time spoke to the hooded unicorn.
"So, uhh... what sort of clock are you looking for today, my good man? I got father clocks, coo-coo clocks, standard alarm clocks--" the owner was cut short after seeing the figure suddenly jerk his head toward him. Now, he could see the details of the stranger's face, and it made him sweat even more.
The colt's left eye was completely whited out with a vertical scar going over it, all the way down to his lower jaw. No iris, no pupil, no nothing. His right eye, however, looked fine, with a golden-yellow iris looking at him from across the counter. The front of his long mane swerved to the left of his face, possibly to cover his scarred eye. Then, the colt's lips began to move and form words from his "hot teenage boy" voice.
"I'll take an alarm clock," the hooded figure said, still staring at the owner. Stuttering, Father Time began to form words of his own.
"V-v-very well, then. Which one?"
It was then the colt's arms started to move from his hoodie's pockets. In his hands were two medium sized sacks of blutes. He proceeded to drop them on the counter with a sound thud of coins.
"All of them," said the hooded colt.
Father Time just stood there motionless. His mind was pondering the situation of what was going on right now.
A hooded stranger just placed an order for * all** of my alarm clocks...Is this normal?* He thought while staring at the two sacks of blutes on his front counter. His lips were trying to move, but they still remained at bay. He didn't know what to think of the situation laid before him. That's the most money he has ever gotten in one order, but he was puzzled of why the stranger wanted all the alarm clocks in the shop. So, he asked the colt....
"S-s-s-so, what are you planning to do with all the alarm clocks if the deal is sealed, then?" he said, beginning to wipe sweat trickling down his forehead.
The colt quickly responded,"It's for charity, to those who can't afford a clock and run a tight schedule. Mothers, business colts, pastry chefs, you know."
Father Time wanted to continue to ask questions, but the one fact not a lot of his customers or family members know is that deep down that solid shell of a manly colt, there was a chicken controlling the entire thing. He may be a bit of a coward, but what he lacks in courage, he makes up for with his enhanced common sense. He knows trouble when he sees it, and he prefers not to get sucked up into it. That's the same feeling he's having with the stranger in front of him. He fears if he continued on, he might get made, and he'd rather keep his skin attached to his body.
So, wiping off even more sweat from his forehead, he nodded and grabbed a large crate big enough to hold all the alarm clocks the stranger bought. He carefully put each one into the crate and made sure all of them were organized correctly and stacked up perfectly. The owner then sealed the top with hammer and nails and patted the crate signaling that it was ready to go.
"Well, there you go. All of the alarm clocks in this store in one, tightly-sealed crate. I sure hope that those poor ponies down there get a good wake up call with these things so they can get a better handle on their schedules!" Father Time said with a few sighs. He then grabbed the sacks of blutes and put them under the register so he can count them later.
"Thank you," said the hooded colt. His horn glowed a gold color as he uses his magic to lift the crate from the counter and proceeded to exit the shop. That was until Father Time decided to pull a risky move and ask one more question to the colt.
"Sorry to hinder your progress of exiting this premise, but may I ask the name of the colt who bought all the alarm clocks in this store?"
The colt slowly turned his left shoulder towards the owner and answered his question in almost a whisper.
"Ion... "
Chapter 7: Clocked Out (Pt. 1)
Present time...
"And then he just walked off with the crate full of alarm clocks I sold to him without saying another word," said the owner of the clockwork shop, Father Time, finishing his explanation of what happened to all of them. "And that's all I know up to this point, son."
You were suspicious of this predicament. What kind of pony would just walk in here, buy all of the alarm clocks available, and just walk off with them like it was nothing unusual? Something in your gut says sabotage, but if it were so, then why? So far as you know, you didn't have any beef with anypony in Equestria, aside from Blueblood, whom you feel is trying to redeem himself for his mistakes. Maybe there's somepony out there who was envious of you? Just thinking about all this made your brain hurt. Right now, you wanted to get to the bigger situation at hand, like how were you going to wake up on time without an alarm clock to annoyingly --but effectively-- get you up and about? You asked the owner for alternatives...
"Is there any way that you can be able to construct another alarm clock before midnight? I need one to help me get off my butt and into my uniform."
Unfortunately, the answer you got was one you did not want.
"Even if I had the parts to make another one, I don't think I'd have time to get it built and ready before midnight. And adding the fact that I got other clocks to construct for other customers that came before you did, my free time is nowhere to be found in my current schedule. I sincerely apologize for this inconvenience, so I hope you understand," Father Time said as he was wiping his knuckles clean with a used rag, which could really use the washing machine right about now. He just felt bad about this whole thing, and the guilt that came with it is something he can't really bear. So, he made another offer that hopefully would suffice.
"But perhaps...I could offer you another clock of a different variety? Like..." he looked around the shop and spotted one that he believed best suited your needs. "Ah, that one?" he walked to the other side of the shop and grabbed a small coo-coo clock that was hanging on the lower walls and then presented it to you. The clock did interest you in a way. To you, coo-coo clocks were just the same as alarm clocks, only bulkier and with more moving parts. Still, it was a good option in a worst-case scenario such as this one.
"However, I should warn you that this is one of my older pieces of work, so the alarm on this may have some problems being able to go off," he added.
Now that sounded like a problem to you. You had trust issues with a lot of things, and this was no exception.
So, basically I'd be buying a clock that could possibly * not** go off when it's supposed to, thus causing problems with my work schedule and would most certainly have my ass out of the gates of Canterlot,* you thought.
You were concerned about this clock the owner was offering, but as you looked around the shop, seeing all the other clocks that seemed way too big or way too tall to fit in your tiny room, it seemed like you had no choice but to go for it. So, you asked Father Time about the quirky clock.
*Sigh* "How much will it cost for that clock, Mr. Time?"
"Oh, well, the price of this would normally be about seventy-five bits, but due to the circumstances of all the alarm clocks being bought and with this being an old model, how about I offer you a twenty-five percent discount on this item?"
The offer intrigued you, so you did the math in your head, even though it was your least favorite subject in your college class. After doing the calculations, the price would equal a roughly estimated fifty-six bits, which was still too much for you, since you only brought twenty-five bits for an alarm clock. Then you remembered, you had that bag of blutes in the drawer of your nightstand back at the castle. If you could quickly head back to your room, you might be able to grab at least one blute and hurry back before the clockwork shop closes. So you asked Father Time...
"Can you please tell me when your shop's gonna close?"
"Well, I generally close at about half an hour from now, but the family and I are having a late supper tonight, so I can stay open for a little while longer if you want," he responded.
Perfect, you thought.
"All right, thanks. Keep that clock on the counter, and I promise I'll come back with some more cash, okay?" you told the owner.
"Alrighty then!" he said with a nod as he was putting the coo-coo clock on the counter. "It'll be right here waiting for you."
You gave the owner a slight wave goodbye before bolting out the front door and began sprinting down the plaza back to the castle. The bell ringing behind you as you left the shop.
You were running as fast as you could, speeding past any and all of the ponies that you encountered. You were on a time limit. You didn't care if it was half an hour of time. All that mattered was that you had to book it to get a single blute from your cash sack and back before Father Time closes his doors. Your brain didn't think of anything but the mission at hand. You felt like you were running a marathon and you were gaining up on the leader. You thought to yourself, If I just hurry and make this trip and go back before sundown, I might be able to have a descent clock on my hands.
Five minutes passed and you were still hauling ass. Even when you could hear your heart racing and feel sweat running down your face, you didn't falter. All those years of high school athletics are starting to pay off for you. You were overclocking your body, pushing it beyond its normal limitations, which was probably a mistake you looked over.
It was then your lungs began running out of oxygen and is starting to use up the spare sacs of air left in them. Your heart felt like it was going to explode at any given moment. Your arms and legs were beginning to feel heavy, and you were sweating more and more profusely as time went on. Clearly, you were not dressed for such an occasion like this and the late afternoon sun was not providing any support as it beams you down with its rays. The breeze you felt before was not there. You could hear your breath growing more desperate for air every time you exhaled. Then your pace started to slow...
Another five minutes passed, but this time, you were on your hands and knees, crawling. You held your head high up for some air, seeing the castle that looked like it was still miles away. You couldn't tell if you were getting closer or if the castle was moving further away. Every attempt to get up off your hands and knees was painful, like arrows have been shot through your thighs and arms, keeping you down on the ground. But you couldn't give up.
You were a very persistent man in your world. You used to be beaten down by bullies, thugs and people who just didn't like you. But you always got back up. You always showed your enemies that no matter how much you bled, no matter how many bones in your body were broken, you always managed to keep getting up on your own two legs and stand true to your cause. In this case, your enemy was time, and every second seemed like it went by like a nanosecond.
You had to work through the pain, gritting your teeth as you were on your feet, using what reserved energy you had left in your body. The sweat that cools your body evaporated from the surface of your skin. Now you were hotter than you were before, and definitely not in a good way. You had two options at this point. 1: You could keep on suffering in the dreaded heat of the day and increase your chances of having a heat stroke, or 2: You could go inside a nearby shop to cool off and restore some energy so you could continue your journey. You chose the obvious one.
Using what energy you had left, you slowly went into what appeared to be a jewelry store, judging from the sign out front. You opened the door slowly and upon feeling the cool air coming from the ceiling fans, you almost collapsed on the floor. That feeling of cold, refreshing air is something you always wanted when the heat was beating you down. You couldn't fathom how relaxed you now felt after entering the nice, cool shop. You could stay in there until sunset, but, getting your head screwed on straight, you focused back on your current objective. While the air was refreshing and reinvigorating, you were still on a time limit. So, alternating your plan a bit, you decided to stay in the jewelry store for a good five to seven minutes, then it's back out to continue forth on your quest.
However, you began to hear an ominous sound echoing from the back room of the store.
Suck, suck, suck...
You didn't want to believe, but that sound was making it harder not to. You've watched plenty of porn to understand what that sound usually means, but you prayed to God that it wasn't. You tried to ignore it, listening to a song in your head, even doing the childish "cover your ears and make random noises" bit. But it wasn't good enough. In fact, it felt like the sound echoed louder in the store.
Suck, suck, suck...
Then you began to hear moaning. The sexual kind...
You knew it was none of your business, but you began to focus your ears on who's doing the moaning.
Hmm...sounds like...a dude, probably in his teen years -- no -- it's more like a... young adult. Actually, now I can hear the other one. Female, definitely, but old enough to be doing what I think she's doing. Sheesh, sounds like they're * really** going at it back there. Well, whoever they are, I hope they both get off well. Nothing's more disappointing than for a woman to-- wait, ARE THESE WORDS ACTUALLY COMING OUT OF MY IMAGINARY MOUTH!? Aw, man! I gotta get my mind out of the gutter! It's best to leave them alone anyway.*
Shaking your head, you were trying to think of something else to avoid what's going on in the back room. But the noises were not helping you at all. Then there came a sound that drowned out the ones you heard before, and it made your heart skip a beat upon hearing the two words that'll ring in your ears for a good while...
"Oh, Spike!!"
Your throat felt dry, your cheeks were beginning to turn pinkish red, sweat began to form on your forehead, and your eyes were beginning to become wide open.
So * that's** the favor that he talked to me about earlier*, you thought.
You slowly turned your head towards the door to the back room of the jewelry store labeled, "MANAGEMENT." You could see that the door was slightly open inward, but the image was still a little fuzzy. You didn't want any part of what was going on back there, but it has been a long time since you got off, and hearing the noises going on there was actually...getting you horny . The more you listened to Spike and the owner going at it, the harder your little friend was getting, to the point of a bulge appearing on the crotch region of your jean shorts. You didn't want to beat it to a random sex scene happening before you, but you being this aroused was beginning to cloud your vision, blinding you from your current quest. You felt like it was your hard little friend saying it, but the words were coming out of your mouth.
"Well, maybe just one little peak wouldn't hurt much," you said from your dry lips.
So, carefully, you tip-toed on your bare feet, leaving your old flip-flops behind, for you felt like they would generate some noise that would grab the lovers' attention. You had to hone your experience from playing classic Metal Gear games as a kid to carefully sneak more closely to the back door. One wrong move and it's game over. It was then you were stopped by the jewelry counters that blocked your path. You felt like climbing over them should be only in case there was no alternate route, but there had to be some way for the owner to enter and exit the counters. So, taking cover behind the counter, to avoid the potential chance of being spotted, your eyes darted back and forth to look for a small door. And lo and behold there was one just on the other side of the jewelry store.
Time was running short for you to see some of the action. However, you remembered skimming through a book about dragons and seen just a bit of info that male dragons have some pretty damn good stamina. So, while the owner will have climaxed multiple times in one sitting, Spike will only get off once.
Spike may not know it yet, but he could be a potential mares' man.
So, quickly but quietly, you darted towards the door that'll let you get behind the counters. Thankfully, the floor was carpet, so the sound of your footsteps will have been muffled even more, making them practically silent, given the noise that's going on in the back room already. You then looked and saw a lock on the door, which meant you would have to do a small jump over it. The risk here is that even with the carpet muffling your footsteps and the sex going on in the room, your landing would still make a soundly thump. You prayed that it would not create too much noise, but then you heard the owner moaning louder. Sounded like she was going to climax...again. This was a perfect opportunity for you to make your hop over the door, for they couldn't possibly hear the sound of a thump if she was making that much noise. So, counting to three silently, you did one quick but large hop over the door and immediately went into cover behind the counters, just in case.
Taking a quick peek over the counter top, you see the still fuzzy image of Spike going doggy style on the owner over what appeared to be a desk. You then crawled towards the slightly open door, making sure that they didn't see you along the way.
Upon reaching the door, you stood upright, your body flat against the wall. You were about to peek through the slightly open door, when all of a sudden, your common sense began to kick in.
Am I actually doing this? Am I actually f**king doing this? When did my life suddenly turn into me being a Peeping Tom? you thought to yourself.
Here I am, about to jerk off to watching my best friend --my * BEST FRIEND*-- going to town with the jewelry store owner. Have I no f**king decency and dignity left in me? *Sigh* I shouldn't be doing this. Hell, I shouldn't even be here. What if they spot me beating my meat while they were having their time alone? My ass can get arrested, or worse, whipped!
You were having a silent argument with your brain and your little friend, who was threatening to pop out of your shorts, zipped up or not, when suddenly you realized the noises of pleasure had stopped... Then you heard Spike's voice.
"You know, if you're going to watch us having sex, you can at least ask , bro."
Chapter 8: Clocked Out (Pt. 2)
Your heart sank to your feet, your sweat came back to cover your face, and speaking of, your whole face was glowing red like the nose of Rudolph. You felt like you were being constricted by a snake, wrapping its coils around your body, for your breathing was getting shorter and shorter. It was then you heard that voice again, almost in the same deadpan tone as the last one you heard not a few seconds before.
"Come on, man. I know you're there, so just...come on out," said Spike.
You heard who it was, and you wanted to do what he said, but you still stood there against the wall, completely motionless. You were frozen in place. Words didn't come out of your mouth, but what was going on in your mind was a different story.
F**k, f**k, F**K!! I should've known this was gonna happen! I should've f**kin KNOWN!! Now I'm in deeper sh*t than I was to begin with! Why didn't I just leave them alone!? Why didn't I just let them do their thing!? * AND WHY DO I STILL HAVE A RAGING BONER*!?!
You would think that your little friend would have gone soft after getting caught, but not only was it still throbbing in your shorts, but you felt like it was getting even harder. Soon, your zipper will be unable to handle the pressure put on it.
But back to the matter at hand, you had to do something or you felt that Spike or the manager of the jewelry store would notify the police. Then you heard Spike's voice again...
"Look, we're not gonna call the police, but you at least need to explain yourself. Come on, man. Don't make this harder than it is already (no pun intended)."
A slight giggle can be heard from the manager.
She got the joke.
Spike was right, though. You had to explain why you were going to peek at them going at it like dogs in heat. So, calming yourself with a couple of sighs, closing your eyes and taking in a deep breath, you released yourself from the wall and turned to the slightly open door. There, you could see Spike with his arms crossed and his pink, throbbing package hanging. You look over his shoulder, seeing the manager of the store, Ruby Gem, covering her large, plump breasts and private bits with only her arms and hands, which didn't really help the situation at hand. You then turned your eyes back to Spike, who looked to be growing more impatient and waiting for a response from you.
"Well?" he said, his arms still crossed and tapping his left foot.
Wetting your dry lips a bit and letting out a big sigh, you began to give your explanation.
"Alright, here's how it went down," you took in a big inhale. "I was running from the clockwork shop back to the castle because someone bought all the alarm clocks for some charity bologna that I've never heard about, but the owner of the shop offered me a coo-coo clock with a discount that was still too high a price for me since I only brought enough bits for a regular alarm clock. So, I asked him when he was closing so I could run to the castle to get some more cash in my room and come back for the clock he was offering. He said he was gonna close a bit late since his family was having a late supper, which was the perfect opportunity for me to go and get more cash so I could buy the clock, so I told him to keep it on the counter and I began running for my life to get the castle as fast as I could."
You stopped to take another deep breath before continuing your explanation.
"But as you can see what I'm wearing, running in something other than gym clothes isn't really the best plan one could have, so as time went on, I began running out of energy and started crawling on my hands and knees, begging for oxygen, and do NOT take that out of context! With my time and breath running short, I chose to go into one of the stores, such as this one, to cool off and regain my energy to continue my journey. That was until I heard you guys having your private moment back here. I tried to ignore it, I tried to let it go, but no! I was getting aroused by the noises and sounds you guys were making, so I thought 'maybe one peek wouldn't be so bad, y'know?' I kept quiet until I came up to the door to see you guys going at it like rabbits, but then my common sense kicked in, and possibly at the worst time, too!"
After saying those last few words, you were officially out of breath. You leaned on the side of the door with your right arm, panting like you were running again. It took only a few more gasps of air to let you conclude your explanation to Spike...
"A-a-a-a-and that's how I ended up here, at the back room door, with a raging boner still."
You went back to gathering air for your shriveled up lungs. You looked up to see Spike still standing there with his arms crossed. You hoped the information now laid on the table would be your "Get Out of Jail Free" card. After regaining the proper oxygen capacity for normal breathing, you stood upright, now waiting for a response from your half-naked best friend. You could see him using his "thinking" face. You know, the eyes looking up at the ceiling, the finger tap on the cheek, the one raised brow; "thinking" face. Meanwhile, your boner was still creating a bulge in your shorts, and it doesn't seem to be going down anytime soon. You had to find some way of getting rid of it. Then it hit you: think of sad things! Nothing kills a boner or a lady boner more than sad thoughts. So you used the basic ones to see if it'll do the trick to getting rid of your rock hard ally.
Come on, now. Let's see. Uhh, dead kittens?
You checked to see if your boner went down a tad. No dice.
Damn! Okay then. Umm, Two Foals One Cup?
Still nothing.
Oh, you've gotta be kidding me! Alright, gotta try harder. Ehh, putting a sick dog down!
Not even a change in size.
Are you serious right now?
You didn't think your boner was going down, no matter how many depressing thoughts you were throwing at it. But then you had one that would be your trump card against your little friend; one that although will make your boner soft and unusable for sex or masturbation, but it will ultimately leave you depressed as well. Keeping your mouth closed but gritting your teeth, you threw the most depressing thought that will surely do the trick to make your little friend soft once more.
I can never go back to my old friends and family. I can never go back to my old life again. I am...forever alone in this dimension...
...That did the trick. Your boner was softening up and began shrinking down back to normal size, to where the big bulge in your shorts could barely be seen. It was effective, no doubt, but now you were all kinds of depressed. You were now having second thoughts about using that thought. Now you didn't even know if the journey for this clock was even worth it anymore. A tear was beginning to form on your right eye. That was until Spike snapped his fingers at you to regain your attention, now wondering why you were about to cry.
"Hey, man. Is everything cool?" he asked.
You didn't want to tell him the truth behind your tear, for you didn't think he was a fan of sob stories. You didn't want to kill his boner, too, especially while he was in the middle of pumping Ruby like a bike tire. So, wiping the potential tear from your eyelids, you said...
"Well, excluding the situation at hand, yeah, I'm fine...for now."
Spike was just about to say something when Ruby butted in the conversation you two were having.
"You know, Spike, there is an alternative to this predicament," she said with a flirtatious voice, her one hand on her lover's shoulder.
You were guessing what she was aiming at, but you were a man of confirmation. You didn't accept information until that sh*t was validated. However, you were honestly hoping she wasn't going for that alternative, because that would mean all that hard work getting rid of your boner would have been for naught. You had your fingers crossed behind your back for the best, but with the way she expressed this "alternative," you also had to assume the worst. Ruby continued on...
"You could ask your friend here if he would like to join our little session..."
Your heart skipped a beat, and you were pretty sure Spike's heart did as well. The worst was now confirmed, and you could feel your little friend getting rock solid again.
All those sad thoughts for nothing...fan-f**king-tastic.
Spike's face was flushed as well as yours was. Hearing that coming from the manager, who is normally refined and classy, is something you wouldn't quite expect. Crazy as it sounded in your head, you assumed that you weren't dealing with Ruby at all, but rather her slutty, evil twin who's obsessed with the pleasure of nonstop sex. Kinky, but creepy at the same time. You didn't mind a bit of sex, but you had limits just like anyone who would have some dignity left in them. It was then you heard Ruby's seductive voice again...
"I know he's not as big as a colt, but I've always wondered what it's like to have a human inside me..."
You were focused on Ruby's face, whose gaze you couldn't directly pinpoint to where it was staring.
Basically, you couldn't tell if she was looking at your face, or your dick.
Then something worse followed up, you saw Spike's thinking face again. Not good.
Is he really thinking about her suggestion!? Really, legitimately thinking about it!? I mean I know I'm your best friend, but there are lines friends shouldn't consider crossing over! you complained in your mind.
It's pretty painful to refuse having a threesome, especially with a bod like Ruby Gem's. Oh man, did she have curves like a French model, and with her current age, it was pretty impressive how she's able to keep it. No wonder some colts would want her than the jewelry she sells. From those melon-sized breasts to her plump, soft, round rump, you wondered if she actually did model in her younger days. Then you wondered what it would feel like to be in between those fluffy pillows on her chest, and to feel the warmth coming from her wet, dripping pussy; to be thrusting back and forth in her, feeling the walls of her vag clenching onto your rock hard c**k, the both of you letting out a pleasurable moan as you and Ruby -- uh, just a moment.
[Author smacking himself to get back on track]
**Bbbbbbbbbbbbbrrrr!! * Alright, back to reality. Sorry about that.*
A-a-a-a-a-a-anyway, you were waiting for a response from Spike, hoping that his answer will be no. You really didn't have time to be fooling around with the manager, especially when the clock's still ticking. Every minute that passed by meant the window to get that coo-coo clock at the shop was getting smaller and smaller. You turned your head a slight to get a good view of the shop's glass door and saw the shadows were longer than when you got here. Then you heard Spike's voice, in which your head turned to him.
"Well..." he started.
Please no, please no, PLEASE NO, you were begging in your mind.
"...I really don't see the harm in it. So, why not?" he answered.
Sh*tballs!
It was then he looked to you, and asked you the request you didn't want to accept.
"Waddya say, pal? You want in on this?" he offered.
You already knew the answer to that question, but for some reason, it was hard for you to say it aloud. Your brain was saying no in all the languages of your world, but your little friend said otherwise. And then the argument flared up again between your brain and your dick, as weird as that sounds. You were now struggling to give Spike your answer, which felt easy, but is now a pain to do so. You were gritting your teeth again, your eyes shut tight, your head turning left and right rapidly, your hands running through your hair. You were on the verge of panicking, when finally, you let out an exhausted sigh, opened your eyes to look at your friend, and began to give your answer.
"I-I-I-I can't. I'm already on a tight schedule as it is. Time's running short for me, and I only got about like twenty one minutes left to get to the castle and run all the way back to the clockwork shop to purchase the clock I need to wake me up on time. To be involved in this would only make that time shorter, and time isn't really something I have at this point. So, I appreciate the offer, Spike, buddy, but my answer's gonna have to be no. Sorry."
"Nah, it's completely cool, man. I respect your decision. I already have a lot going on, too, as you can, heh, clearly see," your friend said turning to Ruby, whose arms where now wrapped around his left arm. A cute smile was on her face, waiting for her lover to return with her to the back room. It was then she began tugging on his arm, just like a child wanting their parents' attention.
"Well," Spike continued,"I should be getting back to my business as well as you should. A certain someone wants to get back to what we were doing before." He pointed to Ruby who was now yanking on his arm, pulling him into the back room with her.
Hopefully they'll keep the door closed all the way this time , you thought.
"Heh, well alright then. Stay classy, Spike," you said as you were going over the jewelry counter, walking back towards your flip-flops and putting them on one foot at a time. As you were about to open the door, Spike called for your attention once more.
"Oh hey, bro! Remember, this little awkward moment here? It never happened. ¿Comprende?"
"¡Sí, señor!" you replied, giving your friend the nod that it was...yet another dirty little secret to keep. Spike then disappeared behind the door, closing it shut this time so that a similar situation you were just in won't happen for anyone else.
So, opening the door, you felt the warm late summer air again, only this time it wasn't threatening to give you a heat stroke. Taking in a deep breath you turned to the castle, and the sun descending right behind it. You already wasted enough time getting yourself out of the sticky situation you were in, and the clock was winding down even faster. Taking in another breath, you were on the path again, sprinting for your life towards the castle to get to your room and hopefully make it back to purchase that clock.
The outside air felt cooler than it was when you were running before, but it was what you needed to keep going. The breeze was back to cool your face, and it felt great. You weren't gonna let anything else hinder your progress towards completing your quest. Now you were certain the castle was getting closer, for you could see the front steps to the main door. You then kicked it into high gear, overclocking your body once more, but you weren't as worried about falling apart like you did before.
The castle was in sight. You were panting like a dog in a sauna, your sweat was drenching the pits and back of your shirt. You couldn't give up now, not when you were at least at the half way point. But there was one thing that was going to be a difficult obstacle to overcome:
The castle's main steps.
Chapter 9: Clocked Out (Pt. 3)
The castle's main steps. On any other day, they wouldn't be a problem. But today was a different scenario. You were on a time limit and the seconds were ticking away. You were standing in front of the steps, panting like a dog, and wiping sweat from your forehead. Your sight looked at the first step and began ascending all the way up to what you believed was the hundredth step. You always wondered the use for these stairs. Other than for guests attending weddings or royal balls and visitors getting themselves some higher levels of knowledge from the royal library, you felt like these steps weren't really needed, even if it was to make the castle look more fancy. The reason why you thought this was because the princesses have some pretty damn powerful magic that they can use to teleport themselves almost anywhere they want. Either that or fly to any place with a two-plus story window.
Looking back at the first step, you took in a deep breath and exhaled as you began running up the stairs. Each step was burning more and more of your energy as you were ascending to the castle's main doors. Then, on the sixtieth stair step, you took one misstep and fell on your face on the stairs.
It was a good thing you were going up the stairs instead of down, or you would've been in a lot more pain.
You were trying to get back up on your feet, but the lazy portion of your brain was beginning to take over your mind.
"You know what, buddy, maybe this clock isn't worth it. You can just get it tomorrow, y'know?" it said inside your head.
While you didn't want to give up on your quest, your lazy side did have, somewhat, a valid point. You began to wonder if this whole journey was even worth it anymore. You've already been through a small amount of hell today already, what with Celestia's request, the alarm clock epidemic, and accidentally running into Spike's little sex session. All of that...for a clock that looked like it would fall apart anyway.
You started to slowly get back up on your feet, covering the pain spot on your right side with your hand, and panting a little less now. You turned your head to the plaza, the castle's shadow almost covering the entire area, and saw the tiny clockwork shop across the many other stores next to it. It wasn't really hard to see it, for the shop itself had two large gears on top of the entrance outside, so that others could tell what products it sold. Looking at it from afar, you let out a disappointing sigh, signifying that you have given up on this quest, and that you'll go to the shop when you have even more free time. You turned back to the entrance of the castle and began to walk up the stairs with your head drooping. You were too tired to think about anything else. All you cared about now was to go to the mess hall and grab a nice, refreshing supper, then go to bed. You'll think about how you're gonna get up in the morning another time.
Five minutes later...
You were walking down the outside hallways towards the mess room, looking out the glass pane windows, barely seeing the sun as it was slowly descending behind the mountains. A few stars here and there were starting to appear in the denim-colored sky. You knew that in about an hour, the princess of the night will begin her work, painting more stars and changing the color and shape of Equestria's bright moon. Oh, what it would be like to see Luna's work, using her magic brush and making the night sky something for all ponies to see, to remember. Not a lot of ponies are allowed in her quarters without her compensation, except for her sister and Twilight. She's also not usually seen outside her room except for breakfast and supper, but that's when Celestia's waking up and going to sleep. No pony has seen her at any weddings or royal balls, but could understand how difficult it is to make something like the night sky memorable. It's not really as simple as taking a brush and putting little white dots on a piece of paper.
For Luna, it was all about patience, making sure every piece of her artwork had a deep meaning to them. She would not take anything less than that. Even if it was just a little white dot, she would give it purpose, a reason to exist. She treats the stars like they were her very own children, making sure they all had an equal amount of love put into them. But the one thing that has the most love given to it, was the moon.
What was once her prison, was now her masterpiece. When she paints it, when she sees it, she could feel it calling to her. She could hear its need to be presented elegantly, beautifully. Even after the whole Nightmare Moon incident, she still looks at her painting, seeing the moon not as a prison anymore, but like a second home. You overheard a conversation between Luna and her sister while you were cleaning the halls that she was planning to go back to the moon and return to the studies she had there. To think about the many scrolls, books, and star maps she had on those shelves is incredible. Then again, you figured she had to do something to keep herself occupied.
It was then you started thinking how she kept herself occupied. Being on the moon with no other life form for a thousand years means a lot oh boy. Not again.
Both you and the guard bumped into each other and took a couple of steps backwards from the impact. Seems that neither you nor the royal guard saw each other coming.
"Oh, jeez. Sorry. My bad. I didn't look where I was going," you apologized to the guard.
You were expecting a response like,"It's quite all right," or ,"You need to watch out next time," but instead you were given silence. You saw that the guard was just standing there, motionless, staring at you with those emerald eyes of hers. A bead of sweat was seen trickling down the side of her face. Then you noticed her helmet was on the floor. Probably dropped it when you two bumped into each other. You were waiting for her to pick it up and resume her walk, but she was still standing there like a statue. So, feeling like a nice guy, you walked over to her, picked up her helmet and tried to give it to her.
"You, umm, dropped your helmet," you said, confused about why the guard was showing no movement whatsoever. Then, slowly, she grabbed the helmet from your hands and put it on. She stared back at you, still as wide eyed as she was before, and then her lips started moving as to speak.
"T-t-t-thank you," she said in almost a whisper.
The guard began to walk in the opposite direction, until she stopped several meters past you to look at your face one last time before disembarking. You couldn't tell, but you could see her lips form a small smile before she resumed her duties. You were about to start resuming your walk to the mess hall, when all of a sudden you caught a glimpse of something at the corner of your eye. You did a one-eighty turn to see that guard's armor plated rump, and thank the pony gods that you did, for it was one hell of a keister. You almost felt sorry for that armor piece dealing with the pressure put on it from that posterior. What a shame your heart belonged to another, though.
You turned back around and began walking, and while doing so, you murmured under your breath,"Not bad."
Five more minutes later...
The mess hall...
A deep rumble can be felt from your stomach. You didn't really have much for lunch but half a PB&J and water, and what they serve here doesn't really help your cravings. In your world, you were given the nickname 'The Carnivore,' for your taste consisted of all kinds of beef, pork, chicken and fish. To you, vegetables was only an option that you rarely ever took. But of course, that was in your world. Equestria has a whole 'nother set of standards when it comes to what ponies eat. Literally every pony was a vegetarian, like it or not. It always made you wonder how the muscular colts are able to keep their figure if their diet consists of only salads and greens. Big Mac especially.
Anyway, the mess hall is usually packed with the royal guards switching shifts before and after supper. When one goes, another comes in. It was kinda like an ant work system going on here. Everything flowed smoothly without any bumps or obstacles hindering the path. This was a little unsettling to you since you're pretty much the odd one out of this place. You could be easily picked out of a crowd.
Your stomach started rumbling again, so you went in line to get yourself something decent to have for supper. The mess hall mare, as a lot of ponies like to call her, was a very nice pony to talk to when getting your food. Sometimes, the line will stop because of someone starting a conversation with her, which really isn't such a good idea, because of the "ant work system" flow of this place. As you got your tray and began sliding it along the counter to get your daily dose of greens and water, something else dropped on your tray. It wasn't greens, carrots, or even a single piece of kale. It was a large piece of what seemed to be.....steak.
You couldn't believe it. It was steak. A legitimate, fine cut piece of lean, seasoned, grilled beef, is on your tray. You wondered if you were dreaming, if you were having delusions. It has been too long since you had anything with meat on it, and to have it on this day after all the craziness that happened, you felt like this was a secret gift from the heavens. Your mouth was becoming a waterfall, unable to hold in the drool that the steak was giving you. It was then you were given a note from the mess hall mare, and before you were about to read it, the guard next to you bumped you a bit on your shoulder, signifying that you were holding up the line. Putting the note in your pocket, you continued down the line and grabbed a cup of fresh, sparkling water and proceeded to find a table to sit and eat this behemoth of meat on your tray. Of course, it didn't go unnoticed by any of the other guards in the mess hall, as they stopped eating their salads and drinking their water to stare at the piece of steak.
As you sat down, you knew that it was silent in the room, as all of the royal guards were still staring at that hunk of beef on your tray. A lot of them had their eyes wide open, some with their mouths agape, and even a couple were drooling. It didn't seem like they had seen something like what you had in forever. Remember when you were the odd one of the mess hall? Well, case and point.
It started to make you uncomfortable with the way people were looking at only you and your steak, so you decided to snap your fingers a couple of times to get them out of the hypnosis that every pony seemed to be in right now. It looked like it work, for most were going back to finishing their supper while others were still gawking at your dish. You grabbed your fork and knife, but before you started to cut into the meat of this beast, you remembered the note the mess hall mare gave to you. Taking it out of your pocket, you looked at it more closely and saw the seal of what appeared to be a sun.
Celestia.
Opening the envelope, you pulled out the letter inside and began reading it, word for word.
My Dearest Janitor,
I felt it be necessary that you have as much protein as you can store for tomorrow's job. While the bracelet may make your work easier to handle, I thought it would help more if the cleaner himself were to be full of energy by the time he begins his work. Oh, and please don't let this poor thing go to waste. This order was * not** an easy task to get validated. Eat up and best of luck to you tomorrow!*
Sincerely,
Princess Celestia
You stared at the note, then back to the steak, then back to the note, then back to the steak again.
Celestia must have pulled some * serious** strings to get this thing on my tray,* you thought.
You turned your head to the mess hall mare, who gave you a wink, knowing what that steak was really for. It sent a chill down your spine for some reason.
Probably because some pony might be missing a cow in their ranch.
Now you felt like you couldn't eat the large piece of steak because of that thought, but your stomach said otherwise. So, picking up your fork and knife again, you began carving into the piece of beef and knew from the juices leaking out of the piece you were holding, this one was cooked to perfection. Taking that one bite might have been too much for you, for you were practically dying, trying to hold in the sweet, succulent, juicy flavor inside your mouth and failing miserably. It tasted like heaven; no, better, it tasted like SUPER -heaven! You could hear the angelic choir singing into your ears. The preacher was praising His name and all the good that He has done. Indeed, you were in super-heaven.
After that one bite, you knew you had to go for more, so picking up your utensils once more, you started cutting another piece to savor until there was nothing but the T-bone when all's said and eaten. You didn't say anything because the deliciousness of the steak was making you swallow your words, but in your mind, you said...
Thank you, Celestia. Thank you very much. Consider that job finished.
In her room, the royal guard known by all as Lunamme was at her sink, staring down at the drain after washing her face, breathing heavily. Her heart was like a giant stomping in a forest, every thump louder than the last. She slowly looked up at her reflection in the mirror, seeing those same emerald eyes that looked at you, but the body was different. Her skin wasn't an ash gray color, but rather a charcoal black with holes in her arms. Her mane was blue green and drooping like she emerged from the water, and wings like an insect were fluttering a tad on her back. The reflection looked at her and said in an eerie whisper...
"This is who you truly are..."
Chapter 9.5: The Nightly Routine
It was a cool, refreshing, indigo-sky night. Several stars have already appeared, and the moon, as big as it can ever be, was just over the hills behind Ponyville, giving off a luminous glow. Patches of small clouds could be seen moving across the sky. But a lot of ponies know of the bad weather that is to arrive tomorrow afternoon, which wasn't a horrifying thing, really. A lot of the farmers and florists could sure use the rain. It has been a solid week since the town has gotten any sort of wet weather, and the crops and flowers were beginning to whither. They need rain, bad.
But for the time being, some late-night ponies will enjoy the beautiful night sky as it passes over them. There were still some blank spots that needed to be filled, but all will be in due time.
In the princess of the night's lovely abode, there laid the princess herself, resting on her queen-sized bed with silk curtains covering the outside of it. Ah, to look at her sleep would be something of a wonderful dream, aside from the "creepy stalker" part of it. Maybe one day, someone carefully chosen to be her mate will be given that chance. To see those eyes open in front of you would be like staring into the eyes of someone who was birthed from that of a god. To see her luscious curves covered with her blanket made of pure cotton, to feel her hand touch your well-shaven face, to hear her whisper those three words with her silk-like voice....
I love you...
*sigh* Alas, tis just fantasy for the time being. You can only hope that the reality will be much like the dream.
Luna wakes from her long-deserved rest, lifting her eyelids to reveal those dark turquoise eyes of hers. She slowly rose her upper body from the surface of the bed and let out a nice, long stretch. Unlike her sister, Celestia, who wears a cotton-sewed nightgown before going to sleep, Luna wears only her undergarments, which covered her private bits well enough. She began to step off from her bed to stretch out a bit more, before going to her bathroom to do her STB (the shower, the teeth, and the brush).
She loves to take her time doing things, and that's why it's a good thing that Celestia takes showers in the morning. Otherwise, there might have been some heated arguments about who was using up all of the hot water. Luna doesn't use a loofah to clean her body, but rather her own hands, for she believes one can clean their body more efficiently with them, especially in those...hard to reach places . Other points to support her claim is that loofahs are too rough on her sensitive skin, and that she can stop herself more easily in case things start to get a little hotter in the shower. Remember, compared to Celestia, Luna's still a virgin. So, during the "heat" wave, she ensures that she remains locked in her room so that she wouldn't advance on any colt that passed on by. It's torturous, yes, but well worth the wait when she acquaints herself with the being she will deem "the one."
When she was done with her shower, Luna dries off and puts on two towels; one to cover her shiny, curvy body, and another to dry her mane. She heads to the sink to begin brushing her teeth, wiping some of the condensation from her mirror to see a night-blue princess with sapphire freckles on the bridge of her nose and just below her eyes, and an expression that basically said,"same sh*t, different night."
After rinsing her mouth, ridding herself from all the harmful bacteria that can cause gingivitis, she began to remove the towel curled around her mane, and with it, revealing a flowing set of hair with tiny stars twinkling inside and some constellations appearing here and there. She then grabbed a brush from one of her sink drawers, and carefully stroked her mane, making sure not to injure herself and to also not mistakenly remove a constellation or two from her hair.
Five minutes later...
The princess of the night walks down the long chasms that are Canterlot's hallways in her normal apparel that mainly consists of a single black cloth wrapped around her body, from the top of her left shoulder down to her lower thighs. She is also wearing her royal garments, for she has to look as formal as her sister in case of any subjects wanting to speak with her. She is also accompanied by two of her royal guards, following closely behind with spears to ensure Luna's safety. As she is walking down towards the private dining room to meet Celestia for supper, in her mind were thoughts and dreams flying around through her head. This was of course normal for Luna, but something felt...off this time. In one of the dreams she sees in her mind, there was a figure with a wiped face, like some pony scratched it out so that it may never be seen. This intrigued her, for she wanted to know who this figure was. Perhaps one day, she will find this figure and connect the pieces of the puzzle to find a deeper meaning to the dream. For now, she was quite famished and eager to get to the dining room.
The Royal Sisters' Dining Room
Upon reaching the room, Luna's royal guards stood on the outside of the door frame, as is their duty to ensure only the princesses are allowed in the dining room unless otherwise told differently. The princess of the night begins to walk around the large table to see her sister, the princess of the sun, standing next to her seat. They both greeted each other warmly, giving hugs and kisses on the cheek, before sitting down and having their supper.
"So, my dear sister," Celestia said, initiating a conversation. "Are you as well rested as I will be soon after supper?"
"Why yes, sister," Luna replied. "I am to have all the energy I need to work on my art, especially for what is to come later this week."
Celestia nodded as she was taking a spoonful of soup and blowing on it softly to cool it off. "Yes, of course. Cadance's second anniversary celebration should be another night that shall never be forgotten."
It was then Celestia wondered about her sister's plans for that day. "Though I must ask..."
"Yes?" Luna wondered.
"Have you any special plans for that day? Surely you cannot miss out on our princess's celebration."
"Well," Luna began, " I plan to create a night sky that will be most memorable for the royal ball on Friday. After that, well..." her words began to trail off, a slight blush began to form on her cheeks.
"Ah, I see," Celestia knew what her sister was talking about. August was one of the months where at least once a week, Luna goes into heat. She would have to lock herself in her room after the royal ball was finished. But it was then Celestia had a thought.
"Maybe, at least for once, you could make an appearance at the royal ball and greet Cadance and her husband? Just for an hour or so?" she asked.
*sigh* "Sister, you know why I cannot do that," Luna immediately responded. "Once the clock strikes midnight on that day, I have to be in my quarters away from everyone, so that I may not do anything... regrettable."
Celestia understood her sister's problem, but she didn't give up just yet. She laid down her spoon next to the bowl of soup, took one of Luna's hands and clasped it between hers.
"I know, dear sister, but please do this one favor for me. One hour at the ball, that is all I am asking....Please, sister..."
It was then Luna began rethinking her decision. She knew the problem she had, but of all things did she not want to break any pony's heart, much less her sister's. So, putting her spoon down, she put her hand on top of Celestia's, and gave her an answer.
"Sister, if it will make you and every pony else happy, then perhaps a single hour will not be so troublesome."
This filled Celestia with so much delight, that she let go of her sister's hands and gave her a big warm hug. Luna returned with the same kind of hug.
"Thank you! You will not regret it, dear sister!" she said in a cheerful tone.
I hope not, Luna thought.
After finishing their supper, they gave each other one last hug and a kiss before Celestia went off to bed and Luna went to work. Luna was the first to leave the dining room, with her royal guards in tow. Celestia then did the same with her royal guards. Both sisters went opposite directions of each other, heading for their bedrooms.
Five more minutes later...
Soon after reaching the door to her room, Luna dismissed the guards and proceeded to head to her bed, gathering her magical paints and canvas. As she sat down, she grabbed one large brush from her case, dipped in into a large cup of indigo paint, and began covering the entire canvas in that color. Afterwards, she moved on to her whites and bright yellows, carefully placing each star so that one does not impede the other. As she places the stars on her painting, those same stars began appearing into the night blue sky. She then took a bit of faded purple and began dry-brushing it on the canvas to give it more fluent coloring. After she was finished the stars, she started to work on the moon, placing it where she wants to, and giving it an incredulous amount of detail. But it was then she stopped painting. She sat still on the side of her bed, the paintbrush still between her index and forefinger. Her face deadpanned, as if she had caught some pony red-handed. Then words began to come out of her mouth.
"Whoever you are, I know you are there. Speak now or there will be consequences," she demanded.
"Uhh... hi," you said.
Chapter 10: A Thought Experiment
Just a couple of minutes ago...
Exiting the mess hall was a satisfied you, rubbing your belly full of that large, tender piece of steak with one hand, and using a toothpick to get out any piece that got stuck between your teeth with the other. You could not have a more pleased face than what you had now. That steak was exactly what you needed to finish this night on a high note. You had more respect for Celestia than you had before, and believed that she wasn't so bad anymore. You were walking down the hall at a rather slow pace, taking your time to memorize every moment you had with that juicy, succulent, morsel of meat that laid on your tray and having your mouth water, wanting more. Alas, that may have been a "one and done" deal, so you never wanted to forget what you had for dinner this night.
As you were walking down the enormous halls, you looked to the right at the glass pane windows, observing the moon and its little children that are the stars. The moon was giving off a bright glow, being your light source for your journey to your room. Up ahead, you could see princess Luna's door, coming closer and closer as you continued walking. You saw that it was slightly ajar and could see the moon's light leaking through the opening. You then heard a slight hum coming from the room. No doubt in your mind that was the princess of the night, tending to her duties of putting stars in the sky and placing the moon wherever she wanted to. Ah, to see her work, carefully placing dots and shades of purple and blue on a canvas. It would actually be more beautiful than the night sky itself. Now normally, you would just walk on by and let out a sigh as you passed by her door, but chances were the curiosity bug got you bad, as you stood still right next to the door's hinges.
You didn't know what came over you. Your plan for the rest of the night was to head to your quarters and get some rest for the big job tomorrow. However, as you were standing still, staring at the ground, you were thinking about taking a peek at the princess, painting her life's work.
One little peek couldn't hurt, you thought.
Oh * YES** it can! And it WILL !* another part of your mind shouted.
It was then you were greeted by your typical shoulder angel on the left and your shoulder devil on the right.
"Now listen here, me!" your shoulder angel began. "You had a plan. And that plan is to go to bed and get a well-deserved rest. Right?"
"Y-y-y-y-yeah?" you answered your shoulder angel.
"So, why don't you get your mind set straight and start marching there, pal?" he demanded.
Before you could even take one step, your shoulder devil intervened.
"Come on, man, don't you be such an Obedient Oliver on me! What's wrong with taking one small peek at the chick, eh? One little peep, and you can move on!" he said.
"Remember last time when he tried to take 'one little peep' at something he shouldn't have?" your shoulder angel brought up.
"It was a common mistake!" your shoulder devil implied. "And besides, I saw you with your wang out as well as I was when we were about to peep and beat at that intercourse at the jewelry store! You can't deny it, because you're not allowed to lie, sucka! Admit it!"
A blush fell upon the face of your shoulder angel. He couldn't lie about the fact that he, like you and the shoulder devil, was about to beat it to a coincidental sex scene. Tugging on the neck of his pure white garment, he cleared his throat and admitted his fault.
"Well, that may be the case, but at least I was there to stop us from doing so, otherwise I believe we would have been in a lot more trouble than before!"
"But THIS time, we ain't gonna touch ourselves at what we're gonna do! All I want is for me and...me," shoulder devil said, pointing to you,"To take one teeny, tiny, little peek at the princess painting the night and we can be fully satisfied. That's all I'm asking!"
It was then your shoulder devil gave your shoulder angel those sad, blue, puppy dog eyes, in hopes that his request, and yours as well, will be granted. Your shoulder angel then squeezed the bridge of his nose with his eyes shut and let out a regretful sigh.
"Ugh. Fine. Fine! If it'll make the both of you Peeping Toms happy, then I guess one little peek won't --" before he could finish his sentence, another voice came into the mix. It was more womanly and coming from the princess's room.
"Whoever you are, I know you are there. Speak now, or there will be consequences," said princess Luna.
Then, simultaneously, all three of your former selves exclaimed in a whisper, "Busted!" And upon saying that, your shoulder angel and devil disappeared with the word 'POOF!' taking their place before fading away as well.
Now the feelings you had at the jewelry store have come back to haunt you, but this time, with a vengeance. The nervous sweat, the cold feet, the flushed face, the churning stomach. It all came back to give you what for. Adding insult to injury that this was probably more serious than the sex situation, your whole body felt like it was gonna collapse. But, like before, you had to say something or else the situation would be much, much worse. So, wiping the sweat from your forehead and taking in a deep breath, you proceeded to open the princess's door ever so slightly so that your face could be seen by her.
"Uhh, hi," you said.
You see that the princess of the night wasn't even looking at you, probably not even when she caught you red-handed. But then, still holding her paint brush, she slowly turned her head and looked over her shoulders to see you -- well, really, your head popping through the opening -- at the door. Her eyebrows, that were once lowered in annoyance, now raised in a way to say that she knows who you are.
"Oh, it's just you," she said, her mouth not visibly seen over her shoulder. "Is there something I can help you with, human?"
You were a tad relieved that the situation was lowered in pressure, but you weren't out of the woods yet. You either had to grow a pair and straight-up tell her the truth about what you were about to do, or make up a pitiful excuse that will most certainly not work. Basically, you were picking which option will hurt less in the end. But you remembered that you made a promise to the princesses not too long ago. It was a little bit after you getting the job as a janitor that you swore an oath to them that, as quoted:
I solemnly swear on all the things good in the world, that, for as long as I remain in this castle, shall I never tell a lie to the princesses of Canterlot. To break such a promise would be to break the trust embedded upon me by the princesses themselves, and that I should never be allowed to set foot upon this premise ever again.
Welp, so much for picking your poison.
You opened the door a bit more to let yourself in Luna's room, only to stop a couple of steps afterwards. Twirling your thumbs around each other and clearing your throat, you began to tell her the truth about what you were attempting to do...or so you thought.
"I--uhh, well. I, uhh....was going to. Umm. Well, the thing is..err," every time you tried to think of a good sentence, it just fell apart on you before you could finish constructing it. The sweat was beginning to soak your eyebrows as you were biting your lower lip. It was until Luna intervened on your explanation.
"You were planning on spying on me doing my latest artwork, weren't you?" Luna said, pretty much saying the explanation for you.
*sigh* "Yeah, I was," but just as you were about to feel gloom, a question suddenly hit you. "Wait. Exactly how did you know what I was trying to explain?" you asked.
"It is a gift of mine," she answered. "Much like dreams, I am able to read a pony's -- or in this case, your -- mind and tell them from whether they're telling the truth or if their truth is nothing but a fib. You were easy to read the moment you came into my abode. "
Ouch, you thought. But then again, you should've seen this coming from a mile away. You knew that those eyes of hers could read you like one of the many scrolls she reads, but you didn't believe it at first. Now you wonder what else she might know about you. However, that would have to wait until you were out of the situation you were currently in.
"L-l-look," you started to apologize, "I'm really sorry for intruding you while you're working. It's just that, well, ever since I came to this castle, I've always wondered what it looks like for a princess like you to be at work. I mean, this was kind of an opportunity right now, but I only wish the circumstances were much more different."
Whilst working on her night sky, Luna said, "It's quite alright. Your apology has been accepted and you may resume your duties."
"Oh," you said at first, but then you became surprised by her response, "Wait. Really? That's it?"
You were waiting for a quick response, but instead, you were given a few seconds of silence. It was until Luna put down her paint brush that she started to say something you wouldn't expect.
"Well... there is one thing that has been bothering me for a few nights now..." she began.
You wondered what she was proposing. Your dirty side went to the obvious answer, but the rest wanted validation of the subject at hand.
"W-w-w-what is it, your highness?" you asked.
She turned to face you, her thinking pose in check.
"Well, ever since you came here, I've always wondered..."
Yes, do go on, you thought with anticipation.
"If you would be so kind to participate in..."
Come on, now. Final stretch...
"A thought experiment with me," Luna finished.
"Oh..." you said with a deflated tone. You could hear in your mind a balloon flying all over the place before finally falling to the floor, flat and floppy. Don't take that out of context. But then you got curious as to what this "thought experiment" was.
"Oh?" you said with a more questioned tone.
"Yes, you see..." Luna explained, "I pretty much know what goes on in the mind of a typical pony, but never have I known about what goes on in the mind of a human before, hence my proposition to you."
You understood about what she explained, but now were a little worrisome about what she could uncover in your mind. Trust yourself when you say, that there are some memories that are better left buried and abandoned. Now you were giving her proposition even more thought.
"Err, I don't know. Sounds kinda dangerous," you said. "I mean, what if you come across something that you shouldn't? Like my darkest fears, or my most embarrassing moments?"
It was then Luna started pondering that particular situation. She wanted to explore your mind, but then again, didn't want to see anything that was supposed to be a secret kept only to you. So, after a good minute of thinking, she altered her proposition a bit.
"How about this, dear human. You can join me in looking through your mind. That way, you can prevent me from seeing any forbidden memories or long kept secrets."
You were still new to this whole magic thing, but you wondered what it would be like to explore your own mind, and hopefully find any good memories long abandoned in the deepest parts of it. And besides, she said that you would join her in her expedition through your mind, so you can make sure she doesn't see anything super personal. After a minute or two, thinking carefully about Luna's proposition, you gave her the answer she wanted.
"Well, as long as I'm along for the ride, I don't see a problem in this 'thought experiment' you speak of."
This filled Luna with a small bit of joy. To being able to explore the mind of a human has always been an intriguing thing she wanted to test out.
"Wonderful!" she said in a rather joyous tone, clasping her hands together, a smile forming on her face.
"Now, in order for this to work," she explains about the procedure, "I will need to be able to access your body's inner mind by skin on skin contact. So I will need you to remove your shirt, if that's not too much trouble."
Your heart skipped a beat after hearing her demand.
Removing my shirt? you thought. Skin on skin contact!? Man, and to think I wasn't gonna get some tonight!
Without haste, you removed your shirt, just as Luna instructed, revealing your muscles that aren't as impressive as Big Mac's, but well toned for anyone to notice. It was then you saw the princess blush a tad, covering her mouth with only the tips of her fingers. However, clearing her throat, she proceeded on with her instructions.
"Alright. Heh. Now, I will need you to simply lie down on your back here," she said, patting the spot next to her on her bed. So, doing as your told, you dropped your shirt where you last stood and first sat on her bed, next to the princess herself on the left, then proceeded to lie down on your back, both of your arms on your sides. You were waiting for the inevitable to happen, so you closed your eyes in hopes that she might do something to surprise you and your little friend. However, the surprise you got wasn't one you expected. You open one eye to see that Luna was caressing your chest in a circular pattern, or so you thought. In fact, she was getting the ritual set up for the 'thought experiment,' drawing a circle at first and then adding strange symbols you haven't seen in any of the books you skimmed through in the library. She then finished the drawing with phases of the moon on each side of the large circle on your chest. You couldn't hear her clearly, but it sounded like she was murmuring some kind of spell. Exhibit B was that her horn was glowing a sky blue color as she was murmuring the said spell. It was then her eyes were completely whitened out and glowing. It was too late to have second thoughts about it now.
As she was continuing with the spell, the drawing on your chest began to glow a white color, shining more and more as the spell went on. Then, Luna placed her right palm on your forehead, and then, everything went blank.
You slowly opened your eyes, only to see that you were standing on nothing. You looked to your left, there was nothing. Looked to the right, same deal. Suddenly, you felt your shorts being tugged on by a small hand. You immediately looked down to see a little mare wearing princess garments. Then, in the cutest voice you ever heard, she said.
"I guess the ritual is going well, then?"
It was then you instantly recognized who that was by her just asking that question.
"Luna?"
Chapter 11: In Your Dreams...Literally
Your entire mind was completely blank. It reminded you of that scene from The Matrix except there are no guns sliding in. To make things stranger than they are already, you are greeted by the kid version of princess Luna, whom admit-tingly looked adorable. You were trying to ponder the situation at hand without completely freaking out. Kid Luna then started to speak again.
"So, this is the inside of your mind? I expected it to be...full of dreams and thoughts," she said.
"Yeah...same here," you replied.
You looked all around yourself and cannot see anything in relation to what she said. Just an empty void. If you and Luna were to go anywhere and explore your dreams and memories, you had to think of a way to find them. You asked the little princess about what to do, with her being a dream expert and all.
"So...where do we go from here?" you asked.
"Well," Kid Luna began to answer, "Like I have said before, I have never entered the mind of a human. Usually, a pony's dreams and memories are presented before me already when I enter their conscience. If I am to guess, there must be a way to explore your mind and know where we are going."
You started to think of how this mind expedition could be accomplished. Then it hit you at an instant.
"I got it!" you said, portraying yourself like a scientist who made a remarkable discovery to a problem. "We're in my mind, right? Maybe I can somehow conjure up a pathway that will enable us to explore my dream world. Sound like a plan?"
Kid Luna did like the sound of the idea. She nodded at your plan, giving you the O.K. to think of a path to travel on. So, closing your eyes and thinking real hard, you were imagining a long and narrow pathway. While you were thinking of that, you were hearing the sound of a pencil drawing on paper. You opened your eyes to see that the pathway that you thought of was being sketched right in front of you. After a couple more lines were drawn out, it seemed that the pathway to the dreamworld was ready to be walked on. You looked around to see where her highness went, but she was nowhere to be found, which worried you greatly. You've heard about getting lost in your own thoughts, but to have someone else be lost in them?
That would be quite the mind f**k.
It was then you heard small wings fluttering close to both your ears, and then you felt small legs land on your shoulders. To your relief, it was Kid Luna, who decided to ride piggyback during the journey. Giving a slight chuckle and securing both her legs with your hands, the two of you set off down the pathway towards your dream world.
About a minute later...
You come towards a cave surrounded by evergreen and large oak trees and a sign above the cavern saying "Dream Realm." It was clear that you and the princess were on the right track and began walking inside the cave.
At first the inside was dim and ominous. Kid Luna was holding on tight to your head with her little arms. You were looking left and right and saw nothing but darkness. Suddenly, you and her started hearing a faint noise further down the cavern as it echos from afar. Remaining vigilant, you continued walking deeper and deeper in the cave, the noise getting louder and louder. The two of you then saw a glow in the distance and a shadow moving in it. It was one of your dreams, no doubt, but you were unsure about what dream it specifically was. It was your job to make sure Luna didn't see anything she shouldn't see, but you realized that that may be a little more difficult than you originally thought. Walking carefully now, you proceeded towards the glow that didn't seem to change in size as you were nearing it. You were then standing roughly three feet from the small glowing cloud. The noise was muffled and the shadow was blurry. Both you and Kid Luna were puzzled by the sight.
"Hmm, a small dream. A very small dream, at that," Kid Luna said, breaking the silence between you two. "Do you normally have small dreams like this, human?"
"N-n-no, not really, your highness," you answered. Even you were confused on why you were presented with such a small little cloud of a dream. You were certain that this couldn't have been all that you had in store. "Maybe..." you reached out with one hand and proceeded to touch the cloud. The moment your finger touched the surface, the entire cloud exploded in a ginormous blast, both you and Kid Luna caught in the radius. You both covered your eyes with one arm to prevent any dust from hitting them.
After the blast, you and her opened your eyes and were shocked to see what was all around you.
It was like you guys were in a large dome, as your most precious dreams and thoughts, big and small, were circling around you. You could hear voices from one dream, and the same from another. This indeed was something out of a fantasy movie. Kid Luna fluttered off your shoulders and was standing in awe, looking at all the various dreams and memories that were presented before her. The look in her eyes was surprising. Her overly joyous expression was never seen by anyone, and yet, there you were, examining it first hand. The sparkle in her eyes, her drooping jaw, her fully erect wing-boner . She wanted to see what it was like in the mind of a human, but she would never have guessed it would be this tremendous. However, it was then one dream caught the corner of her eye.
She turned to look at it, and first noticed that it was two figures engaging in intercourse. She couldn't really tell who the couple was at first, but then noticed that the lady figure had wings, much like she did. Her hair was flowing and sparkling, just like hers. The figure then let out a pleasurable moan, signaling that she was climaxing. Her body then laid on top of the man figure's, and the image began to clear. The first thing that showed was an image of a crescent moon on the lady's fla-- wait a f**king minute.
Kid Luna now had no doubt in her mind that it was herself, in her normal adult form, laying on top of who appeared to be...you.
She turned her head to you, blush practically glowing on her cheeks, while your face was completely flushed.
"Is....is this how you truly feel about me?" she asked, pointing to the dream she had just witnessed.
You didn't know what to do now. You felt like you were going to sh*t your pants at any moment. All that you knew was that you had one job, and you couldn't even do that. So, letting out a regretful sigh, you looked at her and began to tell the truth.
*Sigh* "Yes, your highness. Yes, it is. When I saw you for the first time, I had no words to describe your beauty. No matter how hard I tried, I could never get you off my mind. You were always there, in my dreams. But perhaps I put you in the wrong kind of dreams. It's just who I am, princess. It's what I've always been thinking about every time I look at you. I bet you think of me already as those perverted colts who care only what you look like on the outside. I couldn't blame you at all for thinking that. I know that you may not care about it, but I just want you to know that I'm very, very sorry you had to see all of that. If this means that I can't see you ever again, then so be it."
You began to walk away from Kid Luna, completely disappointed that what she saw was the thing you never wanted her to see. Before you could take more than a few steps, you felt a hand lay on your right shoulder. It wasn't small like Kid Luna's. You then turned to see the princess of the night, grown up and...without any sort of clothing on. Blush was forming onto your cheeks by just seeing her au naturale. She had the same gloom expression you had before. Then, looking at you with those dark turquoise eyes of hers, she started to speak.
"You know, when I saw that dream, I began thinking you as that; someone who really doesn't care how I feel and only wants my body for sexual purposes. Maybe that is true about you, but there is one thing that sets you apart from every other colt."
"What is it?" you asked.
Luna replied, "You are...honest about yourself. That is something I have not seen in a very long time from any pony. You are different, but I believe that it is good that you are. Just like...me." Upon saying this, a tear began rolling down from her right eye, and then her left. A small smile could be seen on her face, and you began to do the same.
"Let's get out of here," you said softly, the whole place surrounding the two of you beginning to sparkle and brighten up. Luna pulled you towards her, her breasts squishing against your chest, and before exiting your mind, she gave you a pleasant kiss on your lips.
You opened your eyes, gasping for a deep breath of air. Sitting straight up, you could feel sweat running down your brows and chest. You then smelled smoke coming from your chest. Taking a quick look, you could see that the ritual symbol had been burned onto your body. It didn't hurt to touch it, but it felt warm.
Guess you could consider it a tattoo without the painful process.
You began to look around yourself, noticing that you were still in princess Luna's chambers, and the moon still shining from outside the balcony's open doors. You were wondering how much time had passed during your little mind trip. You felt like it was at least an hour or two. You then turned your attention to Luna, who had also just woken up. You were happy that the both of you got out safely without anything catastrophic happening in the process. The princess then turned her head to you, letting that same smile form on her face. The both of you sat on the bed, not saying a word for several seconds. You decided to break the ice.
"Well, I must say. That was an...interesting experiment we did," you said, rubbing the back of your head.
"Y-y-yes. Indeed it was," Luna replied.
The two of you were feeling more and more awkward, until you decided to stand up from the bed and grab your shirt from the floor. Turning to the princess, you said:
"I....guess I should start heading to my chambers now. Got a big day ahead of me, and stuff...See you at the ball, maybe?"
"Oh, most certainly, dear human," she replied in a rather nervous tone.
You put your white penny tee on and began walking out the door and into the hallways, but before completely exiting Luna's chambers, you turned to her one last time.
"Oh, and with what happened tonight, don't worry. The secret --"
"--is safe with me," the both of you said almost simultaneously. A small blush was on both of your faces. Weird to say, but you could feel the awkwardness lingering in the air. Letting off a slight chuckle, you grabbed the door knob and pulled the door closed. Shaking your head to rid yourself of that...interesting moment, you returned to your journey to your room so that you can earn yourself a good night's rest.
As you were walking down the halls, the moonlight still beaming through the windows, you started to hear faint whispers. You turned around to see if anyone was behind you, but ominously, there was no one. You were beginning to feel tense and uneasy, the whispers somehow getting louder. You decided to walk a little faster towards your door, the whispers now becoming different voices inside your head. You didn't know why this was happening, but you wanted it to stop. You were now running towards your room, praying that the voices stop. When you reached the door to your room, you rapidly opened it and slammed it right behind you, the voices stopping immediately. Breathing heavily, you slowly went to your sink and mirror, a dim light shining over your face. You tried to see if there was anything wrong with you. You checked your eyes, the inside of your mouth, the standard procedure to see if you were sick in any way, shape or form. After seeing that everything seemed fine to you, you washed your face with cold water.
After drying off with a used towel, you took a look at your reflection one last time, seeing the same face that you saw this morning. You were hoping that the 'thought experiment' didn't have a serious side affect to it or else there could be a problem. Taking off your flip-flops and wearing only your undergarments, you slowly lied on your bed, the rusty springs being as loud as they could be, and pulled the stained blanket over yourself. Turning off the sink light, you proceeded to close your eyes and go to sleep.
You were back in Luna's chambers, this time in your fancy tux with the bow tie loosened. The princess was in her bed, completely nude, waiting for you to join her. Your clothes dissolved away and you jumped right onto the bed. Then the both of you began embracing each other, pleasure running through each other's bodies. It was until the princess of the sun intervened in the matter, completely full of rage by what she is witnessing. She was so angry that she blasted a beam of light that hits your right shoulder. The pain was intense, but then you find yourself in a hospital bed, Celestia being sorry for what happened to you. So sorry that in fact you were suddenly in her chambers and she was riding you cowgirl style. The both of you reach the climax and felt each other's bodies against one another. It was then you could hear the sound of insect wings fluttering away and the sound of glass breaking. You go to see that a window in the hallway was shattered by whatever was escaping. You were unsure about what was going on at the time, but then you heard a loud ringing in your ears. What was weird was that it sounded like an alarm clock.
You opened your eyes wide and the ringing had stopped. You looked around your room to see if anything represented an alarm clock, only to see the same shattered remains of your previous one lying on the floor.
I really gotta clean that up, you thought. You started to rub the side of your forehead and run your fingers through your short hair.
*Ugh* "What time is it?" you wondered. You looked at the bottom of your door to see a bit of sunlight breaking through. Getting out of the bed, you opened your door a slight bit to see that the sun was barely rising over the hills. It seems that you managed to wake up earlier than usual. You didn't know why, but after quietly closing the door, you decided to get ready for work. So, grabbing a towel and your toothbrush, you proceeded to your assigned bathroom...or so you thought...
