Chapters Deadpool was stunned at the fact he was losing at his own video game , one Capcom had just made him, also Wolverine was tellling him about a portal to another dimension or something.
"So wait and let me catch up ? You want me to go into the thingy that will happen when Vergil's gate thingy gets shot by Strange's magic thingy?" Deadpool asked, just starting to pay attention.
Wolverine just sighed and said,
"Listen, Vergil's sword will open the hellgate which Doctor Strange will then use his knowledge of the mystic arts to manipulate it into a portal to the source of the chaotic entity long enough for ONE of us to make it in alive ."
Deadpool just stared for a second before finally responding "And why me?".
Wolverine looked him in the eye and said.
"Because if an idiot like you can survive whatever the hell is on the other side , than so can we."
Deadpool shrugged and said.
"Your just jealous of Marvel making me a more likeable character ", to which Everyone replied " Who?".
Suddenly a muscular man dressed in military clothes by the name of Chris Redfield walked up to Deadpool and sternly said
"Listen Deadpool, when you get there, no showing off, no dramatic entrances, no random singing, no quoting famous people, no partying, just get the mission done.",
Everyone nodded but Deadpool simply said " You are no fun, you know that. "
Suddenly Vergil said "It is time." in his normal calm collected fashion.
Strange nodded and Vergil walked over to a large stone monolith , that set a humongous shadow making everyone feel rather ... uncomfortable, Vergil simply stabbed the large rock and thrust his sword upward creating a large portal which Strange then sent a bolt of light at.
As the portal changed everyone expected a horrible terrifying image, as they all looked forward they saw the terrible, horrid ...ponies?
Deadpool seemed rather unfazed, as though he had expected it, in fact he looked like he was anticipating it .
As Deadpool jumped through the portal, he bravely yelled
" I AM GOING TO DO EVERYTHING YOU TOLD ME NOT TO,AND YOU ARE STILL NO FUN!" as a gesture to his fellow heroes, to a'sure them he would succeed at any cost.
Applebloom was still mad at herself , she let Discord out and never gave him a piece of her mind , she could've easily beat that big dumb meanie, but no, Applejack fixed her mistake.
So why does she feel like she is about to get what she always wanted, what could be so great about the Everfree forest, why does it feel like she could give anything and I mean ANYTHING up right now just to give that piece to Discord, -zoom- she saw a strange red whisp of smoke, -ssss-. As it took form into something truly horrifying , a devil, a creature that knows nothing of good , but could give her what she wanted.
"Greetings", it said, in a voice that sent cold shivers down her throat , a raspy voice with the sound of tormented souls in the background as soon as it opened its mouth , it continued seeming proud of her fear
"I am Mephisto", Mephisto, spirit of tormented souls and all things unholy.
Applebloom remembered learning about him in Equestrian Mythology and how he tricked Discord into becoming so chaotic in the first place, but she still had the urge to ask him.
Suddenly she heard Zecora's voice yelling out to her.
"Do not do it young Applebloom , for such a monster spells your doom, if you make an evil deal , it is your fate that he will seal!"
With anger Mephisto merely put a transdimensional field around him and Applebloom. She had to decide between Zecora and Mephisto, one was her friend, but the other could give her whatever she wanted. She remembered the "Cutie pox" incident and remembered how she got what she wanted and how terrible it turned out. So why was she so tempted to take the deal?
"So what will it be youthful one?" said Mephisto, slightly irritated as though his time was being wasted.
Applebloom gulped ,stood up and said "Whats the catch?".
Mephisto replied "Simple in order to give Discord a piece of your mind , you have to give him a piece of everyone in Ponyvilles. he will be a second voice in their heads able to manipulate ponies into everything from arguing to ", the demon paused and let a chuckle escape "murder."
Applebloom shouted with anger
"THE PONIES OF PONYVILLE WOULD NEVER COMMIT MURDER, THEY ARE GOOD NATURED CARING CREATURES UNLIKE DISCORD AND THEY WOULDN'T LISTEN TO HIM!!!". Mephisto merely smirked at this
"Well if you want me to leave then". She quickly responded
" NO WAIT!".
"You have wasted enough of my time, choose now, or choose never, it is your choice to make and my deal to offer, if you do not wish Discord to know how much suffering and pain he caused than that is your problem,not mine." Mephisto said.
Applebloom sighed," You win, now let me tell Discord who is boss!".
Mephisto let out a laugh at this,
"Pretty soon he will be."
A mental vision of Discord then appeared next to him
"Won't I", Discord smirked.
"Stupid fan fiction writer." ,Deadpool grumbled as he jumped from building to building over the empty streets of Ponyville in the middle of the night, he was frustrated that he hadn't found the chance to make the dramatic entrance , but that was about to change , change via epic battle. He saw a purple unicorn with a baby dragon taking a note, both seemingly in a depressed mood.
The unicorn was telling the dragon to write the following down.
"Dear Princess Celestia ,
When a pony makes fun of another , bad things end up happening, and nopony should react by means of murder, but such was the case with Lyra and Bon Bon, it is strange and doesn't make sense, Bon Bon never made fun of how Lyra acted and sat before, so why now , and why would Lyra even go that far as to murdering somepony. Is this the work of the Mephisto demon you told me about?
Your Faithful Student,
Twilight Sparkle "
Deadpool was shocked at this revelation.Was it THAT Mephisto?
"It has to be that mother ****er.", he said aloud, maybe too loud, Twilight turned around.
"Who is there!?" She yelled before a smoke grenade landed at her feet.
"Your worst nightmare.", He quoted Rambo 3 coming through the smoke with his katanas out and ready for battle, mainly because he saw it as his chance for a dramatic entrance.
Twilight responded angrily ,"We'll see about that!" using her unicorn magic to clear the smoke,after it cleared she barely dodged the katana that lunged at her face countering the attack with her horn. The young dragon merely kept yelling out five names.
Deadpool was blocking stabs and reflecting magic with his swords, the battle seemed to be waking up the locals. He had managed to knock the purple unicorn down,violently slamming his boot onto her stomach to hold her in that position and was about to deliver the finishing blow before he was hit in the face by a .... piece of cake?
He wiped the pastry off of his face and said "Birthday cake? 3 words b*tch, Key, lime, pie." He looked up and saw a pink earth pony, who looked rather angry with him.
"My name is Pinkie Pie and you do not hurt my friends!" , Pinkie pie yelled before throwing 3 more cakes at him. He quickly responded by yelling.
"Time to waste ammo and food!" before pulling out his guns and blowing each one up, then he swiftly ran up and kicked Pinkie pie in the jaw as she yelled.
"Stupid fan fiction writer!".
Deadpool yawned.
" Come on, cake and magic are cool , but give me a challenge!", as soon as he said this he felt something kick his back,hard, practically breaking it.
"That aughta take care of him." said an orange pony with a cowboy hat and a triumphant look on her face , of course due to his healing factor, he got right back up and punched his opponent square in the face.
Deadpool laughed at the failed assassination and said
"Remember you can't spell assassin without sin, AND TWICE THE ASS!".
Now the ponies got mad ,the orange one threw a lasso, the purple one tried to shoot him with a magic ray , and the Pink one had what looked like a ...... pogostick flamethrower hybrid , all 3 fired at him but he just jumped and counter fired,
but while in mid air, a bue pegasus with a rainbow mane rammed him from behind.
"Hey, its not cool to fight and not include me!",it yelled. It turned for another charge, but this time Deadpool was ready, as it lunged at him he held out his katana and injured her leg.
"Rainbow Dash!" came a rather fancy sounding voice.
Deadpool landed on the ground ,but as soon as he did a floating carpet came along and wrapped around him, squeezing him like a constrictor ,and then he heard a rather soft shy voice say in a stern tone.
"Noone hurts my friends." before seeing a huge bear run up, he pulled out a knife and cut free of the carpet before jumping into the air and loading a clip of bullets into the creature.
He saw the ponies were joined by two more, a yellow Pegasus with a pink mane , and a white unicorn with a purple mane.
He stood there in awe at how they were able to keep up the fight before he simply calmed down and said, "Oh look its the Power rangers."
Insanity vs Chaos, A battle of the mind
Hey guys, unlike the previous chapters that were a little on the unpolished side , this one will have better spelling and grammar hopefully, I followed Insert Clever Names Advice
"Power What?", Twilight asked as she tried to decipher the comment Deadpool just made.
"Power Rangers.", Pinkie Pie corrected Twilight, "Its on Channel 181, exactly 2 channels above The HUB" .
Twilight got focused back on the matter at hand, "You may be able to break bones, but you can't break up our friendship!".
Deadpool just shrugged at this comment and said "Why are you being so cheesy?" following it up with another question "Can an explosion break your friendship?".
The ponies then all noticed the grenade at there hooves and Rainbow Dash grumbled "Son of a ....."
"PINEAPPLE SURPRISE" Deadpool interrupted her.
The battle was over, Deadpool had won. The ponies were dead, no way to confirm the kill, but no way anyone could have survived it. Deadpool felt he had killed a civilian, and was ashamed for this act , but he kept trying to reassure himself those weren't civilians. Strangely it seemed as though all civilian horses had evacuated.
"Man you made glue out of those dumb horses!", A strange voice laughed behind him. The voice sounded more crazed than Deadpool himself.
"Allow me to introduce myself." it said as a form began to appear in front of him. "I am Discord, I am what created you." Discord said as though proud of some kind of artwork.
Deadpool just stood there a second before saying "No you didn't the MARVEL Comic Book Writers did. Unless....DADDY!!", He yelled this as he ran up and hugged Discord, whom pushed him off.
"No you fool , I'm what made you what you are today , I'm CHAOS! CHAOS which drove you to insanity! CHAOS which was the reason you got the cancer, Chaos which is why you are such a good mercenary! GOT IT!"
Yet again Deadpool just stood there before proudly saying "I always knew my dad would be pleased at my mercenary work.".Of course Discord reacted to this by slapping him.
"Listen kid I am not your dad, I am just what made you what you are today." Discord looked him in the eye, now twitching with anger.
Deadpool then cluelessy asked "Then why are you here?".
Discord was now yelling with fury "I WAS ABOUT TO GET TO- YOU KNOW WHAT, NO YOU ARE IMPOSSIBLE!". With that he teleported far away from Deadpool.
--
Meanwhile in Canterlot Castle.
“What happened?”, said Twilight, struggling to remember everything before the flash of light that had hit her, then all of the sudden it came back to her.
“WHERE IS HE!?” she heard Fluttershy yell louder than she had at the Gala from the other room, normally she would be surprised at this but after the events of that battle, it seemed perfectly normal, they had just gotten practically destroyed, their friendship had been made a mockery of, and worst of all, it was done because they let their guard down, otherwise they could have easily known about the explosives.
“He was just trained in what you were not my student.”, said a familiar voice.
“Princess Celestia!”, Twilight said, afraid that she was unworthy of being in Celestia’s presence.
“Wait how do you know about the battle?” Twilight paused for a second trying to comprehend this.
Celestia giggled “My student I am the sun’s spirit, whatever it sees, I see.” she stopped laughing right after that sentence. “The town practically evacuated itself seeing the madness, after that was done, I was safe to teleport you here.”
The rest of the Mane 6 walked in, Rarity was the first to speak, “What was that, and why did he have such terrible taste in fashion, I mean red and black?!”
Of course the others ignored the second question before Celestia gave an answer to the first.
“He was a human, a creature that hasn’t been in Equestria for thousands of years and counting.” ,Celestia said, as though she was angry. “The original went by the name of Michelle or as you know her, Celestia.”
Of course the ponies were stunned by this answer, an awkward silence came across them. An awkward silence that Fluttershy broke.
“Is there a story, your..um..majesty?” Fluttershy asked in her usual kind nature. (still getting over the Iron Will incident) Celestia simply replied with the truth. “ I was young and foolish back then, a 16 year old girl, I found Equestria after my parents had died, and I was sent from Ireland to Camelot.”
Pinkie Pie interrupted, “Ooh this is like that story by C.S. Lew-.” Rainbow Dash swiftly put a hoof in her mouth.
“Anyway I had journeyed into a cellar in the basement, in the back of the cellar,there was a door.”, Celestia continued, “Behind that door was a field. This field would later become my quiet place for thinking. One day, I took my boyfriend Joshua and my sister Mary. I am sure you are aware of who they became. One day when I was seventeen, Mephisto finally had shown himself, giving us the deal to become gods, which we foolishly took, turning me and Mary into horses and Joshua into a draconequus. Later, after I had used my powers to establish inhabitants of the land, Mephisto showed up again, and fooled Joshua a second time, with promise of more power, this power, unbeknown st to Joshua, was corrupted. Mephisto then decided to keep showing up until we used the Elements of Harmony on Discord, then he had seen we had found the power to defeat him.”
“So we can beat Mephisto?” asked Twilight.
“Not without the human” Celestia replied, putting a look of denial on the other ponies faces
Author notes: Ok so i have notices alot of ponies tracking this, but what I value more than being tracked is a comment, so please try to leave those more often, as comments tell me where I need to improve in certain categories or if someone is getting out of character,my main goal being quality, I feel critique is important to the fic.
Authors note : Apparently the chapters are short, this was the feedback currently, this might take a while but for the sake of quality, the chapter shall be written longer, and more descriptive, because quality is heart of this fiction
--
Twilight couldn't believe her ears, Celestia wanted her to work with that thing, that thing that had her at his mercy, that thing that seemed to have no mercy.
Applejack quickly chimed in " Are y'all sure the elements can't just defeat him?"
Celestia only sighed " I wish they could, young one, but like Discord, Mephisto feeds off chaos,despair and greed, and he has been living in the human world, where it happens far too often for him to not have grown strong enough to resist the elements power. Mephisto feels the need to bring that from the human world, Equestria, and the brute force that the human used may be one of our greatest hopes against him."
“Wait, so you want us to fight chaos with chaos, thus creating a chaotic paradox of chaosness in the chaos zone sending us back into ancient chaotic Equestria of chaos?”, Pinkie Pie asked, confusing everyone in the room.
Finally, when Celestia found out what Pinkie Pie had said she had gracefully shook her head no “Pinkie Pie, your imagination never ceases to amaze me, but no. Fighting is not chaos depending on what the human is fighting for, if ones intentions are good of heart than perhaps, he could help us save Equestria. Look at it like this, Chaos is fire, Harmony is water. The best way to fight fire is with water, but when the water evaporates, you must fight fire with fire.”
Rainbow Dash was desperate for an excuse to not work with the one who slashed her leg “Then why can’t we fight Mephisto ourselves.”
Celestia was gentle and calm with the response, as if trying to lay down bad news. “Because Mephisto is too powerful, from what I saw of that battle, that is no ordinary human, and he can heal from extraordinary injuries.”
The Mane 6 were now confused from the “extraordinary” part, what special ability would one have that the chosen ones of the Elements of Harmony wouldn’t.Fluttershy was the first to ask, she was shivering at the very thought that Mephisto could beat the Elements of Harmony.
“What is the extraordinary part?” she asked Celestia , with a terrified look in her eyes.
“Remember when AppleJack broke his back? He simply got back up as though it was nothing. He healed from an injury in seconds, what would usually take a human weeks to even heal from.” Celestia replied to the question almost immediately. “If he is on our side, it is nothing to worry about.”Twilight had been deep in thought up to this point about that very thing, what side was he on?
She looked up and spoke up to the princess, “What side is he on?” she asked, hoping that the princess would know.
“That is your first mission, to find out, as the wielders of the Elements it is your job to protect Equestria, no matter how they are used.” Celestia replied.
“Wait so y’all are saying we gotta team up with someone, when we don’t even know what side they are on?!” Applejack quickly responded.
Celestia only sighed “Unfortunately, yes.”
Twilight said “Ok girls we will have to subliminally persuade him before we can get him to join us this one appears to be pretty crafty.Try to get on his good side.”
Deadpool marched out of the empty area that was once Ponyville. As he marched across Equestria, he proudly took out his guns , looking from left to right, scanning the area for opponents. Deadpool was now ready for anything this place had to throw at him, he had scared an entire town making it vacant, but for some reason he still had felt bad for those 6 ponies.
“Hey!”, he heard a familiar voice behind him. He looked behind him to see the 6 ponies that he was just thinking of.
He was shocked at this revelation, “Your still alive and you found me!” He heard himself shout out. He decided to continue with a theory as to how this happened, “I am not going to say it was aliens, but it was probably aliens.”
“Listen!” said Twilight.” We don’t like you, and you don’t like us, we got that clear, but we share a com Mephisto.”
Deadpool replied to this quickly and calmy “Actually I don’t really know why Mephisto is so bad, MY FRIEND JOHNY ON THE OTHER HAND.”
Pinkie Pie said,” Hey 6 is ok, but did you know that it is not actually a party without at least 7 ponies.”
Deadpool,clueless to what was going on, replied, “ Meh for me 15 is when a true party begins, and not until the beer and DJ booth get in. Seriously Spidey....worst....party...ever”
Applejack said “Hey, wanna see who can buck the most apples?”
He asked “ How am I supposed to buck with no hooves. That defies physics and is unarguably cheating on your part? I bid you good day.”
Rarity said “ How about I get you out of that atrocious outfit?” She smiled at the very thought of him with a better fashion design.
He frowned underneath the mask “I like this outfit, besides I look much better with the mask on.”
Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash were whispering about what the best way to get him to open up would be, before Rainbow Dash finally asked “Hey what is your origin story?”
Deadpools frown turned into a smile before he sung a song .
,and then said “And one day I will go up to the six fingered man and say “Hello my name is Deadpool, you killed my father, prepare to die.” "They made a movie about the story I just told you, the movie is named Scarface and stars Arnold Swcharzenneger as John Rambo."
Twilight just stood there with a confused face “ That story ,if you can call it that, didn’t make any sense.”
Pinkie pie added her opinion "What are you talking about,they should mak
Deadpool continued “ Oh and there was some crap about Weapon X and Cancer and Wade Wilson.”
Authors Deadpools notes: I have noticed I forgot to break the 4th wall enough in the last chapter. So, hi audiencei.
Authors note: As promised, here is part 2. I decided to add a bit of drama and character development, but I think I should stick to comedy
Deadpool had finally pieced it together what they were trying to do, having a different interpretation on their intentions, but still getting what was going on.
“You can stop getting on my good side.” Deadpool said, with a smart look on his face under the masked.
“But we wanted to team up, and defeat Mephisto.” Twilight said, yet again trying to persuade him.
Deadpool said “Listen I still have to find out who that Chaos dude was, because he didn’t look anything like Thor’s brother and he wasn’t really that friendly, he was a big dumb....thingy.”
Twilight turned and sighed before it hit her, “Wait did you say chaos dude?”. Deadpool nodded at this, before she continued “Girls its time we pay a certain statue a visit.”
Pinkie pie said “Wait but tonight is normal, how could Discord be on the loose if the precipitation isn’t delicious.” This made all the other ponies facehoof
“Sugarcube, much more happened than just chocolate rain” Applejack said, putting her hoof on Pinkie Pie’s shoulder, “He tried to plunge the world into eternal chaos.”
Deadpool stopped her “Wait, did you say Chocolate rain?”. The ponies stopped in their tracked and looked at him.
“What do you care?” asked Rarity, still eyeing his choice of fashion. Deadpool replied to this by babbling on and on about a song he wrote about the substance, saying he knew it was real his whole life but never got to see it up close.
Roughly 5 minutes and 300,000 words out of his mouth later, Twilight interrupted, “Ok we get it, but Pinkie Pie has a point, all kinds of chaotic things should be happening if he was on the loose.”
Just at that moment, a young filly walked out, she was grey with black eyes, but easily recognizable.
“Applebloom, what in tarnation happened to you, y’all look like you’ve been possessed.” asked Applejack.
“No, quite the opposite, I have been freed.” Applebloom replied, she stood there, practically emotionless.
“This is the work of Discord, it has to be.” Fluttershy nervously said, looking around almost expecting the draconequus to show up, start making riddles, and laugh at them. Everypony seemed to nod at this, they seemed to agree Discord was free and about and that he was messing with them, so that the second they thought they were safe, he would cause chaos.
“Discord did not free me, he is currently but a mental image trying to guide others to freedom, I was freed by the glorious Mephisto.” This left a image of shock on all of the ponies faces, Mephisto had gotten to her, but why a filly of all ponies.
“It was a simple plan of his, I foolishly wanted to insult the mighty Discord, so I made a deal with Mephisto that freed Discord as a mental image among ponies... and apparently your friend.” Appleboom continued. “Zecora apparently did not see the light and is currently trying to make a potion that will “fix” me, rather foolish if you ask me but nothing can fix what isn’t broken.”
All the of the ponies (and Deadpool) were stunned, except for Applejack whom was resisting tears were escaping her eyes, trying her best to conceal them, knowing if she gave in then she would be letting Mephisto get to her. Deadpool was now feeling something he never thought he would, he felt pity for the poor creature, he grabbed a zip lock bag from a hidden compartment in his left gun holster, he then handed the contents of the bag to the pony to cheer her up.
“I don’t know if it will make you happy but its all I got.” He gave a toothy smile under the mask.
The pony opened the bag, “A chimichanga?” She asked, wondering why he had one of these.
He nodded, “It’s my favorite food, it usually cheers me up when I am down, it is usually good with beer, or was it Mountain Dew, maybe it was just water. I’ll ask the author later.”
Applebloom spoke up, “Deadpool, the ruthless mercenary, trying to cheer someone up, how pathetic. If you are wondering how I know who you are, it is because I was freed, I know all about you, Wade. I also know its time for you to stop interrupting in things that aren’t your business.” yet again she said this practically emotionlessly, like a zombie.
Deadpool pulled out his blades and the rest of the ponies got ready for battle almost on instinct as 7 grey emotionless verisons of royal guards came out. Deadpool watched as they unsheathed there bladed pegasus wings.
He readied himself for battle against the muscular stallions as each ran towards them.
Deadpool watched as the first one charged at him, he jumped over the wing and stabbed the creature in the back. Applejack bucked the second one in the jaw, as it fell to the ground she rammed it head on. Pinkie Pie pulled a matador gag on one revealing an anvil behind her as she dodged its wing at the last second, it rammed head on into the the blacksmith tool. Rainbow Dash kept flying around, confusing her opponent, waiting for him leave himself open, eventually he did before she rammed him down. Rarity decided to summon a bunch of gems from the ground, after setting them in a wave formation they hit her opponent full throttle. Fluttershy gave her opponent, “The stare”, after seeing him unaffected she called upon nearby creatures, which then jumped on him. Twilight picked her opponent up using unicorn magic and started slamming him into the ground, practically beating him before finally stopping.
Deadpool said, “Well it looks like I made myself some friends today.”
Authors note : I may not do the Discord Scarface fic mentioned in the first chapter, instead I may do a Dead Rising crossover fic where Frank West ends up in Equestria .
Authors notes: See I got back to it, and also I would like to introduce my co writer for this and my Dead Rising story, Mcdonald’s Applejack toy that I got today, Ironically I got her with my Big Mac.
Mcdonalds Applejack’s notes : Hi, we are both dissapointed with this chapter and hope to do better in the next few, but we feel this barely is quality enough. We highly advise newer readers to read earlier chapters and to please excuse the grammar mistakes made in chapters 1 and 2.
Deadpool was sitting there next to the campfire the ponies had set, they had a long journey ahead of them, and to tell the truth, he was doubting whether or not he could beat Mephisto. This was Mephisto they were talking about, an actual devil. He could have powers Deadpool had never even seen.
“Hey, um, Mr. Deadpool.” Fluttershy walked up behind him, He didn’t turn around but simply responded to her voice.
“Shouldn’t you be asleep by now, kid.” Deadpool responded, forgetting any manners he might have had.
“That’s the thing, I can’t, I have trouble without Angel.” She closed her eyes, expecting him to laugh out loud, but instead Deadpool just laid back and looked at the stars.
Deadpool then said “Yeah (Inhale) I am having trouble sleeping mah self.(Exhale)” Fluttershy then sat down next to him and looked up at the stars.
“So any fancy constellations here?” Deadpool asked, trying to use a broken piece of glass as a telescope.
Fluttershy started pointing out the constellations “Discord’s beginning” and “Celestia’s beginning”.
“I’ll tell you what kid, if you can go the night without Angel, I’ll keep my mouth shut as long as you need.” Deadpool insisted, with his fingers crossed behind his back.
Fluttershy despite not knowing anything about crossed fingers, knew he was lying.
“Applejack taught me to spot a liar from a mile away.”, Fluttershy said.
“Well if you can do that, than you can spot a potentially life-threatening danger from a mile away.” Deadpool said.
Fluttershy asked how that worked.
“I don’t know, they’re your damn eyes.” Deadpool had replied, in his usual nature.
Fluttershy asked “Why do you wear a mask when everyone’s asleep, its not like anyone’s gonna freak out. I’m the elements of kindness, beauty doesn’t really concern me.” Deadpool then, not questioning her wisdom, actually took off his mask, and she kept her promise, she just looked at him normally. They had a casual (Well casual for Deadpool) discussion, and he finally convinced her to get some sleep.
Hours later, Deadpool looked up at the constellation “Discords Reign”, to see the oddest thing he ever had. The constellation started moonwalking before it actually looked at him, he took a second to ponder what was going on, but he just couldn’t. Suddenly the chaos dude from earlier appeared before his very eyes. He put the mask back on and ran after the creature into the Everfree forest. The chaotic creature then grew 3 times its own size, fangs sharpening, eyes turning blood red, and fingers turning into claws, It looked like a movie monster now, Deadpool stepped back as it laughed.
“ AFTER 2000 YEARS, I AM COMPLETE!” It had said, its voice sounded like pure thunder, its face looked like Godzilla’s. It charged up a blast aiming directly for Deadpool.
Deadpool had to think fast, he knew this creature loved 2 things chaos and things that didn’t make sense. He slowly looked up to Discord and said “ Hey before you kill me I have a challenge for you.”
Discord cancelled the beam and said “You dare to challenge a god, one with such arrogance better be worth while.” Deadpool snickered.
Deadpool took a deep breath and sung “I CHALLENGE YOU TO A ROCK OOOOFFFFF, GIVE ME ONE CHANCE TO ROCK YOUR SOCKS OFF”!
Discord, of course, laughed, “ A rock off ? Really, fine, what are your terms, what’s the ca-aa-aatch.?”
Deadpool heard a noise behind him and smiled seeing the Mane 6 were awake ,” If I win you must take your sorry ass down to hell, also you will have to pay for my chimichangas”
Discord rubbed his beard, “And what if I win?”
Deadpool pointed his finger at the Mane 6 and said “All yours”
Discord then shrugged “Fine, let the rock off, BEGIN!!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHA!” Discord said as a
fire appeared around him and Deadpool.
♫
I’m Discord the devil, I love metal..... Check this rip ITS FUCKING TASTY.
(Guitar rift)
I am Discord I can do what I want
Whatever I’ve got I’m gonna flaunt.
There’s never been a rockoff that I’ve ever lost.
I can’t wait to take the 6 ponies with me.
I’m gonna rape and torture each one with glee.
Oh man I’ve never felt so free ♫
\
Discord was then hit by an actual rock.
“You really need to go over the rules before you play, but if that is the kind of rock off you wanna do then okay.”
Deadpool said, before Discord angrily poofed a guitar in his hands.Then Deadpool noticed the ponies behind him shedding tears and saying goodbye to one another, each taking there precious time, as though it were there last day together. He felt it again, he felt guilt, he then stood up and looked Discords smirking face in the eye, he was going to win this, or at least make sure Discord didn’t.
“
And besides, that song isn’t classified as rock, its classified as shit.” He said. “THIS IS HOW YOU DO IT!”
Deadpool then stood up proudly and sung what was probably the greatest song ever.
♫ ( Worlds greatest guitar rift)
She's got a smile that it seems to me
Reminds me of childhood memories
Where everything
Was as fresh as the bright blue sky
Now and then when I see her face
She takes me away to that special place
And if I'd stare too long
I'd probably break down and cry
Sweet child o' mine
Sweet love of mine
She's got eyes of the bluest skies
As if they thought of rain
I hate to look into those eyes
And see an ounce of pain
Her hair reminds me of a warm safe place
Where as a child I'd hide
And pray for the thunder
And the rain
To quietly pass me by
Sweet child o' mine
Sweet love of mine
Where do we go
Where do we go now
Where do we go
Sweet child o' mine
♫
Discord was stunned at this, he had been beaten by a mortal. The Mane 6 also stared in awe at Deadpool just shrugged and watched as a portal to hell opened and consumed Discord.
It was a site to see, watching as the Draconequus sank in the fires of hell, Deadpool knew that the wicked, know matter what dimension, would end up in those very flames of Mephisto’s realm.
Warning: Crackshipping ahead part 1
Authors notes : Dear audience, apparently McDonald’s Applejack thinks this story could use some romance, normally people would ship Deadpool with Pinkie Pie, but I found that to be too predictable, so I went into the clusterf*ck mess known as my mind and this is what I managed to piece together, of course out of all things I wanted to choose I had one priority It had to be a crackship
McDonald’s Applejack’s notes: Y’all need to learn when a piece of literature needs a touching moment to separate it from an Al Pacino movie.
Authors notes : Don’t talk shit about Scarface. >:-(, Please read the earlier chapters before scolding me about this one, and remember the grammar picks up on chapter 3. And before you point out any plot holes involving Thanos, read the full chapter please.
Applejack lay there in her tent, having trouble sleeping, every time she did, she kept thinking of “him”. He had not only tried his best to cheer her up when she was fighting the hardest emotional struggle she ever had, he had also,less than 30 minutes ago, pulled up the greatest song she had ever heard, for the soul purpose of saving her and her friends.
Even if under that mask was an abomination, all she would see would be a handsome knight who just took off his helmet, and why shouldn’t she, at his heart, where it counts, he was shining a mighty light of beautiful platinum, no matter how messed up his face and mind were.
Was he violent? Yes. Was he insane? Yes. But did he care about friends? YES! He had his flaws, but he had his pros too. He was a caring friend, who was determined to get missions received done, and he showed that under the mercenary exterior, is a caring man.
However, he was human, she wasn’t, accompanied by the fact she wielded one of the Elements of Harmony making her immortal, he would die one day.
It was something that couldn’t work no matter how hard she tried, no matter how hard she wanted to be with him, no matter how hard she tried.
He probably didn’t even feel the same way about her. He probably saw her as one of six, just six horses to him, six weak and measly horses. She was a farm girl and he was a mercenary, she liked apple pie and he like chimichangas, she wore a hat and he wore a mask. If they were so different, then why did she like him so much after barely knowing him? Was it a stupid hormonal thing? Had she gained some kind of fetish, or were these actual feelings?
This was something she would have to find out, and find out before they defeated Mephisto.
Deadpool went back to looking at the stars, he saw the famous Equestrian “Don’t fear the Reaper” star, and of course that brought back painful memories of a loved one, a loved one Thanos had cursed him never to see, a loved one that made him want to die as soon as possible, a loved one that was Death itself. Death was the one bit of happiness he had in his life, and that was enough for him, but what about now, would she want him to move on, would she want him to be free. No, her opinion does not matter now as she does not affect him anymore, he is immortal, a burden he must deal with.
Still, since he will never know what could have been, then what could be. What would his future hold for him that he hasn’t already found. Emotions of that calibre were for those weaker than the 4th wall. Yet he found himself falling for Death, why? Deadpool, then heard a trotting noise behind him.
“Hey Applejack.” He said.
Applejack looked at him and asked “How did you know it was me?”
Deadpool then replied with a simple yet understandable answer, “I’ve learned to tell the difference in how each of you walk, you each have a unique walk that fits your personality. By the way you might wanna duck”. She did as told and watched as a bladed wing glided over her.
Before the 2 of them stood 20 discorded royal guards, each one ready for battle. Deadpool took out his swords and said “Come and get me.”, before they all charged at him and Applejack.
Deadpool was using his blades to knock his opponents off course, before stabbing them, Applejack hit her opponents in the chest with her hooves, but the more they took down the more came in waves, they seemed to not notice this, and struggled to keep fighting while keeping the opponents away from the other tents.
(Cue battle montage to this song)
Finally it happened, a guard got a hit on Applejack’s leg, Applejack fell to the ground in pain, before Deadpool came to her aid and battled off the attacker before defending her from being further injured. He then took out both of his guns and fired repeatedly spraying projectiles at opponents, making sure he stayed close to Applejack so that she would survive this fight.
He was fed up and eventually yelled out the other 5 ponies names to help Applejack live through the fight, as soon as the rest of the Mane 6 saw the state she was in they rushed her into Fluttershy’s tent for medical care.
Deadpool then finished off the remaining guards with the help of 4 of 6 ponies while Fluttershy attended Applejacks wound. The site of blood and gore was horrid.
Deadpool sat there and stared before going to bed.
Chapter end.
Crackshipping ahead part 2
Authors notes: Yes it is time to go back to the crack shipping, I would like to share with you though in a future blog post what the key to pulling off the romance factor was, and how me and Mcdonalds Applejack did it.
Also excuse the joke where I compare how much better Deadpool is than the vampires from Twilight, I did not mean to offend any fans of Stephanie Meyers work.
Applejack woke up, the pain in her leg still there, but she had the most pleasant dream, a dream of her and Deadpool, after this was all over, and for some reason, she was a human girl. Deadpool being the one who just saved her life was all she remembered in the last 5 minutes. Deadpool had just proven the point that was flowing through her head all night, he was reckless, violent, and caring. He was like a vampire, who sparkled in the sun, only more insane and
FAR less whiny. (Authors note: Aw come on I couldn’t resist that joke.) . Applejack then tried to get up before the pain in her leg intensified.
“No, Applejack, you’re in no condition to get up.”, Fluttershy said, calmly looking at the leg she just bandaged.
“You’re lucky Deadpool was there to save you, had he not been awake, you would’ve been a goner.” Fluttershy continued, now looking at Deadpool who was sound asleep under the stars.
Applejack stubbornly disagreed and tried to get up again before falling back down this time harder than the last due to the fact she got farther.
“No Applejack, just lay back, and relax. Think about calming thoughts, like your favorite spot in Sweet Apple Acres, now imagine your on that hill, watching the sun set down, the birds singing a beautiful song, and no trouble in the world.” Fluttershy said.
This easily calmed Applejack down, she got her mind off of Mephisto, off of Discord, off of anything else giving her stress, it felt as though she was on a cloud. She felt warm and soft inside, as Fluttershy lay a blanket over her, It was now 11:30 and the ponies had 8 hours before it was time to hit the road (Even though Twilight insisted they go at six).
“Now imagine that stallion you were talking to in your dream was next to you, and you 2 were leaned up against each other like a pair of doves.” Fluttershy continued. Although Applejack knew Fluttershy’s hearts and hooves were in the right place when she said this, the word “Stallion” made her have to conceal a tear. Fluttershy saw she made Applejack uncomfortable and slowly stepped back, after barely audibly muttering “Sorry”.
This lead her to extreme sorrow, just the fact that when everypony thought of love for a mare they thought of a mare and a stallion. If that wasn’t the case they would automatically think she was a Fillyfooler like Rainbow Dash. Only Applejack actually WASN’T a fillyfooler, Rainbow Dash was just so far in the closet, she found Marenia, but back on topic.
It's funny, romance was the last thing she thought of in her life, she thought most stallions were just jerks who just saw her as " a fresh virgin olive" ( excluding Big Mac ), she expected no different of Deadpool’s species, but for some reason different of Deadpool.
Rarity, being the pony who loved romance, took advantage of Applejack’s honest nature.
“So who is the lucky stallion, he may not be immortal like us but I’m pretty sure Celestia can fix that so that he can be.”, Rarity said, making a lump form in Applejack’s throat.
Could it be that Deadpool could be made immortal? (Authors note : Yes i am well aware he already is, but Applejack isn’t aware.) Would he accept her as a girlfriend?
Applejack tried to hold her breath to not tell her, so Rarity just looked her sternly in the eye. Applejack, of course could not hold it in and let go.
“Its not a stallion.” Applejack said, Rainbow Dash instantly looked up at this Authors note: I love jokes involving Rainbow Dash’s sexuality.
Rarity said, “I didn’t know you were a fillyfooler.”, To which Applejack shook her head no, putting a frown on Rainbow Dash’s face.
Rarity was now confused, “If you don’t like stallions and you don’t like mares, who do you like.”
Applejack turned as red as blood as she tried to come up with an excuse not to tell them. All the other ponies were looking at her.
Pinkie Pie then spoke up, “It is Deadpool, duh.”
Rarity just ignored the comment along with the other ponies, before asking “Stop playing games, Applejack. Who is your mystery crush?”
Applejack finally spoke up, “Pinkie’s right, it is Deadpool.” She looked down, ashamed that she disgraced herself by falling in love with someone who wasn’t even her own species.
Rarity looked, “Doomed love? THAT’s the most romantic kind?”, She then picked up a flower. “Your love is dead, your love is doomed, your love is dead, your love is doomed.” Rarity said, pulling off the pedals, “But in the end you find a way to love each other.” She said nervously.
Applejack went back to bed, wondering whether or not she should’’ve told her friends that.
Authors notes: I decided that Deadpool in Equestria be brought back to the top of my priorities, for the followers of my other 2 stories, you can relax, I will get back to those soon, but quality over quantity and monkeys over both as I say, so I shall be alternating.
It was now time they got moving, now with an ally injured they decided to organize a formation, Fluttershy in the very middle carrying the wounded farmer pony, Deadpool at the front ready for a full blown assault.
“Y’all know I’m fine, Ya can stop carrying me now.”, Applejack said, trying her best to conceal her annoyance at her own situation.
Deadpool chimed in his opinion, “Sorry kid, but from what I saw that wound went all the way to the bone, and since you don’t have my awesomeness, you have to wait to heal.”
Applejack hated to admit it, but he was right, this was one deep wound, it would probably hurt like hell if she even thought about limping on it, so she followed his advice and stayed put.
Rainbow Dash looked at a nearby hill to see the grey Applebloom had come back to taunt them again. Only now, she looked different, no pupils, an even duller shade of grey, and what appeared to be a set of fangs.
Everyone looked in the direction Rainbow Dash was staring at, it was truly a horrible site, with her were 2 grey guards with fangs, no pupils, and spiked armor.
Deadpool saw these new traits and ultimately decided that they meant something more than just further under control.
Applebloom walked up to Deadpool and recited the following.
“He wants you to be free as well, he wants you to know the stupidity of caring for anyone other than yourself, but first you must accept him.” Applebloom said, now the emotionless state was still the same, but the tone was much... darker. As though she had just walked out of hell, like a cultist who got hold of a special power of some sort.Deadpool looked into the pupil-less eyes.
His entire life flashed before his eyes, an immature reckless child to an insane reckless adult.
The next thing he knew, he was in Mephisto’s realm, watching as both Marvel (Earth 616) and Capcom characters alike fought with Discord as Mephisto sat on his throne, he was much more powerful in this state, like he had unlocked something new, something that even a demon shouldn’t be able to handle.
Mephisto looked over to Deadpool, the 2 made eye contact, Deadpool jumped and tried to stab his sword into Mephisto, whom simply caught Deadpool in mid-air before setting him to the ground.
Deadpool was no fool, insane, but not a fool. He sheathed his sword.
“You really think someone as chaotic as you could do anymore than make Discord more powerful!” Mephisto cackled arrogantly.
Deadpool took a step back, before pulling out 2 SMGs and opening fire, Mephisto catching the bullets in his hand.
“Dude, that is serious Dragon Ball Z crap your pulling.” Deadpool said.
Deadpool then holstered the firearms, before asking Mephisto what was going on.
Mephisto laughed at the sound of this.
“Look at this, this is where the wicked go, beautiful isn’t it?” Mephisto said, making Deadpool look over at his friends being beaten down. Wolverine looked over to Deadpool to yell.
“HOW IN HELL DID YOU GET HERE!?” Wolverine shouted, “IF I KNEW YOU WERE GOING TO SCREW UP THAT EASY I WOULD’VE SENT DANTE!”
Deadpool ignored the comment and the question, before going back to his talk with Mephisto.
“Why am I here!?” Deadpool shouted straight to Mephisto’s face, as soon as he said this another flash of light came over him, he couldn’t comprehend all the images going through his head at once and collapsed.
When he awoke, he saw the Mane 6, each with chain collars around their neck. He got a closer look to see each was chained to a guard, captured. Guards had come in like an army and over threw them. He got up slowly from the grass and pulled out the SMGs.
While firing at the guards he started singing a song specifically designed to mock them.
He took them down bullet by bullet, spraying ammo all over the area. He eventually took out a smoke grenade and threw it at the bunch holding the Mane 6 hostage.
When the smoke cleared the collars were off and the Mane 6 started to join the fight with the guards.
The Mane 6 and Deadpool walked along having defeated an onslaught of guards, Deadpool watched as his left hand grew, the ponies were stunned at the very site of this, except Pinkie Pie who saw it coming because her back left hoff wouldn’t stop stomping, a sign that a limb was about to grow back.
Twilight asked, “What just happened!?”
“Oh yeah, I should have told you guys, I’m sorta a mutant who’s power is cellular regeneration. Oh also some guy named Thanos cursed me to live forever.” Deadpool replied, not noticing how Applejack’s head stood up at the “live forever” part.
Deadpool continued, “Now may I ask you a question?” Twilight nodded.
“Is there by chance any way you could get me in contact with someone from another dimension?” Deadpool smirked under the mask.
“Yeah, why?” asked Twilight, curious as to who the heck Deadpool wanted to call, hoping it wasn’t his love life for Applejack’s sake, and hoping it wasn’t his family just because of knowing one person that is enough.
“I have some contacts back home that may be able to help us win this.” Deadpool replied, wondering whether or not Dante or Ghost Rider would be able to hunt down Mephisto.
Twilight replied, “Ok but it’s gonna take a while, why not talk to the others while you wait.” Deadpool nodded, eager that he was going to get advice and maybe even help from real Demon hunters ( Well real if it weren’t for that damn 4th wall, man he hated that thing.)
Authors note: Yet again I tricked the audience, how you may ask? Find out now.
Twilight watched as her magic unfolded, folding and ripping time and space just to sew it back together, out of all the spells she had mastered, this was the hardest. Messing with the multiverse was a dangerous task. It was something nopony other than Starswirl the bearded had done (and him doing it lead to his disappearance), not even Celestia herself had done such a task.
However, it had to be done, or else Discord may win.
Her friends all sat down and rested, they talked about things they wanted in their life that they knew they could never get, Deadpool rested on a tree branch, talking to himself about movies that he wish he could stop himself from seeing.
He watched as his friend tried to decode the passage of the multiverse, until he eventually spoke up.
“Man whoever is writing this fanfic sucks, I mean it lacks both proper grammar and good spelling. Hey you, writer, yeah you, you’re an asshole.” He said aloud, causing all of the ponies except Twilight and Pinkie Pie to look at him.
Pinkie Pie then disagreed, “Actually, while his grammar might not be the best, his spelling is pretty good, however he is still an asshole, but a lovable one.”
Deadpool nodded, seeing that as middle ground and taking it as it is.
“Ok Deadpool I think I got in contact with your friends, Dante and Ghost Rider right.” Deadpool smiled under the mask and jumped down from the tree branch, before walking up to the dimensional video chat.
”Ghost, Dante, how is it going!?” He said, just happy to see his friends again.
”Deadpool, lets just get down to business.” said Ghost Rider.
“Listen, we need you guys more than ever here, we need to somehow open a dimensional rip that physically works before you two can enter Equestria, so I need some help getting the magic to do that.” Deadpool said, not knowing a certain lawyer overheard their conversation.
”Leave it to me.”, said Phoenix Wright, as he pulled out a pen and piece of paper.
“Phoenix,” Dante put his hand on Phoenix’s shoulder, “I don’t think it is that simple that a mortal like you can do it.”
“Never underestimate the power of a contract, isn’t that right Ghost Rider.” Phoenix chuckled as Ghost Rider grunted at the comment.
Phoenix then wrote down a document, as Dante yawned.
“Discord I need you to sign here, here, here, and here, for legalized chaos to take place in 2 dimensions at once, in the event that you do not like this contract, there is no breaking out of it, make your choice.” said Phoenix as he held a paper to Discord’s face, before going into full details of the contract.
Discord lit up like a lightbulb as soon as he heard the words “legalized chaos”, just the idea of his wonderful chaos being made legal made him go crazy.
Discord grabbed the paper and signed it.
Deadpool then watched as a portal opened between the 2 dimensions.
Discord roared in anger at Phoenix Wright, “You TRICKED ME!”,
He shouted this before Phoenix’s face before Phoenix simply replied
“HOLD IT! I did nothing of the sort, do you have any idea how chaotic an dimensional gap being opened is? I am not like the other lawyers who just screw you over, I gave you full details about the contract and gave exactly what you wanted.”.
Discord then got even more enraged and literally picked Phoenix up and through him into the portal, when Phoenix landed on the other side, Discord taunted them before closing the portal.
“YOU GOT YOUR DAMN HELP! BUH-BYE!”
“Well we wanted, Dante and Ghost Rider and ended up getting the lawyer!” Deadpool facepalmed.
Pinkie Pie being optimistic as usual said, “We wanted a skull and a frat boy and ended up getting someone who trolled a god.”
Deadpool sighed and introduced them, “Phoenix these are the Mighty Morphin Pony Rangers, Pony Rangers, this is Phoenix Wright.”
Twilight sighed and said “Why do you keep calling us that!?”
Deadpool walked down the steps slowly, he had to admit, he thought a portal to hell would look much scarier, it did in the movies and in those boring history classes, but then again he was geared to the teeth with weapons.
The ponies and Phoenix were following him, their steps almost in synchronization. They were all creeped out just by the sight of things.
To explain it, it was dimly lit by glowing decapitated heads that were chained to the ceiling, though decapitated the heads seemed to be fully conscious as their eyes followed Deadpool. The walls were made of what looked like blood covering rusted metal.
The strange, and rather terrifying, thing about the walls was every time you looked at them, it would depict an image of you dying, each one a more horrifying death than the last, always with words like, ‘Arrogant mercenary’ or ‘Turn back’ underneath.
The stairs would make shrieking noises with each step, as though it were someone’s face being stepped on, but it wasn’t always a shrieking noise, sometimes it was a crazed laughter, sometimes it was the step yelling “Yes, the pain!” and sometimes it was “Turn back.”
Applejack and Rainbow Dash were trying to look tough, Fluttershy and Rarity were REALLY uncomfortable, Twilight was questioning how it was physically possible, and Phoenix was saying it was almost as creepy as some of the people he had to cross examine.
Deadpool, however, kept moving forward.
“Damn Mephisto, no one fucks with MY BRAIN, and gets away with it.”, Deadpool mumbled as he walked forward.
“How about we settle this over a nice broadway musical?”, He heard Mephisto’s voice laugh as it echoed in his head.
Deadpool just clenched his fist.
“The only good musical is Avenue Q, and maybe Pick of Destiny.”, He replied.
He was ready to freaking kill Mephisto, after all that had happened, all the innocents who had been possessed or killed. He was ready to end it all with a single slash.
“You do realize you are sealing your own fate by coming down here, right?” , Mephisto’s voice exclaimed.
“Oh please, what are you going to do? Turn me into a Baraka rip-off with laser eyes, hate to break it to you, but a team of bad writers beat you to it.”, Deadpool replied.
By the time they reached Mephisto’s realm, Rarity was having the other ponies carry her at a certain height so that she didn’t have to step on the ‘filthy speaking abominations’.
They looked around the area to see heroes beaten and lying, almost dead.”
“Okay, Phoenix, you and the ponies go take care of the others. Mephisto has pissed me off enough as it is.”
As Deadpool slowly walked down the hallways he looked at the souls that had been claimed, and put in the “collection” each soul displayed the person frozen in what appeared to be dark magic, Deadpool browsed and said the names aloud.
“Joseph Stalin, Adolf Hitler, Judas, Richard Nixon, Walt Disney, Ted Bundy, Fredderick Barbarossa, Christopher Columbus, Jack Hammer, Theresa Cassidy.”
Deadpool then paused.
“Weasel? Siryn?”
The hellish voice that had been tormenting him came from behind him, this time deeper and more taunting.
“I see you have found the 2 newest additions, I added them just for you.”
Deadpool turned around and pulled out two guns to see nothing there, before Mephisto popped up in front of him and grabbed him by the neck.
Mephisto spoke again, this time his voice even more fierce.
“You really thought that you could win this battle.”, he said before throwing Deadpool on the ground, then burst out from underneath Deadpool with an uppercut thus launching him into the air.
Deadpool pulled out a pistol and shot Mephisto straight in the head.
“You’re going to regret that.”, Mephisto said before he teleported behind Deadpool and slammed him to the ground.
“Don’t you get it? You can’t stop me. You are a mere mutant freak, while I rule the realm of the damned.”
Deadpool struggled to get back up, his healing factor wasn’t even working! What was going on?
As Mephisto got ready to step on his skull, a blast of light interrupted the fight.
“Sorry sugarcube, can’t let you do that.”, came a familiar southern voice.
Applejack stood before them, wearing the Element of Honesty upon her neck.
Deadpool’s healing factor kicked back in as his broken bones snapped back into place. He looked at Applejack.
“Kid you don’t know what you are getting yourself into.” Deadpool said, warning her not to interrupt the fight. He then grabbed his 2 glock 17 semi-automatic pistols and fired 3 bullets into Mephisto.
“Love makes you do crazy things.”, she replied, making Deadpools eyes pop open.
“SAY WHAT!?”
Applejack only giggled at his reaction before shooting another blast at Mephisto, this one he managed to block.
The demon walked towards her.
“Weak, pathetic, WORTHLESS!”, he yelled as he was seething with rage.
5 more blast came from behind Applejack as the rest of the ponies walked in.
“Sorry, Mephisto, but friends stick together. “ Twilight said as the ponies floated in the air.
A huge blast of erupted from the Elements of Harmony, which Deadpool then used as his chance to run across the room and stab Mephisto straight in the eye with his katana.
Deadpool collapsed.and everything faded to black.
Earth P0N3 (Reboot part 1)
““This is the police, come out with your hands in the air!”, SWAT members circled the building, dozens of them. A code red crime was taking place. As the red and black mercenary walked out of the building, he had 2 Glock 17s. out and ready to fire.
“Yeah, I’m so scared. About 1 hundred guys in useless vest versus 1 guy who is practically invincible.”, He said as he walked out of the building.
“Deadpool, calm down, SHIELD just needs you to join me on a mission.”, a red white and blue man, with a shield of the same colors, came out with the shield in front of him.
Deadpool slowly lowered the firearms, but not before taking out about 3 SWAT members with expertly fired bullets to the head and chuckling at their dead corpses..
“Listen, Cappy, you don’t mind if I call you that, do you? Good. We’ve known eachother for about a few years now. And throughout those good ol years, SHIELD has tried to execute, poison, burn, dismember, decapitate, incinerate, and splice me. All of which have failed thanks to my healing factor. ”
“Deadpool, need I remind you, you used to be a hostile, and to this day, you are listed as a terrorist freelance mercenary in their records.”, Captain America said as he lowered his shield.
“So what, I blew up a populated building or two, it’s not like I don’t have moral standards, besides, can’t you get Wolverine, or one of the other Avengers to do it..”, Deadpool said as he spun his gun in his hand.
“You honestly think it’s that easy? They are all on important missions, besides, this mission would require someone as crazy as you.”
“And why is that?”, Deadpool asked, now curious as to whether or not this was a suicide mission.
“Deadpool, just look at the mission summary..”, Captain America said as he handed Deadpool the folder.
We have come in contact with a world of talking Equine like creatures, in the events of exploring a strange forest they call “Everfree”, we have managed to capture one, however this creature “Pinkie Pie” as she calls herself, is extremely uncooperative, and will require someone as talkative and obnoxious as her, we have sent Captain America to negotiate with free lance mercenary, Wade Winston Wilson, better known as “Deadpool”, his mouth may be what we need to unlock her secrets.
Deadpool looked over the file again.
“Okay, I can easily do that, but talking ponies, is that really a threat?”
As the mercenary stepped out of the plane, he boarded onto a helicarrier flying in mid air, before an eye patch wearing man walked up to him.
“Hey! Fury, what’s up man? Still regretting being played by David Hasselhoff in 1998, I bet.”
Deadpool patted the man on the back as the man stared in confusion at the David Hasselhoff comment before shaking his head back to reality.
“Deadpool, please just keep your mouth closed until you get to the destination.”, Captain America politely commented.
“No can do, Cappy, Wolvey recently made a twenty dollar bet to me that I couldn’t shut up for more than 2 seconds, and since I already owe him that much, I plan on losing.”, Deadpool smiled under his mask.
Deadpool walked slowly to his destination, whistling the theme from the movie “Predator” the entire way.Every time he heard a SHIELD agent whisper a rumor, he would shoot them.
The captive he was supposed to talk to, a pink pony, was in an electric cage.
“Heh, it’s like a 1000 volt joybuzzer!”, she yelled in glee.
“I know right! When they put me in one of those things, I was thinking that exact same thought the entire time!”, Deadpool replied.
“Finally, someone who isn’t as lame as Oldie McMeanPants”, she pointed to Nick Fury.
“A fitting nickname if I do say so myself.”, Deadpool chuckled. “Anyway, listen, Pinkie, I need your help, I need you to answer a few questions.”
“Okie Dokie Loki!”. Pinkie replied heartedly.
“Heh, Loki, he once cursed me to look like Tom Cruise you know.”, Deadpool said, “Anyway, I am Wade Wilson, so what is your world like?”
“I don’t know, it’s different from everypony’s perspective, from the simple butterfly, to the mighty dragon who wants to give Rarity his diamonds.”
Deadpool shrugged.
“Dragons?”, he asked.
“And manticores, and diamond dogs, and cockatrices, and hydras, and changelings.”, Pinkie explained and named a multitude of monsters.
“Well this place certainly sounds … dangerous.”, Deadpool replied, while at the same time imagining himself shooting said creatures as they run for their lives, with flames rising up in the background.
“Oh no, Princess Celestia keeps everypony safe from those creatures, as long as they stay in the Everfree forest, we should be fine.”
Deadpool gave a disappointed look (which, of course, no one could see under his mask) before asking further questions.
As Deadpool walked out of the room. He imagined what Equestria would be like, it sounded too peaceful for his taste however.
“I have to admit, the place sounded pretty boring, as long as you guys keep away from the ‘Everfree forest’ you should be safe.”
“Thank you for your cooperation, Deadpool.”, Nick Fury replied.
“But I still wonder what that place is like.”, Deadpool said, before noticing a tied up man with an eye patch in a nearby closet.
“Well why don’t you find out.”, said the fake Nick Fury as he transformed into Loki, god of Chaos and Deceit.
Next thing Deadpool knew, he was spiraling into a dark tunnel, falling at a speed slower than light, but faster than sound, he was spinning endlessly, his eyes were pried open, and his brain was unable to process what was going on, it felt like he was not in a dimension at all, but in between. Although he knew that inevitably, everything would eventually fade to black.
Awakening from his unconscious state, Deadpool slowly opened his eyes, his vision blurred. It slowly started clearing. The first thing he noticed was the pink hyperactive pony he had talked to earlier, now staring at him with a bucket of water next to her hoof.
The room he was in looked to be made of cinderblock and down below he could see a multitude of ponies, that were as tiny as ants, outside the window. He was on a table.
Everything began to fade back to black as his eyes got heavy before he heard a female, rather excited voice.
“Poor more water on him!”. In his current state it took him a second to comprehend what he had just heard, and by the time he did it was too late.
He was soaked and got up, before being knocked back to the ground by a mint colored unicorn.
“Hi Mr.Human! What’s your name? I’m Lyra, Lyra Heartstrings!”, the unicorn said as she wandered around him, studying his hands.
“Please tell me where my weapons are so I can shoot this kid.”, Deadpool spoke in a raspy voice before clearing his throat.
Lyra completely ignoring his statement, did an excited giggle at the fact he could talk.
“Hey! Lyra’s in the royal symphony! Wait, shouldn’t you have guessed that by her cutie mark and the fact that you were in a castle?”, Pinkie said, before raising an eyebrow.
“You mean that tattoo on her ass? I thought that was for horse sex appeal or something.”, Deadpool replied.
“No, Pinkie, humans don’t have cutie marks in their world.”, Lyra said.
Deadpool cringed at the word human, and decided to correct Lyra.
“Don’t call me human.”
Lyra showed a confused expression, before questioning his morals for saying this.
“Why, isn’t that what you are? You’re human, unlike us ponies, you’re world relies on technology, and doesn’t know who their god is, only that he or she cares for them.”
Deadpool sat up.
“I’m a mutant, I rely on brute force and God gave up on me a long time ago.”
He finally got up, and left to search for his weapons. The ponies did not try to stop him as he seemed strong enough to handle them.
“Amazing, he just... got up, after a 3000 foot fall into the Everfree forest, and being manhandled by a manticore.”, a purple unicorn walked into the room and made a note on how his healing worked.
“Any other living thing would be dead after that.”.
“Twilight, are you sure you should be writing this down, he doesn’t seem to be the type we want to get angry.”, Pinkie asked.
Deadpool walked through a blue door to see a muscular red stallion with an orange mane guarding his weapons.
“Hey, my weapons!”, he said before running towards them.
The stallion only sighed and said a single word.
“Nope.”
He held out a hoof and stopped Deadpool from going towards his weapons.
“What the hell is your problem, keeping a man from his property?”
“Well, Ah was asked to keep an eye on these weapons by mah sister, and to make sure specifically that y’all did not touch them.”
“Listen, I was created by Rob Liefield. That means, no matter how muscular you are, I have more muscle in my pinkie finger.”
The stallion knew what was coming next and geared for battle along with Deadpool.
Deadpool thrusted forward into a leap and pounded the stallion straight in the jaw.
“Street fighter combo crap!”, he yelled before throwing a second punch, and a third, and a fourth.
The stallion caught Deadpool’s fist before a fifth blow could be landed, and then hit back with astonishing force. This blow effectively knocked Deadpool straight to the ground.
“You’re tough, I’ll give you that.”, the stallion said, before seeing get Deadpool get back up. 3 teeth were missing, however they grew right back.
“The great thing about this healing factor is it saves me a trip to the dentist.”, Deadpool wise-cracked. He merely leaped over the stallion and grabbed the katanas.
“But playtime is over.”, Deadpool said, before getting ready to stab the stallion.
Deadpool was not surprised when an orange mare with a stetson bursted through the door.
“Anything to keep me from killing a cameo character, eh author?”, he said as he raised an eyebrow, lowering the sharp blade.
Loki looked at Discord’s statue.
“Soon my other worldly companion, you shall be free of this wretched stone imprisonment. Maybe I can curse the obnoxious one to look like Tom Cruise again, or better yet, make him look like the ‘Stan Lee’ fellow he is always pointing at in crowds..”
The statue’s eyes glowed.
“I’m thinking about giving that Ghost Rider fellow you told me about a tricycle, and maybe that Deadpool guy would have more fun if he had his mouth stitched shut, and the green guy needs anger management from a general. Oh, the chaos!”
Deadpool shook his head in disbelief.
“So the orange pony, despite the lack of any genetic traits other than eye color shared between the two, is related to the red pony?”, Deadpool was baffled.
“Fer the gosh dern millionth time, YES!”, the orange mare, named Applejack, replied.
Deadpool scratched his head.
“Genetics here are more effed up than I am.”, he said before the ponies looked at him in disbelief considering what he had just been through. “Anyhow, got any chicken chimichangas?”
This comment made the ponies recoil in shock.
“Great, a carnivore! Fluttershy dun went and rescued a carnivore!”, Applejack.
“Omnivore.”, Lyra corrected, calmly as ever. “They’ll also eat plants.”
This comment made a yellow pegasus in the background calm down slightly.
“Great, now that we know what he’ll eat and what he is , I think it’s time we learn WHO he is.”, a white unicorn with a purple mane chimed in.
Twilight walked in.
“I’m guessing you’re a soldier of some kind?”
Deadpool shook his head at the soldier comment.
“All I ever wanted to do was travel to far off exotic places.”
The ponies raised their eyebrows.
“Meet new exciting people.”
They then tilted their heads.
“And then kill them.”
The ponies were stunned. they couldn’t believe their own ears. A man who took pride in murder.
“So I became a mercenary.”
Twilight quickly calmed down, but gave Deadpool a rather suspicious look.
“Okay Deadpool, as a mercenary, what were you doing in Equestria?”
“This guy named Loki sent me through here via a black hole of sorts, I was at SHIELD headquarters at the time.”
“Now tell us, how do you heal so easily?”
3 days later
Dear Weasel,
I’ve made alot of progress since going to Equestria, I have a new girlfriend, a new home, new friends.
I owe a lot of progress in my life to you, so thanks for sticking by me most of my life.
I hope sometime soon, you may visit this glorious land, it’s a little too peaceful for my taste, but that is no problem. As I am slowly regaining things I felt I lost back in weapon X. My mission was to defeat Mephisto, and I did just that.
Sincerely, Deadpool.
Deadpool put up the pen and notebook, and breathed in the fresh air, before walking out of Sweet Apple Acres barn, and into a better life.
