Chapters Thomas and Friends: Tales from the Mainland Volume 4
Izzy Moonbow across the Atlantic Ocean
The sun rose once more over Falmouth Manor on a cold, but bright January day. Many of its occupants were still asleep; having recently moved all the stuff they would need for half the year there a few days earlier, many of them were tired after having made long journeys.
Zipp wasn't, however. She was looking out of a window at the bright morning sky, and as the sun continued to rise she started to sing.
"Hey, hey, hey, what a perfect day!
Zipp dashed down the corridor and knocked on Pipp's bedroom door. "Come on, sleepyhead! Wake up! We've got stuff to do!"
There was a shriek, followed by a loud crash. Moments later, Pipp opened the door. She did not look happy. "Zipp!" she snapped. "Why are you waking me up at this ungodly hour? Do you have any idea what time it is?"
"I was making very good time, I thought," Zipp replied.
Pipp shook her head. "That's the last time I loan you my copy of Twelth Night ." She indicated to her hair. "Now look at this mess! It's gonna take me ages to get it sorted out!"
"I'll let Sunny know we'll be late," Zipp replied, before dashing off. She knocked on Misty's door. "Come on Misty! Time to get up!"
Misty bounded over, looking oddly awake. "The mattress is more springy than I remember it," she said.
"Were you jumping up and down on it?" Zipp asked. "Pipp and I used to do that all the time- just don't tell Mom."
"I won't," Misty said. "I need to get caught up on all the childhood stuff I missed out on!"
After the two sisters and honorary sister were washed and dressed, they headed for Falmouth Lighthouse and stopped in front of the lighthouse keeper's cottage. The familiar crash of pans and bubbling of cooking fat could be heard outdoors.
"Sounds like Sunny's already busy," Pipp said, and knocked on the door.
"Coming!" called a voice, before the familiar figure of Sunny appeared behind the door. (Sunny had opened it in the meantime.) "Just had to put the frying pan down. Who wants breakfast?"
Naturally, the four friends entered the house, and Sunny got to work adding the various food items to the plates before putting the plates on the table. She then glanced to the table, and looked to her friends, and then back to the table. "Hmmm. Somebody's missing..."
"Izzy!" said Pipp. "I'll give her a buzz!"
Izzy then stumbled through the door, sort of on time. "Hey guys," she said. "Sorry I'm late. My alarm clock didn't go off for some reason. I probably forgot to change the batteries!"
"No worries," Sunny smiled. "You're here, and that's all that matters."
As was well established convention amongst the residents of this town, Sunny then started to sing.
"Hey, hey, hey, buddies, don't delay!
Izzy had picked up a bowl of cornflakes, but on the way she slipped on a puddle and the world went sailing. The bowl landed on the floor, and the cornflakes were likewise on the floor- not in the bowl, which was where they should have been.
"Oh no!" Izzy said. "My cornflakes!"
"Shouldn't those be floorflakes?" said a voice from nearby.
Izzy rolled her eyes. "Very funny, Charles."
Hitch had, unfortunately, been unable to join them owing to a prior commitment, but as they headed into town, now fully fed, they ran into him directing foot traffic.
"Hey Hitch!" Zipp called. "How you doing?"
"Things have been fine so far!" he replied. "You next!"
"You ready for another day?" Misty added.
Hitch answered those queries in song.
Good times with my buddy/
And then they all sang collectively, before forming what could be considered an impromptu dance party.
"If you feel the magic, let mе hear you say hey!
Posey wandered into town, and looked with bemusement upon the impromptu dance party that had broken out in Falmouth's town square. "Ooh, is this a flash mob?" she asked, in a tone of voice that initially suggested complaining. But her face then brightened up. "I love it! Save me a space!"
Dahlia, a local woman who ran a flower shop, dashed over as well. "Let's dance, guys!"
Windy, Posey's close friend, sped in as well. "I've always wanted to do one of these!" she said. "Am I doing this right?"
"Sure are!" Posey replied.
A while later, Sunny was off making smoothies and serving them. It seemed to be going very well, based on what she sang next.
"Smoothies flyin' off the shelves!
Windy picked up two, then headed on her way. "That's it, Windy! Nice and steady!"
Hitch picked up one and drank from it, before popping it down and giving Sunny a thumbs up. He then went back to directing traffic.
"Keepin' Falmouth town runnin' smooth!
The lorry driver just stared at him in confusion. "You stopped my lorry for a weasel crossing the road?"
Meanwhile, Zipp skidded to a stop outside Mane Melody with a box.
"Special delivery on its way!
Jazz appeared and took the box inside.
"Thank goodness, Zipp, you saved the day!
Inside Mane Melody, Pipp was helping to direct operations. She was having limited success.
"Ooh, you're lookin' gorge!" she sang.
The customer looked over. "Are you saying I look like a hole in the ground?"
"No, because gorgeous doesn't fit the metre!" Pipp replied. She then continued singing.
"A little higher, please?
Moments later, everybody was suddenly teleported back to the town square for another flash mob moment. They had long since stopped questioning how any of this worked. Pipp was now singing backing vocals.
"If you feel the magic, let me hear you say hey!
The sky was then filled with spectacular light and sound almost like a fireworks display, and everybody looked up on wonder. "Not a bad way to open the story, eh?" Izzy said, smiling.
"What stor- oh, never mind!"
Meanwhile, a large green engine arrived at Truro. He had large frames which slowly curved upwards, and two large wheel splashers and a shorter third one. His parallel boiler was thick and heavy with a roundtop firebox, and he had two inside cylinders which powered six driving wheels. He had a short tender as well, and was painted in a light green livery with black boiler banding. His tender carried the letters LNER.
"We have arrived," he said, as Allura took a look outside.
"Excellent," Allura said, as she took a drink from a water bottle. "I know it is usually cold at this time of year, but it does get very hot on the footplate." She sighed as she looked at the bottle. "And already the water is hot. I'll need to refill it somewhere."
"I believe the place Sir Percy found for us to use as a base is just down the line," Alfred said.
"Good," Allura said. "Let's keep moving- there must be some place here that isn't so hot."
Izzy was down on the dockside with Porter, shunting trucks. The winter sun hung lazily in the sky, casting all sorts of interesting shadows.
"Everything OK, Izzy?" he asked.
"I don't know," Izzy said. "I don't exactly feel the creative juices flowing right now, and there's only so much shunting trucks can inspire me to do."
"We heard that!" said a truck.
"All you need is a new perspective on things," Porter said, with a smile. "That always worked for me. How about making hats?"
"Did that two years ago and somehow ended up with a record player."
"Sky trails?"
"Did that last week!"
"Sandcastle?"
"The tide'll wash it away!" Izzy sighed sadly, as she looked out to sea. "There's limitless potential out there- and I can't seem to tap into it. Normally I can imagine some new idea from assembled junk, but I'm looking at it and nothing's there." Her eyes widened in shock. "What if the creative block is back?"
That evening, the six friends gathered outside the engine shed to find Izzy looking glum.
"What's wrong, Izzy?" Sunny asked.
Izzy looked up, miserable. "Why me?"
"Are you hurt?" Zipp asked.
"Can we help?" Misty asked.
"And, slightly more importantly, how?" Pipp added.
Izzy sighed again. "I've got creative block... again !"
"Didn't we do this plotline two years ago?" Sophie asked.
"Enough with the meta jokes already!" Salty interrupted.
Pipp sat down next to her. "Trust me, I know exactly what this is like," she said. "I've been left unable to start or finish projects due to it. But that's often an important warning that you're doing too much and not taking rests."
"Really?" Izzy said. "It just feels like I've lost the very thing which defines who I am. If I cannot craft and unicycle, then who am I?"
"I suspect you've got creative burnout," Pipp continued. "Often this can come from a lack of variety in your environment. For example, I was struggling to come up with new song ideas one time, but after taking a holiday I had the idea for a whole new album?"
Misty then chimed in. "Remember this is all temporary," she said, placing a hand on Izzy's shoulder. "It may feel hopeless, and I sure know what that feels like- being Opaline's personal punching bag rather does that to you. But you will always have people by your side who love you, no matter what."
"Why not try going to another place and giving the alternate environment idea a go?" Zipp asked.
Izzy nodded. An idea was starting to form in her mind.
Allura backed Alfred into the cave and glanced around. "Seems oddly stable for a mine tunnel," she said.
Alfred noticed this too. "New pit props, put in within the last two years," he said. "Somebody has been in here recently."
Allura hopped down from his footplate and looked about. "Not perfect, but it'll do," she smiled. She then bent down and spotted something on a rock. "Wait a second. That's a white fibre." She picked it up, and sniffed it. "Perfume, expensively made clothing, probably designer." She frowned. "Just our luck. Turns out those idiots we found in Chicago were in here as well."
"How can you tell that?" Alfred asked.
"The fibre is from one of Pipp's dresses. She left a similar one behind in the Green Door Tavern." Allura sighed. "Oh well. We can hide her un-noticed. Who is going to look in an abandoned mineshaft?"
Izzy snuck around the side of the lighthouse to find the access tunnel to Lighthouse Quarry. "I have an idea!" she said to herself. "If I simply go in search of our friends across the water, no doubt I'll be able to find some inspiration. And maybe this little trinket will help." She held up the Nova Charm, which she had found in Swanage several months earlier. "If you're not feeling your best, it's time to go on a quest!"
The Nova Charm glowed, and Izzy vanished in a flash of light.
Goldie looked out of the window. "Oh? That's funny. Could've sworn there was a bright light."
The mysterious portal spat Izzy out on an island seemingly covered in snow. Izzy looked around her and shivered. "Brrr! This place sure is cold!"
A voice then spoke. "Hey Izzy! Fancy seeing you here!"
Izzy looked over to see Comet walking over. "Hey Comet!"
"So, what brings you to Misty Island?"
Izzy sighed. "I've been having creative block recently, and I was wondering if you had any tips for dealing with it?"
Comet looked surprised. "You sure travelled a long way to try and fix creative block. But I think I have something that may help. I find that stargazing can help get the issue dealt with, but you need to do it in doses or else you might get dizzy."
"COMET! THESE LOGS WON'T CUT THEMSELVES!"
Comet looked over his shoulder. "On my way, Violet!" He looked back. "Sorry, gotta go. Hope that helps!"
Izzy had no chance to react before the Nova Charm opened another portal and sucked her in.
Comet shook his head. "What is it about this place and people falling into and out of portals?"
The portal then ejected Izzy out into a large desert area, with some mountains in the distance. "This place doesn't look at all familiar," she said. "And why is it so hot?"
"PONY EXPRESS COMING THROUGH!"
Suddenly, an engine painted black with elaborate lining, an enormous smokestack, a set of huge domes, and a wooden cab roared out of the distance, blowing its whistle loudly. As Izzy looked, it started to slow down, before coming to a halt in front of Izzy.
"Request stop?" the engine asked, his tender revealing his name to be Nebraska.
"Where am I?" Izzy asked.
"Utah, 1869," the driver said. Izzy recognised her as one of the drivers they'd met on Sodor recently. "Nice to see you again, Izzy, but what are you doing in the past?"
"I'm trying to find a cure for my creative block," Izzy said. "I'm trying to create new things, but it all seems blocked up somehow. How can I get it out?"
Nebraska laughed. "Nothing gets the adrenaline pumping like running at high speed. Join us in the cab for a blast down the line."
Izzy clambered up into the cab. "So, how can you feel adrenaline? That would imply you are at least partially biological."
Nebraska rolled his eyes. "Metaphor. That Paul's Vids has a lot to answer for."
Izzy stuck her head out of the cab as they thundered along. "How fast are we going?" she asked.
Blaize glanced out. "These engines don't have speedometers, but I estimate about 40 miles an hour!"
Izzy cheered. "This feels so fast!" The cab floor pitched and rocked about as Nebraska's cylinders pounded back and forth, the coaches also rocking slightly. Thankfully, nobody had put a bath inside the coaches.
Nebraska dropped Izzy off at the next stop, and laughed. "See what I mean?"
Izzy nodded. "Yep. I'm feeling so energised!"
Just then, another portal opened, and Izzy got sucked in.
Blaize sighed. "Well, that was weird. Better get back to work."
No sooner had Izzy found herself in the portal it fired her back out in Chicago, where she stood on the seafront. Or lakefront, if we're going to get technical.
"Now, I wonder why I'm here?" she asked.
"That's one of life's great questions, Izzy!" said a familiar voice. Izzy turned around to see Ten Cents and Anenome standing there. Well, Ten Cents was floating as he was a boat, but you know what I mean.
"What brings you to Chicago, Izzy?" Ten Cents asked. "It only feels like ten minutes since you were last here."
"Well, I need to find a cure for my creative block, but this thing is dropping me off in all sorts of random places."
Ten Cents smiled. "How about a joke? Even if you're feeling down and having a bad day, a bit of humour can often help to lift spirits. How about this one? A man walks into a bar. Ouch, he says!"
Izzy snorted with laughter. "That's a good one!"
Anenome smiled. "It's sure helped the tugs with the Navy Pier renovation. We're putting up all these new rides!"
Izzy was about to reply, but then got sucked into another portal.
The final portal dropped Izzy off in Falmouth proper, revealing very little time had elapsed since she had left. Sitting before her were the ruins of the old Falmouth amusement park. As she wondered through them, she imagined in her mind the fun and laughter that used to fill these corridors and pathways, with rides and sideshows of all shapes and sizes.
Wait, imagined... why just imagine it? Why not do something with it?
In that moment, Izzy had an idea. A strange, wonderful idea.
That night, she resolved to set out on her greatest project yet, and messaged her friends.
Guys, I've got it!
Sunny was the first to reply.
What's going on, Izzy?
I've been seized!
Was it something you ate?
Izzy chortled, and posted her reply. No, seized with inspiration! We're gonna restore the old amusement park to her former glory!
Author's Note
Hello, everybody, and welcome to the fourth volume of Tales from the Mainland! As the first of these anthologies from the Allura Era (as I'm dubbing the final era of G5) the tone shall be a tad different. We kick off proceedings with an adaption of the Tell your Tale special The Blockywockies , with the core plot lightly altered to fit the TTTE setting.
To symbolise the start of a new era, I decided incorporating Alfred, possibly the most infamous Thomas and Friends OC, into the narrative would be a good fit. Alfred made his debut in the 2009 fanfilm Sodor: the Dark Times , and fans latched onto him owing to different he was to most Thomas fan characters of the era. Here, he is modelled on Discworld character Lord Vetinari, hence my choice of Charles Dance as a voice actor (Dance portrayed Vetinari in the Discworld film series).
Creative block is an issue often discussed in the G5 franchise, being the focus of an episode of Make your Mark and Tell your Tale. Although I have been crippled by it sometimes, in several cases utterly bizarre projects emerged as a result. Two notable examples are An Apple a Day and the Rebirth of Magic setting.
The mine tunnel Allura is using as a base is the same one from Portrait of a Crompton (where Pipp and Zipp got stuck).
The locales Izzy travels to are Misty Island, 1860s Utah, and Chicago. All of these are previously visited locations in the series- and for those wondering what happened to the 1860s engines this shall be covered in an upcoming story.
The Blockywockies memorably ended with Izzy's magic restoring an abandoned amusement park to its former glory. I, however, have decided to expand this out into a story arc in its own right. We shall keep checking in on them as the story progresses, so watch this space!
Thomas and Friends: Tales from the Mainland Volume 4
The roads around Falmouth were in urgent need of a new renovation. They were once again full of potholes thanks to botched repairs done by the local council, and as a result they had been forced to call the workmen in to fix them again. As the saying goes, 'get something done cheaply, you pay twice'.
This work crew consisted largely of workers, but they also had a large green steamroller named George. I am sorry to say that he and his driver, a woman called Cozy Glow, were absolute pieces of work. One morning, Porter rolled into the yard to collect them, so they could be taken to a new worksite. When they arrived, George was being rude to Bellerophon and Misty.
"Call yourself a working engine, eh?" George laughed. "You're just worn out wheels on worn out rails! Rip the rails up and lay road in their place, that's what I say!"
Bellerophon looked annoyed. "Your roads are built from raw materials we extract from the quarry!" he said. "Without us you'd have no roads to build!"
"It doesn't work like that, dearie," Cozy Glow said, with her usual mix of false concern and sarcasm. "They'd just move the stone and rocks in lorries."
"Lorries?" Misty asked.
"I think we did that joke last year," Bellerophon said.
"Besides, nobody would notice if they flattened you," George said.
Porter buffered up to the flatbed George was on and decided to speak up. "That's quite enough, you bag of bolts," he said. "I will not tolerate anybody speaking to my friends in that manner. Now say sorry or you're going nowhere."
George rolled his eyes. "Sorry you can't take a joke, Bellerophon."
"Can we get moving?" said the guard. "We've been sitting here for ages."
When they got underway George was still complaining. "Railways are no good! Turn them into roads!"
Bellerophon was pleased George was gone. "Rollers are rubbish! Good riddance to old rubbish!"
Misty sat down on a nearby bench and sighed. "Why is the world full of so many nasty people?" she asked, rhetorically.
"I don't know," Bellerophon admitted. "But that doesn't mean we can't try and bring some positivity to the world."
Misty nodded. "That's true. Mom said she was going to try and meet me for lunch, so that's something to look forward to."
Porter dropped George off at the first work site near Penrhyn, where George was still moaning. "That was a bumpy ride," he grumbled. "Glad that's over."
"Frankly, so am I," Porter said. "The day when I never see you again cannot come soon enough."
Izzy leaned out of the cab. "You know George, if you spent less time being spiteful and more time trying to be positive the world would be a better place. You'd probably enjoy yourself more too."
"Right," George said. "Still, least I get to flatten tarmac now."
Once Porter was uncoupled, he made his way up to Perranwell, where he encountered Charles with a freight train.
"Having a good day?" Charles called. He then noticed Porter looked annoyed. "Did somebody put sugar in the water tank?"
"No, it's that George," Porter fumed. "He's really rude to everybody. He won't stop complaining!"
Charles sighed. "I know this will sound highly bizarre coming from me, but ignore him. If you never let anybody see your buttons, they won't be able to push them."
Zipp leaned out of the cab. "That's what I do whenever Pipp is being annoying. Or that time mom tried to cook spaghetti and nearly blew up the cooker."
With that, the signal changed, and Charles was on his way. Izzy sighed. "I hope they get the road problem fixed. That steamroller is mean. And I don't like people who are mean."
"With you, mate."
George was busy flattening tarmac to fill the potholes, and his mood had improved considerably. "This is the life," he said. "Getting the roads repaired, and then off to the next one. The freedom of the roads awaits!"
"You're already on a road," Cozy said.
"I was referring to the freedom of the drivers when the repairs are done," George replied. "Then they shall be able to get back in their cars and drive whenever they want rather than having to suffer the tyranny of railway timetables!"
Just then, Charles rolled through with the freight from earlier. George called over. "What do you think of this, eh?"
Charles just ignored him.
Once Charles was away and clear, George smiled. "I'll pay him out for ignoring me," he smiled, as he eyed the nearby level crossing.
Charles pulled into Perranwell and dropped off the empty tankers from his train for the fuel depot. "Hello Salty!" he said. "Fancy seeing you up here!"
"I fancied a change of scenery," Salty said, "so Sunny pulled a few strings and got us working up here!"
Sunny leaned out of the cab. "It's a very different working environment, I can tell you." Her face then switched to a look of confusion. "Guys... why is the music echoing?"
"Good question," Zipp said. "It's possible that whomever was doing the dub forgot to remove the original dub track and put it slightly out of sync with the main audio."
Charles was, by this point, run round his train to propel the remaining trucks into another siding. "Just another strange occurrance on the Maritime Line, eh!" he snorted, as his engine revved up.
Within a few minutes, the return train was formed, largely consisting of tankers carrying chocolate syrup... for some reason. Nobody was quite sure why the oil terminal had started a sideline in chocolate syrup making, but then again if a firearms maker can switch to making motorbikes then a oil company can produce chocolate.
Charles was soon on his way back up the line, and was enjoying the run tremendously. "That's the good thing about these TTA tankers!" he said. "We can run at line speed! FEEL THE SPEED!"
Zipp looked ahead. "We're still limited to 40 miles per hour, remember."
"Still, could be worse."
And it was about to get worse. As they approached Penrhyn, Zipp applied the emergency brake. "Those idiots have tarmaced over the rails!" she shouted.
Suddenly, Charles started bouncing up and down, and his leading bogie lurched to the left. He and his train left the rails and began skidding down the road. Charles' brakes were still applied, but with no rails to grip they were having minimal effect. He just slid helplessly along.
Zipp blasted the horn to warn any cars in the way, and workmen ran for cover as Charles and his train ploughed along. Charles was particularly worried. "I'd quite like to be in a shed now!" he said.
Suddenly, he lurched to one side and up ahead was a garden shed.
"THIS IS NOT WHAT I MEANT!"
He smashed into the shed and clean through it, coming to a stop on the other side. "Ow..."
Zipp shut off his engine and jumped down from the cab, before walking back down the train. By some miracle, part of the train had detached from the formation and was still on the mainline.
Just then, Zipp noticed the signal at the other end of the station had gone to green. "This is bad," she said. She dashed over to the signal box and waved to the signalman. "SET THE SIGNALS TO RED!"
"On it!" the signalman replied, and began pulling levers. Just then, a familiar whistle echoed through the air.
"Rebecca's approaching!" Charles shouted. "We need to stop her!"
Zipp, without hesitating, grabbed a red flag from a nearby bucket and ran to the opposite end of the platform before holding it out. "STOP! YOU HAVE TO STOP!"
Rebecca was running tender first, and as a result couldn't see Zipp at all. But she could hear something was wrong. "Hitch, something's going on!" she shouted.
Hitch had been watching the signals, and glanced down to see Zipp waving a red flag. "Looks like we're stopping!" he shouted, as he slammed the brakes on. The brake blocks screeched as the train slowed down- and eventually stopped in the platform, narrowly avoiding hitting the brake van.
"Good thing we didn't hit that going at full speed," Hitch said. "We'd probably have derailed."
"But why is the line blocked?" Rebecca asked. "Charles is supposed to wait in the loop, not before it!"
Zipp walked over. "Those idiot road workers decided to lay tarmac on top of the rails, and we derailed on it. The foreman won't be happy."
"Excuse me? I'm still embedded in a building over here!"
A breakdown train was sent to clean up the mess, and the foreman was not pleased- albeit not with Zipp. "The town council shall have to answer for this," he said. "Poor quality for a low price is not a good deal, but no matter how many times I tell them that they don't listen."
The construction crew were sent away, and new workmen did the job again- a lot better, might I add. As they say, go cheap and you pay twice.
Author's Note
This story is an adaptation of the Thomas and Friends episode Bye, George! . This episode is notable for being George's final speaking appearance in the show, although he was supposed to have appeared in the 23rd Season episode Free the Roads .
Charles' comment about the audio echoing is a reference to the echo tapes, a series of Thomas and Friends home media releases in the United States in the 1990s. These tapes get their name from the odd 'echo' sound the background music has, caused by the raw dubbing track being accidentally layered on top of the finished dub audio. The echo is caused by the two tracks being slightly out of sync; the most extreme example of this is a re-release of Percy's Predicament, where the audio layers are half a second out of sync. This quickly becomes very irritating to watch.
BSA are a name synonymous with racing motorbikes, but it may surprise you to learn they started life as a firearms manufacturer; the company name stands for Birmingham Small Arms. Curiously, the acronym is better known in popular use than the company name, similar to how a lot of people don't know that P&O stands for Peninsular and Oriental and talk of PIN numbers (the N in PIN stands for number).
The crash in both the episode and this adaptation is believed to be based on an incident that occurred in Scotland in 1969. In that incident, a railtour on the line from Garnqueen South Junction to Bedlay Colliery was forced to stop when it emerged workmen building the M7 Motorway had already torn up part of the track- before they were supposed to.
Thomas and Friends: Tales from the Mainland Volume 4
The Maritime Line is very popular with railway enthusiasts owing to the large numbers of heritage locomotives that work there. Many of them also bring cameras and video cameras too, so they can film what they see going by and show the pictures and videos to friends and family. Or, failing that, upload it to YouTube. Whilst it has led to a few question marks as to whether rights surrounding filming apply to railway equipment, the engines themselves have different views about being filmed.
Some, such as Charles, enjoy the attention they get from the cameras. He feels it is only right and proper people are filming diesel locomotives for posterity, given how they often got the cold shoulder back in steam days. Others, such as Porter, fear being filmed will distract him from his work at the dockside.
Around that time, Fergus and Tempest Shadow were visiting from their usual base in Darlington, helping out at Lighthouse Quarry. Unlike some engines, Fergus was happy to be filmed- provided visitors were following all the rules, of course. "We appreciate the views!" he would say. "But stay a safe distance away and keep off the tracks. Get it right!"
Most railway enthusiasts do follow all the rules and respect the engines, as they realise that engines are large and heavy pieces of machinery. They cannot easily slow down and stop, and could severely injure or even kill someone who got hit.
Most railway enthusiasts appreciate this. Sadly, there are some bad eggs who think the rules do not apply to them. And this is a problem, as all it takes is for a few bad eggs to ruin the fun of everybody else, as anybody who follows the railtour scene will be able to testify.
Some stand too close to the line, or do daft things like climbing up signal poles to get a better view. One even stood on the level crossing, nearly causing an accident. Sophie and Pipp had not been very happy with him.
One day, one of these bad eggs, a teenage railway enthusiast, arrived at Lighthouse Quarry. Lighthouse Quarry had recently allowed filming via permit, which had to be secured from the foreman's office. There were a limited number of these, so the foreman knew precisely how many trainspotters were on site at any one time. Fergus and the other engines didn't mind, provided the trainspotters stayed a safe distance away. "Do it right!" Fergus would remind them, sometime ad nauseam.
The teenager secured a filming permit, and was then taken to the safety briefing. Tempest Shadow quickly filled him in. "Ensure you stay a safe distance from the track," she said, "and avoid the use of flash bulbs, as these can startle and blind engine crews. Always obey any instructions given to you by a member of staff. And most importantly of all- do it right. If a location feels unsafe, it probably is, so move to a new spot and always watch for vehicles moving."
"Understood!" the teenager said. He set up his camera to record some shunting moves, keeping a safe distance away. Unfortunately, nobody knew that this was a ruse. He had other ideas. Terrible, dangerous ideas.
As I alluded to earlier, railway enthuisasts often upload footage they have recorded to platforms such as YouTube and TikTok. Whilst this activity in and out of itself is harmless, people hunting for views can be very dangerous, as they often disregard common sense.
The teenager was one of these people. His social media presence was not as big as some of his contemporaries, and as such he had plans to make his channel go big- just not in a good way. He rubbed his hands with glee. "If this works, I'll be bigger than Chris Eden-Green and Geoff Marshall combined!" he said, smugly.
"Where did these dodgems come from?" Sunny asked.
"We got them delivered for the amusement park," Izzy said. "Would you like to test them?"
"I guess," Sunny said, before hopping into one.
Hitch was manning the stand. "Remember everybody!" he said. "Drive sensibly, and try to avoid spinning the cars. Keep to the speed limits, and ensure you drive safely."
"I thought crashing into each other was the point!" said a passenger.
"OK, it is," Hitch said. "But you must crash into each other safely. Drive sensibly and try to avoid sending people home with concussions, OK?"
He hit the start button, and with the ring of a bell the cars were underway. They whizzed about and slammed into one another, sending cars flying and bouncing about.
"Hey, this is fun!" Sunny smiled. "Reminds me of my visits to Paignton Pier!"
"Did you go there often?" Izzy asked.
"Yeah, sometimes," Sunny replied. "But that's all in the past no- HEY! WATCH IT!"
One car slammed into her and set her spinning, before she slammed into a wall. "How do I reverse this thing?"
Izzy slammed into another car and span it round. "Like a record, baby!" she said.
Suddenly, another series of collisions signalled the end of the run, and people started jumping out- before Hitch had sounded the bell.
"Get back in your vehicles!" he shouted. "I haven't said it's safe to move!"
Sunny sighed. "It's always annoying when people decide the rules don't apply to them," she said. "They ruin the fun for everybody else, and it's always tedious educating them on proper safety."
Sunny had no way of knowing it, but her words perfectly described what the teenager was doing at that exact moment. He started breaking the rules on purpose. He set his camera up too close to the track, causing Fergus to whistle at him. "Move that camera back!" he snapped. "You're far too close!"
"Sorry!" the teenager replied, although in reality he wasn't.
So, he set his camera up right next to the loader- with predictable results. "Do it right!" Fergus said to him. "You're far too close to the loader! What if a rock hit you?"
"Whoops! I guess I'm too close!" the teenager said.
Tempest rolled her eyes. "You sure are. Move back, now."
Truth be told she was beginning to have her doubts about the teenager, and when they went to shunt some loaded trucks to the main yard in Falmouth she raised this with Fergus.
"I'm not convinced our visitor is all that interested in following the rules," she said.
Fergus wasn't too worried, though. "I think he's just eager," he said. "We were all like that once."
"But what if he gets hurt?" Tempest asked.
Sophie then arrived to pick up the trucks. "What's going on?" she asked.
"There's this kid in the quarry who's filming," Tempest explained. "We've had to correct him on rules procedure at least twice now. Haven't had to do that in a long time."
Pipp popped her head out of the cab. "That is concerning. Speaking as somebody who does a lot of filming, I always make sure there is plenty of space and no obstacles around me when filming. Don't want to bash into some buffers whilst talking, that's for sure!"
"Or drop down into a mine," Fergus added.
"Or role into an ocean because you passed a danger sign," Tempest added. "Come on, Fergus. Let's get this lot taken to the Quarry."
As Fergus rumbled back into Lighthouse Quarry with his empties, he suddenly felt himself lurch in the wrong direction. "I don't think we're meant to be going into this siding!" he said.
Tempest had spotted the problem, and slammed on the brakes. "This siding has stock in it!" she shouted. The brake blocks screeched as they tried to slow down, but it was too late. Fergus slammed into the parked vans and came to an abrupt stop.
"Are you alright?" he asked Tempest.
Tempest groaned. "I think so. But- OI! GET BACK HERE!"
The teenager was making a run for it! Luckily, security staff intercepted him and dragged him back to the quarry itself.
"I didn't do anything!" the teenager said. "Get your hands off me!"
"The security camera suggests otherwise," said a member of staff. The video he was playing showed the teenager changing some points when nobody was looking, then positioning his camera with a clear view of the crash.
"You caused the crash on purpose!" Fergus said. "But why?"
"So I could get popular online!" he said. "Train crashes always do very well for views!"
Tempest was furious. "So, let me get this straight," she said, her voice betraying a tranquil fury. "You deliberately caused an accident... all for views?"
"Yes."
"Social media presence is no excuse for breaking laws and compromising safety," said Pipp, who had suddenly arrived. "I know I sometimes look like a vapid airhead, but safety rules are paramount. What you did was against the law, and I'm certain the Judge will find your reasoning interesting."
The teenager was later sentenced to three years in a Young Offenders Institution, as he was not yet 18. For a time, the quarry decided to remove permits until they felt they could trust trainspotters again. Proof that all it takes to ruin everybody's fun is the actions of one bad apple.
Author's Note
This chapter is loosely based on a Thomas and Friends fan episode of the same name, which itself is based on an incident where a railfan intentionally caused a derailment with the intent to film it. Safety on railways is always paramount, which is why it is infuriating when people decide they know better. Whilst the news is often filled with horror stories of the lengths people will go to in order to film Flying Scotsman (including walking on active railway lines to get better shots), I've seen a fair share of idiocy on heritage railways too. So always be safe-remember, all it takes is one accident for everything to be lost.
Thomas and Friends: Tales from the Mainland Volume 4
Winters in Cornwall are often the polar opposite of its summers. The artic winds lash in from the Atlantic, blanketing the coastline in cold air. Waves strike the shoreline, often leaving those unprepared with an unexpected shower. And it often brings heavy snow. Very heavy snow.
In these conditions, people and engines often prefer to stay in the warmth. But everybody knows that work doesn't stop because the silly soft stuff has arrived. One freezing morning, Sophie was making her way up the line with the morning passenger train bound for Truro. The snow and wind lashed the coaches something fierce, and the train was thankfully fairly warm.
"Good thing these coaches are heated!" said one passenger. "Or else we'd be ice blocks!"
Sophie shared the same sentiment. "I imagine the passengers like the fact I have electric train heat," she said. "Nobody really likes the cold all that much."
Pipp looked out of the cab. "The sooner we're back in the warmth, the better," she said. "Cold air tends to bring me out in spots." As she looked ahead, she saw a red flag being waved back and forth. "Looks like we're stopping!" She applied the brakes and brought the train to a stop.
A passenger leaned out of a window. "I'm late for work! What's the holdup?"
Sophie looked down at the man standing at the lineside. He was wearing a heavy winter coat, and was holding a red flag. "Can we help you?" she asked.
"I was rather hoping you'd help," the man said. "I'm a local farmer, and my sheep are trapped on the hillside. Unfortunately, they've just started lambing, and I can't get any help in by road as those are blocked. Furthermore, my telephone line has fallen down, and I need to contact a vet. Can you help me?"
Pipp nodded. "Perranwell is just up the line. We'll phone for a vet from there. Fetch the vet, so to speak."
Sophie sighed. "Pipp, I don't think anybody in the audience is going to get that joke..."
Goldie sat in her office, listening to the wind whistling outside. She had been on hold for about thirty minutes now, and the piano music that was playing was starting to grate on her nerves.
"Just my luck that the day I choose to renew my passport they choose to man the desks with sloths," she grumbled. "If VivaRail worked like this the company would go bust."
The British Civil Service is known for many things. Customer service, however, is not one of them. After another ten minutes of waiting, she finally got through to a real person.
"Good morning, how can I help you?" the civil servant said, in a very unfriendly voice.
Goldie spoke up. "Hi, I'm trying to get my passport renewed."
"OK, can I ask for your name, date of birth, and the number of your current passport?"
Goldie held her passport up. "My name is Gloria Starshine. My date of birth is 11th October, 1980. My passport number is 902-101."
"OK, let me just check that."
Another long wait.
"I'm sorry, we cannot find you in the system. Would you be prepared to do some verification checks with us?"
Goldie sighed. "OK, I'll do that."
Sophie blasted into Perranwell and came to a stop in the platform. Pipp handed the engine over to a member of platform crew then made her way to the signal box to call for help.
"Hello? We need a vet sent to one of the local farms, and quickly. Could you pass on the message?"
There was an unhelpful voice on the other end. "This phone line is for official railway use only. Non essential messages cannot be sent using this system."
"But there are lambs stranded, and-!"
"Stranded lambs are not the responsibility of the railway. If the farmer needs a vet he should phone them himself."
"His phone line is down and he cannot get a call through!"
"Then tell him to use a mobile phone. Most people these days have mobile phones." The call then abruptly ended.
Pipp put the receiver down. "That was possibly one of the rudest men I have ever spoken to."
"OK then, Mrs Starshine, we're sending a 20 digit verification number to the phone number we have on file."
"Send it through," Goldie replied. She had made sure to update her phone number with them as she'd gotten a new number a little while back.
But even after 10 minutes nothing arrived.
"Has it arrived yet, Mrs Starshine?"
"No, not yet. Are you sure you sent it to the correct number?"
"I'm sorry, in order for me to disclose the number you would have to send in another form. Can we try another form of identification?"
"Would a birth certificate work?" Goldie asked.
"That would work."
"I'll email the scan now."
Even as Pipp tried to scrape together some sort of response, even phoning a vet privately, the weather worsened still. Snow was starting to pile up in such great amounts that the line was getting blocked. The vet was now riding in the rear cab.
"We only took a snowplough to this lot yesterday!" said the station master. "However shall we get through?"
Just then, Rebecca arrived, with a snowplough fitted. "I can help get through!" she said. With her short train she set off into the snow.
She returned a few minutes later, looking defeated. "The cutting before the tunnel is completely snowed in!" she said. "We had to turn back or else we'd have been stranded! You'd need explosives to shift that lot!"
"And explosives are not something I happen to have on me," Hitch said grimly. "This snow is such a nuisance!"
Sophie then had an idea. "I remember something we did in the old days, when Bincombe Tunnel was blocked!" she said. "We'd have a diesel out front with a snowplough, and a steam engine behind to provide extra power. We could punch through those drifts with ease."
"It's worth a shot," Rebecca said, who began to reverse for the coupling procedure.
"I'm afraid I cannot follow this birth certificate. Could I have your British one?"
Oh Bloody Hell, not this again, Goldie thought to herself. "I don't have a British birth certificate as I wasn't born in the UK. I was born in the United States."
"Why does it say Rhode Island on it then?"
"That's where I was born. US States issue their own birth certificates."
There was a moment of silence. "Where is Rhode Island? I can't place it on a map."
Internally, Goldie wanted to scream. But she had no choice but to go along. "It's next to Connecticut and Massachusetts."
"I'm going to need to put you on hold again."
Goldie got up and ensured the phone was on silent. "What did I do to deserve this?"
Sophie and Rebecca battled their way through the harsh winter snow, the wind continuing to howl around them. "I hope this works!" Rebecca said.
"You can say that again!" Sophie replied. "Nervous?"
"Yes."
"First time?" Pipp quipped, adjusting the windscreen wipers to combat the increased snowfall.
"Nope!" Hitch replied. "I've been nervous lots of times!"
The snowdrift blocking the tunnel loomed before them like a giant white mountain, with the dark sky rendering it impossible to tell where the snowdrift stopped and the sky began. The two engines approached it at speed.
"I hope this works," Pipp said, before advancing the throttle lever. "CHARGE!"
The two engines thundered forward into the snowdrift, colliding with it with incredible force. The snow was blown to one side from the impact, and surged upwards as they hammered onwards into the tunnel. Once they were through to the other side, they were home free and well on their way.
The farmer continued to stand by the lineside, looking worried. "If this weather gets any worse I won't be able to walk to the next village," he said. Just then, he heard a diesel engine and a steam loco working in unison, and at last the light of Sophie loomed out of the fog.
Sophie rattled to a stop. "Sorry we're late!" she said. "But we fetched the vet!"
The vet climbed down from the other cab. "Now then, lead me to the lambs."
Luckily, all turned out to be well. The lambs were safe, and Sophie was praised for her bravery.
"Mrs Starshine?"
The voice on the other end was different to before, and Goldie answered. "Hello?"
"Apologies for the SNAFU there. I've been able to get to the bottom of why they couldn't find you in the system."
"Why, if you don't mind me asking?"
"Somebody didn't realise Americans write the month first. Your new passport is on its way; expect it within five working days."
"Thank you," Goldie said, and with the final greetings ended the call. She stepped out of her office to find Argyle there.
"We got sent home early because of the snow," he said. "Did you have a fun time?"
Goldie sighed. "Only the usual with the Civil Service. However did Britain win the War?"
Author's Note
This is an adaptation of the Thomas and Friends episode Toby had a Little Lamb , combined with a subplot based on my own experiences of trying to apply for student finance. The hoops that Goldie has to jump through are similar to my own experience; they had, in fact, written my date of birth down incorrectly and put that into the system, and nobody had double checked it. The date of birth element is based on me applying to study in the United States and once accidentally writing the day and month the wrong way round.
Thomas and Friends: Tales from the Mainland Volume 4
It was a dark morning in Falmouth. Dark clouds moved overhead, and the sky was full of rain and flashes of lightning. Unknown to many, a submarine was moving in the depths, and snuck into the harbour before surfacing.
"Das ist alles, was wir tun," said the submarine commander. Looking to a man on his left, standing on the access hatch. "Viel Glück." (This is as far as we go. Good luck.)
The man on the ladder looked back. "Vielen Dank, hauptmann, dass Sie mich so weit gebracht haben. Ich werde dafür sorgen, dass das Vaterland Sie für Ihre Arbeit reichlich belohnt." (Thank you, Captain, for getting me this far. I shall see to it that the Fatherland rewards you greatly for your work.) He then opened the top hatch and boarded a boat before setting off towards the harbour proper.
The man looked back as the submarine dived, and laughed to himself. "Diese Engländer sind völlige Idioten. Wir haben uns ohne Schwierigkeiten durch ihre Marine geschlichen. Aber hatte die Luftwaffe zu kämpfen?" (These English are complete fools. We snuck through their navy with no difficulty. However did the Luftwaffe struggle?)
The boat docked on the beach, and the man collected his equipment and supplies from the boat- supplies, a false British uniform, and his Enigma machine for transmitting back to his superiors in Berlin. As he looked about, he spoke again. "Es sollte eine leichte Aufgabe sein, diese Stadt zu infiltrieren. Keiner von ihnen kann mich aufhalten – nicht einmal Hauptmann Roberts!" (Infiltrating this town should be an easy task. None of them can stop me- not even Captain Roberts!)
"That doesn't make any sense!"
"CUT!" shouted a voice, and suddenly all stopped. A man sitting in a chair looked over the scene, his green beard and hair making him look quite unhappy. "What is it now?"
"Sorry, Mr Zoom," Sunny said. "But for Agent Bohrmann to be mentioning Captain Roberts now doesn't make any sense. At this point in the story he has no clue who Captain Roberts is, and as a result this will create a plot hole later on."
Mr Zoom just stared at her blankly.
"What? People who have read the original book are going to notice."
Mr Zoom sighed. "Alright, Sunny. Reset the beach scene, but omit the last section of the final sentence!"
Falmouth had suddenly become a film set, albeit one of a different kind to previous years. The town had been taken over by a film studio shooting a WW2 movie there, based on a bestselling thriller by Creeping Jenny (her pen name, you understand). Sunny and her friends had been recruited as extras for the film, as well as the engines, and were currently being fitted into period clothing.
Zipp was not enjoying herself. "Can I at least wear pants?" she asked.
Pipp was also a tad disappointed. "Not enough poof for my taste," she said. "I prefer fifties fashion for that reason."
Sunny, however, was concerned. "I took a look over the script," she said, "and I was a bit concerned with all the stuff they've gotten wrong. Not just the opening beach scene, but other stuff too. They have a character mentioning the Enigma machine when nobody outside of Military Intelligence would have known what one was, Hitch pointed out an incorrect weapon for 1942, and there's also-"
Pipp glanced over. "Mr Zoom's just giving the audience what they want, Sunny," she said. "Most people won't be able to tell an STG Whatever from a Browning and Koch anyway. It's just a movie, Sunny, you should probably just relax."
"But given that a worrying number of people get their knowledge of WW2 and history in general from movies, doesn't that give movie directors even more of a reason to depict things accurately?" Sunny countered. "Christopher Nolan did for Dunkirk, and the results were great!"
"I don't think they have the budget here to rally all the Little Ships together or get an authentic Spitfire," Hitch said.
"And there's another thing! The end has a Mustang in Eigth Air Force colours fly in- two months before they arrived in the UK! And as they operated from bases in the north and east of England why would one be here?"
"Hurry it up please!" shouted a voice. "We need to shoot the train scene from when Captain Roberts arrives in Falmouth."
Sunny shook her head. "Hence why it makes absolutely no sense that Agent Bohrmann apparently knows who Captain Roberts is."
The Second Unit shot some footage from the dockfront, featuring Salty in the shot very prominently- despite, as Sunny pointing out, a Class 07 diesel shunter being completely innapropriate for the time period. Up above, Rebecca steamed in with a rake of coaches hastily repainted to hide the fact they were, in fact, BR MK1s.
"Is there any evidence for Bulleid locomotives running to Falmouth during WW2?" Rebecca asked.
"None that I know of," Hitch said. "The Spam Cans only entered production in 1945, as well, you know, and I suspect Merchant Navies were too heavy for the Brunel Bridge or the Withered Arm anyway."
He brought the train to a stop in the platform and sounded the whistle.
The actor playing the station master spoke up. "THIS IS FALMOUTH! THIS IS FALMOUTH! THIS TRAIN TERMINATES HERE! ALL PASSENGERS WISHING TO TRAVEL ONWARDS PLEASE USE OTHER TRANSPORT!"
Hitch shook his head at the parade of ineptitude on display. "Nice job telling the German spies on the train where you are, you dummy!"
Just then, the actor playing Captain Roberts stepped off the train. He was wearing an officer's uniform of the US Army.
Sunny was already concerned. "I thought Captain Roberts was British in the original novel," she said.
And then Captain Roberts spoke.
"What a fine little town this is. I should be able to root out that Nazi spy no problem."
Sunny was surprised, and noticed another actor walk over to him. "You're an American?" she asked. "Boy are you exotic. I should think you stepped off the screen of the pictures!"
Salty groaned. "That is some of the worst dialogue I have ever heard."
Sunny sighed. "Oh well. Mom got that a lot in Bristol, apparently."
"Bad dialogue?"
"No, people saying she sounded like a film star. I suppose if Hollywood is your only reference point virtually anything will do."
"Excuse me, Mr Zoom, but why is Captain Roberts American? He's British in the original book."
Mr Zoom looked at her. "Because Brad Pitt has a bigger box office pull than British actors is the simple answer. Though we wanted Hugh Laurie, another American."
"Hugh Laurie is British."
Just then, filming on the movie's climactic battle scene, where Captain Roberts was pinned down by fire from a Wehrmacht MG battery, commenced. Lots of pyrotechnics were being set off as the prop weapons were fired.
"Hitch, you're the expert. Did they have MG42s in these numbers at this stage of the war?"
"It does sorta fit for mid-1942, though they were first used in North Africa."
Captain Roberts stood there. "Why, it would take a miracle to get me out of here!"
Just then, the Mustang roared in from overhead, more explosive charges firing on the beach to simulate machine gun fire. The plane then pulled away, the shoot complete, and the actors playing the Germans began to retreat.
Hitch looked over when he heard the rumbling of treads. "Oh dear..." he said, as a tank rumbled into view.
"Time to turn Krauts to Swiss!" shouted a soldier from the tank.
Hitch had enough. He stood up and waved his hands. "Excuse me? What is that doing there?"
Mr Zoom looked over. "It's a WW2 tank. The audience won't care!"
"Yeah, it is WW2- but the wrong era and the wrong front. That's an IS-3, which entered production in 1944 and was used on the Eastern Front."
"Not everybody watching the movie will be a tank nerd, Hitch."
"But we do have a responsibility to do it properly," Sunny said. "The moviemakers of the 1960s didn't have all the stuff we have access to. I mean, Bovington Tank Museum is only that way, so you could have leased a period accurate Sherman for the shoot!"
Mr Zoom looked annoyed. "Start shooting, and ignore anything they say."
Sure enough, the shoot continued, and the movie was soon finished and released. Sunny and her friends did go to see it, but mainly to spot their cameos (for which they had been paid).
The result was painful. From the terrible dialogue to the ropey special effects, the resulting film was a bit of a mess- not to mention all the changes to the plot had rendered the story incomprehensible.
It was a fun night out, albeit for all the wrong reasons, and as they went home from the cinema afterwards, Hitch turned to Sunny. "Well, what do you think?"
Sunny shrugged. "That makes me glad that Hollywood doesn't have access to time machines."
Author's Note
This story combines elements from the Equestria Girls special Movie Magic and the Tell your Tale short Snow Business like Show Business .
Anachronisms in movies are something that cause me particular irritation, especially when they're easily fixed; I'm a little more lenient on train sequences as most movie crews are limited to what a heritage railway has on offer (hence why The Woman in Black has Southern Railway locomotives in what is supposed to be Cambridgeshire). This chapter has references to common bloopers in WW2 movies, as well as Hollywood's tendancy to insert Americans where they don't belong (two notorious examples being U-571 and Fury ).
Thomas and Friends: Tales from the Mainland Volume 4
An Engine of Many Colours
One morning, Rebecca was in the workshop. Her paintwork was currently being removed using a variety of tools, working back to the original bare metal.
"I hope this won't take too long!" she said. "Being without paint is a bit weird for an engine!"
Salty looked over. "Aye," he said. "But getting a new coat of paint is probably like getting new clothes for a human. I had sat in that green for years, I had, so this new red coat is quite the reminder of how things have improved."
"True that," Rebecca replied. "I'd spent so long in pieces that they hadn't had a chance to properly repaint my parts. I've been in this shade of green since the 1990s, you know!"
"And the Light Pacifics did carry quite a few different colours during their working lives," Salty said. "Sunny told me so. Now then, how about we discuss it with our drivers over there?"
Just then, Izzy brought a forklift to a stop. The pallet mounted to the top was covered in paint cans. Having secured the vehicle in position, she jumped out and lowered the forks to the ground. "This is all the paint I found!" she said. "There's a surprising amount of it."
"Why do we have so little blue?" Hitch asked. "Charles reminds us ad nauseam that blue is the only proper colour for an engine."
"Well," Zipp said, "we did use an awful lot of blue and yellow, not to mention red and black, when the workmen mixed Charles and Sophie up and painted them in each other's colours."
"That was a confusing day!" Izzy said. "But then again, we seem to have a lot of confusing days around here."
Hitch studied the paint cans closely. "OK then," he said. "We have malachite green, black, brunswick green, sunshine yellow, monastral blue, and some other shades that work as lining. But not enough of each individual colour to fully repaint Rebecca. Hmm... this is annoying."
Rebecca had overheard the conversation, and perked up. "Well, a different shade could help me a bit," she said, "but it may confuse the passengers. Enough people think I'm a diesel- they'd confuse me for Charles if I was painted blue?"
"Apart from being a completely different shape and having a different wheel arrangement and making different noises?" Izzy asked.
"You'd be amazed at how easily the general public mix up locomotive types," Hitch said. "Once I saw somebody swear up and down a Black Five was Gordon. No, that's Henry you dummy."
"Hitch! That's offensive to dummies!" Izzy said.
"Well, it could be worse," Hitch said. "What if the paint has other effects?"
"Like me flying?" Rebecca asked.
"Don't be daft," Hitch said. "That sort of thing only happens in cartoons. And besides, James should have been brought to a stop by AWS at the previous red signal. The people who wrote that stuff had no idea how railways actually work."
"I've got an idea!" Izzy said.
"Is it a good one?" Rebecca asked.
"If we don't have enough paint for one livery, why don't we paint Rebecca in every single livery the Spam Cans have carried... at once?"
Pipp strolled along the line of dancers and performers with a smile. "Those new costumes from Rarity have worked a treat!" she said. "Speaking in my official capacity as an official person, I just want to say you all look splendid!"
"Thank you!" said Rocky. "I do have a sideline in dance, so this suits me pretty well."
Pipp sighed. "Now where is Misty?"
Just then, the door opened, and Misty walked in. "Sorry I'm late Pipp, I was chatting with mom and..." Misty trailed off as she saw how everybody was dressed. "Uhh, aren't we a little overdressed for a trip into town?"
Pipp looked in surprise. "Misty, have you forgotten what day it is?"
"Saturday?" Misty replied.
"Today's the day we're shooting a music video for my YouTube Channel!" Pipp replied. "I thought you wanted to participate!"
"I didn't think I'd need to dress up!" Misty said. "I thought I was working backstage. You know I freeze up in front of a camera, and to be honest I look ridiculous dressed like an 80s popstar."
Pipp nodded. "That's OK, Misty. Sound equipment is over there- I thought you'd be ideal for mixing the audio given your mixes make my stuff sound fab!"
Jazz leaned over to Rocky. "Why is Pipp talking like somebody from the 1960s?"
"I have no idea," Rocky replied. "Next we'll be dressing up as Thunderbirds characters."
Pipp glanced back. "You've given me an idea for another music video!"
Misty took her seat behind the mixing desk as Pipp continued. "But you have no idea how exciting an opportunity this is. Coldplay giving me the opportunity to cover Higher Power is such a thrill, and the space age imagery gives us so many chances to use exciting special effects! We're just waiting on the prop crown I ordered!"
There was another knock at the door, and Thunder entered with a big box. "I have no idea what you've got in here," he said. "It's a heavy box and I had to drag it every flipping foot!"
"All in the line of duty, Thunder," Zoom reminded him, who had appeared behind him.
"Of course, boss."
"Thanks, Thunder!" Pipp said, who opened the box with a boxcutter and looked inside. "Yes! The prop crown I ordered! This looks so stunning!"
Pipp pulled it out of the box and popped it on- and nearly collapsed under the weight. "Uh, Houston, we have a problem!"
Work on repainting Rebecca was going well. The undercoat was on, and the outer coats were being applied. Hitch looked carefully at his slide rule and ran the lines along. "The yellow lines must be horizontally perfect," he said to himself.
Meanwhile, Izzy had a somewhat more freestyle approach! "This blue shall be bluer than the blue bricks of Buckfastleigh!" she said.
"Have you seen the blue bricks of Buckfastleigh?" Zipp asked.
"No."
"So Rebecca will be bluer than something you have never seen?"
"Yep!" Izzy switched to orange lining paint.
Zipp sighed. "Izzy, you are one of the eternal mysteries of the universe."
"So, it's too heavy for you to stand up," Misty said. Her eyes then lit up. "I know! When a train is too heavy, you just drop some of the weight and come back for it. So if we lighten the prop crown, you should have an easier time dancing!"
"How are you going to do that?" Pipp asked.
"Easy. Dad's been teaching me welding, so reducing the weight should be easy!"
And so, Misty got to work in her workshop. She started by removing the excessively heavy parts on the crown, then melted them down. Once they were melted down, she recast them in an alloy with a lighter metal which allowed them to look just as good, albeit with a considerable weight saving.
Pipp tried it on, and grinned at the result. "Great work, Misty! Now we can get this party started!"
She took her position on the stage, and Misty took her seat behind the desk. "Ready when you are!"
Pipp nodded. "Three, two, one!"
"That looks... awful," Hitch said.
And he was right. The blue, greens, and yellow and orange all clashed horribly with one another. Not helped was the somehat haphazard application of paint in some areas, which made it look rather like a small child had been painting.
"Hey, at least we didn't try painting Rebecca silver," Izzy said. "That would have been very difficult to keep clean. Not to mention she'd start defying the laws of physics."
"Izzy, please try and be serious," Zipp said. "Rebecca cannot go into traffic looking like this! She looks like a Jackson Pollock painting on wheels!"
Hitch sighed. "Let's scrape it all off and start again. I'll put in an order for some malachite green."
"Malachite green?" Rebecca asked. "I'd quite like that."
"Yep," Hitch said. "Loads of other spam cans are in Brunswick green, after all. Let's get to work!"
You've got a higher power/
"When for so long/
The music faded out as the filming came to an end. "That's a wrap, guys!" Pipp said, and took the crown off. "Thanks for the help, Misty!"
"No problem!" Misty smiled. "Always glad to help out a friend- or should I say, a sister."
Pipp simply beamed.
A few days later, Rebecca re-entered traffic, painted once more in magnificant Malachite green with sunshine lettering. Everybody agreed she looked splendid. And after the most recent paint incident, Rebecca knew there was no colour she would rather be.
Author's Note
This chapter combines the rough plotlines of the Thomas and Friends episode of the same name with the Tell your Tale episode Heavy is the Mane that Wears the Fruit Crown (an absurdly long title if you ask me).
Each of the liveries mentioned in the story are all real ones the Bulleid Light Pacifics carried during their working lives. Below are images depicting these liveries:
The commentary on mixing up engines is based on the moment from the original episode where a passenger mixes up James and Edward... somehow.
Higher Power is a song from the Coldplay album Music of the Spheres , released in 2021. Its bouncy, upbeat energy makes it an ideal fit for Pipp in my opinion.
Thomas and Friends: Tales from the Mainland Volume 4
Pipp tapped her microphone and checked the display in front of her. "Is this working?"
"Microphone is good," said Hitch. "We're good to go. We'll be live shortly."
"Excellent," Pipp smiled. "Boy do we have an exciting story for them today?"
Hitch glanced up. "Pipp, why are you dressed like you escaped from a Speakeasy?"
"I'm getting into character for today's podcast!"
"I see," Hitch replied. "And we're live in three, two, one..."
Above them, the ON AIR light switched on and glowed green. Whether they liked it or not, the broadcast was now underway. It was time to start the story.
"Good morning, everybody," Hitch said. "Welcome to the Cornwall Noir podcast, where we discuss the strange, the bizarre, and often the criminal. Today, we have a most bizarre case to present to you- a tale of intrigue, of mystery, and of inexplicable circumstances and unusual motives. But to tell this story we have a special guest. Ladies and gentlemen, all the way from the Green Door Tavern, may I welcome our special guest- Pipp Petals!"
Pipp spoke up. "Good morning, Pippsqueaks! No doubt you're excited to hear my story. I know that I may look like a popstar who has a streaming life and operation, but I do have a sleuthing side. After all, I do tend to work in strange things, and the lives of both myself and my friends appear to have become weirdness magnets.
"So, it is an honour to present to you my story for tonight. A tail of drama, of action, and interest. A while ago, this most unusual story roamed across my desk, and although it was from long before I came to live in Cornwall it came to change everything I thought I knew about the county. So join me as I recount... the tale of the missing cupcake!"
"Morning, Sunny!" Zipp said, as she slid past Sunny's stand.
"Morning, Zipp!" Sunny replied, hard at work with her smoothie project. "Fancy a smoothie? I can whip your usual up in nothing flat!"
"That'd be greatly appreciated," Zipp said. "Charles and I have got some lumber to deliver to Truro and I could do with refuelling."
Sunny nodded and set her machine to work, sliding the drink over to Zipp. "Here you go! Have a pleasant trip!"
Zipp picked it up and took a sip. "Tastes as good as ever, Sunny. Great work!" She headed off back to the shed, ready to get Charles out on the line.
"I first heard the news of Pansy Silverwell when I was on my way home from Mane Melody. The night was a dark one, and I had a torch on me. I wrapped my coat round my shoulders and continued on my way until I got home.
"But before I could return home, I was spoken to by a person standing on the street. 'You're Pipp, right?' he said.
'Sure am!' I replied. 'How can I help?'
'I need help looking for somebody,' he said. 'She's an old friend of mine, and she never turned up at the bakeoff she was heading to.'
'Do you have any leads?' I asked, curious.
'I do indeed,' he said, handing me a file. 'Contained in this folder is the identity of the two people she spoke to on the way. They may be able to unravel what happened here.'
Naturally, I wanted to help, so I accepted the challenge. I made my way home and set the evidence down on my desk, looking closely.
And the people who were named surprised me. Two people, one of whom I knew extremely well, were involved. One of them I even worked with regularly. So, when I was next at work, I decided myself and Jazz were going to have a little talk. In voiceover."
The signal ahead was red, so Zipp brought Charles to a stop in the platform at Perranwell. "Looks like we'll be waiting here for a bit," she said, sighing.
"We were going so splendidly, too!" Charles said. "Why does the modern railway have no concept of priority?"
"They do," Zipp said. "We're a goods train, and that's a passenger we're waiting for." She stepped out of the cab to check if there were any work orders for her, but as she walked across the platform she suddenly slipped and landed flat on her back.
"You OK, miss?" shouted a passenger.
"I'm fine!" Zipp replied, as she slowly wobbled to her feet. As she looked down, she saw a patch of ice on the platform. "So, I slipped on some ice. But it's well above zero degrees celcius, so why is there ice here?"
"Why are you specifying celcius?" Charles asked.
"Just in case the person reading this primarily works in fahrenheit," Zipp replied.
"Oh, so you mean backwards people from across the pond," Charles said.
"Remember that Americans do live in this part of the world," Zipp reminded him. "Sunny's mom is one of them." She walked further, and noticed a rather curious trail of ice leading away from the station and into a nearby forest. "Hmm. A trail of ice still here well above the melting point of ice. We have a mystery on our hands."
"Is there a mystery on our hands?" said a voice.
Zipp looked back. "Oops. Left my microphone on."
"I started digging, and discovered all sorts of interesting things. Pansy was well loved by the Falmouth community, and had started a baking club to connect with people of all ages- as she was retired she had plenty of time to devote to it. Apparently people were falling over one another to learn from her.
Turns out Jazz had been a member since a young age, and told me all about it during that little talk I mentioned. Sure enough, this only hardened my resolve to find out what happened.
Jazz was happy to tell her side of the story. She stated she had last seen her when on her way to the bakeoff, and had helped her load her wagon. That was it.
However, that left Dahlia, the other person I mentioned. Time to go talk to them."
"So, it's not everyday you find trails of ice in the middle of nowhere," Sunny said. She had popped up to help Zipp with her investigation.
"Definitely," Zipp sighed, as she walked into the woods. "The ice trail is spreading."
Entire trees were covered in ice and snow, even the leaves. One had fallen to the floor, and Sunny picked it up- before dropping it due to the cold shock of the ice. "Ouch! That is really cold!"
Just then, Zipp heard a strange noise, and ducked back. "Sunny! Behind this bush!"
As they watched, they suddenly became aware of rails in the forest, which connected to an old mine. Just then, a large green engine rolled past, observing the ice with a smile. "Perfect," he said. "Seems the ice plan is working well."
"What is that thing?" Sunny asked. "I've never seen an engine like that before!"
Zipp popped up and snapped a photo, before dropping back down. "Keep quiet until he goes."
"Dahlia didn't turn up much of a lead. Turns out alongside her flower business she runs a small sideline in pastries. I enquired about Pansy, and it turned out she and Pansy didn't really get along. She'd long been jealous of her baking ability, and had apparently said something rather heated to her- she asked me to say she was sorry and that she wants to make amends.
But it turns out Dahlia had left out a rather juicy detail. Pansy had registered to attend, but never showed up, meaning Dahlia won by default. Once she had won, she used the grand prize to get her own shop up and running. But imagine my surprise when somebody offered to meet with me. It was the usual means- message under a mat with an address and a codephrase. I took the bait, naturally, keen to solve this mystery once and for all.
And who should it be but Pansy herself. Over some confectionary she had baked herself, she told me what had happened. Truth be told she had always been planning on finding a new start, and had moved to Truro to open a soup restaurant. She had never enjoyed being the centre of attention, and simply enjoyed providing for others."
"And so, dear listeners," Pipp finished, "in any investigation there are numerous sides to every story. Some wish to be found, whilst others would prefer to remain silent. Pansy wanted to bring some good into the world, and she did just that through her work. Good exists everywhere- it's just a case of knowing where to look."
Zipp looked concerned at Sunny. "Is this what we're up against?" she said. "An evil steam engine? How did he get here? And what if he's in league with Allura?"
"We'll need to investigate," Sunny said. "But like Opaline, we'll face them together, like we always have.
Author's Note
This chapter is a loose adaptation of the Twelth G5 comic (with Pipp taking Hitch's place), combined with the plot of the Tell your Tale episode Icy Prints . The title is an allusion to the Film Noir genre, a type of crime/detective film characterised by low-key, expressive black and white cinematography and a more cynical outlook on the world.
This story was an unusual narrative experiment for me, and I decided to try my hand at writing in the style of classic crime novels told from the perspective of the Private Eye hired to solve them. I do also plan to write a Sherlock Holmes homage at some point, so let me know if that would interest you.
Pipp is, of course, wearing this:
Given that the crime and noir genres enjoyed a boom around the time of the Roaring Twenties, it seemed like an obvious fit (and doing an investigation in period costume seems very in-character for Pipp).
And now our heroes know of Alfred (if not his name). Where could this be going?
Thomas and Friends: Tales from the Mainland Volume 4
It was a peaceful afternoon in Falmouth, and Misty and Faven were out on the seafront. Faven had the day off work, so she was taking the opportunity to spend time with her daughter. Given that Misty had been taken from her so long ago, Faven felt she had a lot of catching up to do when it came to her relationship with Misty.
"Had a good day so far?" Faven asked, as they looked in the direction of the amusement park. There were all sorts of things under construction both on the land and on the pier, including what looked like a very scary roller coaster. Misty didn't like roller coasters at all.
"Yeah," Misty replied. "Mom, this is gonna sound weird, but I've never truly figured out something- my age. Opaline never said anything about the topic, and given, well, you're my mom I was wondering if you could shed any light on the matter."
Faven nodded. "I noticed people assume you're a teenager based on your build." She sighed. "Misty, I'm not quite sure how to tell you this... but you're nearly twenty."
Misty's jaw dropped in surprise. She looked down into the water at her reflection. "What? How?"
Faven walked over and put a hand on her shoulder. "I had you when I was in my thirties. Alphie and I had been married a few years, but we'd always wanted children. Sadly things didn't go to plan- I lost the first pregnancy."
Misty looked in confusion. "Sorry, but I'm not quite sure what you mean."
"I miscarried."
Misty looked upset. "Sorry for your loss, mom."
"It's OK. You weren't to know. Understandably, it made me a bit reluctant to try again, but when I did get pregnant again I was a bit worried it would happen again. Thankfully, I carried to term and you were born." Faven looked down. "That's why you going missing affected me so badly. The universe had finally allowed me to become something I'd always wanted to be- a mother- and now that was snatched away from me. I don't think I could bear to lose you again, Misty, which is why I want to make the most of the here and now."
Suddenly, the pair's attention was drawn by noise from the yard. An engine was pulling some parts for what looked like an amusement park ride into the sidings. The engine looked very strange. He was long and boxy, and although he was emmitting steam from a chimney he looked like a clockwork toy. He also had no running board, which gave him a very odd appearance.
"Easy does it!" called a voice from the footplate, as they rolled to a stop. "Just like at the Bluebell, eh Neville?"
"I guess," the engine replied, as a young woman hopped down to uncouple him. The young woman had mixed purple and white skin, making it look like somebody had emptied several cans of paint on her. She had purple, turquoise, and pink hair styled not too differently to Misty, and like most engine drivers was clad in a boilersuit.
"Perhaps best to make this a quick turnaround," Neville said. "The sooner I'm back on home turf the better."
Misty looked at Faven. "He doesn't seem too friendly."
"Misty, don't judge a book by its cover," Faven said firmly. "There could be any number of reasons he's keen to head home."
Misty nodded. "Yes mom."
Just then, they heard an unfamiliar voice.
"Oh, I bid farewell to the port and the land/
Before the female voice they had heard joined in.
"As the souls of the dead fill the space of my mind!
Later on, Misty was getting Bellerophon prepared to do some shunting when Charles backed into the shed. "What utter rudeness!" he said. "Fancy him ignoring me like that!"
"Charles, nobody is under orders to speak to you," Zipp said.
"Well, they should be! I am an very important engine!"
Bellerophon looked over. "What's going on?"
Charles huffed. "That new engine, the one that looks like he's made of LEGO bricks. I said hello to him as I passed earlier, and he didn't reply! I know the Q1s could be a solitary bunch, but to ignore another engine's greetings is just plain rude!"
"Maybe he didn't hear you?" Misty suggested.
"Perhaps with all the racket he was making," Charles grumbled. "Oh well. Off to the next job."
As Bellerophon left the yard, Sophie backed in to take on fuel. "Hello everybody! Have any of you met the new engine?"
"Don't bother," Charles said. "He's rude. I heard he said something about being back on home turf, the better. Clearly he thinks he's better than us."
Sophie was surprised. "That's an odd attitude for a preserved engine to have. He may just be homesick!"
"Possibly, but then again he's not hugely friendly."
Charles hammered away from the depot and went to collect his train, whilst Rebecca arrived with passengers. "Don't talk to that new engine!" he said. "He's rude and thinks we're below him!"
Rebecca hadn't talked to Neville yet. "OK then," she said. "Charles, I know you're puffed up in the radiator, but isn't there a possibility you may have gotten this wrong?"
"Wrong? Me? Never!"
Later on, Bellerophon was shunting the sidings at Perranwell when Neville rolled in with a freight train. He had to stop before the red signal, and so he did.
"Hello!" Bellerophon called. "I don't believe we've met!"
Just then, Salty rumbled by with a goods train from Newham Docks. "An Ugly Duckling out here!" he said. "Quite a varied bunch, we are!"
Neville sighed. "There really is no point, is there?"
"No point in what?" Bellerophon asked.
"I'll never fit in," Neville said. "No matter where I go or what I do people and engines mistreat me. I can't help being a wartime economy design."
Misty secured Bellerophon in place and walked over. "It sounds as though you're hurting."
"What could possibly give you that impression?" Neville said, sarcastically.
Misty didn't pick up on the sarcasm. "You struggle to make friends, and the distrust others feel towards you means they don't always see who you truly are."
"If they knew what I've been through they wouldn't act the way they do."
Misty looked at Neville in surprise. "What do you mean?"
Neville looked pained. "It was a long time ago, far away. But I remember what they did... what type of people they were... why they all deserved to die."
Radstock, April 1942
The air raid sirens blared overhead, the familiar rising and falling tone striking fear into anybody who heard them. They all knew what this meant.
The Germans were here, and another bombing raid was imminent.
"Neville, you're needed immediately!" shouted a member of railway staff. "Bath urgently needs more anti aircraft guns to ward off the Luftwaffe, and you're the only engine strong enough to move them!"
"On my way!" Neville said, and he moved off from the shed towards the sidings. A rake of rail mounted anti aircraft guns, leftovers from the previous war, sat in the sidings. They were old and not hugely accurate, but every bit of flak fire could count- after all, Neville had heard a Home Guard member had shot a Stuka down with a revolver once.
He was hooked up, and they got on their way towards Bath. The run was difficult, not least as the enemy were aware of the railway line and the fact war equipment was being moved via it. Neville knew one of the engines that had been working an ammunition train which a fighter had strafed, and had had a narrow escape as a result.
He hammered through Midford and started the climb towards the tunnel, working hard to keep the train moving. Bath was depending on him. The more bombers got shot down, the fewer bombs fell on Bath, and the more people survived.
Once through the tunnel, he rolled down the gradient and into Bath yard. But the sight that awaited him was horrifying.
On the left hand side of the line sat the engine sheds of Bath Green Park. Or rather, where they had been. Buildings had been flattened and torn apart, the materials used to build them scattered about like toys. There were fires burning everywhere, and firemen were working hard to put out the blaze.
Neville advanced deeper into the smoke, and saw something which he knew would haunt him for the rest of his life.
The remains of dead locomotives lay everywhere. Many had parts scattered across the landscape, and others had been blown apart. One engine had taken a direct hit from a bomb, his boiler blown apart into fragments. Another engine, still alive, was pinned down under collapsed girders, begging for help.
The scene was horrifying enough, but accompanying it all were the screams of the dying and injured. Neville knew he would never be able to forget that horrible sound.
He backed out of the conflagration to find help. "We need help here!" He looked up at the sky and saw German aircraft flying overhead, still dropping bombs on the city.
He gritted his teeth together. "You killed my brothers and sisters. You all deserve to die."
Just then, another engine rattled in with extra help. A 2-8-0 rolled to a stop next to him and looked on in horror at the scene before him, the burning ruins of the shed he had once called home.
He looked at Neville. "What happened?"
"The Germans bombed the shed," Neville replied. "They're all dead, Radstock. The bastards killed every last one of them."
Radstock went white with shock. "Fowler preserve us," he said. "What are we going to do?"
Neville looked at him, his previous despair replaced by a barely contained rage. "We're going to make them pay, Radstock. We're going to make them pay. And tomorrow can't come soon enough."
Neville had a tear in his eye as he finished. "And that is why I still hate them. After all they did, how can they expect us to forgive and forget?"
Misty had sat there, listening, the whole time. And then she spoke. "Holding onto all this pain isn't healthy, Neville. I know what you went through was traumatic, but I do understand you."
"How can a human possibly know what it's like?" Neville asked.
"Because I've suffered through similar myself."
Neville looked incredulous. "Have you been through the horrors of war? Have you seen your shed bombed and your friends reduced to nothing? Have you sat in a scrapyard, unable to escape, hearing the screams of your fellow engines as greedy men ripped them apart for copper and steel? You might want to look in your drawers and ask yourself where the steel that made your cutlery came from."
Misty looked back. "I've never been in a scrapyard, but I have stared death in the face more than once. I was abused by a woman who dared to call herself my saviour. I endured verbal abuse, beatings, was sent off on dangerous missions, and was thrown from a train and left to die. I could continue to wallow in all that, and to a degree I can't escape from it. Like it or not, it happened.
"But during that time, I found Sunny and her friends. They opened their hearts to me, and accepted me as one of them with no conditions. The Havens took me in and have cared for me, helped me get back on my feet. Lady Haven even says she regards me as one of her own. By opening my heart to others, I received happiness I hadn't known in a very long time."
There was a pause before Misty continued. "It's only a passing thing, this pain. We can't let it control us. A wise woman once said that history, despite its wrenching pain, cannot be unlived, but if faced with courage need not be lived again. Being with them caused me to realise something profound."
"What was that?" Neville asked.
"That there is some good in this world. And it's worth fighting for the dream of a better tomorrow. I intend to leave this world a better place than it was when I found it. I'm certain engines would be willing to be your friend if you extended the olive leaf to them."
Neville was silent for a moment. "Then I'll try. It may not work out, but they can't say I didn't try."
Misty nodded, and then to Neville's surprise started to sing.
"Now that I'm staring down at the darkest abyss...
Neville, knowing where this was going, joined in. As did his driver.
"As the souls of the dead live for'er in my mind/
Before Neville finished on his own.
"I remember the fallen and they think of me!
Neville's driver stepped over. "I don't believe I got your name," she said.
"Misty," Misty replied.
"I'm Violette," the girl replied. "Nice to meet you. Maybe we could be friends?"
"The more, the merrier."
Author's Note
This chapter combines the basic plotlines of Thomas and the New Engine , an episode of the ninth series of Thomas and Friends , and Swirlpool Starlight , an episode of the second season of Tell your Tale . As the latter episode is dealing specifically with the theme of historical trauma, it in my opinion blends well with a story about not judging somebody by initial impressions. The title is taken from a sea shanty about a sailor suffering from survivor's guilt. The song is also featured in this chapter.
Faven's family history is drawn from my own-my mother nearly lost the pregnancy which resulted in my brother. Tragically, miscarriages occur in up to 20% of pregnancies, with the risk increasing depending on the age of the mother. MLP G5 had a distinctly tragic atmosphere with the sheer number of missing parents and broken families (even extending to the villains such as Allura).
Neville is a Southern Railway Q1 0-6-0, a design built in 1942. A total of 40 were produced, and their unusual design is owing to wartime restrictions; extraneous features such as running boards were emmitted, and the frames were built with all equipment on the outside to allow easy access for repairs. The result was the subject of ridicule from the railway establishment; William Stanier, the Chief Mechanical Engineer of the LMS, reportedly remarked 'where's the key' when he saw one for the first time. However, the design was incredibly powerful, producing 30,080 pounds of tractive effort, making it amongst the most powerful British 0-6-0s ever built. One, 33001, survives in preservation, and as such Neville carries this running number.
Neville's flashback takes place during one of the Baedeker Raids. In April and May 1942 the Luftwaffe initiated a bombing campaign on targets known for cultural and historical value in an effort to destroy British morale. The name comes from the fact that the Baedeker Books, a series of tourist guides aimed at Germans visiting the UK, were used to select targets owing to the books containing detailed city maps. Bath was bombed three times between 25th and 27th April 1942, resulting in many historic buildings being flattened or severely damaged.
The scene Neville comes across is based on the aftermath of the Baedeker Raid on York, which occurred the day after the Bath raid ended. York North shed was completely destroyed in the bombing, along with several locomotives. Today this is the site of the National Railway Museum, and a small memorial to the incident can be found in the Great Hall.
Misty's concluding speech is based on my visit to the Greenwood Museum in Tulsa, Oklahoma, which serves as a memorial to the victims of the Greenwood Massacre (a night of ethnic violence directed against Tulsa's Black community). In summary, although memories of the past can be painful, acknowledging them and making amends is the only way we can truly heal and move forward.
Violette Rainbow is a character originally from the G5 comics, who is a fan of Izzy Moonbow and suffered bullying owing to her unusual appearance. She also made a selection of appearances in Tell your Tale, and the fact she got a speaking role in Swirlpool Starlight implies she was going to have a prominent role going forward had TYT not been cancelled. Her inclusion here is partly at the request of Thomlight Sparkle 1.
Thomas and Friends: Tales from the Mainland Volume 4
There was yet another thud as Sunny lost her balance and hit the floor before pushing herself up. "I give up!" she said, trying to wobble over to a bench. "I'll never get the hang of this!"
Argyle walked over and helped her to the bench. "Sunny," he said gently. "Everything is hard at first. But giving up just because something is hard means you won't know what you'll be missing out on."
"Kinda hard to see the appeal when I'm just falling over all the time," Sunny said.
"Confucius once said that our greatest glory is not in falling, but in rising every time we fall," Argyle replied. "To use another example- do you remember how frustrated you were when you were first learning to read? How you felt these funny lines and squiggles on the page would never mean anything?"
Sunny thought for a moment. "I guess."
"And now you go through books at an incredible rate, don't you?"
Sunny was silent for a moment. "So I might get better?"
Argyle smiled. "I know you'll get better. Why not give it another try? I'll get my skates and gear on and join you."
Sure enough, Sunny pulled herself up, and pushed herself away from the bench before trying to get rolling. She gingerly moved one leg back to start herself off, and found she was starting to roll down the small hill in the park.
She crouched to get up some speed, then tilted her body to turn and found it was working. Not only that, it was quite fun!
She brought herself to a stop at the gate and spun herself round on a dime before trying to skate back up the hill. A few times it seemed as though she would fall over from the forces involved, but sure enough she pulled to a stop at the bench, red in the face.
Argyle, however, smiled and pulled her into a hug. "Well done, Sunny," he said happily. "Remember to never give up on your dreams- just think you can, and you can do most anything if you only think you can."
"Number four, you're up!"
Sunny crouched in position at the outer edge of the rink, and kicked back her foot to start herself off. She launched out of the pen and onto the Truro Roller Rink at speed. The four ahead of her were doing good speed, but Sunny was catching up.
"Not so fast!" said one.
Sunny looked forward. "Is that your motto now?" she smirked, then went for the overtake.
Unfortunately, she didn't time it that well, and got one set of wheels stuck in something. Both she and the person next to her stumbled and fell onto the floor.
"Thanks a lot, clumsy!" snapped the other skater as he pushed himself up and got underway.
Sunny pushed herself up and got back underway to complete the course.
Up above, a group of figures were glancing down at them. "My votes are on one, two, and three," he said. "Possibly four if we do a comedy routine."
"She wasn't bad!" said another. "Clearly just some nerves that need working through."
"And what if she gets nerves and causes us to lose the cup?" said another. "We're on course to make history as the only team to win the Thunder Derby four times in a row. I am not prepared to compromise that."
"I can't help but think you're being too harsh," said the second. "Were you always perfect on your skates?"
"Of course I was," said the third. "I was basically born on these things."
"Your mother was roller skating when she had you?"
"Not what I meant."
"Flank's right, though," said the first. "We cannot afford to compromise our winning streaks. Remember the fate of the Hunslet Hammerheads after their captain retired?"
The fourth figure then spoke up. "My mind is made up," she said. "One, Two, and Three, you're in. Four, I'm sorry but you don't cut the mustard. Better luck next year."
Sunny put her gear into her bag and walked out of the rink, looking glum. Argyle and Pipp were waiting to greet her. "So, how'd it go?" Argyle asked.
Sunny sighed. "I didn't get in. I had no clue the Falmouth Falcons were so picky."
Argyle pulled her into a hug. "You tried your best, and that's all anybody can ever ask of you," he said.
"But what if my best isn't good enough?" Sunny asked quietly.
"How about we go and talk it over with a milkshake?" Pipp offered. "There's the ice cream parlour you like just down the road, right?"
Pipp looked astonished. "So, you're telling me that Captain Buck expects the players to already know all the moves?" she asked. "How is that supposed to work when introducing a new routine?"
"I know, right?" Sunny said, taking a slurp of a strawberry and banana milkshake. "If I'd been in their position I'd have diagrams and demonstration videos available to watch. Sometimes explaining stuff in words is way harder then just using pictures."
"I've used that technique in my lectures, actually," Argyle said. "Some people are visual learners."
"And what was her thing with using numbers rather than names?" Sunny continued. "You should always make an effort to learn names. I mean, how hard is it?"
She stopped, and sighed. "Sorry if I'm ranting. But it's so frustrating sometimes. I just see how people like that behave and find myself wondering how I'd do it if I were a team captain."
"What do you mean, 'were a team captain'?" Pipp asked, cryptically.
"Pipp, that doesn't make much-" Sunny suddenly trailed off mid-sentence as she had an idea. "I've got it!"
"Got what?" Pipp asked.
"If they won't let me into their roller derby team... I'll just found my own!"
"Just our luck!" the foreman said, as he paced up and down. "All this stuff on the dockside, and no way to move it!"
Goldie was taking a lunch break from her work, and overheard the conversation. "What appears to be the problem?" she asked.
"It's the new amusement park they're building over on the beachfront," the foreman said. "They've been constantly bringing cargo in and out for the construction work with all the new rides and replacement timbers and whatnot. But we're struggling to get the items in and out of boats as quickly as we'd like. And now the crane breaks down on all the days of the year!"
Goldie then had a brainwave. "I think I can help," she said.
"Do you have a crane?" the foreman asked.
"Yes, actually," Goldie said. "Harvey the crane tank can help to load things onto trucks, whilst Rocky can lift them out of the ship and put them on the dockside."
"I don't think I'm that good at lifting stuff," Rocky said as he walked past.
"Not you, Rocky, the other Rocky," Goldie said. "Why do so many people we encounter have the same names as other people? Pipp, Zipp, Izzy, now Rocky... this is getting absurd."
"If you could dig them out soonish that'd be great," the foreman said.
"Sure thing," Goldie said. "It's a bit of a slow workday anyway."
"Here you go, Sunny!" Izzy said, handing the design over. "I know it's a tad light, but I was out of white paper and pink was all I had!"
"Not a problem, Izzy," Sunny said. "Now then, let's get these posted around town!" She primed her skates as music started up. "Good morning sun, no time to chat I gotta run..."
Salty looked over in confusion as she vanished into the distance. "But it's the afternoon!"
Sunny was happily putting posters up most of the afternoon, dancing from tree to lamp post. She even posted one or two on rubbish bins, much to people's confusion.
"You do know they move those, right?" MacTavish said, as he rolled past on the tramway line.
"If people see them once, that's all that matters!" Sunny said.
Unfortunately, she didn't know that members of the Falmouth Falcons were following her. As she left an area, they took the posters down and binned them.
Tina, one of the two engaging in this act, looked at her fellow. "Can't have that silly Starshine getting too big for her boots, can we?" she snickered.
"We sure can't!" chortled Flank, her fellow. "Let's make her look really silly, Tina!"
Sunny skated on her way back home when she suddenly spotted something pink sticking out of a nearby bin. She reached in to pull it out.
"How did this get in there?" she asked, then noticed the bin was absolutely stuffed to the brim with all the posters Izzy had made.
Sunny's face darkened. "No doubt the Falmouth Falcons are behind this." She skated back home at incredible speed, blasting past people without so much as a hello.
Zipp saw her approaching, and flagged her down. "Hey, Sunny, how a-"
"What do you want?" Sunny snapped.
"Whoa, no need to be rude. What's got you so worked up?"
"The Falmouth Falcons have been binning all the posters Izzy worked so hard to make. It seems that no matter what I do somebody is always two steps ahead to ruin the fun." She sat down at a bench. "We need some professional help."
Then Argyle appeared. "How'd the poster campaign go?"
"Somebody, and I think you know who, is tearing the posters down and binning them faster than I can replace them," Sunny said. "Perhaps if I could get some professional help." Just then her face brightened up. "Dad, you used to do roller derby for a sport, right?"
"That I did, why?"
"Remember when we met Tracy at the Truro Roller Rink?"
Argyle looked amazed. "You do have a good memory. That was years ago!"
"Do you still have her phone number?"
Rocky was now hard at work, the pistons driving his crane arm producing quite the racket. "Good thing I've got stabilising jacks!" he said. "Wouldn't want to topple over with these! And what are half these crates anyway?"
Goldie had changed into work clothing, and closely monitored Rocky's gauges and instruments. "Mostly theme park rides," she said. "I think that's a tilt-a-whirl in there."
"What's a tilt-a-whirl?" Rocky asked.
"It's a ride built on a continous track that moves up and down," Goldie explained.
"So it's like a waltzer?"
"I guess," Goldie said. "More than 20 years here and I still sometimes use American vocabulary!"
"I guess you never really do leave your homeland behind permanently."
Another workman had been put to one side to work Harvey's crane arm, and this was very handy. "Keep the trucks still Salty!" he called. "We need to keep them steady!"
"Of course, me hearty!" Salty said. "Seein' this scene reminds me of the old days. Why, it reminds me of an old seafarin' tale."
"Oh no, here we go," Rocky said.
"There once-"
"Was a ship that put to sea?" Harvey asked.
"We've done that joke far too many times," Salty said. "Anyway, there once was a two headed sea serpent, longer than two double decker buses, he was."
"How long was the double decker bus?" Rocky asked.
"Doesn't matter," Salty said. "Anyway, one head liked to eat ships, and the other liked to eat fish. Each wanted somethin' else, and they were pullin' in opposite directions. So, they needed to communicate, and took turns to eat one then the other. And so, neither ever went short of fish and ships."
Harvey, Rocky, and Goldie groaned. "Salty, that was a dreadful pun," Goldie said, as another box was lowered onto the dockside.
"But my point stands, my fine fellows," Salty said. "Well, that's my train full, so it's off to the construction site for me. See you later!"
The next morning, Sunny, Argyle, and Pipp took a train to St. Austell, on the Cornish Mainline. Upon arrival at the station, they stepped out of the station and looked around. "Pipp, you got the directions?" Argyle said.
"Sure thing!" Pipp said. "Left here!" And off they went.
Unfortunately, things soon proved to be not quite as they seemed. They wandered down all sorts of strange backroads and through all sorts of villages- and even found themselves in a clay pit at some point.
"This doesn't look right," Sunny said. "I don't think Tracy lives at the bottom of a clay pit."
"I'm sure we'll arrive in the right place!" Pipp said. "Bestie's never let me down before!"
But then they arrived back at the station. "We are lost," Argyle said.
Sunny leaned over to Pipp's phone. "What language do you have it set to?" she asked. "That doesn't look like English to me."
Pipp looked confused, then spotted something. "Oh!" she said. "I've been holding my phone upside down and hadn't noticed."
"Don't you have autorotate enabled?" Sunny asked.
"No, as it can cause streams to go weird. I always stream from this device in portrait orientation." She looked again. "Right here!"
As they wandered along, Pipp looked over. "Argyle, you knew Tracy pretty well, right?"
"Last I'd heard she'd retired from the sport for a bit," Argyle replied. "I don't know if she's taken it up again. But we'll find out soon enough."
Eventually, they arrived at the address, and Argyle knocked on the door. "Here goes nothing," he said.
Sure enough, the door opened and his old friend stood on the other side. Her blue skin stood out from the cream doorframe, and her orange and cream hair was just as wild as it had always been. Her yellow eyes lit up in delight at seeing her old friend. "Argyle!" she said. "It's been ages! Come on in, you're always welcome here!"
Once everybody was seated and Tracy had brewed them hot drinks, they got to talking. "So, what brings you up to St. Austell?" Tracy asked. "Social call, or something else?"
Sunny sighed. "I recently tried out for the Falmouth Falcons, but didn't get in."
"Sorry to hear that," Tracy said.
"So I decided to form my own team," Sunny continued. "But I quickly realised I'm a bit in over my head. So I was wondering if I could call on your expertise to help form a team."
Tracy smiled. "How could I say no to you? Count me in. Besides, I've been wanting to tear it up on the track again anyway. Let's meet in Truro and see what you've got."
"Well, it's coming together nicely," said Izzy, looking at the amusement park. New rides were being assembled seemingly daily, and more items were being added on the dockside. "The candy shop looks nice!"
"It'll be quite the sight, that's for sure," Zipp added. Suddenly, her phone buzzed, and she checked it. "It's from Sunny. Get your skates on, it's time to roll? Truro?"
"I don't know what that means," Hitch said. "But we'd best investigate. To Truro!"
Izzy began to wander over. "Why, it's my doctor's secretary-"
"GRAB HER!"
"I was only going to say hello!"
Author's Note
This chapter combines the plotlines of the first of the Kenbucky Roller Derby comics released in 2024, and the Thomas and Friends episode New Crane on the Dock . Roller Derby was something entirely new to me, so reading the comics helped me to learn quite a bit about this curious sport largely forgotten in the UK apart from musicals such as Starlight Express.
The expression 'cut the mustard' is an English idiom that means something is of high quality. The expression derives from agricultural practices in 16th Century East Anglia, as mustard plants could grow up to six feet high and needed sharp scythes to cut properly. As a result, if one was blunt it wouldn't cut the mustard properly.
The segment with Pipp getting everybody lost is a reference to the Dad's Army episode Battle School, which has a similar joke where an officer gets a platoon lost as he misread the instructions for getting to base camp.
Thomas and Friends: Tales from the Mainland Volume 4
Sunny looked closely at her clipboard and nodded. "OK then," she said. "We've got a number of positions to fill. Two jammers, four blockers, and two pivot blockers." She then glanced down to the assembled people at the rink. "OK then, we've got eight positions to fill, so only eight of you will be joining the team."
"What role will you fill?" asked somebody else.
Sunny smiled. "That's easy. Each team needs a Captain. That's me."
"That's not fair!" said somebody else.
"Are you sure you're qualified?"
"Well, I didn't see anybody else volunteer," Sunny replied, before turning to a board. "Just to ensure everybody is up to speed, I'll explain how this works. Each round of a roller derby match is termed a Jam. On the track during a jam are five people per team- a jammer and four blockers. The jammers are placed on the back line here (Sunny indicated to the line with a stick), and the blockers are placed on the front line here (she pointed again). The objective of the jammer is to get past the blockers- for each one they lap, they get a point. The blockers on our team are supposed to help our jammer get through, whilst preventing the jammer of the other team from doing the same. Any skater who breaks the rules is placed in the penalty box, or 'sin bin' as it's called in some sports, for thirty seconds."
Sunny nodded as she finished. "So, with all that established, let's play a test game, shall we?"
Sunny hammered around the track, stunned at the chaos unfolding around her. A ball was being bounced from player to player to represent the jammer moving about the course, but the skaters were struggling to find their balance amidst the confusion, and several slammed into one another.
"Zipp, we need your help to untangle them!" Sunny called.
"On my way!" Zipp answered, as she sped forward to help. Unfortunately, one of the other skaters was holding onto the ball, and Zipp bounced off it and landed in a nearby bin.
Sunny, in the meantime, slammed straight into the other players and knocked them over, causing them all to collapse in a heap on the floor.
Whilst Pipp helped pull everybody up, Sunny skated over to a bench and sat down, looking glum.
"Is something wrong?" Pipp asked, as she walked over.
"Whatever gave you that impression?" Sunny said.
"You look really glum," Pipp said, missing Sunny's sarcasm.
Sunny sighed. "I just hoped tryouts would be better, that's all."
"Better?" Pipp said. "They were trying their best and having fun. That's what matters."
"But what if our best isn't good enough?" Sunny asked, throwing her arms up in the air. "We're up against really good teams. I guess I know how Sisyphus felt."
"Our greatest glory is not in falling, but in rising every time we fall," Argyle said, who had just arrived to pick Sunny up. "Remember when I told you that?"
"When I was first learning to skate," Sunny said.
"Just as you were about to give up on it altogether!" Argyle said. "From that point onwards you skated practically every chance you could. This is the same- I saw what happened, and whilst it wasn't perfect it's a start. When you've hit rok bottom, the only way is up."
"I thought it was Essex," Pipp said.
"That show is rubbish," Sunny said.
"I know," Pipp replied.
Sunny looked around. "Hang on a second, where did everybody go?"
Outside, a woman with creamy skin and red and green hair was talking to some of the people who had tried out. "You made the right choice joining the Falmouth Falcons," she said. "I'm Kiki Kaboom, and that's Tina Two-Bits." She pointed to a woman with blue skin and blue and green hair. "Welcome aboard."
"I always wanted to be with a proper team," said one person.
"Well, for now you're on backup duty," Tina said. "But come the Derby proper it'll be all hands on deck. Boy is that quite the story."
So Tina began. "It begins thousands of years ago, when the ancients invented the roller skate, the wheel along with it. They realised quickly this was an amazing way to get around, and wanted to put their skills to the test. The only problem was the landscape wasn't well suited for this sort of sport, with a lack of curves and straight lines.
"So, they built vast stadia for competing in, some of which you can still see today. The hippodrome, the Colosseum, and many others. Ancient figures jammed and blocked for centuries, and when the lost art was rediscovered in the 19th Century we took it right back up again."
Tina smiled. "And that's how we ended up where we are today."
"That doesn't make any sense!"
Tina looked up to see Sunny walking towards her. "Oh look, it's purple hair. Have you been out in the sun too long? You look like a lobster!"
Sunny ignored the insult, as she was quite good at trash talk herself. "The roller skate was invented in the 1760s, but the modern skate didn't appear until the 1860s with the invention of the Plimpton Skate. The first recorded roller derby game was in the 1930s, not Roman times. And not only that the wheel long predates the roller skate! Otherwise life would be such a drag!"
The crowd groaned at the awful pun.
Tina walked over. "It only makes no sense to you because you're not a real skater. You're just a silly kid with ideas above her station cosplaying as a skater."
Pipp glanced over. "I can't see any ideas above the station."
"Not what that means, but thank you for fulfilling the education quota," Sunny said. "And I'm actually pretty skilled. I've been to this rink more times than you've had hot dinners."
"That's statistically impossible," Tina said.
"How about we go settle this in our native environment?" Sunny suggested.
"How about the Derby? You bring your band of cosplayers and see how badly you get your butts kicked?"
"I think you'll find your butt is the one that's getting kicked!" Sunny said confidently.
Tina backed up, smirking. "And just like that she fell into our trap. It really does amaze me- how the child of a college professor can be so incredibly stupid!"
She and Kiki skated off, laughing, whilst Sunny put her head in her hands. "What have I done?"
"What's happened, Sunny?" a voice asked. Sunny turned to see her dad standing there. "I can tell something's wrong."
Sunny sighed. "Dad, I just did something really stupid." She then explained what had happened, fully expecting a lecture at the end of it.
Instead, Argyle drew her into a hug. "We've all done things we regret," he said simply. "Whilst it is true you should think things through before committing to them, I fully accept this is something you care about. And I'll support you every step of the way."
Sunny nodded as best she could. "Thanks, dad. I hope my friends are just as understanding."
"You did what?" Zipp asked, looking shocked.
"What were you thinking?" Pipp demanded.
Sunny sat slumped at the table outside the shed. "I lost my temper, OK? Somehow Tina knows how to push my buttons!"
"You entered us into a competition we had no chance of winning?" Zipp said. "Just because of some trash talk?"
"She insulted me directly!" Sunny snapped. "Zipp, which side are you on? Hers, or Falmouth's? Besides, if you think I can't form a team why are we even here? Tina and her team are bullies, and we can't let bullies win."
Zipp tried a different tone. "Sunny, I know that. But we're seriously underprepared. We lack the gear or the training to compete at that level. If we were to enter as we are we'd be flattened like pancakes!"
"The pancakes aren't ready yet!" Izzy said.
"Not what Zipp meant," Hitch said.
"But we can train, right?" Pipp asked. "How about we give it a shot?"
Hitch looked at a notebook. "Right, we'll need new skates, armour plating, uniforms, and spare wheels."
"Rarity could handle the uniforms," Pipp said. "Provided we can get the order in to her in time."
"We can practice up at Truro," Izzy pointed out. "I'm game. I'm here to stand by my friends!"
"So, what are we waiting for?"
"Sunny, do you think there should be music?" Pipp suggested.
"Why?"
"I was watching training videos on YouTube and noticed a lot of teams practice to music. And I've been wanting to try out a new cover of mine!"
"If you think it'll help."
So Pipp set her gear and started singing, alongside a funk backing.
Hitch looked at Zipp in confusion. "Deep Purple? Is it just me or did things just get weird?"
Zipp shook her head. "Given all we've been through over the past two years, this is the weird bit to you?"
"That worked a treat!" Sunny said. "At this rate we'll be winning the Derby in no time!"
"You'll be doing what?" asked a voice. The team turned to see Tracy standing there, a disapproving scowl on her face.
"I entered us into the Derby by mistake, but we-"
"Sunny, it's suicide. You can't go there as a new team. You'll be slaughtered."
"I can't let the Falcons bully and push other teams around. They need to have their egos taken down a peg."
Tracy shook her head. "Is this about their ego or yours? You've got guts, and I admire that, but if you want to make a complete fool of yourself, you're doing it on your own."
Suddenly, Argyle spoke. "Whatever happened to the fire-eating Tracy Tailspin I knew? Whilst I know this is a challenge, and I'm hardly a spring chicken myself, this is a real chance to prove rookies do have a place in the sport. Remember our win against the Tinsley Titans? A small team took out veterans. This is our chance to do that for a new generation!"
Tracy sighed. "I have no idea how you keep roping me into these things, Argyle."
Author's Note
This chapter is an adaption of the second Kenbucky Roller Derby comic. As I'm not too familiar with the sport myself I'm glad they included an explanation of how it worked.
The Only Way is Essex is a reality TV show based around the lives of people from Essex, a county in southern England. The show is rather unpopular for helping to purpetuate negative stereotypes about residents of the region, most notably the Essex Girl stereotype (the rough US equivalent is the Valley Girl).
And now, with the gang in the derby, things are only going to hot up. Hold onto your hats, this is gonna be a wild ride!
Thomas and Friends: Tales from the Mainland Volume 4
"You made a solid effort out there, skaters," Tracy said, as she popped past the changing room. The assembled skaters were busy removing their protective equipment and skates as training had halted. "But we should probably take five and have a rest. You were starting to get a tad sluggish on those last few laps."
Zipp seemed baffled. "Shouldn't we be fitting in more training? We are, after all, training for the biggest event on the roller calender. We should be honed, our minds steeled and focused!"
"None of which will be the case if we don't build rest and relaxation into the schedule," Tracy reminded her. "The brain and body benefit from rest periods or a change of pace- after all, it'd do none of us any good if any of you tore a muscle, would it? So long as this whistle hangs round my neck, you're taking rest periods."
Hitch, who was next to Tracy, glanced at the trinket attached to the whistle. "If the whistle indicates you're the boss of the rink, what does the charm mean?"
Tracy sighed, and sat down. "That belonged to an old team-mate of mine. It's also a reminder of one of the worst days of my life when it comes to this sport. Think of it as my albatross, if you will."
"I've never seen an albatross that looks like a star!" Izzy said.
"The metaphorical albatross," Sunny explained. "It's a way of saying somebody is carrying a burden around."
"Or a bird-en, you could say!" Izzy said.
There were several groans at the bad pun before Sunny continued. "But why carry a memory of such a day around with you at all times?"
"The same reason Canadian engineers wear a ring made from part of the first Quebec Bridge," Tracy replied. "It's a reminder to me of what not to do. I found the hard way I was a much better coach than a captain."
"When did this happen?" Argyle asked. "I don't remember a disastrous performance at the Derby."
"This was after you'd gone off to university," Tracy explained. "Back in those days, the Hunslet Hammerheads were on a roll, and on the back of our win against the Darlington Dynamites we suffered two blows. First was Argyle leaving for university. That was fine. His life was pulling that way anyway. But the big shock was when our captain, Streaks, retired unexpectedly and decided to appoint me the new captain.
"He handed the stick he always carried as a lucky charm to me, and asked me to take good care of it. Given we'd won so many times before, although admittedly not always in consecutive years, the pressure was on me to keep up the streak. I'm sorry to say the pressure got to me."
Out on the Falmouth waterfront, work on the amusement park continued apace. Many of the rides were now finished and had completed their mechanical checks, and now riders were getting the chance to experience the rides first hand as a sort of soft opening. True, the facilities weren't quite as developed as many would have hoped, and not all the food stands had opened yet, but there was enough to allow people to have a reasonable day out.
Misty wandered about the park, looking at all the rides. They varied dramatically in size and shape, and truth be told Misty was somewhat frightened of some of them. She'd never really been to a place like this before, as Opaline had not seen the value in places where people could let off steam and forget about their troubles for a while.
She watched as the main roller coaster was winched up the lift hill then dropped down the first drop. Misty simply watched, knowing she didn't have the courage to hop onboard.
Misty sighed. "Why am I so scared of everything? It's just a ride, after all. It's built to comply with loads of safety standards and rules- after all, I'm more likely to slip on a banana peel than get injured on a ride. The board at the entrance said so."
She glanced about, then had an idea. "Why not work my way up to it? A ghost train seems like a sensible start?"
So she went and joined the queue, and within a few minutes was sat and secured into one of the cars. And as it got on its way, she was soon immersed in a spooky landscape of a haunted house, haunted by the soul of a child who was mistreated by her parents and took her revenge one stormy night.
The train rattled past one of the first scenes, showing the girl's father refusing to let her come to a party he'd organised to celebrate new year. "No, you wretched creature!" he said. "You will not go anywhere near the party! Now go to your room before I give you something to really cry about!"
Misty winced. This was hitting rather close to home for her. Perhaps this hadn't been such a good idea after all.
After a trip past some enormous spiders (for some reason) the ghost appeared again- but it wasn't the girl. It was the last person Misty had been expecting to see.
"Miss me, Misty?" she said. There was no denying it. Looking back was Opaline Arcana.
Misty shrieked and backed up as much as she could. "NO! GET AWAY FROM ME!"
"You can't escape me, Misty," Opaline taunted, jumping to another screen. "I'll always be here!"
Then the train reached the finale, where the ghost started tearing the house to pieces in an attempt to prevent the riders from escaping. Only, as before, Misty saw Opaline.
"Who said you could leave?!" the voice demanded. "You can't escape me, Misty! YOU'LL ALWAYS BE MY PLAYTHING!"
Misty only seemed to blink out of it when the train returned to the station. "Excuse me, sweetie, but are you OK?" asked one of the ride operators.
Misty looked up, and pushed the lapbar away from her as she shook like a leaf. "I d-d-don't know," she stammered, and started for the exit, continuing to quiver as she did so.
"My first practice went fairly well," Tracy continued. "My team-mates seemed to enjoy the fairly relaxed lesson plans and atmosphere, but some of the moves were proving to be too complex to follow. One that Streaks had left behind was called the Triple Haymaker, which is very difficult to explain but will make sense when you look at a diagram."
"I know that move!" Sunny said. "From memory it got modified to eliminate the trotrod turnaround and replace it with a plow instead."
"Correct," Tracy replied. "But this was before that, and critically things were going wrong again. Everybody was getting frustrated, and this was producing a lot of bad vibes. And then, I lost the very thing I had promised to keep hold of."
Misty sat on the bench overlooking the sea. She'd bought a box of donuts to help calm herself down. These were her favourite comfort food, and helped her stay focused on the tasks at hand. The jam was especially nice in these ones.
She sat back and sighed. "Maybe scary rides aren't my thing."
As she watched the sea, a voice suddenly spoke.
"Look at you, getting scared at a little haunted house."
Misty jumped, and looked over. "Who's there?"
"Over here!" said the voice. Misty looked over her shoulder and saw a ghostly version of herself there, only the ghost had red eyes rather than green, and had a very cruel smirk on its face. "You're such a baby, you know," the ghosly Misty taunted. "You're a complete coward. Look at how many times you bailed on riding the Wild Blue Wonder!"
Misty buried her face in her arms. "I'm not a baby!"
But the ghost Misty simply smirked some more. "Says the girl whose cries way more than a girl your age should. Like it or not, you can't run from yourself, Misty."
Misty looked at the ghost. "SHUT UP!"
"Ooh, I hit a nerve," the ghost said. "Like it or not, I'm you."
Misty grabbed the box of donuts and ran off in another direction.
"You're not getting away that easily."
"What happened?" Izzy asked.
"I'd misplaced the lucky stick," Tracy explained. "Sport is very supersticious, and if you lose your lucky item you can be in for a world of hurt. Such as the yips."
"What are those?" Pipp asked.
"It's something that means you forget how to do something you should have on muscle memory by now," Tracy explained. "And given my leadership it proved to be the straw that broke the camel's back."
"Leadership isn't always easy," Hitch said. "True, my status as Sargeant of the local CCF gives me a lot of authority- but also a lot of responsibility. Those boys depend on me, and I depend on them. But it's not the three chevrons that give orders. I do, and even if I misplace it I still need to do my job."
"Well said, Hitch," Tracy replied. "But it didn't help when we entered the competition. We got knocked out in the first round. I knew I'd let the side down, so I formally resigned as captain and hung up my skates professionally. True, I still crack them out if I want to have fun, but the professional sport just wasn't for me anymore."
Argyle looked stunned. "Why didn't you mention this when we last met? If we were a player down I'd happily have come back!"
"That wouldn't have been fair on you, expecting you to tramp all the way up from Bristol just for a competition," Tracy said. "But I think coaching is really the future for me. I can't really live this one down."
Sunny then spoke up. "Tracy, you achieved so much incredible stuff in your career. You shouldn't let your entire life be defined by one mistake. True, I've done silly things-"
"Ain't that the truth," Pipp said dryly.
"OK, no need to pile it on. But I've learned from them and grown as a person. Who knows? Your greatest glory could be just around the bend."
Tracy smiled. "Thanks, Sunny. You kids may be new to the sport, but you've got drive and determination, not to mention a lot of courage. Now go get some rest- I've got some paperwork I need to do, and we'll resume training tomorrow."
"Falmouth Pleasure Beach is hosting a soft opening," Zipp said. "How about we go to that?"
Misty had bailed from the line of another ride, and was currently hiding behind one of those boards with holes cut in it that featured a silly picture on one side.
"There she is!" said Sunny, who walked over to Misty. "How are you doing?"
Misty looked up. "Not great," she replied.
Hitch looked up. "Fancy a ride on the Wild Blue Wonder? It looks so good!"
"It's got ten inversions!" Zipp said. "Including a cobra role! I've never done one of those before!"
"Hopefully nobody barfs!" Izzy said.
Misty sighed. That sounded even less like a reason to go on it. "Sorry guys, but not yet. I'm working my way up to it, so I think I'll go on these teacups."
As Misty joined the line, Sunny looked worried. "Are you sure you're OK, Misty?" she asked.
"Yeah, I'll be fine," Misty said, although her tone of voice suggested she hadn't even convinced herself. "You guys go have fun!"
Pipp handed her something. "Here's a FastTrack if you change your mind."
As the others walked away, Misty closed her eyes.
"You know, constantly running away from them isn't helping your case."
Misty opened them again to see the ghost version sitting opposite her, smiling evily.
"How did you get there?"
"I'm a ghost, I don't need to obey laws of space-time. But constantly running off from them only proves what we already know- you're just a pathetic crybaby!"
Misty lunged at the ghost- only for her first to pass through her and slam into the hard plastic of the ride vehicle. "Oww."
"You can't hurt a ghost, remember?"
Misty had similar trouble on the dodgems, seemingly avoiding crashing into other riders. As she looked up to see her friends on the coaster, there was suddenly an impact to the right. Misty looked and, to her lack of surprise, the ghost was driving another car.
Misty just hit the accelerator and drove off. The ghost laughed evilly.
This kept on happening through the day. On the slide, whilst walking through a mirror hall, and even when trying to buy a drink.
"I'm always here... I'm always here... I'm always here..."
Eventually, Misty lost her patience. "SHUT UP AND LEAVE ME ALONE!" she yelled.
"Miss, are you feeling OK?" asked a voice. Misty glanced about to see that her doppelganger had vanished, and everybody was staring at her with odd looks.
Misty quietly shuffled out of the queue and left.
Misty eventually gave up on trying to do anything, and just sat there motionless, watching the trains of the Wild Blue Wonde roar up and down the track.
"Face it, Misty," said the voice, indicating her ghost was back to play. "You're not brave enough to ride that. You're not brave enough to do anything. That's why you'll always be alone."
Misty blinked, and just then something seemed to have been awakened inside her. "Enough is enough!" she said. "I'm not going to let my fear hold me back any longer!" She reached into her pocket and dug out the FastTrack. "Let's do this."
The ghost looked surprised as Misty marched forward. "Surely you can't be serious!"
"I'm serious... and don't call me Shirley."
Misty presented her FastTrack at the line and was shephered into the line. Once she was at the front, to her surprise her friends were about to board.
Sunny leaned over to the ride operator. "Could you hold a seat for our friend? She's in the FastTrack line."
The ride operator beckoned to Misty to come over. "Car three, next to the guy with green hair!"
Misty took her seat and pulled on the seatbelt, followed by lowering the over the shoulder restraint over her head. Once everybody was onboard, the ride operators did a safety check and dispatched the train.
The ghost seemed to be in a state of panic. "No, you can't do this! This is too scary! You could die!"
Misty just ignored them and looked ahead. If nothing else, the ghost's predicament was giving Misty a distinct sense of schadenfreude.
Once the coaster had cleared the first lift hill, it dropped into a steep drop, which ended in an inversion. The train hammered into it, and through the upside down portion, and down again.
Misty whooped in excitement. This was nowhere near as bad as she'd anticipated.
The ghost didn't seem to be having fun, though. "I FEEL SICK!"
The train then hammered through a set of barrel rolls before executing a tight overbanked turn, before dropping into another drop underneath a scenic element.
Misty glanced about and saw the ghost no more, but all too soon the ride was over. As it pulled back into the station, Misty was grinning from ear to ear.
"Enjoy that?" Hitch asked.
"Sure did!" Misty said. "Let's do it again!" Sure enough, she had conquered her fear of roller coasters.
Author's Note
This is an adaptation of the third Kenbucky Roller Derby comic. The title is taken from the Monkeynaught song of the same name. It also incorporates the plot of the Tell your Tale episode Emotional Rollercoaster .
The first Quebec Bridge was built in 1907, and was built in a great hurry without the required safety checks to save money; the design's weight far exceeded its carrying capacity and the dead load was too great. The resulting structure collapsed during construction, claiming the lives of 75 workers. Since that day, Canadian engineers have been given a ring made from that bridge at graduation, to act as a permanent reminder to never let hubris or cost concerns get in the way of safety.
The two rides in this chapter are inspred by the Curse at Alton Manor at Alton Towers and Colossus at Thorpe Park. The Curse at Alton Manor is a classic haunted house attraction, showcasing an old house haunted by the spirit of a child abused by her parents (hence why Misty finds it a little uncomfortable). Colossus was the first rollercoaster in the world to feature 10 inversions, and although this record was later beaten by The Smiler the coaster is still beloved. It even received a comprehensive refit recently, allowing it to run for many more years.
Misty having a FastTrack is meant to resolve a plot hole in the original episode regarding Misty queuejumping, as queuejumping in this manner would get you thrown out of a park in real life.
The finale of the chapter combines elements of the episode and one of my own memories, namely the moment I finally overcame my fear of roller coasters.
Thomas and Friends: Tales from the Mainland Volume 4
So far, things were going well. Izzy smiled as she looked over to Hitch. "And split!" she called.
The pair moved from side to side to dodge a set of training dummies that had been set up, and then moved back together in front of it.
"Consider them jammed!" Hitch said. "You know, these unorthodox tactics you've come up with are really good."
"Thanks!" Izzy smiled. "There's just something about the smell of wheel grease, other substances, and disco balls that giving me really good ideas!"
"This other substance isn't glue, is it?" Pipp asked.
Izzy looked over indignantly. "I do not sniff glue! How would you like it if somebody just randomly started sniffing you?"
"OK kids!" Tracy called. "Let's take five and have a rest." She held a clipboard up to Sunny. "So far we're doing great. We've got some new tactics courtesy of Izzy, we have the uniforms, new safety equipment, plenty of motivational stories. That just leaves the entry fee. You have paid it, right?"
Sunny's face went white as she took out her phone. "I forgot," she said sheepishly. "But I've got the email on my phone and should find it soon. Here we are!"
Tracy looked at the email and looked very surprised. "I know I've been out of the game for a while, but surely inflation isn't that bad!" she said. "It didn't have that many zeroes when I last entered."
"I don't have four figures sitting around in my bank account!" Sunny said. "Besides, if I tried it the bank would probably flag the payment as fraud and block it." She put her head in her hands. "Why am I only good at messing things up?"
"We all make mistakes, Sunny," Pipp said. "I once forgot to turn the sound on when streaming, which was interesting experience."
"Remember the time we had to pay for retroactive planning permission?" Zipp said. "We could use the same tactic."
Sunny shook her head. "I don't think mom would appreciate me calling her about this when she's in Poland."
"Business trip?" Izzy ventured.
"Yes, and she's probably very busy. Besides, I really don't like using her as a walking ATM."
"Besides, we can all work together to correct this," Hitch said. "We're all in this together, and no doubt you're already brainstorming ideas to fix it."
"You know, I do have a few thoughts," Sunny said. "Why not have a bake sale, with a special smoothie to help raise funds?"
"Can't we try something a bit more exciting?" Zipp asked. "Why not jousting- wait for it- on roller skates?"
"Why did you pause for such a long time?" Pipp asked.
"Dramatic effect."
"I could skate around town to promote that," Hitch said. "Besides, it would mean I'd no longer need the quadbike to get around."
"Can roller skates tow heavier equipment?" Izzy asked.
Hitch's face fell. "I'd overlooked that."
Izzy now spoke. "I have an idea. We could have a roller skate paint party, where people paint patterns with the skates! Or how about an open skate party, where people learn to skate in return for a small donation?"
"And I could perform music!" Pipp suggested.
"How about we combine them all into one?"
Meanwhile, on the other side of town, Flank looked at his colleagues. "This isn't looking good," he said. "That new team are really getting good. I haven't seen a team improve this quickly in a very long time."
"Probably because of hired help," Kiki grumbled. "Hiring in a coach is always possible if you've got a large enough bank balance. I'd forgotten Mister Egghead was mates with Tracy Tailspin."
"Odd name for him," Tina commented.
"Given he's one of my professors at the University, don't repeat that," Kiki said. "Besides, I've heard rumours they're holding a fundraiser. Perhaps we should pop along and find out how they're doing."
Captain Buck looked at them. "Don't do anything silly. I don't want our chances of entering the competition to be compromised. If you so much as place a hand on them I will not be pleased."
"Don't worry boss," Flank said. "We won't."
"I think they're going to be a problem," Kiki said.
Less than a week had passed since they had started the observation operation, and already Sunny's team (christened the Locoyard Lightships) had won a bout against the reformed Tinsley Titans. Furthermore, their training only continued to hone their skills.
"What date is their fundraiser again?" Tina asked. "If they get that fee paid they are basically guaranteed a spot at the Derby."
"Tomorrow, I think," Flank said. "Perhaps some sabotage is in order. After all, they can't pay the fee if the fundraiser never happens."
"Flank, boss said that we're not to hurt anybody!" Kiki protested.
"No, he said we're not to place a hand on them. Provided we only use our feet we should be fine."
It was the day of the fundraiser, the disco paint joust derby... thing. Pipp was busy explaining what was going on. "I've set up a smoothie station by the back wall next to the Truro Track, and the disco ball is already going at full power. I also ordered in loads of pizza, so that should help cover anybody who feels a bit peckish!"
"What type of pizza did you get?" Sunny asked.
"Pepperoni, deep fried. And technically I didn't get it. I asked your dad to make it according to that recipe you have!"
"It's an easy thing to bulk produce," Argyle explained. "Besides, I didn't want the Chicago recipe to go to waste."
But as they walked in, they were greeted with a scene of devastation. Drinks were all over the floor. Pizza was splattered on the ground, making a horrible mess. The disco ball had been removed. And paint had been smeared all over the place.
"Oh no," Sunny said. "How are we going to hold the fundraiser now? People are already popping their donations into the box to come in!"
"I don't fancy becoming the next Willy's Chocolate Experience," Hitch said.
Izzy then had a brainwave. "How about we get them to help us put it back together?"
Thankfully, once they had learned the fundraiser had been trashed, the assembled crowd was more than happy to help out the team fix the problem. Sure enough, they got to work. Tables were put back into place. Drinks were remade, and new pizza supplied to replace the ruined pizza. The paint and mess were cleaned up with roller skating cleaning brushes. And a new disco ball was put into place to replace the other one.
Soon, the fundraiser was well underway, and Tina leaned in, scowling. "How did they get all of that put back up so fast?!" she said. "Why are they supporting them instead of us?"
Kiki sighed. "There goes the plan to have their reputation tarnished. Making Sunny out to be a liar who can't supply what was promised would have made this so much easier."
"They're a lot more resourceful than I gave them credit," Flank said. "But then again remember who her dad is."
Tina smiled. "I have an idea. This might work."
As Sunny was on her way home to the station, she suddenly heard a voice.
"Hey, you!"
Sunny swung round to see Tina pull up in front of her. "Hey Tina. How is it go-"
"Being able to trick people into cleaning up your mess doesn't make you a good leader, Sunny," Tina said. "I wouldn't be surprised if you made that mess yourself so others could clean it up!"
"You take that back!" Sunny said.
Tina leaned in closer. "Small shots like you don't belong here, Sunny. I can smell the sea salt on you. Country bumpkins like you are the last thing the sport needs."
Sunny laughed coldly, and started learning closer with every sentence she said. "Oh, I get it now. You're scared... of being beaten... by a group of rookies." She abruptly pulled back as the shuttle to Falmouth pulled in. "Well, check six, Tina. We're coming for you."
Tina smiled coldly as Sunny walked away. "Oh, we'll see about that, Sunny. We'll see about that. Time for my interference strategy to pay off."
Zipp got back in after a long day and went staight to her room to relax. On the way, however, she heard a thump. "Ow! Wearing skates with this lot is harder than it looks!"
Zipp dropped back and opened the door. "Misty, are you... O..." She trailled off as she saw what Misty was wearing. The colours of the Falmouth Falcons.
Zipp's smile vanished, replaced by tranquil fury. "Et tu, Brute?" she asked.
"Sorry?" Misty asked. "Who's Brute? I'm Misty?"
"You joined the Falcons, didn't you?" Zipp asked.
"Well, Tina did offer me a solid position, and-"
"We're competing against them! You're like a sister to me, Misty! How could you do this?"
Misty got herself up and rolled over as best she could. "Wait, what? You formed your own team? Why didn't you ask me?"
Zipp looked shocked. "How were you not aware?"
"You never mentioned it, so I just assumed you were too busy for some reason." Misty looked at the clock. "I've got training in half an hour, so if you'll excuse me I need to be on my way."
As Misty left, Zipp looked about. "They're trying to drive a wedge between us. Well, not today."
Author's Note
This chapter is an adaptation of the fourth Kenbucky Roller Derby comic. The title is taken from the 1954 novel of the same name by Paul Brickhill.
Willy's Chocolate Experience was a notorious scam event which occurred in Glasgow in 2024. What was advertised as a Charlie and the Chocolate Factory-esque whimsical journey rapidly turned out to be a sparsely decorated warehouse. Safe to say, the result bore little resemblance to the (nonsensical and typo-ridden) promotional material, and the police was ultimately called.
Et tu, brute is a Latin phrase meaning 'and you, Brutus'. The line is taken from Act 3, Scene I of the Shakespeare play Julius Caesar, when Caesar recognises his old friend Brutus amongst his assasins. Since then, the phrase has been used in popular culture to represent betrayal by an old friend; Rarity uses a variant of the line when confronting Sweetie Belle in Ponyville Confidential , and the Kenbucky Roller Derby comic has Sunny ask Zipp this question in Issue 2 (albeit getting the declension wrong; it should read 'et tu, zippe', not 'et tu, zippus').
Thomas and Friends: Tales from the Mainland Volume 4
The day of the Derby had arrived, and the teams began to gather at the event. The rink in Penzance was ready for duty, and the competitors were prepared to push themselves to their limits to achieve victory.
Tracy glanced about, seeing all the teams prepping their gear. "Gotta say, this is much bigger than it was in my prime," she said, gently nudging Argyle. "Course, back then, it was much less professional than it is now."
"Our big win was with second hand skates, if I recall correctly," Argyle said.
"Precisely!" Tracy laughed. "That was a fun day. But that wouldn't work nowadays. In fact, these teams seem to have a lot of money behind them."
"Hey! Tracy!" called a voice. Tracy glanced over to see a woman with bluish skin and white hair walking over. "It's been such a long time since we last spoke."
Tracy grinned. "Streaks! Great to see you again!" She turned to show Sunny and her friends. "This is the team Argyle and me have been training up."
Streaks grinned in return. "Great to see you inspiring the next generation. May I introduce the Locoyard Lightships! Captain Sunny Starscout, Hitch Trailblazer, Izzy Moonbow, Zipp Storm, and Pipp Petals!"
Streaks smiled. "You've got a great team. So, Monty, how are you connected to these kids?"
"Sunny's my daughter, and the others are her friends," Argyle explained.
Streaks was stunned. "Dude, you and I have so much catching up to do! I had no clue you'd gotten married! We can catch up during the competition!"
"I only learned from the best," Argyle smiled. "You're one of the greatest Derby players to have ever lived, Streaks."
"Really? You and Tracy were liked greased lightning on the ground!"
"Boss?" called a voice. "We're on in twenty!"
"Copy that!" Streaks replied. "Those are the Churston Cavaliers- I've been training them. Best of luck!"
After a short practice in the main rink, the Locoyard Lightships retreated to an outdoor area for a rest. The Falmouth Falcons had just arrived, and Tina looked back at their new member. "This is your chance to make history, Misty," he said. "We can win this and show this bunch of newbies they belong in the junkyard."
"Especially those rich kids," Flank laughed. "Perhaps Pipp should go back to making shoddy videos and being a tub of lard. How does anybody live like that?!"
Misty, however, was starting to regret her decision to join the Falcons. "Uhh, guys, Pipp is kinda my sister, so I'd appreciate it if you'd stop being rude about her."
Kiki leaned in her face. "Having second thoughts, you turncoat?" she said. "Out here, family ties mean nothing. The Falmouth Falcons are the hunters- we chew bad teams up and spit them out. We'll leave those losers in the dust and regretting ever having joined the party. Am I clear?"
Misty moved back. She never liked it when people yelled in her face, as Opaline often did that. "Do we ha-"
"Am I clear, yes or no?"
"C- crystal."
"Good. We're on the field soon. Don't mess this up."
As the others walked off, Misty sat down and took out her phone before dialling a number. "Mom? It's Misty. I think I've made a mistake..."
Hitch smiled as he sipped on a drink. "That sport was a lot of fun," he said. "Those guys from Aberdeen were great fun to skate with."
"Part of the fun of the sport," Sunny said. "I find the community spirit is similar to that of ice hockey- players are friends, not the crazy rivalries you find in so many other sports. Even if the Falmouth Falcons don't seem to understand the spirit of the game. You know, I wonder if they're behind the problems we've been having?"
"They may be like friends, but don't expect them to go easy," Tracy said. "They'll want to provide stiff competition, and as such we will have to bring our all. And I'd hope not- we've had a hard enough time as it is."
"That we can do," Zipp said, as they got up to head out. Suddenly, there was a crash and Hitch flew past them, tumbling over and over until he hit the floor with a bang.
"Hitch!" Sunny called, running to his position. "Are you OK?"
Hitch looked up with a groan. "Sunny, I think my leg's broken."
Faven, who had arrived shortly before and was tending to Hitch, gave her report. "Hitch's leg is sprained, not broken," she said. "But he's still in no condition to compete."
"How are we going to compete with one member down?" Zipp asked.
"I'll help," said a familiar voice. They looked up to see Misty there.
"What's going on, Misty?" Zipp asked. "Thought you were with the Falcons."
"I quit," Misty said. "Tina put paint where Hitch stepped so he'd slip and fall. I saw it happen and quit on the spot. I made a big mistake joining the Falcons, and I want to put that right."
Zipp sighed. "I got an apology to make too. Sorry for not inviting you to join."
Misty smiled. "I forgive you. What sort of sister doesn't?"
Captain Buck was furious. "What the Hell were you thinking, Tina?" he snapped. "You actively disobeyed my orders and violated league rules by attacking another player! Now we're risking being suspended for that stunt!"
"Flank had the idea!" Tina replied.
"I know that, and he's being held responsible too," Buck said. "But the fact your first impulse was to throw a team-mate under the bus tells me everything I need to know about you. The ethics board have given me a choice- either face a lifetime suspension for the team, or get rid of the troublemakers."
Tina looked horrified. "You can't fire me from the team!"
"You're quite correct on that front, Tina." Captain Buck looked especially serious. "I cannot fire you- because I already have. I can't fire people who aren't members of the team. Good luck with your future sporting life- though I doubt you'll have much of a chance when news of this gets out."
Captain Buck spoke to Sunny next. "I want to apologise for what my colleagues did to yours," he said. "The individuals concerned have been fired from the team, and although this renders us unable to compete in the event as our team is now too small, I would rather sit this out and spectate than compete with a dishonourable team. I was too slow to act on this, Sunny, and for that I am sorry. As an act of penance I hereby wish to help you win."
Sunny nodded. "You did the right thing," she said. "And for that I don't hold a grudge against you. Best of luck in building a new team."
Captain Buck nodded and went to take his seat.
The rest of the team had now assembled, and they were raring to go. Sunny turned to them. "They said we're not welcome here!" she said. "Well, this is our chance. Let's get out there and prove there is a space for newbies in the sport! THIS IS OUR CHANCE! LET'S SHOW THEM WHAT WE'RE MADE OF!"
And sure enough, the event began, with the first round of matches. Misty integrated into the team and was soon starting to use tactics developed by the Falmouth Falcons to great effect. Team after team fell to the Locoyard Lightships, with Tracy helping with tactics and Captain Buck helping with overall game plan.
And at last, the final came. The final teams were the Locoyard Lightships and the Churston Cavaliers, and as they lined up on the start grid they prepared to do battle.
"Talk about a matchup!" commented Streaks. "The teacher and the student, taking one another on!"
"That's what sport is all about!" Tracy laughed. "Generations coming together!"
And against all the odds, the Locoyard Lightships emerged victorious, becoming the winners of the 2025 Derby. As they ascended the winner's podium and held the trophy aloft, Sunny felt a surge of pride in her heart. Her gamble had truly paid off.
As they made their way to the encampment, Sunny suddenly saw a familiar face. Tina was nearby, and looking like she was about to blow a blood vessel.
She turned, and glared at Sunny. "Well, if it isn't the team that made up a fake story. I bet you told Hitch to injure himself to get me in trouble and steal my win from me- the win which was mine by right."
"Who would do something that silly?" Sunny said. "Besides, it's not as if you can compete any more. You're not the only one who can do trash talk."
Tina snarled. "This isn't over, Sunny. I'm not finished with you!"
"I wouldn't be so sure of that, Mrs Lifetime Ban."
"Pay her no heed, Sunny," Argyle said. "You guys more than earned this. We all belong in this community, and a few bad eggs in the community will not change that one bit."
"You pulled off something incredible," Tracy said. "Sorry for doubting you, kid."
Sunny pulled her friends into a hug. Together, they had stuck through thick and thin and emerged giants.
Author's Note
This chapter is an adaptation of the fifth and final Kenbucky Roller Derby comic. The title of the chapter is taken from the 1981 film of the same name. A couple of different sporting jokes have been left in there- can you spot them all?
Thomas and Friends: Tales from the Mainland Volume 4
"From the moment I understood the weakness of my flesh, it disgusted me. I craved the strength and certainty of steel. I aspired to the purity of the Blessed Machine. Your kind cling to your flesh, as though it will not decay and fail you. One day the crude biomass you call the temple will wither, and you will beg my kind to save you. But I am already saved, for the Machine is immortal. Even in death I serve the Omnissiah!"
"Dad, Mechanicus is on Thursdays," Sunny said. "It's Age of Arthur tonight!"
"Oh, so it is," Argyle said, sighing. "Oops. Accidentally started with the wrong character. Best get my notes on Kilmarnock."
It would come as no surprise to most people to learn that Argyle was an enormous board games nerd on top of his other quite nerdy interests. He had hosted many sessions of Dungeons & Dragons during his youth at school and university, and also ran a club at Falmouth University (which met on Thursday evenings). Sunny went along to those as well, as she found it all quite fun- to be able to temporarily leave your real life behind and enter a realm of fantasy for a while was an amazing way to unwind.
Argyle also hosted games at home, and Sunday evenings was when he held the weekly Age of Arthur session.
Just then, there was a knock on the door. "Hey guys!" Sunny said, opening the doors.
Her friends filed through in rapid succession. "So, what's the quest tonight?" Hitch asked.
"Well, continuing from last week we continue on our mission to find the Twelve Swords of Lancaster," Argyle said. "Go forth, collect mead or some other drink, and take your seat round this fine table. Unfortunately, I prithee couldst'not find a round table, so to the squareness of the table we shall relent."
Goldie walked in to grab a drink. "Getting into character, are we?" she said.
"You know it helps with immersion!" Argyle protested.
Goldie smiled. "If it's something you enjoy and helps you unwind I really don't mind. Just keep the noise down, OK?"
"Wanna join, mom?" Sunny asked.
"Sorry, Sunny, but I'm a bit busy right now. Besides, chess was always more my thing. Roleplaying was something I never really got into."
"A shame, really," Argyle said. "You can act really well!"
"Thank you, dear." Goldie then stepped out of the room. "Have fun, honey- or should I say Kilmarnock?"
Argyle nodded. "Of course." He looked back to the group. "Now then, noble knights? Who is ready? Aglonore?"
"Prepared and ready to assist with magic as my weapon!" Sunny said.
"Dindragan?"
"The hordes of Mordred shall quiver under my axes! Such is the Bezerker way!"
Pipp leaned over to Izzy. "Way too intense."
"Lisarine?"
"With healing magic I shall guide us to victory!" Pipp said.
"Olwegan?"
"Chivalry is my guide, and my sword and lance shall see us through!" Zipp said.
"Aga- Agaf- sorry for breaking character, Hitch, but how do you pronounce this?"
Hitch sighed. "Just say Agafund. I shall march forth, leading the way with my bow!"
"Such a cowardly weapon!" Zipp said. "Only a true warrior fights with a sword!"
"I shall see you repeat that when an arrow brings the enemy down!" Hitch replied.
Sunny leaned over. "Hitch, why did you pick a name that's completely unpronouncable?"
"I thought it sounded cool."
"And finally, Lynelda!"
Misty looked up. "I may seem a little quiet, but my strength is very real. When the road gets tough, my heart helps me feel!"
"Such poetry," Argyle said. "Truly thou should'st been a bard!"
"I serve the party through saving, not song," Misty replied. "So, where does our quest take us today, Kilmarnock?"
Before Argyle could continue, the book he was using suddenly started to glow. Energy began to pour from it.
"What's going on?" Misty asked.
"Right, stay calm and we should be fine!" Sunny said, although her tone of voice suggested otherwise.
Suddenly, they all got pulled out of their seats and into the book itself. Which then slammed shut.
Sunny groaned as she got back up. "Ouch," she said. "That landing did a number on me." She looked about her, and noticed something had changed. "Wait a minute. This isn't Falmouth."
"And look at our clothing!" Pipp said. "We totally look the part now!"
And they did. Zipp and Hitch were now clad from head to toe in chainmail and suitable helmets, whilst Argyle, Sunny, Pipp, and Misty were all clad in robes. Izzy and Hitch were dressed in what looked like leather armour.
Just then, another voice caught their attention.
"How did I end up in the middle of a muddy field?"
The group looked over to see Goldie getting to her feet. She was also clad in robes. She looked down in confusion. "And what happened to my clothes?"
"It would seem we've been teleported," Zipp said. "Again."
"Why does this keep happening to us?" Pipp asked. "What is it with our lives and being randomly teleported about?"
Argyle looked up, and realised something. "Look! In the distance!" he said. "It's a castle! And not just any Castle! It's Camelot!"
"Camelot?" asked Sunny.
"Camelot!" breathed Zipp in amazement.
"Camelot!" Misty added.
"It's probably only a model," Goldie said. She then noticed everybody looking at her. "What?"
"Mom, you might need a fantasy name," Sunny said. "I don't want to sound awkward, but Gloria doesn't exactly fit with the Arthurian vibe."
Goldie nodded. "Right then. How about Guenerawd?"
Argyle smiled. "Welcome, knights! I, Kilmarnock, shall lead you to your new home. We ride... to Camelot!"
"We're Knights of the Round Table!
The team looked in confusion as they walked past a band of dancing knights. "I don't remember that from the legends," Argyle said, as they walked deeper into the halls of the mighty castle.
Eventually, they arrived in the throne room. Sitting there was a wise figure in heavy robes and a crown.
"Ah, Fair Kilmarnock!" he said. "I trust your party's mission to retreive the golden sock went well?"
"Yes, your majesty," Argyle said, and bowed. "You should all bow too," he said to his party.
"Who is this?" Goldie asked, discreetly.
Zipp spoke up. "This is King Arthur, King of England!"
Arthur laughed. "Welcome to Camelot, Olwegan. Truly will you be fine equal to any of my knights if you hold this course."
"Do you have any quests for us, Your Majesty?" Sunny asked.
"Indeed I do, Aglonore," Arthur said, stepping from his throne and walking over to a table with a map on it. "A day's travel hence lies the village of Glanchester. This village sits upon a lake, and is being threatened- by a giant evil drake. A mallard of such malice, twice the size of any man. A bill to give you nightmares and a monsterous wingspan!"
Goldie looked in disbelief. "We're being sent to fight a duck?"
"Not just any duck!" Misty said. "Moby Duck!"
"You know of him?" Arthur asked.
"I do indeed," Misty said. "We fought him before. And lost."
"I would have the Knights of the Round Table deal with this monster, but the Search for the Holy Grail has them occupied," Arthur said. "And the ongoing war with Mordred is consuming most of my time and energy. As such, it falls to you to free Glanchester from this wicked monster's control. Best of luck."
As they exited the castle, they heard more singing.
"We're Knights of the Round Table!
"Pretty certain that's anachronistic," Sunny said.
Argyle glanced back. "True, Camelot can sometimes be a silly place. But sometimes such levity can be quite a boon in dark times. Come, let us set forth on our quest!"
Pipp sighed. "I hope this doesn't involve loads of walking."
"Be glad you're not doing it in several pounds of armour," Zipp said.
"Guys, Pipp has gotten stuck on the paving tiles again!" Hitch called.
Pipp was walking in place, but not moving forward. "How am I not moving?" she asked.
Zipp calmly pushed her to one side and looked at the road. "One of the road tiles is slightly misplaced, causing your hitboxes to collide," she explained.
Just then, a fisherman walked past. "Mornin'! Nice day for fishin', ain't it? Huh huh!"
Pipp looked over her shoulder and noticed the fisherman greet the next person on the road.
"Mornin'! Nice day for fishin', ain't it? Huh huh!"
Pipp sighed. "Did somebody only give him one line of dialogue?"
After a long and frustrating journey, the party finally arrived in Glanchester to find large numbers of people standing around, facing the road.
"Excuse me, could you point us to the lake?" Sunny asked one.
There was no response, and the man simply bobbed up and down.
Argyle stepped over. "No use talking to him. He's probably already spoken to somebody else and needs time to reset."
Meanwhile, Hitch was talking to somebody- but seemed a bit impatient.
"Good morning, adventurer, and wel-"
"Skip!"
"As you can see, we are but a hu-"
"Skip!"
"Our waters are threatened by a gi-"
"Skip!"
"If you could help me find my sheep, I co-"
"Skip!"
"Good luck, adventurer!"
Sunny walked over. "Hitch, what if a crucial bit of information was in one of the lines of dialogue you skipped?"
Hitch sighed. "Didn't think of that."
Over on the other side of town, Zipp had found an invisible wall leading to the lake. "Maybe boundary clipping will do the trick," she said, and pushed against it- only to fall straight through the floor and respawn.
"OK, maybe using exploits isn't such a good idea."
After completing some quests, the team were finally able to progress to the lake, where the dreaded Moby Duck reared up before them. He was enormous, and with a booming quack made his presence known.
"This looks pretty tough," Sunny said. "Got any ideas?"
Misty stepped forward, her form glowing. "How about we talk to him instead of just resorting to swords?" she suggested. "Maybe he'll leave the villagers alone if he is given something?"
There was another quack.
"What's he saying, Mis- sorry, what's your character called again?" Goldie asked.
"Lynelda," Misty replied. "He says he needs duck feed. Being such a huge duck is difficult, and he needs more food than most."
Zipp pulled up a walkthrough. "OK, so where do we find duck feed?" she said. Her face fell. "Oh no."
"What's wrong, Zipp?" Pipp asked.
"There's only one place we can get duck feed- back in Camelot."
Sunny smiled. "Good thing one of my spells allows me to fast travel!" She suddenly vanished, and seconds later appeared with quite a lot of duck feed. "Hopefully this'll be enough!"
Moby Duck quacked happily, then picked up the feed and swam off.
Text appeared in the sky. QUEST COMPLETE, and the team glowed.
"What's going on?" Goldie asked.
"We're levelling up!" Sunny said. As she said, a portal opened, and they were pulled through once more.
With a surge of energy, the party was suddenly plopped back into Falmouth, into their seats- and back into their usual clothing, much to Pipp's relief.
"Well, that was quite the adventure, and hopefully we had fun!" Argyle said.
"Was that from the random quests option?" Sunny asked, looking over her father's shoulder. "Ah. Moby Duck. Side quest."
"But being inside the game was pretty wild!" Zipp said. "Never thought I'd actually be inside the game and see how it works!"
"If I know anything," Goldie said, "crazy adventures seem to follow us about. But we're better equipped to handle them now."
"Next week, we resume the search for the Twelve Swords of Lancaster!"
Author's Note
This chapter is an adaptation expansion of Buried in a Good Book , an episode of Tell your Tale . The title is an allusion to the 1982 made-for-television film of the same name that was made at the height of the Dungeons and Dragons moral panic. Incidentally, the film marked the acting debut of Tom Hanks.
Coming up with fantasy names is a key part of RPG games, and some players do get extremely into character when playing. Many of these names were generated using a name generator, but two of them are references to other media. Argyle's character is called Kilmarnock, which is an allusion to the story The Lost Prince where it is revealed this is his real name. It also serves as a double joke in context, as Kilmarnock and Argyle are both Scottish counties.
Hitch's character is named Agafnd, in reference to a character from the infamous novella The Eye of Argon . A short story penned by a fantasy fan in the 1960s, the story draws very heavily on the Conan the Barbarian stories penned by Robert Howard but is best remembered for its heavy use of purple prose and the author's tendancy to invent words. Many of the character names also lack vowels, making it difficult to figure out how to pronounce them; in the case of Agafnd, it is common practice to insert a U between the F and N.
The chapter has numerous Monty Python jokes; the song Spamalot is briefly quoted, and other aspects of the comedy troupe's work is also referenced.
Moby Duck is inspired by a song of the same name written by The Longest Johns. Intended as a spoof of Moby Dick, the song has the feel of a D&D quest gone very, very wrong, which made it an ideal fit for a story affectionately parodying many conventions of the fantasy roleplay genre.
Many of the jokes in Glanchester are references to ones from the internet series Epic NPC Man , which affectionately parodies many conventions of MMORPGs. See if you can spot them all!
Thomas and Friends: Tales from the Mainland Volume 4
The Smiles we Left Behind
Zipp flipped through the books and sighed. "This is getting really frustrating," she groaned. "Whilst the family trees are certainly handy, why did nobody put portraits to these names? Figuring out who is who is gonna take so long!"
"Is everything OK, Zipp?" asked a voice. Zipp glanced over and saw Lady Haven walking into the reading room.
"I'm doing family research again, but matching these names to the portraits on the wall is not easy," Zipp replied. "I've gotten Sir Bedivere and many of his issue correctly sorted, but from about 1700 onwards it becomes really difficult."
Lady Haven looked at the wall. "The fact that the fashion then was for wigs and frock coats possibly does make telling them apart rather difficult," she admitted. "Besides, the paintings were not always accurate. See the one there? Of Lady Patricia Haven?"
Zipp looked. "Yeah?"
"I found a note in the receipt asking for her appearance to be... 'altered', shall we say."
"Ah, so the painter did a Hans Holbein?"
"Though not quite as extreme as that." Lady Haven nodded. "I would like to stay and help, but I've got much too much to deal with right now. Why not go and talk with Argyle? He's an expert on this sort of thing- he helped sort those texts into the correct order."
Zipp nodded. "I'll ring him now. Thanks mom!"
"No problem, my dear."
"Welcome to the genealogy lab!" Argyle said, as Zipp entered the lighthouse home. The tables of the living/dining room had been covered in books old and new, with many archaic and unusual titles.
"That's a lot of books," Zipp said.
"I like to go to the source," Argyle explained. "I find that while Ancestry and FindMyPast can be useful, not everybody who uses the site transcribes things correctly- not helped by the fact some people in the past had truly dreadful handwriting."
Just then, Sunny arrived. "Just got the last books for you here, dad!" She popped them down next to the table.
"Thank you, Sunny." Argyle turned to her. "Now, which book should we start with?"
Sunny dug through the pile and opened it, then placed it on the table. "At least your family history is so well documented," she said. "We've had to glue ours together from various sources. Astonishingly, we discovered that Dyrham Park had once been owned by the Skylights, and that a distant relative of mine had been stationed there in WW2. We're still working on piecing together things from before the 1600s, though."
Argyle looked over. "Sunny, that's the wrong book. That's an early photo album."
Zipp dashed over to see what was in it- and the picture it was turned to caught her by surprise.
The picture had clearly been taken when Sunny was still a baby, but it was the other figure in the scene that surprised Zipp. Holding her was a woman who appeared to be in her early thirties, who had pinkish skin and purple hair. Her olive green eyes seemed to twinkle in the shot, and she was dressed in what appeared to be very casual clothing that had some paint on it.
Zipp was surprised. She knew this woman couldn't be Sunny's mother, as she knew Goldie very well. So who was she?
Argyle noticed Zipp's surprise, and started to speak. "You're wondering who the woman is, right?"
"Uh, yeah."
Argyle smiled. "Boy does that bring back memories. That's Veronica, my sister. That must have been taken when Sunny was only a few months old."
Zipp took a seat. "How does she fit into the story, if you don't mind me asking?"
"She often helped to take care of me when mom was away or busy," Sunny said. "She lived in Truro, so she could easily pop down to help out." She flipped the page, a tear in her eye as she saw scenes she remembered from when she was a kid.
"What's the context behind that one?" Zipp asked, pointing to an image of them next to a tree.
"Well, that's quite the story," Argyle said. "I'm still not entirely sure how she got up there!"
"If I had another penny/
"Byker Hill and Walker Shore/
"These steelworks trucks have a fine voice," Harvey said, as he continued shunting trucks.
"What's the song?" Goldie asked.
"It's an old coal mining song," Harvey said. "I learned it back when I worked in Shelton Steelworks. Many of the hoppers were converted from old coal trucks, and they'd learned the song from older trucks based at coal mines in the northeast. It was quite the sound hearing hundreds of them singing in unison."
"You've not talked a huge amount about your life in industry," Goldie said.
"That's mainly because nobody has asked," Harvey replied. "But there's one story I think works especially well, considering where we are. It all began many years ago..."
In that moment, Sunny realised she had made a terrible mistake. She was up a tree... with no way to get down!
She panicked and gripped the branch tighter.
"Sunny! We're down here!"
Sunny looked down to see her dad and Veronica standing below the tree.
"Just jump down!" Veronica called. "We'll catch you!"
"What if I miss?" Sunny asked, her voice quivering.
"You won't!" Argyle replied. "You got this, Sunny!"
Sunny steeled herself- and after closing her eyes let go. There was an awful sense of going down, of the ground rushing towards her-
and then suddenly stopping, feeling arms around her. "She's certainly heavier than last time we did this!" Argyle said.
Sunny opened her eyes- to be in the arms of family. "Thanks for catching me."
"Well, we weren't going to let you slam into the floor, were we?" Veronica replied. "You did what so many others haven't, Sunbeam- you threw yourself at the ground and missed!"
That at least got Sunny laughing.
"Back in those days," Harvey began, "I was painted red. I had originally been painted out in green for my early years of the Scottish docksides, but the steelworks was a potentially hazardous place, and as such I was painted red so I could easily be spotted. I also gained yellow bufferbeams for the same reason. Unfortunately, my appearance made me the subject of mockery from mainline engines. They often asked me if I was having an identity crisis, or tell me I would never do anything other than shunt trucks."
Goldie looked cross. "If I'd been there I'd have given those engines a piece of my mind," she said. "Everybody is useful in their own way. Many leaves, one tree, I believe the saying goes."
"I wasn't too bothered by it," Harvey admitted. "Working in heavy industry does require one to be tough. And you're quite right- it doesn't matter what somebody is born or built as, but what they go on to be or do." He paused. "Where was I? Ah, I remember now. I was very used to working on my own, and the trucks being in good voice meant there was usually a work song with which to pass the time. But one day I would prove to be very helpful indeed."
"Please, do tell us!" said another voice. Harvey looked over and, to his surprise, a crowd had gathered to hear him speak.
"Wow, that sounds wild," Zipp said. "Reminds me of the time me and Pipp went climbing on the rooftops of Purbeck House, thinking we were climbing Mount Everest."
"I trust that ended safely?" Argyle asked.
"Yep. Totally worth the grounding!"
Sunny flipped to another picture. "Safe to say, people had some curious thoughts about another woman sometimes being around. There were some people who thought Veronica was my mom- I'm not sure how that works."
Zipp glanced from the picture to Sunny and back. "There is a slight resemblance, but that's because she's your aunt."
"Indeed," Argyle said. "I remember taking that one. That was Veronica's first time telling Sunny a bedtime story..."
"And so," Veronica finished, "Rheneas was always ready for another day."
"Can we see him?" Sunny asked.
Veronica looked to the window. "Not today. Sodor is very far from here, and the number of engines who can talk is declining. But nothing's gone forever, Sunny. Someday, somebody will bring them back."
"You think so?" Sunny asked.
"I know so."
"It was a cold winter morning, if I recall correctly," Harvey said. "The snow was heavy on the ground, and the thermometer was well below freezing. The workmen certainly were happy for the heat coming from the machinery, that's for sure. But I was out shunting when suddenly a call went out from the main line."
"What had happened?" Goldie asked.
"An express engine had broken down, and was stuck at the signal box. The train needed drawing forward to the next station. And I was the only engine available to do it. So I plucked up my courage and set forth into the snow, reaching the broken down train in minutes. The engine heading it was very glad to see me, but I soon realised I couldn't pull the entire train in one go. Instead, I moved it in bits to the station.
"The engine heading the train had previously been one who had mocked me, but he was very thankful, and apologised for his former rudeness. And I was happy to accept- holding grudges is unhealthy, after all."
"Seems saving other engines from things is your specialty," Goldie said, with a wry smile.
"Part of the job of being a crane tank," Harvey admitted. "Ah well, back to work. All this hot air won't put a dent in the cold."
"So, where's Veronica now?" Zipp asked. "If you don't mind me asking."
"She was dating at the time," Argyle said. "A guy called Harris. A nice fellow who was a perfect fit for her. Gradually I could sense her life was pulling in another direction to mine, and then one day she revealed to me they'd booked a date for the wedding."
"Did you go?" Zipp asked.
"As her brother I was basically obliged," Argyle said. "Besides, she'd been to mine. They did things rather differently, as I was Best Man and Harris apparently helped select the bridesmaids. I made sure to keep the speech short, but that was basically it. Not long after they moved away from here, and the wedding was the last time I saw her in person."
Sunny sighed. "It'd be great to meet up with her again and found out how she's getting on," she said. "Looking back over these photos has reminded me of a very happy time in my life."
Zipp got up. "Well, looking at the sky outside I'd best be heading home." It was starting to fall dark, and this usually meant more snow and frost. "Thanks for the help, Argyle."
"Never a problem, Zipp," Argyle said. "We'd best be getting this lot cleared up, Sunny."
Argyle retired to his study at the end of the day, and looked out to sea with a smile before shutting the curtains. He could have sworn for a moment that he had seen a familiar face in the skies before he closed the light out.
He lit the light, allowing the familiar light to glow and the smell of old paper to waft through. He then glanced to the phone he had on the desk. "You know, it can't hurt. I know it's not Sunday, but it seems to be too good an opportunity to pass up."
He dialled a number and held the handset to his ear, listening to the familiar dial tones.
Moments later, a familar voice spoke. "Argyle! It's been too long!"
Argyle smiled. "Hey, Veronica. I know this is a bit sudden, but is there any chance we could organise a family get together?"
Author's Note
This story combines the plotlines of Written in the Starscouts , an episode of the second season of Tell your Tale , and Yong Bao and the Tiger , an episode of Thomas and Friends . The title is taken from the lyrics of the song The Way we Were , originally recorded by Barbara Streisand in 1973.
The Hans Holbein remark is a reference to a rather controversial moment in art history. In 1540, Henry VIII intended to remarry following the death of Jane Seymour. He decided marrying Anne of Cleeves was the best option, and asked painter Hans Holbein to paint a portrait of her. The resulting painting bore relatively little resemblance to how Anne actually looked, which was a factor in the marriage only lasting six months. This phenomenon still happens; a stately home I once visited had a painting of a former owner whose painting was rather different to her real appearance.
Byker Hill is a coalmining song from northeast England. Byker Hill is a suburb of Newcastle, and the oldest known print version dates from 1812. A popular song with folk acts, the song as depicted her is based on the version recorded by The Longest Johns in 2023, where it is sung to the American tune 'Hebrew Children'.
Thomas and Friends: Tales from the Mainland Volume 4
Zipp first noticed something was up when a trampoline rolled past her, as trampolines normally do not. "Well that's something you don't see everyday," she said to herself.
And then even more things began rolling past. Deckchairs, signs, even a few ice creams floated past her. Who was eating ice cream at this time of year was something of a mystery, but Zipp brushed that thought aside.
"Excuse me?" asked a voice. Zipp glanced over to see a man looking at her.
"Yeah?"
"Have you seen a trampoline anywhere?"
Zipp indicated over her shoulder. "I saw one going bouncing that way."
The man nodded. "Did it have a child inside, by any chance?"
"No. Should it have?"
The man paused. "Potentially." He then continued on his way.
Zipp shook her head and continued to follow the objects as they bounced along. They all seemed to be going in the same direction and generally in a straight line. "So, that rules out wind," she said to herself. "Wind rarely blows anything in a perfecly straight line."
She rounded a bend and looked up into the sky, and what she saw shocked her. Open in the skies was an enormous cream rift, and things were being pulled into it. "This is not normal."
"Somebody is stealing all our things!" somebody said. "They've placed an enormous vacuum cleaner in the sky and are pulling things away from us!"
"But who? Or perhaps it's not somebody but something?" Zipp ventured.
"This has the handiwork of the Illuminati all over it!" the person replied.
Zipp sighed. "There's a distinct lack of ungirevel or cartchy tuns for it to be them. And a worrying lack of dipractions."
Suddenly, her phone buzzed, and she pulled it out to see the notification. Her WhatsApp was live, and a message was there from Sunny in the group chat.
Top floor of the lighthouse, quickly!
As well as a succession of replies from her friends.
GLITTER! GLITTER! Sorry, that was meant to go to Sir Rubbish!
On my way.
On my way!
HopefullyNotAPortal!
Zipp nodded, then placed her reply.
Might wanna hold onto something. This wind is pretty strong!
Upon arriving at Sunny's house, they all had to run to the top of the stairs as the lift was broken. Once at the top, they walked past the crystal chamber and out onto the balcony, which gave them a clear view of the problem.
"This is pretty bad!" Sunny said. "All of the objects around us are being sucked up and we have no idea why!"
Zipp pulled her goggles out and put them on. "There seems to be some sort of energy rift up there in that cloud," she said. "But where it goes I have no idea."
"It's been a while since you used those," Pipp said.
"I hadn't really needed them," Zipp replied. "Somebody down below suggested the Illuminati as being behind this, but I doubted it."
Hitch looked up. "The lack of Exarserdray lollipops is a bit of a giveaway."
"Way to revive an old meme!" Pipp said. "That was all over the internet last year."
"I mean, the jokes do write themselves," Hitch smiled.
"Wait a moment," Pipp said then. "I vaguely recall something like this from a bedtime story. Something about a big cloud that sucks things up and takes them back in time!"
"It may be an offshoot of the Magic Railway then," Misty said. "We know it allows for time travel as those cowboy engines arrived in our time, for example."
"Come on! Let's go and find out where this leads!" Zipp said, as she stepped forward. There seemed to be an energy beam forming on the top deck of the lighthouse, and without hesitating she stepped into it.
Sunny frowned. "You're just gonna step into a random beam which has no clear destination? Sure, why not!"
But they all did, and after a period of time they found themselves flying along a rainbow tunnel at great speed.
Zipp looked back. "Can anybody hear music?"
"I can!" Izzy said. "Seems like it's time for a musical interlude! That or the author needs to pad out the wordcount!"
Izzy, I would never do that.
Zipp led off.
"I see that twinkle in your eye!
"Zipp, the UK uses pounds," Sunny said.
"Pound doesn't scan properly!" Zipp protested.
Pipp cut in before anybody else could argue.
"So shiny, diamond-kind of fine!
Zipp then resumed her vocal line.
"I grab my buddies and away we go/
Then Pipp joined in.
"Higher, and higher, and higher!"
Pipp then switched to soloing duties.
"Different folks from around the world/
Before they reentered together.
"Brighter, and brighter, and brighter!"
Then the chorus arrived, and they all began to sing together in harmony.
"Magic, colorful moments/
The portal abruptly dropped them off in a room filled with machinery, which surrounded them on all levels. The room was lit by a set of oil lamps, and a large machine sat in the middle.
Sunny looked about. "This place looks familiar," she said. "I think I saw an illustration of it in a book once?"
"If this is a place Sunny knows, then maybe it's somewhere important?" Hitch ventured. "Which book precisely did you see it in?"
Sunny shrugged. "I can't remember. But I do remember the picture!"
Misty was looking at some drawings on a desk. "Well, there's some sorts of plans here. For something called a locomotive. But it's the strangest engine I've ever seen!"
Sunny walked over and looked at them. "Oh, that's the plans for the Coalbrookdale Locomotive," she replied.
"The what?" Pipp asked.
"It was the first engine designed by Richard Trevithick," Sunny started, but she trailed off when she realised the implications.
"Sunny?" Hitch asked.
Sunny glanced from the plans to the machine in the centre of the room, then back again. "We must have travelled through time!" she said. "Look at the year on the calender!"
"1802."
"That's the year given for its construction, but historians have debated whether an engine was actually built. But there it is, in front of us! This is proof the Coalbrookdale Locomotive actually existed!"
"I knew you're busy nerding out, but how do we get back to our own time?" Hitch asked.
"Maybe we need to fix something here?" Izzy suggested.
Misty peered closer at the strange engine. "Perhaps we need to complete it before we can return home!"
"Let's do it!" Sunny said.
And so, they got to work. And the song from earlier resumed.
"I got a magical mind!" Zipp started.
"I make my dreams come alive!" Pipp replied. "Well, technically this is the dream of a friend, but you know what I mean!"
The two sisters then dueted. "It's like I do it all the time!"
Before Pipp resumed solo vocal duties.
"No higher mountain I can't climb!
Before all of them sang together.
"Higher, and higher, and higher!"
"Different folks from around the world!
"Magic, colorful moments/
But with the passage of song, the last parts were fitted, and the engine was complete. Sunny glanced from the plans to the engine and back. "This looks pretty much like how the plans look," she said, casually wiping some grime off her fingers and onto a table.
"Hopefully we don't have to drive it now!" Pipp said. "I wouldn't have the first clue how to operate this thing!"
"That's a lot of levers," Hitch said. "And I thought Rebecca was complex to drive."
Suddenly, the vortex from earlier appeared again, and they all got sucked into it.
Once the vortex had vanished, a door opened and a man stepped in, stooping to avoid hitting his head on the doorframe. "So, once the machine is fin-"
He trailed off as he saw it.
"Is everything alright, Mr Trevithick?" asked another man, considerably shorter.
"Perfectly, Mr Derby," replied Richard Trevithick. "One of my oil lamps is in a slightly different position to how I left it, that's all. Here is the finished engine, ready for your company to use."
"Excellent!" Mr Derby replied. "Expect the full payment for your work in the next few weeks."
Trevithick was amazed, though. How had the machine been finished whilst he was out?
Sunny and her friends got deposited onto the ground near the Lighthouse. "Well, that was wild," Zipp said.
Sunny turned to her friends. "I can only sense that was the beginning, in both senses of the word. If we were taken back in time to fix the first steam engine, who knows if we'll encounter others?"
Little did she notice that on the table behind her a book was open. A book with a depiction of a very old engine indeed.
Author's Note
This chapter is an adaptation of the Tell your Tale episode Where the Rainbows are Made . It also incorporates elements from the Thunderbirds are Go episode Tunnels of Time .
As the inventor of the steam locomotive, Trevithick should need no introduction, but an astonishing number of people are unaware of his contributions to steam power. The son of a mining captain, Trevithick was a skilled engineer and focused his efforts on developing high pressure steam technology. Amongst his creations included the Puffing Devil (which blew up), the Horseless Carriage (which was retired after demolishing some railings in London), and the Coalbrookdale Locomotive (more on that below).
The Coakbrookdale Locomotive was designed to work at the Coalbrookdale Ironworks in Shropshire, but there is a debate amongst historians as to whether the engine was ever built. The plans, however, are used as a reference point for the later Penydarren locomotive, as no plans for the latter exist.
Thomas and Friends: Tales from the Mainland Volume 4
One morning, Bellerophon was working a rare passenger turn on the Maritime Line. It wasn't hugely often he pulled passengers, as he was designed to predominantly work freight and shunt in sidings, but he was fitted with vacuum braking should he be needed to pull passengers.
"This is more relaxed than the last time we did this," Bellerophon said cheerfully. "At least I've got my old coat of paint!"
Misty nodded in agreement, letting some of her hair fall downwards. "And I don't look like an explosion in a paint factory!"
Bellerophon laughed. "As much as the passengers may have enjoyed the thought of a new engine, I quite enjoy being painted brown. Gives me a strong sense of comfort and continuity with the past."
As is standard procedure on UK railways, Bellerophon had been refitted to work with coaches and the emergency stop system. Every carriage on the Maritime Line is fitted with a cord that is linked to the brakes. When the chord is pulled, the brakes are applied and the train comes to a stop. However, passengers must not use the cord unless it is in a genuine emergency. If they do not, they risk putting other people in danger- as well as a very large fine of up to £1,000! (About $1250.)
As they rolled into Truro and stopped, the pair observed the passengers getting on and off. Bellerophon noticed one woman approaching. "She might want to take that hat off!" he said. "There's no way that'll fit through the doorframe!"
Misty uncoupled Bellerophon and looked at a group of approaching teenagers nervously. "That's not good," she said. "Lady Haven once told me a story about how an unruly boy meddled with Ray's controls, and another caused an accident down in Lighthouse Quarry not too long ago."
"Hopefully they won't get up to any nonsense," Bellerophon said, as Misty climbed back up and removed the lamp. "The railway does take unruly behaviour very seriously."
As Misty ran Bellerophon round the train, a very strange looking man appeared. He appeared to be dressed in a suit made entirely from foliage and leaves, and had a pair of binoculars around his neck. He stepped into one of the compartments and closed the door behind him, not noticing other passengers staring at him over his bizarre attire.
Bellerophon was now around the other end of the train, so Misty hooked him up, connected the vacuum brake pipes, then performed a brake check to ensure all was well. "Good to go!" she said.
Eventually, departure time arrived, and the station master blew his whistle and waved his green flag. "RIGHT AWAY!"
Sure enough, they were soon on their way. As they travelled down the line, Bellerophon noticed something very peculiar. "There's a man who's dressed like a forest onboard," he said.
"That is strange," Misty said. "What's he doing?"
"He's getting on and off at every station," Bellerophon said. "He got off at Perranwell, and now he's getting off at Penrhyn as well! Whatever is he doing?"
"Maybe he works for the railway?" Misty suggested.
"Dressed like that?" Bellerophon asked. "I doubt it. Besides, he's always looking through a pair of binoculars at the trees."
Sure enough, the strangely dressed man got back onboard, looking rather disappointed.
A few moments later, the line cleared as Sophie rumbled in with a goods train. "Remember we don't call at Penmere outside of rush hour unless as a request stop!" she said.
"Got it!" Bellerophon replied.
As he approached Penmere, it happened. Outside of rush hour, which is early morning or early evening, passenger trains do not usually call at Penmere. If a passenger wishes to join the train outside of these hours, they must push a button on the station building, which illuminates a light on a board next to the track. This informs the driver that a passenger wishes to board. Alternatively, a passenger can push a button in the carriages, which causes a light in the cab to light up.
As Bellerophon approached Penmere, he saw the request stop light wasn't lit. "Nobody wanting to board!" he said.
"And no request stop light either," Misty said. "We can run straight through!"
But as they exited the station, it happened. Suddenly, the emergency brakes came on!
Bellerophon looked about in confusion as the brakes brought the train to a stop. "What the?" he asked.
"There must be an emergency!" Misty said, and she hopped down from the cab to start checking the coaches. It was standard policy for the driver to work from the front of the train whilst the guard worked from the back. That way, they could check the entire train in half the time.
Sure enough, Misty found the man in the strange clothing standing next to the emergency cord. "Did somebody pull the emergency cord?" she asked.
The man in the strange attire looked very sorry. "I pulled the cable," he said. "I hadn't realised the train didn't stop at Penmere."
It was not often that Misty looked annoyed, but she most certainly was doing her best impression of a lobster right now. "Missing a stop, booked or not, is not a valid reason for pulling the emergency cord," she said, sounding rather unimpressed. "It has to be a legitimate emergency, hence why 'emergency' is in the name of the object. I'll let the guard deal with this."
Once the guard gave them clearance to proceed, they were off on their way again. Behind them, the front coach was making an odd clattering noise.
"Sounds like a coach has developed a wheel flat," Misty said. "That'll be uncomfortable and noisy for anybody sat near the front."
Unfortunately, there wasn't any time to shunt it out of the train at Falmouth- Bellerophon was rather keen to get back on time, so passengers would just have to put up with it for the rest of the day. Both he and Misty were quite annoyed with the strange man. Thanks to him, they were now running late- and safe to say he wasn't hugely popular with the other passengers either.
The next day, Bellerophon was out on duty again with passengers. As he approached Penmere, he noticed the request stop light was illuminated. And the sole person standing on the platform was the strange man!
"Well I'm not stopping for him!" Bellerophon said, and simply blew steam at him.
"We have to stop if the light is illuminated!" Misty said.
"You can always say you didn't see the light," Bellerophon replied.
As they rolled into the platform, suddenly the brakes came on- again! The train screeched to a halt in the platform.
"Oh, not again," Misty said. She checked about the cab. The request stop light wasn't illuminated, so there can't have been a passenger wanting to alight. And it couldn't have been the strange man, as he was still standing on the platform!
The guard got out to check up the train, as did Misty. They soon found the culprit- the woman in the silly hat. "That was my stop there!" she snapped at the guard. "I need to get off the train!"
"Then why didn't you push the request stop light?" the guard asked.
"What do you mean?"
"This station is a request stop outside of peak hours. If you want to get off there's a button you can push to let the driver know you wish to alight."
The woman looked very embarrassed. "Oh," she said. "I'd assumed the train stopped here all the time. Sorry."
Whilst she'd been talking to the guard, the man with the strange suit got on. And sure enough they were soon on their way again. Upon arrival at Penrhyn, there was a crowd of annoyed passengers.
"Late again?" said one to Bellerophon. "Honestly, this is the sort of service I expect from Southern, not the Maritime Line!"
"Or Avanti," said another, also looking cross.
"Request stop," Misty explained. "People needed to get off at Penmere."
The passengers still boarded, grumbling all the while.
Once at Truro, the man with the strange suit came to speak to them. "Sorry for all the trouble I've caused," he said. "I've paid the fine, but I know that's probably not much consolation with all the lost time."
Bellerophon sighed. "As long as you promise to never do it again," he said. "But may I ask why you're dressed so oddly?"
The man laughed. "Oh! This stuff? I'm a birdwatcher. This is called a ghilli suit. It allows me to blend in with the terrain and watch birds without birds noticing me. It's very useful." He looked down again. "And that was part of the reason I pulled the emergency cord in the first place- I had heard the song of a very rare bird, and wanted to see it. I hadn't realised that Penmere was a request stop at this time of day."
"Well, consider this water under the bridge," Misty said. "Good luck with finding the bird!"
And so, as they say, all's well that ends well.
Author's Note
This chapter is an adaption of Thomas and the Emergency Cable , an episode from the 18th Season of Thomas and Friends. The title is derived from the wording often seen next to emergency stop cords.
The light policy at Penmere is based on RhB practice. To avoid risk to passengers by needing to wave flags and suchlike, request stops have buttons fitted to them which illuminate a light next to the track. This tells the driver they need to stop. Similarly, passengers can push a button in the passenger compartment to inform the driver they wish to alight.
Wheel flats occur when a rail wheel stops rotating when the train is in motion. Usually a consequence of emergency braking or poor adhesion, rolling stock with wheel flats produce a distinct bumping noise as they move along.
The episode this is based on does not depict wheel flats accurately; a wheel flat will not completely immobilise a piece of rolling stock, as the above video demonstrates.
Finally, I want to take this opportunity to point out the dangers of improper use of emergency cords. In France, a serious crash occurred in 1988 which was partly a consequence of improper use of emergency cords. So, I implore you to never misuse them, as you never know fully what could occur as a result of your actions.
Thomas and Friends: Tales from the Mainland Volume 4
Pipp leaped out of bed, and grabbed her phone. "Good morning Pippsqueaks! Hope you're having an awesome morning! I'm pretty pumped, and with the grand concert coming up, not to mention better weather, we all have reasons to be outdoors and looking fabulous! And I'm proud to debut something I've been working on!"
She popped into her closet, and emerged a few minutes later, wearing a pink ballgown with a puffy skirt, an elaborate pattern of embroidery running across the dome of the skirt, flower patterns locking the fabric together, a low cut bodice, and pink evening gloves.
"And this is the new look I'll be debuting at the banquet later this week!" she smiled. "Got it commissioned from my favourite dressmaker, Rarity! Now, I know it looks heavy, but the crinoline is pretty light on the hips!" She shifted from side to side to demonstrate. "Makes singing easy too!"
To demonstrate, she grabbed her microphone and set a backing track going. "This is my newest song, from me to you!"
Everybody needs a good friend/
"Bright sky, fly-high!
"I'm livin' my bestie life/
Pipp's singing was suddenly interrupted by the door. Zipp had opened it. "Pipp, could you keep it down? I'm trying to focus on mom's notes and..." She trailed off as she looked. "Erm, Pipp, what are you wearing?"
Pipp looked over. "It's the new dress I'll be debuting at the Banquet!"
Zipp frowned. "You look like an iced cake."
Pipp frowned in return. "Nothing nice to say to your little sis?"
"I'm only older than you by a few minutes," Zipp replied. "And suit yourself, princess."
"You look cute in a crinoline!" Pipp answered.
"Your opinion, not mine. Why anybody would willingly wear those things is beyond me." Zipp paused. "Hang on, I hear mom calling."
Zipp stumbled down the corridor, following Lady Haven. The latter was busy giving instructions down a phone.
"And I'm certain if we move these elements around it would improve the overall look of the Great Hall..."
Zipp leaned over. "Coffee, Wadsworth. Black. With plenty of caffeine."
"Understood, your ladyship."
"Zipp. Call me Zipp."
Up ahead, Lady Haven finished her phone call. "I'd forgotten how serious this business is to be honest. After all, dinners don't plan themselves."
She then spotted Zipp drinking coffee. "That's rather strong. I can smell it from here!"
"I am seriously sleep deprived," Zipp groaned. "I didn't sleep very well last night and then Pipp started playing loud music."
"Make sure to get an early night tonight," Lady Haven said, as they descended the Grand Staircase and entered into the Great Hall. The room was stuffed to the brim with tables. Seats galore stretched as far as the eye could see, and tables covered in all sorts of objects sat nearby. Strange domed things sat in place, ready to be loaded with food. "Of course, the last time we hosted this you two hadn't even been born! I had to be excused from most of it, leaving Robert to handle most of proceedings- as it turns out, formal dinners and being heavily pregnant don't really mix."
"What is all this stuff?" Zipp asked. "And remind me what we're doing here again?"
Lady Haven stopped, as she'd been speaking to nobody in particular. "There is a tradition," she said, "of the different Dukedoms hosting a Charity Dinner in aid of wounded servicemen. This was started after World War One, as we felt that those who had served our country now needed our help in return. After all, had they not been there we'd probably be having this conversation in German. But anyway, given the sheer number of guests this is a logistics nightmare, which is why I wanted you to observe proceedings. There will come a day when you are the one running this, so it is important you understand precisely how these things are run and managed." She paused. "Part of that is engaging in small talk with guests, so I was thinking it would be a good idea to have a practice."
Zipp looked over as several members of household staff approached.
"Pretend that they are guests." Lady Haven looked over. "Maestro, some music please!"
Zipp took a seat as some nondescript classical music echoed from a piano.
Meanwhile, Pipp was now at a theatre, setting up a show. As part of their residence in Falmouth, the Havens had funded the construction of a new, elaborate theatre to replace the old one (which Sprout had pulled down during his time in power). Inside the vast, cavernous building, people were running about.
"Microphone, check!" shouted a voice.
"Sound test for guitar!" shouted another, which was promptly followed by power chords.
Pipp sat at the side of the stage and looked down. "I wish you were here, Zipp."
"What's wrong?" Izzy asked.
"Zipp said she'd be here for the rehearsal, but I can't see her anywhere!" Pipp said.
"Maybe she's running late," Sunny said, trying to reassure her friend. "After all we've been through it's be weird for her to leave us in the lurch. Besides, the concert tomorrow isn't about Zipp. It's to support the charity fundraising. And performing live for all those people- icing on the cake!"
Pipp nodded. "Hey, thanks Sunny. Let's get this show on the road!" She strode forward to the microphone and moved it down slightly. "Whoever was last using it was clearly taller than me." She raised a hand. "We good to go?"
"Sure thing!" shouted a backup musician.
"We'll open the set with an old classic," Pipp said.
"Just got here!" Hitch called. "I've got backing vocals on this one, from memory!"
The music began to flow into the room, and sure enough Pipp led off.
"The colours of these plants clash horribly," Zipp said. "That's our table, right?"
"Yes," Lady Haven said. "What's the issue?"
"For formal events you usually wear red. Pipp's planning on wearing pink, and I'm normally in blue. We'll need colours that complement our clothing, not clash with them."
"Clearly talking to Mr Starshine is rubbing off on you," Lady Haven smiled.
"Open my eyes, the sun is smiling down on me/
Izzy then joined in.
"Ready for anything, yeah!"
Pipp sang on her own. "Let's go!"
Hitch then joined in.
"With all the friends that we lo-ove!"
Pipp resumed lead vocals duty as Izzy and Hitch sang backing vocals.
"It's a new day, a magical morning!
"Calling everybody, you know who you are!
Pipp resumed lead vocals as the backing dropped away.
"I didn't know the Duke of Norfolk was coming," Zipp said.
"All the non-Royal Dukes are attending," Lady Haven said. "As many of them are former soldiers or Honorary Colonels it only makes sense for them to attend such a fundraiser. Now then, shall we take it from the top?" She pointed to a herald.
"Duke of Richmond and Lennox."
"Very good!"
"It's a delight, this bestie life is all we need!
Pipp and Izzy then sang together.
"Ready for anything, yeah!"
Hitch then switched out for Izzy on the backing vocals.
"Let's go!
Before the prior arrangement resumed, with Pipp on lead and everybody else on backing vocals.
"It's a new day, a magical morning!
"Calling everybody, you know who you are!
"It's a magical life!
"It's a new day!" Pipp finished on her own, as the notes faded out.
The test crowd cheered and clapped as Pipp stepped back from the mic. "So, how did that sound guys?"
Suddenly, an enormous banner fell from the ceiling, narrowly avoiding hitting her.
"I will never understand why you use that synth garbage."
Pipp looked over as a man walked onto the stage. He had greyish skin, blue short hair, and purplish eyes, with a pair of red glasses sitting on top of his head. He wore a pair of jeans and a dark blue hoodie.
"Oh, hello Carotang!" she said, trying to force a smile.
"Who's this guy?" Izzy asked.
"I invited him to perform at the Charity Dinner," Pipp explained. "He often makes big entrances."
"You bet I do," Carotang said, a strong hint of a Mancunian accent.
Pipp sighed. "I know I said I'd help you advertise your new album, but I don't think a Charity Concert is really the right place. You know, one designed to help people less fortunate than ourselves."
"You don't have to advertise yourself," Carotang said, dismissively. "The event is being held in your house, after all. And what would you know about the struggles of those lower down the food chain?"
"What's that supposed to mean?" Pipp asked.
"Your mam is one of the wealthiest people in the country. You were born in the lap of luxury, and have access to social links most of us can only dream of. You were born in the spotlight. Your foot was already wedged in the door. I had to get my foot in the door then prove I belonged there."
"You're a millionaire," Pipp pointed out.
"But I earned every single one of those millions working," Carotang replied. "I didn't inherit it through accident of birth. Anyway, I need to practice my set. See you. Oh, and by the way, don't wear that dress tomorrow. It makes you look fat."
Pipp walked away, hoping to get away from his voice- only to discover he had filled every conceivable space in the lobby with posters for his show. "He is utterly full of himself," she sighed, suddenly noticing that even the plaque that thanked the Havens for their donation for the building's construction was covered in them. She pulled them off and dumped them in the bin. "Consider the deal off, Caroting. You've lost yourself a very influential follower."
"Today is gonna be the day/
Pipp walked into the room and sighed. "Really, Zipp?" she asked. "Must you listen to Oasis now of all times?"
"The remaster's really good!" Zipp protested.
"Given Carotang's insisting on performing that Britpop crap I really don't need to hear it now. Seriously, even Misty was listening to one of his covers!"
Zipp looked over. "He's here?"
"Yeah. He was at the rehearsal." Pipp flopped in the chair. "Stole the show. Made jokes about my weight- again. I don't need constant reminders I used to be overweight."
Zipp's face fell. "The rehearsal? Pipp, I'm so sorry, I forgot. Got lost in all the paperwork."
Pipp sighed. "No big deal. It's not as if supporting your little sister is a big deal or anything."
"I've had a lot to do here!" Zipp protested. "I lost track of time, and-"
"You don't need to tell me ad nauseam how stressed you are."
"I'm not!"
Pipp moved the chair forward. "All you do is put some flowers around and see hello to fellow nobility whilst counting down the hours till you can take a frock off. Easy for me- except for the whole taking the frock off bit."
"I thought you loved these events!" Zipp said. "You get to wear a puffy dress without it looking odd!"
"Luckily for you, I'm going to ignore that," Pipp replied. "Maybe put a bit more work into this stuff?"
"I don't enjoy doing it," Zipp answered. "I don't like the thought that one day mom won't be here. Besides, I've heard your songs loads of times."
"I'm entirely performing new material tomorrow." Pipp got up. "Performing is way harder than it looks. Only when you've done it outside of the songs that seem to come from nowhere will you really understand. Good day." With that, Pipp stormed off.
Zipp sighed. "Best I just leave her to vent."
Pipp was doing her best impression of a lobster, as her face had gone red. "Oh, no doubt her curtsies will be perfect. The flowers will be lovely. And no doubt Carotang will spend the whole evening pretending he's Liam Gallagher. Those sunglasses look stupid on his face."
Pipp wasn't watching where she was going, but she was too angry to care. As a result, she tripped on a rock and hit the floor. "Ow! Who left that there?!"
"I did," said a voice. Pipp suddenly saw a small nymph floating on front of her. "My name is Milky Way, and I am here to help you."
"So, you're kinda like a Fairy Godmother?" Pipp asked.
"Not really. You're not exactly in Cinderella's situation." The spirit stopped. "But enough about me. I only appear to those in need. And I can tell you're hurting."
Pipp sighed. "Yeah. I guess I am. I had a practice for a concert today, and my sister didn't show up. She then dismissed what I do as easy. I know I make it look easy, but it's actually really stressful trying to fit everything in." She looked out to sea as she saw the sun set into the ocean. "Sometimes... I just want Zipp to respect what I do as a performer."
Milky Way nodded. "I know the feeling. I'm something of an outcast amongst my own people."
"Pipp! Dinner!"
"Coming!" Pipp called. "Hopefully chat with you later!"
Milky Way laughed as she looked up at the sky. "Oh, you'll be seeing plenty of me, Pipp Petals."
The next morning dawned, and Pipp groaned as she sat up. "I must've slept awkwardly last ni..."
She trailed off. Was she coming down with something? Her voice wasn't usually this deep.
Come to think of it, why was she in Zipp's bedroom?
She got out of bed and stumbled into the bathroom, her balance feeling all wrong. She could not afford to be ill, not now!
She found a mirror and switched the light on. Pipp's eyes widened in shock.
Zipp's face stared back.
Pipp screamed.
Author's Note
This chapter is an adaptation of the sixteenth G5 Comic, which is the first part of a narrative miniseries focusing on Pipp and Zipp's relationship. As I personally find them fun to write, a story focusing on them was a no-brainer (not to mention the comic's very inventive premise).
Pipp's dress is based on this piece of fanart:
Given how Pipp often acts like a stereotypical princess, the fan-artists have quite a bit of fun sticking her EqG counterpart into puffy gowns. Pipp performing in such a dress is actually not too far removed from popstar reality, if some of the outfits worn by Taylor Swift or Kelly Clarkson are anything to go by.
The song Pipp performs in the concert scene is New Day. This song was released on the fifth volume of songs from Tell your Tale, but the context in which it was originally going to appear is unknown as the episode it would have appeared in was scrapped.
Carotang (the pony on the left) is a new character created specially for the comics. His design appears to be loosely inspired by Liam Gallagher, the frontman of Oasis from 1991 to 2009. As a result, I have decided to give him a Mancunian accent (hence the use of the word 'mam'), as this is where Oasis are from.
And finally... Pipp seems to found herself in a strange predicament. Whilst the original comic has them switching jobs, I chose to go for a bodyswap a la Freaky Friday based on a comment Thomlight Sparkle 1 left on my adaption of A Little Horse :
Voice swapping? Man, imagine if they switched bodies.
Over the next four days or so, we shall be exploring this exact premise.
Thomas and Friends: Tales from the Mainland Volume 4
Pipp tried her best to make her way down the corridor to the correct bedroom, but walking was proving to be more difficult than she thought. The proportions were all wrong- longer legs, a different gait- and she was fearful she was going to fall over.
She had to find Zipp and figure out what in the world had happened. She could confirm she hadn't simply been changed into her sister- after all, she had woken up in the wrong bedroom, suggesting something else was going on.
Just then, she saw what would have been Pipp. Looking at herself was certainly an incredibly surreal experience, but she seemed to trip on something and fell straight onto the other person.
"Hey! Watch it!" she said, fully aware of the fact her words were coming out of her mouth in Zipp's voice.
"You try walking in a straight line when you've been plopped in somebody else's body!" the other person replied.
This made Pipp stop. That did sound like something Zipp would say, so she decided to do a test. "What's the passcode on the library door?"
"05052007."
This was something Zipp would definitely know, so Pipp slowly pulled herself up to her feet.
"Careful in there."
"Urgh! I'm still getting use to it, sis! Honestly, don't overdrama!"
Zipp snorted. "That sounds so weird in your voice. I mean, my voice. I mean-"
"I know what you mean," Pipp said. "So, you're in my body and I'm in yours, it seems. You're the popstar now and I'm the older sibling."
"Only by a few minutes."
"Good thing for you I wasn't planning on bossing you around," Pipp sighed. "Look, can you do the dance moves?"
"Problem is, I learned them for a somewhat leaner form."
"Hey! I heard that!"
"You've got a different body shape to me! I'm still getting used to that."
Pipp scowled. "I did not spend years building my fanbase just to lose it overnight."
Zipp sighed. "This is so confusing, but simple at the same time. We need to figure out how this happened, given we know the what, and how we'll move forward."
"I can't think of anything in nature that would cause a bodyswap," Pipp admitted. "Possibly some form of magic is involved?"
"Well, we haven't run into anything magical in a few days," Zipp said. "Have you, Pipp?"
Pipp froze.
Zipp narrowed her eyes and scowled, the gesture looking absolutely ridiculous on Pipp's face. "You froze. Either you know something I don't or you're withholding information."
"Have you ever heard of the concept of personal space?" Pipp asked.
Zipp planted both of her arms on the opposite sides of Pipp, trying to prevent her escape. "Spill the beans, now, or I'll-"
Pipp calmly pushed her backwards, smirking at the look of shock on Zipp's face. "Hey, being the stronger sibling is really handy. I can push you around!"
"You still haven't answered my question," Zipp said. "Start talking or I'll throw your bubble bath mixture out of the window."
Pipp sighed. "You're such a jerk sometimes, you know that? Anyway, I was outdoors yesterday and talked with this nymph thing called Milky Way, and she offered to help me with my problems. So, I said I was stressed about stuff and said I wanted Zipp to understand what I go through as a performer. It wasn't as if I wished for anything!"
Zipp blinked. "Remember how mom used to read us fairy tales?" she said.
"Yeah?"
"What's the common theme when it comes to people making and being granted wishes?"
Pipp thought for a second, then it hit her. "I'm such an idiot!"
"Wishes must be worded extremely precisely, as spirits that grant them have a long history of loophole abuse. Given you never specified precisely how you wanted me to understand what you go through as a performer, this Milky Way person thing could have easily interpreted that any way they wanted!"
"Even though I never used the word wish?"
"I somehow suspect the spirit doesn't respect the semantic differences between the two words." Zipp looked annoyed. "Face it; whether you intended to or not, you made a wish, and it seems we're now stuck like this. As if I didn't already have enough on my plate, I'm now going to have to pretend to be you for the day."
"Why not just tell mom what happened?" Pipp suggested.
"We can't!" Zipp said, a note of desperation and fear entering her voice. "If we tell her, she'll think we've both gone crazy!"
"Who's gone crazy?" asked a voice. The two sisters looked down the corridor and saw Sunny walking towards them.
"Act normally," Pipp said. The two siblings then stood completely rigid, grinning like idiots.
Sunny just looked confused. "Is there a joke I'm missing?"
Pipp started to walk over- then fell over. "Ow! Still not used to these long legs!"
Zipp looked over. "Meet us after coffee. Pipp, do you have any jeans? No way am I spending the entire day in a skirt."
Pipp's eyes went wide with horror when she realised what Zipp was hinting at. Not only had they switched bodies, they'd need to wear each other's wardrobes the entire day.
Sunny listened patiently whilst the two sisters explained what happened. "Wow," she said. "Of all the things we've been through, this certainly takes the biscuit for one of the craziest."
"I know, right?" Zipp said, trying to text. She was fidgeting awkwardly, which Pipp suspested was from being unused to the sorts of fabrics she preferred.
Sunny raised an eyebrow. "You know Pipp texts with her thumbs, right?"
"This is harder than I thought."
"But no matter what happens," Sunny continued, "we'll be here for you, no matter what. I'll do some research into wish granting nymphs, and hopefully we can fix this mess."
Zipp then had an idea. "Why not wish for this to be undone?" she said.
"I'll give it a go," Sunny said. "I wish for all of this to be undone, and for my friend's lives to go back to normal."
Nothing happened.
"That was anticlimactic," Pipp said.
"Maybe it's time we went searching," Zipp suggested."
So they searched hither and thither, all across Falmouth. They looked down streets, inside trucks, and within the shed (Charles was very confused when Pipp started climbing up his cab steps). They searched inside buildings, and on top of them, and even under objects.
By the time Eleven rolled around, everybody was frustrated. "No luck," Zipp said. "What a waste of three hours."
"And it's Elevenses too!" Pipp protested. "I can't go on without a cup of tea!"
"No way," Zipp said. "I'm not having you stuffing my face and ruining my figure."
"Seriously? You're talking like me now." Pipp suddenly heard loud buzzing from Zipp's pocket. "You might want to check Bestie."
Zipp pulled the phone out of her pocket and fiddled with it. "What's the PIN?"
Pipp took the phone. "It's got thumbprint recognition. Get with the times, Zipp!"
She pressed Zipp's thumb onto the pad, and the device unlocked. Pipp's eyes widened in horror. "You have two thousand notificiations?!" she asked. "Zipp, you need to post a status video right now, or else everybody will start asking questions!"
"How do I do that?"
Pipp calmly swiped through the apps and selected her favoured streaming app, before clicking the button. "You're live."
Zipp looked at the device. "Uh, hey Pippsqueaks! Totally rad day we're having, huh? I'm totally at the seafront preparing for tonight's performance. Hashtag fun! See you tonight!"
Pipp stopped the device. "Well, that was a disaster." Her suspicions were proven when a barrage of messages asking whether Pipp was feeling OK appeared.
"Well, what was I supposed to do?" Zipp snapped. "I have no idea how you speak."
"This has to be the weirdest conversation in the history of weirdest conversations," Pipp sighed. "Next time, don't use a smile that looks like you're being held hostage."
"This is ridiculous," Zipp moaned.
"Oh, here we go again, you thinking what I do is ridiculous."
"I'm just really stressed and would kinda like my body back. Not a big ask!"
Sunny suddenly spotted a shimmering light as Pipp and Zipp bickered. Near a plant pot, she spotted a strange yellow thing looking through a pair of binoculars. "This is more entertaining than the time that Spam Can derailed in the yard!" she said.
"Watching people fight is not entertainment," Sunny said, catching the creature's attention. "Especially given you started this whole mess."
"I'm not the villain here," Milky Way replied, completely unphased. "And technically speaking, I didn't start the mess. Pipp did. She wished for this! I'm only trying to help. After all, her wish was for Zipp to understand her."
"You lie!" Pipp said, as she stormed over. Her face had gone red and she looked as though she was about to strangle somebody. "You tricked me into telling you my story and then swapped us over. I never used the word 'wish'! And that's not what I said! I never wished for me and Zipp to switch bodies!
Milky Way smiled, the smile of somebody who enjoyed being incredibly perdantic. "In context, 'want' and 'wish' basically mean the same thing. But you said, and I quote, 'I want Zipp to respect what I do as a performer'. The only way she'll be able to do that is walk a mile in your shoes. And as two people cannot be in the same body at once, I had to move you into Zipp's body. Besides, you never said you didn't want me to swap you over."
Sunny rolled her eyes. "Great. So we're dealing with that kind of spirit."
"What kind?"
"The one that exploits loophole abuse."
Zipp entered an unreasoning rage. "CHANGE US BACK NOW, OR I'LL-"
"Or you'll what?" Milky Way said, smirking. "You can't hurt me, even in that pile of lard you're occupying. I'm immortal. And not only that, I'm afraid that's not how it works. For the effects to be reversed, the wish must come true. Pipp, you wanted Zipp to respect what I do as a performer. That means she will have to."
"It's not just about us!" Pipp protested. "There's an important charity event happening tonight we're both appearing at, and if it goes wrong it'll be a disaster!"
"Maybe you should have thought of that before making a wish, eh?" Milky Way laughed. "The resulting chaos is going to be so worth it!" With a puff of magic, the nymph vanished.
Back at Falmouth Manor, Pipp sat in a chair and sighed. "What a mess," she said.
"You can say that again," Zipp replied. "Stuck in opposite lives, no clue how to move forward- this is crazy."
Pipp groaned. "Now I'll need to get up to speed on the whole dinner thing. Pass me mom's notes?"
The book slammed into her at incredible speed. "Hey! No need to throw things!"
"You got us in this mess."
Pipp scowled. "Technically, you did by skipping the rehearsal."
"Oh, don't start all that again," Zipp snarled. "We've kinda got bigger things to worry about."
Pipp put her head in her hands. "Sorry. I'm just so stressed right now. My fans are out there with absolutely no clue what's going on. What is going to happen to us?"
"Sunny says she's going to try and find a solution," Zipp replied. "But in the meantime, I think we'll just have to pretend to be each other as best we can."
"How are we going to pull that off?" Pipp asked. "You don't know the words to my songs!"
"Easy! I'll read them off a teleprompter."
"But what about the choreography?"
"Oh, I'll make something up. You'd best be studying those notes. Oh, for the party do you have any ballgowns that are less, you know, girly?"
Pipp looked horrified. "I promised my fans I'd debut the new one today!"
Zipp smirked. "Looks like I'll be telling my fans there's been a change of plans." She then left the room.
Pipp put her head in her hands again. "How much more can go wrong today?"
Author's Note
This story is an adaptation of G5 Comic #17, which is a continuation of the plot of Issue #16. Of the comics thus far, this is the straightest adaptation, although a subplot has been jettisoned in order to streamline the plot. Izzy and Hitch's roles in the story have also been given to Sunny, as although the comics are overall very good the later ones did suffer from character bloat.
How are things going to go for the sisters, now they have to pretend to be each other? Find out more tomorrow!
Thomas and Friends: Tales from the Mainland Volume 4
The Fire in Your Heart is Out
Pipp had no clue there was so much to do for this event.
She sat there, with a member of staff holding two different pieces of soap in front of her. "Which of these two soaps do you prefer?" she asked.
Pipp looked at both of them. "I'd go with the Blue one," she said.
"Curious," Lady Haven said. "You normally pick the odourless ones."
"Fancied a bit of variety for the guests! #SpiceofLife!"
Lady Haven shook her head. "Zipp, are you feeling alright?"
"Never felt better!" Pipp said, realising she'd slipped.
Lady Haven nodded. "Well, if you say so. Next item, please!"
Zipp looked down at the teleprompter, squinting. "I can barely read this!" she said.
"What's wrong?" Sunny asked.
"For some reason I can't focus on the text," Zipp complained. "It's borderline illegible. How does Pipp cope?"
"You do know Pipp wears contact lenses, right?" Sunny reminded her.
"Oh. I'd forgotten that. Looks like I'll be needing to make the text bigger." Zipp pushed a few buttons on the display.
Sunny facepalmed. "The teleprompter is only meant as a backup should the singer lose their place in the song."
"I just selected the soap I liked the look of!" Pipp protested.
"These are for the downstairs bathrooms. The one you picked earlier are for the bathrooms on the First Floor."
"That's second floor to Americans," Pipp helpfully clarified.
"Can we resist the urge to fourth wall break for a bit?" Lady Haven asked. "We have rather a lot to sort out."
"Open my eyes, the sun is smiling down on me/
Izzy then joined in.
"Ready for anything, yeah!" She then looked in concern. "You're supposed to shout 'let's go'!"
Zipp yelled the words, horribly out of tune. "Let's go!"
Hitch then joined in.
"With all the friends that we lo-ove!"
Zipp resumed lead vocals duty as Izzy and Hitch sang backing vocals.
"It's a new day, a magical morning!
Zipp was visibly puffing and panting from making up choreography and trying to sing at the same time, and as a result in the second half of the chorus fell half a beat behind everybody else.
"Calling everybody, you know who you are!
Sunny looked over. "Look out!"
Zipp then tripped on some wires, and slammed into the floor. "Oww."
Sunny ran over to pull her up. "Are you OK?" she asked.
"Could be better," Zipp groaned, as she pushed herself up. "And there was no mattress for me to fall onto. So, how'd the performance go?"
"You got most of the words right!" Izzy said. "Though I don't think trying to read them off a teleprompter, sing, and dance at the same time is a good idea."
"This really is harder than it looks," Zipp grumbled.
"Nobody's perfect on their first try," Sunny said. "I know the circumstances aren't ideal, but it'll take time and patience to get it right."
"With the concert being tonight, I can't afford to take it slow, or else we'll make the family look stupid!" Zipp said. "Honestly, why couldn't Pipp have just kept her mouth shut?"
"Why not try rehearsing to an audience?" Izzy suggested. "That'll give you a better feel for how it'll go rather than singing to an empty room."
"Good idea!" Zipp said, and took the phone out.
"Other thumb."
"Oh. Gotcha!" Zipp clicked on the app Pipp had shown her and started a stream. "Good afternoon, Pippsqueaks! I know you're just so excited to hear my performance, but I'm kinda in a jelly right now. I mean jam, whatevs. I could totes use an audience for a rehearsal, so if you wanna pop down to the Falmouth Theatre, go ahead!" She then ended the stream. "How did I do?"
"You're getting better at the teen slang," Sunny said.
"How much soap do we have to choose?" Pipp asked.
"Just two more sets of bathrooms to go, according to my chart," Lady Haven said. "I know this is frightfully boring, but it shall all be worth it in the end."
Pipp looked with a quizzical eye. "You find this dull?"
Lady Haven put her arm around Pipp, though thinking it was Zipp. "Having to wade through countless emails and deal with thousands of invoices every day is hardly what anybody would call exciting, Zipp. But they are tasks that must be done for everything else to come together. That's why I get up so early- to get as much as it done as I can so I can take solace and find value in the little things and the time I spend with you and your sister. Because seeing your smiling faces and learning about your days makes it all worth it. And I do understand how dull this is- I was quite like you when I was your age."
"Really? You've always seemed like a Queen?"
"That's very kind of you, but every story has to start somewhere." Suddenly, a bell rang, and Lady Haven looked over. "Ah, a telegram!" She read it, and sighed. "Trouble in the yard, it seems. Nigel has broken down and they need another engine there. I'll take Ray there immediately. Good luck, Zipp!"
"Thanks mom!" Pipp replied, and smiled as her mother exited. "Let's make things more exciting!" She turned to the assembled staff. "Choosing all this soap is SUPER boring, amiright? So let's make things more fun, as if everybody feels appreciated and understood, they'll be happy."
Wadsworth leaned over to another member of staff. "I can't help but feel she's somewhat missing the point of the exercise, Parker."
"So, I suggest we let everybody vote on what should be in there! I'll just send out a mess- wait a moment, where are all my contacts?"
The household staff just looked at Pipp, utterly confused.
"Looks like we'll be guessing what people will want."
Nobody had shown up to the theatre- which was a bit weird. Zipp looked in confusion. "Where is everybody?" she asked. "Wouldn't they be turning out in droves normally?"
"I have no clue," Izzy said. "Perhaps they're busy?"
Zipp stepped outside to see some people huddled around phones. They seemed to be deep in conversation.
"Is that true?" said one. "If so, that doesn't sound like something she'd say."
"And why does he feel the need to be so rude about her weight?" said another. "It comes across as fat shaming to me."
Zipp leaned in. "May I ask what you're talking about?"
"A local radio station interviewed Carotang in advance of tonight's concert," said the third person. "It was all very odd. And quite strange. I can link the video to your stream if you'd like."
"That'd be very helpful," Zipp said, who sat down on a nearby bench. Once she received the message, she clicked the link and started watching.
Carotang was sitting in a chair, and looking just as smug and insufferable as ever. "Like I said before, Pipp finds her fans annoying. I know she puts up this front of love and friendliness when performing, but that's just an act."
"That doesn't sound like the Pipp we know," said the interviewer. Zipp recognised them as Skye Silver, the BBC presenter who had presented a segment on the local railway a year ago.
"Yeah, her fans deserve to know the truth. She was really rude to me during rehearsals yesterday, and called my music trash. Well, sorry, there's a reason Oasis sold way more music than she ever will- and that's because it's actually good. In fact, she stated that if I even so much as mentioned my new album she'd badmouth me on her socials."
"That must have been an awkward conversation."
"Tell me about it. All I wanted was one mention on social media. I mean, with all her wealth and luck she should be able to spare one measly little post, right? But she said that would harm her brand. Not that I'd want to associate with somebody who clearly can't eat properly. I mean, just look at her. Who'd want to be a fan of that tub of lard?"
Zipp sighed. "Looks like Pipp got herself into quite the mess with this Liam Gallagher lookalike. What's the bet he uses dynamic pricing at his concerts?"
"None of that is true!" Izzy said, and explained to Zipp what had happened the previous day.
Zipp nodded. "Well then. Looks as though Carotang and I are going to have a little talk."
Carotang had stepped outside of the studio for a quick drink. "Nothing like a nice iced coffee to get the brain going," he said. "Of course, can't let the fans see me drinking this- need to keep up the working class image."
Suddenly, he saw what he thought was Pipp approaching. "Ah, Pipp! How nice to meet you!"
Zipp scowled. "We need to talk."
"Something about tonight?" Carotang asked.
"You know exactly what I'm talking about," Zipp said. "You lied about what happened yesterday. Firstly, you tried to take over the concert and make it about you- I was nearly squashed by that enormous banner you put up!"
"Risk of the job," Carotang said dismissively.
"Not only that, but you plastered the entire lobby with your own flyers- including on top of the dedication plaque!"
"Well, somebody had to check your family ego."
"That's rich, coming from you," Izzy said.
"Not only that, you seem to have forgotten this isn't about you, or me. The concert is to raise money for Help for Heroes, not about flaunting egos."
"Then why is your name on the flyer?"
"Because I'm performing at it! It's completely normal to list the acts performing at a concert!" Zipp shook her head. "Also, I never said anything about social media- you tried to hijack the show and make it about you. Had you not done that, I'd be more than happy to promote you."
"Oh, poor you."
Zipp looked at him, annoyed. "Not to mention making fun of people's weight is not acceptable. It's not my fault I put weight on easily. Do you think it's fun constantly having to watch and monitor calorie intake all the time? Not to mention my BMI is 24.1, which is average for my age."
Carotang looked dismissive. "Just eat less and exercise more. Easy. No doubt the private chefs you have ply you with cake all day."
Zipp resisted the urge to punch him in the face. "Here's what's going to happen. I want you to issue a full apology for what you said and retract your words. Or things might get difficult for you."
"Did she really say that?" said a voice from the corridor. "What does she mean by 'make things difficult'?"
Zipp glanced one way, then the other, then spotted what was attached to Carotang's head. "Ohh..."
Carotang, on the other hand, had an absolutely colossal grin on his face. "Whoops. Looks like I left my microphone on." He walked away, smirking. "Looks like I won't need to issue a retraction- your actions confirm what I was saying. You know Pipp, you may not be blonde, but you've certainly got the dumb nailed down."
Zipp slumped as she saw the chat explode with comments. And none of them were positive.
"Zipp, what in the world is all this?" Wadsworth asked. "Why is there a funfair in the Great Hall?"
"I'm trying to make it fun for the guests," Pipp explained. "Everybody loves funfairs!"
"And a mud bath?" Zoom asked. "Speaking as a former soldier, this lacks the gravitas such an event should have."
"Mud baths help me stay calm and relaxed!" Zipp protested.
Zoom tapped Thunder on the shoulder. "Send Seacole up," she said. "I think Zipp's had a bang on the head."
Unfortunately, the mud bath machine had a rather severe fault, and then exploded, flooding the entire room with a sea of mud.
Lady Haven, who had only just returned, looked on in disbelief. "Zipp?!" she snapped. "What is the meaning of this? How did the Great Hall end up in such a mess?"
Pipp had no answer.
Author's Note
This chapter is an adaptation of the 18th G5 Comic. The title is taken from the Oasis song Wonderwall , released in 1995 on the album (What's the Story) Morning Glory?
Zipp's remark about dynamic pricing is a reference to a controversy surrounding Oasis' comback tour, which sold out very quickly. People who had sat in queues to purchase tickets discovered that ticket prices were higher at the buying screen than when they had joined the queue, which was heavily criticised.
Thomas and Friends: Tales from the Mainland Volume 4
"My office, please."
Pipp internally gulped as she dropped the shovel she'd been using. Ever since the vast amounts of mud that had flooded the Great Hall had settled, the entire family had been working to clean up the mess- with shovels. By hand. When Pipp had asked why, the reason was that the floor probably wouldn't withstand heavy machinery moving about on top of it. Not only that, the carpets would have to be replaced and changed, as well as the tables repaired and cleaned.
Pipp decided to keep quiet as they walked through the corridors. They knew this journey sort of well- Lady Haven had selected an office on the first floor (second floor in US parlance), and this meant journeys up stairs.
Eventually, they arrived, Lady Haven shutting the door behind her and indicating to a chair. Pipp sat in it. "Look, I didn't mean to turn the Great Hall into the Somme, but-"
"I can tell something is wrong."
Pipp stopped. "Huh?"
"You've not been yourself the entire day. Putting up an entire funfair inside the Great Hall? That seems really unlike you, Zipp. Not to mention your selection of words. Zipp, can you please tell me what's going on?"
Pipp sighed, knowing there was no way out of this. "Zipp and I swapped bodies," she mumbled.
"Sorry?"
Pipp spoke up a bit. "Yesterday Zipp and me had a fight, and when outside I met a spirit who offered to fix things. I said to them that I wanted Zipp to appreciate what I do as a performer. The next morning, or today, I woke up and found we'd swapped bodies- Zipp and me, you see. So we've been pretending to be one another the entire day."
There was an awkward silence. Pipp fully expected her mother to tell her to stop being silly, but what was said next was unexpected.
"Tell me something only Pipp would know."
Pipp thought for a moment. "On my fifth birthday, when dad and Zipp were out, the cake was precariously balanced and fell on top of me."
Lady Haven nodded, clearly remembering the aftermath of the event. "Getting the icing out of your hair was a nightmare." She stopped, and then sighed herself. "Why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you come to me when you found yourself in this mess?"
Pipp looked down. "We thought you'd think we'd gone cray cray," she replied, having abandoned any pretence of trying to talk like Zipp.
Lady Haven pulled her into a hug. "After all the things we've seen together, you think body swapping would be too far fetched for me to believe? I'm here for you, and I'm going to help you fix this problem- because that's what mothers do."
"Really?"
"It's my job to help you when you're in trouble. And I'm sorry for snapping at you when I got back- discovering that an entire room of your house is now a sea of mud is rather surprising when you've just walked in through the door."
"It's OK, mom," Pipp replied.
"But in future, when you're in trouble, talk to me. As I'm not a mind reader, I cannot help you if I don't know what's wrong."
"Understood."
Later on, Pipp ran into Zipp in the kitchen, getting some water. "This has all gone horribly wrong," she said. "The hall's a disaster zone, and we've had to acquire chairs at the last minute in order to salvage the mess."
"I was wondering what all the shovelling was about," Zipp said, sighing. "You look pretty stressed."
"Tell me about it."
"You look pretty stre-"
"Now is not the time for overused jokes, Zipp!" Pipp said. "Besides, mom knows."
"Mom knows about what?"
"The whole swapping bodies thing. She had her suspicions that something was wrong, but seemed oddly accepting of my explanation?"
"Given all the weirdness we've seen," Zipp admitted.
"So, how did being a popstar go? Was it as easy as you thought it would be?"
"No," Zipp admitted. "Carotang posted outright lies and made fatphobic remarks."
"Lipophobic. From the Greek words for fat and fear. But what happened?"
"I confronted him about it and demanded he retract what he said- but his microphone was on and the fanbase interpreted that as me threatening him."
"Rookie mistake," Pipp said. "Whenever in a conversation with a musician or a news station, assume the microphone is still on until you have left the building."
"So, how did the Great Hall end up full of mud?"
"A mudbath machine I'd added malfunctioned," Pipp admitted. "I thought the visitors might like it!"
"Most of our guests are nobility and former soldiers, and in a lot of cases both. I know combat training involves a lot of wading through mud, but formal military uniforms and mud do not mix." Zipp put a hand on her forehead. "But, we can still fix this. But for that we're going to have to work together."
"I'm guessing this is where my expertise with streaming comes in."
A few minutes later, the phone was set up, and Pipp forwarded a script to the teleprompter she had set up on a back wall. "Ready when you are, sis."
"Roll the tape."
Pipp pushed a button and set the device running. "Remember, be authentic."
Zipp looked calmly into the camera. "Hey, everybody. No doubt you've all seen and heard it by now- the business with Carotang. Truth be told, I need to give my side of the story. Sometimes, I get so caught up in the stress of the moment that I let my own emotions get the better of me. I know it's convenient and potentially tone deaf to beg for sympathy right before a major concert, but I'm simply trying to be honest with you guys. Being in the spotlight is way harder than I'd imagined, and I feel the need to tell you all the reason I reacted so badly to his remarks."
Zipp paused, then sighed, knowing she was about to be airing out something her sister had kept private for so long. "I know I present the image of a slim pop icon, but the truth is I haven't always been that way. When I was younger, I struggled to keep my weight under control. I was one of those people who seemed to gain weight with very little effort. And trust me, being the overweight kid at school was no fun. I was bullied over it, and people called me names. Lardbucket, pig, fatface- it was all really hurtful. And it left me miserable. I hated being the target of their mockery. It's something I've struggled with ever since, and although I was able to shed most of the excess pounds I've had to calorie watch ever since. So when Carotang made all those remarks, it hurt.
"No matter what, I can't help being who I am, and people shouldn't try to be somebody they aren't in order to impress other people. So, I hope you take this to heart- just be yourself, not what other people try to make you. See you tonight."
Zipp looked at Pipp as she stopped the stream. "How'd I do?"
"Excellently!" Pipp said. "You did a fab job. Now, let's get this party started!"
"We've still got a few hours."
Sunny walked into town, stopping at a restaurant she had visited a few times in the summer. "It said he was from here," she said.
"What's going on, Sunny?" asked a familiar voice. Sunny looked over to see Misty nursing a coffee whilst sat outdoors.
"Why are you outdoors?" Sunny asked.
"Inside was full," Misty explained. "It seems everybody and their dog had the exact same idea as me at the exact same time. Crazy, huh?"
"I need to talk to the owner," Sunny said. "He's got some info I need."
"Is this to do with the whole situation with Pipp and Zipp?" Misty asked.
"How do you know that they've switched bodies?" Sunny asked.
"Because you just told me."
Sunny facepalmed. "You'd make an amazing detective, Misty."
"Thanks. Besides, Carotang is going to be doing a meet and greet here, and I intend to give him a piece of my mind."
Sunny went indoors as an older man made his way to the till. He had yellowy skin and greyish hair, and had been a part of the Falmouth waterfront community for a few years now. "Hello Sunny!" he said. "You wanted to meet?"
"Hey, Panini," Sunny replied. That, of course, was not his real name- Patrick was his actual name. However, his nickname came from his love of baking. "So, what can you tell me about Milky Way?"
Panini frowned as he remembered that day. "Ever since I was a child I had dreamed of running my own cafe. But buying a store and running a cafe is expensive, so I needed money. I made a wish with Milky Way to get one, thinking she would just magic a cafe into existance for me."
"I assume that didn't happen," Sunny replied.
"Nope!" Panini replied. "She instead ensured I secured a high paying job to earn the money. But I wasn't earning money fast enough for her liking, so she changed the spell to ensure I could never sleep. I was making money at an impressive rate, but I was exhausted, miserable, and depressed. My colleagues saw my state and feared for my sanity, and when I explained what was going on it turned out some of them had prior encounters with Milky Way. Their combined outrage convinced her to reverse the wish, and she vanished from Falmouth, seemingly forever."
Panini sighed. "I spent some more time working there, then secured a loan and opened this little place. I never thought I'd hear the name again, but to hear she's been causing trouble for your friends sounds awful."
One thing he had said stuck in Sunny's head. "You said Milky Way reversed the wish? Because she said to my friend that she can't!"
"Well, Milky Way is lying," Panini replied. "Perhaps this is her big comeback!"
Sunny then had a brainwave. "I think I know what I need to do. Thanks for the help Panini!"
"No problem," Panini smiled. "Best of luck!"
As Sunny left, Carotang swanned in. "Who's here to party?"
The room fell completely silent as they looked. Carotang looked about, and got out his guitar. "Well, perhaps some music would he-"
"Bully."
Carotang looked in the direction of the voice. "Excuse me?"
A customer walked out. "I won't associate with bullies like you."
More people walked out, shaking their heads at him.
"What's going on?" the musician asked, utterly confused.
Suddenly, a voice caught his attention.
"Not so much fun when the shoe is on the other foot, is it?"
He saw Misty standing there. "I recognise you from somewhere."
"You made fun of my sister," Misty said, her voice dripping with contempt.
"Are you related to Pipp?" Carotang asked.
Misty then played the entire video Zipp (as Pipp) had recorded and streamed. Watching Carotang's face shift from his usual smugness to one of shock. "What?" he said, sitting down in a chair. "She's had to go through that her whole life?"
Misty looked at Carotang in disgust. "You made fun of her because of something she can't control and would rather she didn't have to live with. The fact you feel the need to punch down to make yourself feel better really tells me all I need to know about you- you're nothing but a toxic bully. And I cannot in good conscience support that, nor can many of your fans. My time as a fan of your music is over- much like this conversation."
Carotang sat there, silent. There was nothing he could really say. He'd had no clue Pipp had to live with that her whole life. Truth be told it reminded him of his own struggle with controlling his temper. After a while of silence, and a flood of messages from former fans saying they wanted the pre-order of his new album refunded, he sighed. "I owe Pipp an apology."
"Are you going to order anything?" Panini asked.
Carotang shook his head, and left the store. "Sorry for wasting your time."
Sunny got to Falmouth Manor as fast as her legs could carry her, sliding in through the door and finding the Great Hall was almost cleaned. A familiar song played over some speakers.
"Gonna work, work, work!
"Gonna work, work, work!
Most of the mud was gone, and many of the guests who had already arrived. The Duke of Norfolk looked quite curious in heavy duty work clothing. "Get your backs into it, lads!" he called. "This mud isn't going to clean itself!"
"Aye, my lord!" called the Duke of Grafton. "Attend to His Grace's orders!"
Several more Dukes and Duchesses moved past them, this a very surreal sight.
"What's going on?" Sunny asked.
"They arrived early and offered to help," Zipp said. "Wanna muck in?"
Sunny smiled. "How could I say no?"
Milky Way suddenly appeared above them. "What is this?" she said. "Good Lord, what a mess."
"Yeah, we're cleaning it," Pipp said. "Then we'll be getting everything set up for tonight again."
"And the concert?" Milky Way asked.
"Got the lyrics learned and the choreography down," Zipp said. "So, as you see I do understand what my sister goes through. So, if you could switch us back that'd be fab."
Milky Way looked cross. "No, you have to appreciate what she does as a performer, not understand."
"Now who's being a pedant?" Sunny asked, with a wry smile.
Milky Way looked despondant. "No chaos... such a disaster. This has to work or I'm ruined!"
"You could save yourself the embarrassment and just switch us back now, and we promise not to tell anybody," Zipp said.
Milky Way smiled. "You know, maybe I will... but remember who has the power here. Zipp can only truly appreciate what it's like to be a performer if she performs to a live audience at a concert. Too bad that the concert won't be happening!"
Suddenly, the heavens opened, and rain began thundering down to the ground, raindrops exploding on the ground as they landed. "Enjoy the storm!"
"You just keep moving the goalposts!" Pipp protested.
"When you made your wish you never said I couldn't," Milky Way smirked.
"Would you really be so selfish that you'd happily see a charity event ruind rather than reverse your spell?" Sunny asked.
"No good deed goes unpunished," Milky Way said, as she flew off.
"Bad news, Your Ladyship!" said Wadsworth. "The road into Falmouth is blocked, and a tree fell on the line! Nobody can get in or out of town now!"
Zipp sighed. "And we've got less than two hours to go! What are we going to do?"
Author's Note
This chapter is an adaptation of Issue 19 of the MLP G5 comics, which continues the ongoing mini arc we've been following up to this point.
Pipp's story connects to my own past in a number of ways- I've struggled to keep my weight under control for much of my life and got bullied over it as well. I think that's part of the reason Pipp is a positive inspiration, to me at least- she's somewhat chunkier than her friends, but nopony judges her over it and she is clearly happy, making her a much-needed positive depiction of a plus sized pony (especially given I grew up in an age when the 'fat idiot' stereotype was still seen as acceptable in children's media).
One of my major frustrations with the comic series this is adapting is that Carotang faces no consequences for his actions- yes, Zipp shouldn't have threatened him, but the fact remains that he faces no onscreen consequences for outright lying about his main musical opponent (his words arguably constitute slander). As a result, I decided it be only fair he face actual consequences for his actions.
And now, the storm has arrived! How are our heroes going to resolve this one?
Thomas and Friends: Tales from the Mainland Volume 4
Lady Haven looked out of the window in concern, the flashes of light bouncing off the silk fabric of her gown. "This storm only seems to be getting worse," she said, as the room was briefly illuminated by a bright flash of lightning. "I fear at this rate we may have to cancel the event- some of the guests are yet to arrive, and with the railway and the road blocked they won't be able to get here."
Sunny looked over. "But what about the fundraiser?"
"I fear that's off the table as well." Lady Haven looked to a servant. "Fraser, could you prepare the guest rooms? I suspect we'll have many guests tonight."
"Yes, Your Ladyship," the servant replied, and headed away.
Just then, Pipp and Zipp arrived, clad in all the nightly finery. "I wish she hadn't put it on so tight," Zipp complained.
"That's how I normally have my corset set," Pipp replied. "It's wearing a crinoline without one that feels weird." She then noticed the look on her mother's face. "Is something wrong?"
"We may have to cancel the event," Lady Haven replied. "What is weird is how this storm appeared out of nowhere."
Sunny walked over to her friends. "Looks like the plan to get Milky Way to switch you two back completely backfired."
"No doubt she'll just keep moving the goalposts to ensure she never has to switch us back," Zipp complained.
Suddenly, Pipp had an idea. "I think I have an idea. I've been getting loads of videos of people sharing their meals on the internet recently. That is, sharing videos of their meals, not the actual meals, as that would TOTALLY not work with modern technology."
Zipp was starting to cotton on. "Of course! If we cannot host it in person for everybody... we just have a digital one instead!" She turned to Lady Haven. "Mom, you've got the email addresses of all the planned guests, right?"
"Yes. Why?"
"I'm going to send them a streaming link they can follow, so they can join us in the Great Hall!" Zipp replied. "Let me just make a video." She hit some buttons and held the phone up. "Hey everybody! Just to let you all know, the Help for Heroes Charity Dinner isn't off, just gonna happen a little differently this year. We're hosting it through streaming! I'll be sending all the guests a link so they can join, and you can join if you're a regular follower of mine as I'll put a link in the chat. Send the link to everybody you know and we can get this party started!"
Sunny then had an idea as well. "And hold an in person event for everybody here! That works twofold!"
"How?" Pipp asked, tilting her head slightly.
"Panini said that Milky Way undid his wish when enough of his friends challenged her, and not only that if Zipp is performing, she'll be performing to a live audience. Therefore, she'll have fulfilled the criteria!"
Suddenly, the comments section exploded into life, and Zipp went to check it. Her heart sank when she saw the messages in it.
"Well, this isn't fun," she said. "They're accusing me of fishing for sympathy after what I said to Carotang."
Misty, who had been there, looked over. "That's only a small number of people," she said. "There was a mass walkout at Panini's cafe earlier when Carotang showed up. I also showed him the video, and he had an emotion on his face I never thought I'd see."
"What was that?"
"Remorse."
"So what if a small number of bad eggs refuse to accept the truth? Move on."
Zipp still looked down. "I'd still feel better if I said something, though. Truth or not, I did kinda threaten him. Or it could be interpreted as a threat, but you know what I mean."
Pipp smiled. "I have an idea. It might require me to pull a few strings, mind."
"Good luck," Misty said. "Zipp, could you help me get my gown on?"
Carotang stepped in through the door at Falmouth Manor, slightly surprised. He looked to the servant and passed his coat over. "Hang that up over there, please."
"Miss Pipp will see you shortly. Wait in the Music Room," the servant replied, his voice devoid of warmth. Carotang understood why. Given what he'd said about this man's boss it made sense he was annoyed.
He stepped into the music room, a room dominated by a vast Grand Piano, and took a seat, placing his guitar down next to the chair. "Now to wait and find out what fate has in store for me."
A few minutes later, the doors on one side of the room opened, and whom he thought was Pipp entered the room. "Hey, Carotang," she said.
"Uh, nice dress," was all the musician replied. "Suits you well."
Zipp sat down in a chair, smoothing her skirts out to avoid something awkward happening. "Look, Carotang, I want to apologise for what I said earlier, and-"
"Pipp, I'm the one who should be apologising."
Zipp stopped for a moment. "Pardon?"
"I've been nothing but a twit to you the entire time. I hijacked your concert to make it about me, spread lies out of anger, and made fun of your struggles. I had absolutely no idea you've had to struggle with that your whole life- I'd just assumed the worst. When Misty showed me the truth and your video- I felt rotten inside. I hijacked your concert and made it all about me, Pipp. I let my ego get the better of me. I haven't been a good musician at all, and for that I'm sorry." He paused. "And there's something I'd like to do to make it up."
"What's that?" Zipp asked.
"Is the piano OK to use?"
"Yeah. You're a pianist?"
"Piano, guitar, voice- versatility is valued amongst musicians," Carotang replied, as he stepped over to the keyboard and flipped open the lid. "An original Penna e Divano piano. These are quite rare nowadays."
"One of my great great grandfathers brought it back with him after doing the Grand Tour," Zipp explained.
Carotang nodded. "Got the streaming equipment ready?"
Zipp nodded. "Ready when you are."
Carotang looked in the camera. "Greeting, fellow residents of the internet. I imagine you weren't expecting me to appear on Pipp's channels, but truth be told I'm doing something I should have done a long time ago. All of the things I said about Pipp were false, and I am formally retracting all the things I said. It's time to come clean- I'm the villain of the story here. I hijacked her performance. I was focused on being in the spotlight that I forgot this isn't about me."
In the background, he began playing a familiar chord sequence. "Sometimes life requires us to make sacrifices to serve things greater than ourselves, and to try and look forward as best we can and move forward not as enemies, but as allies. Oasis recorded a pretty good one about that, and all the money from this stream will go direct to Help for Heroes. So, Pipp, would you kindly join me for Don't Look Back in Anger?"
Zipp smiled. "I'd love to."
"And So, Sally can wait!
A few hours later, everything was ready. Those who had been able to make it to the Charity Dinner were sat in their tables, and a camera had been set up to capture everything that was happening. Furthermore, a screen had been set up showing everybody who was joining the meal remotely. Some were at home, looking at the camera with their dining room tables. Others were sat in hotel rooms, and others appeared to be in their cars or on trains.
Zipp (as Pipp) performed a musical number to cool the atmosphere, before Pipp (as Zipp) said a few words of welcome. As was tradition, Lady Haven opened with a full speech. "Good evening, everybody. I appreciate that my appearance is somewhat pixelated right now, but the storm is causing some issues with the broadcast equipment.
"An enormous amount of work has gone into this event, and I'm sorry to say it nearly didn't happen thanks to the bad weather. However, this sort of problem never stopped those whom we are paying tribute to tonight, as those brave men and women who have served our country to ensure our freedoms always found a way through. As such, it is fitting that we found an ingenious solution rather than simply give up and wallow in despair.
"And for that solution I must extend my thanks to my friends and family. My daughters are the ones who proposed this alternate arrangement and got it all set up at such short notice, and as such I extend my thanks. I have always been proud of them and what they have achieved, but they really pulled out all the stops to ensure we could proceed as we are. So, I propose a toast- to Pipp and Zipp, the heroes of the day!"
"Hear hear!" called the assembled nobility.
Suddenly, there was a loud bang, and Milky Way materialised in front of them. "This is all wrong!" she said. "Now nothing can go as planned!"
Lady Haven's smile dropped, and her eyes narrowed. "Excuse me, but who are you?"
"That's the spirit who swapped our bodies over!" Pipp said.
Lady Haven looked rather more annoyed. "Apologies for the somewhat blue language, but you're the fool who's been messing with my family?"
Milky Way ignored her, and flew up to Pipp. "We need to talk!"
"Good thing you're live to a lot of people!" Pipp smiled, pointing to the camera. "Family is always complicated. We love each other, of course, but that doesn't mean we don't get frustrated sometimes, or get annoyed. However, I try my best to remember that family really does make us better.
"But it's only when we truly understand what others are going through are we truly able to connect. I know I hadn't done that at all well the last few days, and I'm trying to be better at it."
Zipp then spoke up. "But all of this is due to circumstances beyond our control. The being floating before you created this storm, which is why we're being forced to stream it to those not here."
There were loud gasps from around the room, mainly from those assembled at the tables.
"And," Pipp added, "may I remind you, Milky Way, that you said Zipp, and I quote, 'can only truly appreciate what it's like to be a performer if she performs to a live audience at a concert.' And she has- you never specified it had to be in a concert hall."
"Well, I'm sorry but performing in this space does not count. She must perform in a concert hall with a real crowd who pai-"
"MILKY WAY!"
The room suddenly fell silent, all eyes looking forward to the source of the noise. Lady Haven had risen to her feet, and was looking at the nymph with furious eyes- an impression further magnified by the fact her face looked like a beetroot and her maroon ballgown drawing attention to her mood.
The nymph turned to look. "Who are you?"
"Their mother, and as such you will listen to me this instant. I do not understand the purpose nor the point of this little stunt of yours, but you have caused my family untold trouble this last day. I mean, what sort of swine tries to prevent a charity event designed to help people from going ahead just to satsify their own ego? I've had quite enough of this nonsense. They've fulfilled your requirements, so uphold your end of the bargain."
Milky Way looked at her. "What makes you think you could do anything to me?"
"It's not so much what I can do, but what we can do collectively."
Milky Way turned around to see the assembled Dukes and Duchesses looking at her, looking very cross.
"Alright, fine! I'll do it!"
Pipp suddenly felt herself being pulled out of the body she had been in for the last few hours, and was suddenly on the other side of the room, sitting at a table. She looked down, and quickly checked about.
That was her hair. And her coronet. And her evening gloves. And the puffy pink ballgown she'd been looking so forward to wearing! She looked over to see Zipp checking over herself in a similar manner.
"Zipp!" she called, and dashed over. "Are you OK?"
"Never felt better!" Zipp replied, and the two sisters hugged.
The crowd looked on with melted hearts as Pipp and Zipp embraced.
Zipp was the first to speak. "Pipp, I'm sorry for missing the rehearsal."
"I was the one who got us in this mess. If either of us should be sorry, it's me."
"Water under the bridge, my dears," Lady Haven said, who had made her own way over and drawn her daughters into a further hug. "I've never been more proud to call you my daughters."
Zipp glanced at the clock. "First course is in a few minutes. Pipp, are you thinking what I'm thinking?"
"Totes, Zipp!"
Pipp leaned over and pushed a button before grabbing a microphone.
"Everybody needs a good friend/
Zipp then took over for the next part of the verse.
"Bright sky, fly-high!
Before the two siblings launched off into a duet.
"I'm livin' my bestie life/
The second verse then rolled in. Zipp led off this time.
"Everybody needs a little boost/
Pipp then chimed in.
"Bright sky, fly-high!
Before, as before, the two sisters dueted.
"I'm livin' my bestie life/
"You, you!
"I'm livin' my bestie life/
As the song faded out, nobody was in any doubt as to how true those words were. Even if explaining all of this to Lord Haven would a bit complicated, that didn't matter now. The two sisters had each other, and the day's mishaps had brought them closer together.
Author's Note
This chapter is an adaptation of Comic 20, which concludes the cutie mark swap storyline. It was also the final G5 comic to use the Make your Mark artstyle; the comics from Kenbucky Roller Derby onwards used an artstyle inspired by Tell your Tale. The title is taken from the Oasis song of the same name, which released alongside Wonderwall on (What's the Story) Morning Glory? in 1995.
There's a G4 reference hidden in the story to one of Ponyville's shops if you can spot it.
The final part of the story is original, and not taken from the original comic; the original comic's ending has some issues, which I chose to remove in order to fit better with the changes made to earlier portions of the story.
Thomas and Friends: Tales from the Mainland Volume 4
"Misty! Misty! Over here kiddo!"
Misty looked about her. She was standing in a playground, with other kids having fun on various different bits of equipment and playing with each other. She looked up and saw a bearded man calling to her.
"Misty! I'm over here! It's time to head home now!"
Misty quickly dashed over to him, where he picked her up. "OK daddy!"
The man smiled. "Did you have fun today?"
"Sure did!" Misty replied, her face taken up by a happy grin.
Suddenly, an incredibly loud beeping noise cut through the scene, and Misty was abruptly jolted awake. She looked about her. She wasn't in a playground. She was lying on a rundown bed, in a dark, dingy room with no windows. A single desk was rammed up next to the wall, with only a pen sitting in a well. The pen, of course, had long since run out of ink.
A device sitting on a piece of wood that served as a bedside table went off again. "Misty, you don't have time to lie in and ponder! Get dressed and get to work!"
"Coming, Opaline!" Misty said. She pulled herself out of bed, finding she was in the same tatty clothes she had been wearing for years. It wasn't hard to see why- Opaline had said she couldn't spare any funds to acquire more clothing, which is why she'd had to make do with these rags.
She slipped a pair of squelchy shoes on, the firmness gone completely with age. She tried to brush some hair out of her eye, but there was too much for it to be handled. Misty didn't dare ask for a haircut, though- the last time she had Opaline had arranged for every bit of hair to be sliced off, leaving her bald for quite a while.
She took a quick shower, in what felt more like a prison cubicle than an actual proper shower in a home, and then made her way to the command room. Opaline was sitting there, with personnel monitoring displays and running equipment.
"Confirmation on possible energy track," said one soldier. "Moving from Dorset towards the West Coast Main Line."
"Keep a close eye on it," Opaline ordered. "It could be the breakthrough we were looking for."
"Yes, Your Majesty."
Opaline looked up from the desk and saw Misty, putting on what was possibly the fakest smile in the history of fake smiles. "Ah! Misty, there you are. I thought you'd gotten lost- like the first time I brought you here."
"Well, the shower was a bit slow, and I grabbed a bite to eat whilst coming here, and-"
"I'm not interested," Opaline said. "Eat on the job, Misty, that's what I do." She indicated to an empty plate, which another soldier then took away. "More efficient. Now then, I have an important job for you."
"Yes?" Misty said.
"Yes what?"
"Yes, Opaline?" Misty replied, labouring the second word as much as she could. That had been a slipup. She couldn't afford another slipup- if she lost her three chances she'd be in for a beating.
"The East Entertainment Quarters need cleaning. If you can get the stuff cleared out by lunchtime there's a reward in it for you."
Misty nodded. "I won't let you down, Opaline!"
"Good girl. Trust and obey, for that will get you where you want."
Misty calmly left the room.
As she worked, Misty couldn't help but feel off. Throughout her day, she kept getting odd flashes of another life. Of two people, whom she presumed to be a mother and father. But that couldn't be possible. Opaline had told her that she was an orphan; her mother had died in childbirth and her father had been killed in a train crash.
So how could these people, whom she was calling 'mommy' and 'daddy' in what she remembered, possibly exist?
She tried to focus on her work as she went through the things, but still something was gnawing at her mind, gnawing like a particularly irritating beaver.
It was as she made her way through the piles of items she came across a box- a box simply marked To Misty .
A box for her? Misty's eyes lit up in excitement. Perhaps she had particularly pleased Opaline, and this was some sort of gift! Misty opened the box and set the contents down, looking in surprise at the contents.
There were photos inside, images of these two people. One showed the woman holding a baby, and other showed the couple with Misty between them.
And then, Misty remembered. She wasn't an orphan at all! They were her parents! She had to find them somehow!
"Sticking your nose where it doesn't belong, are we?"
Misty had barely any time to react before Opaline grabbed her and slammed her into a wall, boxes and items going flying. "I daresay you've become not very good at obeying orders Misty. Perhaps a little refresher course is in order."
"You've been lying to me," Misty said. "My parents aren't dead! You said my mom died in childbirth! How then can she be there in the picture?"
"Your father could have remarried?" Opaline suggested, before reaching behind her. "And I haven't been lying to you, oh no. I've just been improving the truth. Remember all you need for truth to become truth is for any evidence of contradictory narratives to be erased." She snapped her fingers. "Take the pictures and burn them."
"Yes, Your Majesty!" said a soldier.
"No!" Misty yelled. She would have said more, but was rendered speechless as her cheek and jaw exploded in agony.
"Talking out of line, are we?" Opaline said, still pinning Misty in place. "Where was I? All that is needed for the contradictory narratives to be erased. I will admit it's not perfect, but it works well enough."
She produced a stone from nowhere, which started to glow. "You know, Misty, I never thought I'd have to operate on you again... but needs must when the devil drives!"
Misty's eyes suddenly shot open, and she looked around herself in fright. Her forehead was drenched in sweat, and as she pulled herself out of bed she saw the bedsheets looked to be soaked with the stuff.
Now she knew. Now she knew why she didn't know them, and had struggled to recall anything about her life. As if on autopilot she began changing the sheets and putting the old ones in the laundry basket. If nobody found out about this, the better.
The next morning, Misty convened her friends and family at Falmouth Manor to explain what she had seen. "That's why I can't really know which of my memories are real and which aren't," she said sadly. "Opaline was selectively wiping them so often to ensure maximum obediance from me."
"But some information must have slipped through the cracks," Zipp said. "I mean, you were able to recognise Alphabittle when you met him in the forest, didn't you?"
Misty nodded. "I did. But I didn't recognise mom at all until I made the connection between her and a picture she had in her lab." She put her head in her hands. "I'm just so confused now. Just how much of my own past is lost, and how much can I truly know about myself?"
There was a moment of brief silence for all there, until at last Alphabittle spoke. "You're still my kid, Misty. No matter what, and no matter what Opaline did to you, that will never change. I'll always be here for you, as will your mother. Unfortunately she couldn't make it this morning as she's at the clinic, but you can pop down later to say hello."
"Not exactly helping, Alphabittle," Lady Haven said.
"And you've got us," Pipp said, placing her hand on Misty's shoulder. "There's an old saying that friends are the family you choose. Obvs not trying to downplay what Opaline did, but we can help you move forward. Life doesn't always go the way we expect, but sometimes we have to roll with the potholes."
"Especially given the wild day you two had recently," Misty said, as she looked up. "Thanks guys. I think I need a bit of time alone."
"What happened in the end?" Lady Haven asked.
Pipp shrugged. "The head nymph gave me a visit. He apologised for Milky Way's behaviour and stripped her of her license to perform wishes."
As Misty got up from the table and walked to the stairs, Alphabittle's eye was drawn to the calender sitting on the table behind them. "Do you guys know what day it is?" he asked.
"No. Why?"
"Today, twenty years ago, Misty was born," Alphabittle said. "When have you been marking her birthday?"
"May, around the same time as Pipp and Zipp," Lord Haven replied. "As we didn't know her date of birth we felt it would be easier if all three of them celebrated together."
Izzy looked up. "Is this conversation going where I think it is going?" she asked. "Because if it is then I am so onboard with this plan!"
And so, they began to talk- but I shan't say any more, or I will spoil the next story.
Author's Note
This chapter is based on a Thomas and Friends fan episode of the same name, which somehow manages to be even darker than Shed 17-something I did not think possible. Although the same basic premise is used, several elements were changed-the central narrative conceit of the engine's faces being removed and put on replacement bodies would not translate at all well to humans.
Opaline's dialogue is inspired by various real life cult leaders; Your Majesty is an allusion to various Jacobite cults that have existed over the years, whilst 'Trust and Obey' was the mantra of David Berg, the leader of The Family (a phrase designed to ensure blind obediance to him).
One of the described images is a reference to this fanmade comic cover:
Can you guess what the stone is?
And so, with the truth of Misty's birthday revealed, the story moves apace-onward, to our next adventure!
Thomas and Friends: Tales from the Mainland Volume 4
It was a cold winter morning in the Fal Valley, but that didn't mean things stopped. Just because there was snow and frost on the ground didn't mean goods wasn't moving or people needed to travel. As such, the engines were working at their usual rate, shuffling passengers, trucks, coaches, and freight (delete as appropriate) up and down the line.
Sophie, however, was not too happy. "I've just been repainted!" she complained. "Why should I be taking messy coal trucks up to Truro? Give it to another engine!"
"Like Charles?" Salty said, with a smile.
"Don't be absurd!" Charles spluttered. "I am an officer, and-"
"Officers are lazy," Porter said.
"Teeth, be quiet." Charles went on. "Besides, the only types of trucks we should pull are containers- clean, sensible things that come quietly and don't make a fuss. I used to do that sort of thing between Southampton and Waterloo all the time. We called them CONDORs too."
"CONDORs?" Rebecca asked. "As in the birds?"
"Indeed," Charles said. "But it was an acronym. It stood for Containers Door to Door. People would put their items into large containers, which were then placed on wagons to take them to their destination. It meant things could go direct without needing to be loaded and unloaded, which really sped things up. You know, Rebecca, I'm surprised you're not familiar with the practice."
"I was only allocated to Nine Elms for a short period in the 1950s," Rebecca explained. "Other than that I spent most of my time being bounced between Ramsgate, Salisbury, Exmouth Junction, and Bricklayers Arms."
"That explains so much and yet so little."
"Anyway," Salty said, "Sophie, just some friendly advice, diesel to diesel. I know the work doesn't exactly seem like fun, but it's important and helps others. And thinking of others can, if nothing else, be a real mood booster."
"I second that!" Porter said.
As Sophie was backed out of the shed by Pipp, Porter looked up to see a biplane flying over. "It's got a banner behind it!" he said. "Falmouth Pleasure Beach Grand Opening tonight. Please come and visit."
"Nice that they finally settled on a name," Charles joked.
"A shame they picked such a noisy aircraft to advertise it," Rebecca said.
"Oh well," Salty said. "We'll be down in the docks today. Apparently we've got a special load to pick up. Whatever that may be."
Sophie had finished assembling a train in Lighthouse Quarry, and I'm sorry to say her mood had not improved. "Urgh! All this dust does not go well with red and black!" she said.
"Black is quite good at hiding dust," Pipp said. "But it's a bad idea to wear it in summer. Especially Cornish summers!"
Once work was done, Pipp received a special message. It's time to put the plan into action. Proceed to Falmouth Station at once. Don't tell anybody who you're picking up.
Pipp leaned out of the cab. "Change of plans, Sophie! Apparently we are to collect a special visitor!"
"Hooray! Nice to get away from dirty trucks in dirty sidings."
"You'd be dirty too if you spent your whole life carting rocks and coal about," one of the trucks pointed out.
"Not only that, we're stuck here too," said another. "What sort of deity makes trucks that can talk, eh?"
"You're in a curiously philosophical mood today, Fred."
The truck sighed. "Sitting about without much to do means I have a lot of time to think."
Sophie had collected a single coach, namely Clara, from her usual siding at Perranwell, as apparently the special guest deserved to travel in style. She pushed the coach into the platform and waited.
"Well, where is the special guest?" she asked.
"Sophie, be patient," Pipp said, as she looked down the platform. Sure enough, she had soon arrived. "Welcome about, Ms Firstmorne! We have made all the arrangements."
"Faven, please," Faven replied. "And sorry for the delay. Had an unexpectedly high number of flue shots to administer today." She opened the door and stepped into the coach. "Oh, how lovely. It's like a parlour in here."
Once doors were closed, the guard blew his whistle and waved his green flag. "RIGHT AWAY!"
"Easy on the throttle!" called Clara. "We don't want all the furniture sliding about, do we?"
Meanwhile, Salty and Porter were looking at something that had just arrived at the docks. One of the cranes was busy unloading lots and lots of boxes.
"What could be in all these boxes?" Porter wondered.
"Maybe it's for the Pleasure Beach!" Izzy said. "I had been wondering what else they were going to add!"
Sunny put a hand to her chin. "Mom says that no amusement park is complete without a carousel. And many theme park designers feel the same way- Walt Disney got the idea for Disneyland whilst watching a carousel."
"And we have sorta been building our own park, haven't we?" Porter ventured.
"Well, it would have been easier if I'd been able to acquire a magical object that just caused a boardwalk to pop into existance!" Izzy said.
"Don't be absurd!" Salty laughed. "That sort of thing only happens in web cartoons!"
Sophie came to a stop in the platform at Penrhyn, and Pipp leaned out to call over to Alphabittle. "Ready whenever you are!" she called.
Alphabittle nodded. "Just need to finish oiling this crane. Then I'll be on my way!"
Soon enough he was, and he walked across the line and joined the train. "Here's hoping this works!"
"I would comment on your choice of clothing, but I'm not exactly poshly dressed myself," Faven admitted.
Once at Truro, they collected Misty and began to work back to Falmouth. It was dark when they got back, and the trio walked to the sight of the Pleasure Beach.
Just then, Misty spotted her friends. "They're here!" she said, with a happy smile. "They're all here!"
"Well," Zipp said, "we thought it only fitting. You see, we only recently learned that today is your birthday, Misty. And we want to celebrate it with you, as true friends should."
Just then, the Falmouth Pleasure Beach was bathed in incredible light. Each and every stand was switched on- food stalls, the rides, the ferris wheel, the whole lot. With the neon and the glowing lights and the music, it was a truly magical atmosphere.
As the six friends walked down the boardwalk, Sunny looked over. "Guys, I can hear music," she said. "I think a musical number is approaching!"
Pipp led off.
"When we are all different, but one and the same!"
Izzy took up vocal responsibilites.
"Like starlight and moonshine, we all have our place!"
Misty then followed up.
"You can't make a rainbow without all the colors!"
Sunny then joined in.
"And we can't make a friendship-"
And Hitch finished the sentence.
"-without one another!"
Before they all sang together, looking directly to Misty.
"'Cause there is nobody quite like you!"
There was a pause, before Pipp sang again.
"So let your magic run wild!"
As the music behind them began to build up, Misty joined in.
"Let your magic run wild!"
As they made their way towards the first ride of the evening, Hitch and Zipp dueted.
"If you could only see everything you could be/
"Let your magic run wild!" Pipp added.
As they Wild Blue Wonder cleared the first drop, they continued together.
"Let your magic run wild!
Now dashing to the edge of the pier, Izzy pointed up to the skies. "Look at the night sky, fillеd up with stars!"
"Each one is perfect, just as thеy are!" Hitch pointed out, pointing to the Ferris wheel.
"But they're brighter together, each leaving their mark!" Zipp noted, looking upwards from the passenger car of the Ferris wheel.
"So beautifully different, all lighting the dark!" Misty observed.
"'Cause nopony sparkles quite like you, ooh!" Pipp and Hitch noted, both pointedly looking Misty's way.
Izzy took over vocal duties again.
"So let your magic run wild!"
(Now it's the time to light up the sky)
And Pipp joined her.
"Let your magic run wild!"
Then the vocals bounced to Zipp.
"If you could only see everything you could be/
Then they all sang together.
"So let your magic run wild!
Let your magic run wild!
Then they each took turns to harmonise with Izzy.
"We are all different/
Before they all sang together.
"And we can't make a friendship without one another!"
"So let your magic run wild!
As they looked out to sea, Zipp spoke up. "Happy birthday, Misty."
Misty smiled in return. "Thanks, guys." Truth be told, she knew this was her place. It is often said that friends are the family you choose.
And Misty knew there was nobody she would rather be with.
Author's Note
This chapter is an adaptation of the Thomas and Friends episode of the same name, and is narratively a direct follow-up to the previous chapter. Given how miserable much of Misty's life was, I felt it only fitting she get a happy day courtesy of her friends.
CONDOR was a heavy freight service introduced by British Railways in 1959 as part of Modernisation. These services consisted exclusively of container stock and ran at express passenger speeds to try and speed up freight delivery (the primary benefit of containers being no need to move goods between trucks). The trains ran until 1965, and were replaced by the Freightliner brand in 1966.
The sheds Rebecca mentions are all real places; Nine Elms was the main works of the London & South Western Railway, and Salisbury and Exmouth Junction were major junctions on the West of England Mainline, a route that Rebecca would probably have travelled regularly in steam days. Bricklayers Arms was one of the early depots of the South Eastern Railway (which later merged with several other companies to create the Southern Railway), and was situated in Southwark (pronounced Su-thuk) in south London. Bricklayers Arms closed in 1962, but many of its structures were saved and moved to Ropley on the Mid-Hants Railway, most notably the wheeldrop.
According to the official history of the Walt Disney Company, Walt got the idea for Disneyland when he was visiting an amusement park in LA with his daughters. At the time, it was normal for children to go on rides whilst the parents watched. Whilst he was doing this, Disney found himself thinking; what if somebody built a park where adults and kids could have fun together? This idea would eventually evolve into Disneyland, which is often described as the first theme park.
Thomas and Friends: Tales from the Mainland Volume 4
The coastline of southwestern Cornwall is dotted with the ruins of old engine houses. Long ago, tin was found in long veins running deep under the ground, and mines were built to exploit this natural resource. The problem is, Cornwall has a high water table, and as such the mines were prone to flooding. As such, stationary steam engines were built to both carry the miners in and out of the mines, and also to pump the water out of the cavern system.
However, the life of a tin miner was always a volatile one, as tin seams are fickle. Once a seam ran out, the mine usuall moved on. The miners moved to a new seam, taking all of their equipment with them- including the stationary steam engines. The buildings, however, were rarely taken with the mining company, and once all the valuables were removed were simply left- after all, there would be plenty of stone available with which to build another engine house at the new location.
One such structure stood in the hills overlooking Perranwell. It had served a mine that had ceased operations in the 1930s, and ever since had stood lonely, like a sentinel standing guard over the valley. Many legends had grown up about it, with rumours that it was haunted by the ghosts of the men who had once worked the machines it had contained.
And then, one day, the fortunes of the Fal River Valley would change again. A rich tin seam was found in the old mine, one which could be exploited economically. As the tin price was very good, the decision was made to try and reopen the mine as a drift mine, though a pumping engine would still be needed.
As such, Perranwell freight yard became the railhead for the construction efforts. The railway moved equipment in and shipped waste rock out to be dumped in an old clay pit. One morning, Brookes arrived from Truro with a train loaded with fresh building materials.
He saw a long train loaded with rock. "That's a lot of waste rock," he commented.
"All of it's coming out of the mine," Porter explained, as he moved some fresh trucks into the sidings. "You'd best get that lot pushed into place as quickly as we can. The owner of the private siding has jacked up his access fees in response to this new work."
"Talk about trying to make a quick buck," Argyle said, as he set Brookes to work. "You know, I can't help but question the wisdom of reopening the seam."
"Why?" Izzy asked. "It brings in loads of employment!"
"Because the land is absolutely criss crossed with unstable tunnels," Argyle explained. "And they won't have had any maintenance done on them in about 90 years. If they're not going through all the tunnels to prop them up, one might collapse. And that would not be a pretty sight."
"Saw the after effects of a mine collapse once," Brookes said. "It was not a pretty sight."
As Brookes' train was unloaded, one of the pieces of machinery looked very odd. It sat on a belt of sorts, with a large saw mounted sideways.
"Excellent!" said one of the miners. "I was looking forward to this arriving!"
"What is it?" Brookes asked.
"It's a rock saw," he explained. "The teeth are made of diamond, the hardest element known to man. It cuts through the rock like butter, and avoids damaging the tin lode in the way conventional explosives would. We'll get it moved into the mine and give it a field test tomorrow!"
The next day, the mine went into full operation, and this meant that tin ore needed moving. Tin ore contains a lot of useless impurities such as arsenic, and as such the rock needed to be moved to a dedicated mill near Penzance to be processed until the stamping mill in Truro was finished. Based on how the men loading the trains were talking, the new saw was working very well.
"It can easily do the work of twenty men!" said one. "Saves us a lot of legwork, that's for sure!"
But nobody thought about other effects it could be having. That night, the rain came, and the workers went home for the night. Brookes was being coupled to the last train heading for the junction when he looked up at the old engine house that overlooked the mine. For a split second, he could have sworn he heard a voice. But he couldn't make out what it was saying.
Suddenly, a huge piece of rock landed next to the track. "Looks like the rain loosened some rock," said Argyle. "We'd best be getting on our way."
Brookes looked up, worried. "What if somebody doesn't want us to be here?" he asked.
"Just my luck," Allura growled. "I thought I'd finally found a place I could plan in peace, and now those noisy workmen start up a mine right next to me. I've already gotten sick of hearing all the work songs."
"They are in rather fine voice," Alfred said.
"Don't take their side," Allura said. "If we get caught, that compromises our chances of being able to escape. And neither of us wants that. We'll just have to hope they don't break through to our cavern."
The next morning, Izzy was out having a stroll around Perranwell. The local area had become incredibly busy thanks to all the mining, and as a result tourism had taken a small backseat apart from people coming to watch the mine workings.
Izzy whistled happily as she walked along. "Couldn't be better!" she said with a smile. Just then, she spotted a strange cavern jutting out of the mountainside, not far from the mine. "Hey, that cave looks fun!" she said. "Mom and dad would love to explore that, I bet. Such a shame he's off at the oil rig right now." She shrugged. "I'll take the needed precautions."
She quickly produced her caving gear from nowhere, securing a helmet, light, harness, and battery pack in place before proceeding into the cavern. "Hello? Is anybody there?"
She heard a noise in response. "Hmmm. Maybe I should get them a welcome basket!"
Sunny looked up from her stand in the town square. "Here's a fresh load to go to the mine!" she said, to a waiting workman.
"Thank you," the workman said. "Your drinks really are helping to keep the men hydrated."
"Just be sure to keep them refridgerated until you need to drink them," Sunny reminded him.
Izzy suddenly appeared. "Hi Sunny! There's somebody new to the area in Perranwell. Could you rustle up a welcome basket, please?"
Sunny quickly dropped some fruit into a basket. "Here you go! Enjoy!"
Izzy sped off as Pipp and Zipp lined up for a drink. "What was that about?" Pipp asked.
"Something about somebody being new to town," Sunny said. "Sometimes Izzy is just Izzy."
Izzy walked back into the cave, listening to two figures speaking. "You know, Alfred, there is one thing I really like about this place."
"And what is that?"
"No annoying people. Especially not that irritating girl who foiled our plans in Chicago."
Izzy stopped. "Hi new friend! I got some stu..."
Her voice trailed off as she saw Allura walk to towards her. "Wait, Allura?"
"As if ruining my plans wasn't enough, you come to gloat about it in my face," Allura growled. "I've had quite enough of your face and your irritating voice for one day."
"Couldn't we be friends? Maybe I could help you!"
Allura narrowed her eyes. "I don't need your help. I don't want your help." Her eyes started to glow. "Now get out ."
Izzy suddenly found herself outdoors again. "Hey, what was I doing again?" she asked, before suddenly spotting the cave and hearing somebody speaking. "Hmmm. Maybe I should get them a welcome basket!"
Sunny was incredibly confused when Izzy suddenly asked for her another welcome basket. And another. And another. And another. "I'll have run out of bananas at this rate!"
Sunny wasn't the only one incredibly confused. Allura was baffled, then increasingly annoyed that Izzy kept coming back with more and more baskets loaded with fruit. The pile of baskets grew taller and taller until it almost reached the ceiling.
When Izzy next returned to Falmouth, Sunny already had a basket ready for her. "Let me guess, new friend?"
"Where are you taking all these baskets?" Zipp asked.
"Oh, to a cave near the mine workings at Perranwell!" Izzy said. "Somebody is living in there now, so I want to say hi!"
Zipp looked at Pipp. "I wonder if that's the cave we got stuck in when looking for the Ocean Lily."
"Could be."
Sunny suddenly had a look of realisation on her face. "Hang on a moment. Izzy, does the cave have rails running into it?"
"Yeah! Makes it really easy to find!" Before they could say anything else, Izzy was off on her way again.
Sunny looked at Zipp. "Remember that mystery engine we found prowling around Perranwell?" she said.
"Yeah?"
"What if he lives in that cave?"
"We need to follow her, and fast," Pipp said.
Izzy looked on in confusion at the enormous pile of fruit baskets in the cave. "Has somebody been doing regular fruit deliveries here?"
"You, you utter annoyance," Allura growled, appearing in front of Izzy. "I've had quite enough of your antics, Izzy Moonbow."
Izzy looked confused. "Only people who know me call me Izzy. If they don't know me they usually call me Isabelle given that's what written on my birth certificate."
"But I know you well, you annoying child. But I can't have you blabbing about this place, and seeing as wiping your memory over and over again doesn't work I'll have to resort to more... drastic measures."
"I like the sound of this," Alfred said.
Izzy tried to run, but her boots couldn't gain traction on the icy ground as some sort of snowglobe formed around her.
Allura turned around and relaxed. "The poor fool doesn't realise it's soundproofed in there. Nobody can hear a word she's saying."
"Will you let her out?" Alfred said.
"Of course. But this should scare her so badly she'll never come here again."
"Hey!" shouted a voice. "Let her go!"
Allura smiled. "You should be glad we're on top of granite here so I can't just drop her through the floor."
Zipp and Pipp charged at Allura, who fired off an energy blast that shook the caverns. Ice crystals began to drop from the roof and slam into the ground below.
The two sisters rolled behind a rock to block Allura from their view, and then moved over. "Sunny, you're up!"
Sunny dashed into position, and ponied up before firing a single blast at Izzy's prison, blowing it open. "There! You're free!"
Izzy needed no prompting, and ran for the cave exit whilst Allura jumped onto Alfred's footplate. "We need to find a new base. But before we go let's give them a little distraction!"
Suddenly, at the mine, warning klaxons started to sound as a voice began to sound over speakers. "WARNING. WARNING. GROUND SUBSIDENCE EXCEEDING SAFE LIMITS. ABANDON MINE AREA AND PROCEED TO REFUGE ZONES IMMEDIATELY. WARNING. WARNING. GROUND SUBSIDENCE EXCEEDING SAFE LIMITS. ABANDON MINE AREA AND PROCEED TO REFUGE ZONES IMMEDIATELY."
Brookes, who had brought some trucks up to be loaded, looked over in alarm. "That's not good."
Argyle looked over from the trucks and saw something appearing before them. "How did that boulder get there?"
Sitting on front of them was an enormous boulder made of ice. And then it started to roll towards them.
Argyle leaped into the cab and released Brookes' brakes before opening the regulator as far as he could. Brookes shot backwards down the line as the boulder followed.
Brookes reversed into a siding. "Let's wait here until the boulder goes by!" he said. But the boulder was nowhere to be seen.
Suddenly-
"THE BOULDER'S BEHIND US!" Argyle shouted. "FORWARD, QUICKLY!"
Brookes shot forward as the boulder appeared behind them. There was something off about this boulder. It seemed to be chasing them. Hunting them. As if it had a mind of its own.
Brookes hammered into a siding near the mine workings as the boulder roared by, before it suddenly changed directions and began rolling back towards Falmouth.
"We need to warn other engines on the line!" Brookes said.
"Yes, but how?" Argyle said. Just then, he had an idea. "The signalman!"
Further down the line, Alexandra was making her way up to Perranwell when there was a buzz. "What's that?" she asked.
Lord Haven listened. "Warning signal. Runaway rolling stock, find shelter immediately."
Just then, the rumbling grew louder. And both railmotor and driver saw the enormous ice boulder moving towards them! "Back, back, quickly!" Alexandra shouted.
Lord Haven jammed Alexandra's cutoff into reverse and opened the regulator, running downhill as fast as he could. The boulder had arrived so suddenly he'd had no time to change cabs, and had to stick his head out of the window to see where he was going.
As they rocketed towards Penrhyn, Lord Haven sounded the whistle six times- which indicated he wanted the cattle dock siding. The signalman threw the points and they rocketed into the siding as the boulder thundered by.
As Alexandra stopped, Lord Haven's radio buzzed. "Hello?"
"Did a giant boulder just pass you?"
"Yes, why?"
"We need to warn all trains in the system. Are you aware of any other trains on the line?"
"Harvey was supposed to bringing some extra trucks up to the mine, and-"
"What's his radio frequency?"
Harvey was waiting for his stock to be readied at Penmere when he heard a sudden rumbling noise in front of him. "What's that?" he asked.
Goldie then heard the cab radio buzzing, and grabbed it. "Hello?"
"Goldie, get Harvey off the main line now! A siding, anywhere, just off the main!"
Goldie then looked out of the cab and saw an enormous ice boulder rolling their way. "Oh crap." She put Harvey into reverse and backed him into the fuel depot as quickly as she could, before the boulder hammered by.
"If that thing crashes into Falmouth, they're doomed!" Harvey shouted.
Just then, Goldie saw something familiar fly through the sky past them. "Sunny!"
Sunny was chasing the boulder as quickly as she could. She was getting closer, but they were running out of time. But sure enough, she caught up with the boulder, and with a mighty blast of energy blew it to pieces. The fragments flew through the air and landed in the ocean nearby, well clear of any buildings.
When news of the accident reached the mining company, they decided to close the mine. "Nature," said one of the directors, "has a way of reminding man just how insignificant he truly is. We should have left this part of the land alone."
Now the mine sits silent and still, the old engine house once more watching over a silent valley. And of Allura? Well, I'm afraid that's a story for another time.
Author's Note
This chapter combines the plotline of the Thomas and Friends episode Rusty and the Boulder with the Tell your Tale short Oooh, a new Friend! These two episodes, to my surprise, went very well together, and given I had previously adapted the former it only felt natural to adapt a classic episode once again.
Thomas and Friends: Tales from the Mainland Volume 4
"Why is there so much mail moving about today?" Porter asked, looking in confusion. "Normally we only need a single sorting coach on the back of the morning train, but there's two today!"
Izzy looked over and smiled. "That's because one of the best holidays of the year is approaching, and people want to get their things in order and their schedules prepared!"
"Namely?"
"Valentines' Day, of course!"
"Isn't that the one where people buy each other overpriced chocolate and flowers that'll wilt in a few days?" Charles asked, as he backed onto the coaches.
"It's not just that!" Izzy said. "It's an eternal celebration of love- one of the greatest emotions there is!"
Just then, Salty arrived, propelling some stock. "It's not just that," he said. "Love can be celebrated at any time of year. Based on what humans told me most weddings take place in summer."
"Personally, I'd go for winter," Sunny said. "If mom's dress was anything to go by I'd fry in the summer. Not that I have anybody- yet."
Just then, they saw some people boarding the train, being rather amorous with one another. "OK, that's just silly," Charles said.
"They're probably newly in a relationship," Zipp shrugged. "Mom and dad don't act anything like that around one another."
"They have been married a long time, mind you," Porter ventured.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Nothing in particular. My point being they've been together for so long the over the top acts are no longer needed- no point in spending time pointing out the obvious."
"I'd best be off to the docks," Salty said. "Got some things to pick up. I heard, I heard, the old man say!"
There was no reply.
"Come on! Where's your voice?"
"Many sea shanties open with that phrase," a truck pointed out. "We don't know which one you're singing."
"John Kanaka," Salty said.
"OK then!"
Rocky was waiting down at the docks. A ship had recently arrived and was unloading some things. "Hopefully the supplies Pipp ordered for Mane Melody are here," he said. "It'd be awkward if they went amiss."
"Hey Rocky!" called a voice. Rocky glanced over and saw Jazz had come to join him. "Is the shipment here yet?"
"Just being unloaded," said a dock worker. "Mind your backs!"
Rocky had looked in another direction, determined to hide the fact his face had gone red. Truth be told, he'd noticed Jazz acting wierdly whenever she was around him. Hopefully the task would get his mind off of her.
"LOOK OUT!"
Suddenly, a crate fell from above, and without thinking twice Rocky dived and pushed Jazz out of the way. The container exploded, showering the ground with roses and red plants. The pair popped out of the mess, coughing and spluttering.
"What a mess!" said a dock worker. "Quick thinking there, sir. She's lucky to have you."
Rocky looked confused, until he realised what the dock worker thought. "I'm actually not in a relationship right now."
Just then, Salty rolled in. "What a mess!" he said. "Good thing you two were here!"
"Now, can somebody help us clean this mess up?" Rocky asked.
"Sure thing. Looks like you two could need a hand."
Throughout the cleaning process, Sunny noticed something weird between the two. They appeared to be avoiding looking at one another, but she couldn't detect any animosity at all.
"Right, I need to get up to Truro to grab some hairspray," Rocky said, and headed away.
"I'd best be heading back to Mane Melody," Jazz said, and she too set off on her way.
"Did you notice something?" Salty said.
"Not particularly," Sunny said.
"Jazz went back to her usual self when Rocky left. Something fishy is going on, Sunny, and we need to find out what."
"Jazz, you seem a bit distracted," Pipp said, looking over.
"Distracted, me? No way!" Jazz replied, as she continued to use a spray can.
"You dumped at least half a spray can into my hair!" Posey said. "How am I supposed to go about my day if my hair looks like a Christmas Tree ornament! It's January, for heaven's sake!"
"Jazz, watch how much nail polish you're using!" Pipp shouted.
Sure enough, a customer's nails was covered in gallons of the stuff. "Watch what you're doing," she said, looking annoyed.
Once the customer had gone, Pipp pulled Jazz aside. "Look, it's obvious what's distracting you, so there's no point in denying it."
"I don't know what you're talking about," Jazz said, though her face strongly suggested otherwise.
"I've been paying attention- frankly it's hard not to in such a confined space- and it's pretty obvious you have a crush on Rocky."
"Don't be ridiculous! We'd never work, we're not compatible for that sort of thing!" Jazz shoved her hand in her mouth when she realised what she had just said.
"Knew it!"
Jazz sighed, frustrated. "Fine, I have a crush on him. But it'll probably go away with time."
Sunny walked in, having overheard much of the conversation. "You know, I wouldn't worry about the whole compatibility thing."
"We're from totally different worlds. No way would it work."
Sunny shrugged. "My mom's a businesswoman and my dad's a college professor. They celebrated twenty years of marriage last summer. My point being is that love is blind."
"I also have two tickets for the stylist expo being held in Plymouth tomorrow, but I don't have the confidence to ask him to go with me. Despite how I feel, I've never really interacted with him outside of a professional setting. What if I make a complete fool of myself?"
"Just be romantic if you can!" Pipp suggested. "But try to be as direct as you can. Try to avoid getting lost in waffle."
"Why is there a waffle here?" Rocky asked.
"Just in case you want to give it to your special somebody," said a vendor.
"No thanks, Valentine's Day is not for a bit. Besides, I'm not in a relationship right now."
"But you might be. And you know where that leads."
Rocky shook his head. "Yuck. No way." He went on his way, collecting the items he needed from his collection. "Right, that should do the trick. And she'll probably like that one too."
"Shopping for a sweetheart, are we?" asked the shopkeeper.
"Nope, a colleague," Rocky replied. "We work in a hair stylist, and I'm looking for some sprays for her." Jazz drifted into his mind- her energetic nature, her compassionate style, those gorgeous bright blue eyes-
"I see. You're getting red in the face just thinking about her, I see."
Rocky jumped and looked over. "N- no I'm not!" he said, putting the items on the table.
"Best you'd calm down," said another person in the queue. "You can't think straight if you're flustered."
Rocky made his purchases and stepped outside. "What is up with me today?" he asked. "Is this what it was like when mom and dad were da- focus, Rocky! Grab the stuff and get back to Falmouth!"
Jazz decided the best way of resolving this problem would be to express her feelings through song. "How about a Motown style number?" she suggested.
Pipp grinned. "You have no clue how much I've wanted to do Motown inspired stuff! Let's do it! Backing vocals, folks!"
Invisible instruments started playing as Pipp and her friends started singing backing vocals. Then Jazz entered.
"Let me tell you bout the sweetest guy/
"The way he walks into work!
"I just wanna be your number one buddy!
Yeah, he's the only guy that I adore! (Ooh-ah)
"I love it when he laughs and when he looks my way/
"I just wanna be your number one buddy!
"I just wanna be your number one, your number one!
"Nicely done!" Sunny said. "Now let's hope Rocky's receptive."
Rocky got back in from Truro and dropped the items off before vanishing.
"Rocky?"
Rocky stopped, and swung round. "She's not here, is she?"
"Who? Your secret crush?" Pipp asked.
"I don't have a crush!" Rocky said, very much aware his face was betraying him.
Pipp snorted. "Like, sure you don't. I've noticed the way your face goes red when you look at her and how you both seem to clam up when talking about none-work related things."
Rocky sighed, and sat down. "Fine. Maybe I do have feelings for Jazz. She's a wonderful person and really helps to brighten my day, especially when I've had an awful one. And that's the problem. I'm not good enough for her. She deserves better than a hairstylist who lives in a seaside town."
Pipp looked over. "That's not true, Rocky. You're a great guy, and I know for a fact Jazz feels the same way about you that you feel about her. You just need the confidence to tell her how you feel."
"How do you know that?"
"Because she told me earlier today," Pipp said. "Now then, are those the items we need?"
"Bought with my own hands earlier today," Rocky smiled.
"That's an odd way of paying for them. I'd have assumed you'd use money."
"Figure of speech, Pipp."
"I know," Pipp smiled, as she spotted Argyle entering behind them. "Just trying to get you at ease- you seem really wound up."
"That's because I have a long history of terrible dating. What if this turns out to be another misfire?"
"I felt the same way when I broke up with my second girlfriend," Argyle said. "I was just about ready to give up. And then I fell into another relationship- quite literally- when I met Goldie in Dresden. We've been going strong for 20 years. My point being that you shouldn't give up hope, as this could be The One."
Rocky got up. "Thank you, sir. I'll give it a shot."
"That's the spirit!"
Rocky was walking in circles in the town square when he saw Jazz arrive. "Hey Jazz! Nice outfit you're wearing!"
"Thanks," she said, as she walked over. "Err, hey, I was wondering if I could ask you something?"
"Sure."
"Err, I was wondering if maybe there was a chance that you'd honour my hand."
Rocky looked confused. "I'm sorry, what?"
Jazz shook her head. "What is up with me today? OK. Do you want to go to the stylist expo tomorrow?"
"Sure. The funny thing is, I bought two tickets and was going to ask you to go. Funny how this works sometimes."
Jazz grinned. "Awesome! We can even invite two friends now!"
As the pair walked off, Izzy suddenly appeared with a boombox and began running about the town square.
"You did that stunt two years ago!" shouted a man. "It wasn't funny last time!"
But the point stood. With the help of two other people, Jazz and Rocky had found their feelings for one another.
Author's Note
This chapter combines the plotlines of the Thomas and Friends episode Rosie is Red and the Tell your Tale short Jazz loves Rocky . The title of the chapter is a portion of the poem A Red, Red Rose , written by Robert Burns in 1794.
Although a relatively straightforward adaptation, some elements had to be dumped; the montage from Jazz Loves Rocky was cut as there was no real way to fit it into the story, and a fair amount of Rosie is Red was reworked as considerable portions of the episode is quite cringy.
Thomas and Friends: Tales from the Mainland Volume 4
Loading and unloading of cargo has always been a complex and tricky business. Today was no different, and the workmen on the docks were moving boxes back and forth loaded with fish from the early morning catch.
Porter sat on the dockside, coupled to several fish vans that were to be loaded. Normally, he would run up the dockside with his vacuum pipes disconnected, but today things were slightly different.
"What's this smelly thing at the other end?" he asked.
"That?" Izzy asked rhetorically. "It's something Neville brought with him. It's an old horsebox that's been fitted with a steam heating boiler that will power the fish trucks and their onboard temperature control systems."
"Talk about fancy," Porter replied. "Back when I started in the yard they were still loading trucks with ice. That turned them into a timer- once the ice was loaded you had to get a move on, as there was no guarantee wou'd be able to top up on route."
There were a series of door slams, and then a voice called. "Careful! One box to go!"
The last box was being moved by Rocky, which had been pulled out of storage to help out. Normally he wasn't seen this fare up the quay, but his arm was very helpful. "Not long now!" he said.
But as his arm passed over Porter, it happened. The bottom of the box gave way, and fish tumbled all over Porter!
"Sorry!" Rocky said.
Izzy laughed. "No big deal. Besides, he's the Flying Kipper now! Smell that smell!"
"I don't like fish."
Later on, after the vans had been delivered, Porter was taking a selection of parts up to Penrhyn. The yard crane had broken down, and they needed to fix it, and so they were on their way when suddenly Porter spotted something.
"Red flags at the lineside," he said. "That usually doesn't look good."
Just then, a loud bang echoed underneath him. "Oof! That made my axles tingle!"
Izzy looked about. "Detonators," she said. "We'd best stop."
Once they had stopped, a workman walked over. "Sorry about the noise," he said. "We've got some issues with the embankment. Until then trains are being required to work at slower speeds."
"Charles won't like that," Porter said.
"Who cares what he thinks?" Izzy asked. "Right away!"
The workmen climbed aboard and rode with them to the other end of the section. At the other end, they placed a special lamp. This would warn trains coming the other way, and the workmen connected it to a gas bottle for when night fell.
Later that day, Porter had just dropped back to the shed when he saw Pipp walk over to Sophie. "I hadn't seen you all day," he said. "I was wondering where you'd been!"
"Late night oil delivery," Pipp explained. "The railway prefers to move oil at night to avoid disrupting passenger traffic. But this will make a mess of my sleep schedule."
"Go to bed early?" Izzy suggested.
"That's what I tell my followers to do," Pipp replied, as she got Sophie's engine fired up.
"Be careful out there!" Izzy said. "There's a speed restriction around Penrhyn due to an embankment!"
"Thanks for the warning!" Sophie said, as she powered into the darkness.
Work had gone long at the University, and Argyle was only now beginning to make his way home. It still stunned him just how quickly it fell dark around this time of year. What was only half five felt like the dead of night, and Argyle was keen to stick to the brightly lit streets as he walked home. Truth be told, walking home in the dark always unnerved him, primarily because of the threat of danger. Goldie always tried to stick to well lit areas or be home before the sun set, and Argyle always told Sunny to try and be back home before sundown if possible.
As he rounded a bend, he suddenly heard strange noises from the boardwalk area. Somebody was on the Pleasure Beach! "That's funny, I thought it was shut today."
He dipped back into an alleyway as he suddenly heard some noises coming up the tramway. He looked out, and saw a large green engine puffing down the rails, his eyes looking back and forth quite quickly.
Then the engine spotted him. "You'll stop hiding if you know what's good for you," he said.
Argyle looked about- and suddenly found himself face to face with a woman with purple skin and some white streaks. This was combined with yellow eyes and a set of white, course gloves. She wore a green shirt, a turquoise coat, and purple heavy duty pants combined with a pair of grey boots.
"Wh- where did you come from?" he stammered.
"Far, far from here," the woman said. "And if you're at all sensible you won't get in my way."
Argyle backed up. "Wh- what do you want with me? Is it money?"
The engine behind him laughed. "Allura has no need of your money, foolish human."
"Indeed, Alfred," Allura said. "As for you, Albert- well, you probably don't know me. But I know the Starshines very well. Everywhere I go your lot seem to keep getting in my way. Misty Island, the mine, now here. No matter where I go, I get driven away."
Argyle then made the connection, his mind missing the fact this woman somehow knew his real name. "Were you the one who made the ice boulder?"
"The very same," Allura said. "But nobody came to any harm. Besides, I'm not the villain here. Listen, and I shall explain."
She walked back to Alfred, and music began in the background.
Pipp attached Sophie to the oil tankers, and then hopped back in the cab. "It's nice to be in a fully heated environment," she said. "The weather sure is frightful out there."
"Keep an eye out for the red light!" Sophie said. "The foreman warned us a red light would make clear where the damaged land is!"
"I know just what to look for," Pipp smiled, and advanced the throttle. The fog was beginning to settle across the track, reducing visibility to about zero. In the lack of visibility, seeing anything was just about impossible. The track continued to rumble underneath them, and before long they saw the red light in the gloom.
"Here we are- reducing speed to twenty miles per hour," Pipp said. The tanker train rolled slowly through the section, with the track creaking as they ran over it.
"That didn't sound right," Sophie said. And she was right. Little did either of them know, but the weight of the tankers had damaged the track even further. All it needed was one more hit and things would fall apart.
Allura looked back to Argyle- and started to sing.
"You say I'm a monster!
"Spent my life on the outside looking in/
"I would've done it all so differently! (had I known)
Just then, Alfred joined in.
"They won't stop 'til they make a monster out of me/ (Ha, ha)
(Always find my way right back to you) (Ha, ha)
Argyle spoke up. "Hold on a minute. Could you just clarify something?"
"If I feel like it," Allura said.
"Who are you referring to when you say 'you'?"
Allura beckoned for him to walk closer. "I speak of somebody very close to me. You probably wouldn't know this, but I am not from around here. Neither myself nor Alfred belong in this world. As you can probably guess from my accent I am originally from Norfolk, where I grew up with my brother, Alterro. We did virtually everything together, and that even extended to helping at a local heritage line, the North Norfolk.
"The line was home to, amongst other things, a pair of B12 locomotives; Alfred was one of them. The other was called Hazel, and she and Alfred had fled there from Norwich shed when much of the class was withdrawn. We worked together and the pair were popular at special event days- there aren't many places where two engines of the same class run together in this country."
Argyle looked confused. "Norfolk is to the north of here."
"You're not listening," Alfred said. "We're not from your Norfolk. Our Norfolk is from the other side of the dimensional curtain. We don't belong here- we cannot stop, we cannot rest, we cannot linger anywhere. All because of our own foolish actions."
"What happened?"
Allura took up the story. "It happened at a place called Holt. The station sat on the sight of an old goods yard, and was being rebuilt in readiness for opening as part of the heritage railway. Myself and Alfred were shunting building supplies when we spotted a strange glow from one set of buffers. Alterro warned us not to go near it, but in my foolishness I didn't listen. There was a bright flash, and suddenly none of our friends were there. Not only that, I was stuck in a world where I didn't exist.
"All these years, I have tried to find a way home- but idiots keep getting in the way!"
Suddenly, Alfred took up the song.
"All my life been bouncing place to place/
"I would've done it all so differently! (had I known)
Allura then joined in again.
"They won't stop 'til they make a monster out of me! (Ha, ha)
(Always find my way right back) (Ha, ha)
"You say I'm a monster!
Argyle looked at her. "Allura, we can help you," he said. "I'm an expert in this sort of thing, and it sounds as though you got teleported between dimensions by the Magic Railway. I can do some research and see if a tunnel leads back to Holt or-"
"With the way you people have treated me, how can I trust you?" Allura interrupted. "You disrupted my operations on Misty Island. You stole the Nova Charm- my last shot at getting home. And now mining gets in the way. No. Alfred and I will find our own way back- by ourselves. Now, if you'll excuse me, Alfred and I need to find a place to rest tonight. No doubt we'll be on the move again on the morning."
With that, Alfred moved off, his whistle blowing as he vanished into the night. Argyle shook his head at what he'd just witnessed. "I think I've got some questions for Sunny in the morning about this Allura woman."
Sophie had succesfully dropped off the oil tankers and was now working light engine back to Falmouth. Pipp watched speed carefully as they dropped through Penrhyn. "Speed restriction soon," she said. "Keep an eye out for the red light."
As they proceeded down the hill, suddenly the cab AWS alarm went off. Pipp cancelled it, but suddenly the track began to throw them around. "What the? Where's the red light?"
Braking had minimal effect, and they shot through the section alarmingly fast. Behind them, there were loud breaking and cracking sounds, and this concerned Pipp. When they arrived at the next station she stopped Sophie and told the signalman about what had happened.
"I'll send the danger code," the signalman said. I'll notify the station master and suggest he head down the line with you."
When he was ready, the pair walked back to where Pipp had heard the strange noises. The station master shone his torch- and his jaw dropped in surprise. Much of the embankment underneath the tracks had fallen away, leaving a gaping hole in the ground, and the track was suspended, dangling in the air.
"That's not good," he said. "An engine clearly went through that at well above the permitted speed."
"Well, that's the odd thing," Pipp said. "We never saw a red light to warn us to start slowing down, the first news I got was the AWS going off."
"We'll investigate in the morning."
Sure enough, the next morning brought light- and some answers. "There's the culprit," said a workman, showing a bottle. "This gas bottle was connected up to the sign on the other side- but it ran out partway through the night as it hadn't been refilled properly. Still, rebuilding this embankment and putting the track back in will take a while."
Luckily, there were plenty of people and engines ready to help.
Author's Note
This chapter combines the plotlines of the Thomas and Friends episode of the same name and the Tell your Tale episode No Place Like Home . As adaptations go, this may seem like an odd pair to combine, but I found they went curiously well together. Given what we now know about Allura, it makes her backstory quite tragic-the fact she simply wants to get home gives her a fair deal of sympathy, sympathy Opaline never deserved.
The crash sequence at the end of the chapter is based on two different incidents. The landslip element is taken from the Chicken Curve collapse on the Gloucestershire Warwickshire Railway, where a GWR-era embankment that had been built poorly gave way and cut the line in two. The depleted gas bottle is taken from the Nuneaton Crash, which occurred when a warning light for a speed restriction failed due to running out of fuel. An express train entered the section going at four times the permitted speed and derailed, badly damaging the station in the process and killing six people.
Thomas and Friends: Tales from the Mainland Volume 4
The sounds of heavy gunfire echoed all around. Sunny and her friends looked about themselves in despair as they saw the enemy close in.
"THIS IS YOUR LAST WARNING!" shouted a voice from a waiting armoured personnel carrier. "You are to surrender to Her Majesty Queen Opaline immediately!"
"SCREW YOU!" Zipp shouted back. "WE'D RATHER DIE THAN BE YOUR SLAVES!"
"Very well. OPEN FIRE!"
The last survivors of the resistance fought back as best they could, guns firing even as shell and bullet exploded all around them. Sunny was fighting on the front, trying to protect her friends from the enemy fire whilst firing back with her own energy blasts, but she was but one person against an entire army.
An explosion from a mortar shell blew both Pipp and Zipp up, scattering them over the ground. With them, the Duchy of Dorset was extinguished.
The tower in which Hitch was providing fire support was blown to rubble. Misty was shot clean in the head- she never would have known what hit her. By then, only Sunny and Izzy were left, fighting on even though all seemed hopeless.
In that moment, a flurry of bullets came their way- too late for Sunny to mount an effective defence. The world seemed to go into slow motion as they struck Izzy, causing her to fall backwards as blood began to pour from her wounds.
"IZZY!" Sunny screamed, and crouched over her friend's body to protect her. It was bad. Izzy's wounds were too severe for her to treat.
Izzy looked up, coughing as she did so. "Sunny..." she spluttered, blood coming out of her mouth as she did so. "R-run. Save yourself."
"No, I'm not leaving you!" Sunny replied. "You're the only person I have left in this world!"
Izzy tried to reach up to place a hand on Sunny's cheek. "I know this is all wrong, but know this, Sunny... meeting you was the best thing that ever happened to me..."
With that, the light faded from Izzy's eyes, and her body slumped onto the floor.
It took Sunny a moment to register what had just happened.
Izzy Moonbow, her last surviving friend, was dead.
She truly was alone in the world.
Sunny looked up, sobbing, as she saw the enemy close in.
Opaline was leading them, smiling as she did so. "So, Sunny, this is where your little resistance ends. The strong always prevail over the weak, and your own actions brought you here. People only suffer when they follow you." She paused. "I look forward to hanging your corpse from the walls of the Tower of London, as a reminder of what happens to those who stand against me."
Her hand started to glow. Sunny had given up, and resigned herself to her fate. They had failed. Her parents were gone, and now her friends were too. The Starshine line had been wiped out.
"Many leaves, one tree, Sunny. And now the tree is dead. All that remains is to reduce the leaves to ash."
Sunny closed her eyes as she heard the energy build up. This was the end- this would be her final resting place.
"Any last words, Sunny?"
Sunny's eyes suddenly shot open, and she looked around her environment for clues. She first glanced to her alarm clock, which was showing the time was seven in the morning. Otherwise, all seemed normal.
Sunny slid herself out of bed, trying her best to sort out the massive mess that was her hair. This always happened when she woke up. It was a weekend, which meant she had no real commitments. She listened out for signs of life in the home.
As she opened the door, she saw her parents looking down the corridor. "Morning, Sunny," Argyle said, his smile dropping when he saw how unhappy she looked. "Is something wrong?"
"I had another bad dream," Sunny said. "Opaline had won, and we- I saw them dying around me! They were dead, and it was my fault!"
She collapsed, sobbing, as her parents pulled her into a hug. "Sunny, none of that was real," Goldie started to say.
"Opaline would never have hunted us if we hadn't put the crystals back together! It must be trying to tell me something! I put you all in danger!"
"Opaline can't hurt you now," Argyle said. "She's gotten what she deserved. Now then, let's have breakfast once we're fully showered and dressed, and hopefully that'll cheer you up."
Zipp listened to Sunny with the gentle ear of a good friend. "That sounds intense."
"I've been having variations on that theme for a bit now," Sunny said. "No matter which combination of events, I'm unable to save you guys- I always end up alone."
"I think that's a fear we all have, Sunny," Zipp said, trying to comfort her.
Sunny sighed. "But I think there's more to it. Opaline frequently appears in these nightmares. And she and I had one thing in common- we could both pony up." She looked at her hands. "And she did that interview with the Times-"
"You read that?"
"Mainly out of morbid curiosity to see what lies she'd try to spin as truth," Sunny replied. "And I noticed she states her aging has slowed down dramatically. I noticed my own injuries heal unnaturally fast. And this is where the fear comes in. What if I'm not really human anymore? What if, with Opaline gone, I really am the last of my kind? Am I cursed to keep on living for centuries whilst those I love die around me?"
Zipp looked at her. "All I know is that sometimes we have to confront our fears head on. I know it's not a nice thought, but perhaps there's a place where we can understand what's going on?"
"Where did you have in mind?"
"Remember the tunnel network we found in that book?" Zipp said. "If Opaline was able to use it to move her troops about, then I reckon they lead right back to her base."
In another section of Falmouth Manor, Misty was calmly reading a book. Her eyes were glued to the page as she saw how the valiant knight was trying to escape, when suddenly she saw something move out of the corner of her eye. "Huh? What was that?"
She put the book down and followed the odd light through the door, and noticed it was floating at the end of the corridor. "Well, that's something you don't see every day." She continued to follow it down the stairs, until it reached a large door near the bottom of the building.
The light went through it, and Misty was surprised. "It wants me to go in there? That's just the basement we've stuffed full of random junk."
But the light remained in position, and Misty stepped inside the room. As she indeed had recalled the room was stuffed full of junk, the sort of accumulated items a landed family acquires over the centuries. According to what Lady Haven had told her, the family had once had an entire building for storing paintings- when most of the art gallery was sold off to help pay off debts, the building had been sold to the National Trust and was now a storage space for them.
Just then, her eyes were drawn to a succession of stained glass windows lining one set of walls. Each showed a group of engines sitting next to one another, each group in full steam. Two of the groups Misty recognised pretty quickly- one was Thomas and his friends, whom they hadn't seen in nearly a year. Another group was their engines, Salty et al- notably, the only grouping to have any diesels in it.
Misty pushed some items out of the way to try and get a closer look, not noticing the objects glowing. Upstairs, Lord Haven was very confused when the water from the taps stopped running. "Elizabeth? Is the water still working for you?"
Misty knew she had to keep digging for the pieces and get a clearer view, completely unaware of the chaos happening upstairs. However, she spotted something glowing next to a book, and walked over to flip it open.
"Never thought I'd be in Opaline's bunker," Sunny said. "I'm surprised they didn't dynamite the place."
"They were considering it, apparently," Zipp replied, "but doing so would have caused large scale ground subsidence. Come on. I'm certain the answers we need are in here."
They gradually looked through the rooms, finding numerous ruined structures inside. As the structure had been abandoned for some time, cobwebs and dust was starting to build up. Zipp removed some dust from a computer terminal. "Huh. CRT monitors. I saw one of these in a museum once."
Sunny pulled something out of a draw. "Why did she have small replicas of us in her drawers?"
"Voodoo dolls, maybe?" Zipp suggested. "Given what we know about her I wouldn't be surprised if she was into that. And see those pictures on the walls with bullet holes in them?"
"Opaline sure wasn't right in the head," Sunny said. "But what if I go the same way?"
"I know you won't," Zipp said. "This device is taking FOREVER to start up- seriously, did they not invest in SSDs down here? Sunny, could you check some other rooms whilst we wait?"
"Sure thing," Sunny replied, and left the room, not sure what she'd find next.
Misty studied the text closely, and noticed something. "Wait a moment. Those are the engines of the Liverpool and Manchester Railway. I saw this in one of Lord Haven's books."
She glanced from the book to the first stained glass window, and noticed something odd. She picked the book up, walked over, and compared the two images. The stained glass window appeared to show them in battle with an ominous figure, whose face was not visible.
"It's the same engines!" she said. She then looked to the next stained glass window along, with another group of engines from a much later time period. The third group appeared to be mostly Great Western locomotives, and then the aforementioned groupings of Thomas and Salty and their friends.
Misty was beginning to sense that there was some sort of connection between these various groups. Were teams of six always fated to come together?
"I see you have come to learn, young one," said a voice. Misty suddenly swung round to see a ghost standing there.
"Wh- who are you?"
The ghost, a man with a distinct Northumbrian accent, smiled. "I am George Stephenson. My son and I built several of the engines shown in that image, even if they insisted on putting a few Hackworth engines in there for some reason. But I digress. As you can see, my son and I changed the world in ways that could never have been imagined. Railways shrunk the globe and brought all of us together, connected our peoples, and changed the world forever."
"What about the stained glass windows?" Misty asked.
George smiled again. "I cannot simply tell you the answers. But I can give you clues to guide you to the answers. When the world is in danger, it has ways of finding heroes to stand against the darkness. And many have answered the call. This space shall always remain as a space for you to learn more, Mary Blossomforth."
"I tend to go by Misty," Misty replied.
"Very well, Misty. I trust time shall bring you to this place once more in the future."
Sunny stepped into another room, this one with a large command terminal in the centre. But sitting there was the last person she'd been expecting to see.
Opaline looked up from the command terminal, a cruel smile on her face. "Fancy seeing you here," she said. "I figured you'd follow in my footsteps eventually."
Sunny looked at her coldly. "Me and you are nothing alike, Opaline!"
"You and I," Opaline corrected, rolling her eyes as she did so. "No wonder you can't speak proper English when both your parents are Yanks."
"SHUT UP!" Sunny snapped. This woman insulting her parents for having American ancestry had touched a rather raw nerve.
Opaline snorted. "Or what? You're going to run crying to mommy? You've certainly inherited her temper if nothing else." She looked coldly into Sunny's eyes. "Admit it, Sunny. You're a daddy's girl, desperate for their approval and craving companionship."
Sunny returned with an equally cold look of her own, although Opaline didn't seem intimidated. "They made me who I am, and showed nothing but compassion and love-two emotions you cannot understand. You've lost. You tried to mess with my head and you failed!"
Opaline laughed. "Tried? I'm practically living rent free in your head. You have nightmares of me. You're scared you'll become me. I will be with you until the day you die!"
Something in Sunny snapped, and before she knew what was happening she was blasting the room with energy beams. "SHUT UP! SHUT UP! JUST SHUT THE HELL UP!"
"Sunny, who are you talking to?"
Sunny swung round to see Zipp standing there. She looked down, panting heavily, and realised the energy sheen was surrounding her. She powered down, sighing. "Opaline was in here. It must have been my mind playing tricks on me, or is she finding a way to mess with my head again?"
"We'll be here for you, no matter what," Zipp said. "I found something interesting on the terminal. There's a painting in here showing a very old steam loco, and according to the records an object is being kept in one of the other rooms. Let's go check it out."
Sure enough, they walked into another room- and their jaws dropped.
"Is that what I think it is?" Zipp asked. "Is that the engine we saw in Trevithick's workshop?"
"No, it's the one after," Sunny said. "It's the Penydarren Locomotive! But I thought it hadn't survived!"
"Not according to this inscription," Zipp said. "The message at the bottom implies it's out there, somewhere."
"This is the find of the century if so," Sunny said. "Let's get this painting out of here and to a safe place."
"That might be a challenge, Sunny. Look how tall it is!"
Carrying the tall painting was a bit of a tall order, if you'll excuse the pun. Its awkward shape and heavy weight made it hard to carry. But soon they got it to a lift, and soon they were on the surface.
When they returned home, moving the painting on a trolley, Misty showed them what she had found (although George Stephenson was curiously absent). Zipp looked at the stained glass windows in amazement. "There were others before us," she said. "Thomas and his friends were just among them."
"Since the dawn of the steam age, engines have come together as heroes," Sunny said. "This changes everything!"
Zipp smiled. "Then they are still out there. And we are going to find them, together."
Neither of them noticed the painting they had recovered shimmering out of view.
Author's Note
This chapter combines the plotlines of The Lone Alicorn and Mysterious New Room , both episodes of the second season of Tell your Tale . The original stories both tap into themes of existential dread, and as such it seemed like a fitting way to set up the next major arc.
The opening nightmare sequence is loosely based on The Last Tiger, the final story of the video game Battlefield V. This segment tells the story of a group of disillusioned German soldiers in the final days of WW2 and does an excellent job of capturing the sheer hopelessness of the dying days of the war for Germany- not to mention the heartwrenching ending (which I will not spoil if you haven't played it).
Opaline's wall of bullet hole pictures is a reference to the antics of Chris Chan. Back in 2007, Sony of America held a competition to promote the video game PaRappa the Rapper , which required contestants to perform one of the songs from the game and submit it to a board of judges; whomever won would get an all-expenses-paid trip to Seattle to visit the Penny Arcade Game Expo. Chris, who was wanting to push his friendship with a girl called Megan Schroeder in a more romantic direction, entered in the hope of winning, believing that a trip to Seattle would finally convince Megan to be his girlfriend. Chris' entry was, put bluntly, terrible:
Not surprisingly, he didn't win. Because Chris is an incredibly bad loser, he responded by plastering the internet in angry rants, including a video where he shot a photo of the contest winner with a pellet gun. In the nearly two decades since, he still hasn't sorted out his anger issues, if his reaction to MLP G5 is anything to go by.
Although not as famous as his son Robert, George Stephenson is often described as 'the father of the railways.' Although he did not invent the steam locomotive he was an early advocate of their use instead of horses, and he helped to develop many elements of railways we know today. These innovations include standard gauge (selected based on the average width of cart axles), ballast (utilised to help the Liverpool & Manchester cross Chat Moss), and even the modern layout of the steam locomotive! His son would go on to develop many of his ideas, and his creations did indeed change the world.
And last, but not least, the very first commercially utilised steam engine itself. The Penydarren locomotive was built in 1804 to work a tramway in South Wales, succesfully pulling twelve tons of coal and five wagons along the length of the line at the somewhat pedestrian speed of 2.5 mph. Trevithick didn't know it at the time, but his creation had forever changed the course of history. The original no longer exists, but many replicas have been built; the one shown above can be found in the National Waterfront Museum in Swansea, Wales.
And so, we shall take a bit of a break for a while, but fear not-this isn't the last we've seen of these characters!
Thomas and Friends: Tales from the Mainland Volume 4
This story is dedicated in memory of Britt Allcroft (1943-2024), without whom none of Thomas' adventures would have been brought to the screen.
Fimfiction Proudly Presents
An Anthology by The Blue EM2
Sponsored by the Guild of Equestrian Railroaders
And Based on an Idea by Thomlight Sparkle
Starring the Voices of:
Vanessa Hudgens
Kimiko Glenn
Sofia Carson
Liza Koshy
James Marsden
Jane Krakowski
Michael McKean
Tara Strong
Bahia Watson
Keith Whickam
Rachel Miller
Theresa Gallagher
Richard Hammond
Jeremy Clarkson
James May
Richard E. Grant
Julie Lemiux
And Charles Dance
Animation by Boulder Media and Arc Productions
Model Effects and Sequences recorded at Ellstree Studios
A Hasbro and Mattel Co-Production, Copyright MMXXV
Thomas and Friends: Tales from the Mainland Volume 4
CAST- IN ORDER OF APPEARANCE
Liza Koshy - Zipp Storm
