Chapters Rain is a beautiful thing. Poems are written about the sound of it on a windowsill, and there are songs sung to it. Farming earth ponies rely on the rain for their crops, and pegasi are bound to the schedule of the rainfalls in many ways. As a unicorn I never relied on the rain for anything, however… in the end I suppose that makes unicorns an oddity. We rely on no weather, we're not dependent on the seasons to fill our bellies or to keep us warm or cool. We are in many ways seperate from nature… I feel that I fit that role more than most. I am not a farmer nor do I harvest the power of the weather. I run a boutique… that is tied closely only to where ponies come to buy my creations. I am not tied to a waterway or a trade route, or the fertile land. Instead I attempt to tame the fickle thing that is the sense of beauty that is present in every pony great and small.
I like to think that I know beauty better than most. I am constantly praised by my friends for my grasp on what courts the eyes and hearts of my customers. Although, sometimes I am at a loss as to whether they are truthful. I talk to Sweetie Belle, but she really is of little help. Her taste is simple, since as young filly she knows what draws the eye only on the most basic level. She can't tell me why she enjoys a design, merely that she enjoys the creation of her older brother. Dusk Shine is likewise oriented. He enjoys my workings, but in the end he's of no use as a critic. Butterscotch as well. It fills me with an immense sense of frustration. I cannot tell what makes my work successful. Thus, I can't improve.
I sat at my desk near the window as the rain came down outside. I felt like a coat with its pockets full of lead had been draped over my shoulders. There was this urge… I wanted to move up in the world. The natural desire to go beyond, improve. Dusk… he was a prince. Had been for a year. Now… what of myself? Nothing had changed back here in this old town. I made a fair fortune here with the townsfolk, but I never felt like I had improved. My work was stagnant, and my designs come out as my same style every time. Every piece of clothing is like the beat of a metronome, the same dull click. To these ponies and my friends, they see it as another beautiful piece of art. But I saw all the same things, again and again. And the torture was in trying to tell why I felt that way.
I've tried everything to try and change. Even purposefully used designs I thought were awful. But it still felt like… mine. It could still easily be seen as my own work. The thought of putting out another garment filled me with frustration, and I slammed my hoof on the table. Maybe the sensation would spark something in me. Nothing came. I looked out the window to see the fillies and colts walking home with their bags over their heads. The rain was merciless however, and soaked them despite their best efforts. Sweetie Belle had just got home… she would most likely run upstairs to avoid me as usual. She equated me to work on weekdays… which made sense, I did ask her to help me often. I stood, walking out of my workroom and to the stairs. She was walking up the stairs as I arrived. I called out to her, smiling.
“How was school? And do you need a towel? It's raining pretty hard...”
The filly looked back at me and shrugged before saying. “I'm fine… uh, it was good I guess? Diamond Tiara got detention, so that was good.”
“Oh… what for?”
Sweetie Belle smirked, seeming a bit happy that the bully had gotten in trouble. “Well, she threw away someone's whole lunch on 'accident'… so yeah, nobody believed that. Not even Cheerilee.”
I nodded and turned, walking back to my workroom. That seemed a bit odd… normally the bully was honest with her misdeeds. Most of the time she wasn't even trying to hide her maliciousness. She was the kind of pony that didn't need to, really. So why would she lie in this case? I put it out of my mind… I had more to worry about. Like how to not be stuck in this town forever, where my career would never progress. I looked at my next order and silently fought down the urge to call back and turn it down before burning the dress. I hated the whole thing… it was everything I was coming to hate about myself. The same shoulder slope and the stitch pattern, the way the legs were highlighted by the light colors… it was the same thing I always did. And I could turn around, change all those things and end up with it looking like another thing I had done in the past as well.
I sat at my desk again… looking out the window. There I saw a small filly playing in the puddles the rain. I smiled, observing her being happy. I wish I could be that content… with just playing with water. Along came another filly as she played, one that I recognized. The pink filly saw the other, and smiled. She went over to her, then motioned for her to follow. I blinked, then saw her trip the happier one into a patch of mud. The pink one laughed and walked off, leaving the other to sulk, now filthy. I looked down at my table… then I got up, not caring for my half-groomed mane in the light of the small pony being bullied. I went out my front door, holding an umbrella with my magic.
The filly sniffed, then sneezed as I drew near, most likely coming down with a cold for playing in the rain too long. I walked over, then held out the umbrella to her, allowing her a break from the intense downpour. She smiled up at me, and I gave a smile in return. She was taller than most her age… it explained her rather toothpick-like legs and thin frame. She must have just grown quickly. I knew the feeling, at that age. She looked to the side, then up at me again.
“Thank you mister… I, uh… wasn't looking where I was going.” She lied rather well.
“I saw what happened… there's no need to cover for anyone like that. I'm Elusive by the way, nice to meet you.” I said, motioning for her to stand up.
She looked away, caught in her lie. “Oh… I thought nobody was watching. Besides, you look like someone who would know her father… I didn't think that it'd do me any good to tell you.”
“Not all of us are cut from the same cloth.” I said, shaking my head slightly. “Now, is your home close by? I can walk you there in case she comes back. She gives my younger sister trouble too.”
“I can go on my own. Thanks though.” She said, giving me my umbrella back before walking off.
I sighed, watching the filly walk off. I felt a bit misjudged by her… but I had at least done the right thing in trying to help her as best I could. I most definetely would be telling the school about what had happened, though. Solaris above knows that saying something to her parents would be an exercise in futility. I decided to walk back inside, then go to my room. I had a long shower to get the water and mud off of me. Then, I went to bed… at not even six in the evening. I lacked the drive to do any more than that. The depression I felt seemed to return to me every time I saw one of my works, or every time that I saw one of the model fitting mannequins that littered the bottom floor of the store and the corners of my own workroom. There was even one in my own bedroom… though it was at the far side, the most distance from my bed it could be. Still… it felt like it was haunting me as I tried to find rest…
I woke the next morning feeling like I had just been held underwater, gasping for air and tearing at my sheets. The mannequin that normally stood at the far end of my room was knocked over, and had snapped from its stand, leaving it stuck on the floor, laying on its side. I regained my breath, looking around. Nothing else had changed. I had a horrible headache at that moment, my skull feeling like someone was chiseling away at the back of my head with a steady beat of a hammer. I groaned as the migraine echoed from the base of my spine all the way to my sinuses in pulses timed to my heartbeat. I stood, walking to my bathroom and opening my medicine cabinet. I took some painkillers, then returned to my room.
The mannequin was… oddly back to normal. I stared at it for a moment. Before I had left I swore it had fallen over and was broken… now it was once again standing upright. I shook my head and decided that it was best I didn't think about it. Not acknowleging my slipping grip on reality surely would keep the situation from worsening, that was how it worked in my novels after all. It was important that you did your best to act as if nothing is wrong… after all what would Sweetie Belle think of me if I were to come to her with this? I'd sound as if I was going crazy… or maybe just making it up.
Instead I walked out of my room, going downstairs. The sun was just barely over the horizon, letting in enough light to navigate my home by, but not much else. I went to my workroom and sat at my desk, letting out a sigh. Today I would call my client back and tell her that the dress was done, then arrange for pickup and payment. That was all I felt like I could manage. The next on my list could wait… she didn't need her gown until the fall anyways. In a few minutes I heard the sounds of small hooves on the stairs and knew Sweetie was up and getting ready for school. I stood and went out to the kitchen, smiling to her and pouring her a bowl of cereal. That earned me an odd look.
Normally I wasn't up this early… as a matter of fact ever since I had opened my boutique I had kept a fairly constant schedule, one that didn't let Sweetie see me until the evening due to how much I worked myself. I could see how this was a tad… puzzling to her.
“Hey, Elusive… you haven't really been acting normal lately...” My younger sibling said.
I stopped, holding the bowl with magic. I set it on the table, but didn't say anything. It was better not to alarm her, or say anything, really… after all it was just a rough patch, I'd work through it like always. This one was just a bit rougher than normal. She took the bowl and began eating. I had one myself, eating with her for the first time since I can remember. She didn't stop looking at me. Once she was done she sat at the table with me. I stared into my bowl, not knowing what to do or say. A few bits of wheat were left in the bowl, floating about the spoon's neck as it sat submerged beneath the surface. The clock on the wall ticked. Birds chirped happily outside.
“… are you okay?” Were the only words that reached me.
“Wha… come again?” I said, having missed the start of her sentence.
She seemed even more worried, now. “ Elusive, you're not acting like you normally do! You aren't busy anymore, you don't go outside, you barely write to your friends, and your last dress was due a week ago. I really need to know… are you okay? You're never up this early… I can't even remember you ever eating breakfast with me like this.”
I choked on my words as I replied. “Of course! What's the matter with me having breakfast with my little sister…? I just wanted to spend more time with you...”
She gave me a look that broke my heart. Her eyes looked like she was looking into my soul, trying to find what on earth was bothering me so much. In truth I was anything but okay. But she didn't need me to tell her that. After all I swore at that moment she knew. I was in shambles, inside and out. I hadn't brushed or combed my mane this morning… a practice I had done since I was a colt. I hadn't done anything with my tail, and I wasn't arranging the mannequins in the store window like I normally did this time of morning. I hadn't touched a sewing machine in a week, since I had been done with my last dress and simply never called to report it finished. I had just been drawing… and throwing designs away. The bin in my workroom was overflowing with papers of things I wanted to make… but I just couldn't bear to find out that it was just as unsatisfying as all the others.
“Brother… I hope that you're telling me the truth...” Sweetie Belle said as she took her bowl to the sink.
I nodded, smiling in the most hollow way. She ignored it and went about getting ready for school. I watched her, and the moment she was about to leave she turned back to me and waved a hoof. I waved back. The moment she left and the door latched I set my head on the table and did my best to hold back the sense of helplessness that was threatening to overwhelm me. It was the only thing I could feel… like I was drowning in my own ineptitude. I hated myself for making her worry. All for me not being creative enough to think of a good enough design. One to truly satisfy me, make me feel like an actual artist again…
I woke with my head on the workroom desk. I saw the rain as I sat up and felt the temptation to rest again. I honestly didn't have any urge to sleep anymore, but it was better than feeling like that. In front of me were cups of coffee, crumpled papers and pencils. The sound of the rain was relaxing… put my mind at ease. It helped me forget what this room was for. If I closed my eyes, I could almost forget what I had been doing in there. I sat with my head down again for a while… just listening to the sound of the raindrops on the roof and windowsill...
The sounds of foals roused me from my meditation, causing me to look up, across my desk and out the window again. They walked hapilly home from school, all talking amongst each other. They travelled in groups, save for one small pair of two. Those ones looked at the others, seeking out the those that strayed too far away. Much like a predator would wait for the weak and foolish to wander away from their herd, the pink and silver fillies watched for wanderers… and they found one. The same filly as yesterday, the lanky pegasus filly Diamond Tiara had tripped.
Seeing the pegasus walk her own way, the two bullies followed her. I wondered whether to help or not… I had only come in the aftermath last time, but with there being two of them now… I stood, getting my coat and umbrella before walking out into the street. I locked the door, but Sweetie had her own key so she could get in whenever she returned. I cast a charm on myself, lending myself near invisibility in the rain. The only betrayal of my presence was how the droplets hit and rolled off of my jacket and umbrella. With that I walked off after the three fillies.
I caught up to them quickly with my longer strides, the two tailing behind the pegasus at a slower walk. I matched their pace, walking along the front of the houses in order to make it more difficult to notice the absence of rain. Diamond Tiara began to hum as she walked… a cant that I was familiar with, but couldn't quite put my hooof on. As we walked the slate gray filly decided to speed up, gaining on the filly before suddenly cutting her off. She gave a false smile to the pegasus, now standing in front of her.
“Hey there Thunderclap… kinda interesting seeing you here. I thought you flew home these days.” Silver Spoon said, keeping the conversation relatively normal to start.
The taller pegasus looked away as she spoke. “It's raining… as much as I wanted to it's a lot of work to fly in the weather.”
Silver Spoon nodded, seeing as how the developing wings on her back would have a very rough time getting through the rain. The pegasus tried to move past her, only to have the filly step into her way again. Diamond Tiara stood behind Thunderclap, waiting for a signal to do something. In the meantime the slate gray filly chided her.
“Y'know I was always kind of wondering about your name. It sounds a bit like a boy's name, doesn't it? Very bold, strong… cool. But you're a filly, so it's a bit off.”
The taller filly looked down at her, losing patience with the conversation. “It's the name my parents gave to me, and I like it. Can I go now?”
On that cue Diamond Tiara walked around the pegasus, her normal superior posture making her almost at eye level with the pegasus. She cleared her throat, then levitated a great deal of mud from a nearby puddle. Thunderclap sensed something was wrong, as anyone would, and moved to walk away. Silver Spoon stepped in front of her again, stopping her just as her partner dropped a heaping pile of mud over the top of the filly. The two snickered at their taller classmate, Diamond speaking.
“There, boys like playing in the mud, right? We'll be sure to tell Snails that you like digging in the dirt like he does, maybe he'll think you're on his level.” The rich filly said, her subtle jab at Thunderclap's height and class hitting its mark.
“Yeah, try not to strain those delicate little wings of yours, carrying that giraffe body.” Silver Spoon added, a bit less eloquently than her accomplice.
I felt the urge to jump in just then… the sight of an adult in this situation would at least give the bullies pause, maybe make them walk away. But that would make things worse for Thunderclap, in the end. Her pride was already wounded, me rescuing her would only worsen matters. So I decided to wait. After a few more jabs at her the two bullies wandered off, leaving Thunderclap in the rain, cold and caked in mud. Once I was alone with the pegasus I released the charm, walking over.
Thunderclap was looking at her hooves, her mane shrouding her face. I reached out, resting a hoof on her shoulder. She jumped a bit, looking up at me. She relaxed a bit once she realized it was just me, one eye obscured by a mane coated in mud.
“Where did… did you see that?” She asked.
I nodded, using magic to seperate the mud from her mane and fur as I spoke. “Can you make it home without catching a cold or getting a fever?”
The filly, not wearing a jacket or having an umbrella, said. “Of course… I told you I live close by. Why do you care?”
“I would like to talk to your parents about this… it's getting worse.” I said, making sure her fur was clear with magic.
Once all the dirt was out of it she had a rather charming gray mane and fur the color of creamed coffee. She looked away from me, not caring to look me in the eyes.
“Well they aren't going to be here tonight. So you're out of luck.”
I blinked, looking down at her. “What do you mean? Are they going out tonight? It is Friday… I'd understand.”
“No, I mean I live with my older sister and my parents live in Canterlot.” She said.
“Ah… so, might I talk to your older sister?”
She looked away from me, turning to leave. “No, she probably isn't there anyways… she goes to all sorts of parties… she's supposed to watch me, but she never does.”
I looked at the ground, feeling bad for having brought it up. “I'm sorry…”
“Don't be. Just… stop following me okay? I can handle it on my own.”
I stopped at those words. I had felt like that just this morning… telling myself that the way I felt was temporary. I told myself I could handle it, and that everything would be just fine. Of course the entire time I had told myself that I had known the truth. I was sinking, I knew that I was falling slowly, and the way that this filly had just replied to me felt like what I would say. It gave me pause, made me see myself clearly for the first time in a long while. Thunderclap mirrored me, emotionally. So to leave her to this felt like doing the same to myself.
“Are you sure? You can stay the night with my younger sister, you most likely know her from school. Sweetie Belle?” I asked, worried for Thunderclap being alone at home, especially after what had just happened.
“I said no! I'm fine!” She said, walking away into the downpour without me.
I moved to walk after her… then stopped. She wasn't okay, she knew it. I knew too, but she couldn't be helped if she wouldn't let me. I turned, and walked back to by boutique. I took off my coat and put away my umbrella, looking at the clock. It had only been twenty minutes. I paused, then moved to walk upstairs. At the top of the steps were one of my mannequins, blocking the way. It seemed to look down at me, staring.
I levitated it out of the way, walking to Sweetie Belle's room before knocking. She answered just a short while later, looking up at me curiously. I cleared my throat a bit, then spoke.
“Can I talk to you about something?”
She tilted her head to the side, but nodded. “Sure, uh… what about?”
“Well, I've been seeing one of your classmates, I think her name is Thunderclap, walking home near here. She seems nice, but Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon have given her a hard time for two days in a row now. Could you and your friends maybe… help her out a bit? Walk with her when she goes home?”
Sweetie Belle nodded. “Okay, we can do that, but what do I say to her? And doesn't she already live with somepony else? Can't she walk her home like you used to?”
“It's not like that… her sister isn't home much. Just, do this for me? Tell her that I said to do it.”
“Okay, if you say so…”
She shut the door, leaving me to wonder what would happen tomorrow. I decided to go to my room. On the top floor of my home I found a unique sense of belonging. I could look out at Ponyville and feel above my problems, like they were as small and insignificant as the ants on the ground so far below. The mannequin that I had seen this morning was now over by my bed. I ignored it, instead going to my bathroom and turning on the shower. I needed to relax...
The sun crept over the horizon, signalling the new day. I got out of bed, blinking to myself. I felt awful as usual, and had barely slept. I kept waking to find the mannequin somewhere else in my room, most of the time not faced towards me. I ignored it, and got up to head downstairs. I didn't brush my mane, leaving it slightly curly as normal. I found Sweetie Belle getting ready to go to Fluttershy's house, and hummed to myself as I ate breakfast. I told myself that it was a new day, and that it would be best to start it with a good attitude. Once Sweetie had left I waited a bit before looking around. The other mannequins had moved recently too… all of them seemed to face the kitchen.
I thought nothing of it and walked my way to the workroom. There I sat down and began to draw, whatever came to my mind at the time. I drew Sweetie Belle, the Gala dress that I had made for her too. I drew Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon, then Thunderclap. Then Dusk and Butterscotch. As I drew my time away, my mind wandered back to my work. My client would be here later on, to pay for the dress and then take it home. I was secretly glad to be rid of it. It didn't have what I looked for in a clothes. It felt too samey, the next tired thing to come out of a designer boutique.
I turned my thoughts back onto the track of my younger sister and her friends, which I hoped encompassed Thunderclap soon enough. I knew that although they might be aquaintances, the pegasus most likely wouldn't be the kind of filly to stick around the three constantly. She seemed more like the kind to simply come and go, which was alright, I supposed. I sat and stared at my drawing of the pegasus. I heard a sound and glanced around the room, seeing that one of the mannequins had moved slightly to the left. Something clicked in my head. I looked from my drawing of Thunderclap, then back to the statuette. The proportions were… unmistakably different.
Staring back at the drawing, the filly was without a doubt different from a normal pony. That was what the mannequins were meant for; to emulate the normal size and general structure of a normal equine. The way her neck was, it wasn't typical of a filly her age, either. I took out a bunch of my model references from in my desk, which had photos of all the ponies I had ever made an outfit for. As I turned the pages, none of the ponies I had ever worked for matched her features, in my memory or in my drawing. Even those I'd made for fillies her age didn't match. Her neck had too much definition, the shoulders were very strangely sloped, having an odd rise and fall in the middle of her upper front legs. Her back legs likewise didn't match, which I had originally just thought were the result of a growth spurt, didn't seem to physically make sense on her body.
I pondered this for a moment. What would cause her to look like that? It was almost like she wasn't a pony at all. It made more sense for someone of her build to be a deer of some kind, or perhaps an antelope. Despite that thought, her face was that of a pony, and she bore the wings of a pegasus. I turned to the window again, waiting… she normally flew by on days like this. In the night the rain had stopped, but the clouds weren't set to be cleared until tomorrow, so it remained overcast. I saw her as she went by, just for a few seconds. It was enough to confirm my suspicions. She was in no way structured like a normal pony would be at her age. I had heard that certain earth ponies from outside of Equestria were built like she was. Taller and more leanly muscled than most. Almost like Solaris and Lune were. But she was also a pegasus… so one of her parents were most likely one of those earth ponies.
I nodded to myself, tapping my hoof on the desk. That was the best guess I could make without saying something ridiculous like she was some kind of strange nightmare creature. That was about as likely as me becoming royalty. Still, I got a chuckle out of thinking she was some sort of vampire. It just put all my previous actions in a very odd context. I moved on from the thought after a moment, hearing a knock at the front door of my boutique. I stood, walking to the front door. There stood the mare that had ordered her dress from me.
She was a unicorn mare by the name of Swift Click, although she had insisted on me just calling her Swift on the phone. She was about my own age, with light blue eyes and a warm smile. She was a secretary for one of the more regal residents of the castle, making her a rather important client. She had a golden coat and a mane that looked like it could be made of honey. She saw me and her smile settled on her face, her hoof extending to me. I took it in a light shake as she began to speak.
“I trust the dress is ready like you told me yesterday?” She said.
I felt a bit of hope that she would keep this brief, smiling back. “Of course, it's hanging in my workroom as we speak.”
She nodded and let herself in, passing me. I let out a sigh, having wanted to not have her in. Still, I went to go get the dress. I handled it with magic, only by the hanger as I held it out to her. She admired the work as she took it, smiling at my craftmanship. Her look of wonder felt hollow to me. She didn't know quite how it felt, knowing this one was just the same as all the others. Still, she reached in her saddlebag and set a large sack of bits out on the table. I took it and weighed her payment, confirming that it was indeed the correct amount of bits. With that she looked back to me.
“This is quite fine work, Elusive… thank you. Might I ask what inpired you to do so well on it?”
I bit my tongue to stop the sharp retort from spilling out. Nothing had inpired that dress. Her paying me had put me through the motions of creating it. Just as a foal makes an art project only for the grade they got in class, this creation of mine was just something I had made. There was no love in doing it, it was in no way inspired or beyond my normal level of work. It was just the same as every other creation to be made at my hooves. In my heart it may as well have come from a factory.
“I don't really know…” I replied.
“Well, whatever made you create this dress, try and keep it close to your heart. The world needs more artists like you.”
She turned and left as I stood there, looking at the floor. I didn't feel like an artist, or that dress had come from somewhere inside of me. Not a single thought or bit of emotional effort had gone into that creation. I had been an artist back then, when I felt so much passion for my work. Now it was just a motion I went through as the days went by. It felt hollow and empty, despite all the joy I had once felt making those outfits.
A knock roused me from my sleep, my head lifting from the desk. Sweetie Belle was at the door, looking across the room at me. Beside her stood her friends, Scootaloo and Apple Bloom. Both looked at me like I was a snake that might bite them. I had the distinct feeling that Sweetie had told them about my recent behavior. She spoke up, seeming a bit nervous.
“Hey, uh… Elusive, can they stay the night here? Butterscotch had to go to the market to get more food for Angel, and I kinda wanted to show them that cool magic trick I was working on in my room.”
I nodded, standing groggily. “Of course they can Sweetie Belle… did everything go alright with Thunderclap?”
The three looked at each other, then Apple Bloom spoke up. “Well you see, uh… we followed her. She was real mad when we told her that you had asked us to do it, but she let us tag along.”
I nodded understandingly. “Did Diamond Tiara give you any trouble?”
The farmhand shook her head. “Not once she saw us walking with her.”
“Okay… that's all I wanted to know. Thank you three.”
They headed off to Sweetie Belle's room, leaving me to sit down again and think. The more I thought about it, the more I felt bad for that filly. I knew what it was like, not having parents to confide in, and having nobody to rely on… it made me feel like I was letting her suffer the same things I had. As the element of generosity it felt like I was betraying my title to do nothing about it. I stood and walked upstairs, knocking on Sweetie Belle's door. She answered a moment later with her friends. I cleared my throat, wondering how to ask.
“Can you tell me a bit more about Thunderclap? I'm thinking about going to her house, maybe try and talk to her sister. That might be the best thing for me to do… instead of moping around here.”
The three took a moment, then nodded. Apple Bloom spoke first. “So uh, what do you want to know?”
“What is her Cutie Mark? And where does she live?”
Sweetie Belle spoke this time. “Well her Cutie Mark is a hoofmark with a hammer inside of it. I dunno what it means, she didn't talk to us at all when we walked. She lives on Saddlesack Street, in this little house with empty pots out front. I mean, they're filled with dirt but there's nothing planted in them.”
“Alright… thank you three.”
I closed the door, walking downstairs. I got my jacket and walked out, heading into town again. A few ponies milled about here and there, but the streets were mostly vacant on the damp, overcast day. I smiled to myself and walked in peace, nothing but the sound of my hooves accompanying me. I reached a rather bland, unpainted house a few minutes later. It was as Sweetie had said, with planters and pots with no plants in them littering the front of the house. I walked up and knocked on the door, drying my hooves on the mat. I waited… and after many long moments nobody answered. I knocked again, this time to have Thunderclap answer halfway through, as if she had been waiting for me to give up and leave.
“What do you want? Wasn't it enough to have your little sister and her friends walking me home?” She said.
“Is your big sister here?” I asked, sidestepping the question.
“No, she's at her colt-friend's house. What do you want?” The irritable filly grated.
“To check on you… and ask if you need a place to stay that isn't here. I know what it's like to have nobody to turn to, so I wanted to make sure that you know I'm always there if you need me.”
“You're asking me to come live with you? Creep…” She said, although she clearly wasn't even remotely threatened by me.
“More with my sister than me. I work all day… or at least I try to. I've been having trouble lately, keeping motivated. That's another part of why I came here… I know what it's like when your family doesn't care to be around you, and I really know what it feels like when you think there's nobody ask for help.”
Her expression shifted from irritable to understanding in a second, like she had thought that just the other day. A moment later she snapped out of it, shaking her head. I had hit the mark though, she knew that I was right in guessing how she felt.
“Thunderclap… how long has your sister been at her colt-friend's house?” I asked.
“Two weeks… since I started school.” She said, looking at her hooves.
“Alright… it's up to you if you want to at least stay the night or not. I just hate watching somepony go through what I did.”
For a few moments she stood there… then motioned for me to come in. I made sure my hooves were dry on the mat before I entered her house. She shut the door, turning on the light to the entrance hallway. A staircase led upstairs on the left of me, and to my right was the living room. At the end of the hall was a dark kitchen. Most of the curtains were tightly drawn. It almost looked like night in there. She walked past me, towards the kitchen. I went to the living room, noticing her Cutie Mark on the way there. It was as Sweetie had said, a hoofmark with warhammer inside of it. It made me curious as to what she was talented with… although I assumed that it was some form of physical gift.
She returned with a pitcher of tea and a glass for me and her. I poured my own, while she didn't seem to be thirsty at the moment.Once we were settled she sat with the light dimmed above us, watching me sip the tea. I was trying to be polite, but also let her move along however she wanted to. I had some inclination as to why she had brought me inside. The leather couch was comfortable, and the walls were painted a nice, creamy light brown that matched her coat. Almost like coffee with milk added, in a way. After a few minutes she cleared her throat.
“Anyways, I wanted to say something. Just because I let you in doesn't mean I agree with what you asked. But I get where you're coming from… it sucks, being here alone all the time. It was the same thing back in Canterlot. My parents worked all the time. They were almost too tired to come see me off at the train station when I came here, since it was later at night. My sister… doesn't think I need her at all. She just comes here once a week to give me groceries and sometimes money for something I might want.”
“So you lived here on your own for two weeks? What if something had happened? Like a fire, or a burglary?” I asked, surprised that she had managed all on her own without going to someone. Then again, she seemed a bit older than most of the other students. Certainly older than Diamond Tiara or Apple Bloom.
“I'd be fine.” She said, looking away.
I saw the uncertainty in that statement and didn't pry, not wanting to deepen any anxiety she might have about being alone. After that I simply nodded and let the conversation settle… I sipped more tea, and things seemed to return to a calm tone after a while of sitting in the comfortable silence. After that, I decided to take her mind off of her family by switching topics.
“So Thunderclap, that Cutie Mark is rather unique. Do you know what it means?” I smiled, tapping my hoof on my glass.
“Uh, yeah… I got it when me and my Dad were messing around with one of those carnival machines that test how strong you are. He gave it a good kick, but when I got up to try and buck it, I ended up breaking the machine. He thought it was just badly made, so we apologized to the carnival manager and he paid for it. So we did the hammer slamming one after that, and I cracked the bell at the top of the tower. Then, there it was, the Cutie Mark. My legs are just really strong. I once broke a sidewalk, but it hurt my leg bad enough that we had to go to the hospital, so I do my best not to do that again.”
The fact that she commanded such a unique gift of such explosive force was interesting to me. It put her actions with Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon into a different light. Instead of being two bullies that collectively out-matched her, she most likely had put in a considerable amount of effort to not hurt one of them, rather badly. Which for a filly her age was… both very mature, but also very concerning. At that age it took a certain amount of mental conditioning to just sit there and let something like that happen to you, if you knew you could do something. It was a lack of self-esteem… that was what made me feel acutely bad about what had happened. She had acted out of one part wisdom, and two parts lack of love for herself. I let the conversation settle again as I thought about that… maybe it wasn't her first time being bullied like this? Canterlot was renowned for its unforgiving public schools… so that might explain her instinct to simply let Diamond Tiara have her cruel form of fun.
After a while she looked to me and asked. “What made you come to Ponyville? Why not Canterlot or maybe some other big city?”
I sighed, smiling to myself. “Well you see, I found this particular shop I live above to be very nice… in additon to being rather low priced at the time. But I spent a lot to make her into the marvel she is today. The most well decorated home and storefront in all of Ponyville, most say.”
“So you got it because it was cheap?”
I nodded, letting the perceptive filly have that. “Yes… it was what I could afford starting off on my own. But then, I had to take care of Sweetie Belle… so, my dreams of simply saving to move my shop to Canterlot had to be put on hold so I could let her attend school here, and have friends. I'll let her finish her school and then go out on her own before I go. Until then, I'm here.
She looked at her hooves, seeming more than a bit touched by that. “My sister would never do something like that for me… she didn't hesitate to move to her friend's house and leave me here.”
I wanted to defend her older sibling is some way, so that maybe if her older sister ever wanted to came back and try and rebuild their relationship, there might be a chance. I couldn't find the will to though. Instead I sipped my tea, wondering just what to say at that point. To change things over to idle chatter, and not let her simmer in the thought of her sister being a bad sibling, I diverted her attention.
“You know my younger sister Sweetie Belle, right?”
Thunderclap nodded. “Yeah, she sat near me at lunch on my first day of school here in Ponyville. But she's two grades below me.”
At that I tilted my head to the side. That meant she was a year from graduating primary school. It made her significantly older than Sweetie, by about two or three years. With that thought in mind, I returned to my tea… wondering about my question to her. Would she want to stay with me and Sweetie? I knew it was a bold thing to do but it was better than letting her suffer living alone at her age. Especially with all the problems that came with that, and having no real family to rely on unless it was for basic necessities. She seemed to take the words out of my mouth as she spoke up again.
“I think that spending a day or two with Sweetie or you shouldn't be too bad… thanks Elusive.” She said in a bit of a stiff way, as if she was unbending her pride to say that.
I beamed, happily setting down my glass. “Thank you, it means a lot to me. My friends and I try and do what we can to make things better.”
“Who are your friends?”
I was a bit conflicted… I didn't want to reveal that I was the Element of Generosity. Despite Applejack teasing me for waving my status over the heads of others sometimes, I did try to retain a sense of humility. I guessed it wouldn't hurt to just say my friend's names, though. I purposefully left out Dusk Shine… he would be a dead giveaway.
“Well the only friend I have that lives in town any more is Bubble Berry. Applejack and Rainbow Blitz live outside of Ponyville. Butterscotch is a long walk to the edge of the Everfree Forest.”
She nodded, thinking nothing of the list of names I had given her. She most likely didn't know our names from all of the things we've done around Equestria, as most of the reporting on our exploits had redacted our identities at the instruction of Solaris. Only Dusk Shine is really ever attributed to the Elements, due to being a public figure these days. He did deserve it… he held us together at the worst of times.
I stood, yawning. I had gotten used to sleeping at all hours of the day, leaving my sleep schedule as good as shattered. I would nap here, laze about there… it was making me think about Applejack again, how lazy I would seem in his eyes. I shrugged off that feeling and walked over to the wall, looking at a photo that hung there. It was of her family, and all of them seemed strangely happy. It made me wonder where things had gone wrong. Maybe something had happened between them all? I was taken from my thoughts by the sound of Thunderclap's voice.
“Anyways, uh… when should I come over? I don't want to just barge in…”
I shrugged my shoulders. “You're welcome any time, You'll be bunking in Sweetie Belle's room with her. There's a spare bed in my basement I can set up for you in there, so you wouldn't need to share with her or her friends.”
She got up, walking over to the thermostat and turning it off before walking to the stairs. She went up to her room, I would assume. I stood there, tapping my hoof on the hardwood floor. I admired the décor of this place… very nice for a house with such an unappealing outer shell. The filly came down with her school things and a bit more packed into her saddlebag about ten minutes later. Thunderclap had a note with her, setting it on the table in the living room. She went for the door, and I opened it for her with my magic as I followed her out. We walked is silence across town. It left me to think to myself, about this filly. She could hardly be called a filly at the age she was at. Nearly a mare. A teenager by all means. She would be old enough to choose her own path in life in just three years or so. It left me to wonder what I was really doing for her… but I pushed that thought away. I had done what I should have, taken her under my care after she had been pushed out by her family.
I had done my duty as the Element of Generosity, and given support for her when she had none. Dusk Shine would have wholeheartedly approved my actions. I had done everything right. Which left me to wonder… why did I feel a lingering sense of self-doubt?
I woke to the sound of snoring across the room. Opening one eye, I saw that one of Sweetie's friends were the source of the awful sound. In the dim light of the bedroom I could make out Apple Bloom, her mouth open as she rolled onto her side for the third time that night. I wasn't tired at that point, so there was no point to going back to sleep. Even if I managed it, by the time I had gotten myself relaxed one of them would be making noise again. I rolled out of my bed, getting my long legs stretched for the day as a cold chill came over me. I normally kept the thermostat tuned to only switch on when it was tremendously hot, but here At Elusive's house he seemed to prefer it a bit colder. Not that I minded at all, I was just well adapted to the heat. My older sister tended to get upset at me if I ran up the bill at my own house. Price didn't seem to be an object to my caretaker though.
Thinking of him made me wonder what he was doing at this time of morning. He was so odd… and even living here for two days now I didn't understand him. He was so hard to get a read on, unlike all of the foals at school. I sometimes saw him react like I had just hit him, but then he would snap back with a smile on his face. Other times it was like he was under a spell, shuffling around from place to place like he wasn't even thinking. It was kind of concerning, but at the same time it seemed to help Elusive cope with himself somehow. He was always happiest whenever I was around, or Sweetie Belle asked him for something. He worried me in a lot of ways.
It wasn't like that the first time I had met him though. He was just another pony back then. Elusive the clothier, a stylist that had everything going for him. The longer I stuck around though, the more he began to look like he was distracted. At first I was wary, he struck me as the same type of pony as Diamond Tiara's father. I felt like he just wanted something from me. The second time, I caught on that he was a genuinely good pony. He wasn't doing it just because it was the right thing, or because he wanted my approval. He didn't want me to like him, or anything selfish like that. I felt like he picked me up out of the mud because he legitimately cared about me.
Everything from that point backed that up. His generosity was a bit worrying at first. To someone who had never met someone like him, like me, his kindness was uncanny. He let me eat at his table, sleep in his home, share a room with his sister, rifle through his things, and now he wanted to make me a dress. I had a so many questions I wanted to ask him, but I didn't want to act like I was taking his kindness for granted, or that I was suspicious of him. I was extremely grateful to him, but at the same time, I didn't understand why he was acting this way. It almost felt like it was his goal to make me feel welcome and nothing else. Until two days ago I felt so insignificant… a grain of sand on a beach. Then Elusive had come along and made me the center of his world, like Sweetie Belle was.
It made me wonder why. After all, he had Sweetie Belle. She was already so close to him. Why did he seek me out in particular? As I pondered that I heard Apple Bloom's snoring stop, and with a yawn the farmhand looked around, eventually looking right at me in the dark room.
“What time is't?” She mumbled, blinking the sleep from her eyes.
I looked to the clock, then back to her. “Ten 'til seven.”
Apple Bloom sighed, getting out of bed and yawning again. “Guess we ought to get ready then… do you got your school stuff?”
I nodded, walking over to the edge of the bed and opening my wings. With a few beats of them the other two stirred, looking at me like I had started a housefire. I pointed at the alarm clock, and both of them groaned. Scootaloo looked especially annoyed.
“Why do we have to go to school today…? It's just review for the test on Wednesday.” Sweetie Belle said.
“The test is on Wednesday…?” Scootaloo said, her mane sticking out in random directions as she sat up.
As the two bantered about the final tests for the year I reached under the bed and took out my saddlebag, sighing. I was grades ahead of them… I had classes at a different time than them, and did different homework. Of course it was all built on the same basics, but at the same time it was more difficult. We had to do algebra… I didn't know how some of the smarter students did the advanced stuff. One problem took me five minutes at least. I only had one more year after this one, though. I'd be suffering into trigonometry. At least I wasn't starting beginner's calculus next year like some of the advanced students. Cheerilee herself didn't like the subject, she even told me.
As I thought about that I realized that I hadn't seen Elusive. He normally checked in here in the morning… at least in the two mornings I had been here. I put on the bag and walked to the door, heading out onto the stairway landing. He had said his room was on the top floor, just yesterday. I walked upstairs, finding an intricate door. I knocked loudly, though I exercised some control to not damage the door. I once put my hoof through one when I was being rough. Waiting for a few seconds I heard a shuffling on the other side, so I knocked again. The shuffling stopped suddenly, and I put my eye up to the keyhole. The only thing I saw in the dim light was a mannequin in the center in the room. I shook my head, walking downstairs again.
There was only one place I would expect to find him other than his room. I found the door to the workroom slightly open, and that all but confirmed where he was. I walked in to find a room covered it samples of cloth, shreds of lace, silk strands and a drawing here or there. There was only one source of light in the room, as the curtains were drawn tight. One lamp, near the sewing machine table as I walked in. At his desk he slept in shadows, a testament to how long into the night he had worked. On the desk was a nearly complete dress, his horn an inch from it. I admired it… I looked like it was made for a phoenix, with the grays along the legs and the bursts of orange and red along the back and shoulders. He really had poured his heart into it. I smiled, resting a hoof on his back.
The moment I touched him his eyes opened. Seeing it was me he smiled, shutting them again. No words passed between us, but he knew that I loved what he'd created. He reached out and rested a hoof on my cheek, giving it a light caress before he withdrew it. I looked away, scuffing a hoof along the floor. He levitated the dress, holding it up to the light. I marveled at its beauty. I had never seen anything quite like it, and the way it reminded me of a warm autumn night by a campfire was uncanny. It was humble, with no frills or gemstones, yet it managed to be more beautiful than any jewel I had ever seen. He stood, yawning lightly as he opened the curtains.
The stallion went about picking up the litter around his workroom, sorting all of the things that needed to be recycled for future garments and that which needed thrown out with his magic. I watched him, wondering what had just passed between us. After a few moments, once most of the room was clean, he walked over to me. He tilted his head to the side when he saw my expression.
“Is something the matter?” He asked.
I didn't really know what he meant. I was fine, but the way he'd made me feel for a moment was… nothing short of worshipped. I had felt like his sun and moon, the center of his world in every way. It was something I hadn't felt before. It almost scared me, in hindsight. It was like a warm ember in my chest, warming me from my hooves to my wingtips. I felt wanted, treasured by him. Just thinking back made it return, my wings quivering at my sides as my chest tightened. The sense of belonging was intoxicating. I did my best to reply, but it didn't come out quite right.
“I, uh… just really liked the dress is all.”
I silently cursed myself for saying that. It was such a boring answer, and it didn't express how I actually felt at all. What I had wanted to say was how he was amazing, and how he made me feel. Almost like I held some sort of great importance, if only to him. He smiled down at me, nodding. A sense of regret extinguished the warmth inside of me, leaving me feeling empty. I wanted to say something, but he spoke before I could think of how to follow up what I'd said.
“Well, if you need anything at all, I'm always here. You should be getting off to school now, if I'm not mistaken.” He commented, looking to the clock.
I nodded sheepishly, walking to the door. I felt like a complete foal, fawning over the first pony to show her some attention and stuttering like he was my first crush. Not that it mattered at all, really. He seemed blind to what he was doing to me. At least he seemed to be. How could he know how I felt about being treated like this? He was aware he was showering me with attention, but how I was reacting was… not how I thought I would take something like this. I had thought, if this happened, that I could just seperate myself from him. Now that I knew him to some degree though, I was too aware of the fact that I brought him happiness. Not the fake smiles or the painful, forced grin he would put on when I even mentioned his well being.
I left thinking about that, shutting the front door behind me. Every time I asked him how he was he would freeze. Then, one of two things would happen. He would shift into a stiff smile immediately, or he would look as if he had seen a ghost for a second before trying to act like he was okay. It made me think that he was the exact opposite of fine. He didn't seem alright at all, when me or Sweetie Belle weren't around. He just paced around, worked or slept. He didn't do anything on his own time, he had nothing else he did to keep his mind occupied. I had a lot I wanted to ask him… but it would have to wait until after school was done, unfortunately…
The day dragged by at an agonizingly slow pace. Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon stayed just out of earshout of me all day during the times we were in the same room. Nothing eventful happened, and I threw myself at my homework early on in the day, hoping it would burn some time. I was still left with a lot of my time free, with nothing but Cheerilee's voice as ambient noise. After a long while, I set my head down on the desk. This was all review… all for the final test on wednesday. I hated the muggy schoolhouse and the sweltering sun. I'd rather be at Elusive's home, enjoying the cool air and comfortable bed. What was better than that, after all?
A hoof nudged me after a while, being none other than Cheerilee herself as I looked up. “Thunderclap, is something the matter? You don't normally doze off like that...” She asked, seeming a bit concerned.
I shrugged, not knowing what else to do. “Sorry Ms. Cheerilee… it's just really warm in here, and my homework is done already, so...”
She nodded, giving an understanding smile. “I see… well, if you have any questions I'm helping everyone with review for this week's final test. Otherwise I don't mind you putting your head down.”
I heard a snide comment across the room as Cheerilee walked the other way. I sighed, letting my head meet the desk again. It would still be a long day.
I made an awkward landing on the front doorstep of Elusive's shop later that day, stumbling before finding my hooves again. I looked around, seeing that Sweetie and her friends were far from getting there. Of course, none of them quite had the ability to fly, and Sweetie couldn't teleport like those unicorn sorcerers. I opened the door to the shop and walked in, shutting it behind me with a content sigh. The cold air from inside washed over me, clearing the heat from my wings and fur. I almost wanted to lay down there and enjoy the ice cold floor, but I had to go see Elusive. I had too much on my mind to not go to him for answers.
Seeing that he wasn't in his workroom, I walked upstairs to Sweetie Belle's room and set my things in there. Once I was unburdened, I headed up another floor to find the stallion's door shut. I knocked, tapping my hooves on the carpeted floor as I heard hoofsteps from the other side. A moment later he answered, looking down at me. I smiled, my wings giving an involuntary flutter as I saw him.
“Sorry to bother you right after I got back, but, um… I wanted to talk to you about some things.” I said, as usual jumping in before I had any kind of plan.
I had no idea what I would even say, but he nodded and let me in. It was cool in there despite it being the top floor, something I was grateful for. He had my dress completed, folded perfectly in a case over by his desk. I admired the simplicity of his quarters. There were two bookshelves, a mannequin, a desk over to the far right as I walked in, and a large bed fit for easily three ponies, with curtains around it that were open at that moment. Royal purple was the main color in there, with a faintly blue-tinted white making up everything else. He stood for a moment as I admired the room, before I noticed him looking at me, most likely waiting for me to speak. I didn't know how to word any of what I wanted to ask him, so I looked at my hooves, cleared my throat, and did my best.
“I just, wanted to ask you… about all this. You, Sweetie, the dress… I didn't want to come off as ungrateful, but… the longer I'm here the more confusing it is.”
Elusive nodded, waving a hoof. “Of course, speak your mind. I'd never hold it against you.”
I took a deep breath, preparing myself. “Well… first I wanted to ask you what was bothering you. I know you don't want to say anything. Trust me, I was like that until we met. Now it's my turn. I want to help you, like you helped me.”
He looked like I had hit him, his ears folding back. He wanted to say that he was fine. I could see it in his face. He wanted to play the façade of being offended that I'd even suggest that. I had just called the same strategy to light though, so he couldn't run with that. If he tried he might be able to convince me that he was just absentminded. If he wanted to not be saved at all he would still act as if everything was alright. He didn't, though. A tiny sliver of him didn't want to hide the truth anymore, a part of him more resolute than any of the excuses that he could conjure. After a few seconds his face transformed. At first he had seemed almost upset, but after some thought he looked at his hooves.
“I lost it, just a while ago. That spark that brings joy to life. Motivation to get up every day. To smile at the sun when it comes up. What I lived for had become a chore, and I couldn't see how to keep going with it. Making my dresses and suits, I got fed up with the same designs, the droning demands for the exact same things, every season. I didn't feel like an artist, anymore. That's my Mark, my reason for life. My passion is to court the hearts and eyes of ponies with my creations, so to see it all go stale… it was nothing short of depressing. I felt like I was meaningless.”
“So why did you reach out to me, though? You had Sweetie Bell. Why would you come to some total stranger?” I pried, trying to move him off of the subject so he wouldn't start to wallow in his misery.
He stopped, taking a breath and moving to speak. No words escaped his mouth though. Was it incriminating? I had my suspicions… but no sooner did that cross my mind did he shake his head.
“I reached out to you because you were like me. I told you this before. I know what it's like to be alone, but I know what it's like to live without a purpose or any love for yourself even better. I truly loathe what I've become. I reached out to you in hopes that you could give me a purpose. I said to myself 'maybe if I could make you happy, I might be able to find some self-worth'. I wanted you to be my reason to feel good about myself. Sweetie Belle couldn't do that. She's happy. She lives a normal life with her friends. She doesn't need me for anything. I wanted to be who crossed your mind when you thought of Generosity...”
I stood stock still, floored by that response. He acted like I was a shining example of something valuable, that he would want to protect. I had been right about him being fully aware of what he had been doing. He knew that he was treating me like the center of his world, because I was. He had made me the whole reason he still left his house, the only motivation he had to make clothing. He had been looking for a reason in his head to keep going, so when he met me… he saw that we were the same. I blinked, trying to think of what to say.
“Isn't that a bit… unhealthy? To rely on someone else so much?” I asked, a bit nervous with him placing so much importance on me.
He shrugged, scuffing a hoof. He had a knowing smile on his face. I knew from that expression that he was fully aware of how unhealthy it was to make me so crucial to his happiness. Elusive was all too knowingly falling into a trap of his own making, in putting so much stock into me. All of his eggs in one basket, because I was the only pony he could truly connect to. I was equally flattered and worried about him. I would never dream of crushing his heart, though I knew more than a few ponies would at the drop of a hat. I wanted him to be happy and he mirrored that same feeling. I was the reason he had kept making dresses.
Could I make him that important to me though? I wanted to, with all of my heart. He had done nothing to deserve slipping into the state he was in now. He was an emotionally dependent wreck of a stallion. I wanted to fix that… but would reciprocating his feelings of trust and good-will help him or just make it worse? I shook the thought out of my head. What a silly thing to cloud my thoughts with. I didn't intend on ever going back to my family, not now that he had shown me how it was to live with someone who actually cared. If I left on good terms with him in a year or two… he would feel fulfilled, like he'd done something again. All I had to do was accept his generosity, and he would be satisfied. I could fix him just by enjoying his company and hospitality.
“Okay… did my dress help?” I asked, hoping to turn the conversation again.
He motioned to the dress case, beaming. “You helped more than you could imagine. It's the best work I've done in years, by far. Nopony could ever tell me otherwise. I even feel like I could go back to taking normal orders now.”
I nodded, my thoughts turning to my last question. “I'm really glad I could help. Now, uh… I had another thing I wanted to say...”
He motioned for me to go on, clearly happy to hear me out. What I wanted to ask was a bit… odd to say after what he had just confessed. I wanted to bring up what I had felt earlier, the moment we'd shared in his workroom. It felt strange to bring it up now, since he had just divulged every secret I had asked him for. I wasn't a pony that knew when to leave a conversation on a light note, though… so I took a deep breath and focused through.
“Earlier in your workroom, when I woke you up… it sort of felt, the way you reacted, like a kind of gesture. That I felt a bit odd about. I didn't know if you meant it that way at all, but… if you didn't then I can just sort of… go...”
He looked a bit confused for a moment, before smiling. His face shifted to an unreadable mask, though the way he was looking at me was different from normal. It almost made me blush, the way his eyes flicked from my hooves up to my wings, then back to my face.
“Well, looking at you all night while I made your dress did make me admire the beauty of your figure a lot more than any of the foals at school do. If that makes you feel at all uncomfortable then I'm quite sorry. I need to know what makes a pony attractive so that the dress compliments them.”
I felt like I'd just had my hooves turned to cement. The way he'd said that so matter-of-factly was enough to earn a blush, which I hid by coughing into my wing. I had the distinct feeling that he wasn't fooled though. I had thought of him as a humble pony, but he was honest more often than not. I was glad he hadn't lied, but it wouldn't have hurt to sugar coat the truth a bit. He did find me attractive, not just because we solved each other's problems so well. I knew that this physical admiration was secondary to our personalities though, because he had no interest in me like that before. I believed that he had, as he'd said, been smitten in the process of making my dress.
I always had been more than a bit in awe of him as well. He was tall, and had the posture and grace that complimented his personality. He was delicate, and had a complex past. At the same time his own sense of happiness was dictated by how others let him treat them. If left to his own devices then he would make somepony the center of his world, like he had done with me. I didn't mind that at all… he deserved a stable pony to call his true friend. I didn't know if I wanted him as anything other than a caretaker though. I didn't know how he acted, when he saw a pony as a partner.
“Is something the matter?” He asked stepping towards me and tilting his head.
He was aware of what he was doing, closing distance towards me in order to fluster me more. I smiled and decided that it would be infinitely better if I just called it a day. Elusive had not only turned my perception of him on its head, but baited me into revealing my own attractions to him. It had been clever and not terribly obvious, but if I had been looking for the answer then it was there to find. I had all the room in the world to tell him I didn't want to be looked at like that, but he had masterfully gotten me to recognize his attraction, and had proven that I had a bit of an admiration of him as well. With a smile I waved a hoof, dismissing my own embarrassment.
“No, I just remembered I still have homework to be doing. I should get to that, y'know?” I said, turning to the door.
He nodded, walking over to the door before opening it. I walked over, avoiding his gaze as he followed me with his eyes. He seemed to be looking for some kind of sign from me. Maybe that I actually returned his attraction. It wasn't until I was nearly out the door did he say to me.
“You're welcome up here any time, alright?” Elusive said, waving a hoof goodbye.
I bit my tongue, then let myself say. “Okay, I'll keep that in mind Elusive.”
He smiled happily as he shut the door, and I bit the inside of my cheek hard enough to hurt. That had been a dead giveaway and I had known it before I had opened my mouth. I was a half a second from not saying anything, but I had wanted to reassure him. I didn't want to come off as if he had alienated me, but now I had betrayed my actual feelings. I had been honest with myself until then, but now I wasn't sure that would end things the way I wanted. I went downstairs thinking of what to do, heading into Sweetie Belle's room. She saw me and waved as I went to my bed. I waved back before crawling under my covers and pushing my head into my pillow. Thankfully Sweetie knew better than to pry as I shut my eyes, hoping my head would be clearer after a nap.
I woke to a cool room and soft sheets. The last day of school had come and gone, finally. Friday was here and I didn't need to worry about my grades or Diamand Tiara anymore, so I could sleep in all I wanted. I could finally enjoy this amazing bed, and the nice home that I had. I silently wondered what my sister was doing. I had seen her yesterday, walking home. She had seen me, too. We hadn't talked… and she seemed to almost avoid my eyes. Maybe she was ashamed of how she had treated me. Either way she had avoided me and Sweetie Belle as we'd walked home. That was enough to reassure me that she wasn't in any position to make me leave this place. I was happy as I was, wrapped in warm blankets in a nicely air conditioned room. It was better than my own bed in every way.
I shut my eyes again, figuring that it was easier to sleep in. As I was laying there I heard the rustling of blankets as Sweetie Belle got out of bed, yawning. She went to the door, most likely heading downstairs to get herself some breakfast. I wasn't ready to get up, so I stayed there as I heard the door shut. I wondered if Elusive was up at this time of morning. He normally wasn't up, and he had been working on a dress yesterday. It was a Canterlot order, so he'd said at dinner last night. Maybe it was for a noble he had connections to.
Thinking of the stallion made my wings twitch a bit. He seemed to be returning to some kind of normal routine. At least that was what Sweetie Belle had told me. The more true to himself that he acted around me, the more he looked like a true royal. His mane looked like flowing water once he had done it correctly, and his coat looked like fresh snow if he had washed it that day. He was holding himself better, and the eloquent way he spoke was starting to become much more noticable. I felt reminded of what had happened in his room every time he would look at me, especially now that he looked so much better.
It was a temptation to talk to him about what he'd said. I was welcome up in his room, any time… so he had said. I'd read enough books to know that he wasn't referring to a simple chat or coming to get help with my homework. He had meant that as an invitiation to deepen our connection to each other. Romantically or otherwise. I didn't have the willpower to keep him at that kind of distance though. If I ended up taking the offer I'd want something a bit more than friendship.
I was a pegasus by birth, but I owned the personality more than most. I couldn't half-commit to anything. He was a walking effigy to what I wanted in a romantic partner. Not only was he a thin, elegant unicorn that looked like royalty without even trying, but he was also the most devoted pony I had ever met. Elusive would treat me like a princess if I would let him, or if I asked I could be a queen. I wanted badly to take that chance. It made my wings twitch and flutter to think about him like that. I could picture him laying next to me, asking how I'd slept as he came just a bit closer. When he was close enough I let my hoof wander a bit, running down over my chest. I imagined him doing just that, while he put a light kiss on my hoof.
I let my hoof wander a bit lower, flexibly arching my back as my wings opened. I whispered his name as I pushed my hard hoof between my legs, shaking a bit as I thought about him. I could picture him peppering my neck with kisses as his hoof worked, and I let out a moan for him. He rewarded me by pushing harder against my aching outer sex, his other hoof roaming over my chest as he kept his soft, caring eyes on my face. It was so one-sided, but I couldn't think over my hormones. He traced circles aroud my eager, trembling pearl and smiled. I felt ashamed of myself for giving in to the temptation, but I didn't have the willpower to deny him.
After a few minutes of teasing myself I let out a whine, biting my blanket as an uncontrollable wave of pleasure washed over me. I could picture his smile of approval, encouraging me as I gave my tired marehood a few more strokes. I was left catching my breath, trying to steal back my own thoughts. I silently got up, walking to the bathroom. I had never done anything like that with any other stallion. I'd done it once or twice just to relieve some stress, but I hadn't had anypony in mind. My hormones were content, but I was still unsatisfied. Not to mention, my folds ached for more attention. The urge for more was the worst feeling, almost as bad as my first heat. Medicine had helped with that… but Elusive wasn't going anywhere no matter how much I tried to wish him away.
I didn't feel any better from that, maybe even more bothered than before. I made a mental note to not let myself sit still too long. I walked out of the bathroom after cleaning myself up, walking to the door. I didn't know why, but I was doing my best to ignore what I just did. It felt dishonest to Elusive. He'd made it clear that he had no problem looking at me the way I had just looked at him. Instead I didn't take the invitiation, and had just decided to leave our friendship as it was. Even after I had all but come out with my interest in him. I felt like I was teasing him, much more than he was teasing me. He didn't mean to tempt me at all. On the other hoof I was willfully ignoring our feelings and not committing.
I walked downstairs, putting it out of my head. Elusive was in the kitchen, having made breakfast. He hadn't washed his fur or done his mane yet that day, to my suprise. He had plates of pancakes set up for himself and Sweetie Belle, and one off to the side for me. I took it and sat down, starting into my meal. It was a quiet breakfast. Nopony had anything to talk about, and there were no plans to be discussed. Elusive glanced at me, then down at his food again. I would have given him a 'good morning' at the very least, but with what had happened earlier I didn't trust myself. It felt like I was just delaying the inevitable, not just coming to him and admitting my feelings.
It wasn't the time though. Sweetie Belle was there, and she might have been a bit too young to understand. I ate my meal as Sweetie Belle occasionally looked around, then returned to her food. I did my best to keep my eyes to myself, but Elusive caught me sneaking a glance at him. I finished my food just as Sweetie did, while Elusive was still finishing his last few bites. I walked out, heading up to his room and standing there. I reached out for the handle, trying it for a moment before I realized that it was very much locked. I bided my time, thinking over what to say. Maybe I could start casually? That seemed best…
While I mulled that over, I felt a dull ache from my wing. I had set myself down on one of them awkwardly in my sleep, and my morning 'exercise' didn't help either. I fixed the feathers on the right side as I waited, thinking about how this might go. Would Elusive be put off if I was too forward? Perhaps… he was a stallion of taste. He would want time for us to get closer to one another before I did anything like sleep in the same bed. As that crossed my mind the artist walked up the stairs, humming. He saw me and smiled, his horn lighting as he opened the door. He went in first, then I followed.
“Elusive, I.. uh, wanted to try on that dress. Would that be alright?”
The stallion turned, giving me a curious look. “Of course, I made it for you to wear. Otherwise it's just a decoration.”
He motioned me over to the desk the dress was sat upon, behind a thin layer of glass to protect it from the dust. He opened the case he had kept it in and levitated the garment. He busied himself with smoothing out the folds he'd made so it would fit inside. It was odd, to me. He could just fix them with a charm. He was a unicorn after all. Instead he did it by hoof, before smiling and holding out the garment to me. He unclasped four brass buttons that held the top of the dress to the gray silk underdress on one side, which allowed me to put it on. He arranged the sleeves for the front legs in front of me, levitating the back of the garment aside so that the silk leggings were open to me. I pretended to not mind the situation. I knew that I'd need help getting into this dress though, it wasn't possible alone.
I stepped into the front leg sleeves, which he pulled up tight to my body. Without the top of the dress the silk underbelly was just ash-colored skintight leggings. He motioned for me to take a step back, and I did just that. He pulled the back of underdress up my legs, buttoning it above my tail to keep it up back there and let it rely on my tail for support. He then put the top of the dress up over my back, buttoning it to the top of the leggings so that it was all one piece again. He had problems getting the holes he had made to button around the base of my wings, but after some adjusting it fit quite comfortably. He smiled, smoothing out the dress on me before stepping back.
I scuffed a hoof, not wanting to meet his eyes. He looked at me with an expression of immense pride, smiling so much I was tempted to ask if his cheeks hurt. I didn't have any way to say that without coming off as defensive, though. Elusive walked around me, looking me over as he paced. I blushed and looked off to she side, trying to act normal. I liked this in plenty of ways, being admired by the sophisticated stallion being one of the better reasons I had. It certainly added to the situation that the dress weighed next to nothing, and the gray silk underdress was tight enough for me to consider it flaunting. I wondered if he had made it that way, or it was just a quirk of silk itself.
After a moment he began to wake a few tweaks to the dress here and there, before stepping back. I gave a bit of a coy smile, meeting his eyes. He seemed to ignore my embarrassment and take it as me liking the dress.
“You look absolutely ravishing… like a phoenix rising out of the earth. I've never felt happier with a dress, especially not one I did overnight.”
I looked away, unable to meet his eyes for much longer. He was so happy it was infectious. I was doing my best to keep myself from saying something I might regret. Though, as normal, I opened my mouth and spoke without thinking. The moment the words left my lips I cursed myself and promised that I would beat my wings with a ruler later.
“I think you look just as beautiful, Elusive. Without having to wear anything, either.”
His smile went from pride to light suprise, then amusement. It then shifted to settle on understanding. He went over to me and leaned down just a bit, planting a small kiss on my forehead. I could have dropped dead from the shame in my own stupid mouth just then, but Elusive was mature enough to pick up where I lacked in self control and forethought. I silently thanked all of the heavens above as he spoke in a rather measured, calm voice.
“I must disagree… but we have different perceptions of beauty. I would invite you to any royal event on that dress alone if I was a noble. It brings out your legs and your wings better than anything I've tried to make before.”
I looked at the ground, both relieved and shaken by my complete lack of tact or subtlety. “You did make it after all… you should love the things you make.”
The stallion nodded serenely. “That is a good truth for most… but not for somepony who needs to self-improve. Now Thunderclap, did anything else bring you in here besides your dress?”
I could tell that he was doing his best to act normal after what I'd said. I looked at my hooves, shrugging. I didn't really know what I was accomplishing by being there. I had started wanting to confront him about what he had said, but I was beginning to realize that wasn't the best idea. I was too late coming to that conclusion though. I was already in his room, standing in front of him. I had just complimented him. Pretending like I wasn't there for anything but the dress would just look like me trying to flirt. He probably wouldn't appreciate a lie, either. I sighed and looked away, trying to think of what to do. After a moment I gave up, deciding that the only thing that wouldn't make me look like a complete foal would be to embrace honesty.
“Elusive… you said I was welcome in your room whenever I wanted. I was just wondering… what I would be doing if I spent more time here.”
I complimented myself on the way I'd said that. It sounded like something that Elusive might say. Well worded and nuanced, but to the point. The stallion looked at me with a caring expression, shrugging his shoulders. He walked over to the mannequin in the corner of the room, tapping a hoof. He looked the lifeless statue over before turning back to me.
“I enjoy your company… you're an amazing inspiration. You're welcome to use my room to relax if you want. I have plenty of things to do up here besides make dresses. There's books to read, and if you're tired I have a bed that's more than big enough for you.”
“Thanks, but… I wanted to talk to you about what you said on a few days ago. About… y'know, in the workroom.”
The stallion looked at me rather apprehensively, as if he was bracing to be scolded. Was he really scared that I was upset at him? Maybe that had been the message I had given him, with my sudden exit. He spoke nervously, like he had accidentally burned the food he was cooking for a holiday dinner.
“I'm sorry that happened, I'd just woken up and you already had your hoof on my back. I just thought you might… appreciate the gesture, I suppose.”
I shook my head, trying to clear the air. “I was never upset at you for that Elusive. I meant, the feelings between us. Last time I left your room, you said that I was always welcome in here. I just wondered if you had meant that as a way to get a bit closer to me.”
He seemed to relax a bit. He nodded at my question, then looked to the door. The unicorn shut it tightly with his magic, then turned the lock on it. I gave him an odd look, not knowing why he'd done that. Then I remembered that Sweetie Belle had been caught eavesdropping before. Not just on one occasion, either. He'd done it so that our conversation was private.
“You could think about the invitation like that. I don't know how you'd want this to work…” He said, unsure of himself. “I'm not even sure what you'd want, once we'd made up our minds.”
I looked up at the stallion, thinking of what to say. Elusive was too timid towards me to try to come out with what he wanted. Even if I took the most important step. I could have done it right then, and said that I wanted romance between us. I wondered what he would do then, if I came out with it. Would he be glad, or more skittish because of it? I had to make a decision… so I made what felt like the right choice. After almost half a minute, I took a deep breath and said.
“You really don't need to be nervous… most of the reason you're so handsome is because you always know what to do. Even if you don't make the most… reasonable decisions, you barely ever actually mess up. You know how to make me smile, and we're really in tune with each other. That's how I knew that you wanted us to be closer than this. I just want to make you happy, like you try to make me happy. Especially if we can give each other a few roses along the way.”
I smiled, thinking about him tucking a rose into my mane. His posture changed, from defensive to a relaxed stance. The unicorn looked me over, making me wonder what he was thinking. After a few seconds his horn lit up, and he retrieved a small gemstone from inside a desk drawer. It was a ruby in the shape of a heart, set in a golden necklace. He gazed at the beautiful jewel, saying.
“You stole this the moment that you let me into your house that day. The way you talked about your family, your sister and the way you were left on your own. All of that made me feel like… you really deserved a chance to be loved, and a chance to love somepony. I was okay with just giving you support until you left on whatever path you chose for yourself. This is a lot more than I could have hoped for though. You took this, at first. Now, I feel like you really deserve it.”
I scuffed a hoof, not really feeling like I deserved his love at all. He was the one who had done everything right. He'd given me a place to stay with actual company, had Sweetie Belle be my friend, made me food and kept the house impecably clean on top of working. I didn't know how he maintained it all. He walked over and put it around my neck, not taking his eyes off of me.
“There… perfect. What did you say about roses, now? I would love a bit of romance between us… I assume you would too, after what you said. I have a question for you first, though. Would you prefer to wear that dress much longer?”
I shrugged, not sure why he'd asked. I had practically forgotten I was wearing it at all. I had been so absorbed in our conversation so far. I figured that it was alright as long as there was no chance of it being ruined.
“I'm fine with whatever you want, Elusive.”
As I said that his horn lit up, and the buttons connecting the top of the dress to the underside unclasped. He quickly removed the top of it and pulled the leggings down. I stepped back out of it, allowing him to collect the garment. He made a few quick folds before setting it in its case, shutting it tightly. He then turned to me, seeing that a few tufts of my fur and mane had been pushed around by the dress as I'd gotten out of it. On top of not having bathed or brushed my mane yet that morning, I wasn't nearly as appealing as when I'd had the dress on. The stallion smiled, looking down at himself. By the looks of things, he hadn't done any of that either.
“I think we might want to stop and continue this talk once we've had a morning shower. Is that alright Thunderclap?”
I nodded, turning to walk towards the door. He let out an audible sigh at my lack of understanding. His horn flashed, and the ruby heart he'd given me shifted on my neck just enough to get my attention. I turned back to him, a bit confused at first. He motioned to his bathroom door. I understood immediately with such an obvious hint, not knowing what to say to that. It was rather bold of him, but I walked that way instead, biting my bottom lip. He wasn't acting like his normal shy self now that I'd taken the guesswork away. He was free to make things obvious now that I'd made everything clear to him. I didn't mind at all, it made things easier for me.
He led me into his bathroom, humming a tune to himself. The inside of it was entirely made of tile, with a large vent in the ceiling to take out all of the steam. In the middle of the room was a glass walled shower, set below a large showerhead. His hooves clacked on the tiles as he went over, turning the shower on from the outside with his magic. In the meantime I looked over his vast collection of fur and mane grooming products, wondering how he came to have so much. He probably knew a pony, in all probability. That was the only way that he could have such an amazing home, expensive jewelry and still simply make clothes. No matter what, he was a perfect stallion to me.
“Are you going to join me?” He asked, standing next to the shower patiently.
I turned, making my way over to him. I stepped into the shower to find it a bit cool for my taste, but I still went inside. It was roomy, plenty for two ponies. We could both have been laying down and it would still have room to stretch our legs. He joined me a moment later, sighing as the water wet his mane. I did my best to not look at him, chewing the inside of my bottom lip nervously. As if he sensed my stress, he sat down. His horn lit up as he motioned for me to sit. I did just that as he reached out with his front hoof, resting it on my back. A bottle levitated off of one of the shelves, and he poured some soap onto my back. He continued his humming as he used his hooves to wash my back.
I took a few deep breaths, realizing that he was just doing it to try and relax me. I felt nervous, being so close to him like this. I had told myself that I wouldn't react like this. It was difficult, though. With his mane down and his fur soaking him he looked as handsome as ever. I personally felt like it just made my legs look even more like twigs. He didn't seem to mind it at all though, looking over me as he lathered my fur. He used his magic to get at what spots his hooves would have to reach across me for. He purposefully stopped at my thigh, taking a small step away from me. I gave him a smile, motioning for him to continue. I was in the shower with him. I didn't see a point to being modest at such a time.
He nodded, obliging me as his hoof began to wash my upper thigh, as well as the fur around my Mark. He kept a calm hum the whole time. I felt a bit more comfortable as I felt his hoof trace over my lower stomach. He gave me an inquisitive glance, wondering if I was okay with that. I nodded, deciding that I would at least let him wash all of me if he wanted to. I bit my bottom lip a moment later, his smoothly polished hoof rather firmly running between my legs, lathering the soap before he withdrew, humming again at a measured tempo. I didn't know how he could still act so calm after that, but after a moment the water running over me had rinsed off my body. He began to wash my mane next, while I tried to put the sensation of his hoof between my legs out of my head.
Once he was done he turned around, motioning for me to return the favor for him. I nodded, getting to work on his back. He didn't seem interested in building on what he'd done to me a few minutes ago. I personally wondered if I had to escalate it myself… or I had to just make it obvious for him. I didn't look up to him as I wrapped my hooves around his chest, smiling as I washed him. He noticed me being a bit hasty. He looked down at me with a bit of a curious expression, like he was wondering what I was being so quick for. I eventually looked up at him, my hoof on his lower stomach. He nodded, and I traced my hoof downwards.
I blushed as my hoof ran over his loin. His sheathed malehood was the first thing I touched, causing me to freeze up a bit. He closed his eyes, smiling. He seemed to know what I was doing, and why. I ran my hoof down to his soft sack, which rested lazily on the floor. The smooth skin was relaxed and warm to the touch, though he shifted his weight a bit as I touched one of them. I took the hint that they were delicate, and gently drew my hoof over them to coat them in soap before moving on. My face was red underneath my light brown coat of fur. I hadn't realized how difficult it would me to keep myself under control until I was already touching him.
Elusive sighed as he settled down onto his chest. He used magic to wash his own mane, looking over at me. Was he testing me? I was doing my best to act normally. Touching him there had set something off in me, some kind of impulse I didn't know I had. I hadn't wanted to take my hooves away. He invited me to lay down with him with a wave of his hoof. I joined him, and he sidled closer to me.
“This is nice… feeling a bit more relaxed now?”
I nodded, meeting his gaze. He had a rather calm, but knowing aura. He knew that I was flustered, and that him touching me like he had had put the expectation forwards. I looked away, not knowing whether to pressure him or not. If he wasn't ready I didn't feel alright pushing him for it. At the very least, he knew exactly how I felt at the moment.
“A little more uh… needy now. I guess I'm relaxed, though.” I replied.
He tilted his head to the side as the water ran over us. He had an empathetic smile on his face.
“What is it that needs attention? I can help, if you want.”
I opened my mouth, before realizing that he hadn't been teasing. He had been waiting to see if I wanted to take that step. I took a deep breathe to settle my nerves, then shifted the weight of my lower body a bit, my tail twitching to one side. Elusive got up, turning around before stepping over me.I blinked as I found his tip a few inches from my muzzle. I looked back at him as his horn lit, and I felt a warm, steady stroke against my outer fold. I tried to keep them still, but my wings fluttered and twitched uncontrollably at my sides from the stimulation. He sat down in front of me as his horn faintly glowed, his length semi-erect a few inches from my lips. My legs instincively pushed back on the force, but it didn't go any faster or harder. The unicorn noticed, asking.
“Is this what you wanted…? Or something more intimate?”
I was having trouble thinking, as he wasn't letting up with his magic. However, I managed to get out. “More… not enough right now…”
He nodded, his horn glowing more brightly. I whined loudly as I felt a steady, circular rubbing against my clit. He leaned down, putting a hoof underneath my chin. I looked up just as he kissed me on the lips. I melted into it, feeling his tongue slip into my mouth. After a moment I gasped through my nose, feeling a tight pressure building inside of me. He gently pulled away, wiping his lips as I was left panting. He looked me in the eyes as I gave one last desperate moan. I arched my back and my wings unfurled.Just a moment later he smiled and caressed my cheek. I felt my back legs seize up, picking me up a bit before falling back to the tiled floor. My whole body was shaking. I tried to regain my breath. It was certainly one thing to get off on your own… but this immeasurably better than my own hoof.
He kept a bit of pressure against my sex for a few seconds before he let go entirely with his magic. I smiled up at him, just before he stood up. I looked up at him as he turned off the shower, not knowing how well I could stand just moments afterwards. I tried to get up after him, but ended up leaning on the unicorn. He gave me a patient smile and helped me out of the shower, drying himself with a towel before helping me with one. Once I was dry I walked with him back out into the room. He went to the bed, looking back at me. I knew what he wanted and followed happily, eager for more of him. Once I was on the neatly made blankets he used magic to shut the curtains around the bed. It was immediately dark in there, making me feel alone with the stallion.
Elusive didn't waste time, sitting himself behind me before kneeling down. With a hoof he lifted by backside from the bed, making me a bit confused before I felt his lips on my petals. I bit my bottom lip, my tail instinctively flicking aside to give him easy access to me. I felt his tongue slip in and draw itself over my pearl. I put my tongue between my teeth to keep a gasp from escaping, wanting this feeling to last. I felt myself get excited immediately, even though I'd tried to hold back. With my folds soaked, he pulled back. He stood, getting into a good position over me. I tried to keep myself as calm as possible. A moment later I felt his left front hoof run down my side. My haunches lifted almost immediately for him, offering myself.
I nearly fainted as I felt a hot, firm pressure. A moment later I moaned louder than I had in the shower, the crown of his member pushing into me. Elusive kissed the back of my neck, leaning down and whispering to me while he very slowly spread me.
“I love you… please try to keep calm for me, Thunderclap. I want you to enjoy this.”
It was easier said than done. I felt like he was in my lower stomach already, and my pearl ached for more stimulation while my passage begged for him to pull out. He kept going, while I whined underneath him. I'd known this wouldn't be easy the first time. It was too stimulating and not enough for me at the same time. Finally I felt him reach his base, and I let out a satisfied sigh. He used his left front hoof to rub my side comfortingly. I really appreciated it… more than I'd like to admit. He was the best part of all of this. His calm tone, the way his body seemed to relax on top of mine. It was almost like we had belonged together from the start. The way he acted made it seem right to me.
A moment later he planted his hooves on either side of me and pulled back much faster than he'd entered. I gasped, feeling my front legs melt while my back ones seemed to lock into place. He planted a small kiss behind my ear as I tried to adjust, shivering underneath him. He pushed back in just as swiftly, almost making me drool. His hips had a perfect way of angling his thrust, making the pressure while he pushed into me feel mind-numbingly good. He began to keep that pace, starting to breathe heavily. I felt like I was melting, my entire body shaking. I barely felt anything besides the pleasure from him filling my passage.
It was a numb bliss, with the only thing in my head registering was Elusive and me. He was speeding up, forcing more bestial moans to escape my lips. He smiled and began to outright gasp every few thrusts. I nearly passed out, my head pushed down against the bedsheets. I could hardly think, and I felt an unbearable pressure building inside of me. It was getting to be too much… before I felt my mind collapse, and my body seemed to just start to move on its own. My hips pushed back on him frantically, while my passage tightened on its own. I let out a desperate, uncontrolled cry of overstimulation as my orgasm stole any control I still had. My whole body shook like a leaf in a strong gale for almost half a minute before I settled into a bright afterglow, panting.
He let out a similar cry, though he seemed to have a bit more control over his. I let out a content, happy moan as I felt him hilt fully into me. His length twitched and his tip flared, followed a warm sensation filling me. His horn sparked as he rested his head against me, whispering my name. I smiled and opened my wings, letting the sensation of him inside me burn into my memory. A few moments after he was done his horn lit with a coherent spell, which he casted as he planted a line of kisses down my neck. Once he was done with that, I whispered to him.
“I never thought we'd end up like this… but… I couldn't be happier, Elusive.”
He very gently pulled himself out of me, coaxing another shiver to run from the base of my wings to my hooves. He settled beside me and rested his head next to mine, a very satistied smile on his face. I'm sure I looked just as happy, and after a moment I leaned forwards and planted a kiss on his lips. It wasn't deep, but I held it for a few seconds before breaking away again. When he was ready, he snuggled close to me, saying softly.
“It's still early in the day… do you want to help me model a few things?”
I shrugged, shutting my eyes and pushing myself against his soft, warm chest. “I think I could stay here a bit longer… maybe go again after a nap.”
He chuckled, planting a kiss on my forehead before wrapping his forelegs around my chest to pull me close. We were each other's best friends… and now, lovers. I hoped that we could stay just like this, forever. I felt myself doze off, letting myself fall asleep in my stallion's embrace.
The next morning I opened my eyes, looking around my room. A mannequin stood in the corner between my wardrobe and the wall, its face bowed into the crevice as if it was hiding itself from me. It was a guilty position, one that spoke of regret. I started to think about that, why it might be over there, or why it might have chosen to do that. Then, I realized the insanity in such a thought. Mannequins had no will, as they were not alive. They also didn't have emotions. I stood and walked to my door, putting on my morning robe and heading downstairs. I looked in Sweetie Belle's room to check on the fillies, finding the Crusaders sleeping in one bed, while Thunderclap slept in a different one across the circular room. All of them seemed peaceful, so I shut the door and walked down to the kitchen.
With a sigh I sat down, pouring myself a bowl of cereal on the counter before levitating the frosted oat flakes over. I ate in relative silence, grateful it was Sunday. I knew that I didn't have to go into my workroom today. It set me at ease, knowing I wouldn't have to sit and struggle with myself for eight hours. I could have also just fall asleep at my desk to escape the frustration. Either way it invited the same sense of uselessness. I took my mind off of it, focusing on eating my cereal. Better not to think about the problems of the future when the present was so much better. The birds were chirping, the sun was out…. I didn't need to dwell on the inevitable return of my meaningless work just yet.
Soon my cereal was finished, and I sat wondering what to do with my Sunday. I had thought about writing to Dusk Shine to tell him what I'd done. After thinking about it a bit... I didn't want to bother him with some of my senselessly mundane life. I thought about maybe going to Butterscotch's house, as I was sure he would appreciate company. Of course, I'd have to bring Sweetie Belle and the others with me. Perhaps that wasn't the best idea… if simply for the fact that Thunderclap would want to settle in here first, rather than go wandering to the edge of the forest and going into town with me. I trusted the four on their own, but I wanted to still be here. It set a bad example for me to invite Thunderclap in, only to leave again.
That left me with a few options. I could simply stay in again or I could go out and try to return in time to catch the four fillies waking. Considering it was five in the morning that didn't seem particularly challenging. I knew they would take full advantage of sleeping in on the weekend. With that in mind I went back upstairs and took off my robe, heading to my bathroom. A quick shower and a brushing of my mane later, I was presentable. I went back downstairs and walked across my shop, stopping in the center to find something… off.
The mannequins were all facing corners. Between anything they could find, all of them had their faces buried into a crevice of some sort. Collectively they refused to face me. What had I done to warrant this from them? No matter how gallantly they were dressed or beautifully I had arranged them, all were turned away. I had done everything right, so why was this happening? I stole my thoughts back. That didn't mean anything, just that Sweetie had fun arranging the mannequins into odd patterns. Then again, that didn't explain how the one in my room had moved. I kept my door locked at all hours… too many precious gems were in there to leave open to wandering hooves.
I walked out, shaking my head and shoving the thoughts to the farthest reaches of my mind. The sun was coming up over the sky, the clouds gone from above Ponyville for the first time in nearly a week. The ground was still a bit marshy though, my hooves soaking in water when I put too much weight onto the saturated earth. I stuck to the sidewalks as I headed across town. Eventually I got to Butterscotch's home, after a considerable amount of walking. I knocked, and a few minutes later the sleepy pegasus answered, clearly fresh out of bed. He opened the door, looking at me curiously.
“Elusive… I haven't seen you in a while. I was wondering if I should have written to you, but I didn't want to pressure you into anything… uh, how have you been?”
I wondered whether to be truthful, but I knew if I was he would tell Dusk Shine. That would be a lot to deal with, on top of everything I was already trying to handle. So I decided to redact what would alarm him, and stick to what was enough to satisfy his curiosity.
“Just a few sleepless nights, been busy with my work. It's been a bit of a struggle.”
Butterscotch nodded, looking away. “Okay. Sorry to pry... come in, if you want.”
He stepped aside, going to his kitchen as I stepped into the cabin. It was nice to be in such a cozy space again… free of any sort of pressure from my work or those mannequins. My own home felt less inviting than his these days. It was a blessing to get away from it all. The sound of the stream outside and the wind from the forest against the house was more welcome than the stillness my own home was ruled by. The outside world was reminding me it was there when I visited Butterscotch's cabin. Whereas in my own home I felt isolated from the rest of Equestria. The shy pegasus returned with tea, smiling at me.
“So, um, what's been keeping you up? Bad dreams?” He asked politely.
“You could say that… and with the stress from work it isn't doing me any favors.”
“Have you thought about going to the spa, maybe?”
I pondered that, sipping my own tea. I could always do that, but I had to be back in time for the fillies to be up. Tomorrow seemed best. It was a way to procrastinate going into my workroom. To that thought I nodded. It was a great way to calm my fraying nerves.
“I'll go tomorrow, I have some things to do today. Care to join me?”
Butterscotch tilted his head to the side. “You're never busy on Sundays… what is so important?”
I wondered to myself whether to say anything about Thunderclap. If I did I ran the risk of it reaching Dusk, who would want to know every detail of it. He was especially prone to dig at us for details of our lives these days. Not that I blamed him in the least. We were his entire social life, as his own schedule was nothing but books and politics these days. We were his only real outlet besides Solaris and Lune, and both of them were rather difficult to talk to considering they were ancient. They had bad habits of ruling their conversations the same way that they did a courtroom. Through unbridled wit and endless experience. I couldn't bring myself to lie to Butterscotch though. His intentions were too pure to turn down.
“Well, Butterscotch… I'm letting one of Sweetie Belle's older classmates stay with us for a while, and I wanted to spend the day there if she needs anything or wants to talk to me.”
The pegasus seemed a bit surprised, taking in the information before nodding. “That's really generous of you, Elusive. If I can ask, how long is she staying?”
“I don't really know exactly. She was supposed to be staying with her older sister, but she left her at home alone for weeks at a time. So I suppose until the sister notices and comes to talk to me. Or, if the older sister doesn't care at all, she can just stay there until she can finish school.”
“Oh, that's a bit sad… I hear it's kinda common in some places though.” Butterscotch said, running a hoof over the couch cushion. “So what's her name? Is she nice to Sweetie?”
“Her name is Thunderclap, and she's a bit distant. She pushed me away at first… but she really does want someone to talk to. If not me, then she at least has Sweetie and her friends. Being on her own isn't good for her, at her age. I would know.”
“I'm sure you would. I know it was bad just having nobody in flight school, but to not have anyone at all would have left me a much different pony. I'm glad Rainbow stuck himself out there for me.”
I thought about that for a moment. It was common knowelge in our group that fate had conspired to bring us together from the very start. Stopping to muse over how different our lives would have been without each other would be gazing through a very strange looking glass, into a world that would be unrecognizable from this one. I did my best not to think about it, and continued our conversation.
“Yeah… odd thinking about how we all came together. But Dusk feels a bit distant these days. Always busy at the castle. I wish he got more time to himself.”
“I've been talking to him by mail… he really misses us. I wanted to go see him, but the only days he doesn't have something to be doing are Sundays, and to go all the way there and back would take almost all day on its own. Poor thing needs more rest, with that much pressure on him.”
I agreed, a large part of the Equestrian government was bombarding Dusk with things that seated his authority, recognized him as one of their primary royal leaders, established his roles and resposibilities, and countless legalities that were so abstractly worded in legal jargon it barely made sense to anyone but an experienced lawyer. Luckily he had Solaris and Lune to help, and last I heard it was dying down as his first year as a prince drew to a close. After that I supposed that he would take up Lune and Solaris' schedule. They only had court duties and hearings Monday, Tuesday and Thursday. A much more bearable work schedule, although they were all-day affairs often taking up fifteen hours of their time. As I thought about it, I wondered if alicorns got tired. Butterscotch roused me from my thoughts.
“Are you going to finish your tea? You looked a little, um… distant for a moment there.”
I silently chided myself for spacing out as I replied. “Of course, I was just thinking about Dusk is all. I have to go soon, I need to get back before Sweetie and the rest of her friends are up.”
“Yeah, I wouldn't want to leave Angel alone for too long either… see you, then.”
I stood, finishing my tea and thanking him for his company. I made my way to the door, waving a hoof goodbye before heading out again. The walk back was a hot, as the midsummer sun beating down on Ponyville. I did my best to try and ignore it as I stopped at the market, grabbing a few groceries before heading back in the direction of my home. The humidity was more bothersome than the heat, and I silently thanked the stars that I had air conditioning in my home. As I walked in the front door I found the mannequins moved again. They all faced the doorway, as if they had anticipated my return. I went to the kitchen, ignoring them and setting everything in its proper place. Once the groceries were put away, I decided to go upstairs.
On my way up I looked into Sweetie's room, finding that Thunderclap wasn't there. I turned on a dime, walking back downstairs to look for her. I checked the basement, then the kitchen and the display cases. I really didn't want to… but I then turned my attention to my workroom, walking up to the door and laying my hoof onto the handle. I took a deep breath, pushing my thoughts of my work out of the way as I walked in. In my chair sat Thunderclap, looking out the window at the circle my home was located on the edge of.
“Y'know, this has a great view of the route we all walk to school.”
“It does… I watch Sweetie Belle head outside and meet her friends almost every day. I see Diamond Tiara sometimes, and you started to fly by here two weeks ago. Although I really didn't notice you much until a few days ago, you went by so fast.”
She nodded, looking around the room. She turned her attention to the book of photos I kept of my clients with their measurements written to the side of them. Off to the side of the book was my sketch of her, which earned me an odd glance.
“Why did you draw this?”
I chuckled a bit, shrugging my shoulders. “Well you see, I was a bit puzzled by you. Most ponies don't have legs like yours, especially at your age. You reminded me of Fleur de Lis at first. I figured one of you parents were one of the earth ponies from outside of Equestria.”
“Yeah, my Mom… she has legs like mine too. She's really tall, but my Dad is kinda short for a pegasus. I'll probably be a little taller than you, when I'm done growing.”
I nodded, walking over to her. “When do you suppose that will be?”
“I don't know really… my Mom said she was only a little older than me when she stopped getting taller. So maybe sometime later this year?”
I nodded, flipping pages of my workbook while she looked at all the different ponies. I glanced over at her, then sighed. She was nearly as tall as me already, it wasn't that hard to think that she would gain an inch or two by the end of this year. I looked back to my workbook, flipping pages. A lot of happy memories were in those pages, and to add to it I had photos of the garments I had made for all of them. It felt a bit bittersweet, the way that I used to feel about my work… and how it made me cringe now. I shut my book, smiling at Thunderclap.
“What brought you in here?” I asked, wondering if something had caught her eye.
“Well, I was just walking downstairs and he door was open… so I just went in. I'd already had breakfast and I was kind of bored.”
I nodded, wondering what on earth had opened the door to my workroom. I kept it shut when I wasn't in here, and locked on weekdays. A lingering tentacle of thought reached out from the dark corner of my mind, and I nearly bit my own tongue. Had it been one of the mannequins? I shook my head and banished the tendril of dread back to its corner. I looked at Thunderclap and did my best to keep my mind occupied in thinking of something more to say. Still, I felt the presence of all the thoughts I had been throwing away, refusing to think about. My work, the mannequins, Dusk Shine, all of it was piling up. However, Thunderclap tore me away from my thoughts, looking up at me oddly.
“Elusive?” She asked, having clearly said something while I had been thinking.
“Yes, sorry about that… I have moments where I wander off. What were you saying?”
“I was just wondering where your room was.” She said.
“Oh… it's on the top floor.”
She nodded, scuffing her foot on the floor. I looked over at the mannequin that I kept in my workroom to find it sitting with its face in a corner, hiding itself. I hoped that if it felt anything, it felt guilt for letting Thunderclap in there. I loathed this room… it dredged up far too many bittersweet memories of the past. I turned my attention back to the filly to find her looking at an old suit of mine, accompanying a dress I had made for Sweetie Belle. Two years ago I had worn that to the Grand Galloping Gala, back when Dusk was just a student and I was merely a happy designer. She stared at the suit, then the dress. The way she did was curious to me… I looked back to her. I felt a bit of a spark in my head as I looked at the pegasus again.
I had never in my life designed a garment for someone like her. It filled me with curiosity for exploring new territory. Her coat and mane colors were very unique, and her proportions were without a doubt completely different from anypony I had ever made a gown for. It almost made me think… maybe she was what I needed to get myself out of this horrible slump.
“Thunderclap, might I get your measurements?” I asked, walking to my desk to get some measuring tape.
She turned, looking a bit confused. “What would you… I don't have the money for a dress, Elusive.”
I shook my head, returning to her with a smile as I used magic to take her measurements. “It won't cost you a dime. It is entirely my gift to you.”
She shrugged, watching the measuring tape span between her shoulders. “I guess that's okay then. What made you want to do this all of the sudden?”
I faltered, nearly dropping my measuring tape, but clenched my jaw and let my smile return to my face. She didn't need to know about my struggle. She had enough on her mind already. So, I shrugged my shoulders as I wrote the last of her measurements down. I then got out my camera, taking a picture before turning to my book. I opened it, putting her photo in next to her measurements as I pondered what colors would match her coat. She was an earth tone already, which made it a challenge… that accompanied by her gray mane narrowed it down to a very narrow spectrum of shades and even less hues. Still, I stole my courage and got out my pencils and drawing paper.
“You can stay here if you want Thunderclap, this process is a bit boring for those standing by...”
I sat at my desk some hours later, tapping my pencil. I had stared at the same drawing of this dress for an hour, looking between it and Thunderclap's photo. There was something fundamentally off about the dress I had drawn. Every dress that I had ever created matched a certain canvas that was a pony's body. Now, I was being challenged. It was both frustrating and refreshing at once, to be forced to do something different. Her proportions were so specific to her that it was turning into a rather fun game to work around one problem, only to be stumped by two more. If I made the dress of normal fabrics then it would tear at her narrow shoulders if she moved any faster than a light trot. Of course I could use an unsightly thicker stitch, but that would detract from the relatively seamless design. The only fabric that retained color well enough to still stand out from her coat and meet that requirement was silk. Then the problem became silk itself, which was far too glossy to look good with her relatively opaque coat. I would need to treat it first. I would also need to change the design, yet again.
In the meantime the pegasus was looking through my old things, all the old dresses and other such miscellany. I hummed as I reworked my design for the seventeenth time. I had to admit, the more that I stared at Thunderclap's photo, the nicer she looked. Maybe it was the small smile on her face as I had taken it. Her form was unique and I found it to be a breath of fresh air, as a clothier and a stallion. Her legs exercised a certain fluidity as I saw her walk around my workroom. It was a sort of grace I didn't see in mares about Ponyville. The closest I could think of would be the aristocratic ponies that I saw about Canterlot. She didn't look at where her legs were as she walked, a common trait for ponies her age. Instead she walked with her eyes fastened on where she was going, and her legs moved her there swiftly.
I turned my attention back to the dress itself, erasing a large portion of it. I then drew a silk layer to it, that encompassed her legs and shoulders. Fabric would overlay that on her upper legs and chest, allowing me some freedom to design beyond making the dress fully out of fine silk. That would be both impractical and extremely time consuming, not to mention expensive in terms of resources. Happy with that decision, I thought about colors. I could stick with what colors she had in her coat at the moment. As I pondered it, it struck me that a subdued orange might match her light brown coat. Warm colors tended to mesh well with earth tones as long as they were used in moderation. Autumn was also around the corner, too. With a smile, I thought of the falling leaves and brisk breeze that went through Ponyville. I held the image of the season in my mind as I began to add color to the dress itself.
About a half an hour later I stood, walking over to the pegasus as she gazed at the mannequin in the corner. I ignored it. Instead I diverted my attention wholly to Thunderclap, smiling as I held out the drawing to her. She examined it, tapping her hoof on the floor.
“I like it… I think it would really look good. What do you think?”
I froze up, not knowing how to respond. This was how all the other dissapontments started. With hope. I did what I did best though, and put on a brave face for her. I wanted to make her happy. She deserved to feel appreciated. Thunderclap had done nothing to earn being forgotten by her family, so making her feel like she belonged here was something that filled me with an unwavering passion. It burned in my chest almost as bright as what I had felt for my work back then, and it made me feel awake for the first time in months. Even if this turned out to look like a dissapointment to me, so long as she loved the dress then I would make it even if it made me physically ill.
“I think that it would suit you perfectly” I said with a smile.
It earned me a smile in return, one that made me feel a warmth in my chest. I would do my best. For myself, and for her.
