Chapters The Eclectic Adventures of Pinkie Pie and the Walls of Fiction
11:47 P.M. 1/5/12
"Holy banana fetus, batman!!!" exclaimed a young boy with red spandex and a yellow cape going by the name of Robin. "I caught dinner!"
"Yes…" Batman assured, eyeballing the dead skunk in Robin’s hand.
The bat cave was as cold as a winter night after a Nor’easter. The two men were in that cave for days, playing Skyrim and eating Cheetos because Robin got the Mansion foreclosed by telling the cops it was infested with ghosts. They had a green plumber try and pacify it, but instead he fell and broke his spine, and the building was deemed condemned.
"I don’t need you kid, LEAVE!" Batman exclaimed. His voice boomed in Robin's ears, shocking him. Robin was taken aback by Batman's sudden anger.
"Fine!" Robin shot back without thought. "I'll make my own DREAM TEAM! It will consist of a bunch of reject heroes I'll find off the street! I'll call them the Teen Titans II! We'll put you into commission, old man!"
A deafening silence smothered the cave after that was said. Batman had a face, contorted with anger and fear of what he was going to do to Robin. Snot froze onto his nose due to the cold weather. Wind blew in through the cracks that felt like knives stabbing though once warm skin. The temperature only made Batman angrier.
Robin then realized he was royally screwed. So, he grew the enormous balls needed to slowly walk up to batman, angry as he was, slap him in the face with his cape, then he when the extra mile and walked over to the fridge and opened it. The coldness has doubled. Batman's face no longer looked like a face. It was so twisted with rage, that it looked more like an anus. Bat man's blood boiled to the point where he was no longer cold. The atmosphere of the room was thick. Robin was legally screwed.
Just to make matters worse for Batman, Robin had a case of the dumb, and could not brain. He walked aimlessly around the room until he finally laid eyes on the bat mobile, the only thing Batman had left since Robin pawned all his shit to the Mario Bros. for candy.
"Don't you dare." Batman said with a tone that would make the gods piss sea salt.
Two seconds after that was said, Robin kicked open the window, attempting the get in the car and make a smooth escape, but batman had already got up to wreck his shit.
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This was the beginning of the Team Batman vs. Team Robin showdown. This story is too epic to be told by one person. I'm Haruhi Suzumiya. I'm going to be narrating this story from the heavens behind the 4th and 5th walls. I'll be assisted by Leonardo, Donatello, Raphael, and Michelangelo. A.K.A. The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Right now, they are having a conference with Zeus, the top dog up here in the 5th wall. Apparently Michelangelo ticked him off. They'll be back to help me narrate shortly. Till then, let's take a look at our 'mane' character. A pink pony from a place called Ponyville named Pinkie Pie.
Pinkie cried her last tear as she put down the candy wrapper.
"THEY'RE ALL GONE!!! NO MORE HERSHEY KISSES FOR PINKIE!!!....Oh, and I guess it's a problem that Rainbow dash is dead."
Pinkie stared at the rainbow-manned pony. Dead. On the floor. She choked on a super sour candy, but Pinkie Pie was too bouncy to notice her plea for air. Pinkie realized that she was standing on Dash's Tail and immediately stepped off.
"Huh...She seemed so full of life then POOF! Now she's dead.....Whelp! See you in the after party, Dashie!"
The scene had taken place at sugar cube corner right behind the counter. The room looked strangely eclectic due to the types of candy that littered the ground. It was as if someone got a large box of empty candy wrappers and dumped it onto the floor in one area by the door, then swept some of it toward the counter where a bigger pile lay.
Using my master detective skills, I can tell that Pinkie and Dash had just won a lifetime supply of candy, and they couldn't wait to eat it, so they ate an insane amount right there at the door where the mess begins.
Everything seemed to go smoothly as the two laughed and ate and bounced about, till Rainbow swallowed a warhead super sour candy the wrong way. The burning sensation must have been as painful as swallowing sharp obsidian doused in salt.
On Rainbow's last few seconds of life, Pinkie plunged her hoof into the huge bag of happiness for another Hershey treat. Sadly, there were no more. As Pinkie searched the bag, and with Rainbow Dash long dead, she realized her journey into the bag was futile. No Hershey kisses were left, and there was no air left in Rainbow's lungs. Pinkie realized Rainbow Dash wasn't talking anymore, a little too late. Pinkie saw that Dash was dead, and treated the problem as a fixable one...
Haruhi: Oh, You're back, how did It go with Zeus?
Leo: He's still pretty butt-hurt about the prank we pulled on him.
Haruhi: Seriously? Wow... Well I'm narrating a story.
Raph: The one about the cotton candy colored pony dying?
Haruhi: Yeah. Hey, how's about I change the ending of this story?
Don: Why? I rather like the ending where Pinkie gets executed for murder. It was Unexpected. Quite entertaining.
Haruhi: How's about I change it up a bit and help Pinkie out?
Mich: GNARLY!!!!! You should totally do it! Help the pink one ou...
Pinkie: Huh, who's there? Help me with what?
Haruhi: Well, well...She just broke the 5th wall.
Mich: 5th? I thought there were only 4.
Don: Seriously? Don't you remember?
Mich: What? I don't pay much attention.
Don: *sigh* Basically, there are 5 walls of Fiction Reality. These walls can be known as the fabric of time and space. Between each wall is a certain place in which the wall separates.:
The first wall is known as the psyche wall and separates a character's mind and their surroundings.
Mich:.....huh? Oh cool story, bro.
Don: GET REAL! I just explained what goes on around the universe and beyond!!! You should be impressed.
Haruhi: Donatello, You narrate the story, I'm gonna go down there and inform Pinkie Pie of her powers. Soon she'll be able you use them to finish the other story about Batman and Robin.
Leo: That story hasn't been finished? Well, I guess the mutant ninja horse can fix it.
Raph: I thought it was a pony. Man, this just don't seem right...
Haruhi: ENOUGH. Okay, you guys cover for me. If Zeus finds out, it's 400 centuries in Hades. I'm out...
Leo: Okay, see ya Haruhi!
Raph & Mich: Later!
Don:
The corridor is a beautiful place.
The sky is the color of bright emerald blue as Haruhi stood on a grassy, jagged mountain. Rocks make the edifice of this giant foothold while the mountain stood prominent, towering over a sea that looked like the sky's twin sister. In this fragment of the universe, no sound was audible. Only a dull ringing from the ears trying to comprehend what was going on. Haruhi had come from the sky where it looked like the sun was shining, but there is no sun in the corridor. The light came from nowhere.
Haruhi will have to slowly and safely start her decent from the summit all the way 5 miles down. The ocean was the 4th wall. She looked at the rocks that could support her weight and looked down, estimating how long it would take for her to get down.
"Fuck that." Haruhi concluded, taking a leap of faith into the sky sea. She plummeted all the way down into the water. As soon as she hit the water's surface, space-time delayed. Haruhi was traveling in slow motion, fully aware of what was going on. The water was not a liquid as she hit the sea. No, it was more like a crude solid. It was like a giant water balloon filled with tar hit her in the face, but didn't pop. The solid soon returned to its liquid state, allowing Haruhi to pass through it. Once Haruhi was fully submerged, a quarter of a second later, she was no longer diving through water. She was now being shot upwards.
Basically, as Haruhi entered the 4th wall , via being retarded and pulling an Ezio off a mountain, she flew through the water at a speed the corridor could not follow. She was going down in the corridor, which is going up in the 4th wall.
Haruhi violently flew upwards out of the water, which ended up being a puddle in the other world. Her nose was bleeding violently. The ruby streams puddled onto her white tee shirt and shorts. Surprisingly, Haruhi isn't wet at all after her journey. She stood up out of the puddle and held her nose closed, blood flowing onto her arm.
At least I'm in Ponyville . Haruhi thought.
She had never been to Ponyville, with the hay-topped houses on stone streets, but knows it all the same. She was a god amongst men, or...mares in this case. She walked over to what would be Sugar Cube Corner. She was almost too late. The police stallions were by her door, about to buy doughnuts and to find out about Pinkie's mistake. Haruhi had read the story this way to herself many times. How police brutality wasn't a crime in Ponyville because they barely ever needed police. Haruhi knew what she had to do.
Haruhi pulled out a silenced Glock 18 that she had just conjured up. In sliver letters on the top, it read: PLOT
Haruhi pulled the trigger and held onto it until the pistol finished it's violent seizure and was a few grams lighter. The police stallions were dead. Blood splattered everywhere. Haruhi crushed the pistol in her hands and set the pieces on fire, so as to not leave evidence. She also picked up the two stallions and head-butted them, and they simply disappeared into thin air. Haruhi returned her hand to her nose and held is shut as she used her free hand to open the door to sugar cube corner.
"I DIDN'T DO IT!" Pinkie screamed with eyes closed as soon as Haruhi walked in.
Haruhi walked right past Pinkie ,who was trembling, and began to nurse her hemorrhaging face. She took a seat behind the counter, as if she were totally forgetting what she is there to do. She grabbed the bridge of her nose, snapped it back into place, and got up. She headed toward the kitchen where she knew Pinkie had a sink and washed the blood off her face. Haruhi looked annoyed because she probably knows that we're all laughing our shells off up here. After she was done with her face, she grabbed a towel and went outside to wash away the evidence. On her way back in, she changed the 'OPEN' sign to 'GO AWAY' and locked the door.
"Pinkie, It's okay." Haruhi said in a normal tone. "I want to help you."
Pinkie removed her hooves off her face and looked up in a curious way.
"You look pretty ugly for a pony." Pinkie said blatantly.
"I'm not a pony, I wanna help you."
"My friend is dead."
"I know. I can give you the things you'll need to resurrect her."
"What do I need?"
"Well, you need the 7 dragon balls. You put them together and make a wish"
"Heh heh he....dragon balls"
"Be serious for a second...oh....wait..Did I just tell Pinkie to be serious? Never mind."
"So, can ya give me these *giggle* DRAGON BALLS *pfft* so I can revive Dashie?"
"Well, you have to do me a favor first...."
"Wat"
"You see, I'm a god, and I like to read stories....but there is this one story I cannot finish because it has no end. I was wondering if you can use the elements of harmony to finish it with a happy end."
"OH! Sure, sure, I have the elements. I used them to cosplay as a rapper. MC Pink. Yo yo!....Eh well it was funny at the party, but oh well. How do I finish the story?"
"Okay, I'm gonna send you to Gotham City where..."
"Batmare?!"
"Close...You're going to stop a bloody battle between two good friends who are currently breaking the 3rd wall to find people for an army against each other. Now, I've seen you break the 5th wall...you heard us talking up there didn't you?"
"Oh yeah, that was you? And some turtle called me a mutant?"
"Well yeah, but..."
"I'm not a mutant, silly!"
"I know, you're being difficult, I wanna help you, but you gotta help me. Use your powers of fiction to stop this war. Got it?"
"Can I have a lift to Gotham? I dunno the way."
"Of course."
And with that, the two finally shut up and made moves. Haruhi put two fingers to her head and focused. Hard. Pinkie put her hoof on Haruhi and they teleported to Gotham city.
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The Eclectic Adventures of Pinkie Pie and the Walls of Fiction
Raph: How's the nose?
Everyone else: **Chuckle**
Haruhi: Hah....funny....I got Pinkie safely to Gotham.
Mich: Can you smell anymore?
Haruhi: I'm going to start narrating now....
4:52 P.M. 1/6/12
"Roll call!" Batman screamed. His men stood attention.
"When I say you name, yell 'HERE' Red ranger!"
"Wat." Red ranger said, and was instantly shot with a bat gun, which was a shot gun with a cardboard cutout of a bat symbol on it due to Batman being poor now.
"WHEN I CALL YOUR NAME...." Batman repeated with anger enunciating every syllable. "......SAY HERE BUGS BUNNY"
"Here, doc...." The hare said, casually munching on a carrot.
"Buzz Lightyear"
"At your ser..." Batman grabbed the toy by the arm and slammed it on the ground till the batteries flew out. He threw the remains into the hobo fire in the middle of the cave, which also worked as a light. The cave was illuminated by the fire, making everyone in the room look ominous, so everyone was scared and trying to leave a good impression.
"SILENT SNAKE..."
"Here" The sound omitted from a cardboard box on the floor.
"Samus"
"Here....." An annoyed voice omitted from a chrome orange mech suit.
"Dead pool"
"I have to say 'here’, right?" A crimson suited man said sarcastically.
"HOW'S ABOUT I SLAP YOUR SHIT?" an annoyed batman said in all seriousness.
"....sorry."
"MEGA MAN!"
"Here" A cerulean blue soldier said with professionalism.
"MICKEY MOUSE!"
"Ha ha! Here! Ha ha!" The big eared cynical bastard we all know answered.
"JAK AND DAXTER"
"Here" A tall young man with long ears said with confidence and a hint of anger
"SONIC"
"Right here" A pure blue hedgehog who sounded pretty bored.
"PERRY THE PLATYPUS"
"..."
"PERRY!" Batman echoed himself in rage.
Perry simply waved his brown fedora in the air.
"...Burger king"
"Here"
"LINK!"
"Here" a young man sharpening his sword answered strongly.
"TIMMY TURNER!"
"Here" A shivering young boy in a pink hat with bucked teeth answered holding a strange pink lunchbox and green shoes.
"Okay.... Roll call is over...YEAH!"
As soon as batman had yelled 'yeah', a large pitcher of rose-red juice busted in through the wall of the cave, letting cold air in.
"I want in." Kool Aid Man stated.
Batman was so angry he popped a blood vessel in his face.
"ARHG!!!!!" Batman fell on the floor and rolled into the hobo fire, burning his cape and putting the fire out all at once.
"NNOOOOOOO!!!!!" Batman screamed, firing a huge laser out of his eyes. The light amplification by stimulated emission of radiation hit the Kool Aid Man with a plethora of amazing colors that illuminated the whole room. Batman made that laser out of pure anger. The laser was a symbol that he had hit rock bottom. You’ll understand when you’re a god. Kool aid man was nowhere to be found.
Bat man was hunched over and was breathing very heavily. He turned his head around to look at his army.
“WHAT ARE YOU STARING AT?!”
“Gee, you’re not the only one with anger issues, Jak” Daxter whispered with a smart ass tone.
"WHO SAID THAT?!" Bat man asked with a face more of concern than anger. He was concerned that the laser was going to obliterate his whole army before they could finish Robin. He clenched his eyes closed.
Everyone stared in disappointment at the once great hero who began crying.
"I...I need to take a walk." Batman said, under his cracking breath. Tears saying good bye to one another on his face and falling to the floor as he walked out of the cave.
After a few minutes passed, someone finally spoke, and everyone felt relived.
"Control your pet," Link said, in a more jokingly tone,"he could have cost us our life."
Everyone laughed. It was as if Batman held the burden of all the stress and took it with him when he left.
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Haruhi: *yawn* It's time for my 1,000 year nap.
Raph: I wanna see someone get owned.
Don: You're such a brute.
Raph: This is no time for Halo references.
Don: *sigh*
Mich: Haruhi, can't you take your nap after we've finished the story? I'd like to know what the pink horse is doing in Gotham.
Haruhi: Fine, I'll take an hour long nap. In the meantime, why don't one of you narrate and tell me what happens.
Leo: We can do that. Sweet dreams.
Haruhi: Whatever.
All 4 turtles: ... I WANNA NARRATE!
Mich: Rock paper scissors.
All 4 turtles: ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS, SHOOT!
Don: A four-way draw with rock, eh?
All 4 turtles: ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS, SHOOT!
Raph: Another tie...
All 4 turtles: ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS, SHOOT!
Mich: We all win again.....or lose....
All 4 turtles: ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS, SHOOT!
Don: Yet another stalemate....
Leo: Alright, hows about one of us stop picking rock and we'll get somewhere.
All 4 turtles: ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS, SHOOT!
Raph: Now it's all paper. You know what? Let's fight for it.
Mich: Raphael, you narrate.
Raph: I don't really want to. Donnie?
Don: I narrated before, though.
Leo: Guess I'll have to narrate.
Mich: Try to use fancy words like Donatello did.
Don: And don't leave out crucial details.
Raph: Yeah, and don't make me fall asleep.
Leo:
12:45 A.M. 1/6/12
Well, Pinkie pie was walking around Gotham city expecting see Batman and Robin fighting already. She didn't know the city would be so big. Sky scrapers seemed so tall, Pinkie thought they started from the sky and only stopped because the ground was in the way. Loud noises from cars, horns, sirens... a cacophony of abstract noise that Pinkie wasn't familiar with, like the sound of engines bustling or police cars blaring their alarms. Everyone in the city seemed to be in a hurry. Pinkie was yet to see one smile since she got there. She saw a lot of the humans talking to themselves with strange devices in their ears. They were all like busy ants walking around the anthills that were the big buildings. She felt so out of place.
"Hey!" Pinkie said to a tall, dense man in a grey hoodie, "Do you know where I can find batman?"
"Aw what da fuck?!" The man said, jumping back while performing a double take. He took one last, long look and ran."It must be the crack!"
"Oh..." Pinkie said, soul shattered.
She trotted down the sidewalk with less people, bouncing every time she had to cross a street and returning to her trotting as she walked on the side walk. She began to sing a song to pass the time and probably to see a smile:
"Don't worry, my Dashie, everything will be fine!
I'll save you before anypony can drop a dime of my crime or send shivers down a another pony's spine!
With the dragon balls, I will save you after all, screaming where I'm from on a quest to bring the air back to your lungs!
Pinkie started to really get into her song and started bouncing the whole way.
"Wait for me, My Dashie, I'll deck through all the halls and bust through all five walls.
After everypony thought I'd turn you into a cupcake, and my hoof-print on your tail,
But don't think about that at all with the seven dragon balls and the elements of harmony
As soon as pinkie finished her song with a yeah, the large building to her left blew up a little.
The Kool Aid Man ran toward Pinkie, not knowing she was there, and tripped over her, leaving her in a static position. It was as if the breeze hit her.
"Oh! I'm sorry!" Pinkie apologized.
The Kool aid man's liquids drained out into the street and into the gutters. It resembled blood, only not as thick.
"Urm..okay." Pinkie said and surprisingly replied: "Suave te cognoscere est!" and went on her merry way as police hand cuffed Kool Aid Man and put him away for good.
Batman was found in his bat suit, covered in burns and dirt. The people of Gotham just assumed he saved the day once again.
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The Eclectic Adventures of Pinkie Pie and the Walls of Fiction
MEANWHILE:
11:12 A.M. 1/7/12
Robin was sitting down with his face buried into his hands. He was extremely depressed.
A cold breeze welcomed the small army standing on the beautiful red-orange tiles of the cathedral. The sun beamed on them, but not giving them enough heat for it to be considered warm out. I guess if the breeze wasn't there, it would be luke-warm outside.
"Okay...." Robin finally said.
"Robin's about to take attendance," a small little girl in a pink shirt said.
Robin sobbed. He'd obviously looked in the wrong places for solders.
"....Ronald McDonald.."
"Hi-ya!" A clown waved his hands sided to side quickly. He was excited to be there.
"...angry bird...thing...."
"CAW!" A huge red, round bird waddled around in circles. It looked like It wanted to kill something.
"Rebeca Black....."
"Hello..." A nervous looking girl looked like she was suffering from acrophobia.
"....Barney"
"Oh *chuckle* That's me!"
Robin took a deep breath as he watched the purple dinosaur giggle.
"...Plex the magic robot..."
"Salutations, friend!" A yellow robot exclaimed happily while making a million hand gestures
"......Dora the explorer..''
"He called us! I need you to stand up please....stand up......now raise your arm in the air and say: Here!......Here!"
Robin started to cry.
"Oh no..." A little girl with two big buns in her hair sighed
"Robin looks sad!.... Why do you think he's sad? I don't know either, but:
"....Kai-lan" Robin said through his tears"
"Oh! That's me!" The little girl with the buns answered.
"Whinny the Pooh"
"mmmmm" Pooh was too busy eating honey to answer quick enough.
"Hey!" A young, brown bear called attention to himself as he stood on a higher section of the roof.
"Little bear, I guess" Robin accurately stated.
"I'm here." and old woman in a red dress answered while rocking on a rocking chair that got on the roof somehow.
"Spongebob..."
"I'M READY"
Robin was about to pass out from how horrible his line up of men and women were. He had no hope, until four young solders climbed up the Duomo and walked towards Robin.
"Greetings, Robin! It has been so long since our last encounter!"
Robin suddenly grew a smile that The Joker would envy. It was the Teen Titans. Star fire, a tall, humanoid alien with emerald green eyes, greeted Robin. Robin had lead the teen titans once before, so he was familiar with the team.
"Starfire, Cyborg, Beastboy, Raven....you guys haven't changed a bit!" Robin said with a smirk. He had the thought of standing on Batman's head with his team striking an epic pose behind him.
Starfire looked at Robin with a disappointed face, then looked back at the other titans.
"Beast boy had not been that same since you left. He became very sad. He tried to deal with it by....'snorting the good stuff' as he said."
"Also, Cyborg kept telling me there was something missing and he shut down. I'm not good with computers, but I downloaded this program called 'Windows xp' onto him. He started working, but he's also not the same. He keeps saying 'a problem has occurred' and 'bluescreen.exe has failed to run.'"
Robin's smile was slowly depleting. Gravity became a strong force on his facial muscles.
"Raven isn't doing too well either. She purposely harms herself and repeats 'Life is pain' over and over again."
Robin looked over at Raven, who was staring at the streets below and was contemplating something. Robin shed one last tear and grabbed Starfire in a tight embrace. Hugging her close.
The two were about to share a kiss when the sun was eclipsed by a shadow. Robin and Starfire looked up at what they thought to be a hawk of some sort. It was quickly descending on them. Soon what they thought to be a hawk was actually a man in a white suit that looked like it dated back to the Renaissance era. He wore a hood over his head to conceal his Identity. He was wielding a blade that protruded from his wrist.
"Non timere mortem ....amplecti pulchritudinem.....Requiescat in pace" The man spoke recognizably in Latin with an old Italian accent as he closed Starfire's bright green eyes that stared into space, pupils dilated. The man went as he came, quick and with grace. He leapt off the building into a soft landing elsewhere. Robin caught a glimpse of a small pink bow tied to his shoe.
"For Batman!!!" The man screamed.
Robin had a defeated look on his face. He walked over to Starfire's corpse and examined it. He never though she could die. Such ignorance cost him his instant realization of what had just happened. It took him a few minutes till it finally settled in.
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Haruhi: I'm awake. What did I miss?
Raph: You missed the horse singing.
Mich: The tune is stuck in my head. *hums*
Leo: The song was pretty good. You also missed the part where Pinkie speaks Latin.
Don: And the part were Starfire gets murdered by a mysterious assassin.
Haruhi: Gee....thank for filling me in by not filling me in at all. *sigh*
1/7/12 10:15 A.M.
The church was dark and dusty as little sunlight peered it's way into the rows of benches in the church through a stained glass window above the walls. The stain glass picture was Jesus staring down at the rows on a crucifix. The other windows were lined up on the left and right sides of the church and they were pictures of the saints.
In the benches of the church lay a select few people. Masters. Elite in what they do. Hand picked by someone who plotted harm against whomever tried to stop the fight between Batman and Robin. In the front of the church, where the the preacher is to stand, appeared a small white cat in an unchanging expression. Hello Kitty.
Hello Kitty was very upset to have been turned down by both Batman AND Robin. She thought that if she couldn't be a part of their team, she'd make her own team. She was angry. So angry at the two of them that she didn't want a winner in the fight between the two partners. She wanted a bloody stalemate. Her plan was simple. Build a covert army of experts. Plan clandestine assassinations of each team's top operatives, and sit back to watch the mayhem. But why stop there? The kitten thought, with Gotham unprotected, she could rule the city.
"I've gathered you all here today on a mission of revenge." Hello Kitty began her sermon. "Revenge against two men who are prejudice against cute furry kittens!"
"Settle down...I got you all here because I KNOW you guys are capable of taking these guys down. Once they're outta the picture, WE'LL be top dogs,or CATS in this town!"
"I can only do this with your help! Together we can take over Gotham! JOIN OR DIE!"
Everyone cheered. They high-fived one-another and hugged.
"Now STAND ATTENTION!" The Kitten changed her tone. She walked down the aisles and came into the rows.
"Mmm?" The bandicoot shrugged his shoulders and looked up at the cat.
"Not much of a talker,eh? I got my eye on you."
The kitten walked down pews and personally met her army.
"Shadow...." The black humanoid Hedgehog saluted the kitten.
"PIKA PIKA!"
"Reimu Hakurei...Will you donate to my..."
"I'm Ratchet, and this is Clank. Reporting for duty, ma'am."
"I'm Megaman.exe. Glad to be on the team." The navy blue net-navi will be a fine addition to the team.
"WAKA...WAKA...WAKA..." A giant yellow sphere stared back at Hello Kitty. She was confused, but grateful nonetheless.
"I'm Don Patch." An orange ball of spikes answered to Kitty.
Hello kitty couldn't have asked for a better army.
"State your names."
"I'm Bear Grylls. I'm up for a challenge."
The first two men wore casual clothing and had English accents. The second man is a dirty blonde while the first man had dark hair.
"Ezio." The Kitty had repeated the third man's name.
"I have a job for you. I saw Robin's team climb the Duomo. I'm guessing you know where the Duomo is?"
"Yes..."
"Get up there and kill one of his allies. Try to pin it on Batman."
"Nessun problema." He answered as he took a bow. He popped his hood onto his head and exited out of an open window just above his seat.
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The Eclectic Adventures of Pinkie Pie and the Walls of Fiction
Haruhi: Anyone want some snacks?
Leo: CRAP! That reminds me about the pizza in the oven!
Raph: I assumed the burning smell was just fire.
Haruhi: I'll eat burnt pizza. Hey, we're getting to the part were Pinkie meets Batman's team, wanna narrate, Michelangelo?
Mich: Wat.
Don: Mikey? Narrate? Pffft.
Mich: HEY, HEY I can narrate!
Mich:
"Well yea.."
"I'm not a mutant, silly!"
"I know, you're being difficult, I wanna help you, but you gotta help me. Use your powers of fiction to stop this war. Got it?"
"Can I have a lift to Gotham? I dunno the way."
"Of course."
A yellow colored horse thing walked over to the Sugar Cube Corner because she overheard the conversation between Haruhi and Pinkie, but she didn't know who the people were. It's name was Flubber....no Fluttershy. She saw the sign that read 'GO AWAY' on it.
"Oh my," she said. She walked away from the building and tripped on a pebble. It hurt a lot. She looked at her leg-thing. It was red.
Don: Enough. No more. I'll narrate.
Leo: Thanks, Donnie.
Mich: Aww...
Haruhi: You did just fine, Mike.
Raph: Like hell he did.
Don:
The sun was setting on Gotham city and lights began to illuminate from the inside of the buildings.
"Hey!" Pinkie called the kids over. They didn't seemed freaked out by her appearance, so that was a start.
"Hi! I'm Pinkie Pie!"
"Hey! You look pretty outta place. I'm Ferb, and this is my brother Phineas."
The boy beside Ferb waved his hand.
"I'm looking for Batman! Or Robin...whoever is closer. Can anypony tell me where I can find them?"
"Well, there's Dexter over there. He knows everything! He's the red head back there."
The boy pointed over to a very small boy with glasses examining a fire fly with a magnifying glass.
"Hi-ya!" Pinkie waved at the boy.
"Hmm...a talking candy colored equine. That's not normal."
"How are you today?"
"I'm looking for a batman or a robin."
"I know where Batman's cave is."
"Really?! Tell me tell me tell me!"
"I'll tell you," Dexter said "If you beat me in a duel!"
"A duel! Sure! What kind of duel?"
"A y\Yu-gi-oh duel!"
"A wat?"
"You know, a Yu-gi-oh duel."
"Urm.... okay..."
And with that, Dexter reached into his pocket and pulled out a bail of Yu-gi-oh cards. He split the deck in half and gave it to Pinkie.
"Pssst..." Pinkie whispered as Dexter was examining his deck thoroughly.
"Yes?" Dexter whispered back.
"I betcha don't know where batman lives."
"Up the street. It's the big cave opening. You can't miss it."
"Thanks."
Pinkie put the cards down slowly. And walked away.
Dexter was so engrossed in his cards he didn't notice her leave.
Pinkie galloped up the road in search for Batman's cave. Three minutes into her search, she found something better. She found Batman himself.
"Hey! Hey! Batman! I wanna talk to you!"
The man in black turned to look at the bright colored equine. He thought it was some sort of metaphoric sign, so he walked over to examine her.
"Yes, candy horse?"
"My name is Pinkie Pie! I was looking for you everywhere! I wanna talk to you about the fight between you and your pal, Robin."
Batman looked away is disgust.
"He ain't my pal..."
"That's not true! C'mon Batty! I can't help you If you won't help me help you!"
Batman gave in. He sat on the grass and examined his surroundings. He was in a small section of the suburbs where there were no houses. Just up the road was his bat cave. Fireflies floated around the grass that wasn't too green due to the cold.
"Well.....He made me very angry and very homeless." Batman started.
"Go on. Seriously, Batman, I wanna help you!" Pinkie repeated herself.
"Robin got my house condemned with his stupid lies about how it was possessed. I don't know why he'd do such a thing. Then he tried to pawn all my things to the Mario Bros. to buy ourselves some food. He spent it all on candy.....Perhaps he did it because I didn't let him in on the next mission to Iran. It was too dangerous for him to come with me."
"So you cared for his safety, but he took it the wrong way."
"Most likely....yeah."
" Well, thanks batman! I'm Sure Robin was just disappointed that he couldn't go on a mission with you! How's about I go ask Robin?"
"Yeah....I'd like to know his side of the story. But I hear he left the country."
"Where?"
"Florence Italy or something...maybe Venice."
"I'll try the first place. Floor-rinse"
Pinkie put her hoof on her head and concentrated very hard for 6 seconds.
"Is Floor-rinse a place with red roofs and stuff?"
"Yeah."
"Okie-dokie-lokie!"
And with that, Pinkie disappeared right before Batman's eyes. Batman assumed he was drinking the good stuff. So he shuffled his way home to lay down.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Haruhi: I got the snacks. A hero sandwich, pizza, which by the way, wasn't burnt at all ya know. It was just fire. I also got some potato chips, and the souls of the condemned.
Raph: I call the souls!
Don: Oh! I'll have some souls with my pizza too, if you don't mind!
Mich: Pfft, more sandwich for me, then!
Leo: *whew* The pizza wasn't burned! I'll have a slice with some potato chips.
Haruhi: Hey,hey,hey, how's the story coming along?
Don: Pinkie used the instant transmission to get to Florence after she learned Batman's side of the story. She now seeks Robin.
Haruhi: Okay, you guys eat. I'll narrate. I'm not too hungry yet.
2:03 P.M. 1/7/12
Robin and his army of girl scouts and losers marched away from the Duomo to bury Starfire's dead body in an open field.
"Why isn't she moving?" Kai-lan asked.
"She's dead." Dora answered in a tone as if she were talking to a baby.
"No more talking." Robin said with no emotion in his voice.
Robin was a walking zombie holding Starfire bride-style with his mouth open and staring into space. Then, out of seemingly nowhere, a quick flash of pink flashed before Robin's eyes. It quickly materialized in the shape of a horse.
"Hi, I'm Pinkie pie!" The horse spoke. Robin was completely unphased by Pinkie's introduction and entrance. Pinkie then continued.
"I'd like to know why you're so upset with Batm..."
"He just killed my friend."
"How?!" Pinkie was shocked.
"He sent this assassin after me."
"Do you know that the assassin was his?"
"He yelled 'for Batman' "
"I doubt Batman sent that assassin..."
"Then who did?!?" Robin raised his voice so that all of Europe could hear.
"Why, I dunno, Robin...sorry for your loss." Pinkie's smile lingered on her face, but her eyes began to dim.
"Whadda ya want, candied mule?"
"I wanna know why you pawned all of Batman's stuff."
"I had the balls."
"But why?"
"He wouldn't let me go on a mission. I left the Teen Titans to work with the old man, and he blows me off. My friend is running on Windows XP now because I left the team. My other friend is now suicidal and lastly, my third friend does drugs!"
"DRUGS?!" A green boy at the back of Robin's crowd yelled. "Where...h-h-how much? I got fifty on me right now...."
"NO! NO DRUGS FOR YOU!.....So, as you can see, I got kinda mad at Batman and I really want to whoop his ass for what he did to Starfire."
"Well, did you know Batman just cared for your safety, and thought that his mission was too dangerous for you?"
"Pfft. I doubt he cared enough to baby me." Robin looked away in anger.
"No really, he meant you no harm."
Robin lowered his eyes. He took a few minutes to think about what Pinkie was saying to him.
"Well, duh! You think he was gonna except you back just to hate you?"
"I guess you're right...."
"Do you wanna go see batman?"
The answer for this question took a while, but Pinkie was glad to get it.
"Yeah.....after I bury Starfire."
"Wait. Tell me...how much money did you sell Batman's things for?"
"What?"
"How much?"
"I..I don't know what you mean."
"The numbers. The price. Come on, I gotta get this info outta you so you and Batman can make up."
"I don't have to tell you..."
Pinkie became slightly hostile.
"The NUMBERS! How much Robin?!"
"What do you want from me?!
"THE DAMN NUMBERS, ROBIN! WHAT ARE THEY?!"
"Eighty grand!"
Pinkie did a double take. 80000Bt.?! She then leveled her head when she realized Bits are worth more than dollars, so $80,000.00 Isn't worth as much as 80000Bt. but was still shocked none the less. "HOW MUCH CANDY CAN YOU BUY WITH THAT MONEY, ROBIN?!"
"Why do you need to know?!"
"I know you didn't just WALK to Floor-rinse. You must have pocketed Batman's money. You should be a good friend and get some of his things back."
"......Alright....We'll stop at the Pawn shop back in Gotham..."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The Eclectic Adventures of Pinkie Pie and the Walls of Fiction
~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Haruhi: Really?! No one ate the sandwich I slaved over? Mikey, seriously, I thought you wanted the sandwich.
Mich: But the souls of condemned came out EPIC!!!!
Haruhi: Okay... I guess I'll eat the sandwich.
Raph: I wanna narrate.
Haruhi: Sure, go ahead. I'll be eating this hero sammich all by myself.
Raph:
The pink horse and Robin made there way to Gotham using Pinkie's Instant transmission. Pinkie thought that her powers really came in handy. When the two came close to the bat lair, Batman and his team were just walking out. As soon as Batman's crew saw Robin, they were rippin'. Everyone had weapon's drawn to Robin and Pinkie.
"Wait!" Pinkie pleaded. "You guys have to hear what Robin has to say! Batman, you should listen."
Batman raised his hand and gestured everyone to drop their gats.
"Batman," Robin began, " I'm sorry I pawned all your things to the Marios and told the F.B.I. that our house was haunted. I was just so mad when you wouldn't let me go on that mission."
"It was too dangerous," Batman said, quickly, like he wanted to winter wrap this shit up.
"Pinkie told me you cared about my safety."
"Yeah...."
"So....you don't hate me?"
"............................................................no."
After that, Batman's team let out an 'Awwww' but an aw of, like, ....disappointment. Pinkie did that bouncing nonsense again.
"Yay! You guys have made up now?"
"I guess so.." Batman said.
Ugh...this is getting gushy! I wanna see someone get owned. Oh Great! The Kitten is here! This is gonna get good!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Don: Seriously, Raph? You can't take any sentiment? Come on, this was a pretty good part.
Mich: Maybe you should Narrate now, Don.
Don: I'm purposely saving my turn for a certain part. Where the story escalates and gets really action packed.
Mich: Can I narrate again?
Leo: Whoa there.........you can narrate, but you have to have very important details in there so that the readers know what you're talking about.
Mich: I can do that.
Haruhi: This is a damn good sandwich. Wow.
Michelangelo:
In the big black, starry, black holey, abyss of space lie a big building that was really big and had windows that were square. Inside those windows were square rooms. Square rooms where the windows were, yeah. Inside them was a group of very good captains who wore captain's clothes.
"Captain Falcon," some guy named Captain America who wore the American flag said. "It's come to my attention that there is a big fight between two young men In Gotham that started a while ago."
"Why is this of our concern?" Captain Falcon asked the American flag man.
"It's of our concern," Another guy named Captain Planet said. "Because the young men are ripping holes in the space-time rift. If this fight continues, it could cost us our universe, and I'd hate to be shit out of a universe."
"How do you plan to stop this?" Some guy in a colonial-like suit named Captain Crunch asked.
"Well, we could just kill the two and be on our merry way." Falcon said.
"Very well," Crunch said. "Patch in the Star Fox Team." The captain said as he hit a red button on this black square phone thing.
A big flat square T.V. thing popped out of nowhere, but not really out of nowhere, and it had a picture of a fox on it.
"Fox!" Captain crunch said. "We need you to exterminate a Batman and a Robin for acts of ripping holes in the space-time rift. They are currently on Earth, North America, Gotham City. 100% accurate longitude and latitude are currently unknown for suspects are on a constant move."
"Roger" The fox on the square, flat, T.V. talked. "We are in U.D.P. en route to Earth. Will arrive at designated location in T- 45 minutes. We're patching in 'Quantum clean up' team 9 to fix any significant space-time damages......Quantum clean up, this is team Star Fox, over.
Another face popped up on the screen. It was blurry. The voice also sounded like it was on a bad radio.
"This is quantum clean up team. What's your status? Over."
"We're en route to Earth to stop a problem. We need you to scan the Milky Way for any quantum distortions and patch them up A.S.A.P. Over."
"Copy that. U.D.P. en route to the East of the Milky Way and will make a standard '6 scan' across to the West. Over."
"Negative. A standard scan will not pick up many readings. Try a 'Figure 8' starting north. Over."
"Roger that. U.D.P. en route to northern Milky way to perform an Alpha DLX 'Figure eight'. Over"
The T.V. then turned off. The captains then began to talk about other stuff.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Leo: You're not too good of a Narrator, Mikey. I barely understood what the space station looked like. Also, I didn't understand what they were saying. U.P.D.?
Don: Nice try, Mike. And it's U.D.P. 'Unidirectional Position'.
Mich: You guys are harsh. I'm gonna write a book one day.
Raph: PFFFFT WHAT?! HA!
Haruhi: Be nice! I'm gonna narrate now.
3:41 P.M. 1/7/12
The huge hole that once burdened the Bat cave with unfathomable coldness was patched up with cardboard. Batman and Robin are friends again, but then, suddenly and unexpectedly, a group of skilled assassin's dressed in black hoodies and bandanas on their faces popped in. They were all holding XM8 assault rifles and H&K G11s.
They shot up everything. The loud noises from the automatic rifles were brutal on their own, not to mention getting hit by one of the bullets themselves. The Batmobile took one too many bullets to the hood and blew up. Rather than hurting anyone but Batman and two of his team members, it blew a huge, wide open hole in the back of the cave.
Batman had been drinking. So he thought he could fend off an army of trained assassins with his batgun. The cardboard cutout of the batman insignia was falling off because it was only being held on with cheap electrical tape. Batman was physically there, but mentally, he was running on bullshit and fairy tales. In a drunken stumble forward out of cover, Batman got into position to shoot while he sang the batman theme song.
"Dun nu nu nu nu nu nu nu nu nu BATMAN!"
"Batman! No!" Pinkie screamed.
In an act of quick thinking, Pinkie dove for Batman to get him out of the line of fire before the assassins could finish reloading. As they hit the ground, Pinkie stole batman's batgun and fired a shot at one of the assassins. The assassin clutched the trigger on his G11 as a reflex and began to blindly fire around the cave, killing one other assassin. With the two assassin's dead, the rest considered retreating.
"Come on," one of the assassin's said in an Italian accent.
"To Rhode island!" Another very short assassin with whiskers and a harmless voice said as she instant transmitted away, leaving two dead assassins there.
It wasn't much of a bloodbath, but a mess none the less.Thousands upon thousands of 4.73x33mm bullet casings on the ground, bullet holes everywhere, small pools of blood by the two dead assassins, and car parts everywhere. Surprisingly, there was no fire. The smell of gun powder lingered, and the smell of the dead bodies were already potent. Not to mention the huge hole now in Batman's cave. It began to snow, and the flurries infiltrated the cave, and it got drastically colder.
Everyone in the cave looked at Robin. Batman looked at him with a face much worse than the last time they saw each other. He was so angry, his toes hurt. Batman quickly ran over to the dead bodies to examine their faces. It was Ronald Mc Donald and Barney the dinosaur. They were, oddly frowning, and they will be forever. Due to the cold, you could see the air rise from their wounds.
Batman knew Barney and Ronald worked for Robin, so he did what he had to do. He went to wreck his shit. Once and for all.
"Robin, you flatfooted butt-monger!" Batman cocked his fist back, but before he could rearrange Robin's face, Pinkie stopped him.
"Wait! Look at the bodies again!" Pinkie pleaded.
Batman threw Robin against the wall. He swaggered over to the bodies and examined them. After a few short seconds, he realized that their hands have been tied to the guns.
"Robin's been framed!" Pinkie concluded.
"Batman looked around his cave that was now screwed beyond repair. He shook his head slowly and rose back on his feet."
"Maybe.....it wasn't you, Robin. "
"Darn right!"
Batman had a serious case of the dumb. He charged over to Robin and drop kicked him in the throat. Batman then kicked the living crap out of him for a solid 45 minutes. No one tried to stop him 'cause they were beyond surprised that he would do such a thing. However, someone yelled 'Finish him!' He then put Robin back on his feet and stepped 6 meters back. Batman then ducked down in a crouched position and performed a 'Haidoken'.
Pinkie saw the haidoken, and pushed Robin out of the way, instantly. She then ran up to Batman, picking up a blunt piece of debris and knocked him unconscious.
"I'm goin' to Rhode Island. Pinkie stated." And galloped out through the huge hole, without any question or hesitation.
"Where's Rhode island?"
".....Kitty....I work for the little white kitty..."
"Not Robin?" Pinkie was surprised, and very relieved.
"No, the kitty wants Robin and Batman to kill each other. She's not really going to Rhode Island, bambina cavallo . The Kitty is heading back to Firenze until things cool down. She'll be back to have Batman, Robin, and you killed."
"Why are you telling me all this?"
"There's something unholy about that gatto...Do what you must."
"So....where's Firenze?"
"It's Florence." the former assassin said in a giggle.
Pinkie stepped off of him as he slipped into oblivion, shut his eyes and muttered:pars est finita....ito domum. Requiescat in pace ." Meaning: Party's over go home. Rest in peace.
Pinkie placed her hoof upon her forehead once more and found herself in Italy seconds after.
Pinkie walked around Florence, in search of Hello kitty. She got into a gondola and rode it toward the duomo.
"You!!" Pinkie screamed.
Hello kitty turned her head around. When she saw it was Pinkie, her body followed.
"How did you know I was here?" Kitty asked jokingly, not really caring about the answer.
"That's not important! You could have ended a friendship!"
"You mean I didn't?" Kitty asked, confused.
"No. I know you did this. Robin was sorry for what he did."
"What a shame. I'll just have to kill them myself."
"I don't think so..." Pinkie said in a serious tone.
"Ugh......you shouldn't have done that." Hello Kitty warned.
The little white cat suddenly emitted an aura of blue flames around her. Small pebbles floated off the ground and swirled around her.
Pinkie landed on the ground with a huge thud. They ended up in a grassy area outside of the city. Pinkie got up with ease, as if the events that had just occurred were just a dream. Pinkie took one look at Hello Kitty and held her hooves out in-front of her. A small, pink ball of concentrated energy began to form in Pinkie's hooves. The ball got larger by the second till it was the size of Pinkie's head. She held the ball of energy back as if she were about to throw it.
"Okiiiiiiiiie......." Pinkie said slowly began to say her catch phase.
Kitty became confused.
"Dokieeeeeeeeeey......"
Now Kitty was getting scared and contemplated running for her life.
"Lokieeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!" Pinkie screamed as she threw her hooves back out in-front of her. The pink ball of energy became a huge beam of destruction. The laser fired for a good 30 seconds. After the laser cleared, it left the charred remains of anything in the way. Flowers, grass, and trees were now soot, ashes, and creosote. Small embers still lingered on the ground hopping every which way. At the very end of the devastation about 60 yards away, Hello Kitty lay there. Unmoving.
This reminded Pinkie of something.... The bat lair! Batman was gonna wake up and murder Robin any second. Robin probably can't move after the ass whooping that took place over there. Pinkie quickly put her hoof to her forehead and tried to go back to the bat cave, but something wasn't right. Pinkie wasn't instant transmitting anymore. She tried five more times till she realized her attempts were futile. On that note she began to run back to Gotham on foot...or hoof.
After about 34 hours of non stop, painful running, Pinkie had made it to Rome. There, she would buy a ticket back to Gotham. She scanned the wonderful city and took a look at the coliseum. It was night time out, so it had lights pointing on it, giving it a nice warm glow. The city was similar to Gotham, only the people were a lot calmer here. Pinkie finally laid eyes on the airport and walked toward it.
"Can't let you do that, Pinkie Pie."
Pinkie looked up in the air to see 5 high tech hovering aircraft above her. It was the star fox team. 4 of the planes were small, one maned fighter planes, while the 5th was bigger and looked like it carried personal.
"This is Captain Crunch." A voice emitted from the larger plane.
"I can't! I have to go save Batman and Robin!"
"Then you are a threat to our mission, and therefore must be terminated."
On that note, the 4 fighter jets aimed their noses at Pinkie and waited.
"You have on more chance....Stop what you are doing."
"No." Pinkie said in a childish tone.
"Star Fox team. Weapons free." The larger ship took off as the other 4 remained to carry out orders.
With those words that Pinkie didn't really understand, the planes all shot huge green lasers out of their noses. Pinkie dodged them all by ducking and weaving in a zig-zaged path. After the firing stopped for a split second, Pinkie began to run.
"Alright team!" A fox from one of the fighter planes said. "All-range-mode!"
The planes took a second to adjust their wings and then they flew toward Pinkie and shot everything up, attempting to avoid collateral damages to any person or property of Rome.
Pinkie laid on the ground, suffering from blast injury from the laser.
"Head for original location, team." The fox commanded, and all the planes flew away towards Gotham.
Pinkie laid there on the ground staring at the moon and wondered if she would save Rainbow Dash. She also wondered if the police found the body yet. Did anyone notice Rainbow Dash was gone? Did anyone notice she was gone? She continued staring at the moon and began to pray.
"Luna........Princess of the night....I need your guidance to set things right. Things will not always go my way, but I need them to, so to you I pray."
"I'm here, my child." A tall, elegant alicorn stood behind Pinkie, looking down on her. Her mane resembled the night sky, dark blue and beautiful. It was Princess Luna. She looked at Pinkie with an expression of power.
"Luna!" Pinkie got up just to bow. "I need your help! I need to stop those planes from getting to Gotham before I do!!"
Luna looked into the sky and saw the steaks of jet fuel mark the night sky that she brought forth. She disliked it.
"Mount my back, Pink one. We must catch those vandals."
Pinkie slowly grew a smile wide as the Pacific Ocean. Her eyes glimmered as she climbed onto Luna's back.
"Thank you Lun-AAAAA!!!!!"
Luna took off as fast as a bullet before Pinkie could finish talking. They soared hundreds of feet into the air before Luna set course for team Star Fox. Within mere minutes, Luna had caught up to the planes.
"BLASPHEMERS!!!! THOU HAD SCARED OUR SCARED NIGHT SKY!"
"Fox! Get these guys off me!!" A young green frog pleaded from his jet.
"YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!!! Brace yourself, child."
"SLIPPY!!!!" A cocky blue bird named Falco in one of the jets exclaimed.
"Alright team," Fox said, very irate, "Batman and Robin will have to wait..."
After 15 minutes passed, Luna and Pinkie destroyed all but one jet. It was Fox's. Luna and Fox were 80 yards apart, facing each other. The moon shined bright and big besides them. Fox's plane, A.K.A. the 'Arwing', was suffering damages in the wings and nose. It barely hung in the air. Luna was doing just fine. She had a scratch or two, but she wasn't in any pain.
"Star Fox team, assemble the super mech."
The arwing that Luna had knocked down first still had a breathing pilot. This irritated Luna, so she fired a beam of lethal magic down toward him, but the little frog pilot had used a piece of debris as a makeshift barrier.
"Okay Fox! I downloaded the blue prints from the Voltron Force! Our arwings will be able to make a giant mech bot!"
"Alright, get into formation team!"
Suddenly, all of the ruble and debris of the fallen airplanes combined together, causing a fog of smoke and dust to kick into the air. Fox's arwing flew into the fog to begin the transformation, which took about a minute. Once the smoke cleared, Luna and Pinkie laid their eyes on a large humanoid robot. Luna was unimpressed. The robot rose it's arm into the air and charged a beam. Luna just sat there in the sky and watched. The charged beam then flew into the air towards Luna, who underestimated it's power. Luna was hit with the beam and was badly injured.
Luna plummeted down toward the ground, dropping Pinkie, who grabbed onto the giant mech's arm. Luna hit the Earth with a thud. She picked herself up easily and shrugged off the pain.
".....This looks like something Optimus can handle...." Luna muttered to herself. "OPTIMUS PRIME! I HAVE AIDED YOU! THE TIME FOR YOU TO PAY BACK THE DEBT IS NIGH! I SUMMON THEE!"
Luna yelled into the night, expecting to see an old acquaintance.
"SHOW THYSELF!"
Out of nowhere, a six wheeled Peterbilt 379 truck busted through a gate and drove toward Star Fox's mech. The truck then transformed into a robotic human before Luna's eyes and leapt into the air to grab Pinkie Pie, who was about to fall. The robot landed on the ground with a roll and turned back into it's vehicle form with one swift move. The truck drove quickly over to Luna and began to speak.
"Your majesty, I apologize for my tardiness..." The truck's voice was strong and very professionally spoken.
"Apologize with action, Optimus Prime. Destroy the monstrosity , and all thy debts shall be paid." Luna pointed toward the mech and grinned.
"Not a problem." Prime said, transforming back into his robot form and tossing Pinkie onto his shoulder. He then jogged over to the Robot and punched a hole through it with ease, murdering two of four pilots. The opposing mech then tried to throw a right hook, but it failed when Prime grabbed it's arm and yanked it off, killing another pilot.
"Pink Pony!" Optimus yelled at the tiny pink dot on his shoulder and extended his arm, pointing at the mech's head. "Run across my arm and take out the pilot!"
Pinkie grinned. "Okie dokie lokie!"
Pinkie galloped along Prime's arm and drop-kicked through the cockpit of the mech. Inside, she saw Fox. Fox tried to kick Pinkie in the face, but Pinkie was quick, and grabbed Fox's blaster rifle from the glove compartment. Pinkie shot Fox 3 times in the torso, then charged the blaster and blew the top off of the cock pit. She climbed out and ran back to Optimus Prime.
"Good work." Prime stated as he hurled the mech into the air.
Optimus placed Pinkie down where Luna was sitting.
"Your debts are of the past." Luna concluded as she flew gracefully into the night sky.
Optimus Prime looked up at the moon, and was about to take off. Then, randomly, Prime was denied an escape when he took 21 R.P.G.s to the chest. He exploded into a billion pieces.
Pinkie looked over to where the rockets came from, and there she saw Hello Kitty and her elite task force, all armed with R.P.G.s.
"Didja miss me?" Kitty asked, reloading her R.P.G.
"Well, not really. If I missed ya, I wouldn't have tried to kill ya in the first place!" Pinkie yelled back, very upset at the loss of a newly made friend.
Kitty wasn't amused. "Have fun in hell, Pink Horse!"
"Fun?" Pinkimena stared at Kitty and her team. "I don't think so."
Kitty looks over to Shadow, who is to her left.
"Shadow, what does that device of yours say about Pinkie's power levels?"
"It's in scientific notation......" Shadow said, scared.
"Well what is it?"
".....9 times 10 to the power of 9001....."
"Wat." Kitty slowly turned around to the rest of her team.
"ALRIGHT!" GET INTO POSITION!"
With that said, Shadow's once black fur turned golden yellow and he began to glow. Behind them, the once small orange spike ball that was Don Patch was now a yellow winged Professional Patch. Everyone on Kitty's team changed into something super powerful.
"Don...." Kitty said.
"You go first..."
"With great pleasure. I'll do it professionally."
Don flew down toward Pinkie at a good speed with his fist cocked back. Pinkamena stood there and simply extended her hoof out toward Patch. Professional Patch flew into her hoof and was socked in the face. Then a large, black beam of antimatter launched from Pinkamena's hoof, obliterating Patch from existence. The antimatter fired into the sky and left a small black hole in the air. Reality began to slowly engulf itself, until Pinkamena closed the black hole with her hooves as if it were just a window shade.
"Kirby, your next."
"Poyo!"
The small pink ball waddled toward Pinkamena and before he could do anything, Pinkamena opened her mouth and swallowed Kirby whole.
"Oh." Kitty said in a voice of defeat.
Pinkamena then then charged a ball of antimatter in her hands and launched it toward the team. Kitty ducked, and the ball of intense dark energy was flung over her head.
Meanwhile, somewhere in Rhode island at a Walmart super market, a hefty man named Peter Griffon and another man with yellow tinted skin by the name of Homer Simpson were fighting over the last pack of Oreos.
"Gimme them Oreos, ya bastard!" Peter said in his Boston accent.
"But I was here first! The only way to settle this is a fight to the death!" Homer declared.
"Hey, Mandy!" A young boy with a huge nose called over to his blonde friend. "These two fat guys are gonna kill each other!"
"This could be interesting..." Mandy said with her usual monotone.
Suddenly, the store became dark and a huge ball of dark energy burst through and destroyed everything. The remains of the store were sent to another universe due to the quantum imbalance.
Back in Rome, Pinkamena had wrecked Kitty's team, and turned back into Pinkie. She had already galloped away and was trying to find a quicker route to Gotham, due to the fact that she still couldn't teleport.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The Eclectic Adventures of Pinkie Pie and the Walls of Fiction
It was nighttime at the bat lair, and Batman's team had returned and watched Batman hand Robin his ass. Batman was pulling some street fighter on Robin for what he'd done.
"Flawless Victory." Someone in the crowed stated as Robin fell to the floor.
Batman raised his hands in the air and whooped "YEAH!"
That's when Batman's last wall burst open. Kool Aid man?
No. Pinkie Pie. She drove through the wall with perfect timing and dove out of the car, 'cause it was going WAY to fast to stop it. Johnny had been dropped off in California 7 minutes prior.
"Batman! None of this is Robin's fault! He's innocent!"
"He killed Cosmo and Wanda." Batman said quickly and mad. "I saw him"
"Fairies don't die from shotguns, silly!" Timmy Turner spoke up in the background.
"Well...." Pinkie started, "Robin is completely innocent. As Innocent as a cricket! Well, I don't find them to innocent after that one night but anyways, there was this evil little Kitten named Hello Kitty! She tried to stop your friendship. I dunno why, but she DID, and I stopped her. "
Batman looked at Pinkie....then to Robin's unmoving body on the floor....then to Pinkie.....then back to Robin....then back over to the Pink mare....then back to the carcass. "Okay. All is forgiven. Next time Robin won't be so lucky."
"Whew! Oh good! I-"
"FUS RO DAH!"
Pinkie was flung about 12 feet to her left. As she hit the ground, she turned to her right and saw something that almost stopped her candied heart.
She was still in her Avatar-State-Super-Saiyan-4 form.
"Thought you got rid of me?" She asked with a smirk....well, Kitty smirk.
Pinkie replied in a nod.
"You didn't think it would be that easy, did you?" Kitty asked.
"Ya know.." Pinkie started "..for a second there....yeah, I did."
No one could quite understand what was going on fully, but it didn't matter. By the time someone was about to ask what the heck was going on, Pinkie had totally destroyed the 3rd and 4th wall by reaching into her mane and pulling out a blue light saber. It illuminated the whole area, making everything around Pinkie blue, because it was dark out.
Everyone was astonished. Except Kitty, who's Avatar-State-Super-Sayan-4 aura light dimmed a bit. Kitty used her Avatar powers to break the 3rd and 4th wall also, only not as subtly as Pinkie did. She simply pulled her own saber out of thin air with the sound of fabric tearing.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Leo: Raph, you may want to narrate for the fight.
Raph: Damn right I do!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Raph:
Pinkie stood up as things got tense. All eyes were on Pinkie and Kitty. Kitty activated her light saber and it was ruby red. The two light sabers' colors made purple between them. Pinkie was ready to make the first move, and she did. She launched a downward slash toward Kitty's head, but she dodged it with a simple side step, and countered it with a heavy kick to the gut. The kick was so hard Pinkie was popped up in the air for a bit, and Kitty (using her Earth-bending) raised parts of the Earth to juggle Pinkie in the air. Pinkie remained airborne until Kitty got in a good position to end the fight quick with a swift slash with the saber. Acting fast, Pinkie deflected the strike with her light saber and landed right back on her feet...er...hooves.
Kitty and Pinkie went at it for a good 5 minutes as everyone watched in awe. Every-time the sabers smashed each-other, the area shined purple and small sparks flew.
Finally, That Kitty had enough. She used her fire bending to star a small fire under Pinkie's hoof. She got the reaction she hoped for (Pinkie to jump up and down in pain) and took full advantage by knocking her off balance. It must be hard for ponies to stand upright. Kitty then knocked homegirl on the head with the hard end of the light saber. She was out cold.
"Pinkie." A familiar voice echoed in Pinkie's head.
"Pinkie!"
Pinkie awoke to nothing but pure white. She was in nothing. Just blank space. Sounds boring. Anyway, she heard laughing that sounded just like her's.
"Who is that?" She asked out loud.
"SURPRISE!" Pinkie was shocked and she let out a cry. There was another white horse that looked like the spittin' image of Pinkie, only her hair was blonde and she had wings and white fur. She was like an angel version of Pinkie or something.
"Who are you?" Pinkie asked, breathing heavy-like.
"I already toldja!" The white Pinkie said. "Surprise! I'm Surprise! The concept character you were based off of!"
"Oh! Cool!" Pinkie bounced as if she knew what Surprise was talking about. "I was supposed to be a pegasus! Sweet!
"Yeah! Pretty neat, huh? Okay, let's make this quick. You're only going to be unconscious for a second."
"Unconscious?"
"Anyway, I realized you cannot use instant transmission anymore."
"Yeah....bummer. It's really REALLY helped me out!"
"I know! HEY! You know what? How's about I teach you how to open up some wormholes?"
Pinkie then started to laugh "Why would I want to dig up worm holes?"
"Ha ha ha! No silly! Not THOSE worm holes. I mean 4-dimentional rifts in quantum foam by distortion of the space time rift which provides a form of superluminal travel through spacetime at any given moment in time."
"Come again?"
"A shortcut!"
"Goody! I love shortcuts! I love them more than TALLcuts even though I've never seen a tallcut before ever ever ever in my life."
"Then lets get started! Put your hoof out infront of you."
Pinkie did what the white horse told her to.
"Now pretend your waxing a car."
Pinkie moved her and in circles.
"No wax on."
Pinkie circled her han- ...hoof in the other direction
"wax off"
Pinkie changed direction again.
"Wax on......wax off.....wax on...... wax off......"
*30 minutes later*
Pinkie was still moving her hoof around in circles while Surprise had found herself a lawn chair, a sun hat, a parasol, and sunglasses. She was livin' it up.
"Ummm Surprise?"
"That doesn't sound like waxing a car..."
"That's the thing.....why do I know what a car is and how to wax it?"
Surprise raised her shades at Pinkie and gave her a mean look. Pinkie continued waxing the air.
After 45 more minutes, Pinkie gave up.
"Surprise, I wanna make a wormhole now. Why was I waxing an air car?"
"Oh. I wanted to stare at your amazing flank."
"Wat."
"I'm kidding silly! Wax on!"
"No. I'm not going to-"
Surprise's voice turned slightly demonic.
"WAX ON!"
Pinkie moved her hand in a circle again when Surprise high-fived her.
"Now wax off." Surprise said, smiling.
Pinkie moved her hand in the other direction when suddenly a big ball of.....uh....
~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Mich: Don, how's about you narrate. I don't understand this crap.
Don: If I must.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Don:
Pinkie motioned her hand counterclockwise when a sphere of warped reality materialized behind Surprise.
"Wax on." Surprise commanded
Pinkie obeyed gleefully knowing her bide had paid off.
Suddenly, another sphere of warped reality appeared In front of Pinkie. Pinkie glared at it and saw Surprise's rump and her own face as if it were all through a fish lens camera. She cocked her head to the side to see past the sphere to look at the other one.
"Hooray! You made a wormhole, Pinkie!"
Surprise demonstrated it's usage by trotting through Pinkie's first sphere and came out of the second.
"By waxing on, you created the destination you were thinking of. The exit mouth of the worm hole. By waxing off, you opened it's entrance mouth."
"....sorry for thinking about your flank."
"I made you think about it, silly filly! That's why I made that joke earlier. I didn't want you to open a portal in a volcano!"
"That's TOTALLY what I was thinking of!"
"You see? The wormhole method is WAY more effective than your silly old 'instant transmission' and you don't need protection from the Novikov self-consistency principle and won't corrupt your astronomical agency. It would take you 8 years to hit Pluto if you used Instant transmit. Wormholes just bring you there with no delay. Now if you wanna go forward in time, all you gotta do is remember this simple equation: ds^2=-c^2dt^2+dl^2=(k^k^2+l^2) (d-"
"MAAKIT STOP!" Pinkie exclaimed. "Please!"
"Oh....okay. See ya some other time then?"
"Okay...."
"Love ya Pinkie! Bye!" Surprise gave her pink companion a nuzzle.
Just then, Pinkie regained consciousness to find that Kitty was in striking position with her light saber.
Pinkie and kitty were now both in France where they landed on a cardboard box. Pinkie was first to stand up and she instantly withdrew her light saber and began to attack. Kitty tried to comprehend what was going on as she fiddled for the switch on her saber. Before she could do anything, Kitty was given a kick in the chest, followed by a punch to the face and a huge uppercut that sent kitty flying.
Pinkie opened up another wormhole right below Kitty and opened it's exit elsewhere. When Kitty fell through, Pinkie got a great idea.
Pinkie grabbed the worm hole opening and completely dismantled the 3rd wall by shaping the hole into a zipper. She then jumped in and zipped up the entrance. Pinkie found herself on Pluto with Kitty trying to recover from her attack. To no avail, Pinkie leapt into the air and jumped onto Kitty's back, sliding around on Pluto's slippery and immensely cold surface. Together they slid down a mountain and were approaching a rock ramp. Pinkie eyeballed the galaxy around her and picked a destination. She then swirled her hand and opened a wormhole somewhere. Kitty screamed inaudibly in agony as they zoomed down the mountain.
Pinkie grabbed Kitty's ears and steered Kitty toward the ramp. Pinkie opened a portal 13 feet away from the ramp.
They were nearing the ramp so Pinkie stood on her hind legs. When they flew off the ramp, Pinkie jumped off of Kitty and drop-kicked her into the wormhole. Pinkie quickly launched herself forward and dove into the wormhole.
Pinkie and Kitty were now in an Asteroid belt. Kitty was catching her breath and wiping blood off her face as she floated about. When Pinkie came though, she landed on and asteroid and kicked it over to Kitty. Pinkie wasted no time in making another wormhole, so she grabbed kitty and made a new one.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~/ /~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Pinkie: WEEEE!!!!!!
Kitty: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
Leo: Whoa!
Haruhi: There goes the 5th wall.
Don: Astonishing!
Raph: WHAT ARE THEY DOING HERE?!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~
After all that, the two ended up in the middle of no where in space. There isn't any sound in space, however, now Kitty and Pinkie could her an extremely loud roar. The sound could probably be described as a very very low hum. Pinkie looked to her left to see a super-massive black hole eating a star. Kitty was afraid and Pinkie knew it. Pinkie lunged at her and punched her furiously and repetitively. The two hurtled toward the event horizon of the black hole. Just before the two could be spagettified, (Real term, by the way) Pinkie sent them both to the Amazon rainforest.
It was dim out and the sound of the animals and rain was abundant. Rain water went up to Pinkie's chest while on all fours and the only light was the light shining off the water reflected from the moon.
Kitty was floating lifelessly on the water.
Pinkie swam-trotted away when:
"P-Pinkie.....please...give me some of your energy."
"What?"
"give me your energy..."
"Okay....but I'll only give you enough to find food here. You'll have to do the rest on your own."
Pinkie donated a fraction of her energy and gave it to Kitty and finally walked away.
"I'm the strongest....I'm the AVATAR!"
Pinkie got agitated and kept walking. She walked on for about a mile when she felt immense energy behind her.
Pinkie looked back casually then turned around very furiously. Her hair went straight and her coat turned dark. Pinkie cocked her head back and screamed.
"YOU FOOOOOOL!!!!!!!!!!!" And a laser of pure dark energy burst out from her mouth. It shot back and blew everything in that direction to smithereens.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The Eclectic Adventures of Pinkie Pie and the Walls of Fiction
Haruhi: She did it.
Don: What? Make a huge mess here for me to clean?
Haruhi: No...well yes, but no. She finished our story.
Leo: I thought she had to get Batman and Robin to become friends again.
Haruhi: I'm going down there to congratulate Pinkie.
Zeus: What are you 5 doing?
Haruhi,Mike,Don,Raph,Leo: OH SHIT.
Zeus: I am aware of your doings....It's fine. Honestly, as long as you're not setting whoopee cushions on people's chairs when they attend important meetings...
Mike and Raph: *snicker*
Zeus: ...then I don't care. You know what? I will narrate.
Haruhi: Wat.
Zeus: Haruhi, Take the portal this time. I don't want your nose blood everywhere.
Turtles: Pfft! HA HA!
Haruhi: ...
Zeus
Haruhi arrived right next to Pinkie with a scowl on her face.
"Congratz, Pinkie."
"Oh boy! Am I glad to see you! Can I save my friend now?"
"You did well, Pinkie. The things you need will be waiting for you in your kitchen."
"YES!!! Wait, I didn't use the element of harmony...."
"Forget it, you finished the story. I know it."
Haruhi instant transmitted them over to Kitty who was buried in a crater.
"I would have gotten away with this if it weren't for that stupid pony." Those were Kitty's last words for Haruhi threw a boulder on her and that was the end of it.
"Let's go to the bat lair." Haruhi suggested, and without any objection, they were there and the place was empty.
Pinkie was confused, but Haruhi re-assured her that Pinkie fulfilled her end of the deal.
"I gotta go, Pinkie" Haruhi huffed.
"Okay! Thanks for everything!"
~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Sugarcube corner.
Pinkie trotted up to sugarcube corner to find that the police were there. A large, black carriage in front read (In old Canterlot letters) PONYVILLE CARRIAGE CORONER SERVICE
Pinkie rushed over to her house without being seen. She hid beside the steps where she saw Mrs.Cake speaking to a police officer.
"Ma'am, have you seen this Mare? We suspect she could have been here at the time of death."
Mrs. Cake looked like she had been crying all day. She shook her head slowly as Pinkie slunk over to the window.
Pinkie couldn't open the window, so she got in using a small wormhole so as to not attract attention.
Pinkie saw what she needed. 7 dragon-balls, and some power stars.
Pinkie didn't know how to use them, so she beat Rainbow dash with them until she got a response. Sure enough, she did. Rainbow coughed up congealed blood and a candy wrapper and started to breathe again for the first time in a week.
"GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAA.....haa.......DEAR CELESTIA!" Dash screamed.
"DASHIE!" Pinkie cried and jumped over to embrace her now living friend. She cried tears of joy and couldn't help but nuzzle Dash's face.
Then the door burst open.
"FREEZE!"
Everyone saw Pinkie and Dash cuddled in a corner, all guns aimed at the smiling pink mare who had been through everything and back.
"What the hell just happened?" Dash asked as Pinkie was thrown in jail for conspiracy and attempted murder.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Haruhi:......
Leo: ...
Mich: Wat.
Zeus: Now stop fooling around.
Don: We only worked really hard to AVOID this kind of ending.
Zeus: Come again?
Don: Nothing, sir.
Zeus: The story wasn't even entertaining.
Raph: ...
Zeus: Farewell
Haruhi: ...why
APPENDIX
Twilight Sparkle:
Dear Princess Celestia,
Today I learned that Spike can fit a whole book in his nose! If you put you mind to something, and try your best and avoid collapsing your sinuses, you can do anything. I also learned that if Rose has enough butter, she can.....
~Your faithful Student, Twilight Sparkle.
P.S. Help me, Twilight is crazy and she drank a gallon of cider. Send help
-Spike
P.P.S. I didn't want this book in my nose.
The Eclectic Adventures of Pinkie Pie and the Walls of Fiction
Haruhi: Do you want to narrate now, Don?
Don: I thought you'd never ask.
Mich: Well, come on! I wanna know what happens next!
Don:
Hello Kitty picked herself up and aided her team. She even took the time to nurse some of their wounds.
"Guys...I have a confession to make..." The Kitty spoke to her team.
"I....I.....I'm the Avatar."
"Wat." Her whole team spoke in unison.
"Yeah. I can bend all four elements."
This kinda shocked her group of assassins. They just sat there and looked at her.
"Okay....I didn't want to tell anyone, but it's true. But now I have to bring balance to the world by killing Batman, Robin, AND that horrid pink pony."
Kitty then moved her paws in a circular motion. The earth around her began to shift and move until it finally broke and swirled around Kitty. The wind began to pick up and suddenly formed a circular tornado that enclosed her. Water from the sky's clouds were collected and simply swished in mid air, joining the wind and the stones. Finally, a ring of fire formed around the huge ball of elements and joined. The sphere of energy held Hello Kitty for a minute, then when it disappeared, Kitty was there with a golden aura surrounding her. Her once white fur was now bright, glowing blonde. Her cute, coal black eyes were now the color of ruby red blood.
"I'll be back." Kitty said in a voice that was no longer hers. It sounded more womanly now compared to her once innocent tone.
Back to Pinkie Pie, who had just picked up a young canine boy named Inuyasha and a handsome blonde man named Johny Bravo.
"You guys ready to kick it to overdrive?" Pinkie asked.
"Whoooa there little pony ," Johnny said, overwhelmed by the speed and grasping the dashboard from the passenger's seat, "ain't this already over drive?"
"Find your courage." Inuyasha barked, sitting nonchalantly on the truck of the high tech racecar.
"Inuyasha is right, Johnny! Just sit tight, and-"
Just as Pinkie said 'sit' Inuyasha was flung back off the car. He face planted the asphalt of the road while inertia keep his body moving. The street acted like a cheese grater on his face. Pinkie was going about .7 miles a second so as soon as Inuyasha hit the street, Pinkie knew he was gone.
"I guess it was his stop." Johnny giggled.
Pinkie scanned her surroundings. She saw a large suspension bridge in the distance. A beautiful sunrise caused the buildings of the city to look like shadows.
"Looks like we're in San Fransisco!" Pinkie exclaimed.
Johny perked up and performed a double take. "Hey! Weren't we just back in Rome?"
Somewhere downtown, a girl scout by the name of Bessy Higenbottom was helping an elderly woman cross the street. She smiled as she counted the badges on her sash that represented her feats of success . However, her lack of awareness cost her the amount of time needed to get back onto the sidewalk as a speeding racecar plowed through her. The old lady however, was left totally unharmed.
Pinkie was going too fast to realize she just killed someone, so she kept going.
"Hold on batman!!!" Pinkie yelled to the wind "I'm comin'!"
Meanwhile at the bat lair, Batman had regained consciousness, and was in the room with no one but a battered and bruised Robin. It was only logical to assume that Robin had bashed his head with a blunt object, especially because the bloody debris was on the floor next to Robin. The blunt piece of bat car that Pinkie used to subdue Batman was envisioned as an attempted murder weapon against him.
"You FOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Batman yelled at the top of his lungs as he lunged himself forward to reach toward the batgun. Batman's jump came up a bit short, and he landed right in-front of the gun flat on his face. In self defense, Robin intercepted the shotgun before Batman could grab it.
Batman began to sob. He sat up slowly as Robin aimed the batgun at him to keep him at bay. Batman cocked his head back and teared up.
"C-Cosmo, Wanda," Batman began. " I wish I had all my things back....I wish I never met Robin, and I wish my batgun looked 20% cooler!"
Suddenly, two large headed fairies floated up from under some rubble. They were holding wands and they started to wave them when they were denied with buckshot. The two fairies, Cosmo and Wanda, were shot by Robin out of pure impulse, or fear. He killed both of them with one shot. Batman turned to the dead Fairy God Parents.
"NNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!" Batman yelled for a minute straight letting out all the passion of his pain. During which, a small beam of light emitted from his mouth. Within seconds, the small beam of light became a powerful ultra inferred laser that melted the light spectrum around it. The beam was exponentially stronger than the first time he fired one from his eyes. The laser shot through the wall and continued on...
In another town, a hefty red cat and a scrawny, petite, chiwawa were arguing over who will get to watch T.V.
"Gimme the remote, Ren!!!" the cat hissed.
"STIMPY, YOU IDIOT! You are NOT watching a RE-RUN of the muddy mud skipper show!"
"But Reeeen-"
Just across the street, yet another cat by the name of Gumball was playing a game of 'Who can do nothing the longest' with his pudgy orange fish friend, Darwin. The match was vigorous. Neither opponent so much as took a breath as they glared into each others eyes across the room from one another. It was Intense. So intense that when the huge single-spectrum laser burst through the walls of their home, they hardly noticed. They were left unscathed, but the house surrounding them was in shambles.
Back to Pinkie Pie, flying down the civil roads of San Diego at unstoppable speeds, a powerful beam of light struck the road in front of Pinkie. The aftermath of the blast left a huge, flaming pothole
"Gah! We're gonna die!" Johny screamed.
Acting fast, pinkie noticed the hub on the car steering wheel containing 7 buttons. Pinkie quickly selected the "A" button because she assumed the car was more of a Nintendo gaming system. Sure enough, the car sprouted four jacks from the bottom, and it jumped high over the blazing pit. When the car's tires returned to the ground, Pinkie threw the car into a drift, causing it to spin-out and slow down to a stop.
Pinkie scanned her surroundings to see where the laser had come from. However, all she could see what the city skyline under the bright sunrise, a street trolly that had performed an emergency stop, and the flaming pothole she just flew over. She could also only hear the sound of Johny catching his breath, the engine of the car, and the flames behind her. She couldn't see anything else out of place, but she felt a strong disturbance. Her whole body began to bounce and shake.
"Uhhh, Pinkie?" Johny asked confused. "Are you feelin' okay?"
~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Haruhi: Well, Pinkie has come a long way.
Don: Honestly, I didn't think she could progress so far.
Raph: Ya know, Leo didn't get a chance to read.
Mich: But I wanna read again! I think I know how to narrate now!
Leo: Mind as well let Mikey narrate. I'll go on after him. Go ahead, bro.
Mich: Sweet! I read this book called Narrating For Dummies. It was pretty long, but I got through it.
Michelangelo:
In the main room of the large space center, the air was smothered with a deafening silence. Captain Crunch, with brows ruffled and staring blindly at the table before him, took a large swig of whiskey, letting the strong liquid slowly reach it's destination. He was was in mourning of the Star Fox team. The silence only made it hurt more. The eyelids of the four captains acted as dams holding back the flow of tears for their lost comrades.The only sound in the room was the beeping sound of the computers running, and a occasional sliding sound of the automatic doors outside of the room, because like, the main hallway was right outside. Once or twice, the captains would hear a conversation on the station's status report.
The Star Fox Team had been Reported K.I.A. hours ago, but the message they hear still lingered in the Captains ears.
Suddenly, to break the long, tearless sobbing, the large T.V. screen thing came out of comms. table. On it was a old dog, eyes filled with sorrow and anger.
"General Pepper, here." The dog spoke. His voice sounded as if it were coming from a radio. You'd think a T.V. like this would have better sound, right? Okay, so the dog began to talk again, this time he brought up a bunch of pictures of Pinkie Pie on the screen.
"This.....fiend....." Pepper yelled, referring to our hero. "....murdered our friends........Captain crunch." The dogs voice became more professional after he addressed his comrade. A tear escaped when he heard his named called.
"This wasn't your fault.....You may have left the team there in the heat of battle....but you didn't kill them. You trusted them, but...she was too powerful."
Captain crunch looked up at the screen.
"I'll have her head mounted on this dammed wall," Crunch abruptly stood up out of his seat, knocking his chair back as he pointed his finger at a blank space on the wall, his face stricken with grand intensity, "or accidentally blow it up, in the process." Crunch's voice was as cold as the space surrounding the center.
"Alright then," Captain America said with a hint of valor in his voice, "call the troopers, tell them to fire the Precise, Orbital, Omnipotent, Pulse-Laser!"
"That's the spirit, men!" Pepper cheered as he brought up another man on the screen.
"This is O.A. 12, over" The man responded.
"General Pepper, here. I need you to locate the exact longitude and latitude of Pinkie Pie. Fire the P.O.O.P laser on her. She must be neutralized at all costs, over"
"Copy that. We are S.F.T. with the Precise Orbital Omnipotent Pulse Ignition Engine, repeat, we are Searching For Target on the P.O.O.P.I.E.,over."
"Good God...who names these things...."
"Ugh....you do sir, over."
"Oh....okay, fire when ready, solider. We'll be watching, over."
"Copy that."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Don: The laser beam fired by the weapon that the Captains are talking about has about the diameter of a pencil, but has the range of light itself, and twice as fast. It surprisingly requires years of Marksmen training to hit someone with such accuracy from outer space. The beam it fires flashes like lightning, and obliterates what it hits, minus the atmosphere, of course, and then stops, so as to not cause any collateral damage.
Mich: Heh he, It was nothin'
Haruhi: Well, I guess it's Leo's turn now.
Leo: Sure, why not.
Leonardo:
"Mah tail's a twitchin', my eyes are bogglin', my butts a jigglin'" Pinkie stated as Johnny stepped out of the car.
"You're trouble, babeh."
Just then, Pinkie jumped under an awning from the building to her right.
Johnny was just about to ask why she was acting so crazy when a thin red laser flashed vertically from right where Pinkie was standing to above the clouds. The laser was so fast, you couldn't identify what direction is originated in. The sound of the shot sounded like blowing into a thin straw. Johnny was very surprised to see the laser, but after everything else he just went through, he wasn't going too crazy over it or anything.
Pinkie crawled back onto the street, looking up with a serious expression on her face.
"The nerve!" Pinkie growled as she hopped back into the racecar.
Just then, a bunch of heavy pods about the size and shape of wardrobe closets fell from the sky. They crashed into the pavement making a lot of loud noise and kicking up tons of dust and debris. The pods then opened up, showing that there were people in each one. One of the strange pod-people stepped out into the bright San Fran. light. He was holding a futuristic looking SMG and was dressed in white armor. He spoke:
"Pinkamena Diane Pie! We are the O.D.S.C.T. (Orbital Drop Shock Clone Troopers) You are under arrest for the disruption of Space time, and the murder of the Star Fox team. Surrender and we will make it quick and painless!"
Pinkie looked at the man and his crew who were slowly emerging out of their pods. She then trotted slowly over to the car and popped the glove compartment open.
"Step away from the vehicle!" one of the clone troopers yelled. Pinkie completely ignored him as if he simply hadn't said anything.
Time seemed to go by very fast when Pinkie suddenly pulled out a 60 to 70 pound mini-gun out of the car and opened fire on the clone troopers. The mini-gun's barrels spun so fast, you couldn't make out the details. Johny Bravo had already ducked for cover someplace. The mini-gun fired for a good 60 seconds before it had fired all of it's 4000 rounds into the troopers. Pinkie kept a consistent poker-face throughout the entire ordeal. You probably could have heard the men screaming if it weren't for the loud whirring sound the gun made when it fired, not to mention the sound of the bullets flying out.
There lay about 21 dead men in the middle of the street. Pinkie was on a 6 star wanted level. The sound of police sirens echoed through the city and so did the very audible "hurricane siren" in the distance. Pinkie vaulted into the car and put the pedal to the metal. She was almost out of time.
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The Eclectic Adventures of Pinkie Pie and the Walls of Fiction
ab magister (from the author)
After re-reading this story to myself, I noticed that some of the characters like Bugs bunny and and Jak didn't get as much spotlight as I anticipated.
So if you believe a sequel is in order, tell me so. My friend who challenged me to write this super-cross over is starting a sequel, with a few plot holes,(and now he ain't (maybe)) but If you'd like Roseluck to write it, ask me.
Vale
