Chapters Torah Ponies: A Tale of Exegesis, Magic, and The Moon
Chapter 1: The Talmud Never Covered This!
March 13, 2020:
A lot of things changed for me on this day. The world shut down from a virus, people began to drop dead on the street, and I got kidnapped by a moon goddess to become her attendant.
Okay, am I going too fast? Probably. Let’s start at the beginning.
Everything for the first 16 years of my life was rather normal, well as normal as going up a Litvak Jew can be. Since I could walk, my parents put me in Yeshiva to study the Torah and its respective commentaries. In fact, I did so well in this regard that I was considered a prodigy, coming up with a new exegetical analysis in regard to the Talmud. My Rabbis were thrilled at my abilities in Talmudic insight and were sure to posit the most difficult questions. I answered Shailos for my friends about the most random things, ranging from whether their backyards were in private or public domains, if their Phylacteries were still kosher, and if the town Eruv was still intact. I got used to this dreariness, but it was a bit annoying at times. I just wanted to expound on commentaries and go to my Rabbi’s shiurim.
I had heard that there was this new virus that originated in China, and the country closed down. Regardless, I was not worried, since G-d would always look after His people. A few days before March 13th was the holiday of Purim, which commemorates the Jews’ salvation from genocide in ancient Persia by the wicked Haman. The holiday was always a period of gaiety in my community, with lots of delicious food, the occasional drinks, and communal togetherness. Even more enjoyable when dressed in costume, which is customary on that day. Anyways, I was still a bit stuffed from my mother’s potato kugel that she made for the Purim Seudah, and I saw on the news that a stay-at-home order was being put in place for an indefinite period of time, to prevent the propagation of the novel coronavirus.
“Are you kidding me? This has to be some kind of elaborate joke! Pesach is less than a month away, and if this order is still in place, we might not be able to have a Seder with the family. What chutzpah!” My mother says on the phone with my aunt.
“Noah, are you busy with something? I need you to help me bring in the groceries!” My sister said from the doorway. I always had time to help my sister with stuff. She is amazing and is always there for me.
“Coming, just need to save my document and-”. I really was going to come downstairs and unload the groceries from the family minivan, but I could have sworn that I saw the strangest thing in our driveway. Now, what was this insane sight, an affront to Nature itself?
It was a horse, and not just any horse. It had wings and a horn, and looked sapient. It’s cosmic black mane glistening in the rain, showing vibrant shades of dark purple.
“Hold on, sis, come upstairs. I could have sworn that I saw the strangest thing. Look out my window. Come quick! It could disappear any second.” I yelled down the stairs. She quickly ran up the stairs, almost tripping on her skirt.
“Holy cow. I have never seen anything like that!” My sister said, taking a photo of the sight on her phone.
Then, to make things even more interesting, it disappeared from view, slowly fading from the driveway, like it was turning invisible. I wondered where it went?
“I have no idea what that was? Could it be a Nevuah, Noah? My sister asks me, totally baffled at the sight we both witnessed.
“Beats me, I have no idea. Maybe we are both tired. Did you actually take a picture of that thing?” I asked my sister, who quickly opened up her phone, showing me the picture. I took a screenshot of it and sent it to my laptop.
“I’ll help with the groceries in a minute. I got to figure out what the hell I just saw. I need 10 minutes, does that work with you?” I asked my sister, who just nodded. I put the picture on my desktop and did a quick reverse image search on TinEye. Maybe the internet has an answer for something that I don’t.
Millions of results came up, showing this key phrase:
Nightmare Moon: My Little Pony
I literally burst out into laughter. Is this some sort of elaborate joke? Why would something fake, invented for little girls, be in front of my driveway? Maybe I had a bit too much whiskey over Purim.
“This is the stupidest thing I have ever seen, even more than the argument about the egg laid on a festival in Beitza.” I said to myself.
It was about to get rather real. Something behind me covered my face, knocking my yarmulke off. I didn’t know who or what it was, but they must have put chloroform on the towel since I began to fall asleep.
“Alright, Noah. Sleep well. I promise I will not hurt you.” Said a regal voice. I didn’t see who said it, but I fell asleep shortly after.
I have no idea how long I was asleep, but when I woke up, I noticed something was incredibly odd. I didn’t have hands anymore. I had hooves?
I got out of the bed, which I do have to admit was rather comfy, and walked around, before realizing that I was on all fours. “What the hell is going on? This has to be some kind of elaborate joke. I might be dreaming? I mean, Jacob saw angels climbing up and down a ladder, so this isn’t so crazy.” I said to myself, looking for a bathroom. I needed to see what I actually looked like.
When I finally found a mirror, I saw that I was still the same height that I usually am, but I was a pony? I had cyan blue and white features, and a Star of David, and a Torah Scroll on my hindquarters. Was this a tattoo? That was so weird. I never saw anything like this in my life. And, if I wasn’t totally crazy, I saw a horn on my forehead.
“Ribbono Shel Olam” I pray silently. “What is going on? Why am I a monster?” I ask myself. I heard a knock on the door, and for some reason, my mind instinctively opened the door.
“What. The. Hell? Did I just open the door with my mind?” I ask myself out loud. I see that same mare from before, the one in front of my driveway, giggling to herself.
“Ah, if it isn’t Noah the Hebrew. I heard many pleasant things about your race over the years. I had to make sure to select the best and brightest for my mission. I need top-tier intellect for what I am planning.”
“Who are you, and what do you want with me?” I say, not knowing who this being is. Could it be an Angel of G-d? ‘Anything is possible now.’ I think to myself,
“And what do you want for this mission?” I ask her rhetorically, in the typical Talmudic fashion.
“Nothing more than the conquest of Equestria, silly! I just need someone smart to help me.”
“This is going to get really weird.” I say to myself.
How right I was.
Author's Note
GLOSSARY:
Litvak Jew: Lithuanian Jews or Litvaks are Jews with roots in the territory of the former Grand Duchy of Lithuania, split among the present-day Lithuania, Belarus, Latvia, northeastern Suwałki and Białystok region of Poland, as well as some border areas of Russia and Ukraine.
Yeshiva: Jewish seminary, meant for the study of Jewish texts.
Shailos: questions on Jewish legal matters.
Eruv: tiny wire around the perimeter of a city that allows for Observant Jews to carry items on the Sabbath or Festivals
Shiur (Shiurim pl.) lectures on Jewish matters given by Torah scholars, Rabbis, or other notable figures.
Seudah: Lit feast in Hebrew. Refers to festive meals around the year.
Pesach: Passover, the Jewish holiday commemorating the Exodus from Egypt.
Rashi: Rabbi Shlomo Yitzchaki lived in Troyes, France during the 11th century. He wrote commentary on the entire Old Testament and the Talmud. Widely considered to be the foremost scholar in Jewish history.
Nevuah: Hebrew for Prophecy.
Ribbono Shel Olam: Lit Master of the Universe. A common refrain in supplemental prayers.
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Torah Ponies: A Tale of Exegesis, Magic, and The Moon
Chapter 2: Good Thing Jews Use A Lunar Calendar!
Before I even began to consider why I am here, I had a bunch of questions floating around in my head: 1) Am I dreaming? 2) If I am not dreaming, is this some sort of elaborate prank? 3) Am I dead, and in the depths of Sheol?
Anyways, I have the audacity, so I begin asking questions.
“Where am I, and why did you kidnap me?” I asked the strange creature. “Obviously, I know I am on a moon of some sort, since you yourself said so, and the gravity here seems off. But what star system? Are we even in the same universe? Why me? Why out of literally 8 billion people and 18 million Jews you pick some 16-year-old kid from Monsey, NY? I don’t get it.” I was going to ask her more questions, but she put her hoof over my mouth, urging me to shut up.
“Look, Noah. You might be scared, and that’s fine. I get it, but I have incredibly important stuff to do, and I need your help. I will try and answer your questions now, but you need to calm down, okay?” Luna says in a very maternal voice.
“You are in a different universe, governed by different laws of physics, magic, etc. If you are contemplating whether your beloved deity Elohim is but a fiction, worry not, He is real but governs YOUR reality, not this one. In this reality, there are multiple deities, namely me and my sister.”
Multiple gods? Talk about Avoda Zara!
“Here’s the 411, kid. 1000 years ago, I asked for too much power, and my sister Celestia banished me to our planet’s moon. What is quite odd is that time in your universe flows differently, so my millennium away from Equestria translates to some 3500 years on Earth. After a few decades of being trapped on this planet’s moon, I discovered a method of traveling between realities. I came across your planet by accident, and was quite intrigued by your Hebrew race.” Luna says, projecting images of her past life events on the wall of her lunar citadel.
“Wait a minute. 3500 years ago? That was back during the time of-.”
“Yes, dear, Abraham was a very smart man who discovered the natural laws of his reality, and the one Deity controlling it. It was incredibly brilliant of him. We spent many years discussing theology together, and I helped him calculate the months using your moon. I do have a specialty in moons, you know!” Luna says, laughing.
If she actually spent time with Abraham, the first Jew, how far down does this rabbit hole go?
“Hold on, if you spent time with Abraham, how much of my people’s history have you observed?” I asked the alicorn, who seemed more patient than before.
“Well, all of it! From Jacobs’ 70 descendants going to Egypt, all the way to 1967 CE. For some reason, the connection to your reality severed then, and I only managed to come back in 2003 CE, when you were born, dear!”
“I am so confused, Luna. Did you spend time with my ancestors? Like, all of them?” I asked her.
“No, around the 6th Century CE, when that Ishmaelite came along and modified your tradition, I stopped visiting physically, and only interacted in dreams. I can access the dreamscape. In fact, I am pretty sure I gave very important magical information to the Maharal of Prague, and helped him build the Golem, protecting your people from evildoers.”
Wait a minute, the Golem of Prague?!?! This is getting really interesting, really fast. I wonder if she knows Kabbalah? Anyways, Maimonides says not to touch that stuff until you are 30 years of age. I was only 16 at the time of my abduction.
“I have to admit, I spent a fair amount of time with a bunch of different races on Earth, and your people are the most resilient I have seen. They have been pushed to the brink and always managed to come back. I am so sorry for what happened to them a generation or two ago. I pray it never happens again.” Luna says solemnly, thinking about what she saw in those poor children’s dreams in the camps.
“If it comes as any consolation to you, I transferred all of your spell books from your house to my citadel, so you have all the reading that you want during your stay here.” Luna says, using magic from her horn to bring literally every tome I own at home to my new room/prison cell.
“Spellbooks? Those aren’t spellbooks, they are Torah commentaries! What are you talking abou-” Luna puts her hoof on my mouth again, like a patient teacher trying to explain things to her student.
“I must say, from what I have heard, your race is quite adept at magic. Think about literally anyone notable from your people’s history! I am surprised you don’t see the connections in the Hebrew letters, dear.” Luna says, opening my copy of Tractate Shabbat, 33b, reminding me of the story of Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai, who hid in a cave for 13 years with his son, learning the most esoteric secrets of the universe.
Damn, this Luna mare is good! I didn’t even think of this.
“I know your recent lineage is more legalistic in its approach, and that is fine. I just need you to diversify a little bit, if you know what I mean. That is why I turned you into a unicorn, Noah; so you can harness the magic from your tradition to help me.”
I get a bit bold in my next question. “What’s in it for me, then? I help you take over this planet that I have never been to, and for what? Do I get to go ho-’. A rather horrifying thought enters my mind. One I didn’t want to accept, but one I HAD to ask. “D-did you erase my family’s memory of me?”
“Yes, I had no choice but to do that. They would have been worried sick if you were gone.’
“Uh, yeah, why?” I replied.
“Well, the Vilna Gaon, as you must know, was a once in a millenium sage. One of the smartest humans I have ever encountered, I must admit. He wrote a treatise on certain Kabbalistic formulae that would be quite useful for me, and they are encoded in your family’s Torah books. I need a smart kid like you to help me decode them.”
Interesting. I thought the Vilna Gaon was one of the Misnagim, or opponents to Hasidic Jewry. I guess you always have more to learn, and a talking magical pony can teach you stuff.
“In return for your assistance in this matter, I can help your people rebuild their temple in Jerusalem.” Luna said, noticing that I smiled at that comment.
My people have not had a central temple of worship since 70 CE, when the Romans destroyed it out of spite, although the Rabbis of the Talmud have many opinions on why it was destroyed.
“I guess we have a deal, then!” I say, reaching out my front right hoof to “shake hands” on this agreement. Nightmare Moon does the same, and we shake on it. As soon as I touched her hoof, I felt a massive surge of power, and I felt amazing.
“Congrats, Noah. You are immortal now. I can’t have you die on me while you help me decode stuff, now can I?” Luna says, laughing.
“You know, you might not be that bad, especially if you keep your promise and return me to my universe when this is all over.” I reply, with Luna just nodding in approval.
Meanwhile, while all of this was happening on the moon, and I was busy trying to find codes inside my entire corpus of text, another alicorn princess was writing a letter to a certain unicorn, advising her to move to Ponyville and try to make friends.
“Hm. 1000 years are almost up. I think that Twilight could be the one to do this. At least I have a good feeling about this.” The other alicorn says, sending the scroll to Twilight.
“Uh, Princess Celestia. We might have a problem.” Said a royal guard, bursting into Celestia’s private study.
“It seems your sister, Princess Luna, found a teenager from that other universe you two used to go to, and made him her pupil. With all due respect to Her Majesty, I have a bad feeling about this.’ The guard says.
“Oh dear. I hope she doesn’t make the poor thing like her. I wonder what the child is like…” Celestia thought to herself.
Author's Note
GLOSSARY:
Sheol: One layer of the Jewish underworld, often misattributed to Hades
Elohim: one of the many names of G-d (the G-d of the three major monotheistic faiths)
Avoda Zara: Idol Worship (or anything antithetical to traditional Jewish values)
Maharal of Prague: Famous Czech Rabbi, most well known for the fable of the Prague Golem, which legend says still exists in the basement (or attic) of the Prague synagogue
Golem: an animated anthropomorphic being in Jewish folklore that is entirely created from inanimate matter (usually clay or mud). ... It can be a victim or villain, Jew or non-Jew, man or woman—or sometimes both.
Kabbalah: Jewish Mystical tradition. Jews are traditionally advised not to study this until they master the basics, lest they go insane
Maimonides: Famous Jewish Rabbi, physician, and philosopher who lived in the 12th century
Rabbi Shimon Bar Yochai: Famous 2nd century mystic, rabbi, and sage. The Zohar, the key text of Kabbalah, is accredited to him. According to legend, he lived in a cave for 13 years with his son, learning the secrets of the universe
Vilna Gaon: (Elijah ben Solomon Zalman) was a Lithuanian Rabbi, scholar, and mystic. He was the leader of Misnagdic Jewry (Non-Hasidim) in Lithuania during the 18th century
Talmud: The main code of Jewish law, folklore, and legend. Considered to be the oral tradition tied in with the Written Torah (Pentateuch)
Torah Ponies: A Tale of Exegesis, Magic, and The Moon
Chapter 3: Making a Golem
This entire situation is rather strange. I am on the moon, with an alicorn princess, who claims to have interacted with my people for millennia. At least she brought me my reading material.
“Random question, Luna. Do you have any idea how a unicorn is supposed to put on Tefillin?” I remembered that it must be morning and I have my morning prayers.
“I had a feeling you would ask that. Worry not, Noah. I made sure to bring all of your ritual artifacts to my lunar palace. I assure you that you can exercise your faith tradition fully during your stay here. I am just as accommodating, if not more so than my sister. If I might add, your prayers are quite beautiful and poetic.” she adds, pointing her hoof towards my bag containing my phylacteries.
“If you need any more incentive to work with me, Celestia also spent some time on Earth, out of sheer boredom, not exile, and was worshipped by the Babylonians, Greeks, and Romans as a sun deity. I do believe these three civilizations have a complicated history with your race, do they not?” Luna asks rhetorically, knowing full well what they did throughout Jewish history.
I nod, but I have other concerns on my mind. “I wonder if I can put my tefillin on with telekinesis?” I think to mys-. “WHOA!” My bag actually opens, and the two leather boxes containing sacred writings float out of the bag,
“I see you have taken a quick grasp of elementary magic, Noah. I am very impressed.” Nightmare Moon says, with a grin. I check to make sure my yarmulke is still on, and I think Luna put it back on. I make the proper benedictions and put on the phylacteries, making sure the one resting on my head has its knot touching the occipital bone on my neck.
I make sure to add additional requests in my prayers that Luna doesn’t hurt me, and that she is truly as benevolent as she seems. Taking around 90 minutes to finish my prayers, I put all of my ritual items away.
“Okay, Noah. Now that you have finished your prayers, I need your help with something. Are you familiar with the ancient text the Sefer Yetzirah?” Nightmare Moon asks me, using her magic to send a book towards me.
I have heard of that book before, and that it is traditionally attributed to Abraham himself. It discusses creation, man’s relation with G-d, and how Man can emulate this.
“Actually, I’m not. What is it?” I ask her.
“Well, it is a good place for a smart colt like you to start in Jewish Mysticism. I need you to try and figure out how to make a Golem. Obviously, this won’t be the Golem I will use to conquer Equestria, but it will be a good place to practice. When I gave you immortality, Noah, I made it so you can survive in the vacuum of space as well. I need you to get some lunar rocks to use as the base for your Golem. Can you do this?” Nightmare Moon asks me. Well, I have no choice in the matter, so I go outside, and to my amazement, I can breathe normally. “Let’s go make a golem, then!” I say to myself.
From the quick reading in the Sefer Yetzirah that I did before going on the moon (yeah, it’s crazy, I am on the MOON!), combined with the footnotes of my ancestor the Vilna Gaon, it seems that I need to collect virgin soil, as in material not touched by human (or in this case, equine) hands. I need to know what kind of golem I am going to make. Am I going to make one that looks like a regular person, or a pony? I am so confused right now. Anyways, I am glad I brought a shovel with me, and I started digging for enough lunar rocks to make a golem.
CANTERLOT: EQUESTRIA
As I was off trying to make a golem, Princess Celestia was in a cold, subdued frenzy, trying to figure out what exactly is happening on the moon. “Did my sister really kidnap a human boy? ” Celestia questions the guard.
“I don’t know, ma’am. I am just reporting what I know, that’s all. ” The guard says, nervous about this unknown side of Celestia.
“You were right to have reported this to me. I am not cross with you, only with Luna. You are dismissed.” Celestia says to the colt. He salutes and leaves the room.
Now, the real problem begins. Who is this human she abducted and is he compromised yet? Celestia then did something drastic. She usually doesn’t teleport ponies away from what they are doing without warning, but she needs another opinion on this matter. She then decides to summon her prized pupil, Twilight Sparkle.
“Huh-? wha-? PRINCESS CELESTIA! I thought we both agreed to not spontaneously teleport me anymore!”
“That is true, Twilight, but these are extenuating circumstances. I know I just wrote you a letter advising you to go to Ponyville and make friends, but we might have to delay that for a moment. I apologize for the inconvenience.”
Twilight looks at her teacher in confusion. “Well, what could be so urgent that it interferes with the mission to stop Nightmare Moon?” She asks Celestia, who frowns.
“Well, as you might be aware by now, the Mare in the Moon myth that you have heard since you were a foal is more than a myth, it is true. Nightmare Moon is returning, in a rather short time, in fact. She wants to remake Equestria in her own image, ruling over a kingdom in eternal night. It has come to my attention that Nightmare Moon abducted a child from another universe to be her ward.”
“What?! That’s insane! Wait, did you say that there are more universes?!? Maybe magic exists there too? Can we go visit? I wonder if the food is any good, and-” Celestia hushed her student.
“Yes, other universes exist, Twilight, but the issue is that a child was kidnapped! I need a second pony to help me figure out who this child is, and what they are capable of. Can I trust you with this?” Celestia asks her student, who nods in agreement.
“Perfect. Here is a book about the most likely universe this kid came from.”
“Okay, time to read!” Twilight says, beginning to look at what this “Earth” has in store for her.
EQUESTRIA’S MOON:
After digging what I believe to be enough lunar material, I return to the lunar palace and show Nightmare Moon my findings. “I think I brought enough lunar material to make a practice golem. Does this work for you?” I ask my new boss, who nods in approval.
Hold on, is Luna planning on killing innocent creatures? “Are you going to kill anyone?” I ask, defiant but also a bit nervous.
Oh boy , this is getting serious. To create a golem, one needs to recite several names of G-d the way they are actually pronounced. For example, when a Jew normally prays, the name of G-d is replaced with the term “Adonai”, which literally means, ‘My Master’, rather than speak the holy names of G-d. To make things even more complicated, the names are often cryptic, with individual letters being hidden within acrostic poetry or other words.
There are a few key names, such as the Tetragrammaton (YHVH), Elohim, El-Shaddai, etc. I picked a few and began sculpting the golem. I decided to make the practice golem small, around the size of a house pet, although I will admit, I am not the best artisan. My golem looked like a play-dough action figure made by a 5-year-old. It certainly didn’t help that now that I am a unicorn, I don’t have opposable thumbs!
“Ah, Noah. I see you finished sculpting your golem. Excellent job! Now, try and animate it. I have faith in you, as I have had in your race for millenia.” Nightmare Moon says, watching studiously as I try to animate the golem. I was very careful to pronounce the names of G-d correctly, lest I say a name in vain. The ritual itself was rather tedious, especially the final part, where I was to write the word “אֶמֶת” (truth) into the golem’s forehead. This activated the golem, sending a massive wave of energy pulsating across the castle foyer. It began to grow hair, fingernails, and even had eyes that were the color of the lunar surface.
“My, Noah. I am truly impressed. You created life, my boy. Not many unicorns, or humans for that matter, have successfully imitated their Creator. You are truly gifted.” Nightmare Moon says, giving a nod of approval.
“So, what do you want my golem to do? I can have it clean up the palace, or kill spiders. I mean, it’s rather small, so it can’t be a weapon of good use.” I say, waiting to see what my new boss has to say for herself.
“Umm, maybe stack books or something? Just to see if it actually works. Animating it is only one step. You also have to instruct it. I must warn you, when I helped the Maharal of Prague with his golem, it took every command literally, and almost killed its creator.” she replies cautiously.
“Okay, so I just need to be very specific with my instructions, then?”
She nods.
“Okay then, Mr. Golem. I want you to put away every book in this palace in alphabetical order.”
The golem stood up and began to walk over to the palace library, where the books were in complete disarray. With superhuman speed and agility, the golem put away every single book in alphabetical order, and then returned to the foyer where we were standing.
“Excellent, now shut down.” I command the golem. It obeys, and becomes lifeless, like the lunar statuette that it is.
“Very good, my dear. I’d say you earned a break. I relieve you of duty for the rest of the day. Perhaps we can catch up a bit, and I can get to know my new recruit better?” Luna says, embracing me with her wing. I follow her to her throne room, and she conjures a desk, where the two of us can sit down and have a conversation.
“Well, Noah, I know a bit about you, since I have been watching your dreams for years, but not enough. Tell me about yourself.” Luna asks me, in a maternal manner.
“Well, I could ask the same about you! I know nothing about you. But sure, I’ll entertain this thread.” I say.
We discuss many things over the next few hours, ranging from theology, to tradition, and even food! “I have taken a liking to you, Noah. I can see why my idiot sister always had a pupil with her. She needs company, and you see a little bit of yourself in them, too.” Luna says, with a smile. Okay then, that’s nice, I guess? “Tomorrow is when the real work begins. We need to find legal recourse to actually have grounds to invade! I assume your knowledge of the Talmud can help with this. Law codes are the same!
Huh, legal grounds for a coup. A new thing to add on my CV, I guess?
Author's Note
GLOSSARY:
Tefillin: Lit Phylacteries. Two boxes containing sacred writings that Observant Jews wear during morning prayers. one goes on the arm, and one on the head.
Tetragrammaton: The Ineffable four letter name of G-d. Jews do not pronounce this name as written but replace it with the honorific ADONAI, or my master.
“אֶמֶת”: Truth in Hebrew
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Torah Ponies: A Tale of Exegesis, Magic, and The Moon
Chapter 4: Luna: Ambassador of the Jewish People
My conversation with my new boss takes up a fair amount of the day. Truth be told, being on the moon makes it very hard to keep track of the time, and it’s not like ponies wear watches or anything. I had to keep turning my head around to see the location of the sun, just to be sure I was on track with my work.
“Everything alright, dear?” Luna asks me, concerned that I am considering defecting her position.
“Yes, Luna. I just lost track of the time, and it would be nice to have a watch or something. I was looking at the sun to figure out what time it is.” I reply, to which Luna blinks, emitting light from her horn. I feel something on my front left hoof.
I actually did want to know more, but I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to be doing any more work on our plan of taking over Equestria. “Don’t you want to know about Din Rodef, and how that could be used to usurp Celestia’s position?” I ask Luna, who just looks at me dead in the eye and smiles.
“Yes, I know about that law in Sanhedrin 73a. It could be a good avenue for our plans. Very clever of you, my boy! I just want to get to know you a bit first before we go crazy with plotting a coup. I mean, I have known many of your race’s smartest men and women, but I have never gone as far to take a pupil before. Would you like to know why?” Luna asks me rhetorically since she probably would tell me anyways.
“Sure, boss. I don’t see why not.” I say, imagining that I have a warm cup of tea at my disposal. To my surprise, I am holding a cup of lemon tea in my hooves.
“Ah, I see you have quickly learned matter manipulation. Impressive! Most unicorns take years to hone this ability. You are a natural!” Luna says, before projecting a map of Earth on the wall of her lunar citadel, with pinpoints in key locations on Earth.
“Anyways, I have always been a different pony. You see, my sister Celestia wanted to be worshipped like a god, and made sure that everyone in Equestria treated her as such. She was tasked with raising the sun, and I was given the moon. No one appreciated the peace and tranquility that the night brings, and only wanted to spend time in the day. I felt insulted, and I asked my sister, nicely at first, if I could be treated with more respect. Her ego got the better of her, and she told me to leave. I was furious!” Luna says, her voice a bit more raspy than usual.
“I was so mad that I refused to lower the moon when the day was to begin. Naturally, this pissed off my sister, and we fought. She used these cursed artifacts called the Elements of Harmony to banish me to the moon for 1000 years. I just wanted respect! Now, here’s where things get interesting for you, Noah. Your race has had a rather similar trajectory. Humiliation and suffering for the audacity to be different, and to want to live their own lives. Combined with their dedication to their history, tradition, and knowledge, the Hebrews have done quite well for themselves. Naturally, when Celestia wanted to take a vacation to Earth while I was just figuring out how to travel there, she let her megalomania get the better of her, and was worshipped as a god on Earth as well, think Shamash in Mesopotamia, and Helios in Greece. They didn’t realize she was a female and depicted her as a male warrior. Celestia didn’t care much, as long as they paid tribute.” Nightmare Moon sighed, took a minute to compose herself, and continued to explain her alleged relation to my people.
“I actually wanted to confront Celestia in Ur, Chaldea about this, where I met Abraham by chance. He was the least fazed by meeting a talking magical alicor, and respected me for who I am. He invited me into his tent and fed me some delicious food! That pita bread was marvelous! He explained to me that he was mad that his family worshipped silly idols and that he discovered a more important metaphysical presence in the universe.”
“Elohim!” I say, remembering my Creator.
“Bingo, Noah! I actually sensed this presence myself but did not want to make a fuss in a different reality. I did, however, tell Abraham about Equestria, and the danger my sister poses to both realities. He quickly took a hammer and ran to his father’s idol shop, breaking every idol his father owned, including plenty of my sister’s image. This really made Celestia mad, so she appeared to the king of that settlement to have him thrown into a furnace. I acted brazenly and used some of my magic to save his life, making him immune to fire during his time in the fiery pit. The king thought his brother used magic to save him and threw him inside the pit. Sadly, I couldn’t save him in time. Abraham was amazed that I took the time to save his life, and I also made a deal with him. I would always watch over and protect his progeny, since he stood up to my sister and her ego. In return, Abraham would promise to always follow his tradition of belief in Elohim, and fight idol worship. I don’t want to be worshipped, Noah, just respected. There is a fine line.”
“Okay, that is a nice version of Bereshis Rabba 38, with the Nimrod and the Furnace, but what does that have to do with picking me as your pupil?” I ask Nightmare Moon, who just takes a minute to let this information get processed.
“Well, it’s funny you asked that. I had to wait for human civilization to progress enough that the concepts of magic could be understood by humans. Your Hebrew people were very quick to catch onto the occult, and made sure that only the most learned could access it, lest they go insane. I had to find the right candidate to make my pupil, and I also had to wait until the 1000 Equestrian years came to a close. We are only 18 Earth months away from the end of my sentence, so it’s not like I could time travel or anything to cherry pick my favorite Hebrews!” Luna says, laughing.
“Hold on. If you were always watching my people, where the hell were you during the Shoah?!” I ask, quickly realizing that she could have used magic to save millions of innocent lives.
“I am quite powerful, but not omnipotent. I can’t just wish away everything bad in the world. Besides, Celestia was helping the Axis powers anyways, since Hitler was a big fan of hers.” Luna says, disgusted at the thought of her sister working with such scum of the Earth.
“Well, you could’ve just told me that when you “selected” me, and I would have signed up without a fight!” I say, eager to exact revenge on behalf of my fallen brethren in Europe.
“I had to accustom you slowly, Noah! Too much all at once would have sent a poor colt like you into shock. Hey. I have an idea!” Luna said, quickly teleporting both of us to the lunar surface.
“I have tested your mental capabilities quite well, but you need to be well rounded, Noah. I challenge you to single combat, dear. Don’t hold back! I won’t be!” Luna says, beginning to power up, with a cosmic purple aura surrounding her.
Wait, did she just say I need to fight her? I put my tea down, and take a minute to compose myself.
“Woah, woah! Hold on. I have never fought anyone in my life. You are probably going to kick my ass. How do I even have a chance?” I ask Luna, who is in a fighting stance.
“I turned you into a unicorn. That means you have magic. Figure it out. Good luck!” Luna says, charging at me full speed, with her wings aimed at me like razor blades.
I begin to pray, “Master of the Universe, give me the strength to hold my own in this fight. I don’t want to die. If what Nightmare Moon says is true, you have every reason to help me prepare for this coming conflict in 18 months. Give me the strength of the heroes of Israel.”
“Like a prayer to your Elohim will help you, Noah. I know He is real, but He only helps those who help themselves!” Luna says, inches away from my body, eager to attack.
I don’t know how, or why, but I managed to power up myself, with a cyan aura, crackling with electricity forming around me. I backflip, avoiding the attack, grabbing Nightmare Moon’s left wing, throwing her to the floor.
“Woah! Where did you learn that?” Luna asks me, as I try to charge some sort of magical attack.
“Too late, kid!” Nightmare Moon says, using her telekinesis to hold me in place while charging a lunar beam.
“I hope I can get myself out of this one. I need to be like King David right now, fighting the mighty Goliath.” I say to myself, trying uselessly to escape her telepathic grasp.
Author's Note
AUTHOR’S NOTE: GLOSSARY:
Sanhedrin: Tractate in the Babylonian Talmud; also the Supreme Court of Jewish Law in the time of the Temple.
Din Rodef: A concept in Jewish law, which argues that one who is "pursuing" another to murder him or her. Such a person must be killed by any bystander after being warned to stop and refusing. In the case of Nightmare Moon and Princess Celestia, Celestia’s megalomania, combined with Luna’s plea to stop and leave her alone calls for this extrajudicial murder to be sanctioned.
Bereshis Rabba: Homiletic interpretation of the Book of Genesis. The story of Abraham breaking the idols, being sent in the furnace, and being saved by G-d is in this book (Bereshis Rabba, 38).
Shoah: Hebrew term for the Holocaust.
Torah Ponies: A Tale of Exegesis, Magic, and The Moon
Chapter 5: Twilight Learns Some History
I am currently stuck on the moon in a telepathic hold, and I have no idea how to get out of it. Luna is almost done charging her attack.
“I am giving you 10 seconds, Noah. If you can get out of this, you will be safe. If you can’t, well, I hope we don’t come to that!” Nightmare Moon says, laughing.
10 seconds, huh? I have gotta think of something really quickly! I tried using my magic again, to no avail. I vaguely remember reading about a Kabbalistic formula that allows for teleportation, so I recited it, and I tried to teleport outside of Nightmare Moon’s range.
“Huh, where did you go, love?” Nightmare Moon says, realizing that nobody was in her hold.
“Over here, boss!” I say, trying to catch my breath.
“Ah, very good, child. I am quite pleased with your progress. Our bout is over, for now. Fear not.” Luna says, dissolving her attack.
“Okay, so what do we do now?” I ask Nightmare Moon, who just laughs.
“Remember that thing you told me about with Din Rodef earlier? Elaborate on that, Noah.” Luna says, using magic from her horn to teleport the both of us back to her lunar citadel.
“Well, it’s in Sanhedrin,” I say, summoning that volume of the Talmud from my chambers.
CANTERLOT: EQUESTRIA
While I was fighting Nightmare Moon on the lunar surface, Twilight Sparkle spent the past few hours doing some reading about Earth, trying to figure out why Luna wanted to kidnap someone from Earth, and where they could have been abducted from.
“Princess Celestia, I have a question,” Twilight asks her teacher. Celestia walks over to Twilight and nods. “Yes, Twilight, what is it?” Celestia replies.
“I just wanted to know if you have been to this universe that Nightmare Moon most likely kidnapped this kid from?” Twilight asks her teacher, with her eager thirst for knowledge eager to be quenched.
“Yes, Twilight, I have been to this reality. It is rather primitive in nature, and the people that live there are very dull and spend most of their time doing nonsense.” Celestia said, scoffing at the mere thought. “I went there a few times, and the people there seemed rather obsessed with me, bordering on the insane. I decided it would be best to not go back.” She added.
Twilight looks through a book of different races and cultures that live on Earth and finds a page that piqued her interest.
“Uh, Princess Celestia, What are Hebrews?” Twilight asks, pointing to a picture of a family of humans wearing traditional Hasidic clothing.
“Uhh, Hebrews are a race of humans that invented the idea of there being one God, rather than multiple gods. They are silly people, like all humans.” Celestia said to her student, before realizing that something might be aloof here. “Wait a minute! I just remembered that Luna must have saved that Hebrew man Abraham 3500 earth years ago! She must’ve tired her essence to that man’s progeny, and picked a perfect descendant to be her ward.
“Twilight, I have some bad news. I think we have determined what race Luna abducted this child from. She might not look like it, but my sister has a very complicated relationship with these people and tied her essence to their prime ancestor. She must have picked the ideal progeny from the Hebrew race to be her ward. I don’t know as much about Hebrews as my sister does, but they are very gifted in the occult and use highly advanced magic. I strongly advise caution when encountering one, Twilight.” Celestia says sternly.
“Okay, let me do some more reading about these “Hebrews”, Twilight says, combing through Celestia’s library looking for books more specifically relating to my people. For the next 12 hours, Twilight read nonstop, trying to find any information that could be used to help Princess Celestia defeat her sister and restore harmony to Equestria. One of the more peculiar pieces of information Twilight found pertains to their didactic method of analyzing texts. “Princess Celestia. Why don’t we learn like this? It seems like a more ideal method of conveying and retaining information. These “Hebrews” have been doing this for millennia, and they still seem to be doing just fine.” Twilight asks her teacher, who takes a gander at the page Twilight was looking at.
“Well, the problem is that these people seem to hone this talent on only one book, rather than on everything. No wonder other humans find them silly!” Celestia says to her pupil, who seems unphased by this statement.
“These people are so interesting! They don’t work one day out of seven, they have 613 rules, don’t eat pork and shellfish, and make up a disproportionate amount of Earth’s geniuses. Why do you find them silly, Celestia?” Twilight asks her teacher, confused by her teacher’s potential prejudice towards this particular race of humans.
“Well, I have a complicated relationship with Luna, and anything that can be of use to her is extremely dangerous, even if it is a young teenager. I would strongly advise against contacting this human. Your safety could be at risk!” Celestia warns. Twilight usually is not one to defy orders from anyone, let alone Princess Celestia, but she is so interested in the new knowledge she has acquired over the past 12 hours, that she might do something drastic. “I am going on a field trip, Celestia. I am going to Earth to see these “Hebrews” close up. Maybe I can find some more stuff out about them, teach them the magic of friendship, maybe?” Twilight says, looking for a spell to teleport her to my reality.
EQUESTRIA’S MOON:
“Please, Noah. Call me Luna, or Nightmare Moon. No need for such formalities! I told you that already!” She says, noticing that the Golem woke up again, awaiting new orders.
“Before you tell me your second idea, your Golem woke up and wants orders, Noah. Please tell it what to do.” Luna tells me. I turn around and notice the golem.
“Okay, Mr. Golem, I want you to go to Equestria and survey the area for our conquest!” I command the golem. The golem transforms from its humanoid form into a lunar white pegasus and flies off towards Equestria, eager to survey the area.
“Very clever, as always! I knew I picked the right pupil.” Luna says, complimenting me.
“Anyways, Maimonides further elaborates on the Din Rodef, saying that one who doesn’t kill the pursuer is as if he is the pursuer himself! (Rambam, Hilchot Rotzei’ach 1:6,7)”
“Fascinating, so, basically, you are telling me that we have every legal recourse to instill a coup in Equestria, and not doing so would be as if we were Celestia herself?” Luna asks me, to which I nod in approval.
“Excellent! While we wait for your Golem to come back, I need you to keep working on your esoterica. You’d be surprised how much your Kabbalah tradition has that could be of use to us!” Luna says.
“Well, I know that a person has a body and a soul, so astral projection might be possible? One minute, let me try something!” I say, closing my eyes and trying to meditate for a few minutes. I feel something, possibly my soul, leave my new equine body, and begin to float around the castle foyer.
“Woah! I didn’t know I could do that!” I exclaimed, a bit worried that I could see my own body, meditating there in serenity.
“Indeed you can, Noah. In this state, you can sense more spiritual forces, like Shaidim and Angels. I must warn you, though, that if you remain detached from your body for too long, you will not be able to go back, even though I gave you immortality. I gauge you have around an hour in astral form each time you use it. Use it sparingly, Noah.” Luna says, using magic to put my astral form back into my unicorn body. I open my eyes, and everything seems normal. I can move my hooves again, and my tail. Yep, back in my body, alright.
Luna’s eyes quickly widen, realizing that something must be amiss. “Noah, my love. I sense something odd. It seems my sister must have sent her pupil to your reality to try and learn about your people. I cannot allow this. I will be sending you back, temporarily, to Earth, so you can meet this pupil of hers yourself and mitigate the damages. What is cool about this is that I will be sending you back in human form, but you get to keep your magic! Obviously, you will return, correct?” Luna says, her magic aura emanating from her horn.
“Yeah, sure, I like you anyway, I like smart people or ponies. Friends stick together.” I say as Luna sends a magic beam towards me, enveloping me in lunar energy. I feel my hooves turning back into hands, and my body becoming more bipedal. Noah is back! I look and see if Luna gave me my old clothing, and she did! My tzitzit and blue polo shirt are back, and they are dry cleaned (Luna you give good service)!
When the energy dissipates, I notice that I am not in Monsey, but somewhere else. I am a bit disoriented at first, but I eventually realize where I am.
I am in G-d’s happiest place on Earth: Israel, more specifically, Jerusalem.
“Let’s go find a rebel pupil.” I think to myself, trying to figure out where this student of Celestia might be.
Author's Note
AUTHOR’S NOTE
GLOSSARY:
Shaidim: (Hebrew: שֵׁדִים) are spirits or demons in Jewish mythology. However, they are not necessarily equivalent to the modern connotation of demons as evil entities. Tzitzit: Ritual fringes that Observant Jewish men and boys wear.
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Torah Ponies: A Tale of Exegesis, Magic, and The Moon
Chapter 6: Meeting Twilight in the Holy Land
After quickly realizing that I was in Israel, I felt a sense of relief. At least I was in a country where my people can govern themselves without persecution! It only took around 2,000 years to get self-determination back. Well worth it!
“Noah...please respond if this telepathy spell is working.” a voice says in my head. It sounds a lot like Nightmare Moon.
“Luna, is that you?” I reply in thought.
“Yes, Noah. It’s me. Just wanted to make sure you got back to Earth in one piece. I don’t know this pupil’s exact location, but I do know she is in the city of Jerusalem. I would begin looking for her immediately. You don’t have that much time, dear. Shabbos starts in 6 hours, and I know that day is important to you. Good luck!” Luna says, severing the connection.
I quickly checked my magical watch that Luna gave me, and saw that it automatically adjusted to UTC+2, Israel standard time. I try to figure out where exactly in Jerusalem I am, and I notice that the Old City gates are close by. I must be near the Mamilla Mall and Plaza! I remember coming there a few summers ago with my family, and there was really good ice cream there. I decided that there is a good place to start looking for this pupil of Celestia.
And then I sense it. Something that is alien to Earth, with a supernatural level of energy.
“Excuse me! Umm, do you know where the Western Wall is?” This young woman asks me. I mean, it had been a while since I had been to the Western Wall, but I remembered how to get there.
“Yeah, go to the other end of Mamilla, and you will be at the Jaffa gate. Walk for a kilometer or so and you will end up in the old Jewish quarter, where it is a short staircase away from the Kotel plaza. I hope that helps!” I say kindly, trying to keep my communication to a minimum.
“Thank you, uh. What’s your name?” The teenager asked me.
“Noah.” I replied.
Hold on, this is probably Celestia’s pupil! I gotta play it cool right now, especially if we are on opposing sides of this conflict.
“Uhh, do you have the directions down pat, or do you need me to walk you to the Western Wall?” I ask the young woman, who waits for a minute.
“Uhh, I guess you can walk me there? I am really bad at directions.” Twilight said, moving over so I can walk towards the historic landmark.
“So, Twilight? What brings you to Israel?” I ask the young woman, who is probably my age, maybe a bit older. If she wasn’t an Equestrian spy, she could have been on a summer program, or even her freshman year of college.”
“Think, Twilight, what was your cover story if a human asked you why you are here?” She thought to herself.
“Uhh, I got a scholarship to Hebrew University, studying Middle Eastern archaeology!” Twilight says. “I started in the fall, but I didn’t get a chance to go sightseeing until this weekend.”
I knew this was a lie, but I played along. Maybe she will accidentally reveal key information that I could use to assist Luna in our mission.
“Well, we made it to the Old City. We are another 5 or so minutes away from the Western Wall. A word of advice, Twilight. As a religious Jew myself, I thought it would be proper to inform you that some of my coreligionists won’t take too kindly to your hair being uncovered at the Western Wall plaza. I highly recommend putting on a hat, a wig, or something. They don’t even care if you aren’t Jewish, they see it as offensive. Tznius is important in Israel.”
Twilight didn’t know that, and she used a bit of magic to cover her hair, but did it in such a way that it seems natural. I obviously noticed, but I did not comment on the matter.
“Okay. Thank you, Noah!” Twilight says, running off towards the Western Wall plaza.
“So, Twilight, it seems you might have bumped into our candidate!” Celestia said with her own telepathic connection to her pupil.
“What do you mean, Celestia? That guy was just some Hebrew kid, no older than 17. Wait! I have to go find him again. He probably is the guy. I am so stupid!” Twilight said, criticizing herself for not noticing it sooner. Twilight ran all the way back towards me and tapped me on the shoulder.
“Uh, Noah, right?” Twilight said, quickly glowing a fluorescent purple.
Oh, shit. Not now, not in public. I have to contain this, here and now. I recite a Kabbalistic formula quietly, which allows me to teleport the both of us to a quiet location away from anyone else.
“Okay, Noah. I know you are working with Nightmare Moon! Not cool, man! Why would you want there to be eternal night?” Twilight asked, confused as to why I would be working with someone like Princess Luna.
“You don’t get it, Twilight. Yeah, she kidnapped me, but she has been with my people for 3,500 years, or 1,000 years for you. It would be treason for me to say no to her. Besides, Celestia worked with HITLER of all people. Don’t you know what that bastard did to my ancestors?” I cried, trying to hold back tears.
“No, what did Mr. Hitler do?” Twilight asked, unaware of the atrocities that occurred only 75 years ago.
“He slaughtered 6 million of my people in cold blood, just because they were different. Celestia helped him because Luna was allied with my people. How you could possibly be working with a monster like her, G-d himself only knows.” I say, trying my best not to scold her too much. She is my age and probably doesn’t know any better.
“I find your accusations to be preposterous. Princess Celestia would never do something like that! She literally teaches ponies about the Magic of Friendship! Why would she aid and abet genocide?”
I touch Twilight’s shoulder and activate a portal back to Luna’s citadel. We both begin to turn into unicorns again, and I become the “Jewnicorn”... “Jewnicorn”, huh. That fits.
“Ah, Noah, you are back, and you brought company!” Nightmare Moon said, summoning a table, three chairs, and an assortment of baked goods.
“I truly mean you no harm, Ms. Sparkle. You are here on diplomatic immunity. I have standards. I want to talk.”
“Umm, okay?” Twilight said.
This is going to get really interesting.
Author's Note
AUTHOR’S NOTE:
GLOSSARY
WESTERN WALL: The only remaining remnant of both Jewish temples. The holiest site in Judaism due to its historical significance.
TZNIUS: Hebrew for modesty. There are countless laws in Judaism relating to how women (and men), should dress, act, and behave.
Torah Ponies: A Tale of Exegesis, Magic, and The Moon
Chapter 7: Shabbos on the Moon
Twilight seems a bit disoriented, and scared. I mean, I did teleport her to Equestria’s moon, but I was given orders. It’s basically Dina D’Malchusa Dina. Can’t go against my boss!
“Noah. please explain to me what the hay is going on? I honestly don’t have any idea why I am on the moon, and why I am face to face with Nightmare Moon!” Twilight says, a bit tempted to use some magic to attack.
“You were told by my boss’ mortal enemy to analyze my people, so I thought giving you a heads up was a proper idea.” I say, trying to comfort the mare. I am not a bad pony or anything, I just want to avenge my people. Is that too much to ask?
“I am afraid my pupil is right, Ms. Sparkle. Noah was just trying to intervene before things went awry. Besides, my sister is always known for doing a lot of silly things. Did she not tell you WHY I got banished to the moon?” Nightmare Moon says,.
“I remember hearing the story as a foal, that you wanted to make Equestria a kingdom of eternal night! Why would you do that?”.
“Hah! Celestia is up to her old tricks with propaganda, I see. That is completely untrue, if not tantamount to libel! Let me tell you the REAL story, young filly.This goes for you, too Noah. It ties in with your noble race as well.” she says, using some of her magic to project images on the wall of her castle, depicting the events she is about to describe.
“Before my sister and I were sovereign rulers of Equestria, the sun and moon were controlled by a council of unicorns. It took all of their magic to do this, and left them completely dry of magic after a year. My sister, only a mere unicorn filly at the time, had an idea. What if one pony could control each celestial body for themselves? I strongly advised my sister against this, warning her that the power of the celestial bodies would drive her mad. She didn’t listen, and staged a coup, killing all of the unicorns, and absorbing the power of the sun for herself. My prediction came to pass, and she could not handle the majesty of the sun. It corrupted her, turning her into an evil version of herself; Daybreaker. She also got a pair of wings to boot ” Luna says, shivering at the thought.
“What? Celestia would never do that. Why would she even think of something like that? You must be lying, Nightmare Moon!” Twilight accuses.
“I am many things. Cold, maternal, and even a warrior, but a liar I am not, Twilight. I believe this Hebrew colt next to you has proven this already.” Luna responds.
“It’s true, Twilight. She was right about my people’s history, so she must be telling the truth about this as well.” I replied.
“Anyways, let me finish. My sister, now the corrupted Daybreaker, wanted to rule Equestria with an iron hoof, believing her new alicorn form to be the superior pony race. I pleaded with her to stop, and she attacked me in cold blood. I had no choice but to absorb the powers of the moon to stand a chance against her. I also got transformed into an alicorn, gaining my form of Nightmare Moon. Thankfully, the powers of the moon are much gentler than the sun, and I got to keep my sanity. The very idea of me as a villain is a fabrication of my sister!” Luna says, trying to stay calm.
“We fought for many hours, almost burning Equestria to a crisp. My sister was crazy enough to summon the Elements of Harmony to end the fight once and for all. These artifacts are more powerful than anything, even more than atom bombs on Earth, Noah. She banished me here and decided that since I was out of the picture, she could begin her campaign of being worshipped as a god. Not only did she succeed in this regard on Equestria, but even on Earth, as well. When I refused to lower the moon, it was to tell her she was out of her mind, not to rule Equestria in eternal night!” Luna says, breaking out into tears.
I feel really bad for my boss. I had no idea how traumatic her relationship with Celestia was, and how evil she could be. I walked over to her and gave her a hug, the biggest hug I could possibly give. I know I am not really supposed to, because of Shomer Negiah, but she is a freaking magical pony! I pasken it only applies to humans.
“Thank you, dear Noah. I can only imagine how you must have felt when I told you she aided the Axis powers. Now you know how I feel.” Luna says, embracing me as well.
I looked at Twilight and saw she was on the brink of freaking out. HER teacher, the one that exalts the Magic of Friendship, is a genocidal tyrant, who killed ponies for power, and then wanted to be worshipped as a god in multiple universes?
“I...I don’t know what to say anymore. My whole life must be a lie...I spent every waking moment of my 18 years following in her footsteps, going to her school, emulating her.” Twilight says, sweating profusely at the thought of the true potential of her teacher.
“Here is what you are going to do, Twilight Sparkle. I am going to send you back to Equestria, where you will do whatever Celestia asks of you. I presume she wants you and five other ponies to become the next generation of Element Bearers. Find these five ponies, and tell them of the truth behind Celestia. At the Summer Sun Celebration in 18 months time, instead of using these elements on me, use them on Celestia. Give her a taste of her own medicine! It is a matter of life and death, Twilight Sparkle!” Nightmare Moon says, using her more regal voice, as if to give a command. “I will stay on the moon with Noah, and continue to train him in the occult of his tradition. In 18 months, I posit he will be a gifted mage like you, dear.” Luna says, before looking at the time on my watch.
“Oh dear! Noah, Shabbos is fast approaching. I would recommend doing your afternoon prayers now and prepare for Shabbos.” Luna says, using her magic to alert me of the time on my magical watch.
“Oh dear, you are right, Luna. I got to daven Mincha now!” I say, quickly running off to my chambers to get my siddur.
“Where is Noah going?” Twilight asks Nightmare Moon, who just laughs.
“He is an observant Hebrew, remember? He has his prayers to the Elohim deity in his universe. Frankly, if I was you I would stay for the Shabbos Celebrations. You could learn a thing or two about Noah’s culture. I have been to many over the centuries.” Luna says, remembering her time having Shabbos dinner with Rabbi Yehuda HaNasi in 220 CE.
I take a good 30 minutes to daven Mincha, and I come back, wearing more appropriate clothing for Shabbos. How exactly Luna managed to turn all of my clothes into pony-appropriate attire is beyond me, but it’s pretty cool. At least I don’t have to button my shirts anymore, I can just use telekinesis!
“So, Twilight, are you staying on the moon for Shabbos?” I ask the mulberry unicorn, who shrugs. “I don’t see why not. I can just tell Princess Celestia I was on Earth doing a culture thing. She probably wouldn’t care.” Twilight says, slightly unnerved with lying to her teacher, but kind of comfortable after learning what she is really capable of doing.
I use some magic to summon my guitar back on Earth, and I tune it.
“Noah, why did you summon a guitar?” Twilight Sparkle asks me, a bit confused about what I am going to do.
“Well, since Shabbos is coming. I have to do Kabbalas Shabbos now” I say, realizing I can use my magic to tune it, rather than do it manually. So cool!
“Ah, I remember this, Noah. Your liturgy is truly beautiful, my dear.” Luna says.
Good thing my mom encouraged me to be a musician. I went through the entire Kabbalas Shabbos liturgy with the melodies of Shlomo Calrebach. The service consists of a poem called Yedid Nefesh, which is an acrostic of the Tetragrammaton, Psalms 95-99, as well as Psalms 29, a poem called Ana B’koach, and the climax of the service, Lecha Dodi, followed by Psalms 92-93, said when Shabbos is moments away from starting. My davening, singing, and music brings tears to Twilight’s eyes, as Luna reminisces about her time in Israel over the generations, learning and teaching with my ancestors.
“It’s… beautiful. I have no idea why Princess Celestia hates your people, Noah. I don’t get it.” Twilight says, enjoying the music.
“Beats me.” I say, putting my guitar away, since Shabbos is moments away. Luna uses some magic to summon two candlesticks (and candles) from earth, and makes the blessing bringing in Shabbos:
בָּרוּך אַתָּה ה׳ אֱלֹהֵינוּ מֶלָךְ הָעוֹלָם אֲשֶׁר קִדְּשָׁנוּ בְּמִצְוֹתָיו וְצִוָנוּ לְהַדְלִיק נֵר שֶׁל שַׁבָּת
Blessed are You, Lord our G-d, King of the Universe, who has sanctified us with commandments, and commanded us to light Shabbos candles.
“Amen. Good Shabbos, Luna!” I say.
“Good Shabbos, dear. You know. I actually did convert to your faith when Abraham asked me to, so the blessing is valid.” Luna says, reassuring me of any doubts that she was just LARPing to make me feel comfortable. I didn’t notice this before, but apparently Luna already had a Shabbos table set up, complete with two Challah loaves, Kiddush wine, and an assortment of traditional Jewish comfort foods.
“Don’t say I didn’t come prepared, Noah.” Luna says, pointing to the table. “You did that for me?” I ask, getting a bit emotional. “Uh, yeah! I told you I am Jewish, dear.” Luna says.
The three of us go to the table. I make Kiddush on the wine, Luna and I wash our hands for Netilas Yadayim, and I make the Bracha on the Challah. Twilight seems confused by all of the ritual, but didn’t particularly care, since the potato kugel was delicious! Even though I miss Shabbos on Earth, the Shabbos I had on Equestria’s moon was actually the best Shabbos of my life!
Author's Note
AUTHOR’S NOTE
GLOSSARY:
Dina D’Malchusa Dina: a principle in Jewish religious law that the civil law of the country is binding upon the Jewish inhabitants of that country, and, in certain cases, is to be preferred to Jewish law. Pasken: Verbal form of Posek, referring to a modern legal ruling pertaining to Jewish law.
Shabbos: The Jewish Sabbath, may also be referred to as Shabbat.
Shomer Negiah: refers to one who keeps the laws of Negiah, which forbids or restricts physical contact with a member of the opposite sex.
Daven: Yiddish word for pray
Mincha: Afternoon daily prayers
Rabbi Yehuda HaNasi: a second-century rabbi and chief redactor and editor of the Mishnah. He lived from approximately 135 to 217 CE. He was a key leader of the Jewish community during the Roman occupation of Judea. Kabbalas Shabbos: Esoteric set of prayers first introduced in Safed, Israel in the 16th century to welcome Shabbos. Shabbos is often personified as a queen or a bride in these prayers.
Shlomo Carlebach: a Rabbi, religious teacher, spiritual leader, composer, and singer dubbed "the singing rabbi" during his lifetime. Considered by many to be the foremost Jewish religious songwriter of the 20th century.
Kiddush: Blessing on the Wine said before the Shabbos meal, also sanctifies the day itself.
Challah: special bread of Ashkenazi Jewish origin, usually braided and typically eaten on ceremonial occasions such as Shabbos and major Jewish holidays (other than Passover). Ritually acceptable Challah is made of dough from which a small portion has been set aside as an offering. Challah may also refer to the dough offering, and any bread that is made for Shabbat, or from which an offering is taken.
Netilas Yadayim: Blessing said during the ritual washing of the hands before eating Challah, an homage to purity laws of the Jewish Temple Era.
Bracha: Hebrew for Blessing
Torah Ponies: A Tale of Exegesis, Magic, and The Moon
Chapter 8: Twilight Snaps
My Shabbos on the moon was rather uneventful. I spent the day reading, praying, and talking to Luna. I tried being extra nice to Twilight, but she was in a bit too much shock after finding out her teacher is a genocidal maniac to talk to anyone. I had a feeling that she still was clinging on to some hope that Celestia was truly a good pony, but I knew it wasn’t the case.
“Noah, I still can’t really accept the fact that Celestia would do something like this!” Twilight says to me moments before Shabbos ends, and she was to return to Equestria to find the “Element Bearers”.
“Well, accept it. I have, Luna has, and frankly, you should too. You saw Nightmare Moon’s vision of Earth in the past, and what she did, both to my people and to humans in general. How could anyone possibly remain loyal to someone like this?!” I say, hoping to use my impeccable Talmudic reasoning to get this concept through Twilight’s skull.
“I… I don’t know. I do know that I must be going now.” Twilight says, as she walks over to Luna and asks her to teleport her back to Ponyville, where she can continue her mission as planned. Luna does so, leaving the two of us on the moon in silence. I guess that means Shabbos is over, since we didn’t use magic today.
“Shavua Tov, Noah.” Nightmare Moon says to me, using her magic to set up for Havdalah.
“Shavua Tov, Luna.” I replied. I make the brachos for Havdalah, and I am surprised how good Equestrian Besamim smells! After Havdalah, Luna gets quite serious.
“Alright, now that Shabbos is over, you are going to try and summon a Shaid. I gave you the incantation, and I want you to see if it can work. If anything bad happens, I will fix it. Trust me.” Luna says, smiling.
Oh well, I didn't put summoning demons on my list of things to do today, but if Luna wants me to do something, I go ahead and do it. Just as I was finished setting up all the necessary things for the ritual, I saw something enter the lunar citadel. It was the pegasus golem! It landed in front of me, and deactivated, dropping a piece of parchment from its mouth.
“Ah, your golem came back, Noah! Your Shaid summoning will have to wait. I must see what this scroll contains!” Luna says, picking up the scroll with her magic, opening it to reveal the contents inside.
“I actually didn’t know golems could write, Luna!” I say, quite surprised with the results of my handiwork.
“Well, Noah, the intelligence of a golem reflects its creator. It only makes sense that the golem of a prodigy would be literate!” Luna says, giggling.
“Neat! Okay, so what does the papyrus scroll say?” I ask Luna, who hands me the scroll to look for myself. To be honest, it is pretty cool to look at something with your mind holding it in place. What I found inside the scroll was nothing too serious, just a rather crude map of Equestria, combined with a list of key military bases that Celestia uses to house her guard.
“Your golem collected crucial information, dear. I am quite pleased!” Nightmare Moon says, recollecting the scroll for herself, and presumably teleporting it somewhere safe.
“So, where were we? Ah, we were about to summon a Shaid. Go on, you won’t die or anything!” As I said before, if anything happens, I will protect you, as I have with your people for 3500 years. Be at ease, and let your magic do it’s thing.”
I make the incantation, recite the names of G-d, and wait patiently, seeing if anything will happen due to my spell.
Something DOES happen. No Shaid shows up, but my mind begins to snap, and my body floats in the air, convulsing rapidly, with blood coming out of my nostrils. I fell unconscious, somehow reverting to my human form.
“Shit! I have to save him!” Luna says, using her lunar energy to expel whatever ungodly force entered my body, purging it from existence. “Oh, poor Noah!” Nightmare Moon says, using her magic to try and heal me.
I don’t even hear Nightmare Moon, all I hear is this voice. A shrill voice that sounds like a little girl whispering in my ear.
“YOUR HEBREW FAITH IS NOTHING BUT AN OPIUM, KILLING THE PAIN OF WHAT IS REALLY THERE, NOTHING EXISTS BUT THE PURIFYING LIGHT OF THE SUN!”
I see an image of something so horrible and eldritch that I can’t fully describe it, but I can try. It’s equine in shape, but so radiant in color that the light could be darkness, and the darkness could be light. It’s mane and wings were plasma, and it was snorting flames.”
“I’ve found you, Noah the Hebrew. You aren’t safe anywhere. Be it on Earth or in the care of my sister. I will find you, and I will kill you, along with the rest of your disgusting race. I am going to finish what I started in Europe!” The voice begins to laugh, and my eyes lose their color.
“Shit. Celestia must have found Noah. This isn’t good, this isn’t good at all!” Luna says, afraid of what her elder sister could be doing to me.
PONYVILLE, EQUESTRIA
While I am trying to summon a demon from Jewish folklore to the moon, Twilight is busy thinking about the necessary steps needed to meet her future element bearers. Even if her loyalty to Celestia was wavering, and quickly at that, she still needs to pretend that she has fealty to the sovereign, lest she be exiled from Equestria, or worse.
“Twilight, are you okay?” A baby dragon asks, climbing up onto Twilight’s bed, seeing his friend upset.
“Well, kind of, Spike. I spent the night on the moon with Nightmare Moon, and I found out she isn’t really evil. Celestia has been lying to me for years!”
Spike is shocked. Celestia, of all ponies, a liar? That seemed so unlikely to him that he burst out into laughter. “You are seriously falling for that stuff? You realize that a villain would be the most likely to make stuff up to draw sympathy to their cause. You are really gullible, Twilight!” Spike says, laughing some more.
“Normally, I would be inclined to believe you, but she found this Earthling boy, turned him into a unicorn, and they seem to be getting along quite nicely. Besides, I found out the young colt is part of a magical race of Earthlings called “Jews”. They are gifted in magic that rivals even my own! I am quite fascinated by this group, and I intend to study them further. They seem to be obsessed with their history and ritual, and their food is good. I had this amazing thing called potato kugel on the moon, it tasted like heaven!” Twilight says, thinking about the delicious comfort food that Luna and I fed her.
“Maybe you just need a good night’s sleep. Celestia has been there for you since you were a filly. It would be absurd to abandon her now, after meeting Nightmare Moon and her pet “Jew”. Spike says, trying to reassure his friend that everything will be okay.
“I would have a much better time sleeping if that colt didn’t show me images of what happened to his people eighty years ago…” Twilight says, thinking about the images that Luna and I showed her of what happened in Europe during the war. “N… Nightmare Moon says that Celestia did that to his race on purpose, because Nightmare Moon likes his people. There were children in those cattle cars, Spike! Human children, taken away from their homes and suffocated to death and burned alive!”
Twilight says, crying. She couldn’t get the images out of her head. The little girl with the red jacket, taken from her mother and shot to death point blank. The babies. The poor babies, grabbed from their mother and smothered to death, just because they were Jewish babies. The young boys tied to a wooden pole, with their holy books wrapped around them, engulfed in flames. The crematoria... She couldn’t stop thinking about it.
“Spike. Nopony who is kind would have done this even to their worst enemy! Celestia must be stopped. Noah told me 6 million of his people were slaughtered over five years! 6 million men, women, and children! Imagine how massive a number that is, Spike. Celestia didn’t even flinch, letting that human man kill these people. She stood there, watched, and ate cake! Just because Luna was audacious enough to demand equal treatment by her sister.
“Oh man, this Nightmare Moon lady must be crazy.” Spike thinks to himself as he hugs his friend, who is bawling her eyes out. She can’t possibly be loyal to Celestia anymore, after what Nightmare Moon and I showed her about my history.
The only thing Twilight is loyal to right now is those poor Jewish children who will never see the light of day, whose futures will never be realized.
“Alright, Spike. I am switching teams! Tomorrow, I begin preparing for war!”
Author's Note
AUTHOR’S NOTE:
GLOSSARY:
Shavua Tov: Traditional Jewish greeting upon the completion of Shabbos. Lit means “good week”
Havdalah: ceremony marking the transition between the end of Shabbos and the start of a new week. The ceremony involves lighting a multi-wick candle, usually made out of beeswax, reciting a Bracha on wine, and smelling a spice.
Besamim: Hebrew for spices. One of the ritual artifacts used for the Havdalah ceremony.
Torah Ponies: A Tale of Exegesis, Magic, and The Moon
As I was unconscious from Celestia interfering with my summoning spell. Luna was watching over me. She had placed me back on my bed and reverted me to my pony form, since I would need it to use my magic.
“Curses! Why would my sister dare harm this colt? His knowledge and potential are endless, and he truly means no harm to anypony! Woe to those who dare harm my pupil! Be they regal or common folk!” Luna says, watching over me and trying to use her healing magic to restore my consciousness. As she is trying to restore me to my original state, she began to think about the last human teenager she became acquainted with, and how she tried, and failed, to stop Celestia.
WARSAW GHETTO: APRIL 19TH, 1943
Poland at this time in history was torn apart by the Nazis and the Soviet Union. The Jews living under Nazi rule at the time were treated like vermin, shunted into ghettoes, rounded up and slaughtered by the Nazi regime. Hitler himself had begun to receive visions from Daybreaker, Celestia’s true form, goading him to fulfill his fantasies of military conquest and genocide. She didn’t care if humans died, since the Jews were allied with Luna anyways. It is just one small obstacle in her way of domination.
Enter one teenager by the name of Efraim Narcyz, a young man of 15 years old. He was just deported by the SS, along with his family to the Warsaw Ghetto. He had suspicions about what the Nazi regime was going to do with him and his family, but nothing in his wildest dreams would prepare him for what would happen next.
It was the first day of Pesach, and the Jews in the ghetto were preparing to start an uprising against the Nazis. Efraim was heavily involved in the youth wing of the resistance, spreading Yiddish flyers across the ghetto to his fellow teenagers, urging them to take up arms to resist the Nazi occupation. He had just received a shipment of ingredients to make Molotov cocktails from the Polish partisans. Frankly, he had no idea of how they managed to smuggle them into the ghetto, given the intense security detail at every entry point. He didn’t start the fighting, because something incredible would happen to him imminently.
Efraim was hiding out in a bunker, with two rudimentary grenades and one Molotov cocktail. He was waiting for the usual nightguard to come around, making sure that all the Jews were locked away in their domiciles, cowering in fear. He expected them to arrive in half an hour, so he had some time to kill, and wanted to take a quick catnap. As sleep quickly fell on Efraim, something incredible happened.
“Efraim Narcyz, art thou listening to me?” A calm, gentle voice says. Efraim had never had a lucid dream before, so he was a bit scared at the voice communicating with him.
“Uh, yeah. And who are you?” Efraim said, unsure who this voice is, and why it was talking to him. In a blinding flash of light, a figure approached him. Efraim must be crazy. He could have sworn he saw a dark purple unicorn with wings approaching him.
“My name is Luna, sovereign princess of the night, the moon, and dreams. I have been allied with your noble Hebrew race since its genesis in Chaldea. Come closer, child, so I can inspect you further.” Luna said, beckoning the boy to come closer. She embraces the child tightly.
“Geez, Luna. I can’t breathe!” Efraim says to Luna, as she quickly loosens her grip on the boy, letting him go from her warm embrace.
“Thee must have many inquiries pertaining to my presence. Proceed, for I am willing to answer them.” Luna said with much chagrin.
“Okay...Luna. I only have one question for you. If you have been allied with my people forever, where the hell are you now, when every day 1500 people are sent to the train station for “liquidation”!” Efraim said, confused and a bit cross with the sapient alicorn. She approaches the lad and embraces him.
“I am trapped on the moon in a distant world, child. I can only manifest in dreams. My sincerest apologies. The vile human known as Hitler is allied with my sister Celestia, princess of the sun. Celestia is incredibly powerful and wants your people wiped from the face of the earth. Why? Because I helped advance your civilization, in defiance of her orders. Our interests are aligned. I can help you try and win this uprising.” Luna smiled and kneeled.
“Mount me child, and we will fly across your mind, putting you at ease. I will answer more questions in due time.” Luna says. Truthfully, she really doesn’t like doing this, but she knows that Earth’s equines do this all the time, and don’t complain. A little humility could help her achieve her goal.
“What are you doing?” Efraim asked, confused and scared out of his mind. First, a magical talking horse appears in his dreams, and now it wants to take him for a ride across the dreamscape? Anything is better than being spotted by SS personnel, I guess?
“Okay...sure?” Efraim says, climbing onto the alicorn’s back, sitting comfortably between the princess’ wings.
“Come, child. We will fly across the dreamscape, and all will make sense in time.” Luna said calmly, flapping her wings and flying across the vast expanse of Efraim’s subconscious.
“I have a gift for thee, Efraim. I will enchant your weapons, and give your partisan force a fighting chance, although I must warn you that winning this bout might not equate to winning the war.”
Efraim was confused. “Enchanting weapons? Magic doesn’t exist! What are you talking about, Luna?” Efraim says, scared and holding onto Luna’s mane for dear life, terrified that he will fall off her back into the abyss of his mind.
“Maybe not on Earth, but in Equestria, it does. Have faith in me, boy, for I have faith in thee. Fight these evil henchmen of death itself, and prove that your race can withstand the test of time!” Luna says, using some of her magic to imbue Efraim with new strength. What kind of strength? Courage.
“When you wake from thine slumber, thee will find that thine weaponry is enhanced, and more accurate than before. Aim with your heart, Efraim! Strong and true! Awake, child, and find strength in your heritage!” Luna says, using her magic to wake Efraim up from his catnap.
“Huh, I just had the strangest dream where I was riding a purple talking horse in the sky, and she said I could beat Nazis,” Efraim says, before realizing that the two grenades he brought with him are glowing purple. “Wait. Maybe it wasn’t just a dream? Luna said my grenades have more power now! I have 90 seconds. Let’s light this candle!” Efraim says, looking at his wristwatch, given to him by his Bubbe, who was just shot by the SS two weeks ago for not wearing her Yellow Star.
The next ninety seconds were the longest of Efraim’s life, as he waited for the guards to show up on their patrol. Eventually, he saw them a few metres away. He pulled the pin of the first grenade and felt some sort of energy flowing through his body. “This must be the magic Luna was talking about!” Efraim says, rolling the grenade on the floor, while quickly grabbing the second grenade and pulling its pin. He felt the same energy and rolled the grenade in front of the second SS officer.
“What are these two grenades doing here?” The first SS officer asked the other, before realizing that the pins were missing.
“Shit! The Juden have weapons!” The SS officer said, before being blown to smithereens. The second grenade detonated shortly after, giving the other SS officer the same fate. The noise of the explosions quickly brought the entire ghetto out into the streets, encouraged that one of their own had the audacity to stand up against the regime. Soon, the entire ghetto organized and began fighting back, beating up all the Nazis in town, stealing their weapons, and having a fighting chance.
Sadly, this uprising was not successful. It lasted for less than a month, ending when the Nazis decided to liquidate the entire ghetto block by block. The surviving Jews were sent to the Majdanek and Treblinka death camps. On May 21st, 1943, Efraim Narcyz was put into a gas chamber, huddled together, naked with 500 other men. As the Zyklon B gas began to pump through the ventilation system, Efraim could have sworn that he saw the same purple alicorn who gave him newfound strength. Obviously, she wasn’t actually there, but in his mind, like before.
“I am truly sorry, child. Thee have proven thyself to be a valiant warrior. I am sure Elohim will reward you with eternal life, sacrificing your life Kiddush Hashem. Celestia and Hitler proved to be too powerful.” Luna says, planting a gentle kiss on the boy’s forehead, as he began to have trouble breathing due to the gas, quickly blacking out.
EQUESTRIA’S MOON:
Luna could not stop thinking about how she failed Efraim back in 1943. She tried to give the boy strength to fight his oppressors (and Celestia), but it proved to be for naught.
“Seventy-seven years, Efraim. I am so sorry. I hope Noah can avenge you.” Luna says, now filled with a newfound source of power. Her healing magic increased tenfold, and I was able to wake up from my Celestia-induced coma.
“Ah, you are awake, Noah. I am truly pleased, however, if Celestia was able to find you here, then a new course of action would need to be taken.” Luna says, casting a spell imbuing me with more power.
“What did you do, Luna?” I ask, a bit confused with this gift.
“I gave you a last resort attack. Five seconds of stopped time. Nopony, except for me, has the power to stop time. I am giving you this ability for when you must face my sister in due time when my imprisonment ends on the moon. I will train you in this ability once you have recovered.” Luna says, using her magic to bring me a book to read.
“Read, Noah, and recover. Your body is weak. I will help you, okay?” Luna says, as I quickly embrace her. She certainly wasn’t expecting that! She returned the embrace.
“I can’t tell Noah about Efraim. He will lose his mind.” Luna thinks to herself, as she sheds a tear.
Author's Note
This chapter references an actual historical event that took place in the Warsaw Ghetto between April 19th, 1943, and May 16th, 1943. While Efraim Narcyz does not exist, the Warsaw Uprising happened, and 13,000 Jews were deported to death camps as a result of the brave actions of valiant young people.
May Their Memories Be A Blessing for Israel and the World.
GLOSSARY:
KIDDUSH HASHEM: Dying for the sanctity of G-d, refers to martyrs.
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Torah Ponies: A Tale of Exegesis, Magic, and The Moon
Chapter 10: Twilight Prepares for Daybreaker
I don’t even know how long I have been recovering, since Luna didn’t tell me how much time has passed, but I have the feeling it has been quite a while. My head feels rather fuzzy, and I don’t feel 100%. Nevertheless, Luna wants me to prepare to use advanced magic today. I get out of my bed, do my morning prayers, and meet Luna outside on the lunar surface.
“Great to see thou art in better condition, Noah. Today we are going to pause time. Now, I only gave thee five seconds of frozen time, which is plenty for anypony. Now, I can move in frozen time, but not everypony can. Here is what I am going to do.” Luna says, transforming into Nightmare Moon to access the full extent of her power.
“I am going to fire an attack at you, no holds barred. With frozen time, thou can dodge with moments to spare. If it was not I who was the pursuer, this dodge would seem instantaneous. Art thou ready, Noah?” Luna says rhetorically, charging a powerful attack through her horn.
EEK! I am not ready, but I charge my own attack in my horn. Wasn’t there an anime where the villain could pause time? I don’t remember, but he had a cool catchphrase when doing it. Whatever, I imagine that time freezes as soon as the magical beam is launched in my general direction, and lo and behold, time grinds to a halt!
“Excellent, my pupil. Move out of the way. Thou hast four seconds remaining. The seconds seem longer, so it feels like a minute, but it is five seconds. Trust me.”
I heed my mentor’s advice and move a few metres out of the way. Noticing that the magical beam remains in place, static. In frozen time, the beam looks like a kaleidoscope of colors and sights, even though it is probably dozens of times more powerful than a hydrogen bomb. Looks can be deceiving, I guess?
Eventually, the frozen time runs out, and the attack continues on its course, hitting a lunar boulder that was behind me the whole time.
“Dost thou see the power thy have received? Use it only in emergencies, dear Noah. The fabric of time is very delicate, and it is not a child’s plaything.” Luna says, applauding my work, while also warning me of the power I have received.
“Now, let our bout continue! No time powers this time!” Luna says, lunging towards me with all of her might. Welp, I can’t die, so I can get beat up as much as she wants.
“I serve at the pleasure of the Alicorn..” I say to myself dryly, using the nearest boulder to propel myself forward towards Luna, with my own magical blast. Our two attacks meet, creating a massive explosion on the moon.
PONYVILLE: EQUESTRIA
Twilight has spent the past few weeks trying to come up with a strategy on how to deal with her teacher and idol. Even though she has lost loyalty to her, she has to keep up the act whenever she comes over to visit for tea. It proved to be much harder for the mare than she originally thought. Thankfully, she only came a couple of times, leaving Twilight to write down a list of things that she needs to do.
“Number one, Banquet preparations: Sweet Apple Acres.” Now, Twilight knows that the festival is in a year and a half, but being the crazy mare that she is, she wants to write down everything NOW, so she can come up with dozens of contingency plans in the event of a calamity.
“Two: weather. I don’t know who’s in charge of that, but I’ll find out. SPIKE!! Go find out who the weather pony is in this place!”
“Ugh, fine. You owe me a ruby!” Spike says, leaving their home and investigating who the weather pony is.
“Three, decorations. I heard this Rarity mare is a handful, so I am going to need to study this further.” Twilight says, writing down some key information about the decorations for the event in 18 months’ time.
“Four, music. Don’t know what I am gonna do about that!” Twilight says, before seeing a yellow pegasus outside her house singing to a group of animals.
“Well, that answers that. Now, about the final step of party planning…”
“OH MY GOSH HI! I SAW YOU JUST MOVED TO PONYVILLE SO I AM MAKING YOU A WELCOME PARTY!!” A certain pink pony says, completely warping Twilights house to have proper party decor.
“How...how did you even get into my house! Who...who the hay are you!” Twilight says.
“I’m Pinkie Pie. I know all about this Daybreaker thing. I read the manuscript, ain’t that right, BoredNerd0703? Oh right, you can’t see what I see. Anyways, I am happy to help you get ready for the conflict in 18 months. If you need anything else, you can find me at Sugarcube Corner. BYE!” Pinkie Pie says, leaving all of her party stuff in Twilight’s house, making a giant mess in the process.
“Uh, Twilight, what’s a manuscript?” Spike asks, coming into the house after getting the intel that Twilight asked for.
“Beats me. She’s a bit crazy if you ask me. Anyways, I need to go back to Earth now and find some of those Jewish books. Apparently, they have extremely powerful magic!” Twilight says, combing through every book she owns to find that multiverse spell that Celestia used to send her to Earth the first time.
“Cheeseballs! I can’t find the spell. Do you think only alicorns can use this kind of magic?” Twilight asks herself, pulling out a summoning spell. “Well, I know that Celestia is sure as hay to say I can’t go, so I am going to summon Nightmare Moon. Spike, don’t tell anypony about what I am about to do!” She yells at the top of her lungs, drawing the appropriate summoning circle on the floor of her house.
“Nightmare Moon, wherever the hay you are, I need your help! I did the planning you asked me to do about the Summer Sun Festival in a year and a half, but I need more guidance!” Twilight says to the circle as it starts to glow.
EQUESTRIA’S MOON:
The two of us lunar guardians are duking it out on the moon, making new craters from the shockwaves we sent everywhere. I honestly wondered if this fight can be seen on Equestria, but I digress.
“Thy power hast increased greatly since our first bout, Noah. I would even go as far to call thee the strongest unicorn ever. However, be not complacent! Daybreaker will kill you without a thought, so your training will continue!” Luna says, trapping me in a rock with spatial manipulation. Well, this is new!
“Use thy brain, Noah!” Nightmare Moon says before suddenly disappearing.
“This is also new. Where did Luna go?” I ask myself, trying to use magic to break my confinement. I struggled for a few minutes, but I finally crushed enough lunar material to escape. I try and sense Luna’s life energy, and I see that it is on Equestria. The question remains, however, whether I should teleport my flank down there and take my boss, or stay put and watch the moon.
I chose the latter and went back inside to grab my Talmud and began reading.
PONYVILLE, EQUESTRIA:
The summoning circle began to glow a cosmic shade of purple, eventually revealing Nightmare Moon in all of her majesty.
“Why hath thou summoned me, Twilight?” an image of Luna asks, genuinely intrigued as to the reason for her summoning. Since Luna couldn’t be on Equestria, she floated in the vacuum of space and sent her astral image in her stead.
“Well, I was wondering if you could bring me some of those “Jew books”. I hear there is incredibly powerful magic in them, and if you want me to fight Daybreak, I am going to need everything I can get.”
Luna smiles: “A valid point, young filly.” Luna says, using some magic and sending the entire corpus of Jewish text to Twilight’s house.
“Thou hast 18 moons to study. Use them wisely, my little pony.” Luna says with a smile, and returns to her body in space, flying back to her lunar citadel.
“Welp, time to get cracking!” Twilight says, grabbing the very first book she could find: Bereshis.
“In the beginning, G-d created the heavens and the earth…”
Torah Ponies: A Tale of Exegesis, Magic, and The Moon
I am happy that Luna wasn’t gone for that long of a time. She explained to me that she was summoned by Twilight Sparkle, who asked to receive the entire body of Jewish text, like, ALL of it. When I asked her how she retrieved it, she said that she duplicated my entire library and sent it to her. Now, the real question remains whether Twilight will convert or not? I am half-joking!
“Noah, my dear. Have you been practicing your time magic?” Luna asked me today after I finished davening Shacharis.
“Uhh, yeah, I have been moving stuff around in frozen time, like my books, my tefillin, and even making holes on the moon!” I replied, unsure if this was the right kind of answer to give my teacher. “Also, I noticed you slipped into the Royal Canterlot dialect yesterday. Everything alright?” I ask, just covering all my bases.
“Yeah, it happens sometimes. Regardless, I will ensure to speak in a modern dialect for you, child. I don’t want any confusion.” Luna says, transforming once again into Nightmare Moon, catching me a bit off guard.
“Now that you have finished your mental training for today, our physical training must continue!” Luna says, teleporting the two of us back to our usual battlefield; the moon’s largest crater. “Have you wondered why your most powerful magic involves warping time, Noah?” Nightmare Moon asks me as she lunges forward with all her might, using her horn as a weapon.
“No clue, why?” I reply, quickly teleporting behind her and launching her into the lunar cliff a few hundred meters to the right of us.”
“Hmm. You are improving, dear.” Luna says as we continue sparring. “The reason your magic is strongest when it warps time has to do with memory!” She exclaims as she somehow alters the very gravity of the moon, causing me to wobble a bit. The gravity feels much stronger, possibly the same as Earth? Regardless, I adjust to the new gravity as our combat becomes more hand-to-hand, or should I say hoof-to-hoof?
“Your race has survived for so long because of its dedication to its history. No other people have had as long of an unbroken chain of tradition as yours.” I am only half listening since I am trying not to get launched into another crater, or worse.
“As the descendant of a genius, you have a lot to live up for, and a long history to protect!” Luna says, backing off a bit, charging her signature lunar beam, channeling the moon’s very essence into her horn.
“I remember you saying something about how ponies get their cutie marks once they realize their talents?” I posit as I am debating whether to pause time or counterattack. I only have a few seconds left to decide.
“That is correct, Noah. Your talent is your dedication to your history, which is why your cutie mark is a Torah Scroll and a Star of David. As for the time magic, it reflects that history Mida K'neged Mida, since valuing time allows you to partially manipulate it!” She exclaims, sending a massive surge of energy at me. I act a bit audaciously and send my own beam of cyan magic at this attack, causing our two attacks to connect, sending a massive pillar of energy soaring towards the vacuum of space.
CANTERLOT: EQUESTRIA
Princess Celestia is minding her own business, looking at her papers, making sure the sun is shining in the right places at the right time, and doing other things that the sovereign of the sun needs to do. Everything seems to be going swimmingly for her, until her niece, Princess Cadence, is escorted into her throne room.
“Ah, Cadence, lovely to see you, dear,” Celestia says, putting her tea down to welcome her niece.
“Auntie. We have to talk!” Cadence says, rather upset about something. Celestia is rather shocked at her niece’s attitude and wants to know what is wrong.
“Well, what would you like to talk about?” Celestia says, pulling up two chairs for them to sit down and discuss whatever is on her niece’s mind.
“Well, you know that I am dating Shining Armor, right? Well, apparently his sister, Twilight Sparkle is your student, and she told Shiny that you killed millions of people in another universe recently! That sounds preposterous, but Twilight doesn’t lie, so what is going on!”
Oh shit. Celestia has a lot of explaining to do now to her niece, and now she knows that something fishy is going on with Twilight Sparkle.
“Well. It’s a lot more complicated than that. How absurd is my pupil anyways, thinking I would go to another universe and kill innocent creatures? I am a benevolent princess, the teacher of friendship for crying out loud!” Celestia says, aghast at her pupil’s accusation, and more upset that she spread this information with other ponies.
“She says it has something to do with the Mare in the Moon incident from when I was a filly. I remember you having a fight with Aunty Luna, and I need to know what’s going on. Shiny won’t talk to me until I settle this with you.” Cadence says, upset that her coltfriend is being reclusive until this is settled.
Celestia closes and locks the doors with her magic. “What I am about to tell you, niece, will not leave this room, under penalty of death.” She says solemnly and with a hint of anger.
“What! Alicorns can’t die, right?” Cadence says, a bit scared.
“Well, they can’t die, but just as somepony can become an alicorn, that power can be taken away just as easily, then anypony can die! Anyways, that is beside the point.” Celestia says, taking a deep breath.
“Around the time I banished Aunty Luna to the moon, I was a bit bored with ruling Equestria. I combed through every book I owned, looking for something to do to keep me from going insane. I came across an old scroll older than Fausticorn herself. It told of the universe where Fausticorn came from.
“Wait, what? Fausticorn wasn’t from Equestria?” Cadence says, surprised.
“No, she came from a place called “Earth.” Fausticorn wasn’t even her real name! Her name was Lilith. Lilith was created by a being called the “Elohim”, to serve as a consort for a creature called “Man”. “Man” wanted to control Lilith for himself, and she refused, so the “Elohim” banished her to a realm outside her own. “Man” got a new wife named “Woman”, who was more subservient to him. Lilith used her magic to found a new universe, and named it Equestria. Anyways, this is beside the point, niece.”
“Woah, I didn’t know that!” Cadence says, shocked and amazed.
“The point is, I went to this universe and found “Man” had many children, called humans. They did not know of this Elohim and thought I was the one that created them. I was worshipped as a goddess of the sun in this world for many years by many different cultures.”
“So, what does this have to do with the Mare in the Moon?” Cadence asks, confused by this seemingly tangential story.
“I still believe in the Magic of Friendship, and I wouldn’t hurt anypony without a reason, but this race of Abraham’s children must be removed from the Earth, to save both worlds.”
Cadence took a minute to think about what her aunt just said, and came to an awful realization: “But, didn’t these “Jews” have children? Aren’t children innocent of their parent’s decisions?” Cadence says, a bit confused (and horrified).
“Children might be innocent, but they grow up to become adults, just as evil as their parents,” Celestia says coldly. “I happened to have met a human named Hitler a few decades ago, who shared my goal of eliminating this group, although for different reasons. I gave him the means to do so, although he failed, sadly.”
“Aunty. I am leaving! You let a human kill millions of humans just because your sister was friends with their ancestor? How many of them were children?!!?”
“One and a half million,” Celestia says, doubling down. “If anypony outside of this room hears about this, I will have your head on a spike and your powers drained. And Shining Armor will suffer the same fate.”
Well, now Cadence can’t possibly do anything about this. She could get killed, and her coltfriend could get killed, too!
“So, what is happening in the Crystal Empire anyways?” Celestia says, quickly changing the subject, picking up her tea.
Cadence has had enough. She flies out the window on her way back to the Crystal Empire.
“Aunty Celestia is a monster! 1.5 million children slaughtered, because of a millenia-year-old friendship?! Millions of others?!? I must do anything in my power to stop her from ruling Equestria. Nopony who kills children out of spite should be allowed to rule, as benevolent as they seem on the outside!”
Celestia takes a deep breath, annoyed that somepony else has to know this horrible secret. She would do it all over again, but she is annoyed that her picture-perfect image is at risk of being tarnished because her pupil wouldn’t shut up.
“She is a stupid filly anyways. I am not going to lash out at her, yet .” Celestia says, before noticing an explosion in the sky. Now, even though the moon was not visible to most ponies because of sunlight, she could see the moon anyway, since she took the job of raising it for the past 1000 Equestrian years.
“Hmm, what is Luna up to? Is she doing stuff with her pet Jew?” Celestia wonders as she drinks her lemon tea. She can still hear the screams of the children in the gas chambers, and she chuckles.
EQUESTRIA’S MOON:
“Damn, I have been holding this charge for a while now!” Luna says, putting more energy into her attack than before, overwhelming her opponent.
“You did well, Noah. But you didn’t do well enough-ACK!!” Luna says as she is punched into the crater incapacitated.
Now, you might be wondering how exactly I was able to do this. It’s simple. I paused time and found a way to do it without Luna being able to move in frozen time.
“You did well, Noah. But you didn’t do well enough” Luna said moments before I paused time. I had a few different ideas running through my head at the time, but I realized my magic wouldn’t be enough to defeat her normally. To use my strongest magic, I would have to recite it in Hebrew, the language of Creation itself.
“זאוואדו! עצור את הזמן! !!"
“עברה שנייה אחת” (One second has passed). I quickly move out of the way of Luna’s blast, catching my breath. “חלפו שתי שניות” (Two seconds have passed). I make my way behind Luna. “חלפו שלוש שניות” (Three seconds have passed). I begin to feel tired, even though I have seven seconds remaining. I grab Luna by the wings. “חלפו ארבע שניות” (Four seconds have passed). I throw her into the crater in front of me. Now. she won’t actually move until time resumes, but the pieces are set. I teleport close to where I was, but not too close as to get hit by the attack. “הזמן יזרום שוב.” (time will flow once again) I say, resuming the flow of time; absorbing back the energy I emitted when pausing time.
Luna is a bit shocked that she is now inside a crater, knowing she used a very powerful spell.
“Noah, how did you do it!!” Luna says, getting back up from the crater. I got the sense the fight was over, so I didn’t send any additional attacks.
“I paused time, boss. You taught me how, remember? You said my power comes from the memories of my people, so by thinking of my heritage, I was able to pause time fully, including you!” I say, a bit proud of my accomplishment. I wasn’t intending to hurt Luna anyways, since this WAS a sparring match, but I see that I must have hit a nerve.
“Impressive, child,” Luna says, dusting herself off before embracing me. “I am very proud of you, Noah. In the short time since we have met, you have taught me many things, including the need to be more careful. With more training, both physical and mental, we can smite my sister together.” Luna says, roughing up my mane in a patronizing way.
We got abruptly interrupted by a piercing pink light, which revealed an alicorn. Now, I don’t think this is Celestia, so I am not immediately sending an attack, but Luna seems happy to see her.
“Niece, to what do I owe the honor of your presence?” Luna says, extremely pleased to see this alicorn.
“Aunty Luna, I found out what Aunty Celestia did on Earth. We have to kill her before it’s too late!” Cadence says, running into her aunt’s hooves, scared out of her wits.
Who’s this? I guess I have another ally now.
Author's Note
AUTHOR'S NOTE:
Glossary
Mida K'neged Midda: Measure for Measure. Refers to the esoteric concept of one's deeds or actions coming back to effect someone, for better or worse
Torah Ponies: A Tale of Exegesis, Magic, and The Moon
Chapter 12: Cadence Learns the Truth
Well, I guess Luna has a niece? I had absolutely no idea about this, and I let the two alicorns discuss whatever they needed to.
“All will be alright, niece. In fact, you are rather lucky today, since last week I found myself a pupil.” Luna says, using her magic to literally drag me over to meet this new pony.
“Noah, this is my niece, Princess Cadence. Say hello!” Luna says, with a chuckle. Well, my princess gave me an order. Who am I to refuse her?
“Uhh, hi, Princess Cadence. I am Noah, or the Jewnicorn, if you prefer. The pleasure is mine!” I say.
“Uh, am I supposed to bow or anything?” I whisper to my teacher.
“Nah, it’s fine. You’re with me.” Luna replies, putting me at ease.
“So, Jewnicorn, is it? Are you part of that special race of humans that Aunty Luna has an obsession with since her time on the moon?” Cadence asks me, to which I nod in affirmation.
“Not ONLY is this Jewnicorn a member of the noble Hebrew race, but his ancestor was a foremost scholar, as well! I need his assistance in my quest to smite Aunty Celestia.” Luna says, using her magic to conjure up a kettle of tea and three cups.
“What flavor is it?” I ask, secretly hoping for lemon tea.
“Jasmine tea, Noah,” Luna says. Not my favorite, but it will do, I guess. As a host of sorts, I pour tea for the two alicorns in front of me, and then I pour for myself.
“My, Jewnicorn, you have manners! I like that in a colt!” Cadence says, slowly sipping her tea.
“Why, thank you, princess!” I say respectfully.
“So, Jewnicorn, tell me what makes you unique? Obviously, there must be something special about you for Aunty Luna to ask for your assistance from another world! I am quite interested in what this is, and I assure you that this will remain in confidence between us.” Cadence asks, interested in my talents
“Well, I have a photographic memory, and I try to remember my people’s history, heritage, and values the best I can. Also, I can pause time.”
“Wait, you can pause ti-” Cadence said before the teakettle moved a few feet away, must faster than any teleportation spell would allow for it to.
“Hehehehe” I think to myself, loving to mess with ponies about my time power for the first time.
“Noah...Behave, please!” Luna says, using her magic to return the kettle to us.
“Okay, fine.”
“Anyways, Jewnicorn, I came here because my coltfriend Shining Armor is Twilight Sparkle’s older brother, and he claims his sister met both of you already, so I needed to verify first-hoof that Celestia is a genocidal maniac!” Cadence says.
“I am afraid she is Princess.” I say as Luna casts a spell, sending the three of us to the LAST PLACE I would ever want to go.
Treblinka Death Camp: Poland
The spell dissipates, leaving the three of us, in human form no less, in front of a horrific sight.
“Boss….I am going to ask you this ONE time. Why did you bring us here?” I ask, trying to hold back tears, and a surge of magical energy enveloping my body.
“I know this is hard for you, Noah, but I must show my niece what my sister did to your people and ancestors. We must bear witness to the past to remember it. Surely being a time guardian, you should know this.” Luna says in rebuke. I don’t know how this is happening, but I hear the screams of the people who were brought here. The cries of mothers whose children were taken from them. Of children begging for water. Of elderly people being trampled to death by their own children, just for a morsel of moldy bread.
“I know, Noah. I know that when I made you the Jewnicorn, I infused you with magic, and your talents adapted to it. I know your talent is heritage, so your body is reliving the memories. I am so, so sorry.” Luna says, embracing me tightly.
As we continue to walk around the very gates of hell, I see something odd in the ground covered by the barbed wires. A hoof mark. And not just any hoof mark, but one with traces of gold.
“D...Daybreak was here?” I ask, revolted by the very idea.
“Well, of course, she was! She wanted to witness the purge of your people firsthand, to make sure her work was being carried out. She even allowed Hitler to RIDE HER across the lands to see the work being done across all of Europe.”
Something in me begins to feel weird. Not anger, not revenge, not even pity or sadness. Just pure, unadulterated apathy.
“H...how many Jews died during Celestia’s reign of terror, Jewnicorn?” Cadence asks, terrified at what the answer will be.
“Six. Million. Jews. Purged from the earth for just being who they are. We still haven’t recovered from the losses of the Shoah. I am hopeful that since Daybreak’s attempt to exterminate us failed, all future attempts will fail as well.” I say with a very raspy voice, trying not to cry.
“I didn’t only come here to teach Cadence about your people’s tragedy, Noah. I came here to pay my respects to an old friend.” Luna says, teleporting us to the crematoria.
“Efraim...I know I am late. 75 years late, in fact, but I came to say that I am sorry for not doing more. I know I helped you in Warsaw, but it wasn’t enough.” Luna says, placing a pebble on the ashes, per Jewish custom remembering the dead.
“Wait a minute, boss. Who’s Efraim?” I ask, a bit worried to hear what she is going to say next.
“Efraim was the first potential candidate in the Modern Era for helping me smite Celestia.”
Hold on. Didn’t Luna say she’s never taken a pupil before? Is she lying to me? What other information could Luna be withholding from me? I pray to G-d that she lied by omission for a good reason.
“Efraim was a lot like you, Noah. He was smart, kind, and dedicated to things important to him. I actually visited his dreams a few times and tried to get him on our side, but he was faced with a rather horrible predicament. He was in the Warsaw Ghetto.” Luna says, projecting the past events on the walls of one of the barracks.
I saw everything. The Warsaw Ghetto Uprising, his dream with Luna, the enchanted grenades and Molotov Cocktails, his eventual defeat by the S.S, and his untimely death at the hands of Celestia and her henchmen.
Luna casts another spell, and the three of us return to the moon, back in our pony forms. “I am sorry for making you go through this, Noah, but Cadence had to see what her aunt did to the Jews. We need all the help we can get to kill Daybreak, and my niece is quite a powerful mare.” Luna says solemnly.
“Well, now that I know what Aunty Celestia did to your people, I am more than willing to help out. Sadly, if I am gone from the Crystal Empire for too long, somepony will realize something fishy is going on, so I must be going. I will tell Shiny everything I saw today, and ask him to send Twilight back to the moon to see you two.” Cadence says, hugging her aunt one last time before she disappears in a blinding flash of pink-gold light.
A few months pass, and it is one week to Shavuos. My training with Nightmare Moon continues, with both rigorous intellectual and physical training. While I am not able to pause time for longer than ten seconds, I am able to conserve more magic when doing so, making this ultimate spell more efficient.
Twilight came to visit a few times, too, asking me questions about the various Torah commentaries she has been reading. She even started the Sefer Yetzira, and made her own mini golem that looks like her pet dragon Spike! I gave Twilight the key to my golem, too, since it makes more sense to have an incognito golem permanently on Equestria than having to alternate between the moon citadel and the land itself.
Luna comes to check in on me as I am a bit closer to cracking the case, and something is different. I mean, she is wearing full battle regalia as Nightmare Moon, but what is rather interesting is that there is someone, a human, RIDING ON HER BACK!!!
In the few months that I have known her, I have discussed many different topics with Luna, including the fact that Earth has equines of its own, and are used as beasts of burden. She always found the concept abhorrent, even if they are “Earth Ponies”, as she puts it. I look to see who this mysterious passenger is, and I almost faint.
“R..Rivka?”What in G-d’s name is my baby sister doing with Nightmare Moon? I quickly change to my human form so my sister recognizes me.
“Noah? Oh my G-d! I have been worried sick! I had this weird dream about the pony from the picture we took three months ago, and she just grabbed me and flew to the moon in another universe!” My sister says, climbing off my teacher’s back and gives me the tightest hug imaginable.
“I missed you, sis!” I say, a bit confused how she remembers me if Luna wiped my family’s memory.
“I had to break protocol, dear. I restored your sister’s memory of you because Celestia sent sleeper agent ponies to Earth to try and find your family. They failed, thankfully, but I had to take precautionary measures. Your mother refused to come, even after giving proof of my history.”
Well, THIS is interesting. My baby sister came to Equestria’s moon, as a human, to hide from Celestia’s soldiers?
Just another day at the office...
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Torah Ponies: A Tale of Exegesis, Magic, and The Moon
Chapter 13: It is a Tree of Life For Those Who Cling to It
I gave a million different thoughts running through my head right now, but these are the three most important ones. 1) Why is Rivka here? 2) Why is Daybreak hunting down my family? 3) Is my mom alive?
“Sis, I...I don’t get it, how did my boss find you?” I ask her, and she takes a deep breath and begins to explain.
“Well, this horse told me that she wiped our memories of you so we wouldn’t be upset that you disappeared. I only got my memory back today, when she showed up in our backyard and scared the daylight out of me. She probably gave me the same speech that you got, with how she’s been with us for four millennia and all that. Before I even agreed, she just used this spell to grab me and flew off to this world, and now I am here. Not much else to say.” She says, looking around the lunar citadel, and is amazed at being on the moon, even though it’s not OUR moon.
“Noah. I am afraid that your training must continue now.” Nightmare Moon says to me sternly, before I gently interrupt her with an update about my studies.
“Uh, Nightmare Moon? You told me to update you when I found the proper formulae in the G’ra’s commentary that we could use to win. I think I might have found it!” I say, using a spell to grab the tome I was referring to and open to a specific page.
“Hmm, Let me see, child.” Nightmare Moon says, using her magic to look at the book and see the footnotes that I have been writing down incessantly since I got here.
“My G-d...you did it!” Nightmare Moon says, giving me a very tight hug. “We can use this to defeat Daybreak once and for all! I am so proud of you!” Nightmare Moon says, letting me go.
“Umm. Noah? If you don’t mind me asking, what exactly were you working on that this alicorn is happy about?” Rivka asks, as I revert to my unicorn form to better harness my magic. I make a projection of the Kabbalistic Tree of Life, with the 10 Sefiros.
“Okay. I know you probably don’t know about this stuff, because of a lot of reasons, but you know our ancestor is the G’ra, right?”
Rivka nods.
“Well, I actually didn’t know this until Nightmare told me, but he was also a Kabbalist, but he did most of it in secret, since he was part of the Misnagim. Anyways, there is a Tree of Life, with ten sefiros, or emenations. These are: Keter (Crown), Hokhmah (Wisdom), Binah (Understanding), Hesed (Lovingkindness), Gevurah (Might) or Din (Judgment), Tiferet (Beauty), Hod (Splendor), Netzah (Victory), Yesod (Foundation), and Malkhut (Sovereignty). They all represent a different aspect of G-d’s manifestation in the universe, or in this case, the multiverse . What the G’ra figured out was that you can harness powerful magic with these things, and vanquish evil, too.” I say, lighting up each of the ten sefiros in different colors to show them to everyone in the citadel.
“So what you are basically saying is you are going to risk going insane to defeat Daybreak, even though the Rambam says you aren’t supposed to learn the mystic arts until full mastery of Torah is achieved?” Rivka asks me with shock and awe.
“I picked your brother because he is one the best and the brightest of your people. I spent thousands of years looking for candidates, and since 1800, only three have shown up, your brother being the third and final candidate.” Nightmare Moon says with certainty.
“So, what kind of magic are you going to use, anyways? And how do the sefiros tie in with this?” Rivka asks me.
“Am I allowed to demonstrate, boss?” I ask my teacher, who just nods.
“Okay, Rivka. Here’s what I want you to do. Please stand by my teacher’s throne.” Rivka does as I ask, and waits. She suddenly moves instantaneously to the other side of the throne room, and is shocked by this.
“I paused time and moved you over. Just a simple demonstration of what this new magic can do, nothing more.” I say, as my sister seems both amazed and terrified at my ability to manipulate time itself.
“How...How are you able to use magic? Isn’t that Kishuf?”
“Well, yes and no. Yes, because I am manipulating the natural world, but no because I am using the same type of magic that the Kabbalists of old used, just with a new twist.” I reply smugly.
“It is true, Rivka. Everything that your brother has been doing is within the confines of Torah law. I would never ask my pupil to do something against his morals and values.” Nightmare Moon replies.
“So, in a bit over a year, you are going to a magical land of ponies to kill their leader, because she doesn’t like the Jews? Is that right, Noah?” Rivka asks me, trying not to laugh at the very idea.
“Pretty much. I already met one of these ponies, besides my teacher. Her name is Twilight Sparkle, and she actually wants to learn Torah! I was quite surprised!” I say, as my sister begins laughing uncontrollably. The very idea of a talking magical pony seems crazy, but then again, she did go flying on an alicorn to another universe , so nothing is too out of the ordinary for her anymore.
“I am being dead serious with you, Rivka.” I say, and she starts to calm down.
“So. Who is this Daybreak mare, anyways? How crazy is she?” My sister asks Nightmare Moon, who sighs and begins to explain.
“Well, I told you about how I got sent to the moon when we were flying here. What I didn’t tell you yet was how I met Abraham on Earth almost four thousand years ago.”
“Wait, WHAT? You met Avraham Avinu? This is crazy. How old ARE you, Nightmare Moon?” My sister akks.
“One should never ask a mare her age! But I am 6,752 years old. Anyways. I met Abraham in Ur, and I saved him from the furnace. We became friends, and I promised to protect him from Daybreak, who was being worshipped as a sun deity at the time. This naturally upset my sister, who swore to eliminate Abraham and all of his descendants.”
“Wait, so Daybreak is responsible for EVERY bad thing the Jews had to deal with?” Rivka asks, appalled.
“That’s horrible! Noah, are you SURE you are up to this monumental task?”
“I must interrupt this lovely reunion, because I must continue training your brother in magic. You are free to watch, and maybe you can learn something new!” Nightmare Moon says, teleporting all three of us to the lunar crater where Nightmare Moon and I have trained for the past few months.
“How am I able to breathe in a vacuum?” My sister asks, terrified that she is in the vacuum of space.
“I enchanted you, that’s why. Can’t have my pupil’s family die on him, now can I?” Nightmare Moon says, conjuring a chair for my sister to sit on.
She lunged towards me and the sparring match begins once again!
Author's Note
AUTHOR’S NOTE
GLOSSARY:
Sefiros: The 10 sefiros are the ten emanations of G-d listed in the Kabbalistic tradition. Kishuf: Biblical Hebrew word for magic, or more literally the occult.
Torah Ponies: A Tale of Exegesis, Magic, and The Moon
Chapter 14: Torah Gives You Wiiiings!
My practice battle with Nightmare Moon goes on for a few hours. We almost blew up the entire moon with our magic. The best part is, I am actually able to pause time now for fifteen seconds . I found out by accident after trying to pause time on Nightmare, and pushing my magic past my body’s limitations.
“You… you are… quite formidable… Jewnicorn…” Nightmare Moon pants, catching her breath.
“I am just surprised that my big brother is a unicorn with superpowers now.” , a bit confused by the recently ended sparring match.
“Well, I never expected to be roped into this in the beginning.” I say, quickly spawning my copy of the G’ra’s Zohar with the glosses I need to best Daybreaker. I show my notes to Nightmare, and she nods in approval.
“So… what you are saying is that I need to use alicorn magic to pause time for several millennia so we can train together? The G’ra really thought that we would need to do that?” Nightmare says, a bit confused.
“Probably. As smart as I am, he was much smarter, so… can we pause time for a few thousand years? Rivka, you will be affected by this, so you'll be frozen in time for a bit. Lucky for you, it’ll all be over in a minute for you. Ready, boss?”
“Ready, Noah?” Luna says as her eyes and horn turn black, casting a spell that pauses time for as long as we need. This only works because alicorn magic is infinitely more powerful than unicorn magic. My sister is frozen mid sentence as she was about to say something.
“So… how does this work? Is the whole universe frozen, or just the moon?”, a bit confused by the current situation.
“I created a time pocket. Only Equestria’s moon is frozen in time. The rest of the universe remains unaffected, so while 18 months will pass in Equestria, we have as much time as we need. Now, get some rest, as our real training will begin in the morning.”
***
A year and change has passed, and only two weeks remain until the Summer Sun Celebration, when Nightmare Moon’s confinement ends. She has gotten acquainted with the five other ponies in the year or so that she has been in Ponyville, but she isn’t really that friendly with them, as something seems off .
Twilight has been compiling a journal since her stay in Ponyville, writing down a list of everything that could possibly signal Daybreaker’s reveal.
“Princess Celestia has been acting rather strange these past couple of days, don’t you think, Spike?” she asks the baby dragon who is sucking on an amethyst crystal.
“Yeah, although you have also been acting up lately.” he retorts, not really interested in his guardian’s obsession with Celestia’s alleged split personality.
“Of course I have been acting up, Spike! There’s two weeks left until the Summer Sun Celebration, and all the reading I have been doing this year has proved Princess Celestia is crazy. Just look at Jewnicorn’s footnotes!” she says, shoving a volume of Seder Olam in front of Spike’s face.
“Not going to even bother arguing with you, Twilight. I just hope you got your hay together for the party in two weeks.” Spike says, sighing at his friend’s compulsion with besting her former teacher.
Moving to another part of the house, Spike takes out a quill and parchment. He really didn’t want to do this, since he cares for Twilight, but it has gone too far.
“Dear Princess Celestia.
This is Spike speaking. Twilight has been compromised by Nightmare Moon over false accusations of you being a genocidal mare. No reasoning or empirical facts seem to work, and I believe that this has crossed the line between insanity to treason. I advise you to deal with her as you see fit.
Your draconic subject,
Spike”
Spike uses his fire to send the letter to Princess Celestia with a heavy heart, knowing he has betrayed his friend’s trust. As important as Friendship is, safety comes first.
Within only a few short minutes, the dragon burps up a reply. This reply is unusual and terrifying, as it is written in flames!
“Dear Spike. I thank you for your candid honesty regarding my former student Twilight Sparkle. Your analysis is correct. She has crossed the line between insanity and treason. I am truly sorry, but I must use the full extent of my power to stop her, lest she be a further danger to herself or others. I will remain incognito until the summer sun celebration, lest she draws suspicion. Once my wretched sister is freed from her prison, I will eliminate both of them.
Rest assured your loyalty to the crown has not gone unnoticed, and you will be rewarded handsomely for your efforts. Imagine all the jewels you can eat, Spike! Your reward will be even greater than that, I promise you.
Daybreaker.”
The familiar name sent shivers down Spike’s spine. Dropping the letter while his stomach dropped as well, his sight became blurry, darkness threatening to cover his eyes.
'What…? What have I done?!'
Fully connecting all the dots, he rushed to the kitchen sink and vomited at the awful realization.
He just wanted to look out for his friend, not send her to her untimely death!
“Spike! What did I tell you about eating jewels before you take your pills? It doesn’t work!”, rushing to the kitchen to pick up Spike with her magic and check his vitals.
“T-T-Twi…? I-I made a terrible mistake. I-I hope you can f-f-forgive me.”
“Aw, come on! Eating jewels before medicine isn’t that bad , Spike. It just gave you an upset stomach.”
While checking his pulse, she spots the letter Daybreaker sent, gathering it to her and reading it. Her heart felt like it was ripped out of her chest and a burning piece of salt rammed into its place.
“Y-YOU S-SON OF A DRAKE! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT TO ME!?! I'M BASICALLY YOUR MOTHER!”, Twilight's voice rips through the house, tears streaming down her muzzle.
“I… I thought you were crazy! I-I-I wanted to help you…! I didn’t know, I swear I didn't! I thought you were sick... I was only doing what anypony would have done to help somepony they care ab-. Please don’t hurt me!!” , as he cowered in fear, knowing full well what an angry unicorn’s magic can do.
Breathing in and out, she calms down, reminding herself of his loyalty, then thinks of a way for him to regain her trust. Taking a few quick seconds , she then fixed him with a glare that was part anger and part sorrow.
“I… I will discuss your punishment later, young drake. In the meantime, I have to write a letter to that Jewnicorn guy from another world. ”
Summoning a quill and parchment, she begins to write.
“Dear “Jewnicorn” and Princess Luna,
I have a baby dragon that I take care of. His name is Spike. He did something incredibly stupid, and compromised the mission. I will not go into the finer details, but he put everypony I care about in danger by mistake. I have been researching a method to prematurely end your confinement on the moon, and I have enchanted this letter with the means of doing so. Summer Sun Celebration, my FLANK! Daybreaker needs to go, and she needs to go NOW.”
One ANGRY MARE,
Twilight Sparkle.”
“Step one in ensuring you can still live here. Send this to the moon, NOW!”
He does just that, racing to his basket afterwards and bawling his eyes out in pure heartbreak, crying himself to sleep. Twilight stayed where she was, tears creating a puddle under her hooves and a mind that tried, and failed, to find a solution where Spike could forgive himself.
***
10,000 years of frozen time have elapsed, much longer than I have ever spent on Earth, or anywhere else for that matter. During these ten millennia, I have gotten to know Nightmare Moon quite well. She is kind of like my second mother now. It’s a bit weird, to be honest.
Each and every day during these ten thousand years is the same. Prayers three times a day, combat training in the morning and afternoon, four hours of advanced Torah learning, and, at Nightmare’s insistence, tea time every day at 5pm sharp. At least she knows I like lemon with honey! Only took her a century to figure that one out!
“Today marks 10,000 years in frozen time, Noah. I would wager that we only need another century or two before your magic is equal to that of my own. When that happens, I will resume the flow of time and you can go to Equestria and fight Daybreaker with me.”
“Yeah, I’d even say seventy-five year-”
“Hmm. What’s this, boss?”, while using my magic to grab the letter. I immediately freeze in place, recognizing the script.
“Oh… crap.”, handing the letter to my superior.
“Damn that sister of mine, terrorizing innocent ponies! Looks like 10,000 years is 18 months. “הזמן יזרום שוב.” (time will flow once again)
The flow of time was freed, and Nightmare feels very tired after freezing the moon in place for 10,000 years.
“How… how long was I frozen?”, realizing that she was in the middle of thinking something before being frozen in place.
“Not long, just 10,000 years. Frankly, it went by like a few days.”
“TEN… THOUSAND YEARS?! HOW ARE YOU STILL ALIVE?!?”
“Umm, I gave your brother immortality. I'm tapping him to be my successor, you know. It comes with the job.”, she replies with a hidden smile
I froze in place, shocked. I NEVER expected in the 10 millennia that I have known the lunar diarch for her to say something like this.
“W… what do you mean, your successor?” I ask, a bit taken aback by this grandiose statement.
“Well, I am 10 millennia older, and even though alicorns don’t die, I am going to need somepony to take over watching the Jews and being their protector. I’ll still raise the moon and stuff when we kill my sister, but this is just a reorganization of stuff."
“Hold on, boss. Alicorns can’t die, but you said we’re going to kill Daybreaker? How does that work?”
“Well, alicorns are a-mortal , they cannot die of illness or natural causes, but they can be killed. Frankly, I am surprised Tia didn’t kill me 11,000 years ago. Must have had a shred of mercy for her baby sister, I guess?” She says, before noticing that the letter Twilight sent us begins to glow fluorescent purple and sends a massive blast of energy towards the edge of the moon’s thin atmosphere, breaking the spell trapping her on the moon.
“Hmm. This is an unexpected discovery. I guess my confinement ends a bit early! Here’s what we are going to do. Rivka, you are to mount me immediately and cling to my back like your life depends on it. I will protect you with magic. All will be well. Noah, go over EVERYTHING we covered in the past 10,000 years. I strongly believe you are incredibly close to alicornhood ascension.
Wait, what? Alicorn ascension. What kind of joke is this? How does one become an alicorn? Just as I was about to ask my teacher this crucial question, Rivka butts in.
“Hold on, why can my brother be a magical pony and I can’t?!”
I'm certain that she's a bit envious that I’m a freaking time guardian and that she doesn’t have any magic.
“Well… if you’d like, let’s briefly entertain this thought. What is your nascent talent? Everypony has one, even humans!”
My sister takes a minute to think about what Nightmare just asked her, and comes up with an idea.
“Umm. I am VERY forgiving. I know that this Daybreaker is a horrible mare who needs to be stopped, but even SHE needs a chance to defend herself. Maybe she has remorse?”
“Interesting… perhaps you could be the Element of Kindness?”
“Nah, I did some reading on that, boss. Somepony has the job already. A pegasus named Fluttershy. Twilight has been sending me quarterly updates on this.”
“Oh, sorry.bOne magical pony girl coming right up!”
And with nothing more than a flash of her horn, my baby sister became a violet pegasus, with a cutie mark of a feather landing on a rock.
“Woah… I guess that’s how you did it for me, then?”
“Yeah, basically like that. Alicorn magic is broken. Sorry. If you do ascend, which I think you will, eventually, don’t abuse it like I am doing now. Extenuating circumstances.”
“If you change your mind at any point, let me know and you’ll become a human again, okay?”
“ARE YOU KIDDING?!?! I CAN FLY!!!”, forgetting all about the past 15 years of her life and embracing the chaos, trying to get a feel of her new wings.
"Well, I guess we will go to this “Ponyville” place now and defeat Daybreaker!” I say, as Nightmare uses a spell to teleport the three of us to the outskirts of the town, the perimeter of a country estate. At least my teacher was smart enough to disguise herself as a regular unicorn!
Much to our surprise, an orange earth pony wearing a straw hat casually trots over to us with a smile on her face. Does she live here? Maybe?
“Who the hay are you three? Y’all hungry or somethin’? I have apple fritters in the oven. Want any?”
“Yeah, sure! Just as long as there aren’t any pistachios. Don’t want to die of anaphylaxis!” I say, remembering that my nut allergy probably still exists.
“No pistachios. Got it! Name’s Applejack, heiress of this fine estate y’all magically appeared in front of. Happy to be of service!”
***
Twilight senses incredibly powerful magic in Ponyville, at Sweet Apple Acres.
“Holy moly! I think that might be Nightmare Moon and the Jewnicorn! I need to get my flank over there, and fast before Celestia finds-”
“You were saying, my “unfaithful student?”
A massive pillar of solar magic bursts through the door of Twilight’s abode, revealing Celestia’s true form, Daybreaker.
“I must admit, your pet dragon knows when to spill the beans. I promise you that his life will be spared. Now, your life , I can’t make any promises.”
Twilight is scared out of her mind. Her teacher, somepony she loved like a mother, is now hellbent on killing her and millions of innocent people in another universe, just because they were fond of a different alicorn .
“You are to tell me where my wretched sister and her pet Jew is, and if you do, I might reconsider sparing your life. If you do not comply, well, I hope we don’t come to that, Twilight.”
“I will never tell you, Celestia!”
***
“My word! These apple fritters are divine, Applejack!” I say, as I am already on my third fritter.
“Yeah, they are really good!” my sister says, her wings fluttering with ecstasy on her second serving.
“Glad y’all like them. Secret family recipe. Now that y’all are full, tell me where you came from? I assume you came from Equestria, but where? ”, she asks us, innocently trying to get acquainted with her three guests.
I try to think of a ponified name of a city. I grew up near NYC. Manhattan… Manehattan?
“Manehattan” I say on behalf of the three of us, with a hint of hesitation, since I was not 100% sure if I was pulling a name out of a hat or not. To my surprise, she believed me.
“Manehattan, huh? Y’all city ponies are interesting! I have a cousin there. Never been, though.”
Sadly, our snack was interrupted by Twilight Sparkle teleporting in with a cold sweat.
“DAYBREAKER IS HERE, RUN!!”, as somepony breaks down the door of the house we are eating in.
Oh crap… 10,000 years have finally come to this. G-d, I hope I don’t die!
Torah Ponies: A Tale of Exegesis, Magic, and The Moon
Chapter 15: The Fall of Zion
I spent the past ten millennia trying to picture the monstrosity that I would one day be forced to confront. I must be totally honest, she’s terrifying.
She is the same size and proportion as my boss, although she appears more sinister than her. Her mane is literally made out of pure solar energy, probably plasma.
“Umm, who the hay is that?” Applejack asks stoically. She is not afraid that a giant mare who breathes fire broke into her house and is throwing one of her neighbors across the floor like a ragdoll.
“Oh...you don’t know me? You might recognize me like this.”, quickly reverting to her more recognizable form.
“P… princess Celestia? What in the hay are you doing terrorizing everypony like that?! Aren’t you a princess with honor?!”
Daybreaker returns to her more powerful form, and looks at the earth pony dead in the eye.
“I have no quarrel with you, Earth Pony. If you value your life, you will flee this site like your flank depends on it. I have unfinished business to attend to that is 1,000 years old.”
Applejack, not being one to risk her life, runs away per the sun-diarch's demand, although she doesn’t flee. She goes to find her four other friends to assemble the Elements of Harmony!
“Tia. We don’t have to do this. I warned you then and I am warning you now. We are meant to rule TOGETHER, not with an iron hoof, but with the consent of our ponies.”, carefully eyeing her elder sister.
“Oh, you are really foalish. Not only did you break confinement two weeks early, but you brought your pet Jew with you. You know how much I find those people despicable! They worship you, not their “Elohim”. Can’t even follow their own rules! And it seems he has a sister?”
“That’s not true, Daybreaker! I read their Jew books. Only the most learned of them know of Nightmare.” Twilight nervously pipes in from the corner.
“You will speak when spoken to, foal!” , breaking into her Royal Canterlot voice.
“Y...yes Princess.”, as she cried in the corner.
“Noah... What should I do? I am scared!”
“Stay next to me. When I say fly, you fly out the window!”, embracing my sister tightly. Nothing bad will happen to her.
“Noah, it’s time.”
10,000 years in the making, time to fulfill my destiny.
“Daybreaker! My teacher showed me what you did to Efraim Narcyz and to everyone else in Europe in the 20th century. You didn’t have to do that! There were 1.5 million children. Little Jewish boys and girls who wanted to live. Did that not make it through your numb skull!”, my mane crackling with temporal magic, more than ever before.
“Silly Jewnicorn! Those children would have grown up to be scum like their parents. Killing them was an act of mercy on my part.”, she cackles with an evil grin.
“You… bastard! Daybreaker!”, taking a step closer to her.
“Oh? You're approaching me? Instead of running away, you're coming right to me? Even though your teacher, Nightmare Moon told you the secrets of the Sun like an exam student scrambling to finish the last problems on an exam until the last moments before the chime?”
“Well, it’s not like I can avenge my people without getting closer.” I retort like a smartass.
“Oh ho! Then come as close as you like, Jewnicorn.”, teleporting the five of us to an empty field.
“If we are to fight, let’s not destroy some stupid Earth Pony’s house. She did nothing to upset me, so why destroy her house?”, while Nightmare and I launched towards her with full force, sending a barrage of magical blasts at Daybreaker. None of them seem to connect.
“Too slow, too slow! Solar Magic exceeds all! Even without all of your training, its speed and power far exceed that of yours, Sister and Jewnicorn.”
“Wait a minute. The sun and moon are opposite, that means it’s the same kind of magic. Why is my boss holding back?”, I think to myself as Twilight summons her copy of the Zohar and summons a Shaid.
“Hm, what are you doing, Twilight? That demon from Earth won’t do anything against me!”, obliterating the Shaid with nothing more than a simple blast of her solar magic.
“I have no time for this. This Jewnicorn is useless. Sister, let our battle commence now!”, using her magic to launch my teacher into a cliff a few hundred metres away.
Nightmare quickly aligns herself in the air, and redirects a massive lunar blast towards Daybreaker, who absorbs it.
“Not bad, Lulu, you aren’t as weak as you were. Tell me, what is your secret?”
“Her secret is one so obvious that you yourself taught it to me!' Twilight pipes in, sending her own blast of magic towards the rouge alicorn.
'She befriended the Jewnicorn and cares for him. You care for nopony but yourself!”, as she puts more energy into her blast.
“I think Twilight is right.” My sister says, pitching in, trying to fly close to Nightmare for protection.
“Hm? Ah, Jewnicorn’s sister, “Rivka”. I sent sleeper ponies to your world to kill you and your mother. It failed. Might as well kill you now, though. Would lighten my mood.”
No… no way in hell is this BITCH going to hurt my baby sister, whether she is a pegasus or a human.
I snap: “!!!זאוואדו! עצור את הזמן" Using my most powerful spell, I send all of Equestria into frozen time, so at least I have a chance of getting my shot in.
“עברה שנייה אחת" (one second has passed). I am a bit surprised that Daybreaker is still frozen. I conjure a massive boulder and launch it at her.
"חלפו שתי שניות" (two seconds have passed). Just as the boulder was about to hit Daybreaker, she blew it up in frozen time.
“Oh, you are a fool, Jewnicorn! I absorbed energy from Grogar’s Bell before coming here. I didn’t know you could pause time, but it prepared me for any eventuality. Might as well freeze you in place now.”, she says with glee.
I can’t feel my body. Everything is slowing down. That shouldn’t be possible, right? And then, it hit me. I am frozen in time, and Daybreak can move .
“I paused time at the two second mark, just as I escaped from tha boulder. You never trained your magic to withstand somepony else freezing time, so you are a sitting duck!”, teleporting in front of me and breaking my hooves.
“Time will flow once again.”, letting time resume, as my now broken bloody hooves cause my body to collapse on the floor.
“One down, three to go.”, before a massive rainbow blast paralyzes her in place.
“Gotcha, crazy sun mare!” A cyan blue pegasus says, leading four other ponies with her into battle. They are all wearing necklaces with gems. I assume those are the Elements of Harmony?
Twilight’s body starts reacting, and soon she gets a gemstone, but it's a tiara.
“Guess we have a sixth now. Twi, get yer’ flank over here. We need a hoof to defeat her!”, running towards Twilight and dragging her over to the rest of the group.
“You ponies are valiant. I must concede that, but I can pause time now . None of you stand a chance!” In a blink of an eye, I see all of the six gemstones get shattered. I must be too weak to perceive frozen time, and Daybreaker must have disarmed those poor ponies, and thrown them around the field like ragdolls!
“Now, all that remains is you, sister. I should have finished the job 1,000 years ago!”
“NOAH! I… I’m sorry. I don’t think I am strong enough to beat her. She is… too strong. If I don’t make it, I wanted to let you know that I loved you like my own foal. Yes, I kidnapped you, but I had no choice! I am sorry, my little Jewnicorn.”, she sobs, tears streaming down her cheeks. She sends an extremely powerful attack at Daybreaker, stronger than anything she ever launched at me during training. Seconds before it connects, Daybreaker teleports behind her and stabs my teacher with her horn through the heart, killing her instantly.
I want to cry.
I am too weak to cry.
“Baruch Dayan HaEmet.” (blessed is the true judge). I want to do something. I want to do anything.
“Noah… I’m scared! Don’t let her hurt me!”, flying over to me and hugging me tightly.
This is the end. I was given immortality, but it must be a-mortality . I can still be killed.
“Yisgadal Veyiskadash shmey raba.”
Why am I saying Kaddish for myself? I know I am going to die any minute. Nobody will be able to say it for me, so I have to say it for myself.
“V’almah divra cherusay v’yamlich malchusay.”
I am trying not to cry as Daybreaker approaches the two of us, solar magic in hoof, ready to kill us.
“I am not even going to give you the option of last words. You are both worthless in my eyes. Given that you are both children, I will grant you a painless death. My sister did not have that luxury.
“V’chayachon u’vyomachon u’vchayyei kol beis yisrael.”
It's over. I hug my sister tightly. I hear her say “Shema Yisroel Adonai Elohenu Adonai Echad” Even when facing death, my sister still remembers our Creator with unwavering faith.
Everything went black.
Author's Note
AUTHOR’S NOTE:
GLOSSARY:
Kaddish: Jewish memorial prayer for the dead. Recited for 11 months upon a parent’s death, and 30 days for a close relative. During the Holocaust, some recited this prayer for themselves, because they knew nobody would be alive to say it for them.
Baruch Dayan HaEmet: Blessing said upon hearing tragic news, usually a death. At a Jewish funeral, one tears their garments upon reciting this blessing.
Shema: Arguably the most important prayer in Judaism, it affirms the belief in One G-d. The first prayer taught to Jewish children, and the last prayer said before death.
Torah Ponies: A Tale of Exegesis, Magic, and The Moon
I wake in a weird ethereal plane, not as a Jewnicorn, but as myself, in the original body that G-d gave me. I am wearing a white cloak, similar to the burial shrouds Jews wear when being laid to rest.
“Hey, Weinstein. Don’t worry, you’re not dead.” The man says.
“E… Eliyahu HaNavi?”
“Yup. It’s me. Elijah the Prophet of Jewish fame, herald of the Messiah, and drinker of Passover wine goblets. You almost died. Frankly, if you were entirely human, you would have died. You are one lucky Jew.” Elijah says with a grin.
“Wait...if I am not dead, why am I in Olam Haba?” I ask Elijah, who shrugs.
“You aren’t in Olam Haba. You aren’t dead. You are somewhere else. Where? I don’t know, but it is a very important place in this “Equestria” universe.” Elijah says, before noticing screens all around me depicting my life. From my boyhood in Monsey to my time as the Jewnicorn, to my fight with Daybreaker, to my teacher being killed by her!
“No… no…” I think to myself, watching over and over again as my teacher, my rock, dies over and over again. Four thousand years of Jewish history, coming to an end because of some power-hungry mare.
“I… I can bring her back. I… I can rewind time!” I think to myself before Elijah puts his hand on my shoulders and says. “You are a time guardian. You know better than anyone that death is an absolute point in time, and only can be undone at Techiyat Hametim.” Elijah says, embracing the young man in front of him.
Watching my teacher die over and over again filled me with rage, but also with purpose. Not only to avenge her but Efraim Narcyz, the other partisans, his family, my race, my nation.
And then, it finally clicked. The Ein Sof made sense to me now! All the learning with Nightmare and my ancestor’s books. It all makes sense!
“I… I get it now. It’s not just the HISTORY of Am Yisrael that gives me magic, it’s the FUTURE of it, too! I can’t just be a bookworm and remember history, I have to be an active part of it as well, ensuring its survival for the future!” I exclaim.
“There are 1001 gates to the Pardes or the Orchard of Truth. One can only enter through his gate , and not someone else’s. You just found your gate, Noah.”
Finding gates, a Pardes, what the hell is he talking about? I am just a normal Torah student! I don’t know any of these esoteric concepts?
“Shabbos 33, Noah. Your ten thousand years of frozen time was like the 10 years Rabbi Shimon Bar Yochai spent in the cave hiding from the evil Roman Empire. It had the same effect on you. I don’t know much about how it manifests in this universe, but I remember reading somewhere that when a pony realizes his full potential, he becomes an “alicorn”. Don’t know what that is, to be honest.”
Wait...no freakin’ way! Did...did he say I met my purpose? If I get sent back, am I going to have wings? Don’t nerd out, Noah!
“Hold on, Eliyahu...does that mean if I somehow get back to Equestria, I am going to become an alicorn?” I ask, eager to hear the prophet’s advice.
“I honestly don’t know, but I would assume so. Your teacher did want you to succeed her, so her death also makes you Prince of the Night.”
Woah Woah Woah! Prince of the Night? Alicorn guardian of spacetime? Avenging Daybreaker? Too much all at once!
“I have one more word of advice for you before you go back to “Equestria”, Noah. “הִנֵּה מַה טוֹב וּמַה נָּעִים שֶׁבֶת אָחִים גַּם יַחַד” (Behold how good and how pleasing / for brothers (people) to sit together in unity.) (Psalms, 133)
“In this universe, friendship is key to everything. You need to work on that, too. Just because you are free of death by aging does not exempt you from finding a group of peers to interact with. Find someone to enjoy company with. Farewell.” Elijah says, vanishing in thin air.
I feel something weird like time is moving forward faster. I am flung forward through the cosmos and I am thrown back into my body.
***
Daybreak is looking at the carnage she has caused. She killed her sister, her pet Jew, but his sister has good reflexes! She escaped before the blast could engulf her, flying off to the distance.
“My...my big brother is gone!” Rivka says to Twilight, who is trying to get back up on her hooves once again.
“I...I am so sorry, Rivka.” Twilight says, hugging the violet pegasus on her right.
“Might as well burn the corpses, so I can spit on their tradition again. I know cremation is against the Jewish faith, so depriving the Jewnicorn of burial is a double death!
“I have to do something! I MUST DO SOMETHING!”
I don’t know how, but my body begins levitating off the floor.
“Hm, what is going on, Jewnicorn?!?” Daybreaker says as she sees my body get enveloped in cyan magic. I feel my body heal, but I feel something else. My horn is getting longer, and I feel something protruding out of my back.
That can only mean one thing.
I ascended.
“Luna, you sick, sick mare. I miss you already.” I think to myself as a giant explosion of magic reveals my new, enhanced state.
“I am Jewnicorn, ALICORN OF TIME!” I say, somehow using a new, more regal dialect. Is that the Royal Canterlot tongue?
“Ooh, nice powerup. Still going to kill you.” Daybreaker says.
Showtime, for real!
Torah Ponies: A Tale of Exegesis, Magic, and The Moon
Chapter 17: The War of Gog and Magog
WOAH! I am a bucking alicorn now! I feel weird and enhanced. I CAN FLY, and I feel incredibly powerful.
“Hmm. I am quite intrigued by your ascension. I wonder what caused it.” Daybreaker says, launching herself at me to attack. Thankfully, my reflexes are MUCH better as an alicorn, and I am able to go toe to toe (or hoof to hoof) with her, holding nothing back.
“None of your business. I am going to kill you as you did to so many others.” I say, trying to hold back her solar magic with my own time magic.
“How stupid are you, Jewnicorn!” Daybreaker says, using a spell to trap my sister in her magic, holding her in front of me, horn at the ready.
“I am going to kill your sister, and then I am going to kill you. I am not killing you first, since I am going to force you to watch.” grinning while my sister is crying her eyes out.
“I am NOT going to let you hurt that poor pegasus!” Twilight says before she also collapses on the floor for a minute.
Shaking heavily, she reaches inside herself, deeper than she ever had before, while simultaneously reaching out, beyond herself.
“I… will not… Stand aside!! I… Don’t know this poor filly, or the Jewnicorn that well, but nopony deserves to be killed because of what their ancestors did! I-I loved you like my mother, Celestia! A-and… I-I must stop you!”
And with a mighty scream, she feels these two sources rush towards each other, connect inside her, and explode.
***
“Hey, Twilight. Never thought I’d live to see the day.” The stallion in front of me says with a grin on his face.
“S… Sombra? I thought you were an evil pony? What are you doing here? ”
“Well, I don’t exactly know where we are, but I can tell you that you aren’t dead. Far from it, actually.” Sombra says, showing me one of the many screens with my life being depicted and Jewnicorn’s new alicorn form fighting hoof to hoof with Daybreaker. The two of them are fighting and seem to be at an impasse!
“I care less about where I am and more about WHY I AM HERE?!”, a bit nervously.
“Well, it might have to do with finally understanding the Ein Sof. You are one smart mare, and you have devoured those books the Jewnicorn gave you. I truly think you might have even become his intellectual equal. All in what, 18 months?”
“So… I understand the Ein Sof now. Why? Because I care about that poor pegasus filly who has no connection to Daybreaker at all?”
“Well, your studies in Jewnicorn’s religion gave you a new perspective on the Magic of Friendship. Love for his people in a platonic way. Is that not Friendship in its purest form?”
“Hold on, if I understand the Ein Sof, and I am here, does that mean that I am going to turn into a-”
“Yes, Twilight, or should I say, Princess Twilight . Once a pony finds their purpose and realizes it, they become an alicorn. Our time is running out, and you have a kingdom to save. Good luck.” Sombra says, disappearing.
I feel like I am being thrown backward in time, my body being hurled through the abyss, somehow everything turns black, and I wake up, seeing the two alicorns fighting each other, with poor Rivka being held at hornpoint.
***
“You are distracted, Jewnicorn! What are you looking at? Don’t you see I am going to kill your idiot sister!”, cackling like a maniac.
I grin. “I see somepony else is getting a powerup. I know where this is going!” Twilight starts floating up to the air, her injuries completely healing.
“NO! NOT ANOTHER ONE!” Daybreaker says, before being stunned for a moment. HER studentfinally becomes an alicorn, and she feels nothing but rage and hatred towards her.
I see two purple wings sprout behind Twilight, and her horn grows by a few inches. When it is all said and done, her magical aura is glowing all around her, and my energy readings are off the charts!
“Oh yeah! This feels nice. Weinstein! Get over here!” Twilight yells, before realizing it is just faster to fly over to me.
“What was that secret you needed to beat Daybreaker?” She asks me as we both continue deflecting attacks from her former teacher.
“Well, I never paused time as an alicorn before. Since my magic is SPECIFICALLY tied to spacetime, I think she might be frozen if I try again. You think you can get me something big enough to squish her like a bug?”
“Like what, a steamroller?” Twilight asks sarcastically.
Oh, my word! That is actually the perfect thing. A steamroller in frozen time! It’s almost meant to be.
Wonder if Twilight will be able to move at all in frozen time? Only one way to find out.
“Ribbono Shel Olam. I am about to pause time for no more than fifteen seconds. I will smite the spawn of Amalek from this world as it is written: “ You shall remember what Amalek did to you on the way, when you went out of Egypt, how he happened upon you on the way and cut off all the stragglers at your rear, when you were faint and weary, and he did not fear G-d. [Therefore,] it will be, when the Lord your G-d grants you respite from all your enemies around [you] in the land which the Lord, your G-d, gives to you as an inheritance to possess, that you shall obliterate the remembrance of Amalek from beneath the heavens. You shall not forget!” (Deuteronomy 25: 17-19).
I will avenge everyone that this beast has slaughtered. May they rest in the Garden of Eden amongst the wings of the Shechina, and may the fires of Gehenna consume the monster I am about to smite. Ken yehihi ratzon, May it be Your Will.”
“What was that, Jewnicorn? I felt a massive surge of magic in you when you did that! You weren’t even talking!”
“Prayer is powerful. Trust me. If you feel weird in a few seconds, it's not a big deal."
Ahem. Time to avenge everyone important to me. My teacher, my people, the poor ponies of this reality.
My temporal magic burns with more resolve than ever, and using the language of Creation itself, I pause time for the last time .
“זאוואדו! עצור את הזמן! !!"
“Woah. Alicorn magic is broken. Luna was right .” I exclaim.
“Yeah, I know, right?” Somepony taps me on the right.
“T---TWILIGHT? HOW ARE YOU MOVING IN STOPPED TIME?!”
“Not sure, probably because my alicorn ascension is tied to the Ein Sof, just like yours. My magic comes from Torah now, not from Equestria. Although one could argue that Friendship is the source of both.
“עברה שנייה אחת”. (one second has passed)
“Any idea where I could find a steamroller? I need something to crush her like a bug!”
“Umm, conjure one?” Twilight says, doing just that. A giant yellow steamroller appears a few miles away.
“Dang it! I have to go and schlep the thing over here now!
“חלפו שתי שניות” (Two seconds have passed) “Stay here and make sure Daybreaker stays frozen!”
“Got it!” Twilight says as I fly over a few miles to grab the steamroller.
“Damn it, this thing is heavy, even with my magic!” I struggle to lift the steamroller.
. “חלפו ארבע שניות” (four seconds have passed). I can’t fly that fast bringing the giant crusher over to Twilight. She flies over to me and helps, using her magic to assist me in transporting the steamroller.
“Thanks, Twilight, although who is watching Daybreaker to make sure she doesn’t unfreeze herself?” I ask, a bit concerned by her moving in frozen time a few hours ago, before my ascension.
“Nah, you have alicorn magic now. You’ll be fine!” Twilight tries to reassure me, but I have my doubts. We finally made it over to her.
“חלפו חמש שניות" (five seconds have passed).
It’s time! I have been waiting ten millennia to do this to her. Twilight and I grab the steamroller and send it flying towards Daybreaker.
“Ready to commit mare-icide?”
Twilight nods in approval.
“תאכל את זה! גליל אדים (Eat this. I AM GOING TO ROLL ALL OVER YOU!)”
Sending massive volleys of magical blasts at the steamroller to amplify the damage. I am shocked to see that Daybreaker seems to be unfrozen for a while, and counterattacks.
“USELESS! בזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוז” (uselessuselessuselessuselessuselessuselessuselessuselessuselessuselessuselessuseless!)
"חלפו שש שניות." (six seconds have passed!)
“It’s too late, Daybreaker! We are crushing you flat!” I say, sending a massive hoofstrike into the top of the steamroller and pummeling the evil alicorn into the ground. Everything seems to be frozen once again, including the dust coming from the impact crater.
“Well, we did it, Twilight. Daybreaker is no more. I can finally breathe.” I say, flying back towards the ground.
“Yeah, as hard as this was, this ending seems a bit anticlimactic. Almost like it was too easy. ”
I hate to agree with her on this, but I think she is telling the truth. This fight did seem too easy, almost like Daybreaker knows something that we don’t.
As I am about to go reply to Twilight, she freezes in midair, her wings stiffening and soon completely freezes in time.
“That’s odd. She survived in frozen time before, why is she freezing up now?” I think to myself. As I was about to fly over to her, I noticed my own movements began to slow down as well.
“NO! NOT AGAIN!” I think to myself, before completely freezing in place.
“You are like a child, Noah Weinstein. Using your most powerful attack over and over again, expecting it to work, only for it to blow up in your muzzle.” The familiar, evil voice of Daybreaker rings out. I feel solar magic behind me.
“You really thought that growing a pair of wings would improve your magic against the mighty GODDESS OF THE SUN? I AM DAYBREAKER! Bow before my knowledge and might!”
It’s over. Not even an alicorn upgrade can allow me to defeat Daybreaker. I failed everypony.
“L...Luna. I am so...sorry.” I manage to muster out in frozen time, just as Daybreaker breaks every bone in my body with nothing but a thought.
“Time will move once again,” Daybreaker says, allowing the full pain of my injuries to kick in, plummeting me into the ground. She then does the same to Twilight, sending her crashing down a few meters next to me!
“H...horseapples! She’s too strong. Not even two Alicorns can beat her. The Elements of Harmony were destroyed, and not even time stopping can stop her. What can we do?” Twilight says, breaking out into tears.
“Any last words, Twilight before I incinerate you? I won’t give my sister’s pet Jew the same honor. You are lucky I used to care for you.”
“YOU STUPID HORSE!! I AM GOING TO TEACH YOU SOMETHING!” I hear my sister say, flying into Daybreaker at full speed, completely catching her off guard. Never seen anything like it! She’s not a fighter, so Rivka must be SUPER mad.
Wait a minute. She didn’t ram into her to attack her, she rammed into her to hug her.
“Our tradition teaches that we lost the Temple due to baseless hatred, or Sinas Chinam. The only way to bring the Redemption is with Ahavas Chinam, or baseless love. This means that even though you are a horrible mare and don’t deserve love, I am giving it to you anyways.”
What the hell is my sister trying to get at?
Author's Note
AUTHOR’S NOTE
GLOSSARY: Ein Sof: the highest level of G-d’s presence in the Kabbalistic tradition Shechina: The divine presence, often given feminine characteristics. Gan Eden: The garden of Eden, as well as the afterlife. Gehenna. Originally referred to a giant flaming trash heap in 1st Century BCE Judea, but later became the Jewish purgatory. Amalek: Amalek is a nation described in the Torah as an enemy of the Jews. The name "Amalek" can refer to the nation's founder, a grandson of Esau; his descendants, the Amalekites; or the territories of Amalek, which they inhabited. While this nation might not exist anymore, the commandment to “erase Amalek” refers to erasing the enemies of the Jews. Daybreaker fits this description.
Torah Ponies: A Tale of Exegesis, Magic, and The Moon
Chapter 18: The Merits of the Matriarchs
I don’t believe what I am seeing. My sister, who has literally ZERO combat experience, just flies over to Public Enemy #1 of the Jews, and HUGS her? I have no clue what she is trying to do, and frankly, I am worried sick for her. She could be killed!
“What in G-d’s name are you doing, Rivka?” I think to myself, before my sister STARTS GLOWING VIOLET.
This is new. I thought pegasi don’t have magic, or at least the ability to cast magic. This violet energy quickly alerts Twilight, who exclaims “I think your sister is using the Magic of Forgiveness! It’s older than Friendship by a few thousand years!”.
I look around me, seeing that all of Twilight’s friends were thrown around the field like vermin, but a buttery yellow pegasus seems to be waking up, with only minor injuries.
“NO! I won’t let this stupid filly defeat me with Friendship!” Daybreaker exclaims, trying to use magic to throw my sister off of her body. It doesn’t work. She is stuck to Daybreaker like glue.
The yellow pegasus slowly balances herself on her hooves and sees what this other pegasus is doing. She then flies over to Daybreaker and does the exact same thing. Embraces her with baseless love.
“I don’t know this filly, but she is absolutely right. Even if somepony does something horrible, and doesn’t deserve love, everypony should give it to them anyway.” She says, also becoming enveloped in magic, although of a yellow aura instead of a violet one. The two magical energy sources compound on each other, preventing Daybreaker from launching any attacks, but isn’t strong enough to neutralize her.
“N...Noah...I think your sister might be onto something. Celestia was my teacher, and as evil, as she is, we need to stop her the right way .” Twilight says, trying to stand up on her own four hooves. The problem is, she is also suffering the same injuries as me. She collapses onto the floor again, just as Applejack begins to wake up from her battle damage. Quickly realizing what is going on, Applejack reorients herself and makes a decision.
“I think that the Jewnicorn’s sister is right. Even if Daybreaker is an evil mare, we need to forgive her, and that’s the honest truth,” she says, galloping over to Daybreaker and embracing her with baseless love. Adding her orange aura to the mix, Daybreaker is further immobilized by forgiveness!
“NO!” Daybreaker says, being further immobilized by friendship and forgiveness. Her own teachings are being used against her. Oh, the irony! I see Daybreaker struggling with all of her might to try and throw off the ponies embracing her with baseless love, but nothing she does seems to work. A grey unicorn mare is the next to wake up, taking a bit longer than the rest of her friends to adjust to the current situation.
“Rarity! We need to forgive her! It’s the only way!” Fluttershy exclaims loudly. Rarity is not entirely sure what to do. Daybreaker burned down her entire boutique! How can that be forgiven? Regardless, she is the next to forgive Celestia, teleporting herself to the group and embracing her as well.
“Oh, Darling. I know you burned down my shop and upset these two humans, but I forgive you. I have to be generous with forgiveness, no?” She asks rhetorically, as her magic gets added to the forgiveness pile.
The next pony to wake up, a pink Earth Pony, is very quick to see this situation and was bouncing herself up and down with glee. I don’t get it. Does she break physics or something?
“OH! I SEE WE NEED TO HAVE A GROUP HUG!” The pink pony says, launching herself into the fray, embracing Daybreaker, and becoming enveloped in forgiveness.
“I...can’t...move!” Daybreaker says, starting to buckle under the weight of forgiveness.
The last pony to wake up was the cyan pegasus, who took a minute to compose herself and adjust to the situation.
“I don’t trust you, Daybreaker, but my friends have been loyal to me, so I might as well trust them now.” She says, reluctantly joining the hugging dogpile.
“THIS...IS IMPOSSIBLE!!!” Daybreaker says, using all her might to try and fight off these ponies’ forgiveness magic.
Once all five of Twilight’s friends were in the group, I noticed the strangest thing. The necklaces that they were wearing earlier with these magic artifacts began to magically reconstruct themselves, and I saw Twilight’s magic tiara come back, healing her injuries completely.
“Woah. Lucky you. I still am crippled from head to hoo-” and then my injuries heal, too! No magic necklace, though. Must be an alicorn thing?
“I understand if you don’t want to forgive Daybreaker, but I am going to.” Twilight says, flying over to Daybreaker and hugging her, tears streaming down her cheeks.”
“Celestia. You might be crazy, but I have so many positive memories with you. I want those to be your legacy, not what you did to Noah’s race. I...I forgive you, Princess!” Twilight says, becoming completely enveloped with both the Magic of Friendship and Forgiveness. Slowly, but surely, Daybreaker’s body began turning to stone.
“You fools! If you do this, who will raise the sun?” Daybreaker says, with a smirk.
Oh, crud. She does have a point. Luna told me that the sun and moon are raised by these alicorns daily, not controlled by natural phenomena.
And then, just as I thought Daybreaker was about to be defeated, she did the unthinkable. She paused time! At least I was able to move this time, but Twilight, my sister, and her friends are all frozen in place, as Daybreaker managed to teleport herself out, reverting to her natural form.
“You really are stupid, Jewnicorn! I must concede that I didn’t expect Twilight’s friends to fully become the Element Bearers this quickly, let alone master the Magic of Forgiveness AND Friendship. In a good scenario, I would be very proud of them, and to some extent, I am, but I don’t harbor friendship towards traitors! I am glad Luna is dead, but with YOU in the picture, well, it’s like she’s still here. Why don’t we make a deal?”
A deal? What the buck would Daybreaker want from me? I can’t give her anything.
“Go on, before I use my new alicorn magic to accelerate time to a singularity. Luna taught me a few things!” I say, quickly letting some magic flow out of me to intimidate the sun alicorn.
“I want nothing to do with you anymore, Weinstein. You are a pain in my flank! Frankly, now that Luna is dead, I harbor no resentment towards your people anymore. I am giving you a ticket out. In exchange for me removing your alicorn power and reverting you back to a human, I will permanently sever the connection between our two worlds. You can follow your stupid archaic Jewish customs, and I can wipe the memories of everypony here so they remember me as the benevolent Princess Celestia. Wouldn’t you like that, Jewnicorn? To go back to your old life?”
Horseapples! She is playing with my emotions! Won’t stand for that!
“I am strongly considering your offer, but Luna permanently altered my DNA. Are you really able to undo that? Luna told me it’s impossible.”
Daybreaker lunges forward towards me in frozen time and pins me down on the floor, trapping my wings underneath her hooves.
“Why did you make me do this?! We’re fighting, so you can watch everypony around you DIE! Think, Noah! If I don’t remove your immortality, you’ll outlast literally everyone back on Earth. What would you have after five hundred years?! A millennium?!”
Damn! That monologue is scary!
“And what would happen if I said no?” I asked, just to see if she was really going where I thought she was.
“Well, if you say no, then you will have to live for eternity knowing that I will kill your sister and mother out of spite. Don’t do it for yourself, human, do it for them. ” Daybreaker says, teleporting next to my sister in frozen time, horn at the ready to fire.
If I don’t do anything, I’ll have blood on my hands! I love my baby sister, and I don’t want anything to happen to her.
“F...fine. I accept your offer, on one condition. Wipe my sister’s memory of these events. She is too pure and good for this world to know what you did.”
“IT IS DONE!” Daybreaker says, moving my sister in frozen time next to me.
“Although, you made a horrible mistake. I am not wiping YOUR memory, and you will live for the rest of your life knowing what I did to your people, only for everyone to call you a madman!” Daybreaker says, charging a massive blast of magic at the both of us.
Everything went black.
***
March 13th, 2020 CE
I wake up in my bed, in my regular pajamas, with regular human hands.
“Damn that son of a mare! I had no choice. I needed to protect Rivka!” I think to myself, before noticing that all my belongings are exactly where I left them. Just to be sure, I try using magic to summon a random volume on my shelf, and I looked like an idiot. Nothing happened.
“Well, back to normalcy, I guess?” I think to myself, before seeing the strangest thing on my desk.
I quickly get out of my bed and tear the scroll off the book, only to break down into tears.
“TO MY LITTLE JEWNICORN”
Torah Ponies: A Tale of Exegesis, Magic, and The Moon
Chapter 19: To Everything There is a Season
I can’t believe it. After everything that I went through during the past 10,000 years of frozen time, with Luna basically raising me like her own son, and watching her die, how is it possible that she wrote this letter? I don’t get it. One thing after another, constant training, magic, learning, and everything else, when could she have possibly written this? Part of me wanted to not open the letter, since I needed some time to process everything, but what if what she has to say is extremely important?
I take a deep breath and read the letter:
“Noah Weinstein, If you are reading this message, that means the timeline played out exactly as it was supposed to. I would have rather had it be so I didn’t have to die, but there was no other way. After making your “deal” with Daybreaker, the Elements of Harmony most likely have frozen Daybreaker to stone. While this is not exacting the pound of flesh that you would have liked, it proves that the Jewish value of Selicha U’Mechila exists in Equestria, too. As King Solomon said in the book of Koheles: “ Everything has an appointed season, and there is a time for every matter under heaven.” (Koheles, 3:1) Over the ten thousand years of frozen time we spent together, I learned so much from you. I am sure that Abraham would be thrilled that his descendant did the best he could to stop a multiversal calamity, with the help of some pastel ponies to boot!
Anyways, this is not what this letter is about. It is to tell you that you are STILL the Prince of Night and Guardian of Time. Attached to this document is my royal seal naming you as my successor. As much as Daybreaker tried to remove the magic from you sending you home, she failed. The magic of Torah will ALWAYS remain in your heart, and with it, your magic.
Now, there is a slight problem. If my timeline preening was right, which it was, you can’t access my reality anymore, because Daybreaker severed the connection. I have found a similar universe to my Equestria where both myself and Celestia are benevolent. Now, they do have a problem with some draconequui, a centaur, and changelings, but it’s nothing a little Friendship and Torah can’t fix. I let this variant of myself know of your kindness and erudition, and that if she needs anything, she knows where to find you. Although, this variant of myself is not as versed in Modern English as myself, and speaks a more antiquated tongue.
I know I promised to help you build the Third Temple when we won, but fate wills it otherwise. It was not a promise in vain, fear not. I should warn you that while Daybreaker was defeated by the Element at the time of your reading, there is always a chance somepony will unfreeze her from stone one day. If that happens, I have faith my little Jewnicorn will find a way to save my reality once again.
Your magic isn’t just the fact that you can warp time and space, but that you carry on four millennia of tradition perfectly. That is the REAL magic. The rest is extra. I am so sorry that I could not be there to witness your ascension to alicornhood. It must have been exhilarating! I will always be proud of you, Noah.
See you in your dreams,
Princess (Nightmare Moon) Luna
I put the letter on my desk, seeing the crescent moon insignia of her royal seal on the bottom of the page. I go back to my bed and begin to cry profusely. My teacher, my Morah . Gone.
I know she isn’t a liar, but how could I possibly use my magic now? I couldn’t even summon a single volume of my Talmud, let alone pause time! This whole thing is confusing. At least I know that March 13th is when the world shuts down due to COVID-19, so at least I don’t have to go out in public or anything.
“Noah, are you busy with something? I need you to help me bring in the groceries!” Rivka says from the doorway (again).
“Well, time to live my normal life. Alicorn time guardian notwithstanding. Don’t say anything and bury that letter deep inside my margins.” I think to myself, coming downstairs to help my sister unload the groceries.
***
“Woohoo! Y’all did great everypony!” Applejack says, giving all of her friends a hug.
“Hold on, Applejack, who is going to raise the sun now that Daybreaker is frozen in stone?” I ask the earth pony, who just shrugs her hooves.
“No idea, sugarcube, maybe everything will just move on it’s own? Is that possible?”
Well, what am I supposed to tell her, that it’s possible in another universe? Nah, that’ll make her and everypony else confused. What I DO know is that now that both sisters are gone, somepony new is going to lead Equestria.
“I just had a brilliant idea on how Equestria is going to be led.”, quickly summoning a quill and parchment.
“I read somewhere that the griffons have their own method of government called “democracy”, where everypony gets to say how they want the country to be run. Let’s think!”
"Wait a moment , Twilight! Isn't that letting 'too many cooks in the kitchen', as the old saying goes? Nopony can agree on everything!"
I let my five friends come up with ideas for the Equestrian Constitution, and we enshrined Friendship into law, and not Celestia’s fake friendship, but ACTUAL friendship with everypony and every creature.
A few months passed, and Equestria held their first democratic election ever! Rarity’s Generosity Party won a majority in the Horseshoe (that’s what we are calling our parliament), securing herself a four year term as prime minister. Everything seemed to be going well, but I couldn’t stop thinking about the Jewnicorn .
Now, I didn’t have a fillyhood crush on him or anything, but he was something different . Something Equestria never had before. I tried contacting him to his world, but it seems the connection was severed by Daybreaker before we defeated her. That really sucks! That is, until Spike was cleaning things out from the library (I made him do chores - with no tools or outside help - for a whole year as punishment for ratting me out) and found a letter with a Lunar Crescent seal on it.
“Hm? What’s this?”, grabbing the letter with my magic.
“TO TWILIGHT SPARKLE”
I quickly ripped it open:
“Twilight Sparkle, If you are reading this, congrats! You and your friends defeated my sister once and for all, although at a heavy price with my passing. I must be frank with you, I never knew you as well as my sister did. Regardless, your leadership skills are remarkable and something to be marveled at. I wrote a letter to the Jewnicorn, too, telling him what I am about to tell you. It’s not the magical abilities you have that give magic to your world, it’s your VALUES that bring magic.
For you, it’s Friendship (and now with a bit of Torah, too!), and for Jewnicorn, it is his heritage and collective memory. While our two worlds are no longer connected, I feel that there is something greater that connects our realities, and maybe a smart mare like you could figure a few things out? It would be a shame for Jewnicorn to never access his magic again!
Thank you for saving my kingdom from itself,
Princess (Nightmare Moon) Luna.
Well, Princess Luna certainly knew how to write a good letter! I’ll give her that.
“SPIKE! FIND A BOOK FOR ME ON OTHER WORLDS, PLEASE! I HAVE A DEBT TO PAY!” I yell down the stairs.
“Here you go. 9 more months of slave labor left, I guess.” , I heard Spike mutter under his breath.
The fact he can still live here is proof I love him. If I wasn’t his mother, and he did something like that to me, he’d be out on the street!
***
Summer of 2021
A year and a bit has passed, and I just turned 18 years old (that is, assuming the ten millennia of frozen time didn’t happen). I graduated high school, got accepted to Yeshiva University with honors, and was well on my way to getting my BA in Political Science. Every night I continue to think about my time in Equestria, and how it shaped me. I have noticed a few weird things lately, that could potentially be related to pony stuff. For example, when I was davening Mincha last week at shul, I could have sworn that time froze for three seconds . Now, even if I COULD still manipulate time, I wouldn’t do it in shul.
Maybe Twilight is figuring something out? I don’t know, but it would really be cool if I could see this other Luna. I miss her so much.
September 4th, 2021
I was getting ready for Rosh Hashanah, which was two days away. It was also a Shmitta year coming up, so it was an EXTRA special Rosh Hashana. I was putting away all of mom’s groceries again while I was listening to a shiur on the Sabbatical cycle in Israel. Chores suck, especially when you don’t have alicorn-tier superpowers to make it easier! Anyway, I finally got all my stuff done, and mom let me go back to my room to continue learning.
I saw Luna’s seal poking out of my bookshelf, and I thought for a moment about the time we spent together.
“Noah “Jewnicorn” Weinstein, Doth thou heareth me?”
Woah, I must be hallucinating. That sounds almost EXACTLY like my teacher, but if she was in Shakespeare’s England.
Even if it was her, the connection to our worlds was severed almost two years ago. No way it could be a Luna.
Until I realized that the letter mentioned a different Equestria .
“Jewnicorn? We are in need of thy help. ‘Tis a matter of great importance and involves thy Talmudic mind.”
No. Bucking. Way! It is Princess Luna, but where is she coming from? My head? The walls?
And then, I feel something I haven’t felt in two years. MAGIC COURSING THROUGH MY VEINS. AND ALICORN MAGIC AT THAT!
A portal opens in front of me, revealing a familiar cosmic purple pony.
“Jewnicorn, hurry u-”
I hugged her as tightly as I could, saying:
“I am so happy to see you, boss! What are we gonna do?”
“Well, it ties in quite well with thy magic skill set, involving memory and time. A pony by the name of Starlight Glimmer opened a school for young fillies and colts, and she needs somepony who knows about time to find out about other universes. Art thou ready to become Alicorn of Time once again?”
“ Na’aseh v’nishma. I will do, and then I will listen.” I reply, quoting Exodus.
I follow my teacher into the portal, letting my alicorn form come to me once again.
I’m finally home.
THE END
Author's Note
AUTHOR'S NOTE:
GLOSSARY:
Morah: Hebrew for Teacher (feminine conjugation) Selicha U’Mechila: Literally repentance and forgiveness. A key theme of Yom Kippur.
Koheles: Also pronounced Kohelet, in English Ecclesiates. A book of the Old Testament full of parables and allegory. (Zecora would probably like it!)
Shmitta: Sabbatical Year. Occurs once every seven years. It involves ceasing all agricultural work in Israel.
Shehecheyanu: A blessing recited during festive occasions, once in a lifetime events, and when doing something new.
