Chapters Our Daily Life Living With Ponies.
The Prologue of Before-the-main-story-ness!
Chapter 0.5
The Prologue of Before-the-main-story-ness
James, and Mark. Mark and James. Two average geeks. Or nerds. Or whatever. THEY PLAY THA VIDJA GAMES. That they do. And so, one day, we find these two unlikely, unknowing, and probably uncaring heroes, sat down, playing on their consoles.
"FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!"
Here we go.. sigh
"Shut the hell up, James. The water temple can't be that bad, can it?" Mark was saying, as his hand promptly wrapping around his friends mouth. Cooties, motherfucker.
Prying Mark's hand away from his lips, James frowned. "Dude, you have no idea. Here, have a go. You'll see."
5 minutes later
"THIS IS BULLSHIT! THIS GAME IS FUCKING BULLSHIT."
"DO YOU HEAR THE VOICES TOO?!" James got up slowly, walking over to a table, with a pack of candles on top. Grabbing the table, he placed it in the centre of the room, then started juggling 5 candles, rapidly.
"LOUD AND CLEAR." Mark jumped back across the room, landing opposite James. Placing the jar, full of small pebbles in the very centre of the table, he tipped it upside down, then started to spread the pebbles into a pentagram.
James, meanwhile, stopped juggling his candles- Eehheheheh... -And placed them in the corners of the star, as he flicked a lighter out of his pocket, lit the candles one by one, then slid it up his sleeve.
"Ready?"
AS the two opened their mouths, a wide grin came onto their faces.
And with that...oddity done, they fell over backwards, laughing their asses off.
"Anyway! Drinks, Jamie?" Mark asked, wiping a tear from his eye.
"I'll take a large martini, shaken, not stirred, with a slice of melon." Jamie smirked, looking up from his place on the floor, and then seeing Mark's head looking over him, mouthing what he hat just said.
"A slice of mel-.... Fuck you. Just fuck you." Laughing loudly, he wandered casually over to the kitchen door, and then opened it.
3. 2. 1... IN COMING
"WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?!"
Author's Note
So! My first Fanfic, and CLIFFHANGER.
So many questions to be answered.
Our Daily Life Living With Ponies.
Chapter 1
A New Discovery
"WHAT IN THE FLYING FUCK IS GOING ON HERE!?" Mark scrambled back out the kitchen, kicking the door shut.
And then the door slammed shut, Mark walking casually over to James now.
Ah yes, Mark and James.
"The fuck is up with you, bro?" James said, laughing. "And nice voice acting"
And that was Jamie. He was 6 foot tall, and 120 pounds. Mark is skinny as all fuck, t'was all.
"Come on, man. What is up with you? Oh, and you sounded just like Pinkie Pie the~ AHHH! WHAT ARE YOU DOING. COOTIES" James was laughing as Mark picked him up, silently, and carried him over to the kitchen door.
As Mark deposited his burden in front of the door, he pointed silently at it. James, now seeming to be slightly worried, looked at the door, then back at his friend, smiling every so slightly. "Dammit Mark, if you have poisoned my drink, I'mma beat you. In the face."
"Well then."
"HEYWHOAREYOUYOULOOKDIFFERENTTOTHEOTHERONEWHATAREYOUALSOWHEREISTHEOTHERPERSONIDONTTHINKHEWASEXPECTINGMEHIII!!!"
James turned around, looked at his best friend in wonder, then laughed happily.
It seemed to be a large bubble floating in the middle of the kitchen. Slightly cloudy around the edges, but still. A giant. Freaking. Bubble.
Cuz why not.
Anyway. Inside this bubble, was..well. A giant eye. A very large eye, almost perfectly round, with a pupil almost half the size of the eye, with a blue iris around it. Which quickly formed into a bright pink pony, with an incredibly curly tail and mane.
"OOHOOH. I'LL BE RIGHT BACK GONNA GET TWILIIIGGH~"
Mark looked at James. James looked at Mark. The sound of two palms hitting the corresponding faces rang out. And then uncontrollable laughter.
"Well, James. We have made a bubble to another dimension full of ponies. As such, I conclude that thier is only one thing to do." Mark laughed slightly, having recovered magnificently from his earlier shock.
"I agree, Mark. It is only logical." James chuckled then stepped forward, looking at the bubble, Mark right next to him.
Plot twist in 3. 2. 1. HEERE WE GO
They brought thier fingers forward, and then gasped, as said fingers slid slowly through the opening of the bubble, deeper, deeper, deeper...
"WILL YOU STOP THAT?!" James shouted, a slight blush on his cheeks. Mark blinked slightly, looking at his friend.
"Nothing nothing. Just...Nothing. ANYWAY. I conclude that this bubble...is infact a portal. Shall we?"
Cuz fuck safety.
Our Daily Life Living With Ponies.
Chapter Two
Oh, Hai Mark
In a moment down went Alice after it, never once considering how in the world she was to get out again. In a metaphorical term. And the portal was behind them. Yeah.
So, our two heroes walked into a bubble, and out of another. Which is fucking impossible. Seriously, physics, make sense please. Four-Dimensional objects, please
"HOW DOES THIS WORK. I MEAN. WE WALKED OUT OF A BUBBLE, AFTER GOING INTO ONE.
Well, the one that CAN'T hear me agrees.
Anyway, as our two heroes touch down by a bright blue pond, they look around, Mark still rambling on about why this couldn't POSSIBLY happen. EVER.
The two were by the side of a large-ish pond, the reflection of the sky making it blue. On the opposite side of the lake, was 2 small hills, with a small amount of shrubbery on the left hill. The right hill, was only half there, with a cliff on the one side. On the top of this hill was a gnarled tree, leaning over the edge of the cliff. In the distance, was a small mountain range, curved and undulating, with multiple pine trees strewn about it.
"I MEAN, REALLY NOW, IT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE SENSE, LIKE WH~"
The reason for his outburst was pretty damn apparent, as he had been knocked to the floor, rather heavily, with the pink pony on top of his stomach, her forelegs on his shoulders, her nose just inches from his, and a wide grin plastered onto her face.
"HEY. My name is Pinkie Pie, What's yours?!" She said excitedly, bouncing up and down on top of him.
Well then. Not even two minutes in, and getting fris~
"IT'S NOT LIKE THAT, FUCK YOU"
Sorry, jeez..
"What the fuck are you two talking about?" Mark said, laughing slightly, as he looked at the two on the floor, watching a slight blush appear on their cheeks. Interestingly, Pinkie's blush was a dark pink in colour, slightly darker than her hair. Chuckling lightly, he turned round, away from the lake. And then he noticed the second pony.
On her flank was a marking, of five white, six -pointed stars, around a larger pink star, with the points of a small white star visible behind it. Her eyes, again very large, had dark purple irises, and on her head was a spiral horn.
"Uh. Good day. It seems you can talk, so you are most likely sentient. What are you? And.. Pinkie! Get off of it.."
"SORRY TWILIGHT" Pinkie jumped off of James, giggling as she did. However, she did step in a rather... unfortunate place.
As James assumed the fetal position, crying slightly inside for his future children, Mark shook his head slowly, and then chuckled slightly. "Well, my name is Mark. And that faggot there is called James. Twilight, and Pinkie, yes?"
"YEPYEPTHATSME.OH, HAI MARK. OOOH. I'VE GOT TO DO SOMETHING." And then silence.
"Did she just...teleport?" Mark asked, laughing hard. I mean, it isn't everyday you see a god damn pink pony vanish instantaneously.
"No. she Pinkieported. Don't ask. Anyway..Could you follow me? I would like to ask a few questions about you two?" Twilight looked at the pair, James slowly getting up, and then shook her head slowly. "If that is ok..?"
"Sure"
Hahaha.
"FUCK YOU. Anyway. MARK. ASSUME THE COMMANDO POSITION" James said, chuckling slightly.
-10 minutes, and a lot of sneaky shit later-
"OUCH."
And that was the sound of Mark standing up, his knees collapsing spectacularly, and then falling over. Twilight looked behind her, then shook her head slightly, before giggling. James, meanwhile, simply crawled over Mark, making sure to step on his head, before maneuvering himself to sit cross-legged.
"Fuck you, James." Came a muffled response from the floor, laughing slightly, before stretching his arms and legs out, kicking the door closed of Twilight Sparkle's Treehouse.
As in, it was a tree, made into a house, with windows, a balcony, the whole shebang. It was a rather large tree, and there was even a room in the leaves, as well as a balcony at the very top of the tree, with a telescope.
"Don't kick my door!" Twilight says, rather irritated sounding.
And was greeted by an expression of pure terror.
Author's Note
So, Chapter 2 done.
Next chapter will be out tomorrow or the day after. :3
Our Daily Life Living With Ponies.
Chapter 3
Rejection
"Y-y-you are human?!" Twilight said, backing away in fear.
Mark looked at James, worried now. Twilight, having been so calm before he had stood up, was terrified of the pair now. Something had happened before they came here, it seems.
"Yes..we are. What's wrong, Twilight?" James said, looking up at her from the floor. He stood up, slowly, to stand by Mark, looking worriedly at Twilight, then gently reaching out a hand.
"STAY AWAY FROM ME!" Twilight scooted away, panicking now, as her horn started to glow with a purple aura. Looking at James in fear, she lowered her head, and fired a blast of magical energy at him. Mark reacted faster than James, though, and swept his legs out from under him, making him collapse to the floor.
"Twilght! Calm down. We'll go, if you are that scared of us.." Mark said, his eyes downcast. "Sorry for your trouble.."
Twilight was backed up against the far wall in fear, nodding rapidly in response to Mark's statement. She was mumbling rapidly, and, to be honest, was looking quite insane, her mane puffing out in random directions.
James, slowly getting up, looked at Mark. And saw something die slightly, behind his friends eyes. And, he could feel something inside him die, as well as feeling something die inside him. My Little Pony. Hated them..
Mark and James crawled back out of Twilight's tree, sighing slightly. They made thier way back to the lake in silence, sitting down, and looking at the portal. James sighed lightly, then laid back, slowly. "Shall we go, buddy?" He said heavily, then sighed. "I was looking forward to this...Hmm? Where you off too?"
Mark nodded to his left as he stood up, towards a large forest, about a mile and half away. It was..dark. Vines draping off of the trees, and crazily gnarled branches everywhere. All in all, rather..imposing.
James watched his friend walk over the small hill, he sighed lightly, then looked up at the sky, watching the clouds float past him.So, Twilight hates us. Assuming that the rest of Ponyville feels the same way...we should go as soon as possible. If a strong pony finds us... we may not survive. They hate humans...so..a human has come here before us. And abused the ponies here? Innocent ponies. The BAST~
His top half was suddenly thrown forwards, as two cyan coloured forehooves slammed down into his stomach. Forcing himself to stay conscious, he saw a rainbow coloured mane in front of him, then blinked slowly as he started to cough heavily. Then, one hacking cough later, and blood started to flow down his chin.Like this. There's one lung gone. Why am I so calm?
He looked up at the mare that was sat on his chest, his eyes threatening to close. Permanently. The mare - Rainbow Dash, he recognized through his blurry vision- had an expression of pure rage on her visage. So angry, that her attempted hit to his head with her left forehoof missed, and hit the floor by him.
"Wh-why can't...you people...leave us ALONE. Y-You.." She was then cut off, as James rested his hand lightly by her right ear, gently pushing her off. He looked as his arm, in wonder. It felt about 5 times heavier than it did normally..
"Sorry...I have never been here before...And..AGH!" This noise was from him standing up. More blood was starting to be coughed up from his lungs.
"I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR FRIEND! YOU... YOU.." And with that, she put her head down, and started to sob heavily.
Rainbow Dash pulled away quickly, then looked at the human male, terrified, but calmed....very slightly. She still seemed about ready to beat the hay out of James...and then her eyes went wide, as he swayed heavily.
"Tell Mark I said hey.."
Author's Note
James...what shall happen to him?!
Our Daily Life Living With Ponies.
Chapter 3
The Hospital
A giant heart, beating in the sky over a cracked plain. To the side, a lung, contracting in time to the heart. However, this was incredibly slow, dangerous if in a living person. James was sat on a rock, in the centre of this lonely wasteland. He sighed slightly, looking at his bare chest. A gaping hole in his chest, where his heart and right lung would be, was starting to close, very slowly. laying back, he smiled lightly. At least he would no longer cause trouble for the ponies..
"What manner of creature art thou?" A voice was heard, very close. James opened his eyes slowly, looking up into the muzzle of a pony, one that he had not seen before.
The speaker, as he sat up to get a better look, was a dark blue pony, with both wings, and a horn. An alicorn. Her mane and tail was translucent, and flowed in the breeze. Except there was no breeze here. They were dark blue on the outside, going to a slightly lighter blue in the inside. On her head, was a very dark blue crown. with three rounded spikes on top of it. Around her neck, was a kind of scarf, with a picture of a moon. And on her feet, silver slippers.
"I am...someone who does not belong here. I am human." James said, smiling slightly at her, before sighing, and looking down. "I am dead, or asleep. And if I am in Ponyville still, I never want to wake up. I don't want them to be hurt.
Looking back at the alicorn, he saw fear, anger...and sadness in her eyes. As he opened his mouth to speak, he was cut off by her. "It is true that thine species has hurt in the past. But you are a different one to the one before. As is the one suffering from his own mind." She said, looking up at the heart. It was speeding up now, getting healthier, as James chest closed up. "I wish thee luck, human. Look after thineself, and thine friend." James looked blank for a minute, then smiled widely, as the heart started to beat at a healthy pace. And then everything faded to black
"UGH~"
Smiling happily at the sentiment of the heart monitor, he looked around him. The room was fairly small, as well as the bed being slightly too small for him. Rubbing his eyes, he could feel a slight weight on his left arm. Looking down, he could see a cyan head, with a rainbow mane. Rainbow Dash, sleeping peacefully on his arm. Moving his right arm over his chest, and then gasping slightly in pain. His chest ACHED. Chuckling painfully, he patted her head lightly, running his hand through her mane.
Rainbow squirmed slightly, then jerked away, looking up in a panic.
"Don't worry about it. Well. Thanks for the apology, you almost killed me. But.. meh. How did you persuade them to help me?" He looked curious, then shrugged. "Probably cuz every body...Pony, trusts you, am I right?" He grinned lightly down at the brightly coloured mare, stroking her ear lightly.
A soft blush forming on Rainbow's cheek, she nodded proudly. "Of course! Everypony trusts Rainbow Dash! I asked the hospital to take care of you..After..yeah." She looked away, from the human's chest, as he sat up. His chest had a slight dent in it, from where her hooves had hit, but all of his ribs where in place again. If slightly misshapen.
"It's ok, Dash. Any idea where Mark is, anyhow?" James said, smiling lightly as he looked down himself, then under the blanket of his hospital bed. At least his boxers were still on. "And my clothes?" He chuckled lightly at the blush formed on Rainbow Dash's cheek.
"Umm... he has been doing odd jobs for the past few days. He'll be in town, most likely. Your clothes would...be in this." Dash dove under James' bed for a second, before pulling out a smallish plastic box with her mouth. Putting the box on James' lap, she looked up at him, and smiled softly.
"YEAH!"
Author's Note
Lol - Scott
^My college mate. :D
Our Daily Life Living With Ponies.
Chapter 4
Reunited
Mark was walking around the centre of town, towards Sugarcube corner. Or, was trying to. He had forgotten where it was. And the pony on his head trying to give directions wasn't helping..
Chuckling lightly, Mark sighed, poking Applebloom with his free hand. She was meant to deliver a basket of apples from Sweet Apple Acres... but had slightly misjudged how strong she was. And then Mark had came along, and had offered to help. Reluctant at first, Applebloom had set a condition. If she could ride on his head, Mark could help her. So, here they were, Applebloom riding sitting atop of Mark's head. Mark lifted his finger, and poked her side.
"Dahn't poke meh, it tickles, Mark!"
"What shop? And nice hat, Mark"
"I'm good, man." James says, Dash nodding in agreement. "What happened to your eye..?"
Dash was looking away, in disgust, as James stared in wonder, and sheer ewwness. "Turns out The EverFree Forest isn't a fun place to be. They had to amputate my eye to stop it getting infected." Closing his eye, he smiled lightly at the pair, before getting hit in the head by Applebloom.
"Dangnammit, Mark, you know ah hate that!"
James sighed slightly, then laughed shakily. "Anyway. Apart from your eye, whatcha doing? And...what shop?" He said, smiling softly, if a little nervously.
"You are both idiots." Dash said, laughing hard. James rapidly deteriotaing into laughter.
Author's Note
Shorter Chapter here.
Next one will be a bit longer than average though. :D
Our Daily Life Living With Ponies.
Chapter 5
Of Cupcakes
So, the terrible foursome walk towards Sugarcube Corner, the bakery. James, Rainbow Dash, Mark, and his faithful hat, Applebloom, all chuckling over Mark's and Applebloom's idiocy of not seeing the giant store looking like it was made of cakes, pastries, gingerbread, all manner of sweet treats.
YEAH. FUCKING CAKES. I mean, it is rather hard to miss. Also, Remember me?
"OH, GO AWAY!" James said loudly, then facepalmed, as the other three looked at him in confusion.
Mark laughed, then opened the door to the bakery, smiling ever so slightly, as a loud, giggling voice was heard. "HEY MARK, HEY APPLEBLOOM!"
So, everyone except AppleBloom blushing furiously, they enter the Bakery. Finally. The interior of Sugarcube Corner was pretty similar to the front. Cake-like. The entire place looked like it was carved out of gingerbread. There was an Umbrella stand filled with giant candy canes, the pillars looked like sticks of rock, even the wall decorations were sweets. A wondrous place indeed.
James' mouth was wide open, looking at all the pastries on display. Heaven is a place in Equestria. He thought, laughing out loud. "MOFRICKIN SWWEETS. I want them all." He shouted, drooling slightly. Mark facepalmed, and then grabbed his friend's chin, closing his mouth up. Sighing, Mark handed over the basket of apples to Pinkie.
"Ooooh! Thank you! These will go in the next batch of Apple Pies! That's...30 bits for the Apple Family. And here you two go!" She handed Applebloom a bag of golden coins, and then 5 separate coins, and giving the same amount to Mark.
And with that, there was a distinct lack of Applebloom. Looking around, everyone faceappendaged, then laughed lightly. Pinkie, now magically in between Mark and Rainbow Dash, pulled them in, her back hoof grabbing James' hand, and pulling him into the group hug as well.
"NOW. WHO WANTS TO MAKE CUPCAKES!!" Pinkie said loudly. Dash, weirdly, got a little shiver of terror at these words, but ignored it. "Nah, you know I'm bad at cooking, Pinkie. Lets do pranks soon though!"
"Awww...Ok Dash! Have fun with whatever you're doing today!"
And with that, the fun began~
"Alright, what do we have?" Pinkie Pie asked. She threw every cupboard door in the entire shop open and bounced around trying to find all of the necessary ingredients for her cupcakes. "Cup of flour, something sweet, not sour, a pinch of salt and a teaspoon of vanilla...vanilla? Where's the vanilla? How can we not have vanilla?"
Turning behind her, she saw that her two minions were already searching through boxes, until ~
~~~A few Hours later~~~
Mess, mess everywhere. And a lot of laughter. Mark looked like a ghost from the amount of flour on him, James had chocolate in his hair, and Pinkie...was completly clear. Somehow.
"Pinkie, you are like an anomaly in logic, and it's hilarious." Mark said, laughing, before getting almost blasted backwards. Pinkie was blowing on him, somehow at the force of a hurricane, and then smiled, tackling him too the ground and hugging him. She had also got every last bit of flour off of him.
Then, gently, she nuzzled into his neck, sighing contently. Blushing lightly, Mark sighed, then wrapped his arms around her midriff, pulling her close. Feeling her breath lightly on his neck, he blushed brighter, and squirmed.
"Well. I'm gonna go. Leave you two to yer own devices" James said, chuckling slightly,
"Pink-"
Author's Note
CUPCAKES MOTHER BUCKERS.
I liked writing this chapter. :D
Our Daily Life Living With Ponies.
Chapter 6
Nightmares
James walked out of the bakery, laughing. And then sighed. "God damnit. I need a shower, new clothes...least I have cupcakes."
Opening the plastic box under his arm, he grabbed a bright orange cupcake, and bit into it. "Mmmn. Orange." Chuckling to himself, he turned round, to see a ivory coloured mare. A unicorn to be exact, judging from the white horn poking from her forehead. Her mane was purple, and tightly curled. Blinking lightly, he swallowed his orangey cupcake mouthful, then smiled politely.
"Good day.. Is there anything I can help you with, miss?"
The unicorn looked back at him, then at his unzipped jumper, rather disdainfully, tutting loudly. "Now, this won't do, will it. I mean, look at you, your clothes are a mess! What have you been doing, rolling through bushes. Or chocolate.." She sighed slightly, looking at James' hair. Then she shook her head. "Pinkie been having fun with food again, I see. Anyway, let's go. I'll sort you out some new garments."
James blinked, then shook his head. "It's fine. I have no money anyway.."
"Ah ah. None of that. You can have your first outfit for free, I insist. I did the same for Mark, you can have the same treatment. Now, no more arguments, and let us be off. My shop is just round the corner, you know."
Sighing in defeat, and sheer *I Don't Give A Damn Anymore-ness* James, sensibly, followed her.
Giving a soft huff, James was stood in the centre of the Carousel Boutique, but smiling ever so slightly. The ivory coloured pony, Rarity she had said, first having let him take a shower (It was a little too small for humans, but a kind gesture none the less) was looking at different coloured cloth and fabric, all the while levitating three or four tape measures, and rapidly extending and contracting them, before flying them back over to her side. "Strange. You have a lot more muscle density than Mark. And no trace of magical interference."
"Uhh...What?" James said, raising an eyebrow, then shaking his head.
"Hrmm. Twilight would be better to explain this. She knows more about magic than I, even though I can use it." James nodded once, then felt his hoodie slide off of his arms, then large squares of black material wrap around his arms. Blinking slightly, then tensing up as scissors start to cut up the material, into sleeves, the back of a hoodie, the hood. Then, white material went onto his arms, and started to stitch themselves into a half-spiders web on one arm, and the Hyrulian Crest on the other.
"Mark told me a little about your likes and dislikes. And what you find "Cool"" She even did quotation marks with her hooves. "He sounded like Rainbow Dash. I believe you two have met." Chuckling slightly, she smiled at him kindly, then nodded, standing back, admiring her handywork. "Well, I don't say that I agree with the style, but It gives me something good to work with. Now then! Shall we go find Twilight? Perhaps she can explain magic to you."
"Ok. And thanks! I'll pay you back!"
Mark was already at Twilight Sparkle's treehouse, reading quietly in the corner. As James, and Rarity walked in, he looked up, waved once, then went back down to his book. Twilight, the pony that had shouted at them when they had first came here, was resting her head on Mark's shoulder, reading with him. Then noticing James and Rarity, she smiled lightly, and then waved at them. "Hello! Take a seat, the others should be here soon."
Mark smiled slightly, then blinked/winked with his one eye. "You get to see your favourite pony, James."
"Yeah. Reading up on the things that attacked me. Timber Wolves, they seem to be enchanted bundles of sticks, in the shape of wolves. They are vicious, driven by a inhumane desire to feed off of the magical energy that made them. Me and Twilight were figuring out how they found me. She can't sense any magical energy from me at all."
"Well, that is rather odd. but, lets save it for when the oth-" And with that, the door was rapidly knocked on. James laughed, and said lightly. "I'll get the door. Wonder who that co-"
"HEY!" A familiar, rainbow coloured pony flew into the room, rainbow trails and all. She flew once around the room, then knocked James to the floor, sitting casually on his chest. "Yo. Whassup, big guy."
One was an orange color, with a blond mane, and tail, tied in a (heh) ponytail. On her head was a brown Stetson hat, and she had bright green eyes. On her flank were 3 marks, shaped like apples. She was looking cautiously around the library, and her eyes narrowed slightly when she saw James and Mark. When the latter ignored her, being absorbed in his book, and the former waved cheerily, she relaxed somewhat, and nuzzled the second pony gently inside. "Don't ya worry, Flutters. If they hurt ya, Ah'll beat tha hay outta 'em"
The second pony walked in, just behind the orange one. This one was a custard yellow colour, with a pink, straight mane, going over one eye, and behind the opposite ear, curling to frame her head, and curling again at the end of both parts of her mane. She also had two wings, the colour of her coat. Her tail was again pink, and wavy, and her cutie mark was 3 butterflies, pink winged, and blue bodied. And her eyes were a bright teal, but were half closed, and she looked terrified..
Staring at, what to her was a One-eyed monster, Flutters whimpered, then stopped when she saw the wide smile on Mark's face. "THAT WAS SO CUTE!" Laughing, he knelt next to her, and snuggled tightly into her, before chuckling, and letting her go.
"Here, Twilight!" Pinkie Pie, the bane of logic everywhere, had materialised, instantaneously, on top of Mark's head, sitting crosslegged. Mark, as soon as Pinkie had shown herself, collapsed from the weight. "GOD DAMN IT PINKIE!" he shouted, as she skipped off of him. "Sorry!!! And the chocolate on your nose was tasty!"
"Shut up, Dash."
"No, you"
"Shut it, the pair of you." Twilight said, sighing slightly. "Now, seeing as we now have two resident humans." At this, Twilight, Flutters, and the orange mare all shivered slightly, then straightened back up. "Anyway. Introductions are in order. As you two know, I am Twilight Sparkle, the librarian in this town, and the student to Princess Celestia."
Rarity then spoke up, bowing slightly with one leg. "And I, am Rarity, Dressmaker and Fashonista of Ponyville. Of course, as you are aware, it is not only dresses I make." At this, she looked pointedly at the hoodie James was wearing. Before Mark, or James could talk, the orange coloured pony bowed, by placing one foreleg across the other, and nodding her head, politely.
"Uhh... Yah.. But.."
"Helped her carry a basket of apples to SugarCube Corner."
Before they could continue their conversation, Rainbow Dash interrupted, smiling broadly. "And I am Rainbow Dash, fastest flyer in Equestria, and pegasus in charge of weather here in Ponyville. Ain't I the coolest." This wasn't a question, but James answered anyway, smiling slightly. Rarity sighed, facehoofed, then looked pointedly at Pinkie and Fluttershy.
"AND YOU ALL ARE MY BEST FRI...Wha-what" She started to blush brightly, then shake her head, clearing her head from some random image, before walking over to Mark, and nuzzling his hip slightly.
Then the yellow mare spoke up. "H-hey..I'm Fl-fluttershy...." everyone looked at her, expecting more, but nothing more was put forward. Shrugging slightly, James smiled, then spoke up.
"So, Hey! I'm James, and I...well, I love computers." The ponies, expecially Twilight, frowned in confusion. "Uhh...think tiny machines, that can move entire libraries of information. And games. I love to play games, with Mark here. And cookies. Cookies are yummy.."
Before Twilight, who looked like she was going to explode from excitement, could speak, Mark spoke up, grinning. "And I'ma be Mark. Uhh....I like to draw, and games. ALL OF THE GAMES. And computers, but not as in depth as James.. I'm more of the one who looks at what is ON computers, not in them."
There was a odd noise, then Twilight spoke up.
"Not actual libraries, just the information stored in them. Here.." Mark reached into his pocket, and pulled out James' phone, unlocking it, and then just stopped, confused.
"James...."
James looked at Mark, then put his hand infront of him, slightly apart. "Magic."
Mark chuckled slightly, then started tapping the screen of the phone, bringing up Google. After a few seconds, he was on Wikipedia. Somehow, the magic of Equestria seemed to be keeping the phone charged, and fully connected to the internet. Maybe the Internet really DID go everywhere.
"Twilight, have a look at this."
"Maybe here. For us, no. But you can do things we can never dream of.."
At that, however, Rarity spoke up. "Darlings, there is something I need to say. Mark, could you come here a second? Thank you. Twilight, you as well. Now, could you do a simple spell on him?"
Twilight blinked, then concentrated, looking at Mark. Her horn started to glow a dark pink, and then, immediately afterwards, an aura, of the same colour flashed over him. And then she gasped slightly, aura dissapearing.
Mark blinked, then shrugged casually. "I did? I don't feel different.."
"Well...it wasn't much.. but...that should not be possible..Maybe.."
"Twilight, could ya do this in private? I don't understand any of it.." Dash said, confused looking.
"No, Dash, they need to know..and so do we. Anyway. I don't know how you can absorb magic. I don't even get how Equestrian magic can affect you." Mark looked at James, then shrugged lightly, blinking, with both eyes, showing his broken eye.
James cringed slightly...and then smiled shakily. He looked at his friend's eye, then at his hands.
Twilight opened her mouth to argue, then shook her head,levitating a chopping knife from the kitchen. Passing it to James, she cocked her head to the side. AppleJack, however, was looking away, shaking slightly. She visibly cringed, along with the other ponies, when she heard the knife cut through James' palm.
Rainbow Dash, and Mark, spoke at the same time.
Mark stopped talking, staring at James' hand. A faint, dark blue aura appeared around the cut, then dissapeared. Twilight looked at James, then sighed slightly, shaking her head rapidly, before doing the same scan spell she did to Mark.
"It's....faint. But all over his body...It's a little like AppleJack's...but stronger. You... have the same magic as an Earth Pony..I do not get how this is possible.."
"Bl-blood as a me-me-medium? O-or maybe as an op-o-opening." The timid mare, Fluttershy, spoke up. Twilight nodded, still confused, but formulating a theory in her mind. The rest of the room could almost hear the cogs working.
"Maybe...maybe Fluttershy is right. The wounds you have allow Equestria's magic to seep in...I don't know. We will have to experiment. Then I can get a complete theory."
"Sounds like great fun.."
Author's Note
Oh god help me.
MMMMOOOOOAAAARRRR!!!!!!
God damn it Jamie. :3
Our Daily Life Living With Ponies.
Chapter 8
More Magic!
The 6 mares, and our two strapping heroes, had headed out of Twilight Sparkle's house, and were now at the lake. The lake where it had all started. A point that was completely lost on James and Mark.
"Ok! What we doing here, Twily?" James said, laughing slightly. He was stood in the centre of a circle of ponies, and Mark, who was grinning like a madman. "And what are you smiling at, Joker?"
"I want your lifeless body when we are through. I'm gonna make you into a coat." Mark laughed, flipping James a double birdy, his tongue hanging out slightly.
"Uh. Ok. ANYWAY. Twily?"
Twilight nodded slightly, looking at Mark with confusion, before shakng her head, and speaking up. "OK. So, what we are going to do here, is test out any and all magical abilities you two may have. As such, as a test, I want you to put your hand on the floor, James?"
James nodded, kneeled down, and placed his hand on the earth. "Ok? Like thi- Woah. Ok, that feels weird..."~
"What feels wierd?" Twilight had somehow pulled a notebook and quill out of nowhere, most likely her ass, and was noting down everything James said.
"I dunno. I feel...stronger, I guess? Like, energy is pumping through me."
Applejack nodded, smiling. "Yeah, tha's what happens ta me, sugarcube. As fer Pinkie?" Everyone looked at Pinkie, who was vibrating up and down with excitement. "Yeah."
"Anyway. James, I want you to hit the floor, as hard as you wish." Twilight said, smiling slightly.
"As hard as I want?"
"Yep."
James looked at Mark. Mark looked at James. They both nodded.
Lifting his hand high in the air, he grinned cockily.
"BY THE POWER OF GRAYSKULL, THE NINE DIVINES, AND SWEET BABY TAP-DANCING JESUS. FAALLLLCCCOOOONNN....."
Slamming his hand down, he cried out, in sync with Mark.
"PAAWWWNNCCHHH!!!"
And then the world detonated outwards, sending everyone flying away from James.
Author's Note
Our Daily Life Living With Ponies.
Chapter 10
Shenanigans
So, with the stunning revelation that Mark may in fact be part dragon, they trooped back to the treebary. Dash had fallen asleep, so James was giving her a Piggie Back, whilst Mark and Pinkie Pie had picked up Fluttershy, and were running around in a kind of three man/woman/mare/pony/thing jumble of what-the-flying-fuckness. Cuz yeah.
"Settle down you two. I don't want Fluttershy to be hu-UURT!" Twilight exclaimed, before the three ran into the group. What happened next was sheer shenanigans. Rainbow Dash woke up, and then fell off of James. Her kicking legs smacked him in the back of the thigh, sending him falling backwards, before a flying Rarity span him round, making him land face to face with Rainbow, pinning her arms down. Meanwhile, Rarity had crashed into Applejack and Fluttershy, knocking Fluttershy to rest against James' side, whilst Rarity had accidentally locked lips with Applejack, their hooves flailing to find Twilight, Rarity's hooves knocking her to the floor, whilst Applejack's managing to slide between her legs. Mark and Pinkie had been bowled over, resting near Fluttershy, top to tail, giving Mark an..interesting view. He then spoke up.
"Why is my hand wet?" A soft moan from Fluttershy gave him all the answer he needed. "Oh. Well then.." He tried to move his hand, and then stopped as a louder gasp was heard from the shy pony.
"Mark, I do not know what you are doing to her, but not whilst she is sat against me, please!" James said, irritated.
"Yes, Darling. I think we should ALL get out of this compromising position." She sounded angry, and very embarrassed. That anger was directed mostly at Mark.
"Indeed. Pinkie, you are giving me a good show, but could you get off, please?" Mark said. Pinkie looked behind her, then down, grinning all the while, before hopping off. Mark stood up, slowly deattaching himself from Fluttershy.
"Yes, anyway." Mark looked around, surveying the damage. Rarity had pulled back from her kiss with Applejack, and was frowning at Mark and Pinkie. Applejack was sharing at shock at her wet hoof. Why was her hand we- Ohhh. Twilight. Right. James was still pinning Dashie down, Dash with a shocked face, and a massive blush on her face. Mark hooked his foot underneath James' stomach, and flipped him off of Dash, rolling him over. This allowed Fluttershy to fall backwards, gasping slightly still. She looked towards Dash, through half-lidded eyes, before pulling her into a deep kiss.
"WELL THEN." James and Rarity said at the same time, before Mark and Twilight separated the couple. Well, more like Fluttershy pushing down Rainbow.
"I think we broke her."
"You mean your FINGERS broke her"
"Yeah, that one."
"Lets head to the treebary, guys."
"GUIZE. TREEBARY. NAOW"
And now they were in the treebary, about 10 minutes after the fiasco outside. Fluttershy had wanted to "go to the bathroom." Her moans were heard throughout the library.
"God fucking dammit Mark. You broke the rules"
"Sorry man.." Mark said, chuckling slightly. He was leaned up against the wall nearest the bathroom, with Pinkie sat on his lap, and Fluttershy sat next to them. Pinkie was literally just sat there though, like she was on the floor. James and Rainbow were sharing a cushion of the couch, letting Twilight sit on the other cushion. On the couch opposite, Rarity and Applejack were sat down,looking away from each other, blushing.
"Anyway. So the gist of it is that me and Markypoo over there can absorb a LOT of magic. As such, until we can control said magic, no magic shenanigans, correct?" James said, bored sounding.
"Yep, that's about it. I need to send a letter to the Princess! SPIKE!"
James looked at Mark. Mark looked at James. They stood up, picking up the rest of the ponies, and trooping out of the door. They didn't want to be in there for that.
"Y'know what? I'm hungry.."
"THEN LET'S GET CUPCAKKEESSS!!!!"
After the rest of the ponies had been put down, ~~Fluttershy still furiously masturbating~~ they decided to go to SugarCube Corner, to grab some confectionery items, and then go have a picnic. Seemed like a great idea.
Author's Note
Whut the HELL did you do to poor fluttershy
Accidentally touched her. Inappropriately, My bad...
Our Daily Life Living With Ponies.
Chapter 11
Picnic. OMNOMNOM
Lets follow James, Rainbow Dash, and AppleJack for now, shall we?
"So then, what are you two lovebirds thinking?" Applejack said, a wide grin on her face, as she looked at James giving Rainbow another Piggyback.da
Rainbow blushed, and shook her head. "We aren't lovebirds, Applejack, and I wa-"
"Buck you, big guy!" Rainbow said, punching his arm, and hiding her raging blush-ner in his neck.
"Shut up, AJ!" Rainbow said, trying to get free from James' Iron Grip. (Copyright. All Rights and Reserves go towards James. No exceptions.) "And let me go!" She then gasped, as he span round, letting her go, and catching again when they were nose to nose. Err.. Muzzle. Err...Fuck these ponies and their anatomies.
So, they were nose to appendage, and Rainbow was blushing furiously. James smirked slightly, and whispered. "Oh hey."
"Sugarcube, Ah think Rainbow is gonna set on fire if you don't stop" Applejack said, looking apprehensively at her friend. James smiled lightly, but mischievously, before licking Rainbow's cheek, *POOMF*
"Uh.. Rainbow. Why are your wings out."
"NO REASON!" With that, Rainbow ran on ahead, to Sugarcube corner.
"Applejack. What the flying fuck just happened."
"I'll tell yah later. Let's catch up, sugarcube."
Time for Mark, Pinkie, Fluttershy, and Rarity, it seems.
Rarity was thinking. She was a little ways away from the other three, and for a good reason. It seemed like her two friends had a crush on the human. This may make for some tasty gossip, but that wasn't right to do to the Element of Kindness. Pinkie wouldn't mind too much, but the butter yellow Pegasus was very sensitive. She sighed, shaking her head. before realizing something. Pinkie was clueless about feelings. She was also instinctive, doing things on sheer impulse. She could do something silly...And possibly be hurt. She wondered what her friends were thinking...
Fluttershy was looking towards Mark, before flicking her eyes downwards, shaking her head. She couldn't bring her self around to tell him. Not after what had happened earlier..she was so embarrassed. Someone who had barely spoken to her had touched her. TOUCHED her. And she enjoyed it. Was she dirty?! Shaking her head from these thoughts, she sighed. Pinkie liked him, that was obvious. But why did SHE like him. He had barely spoken to her. Was it his personality? He was helpful, and full of laughs. He was kind to everypony, but.. there was something odd about him, this last day or so. He seemed to flick between his normal self... and a crazily grinning, twitching personality. That would only last a few seconds before going back to normal, but it was worrying the pegasus. Maybe the human had an illness that only humans could catch?
As for Pinkie, she was deep in thought as well. Many ponies thought she was stupid, because of her obsession with parties. This was not true. She just wished to make everypony happy. She was rather intelligent, in her quirky way. She was a little confused though. She liked Mark. She also LIKED Mark. It was only her second crush, the first being Dashie. Dash was cuuuute when embarrassed. Especially when arous- Never mind, back on topic. Pinkie peered over at Fluttershy. Her friend was a little down it seemed. Was she thinking of Dashie too. Wait, no, she can't read minds, silly! Maybe she was thinking of...Yes. She just glanced at Mark. Her friend was crushing on Mark. Rivals in love? Nononono! She couldn't hurt Fluttershy. Maybe there was a way to resolve this..
And Mark. Mark was having an argument about cheese with a voice in his head which called itself an Embodiment of Chaos.
James was walking towards the designated area, carrying a small basket of sweet pastries in one hand, and a basket of vegetarian sandwiches in the other. Rainbow was carrying a few bags stuffed with sweets, lazily flapping her wings, whilst Applejack was carrying a basket of her famous apples on her back.
And then a flying Mark-hugtackle from behind knocked him flying, the baskets being caught by Rarity's magic.
"God fucking dammit, Mark. What are you doing?" James said, laughing as he pushed his friend off. He grabbed the baskets back from Rarity, who also seemed to levitating a huge bag full of vegetable crisps. Pinkie was balancing a lot of fruit on her nose. A LOT. It was really rather comical. And Mark picked up one end of a big blanket, Fluttershy on the other end.
Mark looked at the gathering of Ponies, before lifting up one end of the blanket, and flinging it outwards, rolling it in midair, and then placing it on the floor. It was flat apart from a pony shaped lump with an afro.
"God damn it Pinkie.."
Our Daily Life Living With Ponies.
So, the five ponies, and two humans, after extracting Pinkie from the blanket of doom, were sitting around, munching on munchies. About half of the food was already gone, and they were all giggling and laughing with each other.
Until Pinkie suggested to play Truth or Dare.
God fucking dammit Pinkie. What have I told you?
"Sorry!" Pinkie said, looking a bit downtrodden, as the rest of the group looked at her, apart from James. She forgot that he could here the voice too. Shaking her head, she smiled again, reassuring her friends that everything was "A-Ok!" before turning back to the game. It was Applejack's turn to ask. "Fluttershy! Truth or Dare?" She said to the shy Pegasus mare, smiling slightly.
"O-oh.. Uhh.. Truth, if you don't mind that is.." Fluttershy murmured, tracing a circle into the floor with one hoof. She was nervous about what her friend was going to ask her, in truth.
"Do you have a crush on somepony, Flutters?"
The mare blinked, blushed, and then thought about the question. She didnt need to say who ..
"Y-yes..there is somepony I like...U-umm... James! Truth or Dare?"
"Me? Dare, I guess." James said, tilting his head to look at the yellow mare. He was laid down on the floor, Dash resting her head on his chest.
"Uhhm..If..you want.. Kiss the person you would most like to date! Ifitsokwithyouthatis."
James blinked, and looked at Fluttershy in slight shock. Where the hell had that come from? Anyway. He grabbed Dash, pulling her up, to meet his lips to hers for a few seconds, before slowly pulling away. "Happy? Tasted like Skittles...?"
Both Fluttershy, and Dashie exclaimed "YES!" at this point, a large blush on Dash's face, her eyes wide with wonder. She moved up slightly, resting her head right next to James'. He smiled slightly, resting his hand on her head softly, and stroking through her mane. "Mark, I choose you. Truth or Dare?" Mark held up two fingers, palm facing his friend. "Dare huh? Come here." Mark shuffled over to James, letting him whisper something into his ear. And then grinned.
"Pinkie, Fluttershy. One or Two? Pick one each." He said, chuckling. Both looking confused, Fluttershy said one, with Pinkie nodding in affirmance. Mark stood up, walking very slowly towards his two admirers. All eyes were on him. Kneeling down in front of Fluttershy, he lifted her chin, like he was going in for a kiss. Her eyes going wide..and then wider, when he tilted her head higher, to bite on her neck. Fluttershy blushed, then gasped, moaning softly, everypony's eyes going wide. Mark was biting and sucking on her neck, before pulling slightly on the skin of her neck, before letting go with his teeth, leaving a dark bruise. He smirked slightly, before noticing her reaction. Her eyes were glazed over, and she was breathing heavily, her hoof holding onto his shirt. To test his suspicion, he moved her over to the side, before poking his tongue out her. She fainted promptly, keeling over to the side, and showing a small wet patch on the blanket. She had climaxed. Again.
"Th-that was a bit far, don't you think, Ma...OH!" Pinkie had started to talk, looking incredibly depressed, before moaning loudly, as her neck was attacked by her crush. She was a lot more...vocal than Fluttershy, however. "Oh. Oh! Mmnn..~" Seems that biting a pony's neck did the same thing as a Human. Also known as very quickly getting aroused, as Pinkie was proving. She was almost pushing him to the floor in her lust, allowing him to bite down hard, until a very small rivulet of blood flowed down her neck. She raised a shaky hoof to her neck, before shuddering, and collapsing with a throaty moan. Her hind hooves twitched slightly, as she climaxed roughly, resting her head onto Mark's chest. "That. Was. Amazing!" She whispered, nuzzling into his neck, too tired to do much else.
"I didn't think you would do it. You're cleaning this up." James said, shaking his head.
"Yes mother. I think they liked it though."
Applejack and Rarity were staring at the two mares in front of them, with no small measure of disgust. But still, Applejack was working something out in her head. Pinkie was bleeding.. Was she hurt as well? She shook her head, gently poking Fluttershy to wake her up. And failing. She was out of it. Pinkie was calming down slowly, but smiling lightly, licking on Mark's neck slowly. Her hair wasn't as poofy as it was before, not as afro like. Feeling the blood trickle down her neck, she giggled excitedly, before looking at Fluttershy. And grinning slightly. Getting up, she moved towards Fluttershy, before biting down on her ear.
"Eeeep~" Flutters shot up, before scooting backwards, a giant blush on her face, until she hit Applejack. And then froze, keeling over, eyes open, twtiching, with Applejack looking down at her.
God damn it Pinkie!
"Ah think ya broke her, you two." Applejack deadpanned, looking at the frozen Fluttershy. Rarity simply nodded, still slightly shocked. As for Jamie and Rainbow? They had decided to ignore the others, and talk to themselves. Mark looked above the orange and white mares, then grinned slightly.
"Princess Celestia, and Princess Luna, I presume. Heya Twily. Celestia, truth or dare?"
Celestia seemed a little shocked by the scene before her, and was looking in particular at Pinkie and Fluttershy, whilst Luna just seemed angry. Very angry.
"WE HAVE NO TIME FOR YOUR GAMES. WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO THE ELEMENTS OF LAUGHTER AND HARMONY! " Luna shouted, knocking Mark onto his back with the sheer power of her Fus Ro Luna. Seriously, she was loud.
However, Celestia chuckled, and nodded, silencing Luna. Mark smiled, and looked at the Princess of the Sun.
"Kiss your sister."
Our Daily Life Living With Ponies.
Princess' are Class 5 Trolls.
Everyone, especially Luna, looked shocked at the human’s suggestion to the Princess of the Sun. Twilight seemed to be spluttering incoherently in shock, her mane and tail frizzing out, whilst AJ and Rarity just froze, eyes wide. Rarity’s left eye seemed to be twitching slightly. James’ expression changed from happily talking to Rainbow to an interested stare towards the two princess, and then over to Mark “Really dude? Sisters? Kissing?”, Then after thinking about this interesting thought, looked back to stare at the two sisters.
Celestia simply blinked once, then turned to Luna, stopping the younger sister from Fus Ro Luna-ing once more. The Princess of the Night looked back at her older sister, confused slightly at her calmness. “Uhh...Tia -mmph”
Yeah, she did it.
Mark shrugged slightly, looking over at James. “What can I say. Incest is Wincest.”
THAT seemed to snap Applejack out of her shock induced coma, and promptly hoof-punched him upside the head. “AH HAVE A SISTER, HAYBRAIN! DON’T SAY THEM THINGS!” She shouted, upset, and blushing slightly.
Rarity, however, simply fainted, twitching slightly. Mark and Pinkie laughed, not unkindly, and Mark looked back over to James. “Today is a day well done.”, James looked over to Pinkie Pie, then over to Fluttershy and then finally down to Rainbow Dash. He smiled and then said “Yes! Yes it is.”
Celestia cleared her throat, and then smiled down at the group. Two of which were unconscious. Well then.
At that, Mark snorted with laughter, and then concentrated, screwing up his face. Pinkie, and Twilight who had gotten out of her slight breakdown, looked at Mark in confusion. Shrugging with her wings, Celestia spoke again. “I am sure that you...humans are having fun here. Tell me, what have you been doing?”
Mark finally looked up, the spell complete, and chuckled. Celestia was looking confused, so it was working. And then he felt a presence in his own mind.
“You are a class 5 troll, Sunny. Having fun. Really?”
As the Sun Princess left his brain, Mark laughed out loud, before replying. “Uhh..I have been helping everypony around town. I helped Applebloom carry a basket of apples to SugarCube Corner this morning.” He laughed, shaking his head, revealing his mutilated eye. Luna blinked, then backpedalled, staring in disgusted interest at his eye.
“Wh-wha-”
“Timberwolves. THOSE BASTARDS.”
“Ouch...”
Celestia simply facehoofed, and interrupted again “Mark....you are an idiot. Why did you go into the forest by yourself? Anyway...You seem...friendly enough, and you all seem to be good friends...”
“Best Troll EU.”
“But..how shall I put this. Hurt any of my little ponies, and I will send you into the sun. Are we clear?”
Mark looked at James, and raised his eyebrow, before turning back, and bowing. “Yes Ma’am.”
“Serious?”
“Totally.”
Mark shook his head slightly, before pulling Pinkie in a soft hug. Fluttershy and Rarity had woken up by now, and Fluttershy looked depressed. Her head low to the ground, and she seemed to be sniffling...until Pinkie Pie grabbed her, and, giggling madly, pulled her into the snuggle as well.
“VERY good friends it seems, dear sister.” Luna said, still annoyed, but stifling a giggle now.
“Fuck you, Luna!”
Rainbow smiled slightly, nuzzling back into James neck, before looking back at the Princesses. “Yeah. We are getting to know each other well!”
Applejack facehooved, and sighed. “Yeah, they seem ta be honest enough about their intentions. They don’t have a place to live right now though. Mark is sleepin’ in mah barn fer now.”
“And I don’t mind staying there.”
“And James?”
“I got nowhere, your ladyship” he said bowing and spinning off an imaginary hat “I don’t give the slightest fuck where I live though.”
Fluttershy blinked, then spoke up. “I...I don’t mind letting James sleep at my house. I trust him.. I mean if that is ok with him..”
James looked over towards Fluttershy, his arm wrapped around Rainbow Dash. “Well from my conversation earlier with Rainbow here, it seems as if I can’t exactly stay on a cloud house, so sure! Why not? It’ll be nice getting to know you a bit more Fluttershy” he said, tilting his head onto Rainbow and smiling slightly, kissing the top of her head.
Flutters nodded shyly, before looking up at Mark. Pinkie blinked, her mane back to poofy form, and also looked at Mark. “I’m gonna stay in AJ’s barn. Don’t want these two fighting over me.” He poked his tongue out at his two admirers, who admittedly looked a little down, but smiled up at him.
“Okey-Dokey-Lokey!” Pinkie said, with Fluttershy nodding slowly, a bright blush on her face, before Pinkie forced Flutters to tackle Mark, and then jumping onto the pair. “PONY PILE ON MARK!”
“NONONONONONONO-OOF.”
“Fuck you Celestia.”
“I hate you PinkIIEE-”
And then silence. The order of carnage goes like this. Mark on the bottom, with Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie on him. Celestia next, followed by Twilight Sparkle and Rarity. On them, Applejack and Luna, with James sat crosslegged on Luna’s back, with Rainbow Dash sat on his head.
“I HATE YOU ALL!”
Our Daily Life Living With Ponies.
After Mark’s mind voice rage, everyone went cross eyed as a wave of headaches hit the group. Well, more severe migraines that headaches. And strange muscle spasms. After general cries of pain, it settled back down. And instead, a massive amount of energy was building underneath the pile. Rainbow blinked slowly, and then looked down at James.
“What is going on down there?” She asked, sounding worried. And then more worried as a high-pitched whine emanated from the centre of the pile, along with a strange black gas that seemed to have black lightning crackling around it. “That doesn’t sound go-”
And then a giant pulse of energy started to form, pushing away the Ponies, and James, from the semi-conscious Mark. It seemed that ponies are heavier than they look, seeing as he was breathing shallowly. As the pulse faded out, the rest of the gang stood up, and looked at Mark. He was slowly standing up, the odd gas billowing from random places on his back and arms, before fading away. At least they knew the form of his magic aura now...and that it was almost out of control.
Mark was groaning slightly, and they saw his slightly misshaped ribcage pop back into place. This was accompanied by no small amount of coughing, and once that had subsided, he spat out a bit of blood.
Before promptly collapsing.
James then went up to Mark, licked his finger and stuck it in his ear, “Yup he’s out cold!” Mark shivered slightly in his sleep, but no more could be seen, movement wise. “He would be the only survivor if a T Rex came through right now.” James laughed to himself, while all ponies just stood around staring at him blankly.
“Uhh. Yes. Maybe we should help him?” Twilight said, shaking her head
“Maybe, or... does anyone have a permanent marker?” James said, chuckling. At his words, Luna grinned evilly, before Celestia looked at them both, blinking a few times. And then giggled.
“FUCK YOU CELESTIA!”
James proceeded to draw, with the marker that Celestia summoned, a human penis shape on mark’s cheek and the words “GAY BOI” written across his forehead, “ALRIGHTY THEN! Lets get him to a hospital or something, I dunno, we can leave him in a ditch if you want”
Mark sent another wave of MindRape-age through everyone, telling them to go fuck themselves. He was seemingly conscious, just unable to move for the moment. And annoyed. “YOU CRUSHED MY RIBS, YOU BITCHES!”
Everyone, apart from Fluttershy, just looked at each other, and then spontaneously fell on the floor, laughing. Fluttershy however, nuzzled his cheek, blushing lightly. “Are you ok, Mark..?” She whispered, before snuggling into his paralyzed body.
“No” Mark mind-squeaked “You’re stood on my balls!” Blinking, Fluttershy wondered what the frack he meant, before looking at her right hind foot. And then scooting the hell back. And then wondering what frack meant.
“Oh my gosh I’m so sorry!” Fluttershy looked terrified, wondering what to do to make him feel better. Why was her mind being so dirty?! Not the time!
Everypony, and James, looked to Fluttershy, a bit confused about what she was talking about. “Uhhh, what you talking about?” Twilight asked.
See?
“Oh... uhhh... Mark said tha-”
“Umm, Fluttershy, Mark’s unconscious?” Twilight interrupted her, blinking. Usually it was Pinkie Pie who could hear voices. Speaking of Pinkie...
“CAN YOU HEAR THE VOICES TOO!?” Pinkie Pie shouted excitedly, before ranting on about “Space Ponies”, all the while bouncing up and down in front of Fluttershy. And then she stopped, her hair flattening down as she got a creepy grin upon her face. “We shall do it...for her...”
“Uhhh, as fun as it could be to do some more silly shit, like dress him up like a girl or something, we should probably wake him up...” James spoke up. “Anypony got any idea... Pinkie, I don’t think that will work, get off him!” Rarity and Twilight, along with the Princess’ turned around to look at Pinkie Pie bouncing on Marks stomach. Applejack and Rainbow were seemingly used to Pinkie’s shenanigans.
“I’m sorrrryyyy! I thought the pain might wake him up!” Pinkie said, getting a little depressed, before smiling mischievously, and lowering her head to his crotch.
“Or that, sugarcube...” Applejack deadpanned, the Princess of the Sun giggling behind a hoof, whilst Twilight’s eyes grew wide.
FUCKING WORDS.
“What? I’m not just a pretty face you know!” She cried, indignantly.
“That’s actually a good idea” James said, laughing at Mark’s soon-to-be misfortune.
“Fuck you James. I shall remember this.”
“Uhhh, do we have any buckets or bucket like device?” He queried, looking at the ponies. All the assembled ponies looked at each other, including the Princess’, just as if they’d all had the same idea. They all, apart from Fluttershy, who decided to stay with Mark, walked down to the lake that had started all of this. They had picnic-ed just around the hill, so this was fairly convenient - And not a plot device at all. The 5 ponies, Fluttershy not included, and the 2 Princess’, each got a mouth full of water, and then came back over to the two humans, and Flutters. “Ok! On three. ONE. TWO.”
“I despise you.”
“THREE!!”
At that, the assembled ~~marksmen all took shots at Mark’s unconscious body, killing him instantly.~~- ponies all blasted their water at Mark’s unconscious body, knocking him out of his magical backlashed state of mind.
“Fuck you all. Pinkie, give me a hug dammit..”
Our Daily Life Living With Ponies.
Wiping his face with one hand, Mark sighed, looking at James and the two Princess. “I hate you. With every fiber of my being. PINKIE. FLUTTERS. KILL ME. I DON’T WANT TO BE A PART OF THIS FUCKING STORY ANYMORE.”
With one of his fingers occupied with giving James the middle finger, the magical human picked up both Pinkie and Fluttershy, drawing them ~~like one of his french girls close to him~~, in a tight hug. Pinkie sighed, nuzzling his chest, whilst Fluttershy simply ~~Walked Into Mordor squeaked adorably~~, blushing. Sighing slightly, Applejack shook her head, before looking up at the Princess of the Sun, and clearing her throat. “Celestia, what are yeh gonna do ‘bout James an’ Mark?”
Luna answered, instead of her sister. “Well...we will monitor them, closely. Especially Mark. He has little control of his magical energy at the moment. He can do application, but not fine-tuning. He could be dangerous to the populace. James, as you said, was incredibly strong. Enough to cause craters. But he seems able to control WHEN he releases his Earth Magic, at least.”
AJ nodded, and then looked at Rainbow, who was sat atop James’ head, like a boss. “Ah think yah would break her heart if yeh sent him away. Been the first time she liked a guy, anyhow.”
James blinked, his ears picking up the words that Applejack spoke.
First time she liked a guy? To be honest I think it’s safe to assume its the first time I liked a pony....
Wait, wait, wait. She is/was a lesbian? Or never felt for anyone before? Wait. She LIKES ME! Waitwaitwait. I like a pony? Is this beastiality? Nah, she’s a person. In a different form. So...Xenophilia?
DOES ANY OF THIS MATTER, SHE FUCKING LIKES ME BACK.
James looked at AJ, blinking a few times. AJ looked back, her pupils dilating slightly. She knew that he had heard her. He knew that she knew that he had heard her. She knew he knew she knew. And he knew she knew he knew she knew. And So On.
James grinned, grabbing Rainbow Dash. Picking her up, off of his head, and putting her down to look at him. “I have an announcement! As all here present know, me and Fagotron Prime over there are trapped here in a strange world. We were attacked by the natives of this world, and then we recovered. Mark had it worse off than me, losing an eye and stuff. However, for the purposes of this argument...speech, thing, I don’t wish to be patient. So, without further delay, fuck whatever may pass as police as here, fuck the system, fuck you, and, by extension, RD, we should rut. I mean whut. I mean...” And with that, he kneeled down on both knees, pressing his lips to Rainbow’s. He stayed like that for a few seconds, Rainbow too shocked to respond, before he stood up, looking at the group, before spreading his arms wide, and simply saying. “And what?”
Mark chuckled slightly, doing the same pose, before laughing out loud. “FUCK YOUR FUCKING OF THE POLICE. Although, you make an excellent point, kind sir. If I may present a rebuttal? Go fuck yourself with a cactus.” And with that, he walked casually over to his friend, and hugged him, chuckling all the while.
“Oh, well then.” James said, hugging back. “Anyway..I never thought I would find love here..”
One group DAWWWW later, James laughed, nuzzling into Rainbow’s neck, before kissing it lightly. And then they went back into talking amongst themselves.
Celestia was smiling happily. It was good that one of her little ponies had found somepony, even if it was someone of a different race. Then she turned to Mark, observing him quietly. He had gone back to talking to Fluttershy and Pinkie. Fluttershy was sat on his legs, whilst Pinkie was standing against his back, her front limbs around his neck in a hug. The Element of Laughter was living up to her name, giggling away at something, whilst Flutters was content to simply nuzzle into her favourite human’s chest. Mark was rubbing his hand behind her ear, chuckling lightly as he did.
“Don’t they look cute, Tia?” Luna said, giggling slightly, as she also glanced to the trio. Celestia simply nodded, before turning to Twilight. “Me and Luna have to return to Canterlot, to perform our royal duties of lowering the sun, and conversely, raising the moon.”
“TOOO TTTHHHHEEEE MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!” Pinkie shouted, giggling slightly, before blanking out. “Uhh...what?” She looked completely baffled by what she had just said. Twilight and Celestia both glanced at Luna, but she hadn’t heard, or had chosen to ignore the bubbly pony.
Blinking, Mark simply kissed her nose, laughing, before tackling Fluttershy, and tickling her. Applejack was giggling at the antics, and RD and James were kissing...again. OMG COOTIES. “Surely somepony is thinking they need to get a room....amiright?” Pinkie and Luna said, at the exact same time.
“FUCK YOU BOTH!” James said, laughing. “Mark can have Pinkie, Luna gets....uh..Twilight, I guess?”
Both Twilight and Luna blushed darkly, babbling incoherently as they tried to make any semblance of sense of what James just said. Looking at each other for a few seconds, then turned away, blushing brighter now.
"Yeah, sounds about right." Celestia said, giggling away into her hoof.
Twilight immediately fainted.
Our Daily Life Living With Ponies.
Once Twilight had woken up, she found that the Princess’ were gone. Looking around, she saw the rest of her friends sitting a little ways away, not noticing that she had woken up. Then she noticed the giant apple tree behind them.
Getting up, she shook her head slightly. She hadn’t really liked the teasing about her and the Princess. She liked somepony, anyway... Sighing, she walked up behind Applejack, nuzzling into her side, giggling lightly.
“Oh, howdy there, sugarcube! Wonderin’ when y’were gonna wake up.” She said, in her southern drawl, chuckling as Twilight was noticed by the rest of the group, to various statements of welcome.
“Oh, hey Twilight! James decided to grow a tree. Cuz yeah. Fuck you and your logic.” Mark said, laughing. James and Rainbow Dash did a synchronized hang-upside down maneuver, waving at Twilight. They were only a few inches away from the violet mare, but Rainbow giggled as she nuzzled her friend, still upside down, and giggling all the while, whilst James did a peace sign, flipping himself out of the tree, to land beside Applejack and Twilight. And then grunting in pain. Seems like his injury wasn’t fully healed...
Rainbow noticed, and went down to nuzzle her colt...boy...somethingfriends side, looking up with concern. Oddly, it was Twilight who spoke up next. “A-are you alright, James? I could look up some spells for pain release, or..” She was cut off with a scarred hand to her lips. Looking up into the One-Eyed Aspect of MindFuckery, she saw a knowing glint in his eye, and a mischievous grin on his visage. She blinked, then shook her head, turning her head to look at the floor with a bright blush.
Rarity and AJ were talking together, by the side of Mark. Pinkie and Fluttershy were whispering to each other, before Pinkie decided to initiate a tongue wrestling session, causing the custard mare to blush profusely, before falling back on her haunches, her eyes wide, and her tongue lolling out slightly like a sleepy puppy.
Mark and Pinkie shared a glance, before Mark laughed. “Dammit, me and Pinks are gonna break her soon. I look forward to it.” As he said the last bit, his smile broke into a more manic grin, complete with eye twitch, before settling back into his regular lazy smile. Just to live up to the stereotype, he laid back, relaxing against the tree, drawing Pinkie and ‘Shy into a tight snuggle, kissing each of their cheeks. Rarity raised an eyebrow at this display of public affection, but these qualms were curbed by an Applejack Hug ©. The Copyright symbol was actually visible above her head, as Rarity’s ribs almost cracked from the bonecrushing hug, a squeal escaping her lips as her eyes rolled back slowly, a low groan escaping her lips.
As Applejack put her down, James and Mark noticed something at the same time. Her inner thighs were more a dark grey, than white, and her eyes were still rolled back. However, before they could even glance towards each other, Pinkie exclaimed loudly. “Ooh, Rarity, Thats so naughty! Out in public too....” Her voice got quieter at this, and was staring at Fluttershy with a grin.
Fluttershy simply noped the fuck out. Hiding behind Mark, she cowered, staring through his legs at the Pink Menace. “Excuse me, passengers, Fluttershy has boarded the GTFO train to Fuckthisville. If you would keep all hands and legs inside the vehicle?” He grinned, winking at Pinkie. Who was then stood between Mark’s legs, making out with Fluttershy once again, giggling as she did.
James pulled on Mark’s arm, laughing as he did. “God damnit, bro, you get all the fun.” That earnt him a hit from Dashiekins. “Oh! Later, I ain’t into people watching, unless it’s an orgy. Then its cool.” Dash looked like she was about to thump him, until she face - Jameschested, groaning until she started to go higher and higher. “HELIUM DASHIE. I WANT HAS.” The magical human said, laughing loudly, kissing his mare/girlfriend on the nose. “Dash best pony, no exceptions.”
Interrupted by a slight cough, he saw Mark motion to the pair of furiously kissing mares, before they decided to hide behind the tree, almost dragging Mark with them there and then, before he shook his foot free. Silently, he spread his arms in the classic “And what” pose, smirking slightly.
James casually added to the foray of now muffled Fluttermoans, her assertiveness training obviously not working. “Well then, everyone seems to be getting a bit excited, eh?” He shook his head, before simply front-flipping, and then rolling away, simply not giving a single fuck. Mark and Twilight shared a look, before following him, Rainbow lazily flapping above them. Rarity stayed behind, resting her head against the tree, lazily crossing her hind legs and taking care of “business”, as ~~AJ expanded her hat and killed everyone using the sawblade built into it,~~ casually strolled after them, shaking her head slightly muttering to herself “Ah think ah got a cream fer that.”
With James deciding to frontflip, and land on his back, Mark simply raised his hand, and ~~Charge up a spirit bomb, before going super saiyan and killing everypony~~ go into a cartwheel, landing to sit next to his friend. Applejack and Twilight sat near the two, Twilight admittedly next to James’ head, with Dash on top of her colt/boyfriend’s chest, kissing him lightly. “So, yeh fitting in nicely, James, Mark?” the orange pony said, smiling a little at her irony.
“Nope, sucks here, people are horrible.” That was James, trying not to laugh as ~~pinkie randomly threw toast at him~~, whilst Mark was looking back where they had come from, a slight tic in his eye, something that people/ponies were slowly coming to terms with, even if they knew it meant something probably twisted was forming in his brain. But it never came, the tic slowly leaving his eye, as he grinned at Twilight. “I love it here. We shouldn’t belong, but you girls took us in, Rainbow and James have fallen in love, I have two amazing girls, and best of all? Friends like nopony, or no-one, else. Even if I lost an eye, most of my arms and chest, and James almost got flattened into a dark red smear by his now girlfriend. And mine are rutting up there. And AJ’s marefriend is clopping furiously cuz AJ almost broke her ribs.” Shrugging, He laughed, before grinning furiously at Twilight.
Twilight knew what he was implying, but sighed slightly. “Yes, it has been an interesting few days, hasn’t it?..” Telekinetically, she spoke to Mark.
I am NOT telling James that I like his marefriend.
Aww, you suck, Twily...
Our Daily Life Living With Ponies.
Mark's Cutie Mark (heuheuehe)
“Tell him god dammit.” Mark said, grinning at Twilight. The purple mare was blinking back tears now, shaking her head in anguish. “God dammit, Twily, please?”
James looked at the exchange between the pair, sighing slightly. Then, a soft squeal was heard, as AJ pushed Twilight to look at James and Rainbow.
CONNFFUUUSSSEED DAMMIT.
“F-fine...Dash, I kinda like you..” Twilight said, blushing brightly, trying hard not to stumble over her own words.
Dash looked at James. James looked at Dash. They both looked at Twilight.
“THREESOMEFUCKYES!” James shouted, before looking at Dash, giggling nervously. Dash simply blinked, before grabbing Twilight’s mane, and pulling her into a kiss.
“Buck you James, you’re an idiot. Dammit, Egghead, why didn’t you tell me sooner! You’re adorkable.”
James looked left. And then right. “THREESOMEFUCKYES.” This earnt him a falcon pawnch to the gut from Rainbow, but he didn’t care too much, seeing as his mare/girl-friend was grinning from ear to ear. Looking into her eyes, he pulled her for a kiss, chuckling lightly as he did so, before hugging Twilight around the neck, laughing as he did. Applejack just looked at Mark, then chuckled. “Deviants, t’lot of ya.”
“Least we have fun being deviants, AJ. Least we have fun. And what about you and Rarity?” Mark said, laughing as he saw who was directly behind AJ.
“What about me, Mark?” Rarity said, grinning. AJ jumped furiously, looking behind her in shock.
“Rarity, where in t’hay did ya come from, sugar?” She said, breathing heavily. Meanwhile, Mark and James lost no time at all proclaiming at the same time,
“GENTLEMEN, MAN YOUR BATTLESTATIONS! UNKNOWN HOSTILE AT 6 O’CLOCK”
Rainbow just giggled away at their antics, whilst behind the tree, Pinkie could be seen poking her head out, confused, with a soaked muzzle. And then, a yellow hoof shot out, grabbed her mane, and forced her head back down again, followed by a loud, excited moan.
Facehooving, Rarity simply looked at Mark, her eyebrows raised. In response, Mark stood up, spreading his arms out wide, and stating. “Well, what is it?” Before falling to the floor again, laughing, whilst Rarity muttered something about ‘Breaking her innocence’.
“Rares, Mark didn’t break her innocence, he put it through a blender, showed it pictures of dead puppies, drowned it, raped it, THEN killed it.” Twilight and Rarity looked a little shocked at this, but before they could talk... “And then masturbated on it. Furiously.”
Rainbow punched Mark in the gut, for breaking her friend, and then James, just cuz why not. Tough love and all that. “Fuck you, Skittles!” James said, laughing, before drawing both her, and the wizard of the group, into a tight gangbang hug. And it wasn’t Mark. Thankfully, seeing as his hand were low on both of their flanks.
LOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWW.
“Skittles?” Applejack enquired, stifling a giggle behind one hoof, as Rainbow scowled at James, wondering what he meant. But also grinning. Damn, fingers were better than hooves, any day.
“It is a sweet, or candy for some parts of the world, where we come from, that is all different colours of the rainbow. Wonder if Dashie here tastes of Skittles?” James said, grinning.
“Not in public, James, we can do that later. Bet Egghead here tastes of tea, or something.”
Before either Twilight, or James could reply, Mark questioned proudly; “I wonder what magic tastes like....” and then, rather casually, pulled Twilight into a cradling hug and took a big long lick of her horn.
“Tha’s...impressive..” Applejack said, looking at the trail of liquid, still flowing from between the town Librarian’s legs.
“James...”
“Yes, Rainbow?”
“We NEED to do trickshots.”
Silence. Complete, fucking silence. Which was then punctuated by a scream from behind the tree.
“God dammit, Fluttershy.” James said, facepalming. “Also, how do you break EVERYPONY you touch?!”
“Talent. And a remarkable amount of luck” Mark said, proudly, grinning at his friend.
Rarity shook her head, giggling. “If you ever get a cutie mark, you would need to be censored permanently.”
Applejack laughed, and nodded. “Wonder wha’ it would like though?”
Mark and James shared a look, before grabbing a side of Twilights head, and letting it face the rest. One look at Twilight’s insane orgasm face, and everyone fell around laughing, and nodding. Mark then looked at James, and grinned. “Craters, Definitely craters.”
Mark felt, more than heard, Pinkie appear next to him, her wet muzzle resting lazily against his chest. Blinking slightly, he raised her muzzle, and licked on it slowly.
“Tastes of Brahmin milk, batteries, and happy thoughts” Mark said, happily. “I has a tasty girlfriend. Mare friend. Thing. Wonder what you taste of, Pinkie?”
“Probably cupcakes, hot sauce, cookie dough, and popcorn?” Dash said, grinning at Mark.
Mark just blinked at Rainbow, before nonchalantly poking inside Pinkie with one finger, before licking it. “No popcorn, rest was spot on, and a few gummy sweets. Seven out of Ten for taste, Nine out of Ten for thickness and texture.”
Pinkie had a dark red blush on her face, which was growing the more he talked, and she gasped, finally, when he drew her into a tight hug, sat on his lap. Twisting round, not caring for her friends being there, she pushed her lips to his, greedily, before saying. “You, me, rutting when we get back. Oki -doki-loki?”
Author's Note
Our Daily Life Living With Ponies.
Mark, James, and the rest of the gang were walking back to Ponyville, James carrying Twilight, who seemed to be in some kind of coma, Fluttershy carried by Mark, nuzzling deeply into his neck, her legs shaking too hard to walk.
“Mark, you truly have a talent for this. You just break anypony you touch.” Rarity said, giggling.
Mark simply started to swagger around, laughing. “I try, Rares, I try!” Before Fluttershy weakly patted him, trying to get him to stop. Pinkie just giggled, nuzzling into him when he walked past her. Blushing lightly, Mark reached down, and stroked her mane idly.
Giggling, Pinkie smiled up at Mark, before asking happily. “Maaaaark?”
“Yeah, Pinks?”
“I love you!”
Everyone froze, looking at the pair. James looked at Mark, before shrugging. “YOLO, amIrite?”
“Good reference. Am I goin’ cakeless? And I love ya too, Pinkie. And you, Fluttershy!”
Pinkie blinked, then started yammering about how cake was the best thing ever!
“Pinkie~! It was a reference to something from our world, don’t worry!” James said, laughing loudly, before Mark dashed to the side, causing everyone to blink. “Uhh, bro?”
“GOT MAH ROSES, I’M DONE!” Mark shouted, giving a nod to Roseluck, with a handful of roses. James looked at Mark, Mark looked at James.
“LLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEETTTTSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS PPPLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!”
Laughing, Mark handed the roses back over to Roseluck, before jogging back over, Flutters snuggling into his neck, before she gave him a rough bite on his neck.
“Ach!” Mark stumbled slightly, before righting himself, no-one else noticed. Her hind hooves were rubbing on the crotch of his jeans, pressing through the fabric, as she licked his neck slowly.
Rainbow Dash was nuzzling into James, cutely mewling as she did. “Damn, James, ya really made Dashie into a girl.” Applejack said, giggling along with Rarity, who had a huge shit eating grin on her face. Dash just huffed, poking her tongue out at them, before re-coupling with James’ hip, making an odd ‘clack’ sound.
(Intermission Start. Also, Brolaire is AeshaettrVGLP1)
Indeed we are Brolaire, indeed we are....
Rainbow Dash is best train, no exceptions.
I’d say she is, also I think we may have just made FlutterKink a thing.
Best thing. Just best. I wonder how many mares Mark can break in a day?
All of them maybe? I do believe we have yet to have him TRULY break the princesses.
I need to make a chapter for that then. And also that. Oh god, this is gonna be gud.
“Gud” thats an understatement of eternity right there.
DIS GUN B GUD. Also, Fluttershy horniest mare. Just saiyan.
I completely agree old chum, BUT may I counter that with a little Pinkamena action?
Please do. <3 Pinkamena best p0n3.
Then let it be said....FlutterKink x Pinkamena
It shall be done. Next story right there.
I look forward to it <3
Also. ONE MORE THING JACKIE.
Yes?
SAXTON...
Oh shit here we go....
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-
(This concludes the authors being dicks)) “Can anypony hear something?” Pinkie said, confused.
Everypony just shook their heads, apart from James. “Yeah, kinda. Sounds like...I don’t know..”
Applejack and Rarity just shook their heads, remembering James could hear the same things Pinkie could, before kissing quickly while nopony/body was looking. Twilight was starting to wake, making some noises. And then James felt something run down his back.
“GOD DAMN IT MARK. SHE JUST HAD A WET DREAM.”
“I try. I really do.” Mark said, grinning, before Fluttershy rubbed particularly hard on his crotch, grinning into his neck as she did.
“Mark you’re gonna have to clean this mess up, I swear” James shot back angrily. “Rarity just made this hoodie.”
(Intermission Start)
Dude If you carry on I swear by my pretty little bonnet I WILL end you, got it?
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALE
*gunshot rings out*
SENTRY SAPPIN MAH SPY!
Dammit.
(Intermission End) “Oh, it stopped!” Pinkie said, giggling slightly, as she nuzzled into Fluttershy’s hip. James nodded, before stopping, and moving Twilight off of his back, and letting her rest, belly down, on the floor.
“Whatcha doin, Sugarcube?” AJ said, before James brought his hand up.
“HASSAN CHOP!” He yelled, bringing his hand down in a karate chop, hitting Sporkle atop her horn. “DAMMIT DANTE,” He yelled, as Twily moaned elatedly, waking slowly.
“You called?” The Son of Sparda said, with a familiar purple mare by his side, as he walked down a side alley, and vanished.
Everyone blinked, looking at each other. Even KinkyShy stopped molesting Mark, before they all shrugged, and Flutter’s hoof went back to stroking Mark’s (rather sizable at this point) bulge. Pinkie had noticed, and was giggling slightly, before she bounded off down a side alley, saying she would catch up.
“Meh, whatever.” James said, chuckling in response to her outburst.
((Disclaimer. This bit may or may not be the first proper cloppy bit in the series. Although not as descriptive as it will be, by miles.))
Pinkie was down the side alley, resting her flank against the wall. She replayed the image of Mark getting molested by her friend, before her hoof slowly went between her back legs, rubbing slowly on her mound. Gasping slightly, she blushed, her hair straightening out slowly, as she grinned manically, her hoof parting her lips slowly. Giggling, she got to work, her tongue hanging out as she did.
She imagined something in her mind: Mark pinned below her, with Fluttershy pinned to the bed, with one of Pinkie’s “toys” in her. Pinkie was bouncing up and down on Mark, feeling his too-big-for-her length slam inside her, the pain exciting her more and more. So she got faster, and faster, Mark grasping, and biting whatever he could reach, his hands gripping her ass, to slam her down harder. Crying out with pain, her eyes rolled back in ecstasy, giggling slowly as she orgasmed, continuing to impale herself with her stallionfriend’s member, until she felt something HOT invade her insides. Grinning maniacally, she flopped back down onto him, kissing him violently.
Feeling her hoof grow damp, as her knees started to shake, she grinned, before trotting off to rejoin the group, sliding her hoof out from between her legs.
Pinkamena Diane Pie was trotting up behind the group, as Fluttershy and Mark broke off, waiting for her.
Oh, tonight was gonna be a good night...
Our Daily Life Living With Ponies.
I is a bad. ((Cloppy Chapter))
Pinkie bounced up to Mark, round to his front, and into his wide open arms, surprising him.
“SURPRISE MOTHAFUKA!”
See?
“OhaiPinki3!” Mark said, chuckling lightly, kissing her forehead.
“Ohai Mark” Pinkie yelped, before lapsing into giggles, then leaning over Mark’s shoulder, and kissing Kinkyshy on the lips.
Flutters kissed back, just as hard, almost making the trio collapse into ~~an orgy~~ a pile full of sexual ponyness.
Giggling, Pinkie detached herself from the pair, before sucking on Mark’s ~~penis~~ finger, pulling him towards SugarCube Corner. “Where ya taking us, Pinks?”
“To ~~my rape cave~~ my house! You two can stay with me, if you want. Besides, I already said I wanted to rut you tonight!” She said, with complete sincerity.
Suddenly a pebble came flying over the trees and hit pinkie on the head with a quiet yell “DON'T DO ANYTHING YOU SHOULDN'T PINKIE!” from a voice that could not be determined.
“HEY, VOICE, I DO WHAT I WANT!” Pinkie yelled, before blushing, and looking up at Mark and Sluttyshy.
Meanwhile James looked around where he was “Pinkie? Huh? What’s she doing!? Oh god she’s with Mark... I don't want to know”
Back at the terrible ~~threes0m3~~ (God damn you Homestuck, stop being in my story. GTDuckO.) trio, Pinkamena was pushing the others through her door, before listening intently. Not hearing anyone moving upstairs, she detached Flutters from Mark, with a sad moan from the broken mare. And then pinned her down.
“Dis Gun B Gud” Pinkie said, an insane giggle escaping her lips.
((Intermission! We’re now going to write about the rest of the gang bang))
SO. James!?(intermission end)
Jermes, Rainblow Crash, and Twily Sporkle were walking along, to the treebary of awesomeness. Applejack and Rarity had broken off, to go fuck to Rarity’s boutique. Probably to rut. Screw it! They did go rut! THIS IS MY STORY. I CAN DO WHAT I WANT. When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give AeshaettrVGLP1 lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down! -misquoted cave johnson-
Cave Johnson, we’re done here!
Anyway, back to the James, Twily, and Dashikins trio, they were having a water fight, in the sun, on a hot day, with ponies, and animals, and flowers, and the best described stuff ever.
Just kidding, Dash was pushing James and Twily through the door to the treebary, before pulling Twilight to the floor, sitting atop of her flanks, and then leaning down to kiss her, hard, moaning as she did.
Jame raised an eyebrow, before leaning over the pair, and pinning Twilight’s arms down, allowing Dash to have full rein of Twilight’s body.
Twilight was kicking with her back hooves rapidly, attempting to escape, as light moans escaped from her lips. She was slowing down, when.. *POMF*
Rainbow Dash’s wings had flipped upright, going rigid with a dark blush adorning her cheeks. This did have the side effect of sending James backwards. “Damn Wing-boners..” She said, before giggling slightly, looking behind her at James, who was facepalming as he lay against the wall. Dashie giggled, giving Twilight a quick kiss, before leading her over to James.
Setting her down, Rainbow took a hold of James’ jeans zip with her teeth, undoing it. After fiddling around, down his pants, and her wings getting even MORE stiff, she grabbed Twilight. “Research this, Egghead.” She giggled, pushing Twilight roughly onto James’ lap.
“MMMMPH...”
Pinkamena Diane Pie had sat Fluttershy on a chair, and Mark next to her, giggling all the while. Fluttershy had insisted that one of them had tied her to the chair, and when they did, using strings of sweet laces, she had started squirming violently, her tongue hanging out wildly. Mark had started to chuckle, amused by her antics, but stopped suddenly when Pinkie Pie plunged her hoof down his pants, rubbing violently on his member.
As she did, she turned back to Fluttershy, biting the inside of her thigh hard enough to draw blood. Feeling the warm fluid run down her chin, Pinkie giggled, her free hoof going down to spread her lips for the second time that night, pressing on her hard button with a kind of feverish insanity. Fluttershy was almost screaming at this point, but Mark took care of that, by taking off his shirt, and wrapping it around her mouth. Fluttershy started shaking again, moaning in ecstasy, her eyes rolling in their sockets in bliss.
Pinkie looked up at Fluttershy, before diving back in, tentatively licking on her custard yellow friend’s folds, before giving off an excited giggle, and biting down. The pained yell that came through the makeshift gag just caused the baker to be rougher, to both of her lovers. Mark let out a soft groan, and Pinkie Pie giggled into Kinkyshy’s sex, as she slid her hoof out of Mark’s pants and slowly rubbed it over her chest, leaving a wet trail.
Fluttershy’s eyes went wide, knowing what that liquid was, and blushed darkly as Pinkie stroked her hoof over Fluttershy’s folds. The baker was grinning insanely as she did, knowing full well what could happen. Of course, there was no way of knowing whether humans and ponies were compatible. Mark, however, had snuck up behind Pinkamena, and hugged her from behind, biting roughly on her neck, his left hand sliding down her stomach, to rest lightly between her legs.
Pinkie Pie giggled, before turning her head to give Mark a Flutter-flavoured kiss, before spinning her head back around, and licking feverishly on her friend’s clitoris. Fluttershy, in response, wrapped her hind-hooves around Pinkamena’s head, drawing her close, as Mark stroked on the pink mare’s lips, before plunging two fingers inside of her.
Pinkie stayed silent, too intent on pleasing her marefriend to really give much thought to the foreign objects inside of her. At least, not until they hit a very sensitive spot inside of her, making her eye roll back in sheer pleasure, letting out a throaty moan into Fluttershy’s sex, an act which made Fluttershy go completely silent for a few seconds, before a soft, long moan escaped her lips, drenching Pinkie’s muzzle.
Pinkie detached herself from Sluttyshy’s hips, leaning up to pull the gag off with her teeth, and kissing her, hard. Grinning behind her, she whispered to Mark.
“Buck us. Buck us HARD!” She giggled, spreading herself open for the human.
Author's Note
Yeah. This was awkward writing this in Google Drive. XD
Our Daily Life Living With Ponies.
The Next Day:
Pinkie, Mark, And Fluttershy woke up, on the roof of Sugar Cube corner, for some bizarre reason. Looking at each other, they all giggled, until Fluttershy clutched her neck in slight pain. Mark leaned over, lifting her hair, then whistled slowly.
On her neck were a row of large bites, turning into bruises. Some of them had leaked blood, and were scabbing over. “Damn Pinks, you have a mean mouth...” Mark said, looking over his shoulder at the semi-insane mare.
“But, I say nice things, so I don’t have a mean mouth!” Pinkie said, glowering at him. Mark simply pointed to Fluttershy’s neck, watching as Pinkie did a comical O with her mouth.
“Oopsies...” She said, before kissing Mark, then Fluttershy, slightly wincing as she did. “You’re so rough..”
Flutters looked down at her hooves, to be reminded instantly of another feature of last night. Around her hooves were violent rope burns, all four of them. She then was acutely aware of the burning sensation at the corners of her mouth, where the gag made out of candy ropes was tied. At least it was tasty whilst being sexually tortured by Pinkie and Mark. She tried to sit down, but then jumped back up, yelping. “H-hurts to sit down..”
Mark and Pinkie just fell back, laughing.
=======
James, Dash, and Twilight had ALSO woken up, at the same time. Dash looked over to Twilight, about to say something, then stared at her in blushing embarrassment. Twilight simply looked back at her, then down. Some kind of fluid was flowing out of her.
Twilight looked down in confusion, then up at James. Her brain almost audibly clicked, then a slight woosh of steam was heard. Almost immediately, her face went dark red, and her brain seemingly noped the flying fuck out, as she fainted.
“Well then, that was predictable.” James said, a slightly bemused smile on his chops.
“Eeyup.” Dashikins said, before stifling a giggle with a slightly sticky hoof. Looking at said hoof, her eyes went wide, before she giggled even harder, sucking on said-said hoof. James facepalmed, before looking at said-said-said hoof. And then facepalmed again.
“Tasty?” He asked sarcastically, then looked back at her, to see she was nonchalantly masturbating.
“God damnit Dasher. You had one job.”
“I aim to please. Myself, this time.” She snickered, before releasing herself, and leaning up to kiss the human, softly. “But...I been thinkin’. Dontcha miss home?”
James’ eyes opened wide, before looking down at the ground, a subtle nod, as a quiet sniff was heard. “Yeah. I do. But... I can’t let that get me down now, can I? We don’t know how to get back. And..I doubt, if we could, if I can take you and Twily back with me...”
Dash blinked slowly, before a slow tear laced its way down her cheek. “You...you would want to take us back? To..live with you? If you could?”
James simply nodded once, a strange glint in his eye. “You ain’t some one night stand, Rainbow. I like you, and...I wanna be with you, and Twily. It hurts, not being with my friends back on Earth. It really does. But...they’re not you.”
Dash simply smiled, whilst James looked away, thinking.
May as well make her happy. I...do want to stay here. But...I hope no-one asks Mark this. He could become more unstable. And...we don’t belong here. We aren’t of this world.
=======
Back on the roof of the bakery, Flutterslut was still having trouble moving, so she had simply given up. Still didn’t explain why her flanks hurt THAT much.
And then it hit her.
No, really, Mark’s morning wood had acted as an impromptu battering ram when he turned, cockslapping the shit out of Fluttershy. She had forgot that with him being almost twice his height, Everything was twice as big as normal. Especially that. Which had violat-
For the second time in 10 minutes, someponies brain noped the fuck out.
“Oops.” Mark said, before stifling a laugh. Pinkie just facehooved, before resting her head on Mark’s shoulders.
“Hey, d’ya miss home?”
Mark simply froze, looking out into nothingness, before switching back on. He nodded slowly, then a sad smile reached his lips. “Yeah, I do. I miss it more and more each day. But...we don’t know if we can get back now. I can’t remember the thing we did to get here. I love you, Pinks. And Flutters there. But...I don’t know what to do. If we can get back, to stay here with you, or to go back. It hurts...” He murmured, Pinkie’s hair deflating slightly as he grasped the side of his head, a large, toothy grin spreading across his face, before disappearing.
He sighed slightly, before standing up, and walking over to the edge of the roof, looking down at Ponyville.
“Hey, Pinkie?”
Pinkie looked at him, worried. “Yeah, cupcake?”
Mark turned, as cyan, rapidly turning to black lightning bolts cracked around him. A manic grin appeared on his face, and showed no sign of stopping, as his remaining eye closed, his hands twitching rapidly. “I’m hungry.”
Our Daily Life Living With Ponies.
James, Rainbow Dash, and Pinkie Pie blinked, before turning round, facing the wall of the tree. Pinkie's eyes had shrunk to pinpricks, even as she yelped in pain.
"P-pinchy knee..." She whispered, backing away from the wall of the Treebary. Dash blinked, before swearing, and dragging James away...and then the wall started distorting, and breaking into pieces. Through the gap, Mark stepped. His eyes were black, with small discharges of electricity sparking from where his pupils would be. His mouth had split, showing his cheek muscles in a grotesque Chesire Grin, and his teeth had sharpened into points. The fingers on his left hand had elongated into claws. His right hand seemed to have ignited, black flames dancing around his fingers. He was silent, though, just looking at the three before him.
It was James who broke the silence. "Mark, bro? Whats wrong..?" He asked warily, then stopped as his friend snapped his head around to lock eyes. At once, James felt a searing pain in his head, his hands going up to grasp his skull, and let out an anguished moan.
Good day.
Our Daily Life Living With Ponies.
Mark reached out to Pinkie, his hand crackling with energy, slowly, slowly.
And then Pinkie hammerspaced away.
"M-Mark...whats wrong..?" She asked, tears in her eyes, before she blinked. And then he was gone.
Great, now we have a weeping Mark to deal with.
"Umm...what, Voice?" Teh Pink one asked nervously, looking around in case the mad one came back.
Nothing, nothing. We need to go get James.
And with that, Pinkie and the ~~Brain~~ Voice skipped away. What they didn't notice was the tall figure on top of Sugar Cube Corner roof, the mad grin on his face getting encompassed by the darkness that was trying to take over his skin.
James was happy. Very happy. He had a Dash to his left, a coke to his right, and not a care to the world.
Time to put that right.
Pinkie came flying through the door, in a panic. Her hair was straight, and she was sobbing uncontrollably, her eyes bloodshot. Dash gasped, and rushed over to Pinkie, holding her close and nuzzling her.
"T-there's something wrong with Mark....I'm scared..."
And then they heard a dark voice whisper: "Peekaboo..."
Author's Note
Did ya miss me? ;3
Our Daily Life Living With Ponies.
KABBBOOOOOOM. And even more magic.
Chapter 9
KABOOOOM. And even more magic.
After the dust, dirt, and clods of earth stopped flying around, the rest of the group slowly got up. Battered by the explosion, Mark shook his head, rapidly, blinking the pain back of being slammed into a tree. And failing.
"FUUUUUUUCCKKK THAT HURT." He hobbled over to the crater, before looking down into it. Holy shit this thing was huge. There was smoke rising from the centre of the crater, which was extinguished from the water flooding in. At the bottom of the crater, James was slowly standing up, his new hoodie torn to shreds. He was panting hard, but he slowly walked towards Mark, slamming his fists into the walls of the crater to climb up. As he reached the top, he blinked once, before looking at Mark. He looked pissed. Very pissed.
"WHERE. THE FUCK. IS TWILIGHT."
Mark blinked once, before spinning around, spotting Twilight getting up slowly. She had a large bruise on her side, along with one on her head, and she looked dazed. She then shook her head rapidly, before standing up, and looking at the two humans. James strode over, anger written on his face. "WHAT WAS THAT?!"
Twilight backed away slowly, before a cyan blur knocked James sideways, landing on his back with a familiar face on top of him.
"Umm...you seem to be absorbing... a lot more magic than a pony ever could. I doubt even the princesses have that much magic in them. I wonder if it is because you can't regulate your magic reserves yet. And your bodies are bigger, so bigger reserves of magic...?" Twilight said, pondering on the implications of the explosion. "Mark, got anything?" She said as she looked over towards Pinkie and Mark.
Mark shrugged, before breathing in heavily, pushing Pinkie off. He then blew outwards, hard, clicking his fingers as he did. A giant bout of flame flew out of his mouth, spiraling upwards before petering out slowly. And then it stopped. " THAT WAS FUCKING AWESOME!"
"What. Just happened."
"As I said. Bigger magic reserves. A lot bigger. And you are constantly absorbing magic...We should get back to town.. And Mark, no more firebreath, Please."
"Yes Mother."
Our Daily Life Living With Ponies.
The being that was inhabiting Mark yawned idly, his arms swinging side to side. He had ceased mental communications, and was simply looking around the library. Even through the Chesire Grin he bore, it was clear the monster was smiling. And then he spoke, using his voice this time. “So, you can call me...Chi, I suppose. That is what I have been known as for a very, very long time.” A soft grin, before the monster raised his clawed hand. “And up we go.”
As he rose his hand, things around the tree-bary started floating. Little things at first, a book here, a quill there. Then the table, chairs, a sleeping Spike, all starting to raise high into the air. A soft laugh escaped the male, before everything just stopped in mid air. Dashie and Pinkie gave a soft gasp, the cotton-candy mare’s hair flattening down further and skittering slowly backwards against the wall, staring at the monster with wide eyes.
“Still. You...Ponies? Have a lot of power. Dangerous. I like it.” Chi murmured, before closing his hand. At once, everything that was floating ignited, including the fire resistant Spike. James covered the two ponies with his body, taking a shot of fire to his left side from a falling book. In anger, he drew his arm back, and lashed out. An instant later, the fire went out, and the objects fell, as Chi flew backwards, a shockwave of air driving him into the wall. “Don’t you DARE. Hurt these girls!”
“Hmmn. A human with bite, and one that doesn’t immediately hate something that it doesn’t recognize. Interessant.” The monster murmured, extracting himself from the wall, before yawning idly. “Ya-know, I used to be human, once. A long, long time ago. Well, it might be a short while for you, or might not have happened yet. Dimensional time-travel etcetera etcetera. And this isn’t even the real me.” The being blinked, before shaking his head rapidly. “Wait, now I’m getting confused.”
James shook his head, and slowly stood, raising one, smoking fist, before jabbing into the air, his arms blurring from the extreme speed. A sizable hole appeared in the library wall, the monster being fired outwards into the walkway beyond. “You two. Stay here, I don’t want you hurt. And Mark doesn’t either..” And with that, he slowly walked out, facing the creature that was inhabiting his best friend