Chapters Everyone has secrets. From the rulers of nations or forces unknown, to the most innocent of people, or creatures. For whatever reason I come across as a good listener, and I guess I am, but people have always felt comfortable unloading all of their problems or secrets on me. Ever since I was young and could hold a conversation, people I barely knew would pull me aside or ask to talk only to depress me with whatever was going on in their personal lives. In the beginning I thought these people were my friends after the discussions we’d have and I would go to them for help or to talk about my own problems, but that wasn’t the case. They were simply using me to make themselves feel better and would never lend their own ears. So I grew up with a rather depressing view of the world, I’ll admit that; thinking that people looked out for nothing but themselves and their interests. But suddenly, things changed.
When I ended up in this strange place called Equestria, I thought things would be different. The creatures called ponies seemed to be so much nicer than the humans I knew and they actually seemed to care about me, but the façade quickly fell. Within a week of being here, after meeting all the townsfolk and having a welcome party, I was quickly forgotten and left without anyway of keeping myself alive. That’s what I thought then. Seeing as how easily approachable as I was and how great of a listener I seemed to be, I started to charge the ponies for my time. I quickly earned enough money to move into a loft in downtown Canterlot that doubled as my office.
Equestria’s first therapist is what I became; a therapist that only listened and never offered solutions. That’s not what anyone wants anyway; my opinion isn’t valuable, just my ears. That’s fine though, as I’m the furthest thing from a doctor anyway, but it’s been difficult. Despite how innocent these ponies seem to be, some of them have the worst secrets I’ve ever heard, and I just can’t keep them to myself. I’ve only been here for about 2 months and the things I’ve heard so far are a little more than shocking. So, I’ve decided to keep a log of the sessions I have just to remove the horrible things I hear from my mind. I tried doing this when I was still on Earth, but it didn’t stick, not that it mattered. Human problems and secrets have nothing on pony secrets and problems. While these creatures and I may share a common language and certain mannerisms, they certainly aren’t human and this world certainly isn’t the one I know. The fact that they are still governed by not one, but two matriarchs would leave one to believe they still live in the dark ages, but their magic has helped their advancement. Two-thirds of the population is female, so practically all of the gender roles are swapped and I frequently have trouble remembering this.
Their society has a very clear yet ignored caste system. While there are three distinct races of ponies, if you don’t count the princesses, and each has their own advantage over the other two, the unicorns seem to have the most privilege because of their command over magic. Pegasi are just below them, and the ironically named “earth ponies,” below them. But the lowest of them all are the males of any of the three, making them my primary customers, or should I say patients? While their problems are terrible and clearly unfair, they are not nearly as dire as others I’ve heard.
Adjusting has been difficult to say the least. The complete lack of anything resembling convenience is aggravating since I can’t use magic, so I’m forced to do everything manually and by hand. Writing this is no different. Jesus, my handwriting is terrible. I digress. Their economy seems to be mostly based on a bartering system, though this is most prevalent in smaller settlements and not the city. It’s interesting to note that despite the swapped gender-roles, stallions run most of the businesses in the city, so I’m assured to get better deals on things if I sympathize with them. It’s only on this level that I’ve made the closest thing to friends.
On the subject of friends, the idea of friendship seems to be a magical force of some kind. The authority on that, who happens to be a princess and “element,” is Twilight Sparkle. She filled me in on the concept when I first arrived, and I couldn’t help but laugh in her face. If friendship was such a powerful force, why hasn’t it worked on me? But again, I digress. Magic is nothing but real in this world and I unfortunately can’t control it; no surprise there. The real surprise was finding out no one has any idea how I got here and have all but assured me I can’t go home. Am I upset? Not really. I was miserable back on Earth, so I’ll just keep on being miserable here and make a little money off of it. Twilight Sparkle said she would try and find a way for me to return home, but I’m sure she forgot about that and hasn’t even noticed I’ve left town. That’s a good thing though; during that first week she tried desperately to lure me into her lab and perform experiments on me, but another pony who was also one of these “elements” warned about as much so I’m grateful towards the mare whose name I don’t remember.
One thing I do remember though, is that I’m the only and first human to arrive here. It’s because of this that I was supposed to be visited by the princesses, but I’m sure Twilight Sparkle forgot to tell them about me after she forgot about me. If she hasn’t, I expect they’ll show up at my door eventually, but with what intentions, I’m not sure. I’ve yet to see any acts of violence in this world, but I hope I haven’t made a reason for there to be any against me. In any case, I have an appointment in a few minutes so I should prepare. I just hope it doesn’t need to be written down.
Author's Note
Trying out something different with this story. Each chapter will hopefully be a one-shot, but the characters may show up again later. Lemme know what you think when I get the actual first chapter out.
Name: Brick Layer
Sex: Male
Age: 23
Occupation: Brick layer
Appearance: Mahogany-red coat, short off-grey mane, brown eyes, typical earth male build
Session Number: 5
“How’s it going, Brick?” I asked the stallion trotting through my door.
“Not too great, Doc,” he answered less than cheerfully as he looked up at me with sad eyes.
“Why don’t you have a seat?” I offered as I led him to my sitting room. He quickly took up my offer and laid down on my custom made chaise longue as I sat in my chair directly behind him. Picking up a piece of parchment and quill to look like I’m writing something down, I waited for him to start talking once he got comfortable.
“It’s Violet Rain,” he started with a sigh.
“What’d she do this time?” I asked as I started drawing a picture of what I thought his marefriend looked like.
“She… she cheated on me.” My drawing hand froze for a second before starting back up.
“…Really?”
“Yeah…”
“Tell me about it.”
“*Sigh* I got off of work early the other day since we finished repairing the part of the castle that got destroyed by Discord last week, and instead of going to the bar with the rest of the guys like usual, I headed home-”
“Thinking you’d surprise her.”
“Yeah… but I was the one in for a surprise… Three of them to be precise.”
“Damn. What’d you do?”
“I-I froze… I guess I was so shocked I couldn’t even finish stepping through the door or even say anything… W-when she noticed me, she didn’t even bother stopping, none of them did. S-she just pointed to a chair and looked at me threateningly.”
“Did you sit down?”
“…I did…”
“And she made you watch?”
“...She did…” he sniffled.
“…What happened next?”
“…H-half-an-hour later, t-they stopped… The stallions left with worried looks on their faces as she licked up their-their-”
“I get it.”
“…A-after she got cleaned up, she told me not to tell anypony… she said nopony would believe me anyway and if they did, s-she would just accuse me of domestic violence and have me thrown in the dungeons… she said she only kept me around for the bits I brought home.”
“…”
“…Two years ago… she said she loved me, and didn’t want a herd-”
“Herd?” I questioned as I stopped scribbling and pulled out a piece of paper I was using for new terms and phrases I’d hear.
“*Sniff* Yeah, it’s when a stallion belongs to a few mares or very rarely, a few stallions to one mare.”
“I see,” I commented as I wrote that down, “please, continue.”
“…I’ve got no way out, Doc. No matter what I do, she’ll keep cheating on me and I’ll have no choice but to go along with it.”
“That’s sounds rough,” I said as I continued my drawing, “but not uncommon.”
“…Yeah, I guess I’m not the first one this has happened to-”
“Fourth in the last three weeks.”
“-but… I still love her.” My hand froze again.
“…You do?”
“Heh, I-I know that sounds strange-crazy even, but… I just can’t bring myself to hate her. I-I don’t know if it’s just in my nature but, she’s still my special somepony…” The grip on my quill tightened for a second before I relaxed and kept drawing.
“…Want to know what I think?” I offered.
“To be honest Doc, not really… I-I appreciate you listening, I really do… but I think this is something Violet Rain and I need to work out.”
“Of course. Anything else?”
“N-no, that’s about it,” he sniffled.
“Well, this was a pretty short session since you got right to the point this time, so I won’t charge you the usual.”
“T-thanks, Doc.”
“No problem. Why don’t you use those extra bits to get a drink?”
“I… I just might do that,” he mumbled as he slid off the longue before giving me the money, “I-I would invite you, but-”
“Don’t worry about it. Your alcohol doesn’t do anything for me anyway,” I interrupted as I opened the door for him, “same time next week?”
“M-maybe,” he answered solemnly, “see ya, Doc.”
Observations: It seems the full weight of his situation hasn’t quite hit him yet; possibly still in denial. That would explain why he doesn’t have any negative feelings towards her. That, or I still have a lot to learn about these ponies. The look in his eyes made me think he may do something he’ll regret, but I’ll have to wait and see. He mentioned the stallions had worried looks on their faces; they possibly didn’t know ~~Violent Rein~~ Violet Rain had a special somepony and may feel bad. If he does do something, I hope it doesn’t involve them.
Author's Note
We'll start this off simple and ease our way into more dramatic stuff as this goes along. If this situation sounds familiar to anyone, I'm sorry. This happened to a friend of mine, but it's all good now. Lesson of the day: don't settle for abusive relationships.
Name: Gale
Sex: Female
Age: 30
Occupation: Body Guard
Appearance: Completely pitch-black, gold eyes, muscular build
Session Number: 1
“Hey,” the griffon greeted after scaring the shit out of me when I opened the door.
“G-Gale?”
“That’s me,” she answered blandly as she looked me up and down. We both stood in the doorway for a few silent moments as we took in each other’s features, her more so than me, before I stood to the side to let her in.
“I’m sorry, come in.”
“Don’t mind if I do.” Leading her into the sitting room, I motioned for her to sit in the chaise longue as I gathered my things. When I sat down, I found her sitting in her seat facing me instead of lying down like everyone else somehow knew to do.
“So, what’s on your mind?” I started, choosing to ignore her and focus on my drawing.
“A lot of things; I don’t know where to start.”
“Alright, how’s your work going?”
“As well as protecting stuffy nobles can go.”
“Well I wouldn’t know, so enlighten me.”
“I work for a private agency that gets hired to protect nobles when they do their, ‘business.’”
“So I assume it’s going well considering how peaceful this world is.”
“That’s right.”
“…So?”
“I guess I’m not feeling very fulfilled.”
“Why’s that?”
“I took up this job when I moved here thinking I could find some sort of excitement, but as you said, it’s too peaceful. Nothing ever happens when these ponies have their shady meetings.”
“So you want something to go wrong.”
“Yes and no. See, I used to be a soldier back in the Griffon Kingdom. Despite the peace spreading throughout the world, it’s been my family’s tradition to join up and help protect the kingdom. But, I had to leave because of an… incident.”
“You got bored?”
“The opposite, actually. There’s no end to the in-fighting and rowdy griffons, but no. It’s something a lot more personal…”
“…I’m listening,” I confirmed as I looked up at her after a long silence.
“I… I was raped,” she stated surprisingly flatly, making me freeze and focus all of my attention on her, “fresh out of boot camp, I was stationed within the king’s castle. I had heard that there weren’t any other females in the castle besides the royal family, and I confirmed those rumors when I arrived at the barracks… I hadn’t even made it a week before the others started making strong advances on me. Obviously, I turned them down; I was focused on doing my duty and I was doing it well, but they didn’t take kindly to that. So, one night, after I had finished my rounds and was showering, a bunch of them cornered me, and…”
“You don’t have to go into detail if you don’t want to.”
“I-I’ll skip to the good parts then, heh,” she chuckled uneasily as a slight look of discomfort appeared on her face, “…They kept me there all night and into the morning. As some finished their rounds, they would switch with the others that had to report in. When that morning rolled around and the captain was looking for me, he found me tied up and surrounded by his best. The worst part though… when he ordered them to leave and it was just us two with me still tied up… even in my disoriented state, I could see a familiar look in his eyes that all the others had… In that moment, I was the most scared I had ever been; more scared than I was all night. The one griffon I thought I could count on, the one I thought was saving me… he wanted to do what all the others had already, but he didn’t. He cut me loose and took me to the infirmary. The next day I was relieved and moved back in with my parents.”
“…Did you tell them?”
“No… I haven’t told anyone. You’re the first,” she admitted as she looked at me sadly.
“If you don’t mind me asking, when did this happen?”
“About twelve years ago.”
“And you’re how old?”
“That’s the question I’m supposed to mind you asking,” she joked with a small smile, “I’m thirty.”
“Well,” I sighed as I rubbed my face, “while I know this isn’t exactly uncommon back in my world, it doesn’t make it any less terrible. This is the second time I’ve met someone it’s happened to and all I can say is I’m sorry. I’m sorry you had to live with such a terrible secret for so long.”
“It’s not that big a deal. I-”
“Like hell it isn’t!” I exclaimed, startling both her and me, “…I-I mean, *ahem.* That sucks, er- it’s a shame that happened.”
“…I guess it is,” she replied as her small smile returned, “well, I’m feeling a lot better now that I’ve finally said that, and I’m sure you’re tired of listening to me anyway.”
“You can stay longer if you like.”
“That’s alright,” she declined as she got up, handed me her money, and headed for the door, “I have to get to work in a little bit anyway.”
“Well, feel free to come back anytime,” I said as I opened the door for her.”
“I just might,” she said with a smile before leaving.
Observations: Despite the subject matter, she didn’t seem to be too bothered about discussing what happened. I on the other hand, still find the subject a little difficult to talk about. Maybe griffons have a higher constitution than both ponies and humans, but I’ll need to meet more to know for sure. With her being a few years older than me, I’m sure she knows a lot more about life so I won’t try to give any advice, not that I have any to give on this issue. She seems like a tough lady, I’m sure she’ll be fine.
Author's Note
If this one seems a little off, it's only because I've never dealt with rape in any context before. From what I understand, some people react this way, but certainly not all. I guess I should say that if I'm ever being insensitive in some way, let me know; only some of the things that I'll write about, I'll have some personal connection to.
Name: Brick Layer
Session Number: 6
“Hiya, Doc!” Brick greeted happily.
“Hey, Brick. You seem a lot better than last time,” I observed as he trotted through the door, “but you look a little tired.”
“I was a bit busy the last few days,” he answered as I followed him into the sitting room.
“You’re also a few days early. You do know walk-in’s are more expensive, right?” I asked as I watched him get a little too comfortable.
“That’s not a problem, Doc! I’m a new stallion now!” he said, all smiles.
“Oh?” I replied as I picked up my stuff and sat down, “What happened?”
“Well, I got rid of Violet Rain!” My hand stopped before it could even start.
“…Got rid of? Don’t you mean left?”
“Left, got rid of; who cares? All that matters is she’s out of my life!”
“…I kind of care. Why don’t you tell me what happened?”
“Well, it started just after I saw you last time. I went to the bar and met up with some friends and we just got wrecked. As we were stumbling down the street trying to get to one of our houses, we met one of the stallions that was gangbanging Violet. He told me how sorry he was and that she didn’t tell them she had me, like I expected. I didn’t blame the guy, Violet was a nice piece of ass and-”
“Was?”
“-and I’d do the same if I were him. He eventually told me that he knew her back in college and had a reputation for doing what she was doing to me and that he had fallen for it. You could say we’re brothers in cuckold.”
“Jesus.”
“After that night, we would hang out and complain about how much of a bitch she was over drinks and maybe another mare, but we eventually got an idea.”
“…Yeah?”
“What if we got rid of her? Make it so nopony else would have to suffer at the hooves of her twisted thinking. So, we made a plan; he would meet up with her again under the pretense of bucking. He would persuade her to try something new, something that involved a blindfold and rope-”
“Alright Brick, I think I-”
“-once she’s tied up, I would be the one to buck her-”
“Oh.”
“-and slit her throat in the middle of it.”
“Jesus Christ Brick!”
“As she slowly bleeds to death, I would pull the blindfold off and watch her eyes shrink at the sight of me. Then she would truly know what it’s like to be stabbed in the back.”
“… Fucking hell, Brick… I don’t-” My attention was suddenly pulled away by the loud sound of banging at my door.
“Open up! This is the Royal Guard! We have reason to believe a murderer is hiding out here!”
“Wait,” I muttered as I slowly looked at Brick with wide eyes, “you actually did that?!”
“That bitch had it coming!” he yelled.
“Alright, we’re breaking the door down!” the guard warned half-a second before the door exploded and guards swarmed my loft, “Get down on the floor!” I instantly complied, jumping out of my chair, throwing myself to the floor, and putting my hands on the back of my head.
“Sir, you’ve got nowhere else to run and we have your accomplice! I’m not going to ask again!” the guard yelled at Brick.
“She had it coming!” Brick screamed, “That bitch deserved it!”
“Alright, hit ‘em!” the guard said before I felt a strange tingling in the air followed by a heavy thud in front of me. Looking up, I was met with Brick’s frozen and pained face before it was covered in a magical glow and carried out of my line of sight.
“It’s alright now, Sir. You can get up,” a guard said to me. With a sigh I slowly got to my feet and looked towards my door, catching Brick being levitated out of my home.
“I’m sorry you had to be a part of this,” the guard apologized, drawing my attention to him, “the crown will compensate you for the door and whatever possible trauma you’ve suffered.”
“…Just the door with be fine,” I said as I picked up the papers I dropped, “it wasn’t that bad.”
“…This isn’t the first time this has happened, is it?” he asked.
“You have no idea.”
“…Once again, I’m sorry for the intrusion. I’ll see myself out.”
Final Observations: Either the pony mind isn’t as resilient as I thought, or Brick was that badly affected by what Violet Rain did to him. Whether or not she deserved it, I can’t say, but it’s nice to know the Crown does a good job of keeping some semblance of peace around here. Poor Violet Rain. She may have had it coming, but she didn’t deserve death. No one does.
Author's Note
What a twist! But not really. Kinda mad this was the best I could come up with for this chapter, but the next one involving murder will hopefully be better. Sorry I'm not a sociopath, but anyone who just might be, let me know what you've got. I'm not judging.
Name: Princess Luna, A.K.A. Nightmare Moon
Sex: Female
Age:???
Occupation: Co-ruler of Equestria
Appearance: Dark-blue coat, long sapphire-blue and Persian-blue ethereal mane, cyan eyes, foot long spiral horn, 5’6” without horn, slender/muscular alicorn build with larger than average flank
Session Number: 1?
“Uh, who are you?” I asked the strange pony looking around my loft when I came back from shopping.
“So you are the human I’ve heard about,” she said as she watched me approach her.
“I didn’t know breaking and entering wasn’t against the law here,” I commented as I stepped up to and looked down at her, “I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”
“Is that anyway to treat a princess?” she asked innocently.
“Princess?” I repeated as I looked her over and noticed the regalia she wore, “Oh shit, forgive me Princess.” With that, I took a few quick steps back and kneeled, not daring to raise my head.
“It’s alright. You are new here, and from what I’ve been told, you’ve only met Princess Twilight Sparkle.”
“That’s correct, Princess. But, if you don’t mind-”
“I do not, and please, stand.”
“Why are you here?”
“I simply wanted to meet the human who has made a name for himself.”
“…Right,” I replied as I squinted at her, “and?”
“And… what?” she asked with a slight tilt of her head.
“You want me to listen to something you have to say, don’t you?”
“Hmm, I suppose so,” she said as she turned and headed for the sitting room. I quickly followed her and took my seat as she got comfortable in hers, neglecting to pick up my parchment and quill in case this was something serious.
“I’d like to personally thank you for cooperating in the arrest of Brick Layer the other day.”
“I didn’t really do anything to help.”
“Ah, but your cooperation with the Royal Guard was help enough. Thanks to you, a murderer is off the streets and all of Equestria is safer for it.”
“Alright, you’re welcome,” I conceded as I decided to pick up my paper and quill, “anything else?”
“Oh, where are my manners. I forgot to introduce myself. I am Princess Luna, co-ruler of Equestria. How are you today?”
“…Excuse me?” I asked as my drawing hand slowly stopped.
“How are you doing today?”
“I… I’m sorry, but this is the first time anyone-”
“Anypony.”
“-or anypony has asked me how I’m doing. They usually just start talking about themselves.”
“Then take your time with a response. First impressions are everything, I’ve been told.”
“…I’m fine,” I eventually answered only to be met with silence and an expectant stare.
“…And?”
“…Oh, and how are you doing Princess?”
“I could be doing better, to tell you the truth.”
“Oh?”
“Ponies these days do nothing but complain.”
“These days?”
“Forgive me, I assumed like everypony else, you knew my history.”
“I’m afraid I don’t.”
“Well, a long time ago, I was banished to the moon-”
“The moon that I’ve heard you control?”
“The very same. I had grown jealous of my sister and the adoration she and her sun received. I became so consumed with jealousy that I took on another form.”
“Nightmare Moon?”
“Yes. With the desire to overthrow my sister and plunge the world into an eternal night, my sister had no choice but to banish me to the moon for a millennia.”
“That’s a long time. And I assume there isn’t anypony on the moon.”
“No, and a thousand years spent alone only deepened my hatred for my sister. When I eventually escaped, I was fought and defeated by Twilight Sparkle and the other Elements of Harmony. The elements and the strength of their friendship is what destroyed Nightmare Moon and brought me back to my senses. It was then that I learned that friendship and love can overcome- excuse me, but, are you laughing?”
“I’m-I’m sorry,” I giggled, “please, continue.”
“…Friendship and love can overcome anything, and- what is so funny?”
“Heheh, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I’ll stop, keep going,” I chuckled.
“…Anyway, my point is that before my banishment, ponies had actual difficulties and hardships. These days, ponies complain about the most trivial things such as money and possessions that other ponies have. It is somewhat disappointing to learn of the negative effects peace has had on our world.”
“Well, when all they know is peace, they won’t have anything to complain about but the most mundane things. If I may be so bold to say, you don’t understand because you have and can have anything you want as a princess. You haven’t struggled a single day in your life as royalty. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say your becoming Nightmare Moon was a cry for attention.”
“…You are quite brave to make such an accusation to my face, human,” she said as she looked at me threateningly, “were it not for you being the only one of your kind, I wouldn’t hesitate to strike you down.”
“You’d be doing me a favor,” I mumbled to myself.
“Excuse me?”
“I thank you for sparing me, Princess Luna.”
“You may not be so lucky at your next jest.”
“I’ll be sure to remember that. Now, is that all? I have an appointment in a few minutes and need to prepare.”
“Then I will excuse myself,” she said with a huff as she stood and headed for the door.
“Until next time, Princess,” I said with a small bow as I opened the door.
“…Tread lightly, human,” she said as she looked me right in the eyes, “this world may not be as innocent as you think.”
“Thanks for the warning Princess, but I’ve yet to see a truly innocent thing since I’ve arrived,” I countered as she left, “have a nice day.”
Observations: She may still feel a little sore about her past, which would explain her quick change in attitude when I expressed my opinion. Then again, I may have been out of line. Despite this, she seems like a nice enough pony. I’ll be sure to keep my opinions to myself next time, if there is a next time… Fuck, she didn’t pay me.
Author's Note
Not much to say this time; just setting up for future events, you know how it goes. But damn, y'all come up with all the good ideas and make it really hard not to steal them, but for real, I'll give credit where it's due.
Princess Twilight Sparkle
Name: Princess Twilight Sparkle
Sex: Female
Age: 19
Occupation: Princess of Friendship
Appearance: Mulberry-purple coat, sapphire-blue mane with pink and purple streaks, violet eyes, typical unicorn build despite being an alicorn
Session Number: 1
Once again, my day started with loud knocking at my front door that annoyed me to get out of bed and answer it.
“Oh right,” I yawned when I was greeted with the princess’s smiling face, “you’re supposed to come over today.”
“You didn’t forget, did you?” she asked as she trotted in and slid off her stuffed saddlebags.
“I tried,” I answered as I headed for the bathroom. With me still not being fully awake, I failed to notice the princess follow me in and watch me strip before turning the shower on.
“It almost looks the same,” I heard her mumble, making me notice her standing right next to me with a slight blush on her cheeks. I looked between her and my naked body a few times before pushing her outside and slamming the door behind her.
“Why’d you push me out? I need to observe you!” she shouted through the door. I just sighed heavily in response. Half-an-hour later I emerged from the bathroom half-naked, expecting the princess to still be in front of the door ogling me, but she was nowhere to be seen. It wasn’t until I was halfway through getting dressed that I noticed my basket of dirty clothes shift. With a facepalm and another sigh, I stuck my hand into the pile and pulled out the princess with a pair of underwear on her head.
“What are you doing?”
“Observing in secret?” she said as her quill and parchment floated next to her, “I thought staying out of sight would help you act more naturally.”
“I don’t care if you’re watching me,” I replied as I snatched the garment off her head and put her down, “a little privacy when going into the bathroom would be nice though.”
“Hmm… I guess I can do that,” she said as I finished getting dressed before heading to the kitchen. She continued to follow and ‘observe’ me as I prepared some breakfast, humming in interest and mumbling to herself every so often. When I was finally sitting and about to eat, I noticed her scribbling had stopped and her eyes had focused on the French toast I’d made. Spearing a piece with my fork, I held it out to her and she quickly took hold of it with her magic.
“Thanks!” she said happily as she ate. After I had cleaned up, I went into the study and sat in my usual chair with some parchment and a quill. The princess of course followed after me and sat in the chaise longue right in front of me and kept up her observations. We sat in relative silence for a good half-hour before she let out an exaggerated sigh.
“Aren’t you going to do anything?”
“Like what?” I asked, keeping my attention on my drawing.
“I don’t know, go outside, go shopping, see your friends-”
“I don’t have any.”
“Well, I’m your friend, but I’m preoccupied with something.”
“If you didn’t decide to take up my whole day, I wouldn’t have had to reschedule the few appointments I had.”
“You didn’t have to do that; I would have quietly listened and let you work.”
“No, you wouldn’t have. I tried that before; no one says anything when they know others are listening and I just know you would have to say something.” She pouted at me before falling silent for a few more minutes.
“What are you drawing?” she asked as she tried to lean over and look.
“You.”
“Let me see!”
“You sure?”
“Yeah!”
“Alright,” I replied before flipping the paper towards her and showing her what I made. Her smile quickly faded before her cheeks puffed up, making me think she was mad, but she just busted out laughing instead.
“That’s hilarious!” she giggled, “I didn’t know you were so good at drawing!”
“I wasn’t at first. Considering you somehow don’t have pencils here, I had to get good.”
“Do you have anymore?” she asked giddily, confusing me for a moment.
“…Sure.” Moving over to my desk, I pulled a few files out of a drawer, careful not to let her see the names on them, and slipped out the drawings in them. Trotting up next to me, she looked over the drawings with a smile, but as she went through them, her smile slowly faded and eventually turned into a sad frown.
“There a problem, Princess?”
“N-no, I’m fine,” she quickly replied as she set the drawings down and shook her head, making her usual smile return, “w-why don’t we go outside? The weather team really outdid themselves today.”
“…Sure,” I replied before grabbing a jacket and clipboard. When we got outside, I quickly noticed that the princess’s statement about the weather wasn’t right; thick, dark clouds that threatened to rain if I looked at them funny floated above us instead of none at all.
“I could have sworn it was clear earlier,” she said as she too looked up.
“Did you come here from Ponyville?”
“No, I stayed with the princesses last night.”
“Well, that’s why,” I replied as I started walking down the narrow and dirty street.
“What do you mean?” she asked as she stayed close.
“The weather team doesn’t like to come all the way over here. Because, as I’m sure you know, this is technically the ghetto.”
“The what?”
“…You seriously don’t know what a ghetto is?” I asked as I looked down at her blank face, only to roll my eyes, “I guess not. Then again, I haven’t heard anyone else use the word. It’s basically a shitty part of town that gets neglected and has the reputation of housing not the nicest creatures. So, you know, I’m pretty at home here.”
“I-I see,” was all she said as we kept walking.
“But you are kind of right; today is better than usual.” A few minutes of walking down narrow streets led us to a larger one that led straight to downtown Caterlot and the castle; it was from there that I could see the nice weather the princess was talking about.
“So, what did-” I started but was interrupted by something poking me from behind. Turning around, I found a mare looking at me expectantly.
“A-are you the s-stallion?” she stuttered as she shifted uncomfortably.
“Depends,” I said as I looked over her malnourished body, “what do you need?”
“I… I just wanna talk.”
“Then I guess I am the stallion,” I replied as I looked at my clipboard, “…soonest I can get you in is next Thursday at… two. That work for you?”
“Y-yeah. I-I’ll be there,” she replied with a weak smile.
“Can I get your name?”
“Crystal Beth.”
“…Of course,” I said with a shake of my head as I wrote her name, “see you then.”
“What was that about?” the princess asked, making me remember she was with me.
“That, was how I get customers. Despite whatever you might think, I actually spend a lot of time outside whenever I’m not with someone.”
“…Was she alright?” she asked as she looked in the direction the strange mare went.
“Probably not, but I’m sure it’s not as bad as it looks,” I assured, “I hope to god it’s not.” I stood silently for a few moments before the princess put a hoof on my leg, knocking me out of whatever I was in.
“Anyway, I need to get some food.” Not bothering to ask if she wanted to come, I headed in the direction of a nearby market. The closer we got to it, the more shady looking ponies we came across and the closer the princess stuck to me.
“W-what’s that smell?” the princess asked as the market plaza came into sight.
“Food,” I answered as I made a beeline for a butcher shop. Holding the door for the princess, I let her walk into the rotten smelling store first, letting me witness and get some weird pleasure from the disgusted face she made before she covered her nose.
“You can wait outside if you want.”
“No. I’m fine,” she answered uncomfortably.
“Alright. Hey, Bloodwing,” I greeted the griffon at the counter.
“Ah, my favorite human,” he answered with his gravely voice that’s almost painful to listen to.
“I know you only say that because I’m the only one keeping your shop in business.”
“Hey, I give you best I got, don’t I?” he said as a slammed a big bag of meat on the counter.
“Yeah, it has the least amount of mold.”
“Well, you’ll be happy to know I took the time to scrape the mold off this time.”
“Great, now I don’t have to do it,” I replied as I handed him his money and took the bag.
“What? Mold gives it flavor.”
“I’m pretty sure that’s salmonella.”
“Never heard of it.”
“Of course. See ya.” With that taken care of the princess rushed out of the shop and took a deep breath, only for her face to twist in disgust again since it wasn’t’ that much better outside.
“S-so, you eat meat?” she asked uneasily.
“Yeah. The vegetarian thing you guys tried to get me on didn’t stick. Anyway, let’s head back; I can tell you’re really uncomfortable.” The quick nod of her head was all the confirmation I needed to lead the way back to my place. When we got back and I stored my meat, I went back to sitting in my chair and drawing. The princess on the other had, just stood by the door with a blank face, a face I was actually familiar with.
“Come have a seat,” I said over my shoulder. It took a moment, but she eventually came over and lay down, not sat.
“What’s wrong?”
“…I-I’m just surprised.”
“By what?”
“…I-I don’t know. A lot of things.”
“Like what?”
“…D-don’t worry about it,” she said after a quick shake of her head before facing me, “I’m here for you.”
“…Of course.” We fell back into a silence that was filled with the sound of my scribbling and the occasional weird noise from outside.
“I-I think I’m going to leave,” she suddenly said as she got up.
“You sure? We have hours left,” I replied as the huge bag of bits I was shown before floated onto my desk.
“That’s alright, I’ve bothered you enough,” she said, surprising me.
“Uh… okay,” I said as I opened the door for her, “until next time, Princess.”
“Please, I’ve told you; call me Twilight. I’ll be back next Friday.”
“Of course.”
Observations: She really is a naïve young princess. The perfect world she grew up in hasn’t prepared her for the real one, the world I’m all too familiar with. It’s strange. I’m extremely comfortable here in the shittiest part of the capitol even though I used to live in the nicest of neighborhoods back on Earth. The things I never would have imagined doing or being around back home, are the things I feel the most comfortable with here. I’m glad she didn’t do her usual friendship shtick; I wouldn’t have been able to handle it again.
Author's Note
Here's a little look into the world our protagonist is part of. A little darker than what we know, but I also think it's believable. Thanks to FourthWallAfroBrony for the idea and like usual, keep the ideas coming.
Name: Dew Star
Sex: Female
Age: 24
Occupation: Librarian
Appearance: Sun-gold coat, long and unkempt bleach-blonde mane, grey eyes, muscular pegasus build, bandaged wing
Session Number: 9
“How’s it going, Dew Star?”
“A-alright,” she stuttered as she carefully stepped through my door, being sure to not make eye contact. Figuring following was self-explanatory, I headed to the sitting room and sat down with my usual materials. When I didn’t see her sitting in in the chaise longue, I sighed and rubbed my face.
“Why don’t you come have a seat?”
“T-thank you,” she quietly replied as she quickly trotted over and sat down. When I usually meet this girl, I give her a while to get comfortable before asking her anything, so a few silent minutes went by.
“U-um,” she spoke up, surprising me.
“Yeah?”
“I…I lied…”
“About what?”
“M-me doing alright… t-things haven’t gotten any better…”
“That’s alright. Rehabilitation takes time, especially after what you went through.”
“B-but… everypony else is doing better than me… I-I’m the only one who still has trouble t-talking or doing things on my own,” she said as she fidgeted in her seat, “c-coming to see you is the only thing I can do.”
“Well, that’s something.”
“I-I guess… I just want to be able to do more…”
“…Alright, look. I know you’re eager to go back to being the pony you used to be, but from what I understand, the Changeling Invasion was a big deal. A lot of ponies have lost someone or something and I can guarantee you that they’ve all felt as bad as you do at some point; just be patient with yourself and give it some time… and if it makes you feel any better to know, *sigh* I’ll still be here willing to listen to whatever you have to say.”
“…Thanks,” she mumbled as she turned and flashed me a small smile. We went back to sitting in silence, my scribbling and her hooves tapping together nervously being the only audible sounds. With a sigh I got out of my seat, picked her up, and laid down on the longue with her on my chest. She told me that closeness and cuddling was a thing that her support group used to do that made her feel better, but now that it’s been disbanded she doesn’t have anyone to do it with. She was stiff for a few seconds but quickly relaxed and laid her head on my shoulder while I kept drawing.
“…I-I haven’t had any nightmares in a few days.”
“I guess Princess Luna is doing her job then.”
“No, I-I mean… usually, when I do have nightmares about… about-”
“When you were kidnapped?”
“Y-yeah… usually, the nightmares start right when I fall asleep and the princess would stop them before they got too bad… but the last few days, t-they didn’t start right away. T-they were actually nice for once.”
“What were they like?”
“…W-well, my coltfriend was there, I was still in the Royal Guard, and my wing wasn’t messed up.”
“I’m sure that was nice.”
“A-and… you were there too.”
“Me?” I asked as my drawing hand stopped, “Why me?”
“I-I don’t know… but, yeah; it was nice.” The rest of the time was spent in silence as I went back to my drawing and she actually fell asleep for a while.
“I’m sorry,” she apologized as I saw her out.
“Don’t worry about it. Same time next week?”
“Definitely,” she said with a smile. For whatever reason, I felt compelled to reach out and pet her, but I caught myself mid-reach. Unfortunately, she met me the rest of the way and nuzzled my hand before turning and leaving.
Observations: It’s already been a while, but she still has a ways to go before she won’t need me. I haven’t seen her interact with others so I’m not sure if she’s really as bad as she says; I might need to investigate this. Coincidentally, she lives in the same building I do, so that shouldn’t be hard. Ponies must be more uncaring than I assumed; I thought the point of support groups was to support, not give up, but I won’t. Not yet at least.
Author's Note
Thanks to Architect of Realities for the idea, and OMG, is this character development?! Does our OC actually feel compassion? From the looks of things, maybe, but we'll see. I forgot to mention this last time, but I just finished watching Mr.Robot and holy shit is it awesome; so much so that it's been a source of inspiration. I would highly recommend watching.
Name: Crystal Beth
Sex: Female
Age: 22
Occupation: None
Appearance: Unkempt dark-grey coat, disheveled and long off-white mane, brown eyes, malnourished earth-pony build
Session Number: 1
“You’re a little late,” I greeted the shifty pony.
“S-sorry,” she stuttered.
“It’s fine,” I sighed as I motioned towards the sitting room, “come on in.”
“T-thanks,” she said as she trotted past me. When she did, I caught a whiff of something that I still can’t identify, but made me gag.
“Stop!” I exclaimed right as she was about to sit, “Don’t.”
“W-what’s wrong?”
“You smell terrible,” I said bluntly.
“Oh, s-sorry. I-I haven’t had a bath in a few days,” she explained with a small blush.
“…Well, I don’t want you stinking up the place so you’re coming with me.” Not waiting for her response, I held my breath and carried her to the bathroom.
“Y-you don’t have to-”
“Yes I do,” I interrupted as I waited for the shower to warm up. Once it was ready, I rolled up my sleeves and put her under, making her yelp in surprise. She quickly relaxed as I scrubbed the various substances from her coat and mane and repeatedly let out sighs of content.
“I’m glad you’re enjoying this,” I commented with a roll of my eyes.
“Your claws feel great,” she sighs again.
“They’re hands, but okay.”
“…W-why are you doing this?”
“Because you smelled terrible.”
“Y-yeah, I got that. T-thanks, but really.”
“Really, because you stank.”
“Never mind.”
“…You really want to know?” I asked as I turned off the shower.
“Y-yeah,” she replied as she looked at me expectantly.
“Well… I spent a lot of bits on that chaise longue and I didn’t want it getting dirty,” I answered as I dropped a towel on her head, “now, hurry up and dry off; your time’s almost up.” With that, I left the bathroom and waited for her in my usual seat. A few minutes later she came out looking a lot cleaner and sat down.
“So, what’s up?”
“I… I have a problem.”
“You don’t say? Tell me about it.”
“Well… it isn’t much of a secret, but… I’m addicted to Poison Joke.”
“Poison Joke?”
“Y-yeah. It’s a plant that’s harvested and made into a h-hallucinogen.”
“Hmm. And I assume it has negative effects?”
“Y-yeah.”
“But you think they’re worth it.”
“…I used to...”
“Then just stop taking it.”
“I-it’s not that easy… I’m addicted; i-if I don’t have any every few hours, I start to f-freak out and feel terrible.”
“…”
“I…I tried to quit before but… the mare I buy from said I’m a v-valuable customer and gave it to me for free for a while.”
“Do you have a job?”
“N-no. I lost it when they found out… I was going to be a teacher before-before all this happened. I just love foals, but I can’t go anywhere near them now. T-that’s why I live around here.”
“…What do you do for money th-?” she just flashed me a sad look that easily answered my question, “Oh.”
“…My dealer said if I report her, she’d know and have me ‘taken care of.’ I… I don’t want to die,” she whined as she started to cry, “not yet… What do I do?”
“…What?” I mumbled, my drawing hand poking a hole through my paper.
“What should I do? H-how do I get out of this?” she sobbed, “Everypony’s abandoned me; my family, my friends… I don’t have anypony to turn to.” Without any warning, I quickly sat next to her and pulled her into a hug. When I did, I froze for a moment with the obvious question running through my mind, but soon sighed before running a hand through her now fluffy mane.
“…It’s alright,” I comforted, but only made her cry harder as she buried her face in my chest. A few minutes went by as her crying slowly stopped and her hooves wrapped around my neck.
“You alright?” I asked, but was answered with a forceful kiss. I quickly pulled her back and looked at her with wide eye as she looked back with her own.
“I-I-I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to! I…I-”
“R-relax,” I stuttered before clearing my throat and regaining my usual calm face, “I get it. You haven’t had friends in a while and sex is what you’re familiar with.”
“Y-yeah,” she stuttered as her face turned bright red, “I… I just wouldn’t mind having a friend again.”
“Well, you’d be a lot better off picking someone else,” I said as I moved away from her.
“But… I can tell…”
“Tell what?”
“Y-you’re the same as me,” she answered, making me clench my hands, “y-you’re the only one of your kind here, right? So you don’t have any f-family, and I’m not sure if you have friends but… I get the feeling you don’t.”
“…You’re right; I don’t have any friends. I never had any friends, which is why you’d be better off keeping this relationship as it is: strictly business.”
“…I-I better go then,” she said as the sound of hoofsteps moved away from me, “t-thank you for seeing me.”
Observations: I… I don’t know what any of that was about. Is the loneliness finally starting to get to me? Am I starting to crack? I’ve never been affectionate before, so why did I hug her? Why wasn’t I as mad as I should have been when she kissed me? That was my first kiss so I should definitely be mad a talking horse took it... It’s fine; it was just a momentary lapse in judgment, that’s all. That’s definitely what it was... and it won’t happen again.
Author's Note
I don't know too much about hardcore drugs and the lifestyle that comes with them, but from what I hear, it sucks. I was thinking of having her make a return at some point, but I'm not too sure. Let me know what y'all think.
Name: Gale
Session Number: 2
“Hey,” the dark griffon greeted when I opened the door.
“So you did decide to come back,” I commented as I let her in and watched her saunter over to the sitting room.
“Of course,” she replied as she made herself comfortable, “I was really relaxed the last time I was here, so I figured I’d come back.”
“…So you’re just here to hang out?”
“Yeah,” she answered with a smile, “I’ll still pay you of course.”
“Sounds good to me then,” I conceded as I sat in my seat and grabbed my stuff. We sat in silence for a minute as I drew and watched her look around my place out of the corner of my eye.
“Really spacious in here,” she observed, “makes sense; you are pretty big.”
“…Yep.”
“…What’re you writing?”
“Nothing, just drawing.”
“Can I see?” she asked with hopeful eyes.
“…Sure.” I handed her the piece of parchment and she looked at it blankly before an amused smile stretched across her face.
“You think I’m cute?”
“The cutest griffon I’ve seen, but don't read into that too much. I’ve only seen two others.”
“Hmm. Do you think most ponies are cute?”
“From my perspective, it’d be kind of hard to say otherwise.”
“So you think most creatures are cute?”
“I didn’t say that.”
“Hmm…” She handed back my papers and we fell into silence again. This time though, I kept most of my attention on the now suspicious griffon, thinking she was up to something.
“I’m kind of hungry,” she said randomly, “you wouldn’t happen to have any meat, would you?”
“…I do.”
“Really?” she asked, sounding pretty surprised.
“Yeah.”
“Mind if I make something?”
“…Sure,” I answered as I stood up and led the way to the kitchen, “help yourself.” With that, I stood back and watched her prepare whatever she was making. It didn’t take her long to finish and when she did, she made me a plate too.
“Want some?”
“…Not really.”
“Come on, I swear I didn’t poison it. You watched me make it.” I didn’t say anything as I sat in the chair across from her and picked up my fork. Cutting off a piece and carefully putting it in my mouth, I was surprised by how well it was cooked, but I also became even more suspicious.
“So do you actually eat meat, or do you keep it for occasions like this?”
“…Well, I don’t have these canines for nothing,” I said as I showed her.
“Impressive.”
“I guess.”
“…If you don’t mind me asking, what do you do in your spare time?”
“Alright,” I said as I sat my fork down, “what’s going on?”
“Wha?” she asked as she pulled her face out of her food and swallowed, “What do you mean?”
“You’re up to something, aren’t you?”
“What? No,” she replied with an amused smile, “I was just hungry and I figured-”
“That’s obviously not what I meant,” I interrupted as I folded my arms, “I’m taking about all these questions.”
“What’s wrong with wanting to know a little bit about you?” she asked with a slight look of pain.
“That’s just it: no one wants to know anything about me. No one except-” I froze as the realization hit me and I face-palmed, “of course. Alright, we’re done here.”
“What? But I-”
“No, we’re done. I know the princess sent you to find out more about me,” I interrupted again as I stood up, “I guess I should have known when you said you worked for stuffy nobles. When you see her, tell her to send someone a little more capable; you made it just a bit too obvious just then. You were probably lying about being raped too. I guess I should have-” I was suddenly cutoff when she pounced on me, laying me out on my back and pinning me down.
“I’d never lie about that!” she hissed, the anger in her voice and eyes being very obvious.
“So you were sent,” I said flatly, making her freeze for a second before narrowing her eyes at me.
“…How long have you known?”
“I just figured it out. Admittedly, it took a little longer than it should have, but I guess all that matters is I did.”
“Normally, I would have killed you already, but the princess made it very clear to not hurt you-”
“Thanks for that.”
“...And you’re a smartass,” she growled as she put her beak right in my face, “you’re lucky I haven’t learned what I need from you, so if you just tell me what I want to know, you won’t see me again.”
“That's alright” I said casually, making her pull her head back in confusion, “why do that when I can have you keep reporting to the princess empty handed and keep coming back with more money?”
“…You’re sick,” she commented as she got off of me and headed for the door.
“Says the lady who tried to earn my trust with her own sob story,” I said as I rubbed the claw marks on my arms, “I actually envied you for being able to get over it so easily, but now, I just pity you.”
“Why you,” she growled as she stomped back up to me and grabbed my collar. She started to say something, but the words caught in her throat when she looked at my face. With another growl, she let go and stomped back towards the door.
“Hey, where’s my money?!” I asked before being hit in the face with a small bag.
Observations: Jesus. I didn’t know any of these creatures were capable of this level of manipulation; it’s almost scary, but nothing new. I am glad she told me what she's up to so I can avoid actually telling her anything and keep making money, but I’m disgusted by what she was willing to do just for a job. Then again, I guess I'm not that much better.
Author's Note
Well, someone's going to get a stern talking to.
Princess Twilight Sparkle 2
Name: Princess Twilight Sparkle
Session Number: 2
“Hi!” Twilight greeted when I opened the door for her.
“Hi Prin-er, Twilight.”
“You remembered!” she exclaimed as she nuzzled me.
“Yeah,” I said as I watched her trot in and set her bags down, “are you still ‘observing’ me today?”
“Of course! Why? Do you have ponies coming in?”
“No, I was actually just going to pay somepony a visit that would benefit from you being there,” I answered as I put on my jacket.
“Great! I’d be happy to help!” she replied instantly as she followed me out, “Who’re we going to see?”
“You’ll see.” With that, I led the way down the dingy streets with the princess stuck to my side like last time. She quickly relaxed though when we made our way onto the main street leading to the castle downtown. It wasn’t until we were at the front gates of the castle that she guessed that’s where we were going. Surprisingly, the guards didn’t put up any kind of resistance, whether it was because a princess was with me or because they knew who I was, I couldn’t tell, but I was happy I didn’t have to deal with them.
“Mind showing me to the throne room?”
“Uh, sure,” the princess answered as she took the lead, “but I’m pretty sure court is in session right now.”
“That’s not a problem.” We walked the long way down the many elegantly designed halls to the throne room doors where a long line of ponies stretched down and around a corner.
“Hi, I need to speak with the princess,” I said to one of the two guards at the door.
“The end of the line is back there,” one of them answered as he pointed down the hall.
“I figured as much, but you know; I don’t want to wait.”
“I’m sorry Sir, but everypony else is waiting so you’ll have to as well.
“Alright, I didn’t want to have to do this,” I said as I stepped to the side and presented the princess, “Princess Twilight has actually brought me here to see Princess Celestia.”
“I’m sorry Princess,” the one guard said as he and the other bowed, “one moment.” The guard quickly dashed into the room and a minute later returned with an angry noble that stomped down the hall.
“The princess will see you now,” the guard said he held the door open.
“Thanks,” I replied as walked in and saw the long way it was to the throne, “Jesus.”
“What?” Princess Twilight asked as she followed me in.
“Nothing, just stay back here.”
“But I need to observe!”
“I’m sure you’ll be able to see just fine from back here, besides; this is just between me and her.” The princess made a weird face before conceding and sitting down, leaving me to walk the long way by myself.
“Twilight, it’s so nice of you to vis-oh,” Princess Celestia said before looking up from some papers she was reading, “you’re not Twilight.”
“No, I’m just that one human.”
“Ah, so you’re-”
“Don’t,” I interrupted, “I know you know who I am.”
“Oh, well how nice of you to finally come see me,” she said, her motherly smile not fading in the least from my hostility.
“Yeah, because you couldn’t be bothered to come spy on me yourself.”
“I’m sorry?” she said with a slight tilt of her head, “I’m afraid I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Of course you don’t. Well, the next time you want you want to know something about me, just ask. I might not answer you, but at least we won’t waste that much of each other’s time by having me come down here again.”
“I’m sorry,” she giggled as she got up and walked towards me, “you must have me confused with some other pony.”
“Damn, you’re huge,” I commented when she stopped in front of me, the few inches she had on me making me look up, “but no; I know it was you. If you don’t want to admit it, that’s fine, just don’t waste my time again.”
“I’m sorry for the confusion, and wasting your valuable time, but I have many other ponies I need to see.”
“…I can see why your sister hated you.” With that comment, the princess’s smile cracked ever so slightly.
“Excuse me?”
“You say you’re sorry, but don’t actually mean it. You’re not sorry about sending someone else to do your dirty work, you’re not sorry about wasting my time, and if I had to guess, you’re not sorry about what happened with your sister.”
“…You need to leave,” she said as her smile faded and the air around us got a little warm.
“…No problem, Princess,” I said with a bow before turning around, “just don’t have me come back here.” With my hands in my pockets, I walked the long way back to Twilight and out of the throne room, not giving her any time to speak with her fellow princess.
“What did you two talk about?”
“Don’t worry about it,” was all I said before leading the way back to my place. When we reached my building, waiting next to the door was Gale with an angry look on her face.
“Hey Gale. I know you wanted to talk, but you’re going to have to come back another time; I’m entertaining a princess right now.” Her golden eyes scanned me for a second before glancing at the princess and rolling in their sockets.
“I will be back,” she said before turning and disappearing around a corner.
“Who was that?” the princess asked as I opened the door for her.
“An annoyance.” As we walked down the hall towards my loft, I saw a familiar blonde tail quickly disappear around the corner at the other end of the hall.
“…Why don’t you go inside and get comfortable,” I told the princess as I unlocked the door, “I forgot to get my mail.”
“Alright, I’ll be here.” After closing the door behind her, I sighed heavily before heading in the direction of the tail. Turning the corner and walking a few doors down, I knocked on the door with the name ‘Dew Star’ on it.
“Y-yes?”
“It’s me.”
“…M-me who?”
“Oh my God, would you open the door?!” My outburst seemed to blow the door open with a surprised squeal and revealed Dew Star lying on the floor with her hooves over her eyes.
“Sorry,” I sighed as I stepped in and closed the door, “I’m just a little irritated by princesses.”
“P-princesses?” she repeated as she peaked and saw me, “O-oh, it’s you.”
“Yeah, it’s me, but what’s up? You were waiting for me, right?”
“Y-yeah, but I saw you with that mare, s-so…”
“Yeah, that was just Princess Twilight ‘observing’ me.”
“O-observing?”
“Yeah, she’s probably going to be doing it for a while, so I guess you won’t be able to come over whenever.”
“O-oh,” she mumbled as she tapped her hooves together, “w-well… I didn’t want to talk.”
“Oh? What did you need?”
“…I-I…” As she gathered her words, I looked around her place that I’d never been to before and spotted food laid out for two at a table.
“Sorry,” I interrupted her mumbling, “like I said, I have a princess with me. If I get rid of her anytime soon, I might come back.”
“R-really?” she asked as she looked at me with hopeful eyes.
“Maybe,” I reiterated as I opened the door and stepped out, “bye.”
“That took a while,” the princess observed when I returned, “and where’s your mail?”
“Didn’t have any,” I said as I sat down in my chair with a huff, “how much longer are you going to stay?”
“I just got here!”
“Right… Can we do this another time? Talking with Princess Celestia made me-” I stopped for a second as I looked at the princess and remembered her relationship with Celestia “a little on edge.”
“On edge? Oh, because she’s so amazing, right?”
“…Sure.”
“Alright. You didn’t give me any time to talk to her, so I guess I’ll go do that,” she said as she gathered her things, “I’ll come back another time.”
“Great,” I replied as I saw her out, “see you.” I watched her walk down the hall and down the stairs before I went over to Dew Star’s door again.
Observations: Not much to say; I didn’t pay any attention to the princess this time. I can say that she is determined to keep this up, but she might not if Celestia tells her what we talked about, but she probably won’t. I can see now where Twilight gets her brainwashing from and it’s not hard to believe. Despite the hostility between us, I might need to invite Princess Celestia over, just so I can get more perspective. I’ll hold off on that though, no need to rush anything, especially if I still have to deal with Gale.
Author's Note
Seems like our protagonist has forgotten Luna's bit of advise about first impressions. Hopefully it won't come back and bite him in his smart ass. Anyway, ya boi had to take a break from all of the darkish-ness of the story and write a little bit of humor into a chapter, so be on the look out.
I know this is sooner than later, but I figured it would be better to just get this over with. Late Monday morning, I got up at my usual time and prepped myself for a long and probably boring day. Once I was ready, I went and waited outside of Dew Star’s door for her to come out. To say she was surprised to see me is as accurate as it gets.
“Eep!”
“Relax, it’s just me.”
“H-huh?” she mumbled as she peaked from behind her hooves, “O-oh. Thank Celestia.”
“I wouldn’t, but whatever.”
“Hmm?”
“Nothing. You’re going to work, right?”
“Y-yeah…”
“Mind if I observe-er, accompany you?”
“A-accompany? D-did I do something wrong?” she asked as she looked at me nervously.
“That’s what I want to find out.”
“W-well, I-I don’t know if they’ll let you into the library, b-but alright.”
“Great. Lead the way.” Thankful she never asks for any details, I followed her out of the building and down the usual dirty streets. The whole way, I stayed a few steps behind her and watched how she took the less busy streets to get to Canterlot Castle. I was less than thrilled to be back there so soon, but I guess it’s my fault I never bothered to ask what library she worked at. Like last time, getting in wasn’t difficult for me, but I could tell it was almost painful for Dew Star.
On the way to the library, almost every pony she came across would say hi and try to talk to her, but she could barely muster a greeting. A few guards passed by at one point, stopping and saluting us. I replied with a weak-wristed salute while Dew Star panicked and ran off. I tried apologizing for her, but they waved it off saying she always did that.
“Why’d you even bother doing it then?”
“Her reaction’s kinda funny,” one of them answered, making the whole group chuckle. With a shake of my head, I left them and caught up to Dew Star down the hall. A minute later, we were in the giant library where I watched her work for an hour, and what a painful hour it was.
There were only two other ponies working alongside her, a pink unicorn and blue pegasus, and the whole time they would help each other with their work that’s divided between them at the start of the day. The two were done with their work within the hour since they were both able-bodied and sat back with their hooves kicked up as they watched Dew Star struggle. I was pretty sure they gave her more than her fair share and I waited for her to say something about it when I was sure she noticed, but she didn’t; she just sighed and kept working. Getting tired of following her around, I sat down with the two for a while.
“Hey,” I greeted as I pulled out some parchment from my bag.
“Hi,” the unicorn greeted, “…Do you know Dew Star?”
“I’d like to think so.”
“Are you her friend?” the pegasus asked in a disgusted tone.
“No, I’m just obs-…watching her today.”
“Wait,” the unicorn said as she squinted at me with a hoof on her chin, “…Don’t I know you from somewhere?”
“I don’t think so.”
“No wait, I recognize him too,” the Pegasus said as she too thought about it.
“Oh! You’re that human that listens to ponies, right?”
“Oh yeah! Ponies pay you to listen to their problems, and you live in that shady part of the city. What do they call you?”
“The therapist,” I sighed as I tried to focus on my drawing.
“Ah, I get it now,” the unicorn said knowingly.
“Oh, do you?”
“Yeah, Dew Star is one of your customers, isn’t she?”
“…Yeah.”
“Huh, I knew that mare had problems, but jeez. She’s so lonely she had to bring her therapist to work with her,” the pegasus teased.
“Yeah, and for all we know, she’s probably sleeping with him too,” the unicorn said, both of them seeming to already forget I was there.
“I can believe it,” the pegasus commented with a wise nod of her head, “I heard that he sometimes does a little ‘extra’ for his female customers. I wouldn’t doubt that Dew Star’s that lonely.”
“…”
“Mhm. I mean, I don’t blame her to be honest,” the unicorn said strangely, making me glance up at her and see her staring at me with half-lidded eyes.
“Jeez, would you relax. He’s right there.”
“I know and I hope he heard me.”
“Okay,” I finally spoke up after pinching the bridge of my nose, “I think I’ve seen enough. You take lunch breaks, right?”
“Yeah, and if you’re looking for somepony to eat with,” the unicorn started as a hoof slid over to my hand.
“Thanks, but I've got Dew Star,” I said as I stood up and put my stuff into my bag, “if you’ll excuse me. Come on Dew Star, I’m taking you to lunch.”
“A-alright,” she replied as she quickly trotted over from a bookshelf a few feet away. Leaving the two nice mares behind, the two of us left the library, but not before I managed to catch the looks of embarrassment on both of their faces, satisfying me in some strange way.
“So, anywhere in particular you want to go?”
“N-no. I-I usually eat in the castle cafeteria.”
“Alright, I guess we’re both trying something new today.” When we made it outside of the castle, I picked a random street and we followed it until we came to a fancy restaurant with a few nobles going in and out.
“Table for two, please,” I told the hostess when we got inside. She looked the both of us over for a second before shrugging and leading us into the restaurant. Once we were seated in a corner of the place at my request, I noticed Dew Star looked like she wanted to say something.
“What’s wrong?” I asked as I looked over the menu.
“…A-are you sure this is alright?”
“Why wouldn’t it be?”
“I-I don’t want to bother you…” she answered, making me sigh.
“I’ve told you before; you’re not bothering me. If anything, just think of it as me bothering you by forcing you to eat with me. That and I’m sorry for not coming over the other day”
“B-but…” she stuttered as she tapped her hooves together.
“What?”
“…I-isn’t this like a d-date?” she asked, making me freeze.
“…N-no. Of course not,” I answered after clearing my throat, “we’re just having lunch.”
“You two know what you want yet?” a waitress asked suddenly, startling both of us. After quickly giving her our orders, she left us alone again. Absorbed in my own thoughts, I failed to notice a certain pony approach us until Dew Star grabbed my attention.
“D-do you know the p-princess?”
“Princess?” I repeated as I looked up and found Princess Luna standing next to our table, startling me once again “Oh shit!”
“I believe the correct greeting is ‘hello Princess Luna, how are you today?’” she said with a small smirk, “And I would reply, ‘I’m doing just fine, but what are you doing here with this young mare?’”
“From what I’ve heard, everyone’s young compared to you,” I replied, having regained my composure when she was talking to herself.
“…You never cease to amaze me with your bravado, human,” she said through her puffed cheeks.
“Thanks, but I think the actual question is what are you doing here?”
“Can a princess not eat her lunch amongst her subjects?”
“No.”
“Well, excuse me,” she scoffed.
“You’re excused,” I said as I motioned away from our table. Her cheeks puffed up again before she turned with a huff and left us.
“I can never catch a break with these princesses,” I sighed.
“H-how do you know Princess Luna?”
“She came and saw me after that whole Brick incident.”
“S-she did?”
“Yeah, and she was a pain just like the other two.”
“O-other two?”
“Yeah, but enough about them,” I said as I straightened up and focused on her, “this day is still about you.”
“R-right,” she replied as she shrunk a little.
“Don’t worry, you’re not in trouble, but from what I’ve seen you don’t make much of an effort to change.”
“B-but-”
“That being said, it’s not your fault. I know you’ve made an effort at some point with the various ponies in the castle and it hasn’t worked out, but it’s because of them. You heard for yourself what your coworkers think about you. I have no idea why they’d think that, but it sounds like it might partially be my fault. If that is the case-”
“N-no! You didn’t do anything wrong!” she exclaimed quietly, surprising me.
“Uh… alright. My point though, was that you have been trying and that’s all I asked. It’s not your fault other ponies are douches.”
“W-what?”
“Asses.”
“O-oh.”
“So don’t worry about it and just eat this expensive food,” I said as it was placed on our table by the waitress.
“Enjoy, and I just have to say-”
“Please don’t.
“You two are the cutest couple!” she said anyway, making me face-palm.
“…Thanks.” We quickly ate our meal so Dew Star could get back to work and when we left, the princess gave me the stink-eye from her food covered table.
“Well, I’ll see you around,” I said once I walked her back to the castle.
“Y-you’re not going to s-stay?” she asked when I felt my pants leg being held.
“No, I saw what I needed to see. Besides, it looked like you still had a bit of work to do and I don’t want to distract you.”
“…B-but you’re a p-pleasant distraction,” she mumbled at the ground. My head flopped back as I groaned loudly and rubbed my face with both hands.
“Fine,” I sighed, “I didn’t have anything else to do today anyway.” Walking back to the library Dew Star stuck to my side happily, humming some tune the whole way. Distracted by her humming, I failed to notice a pony turning a corner at the same time as me, sending me to the ground.
“Ow,” I moaned as I rubbed the back of my head and sat up, “who the hell-oh. Princess.” The stonewall I ran into just happened to be Princess Celestia, the last one I expected to actually run into today despite walking through her castle. When our eyes met, I saw something strange in them for a split second before her irritating motherly smile was put on.
“Well, if it isn’t my favorite human.”
“I’m the only human.”
“That just makes you that much more precious to me,” she replied as she stood me up with her magic.
“…Yeah.”
“Hello, Dew Star,” the princess greeted the pony hiding behind me.
“H-h-hi.”
“How’s the library?”
“G-g-”
“Could be better to tell you the truth,” I answered for her.
“Oh? What would you recommend I change?”
“Well, I’d recommend you change a lot of things first before the library, but what do I know?”
“Yes,” she said as her smile shrank a little, “what do you know?”
“A lot more than you, Princess,” I said seriously, making her flinch ever so slightly, “but if you’ll excuse us; Dew Star still has some work to do.”
“…Of course.” With that, we left the princess standing by herself at the end of the hall as we returned to the library. Dew Star went back to her work as I sat down and kept up my drawing.
“Oh, you’re back!” the unicorn from before said as she sat next to me and her friend across from her.
“Yep.”
“I’m sorry but I didn’t introduce myself. I’m Crystal Candy, but please, call me Candy.”
“Pleasure.”
“Yes it is,” she muttered, actually managing to make me a little uncomfortable.
“And I’m Jewel,” the pegasus greeted with a friendly smile and wink, “how are ya?”
“Hi.”
“Hmm, you don’t talk much, do you?” Candy observed as I’m pretty sure her seat moved closer to mine.
“I’m a better listener.”
“Well, what a coincidence,” she whispered in my ear seductively, “cause I’m a screamer.”
“Sweet Celestia, Candy! Would you calm down?!” Jewel exclaimed, thankfully pulling the horny pony’s attention off of me.
“What? I can’t help it; he’s just so cute!”
“I guess, but that doesn’t mean you have to pounce on him. Besides, he belongs to Dew Star, and I doubt-”
“I don’t belong to anyone.”
“Ah, so you’re available then,” Candy said as she ran a hoof up and down my arm, “muscular too. I usually have a thing for earth stallions, but you’re better somehow.”
“…Thanks?” I said before hearing a thud and what sounded like a few books falling in the distance, “…Excuse me.” Quickly standing up, I headed in the direction of the noise and found a pile of books with a blonde tail sticking out of it.
“You alright?” I asked as pulled Dew Star out of the pile.
“Y-yeah,” she answered as I stood her up, “I-I just slipped.”
“Are you going to be done anytime soon? That one mare is making me really uncomfortable.”
“W-well, I have to clean this up and when that’s done, I have to sort all of those,” she said as she pointed to a sizable stack of books.
“…This one time,” I said as I picked up some books and replaced them on their shelves, “this one time I’ll help just so I’m not with her.”
“T-thanks,” Dew Star said happily. Thanks to my height and hands, all of the books were sorted within half an hour and I was sitting back in my seat with the strange mare on my right and Dew Star on my left. There was a pleasant silence for a minute or two before Candy broke it.
“Hey, uh, could you come with me and help-”
“No.”
“Oh come on! Stop playing hard to get! Every stallion I know would line up for a piece of this!” she exclaimed with a slap of her flank for emphasis.
“…”
“Alright Candy, you and I both know that’s not true,” Jewel pointed out, “you’ve only bucked like, three times.”
“Shut up! He didn’t have to know!” she hissed at her friend before turning back to me, “Ha ha, ignore my friend.”
“I don’t know, it sounds like she’s onto something,” I replied, “please Jewel, go on.”
“Don’t you dare!”
“Well, we’ve been friends since we were foals and she mistakenly tells me everything, so I’ve got all the dirt you could possibly want.”
“Hmm, good to know. What was her last coltfriend like?”
“Coltfriend?”
“I swear to Celestia-”
“She’s never had one.”
“No! Shut up, shut up!”
“Then how has she had sex?”
“W-well,” Jewel stuttered, seemingly thrown off by my use of the actual word, “she was drunk at a party for each one and she’s said she’s slept with a stallion each time.”
“Oh, so she might be lying?”
“Yeah. I mean, I helped with her estrus once, but we don’t talk about that.”
“Ah.”
“…Are you done embarrassing me now?” Candy said into the table.
“Yeah, I guess.”
“Great! So uh, you wanna go out sometime?” Candy asked as she wiggled her eyebrows at me, making me feel uncomfortable again. The obvious answer popped in my mind halfway through her question, but a glance at a seemingly happy Dew Star made me think otherwise.
“…Sure.”
“R-really?!”
“As long as these two can come.”
“I can work with that!”
“Great,” I said as I stood up, “well, I think that’s enough social interaction for one day. Just let Dew Star know when you want go out and she’ll let me know. Until then, I’ll see you ladies another time. Mind showing me out, Dew Star?”
“O-of course.” When we made it outside the castle, I let out my biggest sigh that day.
“Well, I’ll see you later.”
“…Why?”
“Hmm?”
“W-why did you agree to go out with her?”
“Well, I wouldn’t have said it like that, but if you really want to know, it was for you.”
“M-me?!” she exclaimed as her cheeks flushed.
“Yeah. Whether you know it or not, you are making progress, and I think this is the next step. You’ll get out there, socialize, have fun… It’ll be terrible for me, but that doesn’t matter. Like I said, today’s all about you.” She didn’t say anything as she stared at the ground, most likely thinking about something.
“Well, I’ll see ya.”
“Y-yeah. Bye.”
Author's Note
Well, there ya go: some comedic relief in the form of a horny mare. And if it wasn't obvious, she and Jewel will make a return in a later chapter, probably sooner than later. Until then, we'll stick with our usual dark stuff and possibly have a little more character development.
Name: Rarity
Sex: Female
Age: 20
Occupation: Fashion Designer
Appearance: Off-white coat, expertly curled indigo mane, light-blue eyes, typical unicorn build
Session Number: 1
“Hey, Rarity,” I greeted the mass of bags floating at my door.
“Hello, Darling. Could you be a dear and grab those for me?”
“…You’re joking, right?”
“Certainly not. You wouldn’t deny a lady assistance, would you?”
“Actually, I would. I’ll stand out of the way, if that helps.”
“Hmpf, it’s better than nothing,” she huffed before the bags floated past me and sat themselves down, revealing the source of the eloquent voice, “once again, hello Darling.”
“I see you got your shopping out of the way before coming this time.”
“I had to pick up a few things before coming; I hope you don’t mind,” she said as her magic started setting up her workspace.
“I don’t.”
“Good. Now, why don’t you be a dear and prepare us some tea.”
“I’m sorry Your Grace, but we’re out of that.”
“Out of tea? What kind of household is this? Don’t you regularly have guests?”
“Yeah, and they somehow make it an hour without needing something to drink.”
“Well, what do you have?”
“Let’s see,” I said without moving from my spot, “I’ve got water, juice, water, and more water.”
“A hard choice.”
“Well actually, I’ve a bottle of red wine one of my customers gave me, but haven’t drank since I don’t like wine.”
“I suppose I can help and relieve you of your beverage problem.”
“Of course.” A quick trip to the kitchen had me return with the bottle of wine in a bucket of ice and a single glass. After pouring the glass, it floated out of my and towards the fashion pony.
“You know it’s like, five o’clock, right?”
“It’s not like I’m going anywhere after this,” she said before taking a sip and letting out a satisfied sigh.
“…Excuse me?”
“Oh, did I not tell you in my letter?”
“…”
“Well, the hotel I usually frequent is being renovated.”
“…And you couldn’t stay at another?”
“Of course not!”
“…Whatever.”
“It’s the least you could do.”
“Besides pay you,” I said, but she just ignored me, “well, let’s get this over with.” With my consent, Rarity started floated garments around my loft, laying them all over the place. Stripping down to my underwear, I would take each article of clothing, put it on, and let her look me over to make sure they fit and looked alright.
“No, that won’t do,” she muttered to herself as she slipped a shirt off of me.
“I thought it was fine.”
“Of course you did, Dear. That’s why you’re not making your own clothes.”
“Ow. That and I don’t know how to.”
“It’s best to leave it to the professionals.” Two hours passed by relatively slowly before I was released and able to keep some clothes on.
“Thanks,” I said as she floated clothes into my room, “I really appreciate it.”
“Think nothing of it, Darling. I enjoy making these clothes for you as much as you enjoy wearing them,” she replied with a smile, “oh, and don’t forget to hang that suit. I don’t know what I’d do if you ruined it.”
“You won’t have to worry about that; it’s not like I’ll need it,” I said as I finally sat down.
“Aw, don’t say that,” she cooed as she poured herself another glass, “you never know when you’ll meet that special somepony.”
“Rarity, I’ve told you; that’s not going to happen.”
“Not with that attitude it won’t! You need to be more like moi, and never give up hope… is what I would normally say,” she said before downing her glass and refilling it.
“…Come sit down,” I offered, pulling her away from her sewing.
“Have I told you how much I just adore this chaise longue? I just feel so relaxed when I lay on it,” she said as she did just that, being sure to keep her glass close.
“Yep that’s the point, but what did you mean?”
“I meant, it-”
“Rarity,” I interrupted sternly.
“…You always know when something’s on a mare’s mind, don’t you?”
“It’s my job. Now please, tell me.”
“…I had a recent encounter with a stallion I used to know earlier today.”
“Oh? That must have been nice,” I said mindlessly as I started drawing.
“At first, yes. We caught up over lunch at this nice restaurant; he told me how he recently took over his family’s business and how well it’s doing. I didn’t need to tell him how things are for me since it’s in the news practically everyday.”
“You girls are busy.”
“Quite. After lunch, he actually helped with my shopping and escorted me here.”
“I must have just missed him then.”
“…No, I sent him away…”
“Why?”
“…He was making advances on me, strong ones. While I’ve dealt with my fair share of dense stallions, we had went through this before and I know I made it clear we wouldn’t try it again, but…”
“He didn’t take no for an answer.”
“…Yes. He-he tried to have his way with me, right on your doorstep.”
“Oh my God, are you alright?” I asked, my full attention on her as I scanned for wounds I might have failed to notice.
“I’m quite alright darling. Twilight has taught me a few defensive spells just in case something like this happened… but it’s made me think…”
“About what?”
“…About all of my past relationships. By the end of them, I came to find that the stallions only wanted me for my looks, and not for who I am. I was nothing more than a trophy!”
“Don’t say that.”
“But it’s true… I’ve just about given up on finding that special somepony,” she said sadly before downing another glass.
“…Maybe you’ve been looking in the wrong place?”
“…I’m sorry?” she said as she turned to look at me.
“I mean, maybe a stallion isn’t what you need. Hell, maybe a pony isn’t what you need. As I’ve recently come to find, there are a lot of creatures out there, so there’s bound to be someone you haven’t met or just plain overlooked.”
“…Perhaps you’re right,” she mused as she stared at me with slightly bleary eyes, “perhaps… what I’ve wanted, has been in front of me all along.”
“Perhaps,” I said as I grabbed the glass that was slowly sinking to the floor, “you’ve been hitting that wine pretty hard. I’ll get you some-” I don’t know if it’s this place or just my luck, but I was again kissed by a pony. Shocked that it was happening a second time, it took me a second to separate myself from the intoxicated mare.
“Why haven’t I seen it before?” she mumbled, “You’re the perfect stallion for me.”
“Rarity, you’re drunk. One: I’m not perfect in any sense of the word, and two: I’m not right for anyone.”
“H-how can you say that?” she stuttered as she slid from the longue and into my lap, “You’re so handsome and well-built. Not to mention the best listener.”
“All that’s flattering, really, but you’re drunk. You don’t mean it.”
“I’ve never meant anything more in my entire life,” she slurred as she kissed me on the cheek, “hmm… I’ve never mentioned it, but you have a nice scent.”
“Rarity,” I said sternly as I held her by the shoulders, “get a grip.”
“Don’t mind if I do,” she said before I felt something grab my crotch. To be honest, I regret what happened next. The second it registered that it was her hoof touching me, I shoved her away, making her tumble over the length of the longue and fall on the floor head first. My heart was beating a mile minute as I tried to process what I just did. Luckily, or unluckily, her groan brought me back to reality and I quickly rushed over to her.
“Oh my God, are you alright?!” I asked as I picked her up and laid her on the longue, “I-I’m sorry! I-I just panicked! Y-you were touching me a-and I-”
“It’s alright, Darling,” she interrupted with a hoof over my mouth, “I may have been a little forceful, but that little bump to the head has straightened me out.”
“No,” I said after moving her hoof, “I shouldn’t have reacted like that.”
“Neither should I, but it happened. Please try to forget it did.”
“…I’ll never forget,” I muttered as my trembling hand held her hoof tightly, “and I don’t deserve to be forgiven. I swore…”
“Darling…”
“I’m sorry Rarity,” I said as I kneeled before her, holding onto her hoof, “if you need me for anything, I’ll be at your disposal.”
“Darling, you don’t have to go that far.”
“I do,” I replied as I stood back up and let go of her, “if you don’t need anything, I’ll remove myself from your sight.”
“…Wait,” she said when I reached my bedroom door, “I… I need a cuddle buddy to help me fall asleep.”
“Rarity, I-”
“Usually I have Opal, but since I didn’t bring her with me, I’m left without an alternative.”
“…Of course.” Following me into my room, she made herself comfortable in my bed as I stripped. When I got in, she quickly cuddled up on my right, making me tense up as her soft fur caressed my bare skin. With her head on my chest, my right hand had the intense desire to pet and rub her, and for whatever reason, I gave into to it. Her light sighs of content were enough to tell me I wasn’t doing anything wrong and I kept it up until she fell asleep.
Observations: I… Rarity is just about the only one to ever listen to me. Whether it’s because she really likes gossip or has literally nothing better to do, I don’t know, but… I sorely appreciate it. She’s probably the one who told Twilight where I was… I’ll have to give her an earful in the morning… I can’t believe I did it again.
Author's Note
More character development! It seems our protagonist actually has a few serious problems of his own.
I can never catch a break. Late Sunday evening, there was a persistent pounding on my door that wouldn’t stop no matter how much I ignored it.
“Oh my God, will you sto- …Jesus Christ, what do you want?” I greeted Princess Celestia.
“Hello,” she reciprocated with her usual annoying smile, “I’m simply doing as you asked and not making you come see me.”
“How nice of you,” I replied honestly, “it’s nice to be listened to every once in a while. Come on in.” The look of complete confusion on the princess’s face was almost enough to make me start laughing, but I was able to contain myself as I led her to the sitting room.
“Have a seat. Want a drink?”
“…N-no thank you,” she answered as we both sat down.
“So, what do you need?”
“I… I’m sorry, but… I’m afraid I just don’t understand.”
“Understand what?”
“You.”
“Me? What’s not to understand?”
“What’s not-” she repeated exasperatedly, “Everything! The first time we meet, you’re extremely hostile towards me for whatever reason, and the second was more of the same! Now when I come to you, you aren’t rude in the least! You’re like whole other pony!”
“Person.”
“Wha-yes… person.”
“Alright, I guess I can explain part of problem to you, but I’m a little disappointed you couldn’t figure it out for yourself,” I said with an amused shake of the head.
“Please, enlighten me.”
“Let’s see… When I think about it, I suppose it all started with you.”
“Me?”
“Yep. You and your desire for world peace.”
“What’s wrong with wanting everypony to get along and be equals?”
“Nothing; it’s a great idea in theory. But you and the very words you speak are proof that peace and equality doesn’t exist here.”
“H-how is that?”
“This is what I’m taking about,” I sighed, irritated that she wasn’t getting it, “you pretend to not understand what the problem is, but I know you do. Hell, I'm pretty sure your sister is more aware of it than you. Humor me for a moment: what did you see on your way here?”
“…My citizens?”
“Be more specific.”
“…P-ponies in need?”
“Close, but you’re still dancing around it. It’s not just ponies; there are griffons, mules, minotaurs; there are more than just ponies under your rule. But do they ever get any representation? No. Tell me, when was the last time you spoke to one of your citizens that wasn’t a pony, noble, or fellow princess?”
“…”
“That’s what I thought. You’ve brainwashed yourself with your own idea of peace and equality, and as a consequence haven’t taken the time to even think that maybe, just maybe, other creatures, hell, other ponies, have a different idea of what peace and equality is. You’ve brainwashed all of your subjects to think that it’s their way A.K.A. your way, or the highway. Because everypony thinks you’re a goddess, they won’t dare question you. But you’re no god; a god knows all and sees all. You know nothing and keep yourself from seeing.”
“I…I-”
“But there was someone who knew better, wasn’t there?”
“…I don’t-”
“Yes you do. Twilight,” I stated, making the princess flinch, “she didn’t believe what you said in the beginning, did she?”
“…H-how…”
“I can still see it in her; the doubt. When she came and saw me one time, I took her around the neighborhood; showed her the flipside of what she knows. To be honest, I’ve been holding back on telling her these truths in hopes that she would find out herself, what with her being the Princess of Friendship and all. I still have high hopes for her, but I can see your lessons have rooted themselves deep in her.”
“H-how can you know this? S-she didn’t tell you, did she?” the princess asked worriedly.
“She didn’t have to; I can hear it in the way she speaks and see it in her actions. I find it weird how even though you have doctors, ponies aren’t diagnosed with the most obvious of mental disorders. The overwhelming need to record and analyze anything that has to do with friendship and make some sort of scientific sense of it; she seems to be a little obsessive and compulsive. Sure, you helped her get over her social anxieties and make some friends, and for that I say thanks. But how many friends does she actually have? There’s a difference between calling an acquaintance a friend and someone you’ve known for years a friend.”
“…”
“But what does all of this have to do with my attitude towards you? I’ve pretty much said it but, you’re a tyrant.”
“E-excuse me?”
“Tell me, how much responsibility have you given back to your sister?”
“…A-a little…”
“And how much input have you let Twilight have on any of the affairs dealing with the state?”
“Q-quite a bit, actually.”
“That haven’t dealt with her being an Element or friendship?”
“…”
“Exactly. From where I sit, you’re a tyrant who has the whole country in the palm-er, center of her hoof. If you actually cared about peace and equality, you’d… never mind, that’s the part you’re supposed to figure out. Now, is anything I just said still unclear? Do you need me to repeat anything?”
“I… No, I think I understand… but I think you don’t understand that ruling a country is difficult.”
“I never said it wasn’t, but I think the easiest thing you can do, is just stop.”
“S-stop what?”
“Ruling. You and Luna.”
“Wha-I can’t do that! The nation would crumble overnight! Everypony would panic at the loss of their princess! There would be chaos!”
“I hear there’s an actual god that can handle that.”
“B-but, they wouldn’t know what to do! They don’t know how to take care of themselves!”
“And now we get to bottom of things!” I said happily, “They’re like your kids, aren’t they?”
“…”
“There’s a reason you don’t have any kids of your own, and because of that reason you’ve adopted the idea that your subjects are your children. Well, let the byproduct of a failed relationship and terrible parenting give you some advice: they’ll figure it out. Sure, there’ll be chaos for a while, but they’ll eventually find out they didn’t actually need you and can get by just fine governing themselves.”
“I-I-I-”
“But like I said, that was just a suggestion. I know you’re going to do whatever you want; I just hope it’s for the benefit of everyone, not just you.”
“I-wha-how-”
“Now, what did you actually come over here for?”
“…Guests… coming… tomorrow…” she muttered incoherently.
“…Okay, I’ll be on the look out,” I replied as I got her to her hooves and shuffled her towards the door.
“…You-you-”
“Chin up, Princess. You’ll find a way through this,” I comforted as she stood outside the door, “you always do.”
Author's Note
Damn, rant much?
Princess Cadence and Prince Shining Armor
Names: Princess Cadence and Prince Shining Armor
Ages: Both 25
Occupations: Princess and Prince of the Crystal Empire
Appearance: Princess-Light-pink coat, long violet, rose, and gold mane, light-purple eyes, lean alicorn build
Prince- White coat, sapphire-blue, cerulean, and dark-blue mane, light-blue eyes, muscular unicorn build
Session Number: 1
“Uh… Can I help you two?” I greeted the colorful couple at my door.
“You’re the therapist, right?” the pink mare asked.
“Yeah.”
“Auntie Celestia should have told you about us.”
“Auntie?” I repeated, confused for the first time in a while, “…Alright, I give. Who are you?”
“You’re joking, right?” the stallion asked and I just stared at him blankly, “…I guess not.”
“Relax, Shining; he’s not from around here. Please excuse my husband,” the mare said as she stepped forward, “I’m Princess Cadence, ruler of the Crystal Empire and Princess of Love.”
“And I’m Prince Shining Armor.”
“Shining Armor… Ah, your Twilight’s brother, right?”
“You know Twilight?”
“I wish I didn’t, but whatever.”
“Excuse-”
“Princess of Love, huh?” I said as I noticed the wings and horn on the mare, “…There’s a Princess of Friendship, so why not? Come on in.” Motioning to the sitting room, the couple trotted in and sat next to each other on the longue as I sat in my seat with my usual materials.
“Full disclosure: I’ve never done a couple’s session before, so we’ll see how this goes and I've got another appointment in a few minutes. So, what’s wrong?”
“Well-”
“Nothing apparently,” the prince interrupted as he folded his hooves.
“Shining, you said you wouldn’t interrupt me!” the princess snapped and the prince just pouted and turned his head.
“…Uh, why don’t we take turns talking,” I offered, “Princess?”
“Well, before I was cutoff, I was going to say that Shining seems to have a few trust issues.”
“Wha- I don’t-”
“Hey,” I stopped, “the princess is talking.” He looked like he was going to keep talking anyway, but when he looked at me he closed his mouth and went back to pouting.
“So, explain.”
“About two weeks ago, Shining may have caught me and another stallion in a… suggestive situation.”
“… Alright, and I’m going to guess he didn’t react the way you would have liked him to.”
“Yeah, he kind of lost it… understandably, I guess.”
“What do you mean, you guess?”
“Well, as the Princess of Love, it’s my duty to make sure ponies find and express their love appropriately.”
“By sleeping with them.”
“W-well, this stallion in particular had… confidence issues and I thought it was the best way to comfort him.”
“I’m sure he was pretty comfortable,” I muttered.
“Excuse-”
“Alright, Prince; your turn. Just to clarify, all of that’s true, right?”
“Yeah.”
“So, what’d you do?”
“I kicked his ass, of course!”
“Unnecessarily.”
“Princess,” I said sternly, “please. Then what?”
“After she healed him and sent him on his way, we had long, and admittedly heated, talk. Apparently, she’s been doing this for a while, with not just stallions, but mares and other creatures!”
“Hm. Princess?”
“Like I said, it’s my job! Shining said he would support me no matter what when we got married and after a few years of a fulfilling marriage, this one bump is ruining it!”
“You almost make it sound like it has nothing to do with you.”
“I’m not saying that, but I am saying that Shining is blowing this way out of proportion. He’s acting as if I don’t know he sleeps with a mare every now and again.”
“Wha-I-”
“Prince?”
“…Okay, so what if I did?! It’s only because she was doing it!”
“Oh, well I guess that makes it okay then.”
“…R-real-”
“No. No it doesn’t,” I said before sighing and thinking for a moment, “so Princess, you’re not lying when you said you’re doing it because it’s your job, right?”
“I wasn’t.”
“Okay, so you’ve got your reasoning; what about you Prince? She says you’ve been doing it before you found out. So?”
“…I…” he mumbled as he looked between his wife’s peeved face and my indifferent one, “I…I haven’t been too confident in myself lately.”
“Oh?”
“To be honest… her sleeping with others doesn’t really bother me. What bothers me is the thought that they’re fulfilling her in ways that I’m not… I’ve actually known about it for a while-”
“Y-you have?” the princess questioned as her anger quickly left.
“Yeah… I would see how happy you were after helping ponies, and I thought they were the ones making you happy. So, I started sleeping with other mares to get better at s-sex,” he mumbled the word, making me roll my eyes, “and I would surprise you the next time we did it… I-I just want to make you happy, Cady, and it just hurt knowing others were doing it better than me.”
“Oh, Shining,” the princess said sadly as she took one of his hooves, “you do make me happy. You make me feel like the happiest mare in all of Equis everyday, just by being at my side.”
“T-then what about what I saw?”
“It’s true that the ponies I sleep with make me happy, but not because of the sex,” she said without stuttering, impressing me, “it’s the renewal of their self-confidence and seeing them happy that makes me feel that way, but it’s nothing compared to the way you make me feel.”
“Oh, Cady,” the prince sniffled before kissing his wife. I sat there awkwardly and impatiently as the two made-out for exactly fifteen seconds before separating to take a breath.
“And if it makes you feel any better,” the princess started as she swirled a hoof on the prince’s chest, “they don’t know my sweet spots like you do.”
“…I…” the prince mumbled as his face flushed, “I think we should go back to the castle.”
“My thoughts exactly,” the princess said before the two just vanished.
“…”
Final Observations: From everything I’ve seen, royalty seem to live on a whole other planet where basic things like communication and reality, don’t exist, causing simple problems like this to be solved with a short conversation. Except for Princess Luna, the rest of these ponies need to take their heads out of Celestia’s ass and learn how to be functioning ~~people~~ ponies. The whole situation seemed serious for a while until I realized they’re both just stupid, but for what it’s worth their love was genuine, so whatever. I didn’t get paid… again.
Name: Dew Star
Session Number: 15
“Ready to go?” I asked Dew Star when she stepped out of her place.
“I-I guess.”
“Let’s get this over with then,” I sighed as I started down the hall with her quickly following after. Half an hour of walking later, the two of us arrived at a club with a long line full of interesting looking creatures stretching from the door.
“Club Grace?” I read right as a pony stumbled out of the door and fell face-first at my feet, “…Very graceful.”
“Hey you two!” a voice called from the door. At it were Jewel and Crystal Candy, one looking like she did the last time I saw her and the other wearing clothes and quite a bit of make-up.
“I’m glad you came!” Candy said happily as they trotted up.
“I said I would. Hey, Jewel.”
“Hi. Hello, Dew Star.”
“H-Hi.”
“Come on in! The DJ’s awesome!” Candy said as her magic pulled my hand. With a sigh, I let her lead me to the door that was opened by one of the bouncers, letting the deafening music blast me in the face. Feeling Dew Star’s side against my own, we walked into the large and relatively dark place; the large mass of dancing ponies and other creatures making me feel the slightest bit uneasy. Neither of us had to worry about them though as Candy led us up some stairs to a VIP balcony area that had magic barriers around it dampening the loud music.
“Would you like anything to drink?” a stallion asked once we were sitting down.
“The strongest thing you’ve got,” I answered, making him nod before turning, but I stopped him, “no, the strongest thing you’ve got .”
“Yes, sir,” he replied with an amused smile before leaving.
“Isn’t this place awesome?!” Candy asked as she sat with half of her body in my lap and her drink in her magic.
“It’s alright, but I didn’t know this is what you meant when you said we’d be listening to some music.”
“When I heard DJ Pon-3 was in town, I just had to get you to see her.”
“Oh, you mean Vinyl Scratch?”
“You know her?” Jewel asked.
“Yeah. I talked to her a few times when I was still in Ponyville.”
“You lived in Ponyville?!” Candy asked after gasping.
“…Yeah. Why?”
“Have you met Princess Twilight?!”
“Yeah. I’ve met all of the Elements of Harmony, even though I don’t remember some of them.”
“That must have been interesting,” Jewel commented.
“Eh, they’re alright.”
“What’s that mean?”
“Let’s just say the Elements you know aren’t the same ones I do,” I answered as my drink arrived, “thanks.”
“How is work going, by the way?” Candy asked.
“Eh, could be better,” I answered before taking a sip of my drink, “…weak.”
“Can you tell me anything? Like, have any of the princesses come see you and told their deepest, darkest secrets?”
“Well, I’ve seen all of the princess now, but I can’t tell you anything; I promised I wouldn’t.”
“Aw, that’s no fun.”
“Sorry,” I replied with a shrug before downing the rest of my drink.
“Careful there, stud. You just got here.”
“I know,” I sighed before flagging down the server for another drink and leaning over to Dew Star, “how are you doing?”
“I-I didn’t know DJ-Pon-3 was going to be here,” she answered with a smile, “I-I love her music.”
“Hmm,” I hummed as I looked across the dance floor at where said DJ was setup, “…I’m sure I can get her to meet you.”
“Really?!” she said without stuttering, “That’d be amazing!”
“Oh, can we get in on that?” Jewel asked.
“Sure,” I said as I stood up, “give me a minute.” Thankful to be able to take a break from talking, I headed down the stairs towards the dance floor. Seeing no easy way around, I cut through the crowd of furry and sweaty creatures, only getting my feet stepped on four times on the way. When I was right in front of the stage, I only had to wait a few seconds for her to notice me and smile wider than she already was. After taking a moment to switch records, she threw herself off the stage and into my arms.
“Holy shit! I didn’t know you were going to be here, Dude!” she exclaimed as she squeezed the life out of my neck.
“Neither did I,” I replied when I was able to breath again, “but do you mind doing something for me?”
“Of course not!” With that confirmation, I carried her through the crowd and back up to my group.
“Well, here you go,” I said as I put her down, “Vinyl, meet Jewel, Candy, and Dew Star.”
“Damn, you’re rolling in mares, Man!” she said before raising her glasses and winking at them, “How’s it hanging, ladies?”
“Oh. My. Luna. It is DJ Pon-3!” Dew Star squealed, surprising the three of us.
“The one and only!” she replied as she stuck her nose in the air.
“I’m like, your biggest fan! I have all your records and I used to go to all of your shows!” she said excitedly as she bounced in front of her.
“I appreciate it! It’s always great to meet actual fans.”
“What’s that mean?” I asked.
“Well, my name hasn’t been out there all that much lately, so I haven’t been playing a lot.”
“Oh, that sucks,” Jewel commented, “if it makes you feel any better, me and her were at your last two gigs specifically for you.”
“Aw, thanks! It just warms my heart to know kids these days still know what good music is,” she said as she wiped away a fake tear.
“…What?” three of us said.
“Let’s get some drinks over here!” she shouted, making a server dash to her side, “We need beer, rum, and shots! And keep ‘em coming until we can’t walk straight!”
“Hey, I thought you were cutting back,” I remembered.
“I did! I used to not stop until I passed out!” she chuckled.
“Baby steps, I guess.”
“Yep! So, you guys a herd or what?” she asked as she sat down. Two of us said no and the other two said yes, making us all look at each other funnily before I spoke up.
“No, this is just a… a date.”
“And how’s it going so far?”
“Could be better, but it’s not terrible,” I answered as I sat next to her.
“That’s too bad. I’m make it up to you when we go on our date!” she said as she slid into my lap.
“That’s alright.”
“Ow, shot down again,” she sighed as she held her chest.
“Last I remember, you said you had plenty of groupies to hang out with.”
“Yeah, but I always got room in my plot for you,” she said, making me face-palm, “that and Octavia doesn’t like having random ponies showing up at our place.”
“I feel so bad for that mare.”
“Eh, she’s fine,” she said as our drinks arrived, “finally. Now, a toast.”
“To what?”
“New friends!”
“And love,” Jewel added, making me squint at her and she stuck her tongue out at me in response. With a shake of my head, I downed the shot with ease before glancing over at Dew Star. She had the biggest smile I’d ever seen as she basked in the overwhelmingly bright glow of Vinyl Scratch and it was then that I thought the night was a success.
“Wanna dance?” Candy asked.
“…One second,” I said before drinking all of the shots, “alright.” A weird smile was on her face as she took my hand again and led me down into the dance floor. Pushing our way to the middle of the floor, I felt a lot more at ease as the alcohol finally started to kick in and help me ignore the occasional bumps and shoves. Since Vinyl’s music is actually good, I didn’t have a problem dancing even if I’m not the best at it. Candy didn’t seem to care though as she bounced along with me, every so often grinding her flank into me.
A whole hour passed by pretty quickly before we headed back up to our group. When we got there, I found Vinyl all over a blushing Dew Star.
“We should hang out after this,” Vinyl slurred.
“T-that’s alright. I-I’m with h-him.”
“I’m sure he won’t mind letting me borrow you for one night.”
“I think she needs help,” Jewel told me.
“Really?” I asked as I looked at the still smiling mare, “She seems fine to me.”
“And I thought you knew her,” Jewel said with a raised brow. Taking a second to rub my slightly bleary eyes, I looked at Dew Star again and noticed her hooves tapping together, confirming what Jewel said.
“Hey, Vinyl; I think one of your records was skipping.”
“What?!” she exclaimed as she hopped onto her hooves, “I gotta go!” Throwing her glasses back on, she jumped off the balcony and crowd surfed her way back onto the stage.
“You alright?” I asked Dew Star as I sat next to her.
“…Y-yeah.”
“Sorry I wasn’t looking out for you. I kind of forgot who we were here for.”
“…I-it’s alright,” she muttered before putting her face in my side.
“Uh… I think we’re going to head out.”
“What! But you just-”
“That’s a good idea,” Jewel interrupted, “why don’t you walk them out, Candy?” With a raised brow, she looked at each of us before sighing and leading the way. Carrying Dew Star down the stairs, I waved to Vinyl, but she was too busy making out with a mare on stage to notice.
“Thanks,” I said to Candy when we were outside, “and I’m sorry I had to cut this short.”
“It’s alright, I understand. I’ll be sure to pick a better place for us to hang out at. You know, if there’s a next time.”
“There just might be,” I confirmed as I petted her before starting down the street.
“A-and maybe it’ll be just us two?”
“Don’t push it.”
“O-of course. See you later! Bye Dew Star!” With our goodbyes said, I made the long, slow, and slightly wobbly way back to our building. When I got to her door and went to put her down, her grip on my neck tightened. With a sigh, I turned and went to my place where I just collapsed on my bed, not bothering to take off my clothes.
“You alright?”
“…”
“Did she bother you that much?”
“…Y-yeah… I-I didn’t know she was so-so-”
“Promiscuous? Yeah, it surprised me at first too, but she’s a good pony. Sorry about that. I guess I should have seen that coming.”
“N-no, it’s alright, really! I-I appreciate you getting her to meet me.”
“Meeting celebrities isn’t all it’s cracked up to be, huh?”
“I-I guess not...”
Observations: So, I may have been wrong when I thought the night was a success, but then again it might have been. Candy and Jewel seem to have a different impression of her, so that’s good, and I may as well add myself to that list. It was interesting seeing the old Dew Star, even if it was for a moment. She’s not as bad in social situations as I thought, but maybe that’s just because it was a familiar place so she knew how to blend in, or it was because we were there with her; I don’t know. She is slowly changing though and that’s good, but… I don’t know how I feel about that.
Author's Note
Well, there ya go. Might be a while for the next chapter since school started back up and I'm working more. I usually have another chapter or two done when I upload one, but I've been slacking and running out of ideas. I wanna finish one of the various storylines I've started but don't have anything, so SHOW ME WHAT YOU'VE GOT!
Name: Gale
Session Number: 3
“Oh, hey. You came back,” I greeted Gale at my door.
“Surprised to see me?”
“No, just surprised it took you so long.”
“The princess has been a little busy recently, and I heard it was because of you,” she replied as she sauntered in.
“I… I don’t know anything about that…”
“…Right,” she said, unconvinced as she sat down, “well from what she’s told me, she’s only spoken to me and Princess Luna since she came back from her outing last Sunday. If I was doing my job correctly, and I like to think I was, I’m pretty sure she came here.”
“Okay, so? What do you want from me?”
“Answers.”
“…You’re already ruining my quiet evening, so why not? It’s pretty clear my plan to make money backfired when she came here herself. So, what do you or the princess want to know?”
“First things first: you don’t plan on attacking the country, do you?”
“Me? The one who doesn’t compare to any of the creatures in this world on any level except common sense? Yeah, I’m going to attack you guys full force in the next week.”
“Alright smartass, just making sure. Now, how’s your relationship with the locals?”
“As far as I know, no one hates me despite how much I might hate them and I haven’t gotten into a fight yet.”
“Yet?”
“It’ll happen eventually and when it does, you can look forward to seeing my swollen face.”
“Well, unluckily for me, I’ll have to stop watching over you after I report back with this.”
“Oh, so you’ve been watching me?”
“Of course. Truth is; I’ve been watching you since you got to Canterlot at the princess’s request. She’s always had an eye on you.”
“…That’s nice to know now,” I mumbled as I looked around my loft suspiciously, “is Princess Twilight aware of this?”
“No. Princess Celestia was using Princess Twilight’s daily reports on you to learn what she needed at the time, but once you became more unpredictable she hired me to watch you.”
“…I guess the princess deserves a little credit where it’s due.”
“I’d say so. Now, what are your feelings towards Dew Star?”
“Dew Star? What does she have to do with anything?”
“I saw you and her head to that club the other night. Considering you don’t have any friends and she’s one of your most frequent customers, the princess wants to know what you’re planning on doing with her.”
“Jesus, I’m not doing anything with her; I was just helping her out.”
“By having her sleep with you?”
“God, if you were actually spying on me, you’d know I carried her back to her place after she fell asleep. I don’t enjoy sharing a bed.”
“…Alright, and what are your feelings towards the princess?”
“Well, I don’t hate her, but I still think she’s a tyrant. Besides all of the things I told her last time, she seems like a nice enough pony-”
“Do you see yourself becoming friends with her?”
“…What?”
“Do you think you could be her friend?”
“No… No, I can’t be anyone’s friend. Why? She doesn’t want to be my friend, does she?”
“I don’t know, this is just what she wants to know,” she answered with a roll of her eyes.
“If I ever decide to start having friends, she can be the first on my list if that pleases her.”
“Alright, and lastly; let me have all of the files you have on your customers.”
“Oh, alright. Let me just reach into this file cabinet,” I said as I did so and pulled out a single piece of paper, “oh, would you look at that?”
“What?”
“It’s a piece of paper that says, ‘fuck you,’” I said as I showed her said paper, “the one and only rule I follow is that I don’t tell anyone about what happens in here, even the princesses.”
“She said you might make this difficult,” she sighed as she stood up, “just give me the files and-”
“And what? You won’t take them by force?”
“Well, you did say you’d eventually get into a fight,” she said matter of factly with a smirk, "and the princess said she's not too concerned for your safety anymore after you've shown her how well you can take care of yourself."
“…Okay, let’s not resort to violence,” I said as I too stood up and moved in front of the cabinet, “because no matter what happens, you’re not leaving with anything besides what I already gave you.”
“Oh, so you’re saying you can take me?” she asked as she lowered into a defensive stance.
“You obviously didn’t hear what I said earlier. I’m saying that even if you do beat the shit out of me, you’re not getting anything.”
“We’ll see about that!” she said before pouncing on me.
“Hey, calm down!” I exclaimed as I caught her wrists, “Is it really this serious?!”
“Yes! I’ve failed already, I can’t again!” she said as she easily broke out of my hold and knocked me to the floor. Quickly getting back up, I tackled her away from the cabinet and pinned her on her back.
“There’s nothing wrong with failing a second time,” I said through clenched teeth as I fought with all my strength to hold her down.
“That’s what you think!” she said before kicking me in the stomach, making me let go of her and fall on my side. She stood back up and took a moment to dust herself off before heading to the cabinet again, but I held her back by her tail.
“J-just give up,” I coughed.
“I could say the same to you,” she said before kicking me in the face, my nose letting out a sickening crack, “whoops. Sorry, I didn’t know you were so soft.” I held my bloody nose as I watched her reach for the cabinet, only for her claw to be shocked and make her jump back with a small yelp.
“What the- what did you do?!”
“Heh, I didn’t think that magical charm worked,” I said nasally through my bloody hand as I sat up and looked at the unassuming rock on top of the cabinet.
“You have magic protecting this?”
“Of course. Just because I can’t control magic doesn’t mean I don’t use it,” I said as I stood up and walked past her, “Now, it would be great if you’d leave; I’m a little upset that you just broke my nose.” She stared at me stupidly as I opened the door and pointed, but my finger poked something on the other side.
“Oh my Celestia! A-are you okay?!” Dew Star asked when I looked at her, “My goodness, your face!”
“Oh, perfect timing. Do you know where the closest hospital is?”
“W-who did this?” she asked as she moved my hand and looked at my smashed nose.
“Uh,” I muttered as I looked towards my sitting room and found nothing but an open window, “…no one. I fell.”
“L-let’s hurry then.”
Observations: What do I get for cooperating? A broken nose and a hospital bill. And I didn’t get paid again… it’s almost like I’m working for free, but at least I won’t see her again… Does this mean she’s being replaced, though? Or has the princess really stopped caring about me? I hope to God she’s stopped caring; I’m getting tired of royalty.
Princess Twilight Sparkle 3
Name: Princess Twilight Sparkle
Session Number: 3
“Hi!” the princess greeted with an overly friendly nuzzle when I opened the door.
“Hey,” I replied as I stepped away, “it’s been a little while.”
“Yeah, the girls and I had some stuff going on,” she said as she trotted in and set her bags down like usual.
“So, what do you want to do this time?”
“Well since we’re friends, I thought we could-”
“We’re not friends.”
“Aw, don’t say that!”
“Right, well what did you have in mind?”
“Well, I didn’t come here alone; the rest of the girls are outside!”
“…Why?”
“Most of them haven’t seen you in a while, so I thought I’d bring them with me.”
“…Save for maybe one, I’m almost certain most of them don’t care about me.”
“That’s not true; Pinkie’s been wanting to see you for a while.”
“Too bad I can’t say the same. I know you know she can be extremely annoying.”
“I’m not arguing that, but she does want to see you; they all do.” I sighed extremely hard into the hand that covered my face before looking at the princess’s anxious face.
“…Fine, they can come up.”
“Yay!” she exclaimed before running out of my door and coming back a minute later with her friends.
“Hello, Darling,” Rarity greeted when she was the first to rush through the door.
“Hey,” I replied as she started nuzzling me, only to suddenly stop and awkwardly trot past me.
“Nice place you got here,” Rainbow Dash commented as she floated through the door.
“Thanks.”
“Too bad it’s in this neighborhood.”
“…What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Nothing, Dude; relax,” she said defensively as she floated past me, “it’s just that somepony as awesome as me wouldn’t be caught dead around here.”
“If someone hears you talking like that, you just might be.” She quickly spun around to say something back, but didn’t for whatever reason and followed after Rarity.
“Howdy there, Sugarcube!” Applejack greeted next with a warm smile.
“Hey.”
“So this is where ya been hidin out.”
“Yep.”
“And right after ya said you were gonna help out on the farm,” she scolded lightly.
“Oh, right. This is the first time I’ve thought about it since you told me, sorry.”
“Don’t worry about it, but it’s nice to see ya.”
“BEST FRIEND!” a voice said before a furry mass clung to my face. I sighed into it before running a finger down its spine, causing it to go limp and fall off of me.
“Hi, Pinkie.”
“I-I thought I told you not to do that!” she said in a heap on the floor.
“And I thought I told you to stop hugging me.”
“H-hello,” an extremely quiet voice said, pulling my attention off the paralyzed pony.
“Hi, Fluttershy,” I greeted the shy pony as she still stood outside the door.
“Go on in, Fluttershy. He’s not going to bite,” the princess said as she nudged her friend from behind.
“Alright. Excuse me,” she muttered as she stepped over her collapsed friend and rejoined her others.
“I forget how many of you there are,” I commented as I followed the princess into the sitting room.
“There’s only six of us,” Rainbow said from the top of a bookshelf.
“…Yeah, six too many.”
“It’s alright girls, he doesn’t mean it. Do you, Dear?” Rarity asked.
“I at least partially mean it.”
“Does that mean I’m not your best friend anymore?” Pinkie asked from the floor a few paces away.
“Yes, that is exactly what that means.”
“Jeez, I’m kinda regretting coming here with you, Twilight,” Rainbow said, “I didn’t remember him being such a jerk.”
“Well, we did just barge into his home without any warnin, so cut ‘em some slack,” Applejack reasoned for me.
“How have you been, if you don’t mind me asking,” Fluttershy spoke up.
“Other than having my nose broken a few days ago, I’m fine.”
“What?!”
“Who would dare do such a thing?!”
“No! Not my best friend!”
“Point me to ‘em and ah’ll make sure they’re sorry.”
“Eh,” Rainbow shrugged, making the rest of them glare at her “what?”
“I’ll write Princess Celestia right now,” Twilight said as my parchment and quill floated off my desk towards her.
“That’s alright,” I replied as I caught the items, “I’m sure she already knows and I’m over it for the most part.”
“How does she know already?”
“…It’s complicated, and I technically can’t tell you.”
“Keeping secrets from your best friends isn’t good!” Pinkie advised from over my shoulder as she clung to my back.
“Well, it’s my job to keep secrets,” I explained as I glanced at Rarity and she quickly looked away, “it doesn’t matter how great a friend you are; I keep secrets from everyone.”
“That doesn’t sound too healthy,” Fluttershy muttered, “even I tell my animal friends my secrets, not that I have any.”
“Thanks, but considering how smart the average animal is around here, I’m better off keeping things to myself. Now besides wanting to seeing me, which I still don’t believe, is there a reason you all came over?”
“We did come here at first just to tell Princess Celestia what happened during out last adventure, but Twilight dragged us over here,” Rainbow explained.
“Oh did she now?” I replied as I gave the nervous princess a sideways glance.
“Hush now, Dash! What’s wrong with wantin to visit a friend?” Applejack said.
“You girls keep using that word, but I’m pretty sure you don’t know what it means,” I said as I face-palmed.
“Of course we know what it means to be a friend!” the princess defended, “Don’t we girls?” Each one of them responded positively and confidently.
“Oh? Then explain it to me,” I said as I sat down and folded my arms.
“Well, a friend is loyal and always looks out for her friends.”
“And she ain’t afraid to be honest with ‘em.”
“But is always kind too.”
“She is also very generous and doesn’t mind lending a helping hoof.”
“But most importantly, she knows how to make them laugh!”
“And when they all come together, they create powerful magic!”
“…You all make very good points,” I said as I nodded wisely, “but I think you all forgot one thing.”
“We did?” the princess said as they all looked between each other.
“Yeah. A friend also makes sure to remember her so called ‘friend’s’ name.” As soon as the words left my mouth, silence took over the room. All of them, including Rainbow, sat completely still as their mouths slowly fell open.
“I know what a few of you are thinking; ‘there’s no way I don’t know his name! I just don’t remember it!’ But no; you don’t remember because you don’t know.”
“T-there’s no way,” the princess mumbled, “…there has to be some kind of mistake.”
“No, none of you ever asked; it’s that simple. Because I’ve only spoken to all of you a handful of times, I can remember each time we spoke. Up until now when I brought it up, none of you have been concerned with what my name could possibly be. And because I feel like being an asshole, I’m not going to tell you, but I will say it isn’t The Therapist or Human.”
“…A-alright, ah can accept that ah can’t rightly call ya a friend, but do ya at least consider us friends?”
“Hmm…No, not really,” I answered honestly, “I mean, I know the most basic things about each of you that literally anyone who’s heard of you knows. I’m nothing more than an acquaintance; an acquaintance that has other things to do. Now, as much as I love having all of you here, I’m sure Princess Celestia doesn’t like to be kept waiting.” Without saying anything, they all stood up and slowly trotted towards the door.
“Next time, send a little warning before you show up,” I said as I held the door and watched them file out sadly.
“B-bye Best Fri-…Acquaintance,” Pinkie said as she left, her mane significantly straighter than it was a minute ago. Fluttershy followed right after without saying anything.
“Ah’m sorry ah forgot the most basic of manners,” Applejack said as she followed her friends.
“Don’t feel too bad; literally everyone I’ve met here has forgotten too.”
“See ya… Jerk,” Rainbow said as she floated out.
“That’s not my name either.”
“…Forgive me, Dear… For everything,” Rarity said before she left.
“…”
“I…I’m sorry,” the princess said as she looked at the floor sadly, “I actually thought we were friends…”
“Hey, you can think whatever you want, but uh… I’d advise you to speak with your fellow princess. I’m sure she has some answers to the questions you’re thinking about right now.” The princess flashed me her sad eyes before floating her stuff onto her back and following after her friends.
Observations: Looks like my plan to slowly change the princess’s view of friendship is working, even if some unforeseen consequences are popping up. I may have been a little harsh on all of them by drawing attention to their blissful ignorance, but what’s done is done. The princess is one of my customers, so I have to get her to change for the better, but it might just end up being for the worse.
Author's Note
At the extreme demand of someone, here's the next chapter.
Name: Crystal Beth
Session Number: 2
“Hello?” I greeted the shifty and once again filthy mare.
“H-h-hey,” she struggled to say as her bleary eyes looked up at me.
“…You okay?”
“N-not r-really,” she answered as she shakily stepped through the door.
“…Are you on that Poison Joke?”
“’T-that P-poison Joke?’ Y-you sound l-like my dad,” she tried to chuckle but just went into a coughing fit.
“Jesus, you sound terrible.”
“C-can I h-have some w-water?”
“Sure,” I said before leaving and returning a minute later with two glasses. She drank both within a few seconds before attempting to lie on the chaise longue.
“Looks like you forgot what I said last time,” I said as I held her a few inches away from the longue.
“S-sorry. I-I just r-really need to l-lie down,” she panted.
“And another bath; you’re all sweaty and slimy,” I added with a sigh before taking her to the bathroom. Like last time, I rolled up my sleeves and washed the various substances from her coat and mane as she sighed with content. Despite the weird sounds she made, her body was strangely warm and trembled the whole time.
“What’s wrong with you?” I asked when I was done.
“N-nothing m-more than usual,” she replied as she struggled to dry herself. Even though it was a dark joke, I chuckled lightly as I took the towel and dried her myself.
“I see, but seriously. We’ve only seen each other once before and I can still tell something is off.”
“…W-well, I-I thought I’d give that q-quitting thing another t-try.”
“What about your dealer?”
“I-I figured I wouldn’t m-make it through this a-anyway. I-I’m already c-cracking,” she said as she struggled to not collapse under my already delicate hands.
“…Guess you better lie down then,” I said as I picked her up and carried her to my bed, “how long does this usually take?”
“I-I don’t know. A-A few days, a w-week at m-most.”
“…Gonna be a long week, huh?” I sighed as I put the covers over her and turned to leave.
“I-I don’t have enough m-money t-to stay that long.”
“Don’t worry about it; I practically do this job for free now anyway.”
“M-my dealer m-might come l-looking for me.”
“I’ll deal with that when it happens.”
“…W-why are you h-helping me?”
“…I guess I’ve got a soft spot for girls in pain,” I answered flatly before leaving. The rest of the day went by pretty quietly as I like it to, especially since I planned on taking the week off. I also planned on traveling to one of the other cities or towns I’ve heard about, but I guess I’ll postpone that. I fed her whatever she was able to keep down and stayed by her side the whole time, being sure to keep a mop and bucket close.
The next day her condition didn’t change much; she was still bedridden and shaking like Dew Star in the presence of three or more ponies. Speaking of which, Dew Star showed up around lunch, interrupting the meal I was trying to feed Beth.
“What’s up?”
“H-Hi. I-I just wanted to see if you’ve eaten yet.”
“I’m in the middle of that right now, but shouldn’t you be at the castle?”
“I-I have the week off.”
“…What a coincidence.”
“Y-yeah…”
“…”
“…C-can I come in?”
“Uh,” I muttered as I looked back at my bedroom door, “…Sure.” Stepping to the side, I let Dew Star happily trot in and head towards the kitchen.
“W-what were you eating?”
“Soup,” I answered as I pointed to the pot on the stove.
“T-that’s it?”
“…My stomach’s been bothering me lately.”
“I-it’s probably all that m-meat you eat.”
“Yeah, maybe. You can have some,” I offered, causing her to make a semi-horrified face that made me smirk, “the soup I mean.”
“O-oh. O-of course.” With my permission given, she went about preparing herself a bowl, fetching everything she needed from around my kitchen with ease. As she was ladling the soup a loud gagging noise came from my room, startling Dew Star and making her drop her bowl.
“O-oh, I’m sorry! I-I’ll clean this up!” she said as she quickly grabbed a towel. As she was busy, I slid away to my room where I found Beth panting with a bit of drool on her chin and sweat all over her face. Picking up a washcloth, I started to wipe the drool and sweat away when she suddenly sat up and puked on me.
“…Goddamnit,” I muttered as I looked down at my ruined shirt and pants.
“A-are you alright?” Dew Star called from outside, “Y-you don’t sound too good.”
“Yeah, like I said, my stomach’s bothering me,” I answered as I stripped the foul smelling clothes and grabbed a towel before stepping out of my room.
“W-w-where are your clothes?” she stuttered.
“They got a little dirty, but I’m going to take a quick bath.”
“A-alright.”
“And don’t go in there; it kind of got everywhere,” I said as I went into the bathroom. After a minute or two, I was soaking in the warm and sudsy water sighing and moaning to myself about how much work this had ended up being.
“D-do you want me to leave?” Dew Star interrupted.
“No, just give me a few minutes. Go ahead and eat if you want.”
“…I-I came to eat with y-you.”
“…”
“…C-c-can I come in?”
“…Why?”
“I-if you’re not feeling well, y-you shouldn’t be alone.”
“…Why not?” I sighed as I sunk lower into the water. I guess that’s what I get for lying. The door slowly creaked open and I watched Dew Star walk in and sit next to the tub, her eyes focused on her hooves.
“So, what have you been up to since I saw you last?”
“N-not much. A-are you alright?”
“Besides my stomach, I’m fine. I’m glad healing magic works just fine on me like every other kind, otherwise I’d still be hurting.”
“…Y-you never told me who did that to you.”
“Because I did it to myself.”
“…I-I don’t believe you,” she muttered.
“…As expected of a former Royal Guard; your attention to detail is pretty keen. Then again, I wasn’t trying that hard to hide it.”
“T-then why did you lie to me?”
“Because it doesn’t have anything to do with you. I don’t want you wasting your time thinking about it or me.”
“…I’ll spend my time how I want,” she muttered, making me raise a brow.
“Excuse me?” I asked with a smirk.
“N-nothing!”
“Did you just sass me?”
“I-I’m sorry! I-I didn’t mean it!” she said as she turned away defensively.
“I’m just fucking with you,” I said as I petted her head, “I keep telling you, you can say whatever you want to me; literally everyone else does.” She quickly relaxed from my touch as she leaned into it with a content sigh.
“Y-yeah, but… I-I don’t want to treat you like everypony else does.”
“Hmm… well, a good first step would be leaving so I can dry off.”
“O-of course.” After taking minute to dry, I headed back to my room where I opened a window to vent the disgusting smell.
“N-nice,” I heard Beth croak as I dropped my towel, “h-how often y-you use t-that?”
“Not very,” I answered as I got dressed, “need anything?”
“W-who’s t-that o-outside?”
“…Another customer coming over to say hi.”
“D-do all your c-customers d-do that?”
“…One or two,” I answered as I sat on the bed and wiped the sweat from her head, “you good?”
“C-could be b-better.”
“Let me entertain her for a little while and then I’ll go get you something to help with the pain.”
“T-take your t-time.”
“Hey, I forgot, but I actually have someone coming in in a little bit,” I told Dew Star as I rejoined her.
“O-oh. I-I thought you were on vacation.”
“Well you know what they say, no rest for the wicked.”
“…Y-you’re not wicked. I-if you were, you wouldn’t be helping ponies.”
“I know a few that would say what I’m doing isn’t helping anyone and is only causing more problems.”
“That’s not true!” she exclaimed, making me chuckle inwardly.
“Thanks, Dew Star. It’s nice to be reassured every so often.”
“N-no problem,” she replied with a bashful smile, “b-bye.” That day and the next went by just as quietly, save for the occasional puking and swearing from getting covered in said puke. It wasn’t until the forth day when Beth finally stopped puking and gave me a chance to clean my sheets, that a certain pony visited me.
“Hi, can I help you?” I greeted the black unicorn mare at my door.
“Hello, I believe a friend of mine is staying here,” she answered.
“Sorry, she’s bedridden right now. I don’t think she can see you.”
“That fine, I’ll just see her,” she said before trotting past me into my place, “where is she?”
“…Excuse me, but I don’t remember inviting you in.”
“If you know who I am, you’d know I don’t need an invitation.”
“Well around here, everyone needs an invitation. Even the princesses don’t get in without one… except that one time.”
“Princesses?” the mare repeated as she turned her attention to me, “You know the princesses?”
“All four of them, yeah. I definitely wouldn’t call us friends, but I’m sure they’d get a little upset if something happened to me or their citizens.”
“…Are you threatening me?” she asked aggressively as she tried to get up in my face, but came short by a foot or two.
“Of course not. It’s just a warning to anyone that might be listening.”
“…A wise guy, huh? I heard Princess Luna doesn’t take kindly to smart-asses.”
“She’s made an exception this one time,” I said before motioning to the door, “and I’ll make an exception this one time to not tell them about you if you leave quietly.” The anger in her eyes was obvious and if it wasn’t for my bluff, I’m sure I would have caught on fire right then, but she just stared me down as she slowly left. After closing the door, I let out a sigh of relief before returning to my laundry in the bathroom.
“T-thanks,” a voice croaked from behind me.
“I told you I’d take care of it.”
“I-I know, I-I j-just didn’t think y-you could h-handle it.”
“A little lying can go a long way.”
“Heh, d-don’t I k-know it. But s-seriously, thanks,” she said as I felt something touch my back.
“She’s probably going to show up again at some point, so don’t thank me until she’s gone for good.”
“T-then think of i-it as a-advance payment.”
“Heh, sure. Now back to bed; I’m come with some food in a minute.” By the next day she was up and walking again, even her usual stutter made way for what I guess they’d call a Manehatten accent.
“You look a lot better,” I commented as we ate breakfast.
“Sorry I can’t say the same for you,” she replied as she stuffed her face, “you look pretty tired.”
“I wonder why.”
“Well, don’t worry about it. I’ll be out of your hair for at least a little while.”
“Only a little while?”
“Yeah, I’ll probably relapse in a day or two.”
“I forgot about that being a possibility,” I sighed as I rubbed my face, “can you at least promise me you’ll try to fight it? I’ve kind of invested a lot of time into you and I’d hate to see my hard work go to waste.”
“…I’ll try.”
“That’s all I’m asking; that and maybe some kind of payment.”
“I thought my thanks was good enough?” she asked with a small smile and I just looked at her blankly, “…Of course it isn’t.”
“…Like I said before, don’t worry about it. If you-” I started but was stopped by a knock at my door, “one second.”
“Open up!”
“Alright, relax,” I said before opening the door, “what do you-” My words were cutoff by a sudden blow to my stomach, making me fall to my knees and receive another blow to the face, breaking my new nose.
“Arg, not again,” I moaned as I held my face, “what the hell?”
“Shut up,” a familiar voice commands as I’m kicked in the side, “if you knew who I was when we met the other day, you’d know this was coming.”
“M-mind informing me then?”
“The name’s Midnight Spice.”
“Of course it is,” I groaned as I sat up and looked at the black mare and her two guards.
“Now, you’re going to let me see Crystal Beth and not interfere with our conversation,” she said with her face in mine, the intimidation she was trying to convey not affecting me at all.
“N-no. We’re good.” The swift kick to my side from one of her guards told me that wasn’t the answer she wanted and the force of the blow was strong enough to send me sliding into the sitting room.
“I don’t like repeating myself,” the mare said as her magic sat me up against my filing cabinet.
“W-well, neither do I.” Once again that wasn’t the answer she wanted, so one of the guards bucked me in the chest, breaking a few ribs and making it hurt to breath. The force of the blow shook the cabinet behind me and made the unsuspecting rock on top fall into my lap.
“The longer you hold out, the more these two will have to hurt you.”
“T-that’s f-fine.”
“What?”
“P-pain is the l-last thing I’m worried about.”
“…I guess we’ll just have to make your life the first,” she said before turning away, “kill him.” I smirked slightly as one of the guards turned to buck me in the face, only to be shocked when her hooves were an inch from my face, making her collapse. Her stallion counterpart looked between her and me a few times before trying himself and ending up the exact same way.
“Decent help is hard to find these days,” Midnight Spice sighed as her magic levitated the rock away from me and examined it, “…Hmm, Princess Twilight Sparkle’s cutie mark is on this. I guess you weren’t lying about knowing the princesses.”
“O-of course n-not.”
“Guess I’ll have to kill you before they find out,” she said as her magic lifted me off the floor.
“S-stop!” Beth’s voice exclaimed as she jumped out of a closet, “Stop hurting him!”
“Oh, there you are Beth. I’ve been looking all over for you,” Midnight Spice said as her magic dropped me, “can’t have one of my top customers going clean, now can I?”
“No…” Beth replied as Midnight Spice’s magic opened the door.
“Great! Then let’s get you back to my place; I just made a fresh batch and-”
“S-stop,” I groaned as I grabbed Midnight Spice’s back hoof. She easily slipped out of my grasp and stomped on my hand, making me yell in pain for the first time.
“Ah, there’s the scream I was looking for. Too bad I can’t stay and hear more, but I-”
“What’s going on here?!” a voice exclaimed from the door, but I couldn’t see who as the pain started to make me lose consciousness, “…I-is that-”
I awoke a few hours later to the familiar sight of a white hospital ceiling, accompanied by a steady beeping and smell of sterilized equipment. I tried to sit up, but the pain in my chest made me lay back and let out a loud groan.
“I-I think he’s awake!” a familiar voice said from beyond the curtain around me. It quickly shifted and revealed Dew Star, who quickly moved to my side, and Crystal Beth who stood a few paces away.
“Thank Luna you’re alright,” Dew Star said sadly, “I thought-I thought-”
“I’m fine,” I interrupted as I petted her, “a little sore, but that’s nothing new.”
“G-good. I-I don’t know what I’d do if you were… if you left.”
“Get over it quickly, I hope.”
“I… I don’t think I could…”
“…Me neither,” Beth spoke up as she took a few steps closer, “I… Thank you.”
“Unless Midnight Spice was taken in, I don’t know what you’re thanking me for.”
“S-she was,” Dew Star stated.
“Really? How?”
“She called the Royal Guard right after she took care of Midnight,” Beth said as she nodded at Dew Star.
“Wait-what?” I questioned as I stared at Dew Star, “You took down Midnight Spice?”
“Y-yeah,” she answered as she looked down at her hooves, “s-she wasn’t that tough.”
“Wow… thanks Dew Star.”
“I-I didn’t do all that much,” she replied bashfully.
“Except save my life and by extension hers,” I said as I sat up with a smaller groan than before and pulled her in for a hug, “thank you for saving my worthless life.” I don’t know if it was whatever the doctors had me on, but I was feeling strangely thankful for what Dew Star did. We held the hug for a while until a nurse came in to check on me. Dew Star stood frozen next to my bed as the nurse did her job and when she was done, she slid the curtains back, revealing to me a disfigured pony in the bed next to me.
“Damn, what happened to her?”
“She did,” Beth answered as she once again nodded to Dew Star. I looked between what was supposed to be Midnight Spice and Dew Star a few times before letting out a hearty laugh that hurt.
“Thanks.”
Final Observations: I don’t know; it’s been too long. I’m writing this a few days after being in the hospital and I’m still on this weird pain potion, so I’ll make it short. Beth is still off Poison Joke and proved it to me in the days I spent in the hospital and she’s supposed to visit me every so often so I can check on her. Dew Star also visited me everyday and stayed a lot longer than needed, but it was nice having someone to talk to other than Midnight Spice who wouldn’t say anything even after she could speak again. Surprisingly, Princess Luna stopped by after Midnight was taken in and thanked me for helping her out again. She said she and her sister were going to do something to properly thank me sometime soon and I’m not looking forward to it. But… it might be alright.
Author's Note
Happy Labor Day my fellow Americans! And a happy lame, regular Monday to everyone else.
“Do I really have to go?” I asked as I straightened my tie.
“You’re already dressed, so it’s kinda too late to have second thoughts,” Beth answered from her spot on my bed.
“They’re not second thoughts.”
“What are they then?”
“First thoughts. I didn’t want to go in the first place.”
“Don’t worry about it; you’ll be fine. Me and Dew Star will be right there with you.”
“You’re not getting what I’m saying; it’s not about whether I can handle it or not, it’s just that it isn’t my thing.”
“That’s what she said.”
“…I really regret telling you that stupid joke.”
“I know you do, now come on. We gotta fetch Dew Star.” With a groan, I followed Beth out of my place and over to Dew Star’s door.
“Hey, you ready to go?” I asked after knocking.
“J-just a second,” was her reply.
“Make sure you compliment her,” Beth said as she nudged me.
“…Why?”
“Mares like to be complimented every so often. That and I’m a little mad you didn't say anything to me,” she said as she did a little spin to show off her dress.
“Oh, so you wanted me to point out how weird it is for ponies to wear clothes? I think that’s a conversation neither of us want to have.”
“What’s weird about it? You wear clothes all the time!”
“…I guess you do want to talk about this. Well first off-”
“S-sorry I took so long,” Dew Star’s voice said.
“Don’t worry about it. I’m sure the princesses… Huh.”
“W-what? D-do I look funny?” she asked as she looked herself over, “A-am I wearing too much make-up?”
“No, you look great. Right?” Beth said as she jabbed me in the knee.
“…Yeah, you look good. Cute even,” I conceded honestly. The dress she wore complimented her colors well and didn’t look weird on her like other ponies in clothes I’ve seen.
“C-c-cute?” she repeated with wide eyes as her blush threatened to cover her whole face.
“Yeah, now let’s go. I’m not looking forward to walking through the snow in these shoes.”
“You don’t know?” Beth said as she pulled Dew Star along.
“Know what?”
“The princesses sent a carriage.”
“How nice of them; I’ll be sure to thank them when we get there.” After walking down the stairs and out to the main street, we found our carriage waiting for us. Though it was a little small for me, it was better than nothing and made the usual thirty-minute walk to the castle only take ten. When we pulled up at the front doors draped with tinsel, Princess Twilight Sparkle was waiting for us.
“Hi!” she greeted as I stepped out of the carriage, “I’m so glad you came!”
“Yeah, well I-”
“He wouldn’t miss it for the world,” Beth interrupted.
“…Yeah, what she said.”
“Great! Well, come on in!” With that, the three of us followed the princess down the Christmas-y halls of the castle.
“What’s this holiday called again?”
“Hearth’s Warming Eve,” the princess answered.
“Ah. And what’s it celebrate?”
“The founding of Equestria!”
“Right, and you celebrate it by giving presents, hanging lights and tinsel, and singing songs? You didn’t decorate a pine tree, did you?”
“Of course!” the princess replied as she led us into a large ballroom where a giant decorated tree sat, “That’s one of the most important parts!”
“…Of course it is.”
“It’s good to see you came,” a motherly voice greeted.
“Indeed. How have you been?” another added.
“Good, thanks. And how are you two princesses doing this fine evening?” I greeted the sister princesses with a bow.
“Better now that I know you’ve come,” Celestia answered with her usual smile.
“The night has been pleasant so far,” Princess Luna replied.
“That’s good to hear, and if I may be so bold to say, you two look lovely.”
“Oh, well thank you,” Celestia giggled, making me raise a brow.
“Your compliment is appreciated, but unnecessary. I’m well aware of how good I look,” Princess Luna replied with a pleased smile and small blush.
“Well, I just wanted to make sure you did.”
“And how are you two doing?” Celestia asked Dew Star and Beth.
“G-good, Princess.”
“Yep, just fine.”
“We once again would like to thank you for all the help you two have given us,” Celestia said as the two of them bowed their heads.
“Don’t worry about it.”
“Y-yes, please.”
“And like usual, I don’t get anything,” I muttered.
“Was the monetary compensation not enough?” Princess Luna asked, “If you need anything, just ask.”
“I was joking, but since you’re offering I could-”
“He’s fine,” Beth cut off, “but if you’ll excuse us, we need a drink.”
“That’s fine idea. Come, I’ll show you to the bar,” Princess Luna said before leading my plus two away with a wing.
“…”
“…”
“…So. How goes things?”
“Good, good.”
“That’s good.”
“…I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“A few things. For example, making your time here in our world not as pleasant as it could have been. You’ve been involved in now two dangerous situations that more than likely could have been avoided had I paid more attention to you. You do a job that I now see has been sorely needed and watch over my citizens in a way that I can’t. You’ve-”
“Relax, Princess,” I interrupted, “I know I said a lot of things the last time we talked, but all of them were suggestions. Suggestions that I possibly could have said a little nicer, but strongly support nonetheless. I don’t know what it’s like to be the ruler of a nation and I can only imagine how much work you do day-to-day; all I ask is you keep the things I said in mind. Cause I kind of forgot some of the things I said.”
“…You forgot?”
“Yeah, I said some of that stuff in the moment,” I chuckled, “I’m sure you’ve experienced more than your fair share of stress.”
“That I have.”
“Alright, and I appreciate the genuine apology. I’ve been getting those a lot in the last few days.”
“From Crystal Beth?”
“Yeah, but that’s enough of that. So is this holiday really about the founding of this place?”
“Of course; what else would it be about?”
“I don’t know. I’m just occasionally surprised by the similarities between this world and mine.”
“Oh, do you have similar holiday in your world?”
“Yeah, and pretty much everything about this is the same,” I answered as I looked around the room, “the season, food, presents, decorated trees…family.”
“I’m sorry if this makes you a little sad. You must miss your family; I know I do,” she said with a melancholy smile.
“…No, it doesn’t. And no, I don’t,” I replied.
“…I sense you had some troubles with your family before you came here,” she observed after staring at me for a moment.
“…Let’s just say I didn’t have much of one, but in a way, I’m happy I came here. Got to start a new life in a new and interesting place with new and interesting creatures doing a job that I have a love-hate relationship with. I’d go as far to say my showing up here was a blessing in disguise, and of the three God-like beings I’m familiar with, one wouldn’t be so merciful as to let me escape that life.”
“…If you’d like, I wouldn’t mind being what you are to my ponies; an open ear,” the princess offered, making me smirk.
“That’s alright. I’m better off sticking to what I’m good at; listening, not telling.”
“…”
“Well, I think I’ve taken up enough of your time,” I said as I nodded to the group of ponies standing a few paces away, “don’t work too hard; this is supposed to be a holiday.” With that, I left the princess to her own devices as I wandered around the large room. As I did, I eventually stopped in front of the giant tree and looked at the colorful presents under them. My looking quickly turned into blank staring that made certain painful memories emerge from the back of my mind. I was so inside my own head, I failed to notice Pinkie Pie burst out of one of the boxes until she tapped me.
“…W-what? What’d you say?”
“I said, are you alright? You looked a little down,” she asked with a tilt of her head.
“I’m fine,” I said as I petted her, “just thinking about stuff.”
“Like how much you missed me?” she said as she clasped onto my leg.
“How’d you know?” I asked flatly.
“Cause I’m smart!”
“Of course. Know where the food is?”
“Over there!”
“Thanks,” I said as I walked in the direction of her hoof with her still attached to my leg.
“Hmm… Thunder Wing?”
“No.”
“How about… Onyx Star?”
“Cool, but no.”
“…Cobalt?”
“No.”
“…Chris Pine?”
“…How do you-”
“Hello, Darling.”
“Hey, Rarity. You’re looking as nice as usual,” I greeted as I looked over the tables of food.
“I could say the same of you. You really make that suit work.”
“Thanks I guess, but you made it.”
“That I did, and I must say I really outdid myself. I’ll have to come by sometime for more inspiration.”
“Whatever you want,” I said as I ate.
“…Golden Mustang?”
“No.”
“Pinkie, dear, what are you doing?”
“Guessing his name! …Ace?”
“No.”
“Ah, right…” Rarity muttered.
“I saw Twilight, but where are the other three?”
“I’m sure Fluttershy is entertaining herself with the local animals and Rainbow Dash is anywhere but here. Applejack is here, but she said she doesn’t want to speak with you.”
“Hmm, alright.”
“…You’re not curious as to why?”
“I mean, sure, but it’s not like she’s going to tell me if I ask, right?”
“…Christian Bale?”
“How… No.”
“Well, I might be so inclined to tell you if you give me a little information.”
“…What?” I conceded.
“That’s the spirit! It’s simple, but what is you relationship with that mare?” she asked as she pointed to a table a ways off with Beth and Dew Star sitting at it.
“Which one?”
“I’m sure you can guess.”
“Well, the answer's the same for both; she’s just one of my customers that I’ve gotten a little too involved with. One for obvious and recent reasons, and the other for… it’s complicated.”
“Are involved and complicated the words you want to use?” Rarity asked with a sly smirk.
“…Yeah?”
“Alrighty, thank you Dear. Now, as for Applejack, she simply doesn’t want to talk to you until she figures out your name.”
“How’s she going to do that if she doesn’t talk to me?”
“I said the same thing, but she’s a stubborn one.”
“…Brendledick Crumblesnatch?”
“…I see what you did there, but no. Well, I can’t really help her if she doesn’t want to help herself.”
“So you’re saying you would tell her?!”
“Well, tomorrow is a day for giving gifts, isn’t it?” I replied as I headed towards Beth and Dew Star after shaking Pinkie off of me, “But don’t think about it too much.”
“Hey,” I greeted as I sat down.
“Yo. Some of these nobles are actually alright,” Beth said as she pointed to a stallion waiting to speak with Celestia, “that stallion invited me over to his place to hang out.”
“…Go at your own risk.”
“Why’s that?”
“Considering how popular you’ve just become and how eager he is to talk to the princess, he might just use you to gain favor with the princesses and get a leg up in whatever he wants. I can’t say that for sure without talking to him, but that’s just the feeling I get.”
“Hmm… I stand corrected; none of these nobles are alright.”
“A-are you having fun?” Dew Star asked.
“Eh, that isn’t the word I’d use. I’d say, pleasantly distracted.”
“Jeez, would you lighten up?” Beth said, “This is supposed to be a happy holiday.”
“Sorry, I’ll stop being myself for a few hours just for you.”
“Thanks,” she replied, making me shake my head.
“So what’s the point of this party the night before the actual holiday?”
“Beats me.”
“I-I’m not sure.”
“It’s not just for doing whatever the princesses have planned for me, is it?”
“Self absorbed much?”
“I just don’t like surprises.”
“Well, you’re in for a big one!” Princess Twilight said as she appeared out of nowhere.
“Great… Can I at least get a hint as to what it might be?”
“Nope! That would ruin it!”
“Of course it would. Fair warning; I might not react the way you expect.”
“Oh, I’m sure you’ll love what we have planned!” the princess said before trotting off.
“That’s what I’m afraid of.”
“I-I’m sure it’ll be fine,” Dew Star reassured with a pat on my arm.
“I hope so.” The three of us conversed between ourselves and whoever came up to us for a while until everyone’s attention was directed to the three princesses in front of the giant tree.
“Hello, my little ponies,” Celestia started, “and thank you for coming to this year’s Hearth’s Warming Eve banquet.”
“While this is a yearly tradition, we have planned something a little different this time,” Princess Luna picked up, “as I’m sure most of you have heard, the recent capture of a local drug dealer has led to the trial and sentencing of a notorious criminal organization.”
“I haven’t heard this,” I whispered to Beth.
“Shh!”
“This was thanks to the brave efforts of three individuals who are among us. Please stand.” With a sigh, I stood up with the two and put on a fake smile as I waved and tolerated the massive amount of attention and applause before sitting back down.
“Thanks to these three, the streets of not just Canterlot, but the nation as a whole are safer,” Celestia continued, “but while these three have helped a great deal, there is one in particular that has willingly served this country for nothing in return.”
“That’s not true.”
“Shh!”
“Would you please join us?” With another sigh, I got up and walked through the throng of ponies over to the princesses.
“When this young stallion appeared in our world, he was without a home, help, friends or family.”
“We mistakenly didn’t help him in his time of need and continued to do so despite knowing he was suffering,” Princess Twilight picked up sadly, “and as the Princess of Friendship, I take this very seriously. While I’ve recently learned that friendship cannot be forced, the least we can do is give you a new name to fit your new home.” The crowd applauded lightly from the announcement as I clenched my fists.
“The name that we have chosen will not only signify your acceptance into your new home, but your acceptance into our family,” Celestia said, making my fist tighten, “from now on, you shall be known as Celestial Comet!” The crowd applauded again as I looked them over, specifically Beth and Dew Star who had sad smiles on their faces that helped me make the decision that was on my mind.
“Care to say anything?” Celestia asked as she put a wing on my shoulder.
“Sure,” I answered before taking a breath and putting on a smile, “thank you, you three. I’m humbled by your decision to let me be part of your family, but… I can’t accept.”
“And why is that?” Princess Luna asked.
“…The name I was given by my parents holds a lot of meaning that I can’t just throw away, no matter how bad my family was. It’s a burden I have to carry for as long as I live, and I can’t allow myself to forget all of the pain I’ve caused.”
“…Pain?” Celestia repeated as she looked at me with the most concerned eyes I’ve seen her show, “What pain?”
“…Heh, I’m sorry,” I chuckled, “I don’t know what I’m talking about. Those potions you had me on in the hospital must still have me feeling funny. I accept your gifts; thanks everyone.” The crowd of ponies looked between themselves with confusion for a moment before applauding and dispersing.
“What was that about?” Beth asked when her and Dew Star trotted up to us.
“Nothing, I kind of lost myself for a second. I’m not too great with crowds,” I lied, and I’m pretty sure Dew Star could tell, “and because of that, I’m going to go get some air.” Leaving my little group of mares behind, I headed towards the doors on one side of the room leading to a pavilion. Walking to the far end of it, I leaned against the railing looking over the distant landscape covered in snow. The view brought up memories from earlier, causing me to get stuck in my head again and fail to notice Dew Star show up next to me.
“H-hey.”
“Wha-oh. What’s up?”
“A-are you alright?”
“Yeah, just a little tired. So much stuff has happened in the last few days; I’d love it if I could get back to my usual routine.”
“…Y-you’re not fine, are you?”
“No, I’m alright.”
“…N-no you’re not.”
“Yes, I am.”
“No, you’re not.”
“…Alright, fine; I’m not okay! How could I be?!” I exclaimed as my emotions flared up, “The princesses thought it would be alright to change my name! My name! The name my shitty parents gave me! The name my mom cursed everyday without fail! The name my mom said she hated with her dying breath! It’s because of my name-no, me that my family went through so much pain! It’s because of me that my first actual friend left on a day just like this! It’s because I’m such a terrible person that I can’t have a real family or real friends; I don’t deserve it!”
“…”
“Is that what you wanted to hear?! You wanted to hear the real reason I distance myself from others; the reason I’m a dick when I meet people?! It’s because when you get involved with me, you’re in for more pain than you thought possible! But you know what?”
“…”
“All of this has helped me realize how much this world has actually changed me. Back in my world, I wouldn’t give people any chance to become anything more than an acquaintance. But here? Here I’m regularly talking to the same creatures, I’m helping crack ponies kick an addiction, hell I’m consulting with deities on how to run their own nations! I’m not a caring and loving person, I’m a piece of shit that only causes pain.”
“…You’re right.”
“…What?”
“You do cause pain, but it’s a pain you don’t understand. The crack pony you helped? She experienced pain, but she was willing to because you were there to help and motivate her to become a better pony. The princesses you consult? They feel pain because they know they can’t help or satisfy all of their subjects no matter how hard they try, but you do. And the creatures you speak to regularly? They feel pain in their hearts because you refuse to see how much you mean to them and how much good you’ve done for them.”
“…”
“The princesses gave you their names to help you get over the pain that only you understand. You don’t have to forget; I know it’s impossible to, but you can move on and all of us who are your friends will be with you the whole way.”
“…Damn you, Star,” I muttered as I tried to hold back my tears, “…You got me.” I didn’t last long; sinking to my knees, the first tears I’d shed in years were let loose onto the cold ground. My sobbing was quickly muffled by Dew Star’s neck as she pulled me into a hug and held me gently. We sat there for a good few minutes as I let out all of the emotions I’d held in for years onto Dew Star’s coat.
“Thanks,” I sniffed when I eventually stopped, “God, I’m such a baby.”
“I-it’s alright. A-at least I’m the only one who saw.”
“Yeah, I don’t think so. Right, Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy?” I said towards a tree a few paces away.
“H-how’d you know?” Rainbow asked as her head peaked out of the tree and Fluttershy emerged from the bush next to it.
“You didn’t hide your gasps very well,” I answered as I stood back up, “the same goes for the rest of you.” It took a moment, but Beth, the princesses, and the rest of the Elements emerged from various spots around the pavilion.
“Heh, sorry,” Beth said.
“I-I didn’t mean to listen!” Princess Twilight said nervously.
“Please excuse us,” Princess Luna apologized.
“I can’t say the same,” Celestia said.
“Sister, don’t be rude!”
“No, it’s alright. Now you all know what my problem is.”
“And I’m sorry you had to deal with so much, Darling,” Rarity said as she trotted up and gave me a comforting nuzzle.
“Yeah, sorry I gave you such a hard time, Dude.”
“I should apologize as well for our earlier interactions.”
“Nobody has to apologize for anything,” I stated firmly, “none of you did anything wrong. I’m a dick and everything that’s happened would have happened anyway.”
“…I suppose, but you won’t be taking the name, will you?” Celestia asked sadly.
“…I guess you all do need something to call me,” I replied, making the princess’s face light up, “and when I’m ready, I might tell you my real-er, original name. Until then, let’s get back inside. I’m sure the rest of the guests are wondering where you all are.” With that, the group started to file back into the ballroom, save for Dew Star, Beth and me.
“So now that you’re a changed stallion, are you gonna compliment me on my dress now?”
“I haven’t changed yet. I can still feel the dick in me,” I answered, causing Beth to snort as she tried to hold back her laughing, “…Oh, poor choice of words.”
“Ain’t that right?” she giggled as she headed inside, leaving me and Dew Star.
“…I want to say thanks again because I don’t think you understand how much this means to me.”
“A-as a matter of fact, I do. I understand completely,” she replied as she flashed me a smile.
“Well, thanks anyway,” I said as I gave her a firm hug, “and I’ll be counting on you from now on.”
“It’s the least I can do.” That tender moment lasted for a while until Beth yelled at us from the door that the dancing was going to start.
“Let’s go. I just might feel like dancing.” I didn’t.
Author's Note
Well, there you have it! The next and final chapter of this semi-dark tale. Our protagonist is on the road to becoming a somewhat decent person and is involved with the princesses even more than he thought possible, leaving his future completely unknown. There are still a few loose ends that need tying up, but they might be answered in the possible sequel that I'll maybe make someday. Don't hold your breath; below-average genius takes time.
Name: Ruby Breeze
Sex: Female
Age: 12
Occupation: Student
Appearance: Sky blue coat, shoulder-length ruby-red mane, matching blue eyes, curved horn, typical filly build but slightly overweight
Session Number: 1
“Uh… Hello?” I greeted the little pony standing at my door.
“H-hi,” she replied bashfully, “I-I’m here for a three o’clock appointment.”
“…Of course. Come on in,” I said as I stood to the side and let her in.
“W-what’s wrong?” she asked as she looked up at my confused face.
“Nothing. You just weren’t what I was expecting, but don’t worry about it. Come have a seat.” Motioning to the chaise longue, she followed me into the sitting room and struggled to get onto the chair that was a few times her size. Giving her a little push from behind, I helped her up before grabbing my supplies and sitting in my own seat.
“Thank you,” she said as she got comfortable.
“No problem. So, what’s been bothering you?”
“…I-uh…” she mumbled as she played with her hooves.
“Take your time,” I comforted as I started drawing a picture of her, “if it’ll help, why don’t you tell me a little bit about yourself?”
“O-okay… My name’s Ruby Breeze, I’m twelve, and I go to Princess Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns.”
“Of course you do,” I mumbled to myself.
“What?”
“I said: that’s the school Princess Twilight Sparkle went to, right?”
“Y-yeah. She’s kinda my idol and I want to be like her when I grow up.”
“That’s a pretty big goal.”
“Yeah, but I’m at the top of my class like she was and my parents know Princess Celestia personally!”
“You’re halfway there then,” I commented as I drew a little crown on her picture.
“Yeah, but… I kinda have this problem,” she started meekly.
“Oh?”
“I… I like to eat.”
“Me too.”
“No, I mean… I like to eat, a lot.”
“You’re a growing filly.”
“Yeah, but… Mommy and Daddy said piggies don’t get to be princesses.” My hand froze for a second before I grabbed another piece of parchment and started another drawing.
“They said only normal sized fillies can be princesses, and they can’t be wrong, right?”
“…”
“I mean, all of the princesses are beautiful and not fat, so they have to be right. But…”
“But?”
“…At dinner, I don’t ask for seconds and I don’t eat dessert, but when they go to bed I take a few cookies from the cookie jar… and at school, they always give out sweets to the ponies that do the best on tests and stuff…”
“…So?”
“So… I guess I feel a little guilty…”
“And?”
“And… a little mad at my parents.”
“For?”
“…For calling me fat…”
“Do you think you’re fat?”
“…Maybe?” she answered as she looked down at herself, “I mean, I am I little bigger than my friends as school, but they don’t say anything about it… If they’re my friends, wouldn’t they say something?”
“…”
“The one time Princess Twilight came to our school, she said whenever you’re in doubt or need a helping hoof, your friends will always be there, and-” She stopped talking when I couldn’t hold my laughs back.
“Heh, I’m sorry,” I said as I wiped a tear from my eye, “keep going.”
“Do you not have friends?” she asked, making me freeze and slowly look up at her.
“No,” I answered as my smile quickly faded and I went back to drawing, “I don’t.”
“You should get some,” she advised, “friends are great! You get to hang out and play with them whenever you want! After you finish your homework of course, but they have the same hobbies as you and like the same kind of stallions you do so you can talk about which colts are the cutest!”
“Yeah, sounds great,” I said unenthusiastically, “so, do you actually want to do something about your weight problem?”
“It-it is a problem?” she asked as she looked at me worriedly.
“Only if you think it is.”
“…Maybe.”
“Alright, well I have the address of a personal trainer that comes by occasionally. I’m sure she’d be willing to help you out,” I said as I wrote down said address and handed it to her, “whether or not you go see her is obviously up to you, but do you want to know what I think?”
“Sorry, but no. I think I have to deal with this myself, but thank you for listening.”
“Of course,” I said flatly as she floated her money to me with her magic, “anything else?”
“Am I supposed to come back?” she asked as she hopped down to the floor.
“Only if you want to.”
“I might not come back then,” she said as I opened to door, “thanks again!”
Observations: While I wouldn’t call her relationship with her parents abusive, it definitely isn’t healthy. Who calls their kid fat? It seems that even the upper class has their fair share of problems, no matter how small they may be. And it seems that Twilight has succeeded in brainwashing these kids with her “friendship is magic” crap… I can’t believe a kid just pitied me.
Author's Note
Once again, if you're dealing with body-shaming or self-loathing, I'm sorry. I'm still working on that myself, but going to the gym does wonders for your self-esteem. Anyway, I'm kinda mad I can't draw but if anyone can, I'm interested to see what you think the drawings look like. Like usual, if you've got any ideas for a chapter, hit me up.
So while this isn’t a scheduled session, it was a waste of my time and brain space, so I’ll write it down. I awoke on a Saturday morning to the sound of knocking at my door. Slowly dragging myself out of bed, I yawned my way over to it where the knocking hadn’t stopped and only got louder.
“Who the hell is it?” I asked as I opened the door.
“*Gasp* It is you!” a familiar voice exclaimed before I was knocked down to the floor.
“Goddamnit,” I groaned as I cradled the back of my head, “what the-oh. It’s you.”
“I’m so glad I finally found you!” Princess Twilight Sparkle exclaimed as she nuzzled my chest, “I was so worried when you suddenly disappeared!”
“I’m sure,” I said as I grabbed her by the scruff and pulled her off of me, “and it only took you two months to find out I moved a few miles away.”
“If you left a note or something, I would have come sooner,” she said as I stood up and dusted myself off.
“Well, maybe there was a reason I didn’t,” I said as I headed back to bed, “now, it’d be real friendly of you to leave so I can go back to sleep.”
“Sleep? It’s after ten.”
“Yeah, well some humans need a minimum of ten hours of sleep on Saturdays,” I replied as I got back in bed.
“Really?” she mumbled as I heard the familiar sound of a scribbling quill and tingle of magic. As I lay there trying to go back to sleep I could feel my bed shift, making me crack an eye open and see the princess sitting at the foot of my bed starring at me with her big eyes.
“…What are you doing?”
“Observing.” With a heavy sigh, I got out of bed, grabbed the princess, and carried her to the door.
“Where are we going?” she asked as I opened the door, “You’re not wearing all of your clothes like usual.”
“I’m going back to bed,” I answered a I set her down outside, “you’re going home.”
“I don’t want to go home!”
“Then go to the castle or your parent’s house, I don’t care! You’re not staying here and watching me sleep!”
“…W-what if I pay you?” she offered as she pulled out a big bag of bits. The giant bag of money was extremely temping, but seeing as it was the weekend and my weeks are always rough, I declined.
“Come back during the week,” I sighed, “I might be in the mood to deal with you then.”
“How does Friday sound?” she asked with a huge smile.
“…Fine, but-”
“All of Friday, I mean.”
“…I guess that’s fine.”
“Yay!” she exclaimed as she nuzzled my bare stomach before turning and leaving, “See you then!”
“…I’m not looking forward to it…”
