Chapters The Sexiest Man in Equestria
Hello! My name is Zephyr Arvrkar(weird name, I know). And I am currently the only human in Equestria, the magical land of talking, humanoid ponies. And I mean 'magical' in the most literal way possible, here. If it wasn't for magic, I wouldn't even be here. See, there was this guy named Discord, who was basically their version of Loki, except he was a like the platypus's great-granddaddy, with every one of his body parts from a different creature. Apparently, he was imprisoned in stone, and when he busted out, he cast a summoning spell to try and find an equally chaotic creature to help him. And while I agree that humans are pretty chaotic, he kinda got screwed with me, since I'm really not. Granted, I've done some pretty stupid things, but I wasn't about to just start making people's, or in this case, ponies', lives difficult just because some dude with phenomenal cosmic power demanded it from me. So, once he was back to being a garden ornament, Princess Celestia and Princess Luna, the rulers of Equestria, let me stay with Twilight Sparkle, Celestia's student, since they couldn't send me back home themselves.
Now, here's where things get really weird for me, as if all this wasn't strange enough. It turns out the four subspecies of pony, unicorn, pegasus, earth pony, and alicorn(they have wings and a horn) aren't the only sentient creatures around. In fact, they aren't even the only mythological creatures around. Within a month of my arrival, I had had a minotaur, two griffons, a dragon, and three zebras come to the town I was staying in, Ponyville, for the express purpose of meeting me and finding out about me. But wait, it gets even more bizarre! All of these creatures, no matter what their bodies should have looked like according to the myths of home, had distinctly humanoid bodies, wore various kinds of clothes, and walked on two legs. This was especially apparent when the second griffon showed up, because she was a female.
And she had tits.
Big, round, feathery tits.
I was not prepared for that. I wound up staring right at them, until she decided to comment on it. Fortunately, I managed to avoid any more social blunders like that.
Of course, living in a town of ponies, the question of dietary needs came up rather quickly. Unsurprisingly, the fact that I eat meat was, well, less than pleasant to them. Poor Fluttershy fainted right off the bat when I mentioned it. Most of the townsponies, obviously, weren't exactly thrilled about this, and typically avoided me as much as possible for quite a while. Eventually, though, they all seemed to figure out that I wasn't going to start chopping them up one by one, and I eventually became 'just another neighbor' for most of them.
Then came the day I went to the spa. I had found that most ponies weren't very good at anything beyond their special talent, or associated skills, and there weren't any 'general maintenance'-type ponies in town. Which meant that lots of the ponies had leaky roofs, bad plumbing, creaky floorboards, or various other small problems that basically just fell outside the purview of anyone in town. So, since I didn't want to just live off Twilight's food for the rest of my life, I started my own business to fix these sorts of things, made some money, and bought my own place. Obviously, this sort of work takes a lot of time, effort, and hard work. So, on one particularly rough day, I decided to pay a visit to the local spa, run by the twins Aloe and Lotus. What I didn't realize is that those two have no problems giving certain customers who catch their eye a 'special treatment'. The trip started out as I expected; bath, steam room, massage, but while Aloe was working my back, I suddenly found myself looking at Lotus' naked body in front of me, and before I could fully comprehend what was going on, her mouth was working mine while Aloe's was working my cock. By the end of my visit, I had ejaculated at least three times, and after that, I had the idea of sex with ponies stuck on my mind. So, it wasn't surprising when I actually started noticing that almost every mare in Ponyville acted like they were in a porno while they were alone with me. Up to that point, I had been simply drowning myself in work, trying not to think about the fact that I would probably never go home, and therefore not paying any attention when various mares had tried to come onto me. After the spa, though, I was fully aware of their attempts to get in my pants.
Now, most people would probably think that this sort of thing is disturbing, unnatural, yadda, yadda. But me? I'm all for experimentation of almost any kind. Especially sexual. So, when I was working on fixing the door to Berry Punch's wine cellar, and she asked if I could come over for a 'private tasting' later in the week while bending at the waist and giving me a great view of her cleavage, I had no problem rearranging the few schedule items I had for that night. Obviously, her kid was staying over at a friend's house that night, and we both tasted a lot more than just wine. This happened with a couple other mares, as well, but it was after making Lyra cum so hard she had to use a pillow to muffle the scream that something different happened. I helped clean up the mess, as always, went home, as always, and went to sleep just the same way I always did: laying on my left side with my back to the wall. When I woke up, however, I was laying on my right side, and the wall was much further from me than it should have been. Also, the edge of the bed was significantly further from me than should have been possible, considering that it was out of my reach from where I lay. All this was surprising enough, but the big shocker was when I rolled over, and found myself looking into a pair of big, teal eyes, and pressing against a pair a big, blue-furred breasts, which happened to belong to Princess Luna herself. I already knew she was the Princess of the Night and whatnot, so it didn't surprise me when she told me I was still dreaming. Nor did it surprise me when she revealed that she knew all about my late-night activities with the mares of Ponyville. What did surprise me, however, was the fact that she wanted some action, too. This was unexpected for two reasons: one, she is smoking hot. Celestia may be more well-endowed, but Luna carries herself far better. Two, she had an entire castle filled with, young, strong, most likely exceptionally virile, guards, who already took vows of service to both of them. Her reasoning, however, was more than sound. She is the Princess, after all, so there is always the risk that anypony she might ask to join her would take advantage of that in the political realm, using a one-night-stand to gain leverage over any number of other influential individuals. I, however, had already decided to stay as far away from politics as possible, and she knew it, so the likelihood of me pulling that kind of stunt was already negligibly low. And even if I did, what member of their government would bother doing anything I say? So of course, once all the explanations were out of the way, I had no problem giving Luna everything she could have asked for in a wet dream. And now, it's a regular thing for us.
As time went on, there were various other events that sent the entire town into a frenzy of activity, but that didn't stop me from getting more than my fair share of action. I've even been with three of the Bearers of the Elements of Harmony: Applejack, Fluttershy, and Pinkie Pie. But there's one mare in particular who I've been wanting to pleasure for a while now. One who I owe a great deal to, that I want to repay the best way I know how. In fact, if it weren't for her, I probably would've completely lost my mind within the first week I spent here.
Twilight Sparkle, prepare for the best night of your life.
The Sexiest Man in Equestria
As I left Colgate's dental clinic, which now had clear plumbing for the sinks, I went through my plans for how I would go about repaying Twilight.
Alright, first, I have to remember she might not be interested in me beyond friends. Which means I have to make everything else count. If she wants to go that far, then it'll be her choice. So, we'll make it simple for now. Dinner, dancing, and no bloody emergencies! I was really getting sick of the town being in peril every other day. With all of this in mind, though, I headed home, took a shower, and changed my clothes before heading back out. My first stop was the nicest restaurant in town: Fancy Fields. It was way in the southeast corner, about as far from the town's main square as it could be, but I would deal with that later. Even with its relative distance, it was still within walking distance for me, and I was there in about fifteen minutes. I went in, and headed straight for the reservation desk.
"Hi, I wanted to reserve a table for dinner sometime this week. Do you have anything available for two?" The mare behind the desk was wearing basic business attire, with a button-up white shirt, black vest, and matching black pants, she had yellow fur and a blue mane, and I didn't recognize her, but apparently I had gained a reputation, because she knew who I was.
"Planning on something more than just a one night stand?" She smiled conspiratorially, and I straightened up in surprise.
"Um... Have we met?"
"No, but you aren't easy to mistake, and you've left quite an impression on some of your bedmates. One of whom happens to be a good friend of mine."
"Oh? Good impression or bad?" The sultry expression on her face told me all I needed to know about where this conversation was headed, but the way she bent over the desktop to show me her cleavage made it undoubtable.
"Oh, very good. And although most of our times this week are filled, I think I might be able to make some changes happen to get you one of the open-floor hours." And since I'm trying to make this as nice as possible, I want that reservation. Which means that the only way you'll give me what I want is if I give you what you want.
"And how do I make that happen?" She lidded her eyes and grinned even more.
"Come back in two hours. I have a favor I need someone to take care of." I sighed internally, but kept up my act.
"Alright, what's your name?"
"Lemon Drops."
"Well, Lemon Drops, I'll be back in two hours, then." She waved goodbye, and I headed back home.
What is it with these mares? Every time I talk to one of the guys about it, they don't have a clue what I'm talking about! It's like I have some innate libido-activation ability I can't control! Well, it could be worse. It could make them hate me for no reason, instead. Still, I can't help but feel like a dirtbag, like I'm doing something incredibly amoral and/or illegal. I am so glad I found out about the whole 'herding' thing, or else I would probably act on that feeling. One more thing I owe Twilight for, I suppose. Explaining that my actions are actually normal in this world. Once back in my house, I decided that it would be a good idea to have dinner before my little meeting, considering the stamina that earth ponies have. Unless I was completely wrong about what that mare wanted, I wasn't going to have enough time to do anything more than crawl into bed before I passed out, if that.
I pulled some chicken strips out of the fridge, tossed them in a pan, and set the stove up to cook them. Then I pulled some lettuce and a tomato out, chopped them up, and tossed them in a large bowl. I got an onion, a carrot, and some olives out of one of the cabinets, diced those, and tossed them into the bowl as well. Then I pulled out one of the pairs of salad tongs from my utensil drawer, and mixed up the whole thing. By now, the chicken was starting to sizzle, so I flipped the strips. I got out one of my salad bowls, poured about a third of the salad into it, then put a lid on the big bowl and stuck it back in the fridge for later, grabbing the jug of milk while I was in there. With my milk poured in a glass, and the chicken sizzling excitedly on the stove, I dumped the strips on top of my salad, grabbed a fork, and took my evening meal to my living room to think.
Okay, so the likelihood of this meeting not being sexual is basically zero. But more importantly, she knew about me having sex with other mares. I know Twilight said that it's normal to have multiple partners, and that it's normal to talk to one's friends about it, but that doesn't make me feel any better about it! I'm going to have to stop this. Honestly, I shouldn't have let it start in the first place, but what's done is done. After tonight, I'll have to find a way to explain this to the others I've been seeing. My eyes suddenly went wide with realization. Oh, shit! What about Luna!? Oh, that's not going to be a fun conversation. At least Twilight isn't like that. She's too smart to fall for whatever is making the other mares so horny. I glanced at the clock on the wall as I downed the rest of my milk, and quickly dropped off my dishes in the sink when I noticed that I needed to leave. When I opened the door, though, I nearly ran into the pony standing outside.
"Oh! Hey, Twilight. What's up?" She didn't seem angry about anything, I didn't know of any projects she had going that would require me, and I couldn't hear any distant screams of terror that signaled a disaster occurring, so I honestly had no idea what she might have wanted. As soon as I asked, though, her usual, confident attitude was replaced with a timidness that I had only seen her display when she was really embarrassed about something.
"Um, well, I've been wondering, if maybe, you would, uh, like to go on a date?" She grinned sheepishly at me, and all thoughts vacated my brain, save for one.
NO, TWILIGHT! NOT YOU, TOO! RESIST IT! FIGHT BACK!
Unfortunately, the only sound my mouth was able to produce at that point was:
"Uuuuhhhhh..." She took this as a sign of disinterest, apparently, and started turning around.
"It's alright if you don't want to, of course. I mean, I haven't actually shown any interest before, and you usually have somepony anyway, so if you're not interested, that's completely understand-" She froze as I put up a hand for her to stop, and looked up to me with hopeful eyes.
"It's fine, Twilight. I just wasn't expecting you to ask me that so suddenly. Listen, I have somewhere I need to be right now, but how about I come over to the library tomorrow morning, and we can talk about it then, okay?" She smiled widely and nodded.
"Sure, sounds good! I'll just, um, go ahead and go now. Bye." And with a flash of teleportation, she was gone.
Okay, yeah. Now I just need to figure out how to work the fact that I was already planning what is, essentially, a date, into my answer.... Somehow, I don't think that's going to happen more than five minutes before I go over there.
I jogged over to the Fancy Fields, and saw Lemon Drops standing near the back entrance. She still had on her shirt and pants, but the vest had been removed in favor of a black denim jacket, and the buttons on her shirt had all been undone, except for two near the middle. Obviously, she was trying to look good. She was succeeding, and it was apparent she knew that when she immediately started sashaying toward me.
"Hello, Zephyr. Like what you see?" I smirked.
"Certainly can't say that I don't." She grinned with satisfaction.
"Well, you're here, so I suppose that means you're willing to help me, huh?"
"I still haven't heard what, precisely, this favor is." I just have a really good guess. I kept the second part to myself, though, as she got close enough to hook her arms behind my neck and press her chest against mine.
"Well, I've been having some trouble relaxing lately. And I don't really have the time to go to the spa. So, I was hoping you might be kind enough to come over and assist me." She started tracing circles on my shoulder. I gave her a big, toothy, grin.
"Lead the way." She turned down the street and led me north, swaying her hips more than she needed to, even if she was trying to give me something to look at. I decided I didn't have anything better to do, and while I made sure I looked around enough to find my way back home, I still spent a good portion of the trip watching her ass jiggle with every step, and more importantly, planning what I was going to do to make it jiggle a lot more once we arrived. She did eventually turn into one of the pathways, to a house that looked about standard for Ponyville. Two stories, picket fence, thatch roof, and a bright, happy paint job. Inside, it was equally standard. More bright paint, pictures of friends and family on the walls and shelves, and flowers in vases scattered throughout. I took my shoes off, and Lemon Drops tossed her vest and jacket on the sofa, then looked over her shoulder at me as she started climbing the stairs.
"Up here. I have the perfect spot for this." I followed her up, once again not bothering to really pay attention to anything other than her ass, and into what was obviously her bedroom. The room itself was painted a nice shade of blue that matched her mane and tail color, while the furniture was the same shade of yellow as her fur. She pulled her wallet and keyring out of her pocket and tossed them on the nightstand, then flopped down onto the bed on her front. I followed her in, and closed the door behind me.
"So. What did you have in mind for this?" She hummed and stretched her legs out.
"My legs have been killing me lately. Don't suppose you could massage them for me?"
"Sure." I kneeled on the bed next to her legs, and started kneading down near her hooves with my thumbs. She let out a groan in response.
"Mmmmnnnnn. That feels good."
"Just so you know, I'm not very skilled at this, so let me know if anything actually hurts, alright?"
"Oh, I don't think we'll have any problems tonight."
I decided to keep my mouth shut for a while, and focus on what I was doing, using my kneeling position to get my weight behind my thumbs and knuckles and increase the pressure on any particularly sensitive areas as I worked my way up her legs. As I neared the tops of her thighs, she let out another groan.
"Nnngh. A little higher, please. There's a really sore spot just above where you are." I decided to tease her a bit before I really let loose, and moved my hands as close to her butt as possible without actually touching it.
"Here?"
"No, a little higher." I moved my hands up, past her flanks, which were now visibly quivering with anticipation, to just above her tail.
"Here?" She shook her head.
"Too high." At this point, I was starting to get worked up, too, so I picked up my hands completely, then slapped her ass on both sides and immediately started squeezing them. Not enough to hurt her, but enough to make her jerk her head up and let out a squeak of surprise. I quickly leaned down next to her ear as I started my ministrations again.
"Here?" She nodded breathlessly, her eyes closed as she panted from the sudden, vigorous attention. "Alright." I dug my fingers into her ass as much as her business pants would let me, being the tight-fitting, restrictive kind of material, and began massaging them the best I could. After a minute, though, it became clear that it wasn't enough for either of us. I could tell from the way she squirmed that she wanted more, and I wasn't enjoying my movement being restricted by the fabric. So I decided to do something about it, and ran my fingers along the waist of the pants as I leaned over to her ear again. "Mind if I take these off?"
"Please!" I winced at the sudden volume, and she chuckled a little in embarrassment as I reached around to the button holding her pants on, undid it, and pulled them down just enough to show her entire ass and the orange-colored panties she was wearing. I could hear her breathing quicken, and a glance up confirmed that she was now watching me, her lower lip caught between her teeth. I decided that it was time to start getting serious, and moved to straddle her legs as I returned my hands to her ass. As expected, her flanks were soft and plump, and my fingers nearly disappeared entirely as I squeezed as hard as I safely could. She whined and squirmed some more, but managed to keep from moving her hips away from my hands, instead lifting herself into them. I responded in kind, putting my weight into it as I started oscillating my fingers, like I was drumming them on a tabletop. She moaned into her pillows in response, and we locked eyes for a moment as my instincts started to take over and a predatorial grin spread across my face. She gasped audibly, and her tail started swishing against my chest. She knew I was now in control, and apparently, it turned her on. Of course, by this point I was fully erect, and I began grinding myself against her ass while holding her flanks apart, keeping eye contact with her the entire time as she bit her finger in an attempt to keep herself from moaning. I wasn't about to pull anything else off without making a point of my dominance, though. I lifted my right hand just long enough for her to give me a questioning look, then spanked her hard. She instantly let loose a loud, throaty moan, and covered her mouth with both hands. I wondered what she was so worried about, but decided to leave it for later, instead opting to spank her again, this time with my left hand. She clenched her eyes shut, and even through her hands I could hear her panting.
I think she's ready for me to step it up a bit, now.
I stopped rubbing myself against her, and moved my hands to her waist. I lifted her up a bit, and set her back down on her knees, much to her confusion. She quickly understood my intention, however, when I hooked my forefingers around her panties and started slowly dragging them down. I grabbed her pants along the way, and pulled them down to her knees as well, revealing her puckered anus and glistening pussy. I leaned forward, and gave her slit an experimental lick. She shivered as I ran my tongue against her entrance, and I licked my lips as I pulled away. She was a little sour, actually, but not disagreeably so. I pulled her waist up further, until she had her hooves on the bed and I had to straighten my thighs to stay level with her vagina. I then pulled her pants and underwear the rest of the way off her body, and spread her legs to give me an unobstructed view of her pussy, her head still buried partially in a pillow. I set right to work,hooking my arms underneath her legs to hold her still, and licking at her folds as she whined quietly in pleasure. I gradually increased my force and pace, and soon my tongue had been completely immersed in slightly sour, pink flesh. I moved one hand down her body, and snaked it under her shirt to her breast. She moaned again as I started massaging it through her bra, and I curled my other arm the rest of the way around her leg to squeeze her ass again. Once I had my hands doing something again, I returned my attention to what my tongue was doing. Up to that point, I had simply been sliding it up and down at varying speeds, gently changing the depth to keep it arousing. But I wanted to go home at some point before midnight, so I skipped the buildup and went straight to my full effort. I flattened my tongue, pushing her vagina open further, and started twisting and turning my head as I shoved my tongue in and pulled it back out, lapping up her juices the whole time and occasionally pressing my teeth up against her as I worked. It didn't take long before she was writhing in my grip, and a couple minutes later, she gave a short squeal, and a veritable torrent of pussy juices flowed out of her. I gulped down as much as I could, but she obviously hadn't gotten off in quite a while, and quite a bit coated my chin as it overflowed, making the first stain of the evening on the sheets.
Once she was finally done cumming, I gently lowered her onto the bed and rolled her over onto her back. My own genitals were practically screaming for release, now, and I had no intention of not giving in to that desire. I took off my own pants and shirt, then lowered my boxers to the ground, allowing her to see all nine inches of my dick, now fully erect, standing at attention right above her already-pleasured pussy. I put my arms around her knees again, lowered myself until I was prodding her entrance, and looked up to her face to see her watching with anticipation as my cock throbbed against her.
"Ready?" She gulped and nodded, and I roughly shoved my cock into her as far as it would go. Her mouth opened in a silent scream, and her back arched as her unprepared walls slowly relaxed , allowing me to pull out and do it again. I did it a few more times, until Lemon was panting like a dog, her tongue lolling out of her mouth and her chest heaving as the feeling of my cock inside her still-sensitive pussy filled her consciousness. Once I felt I had gotten her vaginal muscles to stay relaxed sufficiently, I began slowly, gently fucking her. She regained some clarity from this, and let out a higher-pitched moan than before, obviously enjoying her current situation. I picked up the pace, watching her face as she let the sensations wash over her, then watching her breasts as they bounced in her bra and shirt.
Wait a second. Why the hell haven't I taken those off yet?
I decided to remedy the situation as quickly as possible, and once again hilted myself in her, rolling my hips to move cock around inside her as I leaned forward. I undid the two buttons holding her shirt closed without hesitation, and moved them away as I buried my face in her furry mounds. She immediately responded by arching her back again, shoving them harder against me. I reached around to the back of the bra, and after a moment of fiddling, it came undone. I lifted her into a sitting position, and chewed carefully on her collarbone as I removed her remaining clothes. She tilted her head away, giving me better access, and quietly squeaked occasionally as my teeth scraped against her skin. I kept it up for a few more moments, then put her back down and pulled myself out until all that remained inside her was the tip of my penis. I curled my fingers, and trailed my nails against her fur as I sat back up, spread her legs as far as they would go, and gripped the tops of her thighs. I could see the wild look in her eyes, but I wanted to hear her say it.
"You want me to fuck you?"
"Yes!" Her voice was manic and desperate. I don't think I could have gotten out of that room without fucking her, even if I wanted to. "Yes, Zephyr, please! Fuck me! Make me scream! I want your cum inside me!"
That was all the encouragement I needed. I brought myself to full speed in seconds, fucking her so hard I could hear her juices being sprayed as my cock shoved them out, and the bed started creaking and impacting the wall with loud thunk s as she started grabbing her own tits. I moved one hand down to her clitoris and started rubbing it, eliciting more loud, high-pitched moans as her walls started squeezing my cock harder. I knew she would have at least one more ejaculation before we finished, though, so I didn't want to shoot my load just yet. Instead, I waited until I was sure she was past the point of no return, then pulled out and shoved two of my fingers in. I waggled them quickly for a second, and that was enough to make her shriek with pleasure as she came for the second time that night, covering my hand with her fluids. Her entire body slumped as the orgasm faded, and I extricated my fingers, licking them clean of her delicious pussy juice as she watched. Once more, I leaned over her, this time using one of her breasts as a stabilizing point for my hand.
"Ready for the finale?" She nodded weakly.
"Yes... Please, give it to me."
"Roll over." She complied, then spread her legs and raised her ass without prompting, barely lifting her head off the pillow to look back at me as I lined myself up. I took a moment to rub her ass again, then gripped her tightly and pushed myself in as slowly as possible, savoring every centimeter of her that my cock rubbed past on its way in. Once I was fully inside, I moved side to side a bit, pressing my cock against her walls one side at a time as her tail swished against me in pleasure. I pulled out with equal slowness, until the head of my dick caught the outermost lips of her vagina, and then pushed back in. I gradually worked up to a normal pace again, adding a little extra speed at the end of each thrust for emphasis. Once I started to really get moving, and the bed started creaking again, I moved my hand down to resume rubbing at her clitoris again while my other hand moved up to squeeze her breast. Before long, I could feel the signs that I was nearing my climax, and Lemon Drops was now rocking herself back and forth in time with my thrusts to try and shove even more of my cock into her pussy, which I had learned meant that she was about to reach climax as well. I decided to expedite the process, and shifted from rubbing her clit to pinching it. The effect was instant, as shethrew her head back and half-moaned, half-screamed my name. A few more seconds of that, and her pussy clamped down on my dick, preventing me from removing myself as she came. I had no intention of doing so, anyway, though, especially since the extra clenching was enough to finish me off, as well. As her orgasm came to an end, mine started up, and I hilted myself one last time as I emptied my load into her. I waited a few seconds for the pulsing in my cock to cease, and then pulled out with a quiet pop as her pussy tried to keep me inside. She immediately collapsed, a small dribble of cum oozing from her slit onto the bed. I stood up on shaky legs, used a nearby box of tissues to clean myself off, and started putting my clothes back on as she recovered.
"So, was that sufficiently relaxing?" She nodded. "And, those reservations?"
"Two days, seven o'clock, front row. That was the best sex I think I've ever had." I cocked an eyebrow.
"Who have you been fucking?"
"I usually prefer being dominated. Old childhood issues, if my psychologist is to be believed, but I typically don't get that much attention from a male partner."
"That why you were covering your mouth and trying not to make any sound earlier?"
"Yeah. My last partner used it as a sort of game, and I guess I'm still in the habit a little bit."
"Well, I certainly enjoyed this. I guess I'll see you around, Lemon Drops." I turned to leave.
"Oh, trust me. I'll find a way to get you back in here again."
Not if this date with Twilight goes well enough.
The Sexiest Man in Equestria
I woke up slowly, my eyes refusing to focus and my body not wanting to move. I forced myself up anyway, stretching out as various joints let out satisfying pops. I rolled into a sitting position, and looked down at myself.
Didn't even manage to take off my clothes last night. Hot damn.
I yawned and checked the clock. 9:00 AM. Plenty of time to take a shower and change my clothes. Once I was clean again, I decided not to waste any time, and headed straight for the library. I let myself in, it being a public library, and looked around. The place itself was nice enough, with everything being cleaned and reorganized on a weekly basis, but Twilight was nowhere to be seen.
"Twilight?"
"Down here!" Figures she'd be working on something or other.
I made my way down to the basement, where Twilight was standing behind a large metal barricade, with a menagerie of instruments pointed at Spike, who stood on the other side of the room.
"Uh, what are you guys doing?"
"Well," Twilight responded, "remember when Spike went to go see those other dragons to find out the meaning of being a dragon a couple weeks ago?"
"Yeah, what about it?" She fiddled with some control piece I couldn't see.
"Well, while he was down there, I saw him jump face-first into a pool of lava." I snickered as he glared at me.
"Belly-flop king?" He snorted fire at the nickname. His more recent, natural, growth spurts had turned him into a lanky, thin-limbed landwyrm, but that didn't make it any easier for him to use a diving board properly.
"Anyway , I was thinking about it recently, and I wanted to do a couple tests to see how well his scales could effectively protect him. It's all non-lethal, of course, I don't want to actually hurt him, but it's enough to get some accurate results on dragon scale properties." I raised an eyebrow at Spike, silently questioning whether this whole thing was voluntary. He just shrugged.
"Well, I'll go ahead and wait upstairs, then. Let me know when you're done." I went back upstairs, and sat down with one of the educational books on magic. I might not be able to use it, but I like knowing how things work. An hour later, I looked up to see Twilight coming out of the basement with a tired-looking Spike. "You okay, there, big guy."
"I'm going to bed." And go to bed he did, shutting the door behind him. Which left me and Twilight alone. Together.
Yeah, that got awkward fast. After a few more seconds of the two of us sitting near each other, looking at anything else in the room, I finally managed to get something out.
"So, Twilight. About that date?"
"Yeah?" Oh, you don't sound nervous at all. Not like I'm doing much better, here.
"I got us a reservation." She immediately perked up.
"Oh! Really? For where?"
"Fancy Fields." Her eyes went wide as she turned to me.
"How did you get reservations for Fancy Fields? That place is always booked!" I shrugged and looked back at her as I thought of a perfect way to test my earlier theory of something messing with mares' heads when they're around me.
"Got lucky. Someone else cancelled, so they had an open slot. Right place, right time, I guess."
"Well, then. So what time is this for?"
"Tomorrow at seven."
"Okay. See you then, I guess?" I barely contained my reaction at the fact that I had just succeeded in that attempt to keep her from finding out that I had fucked another mare for that table, which went something like this, in about two seconds.
No. No way did I just get away with that. No way did I just prevent quite possibly the smartest unicorn in Equestria from finding out about what happened last night.
"Um, actually, Twilight, there was one other thing I wanted to ask you. Have you been feeling alright lately?" She cocked her head to the side in the most adorable expression a pony could pull off.
"Yeah, why? Has something been going around?" I screamed internally.
Am I hallucinating all this? Or is something actually messing with these ponies' minds?
"It's just that, whenever I hang out with Big Mac, and Time Turner, and the others, and we go out somewhere, all of the forwardness that I usually notice from the mares we meet is completely gone. It's like flipping a switch. Any time I'm alone with a mare, something seems to change. Like right now." She blinked in confusion.
"Now? But, I'm not really doing anything out of the ordinary."
"First of all, your tail has been flicking back and forth with increasing strength since this conversation started." She looked back as it flicked again, and blushed. "Second, I just made one of the worst lies of my life, with one of the flimsiest cover-ups I've ever thought of, and you bought it hook, line, and sinker. That reservation wasn't cancelled by the pony who made it. I fucked the mare with the reservation list to get those seats." I knew it was going to hurt her for me to say that, but the way her entire body, even her mane, just kind of sagged was nearly heartbreaking to me.
"Wha-... When was this?" I sighed and hung my head.
"Last night. That's where I was going when you showed up yesterday. I had already been planning to take you out to dinner, but the mare at the desk had the same look I'd seen before on a couple other mares, too. She wasn't going to give a reservation that was any good without that happening." She pulled her knees up to her chest, and I could see tears starting to form in her eyes.
"So, even after I asked you out on a real date, you went and had sex with her, anyway. Even after I made it clear what I wanted?" I sighed again.
"Yes. Because I felt I needed to. I wanted to give you the best night of your life, and I wasn't going to let some random chick with no self-control stop me." She glared at me.
"So you think having sex with other mares without telling me will accomplish that?"
"No! That's the problem; I want this to stop. Think about what you're feeling right now. Hurt and betrayed, like I'm trying to make you cry, right?" She nodded. "Why? I planned on going over to her house hours before you came over, and we've never done anything even remotely intimate by ourselves. You're a smart mare, Twilight, but I'm fairly sure there's something about me making mares lose their cool when I'm alone with them. Like right now. Come on, you know me. Put that analytical mind of yours to use. Why would I go through all this trouble just to hurt you?" She stared down a t her hooves silently for several seconds before answering.
"You wouldn't." She suddenly started to lose her composure, and tears poured down her cheeks. "You wouldn't." Within moments, she was sobbing like a filly. I immediately moved over to the sofa she was on and wrapped her in a hug.
"No, I wouldn't. And I never will. I promise." She turned toward me, and buried her face in my chest. I lowered my head on top of hers, partially to comfort her and partially to keep from getting impaled on her horn, and started gently petting her mane as she apologized hysterically.
"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!"
"Sshhh, shhh. It's okay. I know. No harm done."
It took a few minutes for her to calm down, but she seemed much more lucid when she did.
"See what I'm talking about now, with the whole 'crazy mare aura' thing?" She chuckled and nodded.
"Yes. I'll need to run some tests to find out what's going on, come up with some possibilities, but that shouldn't take long." She gave a big yawn and the end, and curled up against me slightly.
"You were up all night again, weren't you?" She nodded, her eyes already closed as she laid on my chest. "Alright, then."
I rolled her over so I could get an arm around her shoulders, then hooked my other arm under her knees and lifted her up, then carried her to her bedroom. As I set her down, though, she put an arm behind my head and pulled me down for a kiss.
"I love you, Zephyr," she muttered as she pulled away. I thought about that for a moment. I thought about everything I knew about her. Everything I had ever seen her do. And then I realized something.
"I love you, too, Twilight."
The Sexiest Man in Equestria
"Thanks again for helping me with this, you guys." Derpy waved it off like it was nothing.
"Oh, don't worry about it. We're friends, right? Friends help each other. Like all those times you helped Time Turner when he couldn't figure out how to get my attention." Said stallion looked back at us from the rack of clothes he was rifling through, making sure there wasn't a better vest I could wear.
"Hey! We agreed not to talk about that sort of thing in public, Derpy!" She grinned and stuck her tongue out at him as one eye rolled to look at the ceiling.
"There were plenty of times he helped out when it wasn't private, too, you know."
"I know that, but there have been plenty of times that were. I just don't want ponies thinking we're a herd, or something." I chuckled.
"Still put off by that, are you?"
"It just bothers me. I don't know why." Derpy interrupted herself in cleaning my tux to hug her coltfriend and give him a kiss.
"It's fine, hun. I still love you, and you can get my attention on your own, later tonight." The brown-furred stallion blushed heavily, and I nearly lost it as Derpy giggled at him.
"Relax, Timmy. I might be bi, but you two are far too adorable together for me to want to muck it up. Besides, I'm going on a date with Twilight, so most folks are going to assume that even if I was with you, I left to do my own thing. And it's not like we do anything the least bit romantic whatsoever when we're hanging out." He fidgeted with his hands nervously.
"It still feels weird to think about." I chuckled again and held still while Derpy finished using a lint roller to clean me off. I had twenty minutes before I needed to pick up Twilight, and I wanted to at least make an attempt at looking good for our first date. Especially since it was at Fancy Fields. I turned around as I looked at myself in the mirror, checking every angle I could when Rarity came in.
"Oh, magnificent, darling! I knew I could do something impressive with you, but this exceeds expectations. Everything fit alright? Not too restrictive in the legs, is it?" I shook my head.
"Nope. Feels just like my old wedding tux. Fits a little better, honestly, but that's to be expected when you actually get your measurements taken."
"Excellent. I'm surprised at how well it works for you, considering your skin's relatively odd coloration. I'm used to working with a wider range of coat and mane colors, so I was worried about that." I smiled in amusement as I went over to a hat rack and started trying them on.
"Rarity, if there is one thing I know, with my limited experience in the world of fashion, it is that everyone looks good in black." I tried on a top hat, and after studying my reflection for a moment, turned around. "What do you guys think? Too much?" All three of them nodded with grimaces. I put it back in its place and continued searching. Unfortunately, the same cannot be said for top hats. Some people just can't wear that much fanciness with adequate skill. Like me. I found a black fedora on the other side, however, and after looking in the mirror and deciding I liked it, I turned around to receive approving nods. I stepped down from the evaluation podium, and grabbed my bag of bits out of the pants I had worn on my way over. "So, how much do I owe you, Rarity?"
"Not a thing, dear. Twilight's been talking about wanting to do this for almost a month, now. If making a tux for you means finally getting her into a relationship, then I'm not going to make you pay for what is essentially a favor for a favor. That mare needs a male in her life, and if she chose you, well then, you're helping me out, too." I cocked an eyebrow as we exited the dressing room. I moved my personal effects from my street clothes to my tux as we talked.
"How so?"
"Because she'll stop talking about what she wants to have her sex partner do to her, and start talking about what her partner actually does to her. Fantasies are fine, but not particularly healthy when one begins to obsess over them. Which is what's been starting to happen, ever since Applejack and Pinkie Pie decided to share their thoughts with us on your sexual prowess." I blushed despite myself. "Anyway, good luck tonight! I hope it goes well!"
"Thanks, Rarity!" I waved goodbye as I left, Time Turner and Derpy right behind me. "You sure you don't mind taking my other stuff home for me?" Time Turner shrugged.
"It's not like there's a lot here. Besides, you have a timetable to keep. You know Twilight will start freaking out if you show up more than thirty seconds late. Get going, enjoy your evening. Tomorrow's Saturday, anyway, so it's not like you have any jobs to take care of."
"Alright, thanks again, guys. See you later." And with that, I made the short walk over to the library on my own. As I walked, I went over my plans.
Alright, so we'll go to dinner, and we'll dance for a couple songs while we're there. After that, find out if she wants to go anywhere for dessert. Already got the carriage rides to and from, so I don't have to worry about that. I got my coin purse, so I can actually pay... I feel like I'm forgetting something, though... What am I...- Flowers! Duh! I made a quick detour to the flower sisters' shop, and bought a half-dozen roses. With the final piece in hand, I resumed my trip to the library. Upon arrival, I took a second to readjust my suit, making sure everything was tightened properly and as straight as I could get it. I knocked on the door, and noticed the carriage I hired for the evening coming around the corner a couple blocks away as Twilight's voice came from the other side.
"Coming!"
Don't make the joke, Zephyr. Don't make it, don't make the joke... Grrnngh!
Any further thoughts of any kind were swept away as the door opened to show Twilight standing there. She was wearing a purple knee-length dress, just a shade off from her own fur color, with dark blue ankle-high socks and purple hoof-shoes. Her hair had been pulled back into a tight bun, and she was wearing just enough makeup to accentuate her features. The dress itself hugged her body snugly, showing off the curves of her hips, with just enough cleavage to excite my imagination.
"You look... gorgeous." She blushed.
"Um, thanks. You look pretty good, too." I shifted my hand, and I suddenly remembered that I had flowers for her.
"Oh, these are for you." I (rather clumsily) offered them to her, and she took them.
"Thank you! They look delicious!" Never going to get used to that. "Give me just a second, so I can put them in a vase." She went back inside, and I turned around as the carriage pulled up. The driver gave me a questioning look.
"You're dressed up pretty fancy. You going on a date?"
"Yeah, why?"
"With Twilight Sparkle?"
"Uh-huh."
"You know her older brother is Captain of the Royal Guard, right?"
"I'm aware." He shrugged.
"As long as you know what you're in for." I rolled my eyes and returned my attention to my date as she came back.
"Shall we be off, my dear?" I bent my elbow and offered it to her as she giggled.
"Yes, thank you." She looped her arm around mine, and I led her from the door to the carriage and opened the door for her. I followed her in, and the driver started off. The ride was short, and we stepped out a few minutes later in front of Fancy Fields. We went in, and I saw Lemon Drops standing at the reservation table again. Her eyes lit up as soon as she saw me, and I decided to keep myself as professional as possible, ignoring any moves she might try to make on me.
"Hello, welcome to Fancy Fields."
"I have a reservation for seven o'clock. Arvrkar." She checked her list, grinning mischievously the whole time like there was an inside joke taking place.
"Yes, here it is. Follow me, and I'll show you to your table." She pulled a pair of menus out from her desk, and led us out to the seats next to the dance floor, once again swaying her hips more than she should have. I kept my gaze firmly on the back of her head, though, out of respect for the fact that I was on an actual date. And with a much more attractive mare, to boot. The band was already playing, but there were only a few couples dancing on the floor when we arrived. Once at the actual table, I decided to use what little knowledge I had of being a gentleman, and pulled out Twilight's chair for her before sitting down myself. Once we had our menus, Lemon Drops left, and we were left in somewhat awkward silence. I picked out a relatviely plain salad quickly, and I took a few moments to figure out what the hell I was going to do for small talk. Long before I was ready, though, she put down her menu. Fortunately, that extra burst of panic was enough to give me an idea.
"So, how have you been lately, anyway? I don't think we've hung out for a while, now. You been up to anything other than the town emergencies lately?"
"Yes, actually. I've been working on a new potion that will let non-unicorns teleport on their own. I haven't quite got it down, yet, though. Pinkie's been helping me test it. Last time, it turned her into a white pegasus for an hour."
"Well that's not right." She sighed.
"No, it's not. I'm not even sure what I'm doing wrong. I've gone over the formulae time and time again, but the potion itself just doesn't want to work."
"Well, if nothing else, you now have a potion that can turn earth ponies into pegasi." She suddenly perked up in surprise.
"Oh my gosh, you're right! I didn't even think of it like that!"
"You just thought of it as another failure, didn't you?"
"Um, well... yeah."
"Twilight, I've said it before, I'll say it again: You are way too hard on yourself." I sighed. From the day we met, I had seen her do some amazing things, from facing down Discord to helping Luna fit in with modern society better. And yet somehow, she managed to make herself completely miserable at the slightest little mistake. To be fair, it kept her from getting a big head, but she needed to learn how to see the silver lining.
"I know, I know." Her sudden speech and drooped eyes and ears snapped me from my thoughts. "It's just... so frustrating, when all the math checks out, all the formulae line up, and all the paperwork says that 'x' plus 'y' equals 'z', and then I try to do it in the lab, and 'x' plus 'y' ends up equating to 'random other output'. It's like trying to tame an Ursa." She planted her head on her fists, and I knew I needed to turn this conversation around quick. Improv skills, don't fail me now!
"Twilight, I have a question for you." She looked up sadly.
"Hmm?"
"How long have you been Celestia's student?" She cocked an eyebrow in surprise, then made a face as she did the math in her head.
"Um, a little over ten years, why?"
"How many times has Celestia said the words; 'you failed' to you without the words 'did not' between them?" She resumed her thinking face for a moment, but we were interrupted by the waiter. We gave him our orders, and he left us alone, allowing Twilight to continue thinking about the answer to my question. After almost a full minute, she finally spoke.
"Once, that I can remember. I wanted to learn how to cook, and I somehow set half the kitchen on fire."
"What were you making?"
"An omelette." Her ability to weaponize cooking utensils suddenly became frighteningly high, but I reminded myself of the point of this line of questioning, and moved on.
"So, aside from that, you haven't failed a single assignment. Correct?" She nodded. "So what makes you think you'll fail this time?" She opened her mouth to respond, then shut it again and looked down at her lap when she realized she didn't have an answer to that. I could practically hear the gears turning in her head as her own steadfastness suddenly became readily apparent to her. She looked back at me with a smile.
"You're right, Zephyr. I won't fail. I'll keep trying until I get it right!" I chuckled.
"That's the spirit. I keep telling you, Twilight, you're smarter than you let yourself think. And I think that's our food coming over now." As a matter of fact, it was. Two huge (for me, anyway) salads were deposited on the table, and we started eating immediately. The conversation moved to more mundane topics, what my latest jobs were, what books the library had gotten in, etc. Eventually, though, the band started up a song I actually knew, and I decided to make something happen. I stood up, moved next to Twilight, and offered her my hand with a little half-bow.
"May I have this dance, my dear?" She smiled in slight amusement and nodded.
"Of course." She took my hand, and we moved onto the dance floor as the main waltz of the song began. Her steps were somewhat uncertain at first, but I had taken actual lessons when I was in high school, and I had gotten enough practice after being brought here that I could lead the dance rather effectively. I was enjoying myself quite thoroughly, not really paying attention to anything other than Twilight's eyes as we spun, sparing just enough awareness to not hit anyone, or anything. Eventually, though, her gaze flicked away, and she huddled closer to me, like she was trying to hide.
"What's wrong?" I whispered under my breath.
"Everypony's watching us." I took a quick glance around, and sure enough, almost every pair of eyes in the restaurant was focused squarely on us.
"So? Let them stare. All it means is that they think we're worth watching. It's not like they're going to do anything to us. Don't worry about it." I held her a little tighter, and she relaxed a bit at what little safety the gesture meant. Eventually, the song ended, and we went back to our table, along with the other two or three couples that had been dancing. And while the staring didn't follow us back to the table, I could tell that it had really gotten under Twilight's skin. She couldn't stop fidgeting, and I knew there was something else bugging her. So, when the waiter came back to find out if we wanted dessert, I did the best thing I could think of.
"Twilight, do you want to stay?" She tried to force a smile, but her ears betrayed her desire to run out as fast as she could. She had them flat against her skull, twitching occasionally in what seemed to be fear, if her quickened breathing was any indication.
"We can if you want, Zephyr, I don't mind." I shook my head.
"Nah. I'm still pretty full from the salad. I'll just take the check, thanks." He returned a few seconds later with what I owed, and I wrote him a check of my own, instead of counting out all the bits. Once that was done, Twilight and I headed back out to the carriage, and headed back to the library.
Author's Note
That reference was too easy.
Also, this would have come out a lot sooner, but I lost about a thousand words when the site went down. I couldn't remember what I had initially put down, so it's not as good as I would have liked, either. That said, I hope you all enjoy it anyway.
The Sexiest Man in Equestria
As we got out of the carriage, I noticed one of the more readily apparent signs of sexual attraction in ponies: Twilight's tail was swishing back and forth involuntarily. I waved to the carriage driver, and he tipped his cap before heading off. As I expected, Twilight invited me in, and set her purse on the table before abruptly turning to face me.
"Would you like something to drink?" She had on a huge fake smile, and her body had gone rigid. I was going to have to be careful about how this went down.
"Sure. Just some water, please." She quickly rushed to the kitchen, and I sat down with a sigh on the couch.
Okay, so, this is turning out exactly how I thought it would. I need to make sure that she actually wants me, though, especially after the episode she had yesterday when she found out about me having sex with Lemon Drops. She came back in with two glasses, and handed one of them to me before sitting down next to me. I drank half the glass in one shot, and set it down on the table.
"Twilight." She snapped her attention to me. "We're both adults, here, I think we both know how this night is going to end, right?" She nodded nervously. "Alright, then. Before we go any further with this, I want you to be sure. I know it may feel like you're in love with me, but I refuse to do something that either of us will regret for the rest of our lives, especially now that I know something had been affecting the hormones of every mare I meet. So I need you to really think hard on this one: Are you certain you want this?" She seemed confused for a moment, but then moved her gaze to the floor as she considered what I was saying. Honestly, though, I wasn't going to just go by her words. If she sounded even the least bit unsure of this, I was going to back out. Screw Shining Armor's reaction to any of it, I wasn't about to possibly ruin the life of someone I had come to genuinely respect so much just because I had some weird power of horniness. If I was going to fuck Twilight Sparkle, it was going to be 100%, unaltered, consensual. Not a big change from my normal standards, but certainly more strict. Finally, she took a deep breath and sighed, signaling her conclusion as she turned back to me.
"I'm sure." I raised an eyebrow. "Ever since you came here, you've been nothing, if not a good friend. The first thing we did when you got here was try to use the Elements on you, and even after that, you were still willing to give us a chance, even though I've met several ponies who wouldn't. Since then, you've been a great friend, both to us and to the rest of the town, even after the whole 'celebrity' thing where you went all over the place and hung out with ponies whose names are as well-known as the Princesses'. You still treated everypony here the same as before. The same way you treat anyone you meet. With kindness and respect, as an equal. And every time we spend time together, I find myself wondering what it would be like to live with you. To go to bed with you every night and wake up with you every morning. To just... be with you, kind of like we are now." My gaze had shifted to the half-finished glass of water, my eyes relaxing since they weren't needed, and I turned back to Twilight to find her several inches closer than before. "I want this. I want to be with you, and I want you to be with me. I love you, Zephyr. And right now, all I want is to express that fact as much as possible." I chuckled at her fervor and smiled.
"Right now? Or do you want to go upstairs first?"
She paused, then shoved her lips against mine, kissing me with barely-restrained eagerness as I leaned back and repositioned my legs under hers. I pushed back, and she immediately reciprocated, forcing me to keep up as her mouth pressed into mine, like she was trying to fuse us together. I wrapped my arms around her waist, and pulled her against me. I could feel her chest move as she gasped for air whenever she could, and it was impossible for me not to notice how hard her nipples were as she began rubbing herself against me. I rolled, pushing myself up while simultaneously moving her down, until I was on top of her. Finally, I broke off the kiss, holding her shoulder down as she tried to follow me up.
"Relax a second, Twi. First, I need to get myself up. And the best way for me to do that, is to do this."
I moved my hand down to her breast, and she sighed as I started massaging it, leaning her head back and giving me room to kiss at her neck. She put her hands on the back of my neck, and I moved my other hand to her flank. I felt her legs move around under me as I kneaded her cutie mark, slowly lifting her dress upward with my fingers as I did. Finally, the edge of the fabric was out of the way, and she gasped as my hand touched her fur. I moved my first hand down as well, and started pulling her dress upward. She lifted her arms as I got to her navel, and I pulled it off entirely, dropping the dress on the floor next to the couch as I drank in the sight of her in black lace underwear. Quickly enough, though, I returned my hands to her cutie mark and breast, and resumed kissing her. I pressed my tongue up against her lips, and she opened them, allowing me entrance. Her tongue was significantly longer than mine, due to her muzzle, but mine was more agile. I flicked at her tongue first, then dodged her retaliation before pinning her tongue against her teeth with my own and exploring its length. She shuddered under me, and arched her back as she wrapped her arms around my neck, holding my mouth more tightly against hers. Suddenly, she let go and tapped my shoulder. I broke off, and looked down at her curiously.
"It just occurred to me: why am I already half-naked when you still have on your full suit?"
"Because I have more experience at getting my partner's clothes off." I grinned smugly.
She narrowed her eyes, and her horn lit. Before I could process what was going on, I felt her magic tingle against my skin, and envelop my clothing. Suddenly, I found myself in nothing but my boxers, and Twilight was grinning satisfactorily. I chuckled.
"Oh, so that's how it's going to be, is it? Well, then, I was going to save this part for later, but...."
I slid my hand under her bra, and shoved it off of her breasts. Before she knew what to expect, I dove down and started sucking on her nipple. She moaned with pleasure, and I felt her hands move behind my head and neck to encourage me. I rolled my tongue around the nub, feeling her squirm beneath me. I started grinding my dick against her, and she matched my pace with her own thrusts. I dragged my tongue against her nipple one last time, and moved back up to kiss her. She eagerly responded by shoving her own tongue back into my mouth. We laid there making out for what must have been at least a full minute. I took the opportunity to start exploring her body with my hands, feeling her soft fur brush through my fingers as I kneaded her breasts and flanks, massaged her sides, and stroked her thighs. Finally, we pulled away from each other, panting.
"You ready to really get started, Twilight?"
"Absolutely. But, I want to start on you first."
I cocked an eyebrow curiously.
"What do you mean?"
She blushed and looked to one side, then mumbled something incoherently. I grinned, half in amusement, half in understanding, and laid back down on top of her, settling my head so I could speak directly into her ear.
"Twilight, it's okay. Just tell me what you want. I promise it'll be fine." I continued running my hands along her body in an attempt to comfort her. She looked back, and swallowed before speaking.
"I, uh.... I'd like to try giving you a blowjob, if that's alright."
"Haha! Of course it's alright!" I gave her a guick peck. "That is one thing you never need my permission for, okay?"
She nodded, and I sat up, pulling her with me as I lowered myself onto my back, repositioning her on top of me. I kissed her again for reassurance, and relaxed.
"Go ahead, Twilight."
She nodded nervously, and moved down so her head was over my groin. She pulled my boxers down, and my dick sprang up in greeting, finally free from its constraints. She stared at it for a second, obviously surprised at its appearance. I didn't blame her, though. Most of my partners had been taken off-guard. Apparently, no other species in Equestria had a dick of a similar shape. Finally, she grabbed my cock, right at the base, and pointed it straight up. She made a couple of false starts, bobbing her head down and then pulling back, suddenly unsure.
"Would you like me to guide you?"
She blushed and froze for a second. I could see her breathing rate start to increase, and I could feel her shaking. She was starting to have a panic attack. Thinking quickly, I took her hand off my dick, and wrapped one arm around her shoulders. I pulled her close, and laid her on top of me again. Her shivering increased, and I could feel tears against my chest.
"Hey, hey... Sshhhhh. It's alright. You're okay. Just relax...."
Her shaking calmed, but her eyes were still wet when she looked back up at me.
"I'm sorry. I read a book yesterday about what's expected during the first time in sex, and it said to start with that, but all the instructions were for a pony, and I didn't think about that, and now I don't know what to do, and-"
I put a finger on her lips, and she looked at me again.
"Twilight, it's okay. I understand. But maybe we should wait a bit, if you're not sure about this."
She shook her head rapidly.
"No, no! I really want this, I just... I don't know what to do...."
I pulled her close, and ran a hand through her mane.
"It's fine, Twilight. I honestly didn't expect you to. You want me to help you?"
She dipped her head slightly in thought for a moment, then nodded.
"Yeah, I think that would help."
I lifted her back up, and repositioned her over my crotch again.
"Well, I lost my erection over that, so you're going to have to start from scratch. Go ahead and grab it like you did before, first."
She did as instructed, and I rubbed her arm encouragingly.
"Now, just slide your hand up and down, slowly. Jerking at full speed won't make it happen faster, so there's no point."
She nodded, and I leaned back slightly as I felt her fur brush gently against my dick. Once I was hard again, I let her continue and get herself comfortable. Once she was sure what she was doing, she began shifting her speed, alternating between fast and slow while I reveled in the feeling of her fingers wrapped around my member. Finally, I brought myself out of my pleasure-induced trance.
"You ready to start for real, Twilight?"
She nodded.
"Alright. The key here is to not use your teeth. There was one mare I met early on who said she thought of it like drinking through a straw, so that might work."
She nodded, and let out a shuddering breath.
"Don't worry, Twi. If you do something wrong, I'll stop you and tell you what you did. Just think of it as a learning experience."
She took a couple more breaths as she wrapped her head around the idea, and I saw her tail swish as she nodded. Apparently, she found the notion arousing. She bent down, and set my dick on her tongue before closing her lips around the head. Her mouth was incredibly warm, and every time she exhaled, she let just enough through her mouth for me to feel it. I set one hand on the side of her head, next to her ear.
"Okay, Twilight, whenever you're ready, just move like you did with your hand."
She nodded, and slowly began sliding her head forward. Every inch of her tongue was smooth, letting my dick rub against it without resistance. Finally, I felt her lips at the base of my dick, and my tip barely brushed the back of her throat, making her gag just a little. She pulled back just as slowly, and I had to control my breathing and force myself to relax in order to not blow my load right then and there. Halfway down, she started gently sucking on me, and after what felt like minutes, she finally pulled off with a small pop. I panted and smiled at her.
"You sure this is your first time? I've met experienced mares who couldn't do that."
She blushed.
"Um, well, I, uh... I practice... on, you know... dildos."
My smile got bigger.
"Well, then, have at it. Now I'm curious to see what you can do."
She nodded, and once more engulfed my dick. This time, though, she started off by twisting her head side to side, sucking gently at the tip as she wrapped her tongue around as far as it could reach with each twist. I returned my hand to its previous position, and scratched her gently behind her ear. She hummed, and the vibration sent spikes of pleasure through my dick. She stopped twisting, and dipped her head down my shaft, then tilted up and slurped at the entire length as she pulled back.
"Ho-oh-oh-oh, yeah, Twilight. That's good."
I was panting again already, but that little expression of pleasure was apparently enough to give her the confidence she needed. Her pace increased immediately, and I could feel her tongue wrapping and licking at my shaft. I had gotten blowjobs before, certainly, but Twilight's need to study everything before taking part in an activity was paying off for her. It didn't take long before I was ready. I gripped her head, and she sped up.
"I'm about to cum, Twilight!"
She slammed her head down as far as it would go, and my dick hit the back of her throat as she ran her tongue up and down the length of my shaft. My back arched in an instinctual attempt to push further in, and I came. She pressed her mouth harder into my crotch, and I could feel the muscles of her throat moving as she swallowed everything. Finally, I relaxed, and she pulled back, squeezing my dick as she went to get the last few drops out. I panted as she licked the tip of my cock, and rubbed her head affectionately.
"Heh... That was probably one of the best blowjobs I've gotten, Twilight. You didn't even bite down accidentally. You sure you've never done this before?"
She kept stroking my deflating dick as she blushed.
"No, I haven't. I guess I'm just good at it?"
"I'll say. C'mere."
I pulled her up, and kissed her lovingly. There was still a slight aftertaste of semen, but I didn't care. I wasn't about to let this mare even begin to think I didn't appreciate her effort. My hand found its way back to her breast, and she moaned as I started massaging her again. Eventually, I pulled back to see her reactions to my ministrations. I moved my other hand down between her legs, and started rubbing her pussy through her panties while I suckled on her other tit. She immediately started panting, and I could feel how wet she was through her underwear. She started rubbing her body against me, and the sensation of her fur against my bare skin was enough to start making me hard again. A thought occurred to me, and I pulled myself away from her breast for a moment.
"By the way, Twilight, what did you mean when you said, 'what's expected during the first time'?"
I moved my hands to her sides to let her concentrate, and she took a couple of breaths to collect her thoughts.
"Well, usually during a first time having sex, the mare is expected to please the stallion, to prove she's worth adding to the herd."
"Herd?"
She blinked at me in surprise.
"Yeah. Usually one or two stallions with several mares. Is that... not okay?"
I smiled.
"It's fine, Twilight. I just haven't spent any time really thinking about relationships here. But that can wait. I think we're both ready to do what we came here to do, right?"
She nodded, and I rolled her over again, putting myself back on top. I kissed her again, then started moving down along her body. I dragged my lips along her fur, inhaling her scent and planting small kisses down her chest and stomach, while my hands gently kneaded her sides. She put her hands on my shoulders, and I could hear her sighing in pleasure. Finally, I reached her panties, and my hands slipped under the waistband as my mouth continued down. I decided I wanted to keep this part short, though, so I removed her panties quickly and began licking at her entrance immediately. She tasted somewhat like grapes, but I figured we both wanted to get down to business sooner rather than later. I moved back up to look her in eyes again, and gave her another kiss. I pulled away, and lined my dick up against her pussy.
"You ready, Twilight?"
"Y-yes. Just... go slow, okay?"
"No problem."
I started pushing myself in slowly, and her entrance opened easily as I rolled my hips forward. One thing I had learned early on was that stallions had a flat head on their dicks, so the mares' vaginas had developed to accommodate it. My dick had a pointed head, though, which made it ridiculously easy for me to penetrate. Twilight sighed as I slid in, and I kissed her again as I hilted myself. I held there for a few seconds, letting her get used to my presence, before slowly sliding back out to the tip. I broke the kiss so we could breathe, and Twilight wrapped her arms over my shoulders. I began building up speed, taking my time so as to not hurt her accidentally. As I got up to a steady rhythm, Twilight started panting and whimpering, occasionally pulling me down for another kiss. Eventually, I got to a point where she was barely able to hold onto me. I could feel her muscles tensing, and her face was scrunched up in pleasure as I felt my own climax approaching.
"Twilight... Ngh... I'm going to cum soon...."
"Haah... haah... Me too. Do it inside, Zephyr. I want it all."
She didn't have to wait long, as I quickly felt my balls throb with a final warning. I thrusted a few more times, then buried myself as my cock pulsed and injected my seed into her pussy, which quickly responded with her climax. Her walls clenched around my member, extending my ejaculation as much as possible before I finally ran out of semen. I barely managed to keep myself from collapsing on top of her, and she pulled herself up for one last kiss as my cock softened and slid out of her. We stayed there for several seconds, catching our breath, before she spoke.
"That... was... fantastic. No wonder you're so popular, huh?"
"Heh heh... Yeah, well, for your first time, you did pretty damn well, too. It's been a while since I had an ejaculation that intense. We should probably head upstairs to go to sleep, though, huh?"
She nodded, and I helped her up to her bed, where we both flopped down before I pulled the sheets over us. Twilight curled up against my chest, moaning with contentedness and exhaustion, and I wrapped my arms around her as my concsiousness began to fade.
"I love you, Zephyr."
"I love you, too, Twilight."
Author's Note
Well, my libido finally came back in a way that I could finish this. I have a lot of fetishes, so it's a bit of a roulette spin as to what turns me on on any given day. Add to that the fact that my sex drive has a tendency to just turn off for a couple of weeks every once in a while, and you can see why I hadn't finished this. I did do quite a bit of planning for later, though, so hopefully the next chapter won't take so stupidly long to get out.
Also, yes, I have changed the description on this story, because my brain asks too many questions and I wound up making an entire story out of what was supposed to just be a series of sex scenes. Apologies to those who really wanted just the sex scenes, but I will be putting as much effort as possible into making as much clop material as I can in any given situation.
I think that's everything, for now....
I hope that's everything for now....
The Sexiest Man in Equestria
Reputations, Repercussions
I chewed on a chocolate muffin, eyes closed, as the smell of fresh-baked goods filled my kitchen. I washed down the mouthful of chocolatey deliciousness with some orange juice, and considered the small basket of the things Derpy had brought to my house that morning.
It had been two days since forming a pack with Twilight and Luna, and I had decided that both of them should have accommodations ready at my house if the need arose. Unfortunately, between my job appointments and reconstructing my bed, I hadn't had time to go shopping. In a town where almost all the food is perishable, shopping is a near-daily trip, so it didn't surprise me to find out that I didn't have anything for dinner the previous night and had to go out for food. Derpy and Time Turner happened to see me at one of the smaller restaurants, and upon finding out about my predicament, said pegasus had promised to bring muffins so I would have something somewhat substantial for breakfast.
And bring muffins, she did! A dozen of the delicious little bastards, delivered to my door along with my mail. There were times when that mare could honestly be too nice for her own good. That was part of my reasoning for getting her with Time Turner: Neither of them would make a move to defend themselves if they could avoid it, but I was able to tell the first time I saw each of them that they would both put their lives on the line for a loved one. So of course, when Timmy, as I like to call him, asked me to help him get with her, I didn't hesitate, and although I joined them on multiple occasions, I never had any intention of being a permanent part of their relationship. As long as they had each other around, they could deal with most problems themselves.
Although... I thought to myself as I continued eating, They could use a unicorn. Hmmm.... I remember Colgate saying something about wanting a more stable relationship. Even better, she has a talent for time magic, so she and Timmy would probably get along well. But what about Derpy? Can't have her feeling inferior. She already gets that enough as it is. I guess I'll just have to talk to Timmy about it. I can't have him freaking out over every little thing, though, even if he does agree to it. Maybe Zecora has something that could help? Probably. I should have enough time to make it out there and back after I go to Berry's. I just hope it's not too bad. The last time one of her barrel spigots started leaking, it took me over two hours to get it all apart, fix it, and put it back together. I scarfed down what little remained of my muffin, and chugged my juice to get it all down properly. Once my dishes were rinsed and in the sink, I grabbed my shades and tool bag, and headed out to my first stop for the morning, Sweet Apple Acres. Once again, the roof of the barn had gotten a leak. A couple of slats had rotted away, and needed to be replaced. Not a tough job, but dangerous, and therefore slow for safety needs. I readjusted my bag in my hand, and picked up my pace, hoping to cut the time as short as possible by decreasing travel time.
--
When I got there, I saw Applejack and Big Mac outside, apparently arguing about something. Big Mac noticed me first, since he was facing me, and his eyes went wide with fear. Applejack seemed to notice this, however, and spun around. Upon seeing me, she began stomping forward, looking and sounding rather cross.
"You two-timing, no-good, dirty Timberwolf!"
Ooh, she's pulling out the 'Timberwolf' insult. She is pissed.
"Just what in the hay is this all about, huh?!"
She shoved a newspaper into my face, too close for me to read it. I took hold of it, and my eyes focused on it properly.
"WHAT THE FUCK?!"
At the top, the title read "Foal Free Press". Right in the center of the page, was a picture of Twilight and me kissing, with the headline "Love Behind the Curtain". What followed was an entire article of how we had been seeing each other for the entire time I had been here behind the backs of every other mare I had been with. By the time I finished reading the article, I had nearly ripped the paper apart clenching my fists. I looked up to see Applejack staring at me expectantly, hands on her hips.
"Well?"
I scowled.
"Lies, mostly. Twilight and I only got together two days ago. She said she wanted to be the one to tell all of you. This, though...." I crushed the paper in my hand. "This is a complete violation of both our privacy." I unfolded enough of the paper to check the author name. "And it looks like the ones responsible don't want credit. 'Gabby Gums' is obviously an alias. How long has this been going on?"
Applejack sighed, apparently satisfied that I was being honest.
"Close to a week, now. There's been some other private stuff in there too, but most of it was true, at least, so I kind of assumed-"
I cut her off with a hug, and she relaxed, knowing I wasn't mad at her. I pulled back, still unhappy, but at least now able to do my job as I passed her.
"Come on, Big Mac," I called, "Show me where the problem is."
--
Fixing the roof, as it turned out, was the easy part of my day. By the time I made it to Berry's house to fix the wine barrel, I had been harangued by no less than six mares, most of whom had been actively looking for me. After explaining myself, they had been less likely to hurt me, but obviously still unhappy. I knocked on Berry Punch's door, hoping her last name wasn't going to be appropriate for today. She opened the door a moment later, and slumped against the frame, wine bottle in hand.
"Oh,he-hic-ello, Zzzephyr. Glad ta see you're not-hic-not staying inside. Saw the paper this mornin', got worried ya wou-hic-wouldn't be comin' by."
She upturned the bottle for another drink, then pulled it away and stared at the opening for a second before deciding it really was empty and putting it on a side table.
"So, you're not mad, too?"
She shook her head drunkenly, mane flopping about as she did.
"Nah. You know how my brain works better once I start drinkin'. I figured, 'Zzephyr's too nice for summin' like that. Gotta be ano-hic-another 'splanation.' Am I right?"
"Yeah. I don't know how they got that picture, but Twilight and I just got together two days ago."
Berry smiled as one ear decided it had had enough of standing up straight and fell to the side of her head.
"'S good ta hear. She needed someone who could fuck her properly. And you ain't gotta-hic- ain't gotta worry 'bout kids, neither. Ya can give her what she needs when she-hic- when she's gotta have some. 'Nuff about that, though. I still need my spigot fixed." She snorted at what I guessed was a sexual analogy she thought of. "You're gonna have ta help me there, though. My brain works fine, but my body...-hic- Not so much."
"I can see that."
I hooked one of her arms over my shoulders, and followed her directions to her back yard, where the wine barrel sat upright next to a tree.
"I figured ya might like ta see what you're workin' on, so I brought it up here."
"Thanks, Berry. This shouldn't take too long, so how about you just sit back so you can sober up a bit and walk again, okay?"
"Mmkay. I'll just... take a little nap... Zzzzzzz."
With Berry asleep, I got to work on the barrel. After taking it apart, I found that the valve on the spigot had rusted slightly, creating a breach in the seal when it was closed. Replacing the valve was quick, and I left some medicine and a glass of water where Berry would find them, along with a note about the problem and how much she owed me.
On my way back through town, I had several mares I recognized begin to approach me like they had something to say, but a quick scowl and bared teeth sent each of them away before they could say anything. I dropped off my bag at my house, and made my way to Twilight's. the sign was turned to 'closed', but I let myself in anyway. I could hear crying from upstairs, and someone was moving around in the kitchen. It didn't take a genius to figure out which of the building's two residents were where. As expected, I found Spike making sandwiches in the kitchen.
"Hey."
He turned, obviously unhappy about the situation, and I saw a flash of anger across his face before he fought it down.
"Look, Zephyr, I already know that the newspaper isn't true, but it's getting to me anyway, so-"
"It's all lies."
He started at my interruption, then sighed and relaxed visibly.
"Thanks. I needed that."
"I understand. You think she'll want to see me?"
"Definitely. Go ahead up, and tell her I made sandwiches, if she wants any."
"Can do."
I climbed the stairs quickly but quietly, and opened the door to Twilight's room. The curtains were closed, and the lights were off, making the quivering form on the bed barely visible, although the sobbing was still plenty loud enough to be heard. I climbed up to the small landing that contained the bed, and approached carefully.
"Twilight?"
My shirt was unexpectedly yanked forward, throwing me on top of the sheets separating me from my mare, and I felt a pair of arms grab me as soon as I landed, crushing me against her as she buried her head into my neck, pointing her horn to one side so as not to hurt me as she sobbed.
"Sshhhhh, sshhh. I know, Twilight, I know. Just let it out. I'm here now."
My shirt quickly became soaked as she cried. I held her close, gently running my fingers through her mane to straighten it out. After a few minutes, she finally calmed down enough to speak.
"Sorry, I just.... I've been dealing with a lot today."
"I have an idea. The newspaper, right?"
"Yeah. Five other mares came up to me at various points today, and they all were treating me like I stole something from them. The last one actually slapped me. She said I should have never come here...." She started crying again, and I squeezed her tightly. "Why are they being so mean? I saw the article, but still. How could they just believe that without even asking about it, first?"
"I don't know, Twilight. People back home did the same thing, actually. I never understood it then, either. Don't worry, though. I already have a plan to fix this."
"You do?"
"Yeah. I saw the article, too, and I read it through twice while I was walking around. It has a very odd style."
Twilight pulled away a bit and wiped her eyes so she could see again.
"What do you mean?"
"Well, every writer has a style. Read enough fiction, and it becomes possible to notice these differences at a glance. Some writers use larger words, or better analogies, or their characters have things in common with each other. That article, though, is strange, because the style changes, twice."
"So, there are three different styles being used by the same author?"
"No. There are three authors working together under a pseudonym. And I only know of three foals in that school who would be desperate enough to try something like this."
Twilight's eyes went wide as realization hit.
"The CMC?"
"The CMC."
--
Twenty minutes later, I had gathered Rarity, Rainbow Dash, and Applejack, and we were outside the clubhouse the Crusaders used. I could hear them talking inside as we approached. I knocked on the door, and the talking abruptly ceased.
"Open the door, girls. I already heard you in there, so no point hiding."
A couple seconds later, the door opened, and all three stepped out before quickly shutting it again. All three were grinning nervously, and Apple Bloom's speech was shaky as she greeted us.
"H-hi, guys. What's up?"
I scowled at them, and they flinched slightly.
"I am going to give you one chance, girls. Have you been writing for the school newspaper as 'Gabby Gums'?"
They looked up at me innocently, attempting to keep up the charade.
"Gabby Gums..." Sweetie Belle said it like she was trying to place the name, "No, I don't think I've ever heard that name before. Sorry."
I sighed. Well, I was hoping they'd make this easy, but...
I suddenly moved forward, and pushed open the door to the clubhouse. All three of them tried to stop me, but were too slow. The door swung in, revealing the floor covered with pictures of other ponies in their private moments and sheafs of paper filled with writing. I glared down at the fillies, and they moved aside so I could walk in. I sifted through the stacks, reading a line or two here, taking a closer look at the pictures there....
"So what did you expect to happen, doing this?"
The question took them off-guard, as I continued to push papers around with my foot disinterestedly. Finally, Apple Bloom spoke up.
"Well, we thought we might be able to get our cutie marks..."
"In what, precisely?" She started as my attention suddenly focused in on her. "Ruining reputations? Destroying the friendships and lives of others?"
All three of them looked at me in horror.
"Yeah. You three have been so busy trying to put together your next big story, you haven't bothered to find out what your stories were doing to the ponies around you. You want to know why only these three are here?" I gestured to Applejack, Rarity, and Rainbow. "It's because they feel like they need to be responsible about making sure this doesn't happen again. Fluttershy wouldn't even come out of her cottage, Pinkie is so busy trying to keep everyone friendly to each other she can't take the time to come out here, and you want to know where Twilight is right now, after dealing with the fallout of your story about the two of us?" I was bent over now, my head just above theirs.
"Where?" Sweetie Belle managed to squeak out.
"She's at the library, which has been closed for the day, hiding in her room. She's been crying almost non-stop after several mares went there and verbally assaulted her. One of them physically slapped her because of what you wrote." All of them sagged as the consequences of their actions set in. "You did not ask us for any information regarding our relationship, and the town now believes that neither she nor myself are trustworthy. Through your carelessness, both of our reputations have been demolished. Now what do you have to say about that?"
All three of them started crying as Scootaloo spoke up.
"We didn't know ponies would take it that seriously! We didn't mean for anything bad to happen!"
I shook my head.
"That's irrelevant, to be honest. Actions have consequences, intentional or not. And in something like a newspaper, everyone will take what is written at face value. Lying in a newspaper is a good way to start riots. You three did not think about the consequences of your actions, and so you have done damage that is quite possibly irreversible to all of us."
Sweetie Belle was crying openly now, and the other two weren't far behind. None of the mares I had brought with me moved, though, as I had asked them not to interfere beforehand. I straightened up, and folded my arms.
"Now, do you three want to tell me what's been going on, or do I have to keep figuring it out myself?"
They shook their heads, and got control of their crying.
"No, Zephyr," Apple Bloom said as she wiped away the last few tears, "we'll tell ya."
The next half an hour was spent listening to them talk about how the idea got started, how they had gotten a colt named Featherweight to take pictures for them, and how Diamond Tiara had goaded them on. What little remained of my good mood from that morning vanished when her name came up.
"I thought that brat might have something to do with all this. As for you three..." The Crusaders flinched as I paused. "I think you've learned your lesson, yes?"
They nodded.
"Good. You are going to write one last story, though. A retraction and apology article, so the town knows what really happened. Any complaints?"
"No, Zephyr," they chorused.
"Alright, then." I exited the clubhouse, noting that the sun had sunk nearly to the horizon.
Crap. I still need to talk to Time Turner and Zecora, too. Well, at least I can trust those three to fix everything. They wouldn't let a mess this big stick around very long. They care about others too much. I started walking towards the Everfree, hoping to make it to Zecora's and back before dark. I had already managed to hold my own against most of the creatures that inhabited the forest, but an ambush probably wouldn't end well for me. I'm just glad those three respect me like they do, or I wouldn't have been able to convince them of anything. Probably helps that I was able to hold Big Mac back for a good ten minutes during that love poison fiasco. Helps that he isn't a pegasus. I doubt throwing him would have done me any good, then. I continued my musings as I walked the path to Zecora's hut, occasionally glancing at the sun to make sure I wasn't falling behind my time limit. Fortunately, the trip was uneventful, and Zecora happened to have a few bottles of a potion she claimed would calm even the most panicked of ponies. By the time I got back to town, though, the sun had set. I decided against going to the house Time Turner and Derpy shared, and went home so I could talk to them tomorrow.
Entering my house, I froze. I had very little furnishings, since I didn't need them, which made it easy for me to remember where everything was the last time I had been home, and one of the chairs had moved. I put the potion and my tools in my rec room, and pulled my hammer out. I had seen firsthand how violent some ponies could be during the early days of my residence on this world, and the abilities of the other creatures that inhabited just the area around Ponyville a dangerous place. It wasn't unthinkable that something or someone with ill intent had managed to get in. I left the lights off, allowing my eyes to adjust instead of giving away my movements to any potential attackers, and stealthily moved through the house, checking every room for disturbance before moving to the next. Finally, I opened the door to my own room, and saw a lump underneath the covers that looked like a sleeping pony. I moved closer and to the side, allowing me to see a dark, straight mane with a bright streak running through it. Fairly certain of the intruder's identity, I put my hammer down on the floor next to my nightstand, and moved to the front to confirm my idea.
Sure enough, I walked around to the other side of the bed to see Twilight's face, sleeping peacefully. Upon closer inspection, I could see newer tear streaks in her cheek fur. She obviously hadn't spent the entire night in peace. I stripped down to my boxers, and threw my clothes in the laundry hamper in the hallway for later washing. Once more, I moved silently into my room, then slipped under the covers, wriggling close to Twilight so I could hold her. She squirmed for a moment, but a gentle nuzzle on her neck calmed her down.
"Don't worry," I whispered, "nothing will hurt you here."
Author's Note
I tried several times to give Zecora some lines, but I just could not make it work. Sorry.
The Sexiest Man in Equestria
I woke up the next morning to a face full of purple. I snorted lightly as some of it got in my nose, then moved my head so it wouldn't happen again. I slid a hand up the body of the purple, and found breasts. Somewhere in the back of my sleep-addled mind, I realized it was Twilight, who I had found sleeping in my bed when I got home the previous night. My hand moved up again, and I heard her whimper. I lfted my head up, and placed it on her shoulder, nuzzling her cheek as my brain finally started waking up fully. Apparently, the events of the previous day had taken more out of me than I thought.
"You awake, Twilight?"
She nuzzled back as she nodded. I finally managed to get my eyes open, and saw that she was using my other arm as a pillow.
That explains why I couldn't feel my arm. I flexed my fingers, just to be sure I still could. Satisfied I wouldn't need an amputation, I resumed nuzzling Twilight, moving the rest of my body over her as I did. I managed to free my arm, and pulled her against me, squeezing as I moved my lips to hers, and held her in a long, slow kiss. I pulled away, and she buried her face in my shoulder.
"That article is still bothering you, isn't it?"
She nodded.
"Well, I already talked to the Crusaders about it. They're going to fix it today, so that should be the end of it."
She held me a little tighter in appreciation. I frowned.
"This whole thing has really got you down, huh?"
She nodded again, and I sighed.
"Well, unfortunately, I still have jobs to do, so I can't stay here all day. You, however, are more than welcome to." I kissed her head.
"Thank you," she whispered.
I gave her a final nuzzle, then got up and got dressed to go out.
"Help yourself to anything in the kitchen, Twilight. I'll be back later."
--
Once again, I was sought out while between jobs by several mares. This time, though, most of them were apologizing. Apparently, Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo had spent most of the night making their own special edition of the paper, and had sent it out first thing in the morning, revealing who they were, what had actually happened, as well as apologizing for everything. I also had one mare come running up to me, breathless, asking for Twilight. I told her to come to my house that evening if she wanted to see Twilight, and she reluctantly agreed. Beyond that, though, the day went smoothly. Arrive at a house, fix a problem, leave, repeat. As I was headed home, though, I noticed the Crusaders walking down a side street, heads hung low. I fell in step with them, listening to their conversation.
"So now what?" Scootaloo asked from the middle of the group.
"Ah dunno," Apple Bloom answered from ahead of her. "Diamond Tiara's already got the paper printin', Ah don't see any way tah stop her."
Sweetie Belle sniffled. I scowled at the mention of Diamond Tiara. That little brat and her father, aptly named Filthy Rich, had been a thorn in my side since my arrival. Filthy had a bad habit of being overly confident and proud, but his daughter was just plain despicable. She and her friend Silver Spoon were the epitome of spoiled rich kids. Their parents were completely useless in fixing the issue, as well, believing that the horror stories the other foals told of the duo's misdeeds were simply playground exaggerations. I knew from experience that they were not. Those two little demons were either completely ignorant of the pain they caused, or were truly vicious creatures. I wasn't sure which it was, but this was the last straw for me. Those two, Tiara especially, needed to be taught a lesson, and it was time I stepped in. Cheerilee wouldn't like it one little bit, but that mare was as stubborn as they come when it came to being the one in charge of her class. I would have to take care of her, as well. First, though...
"Well, I was hoping she'd be smart this time, but I guess not."
All three of the fillies jumped, previously unaware of my presence, and huddled together at the look on my face. I softened my expression, set down my tools, and knelt down, wrapping my arms around them and pulling them in a tight hug.
"You should have come straight to me when this started. Let me guess, she has some pictures of you three going out today, doesn't she?"
They all relaxed in my grip, and Sweetie grabbed me back as she started crying. I pet her mane as she did, while listening to the other two.
"We're sorry, Zephyr," Apple Bloom said, barely able to look at my eyes, "we just figured it wasn't that important. You and everypony else have lots of things to do, so we tried to handle it on our own."
"Yeah," Scootaloo added, "we didn't want anyone else to have to deal with our problem."
I shook my head.
"Don't worry about whether the rest of us are busy or not. Next time, just tell us. Your sisters, me, Cheerilee, somebody. I know you're all in a hurry to grow up, but trust me, enjoy the lack of responsibilities while you can. Let someone else deal with bigger problems like this. Now, how about telling me what's going on?"
They did. Apparently, Diamond Tiara had told Featherweight to take pictures of them, as well, and she had used the pictures as leverage against the Crusaders. The pictures had already been put into the evening paper, though, along with stories to match. I held the three fillies closer and growled reflexively. This had gone on long enough. I wasn't going to sit back and let the system fail any longer. That little brat had caused far more than enough suffering for one pony, and it was time to knock her down a peg or ten. Before I could do that, though...
"Pinkie!" I called. A few seconds later, she popped out of a barrel, slumping over the edge as she panted. I had learned very quickly that Pinkie had two very specific traits: First, she could do things that made no sense sometimes. Whether appearing out of a barrel, or making objects appear from nowhere, to her Pinkie Sense, the mare did things occasionally that just could not be explained. The second thing I learned was that she was also incredibly dependable. If something needed to be done, Pinkie would get it done. And right now, I needed to make sure this got done.
"Yeah, Zephyr?" she panted.
"These three need to get home. Can you take them?"
She nodded.
"Sure, sure! Is something happening?"
"It will be, and I need to go deal with it. Just try to keep them away from crowds, okay?"
She gave me a thumbs-up.
"No problemo, Zephyr! Come on, girls, I'll show you the sneaky roads."
The three of them said goodbye, and followed after Pinkie, who still looked tired, but at least capable. I got up and walked back to my house. Outside, the mare from that morning was waiting for me. I told her to wait there, then went in and told Twilight about her. Initially, she didn't want to go, but I managed to get her to go downstairs after a little prodding. The conversation was fairly pleasant, and short, with the mare apologizing profusely several times before she left. After a little more prodding and pointing out the state the library had probably fallen into in her absence, Twilight went back to her home as well, allowing me to retrieve my guitar, one of the few possessions I had, and go out into the fading light.
Time for this to end.
--
Filthy Rich sits at the head of his dining table, chewing another bite of salad as he thinks back through the day. His accounting firm had had very few errors today, most of which were dealt with swiftly and easily. The only thing to take care of now was the latest problem his daughter was a part of. He looks down the twenty-two-seat table at Diamond Tiara, who is practically shovelling the food into her mouth, and sighs.
"Diamond," he begins, "would you like to explain to me what happened today?"
He can see her roll her eyes at the question, and then put down her fork.
"Easy. Those stupid blank-flanks at school decided to get me in trouble again. I was just doing my job. I was supposed to get papers sold, I got papers sold. They pulled out, I needed new material. Simple as that. It's not like I did anything wrong. They're just way too sensitive."
Filthy sighs as Diamond pushes away her plate.
"May I be excused?" She raises an eyebrow expectantly.
Knock knock knock
Both ponies at the table turn to the entrance to the dining room. Someone is at the front door. They see the butler pass by, and Filthy gives his daughter a stern look.
"No. Not until I hear everything that happened."
The following staring match is interrupted by the sound of a guitar echoing down the halls towards them, quickly accompanied by the Music of Harmony. It is no happy song, though, and whoever is playing is getting closer as the music becomes almost frantic.
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Filthy moves behind the table, and Diamond Tiara quickly joins him, unsure of who had forced their way into the house. As the singing begins, though, the figure comes into view.
Him! Somewhere in the back of his mind, Filthy is cursing at the human, that wretched creature which he had always known was dangerous. To what little remains of the frightened pony's conscious thoughts, this is proof of the danger of having predators in pony society, but as the first verse closes, visions begin to play across every flat surface of the room. He sees himself, sending away ponies he had deemed useless, and then the ultimate fate he had delivered them to: death. Cold and alone, on the side of the road, or lost in a forest, or starving in an abandoned building, because no one else would hire them.
Then the visions change, to show his daughter, ruining lives with words, sending foals home hurt and crying as they run from the pony they see as a monster.
Then the visions begin to move forward with the second verse, showing the consequences of the path Filthy and Diamond are walking. More unemployed, reduced to thieves. More classmates, hurt so deeply by his daughter's razor tongue that they end the torment themselves.
Then further forward with the second chorus, as he hands his company down to Diamond...
...and she hires lawyers to take everything else, too. The court sends him to a retirement home. He gets no visitors, not even his own daughter, and the ponies there remember who he was, and how he treated others, and they choose to ignore his existence. He continues to age, and is soon on his deathbed, cold and alone, just like all those other ponies he deemed worthless. There are only a few old business partners at his funeral, there to merely try and elevate themselves above each other, bragging about the deals they made and the scams they'd pulled.
Diamond Tiara is too busy throwing another party that week to come.
Time moves forward again, showing Diamond Tiara's future as it will be. There are parties, and false friends, and money, and backstabbing business partners as the company she inherited is slowly but surely taken, piece by piece, by investors and salesmen. Before long, she owns nothing. She is informed of her new lack of funds, and evicted from her penthouse. She is informed of her removal as CEO, and locked out of the boardroom. She is informed of her dismissal from the company, and is kicked out of the building. That night is cold, and a young mare who just entered heat is a prime target for the stallions who prowl the streets without morals. At the age of twenty-eight years old, Diamond Tiara is raped and kidnapped by five stallions. She is sold on the black market as a slave. Two weeks later, she can take no more of her new owner's demands, and takes her own life with a shard of a broken crystal wine glass as the song ends. Filthy Rich and Diamond Tiara look up at the human, the predator, the one they thought a monster, to see a look of pity and disappointment. The tears flow from them both without resistance, and both wonder how a single look can hurt so much.
"That," the human says, "was your future. The Music of Harmony does not lie, as I'm sure you know, and I can only influence it so much. I very seriously suggest you rethink how your actions affect others." He turns and leaves, and the two ponies sitting on the floor hold each other as they weep. The words are true, and the knowledge that there is no one else to blame for their fates sinks deeper than any blade ever could.
And it hurts more than anything they've ever felt.
Author's Note
I find Diamond Tiara and Filthy Rich to be deplorable. Silver Spoon shows some signs of being redeemable, but I wanted to punch Diamond in the mouth the first time she spoke.
Instead, though, I decided to have this happen, because it hurts more and I'll be using it a couple more times.
The Sexiest Man in Equestria
I moved quickly down the darkened street as my breathing quickened. I could already hear whispers at the edge of my perception, heralds of what was to come.
Gotta get to Twilight. Quickly.
I turned a corner and came back onto Mane Street, where a few ponies were still wandering around, enjoying the early night air. A couple waved at me, and I flashed shaky smiles at them as I hurried past. The whispers were becoming audible, now.
Alone....
Shut up.
You're all alone, little human.
No I'm not.
Aren't you?
Images began swimming in my vision, showing me being shunned by my pony friends, and sent away to the wilderness near the Griffon Kingdoms. They showed me failing to survive, and being eaten by a pack of wolves after I became too weak to fight back.
Aren't you alone, little human? Do you really think that any of them truly accept you?
I already know they do. I doubt I'd still be here otherwise.
They tolerate you, nothing more, and you know it.
I know Luna's been letting me fuck her for months, and I know Twilight let me fuck her a couple nights ago.
Luna has been sitting alone in her tower for months since her return, and longer before her banishment. She allowed you to release yourself because she had no other choice. You disgust her. Twilight only permitted you into her life at all because of your 'aura' that makes mares want you. Every time you leave, she thinks about how much you scare her, and what you might do, and she cries to herself for acting how she does to you.
SHUT UP!
You know it's true!
I could see the library now, as my breathing became ragged and I found my legs barely able to move forward.
She will shun you. She will push you away. She will force you to relent and make you suffer for controlling her. She will-
SILENCE!!!
I raised my arm as I neared the library door, and managed to stumble forward just enough for it to thump against the door. I reared my whole body back, and fell forward again to make another thump. The lights were still on, so she was still up.
And what if she doesn't want to see you? What if she'd rather stay with the stallion who's in there with her right now?
I was on all fours now, panting from the induced fear, stabbing into the back of my skull like an intangible knife. I heard hoofsteps, and the door opened, revealing a pair of purple hooves attached to a pair of purple legs.
"Zephyr!" The legs bent, and a pair of purple arms grabbed my face and pulled it up, letting me see Twilight's face. "Zephyr, are you okay? What happened?"
I couldn't be bothered to explain at that particular moment, and instead opted to just kiss her. I shoved my lips against hers, and pushed her back enough to get the door closed. She fell backward, and I had to catch her to keep her from hitting her head. As soon as I did, my hands started moving up and down her sides, and she began moaning into my mouth as a result. Somewhere during this time, I became aware of the fact that she was wearing nothing but a short nightgown, which was currently losing its grip on her body. Finally, I pulled back for air, and Twilight looked up at me with a lot of surprise and a little bit of lust as we caught our breath.
"You going to tell me what that was all about, or do I have to figure it out myself?"
"Is it alright if I fuck you first?"
Her ears perked and her head jerked back at my bluntness.
"Uh, okay. Any particular reason?"
I took off my guitar and set it on the couch before scooping Twilight up and carrying her up the stairs as her legs wrapped around my waist. It always surprised me how light all the ponies were.
"Same reason I was panting like a dog outside your door."
Because you are loathed and unwanted, and you know it.
Another shot of pain-inducing fear went through my skull, and I had to pause climbing the stairs to regain my balance. Twilight looked at my face worriedly.
"Are you alright?" I could hear the concern in her voice, and the fear subsided just enough for my eyes to work properly again.
"I will be. I just need you to help a bit." I made it up the stairs, and into Twilight's room before collapsing halfway to the landing with the bed. Twilight now laid below me, watching with growing concern evident on her face as the pain grew sharper, and began spreading through my body. Finally, my arms gave out and I fell next to her, shuddering with every breath as tears formed from the agony. She managed to lift my clothes enough to get me back on my feet, and helped me up to the bed.
She pities you. She's only tolerating you because she feels sorry for you.
I did my best to ignore the words as Twilight laid me down and curled up on top of me. I held her tightly and she pressed her nose against my neck. It was a gesture I had only seen a few times, mostly between Derpy and Time Turner. I knew it was something ponies considered to be an intimate gesture. The voice finally fell silent, and some of the fear ebbed away, giving me enough clarity to pull Twilight up and kiss her again. As I made out with her, I could feel her hands travel downward, and start undoing my pants. My hands moved south as well, and started massaging her cutie marks. She moaned softly as she pulled my dick out, and started stroking it. She pulled back, and smiled down at me.
"Feeling better yet?"
She doesn't want you. She wants to run away, and never have to see you again. Never have to suffer your violations again.
My hands clenched, making Twilight squeak as I dug into her flanks, and my vision blurred.
"I need to fuck you, Twilight. Please."
She nodded.
"Okay, but, this time I get to lead."
She doesn't want to feel like she's getting raped again.
I ignored the voice as best I could, and focused on the sensation of Twilight guiding my cock into her waiting marehood. She was already wet enough for me to enter, and she started off with a slow grind, making both our arousals stronger and slicking her folds sufficiently for my dick to move inside her without resistance. She repositioned slightly, then lifted herself slowly to the head of my dick before lowering herself back down. She moved with deliberate slowness, letting us both feel every inch of the other. As she reached my base, she positioned her hands on my chest while I resumed massaging her flanks. A low moan escaped her as she lifted herself again, and pushed back down just as slowly. Finally, she started moving at a rhythm, pulling out with a flick of her tail, then slowly engulfing me again. I groaned as she began gyrating her hips in time with her flicks, angling my shaft inside her as she moved and dragging my tip against her walls.
"You've been reading again, haven't you?" I barely managed to open my eyes to see her blush.
"Yeah. There's a surprising number of books about this sort of thing."
"Well, don't stop. It's working."
"The reading, or the fucking?"
"Both."
She giggled, and picked up her pace. I could feel her beginning to tighten, and my own groin was warning me of the coming flood.
She wants to get off you. She wants you to disappear.
The sound was easy to ignore, now. The effects were finally wearing off, made apparent by the desperation in the taunts. I was close, now, and Twilight didn't show any signs of stopping before I finished.
"I'm cumming, Twilight."
"Me, too. I'm not going to stop!"
"You better not."
I came first, painting her insides with semen just before she clenched on my cock. She kept moving up and down on my cock as her orgasm threatened to crush my dick, squeezing out a couple more spurts of jizz while I was still hard. Finally, she relaxed, and we stayed still while we caught our breath. My cock softened and slid out of her with a soft pop, and she gently laid down on top of me. I squeezed her cutie marks one last time, then moved my arms upward to hold her close. The voice was gone, the fear was gone, and all that held my focus at that moment was the mare in my arms.
"So, you going to tell me what just happened? Not that I didn't enjoy myself, but it was a little abrupt."
"Yeah. Well... you know the Music of Harmony."
She lifted her head so she could watch my face, obviously interested.
"Yeah. Whenever a pony, or group of ponies, feels strong enough emotions, the latent magic in the atmosphere generates a music-based spell, allowing those ponies to sing in tune with each other about those emotions. The most notable of these being Winter Wrap-Up. Why?"
"I can control the Music of Harmony."
Twilight blinked a few times.
"What."
I could almost hear the gears in her head falling off their spokes at this information. I had done some research of my own on the subject, and the ability I had should have been impossible, by all accounts. Twilight shook her head, and the spark of curiosity she always got was apparent in her eyes.
"How is that possible?! Prevailing magical experimentation says that there's no possible way of doing that!"
I nodded, and rubbed her back, just below her ribs where I knew I could make her relax from the shifts I had worked at the spa.
"I'm aware. I have a theory about it, though. I've seen a few ponies feeling emotions just as strong as, if not stronger than, my own. However, they don't typically seem to know what they want to do with it. They have a general idea, but no specific action, which I usually have a pretty good idea about pretty quickly in that kind of situation. The other part is that I always have to use an instrument, and be playing a song I know. These two things have given me the idea that, by having most of the framework laid out already, there's enough magic left over from creating the rest of the song to do other things. Tonight, I was showing Filthy Rich and his daughter what would happen if they keep acting how they do.
"Here's the downside, though: Any time I do this, the Music of Harmony does something to me, as well. The Music itself has some sort of low-level consciousness, and it does not like being controlled like that. And, since sound is one of the few types of magic that can affect me, I basically have no way of stopping it. Any time I do this, the Music collects a toll in the form of my misery. It changes each time, too. This time, it was telling me you didn't want anything to do with me, and that you'd rather I just disappear."
Twilight's ears drooped, and she moved forward for a long, slow kiss, immediately shoving her tongue in my mouth and holding my head tight. The last scraps of doubt were propelled out of my mind, and I grabbed her head as well. We held each other like that for what felt like at least a minute, and we were both breathless after.
"That's..." Twilight gasped a couple more times, "that's why you wanted to have sex so badly. So you could prove the truth to yourself, right?"
I nodded as my breathing returned to normal.
"Yeah. And it worked, too." I kissed her again. "Thank you, Twilight."
"Sniff. "
Our reverie was suddenly broken, and we both looked at the window to see Pinkie Pie half-in and half-out, rubbing away tears from her eyes. Twilight scrambled to get a blanket over us.
"Pinkie! What are you doing here!? And why are you hanging off my windowsill!?"
"Well, I got the Crusaders home like Zephyr asked, and I had another question for him, so I was trying to find him, but I couldn't find him anywhere! Then I remembered you're with him, now, so I thought, maybe he's at Twilight's. And you were! But the door was locked, so I came up through the window, but you were busy, and I didn't want to interrupt, so I just waited, but that story about Zephyr getting hurt for trying to help ponies was just so unfair, and I sniffed, and then you noticed me, and then you were like-"
"Pinkie."
She fluttered her eyelashes at me as I interrupted.
"Yes, Zephyr?"
"What did you want to ask me?"
"Oh, right! I wanted to know, since you and Twilight are together now, if I could join your group, too!"
She gave a big smile, obviously hopeful.
Not what I was expecting.
Author's Note
Finally. There were far too many unexpected interruptions this week for my taste.
The Sexiest Man in Equestria
Twilight stared slack-jawed at her friend as I considered the request. Pinkie had come to mean a lot to me, and I had already spent a good deal of time helping her out in appreciation. Beyond her dependability, she was also capable of occasionally coming up with an answer or piece of necessary information faster than even Twilight. She was also the first of the Element Bearers that I had had sex with, so I already knew I wouldn't be disappointed there. I wouldn't say I was in love with her, not like Twilight, but there was something. I certainly didn't have any reason to say no, at least, but I wasn't the only one whose opinion mattered.
"What do you think, Twilight?"
She slowly blinked.
"Uh... I uh...."
"That sounds like a 'maybe.' Come here, Pinkie."
Twilight shook her head in surprise as Pinkie pulled herself up, fell in, and rolled forward until she laid her upper half on the bed.
"Zephyr, what are you thinking?! None of us are aware enough to make an intelligent decision about this right now!"
I helped Pinkie up and let her settle down at my side, then pulled Twilight on top of me as I felt my senses dulling.
"We're not making a decision, we're just sleeping in the same bed as a preview. Now go to sleep."
Her retort was interrupted by a monstrous yawn, and the realization that Pinkie was already asleep. I felt her relax against my chest as I drifted off.
--
The next morning, I found both of my bedmates missing. I wasn't really concerned, but I was disappointed. One of the best parts of being in a relationship was waking up warm and comfortable. Instead, I woke up slightly chilled and a little stiff. I stretched out, feeling a menagerie of cracks and pops through my skeleton as everything realigned and reset. I headed downstairs, since I was still wearing my clothes from the previous night, and found Pinkie and Twilight in the kitchen with half-eaten plates of pancakes.
"Hullo!" Pinkie said through a mouthful of food. Twilight swallowed her bite first.
"Good morning, Zephyr. There's a plate ready for you on the counter."
There was, in fact, a large plate with several pancakes on it ready to go. I got a glass of orange juice first, then joined the mares at the table.
"Okay," I spoke through bites of pancake, "where are we at?"
Twilight sighed as Pinkie took another huge bite of pancakes.
"I'm still not sure about my feelings, but if you're willing to give her a chance, so am I."
"Alright, then. You'll still have to get approval from one more, though."
Pinkie tilted her head and perked her ears adorably.
"Who's that?"
"You'll find out soon enough." We finished the rest of the meal in relative quiet, broken only by Pinkie telling us in her usual overly talkative manner about how excited she was about all this. When I polished off the last of the pancakes on my plate, I rinsed the dishes off and put them in the sink. "I have some things to take care of today, so I'll see you later, alright, girls?"
They both nodded, and I gave Pinkie a kiss on the nose before giving Twilight a longer kiss on the lips. I went back to my own house, showered, and put on some clean clothes before heading back out to Time Turner's clock shop. When I got there, I found Colgate inside, getting one of her office clocks fixed, apparently. Time Turner gave me a welcoming smile, and Colgate gave me a smile with a different kind of invitation. She was on her way out, and flicked her tail at me as she left. I returned my attention to Time Turner, who was drumming his fingers rapidly on the counter with a slightly drunk grin on his face.
"How you doing, Zephyr?"
"You want that."
I cut right to the chase, and Timmy's face turned red faster than an emergency light.
"W-w-w-what are you talking about?! I'm already with Derpy, and besides, Colgate likes you! Even if I was interested, I wouldn't have a chance!"
I dropped my head, crossed my arms, and raised an eyebrow, giving him the best 'who do you think you're kidding' look I had.
"Turner, you know full well you're easier to read than a picture book. That's why you're always the first one naked in strip poker. Don't even try to hide it."
He hung his head and his ears drooped.
"Alright, fine. Yes, I like Colgate. I have no idea how to approach her, though. She's completely different from Derpy, and I have no idea if Derpy will even be open to the idea."
I sighed and shook my head.
"You're way too paranoid, dude. Derpy won't have a problem, I'm sure. Besides, with Colgate around, that'll give Dinky another mother figure, especially since they're both unicorns, and that will give Sparkler more time to herself. You'll just have to be careful about how you word it. If things do somehow go bad, though," I pulled out the potion I had gotten from Zecora and put it on the counter, "I got this for you, just in case. It'll calm you down."
Time Turner picked up the bottle, and his ears folded back.
"I still feel like this will go horribly wrong."
"Well, if it does, just remember that pegasi are physical communicators. If she starts getting hysterical, use that earth pony strength you have to hold her down and don't you dare let go. Kiss her, hold her, whatever it takes to make her understand she's still your number one. As long as she doesn't get away, you'll be fine."
He took a shuddering breath, then put the bottle in his pocket.
"Alright. I'll talk to her tonight."
"Fantastic. I have my own relationship hitch to work out tonight, so I'll talk to you tomorrow. See ya later, Timmy." I waved as I left, then started working out my own feelings for Pinkie. She had certainly been just as friendly to me as to anyone else, but I had never really thought about it too hard. Now that I was, however, it seemed obvious. She had originally had sex with me as gratitude for helping her clean up after my birthday party, but afterward, she had become much more forward, inviting me to various places and social events along with the Element Bearers, where I had inevitably gotten involved with some other mare every time. And every time, it had been Pinkie who managed to get me alone with those mares. I stopped abruptly in the street as it occurred to me that Pinkie had probably planned for at least three quarters of the sessions I had at her parties, including my meeting with Vinyl Scratch, AKA DJ Pon-3, and her marefriend Octavia Philharmonica. Just mentioning my musical interests to them had made both mares start making moves, and I found myself invited to go on tour with them the next morning.
As part of the band, no less.
That little two-week tour had sparked a string of invitations for me to play with a number of top-tier performers for over two months. Those two months had a lot more than just music, though, and there was no shortage of ponies wanting to share my bed, plus a few griffons, too. None of it would have happened, though, if Pinkie hadn't invited me along and set me up with Vinyl and Octavia.
I grinned somewhat maniacally as I resumed walking, having come to the conclusion that I wanted Pinkie. Not in the same way as Twilight, certainly, but no one ever said all love is equal. Besides, Pinkie's boundless energy extended to the bedroom, too, which made her perfect for wearing down Twilight, or if we got the chance, Luna. I suddenly found myself thinking about the future, and for the first time since I had arrived, I wished I could impregnate ponies. My mind suddenly conjured up images of Twilight, Luna, and Pinkie round with pregnancy, and then fucking them anally like that, and my pants started getting tight. I shuddered pleasurably as I arrived back at the library, and let myself in. Pinkie was sprawled out on the couch, asleep on her belly so that her short skirt could barely be considered decent, and Twilight was in one of the chairs reading, wearing her usual button-down shirt and blue jeans. She looked up as soon as I walked in.
"Hey, Zephyr! How was your- mmph!"
I cut her off with a long, lust-filled kiss and groped her breast. I was feeling especially grabby at that moment, and my other hand slid down to her flank to give it a good squeeze, even in her sitting position. I was interrupted when I heard someone clearing their throat behind me. I turned around to find Spike standing in the doorway to the kitchen, wearing his 'kiss the cook' apron. I grinned at him as I squeezed into the chair with Twilight and pulled her into my lap, letting her feel my raging boner.
"Sorry, Spike, are you feeling left out?" I grabbed one of Twilight's ears with my teeth and chewed it playfully as Spike recoiled.
"What?! No! Why would you think that?"
I pointed at his apron, he looked down, then he facepalmed.
"No, Zephyr, I'm not feeling left out. I just prefer not to bear witness to my sister consenting to molestation."
I stopped chewing and thought about it for a moment.
"So it would be fine for me to sling your sister over my shoulder, take her to my house, then molest her until she can't see straight?"
"Agh! Don't tell me about it, either!" Spike covered his ears and retreated to his kitchen as I laughed maniacally. Twilight bopped me on the head.
"Ow! What was that for?"
"Play nice."
"I am playing nice. I'm just playing... dirty." I smiled mischievously at her.
"You are really horny right now, huh?"
I ground my hips against her.
"You telling me you somehow can't feel it?"
She sighed and kissed me again.
"Pinkie and I talked. I decided I'm not quite ready to have to work with another mare, but I never will be if I don't practice."
"So she's in?"
"Yes. Just don't expect me to be kissing her any time soon. She is relentless."
I froze for a moment.
"Wait, are you telling me that you made out with her while I was gone? "
She nodded hesitantly. I paused as I thought about the two of them kissing, Pinkie's greater enthusiasm pushing Twilight down, even as Twilight tries to push back by groping Pinkie's tits. The moaning as Pinkie invades Twilight's mouth with her tongue, and grinds her pussy against Twilight's through their clothes, slowly pushing up her shirt-
I was brought back to reality by Twilight snapping her fingers in front of me.
"Are you alright? You spaced out for a second, there."
"Just had a sudden train of thought. A very sexy train of thought."
She rolled her eyes as Pinkie woke up with a snort.
"Huwhuzz? What'd I miss?" She stretched and yawned, her tongue lolling out of her mouth.
"Not much," I answered, "although I apparently missed quite a bit."
Pinkie giggled.
"I could do it again, if you want."
"That would be nice."
Twilight immediately started squirming as Pinkie moved off the couch.
"Hey! No, Pinkie, not now. We have other things to do, you know!"
"I think we have time for one kiss, Twi. Zephyr certainly seems to agree."
I nodded as I held Twilight in place. Pinkie quickly closed the distance between herself and Twilight, and cut off any further argument from the purple mare as they locked lips. Pinkie quickly took control of the kiss, pressing Twilight back against the chair so I could see her tongue enter Twilight's mouth. Twilight moaned quietly, and both mares' hands found the other's breasts as they fought for control. Pinkie's legs started shaking, and she straddled my leg, grinding against me gently. Unable to control myself any longer, I grabbed her ass with one hand, and Twilight's with the other, massaging both mares and making them moan even more. Spike walked in, and whatever he was going to say was cut off as he cried out in surprise, then disappeared back into the kitchen. The distance didn't stop him from being heard though, even with the moaning mares right next to me.
"Oh, for the love of Celestia, go get a room!"
I couldn't help myself.
"Does that mean we should invite Celestia to join us?"
A short moment of silence was followed by a strangled yelp, and the crash of someone falling to the ground. Pinkie didn't stop kissing Twilight, though, trapping the unicorn where she sat.
"You okay in there, Spike?"
"I will be, once Twilight wipes my memory."
I felt Twilight relax as Spike's safety was assured, then she moved her arms to Pinkie's shoulders and used all her strength to push the earth pony away. I moved my hand from Pinkie's flank to her head, pulled her over, and tilted her head so I could claim her mouth for myself, then I patted Twilight's butt, letting her know she could go check on Spike, which she did. While she was busy, I decided to really go at it with my new mare. I wrapped the arm that previously held Twilight around Pinkie's waist, and pulled her against me so I could hold her head and her flank simultaneously. Her mane was, as usual, delightfully poofy, making for a fantastic handhold. Her flank was equally squishy as my hand travelled beneath her skirt to squeeze the soft fur and flesh. She tried to invade my mouth with her tongue, and I quickly grabbed gently with my teeth, sucking on it and running my tongue up and down its length. She then tried to push me down, to which I responded by pulling on her hair lightly and squeezing her flank hard, angling her entire body back. Our fight for control went a few more minutes, until I heard Twilight clearing her throat. She was standing in the best 'are you done yet' pose I had ever seen, and I finally broke away from Pinkie, leaving her gasping for air as her mane frizzed out even more than usual. As she panted, her body relaxed while I released my grip on her, causing her to slide and roll off my lap to sit on the floor between my legs, still unable to speak, although Twilight had that covered.
"Are you two ready for lunch yet, or should I have Spike go help Rarity?"
I stood, picked Pinkie up, and slung her over my shoulder to carry her to the table, where she immediately started tearing into her salad with ravenous enthusiasm. I took a more controlled approach to my PB&J sandwich, as did Spike and Twilight to their daffodil sandwiches.
"So," Twilight started, "what are we going to do about this whole thing?"
I swallowed the piece of sandwich I had been chewing.
"What do you mean?"
"Well, I don't want to leave Spike alone yet. He may be nearly as old as me, but as a dragon, he still has a lot of growing up to do."
"You know I'm right here, right?"
Twilight sighed.
"And that's the other part of it. I'm still too accustomed to having him around and watching out for him. I'm too used to being the big sister, and I'm having a hard time letting him do his own thing."
I grinned again.
"I don't think it's himself he's been doing."
Spike turned a fantastic shade of red at the comment, and Twilight let her head fall onto the table in exasperation. After a moment, she looked back up at me angrily.
"That's not what I meant and you know it!"
"Yes, and that's what makes it all the funnier."
I took another bite of my sandwich as Twilight calmed down and Spike rubbed his face with a claw. Pinkie had finished most of her salad, and was absentmindedly chewing on one of the few remaining leaves of lettuce.
"What I mean," Twilight continued with obvious effort, "is that we aren't going to be able to come over here every time we want to do something-"
-Or each other."
Twilight glared at me.
"Are you going to do that every time?"
"Only when I'm sure it's what you actually mean."
She sighed again.
"So if I just say it myself, you'll stop interrupting?"
"Yep! Although I don't know if that'll be better or worse for Spike."
She cradled her head in her hands.
"Spike?"
He had his head on the table, covered with both arms.
"Just get it over with."
Twilight resumed her upright position and gripped the table.
"Alright, fine. We aren't going to be able to use my room every time we want to have sex, so we need to find somewhere else. I know Pinkie's room is pretty much off limits, since she lives with Mr. and Mrs. Cake, so is your house available for us to use when we're feeling horny, Zephyr?"
I nodded.
"Sure. I've been needing an excuse to start decorating, anyway."
Pinkie tilted her head, and the piece of lettuce she was chewing disappeared.
"Why do you need an excuse to decorate? That's like needing an excuse to have friends."
"Maybe, but I spend more time out of my house than in it, so I never bothered."
"Anyway!" Twilight stopped us from going further, "We can come over tonight, then?"
I nodded again.
"Okay. And your house is over on... um..." She blinked a couple times. "I just realized I have no idea where you live."
Pinkie opened her mouth, then closed it and looked down in thought for a moment before a truly perplexed expression covered her face.
"Neither do I, actually. How do I not know where you live? I know where everypony lives."
I grinned.
"I'm not a pony. Also, no one in Ponyville knows where I live. They never ask, I never tell, and this will be the first time I've brought anyone home with me. The few visitors I have had were directed to me by the Princesses. That's why my house is pretty much bare. No one is expecting it to be fancy or well-furnished. It's quite nice, actually. I don't have to worry about what anyone else thinks of my living conditions, and there's no mess of random stuff to stub my toes on when I'm walking around barefoot in the morning."
Both of the mares and the dragon sitting at the table stared in mild confusion and partial understanding at the idea of my house being almost empty. I took the opportunity to finish my sandwich, which Spike had even gone to the trouble of making with crunchy peanut butter. I almost felt bad about the disturbing imagery of his sister and Celestia I had given his brain. Almost.
"So," Pinkie broke the silence, "your place tonight?"
"My place tonight. I'll get you both later, but I have something else I need to check up on first. So, I'll see you both later."
I got up, gave Twilight and Pinkie each a kiss, and waved to Spike as I left. He waved back, so I knew we were still good.
I went to the market first, since I hadn't done any shopping in a while, and managed to get through most of my list without too much issue. There was, in particular, a much smaller number of mares trying to hit on me, which I made a mental note of for when Twilight finally started experimenting with that whole issue. She had apparently forgotten about it, but that wouldn't last. The one stall I was worried about, though, was the one that I wanted to go to the most, since it had my favorite food out of all of them, but the mare who usually ran it still wasn't entirely comfortable around me. Fortunately, she wasn't running it on this particular day.
"Heya, Big Mac. Good sales, today?" It was a mostly rhetorical question, since I could see the empty apple baskets behind him.
"Eeyup." That didn't mean he wouldn't answer, though. "You lookin' fer a bushel, today?"
"If you've got enough, yeah. Applejack still makes a big deal out of our little 'encounter', so I don't risk coming here when she's working. I just wish she'd quit acting like she wronged me somehow. I can understand why Fluttershy still can't even speak to me, that's just how she is, but AJ really needs to lighten up. It's not like I'm expecting anything else from her. She does understand that, right?"
Big Mac handed me my bag of apples, and I put them on my shoulder next to the potatoes I bought.
"I don't rightly know, Zephyr, but I do know I've heard her sayin' yer name through the wall at night. Could be she doesn't like the fact that she likes you, and she just doesn't know how to say it, so she tries to make you hate her, instead. I know she came back with Apple Bloom in a right state of confusion. I could hear her talkin' to herself in her room fer over an hour 'bout how she hated how well you treated the Crusaders."
I hummed in thought, then nodded to the massive stallion as I turned away.
"Thanks for the info, Big Mac. I may be able to figure out what's going on, now."
"Eeyup."
I headed back home, and unpacked my groceries into their appropriate spaces. I looked at the clock, and found that I still had an hour before I needed to get Twilight and Pinkie. In light of that information, I decided to go see how Time Turner was doing. his shop was already closed, I knew, so I headed straight for his house. I knocked on the door, and heard him call for me to wait before the sound of a pony falling down a flight of stairs was heard from behind the door. Said door was flung open, to reveal Time Turner, shirtless, covered in sweat, with his mane swirled like it had been in a blender, and his fur mussed up everywhere. I stared for a moment, and he stared back, panting too hard to speak.
"Well, it looks like your talk with Derpy went alright."
He flailed his arms for a moment, sputtering incoherently.
"'Alright'? 'Alright'?! That potion you gave me turned her into a sex-crazed maniac! I barely managed to get her to let me go and answer the door!"
I cocked my head in confusion.
"That's not what I wanted it to do."
"Well, it doesn't matter, now! She's 'finished' at least four times, and I've done at least six. And she still wants more! I can't stand this much longer!"
"Sounds like you'll need to wear her out."
He flailed and sputtered again.
"Wh-b-kh- AND HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO DO THAT?!?"
"Use your strength, and take control. Remember that there are more ways to get a mare off than just your third leg. How did she take the idea initially, though?"
He finally started to calm down.
"Fine, actually. She's been hoping for me to get another mare for a while, apparently. I only took the potion because I was freaking out about how to get Colgate to agree."
"Timey! Come back! I'm not done yet!"
"Sounds like you need to make her pass out, first. I'm busy the next couple of days, so I'll talk to you later, okay?"
He made a sound somewhere between a sigh and a sob, and nodded.
"Alright. Just leave me to my fate, then."
"Hey, it's not that bad. And she'll probably stop if you tell her to."
"Yeah, maybe. I'll see you later. I hope."
"You'll be fine. You always are."
He went back in, and I gave a final wave before heading off. I decided to pick up Twilight first, since she was further, and Pinkie would still be on the tail end of her job at Sugarcube Corner. As I expected, Twilight was ready to go, dressed in the same clothes she had previously, plus a purple vest that matched her coat and a pink carnation behind her ear.
"What's with the flower?"
She exhaled sharply, obviously nervous.
"It's a symbol. Whenever a mare wants to join a herd, or in this case, a pack, they typically give a flower with the same color as their coat to the lead mare of the group. It's a sort of pledge, that the new mare will be loyal, and won't try to get rid of the lead mare or take over her position."
I put my arm around Twilight's shoulders, and we started making our way to the bakery. When we got there, we found Pinkie bouncing in place outside, obviously excited about the evening's plans. I let myself stare at her chest as we approached, until she noticed us and stopped bouncing as she waved.
Oh well. I'll be getting a much better look later, anyway.
"Hi, guys! You all ready? Because I'm ready. I'm more ready than I've ever been before, I mean, seriously..."
I put my other arm around Pinkie and petted Twilight's mane as she leaned against me and took deep breaths. I simply let Pinkie ramble, since it would take some of the edge off her inevitable endurance during the coming activities. Twilight grabbed my hand with both of hers, and turned her face into my chest, breathing into my clothes. Pinkie was nearly hopping when we were only halfway there, forcing me to hold her down or risk having her launch off the face of the planet entirely. It did, however, give me another chance to stare at her bouncing bosom, and I could feel my penis beginning to awaken as I imagined the things I planned to do to the two mares i was currently taking to my bedroom. By the time we finally arrived, I had several goals set for the evening, and I planned on fulfilling all of them. I unlocked the door and swung it open, allowing my mares to enter first.
"Step into my parlor, ladies. It's going to be a long night."
Both of them shuddered as they preceded me, and I closed and locked the door behind me before directing them down the hall on the right and up the stairs to the left. We reached the bedroom, and Pinkie wasted no time jumping onto it, laying down on her back and not bothering to lower her shirt back to where it was. Twilight followed, and sat down on the edge, where she began unbuttoning her vest. I quickly undid my boots and kicked them off into the corner, then lunged for Twilight as she finally got the last button on her vest undone. I picked her up and realigned her with the bed, and Pinkie rolled over to watch as I made out with her. I ran my hands down Twilight's sides, bringing them back together when they reached her pants so I could unbutton those, as well. I pulled away so I could get the obstructive clothing off of Twilight's legs, and I caught Pinkie's eye, prompting her to take my place at Twilight's mouth. Twilight, for her part, was getting better at the battle for control that sex with Pinkie Pie is, and grabbed her mare's flank as they began making out in earnest.
Well that's an odd thought. Pinkie is Twilight's mare just as much as mine. My partial arousal was quickly inflamed at the idea of having Twilight use her spells to full effect on Pinkie in all the best ways. I shook my head, saving the idea for later, and returned my focus on the current situation, which had quickly escalated as Twilight rolled Pinkie over and pressed her hands into the pink mare's breast and flank, massaging both and making Pinkie let out muffled squeals of delight. The action was not left unreturned, though, as Pinkie grabbed Twilight's horn and started stroking it, while using her other hand on Twilight's pussy, which was getting wet enough to make a damp spot on her red panties. The two-handed assault got results more quickly than I expected, as Twilight pulled away and gasped for air. I already knew that unicorn horns could be used for what was typically referred to as a 'horngasm', but I had been saving the technique until she asked me for it. I didn't have any intention of letting Pinkie get to do it first, though, and quickly decided to stop her.
By making her reach orgasm first.
I dove underneath Twilight's legs, and shoved my head between Pinkie's, pulling her panties away and moving them aside so I could get my tongue into her, tasting her sugary juices. She squeaked in surprise, and started squirming as I got to work, grabbing her unattended flank with one hand and using my other to rub at her outer lips. She moaned appreciatively, and I could hear Twilight as she got her breathing back under control. I put more strength behind my tongue pushes, lapping deeper and deeper into Pinkie's folds as she relaxed and moaned at the ministrations of Twilight and myself. Finally, I pressed my mouth right up against her entrance, and slowly extended my tongue, probing every inch of flesh I could reach before going further. Pinkie writhed beneath me, and Twilight began grinding herself on my back, becoming more aroused every second. I decided that my cock wasn't going to get any harder without becoming painful, and moved my hands down to open my pants, forcing my weight onto my mouth and fully extended tongue as I managed to maneuver my lips around Pinkie's clit and start sucking on it hard. She nearly shrieked in pleasure, and her body locked up until I removed my mouth and began moving forward, crawling between the two and leaving a trail of kisses and licks along Pinkie's front as I pushed her shirt up and revealed her breasts. I gave her a long kiss on her mouth as my dick brushed her labia, then lifted myself up and swung my arm back to reach Twilight's nethers and give her some attention. I nosed Pinkie's fingers, and looked straight into her eyes. She got the message, and let go of Twilight's horn, but wasn't quite sure where to go next. I grabbed her fingers in my teeth, and guided her to Twilight's neck. I flexed my pelvis to straighten my dick, and pressed my tip into Pinkie slowly, realigning as necessary while I started licking Twilight's horn. Both mares let out high-pitched whinnies, and I simply began moving my entire body back and forth, fucking Pinkie while both fingering and licking Twilight, who leaned further into me as my speed increased. Sparks began to issue from Twilight's horn, popping pleasantly against my face and tongue as she went cross-eyed trying to look at me.
"Zephyr.... I'm getting close. Haah. Let me down onto Pinkie, please. Geh."
I pulled out of Pinkie, then let go of Twilight's heaving body as she lowered herself and grabbed Pinkie's face, making out with the earth pony with gusto. I started slowly jerking myself as their pussies rubbed together, my current position giving me a full view of them both as they slipped and ground against one another. I placed my other hand on Twilight's plot, gently massaging as the make out session became even more heated, sloppy pops and slurps accompanying the moans and groans and gasps of the two mares that had given me free reign of their bodies. The sparks coming from Twilight's horn also increased, growing in intensity until she could have been used as a fireworks display. She suddenly sat up, her eyes glowing white, and I removed my hand from her ass as she ground her pussy furiously against Pinkie's. Sparks flew everywhere over the pink mare, covering her in shimmering lights as they both screamed. The light from Twilight's horn suddenly spiked, forcing me to shield my eyes. When I could see again, the lights had coalesced on Pinkie's face, and began to fade while both mares caught their breath. I caught Twilight before she fell onto Pinkie, and lowered her down gently before laying on top of them both.
"You two okay?"
They nodded, and Twilight swallowed several times before speaking.
"I just directed my surge into Pinkie. It's one of the older forms of unicorn sex. Basically, unless I undo it, any unicorn can see my magical aura attached to hers. It's a way of claiming membership in a herd. Or pack."
"I see. You look pretty tired after that, though."
"I am."
"Alright, then. You just take it easy for now. Pinkie, roll over."
I lifted myself up as she did, taking Twilight with her while leaving me on top of them both. Seeing that Pinkie had worn a strapless bra, I released the clasp and did away with the unnecessary cloth. Pinkie's breasts dangled beneath her, freed from their prison, and I took the chance to grab and squeeze the fleshy pillows. She turned around and kissed me, grabbed my dick, and pulled me forward, prompting me to lean back and line up with her entrance so I could resume fucking her. Once I was in, her pussy walls clenched at my length, the slick flesh allowing me to build up speed quickly. I sank my hands into her plush plot, and grinned at the long, low moan it earned me.
"Twilight, could you do me a favor?"
"Yeah, Zephyr?"
"Suck Pinkie's tits for me. I always feel like they're going to fall off her if no one does anything with them."
I could hear the sound of her sucking on Pinkie's mounds, and Pinkie began wiggling in pleasure, adding to my own stimulation as i continued fucking her, in and out, in and out, side to side. Wiggle wiggle.
A loud pop sounded as Twilight pulled off, and I could hear her licking her lips at the taste.
"I didn't know you lactate, Pinkie."
My current conquest giggled as I picked up my speed again.
"Most ponies don't. A lot of them think it's weird, and it doesn't come up in most conversations, so nopony finds out."
"It tastes familiar, though."
I heard more sucking as Pinkie began to clench around me, bringing my own climax closer.
"I know I've... wait...."
My thrusts became frantic as I neared my end.
"Pinkie, have you been using your own milk for your baking?!"
My brain, working overtime from the arousal, suddenly ran through the entire chain of events that sentence implied, and I hilted myself, pouring semen into Pinkie even as her own climax crashed through her, caressing my dick and coaxing out a few extra spurts.
"Yeah..." Pinkie panted as we came down off our biological high, "sometimes. Not always, but... occasionally I don't have time to do anything else. Apparently everypony likes it more than regular milk, too. Not sure why."
I pulled out as Twilight lay shell-shocked beneath us.
"Probably because you eat so much of everything, so your body makes better milk," I offered. Twilight nodded, her academic side on autopilot. I laughed. "I guess we're done for now." I patted Pinkie's head, then took off my shirt and put my dick away. "I expect you both to be ready in the morning, though."
"Okay Zephyr!" Pinkie latched onto my side as I laid down, and I pulled Twilight onto her spot on my chest.
"Y-y-yeah...." Obviously, Twilight needed some sleep, and I was more than happy to oblige her as Pinkie began snoring.
Tomorrow morning is going to need a shower.
Author's Note
Long chapter before school starts back up. Updates will be slow for a while.
The Sexiest Man in Equestria
As I walked through town, things seemed slightly brighter than usual. The pegasi had done a better job than usual with the weather, apparently, and most ponies were out enjoying themselves. I headed straight for Time Turner's house, humming to myself as I went. I had a good feeling about today, and it wasn't just because I had gone three rounds in less than twelve hours. I was sure, for no particular reason, that my plan to get Colgate into Time Turner's herd was about to be completed. I knocked on said stallion's door, and nodded my head with the beat of the song I was humming. When the door finally opened, Derpy was standing there, only wearing a loose-fitting bathrobe that sagged and showed off her cleavage. For some reason, a lot of ponies didn't want anything to do with the mare because of her eyes, but I never could figure out how the other stallions in town could resist those big tits. The lack of high-speed flight had allowed her body to grow outward, and the only pegasus in town that could claim a larger bust was Fluttershy.
"Hey, Derpy. Timmy here?"
"Yeah. He's in the kitchen. Come on in."
I followed her in, and shut the door behind me as she led the way. Sure enough, Time Turner was in the kitchen, making pancakes. As we came in, he glared at me a little.
"You, sir, are not getting any."
"That's alright," I said with a grin, "Pinkie already made me breakfast. Waffles, with whole milk."
Neither of them knew what I was talking about, but they didn't need to, either.
"Anyway, how did last night go?"
"Great!" Derpy answered. "I dunno what that potion was, but we were fucking for over three hours! I've never felt so good before. Or sore, either, but I can deal with that. Oh! And, we decided to see if Colgate wants to join us, too."
"Cool." I looked around, suddenly aware of how quiet it was. "Dinky's already at school, I take it?"
Derpy nodded.
"Yep. Which means Timey and I will be making a trip to the dentist's today."
Time Turner spun around, sputtering.
"Wh-bu-pl- Why are we going today?!"
"Because," Derpy said in a matter-of-fact tone, "if we wait, then you'll change your mind. I want this to happen, too, you know. Having a unicorn parent will be especially good for Dinky, and I've had enough conversations with Colgate that I know she's a good pony, and she'll be fun to have around."
Time Turner went back to flipping pancakes, dejectedly.
"Well, that should be a good show. I'll be going over there later, as well."
Derpy's face lit up.
"Ooh! Maybe you could help us talk to Colgate! I'm sure it would make things go at least a little smoother."
Time Turner's arm suddenly flexed in surprise, and he screamed as the pancake he had been holding with the spatula slapped onto his face. Derpy jumped up and ripped the offending food from his eyes, throwing it onto a plate and then leading her stallion to the sink to wash off the rest and soothe the burns with cold water. He panted and shuddered as the water washed over him, then wiped his eyes off with a paper towel and glared at me.
"Thanks for helping out with that, Zephyr."
I raised my hands defensively.
"Hey, man, if you think I'm going to put myself in front of a mare when her stallion needs help, you're delusional. Besides, Derpy is more than capable of fixing you up without me. It's why I'm never worried about your health. I know you're in good hands, so there's no reason to worry."
Derpy helped Time Turner to sit down as her bathrobe came open, showing a couple small bruises on her stomach. Taking a closer look at Time Turner, I also noticed that the area around his lips looked like it had been chewed, and the edge of a bruise on his shoulder was visible under the collar of his shirt.
They were really going at it yesterday.
Derpy retied her bathrobe and took Timmy's place at the stove as I got up.
"Well, I have things that I have to actually take care of, so I guess I'll see you two at the dentist. I gotta get going. Enjoy the pancakes, dude. Claim your tasty revenge."
Turner groaned at my joke and Derpy giggled. Both waved as I left, and the door clicked shut behind me as I headed for my first stop.
--
About an hour later, I was walking into Colgate's dentistry office. The waiting room was quiet, but I could hear Colgate muttering to herself in her private office, past the actual work area. The place was empty, surprisingly. It would have been suspicious, were I not already aware of how quickly Colgate finished her appointments, and how easily she convinced others to brush their teeth regularly. It sometimes surprised me how she stayed in business. I made a beeline for her office, and found her staring in frustration at a packet of paper. I knocked on the open door, and her head snapped up to look at me.
"Oh, Zephyr! Sorry, I forgot. Here, let me show the hose that's clogged."
She got up and strode past me. Whatever she had been reading obviously had her riled up, because she didn't even make a passing attempt at getting me aroused. Every time I had visited her previously, she had done something to try to get my attention. This time, though, it was all business. She went straight to one of the three adjustable chairs in the room, and pulled the air hose from the side.
"I can still use it, but there's something stuck somewhere in the tube."
I took the handle, and flipped the switch, listening to the air flow. A faint whistling sound confirmed that there was something in the tube, but the opaque nature of the tube prevented identification of the blockage. I turned the switch back, and crouched down next to the base of the tube, setting my bag next to me.
"This shouldn't take too long. If I can get the tube by itself, I should be able to just wash out whatever's in there. In other news, though, you'll be having a couple other visitors later, so you'll have something to do while I'm working, at least."
"What."
The sheer level of fear in Colgate's voice made me turn around. She was sweating, and her breathing was beginning to accelerate. Her eyes had gone wide, and her pupils were shrinking even as I watched. I stood back up, and put my hands on her shoulders.
"Colgate, I don't know what's bothering you, but you should calm down. Panicking won't help you."
She nodded, and began forcing herself to take deeper breaths.
"Right. Right. I'm sorry, I just... I've had a bad morning."
"I can tell." I crouched back down as she calmed, and started taking apart the suction hose. "I don't mind listening, if you like."
"I.... I haven't been making enough money lately. I've been cutting costs where I can, and buying only the necessities as cheaply as possible, but unless I suddenly find myself with an inheritance, I won't be able to make my mortgage payment this month."
I paused as I was undoing a screw, and looked back at her with a smile.
"Well, then, you'll be jumping for joy about your other visitors."
She tilted her head in confusion.
"Huh?"
On cue, I heard the door open, and Derpy's voice rang out.
"Hellooo? Colgate, are you here?"
I made a short whistle to get her attention, and she came in a second later, wearing a tight blue t-shirt and equally tight jeans. Timmy followed close behind, wearing baggy shorts and a loose v-neck. I wondered briefly if Derpy had accidentally switched their clothes again.
"Hi, guys," Colgate greeted as I finally got the tube free of the base, "You aren't scheduled for at least another two months, is something wrong?"
I started undoing the handle on the tube, watching the scene from the corner of my eye as Derpy answered.
"Well, we actually had a question for you. We were wondering...." She trailed off, and gestured to Timmy with her arms, prompting him to speak up.
"Well, we wanted to know if, maybe, you uh... you would join our herd." He smiled a little too widely, obviously nervous as Colgate stood frozen. I managed to get the main fastener on the air hose handle undone, and the silence was broken as I dropped one of the pieces.
"You," Colgate finally began, "want me, in your herd?" She got up close to Time Turner, looking closely at his eyes. "Really?"
I collected the piece that fell, and put everything that I had disassembled in a neat group, preventing them from being mixed up as I watched Timmy nod nervously. Colgate's posture suddenly changed as she relaxed againsst him and a wide, sultry smile plastered itself across her muzzle.
"I thought you'd never ask." She shoved her lips against his, throwing him off balance and forcing him to fall into one of the other chairs. I shared a look with Derpy.
"Well that went faster than I expected."
Colgate broke away from the panting stallion beneath her, and turned to look at me.
"Why? Have you met this guy? He's the sweetest stallion in Ponyville. You're fun, Zephyr, but I've been hoping to get with this guy for years. I even made some passes at him during his appointments."
Time Turner cocked his head in surprise.
"You did?"
Every eye in the room looked at him, even Derpy's wanderer.
"What? I always thought it was my imagination."
Colgate made a low, lusty growl, and started rubbing herself against him.
"Derpy, could you flip the sign on the front door to 'closed', please? I need to make up for lost time." Derpy fluttered her wings, and left giggling as I held up the air tube to see what was inside. I could see something lumpy about a quarter of the way in, and got up to try and flush it out. I took a glance at Colgate and Turner. He had one hand squeezing her cutie mark, and the other running up and down her side. Derpy came back in, and leaned over them to inspect their performance. I ran the tube under hot water from the sink for several seconds, but with no results. I leaned back against the sink, trying to break up the material in the tube by squeezing it while I watched the make-out session begin to escalate.
Colgate shrugged off her coat to reveal black business pants and a green scrubs top, and Derpy rolled up Time Turner's shirt before pulling it off, throwing it on top of the coat. Timmy started pulling off the scrubs and Derpy pulled off her shirt as I looked down the tube again to find my efforts at breaking the lump were for naught. I tried hitting it against the counter once, just for the sake of the attempt, but nothing happened. Colgate broke the kiss with Timmy and began sliding down his body as an idea occurred to me. I went over to the row of drawers where I knew she kept her electric tools, and opened each until I found the heat gun for making plaster casts. I took it out, and leaned over the chair on the other side from where Derpy was holding Timmy's head against her bare breast, to get Colgate's attention while she sucked Time Turner's dick. As usual, she was making a lot of noise, too, forcing me to be loud.
"Hey, Colgate!"
She looked up as she continued bobbing her head. I held up the gun where she could see it.
"Okay if I borrow this?"
She nodded her head, then resumed slurping the cock in her mouth. I plugged in the heat gun, or 'directional heater', as the ponies called it, and aimed it at the area around the blockage in the tube. I turned the tube over as I heated it up, and stopped when I started having trouble holding it. I quickly shut off the heat gun and and put it down, then started kneading and twisting the tube, hoping the heat had loosened the blockage enough to get rid of it. As I did so, I could hear Time Turner grunt through Derpy's chest, and a short gag from Colgate followed by several seconds of silence. I heard Colgate pull off with a pop as she sucked him dry, then the sounds of her panting and Timmy gasping for air. I gave the tube one more squeeze, and felt something shift inside. I relaxed my grip on the tube, and held it up by one end, allowing several bits of dried, chalky something to fall out. I got a little closer as a wet squelching sound came from behind me, followed by a long, quiet whine from Colgate. A minty smell hit my nose as I was inspecting the debris from the tube, and it suddenly clicked that I was looking at toothpaste that had been sitting in the tube long enough to dry out and become a solid blockage.
I nearly hurled.
Fortunately, I was able to keep down my breakfast, and I grabbed a trash can and used a paper towel to wipe the toothpaste off the counter, followed by a good shaking of the tube to remove any particularly stubborn bits. I checked the tube again, and didn't see any other blockages down the length. Satisfied, I returned the trash can to its place and began reassembling the suction hose. Colgate, meanwhile, was being pounded from below as she rode on Time Turner's dick. As he fucked her, he massaged her ass with one hand, and held her breast still with the other so he could suck on it, while Colgate herself waged an obvious tongue war with Derpy. The two mares had their fingers completely entangled in each other's manes, and they were moving their mouths ferociously. I finished putting the hose back together as all three of their movements became more frantic, and packed up my tools as Timmy suddenly grabbed Colgate's hips with both hands, and shoved her as far down his dick as she would go, which still left a couple inches to go as he threw his head back and grit his teeth. She squeaked as Derpy tittered next to them, fluttering her wings and bouncing slightly. Finally, Time Turner's orgasm ended, and he relaxed, Colgate following close behind as she collapsed against his chest. Derpy started petting them both as I picked up my bag.
"Okay, Colgate, I'm done here. Turns out there was some dried-up toothpaste in there. I managed to get it out, though, so it should work fine, now. You want me to just leave you the bill?"
She nodded breathlessly.
"Alright, then. See you all later."
Colgate and Timmy smiled at me and Derpy gave a small wave as I left the trio to clean themselves up. I wrote a quick note for how much Colgate owed me, and left it on her appointment counter before exiting the building.
Now I just need to get rid of this boner. I'll bet Pinkie wouldn't mind a break.
The Sexiest Man in Equestria
As I headed for Sugarcube Corner, I suddenly heard a buzzing sound behind me, accompanied by the sound of squeaky wheels. I reflaxively flattened myself against the nearest wall, just in time to miss getting run over by the Cutie Mark Crusaders as they went zooming past. I shook my head in exasperation, and continued on my way, only to be landed upon by the very mare I was looking for.
"Zephyr! Zephyr Zephyr Zephyr Zephyr Zephyr ZephyrZephyrZephyrZephyr ZEPHYR!"
I rolled my hips to make sure she knew my current situation.
"No time for that right now, Zephyr!" She suddenly sprang up and hauled me to my feet. I braced my legs against the ground as she began pulling me along, and started dirt-skiing. "We need to get ready! Twilight's brother is getting married in two days, and we're all invited! The train leaves to-"
"MONSTER!!!"
Pinkie's explanation was suddenly cut off as Rose, Lily, and Daisy suddenly ran across our path, hollering about some far-off threat that was going to destroy the town. I stood back up properly as Pinkie looked down the road after them, and started heading in the direction the Flower Trio had fled from.
"I wonder what's got them all riled up this time?"
I walked down the road the last couple of blocks to the edge of town, where I could see a dust cloud in the distance, as well as a faint humming.
Vvrrrrrrrrrrrmmmmmmmm
I stared out at the small dot at the base of the dust cloud, shading my eyes so I could focus my eyes better at the long distance.
Vvvrrrrrrrrrrmmmmmmmm
As it got closer, the humming suddenly changed pitch, and I grinned. I turned to Pinkie, who was staring at me curiously.
"Pinkie, go ahead and finish packing your stuff. I'll meet up with you all at the station, okay?"
Vvvrrrrrrrrmmmmmmm
"Is everything alright? I've never heard a sound like that before."
Vvvrrrrrrrrrrrrrrmmmmmmmmm
"I have. Don't worry, it's fine. Besides, I'll need to get my stuff before I head over, anyway."
"Okie-dokie-lokie!"
She bounded off, and I turned back as the shape kicking up the dust cloud finally became clear. It was something I had told almost every pony I talked to about, and several had been trying to make one. Judging from the size, sound, and style, though, there was only one possibility:
Vinyl Scratch had finally built a car.
It was still relatively crude, with an obvious lack of shock absorbers, no glass, and a distinct lack of aerodynamics, but it drove, and that was what mattered. The main panelling was painted a pure white, with the smaller panels done in black and accented with gold trim. The nose was longer than what I was used to, but it was rounded at the front, giving the car a sleeker look than the original cars from Earth. In the driver's seat, I could see Vinyl wearing a pair of goggles and grinning wildly. The car suddenly pitched forward, sliding across the ground and turning slightly as the ground gave way to the machine. It stopped a few feet in front of me, and I shut my eyes and mouth as it kicked up more dust. When I was finally able to see again, Vinyl had already shut the car off and gotten out. She started dancing as she moved around the vehicle, obviously proud of herself.
"Awww, yeah. Who's the mare? Come on, let me hear you say it, Zephyr!" She leaned towards me and put a hand to her ear. I folded my arms and chuckled.
"Alright, Vinyl, today, you are the mare."
She stuck her arm straight up, and resumed dancing.
"That's right! Uh-huh! I'm bad! I'm bad! I'm makin' a new fad!"
I walked around the car as Vinyl continued her victory dance. The wheels were incredibly thin, and the back seat of the vehicle was pressed against the back wall, which stood vertically with no trunk. The seats themselves were barely existent, with right angles at the joining of the back and the seat itself, with minimal padding.
"Well, it's primitive, but it's a car, alright." I finished walking around it to see Vinyl put her goggles over her horn and stare at me flabbergasted.
"'Primitive'?! This is the single most advanced piece of technology in Equestria! How is this beautiful machine 'primitive' in any way?" She folded her arms at me and leaned on one leg. I smiled.
"How fast can it go?"
She blinked.
"Huh?"
"How fast can it go?"
"Uh, I just had it topped out. Why? Did you expect it to go faster?"
"Not really, no. It's about what I expected for a first try. It's just not very impressive, compared to the top-end stuff back home."
Vinyl grinned amusedly, obviously not believing that there had been anything especially more impressive on Earth.
"Oh, really? And how fast can your 'top-end' stuff go?"
"As I recall, the fastest supercar on the market could go just under ten times faster than that."
Vinyl's jaw dropped.
"If it makes you feel any better, cars like that were considered little more than ways for especially rich people to show off. A lot of people didn't even know most of those cars existed. I certainly never laid eyes on them."
Vinyl squeaked in disbelief, and I clapped a hand on her shoulder.
"Don't worry about it. We've had about a century to improve. This is your first one. And for the record, it actually looks a little nicer than our first few tries."
She shrugged.
"Yeah, I guess. I still can't believe how fast your good ones can go, though. Makes me look a little pathetic."
"Just keep improving. Don't worry, with the way things work around here, ponies will be driving around in supercars within your lifetime."
"If you say so." She suddenly perked back up and looked at me suggestively. "So anyway, you doing anything tonight? Or should I say, anypony ?"
I refolded my arms.
"Probably. I started a pack not long ago, and I now have three lovely mares with a permanent reservation in my bed."
Vinyl stared at me slack-jawed for a moment before shaking her head back to full functionality.
"You started a herd?! Without me ?" She bent at the waist to show off her cleavage, and gave me her best sad-eyes. "Why would you do that?"
"Because," I explained as I struggled not to laugh at her expression, "I had no way of reaching you, and you're already with Octavia. Besides, I knew you wouldn't take long to build a car, and as soon as it was done, you would want to show it off to me. I figured once Octavia got here, the two of you could meet my mares, and then we all decide whether or not you join together."
Vinyl returned to a full standing position, and thought about it.
"Alright, fine. It's going to have to wait a few days, though. I've got a gig up in Canterlot for a wedding in two days."
"Really? Who's the groom?"
She shrugged.
"Some high-ranking Guard member."
"Well, then, that's perfect. Twilight just got an invitation, herself. It's her brother, and the rest of her friends are going, as well. Apparently the invitation included me, too."
Vinyl smiled suggestively.
"You know, we could go up there now, and get a head start on the after-party." She swished her tail.
"Sorry, Vinyl. I don't think Twilight and Pinkie would appreciate that."
Her eyes suddenly went wide.
"Wait a second. You're telling me that you're shooting your load into two of the Elements of Harmony on a regular basis?!"
I nodded.
"Suddenly I don't feel bad about not knowing until now. Anyway, since you're heading up there with them, I suppose I'll let you off the hook, just this once. When that wedding is over, though, I expect a chance to have your cock in my mouth. You'd better not forget."
"Oh, don't worry, I won't. You should probably start heading up now, though. That thing might have some trouble on the incline."
She nodded in agreement, and put her goggles back on as she moved back to the driver's door.
"I'll see you up there, Zephyr. Let the other two know that I want in, too. I don't want to suddenly come up with hugs and kisses for everyone and have them get angry at me."
"Don't worry, I will."
She got in, turned the car on, and backed out before zooming away around the town to get to the mountain road. I headed back to my house. Inside, I headed to the far end of the lower-level hallway, and looked carefully at the edge of the wall, near the ceiling. After a moment, I spotted what I was looking for: a small divot in the wall, in the shape of a semicircle. I grabbed the edge, and pulled down. A small section of the wall pulled away like a lever, and I put more strength into pulling. The entire wall along the hallway began to lower, and the sound of metal against metal came from the entire length of the hall. Behind it, a second wall stood flush with the back, and a metal door stood about halfway down, built so that it left no space between itself and the moving wall. I pushed the lever all the way to the floor, and two loud clicks sounded as the locks under the floor held the wall in place. I moved to the door, and pushed against two half-circles of metal to grasp the handle between them. I turned it, and the door swung in to reveal a tight spiral staircase leading down. At the bottom, my lab sat dark, unused for over a week from everything that had been happening. I turned on one of the many lights inside, and gathered what I needed. A large, impressively-decorated sword, and two bracelets. I turned the light back off, and returned to the main house. With the door resealed, I pulled the wall back up, assisted by the spring-pulley system I had built to hold the wall in place. I then returned the lever to its original position, locking it all down. I went upstairs and got my guitar, then crossed it with the sword on my back after putting on one of my light jackets to cover the bracelets from casual glances. With the addition of a piece of string and a deck of cards, I was ready to go.
--
"You are not bringing that to the wedding."
Twilight glared at me, arms folded, as her friends watched from one side. I put my hands up defensively to try and calm her down.
"Of course not! Luna just told me that there have been more crimes lately than usual, so I want to have some insurance. It's not like I'm going to bring it to the ceremony. And besides, if they ask me to fork it over for security, you know I won't argue. I promise, it won't cause problems, okay?"
She leaned forward threateningly.
"Pinkie Promise?"
I sighed, and went through the motions.
"Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye." I covered my eye with my hand, instead of jabbing my fingers into it, like most ponies did, and Twilight relaxed slightly.
"Alright, but if somepony even suggests that you should put it away, it doesn't come back out except for legitimate emergencies, alright?"
"That was already my plan."
She heaved a sigh, and turned towards the train nearby.
"Alright, let's go."
Pinkie latched onto my arm as soon as everything was decided, and I twirled her around to hold her closer. She nuzzled my chest as we began walking and my thoughts drifted off.
I just really hope I don't need to use my real weapon.
The Sexiest Man in Equestria
As the train to Canterlot trundled along, I sat comfortably half-awake between Pinkie and Twilight. They were all talking about how exciting everything was, and I caught snippets of what was being said as I slipped in and out of consciousness. I was shaken awake and I could hear some concerned tones of voice as we neared Canterlot, and looked out the window to see what had them so excited.
I became fully awake when I saw a huge pink bubble surrounding the city. The bubble came down just past the station, where a pair of guards were standing at the front of a line of ponies, checking possessions. The girls and Spike all wondered aloud what was happening as I scowled. Twilight turned back to me and I wiped the bad look off my face.
"Did you know about this?"
"I didn't think it was this bad.... We"ll have to find out what's been going on, here."
The train began slowing down as we approached, and everyone gathered their belongings. I pulled my sword and guitar out from the overhead compartment, and strapped them on as the others filed out. I exited onto the platform, and nearly ran into Pinkie's backside, where she had stopped. Looking ahead, I could see that we were at the back of the line of ponies having their belongings checked.
All the magic you could ever ask for, and it'll still probably take us an hour to get through this security check. Hurgh.
I resigned myself to my fate, and made use of my position behind Pinkie to grope her butt a little. She giggled a little, and flicked her tail at me. Fortunately, the line moved faster than I thought it would, and it only took about forty minutes for us to make it to the front. By the time we got there, Pinkie's tail was nearly flailing at my arm as she tried to control herself. I stopped when Rarity, the furthest forward of the group, got her bags checked, allowing Pinkie time to compose herself. She turned her head back and grinned slyly at me, swatting my leg with her tail.
"Bad Zephyr," she whispered playfully, "you should know better than to get a mare horny in public."
I grinned back as Rarity was cleared to pass and Rainbow took her place.
"Well, you'll have plenty of time to decide how to rectify that while you're working, if what little I heard on the train was accurate. It sounded like you all will be busy."
"What are you going to be doing?"
Rainbow's single bag was cleared, and Fluttershy moved forward at Applejack's gentle push.
"A couple of things. Spar with Shining, hopefully. Knock a couple of too-proud recruits and nobles down a peg or ten. Maybe catch up with Celestia a bit." I paused for effect. "Luna."
Fluttershy was cleared as Pinkie giggle-snorted, and Twilight looked back over her shoulder at us to make sure we were behaving, then moved forward as Applejack's bags were checked.
"So, what about tonight?"
"Maybe. It's been a while since Luna had my full attention, though, so she might get me to herself tonight."
She flicked her tail at me disappointedly.
"So when am I going to get you to myself?"
"Soon. Probably after the ceremony. Twilight will be busy with her family, and Luna will have started her night shift, which leaves us to do as we please."
Applejack's bags were cleared, and Twilight took her place as Pinkie perked back up and wagged her tail.
"Alright, then. I can live with that. Besides, Luna works reeeeaaaaally hard. She deserves some attention to herself."
"Glad to know you approve."
Twilight passed through the checkpoint, and Pinkie moved up as I noticed Spike was already on the other side. He hadn't brought any bags, so it didn't surprise me any. Once Pinkie was deemed unthreatening (they couldn't seem to actually empty her bag), the gurads let her pass and turned to me. I smiled and waved, and both of them stared at the sword on my back.
"You are aware," one of them began, "that there are no weapons allowed in the city, correct?"
"What?" I asked with faux confusion, "My guitar? That's not a weapon."
The other guard facepalmed as the first one gave me a deadpan look.
"Not the instrument, the sword."
"Really? But that's my sparring sword! I wanted to get in a round or two with Shining before he had to get ready, help him relax a bit. Look, I'll even prove it's not dangerous." I pulled the sword out, rested the blade on my palm, and drew the edge across my skin. The blade came away clean, and I showed off my uninjured hand. "See? Harmless."
Neither of them seemed impressed.
"Sir, the city is currently in lockdown. We are not allowed to let in anyone with a weapon. Now are you going to hand it over or not?"
I sighed dramatically.
"Fine, if I must. Just make sure it doesn't get hurt. No extra scratches, okay?" I resheathed it and handed him the whole thing.
"Yes, fine. We'll be sure it remains in good condition. Thank you." They set it in a bin, and let me through.
I guess it's worse than I thought.
Shining had put up a standing order some time ago that I was to be allowed entrance to the city under any circumstances, after I had soundly thrashed him and his six best subordinates all at once in a sparring match, proving that I wouldn't need weapons to take over if I wanted to. As I shrugged innocently to Twilight and we continued on our way to the castle, I wondered what was really going on. I thought harder about the two guards, remembering small details, and realized that neither of them were who they appeared to be. Ponies didn't usually have good enough eyes for detail, but during the collective time I had spent in Canterlot, I had learned how to identify different members of the guard, and had memorized the entirety of the upper echelons of the force. Both of the guards at the station had been wearing armor with Major symbols, but no pony of that rank had arm fur as smooth as those two. Most of them even fluffed out their arm fur, to make themselves seem a little bigger to other ponies.
Those two were impostors. They weren't using illusions, though, I would have noticed that. Which means that whoever those two really are can use full-body transformation spells. Great.
Twilight suddenly started yelling, and we stopped while Shining Armor came down to greet us.
If those two were fakes, though, then that means there could be eyes and ears anywhere and everywhere. I need to get to Luna.
"And just who is this 'Princess Mi Amore Cadenza' anyway?"
"Twily, Princess Mi Amore Cadenza is Cadence, your old foalsitter."
Twilight immediately perked up at this, and she was nearly overcome with emotion as a bright pink alicorn came out of the castle looking for Shining. I immediately knew something was up. She was certainly something to look at, but the way she moved and spoke was all wrong. I didn't know her, but I knew Shining Armor, and he would never marry a pony like this. Twilight suddenly started dancing and chanting, and shook her butt in a way that would have had me aroused, if not for Cadence's reaction.
"What are you doing?" she asked incredulously.
Performing what was obviously a form of private personal greeting, which you failed to even recognize. I answered silently. A ten-year-old could figure you out. I looked around at the assembled ponies, who seemed to shrug off the incident as uninteresting, and resisted the urge to facepalm at the obliviousness they were displaying as Shining introduced all of us.
"-and this is Zephyr Arvrkar."
I returned my attention to the conversation as Shining's phony wife looked at me with wide-eyed interest.
"My, my. I've never seen anything like you before. And what are you, precisely?" Her tone was uppity and had a note of condescension, confirming my belief that something was wrong with Shining's head. I put on my best fake confidence.
"Human. One of a kind, on this world. Nice to meet you."
She got closer to me, and bent over to show me her cleavage as she continued speaking.
"Well, you are most interesting. You must have had quite a bit of trouble fitting in with ponies, am I right? Especially if those sharp teeth I see indicate anything about your diet."
I shrugged, keeping my eyes locked on hers.
"There were some rumors and a little fear, sure, but it wasn't that difficult. I just had to play nice and make myself useful. After that, they just got used to me."
She seemed suspicious of my answer, and stood back up as she looked at me quizzically.
"Oh really? We'll have to speak further on that topic later, then. For now, though, I should show the rest of you what you'll be doing here. I'm afraid I didn't account for another member in the party."
I waved my hand dismissively.
"Not a problem. It's been a while since Luna and I got some time together, so I'll go catch up with her. I'll see the rest of you later, alright?"
The girls and Shining all waved as I left, and I headed off to Luna's tower, taking in every detail of my surroundings as I walked. I noticed several guards watching me as I went, confirming my suspicion that the force had been fully infiltrated. I finally got to Luna's tower, and climbed the stairs two at a time. When I got to the top, I saw Night Ray and Moonshot, Luna's best guards, at their posts.
Or am I seeing impostors?
"Hello, boys!" I greeted. "How ya doing today?"
Both of them smiled at me, and Night Ray opened the door.
"Just fine, Zephyr. Luna's waiting for you."
I guess that answers my question.
I went in, and immediately froze. I didn't see Luna anywhere, until I looked up. She was inside some sort of cocoon, along with the real Night Ray and Moonshot, suspended from the ceiling. I felt something impact my back, and went sprawling to the floor. I quickly got up on my hands and knees, then somersaulted forward when I heard movement behind me. I rose back to my feet, and turned around ready to fight.
"You are a threat to the success of this operation," they said in unison. "You will be subdued and harvested."
"Sorry, but unless that's an innuendo for something much more pleasant, I'm going to have to disagree with your assessment of the situation."
They both lunged at me, and I dodged the fake Moonshot so I could redirect the fake Night Ray into him. They crashed to the ground, and I looked around for a weapon. Spotting the fireplace, I rushed over and grabbed the poker from its holding place. The doppelgangers recovered, and drew their swords. Night Ray's copy rushed me first with an overhead strike, and I blocked it before driving my fist straight into his muzzle. He recoiled as the fake Moonshot came at me from the side, and I blocked his attack as well so I could grab his helmet and rip it off. I threw it across the room, and slapped him, making him step back with a confused look. I saw the fake Night Ray coming at me again, and swung the poker at his sword as I raised my arm defensively, shattering the blade. The pieces bounced off my clothes, but a few hit my skin, drawing blood from my hand and the back of my neck. It wasn't bad enough to warrant immediate medical attention, though, so I didn't worry about it. The doppelganger backed up a couple steps and stared at the broken weapon, giving me a chance to swing the poker again, this time against his head. It clanged against the metal, and his eyes went wide for a moment before they closed and he crumpled to the floor in a heap. Moonshot's copy tried an overhead again, and this time I angled the poker so the the blade slid along the length, catching on the hook near the end. I grabbed his arm, spun the poker so the hook was on the back, and swung in a wide arc, bringing it down on his collarbone. His eyes went wide and his body went limp, and I moved my hand from his arm to his throat as he dropped his sword.
When I did this, a change seemed to come over him. His eyes seemed to refocus, and he began struggling in earnest as he spoke in a much different tone than before.
"No, please! Stop!"
I narrowed my eyes, letting him know I was in no mood for games.
"Why should I?" I stopped squeezing so he could speak.
"I'm not your enemy! I didn't want to do any of this! It's her. She's been controlling us."
"What do you mean?"
"We can communicate, with our minds. She's been using that to force her will on us! We never would have done this, except for her! "
"Who?"
The doppelganger suddenly started panicking.
"No! No, I won't go back! Hit me! Hit me now!"
I suddenly realized that he was being put back under control, and struck the back of his head, rendering him unconscious.
"Well, now I know who needs punishment. First, though...." I looked back up at the cocoons that held my mare and her guards, and started looking around for a way to get them down. Before long, I had moved almost every piece of furniture in the room to become a platform that I could climb onto and pull them out, depositing each one onto the bed afterward. I got Night Ray and Moonshot out first, then pulled Luna out and sat down with her in my lap.
"Luna. Luuuuunnaaaaa." I shook her gently to wake her up, and after a few tries her eyelids fluttered open.
"Wha...? Ooohh... What hath happened? Where-Zephyr? What' is going on?"
I pulled her close and rested my chin on her head.
"An invasion, by the looks of it. Just not one the invaders agree with."
She moved back and looked up at me, obviously still recovering.
"What doth thou mean? All was in order, last we saw."
"Don't worry, I can handle this. I'm pretty sure I already know who the ringleader is, I just need to get everyone else ready."
She leaned against my neck again.
"We had been hoping to spend time with thee."
"I know. I was planning on spending time with you, too. Don't worry, though. I'll be back later."
She nodded, and I moved her onto the bed before giving her a kiss goodbye. The two impostors wouldn't wake up until Luna was able to deal with them, so I headed back out to find Twilight. Chances were good she had already figured out something was amiss. I just had to convince the others.
That would be the hard part.
The Sexiest Man in Equestria
As I walked down the hallway, I abruptly became aware of a dripping sound, and I looked down to find a small trail of blood drops.
"Whoops." As I remembered that I was injured, the pain suddenly made mounted a full-frontal assault on my consciousness, and I shuddered and hissed as I fought it back down. Thinking quickly, I remembered that Pinkie had kept various objects all over Ponyville in case of emergencies. I looked around, and noticed a trash can in a small nook in the wall. I looked past it, and lying on floor in the nook was a medical box.
Never thought I'd be so happy for Pinkie's seeming randomness.
I had long ago discovered that Pinkie had reasoning behind all her actions, it was simply faster and more roundabout than most could handle normally. Fortunately, I had learned some of the patterns of her behaviour, and I was glad I did as I opened the box and found disinfectant and a roll of bandages, as well as large adhesive bandages, which I used on my neck. I used the roll of bandaging inside to wrap my arm, and continued on my way once it was all put away again. After all, it wouldn't do to show up to a wedding crash all bloody. When I got to the wedding hall, though, I could already hear Twilight calling out the fake Cadence. A few seconds later, the phony ran out of the room, obviously crying with fake tears. The rest of the girls, Shining, and Celestia followed soon after. They all seemed worried about 'Cadence', and I slipped in after they left to find Twilight crying on the stairs. She looked up as I approached, and a pleading look was in her eyes.
"Zephyr... Is it really her? What's going on?"
I sat down next to my mare and pulled her close.
"Don't worry, Twilight. Everything's going to be alright."
"Heh heh heh... Nothing is going to be alright. Not for you."
I looked behind us at the source of the voice, and saw 'Cadence' standing there, a wicked smile on her face and her horn alight with a sick green glow. Green fire suddenly formed around Twilight and I, and I could feel the floor below us giving way. Twilight whimpered in fear.
God-damned gate magic.
--
When my senses finally came back to me and I didn't feel like an amorphous blob, I noticed Twilight's voice, as well as another. My eyes finally refocused, and I saw Twilight standing nearby, arguing with the image of 'Cadence' in the crystals that surrounded us. I forced my body to move, and stood up on shaky legs as Twilight began blasting the crystals. I could hear laughter, and saw Twilight run off, following the images as they retreated and trying to destroy the false pony who appeared on them. As she got further away, a full-body image of 'Cadence' appeared on a nearby crystal.
"So, my little human, do you see now how little the ponies care for you? She's more interested in destroying me than making sure you're okay."
"Good," I rasped as my voice finally started working again. The image chuckled.
"Playing the tough guy won't get you anywhere. I have an interest in you, though, unlike them. I've never seen anything like you before. Come now, certainly you don't actually believe that these ponies will want you to stay? I, however, enjoy having strange beings nearby. Swear loyalty to me, and I will ensure you never go hungry again. Swear to me, and I will give you everything you could ever want."
"Fuck you." I was regaining my fine motor control, now. The image cooed at me.
"Ooh, I like that idea. So much love in sex. More delicious, as well."
It suddenly clicked as I stood up straight.
"You eat emotions. No wonder you're so afraid of ponies, then, if you're vampiric like that."
The image's demeanor suddenly changed to fury.
"AFRAID?! I am NOT afraid of these pathetic ponies! They are food, nothing more."
I chuckled and yawned.
"Yeah, we'll see. It looks like your little game is over, anyway. Your illusions led Twilight right to the real Cadence."
The image disappeared, and I stretched as the two mares approached. The fake Cadence had gotten the physical appearance right, but the real one moved much more gracefully and gently. There was no sense of superiority or station, just a mare who cared about the ones around her. She was wearing the remains of what used to be a nice dress, and her fur, mane and tail were all disheveled and frazzled, but she still managed to pull of the look of a true member of royalty.
"Zephyr, are you alright? We heard voices," Twilight said as she did a quick once-over on me for injuries.
"Oh, I'm dandy. The royal bitch upstairs tried to make a deal with me, and ended up spilling the beans on how I can bring this whole operation down around her ears. We just need to get up there, first."
"Before we go, I don't think we've been introduced yet."
I turned back to see Cadence smiling at us. She curtsied as she introduced herself.
"I am Princess Mi Amore Cadenza. You can just call me Cadence, though."
I bowed in return.
"Zephyr Arvrkar. Just 'Zephyr' is fine, though."
She giggled, and started moving.
"I think I saw some light this way."
As we began moving, I could feel the air shifting in a rhythm, and within seconds, Cadence was singing with the Music of Harmony. When we got to the end of the song, we were in a minecart, barrelling towards a broken section that was not long enough for us to make the jump to the exit at the top of a cliff in front of us. As I expected, the cart fell short. Cadence managed to grab Twilight and fly the rest of the way, but I knew my weight would drag her down too much. I launched myself off the minecart, and slammed against the cliff wall, barely catching a small protrusion. I managed to get another handhold, and began climbing, pushing with my legs as best I could on the almost-shear surface. I could hear voices at the top, and then yelling, and as I neared the edge, Cadence and Twilight appeared above me, and each of them grabbed one of my hands to help me up. Once I was back on solid ground I noticed a three-way fight in a small nook of the cave with Lyra, Colgate, and another mare I didn't recognize.
Why are Lyra and Colgate here? And why are they ripping each other's... dresses... off.... I snapped my gaze back to Twilight and Cadence, and followed them as the sound of tearing cloth followed us out. As we moved through the castle, it became apparent to me that whatever had been taking place had begun a long time ago. The guards were missing from the hallways, and while there were certainly more being deployed to the city to keep the citizens safe, there should have been at least a few still inside. However, the halls were practically empty, and as we neared the wedding area, we could hear the sounds of the wedding.
The real one, not the rehearsal.
All three of us double-timed down the last hall, and as we approached the big double-doors, I put on some extra speed to pull ahead.
"Please, ladies. Allow me."
I pushed on both doors to find them well-oiled, and gave an extra shove at the end to throw them open.
"Hello, ladies and gentlecolts!" Every head in the room turned towards me, and I could see the fake Cadence's face twist with rage. "Now presenting, the real Princess Mi Amore Cadenza!" I made a grand gesture, followed with a bow, and stepped to one side as she came in, moving with both anger and grace(another thing only those with adequate amounts of fanciness can pull off).
As the crowd began slowly panicking, Cadence filled in the few blanks that I still had left on my color-by-numbers for the situation.
"Her name is Chrysalis. She's a changeling. She can take the form of any other pony, and feeds off the love of those around her."
The phony was suddenly engulfed in green flame, and a completely different creature stood there when they subsided. She appeared to be a cross between a pony and a bug, with black chitin, insectoid wings, and a 'crown' that appeared to be made of small antennae, though that may have just been the angle. She had two large fangs that protruded from her mouth, hair with the consistency of seaweed, and there were holes in her arms and legs, though what purpose they could serve was beyond me. The ponies in the room began panicking in earnest, and I pulled Twilight out of the way as most of them fled.
"So you escaped. It doesn't matter anymore," she bragged as the guards in the room were quickly neutralized by other changelings who had disguised themselves as guards. "My army has gathered more than enough energy to deal with your precious guards, and I have enough to hold all of you!"
"I will not allow it!" Princess Celestia jumped into the air, and hovered with great flaps of her wings as she fired a beam of concentrated magic at the Queen Bug. Chrysalis responded with her own beam, and after a short battle of wills, beat Celestia.
Wait, what?
I stood there dumbfounded as Twilight and her friends rushed to Celestia's side, switching my gaze between the fallen princess and the bitch. Twilight and her friends ran out to get the Elements of Harmony, obviously confident of their success. I watched them leave, then closed my mouth, steepled my fingers, and gathered my thoughts as I slowly turned back around. Chisel-less was now posing triumphantly at the top of the stairs, Shining Armor now fully brain-dead as far as I could tell, with a smug grin as changelings began surrounding both Cadence and Celestia, who had gone unconscious. I walked slowly forward toward Celestia, and several changelings moved around me as little miss overconfident smirked at me. Fortunately, I had left my guitar with Luna, so I didn't need to worry about it getting damaged over the course of the next half an hour.
"If you're hoping to save yourself, my previous offer is closed. If you beg me to spare you, though, I'll consider keeping you as my pet." She chuckled, and I shook my head as I looked down at Celestia.
"No, no. I won't be the one in chains when this is over, I can assure you of that."
She laughed outright, and looked at me in amused curiosity.
"And how can you assure me of that? The princess is defeated, my army guards the vault with the Elements, and the leader of the entire Royal Guard is now under my control. Unless you plan to run, of course. Save yourself, start over somewhere else, perhaps?"
"No." I looked up at her calmly and seriously. "You're going to lose. Even if they don't succeed in getting the Elements, even if you beat every pony here, you will lose."
"How? Are you going to beat me somehow? All by yourself?"
"Yes."
She laughed uncontrollably, and I saw Cadence give me a worried look. Several changelings seemed to gain some clarity as Crystal-ass lost control, and several gave me various looks of pity or confusion.
"I find it amusing that you think this is impossible."
She started gathering herself again, and the changelings went back under.
"Of course it's impossible! I have an army, and you have nothing! I could kill you with but a thought, if I wanted to!"
I moved away from Celestia, then spread my arms wide and smiled at the queen.
"Do it, then."
She seemed genuinely surprised for a moment, then smiled again.
"Very well, as you wish." She collected a ball of energy at the end of her horn, then sent it flying at my head. It impacted my nose and burst, leaving me with spots in my eyes from the light and a slightly itchy nose from the turbulence of the air. She reeled back, and I saw Cadence's jaw drop from the corner of my eye, where I could still see properly.
"Was that it? Because you'll have to try a lot harder than that to kill me."
The queen shook with rage, then began hovering in place with a loud buzz as she gathered more energy.
"Fine, then! Let's see how well you absorb this!" She fired a large beam of energy at me, which burned through my shirt and jacket, leaving me bare-chested, but unharmed. She stared at me, speechless.
"Oh, did I forget to mention that I'm immune to magic?"
As if on cue, the double doors opened again, allowing Twilight and her friend entrance as they were herded in by several changelings.
"Well, I guess that means I really don't have a choice, at this point." I tapped my wrists together twice, knocking the small gems on my bracelets together before holding them a moment, as though in thought. I reached into my back pocket, and pulled out the piece of string I had brought. I then walked over to Cadence as everyone else in the room watched me in confusion. "Princess Cadence, would you happen to have ay rings on you?"
"Um, yes, here." She handed me a small, cheap-looking ring from her finger, obviously something she had had for a long time, judging from the wear on it, and I moved back to the center of the room as I threaded the ring onto the string.
"So, I'm going to give you all a little lesson on humans, using this ring and this string. First, though, I will need two volunteers." I feigned looking over the crowd, then pointed to Twilight and Pinkie. I heard a small rustling, and noticed Celestia was coming to her senses as my mares stood on either side of me as I directed. "Now, I would like you all to keep your eyes on the ring, in particular." I laid the threaded ring on my palm, and held it up as Schnitzel-mess watched in suspicion and confusion. "The ring is now in my palm. This begins our lesson on humans. Most humans have a relatively obvious starting point, whether it be a home, a vehicle, or something else. One can always find a human by beginning at the point of origin. However..." I turned my hand over, and reached with my other hand to grab the string, running it through my fingers tightly as I pulled it taught and gave it to Pinkie. "...sometimes, this is not enough. In order to find out where a human has gone in their life, one must keep track of small details." I snuck the ring out of my closed fingers, and grabbed it with my second hand, keeping it hidden from view as I pulled the other half of the string taught and gave it to Twilight. I stuck my hand in my pocket, and deposited the ring as my mares relaxed slightly and the string returned to a slack position. "If one does not keep track of everything a human has done in their life, then finding out where that human has gone and what they have done during their life becomes nearly impossible. Now, Twilight, Pinkie, when I say 'three', I want you to give a small tug on the string, okay?"
They both nodded.
"One... two... three!" They tugged on the string and I opened my hand, revealing that the ring was no longer there. I held my hand up for all to see, and the queen blinked in surprise as I heard a whining sound at the edge of my audio range.
"Where did it go?!"
Twilight and Pinkie both looked at me in shock as well, and I smiled in self-satisfaction as I sent them back to stand with their friends.
"As you can see, humans are easy to misread, and are masters of deception. Now, for my next trick I shall turn into a pegasus."
I heard Rainbow snort as the whining turned into a low roar.
"That's a trick I'd like to see!"
On cue, the window at the center behind the altar shattered as a large golden object crashed through it, straight at me. It turned at the last moment, flipping and attaching itself to my head as the momentum dragged my body clear off the floor. I backflipped as more of my body was covered in gold, and slid several feet after landing as the plates covering my limbs finished aligning themselves. I stood, and the heads-up display lit up the faceplate in front of me as the sensory feedback switches in the armor synced up with my electrical patterns. The metal wings on my back splayed out, and I gave them a few experimental flaps as I got accustomed to the new joints. I stretched out my body, checking my range of motion and the mobility of the armor pieces, and then set myself in a combat pose.
"My name is Zephyr Arvrkar. I was born in the United States of America, planet Earth. I am a nuclear engineer, rank of Petty Officer, in the United States Navy. Prepare for an ass-whooping."
Author's Note
I'm surprised no one's noticed the other reference I made with Time Turner. Can you find the one I made here?
The Sexiest Man in Equestria
I flew straight at the queen, barrelling into her torso headfirst and knocking her down.
"What's the matter? I thought your victory was assured. Or were you just too stupid to know when something won't work?"
She gasped a few more times, then stood back up.
"I am more than capable of destroying you, you insolent little foal!" She tried to blast me with magic again, and I swatted it away, the plates on my hand moving as I did so the magic would impact my skin.
"No. No, you are not. Because I am an apex predator, and you aren't."
I began walking towards her, swatting away more magic as she futilely attempted to slow me down.
"You see, on my world, we don't have magic. Just our own skills. But here? Here, there is an entire, untapped energy source, which can be harnessed and controlled for the betterment of others. I designed this suit as an augmentation and safety device. It is designed to assist the wearer in doing more difficult tasks, or allow the wearer to move quickly during an emergency. I would never have been able to do this on my world."
I swatted a final ball of magic away, and grabbed the queen's horn.
"Of course, I wasn't able to do more than a couple of prototype frames for the arms at first, but a couple of months spent getting copyrights on songs this world has never heard before has done wonders for my funding. A few fake names and a couple extra pickup boxes at the post office, and I have enough spread in my materials orders to keep suspicion off me."
I threw her into the pews, knocking over several and breaking one.
"Fortunately, I finished testing the systems on this one a couple weeks ago, and I was able to make a few final tweaks on the struts before having it fly all the way out here."
She stood back up, and snarled at me as her wings buzzed in anger.
"Do you know what the best part is, though? Once I'm done putting down your pathetic little incursion, here, this armor is going to be seen as even more impressive. Because, hey, 'it beat a changeling queen, what could it do for you?' I'm going to make enough money off of this to fund the entire effort to save the rest of these changelings from the fallout of how badly you fucked up."
Her eyes went wide, and she lunged at me. I fell backward as she flew over me, using the flight gems to keep myself from hitting the floor. She landed a few feet away, and I returned to an upright position facing her.
"I WILL NOT FAIL IN THIS! These are MY changelings, and they do as I command!" She stood up straight, and pointed at me. "KILL HIM!"
Every changeling in the room bum-rushed me, and I decided to return the favor. I flew straight at the tyrant again, and this time, I grabbed her muzzle, clamping it shut as I drove my feet into the tiles and stopped.
"You're done now."
I slammed her head down onto the floor, and a loud crack rang through the hall, cutting through even the roar of wings behind me. I saw flecks of black litter the floor around the point of impact, and heard the muffled scream of pain as my victim scrambled against my hand. Turning around, however, showed that I was correct. Breaking her concentration hard enough broke her control over the others, and the horde began landing, turning the sound of buzzing wings back into background noise. A few, however, still had angry snarls to be heard. One of them came up and looked straight at my face as he spoke.
"You have freed us, but as you said, she will have caused numerous problems for us. She must be punished."
A wave of angry murmurs of agreement swept through the changelings present. I shifted my grip from Chesty-lust's face to her horn, allowing her sobs to echo freely around the room, then began dragging her through the crowd.
"Not my call." I pulled her along the floor, and she squirmed the whole way until I threw her forward, depositing her at Celestia's hooves. The Princess of the Sun had finally recovered, and she looked pissed. "What do you think her punishment should be, Celestia?"
A beat passed, then two, and Celestia took a deep breath.
"Simply for the crimes I have seen with my own eyes, the only punishment that would normally be permitted is death. However, I refuse to follow up a royal wedding with a royal execution, so I currently have no options available to me. For now, you will be locked in the dungeon, until we have found a suitable fate for you to suffer. Guards!"
Several guards appeared through the crowd as the changelings made way for them. They slipped an inhibitor ring on her horn, locked her arms behind her back, then started marching her out of the room on wobbly legs. As they got to the door, I noticed Shining Armor and Cadence holding one another, and called for the guards to wait.
"I have one last thing to say to her." I got close, and lifted my faceplate so I could whisper in her ear. "You see that? Do you see Shining Armor and Cadence over there? They love one another. And you know what? They also love the ponies they protect. And you could have had that, too. Not through force, or guile, or anything else. All you had to do was play nice. All you had to do was think about what someone else would want. I know Shining. He would have at least given you a chance, once he deemed you weren't a threat. But you didn't. Instead, you chose to simply take what you wanted. You chose to try and force others to do your bidding, without giving anything else in return. And now, instead of being able to live with the ponies nicely, you fucked it all up for your entire species. In the same amount of time it took you to put this invasion together, you probably could have been a part of the wedding, right next to Cadence. You could have ensured your entire hive's survival for generations to come. Instead, you're being dragged away in shackles, and the rest of us are going to have to spend a lot of time and money getting all these changelings new lives. Lives they could have already had, if you had just come and asked nicely. A life you could have had, if you hadn't been such a bitch."
She started sobbing anew, and the sounds quickly turned to keening wails of misery as she was dragged off, her legs no longer containing the strength to hold her up. The rest of the changelings watched her go, and several of them left the room to follow. I didn't really care why, and turned back to the ponies in the room just in time to get slapped by Twilight. With my faceplate up and my guard down, I had no way of taking the blow properly, and nearly fell over before using my flight gems to straighten back up.
"And just when were you going to tell us you had a set of flight-capable battle armor?!" she demanded with justified anger. I collected myself, and rubbed my cheek where she had hit me.
"When I had gotten the patents, which, before you ask, would have been maybe a week from now. I sent the papers in a couple days ago."
With her questions answered, Twilight took another look at my suit. It didn't have much protection, as it was still a prototype, with barely enough to protect me from most small objects that would be found while flying at high speed, such as bugs, larger dust particles that had been kicked up during the day-to-day activities of others, and small birds that decide getting directly in front of fast-moving objects is a good idea. Most of my torso was still bare, save for the chest and back plates holding my wings on. A pair of shoulder guards and short gauntlets were the only coverings on my arms, to hold the magically-charged gems that powered the tracking and autopilot abilities. My thighs were covered almost entirely in straps and buckles for flight, held in place with strips of metal so the automatic suit-up would work properly. The boots were made of thin metal, with more magically-charged flight gems, to supplement the ones on the wing struts. Finally, she looked back up at me, obviously still unhappy, but no longer murderous.
"I'm not going to let this go, you know."
"Oh, I don't expect you to. You were going to be the first one to see it, until this whole mess. Oh, before I forget..." I pulled the lower half of my helmet apart, and the entire suit began releasing me. I stepped away once I was free, and the suit folded down in a crouch as the wings wrapped around it, forming an egg shape. The slight glow of the crystals faded, and everyone else, especially Twilight, stared in disbelief. She turned back to me and jabbed a finger at the curled-up suit.
"How did you do that?! I've never seen a spell that advanced, and you don't even have magic!"
I grinned at her.
"Who said anything about a spell?"
Her face went blank in confusion, along with most of the other ponies in the room.
"Remember how I said the Music of Harmony has its own will? When I first figured that out, I theorized that all magic has a similar semi-consciousness. It turned out, I was right. By using these crystals, I was able to 'hear' what it was 'saying'. I found that simply thinking hard enough about a particular activity while in contact with one of the crystals would allow it to happen. I started with the pegasus suit first, since that would require the smallest number of moving parts. The wings only move up and down, and have a minimal amount of fanning ability. They don't have anywhere close to the range of motion of actual pegasus wings, but the lack of motion allows the magic in the crystals to function without worrying about keeping the parts untangled. And since the crystals function on the will of the user, it's easier to stay in control, since all it takes to avoid a collision is a thought. This is just a prototype, though. The crystals barely had enough magic to handle that little fight. I want these suits to be able to be used for long shifts of work. I intend to open every job to every pony by the time I'm done."
By the time I was finished, Twilight's jaw was nearly scraping the floor, along with most of the other ponies'. Even Celestia looked truly shocked.
"Hold on," Twilight said as she shook her head and collected herself, "where did you even do all this? I've been in your house, and there were definitely no suits of armor in there."
"That's because I keep them in an underground lab. I didn't want anyone trying to steal my work and claiming credit, or worse, using it to hurt others, so I turned my basement into a lab and put a fake wall in the main house. I'm probably going to have to repair the hole in the wall, now, too, come to think of it. I haven't actually made an exit for these things, yet, so it probably just punched through the door. Damn."
"And what about those bracelets? How do those work?"
"The crystals are broken. Each of the gems here are halves, while the other halves are in the wrists of the suit. Knocking them together causes them to 'cry' for their other halves, which respond by 'calling' to the other crystals in the suit to activate. Once the halves touch each other, they stop moving of their own volition, at which point they come under my control, allowing me to make the suit put itself on me. It's all fairly easy once you've done it a couple times, since the magic itself is doing all the real work."
Twilight stared at me for a moment, then at the suit. I saw a single strand of her mane sproing up out of place and curl dangerously. I put a hand on her shoulder as her pupils slowly started shrinking.
"Twilight, relax. I'll explain everything to you later. For now, though," I looked back at the ruined hall, "I think you have an actual wedding to help plan. Last I checked, you were invited here to make sure everything was ready for your brother and your foalsitter to get married. I don't think the wedding is getting put off, either." I looked to Cadence and Shining for confirmation, and Cadence came over.
"He's right. We're not going to let a little invasion get in the way of our wedding, and now we need to redo most of the preparations. I could really use your help with it."
Twilight sighed, and took a last look at the armor before turning around.
"Right. You're still in trouble, though, Zephyr. We'll be talking about this at length later. For now, though, you're right. There are more important things to worry about."
I hugged her without warning, then let her go before she could react.
"Don't worry, you'll get what you want. It's not like I won't be around. For now, though, enjoy being with everyone. I need to go put this thing somewhere safe." I patted the armor, and she nodded. Her hair was back to its usual appearance, and the rest of the group began filtering out as I regarded the armor. It took me a few seconds to dismiss all other options, leaving me with Luna's room as the only safe place to put it. I tilted it over, and began rolling it down the halls, heading for the stairs to Luna's chamber.
That's going to be a pain in the ass.
The Sexiest Man in Equestria
When I finally managed to get the armor up the last of the stairs to Luna's room, I shoved it against the wall and sat down against it, pinning it there with my back as I caught my breath. Night Ray and Moonshot were back at their posts, and Night Ray came over to help me back to my feet.
"Looks like you had another trick up your sleeve," he commented as I stood up again, my breathing finally back under control.
"Yeah, barely. Too bad it's so damn heavy, though. Without power, it's just a big hunk of metal, and it won't be done recharging for some time. Right now all it is is dead weight." I grabbed the edge of one of the panels, and tugged on it to get the egg rolling again. "Also, that staircase is fuckin' long. My next design is going to be an elevator."
Both of them chuckled, fully aware of how serious I was being, and opened the doors so I could enter. I rolled the armor into the room, and immediately of to the side, then looked at the bed, where Luna was sitting. The two changelings were under the covers, sleeping peacefully as I approached. I had been planning to have some time alone with her since before I had gotten on the train, and I had every intention of getting the two changelings out as fast as possible.
"Are they alright?" I asked diplomatically. Luna turned, and I could see she had been crying.
Oh, goody. Now I feel like a jackass, too.
"They are terrified. Their... queen , for lack of a more fitting title, did horrible things to them. These two are so scared of what she might do to them upon waking that they don't even want to wake up anymore. I don't know what to do."
I thought about it for a few seconds, and had an idea.
"What if you brought them into my mind?"
She considered it for a moment, then nodded.
"Yes, that could work. You could show them Chrysalis being defeated, which would help remove their fear. Once they're convinced they won't be punished, I should be able to wake them up again."
"Well, let's do it, then." I sat down on the edge of the bed, pulled my shoes off, and lay back against the pillows near the uncoscious changelings. Luna climbed on top of me, and I quickly relaxed. Her horn glowed, and I could feel her magic niggling at my brain, sending shivers down my spine. Before long, though, I could feel the induced sleep begin to take hold, and my eyes closed to darkness. When I opened them again, I found myself in a cave. Luna was sitting a few feet away, with her arms and wings wrapped around two small changelings. I was somewhat surprised to find them in smaller forms, but it made sense, considering how much fear they must have been feeling. I moved towards the trio, and Luna looked up at me, opening her wings slightly to allow me entrance. I moved close, and gently tried to extricate one of them.
No!
A mental slap with all the force of a runaway semi hit me in the face, and sent me flying. I used the fact I was in a dream to "loop" back around, like I had gone around the planet, and landed back next to them. I shook my head to make the birdies fly away, and got back to a sitting position.
"They don't like being separated."
"I noticed, Luna. Thanks." I came close again, and Luna opened her wings a little more. I leaned in, and Luna wrapped her wings around me, closing off the rest of the dreamscape from us. She gently pushed the two changelings over to me, and I pulled them together, working against their mild resistance to bring them closer to me.
Who are you?
"My name is Zephyr. I'm here to help you wake up."
They both curled up tighter against one another, and their wings buzzed in fear.
We don't want to wake up. Chrysalis is out there. She'll punish us for trying to go against her.
As if on cue, cackling rang out through the dreamscape. I passed the changelings back to Luna, and she opened her wings to let me out as I stood up. Some distance away, Crusty-lips was walking confidently towards us.
"I do not intend to punish you at all, actually. You will be easy to bring back under control. Even better, you have given me a way into the minds of two of the greatest threats to my power. No, I intend to reward you two." I felt a new wave of fear emanate from the changelings. "First, though, I will deal with this little urchin."
She smiled, and her smile grew past its physical limits, revealing more and more razor-sharp teeth as her lower jaw split. Her eyes became compound, accentuating her insectoid appearance, and her wings lengthened into massive scimitar shapes. Her arms cracked at the edges of the holes, and the sections elongated into prehensile blades. Her legs split as well, creating three prongs that extended from each knee. With her transformation finished, she hissed at me before chuckling.
"What now, little fool? Are you scared? You should be. I am even more powerful here than I was in the real world, and in here, you're no longer immune to my attacks. Now, you're finished." She rushed me, wings buzzing as she flew low over the ground, until she slammed against an invisible wall.
"Like a bug on a windshield," I commented. She peeled herself away from the invisible barrier, then opened her three-jawed mouth and screeched. The sound shattered the barrier, and she lunged at me again. This time, though, I simply swatted her away as I had her real-world attacks. She regained her balance, and unleashed a barrage of magical blasts, peppering the area around me. I threw myself backwards, pretending that it affected me and using the smoke clouds from the blasts to give me a moment to summon my concentration. Once I was ready, I stood back up. She actually managed to catch me off-guard as she sped through the smoke and hoisted me off the ground, but I already had my next move ready as she came to a stop.
"Ha! Not so strong now, are you? I will break you, boy, and you will be my puppet!"
She started to squeeze, and I couldn't help but grin as I felt heat begin to grow in my ribcage. Queeny noticed quickly, though, as it spread and a red glow began to emanate from my body. She dropped me, and I stood back up as fire sprang from various points, covering me without burning a single strand of hair. She started backing up, and I gave her a few steps before following.
"What's the matter? I thought you were going to 'break me', weren't you? Or was that just your stupid showing again?"
She tried to blast me with magic again, and I slapped it away again.
"I'm getting real sick of your shit, lady. You didn't want to have your ass kicked? You should've thought a little harder about the consequences of your actions. Now, though? Now, you're going to get a lesson in why you shouldn't fuck around with me." I launched myself at her, and my fist connected with her jaw, sending her sprawling. She got up quickly, and began attempting to slice me with her claws. I dodged several swipes, then surged my inner fire to drive her back.
"You see, back on my world, we have what I call the four Elements of Power: Earth, Fire, Wind, and Water." She spat some sort of mucus at me, which stuck to my torso for about three seconds before burning off.
"Most cultures have some variation of the belief that any given species can be symbolized by one of these four Elements." She rushed me again, obviously beginning to panic as she took a wild swing at my head. I ducked under it, and gave her a hard uppercut in the stomach for her trouble. She collapsed, gasping as the mental feedback overrode her conscious knowledge that it wasn't real.
"So far, every creature I've come across has fit quite nicely into one of those four. Ponies, for instance, are like water. Sure, they don't seem too intimidating at first. Herbivorous, typically docile, not very aggressive.... But, when they're in a group, they become truly dangerous, like a flood. Get a whole town moving in one direction, and there's not much that can stop them. A hundred ponies, all working together, are capable of taking down almost any possible threat that exists in this world." She stopped gasping for air, and distanced herself from me, wings buzzing as she floated over the ground.
"Oh? If you're so smart, then perhaps you can tell me what we are? I'm just so intrigued by all this." She was obviously being sarcastic, and trying to stall me, but I decided to keep going anyway.
"Changelings? That's easy. You're like the earth. Stable, but stubborn, and slow to change. I've already begun thinking of ways to smooth over the transition for the rest of the changelings you subjugated, but the simple fact that these two don't want to wake up simply because of their fear proves how unyielding your species can be. But that's fine. Because humans? Like me? We are like fire. And as long as you can get it hot enough, anything will burn. Even diamonds." I felt a twinge of worry come from her; she was finally starting to understand.
"You see, Chryssy, you came here with a very important, dangerous misconception: You believed I was weak-minded. You believed I could simply be intimidated into submission. But I have spent most of my life being trained against far worse forms of torture and intimidation. There were people on my world who would have been willing to do things that anyone on this world would find unspeakable, just so they could learn everything I know. And just in case you still can't figure it out, let me make it perfectly clear: You are not a threat to me. You are a stupid, pathetic, obnoxious distraction, as far as I'm concerned. You are a spoiled little brat, trying to force others to do your bidding by making them smaller. You are nothing more than a glorified playground bully. Now... GET. OUT. " I sent a wave of fire towards her, which engulfed her before she vanished.
I turned back to Luna and the two changelings, who were staring at me wide-eyed.
"You all okay?"
They nodded, and the changelings removed themselves from Luna's personal space as my fire subsided.
We are alright, but how did you win? No one has ever been able to beat Chrysalis before.
"Yeah, well, she's never had to face someone like me before. She's so used to everyone being scared of her right away that she couldn't handle it when I wasn't even mildly concerned."
They stared at me with slack jaws for a moment, then looked at each other. A series of sounds passed between them that I wasn't able to understand, even in the dream, and they began to return to their normal size where they sat. Behind them, Luna beamed as she finally relaxed. Then, they said something I wasn't expecting.
You saved us. We wish to serve you for your kindness.
I blinked.
"That's... really not necessary."
But, you have freed us, and we do not know what to do now. We have only ever been servants. It is all we know how to do. At least if we serve you, you will be kind, yes?
"That is not even remotely the point, but yes, you're correct. However, I neither want nor need servants, and I doubt that Twilight and Pinkie would be on board with this idea. Can't you just go find some other changelings and try living with them?"
We could, but very few changelings will even be willing to live with anyone else, let alone other changelings. And after this, most ponies will not let us stay with them, either. We have nowhere else to go.
I sighed and looked at Luna. She seemed unsure, and tilted her head toward me, indicating that she would leave the decision to me. I sighed again.
"Alright, look. I don't have enough energy left to really think about this, so for now, wake up and go see Celestia. No doubt she's already begun making plans to help you all, so I'm sure she'll be relieved to see a couple more volunteers. She'll know what to do with you, at least temporarily."
They seemed to debate with themselves for a moment, then nodded and disappeared.
"What about Chrysalis?"
I turned back to Luna and walked toward her.
"What about her? I very highly doubt that either the changelings or the guards will be so easily overpowered, certainly not again."
She raised an eyebrow at me.
"She was able to rebuild the hive mind she was using before, and managed to force a way into one of spells, being used on your brain."
I shrugged.
"And I sent her packing. So we make a better inhibitor for her, then she gets whatever punishment Celestia decides on. Nothing to it." I sat down next to her and hugged her close before leaning backward and laying down with her. She put her head on my chest, and spread one wing over me before speaking again.
"But what if she manages to escape?"
"Then we'll find her and make a punishment for that, too. Now relax." I gave her a squeeze and nuzzled her head.
"But what if-" I cut her off by pulling her mouth up and kissing her.
"Luna, if you're that worried, send Moonshot to help them. He can handle it."
She went limp for a moment, then nodded.
"He's on his way."
I rolled over, putting myself on top of her, and kissed her again.
"Good. Now, I can get you to actually relax."
Author's Note
Sorry this took so long. I was having trouble deciding how it would go. Next chapter shouldn't be quite so long a wait, though.
The Sexiest Man in Equestria
I ran my hands down Luna's sides, feeling her shudder beneath me as I kissed her, breathing through my nose to keep going as long as possible. I snaked my fingers under her dress, rubbing against the fur on her backside and squeezing lightly. She moaned as her own hands wrapped under my arms and up onto my shoulders, and I pressed a little harder against her lips as I felt her tongue press against mine. I let her in, and she moaned again as she ran her tongue along my teeth while my tongue went against her underside. She pulled me tighter, and I slid my hands back up her body to the clasp on her dress. I undid the hook, then rolled over as I pulled the zipper down. She broke off the kiss as I started pulling the dress down, pushing up to give me room to work. As soon as the obstructive material was gone, I darted my head forward to her breasts, burying my face between them. Luna wrapped her arms around my head as I nuzzled her, using my hands to massage her back and the bases of her wings. She sighed and moaned as I worked, rubbing myself against as much of her as I could. I rolled again, pinning her on her back, wings spread, and moved my face up her neck and the side of her head. I nuzzled her ear, breathing on it and making it twitch, before moving forward to her horn. I kissed the base, then, hearing no complaint, ran my lips up the length.
"Oh, yes."
I glanced down to see Luna's face aflame with blush and panting lightly. Her wings twitched, and she grabbed my waist.
"Don't stop."
I complied, setting my lips back against her horn and running up and down the length, occasionally giving a small lick along a groove. I held her head still with one hand as I worked, and used the other to massage her wing. She continued making small moans as I licked her horn, coating it rather thoroughly with saliva. A thin glow emanated from it at this point, and I moved the hand that was holding her head down to her breast as I wrapped my lips around the tip of her horn. Her panting increased, and I pressed my hand into her breast, rolling and massaging it as I dipped my head, using my control of the dream world to make the inside of my mouth bigger than the outside, which in turn let me take the entirety of Luna's horn in my mouth as I licked at it. Luna's panting increased further as I began slowly bobbing my head, massaging her wing and breast as I focused my mouth on stimulating her horn as much as possible. Before long, she was making audible squeaks with every breath, and the glow of her magic had intensified. I could feel small pops in my mouth from the magical sparks she was giving off as I sank my hand into her chest, enjoying the feel of her fur surrounding my fingers as she moaned and panted with feverish intensity. I knew she was close, and decided to quickly press my thigh between her legs. She made a long, high-pitched moan as I rubbed against her slit, and I gave a powerful slurp on her horn as I lightly twisted her breast and squeezed her wing. The stimulation pushed her over the edge, and her moan turned into a short screech as she drenched my thigh in juices. Her horn, meanwhile, became almost blindingly bright as her magic went wild, filling my mouth with the popping of magic sparks. After a few seconds, though, her orgasm faded. I pulled myself off her horn, and moved myself down to lay next to her as she recovered. Even in dreams, orgasms were tiring. She rolled, wrapped her arms around me and flopped her wing over us, then nuzzled my neck. I nuzzled her back, just in front of her ear, and held her closer.
"You really do enjoy making me feel better, don't you, Zephyr?"
"It's one of my favorite hobbies."
She giggled.
"Are you sure it's not simply a side effect of your favorite hobby?"
"Heheh. Yes, I'm sure. It's more the other way around, really. I know you too well for it to be a side effect of anything."
She nuzzled me again, and her hands began moving down.
"Well, let's not leave you unsatisfied either, hmm?"
"Sounds good to me."
She undid my belt, and yanked my pants apart. My cock was more than eager, straining against my boxers as Luna licked her lips. She pulled my boxers down, freeing my cock as it throbbed with my pulse. She grabbed the base, and her fur, as always, was like silk against my bare skin. She slowly stroked my length, rubbing the tip against her cheek. After a few moments, she drew back and set the head of my dick on her tongue, before closing her lips around it and then sinking her lips three quarters of the way down the length. She looked up and locked eyes with me as she began bobbing her head, twisting slightly to one side so she wouldn't stab me with her horn. Her tongue swirled and licked around my shaft, and she slurped every time she pulled back, turning me on even more. I grabbed her head gently, guiding her as I hrusted my hips ever so slightly. I came quickly, and Luna took the entire length of my cock as it contracted over and over. She gulped it down as fast as I let it out, and she used her control of my senses in the dream to make me keep cumming. Finally, she stopped swallowing and pulled away, aiming my cock at herself with one hand and fingering herself with the other as I sprayed cum all over her face. Some of it shot into her mane, and stayed there, floating like part of the starfield that her mane appeared as. She didn't let me stop, though, as she quickly sat up, aligned her pussy with my cock, and dropped down. My dick speared her roughly, making her moan as I began pumping semen into her vagina. I noticed her horn glow slightly, and then felt my cock throb almost painfully. I looked down, and lifted Luna just enough to see that she had grown my shaft significantly, and if the prolonged feeling of jizz being fired from the tip was any indication, she had increased my output, as well. I thrusted up into her, making her wings flutter as she moaned again. I kept thrusting as I came, filling her womb, and she whimpered and panted, wings spread, while semen began pouring out of her. Finally, I felt my climax end, and Luna lowered herself onto me.
"You feeling better now, Princess?"
She nodded, and lifted herself up a little.
"I feel quite a bit better, in fact. I think such a marvelous job of comforting one's mare should be rewarded, as well." Her horn lit again, and the dream world vanished, replaced by reality. Luna was laying on top of me, her dress discarded off to the side. My shirt was obviously gone as well, because I could feel her fur against my skin. She kissed me after a moment, then lifted her upper body so I could see her breasts. "This should serve as an adequate reward, yes?"
I nodded, and leaned forward to catch one of her nipples in my lips. I grabbed the other with my hand, and massaged it gently as I began sucking on the one in my mouth. Milk began pouring into my mouth as I squeezed with my lips, and I swallowed it greedily as Luna moaned my name. I heard a quiet fwoomp and I glanced up to see her wings had sprung open. I sucked a little harder, enjoying the taste of her lactation while her wings quivered in pleasure. Eventually, though, the stream of milk began to wane. I switched to her other breast, and pressed my tongue against it as I sucked out the milk, making Luna moan again. Once she was nearly empty there, too, I pulled back and came off her breast with a loud pop. I licked my lips, then both her nipples, to clean up the drops of milk that had been left behind. Once her tits were clean, I pulled Luna down against me, making out with her as her chest smooshed against mine. After several seconds, she pulled away, gasping for air. I gently rolled her over, mindful of her wings, and kissed her again. As we made out this time, though, I reached a hand down and started playing with her pussy. She moaned again, and wrapped her arms around my neck. After a few more seconds, she pulled away.
"Thou art insatiable, Zephyr."
"It's not my fault you're so sexy."
She giggled again as I moved down, kissing along her body as I lowered myself. Finally, I reached my destination: the Lunar Princess' pussy. I gave her a lick, and she hummed above me, playing with my hair as I started gently using my tongue to part her labia and taste her fluids. As corny as it sounds, she always tasted like starlight to me.
...
I know, there's no way to actually taste starlight, but something about it just made my brain insist that's what the taste was. Either way, I was enjoying myself as I licked and prodded at her entrance. She whined pleadingly, and I acquiesced to her silent request by suddenly driving as much of my tongue as possible into her.she moaned and her head tilted back, her legsquirmed and her fingers digging into my scalp as her hips pushed forward, trying to push my tongue deeper than it could go. I licked at the inside of her marehood, occasionally tilting my head forward to rub my tongue against her clit. Her legs crossed over my back, and I doubled my pace, swirling against her walls as they began to quiver in anticipation. Her fingers entangled themselves in my hair, and every breath she exhaled was punctuated with a short, staccato whine.
She's almost done.
I moved my hands to her flanks, and began massaging her cutie marks while simultaneously sucking at her clit. Her muscles spasmed around my tongue, her legs stiffened, and her hands pushed my head tightly to her pussy as she came. It was too much for me, as always, so quite a bit got on the sheets, but I enjoyed her taste from what I managed to get. She relaxed afterward, and lay there panting. I pulled away, and licked my lips as she recovered.
"Thou... art... unstoppable," she said between gasps. "Now, let us get... to the wedding." She slowly sat up, still a little shaky, and cast a spell to clean herself of mess and musk before getting dressed again. I waited by the door, and once she had all her accoutrements, I opened the door for her. She smiled gratefully, and stepped out, her usual royal facade taking over as she left the privacy of her chambers. I followed close behind, and shut the door as I left. Just before I did, though, I had a sense of something watching me from back in the room. I shrugged it off as tension, and began the journey back down to the wedding.
Unable to help myself, I gave her one last grope on the flank as we descended the stairs.
Author's Note
Well, that took about five times longer than I had hoped. On the other hand, I managed to get something else done in the meantime.
If you'd like to find out what I sound like, go watch this video. And maybe enjoy it, somehow.
The Sexiest Man in Equestria
I suddenly found myself aware of being in a large bed. I could feel something wet wrapped around my cock, and there was a weight pressing against my chest.
"Zephyr...."
The voice was feminine, certainly, but carried a low note of authority to it that was instantly recognizable. I opened my eyes, and saw Luna's face smiling down at me as the wet feeling travelled down to the base of my cock. I still wasn't fully capable of thought, though, due to my immunity to magic, and I found myself grabbing her hips and lifting her up before pushing her back down, thrusting with my own hips to meet her. The Princess of the Night moaned in pleasure, and I could feel my thoughts becoming less hazy as I accelerated my thrusting pace. A few deep breaths and a couple dozen wet slaps later, I was able to think in a straight line. I knew Luna was already aware of me being with Twilight, since she had ways of reading even my thoughts, if nothing else, but that was able to wait. At the speed of thought, eight hours is an eternity. I put more strength into fucking the Princess, and caught her nipple with my lips as I moved a hand to her wings. She moaned with approval, and I could taste milk on my tongue, warm and sweet.
Most of Equestria's population seemed to be under the impression that the Princesses were perfect goddesses of some kind or another, but the truth was that they were horny enough on a regular basis that were they to act on every urge they felt, the throne room would look more like a brothel than anything else. Luna, in particular, had a problem with what her body wanted. While Celestia's tits were certainly bigger, Luna had a condition that caused her breasts to constantly produce milk. Typically, she just disposed of it, but on one occasion when I was actually in Canterlot, I found out about her condition, and found that her milk was absolutely delicious. Since then, she always allowed me to suck her nipples during our shared dreams, and occassionally send a crate of it, bottled, to my house. Personally, I preferred it fresh, but I didn't complain. I liked it, and it helped her self-esteem.
As the flow began to stem, I switched to her other breast, collecting as much flesh in my mouth as I could before sucking hard on her nipple and pulling back, stretching her breast slightly as she gave a high-pitched moan of ecstasy. I felt a stream of milk squirt out for my effort, and started massaging her wing as I repeated the process, using my mouth to milk her like a cow. I switched between her tits several times, pressing my face in, opening my mouth, and then sucking and pulling to coax out the milk, until there wasn't any left. By that point, Luna was squeaking in lustful pleasure with every breath, her wings were quivering, and her ass jiggled faintly every time I fucked her as the strength left her legs. After a few more seconds, I came, pouring semen into her as she changed the stimulus of both our minds, making it feel like I had injected ten times as much semen as I was actually capable of. She collapsed on top of me afterward, panting with lust as her tongue lolled out of her open mouth. It had been some time since she had last visited me, though, and if the newspapers were to be believed, the entire time had been nothing but stress, so I took advantage of the fact that I had limitless endurance in the dream world, and maneuvered myself out from under her, repositioning myself doggy style to penetrate her ass. She managed to move her legs just enough to make entrance possible, then relaxed as I gently pushed in and began fucking her anally. She seemed to need the extra treatment, too, since the only sounds she made during that time were grunts and whines of pleasure, begging me for more. Eventually, I gave her what she wanted, hilting myself as I emptied another impossibly large load of cum into her anus. It all stayed in as I pulled out, though, and I could hear a faint sloshing sound every time she moved afterward. I lowered myself next to her, and she lunged forward for a kiss. She ground her hips against me as her tongue invaded my mouth, and I responded my pushing my dick into her again and rolling her onto her back, careful to avoid crushing her wings. I slowly began fucking her again, and her features relaxed as she focused.
"Thou art sweet, to meet my needs first."
"I've heard a few stories of the crap you've been having to deal with lately. I figured you could use some extra attention." She closed her eyes in pleasure as I pushed in completely and held it there for a few seconds.
"I appreciate the gesture. Now that that's done, though, we should talk."
"About me and Twilight, right?"
She nodded.
"Yes. While I am pleased the two of you have decided to enter a true relationship, I do have... concerns."
I smirked and fucked her a little faster, making her gasp as the angle of my cock changed and dragged across her walls.
"You're concerned that I won't be available to relieve your stress anymore, right?"
I increased my pace further, fucking her hard enough that she nodded from the force of my movements. She panted as she tried to answer through the treatment.
"P-partially.... I-ah-I, uh... I worry that others will be jealous-nggg...." She put her arms around my neck to help steady her speech. "There are -haannh- sveral other mares -haah- who regularly have erotic dreams about you."
I slowed down so Luna could think properly, and kissed her gently on the nose as she continued.
"Even in Ponyville, there are multiple mares who want to be your mate." With her ability to think restored, I felt Luna put her legs around my waist, pulling me in every time I thrusted. "If you are not careful, that could be disastrous."
I didn't need any other confirmation about how badly jealousy could affect ponies; I already knew about Nightmare Moon. I gently kissed the Night Princess as I felt my groin tighten, and I released another payload of jizz into her womb as we broke apart. I removed myself from her, and laid down across her body, gently massaging her face and side as I felt the room get a little colder. She wrapped her arms around my neck and held me tightly.
"I know, Luna. It's alright. Twilight and I already figured out that we would need to explain all this to everyone else." I paused as an idea struck me. "Actually, can you bring Twilight here? We could talk about all this now."
"I could.... If you'd stop making me so aroused for a few seconds." The temperature returned to normal, and I removed myself from Luna's personal space, sitting up against the headboard.
She took several deep breaths to calm herself, and her horn lit with a dark blue glow. After what felt like almost a minute, I saw a new shape begin to take form on the far side of the bed. The shape slowly became more focused and defined, until Twilight Sparkle was laying there, naked and asleep. Luna panted with the exertion, and I crawled forward to kiss her over her shoulder and massage her breasts a little. She sighed appreciatively, and we both turned our attention to Twilight. I wanted to try waking her up the same way Luna always woke me up, and I put on my best fake Canterlot accent.
"Please, Your Majesty, allow me to wake this rude mare. To sleep in ignorance of your beauty is simply unacceptable."
Luna giggled, and laid down on her side so she could watch.
"Very well, sir, let me see how well you can wake her."
I positioned myself above Twilight, and lowered my head down so I could whisper in her ear.
"Twiiiiliiiiight. It's time to get up."
She mumbled something incoherent and her ear twitched as she lazily swung her arm at me.
"Twilight, if you get up, I'll take you out for breakfast."
Sounds resembling the words "Five more minutes" emanated from her mouth. Luna giggled.
"She's almost as difficult to wake as you are, Zephyr."
I grinned back and lifted my upper body.
"Yeah, but I already know her weakness." I turned back to Twilight. "Twilight, you need to get up. Don't want to keep Princess Luna waiting, do you?"
The reaction was instantaneous. Twilight's eyes shot open, and her ears pointed straight toward me. I could feel her body tense beneath mine.
"Princess Luna!? Where!? I don't remember a meeting being on the schedule! Oh no, did I forget? I completely forgot to put it on the schedule, didn't I? Oh no, oh no, ohnoohnoohnoohnooh-"
"Look left, Twilight."
She did, and froze like a deer in the headlights of a speeding dump truck filled with bricks.
"Zephyr?"
"Yes, Twilight?" I replied as I leaned down and began kissing her neck.
"Is this a dream?"
"Yes. Yes, it is."
"Should I be worried about why Luna figured out a way to share dreams with you, and then bring me in while we're all naked?"
"That depends."
"On what?"
"Whether or not the current situation arouses you."
"And if it does?"
"Then don't worry."
"Ah. Okay."
I could feel just how aroused she was, as my cock rubbed her wet pussy, but the rest of her body was still frozen with fear as Luna smiled mischievously at Twilight. I grabbed Twilight's muzzle gently, and turned her to face me.
"Twilight, what did I just say?"
She blinked and her ears folded back guiltily.
"To not worry?"
"And have you stopped worrying yet?"
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"No."
"Then stop it. Just take a few deep breaths, and calm down. It's not like you're on trial, here."
She took my advice, inhaling and exhaling several times to get her nerves under control.
"Okay. Okay, I'm fine. So, what's going on?"
"Well, first of all, you should know that Luna and I have been meeting like this for quite some time."
Twilight's face fell slightly, although she seemed more confused than anything.
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"That was my decision, dear Twilight."
Twilight turned her head to look at Luna, and I laid down behind her, holding her close.
"My reasons for desiring Zephyr were completely casual, though not always physical. I knew that revealing our relationship to anyone could be detrimental to both our lives, but I specifically did not reveal it to you, or your friends, because I was already certain that at least one of you would become romantically interested in him, and I did not wish to discourage that with my presence. I asked Zephyr not to speak of it to anyone, and ensured that all his visits to me physically were made with utmost secrecy. Only two of my closest gurads were ever aware of his presence or identity, and I ensured that they would never speak of our meetings to any other pony, whether on purpose or by accident, through multiple means. Now, though, the situation has changed. The two of you are now in a relationship, which makes me the outsider once more."
I could see Luna trying to keep from giving away her sadness at potentially being left alone again, but the room grew cold again, revealing her true feelings. I raised myself over Twilight, and pulled Luna over so I could hold them both.
"What Luna is saying, Twilight, is that since you and I are in a real relationship now, it's your choice as to whether or not she's allowed to keep seeing me."
Twilight looked up to me in shock, then back to Luna.
"B-b-but you're one of the Princesses! I can't just tell you you aren't allowed to see Zephyr anymore!"
Luna shook her head in disagreement.
"That is completely untrue, Twilight. Now that you and he are together, for me to further intrude without welcome would be both rude and unfair to you. Moreso, as I am responsible for watching over the health of young lovers. That would be dereliction of duty, plain and simple."
Twilight sighed, then looked back to me.
"What do you think, Zephyr? I know we just got involved, ourselves, but she is the Princess. I feel like refusing her would just be wrong."
"Twilight, this choice is yours. I've already had plenty of practice keeping up with multiple mares. Whether or not you're ready to have a relationship with more than one other is your call, not mine."
She sighed, and fell silent for several seconds. I nuzzled her gently as she thought, letting her know she had my support either way. Finally, she spoke up.
"I don't really have any problem with you two seeing each other, Princess, and I know that having him around helps you, but I don't think I feel ready to be with you, myself. I just feel like I don't have enough experience, yet."
Luna nodded.
"Of course. I disagree on your abilities, but it is your choice. Thank you both, for allowing me to join your herd."
Twilight smiled, but something suddenly occurred to me just then.
"No."
Both mares turned to me in shock, and I looked down at them with a toothy grin.
"Not a herd. Only herbivores have herds." I raised my back and shoulders, making myself look bigger, and both mares shivered as their instincts told them to run away from the predator that now hovered over their helpless bodies. "I am an apex predator. So no, not a herd. This will be my pack." I leaned down and kissed Twilight, pressing her down into the pillows until she was panting, then I did the same with Luna. I could feel both of them shivering beneath me with excitement and just enough fear to really get the adrenaline running. "And all new members have to go a round before it's official."
Luna smiled and giggled in amusement.
"Oh-ho! Thrice was not enough, Zephyr?"
I nibbled on her ear a little before answering.
"Actually, I figure it's a good chance for Twilight to learn some of your weaknesses. Eventually, she's going to want to join us, might as well have her ready for it. Right, Twilight?"
The unicorn in question started when my attention suddenly shifted to her, and then she nodded rapidly.
"Um, y-yeah, right. Of course." Her body was shaking, and her ears swiveled every which way, like she was being hunted. I dropped my head down, and pressed my nose against hers, filling her vision.
"Twilight, are you scared right now?"
"Um. Yes? Maybe? I'm not sure. I know that you're a predator, but the way you declared it just now, I suddenly thought that I would never escape from you if you chased me, and for some reason, that's really arousing and terrifying at the same time."
I smiled.
"Good. Now, I have a question for you: I know why you feel how you do, and I can explain it to you," her eyes went wide and her tail swished at the pospect of new information, "but, if I do, it could dampen the feeling, perhaps even remove it. So do you still want to know?"
The war that followed between her emotions was evident on her face. Her insatiable curiosity wanted desperately to know what was happening, but her body was telling her to let it go and just let things happen. After a few seconds, she shook her head slowly.
"I think... I think I'd rather figure it out myself. That's okay, right?"
In response, I kissed her again, pushing her down slowly but firmly into the pillows. When I pulled away, she was panting again.
"That's just fine, Twilight." I turned back to Luna, who had rolled onto her back, and now had her arms folded so they held her breasts together. "Now, as for you..." I moved over so I was fully over her. She shivered and pushed her arms together in excitement, squishing her breasts and making me even more aroused. "I think it's time to really work you over."
Luna flashed a sultry grin, then rolled over. She pulled her legs toward her chest, propping herself on her knees and lifting her butt far enough to rub my dick. She hotdogged me for a moment, rubbing her flanks up and down my length until I grabbed them. She moaned lightly as I started kneaded them, enjoying the sensation of my fingers pressing into the soft fur and flesh of the Night Princess' ass. I left my dick where it was for a moment, teasing her as she tried to continue moving. I held her still though, digging my hands into her plush flanks to hold her still. Finally, I decided to get on with it, and rolled my hips back so I could line myself up with her vagina. I rubbed my tip against her entrance, and she whimpered pleadingly. I wanted to hear one more thing, though. I leaned forward, and laid my body across Luna's, leaving my head just below her shoulder, close enough to whisper.
"Is this what you want, Luna?"
She nodded.
"What was that? I couldn't hear you. You have to speak up."
"Y-yes. I want it. Give it to me."
I put a hand against her pussy and slipped a finger in. She whimpered again.
"Is that what you wanted? Honestly, 'it' isn't very descriptive. You'll have to be more specific."
She was panting now. I glanced over to Twilight, and found her fingering herself and playing with her breasts. This was starting to turn her on.
"Your cock! Please, Zephyr, give me your cock!" Luna was pushing backward and down, now, searching for my dick with her pussy.
"Oh, is that what you wanted? Well, alright, then, Princess. Get ready." I pulled my hand from her entrance, and grabbed her flanks, squeezing tightly to keep a good grip. I brought my member back to her entrance, and aligned myself before flexing my pelvic muscles, turning it into a fleshy spear as I pressed forward quickly. I entered easily, and shoved my entire length into her at once, letting the Princess feel my entirety right away. She shivered in delight, and I wasted no time in getting to a quick pace, pulling her ass backward every time I thrusted with my hips. I looked at Twilight to find her furiously working her own pussy, panting and sweating with arousal. I laughed a little.
"You enjoying the show, Twilight?"
She nodded dumbly.
"What's it like, watching one of your rulers get fucked by your boyfriend right in front of you?"
"I-it's... arousing. It's making me so hot inside. I think it's because... i know that if I ask, you'll do this to me, too."
"Do you want me to do this to you, Twilight?"
She bit her lip and fell forward as her other hand moved to join the first. She moaned erotically.
"Yes! Yes, I want it so much! I want you to fuck me like a toy! I want you to rut me like an animal! I'm getting even hotter, Zephyr! I feel like I'm going to combust!"
"Well, we don't want that, do we?" I hilted myself, and held it there inside Luna. "Come here, get under Luna."
She did as I said, laying so that they could face each other.
"Now, Twilight, you see those big, soft tits your Princess has?"
"Yes?"
"Suck on them."
There was a moment of hesitation, then I heard her suckling on Luna's breast for a moment before I heard her pull of with a pop.
"There's milk. But, Princess, you're not pregnant, are you?"
"No, dear Twilight. My body produces milk at all times. It is rather irksome in most cases, but our mutual beau seems to enjoy it."
"Damn right I do. And you know what else I enjoy?"
"What?" Luna asked over her shoulder as Twilight began sucking her breast again.
"Fucking you until you can't even think straight." I suddenly started my thrusting again, making Luna whinny in surprise, and increased my pace to full speed right away. Having Twilight beneath us, drinking Luna's milk, was pushing me quickly towards the edge. As I neared my limit, I made a last-second decision.
"Luna, roll." She obeyed, and I pulled out. I jerked myself a few more times, then came, shooting massive ropes of semen all over both mares, covering their bodies and faces in jizz. Twilight opened her mouth, and caught most of one on her tongue, leaving the rest to splatter her chin, and causing another wave of orgasm to surge through my dick. By the time I was finished cumming, both mares were laced with white, making them both look like sluts. It suddenly occurred to me, as that thought crossed my mind, that that was partially true. The difference was that they would only act like that for me. Anyone else would just get shunted away, but they had both chosen to let me fuck them basically whenever I wanted. I leaned forward and gave them each a short, gentle kiss.
"Well, Twilight, what do you think? Would you consider that a successful initiation?"
She wiped some cum off her cheek with her finger and licked it away before answering.
"Yeah. I think that was pretty good."
"Alright, then. Looks like you're in, Luna."
She sighed happily, and wiped some jizz off her breast before dripping it into her mouth.
"It's been some time since I was in a serious relationship, but if I can expect this kind of treatment every time, I think it will be well worth the effort."
Author's Note
I had to stop writing this a few times because it was making me so hard it hurt. I hope it affects you all similarly.
Also, expect more dream scenes like this in the future. Not sure how often, but definitely multiple times.
The Sexiest Man in Equestria
I became aware of myself and immediately felt a pair of lips brushing against the back of my ear, the breathing of the one behind me making my skin itch. I brought my hand up and grabbed the muzzle of whoever was there, holding them against me as they giggled and a dark wing draped itself over my side. I recognized the voice, sighed happily, then rolled, putting my body on top of Luna's, guiding myself to her mouth with my hand. She hummed as I ran my hand from her muzzle down to her collarbone, and shuddered as I gently ran my fingers against her pelt while my other hand grabbed her cutie mark and started kneading it. Her own arms pulled my head against hers to deepen the kiss, and her wings wrapped around me as our tongues danced gently with each other. Finally, we pulled away from one another and simply nuzzled each other's faces for a moment.
"I missed you, Zephyr."
"It's only been a couple of days, Luna."
"It feels like weeks." She dropped her head to my shoulder and held it there.
"Are you alright?"
"I will be. We've been having some disturbing occurrences."
"What do you mean?"
She sighed and rolled next to me.
"Ponies have been disappearing. They leave their homes one day, and simply vanish. There's no sounds of fighting, no signs of a struggle, and there's been no demands made. We have no idea what's going on."
I stayed silent for a moment. I already knew what had happened, but Luna didn't need to know, and she wouldn't read my thoughts without my approval first.
"Well, I do at least have a distraction for you, then."
She looked up at me curiously.
"Pinkie has asked to join the pack."
Luna's face turned pensive as she considered it.
"Well, I certainly have no complaint. It might be enjoyable to have her join us, considering her seemingly boundless energy. I assume I may bring her here?"
"Yeah. I just want to watch to start, though. Maybe you could show her your 'special surprise?' I'm sure she'd like it."
Luna's grin turned mischievous and sexy.
"And what will you do, my virile beau?"
"I'll wait until she's ready, then finish her off."
"Alright, then. Give me a moment."
She sat up, and her horn glowed. A moment later, Pinkie was laying next to us, snoring slightly. Luna crawled on top of the pink mare, and gently kissed an ear, making it flick. Pinkie shuddered awake, then yawned and stretched. Once she was done, she looked up at Luna and blinked a few times.
"Hi, Princess Luna! Didn't expect you to drop in!"
"Well, since you're here, would you like to join us?" Luna asked as she gestured to me. Pinkie looked in my direction, and her eyes went wide.
"Oooooohhhh. So this is who you meant! I didn't think Princess Luna was your special somepony too, Zephyr. Oh! That means this is a dream, right? So what are we gonna do? Ride rollercoasters? Learn to fly? Maybe we could try one of those things you always talk about from your world, Zephyr! What were they called again? Cats? Calls?"
"Cars?" I offered.
"That's the one!" Pinkie started bouncing beneath Luna in excitement. "Can we try one of those?"
I grinned.
"Maybe next time. Right now, Luna gets a turn to see what you can do. I'm just going to watch, for now."
"Okie-dokie-lokie!" Pinkie instantly began kissing Luna paasionately, shoving their muzzles together as she grabbed one of Luna's breasts. Luna responded by pushing her back down into the pillows and grabbing back. The two mares moaned into each other, and I could see something else growing between Luna's legs. As they made out, my own erection grew to the point of being painful, while Luna's quickly-forming dream-cock swung back and forth with their motions.
Finally, Luna pulled away from Pinkie, and pulled herself into a kneeling position, showing Pinkie the foot-and-a-half-long member tht now stood at attention, throbbing with anticipation. Pinkie stared at it wide-eyed as Luna lowered herself to the pink pussy that was now dripping with arousal, and began rubbing herself against Pinkie's outer lips. Luna's cock lay against Pinkie's entrance, slightly spreading her lips as Luna ran her entire length up and down the wet, pink folds. As my own dick throbbed painfully for attention, I decided I wanted to focus more on the show than the pain, and slowly started stroking my own length, patiently watching as Luna finally began pushing her tip against Pinkie's labia. After a couple seconds of increasing effort, Luna suddenly slid into Pinkie's pussy with a small pop. She slowly pushed her way forward, letting Pinkie feel every inch as the dream-cock filled her. When their hips finally met, Luna grabbed Pinkie's hips, and began slowly thrusting. Pinkie moaned as Luna filled her over and over. Luna let out small gasps as Pinkie's pussy pulled at her every time she left.
Luna picked up her pace, making both their breasts shake with every thrust. She continued increasing the speed and strength of her pounding, until their tits were bouncing enough to hear a slap every time they fell, and her ass was jiggling tantalizingly. Unable to wait any longer, I got up, crawled behind Luna, and gently pushed her forward, leaning her over Pinkie and giving me access to her ass. She hilted herself inside Pinkie's warm depths, and held herself there as they entered another makeout session. I massaged Luna's flanks a little first, and rubbed my own dick between her cheeks. The soft fur sent unique spikes of pleasure through my cock, but I didn't want to waste time tonight on further foreplay. I lined up my cock with her anus, and slowly pushed in, making her moan into Pinkie's mouth as I filled her. I gripped her flanks tightly, enjoying the feel of my fingers sinking into her slightly pudgy flesh as my digits were engulfed. Once I had a good grip, I pulled out as slowly as I could, making Luna pant and whine as Pinkie continued her oral assault. When the head of my dick caught the edge of Luna's pucker, I twisted my hands slightly, reinforcing my grip as Luna wiggled in pleasure, shaking her own cock inside Pinkie as she did so. I slammed back in, shoving Luna forward into Pinkie. Both mares moaned, and I began building a rhythm with my thrusts as they continued their battles of tongues. I leaned over Luna for stability, and spent several seconds pounding away at her with quick, short thrusts, which in turn caused her own cock to plunge into Pinkie's folds at an equal frequency. I returned to my previous pace, and increased the strength of my thrusts as both mares suddenly broke away from their kissing, and Luna turned to face me as Pinkie's whines of pleasure began sounding like whinnies.
"Zephyr... We-hnnn-we can't hold on much longer. Pinkie is beginning to clench, and I can't keep going like this without a climax."
I pulled out, and rolled them over without removing Luna's cock from Pinkie's snatch.
"Well, then, I guess we should finish this up." I grabbed Pinkie's arm, and shoved my dick into her ass, resuming my earlier pace. Luna quickly joined me in fucking our new partner, and she alternated her thrusts with mine so that one of us was always filling Pinkie's holes. I could feel Pinkie's insides quivering, and a tightening in my own groin informed me of my own impending climax. I leaned over Pinkie, and pulled her back as she panted with lust to talk to Luna.
"Don't stop until I say, alright?"
Luna looked slightly confused, but the pleasure drowned out her thoughts and she nodded, refocusing her efforts on fucking Pinkie as all three of us began to move more desperately. I switched my grip from Pinkie's arm to her legs, and started pulling her back in time with my thrusting. Luna caught on fast, and changed her rhythm to move in time with me, forcing both our members into Pinkie's holes at once with every slap of hips against hips. Pinkie's moans and whinnies had completely died, and she now gibbered wordlessly with pleasure, her tongue hanging out of her open mouth, flopping around with every violation of her insides. Luna came first, however, and feeling her dick throb through Pinkie's flesh pushed me over the edge. Pinkie came simultaneously with me, and her back arched as I began pumping her with cum. I could feel every surge of semen being pushed into her ass, and I held myself in as the pressure tried to push me out. Pinkie squeaked as the pressure of my cum became too much, and my seed began to flood upwards through her digestive track. I could still feel Luna's cock pulsing as she came, and I knew she wouldn't stop until I did, making me grin with predatory glee.
I hope they're both ready for this, because I'm not stopping any time soon.
I grabbed Pinkie's arms again, and pulled her up slightly, allowing me to see her belly as it began to swell with cum. The sight sent another jolt of arousal through me, and an extra-large spurt of cum forced its way into Pinkie's stomach.
"Zephyr..." Pinkie whimpered, "How much more? I don't think I can fit very much more than this. It's going to fill me up."
"I know." I grinned as her breathing became labored. Her breasts heaved as the bulging in her belly climbed, signaling the path my cum was taking up her esophagus. She coughed and sputtered, then tried to scream as my cum cut off her speech abilities, turning it into a gurgle as she sprayed a small torrent of cum from her mouth, splattering the headboard and dripping onto Luna's breasts.
"You can stop now, Luna." I finally felt my orgasm ebb, but Pinkie was still full to bursting, and she heaved several more globs of semen from her mouth, painting the headboard a surprisingly even shade of white, soaking the pillows, and staining Luna's face with cum. I let go of Pinkie's arms, and she fell forward onto Luna, coughing up more cum as the force of the fall pressed against her cum-swollen belly. I pulled out, letting the last couple strands of my ejaculation splatter across her ass, and rubbed her back soothingly. Her mouth and nose were dribbling cum, but she was smiling widely and her eyes were locked on mine as she coughed and panted.
"We abso-cough cough-absolutely need to-phwoo-do this again. That felt sooooo good."
Luna grinned up at me through her cum-mask.
"I suppose I'll need to practice my dream-form some more, won't I?"
I nodded.
"Yeah. Just make sure you let me know. I want a part of that."
Luna giggled, and licked some of the stray semen off of Pinkie's muzzle.
"You always do."
--
When I woke up for real the next morning, I found myself in an oddly familiar position. I could feel my cock engulfed in something warm and wet, and I could feel the weight of another body on top of me. I flexed my fingers, unintentionally squeezing both of my mares' asses, and as my mind grew clearer, I realized that it was Twilight who was impaled on my dick. She looked up at me as I opened my eyes, and grinned lustily.
"Hey, Zephyr. Sorry, but I woke up a few minutes ago, and you were rock-hard and humping the air. I figured I might as well give you something to thrust into, and climbed on. I'm not sure what came over me."
I squeezed her ass again, and resumed rolling my hips into her, making her moan.
"I think I'll be what came over you in a minute. But not here." I pushed Twilight down fully onto my dick, and turned to Pinkie. I maneuvered my hand around her shoulders, and angled her head up so I could kiss her. Once I had my lips locked with hers, I moved my hand back down, squeezing her tits tightly and forcing the milk out. Pinkie moaned, and I opened one eye as she woke up, automatically returning the kiss even as her brain obviously struggled to get her fully awake. I pulled back, and moved my hand down to her flank, grabbing tightly and sinking my fingers into her plush plot.
"Morning, poofy."
She yawned in response and blinked as her eyes finally focused on me, making her lick her lips.
"Morning, Zephyr. Was that real?"
"As real as it can be, at least."
Twilight looked between us.
"I missed something good, didn't I?"
"Don't worry, Twi," I said as I gave her cheek a lick, "you'll get your chance, too. I just knew already that Pinkie would enjoy it. I wasn't sure about your tastes, yet. Enough of that, though. We all need a shower." I gently pushed Twilight off me, and we all got out of bed together. Pinkie bounded to the bathroom, and I could hear her turn the water on as Twilight followed me in.
I had, originally, wanted a small bathroom, with small accoutrements. As my sexual reputation increased, however, I started finding myself having sex in the shower, or over the sink, or during a bath. I quickly decided to solve the issue of bumping against various surfaces during these activities by making everything bigger. I had to sacrifice the guest room to do it, but I never actually used that anyway. Understandably, Twilight gaped as she came in at the shower/bathtub that was big enough to hold five people. I know, I checked. Pinkie was already in, checking the water. I stepped in as well, and Twilight soon followed, walking a circle around the edge.
"This thing is huge! I don't think even the royal baths are this big!"
"Actually, they're bigger. The part of the royal baths that most folks see is only a facade. Luna especially loves being able to float around in the bubbles. It makes her feel like she's in space, apparently." Twilight stared at me, unable to decide how, precisely, she felt about that.
"Got it!" Pinkie called. I heard the gurgle of water as it flowed into the three shower heads, and sighed as the heat poured across me.
"Come here, Pinkie. I'll get your tail."
"Oh, thanks, Zephyr!" I grabbed one of the two bottles of shampoo on the side as she walked next to me and turned around, and rubbed it into the base of her tail as she got some for her mane. i looked over my shoulder to see Twilight starting to work her fur with a sponge.
"Twilight, come over here. Just because I'm not working on you right this second doesn't mean you get to bathe on your own. Not while you're doing so at the same time as two other people." Twilight blushed, and slowly made her way over to us, obviously unsure of her steps on the wet floor, despite the texturing that I had built into it to prevent slip-ups. Once she was close enough, I pulled Pinkie over.
"Pinkie, help Twilight get clean, would you?"
"Okie-dokie-lokie!" She grabbed another sponge, and poured some soap on it before going to town on Twilight's body. She pulled the unicorn against her, and began rubbing the sponge up and down Twilight's sides before slipping the sponge between them. She scrubbed against Twilight's torso, squeezing both their tits as I moved around them. I poured another glob of shampoo, and began rubbing at the base of Twilight's tail as Pinkie pulled them even closer to reach Twilight's back. As Pinkie's hand travelled down Twilight's back, scrubbing all the way, they both began moaning, reawakening my morning wood into a proper arousal. I stood back up, and pressed my growing erection into Twilight's butt, letting her feel my growth as her fur tickled me and sent spikes of pleasure pinballing through my genitals. I pulled her away from Pinkie, garnering a whine of disappointment from the earth pony.
"Sorry, Pinkie, but it is her turn. If you want to get yourself ready while you clean up, though, I'll finish you off once I'm done with her."
Pinkie nodded, eagerly dropping to her knees to watch as she scrubbed her most sensitive parts. I hooked an arm under Twilight's leg and lifted it up, forcing her to lean against the wall for balance as I put her knee on my shoulder, and lined up my cock with her entrance, now thoroughly lubed by the streaming water pouring down our bodies. I parted her outer lips easily, and slid into her with a wet schlick. She moaned as I hilted myself, and I set my feet against a couple of larger nubs in the floor, giving me the traction I needed to start building up a rhythm. The wet slap of my hips against her inner thighs punctuated each schlick as I pushed in and pulled out of her pussy. Behind me, I could hear Pinkie groaning, fueling my arousal and prompting me to go faster, making Twilight's breasts swing back and forth.
"Twilight. I'm going to finish quickly this time." I wondered if she even heard me past my own grunting and the sounds of our fucking, until she nodded.
"Okay. Just pull out first. I want to taste it."
I let out a single, stifled laugh, and fucked her harder, making her whinny with pleasure as my dick slid roughly along her walls. Finally, I could feel my balls tighten, and I pulled out, allowing her to fall to her knees in front of me. She opened her mouth and stuck out her tongue, looking at me with pleading eyes. Pinkie quickly scooted against her, and grabbed Twilight's cheeks with a single finger each, pulling out to give me a bigger target as I jerked myself furiously. As the first spurts pulsed out of my dick, I lowered myself down, and put the head of my cock against Twilight's tongue, shooting my load directly into her mouth. She groaned with lusty appreciation, and once I had squeezed out the last couple drops, she engulfed my tip and sucked it dry. I watched her cheeks move as she swirled my cum, then she froze for a moment before showing me her empty mouth. I smiled with barely-contained desire as she made it apparent she had swallowed all of my cum. I pulled both of them up, and gave each a kiss as I squeezed their flanks.
"Alright, girls. We've had our fun, now we need to finish up here before we have to go and actually take care of other things."
Author's Note
Which do you choose?