Chapters Be you, Be Anonymous. The Spookiest, scariest, and snorkiest fellow in all of FRANCE, and also some providences of Sweden. Unfortuantly for you, Sweden and France are several thousands of miles away, so in Canterberg, you're kind of a loser. However, that all changes tonight! You quickly review over what happened this morning at your school of oddly all recently turned 18 classmates had told you.
You remember this morning, just like it was this morning...You were sitting with your arms crossed and your legs up on an empty chair during your remedial English course, because when are you ever going to need English in your adult world? You feel a poke to your back, and see a gray coloured girl with a funny eye wink at you. Or maybe she was winking at the chalkboard, its hard to tell with her. She hands you a letter, and being the totally paitent Anon that you are, you rip it open hastily, and begin reading aloud with your greatest bravado that would've made Shakesphere get up from his throne of acting, and cry tears of faggotry.
"DEAREST ANON! WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO THE HAUNTED KARNIVAL WITH ME?"
You get down from your proverbial soapbox, and kneel before the gray skinned girl. You take her hand, and quickly pronounce.
"OF COURSE M'LADY! I SHALL ACCOMPANY YOU ON THIS NIGHT!"
She quickly blushes, and runs out of the classroom in embaressment.
And that's the story of how you don't have a date for tonight.You quickly adorn yourself in the same outfit that you normally wear to work at Big Jim's Hot Doggorium, because what is more horrifying than a young adult stuck in a position that pays barely above the minimal wage? You quickly grab your wallet which has the SpectreBlaster logo on it, as you head out your bedroom door.
You quickly run downstairs and peek out your window, and take a deep breath of contentment. Ahh...Ghost Hannakuh... its truly the greatest of Holidays, the ladies dressing slutty, you can even count how many sexy costumes there are. Sexy Nurses, Sexy Nuns, even Sexy Social Workers! Oh wait, that's that Ms Harshwintrom lady...You can't help your own hotdog, you burst out of your door and proudly announce to the night sky.
"PREPARE YOURSELVES LADIES! BECAUSE KING WEINER IS HERE! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
You suddenly feel a poke in your back, you quickly turn around and see Applejack looking at you with a bit of a grin on her face, in her incredibly sexy maid costume.
"Gosh Anon, I barely even recognized ya underneath all that meat!" Applejack laughed as she crossed her arms and pantyhosed legs. Fucking unf, the way she is holding her feather duster is making you think of several adult things, like signing tax forms in the nude with her.
"What's ta matter Anon? Cat got yer tongue?" She giggles as she shoves the feather duster right in your face.
"Uh... yeah, I guess...." You blush with an intensity that matched up to the ketchup stains on your shirt.
"So you're a... sexy...maid this year?" You state, slowly spilling spaghetti from yo' bun.
"Yeah, I ain't much of a fan of it. I just wanted to go in mah work uniform, but Fluttershy said this one time of the year where men will ogle you and are guarenteed to get some dicking." Applejack sighed as she pushed down on her skirt,
"This thing's such a pain, I swear muh buns are hanging out."
You quickly feel your relish boiling as she spins around, and showing physical evidence to her claim, indeed, her applicious buns were indeed visible.
"Anyway, I was thinking 'bout headed down to the Haunted Karnival, are ya going with anyone Anon?"
You quickly take her hand and look her in her incredibly wide eyes as you stare lustful daggers into her being.
"I would love to, my incredibly sexy milliefeu"
Applejack quickly knocks your hand off her shoulder, and brushes it with her feather duster.
"Ah AH AH! Speakin in fancy doesn't give ya the privelage of dirtying up mah duds Anon."
She winks at you as she wiggles her rear toward your radiating warmth of hot dogginess.
"Besides, ya gotta work to get the candy apple you wiener."
You try your best not to make a 'Bobbing for Apples' joke.
You quickly pull her to your side and hold your arm out to the Ghost Hannakuh sky and smile.
"Well, we'll be the toast of the Karnival love! Me and you! Hot Dog and Maid! Let's go cut a rug!"
"Yeah! Let's do it pardner!" Applejack pumps her fist in the air as she hugs you slightly.
You take one step into the road and are hit by a 16 wheeler truck that immediately splashes your internal organs, skin, and hotdog uniform all over Applejack's maid costume. Applejack just stares silent in a moment of shock, before she falls to the ground and screams at the pile of mush that remained of your body.
"ANOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!"
The point is probably Moot
"Ow, my entire body. That really fucking hurt." You state, holding your head. Well, you would've, if your hand hadn't gone right through your head. You don't remember being able to do that, well except for that one time you totally dropped acid and tripped balls. You look down and see Applejack covered in blood, crying over a pile of something that looked like raw ground meat. Huh, that's weird, you were standing next to her just a moment ago. You notice something that makes your stomach fall right out of your feet, you notice your stomach underneath a scrap of hotdog costume in the pile of mush. Oh man, Big Jim is going to KILL you, that costume cost you your entire first month paycheck....wait, WAIT!
HE CAN'T KILL YOU! YOU'RE ALREADY DEAD! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Okay okay okay okay okay okay, what do you do? You see Applejack crying over your body, you see a doll next to her, a dog licking up your entrails and bodily mush. Maybe you can posses one of these, You see an incredibly ugly, yet wealthy Jewish man walking down the sidewalk, happily juggling a bag of shekels between his unwashed hands in his magical fairy princess tutu. Enh, could be worse.
You zerg rush toward the incredibly ugly Jewish man, and slip into him like it was a meaty sort of suit. You could feel your arms coming to life, your eyes through his eyes, My god. There's feminist slogans, and shekels everywhere! This is truly the worst kind of hell you could ever imagine. Suddenly, you feel a booming voice echoing in your head.
"GOOD LUCK FAGGOT, I'M BEHIND 7 SOUL PROXIES, GET BANNED!" You suddenly feel a mighty hammer trying to expel you from the host. You fight back with the power of a giga nigga, smashing the proverbial ban hammer back with a mighty force as you screamed. "ROW ROW FIGHT DA POWA!"
"NOOOOOOOOOOO THIS IS LIKE ANUDDA SHOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"
Then the voice became incredibly silent, you curl your fingers and pat yourself down. You did it! You have a host to manipulate the world around you! You quickly run to Applejack and pat her on the shoulder. She turns around and screams.
She quickly pulls out pepperspray and directs toward your eyes.
"NO YOU AIN'T YA PERVVY TUTU PRINCESS, ANON IS THAT INCREDIBLY HANDSOME PILE OF BLOOD AND GUTS ON THE ROAD!" She began wailing on you with her incredibly powerful legs.
"But Applejack it IS me! I'm possessing this incredibly unattractive Jewish man just to talk to you!"
"Oh yeah?" You feel a heel on each of your wrists, you try to wriggle away and look at Applejack....oh wow.
She is standing over you, hands on her hips staring daggers right into your eyes.
"If you WERE Anon, you'd know our super secret saying that only me and him know."
She crouches down, and holds the feather duster handle against your throat.
"But if AREN'T Anon, I think that police officer over there could use a little bit of company tonight." She points to a squad car idling across the street. She stands back up, which doesn't really help your situation, since you can see the ripe netted fruit of an apple field above you.
You try your best to look at Applejack's face, and not her Applemaid nylon crotch, and you slowly begin speaking.
"Dr, Anonymous. I'm CIA."
You feel the weight of her heel lighten up from your wrist. Applejack looks back at you, and follows up.
"I didn't come alone" she says.
"You don't get to bring friends." You return almost perfectly. You feel the other wrist free itself as Applejack quickly began following through her next statement.
"They aren't my friends. They work for the masked mercenary."
You arch your back and try to stand up, unfortunatly this gets you closer to that nyloned maid crotch.
"Bane?"
Applejack begins shuddering, either from anticipation or excitement.
You quickly go for her hand. "If I take that mask off, will you die?"
She begins tearing up, slowly losing her balance. "It would be extremely painful."
You get to your feet, narrowing bypassing a face to crotch collision. "You're a big guy."
She wraps her arms around you, and begins crying. "F--fer you...."
She begins crying into your chest, as your rub her back. Looks like you convinced her, and you got a face full of apple crotch. A double win in your book.
"I can't believe it Anon, yer...alive? Dead? Just what in the heck is happening? Why are you an ugly jew?"
"I think... I'm dead, and I possessed this guy."
Applejack looked up at you, and heaved slightly. "God, yer ugly. Is there anyway to bring ya back?"
"I don't know Applejack. I don't know."
She pauses for a moment, before hugging you tightly again. "Well, at least ya ain't dead dead."
"I don't want to be a magical fairy jewish princess Applejack, Twilight already has a monopoly on that."
A random car drove down the road and the driver shouted out the window "HA!"
"Get...yer body back? How in the hay are we supposed to do that?" Applejack states, trying to keep a distance from your ugliness.
"Well, hanging around it probably won't help...maybe we should ask around."
"Whaddya mean Anon...oh..." She understands as she lifts her heel from what used to be your spleen. "Yeah, being here probably doesn't help."
And so, Applejack and you walk off downtown to see if there was anyone who knew of arcane resurrection arts, or at least an accountant who was versed in the dark arts.
MEANWHILE
"It is a good night for the son of a sheperd to enjoy merriment in his shop of random artifacts." Said a strange european man who was rocking back and forth on a rocking chair, smoking a pipe of tabacco. Unbeknowst to him, a shadow quickly rustled near the bushes near his shop. His senses picked up quickly, these were the senses of a sheperd, always alert of a wolf trying to prowl in the night.
"Allo? Who is there? Shop is closed for the night!" He states out into the darkness, continuing to rock on his chair. Suddenly, the front door bell jingles slightly, as it slams wide open.
"BSHEEEEEEEAR!" The shopkeeper states, falling off of his rocker, staring at the now open door.
"You have disgraced the son of a shepard, I'll have your eyeballs for a stew!"
He quickly ran into his shop, which was dimly light by the moonlight through his window.
"COME OUT AND FACE ME, MAN OR BEAST OF UNKNOWINGNESS!"
Suddenly, the shopkeeper felt something drag him to the wooden floor. "ERRRRRRRRRRG! NO NO NO NO NO!" His screams quickly became muffled, and soon enough, silenced. A warm glow eminated from the shop, as a sihloette of a man could be seen.
"Much better nah, much MUCH better. I thought I was stuck like that fer awhile nah." The figure sighed as he strecthed and looked down at its body, "Hmm... don't really like the look though." He quickly began wiping his hand against his arms and legs, changing them into a suit and tie, with ebony skin. "Much better, but a good lookin man, needs something...what is it?"
He looked around the shop, looking for his answer. "AHA! There we are!" He stated as he walked over, and picked up a top hat with a shrunken head adorning its center.
"A perfect chapeau, for a resurrected man!"
He quickly covers his head, and chuckles malevolently.
"Oh one more thing I guess," he slowly walks over to the door, and flips the closed sign...to OPEN.
"Now to wait for some suckers to harvest! In fact, I think I see some potential customers!"
He looks across the street, seeing an incredibly sexy maid, and an ugly fairy tutu princess with a bag of shekels in his hands. He smirks and crosses his fingers.
"Perfect."
"Anon, it's been 2 hours, and there ain't a single store open" Applejack frustratingly huffed as she held your arm. "Ah'm beginning to think we won't be able to get the old you back."
Suddenly a loud voice calls from across the street. "YOOOOOHOOOOOOOOO. Oh fellows! Are you looking for a store?"
Applejack perks up happily as do you. "C'mon Applejack, let's see if he can help!" She nods in agreement as you quickly cross the road.
"Oh you two are SUCH a lovely couple" stated the slick looking merchant. "Perhaps you could...come inside, and maybe get a fortune read?"
"Ah don't believe in such hooey, do you Anon?"
"Are you kidding? Everyone knows that fortunes aren't real!"
The salesman looks at you with a sort of blaze in his eyes as her grabs you by the collar.
"Don't you disrespect me little man! Don't you derogate or deride! You're in my world now Not your world, and I'm a man from the other side!"
Suddenly you hear a deep voice call out from inside the shop. "He's a man from the other side"
He quickly takes you and Applejack by the shoulders and pushes you inside as he continues. "That's an echo, gentlemen. Just a little parlor trick. Don't worry..."
He quickly pulls out two chairs, and forces you both down.
"Come sit down and join me.Put your minds at ease. If you relax it will enable me to do anything I please"
Applejack nudges you slightly, "Ah hope he don't mean that."
The merchant quickly grabs Applejack's chair and spins it around, as he begins throwing cards at her. "I can read your future I can change it 'round some, too I'll look deep into your heart and soul"
He quickly turns back to you and pouts. "You DO have a soul right Goldberg?"
He quickly jumps to your chair and begins flailing tarot cards in front of you.
"The cards, the cards the cards will tell The past, the present, and the future as well!"
He fans them out and points them in your direction. "The cards, the cards, just take three Take a little trip into your future with me!"
You pull out a card that shows a bag of money.
"Now you, ugly man, are from the Middle East You come from two long lines of Israelis.Your bank is high But your looks are low...You want a new look to look as good as gold."
"Short stick on the genetics huh playboy?
Now y'all gotta get change, but change takes green. You want it to be free! Have a suit you can be proud of!
"But a suit made of meat! It's the meat, it's the meat, it's the meat you need and when I looked into your future It's the meat that I see!"
"Shake my hand. Come on lad Won't you shake the poor sinner's hand?"
You look at Applejack, who looks back you. You gulp slightly as you nod at her.
You extend out your hand, and grasp the singing merchants hand.
Yes... YES!!!!" The merchant begins chuckling as he quickly flips around your chair. He pulls his face right next to yours. "Are you ready?"
The deep voices began echoing loudly within the shop. "Are you ready?"
The merchant quickly pulls out your wrist and begins cutting deeply into it, causing you a significant amount of pain. "Transformation central!"
Applejack quickly gets to her feet to stop him, but is suddenly cemented to the ground by the noxious purple vapor that was eminating in the room. The voices once more echoed the merchant's words. "Transformation central!"
The merchant pulls up your arm and watches with beastly lust in his eyes as the blood runs down your arm. "Reformation central!"
He quickly bites down on your wound, and you feel a sort of vacuum sucking you out of your body.
The merchant grabs an Action Jim Hot Dog Figureine with Action Kung Fu grip and spits some of your blood on it. "Transmogrification central!"
You feel your sight making its way into the plastic figurine.
"Can you feel it?" He laughs heartedly, you can see the look in Applejacks eyes grow to sheer terror as this is all occuring, as she and the merchant growing taller and taller.
You're changin', all right!"
He holds your plastic figurine self in his hand and smirks a giant grin compared to your miniscule self. "I hope you're satisfied".
He quickly tosses you aside, and you land right in Applejack's lap. She quickly holds you, and stares at the merchant in horror. "But if you ain't
Don't blame me!!"
He opens your previous hosts jaw, and opens his as well. I'm just a man from the other side!"
A great black aether erupts from his body, and flows into the mouth of your ugly host body."
Applejack quickly runs out of the store, with you in hand. Well fuck.
Well, you aren't exactly sure how to take this new situation on your current life. Firstly, you get invited to hang out with your incredibly, lewdly dressed crush, THEN you get hit by a tractor trailer, THEN you posses an ugly jewish man, and now here you are, reduced to 6 inches of plastic hot dog action figurine with kung fu grip. You try to move your limbs, god, it's really stiff, but you manage to make some semblence of movement. You try to lift your head, damn! It doesn't work! For some strange reason, this action figure only seems to be able to move its head side to side! You feel the frustration boiling up inside you, and you scream with all your might.
"HI THERE KIDS, I'M JIMMY THE HOT DOG, I'M READY TO GRIP THE WIENER!"
Fuck! You didn't mean to say that! You try again. "REMEMBER TO ENJOY THE TASTE OF BIG JIM'S HOT DOGS, ONLY 2.99 EACH!"
ARRRRRRRRRG! You utilize your kung fu action grip and begin gripping in anger at your lack of vocabulary.
"Damn it! I just want to talk!" you shout.
AHA! YOU DID IT! This came to much of a surprise to you, and to Applejack as you suddenly felt a falling sensation. You land against pavement, and feel nothing. You could swear you see your leg pop off and land right next to your head. Just great.
"ANON!" Applejack yells as she quickly crouches over you. "Are ya okay Anon?"
You try to sit up, but find yourself limited to basic motions, this is going to be a headache for sure. "Yeah, I'm stuck in a miniature hot dog action figure, and I'm looking at my disembodied leg. Everything is FINE AJ."
Applejack quickly picks you up and embraces you into her bosom. Oh god sweet glorious Applemaid bosom, maybe this new host does have its pluses.
"Oh God Anon, I'm so sorry! I didn't know that was gonna happen!" You could feel her teardrops hit you like crashing boulders on your shoulders. Good thing you don't feel pain or this would be excruciating.
"It's okay AJ" you muffle into her breasts. "It's not your fault we had a musical voodoo man con us into surrendering the body I had possessed and transfer my soul into this hotdog figurine. It could've happened to anyone."
Applejack quickly pulls you away from her chest at the speed of KENYANS and looks down at you with a pool of tears running down her face.
"Ya mean you don't blame me?" She asks, quivering her lip in sadness.
"Of course not, I'm just glad that you got us out of that situation." You look down and see your discombobulated leg on the pavement. "Even if I don't have a leg."
Applejack gasped and quickly grabbed the leg on the pavement. "Ah don't know how to do this Anon, but here goes!" She shoved to peg into your leg hole giggedy, and you could feel a bit of movement coming from it.
"Awesome! Thanks AJ!" You give her an action kung fu grip as a thumbs up.
"No problem, only thing being, I ain't got no pockets to carry ya in Anon, and I don't want to keep on having to put y'all back together again."
"Yeah, that's the downside to having a lewd costume Applejack, shame that Fluttershy talked you into it." You quickly move your arms, "Not that I mean I don't mind it or anything."
Applejack chuckles, and then suddenly got quiet.
"What's wrong Applejack, I was just kidding."
"It's not...that Anon, I do have an idea, but..."
You look at her quizzicially, is she...blushing?
"Ya just reminded me that I'm a maid, and well..." She looks around to see if anyone is looking at her. She brings her hand up to her mouth and whispers to you.
"Maids wear garters Anon."
"What's a garter?" You ask stupidly.
She blushes even more intensily as she lifts up her skirt slightly, revealing an orange band wrapped around her upper thigh.
"Oh. So that's a garter."
You look at her silently, and it suddenly hits you.
"WAIT, NO NO NO NO NO NO NO, I mean I like you and everything, but isn't this a bit too...I mean, like, REALLY, this is like 5th and a half base right there Applejack."
Applejack quickly pushes her skirt back down and yells at you. "WELL, DON'T CHA THINK IT'S AKWARD FOR ME TOO?"
"Can't you just, you know... put me between...you know...." You try to make a movement with your arms, pointing to her chest, however you are only really able to move them up or down.
"Huh? OH!" Applejack blushes once more, and whispers. "That WOULD work....iffin I wore...you know..."
You look at her and yell. "YOU DON'T WEAR BRAS?"
"AH HATE THE WAY THEY CONSTRICT AND CHAFE MAH APPLES ANON!" She yells at you, causing some very confused trick o' treaters to look in her direction, whispering about the crazy lady talking to a hotdog.
"Look, If I carry ya in my hands, there's a high possibility I might drop ya. I don't want ta do that, because I don't know how much you can take."
You begin to say something but she cuts you off. "AND I can't put ya..." she whispers again. "Between my boobs, cause I ain't wearing a bra. and I ain't putting ya in mah shoe neither, might kill ya for real, can't put cha in my mouth either, because I ain't chokin on ya." She stomps her foot in frustration.
"Consarn it, Iffin I had my hat, we could've avoided this whole situation, and I would've carried y'all in that!"
You try to speak up, but Applejack, seemingly being able to read your mind quickly felled your idea.
"AND NO, It's already akward enough to have you on my thigh, let alone in my drawers. Ain't happening bucko."
"But, you're wearing..." you begin.
"And JUST that...if you get my point." She quickly snips, crossing her legs in a bit of frustrated embaressment.
You stare at her nyloned legs, and start putting the pieces together. "Oh." you flatly state.
You internally smirk however, Applejack came specifically to you, in this sort of situation with the intention of spooky relations. She must really dig the shit out of you.
"So...what do we do then?" You state, trying to hold your plastic chin with your kung fu action grip hand.
"I thought we agreed, I'll...carry you on my garter...." Applejack blushed even speaking the words.
"No no no no," you start, flailing your arms. "I know that part...I just mean, what are we going to do about the whole me being a plastic hotdog man?"
"Well, I think it's outta our hands at the moment Anon, but I THINK I know someone who can help."
Please don't say Twilight, Please don't say Twilight, Please don't say Twilight.
"Twilight knows a lot about this witchcraft and science hullabaloo, maybe she'll give us a path to work with."
DAMN IT! You can just imagine Twilight poking and prodding nonstop in scientific curiosity or whatever the hell she gets off to.
"Well, I guess we don't have much of a choice then. Come on, let's get a leg up while we can."
"If ya make another joke like that, I swear I'll crush you between my thighs Anon."
"All right, All right..."
Applejack lifts up her skirt slightly, and with her free hand, pulls the garter from her thigh. You feel yourself growing closing to the nylon oneness of lewdity. Applejack pressed you against her thigh, and snaps the garter into place.
"Does it REALLY have to be the inside of your thigh AJ?" You muffle slightly.
"Don't wanna drop ya Anon, gotta keep you safe!"
That's great and all, but being stuck agianst the inner thigh of the girl you want to have relations with, with only her other nyloned thigh to look at, since unfortuantly can't move your head up, does not an easy mode of transportation make.
"You ready Anon?" Applejack asks as she takes one stride of her leg. Oh my fucking god its like being on being one of those swinging ships at 5 Banners Amusement park, except with a womans leg.
"Yeah, we're good, just take your time!" You shout back, moving your arms up and down.
She quickly stops, and you feel her other thigh press against your body. "DON'T DO THAT ANON! JUST STAND STILL."
"Sorry, didn't think about that." You muffle into her thigh. You'll have to remember that for later.
It was a semi nauesiating, yet blissful 30 minutes before your ride came to a full and complete stop. Thank freaking God, you are going to have to masterbate so freaking hard when you get back to a normal body. You can hear several voices, you're pretty sure that's Pinkie, and Fluttershy...Rarity, Rainbow Dash, and...shudder...Twilight too. Great, the gang's all here.
"Hey AJ! Thought you wouldn't make it! Not that you're missing anything, the boys are too wowed at my totally radical costume to even come talk to us." That's Rainbow Dash for sure.
"Darling, I've heard of fashionably late, but 3 hours is kind of pushing it." That would be Rarity.
"Looks like you took my advice, did Anon like it? I'd tell you how I've been doing, but SOME body keeps on scaring away the boys!" Hmm...passive aggressive, definately Fluttershy.
"OMIGOSH YOU LOOK LIKE TOTALLY HAWT APPLEJACK! I JUST WANNA GROPE YOUR BOOBIES SO BAD AAAAAAHH!" That's DEFINATELY Pinkie Pie.
"So, Applejack, how do you like the Haunted Karnival? I was in charge of the decorations this year, I'm not sure if there perfect or not, what do you think?" Ugh... there's Twilight.
"Listen girls, is it possible that we can talk somewhere private?" You heard Applejack state.
" Does it have to do with Anon?" Fluttershy asked.
"...Something like that..." You heard Applejack nervousally respond, you can picture her rubbing her neck adorably.
"OMIGOSH DID HE TOTALLY GROPE YOUR BOOBIES? YOU HAVE THE MOST GROPIEST BOOBIES IN THE WORLD, GIMMIE GIMMIE"
"PINKIE DEAR! We all can agree that Applejack does indeed have a great womanly figure, we do not need to grope our friends in public! That's what we do privately....yes?"
"...Uh..." Applejack responded.
"EW, No way, I'm so totally out of here faglords." Rainbow Dash harshly stated.
"RAINBOW! Homosexuals are people too you know! If Applejack wants to come out to us, we should be good friends and let her do so!" Twilight chided Rainbow Dash.
"ENOUGH!" Applejack yelled, and quickly lifted up her dress.
"NOT IN FRONT OF THE CHILDREN DEARY!" Rarity quickly covered Pinkie's eyes.
"I ain't flashin ya, I'm showing you want I want to talk about!"
You see the 5 curious girls all looking at you, as Rainbow begins chortling.
"Ahahaha, hey Applejack, you got a weiner between your legs."
"Very funny Rainbow, but just listen."
"You know, some girls have penis envy, and it helps them get in touch with their sexuality." Twilight began prattling.
"Umm... when I mean getting a weiner in between you AJ, I didn't mean that." Fluttershy quietly whispered.
"I think its a bold style, I might have to try it myself. CONDIMENT UNDERGARMENTS, or, something more clever than that." Rarity began prattling.
"Heeheehee, who'se a little wiener? You are, yes you are!" Pinkie began giggling, poking at your body.
"SHUT UP AND LISTEN TO APPLEJACK YOU MORONS!" You scream at them. Suddenly the prattling suddenly ceased, as you quickly see their faces again.
"Uhh...Applejack, your wiener just talked." Twilight stated, breaking the ice.
"That ain't muh wiener Twilight, it's....Anon."
WHAAA?"
"Applejack, get me outta here." You begin moving your arms trying to get her to notice you.
"All right ALL RIGHT! Jus...quit...squirming damn you!" Applejack quickly undid the garter around and held you in her palm. You brush yourself off, as you are brought out of her skirt, and into the purple and green lights of the Haunted Karnival. Wow, Canterberg really outdid themselves this year, they even got Scratch-o, the talking Mime to perform!
You look at Applejack's friends, who all have their faces looking directly at you. Fluttershy was somehow an even more sluttier maid than Applejack was. Pinkie Pie was dressed up as a German Oktoberfest waitress, complete with beersteins. Rarity was sporting this Za za Gabor meets the bride of Frankenstein look, which was both sexy AND stylish. Rainbow Dash's totally radical and awesome costume that scared the boys away....oh dear lord, WHY WOULD YOU WEAR SOMETHING LIKE THAT WOMAN? It was literally the swimsuit from Borat, no nylons, no undergarments, literally a bright neon body v suit. Jesus crap, how the hell does she stay warm? And as for Twilight, she was dressed as a NERD. AHAHAHA, oh wait, that wasn't a costume. Wait, did she seriousally think that putting on argyle nylons and cat ears is a costume? What a maroon.
"So uh yeah... This is Anon..." Applejack began, before Pinkie Pie picked you up and screamed in excitement.
"AN ANON ACTION FIGURE! LET ME PLAY WITH HIM!"
"PINKIE NO!" Applejack screamed.
"FIGHTER PILOT! ERRRRRRN DOOT DOOT DOOT DIVE BOMB!" She yelled as she swung you around like you were a plane.
"Pinkie!" Twilight yelled.
"AND THEN COMES THE GIANT FIST!" She pulls back her hand as you scream for your plastic life.
"PINKIE NO!" Applejack grabs Pinkie's fist, stopping the blow. "That's not an action figure, that's the REAL ANON, in an action figure."
"Ohhhhhh" Pinkie says, lowering her fist.
"AND THEN COMES THE GIANT FIST!" She pulls her hand back again and you scream once again.
Rarity quickly snatched you away from Pinkie's destructive hands. "Anon darling, is that really you?"
You move your arms up and down in frustration. "Yes, it is. Now please, give me back to Applejaaaaaaa---"
You were cut off as Fluttershy grabbed you and began running her finger over you. "This...is the single greatest moment of my life...EVER. I've always wanted to dominate a little tiny man, and now I have it, right here, in my hands!" She squeed as an evil look of sadism ran across her eyes.
"Applejack....PLEASE!" You begin shouting, before you are plucked by Twilight who carefully inspects you from plastic head, to plastic toe.
"This is so fascinating, you have to tell me how you accomplished this Anon! Modern day science can't even reproduce what you have done!"
"Well, I'm trying to, but you girls keep on...."
"TWILIGHT, DON'T BLOW THIS FOR ME, THIS IS MY FANTASY COME TRUE!"Fluttershy snapped at Twilight as you feel a tug on your arm.
"No, I need him FOR SCIENCE!" Twilight said, as she tugged on your other leg.
"AND THEN COMES THE GIANT FIST!" Pinkie screamed as she tried to punch you again.
"Darling please! Give him back to Applejack!" Rarity said muffled through Fluttershy's shoulders.
"Gals, come on, he's MY Anon, don't be pulling on 'im like that, he could..."
You suddenly feel your arms and leg rip apart as your limbless torso begins falling to the ground.
"...break!"
You fall to the ground, thanking god that you cannot feel pain.
"Hey, where'd Anon go everyone?" Rainbow chimed in as suddenly you see the heel of her foot descend upon you. Well shit.
You feel your head pop off, and you are staring at your torso, your two arms, and legs in scattered positions. You can't seem to get ahead today.
"CONSARN IT Y'ALL! GET HIM BACK TOGETHER NOW!"
You suddenly feel sleepy, did you reach your breaking point? Or was it the collective sight of 6 girls crotches above you?
All you knew was darkness, your old friend.
The light slowly came back to your eyes, it was a queer light, almost the shade of emerald and manilla, noted with some hues of ruby and sapphire wisps. You go to move your hand to your head, or at least you would, if you had a hand, or a head to lay it on. In fact, you didn't feel your legs either, you were awake, but you certainly weren't back to normal.
"Howdy kid." You hear a voice call out to you from the miasma of colorful fog. You see an old man with dark skin, rocking away on an old chair playing a guitar.
You move closer to him, but find yourself with every step forward, moving farther away from him. "Wait, let me talk to you?"
"Where ya headed kid?" You hear from behind you, you turn around and see him in his calm strumming, seemingly not fazed at all.
"Who...who the hell are you stranger?" You ask.
"Ruggs." he quietly speaks, continuing to pick away at his guitar, playing a soft harmony that soothed your spirit.
"You must be that spook kid that's been causing a bit of a fuss." He states underneath a twitching moustache. "Restless fellas gotta know when to have their peace kid."
"I...I'm not a kid! I'm 38 years old!" You try to put on your best nightmare fuel face, and unfortunatly it doesn't work.
"Haha, yeah. I remember the jokes kids used to play, seen plenty in my time. Now come on, get to gettin already." He stops playing his guitar and looks at you with a stony glare.
"W...where am I?" You begin to back up slightly, with a growing sensation of dread rising up in your belly.
"Look, all this takes some getting used to," he gets up from his rocking chair, and strides toward you. "And you do get used to it eventually." He raises his hand at you, and you feel an instinctual shiver of fear run down your core. You back up, but find the world around you sliding closer and closer to his outreached hand.
"G-get away from me! I don't want to go! I don't want to miss out on getting my body back" You plead.
"Yeah, there's alot of this I miss too. I miss not having to watch my back all the time. I miss, well...never mind, and lastly." He puts his hand right on your eyes and whispers.
"I miss the songs, people back there really knew how to carry a tune, sure ol' Cerebus can howl out a good melody or two, but I really miss that soul of life... not that it matters much to you troublemaker."
You feel a force glow within your core, as if warm water trickling through every synapse in your body, you feel tired and at peace. As if you were laying down to a very warm nap. Suddenly, the sensation quickly leaves you, and your vision returns.
You shake your being, and stare back at the old man, who is busy talking to something that looked like a miniature blue bag with eyes.
"Huh, so that ain't the escapee? Just some fella lost on his way?" Ruggs stated rubbing the back of his neck.
The little blue bag eye thing chirped slightly as it looked at you, before quickly diving into the sea of fog beneath you.
"W...what the hell was that?" You ask Ruggs who makes his way back to his chair.
"Hmm? Oh him? Just a friend." He sighs, picking up his guitar, and begins strumming away again.
"W-wait, I don't understand mister!" You state as the emerald manilla fog around you began to fade into a black starry sky.
"Ain't your place to understand kid, ain't your time neither."
You began falling backwards and downwards further and further away from Ruggs, spiriling down from that fog.
"Hey kid, do me a favor, if you meet up with that troublemaker, give 'im a wallop for me."
You slam your eyes open as you gasp for air. "HOOOOOOOO MY GOOOOOOOD! You move your arms up and down, twitching in your plastic figurine form.
"ANON!" You see Applejack, with tears in her eyes staring down at you. She turns around and yells "Girls! Get over here! Anon's made it back!"
You get up slightly, still stuck in the form of a plastic hotdog figurine with action kung fu grip. "Urgh.... my head."
Your complaints are quickly muffled with the glorious bosom of Applemaid chest in your face. "Ah thought ah lost ya Anon! I'm so sorry! I didn't protect you!" You nestle further deeper between her breasts as you try to muffle out your understanding, unfortunantly, the sound barriers of breast made your words inaudible.
You hear the rest of her friends cry out, "C'mon Applejack, we've got no time! Get up and get moving!" Huh? Whats going on?
Applejack gets up and starts running, you try to turn your head, but are still limited to just left and right motions. With every stride, her breasts lifted slightly, enabling you to speak, if wobbly.
"A-a-a-a-a-j-j-j-j-j, What's going on?" you ask, trying not to fall your doom between the pendulous nylon clad legs beneath you.
"Anon...well, when we tried putting you back together... some of the other fellows started acted weird."
You feel a slam of breast right in the face as Applejack turned, as if to dodge something.
"Sure, everyone is strange on Ghost Hannakuh AJ."
"Not like this Anon...people are..." She stops suddenly, pulls you from her chest and shows you what happened in the period that you were unconscious. "Well just look!"
You can't believe it!Fires are erupting everywhere, as costumed freaks are chasing after one another trying to bite and climb on top of each other.
"C'mon AJ, its just the afterparty." You say shrugging your plastic shoulders, before remembering you don't have the ability to so, so you use your kung fu action grip.
"No Anon, LOOK!" She shoves you right in the face one of the costumed freaks. You stare right into a black pool of eyeballs staring back right at you, as its mouth opened slowly, revealing a black mist eminating from its maw. It screeched as it tried to grab you from Applejack's hands.
Applejack quickly pulled you back and you both start running for your mortal (and plastic figurine) lives.
"Okay Applejack, that's definately NOT normal!"
"That's what ah was trying to tell ya Anon! When you were knocked out and knocked around, this one fellow comes up and starts getting real sick."
Applejack quickly hopped, pounding you once again in the head with her massive Apples.
"And he threw up this black stuff, at first we thought it was Twilight's terrible cooking..."
You chuckle to yourself, based fucking Applejack.
"But then, other people started gettin sick, and then they began chasing after people, and throwing up that black fog into their mouths, and then you get these soulless fellas trying to mouth rape us!"
Hmm...black fog, soulless people, mouth rape? Where have you heard of this? Wait a minute! THAT HAPPENED TO YOU TONIGHT!"
"APPLEJACK HOLD ON!" Applejack skidded to halt, dropping you slightly, but catching you by slapping you the crotch of her skirt. Nice.
She quickly holds you to her face, trying to erase the blush on her face. "What is it Anon?"
"Do you remember when I became a plastic hotdog man with kung fu action grip?"
"Yeah, how could I ferget it? That damn singing bastard....WAIT!" Her eyes suddenly got big as she gripped you tighter. "You don't think?"
"I do!" You point at her, activating your kung fu action grip. "In fact... I bet everything that that's the bastard behind all of this! He...he's the troublemaker that old fellow was talking about!" You move your arms up and down hastily, trying to emphasize your point.
"Er...what ol' fellow Anon? You didn't go anywhere!"
Suddenly the both of you hear groans and shuffling around you. You are surrounded by zombified Ghost Hannkuh patrons! THE HORROR!
"Looks like I don't have time to explain AJ, you think you can fight with me in hand?" You lift your plastic arms and flex your kung fu action grip.
"Nope!" She states, lifting her fists as well. "But don't worry Anon! I'll keep you safe!" She quickly lifts up her skirt, and lowers you toward the top of her nylons.
"No matter what the cost!" She drops you, snapping the nylon behind you. You quickly lose consciousness again at the sight of glorious apple fields.
You see Ruggs again rocking away on his chair, strumming on his guitar. "Huh? Oh its you. What brings you back here?"
You feel yourself going warm, and you look away. Ruggs chuckles a bit, "Well, I won't pry into yer business." He puts his guitar, and reaches down into the fog, as if looking for something to give to you.
He pulls out a glass sphere, and tosses it your direction. "Here kid, it ain't much, but at least you can see what's going on."
You look into the glass sphere as the static begins clearing away. You see Applejack in fighting position, ready to kick some zombie ass. You really want to cheer for her, but the numbers of zombies were growing larger and larger, 20,30, 50 zombies! There's no way she can fight off that many!
Suddenly out of nowhere, Pinkie Pie walks out of an alleyway, in a red jumpsuit, along with Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Twilight and Fluttershy. NO! Don't get yourselves killed! You morons!
The girls stand in a line, and hold each others hands. Applejack nods at them, and quickly joins them. Oh shit is this some magic of friendship macguffin they are going to pull off?
Pinkie Pie pulls out a boombox from the inside of her red jumpsuit, and presses play.
Pinkie Pie starts twitching her head, and shuffling toward the zombie crowd, her friends all following suit. The zombified crowd looks at one another in confusion at the sight, as do you as you slowly realize whats going on.
The girls began dancing like rthymic zombies, and before you know it, 5, then 10, then 25, zombies start dancing with them! The girls began clapping their hands, and side sliding, and suddenly all the zombies around them began doing the same. Pinkie suddenly began singing, "BECAUSE THIS IS FILLER! FILLER TIME! THE AUTHOR DOESN'T WANT TO WRITE, SO HE'S JUST WRITING SHITE!"
She quickly begins flipping the sky off with both of her hands.
"Yes it's filler! Filled with fright! He sucks, at his job, Tooooooniiiiiiiiiight!"
Suddenly you hear Ruggs murmers to himself as he begins to strum his guitar faster than he was previousally.
Darkness falls across the land the midnite hour is close at hand. Creatures crawling fer blood, to terrorize y'all's neighborhood and whosoever shall be found without the soul for getting down..." He gets up and opens a hole in the fog below the two of you. You look down and see a mighty maw of fiery brimstone and tooth roar as its behemoth mouth opened, releasing several fiery hounds into the night.
"Must stand and face the hounds of hell!"
You watch the hounds quickly descend on the zombified town folk, and lunge through their bodies through their back, and jumping out the front of them, with black snakes in their mouths.
You feel yourself falling back from your skyloft fog, as Ruggs waves you off again. "See ya around kid."
You quickly regain vision, quickly shutting your eyes, just in case you were in your nylon barrier cage.
"Anon, y'all can open yer eyes, you're safe."
"I know I'm safe, I just...well," You quickly move your arms up and down, huh no reaction. Guess your safe. You open your eyes and see a very confused crowd of costumed Ghost Hannakuh goers, wondering why their costumes were ripped however most of them shrugged their shoulders and began making out, and mounting each other.
Pinkie Pie sighed as she looked at the ongoing depravity, "Aww...Ghost Hannakuh after parties are the BEST!" She quickly takes off her red jump suit and jumps right into the crowd of depravity. "CANNONBAAAAAAAAAALLLLLL!"
"Wait for me Pinkie!" Fluttershy wailed as she quickly followed her pink nude friend.
You look at Twilight, Rarity and Rainbow Dash, "At least you all will still help me get back my body and defeat the big boss right?" You say, crossing your arms.
"Uhh yeah... I think I see a guy over there who totally needs help with tying his shoe. Good luck Anon!" Rainbow quickly tugs at her V-suit and shouts into the crowd. "LET'S RUN A TRAIN FELLOWS! ME ON TOP!"
"Rarity? You certainly can't approve of this!" You say, to where Rarity WAS standing just a moment ago. You hear her respond from the pile of costumed orgy sex party of sexiness. "I LOVE SUCKING COCKS!"
Twilight pokes you and giggles. "Don't worry Anon, I'm still here!"
Yeah... fuck that, you quickly yell at the writhing mass of copulating young adults. "OI! HOT NERD WITH CAT EARS HERE!"
Suddenly Twilight was tackled by two 300 pound gentlemen wearing fedoras and smelling highly of Cheeto, who were muttering about being called Sempai and Onii-chan.
You look up at Applejack, "Well, I guess its up to us." She looks down at you, and taps her heel at you, crossing her arms, shifting her weight to one leg. Oh jeez, don't tell me she's a fan of the after party scene too.
She crouches down and picks you up your arm and smirks at you. "Yer lucky I like yer old body, ya wiener."
She holds you close to her chest and embraces you, as you make your way to the shop that transformed you into a 6 inch weiner between Applejack's apples for a showdown with that singing bastard.
Applejack quickly runs with you in tow to the shop where you transformed into a plastic wiener, which was still oddly open. But something seems incredibly different , perhaps its the black fog eminating from the door, or maybe it was the green and purple lights sparking on and off from the inside. Whatever it was, you had to face it, you tug at Applejack's hair.
She looked down at you, and gulped. "Yeah, let's do this!" She takes a deep breath and makes her way through the front door. You both cough and wave your arms to fan the noxious fog from your faces.
"Come out...cough... ya coward!" Applejack yells, gagging on the fumes.
"Yeah! Nobody turns me into a wiener and gets away with it!" You state, using your kung fu action grip.
You quickly see a shadow crawl on top of the ceiling smiling malevolently at Applejack, as its hand strechted across and down the wall.
"APPLEJACK LOOK OUT!" You cry out.
"WHERE.........AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Applejack quickly fell to the floor and began rising upside down, hanging by her leg on the thumb and forefinger of the grotesque shadow. Applejack held her skirt up to cover herself, while trying to hit the hand, but to no avail! "PUT ME DOWN YA VARMINT!"
You shudder slightly as you find yourself within a sea of noxious fog, coughing heavily, you try to find your way around. You suddenly hear the tremendous echoes of foot stomps coming toward you.
"Well well well, look at this! Returning customers!" You feel ringing in your eardrums as if a hurriciane had funneled through them.
The fog seperated and you see before you the slick suited merchant, grinning at you with a sneer on his face. "How's your meat suit treating you fellow? Is it everything you ever wanted?"
"YOU BASTARD!" you lunge at his shoe, utilizing all the power of your kung fu action grip. He quickly kicks you back, knocking one of your arms off.
You try to reach for your arm, before suddenly you feel a massive blow to your stomach once more, knocking both of your legs off in the process.
"ANON! ANON!!!" Applejack kicks at the shadowy hand, not even caring about the status of her exposure. "LET...ME...GO!!!" She begins gnawing and clashing at her captor, to which it just smiled and cackled further at her attempt to do so.
You look at up at Applejack and smile. "Hey..."
Applejack looks back down at you, with tears in her eyes. "Anon..."
"Thanks for everything AJ." You whisper, before the giant heel of the merchant quickly silences you, breaking your plastic body all together.
"ANOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!" Applejack screams as the shadow hand drops her at the same time, as if to rub it in her face of your demise.
Applejack curls at your plastic remains, cradling them in her hands, wishing as if her tears could return you to life.
"Ya see little lady? There ain't no refund policy here! Now be a good lil girl, and..." he crouches down to Applejack and open his mouth.
"Open your mouth..."
NOW'S YOUR CHANCE! You quickly zip inside his open jaw with the force of 10 billion Kirby Gets Fucking Pissed posters.
The black hole of a maw quickly swallowed you as continue to rush forward faster, and faster. The darkness around you seems to be peeling away just by the intensity of the force you are invading with. You tear away at the darkness around you, as the space around you become brighter and brighter. There...it has to be there! You press farther and farther, tearing away at the darkness, before you come to a screeching halt.
You are standing in a white space, with a single mound that is connected to the ceiling, and the floor, with a throbbing black tumor inbetween it. It beats rhytmically, like it had an ungodly pulse, you go up and approach the living tumor.
A single yellow eye opens up and glares right through your soul. You hear its voice booming across the white space. "Well hello there child! Welcome to my host body! Nice lil place ain't it?" The eye closes slightly as it laughs.
"Yeah, it was too old school for me, so I had to spruce it up. Nice though right?" You can see throbbing lines of dark veins slowly trying to cover the room again, as the eyeball rotates and rolls in its black flesh sac.
"Now, its honestly curious lil' man. How could you have possibly known to possess a body under a short period of time? You'd think you would just go off and die!"
You move closer to the flesh sac, but are suddenly stopped by two tentacles that erupted from the sides of the white space.
"Unless, you're a wandering soul...like me!" The eyeball shrinks its pupil, and glares angrily at you.
"So is that what you're planning lil soul? You're planning to beat the demon outta me? I'd like to see you try!" The eyeball rolled in its socket as the tentacles wrapped tighter around you.
You smile and whisper to the eyeball. "Me? Oh no, that's her job. I'm just the follow up."
The eyeball quickly jostled at you once more. "Say what now?"
Applejack punched the merchant right in the jaw, slamming his mouth shut, which distracted the eyeball for a second, loosening his grip on you. You reach back and focus all your strength, rage and love into one final punch, the eyeball looked toward you and quickly shot out tentacles to prevent the blow. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" You land your fist right into its cornea and tentacles pierce through your being. As the punch connected, light eminated everywhere from the white space, and the darkness began fleeing .
"DAMN YOU KID! I AIN'T NOTHING WITHOUT A BODY, JUST A DAMN SHADOW!" The booming voice screeched as it was being pushed away by the might of your punch.
"Good! Go back to where you belong then! TO HELL!" You boast as you finish your blow, and begin to feel your arms move, and your sight begin to see through this new host's eyes. You look down as see shadows escaping from your pant legs, and right out the shop door. You fall back onto the seat of your pants and begin laughing. Your jaw really hurt, like really REALLY hurt, but that's a good sign. You could finally feel pain again! You touch your hand to your chin to relock it into place, and suddenly you see your hands turning from ebony to green! This...this is your hand! You begin going up and down your body, and you are able to change your look from the slick salesman, to good old fashioned Anonymous!
"Anon? Is that really you?" You look up, and see Applejack, with tears in her eyes.
"Yeah...in the flesh I guess..."
You suddenly are tackled with the force of CHINESE MATHEMATICS to the ground as Applejack quickly gets on top of you and pins both of your arms down.
"I can't believe you did it Anon! Ya got your old body back!" She said, wiping the tears from her eyes.
"Yeah, well, maybe, I'm not too entirely sure about the semantics of it, but I guess I'm human, and I am me again, so alls well that ends well?" You say trying to process the logic of technically kicking a spirit out of a body that it had originally possessed, and if that makes you, you, or just a host of you. Descartes would have alot to think about it.
"And in just enough time Anon...I well... I've been meaning to do something to ya for the longest time..." Applejack whispered, as she bit her lower lip.
"Whats that? You already put me in your breasts, and between your legs, I don't think there's much more ground we can cover AJ." You logically state, explaining with your hands.
"Ah can think of something" She quickly hoists you upright by the shoulders, and holds your face as she kisses you passionately, and with a true emotion of love.
You sit there in awe of the gesture, and think to yourself "Wow, that IS something." Applejack pulls back and sits on your lap with a lusty grin on her face.
"Now, with that outta the way, hows about we celebrate with a Ghost Hannakuh afterparty of our own?" she moans slightly as she undoes her maid top.
"I'm game, let's do it!" You state, you've been really meaning to get the natural workings of your body back in motion, especially with all the crazy situations you had tonight. You quickly remove your shirt, and go to remove Applejack's, when suddenly a loud clap of lightening strikes outside, as the cuckoo clocks in the shop all begin clanging and ringing at the same time.
"What in tarnation?" Applejack looks around at the sight, and gets up from your lap. Aww, sad boner.
You get up as well, and wrap your arm around Applejack. You walk outside and your stomachs fall to your feet, the once calm sky was now a swirling maelstrum of green and purple cloud, billowing lightning at every possible interval. You feel the wind blowing against your naked chest, and pushing Applejack's skirt up along with it revealing her nylon clad Apple nethers. Fucking Sweet.
"ANON! I THOUGHT THIS WAS ALL OVER!"
You look up at the sky and hear an echoing laughter coming from Ted Mcgee's Crematorium and Salad Emporium.
"No...it's not over...not yet."
"Well..."You crouch down and invite Applejack to climb on your back. "I think that was only half the fight." She hesistates, but slowly offers a nylon clad leg through each of your arms. " I remember that troublemaker saying something when I was inside him..." You stand up as she wiggles slightly, bouncing her breasts on top of your head. "He's just like me. A Transient Soul."
Applejack digs her heel a bit into your rib as she smacks your forehead in frustration. "Don't be stupid Anon, you and im ain't alike in the sort!"
She crosses her hands and looks away grumpingly. "I don't see any girl who wants to spend the rest of her mortal life with him hanging offa HIS shoulders afterall." She opens one of her eyes, and smiles at you.
You feel the charge of energy rush through your body, as you smile as well. "Yeah, that's right. C'mon AJ, Let's finish this bastard off, once and for all!"
She kicks you in the side and smacks your bottom. "YEEEEEEEHAAAW! LET'S RIDE PARDNER!"
You begin running, ignoring the bouncing breasts slamming against your forehead. You speed past the pile of still copulant Ghost Hannakuh'ers resting in an incredibly stinky puddle of human fluids. Pinkie notices you running with Applejack digging her waist onto your back, bucking like a cowgirl.
"HEYYYYYYYYY AFTERPARTY RODEO! C'MON EVERYBODY! FOLLOW ANON!" She shrieked into the still quivering mass of incredibly horny individuals. Rainbow Dash perked up from her circle of dicks, as Rarity and Fluttershy climbed out from a naked orgy pile, both high fiving one another. Twilight was walking her 300 pound naked neckbeards, and slapped them on the ass, to which they both howled. "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH! GO ANON!"
You faintly hear the sound of something that sounded like a naked parade behind you, so you turn your head slightly to see what the commotion is about.
Sure enough, there is a giant mob of fluid covered naked people running behind you, with Pinkie Pie running the lead, brandishing a 6 foot purple dildo in her hand, screaming along the lines of "WHOOOOOOOHABBAABABAHOHOOHBOHBBABABA"
NOPE, KICK THAT SHIT INTO FUCKING OVERDRIVE ANON! You dig down deep and find the power of FAST within you. "C'mon everybody! I know where there's a HELL of a party to be had!"
"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH!" The naked crowd of sexually active maniacs screamed behind you as you lead them through the forest at the edge of town. You get hit in the face several times by low laying branches, but the very real fear of Pinkie rectally ravaging you allows you push onward to your final destination.
You jump out of the forest, and right into the cemetary of Tim McGee's Crematorium and and Salad Emporium. You look up at the sky, the spiral of wicked emerald and purple clouds seemed to be gathering at the crematorium.
You turn around and face your naked army, Pinkie Pie was slunched over like a Yakuza, slapping her purple dildo in her hand.
You point to the crematorium "THERE, THAT'S WHERE THE PARTY'S AT! DON'T LET ANYTHING GET IN OUR WAY!"
"YEEEEEEEEEEEEAHHHHHHHHHHH SEXY SPOOKY SEX PARTY!" The naked army of Ghost Hannakuers replied, hungry for even more sexiness.
Suddenly, a great booming laughter came from the center of the swirling clouds.
"AHAHAHAHAHA, SO THE LIL WANDERING SOUL HAS FOUND A LIL ARMY TO RAISE AGAINST LIL OL ME!"
You see a giant eyeball within a diagonal appear in the clouds as the clouds spiraled faster and faster, throwing lightning bolts every which direction.
"WELL, IF THAT'S THE CASE, I'LL RAISE AN ARMY MYSELF!"
Several lightning bolts hailed in front of you, Applejack and your naked army, like tin foil in a microwave, there was electricity everywhere.
You drop Applejack, and you hold her hand. The air is quiet, as you feel your arm hairs raise slightly in the electric field.
Suddenly you see a bony hand crawl out of the ground, followed by several others, followed by a multitude more. The once empty cemetary was now full of electrified skeletons, all pointing and screeching at you and your naked army.
Applejack tightens her grip on your hand, "Anon, why are there so many skeletons?"
You gulp as you see a small group of skeletons doing the spooky skeleton dance.
"You know why Tim Mcgee has a Salad Emporium in addition to his Creamatorium?" You whisper.
"No, Ah honestly never really thought of it Anon." Applejack said, lifting her hands, getting ready to fight against the oncoming wave of electric skeletons.
"It's because..." You rush out and punch the skull right off of one of the skeletons.
"HE REALLY SUCKS AT CREMATING!"
The skeletons all howled and began zerg rushing you and your naked army.
"DON'T LET THEIR BONERS DETER YOU! GET TO THE CREMATORIUM!" You scream out to your friends as you dodge spooky electric skeleton scratches.
Applejack roundhouse kicks three skeletons at once, as Pinkie Pie begins crotch bombing through several skeletons at once. Rainbow Dash begins singing a song about how awesome she is, which made the skeletons rip their own heads off. Twilight and Fluttershy began dominating several of the skeletons, and treating them like dogs. Rarity stood there and lightly slapped into the air because she was dainty.
The rhomboid eye grew angry, and the clouds began spiraling faster and faster. More and more lightning bolts were loosed, as more and more skeletons came out of the ground.
"WAHAHAHAHAHA! Y'ALL THINK YOU CAN STOP THE VERY FORCES OF DEATH ITSELF?"
The eyeball rolled around as it began boasting loudly.
"I ESCAPED FROM THE VERY PITS OF HELL! I AM THE ALMIGHTY KHALKAROTH! EMPOWERED BY CHAOS HIMSELF! KNOW ME MORTALS, KNOW ME, AND KNOW DEATH!"
The eyeball shot a lightning bolt right at you, and you felt your body weigh down upon itself, stiffing and cementing slowly.
The last thing you hear is the voices of your friends calling out for you. "ANOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNN!!!!!"
You're pretty sure you see Applejack run towards you, before your body turns to solid stone.
You can't move, it's like this...statue is made specifically to hold your spirit inside! ACK! You are dead, but you aren't alive either! THIS IS IT! GAME OVER MAN!
You look down and see Applejack crying at your statued feet. "Anon... you can't be gone...Anon... come back to me."
The enormous wave of undead warriors began closing in on your naked friends, as Pinkie Pie began screaming "I CAN'T FIT ALL THESE BONERS IN MY HOOHAH! SOMEBODY HAAAAAAAAAAAAALP!"
The air becomes silent again as Applejack starts clapping for no reason. She claps her hands and begins whispering your name. "Anon...y...mous." She gets up and starts clapping even faster, "Anon...Y... Mous!" She continues to stand tall and claps, chanting your name, as Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Rarity and Twilight all follow suit. They begin clapping and chanting your name. "ANONYMOUS!
Suddenly the entire naked army starts clapping their hands and chanting your name nonstop. "ANONYMOUS! ANONYMOUS! ANONYMOUS!"
Every hit of your name slammed against your stony prison like a wrecking ball, you could feel the energy of your friends empowering you.
"ANONYMOUS! Clap. ANONYMOUS! Clap."
The statue began cracking slightly,
"ANONYMOUS! ANONYMOUS!" You flex your arms and the stones go flying away from your body!
Pinkie Pie throws you a microphone and you catch it.
You scream into it. "ARE YOU READY?" you hold the microphone to the naked crowd. "YEAH!" they all scream in repose
"ALL RIGHT! 3,2,1! GO" you turn away and look up at Khalkaroth, as you start singing.
"I WAS BOOOOOOOOOORN IN A CLASS 5 HURRCAINE!" Applejack and Pinkie Pie jump up next to you and start dancing, as they kick several skeletons away from you. You flip around and start dancing in tandem with the two of them "And I howled at my ma in the driving rain," Twilight and Fluttershy ran up to you and punched several skeletons in the groin as they ran over a wave of them with Twilight's 300 pound neckbeard slaves.
You point your finger at the giant eyeball and tap your foot. "But it's all right now, in fact, it's a gas!"
Two skeletons jump up from infront and behind you, but are suddenly dragged back down underground by Rainbow Dash and Rarity, you join you in the center singing stage.
You hold Applejack's hand and look her straight in the eyes. "But it's all right. I'm jumpin jack flash," Applejack holds hands with Pinkie, who grabs Twilight's, who grabs Rainbows, who grabs Raritys, who grabs Fluttershy. You point your finger and make a gun sign at the giant rhomboid eye in the sky.
"And I'm a gas gas gas!"
The naked army continued smashing skeletons as they chanted toward you and the girls. "Music rules! Music rules! Music rules!"
The power of their cheers, amplified by the power of the magic within Applejack's friends, amplified EVEN further by the feelings you have for Applejack began leaking through your pointer finger.
"MUSIC RULES! MUSIC RULES! MUSIC RULES!"
The air got electric as the cheers grew louder and louder, the energy from your finger began growing larger and larger, as Khalkaroth began stammering. "STOP IT! NO MUSIC ALLOWED!"
Applejack's friends open their eyes to reveal a bright light, and they began glowing. Applejack grabbed your chin, and opened her eyes, revealing the same glow. You smile, and open your eyes too, revealing that same bright light from behind your eyes.
"MUSIC RULES! MUSIC RULES! MUSIC RULES! MUSIC RULES! MUSIC RULES!" The crowd cheers louder and louder as they danced and stomped their feet in unison. The light from your finger grew and grew in size, until you could no longer contain it! A giant blue beam of light shot from your finger, launching right at the giant eyeball in the sky.
Khalkaroth begin screaming as its eyeball rolled around crazyily. "STOP STOP STOP STOP!"
The beam of light refracts into every color of the rainbow and takes the form of a dragon.
"STOP THE FRIENDSHIP! STOP STOP STOP STOP!"
The different coloured dragons joined in unison, to make a mighty rainbow hydra that blasted right into the stormy center.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!"
The eyeball begins sucking the clouds into itself, as it imploded upon its own being. The skeletons began getting sucked in the cyclone, as your naked friends cheer at the sight of the defeated army of the undead.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! DEFEATED BY THE MAGIC OF FRIENDSHIIIIIIIIIIIP!"
The giant eyeball in the sky exploded, as you, Applejack, and her freinds desenced back to the ground, and you finished your riff. "IT'S A GASSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!"
Applejack knocks you over with a hug, and suddenly you are dog piled by the other 5 as well.
The naked party goers did a naked conga to the Crematorium, slightly surprising the elderly Tim Mcgee as they just walked right in and restarted their Ghost Hannakuh afterparty.
"Ya did Anon! Ya finally beat that troublemaker once and for all!" You laugh as you feel a foot tickle you in the ribs, but you notice a light purple wisp fall from the sky. Like a leaf in the wind, it slowly descends. You swear you see an eye open up on it, as a smile stretches on its miniscule little face.
"Maybe next time lil man!" he chuckles. Suddenly a black crow swoops in and takes him into his beak, shredding the purple soul into a thousand midair pieces, until only a tiny purple spot remained. The crow flew off into the green and manilla horizon, as you laughed to yourself.
"Yeah... its all finally over."
Just an ol' strangers tale I suppose.
Just an ol' strangers tale I suppose.
"C'mon y'all, get off of Anon, he probably just wants to go home." Applejack says, pushing her naked friends off of you.
You brush your suit off, and laugh nervousally. "Yeah, besides, afterparties aren't really my thing. Go have some fun girls!"
Pinkie shrugs her shoulders, and she quickly rounds up Rarity, Rainbow, Twilight and Fluttershy and pushes them into Tim Mcgee's Crematorium while yelling back to you. "Silly, I know you just want to go home and hump Applejack. Go do it you wiener!"
You smile nervousally, as does Applejack. "Wanna go to my place and watch some scary movies?" You ask, blushing slightly
"Hmm...nah" Applejack responds, running her finger up and down your chest.
"I wanna go to yer place, and fuck yer brains out." She grabs you by the top of your pants, and quickly runs off with you into the bushes.
"And y'all certainly did git down to that sexy sort of business. I wasn't really able to tell who's who in that pile of sweaty human relation y'all had going on there. But I could tell by the glow on her face, and the smile of satisfaction you had on yours, I knew y'all were gonna be just fine." Ruggs pulled back into his rocking chair, and began strumming on his guitar.
"Just an ol' strangers tale I suppose though." He plays a soft tune, as a small chain hangs off his thumb, revealing a purple mist, screaming with its entire core to be left out.
The end.
Happy Halloween.
T'were it be a chill'd evening at the haunted hollows of Tim Mcgee's Crematorium and Salad Emporium.The night sky was littered with emerald, pale clouds, that refracted the full moons eerie glow. A crow could be heard crying out its shrill avian cry. "AFLAC! AFLAC!"
We cut to a shot of a broken down Ford Explorer Pick Up truck rumbling down the windy road of Interstate Neighty Eight. Hapharzadly swerving round the bends and curves, a tarp flutters uncontrollably in the cargo bin of the truck. SUDDENLY! OUT OF NOWHERE!
SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECH! BOOOOOOOOOOM! CRAAAAAAAAAASH! AND OTHER ALLITERATIVE NOISES!
"And that is the moral of drinking and driving, be safe this Halloween, brought to you by the Canterlot DMV, remember, WE OWN YOU."
The driver yawned, "God, I fucking hate these late night commericials. Good thing I have this flask of liquor!"
He quickly pops the top of his flask, and washes down his disappointment in his career choice, and the fact his father wouldn't call him anymore.
THEN SUDDENLY....AGAIN!
WHAM!
The truck driver launched through his windshield and landed on the cold macadim, mashing his bones on impact.
"OW, MOST OF MY BONES AND INTERNAL ORGANS!"
The truck driver looked up at the cold night sky, and felt himself falling asleep. His last thoughts ran through his head, "I wish... I would've listened to those PSA's..." Then he died and went to Truck Driver heaven.
The tarp in his cargo bin began fluttering eerily, as a small shadow quickly jumped off, and made its way towards the bright lights of a town celebrating its most important holiday...Ghost Hannakuh.
The town?
Canterburg, home of Canterlot high.
