Chapters A Mad Man in A Filly's Body
Okay, let's assess this situation. I'm in the apple fields near Sweet Apple Acres, and I have no idea where I am other than that. Unless some map appears from nowhere or it just so happens to magically appear next to me or literally fly into my face, that's all I'm gonna know. Hmm? What the?
I pulled off a yellow sticky note from the top of my head. Must've gotten stuck before I knocked myself out.
Hmmm... Pretty blank. Let's see if this bow contains anything useful.
I pulled out a red marker and rolled my eyes.
Why does this not surprise me...
I put the note down for a second and wrote down my objectives for today by using my mouth to move the marker.
As much as I don't want to, finding Applejack and the others in the Apple Family might be a good idea. Hmm... I better check in with Twilight while I'm at it, she might have an idea as to what's going on with me. And while I'm at it I might as well get a bite to eat, you REALLY work up an appetite when you're going postal in your own room.
Speaking of postal my rage still hasn't simmered down since my discovery. I better be careful or my next action could get somebody killed. ..... Eh. It's not like anyone really matters in the show outside of the Mane 6, Spike, the CMC, Student 6, Diamond Tiara, Silver Spoon, Cheerilee, Celestia, Luna, Big Mac, Discord, Muffins, Sunset Shimmer, Sunburst, the Dazzlings, Trixie, Cadence, Flurry Heart, King Sombra, Chrysalis, Thorax, Ember, Garble, Pharynx, Tirek, Nightmare Moon, Gilda, Ms. Harshwhinny, Mayor Mare, Flash Sentry, Moondancer, Lightning Dust, Granny Smith, the Cakes, The Doctor, Double Diamond, Night Glider, Sugar Bell, Party Favor, Prince Blueblood, Fancy Pants, Fleur de Lis or however the hell you spell her name, Saphire Shores, Rara, Lyra, Bon-Bon/Sweetie Drops, Colgate or Minuette or whatever the fuck, Bulk Biceps, Snips, and Snails. Everyone else? Expendable. Though I suppose it would be more politically correct to kill the women and the minorities first.
Wait... what am I even talking about?
Shaking myself I placed the marker back in my bow, placed the sticky note in it as well, and headed off.
I've been walking for thirty god damn minutes! Where the fuck is some civilization?!!? I need a map. ... Never thought I'd be saying that in my life.
Luckily though I didn't need one now as I heard the sound of a party up ahead.
Why does this not surprise me...
Poking my head around an apple tree I noticed it was an apple family reunion.
For the love of god please let Twilight be an alicorn and Apple Bloom has her cutie mark.
They didn't look like they were in sight anyways so I rolled right into the reunion without much trouble. I eventually headed to the inside of the barn and made my way up to Apple Bloom's room to find her not there much to my displeasure, and yet relief. Though the pictures were a DEFINITE indication this was Season 8 Apple Bloom. This both complicates things and yet opens up some interesting doors. As long as the Postal III morality system's not involved with said doors this should open up so many opportunities for me to screw up. That is something that frightens me, yet something I don't mind being on board with. I then headed downstairs and around back where I think I found my first weapon. A machete. Why this is back here, I have no clue. And why did I say weapon? It's not like I'm gonna kill someone any time soon.
"Hey, cos'?"
"AHHHH!!!"
On instinct I quickly turned around and slashed with the machete slicing the pony's head off. I then noticed I had accidentally killed Bab Seed.
"Oops... Great... I've only been here for thirty-six minutes and I've already killed someone. Eh... It's just Bab Seed. Nothing really came of her after Season 3 anyways. Though to make sure..."
I then placed Babs's body on my back and carried her head in my mouth.
Eww... Good thing there's a lake nearby.
Soon enough after ten minutes of walking I eventually reached the lake and dumped the body and head into it. Watching for a few seconds as they floated downstream. Eventually, I made my way back to the Apple Family Reunion just in time to see it end.
Jesus even in real life these events just come and go. It's like the only purpose they ever serve is to set something up for later or introduce the main conflict of the episode or exist to be just simply contrived reasons for something to happen.
Thoughts aside, I tried to go inside when...
"Back already Apple Bloom?"
...my attention was captured by Applejack herself.
What she said has just made me go from anxious to paranoid in a second.
"Um... yeah." I replied to the orange mare as she went up to me
"Was school let off early today or something?"
"Yeah."
"Where are yer bags then?"
"I... slipped in while no one was looking. I was... trying to surprise you guys with my early arrival. I came back to drop off my books though. I was just on my way to meet up with Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle at Sugarcube Corner to discuss matters involving helping others find their talents."
I will not be surprised if she doesn't buy that-
"Well head on ahead sis. Best not keep yer friends waiting."
You gotta be fucking kidding.
"Alrighty then, later sis!" I said as I ran off as fast as I could
As soon as I was out of sight of them I caught my breath.
Okay, Apple Bloom being in school was NOT in my plans.
Either way, I took out the note and marked out the Applejack reminder.
Some help SHE was. Last thing I need though is her accusing me of being Chrysalis. Time to see what else awaits me.
Putting everything back into my bow, I couldn't help but notice a nearby shovel on the ground.
Looks like it belongs to Sweet Apple Acres. Probably dropped it during a return trip-
My train of thought was interrupted when I heard the sound Apple Bloom's voice. I quickly hid behind a tree, shovel in tow, as I watched her pass by.
Shit! This is NOT going to my plans!
I clenched the shovel and did the only thing I knew to do. I ran towards her and hit her hard over the head with the shovel knocking her out.
Sorry to do this to you Apple Bloom but I can't have you muddling in my plans right now!
I proceeded to drag Apple Bloom's unconscious, at least I hoped it was, body into a clearing where I left her there and headed off into town. Grabbing a nearby map of the town from a "Welcome to Ponyville" sign I marked where I needed to go to, placing the sticky note on the map as well, and headed off now that I had my bearings. I even made a new objective for myself that I wrote onto the sticky note.
The jigs gonna be up sooner or later. I hope Rarity doesn't mind if I "borrow" some clothes from her shop so that they can tell me apart from the real Apple Bloom. Maybe I can finally live out my fantasy of dressing like the Postal Dude from Postal III. That game was shit but boy did he look stunning. Might as well change the bow color too while I'm at it. The pink is getting on my nerves.
It was actually the first thing I did. While Rarity had made it clear she nor Sweetie Belle was home, I still managed to find a way in and with the new clothing in tow, I left the building. While I was at it I even took all the scissors from Carousel Boutique as well. I mean why not. If the Postal Dude can find a way to weaponize them, then I sure as hell can find a way. Though it was at this point I finally realized that I had the shovel and machete still with me. I don't know how, but then again Pinkie has shown multiple times hammerspace is a thing in the show so what am I to question where all these weapons are being hidden?
Eventually, I came across Twilight as she and Ms. Should Be In Jail or Executed Right Now had finished talking about something, I didn't catch what it was though but knowing those two it was probably something about magic, and eventually, the purple bookworm finally noticed me.
"Oh, he- uh... Apple Bloom? What's with the new look?" Twilight questioned
"What's wrong with a new look?" I sternly asked, "What, you think I can't dress up every once in a while or something?!"
"N-no o-of course not! It's just so weird seeing you in something other than just a pink bow."
"Why should that be of a concern? We practically go around naked and showing ourselves anyways."
"We do not do that in public! That's reserved for bedroom activities!"
"Yeah well try telling that to your tail every time you see Flash Sentry." I deadpanned
"..."
Got her.
"Touche little filly. Touche. Wait. Aren't you supposed to be in school right now?"
"Twilight do you even pay attention to the time of the day anymore?"
"Oh..."
"Look Twilight, I don't exactly have time to explain, but things are gonna get a little complicated."
"What are you talking about?"
"I'm not the real Apple Bloom. I know that sounds hard to believe, but it's the truth. I can prove it as well. Ask me something only the REAL Apple Bloom would know."
"Alright. How many relatives are in the Apple Family? Only the REAL Apple Bloom would-"
"How the fuck should I know? Those damn apples have more fluctuating numbers than Lemmings."
"-one, you're DEFINITELY not Apple Bloom. Secondly, watch your language young filly!"
"I was eighteen years old and just graduated high school before I turned into this, I don't give a shit!"
"You were TURNED into Apple Bloom? How?!"
"How in the hell should I know?! These types of fics have vaguer origin stories than the Postal Dude's!"
"That's not helping!"
"Well I came looking for you because I figured you'd be of some help to me in turning back and going back home but it looks like this was just more pointless than the Ertl Theodore the Tugboat toys!"
"Wha? But anyways, I'm not useless! You're just being uncooperative right now!"
"How can I be uncooperative when I know as much as you do on the mater?! I woke up like this and was in the middle of going postal when I knocked myself out and woke up in the apple orchard!"
"You knocked yourself out? How?"
"Honestly I don't even remember how. I think either something hit my head or I hit it on something because I woke up feeling pain all over my head from my eyes to my medulla oblongata."
"In actual words please."
"Those ARE words, you uncultured dunce." I groaned, "Jesus Christ I'm getting nowhere at this rate. This truly WAS the most pointless thing I've ever done. I wanna go postal real bad. I just wanna fucking kill someone-"
Suddenly there were gunshots from nearby. I pulled out the shovel and smirked.
"That's the ticket." I went and headed for the sounds
"WAIT, IT'S TOO DANGEROUS!" I heard Twilight shout as she gave chase
I soon enough arrived on the scene. Griffons were holding up a bank wielding Silenced M9's, or what LOOKED to be M9's anyway.
Figures the only ones who'd be able to use guns would be the ones to have them.
"Hi, there!" I announced as I pulled out the machete
"What in the...?" went one of the Griffon Bandits
"You probably thought you weren't going to die today. Surpriiisee!" I said before throwing the machete
The machete made a slicing noise as it hit the three griffons and returned back to my hoof.
"And the hoof is still attached! Thank you VERY much!" I commented as I put away the machete and picked up the dropped weapons, more specifically one gun and the ammo from the rest
At that moment, Twilight arrived just in time to see the Griffon bodies sump over as their heads finally fell off. At that point, my stomach growled as well.
"Damn I really am hungry. Hmm... I wonder what Griffon tastes like."
I then grabbed a nearby gas can and poured gasoline over the bodies before putting it down, taking out a box of matches, lighting the match, and tossed it onto the bodies setting them ablaze. I took a quick whiff and moaned in pleasure at my work.
"Mmmnnn... Slow roasted goodness~" I commented
Once I felt they were done, I pulled down the pants, pulled down my panties, moved my tail and trench coat aside and proceeded to pee on the corpses.
"Now the flowers will grow." I said before eventually stopping and pulling my pants and stuff back into place
I then pulled the machete back out and sliced up the remains and eating some of it. I quenched my hunger, but at the price of coughing up some.
"Ugh... burned. I need to cook this better next time."
At that point, many couldn't hold their lunch in anymore and vomited like no tomorrow.
"Pfft. Sissies." I commented
That little scene I did would only end up having me being put in front of the Mane 6 and the CMC themselves for further questioning. It went about as well as you think considering they looked pissed to no end.
"Soooo. What am I here for?" I asked
"We need to have a talk, whoever you are!" Twilight replied, "You said to me that you appeared in the apple fields after knocking yourself out! And from what I've heard and seen, you knocked Apple Bloom out cold, stole those clothes from Rarity's Boutique, and murdered three Griffons before burning their corpses, peeing on them to put them out, and eating part of them before just saying you should cook them better NEXT TIME, who or for that matter, WHAT are you?!!?"
"Geesh. You make it sound like I'm a bad person." I smirked
"EXCUUUSE ME?!" Twilight went like she was insulted, "YOU ARE A BAD PERSON FOR DOING ALL THAT!"
"Could've fooled me."
Twilight screamed like as if she was about to have a brain aneurism.
"Hehehe. The gene pool is stagnant, and I am the minister of chlorine." I joked
"WHO IN THE HOOF ARE YOU?!" Twilight asked as she picked me up, her eyes twitching
"Hey all you had to do was ask nicely and I would've answered."
Twilight looked pissed.
"What's the matter? You look like you're about to strangle me."
She muttered something under her breath, but I could tell she said she was really wanting to.
"Okay then. We'll do this your way. Could you please tell us who you are, or for that matter, WHAT you are so we can help you turn back to normal?"
"To answer what I am, I'm actually a human from the planet Earth."
"A human? But humans have been extinct for years."
Son of a bitch this is gonna be one of THOSE settings ain't it...
"Great. I'm in the future. My only question is what fucking moron turned the world into what is now."
"Uh, Applejack? What does fu-"
"WHEN YOU'RE OLDER!" Applejack quickly answered
"Sissy!" I taunted like the Postal 2 Dude, "Don't worry Apple Bloom I'll fill you in."
Applejack shot me a death glare and my response was a simple yawn.
"Are you gonna kill me already or do you not wanna be seen as a child murderer?" I went making Applejack back off, "Yeah that's what I thought."
"Hey! Watch it, kid! Applejack's my friend!" Rainbow Dash shouted standing up for Applejack
"You better be the one backing off or I'll take this machete and cut your wings off the next time you fall asleep." I warned
Rainbow QUICKLY backed off.
"Wait.... could you-"
"I ain't that movie obsessive imbecile from the other world." I stated cutting off Twilight before she could finish, "I used to be an eighteen year old named.... fuck... I can't remember my name."
"What..."
"Yeah.... I can't remember my damn name to save the life of me. Eh. For now, just call me Postal Bloom."
"Ah think yer name should be-"
"You put a fucking apple into my name and I'll follow you home and kill your dog."
Applejack instantly shut up.
"I need to see the princesses. Maybe they know what happened and how we can send her back." Twilight stated
"Send her back? Looking like me?" Apple Bloom interrupted
"You think sending me home is a bad idea?" I said pulling out the shovel, "I'm giving you guys three seconds to explain yourself before I bash you across the skull so hard you'll need to go to wear shopping bags across your ass because of the fact you won't be able to contain your shit and piss."
"Ah jus’ meant sendin’ ya looking an’ soundin’ like me might not be the best!" Apple Bloom quickly responded
"Oooh. I get ya." I said putting away the shovel, "I suppose it would be confusing if two of the same people were running around one small populated town."
.....
"So that's it then. All the work I did towards earning my high school diploma's just gone down the toilet..." I went as Twilight finally put me down
Sweetie Belle made the bold move of coming over to hug me. As soon as she held me I couldn’t stop myself. I wrapped my legs around her neck and bawled. I couldn’t hold it in. This was all just too much. Not only had I been through everything I already had, now I'm in Equestria, with no explanation as to why or how. I'm completely separated from my parents, my siblings, everyone I know and cared about. I was a stranger in a world I wasn’t even sure had existed until a few minutes ago and I'm all on my own. I cried for what felt like hours, just crying, not wanting to be here, but knowing I didn’t have a say in the matter. All the while, Sweetie Belle, and eventually Applejack, held me, rubbing my back and making soothing noises. It helped... a little. At some point, I was vaguely aware of Twilight saying something about sending a letter to the princess but didn’t listen. I didn’t want to listen. I just wanted to be home, to be with my family and friends, to live my life without any more weirdness than I’d already had to deal with. At some point, I must have cried myself to sleep, because I woke up to find Applejack still holding me, her head resting on top of mine and I was in what looked to be the Sweet Apple Acres homestead.
“Ah... Ah know how ya feel Bloom.” she whispers, either just to say it or because she knew I was awake again, “Ah know just how ya feel.”
I punched her in the face and got off of her.
"Shut up. Shut the fuck up. You have no idea how I feel."
"Yes, Ah do. Ah know just how ya feel.”
"You better shut the fuck up right now befoe I cut your head off. You have NO idea what I feel right now. All my hard work towards a high school diploma's been thrown away, I've been separated from my parents. You have no clue how this feels!!!"
I realize just what I’ve said too late.
Whoops... I think I went too far.
Applejack looked at me, an angry, but sad look in her eyes. They start to fill with tears and she wipes them away with a foreleg, before looking back at me.
“Ah know just how that feels, Bloom. Ah lost mah parents when Ah was just a little filly. Apple Bloom was barely more than a foal.”
She moves forward and I tried to move away, worried she’d hurt me. The bed didn’t give me much room to move and I’d somehow gotten my hind legs tangled in the cover.
Fuck...
She reached out and I braced for the worse, only for her to wrap her hooves around me and hold me close.
Well that was anti-climactic.
“Ah know how it feels ta lose yer parents. Ah do.”
"Y... you stupid woman. It's not just my parents..." I whisper, shame etched on my face and in my voice, "L... look, I didn't mean to say that, I'm sorry I'm just under a lot of stress right now."
She pats my back gently, which makes me feel a bit better.
“It’s okay, sugarcube. Ya’ll were angry an’ yer worried ’bout getting home ta yer family an’ how they’re doin’. It’s natural.”
Is it really or are you just saying that to make me feel better.
I hugged her a little tighter. Held in her bigger legs I felt comfortable. I don’t feel so scared anymore. That or I was begining to get stockholm syndrome early into this place. Probably the latter. She then pulled away enough to look me in the eye, a warm smile on her face.
“Til Twi can get ya home, ya’ll can stay here, alright?”
I then looked at her in confusion.
"But what if she sends me home today?"
She then shook her head at me.
“Tain’t that easy. World crossin’s big magic and even Twi can’t do it like that. She’ll need time to find yer world an’ send ya back.”
"Figures...." I groaned
“Like Ah said, yer more than welcome ta stay here til then, ’kay?”
"Sounds reasonable."
"But first thing tomorrow we're turnin' in those clothes! It's the-"
I then pulled out the machete.
"Finish that sentence. I dare you."
"N-nevermind." Applejack squeaked
"Yeah, that's what I thought." I said as I put away the machete
My stomach then growled.
"Ugh... I knew I couldn't cheese my hunger by eating fried Griffon." I groaned
We then headed downstairs to eat, but I quickly found myself surrounded by the CMC trio. I'm doomed.
“Who are you?”
“How come ya look like me?”
“Are you a robot?”
“Hey, are you one of those Changelings?”
“Where’d you come from?”
“How’d you get to Ponyville?”
“What’s yer name?”
"SHUT UP!" I yelled at them, "One at a fucking time! You're giving me a headache with so many questions at once! To answer the name question though, I'm Postal Bloom. Though you should already know that because of the fact you three were with the Mane 6 at the castle."
"Postal... Bloom?" Scootaloo asked, "What kind of a name is that?"
"It's my name so don't question it." I replied stretching out my back legs but not noticing I revealed my flank
"Hey!" Apple Bloom cried in an excited tone that chilled me to the bone, "Ah just noticed, Postal Bloom doesn't have her Cutie Mark!"
Oops... Next time I'm stretching before going anywhere.
"Hey, yeah!" Sweetie Belle cheered, leaning to look behind Scootaloo and seeing my flank,"Do you wanna be in our sleepover later? Maybe we can figure out your Cutie Mark."
"And running for my life!" I went before running back up the stairs, "WOOP, WOOP, WHOOP, WOOP, WOOP, WOOP, WOOP, WOOP!"
And then I ended up slipping on a banana peel on the top.
"Oh no... AHHHH! OOO- APA- AYYYA- OOOO- AHMMF- AAUGH- AHHH- OHHH- OOO- APA- AYYYA- OOOO- AHH- OPPA- OOO- EEE! "
"Coool." Scootaloo went
"Karma's a bitch..." I goaned
"Can she come to our sleepover Applejack? Pretty please..." Sweetie Belle said giving her the eyes
"Applejack I can promise you Winona will NOT be killed tomorrow if you tell her no!" I warned
"Sorry, but no." Applejack quickly said
"Aww...." Sweetie Belle went
"Maybe next time." I sarcastically said
Too bad there never WILL be a next time.
And so having filled up my stomach on some pie I headed back upstairs into the spare guest room where I locked the door and headed off to sleep. There I had dreams of some.... freaky shit to say the least.
"You probably thought you weren't going to die today, surprise!"
*BANG*
"PLEASE DON'T KILL ME! I'M A MINORITY!"
"Excellent! I'm an equal opportunity killer after all sir!"
*SLICE*
"Today's the first day of the end of your lives."
....
"Oh fuck me it's the red and black pedophile pegasus. I'm about to do everyone a- *shovel smack* Stupid scripted sequences."
*smack*
"Holy shit! I'm in a straightjacket gimp suit!"
"Honeeey I'm home~ And I brought you a present for your love canal~"
"I don't think so."
....
"Fuck me that was riveting. One less red and black OC to worry about. Now, how the balls do I get out of here?"
....
"Would you please sign my petition?"
"I'm sorry."
"You gotta be fucking kidding. Look, just sign this stupid petition, I've got stuff to do."
"No way you freaking pinko!"
"Are you gonna sign this or will it be your surviving family members?"
".... Okay. I guess that sounds pretty good."
"Thanks."
....
"I regret nothing."
I awoke with a gasp and looked at my surroundings. I was back to sanity. Well, as sane as it could be that is.
"I can tell this is gonna be an interesting day." I groaned
A Mad Man in A Filly's Body
Continuing on, I eventually went to the kitchen and discovered a note attached to a petition.
A petition to make the Cutie Mark Day Camp recognized as an official camp... That's something I wasn't expecting.
"We need eight more signatures before we can turn it in, the problem is today's the deadline and we have to turn it into the town hall by nightfall or else we'll have to start all over from scratch. signed Apple Bloom." I said reading the note out loud
Ugh... I can't get a fucking break, can I? *huff* Better get it signed. Heh. Good thing I'm a "people person".
"Hi there. Would you like to sign my petition?" I said going up to a pony
"I'm sorry." he replied
"Shit. Look just sign the stupid petition I've got stuff to do." I stated
"Okay. I guess that sounds pretty good." He replied before signing
"Thanks." I went before moving on
Huh. Maybe this will be easier than I thought.
I then heard a noise coming from an ally and saw a guard beating up on a pegasus mare who was desprately crying for help before getting knocked completely out.
"Hi there." I went getting the guard's attention, "Would you like to sign my petition?"
"No way you freaking pinko!"
"Shit. Sign my petition damn it."
"I said no way you- URK!!!" The guard choked as I pulled him down to my cold dead eye level
"Are you gonna sign this or will it be your surviving family members?"
"I NEED-"
Before he could finish I sliced his head off with the machete.
"Can't have your buddies ruining the fun can we?" I joked before kicking his body and head into a nearby trash bin, but not before collecting the baton and spear as a keepsake
While I was back here I checked to see what was around and found Laboratory Syringes filled with a red liquid. Around that time the mare from earlier had finally awoken to see me.
"W-what happened?!" she asked
"I just saved ya from a crooked cop." I replied
"Th-thank you little filly." She complimented
"Would you like to sign my petition?"
"Okay. I guess I can do that." she said before signing
"Thanks!" I replied
But the second she turned around to leave I pulled out the syringes and tossed one into her. She looked back at me in confusion before stuttering slurs of sadness as she puked up some blood.
"You probably thought you weren't going to die today. Surpriiiise!" I said
And just like that once she was done, she fell over dead and I headed out to find the next person to kill- I mean sign the petition.
WHAT IN THE HAY DID YA DO THAT FER?! YOU SAVE 'ER AND THEN YA UP AND KILL 'ER?! WHAT IN THE HOOF IS WRONG WITH YOU?!!?
I quickly shook my head in shock before looking around.
"Apple Bloom? What the heck was that?!" I said to myself
Great... Now I've got the same case Postal Dude was having in Postal 2: Paradise Lost. Another voice in my head. The only difference is that this other voice in my head's gonna try to make me more into a child instead of a deranged killer.
I then headed into a hotel and made my way to the bathroom for a quick piss and ended up finding a can of Stynx and a lighter inside.
I know what I'm doing with this!
Afterward, I put them away into my trenchcoat and headed back outside where I was confronted by a royal guard.
"Would you please sign my petition?"
"No way you freaking pinko!"
"You gotta be fucking kidding. Sign my petition damn it!"
"I said no- ACK!"
"Sign my petition or I'll follow you home and kill your dog."
"H-"
I instantly shut him up by hitting him with the syringe, or AIDS as I like to call it, and watched as he ran away only to puke blood in the middle of a crowd and fall over dead causing a mass panic.
This is too good of an opportunity to pass up!
I instantly snuck behind some bushes and pulled out the Stynx and lighter, waited until some runners were near, and in about three seconds, they were all burning alive. I gave a bit of a laugh as I ran away and hid behind a house as some guards tried to put them out.
The gene pool is stagnant, and I am the minister of chlorine.
Ya'll make me sick ta mah stomach.....
And just what the hell can you even do about it? You're just a stupid voice in my head. Once I talk to Twilight about this you're good as gone.
We'll see about THAT.
Whatever.
I then noticed a bat and picked it up for myself to inspect it further.
"Excuse me-"
"AHHH!!!" I screamed as I turned around so fast I batted the guard's head clean off, "Oops... At this rate, I'm gonna kill everyone in Ponyville."
YA THINK?!!??!
Why do you care? 70% of the town's filled with nameless background assets that are riper to kill than the red shirts from Star Trek.
Hearing the sound of footsteps I jumped inside the house through an open window an heard a mare's scream. I quickly exited the house and headed back out where everyone looked jumpier than a cat.
"Hi there. Would you like to sign my petition?" I asked one
"I-I'm sorry."
"Shit. Look, just sign the stupid petition I've got stuff to do."
"O-okay then." she replied, scared out of her mind as she wrote down her name
"Thanks." I replied before going over to someone else, "Would you please sign my petition?"
Well, THAT was pretty easy. Who knew those ponies were so cooperative once they were scared out of their mind?
Sarcastic thoughts aside, I eventually arrived at the Town Hall and after following a.... *ahem* ...."helpful" directory-
What fucking moron designed that damn directory?
-I eventually arrived at Mayor Mare's office. Ugh.... the fucking pun...
"Here you go Mayor Mare. Here's the last remaining signatures for the petition to have the Cutie Mark Day Camp recognized as an official camp." I said handing over the petition
Jesus that was a mouthful.
"Hmmm...." Mayor Mare went looking over the signatures, "Oh.... sorry but I'm afraid I can't accept this."
"....what...."
"There's a double signature on here. You're gonna have to- ACK!!!" Mayor Mare choked as I grabbed her by her collar and held up my machete to her, "WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?"
"I've spent all day trying to get those last eight signatures on that damn petition amongst all the fucking chaos going on out there."
Well... ya ain't exactly lying-
Shut up moron!
"Here's what's going to happen." I continued, "You're going to approve the damn thing, I'm gonna continue on with the rest of my day, and we are going to pretend this threat against your life, more specifical your head being on the top of the building's pike, will have never happened. CAPICHE?!?!?!"
Mayor Mare then gave a stamp of approval onto the petition and I let her go but not before one last message.
"You tell anyone about what happened and I'll kill you in your sleep!" I warned before leaving
Once I was away from the office I gave a sigh of relief.
"Finally. Now to-"
"POSTAL BLOOM!"
Oh great it's Applejack...
Applejack came into view scared out of her mind.
"ARE YA'LL ALRIGHT?!" she asked before stopping to take a breath
"Of course I'm alright. What do you think I can't defend myself?" I groaned in annoyance
"Ah've already taken the Crusaders home, now ya'll need to come back to Sweet Apple Acres. It's not safe out in town."
"No. I need to see Twilight. Or... a doctor either one. I need to talk to either of them about this voice in my head."
"Wha?"
"If you're worried about me, don't. I can take care of myself without a problem." I said before walking away
Applejack didn't even try to stop me as I left the building and looked at the guards that were questioning everyone. I was about ready to unleash flames of death upon everyone when I clicked the lighter.... but I accidentally set my tail on fire. At first I put away the lighter and can when I smelled it. But then I saw a sight that instantly made me regret having a penis. My tail was on fire.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I cried as I ran towards the guards
Since I couldn't piss on myself to relieve me of my problem, I had to rely on them putting me out. Joy....
"PUT HER OUT, PUT HER OUT!!" I heard the commander holler as I found myself rolling on the ground due to my whole body being engulfed in flames
I've said it before and I'll say it again! KARMA'S A BITCH!!!
All I could remember before passing out was water being splashed on me, and Applejack calling my name.
A Mad Man in A Filly's Body
I eventually awoke in a hospital room covered head to... hoof... in bandages.
Figures...
Ya'll were the one about to commit mass genocide ya bigot!
Please don't think I'm a bigot. I kill races equally.
WHAT IN EQUATRIA ARE YOU?!!?
A pissed off guy whose stuck in a clone body of you and will take his anger over being in said body on anyone who gets in my way by killing them.
Ya'll are messed up... ya know that?
You're just repeating already known info. Try something original that I've never heard of before.
In yer own words, go fuck yerself.
Well considering no nurse is arriving any time soon... how long have you been in my head?
Ever since ya went to sleep yer first time in Ponyville. Ah was awakened by those...... dreams...... ya'll were havin' and ah'm startin' ta wish ah STAYED asleep within ya.
Yeah, that's what they all say. I sarcastically thought
Fuck off with that.
I see you're quickly learning my speech patterns.
Well, it's the only way to get ya to derned listen!
You could've asked nicely.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHUUUUUUUGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I laughed a little at Apple Bloom's grief.
Well, can ya tell me just what your purpose even is for being inside my mind? If it's supposed to be a voice that'll lead me back down the path of good, that's one of the most cliche things that have ever happened to me.
Ah...... don't actually know what mah role's suppost to be in yer mind. But it might as well be what ya'll said! Ya need help!
Actually what I need right now are answers. And a Hardees/Carles Jr Hot Ham & Cheese Sandwich and one of their chocolate milkshakes with whipped cream. Those things are delicious.
These images.... huh.... ah think ah wanna try it. Well...... even if it IS meat.
Apple Bloom, you can never get closer to heaven then trying those two things together.
Suddenly the door to the room opened.
Don't look now but it looks like the nurse is coming in.
"How are you feeling Ms. Postal... Bloom?" Redheart asked as she looked at the clipboard
"Like I got run over by a horde of ponies in Gimp Suits." I groaned
"Well you should know that you didn't suffer any burns, but you do have some... head trauma to say the least."
Why does this world continue to throw things my way that just fail to impress me or surprise me in any way...
"What? How did that happen?"
"Some idiot guard accidentally hit you over the head with a shovel while you were passed out."
Figures...
"Well how long am I gonna be in here?"
"A few days at most."
Oh hell no, these readers are NOT gonna be subjected to THAT kind of torture! Hey Writer! You think you can skip us ahead to when I get out!?
Already ahead of you.
Day 10
Whew. Glad we skipped over that hell.
I then went over to a bench outside the hospital and pulled out a sticky note and pen to write down my to-do list for the day.
"Guess I better go see Twilight to talk about this damn voice in my head. Hopefully, this trip will bear more fruit than my last trip to her castle." I said to myself, "And while I'm at it I might as well try for another bite to eat. You kind of work up an appetite eating shit that makes school food taste better by comparison. Hmmm, maybe Applejack can do me a favor and lend me an apple, as much as I prefer meat. And I guess my final one should be to try to find more tools to kill with. These melee weapons and such are great and all, but this silenced pistol needs to find some use SOME way. Hmmm. I heard rumors that a team of griffon bandits made a camp in the old castle of the two sisters. Maybe they can let me 'borrow' some ammo and weapons. Well, this shit ain't gonna get done by itself. Time to get moving."
I first paid a visit to Applejack's which... could've gone better.
"THIS IS A STICKUP!" hollered a griffon bandit holding a S.M.E.G, "DROP YOUR MONEY AND GET DOWN ON THE GROUND!"
Everyone complied but me. The bandit got furious and held the gun to my head. I simply stood there unfazed as I secretly grabbed a nearby sledgehammer.
"I SAID DROP YOUR MONEY AND GET ON THE GROUND ASSHOLE!"
"I don't think so."
*SPLAT*
Before anyone could think, the bandit fell to the ground with no head. How? I smashed it into nothing with the sledgehammer. I then picked up the S.M.E.G and looked at my prize.
"That's what I'm talking about." I grinned evilly before turning to Applejack, "Anyways, how much was it for an apple?"
"T-Two bits..." she said in shock
I then handed two and took an apple before walking away and eating it.
"Next." I said to myself before crossing out the 'EAT' objective on the sticky note
Next up I paid a visit to Twilight. Though not before burning Starlight's tail and causing her and Trixie to get into a panic. After that, I entered Twilight's library to her fear.
"Hey, Twilight. I need to speak to you. Something weird's happening to me."
"L-like what?"
"I'm hearing Apple Bloom's voice in my head. Not only that, but the voice seems to be sentient. It can hear everything I hear and see everything I see, but can't control me. Though I fear with my current blunt trauma that might happen soon enough. Know what might be causing it?"
"I think I actually do."
Well ain't that a first.
"Well, what's the deal? Why is Apple Bloom's voice in my head?"
"I think it has something to do with you being in Apple Bloom's body. I think when you were turned the transformation wasn't 100% complete, in theory at least, and as a result, Apple Bloom is still TECHNICALLY there, but only in your mind. She can hear and see everything going on and what you're doing, but not much else. However, as you have said, you suffered some head trauma. That means that somewhere down the road Apple Bloom's gonna try to take over your body as well."
"Well, how long do you think I have until then?"
"I can't really say. It could be days, it could be months, it could happen the instant-"
"Don't you DARE jinx it." I said pulling out the machete
"But overall it's untelling when it'll happen. All we can do right now is make rough guesses." She quickly went as I put the machete away
"Would it have happened much later without the head wound?"
"Possibly. Had you not gotten that head wound there's a high probability that it would've happened much sooner down the line. Possibly next year or the next two years."
"Sooo it was gonna happen regardless."
"On the money there."
"Figures. You think there's any way I can suppress it, to say the least?"
"Unfortunately not."
"Why does this not surprise me..." I groaned
"The best you can do for now is hope for the best as each day passes the stronger the voice will become."
This is sounding like Paradise Lost too much...
"The stronger her voice gets and the more she starts to control, eventually Postal Bloom will cease to exist altogether and all that will remain is Apple Bloom." She continued
"That doesn't sound good at all..."
Ta you anyway murderer.
I'm not a murder. I'm just a walking talking gas chamber.
THAT'S THE SAME DERN THING!!!
No it's not.
YES IT IS!
No. It's not.
YES! IT! ISSS!!!!
It! Is! NOT!
"POSTAL BLOOM!"
"Uh wha- habi?!" I slurred
"What happened? You kind of when brain dead for a second there."
"Sorry was in the middle of an argument with Apple Bloom."
"Then it's worse than I thought. At this rate, that voice is gonna try to take over sooner than we think."
"Shit... I hope there's a compromise ending to this fic. I don't wanna have all of this build up be wasted with me ceasing to exist."
"Wha?"
"Nothing. Thanks for the info Twilight."
I then left and went throughout the castle looking for supplies. I found not only some scissors for me to throw as a weapon, but also a Paintball Gun, Bow & Arrows, and some garden sheers like in Paradise Lost. I don't know what I can use the paintball gun for, but I'll find a way. I, ALWAYS, find a way to use what's given to me. And I might've robbed the safe of 300 or so bits, but I was long gone before the guards appeared. Why did I steal 300? Believe it or not, they weren't for me. Well, some of it was, but not ALL of it. Why? I had a plan. I, ALWAYS, have a plan.
I soon traversed the Everfree Forest and found myself at the old Castle of the Two Sisters where I dumped the sack of bits out in front of the entrance and waited.
"What the?! Boys we've hit the motherload!" went the leader as he and a few griffons went out into foray
"Like Flys to a bug zapper." I grinned to myself
"HEY YOU!"
"About friggn' time." I said to myself as the royal guard appeared
"THAT'S PROPERTY OF TWILIGHT SPARKLE! GET YOUR FILTHY CLAWS OFF OF THOSE BITS!"
"FUCK YOU ASSHOLE! LET 'EM HAVE IT!" the leader went as he and the others began to open fire at the guards
"BACK UP! I NEED BACK UP!" hollered the commander before getting killed
I snuck in among the chaos and headed towards the armory. There I found the motherload. A scythe, Postal III esque fire ax, a pitchfork, loads of arrows, loads of ammo for the silenced pistol, a chainsaw, a weed wacker, loads of molotovs, loads of scissors, loads of lab syringes/AIDS, dynamite up the ass, ammo galore for the paintball gun, loads of ammo for the S.M.E.G, and for the grand finale a Postal 2 esque Stun Gun.
Aww writer you spoil me.
Okay seriously yer freakin' me out. Who in the hay are ya talkin' to?
You'll never know because you can't break the fourth wall.
Ahhh screw you too...
I began to make my escape when I came across an obstacle in the loby. One I NEVER thought I'd have to face.
"Hold it right there Postal Bloom." Shinning Armor said sternly
"I hate boss fights..." I groaned
TO BE CONTINUED...
To be continued? NOW?! I hate cliffhangers...
A Mad Man in A Filly's Body
Boss Fight: Shining Armor
"Hold it right there Postal Bloom." Shinning Armor said sternly
"I hate boss fights..." I groaned, "What do you want?"
"Those morons outside might be fooled into thinking those griffons stole all that money, but I know it was you. Twilight thinks so as well."
"So what if I did? Can you really prove it?"
"No... But one of Twilight's truth spells will do the trick." Shining Armor glared
"Really..." I groaned, "A truth spell? That HAS to be made up."
"You'll know soon enough how real it is when you're behind bars."
"I don't think so."
Shining Armor then began to laugh.
"You? Fight me? You won't last two seconds against the captain of the royal guard."
"I don't wanna fight you. I'm just gonna stall you for time."
"What?! Are you mocking me?!"
"Why mock someone who can't even protect their own country. That just writes itself."
Shining looked shocked to no end.
"Oh? Did I strike a nerve? Was that burn too much for you? Well, I'm gonna roast you just like I did that group." I smirked as I pulled out the can of Stynx and the lighter
"Y-you?! YOU DID THE MASSACRE IN PONYVILLE?!?!" He exclaimed sounding extremely angry
"Hehehaaa. The gene pool is stagnant, and I am the minister of chlorine." I grinned like a madman in reply
"Y-you sick bastard! Those people had families!!!"
"Do I look like I care? Those ponies were a bunch of nobodies. They didn't matter to anything. They were just walking targets to me."
"W-what even are you?! You're not a pony! Your not even a monster! You're just a freak of nature!"
"I'd say more of a madman in a filly's body, but I digress. Important figure or not, you're in my way. So that means you must die!"
I instantly attacked with the flamethrower only for Shining to protect himself with his shield spell.
"Sissy!" I taunted like the Postal 2 Dude
Shining then shot a laser of some kind through the shield as I switched to the dynamite and tossed it his way. The shield cracked but not a lot. I tossed a couple more weakening the shield more and throwing more cracks into it. At that moment Shining Armor shot the laser this time hitting me square in the chest and sending me into a wall where a crack pipe that looked like the health pipe from Postal 2 fell next to me. Getting a grin I took a smoke and let out some smoke before tossing it to the side.
"This can't be good for me but I feel great." I said out loud before switching to the S.M.E.G
I fired the S.M.E.G and it instantly cracked the shield and sent Shining into a wall. I quickly pulled out the stun gun before he could get up and electrocuted him with it sending him into a spaz attack. I pulled out the shovel and hit him over the head hard enough to knock him onto the floor where I pulled out the sheers and applied pressure to his horn. Shining cried out in pain as he got up and tried to shake me off but I just wouldn't let go. He kept charging into walls and other things as he tried to shake me off, but all he did was just bring further harm to himself as his horn started having cracks in it. Eventually, though he stopped hard enough to make me release and send me flying into a wall.
"OW MY CLAVICHORD!" I yelled before getting up
Shining then tried to do his shield spell... but quickly found a look of horror on his face as he found his horn was too broken to do any spells at the moment.
"Aww. Little unicorn can't do overpowered spells anymore?" I taunted
I instantly pulled out the paintball gun and let him have it. In reality, all I was doing was taunting him. I never had intentions of REALLY fighting him. I just had to stall him. Though obviously from what you've read you know I could've easily killed him if I wanted to. I could tell me not actually fighting him was starting to get on his nerves. I decided to up the antee by drinking a soda mid fight much to his confusion.
"Yeahhh one in each hand!" I went as a second paintball gun appeared in my other hoof
At this point, I was on my back legs but I had to bite the bullet on the pain I was feeling to start moving as he tried some charge and melee attacks with a spear and shield combo. Who did he think he was, Leonidas? Anyway, I could tell he was starting to get pissed off.
"STOP TOYING AROUND AND FIGHT ME ALREADY!!!" he hollered
"Nope." I taunted as I continued my paintball assault
But my fun and games stopped when I slipped on a water puddle and fell onto my ass. Before I could assess what was going on I found myself being tased to no end from Shining Armor.
"AUGH! NGH! Ohhhh my nads!" I groaned as I tried to scoot away
"Hehehe. No more fighting like a coward. In fact? You're no longer under arrest." He went pulling out a spear, "DIE!!!"
As I braced for impact I quickly hear a tackle as Shining Armor is knocked down to the ground by the guards.
Right on schedual.
I quickly ran over to one of the royal guards bawling my eyes out.
"H-HE TRIED TO KILL ME!" I weeped
"WHAT?! Shining Armor have you lost your mind?!" the guard cried out
"THAT'S NO CHILD! SHE'S A MURDERER!"
"Shining Armor she's just a kid, she couldn't harm a fly!"
"HOW DO YOU EXPLAIN THESE DAMN CRACKS IN MY HORN THEN?!"
"I-I tried to buck him off of me earlier but I think I hit his horn on accident! I didn't mean to-"
"It's alright kid. You were just trying to protect yourself from a psychopath."
"WHAT?!?!!?" Shining Armor yelled at the top of his lungs
"Shining Armor, you have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in the court of law!" went one of the guards as Shining was placed under arrest
All according to plan.
I was soon enough brought home to Sweet Apple Acres putting on the waterworks as Applejack and the others tried to comfort me. Shining Armor was placed under arrest and a trial was to be happening within the next three days. For now, I was in my room trying to sleep. Well, make it seem like I had trouble sleeping anyway.
Yer despicable.
Oh you flatter me.
"Postal Bloom?"
"What do ya want..." I replied to Applejack
"Are ya alright?"
"Y... yeah... ah guess so..."
"Well, remember. If ya need me, don't be afraid ta holler fer me."
"Ah know..."
What the?
It begins.
Fuck.
A Mad Man in A Filly's Body
I woke up the next morning feeling like I got run over by a truck. That and like I was being cooked.
"Christ it's as hot as the devil's rectum in here. When did I move to hell... *coughing fit* ...well considerin' there ain't no derned AC ah'm gonna have ta git used ta it. *coughing fit* What the hell was that?!"
Heeey!
Oh great. Don't tell me. You're starting to take over now, aren't you?
To quote mah brother, Eeyup.
Oh great. Well you know you're gonna have no choice but to keep the massacres and what REALLY happened during the boss fight a secret right? If you tell them you'll get us killed.
... Crap. Yer right...
Well, might as well make my list of to-dos for today. I thought as I pulled out a sticky note and pen.
"Well like Applejack said time for me to visit the psychiatrist today. Like THAT could go wrong in any way." I sarcastically said as I wrote it down, "While I'm at it I might as well pay a visit to Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon. Might as well try to make SOME friends out of the legion of enemies I'm making. Pinkie Pie might need some help with her cupcakes. I hear ponies who go there never return. I'm sure they're just crazy. Time to get moving."
I first made my stop at the hospital for my appointment to the psychiatrist. The psychiatrist in question was a pegasus mare who looked like Ms. Pauling from Team Fortress 2.
"Ah. You are Ms. Postal Bloom correct?" she asked
"Indeed I am." I replied as I went and lied down on the couch
"I'm your psychiatrist for today, I am known simply as Clean Up because I tend to clean up the messes that lie within the unhealthy pony mind."
Uh.... sure.
This pony sounds like she's on sum SERIOUS crack.
I think that sentamite is unanimous.
"Remind me, why am I hear? Applejack didn't exactly fill me in."
"It was an order from Princess Twilight. She said it might help you be at ease if you talked to someone like me about your problems."
Eh, what the hell. Why not.
"Firstly, who exactly are you? Postal Bloom's a pretty odd name for a filly."
"Well to tell you the truth, I don't exactly remember what my name was. All I remember is the fact I was a guy who went to high school just trying to survive and get my damn diploma so I could feel like all my hard work actually meant something. But it seems like fate had other plans because no less than the next day after my graduation I turned into Apple Bloom for seemingly no rhyme or reason! I got so mad at the thought of all my hard work going down the toilet that I just wanted to kill someone! I just wanted to go FUCKING postal!"
"I see." Clean Up stated as she took notes, "Go on."
"But somehow while I was going postal against my room I ended up knocked out somehow and wound up here in Equestria. Well, more specifically the Apple Fields of Sweet Apple Acres but I digress."
"Has this urge to go Postal simmered down any?"
"Well in a way. Er, I mean it has."
"Um... okay then."
"I feel perfectly fine right now. Well outside of the fact ah was almost murdered."
"Understandable. A filly at your age is bound to have some kind of traumatic experience like what Shining Armor did."
"Well I wouldn't exactly say- *coughing fit* - What I meant to say was eeyup, can't believe he went postal like that. I wonder what drove him to do it."
"There could've been many factors that lead up to it. One could've been the pressure of fatherhood, another could've been having to work two jobs as a Captain and Prince of a kingdom, and another could've been the looming threat of Chrysalis possibly returning to seek her revenge."
Oh yeah I kind of forgot about that event.
"So far all that's happened to me is just killing people by accident."
"Hmm?"
"I accidentally killed Bab Seed when I first arrived here because I was jumpier than a jackrabbit, then I killed those bandits at the bank because it was the right thing to do, and then I killed a mugger who tried to rob the markets outside of Sugarcube Corner. I fear if I keep this up I'm gonna end up killing everyone."
Well, ya ain't exactly lyin' there.
"Well... That's an... interesting development."
"What are you talking about?"
"Well you see-"
Suddenly an alarm began to ring throughout the hospital.
"Oh great... Now what." I groaned
"ALERT! ALERT! PATIENT 6-2-7'S ESCAPED! WE REPEAT! PATIENT 6-2-7'S ESCAPED!"
"PATIENT 6-2-7?! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!" Clean Up shouted as she ran away
Confused I just left the room and marked the therapy visit off my list. "Next."
"Next? Oh ho ho. I'll tell you what's next little filly."
My eyes widened to dinner plates as I saw who was Patient 6-2-7.
"Oh fuck. It's __________ Y2K." I squeaked before taking a soda and pulling out two silenced pistols as well as taking a health pipe, "I'm about to do everyone a favor and lay you out."
"I'd like to see you try." he taunted as he pulled out a lever action shotgun
"Shit..." I went
I then took cover behind a downed stretcher and fired to my hearts content at the oncoming pedophile.
"Get down and bend over!" he shouted as he blew away the stretcher
"WOOB, WOOB, WOOB, WOOB, WOOB!" I went as I fled into a nearby hospital room
I then switched over to the AIDS Syringes and just facepalmed.
Wow, I'm such an idiot.
"Come out, come out little fily. Papa bear's got a gift for you! It's long, hard, and between my legs!"
"HOW ABOUT SOME AIDS YOU PEDOPHILIC PIECE OF SHIT!"
Before __________ could react he was hit with the AIDS Syringes to no end.
"Send my regards to Tirek in hell." I growled as __________ puked up blood and fell over dead
As I left the hospital I saw the guards looking confused as well as the staff.
"No need to fear. __________ Y2K otherwise known as Patient 6-2-7, has been dealt with. PERMINANTLY."
And before anyone could ask, I was already walking away.
As I made my way towards Sugarcube Corner I had a little inner monologue conversation with Apple Bloom.
You were pretty silent back there when I was fighting against __________ .
Even ah was smart enough ta know ta shut up at that moment. That was yer fight. Not mine.
I suppose that's fair enough. Though I still think the writer was on crack and bullshited an excuse for something to happen to me. Then again that's half of Postal 2's tasks in a nutshell. There's always some bullshit excuse as to why one thing happened to the Postal Dude.
Soon enough I arrived at Sugarcube Corner where Pinkie Pie was waiting for me.
"Oh, goodie! Someone came to help me make cupcakes!" Pinkie went in excitement
"I'm mostly doing it for the money, but whatever."
"We'll get started soon enough, but first I want you to try one of my newest creations!" she said offering a cupcake
"OH HELLLL NAW!!!" I went as I pulled out the Silenced Pistol, "You ain't turning me into a cupcake you psycho bitch!"
Instantly her mane deflated and she got an evil smile.
"You know what's going on here, don't you Justin?" she went
"Justin? The hell are you talking about?" I asked
"NOW!"
Before I could even wonder what she was talking about I found myself knocked the fuck out. From what you ask? Well from the sound of the object, most likely a shovel. But before I fell to sleep, I heard Pinkie's voice one last time.
"Good work my apprentice. We'll break him and make him one of us eventually."
Here we go again...
I eventually awoke in a cell and sighed. Luckily for me, I had the box of matches but nothing else. I looked around to see if there was a way for me to escape and to my amusement, and slight annoyance, there was a sprinkler in the cell. Lighting a match and tossing it into said sprinkler an alarm was set off as the cell opened up and I made a break for the door. Buuut when I did I instantly found my first obstacle. A phonograph with a message to it saying play me. Figuring I had no say in the matter I decided to hit play and it played nothing but static for a few seconds before clearing up.
"Hello, Justin. I wanna play-"
"MY NAME ISN'T FUCKING JUSTINE!!!"
"SILENCE!!!!" cried Pinkie's voice, "As I was saying, I wanna play a little game."
"Fuck me I got dragged into a game of Saw." I groaned
"If you're hearing this, then this means you have escaped your cell. I congratulate you. But you may have also noticed you don't have your weapons on you anymore as well."
"Yeah, I was wondering about that."
"You'll get them back eventually, but for now, all you have with you is a box of matches. You'll need them. The game's simple. This game is designed to break you to your very core. Make you so broken in mind and soul that you'll have no choice but want to join me and my apprentice in turning ponies into cupcakes."
"Don't you mean Mind, BODY, and Soul?"
"Why would we do anything to your body? There's nothing even there to break outside of a few bones, but even that would be unsatisfying."
"Eh. Good point."
"Anyways, I can guarantee you that the next time we meet face to face you'll be calling me master. These challenges will test you in both mind and soul. How much can you take before your mind collapses under the pressure? How much can you take before your soul gets crushed under all the weight of what you've done? Will you be as broken as Apple Bloom? Or will you be on of many to commit suicide from it all? The choice is yours."
And like that, the Phonograph ended.
"What the hell was she even talking about? Also, why does she keep calling me Justin? My name's Postal Bloom."
"Hey Justin, you gonna be up for tomorrow's sleepover gal?"
"What the?!" I squeaked as I looked around, "K... Katie? ... Get ahold of yourself. Your starting to lose it."
I took one step and felt dizzy to no end.
"I don't feel so good..." I groaned before continuing on
The next room held Cheerilee strapped onto a table.
"What the?!"
A phonograph from nearby came to life.
"Hello, Justine. As you see before you, Cheerilee has been strapped down to one of my tables. Here is the first thing to break you down. You have to cut her open and rip her insides out within a matter of 60 seconds. If you don't? Well then the next door will be forever closed. Then your only way out will be-"
*SMASH*
"-what the f?!"
I had smashed the door down and set Cheerilee free.
"TIME OUT! THAT WAS A STEEL DOOR!"
"Yeah and I've got the body of a filly who belonged to an apple farmer."
"... Fuck." went Pinkie before the phonograph died down
"Hey, Cheerilee, you alright?" I asked
"I believe so... who are you?"
"Well just call me Postal Bloom."
"Um... well. Thank you, Postal Bloom."
"Though from what ah'm gatherin' from Pinkie, ya'll can call me Justin as well apparently."
"Uh... if you say so."
"Now I think the appropriate thing to do is get the hell out of here."
"As much as I don't appreciate that tongue, I have to agree."
Cheerilee and I then moved on to the next room. There we found another horrible sight. One of the flower ponies sliced open and missing their insides. Where were said insides exactly? On a table. Said table looked to have baking ingredients of all kinds. We then proceeded to puke our guts out before looking at a nearby phonograph that had come to life with laughter.
"Hello again, Justin. How broken are you now? Well, time to add to the pressure! There's but ONE simple task for you here. Bake cupcakes using the special ingredients on the table-"
*SMASH*
"-OH COME OOOON!!!!"
"Hell to the no." I shouted as Cheerilee and I made a break for it
We soon enough arrived at a turn that had a bit of a branch into the armory. There I got all my stuff back and headed further down the path with Cheerilee. However, when we reached the next room we found a psychopathic Apple Bloom waiting for us.
"Alright, then you son of a bitch! You don't wanna play by the rules?! Then I'll just have to kill you instead!" went Pinkie's voice over an intercom of sorts
"NGH!" I groaned in pain, "I feel like shit..."
"APPLE BLOOM! KILL THEM BOTH!"
"A-Apple Bloom!!! Snap out of it!!!" Cheerilee went trying to reason with Apple Bloom as she came closer wielding a knife
I pulled out the Stun Gun and rushed over to Apple Bloom and proceeded to shock her until she fell over spazzing out. At that point, I took out the Police Baton and bonked her over the head a few times until she snapped out of her trance.
"Wh... what happened?" she asked as she got up
"RAAAAAAAAAAUGGHHHHHHHH!!!!"
At the top of a set of steps was Pinkamena wielding a missile launcher.
"IM GONNA KILL YOU ALL!!!"
"Annnd the pink party crack addict has lost it." I went, "Get to cover girls. Make a run for it while I distract her."
"What?! What are ya goin' ta do!?" Apple Bloom asked
"Important Pony or not, that bitch is going down." I stated as I pulled out the lever action shotgun
Pinkie ran down the stairs and started firing shots off at me, but luckily another Health Pipe managed to make me SOMEWHAT numb to the pain. While I was busy fighting her off, Cheerilee and Apple Bloom managed to sneak by and escape to the upper levels. I then took a soda and another lever action shotgun appeared in my hoof. This one I used to blow off Pinkie's lower legs and take the missile launcher for myself. Which I luckily managed to hide away before the guard arrived in time to see Pinkie bitting at me. Don't ask how I was able to hide it. Not even I know where all this stuff's hiding in.
"OW! CRAZY BITCH GET OFF ME!" I hollered as I tossed her towards the Royal Guards, "Gentlemen I'm starting to think Shining Armor almost killing me was NOT just him finally losing it."
After me, Cheerilee, and Apple Bloom were questioned by the guards we went our separate ways and I checked off another to do objective. "One more to go."
The only thing left to do now was to find Diamond Tiara and try to make friends with her and Silver Spoon. No way am I gonna try and befriend the CMC, I don't wanna die today thank you very much. I went around asking ponies if they had seen her recently. Anyone who didn't comply after I asked them three times met a very... unfortunate end... to say the least. Soon enough I found the duo hanging around Ponyville Town Hall.
"Hey there." I said as I went up to them
"Apple Bloom? What's with that look?" Diamond Tiara asked
"I ain't Apple Bloom. You should know who I am already, but in case you never read the paper, I'm Postal Bloom."
"Postal Bloom? What kind of a name is that?" Silver Spoon questioned
"It's best you not know. *coughing fit* But if ya want ya'll can apparently call me Justin as that apparently was mah name before ah got changed inta Bloom. *coughing fit* Though I much rather go by Postal Bloom."
"Um... okay? Why did you come to see us?" Diamond Tiara further asked
"I figured as long as I was here I should make at least a few friends and I figured you two were perfect candidates. I'm not going with the CMC because those three would go and get me killed even IF they are SEMI more responsible. I feel like I'm the only one with any actual brains around this place. Twilight's not really been that much help, neither have any of these townsfolk, or some of them have just up and tried to kill me."
"Sounds like you've got quite the bad luck." Silver Spoon pointed out
"More like I've been targeted for death and now life's doing everything in its power to screw me in some way, but yeah that sounds about right." I agreed
"Heh. Thinking hanging out with us will soften up that bad mojo you've got eh?" Diamond Tiara giggled
"Yeah possibly help calm my mind as well. A lot of things have been on it but I just can't seem to clear them from my mind."
"Don't worry. Wanna come over to my house for a sleepover then? I know ALL kinds of tricks to help a pony clear their mind." Tiara giggled
......
Yer gross ya know that.
HEY YOU'D BE GETTING DIRTY THOUGHTS TOO IF YOU HEARD THAT AS WELL!
Fair enough.
"Sounds awesome. I'll DEFINITELY be there." I said offering a hoof bump that Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon returned
"See you at around 20:30." Diamond said to me before I left
"Mission accomplished. Time to head home." I said to myself as I headed in the direction of Sweet Apple Acres
Once I packed and told Applejack where I was going I made the treck to Diamond's house and I arrived at EXACTLY 20:30 where Diamond Tiara opened the door for me.
"You made it!"
"I always come on time." I grinned
EWWWW!!!
Hey, your the one thinking dirty this time! Not me!
D'OH!!
A Mad Man in A Filly's Body
Diamond Tiara's House: Night
Once I packed and told Applejack where I was going I made the treck to Diamond's house and I arrived at EXACTLY 20:30 where Diamond Tiara opened the door for me.
"You made it!"
"I always come on time." I grinned
EWWWW!!!
Hey, your the one thinking dirty this time! Not me!
D'OH!!
"Well come in, Silver Spoon's waiting in the bedroom." Dimond stated before heading upstairs herself
"I do NOT like the way she said that." I shuttered
Ah, couldn't agree more.
Either way, I headed upstairs and found everything looked to be pretty much normal.
Okay looking good so far.
"Hey Postal Bloom!" Silver went as I entered and closed the door behind me, "You're just in time!"
"Just in time? For what?" I asked sounding a little bit frightened
Silver Spoon took off her glasses and Diamond Tiara took off her tiara.
I don't like where this is going.
Silver Spoon then took off her necklace.
Wait please Diamond ya don't understand! You don't know what you're doin' here!
"Are you ready?" Silver Spoon asked giving some bedroom eyes
STOP!!!
"Ready for what?" I asked, sweat coming from my forehead
Wait, what are you-?! GET THAT AWAY FROM ME! NO! GET OFF OF ME! DON'T STICK THAT IN THERE! AAAAHHHHHHHHHHH-
Juuust kidding! X3
"Ready for what?" I asked, sweat coming from my forehead
"For a makeover silly!" Diamond Tiara giggled, "What? Did you think we were hinting at something else?"
"N-no. Not at all."
Actually, I thought you actually were hinting at something else! Something I'm not okay with in any way!
The quickly disrobed me and I felt quite naked without all that clothing on me. But, that being said they quickly began to do all sorts of stuff to me. They dyed my hair a new color, from Red to Black to be more specific, they even dyed my fur a new coat as well. A Greyish-Pink to be more specific. They even did my hair in a new style. One that looked.... kind of.... familiar...
AUGH! MY HEAD...
"Hey, Justin! Are you gonna be up for tomorrow's sleepover gal?"
"Unfortunately not Katie. I've got tons of shit to do later tomorrow."
"UGGHHH! You never have any free time! You're always busy stuffing your face with a book or too busy doing guy things compared to the girl things you do! Are you SURE your not a transgender?!"
"Katie, we've been through this. I visited the gender therapist, I'm not a Transgender. I just like to do boy things more than girl things at times. And for the record, sure, I stuff my face full of books a lot, but that's because I'm trying to fucking survive high school you jack ass! Middle School was tough enough as it was, now I'm just trying to make sure I don't fuck up and get held back all because of one mistake I made!"
"Jesus girl, calm down!"
"I... you're right Katie. I'm just a bit shook up is all. Preparation for finals has been killer and the announcement for who got chosen for Valedictorian's gonna be anytime today. And from what I've heard the teachers saying, it looks like I might get chosen."
"Hehehe! Sorry to laugh, but you? Valedictorian? You'd have better luck trying to get yourself in trouble with how much of a recluse you are outside of me."
"Heh... I guess that WAS kind of a funny thought. I think you might be right. ... This time anyway."
"GIRL!!!"
"I REGRET NOTHING! HAHAHA! STOP THAT, IM TOO TICKLISH!!! AHHAHAH!!!"
"Justin Courtney please report to the office at this time. Justin Courtney to Principal-"
"POSTAL BLOOM!?"
I snapped out of my trance to see Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon looking worried to no end.
"What's going on?! Is the mansion under attack!?" I asked
"No! You zoned out and started crying for some reason! Are you alright!?" Silver asked
"I... yeah... It's just... that hairstyle you put my mane into it.... brought back an old memory. I remember who I am now. I'm Justin Courtney. A social recluse just TRYING to survive high school and... I can't recall anything else."
"Whoa... One hairdo did that to you?" Diamond went in shock
"T-try dying my tail and changing it to match my mane!" I quickly went, "It might jog my memory more!"
They quickly did so and like that... I got another headache.
AUUUGHH!!! OWWW! FUCK!
"What is it? What did they call you for?"
...
"No. No they didn't!"
...
"OHHHH YEAH, YOU DID IT! YOUR VALEDICTORIAN!!!"
"S-S-STOOP! KATIE YOU'RE GONNA MAKE ME BUT A GUT IF YOU KEEP TICKLING ME! HE-HE-HELLLP!"
.....
"*coughing/puking* Why....?! What did- *vomit* WHAT DID I EVER DO TO YOU?!"
"YOU TOOK IT AWAY FROM ME! VALEDICTORIAN WAS SUPPOST TO BE MY GRAND ACHIEVEMENT! MY HONOR! THAT HONOR WOULD'VE GOTTEN ME INTO BETTER COLLEGES!!! BUT LIKE ALWAYS YOU TOOK IT FROM ME!!!"
"IF YOU WEREN'T GOING AROUND AND SLEEPING WITH ALL THE DAMN BOYS YOU SET YOUR SIGHTS ONTO MAYBE YOU'D HAVE ACTUALLY EARNED THAT DAMNED TITLE YOU STUCK UP SPOILED BITCH!!!"
*SHLICK*
"AAAUUGHHH!!!!"
"WHY THE HELL WON'T YOU JUST DIE?!?!!?"
"FUCK YOU! THAT'S WHY!!!"
*BIFF*
"AAUGHHH!!! MY NOSE! MY PERFECT NOSE!!!"
*SHLICK*
"AAHHHHGHHH! GET YOUR FILTHY HANDS OFF ME YOU BITCH!!!"
*smash*
"OW MY CHLAVICHORD!!!"
"YOU FUCKING BITCH! YOU RUINED MY PERFECT FACE!!!"
"Heh! Hey, it's not my fault, book the kid with the keyboard!"
"YOUR GONNA PAY FOR THIS!!!"
*smash*
"GAUUGH!!"
*shatter*
"MY ARM!!!"
"Aughhh...... *floor hitting sound effect* ......too... much... blood... lost...."
"YOU RUINED MY LIFE, NOW IM GONNA REPAY YOU BY TAKING YOURS IN RETURN!!!"
"Hehehe... You may do that... but we'll see who gets the last laugh... You can't expect to just walk out of here looking like that can ya? Don't even think about trying to look for makeup... I already burned it all before you got here..."
*SHLICK*
"GRAUUGHH!!!"
*SHLICK*
"JUST-"
*SHLICK*
"FUCKING-"
*SHLICK*
"DIE ALREADY!!!!"
*SHLICK*
*police sirens*
"NO, NO, NO! IM NOT GOING TO JAIL! NOT NOW, NOT EVER!!!"
*clank*
"SHE'S GETTING AWAY!"
"h... h.... help.... me................"
"Hahahaha.... I'd hate to see such a life gone to waste."
"wh... whu.... th.... thats... im... possi....ble......................."
"I remember everything...."
Author's Note
NOW the story's beginning to pick up. I guess ya'll were getting pretty tired of just nothing but boring shit happening weren't ya?
A Mad Man in A Filly's Body
"I remember everything." I repeated to Twilight as I stood before her in my new look, minus the fact I was still wearing the Postal III Dude's outfit minus the sunglasses due to the fact Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon suited me up with some blue contact lenses as well
"Please! Tell me what you remember!" Twilight asked as she took out a phonograph to record everything
My name is Justin Courtney. I was a social recluse who didn't have many friends outside of one I've known since middle school. Her name was Katie. She and I were the closest of friends one could ever get. We even got matching tattoos on our right hands to signify our friendship. A shield with three lines reminiscent of the French flag in different blue tones, with two hearts in the middle also in different shades of blue. Behind it was a Baseball Bat pointing at an acute angle and a shovel pointing at an obtuse angle.
I didn't really talk to anyone outside of her, and because of that, I didn't really make any enemies or friends outside of her. I was mostly just doing whatever I could to just try to survive Middle School and High School so I tended to spend a lot of my time in books and isolating myself so I could get the best grades I could because I knew one mistake was all it would take to get me held back. Something I DID NOT want.
But because of that I also found my love of computer games. Specifically, a game known only as Postal 2. A computer game that's notorious for being called the video game that's only as violent as you are. Needless to say, being a social recluse had its... downsides. One of those being anger towards others for their stupidity. That game let me take out ALL my anger in the only way Postal 2 can. Kill everyone you see. It was an amazing stress reliever and I quickly found myself a fan of the way it presented its humor and played.
But when I wasn't playing, there WAS someone who forced themselves into being my enemy for the most bullshit reason. Her name was Jackie Parvin. She was the captain of the Cheerleading Team and had the whole school wrapped around her finger the instant she showed up. But around Junior year something changed. She started calling me her rival for some reason, but I quickly found out why. Due to the fact I kept to myself a lot and stayed to the books, I kept getting better grades than her in every class I took.
That was the pettiest and selfish thing I had ever heard of for calling someone their rival. She had the whole school wrapped around her finger, so why would she care about grades? I quickly found out why as well by interrogating one of her friends, the Postal Dude way, and found out she wanted to become Valedictorian. She wanted it all. She wanted to be embedded into the school's history books. She wanted to be known as the girl who didn't need to do any effort to get to the top.
But by her logic me, LOGICALLY, getting better grades than her, BECAUSE I was actually putting effort, it was seen as me challenging her for the throne when I really wasn't. Then by the time, it came to announce the Valedictorian around finals, when news broke out that I was chosen, she became livid. The day after graduation she broke into my home... injured my parents and.... we had a struggle for a while and... she... killed me...
"K-KILLED YOU?!!?" Twilight shouted in panic, "B-B-BUT HOW ARE YOU RIGHT HERE THEN?!"
"Let me finish you dunce." I groaned
"Sorry..."
But she didn't REALLY kill me, just heavily injured me to the point of near death but she might as well have killed me. I thought that was it. All my hard work towards getting a diploma was gone, but... some... THING... rescued me. I know who it was. Discord.
"Discord- saved you?! Are we SURE this is the same Discord we're talking about?" Twilight asked
"I recognized that voice and cloven hoof anywhere." I stated, "He gave me an offer. He'd let me live under one condition. But I didn't give him the chance to say what that condition was. I took it without hearing him out. By why wouldn't I?! I was on my death bed, you understand right!?"
"In a way..."
"He did warn me to prepare for unforeseen consequences... but I think I know now what those unforeseen consequences were. This voice in my head. It's not Apple Bloom's at all. It's someone else's."
Ain't that right Corey Cruise Postal Dude?!
I'd much rather go by Alternate Postal Dude, but ya go with that.
"I'll see if I can get Fluttershy to talk to Discord about this. While I do appreciate the fact he tried to save someone's life, he's still gonna get a scolding for making a deal."
"Do you HONESTLY think he'll listen..."
"No, but it's worth a shot."
Me, Diamond Tiara, and Silver Spoon eventually went to Sugarcube Corner where we were served some ice cream by Pinkie Pie- WAIT WHAT?!
WHAT THE?! HOW THE?! WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE?!?! I FREAKING TOOK HER LEGS OFF WITH A LEVER ACTION SHOTGUN!!!
Hehahahaha!!
WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO ME?!!?
Let's just say I may have tampered with your memories a bit to make them a bit more fun.
MORE FUN?! I THOUGHT I HURT PINKIE!
Nope. You just did the boring job. Nothing more.
THEN WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED IN THE DAY 11 CHAPTER THEN?!!? Wait... for that matter... how real have the past chapters been?!
I ain't telling. Where's the fun in that?
Oh great well this is gonna be quite the mind fuck.
And that's where the fun comes in.
"JUSTIN!" shouted Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon
"I WASN'T UP PLAYING APOCALYPSE WEEKEND!" I shouted before blushing in embarrassment, "I zoned out again didn't I..."
"Yeah, what happened?" Silver Spoon asked
"I was busy having a bit of an argument with this damn voice in my head. I think this is what Discord said when he mentioned preparing for unforeseen consequences. This damn voice or whatever it is is messing with my memories, like yesterday when I went to help Pinkie Pie with her baking, he messed with it to make me remember her knocking me out and trying to mentally break me into becoming her psycho killer apprentice. In reality, I just did the job and that was it. Now I can't tell what memories after my arrival here are real or twisted."
With the way you put it, you make this whole thing sound more cliche by the second.
Hey, fuckhead, I'd like to see you describe it without making sound cliche!
Touche.
"More so- *coughing fit* -it seems to be taking over my voice from time to time almost as if it was some kind of psychotic dark side I've been hiding in my mind for years but could just never express it because if I did it would just kill everyone in its sight. ...... For the love of all that is holy tell me you heard my voice change..."
"How could we not..." Silver Spoon went as her and Diamond Tiara's eyes were as wide as pie plates
"Oh thank god I'm not going crazy." I sighed in relief, "For a second there I thought that was the voice tampering with my hearing."
"I wonder why Twilight and the others haven't done anything to help you. You told Twilight what's going on with you now and you even, somewhat, remember how you got here." Silver Spoon pointed out
"My guess? They actually can't do anything about it." I explained, "More than likely they can't do anything because so far they can't tell how far this voice has damaged my mind."
"Did you explain to Twilight about what had been going on?" Diamond Tiara asked
"Seriously? How COULD I without the possibility of ending up in an insane asylum at the time?!" I replied
"Oh..."
"Besides. Back then I was under the notion I used to be a dude who wound up like that and went postal in my room because of this damn voice in my head taking over for the past many days. How the hell was I suppost to guess all I was seeing/remembering wasn't real? This damn voice is more cognitive than you girls realize. It's trying to take me over in both name, appearance, identity, and everything else and I can't do a damn thing to fight back."
Yeah and soon enough you'll be on another murder rampage in no time.
Are you suppost to be some kind of twisted hybrid of the Postal III Dude and the Demon from Postal 1/Redux? Because you act an awful lot like the demon at times.
Mayyybeee.
Well that certainly explains a whole lot.
"Hey cheer up, things usually never end badly around here." Diamond Tiara reassured
"I can garuntee you that you'll feel better by the end of the month. Twilight always manages to find solutions last minute anyway." Silver Spoon added
"Yeah, I suppose your right." I agreed as I began to eat away at my ice cream, "I could REALLY go for a change of clothes though, the ones I'm wearing just... don't feel right."
"Why do you wanna wear cloths? We practically go around naked anyways." Silver Spoon stated
"One, it helps me feel at ease with myself. And two, look whose talking ms pear necklace."
"Touche."
"But afterward, you gotta make friends with the CMC."
"WHAT!? Why?! Those three are gonna get me killed!" I went to Diamond Tiara
"They've, somewhat, changed since those days. You shouldn't need to worry about anything. You couldn't make any better friends." Diamond Tiara reassured
"If... if you say so. But first, let's finish our ice cream." I smiled
The sudden sound of a door being bashed down made my face go from a smile to "I'm gonna go fucking postal" in just one second. Another griffon bandit had attacked.
"THIS IS A STICKUP! HAND OVER THE BITS AND NO ONE GETS HURT!"
Everyone else made a duck for cover or stook their hooves up in the air.
"Freeze!" went Shining Armor as he entered the building
Well, that certainly clarifies things!!!
Wow. You sound REALLY angry.
OH! I FUCKING WONDER WHY!!!
"Don't move! Or this filly gets it!!!" The Bandit shouted as he took me in an attempt to have a hostage
...... Heartbeat ......
...... Heartbeat ......
Heartbeat ...... Heartbeat
Heartbeat ...... Heartbeat ...... Heartbeat
Heartbeat, Heartbeat, Heartbeat, Heartbeat, HEARTBEATHEARTBEATHEARTBEATHEARTBEATHEARTBEATHEARTBEATHEARTBEATHEARTBEATHEARTBEAT....................
Going postal.
I bit into the Griffon's Tallon making him yell out in pain as I freed myself from his grasp by ripping it clean off and tossing it into a nearby jukebox that played a VERY messed up tune.
"Awww, do you have a boo-boo?" I taunted as I pulled out the Silenced Pistol, "Bleed."
Two rounds and the griffon was on the floor crying for assistance.
"Sissyyy!" I went before shooting another round into his wing making him cry out more, "Wussyyyy!" Once again another round into the other wing, "Don't be a sissy!" I fired one more round, this one went straight through his neck but didn't kill him, "Ohhh did that hurt? Beg for this."
He couldn't say anything, he was bleeding out too much.
"Die like the dog you are." I stated before finishing him off with a bullet to the head, "Judge, jury, and executioner. All of these bandits must die. Where is their camp?"
A Mad Man in A Filly's Body
Diary:
This would, to my recollection, be the last time I ever went on another murder rampage. I just couldn't take it anymore. Those damn bandits had got on my last nerve, I just HAD to let that voice take over for me I was so angry. But at the same time, it allowed me to see just how truly dangerous it really was if I let it completely take me over. It was after this that I started to better myself, not just for the sake of the others...... but for my own sanity.
I stood on the outskirts of the castle of the two sisters. This was the location in which the bandits had made their camp. And I was intent on solving the issue once and for all. I noticed my first targets sitting on some sniper posts. I pulled out the bow and arrows and in a matter of a few minutes, they were killed. Taking my opportunity I crossed the bridge and threw a stick of lit dynamite to the door and destroyed it upon impact sending the bandits on high alert.
"All must die." I said to myself as I pulled out the missile launcher and went ham on the bandits as they appeared, "Burn!" I then tossed a couple of Molotov Cocktails into the mix and laughed as they all screamed in terror, "Burn baby, burn! Is it hot in here, or is it just you? Man, I love a good Barbeque. Hehehehahahahahaaaa! Killing is good for the soul!"
I then raided their armory for supplies and found myself with tons of new toy- I mean weapons to kill with- I mean to defend myself with. A kitchen knife, Double Barrel Sawed Off, MP5, Flash Grenades, M79, and the Napalm Launcher. These griffons have the right idea when it comes to weapons. That or some writer lost their tiny mind and put them in this vault for the hell of it because Griffons are the only logical creatures in the show who could even use guns. Well them and dragons I suppose.
But, after raiding said armory more bandits seemed to appear.
Is it just me or are these bandits gonna keep coming until the leader's dead?
Either way, it gave me an opportuinty to test out my new toy- I mean weapons in all sorts of ways. But the more I killed, the more kept coming, but the more that kept coming the more sadistic I got with the ways I killed them by combining weapon attacks like using the double barrel to blow the legs off of one and following up with using the machete as a boomerang to slice his head off and take out any others as well before returning back to my hands, er hooves. The flashbang certainly came in handy at times when it got really crowded, though when that happened I just tossed a flashbang, sniffed some catnip, and went absolutely postal with the can of Stynx, Weed Whacker, and Fire Axe.
By the time the Catnip slow motion came to an end, what lied before me were bodies upon bodies either cut to pieces, on fire, in half, or all of the above. I cricked my neck some before heading to the throne room, murdering more bandits along the way, and saw who its leader was. A female griffon. Why does that not surprise me...
Hmmm. Haven't used the scissors yet...
"So. Your what my bandits have been referring to as the Postal Filly." she said before pulling out an M60
Who does she think she is, Zack Ward?
"You've exterminated so many of our griffon kind, I'm gonna return the favor by killing y-"
She suddenly found herself screaming at the top of her lungs as BOTH her eyes had been hit with a pair of scissors blinding her and making her drop the weapon.
"Sorry, but you don't seem to get it. I'm not some Postal Filly..."
I then pulled out the Scythe.
"Death is my master. I am the angel of death! DIE!"
SCHLICK.....
...............................................................................................
"I regret nothing."
THUMP!
I woke up with a headache outside of the Castle of the Two Sisters to see it on fire.
Let 'em burn.
I then heard the sounds of footsteps and looked to see the Mane 6, CMC, Diamond & Silv, as well as a few members of the guard and Shining Armor rush towards me, only to be in shock at the sight before them. I was also shocked at the sight of my own dirty work. But it was then that I realized the danger this voice in my head possessed, as did Twilight and the others. If I couldn't find a way to cure it sooner or later, this voice could destroy all of Equestria and beyond.
A Mad Man in A Filly's Body
Day 13 - First Half of the Day
When morning came all I could do was look at myself in the mirror, but instead of my reflection looking back at me, I saw what I had been.
"I know now just how dangerous you are Postal Filly."
"I thought we agreed on the name Postal Bloom."
"That wasn't until I remembered my REAL past you son of a bitch."
"Hehehahahahaaaa. Fine. Then it's settled. Call me the Postal Filly."
"I won't let you take over my mind you psychotic reincarnation of the Postal 1 Demon!"
Suddenly I wasn't feeling right.
"I don't feel so good..."
"Yeah, withdrawals a bitch ain't it?"
"AUUUGH!!!" I screamed in pain as I held my chest from the pain, "Health Pipe my ass! That stuff is addictive!"
"Hehehe. Don't you be worrying about your sensitivity snowflake. I'll be out of your hair soon enough."
"Wait, what are you talking about?"
"I'd tell ya but that would be no fun. But I will give ya a parting gift, THINK FAST!"
I suddenly screamed in pain as I fell to the floor with an overwhelming headache.
"YOU UNDERHANDED BITCH!!!"
All I could hear was the Postal Demon's laughter before Big Mac, Applejack, Apple Bloom, and Granny Smith came to my aid. All I could hear was their cries asking me if I was okay before I once again blacked out from the pain.
I awoke to find myself lying on skulls and looking like my old human self again. Then as I began to get up and look at my surroundings, I quickly found myself in what looked to be a manifestation of the Postal 1 menu screen. That was when I saw her though. Postal Bloom, or should I say The Postal Filly looking like her EQG Apple Bloom counterpart only with a red bow and wearing the Postal III Dude's outfit.
"You." I growled
"Hehehe. Welcome to the darkest part of your mind Justin." The Postal Filly laughed, "This is where I manifested."
I instantly gave a shocked look.
"You didn't think that I was just something Discord created when you made that deal, did you? No. I'm the manifestation of the darkest part of your mind. I'm the thoughts you constantly suppressed. Your urges to maim, kill, harm, this is where I resigned."
"But I-"
"You honestly thought that playing Postal 2 was helping you calm yourself? You're dumber than you look. Playing that game never helped calm you down mentally, you know that. No. It was when you tried the original Postal and Postal Redux that you were truly calming down. You know that for a fact. Postal 2 could only satisfy you so much, but Postal was where you TRULY started being at ease with yourself no matter how much you tried to deny it. Hearing the sounds, watching as you slaughtered everyone to the voice of the demon cheering you on."
"QUIT IT WITH YOUR DAMN LIES!!!"
"Lies? Me? If anything your more the liar to yourself. I'll tell you what, let's make a deal. If I win a one on one against the both of us, you HAVE to tell the truth. If you win, which I HIGHLY doubt, I'll let you continue living on this fantasy that Postal 2 was what calmed you down."
"Either way you're never gonna quit until you've completely taken me over have you." I growled in response
"Nope."
"Let's get this over with then."
"And to make it fair, I'm gonna be sticking with the Postal 1 weapons along with the Redux exclusive Revolver. But you get only two weapons per group. Er, excluding the napalm one for very obvious reasons."
"Question, could a S.M.E.G count as a Toxic weapon?"
"Uh.... I guess? Why?"
She soon found out WHY. She barely had enough time to dodge an attack from my S.M.E.G. and switched to the lever action shotgun.
"Clever girl..." Postal Filly commented before having to dodge another attack
All she could do was dodge my attacks as I kept unloading my ammo. Eventually, I switched to Stynx and unleashed the torrent of hellfire towards the Postal Filly, but I soon found myself on the receiving end of a fire attack as The Postal Filly switched to her Flamethrower and attacked. I ran from the flames as fast as I could, but even in the darkest part of my mind I ran out of breath quickly and was relying on my body's natural adrenaline to keep myself from becoming Kentucky Fried Justin. But once the flames died down and The Postal Filly found out she ran out of ammo I tried to take my opportunity to strike back with the Stynx.... only to find out I was out as well.
"STUPID DEODORANT SPRAY!" I cursed before quickly running from The Postal Filly as she pulled out her AA-12 and attacked
Luckily I managed to dodge and run out of the way in time to hide behind a pillar and pull out the MP5. Switching to fully auto mode I jumped from the pillar and attacked. The Postal Filly screamed out in pain as she was hit but quickly managed to run away before pulling out her Beretta Moel 12 and attacking back forcing me to go back on the run as well. It was this back and forth contest all throughout the fight. Whatever weapon she pulled out, I pulled out the equalizer and so forth. She did manage to get a few hits in on me with her weapons, but so did I with mine, until I pulled out the one weapon I KNEW she didn't have. The Weed Whacker. Was using it in a gunfight suicide? That's not a question. It IS suicide! But I did it anyway. As soon as I had a clear shot I went in for a charge only for her to jump and kick me in the face hard enough to send me flying into a pillar and knock me to the ground. When I tried to get up I heard a click and saw her pointing the revolver at me.
"Bleed."
I closed my eyes only for her to not shoot.
"I win."
I sighed and got up.
"Okay... your right... Postal 1 DID give me more satisfaction over Postal 2."
"Was that so hard?"
"Fuck, you. The only reason it did was because of the way it played. It truly felt like I could just let go and kill to my heart's content in all kinds of different ways to truly vent my anger. Postal 2 is amazing, I'll say that, but Postal 1 is honestly the game I prefer if I'm gonna play a game to help me vent stress."
"Hehehe. But it's too late to come to terms with your past now. I'll be out of your hair soon enough."
"Wait what are you talking about?" I asked
Suddenly I had another headache and blacked out once again.
I awoke to find myself in the hospital once again, only this time I was in the bed itself and not covered in castings. Applejack and the others were busy hearing the news from the doctor. From what I could tell, they didn't find anything wrong with me and I must've passed out from the pain.
"ougghh...." I groaned to get their attention to the fact I was awake
"It looks like our patient is awake."
"Justin?! Oh, Justin, we were so worried about you, are you alright?!" Applejack asked as she went over to me
"No... no, I-I'm pretty fucking far from alright." I groaned
A Mad Man in A Filly's Body
Day 13 - Second Half of the Day
"So what's up doc?" I asked
"Your brainwaves seem to be fluctuating at an alarming rate, dropping and rising constantly. I'm afraid we're gonna have to keep you here for a few days to monitor you until your brainwaves are at a safe and stable condition. With the way it is now you risk having another blackout headache and possibly it even shutting down."
I gulped in fear. That HAD to have been the work of The Postal Filly.
"Can we still visit 'er?" Apple Bloom asked
"Of course, but be careful. One wrong move could cause another blackout headache. I'll leave you alone now but leave as soon as you can. The patient needs to be well rested." The Doc stated before leaving the room
At that time Twilight entered in.
"Did Discord crack?" I asked
"Yes."
"Really? Why was that? He usually tries to be as vague and semi-unhelpful as he possibly can."
"He didn't think it would've been this bad. He was watching everything that was going on."
That or he broke the 4th wall to READ what had been going on these past chapters.
"He said that had you not gone and blindly accepted his deal without him finishing he would've told you that the deal would've involved having a dark voice in your head trying to make you do the bad thing as opposed to the good one as a bit of a joke. ... He had no idea just how dark your mind really was. And, after seeing what he saw through a bit of a... AHEM ... trip so to speak." Twilight continued
Discord.... what did you do to her...
"But it's made me realize the danger of The Postal Filly as well. Currently, we're trying to decide on a plan to separate the two of you in mind, soul, and body."
"Twi, even ah know that'll just cause more problems than we can handle!' Applejack interjected
"Which is why we're working on it. The problem is every way we tried to go about it through simulations ended with the smae results. Ponies and other creatures are gonna die, and one or both of them will die from killing each other in the process too."
"So you're basically saying that there's no way you could separate us without death." I replied
"There's no beating around the bush. That's EXACTLY what I mean."
"Great..." I groaned in annoyance
"Hey, we're working with what we've got here! Even Discord, the master or god or whatever of Chaos, isn't wanting to take any chances!"
Discord? Not taking chances? Are we SURE this is the same Discord we've been talking about?
"Discord, the same Discord who plunged Equestria into chaos and anarchy, doesn't want to take a chance? Twi are ya sure this isn't a Discord from sum opposite alternate world or sumthin'?" Applejack went
"I know it sounds ludicrous Applejack, but it's the truth. Discord doesn't want to hurt anyone, in fact, he never meant to hurt anyone with this little prank. He just had no idea the amount of darkness that resided in Justin's mind."
"Yeah well, it's all fun and games until somepony gits hurt Twi! Even if Discord's twisted prank had gone the way he intended, Justin would've been broken more than she dagburn is already! She might've event went postal to the point of beyond repair!"
"She has a bit of a point." I added, "But did he intend to make me Apple Bloom? Was that ALSO part of his prank?"
.....
"I'll take that as a no then..." I sighed
"He intended to turn you into a full grown pony, but... something happened when he snapped his fingers and sent you to Equestria. We think that was when the voice tried to take over and turned you into Apple Bloom instead. Possibly because of the old saying 'appearances can be deceiving' at least from what we can gather anyways."
"But sauce..." I said like Corey Cruise
Also why does that vaguely remind me of one of the teased villains for the Season 8 finale? Hmm... Cozy Glow. Appearances can be deceiving... Oh... now I remember...
"Well, could you two possibly hurry up? The last time me and The Postal Filly talked she said she'd be out of my hair soon enough. I'm no psychology expert, but I'm pretty sure that's in no way a good sign."
"It's getting worse, sorry I'd love to stay and further talk, but I need to tell Discord about this right now!" Twilight panicked before teleporting away
"Yeah, not to sound rude, but for your own safety, ya might wanna leave too. The Postal Filly could try to take me over any second now." I told the Apple family, but before Apple Bloom left, "Hey Apple Bloom?"
"Hmm?"
"Hey, I'd love to talk with you, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo by yourselves sometime tomorrow. Sorry about thinking you three would kill me if I hung around you, I just used to be a recluse person outside of one friend I ever made and not counting Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon recently."
"Ahh, it's fine Justin. Does this mean ya'll wanna be friends?"
"Yeah. The more I make the saner I'll be. I think."
"See ya tomorrow then!" Apple Bloom went before leaving
Once I realized I was alone, I let out a sigh and looked into a mirror to see my own reflection looking back.
"You were awfully quiet during that whole thing. What's the matter run out of preset lines to say or something?"
....
"I know you were listening to me during that whole thing Postal Filly! Why didn't you talk?!?!"
....
"Are you intentionally ignoring me?! Are you doing this to make me look crazy?! Everyone already knows about you, so why don't you just speak to me damn it!!!"
....
"You know what? I don't have any time for this. Fuck you. I'm taking a nap."
I looked away from the mirror, closed my eyes, and took a deep sigh as I rubbed my face with my hooves... only to see the Postal Filly in front of me. I looked into her eyes and screamed before being pulled back to reality with a massive headache and a spaz attack going throughout my body. I couldn't control my movements at all, all I could do was flail around in the bed and scream my lungs out as doctors and nurses tried rushed in to try to calm me down. I think I blacked out once again, but this time I blacked out to the sound of the Postal Filly's own diabolical laughter.
A Mad Man in A Filly's Body
____________________
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............................
..............................
............................................
The blood of Equestria has been spilled. The blood of many innocents fill the air. Bodies upon boides lie in the halls of the once well preserved Castle of the Two Sisters, bodies burned and torn apart, all of it a sight to behold.
The blood I've spilled has once again brought a shadow upon this once semi-peaceful nation as the fate of its very future now lie in the hands of Twilight, Discord, and my own host Justin Courtney as they try to find a way to get rid of me.
Little do they realize just how futile their efforts to do so are. The more they get closer to a solution, the more I start to take over Justin's mind. The darkness that lied in this very woman's mind has made me more violent than I ever could've been, and soon enough I won't just be just a simple voice in her head. I'll drive her mad until I finally become whole and then no one will be safe.
I will bring death upon anyone who gets in my way. I will kill anyone and everyone.
I am The Postal Filly, and I am more than just a minion of death, I AM the Angel of Death.
A Mad Man in A Filly's Body
I eventually reawoke to see a nurse and the CMC as well as Diamond Tiara, Silver Spoon, Cheerilee and the students from the schoolhouse.
"Wh... what happened..."
"You've been out cold for two days." Nurse Redheart said as she brought in my dinner for the day, "You were having quite the panic attack a few days ago and we ended up having to knock you out with an anesthetic but... we accidentally gave you too much."
"Eh... can't blame you." I sighed as I ate some of the oatmeal, "Mmmnnn! My compliments to the cook this is the best oatmeal I've ever tasted! Also, what are the school kids doing here?"
"We may have accidentally spilled the beans about what was going on with you." Silver Spoon blushed in embarrassment
I then annoyingly huffed.
"Alright. Lay it on me. What's it gonna be? Sicko? Loony? Shouldn't be in an asylum? Everyone I've ever met, minus a few, have called me all sorts of names because of my... condition to say the least."
"Why in the heck would we do that?" said one of the students
"Condithon or not, you're athually kind of a cool pony."
Twist really needs to see a doctor about that lisp problem...
"You took out Ponyville's Griffon problem in just one day where the Royal Guards have had no choice but to arrest them one at a time due to Celestia wanting to show a moral high ground. Pffft. Like as if that has ever proven anything!"
Snips, for an idiot that was actually pretty cool of you to say.
"Well, she... wasn't exactly in the right mind when it happened, Snips." Silver Spoon objected, "She... kind of went postal because no matter where she goes trouble just seems to follow her like a stray dog."
"Ain't that the truth..." I groaned in agreement
"We even made you a few get well cards, even this big one!" Scootaloo went as cards were given to me and the big one as well
"C-cards? N... no one's ever done this for me. Only my family and that was for that time I slipped on black ice on my way to the school bus and I landed on my backpack to cushion the blow but forgot I had something inside and a pair of scissors stabbed me in my back."
I began to read them, both out loud and in my head, and as I read them, I couldn't help but let a few tears run by me. All of them were cheering me on, hoping for me to defeat The Postal Filly and saying they had my back 100%. They... they all considered me a friend? All of them? I then looked at the big card and while the poor drawing skills were obvious, I couldn't ignore what it was as a whole. It was me among all the other foals and Cheerilee in a big group hug with me standing tall over The Postal Filly cartoonishly beat up and bleeding out with the big message under the whole thing.
We'll Be Your Friends If No One Else Will
I couldn't hold it in anymore, put the card down and cried into my hooves.
"Justin? Are you alright?" Cheerilee asked as she put a hoof on me
"I... I just...... no one's ever been this kind towards me... Everyone I've ever met outside of Katie has either just ignored me or used my reclusiveness to take advantage of me in some way shape or form. But... you foals have been the first real kind creatures I've ever met... I just... I don't know what to say......."
What happened next was everyone either got in my bed or found some way to get to me and just simply gave me a hug. In response, I only cried harder. Until the left, I couldn't stop. When the did leave I put the cards on the dresser and fell off to sleep.
In my dream I saw myself playing with the other foals and going to school along with them, not a single thing ruined the day and throughout the dream, I was smiling and laughing. Those foals... they didn't have to do what they did... but... for some reason, it made me feel more at ease with myself. Was it because I now had more than just two friends? Was it because I was shown actual kindness since I arrived all those days ago? Was it because there were people who actually believed I could pull through? Was it all of the above? Or was it because of something else? That I don't know the correct answer to. All I knew for certain, were things were starting to look up for me.
........
But what happened next, put paid to those thoughts...
HeheheHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!
A Mad Man in A Filly's Body
When I was eventually released from the hospital, I was taken back to Sugarcube Corner where they were having a "Justin Courtney's Return From the Hosptial Party" most likely because of Pinkie Pie's doing since that mare just can help but throw a party for something. Everyone was there, even the students and Cheerilee. I hung out with them, the CMC, and Diamond Tiara & Silver Spoon the most while I was at the party mostly because I felt a LOT safer to them as compared to the others. I'll say it, despite living with Applejack and her family, I really didn't feel all that safe around them. Mostly because after what happened with Bab Seed back on Day 1 of my arrival I didn't want to risk them getting potentially harmed any further, but now that I've started to, mostly, get myself back in order I've slowly started to feel safer around them, but a bit too slowly if one were to look at it from an outsider's perspective.
Around this time Twilight had come to me with, what I thought at the time was, good news. She and Discord had discovered a way to separate us without anyone dying in the process. Or so she hoped anyway. What was that idea? I was to go through the portal to the Equestria Girls world. But that wasn't just it. Discord and Her were going to perform a mind, body, and soul separation spell on me, more specifically on the voice, while I was IN the portal. To her calculations, The Postal Filly would be completely separated from me and be the first one to enter to the human world where Sunset and her friends would wait with handcuffs to catch The Postal Filly off guard and capture her.
At the time this sounded like the best idea we could've done for me to get rid of that stupid voice in my head. But that was where my first mistake lied. I should've remembered that whenever Twilight makes a plan, something always tends to go wrong. And usually, when things go wrong, she tends to make the situation worse by completely going batshit crazy trying to find a solution to the problem when the REAL answer is usually staring at her right in the face and she just ignores it without a single thought. Most of the time anyway. But in case you were TL;DR my first mistake was even remotely trusting Twilight's plan from the getgo because when she makes a plan they tend to go wrong within the first minute of her executing it and when they do go bad, she ends up only making the situation worse than it already is most of the time.
As soon as the party was over, though, I ended up going with Twilight anyways without even thinking about what could go wrong because I was desperate to get this Postal Filly out of my head and start living a semi-normal life in Equestria. Though along the way for some reason I kept hearing this awful ringing in my ears that only seemed to be getting louder and louder as I reached Twilight's castle. But when we did reach it, the ringing stopped. I trudged on anyway because I wasn't about to let the Postal Filly get into my head. But as I moved on and followed Twilight the sounds of the demonic whispers had returned and for a while, everything in my vision began to distort and warp except for myself and Twilight. Still, I moved on.
I could hear another set of footsteps behind me, it didn't take one look to know it was the Postal Filly who was behind me but only in my mind as I knew she wasn't really there. Her attempts to drive me up the wall weren't going to work this time, and from the looks of things as shown by the fact my vision and hearing were back to normal following our arrival to the library section of the castle even the Postal Filly understood this. But I know that just because she backs off now, doesn't mean she won't try something later. Apparently Discord and Twilight had been trying to get my attention as well as shown by the fact when I snapped back to reality they were screaming my name.
"S... sorry... had another encounter..."
"Then we don't have another second of time to wast! Quick! Get in through the portal! Sunset and the others are ready!" Twilight quickly said
I nodded, gave a few deep breaths, and ran into the portal.
....................................... Heheheheheh hahaaaaaa
When I opened my eyes again I found myself within that space that lied within the portal, but I wasn't alone. That was where I saw the Postal Filly as well. She had orange hair that looked like Apple Bloom's with the exception of a three miss placed hairs, peach colored skin, semi-sharp white teeth, her eyes were nothing more than tiny black dots on the white surface, she wore a red button-up with a black strap going from her left shoulder to her side on top of it, blue jeans, black boots, red fingerless gloves, and a black trench coat with its sleeves rolled up. On the bottom left of the Trench Coat itself was what her cutie mark would be, a standing shovel on top of blood with the American flag tied onto the shovel and flowing. I looked at myself and noticed my appearance as well. Greyish-Pink skin, long spiked hair, long sleeved green and yellow-green striped shirt, jeans, and black converse sneakers. To top it all, on my hand was the tattoo my friend Katie and I got to symbolize our friendship.
The Postal Filly took one look at me, smirked, and gave me the middle finger before we both ended up vanishing from each other's sight. How so? I ended up falling to the ground of Canterlot High School, and before I knew it I was being attacked by Sunset and the others. I tried to get up, but every time I did, they just kept knocking me back down to the ground.
"Your not getting away you bastard!" Human Dash cursed as she got ontop of me and started to cuff me
"Hold it, you've got the wrong guy! I'm not the Postal Filly!" I pleaded before being pulled up by my hair
"Don't even try that bull shit. Twilight told us the Postal Filly would be coming out first and who came out first?" Sunset every smirked
"You've gotta understand the REAL Postal Filly switched places with me, LISTEN TO ME!!!" I tried to scream before I started to get taken away by Flash
"You've got the right to remain silent you sicko!" He said as he shoved me into the back of a police car, "Anything you say can and WILL be used against you!"
"IM NOT LYING, LISTEN TO ME!!!" I tried to scream before the door was closed on me
It was too late, I heard the sirens and saw I was getting further from CHS. All I could do was curl up into a ball and cry.
A Mad Man in A Filly's Body
One week. It's been one week since I was wrongly arrested by Sunset and the others of the Humane 7 and sent to jail by Shining Armor. All I did since then was cry in my sleep, eat whatever meals they were serving, and stayed in my cell. When I heard the sound of footsteps, I just looked down and didn't say a word.
"Justin!?"
I looked up and turned towards the cell door seeing Sunset. All I could do was a scowl.
"Oh. Well, look who it is."
"Look, look, I know, I know! We messed up big time! But this isn't the time for-"
"OH, I DO BELIEVE IT IS TIME FOR THIS!" I growled as I stood up and walked over to her, "Did it ever once strike odd to you how I looked?! And don't give me that appearances can be deceiving bullshit! There's another saying that makes that point null and void, YOU CAN TELL HOW A PERSON IS DEPENDING ON THEIR APPEARANCE!"
"Look, I know no amount of apologies can make up for the way mistook you for the Postal Filly, but Twilight never told us just what she might look like!"
"Look, just what's so important that you came here."
"The Postal Filly's terrorizing Ponyville with her new body! She didn't turn into a pony for some reason when she went back through the portal!"
"What?! How!?"
"I don't know!! I think she tampered with the portal!!"
"You gotta get me out of here, now! I'm the only one who can put a stop to her now!"
"Just what makes you so sure only you can stop her?"
"She came from the darkest part of my mind. So far only I've been able to harm her because of that."
"I... guess in a way that makes sense. It also explains how Twilight said nobody's been able to harm her no matter what they do. It's like their attacks just go through her."
"Darkness doesn't have a body. Only one's inner light can kill that which cannot be killed."
"What?"
"You know what I mean, just get me out of here. Wait. Do you even have the key?"
Sunset then pulled it out of her jacket.
"How?"
"Well-"
There were sounds of machine gun fire and my eyes, as well as hers, widened.
"I thought you said she was terrorizing Ponyville!!" I panicked as Sunset flipped through the keys
"I thought she was too! That's what Twilight's message said!" Sunset stuttered before finding the right key and unlocking my cell
"Wait... you don't think..." I said as I got out
"DON'T YOU DARE SAY IT!" Sunset screamed
But the second we heard the door opening...
Click
BANG!
Sunset took the first bullet right in a shoulder, the next ones hit her all over before the final shots made sure she was dead as she hit the ground. I looked at her corpse for what felt like hours before the next click and the sound of reloading caught my attention.
"Y... you....."
I looked to see the girl herself, the Postal Filly wielding an M16A2/3 and giving her toothy grin. I began to back up much to her amusement.
"Look at me... I told you I'd be out of your hair soon enough."
TO BE CONTINUED...
A Mad Man in A Filly's Body
"Look at me... I told you I'd be out of your hair soon enough."
"Why?! Why did you come here?!"
"Why did I come here? To finish the job."
"Finish, what?! You practically already won because those idiots thought I was the Postal Filly due to Twilight telling them that the Postal Filly would appear first out of the mirror, so why did you come here?! What possible business could you have involving this world?!"
"Simple. I'm back to finish what I started, and that's break your mind."
I then proceeded to laugh like a maniac.
"Break my mind? Break, my, mind? You have to be joking because you already know how this is going to go down you DC freak. You can't break me THAT easily. I won't let you."
"But I don't have to do anything to break your mind. I already have."
"SPEAK FUCKING ENGLISH!!!"
She then pulled out a clipboard and tossed it my way.
"What the- .... n... no......"
My eyes widened when I finally got a good look at it. It was a list of names, but no ordinary list. It was a list of her victims. Mayor Mare, Granny Smith, Shining Armor, Flash Sentry, Twilight, Starlight Glimmer, Trixie, Big Mac, Applejack ........
"N... no..... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I screamed in absolute horror as I dropped to my knees and dropped the list before grabbing my head
The next names on the list made me break down. Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo, Silver Spoon, Diamond Tiara, Snips, Snails, Twist, all of the names numbers 10, starting at Apple Bloom, all the way to number 48 were ponies from the school, and Cheerilee's name was the last one. The next two names were Rarity and Rainbow Dash.
No.... not them too......
Holiday and Lofty, Scootaloo's aunts... Gallus, Yona, Sandbar.....
"Who knew Dragons were impervious to bullets am I right? And that damn hippogriff was too fast for me." Postal Filly joked
Hondo Flakes and Cookie Crumbles... now everyone in Rarity's family is dead.... Pinkie Pie... Flutters... Muffins... 61 to 70 were Royal Guard Ponies.... but it didn't help cushion the blow I suffered from looking at those names. The Postal Filly then picked up the list and added more names to it. Those being Human Shining Armor, 72 to 82 being Police officers, and 83, Sunset Shimmer. How do I know this? After writing the names down she grabbed me by my jaw and forced me to look at the names.
"Beautiful ain't it." The Postal Filly said as she let go and punched me to the ground, "A real work of art it is."
"Why?! Why are you doing this!? Just what reason do you have for killing everyone!? They've done nothing to you!"
"Don't you mean us?"
"Don't you even DARE compare yourself to me!"
"Hehehe. Why compare? We WERE one being at one point. But I'm not doing this because I don't have a soul, but because I wanna make everyone suffer. No matter how much you try to deny it, we're one in the same. The pain you felt while I was part of you, I felt. The sadness you felt when I was in your mind, I felt. Anger and hatred you felt? They fed me, made me into what I was as you kept pushing your hate and anger into the dark corner of your mind to keep up a good image. You were constantly used by people for your smarts, your reclusiveness made you an easy target to be emotionally abused by people because no matter how many times you were abused you just kept on helping people despite the fact you knew you would just get backstabbed again, and again, and again, and again. Either you're really stupid, or you just like to have people toy with your emotions."
"You're pathetic. Your reclusiveness isolated you to the point where you only ever made one friend despite being a fan of the very show this world was a part of! MLP kept telling you how to make friends, but you just never took those lessons to heart. You just kept on being a social recluse and paid the price for it over and over again. You don't have a single bit of a spine in you, your weak and helpless, you constantly rely on the luck of an imaginary set of dice to decide your outcomes, that's not how things REALLY work little girl. And another thing, your so-called backstory? What backstory do you have to tell? Your basically a nobody who lies on the luck of a dice roll to decide her fate like as if life's some big game of D&D and only died like you did because some popular girl decided you were her rival for no fucking reason and went postal on you because of something as petty as a stupid title like Valedictorian."
"Heh. The only reason anyone really wanted to be your friend in the first place was that ever since Season 4, Friendship just stopped meaning anything! It became like the force where you either have it and everything's great, or you don't and you're worse off because of it! There's no magic in friendship anymore! They just did it because they didn't want the recluse to BE a recluse! Tell me! If you had to choose between being handed friendships on a silver platter because they were being selfish and petty because they don't want to deal with another potential threat and making said friendships a luck of the dice on if those said friendships were toxic or not, or having to work your way from the ground up to see just who your real friends are and see said friendships grow and evolve, which would you pick!?"
"T... the second one..."
"Exactly. They never cared for you. They just didn't want to see you turn into another threat. But I'll make sure, these people NEVER try to use you. Once I'm finished, I'll just kill myself and let you live on with your life here-"
"No..."
"What?"
"I, said, NO!!!" I shouted as I got back up
"What the?!"
"SO WHAT IF I WAS USED, SO WHAT IF I WAS HANDED SHIT TO ME ON A SILVER PLATTER, SO, FUCKING, WHAT, IF THEY WERE POSSIBLY ONLY BEING MY FRIEND SO THAT I WOULDN'T BECOME THEIR NEXT VILLAIN OF THE FUCKING WEEK?! I DON'T FUCKING CARE! I WAS GIVEN A SECOND CHANCE AT LIFE BY DISCORD, AND IM NOT ABOUT TO LET IT BE THROWN AWAY BY YOU!"
"WHAT?!"
"YOU SAY I WAS KILLED OVER SOMETHING STUPID AND PETTY?! SAYS THE POT CALLING THE KETTLE BLACK! KILLING PEOPLE JUST FOR USING ME IS SOMETHING STUPID AND PETTY TOO!!! SURE, I MIGHT'VE WANTED TO KILL THOSE WHO USED ME, BUT EVERYONE GETS THOUGHTS OF WANTING SOMEONE DEAD WHEN THEY'RE PUSHED OVER THEIR LIMITS!"
"..."
"YOU KNOW WHAT?! EVEN IF A FEW MORE PEOPLE END UP DYING IN THE CROSSFIRE, IT'S WELL WORTH IT TO KILL YOU AS WELL!!! IM GONNA KILL YOU AND FINALLY BE AT EASE WITH MYSELF!!!!"
"... You seem to have chosen your words poorly." The Postal Filly said as she pulled up her M16
"WE'LL SEE WHOSE GOTTEN THE POOR WORD CHOICES WHEN YOU CAN'T SEE ME!" I said before flipping a switch to turn the lights off
"WHAT THE?!" Th Postal Filly went as she fired at random
During the chaos I searched through Sunset until I found her keys for her apartment and eventually managed to slip out and head to the armory myself where I picked up a Silenced Pistol, Revolver, Grenades, Molotovs, Stun Gun, Knife, MP5, Daewoo K3, Lever Action, USA2 12, and M79, all with the appropriate ammo, before hightailing it out of there and ran into the city where I hid out in Sunset's apartment. I managed to catch my breath before finally realizing how late it was and tried to get a good night's sleep. It was rather difficult. It didn't feel right doing this but... I had nowhere else to go... I knew The Postal Filly was no doubt gonna hunt for me, but when she found me would be another story.
A Mad Man in A Filly's Body
I turned to face the draconequis, suffice to say I wasn't exactly happy, and he knew that.
"What took you so damn long to talk to me?! Just what is your freaking excuse!!"
"I... don't have one..."
"That's what I thought. You just lied back wanting to see how your little prank was doing only to just STAY laid back as The Postal Filly went about on her rampages, and you knowing full well that you could've stopped her at any moment, but instead you decided to wait it out like a coward until now it's too late for you to do anything! Your nothing but a spineless worm, you cowered in the corner while everyone else was suffering because of your stupid attempt at a prank and tried to think you'd not suffer any consequences for your so-called joke even if it HAD gone to plan! Well guess what you mixed up mistake, you almost ruined my life with your stunt! You just couldn't help yourself but go back to your old ways for just a one time joke without even thinking of the potential karma and backlash you'd get for even THINKING of doing such a thing! You should know better than this by now!!!"
"I... I..."
"Because of your stupidity, everyone you knew is dead back in Equestria, and now even more victims have been added to the list in this world as well! Only six, SIX, people survived the attack at Crystal Prep! Teachers, students, and staff alike are now dead because of your stupid deal not to mention all those police down at the station, Sunset Shimmer, and many others! The Postal Filly may have come from my mind, but you'll have to live for the rest of your days knowing that it was your own dumbass decision that let this even happen in the first place! You can't do anything to reverse this now Discord, spirit of chaos or not, nobody's EVER gonna forgive you for something like this because nobody will ever forget how this is ALL, YOUR, FAULT!!! You should've just did the right thing from the getgo and just gave me a new chance to live a new life without some kind of a deal anchor you always put on people!!! Why in the hell did you even give me this damn license when I entered the portal anyways!? I can't fucking drive you dumbass!!! What the hell can I even use this for?! To remember how I'm 18?! I KNOW MY AGE YOU STUPID SHIT!!!"
"I... I just figured..."
"FIGURING and KNOWING are two different things!!! I HATE YOU!!!! I HATE YOU TO NO END!!! BECAUSE OF YOU, PEOPLE ARE DYING, AND MY LIFE IS RUINED BECAUSE I CAN'T TELL WHAT MEMORIES ARE REAL AND WHAT'S NOT!!! I HOPE THE POSTAL FILLY KILLS YOU NEXT DISCORD, BECAUSE AFTER ALL THIS, YOU DESERVE DEATH!!! GET OUT OF HERE! I NEVER WANNA SEE YOU AGAIN!!!"
Discord instantly left and I finally calmed down. I looked at my driver's license and put it back in my pants before heading to bed naked. Those words I threw at him weren't exactly kind ones, but they weren't exactly uncalled for either.
A Mad Man in A Filly's Body
It was the next day. A Saturday actually. Nobody was at school today, nor should anyone really try to take that chance after what happened yesterday. But that didn't stop the Postal Filly from making the news again. Zephyr Breeze was found dead last night. What he was doing out late at night is beyond me, but probably had something to do with Rainbow Dash. Speaking of, I hadn't seen any of them since I was arrested that fateful day. I sort of wondered what they had been up to since then and how they were taking the news that had been going on recently. Maybe they've realized just how out of their league The Postal Filly is- Suddenly, there was a knocking at the door. I didn't answer as I rushed to hide under the bed.
"Justin! Open up this door right now!" came Sci-Twi's voice, "We know you're in there!"
I didn't say anything as I tried to remain hidden.
"Okay, if you don't up this door in the next five seconds we're gonna bust it down!" came RD's voice
I quickly rushed to the bathroom and slipped out of my clothes to take a shower, the second I began to do it I heard the door bust down and they began to look for me. But the second they opened the bathroom door-
"HEY-"
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!"
"WHOA! SORRY!!!" Rainbow blushed in embarrassment before closing the door, "Well that explains a lot..." came her muffled voice from the other side
"What do you guys want?!" I asked as I turned off the shower
Thank god they believed I was taking a shower.
"We came ta talk." Applejack said
"Why would I wanna talk to you?! I've got no reason to talk to you bastards who got me sent to jail for no reason!"
"I told you guys she'd hold a grudge for it..." Sci-Twi groaned
"Look, we need to talk to you about the Postal Filly-"
"What's there to talk about?!" I shouted cutting off Rainbow, "She's killing people, I'm the only one who can kill her or for that matter even harm her, and everywhere I go someone close to me dies in some way! It's a never-ending cycle! You guys shouldn't be trying to get involved in this, this doesn't concern you, after all, this is between me, and The Postal Filly, no one else!"
"But darling what are you going to do after all this?"
"I don't know, try to go back to Equestria to live my life again and help them recover from the damage. It's not like as if this whole thing's just gonna be reset like a game of Undertale anyways."
"But we can help you-"
"NO!!! Don't! I told you, you shouldn't be trying to get involved! Everyone who's tried to get close to me ends up dead! Twilight, the school fillies, the Apples, no one's safe from the Postal Filly's wrath! Look, just go home, for now, be safe, lock your doors and windows. Contact me if you run into her, I'll be there as quick as I can to deal with her."
"What are you gonna do then?" Twilight asked
"I'm gonna go out an hunt for her. Alone."
"If that is what you intend to do darling, no one will stop you."
"I created her by pushing away my hate and anger, now I'll bring her down with everything I've got in my arsenal. Even if it means putting my life on the line. But it's well worth it. I couldn't save those the Postal Filly has killed, but that doesn't mean I won't protect others from her."
WAR JOURNAL:
"This world's cleansing has begun. Darkness shall consume the light, and all hope for a better future will be turned into ash. All that remains of the light is the one who holds the shield to protect not just herself, but the worthless lives of everyone around her."
To no one's surprise, my searching today bore no fruit. It's like I thought, if she wanted to be found, she'd make herself known. I decided to call it a day and sleep for the rest of the day and night. When the next day came, once again, no luck in another search attempt. But when I returned I ended up getting a phone call. Carefully I answered and sat down on the couch.
"Hello?"
"Justin Courtny is it?"
"Principal Celestia? What could you possibly want with me?"
"I had heard about everything that's been going on through the Rainbooms. We bumped into each other over at the mall today, and you actually ended up on the news today because a reporter secretly followed you as you searched all over town for The Postal Filly."
"Ugh.... I knew there was a reason I felt like I was being followed. Well, what does this have to do with you calling me for?"
"I... want your help."
"My... help? For what?"
"As you probably already know, tomorrow's gonna be a day off for everyone by order of the board of education to protect the students from any further harm from the Postal Filly, like as if that'll do any good, but the next day after that they're gonna attempt to have school. This is where my call comes in. The school board asked me to call you since they figured you'd just chew their ears out until all of them were deaf, and ask if you could come to protect the students since they figure CHS would be the next target of attack."
"Don't say anything else. I'll be there."
"R-really?"
"I know for certain The Postal Filly's gonna try to attack CHS. It's loaded with familiar faces from Equestria. No doubt she's gonna do whatever is in her power to make sure BOTH versions are dead."
"I... see..."
"Don't you worry, I'll be there. CHS is gonna be where this ends one way or another. I apologize in advance if any of the students die Celestia, but even I can't save everyone."
"I understand."
"I've said this a million times already to different people, but this time I really mean it. The Postal Filly's gonna die this time for sure. I can't undo the damage she's already done, but I can make sure she doesn't cause any further harm. I'll see you at school."
I hung up and gave a sigh before looking at the calendar. Had this been Equestria, it would've been my 29th day there. Shy of two more days for it to be a whole month since I arrived. The next day was spent on me preparing all my weapons and gear for the fight of my life the next day. It was either BOTH OF US or HER in this final fight. I wasn't going to settle for defeat this time around. This is where my journal ends. This was a record of everything that has lead up to this point. From my messed up memories to now. If you find this, then you know what's happened to me. I don't know if I'll live to tell the tale of what happened in what I hope to be mine and The Postal Filly's last encounter, but it's as I said. It's HER or the BOTH of us.
Justin Courtny finished writing her last entry as she waited on the front entrance stairs for the bell, weapons in hand. As soon as the bell rang, she pulled out her Colt Python Revolver and loaded it up.
"Low on ammo, but I know it'll get the job I have in store for it done." she said to herself as she headed inside
The final battle was about to commence.
A Mad Man in A Filly's Body
Day 31 - The End Part 2: Taking It All Back
When I woke up I found myself in what looked to be Discord's Dimension. All I could do was sigh.
"Figures this is what my hell would be."
"Not hell."
I then looked to see Discord behind me.
"Discord... I'm sorry for going off the handle like that at you. I was just..."
"There's no need to apologize. I deserved it. I thought what I was doing would be just a harmless prank but I didn't think ahead and now everything's like it is."
"So that's it huh. I'm dead."
"No. The Postal Filly is."
"What."
"You're still alive."
"What?! But that's impossible! I fucking obliterated myself!"
"Look at your hand."
I gave him a "Whatchu talkin bout asshole" look before looking and seeing my tattoo glowing.
"What the?! What the hell's going on?! What did you do to my tattoo?!"
"I didn't do anything."
"Excuse me..."
"That was from the bond you had with your friend."
"... You... you have to be joking... Th... There's no way that was because of my bond with Katie."
"Justin... how much of a friendship did you two have?"
"Well... a... pretty on off one..."
"Did you happen to... get any sort of feelings for her during that time?"
I then realized what he meant. Looking back... he was right. There was just no use in denying it.
"Come to think of it... yeah... I... sort of did have OTHER feelings towards her."
"You were planning on confessing them after graduation weren't you?"
"......."
"Well?"
"Yeah..... I was. Then that princess bitch went and killed me before I could even have a chance."
"That added to all your building anger and hate didn't it."
"I was so mad." I growled, "She took EVERYTHING from me on that day! I just wanted to go fucking postal!"
"And that hate is what gave birth to the creature that became The Postal Filly."
"But what does this have to do with my love for Katie causing my Tattoo to freak out like that?!"
"Haven't you learned anything over the course of this drug trip called an adventure?"
"Honestly I was too busy wondering how much crack the writer was smoking as he clearly made this shit up as he went along."
"Emotions can make all sorts of things happen, they're what drive us to do the things we do. You said you had no regrets when you pulled the pin, but in reality, you did didn't you? You regretted never getting the chance to tell Katie what you really thought of her."
"...yeah..."
"That combined with your desire to protect others from that dangerous girl gave off a chain reaction. You may not know it, but you're lucky you turned out the way you did when you went through the portal. Those cosmetic changes, as well as you going through the portal, changed your DNA structure to be infused with Equestrian Magic from those dyes."
"Why does this not surprise me..."
"Those emotions, combined with your new Equestrian Magic sparred your life."
"You could've just said those dyes, portal freaking out, and the tattoo was Checkov's guns' and I would've gotten ya." I groaned, "So now what? I'm stuck here?"
"No. I think I can actually fix all this."
"What. How?"
"Uh hellooo anybody home?" Discord went as he knocked on my head, "God of Chaos and Disharmony remember? Now watch and-"
"HOLD IT!!!" I shouted
"Hmm?"
"No. You can't. Not yet."
"Huh? Why not?"
"I wanna make a deal."
"I would be shocked, but I'm actually intrigued."
"Those who died... in fact everyone involved in this... they don't deserve to remember all that's happened here... everyone but me. The blood's on my hands. This is all my fault. I should take responsibility for my actions. I know all those murders were done by the Postal Filly, but she came from MY head. MY mind. I'm the only one who should be forced to remember all those atrocities. In fact... when you reset everything, put me into the Human world where Sunset is. Erase my footprint from Equestria. I don't need to go back there after everything I've done. I wanna try to live my life again in the human world. Where I belong."
"You do realize when this deal is made Justin your name and everything about you will be changed right?"
"That's a risk I'll take. What do you say Mixed up Mistake?" I asked putting a hand out to shake
"You've got yourself a deal, Mary Sue." Discord said shaking it
"....afterward, Discord did as he said. No one remembers the events ever happening. Only I do. No one in Equstria probably remembers me either. It's probably for the best anyways. When I woke up I looked like how I did when I arrived in the human world, only my tattoo was no longer on my hand or body for that matter, but on the top right of my shirt. There was a journal next to me completely blank except for who it said it belonged to on the front cover 'Justice Shield'. Sunset had found me wandering around town and took me in as her roommate. She even enroled me into CHS since I didn't have a school degree on me as much as I secretly hated it. Outside of Sunset, I've yet to make some friends there, but I know I'm gonna make some eventually. You can't avoid friendship in a school that promotes it after all. What'll happen to me now? I'm not certain. But for some reason whenever I look into a mirror, I swear I can see The Postal Filly look back at me and laugh, almost like as if she's waiting for her chance to try and take me over once again."
I then took a sip of some soda before continuing to write in my journal.
"But I hope to god that's just my PTSD acting up. For now? This is another chapter of my life finished. This is Justin Courtny... no... Justice Shield and this has been another chapter in my ongoing struggle to survive."
I closed the book and put it back into my backpack. Aroud this time the bell for first period rang and I headed on to my classes, but not before taking a stop to the bathroom to wash up. Splashing some water on my face I dried up and looked in the mirror. Nothing. Maybe those were just hallucinations after all. But... as I left I thought I heard a laugh that sounded ALL too familiar.
Hehehe hahahahahahaaaaa!
THE END
A Mad Man in A Filly's Body
It was the next day when I woke up. I was lucky The Postal Filly didn't know where Sunset's place was, but that also meant she could've been on another murder rampage as well. I quickly showered and turned on the TV to the news to see if my fear had been realized as I sipped on some milk... only to gag and sputter as I quickly spat it out into the trash.
"UGhhhh!!! God damn it! Groooss! What is this expired?!" I stuttered before looking at the box
I immediately regreated it and my eyes went wide as I read what the milk was. Jihad Goat Milk. I immediately ran to the bathroom and puked my guts out before returning to the living room. That was when I heard it...
"...CHS Student Wallflower Blush, former CHS Students Bab Seed and Sunflower, former Crystal Prep principal Cinch, and Juniper Montage, an employee at the Canterlot Mall Theater, were found dead recently in their homes from bullet wounds with Wallflower's, Babs as well as her sister Sunflower's, and Juniper's parents each dead from stab wounds. Many suspect this has a connection to the attack yesterday at the police station where many of the force including Captain Shining Armor, husband to Crystal Prep Principal Cadence and father of their firstborn child Flurry Heart, Kurt Marshall father of Canterlot High students Flash Sentry and First Base respectively, as well as a visitor to the prison probably to see someone she knew CHS student Sunset Shimmer. This recovered video footage shows that Sunset Shimmer had somehow set one of the prisoners free, but was killed by, who the prisoner in the footage as well as the press have been calling, The Postal Filly. But connection or not, it's hard to call it a coincidence. Whoever this Postal Filly is, is currently unknown as is the reason for why she's doing what she's doing. The police are doing everything in their power to make sure the Postal Filly is caught and properly brought to justice."
"Yeah well, all they're gonna do is just get themselves killed." I groaned
"Hold everything! This just came in! Crystal Prep is being attacked!"
I then gasped and quickly began to grab all the weapons I took from the armory and loaded them accordingly.
"We now bring you live to-"
I turned the T.V off and headed out the door with my weapons in tow in bags of all kinds and ammo loaded into a backpack.
I ran as fast as I could to the sight and saw explosions and fire coming from within the building. Noticing an unsecured spot within the barricade I managed to slip past all the chaos and pulled out my Lever Action Shotgun as I entered the building. Instantly my gag reflex began to act up as I saw the bodies that lied before me. Many were faces I recognized. Fleur de Lis, Upper Crust, Jet Set, Rising Star/Neon Lights, Royal Pin/Pokey Pierce, Trenderhoof, hell even their coach who the fans affectionately named Coach Rommel.
I heard the sounds of screaming and ran upstairs, but as I went up the more bodies I saw until I eventually reached the source of the scream and saw The Postal Filly over two bodies, the corpse of Sunny Flare, and the helpless form of Indigo Zapp as she tried to grasp onto what life she had left. Across from them, trapped like rats against a wall was Principal Cadence, Sugarcoat, Sour Sweet, and Lemon Zest scared out of their minds.
"Bleed."
BANG! Indigo Zapp's head exploded from the power of The Postal Filly's SPAS-12. She then looked at the trapped Shadowbolts and pulled out her M16A2/3 before giving her toothy grin and laughing.
"Only my weapon understands me."
"GET THE FUCK DOWN!"
BANG! The Postal Filly fell to the floor as the Shadowbolts looked on in surprise at me.
"GO, QUICKLY!"
They didn't question my order as the four quickly rushed passed me and eventually out of sight. By that time The Postal Filly was halfway done getting up and when she did she looked at me with absolute rage in her eyes as I pulled out the Colt Python Revolver.
"Miss me?" I joked
"You just HAD to get yourself involved, didn't you! You could've kept yourself hidden like the spineless worm you are, but instead, here you are armed to the teeth! I'm not gonna be nice this time! I WILL kill you this time!!!"
"We'll see about that." I said as I took aim
The second she reached for her M16A2/3 as it lied on the ground I fired without hesitation as she reeled back in pain.
"WHAT?! HOW!!!"
"The only one who can defeat their own shadow is themselves." I stated
She then let out a howl/scream unlike any other I've ever heard of and then tackled me to the floor wrestling away my revolver. She tried to strangle me but ended up getting tossed off much to her surprise as I quickly rolled over to the revolver and put it away as I pulled out the grenades and kicked a few her way. Of course, she managed to dodge most of them, but not all of them as the one that hit her caused an explosion that also exploded the others that missed her. What resulted was her falling down to the lower levels and screaming in pain before running away. I couldn't let her get to her M16A2/3, no matter what, so I took it with me and made it across the corner, only to end up accidentally dropping the M16A2/3 in question as I jumped out of a nearby window to the front of the school just in time to avoid the huge explosion. Why? The Postal Filly had pulled out her rocket launcher on me. I cursed her under my breath for it as I struggled to get up due to the amount of pain I was in, but quickly had to get up and run as she began to toss Molotov Cocktails at me from the hole in the building. She stopped for a second, however, because she was being attacked by the police and S.W.A.T forces. Much to my annoyance but to her amusement.
"C-Captain! Our weapons aren't doing anything!"
The Postal Filly then pulled out her rocket launcher and attacked the policemen and S.W.A.T blowing them up as well as a nearby helicopter, but before she could even admire her work I pulled out the M79 and fired a round that, once exploded, sent her down to the same level as I was. I made it clear what I was there to do and she knew it all too well. In a quick session, she pulled out a flamethrower and began attacking me with little success as I managed to find cover back inside the building by jumping through a window. At that point, I made a break for it and began running to the back of the school to make a better standoff at. Though it didn't take a genius to hear the explosions going off from the classroom I left to know The Postal Filly had tossed grenades in hoping to kill me. At that point, I had to go around a corner and pull the taser out. But at that same time, the lights began to flicker before finally going out, startling me. I slowed my breathing and listened.........
thump, thump
Those were her footsteps.
"Hide and seek eh? Hehehe...."
........
"If you go out in the woods today you're sure of a big surprise..."
.......
"If you go out in the woods today, you better go in disguise..."
.......
"Cause every bear that ever there was, was gathered there together because..."
.......
"Today's the day the teddy bears have their... piiiic-"
Deep breath
"NICK!!!"
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" I screamed as she showed her face right in front of me with a lighter
I dropped the stun gun out of fear and began struggling with Postal Filly as the lights finally came back on and she tried to kill me with her own knife. But, no surprise, she managed to get me down to the ground and slowly began to push the knife towards my neck due to me put up a fight to keep it away. With one hand I reached for the Stun Gun as I could see my death slowly approaching my heart. It didn't help The Postal Filly was going "Shhh" as she did it to try and "sooth" me. But just as I felt the tip of the knife hit my skin, The Postal Filly was going nuts as I had zapped her with the Stun Gun. I pushed her off and ran away, eventually reaching the track, but when I did, all I could do was place a hand on my chest and almost cried. But I didn't have time to do that. I quickly noticed what looked to be a crossbow from an archery set and picked it up, loading a round into it before hearing an explosion and turning to see The Postal Filly with her rocket launcher out. When she noticed my crossbow, she simply laughed.
"A crossbow? A CROSSBOW?! You've gotta be joking!" she laughed before going into a laughing fit
But her laughs turned into wheezes as she quickly felt an arrow pierce her stomach. She looked at me as I loaded another arrow, this time with the intent to kill.
"YOU WIN THIS ROUND, BUT I'LL BE BACK FOR THE FINAL ROUND!!!" the Postal Filly screamed before throwing a grenade as a distraction
I quickly ducked for cover as it exploded. When the dust cleared The Postal Filly was nowhere to be seen. I carefully looked around to make sure she wasn't going to try a sneak attack, but to my relief and fear, she wasn't. She had escaped. To where? I'm not sure. For now, though, I made my own exit from the building towards Sunset's apartment room. It was there I stayed for the remainder of the day, I just couldn't handle speaking to anyone else at the moment. Later on the nightly news, the death toll came in for Crystal Prep. Many teachers and students died as a result of The Postal Filly's attacks and anyone who wasn't immediately killed died of blood loss or were wounded so badly that they either died on the way to the hospital, arrived at the hospital, or died overnight. Only around six had lived to tell the tale. Cadence, Sugarcoat, Sour Sweet, and Lemon Zest unsurprisingly being within the group. Those four spoke of how I came to rescue them just in time, and all I could think was that I was just doing the right thing. I didn't need this publicity nor did I even want this publicity they were giving me.
Anyone else would be going bonkers over the publicity they were given, good or bad, just because they think they were finally put into the etches of history only to find it being a case of 15 minutes of fame syndrome. I honestly hoped that this wouldn't put people on my trail after today, the last thing I need is people asking me questions where they really shouldn't. They then went on to talk about how it should've been impossible for only me to do harm to it while everything they were throwing at it did nothing and logically should've killed her a million times over. They talked about theories of it being from another world, theories of it being a creature from hell, theories of it being a vengeful spirit, all that conspiracy theory bullshit. One theory they immediately dismissed was that it was my shadow and a manifestation of all my evil. They seriously couldn't have been any closer to the truth with that one. Eventually, they ended the broadcast by telling the viewers to lock their doors, windows, and keep a weapon with them near their bed. Pfft. As if that would do any good against a living shadow. I turned off the TV and had a shower. Afterward, I contemplated whether or not to go to bed naked this time since I usually did when I had a night shower to make sure I was dry come morning, more so this was really my internal excuse to finally get a better look at my own body in a nearby mirror.
This body... it should belong to EG Apple Bloom but... certain proportions made it say otherwise like my breasts. Apple Bloom didn't exactly have a pair to speak of, then again for that matter neither did any female in the Equestria Girls world unless your the Principals, Cheerilee, and Adagio, but I'm fairly certain a D cup on this body doesn't look healthy. Actually... come to think of it, shouldn't I have come out of the portal AS Apple Bloom? I did arrive here as her and the hair and fur colors were dyed but my current eye color was just from contact lenses... oh dear god I'm getting a headache trying to wrap my head around how that stupid portal works. I took a look into my jeans and noticed something odd... a drivers license.
"What? But... I don't drive." I said to myself, "Do I? Augh... Fucking Postal Filly messing with my memories... Let's see here... Justin Courtny, Age 18. T-this doesn't make any sense. I never got a drivers license, why is this in my pocket?!"
"I put it there."
"So... you finally got the spine to talk to me again..... Discord."
A Mad Man in A Filly's Body
Day 31 - The End Part 1: The Final Battle
As I patrolled the halls keeping an eye out for anything suspicious, going from classroom to classroom as well to make sure no corner of the school was left unchecked, everything looked to be going fine. That was, until I heard students screaming. I quickly rushed towards the source and was passed by many students running away screaming, and I quickly found out why. Comming out of a classroom Photo Finish was begging for her life only to be blasted from The Postal Filly's M16A2/3. I quickly rushed to the door and saw the bodies of who was killed. Pixel Pizzaz, Violet Blurr... they're glad they didn't live to see their friend Photo Finish die right in front of them. Bulk Biceps.... damn.... Cranky Doodle..... Fido, Rover, and Spot... Oh... oh no... Blueberry Pie... Raspberry Fluff... they were Muffins's friends.... Then, I saw the monster herself turn to look at me and she looked as crazy as ever.
"It's all come down to this, hasn't it?"
"It's either you, or the both of us."
"Don't make promises you can't keep Mary Sue."
"I ain't settling for defeat, there's only gonna be one outcome and that's either you die, or the both of us dies."
"Bla, Bla, Bla- EAT LEAD!"
I quickly dodged out of the way of her attack in time and tossed a grenade into the classroom. She managed to escape just in time as well so when it exploded the sound of guts and fat hitting the walls could be heard. I quickly ran away from her in time to puke my guts out in the foyer.
"Aww man, I STILL can't get used to this!" I went before pulling out the revolver and attacking as I heard The Postal Filly's footsteps
What resulted was a shootout between the two of us as she fired at me from her end of the hallway and I used a locker door as a shield to fire back. But.... that didn't last too long.
"WHAT?! FUCKING FUCK! OUT OF AMMO!" I shouted as I threw the revolver at The Postal Filly hitting her square in the head
I then pulled out the MP5.... but it resulted in the same thing.
"FOR FUCK'S SAKE!!!" I shouted as I threw the Submachine Gun at The Postal Filly hitting her square in the vajay jay
I then pulled out the Lever Action Shotgun- you know where this was headed.
"ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?!" I shouted as I threw the Submachine Gun at The Postal Filly hitting her square in the leg
But I quickly smirked as I heard The Postal Filly being frustrated.
"WHAT?! YOU'VE GOTTA BE JOKING! I HAD TONS OF AMMO FOR THIS DAMN GUN!!!" she shouted before tossing it towards me and hitting the locker door causing a chain reaction as it swung and hit me in the head
She then pulled out her rocket launcher, and just as I braced for impact.... nothing happened.
"IS THIS SOME KIND OF A JOKE?! RAAAAUUUGHHH!!!"
I quickly moved out of the way as she tossed it my way and took the door off its hinges and taking out her SPAS-12. I then retaliated by pulling out my USAS-12.
"SPAS vs USAS. Who'll come out victorious."
We braced for impact as we pulled the triggers..... nothing.
"YOU'VE GOTTA BE SHITTING ME!!!" we both shouted before tossing our weapons at each other and hitting each other in the stomach
The Postal Filly then pulled out her D.Eagle and smirked.
"This is ONE weapon I KNOW I have plenty of ammo left."
"Didn't anybody ever tell you not to bring a pistol to a machine gun fight?"
I then pulled out the Daewoo K3 and her eyes went wide as her jaw dropped.
"Well played hooker. Well played." she said before running away
Or rather attempted to. I unloaded everything as I held it no caring how much I missed but didn't stop for a single second as a bullet hit The Postal Filly on the leg and sent her to the ground. Even then I kept unloading my ammo. It was like as if something was compelling me to just.... go postal...... so to speak. And I knew why. It was MY fault for letting my feelings get bottled up like that. It was MY fault for letting them fester until they gave birth to this.... thing I was fighting. All of this was MY fault. My explosion at Discord... once again another case of me harboring up my emotions until I just had to explode, and Discord was the unfortunate bastard to feel my wrath. The blood's not on his hands, they were on MINE and MINE alone. All of this is my responsibility, and now it's my responsibility to stop the bleeding no matter the cost. Even if it means my own life was to be put on the line. But my train of thought was stopped as my Daewoo K3 had run out of ammo and The Postal Filly was starting to get up.
"WHY WON'T YOU JUST DIE?!!" I screamed as I tossed the Daewoo K3 aside and pulled out the M79 only for it to be out of ammo as well, "IS THIS WRITER SMOKING CRACK OR SOMETHING?!" I shouted tossing it aside and pulling out a Molotov
I was about to light it and toss it when I got hit by a bullet from The Postal Filly's D.Eagle. I couldn't even react to it quick enough it was so fast. The bullet hit me right in the stomach making me fall to the ground hard as I started spewing blood.
"Hehehe. You lost Justin. When are you going to learn when you've been outmatched? You don't have any combat skills, you don't have a strategy, the only strategy you've got against me is to just blast at me until I don't stand. Nothing can kill me! When are you going to learn that?!"
She then put the gun against my head and smirked.
"Any last words? Tell us all your regrets. Like how you made a promise you couldn't keep."
I then secretly pulled out a grenade, kicked her in the vagina making her wince as I wrestled the gun away, held her down, and put the grenade in her mouth. She was panicking as I wouldn't let her go and had my finger in the pin. To my surprise as well, my tattoo on my hand was glowing as well covering my body as well as The Postal Filly and the grenade, but I didn't have time to wonder why I had to end this now! I pulled the pin and the glow got brighter.
"I regret nothing."
BOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!!
A Mad Man in A Filly's Body
As you may have noticed, a lot of this fic was a pretty jumbled mess. This was a bit of a thought exercise on my part of going back to my old writing style for one more fic. That being me just winging it and making things up as I went.
Nowadays I plan my fics out, what characters I'm using, the rules, etc. As you can clearly see, going in with just making things up as I went didn't work. Next time I upload one here, if there even IS a next time because I mostly post on DeviantART nowadays, I'll plan it before I continue as it's better to get a rough draft written down of what you want to do and the rules instead of just winging it and hoping for the best as you're left creativly bankrupt by the end of the fic.
Will I do a sequel? Maybe, maybe not. I have thought of calling it - Postal: Two Halves of the Spectrum, but as of now, no plans because I wanna go back to DeviantART and continue working on my Sequel fic to Sonic's Last Stand, The Silent War, as it's been left in the wringer for a while and I don't wanna forget about it.
For now, this is ace_attorneyfan800 signing out.
