Chapters Shao Kahn tries to invade Equestria repeatedly.
Shao Kahn sat on his throne being the all mighty ruler of Outworld, while really enforcing no laws other than throwing random people in jail and no underwear on your heads. He sat there staring at everything, he owned it all. It made him feel like acting like a big D-Bag to everyone around him.
But then, he realized, "Wait, I been killed three times... How am I here?"
Silence fell upon the room, as his minions were waiting around. Then Shang Tsung replied "You know, I think i've died about thirty times now, you get used to suddenly realizing your alive again."
Baraka added "On another note good sir, I suggest that we investigate this particular phenomenon and discover how this reincarnation happens and why."
Everyone stared at Baraka, when Suddenly Shao Kahn said "I shall invade a new Realm!"
He then turned to the wall and shouted, "Quan Chi!"
Quan Chi appeared out of nowhere, "Yes?"
"Find a realm full of weak creatures so I can conquer it!"
Quan Chi replied with, "Hmm, I think I might know of one. I have been recently scouting around in this strange realm called Equestria..."
Suddenly, Shang Tsung yelled
"EQUESTRIAOHMAHGAWSILOVEMYLITTLEPONYANDTHATISTHELANDTHEYLIVEINIMUSTSEEITNOWLET'SGOBRONIESFOREVER YEEEEEEAAAAAA!"
Shao Kahn killed him on the spot, and he reappeared in bed with some old hag named Gruntilda Winkybunion.
Shao Kahn then thought for a moment, "Alright, I shall send Goro there to investigate for a place to start our first 'settlement' in this land."
Quan Chi replied "Um, Goro? He isn't much of a..."
Shao Kahn replied in yelling "WHAT I SAY GOES!"
Quan Chi facepalmed and said "Oh my F***ing god... Alright.", And then he sucked Goro into a portal to Equestria.
Fluttershy Was feeding ducks bread in the pond behind her house. Everything was sunny, the birds were singining, Pinkie was having another musical number on the other side of town, and these ducks were being so adorable.
Fluttershy smiled as one duck swam around, and another flapped it's wings all duck-like, because it's a duck, and ducks do duck things, because they have a duck head with a duck brain that run duck thoughts that tell the duck to do duck things in a duck-like way.
Then, a huge portal appeared to her side, and Fluttershy yelped and hid behind a push.
"W-What is that?!" She said quietly, as the portal kept doing it's thing, making noise and swirling like a sir.
Then, the Portal spat out Goro like a sir, and Goro landed face first like a gentleman. He stood up and looked around, and said "What was i doing again?"
Fluttershy stared at Goro from behind the bush, and said "W-Who, What are you?!"
Goro stared at Fluttershy, "EEGAD! YELLOW PINK MANED PONY-PEGASUS!" He then began flexing his arms, "I am Goro! former champion of Mortal Kombat, and the sexiest Shokan alive!"
From a very far distance, one could hear Kintaro yelling "you wish!"
Angel then crossed his arms and said "Former champion of mortal kombat? I guess you got beat eh? "
Goro, somehow understanding Rabitlish, replied "It's better than never being champion of Mortal Kombat, such as yourself!"
Fluttershy stared at Angel walking up to Goro in horror, "Angel, don't!"
Angel ignored Fluttershy, "You think you can take this!? "
Goro glared at Angel, kneeling down to be face to face with the bunny who was minuscule in size compared to him. "Fine, I challenge you to Mortal Kombat!"
"Bring it on! " Replied Angel.
"Oh My!" yelped Fluttershy.
Goro stood back a bit, as the word "FIGHT!" appeared above him and Angel. As such, he charged at Angel and tried to smash him.
Angel in return dodged, and uppercutted Goro into the air. He then jumped at Goro in mide air and did a twelve times combo, and finished by smashing him into the ground. Angel then Smashed his elbo onto Goro's back, and jumped off ready for more.
Goro stood up rather peeved off, "You will regret that rabbit!"
Angel smiled, "Well, your not anything special, and I bet your steriods have already shrunk your junk to a size smaller than Beibers! "
Goror yelled, charged at Angel again. Angel then gut punched him, flew to the ground, nut kikced him, and finally uppercutted him into the portal for which he came.
The announcer voice then said "Flawless victory!"
Angel dusted himself off, and hopped over by Fluttershy to finish his carrot. Fluttershy was standing there with her mouth gaping, and then she passed out.
"What's wrong with her? " said Angel as he munched on the carrot.
Quan Chi was playing Wii boxing against Baraka, when suddenly Goro flew into the room from the Portal. Shao Kahn's only response was "... alright, gather the possy, were all going into there!"
Raiden was sitting around watching Twilight on his laptop when suddenly his brian recieved an email. He then opened the mental message, and was greeted with:
"Dear Raiden.
Help.
Sincerely, Equestria."
Raiden stood up, "I shall gather the others and once again disrupt their normal lives to force them to fight in Mortal Kombat! But first I shall talk to this land ruler."
He then electo-beamed to Canterlot, and made Princess Celestia spill her tea.
"Hello." said Raiden, as an awkward silence followed.
All of the Royal guards in the room stared at Raiden wide eyed, and suddenly Raided was surrounded by spears. Princess Celestia then replied "You made me spill my tea, on the clopfic I was writing!"
Raiden stared wide eyed at the spears around him, and replied "I am here to discuss the protection of your realm.
Princess Celestia eyed Raiden, "I have my student and her friends for that, not to mention Discord too."
Raiden replied "But this is not about what protection you currently have, as it will not be enough against Shao Kahn! I offer my services to help you ward off any invasions he send here!"
Princess Celestia raised an eyebrow, "Last guy that said that stabbed me thirty seven times in the chest."
Raiden replied "... What?!"
Celestia chuckled, "I'm just messing with you. But this Shao Kahn guy? Trust me, the local population can handle it."
Raiden then said "You rely too much on your population. Let me set up a Mortal Kombat tournament were my realms best warriors and your realms best warriors will defend this land from Shao Kahn."
Princess Celestia was about to tell him off, until she thought about how she could use this 'tournament', to teach Twilight a lesson about Gak.
"Alright, you do whatever it is you want to do." said Celestia as she picked up her quill.
Raiden bowed, then vanished, leaving Celestia to her professional writing.
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Shao Kahn tries to invade Equestria repeatedly.
It is time, for tea, then BLOOOOOOOOOOOD, Ra!
Twilight stood in her doorway in complete confusion. There standing in front of her was Fluttershy, in complete panic.
"I-I-I Don't know were it came from but it was huge and had muscles and was threatening stuff A-A-And was scary t-t-then Angel j-just beat the crap out of it and it vanished!!!!!" Slurred Fluttershy.
Twilight thought for a second, "Can you describe what this creature looked like? Did it come out of the forest?"
Fluttershy scratched her head, "Um, it was big, standing on two legs, and had four others it was holding out like those 'arms' from that book Lyra is always borrowing. I-I don;t think it came from the forest, there was a big, flashing, portal thing."
Twilight replied "Alright, come inside, I am going to test your blood quick to see if you have gotten into something."
Fluttershy came in slowly, "Like, what?"
Twilight trotted toward her lab, "Oh, just, uhh shrooms, maybe, you can never be too sure."
Fluttershy gasped, "TWILIGHT! You know I quick putting that stuff in my tea when I figured out it was causing the world to get really distorted."
Twilight shrugged, "Never know, maybe Discord put something in your tea."
Fluttershy gasped again, "Twilight! Why don't you trust any pony today? I know what I saw, and that was a large muscular self proclaimed sexy 'shokan' getting his butt handed to him by Angel Bunny!"
Twilight turned back to Fluttershy, "Look, unless some portal opens behind me..." Which one did, "and spits out some never before seen creature," of which happened as well, "AND this creature was some sorcerer from Hell," Which it was, "I will not believe you until I see it."
Then Twilight turned around to see Quan Chi standing up.
"..." said Twilight, although as an author I probably should have wrote 'She was speechless', but I am too lazy to correct that or make a quality story involving Mortal Kombat.
"Hello" said Quan Chi in an evil malicious tone as always.
Fluttershy then said, "Does this mean i'm not high on shrooms?"
Twilight shook her head, and looked at Quan Chi again, then replied "FLUTTERSY! What did you put in my drink?!"
"You didn't have a drink!" replied Fluttershy, "I mean, if that's fine with you."
Quan Chi stared at the Pegasus and Unicorn building up that they are accusing each other of being druggies. So he said "Are you Miss Twilight Sparkle? I hope I didn't end up in the wrong house again, last time I gave some bimbo the key to the merging of the realms..."
Twilight backed from Quan Chi a bit and slowly picked a big book of words up with her magic, "Yes..."
Quan Chi sighed, "Alright, I am here to ask you to tell your Princess to formally surrender her world to Shao Kahn immediately or we will kill everybody, with thumb tacks."
Twilight and Fluttershy stared at him wide eyed, and to each other. Twilight then opened her mouth trying to think of something to say, before Fluttershy beat him over the head with a chair.
"FLUTTERSHY?!" yelped Twilight.
Fluttershy held fragments of the chair in her hooves breathing heavily staring down at Quan Chi like she was about to rip his heart out all gorily and eat it. With a gasp she looked at Twilight, and backed away slowly.
"Oh no! Please don't tell me I have to hide another one!" she said aloud.
Twilight then felt Quan Chi's pulse, and he was still alive, in one way.
"He's alive... and what do you mean another one?" asked Twilight whilst she readied the big book of words again
Fluttershy stuttered, "Well... My parents line of work could be considered, questionable..." She then was saved from an explanation when Raiden Burst into the window. "Oh look, a distraction!"
Twilight glared at Raiden, as Spike ran Downstairs hearing the crash. Although how he herd that and not the yelling and chair smashing is beyond me.
Spike then yelled "TWILIGHT! Who is that dead evil looking guy!? And who is that guy standing by the window?! And why is Fluttershy here?! And why is the cookie I left on the counter missing?!?!?!"
Twilight replied "I don't know."
Suddenly, Pheonix Wright burst in, "You LIE!", and vanished.
Spike then yelled, "I know you did it! How could you?! To your own dragon!"
Twilight replied with tears a flowing, "It was just too tasty looking! And I ran out of sugar cubes, and, I'M A MONSTER!"
Fluttershy replied, "Oh, I thought I was the only one."
Raiden then said, "Oh no! Shao Kahn has already begun! I must set up Mortal Kombat quickly!"
Twilight then got back on topic with Raiden, "Who is this Shao Kahn, and what tournament?"
Raiden replied "Shao Kahn is a bad guy. Like one of those REALLY obviously bad dude you see in movies, who is always on the throne, and surrounded by evil looking stuff. Just like Skeletor from He Man. And Mortal Kombat is the bureaucracy of the Elder gods to give realms a fighting chance against Shoa Kahn. And just like normal Bureaucracy, a lot of people are killed in it."
Twilight stared at Raiden, "Why didn't you go to the Princess about this?"
"I did" replied Raiden.
Spike then burped up a letter and Twilight ripped it toward herself and read it aloud.
Dear Twilight Sparkle, my faithful student. Some guy in a straw hat thing will be bursting into your home and invading your privacy to force you to help him set up this Mortal Kombat tournament in Ponyville. I honestly didn't bother to read up on it, but I will be personally attending to be entertianed.
Also, some bad dude is trying to take over or something, and this is somehow related to that, so figure it out.
PS: I attached a tube of gak to aid in your quest.
PPS: Make sure your report to me on this issue involves a lot of gak, possibly blood mixed in gak, but gak all the same.
Sincerely, me.
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Shao Kahn tries to invade Equestria repeatedly.
The training time that totally should not be cut from a little girls show.
A few hours passed, as Twilight was incapable of getting a explanation from Raiden. Then somehow, she, Fluttershy, and Raiden ended up in the hedge maze.
"This spot is perfect!" announced Raiden.
Twilight panted, and replied "Best, spot, for, what?"
Raiden replied "THE MORTAL KOMBAT TOURNAMENT!"
Suddenly, a large arena facility similar to those in the original Mortal Kombat area fell into the middle of the hedge maze.
Fluttershy shrieked, and said "Were did that come from?!"
Raiden replied "The Elder Gods! HOOHA!"
Twilight sighed, "LOOK! What do you need, so I can go home and forget about this?"
Raiden turned to Twilight, "Gather your finest warriors and meet me here to train before the tournament!"
When suddenly, Pinkie Pie.
"I'LL DO IT!" said Pinkie Pie.
Raiden replied "Good! anyone else?"
Suddenly, Discord appeared, snapped his fingers, and made Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Derpy Hooves, and Featherwieght appear. Then Discord vanished.
Raiden looked at the group, and said "PERFECT! Now for your mentors!"
Suddenly, Raiden launched lighting to the side, and made a magic portal appear. From the portal flew Lui Kang face first, folloed by Johnny Cage landing like a BOSS, Sonya jumping in like a normal person, Kung Lao jumping through like a SIR, Sub Zero jumping out, Jax landing with a punch to the ground for no good reason, Kitana flying through and landing on her BUM, and Kensi landing through.
Twilight stared at the group, and said, "CRAP! I left that guy in my house!"
------------------MEANWHILE, In the Library---------------------
"AAAH!" Yelled Spike as he dodged a soul skull thing.
Quan Chi chanted something as he formed a ball of green magic, "Come out Spyro! I WILL turn you into a crystal!"
Spike hide behind a wall and replied "WERE DID YOU COME FROM?! WHO IS SPYRO?!"
Quan chi fired a blast, which exploded a junk of the Library. In response, Spike ran for his life through the hole and down the street. Quan Chi jumped out as well, and created a dozen magic skeletons.
"You, WILL, DIE!" yelled Quan chi as his necro'd skeletons charged down the street after Spike.
------------------Back to the IMPORTANT stuff--------------------
Raiden had his militia of sorts lined up, and the ponies Discord chose randomly lined up on the other side.
"We will once again be facing Shao Kahn!" said Raiden, as everyone stood like cliche'd movie military people.
Rainbow Dash raised her hoof "Is this mission dangerous? I like danger!"
Raiden replied "This WILL be very dangerous."
Fluttershy asked "But... I need to-"
Raiden cut Fluttershy off "Now let's go kick their butts!"
Twilight sighed, "That was a VERY crappy speech."
Raiden Lui Kang jumped infront of twilight and did a whole lot of fancy kicks and moves at the air before saying, "You will give master Raiden his RESPECT!"
Applejack asked "What are you? His worshiper?"
Johnny Cage responded "Well, he is a god."
Discord appeared, "Blasphemy, your lucky I don't smite you or cast you out or something." and he vanished.
Raiden then waved his hand "Lui Kang, clam down, Johnny, all of your lines are like grinding my ears into a meat grinder, in hell. But non of that matters, we must begin, TRAINING!"
Rarity replied "Training? I'm sorry but a lady MUST-"
Raiden then yelled "BLASPHEMY!" and zapped Rarity's hair so it was all messed up, "You have no need to worry about your look now! Let's pair up!"
Rarity began crying, and Pinkie yelled "HEY! you can't do that!"
Raiden replied "Oh, I can't it's against the law... oh well."
Then everyone paired up, Featherwieght with Jax, Twilight with Raiden, Fluttershy with Sub Zero, Pinkie Pie with Kung Lao, Rainbow Dash with Lui Kang, Rarity with Sonya Blade, Applejack with Kitana, and Derpy Hooves with Johnny Cage.
"NOW SPARE!" yelled Raiden, as he prepared to fight Twilight.
Twilight stared at Raiden, "Look, I need-"
Raiden then punched Twilight in the face, so Twilight growled back.
"That'st it!" yelled Twilight, as she blasted Raiden with a spell that flew him around the world three times until he crash back infront of Twilight.
Raiden slowly tapped the ground, "You... *Cough*... win..."
Johnny Cage stared at his sparing mate, Derpy Hooves, and said "Look, I don't want to hurt you, so I will start easy. but if you want, I can do a few tricks from my movies."
Derpy hooves stared blankly, then gave a battle cry as she jumped on Johnny and repeatedly punched him in the face.
Meanwhile, Jax was having the most epic arm wrestling tournament with Featherweight. They were in dead head, as sparks began to fly out of Jax's bionic arms, and Featherweight sweated violently. Then, Featherweight smashed Jax's arm down, and yelled "YEEAAAAHH!"
Jax hit the table, "Your one tough nugget!"
Over were Fluttershy was supposed to be Sparing with Sub Zero, they were having a tea talk time.
Sub Zero sipped some tea, and said "Yea, my clan expects me to deal with everything! But, I have a life to, at least I used to. My girlfriend left me because the Clan was always making me kill people. You know, My brother got killed by Scorpion! AIN't NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT!"
Fluttershy sipped some tea, "Yeah, I totally understand, maybe you should talk with you Clan, and get vacation time. I'm sure there is a local Union that can help."
Sub Zero nodded "You know, you understand me very well. Brohoof?"
Fluttershy smiled and returned the Brohoof, "Brohoof."
Over were Kung Lao and Pinkie Pie were sparring, Pinkie Pie was making Kung Lao insane.
"AAHH! HEEYA! YATADA!" Yelled Kung Lao as he repeatedly tried to kick, punch, and throw his hat at Pinkie Pie, all without success.
Pinkie jumped around dodging everything, and eventually Kung Lao stopped and began gasping for air heavily.
Pinkie π looked Kung Lao in the face "Are you done yet?"
Kung Lao yelled, and punched, but missed again and span to the ground, seemingly passed out.
When suddenly everyone heard a bang, and looked to see Rainbow Dash knocking Lui Kang into the air, using a cloud to zap him with lightning, and bucking him to the ground.
Kitana stared at the spectacle with her mouth gaping, when she received a kick to the face and flew to the side by Applejack.
Kitana spat some blood out of her mouth, "Your good, but I will beat you in this mild sparing session!"
Kitana then proceeded to charged at Applejack and begin slicing at her with her fans.
Applejack dogded repeatedly, "Look lady! Ah just want to finish this tournament quickly and get back to the farm. So if you'll just put your sharp things away and tap out..."
Kitana then cut of the end of applejacks tail.
"Alright, y'all chose the hard way." said Applejack, as she simply bucked Kitana to the other side of the arena.
Meanwhile Lui Kang was attempting a bicycle kick on Rainbow Dash, but she simply uppercutting him to the air, and punched him to the ground.
Sonya was currently trying to fight Rarity, but Rarity used a spell on her the put her in a dress that made it REALLY hard to move.
"DAMMIT PONY!" yelled Sonya, "I am an agent of the Military! Now get me back in my normal attire!"
Rarity put her hoof to her chin, "I don't know, you look MUCh better this way..."
Sonya then proceeded to punch Rarity, and was simply bitch-slapped to the heavens.
So all in all, the ponies wiped the floor with Earthrealms forces in the sparing matches, proving they could handle themselves.
Raiden staggered toward Twilight, "Alright... You all are ready..."
Twilight asked "Ready for what?"
Raiden looked to the side, another portal had opened, of which, will be seen next time!
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Shao Kahn tries to invade Equestria repeatedly.
Celestia your rosin' up your bow and play your fiddle hard, cause Outworlds's broke loose in Equestria and Shao Kahn deals the cards.
As the portal did it's swirly portal things, Princess Celestia and Princess Luna came on Carriages from Canterlot. They then got out and went up the the royal spectating seats.
"HI twilight! we thought it would be fun to watch you and your friends learn lessons about Gak and fighting in person." said Princess Celestia as she eyed all of Earthrealms beat up forces, "It seams your doing well."
Twilight waved unsrely, when suddenly Luna Shouted "WE SHALL GAZE AT AND ENJOY THIS SPORTING EVENT AND HAVE SPORTING EVEN CONCESSIONS!"
Suddenly, Discord appeared, and made a bunch of random ponies appear in the seats. Then he disappeared.
Raiden then turned to Twilight, Derpy, Featherweight, and the rest of the Mane six, "Shao Kahn will be here to fight any moment now..."
Suddenly, the portal that was doing it's thing spat out Shao Kahn, who only help a single box.
Everyone stared at him blankly, as Raiden asked, "Shao Kahn, were are your minions?"
Shao Kahn laughed, "Did you not read the new Mortal Kombat contract? It say Right here," Shao Kahn waved a contract in Raiden's face, "That the first contest shall be a fiddlin' contest with the leader of the realm I am invading. This means if dat der princess can't beat me playing the fiddle, I win by default."
Raiden stared at the contract. The line wasn't even in fine print. It was actually highlighted and bolded. He then turned to Celestia and said, "I made a contract doodie... I cannot help you, as I have very little musical knowledge."
Princess Celestia sighed, she did not want to have to bring up her old hillbilly roots from before she and Luna beat Discord. But in all reality she and Luna were inherently rednecks, they just kept it hidden.
"I got this." Said Princess Celestia, "Dear Sister, get out B.O.B."
Luna smiled, and ran to the carriage and pulled out a Violin box. Princess Celestia flew from her stand and landed next to Twilight, who said "But Princess! How will you beat him?! Fiddle's are for rednecks!"
Princess Celestia replied as Luna tossed her the violin box, "Twilight, remember the lesson don;t judge a book by it's cover? Take a look and see what I mean."
Applejack replied, "No offense princess, but even Ah can't play a fiddle that well, how can y'all plan on beting him?"
Princess Celestia opened the case with magic, and pulled out an EPIC fiddle, with designs b based off of all the star alignments in the sky. And on the side it read "Big. O. Blaster".
Suddenly, Discord appeared and made the Charlie Daniels band appear, as they began playing 'The Devil went down to Goergia' without lyrics.
Shao Kahn was in a bind and realized he was way behind and looking for a soul to steal, and he was willing to make a deal. So he laughed and jumped up on an old Hickory stump and said "Girl let me tell you what!"
Shao Kahn pulled out his fiddle that had designs of the Devil on it, "I guess you didn't know it but I'm a pretty good fiddle player too. And if you'd care to take a dare i'd make a bet with you! Now you play a pretty good fiddle girl but give the King his due, I'll bet a fiddle of gold against your soul cause I think I'm better than you!"
Princess Celestia replied "My name's Celestia and it might be stupid, but i'll take your bet and your gonna regret cause I'm the best there's ever been!"
Suddenly Discord appeared with a Microphone and golden fiddle as he sang "Celestia your rosin' up your bow and play your fiddle hard! Cause Outworlds broke loose in Equestria and Shao Kahn deals the cards! And if you win you get this shiny fiddle made of gold But if you loose Shao Kahn get's your SOUL!"
Shao Kahn picked up his fiddle and said "I guess I'll start this show." and fire flew from his fingertips as he rosined up his bow. And he pulled the bow acros the strings and it made an evil hiss! And a band of Tarcatans joined in and it sounded something like this:
The Tarcatans played vigorously and it sounded a WHOLE HELL OF A LOT like the Devil's part from Devil Went Down to Goergia.
When Shao Kahn finished Celestia said "Well your pretty good old son! But sit down right in that chair and lemme show you how it's done!"
Luna cheered as Celestia began playing, "Lightning on the cloud fly pegasus fly! The kings in the house at the rising sun! Scootallo in a bread pan picking out dough! Granny Smith does your dog bite? No child no!"
Celestia then rocked that fiddle hard and played epically to the surprise of everypony and human. Luna just sat there and said "We still practice in the sound prove rooms sometimes.
Shao Kahn bowed his head cause he knew that he'd been beat. So he layed that golden fiddle on the ground at Celestia's feat.
Celestia said "Shao Kahn just come on back if yah ever want to try again. Cause I told you once you son of a b**** I'm the best there's ever been!"
Shao Kahn began rolling on the ground crying as Celestia continued enjoying her fiddle playing. Then Luna Joined in and grabbed the golden fiddle as she, Celestia, and Discord played: "Lightning on the cloud fly pegasus fly! The kings in the house at the rising sun! Scootaloo in the bread pan picking out dough! Granny Smith does your dog bite? No child no!"
And that was the awesomest day in Equestrian history.
