Chapters My Little Pony: Breaking Bad
Ch. 1 Dimension jumpers
This is my first story and I will continue it if you happen to like it. Also, if you don't like it be sure to leave constructive criticism to help me improve as an author. Thank you and enjoy.
We meet our heros in the desert cooking some of the "stuff" in the RV when all of a sudden.
"Jesse. Back when I asked you to put the keys in a safe place, where did you put them?" "I left them right here. In the, um... the ignition." "Son of a bitch!" "Whoa whoa. No, this is not my fault, alright? The buzzer didn't buzz." "The WHAT?" "The buzzer! The buzzer that buzzes when you put the keys in. To like let you know that the battery's on. I know that! It didn't buzz. Look, I didn't turn the key or anything, alright? I'm not stupid. Did you hear the buzzer buzz? I did not... It's faulty, it's a faulty mechanism." "Is this just a genetic thing with you? Is it congenital? Did your, did your mother drop you on your head when you were a baby?" "THE BUZZER DID NOT BUZZ and you were the one that made me move the keys in the first place, REMEMBER?" "Yes, I see your point. Your imbecility being what it is, I should have known to say JESSE, DON'T LEAVE THE KEYS IN THE IGNITION THE ENTIRE TWO DAYS!!!" "I wanted to leave them on the counter. BITCH. Oh, I'm sorry, oh, the "work station". Jesus." "Okay, just... Alright so, we need to jump the battery somehow." "Okay. How?"
Now that we are caught up to speed we will fast forward a little bit to the good stuff.
Jesse was sweating, tired, and looked like he was going to pass out.
"Mr. White, how much longer until the battery is charged?"
Walter looked at Jesse. He was just as tired as he was.
"It will be for a while just a few more hours keep cranking."
Jesse moaned.
"God I wish we could get out of this sun."
he said to himself as he stared at the desert surroundings in front of him.
Jesse went back to cranking, things weren't looking to good for them when suddenly, something strange started to happen. The battery started cranking on its own. Jesse quickly took his hand off it as it started cranking faster and faster.
Jesse stared at it with his mouth agape. Then, Walter spoke up from his nap.
"Jesse stop cranking it so fast you are going to tire yourself out an-"
He stopped talking as soon as he opened his eyes and stared at the site his partner was seeing. With both their jaws dropped they watched as the battery went faster and faster, soon it was going so fast the crank appeared to be invisible. Then suddenly, an explosion of sound rang out and they disappeared replaced by a ring of rainbow shooting out in all directions.
There was a loud ringing in Walter's ears, his eyes were shut tight and he could barely breathe.
"Mr. White?"
Walter could barely make out the words and felt his body being shaken.
"Yo Mr. White wake up man for real I need your help!"
Walter was starting to come to.
He opened his eyes barely enough but everything was still blurry, God what happened? He thought as the ringing started to subside.
"AY YO BITCH I SAID WAKE UP!"
Walter opened his eyes wide everything coming into view.
Everything looked different, animated like a children's cartoon show. There was a... A pony standing before him.
The pony had pale white skin and was wearing a yellow jacket with a gray-yellow striped beanie, he could make out a dirty blonde mane poking through the beanie. It had intense blue eyes with bags under them, probably due to stress.
It was glaring right at him.
"STAY BACK! GET AWAY! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!?"
Walter panicked backing away from the Colt.
"Mr. White it's me Jesse!"
Walter continued to stare with his jaw agape he could barely speak.
"B-B-But your a pony.. How did this happen.. Why are you talking.. WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!?"
Walter repeated in panic.
"Chill bitch, I'm not the only one. You should take a look in the mirror."
Walter looked at him in confusion.
"Ok look Mr. White, there's a pond over there go ahead and take a look for yourself."
Walter nervously acknowledged the colt that had claimed to be his partner and started to.. Clop towards the pond?
He reached the pond and looked at his reflection.
He had no mane at all just a red mustache and tail to match. He retained his glasses along with his brown coat.
"At least I'm somewhat human."
Additionally he had brown skin, along with a brown horn on his head.
"Mr. White we got to come up with a plan to get out of here, I hate this show."
Walter turned from his reflection and looked to his partner angrily.
"What are you talking about and how are you so calm about this!"
"Look Mr. White, my little brother watches this stupid show called My little pony. I just watch it with him to get on my parents good side for the short visit I have with them so I recognize all the bright animation and I'm guessing we
Walter just continued to look at him with confusion.
"So wait.. We just happened to.. Like you said "Jump dimensions" and end up in a show for little girls.. HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN!"
Walter exclaimed angrily.
"Look I don't know that's just how it looks like to me.. I mean shit all I remember was cranking the RV battery than it got mad possessed and started cranking itself.. Than boom here we are."
Jesse finished the sentence raising his hoofs in the air and falling onto the grass.
"You have a plan Mr. White? Cuz we got to get out of here before something crazy happens, like some rainbow explodes on us or a queer looking mythical beast attacks us."
Walter thought for a moment.
"I'm still trying to wrap my mind around the fact that we are trapped in an old 80's cartoon."
"Actually.. This is the more modern and newest generation of the cartoon."
Walter arched an eyebrow at Jesse.
"Look yo my gay brother has to fill my head with all this stupid trivia about the damn show ok! I aint no brony!"
Walter ignored the brony comment not caring to learn about Jesse's weird lingo.
"Hmm.. That does explain the animation detail and technicolors.."
Walter chuckled looking at the landscape around him.
"Ahh you kids and your technology.. I wish I had TV shows half as good looking as this.. hell when I was your age-"
Jesse interrupted getting up quickly from the grass he was laying on.
"Yo Mr. White we got some problems man."
Walter looked at him seeing the concern in his partner's eyes.
"What are you talking about Jesse?"
He said in an irritated tone slightly annoyed at being interrupted.
Jesse pointed to something moving in the distance. It was an orange blur and coming closer towards them.
"It must be one of the characters of the show. We could probably use her help Jesse, it would beat trying to get back home on our own."
Jesse than remarked sarcastically.
"Yeah, well how do we explain this."
He motioned his head towards the object behind Walter.
As Walter turned. Peeved at how ridiculous Jesse was acting. He suddenly looked in terror at the object before them.
His mouth dropped, as he saw the RV that had followed them here.
My Little Pony: Breaking Bad
Ch. 2 The Apple Family
"Oh yeah, I agree with you Mr. White lets just explain our situation to that pony walking up the road towards us. You know what lets be sure to emphasize the part about our RV containing a fucking METH LAB! Fucking brilliant Mr. White."
Walter glared at Jesse with anger.
"Start the RV smartass, I'll distract her while you find a spot to hide it."
"Yeah so many hiding spots Mr.White, lets see you want it behind that apple tree? Or maybe that apple tree? Or how about-"
"JUST DO IT JESSE!!!"
Jesse immediately flung the door open to the RV and got into the driver's seat. He frantically searched his jacket for the keys but stopped suddenly.
"Wait a minute.. How can I pick things up with these?"
Jesse stared at his hoof appendages for a couple of moments. Worry about the current situation started to sink in along with frustration with the realization that he could no longer grab and hold things like he used to.
"JESSE HURRY THERE'S NOT A LOT OF TIME! SHES COMING CLOSER! I'D SAY WE HAVE 15 MINUTES!!"
Jesse put the thought out of his mind and decided to give it a shot. He gets the keys from his jacket and holds them in his hoof.. With absolutely no problem.
"Hmm.. Ok whatever."
He puts the keys in the ignition and tries to start the RV.
*Whir Whir Whir Whir Whir Whir*
*Whir Whir Whir Whir Whir Whir*
"MR. WHITE THE RV BATTERY IS STILL DEAD!"
"WHAT!! YOU MEAN AFTER ALL THAT CRANKING ITSELF IT DIDN'T EVEN-.. Wait a minute.. Where is the battery?"
Walter looked around for the battery but to no avail.. The battery was no where to be found and there was no hope of hiding their technicolored RV.
"Mr. White what do we do?"
"Get the hell out here Jesse!"
Walter demanded stressed out with adrenaline. Jesse immediately came out of the RV and shut the door behind him. Then, Walter eyed him.
"Listen.. We are going to play this cool and calm OK? We will try to avoid suspicion and under any circumstances we DO NOT let her anywhere near inside the RV.. You got that Jesse?"
"Whatever man." Jesse replied apathetically, he hated being talked down to like a kid especially by Walter.
The orange pony came closer and the two looked on with tension.
"Fingers crossed."
Walter whispered to Jesse.
"We're screwed."
Jesse replied bluntly out loud.
The orange pony had a cowboy hat, blonde hair, and freckles along with an apples tattoo on her flank. She approached the two cautiously and gave them a mean look.
"Yeah Yall are screwed all right just what do you think yall are doin on private Apple Acres Property? And what is this contraption here? Are you friends with the Flim Flam Brothers?"
Walter was confused about how to answer the last question but attempted to answer the other two.
"I'm terribly sorry, My name is Heisenberg and this is my associate umm-.."
"Jesse Jackson"
Walter gave him a look that said "really" but quickly looked back towards The Orange Pony
"We're just traveling businessmen and we seemed to have taken a wrong turn and ended up on your property here. But, as we were about to turn around and head back the way we came our RV broke down and now we have no way of moving it. Is it ok if we can borrow a spare battery that your not using?"
The Orange pony just looked at them her expression unchanged.
"Just what in tar-nation is an RV and a Battery? You folks are mighty suspicious. I'm thinking about letting the authorities know about this but first I want to know what's in that thing you call an RV to make sure yall aren't trying to steal our famous apples."
Walter and Jesse both looked at each other with dread. Walter's heart beat started to speed up. NO WE CANNOT LET HER IN THERE SHE CANNOT FIND OUT ABOUT THE METH! The Orange Pony was approaching the door when suddenly Walter flung his body across it and kept it covered.
"Just what do you think your doing?" The Orange Pony replied with an arched eyebrow, suspicion rising.
"Look, inside is a bunch of private work my partner and I have been doing inside there if you go in our business will be ruined!"
"Yeah" Jesse joined in "We know we're trespassing but that work is like.. Top secret.. Like we will be fired if anybody were to find out."
"I've had about enough of this. Two weird looking strangers: A bald one, and one who wears a jacket in the middle of the summer like a junkie, a strange contraption I've never seen before on my land, and finally who says anybody when the folks around here say anypony. That about clears it up for me gentlemen you two are definitely bad news and the authorities will know about this."
Walter's heart started to beat faster now he could hear the rhythmic pulses in his ears. The orange pony turned around to run away and get the police when Jesse galloped and stopped in front of her.
"LOOK BITCH WE ARE ON PRIVATE BUSINESS AND IM SORRY BUT THE AUTHORITIES CANNOT BE INVOLVED AT THE MOMENT!!!"
The orange pony looked at him infuriated. Rage started to build inside of her and she kicked dirt up from her hind leg while making snorting noises.
"WHAT DID YOU CALL ME!?!"
The orange pony quickly spun around and started bucking at him with a force so strong you could hear the wind whistle as she kicked at it. Jesse dodged buck after buck but they were unrelenting and one nicked him a little on the ear, even though it was a little it hurt like hell. Damn this Bitch Jesse thought still dodging the flurries.
Walter still spread out over the RV door tried to stop the the fighting.
"STOP PLEASE HE DIDN'T MEAN IT HE DIDN- *Cough Cough* HE DIDN'T ME- *Cough Wheeze Cough*
The orange pony stopped mid-buck right when she was just about to land on Jesse's face and saw Walter's hoof covered in blood.
"Uh-oh he looks like he needs help! I'll get my family for him I'll be right back I promise!"
Walter's vision started to fade and blur out while she was talking and barely made out her galloping down the road and Jesse galloping towards him.
"MR. WHITE! ARE YOU OK.. Mr. white.. Mr."
Walter blacked out and fell into a sleep.
"Hmmm... Urrgghh *Groan* what?.. What happened?"
Walter woke up and found himself inside a bedroom. The bed he was sleeping in had box pattern decorations of apples and apple trees. He looked around the room and saw it was a little small. Walls were painted orange with apple tree decorations and it contained a dresser and a closet.
Probably a guest bedroom Walter thought to himself.
He heard someone coming up the stairs and saw the door to the room open. It was the same Orange pony from before and she was carrying an ice pack in her mouth. Her eyes looked sad and she looked down on the floor after putting the ice pack on his head.
"I apologize mister I didn't know yall was sick if you'd say so in the first place I would have immediately brought you to my family's farm for help."
"No No.. It's fine really I was just stressed out from all the excitement that's all."
Walter chuckled a little but then started wheezing. *Cough Cough Cough Cough*
The Orange pony immediately facehoofed
"Aww how could I forget you needed a drink be right back."
She hurriedly went out of the room and Walter heard her rush down the stairs. After about 5 minutes, he heard the rushing steps head back up the stairs and saw his door open. She brought in a platter containing on its surface a jug of ice water and a cup already poured. Walter grabbed the cup with both hooves and gulped down about half the cup. He gasped a little after drinking and put the cup back on the platter.
"Let's start over." The Orange pony said. "My name is Applejack and I don't know what your real name is but I'm going to change that other name you gave me to something that makes sense around these parts. So lets say umm... Heisencolt what do you think?"
Walt stared and started to stammer
"How-How did you-."
"Sir." Applejack interrupted "With all due respect, I'm the element of honesty and can smell a liar from a mile away. I could tell from the way you looked at your partner when he announced his ridiculous name that y'all were feeding me a bunch of horsefeathers. But, I can tell you are a good natured pony and don't mean anypony no harm."
Applejack reassured what she said with a warm smile.
"I appreciate that really thank you."
"It's no problem sir. Anything you need and I will be at your service."
Applejack gave a slight bow when she said this.
"Actually if you don't mind me asking where is my partner Jesse?"
"Oh... Him." Applejack said this rolling her eyes with a slight tone of irritation in her voice.
"He's in the barn with the rest of the animals that don't know any manners."
Walter chuckled a little at the thought of Jesse being pecked at by chickens or having to deal with the smell in general. But then, another thought came to mind.
"Umm.. About the RV.. Listen I know it's alot to ask but can I leave it here for now until I find a way to move it? And I understand of course that it's on your property but that RV is very important. It could be our only way out of this worl- this town I mean. The most I'm asking is a couple of days at least.. Please?"
Applejack thought for a moment for what seemed like an eternity to Walter. She then let out a sigh.
"OK mister I'll promise not to mess with it. Its not like its in the way of the apple trees or anything as long as its sitting on that field but I have to ask.. Whats really inside that RV?"
Oh no he thought. His heartbeat picking up again, he tried searching for an excuse anything he could think of would work. But no he thought, she has some sort of special power where she can tell your lying or not. A real living lie detector... AGHHH!!! WHAT DO I DO? WHAT DO I SAY?
He suddenly heard more movement outside the door then, the door opened to reveal A big Red Pony, a small yellow pony with a pink bow, and an elderly green pony with gray hair. Thank god a distraction Walter thought to himself. The yellow pony looked concerned.
"Is he ok? Is he ok? Is he ok?"
She asked jumping up and down frantically.
Applejack reassured her sister "Yes he's fine don't worry. He look good to you Big Mac?"
"E yep." Replied the big Red Pony that was apparently know as Big Mac.
"He definitely looks good to me." The green pony winked at Walter. He smiled nervously and shuddered.
"Heisencolt this is The Apple Family: My Grandma Granny Smith, My little sister Applebloom, and My older Brother Big Macintosh but everybody calls him Big Mac. Everyone this is Heisencolt."
"It's very nice to meet you all." Walter said with a smile.
"It's nice to meet you too handsome."
Replied Granny Smith. Walter unsure how to react just kept smiling.
"It's good to see that your doin better Mr. Heisencolt sir."
The little Applebloom replied with a gentle smile.
"Thank you sweetheart that means alot."
Applebloom's innocence reminded Walter of his own daughter. His wife was still pregnant and she hasn't given birth to their daughter yet but just by talking to Applebloom he knew he wanted his daughter to be just like her.
"Well everypony I think we bothered this poor colt enough lets give him space and ill meet all of you down for supper after I take care of our guest."
The three ponies started shuffling out the door
"Get well soon Mr. Hiesencolt sir."
"Eyup."
Granny Smith was the last to leave but before she did she winked at him
"See you later sexy."
Walter was starting to get seriously scared of Granny Smith.
Applejack reassured him. "Don't worry shes just yanking your reins. She does that to alot of the older ponies around these parts, she was also a big flirt back in the day too." She said rolling her eyes a little.
They both laughed. Walter enjoyed the laughter it took his mind off his problems and he probably would have stayed if he hadn't remembered Jesse was still in the barn. Unfortunately he had a time limit and he had work to do.
"Listen I appreciate everything you and your family have done for me but I have to take care of some urgent business so I have to be going now."
Walter tried getting out of bed but Applejack stopped him.
"Sir you can't be thinking about leaving after an incident like that. Yall need to stay at least for a couple more days."
"Listen." Walter tried to explain. "I don't have alot of time left. I need to find a way back home to my family and make sure that they get the life they deserve when I finally leave them for good."
"What do you mean leave them for good?" Applejack asked
Walter paused for a moment thinking.. Should I tell her? Can I trust her?
"I.. I.. I have..-"
He was cut off by the sound of yelling coming from the outside.
"YO MR. WHITE COME ON WE HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF OUR "BUSINESS TRIP" SO WE CAN GET PAID!"
"HE NEEDS HIS REST AND WHAT HE DOESN'T NEED IS SOME JUNKIE PONY! SO GO BACK TO THE BARN WHERE YOU BELONG!!!"
"I AINT GOING BACK TO ANY BARN SO HOWS ABOUT YOU GO BACK TO THE KITCHEN WHERE YOU BELONG BIT-!"
Walter shouted getting up from the bed. He went to the window and shut it closed. "But.." Applejack tried to say but Walter smiled
"Thank you for what you've done for me. Really, I appreciate it."
He then, went down the stairs and hurriedly said his farewells to the Apple Family in the living room and rushed out the door. Applebloom tried to gallop after him
"But mister Heisencolt don't you need more re-."
"Applebloom" Granny Smith called in a gentle voice. "Now when ponies get to be as old as I am or Heisencolt they can decide when they are sick or not sick. You have nothing to worry about he will be fine."
Walter met Jesse outside and looked at him with anger gritting his teeth.
"Just what the hell are you trying to start again?"
"Just trying to get you out of that nut house so we can get to business."
Jesse glared back at Walter
"I just think the fact that these people know about our RV is enough information right Mr. White? Or did you just feel like telling them your life story?"
Walter kept looking at Jesse with contempt but than looked away and began to think.
"Hmm.. Well I guess our next plan of action is to find a way out of here.. Applejack said she wouldn't bother the RV since it wasn't in the way so we are clear on that.."
"Wait.. Applewho? Oh you mean the Bitch pony."
Walter thought about hitting Jesse accross the face with his hoove for insulting Applejack but let it slide this time.
"Jesse didn't you watch this show with your younger brother?"
"Yeah well.. I'm high most of the time I watch it."
Walter heard a the door of the Apple house open in the distance. Applebloom was waving from the doorway of the house
"Bye Heisencolt."
"Bye Applebloom."
Walter waved back
"Bye Jesse Jackass."
Jesse glared at Applebloom
"Wait a minute. Applejack he doesn't look like a donkey."
Walter burst out in laughter while Jesse looked at the Apple house angrily. Yep, Walter thought to himself. I want our daughter to be just like her.
==============================================================================
Applejack thought to herself
"I know I said I would leave the RV alone.. Well actually I said I wouldn't remove it off the property.. Err I'm just so curious I have to know whats in there."
Applejack opens the door to the RV.. The whole place smells and there is this crystal looking stuff in bags on a workbench. She suddenly hears a noise.
*vibrate* *vibrate*
*vibrate* *vibrate*
"You've reached Walter White I can't come to the phone right now but please leave a message."
"Walter it's Skyler I haven't heard from you since you went to visit your mom but just to let you know I called your mom and she said she didn't know you were even coming. What do you do when you go off on your little walks? In fact don't even bother calling back Goodbye.
*Beep*
My Little Pony: Breaking Bad
Warning: I'm not avoiding spoilers to Breaking Bad anymore it's recommended you watch at least season 2 before reading. Anyway enjoy the story :)
Ch. 3 Another mess
"He's passed out but he's still breathing."
Applejack nodded at Jesse
"Well that's good news at least. Hey Big Mac, carry Heisencolt on your back and be gentle with him. We'll take it nice and slow from here."
Jesse spoke against Applejack.
"We should get to your farm as fast as possible the more time we waste the more of a chance he might die!"
Applejack gave Jesse a serious look.
"If we rush him to the farm he will die! The trauma of being bumped around so much on Big Mac's back might accidentally kill him."
Jesse understood and didn't reply back.
They slowly clopped back to the farm for what seemed like ages to Jesse.
I just hope they cure Mr. White, god knows I can't do this alone. Jesse thought to himself. When they finally reached the farm Applejack told Big Mac to put Heisencolt in the guest bedroom. Big Mac nodded and took him inside the house. Applejack however, led Jesse to the barn.
"Whoa hang on a moment can't I come into the house to be with my partner?"
Applejack didn't reply. Instead, she opened the barn doors wide open. Then, she walked towards Jesse. Jesse just looked at her confused and arched an eyebrow. She turned in front of him and walked an 180 degree angle in a wide arc around him. Jesse didn't know what was going on or what was about to happen. Then, Applejack suddenly charged at him.
"AAGHHHHH!!!"
Jesse flinched and couldn't move from the sudden screaming, oncoming pony. Applejack twisted her body around and bucked him hard. Jesse felt the wind kicked out of him and maybe a little more as he was sent flying into the barn. He hit the back wall Hard.. His head was pounding and felt like it was going to split from the pain.
"Agghh.. What the fuck was that for bitch?"
Applejack looked at him with contempt in her eyes from outside the barn
"Maybe when you decide to learn manners like a pony being you can come into the house and not be in a barn like the animal you are!"
When she finished that sentence she slammed the barn door. Jesse heard a latch click on the outside of the door. When Jesse heard the noise he started galloping quickly towards the door.
"No, no, no, please say she didn't."
But unfortunately she did. She had locked the barn door and Jesse was stuck.
"LET ME OUT OF HERE YOU REDNECK INBRED BITCH! DO YOU HEAR ME BITCH! BITCH! BITCH! BITCH! BIIIIITCH!!!!"
Jesse slammed on the door to the rhythmic pattern of his curses and slammed really hard on the last word. But unfortunately there was no way out for Jesse. Jesse decided it was time to use his brain for this one.
"Dammit this kind of thing is for Mr. White I'm not good at puzzle solving.. Man I could really go for a bowl right now."
Jesse pushed his addict thoughts to the side and looked around the barn. There was lots of hay, along with different pens containing chickens and pigs. He looked towards the ceiling and found a window leading to the outside but unfortunately he couldn't reach it and there wasn't a ladder in sight.
Hmm. Jesse thought. Why do ponies need chickens and pigs anyway? Aren't they supposed to eat grass? I guess pets maybe? Hmmmm..
Jesse decided to let the thought go he had enough trouble figuring out which came first the chicken or the egg.
Jesse didn't like being cornered or captured not one bit. He started looking for weapons.
"Yeah that bitch'll get what she deserves lets see what we got.."
Jesse went to the back of the barn and found another door. It was locked but when Jesse hit the back of the barn he splintered the wood just enough to be easily breakable.He bucked the door down with ease and as if fortune were smiling on Jesse he found what he was looking for. In fact, he found A LOT of what he was looking for.
"Yes aww man so many choices.." Jesse said feeling as if he was at the candy store.
Behind the door was a workbench containing caddleprods, power drills, pitch forks, hay hooks, shovels, a grim reaper sized scythe, screwdrivers, hunting knives, a gardening hoe, and oh god.
"CHAAIIIINNNNSAAAAWWWW!!!!"
Jesse yelled with triumph grabbing the chainsaw off the shelf. Because in Jesse's mind the chainsaw was the best melee weapon in most video games so therefore it was perfect for any situation whatsoever. He tried revving the chainsaw.
*Vhirrrrr*
*Vhirrrr*
"Cmon you piece of shit."
*Vhirrr*
*Vhirrr*
"CMON!!!"
Jesse suddenly looked at the gas meter and read it was empty. He looked back at the workbench and couldn't find any gas containers or anything related.
"Dammit nothing is working the way it should today!"
He tossed the chainsaw to the side and grabbed the scythe. The second best melee weapon in video games. He went back to the front barn door, got into position with scythe in hand, and began to wait.
"Yeah come on.. Come get your head cut off bitch."
Jesse said threateningly, but when he said this he started thinking about it in more detail.
He thought that cutting an innocent woman's head off was pretty fucked up.. But it's not real.. It's just a show for kids.. Yeah man it's just like video games nothing bad will happen right?
Jesse was disturbed by his thoughts. He then slumped to the ground and dropped the scythe in his hand.
"I really am an animal.. I was going to cut an innocent pony's head off.."
Jesse stared at his hooves and tears started to form in his eyes.
"I.. I don't want to kill her.. She just irritated me and locked me in a barn but that doesn't mean I have to kill her."
Jesse took a couple of deep breaths and shuttered trying to shake off the feeling of crying.
"Ok.. *heavy breathing* ok.. I'll just sit here and wait for Mr. White to get better and when she comes back with him we'll head out.."
So Jesse sat for a while. Time slowly going by each minute feeling like hours. Jesse was starting to get hot from the cramped barn full of animals and decided to take off his jacket.
"Phew.. Not a whole lot better but at least I can feel the air coming from the window."
Jesse stretched a little and relaxed from the breeze that managed to reach him. For a little bit he was at peace. He managed to calm down and didn't think badly of the orange pony. He was actually thinking about apologizing to her about his behavior and maybe starting over. Suddenly, he caught a slight movement from the corner of his eye.
"Hmmm?.."
"..."
OH HELLLLL YEAH!"
"So Mr. White what are we going to do about Tuco? I mean we still have to deliver our batch to him tomorrow or else he's going to be insane pissed man."
"I don't know Jesse.. He's not a main concern right now though so lets just focus on getting out of here."
The two were walking down the dirt road from Apple Acres heading towards town. They could see the town coming into view with all the different shops and houses all seemingly batched together from so far away.
"Look Jesse. There's a town just further down the road. Pretty soon we will be back in our own dimension, we'll deliver our meth to Tuco, and I'll see Skyler agai-"
Walter suddenly looked concerned.
"Yo Mr. White whats up?"
Walter started slapping his hooves over his pockets, feeling his brown coat and looking frantic.
"DAMMIT WHERE'S MY PHONE!?"
"Mr. White, I don't know. Did you leave it in the RV?"
Walter facehoofed.
"We have to go back for it NOW!"
Walter took off galloping back up the dirt road.
"MR. WHITE WAIT UP! YO MR. WHITE!!"
Jesse galloped after him. Walter was still way ahead going faster the more he thought about Skyler calling him and being unable to answer.
He was about to take the turn leading back to the farm when he heard rumbling in the distance. He immediately stopped and listened. Jesse caught up and panted next to him.
*Pant* *Pant* "Mr. White why did yo-"
"Shhh Jesse listen."
Walter pointed to the origin of the noise just further up the road and Jesse stared to where he was pointing. The rumbling noise was getting louder and louder. Suddenly, Walter and Jesse saw what was coming with fear in their eyes.
"STAMPEDE!!!!!"
They both yelled in unison as they took off galloping away from the oncoming barrage of cattle. The cattle were beginning to catch up little by little letting out moos and wails all along the way.
"MR. WHITE WHAT DO WE DO!?!"
Walter trying to calm his heart down as best as he could yelled.
"JESSE DOWN THAT SIDE ROAD INTO THE FOREST!!!"
Jesse leaded the way galloping as fast as he could. They both jerked themselves off the road, galloped into the side road, and kept galloping. They didn't stop to look behind them and kept charging through the thick brush of the forest. They kept galloping and eventually made it out, as a small little cottage started to come into view. Outside of the cottage was a yellow pony with pink hair tending to some bunnies. Unfortunately, Walter and Jesse were still galloping from fear and were headed for a collision course with the yellow pony. She looked at them with petrified fear.
"EEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!" She screamed as they came closer.
Jesse immediately put on the brakes by putting his hooves on the ground, sliding forward with inertia. Walter still galloping, ran into Jesse and they both tripped into a rolling ball. They rolled and rolled getting closer to the terrified pony but right before they collided they stopped within an inch of her presence.
Walter stressed out from the adrenaline coursing through his body passed out.
Jesse looked at the yellow pony dazed
"No Badger.. No more meth man I've smoked enough today."
Jesse passed out next to Walter.
=================================================================================================
"I'm so sorry Applejack for the trouble we caused." said Moolinda one of the stampeding cattle. "We just saw a dreadful looking snake and we couldn't help but run in fear. I mean it only makes sense don't you know?"
Applejack sighed "It's ok I just wish you would stampede someplace else besides Ponyville. Yall have a good day now."
The cattle started heading back to their pasture. Applejack went into town to Rarity's Carousel Boutique. She went inside and met Rarity who was sowing a dress at the moment but stopped suddenly when she saw Applejack.
"Hey Applejack it's so good to see a friendly face. It's been a boring day working on these dresses getting them ready for the gala in time. Do you want to see the design I made for you?"
"Not right now Rarity, I wanted to ask some questions about these crystals that I borrowed from a friend."
Applejack put the bags of blue crystal on a counter along with a black device with a square green crystal and little black crystals with numbers on them.
Rarity's eyes lit up the moment she saw the bags.
"Oh my! Wow! I have to inspect them immediately!"
She quickly grabbed the bags and poured the crystals out onto the counter. She grabbed a Magnifying glass and gave a closer inspection.
"Oh Wow! This is truly amazing craftsmanship for synthetic crystal!" She said excitedly.
But she noticed something that made her immediately frown.
"Hmmm.. But the angle of the cut is poor it's as if the creators weren't at all focused on making them look pretty."
After a little more inspection Rarity sighed. "Garbage, and to believe I was getting worked up for a second."
"Well Rarity what about this doohickey?"
Applejack picked up the black device and showed it to Rarity. Rarity just frowns and looks at it uninterested.
"What about it Applejack?"
"Well I mean its got these little black crystals with numbers and when you push on one of them it shows up on the green crystal. Not only that but one time it talked out loud!"
Rarity got excited again and a smile spread across her face.
"A TALKING CRYSTAL! I need it! Give me give me give me!"
She said in quick repetition.
She took the black device and inspected the black and green crystals.
"Well at least these crystals are cut into a shape. But rectangles are just so boring in my opinion."
She pushed on the black buttons and like Applejack said, the numbers were appearing on the green crystal. Then she could hear it make a noise and it startled her a little but then it disappeared. Then it sounded again, and Rarity and Applejack stared at the device in unison.
*Urrrrrrrrrrrrr*
*Urrrrrrrrrrrrr*
"Hello Los Pollos Hermanos can we take your order?"
Rarity got excited so excited she accidentally knocked over the bags of blue crystal on her floor. The little crystals scattered everywhere but Rarity didn't notice.
"Rarity your flo-" Applejack began to say but was cut off by Rarity talking to the device.
"Los Pollos Hermanos? What's that? And why do you want to take my order?"
There was a pause but then she heard the device speak again.
"Oh I get it your a dumb blonde. Ha ha very funny goodbye."
*Click*
Rarity's face grew red.
"How dare you insult my intelligence and my mane isn't blonde it's purple."
Rarity waited for a response.. She didn't receive any.
"OHHH the nerve!.. Honestly though Applejack I think it was talking to you I mean after all you do have a blonde mane."
Applejack just rolled her eyes
"Listen Rarity can you look after these while I try to find my friend, these crystals were given to me by him and they are really important."
Rarity nodded her head in acknowledgment.
"I suppose so but I don't understand why he would want such a rude talking crystal and a bunch of shoddy ones."
"Well they are special crystals and mean a lot to him, anyway gotta run. Thanks Rarity I'll be back soon."
"Farewell then Applejack, I hope you find your friend."
Applejack nodded and exited out the door leaving Rarity with the device and spilled crystals. She eyed the device.
"I've got my eye on you ruffian." As she walked away while staring at the device she suddenly slipped on one of the blue crystals.
"EEEEEE!" She let out a startled squeal as she fell on her back. The blue crystal she slid on flung into the air and started falling and falling... Until it landed in her nostril. The startled Rarity accidentally snorted it.
*Snort*
"Ew.. Hmm.. OHHHHHH YEESSSSS!!!"
My Little Pony: Breaking Bad
Ch. 4 Jesse. 20% More Badass
Walter slowly opened his eyes. He found that he had been sleeping on a couch inside a small living room. From the looks of the interior, it seemed woodsy. He remembered the cottage that had come into view as he and Jesse were galloping away from the stampede. He also found Jesse sleeping on a couch opposite of him across the room. A yellow pony with pink hair came in through the front door, along with a blue, rainbow maned pony. She was bringing a turtle into the house and from the look of the turtle, it wasn't doing to well.
"Fluttershy you have to help Tank! It looks like he's going to die!"
"Don't worry Rainbow Dash." Fluttershy said calmly. "He just has a little cold. Of course he won't be able to fly with you in that machine for a couple of days."
Rainbow Dash snorted. "Awww man.. We had so many tricks to try out too."
Walter shook himself partially out of the covers. Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash noticed the movement.
"Ay yo Fluttershy. What's up with the ponies in your house anyway?"
Fluttershy ignored the question and went over to Walter with a look of kindness in her eyes.
"Are you doing better? Would you like me to make you some soup?"
"Oh no thank you." Walter said. "Umm.. Where are we if you don't mind me asking?"
"Your in my cottage on the edge of Everfree Forest. I know it's a little scary but I like to make sure the animals of the forest are well taken care of."
When she said this a little bunny hopped into the room, crossed his arms, and nodded in triumph.
"This is my pet bunny Angel. She helps me take care of the other animals and helps me around the house."
The bunny in response, looked serious and saluted.
"Well it's nice to meet you Angel and.. I'm sorry I didn't catch your name Miss?"
"Fluttershy and this is my friend Rainbow Dash."
"Sup" Rainbow Dash said bluntly and apathetically.
"It's nice to meet you all."
Rainbow Dash flew over to Jesse sleeping on the other couch.
"Shouldn't we wake this colt up and see if he's ok too?"
Walter immediately thought of the following scenarios that would happen if Jesse were to wake up.
Scenario 1: *Snort* "Huh?.. Ay yo back off bitch this ain't no peep show. Ay Mr. White, what's up with the pink hair bitch and the little bunny bitch."
Scenario 2: "Aww man this is such a cozy couch.. Ay yo blue bitch, go into the kitchen and make me a sandwich and take that yellow bitch with you. Yo Mr. White, wake me up when they get done making it, I'm going to catch a few Z's. *Snore* bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch *Snore* bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch."
Scenario 3: *Snort* "Bitch? Bitch bitchety bitch bitch? Hmmm bitch... Bitch! Bitch! BIATTTCH! BIIIIIAAAAAATTTCHHHH!! BIIIIIAAAAAATTTTCCCCHHHHH!!!!!"
"Actually it's probably better that you don't wake him up, he had a rough day yesterday and he would probably be in a bad mood."
"Whatever" Rainbow Dash replied again apathetically
Fluttershy took the turtle out of Rainbow Dash's hands and headed towards the kitchen.
"Feel free to join us for dinner Mr.... uhh."
"Heisencolt and well... I guess it's not like I can go anywhere without my partner so sure, I'd be delighted."
"Wow.. Delighted? Really?" Rainbow Dash mocked to herself as she entered the kitchen.
Walter furrowed his eyebrows when he heard the rude comment. He wasn't so sure about being friends with Rainbow Dash.
"Aghh!! I'm sorry I forgot my jacket!! I'll be right ba-"
"No don't worry about it." Fluttershy said. "I took it off you so I could give you better treatment and it's fine, most of the ponies in town don't wear clothes."
"Yeah just chill, geez." Rainbow Dash said.
Walter still worried about them seeing his... "Package". So he covered up, but he noticed that something didn't feel right. He looked down and noticed that he didn't have a "Package". It was just normal belly fat. Was I castrated when jumping dimensions? Walter thought but quickly shook his head and entered back into reality.
Rainbow Dash arched an eyebrow.
"Are you ok baldy?"
Walter gave her a slightly annoyed look "Yeah I'm fine." and went to eat his Cauliflower sandwich.
Fluttershy spoke up while he ate.
"So ummm.. I noticed while I was treating you, you had a cutie mark with elements on it?"
Walter swallowed his food.
"I'm sorry.. What's a cutie mark?"
Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy looked at each other with astonishment and Walter quickly responded.
"I mean I know what it is.. I just hit my head kind of hard when crashing in front of you and my memory is a little blurry."
"Yeah, you must of hit it really hard to forget what a cutie mark is!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed rudely.
"Rainbow Dash stop making fun of our guest, he might have a bad case of amnesia."
Rainbow Dash just rolled her eyes.
"It's the mark on your flank. I believe it should be on both sides."
Walter looked at his cutie mark and she was right. It was on both sides of his flank and it was two green squares, labeled Br and Ba, stacked diagonally from each other.
"I'm guessing that your good with chemistry?" Fluttershy asked.
Walter responded with a little pride.
"I actually used to teach ki- fillies about chemistry. I was a well respected chemistry teacher, in fact, a local business became successful because of my ideas."
Fluttershy looked amazed, Rainbow Dash just looked bored.
"Yeah, Yeah. We should introduce this guy to Twilight Sparkle, I'm sure you eggheads would immediately hit it off."
Walter glared at Rainbow Dash and was about to tell her off when he heard a huge thud outside. Tank withdrew into his shell and Angel hopped out of the room. Fluttershy was also getting scared and started to shrink into her chair. The thudding came closer and was soon followed by a roar. Rainbow Dash said quietly "Oh no, not now." and flew quickly outside. Walter, wondering what was going on, rushed after her out of the cottage and found a huge red dragon looking down at the little building.
"WHAATT A DRAGON!?!!?" Walter shouted looking repetitively at Rainbow Dash than the dragon.
"Yeah it's migrating season for them and sometimes they like to come down from their flight path to cause trouble."
Rainbow Dash looked at Walter
"Listen I'm going to need you to help me distract it. We have to get Fluttershy to stop it, she's the only one who can tame dragons and get them to listen to her."
Walter gave her a terrified look and started shaking.
"ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND! WE CAN'T STAND UP TO THAT THING! WE'LL GET EATEN!"
His heart started to race. Rainbow Dash put her hooves on his shoulders and looked firmly into his eyes.
"Look just calm down and trust me. I'm the element of loyalty and I won't let you be eaten. It's very important that you do exactly as I say ok?"
Walter's heart slowed down a little.
"Ok.. I trust you.. What do we do?"
The dragon immediately came down with his mouth. His jaws gleaming with many rows of sharp teeth. Rainbow Dash quickly scooped up Walter and flew out of the way of being chomped. She landed by a nearby tree.
"You have to call out to Fluttershy. I'll try and distract the dragon as much as I can but I can't beat it without her. Just make a mad dash towards the cottage and I'll cover you. Ok?"
Walter understood and galloped towards the cottage. The dragon saw him coming and opened his jaws for another bite when suddenly a bolt of rainbow appeared in front of him.
"You want him? You'll have to go through ME!"
Rainbow Dash bucked the dragon hard on the snout. The dragon roared and tried swiping at her but she was flying circles all around him. Walter reached the cottage door and started yelling.
"FLUTTERSHY WE NEED YOUR HELP!!"
there was no reply.
Walter started banging on the door and he heard a startled squeal. "No please.. I hate dragons. They're the scariest animals of all. Please don't make me face that awful beast." She asked quietly barely getting the words out.
"FLUTTERSHY LISTEN IF YOU DON'T HELP US WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE!!! RAINBOW DASH, ME, YOU!!! WE WILL BE EATEN AND NEVER SEE OUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY AGAIN IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT??!!!?!"
But no response. The dragon was still trying to swipe at Rainbow Dash.
"I CAN'T HOLD HIM MUCH LONGER! FLUTTERSHY!! HEEEELLLPPP!!"
There was a long pause, but the door slowly opened to reveal a determined looking Fluttershy in the doorway.
"Let's take care of this dragon."
She flew outside and began flying up towards the dragon.
Suddenly, another figure appeared in the doorway.
"Jesse what are yo-"
Jesse walked past Walter and.. Started flying towards the dragon too?
"JESSE YOU CAN FLY!!?"
Walter yelled in astonishment but he didn't get a response.
Fluttershy saw the white pony flying past her towards the dragon.
"Wait! It's too dangerous! Get back!" She said urgently but not loudly.
But she was ignored, and the white pony kept flying towards the dragon.
Rainbow Dash was distracting the dragon but they both saw the oncoming white pony. She immediately flew in front of him.
"Look! I know you just woke up bu-!"
Jesse put a hoove on her shoulder and pushed her to the side.
"What! Hey wait a mi-"
Jesse flew past Rainbow Dash and directly towards the dragon. It was glaring at him and baring it's fangs. Jesse flew in front of it's face standing about two feet away from it's gruesome jaws. Jesse looked at the creature with no expression. The dragon, still glaring at him and breathing heavily.
"JESSE GET BACK DOWN HERE YOUR GOING TO GET YOURSELF KILLED!!"
Walter shouted, but Jesse didn't respond and continued his blank expression.
Than, Jesse's expression started to change. His eyebrows slowly furrowed together, he slowly began to clench his teeth harder and harder, his face slowly turned into a shade of red. The sudden changing of appearance made the dragon stop glaring and it looked at Jesse in confusion. Finally, Jesse let his anger out.
"DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE FUCK I HAD TO GO THROUGH YESTERDAY!!!!"
The dragon looked stunned from the intense volume of his yelling.
"I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO GET OUT OF THIS FUCKING PLACE!! BUT INSTEAD I GET THE SHIT KICKED OUT OF ME BY SOME BITCH!! THAN I ALMOST GET RUN OVER BY FUCKING COWS!!! AND FINALLY WHEN I THINK I CAN ENJOY SOME PEACE AND QUIET YOU HAVE TO FUCK EVERYTHING UP!!!"
The dragon winced every time Jesse said a curse and began looking at Jesse with fear.
"YOUR A PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR A MONSTER!!! I'VE KILLED ZOMBIES, DEMONS, HELL I'VE KILLED OTHER DRAGONS IN VIDEO GAMES SCARIER THAN YOU!!"
When Jesse said this the dragon started trembling in fear.
"YOUR THE WORST CREATION OF A DRAGON EVER!!! I BET I COULD KILL YOU RIGHT NOW IF I WANTED TO!!! SO YOU WANT TO GET VIOLENT MUTHERFUCKER?!!"
The dragon looked at Jesse petrified with terror. Jesse flew in closer to the dragon's face until he was inches away from his eyeball. He glared into it and said calmly.
"So you really want to fuck with me.. Bitch?"
The dragon immediately turned around and flew back into the sky, roaring in sheer terror.
Jesse flew back to the ground and stood before Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, and Walter. Jesse didn't have his coat on or his beanie. His dirty blonde mane shone as it hugged his head and neck. He revealed that he was a Pegasus for he had wings on his sides. He also had a tribal tattoo going down both of his front hooves, A tattoo of a black skull on his back, and a cutie mark with a skull and crossbones, wearing a gray yellow striped beanie, and smoking a joint. Rainbow Dash looked amazed. "So.. Cool.." Walter just stared bewildered by all that happened and Fluttershy looked at Jesse trembling with fear. Jesse clopped past them, into the cottage, back onto the couch and went back to sleep.
==================================================================================
"Mmm-mom wheres dad?"
"I don't know honey but I'll call Hank and maybe he can help us."
Skyler dialed Hank's number on her phone
*Urrrrrrrrrrrrrrr*
*Urrrrrrrrrrrrrrr*
"This is Marie."
"Marie, it's Skyler.."
Skyler started to choke out tears.
"Hey what's wrong?"
"Put Hank on the phone! Walter's gone missing and I don't know where he is!"
Skyler started crying.
"Mmm-Mom what's going on? Mmm-Mom?"
==================================================================================
"Boss? It doesn't look like there here."
The smaller of the bodyguards said.
Tuco turned and looked at him with seriousness. Than, he began walking towards him.
"You think I don't see? That there not here?"
He walked closer to the bodyguard until he was right in front of him. The bodyguard started getting nervous.
"Uhh.. No sir I was just..."
"So your saying that I'm stupid right?? That I don't know that I was tricked?? That Heisenberg probably left town and took all the meth with him?? Is that what your trying to say?"
His face was now in front of the bodyguard's.
"No.. No sir.. Just-"
"JUST WHAT!!!"
"Just calm down."
Tuco stared at the bodyguard. The bodyguard looked away trying to avoid Tuco's gaze. Than suddenly, Tuco burst into laughter.
"HAAAHAAAAHAAAHAAAHA!!! You want me to calm down?? Ok.." Tuco breathed in than out.
"I'm calm.. I'm perfectly-"
Tuco punched the bodyguard in the face, making the bodyguard fall onto the ground. Than, Tuco got on top of him and started beating him. He punched him in the face over, over, over, and over again until his face was a bloody mess. The bodyguard stopped breathing but Tuco kept punching and punching until his face was mashed in. Tuco immediately got up from the dead body guard and yelled.
"WHERE ARE YOU HEISENBURRRRRRRRRRRGGGG!!!!!"
My Little Pony: Breaking Bad
Ch. 5 The Deception
Walter, Fluttershy, and Rainbow Dash got done talking as soon as Jesse started to stir from his nap. He let out a big, sudden yawn that scared Fluttershy into hiding behind the opposite couch. Jesse smacked a couple of times and opened his eyes.
"Aww man, that was such a good dream. Bitches everywhere."
He smiled as if he were in a daydream.
"How were you able to scare that dragon away? It was soo AWESOME!!"
Rainbow Dash eyed him with interest.
Jesse just rolled his eyes.
"Wasn't that hard, honestly even that yellow bi- I mean pony hiding behind the couch could have scared it off."
Rainbow Dash continued to admire her new hero adoringly. Walter suddenly lashed at Jesse.
"Jesse that was reckless behavior you could have gotten eaten! Do you have any common sense in that brain of yours?"
Jesse glared at Walter and Rainbow Dash joined in the glare too.
"Heisencolt. Jesse just saved our butts back there. If it wasn't for him we probably would have been killed."
Walter stunned at Rainbow Dash taking Jesse's side didn't reply but nodded. Jesse smiled with triumph behind Rainbow Dash as she continued her glare.
Suddenly an owl appeared, flying through the open window of the cottage. It was carrying a scroll wrapped with a red ribbon. Fluttershy appeared from behind the couch and took the scroll from the owl. "Is Twilight all right?" Fluttershy asked. The owl just replied with a hoo and flew back out the window. Fluttershy opened the scroll and read it to herself. The others watched her intently as she looked up from reading.
"We got an urgent message from Twilight for the elements of harmony to meet at her house."
"Wait let me see that." Rainbow Dash grabbed the scroll out of Fluttershy's hoof and read aloud.
"Dear friends, It's of absolute importance that you arrive at my house ASAP. Something awful has happened to the dimensions of this world and only the elements have the power to fix them."
Jesse looked at Walter.
"Mr. White do you think-"
"Shh Jesse lets just see where this goes."
Fluttershy looked frantic. "Oh my, Oh my. How bad do you think this is? We could all be in big danger. Oh my." She said scared but quietly.
Fluttershy looked back towards Jesse and Walter.
"It's not like we can just leave Heisencolt here with his partner. They still need their rest."
Walter quickly responded
"Oh no, not at all. We are fine honestly."
Rainbow Dash agreed.
"Yeah they look fine to me and i'm ok with Jesse coming with us to Twilight's."
She smiled at Jesse. Jesse gave nervous glances at Walter trying to signal him to speak up. Walter got the message. He directed his question at Fluttershy.
"If it's ok could we talk to your friend Twilight about our dilemma? Not only that but if the rest of the elements are going to be there I want to talk to AppleJack too about some other things."
"Well.. I don't see why not. Sure you can come along if you want. Rainbow Dash can you go on ahead and let Twilight know that some extra guests are coming?"
"Sure thing" Rainbow Dash gave one last admiring look at Jesse and took off out the window.
Walter smiled at Jesse. "Looks like someone has a fan club."
Jesse just frowned at Walter. "Yeah well whatever."
Walter chuckled and turned to Fluttershy.
“So about this Twilight.. Can she really help us with our problem?"
Fluttershy seemed to be kind of rushed
“I’m sorry Heisencolt but if the message really was urgent we have to leave immediately, but i’m sure that your questions will be answered when we get there.”
Walter nodded. “Sounds good to me.” Then, he put his brown jacket back on and Jesse joined him, putting his yellow jacket and beanie back on but before finally putting on his jacket he stopped. “Wait a minute I got an idea.” He went into the kitchen. “Jesse! What do you think your doing?” Walter exclaimed at his rudeness of keeping everypony waiting. “Just a sec i’m almost done.” Walter stamped his hoof impatiently and Fluttershy looked confused by Jesse’s unknown intention. Then, Jesse came out of the kitchen, he now had holes in his yellow jacket which exposed his wings. Walter examined the jacket closely. “A little sloppy don’t you think?” He remarked at the poor job Jesse did of cutting the holes. They were cut crookedly and at different angles.
“Look Mr. White it’s going to help us in the long run when I need to get us out of a tight spot. I mean it’s not like that pointless, gay horn is gonna help us out of a jam.”
Walter was enraged.
“Oh you think your a badass now because you scared off a cartoon dragon? I think I heard you say even Fluttershy could have done it!”
“Well Mr. White it’s not like you were doing anything besides standing around, looking like a little bi-”
“Please stop.” A meek voice interrupted.
Walter and Jesse both glanced at a trembling Fluttershy and suddenly they both looked down ashamed.
Walter apologized. “Sorry about that Fluttershy. Let’s go meet Twilight.”
Twilight Sparkle was pacing back and forth in her house, worried about the state of her dimension and possibly other dimensions affected by this tragedy. Spike was uncaringly eating from a bucket of ice cream, lounging on the living room chair.
“Twilight, I think your giving this a little too much thought. I mean, nothing really bad has happened like, a meteor hurdling towards Ponyville. Don’t you think your over exaggerating this a little bit?”
Twilight answered. “I know Princess Celestia said this wasn’t an emergency and it would probably be resolved in a few days, but the fact that it did happen puts me on edge. What if Discord is back and causing ruptures in dimensions.”
Twilight sped up her pacing, moving around in circles in intense thought. Spike watched her moving in circles and was getting dizzy. Suddenly Owlysus flew through the open window in the house and landed on her perch with a hoo. Twilight smiled “Owlysus were you able to deliver my messages?” Owlysus replied with a hoo.
Twilight turned to Spike “Good the others should be here in just a moment.”
“How are you able to understand what she says?”
Before Twilight could answer Spike’s question there was a knock on the door. “Coming.” Twilight replied heading towards the front door. She opened it to reveal Pinkie Pie, and AppleJack.
“Sorry about being late sugercube I was trying to find a friend of mine and return something to him.” AppleJack apologized.
AppleJack went into the house.
“WHAT’S THE EMERGENCY TWILIGHT!!? OH ARE WE HAVING ONE OF THOSE EMERGENCY PARTIES!!”
“No Pinkie.. Ow..” Twilight rubbed her ears from being yelled in. “And why are you yelling so loud.”
“BECAUSE YOUR SUPPOSED TO YELL IN EMERGENCIES AND PARTIES AND EMERGENCY PARTIES!!!!”
Pinkie Pie Smiled really big at Twilight. Twilight rubbed her ear and rolled her eyes.
“Come in but please, talk in your inside voice.”
“Which inside voice? THE PARTY INSIDE VOICE!! Or the EMERGENCY INSIDE VOICE!! Or the SeMi PaRtY SeMi EmErGeNcY InSiDe VoI-”
“Just your normal inside voice.” Twilight interrupted with a slight stern tone.
“Okey Dokey Lokey.” Pinkie Pie acknowledged and hopped into the house.
Everypony gathered into the center of the room. Pinkie Pie seemed to be in her own little world humming to herself While AppleJack, seemed to have important things on her mind.
“So Twi, what is this all about anyway? Something to do with dimensions or some other hootenanny.” AppleJack asked.
Suddenly, Rainbow Dash flew right inside the open window at incredible speed and came into just as incredible a stop above the center of the room. Owlysus’ perch rocked a little from the change in wind speed and Owlysus flapped and hooed a little frantically while her head spun round and round in complete rotations, but settled down when the perch did.
“Sorry about that. I had to get a message to you too, Fluttershy is on her way but is it ok if these other two ponies come over too? I mean they are pretty cool.. Well one is.. But like is it ok please?”
Rainbow Dash gave a pleading look at Twilight. Twilight looked a little confused.
“Well Rainbow Dash I don’t really know these ponies all too well and-”
“Wait a minute sugercube. Was one pony brown with a horn, no mane, and a red mustache?”
Rainbow Dash gave a surprised look at AppleJack and gave a wry smile.
“Wow that’s a little creepy.”
AppleJack, her suspicions confirmed, told Twilight. “It’s ok. These are good ponies and wouldn’t dare harm us.” Especially the rude one AppleJack thought to herself.
Twilight nodded with a smile. “Alright then, if they are friends of yours and Rainbow Dash’s then they are friends of mine.”
Everypony just rolled their eyes at Pinkie Pie.
Some time passed. Rainbow Dash was reading a book, Pinkie Pie was being.. Well Pinkie Pie, and Twilight Sparkle and AppleJack were busy talking about these new ponies that were about to show up. Spike of course was still eating ice cream and lounging on the chair along with a book in his hand. There was a knock at the door and Twilight stopped her pacing and went to answer it.
Fluttershy was at the door along with two other ponies that looked exactly as AppleJack had described them.
“Fluttershy come on in.”
“Thanks Twilight.” Fluttershy said going into the house.
“And you two must be the ponies that AppleJack mentioned.”
Walter looked gratified while Jesse seemed a little nervous.
“I’m happy you’ll have us. I promise we won’t intrude too much.” Walter said politely.
“Oh it’s no trouble at all really, come on in.”
As Walter and Jesse entered the house a blur of pink suddenly appeared in front of them.
“Oh wow!! New friends i’ve never met before!!”
Pinkie Pie turned and faced a certain direction and started talking as if to other people even though there was nobody there.
“You know what this means. Sing along if you know the words!”
Walter and Jesse looked at each other confused. Even more so when she pulled a colorful wagon inside from nowhere.
Welcome welcome welcome A fine welcome to you Welcome welcome welcome I say how do you do? Welcome welcome welcome I say hip hip hurray Welcome welcome welcome to Ponyville today
She sang all of this while playing random instruments that she also seemed to bring inside from nowhere. Jesse and Walter looked at each other, then back to Pinkie Pie, both at a loss for words.
“Wait for it.” She said only adding even more confusion and awkward tension to the situation. Suddenly the wagon made a dinging noise and shot confetti at Walter and Jesse. Then it shot badder on Pinkie Pie, Then on Jesse and Walter.
“Oh whoops I always forget to put the cupcakes into the oven and the confetti in the confetti launcher sorry about that Walter and Jesse.” Pinkie said with a giggle.
Walter and Jesse shook the badder off of them, Jesse looked annoyed but Walter laughed.
“Oh it’s ok I actually thought it was pretty...” Walter than looked at Pinkie Pie with a sudden sense of alarm. “Wait a minute.. How do you know my-”
Twilight intervened. “Pinkie Pie I think that was a little much for our guests. Why don’t you eat ice cream with Spike and read a book while we wait on Rarity.”
“Okey Dokey Lokey.” Pinkie Pie bounded off.
“Pinkie Pie you are so random.” Was heard faintly in the background.
“Feel free to make yourselves at home too, AppleJack has been wanting to talk to you Heisencolt, and Jesse feel free to read a book in the mean time while we wait on our other friend.”
Jesse stated. “I’m not really a book person. I’ll just hang around with my partner.”
Rainbow Dash overheard this and looked down at her book. She closed it and put it to the side.
“Yeah i’m not really a book person either. I was just trying to pass time seeing how it’s the only thing to do around here.”
Walter and Jesse clopped over to AppleJack who seemed extremely intent on talking to Walter.
“AppleJack what seems to be the problem?”
AppleJack seemed unsure how to tell him at first but looked down at the floor as she started to speak.
“You know how I promised that nothing would happen to the RV?”
Walter suddenly looked scared but AppleJack quickly stated.
“No No.. It’s fine really.. It’s just that.. I went inside even though i’m sure you didn’t want me to. I was just so curious about what in tarnation was in there and.. I found this weird talking crystal and some other crystals.”
Walter and Jesse looked at each other with alarmed tension. Jesse suddenly went off on AppleJack
“You shouldn’t have messed with our work didn’t we tell you we could get fired!!? Do you know that somebody could have gotten hurt by what you did?! HUH?!! YOU STUPID BI-”
Walter then covered his partner’s mouth. Everypony in the room had stopped talking and stared at the commotion Jesse had caused. AppleJack waved them off.
“No it’s fine everypony really, just go back to what you were doing.”
Pinkie Pie went back to eating ice cream with Spike. Then, everypony followed suit going back to reading or pacing in Twilight’s case. Then, faintly in the background Pinkie Pie said. “There’s something I need to check on i’ll be right back okey dokey.”
“I’m really sorry about that. I know I shouldn’t have stuck my nose where it didn’t belong.”
Jesse was about to hurl another insult when Walter quickly asked.
“Well you didn’t touch anything did you.”
AppleJack looked down again “Well.. I took the crystals to Rarity’s house to get looked at. I mean.. They were crystals like i’ve never seen before and the talking one said weird things and mentioned somepony named Walter.”
Walter suddenly looked nervous and didn’t know what to make of these discoveries. Jesse was infuriated and had obvious trouble trying to keep his mouth shut.
“You know Hiesencolt. You don’t have to hide anything. If you tell us what your problem is we can help you. You said you needed to get back to your family right? Just be honest with us and we can help.” AppleJack gave a pleading look.
Walter’s heart started to pound and he could hear it in his ears. He looked to Jesse, Jesse nodded his head no. He heard AppleJack’s voice faintly through the rhythmic beats slowly getting faster. “Please.. You can trust us.”
Suddenly, The door burst open with Pinkie Pie looking at everyone with panic in her eyes.
“EVERPONY WE HAVE AN EMERGENCY!! THERE’S SOMETHING WRONG WITH RARITY!!!”
Suddenly everypony rushed towards Rarity’s boutique while Pinkie Pie galloped towards Walter and Jesse.
Walter and Jesse not sure what was going on galloped after Pinkie Pie. Pinkie Pie followed the herd in front heading to Rarity’s boutique, but suddenly cut the corner to Sugercube Corner. Walter spoke up “Hey I thought we were following them?” Pinkie Pie didn’t say anything. She quickly opened the door to Sugercube Corner and motioned them inside quickly. Walter and Jesse galloped inside and Pinkie Pie quickly opened another door leading downstairs. “Quickly in through here.” Jesse and Walter stopped at the edge of the stairs. “Wait a minute what’s going on?” Walter asked but suddenly felt a sting and heavy push on his backside and tumbled downstairs with Jesse following suit.
They hit the bottom of the stairs and couldn’t see in the pitch black darkness.
“Aww man my head.” Jesse said in pain.
Walter’s heart started acting up again and he started to wheeze and cough.
The lights dimmed on little by little, slowly revealing more and more features in the room.
They could make out writing on the wall. It said DON’T LAUGH AT ME scribbled in an unorderly manner. As the lights slowly got brighter they noticed more things. There were many sharp weapons like cleavers, and swords decorating the upper walls. There were buckets of unknown chemicals and a large machine in the center.
*Hee Hee* *Heee*
They heard cackling come from the corner of the room. From what they saw it was a White pony with purple hair and a 3 diamond cutie mark. She was twitching and was chained to the wall. Walter’s heart couldn’t take much more but he tried to calm down as best he could. Jesse looked seriously disturbed, Walter had never seen Jesse so scared before and it didn’t help his heart any. As the lights fully turned on, all the features of the room were visible. Walter and Jesse stared in terror at what they saw. There were pony skulls in a large pile in the corner across from the demented pony. The cobble stone walls seemed to have splatter patterns of blood as well and some walls had gibberish written in said blood. Finally there were tubs of blood in the center next to the machine.
“Mr.White. Just who the fuck.. Are we dealing with here?”
“HELLO!!!” came a loud voice from behind them. Walter and Jesse jumped back away from the distorted looking Pinkie Pie. Her hair was straight instead of the usual poof.
“Now I know what both of you must be wondering.”
She started moving closer and closer to Walter and Jesse. They both started to back up away from her.
“Your thinking why me? Why is this happening to me? Will I ever see my family again? The same questions asked over and over again, just by a different pony.”
She continued walking towards them now with a demented smile and look in her eyes. Walter and Jesse continued walking back. Jesse felt something sharp on his back hoof, Yes he thought positioning himself behind Walter he picked it up. They continued walking backwards into the room.
“Well i’ll be sure to make it nice and slow *giggle* that’s how she likes it after all nice.. and.. slow..”
Walter suddenly stumbled into a tub of blood and fell in. Jesse quickly galloped at Pinkie Pie yelling loudly “TAKE THIS YOU FUCKED UP BITCH!!” and stabbing her with the object in his hoof. Pinkie Pie made gasping noises and choked breaths.
But then, she suddenly started giggling and this in turn made Jesse step back and soil himself. He didn’t see any blood on her not even a scratch. She continued to giggle, “Now your going to pay for that.”
She started stepping towards Jesse as he fell down to his knees and just looked down waiting for the final blow. He winced, his life flashing before his eyes.
Suddenly, he heard loud fits of laughter. Pinkie Pie was rolling on the floor laughing, her hair was back in it’s usual poof. Jesse was confused and looked at the blade in his hoof, he pressed it against his skin and it retracted into the hilt, A fake knife.
Walter surfaced from the tub coughing and hacking.
“Mr. White are you ok?!?”
“It’s strawberry juice.” Walter managed to choke out, wading in the pool.
Pinkie Pie continued laughing “Wow I got you guys good!! You should have seen the look on your faces!!”
Jesse was angry but didn’t have the energy to yell or argue. He just suffered from a near death experience in his mind.
“Yep, mostly everything in here is fake. That’s also strawberry juice on the walls, the pony skulls are from the drama class that the cutie mark crusaders were taking. They let me borrow the skulls in exchange for some free cupcakes. All of the sharp weapons are fake as well as i’m sure you’ve found out. All in all it was a pretty funny prank, especially when you soiled yourself.”
She giggled and Jesse glared at her. “That wasn’t funny! I thought you were going to kill me!”
Pinkie Pie immediately looked sad. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to scare you that badly honest, I just wanted to use some dark humor since it’s almost Halloween.”
She looked to the side “Happy Halloween by the way.”
Jesse was confused by her talking to the wall but just decided to let it go. Pinkie Pie released Rarity from the chains. “Do I get crystal? do I, do I?” Pinkie Pie nodded and gave her a blue looking crystal from a bag lying nearby. Walter wadded out of the tub covered in strawberry juice and Jesse caught a glimpse of the bag.
“MR. WHITE IT’S OUR METH!!!”
“Which brings me to the real reason of why I brought you here.”
Pinkie Pie said carrying the bag over her back and Rarity following her intently eying the bag.
She walked in front of them and looked serious. This kind of put Walter and Jesse on edge considering they have never seen Pinkie Pie serious before.
“Your going to make meth for me using that machine and the buckets of phenylacetone.”
“What? Why?” Walter asked frantically.
“Because it’s so darn good and I think it should be shared with all of Ponyville don’t you think.” She smiled her demented look slowly coming on. “Oh and if you disagree with that.” She pulls a butterfly knife from behind her and twirls it around in her hoof, suddenly she snaps it fully open. “This blade is real.”
Walter and Jesse stare at her in horror as she takes the knife and picks a piece of meth from the bag and puts it on the blade. She brings it to her nose and snorts it. Her hair suddenly gets more poof and her face is even more twistedly insane than ever before.
“WOOOOO!!!” She slams her hoof to the ground. “WOW!!!” Rarity behind her gets worked up too. They both start giggling.
Hank investigates the disappearance of Walter. He drives around town and tries to get leads from some of the civilians but no luck. "Dammit Walter where did you go?"
Later that day he helps Skyler and Walter Jr. put up missing posters in town.
Tuco drives around town with his bodyguard. He is enraged.
"You won't get away Heisenberg!" He punches the passenger side door. The bodyguard starts to get a little nervous from Tuco's violent behavior. They pull into the parking lot of Los Pollos Hermanos. Tuco steps outside of the vehicle and walks up to the restaurant and what he finds immediately changes his mood.
"Well look what we have here." Tuco tears the missing person poster off of the doorway of the restaurant. "I thought your name was Heisenberg.. Walter White." He said this with a big grin on his face.
My Little Pony: Breaking Bad
Ch. 6 Don't Sniff The Cupcakes
Walter and Jesse were cleaning the equipment in the basement. They produced a couple of hundred pounds of product within the couple of days they've been working for Pinkie. It was a hard couple of days, there mental conditions were slowly deteriorating and the atmosphere around them didn't help.
"Jesse. How are you holding up?"
Jesse didn't even look at Walter. Jesse hadn't been himself in the last couple of days, he didn't talk much and when he did it usually had nothing to do with their situation.
"So Mr. White? If you had sex with a crazy murderous bitch, wouldn't that like make you the king of all bitches?"
See what I mean?
Walter looked at Jesse annoyed.
"Aren't you worried about the situation we are in? Pretty soon we ARE going to be killed by a crazy murderous bitch!"
Jesse looked unfazed from Walter's shouting, He continued washing the big tank in the middle of the basement.
"Well, me and Badger used to say if you have sex with a crazy bitch who's been in prison that kind of makes you a badass among bitches right?.. So I was wondering if you had sex with a crazy murderous bitch would that make you the king of all bitches?"
Walter paused and just stared at Jesse with confusion.
"What are you going to do? Have sex with our new boss?"
Jesse suddenly looked at Walter with anger.
"Fuck no!! I'm not a pony fucker!! I was just asking a question to take my mind off the fact that we will never see our families again, and we are going to die in a basement!!"
Jesse then started making insulting, impressions of Walter.
"But Jesse these Ponies might help us find our way home, Hey Jesse lets go to this meeting and maybe this Twilight pony can help us. Fuck you Mr. White, my life has been complete shit ever since you came into it. First, you get us involved with a crazy psychopathic drug dealer, and now you get us involved with another crazy psychopathic drug dealing PONY!! You killed us Walter!!! YOU FUCKING KILLED US!!!"
Jesse grabs a bucket and flings it at a nearby table smashing the glass lab tools on it. He breathes heavily and screams in anger, filling the basement with infuriated echoes. After his anger episode he calms down and looks at the floor with hopelessness. Walter watches it all with his mouth open, unsure what to say and full of guilt for what he put his partner through.
Jesse looks up at Mr. White from the floor.
"You want to know what I think of our situation Mr. White?"
He looks at Walter with an uncaring expression.
"I think we're already dead."
They hear a door opening up from atop of the stairs. Both watched as they saw their pink boss come down to meet with them.
"Hi Walter and Jesse!!" She exclaimed excitedly, her expression looking a distorted kind of happy. "I heard a little commotion down here, what seems to be the problem?"
Jesse just looked down at the floor and muttered to himself "Please just kill us already."
Walter glared at Pinkie and demanded.
"How do you know my name!"
Pinkie giggled. "I know all about you silly, I know that you have your own television show, and that you get into all sorts of sticky situations. I know that you work for Taco, oh whoops *giggle* I mean Tuco, and I know that you Mr. White-"
She quickly snorted a meth crystal into her nose, her hair poofed up a little more and she continued her conversation.
"MAKE THE BEST METH IN THE ENTIRE WORLD!!! *hee hee ha ha ha*"
Walter looked horrifically at Pinkie, surprised at how much she knew about him. But what was that part about them having their own television show?
"What do you mean our own television show?" Jesse asked voicing Walter's thoughts.
Pinkie bursted with laughter.
"You always thought you were real people? Who gets into situations like that in real life and makes them out alive? Are you crazy? I'm about as real as you are Jesse."
Walter and Jesse both looked at her shocked by the revelation.
Jesse started saying in a little voice. "No.. That can't be true."
Walter looked down at the basement floor. He thought about his family and friends, how he was able to dodge law enforcement and get so far as a meth cook. He even began wondering how he was able to make the best meth in the world and why nobody else had tried his method before. Then, he realized she was right.
Walter slumped down to the floor and Jesse saw the look on his face, it was a look of defeat.
"Aww, Don't look so down you two. We made alot of money with all of our shipments. Well, I mean I made alot of money."
They both glared at her.
"Oh yeah! I wanted to mention that you've been working for about 3 days in here and ponies are starting to wonder where you went off to! So I made up a story that you two wanted to help me with my new cupcake recipe and you were so excited about it that you wanted to work until it was completed!!!"
Walter arched an eyebrow at her.
"Sounds really, really hard to believe."
"Yeah well, Rarity helped me out with the story by standing by it and saying she was helping too! Isn't this great! Because of you we can share your creation with all of Equestria!!!"
Walter noticed her voice was distorted when she said this. Jesse still looked uncaring at the floor not noticing anything.
"So I will let you go for now until tomorrow, I suggest you get nice and comfortable here in Ponyville, because if you run out of town I'll know about it!"
She said the last part of her sentence in a menacing, childish tone.
Walter and Jesse headed up the stairs. They heard a voice calling up the stairs from behind them.
"And remember.. No tattling." They also heard the snapping noise of her butterfly knife.
They both walked out of the basement and into the interior of the shop. Inside the shop was a line of ponies, all of them looking crazed and a little excited. They rushed Walter and Jesse and started asking questions. "Is the new batch done? Can I have seconds?"
Jesse was about to shout at them, but suddenly lost the energy and just walked past them with Walter. They ignored everyponies questions about the cupcakes and made it outside of the store.
They saw that the line extended for quite a ways in fact, So far that that it went into the distance and into the horizon. Literally, ponies as far as the eye could see.
They looked back towards the shop and saw what appeared to be their RV next to the shop. It was painted pink and was redecorated to look like a station wagon. Written on it was "Pinkie's Brand New Sniffing Cupcakes."
Jesse turned to Walter.
"What are we going to do about this Mr. White?"
Walter shook his head. "I have no idea Jesse."
Jesse gave a pleading look to Walter. "Mr. White you always have an idea. We can't let this go on, this is beyond messed up man. It isn't human."
Walter looked at Jesse with sadness. "We never were human Jesse. We're just characters in a Television show."
Walter started to walk off away from Jesse. "Mr. White! Wait where are you going?"
"I'm sorry Jesse. I really am, I should never have cooked meth with you.. I've always been putting our lives in danger and you don't deserve it. I need to be alone, I'll see you tomorrow at work."
Tears were dripping down his face. The other ponies in line saw this and yelled "Hey have a cupcake it will cheer you up!!" He ignored them and kept walking down the line of ponies, into the distance. Jesse just watched as he left. Jesse suddenly felt all alone, his feeling of being vulnerable completely disappeared. Now, he no longer cared what happened to him and started walking away from Walter. Jesse's words echoed in Walter's mind "YOU FUCKING KILLED US!!!"
=================================================================================================
The sun had set and was replaced by Luna's moon, signaling to all of Ponyville that it was night time. Walter was getting tired and was going to need a place to stay. He sadly trotted down the road and spotted Twilight Sparkle's treehouse next to the path. He hoped that Twilight would let him stay and that she wasn't one of the meth crazed ponies in the long line. He knocked on the treehouse door and prayed, he pleaded to himself "Please open up, Please open up, Please open up." To his relief, the door opened to reveal a normal looking Twilight Sparkle. She suddenly looked at him like a long lost puppy returning home.
"Heisencolt where have you been?? Please come in quickly!"
Walter went inside the treehouse and Twilight shouted to Spike.
"Spike we need a table and some chairs, along with tea and daffodil sandwiches!"
A reply was heard back.
"What Why?"
"Because Heisencolt is back that's why!"
Spike immediately ran down the stairs and spotted Walter in the living room.
"Whoa, where have you been Heisencolt? It's been like three days!" He quickly ran up the stairs and grabbed a table and chair and zoomed down at a cartoon like speed. He planted the table and chairs and went into the kitchen and made tea and sandwiches. Twilight pulled up her chair using her magic horn, That's a nifty trick Walter thought looking at his own horn. Spike brought out the already done tea and sandwiches and put them in front of Twilight and Walter.
Twilight motioned for Walter to sit down and Walter complied, he sat in the chair that Spike provided him. Spike pulled up a chair of his own and sat at the table with them.
Twilight and Spike both asked in unison. "Where have you been?!?"
Walter answered. "I was helping Pinkie make her new cupcakes."
"Well we knew that." Twilight replied in an obvious tone. "But you mean to tell us that you were helping her make cupcakes in the basement for three days?"
Walter wanted badly to tell them the truth but he knew that he put Jesse in enough danger and he just wanted to give up. To him nothing mattered anymore.
"Yes I was very enthusiastic about helping Pinkie. With our help she was able to produce the best sniffing cupcakes in the world." He thought what's the point if we don't go home, we're just characters in a TV show. But there is something I've always wanted to do, that I've never been able to do before. Twilight and Spike were pummeling him with all kinds of questions like "Why would you spend three days in a basement?" and "Why wouldn't you come out and tell anybody you were fine?"
Walter interrupted their questions.
"Twilight, I know this is a bit weird to ask but.. I've never known how to use the magic on my horn and I was wondering if you could teach me a spell?"
Twilight looked at Walter with bewilderment. "You don't know ho-"
"It's a long story." Walter interrupted "Please, Twilight it's all I ask."
Twilight looked at him confused but nodded. Her face changed to a smile.
"Well, this is a bit sudden, but the most I can teach you is a basic levitation spell. It's a shame that your just now learning.. If you'd been doing this since you were younger I could've taught you more advanced spells."
Walter smiled at Twilight. "No worries Miss Sparkle, i'd be happy just to be able to lift objects with my magic."
Twilight smiled back and thought for a brief second. "Well, let's have you move that sandwich in front of you." she nodded at the sandwich in Walter's plate. "Just think really hard about the object you want to move. Then, think about moving the object to where you want it to go."
Walter looked at his sandwich. Then, he closed his eyes and started thinking. He heard a pulsing noise coming from his horn and felt energy building up in it. He heard Spike say "Whoa" then Twilight saying "What? You've seen me do it all the time." "I know.. But it's still pretty cool when somepony who's never done it before pulls it off."
Walter slowly opens his eyes and sees the sandwich floating in mid-air in front of him. He suddenly is filled with excitement at his accomplishment and thinks to himself I can do magic, I can actually do magic!
As he was thinking this, the pulse started growing weaker and the magic around his sandwich was starting fade. Twilight quickly said "Heisencolt!" Then he immediately went back to thinking about lifting the sandwich, replenishing the magical aura around it and regaining his control of the sandwich. He thought about it coming closer to his mouth. It followed his will, he took a bite out of it and sat it back down on the plate.
Spike clapped his hands saying "Bravo, Bravo!" and Twilight smiled at Heisencolt.
"Congratulations Heisencolt, it looks like you've mastered the levitation spell."
Heisencolt smiled back at them and did a little bow.
Twilight announced. "This is a cause for celebration! Spike can you get the cupcakes Pinkie made for us?"
=================================================================================================
Jesse trotted along the path until he came to a field. He planted himself on a hill overlooking the field and fell onto the grass looking up at the stars. He was filled with hopelessness and had no desire to live.
Suddenly, a blue face with a rainbow-mane came into his view. "Jesse! Where have you been!?!"
Startled by Rainbow Dash, Jesse quickly got up into a standing position. He gently said "Be careful about sneaking up on me, you scared me a little bit."
Rainbow Dash noticed Jesse's change of attitude and gave him a worried look. "You don't look so good, you should come to my house for the night. It's that cloud right over there." She pointed to a cloud house in the distance. Jesse just shrugged his shoulders and said "Sure, I don't have anywhere else to go and a bed beats a hill any day. Thanks Rainbow Dash."
Rainbow Dash blushed at his comment and Jesse followed her into the sky.
They landed on the cloud and Rainbow Dash opened the door to her house to Jesse.
"Welcome to Rainbow Dash's Super, Awesome, Amazing, Home with amenities included."
Jesse chuckled a little bit and entered the house.
"Hang on, let me get a table and some chairs. We can have lunch and you can tell me where you've been for the last 3 days!"
Rainbow Dash took off into the house at lightning speed and brought the furniture back just as fast. That's a pretty badass trick Jesse thought to himself.
While Rainbow Dash was placing the furniture, Jesse heard her say to herself. "Rainbow Dash you are such a genius. There's no way he doesn't like you now." She then, rushed into the kitchen and brought back some zap apple toast with rainbow juice.
They both sat down and Jesse started eating the toast. Jesse really liked the taste, even if it was rainbow-colored and the juice wasn't half-bad either.
Rainbow Dash asked. "Why were you working in Pinkie's basement? Why were you gone for so long?"
Jesse answered. "We were working for Pinkie because she is insane and was threatening to kill us if we didn't make her special cupcakes for her."
Rainbow Dash's eyes widened. "Naw, I'm just kidding." Jesse laughed. It wasn't a laugh of joy, more like hopelessness. Rainbow Dash breathed a sigh of relief and laughed a little with him.
She started asking more questions like: "Well, why were you working for her for so long?" And "Why didn't you tell anybody?"
Jesse interrupted her and asked her his own question.
"Rainbow Dash.. Can you teach me how to fly fast like you?"
Rainbow Dash immediately got excited. "But of course I can! I'm THE Rainbow Dash after all! But.." She looked at him confused. "I've noticed that you fly slow... Like, really slow for a pony your age. Is there something wrong with your win-?"
"It's a long story." Jesse interrupted. "Please teach me how to fly fast like you though. Please?"
Rainbow Dash's face turned red and she smiled. "Alright well, I don't have enough time to teach you how to go extremely fast like me. But I can teach you how to go faster than you do now." She motioned Jesse to follow her outside and started stretching her wings. They went out onto the cloud.
"Now you have to remember that before you take off. You need to spread your wings as far as they can go." She did the motion.
"Next, you have to flap them every second. Not flapping them like crazy, but every second to maintain your speed, and also put your front hooves in front of you and your back hooves straight back like this."
She suddenly took off and Jesse watched as she shot up into the sky and hovered way above him. "Now you give it a shot!" She yelled down to him.
Jesse folded his wings as far as they could go. He arched his back, started leaning back, and aimed his head towards the sky where Rainbow Dash was hovering. He then leaped up and flew fast into the sky, he reached Rainbow Dash in 3 seconds and hovered next to her.
He smiled at her "That was badass, thanks Rainbow Dash."
She smiled back and blushed a little bit.
"Oh it was nothing. C'mon we have to celebrate, I'll make us some desert."
They flew into the house, Jesse took his seat at the table and Rainbow Dash came out of the kitchen carrying two cupcakes in her hooves.
================================================================================================
What's the point Jesse and Walter thought as they were both given their cupcakes. Twilight arched her eyebrow at the cupcakes and said "Well, according to Pinkie we're supposed to sniff the crystals on the cupcakes and let them settle deep in our noses for an even tastier experience. She always was a weird one" Rainbow Dash finished this sentence holding the cupcake closer to her face. In the end we're just television characters, we don't have any real lives, everything we know about our world is just fake. But still, Walter looked at his horn and Jesse looked at his wings. Being able to do magic/fly is pretty cool/fucking awesome. So what if I'm not real? In the real world you could only dream of doing this stuff. Maybe being real isn't all it's cracked up to be, but one thing is for sure. Twilight, Rainbow Dash, and Spike all held the cupcakes closer to their snouts ready to inhale the crystals on the cupcakes. Real or not, I can't let this world get corrupted because of my mistakes/my dumbass!
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Jesse and Walter yelled in unison.
Walter used his magic to fling the cupcakes out of Twilight and Spike's grasps, throwing them hard on the floor.
Jesse shot at Rainbow Dash, grabbed the cupcake out of her hoof and smashed into the ground.
"DON'T SNIFF THE CUPCAKES!!!!"
=================================================================================================
Tuco finally found out Walter's identity. For a cop, it would take them months to find a missing person. They would have to bring in suspects for questioning, have to look hard for evidence. But Tuco had a luxury they didn't have, connections.
Tuco and his bodyguard drove into the desert and saw something that caught their eye, a rainbow? It hadn't been raining recently so why would there be a rainbow in the middle of the desert? They decided to follow the rainbow and at the end they saw something peculiar.
Tuco and his bodyguard got out of the car and saw a glowing object on the side of the road, they went to investigate.
=================================================================================================
Hank was eating his chicken sandwich in Los Pollos Hermanos. Suddenly, he saw Tuco walk in the restaurant with his bodyguard.
Tuco was well known at the station, everybody knew that Tuco had his hand in the meth racket and Hank decided it was time to see what these guys were up to. He got into his car discreetly and waited for Tuco and his bodyguard to exit the restaurant.
Hank was getting his nerves under control and kept whispering to himself "This is gonna be for you Walter, I'm gonna put down a drug lord for you, wherever you are buddy." Tuco and his bodyguard left the restaurant and got into their car. They pulled out and Hank followed them from a distance.
Hank was following them into the desert. He increased his distance even more to avoid suspicion but still kept his eyes on them, even though there car was barely in his sight.
He saw that there was a rainbow in the sky and this was very unusual considering it hadn't been raining at all. He saw that he was gaining distance to the car, it must have stopped by the road.
"What are these nut jobs doing? Stopping in the middle of the desert.. Must be a drug deal." He quickly pulled out his pistol and with his hand shacking he was barely able to cock it. He started picking up speed going faster, whatever they were doing it was going to end. "Get ready you sons of bitches, Here's Hankie!"
He floored the gas pedal going 90 and rolled down his window ready to shoot, he saw them and was within firing range of Tuco and his bodyguard but before he fired off a round he saw an explosion of rainbow and they disappeared. "What the Fu-"
The rainbow engulfed him and he disappeared too.
My Little Pony: Breaking Bad
Ch. 7 Final Battle
Walter threw the cupcakes on the ground using his magic. "What!! why'd you-"
Walter interrupted. "Look, Pinkie forced us to make these cupcakes in her basement, she plans on turning everypony in
Twilight and Spike stared at Walter unable to process what they were hearing.
Twilight spoke against Walter. "Pinkie would never do that!! She's one of my best friends!!"
Walter interjected. "Miss Sparkle, I know that but my partner and I have been working in her basement for 3 days. Look
Twilight looked outside the window of her treehouse. She saw the long line of ponies, many of them twitching and their eyes looking crazed with a starved hunger. Some were drooling and repeating sentences. Walter looked out the window with her and asked. "Please, too many are suffering and I need your help."
Twilight's eyes started forming tears as she watched the crazed ponies outside her house. She closed them and nodded. "Whatever you need Heisencolt."
"Then I'm going to need you to bring everyone here, and I want to use your lab."
All of Twilight's friends arrived at her house. Fluttershy and AppleJack were the first to show up, followed by Rainbow Dash and Jesse. "Wait, where's Rarity?" Rainbow Dash asked.
Jesse answered her question for her. "She's one of the crazed ponies, she's too far gone."
The rest of the ponies gasped and couldn't believe what Jesse said.
Walter called for their attention. "Look everypony, we are not from this dimension. We come from a different world. In our world we.. Cook a very addicting and life threatening drug called meth.. When we were shot into this dimension we brought it with us in our RV. Pinkie must have gotten a hold of it somehow and now she's using it to turn all of Ponyville into mindless meth ponies."
Walter continued. "I'm sorry for involving you in this, but i'm going to need your help in order to stop Pinkie from corrupting everyone in Ponyville."
Twilight and her friends were shocked by this revelation. They didn't know what to think of this new revelation.
Rainbow Dash replied arrogantly. "How do I feel about this? I think we should find out what's going on with Pinkie and Rarity! We have to save them and Ponyville!"
Applejack looked betrayed. "I can't believe y'all would make such a horrid thing in the first place! I thought y'all was good people!"
Walter looked at Applejack with guilt and sadness. "I didn't mean for any of this to happen.."
Applejack looked at Walter with contempt in her eyes. "After we stop Pinkie, I want you to go back to your dimension and never come back."
Applejack's words stung Walter's heart. He lost the trust of his only friend in this world and there was no getting it back.
Twilight nodded and it was decided. "Ok Heisencolt, what's the plan?"
Walter replied. "Please, call me Walter."
==================================================================================
They went to SugarCube Corner to confront Pinkie and Rarity, outside was the long line of meth-crazed ponies all muttering their insane gibberish and constantly talking about cupcakes. Pinkie exited the shop and all of the ponies started snorting and Whinnying excitedly.
"It seems that you've disobeyed my orders Walter and Jesse."
Pinkie said in such a distorted voice that she sounded like more of a monster than a fun-loving pony.
Twilight shouted. "Why Pinkie why are you doing this? This isn't like you at all! Where's our friend?"
"I'm right here silly! This is going to be the most fun we've ever had!! Just try one of my new cupcakes and we can all have fun together!!!" She said with a twisted smile, her voice more monstrous.
Walter shouted at her "No this ends here! Now!" He started charging magic into his horn. "Think Fast!!" Pinkie shouted. Suddenly, with inhuman speed Pinkie threw a meth cupcake at Walter. Walter was stunned momentarily at the sight of the oncoming cupcake heading directly for his face.
*Bang*.. A portal opened up in front of Walter and two ponies fell out. One was a portly brown pony with a black mane and tail along with a black jacket, and the other was a taller brown pony with no mane and black tail wearing a black suit. "Walter it's Tuco!" Jesse shouted. Walter just stared at the two heaps in front of him. Suddenly, the incredibly fast cupcake hit it's mark on the shorter pony's face.
*Sniff *Sniff*.. The shorter pony rubbed the cupcake off and revealed a demented, psychotic face.
"AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"
Tuco got up from the ground and charged at Pinkie.
Tuco shouted. "I'M GONNA KILL YOU ALLL!!!"
The other meth ponies were getting worked up at the yelling and got more excited. He pulled out a knife from his black jacket and started stabbing at Pinkie.
Twilight and the others gasped. "We have to save Pinkie!!" Rainbow Dash yelled ready to jump into battle. Jesse stopped her before she shot off, "I don't think he's winning."
Jesse was right, Pinkie was dodging all of his stab attacks and laughing all the while in her distorted voice. Tuco's bodyguard dashed into the scene, "I got her boss." and grabbed her from behind and held her out to Tuco.
Pinkie laughed and laughed as Tuco drew closer with his blade. He looked angry and ready to kill anything that would get in his way. He walked up to Pinkie's face and raised his knife ready to come down on Pinkie.
"I wouldn't do that if I were you." She said menacingly.
Suddenly, Pinkie's eyes started to change color, the whites of her eyes turned yellow and her pupils started changing into thinly cut ovals like a cat's eye.
Tuco high and terrified stabbed repetitively over and over again at the possessed pony. Only he wasn't stabbing at Pinkie.
Pinkie had phased out of the bodyguard's clutches and appeared behind him. She stabbed him over and over as Tuco was stabbing the bodyguard in confusion. Tuco pulled his knife out of the bloodied guard and he fell over dead, revealing the twisted, insane Pinkie Pie.
"I told you silly! You can't kill me!! FOR I AM A GOD!!!"
All of the meth crazed ponies were excited and neighing in delight, dark clouds started forming around the battleground and thunder and lightning were crashing above them.
Twilight and the other ponies were shocked at the turn of events. "But, how is this even possible?" Twilight said in a quiet voice.
The battle continued, Tuco kept stabbing and missed every time. Pinkie kept dodging with her pulsing yellow eyes, giggling all the while. She quickly bucked the knife out of Tuco's hoofs and pinned him to the ground with her knife at his neck.
"Now you die!!" She giggled monstrously.
Suddenly, a portal appeared above Tuco and Pinkie Pie. A car came out of the portal and fell on them, crushing them both. Inside the car was another portly pony, only he was yellow instead of brown and wore a brown jacket.
Twilight and the others ran towards the car. "Pinkie!!" Twilight and her friends yelled going to see if she was alright.
Hank stumbled out of the car onto his hoofs not knowing what was going on. Walter and Jesse both shouted "Hank is that you!?" as they converged on his position. Hank thought to himself Ponies everywhere, everything looks like a cartoon, yep I must be dead. Didn't know heaven made you into pony when you got here though.
Walter and Jesse sprinted up to Hank. "Hank it's me Walter."
Hank looked at the mustached pony. "You mean your dead too?" He looked over at Jesse. "What? How did he get into heaven?"
Jesse gave him an irritated look. "You dumbass bitch! We aren't dead, we're trapped in another dimension and we are trying to get back home."
Twilight and the others were about to investigate under the car when all of a sudden, Celestia came down from the sky above in her chariot.
"Twilight!! Get away from there!!!"
Twilight and the others looked at her confused. All of a sudden the car started shaking and rattling.
"C'mon Hank there's no time to explain!" Walter indicated to Hank to follow the others as they all ran back away from the convulsing car.
The clouds overhead were getting more violent and the wind speed started picking up.
The meth ponies were getting extremely excited and their eyes started changing like Pinkie's eyes.
Twilight and the group met up with Celestia a safe distance away from the car.
"What's going on Princess? What's happening to everypony?"
Before Celestia could answer her question the car rattled louder and louder. Suddenly the car was lifted into the air by a little pink blob and was tossed into SugarCube Corner, destroying the building.
"Twilight Sparkle, that's not Pinkie. She's being possessed."
Twilight looked at her with fear. "Than who is it?"
"Take a wild guess!" said the monstrous voice Pinkie. Behind her a shadow started to form, it grew longer as it began to take shape. It grew into long shape of a snake and grew mismatched appendages and finally formed.
"DISCORD!!" Twilight and the others shouted.
Behind Pinkie was Discord, the demented Draconequus. He laughed as they looked on in terror.
"Yes, I was the one who ripped open the dimensions of Walter and Jesse's world and brought them here. I needed their meth to control all of Ponyville and make it the drug capital of Equestria, and might I add Walter you've done a great job helping me get this far."
Walter looked at him with anger. Discord laughed at Walter's disgusted look.
"Of course we also needed to get your RV. I used my magic to zap it over to Sugercube Corner than had Pinkie set up the meth lab in the basement. It was the perfect plan and I have to thank you both Walter and Jesse for helping to achieve DOMINATION OF ALL OF EQUESTRIA!!!"
He suddenly went back inside of Pinkie and she laughed monstrously.
The meth ponies were now crazed and were being.. Dragged... Like some ominous force was pulling them towards Pinkie. Suddenly they started flying into Pinkie and started attaching to her, more and more started attaching and soon Pinkie started to grow in size.
"CELESTIA!! WHAT DO WE DO?!?" Twilight yelled in panic.
"You have to pull Discord out of Pinkie!! Only Then, can you defeat him!!"
Rainbow Dash yelled. "But what about Rarity?!?"
Jesse started looking at the line of meth ponies being sucked in. He spotted Rarity about to go flying towards Pinkie. He shot himself out towards her.
"JESSE WAIT!!" Walter and Rainbow Dash yelled. As Rarity was about to attach to Pinkie, Jesse caught her and dashed back with the others.
Rarity was maniacally convulsing and hissing. She swiped at the others with her hooves until Celestia touched her with her horn. There was a bright flash and she blinked a few times. She looked like she was back to normal.
"What.. What happened?" She said in confusion. "Not alot of time to explain Rarity. Discord is back and has possessed Pinkie and is about to destroy us!" Twilight frantically told Rarity.
Pinkie had sucked up every meth pony in Ponyville. She towered over them, her legs were made up of many meth ponies and her face formed a twisted looking smile with crazed yellow eyes. Her mane and tail were white and her body was gray, her cutie mark was changed from balloons into ghost white meth crystals. Her body convulsed with all kinds of movement from the cackling meth ponies.
The giant meth pony heave it's head back and her it's mouth started glowing.
"Everybody RUUUUUNNNN!!!!" Jesse shouted.
They all started dashing away from the upcoming blast. Before the monster finally shot the blast of energy, Twilight teleported everyone out of it's blast radius just in the nick of time. The blast missing them by seconds exploded and spread in a mile radius.
"We have to do something we can't just keep running away like this!" Rainbow Dash said.
Walter spoke up. "I have a plan everypony. Get into your positions, Jesse fly me up to the giant meth pony's face."
Jesse looked at Walter like he was insane. "Are you nuts?? We are going to be blasted into bits by that bitch!!"
Walter gave Jesse a serious look and Jesse nodded solemnly and sighed. "*Sigh*...Fuck."
He picked Walter up and shot towards the monster's face. Jesse hovered inches away from the monster's face holding Walter in his hooves. Walter used his magic to lift a blue crystal out of his jacket pocket.
The monster suddenly reared back laughing loudly and started talking.
"So let me get this straight? I take possession of Pinkie, I grow to exponential size and become all powerful, and you think you can defeat me with more meth crystals?" The monster reared it's head back and laughed even more than looked at Walter with a spiky toothed grin.
Walter glared back at the monster holding the blue crystal with his magic. "You got one part of that wrong." he said rearing his head to the side. "This.. Isn't meth."
He flung his magic horn, hurdling the crystal at the monster. It made a massive explosion blowing Jesse and Walter away.
Twilight teleported them back with her magic and they watched the monster.
It writhed in pain and the meth ponies started falling off it. It looked as though it were melting as it lost more and more pony appendages.
Jesse looked at Walter amazed and asked. "What the hell did you make?"
Walter smiled at Jesse.
"Dispelling agent. It counteracts being possessed by another being."
Jesse looked at him confused. "But, how did you know she was being possessed?"
Walter explained.
"I remembered hearing her voice while working in that basement, it suddenly sounded distorted and different when we left that day. So I did some research in Twilight's library about possessions and it seemed to fit the bill. My suspicions were confirmed when Discord revealed himself, of course in case I was wrong I made a few back ups."
He showed Jesse a few other crystals in his jacket. He pointed to each one individually.
"Yep, this is the one that would have summoned a wall of fire engulfing whatever it came into contact with. This one would suffocate it, causing it to die of asphyxiation. This one though, is the last resort.. This baby would have caused a massive nuclear explosion destroying a good portion of this world, possibly taking out a chunk of the planet."
Walter smiled at Jesse. "Thank god we didn't have to come to that."
Jesse backed away from Walter with his hooves in the air. "Yo bro don't come near me with that shit." he said nervously.
The monster dissolved into a pile of ponies, all groaning and looking sick. Twilight and everybody else dashed towards the pile.
"Pinkie!! Pinkie!!" Twilight shouted looking through the pile.
They suddenly saw a pink blob exit a nearby pile, Pinkie was moaning
"Uhhh.. I don't think I want to have a party for a long time."
Twilight happily ran towards pinkie and embraced her in a hug.
"Twilight.. Do you have any crystals.. I need crystals."
Celestia came over and touched Pinkie with her horn, causing a flash and turning Pinkie back to normal.
Pinkie's hair went back to being it's normal poof, and she herself was back to normal.
"Woweee!! Did I miss anything?!?"
Everypony laughed. But, there laughter was short lived as a another figure showed itself.. Discord.
"NOOOO!! I WAS SO CLOSE!!! CURSE YOU WALTER AND JESSE!! WE COULD HAVE TAKEN OVER PONYVILLE!! WE COULD HAVE RULED ALL OF EQUESTRIA!!!"
The Mane 6 donned their elements of harmony and shot a blast at Discord. "AHHHH!!" Discord screamed as the blast hit him and turned him to stone.
The Mane 6 cheered as Discord was defeated and peace and harmony returned to Equestria.
Walter congratulated them. "Way to go everyone."
Jesse said sarcastically. "Yeah way to go.. Now how do we get home?"
Celestia smiled at them. "I can take you home Jesse and Walter, Discord isn't the only one who can open dimensions to different worlds. Only, when you leave you will forget everything that happened here and will go back to your regular lives."
Jesse snorted. "You mean as TV show characters?"
Celestia frowned a little. "Life is the movie you see through your own unique eyes. It makes little difference what's happening out there. It's how you take it that counts."
Jesse nodded in acknowledgement. "Well.. I guess it won't matter since we won't remember anything."
Walter nodded an acknowledgement to Jesse.
Applejack went up to Walter with a sad look on her face. "Sorry for being mean to y'all.. Y'all did a great thing helping us defeat Discord.. But, is it ok if you can promise me somethin?"
Walter asked "What is it Applejack?"
Applejack looked at Walter with a pleading look. "Can y'all never make that horrible stuff again?"
Hank cut in. "Whoa. Walter what does she mean-"
Jesse quickly hit Hank over the head knocking him out cold. Everpony looked at him.
"What! He'll be fine when we go back to our dimension! Jesus." Jesse said
Walter thought about what Applejack said. He was looking down thinking hard. He suddenly turned to Celestia.
"Is is ok if I can write something down to take with me?"
Celestia smiled. "Sure."
Walter scribbled on a piece of paper for what seemed like ages..
Walter looked up from the paper, folded it, and put it in his pocket.
"There.. I wrote down a note telling me to quit making meth and to spend time with my family." Walter smiled at Applejack
Applejack embraced Walter in a hug, tears coming down her eyes.
"I'm going to miss you."
Rainbow Dash went up to Jesse. "Hey... I just wanted to say that I'm really happy for you coming here and.. I'm really going to miss you and-"
At that moment Jesse pulled Rainbow Dash in and kissed her.
Walter took out the paper again and wrote something else down.
"I'll miss you too muffin ass." Rainbow Dash's face turned red and tears started streaming down her face as she embraced Jesse in a hug.
As Celestia pulled open the portal to the Breaking Bad universe, the mane 6 waved and said their goodbyes.
"Goodbye." Fluttershy said quietly
"Ta Ta." Rarity said
"Goodbye Walter and Jesse." Twilight waved
Rainbow Dash with tears streaming down her face said. "Jesse, I love you and I'll always be with you."
Jesse looked back with tears streaming down his eyes. "I love you too Rainbow, and I'll be with you too."
Applejack waved with her eyes teary. "Walter, remember to be a good person. Tell your family the truth and be a good person."
Walter smiled and waved back. "I will I promise."
Suddenly he realized something. "Oops almost forgot." He emptied out his pockets and gave the crystals to Celestia.
"Wouldn't want to go back home with those." He joked.
Celestia chuckled and warped the crystals out of existence.
Walter, Jesse, and the passed out Hank went through the portal, Celestia warped their vehicles with them and the portal shut behind them forever.
==================================================================================
Epilogue
Many, Many ponies were sent to Pony rehab. It took weeks and weeks, some even months before everypony was back to normal again. As soon as everypony was better again, things went back to normal in ponyville.
However in another world.
Jesse and Walter woke up in the RV.
"Hey.." Jesse moaned burning up in the heat of the RV. "Can you start the RV?"
Walter put the key in the ignition and it hummed to life. They suddenly smiled and yelled "YEESSS.." Jesse added a "Thank God."
Walter felt into his jacket pocket and pulled out a piece of paper, he read it and suddenly went to the back of the RV.
"Hey. What's up man?" Jesse asked.
"Oh it's nothing.. Just a paper my wife gave me to remind me what I needed to get done today."
Jesse smiled "Wowwww.. That's pretty sad when your wife gets into your business like that. That's why I don't deal in relationships."
Walter ignored him and read the piece of paper.
Dear Walter.
Tuco is dead and you have nothing to worry about, Inside this piece of folded paper is a new kind of substance.
It's 10x more addicting than meth and it comes in the form of candy. It's virtually never been seen before
and is untraceable by cops. You could walk into the middle of the street with this stuff and not be caught.
Here is the formula and sample
[unintelligible]
Mass produce this and sell it.. This is your chance, take it.
Sincerely, A friend
P.S. Jesse likes to make out with My Little Pony characters. What a Fag :)
The End
