Chapters Immortal Wirewolf 2: The Adventures of Alfreda and El Quatros Locos
Location: Mojave Desert
???: ???
Time: ???
Status: ???
Within the dunes of this desert, there was a shallow grave of a broken down spaceship like car that was spewing smoke from it's broken windows as someone inside woke up coughing before kicking the door open to fall out, allowing the midday sun to bask in the figure's glory.
A 7' 5 Wirewolf with a mostly yellow shell in contrast to the wirewolf blue. HIs joints connecting his arms were black along with his ankles and neck, his small finger joints between his thick metal claws a blood red, his two back fins a light grey. As he opened his eyes attempting to look around, they flashed on like a computer, his right eye staying a full red while his left eye shifted to a calm blue with a contracting green pupil.
"Agh Christ, anyone get the number of that bitch?" He asked no one, his mind a complete fuzz of identity before he realized his circumstances upon spotting the flaming formally flying car. "Oh shit, oh jeez oh god oh what the shit am I gonna do?"
He panicked looking around before seeing someone on the ground. He had on a white lab coat with crazy looking hair missing his left leg.
"Oh dude! Are you okay?" The Wirewolf ran over and shook him a little. "I don't know if the cars your or mine but I need-"
He never finished as he turned the man over revealing while he wasn't responding. He was completely missing his orbital, being freed from the ground allowing it to spew out blood, dripping down his head across his dislocated gnarled jaw, to which he dropped the corpse immediately to throw up in the body's apparently open chest cavity causing it to cook what remained of the internal organs.
"Oh god that felt worse coming back up." He said stumbling back before tripping on something. As he groaning and looked to his side, he spotted a weird looking gun with a mini dome containing a little green orb. He reached over to it and pulled it up, revealing the hand gripping it belong to half of a kid with brown hair, his eye sockets only filled with fire while his teeth had been removed.
The Wirewolf screamed with a child yanking the gun out of the corpses grip before gagging then throwing up on the head, putting out the fire while also melting the head into a puddle of goo.
"Dammit I have got to stop throwing up!" He shouted. As he looked around for something to help him he spotted another weird looking small gun with three pincers. He picked it up before something spoke in his head.
'Combine them Alfreda.' A voice in his head said.
"Who was that?" He asked darting his head around freaked out before deciding to do what the voice said if it would go away. As he looked at them trying to figure out how to do it, he began to see the components come apart and where to reassemble them to fuse them, and did so with speed that surprised himself. As he turned the last screw, he lifted it up to look at his handiwork, the dome was now concealed within the gun itself while the pincers focused the barrel more. As he fiddled with the nob, fluctuating the color from green to orange, to blue, to settling on white.
"Well then. Let's see what I made." Alfreda said with a complete uncertain look before firing it at a nearby rock, creating a white portal with a dot in it's center that expanded out like an iris, revealing a lush greenfield and a town in the distance.
Alfreda was silent for a few second before pumping his fist in the air. "Space gun."
He walked through the portal and looked around surprised at how nice everything looked compared to the shithole of a desert he woke up in, the portal behind him disappearing. Alfreda looked around a little, finding a forest lined with apples behind him before seeing a big sign that looked relatively new.
"All right... So Ponyville is to the north, South Luna Bay is to the west, and Cloudsdale is... also to the north. ...Where the f*ck am I?" Alfreda yelled out utterly confused.
"Equestria if you looked at the bottom of the map." Someone said. Alfreda turned around and found himself with another Wirewolf, his shell color different shades of green, his eyes pink.
"Ok. Who're you?"
"Hi. My name's Jack. I'm as confused as you look. One minute I'm in a orgy that I can't even begin to describe how many pleasures it had, next thing I know, here."
Alfreda was silent at the explanation and simply shuffled back a little. "Okay~. My name's Alfreda, I woke up in a spaceship car hybrid with some dead bodies."
"Aw that sounds so much better then my thing."
"You're a weird guy aren't you?" Alfreda asked him before a gun pumping sound caught his ears and he felt something pressing against the back of his head.
"¿Quién eres tú? ¿Y por qué no debería apretar el gatillo?" (Who are you? And why shouldn't I pull the trigger?) A voice behind him said.
"Umm, I come in peace?" Alfreda said as a question, to which his head was blown off by a shotgun blast splattering his head all over the ground and giving the sign a new red coat obscuring some of the map. Alfreda's body fell over to reveal the perpetrator.
He was a wirewolf, his shell was Yellow like Alfreda's, in fact he almost looked exactly like Alfreda, except his eyes were orange, and he looked much much stern and aggressive.
"Hi, I'm Jack." Jack greeted with a smile as if the sight of Alfreda's brutal murder didn't just happen. "Nice gun, do you happen to speak English? If so I could use a new wingman, my old one died."
The Wirewolf put his shotgun away as he eyed Jack. "Juan Mufongo."
"You know any fine ladies?"
"No."
"Bummer."
"Yeah I don't like you already."
Before any more action could be taken further, Alfreda's body twitched as it got up and tried feeling around before slowly but surely, his head regenerated good as new. Alfreda let out a gasp for air then looked around utterly confused before spotting Juan. "What just happened?"
"Well this guy over here, his name's Juan Mufongo, blew your head off, we were talking, then your head grew back."
"Yeah thanks dumbass. I mean why did my head grow back."
"I don't know and I really don't give shit. I heard you introducing yourself to this green jackass so no need to tell me your name. But what I do want to know is what the hell are you two doing in my territory I claimed when I woke up 2 two days ago?"
"I have no idea. i Just wanna go home." Alfreda replied.
"And have fun getting the buck off my land making it back to wherever that is exactly."
"Maretropolis of Equestria or Equis 1." He immediately replied.
"Wow. Pretty quick to jump at that question." Jack made note.
"Weird, that's where I'm from." Juan replied.
"Wanna team up to go home then?"
Juan stroke his chin. "Fine. It's gotten pretty boring around here, the real owner's bound to see me mooching off the land at some point, and Someone's gotta make sure you won't kill that dumbass before I do."
"We need a team name then. How about Team Three Star?" Jack proposed.
"Ugh, terrible."
"No more suggestions from you." Alfreda added. "Let's put it on the back burner."
"So how do you plan on getting home?"
"Portal gun." Alfreda replied firing at a tree creating another portal.
"Really. You think it's gonna be that easy? There's gotta be infinity between here and home."
"You got a better idea? We'll just find a guy to pump up the juice in this thing and it'll be a leap from there. What's your rush, no one's after us." Alfreda replied stepping through the portal followed by Jack and Juan. As the portal disappeared, the only witness to the whole ordeal was Berry Punch, who proceeded to throw her mug in hooves into the river and made her way to the clinic with a path of sobriety forming in her mind.
Located near a access point to the Nexus of All Realities, was a bar, named Nowhere Yet Everywhere due to the ways one could take to get there. Sitting in a both was a large hulking demon made of sludge, with a few smaller imp like ones around him, with a large wooden Tankard filled to the brim with something that was most certainly stronger then Beer.
"Is this what has become of us Spatters? A kingdom I was to have, were it not for that infernal Shadow Blot and Solar Mare, now, here I am, drowning the pain while building up a tab I'm never going to pay." The demon lamented before downing the tankards contents in 3 chugs.
"Maybe we should've asked that gypsy to be more specific about that 'Deathless Dog' that's gonna donk up your universal domination plans before she went all Batman. At least that's what I was thinking boss." One of the imps brought up to which the demon simply stared at him for a few seconds then threw him in the tankard and downed the imp. Before it could go on any further, another full tankard was placed in front of him by a waiter. "For one Phantom Blot courtesy of the Blotling over there."
Phantom Blot looked over spotting the slender blotlings sitting up on the bar drinking a mimosa. He stood up, revealing his head to be 8' 0 and walked over to him.
"I know someone with a similar 'dog' problem if you catch my drift." He said sipping his drink, not making eye contact with Phantom Blot.
"Cut the drama I know which Sweeper you are, you're not impressing anyone."
"C'mon boss, I've been sitting here for hours drinking Red Mocha Kooler's waiting to do this all night! I'm positive I'm gonna need to ride with you guys cause the Bartender took my keys."
"Fine, whatever." Phantom Blot replied with an eyeball before raising his arm melodramatically. " 'Oh but who could possibly assist me in this dilemma in my plans I can't dispose of?' " He said faking like he was desperate.
"Booth by the door." The Sweeper replied pointing to said booth to which the Phantom Blot slithered over to see who it was, automatically able to spot the figure had yellow flames to act as hair, submerged in the shadows with only that and their evil red eyes visible.
"So what do you know about him?" He asked getting right to the point.
"He's weak, spineless, a coward in the face of danger, but back him in a corner, he might grow a pair and surprise you." The figure replied, the voice identifying them as female.
"And the Deathless part?"
"Partially true. He can die, but he won't stay dead. He was blown apart and he simply reformed in another universe. I'm offering you my help to make sure that's only a one time thing, you can conquer whatever you want, and I get to continue on with my plans for revenge on some acquaintances he would know."
Phantom Blot smiled a little as he extended a claw to her. "Deal, but I can't help but ask, how do you know so much about him, Miss..."
His claw was met by a white hoof that shook it, as she moved into the light to reveal her face and the rest of her body, an alicorn wearing some type of costume, grinning at him with a skull for a face, her eyes surprisingly regular outside of the eyes slitted eyes, and teeth shaped like incisors. "We have a history, and it's Anti-Matter, but please, call me Twilight."
Author's Note
Bam! Thus the rebirth begins. Leave your thoughts in the comments below, and this chapter is meant as the pilot/prologue, more details on Juan and Jack will be explored next chapter. For new readers that just spotted this, please read Beginning's of An Immortal Wirewolf before continuing.
Edit: Also from Juan's violent meeting with Alfreda, expect some dark humor inspired by blows such as this
(All jokes aside I'm super hyped for Doom Eternal)
Immortal Wirewolf 2: The Adventures of Alfreda and El Quatros Locos
Location: Everfree
Universe: Equis 1012.12
Time: 11:44 AM
Status: KIA
A Blue Portal opened and out fell Jack followed by swarms of bullets as Alfreda stumbled out after as blood poured from his wounds across his body and he dropped dead, the bullets already starting to be pushed out by his body and healed up. Alfreda gasped as he came to and Juan kicked him down on his way out of the portal as it disappeared, covered in blood double fisting two big guns.
"Wow, who knew that the real Wolfenstein could be so violent?" Jack asked.
"Who knew I'd have such a good time." Juan replied wiping the blood off his shell as he tossed his helmet to the side.
"I didn't." Alfreda said as he scratched his ear causing a bullet to fall out.
"You're just mad you were the perfect meat shield."
"You're right, and it still hurt."
"Oh ok Miss, didn't know your tampon fell out during the tank chase."
Alfreda tackled Juan and they rolled around while Jack looked around confused.
"Not to worry guys, I'll see if I can find out what we can do from here. Thankfully, I bought a book that I've been applying to every other part of my life since that'll guide us out of this predicament; "MASTER Your Finances and SHAKE It Up!" Jack proclaimed as he held said book high in the air.
"Damn it that thing's a load of shit!" Alfreda choked out as Juan clung onto him in a chokehold.
"Chapter One: Make Every Problem Your Slave. See, that right there is the road to success is it not? Continuing; Rule 1: Assess the situation. There's ice to the south of us, the northwest has some deserts and junk, and North has forests, cities, and a huge mountain, all very far away and more then likely to die getting there. Which leaves the observation..." Jack looked around, then back at his book, then at Alfreda and Juan, who had stopped fighting to hear whatever stupidity may emerge from his mouth as he looked back at the book. "We are f*cked."
"Right you are." The three of them turned around and saw a pony there. Well what looked like a pony in the front, but he had the back of a green shark, fin and everything but scaly back legs, and the horns of a goat. Alfreda snickered as Juan lightly chuckled.
"Okay, so who fucked who to make you? Did your mother try to kill a rival with a shark mating whistle and it attacked her on land?" Juan asked to which Alfreda laughed out loud, only for the Capricorn to try and tackle him, Alfreda dodging sending him falling down the mountain. "Well that was unnecessarily anticlimactic." Juan noted to which Alfreda nodded in agreement.
"Okay let's see if we can run into civilization before anyone ELSE!" Alfreda shouted up that last word as he was tackled by something that wrapped around him like a Boa Constrictor.
Alfreda shook his head dizzy as he began to feel something grind up on his chest. He looked and found Cadence had her legs wrapped around his chest and beginning to squeeze as he heard the sound of something cracking and swore he heard a rib crack. He looked around, and saw Princess Celestia, Luna, Queen Chrysalis, and Shining Armor surrounding him, Juan and Jack.
"You better start talking." Luna demanded. "Who are you and what gives you the right to hurt Tydal like that?"
"Answer that question with another question. Guess who's got a broken back, acts like a total bitch, but is about to kick some of your asses for us?"
"Juan that doesn't make any sense. Chrysalis is right there and her spine isn't-" Alfreda didn't finish as he heard his spine shatter and let out a high pitched squeal of pain as Cadence squeezed as hard as she could.
"Him." Juan answered.
Alfreda, using his broken spine to his advantage, slipped out of Cadence's hold then reached into his chest, pulling out then blasting her with a fire extinguisher to which she held her eyes screaming in pain as she writhed on the ground, the moments she brought her hands away revealing them to be slightly swollen and bloodshot. Juan looked surprised as Alfreda got up, his broken vertebrae remerging together and reshaping into it's old shape. "What the Hell's that thing full of?"
"Mace."
"A fire extinguisher full of mace?"
"You're just mad cause I thought of it first."
"Yes. Of every implication with it."
"Now let's-" Alfreda was interrupted as Tydal jumped from the edge and sliced Alfreda's left arm causing him to gasp in shock as he felt the wound.
"Looks like he's been... disarmed!" Jack found his joke was met with only the sound of the wind.
Alfreda touched the wound shocked, then let out a huge scream, which surprisingly caused his arm to regenerate. He looked at Juan and Jack in shock.
"You can regenerate like that? You don't need to die?" Jack asked.
Tydal went in to tackle him but Alfreda roundhouse kicked him sending him off the mountain again. Alfreda then turned to the others while Cell stood defensively. "Seriously just leave us alone we just wanna be on our way, cause I don't wanna solve this with violence."
"I HOWEVER DO!!" Tydal bellowed from below causing Juan to look over.
"Hey Alfreda why is that ocean moving closer to- OH BALLS!" Juan said as a huge fist sent him flying. Alfreda's jaw dropped as the figure stood over and revealed himself. Tydal was now bipedal and looked like he was made of the ocean itself and his mane was made of storm clouds. His bottom was made of a lot of tentacles and he grinned looking at Alfreda. "Say hello to 40% of my true power."
Alfreda blinked a few times as flashbacks came to him, pieces of his past, facing against someone smaller, but definitely more powerful then Tydal, and that's not even counting the Titan of Hell* then smiled. "You're big, got beaten by, and beaten bigger."
Tydal glared at Alfreda than smashed him into the mountain. Alfreda pulled himself out as his body fixed itself and dodged another fist. Juan was diving down and gave Alfreda an idea. He opened his wings and flew up to Juan, reminding him of his own wings and they swung around each other then propelled below Tydal's belt and lightning speed hitting him right where the sun don't shine. Tydal bent over in intense pain and landed face first in the mountain. Luna's right eye twitched before her face turned into one of pure rage as she looked down at where Alfreda and Juan were but found them gone, and began to turn to where Jack last was. "You're going to tell us-" She found that she was taking to no one but air, Jack not even leaving any footprints. "THE BUCK'D THEY GO?!"
Alfreda was running through Ponyville as fast and comfortably as he could, as the Mega Seeds were really hurting his pelvis.* He ran into SugarCube Corner and stopped on a table. Pinkie Pie walked up grinning at her new customer. "What'll be Alfreda?"
"Don't wanna know how you know my name, just give me a muffin."
"Make that two, and can it be bacon flavored?" Jack asked craving Bacon all of a sudden.
"Double Chocolate." Juan ordered.
"Okie Dokie Lokie." Pinkie Pie then hopped off to get the order leaving the three alone to talk. "So what's the plan?" Jack asked.
"Well since it's according to "wing it" as I have dubbed it, if we find the mirror portal to that world full of humans, we use the gun on that then we have a better chance of getting close to home at the least." Pinkie Pie brought the muffins and Alfreda and Jack happily munched as they continued to talk.
"What about Lulu and the others?" Jack asked mouth full.
"Whatever means necessary if they get in our way to the mirror." Juan replied pulling out his double barrel shotgun. "I've been using this since I got it* and I do not plan on stopping yet."
"Speaking of which where exactly is it?" Jack asked finishing the wrapper.
"In Canterlot." Alfreda replied.
"What's that?"
"The capitol you Dumbass."
"You know for an immortal, you sure are up for suicide." They both got up walked to the door.
"Ok enough of that, we just head for the train and were golden."
As the approached the exit, Mrs. Cake stood at the doorway glaring at them. "You didn't pay."
"I left all my money at home. You think you could wait while I go get it?" A cage dropped down on both of them and everyone went off like nothing happened.
Juan blinked for a second before looking at their prison. "This is made of f*cking breadsticks." He said in complete disbelief at how incredibly stupid the idea of cages made of bread was. Juan proceed to show why as he then started eating the bars and growled as another revelation presented itself.
"And this shit's as stale as cardboard!" He shouted as he kicked the rest of the cage apart.
"Why would you expect them to use fresh bread?" Alfreda asked.
"It's just common courtesy, you don't see that idiot trying to ask out Twilight and just goes back to trying to do Luna."
"OH ONE TIME!" Jack said defensively.
Mrs. Cake spoke up wanting to put something to bed. "Now that would be just rude for Luna to do that to her own daughter."
Alfreda, Juan and Jack blinked once looking at her like she was a human living among ponies and was riding a dinosaur."What/Que?" they said blankly.
"Oh you poor things don't know, Luna and Discord are Twilight's parents, not those two everyone talks about."
"Pretty sure the bullshit meter can back me up on this one, I'm pretty sure Luna was on a satellite for a millennium and Discord was in stone before that, the physics alone to conceive a child in the most impossible conditions is mind boggling, and I'm not that smart." Alfreda responded, slightly ashamed at admitting his true feelings about his intelligence but felt better when compared to this idiot.
"Don't you believe in true love?"
"Yeah, but I'm positive that no matter how you word it, it's bullshit."
"In denial, just like Twilight about Rarity and Applejack being together." Juan pulled his shotgun back out, grabbed Mrs. Cake and pinned her to the wall as he aimed for her head.
"Eso es todo, voy a matar a esta perra azul molesto causa que es una mierda pura." ("That's it I'm going to kill this annoying bitch because that's pure bullshit.") Alfreda grabbed pulled Juan's arm to the side to talk to him.
"Juan, not everything has to be solved with violence, let's just let her go and recommend her to a serious psychologist on all that crazy gossip."
"Nadie habla de ella de lo que he oído. Podemos matarla ahora y sólo su familia le importaría." ("Nobody talks about her from what I heard. We can kill her now and only her family would care.")
"See yeah sure, I'm finally glad we're agreeing on something." Juan rolled his eyes with a small smile then pulled the trigger ending her life and spraying her grey matter all over the wall. Alfreda proceeded to throw up all over the table in shock as the customers ran out of the shop screaming at the sight of the murder. "Why?"
"I was gonna do it regardless, you should really learn Spanish if you wanna keep your lunch in your stomach for moments like this."
"We agreed not to kill her, I'm the one with the portal gun so I should have at least some authority."
Juan sighed as he patted him on the back walking out. "Usted tiene todo el sentido común de un gatito que no importa." ("You have all the gumption of a pussy that does not matter.")
"I don't know what that means but I automatically take offense to that."
"At least you're learning." Juan mumbled to himself as they walked out of the bakery eyes set on the train station, and snuck in through the back car.
A few hours later, they finally boarded the station falling to the ground, huffing and puffing as they caught their breaths.
"Ok minor hiccup from going off the rails because Jack just had to be craving potatoes and a bamboo stick, but it's just a streak through a bunch of stuck up idiots to get the HFIL out of here." Alfreda narrated to himself as they snuck in through the alleyways, with only one guard killed by Juan accidentally in reflex, before getting to the throne room and barricading the door. Jack gazed at the throne, then tried to fit it in his chest hatch, found little success with that, and simply tossed it out a stain glass window, revealing the mirror behind where the throne was. "Huh you were right."
"Tu eres tan tonto que tu te apareces." ("Wow you're actually not as stupid as you look.")
"Juan enough with the Spanish, I don't speak it, and I know most of what you say is just condescending remarks."
"To be completely honest, that one was actually a compliment."
"Oh, thank you. Now let's- wait, hey guys is it getting hot in here? I don't know if something's happening or if I'm having a stroke, cause I can feel my arms." Alfreda said as he felt the heat in the room change. A pot of flowers next to him ignited into flames startling him. "Ok that's not normal."
"ALFREDA! I'M GONNA KICK YOUR ASS!!" A voice shouted as something rammed into the doorway. Juan aimed his shotgun at the ready as Alfreda got into a fighting post and Jack looked around befuddled at how he was going to fight until he looked at the ground and grabbed a piece of glass shaped like a mini khopesh, and a broken chair leg.
"Nobody better mess!"
The doors were smashed in, sending pieces of splinter around, a large piece spun in place before a black hoof bearing blue armor stomped down on it. Standing in the doorway was Nightmare Moon, a white version of her with a sun cutie mark, and Chrysalis with Scorpion pincers, tail, and teeth like daggers.
"Okay that's a thing." Juan said before he counted three. "Hey where's Horse Luigi and Princess Daisy? Did they stay back to nurse Sharkface's egg sack back to functioning?"
"Every word that you've just spoke has made me violently angry." Nightmare Moon said with a murderous glare.
"Don't worry, from my data the Elements beat Nightmare, nobody got to see what it'd do on Chrysalis, we're basically immortal so this should be fun, Heck, for some reason I've always wanted to fight Daybreaker over there, evil or not."
Daybreaker let out a snarl that turned into a sinister chuckle. "It's Corona, and there's just one little thing you're missing; these are actually our forms at just 10% of our power."
"10%." Juan said with a blank face disinterested.
"Yes."
"Chicken."
"Excuse you?"
"He's calling you cowards, 10%, We've beaten up a lot of people at their peak." Alfreda replied.
"We murdered a demon of Hell twice the size of your castle." Juan added.
"We just head butted the freaky fish guy in his balls."
"He is not a freaky fish guy!" Nightmare exclaimed.
"Prove it then, kick our ass when he couldn't." Alfreda said before realizing it. "Wait what did I just say?"
Corona chuckled as her eyes glowed a little. "Our forms would tower over this city. if you're really sure that's how you wish to die..."
"Can you give us a minute to huddle. I've decided at the last minute each one of us will fight for each one of you." Alfreda asked before the three of them flew up to the peak of the mountain panting a little.
"Great going shithead." Juan said slapping Alfreda over the head.
"Hey we killed Unicron, that guy's like the size of a moon, they'll mostly be mountain size."
"I fought Unicron, barely, with help from Hot Rod and a Maguffin, while you was being crushed by Galvatron over and over." Juan replied as a rumbling shook the ground. Jack looked over the side and saw some energy arching up past them off into the distance.
"Um, guys?" Jack said in utter awe nudging Alfreda.
"Okay Jack, let's draw the straws, shortest one get's Chrysalis, middle one gets Luna, and longest gets Celestia. And to make it fair, we'll all be blindfolded." Alfreda instructed giving the other two blindfolds before putting the straws in a cup. They began to feel, their claws getting in each others way so it took longer to grab then anticipated, when Alfreda felt something soft. "Okay don't panic guys, I think a naked mole rat or something got into the cup."
Juan solved the problem with a slice from his knife, which caused Jack to scream and run away falling off the mountain.
"That wasn't a mole rat."
"Yeah it took me a second too." Alfreda said before pulling out two sticks. He told his blindfold off to see he got the longest two while Juan got the shortest. "Come on that was cheating!"
"Should've told him to keep it in his shell, also turn around." Juan said looking behind him.
Alfreda did so and gasped in surprise at the sight. It was the three they were going to fight, but they were indeed the size of the mountain, and each looked radically different.
Celestia was a burning titan with a multitude of arms, some looked to hide massive terrifying claws, her mane was nearly as big as her blazing like a swarm of whips, her even larger wings behind her, constantly changing shape, sometimes looking angelic, other times looking demonic. In the center of her chest was a black hole, which seemed to suck up the light around it to fuel her eternal flames.
Luna looked like a mix of Celestia and Tydal's forms, looking more centur then equine bearing a horse skull made of lunar stone, with two blue giants for eyes that seemed to burn for revenge against Alfreda. Her body was pitch black, the ground beneath her hooves froze solid to the touch and almost immediate proximity of her body, her wings resembling massive swirling galaxies. Surrounding her, orbiting near her shoulders, were small moons.
"Oh that's just not fair, she has to have asteroids to throw at me? Juan's doesn't even look that bad." Alfreda complained, as Chrysalis simply looked like a giant version of her 1% form.
Chrysalis looked like she heard him and a smile formed on her face, revealing massive incisors as her body seemed to break apart, revealing it to be made up of millions of drones that looked like her at her original size.
"I'm not complaining." Juan replied with a smiling making sure his shotgun was loaded.
"Any last words?" Luna asked, her voice booming across the land,
"I have many things. A friend that shoots me in the face, partial amnesia, Immortality, Last words? Are not one of them." Alfreda said with a shrug.
"Wait what do you-" Luna didn't finish as Alfreda had suddenly closed the distance between them and delivered a punch across her face sending her stumbling back a mile, which at her scale was 2 steps. Celestia zoomed in and Alfreda slid over her head, bursting into flames as he slid down her mane, the mane also whipping the absolute shit out of him like he owed the Equestrian Debt to the IRS, his body taking less than a minute to heal and adapt to the intense heat and lashings. Alfreda began to take hold on the whips and dove forward throwing Celestia over him crashing her on top of Luna. Alfreda shielded his eyes as the sheer difference in temperature from them touching caused a massive explosion that sent them flying apart in pain bearing a few minor marks.
Alfreda looked in surprise at what happened, then at him own hands that were glowing like they were in a forge. He then realized how much pain they were in and began shaking them yelping before he found a lake and shoved them in it cooling them. Alfreda sighed then looked over to see how Juan was doing.
To relabel Juan as a Slayer of Men would be an understatement.
The landscape that Chrysalis had occupied was painted with green blood with the bodies of millions of drones, Juan bearing a massive grin on his face as he fired his plasma gun at Chrysalis, the swarm producing eggs that quickly hatched replacing the ones that Juan killed, any that trying to dive in and consume him were met with denial by his chainsaw he bore in his other hand as he continued to move to avoid getting rushed. The Swarm divided into three bodies, and merged taking on three separate forms, a Bug Bear, a Chimera, and Cerberus. Juan simply smiled as he holstered his chainsaw, then put his plasma gun in his chest hatch and replaced it with a Gauss Cannon, firing a shot as he jumped back, blowing off the snake head and half the Tiger head of the chimera, releasing a couple drones that dove to attack. Juan switched to his Chaingun and fired keeping back the Chimera and Cerberus as the Bug Bear dove and managed to grab Juan flying up with him, and beginning to break apart into the Swarm. It didn't finish as Juan interrupted pulling out his Two Handed Chainsaw from his chest hatch, slashing it in two and free falling towards Alfreda before he deployed his wings and touched down next to him.
"Any idea how to keep em down long enough to get to the mirror?" He asked. "Started to get bored now."
"I have an idea, and a confession to make. I do have the Anti Matter Gun. I piss them off and they try to smite us, you fire the BFG, I'll fire the gun at it and it'll cause a massive explosion that'll knock em out and send us flying."
"Wow. That was actually thought out. How does your thought process work like that?"
"I have no idea." Alfreda replied before turning to the sisters who were moving slowly as they were slightly hurt by Alfreda's trick. "HEY USELESS PRINCESSES! I DON'T BELIEVE IN WHAT YOU WANT ME TO, OPPRESS ME FOR DISOBEYING, I COULD DO THIS ALL DAY!"
Luna and Celestia's eyes light up with rage as their magic began to build up around their long horns, each a maelstrom of power themed around the respected sister.
"Ok. On the count of three get the BFG out." Alfreda said as he pulled out the Anti-Matter Gun. "One..."
As Juan pulled out the BFG in preparation, Alfreda didn't make it to two as bursting out from the ground in front of them was Tidal at 40%, with a vortex of power swirling between his horns that then fired, Celestia and Luna's blasts zooming passed him, along with two moons from Luna.
"Three!" Juan shouted as he pulled the trigger, charging up then firing the green blast, already arching out to the ones that had fired their blasts, one arch even reaching behind Alfreda and Juan hitting Chrysalis, Alfreda then aimed ahead of the ball and fired just as the four beams connected. In a nanosecond of an instant, the energy collapsed in on itself into a singularity then nothingness, negating the explosion that would've wiped half the planet clean of life, however the shockwave remained and rocketed out, the vibrations in the ground able to be felt all the way to the Dragonlands, and the depths of Seaquestria.
Neither Alfreda or Juan were able to see what happened to the God Squad when the explosion beforehand and were just glad to be still alive. When they got a good looked at their surroundings, they saw most of the areas was flattened, trees across the area had been ripped up and littered everywhere, the two moons that were thrown were now meteorite chunks scattered around the area, resembling the remains of a dead civilization unearth by their battle. They spotted Celestia in a crater near them, unconscious, bruised, and beaten. Drawing the same conclusion upon realizing the other were most likely in this state as well, they high tailed back to the castle, where Jack sat shaking.
"Whatever you did to cause that explosion was awesome!"
"Try that little trick again and I'll slice deeper."
"Duly noted." Alfreda shot a blast from the Portal Gun at the mirror, the surface rippled before turning a royal purple. Juan quickly ran in, but as Alfreda and Jack tried to, someone spoke up.
"Enough!" Alfreda and Jack turned to see Cadence standing in the doorway looking very mad backed up by Shining Armor.
"Hey it's the God of Denny's, you know the first time I went there you took too long with my order but managed to get Alfreda's order done by the time we decided to leave." Jack complained.
"You're under arrest for the assault of the Royalty of the Equestrian, Capricorn, and Changeling Kingdoms." Cadence declared.
"By whose authority? You? Queen Sex Addicts Anonymous with gawking from the sidelines by God of Knock Off IHOP?" Alfreda asked kissing his IHOP card with respect.
Crashing through the wall left of Alfreda and Jack was Nightmare Moon and Corona, the latter's mane ablaze in unyielding rage.
"Chicken Brothers, Retreat!" Alfreda declared, Jack following behind him, barely avoiding a beam as they fell through. They got up off the floor and looked around them seeing they were at the top of a cliff face, the portal thankfully dissipated, and Juan was looking around then turned to them.
"Mira quien llego el puta patrol." ("Well look who's here, the Bitch Patrol.")
"Well we're happy to see you too. Uh Alfreda didn't you have another arm?"
Alfreda saw his left arm was burnt off but mearly shrugged and grew it back. "Well that's another universe to avoid."
"Stop focusing on just getting home man. Seriously just find a lady."
"I think I know one for you Jack. Her name's Gravity." Alfreda replied grabbing Jack and throwing him off the cliff sending him plummeting down. "He forgot he could fly didn't he?"
"Yep. Don't care." Juan replied.
Location: Earth Primax 703.02 Gamma
The Spatter finished stripping the metal off the dead cybertronians, the last reason to stay on this inert mud ball being carried off from the graveyard of bodies, picked clean of all it could provide. As he tossed the parts into the cart, a shadow rose up in front of him, he turned around to see Anti-Matter with a patient look on her face, startling him.
"What is the patient's condition?" She asked.
"Nearly perfect. All the modes are intact. We just need a new replacement for the car mode." The Spatter replied handing a tablet to her, showing Alfreda's progress.
"I think our prey will eventually provide us with just the right one." Anti-Matter deduced with a smile, eyeballing Footage of Juan Mufungo in a Warthog absolutely decimating his opposition.
Author's Note
This universe is from the interesting mind of defender2222 granted by his permission.
*1. See Immortal Wirewolf Teamup's #1: DOOM
*2. See Immortal Wirewolf Teamup's #2: Rick and Morty
*3. Again, see Immortal Wirewolf Teamup's #1: Doom
Before you get crazy, those little tags to those stories I never wrote are there as jokes since the setting of the series has always been more comic focused in some areas. I just put them to plant the idea that Alfreda interacted with Doomguy and other people not seen and how well it must've turn out based on reactions from being reminded of their ordeals.
Keep every word in the Anti-Matter scenes in mind...
Immortal Wirewolf 2: The Adventures of Alfreda and El Quatros Locos
Location: 1026 York Street
Universe: Earth Felidae 813.28
Time: 12:00 PM
Status: Stable
A blue portal opened in the middle of the street and zooming out of it was a Warthog driven by Juan, who had a crazed smile on his face, while Alfreda was digging his claws into his seat terrified, same with Jack as he clung to the turret like a flag pole as the Warthog barreled down the road, quite literally as the Warthog went down the street that was a hill.
"I HATE HILLS!" Alfreda screamed as the Warthog soared through the air, the red light camera catching it mid-flight, Alfreda vomiting out the side, Juan caught mid laugh, and Jack accidentally hitting his crotch on the turret as the Warthog screeched sliding across the pavement before Juan pulled the emergency brake and did a drift into a parking spot in front of the hospital. As Juan breathed in and out to relax, Alfreda raised his head back up shaking, before ducking back to the side for one more puke.
"Sorry, I may have gone a little crazy when we drove out of the ship*. When I saw all the landscape and the Covenant littering it, thought the grass could use a little more purple to balance out the Flood corpses." Juan explained as he got out and popped the hood open, releasing a large amount of smoke as Juan took out a towel to fan it away. "Ok I might've fucked up the Radiator, I could cop another one from someone else, but I don't know what universe this is so I don't know if the Warthog will do with something from the 21st Century.
"Hey guys I think we're back in Elmore*." Jack said looking around.
"How can you be sure? Multiverse Theory's a bitch, its like looking for a needle in a haystack that spans infinity."
"Simple. There's the hole in the wall from when I stole all the Jello." Jack pointing to the hole in the hospital that was in fact shaped like him carrying something in his arms.
"Yeah only you're dumb enough to pull that shit." Juan replied.
"Correction, dumb enough to do it twice ."' Jack said before running inside.
Alfreda pinched the bridge of his eyes as he groaned. "I'm not saving him this time."
"I'm gonna see who's coming to in the coma ward to freak them out with what they've missed and make them think it's the future." Juan replied walking off into said ward, preemptively chopping a security guard in his throat sending him gagging to the ground. As Alfreda trailed behind him to grab him, he spotted someone familiar in one of the rooms and stepped back.
He looked inside surprised to see who he saw. The Watterson family huddled together around the bed where Nicole sat unconscious, breathing slowly.
"Is it okay to say that I had nothing to do with this?" Alfreda asked to which the family looked at him surprised to see him.
"Alfreda. You're back." Gumball said in shock.
"Yeah. Just as surprised as you are. What happened to your mom?"
"She...Something was wrong with her, she was starting to get more angry easier outside the house, and I'm pretty sure when we went to the doctors about it first, her blood set the needle on fire. Then when we looking for a parking spot, she had some type of stroke so we drove here." Richard explained.
"Did you move her body coming here?"
"If you saw our car in the wall next to the front entrance you wouldn't be asking that."
"Oh no I'm asking because I saw that. And on another note do you even have the insurance to pay for this?"
"Well, considering Nicole nearly broke an IV worth $800 and hers has started to melt in the past two days, no."
Alfreda nodded his head before reaching into his chest hatch and pulling out a wad of cash and pulling the bandage doctor aside. "This should cover the expenses, and a little something for you."
"It's very well appreciated sir but it's gonna take a lot more then this to pay off the damages she's done even while unconscious."
'I don't even wanna know.' Alfreda thought as he pulled out two gold bars in response. "Cash these."
"How much money do you have?" Anais asked astonished.
"Oh tons, you know me and the guys got stuck in the city back during it's founding, we got invested in a lot of stuff in this town."
Jack was thrown into the room followed by Juan running in behind him, then slamming the door behind him, barricading it with another patient's bed, while the former panted covered in blood that was most likely not his. "Apparently Jell-O's one thing, but the pudding's are to die for."
"Does every time we go back somewhere, you have do some shit and you end up locking us in together as they beat down the door?" Juan asked looking around the room. "Oh hey Darwin."
"Name one time! " Jack replied.
"The Star Website plummet."
"The what?" Darwin asked, Nicole's Heart Monitor slightly quickening, catching Alfreda's attention.
"Well I heard about those websites before we came back in time, a long story in itself, and thought it'd be an awesome idea to do it first so I could get paid for paving the way, at least on paper it was. I got the website up and running, but due to being just a little stingy with the funds, the whole great grandchildren's children line never loaded fully by the time everyone ordered them. The mass refunds everyone that didn't wait for that part caused the company, to literally , and I mean for the building to physically against all logic to exist , implode on itself, your money was literally all I had left and I was too paranoid about it continuing with hunts for me to give it back to you guys."
"So you still have it?" Gumball said with hope.
"Oh no I lost every cent of that shit. Not in stocks or drugs like an idiot I lost it the usual way people do. Left it in the Uber." Jack said mumbling the last part to himself in embarrassment.
"Uh what was that? Speak up, you said you lost it at least admit it." Juan said loving every bit of this moment.
Jack sighed as he straightened up. "Left it in the Uber, lied to myself saying I got the last laugh no starring him."
Meanwhile as they talked, Alfreda walked closer and looked at Nicole, his vision oddly changing to a full red from his point of view to scan her body, finding something... dark in her. Something that found a roost in her, and somehow, Alfreda felt it was definitely his b. He then slowly realized that while she was unconscious, Nicole heard everything around her, which meant she was hearing Jack and Juan's little exposition about the Star Website, which Richard invested an imbecilic amount of money on, causing the problems the family always faced. Alfreda backed away as he began to feel her rage, the monitor's beeps speeding up as a symbol popped up with each one as the machines green color turned into blood red. Alfreda sweated a little as another horror dawned on him; it was rage that attracted it to her, and pissing her off like this?
"Guys, I think we should listen to Lil Jon and get low!"
"To the window!" Jack yelled two steps ahead of Alfreda, jumping out the window and crashing on top of the Watterson's car. "Okay I just smashed your car roof. That's my b!"
"No worries Jack, I have a feeling today's everybody's b."
"I have done literally nothing wrong." Juan spoke up.
"Join the club." Gumball added.
As the door began to break down slowly, crutches and hands sprawling out the opening, and being increasingly fueled by Jack idiocy, Nicole let out a roar like a primordial beast as her body began to change, her fur burning off revealing shiny red metal beneath it, a third red eye painfully rising above the other two, her whole body beginning to ignite in blood red flames.
Juan grabbed Darwin and Anais and dove through the window tucking and rolling protecting them. Alfreda looked over Richard and simply kicked him out the hole, Richard getting caught immediately on a branch that lowered him safely. He then tossed Gumball out landing right on Richard's stomach, completely cushioning the fall.
Alfreda wiped his brow as he looked to see the door break down and the patients running out in rage, one carrying a burning effigy of Jack.
"Hold it, hold it, HOLD IT!" Alfreda yelled causing them to stop. He then took out a treasure chest full of jewels and tossed it to them to which the crowd caught it.
"Look to my right." Alfreda said gesturing to Nicole, roaring out as her body grew, ripping her burning clothes as her snout elongated, most of her body warping taking on more bestial wirewolf like features. "Need I say more?"
The crowd took the hint and ran off as Alfreda nodded then tried to run off, but was stopped by a large metal arm with talon like claws. Alfreda looked up to see Nicole staring at him, the flames threatening to consume her whole room, her eyes that terrifying feral yellow with black slits, but then those slits started to turn red and her eyes darkened, her face stretching out looking less and less like her.
"Hell no!" Alfreda yelled jumping over and diving out the window joining the others on ground level.
"What's wrong with mom?!" Gumball asked.
"That ain't yo mama anymore, whatever's in there, it may have been more specifically my b." Alfreda replied.
"JA~~~~CK!!!" A monstrous voice roared from the hole.
"Or Jack's I don't think it's gonna discriminate." Alfreda added before something smashed out the window and crashed into the ground floor, rising up to reveal itself.
Nicole was no more, in her place, was a massive wirewolf looking beast, massive claws that could rip a lot of things with blood in half, a thick tail that could crush any pipe it finds, it's mouth was shaped into a permanent sneer bearing rows of teeth that glistened like daggers, with three eyes black like the deepest void, blood red slits that stared death at them. On it's chest it bore a large pitch black symbol that appeared in the Heart Monitor that seemed to glow with power.
"Never fought a Dog O War before." Juan noted.
"Ooh this can be a learning experience." Jack added.
The Dog O War roared and charged aiming for Jack, who ran away behind a car, which the Dog O War lifted up, allowing Jack to look up at it in terror, with his eyes wide like a puppy's complete with droopy ears and little whimper as it slammed the car down on him with a large crunch.
"Jack!" Alfreda yelled held back by Richard.
"What are you worried about?" Darwin asked before the Dog O War turned around, finding new prey in the others. "Oh right."
A honk caught everyone's ears to which they looked over to see Juan in his Warthog with the Watterson car next to him, the roof fixed up. Juan moved around quick from the driver's seat to the turret and fired in the Dog O War's direction.
The Beast roared from the shot and stumbled back a little as the shots burned impacting it's symbol, before it shielded it's chest by going on all fours and walking forward, slowly, and very pissed off.
"Richard, be a good parent and get Anais out of here, if this goes south at least have a next of kin that'll successfully continue your bloodline. Alfreda, grab the boys, we're playing Jurassic Park again." Juan ordered as he pulled a rocket launcher out of his chest and fired at the beast stunning it. Richard got to work and drove off in the direction behind the Dog O War while Juan drove the other way, grabbing Darwin as Alfreda jumped on holding Gumball, the Dog O War roaring then chasing after the Warthog, leaving burning footprints in it's wake.
"Ok 1. You we're been hanging out with Rick too much based on that first order you gave, and 2. that thing has no targets on it to aim for."
"Yeah it does, three on the head, and have you seen that mouth?" Juan asked keeping his eyes on the road trying to lose it.
Alfreda shrugged and made sure Gumball and Darwin were secured in their seat, well also comfortable since they had to share the passenger seat. He then turned around and began firing on the Dog O War, the bullets simply bouncing off the metal hide as it inched closer and closer. Alfreda tried firing at the eyes, managing to get a good few into it's middle eye, cracking it badly to which the Dog O War tripped.
"Motherf*cker!" It roared in a deep male voice as it crashed into Ripley 2000 igniting it in flames.
"We heard that thing cuss right?"
'Yeah totally.' Jack's voice said in his head.
"Thanks Jack- Jack?! You're alive?"
'Yeah, I jumped away before Nicole O War could flatten me and ran to hide in Richard's trunk.'
"We're not calling her that. Wait why are you in my head?"
'I'm just as confused as you are, I was in here bored thinking of what I could do without getting us killed, then I started hearing your thoughts of dying and how you peed yourself.'
'Wait does Juan know about this?' Alfreda asked panicked as Jack said that last part.
'I don't know let me check.' Jack said before going silent.
"Alfreda, why is Jack talking to me in my head, what did you do?" Juan asked growing a little angry.
"Telepathic link not my fault."
"Fine. You know he told me you pissed yourself right?" Juan asked causing Gumball and Darwin to laugh.
"I figured as much." Alfreda said before the earth around them shook. Before anyone could react, the ground opened up, the Dog O War bursting out sending the Warthog flying through the air landing on its side next to the radio station.
"Okay." Alfreda said, his lower body entirely crushed beneath a red car a couple feet from the station that was affected by the mini Earthquake and had landed on him. When he shifted himself to sit up a little, it gave him a full view of the car crushing his lower body. Alfreda looked slightly surprised and slightly confused as for some reason, it hurt, but the amount of pain he felt was not proportioned to the cause of pain itself. "Ow."
"Alfreda..." The Dog O War said, his voice a lot more clear, with a deep baritone to it as he walked forth towards the pinned Wirewolf. "Since the first time she hurt you I dreamed of the moment I would get to myself."
"Okay I'm still new to the whole people always coming to kill me deal going on for the past week. How do you play into this time? And for the record Nicole has never laid a single one of her claws on me, at least not this one." Alfreda asked, the Dog O War placed one foot on the car and applied pressure for about two, bending it like tinfoil, nearly reducing it to half it's original width, and making Alfreda squirm as the pain slightly intensified as the Dog O War raised it's arms up in dominance and to show the symbol on it's chest.
"I am Malice! God of all Rage, anger, and generally malign thoughts. My own rage knows no limits, feeding me alongside those other ones, which includes every little thing from Nicole..." Malice chuckled a little as he licked his lips, staring at a reflection in the window to see Nicole's possessed and certainly in pain eyes beneath his. "That naughty girls was having some feverish dreams about how to mutilate you after you enraged her, the aspect of being unable to die, her own skills acquired her own strenuous and quite piquant childhood, she has given such a marvelous banquet of anger and contempt that is sure to fill me. At least until I find my daughter. And killing you for the information is an opportunity I will enjoy and you're gone already aren't you?"
As Malice looked back where Alfreda was, he saw there was only a stain of blood. When he pushed the car over, he found only one leg from Alfreda still there.
Malice growled before a honking noise caught his ears and looked up to see the Watterson Car ram into him sending him onto his back. Before he could even react, Jack pried his jaw open and shoved himself until his legs were kicking out of his mouth before planting on his eyes. Jack moved some of Malice's flesh aside as he was able to find Nicole's face.
"Wake up." Jack said lightly slapping her face a little. He continued to do so until she began to groan trying to move. "Ok NC, it's your work buddy. Not the one that bit it when the air conditioner fell out the window, the other work buddy."
"Ju....Ju..." She struggled to say.
"C'mon, you can say it, you're thinking of Juan, it's Jack, the guy who broke your toilet using it too much, the guy that changed your password without ever telling you. Nicole I found your wedding dress."
Nicole's eyes shot open before she looked around completely terrified. "Where am I? What's happened to me?"
Before Jack could answer, he felt something stabbing in his midsection.
Back on the outside, Juan was preoccupied battling Malice, while Alfreda was on top of the monster attempting to pull Jack out by the legs as Malice continuously tried to chomp down when Juan grabbed Jack's other leg and managed to pull Jack out with one pull before diving in himself, using his legs to keep Malice's jaws pried apart, greatly discomforting the latter.
"Nicole, wish we could've met again in a more... calm scenario."
Nicole snarled trying to reach out, missing him by inches, only to notice the large red tentacle wrapped around her wrist threatening to consume her whole arm.
"You're in a monster that Alfreda apparently has beef with, and it feeds off your anger. I have an idea. I need you to get angrier, if he can feed off your anger, it might be possible that you could feed off his."
"How. What if this thing sees through that trick and just gets more food-" Juan slapped Nicole across her face, causing her to get extremely pissed in that moment, making Malice stumble a little from the power boost he just received making him feel more then full, lingering on wether or not the exact feeling was queasiness.
"I have done many things that will piss you off, but before I tell you the top tiers, I want to tell you, that if you don't do this, Richard is gonna die. Your kid's gonna die. Your world is gonna die. You're gonna die. And he's just gonna worry about where to go take his first dump in a new body for the crap that's gonna be your body. Is that what you want? To die someone's dinner? You're Nicole Watterson, you hit Alfreda with a truck, Alfreda hit you with a fridge, I hit you with a shovel and literally tried to kill you in self defense, Jack put your shrunken wedding dress on a dog and it ran away. Now take the shit I gave you, clock in overtime in your rage clock, and quit being a horrible mother."
Juan winced as he felt something burning him and felt himself be pulled out landing on top of Alfreda. He looked back to Malice as he stumbled coughing up some blood that burned what it touched.
"What, did you do?" He asked before a right hook from his own arm as he started to beat on himself for some reason.
"Hell hath no fury like a woman scored."
Alfreda was going to ask Juan something before another thought crossed his mind. "If its an anthropomorphized woman, does it still work, or do you change it for the female pronoun?"
"Good question." Jack replied.
Malice fell to his knees as he held his stomach before he threw up his blood, boiling the asphalt in front of him.
"Okay this shouldn't be happening yet." Malice groaned awfully causal about this sudden development before vomiting again.
"Seriously Juan, what the hell did you do to him?"
"I woke up Nicole and convinced her to get angrier then him. I figured if he was a type of creature that could gain it's own form after feeding off its host, I figured that in this point of the process he'd be vulnerable to being overfed."
Malice's left arm drove into the side of his face, breaking his left eye lens, roaring in pain as the hand pulled out and Nicole's glowing orange eyes was visible beneath. She reached an arm out and tried slamming her arm on something, and ended up getting his middle eye shattering it.
"Oh come on!" Malice yelled as he swung around blindly as his remaining eye darted around completely discombobulated.
"Okay so now we have a blind Dog O War to fight. You suck Ju-" Before Alfreda could finish, he spotted Juan on top of the Radio Station, starting to slice at the base with his claws.
'Wanna not suck like I apparently do? Then do me a favor and save Nicole's dumb anger management needing ass before I end up killing her too.' Juan ordered to which Alfreda stood at the ready as Malice's large throat began to bulge as something tried to come out, before he finally vomited out something solid covered in his inner bodily fluids.
"Gross. " Alfreda said at the sight before the pile moved and emerging from all the layers was Nicole herself, panting heavily. Alfreda was hesitant, but grabbed her, grimacing at the consistency of the fluids.
"It's a girl. Mazel tov!" jack declared to which Nicole threw a mailbox at him as Malice continued to vomit. But as he did, it went from blood red to a dark purple, more sludge like in consistency.
"Okay I didn't do that. " Nicole said backing up as something began to form from the pile itself with two arms and legs and deformed horns on his head. Before anyone could react, the small imp like creature ran as fast as he could away to the left as Malice's only working eye watched him run.
"You bitch." He growled in disgust.
"No. That would be me. " Nicole replied cracking her knuckles.
"TIM~BER~~!!!" Juan yelled out, to which Malice looked up to see the tower falling over, more specifically, towards him. As Malice ran away as best he could with no depth perception, Juan brought out his super shotgun and fired the underhand grappling claw to latch onto Malice by the neck, pulling the trigger as he closed the distance, kicking the Dog O War upside his head sending him crashing to the ground.
Malice sighed and choose to stay down as the antenna crashed. Everyone shielded themselves from the wind before it died down. Everyone looked to see the gnarled, damaged mess of metal that used to be Malice, billowing smoke and fire, his only good eye flickering before it finally dimmed out. Juan got closer to the wreck and lightly plucked the nerve, not noticing something taking out random things in the wreck then crawling off. Juan took out his knife and sliced the nerve down the middle making a necklace out of it.
"You know that's mad unsanitary right?" Alfreda asked.
"I'll get a proper strap when I care, which will be later, not now, when there's still her." Juan replied pointing to Nicole who glared at the three.
Jack shifted forward awkwardly as he cleared his throat.
"Ok I'm sorry about the dog. I miss him every-"
"Ok what sorts of Cosmic Horrors will me and my family have to defend ourselves from thank to our interactions with you?" Nicole asked Juan, completely ignoring Jack, and looking ready to pounce on him.
"To be fair we were just as surprised. We have no idea what enemies we've made. just a piece of advice, I told Alfreda to save your ass so you would go squish with Malice, you're welcome." Juan replied walking with his back away against Nicole. "Yo Alfreda, Portal gun, we should get going."
"Hold on." Alfreda said reaching in his chest hatch for it, pulling out a briefcase in his search, causing it to open revealing a a whole lot of money in it. "Oh that's from me, it's just enough to pay off the house and get out of your debt. Meant to give it last time, but you were chasing with murderous intent. Oh here it is."
Alfreda finally found it and fired a portal next to him. "El Puta Patrol, out." Alfreda said trying to exit as Juan and Jack beat him through before Nicole grabbed him by the tail.
"Oh~ no, we have unfinished business." Nicole said with a clenched fist.
"Uh~ guys?" Alfreda asked before Nicole pulled him back. "Yeep!"
Alfreda Owned Count: 18
"Okay what the hell is that!?" Jack yelled jumping behind Juan at the sight of a random counter in the middle of the air just for Alfreda.
"God's way of letting Alfreda in on his own joke." Juan guessed as Nicole was scratching at Alfreda's face like, well like a giant house cat so worse then norma, all while the counter continued to rise.
Alfreda Owned Count: 20
"Okay theory confirmed."
Location: Equis Nihilus 1115.28
“I gave you Malice, Sigil.” Anti-Matter said looking out her window at the minions she had at work in her grand design, her tone filled with irritation as she viewed the footage of Juan chopping the antenna tower down crashing right on Malice, crushing him into a mess of metal and fire. “That host you gave him was supposed to charge him enough to burn Alfreda to a crisp and kill his friends before that footage could even loop, and yet here you stand before me, with what’s left of him… as a toaster.”
The Spatter shook a little before offering it to her chuckling fearfully, two slices of toast popping out with a ding. “It can actually get it to that perfect brown tone.”
Anti-Matter held it in her grip, ready to transmute it, before the idea of perfect brown toast entered her mind and she spared it. Sigil however…
Anti-Matter thrusted her hoof against his throat to the window, cracking it and the footage it was playing on it, smiling as she saw him squirm in front of the view of a long and quite terrible death. “You know that toast is gonna be great with some eggs, but where to get the salt... ” She lamented grinning at the last part as her horn glowed followed by her occupied hoof.
Sigil squirmed more in a panic as he felt something get a hold of his Blot Matter about to transmute it, watching Anti-Matter’s face turned more strained as she closed her eyes.
‘Shit what's the chemical formula for salt again?’ She thought to herself, racking her brain for the answer, when she got one.
‘NaCl, though I personally would go for H2SO4, or as you might know it better, Sulfuric Acid.’
‘Oh~ that does sound-’ Anti-Matter never finished her thought as a moment after she instantly recognized who talked, she turned to Sigil with a glare backing up from the window. “Sigil, consider yourself excused today.”
“What?” Before he could ask more, she threw him through the window sending him soaring down below crashing right on top of the statue that was erected of her, knocking the head off into the lake of Blot Matter.
“Opps. I hope you won’t get peeved about that Twily.” The figure said stepping out of the shadows, revealing herself.
She was an alicorn full two head taller than Anti-Matter, much like the average Princess of Equestria, with a wingspan to boot, wearing a red skin suit custom fitted on her, sinister orange armor lined across it, small and spiked an industrial look to it, her hooves strapped with clawed gauntlets. Her mane was an inferno of fire that never burned the parts of her white fur that were visible, her eyes were black pits like black holes sucking in all the light to fuel her own flames, the irises orange, her pupils slit with the slightest tinge of red in them. She wore a helmet that covered the back of her head, with a dragon horn vibe to it, her shit eating grin sporting large meat tearing incisors that made Anti-Matter feel self conscious and inadequate about her own.
“Twily is dead, Daybreaker.” Anti-Matter said lowly barely containing her anger.
“Yes yes, I’m Anti-Matter, I’m her replacement you know your lines aren’t really that original if you think about it. Personally I prefer Corona Nova but Daybreaker, that’s a new one, I like it.”
“I watched you die, I took your heart to get your blood, built my empire from the train wreck you left behind.”
“Yes and look how marvelous that went. Killed by a half bred Inequine with a gun, reanimated only to die again, given a second chance at life afterward which you dedicated to killing that deathless idiot, and you still fail at that? ”
“Half bred what?”
Daybreaker’s eyes widened before she began to snicker like a little girl that was gossiping before she regained her composure. “Oh my Student, you think I showed you everything, but I still have some secrets that I intended to keep to myself.”
“I’ve traversed across dimensions and seen parts of reality that would drive any other me mad with denial in front of the truth.” Anti-Matter turned her back to her former mentor.
“Child’s...” Daybreaker draped a wing over her back. “Play.” She gave Anti-matter’s cheek a playful lick.
“Never!” As she could feel the rough tongue drag across her skull, the flames around it flared. “Ever!” Her entire office began to dissolve. “Touch!” Her desk turned into water. “Me!” The carpet turned into steam, the curtains into piles of salt, and the walls started to dissolve into slime. “Again!”
“Oh little Twily.” Daybreaker booped their noses together. “I missed hearing you scream that!”
“RAH!” Anti-matter’s horn flared. The room exploded as the steam turned to gas, and the salt turned into lit matches.
As smoke billowed out the hole, Anti-Matter calmed down, she looked around, finding Daybreaker completely vanished, her office completely wrecked, and as if to rub the hassle creating choice to destroy her office wasn’t enough, Someone knocked the door, before said door disintegrated into coffee grounds and a punk themed Phantom Blot with a mohawk standing 8’ 11’’* looked in a bit confused.
“So should I come back on that offer when you're more composed or will that not be happening?” He asked, his voice carrying a somewhat thick cockney accent to it.
Anti-Matter’s horn glowed to which he took the hint and ran. She looked out the broken window as Sigil was plucked up from the lake by her magic as he was brought in front of her again.
“Good news. You get to live. Better news, it’s cleaning this up.” Anti-Matter said walking out leaving Sigil to groan at the sight.
“She could at least have transmuted me a broom at least.” Sigil muttered half expecting to be turned into said broom when the melted slime next to him was turned into one for him complete with dust bin. Sigil looked out the hole surprised and simply shrugged before starting to sweep up the ashes, minding the claw marks that looked like something wearing armor was scratching at the floor.
Author's Note
And finally the third chapter is done. And now a new player's been put onto the board... expect the next chapter a little late with the vote I'm not really sure where to go next. And know that this choice will only be for 'season 1'. Season 2 will be more streamlined.
The scene after the break was a collab between me and New Lunar Principality(Go support him) .
*1 See Immortal Wirewolf Teammup's #9: Halo Reach
*2 See their first visit back in Immortal Wirewolf Teammup's #0: The Amazing World of Gumball
*3 The Phantom Punk, See Immortal Wirewolf Teammup's #6: Sunset Overdrive
And if you want to help the direction in how these chapters out, vote below
Follow the link.
View Online
Immortal Wirewolf 2: The Adventures of Alfreda and El Quatros Locos
IW2 #4: Alfreda and Jack's Multiversal Adventure
Location: Everfree Forest
Universe: Equis 426.14
Time: 9:00 AM
Status:
The Portal opened, but instead of being able to see the other side, it was completely solid. Alfreda stepped through cautiously, followed by Juan with his shotgun at the ready. Jack stepped through with no care and looked around, finding themselves within the Everfree Forest again.
"Anyone else getting a case of Dejon Vu right now?" Jack asked.
"It's deja vu and that's because we're more then likely just in another universe if the last multiple times sailed right over your head."
"We're in the Everfree again? Gay~ , why couldn't we go to one of those cool forests? Like Green Hill Zone, or Nilbog."
"They tried to eat you. " Juan pointed out.
"That's been my lifelong dream. No one's ever shown an interest so far to consuming my techno organic flesh like they did. I didn't like how they kept trying to get me to eat their vegetables though, it felt like an invasion of space."
Before Juan could reply in a way that would damage Jack's ego and personal idea of himself, he heard something and swung his shotgun towards the origin. "We're not alone."
"ATTACK~!! " A nasally voice yelled out to which a yellow blur tackled Juan and a green one tackled Jack. Alfreda yelped jumping back landing on someone.
"Oh sorry I didn't see you."
"No it's my bad I just froze I don't know why that happened." A voice exactly matching his own. Alfreda was confused and looked back to find he was looking at himself.
He got up immediately confused and looked back to see Juan wrestling with what appeared to be another him, and Jack dodging tail jabs from a bug man with an orange beak mouth.
"Cell stop trying to drink that guy, would you like it if someone tried to drink you?" The other Alfreda told the bugman.
"I'd like to see the bitch to try when the day comes." 'Cell' replied before Jack swept his legs and punched him in his face.
Alfreda's hand converted into blaster mode and he fired into the sky causing everyone to stop fighting. "Break it up, we're obviously all cool here, let's just talk this out."
"Yeah, voice of reason from Mister Never Die." Juan snarked.
"Espera, ¿puedes hablar inglés?"(Wait, you can speak english?) The other Juan asked.
"You can't?"
"Before we get any further, what's your story?" Alfreda asked Alfreda 2(What he'll be referred to as for the rest of this chapter)
"Okay someone please explain because I haven't been this confused since trying to figure out what the hell is an aglet." Jack asked.
"1. It's the little plastic things on the tips of shoelaces, and 2. I think we just met our counterparts." Alfreda replied.
"¿Por qué tu Juan llega a hablar normalmente entonces?"(Why does your Juan get to speak normally then?) Juan 2 asked.
"Because I met them in a relatively normal way. They were trespassing, and I shot Alfreda."
"Oh hey that's how I met Launch." Cell replied surprised at the similarities.
"And with that I already hate you as much as I hate Jack."
"You know any cute chicks?" Jack asked the bug man.
"Well just my sister, and this Changeling that's me from another universe."
"Really no one else?"
"Well there was this Maron chick but she was a total bitch working for the government. That and I drank her."
"Cell you said you stopped that!" Alfreda 2 complained.
"This was before we met. And she's still dead because you went back in time so I kill her, just not on Earth, thus screwing her out of a second chance."
"Black Windows can stay in Hell where they belong." Alfreda 2 argued. "Especially that chick on the Avengers."
"Okay even I know that she's not an actual Black Widow." Alfreda brought up.
"Anyone else see the meteorite coming right for us?" Juan asked looking up.
Everyone did so and looked to see a purple meteor crashing a few feet away from them, steaming with purple smoke.
"Oh come on !" Alfreda 2 complained recognizing it as the meteorite cracked open and pouring out was a purple sludge.
The Sludge coagulated and merged to form a large monster made of sludge, bearing two large arms and big green predatory eyes that stared down Alfreda. Before spotting the other. It began to move it's view between them and scratched it's head in confusion.
"I don't think it know who it's supposed to kill." Juan observed. The creature roared in frustration and charged forth regardless.
"Creo que ya ha tomado una decisión."(I think he's made up his mind already.) Juan 2 replied as the beast swung it's claws crushing Alfreda 2 like a melon.
"Jesus! I'm like a water ballon full of paint when I get crushed. How come his blood get's to stay in his body when he does it?" Alfreda asked before noticing the pool of blood forming under his doppelgänger. "Ok withdrawn."
Both Juan moved to the side of the beast and fired on him from both sides distracting him as Cell and Jack worked together in pulling away Alfreda 2's body. Alfreda found a good sized branch and went to help the Juan's smacking the monster in the face earning it's attention, allowing Juan to jump on his back and stab him in the eyes making it scream in pain as Juan 2 blasted it's legs off causing it to land on it's face. Alfreda ran to a dead tree next to it and pushed hard, tipping it over to crash on top of the monster, the impact taking it break into pieces of sludge that littered the area.
"Good work team. Now what the hell was that thing?"
"Blotling." Juan 2 said in the only words that couldn't translate in Spanish.
"A what ling?"
"He just said it dumbass." Juan replied. "If you need us, we're gonna compare notes on how we plan to kill our respective idiots."
"Great. Have fun comparing murders." Alfreda then started to walk off in the direction of said idiots.
"Hey Alfreda! Cell had the awesome idea of us doing a cover of We are Number One, but it's the us and him and his Alfreda."
"Not happening." Alfreda replied reversing and walking in the other direction.
Anti-Matter's jaw was agape at what just happened. An attempt to kill Alfreda backfiring, but with the appeal of putting two within her grasp for revenge, and she still was no closer to the death of either one then with just one. Silently, she cut the feed, closing her mouth.
"I don't...I can't even figure out if I'm supposed to be mad that there's two of him, or confused because there's two of him."
"I'm not gonna lie. I'm just as confused as you are." Daybreaker replied.
"Ok then, let's just keep this...whatever this was, to ourselves."
"Yeah I had no idea what I was looking at either." Sigil said from behind, cloth in hand as he was polishing Anti-Matter's boots, to which she kicked him out the window, which was luckily open preventing another breakage.
Author's Note
Done, glad how this one came out, short but good, a nice way to show contrast between my old style and my new one. This chapter was supposed be released on the same day as my Birthday, my gift to you, and those of you that enjoyed DBZA(And patiently wait for Season 4 and everything in between) and or the original version of this story, but there was a slight schedule slip. Let this chapter satisfy you with the knowledge that the story still exists, it's just another universe.
The next chapter will be the first one that's an old one but being properly rewritten. Be patient.
Immortal Wirewolf 2: The Adventures of Alfreda and El Quatros Locos
IW2 #5: Enter, the Phantom Blot.
Location: The Moon
Universe: Equis 415.22
Time: 10:52 PM
Status: Radioactive
Alfreda, Juan and Jack jumped out of the portal than Alfreda sprayed all three of them with a high power hose. "Don't wanna kill anyone with radiation poisoning."
"Dude we never even went into those areas." Jack yelled out as he was against the wall from the pressure, Juan using him to get clean without being launched across the ground.
"You can never be too careful, I ate a bad apple back there*, 10 minutes later, dead."
"Hey I gave that other you we met some soda and he died twice just drinking it."
"Coincidence, and it was Anti-Freeze you idiot. Where are we anyway?" Juan asked looking around seeing only space above them, and a grey field below them.
"We're-" Alfreda stopped himself as he realized he was looking at Equis not too far away and looked at the ground making the conclusion. "On the Moon yeah totally makes sense why we can breathe right now, no it's not a bird straight to physics."
All three of them looked off into the distance and saw a gleaming castle.
"And that just makes it even better!" Alfreda yelled out.
Before another thing could be found to infuriate Alfreda on the physics with it, a rumble shook all three of them, They turned around saw a shadow rise from the dark side of the moon, emerging through the light to reveal it to be a large mass of some kind of sludge. It took shape, claws, arms, and wings forming revealing it's true form. It was a massive hulking black devil looking demon, with two bat wings failed open on it's back. It had only a web like mouth and sickly eyes that were a blood red.
The demon looked down and saw the three of them and grinned. "Why hello, you must be Alfreda, Anti-Matter told much about you."
Only Jack and Alfreda gasped before the former turned to the latter. "Who dat?"
Alfreda eye twitched as memories went through his mind of that name, the fear her skinless skull smiled at him, the fact that he spotted her turning some civilians into completely different elements in frustration of finding him, and now she's back, and he's her new priority. He opened his mouth, and it went from a minuscule yell, to a loud and terrified scream as he ran for the castle. Juan and Jack stood there for a second before looking at each other, completely forgetting the demon lumbering towards them and running to join their friend.
Alfreda ran to the castle and smacked on the doors and lightning speed. "OPEN UP! OPEN UP! OPEN UP! OPEN UP!" Footsteps on the other side were heard and Alfreda just lost it. "DAMMIT STOP TAKING SO LONG AND OPEN THE FU-"
Alfreda didn't finish as he rammed for the door but it opened causing him to go flying to the other side.
Juan and Jack jumped through as the door as it closed and barricaded it, Juan using things like couches and whole oven, while Jack was just using things like vases and picture frames. Alfreda was curled up on the floor hyperventilating until Jack slapped him five times and looked him in the eye, before slapping him one more time. "Calm down man, now who the hell is Anti-Matter?"
"Oh no one really. Just the BITCH THAT UP AND EXPLODED ME!!"
"You know that's not correct grammar wise Right?" Juan pointed out.
The doors shook a little as something was hitting it. Alfreda looked around and saw a bunch of dark fog like creatures look at them with curiosity. "You pick now to point out my punctuation?"
Juan was about to retort before stopping himself. "Touché"
"All right. Let's go fight a giant sludge monster."
Juan sighed and followed Alfreda and Jack as they stepped outside and the demon was a few feet away from them. "I believe we never formally introduced, I... am the Phantom Blot."
"Wait a minute..." Alfreda said as the name caused a headache in his brain, and with it came memories that lifted some of the fog his brain had. "Ricky? Wow man you look different, how's Devastator? Also have you been lifting weights?"
"Not him you idiot, I am the original. He just claimed my powers and expelled me as I would've destroyed him. I returned sometime after and faced him, I almost won had it not been for that whore of a Solar Mare."
Jack stepped forward clearly ready to point something out. "Just to go on record, even though I like her better, I think Luna would be the bigger whore as what with hookers also going by Mistress of the Night."
"Not dignifying that, Anti-Matter came to me as I licked my wound with the promise of after delivering you to her, she would personally assist me in killing Ricky and his whore."
As Phantom Blot began to monologue, it was quickly cut off by a blast of plasma blowing up in his face sending some of his matter floating into space. He looked back with murderous intent focus on Juan who had a plasma cannon in his arms smoking from the shot.
"You were droning on, can we fight now?"
Phantom Blot said nothing as he built up something in his throat, then spat something at their feet. It rose up and revealed itself to be Phantom Blot, at Alfreda's height, and was colored plum with sickly green eyes.
"Fine." Phantom Blot charged in swinging sending Jack flying into the castle and pinning Juan to the ground. Juan's right hand brought out a taser, then fired the prongs at Phantom Blot. He screamed as the electricity surged through his Blot Matter releasing Juan who then proceeded to deck him across the face sending him stumbling back.
"Since when did you have a taser?" Alfreda asked in awe.
"You have your secret utilities I have mi-" Juan was interrupted as a green ball of energy impacted with him in his chest sending him flying back.
Before Alfreda could respond, Phantom stretched his arm out to Alfreda and grabbed him by the neck pulling him towards him. As he tightened his grip Alfreda didn't seem to squirm more. "How hard is it to choke you, and on another note how aren't you dead there's no atmosphere."
"Oh sure everyone question things about Alfreda." Alfreda gagged annoyed. "And does it really matter if you're killing me."
"Well pardon me for being curious." Phantom Blot replied with a smirk tightening his grip making Alfreda squirm like a fish.
"Regret! Regret!" Alfreda gagged when he heard something and turned around in time for something to kick Phantom Blot in the face sending him spiraling back and releasing his grip on Alfreda. Alfreda gasped finally able to breathe looked up and saw a black mare in blue armor, with a starry like mane, sharp wings, and cat-like irises facing down Phantom Blot. The sight of her caused another headache to come on as he remembered a mare from his world that looked like her. "Mistress Nightmare?"
Nightmare snorted in annoyance looking at him. "Not only are you a sniveling worm, you have a gaul to do this in my domain, but something to relieve the boredom of this imprisonment is better then nothing. So let us begin, Phantom Blot."
"Yes let us, uh..."
"You actually have no idea who I am." Nightmare deadpanned.
"Should I?"
"I am Nightmare Moon, The Goddess of the Night, Queen of this Rock-"
"And Giver of about zero f*cks. Oh wait, that's me." Phantom Blot declared before Nightmare charged in to which he morphed around her and slammed her into the ground crushing her back legs. Nightmare screamed in the triangle hold before he clasped his hand over her mouth.
"Would you like to know what death tastes like?" Phantom Blot asked, his clamped hand glowing before Alfreda rammed into him as releasing the grip causing the beam to shoot out into space and he pinned Phantom Blot to the ground.
"Got your back Luna!"
Nightmare's eye twitched before she aimed her horn at both of them. "THAT'S IT KILLING YA BOTH!" Nightmare than shot a beam, the explosion making a noticeable crater that could be seen from Equis, but neither were apparently caught it in. Nightmare turned around in time for Phantom to charge at her and give a her a hard swing between the hind legs that was emphasized by a sickening crunch. Nightmare's eyes contracted from the intense pain as she let out a high pitched squeal of equal caliber until Phantom kicked her again across the head sending her into Alfreda who caught her.
"Ok. Not good for me."
Jack was looking at the situation through the hole in the wall he had made before going back to his work, one of the Nyx as the creatures said they were approached him confused at what he's doing. "Excuse me, but what exactly are you making?"
"A cannon we can shoot at that him
"Are you sure it'll work?"
"Well only two people here are immortal so the chances of the non immortals like us dying is incredibly high."
"Well than I suppose you're right."
"I hope so, that way I'll be able to save Juan. And maybe get a kiss from Nightmare."
"What about Alfreda?"
"What about Alfreda?"
Phantom Blot walked to them slowly grinning, while Alfreda and Nightmare Moon were panting, the latter of whom was holding her crotch in pain. "He keeps kicking me between the legs. Why? Why does he keep kicking me between the legs?"
"I have a plan, it's not a good plan, but it's a plan nonetheless." Alfreda said.
"If you say 'hit him really hard' again, I swear to my sister, I will kick you in the dick!"
"I was gonna say you go low and I go high, you don't get crotch kicked, I deck him in the schnoz, it's a win win."
Nightmare sighed. "Whatever."
The duo charged at Phantom Blot who stood there in confidence, which was quickly faded as his face turned into one of pain as Alfreda kicked him across the face and Nightmare dove and stabbed him in the stomach with her horn blowing a hole right through him as Alfreda's arms went into blaster mode.
"DODGE!" He shouted firing, Nightmare kicking Phantom Blot in the direction of the blast, blowing him up in a explosion of blot matter and plasma. Alfreda sighed as he looked over at the real Phantom who glared in frustration.
"Inconceivable, I had you on the ropes, yet you manage to pull off the most ass pull of ass pulls! How? How is that possible?"
"Easy, once I got a feel of how you fought, I started to think of a way to counter you. It's was closing battle from the start. Kinda like-"
"Don't you dare-"
"when I fought Anti-Matter."
Phantom Blot was about to say something before properly processing what Alfreda said. "Ok. Fair enough-"
"And just like my sister beating you."
Phantom Blot roared in fury charging at them, rocking the moon with his stride as he shot an arm forward, crushing Nightmare and grabbing Alfreda in his giant fist.
"Did Solar Mare ever do this?!"
"Okay where is your actual beef with her stemming from?"
"DIE! DIE~!!" Phantom Blot bellowed in rage crushing Alfreda before a grappling claw clung to his face and Juan came barreling towards him blasting him right in the eye with his shotgun, making the former scream in agony dropping Alfreda.
"It's rude to cut people off mid sentence. Pendejo."
Jack emerged out from the castle and made aim for Phantom's head with his cannon, glowing with energy not unlike the Nyx.
"Time to make you nothing more..." Phantom turned to Jack. "THAN A GHOST!"
Jack fired the shot, that went into Phantom Blot's head but didn't go off, allowing him to say his last words.
"Really?" Phantom Blot than sighed head down in acceptance, no longer finding the ability to care as his head exploded and his corpse was sent rocketing into space, where it exploded in a brilliant flash of green, purple and blue.
"Huh. That was easy." Alfreda pointed out. "Jack stop poking her."
"No." Jack replied continuing to do until Juan pulled him back as Nightmare stirred awake. Alfreda used the portal gun to open a new world, which caused a vacuum of air to push them back. Juan fired his shotgun's grappling claw, gripping a tree to pull him through with Alfreda and Jack in tow before the portal closed.
"I'm...I'm going to just rest my eyes." Nightmare groaned said before passing out.
Location: Maretropolis
Universe: Equis Nihilus 1115.28
Anti-Matter growled angrily as she continuously smashed the camera replaying footage from Phantom Blot's point of view.
"DAMN IT!! DAMN IT!! DAMN IT!! DAMN IT!! DAMN IT!!!" She shouted, her flames reaching up to the ceiling charring it black as she shot beams from her eyes that transmuted whatever she was looking at into whatever she was thinking of.
"Wow Bro, The boss is really pulling a Dad." Sigil remarked to the Blot's Shadow.
"Yes, such a shame to see Papa go like that, let's wait until she's done to get further instructions."
They quietly backed away from the meltdown as Anti-Matter continued to short in frustration.
"And you still say the student has become the master?" Daybreaker snarked, standing next to a untouched column.
"One job, I GAVE HIM ONE JOB TO DO! How hard is it to kill someone like him?"
"I don't know, how hard do you think it is to kill me?" She asked with a grin.
Anti-Matter sat over to her throne in front of her dusk in a huff, swiveling it around to face the outside, and used her horn to open a draw and pulled out a small stuffed doll, half of it was burnt with one good button eye.
"Just you wait Smarty Pants, even if I have to load them into cannons and fire until it hits him, I will have my revenge." Anti-Matter mumbled stroking it in her lap.
"You know I'm still here right?" Daybreaker said floating above her.
"GO AWAY!!" Anti-Matter shouted trying to blast Daybreaker who merely laughed flying jumping back from it, while Anti-Matter looked around hiding Smarty Pants incase anyone else, more specifically Sigil, were still watching.
Author's Note
* See Immortal Wirewolf Teammup's #9: Fallout 4
The Next chapter is going to cover a Non MLP topic, so tune in on DeviantART to see the next grand adventure. Next Chapter on Here: Well it's just Prime...
Immortal Wirewolf 2: The Adventures of Alfreda and El Quatros Locos
IW2 #7: Getting to the Root of things
Location: Ponyville, Equestria
Time: 12:20 PM
Universe: Equis 1010.10
Status: KTFO*
Twilight walked through a clear day in Ponyville. It had been two days since Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie's visit to Griffonstone but not much outside of some Pinkie Sense alarms happened, along with Matilda Mule's wedding coming up. Pinkie Pie passed by Twilight and waved to her when her tail twitched and she hid under a fruit stand scared. Twilight teleported her umbrella hat to her and looked up at the sky closely not seeing anything rapidly approaching the town. She looked under the fruit stand at her pink friend. "Pinkie Pie, I know it's usually never wrong, but what if it was just a false alarm this one time. But then again it could be someone falling through the sky screaming-"
"Black Dynamite you ain't SHI~IT!!!!" Something smacked onto the side of the Rainbow Castle and landed in some bushes by the front door. Twilight and Pinkie ran over and were surprised at what they found. It was a mechanical biped yellow wolf, with what appeared to be a familiar blue glittering horseshoe lodged into his butt. He got up and yelped as he saw the two mares, ending up behind the door. Pinkie Pie's eyes widened along with her smile as she realized what this meant.
"NEW FRIEND IN PONYVILLE PARTY~~!!" She ran off to grab her party cannon and the wirewolf ran through door as soon as she left and slammed it behind him. Twilight tried to get in but found that it was not only locked but it was barricaded rather quickly.
Alfreda panted as he finished barricading and or boarding up the windows and making sure he had plenty of traps incase anyone tried to teleport in. He winced as he got up and remembered what was in his butt and began to pull the horse shoe out.
"Black Dynamite. Kinda cool, but she did not mess around with touching her car. Eh, Jack?" Alfreda turned around expecting to see Jack but was met only with a barred up window. He turned around a little worried. "Juan?"
He was meet with only the rest of the empty room as a revelation hit him. "OH GOD NO! I'M ALL ALONE AGAIN!!!"
Jack awoke and found himself in the dark. As he got up and tried walk around he was unable to realize that he couldn't even see his own claws, and he kept walking into walls. What he didn't know was he was walking into the same wall.
"I CAN'T SEE SHIT!" Jack than stubbed his foot on something metallic and jumped around in pain. He grabbed in and deployed his wings on reflex, discovering that he completely forgot he could do that. He flew up and got a clear view of what he hit. It was some weird kind of idol with a weird wing going around the middle. "I want to throw you into a ditch, but I could make a whole bunch of money selling this."
He looked around and saw he was surrounded by nothing but griffons resulting in two thoughts popping into his head.
'1.Score. 2. Find Juan and see if he wants to score.'
He flew down to the ground and found a scone with a little dust on it.
"Free scone!" Jack shouted than he picked it up and threw it in his mouth, immediately regretting it as he shattered several teeth and spat it out. "Dear god, it's like eating a rock!"
Jack than realized what he had said and looked around, finding more scones in the trash behind a griffon so he did the polite thing a poked her until she got annoyed but when she responded she clearly sounded like she was trying not to explode. "Yes?"
"How much for these scones that people can shatter their teeth on?"
"That's just trash, take it if you want."
"Thanks, cause all I have is this weird idol I found in a Abyss."
"A what?" The griffon said sounding like he was holding on to something very dear.
"Bored now." Jack than ran off with a makeshift crossbow grinning as without Alfreda to interfere, he could finally reveal his master plan.
Jack laughed like a maniac as he grabbed a scone with his tail and threw it at a window while his arms used the crossbow to shoot scones tied to arrows at other windows. He continued as he as ran through town until he reached for his sack of scones but found it empty.
"Oh all out. Bummer." Jack shrugged than threw the sack away, knocking out a royal guard behind him. He looked around and realized he was in Ponyville but looked closer.
"This is the Prime Equestria. I guess I do need Alfreda to figure out how the heck to get out of here." Jack looked around and saw a bunch of ponies gathered outside of the giant crystal castle, two wirewolves stood out from the crowd. One was blue, joints black and his eyes yellow. and the one next to him looked just like-
"Juan!" Jack shouted in happiness, running to the wirewolf who turned around and got hugged by him.
"For once, I'm actually glad you alive douchebag. But hug me again and I'm castrating you.
"And I missed you too Best Buddy."
"Wait right here. I'm gonna try to get Dumbass #2 out of the castle." Juan than walked up to the castle holding a boombox, and Rainbow Dash's voice began to play on it. Jack turned to the Wirewolf bored and confused. "So how did you get here?"
"Oh I was fighting with Church and something hit me and I woke up with Lopez next to me. And then we found this town full of ponies so now I don't wanna leave."
"Uhh no, that's Juan."
"Oh really, well that's my bad sometimes when I hang out with other people I tend to thing about my awesome friends more."
Jack's eyes widened at not only such sheer stupidity, but at who he was speaking to causing all sorts of fun things to pop up in his head. He was interrupted as he heard something getting sliced and saw Juan's boombox get cut in half by a disk.
"That reminds me of Let It Go. The one song I have an undying hatred for!" Alfreda shouted from within the castle.
Twilight looked to Jack hoping he had a solution. "Excuse me Mr..."
"Jack." Jack spit on his hand to slick back his nonexistent hair and extended that hand to Twilight with a cocky smile. "Jack Steel. "
"Right~, If you know him can you please try to get him out of my Castle?"
"Maybe." Jack than took out the idol and waved it around like he was trying to resynchronize his GPS. "I'll be honest I have no idea what this does, I just didn't wanna look like a liar."
Twilight was shocked at seeing the idol than her face turned serious. "Enough kidding around, hand over the Idol of Boreas."
"Oh this thing. You want this Idol?"
"I want it."
"You want this Idol?"
"I want it."
"You want this Idol?"
"I want it!"
"You want You want?"
"I WANT THAT IDOL!!" Twilight shouted charging at Jack who merely through it at the castle balcony. The sound of it hitting something was heard and Alfreda shouted. "That's it. Your ass is grass! DESTRUCTO DISK!"
A yellow disk flew out of the balcony and everyone ran out of the way of it except the Blue wirewolf who narrowed his eyes thinking of something. "Wait a minute..."
"Oh you seriously want some now buddy? This one's going between your eyes!" Alfreda threw another Destructo Disk but it completely missed the wirewolf. "C'MON THAT WAS A CLEAR SHOT!!"
"I know the voice!" The Wirewolf's ears perked up in happiness. "Alfreda! It's me! Your all-time best friend!"
"Caboose?*" Alfreda poked his head out surprised. "Is that you?"
"Yes it's me!" Alfreda than began to throw four Destructo Disks at him and missing, Caboose oblivious to this. "I had missed you! It has been so long? Did you miss me?"
"Oh come on! I missed him!"
"I knew you did!"
"GO AWAY!!"
"Thanks a lot Dumbass #3, now we're gonna have to do this the hard way." Juan said then pulled out tennis ball launcher and put a frag grenade inside only for Jack to grab it, tossing it accidentally puling the pin. "Hell no Juan, you don't use a grenade to get a friend out of somewhere. And do you remember the last time any of us used a Tennis ball launcher?"
Universe: Equis 101.13
Time: 11:00 PM
Status: Deceased
The firemares were gathered all over the House of Ponies putting out the fires as Marshmallow Cream and Peanut Butter oozed out of the building. Alfreda's body was shipped into the ambulance covered with a sheet before being driven off. The guests and employees alike stuck in the peanut butter and or marshmallow cream looked up to the roof, some looking more angry than others like Rainbow Dash and Rarity, at Jack and Juan, the latter of whom was just looking at below, and the former who had a blanket wrapped around him and was sipping a mug of cocoa with both hands. "Well...that escalated rather quickly. I mean that really got outta hand fast."
"Bit of an understatement."
"Bueno te sacó la imagen de Mahoma." Juan replied in Spanish in response to his own anger rising.
"Hey to justify, I clearly thought you meant the boxer. And you're the one who stole that notebook full of all their secrets and read it to everyone."
"Eso fue usted idiota!"(That was you Dumbass!)
They both began to sissy fight until Caboose broke them up. "Stop fighting! Don't you see? Losing Alfreda is breaking us apart."
"I'm going to begin shunning you until any words from your mouth begin to make sense. I say we send someone in to talk to him, Jack do not say 'take him to school' or I swear to whoever's the top god I'm gonna pop you, with a double barrel shotgun." Caboose walked towards the door of the castle.
"Yeah. Blue University."
"Wait a minute, you actually went to college?"
"Yeah after we left Blood Gulch the army said they'd send me anywhere I want as long as it 'wasn't their problem.' "
"What the hell could the dumbest being in the universe possibly major in?" Jack asked dumbfounded himself.
"According to the professor it was called Psytology. Or astronomy it was on the moon so it's all still kind of a blur."
"That explains so much and yet very little."
Caboose walked in and saw Alfreda on the throne, with one cannon arm aiming at Caboose. "Alfreda can you not be mean? I want to ask you something."
Alfreda put it away not in the mood. "What?"
"Did your Mommy ever hug you?"
"...No. My mom, The Mane-iac, never hugged me. All I remember that she did do was use me for her schemes. Hell one month she made me go a maze every morning. I never knew what was which was, it was like Cubed, only I was in it, just me. She never said anything about me. Like 'good job, or 'You Ok?, or-"
"Did she ever say 'I love you'?"
Alfreda stopped as he realized Caboose was right. He began to tear up as he fell to the ground. "Never, Which way was love mommy?" Alfreda than collapsed as he sobbed on the floor, letting out all the suppressed emotions he harbored for the Mane-iac and actually hugged Caboose. "She never said I love you! Why mommy? Why!?!?"
Alfreda continued sobbing into Caboose's shoulder while Jack and Juan watched, a puddle growing beneath the former two.
"Wow, so that's what about a couple years worth of suppressed emotional trauma looks like on the outside. Gotta say, kinda disappointed."
"Like a bitch." Jack nodded.
"Well technically accurate."
Alfreda stopped crying as he took a tissue and blew his nose.
"Are you done using the sink with your eyes?" Caboose asked.
"I think so. For now at least. My serotonin levels are just going crazy, but hey, why just sit here and cry about it when we can keep moving forward until we get home, and then I will confront her on the psychological damage I'm currently dealing with, it's mores the amnesia but I really don't care."
"As interesting as that may be, you'll never have the chance to do it." The four of them looked around to try and figure out when the voice came from and found it was coming was from the mirror. A face began to form on the mirror until it looked exactly like a horse skull wreathed in flames, with two regular eyes with slit pupils and red irises. "Remember me Alfreda?"
Alfreda would've collapsed in fear, but just how far he's come is how he kept his composure. "Yeah, guys, meet the fire hazard that went and blew me up, AKA Anti-Matter."
"Ducha."(Douche.) Juan said straight up knowing she wouldn't be able to understand him.
"I'm so glad you remember me Alfreda, cause I sure remember the trouble you caused me, forcing me to add a wildcard to my Syndicate, costing me a lot with your refusal of information divulgence, and slicing off my tail. Growing back a tail made of fire is not as easy as it looks."
"Tal vez él estaba tratando de darle un corte de pelo en forma de una ducha."(Maybe he was trying to give you a haircut fit for a douche.)
"I've actually been watching you for quite some time. You see I've been meaning to kill you and I think I've finally found the way to. But first I want to put you through one last test."
"You didn't put me through a test to begin with." Alfreda said completely confused.
"This mare is making zero sense."Jack whispered to Juan.
"Eso es porque ella es una locura."(That's because she's insane.) Juan replied, looking right at her.
"Sus elogios no te salvará."(Your compliments won't save you.) Anti-Matter retorted.
"Mierda ella es bilingüe. por favor no me mates!"(Holy shit she's bilingual. Please don't kill me!) Juan said now terrified hiding behind Jack.
"Ah, pero voy a disfrutar cada momento."(Oh but I'll enjoy every moment.) Anti-Matter responded before turning her attention back to Alfreda. "I know about all about your little history when the Mane-iac made her comeback, and what humiliation you still have with my late buddy Doomshy's counterpart."
"Oh yeah I remember her. She clubbed me with a chunk of concrete." Alfreda replied with an oddly reminiscing tone in his voice.
"Indeed." Anti-Matter replied with a tone of complete seriousness. "I've found a few world's with some versions of her on it. Your little portal gun should be able to get you there, especially since I hacked it to purposefully seek out those ones at random. If you survive and by some chance it gets you here, you get to face me to settle the score."
"You can kill her right?" Jack whispered to Alfreda.
"Ha. F*ck no, you'd think we'd have met if I could?" Alfreda whispered back.
"Fair point. What about Doomchick's counterpart." Alfreda glared at him. "Yeah right stupid question."
"What happens if we fail?"
"If you fail, I get to keep you as my plaything, to study the secrets of the Multiverse so I can conquer it, starting with your world." Anti-Matter said with grand flare as if she rehearsed that before something popped in her head and she sounded more disinterested.
"And I guess I kill one of your friends afterward I really don't give a buck... the Spanish one I guess." She added pointing right at Juan.
"QUE?!"(WHAT?!) Juan retorted in fear.
"We'll do it." Alfreda retorted not afraid anymore.
"WHAT?!?!" Juan yelled again even louder.
Anti-Matter grinned. "Excellent. Hope you're prepared. The first trial won't be the easiest."
"Ok. See ya when I kick your ass." Alfreda replied.
"It's a date."
"It... will be. Everyday is a date."
Anti-Matter's eye twitched before she chuckled. "I'm gonna miss you when you're dead."
"Yeah story of my life." Alfreda replied as her face vanished from the mirror. He turned to his three friends with a smile on his face. "That went better than I thought. Right Juan?"
Juan's right eye twitched before he spoke, his voice now carrying a monotone.
"Sabes que? Ustedes básicamente me dio una sentencia de muerte al acordar con ella. Haz lo que quieras, simplemente no me importa una mierda más."(You know what? You guys basically gave me a death sentence by agreeing to her. Do whatever you want, I just don't give a shit anymore.) Juan than walked outside, with a blank expression on his face, flipping the bird with both his hands to anyone that looked in his direction.
Alfreda turned to Jack and Caboose as confusion dawned on him. "So does anyone have an actual clue what the actual hell she was talking about with those trials? I was honestly zoning in an out of her little speech. After listening to Zinyak for about a week* I tend to drone out the speeches and motive rants."
"Just have to worry about worlds she put into the guns data. We could go to Canterlot to get Luna's help." Jack suggested.
"Why not Celes-"
"Luna's better."
"I am not taking the train there again . Are they coming into town for anything special?"
"I heard there's a wedding. Where's there wedding there are cakes, and cookies, and somewhere to put my hair pie." Caboose aid then taking out an apple pie with a toupee on it.
Alfreda gently grabbed it and put it on the window sill. He waited a good minute before lightly pushing it until it fell off and out the window.
"No Caboose, everything got sick last time." Alfreda than turned back to Jack. "So it's settled, we wait for the wedding."
"Did we really settle that?"
"Well Caboose isn't a full member and Juan walked out. I think he's kinda mad at me for using him to gamble." Alfreda replied before an arrow flew through the air into his shoulder. "Ow!"
Everyone was having a good time as they got ready, Juan however was walking to outside holding a barrel of Cider taking in 4 pints every minute, only stopping as he walked by the royal at the gift counter giving them a wave to which they smiled before talking to each other again.
"What do you mean you left it on the counter?!" Celestia asked her sister in a hushed tone
"I thought you were bringing it!" Luna retorted.
Celestia groaned as neither of them brought a gift. "Well, this is just wonderful!"
They briefly stopped arguing as Spike put his gift on the table.
"I handled the gift for Cadance and Shining Armor! You were supposed to do this one, remember ?" Luna stated remembering it was her sister's job this time.
"Well, we can't just come to this wedding empty-hoofed!" Jack walked in between them dropping off his wallet sized gift. "I know how ya two feel. Heck Juan and Caboose are still putting their's together." Caboose and Juan could be heard bickering outside.
"No Juan, That's Part V, we need part A."
"This is piece is Part A, you're the one with the instructions upside down." Juan replied quickly losing his patience.
"Well I knew that I fixed Sheila back in Blok Gulch, pass me the screwdriver."
"Este es un martillo maldito idiota."(This is a hammer you fucking idiot.)
"See? They have their differences, but for something like this they put'em aside."
"You realize that they both left, I don't think they even acknowledged you." Alfreda said taking his seat.
Jack shrugged then walked away and found the tag for Caboose and Juan's gift on the floor, Caboose added his and Alfreda's name's in crayon but it was their names nonetheless. Jack found a pen and added Celestia and Luna's names in then gave the card to Caboose before walking inside hearing Celestia bicker with Luna one last time.
"Next time, you can just bring your own gift, and I'll bring mine ."
"Fine." Luna responded.
Juan sat next to Jack as the Mayor began to speak, both of them literally sparing no bucks for any of it. "How ya doing Juan?"
"I've been drinking my ass off since you guys basically fucked me over. So you know, currently in the back of my mind trying to figure out what would be a friendlier alternative then drinking.
"Good for you." Jack replied before he turned his head in time to see Matilda and Cranky kiss, such a sight almost making him throw up in his mouth. He heard voices outside and saw the Mane Six out there. Jack opened the door letting the girls in as Matilda and Cranky said something to the Sisters than headed to the Carriage Caboose and Juan built. Celestia looked at Luna confused. "I thought you said you left it on the counter."
"She did. The one they were talking about was from us." Alfreda replied walking up.
"Than why did Matilda just thank us?"
"We added your names on the tag. It's the least I could do on having a gift since the guys were being busy helping me after that after an... incident with the printing press."
Caboose smiled as his audio book was finishing up. "Now that you know how to fill the ink, let's move on to moving parts. Part 3 of 22."
"Yay, one for each part."
"AAHHHHHHHHH CABOOSE HELP!"
"DEAR GOD IT'S GOT ALFREDA!"
*Crunch* "AAHHHH MY SKULL!"
Alfreda Owned Count: 32
"So we did what we could with what we had."
"Well you have our thanks Alfreda. If there's a request you have, just name it." Celestia replied.
"Oh~ we're going to abuse the shit outta that."
"Oh maliciously. " Jack added.
The town hall was empty as The Royals, Elements, El Cuatro Locos(The Four Crazies) as called by Juan, gathered around. Juan and Caboose watching from the balcony, and the equestrians in the outer circle of chalk while Jack and Alfreda stood in the inner circle.
Jack poured the jar full of red liquid mixed with some cider and a hint of chili flakes into the tiniest circle. "Lord of Terror, by speaking your title I summon you forth. Also just to be clear no one's concerned with my urine's current color just me. Okay then." Jack said, while a small hole grew in the floor before growing in size till it was half the size of the inner circle, a huge red demon rising from it.
"I am Diablo, the Prime Evil, you have summoned me, if you wish to have a wish grated, there will be a great cost. One soul per wish."
Alfreda and Juan blinked before looking at each other and nodding. "One sec."
They then used the portal gun and the portal disappeared from the room and they instantly came back through another hole with a skinny and terrified centaur.
"Here ya go." Alfreda replied threw Tirek in, the latter screaming as he fell into a lava pit and it exploded.
"Damn that's evil even by my standards."Diablo said surprised.
"No backsies."
"Very well-" Diablo began to do something when Juan poked him in the shoulder and pushed forward a barrel with a warning label on it. "Her too."
"Her? How do you know it's a her?"
"Okay can you take away their hearing for just a minute before I give you her."
Diablo snapped his fingers. "Go on."
Universe: Equis 2618.9
Alfreda waited with clenched claws as the ponies continued talking to Cozy Glow, who's true motives really pissed him off.
"Honesty? Loyalty? Generosity? Blah blah blah! I can make more friends without using any of them! If I can't do it here, I'll do it somewhere-" Cozy Glow's rant as she flew off was cut off unceremoniously as a bullet was shot into the side of her head, sending her brains spewed on the ground as her body fell to the ground with a thud.
Everyone was utterly shocked at the sight of the murder of a, while likely completely insane, filly out of nowhere, then Juan walked out carrying a Desert Eagle, and proceeded to fire 5 shots into the body immediately afterward. When he heard the empty click he put the gun in his chest hatch.
"Wh...why?" Twilight whispered at an utter loss for words. Juan didn't hear her and reached into his chest hatch, tossing up a shotgun he caught pumping with one arm before leveling it at Cozy Glow's corpse and fired a whole loaded round into the body until the shotgun too was empty.
"You're welcome by the way." Juan said with a happy tone as he put the shotgun away picking up the body.
"Juan?" Alfreda asked oddly polite.
"What?" Juan asked confused.
"THE F*CK?!" Alfreda screamed.
"You were letting her get away while she was droning on. I however, feel enough's enough with letting threats like her getting away, I was secretly hoping she was a Chrysalis in disguise."
"Wait!" Jack yelled. "Check her pulse."
"Her brains are on the grass!" Alfreda yelled.
"Damn it I wanted a piece of that action."
"She was a child!! "
"She was a bitch too. Now um momento por vavor." Juan asked deploying his wings and flying off.
Alfreda deployed his wings and looked back at the ponies. "I am so~ sorry about him, he really likes killing people that deserve it. Honestly I felt that way about her too but not like this ."
Alfreda then flew off after Juan, escaping the sight of everyone else as Juan touched down on top of a hill. Alfreda found him as he ripped out Cozy Glow's heart and began pushing her body into a barrel next to him.
"Ok where did you get the barrel?"
"Jack." Juan replied hammering the top on then kicking the barrel, sending it careening down the hill. "That kick should get it to Froggy Bottom Bog, they'll never find it."
"By 'they', do you mean the committee that's probably been formed for how overkill that was?"
"No, whoever tries to revive her to use her in a plan to A. kill Twilight, B. Take over Equestria not realizing how small that is with there being a whole world besides that nation itself, or C. revenge plot on me. " Juan explained dumping some gasoline on the heart he dropped on the ground, placing a couple rocks around it with some twigs.
"Okay, and the heart?"
"So even if they try to there's no heart to complete it." Juan scratched his claws together creating sparks that lit the heart aflame, making a small controlled fire out of it. "I'm just surprised you didn't throw up at the sight of a murder like that."
"Thanks, although that reminds me." Alfreda replied before running to some bushes and vomiting all over them.
"Have you ever considered that you'll be seeing me with what you've done?" Diablo asked stunned.
"I'm Cyberdemon Blood Brothers with two separate Doom Guys. What's your point?"
Diablo was silent as he simply grabbed the barrel and nudged it behind him into the hole. "You can have yours on the house."
Diablo then looked at the large mirror placed in the middle of the circle. "We just need Nexus Energy from Hell to properly pinpoint where we need to go since we're at Prime world."
Diablo nodded then tapped the chalk causing it to glow red before the glow subsided, he then snapped his fingers to which the ponies scratched their ears now hearing some of the screams of the damned again. "Your wish has been granted. Until the next summoning, farewell." Diablo than sunk back into the pit of fire he had created then the hole fixed itself until it looked like it was never there. The equines took their places in the outer circle, then Alfreda pulled his hood up along with Jack and they looked at the ponies, eyes glowing red for effect.
"Now, Element of Kindness."
Fluttershy was shaking in fear and stuttered as she raised up her hoof hesitantly. "M-m-m-me?"
"Take one step forward and into the inner circle."
"How about everyone else take one step back?"
The red glow in Alfreda's eyes vanished as he looked at Fluttershy. "No ya chicken! Last time they actually did that and we ended up on Thomas The Tank Engine. I still don't what he meant when he called me a wanker-oh~ now I get it."
Fluttershy shivered but took a step into the inner circle, the mini-circle she was in glowing. Alfreda took out a helmet strapped to another one and put it to his head, putting the other end on Fluttershy's head. He then took a cord connected to the helmet and connected that to the mirror. Images flashed across the mirror some showing Alfreda getting beat up by Saddle Rager from the comics, but then ones of him still getting beat up, but now bearing Fluttershy's colors, then him in some kind of war, then returning and his last moments a twisted mirror of the first, battling a deformed grey Saddle Rager alongside an Alicorn with a flaming skull for a head. Someone Twilight deep down, knew was her in a different life.
"That's Anti-Matter? She's actually kinda cool seeing the full body." Jack made note. "Almost a shame we gotta kill her."
"After returning Caboose back to his guardians." Juan replied.
"More like pot shot cans."
The mirror warped a little before Juan fired the portal gun at it, creating a gateway to some grassy fields. Alfreda looked at the others as the Cuatro Locos entered the portal. "I want to thank you guys for letting us pass through here. I'll keep in touch." Alfreda then went into the portal but then stopped.
"Almost forgot." Alfreda said before running outside into town until he spotted Cheerlie. He walked up to her calmly then tapped her on the shoulder. She turned around and Alfreda proceeded to punch her in the stomach. "Sorry, just know I only did that because I have pent aggression against another you for killing your students and getting away with the murders by Twilight getting framed for them by killing you. So take that."
Alfreda ran back in the other direction and slid through the portal before it vanished, and got up to see where they landed. Juan was examining the crops, while Jack looked back.
"So where are we?"
"Yeah~, turns out we just went the wrong way, it's calibrated like we wanted, but Juan accidentally had it set for a spot because he was feeling stressed and wanted to find a way to nonviolently take the edge off."
"How far?"
"South Park."
"Juan WT f*ck bro?!" Alfreda yelled.
"Hey I also got rid of Caboose setting it to his universe and kicking him through." Juan retorted taking big bungles of the crops by a farmhouse and pulling them in his chest hatch.
"Wait you figured out how to set coordinates?"
"Yeah no way, it looked enough like it so I thought f*ck it."
"Of course." Alfreda sighed before lights shone on them and the owner appeared with a shotgun.
"What're you doin to mah Tegridy?"
"Randy?" Alfreda asked surprised recognizing the voice on the spot, and able to spot him when his eyes adjusted.
"Cheese it!" Juan shouted running away with Jack carrying two bags of the crops with him as well.
"Alfreda? What're you doin back here?" Randy asked.
"Yeah, took a wrong turn is all, sorry about Juan he's trying to find non violent ways to relieve stress."
"Nah it's cool, making back more then what I spent anyway, all though he got the good shit."
"Oh he's gonna get stuck on the moon isn't he?" Alfreda asked with a chuckle.
"Like Tom Cruise."
Universe: Equis Nihilus 1115.28
Anti-Matter rubbed her forehead as the tracker showed Alfreda had jumped worlds in the wrong direction .
"I hate him, so much. "
"Well you gave him help to get to you, does that make him worse, or bump your IQ down a couple points?" Daybreaker quipped.
Anti-Matter blasted a beam in her direction, not hitting her and managing to turn her bed into a pile of gold coins. "I hate you more. "
Author's Note
Next Chapter:
* Knocked The Fuck Out
Well another remix, another step closer to the season Finale, which will be posted on here and on DevianART, for those looking for chapter 6 simply look on my page on the same sight, under the same name.
P.S the song Juan put up was I'll Fly from Tanks for Memories, which was similar to Let It Go in my opinion.
Immortal Wirewolf 2: The Adventures of Alfreda and El Quatros Locos
Location: Maretropolis
Universe: Equis 1221.13
Time: 8:00 PM
Status: Engulfed in Flames
A portal opened above a warehouse roof in the middle of the city, Alfreda, Jack, Juan, jumping through before it closed, the former falling to the ground to put out the flames on him, dusting himself off when they went out as he got up and looked back. "Yeah Rainbow is so lucky I was too busy being on fire to kick the ever-loving crap out of her."
"Because she was murdering everyone convinced they were zombies, or the fact she tried to sneak out of it like a coward by burning herself to death?" Jack asked.
"Well a little from column A, and a little from column B. The only two surviving witnesses from what I saw were the kids. But I'm positive they're too scared to be used on the bench, at least by the nation's standards."
"I'm hoping to whatever god made that world they weren't, I wanna go back just because I'm itching to see a pony hanged, or shot with magic, or however they do it there. Personally I got money on the chair." Juan added
"Who knows, they might give her just a slap on the hoof and send her to the hippogriff kingdom for 6 months of pounding the tuna." Juan and Jack looked at him with complete silence. "What? With what she did, Rainbow Dash needs to something to make up to the Princesses."
All was silent for a few seconds until Jack laughed pervertedly at Alfreda's comment, which stop suddenly when he looked in through the window. "Hey guys, check it out, something's happening?"
"And we should care why exactly?" Juan asked.
"Are we doing anything else?"
Juan was silent in response and joined Jack in watching with Alfreda. Alfreda felt fear seep from his pants at the familiar scene playing out below, memories he had associated with it beginning to resurface, in every painstaking detail; Saddle Rager was ranting to the Mane-iac about how mean she was for hurting an innocent firefly as her eyes began to glow red. She began to change as she continued to rant, Alfreda's jaw lowered in terror, seeing the too familiar hulking pony roar shaking the ground as he also shook even after the quake stopped. The four of them watched in shock as not only did she deflected off the cannons attack but jumped onto it and proceeded to tear it apart with her hooves and teeth, until noting her friends watching her and spat the shard out with an embarrassed look. Jack looked at Alfreda with a wide grin, the latter still shaking.
"Jesus H, Christ Alfreda did you see that? She just ended that cannon!"
"Yes Jack, I noticed."
"I mean if this chick's bad I hate to see what that Saddle Rager bitch you kept referencing can do."
"Yes Jack, I noticed." Alfreda responded again not ending Jack's ignorance that this was Saddle Rager.
"Hate to get on her bad side, cause she would have no trouble pounding our tuna-"
"YES JACK, I NOTICED! ON THE BRIGHT SIDE, I NO LONGER HAVE TO PEE ANYMORE!!"
The four of them heard a sizzling sound and saw some acid under them was eating away at the rock. Juan and Jack looked over at Alfreda who looked offended.
"Hey I wanted to drink something besides all that cider before we left but you guys said no~." Alfreda preemptively replied before the roof under them gave away and they crashed into below.
They collectively groaned as they slowly got themselves out of the rubble dusting themselves off. Alfreda had landed fact first and felt something in his mouth then swallowed it before he got up and looked around. He saw 5 familiar mares and one dragon in costumes. "Well, this is awkward. Hi."
"Wait a minute, are these the Power Ponies? They're a lot smaller then I thought they would be. The purple one only comes up to my sexy abs." Jack said smacking his stomach with a smile.
"You have neither abs, nor anything sexy." Juan replied. "Hold it aren't there seven of them?"
Alfreda did a head count and turned around, seeing Saddle Rager one foot away from him looking at him confused. Alfreda stood there with a terrified look as his eyes began to pour out with smoke. He then proceeded to scream his head off , then ran in the opposite direction pushing wherever was in his way out of it as he climbed onto the destroyed cannon grabbing the remains and started to building something. Jack looked utterly befuddled and looked back and his jaw dropped in surprise.
"Oh my god~ . Andre the Giant! Don't hurt us!" Jack ran to hide behind some crates. Behind him, the Mane Cannon rose out, revealing Alfreda had reworked it into a mobile cannon.
"Okay, I suggest we all run."
"What? Why?" Twilight asked.
"Because he turned a destroyed cannon into walking death!" Humdrum replied.
"And your friend set off Alfreda's PTSRBD*."
"DIE DIET HULK!" Alfreda yelled out before laughing maniacally, his eyes now green with red pupils.
"The southern drawl however is a new one." Juan replied as Alfreda fired the cannon, sending a now red beam of energy towards Saddle Rager. The most damage the beam did was burn the costume along her shoulder. She growled annoyed, her eyes glowing a deeper red. She jumped forth as the cannon cooled about to crush both it and Alfreda, but the cannon suddenly aimed up and blasted her right in her face, slamming her onto a part of the ceiling that wasn't destroyed. She landed back down and looked actually kind of angry, the shot burned her mask away, letting Juan notice her forehead started to glow like her eyes.
'No way, I literally crushed him with a radio tower...' Juan thought to himself
'Wait a minute.' Jack thought spotting it too. 'That's not Andre the Giant, not even he's that giant. Wait another minute. Got angry which led into the roiding out, eyes are glowing red, and Alfreda's terrified- I got it!'
"Hey Juan, it's Lou Ferrigno!" Jack shouted to Juan before looking back at Saddle Rager waving at her to try and get her attention. "Hello Mr. Ferrigno! I loved your work in All's Fair !"
'So... goddamn close, that goddamn idiot.' Juan thought as he snuck behind and tackled Alfreda off the machine.
"Howdy Juan! Wait I thought you were dead, guess Zapp's bad at this too." Alfreda then let out another maniacal laugh before Juan clocked him in the face knocking him out.
"And it's that kind of behavior that screams, 'My mother's a deranged supervillain'."
Jack spotted something in the cannon and peaked in, pulling out a large black orb that electricity was moving through. The cannon made sounds of powering down before its legs gave out.
"Hey Juan, I found a free Plasma Ball, Mane-iac used it to power her gun."
"No wonder it couldn't harm shit. Wait, are you sure it's a plasma ball?"
"Well it looks like one." Jack said holding it out to him.
Juan snatched it and examined it closer. 'The Electro Orb. Almost forgot about this giant rolling paperweight.'
"Yeah~ I'll just hold onto it since I'm apparently I'm the only one with no psychological problems to keep charge of anything with power." Juan said putting it in his chest hatch.
"Hey I'm perfectly stable." Jack replied. 'Mister Murders Kids.'
' One kid, and a deserving one at that.'
Juan then picked Alfreda up and proceeded to slap him repeatedly until he woke up.
Alfreda's eyes turned back on as he look around. "What, happened?"
"You seemed to have an episode and attempted to murder that one over there," Juan explained pointing to Saddle Rager, who tossed the new remains of the cannon away as she looked at Alfreda, her mood now crossed rather than angry. "Using a cannon you rebuilt to walk, to which I tackled you and punched you in the face to knock you out."
"Oh, well I'm sorry, I didn't mean to try and murder you, it was just...nostalgia." Alfreda said looking over at her.
"Of most of the times that she attacked you and you, and I quote, 'Got rekt.' " Jack quipped.
"Shut up Jack."
"Kay."
"Ok, ahora que estás bien podemos obtener la mierda fuera de aquí?"(Ok, now that you're good can we get the fuck outta here?) Juan asked losing patience little by little.
"Yeah, Mane-iac has some stuff in her office we can use." All four of them made their way to the office and found lots of machines, Juan cracked his knuckles and proceed to rip off the panels of most of them. Alfreda then reached in and pulled out multiple parts in them, assembled them into some type of gateway. The Power Ponies peaked through the door and saw what they were doing but were confused having no idea what they were doing. Alfreda saw something in the air and began to swat at it franticly. "AAH! Firefly!"
"Really dude, you're scared of fireflies?"
"No. Me and animals have a pretty bad history."
"Why did they steal your lunch money? Or better yet, did you have a girlfriend but a bear came along and she left you for him on the spot?"
"You don't know how other people use animals as labels do you?" Jack asked before looking at Alfreda as the direction solution came to him. "Then just smack it away."
"Yeah how about no? Last time someone I knew did... well we're actually at the aftermath of the very incident. It's a bad idea like when we were in that universe where Ponyville accidentally turned into wolves and we went to make sure they wouldn't get out, because of, as my memory serves me correctly, your dumbass abandoned me."
"It wasn't that bad."
The wolves were all gathered around the tree licking their lips as Alfreda hung from a high branch trying to shoo them away.
"Go Away! I'm an innocent Space Cat-I mean Duck up here. Meow! I mean Quack!" The wolves only got riled up by Alfreda's quack and he panicked kicking his feet as some tried jumping. "Quack! I said Quack! Quack dammit! Quack! Quack!"
"I'm sure it'll work out."
"You know what let me tell the truth, every time an animal in her general vicinity was injured for no good reason in general, Saddle Rager beat the every loving crap out of me. Every time I even see a counterpart of hers looking the slightest bit angry, all that pain and humiliation comes flooding back." Alfreda explained, outside the door Saddle Rager looked at her own hooves and began to feel more and more ashamed at the thought of hurting him like that.
"Like your pants on the roof?" Juan asked earning a laugh from someone outside and from Jack.
"Shut up Juan. No wait, shut up both of you ."
"No sir, you." Juan replied with finesse as he pulled out a small joint and lit it.
"And to be clear, we're naked."
"Wait we are?" Jack asked looking at himself. "Then where are our-"
"In the shell."
"Oh~, that fills in a lot of gaps I had in my anatomy."
"That's because you're a b*cking idiota."
Alfreda went back to building the machine and assembled in the last pieces, pulling a switch causing a portal to open. Alfreda began to walk to it before he fell to the ground clearly choking on something and the guys circled around him. Juan looked over him and not knowing CPR did the next best thing; he climbed up the wall and jumped onto Alfreda landing on his chest with an elbow, causing something to glow in his throat. Juan reach in for it and pulled out a ball of light that nearly sucked him in completely, until Alfreda came to and grabbed him by the legs.
"What the hell is this and why does it wanna eat Juan?" Alfreda asked, wrestling with the ball, swinging it around causing the the Power Ponies to be sucked in. "Let go of my buddy dammit!"
The portal seemed to comply and shot Juan back out, then disappeared. "Ok, that was weird, like weirder then when we usually travel."
"What was Hell like?"
"1st of all it wasn't Hell, 2nd: Shut up. Apparentally those weren't the actual Power Ponies, they were those 6 mares we met, that dumbass dragon of theirs must've had some kind of enchanted comic book and it sucked them all into here."
"Wait Spike's a witch!? I knew that little shit couldn't be trusted."
"Jack he probably got conned into buying it, that's how I almost got stuck in one of those at a S&M store."
"Burn the witch!"
"The only problem with that is he's a dragon, so fireproof, and it would be Warlock if he was."
"Not with that voice. By the way when are we really gonna see Saddle Rager, Alfreda? You were talking all that good shit a second ago, then you almost choked on what looked like essentially a ball of smoke."
Alfreda sighed but smirked. "Soon, hopefully, I think she's gonna like you."
The four of them jumped into the portal the machine made and the machine collapsed in on itself, leaving the warehouse empty, the silence only broken by the Mane-iac's snoring and the police sirens.
Universe: Equis Nihilus 1115.28
Sigil replayed the footage of Juan quickly defusing the situation, luckily Anti-Matter got mad enough to go for a flight, lucky for him as it allowed him 'free' access to her office, not so much for the oppressed populous below she was more then likely taking her fury out on, if not them then the prisoners in the dungeon. He looked to his left, and then to his right before using the microphone.
"Blot Council, Assemble." He spoke to which 6 blotlings, gathered around him; the Phantom Blot, Formerly the first Blot's Shadow, The Phantom Punk, Two blotlings with large upper frames but small legs, and a Blot's Shadow with a lean build with a pink Spatter beside him. "Okay, this really got on her nerves from what I saw, so we should have about half an hour till she cools down."
"Would you like Janice to read over the last meeting's minutes?" Blot's Shadow asked.
"No need, because this is of a more pressing matter now; Anti-Matter's questionable stability in the wake of how Alfreda Alfreda may not only pull this off, but the idea she could actually lose to him."
"As oppose to the fact I've repeatedly said she should focus more on Crescent Blade?" Phantom Blot brought up.
"If it makes you feel any better she hates him just as much, went by her bed, found a dummy of him burnt and torn up with some tears stains on it."
"I n'eed to get back ta dirty daughtering m'y aunts and uncles, just get to the point ya moppet." Phantom Punk replied.
"Whose down for a good old fashioned coup de grace?"
"By Volker Schlönder?" The Two large blotlings asked in unison.
"The Slobbers aren't on board." Phantom Blot said.
"No, as in kill Anti-Matter and take over her empire." Sigil clarified.
"Oh. Seconded." The Slobbers replied now in the loop.
"Oy, how ya propose we do that? We try and even give her easter bunny butcher's hook and that radio rental will turn us into brown bread faster than I'd be able to say we're Daffy Ducked. And I don't mean brown bread, that's cockney for dead."
"Really, you'll explain that but not Daffy Duck?"
"I naturally assumed it was cockney for f*ck. Although I do want to know what was up with that easter bunny comment." Phantom Blot replied.
"Back on the subject, we kill her when she leasts expects it, at the moment she shows enough weakness for us to strike."
"And if she doesn't?"
"We let her and Alfreda kill each other, it's a win-win."
"But how do we make sure he can do it?"
"I have an agent in another universe he seems to be moving on the path towards, he's gone quiet for quite a while now, but I think I just need to reach out to get his attention. Break."
The other ones nodded and slithered off while Sigil walked out holding a hand to his head, reaching out for someone across existence. From behind a pillar, Daybreaker looked out with a big terrifying smile as her hooves trotted in place.
"Oh this is too wonderful, that flamed headed joker to the left of me, those joker's to the right, and here I am, stuck in the middle with the best seat in the house to the apparent bane of her existence. Oh I never thought I'd be so antsy to see another three-way in my life, and all over who gets to be murdered first." Daybreaker sighed lustfully as she looked at footage of Juan slaughtering the caribou, the absolute level of gore he was unleashing made her bite her lip in admiration.
"Joke's on them though, I'm going to kill them all. My treat. " Daybreaker giggled to herself, which began to grow, turning into a crazy little chuckle, which evolved into an evil laugh that echoed across throughout the building, scaring the crap out of many blotlings as it came in time with the explosions of Anti-Matter's temper tantrum outside.
Author's Note
* Post Traumatic Saddle Rager Beating Disorder
It appears Sigil has his own plans to set into motion, but so does Daybreaker, who is the lesser of the three evils? Well obviously Sigil but the point is Alfreda's got more waited for him than he thought.(Hope Juan picks up on Alfreda's example a gets himself some mace too.)
FYI that was Pinkie who laughed at Juan’s joke
Next Chapter: On DeviantART
El Puta Patrol meets another crew of misfits, Alfreda talks about the philosophies, along with the truckload of mommy issues he's carrying with the one person who actually cares, Jack attempts to gain the attention of a fellow sociopath, not that he knows the definition go the word, and Juan learns the true meaning of the word Freelance Peacekeeping from a professional. Only way to know how, yes?
Immortal Wirewolf 2: The Adventures of Alfreda and El Quatros Locos
IW2 #9: Clarity of Thought
Location: ‘Universe 0’
Universe: 1410.19
Time: 12:09 PM
Status: About to have a huge tone shift.
The Warthog came out of the portal into a literal battlefield going on in a stadium of some sorts, with multiple versions of certain people, ramming right into a purple masked alien, sending him slamming into another white masked alien.
“20 Points!” Juan shouted aiming his shotgun and firing managing to hit someone.
Alfreda and Jack got out of the car and looked around fighting multiple people fighting using energy blasts and various techniques.
“Well we are awfully underprepared for this aren’t we?” Alfreda asked.
“Took the words right out of my mouth.” Jack replied.
“Alfreda?” Someone behind him asked and Alfreda turned to see a human looking guy on the ground looking very injured.
“Oh hey Goten. Someone kicked you ass?” Alfreda asked happily.
“Wait how do you know him?” Jack asked.
“Easy I…” Alfreda stoped as his head started to smoke as he really thought deep about the sudden familiarity, but found no answer to explain it. “Don’t know. I actually have no clue where the hell I know him, or Gohan, or Vegeta, or that guy they were fused as, Veg-Toe or whatever his name was.”
“Hey guys enough guess who something’s going on in the sky!” Juan shouted driving by.
Up in the air purple blasts of energy and black blasts of energy rained from the sky impacting the stadium, killing many in the stand as a few of the instigators were getting caught in the crossfire as well.
“Oh that’s not good.” Alfreda made note as he managed to make out a figure in the smoke using his vision. “Oh one of you guys finally snapped I was wondering when that would happen.”
‘Yeah, that’s not Goku.’ Juan said.
“Neither is the guy choking the shit outta Goten.” Jack made note before spotting someone in a tank top gunning past a big bald due with an M on his forehead saving the purple haired girl he had hostage, slicing the arm around her off, before rushing for the guy that was choking out Goten and striking him so hard literal chunks were destroyed leaving a head. “Holy shit that dude just got his arm ripped off and that other guys a head now!”
“Okay Bra wasn’t that old last time I was here I knew that much, but the violence was at least… 3 levels below that. ”
“Oh? What have we here?” A sophisticated voice asked. Alfreda looked up to see it looked like Goku, but he was in a grey weird guy compared to his classic attire, with a ring on his left ear and a silver ring on his right hand.
“Goku? Jesus you’ve taken a… left turn haven’t you? When did you realize you were gay?”
“Excuse you?”
“Not saying I don’t blame you after Chi-Chi was kind of a bitch but don’t you think the earrings a bit too much.”
“Okay no.” Not Goku then proceed to close the distance and smacked Alfreda to the side.
“Ow!”
“Get back…Black’s too much.” Goten groaned.
“I don’t which one of these universes you came from, but you’ll be disposed of as quickly as the rest of these-” Black didn’t finish as Juan ran him over driving right on through.
“How’s my bumper taste ya black asshole!?” Juan asked before a ki blast forced him to swerve out of the way looking up to see a green humanoid in a gi resembling Black’s descending down firing again. Juan swerved out of the way running over a solider that was facing down a massive alien with four arms who looked utterly surprised at Juan’s sudden intervention.
“Oh my bad, ah shit he’s caught in the wheel.” Juan groaned getting out to unjam him to which the solider looked up with a crazed smile.
“Change!” A ball of light flew out of his mouth, which Juan caught inches from his mouth.
“Oh a body surfer. Yeah screw that and screw you.” Juan clenched his fist as hard as he could and the ball exploded into nothing in his claws, causing a ghostly scream to ring out into the air nobody paused to care for. “Ok I don’t know if that was you or you were him so I’m just gonna leave you to figuring out the maneuvering of having another pair of arms.”
Before Juan could do anything else, a purple ki blast blasted into the warthog blowing it up.
“Oh for f*ck’s sake!” Juan shouted before he was sent crashing to the ground as Black held him up in the air. “Dam. Alfreda’s right. You look exactly like Goku if he came out of the closet.”
“And your name is very confusing, what was your thought process in choosing Goku Black as a name?” Alfreda asked.
“I have not seen any mortal that have developed machinery like this.” The green humanoid asked. “Where exactly do you come from?”
“Blow me.” Juan replied.
“E-Excuse you?”
“You heard me right I ain’t telling you shit, what’re you gonna do about it?”
“We’re…going to kill the other yellow one for your insolence.”
“Oh go right ahead join the club, members joining everyday.” Juan replied before Black gut punched him.
“Another word out of you and I will cut out your tongue.”
A red skin solider with long white hair covered in some burnt marks came at Alfreda from behind and slashed his left arm.
“Jeice! You red skinned asshole!” Alfreda yelled recognizing the alien.
‘Ok that context is evidently not racist compared to last time you said that.’ Juan said over their mental link.
“Met the bugger, no matter how many times the lot of us and Lord Freeza corked him he just kept getting back up, go on give it a burl, you’ll see.” Jeice said picking up Alfreda’s limp arm.
“We get it, you’re from Space Australia nobody cares.” Alfreda groaned getting up clutching his arm struggling to regenerate it. He then noticed the portal gun a couple feet from where his arm landed, to which he then saw Black pick it up curious.
“Put it down. I need that.” Alfreda tried commanding growing very pissed at how Black was examining the Portal gun before looking back at him.
“So this is how you got here. You’re from somewhere else entirely, leaving your trail of mortal sin wherever you go, and even defying death itself to insult the gods.”
“I don’t give a shit about your seminar on morality give me back my Portal Gun, I just want to go home and I’m not getting involved with your whole shit you got going on with gods and whatever, that’s my only way home.”
“To traverse worlds in a sin in itself. I will find you world when I’m done with you, and deliver onto that universe my divine justice as I will with this tournament.”
Black crushed the portal gun in his hands with a smug smile on his face.
Alfreda’s left eye seemed to shut off entirely his face was stuck in a permanent sneer of rage, his body shaking slightly.
“I’ve had my fun, end him.” Black said turning around.
Jeice dove in to strike, and was met with Alfreda’s arm gripped him before Jeice even had a chance to react, then started to slam his face into the stone ground before it smashed open like a pumpkin, Alfreda’s body beginning to glow a blood red, his eyes disappearing into his head.
His back spikes shifted to face parallel of each other, raising upward revealing a pair of some kind of pylons beneath them. His boots seemed to fold inward looking more uniform and robotic. His right arm seemed to get thinner, his claws becoming sharper, stilling dripping with blood from his recent kill. Alfreda’s left arm finally grew back in its blaster mode, but then in grew larger, becoming a large cannon with some kind of cable forming under the elbow connecting behind his back. His mouth finally opened, revealing his eyes having connected to form one, turning on to a blood red with a single piercing white slit that seemed to make Black’s blood run cold as its gaze fell unto him before focusing on Babidi’s apartment, his eyebrows now shifted to look like a pair of antenna on the sides of his head.
“Warning: Your coming death’s will be the greatest pain you’ve ever known, for what you’ve just done.”
Recoome and Burter charged at Alfreda together,, to which he fired a blast from his cannon arm, which completely engulfed them both, vaporizing the former completely while Burter was fast enough to move but was still caught in the blast, taking out half his torso. Burter was left on the floor writhing in his last moments of life, Alfreda walking towards the entrance of Babidi’s apartment, stomping Burter’s head in along the path without pausing.
“Oh.” Black said actually taken aback at Alfreda’s sudden speed with his drastic change in appearance.
“Okay am I alone when I ask for anyone to care to explain, THE F*CK?!” Piccolo shouted while everyone else looked stunned.
“I think…Alfreda just got so pissed off, he just shut everything…off. Like all of his emotions, feelings, anything that would make him hesitate, and is just acting on… pure unadulterated logic.” Juan made a guess.
“I feel more comfortable calling him that now.” Jack replied.
“So do I.”
“I’m still kind of confused!” Goten shouted out.
“We all are!” Juan replied.
Logic continued to walk on as some of the Main Warriors watching began to realize they need to stop him before he got to Babidi, when Cell landed between Logic and his goal, the hand of another Piccolo still on around his neck, holding Videl from U18 by the neck, beaten and broken looking near death, charging a ki with blast his his free hand.
“A hostage? There are multiple sets of Dragon Balls around here, her death just gets her a step closer to an ice cream sundae when she gets there, be my guest.”
Cell looked angered at him calling his bluff, but his instincts screaming to run arose when he began to walk again at the same pace, to which Cell directed the ki blast towards him followed by multiple others, throwing Videl at him as well as he charged. Logic reacted to the approaching blasts first, his cannon hitting them all with expert precision canceling them out, then brushed Videl out of the way to the ground as Cell extended his tail to stab him, but Logic caught it before he could react, pulling him closer, and stabbing Cell in the chest with his cannon, causing Cell to cough up blood as Logic aiming up inside him, Cell feeling the barrel inside him moving up aiming right at his head.
“Wait.” Cell begged before Logic vaporized his whole torso in one shot. When the smoke cleared and Cell’s legs fell to the ground, Logic’s cannon widened its nozzle and incinerated the rest.
Logic then walked over to Videl and gently picked up up with his right arm by the neck of her gi, a few miniature blue Cells dove in to which Logic fired multiple shots killing 4 while one managed to get close but found himself getting back kicked so hard, he exploded into multiple bloody chunks. Logic approached the Gohan in the torn tank top and extended his arm towards him dropping her.
“Your wife who was a cadaver at this point in time in 3,492,345,677 known universes. Consider this the one gift of kindness I deliver upon this battlefield.”
“Everyone get out of the way, we are getting that man a girlfriend!” Jack shouted.
Logic proceeded to turn back around continued walking towards the house, in his vision, the area of view narrowing more and more on where Babidi would be, then noticed a larger signature next to it but more solid, instantly recognizing it as Gohan, designating him from Universe 14. Gohan turned to look at him cautious.
“Does the name Alfreda mean anything to you?” Logic asked.
“No.”
“No matter, Babidi has Bardock under his control, he can see into the future, but I plan for multiple variables for multiple types of futures, putting us at a 68.3291% advantage, break down the dimensional barrier and I will handle the rest.”
Gohan nodded and raised his power breaking through into where Babidi and Bardock hid, Logic aiming his cannon forward and fired at them, missing Babidi completely due to his height, while Bardock next to him, was reduced to a pair of legs.
“Rest assured wizard, the hell I put your cronies through, is a mercy compared to your fate.”
Before Logic could step further, his sensors went off and he dodged a slash from some kind of energy blade going out the apartment door, turning to see it belonged to Bra, or rather the Bra that was Vegito’s daughter. She was in her Super Saiyan 2 form, but some of her veins across her body were more pronounced as a curved black M right on her forehead was staring back at Logic.
“See that’s what happens when you have asshole Vegeta for a fusion parter then have a kid.” Juan made note.
Logic turned to face her, his sensors labeling her a new primary threat and posed to fight, his nimble claws poised to strike. Bra charged swimming her blade arm to which Logic dodged. His sensors went off again to which he kicked her away grabbing Zamasu’s ki sword hand from behind and proceeded to knee him before throwing him away and firing at Babidi, vaporizing him.
Logic then went back in time to catch a double team from Zamasu and Bra and kicked Bra to the side while Zamasu got his head blasted off before Black charged in. Logic looked up and fired a massive beam from his mouth vaporizing the Saiyan.
“What the f*ck is he doing?” Juan asked watching Logic fighting nothing after blasting large beam from his mouth at the sky. Juan then noticed something where Babidi stood, and noticed the wizard still alive and appearing to cast some kind of spell in Logic’s direction. “Punk ass scrub, he’s hypnotizing Logic.”
“How bad is that?” Goten asked.
“Well since he doesn’t have an impurity to actually be mind controlled, hypnosis is the next best thing to manipulate the somebody with this much intelligence.”
Black looked at Logic from next to Babidi and smiled as he put it together. “Excellent work Babidi, for a minute there I was starting to look worried at the threat he would pose. End him, but don’t stop casting your tricks wizards. I want to know this is how he perishes, fighting an eternal battle he never won to begin with.”
Bra and Zamasu descended on Logic ready to strike, confident in how he was trapped within his own mind.
As Bra’s energy blade came close to his head however, Logic’s left arm rose to block it and aimed his barrel right down Bra’s face. Her instinct’s clicked and she forcibly dodged from the large blast that came out from it, while he countered Zamasu with an off guard jab in the face, before his right arm then found itself embedding its claws into Bra’s liver. She coughed out blood in shock, Logic’s ears twitching hearing the blood hit the ground and appeared behind her, chopping her in the back of the neck, knocking her out cold.
Zamasu, still in deep pain, was completely taken back by the utter speed and sudden reaction, as Babidi almost forgot he was casting the spell, also taken back.
“Do you really think my system’s complexity is still brutish enough that simple mind tricks will get a foot over me? My body is a living motion tracker, while it cannot really see you, I know you’re there with these underhand techniques.” Logic informed before dodging something that wasn’t there, another minion trying to attack from the back where he wasn’t looking, but the moment he let out a sound in confidence, Logic swiveled his cannon to face him and vaporized him without a second thought.
“Buu!” Babidi cried out, causing Logic to aim at the sound of the voice, Babidi finally showing himself on Logic’s view as the Majin rose around him ready to absorb the wirewolf. Logic’s fired at full blast as he spun around quickly incinerating most of him, incapacitating the ancient villain, then charging for Babidi, who was too terrified to keep up the spell giving Logic back the full advantage his sight had.
The Remaining Majin Army dove in to try and catch him off guard coming from everywhere, but while his cannon aimed behind him, his shoulder pylons glowed and blasted straight forward while his inner eye fired it’s own beam he aimed around him turning his head, killing most of them at the sight of them quite literally, taking no stop in his stride towards the wizard while his upper body counterattacked the enemies around him, until both Gohan’s charged through and held them off. Babidi attempted to put up a shield to protect himself as Logic lunged, but Logic began to strike it repeatedly with his small arm, quickly making cracks in it.
“Pappar-” Babidi didn’t finish casting his spell as Logic’s claws smashed through the shield and clung around his throat like a vice grip, pulling the air of of Babidi’s breath as Logic raised him off the ground, his sensors going off again to slap another henchmen, breaking his face as it was with his cannon arm.
“When you arrive at your destination in whatever Circle of Hell you’ve earned, inform any and all individuals who might be able to escape I will no longer tolerate anymore threat’s to Alfreda’s hope to get home again. Your death will be the most merciful compared to any future interlopers.”
Babidi tried to gag out a last command to his remaining Majin’s filled with utter terror, which Logic took at his last recorded words then brought his cannon arm back, and caved his face in before firing the cannon, disintegrating his entire body in one blast. Logic then turned his cannon down at Babidi’s ship and fired another blast, causing a massive blast of flame to spew out the entrance at the top. Logic walked away from the apartment ruins back onto the the ring, then noticed a small amount of dust on his cannon arm shoulder, taking a moment to brush it off.
——————————————————————————————————————————-
Anti-Matter’s jaw nearly fell off its hinges at the sight of Logic, all readings unable to gauge how high ‘Logic’s’ intelligence was, or how much power he was using as he quickly terminated any stragglers left of the villains, even when it seemed they were giving up. Sigil took out a microphone as he noticed Anti-Matter’s wings opening without provocation.
“Suddenly~ life has new meaning, to me~ There's beauty up above, and things we never take notice of You wake up suddenly you're in love~. ”
Anti-Matter didn’t even try to respond as she was still taking Logic in all his terrifying glory and genius.
————————————————————————————————————————
Logic watched Raspberry cry to claw away in terror as he had a foot on his head, and gave no indication of positive or negative feelings as he crushed his head and looked back to Goku Black, who looked on with a somewhat confident smirk, powered up with his hair on end and pink.
“Well If I was wearing a hat I’d tip it in gratitude for you for disposing of that wizard, something I originally planned to do, but if I knew destroying that blasphemous toy of yours would do this, I would’ve done it sooner. But that doesn’t change what that identifies you as; the final blockage in completion, to the Zero Mortal’s Pla-”
Black's speech was unceremoniously ended when Logic shoved his fist in the blasphemer's chest, causing him to shout in pain completely losing his train of thought.
"Careful Zamasu, your Saiyan body's ego is showing." Logic whispered into his ear before smacking him to the side with his cannon arm sending him sliding back before he caught himself.
"Y-You know... Y-you're not wrong." Black said struggling to get up before falling to a knee, completely taken back by the level of pain he was in. “Dear Lord and Zeno, nothing like a concussion, to help forget the pain in your ribs-"
Black coughed covering his mouth, and was startled seeing blood on it, something even Vegeta wasn't able to accomplish.
"Zamasu, you fail to understand why the Kai's actually care for mortals, and thus why your reasoning of your philosophy is meaningless and hypocritical. They are potential successors to them. They do show the capacity for destruction, but as it is said, before creation, there must be destruction. Mortals can also show love, compassion, understanding, the things that have allowed redemption in villains such as Piccolo, Vegeta, even Majin Buu himself. In fact, even an android, a cybernetically modified human, was given the chance to use the Super Dragon Balls, and he used them, to bring back all the other universes that were erased. But what you truly don't comprehend in this scenario is how angry you've made me. I hate interacting, it's in my nature. I wish to observe, and learn from an environment untainted by outside interference. The sensation of my claws bruising your thoracic cage, depleting my own power to ensure you suffer, I hate feeling emotions. The only thing I hate that overpowers that of intervening, and what always will now for the rest of eternity, is you, and all scum like you."
“Such a foolish mistake with the Super Dragon Balls, you simply prove why the Zero Mortal's Plan-" Zamasu was cut off as Logic cut off his right arm, making him scream in pain as it was a clean cut, something that should've been impossible, but his thoughts were interrupted by Logic slamming him into the ground hard.
“THE ALLOCUTION IS NOT OVER, YOU SCOURING FILTH OF AN EGO!!!" Logic roared dripping with contempt, making Juan step back afraid at how loud he got. Logic turned back to Goku Black who generated an aura in defense as Logic slowly walked up to him. "As I was saying Black. I hate you because it's scum like you that are the reason I can never be contempt with observing the multiverse through Alfreda's interactions in traveling, because someone always has to interject into the experiment providing a risk to Alfreda's only hopes of returning home, to try and crush his very will to live to prove some kind of point. The concept of such vile creatures existing makes my processors stop entirely, because my weakness is my lack of emotion, which leads to intervals of actions overpowered by personal motives. But I have to thank you for doing this, because you helped remind me of my motto. Clarity of thought, before the rashness of action."
Goku Black was shaking a little where he stood as Logic stared him down, his single unblinking eye making the former's blood run cold. "W-Well, you're welcome for that-“
Logic stabbed him in the chest and kicked him away where he landed next to Zamasu. "Because you remind me of how much I uncharacteristically enjoyed murdering every version of you I killed with my bare claws."
Zamasu helped Black up, looking at his own stub of an arm trying to regenerate as Black stared back at Logic in utter terror as the reality of the situation hit him.
“With you I will be finally satisfied, with the Zero Zamasu's Plan.“
"Oh f*ck this!" Black shouted flying up, looking like he was running with Zamasu before they stopped up in the air above Logic. Zamasu stood back as Black brought his hands back as black energy began to form in the palms. “Ka…me…”
"Why is every Saiyan a sore loser when they're gonna die?" Jack asked.
"Ha...Me..." The orb grew to the size of meteor.
"Speaking of die, we should split before we do!" Juan shouted.
“Fair point, got another portal gun?”
"We were doing this with every other mortal world we came across, but no I suggested we mix it up here, have fun attacking the tournament, but f*ck you! Suck my godly dick! HA~!!!” Black fired it forth, sending a massive beam forth towards Logic, whose cannon simply glowed with power alongside his arm, the energy arched between them as his fist clenched tightly, bending his arms ready to move them.
"Final...Ka...Me...Ha...Me..." He whispered as the energy building up, and then immediately brought them straight together. "HA~!"
A beam of pure purple energy that utterly dwarfed the size of Black's Kamehameha rocketed forth brighting the sky like it was day, engulfing the beam entirely, and causing Black to freeze in utter shock, forcing Zamasu to step in front to take the blunt. However as it impacted he could do nothing but scream at the sheer agony of the intense power as the beam continued off into space.
Everyone got out from behind the rubble and and off the ground from the force of the blast.
"Anyone see Alfreda? Or Logic, or whatever we call him, I don't know." Jack asked shrugging.
“That was close, I was worried we weren’t ..." Gohan began picking up Goten by the shoulder, only to look up in surprise, cueing him to lose his train of thought.
"Oh my Gami Kai." Goten said.
Goku Black's Gi Was ripped in multiple places, one of his eyes was closed, and his Earring was completely shattered. The Time Ring around his finger burned to which he pulled it off quickly to look at the damaged Zamasu sustained.
His body looked withered as though he was a grape left in the sun, his regrown arm withering by the second into dust as he struggled to form words falling to the ground with a hard thud. Logic walked up to him, but stopped by his feet, forcing the former Kai in training to go through the suffering of sitting up to stare at him.
"What...did..." He tried to say began vomiting up blood that evaporated into a cloud that moved around Logic.
"I told you the lecture wasn't over, when I removed your arm, I infected you with a nanobot virus of my own specialty. A single one, requiring not even a milligram of your flesh specifically to reproduce, and able to adapt quickly to how fast your immortality heals you, eating at the infinite storage of food your body is, and the more damage you receive, the faster they eat you, in a sense reducing it from infinite to quite finite.”
Zamasu feebly attempted to crawl back only for his remaining arm to break off, horrifying him as it disintegrated into dust that traveled over to Logic who got closer, the nanobots taking on the form of a purple ray gun with a scope. The rest of Zamasu's body started to decay faster, his hair withering away making him look like he could pass off as Old Kai's grandfather.
"I want you to die knowing this, while Goku Black will go to the afterlife, you will not. For making a wish for Immortality on the Super Dragon Balls, you forfeited your immortal soul, because what need is there for a soul for an immortal being; No heaven, but no hell, just a complete cessation of existence. Nothing will be able to bring you back, and you will die alone. Unmourned, and unloved.”
Zamasu's brain was being eaten faster by the minute, but whatever brain function he had left he put to one request. “Kll...mhhh."
“No. On a nanosecond of the thought, this will actually be the only time I don’t do it but will find pleasure in it nonetheless." Logic replied lowering the gun to record this Zamasu's last words , which resembled a mix between a gurgle and sand being poured as he crumbled into dust which like the gun, swirled into a cloud of nanobots that entered Logic through his neck as his eye glowed taking in the data to confirm the kill.
"He just absorbed the nanobots he murdered him with, how many balls did this guy keep from Alfreda?" Juan asked.
Goku Black went back into his base form as his body healed and he gained more power from the experience, staring cautiously at Logic.
'Ok Zamas, he showed you what train wrecks come from acting on emotion. You literally just died, so the protection allowed you to progress is gone along with his earring, and no one else is certainly gonna help you. So grab whatever dignity you might have left and get the heck off his dirt ball-'
"Are you finished watching yourself die? Because in the moments of contemplation I’ve had, I’m almost considering not killing you, not because you’ve lost or another less logical reason, but mostly out of sheer boredom."
Black slammed right into the ground in front of Logic, transforming right back into Super Saiyan Rose, but with more electrical streaks around him.
"What did you just say you heartless metal shit?!"
"I said I'm bored. You're boring me." Logic replied, his utter monotone making Black roaring in rage attempting to punch him, only for Logic to dodge and retaliate with stabbing him in the middle of his chest with his right arm, making him gag in pain as he stumbled back, Logic’s claw tips coated with blood.
"Primus and his twin moons, did anyone else feel that?" Jack asked holding his chest with a wince.
“No, f*ck him, no sympathy.” Juan replied.
Goku Black held the wound groaning, realizing that Logic didn't go as deep as he thought.
"Big mistake." He said using his other hand to create his blade. "I'm not gonna miss this time."
"How could you in the first place? You're already dead."
"What?" Before Black could do anything else, he clutched his chest in pain, the blade vanishing as he nearly collapsed to his knees, coughing up blood.
"Woah, hey Black, not looking so good are you asshole?" Juan asked.
“Chest hurts…can’t breathe. Arm…numb.” Black said aloud, clouded by the sudden and sheer pain, not realizing he was answering the wirewolf.
"So, Black's actually having a heart attack. Go figure.” Juan observed before Logic closed the distance and gripped Black by the gi collar. He then proceeded to beat the everliving shit out of him, switching between using his cannon arm, and moments of releasing Black form the grip to deliver more accurate, more painful punches onto the villain, then shifted into repeatedly kneeing him, then kicked him up into the air then elbowed him into the ground, knocking him straight out of his powered form. "Did he beat the Super Saiyan Rose outta him?"
“Super… Saiyan Rosé- ” Black tried to correct before Logic slammed his foot on his chest making him cry out in pain.
“A Grammer Nazi as well. No one is going to miss you either.” Logic replied before aiming his cannon arm right at Black's face. He waited a minute to leave Black writhing in agony from the heart attack before his cannon built with swirling purple energy, dispersing a massive wave of energy that vaporized his upper body to ashes, bringing the end of the Zero Mortal’s Plan with a wave of justice. His arm’s cannon shifted, resembling more like a focused nozzle. He than fired a blast at Black’s left knee then his crotch,
“Gratuitous. Worth it.” He said between shots, then grabbing the remains and tossing it to the Kais. “Tell Beerus to destroy the remains if he exists in your universe, leave no trace of him behind.”
“I’m not sure if it’s a bad time to point out Alfreda just stole that win.” Goten groaning trying to stand on his own. Before he knew it Logic was right behind him stiff as a board.
“This win stealer is the reason you and the rest of your carbon based life forms get to live with only the knowledge that this threat was taken care of by someone with actually fighting competence while the weaker fighters that were still alive such as yourself needed to recover. Be lucky he did not get the chance to fuse, otherwise his defeat would be more humiliating for you, as it would simply be much more amusing for me.” Logic then appeared between Jack and Juan, making the prince jump at how fast the living calculator was.
“Okay can we follow you back home?” Juan asked.
“Yes, and no.” Logic replied as his eye dimmed. His arm changed back from the cannon into a regular arm, his back pylons retracting and the spike on both of them realigning along his back. His eye split into two as it retracted into his mouth, which closed for the eyes to come out from the sockets, the eyebrows going back on top of them as Alfreda fell to the ground unconscious.
“Come on…” Juan whispered as he started to shake Alfreda trying to wake him and Jack looked back to the portal gun remains. “Why couldn’t you let ME KILL THAT PINK F*CK!?”
Jack reached for the crushed pieces of portal gun and did his best to get it to work, and managed to create a small but unstable portal on the ground.
Juan looked at the portal then at Jack.
“F*ck it.” He grabbed Alfreda and looked to everyone. “Sorry about all the shit, you guys look like you’ve got enough on your plates, we’re just gonna be leaving.”
He proceeded to jump through the portal, followed shortly by Jack.
—————————————————————————————————
Anti-Matter’s eyes widened. “After them!”
“We can’t. The portal gun’s Fubar, we don’t have a signal to latch onto to pinpoint their location, they’re going into uncharted waters to us.” Sigil informed getting no signals on the computer.
Anti-Matter growled as she stared at the blank monitors. “You can hide, but you cannot run.”
“Can’t they really do both if we can’t find them?” Sigil asked. Anti-Matter’s eyes narrowed in annoyance as she lifted him in her magic grip and sent him crashing through the window.
—————————————————————————————————
Location: Space
Universe: Primax 1005.19 Gamma
Time: 11:22
Status: Lost
A portal opened in space, creating a vacuum as Alfreda, Juan and Jack were sucked out from where they were into space, the portal closing behind them. Juan made sure his mouth was completely shut then deployed his wings to correct himself and looked over to see Alfreda’s unconscious body, while Jack didn’t look the least bit bothered. He tried to say something to Juan, but due to there being no sound he couldn’t hear anything.
‘Use your thoughts dumbass.’ Juan thought
‘You sure? You might not like what I’m thinking.’ Jack replied.
‘You’re doing it right now, if you try and tell me more than I wanna know and I’m going to hurt you.’
‘So what do we do about Alfreda? And the fact the Portal Gun’s last stop dropped out into the middle of nowhere, space.’ Jack asked before a large ship loomed over them. Before any of them could react, the ship moved closer opening a bay door to which they flew in and landed, the door closing behind them as the room depressurized. The two opened their mouths in relief as they could breathe regular air again.
“Finally, because I didn’t see one planet for miles.” Juan noted before the door opened, bringing them face to face with who was in charge.
In front of the group was a robot with a red and yellow color scheme, with blue eyes and a welcoming smile on his face. On his left was another one, towering over most of them, with large while pylons on his shoulders, a mix of red white and blue with a neutral look on his face. On the left of the middle one was a grey one with a helmet that looked like a bucket, with a more peaceful look on his face.
“Hello there, I’m Rodimus, Co Captain of the Lost Light. Welcome Aboard, by my sides are the second in commands, Ultra Magnus, and Megatron.”
“I’m Juan, the unconscious one on the floor is Alfreda, and this is Jack.” Juan replied gesturing to himself and his friends.
“Have you tried cruising for chicks in this thing?” Jack asked.
“Don’t you start with that.”
“Rodimus, is there nothing odd about the fact these Wirewolves are at our sizes?” Ultra Magnus said behind Rodimus.
“You guys aren’t from around these parts are you?” Rodimus asked.
“Actually we’re from a completely different universe. Just passing on through, popped into the vacuum of space. My friend here went into a murderous rampage then lost consciousness. Can’t die.” Juan explained nonchalantly.
“Magnus keep note to keep Brainstorm away from him, out of fear of what would transpire trying to learn his secrets.” Megatron said.
“Trust me I know just about as much as you or he does.”
“I don’t know anything about why that’s so about you.” Ultra Magnus replied.
“Jesus do you not what a joke is?”
“Don’t even get him started.” Rodimus replied.
“Oh no I can tell, my mom used to have a guy like that in our gang. Wanna know what happened to him?”
“Your mom kicked him out?” Rodimus guessed.
“Like a sane being would? I wish. She hit him with a bus.” The three cybertronians looked shocked at Juan’s casualness of recalling the event. “Oh don’t worry he lived, moved out to… Appelousa if I remember correctly.”
“If only we had a shrink aboard, he’d had a field day with you.” Rodmius made note.
“Oh you don’t wanna do that.”
“C’mon what’s the harm letting out your emotions?”
“Alfreda told me last time he did, the guy was mumbling to himself about if life was worth living. He said this as he opened the window and proceeded to throw himself out. He was not welcomed at the funeral.”
“We have a room full of stuff, maybe something in there might help wake him up.”
“Oh challenge accepted, please show me the way. And I know this sounds weird, but are you guys stopping anywhere in particular right now? I’m actually running a little low on ammo.” Juan asked.
From behind them, a weird looking robot with a cyclops eye poked his head in to speak. “We’re actually about to pass by Elpasos, you’ve been there right Rodimus?”
“Actually yeah, I might know a guy that could help you out.“
“Wait, what about me? I want an adventure with the cyclops guy.” The cybertronians escorted Alfreda and Juan, leaving Jack behind. “I’m serious! I demand you give me attention!”
——————————————————————————————————
Alfreda’s body lied in the room unconscious, when all of a sudden, a spark came out of his head sending some sparks to the open circuitry and a projector sprung to life, and created a hard light construct of Alfreda who was surprised by his surroundings. He poked around the room interested, wondering who the room could belong to, when he spotted a set of glasses on the floor. He reached down for them to look closer and it gave off a spark almost making him drop them.
Another light shown from the projector, and took on the construct form of a small skinny transformer, with an identical pair of glasses on his head, looking around then at himself quite confused before he looked over at Alfreda.
“Hello there, My name is Rung, I’m not sure what I’m doing here but you look like you came in for a reason, would you like to talk?”
Alfreda looked around for a spot to sit and chose a seat, pushing his body aside.
“So is this your first session? I’ll be happy to remind you whatever you tell me here will never leave this room, I take the patient confidentially very seriously.” Rung asked as he had his pad ready to write.
Alfreda let out a deep sigh, his right ear on his body letting out some sparks. “Honestly I have no recollection of my childhood, but the shrinks? Oh Rung, Rung my soon to be horrified ghost friend, I have had a total of 17. About 9 of them committed suicide, 5 straight up left the room, and the rest were submitted to mental institutions, I’m beginning to realize I may have some enemies waiting for revenge back home.”
“Like who?”
“Oh I don’t know; the fractured families of the 12 who didn’t leave the room, possibly Moon Knight, my world’s equivalent of Batman, The superheroes that live in my world that I’ve pissed off, more specifically Saddle Rager.” Alfreda went on, shuddering at the last name mentioned.
“Tell me more about her. You seem to get antsy speaking about her.”
“Well let me clarify. Imagine if Grimlock had a child with Impactor in terms of anger, then give them the ability to transforming into a hulking monster that grows stronger the angrier she gets. Oh, and she’s an organic.”
“Ok…” Rung asked kind of getting it.
“Just imagine I’m at human size, she’d be half the size not angry, and transforming she’d be about the size of Ultra Magnus.”
Rung took off his glasses and cleaned them before putting them back on. “Would you like to discuss her for a little while?”
“Fine. Most times I’ve faced her, I’ve been beaten within an inch of my life. Would you like to see my scars?” Alfreda turned his body onto his stomach to show his back, bearing a couple scars down it. “This was my first meeting, she ripped out my spine with her teeth, did I forget to mention she’s a quadruped?”
——————————————————————————————————
Juan looked around in the bar, filled with all types of different creatures, then he turned his attention to the bartender who looked like a classic skinny silver robot straight out of the 80’s.
“Hey Helper, I was told there would be someone who could help me out with weaponry, know anyone that could be of assistance?”
The barkeep pointed to the other end of the bar to which Juan looked and saw who he was looking for, matching Rodimus’ description.
He was obviously mechanical with his exterior, bearing a red cape with a couple weapons on his back. His torso was yellow, with a big green vest looking armor covering that, with brown gloves on his left hand, currently wrapped around the cup holding his drink. His head was weird, bearing two red horns on his head, and two silver tusks in front of his mouth, which looked stuck in place, his mouth resembling a whale’s baleen hair teeth, stuck in a permanent frown. His head turned to face Juan, his two piercing red eyes meeting Juan’s.
“See something you like, eh?” He asked, his voice sounding like a modulated Russian accent.
“That depends. Death’s Head I presume?”
“You presume correctly.”
“I need some upgrades to my arsenal. Think you could help me…” Juan finally noticed his other hand was a mace and looked in admiration. “You have a mace for a hand?”
“Detachable. Quite convenient for line of work, yes?” Death’s Head replied detaching it to attach a hand identical to his other one.
“What line of work exactly? You don’t look like the kind of guy that likes the word Bounty Hunting.”
“You would be right, eh? I prefer the term, Freelance Peacekeeping Agent, looks better on a résumé, try it out for yourself?”
“To a degree, I did murder a kid, probably like 10, but the bitch had it comin. She was trying to overthrow the monarchy, pen pals with a centaur in hell, they were letting her get away. I took the shot as she was flying. Right through the side of her head. Shot her a good 11 more times to be sure. Sure everyone present was horrified but it kept the peace am I right?”
“As long as you were paid.”
Juan seemed to space out for a second before it clicked in his head. “Wait you still get paid to kill people?”
—————————————————————————————————————
Jack peeked out the corner to look at Whirl, who finished drinking in Swerve’s Bar and was walking out, Jack followed behind him.
“Hey there Whirly, can I call ya Whirly? I was wondering if you and me could buddy up, one sociopath to another.”
“Do you even know what that word means?” Swerve asked right behind him.
“Ah~! Who’re you?”
“I’m Swerve. You know, the guy that owns the bar you were just in.”
“Really, your voice really makes you come off as more of a Charlie to me than a Swerve.”
“What’re you doing?”
“That guy has no face, I have an automatic interest in things that look weird like him. Could you help me get him to notice me?”
“Ok.”
“Really? Usually when I ask people to help me they usually either ignore me, say they want nothing to do with me, or verbally threaten me with physical violence. Sometimes it’s a weird mix.”
“Nah man I’ve always wanted to hang with a wirewolf. You guys are so cool, you’re like us but you don’t transform.”
“Doesn’t that statement kinda defeat the-”
“And your war was over sooner than ours. ”
“…There was a war ?”
——————————————————————————————————————
“And that’s when it dawned on me that mom set off that chain of events because she didn’t want me to pursue my dream as a matador!” Alfreda shouted pacing as more revelations began to dawn on him.
“Alfreda, please relax, you’ll create a groove in the floor eventually.”
“You know I know you’re right and should stop, but I also don’t wanna listen to you because the only people I’ve cared about that tell me what to do have all been girls.”
“Was your male parental figure ever around? Maybe should have lead with that one at the start.” Rung mumbled the second half to himself.
“Yeah, if you count a set of power tools and a computer from around like, the 1990’s as a dad. My mom built me from scratch. Well scratch and pieces of wirewolf cadavers, but the point being I never had a father figure to help me. The only guys in my life were the few guys superheroes that beat me up, and my own coworkers, but they were about as much pricks as I hear Prowl is, and they weren’t officers of the law.”
“So what I’m understanding is that you mainly had a female influence in your upbringing, thus a seeded mistrust for any males that showed signs of Aggression?”
“What? No, I actually made friends with this guy named Crescent Blade, angry as Impactor but we became friends during a war, we’re bonded like brothers. Well there was this dude, Flash something, he was kind of a tool, pretty sure he blew up through. No what I’m realizing is that I don’t like guys that think they’re better than me and act all pompous about it. Barely a quarter of the guys on this ship I already know that’s true, especially this Getaway guy I heard about, he sounded like such a douche . Like just, the worst.”
“Yes I myself recall the consequences of his actions…”
“Looking through the ships records, I can see exactly, everyone hates him, I hope he’s burning in whatever’s the Transformers equivalent of Hell. By the way you have no idea how much I just want to talk right now and I’m so happy you’re the first one that wants to listen who didn’t kill himself some time after.”
“I worked with Fortress Maximus after he had been severely tortured by Overlord. Brain Modules was hurt badly, not quite sure what he transforms into anymore myself.”
“Oh hey that reminds me, what do you transform into? Come on I really want to see it your species is awesome.”
Rung sighed as he got up with a warm smile. His body converted until it resembled some kind of large telescope… staff thing.
“I have no idea what that is.”
“I’m classified as a ‘Ornament’.” Rung replied changing back. “For the longest time I believed myself to be the 1,000,000 Transformer naturally forged.”
“Cool. You got that in a serial number? Wait believed? So it’s backwards. Like 0000001?”
“Yes, believe it or not, I actually turned out to be Primus.”
“Who’s he?”
“Basically God.”
Alfreda thought about it long before laughing. “You as God. Sounds like you had one of Juan’s edibles. Ridiculous.”
Alfreda leaned out the window and spotted Swerve about to round a corner.
“Hey Swerve.” Alfreda asked earning his attention. “I got a joke for ya; the guy that owned this room was Primus, his serial number was upside down.”
Swerve thought about it for a minute and laughed. “That’s hilarious, I would never think of a joke like that, you do stand up comedy?”
“That’s an issue I’m keeping hidden behind this dark door.” Alfreda closed the door and turned around. “I’m nervous facing crowds, feels like too much pressure.”
“Not that I advise it but that sounds like an honest answer you can tell others.”
“And speaking of not advise, let me tell you the words of advice my mother told me when I went in disguise to elementary school: ‘Alfreda, you have no fully developed skills either social or helpful and are only good as a meatshield, if a strange man offers you a ride in the van for goodies it’s a 50/50 he’s legit so you gotta risk it.’ Lousy 80’s childhood…”
‘If I was God why would I punish myself like this?’ Rung thought to himself.
———————————————————————————————————————-
Universe: Equis 618.18
Tirek metallic form stumbled in pain as Juan pimp slapped him across the face with his mace hand, using his shotgun in his other hand to blast him in the chest, tearing apart more of his armor.
“No… No Mo -” Tirek begged before his throat was shredded by Juan’s drill fist, making his last words a wimpy gurgle as Juan had a disturbing smile on his face. Juan’s drill stopped before he kicked the body off of it.
“Oh I’m sorry you said something?” Juan asked firing his shotgun into his chest one more time before his drill hand converted back into hand mode to unload the shotgun. “You didn’t finish.”
He opened his chest hatch to switch it out for his portal gun, firing to his side leading to Death’s Head popping out. “How was killing Unicron?”
“Had history with him, right? So let’s just say it was very cathartic, yes?”
“Same, just displacing this guy who got us stuck here to begin with. Really diggingthis Swiss army hand, making the job so much easier, thanks for taking me here, didn’t know you could cross travel like this but I really don’t care. You’ll spread the word, right?”
“Of course, eh? Do you always finish with a question?”
“No.” Juan said looking a little confused at the question.
————————————————————————————————————————
Whirl walked towards his room and closed the door behind him. Jack snuck out and placed a medium sized metal cube wrapped in some kind of cloth in front of it.
Jack snickered as he hid behind the corner holding his own cube while Swerve held another.
“So what exactly is that supposed to be?"
“A Jack in the Box. But instead of a Jack, there’s a glove in it. When he gets hit, you walk up to him and tell him I got one for you too but you decided to give it to him. That one will have a bomb, so he’ll retaliate by getting me with that trick, and in the mutual amusement of the prank we’ll become friends.”
“That plan sounds like it could backfire so badly.”
“Shh, here he comes.” Jack said as Whirl picked up the box, he found the crank on the side and began to turn it slowly before a miniature Jack in a jester costume popped out. Whirl yelped dropping it before blasting it to pieces.
“Was it a delayed timer?” Swerve asked.
“No. That was the regular one. Wait a minute, which one do I have then?” Jack asked realizing he was already turning the crank. He promptly ran around the corner, not realizing he was still holding it, where a boom was heard around the corner.
Swerve looked at his and slowly put it down and backed away facing it, deciding the payoff was ok where it had stopped.
————————————————————————————————————————
Juan walked through the doors back into the ship when Swerve walked by.
“Oh hey your friend Alfreda’s up apparently, saw him poke out his head out of that old room.”
Juan ran for the room as fast as he could and entered the room looking left and right, only finding Alfreda still unconscious on the couch, and walked out of the room disappointed, not noticing the projector above him deactivating.
Before Juan could turn the corner, the ship rumbled as something impacted it. He looked out a nearby window and found a skull shaped ship roughly on par with the Lost Light in terms of size biting into it keeping it from escaping. He ran for the bridge, and found it filling with several copies of the same Decepticon he had heard of named Blot, bearing green eyes rather than red, some were completely dark blue, and all of them were in their alternate mode. In the center of the room as the only Blot with red eyes, and a Decepticon that was green, white, and black resembling a samurai with silver wings.
“Oh joy. So I’m gonna guess you two are working for Anti-Matter? Can’t really be a blotling with these resources without working for Anti-Matter.”
“None of your concern who we work for, such information doesn’t mean anything to a dead wolf.” The large Deception replied.
“Don’t be rude Hexatron.” Blot said. “We’re here for Alfreda alone, any of your friends you made on board, are fair game however.”
“You know I have a lot of shit on my plate so fuck it, I’ll kick both your asses.” Juan replied, his hand retracted for a saw hand as he twirled his shotgun.
Hexatron and Blot ran for Juan who charged forth firing a shot right into Blot’s face then kicking him over the railing. Hexatron swung his twin swords, only for Juan to deflected them using his saw hand and firing another shot at Hexatron, who blocked the shot with his arm, scratching it deeply. Juan opened his chest hatch to pull something out revealing it to be a dual bladed energy sword. The rest of the Blot hordes around him ran in to join their leader to which Juan began swinging both his arms around slicing at many of them as Hexatron jumped back in.
As Juan and Hexatron battled across the bridge, the hull outside seemed to warp as something began to open up in space, a hole in the fabric of the universe, sucking both ships in. On the other side, The Lost Light found itself looking at Earth, very close to the surface allowing some of the crew near the windows to see a battle going on below. Juan looked closer and found the battle much like their own, against a legion of Blot’s.
“Well, this is bad.” Juan said before Hexatron kicked him out the window before being tackled to the side by Rodimus.
Juan deployed his wings and flew up and around finding many fighters being covered in piles of sludge that seemed to be made of Blot’s themselves, the sky above having both a black spot and a sun. Juan felt down finding a small yellow autobot and a female autobot with a samurai sword fighting against the armies.
“Hey this is a new one!” The yellow one shouted pointing at Juan.
“Hey I got the same problem, I came from the Lost Light.”
“The Lost Light?” The Female asked. “But it was dismantled.”
“Okay don’t ask me I’m as lost as you are. No out intended.”
“BLOT HORDES, ATTACK~!” A voice screeched above to which they looked and saw an F-15 soaring down then transforming into a Decepticon with red and blue features.
“Starscream?” The yellow Autobot asked. “What the heck are you doing? We’re your friends!”
“Perish for such slander Autobot!” Starscream shouted firing a blast at the autobot, causing him to seize up from shocks paralyzing his body.
“Bumblebee!”
“Okay this is worse .” Juan made note as he pulled out his shotgun to reload it but an explosion caught his attention, and he saw a horde of Blot’s part a way through the flames allowing a figure to step through.
He looked just like Megatron, but his armor and very form looked more bare bone and simplistic, with a purple Decepticon emblem blazing on his chest.
“Megatron!” The female shouted in shock.
“This Earth was even easier to conquer than I would imagine Starscream.” This Megatron said firing a blast towards the female and Juan, his voice more modulated, but far more sinister in tone as he chuckled at the way Juan and the cybertronian were sent tumbling by his attack.
“Much easier than finding that traitor Shockwave.” Starscream snarked.
“Rest assured, the Blots have found where he is being held. Believe me when I say I will send him into oblivion for dwindling the Decepticons into these weal mockeries of our might.”
“I told you he could not be trusted, and yet you still gave him full charge of Cybertron.”
“Our Shockwave was loyal, and thought nothing close to what this world’s Shockwave unleashed, an err I will rectify now. Continue your assault across the city, deliver judgement to all defectors of the Decepticons, leave no mercy for these failures to the cause.”
“As you command Lord Megatron.” Starscream replied transforming and flying off, quickly raining fire down in his wake.
“I guess this one was a talker.” Juan said trying to follow Megatron as something landed behind him. He looked to see Hexatron standing there as the Lost Light still flew around in the sky.
“We ain’t finished.” Hexatron chuckled.
Juan groaned as his Swiss Army Claw converted into its harpoon mode and fired. Hexatron blocked it, but the harpoon ended up embedding in his arm, as Juan retracted the rope pulling him forward. He climbed around the arm, retracting his to deploy his mace head to beat Hexatron across the head. Hexatron managed to through him off then pulled out his guns firing down on Juan, who rolled out of the way that launched his mace forward, knocking the blaster in his left hand out, and denting into his chest. Juan pulled back, sending Hexatron face first into the ground before Juan climbed onto him and deployed his chainsaw hand. Hexatron rose up and found a wall to slam his back against, trying to get Juan off of him.
“Yeah we’re finished freshman.” Juan quipped as he took a gun out and fired it at Hexatron’s body, shrinking it to which he put it in his chest hatch. He looked off in the direction Megatron was and followed the trail of destruction he left towards the crashed ship in the distance.
————————————————————————————
“You fail to understand just how angry how to wove the history of our race into one massive lie, to paint yourself as the hero of us all.” Megatron ranted as he approached the limbless and restrained Shockwave, a trail of smoke and bodies behind the former.
“Everything I did was to better the Cybertronian race. The way they stand together against threats from beyond the multiverse, while I am still imprisoned, I achieved my end goals.” Shockwave replied.
“At the cost of the credibility and ruthlessness of the Decepticons, and the birth of the bane of my sanity as Galvatron, and deriving me of a Prime to crush with my bare hands. But considering the lie you persisted.” Megatron aimed his cannon toward Shockwave’s chest. ”I can make an exception for today.”
As Megatron prepared to fire, he was blasted in the back throwing off his focus, he looked behind him and saw a white and black Autobot resembling a police car standing in the doorway with a blaster ready. He looked him over and laughed as he turned around.
“I remember you Prowl, I killed you once before on my world, this time will be no different.” Megatron boasted firing his cannon hitting Prowl in his side, making his mouth smoke as he tried his best to keep consciousness as the fell to the ground. Megatron turned around with a smirk. “Now where was I?”
A flail smacked him across the face as he fell, Juan landing between him and Shockwave retracting the flail. “Yeah I got stranded in this hellhole because of some other shit and I don’t need you making my new quest to fix this junk and fix my friend because that Bitch Anti-Matter made a guess and found us.”
Megatron cackled as he stood up. “A poor decision, Mufungo, for you battle a true warrior of cybertron.” Megatron boasted before his hand turned into an energy flail.
“Yeah yeah ‘Mightiest Warrior of my race’ I really do not care.” Juan replied running and engaging up close with Megatron, the Nth metal of the mace clashing with the energon flail creating sparks between them as the two powerful substances made contact. Juan was forcing to keep his distance as he was forced to avoid not just the flail, but the chaining connecting it as well. Megatron swung it forward aiming for Juan’s face, Juan dodging then wrapping the flail around his mace, allowing him to pull Megatron close enough to deck him across his face, sending a tooth flying from his mouth. Megatron staggered a little, from the hit discharging his mace to get away from Juan as felt his face and brought his hand back to see a small speck of a glowing purple liquid on it, earning a smile from him.
“All that for a drop of energon.”
“In that case I’ll beat it out of you one drop at a time.”
“I have far too much on my plate if this is all you can provide.” Megatron replied aiming his fusion cannon, blasting Juan across the room. “Blot Hordes! Merge and let the slaughter…begin.”
Outside, many of the blots started to run towards the crater where the Original Blot stood, surrounding him and most of them melting into him, becoming larger by the moment.
Before Megatron could act against Shockwave, a red car ran into him, crashing him through the wall out into the streets.
“Rodmius sure took his sweet time.” Juan pulled himself up to see and then turned to the disabled cyclops. “Ok Shockwave, what the hell did you do to the Blotlings?”
“It was an old experiment I was tinkering with during the war. I found the canister of Blot Matter experimented with the Blotlings that formed from it. The way their biology deprives the need to sustain themselves for short periods and adaptability in the harshest of environments, I soon sought a way to merge Cybertronians with the Blotlings, starting with Blot. As the leader of the ones that formed, designating himself as the Phantom Blot, he would bridge the gap allowing his army to be converted proper. But while rewiring his shell to integrate his abilities, an error occurred allowing him to escape captivity and joined the Terrorcons with no recollection of me. I pursued but when I located him, he was already deep in their folds and even later, killed by Arcee during her and Prowl’s attack back on Cybertron. Earlier today they claimed that I was up to something as Blot was spotted on multiple continents across the planet and information began to reveal my involvement with him, then these hordes came from holes in the fabric of space-time taking Earth by surprise.”
“Hear me Shockwave!” A voice roared out. Juan looked out the whole and saw a massive cybernetic Phantom Blot towering over the area. “Your violation of my very being will not go unpunished, this world will drown in my being with you, all it’s knowledge, shall be made part of me! A new Planet Blot will be born from this world, and it will go out to spread us across the stars to come, The blot Race shall rise again! And Anti-Matter will tremble at the mere sight of… The Phantom Bot!”
“Oh nice he’s gotten his head around the evil monologue. So do you have any idea how to stop him.”
“Their body composition is a polymorphic semi-solid that can shape shift into multiple forms across. My experiments revealed their original forms were vulnerable to fire and extremely high temperatures against their Blot Matter, but their current forms still retain their weaknesses to most high frequency sounds and their blood being used against them, a type of special acid. Anything else I have was lost on Cybertron to Unicron.”
“Perhaps I can refresh your memory.” A voice behind them said. Juan trend around to find Logic walking up, Blot Matter stained on him.
“What kept you? And where’s Alfreda?”
“I was occupied saving the Lost Light. Alfreda is not one to be angered as bad as Black had done so, he literally passed out from rage, but something is wrong with his systems preventing a proper reboot, most of these systems are down so I can’t connect to this Earth’s network, bring me up to speed.”
“Well apparently there’s another more evil Megatron leading these Blotlings, all of them are working for Anti-Matter, and they all just combined into a giant Phantom Blot. So yeah options.”
Logic approached the disabled cyclops and place his claws on Shockwave’s eye, his own glowing blue with information before he stepped back.
“Turn the attention of the Combiners over to him. Assemble me the following Autobots: Rodimus, Ultra Magnus, Windblade, Arcee, and Bumblebee. This Megatron is from a more primordial universe, quite likely the original, designated Primax 984.17 Alpha, it’s dating pinpoints it as one of the very first of this cluster, one that predates this one’s creation, thus while he arrived through a hole in dimension, he is not bound by all the laws of this universe as these cybertronians are, if any. There’s only one being that can counter him blow for blow in that case.”
“Good because I was gonna let you know that I’m positive this world’s Megatron would get wrecked. I hit him across the face and only got out a drop of his blood.” Juan replied running out the hole and landing finding a comm. “Attention anyone listening to this on the channels. This is Juan Mufongo, I’m going in to face Phantom Blt, I need combiner teams to hold him off, I repeat combiner teams, along with the following Autobots: Rodimus, Ultra Magnus, Windblade, Arcee, and Bumblebee, I need you to meet outside the Lemuria.”
Juan made his way across the battlefield, Blots not battling running to the massive Phantom Blot to merge with him and make him more powerful. As Juan came closer to the titan, he noticed at least 4 groups of vehicles that got closer to each other and began to change, merging and becoming bigger.
“Superion online!” A large jet based combiner shouted.
“We will fight to the end with you Mufongo.” The green and red combiner said earning a nod from Juan.
“We will tear him apart!” The animal based combiner shouted.
“Bruticus make Starscream pay for lies!” The more military looking combiner shouted lumbering for Starscream as he took evasive maneuvers from attacking Juan as Bruticus swung.
“Okay never thought this would happen today.” Juan made note to himself as he pulled out his rocket launcher and fired at Phantom Blot’s earning his attention to attack, and was smothered in the combined firepower of the combiners burning his form.
“We finally meet Juan Mufongo, know that I will not have the same depth of failure as the ones I’m embarrassed to call my brothers. Do you think their failures to destroy you speaks for the Blot Race as a whole. We amassed our current power because of countless millenniums of success, allow me to give you personal demonstration.” Phantom Bot boasted as he started to change his shape, his horns curving upwards through the helmet forming around his head. He developed skeletal wings, his form becoming more Cybertronian, but also malformed as his limbs took on features like different types of beasts, with a small pair of arms forming on the sides of his head and under his arms as he bared his green fangs in his new form.
“Okay refresher, Robot Satan?”
“The Combiner Monstructor with mixes of an abomination of a combiner from Primax 504.0 Gamma.”
“Thanks I needed that.” Juan replied before Phantom Blot unleashed a blast of green energy that burned the land behind them, erasing most things that made immediate contact wiping up a dirty stain. “Another one, just how acidic is that?”
“Recall when Alfreda took that face full of lava and it went down to his skull? Blot Thinner is harshly much more acidic than that.”
“Oh joy.” Juan replied using his chainsaw to cut through a leg, spraying Blot Matter everywhere.
————————————————————————————————
Rodimus looked to Ultra Magnus as they were reunited with their old friends, still feeling his face sting a little from Megatron’s retaliation for getting run over. “Juan said nothing about why we’re needed here?”
“Because you are share a connection with someone that can take of Megatron. Only a Prime, a True Autobot Commander can.”
“The last one… was Optimus.” Arcee replied.
“Yes, but not yours, a leader aligned only to aspire to peace where all are one. Think of that quality about him, how it managed to persist even when he had to change.”
“He had that about him in the end, he always saw the best in us, he reminded me how I made amends with what I had done.” Arcee said, her chest glowing with a blue aura.
“He saw how I earned my own right to call myself Rodimus from trying to be like him, because the name Prime still meant something.” Rodimus Added, glowing blue as well.
“Reminisce on him, I can fuse it together to pull something through.” Logic ordered as he used his cannon to harness the temporal energy fluctuating in the air to create a line. “Think of what he always thought; that there would be one to light the darkest hour.”
As Juan kept the Blot Hordes off against the Combiners keeping Phantom Bot at bay as blue cracks streaked across the sky towards The Lemuria.
“You better not be making this shit worse Logic.”
“I’m not. I’m simply using the damage they’ve lain to reach out into the multiverse.” Logic replied as the five bots glowed brightly, glows eventually pooling into the small pillar of temporal energy that formed in the middle.
“To do what?”
“Even the odds. But we’re missing something, someone close to Optimus Prime, someone who remembered him for who he was.”
“For all that we battled.” A raspy voice said. Logic turned to see it was the Megatron of the Lost Light. “He knew part of me was right when he discovered the sully Sentinel and his predecessors brought to the name Prime, even when it was revealed to be Shockwave’s elaborate lie, he still remembered what the name Prime meant, not only to lead, but to inspire, he inspired Autobots like Bumblebee to become leaders, heroes, but I will admit that he was the only one that earned the title of Prime.”
Megatron’s Autobot symbol glowed releasing a small ball of energy that merged with the pillar, creating a swirl of energy around it as it turned into some kind of portal. A purple blast mace smacked him across the face sending him crashing into Arcee.
“Megatron!” Rodimus shouted.
“You have besmirched the fear behind the name of Megatron! Conquering this world may be our goal, but ending you will be the pinnacle of my victory.” The Original Megatron shouted, showing great disdain for his counterpart as he redeployed his energon flail.
G1 Megatron spun it, building up momentum, then swung it forward, rocketing for the two Autobots, when a blue metal hand gripped the chain inches from the two, then pulled it forward, sending Megatron towards the portal before another fist punched him back, chipping out a few pieces of metal as he was sent rolling back before he caught himself. Megatron was stunned at the actual pain he felt as he followed the red arm that had reached through the portal Logic made and glared.
“You…”
Stepping out from the rest of the portal, was a autobot that was fully red, his torso resembling a truck front, two smokestacks on his shoulders, his head bearing a large mouthguard as his blue eyes took in his surroundings and looked to the downed Autobots.
“Rodimus Prime, are you okay?” He asked holding a hand out, his voice strong yet gentle, a tone that Rodimus recognized, thus was hesitant when he reached for the hand to be pulled up with Megatron.
“Optimus?”
“Yes and no. I am not the Optimus Prime that you know in your time, but from what I can tell, some trouble from my world has found its way here. Allow me to help, the only to defeat this restless army, is by removing its head.” Optimus said facing down his ancient enemy.
“So even across dimension even your weakling scientists couldn’t find, you still find a way to make me your priority Optimus.” The Original Megatron said with venom in his voice.
“Today you pay for the damage you did to the planet Cybertron, and the rest of the galaxy you terrorized.”
“Do you really think killing me will stop this? While this world is easy pickings Prime, I’m sincerely a chess piece in a larger game for someone more interested in the Wirewolf that brought you here.”
“A threat he proves he can stop when the time comes. While you will return with me to finally answer for all your crimes.”
“Never. NEVER!” Megatron replied firing his Fusion Cannon aiming straight for Prime’s chest, however Optimus was quick and dodged the shot, impacting a wall detonating it, while Optimus drew his own gun and fired, managed to clip Megatron’s Fusion Cannon off his arm. Megatron growled as he deployed his flail and rushed for Optimus, who deployed an orange axe in response and swung blow for blow against him.
Arcee stepped forward when both Rodimus and Logic stopped her.
“We have to help him. I watched Optimus jump to his death to save us, I won’t let this one die to do that again.” Arcee argued.
“You only sport a 13.46% chance of beating him. I myself sport a 49.4334% chance.”
“He’s right Arcee, I can feel it, this is his fight, all we can do is keep the Blot Hordes off of him.” Rodimus agreed.
———————————————————————————
Bruticus’ cannons lowered and fired straight at Phantom Bot’s chest, making Blot Matter explode out from the wound as he fell back screeching in pain.
“Victorion!” Juan shouted firing shots from his grenade launcher to keep the Blots busy.
Victorion’s hands glowed as he got ahold of most of Phantom Codes form, then used her power to rip apart most of him and ripping apart the Blot matter into small stringy chunks.
Phantom Bot roared in pain trying to get up only for Superion to slam him down again.
“And that, is that.” Victorion noted.
“Yeah if you wanted to piss him off. Blot Matter reforms.” Juan replied as the chunks began to reform and converge. Most of the matter returned to his owner, while a few large pieces reformed into blotling forms Juan was more familiar with, but looking more cybernetic and mechanical than before. “And it learns.”
Victorion attempted to use her powers again, but the Botlings slithered out of the aura and started to wrap around her legs, only for her to kick them off, distracting her long enough for the reconstructed Phantom Bot to smack her away, then pinned Superion down with one arm, and forming a large spike for a hand with his other.
“Predaking, torch him!” Juan shouted to the animal based combiner as he kept the Horde off of Victorion trying to submerge her with their Blot Matter.
Predaking sprayed a stream of fire from his chest onto Phantom Bot, making him roar in pain from the heat.
As Juan blasted another Spatter into pieces, a stream of plasma blasts barely missed him as he looked above to find Starscream descending, transforming to land on his feet.
“Hexatron was a pale knockoff of the pinnacle of Deception might, allow me to show you what he lacked, and why I will succeed where Anti-Matter fails.” Starscream boasted, the turbines on the sides of his cockpit chest opening to reveal missile racks.
“Bullshit compartments? Because I’m gonna guess bullshit compartments.” Juan replied as Starscream began firing them at Juan and across the battlefield, Juan ducking from the shots, earning the attention of Bruticus as he crushed another group of Blot’s beneath him.
“Starscream! Starscream trick Bruticus, think Starscream created Bruticus, Bruticus smash Starscream!” Bruticus charged for the Deception who looked with an agape mouth before focusing his payload on the gestalt.
Juan dove for Starscream’s legs, toppling the Deception before proceeding to wail on him, breaking off one of his arm guns. Starscream was completely vulnerable until his body shifted as he transformed again, and proceeded to fly off and out of the sky. Juan’s sensors indicated that Starscream was beginning to escape Earth’s Atmosphere.
“Better f*cking run.” Juan made note as he saw the Combiners back on their feet keeping Phantom Bot on the ropes. He noticed something a couple feet away and got closer to it. He picked it up finding it was Megatron’s fusion cannon, he looked it over before trying to attach it to his own arm, finding it would fit and took an aim at Phantom Bot, managing to fire a blast at him, landing a shot on his shoulder, destroying the arm on the side of his head and half of the helmet he wore.
Phantom Bot roared in pain before Victorion tried to use her powers on him again, which only angered him as he slithered out of it and started submerging her in his own Blot Matter.
“You fool. You think I am bound by the laws of gravity? The Blot race is bound by no laws! All you do is anger me, and make me want to learn…”
“Okay Logic, I might need your help on this.” Juan made his way back to the crashed Lemuria finding the gathered Autobots engaged in an all out brawl again the Blot Hordes, while the main event stood as a centerpiece of sorts to it all.
Optimus Prime and Megatron stood in the middle of the onslaught, trading blow for blow, unlike Juan’s battle with the tyrant, the blows they traded did actual damage, dents, cracks, and slashes present across their bodies as the battle for Earth raged around them.
“It’s over Megatron, Starscream’s has abandoned you once more, you have no one to take this Horde over once you’ve lost. There’s still a chance for you to leave with me peacefully.”
“Never! The Blots will consume this world before you win again Optimus!” Megatron shouted trying to punch Optimus in the face, only for Optimus to dodge and land a gut punch than an elbow, bits of energon flying through the air as Megatron was sent stumbling hard from the hits.
“Finish him off Prime!” Rodimus shouted.
“Do it now!” Bumblebee shouted.
“Exit Earth out of the darkest hour.” Logic added firing shots from left to right.
Optimus looked back to Megatron as he ran for him with arms out and flail deployed with a howl of fury.
“Megatron… be gone!” Optimus shouted finishing Megatron off with a two handed uppercut to the face, sending him flying backwards into the ground, stopping in front of the pile of rubble. Megatron tried to get back up, but barely found the strength to lift himself up, and collapsed back onto the pile, while Optimus fell to a knee to catch his breath.
As Phantom Bot spat out Victorion from his Blot Matter, ready for a round two against the combiners, he felt something given to him, a new power, a new authority, confused, he looked to see the defeated body of Megatron, and the confusion gave way for a sense of victory, changing back from his large malformed from into his original one.
“Blot Horde! Megatron has fallen! The Phantom Blot is your leader once again, let us leave this backwater rock, we are bound by Anti-Matter NO MORE! The rest of the multiverse is ours now, to conquer! We’ll be back for this world later.” The Phantom Bot then flew up into the sky, towards one of the holes in Space-Time, followed by the rest of the Blot Hordes together, many of them taking on different forms to fly up after him as well, some through other holes.
Arcee aimed upward before Logic lowered her weapon for her.
“They’re leaving. The time they give you before returning give you enough time to prepare, do not provoke them any more that they change their minds.” Logic informed her.
“Hey Rodimus.” Juan asked walking up holding Megatron’s fusion cannon. “You think Brainstorm could graft this onto me?”
“Mmm…Maybe. Give him a sketch and he might be able to cook something up.”
Optimus pulled Megatron up and put his hands behind his back, using a stray girder to bind his hands.
“I will take him back to Cybertron to face punishment for what he has done in our universe, but I will let the New Council know of his malice here as well.” Optimus explained.
“What about that Anti-Matter they kept mentioning?”
“We got him Roddy.” Juan replied pointing at himself and Logic, who used his cannon to expand the portal open. “You don’t mind if I keep this right?”
“Megatron won’t be needing it where he’s going.” Optimus said with a chuckle.
“Safe travels Optimus.” Ultra Magnus said with a smile.
“And to you as well old friend, to all of you, seeing you all together, how you’re all grown, Earth united for all races to come, I would say your Optimus Prime would be proud of the peace you achieved.” With that, Optimus continued through the portal, which then closed behind him as the portals above all started to close.
“All the tears are appearing to heal now, save for the one the Lost Light came through, it must be waiting for the last anomaly to return. Consider my services no longer required.” Logic said as his body began to revert.
“Logic do not pull that shit again.” Juan shouted.
“I came out only to ensure Alfreda’s safety, and you did fine before meeting Black, I’m returning to observation as I did beforehand, and intend to stay there.” Logic’s eye dimmed as his eyes separated and his body finished reverting back into Alfreda, falling to the ground limp like a bag of potatoes.
“Of course.” Juan mumbled.
“Yo Juan!” Jack’s voice shouted through the air. Juan turned to find Jack running through the rubble towards him.
“And where the f*ck were you?”
“Over there, recording all this.” Jack replied tapping his eye.
“You know what? I had fun, we won, I really don’t care.” Juan replied approaching Rodimus as the Lost Light started to descending below. “Will I need anesthetic, because I have a lot of weed which could be a good substitute.”
————————————————————————————————————————
Juan walked out of The Lemuria’s remains with a smirk as Jack looked him over, Alfreda’s unconscious body propped up in a chair. “Where’d they put it?”
A hole opened on Juan’s left shoulder and Megatron’s fusion cannon came swiveling out on an extension, then shifting around at different angles and even shifting how it held the cannon allowing for more maneuverability.
“So is that thing inside you?”
“Me and Brainstorm tried to figure that out, I’d rather wait on that little more before sitting and focusing on that. The extensions made of a Vibranium and Nth Metal alloy.”
“Where’d he get that ?”
“I gave it to him, for this. Just wanted to brag to Shockwave here, tell him how we kicked more Blot ass than Earth, nothing big.” Juan retracted the cannon as he reached for his earpiece. “Alright Whirl we’re coming up now.”
Juan waited for a response but got nothing, so he looked up to find the hole in space time gone, along with the Lost Light, meaning he, Jack, and Alfreda were stranded on Earth.
“God. F*cking. Dammit.”
“Juan take it easy.”
“No! Shut up! Just shut the f*ck up! This is just perfect ; That handless assbag decided to leave us here, the world’s strongest nerd’s never coming out again, the meat shield’s unconscious, the portal gun’s FUBAR, we’re stuck in the potluck of Hasbro concepts, none of which will accurately get us home, and if I don’t kill something within the next 5 minutes, I AM GOING TO HAVE AN ALPHA DAMN HEART ATTACK!!!”
At the name Alpha, Jack remembered back when they were in Hell and found some carving’s mentioning someone named Alpha. An idea clicked in his head as he got on his knees, bringing his claws together.
‘Alpha, Juan said your name was Alpha right? If you’re listening right now, if you’re even real, hear me out; we’re just trying to get back to our home, but some douchebag destroyed our only way home. My other friend showed he’s apparently a schizophrenic and beat the everloving crap out of him before falling unconscious. Right now my best friend is freaking out and I don’t want to see him have a heart attack. All I’m going to ask will be all I seek from you, in my only prayer to a god… could you please hang out at your place so we can recover and you can heal my friend?’
Jack got up from his knees and looked around before shrugging. Juan looked at him completely dumbfounded.
“I heard all of that. Did you just ask a god to crash at their place?”
“Like you have a better idea?”
Juan didn’t have a retort as a white portal opened up between them.
“Huh.” Jack said flabbergasted. “How come God didn’t do it like this when Alfreda asked for him to shit down his neck?”
“Shut up.” Juan replied picking up Alfreda while putting the portal gun remains in a bag. He proceeded through the portal followed by Jack before it closed.
—————————————————————————————————————————————————
The two walked on through, and found themselves in some kind of loft apartment.
“Where the hell are we?” Jack asked.
“This is the Alpha Plane, I remember learning about this spot back in Hell with DG. We found this inscription describing a place where Alpha would create the universe from, her home away from home.”
“Well why does it look like it was in California this whole time?” Jack asked.
Before Juan could answer, an explosion occurred from a door at the end of the hallway, followed by rainbow smoke. “Wait a minute! Wait minute! Wait a minute!”
Running out from the door covered in soot was a wirewolfess. She resembled the average female, her hair long and beautiful, a color of blue that seemed to shimmer through every shade of it at the same time. On her back she had a closed pair of dragon like wings, her eyes bearing pupils like a rainbow. She coughed out a few clouds of smoke before she snapped her fingers and the soot was gone, revealing her shell to be various shades of white.
“Sorry, I was trying to find a solution for carbon to be resistant to sulphur, less than successful incase you’re wondering.”
Juan was utterly confused. “Yeah… ok Wirewolfess Jesus… could you grab your mom… Alpha? Jack you called her Alpha right? I have something very important we need fixed, oh and my friend if she can multitask.”
The wirewolfess grabbed the bag and looked in it with a smile that appeared right on her face as she gasped. “A portal gun! I was hoping to… well me that there was one of these things still out there, sorry if I’m seem kind of weird, I haven’t heard a prayer like your friends in a long time and it peaked my attention. Actually glad I gave into my curiosity.”
Juan was completely silent as she sifted through all the parts in the bag. “Are you, f*ckin, kidding me, this is Alpha?”
“What’s the problem? Is it cause she’s… well a she?”
“No, she’s too casual, the last god I met struck down Alfreda like a real asshole. But now you pray while I have a panic attack and suddenly it’s like you’re penpals. I’ll tell you one thing… if there is a God, he or she's making less and less of an effort to make me believe in them.”
“Here you go.” Alpha said with a grin handing back a completely fixed portal gun.
“Thank you.” Juan said grabbing it before it clicked with him and he looked at the portal gun in his hands.
“You gonna smash it to prove a point?” Alpha asked.
“Get out of my head.” Juan replied looking at Alfreda’s unconscious body. “Could you fix this idiot? Not Jack, there’s no figuring that out.”
“Hey Juan! Even the water on the Beach is white! We should sell Real Estate here for people in Phoenix!” Jack shouted looking out the window.
“Stop it.”
Alpha’s eyes glowed and Alfreda was lifted into the air for her to examine, then placed him on a coach.
“He’s minds in tatters.” She whispered. “Make yourselves at home it might take a little longer than I thought.”
“And there it is.” Juan mumbled.
“Dude why do you hate women?” Jack asked looking around.
“What? You are an idiot, I don’t hate women, it’s a general dislike.”
“Again why?”
“Because they hate me . Example one, any Nightmare Moon we’ve met; 2, Tempest, three, Marik.”
“Uh Juan, I’m surprised you got tricked too but, Marik’s a guy.”
“What? That’s crazy, built like a chick, has on way too much jewelry on, and keeps showing interest in that Bakura guy…”
“Nope. Total dude, and it’s pronounced thiefshipping.”
“That’s stupid but it sorta makes sense now, he must be really in the closet.”
“You have no idea. Oh hey check it out; Alpha has Funko Pops.” Jack said picking up one. It was a green female humanoid with white hair, with makeup resembling crying around its pink eyes, wearing a black shirt with a crumbling heart on its chest, baring spiked shoulder pads, wearing yellow gloves with sneakers on. “I like this one. Check it.”
“You can keep that one if you like.” Alpha said before looking back through Alfreda’s mind. “Wow he is not ready to remember all of this. At least there’s the other half-oh that explains Jack.”
Jack tossed the Funko Pop to Juan, who examined it closely.
“Me too. Thanks.” He then tucked it in his chest hatch.
“Whoo~! The road to friendship is paid with positive comments.”
“I already regret it.”
“And that… should… do it.” Alpha said as she stood up and tapped Alfreda on the head like she was knocking on a door as if expecting an immediate response. “Any minute now, I haven’t done this in a long time.”
“Would you be willing to take Jack as a slave as payment for fixing him?”
“You know the day he’s gone you’re going to know a pain unlike any other. I’m not making a threat, it’s a fact that’s going to happen.”
Alfreda gasped as he came back to the land of the living in shock. “WHERE AM I!? WHAT HAPPENED!? WHERE’S BLACK!?”
“The Alpha Plane, you killed Babidi saving the day, and… you killed Black.” Juan simplified.
“What the hell’s the Alpha Plane?”
“It’s where God lives.” Jack replied with a smile.
“S’up?” Alpha said with a grin.
“Okay you’re throwing a lot at me right now, because the God I know is a man… hippo monkey… thing. At least I think he is.”
“Oh you mean Lord? Yeah he’s a weird one, I still can’t figure out where he came from.”
“Wait you met God? Hold up aren’t you his mother?”
“Oh so because I was first everyone’s related to me? I’ve only had 9 children, the singularity species were a project but I didn’t use own bits of my being, you of all people should know that considering your species.”
“You’re gonna have to back up where, the hell does any of that mean, I was built by an insane prehensile mane using super villain as a mother, used as a stress ball for the world’s most shy girl, who I am 90% sure has some kind of connection to a Giant Red Dog O War I just met, and am most likely being tracked by my new arch enemy, the what if child of Unico and Atomic Skull.”
Juan blinked. “Did you take a class on how to monologue like Rodney Dangerfield or was that a side effect of Alpha pulling the crayons outta your nose?”
“No. I just remembered a bunch of shit I didn’t before, it’s confusing, but it answers some of my questions, so I’m kinda torn.”
“Also she fixed the portal gun.”
“It was broken? When did that happen?”
“Goku Black smashed it. Said traveling across worlds was ‘a sin to try and do by anyone who was not a god.’ Well I can say you put the fear of God back into him. Not that it matters, his ass is definitely going straight to Hell. And Babidi too.”
“Wait. I killed him?”
“Yeah you killed all of them. And Zamasu.”
“Wait. Wasn’t he Immortal? Was it some only Immortal can kill an Immortal? Like the Highlander?”
“Yes. Like the Highlander, only you didn’t leave a body behind.”
“Then it’s not the Highlander.”
“I don’t f*cking know, you went on a murder spree, you killed him, then you killed Black, I don’t really care how.” Juan said annoyed with explaining.
“So we don’t have to worry about them anymore is the bottom line?”
“Yes.”
“Okay I just wanted to be sure, I must’ve blacked out because I can’t recall a thing .” Alfreda then turned to Alpha. “So you’re God? Where were you when Saddle Rager ripped out my spine?”
“I’m not as omnipotent as you think, I don’t just show up like ‘poof’ because someone prayed to me really hard, at least not all the time like you might think I can, I gave that up a long time ago.”
“Why?”
“Imagine knowing everything that has, is, and will happen, in every waking moment of your life, get back to me when the burden of omnipotence is too much.”
“Okay you got me beat, I loathe the burden of never dying every day, but that sounds so goddamn mind numbing already.” Alfreda then got a better look around the house. “So you’ve been in a California Loft for all this time?”
“This is the Alpha Plane, my home, I change it’s appearance from time to time when it gets dull, believe me, watching over all creation from here just by myself can get old very quickly if you’re not creative.”
“You don’t have kids? You know like God has Jesus, Odin has Thor, Osiris has Horus… okay those last two are the only ones I have that aren’t the result of inbreeding. You know what I’m talking about.”
“I have nine actually, all girls. Seven are in a deep slumber, two… are dead.” Alpha replied, hesitant to reference the other two, signifying how deep their death’s hurt her.
“I’m so sorry for your loss.” Alfreda replied stroking her back to soothe her.
“It’s been a millennium since, I guess someone has to be. And please stop stroking me like that.”
“Oh sorry, is your fur naturally this soft or do you do something with it?”
“Au natural.”
“Wait wasn’t Isis-” Juan started to say before Alfreda stopped him holding his hand up, signaling now was not the time for that.
“Well I gotta say thanks for fixing the portal gun and saving my brain I guess, so do we barter about this or-”
“On the house. I actually enjoyed your company. I gave it a little boost, feel free to pop by anytime, just pray as a call ahead.”
“Bonus.” Alfreda said with a smile before firing it at the window creating a portal to walk through. “I’m friends with God!”
“You mind fixing this thing?” Juan asked holding out a small green and white robot in his hands. “I got it working but it won’t change or anything.”
Alpha looked it over and tapped its chest causing it to glow then passed it back to him. “What exactly did you do to this one? That should’ve worked.”
“Well we need a ride, and I don’t want him trying to crush us so I just rendered him brain dead no biggie, the dude tried to kill a lot of people.” Juan replied stepping through.
“You should try cooking you chicken at. Flower temperature.” Jack said holding something charred in his hand as he jumped through the portal before it closed.
Alpha stifled a gag as she was left alone in the Alpha Plane again.
“That…wasn’t chicken.”
——————————————————————————————-
The three wirewolves popped up on an asteroid surrounded by worlds brimming with new plant life.
“Jesus, I guess Poison Ivy won in this universe.” Alfreda said looking around.
“How do you know who that is?” Juan asked.
“Apparently I watched a lot of pop culture before I met you guys, Alpha must clicked that on too. What’s with the toy?” Alfreda asked pointing to Juan’s hand holding said toy.
“This isn’t a toy. It’s Hexatron.”
“Didn’t he try to murder us back with those Lost Lighters or whatever on Earth? I was asleep for that I think I don’t really know.”
“Yeah, but six modes, and Black destroyed the Warthog, I decided to kill two birds with one stone.” Juan pressed a button on his gauntlet and tossed the figure up, causing it to transform into a large spaceship with three seats. “The guy’s brain dead so I asked Chromedome to help connect his bodily functions to my gauntlet, and Alpha to jumpstart his spark.”
“You a crazy motherf*cker to think this will pan out well.”
“Oh no I’m a sociopath I’ll admit this, but do you know anyone else with a robot car?”
“No, and honestly, I don’t care, as long as it flies.” Alfreda replied getting in. “Shotgun!”
“Shotgun- f*ck.” Jack said a second too late before getting in the back.
Juan jumped into the pilot seat looking to his passengers. “So what do you want to do in particular here? Find some famous locals? Murder a local villain?”
“I want to go home Juan, I didn’t ask for an adventure too.”
“Well what’s the point of a trip back home if you can’t enjoy it?”
“I’m positive we’ve been gone for so long everyone I’ve loved is most likely dead I’d rather we show up while I can still look at the bodies.”
“Fine. You’re panicking over nothing I hope you know that.” Juan replied starting the thrusters and sending them zooming across the stars. “I already love this car and take back all the shit I said about him!”
—————————————————————————————————
Sigil almost fell asleep at the radar until a beep it made jerked him back to reality as a blip went across the screen.
“Yo where’s the boss? They’re back. Somehow.”
“Busy with something else.” A Sweeper changing the lightbulbs in the ceiling replied, briefly looking at the radar for a second. “Said something about two cosmic anomalies of power showing up on the scanners. Oh hey that’s actually the universe she found it.”
“Well Alfreda and his Band of Misfit Boys are in the same universe. Think we should tell her then?”
“Nah, let it be a pleasant surprise. I mean we just lost a large amount of our Blot Forces, Megatron, Starscream went rouge in that universe, and that Anti Alfreda Mobileformer shit she was trying out is gone, this’ll keep her distracted as it is.”
As The Sweeper and Sigil continued their work, Daybreaker looked at the radar with a small smile. “Oh I look forward to meeting you face to face Logic, I promise you it’ll be something to remember.”
Daybreaker chuckled to herself as she walked out of the room, giddy in what Alfreda’s resurgence from brief secrecy would bring.
Author's Note
FINALLY! After a long time this is done. Season 1 Is going on hiatus until further notice. Leave your comments below, and I'm also going to be posting this one my page on DeviantART.
Season Two will happen but I'm just very busy right now and want to take a break.
