Chapters Chapter 1: The New Tour Group Chapter 2: A New World Chapter 3: And I Thought I Was The Odd One. Chapter 4: Welcome!!! Chapter 5: Castle Party Chapter 6: Organizing Affairs Chapter 7: The Rusty Horseshoe Chapter 8: A Friend of the Royal Family Chapter 9: A Day With Spike, pt.1 Chapter 10: A Day WIth Spike, pt.2 Chapter 11: Carousel At Night Chapter 12: Confessions Chapter 13: Adventures in Fillysitting, pt. 1 Chapter 14: Adventures in Fillysitting, pt.2 Chapter 15: Adventures in Fillysitting, pt. 3 Chapter 16: A Few Days Later Chapter 17: Nightmare Night, pt. 1 Chapter 18: Nightmare Night, pt.2 Chapter 19: Nightmare Night, pt. 3 Chapter 20: Music in the Park Chapter 21: The Night Before Chapter 22: A Royal Pain in the Ass Chapter 23: In Your Dreams, pt. 1 Chapter 24: In Your Dreams, pt. 2 Chapter 25: In Your Dreams, part 3 Chapter 26: Wake Up Call Chapter 1: The New Tour Group
"And those are known as stalactites. Now, are there any questions?" The tour guide grinned like a geek. Ricky rolled his eyes and sighed "Don't suppose there's a bathroom in here, is there?"
The guide narrowed his eyes "As my answers to your previous sarcasm, no. Now, if you would all follow me over here..."
Ricky groaned. He had strongly expressed his disinterest in taking a cave tour, but his professor had strongly insisted that he attend or risk failing his geology final. Geology. Ricky had only signed up for the class in the first place because he was a credit short. He hadn't expected it to be THIS boring, however.
Fuck it, he thought, and stopped to "tie his shoe". Beside him, Melanie Richards frowned at him "You know, if you just gave a damn about these caves, you wouldn't be so bored all the time."
"And if you would pull your head out of your ass, you would realize just how fucking pointless this all is." Ricky snapped back. Appalled at what he said, Melanie stormed off in a huff.
"Nerd." Ricky muttered. He figured he would go check out that side cavern that they passed a while back. It was as good a place as any, and he was dying to smoke a joint. He waited until the group turned the corner, then ran back down the path they came, then ducked into the side cavern.
"Finally. I needed this." Ricky settled down on a flat rock and lit up. As he sucked the sweet smoke down into his lungs, he thought he heard footsteps.
"Damn it...can't ever catch a break." He stood quickly and ducked around the corner. A moment later, he heard a voice.
"Dang it, Scootaloo! I told you we should have stayed with the group!" It sounded like a 9 year old girl, with a southern twang in her voice.
"Oh, come on, Apple Bloom! We said we were gonna get our cutie marks in spelunking, and we're gonna do it!" The second voice sounded like a young girl too, only this one had more of a tomboyish tone.
"I actually wouldn't mind going back myself. It's starting to get dark, not to mention it smells funny down here." The third sounded rather innocent, almost naïve.
Shit! Ricky had forgotten all about the fact that he had a joint going. He tried to put it out, but only succeeded in burning his fingers. He yelped in pain, then tried to cover his mouth. Too late.
"What was that, girls? Sounded like a timber wolf!" The southern girl sounded nervous all of a sudden.
"You numbskull, timber wolves live in the Everfree Forest!" The tomboy chided her friend.
"Then it must be a dragon! Only it sounded like a baby dragon, and the only baby dragon around here is Spike, and he's with Twilight!" The naïve girl whimpered in fear.
Dragons? Timber wolves? Ok, enough was enough.
"Hey, kids, don't be alarmed. It's just me." Ricky stepped out from his hiding place "See? I'm a- YAAAARRRRGGHHH!!!"
What he thought were kids were three brightly coloured young horses...well, one horse, one unicorn and a Pegasus, to be precise. Ricky stammered in shock "Ok...this has to be a hallucination...but you can't hallucinate on weed! OH god...what's happening to me?!"
"Uh....do you need to sit down, mister? I think I have some water left in ma canteen." The yellow pony with the southern voice picked it up in her mouth and walked it over to Ricky who took it, stunned.
"What is he, anyway? He looks like a Bigfoot, only he has no hair. Well, except for what's on his head, that is." The orange Pegasus tomboy approached him with interest.
"Human. Why are you talking?" Ricky went to take a drink, but missed his mouth entirely, drenching his shirt.
"Um...cause we can?" The unicorn offered helpfully "Why are you so shocked at that?"
"Well, horses aren't supposed to talk, for one thing!"
The Pegasus stared at him with an incredulous look "Uh...you're joking, right?"
"No. I mean, how are you possible?"
"Well, you're in Equestria, aren't you? It's made up entirely of talking ponies!" the Pegasus said matter-of-factly.
Ricky was confused "Equestria? I thought I was in New Mexico...wait, that's not the point! Where's the rest of my tour group? I came from over there, and..." Ricky's voice trailed off as he pointed to a dead end "Where the hell's the tunnel I came from?!"
The three ponies glanced at each other, worried "Um, I think you'd better come with us, Mr...what is your name, anyway?" The yellow Southern-accented one asked.
"Ricky. Ricky Lahey. Do you mind if I ask yours?" Ricky asked, calming down somewhat.
"Oh, well ma name's Applebloom. The Pegasus is Scootaloo, and that's Sweetie Belle!" Applebloom said happily.
"So...why are you girls here on your own in the first place? I mean, you seem kind of young. I may not be 100% responsible, but even I know that kids shouldn't be wandering a cave unsupervised."
The Pegasus huffed "Hey! We're not THAT young! Well, we are on a class field trip, so I guess that kind of contradicts what I said."
"Well, where's your tour group?" Ricky asked.
"Oh, they're not far behind. We got sick of Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon making fun of us, so we came down here to blow off a little steam." Sweetie Belle explained "So, how did you get to a cave in Equestria, Mr. Lahey?"
"Ugh, Ricky, please. Well, it's kind of ironic, but I was also on a class trip, and I also came down here to relax, when all of a sudden I heard you three. However, I thought you were humans, so I hid because I didn't want to get caught, but when I heard how young you sounded I thought maybe I'd be somewhat in the clear. Then, I saw you were ponies, we freaked out and now I think I'm starting to go insane!" Ricky began to breathe heavily, slowly working himself into a hysteria. Scootaloo tossed a small rock at his head, and he relaxed a bit "Phew. Sorry about that."
"Wow, then you're real lucky that we found ya, Ricky! You know, I'm sure our teacher might be able to help you out. If you want, we can take you to her!" Applebloom said helpfully.
"Sure, what have I got to lose? I don't see my luck changing right away." Ricky grabbed his backpack and stood up. The three fillies led the way down the long, dark cavern, until Ricky heard an older voice.
"And this, my little ponies, is known as pyrite, AKA Fool's Gold. While it looks like the real thing, it's very easy to...Oh, hello, girls! Nice of you to finally join us!" A tall, magenta pony glared at the three fillies.
"Er, sorry, Miss Cheerilee, but we were trying to help our friend out, here!" Applebloom said. Cheerilee seemed to soften at this.
"Well, if it's in the name of friendship, I suppose that's al-YAAAARRRGHH! Girls, get away from that thing right now! Quickly!"
"O-ok, whoever or whatever you are, you need to step away from my students at once!" Cheerilee said angrily "Girls, come over here, NOW!!"
"But Miss Cheerilee, you don't understand!" Sweetie Belle tried to explain, but her teacher silenced her with a glare. The three fillies ran over to stand with the rest of the class, giving everyone apologetic looks. Cheerilee took a deep breath "Now, slowly step away, and leave us be!"
Ricky rolled his eyes "Ok, first of all, I have no intention of harming you or your students."
"It talks!" The class shrieked and hid behind their teacher. However, one filly with an orange frizzy mane and blue rimmed glasses gasped and ran up to him.
"Twist, come back here!" Cheerilee cried, but Twist ignored her and instead approached Ricky in awe.
"Wow...two legs, arms, super intelligent....just like the myths said you were like!" She had a touch of a lisp, but Ricky wasn't interested in that "Uh...what exactly do you mean by myths?"
"Humans, of course! There's been stories circulating about them for centuries!"
Ricky was about to respond angrily, but then thought about it . He had already met a Pegasus and a unicorn, both of whom were talking about dragons living nearby just ten minutes ago. If mythical creatures in his world were commonplace in Equestria, then that would mean that in Equestria, humans were the mythical creatures "Actually, I have no reason to argue with you, Twist. Me being a myth in your world makes perfect sense. After all, in my world, unicorns and Pegasi are just myths."
"Exactly!" Twist turned and stuck her tongue out at one of her classmates "See, Diamond Tiara? If you would just give it a chance, you'll see that cryptozoology is NOT all hokum!"
"Hold up. So, are you telling us that mythical creatures actually exist? Think of the money we could get for him!" The one called Diamond Tiara gushed. Ricky could have sworn he saw brief dollar signs appear in her eyes. He made a mental note to stay away from her as much as possible.
"Yeah! The Canterlot Zoo would go crazy for this thing!" Another bespectacled, seemingly snobbish pony agreed. However, Cheerilee spoke up.
"STOP!! We don't even know how this thing got here in the first place!" The teacher pony slowly stepped forward "Now, would you please tell us just what in the name of Celestia is going on?"
"Well, to be perfectly honest ma'am, I have no idea how it happened either. You see, I was on a really boring field trip with my geology class, when I decided to duck off down a side tunnel and have some alone time. Then, I overheard your students, made my presence known, and then discovered that the tunnel I had come down had disappeared. Does that make enough sense do you?" Ricky shook his head in frustration. Cheerilee nodded slowly "Alright, I see. I thought I spoke to the staff here about making sure that those tunnels were blocked off."
"Wait...so does that mean you trapped me here, lady?!" Ricky yelled. Cheerilee threw up her hooves defensively "No! No, I mean that nopony knows what's down those tunnels, due to them being made off limits years ago. However a certain trio here..." Sweetie Belle waved at Ricky happily "...feels the need to risk their necks everytime we come here, so I asked that the staff do something about it. However, they are some of the laziest stallions I have EVER met. I'm guessing we now know, however, that one of those tunnels is an interdimensional portal of some sort."
"Ok...so then how do you explain this portal disappearing on me?" Ricky suddenly remembered the half-smoked joint in his hand and lit it back up "Don't mind me, I'm borderline stressing out at the moment."
"Well...most portals only open at certain points of time, so it may be 2 hours, 2 days, or even 2 months! I would think that for now, the only logical thing for you to do is come with us back to the schoolhouse. Fortunately, I happen to be a dear friend of Princess Twilight Sparkle, possibly the smartest mare I know. She'll be able to answer some questions for you. By the way, do you really have to do that in such a small area? You are around children after all..."
"Oh...sorry, ma'am. This princess, won't she be upset if we bother her?" Ricky asked, pinching out the joint and tucking it into his cigarette pack. The students started sniffing the air as well, some curious and some disgusted.
"Oh, goodness, no! Princess Twilight loves having ponies drop in to see her. She would be fascinated by your presence. " Cheerilee smiled happily. Ricky eyed her suspiciously "You know, for someone who was terrified of me a few minutes ago, you certainly seemed to have gotten friendly all of a sudden."
Cheerilee sighed "Look, I'm sorry. My protective instincts kicked in, you see, and well, frankly, I was not expecting to see such a rare creature let alone a supposedly fictional one, so I sort of panicked. Please, let me make it up to you somehow."
"Well, don't worry about it. If you can help me find out what the hell is going on here, that'll be just fine." Ricky smiled "My name's Ricky, Ricky Lahey." He grimaced as he spoke his last name.
"Well, it's a pleasure to properly meet you, Ricky. And I would appreciate it, Diamond Tiara, if you and Silver Spoon would keep you entrepreneurial aspirations to YOURSELF from now on. This...Ricky is our guest. Do you understand?" Cheerilee glared at the two fillies, who shied away from her gaze. As Ricky walked by, Diamond stuck her tongue out at him, and Ricky flipped her the bird. Shocked at seeing a finger for the first time, Diamond got far back.
"Alright, my little ponies and Ricky, on we go!"
***
"Are we there YET??" A green, slightly portly colt whined, desperately trying to catch up to the rest of the group. Cheerilee groaned audibly "We're still at least 15 minutes away from the entrance, Snips."
"But I'm getting tired...Can't we take a break?" They had been walking for about a half hour or so, and Snips had been griping for a good third of the trip.
"We could sing a road tune..." A tall gangly orange colt suggested, earning glares from his fellow travellers. Scootaloo shook her head profusely "Snails, I tell you this as a friend, but you've got quite possibly the worst singing voice I have ever heard." Ricky was surprised with her bluntness. Snails, however, seemed unaffected.
"I can live with that, Scoots." Snails slowed his gait slightly, allowing Snips to catch up.
"So...if I'm supposed to be a mythical creature, how are you going to explain me to everyone else? They're obviously going to be surprised." Ricky asked Applebloom, eyebrow raised.
Chuckling, Applebloom replied "The amount of weird things that go on here, I doubt you'll be TOO out of place. But if ponies try to bother you, we can take 'em all on!"
"I doubt that'll be necessary." Sweetie Belle added. As she spoke, Ricky was relieved to see the exit looming roughly forty feet or so ahead. He could see several ponies milling around, all of whom were about to see something extremely alien to them. At the thought of being the center of attention, he started to slow down, suddenly feeling apprehensive.
Scootaloo took notice of his sudden wariness "Hurry up, Ricky! We told you this won't be as scary as you think."
Cheerilee nodded "Just stick with the group, look straight ahead, and don't think about anypony else until we arrive at the schoolhouse. I guarantee you won't have any trouble." Ricky felt a little better at this "You sure about that?"
"Absolutely."
Ricky took a deep breath, held it for several seconds, and let it out "Ok..I'm ready. I can do this." He followed the class through the entrance of the cave, squinting at the bright sunlight. When his eyes finally adjusted, he was stunned at the magnificent sight before him. Applebloom took notice of his expression, smiled proudly and announced:
"Ricky, allow me to be the first to welcome you to Ponyville!"
Chapter 3: And I Thought I Was The Odd One.
"God, can't you make them stop staring, girls? It's really starting to creep me out." Ricky glanced around nervously at all the ponies that were watching him. They were less scared than fascinated, however.
"Sorry, Rick. Once everypony becomes interested in something, they won't leave it alone." Scootaloo said helpfully.
"Don't worry though, we'll be at Twilight's castle soon!" Sweetie Belle chimed in.
"So, I was meaning to ask, how strict is this princess? I mean, should I bow upon entering the room, or pull a seat out for her, or..." Ricky trailed off as the three fillies rolled around laughing "What? I've never met royalty before, so I don't know how to act."
Applebloom sat up, gasping for air "Trust me, Twilight might be the biggest nerd that ever lived in Ponyville. You should be more concerned that she doesn't try to hook you up to some kind of freaky device."
"Wait, so your royalty is a mad scientist? No, thanks." Ricky turned to leave, only to come face to face with a pink pony with a poofy pink mane and tail. She gasped loudly upon seeing him, then took off like...well, like a racehorse.
"WHAT was that?" Rick stared after the strange pony. Sweetie Belle groaned "That was Pinkie Pie. If I were you, I would be careful. You'll probably be seeing a lot of her in the next little while."
"Jeez. I'm really starting to wonder about this place. I mean, I..." Ricky trailed off as they came to Twilight's castle. He stared up in awe as the light reflected off of the crystal facets.
"Well, let's see if she's home!" Scootaloo banged on the door. Ricky shook his head and then tried to tame his messy blonde hair. After a moment, the door glowed with a deep aura and opened wide.
A purple unicorn...well, she wasn't just a unicorn. She also had the wings of a Pegasus, which Ricky made a mental note to ask about later. The winged unicorn glanced down at the three fillies and she smiled.
"Hi, girls! What can I do for you today?" Twilight asked happily "Do you need any help with your homework, or have an important thing to learn about friendship?"
"Well, no, not really. You see, we were in the Everfree Caves this afternoon on a school field trip, and..." Sweetie Belle began, but Twilight cut her off eagerly "Oh, I LOVE the caves! What was your favorite part? And PLEASE don't say the gift shop, because EVERYPONY always says the gift shop."
"Actually, we...wow, this is kind of hard to say, but...we found a human in the caves!" Applebloom said awkwardly.
Twilight stared at her for a second, then began laughing heavily "Oh, wow, girls, that has to be the best one I've heard all my life! A human in Equestria...it's not even possible! I mean, the whole concept of a hu..." She finally noticed Ricky, who smiled and waved at her. A second later, he felt himself being pulled inside by an unseen force along with the three fillies, the door slamming heavily.
"Sweet Celestia, you weren't lying! Oh, he's magnificent!" Twilight was all over Ricky, gushing at his hands, his ability to stand on two legs, etc.
"Uh, any chance you could back up just a little bit? You're kind of in my bubble." Ricky said calmly. Twilight blushed and backed off.
"Oh, I'm so sorry! I just never imagined that I would ever get to see an actual human in the flesh! I mean, I had read all about them when I was a filly, and I used to spend hours in those caves with my brother, hoping to meet one!" Twilight sighed happily "I have to know, how did you come to be here in the first place?" She propped herself on her hooves, eager to listen.
20 minutes later, Ricky finished telling his story yet again "And once again, that's how I came to be in your world."
"Wow...I can't believe that those tunnels are actually portals to other worlds! I mean, a world full of actual humans! There could very well be other worlds beyond other tunnels, and...oh, I have to write a letter to the Princess! Spike!" Twilight said all of this in a single breath.
A few seconds later, Ricky heard light footprints, and then a door opened to reveal...to reveal...
"Hey, girls! What brings you by?" The little purple dragon waved to the three fillies, gave Ricky a friendly nod, and then walked up to Twilight "Let me guess, you want to write a letter?"
"Not just any letter, Spike! This letter contains quite possibly the greatest discovery in all of Equestria!" Twilight thrust a quill and piece of paper into the dragon's hands.
"Really? What kind of discovery?" Spike asked, preparing to write.
"Okay...brace yourself." Twilight took a deep breath "You've heard the stories about humans, right?"
"Humans? You mean those two legged alien things that look like shaved monkeys? What about them?" Spike asked, then it dawned on him "Oh, you've gotta be kidding me, Twilight!" He started laughing his head off. Twilight glared at him and used her magic to turn his head to face Ricky. Spike took one look, froze, and then instantly passed out, pen and paper falling.
"Well, I guess he won't be writing a letter for a while now." Twilight sighed. Ricky picked up the pen and paper "Um, humans do know how to write very well. What did you want the letter to say?"
"Oh! Well, if you don't mind, could you put...Dear Princess Celestia, I have the most exciting news that I could ever possibly give you. I have discovered the existence of a new species of bipedal creatures, and request your permission to present a sample before you. Yours faithfully, Princess Twilight Sparkle."
"...Twilight Sparkle. Okay, so where do you keep your envelopes?" Ricky looked around, but saw nothing. Meanwhile, the girls were having noticeable difficulty reviving Spike.
"Oh...well, you see, we can only send it by dragonfire if we want the princess to receive it quick enough, but unfortunately, our only source is out cold." Twilight said dejectedly.
"Hey! Watch it!" Sweetie Belle jumped out of the way of Spike's flame, and Scootaloo quickly took her hoof off of the dragon's chest. Ricky suddenly got an idea from this.
"'Scuse me, girls." Ricky walked over to Spike and held the letter over his mouth. Then he pressed down on the dragon's stomach, and a steady flame shot out. The letter vanished into thin air.
"Well, I wasn't expecting that, but alright then!" Twilight said happily "Now all we need to do is-" But she was interrupted by a knock a the door.
"Who could that be?" She mused, but opened the door nonetheless. An orange colored earth pony wearing a cowboy hat and a white unicorn with an elegantly styled mane entered the room.
"Twilight, I do apologize for our intrusion, but Miss Cheerilee told us that the girls would be here?" The unicorn asked in a fancy voice.
"Oh! Rarity, Applejack! I'm so glad you two are here! I have the most incredible person for you two to meet!" Twilight led the two of them over to Ricky. Right away, the unicorn froze up, eyeing him up and down, while the one called Applejack just stared at him "So, er...what's so great about him?" she asked.
"What? Do you two have any idea what this is?" Twilight asked incredulously. Ricky sighed "Umm...I do have a name, you know."
Twilight blushed "Oh, sorry. Girls, this is Ricky, a human. Due to an series of unfortunate events, he's going to be visiting Ponyville for a while. And as Princess of this town, I expect you to make him feel welcome!" She fixed them with a friendly, yet steely gaze.
"Uh, Twi? Why are you trying to use the authoritarian stuff on us, here? I mean, no one said we was all gonna be rude to him." Applejack said hastily. She smiled at Ricky and held out a hoof "Howdy, there! Name's Applejack! I see you already met ma little sister, Applebloom."
"Oh, she's your sister, then? Makes sense." Ricky shook her hoof, then turned to Rarity, who still sat in shock.
"Um...hello? Are you okay, miss?" Ricky waved a hand in front of her face, and she came to her senses.
"Oh! Where ARE my manners?" She batted her eyelashes "I am Rarity, and I do apologize for my rude behavior. I was...surprised, you could say."
"Oh, because you've never seen a human before, is that right?"
"Human? Oh darling, I couldn't care less about that. I was just baffled at those...unsightly clothes."
Ricky looked down at his torn blue jeans and Doors t-shirt "What's wrong with my clothes?"
"Ignore her, she's a designer." Sweetie Belle piped up. Rarity glared at her.
"I happen to be a fine seamstress with a MARVELOUS eye for fashion. And you're lucky Mom and Dad are out of town, or else you would NOT be here in the first place!" Evidently, Sweetie Belle was her younger sister.
Ricky had never felt more awkward before in his life "Umm...shouldn't we maybe get Spike there to the hospital? He might have a concussion."
"Oh, just leave him for a few minutes. He'll wake up once he smells Rarity's perfume." Twilight giggled, and the designer glared at her.
"Anyhow, I need to get some air, so...do you have a back yard, or something?" Ricky was really getting agitated.
"Through those doors over there." Thanking her, Ricky slipped out and pulled out a cigarette.
"Ahhh....." he collapsed on a stump and sighed happily. As he took in his surroundings. Ponies were walking by, some stopping to stare while others just glanced and went on their ways. Taking a drag, he blew up into the tree branches. Suddenly, they began to shake and cough.
Nervous, Ricky stamped out his smoke and stepped out from under the tree "H-hello? I'm REALLY sorry, whoever you-WOAH!!!" A cyan blue Pegasus with a rainbow coloured mane fell where he just stood.
"Owwww...."She groaned, rubbing her head "What kind of an idiot has a campfire in their backyard?!"
"Um...every idiot from my world?" Ricky asked helpfully.
"Very funny. Listen, Twilight, I...YAAAAHHHHH!!!!!" The Pegasus leaped into the air and backed up about five feet or so "W-w-w-what the hay are you?!"
"Oh, great..." Ricky sighed again, and spoke quickly and abruptly this time "Ricky. Human, came through a funky portal. Staying here until I can figure out just what the hell is supposed to be going on. Already sent a letter to the Princess." He pulled out another smoke and lit it.
"Wait...so you were the one who lit the fire under me and woke me up?! Not cool, dude! Nopony smokes out Rainbow Dash!" She struck a heroic pose, and Ricky just had to laugh at this "Hey, what's so funny?" Rainbow asked, annoyed at his reaction.
"I went to school with a dude just like you. He always had to be the best at everything, but turned into a complete girl at the tiniest, most unexpected little things." Ricky grinned "And by the way, this is just a cigarette. If I wanted to light a fire under you, you would be able to tell."
"Huh." Rainbow landed, but still eyed him warily "So...you said you were...a human?"
"Yep. Apparently, we're extinct or something." Ricky shrugged.
"Well, you guys still have a huge cult following. I mean, some of the movies made about you alone!"
"Yeah, well we...wait, did you say you have movies about humans?!" Ricky stared, incredulous "You mean like, documentaries or something?"
"Try monster movies. Trust me, you haven't seen anything until you've watched 'Human From the Everfree Forest'. Modern classic, I'd say." Rainbow got doe-eyed momentarily, but quickly shook it off.
"Wow...a pony fan-girl. Now I've seen everything."
"Hey! I'm no fan-girl!" Rainbow shouted, blushing. But at that exact moment, Twilight came outside.
"Oh! Rainbow Dash! I thought I heard you shouting out here. I see you've met Ricky already. No doubt going all fan-girl like you do at those ridiculous movies you and Lyra enjoy." Twilight said innocently. Rainbow turned crimson at this.
"I...er...uh...that its...I'm gonna go see if Pinkie Pie needs any help!!" Rainbow zoomed off, clearly humiliated.
"What does she mean, 'help Pinkie Pie'? Is that that crazy one that freaked out at the sight of me?" Ricky asked, confused.
"Did she have an atrociously poofy mane?" Rarity joined them, Applejack and the fillies close behind.
"I don't know about atrocious, but it was pretty poofy." Ricky agreed, taking a drag.
"You've met Pinkie Pie, alright. Let's just say, brace yourself for tonight." Applejack said forebodingly, as if recalling a haunting memory.
"Wait...what do you mean by that?!" Ricky was becoming increasingly afraid.
"Oh, darling, do relax!" Rarity said sympathetically "The journey must have tired you out so much..." Suddenly, she gasped "I-DEE-AAAAAAHHHH!!!!" she sang. Applejack groaned at this.
"Why don't Twilight and I take this poor boy to the spa for the afternoon? It'll give him a chance to mingle with some of our locals, PLUS with Twilight's presence..." She looked over at her friend expectantly.
"...that with their Princess present, they'll have to see that he's alright! Rarity, that's genius!" Twilight said happily "Ricky, what do you say?"
"Ugh....getting pampered and fawned over and told that I really need to start clipping my nails...can I get high first?" Ricky crossed his fingers.
"If you think it'll help...whatever 'getting high' is..."
"Then, I'm in." Ricky smiled. Rarity cheered and danced around the room, then regained her composure "Oh...terribly sorry." she blushed.
"Uh...scuse me?" Applejack waved her hoof "What am I, diced apples?"
"Oh, right...OH! You can take the girls for a bit!" Twilight said helpfully.
"Sure, I'd be happy to!" Applejack said sarcastically, and as she led the fillies past Ricky, she whispered to him "I know exactly what you mean by 'getting high', and I would LOVE to take you up on that later."
"Wait...do you mean that you...?" Ricky was confused. Applejack winked at him "Oh, we have a different way of describing it here." She left the palace with the girls in tow, and Ricky shook his head in amazement. He was getting used to this place surprisingly quickly.
"Wow..."
***
"So, should I remember anything about this spa? Any crazy rules?" Ricky strolled along, taking note of everypony that he saw. They seemed to be acting friendlier towards him. Word must have gotten around that he was okay.
"Rules...?" Twilight racked her brain "Gosh, I really don't know. I don't go to the spa too often, you see."
"Twilight, I am APPALLED at you!" Rarity huffed "I would imagine that a pony of your intelligence would be aware of such things!"
"Sorry..." Twilight rolled her eyes.
"Right, so you must never raise your voice, Ricky. Also, they do not appreciate drama, not in the slightest! They will NEVER stand for anypony eating in the mud baths, and most importantly...ugh, I do NOT enjoy saying the word...no performing a certain indecent act in the Jacuzzi!" Rarity shuddered at the thought.
Ricky thought for a moment, then it hit him "So...no farting in the tub?"
Rarity gasped and turned beet red at his words, while Twilight started busting a gut.\
"Why, Ricky! I...I NEVER!!" Rarity stammered, clearly disgusted at what he said.
"Sorry, Rarity, I-" Ricky began, but Twilight waved him off "Forget her, Ricky. She'll never get used to that sort of thing. Anyway, here we are!"
They approached the large, double doors. Ricky went to open them, but they opened automatically.
"Oh, your highness!" Two Earth ponies who appeared to be twins entered the room. They had matching hairstyles and smocks, but one was blue and the other pink. Strangely enough, their hair colour was the same colour as the other's body.
"Aloe, Lotus, how are you? Now, I don't want you girls to be alarmed, but..."
"Oh, this must be the human!" The spa ponies walked up to Ricky, smiling politely "We heard about him through Pinkie Pie, of course." The blue one said.
"And of course, if he is a guest of the princess, then he is a friend in our books. Now, would you like the usual package, your highness?"
"No, I think we'll all have the deluxe today. My treat." Twilight turned to Ricky "Is there anything in particular you'd like to start with?"
"Gosh, I really don't know...I guess...a massage, maybe? Those caves were pretty hard to get to." Ricky shrugged.
"Very well." Lotus sighed and walked over to an intercom "One for a mas-"
CRASH!!!!!!
"YEAH!!!!!!" A ripped white Pegasus with shockingly tiny wings burst through the wall "WHO'S READY TO GET LOOSE??!!!"
"Uh...maybe I'd better start with..."
"TOO LATE!!!!!" The Schwarzenegger Pegasus threw Ricky across his back and left through the hole he made.
Aloe blushed "Sorry, your highness, Miss Rarity. We've been trying to get him to stop that.
"Maybe you ought to try harder."
***
"Wow, I have to say, that Bulk Biceps is a magician. I didn't know my back was so screwed up." Ricky lit a smoke as they made their way back to the castle.
"Well, if you can get past the macho stuff, he's a pretty nice guy." Twilight had gotten her mane styled in an 80's fashion, which Ricky felt suited her.
"Yeah, I'm meeting him for a cider tomorrow. I told him about some of the body-building competitions we had back in our world."
"I personally consider him to be a bit of a brute." Rarity huffed. Twilight groaned "Rarity, would you just let it got already? It was an accident, and you know it."
"Still, that's no excuse for spilling hoof-polish remover on a lady's robe."
They turned onto the path for the castle, and Twilight quickened her pace "You two wait in the hall, I'm gonna go check on Spike."
She entered the castle, Rarity and Ricky close behind.
"SURPRISE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Ricky stared in amazement at the large crowd of ponies that filled the castle. Rainbow Dash was talking to a white unicorn with an electric blue mane and sunglasses, while Applejack stood over by Cheerilee and a yellow Pegasus with a long, pink mane. There had to be at least 100 in total.
"Whoa, what the hell is all this?" Ricky asked Rarity.
"Oh, it's just a little get together that Pinkie Pie organized."
"A LITTLE get together?" Ricky cocked an eyebrow "Wait, how did you and Twilight even know about this? You were with me all afternoon."
"Oh, Lotus and Aloe were kind enough to fill us in on the arrangements. Come, you must meet everyone!"
As Ricky was pulled through the crowd, he was given smiles and greetings. The names flew at him left, right and center, but he figured he would be able to mingle properly.
"So? What do you think?" The pink pony from earlier appeared before him. She was bouncing up and down in excitement.
"Wow, I just...wow. So, you're Pinkie Pie, I'm guessing?"
"Ohmigosh, how did you know?!" She legitimately seemed amazed. Ricky stared at her incredulously "Call it a hunch."
"Anyway, I was SOOO amazed to see an actual human here in Ponyville, because before I've only seen them in movies and comics and whatnot. I LOVE human movies, like Human From Another World, Human From the Black Lagoon, The Human Show..." She rambled on and on, Ricky drifting in and out.
"...and THEN my boss at the bakery-that's Sugercube Corner, by the way, you should TOTALLY come by sometime. Anyway, my boss said that I've been talking way too much to the customers and ..."
"Uh huh..." Ricky thought about the joints he kept in his cigarette case, but he didn't want to risk anything right now. Fortunately, Applejack came to his rescue.
"Hey there, sugarcube! I got somepony over here I'd like ya to meet." She smiled understandingly at his distress.
"YES! I mean, okay, sure. Pinkie, it was nice to meet you, and I plan to enjoy this party to the fullest." Ricky smiled at her, secretly considering Applejack his saviour.
"Okey dokey lokey! Hey! Oat Meal!" Pinkie waved at a pony in the crowd and bounced off to see them. Applejack grinned apologetically "Sorry about that, hon. She's a real sweetheart and all, but you can only take so much of her at a time, you know?"
"Trust me, I know the type. So, who's this friend you wanted me to meet?" Ricky looked around curiously.
"Over here." The two of them approached the yellow Pegasus he had noticed earlier. She looked up at Ricky, gasped and hid behind her mane. Applejack sighed.
"Aw, nuts. Not again...oh well. Fluttershy, Ricky. Ricky, Fluttershy."
"Hello." Ricky reached out a hand, and she shrank away. Ricky looked at Applejack and shrugged "Well, I tried." he offered.
"Look, Shy, I warned ya that the human would be here. Now, I know that new people and things make you nervous as heck, but you promised me you would try to work on this, remember?" Applejack looked at her friend knowingly.
Fluttershy peeked out at Ricky "Um...h-h-hello." She whispered. Ricky smiled.
"Well, it's a start." He pulled out a joint "You still down for this, AJ?"
"Sure am. Fluttershy, why don't you come outside and sit with us? You won't feel as awkward then." The farm pony suggested. Fluttershy nodded slightly "O-o-o-okay."
The three of them made their way through the crowd, ponies making way for Ricky. Slipping out the back door, they headed to the bench under Rainbow's tree.
"Ahhh, that's better." Ricky lit up and took a few puffs, then passed it to Applejack "So, you ponies have ways of getting high too, is that right?"
"Yup. There's certain herbs and whatnot out in the Everfree Forest. The stuff you have here, we call it ponyweed." Applejack passed it back to Ricky.
"Of course you do." Ricky chuckled, then looked at Fluttershy "You feeling any better now?"
Fluttershy jumped, then nodded her head quickly "Oh, yes. The fresh air is nice." She hid back behind her mane.
"You want to try some of this stuff? It'll loosen you up."
"Oh...I-I don't know. I mean, I've never done it before." She eyed the joint curiously.
"Well, it's simple. You just take it, inhale, then pass it along." Ricky handed it to Applejack, and she did the same.
"O-o-ok then..." Fluttershy took a couple of small puffs, coughing instantly.
"Do you need a drink, hon?" Applejack asked, concerned.
"N-n-n-no, I should be fine." She tried to stand, but sat back down hard. Her eyes widened, clearly surprised. After a moment, a smile appeared on her face and she giggled.
"Oh my...That does feel nice."
"See? Makes you feel less vulnerable. Want some more?" Ricky held it out to her again, but she shook her head.
"No, I think that's enough for me. I've always had a low tolerance level for things."
Suddenly, the doors opened, and a group of ponies came out, laughing and chattering. Bulk Biceps was among them.
"YEAH!!!!!LET'S KEG IT UP!!!!!!" He grabbed a barrel of cider and started pumping it like a dumbbell. He looked over and noticed Ricky "YO!!!!!Ricky, my man!!!!!"
"Hey, how's it going, Biceps?" Ricky gave him a bro-hoof.
"Living it UP!!!!!" Bulk Biceps crowed. Fluttershy giggled at this, then hid behind her mane again. Bulk Biceps suddenly noticed she was there.
"Oh! H-hi, Fluttershy. Didn't even see you there." He spoke in a calm, surprisingly gentle voice. Ricky had watched enough daytime dramas to know what was going on here.
"Um...hello." Fluttershy seemed to shrink into herself, and Applejack smirked "Bulk, would ya like to sit? Me and Ricky here are gonna go mingle."
"YEAH!!! I mean, love to." Applejack hopped up off the bench, and Bulk Biceps took her place. It looked funny as hell to Ricky, like something out of a cartoon.
"C'mon! I see ma brother over there." Applejack led Ricky over to a large, red stallion who wore a piece of farm equipment around his neck.
"Ricky, this is ma older brother, Big Macintosh. Big Mac, this here's Ricky!"
Big Mac just eyed Ricky up and down, and said "Eeyup."
"Pleasure to meet you." Ricky stuck out a hand, and Big Mac stretched out a hoof.
"Eeyup."
"You enjoying the party?" Ricky was starting to feel awkward."
"Eeyup."
"Not much of a talker, are you?"
"Nope."
"Well, nice meeting you, I guess."
"Likewise."
Ricky was caught off guard by this last comment. Big Mac winked at his sister and gave Ricky a friendly nod, then shambled off to see Cheerilee.
"Well...that was weird." Ricky pulled out a smoke in bewilderment. Applejack just laughed "Oh, don't mind him. Once you get to know him, he never shuts up."
"Kind of like Pinkie Pie?"
"No, not as bad as her. Like I said, she's great when you can get used to her." She stopped and groaned "And then you have the ponies that you CAN'T get used to."
"What do you mean by that?" Ricky glanced around.
"There." Applejack pointed to a grey Pegasus with a blonde mane. She appeared to have knocked a keg of cider over, and several ponies reacted in annoyance.
"What's so bad about her? It was just an accident, as far as I could see."
"That's Derpy Hooves. She's really sweet and she means well, but she is an accident waiting to happen. To give you an idea, she knocked down my family's barn last week."
"Really? How did she manage to do that?" Ricky found this a tad farfetched.
"Well, she delivers the mail, you see. And she brought a package by the other day, and my granny told her to put it in the barn. Well, she closed the door a little too hard, and that knocked a nail loose, which knocked a beam loose, causing a whole other chain of reactions." Applejack sighed "I told her it was no problem, but she apologizes to me every time she sees me." As if on cue, Derpy saw Applejack and waved happily. The farm pony groaned.
"Oh. I've met the type before. Hey, what's up with her eyes?" Ricky stared at Derpy's walleyed look.
"She has a rare condition. I can't pronounce it none, but it's pretty unusual. She can see straight if she really wants to, but it takes a lot out of her. She just-oh, hiya, sugarcube!" Applejack greeted the Pegasus with forced delight.
"Oh, hi, Applejack! Listen, I just wanted to say once again how sorry I am about your barn." Derpy said sheepishly "I just don't know what went wrong..."
"Yeah, it's a mystery." Applejack muttered "Look, hon, like I said, it's no trouble. The rest of the Apple clan are coming out in a week or two to help rebuild, so don't you worry yourself about it."
"Ok, but once again, I..." But the grey Pegasus was interrupted by a loudspeaker booming from inside.
"PAGING THE HUMAN!!!" a female pony yelled "Ricky, your presence is requested indoors! It's your party, after all!!!"
"Oh, thank Celestia!" Applejack grabbed Ricky "Let's get the hay out of here!!"
Desperate to escape Derpy, Applejack raced through the doors, Ricky thrown over her back. Just before the doors closed, however:
"SORRY AGAIN!!!!!Yay! Muffins!"
Chapter 6: Organizing Affairs
"Wow...I had absolutely no idea that ponies partied that hard." Ricky was gathering up streamers while Twilight used her magic to push a mop.
"Yeah, well Pinkie Pie sure knows how to throw them." Twilight agreed "You look a little flushed, if you don't mind me saying."
"Well, it is kind of warm in here." Ricky tossed the streamers in the trashcan and paused to remove his hoodie. Twilight gasped suddenly.
"Oh...my...humans DO have cutie marks!"
"Uh...come again?" Ricky glanced at himself, puzzled. Then his eyes fell on the flaming guitar tattooed on his bicep "OH! You mean my ink."
"Ink?" Twilight shook her head "So...does that signify your special talent?"
"Talent? Well, I do play the guitar, but it's not really my special talent. Many other people play too. Why, is that what these 'cutie mark' things are supposed to do?" Ricky glanced at the picture on her flank.
"Yep. I'm an advanced magic user, so my cutie mark signifies that. Fluttershy is a nature expert, so her cutie mark is a trio of butterflies."
"Ok, I'm starting to get it. By the way, what's with Fluttershy? Did something happen to her at some point in her life?" Ricky sat down and pulled out a smoke, pushing a window open as he did.
"No, she just has a real confidence issue. For instance, she's an amazing singer, but she has horrible stage fright." Twilight shook her head and sighed "It's really sad, actually."
"She's a wallflower, like me. I'm nowhere near as shy as her, but the last thing I hate is being the center of attention. That's why I quit my old band, because I couldn't handle the live performances."
"Oh, so you were a professional musician?" Twilight asked eagerly.
Ricky shook his head "Not really. We couldn't even play one show, because I would freeze up and couldn't play."
"You know, if you're into music and are going to be in town for a while, I think I might know the perfect place for you to work." Twilight mused.
"Really? That would be awesome, earn some money while I'm here. The last thing I want to do is sponge off somebody."
"Well, I'll tell you what. You go catch some sleep, and tomorrow we'll go down and see Vinyl." Twilight used her magic to open the guest bedroom beside the stairs. "Get rested, alright? We have a big day ahead of us tomorrow."
"Alright then, Twilight. Again, thanks for everything so far. I'll make it up to you as quickly as possible." Ricky said.
Twilight just smiled "Good night, Ricky."
***
"So, this guy's really serious about wanting to work here, eh?" Vinyl Scratch eyed Ricky with interest. The HoofBeats manager was secretly pleased with the latest job applicant.
"Oh, yes. He promises that he'll be here each and every day, on time, wide awake and ready to go!" Twilight said excitedly, turning to smile at Ricky, who stood uncomfortably.
"That's great and all, Princess, but I wanna hear it from the man himself." Vinyl lowered her shades and stared at them with vibrant red eyes.
"Uh...what she said?" Ricky asked nervously. Vinyl was stunned "That...is exactly what I would have said. Well played...you're hired, man."
"Really? Just like that?" Ricky was surprised "Huh. That's odd."
Vinyl looked at him, then at Twilight "Uh...how else was I gonna give you a job? I mean, you walked in, Twilight vouched and I hired you."
"Oh, ok. It's just that in the human world, it's at least a five day process. I mean, you gotta bring in a resume, then you gotta wait for your first phone call...if you even get one."
Vinyl looked baffled "What the hay is a phone call?"
It was Ricky's turn to look baffled "Seriously? You ponies don't have phones out here? I mean, you have castles made out of crystals, you communicate by DRAGON FIRE...hell, you clearly have electricity, how else do you get those instruments to work?"
"Um...I AM a unicorn. I just use magic." Vinyl seemed a little hurt. Ricky sighed "Sorry about that. I mean, the phone has been accessible to humans for well over a hundred years now. It actually has at least twenty functions now. Here." He pulled out his Samsung Galaxy, and Vinyl and Twilight oooohed at it.
"Wow...It's like a tiny mirror! Say, what does this do?" Twilight pressed the volume control, causing it to vibrate. She yelped and leaped backwards.
"That's the volume button. Here, watch this." Ricky picked it up, opened his music player and selected some King Diamond, cranking the volume way up. Ten seconds later, Vinyl was headbanging while Twilight was on the ground covering her ears.
"As you can see, it also plays music." Ricky hit pause to give the ponies a moment. Twilight shook her head, somewhat in shock.
"THAT was music?!" Twilight asked "That sounded like a dragon fight!"
"That was known as European Metal." Ricky explained "You've gotta be really angry, apparently. Here, this might be more your speed."
He selected "Feeling Groovy" by Simon and Garfunkel. Twilight seemed to enjoy it better than King Diamond, even humming along with the 'la la la' part.
"Huh...Ricky, I can see that you and I are gonna get along just fine. So, seeing as it's Saturday, do you think you can start Monday? Give you a chance to get settled." Vinyl said, holding out a hoof. Ricky grasped it happily "Trust me, you won't be disappointed."
"Well now, this is just perfect!" Twilight said excitedly "We've got you a job, now all we need to do is find you a place to live!"
"Really? Gee, I don't think I can quite afford that just yet." Ricky said honestly "I could find a motel or something in the meantime..."
"NO!" Vinyl said quickly. Ricky and Twilight stared at her until she blushed "I mean...the only motel is the Beats Motel. Twilight, you remember Cadence's bachelorette party?"
"Ugh...that Norman Beats is so creepy, and he does overcharge." Twilight agreed with an air of disgust.
"We never did get to meet his mother, did we?"
"OK! So, no Norman Beats then. Great!" Ricky said with forced delight, but was secretly trying to remember why that last exchange sounded so familiar.
"Alright then...how about Applejack?" Vinyl suggested. Twilight shook her head "No, I don't think so. I mean, I spent a weekend there last summer, and I gotta tell you...no privacy with that family."
"Good point." The two ponies dwelled it over in their minds. Ricky decided that this was the ideal time to grab a smoke.
"I'll just be a moment then, ok?" He tried getting their attentions, but Twilight just waved him off. Shrugging, Ricky stepped outside.
"Yo! Slim!" Ricky glanced up and saw Bulk Biceps coming towards him "I see you've met Vinyl, then."
"Yeah, nice girl. She just gave me a job, actually." Ricky lit up. Bulk Biceps slapped him hard on the back, pitching him to the ground.
"YEAH!!! SUCCESS!!! YEAH!!!!!" Bulk roared, then quickly collected himself "Sorry, brother. I've been working on that."
"All goods. So, yeah, I'll be starting in there on Monday. The only thing left for me to do now is find a place to crash, and I'm gold."
Bulk stared at him for a sec, and then started barking with laughter "Dude, why didn't you just say so? I've been living in a two bedroom rent free for the past five years!"
"Wha...rent free? How in the hell do you manage to do that?" Ricky was shocked at this.
"To be honest, I'll never figure that one out." Bulk mused, flexing as he did so. Mystery solved "So, whaddaya say? You in or out?"
"Dude, I was there the moment you said rent free." Ricky could not believe his luck. He glanced at Twilight and Vinyl, who seemed to have forgotten about him.
"YEAH!!!!!!CELEBRATORY CIDER!!!!!" Bulk Biceps charged into what looked like a tavern. Ricky watched him go, smirked, and followed him.
"Well, here I am. New job, new home, new life, new friends." Ricky paused at the door to the tavern and reflected on what he was leaving behind: A professor who tormented him, a talent he couldn't exploit and no help or support from his so-called family and friends.
"Score." Content, Ricky entered the tavern and headed to where Bulk Biceps sat.
Chapter 7: The Rusty Horseshoe
"Hey, it's the human!"
As soon as Ricky entered the bar, he was instantly set upon by a large welcoming committee "Whoa...easy, folks..." he stammered, and the group of ponies backed up.
"YO! OVER HERE!!!" Bulk Biceps was sitting at a table in the corner, a glass of cider in front of him. Gratefully, Ricky made his way over.
"ONE CIDER FOR MY ROOMIE HERE!!" Bulk roared as Ricky sat down. The bar was full of ponies drinking, playing darts. There was even a karaoke stage. Barmares made their way around, taking orders and bringing them. Ricky could see Cheerilee sitting with Pinkie Pie. Not in the mood for an ambush, Ricky held a menu in front of his face.
"Wow, I had no idea that ponies had human-style bars." Ricky mused. Bulk seemed fascinated by this "No way, really? So, you like, shoot pool and pick up chicks and whatnot?" A couple of mares walked by and glared at his remark, but then one of them gave Ricky a surprise wink. Bulk whistled.
"Whoa-ho, looks like Lyra's checking you out, brother!" he laughed, making Ricky blush "Dude, come on. She's a unicorn, I'm a human. Think of how disgusting that would be."
"Whatever man. I think she's a looker, myself. YO! WHAT'S GOING ON WITH THAT CIDER?!" Bulk roared.
A purple earth pony with a raspberry colored mane came up to the table "As always, you don't have to shout, Biceps! I can hear you just fine." She rolled her eyes and gave Ricky a sweet smile "Welcome to the Rusty Horseshoe, what can I get for you?"
"Well...I guess the cider's supposed to be delicious, so I'll take one of those." The waitress pony nodded and headed off to the bar. Bulk Biceps whistled as she walked away "Man, that Berry Punch. She is a fine mare, I have to say."
"I couldn't say. Besides, I thought you had a thing for Fluttershy." Ricky leaned back in his seat to avoid Bulk Biceps' spit take.
"W-what? Whatever gave you that idea, bro?" The buff Pegasus stammered in reply. Ricky rolled his eyes "Oh, please. I might be a pothead, but I'm no idiot. I recognize crushing when I see it."
"Well...ok, so I might think she's cute, but who doesn't?" Bulk tried desperately to plead his case, but Ricky wasn't buying it for a second.
"Oh, come on. You're not fooling me at all. I can tell when a guy has a thing for a chick."
Bulk Biceps sighed "Ok already. You see....she came into the spa one day, and she....she was just so nice to me, no matter how clumsy I was. Then we ended up representing Ponyville together in a big relay, and...I dunno, man, what do you think I should do?"
"Dude, just ask her out. Simple. Oh, thank you." Berry Punch set his drink down. Ricky took a sip, widened his eyes and then took a huge gulp.
"God damn, that is delicious as hell!"
Berry Punch giggled "It ought to be. The Apple family's been making the finest cider this side of Equestria for years."
"Applejack, eh? I'll have to try and score a barrel of this stuff. What do I owe you?" Ricky then realized he was tapped out.
"It's on the house, hon. I'll bring a pitcher on over." She headed on back to the bar. A moment later, Cheerilee got up on the karaoke stage.
"Oh, great. Here we go again." Bulk Biceps groaned "Every week, a new karaoke contest, and every week a bunch of drunken idiots who can't sing."
"Huh. Sounds like the bars at ho- wait, so this cider's alcoholic?" Ricky was surprised at that.
"Course. Why else would they serve it in a bar?"
"Huh. Goes down smooth." Ricky turned his attention back to the stage. Cheerilee tapped the mike with her hoof, and got some bad feedbag, a chorus of groans and boos arising.
"Oh, shut up. It always happens! Ok everypony, are you ready to sing?" The schoolteacher sounded a tad tipsy.
"No!" A voice rang out in the crowd, and got some laughs. Cheerilee glared in their direction.
"I know that was you, Letrotski! Well, I guess we're gonna be kicking it off with our reigning champion, Pinkie P-" Pinkie was already onstage before Cheerilee could finish.
"Oh my gosh, I just LOVE being the karaoke champion!" The pink party pony squealed "But then again, it was kind of inevitable that I would become the champion, seeing as I'm usually the only one who actually sings at this competition!"
"Cause it's lame, man!" the voice rang out again. Cheerilee groaned and took the mike back from Pinkie.
"No, it is NOT 'lame'. Just not very...exciting, really." She scanned the crowd, desperate to find someone, and happened to see Ricky. Her face lit up with relief.
"What's that, Ricky? You said you wanted to sing?"
Ricky desperately shook his head no, knowing that even if he wanted to, he didn't know any pony music. He pulled out his phone and pretended to text. His phone....that gave him an idea.
"You know what, I happen to have some human music here in my pocket. What do you think, do you guys want to hear something different for once?" Ricky stood up, and all the ponies cheered.
"All I need is a large empty container to amplify the music."
"You're in luck. Keg's empty!" Berry Punch rolled the empty barrel out from behind the bar, and Ricky ran over to take it from her.
"Perfect. Anyone wanna give me a hand with this thing?" Two stallions came to his aide. After a moment of awkward direction, the barrel was on stage.
Ricky rifled through his playlist, and then he found the perfect song. He took the mike from Cheerilee, placed his phone inside the barrel and then hit play.
Heavy drumbeats began to pulse forth, followed by a wailing guitar intro. The ponies in the bar were stunned at this, as if they had never heard music before. Pinkie was staring intently at him, waiting for him to begin. After he gave a mental count, he took a deep breath and sang hard.
"Slooooow ride....Take it easyyyyy. Sloooooow ride.....Take it easyyyyyy....." His voice wasn't perfect, but it had the rasp required to make the song sound decent at least. Pinkie stepped back, impressed.
"I'm in the moooood......the rhythm is riiiiight....grooooove to the music.....we can roll all night......" Ponies began to bob their heads to the music, some of them even up and dancing.
Wow, Ricky thought to himself. This cider is really helping my stage fright!
"YEAH!!!!!!!!" Bulk Biceps roared.
"Sloooow ride.....Easy.......Slow ride.....Sleazy.....!" The song wasn't a long one, but when he had finished, Ricky was stunned at the positive response.
"Um...." Pinkie was confused "Should I still sing?" Cheerilee just glared at her and shook her head. Pinkie bounced off happily, whistling "Slow Ride" as she went.
"Ladies and gentlecolts, I think we finally have a new champion...Ricky!!!" Cheerilee crowed happily, sloshing cider everywhere.
"Thanks! Wow...I didn't think I could actually pull this off!" Ricky was stunned at everypony chanting his name "Just...I have no idea what to say...I-"
Then, a lone voice was heard over the crowd:
"My, so the legends ARE true! Humans ARE fun!"
The entire bar fell silent at this. Ricky stared as a tall, white Alicorn with a long, flowing, multi-hued mane entered the room, flanked by stallions dressed as gladiators.
"Y-y-y-y-y-your highness!" Cheerilee stuttered.
Oh, okay, Ricky thought to himself.
WAIT, WHAT?! YOUR HIGHNESS?!
Chapter 8: A Friend of the Royal Family
"You there, human!" One of the guard stallions, a large, white unicorn, came up to Ricky "Under requirement of Equestrian law, you are to bow, curtsy or perform some other form of acknowledgement when her Royal Highness Princess Celestia...!" But the princess interrupted him.
"Enough, Shining Armor. He's new here, so he clearly does not know." Princess Celestia frowned at the guard, and he stepped back, .
"Yes. Um...I'm sorry, but I've never even met a royal human before. I'm REALLY kind of afraid to move or speak, your highness." Ricky stood straight as a pole. Celestia giggled at this.
"As much as I love making ponies feel uncomfortable, I'll cut you a break this time." Celestia used her magic to pull out a chair at Ricky's table and sat down "Please, Ricky, have a seat."
Ricky sat down, but couldn't face the princess. He glanced over at Bulk Biceps, hoping for some kind of backup on this one, but the buff Pegasus had gone up to the bar.
"Please, don't be so nervous. I'm not THAT kind of a princess. I mean, I AM a princess, of course, but I'm much more relaxed than say, my sister is." Celestia shook her head "A lovely girl, but she really needs to loosen up once in a while."
"I've got a teacher back home who is the exact same way. He's kind of a dick. Look, I'm sorry to ask, but is it alright if I smoke in your presence? I'm REALLY nervous right now." Ricky drummed his fingers on the table. Celestia was surprised "Whatever made you think you needed my permission? Please, do whatever makes you feel better."
"Thanks." Ricky lit up gratefully.
"It is quite alright. Now, I understand that you were first encountered by Miss Cheerilee and her class in the Everfree Caves, is that correct?" Celestia asked. Ricky tried his hardest not to groan. He was a tad sick of relaying his story over and over again "Yes, that's right." he said.
"I see. And according to Twilight, you were with a tour group of fellow humans, when you snuck off down a side tunnel to get a little peace." Celestia shook her head and sighed. Ricky was confused at this "Is there something wrong?"
"You see...those tunnels are sort of...teleportation devices. Are you familiar with the concept?" Celestia asked.
"Somewhat. Our government has been trying to perfect it for decades. Why, how does this all tie in?"
"Well, years ago, one of our teleportation tunnels connected with the human world. At first, we were amazed at what you humans had accomplished, and how your societies functioned. However, we also were subjected to the negative aspects as well. War, for instance. Political scandals." Celestia sighed, and Ricky poured her a glass of cider. Thanking him, she took a sip and continued "I had ordered all of the tunnels to henceforth be sealed, lest we behold what horrors the other worlds would have to offer. However, somehow, a simple human was able to break through powerful Alicorn magic." She gave Ricky a very impressed look.
"Actually...I think anyone would have been able to, seeing as magic is non existent in my world. To us, it would still be a tunnel." Ricky offered. Celestia stared at him, surprised.
"That...makes perfect sense. Why did I not SEE this before?" she mused, clearly amazed at what Ricky had pointed out. She then realized that he was still sitting there, and then quickly composed herself "But, please, accept our deepest apologies. I will do everything in my power to help you to return home."
"Yeah...about that. I'm staying here." Celestia once again stared at him in surprise, but she was secretly pleased.
"Are you sure you want to do that?" the Princess asked, sipping her drink "I mean, you would be entering a whole new way of life. Things are going to be very, very different from what you are used to. You would be leaving your life behind. Is that acceptable for you?"
"Yep. My old life back home was far below acceptable. Here, I've already gotten a job, and Bulk Biceps just offered me his spare bedroom." Ricky said "I can already tell that I'm right where I belong."
"Wonderful! Where will you be employed?" Celestia seemed very impressed.
"At the music shop with Vinyl Scratch. Twilight recommended me for..." Ricky's voice trailed off "Oh, shit! I forgot about Twilight!"
"What did you forget about her?" Celestia was very amused by Ricky's outbursts.
"I left her back at the music store...it's been a while now." Ricky seemed very embarrassed at this. Celestia just laughed "Oh, please, that pony will be just fine. In fact, I believe I see her outside, do I not?"
"Huh? Really?" Ricky glanced out the window. Sure enough Twilight and Vinyl were outside, looking around.
"Yes. You'd think they would notice my royal carriage...parked RIGHT out front." Celestia rolled her eyes. Outside, Twilight noticed the carriage, seemed to squeal with glee and ran to the bar, Vinyl close behind.
"Princess!" Twilight burst in happily. A moment later, Vinyl appeared, huffing and puffing.
"Ah, Twilight. Come, join us!" Celestia pulled out another seat. Twilight went came and sat down, while Vinyl headed to the bar.
"I see you've already met Ricky, then. Wonderful, isn't he?" Twilight gushed, making Ricky feel awkward again. Celestia thought this was a tad odd herself "Well, he's nothing special...no offense, Ricky...however, I can tell he is the friendly type of person who will fit right in with Ponyville!"
"Agreed. I really don't want to be treated any differently. Can we make that happen?" Ricky asked, and Celestia nodded.
"But of course. If you are a friend of Twilight Sparkle's, then you are a friend of mine. And NOPONY messes with a member of the royal family. Now, I would like to offer you a very special welcoming gift." Celestia used her magic to make two golden tickets appear.
Twilight gasped "Are those...Grand Galloping Gala tickets?" She turned to Ricky excitedly "You are soooo lucky! I mean, it's only the largest, fanciest ball in all of Equestria. Oh, I wish I was able to go..."
"Twilight...you are a princess now. YOUR presence is mandatory." Celestia sighed "However, so as to avoid the disaster of LAST time...I offer tickets to each of your friends. And Spike, of course."
"Oh, Princess, thank you! I'll-"
Suddenly, a large crash came from over by the bar. Bulk Biceps was trying to stand up, but he was obviously too wasted. Ricky groaned "Well, seeing as I'm going to be living with him, I better be the one to drag him home." He pocketed the tickets and bowed to the Princesses "Again, you have my full gratitude. If you ever need anything from me, please don't hesitate to ask."
"Again, it was a pleasure to meet you, Ricky. I do hope your friend makes it home in one piece..." Celestia gave Ricky a polite nod.
"Pleasure was all mine, Princess. Twilight, is it ok if I drop by the castle tomorrow? I wouldn't mind apologizing to Spike."
"Of course! I'm sure he'll greatly appreciate it." Twilight smiled at Ricky, who hoisted Bulk Biceps onto his shoulders, nearly blacking out from the weight. The two stallions from before came up and each took a leg on their backs. Giving the royalty a final nod, the makeshift cab service hauled Bulk Biceps out into the cold, night air.
"Wait...I don't even know where the hell we live!" Ricky huffed.
"Ohhhh.....'s over there...." Bulk waved his hoof in a figure eight, and one of the other stallions groaned.
"He lives next to Sugarcube Corner, it's about two blocks from here." The stallion said "If we jog, our backs won't be that sore."
"How ironic, with him being a masseuse and all." The other stallion said sarcastically.
The three of them hurried along, stopping once for Bulk Biceps to get the dry heaves, then finally they were outside a two story white house.
"Ugh...well, here you go, Man." The first stallion wiped sweat off his blonde goatee, and the second wiped off his sunglasses.
"Thanks...hey, I recognize your voice...You're that Letrotski, aren't you?" Ricky quietly cheered as Bulk got the door open on the first try.
"Oh yeah, like, sorry, man. Forgot the old manners and all. This here's Walter." He motioned to his heavyset friend, who gave a curt nod.
"Again, thanks a lot, guys. I'll see what I can do to make it up to you guys." Rick said gratefully. Letrotski chuckled.
"Well, whatever you have rolled up in your pocket smells find to me."
It took Ricky a second to understand, then it clicked "OH! You want to smoke...oh, ok then." These ponies were starting to surprise him more and more. As Ricky prepared to light up, the cry of an eagle rang out.
"Hey! An eagle. You don't hear those too often." Ricky noted. Letrotski sighed heavily and replied:
"I fucking HATE eagles, man."
Chapter 9: A Day With Spike, pt.1
"Twilight, are you absolutely 100% sure that Spike isn't angry with what me?" Ricky said anxiously, glancing up at the stairs. He was sitting in the living room of the castle, sipping coffee with Twilight.
"Positive. He's a little nervous about finally meeting you, but when I told him that dragons were big and scary in your world, he seemed to cheer up." Twilight replied, glancing at the clock "Again, I think he's going to enjoy spending the day with you."
"Are you sure we should? I mean, I barely know the guy. And we didn't exactly get off on the right foot."
"Oh, trust me. Once you two find something you both like, he becomes your best friend." Twilight turned and yelled "SPIKE!! It's 8:30!!!"
A door slammed, and Ricky heard light footsteps. Spike the dragon came waddling down the stairs, yawning as he did so.
"I don't see why you're so anxious to wake me up all of a sudden..." he groaned "You didn't exactly make a big deal out of it the other day when that human knocked me out!"
Twilight sighed "First of all, you were knocked out because you FAINTED. Ricky had nothing to do with it. Besides, I LET you sleep because I was concerned for YOUR health!"
"Ok, ok. Look, I don't even know why I fainted because of some dumb human. I mean, being a dragon, I..." Spike trailed off as he stared at Ricky "Oh...I didn't mean to..."
"Hey, don't worry about it. I don't get insulted very easily. How's your head today?" Ricky leaned forward and stuck out a hand. Spike paused a moment before slowly taking it.
"Better..."
"Look, I'm sorry for scaring you like that the other day. I felt real bad about it, so I thought I would come by and see if I could make it up to you somehow." Ricky took a sip of coffee and set his mug down.
"Oh! Well...that sounds fun and all, but don't you want to, I don't know, settle in a bit more?" Spike glanced at Twilight, who fixed him with a stern glare.
"No, actually I need to get out for a few hours anyhow, seeing as my roommate currently has a major hangover. So, what do you say? You could show me some of your favorite things about Ponyville." Ricky winked at Twilight "I mean, things must be FASCINATING from a dragon's perspective."
That seemed to catch Spike's attention "Really? You really want to know how fun a dragon can be?" he said excitedly "I'd be happy to show you!"
Spike ran back upstairs, and Twilight stared at Ricky in amazement "Wow...I can't believe that you were able to convince Spike so easily!" she said, genuinely impressed "I mean, he has such a hard time making friends and all..."
"It wasn't that hard. I hung out with some real idiots back home, and with them it only took a few well placed words." Ricky shrugged. Spike entered the room wearing a backpack with what looked like a superhero logo emblazoned on it.
"Spike, I'm so glad that you've decided to do this. I mean, it's good for you to get out and socialize, instead of being cooped up all the time reading comic books and dreaming about Rar-" Twilight said, but Spike cut her off.
"Ok, Ricky doesn't need to hear any of this, Twilight!" Spike said quickly, grabbing Ricky's hand and pulling him to the main doors.
"I don't?" Ricky was a tad confused.
"I'll tell you outside..." Spike whispered, which only peaked Ricky's curiosity more.
"Oh! Spike, would you do me a favor and stop by the stationary store? I'm running out of ink." Twilight asked, levitating a moneybag over to the little dragon.
"Happy to. Bye now!" Spike grabbed the bag and shoved Ricky out the door, leaving a perplexed Twilight behind.
"Phew...that was close." Spike said, placing the moneybag in his backpack "She almost gave my secret away."
"What, reading comics, or fantasizing about Rarity?" Ricky asked innocently, pulling out a joint and lighting up "Because there's no need to be ashamed about reading comics...unless you're a fan of Archie."
"Who's Archie? Is he some kind of...wait, how do you know about Rarity?!" Spike squealed, jumping in shock. Ricky rolled his eyes in annoyance.
"Dude, Twilight already let the cat out of the bag back there. No point in you trying to cover that up. The only question is, aren't you a tad young to be worrying about this kind of stuff? I mean, she's gotta be at LEAST 15 years older than you, for one." Ricky puffed away.
"Well, yeah, she is, but...I don't know, she's the sweetest, most giving person I have ever met. I mean, she would bend over backwards to make somebody happy."
"I knew a girl who would do that, but you had to get her good and drunk first." Ricky snorted at his own joke, while Spike stared at him in bewilderment.
"Sorry. Adult humor." Ricky took a toke again, and put it for later "I'm gonna have to ask Applejack where to find this stuff later."
"What?"
"Never mind. So, does Rarity know how you feel?" Ricky asked, and Spike sighed "Yeah, she knows, alright. But she treats it like it's a schoolyard crush, you know?"
"Yeah. I was never really one for relationships, myself. I'd date a girl here and there, but it usually got stale pretty fast. Conflicting ideas and whatnot. But, you should go for it."
"How do you mean?" Spike asked "I mean, I can't just walk up to her and outright tell her that I love her. Then it would be extremely awkward, Pinkie Pie would find out and tell everypony and then I would look like a big idiot and never be able to show my face in Ponyville again!" Dejectedly, he sat down on the stoop of a nearby shop.
Ricky was stunned "Uh...I was gonna say ask her to that Gala thing. Princess Celestia hooked us all up with tickets last night." He sat down beside Spike.
"Oh..." Spike momentarily blushed, but shook it off "Hey...that's a great idea! She'll be too busy having fun to want to bother with something like that."
"I know that. I can read people like a book. You're gonna do fine, buddy." Ricky smiled, then glanced at the sign above the shop "Wait a minute...you have a comic book store here?!"
"Yep! I've been waiting for the latest issue of Power Ponies to come out for ages." Spike said excitedly "So humans have comic books too, then?"
"That's an understatement..." Ricky said, growing more interested every second "I gotta see this."
Without another word, Ricky nearly ran into the shop. Spike laughed at this, and then he remembered something.
"Hey! Wait! You never told me who Archie was!" Spike ran after his new friend.
Chapter 10: A Day WIth Spike, pt.2
"Wow..." Ricky stared, stunned. There were rows upon rows of comics, cutouts of various superponies in ridiculous poses. About 10 or so stallions hung around, browsing through comics and bickering back and forth. Suddenly, they all realized that Ricky was there, and stared at him, unaware of how to react.
"Dude...what should I do? They're creeping me out..." Ricky whispered out of the corner of his mouth. Spike rolled his eyes "At ease, gentleman. What's the big deal, anyway?"
"Well, for starters, none of us have ever been in the presence of an interdimensional traveller before in our lives." A skinny unicorn with large front teeth and a bowl haircut said, walking up to the new arrivals "Greetings, human. My name is Role Player."
"What, seriously?" Ricky smirked. Role Player narrowed his eyes "Are you implying that there are humorous references contained within my name?"
"No, sorry. I just find everything in this town is pretty specific. Anyhow, name's Ricky." He stuck out a hand, and Role Player studied it. A heavyset Earth pony wearing a Power Ponies t-shirt and a greasy ponytail walked up to them.
"Dang it, Role Player, give the poor fella some room, would ya?" the fat nerd pony said with annoyance, and Role Player backed up.
"Sorry, fella. He tends to overanalyze things. Welcome to the Stable of Justice, name's Mint Condition. And a howdy to you too, Spike!" Mint was a lot less in-your-face than Role Player was, and had a jolly air about him.
"Hey, Mint! Is that new issue in yet?" Spike took off his backpack and removed a comic bag. Mint Condition guffawed "Every month, you come on the same day, and get the same answer. That tell you anything, son?" He gave Spike a raised eyebrow.
"YES!!!" Spike gave a happy jump, and ran to a "New Releases" rack. Mint looked at Ricky "You a comic reader yourself?"
"Oh, yeah. I had a huge collection back home. Wouldn't mind trying to get them back, actually...do you have anything I might like?" Ricky asked. Mint looked him up and down and racked his brain, and then he smiled "Yep. Follow me over here."
They walked past a table where four stallion nerds were playing a "Magic" type card game. Ricky was curious as to what it was, but he knew better than to ask. The last thing he needed was to get sucked into a long lecture.
"Here we are...'Mysterious Mare Do Well'!" Mint Condition selected a couple of comics with a pony dressed in a Batman-style getup "I think you'll enjoy these. It's about a wealthy alicorn mare who fights crime at night. I also think you'll enjoy 'Daring Do'. Lot of great jungle action in these."
"Cool. I'm definitely coming back in here as soon as I get a chance." Ricky tucked the comics under his arm and followed Mint Condition up to the counter. Spike was already waiting with a pile of his own.
"Okay, gentlemen, comes to...25 bits total." Mint rang up the amount, and then Ricky suddenly remembered that he was flat broke. Spike noticed this and held up a hand "Don't worry, Rick, I got this."
"Thanks. I'll pay you back as soon as I start work." Ricky said gratefully. Mint passed their bags across the counter, and handed them each a package of 'Mystery Cards'.
"New promo, Mint?" Spike asked. Mint nodded "Yep. Comic Roundup is approaching, so they're giving away special booster packs."
"Cool..." Ricky stuck his in his pocket "Well, it was great meeting you, man. I'll definitely be popping by again."
"Pleasure's all mine. You boys take care, alright?"
The pair of them thanked him again, and bid farewell to the other patrons. Then they stepped out into the hot afternoon sun.
***
"So, let me get this straight," Spike set his cherry milkshake down. The two of them were sitting at the counter in Sugarcube Corner "Superman's weak to this krypto....kryptid...."
"Kryptonite." Ricky said, stirring his root beer float "Go on."
"Green Lantern is weak to a color...wait, how does that make sense?" Spike asked, baffled.
"Got me. And finally, everyone can kick Aquaman's ass." Ricky finished.
"Huh. Human superheroes are weird." Spike shook his head "Man, I got to say, today was great. Thanks again for suggesting it."
"Hey, no problem. I'm glad I was able to check the town out." RIcky stretched, and his spine cracked. Spike yawned and glanced at the clock on the wall "Wow, look at the time. I gotta get Twilight's ink before the store closes." He hopped down and threw a few bits on the table.
"All goods. My place is close by, I can make it home in one piece. Hey, remember what I said about you-know-what, okay?"
"Got it. Have a good one, man!" Spike waved happily and headed out the door. Ricky smiled, drained his drink and pulled out a smoke. He yawned, stood up and slowly made his way out.
Glancing up at the sky, he figured he'd take the long way home, being a warm night and all. Lighting up, he began to walk, when suddenly...
"LOOK OUT!!!!!!!!!!" Ricky jumped, turned to see what the noise was, and was hit right in the chest. His smoke went flying out of his mouth, along with what his breath. He fell to the ground, gasping.
"Uh...sorry?" Rainbow Dash stood over him, looking anxious. Ricky took a few gulps of air, and grabbed Rainbow's outstretched hoof.
"Jesus...why were you flying so fast?!" Ricky picked up his smoke.
"Cause I can." Rainbow said bluntly "Why were you just standing there?"
"Cause I was."
"Touche. Well, sorry about that, anyway. It was an honest accident." Rainbow said "So what are you up to, anyhow?"
"I was just gonna take a walk, why?" Ricky re-lit his smoke.
"Well, I'm headed over to Rarity's for a bit, and there's gonna be cider and whatnot. You in?"
"Sure, I'm wide awake." Ricky started walking, Rainbow taking the lead.
Soon they came upon a large building that looked like a carousel. Ricky pitched his smoke while Rainbow knocked on the door. A moment later, Rarity opened it, her face lighting up.
"Ah, hello, you two!" Rarity said happily Please, come in!" Stepping aside, she waited for them to enter before closing the door.
Chapter 11: Carousel At Night
The inside of the building was clearly some kind of fashion studio, with pony mannequins, sewing machines and other seamstress-related items. Most of these had been pushed off to the side, though, with ornate tables containing bottles of cider and other party favors.
"Ladies!" Rarity announced, and the other mares in the room looked at her "I hope you don't mind, but Rainbow Dash has brought company with her. May I introduce Ricky, Equestria's first and only human?"
"Oh! Hey, Randy!" Derpy Hooves waved from over in the corner, and Rainbow rolled her eyes.
"Ricky, actually. How's it going, Derpy?"
"Pretty good. I came with Lyra and Bon Bon."
Ricky knew he had heard the name before, and thought for a moment "Wait...weren't you that unicorn in the bar last night? The one that-" but Lyra interrupted him "Oh, that! Sorry, I was a little tipsy when I walked by you guys. I'm a bit of a human enthusiast, myself. I just wasn't expecting to see you at a singles bar, so I thought I'd humor you a bit."
"Really? So...wait, that was a singles bar?!" Ricky was surprised and slightly disgusted at the thought a human and a pony...he sat down on the couch in a daze.
"I'm gonna kick the shit out of you, Biceps..." he muttered, but the moment passed. Meanwhile, Lyra's blue maned Earth pony friend walked up to him.
"Hi, name's Bon Bon. I'm Lyra's roommate. So, how are you liking Ponyville so far?" she asked, joining Ricky on the couch.
"Well, so far, I've been enjoying myself. Everyone's at least ten times nicer than the people back in my world, and I'm amazed at how great the job market is."
"BOOOO-ring. Here, get this into you, dude." Rainbow stuck a bottle of cider into his hand, then tossed one over to Derpy, who nearly dropped it "I can't get it open..." she said, slightly annoyed.
"Here, let me." Ricky used his lighter to pop the top off their bottles, and the others appeared to be impressed at this.
"That's pretty cool. Where did you learn that?" Rainbow asked. Ricky thought for a moment, then shrugged again "Honestly, I have absolutely no idea. I probably saw it in a movie or something."
"Well, it's unique regardless. Can you do anything else?" Rarity asked, sipping her cider.
"Really? God, I don't know...not unless any of you know who Elvis was." Ricky offered, but was met with blank stares "Never mind, then. I got nothing. How about you, Rarity? Why don't you show us something?"
"Oh my...I think I have a marvelous idea..." Rarity was already looking a little tipsy "I think we ought to have a pony-human game of Truth or Dare!"
"What? Oh, hell no!"
"YES!" Lyra said, while Bon Bon rolled her eyes. Derpy tried to inch out of the room, but Rainbow got her by the tail "Oh, no you don't, Hooves! You've skipped out every time, but not tonight!"
"I can't believe I'm actually doing this..." Ricky moaned, sitting between Lyra and Rarity, who took a huge gulp of cider and said "Right, so I believe that we ought to go clockwise, here...so, Ricky: Truth or Dare?"
"Oh, great...ok, truth, I guess." Ricky planned to sneak out for a toke the first opportunity he got.
"Right...so, back home, was the most embarrassing thing you ever did at school?" Rarity asked. Ricky groaned "Oh, Christ....well, I was in the school library, and I had my cell phone sitting on the table in front of me, right?" he took a sip, and the others nodded.
"Well, I thought that it was on silent mode, but turns out it was on maximum volume, and I...well, let's just say that my ringtone wasn't exactly appropriate." Ricky sighed. Rainbow rolled her eyes "Oh, come on, how was that embarrassing? That's pretty-"
"ASSHOLE CALLING!!!! ASSHOOOOOOLE CALLING!!!!!!!" Ricky played his ringtone for her. Rainbow stared, stunned, and then began laughing her ass off. After a moment, the sight of her rolling around got Lyra, then Bon-Bon going.
"I don't get it..." Derpy said, which made the others laugh even harder.
"Okay, then...Lyra, truth or dare?" Ricky turned to the green unicorn. Lyra thought for a moment, and then chose dare.
"I dare you to..." Ricky racked his brain, and then his eyes fell on the snack table, where a bottle of hot sauce sat "...take a shot of that hot sauce over there!"
"What?! No way, man! I changed my mind." Lyra tried to back out, but Bon-Bon and Rainbow held her down while Ricky got the spicy condiment.
"Sorry. Dare's a dare." Ricky opened the bottle and approached the struggling unicorn.
"Why do we even have hot sauce here?!" Lyra whined, screaming as Ricky took the opportunity to drop some into her mouth.
"Oh, yeah! I brought nachos!" Derpy said happily. Rainbow howled with laughter at this.
"I changed my mind about humans! They royally suck!" Lyra broke free and ran into the kitchen, the sink going full blast.
"Oh, man, that was rich." Bon-Bon wiped tears away while Rainbow writhed on the floor. Lyra came back into the room and sat, glaring at her best friend.
"Alright then, Bon-Bon! Truth or dare?" Lyra asked, shooting a dirty look over at Ricky, who glanced away.
"Oh, fine...dare."
"I dare you to kiss Ricky on the lips!" Bon-Bon turned beet red at this, while Ricky tried to comprehend what he just heard.
"Hey! What did I do to you?" Bon-Bon asked, to which Lyra smirked and said "You helped Ricky with his dare, he can help you with yours."
"My, darling, I had no idea you were so...bad!" Rarity was pretty tipsy by now, sloshing cider on the rug.
"Hey, don't I get a say in this?" Ricky asked "I mean, no offence towards you, Bon-Bon, but I'd rather not be known as the guy who made out with a horse. I mean, that's not exactly normal or acceptable from where I come from, so with that in mind..." He never got to finish, because at that moment Lyra pushed Bon-Bon's face onto his own.
"Oh, my Celestia!" Rarity giggled, while Rainbow continued to convulse with laughter. Even Derpy seemed to be getting a kick out of it.
Ricky pulled away, gasping. Bon-Bon turned as red as a tomato and sat down. Lyra took a couple of deep breaths and asked "So, how was it, you two?"
"Um...it was certainly interesting..." Ricky staggered over to the window and pulled out a joint. Lighting it, he took a couple of deep puffs.
"I'm going to kill you, Heartstrings." Bon-Bon muttered angrily.
"Join the club. Wanna hit? It'll calm you down." Ricky offered. Bon-Bon sighed "What the hay. I could use it."
"Exactly what DOES that stuff do to you?" Rarity asked "I mean, I've heard Applejack talk about it with Vinyl Scratch, but I've never actually heard WHY she likes it." She staggered over to join the others.
"It basically makes you slow down. You feel like you're floating, yet you're on the ground. Here, try it for yourself." Ricky handed the joint to her. Rarity held it with her magic, taking a small, ladylike puff. She almost instantly started to cough.
"Try to take it a little slower. Here, like this." Ricky took a slow draw and passed it to Bon-Bon.
Rainbow, Lyra and Derpy had joined them by this point. Ricky thought for a moment "You know what, I'm gonna roll one of my special joints for this occasion." He pulled out his papers and removed three of them.
"What are you gonna do with those?" Derpy asked curiously. Ricky chuckled "Oh, you'll see. Just you wait."
"You must try some of my purple berries...I've been eating them for six or seven weeks now..." Jefferson Airplane was blasting out of Ricky's phone, while the six partygoers sat around in a daze.
"So...I gotta ask you somethin', Derpy." Rainbow asked, the three-paper joint hanging loosely from her hoof.
"Hwha?" Derpy asked, her eyes slowly shifting around like a lava lamp. Ricky stared, captivated.
"So...in all of your years as a postmare...what is the one thing you didn't ever expect to see?"
Derpy was confused "What, you mean like a strange envelope, or something like that?"
"No, Derpy!" Lyra was laying on her stomach, hogging the nachos "She means like, who subscribes to weird stuff?"
"Oh!" Derpy laughed "Well, Big Macintosh has Playcolt and Big Flanks delivered every month."
"Ewww!" Rarity shook her head "And to think I thought he was a respectable stallion..."
"What else you got, Derp?" Ricky asked.
"Well, our oh-so-serious mayor subscribes to Equestrian Lampoon. It's normally read by pony weed smo..." Derpy seemed to piece something together "Woah...you don't think...?"
Everyone laughed at this, then Bon-Bon turned to Rainbow Dash "How about you, Rainbow? Do you have a secret vice you don't like to share?"
"Me? Well, I don't really like to go for that sort of..." Rainbow began, but Rarity interrupted her.
"Oh, please, Rainbow Dash, what about that time that you BEGGED me to allow you to accompany me to that New Colts on the Block reunion concert two months ago?"
"HEY!!! You said you would never speak of that!!!" Rainbow squealed, turning crimson. Lyra began laughing her ass off.
"Wow, Dash, I knew you were a closeted girly girl, but a colt band concert?" she gasped for breath "What, did you miss getting all googly eyed over Donnie Stallberg?"
"SHUT UP!!! Rarity, I can't believe you." Rainbow Dash pouted.
"Hey, so what if she likes certain music? You should hear some of the stuff I listen to." Ricky said.
Rainbow ignored what he said "Oh? Well what about the time I saw you going into the adult dance club, hmm?"
Rarity turned at least three shades of red "Wha...that was for my cousin's wedding! We were having her bachelorette party there, is all!"
"Please. I saw how many singles you had on you. You came prepared, and you know it!" Rainbow laughed.
"Ooohhh...." Rarity fumed, then sharply turned to Derpy "And what about you and the Doctor, dear?"
Derpy dropped the joint in her shock, Ricky grabbing it before it could burn a hole in the rug "Wh-what, me? We're just friends, is all!"
"Sure, 'friends'." Lyra smirked "I saw you two getting chummy at the costume shop last week."
"So Nightmare Night's coming! We're doing a buddy costume, is all!" Derpy was trying to shrink into herself. Ricky saw this, and quickly interfered "Nightmare Night? What's that?"
"It's a huge party where we all wear costumes, and the colts and fillies go from door to door and collect candy!" Bon-Bon said excitedly "There's a haunted house, games, a huge dance..."
"So it's Halloween, then?" Ricky said, surprised "Cool. I guess I could go as a ghost or something."
"Out of the question, darling!" Rarity said "I will NOT have you go to a fun party wearing a bed sheet. I insist that you come by the boutique and we'll fit you out for a proper costume."
"Really? Wow, that would be great." Ricky took a toke and passed it to Lyra, who was really starting to go hard on the nachos.
"But of course. And YOU, Rainbow Dash, must try to get a date this year. I mean, even Fluttershy is going with somepony." Rarity sipped her cider while Rainbow groaned and shook her head.
"Oh, please, you know I don't care about all of that lovey dovey stuff. I'm far too busy being awesome."
Lyra whispered something to Bon-Bon, who gasped and said "That's a great idea!"
"What is?" Ricky asked, not liking where this was going.
"Well...seeing as Rainbow isn't too big on dating, and you weren't exactly thrilled at the idea of kissing a pony, we think you and Dash should go with each other! I mean, it works on so many levels!"
"What?! No way!" Rainbow said "Besides, it would look too creepy!"
"Actually, it makes a lot of sense." Derpy said out of the blue "The two of you wouldn't feel awkward romantically, for one, plus it'll get everypony off of Rainbow's back about the dating thing."
Everypony stared at her "That...is the most profound thing I've ever heard you say, Derpy." Lyra said with amazement "You should smoke this stuff more often..."
"Well...if Ricky doesn't have a problem with it, it would be nice to not be bothered about having a special somepony for once." Rainbow said thoughtfully "What do you say? You want to be my pretend date for the party?"
"I guess there's no real harm in this. I'm more doing a friend a favor, if anything." Ricky shrugged "And hey, I'm getting a free costume out of the deal. I'll do it."
"OOOOOH!!!" Lyra, Rarity and Bon-Bon said in unison. Rainbow rolled her eyes and went to get a cider. Ricky sighed and pulled out a smoke "Okay, you guys, get it out of your systems already."
"I'm sorry, Ricky, but this really is a once in a lifetime opportunity. It's not often that Rainbow Dash willingly agrees to go on a date, even if it is a fake one." Rarity said. Ricky nodded "Yeah, I picked that vibe up. I just want to state right here and now that I don't want to do any kind of buddy costume. I really don't go for that sort of thing. However, I do know what I would like to go as."
"Well, don't bother telling me what it is tonight, darling. There is no possible way that I'll remember." Rarity was just about ready to pass out at this point.
"Oh boy, Rarity's going down again." Rainbow groaned "Derpy, you wanna give me a hand here?"
"Yep. C'mon, Rarity, bedtime!" The gray Pegasus took Rarity's left hoof and the two ponies half flew, half dragged her up the stairs.
"I should probably get going myself. It's getting kind of late." Ricky got up and stretched "Well, I had an awesome time here tonight, you guys. Don't get too hammered, alright?"
"We'll pace ourselves." Bon-Bon giggled "You have a good night, alright?"
"Will do. Later, guys!" Ricky hollered up the stairs, getting only snores in reply. The others must have passed out with Rarity.
Opening the door, he turned to wave at Lyra and Bon-Bon, and the two mares once again bade him goodnight. Stepping out into the cool night air, he heard Bon-Bon say "Not much of a kisser, but he's good company to have around."
Smirking to himself, Ricky lit a smoke and began walking back to Bulk Biceps' place.
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Chapter 13: Adventures in Fillysitting, pt. 1
Ricky yawned and made his way downstairs. The aroma of coffee wafted into his nostrils, and he perked up a bit. Sweeping his hair back, he tied it off and entered the kitchen.
"Hey, there he is!" Bulk Biceps was standing at the toaster, a mountain of waffles beside him "Mugs are in the cupboard above the coffeemaker."
"Awesome." Ricky opened the door and selected a mug which read "Shut Up And Pour!!!" Smirking, he poured himself a cup.
"So, where'd you get to last night? I didn't hear you get in." Bulk carried the waffle platter over to the table.
"Oh, well after I finished comic shopping with Spike, I ran into Rainbow Dash, who ended up taking me to a girls night at Rarity's." Ricky took a big gulp, ignoring his burned tongue. Fumbling for his smokes, he walked over to the front door.
"Girls' night, eh? I hear they get pretty tanked and pretty personal, if you get my drift. Know what I mean, brah?" Bulk grinned, Ricky wanting to gag at his words.
"Actually, it was no different than a kid's slumber party. Sure there was booze, but we mostly just hung around and shot the shit." Ricky stepped onto the porch and lit up.
"Huh. I guess I've heard wrong." Bulk mused, joining Ricky in the morning sun. They sipped and nodded at the passerby, then something seemed to click in Bulk's head "Oh! That's right, Applejack was looking for you."
"Really? What did she want?" Ricky looked over, interested.
"Not sure. She just asked if you could meet her over at Sugarcube Corner round noon."
"That's it? Ok, might as well go see what's up." Ricky glanced at his watch, which read 10:45.
"Okay, looks like I've got some time to kill. You don't have a shower here, do you?"
Bulk nodded "Yep, the bathroom's just down the hall from your room. Need help figuring it out?"
"Nah, I like a good challenge. Alright, I'll be back in a few, then."
***
The shower was surprisingly similar to that of a human's. Apart from it being a bit smaller than what he was used to, Ricky found that he had had no trouble using it. After he toweled off, he sighed at the thought of putting the same clothes he had been wearing back on. He decided that he was going to have to talk to Rarity about making him a new set.
Bulk was gone by the time Ricky came down for breakfast, but there were plenty of waffles left, and a fresh pot of coffee sat waiting. There was a note beside his plate that read "Gone to work. Don't forget to lock the door on your way out. I'll grab some grub on my way home. Biceps". Shrugging, Ricky loaded up his plate and began to flip through the newspaper. After a few minutes of eating and being confused by the comics page, he decided to head out and meet Applejack. He placed the leftover waffles in the fridge and washed up his dishes. Taking a final gulp of coffee, he rinsed his mug and headed outside.
As the door closed behind him, Ricky took in his surroundings. There were one or two ponies walking about, but there were none that he recognized. Shrugging, he stuck his hands in his pockets and walked over to the bakery. On his way, he noticed several interesting looking shops, one of them being a tobacconist, of all things.
"Huh...Smoke Ring's Cigars and Things. Go figure." he said to himself, and made note of the hours of operation. With those in his mind, he continued his short journey.
There was nobody around Sugarcube Corner, which sort of relieved Ricky. All he wanted to do was meet up with Applejack and find out what she wanted to see him about. He was a few minutes early, so he pulled out a smoke and decided to relax for a couple. He lit up and sighed, enjoying the peace and-
"HIYA!!!!" Pinkie's face appeared inches away from Ricky's, and he yelped in fright.
"Whatcha doin', Ricky?" The party pony bounced over to the bench and plopped herself down.
"Trying to get a year of my life back..." he muttered, his heart pounding "Not to sound like a dick, but you really need to work on that, you know?"
"Work on what?" Pinkie was confused. Ricky shook his head "The startling people thing. If you're not careful, you might get someone with a heart condition and seriously hurt them. I don't mean to be that guy, but...hey, what's up with your mane?"
Pinkie's mane and tail had lost their volume and now hung limp. and she had somehow turned a grayish hue. She hopped to the ground, her lip wobbling uncontrollably.
"Hey, wait, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to-" Ricky began, but Pinkie interrupted him.
"No, I get it...I just like to make ponies happy, you see, and a surprise greeting can be so much fun...but, I never wanted to hurt anypony..."
"Oh, fuck..." Ricky glanced around in desperation, and saw Applejack coming up the road, her sister in tow. He tried to subtly wave at her, but the two farm ponies seemed to be bickering about something.
"Look, Pinkie, I didn't mean to trash you, I just...please go back to normal?" He pleaded, but to no avail. Applejack and Apple Bloom moved closer, but Applejack still didn't see them.
"Pinkie, I just...oh, screw it. HEY!!!" Ricky yelled, and Applejack finally noticed him.
"Oh! Howdy, sugarcube! I...oh, horseapples!!" she gasped when she saw the state that Pinkie was in "Dang it, Ricky! What in Equestria did you say to her?"
"I just...asked her not to surprised people so much because of the...possible health concerns?" Ricky asked innocently, to which the orange mare facehoofed in annoyance.
"Oh, for the love of...ok, because you're new here, I'm gonna give you a pass on this one. But from now on, PLEASE don't let on to Pinkie Pie that there's a possibility she could cause harm." Applejack said "She...obviously doesn't take it well."
"Well, that's a no-brainer!! What am I supposed to do?" Ricky asked, and Applejack sighed "All you gotta do is apologize and explain to her what you really meant."
"Ok...Pinkie, listen here." Pinkie stopped sobbing long enough to look at Ricky "W-what?!" she sniffed.
"What I meant was, if you surprised people all the time, then all the fun is taken out of surprise parties!" Ricky blurted, glancing at the Apple sisters for approval. Applejack nodded, while Apple Bloom gave him a 'go on' movement with her hoof.
"You see...people love your surprise parties, am I right?" Ricky crossed his fingers, Pinkie shrugging at his words.
"I guess they do, huh?"
"Exactly!" He breathed a quiet sigh of relief "So, if you just randomly jump out at people every day, they'll be expecting it, and then there's no point behind your parties in the first place!"
"Well...I guess you're right." PInkie's mane twitched slightly, and Applejack gave Ricky a hoofs-up.
"I mean, it's okay to surprise me if say, I'm working, or if you see me shopping at the same place as you are, but not every time you see me. You dig?" Ricky smiled at Pinkie, whose mane poofed back up after a moment's thought.
"Got it! The last thing I want to do is eliminate my entire purpose here in Ponyville, because a town without parties is nothing but complete and utter chaos!!" Her eye twitched microscopically.
"Um...I thought you worked here at Sugarcube Corner?" Ricky asked, confused. Pinkie gasped at his words.
"Oh my gosh, you're right! I'm supposed to start mixing the cupcake batter for tomorrow!"
"Really? Mixing batter a day in advance? How many cupcakes are you planning to make here, 100?" Ricky pulled out a smoke.
"More like 750." Pinkie said happily, bouncing to the door. Ricky dropped his lighter in his confusion "Wait, seriously? 750? How many ponies were you planning on serving?'
"Oh, I'm allowed to eat the wares while I'm working. Mrs. Cake just told me that if I'm going to do that, then I need to start making extra. Anyhoo, I gotta get started! Byyyeeee!!!" Pinkie bounced inside the Bakery happily, Ricky staring at her in wonder.
"Wow...I have got to talk to Twilight about her." he shook his head "I am SO sorry about that, AJ. I didn't mean to get you involved in this."
"Don't you worry about it. Pinkie...well, she's kind of undiagnosed, but...there's definitely SOMETHING going on there." Applejack shrugged "Anyhow, I was hoping to ask a favor of you for this afternoon...I mean, I'll pay ya, no problem, Rarity too."
"Really? Sweet! What, do you guys need some extra manpower or something?"
"Not in the way you're thinking..." Applejack glanced down at her sister, who gave Ricky a big smile. Slowly, he began to piece it together,
"Are you asking me to take the girls for the afternoon? Why?" Ricky was confused "I mean, I'm not saying no, but I'm just a little surprised you didn't ask Twilight, or maybe your brother instead."
"Well, Twilight's supervising the Nightmare Night set-up ceremony for next week, you see, and Big Mac's taken Granny Smith to her check-up." Applejack said apologetically "And Rarity's not feeling very well this morning."
"Gee, I wonder why?" Ricky asked himself, thinking about the unicorn's binge-drinking from the night before "And I'm guessing you and the others are helping with the decorating?"
"Yup. Anyhow, the girls asked us if you could do it. They really took a shine to you, I gotta say."
"Come on, Ricky! You can come check out our clubhouse, and go crusading with us, and-" Apple Bloom began, but her sister interrupted her.
"Oh, no, NO crusading today, missy! I don't want to put that kind of burden on Ricky, here! Do you think he feels like sitting in a hospital waiting room because you-"
"OKAY!!! I get it, already! But will ya. Ricky? PLEEEEEAAASE?" Apple Bloom begged, and Ricky finally caved "Oh, fine. I don't have to start work till tomorrow, so what the hell!"
"YEAH!!!!!" Apple Bloom cheered and hopped around "C'mon, Ricky! Let's go get Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo!" She began pushing him from behind to make him go faster.
"Again, thank you SO much, hon. I promise it'll be worth your while." Applejack said with a huge air of relief, and turned to her sister "You be good for Ricky, do you hear me?"
"We'll be fine. Ricky, come ON!!!!" Apple Bloom ran around, grabbed the front of his shirt and began trying to pull him along. Applejack shook her head and started heading towards Twilight's castle.
"Well, we'd better motor. This is the only shirt I have here, don't forget." Ricky was trying not to laugh.
"Are you kidding? Rarity'll make you all kinds of new clothes!" Apple Bloom said, running on ahead. Ricky watched as she ran up to Carousel Boutique and started pounding on the door. He rolled his eyes and ran to catch up, dreading the outcome if Rarity was the one to answer the door first...
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Chapter 14: Adventures in Fillysitting, pt.2
"Well, whaddaya think? Isn't it the coolest?"
"Uh....." Ricky honestly had no idea what to say about the girls' clubhouse. It had to have been at least ten or fifteen years old, but seemed to be standing well. It was badly in need of a paint job, however. There were a couple of shingles missing from the roof, and one of the shutters was loose.
"He's speechless. He obviously thinks it's the greatest clubhouse in the history of Equestria!" Scootaloo said happily. She ran up to the door and tried to open it. It seemed to be sticking a little. Giving a final grunt, she managed to get it open "Well, come check it out!" she called. Apple Bloom could see Ricky's hesitation "I know it needs a few repairs, but do you really think ma sister would let us play in a dangerous one?"
"Well, I guess you do have a point there. Alright, let's have a look"
Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom cheered at this and ran up to join Scootaloo inside "Hurry up, Ricky!" Sweetie waved at him.
"Hold on, I'm coming. Hold your horses..." Ricky panted, catching up to them. He was really starting to hate all the hills in this town, but he decided to keep that one to himself.
"Ok, watch your head, Ricky!" Apple Bloom said. Ricky could see that he had no choice, given the low height of the clubhouse door. Even as he ducked, the back of his head lightly scraped the top of the door frame.
"Wow...you weren't kidding. Any chance I could sit down, here? Back's starting to hurt." Rubbing his back, Ricky glanced around in silent desperation.
"Oh! Sorry!" Scootaloo ran to grab him a stool, while Sweetie Belle went over to a mini fridge in the corner. Apple Bloom came over and took his hoodie.
"Ah, much better." Ricky leaned back, while Sweetie brought him a can of soda "Oh, thanks. What is this, exactly?"
"Vanilla cola."
"Really? Sweet! I thought they discontinued this stuff years ago!" RIcky said excitedly, only to be met with blank stares.
"What do you mean? This stuff's been around for ages." Apple Bloom said, confused. Ricky quietly cursed himself out "Sorry, I keep forgetting how similar our worlds can be sometimes."
"No need to apologize. It's an honest mistake." Sweetie said, then turned to her friends "Okay, girls! How do you propose we try to get our cutie marks today?"
"YEAH!!" Scootaloo crowed happily "Cutie Mark Crusaders!!!"
"What? Cutie Mark...ooohhhh no, I don't think so! I promised Applejack that I would look after you three, and that means none of this...crusading, or whatever the hell it is. What is it, anyway?" Ricky took a sip of his soda, which was tasted even better than Vanilla Coke ever did.
"Oh, it's nothing serious. We're the last ones in our class to get our cutie marks, you see, so we spend all of our free time trying out various activities to see what our special talents might be!" Sweetie Belle said helpfully, Ricky nodding understandably.
"Oh, well, when you put it that way, that doesn't sound TOO bad..." he began, but the girls weren't listening.
"So, have we tried fire-eating yet?" Sweetie asked, Scootaloo shaking her head no "That's an awesome idea! But don't forget, I wanted to try parasailing as well."
"I think Twilight may have left her lab unlocked again..." Apple Bloom said thoughtfully. Upon hearing all this, Ricky tried his hardest to interfere, but to no avail.
"Um, seriously girls, I'm in charge here. And I REALLY don't think Applejack, let alone Rarity, will be too pleased if you three were...and they've run out the fucking door on me. Great." Ricky groaned and got up to chase them. He dropped his head to get through the door.
"GIRLS!! Wait up already!!!" The CMC had approached the barn, and within seconds had gone inside. Winded, Ricky stopped to catch his breath.
"G-god d-d-d-damnit...HEY!!!!!!" Legs burning, Ricky pushed himself until he too was inside.
"Ok...I...got you now." Ricky gasped "You...shouldn't have...run... off...li-hey, what do you think you're doing with those haybales?!"
"We're gonna try and get our cutie marks in parachuting!" Scootaloo said, standing on top of a large stack of bales, a potato sack in hand.
"Okay, that is IT!!! There is NO way I'm gonna stand here and let you...DON'T!!" Ricky dived to catch the filly, who landed on his back hard.
"Ugh...." he groaned. Scootaloo got up angrily "What'd you do that for, Ricky? You totally ruined my awesome landing!" The little Pegasus pouted, hooves crossed.
"Are you insane?! You could have broken a leg, or even worse!!" Ricky sat up, his back throbbing from the impact "How would I have explained it to your parents?"
"They wouldn't care, to be honest. They're not even around half the time, so Rainbow Dash keeps an eye on me usually." Scootaloo went to start climbing the haybales again, but Ricky caught hold of her tail.
"Ok, then, what would Rainbow Dash say?" He got up and stood in front of the three fillies, blocking their ascent.
"No pain, no gain!" Scootaloo said happily. Ricky facepalmed in frustration.
"Don't freak out...don't freak out..." he muttered, fumbling for a smoke "Ok, that's it. While you three are under my supervision, there will be no, repeat NO cutie mark crusading, you got it?"
"WHAT?! Come on, that's not cool!" Apple Bloom cried, but Ricky shrugged "I don't care. Your sisters trusted me, and I'm going to make damned sure you three stay out of trouble. Now, out of the barn. All of you."
"Please let us stay, Ricky! We promise not to do anything TOO dangerous." Sweetie smiled, but Ricky was completely unfazed.
"Nice try, but I'm not Rainbow Dash. March." He pointed out the door, narrowing his eyes. The three fillies dropped their heads in shame and went outside. Following them, Ricky thought maybe he had been a bit harsh.
"Hey, look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be so mean, kids. I just don't want to see you three getting injured. Now, unless I'm completely stupid, I don't recall Applejack saying you couldn't do low-key crusades."
At these words, the girls perked up "You mean like...Pet Grooming Cutie Marks?" Apple Bloom asked hopefully. Ricky shrugged "I guess so. We could wash your dog."
"Are you kidding us?" Scootaloo said "We know a place where we can wash all sorts of animals!" She started walking up the road, her friends close behind.
"Really? Is there an animal shelter nearby or something?" Ricky asked, tossing his smoke to the ground and crushing it. He then started jogging to catch up to the CMC.
"Sort of. It's not an OFFICIAL animal shelter, per say." Sweetie Belle replied. Ricky was becoming intrigued.
"Okay, I'll bite. Where exactly is this place?"
"Well, have you met Fluttershy yet?" Apple Bloom asked. Ricky nodded "I met her briefly at my welcoming party, but I haven't really spoken to her much."
"I'm not surprised. She's a bit of an introvert, you know?" Scootaloo said "She's not the most interactive pony out there."
"If that's the case, then why do you want to go over and bother her?" Ricky asked. The four of them were walking through the front gates of Sweet Apple Acres now.
"Oh, she loves having company, but she prefers it if it's ponies that she's been around before." Sweetie Belle explained.
"I'm a little confused. Wouldn't that mean that she doesn't want me to be there? I mean, we've only spoken for like, ten minutes. If that." Ricky was starting to get a little apprehensive about the idea.
"Would you stop being such a wuss already? Look, Fluttershy loves it when we stop by. I mean, she's usually the one who fillysits us." Scootaloo sounded frustrated at this point.
"Really? How come she isn't watching you today? Not that I have a problem with it."
"Applejack said she had a lot of animals to wash and groom today, otherwise she would have loved to have us over." Sweetie replied.
"Wait...if she's already washing and grooming, how come you girls didn't think about trying that out in the first place? I would have been happy to have walked you over and helped out." Ricky asked incredulously, happy on the outside but yelling his head off internally.
"Well, we were planning to do that from the get go, but we figured you might not want to walk all the way over there." Apple Bloom said innocently. Ricky stared at her, his eye twitching ever so slightly.
"That and we REALLY wanted to try parachuting 20 feet off the ground inside the barn." Sweetie said happily, as if it was no big deal at all.
"You...I...I'm NOT going to freak out on you girls, but...look, let's just drop the subject entirely, alright? Lead the way to Fluttershy's." Ricky lit another smoke.
"So...you're not mad?" Scootaloo asked.
"Nope."
"But you're not happy with us either."
"Yep."
"So...you're willing to turn the other cheek, not tell on us and let us carry on crusading like this anytime we're under your supervision?" Sweetie asked, an adorable smile on her face. She batted her lashes.
"Sweetie Belle?" Ricky said slowly and tentatively.
"Yes?"
"I am going to ask that for the duration of this walk, none of you discuss cutie marks, crusading or me turning the other cheek. In fact, we are going to play the Quiet Game."
"What? Why?" Apple Bloom began to complain, but Ricky shushed her "Because there is a good chance that I am going to lose my temper, so it'll help me calm down if you three don't talk until we get to Fluttershy's. Got it?"
Scootaloo opened her mouth to protest, but Ricky silenced her with a sharp look. After pausing for a moment, he saw that the girls were more than happy to comply, he smiled.
"MUCH better." he said "Shall we continue?"
They carried on, and once Ricky was just out of earshot, Apple Bloom leaned toward Scootaloo and muttered "Some afternoon, eh? I TOLD you we should have gone with Pinkie Pie..."
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Chapter 15: Adventures in Fillysitting, pt. 3
Fluttershy had no idea how to react to the sight of Ricky sitting at her backyard table. The Cutie Mark Crusaders dropping in unexpected was something she had grown accustomed to ages ago, but she was definitely not expecting him. Frankly, she was a little bit terrified. Ricky had noticed this right from the start, and it had been like this for a good 20 minutes now.
"So..." Ricky awkwardly drummed his fingers on the table "The girls are certainly energetic."
"Oh!" Fluttershy jumped at the sound of his voice and blushed deeply "Um...yes, yes they are..."
"Dang it, Angel! I could use a hand over here!" Apple Bloom was attempting to wrangle a couple of muddy pigs, while Fluttershy's pet bunny sat nearby watching, a look of sadistic satisfaction on his face. Sweetie Belle kept slipping in the mud, while Scootaloo was busy trying to get the hose under control.
"Well, on the bright side, you won't be getting all muddy from this yourself." Ricky offered, to which Fluttershy cocked her head, slightly confused at his words.
"But...I LIKE getting all muddy. If it means I can help a sweet, pink piggy get all nice and clean..." She brightened up a bit as she said this, but was blushing again in no time.
"Okay...if that's what you're into." Ricky was starting to feel really uncomfortable around her. Sure, she was polite and all, but the fact that she wouldn't offer any sort of a conversation starter wasn't helping. Ricky considered telling a joke, but he had a feeling that anything that he knew would shock her, or possibly render her catatonic.
"I...I'm sorry, I don't really entertain much..." Fluttershy said meekly, to which Ricky shook his head "Oh, come on. You're doing just fine. I mean, you had no idea that the girls were planning to bring me over here. If I had had some way of letting you know first..."
"Well, a little warning would have been nice. I mean, not that I don't want you here or anything, but..."
"Hey, I get it. You're used to ponies, not humans." Ricky said. Fluttershy smiled at this.
"Well...my friends have said nice things about you. So...if they don't think you're a terrible person, I don't see any reason why I should have to." the yellow Pegasus said.
"Really? What sort of things, if you don't mind my asking?"
"Well...Twilight thinks you're very intelligent. Applejack likes how humble you are, and Rainbow Dash says that you're a lot more fun than you appear."
"Huh. I never would have guessed. I'll have to thank them for that." Ricky said. He glanced over to see how the girls were doing "How's it going over there, you three?" he called.
"Well, we would be having an easier time if Angel here would get off his fluffy butt and give us a hand!" Scootaloo was sitting on the upturned washtub, panting. Angel was now on his back, convulsing with laughter. Hell, even the pigs appeared to be busting a gut.
"Trust me, this is a lot harder than it looks..." Apple Bloom groaned. She tried to stand, but slipped and fell flat on her face.
"Seems that way. Hey...where's Sweetie Belle?"
"Here..." a defeated-sounding voice came from under the washtub. Ricky smirked, then glanced at Fluttershy, who was having trouble containing herself as well. Finally, the two of them gave up and broke down laughing.
"Hey! It's not THAT funny!" Apple Bloom said angrily.
"She's right, you know. It's hilarious!!" RIcky was slamming his hand down on the table in mirth. Beside him, Fluttershy was starting to tear up.
"Oh...oh my...usually I wouldn't l-l-laugh at this...." the Pegasus tried to speak, but she gave up mid-sentence. Over in the field, Sweetie Belle finally managed to get the washtub off of her, not realizing that Scootaloo was sitting on top. The sight of the little orange filly yelping and falling backwards sent them into more hysterics. After a moment or two, the two adults stopped laughing and tried to catch their breath.
"Jesus...that just totally made my afternoon, I've got to tell you." Ricky chuckled weakly. He turned to the CMC and said loudly "Well, girls, how did you like your little slice of karma?"
"I'll tell you...wait, what's karma?" Scootaloo asked, confused. Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle walked up to join her, both caked in mud.
"Karma? It's when things happen to you based on things you've done. So, good things cause good things, and vice versa." Ricky explained. Fluttershy looked curious about what he said.
"Oh? Did you girls do something that you shouldn't have?" She hopped off her chair and made her way over to the three fillies.
"Well...it's not as if we broke something." Sweetie Belle said, blushing slightly.
Fluttershy narrowed her eyes slightly "Did you girls get into one of Twilight's spells again?" She was starting to sound very stern, and she began to get a rather fierce look in her eyes.
"NO! No, nothing like that..." Apple Bloom said weakly, backing up slightly.
"Girls...I'm starting to get the idea that you did something REALLY bad." Fluttershy seemed really upset now. Ricky was amazed at this slow transformation in personality. He wanted to intervene, but was a little scared of the way she was staring at the girls.
"Now, if you girls just do the right thing and tell me what you did, I promise that I won't get mad at you." She took a deep breath and continued "Now, will you please tell me what you did that was so bad?"
"Well...we decided to try just one thing to attempt to get our cutie marks..." Apple Bloom began slowly, grinning as she did so. Fluttershy placed a hoof over her eyes "You didn't..."
"And we decided that we hadn't tried base jumping QUITE yet. So we figured that we had hay bales, we had a sack...you see where I'm going with this, right?" Sweetie Belle added quickly. Fluttershy held up a hoof.
"Let me just stop you right there. Now, do you all remember what happened last weekend?" She fixed the CMC with a hard stare, and they seemed to freeze up instantly.
"Y...yes." Scootaloo stammered.
"Um...what happened last weekend?" Ricky asked timidly.
"We decided to try and get our cutie marks in janitorial services." Apple Bloom replied. Ricky glanced at her "Well, that doesn't seem quite so bad..."
"They did this at the Ponyville Museum. They lost control of the floor buffer, fell down the stairs and nearly broke a very old vase." Fluttershy sighed "Now, I thought that after that little incident, you girls were going to stop trying to force your cutie marks for a while."
"But, if we don't get them soon, Diamond Tiara is going to tease us until we get to junior high!" Sweetie protested, but Fluttershy shook her head "I don't care. You made a promise, and a promise is not to be broken!"
"Hey, sorry to interrupt again, but who's this 'Diamond Tiara'?" Ricky wondered, and Scootaloo glared at the name.
"She's this snobby rich girl who picks on us constantly for not having our cutie marks yet. She and her best friend have been calling us 'blank flanks' for nearly a year, now!"
"Yeah. Every chance she has, she makes a mean remark or plays a cruel trick on us. If we just hurry up and get our cutie marks already, then she'll finally leave us alone!" Apple bloom said.
"Huh...maybe I oughta go have a chat with her dad." Ricky mused, but he was ignored yet again. After seeing how well Fluttershy was handling things, he decided to stay out of this.
"GIRLS!" Fluttershy said loudly, and they snapped to attention "I want you three to look at Ricky and apologize to him for risking your lives."
"Oh, come on!" Sweetie whined, but Fluttershy shook her head "Don't make me tell your sisters about this!" she warned.
"Ugh...fine..." the CMC walked up to Ricky, heads hung in shame.
"Ricky, we're...we're sorry for ignoring what you told us. And for running away from you." Scootaloo said, and Apple Bloom nudged her.
"OW! Ok...and for hurting your back."
"Hey, it's okay, girls. I'm just glad that you're safe. And to show how relieved I am, I'm not going to tell Applejack, Rarity OR Rainbow Dash about this." Ricky said, smiling.
"Really? Oh, you're the best, Ricky!" Apple Bloom said happily.
"BUT you have to promise me that you'll start keeping your promises from now on. Sound fair?" Ricky asked.
"Hold on a sec." The three fillies put their heads together and talked it out. Ricky, in the meantime, glanced at Fluttershy, who still looked a tad upset "Are you okay?" he asked carefully. Fluttershy seemed to snap out of it and looked at him.
"What? Oh, yes, I'm fine. I just don't like it when people break their promises, especially if it involves their own safety." She blushed as she spoke. Ricky shook his head, realizing that he was going to have a tough time figuring Fluttershy out. Meanwhile, the CMC turned towards the two adults.
"Ok, we promise not to do anything dangerous around you, Ricky." Scootaloo said. Ricky narrowed his eyes "Um, we said no more dangerous crusading, period. Don't try to twist my words around on me."
"Ugh...fine. We promise." Apple Bloom muttered. Ricky smiled and decided to accept this.
"Good. Now, I think maybe we should get you girls cleaned up. Your sisters are going to be coming to get you soon." Ricky sighed. The CMC were caked in mud. He could tell that this was going to take while.
"Well...if it helps, I've got a couple of extra tubs in my shed..." Fluttershy offered. Ricky smiled at this "You know what, that's good enough punishment. You girls are taking a bath...outside."
"WHAT?! That's not fair!" Sweetie protested, but Ricky held up his hand "Don't care. I promised I'd get you girls home in one piece, and I intend to keep that promise. Now, go get the tubs."
"But everypony's gonna come by and see us! It'll be humiliating!" Apple Bloom whined.
"I'm sorry, but I'm putting my foot down. Or, you can go home looking like this and get in trouble from your sister. Your choice."
"Ugh...we aren't going to win this one. Come on, guys..." Scootloo muttered.
As the three fillies marched off in anger, he turned to Fluttershy and said "I have got to say, for such a shy pony, you really know how to take control of a situation."
"Oh...well, it's something I just...developed over the years. I don't like using my stare that often, but it does help to keep my animals in line." Fluttershy replied, getting up to follow the girls "I'd better show them just how much soap to use..."
"Good idea..." Ricky agreed, shuddering at the idea of having to chase the three fillies through a lake of thick suds. As he watched Fluttershy walk off, he sighed, glad to finally be able to have a smoke. He had gotten the vibe that it wasn't a good idea to do it in front of her, and he was decided he had made the right choice. In the distance, he could hear Fluttershy saying "Girls, NO!! Not that much!!!" Groaning, he put his smoke away and ran around the side of the house to giver her a hand.
***
"Well, I gotta hand it to ya, Ricky. I expected the girls to be a little worst for wear, but I could swear they're cleaner now." Applejack marvelled.
"I'll be honest, it wasn't easy. I now know that I'm not cut out for dealing with kids." Ricky lit a smoke. Applejack handed him a small velvet moneybag "Here. There's about 100 bits in there. I figured you could use the extra."
Ricky took it gratefully "Thanks. I really appreciate this. And you know, even though they were a pain in the ass, I actually wouldn't mind taking them again. If no one else is available first, that is."
"You would? Well, shoot, that's mighty neighborly of ya, Rick!" the farm pony gave him a friendly hoof to the back, almost knocking him off the porch.
"Great...so how did the decorating go? I'm looking forward to this 'Nightmare Night' thing." Ricky righted himself.
"Well, after Twilight had another one of her little episodes, she got everything under control."
"She stresses out, eh? That sucks." Ricky stood, ready to head home.
"Well, it's nopony's fault but her own. I mean, that girl does try to handle too much at one time. She really needs to take it easy once in a blue moon." Applejack sighed, shaking her head.
"Hey, maybe this party will help her loosen up. Which reminds me, I need to talk to Rarity about that costume she promised me." Ricky stepped down off the porch "Well, I've got to get going here. I start work in the morning, so I'll need a good rest."
"I like a dedicated worker. They're the ones who really deserve the finer things in life. Speaking of which, I've been meaning to tell you...there's a wild patch of that stuff you like smoking deep in the Everfree Forest." Applejack remarked. Ricky was surprised and pleased to hear this news.
"Really? Sweet, I'll have to go in there with you soon. But, I really do have to run here, so...you have yourself a good night, alright? Thanks again for the money."
"Anytime, hon. And I'd be glad to take you up on that offer. Safe travels, you hear?" Applejack said, smiling as she did.
"Got it. I'll catch you later." Ricky began walking away from the farmhouse. Applejack watched him go until the glow of his smoke faded into the night, then turned to head into the house.
Chapter 16: A Few Days Later
"Alright Vinyl, I'm out of here. I'll see you on Monday, alright?" Ricky stretched as he made his way to the door of the music shop.
"Sounds good." Vinyl said absentmindedly, flipping through a magazine. After waiting for a longer response, Ricky shrugged and left, lighting a smoke as he did. He glanced at his watch and found that it was still a bit early, so he figured he'd just wander around and see what was up. He saw one or two ponies he recognized, but he didn't really feel like trying to talk to someone new. He thought about heading over to Applejack's to see if she wanted to go on that weed harvest, but figured that Apple Bloom would probably be getting home from school still.
"Hey! Ricky!"
Ricky stopped short, glancing around for the source of the voice. He didn't see anypony at first, so he started walking again.
"Over here!"
He looked again, and saw Twilight over by the Rusty Horseshoe "Oh! Sorry, I didn't see you there, Twilight. How's it going?"
"Not bad. I just came from the Nightmare Night preparations. It's looking to be really fun this year!" Twilight said happily. Ricky glanced down at her, noticing a piece of star-studded fabric poking out of her saddlebag.
"What's with the cloth? You going as a wizard, then?" The two of them began walking together towards the direction of Sugarcube Corner.
"Not just any wizard. The one and only Starswhirl the Bearded!" She said happily "He's kind of a big deal to me." she added, noting the blank look on Ricky's face.
"Gotcha. I already went to Rarity for a measurement session the other day." he said, pulling out a smoke "I'm really looking forward to this thing too."
"Oh, I just know you're going to love it. So, what are you planning to go as?" Twilight asked him, waving at a couple of ponies they passed.
"I'm going as a video game character." Ricky replied "I was able to find a picture of what he looked like on my phone. I gotta say, Rarity is a genius when it comes to copying pictures."
"Well, as a designer, she has to be able to make a visual of what she wants to do." Twilight said "But, enough about Nightmare Night. How's the new job going?"
"Pretty good so far. Vinyl's not the most responsible boss I've ever had, but I like it better that way. She's got me on four days a week, 15 bits an hour." They turned up the path to the bakery/sweet shop.
"That's great to hear! I have to say, I'm really impressed at how quickly you've become accustomed to this place." Twilight used her magic to open the doors, and they entered. Ricky braced himself for Pinkie Pie, but fortunately she didn't seem to be working today.
"I really like it here. When I find something I enjoy, I get right into it. Ponyville's no different."
The two of them walked over to a booth and sat down. A moment later, Mrs. Cake came up, smiling away.
"Well, good afternoon, your highness!" she said happily "If I had known you would be coming in today..."
"Oh, please don't get all flustered, Mrs. Cake. It's not a big deal when I come here. I'm still the same old Twilight Sparkle that you knew before." Twilight said, blushing slightly.
Mrs. Cake blushed as well "I'm sorry, dear. I just can't help it."
"Don't worry about it. Can we just have a menu, please?"
"Of course. I'll be right back." Mrs. Cake hurried off behind the counter to fetch them. Ricky pulled out the moneybag that Applejack gave him.
"Let me handle this one. I got lots left over from the other day." he said. Twilight was slightly taken aback at this "Oh...are you sure? I mean, I would feel just terrible if I were to accept and deplete you of what you have..." she rambled. Ricky held up his hand to stop her.
"Chill, Twi. I've got enough left. Besides, after all of the help that you and your friends have been giving me, the least I can do is buy you something to the eat." Ricky scanned the cakes menu, and figured everything there had way too much sugar.
"Well, if you insist." Twilight blushed lightly, picking her menu up with magic. As they read, Ricky got the uncomfortable feeling that they were being stared at. Slowly looking around, he saw his suspicions confirmed. While there weren't many ponies in the snack shop, there were enough to make it awkward.
"Uh...why are they staring?" Ricky whispered uneasily. Twilight seemed confused at this, and then realized what he was saying "Oh, great...not again. Excuse me, please..." Getting up on her chair, the princess addressed the other patrons.
"Look, everypony, I understand that some of you are still fascinated with Ricky being here, not to mention seeing him sitting and having dessert with the princess in public..."
"Great, just broadcast it for the world, why don't you?" Ricky thought, cringing from the embarrassment. A mare over at the counter pointed at him and began to giggle with her friend.
"...So, with that said, we would appreciate it if we were left in peace, alright?" Twilight finished her little speech, and everypony began to snicker and applaud. She sat down, all smiles "See? That wasn't so bad, was it?"
"Well, at least Pinkie Pie wasn't here to see that. If she got the wrong idea about us...God, I don't even want to think about it." Ricky said, his ears burning.
"I suppose I COULD have worded that a little differently..." Twilight mused "Maybe I could twist my words around..."
"PLEASE sit back down, would you? Trust me, you've done enough already." Ricky did his best to ignore the situation.
"Good point. Don't want to spoil a good thing." Twilight agreed, setting her menu down "I think I've decided what I want. Any idea of what you're gonna order yet?"
"I'm not really hungry, to be honest. Do they serve coffee here, by chance?"
"Yep. And being Pinkie's day off, there's no reason for them to serve decaf." Twilight giggled briefly, then looked serious "Trust me, Pinkie on caffeine is NOT a sight that you want to see."
"Really? It can't be THAT bad. I mean, I've seen my old classmates panic back in school and whatnot and get a little too juiced up, but they were mostly fine." Ricky recalled.
"Well, let's just say that there was a lot of property damage. A LOT."
As Twilight finished speaking, Mrs. Cake approached the table "So, are we ready to order, then?"
"Yes, I'll have a...strawberry shake with a slice of chocolate pecan pie, and Ricky...?" Twilight looked at him, and he started slightly "Oh! Sorry, I'll just get a large cup of coffee and...whoa, caramel filled chocolate muffins? Sweet, I'll take a couple of those too."
"Coming right up!" Mrs. Cake wrote their order down and headed behind the counter. As she did, Twilight looked at Ricky and asked "So, out of curiosity, why do you have such a problem with people paying attention to you? I mean, I don't mean to pry, but-"
"Oh, no, no. You have the wrong idea entirely." Ricky said "It's not the people paying attention to me, but if I'm seen randomly having coffee with the princess...you know where I'm going with this?"
"Not really..." Twilight mused, then suddenly it clicked "Oh...OH! Well, yes, I can see how that would be a bit of a problem for you..." she agreed.
"Yeah...so, can you understand why I kind of want to keep this low-key? Oh, thanks." Ricky took his order from Mrs. Cake, Twilight using magic to set hers down.
"Of course. I mean, it's one thing if you're spending time with your special somepony..." Twilight took a bite of pie and chased it down with a sip of shake "Speaking of which, did you have a special somepony back in your old world?"
"Special some...you mean like a girlfriend?" Ricky asked, slightly surprised "Well, I did have a couple of flings here and there...nothing you would really call special, but it was okay."
"So, no." Twilight said bluntly.
"Pretty much." Ricky took a sip of coffee "Why do you ask?"
"I was just curious, is all." Twilight took another sip and glanced away slightly. Ricky was starting to find her behavior a bit odd. As he watched, he started piecing things together...
"Twilight...are you...trying to tell me that you...?" Ricky began, but Twilight gasped and shook her head violently.
"NO! Oh, sweet Celestia, a thousand times no. I mean, I don't mean to offend you or anything, but for a princess and a human to...I don't even want to THINK about what sort of punishment would be in store." Twilight blushed and took another sip.
"No offence taken. I'm sorry for putting you on the spot like that, but I thought you were trying to hint that you were into me." Ricky glanced down at his muffins, suddenly not hungry anymore.
"Well, yes and no." Ricky glanced sharply at Twilight, confused and uncomfortable "Um...but you just said..."
"No, you don't understand. I'M not the one who likes you, but somepony else does." Twilight said, and Ricky stared, stunned at her words.
"Are you kidding me? Who is it?" Ricky asked, trying to comprehend what was happening.
"Look, I'm terrible with this kind of stuff...to put it simple, somepony who you've met and gotten rather close with recently has taken a liking to you. I'm not gonna tell you who it is, but all I know is that she plans to tell you on Nightmare Night."
"What? Nightmare Night? But I'm supposed to be on a fake date with Rainbow Dash that night." Ricky said, getting a tad flustered "I mean, I'm flattered and all, but...wow, this has legitimately never happened to me."
"Look, I'll explain to Rainbow Dash what's happening. Knowing her, there's a strong chance she'll be more than happy to get out of a setup. You just worry about making a good impression on your potential special somepony..." Twilight giggled, clearly excited at what was unfolding. Ricky sighed "Look...can you at least give me a hint as to who I'm going to be hearing this from?"
"I suppose...okay, here it goes...you see her every day, no matter what time it is." Twilight said. Ricky leaned forward, waiting to hear more.
"That's it. I'm not gonna tell you any more. I promised her that I would only give you a heads up on what would be happening." Twilight pushed her plate away and took another sip of her shake.
"Seriously? That's not fair at all...God, luckily I have until Saturday to prepare myself for this...Just need to focus on getting everything together for the big night." Ricky stood up and drained his coffee.
"Well, all I can suggest is that you don't worry about this non-stop for the next two days. Believe me, I know all about stressing out to the max..." Twilight shuddered slightly, as if recalling some past incident. She used her magic to make a doggy bag appear for Ricky's muffins.
"Good point, Twi. I should just get some rest and collect myself." Ricky pulled out a smoke "Well, I should probably get going. Wouldn't mind putting my feet up for a bit, I'll bet you want to do the same."
"Ok. You have yourself a good night, and remember what I said about stressing out." Twilight replied.
"Got it." Ricky set 14 bits on the table, stretched and made his way out the bakery door. As Twilight watched him go, she sighed.
"I really, REALLY hope that he does the right thing...the last thing I want to do is see her get hurt." the princess said to herself, looking out the window as she saw Ricky's admirer go by.
Chapter 17: Nightmare Night, pt. 1
"I gotta say, man, that costume looks awesome!" Spike marvelled. He was walking alongside Ricky and Twilight, who looked utterly ridiculous in her Starswhirl outfit.
"Thanks, but Rarity's the one who deserves the credit here. I had no idea that she was going to be able to pull this off for me. I mean, she even got the spear to look right!" Ricky was pretty excited about his Scorpion outfit. He had made a point of using the original design so as to make Rarity's job go easier, but he wasn't expecting her to use fancy leather.
"Well, that's Rarity for you. Always has to make a big impact." Twilight replied. As they walked, they had to keep stepping off to the side for groups of fillies. One of these groups was being led by Bulk Biceps, who was dressed as a beach bum, goofy straw hat and all.
"ALRIGHT! Let's stay as a group!" Bulk glanced over and spotted the three of them "Evening, your highness!" Bowing, he lost his hat. Twilight had to laugh at this "Relax, Bulk. You don't have to bow every time."
"Sorry, it's a force of habit. You guys off to the party, then?" Biceps put his hat back on as the fillies behind him began to roll their eyes in annoyance. Ricky noticed this and remembered having to suffer the same thing as a kid.
"Yeah! It's gonna rule!" Spike jumped happily, and his knight's visor clanged down hard. Muttering in frustration, he pushed it back up, blushing slightly. Bulk glanced over at Ricky and whistled "Wow, that is some outfit you have on, dude! What are you supposed to be?"
"I'm Scorpion, actually." Ricky replied, not expecting his roommate to know who or what he was talking about.
"Really? Huh, you don't look like any kind of scorpion I've seen before. They usually have more legs, and a tail, and-"
"No, I'm...you know what, never mind. It's not that important. Are you going to be there also?" Ricky asked, glancing at the impatient group of fillies.
"A bit later, yeah. I just have to finish up my route first." Turning to the kids, he smiled apologetically "Sorry, you guys. We're gonna start moving right away. Say goodbye to the princess."
"Happy Nightmare Night, Princess Twilight!" the fillies chorused, and happily went along their way. Twilight smiled as she watched them go "I really do love seeing kids have fun. They'll enjoy themselves even more when they get to see Princess Luna at the party."
"Princess...Wait, how many princesses are there in this place?" Ricky asked, starting to get confused. Spike rolled his eyes at this, but Twilight didn't seem to notice "Well, you've already met Celestia and myself, obviously. Luna is Celestia's younger sister, while Cadance is their neice. Meanwhile, I happen to be Cadance's sister-in-law."
"That...is a tad confusing." Ricky scratched his head, and Twilight shrugged "It doesn't really matter. You'll like Luna regardless of how we're connected."
Ricky was about to respond, but decided that it was best to let this one be "Whatever. So, what now?"
"Well, we don't have to be at the party quite yet...let's just wander around and see what's happening." Twilight suggested, and Spike nodded "I'm game. Ricky?"
"Cool."
"Alright, let's wander, then!"
***
As the three of them made their way through the town, Ricky was surprised at just how similar Nightmare Night was to Halloween. There were minor differences, of course, but for the most part they were indistinguishable. He looked over at Sugarcube Corner, which appeared to have been done up like a witch's house.
"Hey, that looks pretty cool. Why don't we go check it out?" Ricky pointed out what he was talking about. Twilight followed his gaze, then shuddered slightly.
"Are you sure you want to do that? Pinkie has a tendency to go crazy with the authenticity of certain things." Twilight said. To further prove her point, a pair of young colts came running out, screaming.
"I TOLD YOU NOT TO TOUCH THAT, SNAILS!!" the smaller colt yelled as they passed the trio.
"Well, you know that I can't be relied on for much of anything!"
Ricky watched them go "Wow...I think you might be right. Maybe we should pass on that one."
The three of them began to walk past, jumping as a bloodcurdling shriek followed by demonic laughing rang from the bakery. Ricky could hear young ponies screaming and laughing, Pinkie's cackling being the loudest sound of all.
"Jesus...that pony is not normal." Ricky said as they quickened their pace. Spike nodded "You're telling me. I like her and all, but she is way too much."
"Oh, don't worry about her. This is the one night a year she can just have fun, so why spoil it for her?" Twilight retorted, then her face lit up as she saw Rainbow Dash and Rarity walking up to them.
"What took you guys so long?" Rainbow asked, removing her safari helmet "We've been waiting forever!"
Twilight rolled her eyes at this "It's been twenty minutes, Rainbow, be a little more realistic. Great costume, by the way!"
"What can I say? Only Rainbow Dash can pull off the awesomeness that is Daring Do!" Rainbow struck a heroic pose, and Ricky silently laughed.
Meanwhile, Spike was nearly drooling at the sight of Rarity, who was dressed in a jewel-studded Egyptian dress "W-wow, R-r-rarity, you look incredible!" The little dragon looked like he was about to pass out from the sight of her. Ricky stared at this, partially fascinated and partially weirded out.
"Oh, thank you, Spikey dear." Rarity batted her eyelashes at him, and he swayed on his feet. Twilight giggled "Okay, Spike, walk it off."
"Such a dear, dear boy. Richard, darling, I'm SO pleased at how you look in that costume!" Rarity said happily, clearly pleased with her handiwork.
"Hey, you have an eye for art. But, seriously, I'm getting pretty stoked to get to this party."
"Totally!" Rainbow said happily, running in place "Come on, come on, come on..."
"ALRIGHT!" Twilight said loudly, then excused herself "Sorry, that was uncalled for."
"Whatever. Race you guys there!" Rainbow took off, taking Rarity's headdress with her. Gasping, she narrowed her eyes "Why I oughta...RAINBOW DASH, YOU RETURN THAT THIS INSTANT!!!" She raced after her friend. Spike, realizing Rarity had gone, ran after her, yelling for her to wait.
Ricky was about to go after them when Twilight stopped him "Hey...remember what I said the other day?"
"What? What are you...Oh! Oh, right, THAT thing...yeah, what about it?"
"Well...are you nervous, or anything like that?"
"I wasn't until you brought it up..." Ricky groaned "God, I really don't know how to handle this sort of situation...I mean, I've never had a girl just come right out and said that she was really into me before. I just don't know how I'm going to respond here." Removing his mask, he lit a smoke and sat down.
"I'm sorry that I brought it up, but...I just don't want anypony to be hurt by this, alright?" Twilight offered helpfully "If you find you have to turn her down, just...do it lightly, alright?"
"Yeah, I guess...you know what? I'm not going to let this ruin my night or anyone else's. I'm gonna face her and hear what she has to say...whoever she is."
"I'm really glad to hear that, Ricky. Try not to think about it too much if you can. Now, come on, we have a party to go to." Twilight smiled at him, and Ricky returned it.
"You're right, Twi. I'm just going to have fun, and when this happens...well, it happens." Ricky stood up and pitched what was left, then pulled his mask back on.
"That's the right attitude to have. Now...race you!" Twilight suddenly ran off. Surprised, Ricky gathered his senses and ran to catch up, his friend's advice ringing in his ears as he did.
Chapter 18: Nightmare Night, pt.2
"I win!" Twilight laughed, panting slightly. Ricky collapsed againat the fence "It's easier when you've got four legs. Plus, I'm starting to think this costume isn't meant for running in."
"Man, you guys are slowpokes!" Rainbow Dash flew over, while Rarity was having her headdress adjusted by Spike "What did you do, stop for candy?"
"Oh, bite me." Ricky muttered. He took in the scene before him, and gave a low whistle. There were ponies wearing all kinds of costumes. He saw Applejack supervising the apple bob, while Vinyl and a rather dignified-looking mare were playing eerie music for a group of spectators.
"Wow this looks awesome!" Ricky quickly made his way through the gate, Twilight and the others close behind.
"I'm gonna go check out the haunted house!" Spike said gleefully "Rarity, would you...?"
"I'm sorry, darling, but I don't fare well with frightening things. Perhaps Rainbow Dash wants to?"
"Sorry, but I'm making a beeline for the cider tent." Dash said "I guess Ricky's on this one."
"I'm totally down." Ricky replied "I'm dying to see what freaks you guys out."
"Well, what are we waiting for?" Spike grabbed Ricky's hand, and began pulling.
"Easy, don't rip my arm off." Ricky was having a hard time walking due to the difference in height . Ponies were noticing this, laughing and pointing.
When they approached the entrance, Ricky was surprised to see Mint Condition from the comic shop sitting behind the table in a black robe "Evening, fellow fancolts!" he said "Feeling brave, are you?"
"You know it! I can't wait to see what you guys did this year!" Spike was beside himself "How scary are we talking?"
"Well, after the success we had last time, there's gonna be a cash prize if you can make it to the end. 100 bits." Mint paused to let two mares in "So, how about it? You guys in?"
"You had me at cash prize. Coming, Spike?" Ricky started to go inside.
"Totally!" Spike ran ahead, nearly knocking Ricky over.
***
"Wow...darker than I thought." Ricky fumbled for his lighter "How you doing, Spike?"
"Where are you?! OOF!!" A loud crash came from his left "Darn walls..."
As Ricky brought the flame to life, he took a hurried step back, on account of the grinning Pegasus skeleton that hung before him "Jesus...I was NOT expecting that." He reached down to help Spike up "Man, I didn't realize ponies could be this twisted."
"No wonder Rarity didn't want to come in. I'm starting to regret this myself..." Spike held onto Ricky's hand. Slowly, the two of them began to walk, Ricky feeling around in the dark.
A jet of steam suddenly shot up before them, followed by a loud cackle. Suddenly, Ricky's hand brushed something warm "EEEEK!!" a loud shriek sounded as the pony he touched jerked away. Spike screamed and ran, leaving Ricky to try and collect his wits.
"Wh-who's there?!" A familiar sounding voice asked. Ater a moment's thought, Ricky realized who the owner was "Derpy? Is that you?"
"R-ricky?" The cross-eyed Pegasus came into view, the dim lights allowing Ricky to see her a bit better. She was dressed in a princess costume, but it appeared to be a little small on her. He decided not to say anything, and walked up to her.
"Hey. Look, I am really, really sorry about that. I was with Spike, and...damn it, where did he go?" The dragon was long gone by now, and there didn't appear to be anypony else inside the haunted house.
"I didn't even know he was with you. Anyway...I'm glad I ran into you here." She glanced down, doing her best not to make eye contact with Ricky, a slight blush on her cheeks.
"Really? Why, were you getting freaked out? I don't blame you, this place is creepy as hell." Ricky leaned against the wall and removed his mask. Derpy shook her head "Well, yes and no. I...wanted to talk to you about something."
Ricky found it strange that Derpy would want to ask him something out of the blue. While he was on good terms with her, he didn't really talk to her that much, apart from when she brought mail to his work "Okay, I guess I'm not going anywhere anytime soon. What's up?"
"I...um...wanted to know if you were considering...this is really hard to say..." The mailmare was shuffling her hooves at this point "For the last couple of weeks...well, since I first met you at Pinkie's party, I...well, that is to say...I wanted to know if you would be..."
Suddenly, Ricky clued in to what she was on about. He took a deep breath and said "Derpy, are you the one Twilight was talking about? Who, you know..." It was his turn to look away awkwardly "...has a crush on me." he blurted out.
"Well, I...yeah. I'm really, really sorry for springing it on you like this, what with you being a human, and...is it okay with you?" Derpy had removed her hat at this point and was staring intently at Ricky, her eyes pointing in the same direction for once.
"I...I'm honored, don't get me wrong, but...why me? I mean, I don't think I've done anything that quite makes me stand out. Honestly, ever since Twilight mentioned this to me the other day, I've been wondering why anypony would want to have a crush on me. So, out of any guy in Ponyville, why pick me?" Ricky pulled out a smoke, figuring that in a stressful situation like this one, haunted house rules could be ignored.
Derpy turned a deep shade of red, closed her eyes and nodded "It's just...you're always nice to me when I bring the mail. You never make jokes about me, and you...you just make my day ten times better. When I'm around you, I feel like somepony really cares about me."
Ricky couldn't believe he was having this discussion, especially with Derpy. He really didn't want to hurt her feelings, so he knew he would have to let her down as lightly as possible "Look, Derpy...I'm flattered that you feel this way about me, I really am. But...well, there's really no other way I can say this, but it just wouldn't be able to work between us.
Derpy's eyes teared up slightly, but she just wiped them and continued "I had a feeling you would say that, but...I wanted you to hear me out anyway. I know that everypony would think it's really, really weird, but I just didn't want to keep this to myself anymore. And...I figured you would be the only person I could trust to break it to me easily."
"Derpy, I appreciate your feelings, and I'm sorry I can't return them properly...but I'll always love you as a friend, no matter what happens."
Derpy smiled and nodded, while Ricky kneeled down and pulled her into a hug "Don't give up on yourself just yet, okay?"
"I won't. Thank you so much for understanding, Ricky. This is the happiest I've been in ages." She sat back, smiling.
"I'm glad I can help with that." Ricky stood and pulled on his mask "But in the meantime, what do you say to getting out of this place and enjoying the rest of the party together?"
Derpy smiled "I would love to."
***
"So, how did it go in there?" Twilight asked. She and Ricky were sitting on a hay bale, observing the festivities. Ricky looked at her, surprised "What, you mean how scary was it?"
"Come on, I wasn't born yesterday. I saw you and Derpy come out of the house together, and you both looked to be a little on the red side, if you ask me." Twilight gave Ricky a sly, knowing look.
"Well...I had to turn her down. For obvious reasons, of course." Ricky pulled out a smoke, and made a mental note to stop at the smoke shop the next day. Twilight nodded understandingly "I figured you might. How did she take it? I hope she wasn't too upset."
"She was pretty disappointed, but she was alright with what I said. I told her that I didn't want to ruin a great friendship with something like this, and she seemed pretty happy with that."
"Really? I'm so relieved to hear it." Twilight replied "She's a bit on the fragile side, so things like this tend to have a pretty strong impact on her."
"I guess all I can do is just give her a little time to get her thoughts together." Ricky leaned back, then glanced over to where a tall, dark alicorn with a blue mane stood, laughing with a group of ponies "So, on a side note, am I gonna get a chance to meet this Princess Luna or what?"
"Don't worry, she requested you personally. She just wanted to have a chance to say hello to everypony first." Twilight hopped down "Well, I'm going to go see if I can find Spike. Do you want to come?"
"No, I think I'll sit here a little while longer. I'll catch up with you guys in a bit here." Ricky said. Twilight shrugged and headed off.
Pulling his mask off, Ricky sighed. He wondered how the next few days were going to go, and he slammed his hand down in frustration, forgetting that he was sitting on a solid block of hay. Holding it in pain, he cursed under his breath, praying for a break of some kind.
"Here." A bottle of cider suddenly appeared out of nowhere, causing Ricky to jump in surprise. As he caught his breath, he looked to over to see who it was.
"Oh...it's you."
Chapter 19: Nightmare Night, pt. 3
"Overheard you and Twilight talkin' the other day." Big Mac said, not making eye contact. Ricky was put off by the fact that this was the most he had ever heard him say at once.
"Really? I didn't see you anywhere around the place." Ricky took a sip of cider. Mac nodded "Eeyup. I was just outside the window."
"Okay...how come you listened in on us? Not that I'm pissed off or anything, but I'm just curious as to why you of all ponies would take interest in my problems."
Mac shrugged "You're good to my sisters. Anypony who's kind to my kinfolk is a good spirit in my books. Speakin' of my sister, AJ's been meanin' to send this your way."
Ricky was surprised to suddenly find a small box full of bright green buds stuffed into his hand "Wow...when did she go out and get this?"
"Went into the forest a couple of days ago. But anyway, back to what I was gettin' at. I know what you just had to go through with Muffins over there." Big Mack turned and spat into a mud puddle. Ricky was confused at what he said "Muffins? No, you must be mistaken. I was with..."
"Everypony calls her Derpy, but her real name is Muffins. I don't believe in usin' undeserved monikers."
"Okay, I get that. But why do you want to know what happened between us?" Ricky pocketed the box and took a sip of cider.
"Well, she happens to be a friend. I know I don't talk much, but I do listen. You'd be surprised how many ponies vent to me." Mac said, turning to Ricky "Anyhow, she was tellin' me about how she wanted to tell you how she felt, and how she was plannin' on doing it tonight."
"Really? So...what did you end up saying to her?" Ricky pulled out another smoke, turning away as he lit up.
"I told her that there was a pretty strong chance that you were gonna say no. But, she kept insisting that it would be just fine, that you might give her a chance." Mac sighed "She's a nice girl, but some things tend to fly over her head."
"Oh, damn...now I feel even worse about this whole mess." Ricky groaned, wishing he could go back in time and stay out of the haunted house.
"Don't beat yourself up. Frankly, I'm glad that you turned her down." Mac smiled.
"Really? Why, do you...?" Ricky asked, dreading the answer.
"Naw, she's a little too young for me. I prefer more my age demographic." As Mac said this, he glanced over at Cheerilee, who was dressed as a witch. She caught his eye and winked. Ricky decided to ignore this action "I didn't want anypony to start making fun of her more than they already do, not to mention you've built yourself a nice little rep in this town."
"I see where you're coming from with this. The last thing I would want is for ponies to go back to looking at me weird. Not to mention there's Der...I mean, Muffins' feelings to think about as well." Ricky drained his bottle of cider and set it down.
"Eeyup." Big Mac sighed "I've just seen too many of ma friends get hurt in the past. I'd rather not see two more go down that road again."
"Well...thanks, man. I know we don't really socialize much, but I really appreciate you taking the time to help me get this off my chest. The last thing I wanted was to have this sitting on my mind for the rest of the night." Ricky pitched his smoke after putting it out on his boot.
"No problem. Glad I could help ya out. Uh oh..." Mac hopped down from the bale of hay "Princess is comin' this way."
"Huh? Why, what's the matter with Twilight?"
"She's alright. It's Luna that weirds me out. Had an...interesting encounter with her at a festival last a couple months ago." He clapped Ricky on the back "Cheer up, partner. It'll blow over in no time." He hurried off, not looking back.
"Ah! At last, I have an opportunity to converse with thee, human!" Princess Luna approached him, flanked by a pair of black pegasi in sinister looking armor. Ricky stood in a haste, prepared to bow. Luna suddenly stepped back, clearly surprised at his height.
"Wow. I was NOT expecting you...I mean, thy stature is impressive, otherworldly creature!" She drew herself up to full height, and Ricky just couldn't help but snicker slightly. Luna narrowed her eyes at this "Does thee have an issue with ourselves?"
"It's just...god, I'm so sorry, but...after meeting your sister, I wasn't expecting you to talk like Shakespeare. It's...well, it's kind of funny." Ricky closed his eyes, ready to be struck by a guard.
"Oh, darn it...I REALLY need to start working at that. Twilight told me it was pretty off-putting." Luna sighed "I guess I do need to start getting with the times..."
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you, your highness! I sometimes speak without thinking, you see, and you being a princess and all...well, I mean I've already met two princesses, but the point is..." Ricky could feel his foot going deeper and deeper into his mouth. Princess Luna stared at him, then began to laugh.
"Okay, you've officially gotten into my good books. Anypony who fumbles their words that badly has GOT to make me look good in comparison." Luna held a hoof out "What is thy name, human?"
"Oh! Ricky, your highness. It's a real honor to meet you." Ricky took her hoof and gave it a shake. Luna shrugged "Well, I know I'm nowhere near as impressive as my sister, of course, but I suppose it's nice to feel appreciated once in a while. Will you walk the grounds with me, Ricky?"
"Sure, I'd love to." Ricky swept his hair back and placed his mask back on. Luna turned to her bodyguards "You two may take a break for a bit." Grinning like children, the two guards ran off in the direction of the hay rides. Luna chuckled at this "I must say, for such serious stallions, Nightshade and Eclipse are a pleasure to have around. They deserve to have some down time once in a while." The two of them began strolling idly along.
"All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy." Ricky replied, and Luna gave him a curious look "Might I enquire as to who this Jack fellow is?"
"It's a quote I heard in a movie...it's not that important, really." Ricky said quickly "So, I was wondering...what sort duties do you do? I mean, I understand that Celestia raises the sun, so...what about you?"
"To be honest, I don't really do as much as my sister does. I mean, I am in charge of raising the moon and keeping an eye on everypony's dreams. But, apart from that, nothing that you would exactly call impressive." A couple of fillies bowed to her and wished her a happy Nightmare Night, and Luna returned the gesture.
"Wait...you're telling me that you have a badass superpower and you don't consider it to be impressive?! I mean, ever since I was a kid and I saw 'Nightmare on Elm Street'...well, I wasn't technically allowed to, but I watched it anyway...I've always wanted to be able to enter a dream, if only once!" Ricky stopped to take a breath, and saw Luna giving him a surprised look.
"Well, if you're that impressed by my ability, I would be happy to demonstrate it for you sometime," she replied.
"Really? You're going to let me enter the dream world with you?!" Ricky was beginning to feel like a kid again, but he didn't care. Luna giggled "My, such enthusiasm...Of course. I would love for you to share in the experience. Frankly, I've been dying to have some company lately. It gets rather boring being the only one awake sometimes."
"Wow, this is awesome! Is next Saturday cool with you? Please tell me that it is." Ricky crossed his fingers, and Luna laughed at his antics "Oh, I suppose that would be alright. I'll make arrangements for you to be allowed in, does that sound good?"
"Totally! Man, this is gonna kick so much ass..."
"I'm glad you're excited. Now, I believe that this is supposed to be a party, and that we're supposed to be dancing right now!" Luna made her way over to where Vinyl and her friend were pumping out tunes, and joined in the group of ponies that were moving along to the beat. Ricky couldn't help but grin, until he felt Luna's aura envelop him and pull him over to join her.
"Son of a..."
***
"Man, that was AWESOME as always!!" Spike said, hurrying to catch up with Twilight and the others. His helmet dragged behind him, bouncing along.
"I'm glad you had fun, Spike, but you might want to pick that up. It's gotta go back to the rental shop tomorrow, remember?" Twilight said. She seemed to be a little put down.
"Oh, cheer up, Twilight. Your Starswhirl costume NEVER wins, remember?" Rarity said sympathetically, but got only a blank stare in return. Ricky thought about chiming in, but the second prize moneybag hitting his leg told him to just stay out of this one.
"So what if you didn't win? You still had a blast, didn't you?" Rainbow Dash asked, gliding beside her friend "I mean, so what if..."
"Just knock it off already." Twilight muttered, walking a little faster. Rarity slowed down so that she was keeping pace with Ricky "I really don't have the heart to tell her that technically, princesses don't qualify for the costume contest."
"Yeah, best that she doesn't know that one." Ricky replied, watching as Spike tried to reassure the purple alicorn. He seemed to be having no luck whatsoever.
"Oh! I nearly forgot. Ricky, I've been meaning to ask you...what's your work schedule looking like next week?" Rarity asked. Ricky was taken off guard for a second, but quickly said "Well, I've got Monday and Wednesday off. Why do you ask?"
"Well, I do hate to be a bother, but I unfortunately must work late myself on Monday, and I won't be able to pick Sweetie Belle up from school. You wouldn't be against collecting her for me, would you?" Rarity batted her eyelashes, and Ricky smirked at her gesture.
"Yeah, I don't mind. I really didn't have much planned anyway." Ricky replied, and Rarity sighed with relief "Oh, thank you so much! I promise I will make it up to you when I get the first opportunity."
"Don't worry about it, I'm happy to help." They had arrived at Ricky's place at this point. Rarity smiled happily "Wonderful. Please make sure she has her homework this time, would you?"
"No prob. Man...I don't wanna be rude, but..." Ricky pointed at the front door, and Rarity nodded "Of course, darling, you must be exhausted! Again, thank you so, so..."
"He said it was cool, Rarity! Geez..." Rainbow interjected, annoyed "Let the guy get some sleep, would ya?"
"You don't have to be rude...You take care, darling, alright?" Rarity said, giving Rainbow Dash a dirty look. Ricky nodded "Alright. I'll see you on Monday, ok?"
"Wonderful. Good night!" Rarity headed off down the road, Rainbow Dash in pursuit. Yawning, Ricky pulled his mask off again and let himself in. He couldn't hear Bulk Biceps' thundering snores, so he didn't bother tip-toeing up the stairs. Tossing his tunic to the floor, he collapsed onto the bed, and within minutes was sound asleep.
Chapter 20: Music in the Park
Ricky was beginning to grow frustrated. He was just a few words from completing the crossword puzzle, but he had no idea what a "_____ Apple, 3 Letters" was. Tapping his pencil against his mug, he racked his brain.
"Everything alright over here?" Pinkie came over, a pot of coffee in hoof. Ricky shook his head "Honestly, this is really starting to get on my nerves. Have you got any idea what..."
"Zap apple." Pinkie answered quickly, refilling Ricky's mug as she did.
"Oh, thanks." Ricky glanced at the clock, and was pleased to see that he had at least 20 minutes before he had to go to the school. Filling in the missing word, he gave up on the puzzle and leaned back in his seat. He was the only one at Sugarcube Corner, Pinkie not included. Watching the hyper pink mare bustle around, Ricky decided to break the silence "So...anything new with you?"
"Huh? Oh! Well...not really, no. Which, frankly, surprises me just as much as it might surprise you, seeing as it's soooooo rare when absolutely NOTHING new happens in my life. I mean, this one time I just sat there for like, 5 hours, not moving a single, solitary muscle, and nothing!!" Pinkie seemed to be completely perturbed by this "What do you make of that, Ricky?"
"Well...I can't exactly say I've ever sat around for five hours...oh, wait, no, there was that Power Rangers marathon with my buddy...but, I'd say maybe you need to be the one to take action and make something new happen to you." Ricky took a mouthful of coffee, draining nearly half the mug in his haste.
"Hmmm...sounds like fun. Got any ideas?" Pinkie hopped over to him and sat. Ricky tried to think of something "I dunno...how about starting a collection?"
"What, you mean like Fluttershy and her animals?"
"No, I honestly don't know what to classify Fluttershy and her animals as. But, I mean something practical, like, collecting fancy stones or something like that." Ricky took another sip. Pinkie nodded "Yeah, Twilight has suggested this SO many different times, but I've just never taken her seriously. But, if somepony else suggests it too...why not give it a try?"
"There you go, problem solved." Ricky glanced at the clock, deciding it was time to get going "I don't mean to be rude, Pinkie, but I promised Rarity I'd go pick Sweetie Belle up." He fumbled in his pocket and tossed a couple of bits on the table, but Pinkie pushed one of them back to him "You get the friends and family discount!"
"Really? Cool." Ricky stood and made his way to the door. Before he left, he turned and asked "Hey, do you suppose you could loan me a thermos on Saturday night? I'm...working late, that day." He didn't want to let on that Luna was going to take him on a dream world journey. Pinkie nodded happily "Of course! Just come by before we close, okay?"
"Sweet, thanks, Pinkie!" Ricky walked out, waving back as he did. Pulling out a smoke, he starting walking up in the direction of the school.
***
As Ricky made his way up the path, he could see the bell tower in the distance. Pinching his smoke out for the walk back, he smiled as he could hear the sounds of colts and fillies happily laughing and talking. It made him think of his own school days, trading Pokémon cards and arguing over who got to be the Green Ranger. As he approached the building, he saw Sweetie Belle sitting on the steps, waiting for him.
"Hey, Ricky!" She waved happily. Ricky walked up to her "Hey, Sweetie, you ready to go?"
"Yep!" She hopped down and the two of them began making their way to the gate.
"So, where's Scootaloo and Apple Bloom?" Ricky asked, looking around for them. Sweetie replied "Applejack came and took Apple Bloom to the dentist, and Scootaloo's got detention."
"Really? What did she do?" Ricky asked, slightly surprised.
"Oh, nothing too bad. She just fell asleep during the last hour, so Miss Cheerilee's making her stay behind and take down what she missed."
"Ah, gotcha." Ricky said "So, what time does Rarity expect you home?"
"Usually right away, but she said it was okay if we took our time. I don't blame her, what with all the work she's been doing lately." Sweetie replied "Sometimes she's too nice for her own good, and it catches up with her."
"Yeah, I hear ya. So, what do you want to do in the meantime? We could go see Twilight." Ricky suggested, but Sweetie quickly shook her head "No, she'll just want me to get a jumpstart on my homework. Plus, Spike never stops asking about my sister."
"Okay...Fluttershy's?"
"I think she's doing a wildlife inventory today, so it probably wouldn't be a good idea." Sweetie replied. Ricky shrugged at this "Well, I can't really think of anything else. I really don't have much to do at my place, and I doubt you'd be allowed in the Rusty Horseshoe..."
"Nope. Rarity says that place is for vagrants and riff raff anyway." She pursed her lips and began to think. Suddenly, something hit her "I know, let's go to the park! It's SOOOOOO pretty there, plus there's so much cool stuff going on there all the time!"
"Now that I can definitely enjoy. I always did love hanging out at parks. So, how far is it from here?"
"Not that far at all, actually. It's literally right over there!" Sweetie Belle pointed in the direction of a stone archway surrounded by trees "Come on, let's go!"
"Alright, just don't run this time, okay? I can't keep up with you ponies very well, having only two legs and all." Ricky stated, and Sweetie nodded "Don't worry, I'll keep pace."
They walked along for a moment or two, and slowly the park entrance loomed before them. As they got closer, Ricky could see carvings of Celestia and Luna on either side, with "Ponyville Park" carved in a fancy script over top. Inside, Ricky glimpsed ponies running, laughing, etc.
"Well, what are we waiting for?" Sweetie Belle raced in, and Ricky jogged after her, stopping to survey the area. It was far more natural than any of the parks he had been to back in his world. The trees were full of wildlife, and flowers of every size, shape and color grew in large quantities. Snack carts were positioned at different points, the vendors calling out to the various ponies that milled about. In the middle of it all was a large bandstand where a classical quartet played. Ricky recognized the cellist that Vinyl was playing with on Nightmare Night.
"Wow, this is beautiful!" Ricky marveled. Sweetie Belle grinned "I thought you'd like it! So, what do you want to do first? We can go play with the bunnies, play by the lake..."
"I'm actually really enjoying this music. I wouldn't mind listening for a moment or two." Ricky replied, making his way over to the performers. Sweetie Belle caught up to him "Yeah, they play here a once or twice a week, but they never tell us when. That way, it's a surprise every time."
"That's pretty cool of them." Ricky wondered how the four ponies were playing their instruments without hands. Either way, it didn't matter due to the high quality of the music. Slowly, the piece drew to a close, and several ponies applauded. The cellist got up from her seat and addressed them "Thank you for that kind reception. We will be taking a short interlude, and shall commence in fifteen minutes time."
"Think she'd be willing to say hello? I wanted to compliment her on her playing." Ricky asked, and Sweetie shrugged "I don't know, to be honest. I met her once with my sister, and she seemed kind of stuck up."
"Really? You think so?" Ricky watched as Octavia set her cello in its case and make her way down the stairs "She doesn't seem that bad."
"Well, you're welcome to try, but don't look at me when she snaps at you." Sweetie replied.
"You know what? I'm gonna do it. Back in a second." Ricky headed in Octavia's direction, and caught up with her by the soda cart "Excuse me, do you have a second?"
Octavia started a bit when she saw who had addressed her, but composed herself right away "Oh, hello. You're that human, if I am not mistaken?"
"Yep, name's Ricky."
"Charmed. I am Octavia Melody, top cellist in Ponyville. May I ask as to what you wish from me?"
"Oh, nothing, really. I just wanted to say that you play really well, was all." Ricky said. Octavia looked a tad surprised "Really? I imagined that an employee of Vinyl's would not be interested in my type of music."
"I happen to like all kinds of music, as a matter of fact. Besides, I saw you and Vinyl jamming together at the Nightmare Night party."
"Well, when one lives with a dj, they tend to get creative once in a while." Octavia said "However, she chooses the most inappropriate times to work on her material."
"Yeah, she has a tendency to do that at work. Especially when she's got me alphabetizing albums."
"Hmph, figures. Um, I'm sorry, but were you not with a filly a couple of moments ago?" Octavia asked, causing Ricky to realize "Oh, damn, I forgot about Sweetie Belle...I should probably get back to her."
"Might I ask as to why you didn't bring her over with you? I'm not adverse to children." Octavia followed Ricky to where Sweetie Belle sat waiting impatiently.
"Ugh, FINALLY. I thought you'd never stop...oh...hello." Sweetie trailed off when she noticed Ricky's companion. The cellist stepped forward, smiling "Hello, darling. Have you been enjoying the music?"
"Oh...yes, it was really nice." Sweetie replied awkwardly. Octavia looked a bit closer at her "I can't help but feel that I've met you before..."
"Well, I know my sister's done some work for you before..." Sweetie began, but Octavia interrupted her "Oh yes, you're Sweetie Belle! I'm terribly sorry, but I haven't been by your sister's boutique in quite some time."
"That's okay! I'm surprised that you even remembered my name, actually."
"But of course! As I recall, service aside, you were the most delightful part of my visit." Octavia said, which caught Sweetie Belle off guard "Really? Do you mean that?"
Octavia looked surprised that she would say this "Why, yes, dear. Just between the three of us, I frankly found your sister to be polite, but rather stuck up." Ricky smirked at this, trying not to giggle, while Sweetie did a double take "Now, I'm terribly sorry, but I must get back on stage. It was lovely speaking with the both of you."
"Pleasure was all ours." Ricky replied, and Octavia started heading up the stairs to her cello. Sweetie was still looking surprised, so Ricky decided that this was the ideal time to ask her something "Hey...Sweetie Belle?"
Sweetie shook her head to clear it, then turned to Ricky "Yeah?"
"Just out of curiosity, was Rarity the one who started that rumor about her being a snob?"
"Actually...come to think of it, it was."
"Gotta love irony" Ricky replied. They turned to the stage upon hearing the sounds of a violin, and settled back to watch the quartet perform.
***
"RARITY!!! I'm home!!!!" Sweetie Belle charged through the front door. Ricky stared at the state of the room, which looked as if a bomb had gone off. Fabric was everywhere, and dressmaker dummies were lying on their sides. A moment later, a disheveled Rarity entered. Her mane was a mess, and she looked exhausted. Yawning, she approached them "Sorry about the mess...how was your afternoon?"
"Awesome! We went to the park, and the musicians were playing again." Sweetie walked over to the couch and sat.
"Is that so? I enjoy their music, by I don't much care for their cellist's attitude." Rarity flopped down next to her sister "I've waited all day for this."
"Yeah, you look pretty beat. I should probably get out of your hair." Ricky began backing towards the door.
"It has been a rather difficult day. I had to do touch up work for the town's marching band..." Rarity groaned "I don't want to hear the word 'uniform' for quite some time."
"Man, you should take a holiday. Do you have beaches here?" Ricky leaned against the doorframe.
"I would love to, believe me. But I just never have the time..." Rarity's eyelids began drooping. Sweetie Belle shook her head at this "That does it, sis, you're going to bed!"
"But...I have to clean, and..." Rarity yawned, and Sweetie hopped down "No buts! You're passing out."
"She is right, it'd be pointless to argue." Ricky agreed. Sighing, Rarity nodded "Alright, she wins."
She staggered to her feet, her sister coming to guide her up the stairs "Thanks again for today, Ricky! We gotta go again when the others are free." Sweetie said.
"Definitely. I'll just let myself out, okay?"
"Ok, sounds great. See ya!" Sweetie waved at him, then began guiding her sister down the hall. Chuckling, Ricky ducked through the door and closed it behind him.
Chapter 21: The Night Before
Ricky glanced at the clock on the wall and sighed in annoyance. It was only 3:30, meaning another hour and a half till he was off work. His trip through the dreams with Luna was tomorrow, and he wanted to get to bed at a reasonable time.
"I know, Friday always drags on." Vinyl remarked "You just wanna clock out and go party, y'know?"
"Huh? Oh, yeah, sure." Ricky sat down and hoped something would make the rest of his shift go faster. Vinyl stood and stretched "I'm just gonna run over and grab some coffee. Want anything?"
"Yeah, sure. Just a medium, 2 creams."
"Alright, back in a few." The door shut behind her, and Ricky yawned, leaning back in his chair. Almost instantly, the bells chimed.
"Um...h-hello? I can come back if it's a bad time..."
Ricky was almost shocked to see Fluttershy nervously looking around. The yellow Pegasus didn't strike him as a music fan, but that didn't really matter.
"Hey, Fluttershy, what brings you by?" He leaned on the counter, the sound of his voice causing her to jump.
"Oh! Um, hello, Ricky. I didn't know you worked here." She said, blushing lightly.
"Yup. Hasn't been too bad so far. So, did you have anything specific you wanted, or...?"
"Well, um...I was hoping to get the new Sapphire Shores album, if it was possible." Fluttershy glanced away, as if her taste in music embarassed her.
"Ok...well, I know that's a popular one, but we might have a couple left." Ricky came out from behind the counter and headed to the pop section. Fluttershy hesitated, then slowly followed him.
"Let's see...here we go." Ricky pulled out the album for what felt like the 1000th time that week.
"YES!! Eep!" Fluttershy quickly shut her mouth and blushed "I mean...yay?"
Ricky stared, trying to comprehend what he just saw "Um...ok...so, is there anything else you were after?"
"No, just the record, thank you." Fluttershy walked up to the counter. Ricky headed around to the register.
"So that'll be...20 bits." He opened it up while Fluttershy slid the money over.
"I can't wait to hear this...I've been waiting months for it to come out."
"Really? I've always preferred classic rock and metal, myself." Ricky bagged it up and handed it to her with a receipt.
"I've never liked it myself. I find it too angry." Fluttershy placed her purchase in her saddlebag.
"Well, to each their own." Ricky sat back down "So, you got anything going on later?"
"I'll mostly be tidying up, but then I'm visiting with Applejack. Are you doing anything interesting?"
"Nah, just gonna relax and then hit the sack early. I'm visiting Canterlot with Twilight tomorrow, something about a proper welcome." Ricky didn't want her to know he'd be visiting dreams. He figured the thought of him possibly walking in uninvited was too much for her.
"Oh, you're so lucky. It's absolutely beautiful there." Fluttershy sighed "But, I hate to be rude, but I should get going. Angel gets cranky if I'm late with his dinner."
"Gotcha. I should restock those Shores albums before Vinyl gets back, anyway." Ricky walked with her to the door "Tell the girls I say hi, alright?"
"Alright, I will. Enjoy Canterlot." Fluttershy walked out, and Ricky shook his head "Man, that was awkward."
He headed to the back room to where the new albums were stacked and grabbed yet another case of Sapphire Shores. Sighing, he carried it back to the shelves and began to restock once more. A few moments later, the door opened again "FINALLY! I've been looking all over for you."
Spike walked up to where Ricky was working "Man, more Sapphire Shores? Seems I've been hearing her all week."
"Not a fan, eh?" Ricky paused from his task and turned to the dragon, who was rummaging in his bag.
"She has one or two decent songs, but no, not really." Spike replied, still searching "Where is that thing...oh, here we go!" He pulled out a scroll, handing it to Ricky "This came for you earlier."
"Oh, really? Thanks, dude." Ricky unrolled the letter and leaned against a shelf.
"Dear Ricky," the letter began "A carriage will arrive for you and Twilight at approximately 11:00 AM tomorrow morning. Please be waiting outside the palace and be prepared to depart immediately. A banquet will be held in your honor. I will collect you for our journey at approximately 10:00 PM, so again, please be prepared. I look forward to your company. Sincerely, Princess Luna."
"Man, you are so lucky. I've always wanted to go dream hopping. Yeah, Twilight already told me the real reason." Spike said "I've always wanted to know if Rarity dreams of me as well..."
"Easy there, loverboy.If she did, I doubt it'd be the same kind of dream." Rarity tucked his letter away and resumed stacking.
"True...I doubt I'm a dashing hero rescuing her from evil forces in her dreams..." Spike started getting a weird look in his eyes.
"Dude, that's messed up. " Ricky shook his head. Spike snapped out of it "Sorry. That happens. So, do you have some kind of fancy suit you're wearing for this? I mean, it's a royal event and all."
"Actually, I never thought of that. Apart from my Nightmare Night costume, I've only got one set of clothes..." Ricky glanced down at his ratty outfit "I wouldn't want to show up looking like a slob."
"Maybe Rarity could help you out. I mean, she has stallion's clothes as well...I'm sure she could fix up a shirt to fit you." Spike mused "I mean, it''s pretty much the same design."
"And I could get her to let out the leather pants from my costume..." Ricky finished stacking the records and stood "This could work out after all."
"Well, I can go ask her for you right now, that'll save you some time." Spike offered.
"Would you? That'd be awesome." Ricky tossed the empty box in the stockroom and leaned against the counter.
"No problem." As Spike started heading to the door, Ricky suddenly remembered "Oh! Bulk Biceps is home, so could you grab the pants? That way I can just go straight to Rarity's."
"Sure, it's on the way. Well, I guess I'll see you in the morning, huh?"
"You got it. Tell Twilight I say hi."
"Will do. Talk to you later!" Spike hurried out of the shop, and Ricky chuckled, then glanced at the clock.
"Really? It's not even 4?! God damn it...where are you, Vinyl...?"
***
"Well, you were lucky to catch me, darling. I have plans this evening, but an emergency is an emergency." Rarity said, stitching away.
"Again, thank you so much. I really want to make a good impression." Ricky said gratefully, sipping a cup of apple cinnamon tea.
"Oh, it's no trouble, Ricky. All we have to do is broaden the legs on the pants, then the shirt we can figure out. Speaking of which, there's a selection over there, so pick your favorite."
Ricky walked over to the rack and began rifling through. Most of then had sequins and fancy embroidery, but he eventually found a white one with a black vest accompanying it.
"This works, I'd say. What do you think?" Ricky held it up to show Rarity, who seemed a little put off by it.
"Oh...that's classy and all, darling, but it doesn't say royalty. I think one of these might work better..." She started to levitate a sparkly one, but Ricky shook his head.
"No, too flashy. Besides, this one is classy, you said so yourself." Ricky began trying it on, and was surprised to find that it fit perfectly. As he fastened the vest, Rarity was taken aback.
"Well! I was wrong. As simple as it is, I must say you wear it very well."
"Really?" Ricky turned to look in the mirror, and was pleased at what he saw. Rarity nodded "Absolutely. Now, let me just finish these pants and we'll see how this turned out!"
"Sweet." Ricky began browsing the racks again, and gave a low whistle upon discovering an elegant black cape with a silver space pattern "Whoa...this is just...wow! Hey, Rarity could I possibly...?"
"Hmmm? Oh! I completely forgot about this old thing...made it for a play but they never used it. Feel free to take it."
"Awesome." Ricky put it on and threw one side behind his shoulder, Captain Marvel style. A few seconds later, Rarity came over with his pants "Oh, my! You are going to be the envy of all the royal subjects tomorrow. Now, put these on and let's see the ensemble." She turned around so he could change.
Once Ricky was done, he took a step back to admire himself "Damn! I'm not a vain guy, but I'm killing this!"
"I wish I could see the reactions, darling...but, I'm sure they'll be more than positive." Rarity smiled "Well now, I think it's best to get these wrapped up. You'll want to keep them clean, of course."
"Definitely. Again, this is appreciated. What do I owe you for it?" Ricky reached for his money pouch, but Rarity stopped him.
"This is a thank you for taking my sister, alright? Money is unnecessary. However...I wouldn't mind if you would...um..."
"If I what?" Ricky asked, and Rarity sighed "Darling, your hair has bothered me for days. We MUST take care of it if you're to do this. I apologize for my brashness, but..."
"Actually, that's not a bad idea. I could do with a trim." Ricky agreed, only to get a grave look in return.
"Oh, this requires more than a trim, darling..."
***
"I dunno, man, this is gonna take some getting used to. You look like you should be riding waves." Bulk Biceps commented, eyeing Ricky's new look. Ricky shrugged "Yeah, it's corny. But the stylist said that the feathering will fall out in a couple days."
"Regardless, you are gonna have a seriously good time, dude. I went to Canterlot for the Gala several months ago and it RULED!!!"
"Really? That's cool. I've been pretty excited to see the princesses again. Celestia seemed pretty chill." Ricky took a pull off of the pipe that sat beside him and passed it to Bulk, who took a hit and starding coughing.
"Man, I don't know how you can handle this stuff...but anyway, yeah, Celestia and her sister are cool. Celestia's a tad sneaky, but that's all you should watch for." Bulk advised. Ricky cicked an eyebrow "Sneaky in what way?
"She likes to mess with ponies sometimes. I've seen her give Pinkie a run for her money, prank-wise." He said, shaking his head at the offered pipe.
"Thanks. Anything else I should know?" Ricky asked.
"Nothing that really comes to mind...I'm sure Twilight'll fill you in, though." Bulk said, standing and stretching "Well, I'd better turn in. Morning shift tomorrow. Make sure you lock up tomorrow, k?"
"Gotcha. Have a good night, man. I'll see you in a couple days." Ricky lit a smoke as his roommate headed indoors. He stood and strolled to the end of the walkway, leaning against the mailbox. He watched as ponies made their way to whatever they were up to that evening and yawned.
He began wondering if he'd be visiting his friend's dreams, then began wondering exactly what they dreamed about. He had a feeling that Pinkie's dreams had a Willy Wonka vibe, which intrigued him. Ideas running through his head, he headed back to the porch. Picking up his pipe, he pitched his smoke, yawned once more and headed inside.
Chapter 22: A Royal Pain in the Ass
Ricky knocked on Twilight's door and stepped back. He silently urged her to hurry up, when suddenly it swung open and she stood there in her royal attire "Morning, Ricky!"
"Hey, Twi. I'm not too early, am I?" Ricky stepped inside and removed his cape. Twilight shook her head "Nope, your timing is perfect."
"Awesome." He made his way to the sofa and sat down "Any idea when our ride is coming?"
"It should be here in the next 20 minutes or so." Twilighr replied "You must be really excited for this!"
"Got that right. I'm amazed I got to sleep at all." Ricky said "So, is Spike ready yet?"
"He should be. SPIKE!" Twilight called, and the dragon entered a second later, a scroll in hand.
"You don't have to yell..." Spike said crossly "Looking sharp, Ricky!"
"Thanks. Are those more instructions?" Ricky asked, pointing to the scroll. Spike groaned "Well, more like lousy news. It says we're being met by a member of the royal family when we arrive..."
"Really? How is that lousy?"
"You didn't let me finish. It's...ugh...Prince Blueblood." Spike seemed to bristle with rage at the name.
"What's so bad about him?"
Rolling his eyes, Spike said "He's nothing more than a complete jerk, and I know this because he treated Rarity horribly at the Gala last year."
"I'd have to agree with Spike, although I probably would have worded it a bit differently." Twilight said. Ricky was surprised to hear this "Really? Why are they sending him to meet us, then?"
"No idea, but it's best if you just put up with him. It'll only be for a few minutes, so I'm sure you'll be fine." Twilight said "Besides, it'll totally be worth-"
A blast of trumpets sounded from outside "Finally! Let's do this!" Spike said happily, running to the doors. Twilight sighed "Relax, Spike. You don't want to wear yourself out again."
They stepped outside where a large, gold carriage sat, four Pegasus stallions in armour at the helm. A fifth stallion sat inside the carriage. At the sight of him, Twilight lit up "Big brother!"
"Surprise!" The white unicorn said happily, using his magic to open the door "How've you been?"
"Great, but that can wait for now. Shining Armor, this is Ricky, the human we've been hosting! Ricky, this is my older brother!"
"We actually vaguely met already..." Shining Armor said, blushing lightly. Ricky was momentarily confused, then suddenly recalled "Oh yeah, from the bar! Celestia called you a dork."
"Yeah, don't remind me...so, how do you like it here so far?"
"Great! Your sister and her friends have been really good to me. Frankly, I don't give a damn if I ever go back to my world." Ricky said, joining Shining Armor in the carriage "There's nothing much for me to miss, honestly."
"Really? You don't miss your family at- OW! What the hay was that for?" Rubbing his flank, Shining Armor glared at his sister. Twilight glared back "Well, asking a personal question like that, for one."
"I don't care, really. My dad was the only one who gave a damn about me, but he's been dead for four years, and my mom's been shacked up with some rich asshole since. She paid my tuition, sure, but that was really only to get rid of me for several months. Hell, she probably thinks I'm still on that cave tour." Ricky said quietly, pulling out a smoke "So, no. I don't miss my world at all."
"Oh, Ricky..." Twilight's voice hitched, but Ricky shook his head "Don't worry about it. I keep it bottled up for a reason. Besides, I don't want to ruin this for everyone."
"I agree. Look, I'm sorry for bringing that up, Ricky, I-" Shining Armor began, but Ricky stopped him "Again, it's ok."
"If you say so. Alright, team, let's move out!"
At the sound of Shining Armor's voice, the stallions pulling the carriage suddenly took off into the air, sending Ricky back against his seat. As he regained his composure, he stared in amazement at the ground disappearing, and instantly forgot about what they were discussing, as if his cares were literally drifting away...
***
"Arriving from Ponyville, Princess Twilight Sparkle and company!" The announcer said. The four of them walked along the hall, the royal guards standing to attention. At the other end, a tall, white unicorn stallion was gazing into a mirror held by an attendent.
"Ugh! This mirror is unacceptable!" Ricky heard the unicorn say as they approached "It doesn't flatter me at ALL!"
"Um...it's a mirror, your highness..." the attendent stammered "H-how else is it..."
"Oh, forget it! I have a public to greet." Tossing his mane, the stallion stepped forward "I see you are in awe due to my presence. I don't blame you in the slightest."
Ricky just stared at him, a half-disgusted, half-shocked look on his face. Noticing this, Twilight sighed and said "Ricky, this is Prince Blueblood. "
"Honored, I'm sure." Blueblood said, extending a hoof. Ricky shook his head clear, saw what was happening and grasped it, saying "It's a pleasure. I-"
The next thing he knew, Ricky was on the ground, bleeding from the lip. Blueblood was frantically waving his hoof "What makes you think you have the right to touch me, creature?!"
"What the fuck, man?!" Ricky tried to stand, but was dazed from the blow. Spike ran to help him while Twilight faced Blueblood angrily "What in the hay was that for?! He was trying to be polite!!"
"Polite? POLITE?! In what universe is trying to defile one's hooves considered polite?" Blueblood demanded "He's lucky I don't have him imprisoned for this!"
"For touching your hoof?! And I suppose it'd be fine if he had been kissing it?"
"Well, it'd certainly be-"
"ENOUGH!!!!!"
Twilight and Blueblood jumped back as the doors slammed open, revealing Princess Celestia. She looked downright furious "Would somepony please tell me what is the cause of this?!"
"Ricky hurt his lip, ma'am." Spike said innocently. This got Ricky smirking, but the pain made him stop abruptly.
"Ricky tried to shake Blueblood's hoof, your excellency." Shining Armor said "As a result, your nephew felt it was necessary to strike Ricky."
"Completely untrue! This peasant all but tackled me due to-"
"Oh, that is complete horse-"
"SILENCE!!!" Celestia took a deep breath "Are you alright, Ricky?"
"I'll live." Groaning, Ricky stood. One of the guards handed him an ice pack, Ricky nodding his thanks.
"Now, please tell me what really happened."
A moment later, Celestia was nodding "I see. Thank you." She abruptly faced Blueblood "I honestly don't know why I put up with you."
"Um...Auntie?" Blueblood asked meekly, but Celestia held his lips shut with her magic.
"Now, you listen here, Blueblood. Regardless of what you may believe, he is our guest of honor for the weekend. Therefore, you will treat him with the UTMOST respect. Do you understand?"
"Mhm!"
"Excellent. Now, Ricky: Hit him back."
"Uh...what?" Ricky was surprised at this, but saw Celestia give him a quick wink. He quickly caught on "Alright, if you think that's fair."
Balling up a fist, he stepped forward. Blueblood yelped and tried to run, but he was cornered "Auntie, please, I'm sorry!!"
"Too late." Ricky brought his fist back, and Blueblood shut his eyes and clenched his teeth. Ricky swung...
***
"So, it was merely a jest, then?" asked Fancy Shmancy, sipping his tea.
"Course. Why would I want to hit him? I'd look like an even bigger jerk than he did." Ricky replied. The two of them sat near the end of the long banquet with Shining Armor and his wife, Princess Cadance. At the other end, Twilight was laughing it up with Princess Celestia. Blueblood was nowhere to be seen. Ricky drained his drink and continued "Besides, the old punch-turned-cheek pat is a classic. He took off like a bullet."
"Quite befitting of a fool like him." Fancy chuckled "Excuse me a moment, would you?" He got up from his seat.
"Do what you gotta do." Ricky poured himself another glass of cider, while Princess Cadance leaned over "So, tell me, Ricky, how long will you be staying in Canterlot?"
"Just for the weekend. I'm going to be accompanying Princess Luna on her rounds tonight, and then whatever tomorrow holds."
"Well, there will be a small ball held tomorrow, so I hope you brought your dancing shoes." Cadance giggled, causing Ricky to shake his head "Worst dancer ever, right here. I can't even do the Y.M.C.A."
"The what, now?"
"It's a group dance...kind of irritating, really. Anyhow, I'll probably just mingle." Ricky stood up "I'm gonna grab a litttle fresh air, do you mind?"
"By all means." Cadance smiled, her husband nuzzling her neck. Ricky decided to make haste before it got awkward. Pulling out his smokes, he made his way to a nearby balcony. There were a couple of ponies with pipes already there.
Sitting on a bench, he lit up and sighed. The reception had gone along smoothly once Blueblood ran off. Ricky was half hoping he would run into him again, but had a feeling the stuck up prince wasn't planning on showing his face again.
Glancing around, Ricky saw that he was alone. He pulled out one of the joints he stashed before leaving, intending on having a couple of quick pulls before rejoining the party. However...
"Message for you, sir!"
"Thanks. And its Ricky!" But the departing messenger didn't hear him. Sighing, Ricky looked at the scroll in his hand.
"Ricky- Be in my chambers in an hour. Luna."
He turned the scroll over, but nothing else was written. Shrugging, he lit his joint, figuring he'd get directions later.
He got halfway through then put the rest out. Standing, he walked over to the balcony edge and looked down. Blueblood was standing with a pair of mares, both of whom looked uncomfortable. Ricky grinned then gave a sharp whistle. Blueblood started, looked up and froze. Ricky waved and clenched his fist and Blueblood ran away, screaming. The mares started laughing, and one of them waved at Ricky. Nodding in return, Ricky turned and headed back inside.
Chapter 23: In Your Dreams, pt. 1
Ricky made his way down the hallway to Luna's room. The party had ended a little while ago, and everypony had gone off their seperate ways, leaving Ricky, Celestia and Twilight. A cup of coffee later, and Ricky was on his own.
He came to a large set of doors and knocked.
"Enter."
Opening them, Ricky whistled in awe at the room he found himself in. He began to wander around, taking it all in at once. A moment later, he heard footsteps approaching.
"Good evening, Ricky. Did you have trouble finding the room at all?" Luna asked, stretching her wings.
"No, the guards are very helpful here. Only took me a few minutes." Ricky walked up to her "So, are we leaving right away?"
"In a few moments, we will. I must first go over a couple of things with you. Have a seat, please." Luna gestured to a gilded chair.
Once Ricky was seated, she began "You must remember to try not to interfere if you can. It is one thing if the occupants of the dream wish to interact with you, but you must not do anything that may affect the outcome."
"Ok...what if it's a nightmare and we get attacked or something?"
"Follow my instructions, and all will be well. Second, you may not tell anypony that you were present in their dreams. It would completely upset the balance."
"Ok...seems pretty straightforward." Ricky stood "Anything else?"
"Yes: Under no circumstances are you to argue with anypony in the dream, no matter what. That would cause an immediate upset, resulting in a potential nightmare sequence." Luna said sternly "So, be perfectly agreeable."
After a moment's pause, Ricky nodded "Ok, I got this. So...how does this work? Am I supposed to grab onto you, or...?"
"No, just take a deep breath and close your eyes."
Ricky did as he was told, and found himself awash in a warm, tingling sensation. A loud, howling wind sounded in his ears, and he thought he envisioned a bright, blue flash...
***
"And now, our reigning champion...APPLEJACK!!!"
The applause was deafening. There had to have been tens of thousands of ponies in attendance. Ricky rubbed his eyes and stared "Holy...what did you just do?"
"A simple bit of Alicorn magic." Luna said "Now, remember: Don't interact with anypony except Applejack, and only when she speaks to you first. Do you understand?"
"Yep, perfectly."
"Good. Stay close to me." Luna lead the way down a steep set of stairs. Nopony paid any attention to them, which left Ricky with an eerie feeling. As they approached the edge of the ring, he saw Applejack parading around, adorned with ribbons and medals. She looked over and saw them, her face lighting up.
"Ricky! Luna! I'm so glad y'all could make it!" Applejack said happily "You're just in time to see me get crowned Rodeo Queen!"
"Really? Without competing at all?" Ricky asked, and Applejack blushed "Well, it's usually a unanimous decision, you know."
"Should have figured, being your dream and all." Ricky chuckled. Luna smiled "Well, we are very pleased for you, Applejack."
"Aw, shucks..." Applejack began, but the announcer interrupted her "Would our Rodeo Queen please take her throne for her coronation?"
"Whoops...duty calls!" Applejack said happily "I'll catch y'all later, alright?"
"Sure thing...your highness." Blushing, Applejack ran to where a huge throne sat. Luna turned to Ricky "Well, shall we continue?"
"Totally. I can see how this is gonna play out, pretty much." Ricky said, nodding "How did I do?"
"You did very well. I can tell this will be a very smooth night." Luna smiled, her horn beginning to glow again "Brace yourself."
Ricky closed his eyes, and heard the howling wind once more.
***
Almost instantly, Ricky was sweating. The jungle ruins they'd landed in were overgrown with foliage, and the air was sweltering.
"Here, allow me." Luna's horn glowed, and suddenly Ricky felt much cooler "Thanks. Where are we?"
"A jungle, clearly." Luna said, giving him a funny look. Ricky sighed "I know it's a jungle, but I mean whose dream is this? It looks like something out of Indiana Jones."
"I am unaware of who the subject is, but we normally will encounter them right about...now."
As if on cue, a loud whirring noise sounded, and a familiar voice rang out "Oh, come ON! Don't tell me you're looking for the Cursed Horseshoe as well!"
Ricky burst out laughing at the sight of Rainbow Dash dressed in a Daring Do outfit, complete with bandaged wing. The Pegasus was accompanied by a tortoise with....with...
"Uh...is that a propeller on your...?"
"Obviously! How else do you expect old Tank to keep up with me?" Rainbow snapped. Tank hovered up to Ricky, who only just noticed that it was wearing a little baseball cap.
"But enough of this! Why are you trying to bogart my treasure?" Rainbow glared at them, and Luna laughed "Calm down, Rainbow Dash. We are merely here to observe."
Rainbow Dash cocked an eyebrow "So you don't care about the treasure at all?"
"No."
Rainbow narrowed her eyes "Okay...so you promise not to try and rip me off in any way, shape or form?"
Ricky shook his head "Wouldn't dream of it."
The blue Pegasus stared at him for a moment, then shook her head "Sorry, I don't buy it. I've read enough Daring Do novels to know how this is gonna play out."
Luna sighed "Now, Rainbow Dash-"
"Sorry, Princess, but I can't trust anyone. " Rainbow flew over to a large, ugly carving on the wall and pressed on a section. A trapdoor opened up below Ricky and Luna, sending them tumbling out of sight.
"GOD DAMN IT, RAINBOW DASH!!!" Ricky yelled, but there was no response. Luna unfurled her wings, and flew beneath him. Ricky landed hard on her back, and Luna grunted from the impact.
"Unfortunately...ugh...you're a bit heavy, so I'm going to need you to..."
"Yeah, I know the drill." Ricky sighed and closed his eyes yet again, the familiar howl of wind coming in fast.
***
The room was small and cramped. Ricky's leg was pinned under Luna's back, while her horn was in dangerous proximity to his eye. Breathing heavily, Ricky said "I am gonna get Rainbow Dash for that."
"I forbid it. The actions of Rainbow in the dream do not reflect her real life actions. Remember that." Luna said sternly "There is a small doorknob down near your feet...can you reach it?"
"I could try." Straining, Ricky managed to give it a turn, but it was locked "Shit..."
Suddenly, as if by magic, a voice rang out "What's the magic word?"
"Wha...Pinkie? Is that you?" Ricky yelled back.
"Maaaaaybe. Did you wanna come in?"
"It'd be appreciated." Luna groaned.
"What do you say?"
"Pinkie, for the love of...I can't feel my legs!" Ricky yelled. Pinkie giggled "Sorry, you'll have to do better than that!"
"Pinkamena Diane Pie, as your princess and superior, I order you to open this door!" Luna demanded, then added as an afterthought "Please."
Suddenly, the sound of many locks being undone came from the other side, and the door slowly creaked open . Ricky's jaw dropped at what he beheld.
The room was enormous, and filled to the brim with cakes, pies, muffins and various sweets of different shapes and sizes. In the middle, an Olympic sized swimming pool was filled with melted chocolate. Ricky tried to comprohend what he was seeing, and turned to Luna for an answer. She just shrugged and said "She likes desserts."
"Look out below!!!!" Ricky looked up sharply and saw Pinkie leaping off of a 50 foot diving board. She fell rapidly, only to freeze just before impact, drifting slowly into the chocolate. A moment later she resurfaced "Come on in, you guys! The chocolate's great!!!"
"I'll pass." Ricky said, walking over to the edge of the pool "So...is this like, your happy place or something?"
"Of course not! Every place is my happy place. This is just something I've wanted to do if I ever won the lottery." Pinkie started doing the backstroke.
"So...you dream about being rich, huh?"
"Just this time. Most of my dreams are about cake!" Pinkie took a huge slurp of chocolate. Ricky was starting to become really confused "But there's cake here...what's the difference?"
"I have a chocolate pool this time, silly!" Pinkie said, as if it were extremely obvious.
Ricky shook his head and turned to Luna "This is really messed up. I don't think I can take this one much longer."
"I must say, I'm impressed you made it this far." Luna chuckled, her horn glowing.
"You're telling me, Princess. See ya, Pinkie. Enjoy...whatever this is." Ricky said, the familiar wind sounding.
"SAY HI TO FLUTTERSHY FOR ME!!!" Pinkie yelled as they vanished.
***
"Woah...where are we now?" Ricky stood slowly, his eyes adjusting to the dim light. It looked as if they were in a huge, stone maze.
"I cannot answer that until we encounter the dreamer." Luna said, stretching her back legs "However, we should stay put until they encounter us. It would decrease our chances of becomming lost."
"Really? We should just sit here?" Ricky asked skeptically "What if they don't find us, or some kind of monster shows up?"
"We will be safe. The laws of the dream world ensure that." Luna sat down, gesturing Ricky to do the same. He looked around, sighed and pulled out the rest of his joint from earlier.
Luna watched as Ricky smoked, an eyebrow raised "I'm curious, what do you gain from doing that?"
"Huh? Oh, a sense of relaxation, for one. It also calms me down if I've been stressing out or anything like that." Ricky replied "Why, you want some?"
"No, thank you. I admit I experimented when I was younger, but that was years ago. My sister and I are strictly business now. " Luna blushed lightly, as if this was a huge scandal. Ricky shrugged "Hey, I'm not judging."
Suddenly, distant footsteps were heard, slowly growing louder. Ricky quickly put his joint out and waved his hand quickly to hide the smell. As he did, he heard voices. It sounded like they were arguing.
"Look, I never told you to turn left, dude."
"Technically, you did. You said to just pick a path already. He chose left."
"Oh, don't take his...woah! How did you guys beat us here?!"
Ricky stared at the owner of the voice, and began laughing like a hyena "What in the hell are you doing, dude?!"
Chapter 24: In Your Dreams, pt. 2
"Knock it off, ok?" Shining Armor said, blushing with embarassment "I haven't gotten a chance to have a game night with the guys in ages. This the only way I'm able to play."
"Sorry, dude...I just was NOT expecting to see...this." Ricky said, gesturing at the group of stallions. They all wore ridiculous costumes, with plastic-looking weapons on their belts.
"Yeah, well, you'd think that with all the hard work I do, I'd be allowed to have a night to hang with my friends." Armor sighed "But, that never happens."
"I think your guard duties would be far more important than playing a silly game, Shining Armor." Luna said "However, I understand your frustration."
"Woah, 'silly game'? I think you underestimate the awesomeness that is Oubliettes and Ogres, your highness." One of Shining Armor's friends stepped forward. Luna gave him a blank stare "I don't believe you're helping his case much."
Ricky just shook his head "Well, whatever floats your boat. So, are you after some kind of treasure or something?"
"Treasure?" Shining mused, then turned to his friend "Hey, 8-Bit, are we looking for that, here?"
"I thought we were looking for a princess." 8-Bit said, scratching his head "Poindexter?"
"Seriously? You guys never let me come up with any of our missions, what makes you think I'd know now?"
"Hold on, I've got it somewhere..." The fourth stallion searched his bag, then blushed "Um...I think we might have a problem, guys..."
"You lost the instructions, didn't you?" 8-Bit said bluntly, Poindexter doing a facehoof in agitation "We've been down here for HOURS..."
"Technically, I left them behind...so no. No, I didn't lose them."
"Don't try weaseling, dude. I'm NOT in the mood for it!" 8-Bit slowly began advancing on his friend. As this went on, Ricky leaned close to Luna.
"Um...is it just me, or is this really pointless?" He whispered. After a moment, Luna nodded "Yes. I must admit, their ideas of dreams are somewhat...lacking."
"Yeah...think we should move on?"
"That would be an appropriate action, yes." Luna drew herself to her full height "Adventurers!"
"Yes, your highness!" Shining Armor and his friends snapped to attention, while Luna rolled her eyes in annoyance. Beside her, Ricky stifled another laugh.
"For the love of...I will not stand for pointless bickering! Frankly, I am ashamed of you four. You have a quest at hand, and you have strayed from it. Now, pull yourselves together!"
"Right!" Poindexter gave a clumsy salute, turning to his friends "Alright, men, move out!"
"Hey, who died and made you oubliette master?" 8-Bit complained, which prompted the others to start chiming in angrily.
"Quickly, while they're distracted!" Luna whispered, and Ricky nodded, closing his eyes. The wind sounded, and the voices of the arguing gamers faded away.
***
Squinting, Ricky tried to make out his surroundings, but it was far too bright to see anything. He could, however, hear multiple colts and fillies laughing and yelling. Luna, on the other hand, was nowhere to be found.
"Hey! Move it, ugly!" Ricky ducked, barely avoiding the two Pegasus colts who had dive-bombed him.
"And you're too old for Flight Camp, stupid!!"
"Flight Camp?" Ricky wondered, looking arouund. It was then that he realized that he was high among the clouds, and in a panic fell backwards.
"Careful!" A voice came from behind him, but he saw no one there. The voice sounded familiar, however...
"Rainbow Dash?" Ricky asked slowly, recieving an exasperated sigh in reply.
"Obviously! Dang it, hold on..." She came into view, or at least a much younger version of herself did. Ricky was taken aback at this.
"Dude! Are you...did I travel through time? Where's Princess Luna?"
"No, Fluttershy just has an annoying habit of reliving this place. Luna's with her under the bleachers right now." Rainbow explained, fluttering her tiny wings. Ricky nodded "That makes more sense. Why does she dream of this place? Doesn't seem so bad."
"She got picked on constantly here. For a lot of things," Rainbow added, beckoning for Ricky to follow her "She has a real hard time letting go."
"Ah, gotcha." As they walked, they passed many young Pegasi performing drills and various exercises. Some of them stopped momentarily to watch Ricky go by, while others just ignored him.
"Muffins, you're up!" Ricky stopped to watch the younger Derpy glide towards her target. Upon seeing him, she did an abrupt double-take and missed, crashing into a nearby pillar.
"Don't worry, somepony always gets her to the nurse." Rainbow said "It was pretty much a daily occurence."
"Really? Ok, then...so, why did Fluttershy get bullied? Nothing wrong with her in my opinion." Ricky asked, ducking to avoid more ponies.
"She's a bit of a weak flyer, for one. She's also kind of a doormat. I'm surprised you never noticed."
"If I did, I never mentioned it." They came upon the bleachers, where Ricky could hear soft sniffling alongside Luna's soothing tone.
"Now, dear, are you really going to let this ruin your whole week?" Ricky watched as Fluttershy timidly raised her head "B-but they were all so cruel..."
"Come, now. You have so many wonderful qualities about you, and those bullies know it." Luna said, and Fluttershy shook her head, tears building up in her eyes.
"They're just going to keep doing it, though!" She whimpered "I'm terrified to show my face here.."
"Come on, Fluttershy! Do we really have to go through this again? I mean, we already know how this is gonna play out!" Rainbow said "So, why don't we dream about something else, ok?"
Luna stared at her dryly "You're not helping at all."
"Least I'm trying..."
Sighing, Luna turned to Ricky "It looks like this is going to take a while. You might as well look around for now."
"Ok, cool. Just come grab me when you're ready." Ricky turned to go, Rainbow Dash flying ahead "Come on, I'll show you the rec area!"
Following her through the camp, Ricky had no idea where to look first. The fact that nearly everything was made of clouds was amazing enough.
"So, how long does it usually take for Fluttershy to calm down?" Ricky asked, to which Rainbow shrugged "Beats me. It has a tendency to vary. Longest was an hour."
"Damn...so, it depends on the bullying, then?"
"Yep..." They approached a large building with a sign reading 'Recreation Facilities', and Rainbow pushed the door open "After you."
Ricky found himself in a brightly lit room filled with game tables, sofas and vending machines. There were a couple of ponies playing what looked to be air hockey, but he couldn't tell.
"Well, here we are. It's pretty chill here." Rainbow flew over to the soda machine and stuck a couple coins in. She grabbed a can and tossed one over to Ricky, who caught it with ease.
"Thanks. So, you can just come here when you want? What about scheduled camp activities and all?" Ricky took a sip, startled at how good it was. Glancing at the label, he was stunned to find that it was hay and berry flavored.
"Nah, but this is a dream, remember?" Rainbow landed next to him "So, we may as well make the most of it."
"I guess, yeah." Ricky took another sip "I wonder how Derpy's doing? She took a pretty hard hit back there."
"She's probably ok. Like I said, she was always clumsy. And I guess I always kind of gave her a hard time for it." Rainbow said sheepishly "She means well, sure, but it can be really frustrating."
"I guess that's why she like...um, never mind, actually." Ricky said quickly, but Rainbow gasped sarcastically "That was YOU?!"
"What? Oh, for fuck's sake...how many ponies know about that?" Ricky groaned, wanting to vanish. Rainbow shrugged "Oh, chill. Not that many...well, me, Rarity, Spike..."
"Ok, I guess that's..."
"...Lyra, Bon Bon, Twilight, Big Mac, Cranky Doodle Donkey..."
"OK!!! Jeez, is no secret safe in this town?" Ricky shook his head "How did you find out, anyway?"
"It was after you left Rarity's when we played Truth or Dare. Derpy would not stop raving about you, and how jealous of Bon Bon she was for getting to kiss you." Rainbow tossed her can in the bin "I mean, what can I say? The girl's hot for you."
"Well, flattering as it was, I kind of had to turn her down." Ricky said, blushing slightly.
"Oh, I know that. She was pretty down the day after Nightmare Night." Rainbow cocked an eyebrow at him "I'm not one for for romance and junk, but you oughta make it up to her."
"Right, like I'm gonna take dating tips from a kid-OW!"
"This is a DREAM!!" Rainbow said angrily "I'm still an adult, I just...don't look like it."
"Sorry...didn't have to kick me, though." Ricky muttered, rubbing his shin "So, what do you suggest?"
"Ask her out to dinner or something, as friends. You know, make her happy."
"Ok, I guess that'd be okay...you know, I still don't understand why she likes me. I mean, apart from that night at Rarity's, I've only ever talked to her when she delivers mail."
"That's just it. You're one of the only ones who DOES talk to her. Most ponies treat her like an outcast. Kind of like you were back in your world." Rainbow said, quickly adding "Twilight told me."
"Well...you know what? I'll do it. When I get back to town, I'll ask Derpy out. Hell, I may have been an asshole back home, but I'm definitely not one here. I'll-"
"THERE you are!" Luna entered the rec hall, Fluttershy in tow. She was no longer crying.
"Sorry, I shoulda told you where I was taking him." Rainbow said, flying over to her friend "So, feeling better?"
"Oh, yes. Princess Luna was wonderful to talk to." Fluttershy blushed, turning to Ricky "S-sorry for not saying hello before, Ricky."
"It's cool, I understand. You had some issues to work out. And I guess I kind of had one too..." He glanced at Rainbow, who gave him a quick wink. Fluttershy looked confused.
"Um...ok, I guess...I'm sorry we couldn't visit properly, but..."
"Do not fret, Fluttershy. We must on our way, anyhow." Luna walked over to Ricky "Are you ready?"
"As I'll ever be. Thanks again, Rainbow, I'll do that first chance that I get." Ricky closed his eyes, hearing the familiar rush of wind.
***
"OW!!!!!" Ricky held his elbow and began swearing a blue streak "Son of a...!"
"Oh, relax. It was only a bookshelf."
"Still, what kind of person would leave a bookshelf next to a dream portal?" Ricky fumed, looking around angrily.
"Well, there is one name that comes to..." Luna began, but was interrupted by a loud voice.
"Oh, thank Celestia you're here! Quick, we don't have much time!" Twilight ran up to them, her mane askew "They're in here, and they're destroying EVERYTHING!!!"
"A nightmare!" Ricky thought, both excited and nervous.
"Right! I will rectify this situation!" Luna said, charging forward. Ricky braced himself for the worst...
Chapter 25: In Your Dreams, part 3
"They're not even using the CARD CATALOGUE!!!" Twilight sobbed, curling up into a fetal position. Luna sighed "I am not wasting my powers on this."
Cheerilee's class was running wild through the library, climbing on ladders and pulling books off the shelves. Over in the corner, Spike had built himself a little fortress out of chairs.
"What do they want from us?!" Spike sobbed, sucking a claw. Ricky tried to process everything, ducking to avoid a heavy tome.
"Please, Luna! I can't take another second of this insanity!" Twilight begged "I mean, I know I should be used to having them come, but...NO! Put that down, NOW!!!"
Ricky looked over and saw two colts examining a bejewelled lamp, which looked far too heavy for them to be holding anyway. Walking over, he said "Hey guys, maybe you oughta do as she says...I think she's about to blow a fuse."
"This isn't happening...this isn't happening..." Twilight was now rocking back and forth, whimpering.
"Sure. All she had to do was ask." The orange colt set the lamp on the edge of the table. It toppled over a second later, landing on Ricky's foot. Crying out in pain, he turned to face Luna.
"Um...maybe you could use a bit of magic? Son of a..." He hobbled over to a nearby chair and sat, only to have Diamond Tiara pull it out from under him. Crashing to the floor, he glared at the filly, who stuck her tongue out at him and pranced off.
"Well, I suppose I have no choice..." Luna sighed, her horn beginning to glow. The mayhem ended abruptly, the young ponies frozen in their tracks. Books, quills and many other objects began flying back to where they originally sat. Ricky was lifted off the ground while his chair positioned itself beneath him.
When Luna was finished, the library was pristine. The colts and fillys were lined up in straight rows, and everything was back in its place. A grateful Twilight threw herself at Luna's hooves "Oh, thank you, THANK YOU!!!"
"Pull thyself together, Princess." Luna replied, blushing slightly. Twilight hurriedly picked herself "I'm sorry, your highness!" Taking a deep breath, she turned to the class "I'm very, VERY disappointed in you all."
"Well, you should have been watching us." Scootaloo chimed in. Twilight suddenly tried to shush her, but Luna caught it.
"What? What does she mean?" Luna asked sternly "Twilight Sparkle! Were you preoccupied from your duties?"
"No...well...that is to say..." Twilight shuffled her hooves awkwardly, turning away. This only caused Luna to lean closer, eyes narrowing.
"And what, pray tell, was so important that you were unable to do as you were instructed?"
"I...um...new...DrngDr...." Twilight mumbled, while Spike walked over to them.
"Do I have to do everything around here? Sheesh...she was reading the new Daring Do book, ok?" The dragon said, shrugging it off.
"Well, technically, it was just before they got here..." Twilight offered sheepishly, only to recieve a stare from Luna.
"Whatever the reasoning might be, never allow anything come before your duties again. Is that understood?" Twilight nodded earnestly and replied "Yes, yes, of course!"
"Good. Now, I believe we ought to be going, Ricky. We have just enough time for two more dreams."Luna said, walking over to where Ricky sat.
"Alright, then." Ricky stood "Glad everything worked out for you, Twilight."
"You have no idea..." Twilight gave the group of students an annoyed look.
"Shall we?" Luna's horn began to glow. Nodding, Ricky moved next to her. Just before he closed his eyes, though, Luna added "Oh, and Twilight?"
"Yes, Princess?" Twilight snapped to attention, prompting giggles from the class.
"Please try to figure these things out for yourself every now and then. It has become rather bothersome as of late." Twilight blushed and gave a tiny nod. Ricky waved to the class, closing his eyes as he did so. Just before they vanished, he heard Diamond Tiara say "See, I told you he'd be an easy target." Before Ricky could respond, however, they were gone.
***
Ricky stared at their latest surroundings "Are we...back at the castle?" There were ponies in fancy dress all around them, laughing and dancing.
"Yes. Is it that difficult to tell?" Luna asked, giving him a strange look "This is the Grand Galloping Gala, after all."
"Oh, really? I got tickets for this from your sister, but I have no idea when it happens." Ricky replied, accepting an offered drink from a waiter "Oh, thank you..."
"It will take place in a few months, but that is not an issue. A reminder will be sent to you at the appropriate time." Luna said, looking over and chuckling "I believe I know who this dream belongs to now."
Ricky followed her gaze and laughed at the sight of Spike wearing a ridiculous getup. He looked like an 18th century monarch, powdered wig and all. Mares and stallions were treating him like royalty, and he was clearly loving every minute of it. Noticing Luna and Ricky, he began to make his way over to them. Luna took the opportunity to wander off, saying "This one is on you, Ricky."
"Ah! Welcome, my dear friends! I ask, have either of you seen the fair Lady Rarity?" Spike asked with an exaggerated accent. Smirking, Ricky shook his head "No, I can't say I have."
"A shame, really. Well, If you happen to see her, please inform her that Lord Spike the Valient is saving a dance for her?" Spike took a sip of wine, and immediately gagged.
"Uh...sure?" Ricky glanced around awkwardly, looking for a familiar face. He saw Octavia playing onstage, and a snack counter run by Applejack. Figuring they'd be too busy, he noticed Fluttershy near the corner, watching the festivities.
"Tell you what, I'll go and take a look over there, sound good?"
"Marvelous, old bean." Spike took another sip of wine, spitting it out a second later "Sooo gross..."
Shaking his head, Ricky stuck his hands in his pockets and strolled over to where Fluttershy sat. Seeing him, she sighed in relief "Oh, thank heavens, a familiar face."
"Really? What, did everyone ditch you?" Ricky asked, leaning against a large vase. Fluttershy shook her head "Well, we sort of split up when we got here, you see, and there are so many other ponies here..."
"You don't feel like looking for them, eh?" Ricky reached for his smokes, but decided against lighting up indoors "I don't really blame you. Back in my world, people used to drag me to school dances and shit constantly, and I always got ditched almost instantly. I'd try to find my friends, but they were always near impossible to locate. I usually ended up leaving early."
Fluttershy nodded "I know what you mean. I usually avoid parties if I can, on account of there being so many ponies I don't know. I don't like the idea of having to speak to them in order to find my friends. Frankly, the very idea of it terrifies me." She shuddered at the thought of it.
"Yeah...speaking of that, have you seen Rarity? 'Lord Spike' wants to see her." Ricky rolled his eyes, and Fluttershy giggled.
"I saw her go out to the balcony with a fancy looking unicorn stallion a little while back. They looked like they were arguing, but I couldn't tell." At this, Ricky looked up abruptly.
"Unicorn stallion...did he open the door himself?"
"No, that seemed to be what they were arguing about, actually. Why, do you know him?" Fluttershy asked curiously. Ricky groaned "We've got a very brief history together. Come on...we've gotta find Spike."
Ricky strode through the crowd, Fluttershy close behind "Um...is it really necessary for me to go with you...?"
"Under different circumstances, no. Right now, you're my eyewitness so I kind of need you at the moment." Ricky saw Spike and made a beeline for him.
"Ah, Ricky! Come to- hey, where are we going?" Spike wasn't expecting to be grabbed by the arm and pulled. Fluttershy tried to take the opportunity to slip away, but Ricky caught her in the act.
"Rarity's gone out to the balcony with Blueblood. I don't even want to think about what he might try to pull out there." They stopped at a large doorway, Ricky rolling up his sleeves "This might get a little violent, but I sure as hell hope it doesn't. "
Striding through the door, he saw a visibly uncomfortable Rarity trying to get away from the arrogant prince. She looked around desperately, but didn't see Ricky or his companions.
"How many times must I tell you, the answer is no?! Even if I were REMOTELY interested in kissing you, I am in no way willing to degrade myself so that you may brag to your peers!" Rarity backed up against the wall. Blueblood sneered "Oh, please. We both know that no pony would ever want to be around someone as stuck up as you anyway, so you might as well-OOOFF!!!"
Blueblood fell to the ground in shock, and looked up to find Spike standing over him, rubbing his fist. Ricky was both surprised and impressed "Wow, you beat me to it. Nice one, buddy."
"Wh-what just happened?" Rarity stammered, looking from Spike to Ricky, and then down at Blueblood, who was bleeding from the lip "Spike, what did you just-?"
"I'm still trying to figure that out myself. " Spike said "That really hurt...I have no idea what just came over me." On the ground, Blueblood tried to stand but fell back down. Rolling his eyes, Ricky abruptly pulled the prince up by the collar "You okay?"
"Um...yes, I-OW!!!!" Blueblood yelped as Ricky grabbed his leg and twisted it behind his back "Apologize, asshole!"
"My stars! Ricky, aren't you being a little too rough?" Rarity asked, but she had a trace of laughter in her voice. Ricky shook his head "Nope. It's gonna hurt for a bit, but he'll live. Now, about that apology..."
"Never!" Blueblood spat in Ricky's face. Taken aback, saliva running down his chin, Ricky took a deep breath and said "Spike, is Princess Celestia on hand? I think she would love to know what just went on here. "
Blueblood laughed "Oh, please. Threatening a royal will only make things more difficult for you, human. You two are in enough trouble as it is!"
"Okay then, I'll put it in a way that even you could understand: You can let your aunt find out what a what a low-brow prick you've been tonight, or Spike and I can grab a few of our stallion friends and beat the living shit out of you and leave you out here in pain. But, the decision is up to you. Don't let us influence you in any way." At this, Blueblood gulped nervously.
"Yes...well, I suppose some form of apology is in order here." Taking a deep breath, the prince began "Rarity...I a...apol...I apolo..." Rarity rolled her eyes and gave Ricky an exasperated look. Spike groaned "Oh for the love of Celestia, spit it out already!!!"
"FINE!!! I apologize for my actions, and I swear never to repeat them in any way, shape or form. Please don't tell my auntie about this!!" Blueblood blurted out, turning to Ricky for approval. But, Ricky shook his head "Don't look at me, she's the one you're talking to. " Glaring at him, Blueblood faced Rarity "Well?"
"I suppose it will do." Rarity replied, slowly approaching the prince "Now, kindly do us all a favor and get out of our sights! And if I ever see you again, or hear that you have gone back to your sick, lecherous ways, I will not hesitate to bring you into a world of pain myself. Do you understand me?!"
"L-l-loud and clear, ma'am!" Blueblood nodded vigorously. There was a pause after he spoke, causing Rarity to scream "Did you not hear me? SCRAM!!!!!!"
Terrified, Blueblood took off running, crashing into the door as he did. After picking himself back up, he threw the door open and bolted. Rarity began to laugh at this, and soon Ricky and Spike joined in.
"I must say, that was handled extremely well. Thank you both, really." Rarity wiped away a tear.
"I was pretty surprised myself." Ricky replied, sitting down and lighting a smoke.
"M-me too." Fluttershy chimed in, causing Rarity to jump with shock "Why, Fluttershy, darling! How long have you been standing there?"
"Long enough to learn that you shouldn't make Ricky mad." Fluttershy blushed, looking at her friend with a mixture of awe and fear. Ricky sighed "Look, sorry for blowing up like that. I really hate seeing people get pushed around. I guess that getting treated like that as a kid made me that way."
"You? Bullied?" Spike asked incredulously, Ricky nodding in return "Yep. I was pretty shy, and being short didn't help. Luckily I had a growth spurt in junior high, though. That was where I met my first real friend, too."
"You really had no friends until then? My word, darling...it must have been quite lonely for you." Rarity said, shaking her head. Fluttershy's lip was starting to wobble.
"Pretty much. I picked up the guitar during that time, hoping it would make me popular. I sucked hard, though. Then, one day this kid named Jules saw me trying to play, and offered to show me what I was doing wrong. One thing led to another, and soon I was hanging out with him and his friends." Ricky pitched his smoke and stretched "But, regardless of all of that, Rarity's the one who really put him in his place. Frankly, I never want to get on her bad side."
"My word...I'm not THAT bad, am I?" Rarity said with a surprised tone. Spike and Fluttershy exchanged glances at this "Um..."
"THERE you are!" Ricky turned to see Luna approaching him "We really must be moving on, Richard. We've spent more time here than we should have. If we're going to visit one more dream, then we had better go."
"Alright, then." Ricky walked up to her "Well, this one's been interesting, guys. I hope the rest of your night goes better. "
"You and me both." Spike replied. Rarity walked up to Ricky and planted a small peck on his cheek, catching him off guard "Thank you for your assistance, darling."
"Wha-? Uh...sure, no problem." Ricky turned to Luna "I'll explain later. "
"That would be much appreciated, yes." Luna said, her horn glowing again "Do enjoy yourselves at the Gala. And Spike?"
"Yes, your highness?" Spike said, snapping to attention.
"PLEASE do us all a favor and get rid of that ridiculous wig. It is very unbecoming of you." Spike's jaw dropped, while Rarity and Fluttershy began giggling like mad. Before he could answer, however, Luna and Ricky had vanished once more.
"Look, I know I wasn't supposed to be interfering like that, but the guy was being a total jerk to her." Ricky said, glancing away. Luna sighed and shook her head.
"While I agree that your actions were extreme, you were provoked. And I did say that you could only interfere if you were interacted with first." They touched down outside Carousel Boutique "Besides, defending a friend comes first in any situation like that. I am prepared to forget what happened if you promise to refrain from doing anything similar on any future journeys with me. Is that understood?"
"Yes, I...wait, you actually want me to come along again sometime?" Ricky asked, surprised. Luna nodded "I see no reason why not. It is nice to have a bit of company once in a while, and you are fairly easy to get along with. "
"Wow...thank you, Princess! I would love to join you again. " Ricky said happily, glancing up at the building before them, a dawning horror coming over him "Why didn't you say we were going to be seeing Rarity next?"
"I didn't think it would be an issue. Why, is something the matter?" Luna asked, confused. Ricky ran up to a window and began to inspect himself.
"She loaned me this shirt and cape, and I don't...shit!" He found a few sweat stains from the jungle, and what looked to be a few drops of Pinkie's chocolate "Fuck, she's gonna kill me..." Wetting his thumb, he frantically tried to remove the stains but to no avail.
"Relax, Ricky. I highly doubt that she will notice, let alone care." Luna opened the door of the shop "Knowing Rarity, she will be blind to everything except for the contents of her dream. Shall we?"
Ricky opened his mouth to answer, but decided to just take her word for it. Following her into the boutique, he braced himself for what might lie ahead...
***
"I-i-i-it's just not FAIR!!!" Rarity was sobbing on a fancy looking sofa, a tub of ice cream levitating before her. There was a pile of tissues next to her, and Twilight was patting her on the shoulder, an uncomfortable expression on her face.
"There, there...it'll be fine, I guess?" Twilight was clearly trying to help her friend out, but she was obviously having a hard time doing it "I mean, there's probably always next year?"
"Next YEAR?! Twilight, darling, you don't know the half of it...nom nom...do you have any idea just what this would do for my social status?" Rarity took another huge bite of ice cream and sniffled "It would mean I am out of touch and obsolete!"
While this was going on, Luna turned to Ricky "You see? She is oblivious to our presence."
"I can see that, yeah. But what happens when she runs out of tissue or ice cream? She'd have to get up then, right?" Ricky asked, trying to figure out exactly what was going on.
"Oh, that will not be necessary. If my memory serves me correctly, she will have assistance with that part." And as if by magic, the pile of tissues collapsed, Spike appearing from within. He was carrying an overflowing waste paper basket and had a somewhat loving expression. Ricky recoiled in disgust "Was he seriously just hanging out underneath all of those used snot rags?"
"For Rarity, Spike would commit any disgusting act...within boundaries, of course." Luna replied "But I do share your revulsion in this situation, yes. I do hope he has the common sense or decency to remember to bathe afterwards."
"Tough to say...they are Rarity's used tissues, after all..."
"Okay, you two are just gross, you know that?" Spike said angrily, appearing unexpectedly before them. He held a new box of tissue and another tub of ice cream.
"How long were you listening for?" Ricky asked, doing his best to hide the stains on his shirt. Spike shrugged "Long enough to know that you two need to get your minds out of the gutter. I was planning on cleaning those up, but I figured I'd wait until Rarity finished crying first. "
"I see your logic in that, yes. How long has this been going on for now?" Luna asked, kicking a tissue out of her way. Spike rolled his eyes "At least an hour. I love helping her out, but this is starting to get annoying. "
"No kidding...why's she crying to begin with, anyway?" Ricky picked up an empty ice cream container, curious of the flavor "Vanilla Oat Swirl? Sounds like one of my mom's health smoothies."
"I don't know, exactly. She usually doesn't get this bad unless she's been humiliated or thinks she's failed at something." Spike replied, walking up to Rarity. Sobbing, she levitated the ice cream from the dragon's hands.
"Look, I'm going to go make some tea. Will you have any if I do?" Twilight asked, getting up.
"I s-suppose..." Rarity's voice hitched as she began spooning more ice cream into her mouth. Twilight began making her way to the kitchen. She bumped into Ricky on her way "Oh, excuse me...wait, Ricky? Luna? How long have you two been here?"
"Several minutes now. Exactly why is she so upset?" Luna asked, concerned. Twilight groaned "It's rather stupid, to be honest. I'm really starting to wonder if I'm wasting my time here or not. "
"Nonsense! She is in distress. You will carry on with the tea, and I will attempt to speak with her. Ricky, would you be so kind as to assist Twilight?" Luna asked.
"Might as well. Keep me posted, okay?" Ricky followed Twilight into the kitchen and began looking for cups.
"So...what exactly happened that's so pointless?" Ricky asked, searching away. Twilight placed the kettle on the stove and groaned "Well, to be perfectly honest, she overslept and missed a big sale. "
Ricky paused, dumbfounded "Wait...her idea of a nightmare is not being able to go shopping?" Twilight nodded, opening the cupboard Ricky had been looking for "That has got to be one of the stupidest things I've ever heard..."
"You're telling me. When Sweetie Belle came to me and said that Rarity had a huge problem, I booked it over here. Now I'm regretting it." Twilight sighed, selecting a box of tea bags "You've got red on you, by the way."
"Huh...?" Ricky was confused by her last remark, then realized that a couple drops of blood from Spike's dream were also on his shirt "Thanks, uh...it must be jelly...from Pinkie's dream. She, uh...had donuts."
"I'm not surprised at that. How many dreams do you guys have left for the evening?" Twilight began to pour the tea, setting the pot down afterwards.
"I'm pretty sure this is the last one. Should have known it would be anticlimactic, though. That's usually how cool, unexpected stuff pans out after all." Ricky picked up the tea tray and headed back for the living room. Rarity appeared to be almost through with her latest tub of ice cream, and set it down beside her, accepting a cup from the tray "Oh, hello, Ricky...Luna told me you were here as well...I do apologize for my current state, darling. "
"Don't worry about it. We did just drop in, after all. " Ricky set down the tea tray, took a cup and leaned against a nearby table "You feeling any better?"
"Somewhat, yes. But no matter what I do to try and escape the misery, the fact that I missed one of the most important fashion debuts in Equestrian history will always be present..." Rarity sighed "However will I deal with this?"
"Miss Rarity, I understand that this distresses you greatly, but keep in mind that you have a business to run. Sitting here in misery will not pay the bills." Luna sipped her tea and continued "Now, how about a smile?"
Sniffling, Rarity gave a small smile. Luna beamed "Much better. Just because one terrible event has occurred, it doesn't mean that your entire life is destined for failure. And I speak from personal experience, as you recall."
Rarity nodded "Princess, you are absolutely right. I have overcome far more difficult things than missing a silly old sale! I mean, I helped to save that quaint, yet rather filthy health spa, and it seemed hopeless at first. I am RARITY, by Celestia!"
"That's the spirit!" Twilight said happily "Now, are you going to just sit here, or are you going to get up and seize the day?"
"The LATTER, darling!" Rarity leapt off the couch and struck a pose "There's always next year, of course!" She ran over to her workstation and began to measure fabric with glee. Luna smiled, turning to Ricky "I believe that our work here is finished. It is time for us to return to the castle, would you not agree?"
"Fine with me. I'm definitely ready to call it a night." Ricky yawned, making his way over to where Luna stood. Twilight bowed deeply "Thank you as always, Princess Luna."
"Er...that will do, PRINCESS Twilight." Luna replied awkwardly, her horn beginning to glow again "Ricky, if you would?"
"On it, your highness." Ricky placed a hand on her back, and the wind overtook them once more. As Carousel Boutique began to fade away, however, Rarity's voice pierced the haze.
"WHERE THE HAY DID ALL OF THOSE STAINS COME FROM?!?!?! RIIIIIICKY!!!!!!!!"
***
Ricky wobbled, reaching out to steady himself on Luna's wardrobe "Woah...feeling a bit dizzy here..."
"Allow me." Luna carried a chair over with her magic, Ricky dropping into it heavily "So, how did you enjoy your first night of dream duty?"
"I had a blast, and I really can't wait to do it again. That really opened up my eyes about a lot of things my friends are into...and going through." Ricky said, pulling out his smokes "It's really going to change how I interact with some of them, that's for sure."
"Ah, yes. That is how I feel sometimes, I will admit. Especially after..."
"After what?" Ricky asked, walking over to the balcony. Luna shook her head "Never mind, it's a very long story."
"Are you sure? I'm always keen to listen." Ricky stood just outside of the balcony doors so that he could talk to the princess. Luna sighed "I would rather not discuss this now and ruin a wonderful evening. Another time, yes."
"OK, I'm not going to argue with you. It's your business, after all. Besides, I guess I have an issue of my own to deal with." Ricky sighed, knocking his ash.
"The business with the young mailmare, correct?" Luna smirked at Ricky's flabbergasted expression and continued "The first night that you two properly interacted at Rarity's place resulted in one of the happiest dreams I have ever witnessed. As I recall, it was rather..."
"Not risqué or erotic I hope..." Ricky groaned at the thought, Luna letting out a hearty laugh.
"I was going to say content, actually. That girl feels very strongly about you, I must admit. I have watched her grow from a very awkward young filly into a rather lonely mare. She has very few friends, and you are one of the only individuals who even say hello to her first. You may even recall your first day working at the music store?"
Ricky thought hard, the events of the day slowly returning to him "It was morning...she came in with the mail, and Vinyl was off on a coffee run. I remember she got my name wrong, but I laughed it off. She seemed really embarrassed about it...she even started to tear up a bit as I recall...I remember comforting her about it, telling her that it was okay."
"She told you something along the lines of how she was tired of messing up constantly, didn't she?" Luna asked, handing Ricky a cup of tea. Surprised, Ricky nodded "Exactly! How did you...?"
"I spoke to her at the Nightmare Night celebration. I saw her crying behind one of the tents and got her to open up to me about everything. I must say, I was a little disappointed in your response."
"Yeah, well I guess I was a bit of a dick about it. Hell, Big Mac gave me a good talking to about it afterwards. I've been wanting to clear the air with her, but what with work, and fillysitting..." Ricky sighed and tossed his smoke "Besides, she might be mad at me for all I know. I wouldn't want to make things worse."
"Nonsense. I know for a fact that she would be ecstatic to speak with you again. As a matter of fact, the Grand Galloping Gala will be upon us in a few weeks, and I understand that my sister gifted you with tickets upon your arrival, correct?"
"A fancy ball? That might be a bit much right off the bat, to be honest with you. I mean, I haven't really spoken to her much apart from a few awkward hellos..." Ricky finished his tea, accepting a refill from the princess.
"Then take her out for coffee, or a picnic in the park. It needn't be extravagant, just enough to break the ice. I can tell that you do care about her in return." Luna sipped her tea "I understand that you had difficulty fitting in back at home, so you already have something in common with her."
"I guess that's true...but how do I go about asking her? I'm not exactly an expert at this sort of thing. Do I send her a letter, or ask one of my friends to send the message along?"
"Ask her in person, the next time she comes into your workplace. I understand that there is a quaint little cafe nearby that would be perfect." Luna smiled "I know that you have the confidence in you to do the right thing."
"You're right, Princess. I really don't have anything to lose from this...I just don't want to screw anything up and make her hate me, you know? I don't want her to feel as if I'm obligated to do this or anything like that." Ricky pulled out another smoke, head in his hand.
"Believe me, she will be the happiest mare in all of Ponyville if you do this for her. But try not to overthink this right away. A good night's sleep will do wonders for your final decision. Besides, Celestia has a lavish brunch planned for tomorrow morning, and it won't do for you to oversleep." Luna reminded him, to which Ricky nodded.
"Good point. I have a LOT to figure out right now, and I really don't want to be distracted tomorrow by losing any sleep over this." He pinched his smoke out and tucked it away for the morning. Standing, he finished his tea and cracked his back.
"Rest up, my friend. I will let you know when I'm ready to take you on my rounds once again. Good night, Richard."
"Good night, your highness." The doors closed behind him, and Ricky sighed, wondering how in the hell he was going to get to sleep with all of this on his mind. Shaking his head once more, he made his way to his room, determined to figure it out once and for all.