Chapters Author's Note
Yes I know it's not original but it's mine and I've been putting up with shit from this stupid story for years so I might as well rewrite it.
Journal Entry #1
Why do most stories always have a prologue? Sometimes, you just don't know what the series of events to kickstart a story even is. I sure as fuck didn't, my name is Michael Young but my close friends always called me Mickey, I don't know why that would be an acceptable nickname, people always make fucking disney jokes. Oh, hi Mickey Mouse how are you today? Shit like that, I used to always say that my nickname was based off Mickey Mantle, the famous baseball player except I know jack shit about baseball and can't throw a curveball to save my fucking life. Now I'm kinda glad I'm in Equestria since My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is owned by Hasbro I won't hear any hide nor hair of the mouse. I will miss marvel movies though, also yeah I know I'm basically in a cartoon. I say basically because I don't think that the show about ponies had huge tits in them. I wound up in some whack-job alternate universe of the show. I live in the everfree forest, I have a cabin I built myself and this is basically a journal of all the things I experience here.
Twilight said it would be good for me to keep a journal, help me keep up some routine to keep me grounded in some type of reality. I fucking hate this, at least I showed her what the marvels of a pencil was, that was one of the first things I did. She was shocked that you could erase something you had written before, although I'm pretty sure I've seen pencils around here before. She's just a huge child sometimes, I think I'm getting ahead of myself here. I'm a caucasian male I'm very well built after all the Marine Corps. wouldn't let someone ship out unless they were combat ready, I'm 5'11 and weigh 232 lbs. I have straight brown hair that curls when it gets long enough, why did I write that down? Whatever, it's useless filler anyways.
So now is the point where I tell about how I got to equestria or this version of it anyways. Here's the thing, I don't know how I got here. No one does, even Discord, the god of chaos says that my presence here is a complete mystery. Fine, if I'm gonna be in a different world. Okay then, doesn't change anything about me. Not really, although I can't really receive any benefits from being in the military. I was a Corporal, didn't have much in the line of responsibilities but I made the best of what I had. Like I always do, anyways Princess Celestia proposed something to me. It's apparent that the male population is at an all time low, and they want me to help. I consented to having them run a few tests but that was the extent of that, they also gave me a few injections for what they said will help me with the presence of magic, bottom line is I don't need horse women lining up at my door every day asking to bang, if I need any sexual release I'll go knock on the door of Zecora, she has birth control potions. I found all of this out later when she caught me staring at my overly abundant junk which I knew wasn't like that a few weeks ago.
I have some resentment for Princess Celestia now, she lied to me about those shots. Help me with the presence of magic my left asscheek. She wanted me to bang as many of her oh so precious ponies as possible and I don't like being lied to. Then again why should have I expected anything less, she's a master chess player and I'm a wildcard that was thrown onto her game of roulette.
She wants to use me, maybe that's one of the reasons I chose to live in the everfree forest no one goes in there unless they need to, with Zecora and I being the exceptions. That or it's the closest thing to home I'll ever get back to, the weather is crazier than Jim Carrey meeting Gary Busey and that's just fine. I built the cabin myself over the span of 2 years and then had Twilight enchant it to make sure that Luna would never be able to enter my dreams when she asked me why I told her that there are some things that ponies are never meant to see, and some things never meant to be resolved until I'm much older and wiser.
I have dreams about Iraq and Afghanistan, things that haunt me until the day they put me into the ground. I'll talk about that later, now's not the time. I work for Applejack and Mac, I don't call him Big Mac because it would just remind me of a cheeseburger, they put me to work with manual labor and things like that. It gives me a decent income to live off of, I told the six girls about my dietary needs and that while I will be able to eat most of the things they eat, minus the flowers of course that I will need a constant supply of meat. Fluttershy understood, after all she has a bear for a pet. I wanted to put him in a tiny red shirt and give him a jar with the word 'hunny' on it but she wouldn't let me.
So that's basically it, my existence in equestria in a nutshell, but I have this feeling that thing are going to get a lot more complicated as I continue to write this. I was put here for some unknown reason and I'm going to find out what, hell it may kill me. But if I find out why I was here at least I'll get some closure. That's all I really want closure on something. So as I sit here writing this stupid thing I've got to wonder. Why?
Journal Entry #2 (Edited)
My morning routine, like most starts with coffee. Coffee is very essential to a morning routine, it kickstarts the system. Coffee usually takes a few minutes to kick in for me, it's fine though, if you're wondering what kind of technology I've brought with me to Equestria I'm just going to say this. Very little I currently have a dead cellphone, a dead iPod, my wallet with 7 bucks in it, a debit card I can't use, a flask, and a M1911 pistol with a full magazine inside it and spare under my bed. Yeah I have a gun, do I need to use it? Not really, I usually label things like that under not my fucking problem . I had a few knick-knacks here and there in my jacket. My jacket is a brown leather one that's sherpa lined, keeps me real warm when it gets colder. I was busy making furniture today, jack of all trades I am!
Actually, it's more like I can't keep still for more than a few minutes at a time unless I have my focus on one specific thing and then I can get that finished in a few hours. Mac is a good woodworker and it's something to talk about outside of work. I was busy working on the leg of a chair when I heard a certain springy step and a tomboyish voice talking.
"I'm telling you it's not going to work Pinkie." That was obviously Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie.
"Oh don't be such a stick in the mud Dashie, you never know unless we try." Pinkie said to her cyan friend. In case you were wondering how tall they were compared to me, I'm about as tall as a young child, they're all amazons that have to look down at me. They all average around 7 feet tall, except for alicorns. Celestia is about 9'5. Cliche it may be, after all they're beautiful horse women that want nothing but sex from you. However, that may be what THEY want, but it is something I don’t want. I want a genuine connection with someone I love, but you could be a hero with 24/7 pussy! I'd probably get bored after the first few weeks. Also, I don't want to be a hero because of my twig and berries. I'm not that conceited.
"Try what?" I asked in my deep voice, to me it sounded a bit higher pitched. I wonder why that is, I'll ask Twibrite later. Yes I do mean Twilight, she just gets flustered when I refer to her by other names and it's adorable.
Pinkie and Rainbow looked at me, then Rainbow flew up to me. "How did you hear us from so far away?" She demanded.
"You were the only two people speaking in the forest. Why I didn't hear you sooner is a complete mystery." I commented. "What are you doing here?"
"I'm just here with Pinkie, she wanted to ask you something." Rainbow pointed to the pink confectioner.
I then looked at the pink party pony with the peculiar presence on my property. "Is something upsetting you Pinkie?"
"I was wondering, if you would come to my party for the-" The pink pony prattled.
"Nope." I cut her off.
"Aww, why not?" Pinkie asked.
"Because ponies, stare, poke, and prod. Plus, they think I'm an animal until I actually open my mouth. Then they're so shocked, and the thing is, it's the same ponies all the time, they have less of an attention span than you yourself and I don't think they actually commit me to any long term memory. Including, whenever Diamond Tiara is there she always tries to buy me."
"Oh, really?" Rainbow asked.
"Yep." I said popping the p. "It got real old too fast."
"Jeez, sorry." Rainbow apologized. I know she did nothing wrong but apologizing for the situation never hurts.
"Well it would help if they also didn't think I was a child, when physically, and emotionally, as old as your average adult." I sat on the bench on my front porch.
"Come on! I came all the way out to your spooky house to invite you." Pinkie said. "Don't make me beg!"
"My house is spooky?" I leaned forward from my seat to stare at the cabin I built with my own hands.
"It's dusty and there's spiderwebs in the windows." Rainbow shrugged.
"Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please." Pinkie got on her knees. "Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please."
"Okay FINE. Just stop saying please." I lamented.
"YAY!" Pinkie jumped up back to her hooves and hugged me tight. Practically suffocating me with her 36GGG breasts.
"Pinkie I think you're suffocating him." Rainbow Dash calmly pointed out, Pinkie stopped with the bear hug.
"Please don't do that again." I spoke after breathing in and out a few times.
"Sorry, Mickey." She smiled with that squee thing that they do when they're trying to act innocent or apologize. I don't know how they do that, in fact how do I hear it? I might just be going insane from being in the woods for too long.
"So is there anyone that I need to be worried about? Royalty or otherwise?" I asked. "Also do I need to dress fancy?"
Pinkie giggled. "Oh Mickey, you know I don't do those fancy shmancy canterloinian parties."
"Oh, right your parties are rated E for everyone." I sighed.
"Well until 11:00 then the foals go to sleep and we break out the hard cider." Rainbow mentioned. "But, you're usually gone by then, if you even show up at all."
"I have to work, if I'm not at the orchard then I'm doing a personal project." I said as my mind drifted off to something I have behind my house. I shook my head and looked back the duo on my porch.
"I swear you're the only pony-" Rainbow started.
"Person." I corrected.
"Person , that does more work than Applejack. Do you take ANY time off?" Rainbow asked as she got closer to my face.
"Yeah you just don't see me take time off." I said as I sat back down and grabbed some tools. "I need to finish this order. What time is the party?"
"It's at 7pm." Pinkie held out an invite that was just as pink as the mare herself.
"Put it in the mailbox." I nodded over to the old beaten metal mailbox.
"Jeez, how did it get like that?" Rainbow asked.
"The mailmare." I answered her inquiry.
"Oh, you mean Derpy?" Rainbow asked once more.
"Her name is Muffins, calling her that is just insulting." I took a mug of coffee that was resting next to the chair I was making and drank out of it. "Ew." I pour the coffee out onto the ground. "It's cold."
"I have a question just before we leave." Rainbow said.
"You always have questions about me." I pointed out.
"Point taken." She conceded. "You have coffee, which means you have water. My question is, where did you get the water?"
"There's a river about, say 250 feet that way." I pointed east. "I just put a pipe that flows in the same direction of the river to acquire water, there's also a machine inside the pipe that I had built that turns a tube in a circle fast enough that it creates a vortex allowing me to draw in water, I run the water through a filtration system in my house and there you go, clean drinkable water."
"What if an animal gets stuck in the pipe?" Pinkie asked.
"It's about as big around as a bit. Not many animals get stuck, but if they do I have a reserve tank of water around the back of my house." I answered her. "Now go, I'm sure I've wasted enough of your time already. You need to go prepare for your party or whatever, and I need to finish this up." I pointed at the chair.
"Alright, Grumpy we'll go." Pinkie said as she put the invitation in the mailbox. "But you better be on your best behavior at the party, and no swearing."
"Can I drink?" I asked.
"Just don't get drunk." Pinkie narrowed her eyes. If there's one thing about Pinkie other than loving parties is that she's very serious about them. I've got to respect that.
"Alright I won't. I promise." I said and Pinkie smiled.
"Okay then, come on Dashie we got more invites to hand out!" Pinkie said as skipped off.
"Bye Dashie!" I said as she flew over Pinkie's shoulder. When she heard that she just turned around and flipped me off. I chuckled and got back to working on the chair. There's still something bothering me about that encounter though. Why did they come all the way out here for just an invitation? You know what, I'm being a little too paranoid. It's probably just nothing.
Author's Note
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I already know people mostly call her Derpy but her official name is Muffins so that's what I'm going with.
Journal Entry #3 (Edited)
When I go into town there's usually a specific reason why. Either food, clothing, or just something keep me busy. But, the majority of it is that it's food and clothing. Which brings me to the town seamstress Rarity. Rarity and I don't hate each other per se, it's just we have trouble understanding the other's way of life or how we choose to live our lives. I, myself don't see the appeal of the high society. You have to act like a dickbag in order to get ahead in life, Earth is already filled with enough assholes that are influential, we don't need more. To me, everyone's an asshole about one thing or another. It doesn't matter, leaders however are the biggest assholes. I already hate Celestia but that's an unpopular opinion that could get my ass lynched in some places so, I just keep that tidbit to myself.
I'm getting off track here, I was talking about Rarity and I. We are very well working acquaintances, we could be friends, but friends imply that they would know something about me that I'm not willing to give out so easily. Anyways after I finished the chair I was working on and delivered it to the customer in town I ran into Rarity. Almost literally, sometimes she doesn't see beyond that rack of hers, luckily I did and not wanting to experience being smushed into a pony's funbags again I stopped and caught her attention with a simple. "Hey, Rarity."
The pristine white unicorn with a curly purple mane and tail stopped and looked down at me. "Oh hello, Michael how are you this fine afternoon?"
"I'm fine, just delivering an order, about to head back home and change clothes for Pinkie's party." I said.
"Oh, you're coming?" Rarity asked with her baby blue eyes staring into my hazel eyes. "That's surprising."
"Yeah, she and Dash came to my house. Pinkie begged for me to come, so I acquiesced and complied." I replied.
"Oh?" Rarity said. "This may be worthwhile. You rarely come out of the woods for anything that you don't need. May I-"
"I'm going to stop you right there and say no. I'm not going to need a suit for any reason, it's not a high society function like in Canterlot, it's just a party. Shower, deodorant, clean clothes, and show up." I held up my hand, interrupting her train of thought.
"I'm going to get you in my boutique one day, Michael." Rarity huffed.
"Technically you already have, also I've told you how many times to call me Mickey?"
"436, but who's counting?" Rarity said.
"You obviously, speaking of your boutique. Why aren't you in there already? I thought you had a fall line-up coming or whatever?"
"Well, I need more rubies from the fields and was heading towards Sweet Apple Acres to see if Big Macintosh could help me with the dirty work. I would compensate him for his work of course." She said.
"What about Spike?" I asked.
"Up in Canterlot for the weekend, trade deals between The Dragon Lands and Equestria. He's acting as a mediator, close friends with Dragon Lord Ember and all that." She huffed.
"When are you going to admit that you like the guy? He's been chasing you for how many years now?" I asked her.
"6..." Rarity sighed. "I...I just...I don't know how to go about it. He's so adorable, he's a child but he's not."
What Rarity is talking about is the moral dilemma of Spike being a baby dragon, here's the thing he's only a baby in DRAGON terms. From the point of view from the ponies, he's more than the age of consent. Hell, he's even old enough to drink, he just doesn't because he hates the taste. Rarity obviously loves the guy but there's the whole baby dragon thing. It's really fucked up when you stop to think about it.
"Alright, you said that you wanted to get more rubies for your dresses? I can help, I got nothing better to do."
"Oh I don't want to take up too much of your time." Rarity said.
"It's fine, I got...what time is it?" I looked at my nonexistent watch.
"It's almost...oh dear 5 o'clock. I suppose that the rubies will have to wait until tomorrow. You go on and get home, I have to help Pinkie with the party."
"Why is there something special about this party that I don't know about?" I asked.
"I don't think I'm allowed to say." Rarity said.
Okay, maybe my paranoia wasn't so misplaced. I'm going to bring more than just a flask with me that's for fucking sure. I don't think bringing my gun would help either, I have a few custom made knives on hand. I think I should bring one just in case, I have a feeling something is going on here. "Alright then, I'll go home and get showered." I said as began to depart.
"Chao Darling." Rarity said as I left.
Rarity was acting strange, and she doesn't usually act strange she acts...I want to say uppity but I'd hate to insult her. I was thinking about what could be making the girls act so strange. First Pinkie and Rainbow Dash show up at my place, not unheard of but certainly out of the ordinary and then there was the end of that conversation with Rarity, she wasn't allowed to say? It could be nothing, but I don't want to take any chances. There wasn't a lot that I brought over from my world. Only what I had on me, it wasn't much but I worked until I got what else I needed. I was putting on my brown leather jacket and going through my pockets when I noticed that I still had my zippo lighter, it was a green lighter with a golden four leaf clover in the lower right hand corner. I smiled as I put lucky back in my pocket.
I walked up the path I had made up to Ponyville, I opened the invitation and looked at the address and it was at town hall, okay makes sense. Thing is what people don't realize is that Pinkie has a LOT of influence in Ponyville. She's THE premier party pony of Ponyville, even political parties. To her, it doesn't matter how long it takes as long as there's cake at the end of the of the party and everyone is happy then she's happy. Hell, she throws parties for the losing political parties just to make them feel better. She's a lot smarter than people think. I sighed and checked to see if my KA-BAR was still tucked under my pants waistband. I looked around and all the light were off, I could hear hushed voices inside.
I calmed down and started to whisper to myself, "Okay marine, they're not out to get you, they're civvies. Intent to disarm and debilitate." I slowly wrapped my hand around the door handle and slowly opened the door.
The lights suddenly came on and there was a shout of "SURPRISE!!!"
My hand went to my KA-BAR. But I stopped myself. No. Stand down Marine! There was a little voice that stopped me, it was my DI. I calmed down and looked up to see a banner saying Happy Anniversary Mickey. Anniversary?
Pinkie skipped up and put an arm on my shoulder and leaned in to whispered into my ear. "It's okay. I won't disarm you but I need you to calm down do you understand?"
"Yes ma'am." I complied and she wrapped her arms around my right arm then she held my hand to calm down the shaking.
"Welcome to your anniversary party, today marks the day of your anniversary since you've come to Equestria. Three years ago." Pinkie said, she rubbed my back.
"Thank you."
"I'm sorry for giving you a reason to be scared. " Pinkie whispered. "I need you to calm down, for me. Please? "
"I'm fine Pinkie, you know what I said about surprise parties. Pop out and put my knife in my nightstand. " I whispered back. Pinkie led me to a chair and put a party hat on my head. She grabbed my knife and popped out.
"I'll be back. Enjoy the party everyone!" Pinkie said as she went to the restroom to pop out to my house.
Twilight, Rarity, Rainbow, Applejack, Fluttershy all approached me as the party started. Applejack was taller than the rest with the exception of Twilight at almost 8 feet tall. Nearly makes me look like a kid, but she squatted down putting a hand on my shoulder she asked. "Mickey, are you alrigh' sugarcube?"
"I hate surprise parties." I told her.
"I understand." Applejack looked me in the eyes. Her green eyes deeply gazing into my own hazel ones, this is how she got you. "Was what Pinkie holding yours ?"
"Yeah it was, I was scared." I admitted.
"You know we would never do anything to hurt you Mickey." Fluttershy got on her knees, kneeling right next to AJ. "What made you feel like that?"
"The circumstances were suspicious, I know Celestia wants me. I-I thought she turned you against me. I thought she turned the town against me."
"Mickey, we know you aren't a soldier like the ones we have in the royal guard. You won't go into detail, that's just fine. But don't you EVER think that we would sell you out." Twilight chastised me. "You're our friend. No matter what."
"I-I-I can't help it." I looked down as Pinkie exited the bathroom. "Also I'm a marine, not a soldier."
"Girls, he knows already." Pinkie told her friends. "Go, enjoy the party."
Fluttershy and AJ stood up and dispersed amongst the crowd with the others trailing behind except for Pinkie. Pinkie looked down at me and then got on my level. "Mickey, I'm a little disappointed in you. Why did you feel the need to carry that with you?"
"You can't tell a marine not to be a marine, even if he's out. That being said, I should've trusted you a bit more, I'm sorry."
"Thank you Mickey." She put her hand on my cheek and got closer but I stopped her.
"Pinkie." I said only her name and she stopped her advancement.
"Sorry, it's coming in a little early for me. That's why I wanted to do this today and not hold it off until later." Pinkie blushed. "I'm sorry."
"If you want I can stop by Zecora's and grab a few potions."
"There's no need. I think I need a little session with Mr. Pink." Pinkie winked at me.
I smirked and looked at her. "Did you do anything to my place?"
"No I didn't, I just put the knife away where you asked me to and I popped right back out." Pinkie said. "Now can we please enjoy the party?"
"Alright." I hopped out of the chair I sat in and walked into the food table where I saw a cake with a picture of me on it. It was the only picture of me, and it was me punching Blueblood in the nuts. I smiled, the rest of the night went by in a blur there were games and songs, then there was dancing, I ate some, I drank some. I had fun for the first time in a long while. In fact for a moment there, I didn't have to look over my shoulder. Because just for a moment, I was safe.
Like all moments however, they had to come to an end. It was getting late and most people had already left. I sighed because the moment of safety had passed and I had to go back to looking over my shoulder. The mane six were helping clean up and it being my party and feeling partially responsible I decided to help. The clean up was a breeze and we all went our separate ways except for Fluttershy and I.
We were walking together because it was on the way to my house. Fluttershy is a modest 7'5 still looks down at me though I don't care about that anymore though. Her breast size is almost as impressive as Pinkie. It was a 43DD and if you're wondering why I know all these things, they told me in confidence. Fuck, they put so much trust in me to tell me their bra size and I can't even trust them not to turn me over to Celestia. If you're wondering why I'm paranoid about that it's because I'm technically not a citizen of Equestria. I fought for my country, you think I'm going to give it up for some candyland horse bullshit? Not in any lifetimes, Celestia allows me to come and go as I please, she has no legal precedent over the everfree forest, so that's an added bonus. Walking takes a lot off my mind just putting one foot in front of the other really helps.
We get to Fluttershy's cottage and I walk her up to the door as she fishes the keys out of her pocket I just lean against one of the walls. "Um, hey Mickey?" Fluttershy nervously asks.
"Yes, Flutterbutter what is it?" I casually reply.
"Would you mind staying the night here? I-I know that it's a long way back to your house and that it's pretty late. I just don't want you to get hurt." She twiddled her thumbs. "I-If you don't want to that's fine."
I looked at the position of the moon and sighed. "Fine, I'll sleep on the couch."
Fluttershy smiled. "Yay a sleepover! I'll go get some blankets and pillows, you just make yourself comfortable."
I walked in after the excited shy mare with a little smirk on my face. I eyed her couch, while she went to get the sleeping arrangements. I sat on the couch waiting, most of the animals were asleep. I say most because staring right at me from the floor was Angel Bunny, which was everything his name wasn't. "Look Angel I'm only spending the night and I'm sleeping on the couch. Don't feign innocence because I know you can understand me."
Fluttershy returned with a pair of pink pajamas on with blue butterflies all over them. "I got you some blankets and a pillow." She put them on the couch. "There's a spare toothbrush and toothpaste to go with it." She put the items on the couch.
"Alright." I said as I took off my shirt and Fluttershy gasped. "Hmm? Is something wrong?"
"I just, this is the first time I've seen anypony besides my friends without a shirt... do you not wear a bra?" Fluttershy asked with a blush written across her face.
"Oh sweetie, you're so adorably innocent. No, men don't wear bras."
"But what about your boobies?" She pointed at my pectoral muscles.
"They're called pectorals. They're muscles that are supposed to look like that after years of hard work on them." I said.
"How do you have nipples?" Fluttershy asked.
"I can't explain this very well but, as far as I know. Human babies have the same genetic blueprint but when developing in the womb babies lean one way or the other. Basically the nipples are evolutionary baggage. They serve no purpose, but they're there."
"Okay, um." Fluttershy paused. "You have a cutie mark?"
"Huh?" I then looked at my shoulder which had the image of a skull with a rose clenched in its mouth. "Oh no that's a tattoo."
"Tattoo?" Fluttershy asked.
"It’s basically an ink drawing placed permanently on my skin, so it won’t come off. I chose to get this.”
"Why?" She wondered.
"It's symbolism, death begets life. Or something like that."
"Oh...May I touch it?" Fluttershy the curious requested.
"Go ahead." I said as I sat on the couch. She reached over and touched the image plastered onto my skin, the paused for a minute and shook her head and she soon stopped. "Are you alright?" I asked her.
"I'm fine, just a little woozy, I must be tired." She got up.
"Do you need any help getting into bed?" I asked.
"No, no. I'll be fine, goodnight Mickey." She said as she climbed the stairs with the assistance of her handrail.
"Goodnight Fluttershy." I said as I prepared my bed for the evening and got underneath the covers. I thought back to the party, or more specifically what Twilight said, I was their friend. I should take more photographs with them.
Author's Note
I made the term "Popping" to refer to the fact that Pinkie can appear almost anywhere at anytime.
Journal Entry #4 (Edited)
When I started to stir awake I could smell pancakes, I sat up stretching out my muscles. I saw Fluttershy making pancakes and eggs, she had two plate set out. I'm guessing it was for the both of us. I gently cleared my throat to let her know that I was awake without startling her too much. She looked up from what she was doing and smiled. "Oh good morning Mickey, I hope you don't mind eggs and pancakes. I originally had some bacon as well but Harry the bear got into it when he wasn't supposed to and he's in time out at the moment."
Aw damn, I really wanted bacon now. "It's fine." I looked around on the counter. "Do you have any coffee?"
"Oh yes." She went over to a cabinet and took out a mug and poured me a cup of coffee. "Sorry, I used my tea set to help make the coffee so it may taste a bit different."
"It's fine, I appreciate it Fluttershy. Thanks for letting me sleep here." I mixed in some creamer and sugar into my coffee after I moved over to the counter to fix it the way I wanted.
"It's no problem, you are one of my friends after all." Fluttershy smiled as she served me my plate of pancakes and eggs.
"I'm not sure I should deserve that title. Given what had almost happened last night." I sighed.
"Mickey, we all do strange things when we're scared, I usually hide but you, you're a soldier you reacted the way you thought was best." Fluttershy sat next to me as she started to eat.
"How can you understand this so well?" I asked her as I began to eat. "I'm a marine by the way."
"My great uncle served in the royal guard. They broke him down and rebuilt him." Fluttershy said. "If you would like to talk about I'm always here to help."
I dug into my eggs. "Thank you, Fluttershy."
She smiled at me and I smiled back and continued to eat. She slowly put a hand on my back and rubbed it. "I'm glad you're comfortable."
I stoped eating. "Fluttershy, you're touching. Has your cycle started?"
"I-It has, but I took care of myself earlier. I just want to cuddle." Fluttershy said.
"Fluttershy, I'm not ready for something like that. I don't want to rush into something." I gripped my fork and knife tighter. "Please, don't do something like this to me."
Fluttershy took her hand off my back. "I'm sorry."
"I know you're just trying to help but I need time." I said.
"It's been 3 years Mickey, have you been...?"
"Pleasured? Yeah I have. It's nothing but sex. It means nothing but...I want it to mean more. I want to feel loved." I said.
"D-Did you ever think about, herding?" Fluttershy pointed out. "There's the girls and I. Except Rarity."
"I don't want to rush anything." I argued.
"Mickey, we would never hurt you for any reason." Fluttershy looked at me in the eyes, her teal eyes staring into my hazel ones. "Just please try to be more social. You're more secluded than Twilight when she gets a new book." She put a hand on my cheek. "Come on, don't you think it's time for you to open up to us?"
I lean into Fluttershy's hand a little. "I'll...try. It's going to be a while, I need some time."
"Okay." Fluttershy pulled me into a hug which I did not return. I had fork and knife in my hands I didn't want to accidently hurt her.
Maybe it was time to get out there again. I need to get some help, after the hug I put the fork and knife down and took the plate to the sink to wash it. It gave me some time to think. I've been very antisocial since I've been dumped in Equestria. Looking out at Fluttershy effortlessly feeding the animals. She may not be as well built as Applejack or Rainbow Dash but she still has built muscle over time by feeding the animals she has under her care. I smiled as I cleaned the dishes, I was concentrating on my thoughts so much that I had cleaned all the dirty dishes. I was cleaning the last knife when Fluttershy came back in she startled me when she asked. "Oh! You're still here?"
"Ah!" I jerked my hand and it sliced my palm open. "OH SHIT!" I wrapped my hand in a towel.
"Oh my!" Fluttershy gasped. "I'll go get the first aid kit." Fluttershy ran up to the bathroom while I sat down to slow the bleeding by tightening a towel around my hand. When she came back, she had some antiseptic and I opened up the towel and she put it on the wound.
"AH FUCK!" I slammed my other hand onto the table.
"I'm sorry. I don't think this would require stitches but it's better if we get it checked out." Fluttershy said. "We should go to the hospital."
"That won't work. Pony medicine is too foreign to my body, I have to go to the veterinarian. I'm more primate than pony biology-wise." I said.
"Oh, well. I'm working towards my veterinarian's license so I could stitch this up if you need me to." Fluttershy suggested.
"This is nothing more than a flesh wound, I was once stabbed 3 times in the same day. I'm still alive."
"Oh wow." Fluttershy said as she wrapped up my wound. "I'm not sure to be horrified that you got stabbed 3 times or proud that you told me a little about yourself and your past."
"Maybe a little mix of both wouldn't hurt." I smiled. "Sorry about your cutlery."
"It's fine, I startled you and you had an accident. So there's no one to blame, but I also want to thank you for doing my dishes, I would've done them myself." Fluttershy finished with my wound.
I flexed my fingers and thumb. "Nothing debilitating, but it's going to hurt occasionally."
"Just don't do anything too strenuous with it, and while there's no actual damage it could get much worse if you use it for too long."
"But I work at Applejack's, I have to use my hands if I want to work." I said.
"I could tell her that you could work the stalls with Applebloom, you know she and the crusaders think the world of you." Fluttershy offered.
"When I first met the three, they tied me up and covered me in honey to slow me down. I had honey in my hair and had to shave almost my entire head. They still haven't repaid me in a way that I see fit." I pointed out.
"That's really not fair." Fluttershy pouted.
"What's not fair is having honey in your ass and having to shit it out." I said. "That's not fun."
Fluttershy grew upset and flicked my forehead. "I don't care what you do in your house but as long as you're inside of my home you aren't going to swear."
"Yes ma'am." I took the first aid kit. "I'll put this up and then get my stuff and get out of here. I need to make sure that nothing has stepped on my house."
I walked up to the bathroom and put the first aid kit back where it belonged underneath the sink. I was walking downstairs when I heard Fluttershy talking with someone, and it wasn't an animal because I heard them talking back. When I got to the living room I noticed that Fluttershy was talking with Applejack. "Oh hey Mick, I guess you were sleeping on Fluttershy's couch this mornin'."
"Yeah, it was late last night and it's a long walk to my house from here so I just slept here. There's no problem with that is there?" I asked my employer.
"Nah, just deliverin' some apples for Shy here. She told me about your hand." AJ mentioned.
"Yeah it's fine, I can do my work with one hand, though it might take me twice as long." I told her.
"If you're willin' you could work the apple stall later on today with Apple Bloom." AJ suggested.
I scratched my head for a bit, I did think about being a little less antisocial. "Fine, I'll do it."
"Looks like I lost a bet with Rainbow. I'd never thought I'd see the day that Mick chose to work the stall." AJ adjusted her hat.
"I have to go to my house to change clothes and take a shower. I'll be there around 10." I told her. "I don't think you would like it if I showed up to work smelling like day old whiskey." I then put my shirt and boots on and left the house. "Oh and thanks Fluttershy."
After I left AJ looked at Fluttershy. "Okay darlin' you gotta tell me how you did that."
"Did what?" Fluttershy asked.
"He's a bit calmer, a little more open. He doesn't look like the world is out ta get him." AJ stated. "How did you do it?"
"I made him think." Fluttershy said. "I showed him how unhealthy it was for him to be antisocial and told him how we were concerned for him."
"Well I'll be a orange's uncle." AJ said scratching her head.
If you're wondering how I know about conversations they have when they're not around me, they usually tell me about these things later.
Journal Entry #6 (Edited)
I sat in the Castle waiting for Pinkie to get back with the others. I was thinking about my life in Equestria so far, man 3 years just flies by without me even noticing it. Did I even celebrate my birthdays? Wait, no stop thinking about that, Pinkie might sense it. I was looking out the window just, anticipating the others while I drank a cup of tea. While personally I don't like it without a fuckton of sugar and cream in it, it was passable. Twilight was busy reading a book while sitting on a throne surrounding a table. I don't know why the fuck it's even here, what is it for? Not even the girls know what it's mean to do.
Twilight cleared her throat and I looked at her. "What's up Twifight?"
Twilight's muzzle scrunched up and she huffed. "That's not my name and you know it."
"Okay Twiright, what's on your mind?" I asked her.
"Everypony wants to know why, so I'm not going to ask that. What I will ask is, how?" Twilight said.
"That's really the thing, I don't know. I know why, the why is because I feel enough time has passed since I came here to talk about myself a bit. Will I tell you everything? No, I won't but, that's the great part about being a human. You don't have to share how you feel if you don't want to." I rambled. "How I came to this decision? That's something I'm going to need help figuring out."
"I'm proud of you." Twilight said. "It takes a lot of courage to-"
"That's where I'm going to stop you. Twilight, if you talk about courage I've got it by the fucktons." I interrupted her. "I'm not going to be sharing all my feelings like this is a therapy session, because, quite frankly, I'm a fucking nutcase that's barely functioning."
"Language," Twilight growled, giving me a slight glare.
"Whatever." I drank my tea, still looking out the window. "I don't have all the answers to explain why I do what I do, or even how I do it."
"So...my question could quite possibly never be answered." Twilight pointed out.
"It could or couldn't. It takes time, you never get your answers instantly. Well, not without the internet anyways." I smiled.
"I love the internet." Twilight said. Twilight has repeatedly mentioned that she could take me to a version of earth with everything I was used to. My problem is this, she's an Equestrian that becomes a human. Would I become an Equestrian when I go to the other side of the portal or would I stay a human? Then there's the concept of age, would I be the same age as I am now or a teenager? There's so many things that could go wrong that I don't want to take the risk.
"Have you tried explaining to the girls what exactly the internet is?" I asked Twilight.
"I think it would make their heads explode if I tried." Twilight answered.
I looked back out the window to catch the other girls coming in, I sighed and finished my tea. "Is there anything other than tea that you can offer someone when they're in your house Twilight?"
"Um, well I never thought about that," Twilight said. "Why are you saying this so suddenly?"
"Time to make it seem like we were having a healthy conversation when the girls come in, in 3...2...1..."
The door opened and the rest of the Mane 6 to arrive, Rarity just looked at me and said. "You know, we could hear you outside the door."
I just laughed, "Yeah I did know that."
"Then why did you that then?" Rainbow asked.
"I don't know anymore." I said. "It's like I told Twilight, I'm barely functioning as is. It's time I received some help, and I'm not going to pay some quack hundreds of bits just to explain what words mean what to me. I already know the meaning to words, I need to know the meaning behind my actions. I need to become stable, I've started to write in that journal you gave me Twi."
"That's surprising, when I first gave it to you, you said it was stupid and a waste of your time." Twilight crossed her arms.
"Would you believe me if I said that I don't remember that conversation?" I told her.
"Mickey, what's going on?" Pinkie asked.
"I've...started to lose my grip on reality, I've been hearing things that aren't there. Seeing things out of place, I've been going crazy. I don't think Zecora has to put up with shit like that." I said.
"Language." They all chastised me.
"FUCK OFF!" I unexpectedly roared, I then punished myself by slamming my head on the Cutie Map. "Please, stop telling me about my language. If there's one outlet I NEED, it's my foul mouth. Besides, we're all adults we can handle a little foul language here and there."
"Alright, you have a point darling." Rarity said. "But are you actually sure that you're going insane?"
"I've started to talk to people who aren't there. I keep writing, expecting someone to read it when I know it's just a collection of words on a page that no one will pay attention to." I said.
"So, you're really struggling with staying grounded in reality?" Fluttershy asked.
"Yeah, and don't even THINK about putting me in a mental ward. I'm more than convinced that this is a natural reaction."
"Going crazy is natural?" Rainbow Dash asked. "How?"
"I was in a world where technology was abundant and the planet was dying, killing people was as easy as pulling a trigger. If I needed anything, I got into a machine that makes miniature explosions happen inside of it to transport me places. I then paid large corporations a huge amounts of money for things that I would consume within a few days, only to repeat the process in a week. That was what I was used for, the government was fucked up and corrupt as all hell and yet we still voted after every four years for someone that would either be stupider than balls or try to improve the country and get criticized for it. Nothing was perfect and we accepted things for what it was, people lived and people died, some people died earlier than others thought they were supposed to and insane people, others toted around guns and kill others for stupid reasons. My world was imperfect yet, it was the one I was born in it's the way I accepted life. Imagine how it would feel if I was suddenly picked up from the world I was used to and tossed into a world where things that were dismissed as myth and legend, are now real. Magic is real when I only imagined it to be slight of hand, and it's most powerful form is of all things, friendship. So yeah, I think me having a mental breakdown after 3 years in being in magic pony land is pretty fucking NATURAL!" I slammed my fist on the table. "Despite all of this, I have spurred multiple advances from women that I would feel only take advantage of me for my dick. I also have lived in a forest where everything would either eat me, step on me, or do both." I sat back down, my rant spent and feeling a LOT better.
"I...uh...wow." Twilight could only breathe out. "I guess that having a breakdown would only feel a little natural."
Fluttershy said nothing as she just came up to me and wrapped me in a hug. I couldn't really do much other than return the hug, because sometimes that's all a person really needs. Just when I thought the hug was over, Pinkie hugged Fluttershy, trapping me between their extremely large boobs and made me feel like I was in paradise. I just smiled and closed my eyes as that happened. They knew what they were doing, and pretty soon the others joined in as well, even Rainbow Dash hugged me and it felt nice. It felt like I had finally taken a step in the right direction for a change.
The group hug soon broke up I dropped back down. "That felt, good."
"We're glad it felt good for you, Mickey." Fluttershy said.
I chuckled. "Phrasing, Flutters. Mind your words."
Fluttershy blushed when I said that. The other girls looked at me and Twilight scratched the back of her head. "So you mentioned something else that you may want to start doing?" Twilight blushed as she struggled to get the words out.
"Yes, I want to start dating. I think you girls would be a great fit for me. However, I do have some ground rules."
"Go ahead." Applejack said.
"Rule number one, DO NOT pressure me into anything I don't want to do and I'll return the courtesy. Rule number two, this is going to be slow. Don't expect me to bend you over and take you right here right now. Rule number three, this one is especially important. No means NO! I cannot ever recount how many times a person has been forced into something that they never wanted to do. So to recount, no pressure, no speed, and just no. Understand?"
"Yes." Agreed AJ.
"Okie dokie lokie!" Pinkie said in her usually bubbly voice.
"Alright." Rainbow agreed.
"Of course." Fluttershy nodded.
"Whatever best suits you will be best for us." Twilight said. "We promise that we will respect any request you have, as the Alpha mare I swear to you that this herd will do our absolute best for our stallion."
"Just call me a person, a man is just fine." I said.
"We will do the absolute best for our man." Twilight reiterated.
"Alright then, so where should we go for our first date? Since we're officially dating now. After heat week of course." I said.
"Just give us some time to decide and we'll come up with something incredible." Twilight said.
"I'll hold you to it. But there is something else I wanted to discuss."
"What is it?"
"I want to move to Ponyville." I said.
Author's Note
Cliff Hanger, hanging from a cliff! That's why he's called Cliff Hanger!
Journal Entry #7 (Edited)
My statement stood still in the air. My desire to move to Ponyville was stated and I couldn't take it back, I sat back in my chair as the girls contemplated what I had just said. I had been thinking about moving for a while but there were some things I'd need to show them first. I have a theory about this planet, I just need it to be confirmed. So far from what I've collected it holds some ground. I looked at the girls, seeing their reactions told me all I needed to know.
"You want to move to Ponyville?" Twilight asked. "Well as resident princess I am more than willing to help you with your transition into a home here in Ponyville."
"No, no, no, you misunderstand what I'm saying. I want to move MY HOUSE, into Ponyville." I clarified. "If you think I'm just going to leave the cabin I worked on for upwards of a year just out in the forest then you're dead wrong missy."
"You do realize that it would take the magic power of a...oh you clever bastard." Twilight said as she realized what I meant. "I'm not doing it."
"PLEASE?" I said with a shit eating grin on my face.
"No, I will not." Twilight said.
"Um, would y'all mind explaining what's going on here? I think that we're missin' some context." Applejack ask.
"This crazy little person wants me to teleport his house from the Everfree Forest into Ponyville!" Twilight pointed at me.
"After heat week of course," I said, "During that time, no mare has the fortitude to even think about stepping into the Everfree forest. I think it's because of the pheromones they give off during that time, makes predators aware of their weakened state. That's my theory at least, I would never try and test it. Even then I might just bang Zecora."
"Wait, you've had sex with Zecora?" Rainbow crossed her arms. "When were you going to tell us?"
"Oh yeah that's another thing, if I'm going to be doing this 'herd' thing. I want Zecora to join, no questions." I stated.
"Well that's up to Twilight." Fluttershy pushed her index fingers together.
Twilight looked down at me. "You're a strange little man, first you want me to literally move your house and then you want me to add another member to our herd."
"It's either that, or I leave. I could quite possibly never return only for you girls to find me hanging from the rafters with my neck in a noose." I said, potentially mortifying my perspective partners but, in order for things to go your way you have to be bold.
"Alright, we'll let her in the herd." Twilight relented. "Please, don't say anything like that again, you almost made Fluttershy cry."
I looked to the pale yellow and pink mare who was on the verge of tears, I sighed and said. "I'm sorry I threatened suicide to get what I wanted Fluttershy."
"Apology accepted, but you owe me cuddles." Fluttershy, the soft negotiator.
"Alright." I agreed to the cuddles, because let's face it. Who wouldn't want to cuddle Fluttershy? There I go again, thinking that someone other than me would read this. Why do I keep writing like that? You know what, I'll just stop questioning it. If my mind is making up an audience for this journal then I don't care anymore, let the good times roll, god knows I need it. I agreed to the cuddles but then hopped up and cracked my neck. The sound of me doing that made the girls, with the exception of Rainbow and AJ cringe. "Well now that that's all settled, I need to go home. I want you girls to come with me too."
"Why?" Rarity asked.
"I need to show you something, because I have a theory that the government has been lying to you."
"Why would the princesses lie to us?" Pinkie asked.
"Why would Celestia hedge all of her bets on a ragtag group of ponies who barely knew each other and hope that it would get her sister back while she did nothing but disappear?" I asked them. "Why would she put the 6 of you against Discord, who she knew could very well end the world? She has been risking your lives and you have done nothing but follow her blindly."
They were all silent for a moment, I had to make them think about it. "But, surely she knew that we would succeed. Right?" Twilight asked.
"If she knew that, then she would also have known the reason why I'm here. I'm trying to get you to think for yourselves, because a little doubt goes a long way. The next time she asks you to do something tell her to do it herself." I said as I started to walk out the castle. I walked straight out of the castle and past Fluttershy's house with the mane six in tow. They were all wondering what I was doing as I walked right into the Everfree forest and straight up to my house.
"I don't get it, what's so important that you had to show us? We've all been to your house." Rainbow asked.
"It's around back." I said as I walked to what could be called a backyard, to be quite frank it's barely passable as one. I pointed to a tarp covering something. "It's this."
"That's a tarp." Rainbow pointed it out.
"Thank you captain obvious." I said as I grabbed the tarp and pulled it off. "I was talking about what was underneath the tarp."
To the girls is looked like a big hunk of metal but to Twilight and I it was so much more. It was a 1970's Dodge Charger, let me ask you something. What the fuck is a car from my world doing in Equestria? It looked old enough to have been here for quite a while.
"But that's, that's a CAR!" Twilight shouted.
"I know, I found it in the forest. I had to cut down a lot of trees to get it here and it's still got some critters living inside of it." I banged on the hood and a squirrel dropped out of the undercarriage and scurried off. "Either Celestia knows more than what's going on, or there's a good fucking reason that there's a classic car in the middle of a magic fucking forest. Doesn't matter either way, something is off."
"So you're saying that Celestia knows more than she's letting on?" Rarity asked.
"Yeah, it basically boils down to two theories I have. First one, Equestria is much older than you think. I believe it's an Earth where the human race either destroyed themselves or moved to another planet in search of a better life. The second theory I have is that there are dimensional rifts that suck in things from different planets, with Earth being a populated planet and having technological marvels, Equestria with a will of its own occasionally takes these marvels for itself in hopes that somepony will find it, and I was someone who got caught in the crossfire," I stated, "Either way, something smells fishy and it smells like it's coming from Celestia."
"Why do you instantly blame her and not say, Luna?" Twilight asked.
"Luna had a 1,000-year hiatus on the moon when she got pissy and threw the world into an extended daylight savings." I countered. "For her to mastermind all of this while stuck on a lifeless rock floating around the planet is doubtful to say the least. I'd doubt Cadence would even be aware of this as she isn't much older than you are Twilight, and I don't think you or Cadence would do something like this to an innocent person for shits and giggles."
"What about Discord?" Rainbow asked which gathered a glare from Fluttershy.
"Discord wouldn't purposely fuck with another person to risk ending his friendship with Fluttershy, it's one of the few things he holds precious in his life." I stated. "What I've seen from Celestia is that she likes to play games with her subjects, she's been around so long that she's seen people pass before her eyes and has become a little desensitized. She's a master manipulator that loves to play into her strengths, and when all else fails she pulls out her trump card."
"The elements of harmony." Twilight concluded.
"Think about it Twilight, she's tried it before with Sunset Shimmer. The exception is she got Sunset as a teen, she got you as a child. She raised you to be a princess," I pointed out as I sat on the hood of the car, "Then there's your brother, who became Captain of the Royal Guard and then married Cadence to become a prince. She gave you Spike to raise as your own personal butler, and to top it all off she gave you an unfinished spell that destroyed your friends lives all on a whim just to see if you could pull it off. Then after that you became an alicorn! IT'S NEPOTISM AT ITS FINEST!"
"ENOUGH!!!!" Twilight shouted in the royal canterlot voice which pushed me back into the windshield of the car, cracking it. Twilight then realized what she had done after I had rolled off the hood of the car. "Oh Celestia, I'm sorry Mickey!" She teleported over to me to help me up.
"That's another thing, you treat her like a goddess. She moves the sun and is the ruler of Equestria, she has almost no equal." I stated as I brushed myself off. "I'm not saying I hate her, but all the things she's done have me doubting whether or not she has Equestria's best interests at heart, or Twilight's."
"But what about you?" Pinkie asked.
"I'm a wildcard, I'm the unpredictable element that she doesn't like. So, she tried to make me into a breeder to get me out of the way. Keep me as background noise, except I refused. I don't want a destiny that's already chosen for me, I like being on an unpredictable path." I smiled. "You've got to admit, things like this would have never happened if Twilight had never been in your lives. It makes too much sense."
"You're right." Twilight said. "I want to doubt it so much, but I can see it. She didn't want you near us because you could open our eyes."
"Twilight, it does sound a little far fetched doesn't it?" Rarity asked.
"Think about it Rarity, think about to the day we first met. Celestia KNEW that Nightmare Moon was coming and she prepared for it, she took a wild gamble on her student to make friends and rediscover the elements of harmony. She knew about the elements because she wielded them alongside Luna to defeat Discord the first time. Time after time she calls upon us to save Equestria and we do, but when was the last time that she did anything herself?"
"There was that time where she..." Pinkie said then stopped because she couldn't think of anything.
"Fluttershy, she knew that her pet was a phoenix and told you nothing about it until after you had assumed the worst." Twilight pointed out.
"I...you're right. Why did she do that?" Fluttershy crossed her arms, "That isn't very forthcoming of a ruler at all!"
"Celestia has been planning this since the very beginning of your lives. When Rainbow Dash made the first Sonic Rainboom it affected all six of you. Six fillies earning their cutie marks at the same time, that's got to be a little more than destiny if you ask me," I said, "I want answers, and I'll be damned if I have to wait another year to get them."
"I think we all deserve some answers," Twilight agreed.
"Yeah!" The other five shouted in unison. I just smiled as I knew what I had done, I took a crowbar and pried their eyes open. I had made them see that you need answers to things and you need to doubt everything you think you know, I made them think like humans.
Author's Note
I know that there is a fic out there where there's a chapter where they make Celestia save equestria by herself, the ponies are stuck in super comfy chairs of their own creation and Starswirl the Bearded was a crazy villain who was reformed, I remember it specifically because he was related to Trixie. Please help me find it. Also don't expect an update until around Monday, I did a double update today because A. I was on a roll, and B. I'm going to be working all weekend.
Author's Note
Sexy times ahead!
Journal Entry #8 (NSFW)
It was at times like this where I recall an old saying, prepare for the worst and hope for the best. We all knew it was coming, the week of pleasure that most males in Equestria either dread or are glad for because they get some action. Heat week, it kicks the need for making a baby into absolute overdrive for the mares. However, sometimes it pays to have a zebra shammaness that lives close to village. Zecora made an absolute killing in selling potions to avoid unwanted pregnancies, she was probably tweaking the formula because the potions longest effective time was about a day. I was a willing participant in that, like a legendary teal armored space warrior from the future would say 'bow chicka bow wow', all jokes aside I was sitting out in my cellar.
My cellar is basically a bunker with all the food I need, a kitchenette, a shower and bathroom, a bed, and some books I borrowed from the library. If you're wondering why I am not in my cabin, during heat week I rent it out to the highest bidder. The winner this year? Big Macintosh, he promised me two weeks off with pay. What kind of fool would I be if I didn't accept that offer? I obviously moved my gun down here with me along with my other weapons. I was in the middle of reading the history of equestria I was making my own footnotes on the book when, I heard a knocking. Only three people knew about this location, it was Me, Mac, and....uh oh.
"Michael my sweet, I've come for a treat~" Zecora singed.
I walked over to the cellar door and looked out the built in door slot. I stared her up and down. "Prove that you're not trying to get pregnant."
Zecora took out a potion and drank it. "There, now I must throw this in a bin. So, would you please let me in?"
"Stop rhyming, I know it's a nervous habit of yours." I said and she stared at me.
"I have an itch that needs to be scratched and you're being an asshole." Zecora said.
"You know what to do about that." I smiled behind the door.
Zecora reached into her hair and pulled out a few hair pins, her mohawk soon fell past her face and she shook out her hair, letting her locks fall down, perfectly framing her face. I smiled and unlocked the door, undoing all 20 of the locks, it can never hurt to be too prepared. I opened the door and she nearly tackled me to the ground pressing her lips against my own. She moaned into the kiss while I rolled over and pushed off her. I jerked my thumb at the open door and she nodded. I relocked the cellar door and she was already in her bra and panties on the bed.
I rolled my eyes and joined her, "You know. I started that whole herd thing with Twilight and the girls."
"I know, you want me to be your sixth," Zecora rolled over on top of me, straddling my waist as she started to take off my shirt. "I'm not opposed to it."
"I would have thought you would've argued for the Alpha mare position, considering you were the first one I was intimate with in Equestria." I said as my shirt slipped over my head and was deposited with the rest of Zecora's clothing.
"I care not for what role I play, as long as I can pleasure you then I would gladly accept." Zecora pinned my arms down, noticing the bulge in my pants. "Excited are we?"
"When a sexy ass zebra in heat comes knocking on my cellar door begging for cock, how could I not be horny?" I asked rhetorically.
"Speaking of which, how come you're not in your cabin?"
"Rented it out, followed your lead and profited from heat week. Promising a safe haven from horny mares? Who wouldn't pay for that?"
"Your point is once again valid," Zecora said as she started to kiss my neck. "However, for the rest of the week, you're mine."
"You're not the least bit curious about who it could be? The pony sitting in my house right above us, potentially hearing us fuck each other silly?"
"Now I am," Zecora licked my abs. I could see what she was aiming at, and I wasn't in the mood to stop her.
"Mac," I answered. "He promised me two weeks off with pay."
"Hmm," Zecora undid the button of my pants with her teeth. She unzipped my fly and pulled off my pants, the only thing between her muzzle and my erect dick was my boxers.
"Would you like to unwrap me?" Zecora pressed her breasts together with her arms.
I brought her down and kissed her neck while I unclasped her bra, she shrugged it off showing her black and white striped breasts. Her black nipples stuck out prominently, I kissed down her neck and lightly licked her nipple. Causing her to moan out in pleasure she cradled my head, I sucked hard on her nipple tracing a circle around it with my tongue.
Zecora went to my boxers and pulled them down my legs. Remember in the first journal when I said that the doctors had given me shots to 'get me adjusted to magic'? It was a potion to enhance my size and stamina, yeah you want to know how long it made me? I was a modest 5 inches, it's now triple the size. I have a 15 inch cock, its still functional I constantly worry about getting a UTI I read about having too long of a cock can cause urinary tract infections but, everything is all good.
Zecora has said that I'm the biggest she's ever had. She smiles as she gently pushed my head back, laying me down. She gently licked the tip of my cock, I shivered as she took the head of my cock into her mouth. She took more of my cock into her skillful mouth, her tongue wrapping around the shaft as much as she could. This is why I reconsidered dating the girls, well that and 10 other reasons. Zecora took in as much as my dick as she could before pulling her mouth off. I could only frown as she drew her hands to her panties, then my frown turned into a shit eating grin while she slipped them off, revealing her winking pussy. With my cock pointed straight to the sky she crawled up and rubbed her pussy against the shaft of my cock. I smiled as she raised herself and held my cock in place she gently lowered herself onto my awaiting dick.
We both moaned out in pleasure as she continued to lower herself onto my throbbing man meat. Man meat is a silly word, but hell it's my journal so man meat it shall be. She kept going until she reached the base of my cock.
She reach out and held my hands, then kissed me. I kissed her back as she started to move up and down, gently massaging my dick with her warm, wet pussy. I moaned into the kiss as my tongue battled with hers, Zecora is a lot of things and one of the things she is, is a power top. She absolutely loves to be on top and I can't blamer her, ponies are a very matriarchal society so for the woman to be on top is very normal. She continued to bounce on my cock picking up speed as she did. It caused the both of us to moan louder, damn this feels so fucking good. Zecora let go of my hands and started to play with her 34C breasts, she pinched and pulled on her nipples as she bounced on my cock. She went faster and faster, her pussy got tighter as if it were trying to milk my cock. I could feel myself getting closer to my climax, that foreplay went a long way.
"Ze..cora..." I gasped out.
"I know my sweet," Zecora bounced faster as she got on her hooves and pressed her hands into my shoulders. "Cum inside me, grant both of us that sweet release."
I nearly screamed as I started to cum, "AH, FUUUUUCK~"
She moaned as her pussy tightened as I came, causing her to cum as well. "OH MICKEY!" She screamed out as came.
We soon separated and lay next to each other, I looked at her and said. "That felt good."
"I'm glad it felt good for you, it did for me as well," Zecora cuddled up to me.
Then there came a routine, we'd bang then we would shower and bang sometimes in the shower and back to bed. That's the way it went for the rest of the week. Bang, shower, bed. In the time between, I was looking at maps I was trying to see if there was a connection between the maps of equestria and Earth. Sadly no matter how I turned it, nothing matched up. So I came to the conclusion that I was in an alternate reality and I did it all while Zecora was sucking me off.
I looked down at the zebra. "Are you enjoying yourself?"
"Mmhmm." Zecora took her mouth off my cock, "It's like my favorite candy."
I just rolled my eyes as I went back to my book and Zecora went back to sucking my cock.
Journal Entry #9 (Edited)
With heat week over and me settling down, the girls met with Zecora at a cafe to discuss her joining the herd. I was just glad to be out of my cellar, I moved my weapons back into my house and made my cellar back into my hidey hole. I moved a wall aside in my cellar and revealed the entire map of equestria, it was the classic conspiracy board. Strings and thumbtacks into a map with pictures on it. They were, ponies of interest there was Trixie Lulamoon. She's a harmless street magician, I asked Twilight about her and she talked about a small history with her. She pops up from time to time, doing magic tricks at birthday parties and things of that nature. She and I write each other, after all I am sort of a rebel celebrity. I told her that if she wanted to talk at any time, just come to me.
Starlight Glimmer, the leader of a place called Our Town. It looks harmless enough but where the ponies live in bliss, I kept tabs on her. I haven't told Twilight or the others about this, I know she's planning something. I looked over to another picture, Queen Chrysalis queen of the changelings however, something of note. There's a changeling that is living outside of the hive, in the Crystal Empire. I've been here for 3 years and I've set up a network, people that I trust. Former military that is looking for a little more action than just fishing, they report to me and I give them the extra cash that I make by making things. I don't charge out the ass and sometimes I even take some money out of my personal paycheck to pay them for their efforts. Money is money, that can be replaced however, intel wins wars.
My cellar is my base of operations where I keep files on every and any pony that could be a threat, my biggest file is on Celestia. Her history is relatively unknown which is a big disadvantage, Discord isn't going to give up anything about her and I'm not willing piss off a chaos god who can make reality his own personal playground. The things I know about her is that, she's a politician through and through. Master manipulator and has used the girls for her own means more than once. She's been around for at least a thousand years, but her true age is unknown, she's asserted herself, her sister, her niece, and her student as the rulers of Equestria, The Crystal Empire, and Ponyville. So, she's Nepotistic as fuck. Her magic can theoretically move the sun but there's been no real proof, I've planted a seed of doubt into the elements. Made them require answers from the princess, and when they get answers, I'll get some answers. I'm not aiming to put the entire kingdom to its knees, I just want people to open their eyes. The more someone keeps a secret the more devastating it can become. She could be hiding secrets about an even more destructive enemy.
I was deep in thought until I heard a shout. "HEY MICKEY! YOU HERE!?" I knew by the voice it was Rainbow.
I turned off the light, put my files back behind the fake wall, and came out of my cellar. Pinkie was looking around the corner, "I found him!"
The rest of the girls came around the corner with Zecora in tow. "Hello girls," I said as I left my cellar.
"What were you doing in there?" Applejack asked.
"Oh, just moving some things around after heat week." I said.
"Yeah, Zecora told us of what you two got up to during heat week." Twilight crossed her arms.
"Oh, don't give me that look. I just started dating all of you and you expect me to bang you during heat week when we got together a week beforehand?" I argued.
Twilight uncrossed her arms after hearing my reasonable argument. "So, what do you have down there?"
"Spare bed, non-perishable food, and books," I answered. "Basic stuff."
"Okay, so we thought about going up to Canterlot and confrontin' the princess about makin' us do everything." Applejack said.
"I got a better idea," I said. "But we'll need some help."
"From whom?" Twilight asked.
"Tell me Fluttershy, when is your next tea time with Discord?" I asked my new butter yellow pegasus girlfriend.
Fluttershy tapped her chin, "It's tomorrow. I'm guessing you'd like to talk to him?"
"Oh, I'd love to." I grinned.
I told the girls about my plan, now I would go into detail about it right now. However, I'd rather just wait the suspense is worth it. I can hear some of the voices in my head saying that the kingdom should be abolished, I ain't going to do that. I want the truth, not anarchy. If I bring the kingdom down then it will cause total panic among everyone else and people might even die. I ain't having that, I signed up to protect innocent people not get them killed.
I walked around Ponyville, just thinking about what I was about to do. I was gearing up to extract information out of a ruler centuries older than me I was going to need the mother of all game plans. I had to rely on the fact that I was a wild card, I had to stay unpredictable. I needed to become the world's best interrogator in a few days and there wasn't anything that was going to stop me. The day went by quite fast actually, I walked back to my house to find that my door was unlocked. I never leave my door unlocked, I took out the knife I had on me and slowly entered my house.
"This is a quaint little place you have here," A voice called from my recliner and I whipped around to see it was...Luna?
"Luna, I could have killed you." I said as I threw my knife into a target on the wall.
"We both know that was never going to happen." Luna said.
"Why are you here?" I asked. "Shouldn't you be with your sister? Manipulating the public?"
"I don't understand why you detest my sister so much." Luna said.
"I don't hate her, I want the truth." I pulled up the singular chair I use in my small dining room and sat across from her. "That doesn't answer my question, why are you here Luna?"
"I know what you're preparing to do, while I don't agree with it entirely. I understand why you must do what you have to," Luna said and then she pulled out a file similar to what I had in my cellar. "I know about your little spy network, it's very ingenious getting retired guards to run security to keep tabs on potential ponies that might cause trouble in the future." Luna handed me the file. "This is a file on my sister."
"Why give it to me?" I looked up at her. "Isn't this treason?"
"Because, you're right. You deserve the truth, and it's not treason if I say it's not." Luna smirked and began to exit when she stopped at the door. "Mickey, I know about your dreams, the spell around this house is just for show."
"It gives me peace of mind. I know you don't want to see the terrible things that are in my dreams, I appreciate you for that." I said as I looked down. "Sometimes peace of mind is all you can afford in the world."
"Yeah it is." Luna looked out into the forest then turned back to look at me. "You don't hate me, in fact it feels like you have some amount of respect for me. Why?"
"We were both monsters at one point, I know that Nightmare Moon is still with you. Just like Iraq and Afghanistan are still with me, we did things. Things that were wrong for reasons we thought were right, no amount of time can ever make up for that. So yeah, I respect you because we're similar, we have burdens and we carry them. We put a smile on our faces and do our fucking jobs because no one else will." I said.
"Some might say that Tia had her burdens when she banished me to the moon." Luna looked sullen.
"That doesn't excuse her from using her student and five of her citizens to deal with her problems on a constant basis. She's a ruler, she should put herself before her citizens, make sacrifices herself before others. She should be upfront, and not play fucking chess games with people. It's worked out so far, but one of these days. Someone's going to die, then who will she blame?"
"By the stars, I can't imagine if something like that happened," Luna looked at the door frame.
"I can, which is why I'm prepared for it," I said. "Thank you Luna. If you want to talk again, send a letter ahead of time. Then maybe us monsters can have a chat and a spot of tea."
"I prefer coffee actually," Luna said as she walked out the door. "Goodnight Mickey."
"Goodnight Moon." I said as she spread her wings and flew back to Canterlot.
Journal Entry #10 (Edited)
The file of Celestia sat on my kitchen table, cold and unfeeling as an inanimate object should be. What Luna gave me was invaluable leverage, but I didn't know if I should read it. I was looking at the manilla folder, everything I didn't know about Celestia it was in there, and in my hand was a lighter. I nicknamed the lighter lucky, I stared at the lighter in my hand. Was I really considering going to war with her? I put the lighter away and opened the folder, she was born in the time when the three tribes were at war, by a herd of a unicorn stallion and pegasus mare, she gave birth to twins, Celestia and Luna. Celestia was born a few minutes older than Luna, they inherited traits from both parents, nothing unnatural. They met up with with an earth mare shaman that gave them the directions to the tree of harmony, when touching the tree they had reached the astral plane and ascended to become alicorns.
Something had said in the astral plane that their destinies were to become the rulers of the newly established Equestria, they believed it to be the voice of God. Then, after a lot of politicking and favors they had become the new rulers of Equestria, and then history happened, Discord, Nightmare Moon, Chrysalis, Sombra, Tirek. There is something that she is incredibly weak against, she is very heavily biased towards unicorns. She's a tribalist, and now I have her by the proverbial balls. The school for gifted unicorns, all of her past students being unicorns, the fact that most of her guards are unicorns. I just smiled, I got a weakness from her and I could go public with this. In fact, I just might I was writing out a letter to multiple news sources but stopped. What was I thinking? This person allows me to stay in her country, and I was about to expose her. I stopped, and took out my lighter then I burnt the letters. I then took out another piece of paper and started to write it. No more lies, no more secrets. I'm going to get the truth, no matter what and it starts today. I finished writing the letter and stood up, I opened the door to my cabin.
I closed it and locked the door, I walked into town. I stopped by Fluttershy's to tell her hello and give a quick bit of my time to Discord.
"Oh, hello Michael. Wonderful to see you again." Discord said. "Fluttershy has clued me into this plan of yours."
"The plan is off, I have a letter for Celestia. The secrets stop now, that includes you. You know almost everything about those two, and now so do I. Do you have, any secrets you want to tell me?"
"I know about Earth, I visit there from time to time, but I can't bring anyone over. I am being completely honest when I say that I don't know how you got here." Discord admitted.
"Thanks for telling me the truth," I said as I walked towards Ponyville, Twilight's castle being my destination.
I walked up to the castle and knocked on the crystal door, Spike answered it. Spike was almost as tall as I was, but he was bound to get bigger. He is a growing dragon after all, he looked up at me and smiled, "Hey Mickey, what are you doing here?"
"I need you to send a letter to Celestia for me." I held out the letter.
"Okay, sure thing." Spike took the letter, breathed his magic flame and sent it off. "Anything else you need?"
"Tell Twilight to get the girls and meet me at my cabin." I stated as I walked back home.
"What are you going to do?" Spike asked.
"I'm ending this." I said.
I sat in my cabin, looking at the structure I had built, it was my home for the past 3 years. However, it wasn't where my heart belonged. I had been tossed into a world that wasn't my own and was practically told good luck surviving. I left the door unlocked, waiting for the girls as I just stared at what I had accomplished in these past 3 years. Then there came a question, that question planted a seed of doubt in my mind, I it found difficult to answer this question, am I a good man? I don't know the answer to that, hell am I even a man at all anymore? The things a person does during war, it's a circumstance I would never try to bring this to my own doorstep. So, why did I? I'm a good marine, a man though? I think it's better if I ask the girls that question. Probably would come up with the same answer though. This is why I shouldn't be left alone anymore, I start having an existential crises.
I was about to think more on the subject when there was a knock at my door. I looked out the window to see it was the girls, I opened the door and let them in. They all sat on the floor since the cabin was built to my size. Wait a minute, I hear you thinking. If the cabin is built to your size how was Luna able to walk around freely and sit in your recliner? She's an alicorn, I'm more than positive she could adjust her size if she needed to. Why doesn't Twilight do it though? I guess she doesn't know the spell, seeing them sit on the floor like children while I sit in the big boy chair. I looked and saw Discord outside, he was welcome here. I didn't mind as long as he didn't mess anything up.
Twilight cleared her throat and broke the silence, "So, Mickey. Why did you call us here?"
"I'm going to confront Celestia, right here, right now. I'm not waiting for any longer, I ne-deserve some answers." I said, I then stood up. I may have been talking but I was also listening, I heard a chariot touch down outside of the forest. I walked outside to see Princess Celestia surrounded by guards, although I knew the guards were just for show. The girls soon joined me outside.
One of the guards blew a trumpet and then began to speak, "Now announcing Princess Celestia-"
"Shut it boy scout, everyone knows who she is," I interrupted the trumpet player. "I didn't invite you all the way out to my home for theatrics."
"Quite right." Celestia walked forward and dismissed the guards. She spotted Twilight and the others and smiled. "Twilight it's good to see you."
"You didn't come to see me Princess . Mickey called you here and quite frankly, we're behind him." Twilight retorted with a slight venom that I haven't seen before.
Celestia was taken aback by that comment, "Twilight?"
"I think she's made her position quite clear." I said, catching her attention. I then looked to Discord, "Discord could you please give us a room outside of time and space?"
Discord then smiled and snapped his talon and the eight of us disappeared. When I got a look of our surroundings it was a regular interrogation room. Discord has always had flair for the dramatic. I sat down and the file on Celestia appeared on the table. Celestia looked at it, "Keeping tabs on me?"
"Well, I tried." I shrugged, "But there's something that's always been...off."
The mane six were quiet as they observed from the other side of the window. "Oh?" Celestia said.
"Your 'backstory' is too perfect." I pointed out, "Everything about you is too perfect."
"Yes?" Celestia looked at me, "Is there a point?"
"I'm getting to it. Your backstory is made up, nothing can be too perfect. So it's a lie." I concluded.
"Why would I lie?" Celestia asked.
"Why would you manipulate your student and use her and her friends to fight your battles for you?" I retorted.
"I have my reasons." Celestia said.
"BULLSHIT!" I roared suddenly, breaking her calm. "You have constantly used your six subjects for what reason? Because you couldn't do it yourself?"
"They're the elements of harmony, they are supposed to defend Equestria." Celestia answered.
"No, you're the ruler. That's your job, you're supposed to use the Military. Not 6 fucking citizens with no combat training and no real way to defend themselves other than the 'magic of friendship'." I slammed my hand on the table. "So, cut the bullshit and tell the truth."
"I knew that Twilight had a special connection to the element of magic-"
"EEEHT." I made a buzzer sound, "Would you like to try again? Because I know you've tried to do this before, multiple times. With Sunset Shimmer, and Twilight and her unicorn friends at your school. You were taking stabs in the dark with no fucking clue about who really were the elements of harmony."
Celestia swallowed, "Yes."
"So you admit that you were trying to find the bearers for the elements of harmony without knowing exactly who you were looking for?" I asked.
"I do." Celestia said, then she stood up. "I don't have to stand for this. I'm leaving." She lit up her horn and teleported only to find herself back in the chair. "What have you done?" She nearly growled.
"It's not what I did, I asked Discord to do this. Your magic doesn't work in here, it just sends you back to this chair." I mentioned. "The girls deserve the truth, and I deserve some answers."
"The truth? You couldn't handle it." Celestia crossed her arms.
"YOU COULDN'T HANDLE WATCHING YOUR FRIENDS DIE IN YOUR FUCKING ARMS SO, I'D SAY WE'RE ABOUT EVEN!" I yelled, making her arms uncross and making her lean back as well.
"You don't know me." Celestia said.
"You don't know how far I'm willing to go." I replied. "Now tell me, why did you hide the fact that Nightmare Moon was coming?"
"I don't have to say anything." Celestia said.
"You have a lot of ponies, depending on faith in you. Including the girls however, I arrived and talked to them. I planted a seed of doubt, the less you say the more that the elements of harmony will doubt you. They're more than willing to stop working for you, are you willing to compromise the safety of your nation for a little bit of quiet time?" I leveraged.
"By the stars, I hate you." Celestia said. "I needed my student to be able grow. I needed them to be able to find the elements within themselves."
"Fair enough, why no warning? Why not even tell the military? You just up and poof, like a magician you disappear. Can you explain that?"
"Nightmare ambushed me, trapped me on the moon and when she was defeated I escaped." Celestia admitted.
"Why didn't you warn the girls about Discord?" I asked while taking out a pen and notebook.
"He was a lawn ornament, a statue, what did I have to worry about?" Celestia said.
"There was a change to the status quo, the elements of harmony had returned and there were murmurs of chaos, that must have caught your attention." I noted.
"It did." Celestia admitted, "I thought that the seals were going to hold tight."
"Everything wears down, even seals." I said, "Tirek."
"I didn't know he had escaped, when he had popped up then he had already absorbed enough magic to be a credible threat." Celestia admitted, "You know I'm doing this so I won't lose my assets."
"You call them assets, I call them people." I answered. "Twilight's ascension."
"You want to question, why I turned my student into an alicorn?" Celestia looked at me, "It was her destiny."
"It was supposed to be the destiny of Sunset Shimmer before her. You want to try that again or are you sticking to that story?" I asked.
"You keep referring to Sunset." Celestia said.
"That was your mistake, let me ask you this. Have you ever noticed that these events, whenever there's a mare in question it's a synonym of Twilight Sparkle?" I asked her, "Twilight Sparkle, a student you practically raised and tore away from her parents. Then you set up for a babysitting job for your niece, and put Cadence in charge of Twilight. Twilight's brother, Shining Armor a cadet in the guard academy meets Cadence, and the newly minted Alicorn uses her new magic of love to help influence herself over this cadet, the cadet rises through guard academy in record time, becomes captain, and after two years he gets married and becomes a prince. Do you see where all of this coming from? I'm going to help you it's a word that starts with an N."
"You're accusing me of Nepotism." Celestia's eyes widened.
"No, it's written in plain ink. Your captain of the guard is a married prince that is related to you, he's too close to you. He should be relieved." I said.
"You believe I'm behind this." Celestia said.
"I know you're behind this, who else could have orchestrated all of this, had the patience?" I asked.
Celestia looked down. "I'm, if I tell the truth. Will you say anything?"
"It depends on if I like the answer." I said.
"I had always tried looking for the next bearers of the elements, I knew that the bearers would be in a group of six and that the element of magic would be exceptionally gifted in magic, so I helped set up the school to help look for the element of magic." Celestia admitted, "When I found the potential bearer in Sunset, I was so overjoyed that I was blinded and saw that I was spoiling her."
"Maybe, you shouldn't raise children that aren't yours." I said, "Maybe, you should stop tearing them away from their parents."
"My personal proteges stopped after Twilight." Celestia said.
"Well, lesson fucking learned, am I right?" I said.
"Are we finished?" Celestia asked.
"We answered the girls questions, now we answer mine." I said, "Do you know why I'm here?"
"No I don't." Celestia took off her crown.
"Do you know about my world? Humans?"
"Yes, but we can't access earth." Celestia said.
"Now, why did you want me to become a breeder?" I asked. "You knew of humans, of our world, how technologically advanced we are. Did you want me to get out of the way? Do you think that I would, what? Take your throne? Tell me."
"Humans are apex predators, they are cunning, you have taken a world and turned it into a technological marvel. I signed a treaty, I couldn't use you to my advantage." Celestia admitted. "Because of...personal feelings."
Now this time I was the one on the receiving end of things. "Personal feelings."
"We can't access earth, but I did observe them. I watched them grow, fight, learn, discover, push the boundaries of what was possible all the time and I fell in love with them." Celestia admitted, "When a human arrived at my doorstep, a soldier, a warrior. It was all I could ever want, I wanted to make you a breeder. To keep you to myself."
"That's very selfish of you, also I'm a marine not a soldier there's a big difference." I said.
"Aren't I entitled to be a little selfish!? I had to put my sister on the moon! I had to watch as ponies and friends I love DIE! While I lived on!" Celestia screeched.
"You lost that entitlement when you had 6 untrained ponies do your work for you. You lost it all when you tore children away from their families on a whim, you're a leader of a country. LEAD it, you're not entitled to anything as soon as you took the reins of this country alongside your sister and tried to build it up. Far as I'm concerned, you don't deserve anything you're given. STOP PLAYING GAMES WITH PEOPLE!"
"If I told them the truth then they would never understand!" Celestia cried, "I did what I had to."
"AND HOW MANY LIVES DID IT RUIN!? HUH? YOU EVER THINK ABOUT CONSEQUENCES WHEN YOU DO SOMETHING!?" I shouted, "Because I do."
"Like you know anything about consequences." Celestia mumbled, yet I heard it.
"I'm going to give you a little peek into my history so, you better listen closely. Iraq, 2009 I was in charge of a simple patrol, everything going smoothly when all of a sudden an Al Qaeda convoy rolls around turns out, they had scouted this place for potential recruits. You know of the Al Qaeda right?" I asked her.
"I do." Celestia nodded.
"Well, I see the trucks coming in from a distance. They fire the first shot, that shot is a rocket propelled grenade that fires straight into the first patrol vehicle, turning 5 people charred corpses inside of a burnt metal shell, 5 people with mothers and fathers, some even had siblings. Do you want to know why they had died? Because, I decided that we were going to take a right instead of a left to get back to base, the reason being I knew a shortcut. Somehow, by the grace of god the rest of us killed the recruiters. Do you know their names? I do, Ryans, Hyde, Evan, Daniels, and Harrison." I listed off their names as I held up five fingers. "Three months later, I get back home and there's a big celebration in my hometown. Some of us never came back, some of us left pieces of ourselves in that desert, and others like me, lost family in there. Don't you even dare get all high and mighty, when you've never seen the consequences of your actions kill people you love." I stood up from my chair, "You've seen people live long, happy and fulfilling lives. I've seen them been cut short for little to no reason whatsoever. I can bet you your entire kingdom, that you've never had to kill a child."
I looked at the mirror, but I already knew the reactions of the girls behind that two-way mirror. Shock, horror, Fluttershy may even be crying, hell I'd bet my life on it. I just hung my head and looked at one of the leaders of Equestria. She was crying, after telling her my story well, part of it anyways. It was to be expected, no soldier leaves a war the same way they go into it, some adjust to life after war, some leave a piece of themselves behind, me however? I carry my burdens with me, I know some things weren't my fault but I still carry them with me.
"I'm so sorry." Celestia finally choked out of her tears.
"There's a difference between you and I, you're tens of thousands of years old and still know so little, I'm only 25 and know a lot about what happens to a person when they play devil's advocate for so long. I requested this meeting, not only for the truth but to stop you, because sooner or later, the pieces were going to fall apart. You'd have no elements of harmony to save you, no magic in the world to protect you. You'd just have yourself amidst the chaos of the world you tried to make perfect." I said while looking at the two-way mirror.
"How do you know that?" Celestia asked.
"Because, it could have been me. I could've shaken your world to it's very core and have you leave everything you've ever known in shambles." I stated.
"Why didn't you?"
"I didn't want to get into another fucking war." I stated, "There are a lot of things we need to talk about, not all of them will be today. Because, as far as we're concerned. We're done. Discord!"
With that simple name being yelled to the heavens there was the sound of a snap and then we were back in Equestria, like we hadn't even left. In fact, I think it was the same second we left, as if Discord snapped his talons and there was a sudden understanding between the human, the princess, and the element bearers. Celestia wiped her eyes and left the same way she came, but not the same ruler that she once was. No more games, no more lies nor secrets. Just the truth, that's all I could ever ask for.
Author's Note
Comments! They feed me!
Journal Entry #11 (Edited)
The confrontation between Celestia and I made a few waves in the media, after all you don't see the princess of the sun walking into the Everfree forest every day. It was now time for me to start living normally, instead of in paranoia. Twilight moved my cabin to the edge of the woods and I applied for dual citizenship. I'm not going to give up being an American, I fought for my country and the ponies had to respect that. I played with lucky, my lighter and was just staring off into a field. Thinking about what had happened, it was a start. I continued thinking about what my place was in this world. I am the first, and quite possibly the last human in Equestria.
You know, when I was in the military there were bomb sniffing dogs. I loved to play with those dogs, that made me think... I wanted a dog now. What kind of dog would I get? I loved the Siberian husky but I don't think that they would have that breed of dog here. I got up and looked at Fluttershy's house, it was off in the distance but I could still see it if I squint. I'm a little lonely at home, I want a dog. I turned to go back inside to grab my coat, getting ready to go to Fluttershy's when I heard a big woosh of air and my hair blew forward into my face.
I already knew who it was, "Hey Rainbow."
"How did you know it was me?" She asked.
"With wings that powerful, there's very little in Ponyville that can make the air around them distort when they land." I pointed out.
"Okay." Rainbow walked onto my porch.
"So what are you doing here?" I questioned her as I turned around.
"I was bored, everypony else is busy. I know you still got time off for letting Big Mac stay in your cabin," Rainbow said. "So what are you doing?"
"I was about to go to Fluttershy's, I'm thinking of getting a dog." I leaned against my door jamb.
"Why would you want a dog?" Rainbow asked, "Are we not enough?"
"It's nothing against you girls, it's just there's a place in a person's heart that only a pet can fill. There's something about the outside of an animal that's good for the inside of a man."
"Wow, that's very deep." Rainbow commented.
"I'm paraphrasing Winston Churchill." I said as I grabbed my coat.
"What?" She asked.
"More like who, I'll explain later. I want to see Fluttershy." I locked up my cabin.
"About that...she's not here." Rainbow explained, "She went out of town yesterday for her Veterinarian classes."
"Then who's watching her place?" I asked.
"Tree Hugger." Rainbow answered.
"Oh, yeah...her." I sighed.
"Is there a problem?" She asked.
"I told her about me being a marine and she went on a rant about me selling my soul or some shit like that. I don't even fucking remember what it was." I slanted my mouth, "Since then she and I haven't seen each other. I prefer to stay as far away from her as possible."
"So, if Fluttershy is out of town and you don't want to talk to Tree Hugger, what are you going to do?" Rainbow asked.
"Go to the library, read a book." I said.
"That's boring." Rainbow replied.
"So says the mare oh so obsessed with Daring Do, who is a blatant knock off of Indiana Jones." I said, we've had this argument before. I told her that Indiana Jones came out in 1981, and she still didn't believe me, then I told her the plot of Raiders of the lost Ark and she sort of believed me. There's no convincing the ponies, that just makes me wonder, was Daring Do made specifically to be a spoof of Indiana Jones? If so, what else is out there just to be a spoof of human pop culture? It's something to look into, but maybe later.
"Come on, all you've ever done is stay in your house or go to work. Now you have some time off, I say we go on an adventure. When Fluttershy comes back, then we can get you a dog."
I rolled my eyes but then looked at her. "What do you suggest we do, the oh so mighty Rainbow Dash?" I sarcastically replied.
"We could go to Cloudsdale." She suggested, "See the weather factory."
"I can't walk on clouds, I'd fall to my death." I shot that idea down.
"We can go to the Wonderbolts Academy!" She excitedly said.
"Let me reiterate the fact that, if I were to attempt to walk on a cloud, I would fall straight through it at about 120 miles per hour and die." I put sternly, "Is there ANYTHING that you can suggest I could do with you, that keeps me from falling to my death?"
"Heh, sorry." Rainbow scratched the back of her head, "I'm just so bored and everypony else is so busy!"
"You want to know what would cure that?" I asked.
"What?"
"Reading a fucking book!" I practically yelled.
"Jeez, I'm sorry. I've just read Daring Do so much that I've pretty much memorized it by now." Rainbow looked down.
"Have you tried reading other books?" I asked her.
"No, that's something an egghead would do!" Rainbow crossed her arms, "I'm Rainbow Danger Dash! I'm not an egghead!"
"Yeah, you're right, you're an airhead." I said.
"Yeah......HEY!" She got upset and I laughed.
"I don't know why you care so much about maintaining your image, you're like Rarity without all the prissiness. If you hate reading so much, then people will think you hate it because you can't do it."
"It's not that I can't read! I just have trouble doing it." Rainbow said.
"Trouble?" I asked her.
"Some letters become numbers, and other letters are backwards when I try to read. I have to read them one word at a time in order to really get a good grasp."
"So, you're dyslexic?" I asked.
"Is that what it's called?" She asked.
"Yeah, it is. How come you've never told anyone?" I asked.
"Anypony." Rainbow tried correcting me but I wasn't having it. The look on my face could already tell her that. "It's embarrassing, I'm an element of harmony. How would ponies feel if I didn't know how to read?"
"First off, many people are dyslexic and anyone who would insult you is either a fucking moron, or has the maturity of a baby." I pointed out, "We have also established the fact that, while you may be an element of harmony. It was reckless of your ruler to constantly throw you and the other girls into constant danger without any context to the situation." I crossed my arms.
"Okay, so is there anything anypony can do to help me?" Rainbow asked.
"The only person who can help you, is you. There are many tips and advice for those who have dyslexia, but the best way to figure this out is on your own. If what you're doing right now is what works, then why try to fix it if it's not broken?" I told her whilst leaning upon my door jamb like a proper gentleman. "Like it or not, you're on your own but, you're used to that already aren't you?"
"Yeah, I am." Rainbow admitted.
"Now I could stay here and play porch psychotherapist all damn day long, but then I'd have to start charging you. Besides that, A: I don't have a degree to do so, and B: I've got my own fucking problems to deal with. I don't want to be driven insane by the burdens of others."
"What do I do?" She asked.
"Own it, we've all got our own burdens in life. While sharing it with others makes it a little easier, ultimately it's yours." I told her.
"What if it's hard?" Rainbow squeaked out.
"I don't know why all of a sudden you're acting like Fluttershy, but I'll break this down for you Mickey Young style. Nothing in life comes easy, you want something? You get off your ass and you work for it. Now it's time to put in the work." I sighed as I grabbed the library books that I had already and locked my door.
I walked down the path that I had made onto the path away from Fluttershy's house. Rainbow followed behind me, "That was inspiring Mickey, maybe you should be a motivational speaker."
"Fuck motivational speaking, if you need motivation, maybe you need to be smashed 30 or 40 times in the head with a golf club. That'll fucking motivate ya, or at least get the day rolling, locate your socks, shit like that." I replied.
"What about self-help books?" She asked as we walked, well it was more like. I walked, and she hovered behind me.
"Self-help books are bullshit. If you're looking for self-help, why are you reading a book written by somebody else? That's not self-help, that's help. If you did it yourself, you didn't need help." I answered.
"That's enlightening." Rainbow said.
"That's not 100% me though." I said. "It was just someone I agreed with."
"Who?" She asked.
"Great man by the name of George Carlin, he was Mr. Conductor. He knew what the fuck he was talking about." I said.
"Was?" Rainbow inquired.
"He passed away in 2008, his humor wasn't for children." I pointed out.
"Yeah I can tell." Rainbow said as she landed when we arrived in front of the crystal tree, which I thought was over pretentious bullshit. You don't need a huge fucking castle to validate your importance, but what do I know? Most deals do happen in boardrooms than in diplomatic meetings. I walked in and turned in my books, and looked through the selection. I picked out a few history books, some fantasy. I was looking down at the books and just thinking about how it would be if I wrote my own book? It wouldn't be interesting, anyways I picked out my books and checked them out. Rainbow followed me back home and I put the books on my table, I strummed my fingers up and down the spines of the stacked books until I finished on the fourth book. I slid the book smoothly out of the stack and went into my recliner and sat down in it. I got a few pages in before Rainbow piped up again, "It's kinda cramped in here."
"I didn't make it for ponies in mind, I didn't even think I would have ponies here so constantly." I said without looking up from my book.
"That makes sense." Rainbow sighed, "So that guy you were talking about earlier. What was he like?"
"Which one, Winston Churchill or George Carlin?" I inquired.
"That George person." Rainbow said.
"He saw the world as it was, it was fucked up and degenerate. Best thing was, he called the world out on it's bullshit." I said.
"Cool." Rainbow nodded then looked outside and spread herself out. "I feel so restless." She looked back at me, "You're a soldier, right?"
"If my physique or attitude didn't already tell you that, then what did? I'm a marine, not a soldier there's a big difference." I remarked sarcastically, "I've reiterated this fact millions of times throughout my stay here in Equestria." I finished without looking up from my book.
"So, do you know how to fight?" She asked.
"I've rarely had to use my combat skills since I've been here, the only times I've used it was in diffusal situations." I turned a page.
"Huh?"
"Bar fights, some drunk motherfucker decided to start something that didn't needed to be started, so I threw him out on his ass." I started to scan the other page, "The bar owner offered me a job, I turned it down for a free bar tab for about 3 months."
"Wow, well I'm actually a blackbelt in karate. Do you want to spar?" She asked.
That actually made me look up from my book, I hadn't actually got into a fight with a person in a long time. There were a lot of ways I had to compensate for amazonian ponies who could tower over me on a good day. I could never really go all out, somehow they always seem to... I don't know get a little weak in the knees whenever I got serious. It could be instinct taking over, the human is the apex predator after all, and like it or not the pony is a prey animal.
That's probably it, best working theory I've got anyways, back to the thought of sparring. My muscles could use some warming up, hadn't used them in a long while, I should probably invest in a punching bag or go to the gym. "Let's do it." I said while getting up.
Rainbow looked up at me, "What?"
I stretched my arms and legs, "Let's spar. I can read later, I want to get back into fighting."
"Were you a fighter?" She asked.
"I boxed in college before I joined the corps." I opened the door, "Well, what are you waiting for?"
Rainbow was outside the door in a blur, I soon joined her outside. I took off my jacket and laid it across the railing of my porch. I cracked my knuckles and neck. Rainbow had a laser focus on me, we were about 5 feet away from each other. I was still stretching out my muscles, remember motherfuckers warming up is important.
I was ready now but then I pointed behind Rainbow. "What the fuck is that?"
Rainbow looked confused, she turned to look at what I was pointing at and I swooped in and launched a forearm right into her jaw while putting my leg behind her own to put her off balance. I threw her a few good feet, which was strange. It looked like she was actually hurt, I stopped and asked her, "Are you alright?" I helped her up.
"Yeah, I'm fine that was just unexpected." She answered.
"Okay then," I still had her arm and took her down with a judo throw. I then put her in an armbar and extended her arm, "First rule of fighting." I said.
"Never let your guard down." Rainbow answered and I extended her arm again.
"Never let your opponent distract you. Second rule."
"Don't fight dirty." She answered again and I ratcheted up the pain.
"You fight to survive, if you have to fight dirty. Do it, because the only thing that stopping your attacker from killing you, is you." I released her arm and rolled back. I crouched, lowering my center of gravity.
Rainbow stretched her wings out and started to hover she dove at me and I rolled out of the way. She was fast, but I've been under fire from the Taliban before. I had to be faster than a bullet, luckily that training never left me. It was instinctual at this point, she went in for another dive and I rolled out of the way jumped up and landed on her back. The movement was so sudden that her wings locked up and we went tumbling to the ground. Rainbow being experienced in crashing tucked and rolled, onto her back. Which I was currently on, but I'm a marine that take a licking. The crash was no problem, I wrapped my arms around her throat in a sleeper hold and got one leg around her wing and the other wrapped around her torso.
Rainbow growled in frustration, "How are you so good?"
"Because a marine is taught to kill, I've fought for my life many many times. Sometimes without a weapon, now tell me. What is the best way to disable a unicorn?"
"Go for the horn, duh." Rainbow answered and I loosened the grip of my leg around her wing.
"Pegasus?"
"Disable the wings." Rainbow said, "If they can't take to the skies, then the fight isn't in their favor."
"What about earth ponies?"
"I actually don't know." She admitted and I tightened my grip on her wing.
"Go for the legs, all that power has nowhere to go without a base." I told her, "Now, what about an alicorn?"
"I don't know that either." Rainbow said, so I tightened my grip on her throat, then she started to tap out. "Alright, I give!"
I let her go, she sat down in front of me and I sat up. "Good way to disable most creatures is to cut off their flow of oxygen. They can't breathe, then they blackout, and if held long enough. They die, pegasai can last a little longer than most because they're used to working in higher altitudes and need less oxygen but it is one of the most important things your body needs."
"Wow, can you train me to do that?" She asked.
"If I trained you, you would hate me." I answered, "I wouldn't hold anything back and I would break you, you wouldn't recover."
"Why?" Rainbow asked.
"The way a marine is trained, is very special. They call it 13 weeks of hell, they call you every name in the motherfucking book and then throw that book at you and make you read it while come up with more shit to call you off the top of their head. Then they start training you, to become a ruthless killing machine, that will turn you into confetti the moment they think you're an enemy." I said, "You are pushed the the breaking point physically, mentally, and emotionally. Once you graduate however, you have the honor and distinction of calling yourself a marine. Forever."
"Forever?"
"Once a marine, always a marine." I said. "When I pass on, I want that written on a tombstone."
"You want to be buried?" Rainbow asked.
"Oh fuck no, I want to be cremated. I just want a memorial in my honor." I said. "First and, potentially only human here. I want a fucking legacy, who knows how long I've got here?" I said, "Why don't you run on home? It's getting late."
"Actually, the girls and I are having our monthly sleepover, would you like to tag along?" Rainbow asked.
"Was that your original plan today?" I asked.
"Well, sort of. We talked about it a week ago, and Fluttershy said she was going out of town that day, so she suggested you to take her place."
"I'll think about it. If I show up, then I will if I don't, I won't. Just don't expect any miracles." I said as she got up and left, I watched as she purposely walked away with her hips swaying and her tail following, she looked back at me and winked, then took off. I smiled as I watched.
Journal Entry #12 (Edited)
I sat there thinking about what Rainbow had said, I did want to do my best in trying to socialize once again. I spent upwards of 3 years in the forest, by myself. I really hope I just haven't gone insane and imagined all of this. The girls are having their sleepover and have invited me, I don't have a sleeping bag. I don't want to share with anyone, I could just bring a blanket and sleep on the floor. I really don't have anything else to do besides read, and then make more carvings of random bullshit. I still got a few days off and the only thing I'm doing is sitting around reading. I worked my jaw back side to side as I mulled it over. I could use a night of fun, I wonder if there's going to be any alcohol? I guess there's only one way to find out.
I grabbed a bag I hadn't used in about a year or so, I used to bring it with me to work. When I took breaks, I brought water as well but mainly it was just things to fuck around with when I wasn't busy, things like a book I was in the middle of reading, or a knife and a block of wood to make a new carving. I didn't get out much. I had emptied it a long while back when I became a bit more reclusive. Now I was going to use it for something, a little bit more fun. I put some clothing in it, toothbrush, toothpaste, and my memory foam pillow. I have problems with my neck sue me, actually don't. I don't have any fucking money, I built the things I have the rest, were given to me.
With my bag packed and spare blanket tucked under my arm I decided to leave my house, I locked it up and departed towards the castle, you know come to find out. I never got a location, why am I just assuming that it's Twilight's castle? Because it's the biggest, well I wouldn't have been invited if it were in Rainbow's house. I'd literally die, Pinkie lives with the cakes and the babies would be woken up, plus her room is too small for anyone to sleepover besides one or two people. The farm is a possibility, but I'd doubt they'd have it there because of the crusaders, adults gonna adult. Rarity's is too messy, or chaotically organized as she likes to refer to it as. Personally, it's more chaotic than Discord's house, and yes I have been to his house. I didn't even know a toilet could be inside out, the most logical place would be at Twilight's, and since Fluttershy is out of town it won't be at her house.
I walked up to the castle and knocked on the giant crystal door, have I mentioned how much I hate the vanity of this place? Twilight and the girls told me it came from a treasure chest that also gave them magical transforming powers while defeating a centaur, if it hadn't been for the newspapers. I would've thought they were on Shrooms while Celestia just made it for her star student. The door opened up and I was just staring at the castle with my usual face of contempt.
Twilight had opened the door, "Mickey? You're here?"
I grunted while I looked at Twilight, "Oh yeah, I am."
"I'm genuinely surprised, I never expected you to come." She commented.
"I did want to try to be more social. I figure this is a good first step, is there any booze?" I asked.
"Yes, there is. Why?" Twilight answered and questioned when I passed her going into the castle.
"If I'm doing any type of party game or any bullshit like that, I'm going to have a drink in my hand." I explained.
"Is that the only way that you're going to be sticking around?" Twilight asked.
"Pretty much, I ain't ready to bang and I'm not going to be making any groundbreaking resolutions so this is what you're stuck with." I said.
"You're very blunt about your intentions."
"Saves the world for a little more bullshit somewhere else." I said, "Maybe it will be reserved for you and the next villain that's also a synonym for your name."
"Fuck you." Twilight said.
"Sunset Shimmer, Bellatrix Lulamoon, Twilight Sparkle." I pointed out, "You should cut back on the booze as well, it gives you self confidence. I like shy, nerdy, Twiwhite." I walked to where I heard the chattering of multiple voices I knew very well. They soon stopped as I walked into the room, I looked at the girls and Spike. "Please don't let me stop you."
"You're really here? Or did I drink too much?" Rarity asked.
"Rarity, you only had 2 glasses of wine." Spike pointed out.
"It was a strong wine." Rarity countered.
"No, you're just a lightweight." Pinkie said jovially.
Rarity crossed her arms and turned away, only to be comforted by Spike. "Thank you Spikey."
"So you two finally hooking up?" I asked Rarity and Spike.
"After a long discussion with Twilight, and well Princess Celestia, we have decided that we don't care what ponies or dragons think. We're in love and we shouldn't be ashamed of it." Rarity said.
"I couldn't agree more." Spike smiled and kissed Rarity's cheek.
I looked at Pinkie, Applejack, and Rainbow. "Alright, pay up."
Spike and Rarity were shocked. "What exactly do you mean?"
"We had a little betting pool going, just to see how you two would finally end up. AJ said that you would break his heart, Rainbow said that it would never happen because of the gossip and you would avoid ruining your career, and Pinkie said you would give him a pity fuck. I was the only one who pegged you two to start dating." I explained, "I just won the bet."
Pinkie, Aj, and Rainbow tossed me a bag of bits each. I looked inside and all the money was there so I tossed two to both Spike and Rarity and then kept the last one. "Here, that's to save me from being burnt to a crisp or knitted into a straightjacket."
Spike and Rarity caught the bit bags and then looked to the other three girls. Rarity looked to Spike, "Spikey-poo?"
"Yes darling?" Spike turned one of Rarity's commonly used phrases onto her.
"Pillow." Rarity held out her hand which held an empty wine glass.
Spike gently took it into his claws and replaced it with a pillow. "Would the lady like to have her dragon join her?"
"You bet your sweet scaly ass I would." Rarity said as she jumped up and started to chase after Pinkie and AJ with a pillow, while Spike took to the skies after Rainbow with a pillow of his own. "How dare you bet on our love lives!" Rarity screeched as she assaulted Pinkie and AJ with the fluffy head cushion.
Knowing I was spared from the onslaught that was the pillow fight, I got up and joined Twilight in her kitchen. "What's up Twiknight?" I asked her as I was pouring myself a rum and coke, or cola as it said on the bottle.
"Nothing, just having a snack." She said while I looked at her, she was eating an entire pizza.
"Snack? That's a pizza, I can hardly wolf those down on a good day." I said, "What are you, pregnant?"
"No, it's my new metabolism. I have to eat an entire buffet to feel full, it sucks." Twilight said.
"Have you ever thought of shrinking yourself down and just eating one meal while really tiny?" I asked, "I bet it will save you money."
"I-I never thought of that, how come ponies aren't as creative as you?" Twilight asked.
"Some are but they're probably ostracized for it," I sipped my drink. "Humans became apex predators because we learned how to kill each other the fastest ways possible. Many times it was necessary, and necessity is the mother of invention. Though we did have many, MANY failures, and there were several dicks along the way that took credit for shit that they didn't make."
"Wow." Twilight scratched her head.
"You've had a peek into the human world, you've seen what humans can do with the right motivation. Though, some people are TOO motivated, you show me a guy sitting around stroking his penis all day and I'll show you someone who isn't causing any trouble." I said.
Twilight laughed at that. "Okay that was funny, you should be a comedian."
"Nah, I'd just steal material from my world and somehow I think that they would still find out." I said and went back into the living room where there stood Spike and Rarity victorious over their three opponents.
Rarity wiped the sweat from her brow, "Ugh, I may need to shower before I head to bed." She then turned to look at me, "Oh, Michael do you have a second?"
"I had one, now it's gone." I said, "Time is a funny thing, everything is either the near future or the recent past."
"What about the present?" Spike asked.
"I'm glad you asked, welcome to the present." I then made an upset face, "Welcome once again to the present, and now the all new."
That got a few chuckles out of Spike. "That's pretty funny, I didn't know you liked to make jokes."
"I just rip off material from my favorite comedians." I turned back to Rarity, "What is it you would like to ask?"
"Before a joke was made about my phrasing, I was going to ask. I have a fashion show up in Canterlot in a few days, and Spike won't be able to make it. I would feel much safer if there were a friend beside me, and since I know you would like to be a bit more social. I was wondering if you would like to come along?" She asked.
I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose, I then thought about it for a bit. "I'm not wearing a suit, and if anyone talks down to me. I reserve the right to fire back with swears and sass."
"I understand the latter but, please a suit? I'll make a custom one for you." Rarity pouted.
"Business casual and that's final." I countered.
"Fine, I know there's no budging a soldier once he gets set in his ways." She sighed.
"Oh there are ways to convince a soldier to do what you want, but not in any way that you or Spike would like." I smirked at laid out my blanket and pillow, "But, I'm not a soldier, I'm a marine. There's a big difference."
Pinkie finally recovering from the pillow mugging, looked at my poor conditions of sleeping arrangements and asked. "You don't have a sleeping bag?"
"Does it look like I go to a lot of sleepovers?" I retorted.
"No, but what about camping under the stars?" She asked.
"Oh, I did that once on earth. However, I slept with a knife under my pillow and a gun in my hand."
"You never really explained what a gun is." Rainbow pointed out.
"It's like a miniaturized cannon that you hold in your hands and can reload quickly." I said, "It's made of metal and can deal out death quicker than a card jockey at a blackjack table."
"Wow, d-do you have one?" Applejack asked.
I grimaced at that question, "I'm not going to confirm or deny that, I don't wish to be an threat or enemy to the country."
"So, we're just shrouded in mystery?" Twilight asked as she came from the kitchen.
"If a changeling, came in here and admitted to you, one of the rulers of the country that it had a weapon that could kill ponies instantly what would you do?"
"Lock it up." Twilight answered and then it dawned on her. "Ohh."
"I don't want to spend the rest of my life here sitting in a damp, cold dungeon." I raised my hand and my glass.
"I don't blame you." AJ said, "So now that the pillow maulin' is out of the way, how about we go with a nice ol' fashioned game of truth or dare?"
"Pass." I said.
"Aww, is sompony chicken?" Rainbow mocked.
"Says the person who I beat earlier today." I countered and she quieted down, "It's not that I don't want to play but I feel that you girls would try to pry too much into my past that I'm not ready to disclose quite yet."
"That's fair, then we'll stick with only recent things." Twilight said looking around the room and everyone agreed.
"Alright, fine. I'll play, but only recent things." I agreed and the game started when Spike put an empty wine bottle on the ground and spun it, it landed on Pinkie, then Spike spun it again and it landed on Rainbow.
"Dashie, truth or dare?"
"Pfft, dare obviously." Dash smirked.
"I dare you to take your top off!" Pinkie giggled.
"Pinkie! What about Spike?" Twilight pointed out.
"We're all friends here, besides I know who Spikey is loyal to." Rarity cupped Spike's cheeks in her hand, "I think it's alright to show a little fur."
"But, I uh. I don't have on a bra..." Rainbow scratched the back of her neck.
"So? I don't have on any underwear." Pinkie said, "Take it off!"
I looked at Pinkie, "You don't have any underwear on?"
"Pinkie doesn't own any, no bras or panties. She lived a simplistic lifestyle before moving to Ponyville it's a miracle that her sister Maud had a dress on when she visited." Rarity explained, "After the 12th time Pinkie got arrested for public indecency she learned that she should wear some clothes. She foregoes underwear though."
"Ugh, fine." Rainbow said, she reached at her shirt hem and pulled it off, revealing her cyan 28C breasts. "There, the shirt's off." Rainbow spun the bottle, it landed on Twilight. Rainbow smirked, Twilight gulped. "Twilight...truth or dare?"
"Um...Truth?" Twilight chose.
"What age were you when you first touched yourself?" Rainbow asked and I thought this was getting interesting.
"I was...16." Twilight admitted. "I had just learned about having healthy sex and well...I decided to explore." Twilight said as she got redder and redder. "Now it's my turn." Twilight grabbed the bottle and spun it. The bottle landed on me, "Mickey, truth or dare?"
"Hmm.....Truth." I decided.
"Why live in the everfree forest?" Twilight asked.
"Yeah, I've been wondering about that for awhile." Rainbow said.
"Well, besides the privacy from ponies. It was the closest I could get to home, what you believe to be nature is wrong. Nature in itself is a wild, unpredictable beast that is nearly untameable. I say nearly because both humans and ponies have found ways to conquer it, but the crazy, chaotic nature of the forest is what brought me closest to home at the time."
"So wait, we conquered nature?" Rainbow asked.
"If there were no interference from ponies, plants would grow on their own, animals would take care of themselves, and the weather would change on it's own with no pattern." I said, "I know this because, it's normal for earth."
"Whoa." Twilight said.
I smiled and spun the bottle with my foot. It landed on Applejack, "AJ, truth or dare?"
"Dare." Applejack smiled.
"I dare you to motorboat Rainbow." I said and she looked confused so I explained to her how to do it.
Rainbow got red and Applejack got redder than her namesake, slowly AJ crawled over to Rainbow, "Sorry Dash I have to do it..."
"Just do it already." Rainbow said, Applejack grabbed Rainbow's boobs and started to motorboat her. What I didn't realize is, Rainbow is ticklish. So she started to laugh as Applejack was motorboating her. They eventually stopped as AJ ran out of breath, and Rainbow was struggling to breathe.
AJ took the bottle and spun it, and the bottle seemed to have wanted revenge so it landed on me, AJ grinned. "Mickey, truth or dare?"
"I'm gonna regret this, dare." I looked at her.
"I dare you to sing us a song, from your world." AJ smiled.
"Oh? I thought you would have gone with something more sadistic." I looked around, "Anyone got an acoustic guitar?"
Twilight conjured one. "Here you go." She handed it to me, I tuned it up.
I then paused, "Alright, I got a song."
The girls were in awe of my performance, "Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers, the song is I won't back down." I gave the guitar back to Twilight and spun the bottle again. It landed on Rarity this time. "Rarity, truth or dare?"
"Hmm, dare." Rarity said as she poured another glass of wine.
"I dare you to switch clothes with Applejack, hat included." I smiled and sipped my drink.
Rarity sighed and got up along with AJ and they went into the other room, I reached over while Rainbow was distracted and honked her bare tit. She got red and slapped my hand, "Asshole." She crossed her arms.
"A, I'm your boyfriend and B, I get handsy when I'm drunk." I explained.
"You're a lightweight." Rainbow said.
"No, I'm just an asshole, plus you looked like you were cold." I chuckled.
"Your nipples are so hard they look like they can cut through crystal." Pinkie said.
"I like the attention, especially from Mickey." Rainbow blushed, "This isn't how I'd imagine I would be showing our boyfriend my body."
"Eh, not everything turns out the way we would hope." I said, just as I said that AJ came out in Rarity's white and blue dress, it came down to the middle of her thighs and it looked like her breasts were about to spill out of it.
Rarity on the other hand, looked like she was in Dukes of Hazzard, with the tied up flannel shirt and the daisy dukes cutoff jeans, the hat topped it all off however. "I will never understand how you can show so much skin Applejack."
"This dress is so tight!" Applejack complained, "I can't breathe in it."
"Now we know why you both wear what you wear." I pointed out.
Rarity spun the bottle and it landed on me, "Finally, a little revenge. Mickey, truth or dare?"
I slammed the rest of my drink, "Dare me Rarity."
"I dare you to take of your shirt." Rarity said.
"I'll do you one better." I got up, jumped around a little and then grabbed the middle of my shirt and just like Hulk Hogan I ripped the thing in half while revealing my sculpted abs and envious worthy pectorals. I finished ripping off the shirt and threw the remaining pieces at Rarity. "Fix that seamstress."
Rarity looked mortified but she also blushed when looking at my well toned body, "H-How are you this built?"
"Once a year I work out, day after day, for 13 weeks. I'd be bigger but my metabolism is through the roof." I said, and Rainbow looked up.
"You never told us you had a cutie mark!" Pinkie said.
"I explained this to Fluttershy, it's not a cutie mark. It's a tattoo, it's on my shoulder and arm, not my asscheeks." I explained, I then told them what a tattoo was because I didn't want to go through explaining it again.
"So you wanted that?" Twilight poked it, "Does it hurt?"
"It did for about a week or two when I got it, but not anymore." I said and Twilight started to feel up my arm.
"Do you have any more?" Applejack asked.
"I do, but it's a special one. You can only see it under the right light." I said.
"Where is it?" Pinkie asked.
"Right over my heart. It's the motto of the Marine Corps, Semper Fi." I said, "Semper Fidelis, or always faithful in latin."
"Interesting. Why have that one not visible?"" Twilight asked.
"Because you may not see it, but it will always be there, just like my brothers in arms. They'll always have my back, no matter what I go through." I smiled and sat down, I spun the bottle.
Twilight stopped it. "I think that's enough for tonight. Why don't we get ready for bed?" Twilight suggested and I couldn't argue with her.
I got up and grabbed my clothes, while heading to the bathroom. Now was as good as time as any to take a shower. I got the water started and it started to drip and drop all over me, I breathed a sigh of relief as the moderately hot water relaxed my muscles and wet my hair. I grabbed the shampoo and washed my hair and my body, the hot water lulled me into a deeper sense of drowsiness, the water almost got me in the grips of sleep, almost. I turned off the knobs and stepped out, drying myself off and dressing in my pajamas, I went back to my spot on the floor and lay down. I closed my eyes and soon the hand of the sandman brought me to slumber.
Journal Entry #13 (Edited)
I did as Rarity asked and I showed up at her place after the sleepover. I knocked on the door and waited, I brought a bag with me full of my clothes. I did some research on this place and it was going to be going on for a weekend so I brought some clothes and sleepwear with me. I sighed and leaned against the wall next to the door. It soon opened up and Rarity looked around and saw me, she jumped a bit. "Oh, Michael you gave me a start."
"Are you ready to go?" I asked plainly.
"Almost, I've got my summer line ready to go." Rarity brought out some, and by some I mean a lot of suitcases. "Be a dear and carry those for me."
"Fuck no, and fuck you. I'm leaving." I picked up my bag and started to walk off.
Rarity stopped at the obscene language and watched me walk off, "Michael, Mickey wait!"
I stopped and turned towards her, "What?"
"Please?" She asked and I turned again. "Okay, fine I won't make you carry them!" Rarity picked them up with her magic and walked to catch up with me, not before locking up her shop. Rarity and I walked to the train station, "So..."
"Yeah?" I looked at her.
"Do you still have that thing behind your house?" Rarity asked.
"The car? Yeah, but I don't have any parts to fix it. So I just stare at it and reminisce." I said as I sat on a bench after purchasing my ticket. I don't bring this up a lot but I have to use a lot of childrens sized things in Equestria. So I have to lean up and give my money then take my ticket, damn these people are tall.
"What do you reminisce about?" She asked.
"It's a 1970 dodge charger, it's a muscle car so back then it was affordable and fast." I said, "It was before I was born so I don't know much about it. Hell, I don't even know if the engine works."
"Hmm, so it's older than you?" She asked.
"By about 20 years, I was born in 1990, came here in 2015 by my calendar, it's been three years since I've been here so it's 2018." I commented.
"That's cool, I guess." Rarity said as the train arrived and I got on it with her. I sat next to her and she took out some knitting needles and started to knit something. I cracked open a book and started to read it, Rarity was humming and we spent most of the time on the train reading and knitting, I asked her if she could show me but I really just fumbled through it and couldn't get the hang of it. I still tried my best, but the only thing I could do is sew. Rarity smiled though, "So are you interested in fashion?"
"Eh, not really. I prefer practical over fashionable. But since you're my friend, I'll go for you." I said as I turned a page in my book, "Like I said at the sleepover, I reserve the right to be sassy and swear."
"Fair enough but when we get to our hotel room I get to make you some business casual clothes." Rarity pulled out a notebook and flipped through some pages. I keep forgetting that she's a very talented artist as well. "I was thinking maybe a white dress shirt and some black slacks with a purple vest."
"How purple are we talking? Lilac or Royal purple? Because I could do with some royal purple." I said, "Also no slacks, I'm going to be wearing jeans."
"Hmm, fine we can do that." Rarity agreed.
The intercom came on, "Next stop, Canterlot Station." It announced and repeated loud enough to catch the attention of the passengers.
"Well, we should be getting our stuff then." Rarity said and I grabbed my carry on bag and put it on my back. She noted my struggle to get my bag but eventually I got it. "You are really at a disadvantage with this world aren't you?"
"Hence why I built a house for myself." I said as I grabbed my bag, "It was another reason why I didn't get out much."
"I'm sure Twilight could craft a spell for you to adjust your size." Rarity said.
"Eh, I'll consider it." I said, I really will because I'm tired of having to jump onto things. I'd be taller, and it would be cool. "It's also one of the reasons why I was willing to just walk away."
"From today?" Rarity asked.
"Rarity, your suitcases could have crushed my spine if I carried all of them." I pointed out, "You girls average at least 3 feet taller than me, and your items weigh a lot more."
Rarity opened her mouth to speak but then closed it as she knew I was right, "Fair enough. You've never really complained about the size of things."
"I've never been that social to begin with. So everything was my size and I never had to worry." I said as I got off the train with her, "But now, I'm in a bigger world it's much more difficult."
"Hmm, I can't imagine being someone so small." Rarity gathered her luggage and brought it with her in her magic as we headed to our hotel.
We got to the receptionist and he looked at his books, because they don't have computers here, "Let's see, Ms. Rarity Belle and her guest. Room 916, have a great stay at our hotels. If you need anything don't be afraid to ring the service bell."
We took the elevator to the floor our room was on and opened the door, to see a 1 bedroom suite. "Oh dear Celestia, they must of thought we were a couple." Rarity said, "I specifically asked for a 2 bedroom suite."
"That or they thought that I was your pet." I said as I sat on the couch in the room, "I'll sleep on this."
"Has that actually happened?" Rarity asked as she unpacked her stuff.
"Has what actually happened?" I looked at her.
"Ponies confusing you for a pet?" Rarity asked.
"Filthy Rich and Diamond Tiara tried to buy me from Fluttershy when I was living with her for a bit." I said.
"You lived with Fluttershy?" Rarity asked, "That's news to me."
"Building a cabin in the middle of a monster infested forest takes time, I needed a roof over my head while I was doing it. Fluttershy made the most sense because of my dietary habits." I explained.
"Oh, that's right you're an omnivore." Rarity said, "I forgot that about you. You are getting all you need, right?"
"Yeah, I am." I said, "I'm surprised you remembered that."
"Well, She and I just don't sit around doing nothing while we get our kinks worked out at the spa. We talk, and she thinks the world of you." She smiled and took out her clothes and hung them up, "Well I need to go get my station down at the runway. Would you mind coming with me?"
"I came all the way out here didn't I?" I answered. "What's a little more walking?"
"Thank you, I'll even pay for something to eat afterwards."
"Fine, but we're getting pizza and beer." I said.
"Really?" Rarity asked. "Pizza and beer?"
"Like the receptionist said, I'm your guest." I said sarcastically.
"How can anyone put up with you for an extended period of time?" Rarity asked as she grabbed a handbag.
"Having an asshole in moderation is good for your health, please let your doctor know if your asshole stays around for more than 4 hours, ask your doctor if your heart is healthy enough for an asshole." I said.
Rarity rolled her eyes, "Look honesty is not my element, but I'm going to be very generous with the truth here, I only asked you to come because you're extra muscle."
"Oh..." I swallowed, "That's...just fine." I opened the door, "Come on Miss Rarity, we wouldn't want to be late."
Rarity now regretted what she had said. She gently packed her things away and grabbed the rest of her sewing supplies, then she came along. "Listen, Mickey what I said...I-"
"Don't bother Princess, I hear you loud and clear." I cut her off, "I'm just supposed to protect your things while you go out and enjoy the spotlight."
Rarity now really regretted what she had said earlier. She had invited him out to be a little more social and well she did want the backup, last time she was Canterlot by herself she was terrified. Now she was just sorry that she did it, she got to her station and placed her items yet she kept sneaking glances back at me. She could tell that I was now extremely unsatisfied and I wanted to get out of there as soon as possible. Rarity finished putting her things away and I was left, following behind her. Rarity sighed and went to the nearest pizza parlor, she had known Canterlot like the back of her hand by this point. She then went to a convenience store and bought a 24 pack of beer. She looked at me with a shy smile, "Pizza and beer?"
"That's not going to make me automatically forgive you." I crossed my arms.
"I didn't mean what I had said, it was a mistake to say that you were just extra muscle." Rarity looked down.
"Then why did you say it?" I asked.
"I say stupid things when I'm frustrated, all this pressure of the fashion show, and I wanted Spike here for a romantic getaway but he couldn't make it and it has me, backed up." Rarity admitted.
"Are you saying that you're blueballed?" I asked.
"YES!" Rarity shouted. "I love Spike but he can be as dense as a rock sometimes."
"How about we go back to the hotel before we draw a crowd?" I pointed to the people who were staring.
"Yes, that would be the best course of action." Rarity gave the pizza and beer to me, "Let's go." The walk back to the hotel was very quiet, but we got back and Rarity gave a big sigh and laid on the bed, screaming into the pillow. I put the pizza on the table and the beer into the mini-fridge. I took out a pocket knife, opened a beer and stabbed a hole into the top of the can so I would avoid all the frothy nastiness. I offered Rarity the can and she gladly took it. She drank some and then looked down, "Thank you."
"You're welcome." I fixed my own beer the same way and put my pocket knife on the table. "So you mind telling me what exactly is going on?"
Rarity took a huge swig of beer and grabbed a pizza slice, "I love Spike, but he can be so dense sometimes, I've dropped hint after hint and he just stares at me. It's like he doesn't even want to touch me."
I drank some of my beer, "Rarity, how long have you two been dating now?"
"Three weeks give or take?" Rarity answered, "Why?"
"I think he's still in the mindset that this is all a little too surreal to him that he's dating the girl of his dreams." I said, "Just give him a month or two."
"Okay, I understand that. I still don't see why he wouldn't want to jump my bones at a moment's notice. Is it because he holds me on a pedestal? Is it my hirsutism?"
"Hirsutism? You mean that disorder where you grow an excess of facial hair?" I asked.
Rarity froze, "You know what that is?"
"I dated a girl in college who had it, it wasn't abnormal, but it wasn't common either. I just had to get used to the fact that she would sometimes wake up with a 5 o'clock shadow just like me." I rubbed my chin which had gotten a bit more scruffy than usual, "Did you talk to him about this?"
"Yes, he said it was fine for a diamond like me to have flaws. That's what makes me so valuable." Rarity blushed, "He's such a charmer, and the perfect gentledragon."
"Okay, then. Here's another piece of knowledge that you might want to mull over. What if he isn't ready?"
"How so?" Rarity looked at me and sipped her beer.
"He's been chasing after you for what? Six years now? Now that he's finally dating you, his perception of you has altered. So he may need some time to readjust the way he sees you, he has to change his vision of you being an unattainable goddess, to a regular lady. If you think that would be easy, you're mistaken."
"Hmm, you given me something to think about." Rarity said eating the rest of her pizza as I ate one slice as well. We spent the rest of the night just eating and drinking, though Rarity didn't drink too much she didn't want a huge hangover when she had to get up. I drank the rest and made an ass of myself, the party of two had fun. I slept on the couch and Rarity in the bed, but there was something still plaguing her mind. "Hey, Mickey."
I grunted, "Yeah?"
"Why did you come?" She asked.
"Isn't it obvious? You're my friend, why wouldn't I come to see you?" I rolled over on the couch. "Goodnight Rarity."
Rarity smiled and went to sleep.
Author's Note
Yay we broke over 1000 views! Also this is a two parter.
Journal Entry #14 (Edited)
There are things in life that you are going to do, you're going to learn from those experiences. I, however, have a hard time with learning from mistakes, I think the last time I was that drunk I wound up in a brothel in the middle of Dodge Junction married to the mayor, who was a stallion. Not that I mind that, to me it doesn't matter what is in between your legs as long as you're not an asshole. I just thank my lucky stars that he was the mayor and had the marriage annulled instantly. That was a fun week, I don't remember a day of it though, hangovers are God's way of telling you that you're a fucking moron. I woke up with the biggest hangover I ever had, I grunted and rolled off the couch. Which didn't help my situation, that only made me upset. I could hear Rarity in the shower and she was singing, I struggled to get up and banged on the bathroom door with my fist. "Oh! Mickey is that you?" Rarity asked.
"Water, bitch! Where is it?" I almost yelled.
"There are bottles of water in the mini fridge, I went ahead and got you some pain pills as well." Rarity said.
I stumbled over to the mini fridge and opened it, to see ice cold bottles of water awaiting consumption. I cracked one open and drank it, breathing a sigh of relief I sat down with my hand covering my face to block the sunlight pouring in through the curtains. Rarity came out with a monstrosity of towels wrapped around her, "Good morning, darling. Did you sleep well?"
"I slept like a rock, waking up was the tough part." I groaned.
"You drank 20 beers within the span of a few hours. I'm surprised you didn't vomit and choke on it." Rarity said.
"Wow, I was that blasted? What did I do?" I asked peeking through the hand that was covering my eyes.
"Like you said at the sleepover, you just got a little handsy, but nothing too risque. I think the most damage you did was to the hotel room itself."
"That being?" I questioned.
"You sewed the towels together, I stopped you when you tried to sew the sheets to the drapes." Rarity said, "You were trying to impress me with your fashion skills, but I told you it wasn't necessary after sewing a button to the lampshade. I'm impressed that you can sew so well, but I'm also pissed because this is coming out of my pocket."
"I'll pay you back for it." I said, "So what about the towels? I assume you can undo it?" I asked while peaking through my hands.
"I could if I had the time, we have the runway show in a few hours and then the party afterwards." Rarity said, "I only have time to make your clothes for the show and then we have to get there."
"So you want to measure me now? Get a head start while I hop in the shower?" I asked her.
"I'm not dressed myself and the show doesn't start until 5 pm."
"What time is it now?" I inquired.
"10:30, you got up really early for someone who has a hangover." Rarity answered.
"Being a marine, it's ingrained into your mind. Wake up early, get 4 hours of sleep, get up. Wash, rinse, and repeat for 13 weeks." I said, "If you're not satisfied fuck you, you volunteered for this shit."
"You volunteered for that?" Rarity asked.
"Well I wasn't drafted that's for damn sure." I said as I got another bottle of water.
"The medicine might help." Rarity said as she changed.
"I can't have medicine from here, I might overdose. My anatomy is not the same as a pony's, what might be normal for you could be too much for me." I said. "Hence why I avoid hospitals if I can."
"Wow, I never knew that." Rarity said as she put a sparkling blue dress on. I took that as cue to get up and walk over to her while she continued to talk. "Have you ever injured yourself to the point of hospitalization?"
"Worst thing that happened is that I broke a toe out of anger when I kicked something. I went to Zecora first to see if she had any shaman magic that could help me, she didn't but she is my 'pharmacist'."
"How do you mean?" Rarity asked.
"I go to her for my medicine, her being a zebra she's had close relations with primates. My closest genetic relatives in relation with the natural animal kingdom here is the Bonobo."
"That funny little monkey?" Rarity asked.
"Chimpanzee." I corrected her, "But yes, that is my closest genetic relative. Which is why I'm thankful that Fluttershy is getting her veterinarians license with her specializing in primates."
"Mickey, you're a smart pony." Rarity said.
"Person, but please continue." I corrected her again while smiling.
"My point being, have you given much thought into just why Fluttershy is striving hard to get her veterinarians license when she is living oh so comfortably by being an animal caretaker?"
"It's because of me isn't it?" I asked.
"Bingo, she has been in love with you since the moment she saw you." Rarity said as she started to measure me, "There was a moment where she would mention you in every sentence possible."
"I had no idea." I said as I spread my arms.
"Fluttershy, really loves animals. She'd never do anything risque to them since she thinks that's disgusting, but when she met you, well she fell in love, and she fell hard ." Rarity finished measuring me, "I'm all done, I should have it ready in a few hours."
I let her get to work, I grabbed some of my clothes from my bag nothing fancy and entered the shower. I let the water pour over my body, you know for a such a glamourous hotel you think they would've spent more money on the water pressure. It was decent, nothing life-changing it was a simple as a wash, rinse, and dry off. I was sighing as I toweled myself off and got dressed. I exited the bathroom and Rarity threw some cloth on my body. "I'm guessing I should just stay still?" I asked.
"Yes, that would be perfect." Rarity said as she made adjustments and sewed, "This would go much faster if you had just come in for your measurements when I first offered them to you."
"I was tired of ponies poking and prodding me, thinking it was for my own good when they didn't know who or what I was. Presuming you know what's best for everyone else is also why I stayed in those woods for so long and avoided places like this. It's a toxic mindset that you rarely get out of." I frowned, "I didn't want to come here, but you're my friend so I did."
Rarity paused, "Are we really like that?"
"Your princesses move the sun and the moon, if that's not knowing what's best for everyone then you can call me a fucking moron." I answered. Rarity continued to make my shirt and vest as I stood there waiting for a response, yet none came. "I thought so."
"Why must you always be so right?" Rarity asked in a choked voice.
"I'm not always right, I just see the world as it is. It's a fucked up society where the only way to get ahead in life is by knowing the right people or screwing over the innocent ones." I replied, "No matter what world you're on, it's always going to be a shitshow in your case, it's a shitshow masquerading as harmony and calling it a day. I just call the world out on it's bullshit and no one refutes me because they know that deep down, it's the truth."
"What if somepony proves you wrong?" Rarity asked.
"I take it on the chin, accept it, and move on. Life is way too short for petty things like who's right and who's wrong to get in the way of bullshit fights. Well, life is too short for me anyways." I answered her query.
Rarity soon finished up, "There we are, one dress shirt and royal purple vest. I wish you would let me make you some slacks."
"It would've taken too much time." I took a sip of water, "I want breakfast now."
"I'll get some room service. This hotel caters to meat eaters." Rarity said, "I thought you would like it."
I was taken aback, "I thought I was just 'extra muscle' to you."
"If you must know, Spike is a dragon and he eats meat, he's just vegetarian for the sake of those around him. So, I had him in mind when I booked the room. I find it...attractive when he eats meat." Rarity said.
"Whatever gets your rocks off princess, now quit telling me what turns you on." I said as I adjusted my shirt and vest, "Can I take these off, because I don't want to get these dirty."
"Yeah that's fine." Rarity waved her hand, "Do you want sausage or bacon?"
"Bacon, god I miss having bacon regularly." I sighed as I took the vest and shirt off.
"Is it that good?" Rarity asked as she ordered.
"It's a little strip of heaven that the good lord above handed down to mankind, I was unfortunately robbed of when I was dumped here." I commented as I put on an undershirt and sat on the couch. "So all this time, you've been telling me all about what's been getting you off. The fact of Spike eating meat, and how you're ready for sex but he's not. Does privacy not even cross your mind when you say this?"
"You're my friend, I trust you." Rarity said.
"I thought I was just extra muscle." I looked at her.
"Mickey, I already regret saying that. Why must you hold it over my head?" Rarity asked.
"Why did you say it? It hurt, what hurts more is that you're willing to throw away a friendship over some hired help. If you wanted me to help you, you could've tacked on a paycheck at the end of your offer at the sleepover."
"What are you saying?" Rarity asked.
"That you get so caught up in your work, or 'in the zone' as you call it that you ignore your friends and family until it's too late." I said, "It's usually the same thing for you, you get absorbed in your work, someone says something to you that they didn't mean because you were ignoring them and you go after them. This is why I don't really like your lifestyle, people don't matter to you unless they're useful!"
Rarity was shocked, "I don't...I..." She stopped to think about it, "I'm a bitch."
"Yep, that's why I hate the upper class." I said, "You're not useful or interesting, then you're not worth their time."
"Oh dear Celestia, you're right." Rarity, "Why does the upper class suck so much?"
"Because they want to keep going to the bank." I said, "The classes work a lot like this, the upper class does none of the work, keeps all of the money, the middle class does all of the work, pays all of the taxes, the lower class, is there to scare the shit out of the middle class, keep them going to their jobs."
"That's barbaric." Rarity said, "How can anypony live like that?"
"That's how it worked for my world. I'm surprised people haven't risen up and killed the upper class just for the fun of it." I said as I got another water.
"Not everything is as it is on your world." Rarity defended.
"You can't find anything to defend against my reasoning, it's like I'm moulding the world into my own fucked up version of it, that or you ponies are easy to manipulate and confuse." I said, "Either way, I win."
"So are you a professional asshole or what?" Rarity asked.
"No, but that would be a great job description." I smiled, "Mickey Young, Professional Asshole."
"Let's just eat, the food should be here by now." Rarity said as the food came. I grabbed my plate and started to eat my food, bacon and eggs with some coffee. I savored the hell out of that bacon, that greasy slice of pig meat being chewed and sliding down my throat was one of the best experiences I've had in a long time.
I saw Rarity sneaking glances at me eating, "Enjoy it now sweetheart, it's going to be gone in a minute." I said after swallowing a piece.
Rarity shifted her legs and went back to her food, she ate it quickly and I soon finished my own plate. "Now that we're done with breakfast we need to go shopping, in my stupor I left some things at home."
"Which means you forgot about them." I put, "Don't try and bullshit me or yourself. It doesn't change the fact that you forgot it."
"This is why I didn't want to bring you." Rarity said.
"I thought I was extra muscle." I said, "I'm going to keep holding this over your head until you stop acting the way you do."
Rarity sighed as she knew the futility of arguing with me on this. We went out to the arts and crafts stores and gathered some supplies, we soon got to the show and Rarity started to make slight adjustments to her dresses while summoning my clothes for me to change in the changing room. I soon got my clothes on and stood next to Rarity, she looked at me, "Oh, Mickey." She looked around, "You're done changing already? Hmm, well I don't have anything for you to do. You can go out and sit in the crowd while you wait, our seats should be reserved. I shrug and start to make my way towards the seats, the ponies in attendance gasped and started to mutter to themselves.
Someone gathered the courage to walk up to me and...poke me. I was already sick of it before the action before the person who thought of it decided to do it. I turned to look at it was a filly. That caught me off guard, "Hi!" She said.
"Um, Hello." I struggled to get out, solely based on pure confusion.
"Would you like to buy some cookies?" She asked and I was confused. "The fashion show is for the filly scouts, and we're selling cookies. Would you like some?"
"Uh, yeah sure." I pull out my bag of bits, I don't understand why they wouldn't just use paper money like what I had on me at the time when I arrived but nevermind, I got out my bits and handed them to the little filly. "Do you have any mint cookies?"
"We have paper mints." She said as she took the bits.
"I'll take some of those." I smiled and she ran off to her scout leader with the order then she soon came back with a box of the cookies I ordered, I smiled and thanked the little filly while I dug into my box of cookies. I also now knew the reason why Rarity was doing this, it was a charity auction. Rarity soon came out of the back, with a confident strut and sat next to me. I watched her when she sat down, moving her tail to the side when she did. I continued to contently eat my cookies, she looked at me and I tilted the box in her direction. "Cookie?" I asked her.
"I-uh-I'm on a diet." Rarity said. "Where did you get the cookies from?"
I jabbed my thumb over to the filly scouts. "The scouts sold them to me. Told me what the show was about too. It's a charity auction isn't it?"
"I was hoping no one would say anything, but yes it is a charity auction. The filly scouts had lost all their camping equipment and the girls and I may or may not have been directly to blame for it." Rarity scratched the back of her head with a blush on her face, one look at my face basically said 'cut the bullshit and get on with it'. "There was a...permit issue with our friendship get away that we do once a month and I used my influence to get the spot, but I hadn't found out until later that...it was reserved in advanced by the filly scouts. Needless to say the girls weren't happy and I was pretty guilty about it. They had raised a lot of money in order to go, I basically stole that from them and there were no refunds."
"In short, you stole a camping ground that was reserved from a troup of filly scouts and you were guilt tripped into making dresses and raising money for them." I summarized, "Really classy Rarity. Total grade A bitch on that one." I scarfed another cookie down.
"I don't need you of all ponies guilt tripping me even more." Rarity sighed.
"Try looking more than 6 inches in front of you next time." I looked at the runway as the show began to start.
"What are you talking about?" Rarity asked.
"Rarity, you are the element of generosity I'll give you that, but you're only generous when it comes to yourself or your friends, everything else falls to the wayside for your own goals." I plopped another cookie into my mouth, "You even neglected your own baby sister at one point to work on your dresses instead of bonding with her at the Sisterhooves Social."
Rarity was perplexed, "How do you know that? You weren't around until after Tirek was defeated."
"Because," I finished chewing and swallowing the cookie in my mouth. "I actually listen to the crusaders. While you girls, and Rainbow Dash keep saying that their cutie marks will come when the moment is right, they still need supervision and someone to give them advice, they're still kids. In fact, 30% of my job is to watch those 3 kids, make sure they don't make a shoddy hang glider and throw themselves off a cliff and fall to their deaths."
"Why you though?" She asked me in a more whispered voice as the show continued.
"Because I don't have a cutie mark either, so I don't know what the fuck my destiny is either. You ponies are lucky, you at least get a stamp on your ass telling you that your interest coincides with your destiny and that you should run with that. Humans don't get that shit, all we get is trial and error and sometimes we don't make it out of our mistakes." I harshly whispered back. "Pay more attention to your family and people who aren't just you or your friends. Maybe you won't get stuck in shit like this!" I finished my mini rant and that left Rarity silent for the rest of the show and I ate my cookies to calm me down. When the show was finished so were my cookies and I threw them away in the nearest trash can. The canterlot high society went over to the tables and began to bid in their silent auction. The scoutmaster came over to Rarity, it was Coco Pommel, Rarity gulped and walked right over.
"Hello Coco, once again I would like to apologize-" Rarity started but was cut off by Coco.
"Rarity you've apologized enough, at this point it's groveling." Coco held up her hand and then noticed that I was standing next to her. "Aww, who's this cutie?" She bent down a little to look at me because she was 7'5.
"Lady, I'm an adult and I can see down your blouse and notice that you aren't wearing a bra." I narrowed my eyes.
Coco blushed and straightened up. Rarity cleared her throat, "Coco." She began, "This is my friend Michael, but he prefers to be called Mickey, he's the one I wrote to you about."
"He's a little..." Coco started.
"Crass, rude, blunt?" Rarity suggested.
"All of the above." Coco finished.
"You don't get far in life by beating around the bush, it only leads to more problems." I said crossing my arms.
"But even so, he's almost always got a valid point." Rarity complimented me and I smiled. That's the first time I've heard her give me a compliment. "Plus, he's not one much for canterlot high society."
Coco looked at me. "Why not?"
I looked back at the cream mare. "They either A. treat me like a child in the way that you just did a minute ago, or B. they treat me like I'm some kind of trained pet, all because I look different and I'm shorter." I pointed out, "It gets old fast."
Coco's face scrunched up but then she nodded. "I can see how that could get annoying really fast."
"Anyways, I'm gonna go make some bids, I saw some dresses that might win me some favors with the girls and I'm gonna try to get some." I jabbed my thumb over to tabe with the silent auction papers as I departed my way over to said destination. That wasn't too terrible, I'm just crossing my fingers in hopes that the rest of the trip goes as smoothly as that did, knowing my luck? It more than likely won't.
Author's Note
Sorry I've been out of action for a while, I was VERY busy. Mostly with college, I'm taking classes and I've been called back with a recent play audition. This chapter gave me EXTREME writer's block so if it's a mess I apologize.
Journal Entry #15 (Edited)
There is something called Murphy's Law, basically whatever can go wrong will go wrong. Now you might be wondering, why am I telling you about this? Surely you already know of the oh so beloved law, remember what I said previously about me being hopeful? I should've been realistic, it started with the silent auction table. I walked straight up to the table with my intent being to at least raise some money by getting one dress. Rarity helped me so I could get a dress for Twilight, Fluttershy, or Pinkie Pie. The other unicorns were whispering to themselves which was quite frankly getting on my nerves but then I thought it was for the children so I could take it. I placed my bid and someone had the absolute BALLS to say. "Ugh, what is that thing doing here?" I turned towards the source of the voice and it was loud enough that Rarity had overheard it and stepped in front of me. The damage was done however, my anger was unleashed.
"WHO SAID THAT?!" I shouted. "WHICH ONE OF YOU RACIST, ELITIST, CUNTBAGS SAID THAT?!" I was ready to run up to people and start punching them however, the unicorns were dropping to their knees.
Rarity was even feeling bad, "Mickey, please...stop...this..." She pleaded weakly, I looked over to the kids and some of them had passed out.
My anger was quickly replaced with confusion and there was only one solution that I could see. I needed to get the fuck out of there, I zipped up my jacket hastily and ran as fast as I could, I leapt and hurdled over chairs as I made my way towards the exit all the while swearing at myself and looking at my hand. "What the fuck just happened?" I kept running, I had lived in Canterlot for a few months when I first arrived, I didn't know exactly where everything is but I needed to jog my memory it's been several years, however in my stupor of running and trying to figure out where I am, I came across one of the most recognizable places in Canterlot. Donut Joe's Donuts and Coffee. I had stated earlier that I was now more confused that I was angry, I needed to figure this shit out.
I walked inside the donut shop and ordered a coffee the cashier, which was Donut Joe had a fleeting headache that quickly passed. He shook his head and looked up at me, "Heya Mick, it's been a long time since I've seen you around here. What can get ya?"
"Uh...a coffee, I had just ordered one." I stated, what he just said only piled onto my confusion.
"Oh, right. Sorry Mick, I just got this killer headache and I musta forgotten, tell you what I'll give it to ya on the house." Joe smiled down at me.
"There's no need to do that Joe, I'm perfectly willing to pay."
"Nah, I won't let ya Mick, besides it's been a long while since I've seen ya and I'd like to catch up." Joe went over to his coffee machine, threw out the old coffee grounds and started a fresh pot. "Anything else I can get ya?"
"Some fuckin' answers would be nice." I whispered to myself.
"What was that?" Joe asked.
"Nothing, just the coffee would be great. I'll take it the way I usually do." I said as I sat down in a booth. I put my head down and thought about it, what the fuck just happened?
The bell on the door rang and I peeked my head up to show that it was Rarity she noticed me and sat down across from me. "Joe darling, you better make that 3 coffees." Rarity sighed and looked at me she could see the confusion in my eyes.
"Is everyone alright?" I asked.
"Everyone is fine, most don't remember what happened. Except for a few, well namely three. You, Coco, and I." Rarity said. "What was that?"
"I don't know, honestly. One moment I was angry, the next everyone was weakened and kids were out cold. I don't know what the fuck is going on." I admitted.
"Has this happened before?" Rarity asked.
"I think so, but I'm not 100% sure. It was when I was sparring with Rainbow Dash, she said she felt a little weaker than her normal state." I said. "I didn't think anything of it, everyone has an off day."
"What would you even start to think it is?" Rarity asked.
"Rarity, I've been on a battlefield outnumbered 20 to 1 and yet somehow with piss and vinegar, determination, and some creativity I made it out alive, I was scared then but I powered through it. I'm indirectly hurting innocent people and I'm terrified the only person that can help is Twilight and she's several hours away, and before you even ask I'm not going to Celestia about this. Twilight is the only one I really trust to get to the bottom of this."
"Well if you really need to, go ahead and go." Rarity said, "I'm going to finish up here."
"No, I don't want it happening again and causing some sort of train crash. I want your help, please help me Rarity." I looked up at her with pleading eyes.
"Wow. You're really desperate aren't you?"
"Incredibly, but I'm still as stubborn as ever. There's a good fucking reason I wanted to get as far away from pony life as possible when I left this place." I sighed, "It wasn't fun Rarity, all this elitist bullshit. People looking down on you just because you can't do magic or just because you look different. It's stupid."
"That, you and I can both agree on." Rarity said and she...dropped her accent. "I can't believe I've been suckin' up ta those no good brown nosers for years."
I think my confusion has been mostly replaced with more shock now, granted I was still confused. "Rarity, what happened to your accent?"
Rarity sighed, "Mickey darlin' I'm from Fillydelphia. This is my regular accent." She then switched back to her 'regular voice'. "I only used this accent to help break into the fashion business. I liked it enough that it just stuck." Rarity switched back again, "But since you don't know what in the flyin' buck is goin' on I figured to let ya in on this little secret of mine."
"How many people know about this?" I asked her.
"Joe knows because he knew my parents before he moved out here, then there's my family who know, Sweetie was born in Ponyville but she's picked up a lil' from me. Then there's Spike, he likes it, we promised no secrets from each other and that's the way I want ta keep it." Rarity said, "You're now one of the few who know."
"Thanks, and while I do appreciate it, I'm still scared about this. What is happening?" I looked to her as Joe gave us our coffee and flipped the sign from open to closed and locked the door.
"I figure you two would like some privacy, but please make it quick I can't stay closed all day now." Joe said as he took his cup of coffee, going into the back.
"Thanks Joe." Rarity thanked him, then turned her attention back to me. "If you're really that scared, I can ask the princess to secure you passage to Ponyville immediately and send a letter to Spike letting Twilight know of your arrival. You should get there in half the time it takes by train."
"How could I repay you?" I asked, she's going out of her way to secure me something that I would've never had the guts to ask for.
"A proper suit, not the one you’re wearing right now. Besides if all goes well, you might be getting married." Rarity stated.
"If I get married then I’ll let you plan my wedding." I replied sarcastically.
"Don’t make statements you can’t keep." Rarity sipped her coffee.
"I’ll slice in into my fucking arm if need be." I said as I drank some of my coffee.
"You are incredibly dark sometimes." Rarity said.
"Helps me forget my even darker past, I’ve killed people remember?" I shuddered, "Sometimes I can still see their faces when I sleep."
"Luna could help you if you just asked her." Rarity pointed out.
"No." I shook my head, "My dreams are memories of the worst parts that humanity has to offer, if Luna saw that shit. She’d go darker than Nightmare Moon, she may have tried to take over a kingdom and throw the world into eternal night time, but in the end I saw no casualties at when her hissy fit had ended. It’s cartoonish bullshit, my nightmares would drive anyone else insane. In fact, they aren’t even nightmares anymore, they’re night terrors."
"Wow." Rarity soon finished her coffee and I was right after her by finishing my coffee. We both got up and thanked the coffee maker... Joe we thanked Joe. We soon left so he could get back to his business of making confections for people. "I never got a definitive answer from you, do you want me to ask a favor of the princess so you can get back to Ponyville?"
I stopped walking and Rarity turned to look at me, stopping in her tracks as well. I thought about it for a while and then hung my head. "I need to get to the bottom of this as soon as possible, let’s go."
Rarity put a hand on my shoulder but felt weak and immediately took it off. "It seems this thing is more serious than I thought, but you’re doing the right thing."
I changed direction and turned toward the palace but I stopped. "Wait I still need my clothes and things."
"Well...I kinda already sent them off to the palace if you weren’t going to cooperate with my suggestion I was going to strong arm you into doing it." Rarity admitted.
"...Clever girl, I would be upset but I’m too appreciative of the fact that you had already preemptively planned ahead and were willing to manipulate me into doing it, maybe ponies can learn to be creative." I said.
"Bitch please, being creative is my whole deal darling, I’m not a fashionista because it pays well." Rarity flipped her mane.
"Still you have gained a parcel of my respect, appreciate this. It’s not given out generously." I said.
"I shall treat it with the utmost care." Rarity said, "I know the importance of this and I shall appreciate it for what it is."
I smirked a little, "Well then, you have my respect. Now let's see if you can earn my trust." I gently thrust my arms forward, "After you milady."
Rarity smiled and walked before me, "Thank you kind sir."
We didn't talk about much during our walk to the palace I just let her lead the way and when we got to the royal gates Rarity was let through yet I was stopped. I looked at one, then I looked at the other. "You guys are fucking idiots if you don't either recognize me or have a procedure set in place when the ONLY HUMAN in Equestria visits the royal palace. Go ahead and take out your rule books and check to see who is granted immediate entry into the royal palace. I'll wait."
"Mickey..." Rarity grew concerned.
"No, no, no. I want this to happen, I want this to be an example for every new recruit that comes to this post, now go ahead." I looked at the guards.
The guards nervously shuffled around and took out a little rulebook after skimming through it they looked at me and then looked at the book, "Our sincerest apologies sir-"
"Shove it up your ass and around the corner." I grumbled as I walked past.
"Was that really necessary?" Rarity asked.
"Saves a lot of time and effort and I didn't want to be detained in a dungeon cell because of it. I cut through the bullshit and got straight to the point." I said as we walked into the throne room. Celestia was there talking with the nobles, but I could see in her eyes she was extremely bored. So I just whistled and got everyone's attention. "To whoever has the golden stylish carriage outside? Yeah it's on fire now." The moment I finished that statement, all the nobles got up and rushed out the door. I looked to the guards at the door, "Lock it."
Both guards nodded and locked the door and Celestia cleared her throat. "Thanks Mickey, though I highly doubt that would work twice."
"Who said you could call me by my name? I prefer my title, Lord Asshole of humanity, representative of one." I crossed my arms, "Or LAHROO for short."
I then heard a very distinct voice go, "PFFT, oh by all that is chaos that is hilarious." Discord started to laugh and he emerged from Celestia's shadow.
"How long were you there Discord?" Celestia asked, mildly annoyed.
"Let's just say I was a few seconds away from turning all nobles into midgets in bikinis." Discord rolled his eyes, right out of his head in fact he was rolling them around in his talon.
"Let's put a pin in that for now." Rarity said, "I need you to transport Mickey back to Ponyville, immediately. I would say that the crown owes us for sending us out on dangerous missions repeatedly with little to no concern for our physical or mental health."
Celestia was going to say something but one look from me cut off her train of thought and speech. "I can see how you feel that you must be compensated, but let me remind you, I'm not a genie, let your requests be reasonable and I'll look into them. I'm not going to make Rainbow lead captain of the wonderbolts for no reason though. Just be aware of this."
"I just want Mickey back in Ponyville for right now, but I also want a house on a beach in a private resort and an exclusive newsletter of available properties in the fashion district in Manehattan." Rarity crossed her arms.
"Ooh, going right for the jugular. Smart." I complimented and Rarity shot a smile at me.
"Fair enough, I can see to it that you are well compensated in your requests and I'll have Mr. Lord of Assholes, Representative of one be on the next chariot to Ponyville." Celestia sighed. "Do you really want me to call you that?"
"Until you can earn both my respect and trust, yes." I said.
"It'll take a few hours to get my personal chariot ready." Celestia said, "Until then we can 'shoot the breeze' as you call it." Celestia then nodded to one of her guards who left the throne room.
"I'm going to go out of my way to ignore you." I said.
"Why do you detest me so?" Celestia asked.
"Ignoring the fact that you had me trapped in a laboratory and experimented on me against my consent for months on end, you let the rich pricks with deep pockets order you around while bitching and moaning over the fact that they don't have enough tax breaks for their hot air balloons, which I personally think that they could inflate with all the breath they're wasting on you. You aren't really acting like a leader, or a teacher as your oh so great school for gifted unicorns has lead people to believe. Right now as of this moment, you're a glorified sun raiser with gold around her ankles, wrists, neck, and on your head. You chose the title of princess to make yourself a little more relatable and so you could rule over people without making them feel like they're serving a queen, but you aren't even acting like either." I said
"Well everypony must follow the rules, even the ones who make them." Celestia countered.
"Except the people who have the biggest bank accounts follow less and less rules the richer and richer they get and you sit on your ass and do nothing. The seats here should be elected positions instead of positions passed down through the unicorns with the biggest bank accounts. Speaking of unicorns, doesn't it seem a little suspicious that all the unicorns are the high class society? That they get the special school branded with Celestia's name and only that school alone?" I looked to Discord, "Doesn't that seem a little tribalist to you Discord?"
"Hmm, you do make a valid point Mickey." Discord put his eyes back in his head and scratched his goatee with his lion paw.
"Now let's all break this down into the economic standpoint, one of my herdmates Applejack, with the help of her brother, her sister, her grandmother, and myself, they run an apple farm. It's honest noble work, yet the more and more profits they produce the more and more in debt they seem to be. Pinkie pie is a baker who has to live with her employers because she can't afford anywhere else and previously she lived on a rock farm and ate rocks and they're both Earth Ponies...sounds a lot like the lower class to me. Meanwhile, two of my other herdmates Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy both live completely on their own with a manageable living expense, Fluttershy is even making enough money to put herself through veterinarians school. Let's not forget Rainbow Dash is a weather captain who has her own house which could be argue that it could be a mansion and they're both Pegasi. Finally there's my herdmate Twilight who is a princess but let us not forget that she was a unicorn prior to this and had a library to herself and all of her living expenses paid for by the crown itself. Do you see. What I'm swinging at. Here?" I emphasized Rarity, Celestia, and even Discord were stunned, "But I'm not one to beat around the bush so I'll spell it out for all of you. The more magic you can use, the higher of an economic class you'll be in, and if you're different in any way, shape, or form, you're going to be ostracized. Do you get it now?"
Rarity, Celestia, and Discord all nodded. I just smiled with my economic rant spent I then sighed. I walked up to one of the chairs and sat my ass down in it, Rarity was the first one to speak up. "Why didn't anypony point this out earlier?"
"They were most likely labeled as insane and thrown out of their respective economic class." I stated while putting my feet up and leaning back.
"What would you do?" Celestia looked at me, "Hypothetically if you were in my situation, what would you do?"
"Tax the rich harder and give tax cuts to those in debt or wipe away their debt entirely, if the rich complain I'll tell them to grow the fuck up, they're adults who are making x amount of money a year, you don't need a fucking tax break when people are struggling to put meals on the table." I put my hands behind my head. "The apple family haven't had an unrelated apple meal in god knows how long. If it weren't for their fucking apple farm they would have starved to death by now."
"My word, is it really that terrible?" Rarity asked.
"The other day Apple Bloom asked me what the hell I was eating for lunch, it was broccoli. I'd say it's pretty fucking bad." I looked at Celestia.
"I didn't know it was this bad." Celestia stated.
"Celestia, you are an alicorn." I put up my thumb, index, and middle finger. "The combination of a unicorn, a pegasus, and an earth pony. Yet I see you representing either the unicorn or pegasus." I put down my thumb and index finger therefore, flipping her off. "Never seen you on a farm, never seen you in a garden trying to grow something." I pointed out.
"Are you suggesting that I make a sudden shift in the status quo of the entirety of equestria?" Celestia said.
"You're the fucking ruler, not a motherfucking doormat." I said looking at her, "Quit treating the people you rule over like spoiled little children. Shake things up, be a fucking ruler have advisors and not people who bitch and moan. They're fucking adults, they had the right to bitch and moan as children, but now? No excuse." I said. "The true reason I really hated you with a passion is because you were nothing but a glorified puppet that raised the sun. I see no fucking fire, no personality just an emotionless puppet to be used by the high society." I stood up and walked over to her. "Now you have a choice to make. Are you going to remain the puppet of the high society or are you actually going to get some fucking justice for the little guy and stand up and REALLY represent ALL the ponies you are made of?" I looked deep into her eyes, and I could see sparks. The start of something new, just one more little push something to really set her off on this path of change. I put my hands on hers as she laid them on the armrests of her throne. "It's time to stop being a mother, because these babies are all grown up. It's time to start being a princess." With those few words those sparks turned into a fire.
"By Faust you have a fucking point." Celestia muttered, her eyebrows creased and her eyes narrowed. She looked up at me and then stood up, towering over me like the 9'6 amazonian pony goddess she was.
I just smirked, "It's about fucking time you listened to some logic and reason."
Discord stood in awe of me, "Never in a trillion years would I have thought that I would've seen the fire in Celestia's eyes once more. With just words you have reignited a spark that I thought was long dead, Mickey you have my utmost respect, anything you desire, I shall make it be."
I looked at Discord, "Great I now have a chaotic genie, I'm gonna hold you to those words Discord. Rarity, you're my witness."
"Done." Rarity said looking in awe of the Princess.
"And to think, I really didn't want to be here." I smiled.
The guard had now returned, "Princess, your personal chariot awaits, and the nobles are getting restless. What shall we do?"
Princess Celestia looked at the guard, "Let them in my little pony and then get the rest of the guard from around the castle into the throne room. I'm going to need the aid of all my guards for this."
The nameless guard then saluted and with a quick, "Yes your highness." She soon departed.
"You're welcome to leave now Mickey, I know how much contempt you hold for the canterlot high society." Princess Celestia said.
"Oh, fuck no Princess, I started this fire, I want to see it burn the garbage." I said and Princess Celestia stopped, I looked up at her. "What?"
"That's the...first time you've called me princess without it being sarcastic." Princess Celestia pointed out.
"Yeah well, maybe you did something to deserve that. I'm not going to tell you what, because I'm a professional asshole." I smiled, "Don't let me stop you from doing what you're doing."
Princess Celestia steeled herself as the rest of her guards came in and she sat back down on her throne, I leaned against it like a cocky mother fucker. I knew what was about to go the fuck down. The princess looked at her guards and nodded. "Let them back in."
Soon, one after another they all filed back in and took their seats, complaining up a storm. I looked at my non-existent watch and looked back at her. "Any minute now. " I whispered.
"ENOUGH!" Celestia commanded and ooh, that sent shivers down my spine. The so called nobles soon quieted down, "I have heard you, your mothers and fathers, your grandmothers and grandfathers, and your great-grandmothers and great-grandfathers complain to me for too damn long, I've gotten sick and tired of your bitching and moaning, you all are ADULTS! How about you fucking act like it!" Princess Celestia swore. The ponies gasped but the princess continued while standing up. "You are not children, and I am not your mommy, there are actual good ponies out there who deserve the jobs you have and you bitch and moan and complain about trivial shit like taxes? I've had it up to my own damned sun that I can't take anymore!" The princess breathed through her nose and out her mouth. "Which is why most of you are fired the ones that deserve to keep their jobs will be informed in the coming days, and before you say that I can't do that. I'm the mother fucking PRINCESS , I sign the laws into power, I make the taxes that you MUST pay, anyone who tries to skip out on their taxes will pay be it money or time served. But, I'm not going to sit here any longer and listen to you bicker and complain about stupid shit. You do the work, you make the money, you make the money, you pay your taxes. It's simple as that, if you don't like it. My guard would happily escort you out, or escort you to the dungeons. Either way, you're finally out my fucking hair and out of my fucking mind." Celestia sat back down.
"In other words, GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!" I shouted. The former nobles grumbled but soon emptied the throne room and I was grinning like a fucking idiot. "I think I just popped a boner."
Rarity looked over at me and then reeled in disgust. "There's no need to think, you did get one!"
I look at my hard on then look at the princess, who is staring at me and my hard on, I then look back at my hard on and then back at her. "Later, I have to go figure some shit out."
"Agreed." Princess Celestia said. "Guards, please escort Mickey to my personal chariot."
Two guards nodded and before I left Rarity remembered. "Oh yeah, I almost forgot." Her horn lit up a baby blue and my bags appeared at my feet.
"Thanks, hey have you ever noticed that a unicorns natural magic aura matches their eye color except Celestia's?" I said as I gathered my bags and departed for my ride.
Princess Celestia was going to say something but then she conjured a full length mirror and lit up her horn in for a simple light spell, "Rarity please stand next to me and do the same spell I am." Rarity did as the princess asked of her and noticed that what I said was right. "Huh, that's so incredibly weird."
I smiled as I got onto the chariot relaxing as it took off with Ponyville as it's destination. Maybe I can get to the bottom of some of this weird shit that's been happening to me. It'll be good to return my book I checked out from there anyways, as the chariot took off I saw the palace and the city of Canterlot slowly but steadily shrink, my mind still clouded by this mystery.
Author's Note
It has never been specified where Rarity was born, so people can go fucking nuts with where she originally came from, I like to think her putting on a fake accent gives her character another hidden layer about her. Also I must be the only person in the world who noticed that about a unicorn's aura. I'm too attentive to details. HOLY SHIT I FINALLY GOT FEATURED!!!!!!!!!!
Journal Entry #16 (Edited)
I looked down at the ever expanding landscape that was Equestria in contemplation, I had snapped Princess Celestia out of a funk that must have been there for hundreds of years by the looks of it. I may be happy that I have some microscopic sliver of respect for the princess now but, it still doesn't change how I feel overall. My mind is a terrible plague of a labyrinth with all that out of the way I can really focus on one thing, what the absolute fuck happened at that fashion show? I gotta retrace my steps, I was agitated sure but I was calming down until I went over to the silent auction table and placed my bid when someone said "what was that thing doing here" and then I just lost it with my anger. That's when everyone went weak and started to collapse, then there was that time I was sparring with Rainbow where she felt weaker than normal. She only told me afterwards, after the sleepover and before I left for Canterlot, but what's the fucking connection?
That's why I'm seeking out Twilight, I'm a man with a lot of common sense, which is hard to come by but I've still got it. I'd also like to say I'm fairly intelligent, with my intelligence increasing daily. This shit, this shit is out of my fucking league, the closest thing I can compare it to is magic and I don't know fucking magic. I don't know what else to say, it's magic and I don't know jack shit about this. I hope Twilight has some sort of answer for me, because this is terrifying.
I stared out the window with my now confused mind somewhat focused. I saw the clouds roll by easily and the trees below my feet, there was then a banging at the front. I took it as a signal that we were entering Ponyville soon and I got prepared to land. To say that the landing was rough, is an understatement. For fuck's sake how can Princess Celestia handle shit like that? I've been in a helicopter crash that was less bumpy than that ever was. I looked to the guards and thanked them for bringing me out to Ponyville and then walked out to my cabin to put my shit down and change my clothes. Maybe even take a shower, I smell dirty as fuck. I put my shit down and looked around, nothing changed... well except it wasn't as dusty as I expected it to be, and the only two people that I would expect to enter my house while I'm away are Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy, because they're the only ones I taught how to disarm the traps. Yes, I booby trapped my fucking house everything from the basement up will explode if you don't disarm it correctly. Why is that you might ask? I don't want anyone getting their hands on my gun, if some smart son of a bitch got ahold of that weapon they could make more and I shudder to think at what could happen to the world at that point. Tossing that thought aside for the moment the only one who would do some cleaning around my place is Fluttershy, I love the both of them but Pinkie only cleans when she's done throwing a party. So, I need to thank Flutters with some cuddles later.
Right now I had to take care of some important things though, I took a shower and washed my body off, soaped it up pretty decently, and then I rinsed the soap off. There was still that thing nagged at me as I dried off my body. Just what exactly did I do to those people? I might be beating a dead fucking horse here but that what the music industry does and it still spits out money. I soon got dressed and then walked over to Twilight's with my mind focused on what happened naught but a few moments ago I didn't even notice that I ran right into the crystal doors of the castle until it was too late. "OH SON OF A BITCH!" I screamed out in pain when my face collided with the geode tree.
The door soon opened to reveal Spike, "Mickey, are you alright?" He looked at me concerned and held my shoulders.
"Yeah, yeah, I'll be fine. I just was lost in thought and wasn't paying attention to where I was going." I said to my dragon friend, "I'm guessing you were informed about what happened earlier today?"
"Yeah, Twilight has been waiting, but not patiently might I add." Spike said as he helped me into the castle.
"I'm gonna need a mirror real quick, just check to make sure nothing is broken." I said.
"Yeah sure, just sit right here and I'll be right back." Spike said as he sat me down in a chair, he then spread his wings and took off up the stairs.
He soon came back with a hand mirror and I took it to check to see if there would be any lasting damage. "I think I'll be good, I'll have Flutters check it out later, it just really fucking hurts right now." I seethed in pain, I then shook my head and stood up. "Mind showing me where Twilight is?"
"Yeah sure no problem." Spike helped me up but I gently shrugged him off reassuring I would be fine, so we walked into Twilight's lab and she was frantically pacing back and until she heard the door open.
"MICKEY!" She practically flew at me and hugged me tight. "Oh my Celestia are you alright?" She cradled my head.
"Twilight, I'm fine, other than smearing my face on your castle door I couldn't be better, please just help me figure out what's been going on with me."
"We will get to the bottom of this, I swear." Twilight held me close to her, my head nestled right underneath her boobs. It felt nice, ever since she ascended to an alicorn her tits almost quadrupled in size, they used to be a modest 20C but now they're an 75HH and I was very, VERY lucky right now. I was grinning like a fucking moron, nothing could ever bring me down from this high right now, well except sex, stupid sexy Princess Celestia. Wait...what the fuck was that?
I shook my head quickly and looked up at my alpha mare. "So can we get started?"
"Yes, sorry I was just...savoring the moment. I never get to hold you like this so I couldn't help but try to extend the time." Twilight released me and blushed. Damn, am I really that cold-hearted to them? I get moving slowly but how self restrained are they being right now? Maybe I could speed things up a little, maybe take it from a snail's pace to a tortoise's pace. That's relatively faster when comparing animals right? In fact note to self, ask Flutters which is faster a snail or a tortoise?
"Hmm, okay..." I rubbed my chin with my right hand.
"Now in order to start, I'm going to need some...samples." Twilight whispered.
"What was that? I can't hear you." I said, "Speak up."
"I'm going to needs some samples... before you freak out, there is a baseline that we need to establish and getting blood and hair samples are the quickest way to do so!" Twilight blurted out quickly that I almost didn't catch what she was saying...almost.
I just closed my eyes and thought about it, if this was going to be the fastest way to figure out what in the blue hell is going on. Then I suppose I can withstand it, she's my one of my girlfriends after all. I took a deep breath and let it out, "Okay."
"What?" Twilight's body language changed from defensive to confused.
"I said yes, now hurry up before I change my mind." I said as I shrugged off my jacket. "Just one condition, when you're done with my DNA samples. Destroy them, I want you to pinkie promise."
"I cross my heart hope to fly stick a cupcake in my eye that I will destroy these when I am finished with them." Twilight did the motions and I looked at Spike who did the same repeating the same words.
"Okay, let's do it." I looked around, "Do you want me to sit on a table or something?"
"Um sure, I'll have you sit up here." She motioned to a clear metal sterilized table. I'd seen the sort of thing before, back when I first arrived here, "If you could also take off your shirt that would be very helpful as well."
I gulped and took off my shirt, "You aren't going to strap me down, I know about how you get an itch in your brain when something new is presented to you and you get the opportunity to study it. That shouldn't matter though, I'm still your boyfriend I'm still a person so this may quell some of the cravings for knowledge that you have, don't go crazy."
Twilight held up her hands. "I swear I won't. I know this is a lot for you so I'm going to get this done and over with as quickly as possible."
I got up on the table with relative ease, turning around I pointed at Spike. "You better hold her to that. If she thinks about crossing any lines, stop her." Spike saw the concern in my eyes and simply nodded. I took a deep breath and laid back on the table. "Here we go again."
Twilight wasted no time, igniting her horn in a raspberry aura and washing her hands and putting on gloves, using her magic she put her hair in a bun, and got a needle and an alcoholic wipe. She wiped a specific spot on my arm and slowly inserted the needle into my arm and right into my vein with incredible precision while I looked up at the crystalline ceiling. She soon removed the needle and placed a cotton ball on my arm to slow the bleeding and then when it coagulated enough she placed a bandaid over the tiny hole in my arm. I've been shot at, and even shot a few times, but one thing I can never get over is needles, I've always been afraid of them, ever since childhood. It's a very logical phobia, I don't like the idea of foreign objects going into my body and extracting things from my body. Twilight soon filled a vial full of my blood from the needle I was ready to get up when she said. "Wait, one minute." She used her magic and plucked a few hairs from the top of my scalp and I soon got back up. "I'll run some preliminary tests on these to see your magic output. This should take a few minutes so while that is processing if you don't mind I can hook you up to this machine and it'll measure your aura level."
I put my shirt back on, and looked at the machine. "Isn't that the same machine you hooked Pinkie up to when you were trying to measure her pinkie sense?" I asked.
"No, that one blew up with Golden Oaks, this is the newest model. This baby can run at 60 Megabytes a minute." Twilight looked at it in awe. "However it's nothing compared to the computers you have in your world and on the other side of the mirror. But it's the best we equestrians have at the moment."
"Humans are faster since we have no magic." I said, "Don't ask about the Salem Witch Trials though. That's a very fucked up moment in history."
"How bad was it?" Spike asked.
"Let's just say, a chicken got confused for a rooster and was tried as a witch after laying an egg." I said. "That's what happens when religion runs rampant over a populus."
"That brings up interesting topic, you've never said anything about this but, Mickey are you a religious person? In my time on the other side of the mirror when I was coming up with a counter spell for the Dazzlings the girls over there taught me about religion."
"Well, I am a christian. But I don't let be the ONLY thing about me, one of the things that they teach in the bible is acceptance. Which is why I typically don't judge others for who or what they are but the content of their character."
"Except when it comes to the canterlot high society." Spike pointed out.
"With the exception of a few decent people, most of them can die in a fire." I crossed my arms. "I'm a little religious but that's my own take on it, you ponies worship Princess Celestia, I worship something else. I respect your person, you respect mine."
Twilight paused and looked at me, "Are you sure you're alright?"
"Other than making people pass out for seemingly no fucking reason at all. I'm just fine, why?" I asked looking up at my alpha girlfriend.
"You just referred to the Princess as Princess Celestia, you NEVER do that." Spike pointed out.
"I think you'll learn in the coming days, just why I had a sudden shift in tone." I said cryptically.
"Okay." Twilight said, "So do you mind stepping into the machine?"
I took another deep breath and stepped up, "Let's just get this over with."
"Now I want to apologize in advance, because in order to get an accurate reading I'm going to need to strap your hands down into reader." Twilight said as she pulled over a chair for me to sit in.
"If anything starts to go wrong, shut it all down." I said while she strapped me in, "I don't want to be strapped into a ticking time bomb if it comes to that."
Twilight finished strapping me in and put a hand on my cheek, her hand almost wrapped around my entire head, "Mickey, I've seen you over the years from afar and seen your intelligence, your charisma, and your bravery. I have grown to love you as well as the rest of our herd. I swear to everything I ever hold dear if I think for even a millisecond that you are in any sort of danger I will teleport you out of there and as far away from the castle as possible." She had tears in her eyes, "The last thing I ever want to do is hurt you. Especially not after how much trust you've shown me right now."
I looked in her eyes and could tell that there was true love behind that statement, something I haven't felt in a long ass time. The only thing that was running through my mind at this moment was this. I just simply leaned my head forward and kissed her.
Twilight was taken aback but soon she returned the kiss, closing her eyes as she was the first mare to kiss their boyfriend. She soon broke the kiss and looked at me, "We need to start soon, and as much as I enjoy that. I think you'd prefer if we got this done as soon as possible."
"I agree." I said and Twilight attached a Doc Brown looking device onto my head and started up the machine, it slowly hummed to life as a bell rang elsewhere in the laboratory.
Twilight looked over at Spike who had his gaze averted, "Spike do you mind getting that, it should be the magic results from Mickey's DNA samples." Twilight then looked back at me. "You're doing great sweetie, just a few more minutes and it'll be done."
Spike did as his surrogate mother asked him and he looked at the results, "Uh, Twilight! You might want to take a look at this!"
"Not now Spike, the aura detector is starting to print out the results!" Twilight shouted back.
"But it's really important!" Spike said.
"I'm not leaving my stallion's side when he's vulnerable!" Twilight said, "If it's important then it can wait!"
I grew a little rosy in the cheeks when she said I was her stallion. I prefer it when they call me their boyfriend or just their herdman, they came up with that term I didn't see any problem with that. However, when they use things like stallion or pony, it always left me blushing for some reason. Most likely conclusion is that I was flattered that they think of me as so synonymous with their group that they forget that I'm not a pony. Either way, I liked it a little, my line of sight drifted over to the paper that was printing out of the machine I was hooked up too. "Twilight." I spoke up, "Aren't you going to take a look at that?"
"It's only a baseline of aura detection, the start of it. It should take another minute." She rested her hands on my shoulders. "Just relax and it should go a lot smoother, I promise." She wrapped her arms around my chest and it did help me relax. The minute passed relatively quickly with Twilight by my side helping me stay calm when I was very tense. The paper finished printing and Twilight soon unstrapped me from the machine but she only looked at it with confusion. "What the fuck?" She said.
"What is it?" I asked.
"According to this, it shows that you have no magic aura, in fact. You have a negative magic aura." Twilight said.
"That's what I was trying to get your attention on earlier." Spike said holding the paper in his hand, "His magic element is something different, something new, it's an Anti-magic element."
"Magic element?" I asked.
"I'll explain it later." Twilight said and then looked at Spike and took the paper from his hand. "Holy shit. This is...incredible! It was theorized that there was an anti-magical element but there was no definitive proof of this! Do you realize what this means? We could be famous in the magic community!" Twilight was jumping up and down. "We finally have guaranteed proof of Starswirl's Anti Magicka Theorem!"
"Except for one key detail." Spike pointed out, "It's not our magic, it's Mickey's. The decision is ultimately his, and I don't think he would want to be poked and prodded by more unicorns."
Twilight stopped jumping and looked at me, the papers in her hands, then back at me. "I promised I would destroy the DNA samples and I will keep to my word. I...I just wish you would hear me out."
"I'm not unwilling to hear you out, I just want some explanations first and to get out of this motherfucking laboratory." I shuddered.
Twilight nodded, lighting up her horn she brought up the magic samples and collapsed them into nothing I looked at her, "Impressed?" She asked, "Princess Celestia taught me that, it collapses the object into a parallel dimension. It's like a one way doorway however, you can put stuff in can't take stuff out.
I looked around, "Needle and cotton ball too please."
Twilight bit her lip but acquiesced all the same, sending the named objects into that one way dimension. "Let's talk."
Twilight, Spike, and I all sat around the table. I had a cup of coffee in my hand as was slowly drinking it. I was awaiting the explanation of just what exactly this 'Anti-magic element' was and why it affected me. Twilight had sent her findings off to Princess Celestia and she said she would be here as soon as possible to corroborate Twilight's story, why you might ask? Because, I could be a threat to Equestria, all of magic, and harmony if this turns out to be true so I was stuck in the throne room just waiting until then. I took another sip of my coffee, my second cup within the span of 2 hours. It's been a rough day, coffee helps me think, works a lot better than tea for now.
Twilight looked up at me from her cup of tea, "Mickey, I'm sorry you have to wait for answers."
"It's fine, I'm sure Princess Celestia's schedule is a huge shitshow right now after what happened." I took another sip of my coffee.
"You alluded to something earlier but never specified what." Spike said, "What does it have to do with the Princess, and your sudden show of respect for her? As far as we've all know you've been anti-Celestia since you've been here."
"Look, my opinion of her hasn't changed that drastically, I still don't like her for what she did to me and for hiding the truth from the girls and from me. However, something has changed and it's not just me, all I can say is it's not my place to tell you and the media won't do a great job of covering what's going to be happening in the coming weeks. I did however have a huge part in it, I just don't want to say how much of it I want to take credit for right now." I explained and drank some of my coffee after it had cooled down enough. I took a deep breath and let out a huge sigh. What followed that sigh was a huge flash of golden light and a lot of squinting, fuck she couldn't be any more grandiose? I think I just got hit with a fucking flash bang grenade.
Twilight looked toward the source of the light and it was her former mentor Princess Celestia, "The media is going to have a field day with this one." She grumbled under her breath but my training allowed me to pick it up. Have you ever wondered why Marine Drill Instructors constantly yell at recruits? Well, actually not all of them do. If you get two or three DI's on you one of them will be talking normally, it prepares you for listening to key details from your buddy while firing an M16. So I pick up on what people say under their breath. I don't say anything because it embarrasses people. Princess Celestia looked at Twilight, "Is he still here?"
Twilight was going to say something but I had answered in her stead. "Yeah I am, I'm just blind thanks to the fucking flashbang you set off when you arrived." I said passive aggressively. It was heavy on the aggressive with a light splash of passive.
"My apologies, are you alright?" Princess Celestia apologized and asked.
"I'll be fine, but find a way to chill out with that whole flash effect when you come into a room, I think you just burned my retinas." I blinked.
"I'll try, but please tell me that what you say is true, that he's got an Anti Magic Element." Celestia asked Twilight who handed her the papers while I recovered my vision.
"Excuse me princesses, but no one has explained to me what the fuck an Anti Magic Element is or what the fuck a Magic Element is." I said while squinting at the two of them.
Twilight sat down and looked at me, "To simplify, a magic element is the absolute core of what a pony can do, it can be broken down into the basic elements, earth, water, fire, air, and magic. That's just the 5 general elements, there are millions of different sub categories that specify a pony's natural talent. Take for example Applejack, she has the Magic Element of Earth with a subcategory of Botany. That's just a simple example, now there are very rare elements and categories like say for example Rainbow Dash, her Element is Air while her subcategory is Speed, hence why she doesn't get ripped apart when doing her Sonic Rainboom. There has always been 5 elements, but it was theorized by Starswirl the Bearded that with these Elements, there are opposites earth is the opposite of air, fire is the opposite of water, they cancel each other out but there is no opposite of magic to cancel it out, so he theorized that there was an element that cancelled out the magic element. He dubbed this theory the Anti Magicka Theorem, but he had no definitive proof until you came along."
"So Anti Magic cancels out any type of magic?" I asked.
"It has the ability to, but it's most effective against ponies with a magic element." Celestia said. "It's incredibly effective against Unicorns and Alicorns."
"Then how come I'm not making people pass out and drop to their knees whenever I walk past a unicorn or making you two feel weak?" I asked.
"My best theory is that you're actually doing it subconsciously, what happened at the fashion show earlier was when you were incredibly angry so it might have occurred that way." Twilight said, "As for it not affecting us, I think it does but since we're also both Earth Ponies and Pegasi as well, so it's only got 1/3rd of the effectiveness at this state right now."
"Alright, now here's my final question. How do I control it?" I looked up at the princess of the sun and princess of friendship who were looking at each other with doubts in their eyes. "So I can't?"
"We...don't know, it warrants more study before we can determine whether or not you could." Twilight said, "We could try and make an item to cancel out this aura by constantly supplying you with magic but in order for you to control it, we will need to hold onto some samples for study so we can find a safe conduit for you to safely release this anti magic."
"I'm going to have to think about it, but for now." I looked at Princess Celestia, "You should tell her what's going to happen in the next few days. I'm going to go get a drink, something really alcoholic, I want to kill as many brain cells as possible right now." I stood up and made my way towards the door but Twilight stopped me. I looked up at Twilight, "You aren't going to stop me I need to kill some brain cells."
"There's some bourbon in my room, you can get some from there." Twilight said and I was surprised, "Look, living in Ponyville for so long it will drive you insane if you don't have something to blur the lines a bit, most ponies drink and I'm one of them."
"If I drink all your bourbon I'll replace it." I said as I went to Twilight's room to get the bottle of booze. I opened the door and saw the liquor in a fancy glass bottle and I poured myself a glass. I sighed and took a swing, the alcohol lightly burning my throat as I swallowed. This shit is...well fuck I don't even know how to describe it, but I can tell you one thing, this is definitely going to change the way my fucking perspective on shit for now.
Author's Note
Short chapter but a fun one. I'm building up to something.
It's been a few days since I found out about my whole anti-magic element and I still had no idea what to say or do. I was honestly lost here, after running a few more non-invasive tests we concluded that it was safe. For me walk, talk, socialize, but to do my best and avoid stressful situations. In Ponyville that's like asking a ticking time bomb to stop ticking, it's gonna explode no matter what happens. I'd have better luck stopping a train with my bare hands.
I was working at Sweet Apple Acres, usually my jobs there include. Taking care of the CMC, collect the apple baskets, store the apples, and replace the baskets with empty ones, repair anything that breaks (or that the CMC break), and chop wood. Right now I was doing the last thing on that list. I had already replaced all the baskets in the east orchard and they needed me to chop some wood. That way they could start the fire to make some apple jam as it was getting later on in the summer. With my help they had a head start in everything now and they paid me whenever possible.
If I'm being honest though I don't take much when it comes to being paid, working around here gets me off my ass and doing something until the end of the day, it's like George Carlin once said, 'Life is not that difficult, you get up, you go to work, you eat three meals, you take one good shit, and then you go back to bed.' I smiled to myself and placed another log on the stump and easily sliced through the log with my axe using just my brute strength. Granny Smith came out of the farm house and took a look at me. "Hey youngin' why don't ya take a break?"
I looked at the elder mare and wiped my sweat from my brow, "Sure thing Granny, the axe needs some sharpening anyways." I walked over to a tool box laying out on the porch and grabbed a metal nail file, starting to file at the edges.
"So, I heard from Applejack that you're now in her herd." Granny said, looking down at me while leaning over the handrail of the porch.
"Yeah." I paused what I was doing, "Look I'm not gonna take advantage of her if that's what you're thinking." I continued to file away at the axe.
"The thought never even crossed my mind youngin', I think it's good for the both of ya. When I first met ya, ya always kept to yaself, but now ya more outgoin'." Granny said. "Applejack on the other hand..."
"Is stubborn? More stubborn than me?" I put out there.
"I was gonna say more stubborn than a mule but more stubborn than you works." Granny smiled, "C'mon youngin' you gotta stop working and take a real break. 'Sides that axe looks sharp enough."
"Alright." I looked at the axe head and Granny was right the axe was sharper now, I walked over and lodged it deep into the stump where I was chopping wood.
"Now come on in and get some lunch." Granny said as she started to ring the bell, letting the others in the fields know that it was time to eat. Soon enough Applejack, Mac, and Apple Bloom came in while I was already eating.
"Mickey!" Applejack half yelled, "You're supposed to wait for everypony to get in before ya eat."
"'F ya put foo' in fronna me, 'm gonna eat it." I said with a mouthful of apple.
"Don't talk with ya mouth full youngin'." Granny lightly scolded, "Applejack is right though, ya do have to wait." Granny looked at my plate and then at the other plates she set out. "Well for land sakes, are ya sure ya got enough ta eat?"
"Huh?" I swallowed the food in my mouth, "Oh, yeah I'm sure."
Granny put some more food on my plate, "We'll ya a grownin' boy so you need to eat up."
"Uh, Granny. Mickey is a grown adult, remember?" Applejack pointed out, "He just has a shorter lifespan than us ponies due to him not having magic and whatnot."
Oh yeah, I forgot to mention. The ponies here live much longer than humans because they have access to magic, which I find bullshit but that's their explanation. They basically age at one hundredth the rate of a normal human. Normally a pony is considered grown up at 750. But since I'm not a pony, I won't be around as long as they are so due to me being so young in their eyes. I have documentation that specifically states that I'm a legal adult, sometimes people slip up and forget, Granny Smith being one of them but I don't blame her and she's very sweet to me, so I let it slide. This magic access also explains why they're so fucking tall, need them to be in the best shape they can possibly be for this world. I just continued to eat the food that was served to me because it was good.
"Ah shoot, I forgot. I'm sorry." Granny apologized.
I finished my plate and looked up at Granny, "It's fine, I know you didn't mean anything by it, so I don't care. The food is good so I really didn't mind."
"Well that's good, would you like some more?" Granny offered.
"No thank you, I'll just wash my plate and get back to chopping wood." I said as I rinsed off and washed the plate and utensils I had and then went back to work.
"Applejack, I don't care how long he's got on this planet you better marry that stallion." Granny said after I had left.
"GRANNY!" Applejack was flush with embarrassment.
"I agree," Mac spoke up. "He's got a good heart, and he's a great guy. He's just a little...off is all."
"I know what you're sayin'." Applejack nodded. "He's rarely talked about what he's done before he came to Equestria, but when he does I can see that he loses all sense of his soul in his eyes. He's not entirely broken, but he's not right either."
"So, does this mean Mickey is gonna be my new brother?" Apple Bloom asked.
"We'll see Apple Bloom, I don't want to rush him, I know you and your friends think the world of him but these things take time." Applejack patted her sister's head.
"Well ya better not take too much time, I do want ta see great grand foals before I croak." Granny said.
I just inwardly chuckled to myself as I stood right outside the closed door, leaning against the wall as I overheard them. I just jumped over the handrail and landed on the ground, going back to the menial task of chopping wood. I set up the log, sliced through it, and put the pieces on the stack. I repeated this process until all the wood had been chopped and stacked, by the time I was finished a few hours had passed and the sun was still high up in the sky. Applejack was bringing in her wagon full of apples and I walked over to help her.
She looked up as I helped her pull the wagon, "Thanks Mick, I appreciate it."
"No problem." I said as we both pulled the wagon into the barn and started to unload the apples into the barrels.
"Hey Mickey, I was going to go meet up with Twilight and the girls at the castle, you mind coming along?" Applejack asked.
"Sure why not?" I said as I finished unloading the apples. I hopped down from the cart and started to walk with Applejack.
"HEY, BIG MAC! I'M DONE WITH MY CHORES! MICKEY AND I ARE GOING TO TWI'S!" Applejack yelled into the field.
"OKAY!" Mac replied.
Applejack and I departed from the farm and Applejack was looking at me and then looking back at the path in front of her. "So, I heard that you kissed Twilight..."
"Yes? Is that a problem?" I asked one of my girlfriends.
"No, it's no problem. That's just kinda forward for you is all." Applejack said.
"AJ, I'm getting to the point where I'm starting to trust you. I'm being more open with my feelings, more physical as well. If you want me to kiss you, just ask don't beat around the bush, because you know I hate the unnecessary bullshit." I said.
"D'aww fine." Applejack leaned down and gave me a kiss, it was sudden, unexpected, and fuck I liked it.
She soon broke the kiss with me and I just smiled. "It's about fucking time." I murmured. We soon got to Twilight's castle and sat in the room with the table and thrones surrounding it. Well the girls and Spike sat in the thrones, I just leaned against the wall, soon the cutie marks on each throne lit up and the table soon started to glow, then all of a sudden, there was a giant map of Equestria on the table. I looked at the table or...map? "Well, fuck me with a cactus."
Spike woke up from his nap in his throne and looked at the glowing table...map...table, I'm calling it a table. He woke up and looked at the table, "Well...that's new."
"You don't say?" I looked at him with a lethal amount of sarcasm in my voice.
Spike decided to get up and walk on the table, "This has got all of Equestria on it!"
Pinkie looked at her old house and said. "Hi, mom and dad!" Until Spike stepped on it and she looked sad.
"Spike get off of the fucking table, tables are for glasses not for asses." I said and he hopped back into his seat.
"But if this is Ponyville." Fluttershy pointed out, "Why are our cutie marks over there?"
The girls and I looked over to the spot where the girl's cutie marks were floating and it looked like a small town...wait a minute, I recognize that! That's the town I had my spy network do surveillance on, they seem harmless but they're behind a lot of people's disappearances so I had my guys keep a close eye on things maybe there is something going on that I don't know about. My train of thought was halted when Twilight said, "I don't know, but it seems like the map wants us to find out. The Tree, the chest, this castle, and now the map. How can we not follow it?"
"By having some common fucking sense." I said interrupting all of them.
The girls stopped and looked at me, "What's your hang up Mickey?" Rainbow asked.
"Look girls, I know the call to adventure is alluring and all that but you have no idea where the fuck this is, it could be a nest of Changelings for all you know. I say we proceed with caution and whether you like it or not, I'm coming with you."
"I think I'll stay behind with Spike..." Fluttershy mumbled.
"Awesome! Me and Big Mac have a huge weekend ahead of us talkin' hoofball, and... and trading hoofball cards, and arguing about hoofball stats..." Spike said.
"On second thought, I'm coming with you." Fluttershy said.
"Looks like it's time for a road trip." Twilight said.
"Alright, I'm gonna go pack my shit. If you leave without me, you will never see my face again." I left to pack my things and quickly change, I didn't have time for a shower so I just practically bathed myself in deodorant. I walked to the train station and quickly boarded the train with the girls as it puffed towards our new destination. The train soon came to a stop at the requested destination and we got off.
"That's it, that's the place on the map!" Twilight said.
"Looks bland." I grunted as I walked with them, I was ignoring most of the comments but people kept staring and saying welcome. I'm getting a really creepy cult vibe from this place, like Jonestown without all the fucking kool-aid.
Then out came the so called leader, Starlight Glimmer. Chalk another one up for synonyms for Twilight Sparkle. "Welcome I'm so pleased to have you-" She paused and spotted me. She was around 7'2. "Um, what is that?" She pointed at me.
"More like a who is that, bitch." I replied and she reeled back, "Yeah keep your judgements to yourself Ms. Marx."
"Excuse me?" Starlight asked.
I looked at the Main 6, "I'm gonna take a look around town, I'll let you know if I see something." I walked forward but Starlight stepped in front of me.
"Where do you think you're going?" She asked me.
"Like I told my friends, I'm gonna take a look around town. If you want to keep your legs UNbroken, you'll let me pass." I looked up at her, then I walked right past her. The ponies were looking at me but I was already used to the staring. I looked around for a bit, the ponies here were almost entirely naked with only burlap covering themselves up. "Well that can't be very comfortable." I said to myself, then my stomach started to growl so I went over to their "restaurant" The only thing they had was muffins and water..."Not only do they sap the personality out of you but the food as well." I knocked on the door but no one answered.
In fact, where did everyone go? I looked around and saw nobody, except a few people walking towards that mountain with a cave in it...and all my instincts told me to book it towards that cave. I dropped my bag, zipped up my jacket, and hauled all sorts of ass up that mountain. Thank god for stamina training because, if it weren't for that I wouldn't have made it in time to see that the girls were being zapped by a spell...my girls were being hurt, I failed and I snapped . Needless to say, there was nothing holding me back at that point, with a near guttural roar that took Starlight's attention off the girls and onto me. I rushed her tackling her to the ground, my anti magic aura cancelling her spell I grabbed the staff from after she had dropped it, Starlight saw the murderous intent in my eyes and was terrified.
I pressed the staff prongs against her throat and backed her up until she backed up against the vault of cutie marks. Using the staff I held up her wrist and and drove it so hard into the glass that it cracked and shattered and the two prongs were embedded into the rock, trapping her there. I breathed in and out, the thing about being a marine, is control and focus. I needed my focus right now, I went over to Applejack and grabbed her lasso. The ponies were all cheering about getting their cutie marks back but I didn't care about that, I just wanted to protect my girls. One by one I lifted them up and leaned them sitting up against the cave wall, I took gentle care of my Flutters and kissed her on the forehead.
"J-Just what are you?" Starlight asked.
I turned and looked at Starlight with my rage filled eyes. "I'm the monster that you had nightmares about as a child, I'm the only thing that can IGNORE magic and cancel it out." I took out a KA-Bar I had on me and embedded it into the rock next to her head. "You hurt my girls, and in the past I would've taken that stick and shoved it so far up your ass that you would've become a puppet, but I have to be better. Not just for me but for them." I take the lasso and pull out the staff, I tie Starlight up before she could go anywhere. "For crimes that include, kidnapping, brainwashing, and hundreds of accounts of assault including assault on a princess of equestria. I'm placing you Starlight Glimmer under arrest." I finished tying her up.
The other ponies looked at me, one of them spoke up. "Now what do we do?"
"Live your lives, do what you want." I said while sitting on top of Starlight, "Just do me a favor and get my bag from in town, I dropped it near the restaurant."
"I'll go get it." That was said by a purple mare with pigtails.
I continued to sit on Starlight as she rambled on villainous one liners. "I wish I had enough rope to make a gag for you."
"Yeah, I bet then you could get your rocks off." Starlight replied.
"What I'm wondering is what drove you to do all of this? You know to remove people's cutie marks?" I asked, and then Starlight proceeded to tell me what made her do all of this. I just sighed and facepalmed. "Did it ever occur to you to try and reach out to this guy? Starburst or whatever his name is?"
"Sunburst, and no..." Starlight looked down well as far as she could look down with her face in the literal dirt.
"You wanna know what I hate about you ponies? The moment something even relatively sad even happens to you, you let it take over your entire personality, and trust me." I pointed at the elements of harmony. "They're no exception, the instant someone tells Pinkie something they don't like about her or don't like her doing something, is when she gets so depressed that you can't help but give her, her way. Fluttershy could be more confident, but she goes overboard with it the moment she starts to like it. Rarity gets so focused in her work she practically ignores everything else. Applejack can be so stubborn trying to get her to see another way is like trying to tell a mirror not to reflect your image. Rainbow Dash is incredibly arrogant, she puts her interests before others and can be very inconsiderate. Twilight, gets so caught up in checklists and assignments that she had to be assigned to go make friends."
"Your point being?" Starlight asked.
"My point is, that once you ponies get something bad to happen to you, you make it everything about you. Well guess what? Bad shit is going to happen no matter what, you ponies don't know the meaning of moderation, it's either one extreme or another. You're either incredibly nice, or just a straight up asshole, well let me tell you something sweetheart, good guys can do bad things, and bad guys can have good reasons."
Starlight didn't say a word but I looked at the dirt in front of her. Then she finally decided to speak up, "Is there any way I could make up for this?"
I looked at her, then thought about it for a moment, and smiled. "Yep, there is."
"What is it?" She asked.
"Indentured servitude, to me." I said, "Ponies always learn about friendship and stuff like that, and that's all well and good, but what ponies lack is common fucking sense."
"So you're going to teach me common sense?" Starlight asked.
"You bet your sweet ass I will." I untie Starlight and help her up. "I'm not letting you out of my sight either, and if you try to escape you'll get thrown in a dungeon. Do I make myself clear?"
"Crystal." Starlight nodded.
"Alright then, first you've got a lot of people to apologize to and then you have to carry my bags."
"Really?" Starlight asked.
"I said that you were in indentured servitude, and you agreed to it so as far as we're both concerned it's legally binding."
Author's Note
A little bit of revisionist history, this is where the cutie map starts however I didn't want to change the fact that the table was already there so, abusing the alternate universe tag a bit I didn't get rid of it, I just made it activate when the girls sat down altogether. I changed it in previous chapters. Originally I also had a bit where Mickey took the staff of sameness and shoved it up Starlight's ass, but after mulling it over I think that would've been TOO hardcore. That may have lost a lot viewers and a lot of people's respect for me.
Twilight and the girls were obviously unsure about how easily I was willing to give Starlight another chance, but then I reminded them about Discord and Luna and they quickly changed their tones. Starlight was obviously run out of town after getting her stuff and she did carry my bags, it's just that it's going to be a long walk to the next train station so I might as well get comfortable with walking. Starlight was huffing a bit but she still kept up as we walked, hmm what can I do to make her keep up with us? I formulated a plan and held out my hand. "Just give me my bag back, it's obvious you can't handle it."
"What?" Starlight said, "I can so." She hefted my backpack and sped up her pace. Maybe I'll train her, put her through the 13 weeks of hell that I went through. Making ponies into marines? That'll be a fucking sight to behold, I at least had some suggestions written to Princess Celestia, before this whole cutie table map bullshit started. Like making the military wear camouflage, y'know instead of having them stick out like sore fucking thumbs on a battlefield. I digress, there was still plenty of walking to do and nothing so I whistled a tune, specifically the tune from Kill Bill Volume 1. It was just to fill the silence, because I couldn't think of anything better to do.
"Okay, I'm going to say it, WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU MICKEY?!" Rainbow suddenly burst out at me.
"The fuck did I do to you?" I asked looking up at the pissed prismatic pegasus.
"You looked like you were going to kill Starlight not even an hour ago and now she's what? Your slave?" Rainbow crossed her arms while hovering above me.
"Rainbow !" Twilight shouted.
"No, that's a completely reasonable question to ask Twilight, and I'll explain. Rainbow, I'm a marine a killing machine broken down and rebuilt for war, but war isn't just about throwing armies at each other and hoping you'll win, half of all war is also about diplomacy. Which suggests I've also been trained to be diplomatic as well as ripping out your lower intestine and choking you to death with it as you watch." I explained, "If I can avoid a fight, you bet your sweet mother fucking rainbow colored ass that I'm going to take all the steps necessary to do so. From what I've seen from you ponies, you tend to go from one extreme to the next without trying to find a fucking middle ground, basically lacking the common fucking sense in your head so much so that it needs to be taught, let me reiterate. It needs to be taught !"
"We have common sense!" Rainbow attempted to defend herself and fellow ponykind.
"Common sense should tell you not to set off rainbow themed sonic booms around a residential area but you do it anyways, it should've also told Twilight not to waste all night studying and get a regular amount of sleep." I slowly broke down her defense. "Do you want me to continue because I can go on. I can point out every one of your character flaws right here and now and tell you why they're fucking idiotic as all known hell."
"We'll you're not perfect either Mick." AJ said.
"Oh, I'm a fucking nutcase on the best of days and I know it, but at least I take some time to do a little self reflection every now and again." I said while walking ahead. "The train station shouldn't be that far ahead now."
The girls stood there while Starlight walked with me. Starlight looked down at me, "Hey um, thanks for defending me back there..." She said nervously.
"I wasn't standing up for you I was explaining the reasoning behind my actions. You want someone to stand up for you, look in the fucking mirror." I said, "Although you standing up for yourself might come across as you being hostile so I wouldn't do so at this moment. Just take your licks for right now, it'll toughen you up a bit."
"I don't get it." Starlight said.
"You were practically the head of a cult that kept people away from their friends and family all because you thought cutie marks were a curse." I said. "You're fucking lucky you're only getting off with indentured servitude. In my world you would've been locked away for several decades, in the same building as people who like to murder."
"M-Murder?" Starlight asked with a hint of fear in her voice.
"Yeah, I come from a fucked up place. You'll learn about it very extensively while living with me, and you'll also learn the bullshit of this world and how to avoid most of it. Some bullshit you have to go through, just out of principal. Like paying taxes, or being sick. Fucking sucks but you got no choice." I said as I hopped onto the platform of the train station. "Two tickets to Ponyville." I looked up at the ticket taker or whatever the fuck they're called. I usually just call them service people because they provide me with a service I need. I sat on a bench as the other girls caught up and I looked at them not saying a thing.
Fluttershy looked at me and then looked at the girls. "Um, is this our first fight?"
"It could be, we're still a herd right?" Twilight asked.
"Yeah we are." I answered.
"Um...mind filling me in here?" Starlight asked.
Twilight cleared her throat and began to speak, "Mickey is in a relationship with Myself, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, and Fluttershy. He's the most viable candidate to give us male offspring because of his genetics."
"Oh yeah, the whole male to female population ratio." Starlight nodded.
"We in return, help keep him sane and sociable." Twilight said, "I'm only divulging this information to you because you're a fellow scholar and I feel that you have the right to be informed, make a move on our man and I will not hesitate to banish you to the nth dimension."
Starlight gulped, "Duly noted."
"You're almost sexy when you're trying to threaten people Twimight." I chuckled, "I however, have heard soul shatteringly worse threats from my drill instructors."
"How so?" Twilight asked.
"One said that he would shove me back into my mother so that way I could be born a man. Another said they would slap me so fucking hard that I would become a boy, so that way I had the chance to become a man. The rest were filled with swears about how I was this, that, and the other." I answered.
"Just where in tartarus do you come from?" Starlight stared at me.
"A place that's a few steps away from wiping itself out of existence." I commented, "It's fun I should take you sometime."
"I'd rather not." Starlight looked down, "Is it too late to ask for a jail sentence?"
"Yes." I answered her obviously rhetorical question.
"He's joking, besides he couldn't go back to his planet if he wanted to." Twilight said and got a glare from me and then she realized her mistake, "Oops."
"See, it's shit like that. That shit is why common sense has to be taught." I look at Starlight while pointing at Twilight, "If she had a modem of common sense she wouldn't have put her foot in her mouth like she just did. Princess or not Twilight should've known that I would've parted with that information on my own given time."
"Mickey, I-" Twilight started but was cut off by another glare from me. "I've got no excuse, your information and privacy is not something for us to give out so liberally. I apologize."
"The train is coming." I said not showing any emotion in that brief sentence. I don't like being angry, anger is a tool used to focus on an enemy, but it's a balancing act you remember the board game Topple? Yeah it's a lot like that, now normally people would just use scales but emotions are much more that just one or two, there are hundreds of them. I want to be happy but these ponies keep overstepping in places that they shouldn't, I get they're trying their best to be helpful but I need to go at it at my own pace not theirs. The train pulled up and we took out seats, sitting in relative silence as we went back to Ponyville. I sat alone, staring out the window watching the trees go by.
Twilight came over and sat in front of me. "Hey."
I turned my attention towards her, "Hi."
"Mickey, I don't want us to fight. Could you please just tell me what's going on?"
"Sometimes I don't get you girls, you believe in redeeming people like Discord but when it's sudden you're not all for it." I say, "It's like you have to meet them twice or they have to be able to benefit you in some way in order for them to be considered 'redeemable' Starlight was misguided but not evil. With the correct guidance she could be a great benefit to the world."
"Why so suddenly?" Twilight asked, "I know that we believe in redeeming ponies but that takes time. You're expecting us to trust someone who was trying to take away our cutie marks not even hours ago."
"You expect me to trust you with everything I know immediately but I don't. I'm not saying you have to trust her, I know these things will take time. What I am saying is trust me ."
Twilight paused and then looked in my eyes, "Okay."
"You're still wondering if we're fighting are you?" I asked her. "Just to clear the air, we're not so let's change the fucking subject, right now."
"We really care for you, but we understand why you want to go slow." Twilight said obviously agreeing to what I had decided upon seconds ago, "I did hear that you kissed Applejack."
"I kissed you first, are you jealous?" I asked.
"Technically, you kissed Zecora first." Twilight pointed out.
"Potato, potahto." I waved my hand. "I'm guessing that's why Rainbow Dash had a sudden case of period rage." I told Twilight who shuddered.
"Sunset explained to me what those were. I...I still can't believe that human mares go through something like that."
"Women, they're called women." I said, "But I'm guessing Rainbow is jealous that she didn't get a kiss."
"She'll never admit it but yes." Twilight said, "She wants a kiss."
"Then she should just ask, it's not a once in a blue moon type shit." I stare at Rainbow who looked away.
"Don't be passive aggressive, it doesn't suit you." Twilight looked at me, "I never noticed this but your hair is getting pretty long."
"Hmm?" I heard what she noted and then looked at my reflection in the window. My hair had become shoulder length and I had grown a beard. "Huh, I must've not noticed."
"How could you have not noticed?" Twilight asked.
"That whole shit with the anti magic could've done it, before that I was settling down to moving into Ponyville, and way before that I was thinking that I was going insane from living in the woods for too long. So yeah I probably wasn't paying attention to the length of my hair or the fact that I grew a beard." I said.
"I like the beard, it makes you look ruggedly handsome, however. I think you look better with short hair." Twilight reached out and gently ran her fingers through my hair.
"You do realize that that's the only time you're going to do that right?" I said, "So, you better enjoy it."
"I will then." Twilight sat next to me and gently caressed my head, running her fingers through my hair.
"Do you think the others will get jealous?" I asked her.
Twilight whispered in my ear, "If they do, I'll punish them."
"Never took you to be a dom Twi, more like a shy sub." I whispered.
"You'd be surprised at Fluttershy then." Twilight lightly nipped my neck. "Whenever you're ready." She rubbed my lap, I knew what she was aiming at.
"Gimme another month or so, maybe then if I'm comfortable enough." I whispered.
"Take all the time you need, we'll entertain ourselves in the meantime." Twilight winked and stood up joining the other girls talking with them.
"Hmm, Fluttershy." I looked over at the girls and they stopped their conversation. Fluttershy looked at me and I just used the classic two finger wave motion to get her to come over to me. She got up and slowly made her way over to me as I got up. "Sit down."
"Pardon?" Fluttershy questioned.
"Sit down with your legs facing the aisle, please." I asked her and she sat down, I gently parted her legs a bit and sat down and leaned against her. "Hold me."
Fluttershy lightly gasped, slowly wrapping her arms around me, Flutter Snuggles are best snuggles. My eyes darted over to the girls, over to Starlight, then Fluttershy softly whispered into my ear. "I've got you, it's okay."
"Thank you." I closed my eyes.
Several days had passed since we got back from Our Town and I was building an extension to my cabin, because she was physically too big to live with me so for the moment she was sleeping at Twilight's place, at my request of course. It felt like I was building another fucking cabin, but Starlight learned a spell to change her size but only for a few hours and she couldn't do it while sleeping. While I was away, my roof had sprung a leak so I was fixing that as well as building Starlight's room, speaking of Starlight. I made her do a very special job, and that is...to charge my phone and iPod. I've gone three years without listening to my music so I'm pretty fucking excited when I heard that she could do that. I had Mac helping me out, this shit would be so much easier if I had my power tools. I'd get this job done a lot faster, but the best I can ask for is some more help and Mac had nothing better to do since all the apples had been harvested ahead of schedule thanks to my help.
Starlight was sitting on top of the 1970's dodge charger I had in my backyard she just looked up at me while I was fixing my roof. "So how long am I supposed to sit here charging these things?"
"Until they reach 100% then you can stop, you'll do this once every week or so, just contemplate on what you did wrong and where you could've done something different." I said as I removed some shingles and saw the source of the leak in my house. I climbed down the ladder and grabbed a plank of wood and measured it out so that it would fit, I took a pencil out of my tool belt and made a mark. Mac was busy building the outer walls for Starlight's room, well I had most of the framework for the extension already built and Mac was putting panels on the outer wall. While I was busy concentrating on cutting the wood with the hand saw I had I heard a whistle from Mac and he nodded over to the path I looked up to see that Twilight was coming up the path with some people following her. There was Twilight, Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, and two people I've never met. "Why are they coming here?"
Mac just shrugged and said. "Dunno."
"Fuck, I was seeking sage like wisdom from a farmhand and got jack shit. There goes my fall back plan." I said as I stopped sawing and walked up to Twilight. "Hello Twifright."
Luna smirked at that and Twilight sighed. "How many times have we been over this? That my name is Twilight?"
"470." I answered. "But who's counting?"
"You are, obviously." Twilight muttered.
"What are you all doing here, I distinctly remember not inviting you." I said with my arms crossed.
"Well there was the annual Royal Summit at the palace and well, my brother and Cadence have never met you so I thought it would be nice if you met them." Twilight scratched the back of her head.
"If you had sent anyone else ahead of you, you would've learned that I am busy repairing a hole in my roof and making a room for Starlight to stay in."
"Ah yes we had heard of this Starlight Glimmer." Luna spoke up.
"Did you see it in a thesaurus next to the name Twilight Sparkle?" I joked and Luna laughed, "At least someone gets my humor, also you slipped up." I pointed out.
"Darn, I was hoping you wouldn't notice." Luna crossed her arms.
"When did you two become buddy-buddy?" Celestia asked.
"None of your damn business that's when." I said when the White Stallion was about to say something I piped up with, "Shut it assclown."
"Mickey, that's my older brother Shining Armor." Twilight pointed out.
"Huh, never thought he'd look so stupid." I spoke up, "You told me about him but you never gave any descriptive details."
"He's not stupid!" Twilight shouted. "Aaand you're playing with me aren't you."
"Be careful, it's learning." I said and walked up to him. "Sorry, I didn't mean anything by it, I'm Mickey Young." I held out my hand and he slowly took it.
"Shining Armor Sparkle." He said.
"I'm going to address you as Armor from now on, and don't object because you have no choice." I told Armor.
I went over to the pink princess and sighed. "Like I said, I'm Mickey Young and you are?"
"My name is Mi Amore Cadenza. But you can call me Cadence." Cadence replied.
"What?" I asked.
"I said-" Cadence started but I cut her off.
"No, no. I know what you said, but you do know that your name literally translates to I love Cadence." I sighed. "Your parents must've hated you as a child."
"I-uh...really?" Cadence looked around, mostly looking at Celestia who just shrugged.
"Now if you'll excuse me, I still have an extension of my cabin to build and a leak to repair." I said and went back to work.
"Come on Mickey, you've been working all day. Don't you think it's time to take a break?" Starlight asked.
"If I wanted your opinion Twilight Lite. I would've asked for it, just keep charging my devices and maybe I'll ask for it when you've gotten all the cult out of your system." I said as I started to cut another piece of wood.
"Come on Mick, you've worked yourself ragged." Mac pointed out.
"When don't I?" I asked.
"You have a point, but still all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy." Mac said.
"Wish I never told you that fucking phrase." I said as I finished cutting the wood. I begrudgingly took off my tool belt and tossed it to Mac, "I trust you enough to finish fixing my roof."
"What about Starlight's room?" Mac asked.
"That's not going to get finished today." I lamented, "Sorry Starbright."
"I think your devices are done charging." Starlight said and I grabbed my iPod to see it was 100% charged. "What was this supposed to teach me again?"
"Using your magic selflessly." I said as I put in the passcode for my iPod and opened up the music app. To see the musicians from my world to be revived temporarily almost brought a tear to my eye. Almost , I only cry when I get hit in the balls, that was one time when I accidentally snuck up on Pinkie and she kicked my nards into the next dimension. I sighed and joined Twilight, Luna, Celestia, Cadence, and Armor. "What are we doing?"
"We were going to join the girls and go out to eat." Twilight said.
"Can I get drunk?" I asked.
"That's your answer for everything." Twilight sighed.
"Not everything, but most things." I said as I walked with them.
"So, you're in a relationship with a functioning alcoholic?" Armor asked.
"Who said I was functioning?" I asked Shining but Twilight answered.
"Yeah, that's true. You're barely sociable on a good day, let alone one of your worst days."
"How can you tell the difference?" Luna asked.
"Pinkie sneaks by in the morning, and by sneaks I mean she does a terrible job at it. Generally if I'm having coffee I'm doing a bit better, if I'm pounding beers back like I want to kill myself with alcohol poisoning then they take it as a sign that I'm not one to be trifled with that day." I said.
"Wait, you knew?" Twilight asked.
"Pinkie Pie is bright neon pink against a plain green field and can't resist the urge to say good morning to everyone." I pointed out. "You couldn't have done worse if you had sent a giant letter saying 'we're checking up on you to make sure you're still alive and haven't hung yourself!'"
"Wait, what?" Cadence said, "You aren't actually suicidal are you?"
"For a long time I was." I answered Cadence, "I was experimented on against my consent and will, and was attempted to be made into a sex machine to help improve the pony population with no fucking say in the matter. When I left I had this lingering feeling that I was going to be tracked down, captured, and strapped to a table for a mare to fuck me every day for the rest of my life, hence why I chose the everfree forest to live in."
Twilight, Luna, Armor, and Cadence all looked up at Celestia. Who was just flush with embarrassment, "I don't have anything to really say, that was really, really, really, stupid of me to try to do." Celestia answered.
"No, it wasn't stupid. It was borderline psychopathic is what it was." I said, "Either way I think we're here."
The other girls were almost shocked when I showed up with the royals. They soon got over it as they knew I was progressing towards a more sociable lifestyle. They were having their picnic and I was sitting a little ways off to the side, I had a beer in one hand that I was slowly sipping, the alcohol was provided by Pinkie and her magical pink locks of hair. I was minding my own business, relaxing in the sun with my eyes closed until my sunlight was blocked by a looming shadow. I took another sip of my beer, "Whoever has the balls to block out my relaxation time, I don't care who you are. You're soon going to be a dead motherfucker if you don't move."
The shadow soon moved and then spoke up, "So I've only heard stories about you through letters that Twilight sends Cadence and I. So you're something like a guard?"
I opened my eyes and looked at Armor, "Something like a guard, yes. I don't like to talk about it."
"Shining, leave him alone please." Twilight asked and Armor looked at his sister.
"But, Twily-" Armor began but Twilight cut him off.
"But nothing, if we had constantly pestered and pried information from him he wouldn't be as open as he is right now." Twilight crossed her arms looking at Armor.
I got up, "No, no he's fine to ask. I'll explain it like this. Armor, you're a guard. I'm a marine, you protect people, I kill people. It's that fucking simple." I sat back down, "Now if you'll excuse me sir I've got some relaxing to do." I go back to drinking my beer.
Armor was shocked, he couldn't think anything to say. Cadence stood next to him and sat him down, she looked to Twilight, "You girls are alright with this? Are you alright knowing he's a...killer?"
"When in the throes of war, people do things that they would have no other choice to do. It's not pretty but very necessary." Fluttershy said.
"You're quoting me aren't you?" I asked Fluttershy and she nodded.
"It's sad to hear, but I accept it. It helps make you who you are, we can't change it but we can always help you."
"That's why you're one of the best Fluttershy." I said and finished my beer.
"W-what about me?" Celestia asked while blushing a bit.
"You're doing better, but you're not the best." I crushed the can and tossed it into the garbage nearby. "Three points."
"So what are your plans for the future Mickey?" Cadence asked.
"Teach Starlight some common sense and then keep working, got nothing better to do." I shrugged.
"What about...relationship wise?" Cadence asked.
"I know what you're doing, and I know your description. You are the princess of love, however I have some problems with that, love is an all encompassing emotion and feeling that can be anywhere at anytime, so my question to you is. Are you omnipotent?" I asked her.
"Um...no..." Cadence answered.
"So what you're saying is that you don't encompass love despite being the princess?" I asked.
"I'm more like a love advisor?" Cadence said. "If I see love between two ponies, I use my magic to assist with that."
"So you're drugging them?" I asked.
"What!?!" Cadence had a wild look in her eyes.
"As far as I know, the emotion of love is just a concoction of chemicals in the brain that compels someone to produce offspring, in other words. Love is just a chemical that compels animals to breed it hits hard and then it slowly fades what you're doing is maximising the output of those chemicals and could cause serious damage."
"I-No I haven't!" Cadence indignantly replied.
"Have you ever followed up with a couple after you quote unquote magically assisted them?" I asked, "Did you ever see the result of your meddling? Did you see what lives you could've ruined? What if the pony you helped was already in a relationship and you just compelled them to cheat on their significant other? Did you ever think about that?"
Cadence opened her mouth to speak but no words came out. Luna spoke up, "Mickey, I don't like where this is going. Is there a point to what you're saying? Because right now you're sounding like a cold, heartless bastard."
"While I don't doubt that one person could grow to love another given time, I hardly believe in love at first sight. Love is slow and takes time to develop, it took time for Armor and Cadence, but it took time as well." I said. "Even then, I bet you magically assisted Armor when he was having doubts about the relationship between the two of you."
"I-I..." Shining said and shook his head. "What? I've never had doubts about our relationship."
"Yet you couldn't tell a changeling queen apart from your own fiance." I said. "You couldn't notice what a bitch she was being to the person that she used to babysit."
"So what? Are you saying that whenever I had doubts in our relationship that my wife brainwashed me?" Armor asked.
"I'm not explicitly stating that, but let it sink in and you'll see some logic in it." I said. "I could be wrong, it wouldn't be the first time. I wouldn't hedge all my bets on it."
"Well, I've never had any doubts." Shining said.
"I think I should've done more research before making two ponies fall madly in love with each other." Cadence scratched the back of her head.
"Or, you could try...NOT doing that." I said, "Seriously, you're a princess not a marriage counselor. Be one or the other, not both."
Cadence opened her mouth and shut it. Applejack spoke up, "Mickey's logic strikes again, putting ponies in their place."
"How many times has something like this happened?" Luna asked.
"Many, that's all I have to say." I put my hands behind my head and lay down.
"Yeah, Mickey has this whole thing about ponies not having foresight and common sense and to be quite fair, he does have a bit of a point." Rarity said.
"How so?" Armor asked.
"He points out things that could potentially endanger others, and ponies stop doing them." Rainbow said. "In hindsight, it's mostly just us."
"Just you as in?" Celestia asked.
"Noise complaints for the sonic rainbooms, compensation for the damages we cause in town, in fact we have now over 1000 hours of community service, for each of us." Applejack said.
"But you're the elements of harmony! Why would they do that?" Armor asked.
"Because no one is above the law." I pointed out and he shut up immediately. "It was my idea. They're national heroes, yes. Diplomats with immunity to the law, no. Besides, what happens if one of these adventures in town goes awry and kills someone, say a child. They now know that they're directly responsible for a child dying when they could've avoided it."
"Yeah when Mickey pointed that out, we decided that we would try to be a little bit more responsible. I mean, ponies look up to us what kind of role models would we be if we ran around destroying everything?" Twilight said and the princesses nodded.
"1000 hours of community service though?" Armor asked.
"Quite frankly, that's getting off light considering everything we've done." Applejack said, "The city had a file several feet thick, but somehow Faust blessed Mick with a silver tongue and he whittled down our sentences to community service."
"Silver tongue I'd like to ride." Rainbow smirked and Fluttershy slapped her on the back of the head. "OW!"
"We're in the presence of royalty, even if we're friendly it doesn't give you an excuse to be tasteless." Fluttershy said.
"Wow, you've almost completely changed Fluttershy's behavioral patterns." Luna observed.
"Well, that's nearly completely of her own accord." I stated.
"All tastelessness aside, Mickey has showed us that we should take responsibility for our actions. He's also taught us that we should consider others before ourselves, just because we're friends with royalty doesn't mean we should abuse our positions as heroes." Pinkie said between chowing down on food that she baked.
"So he's affected your lives in a more positive way?" Celestia asked.
The girls looked at each other then, looked at me. "Well, he may be crude." Twilight started.
"Rash." Rarity included.
"Stubborn." AJ said.
"Drunk." Rainbow mentioned.
"Irritable." Fluttershy nodded.
"And mean." Pinkie finished.
"But he's the reality check that we desperately needed." Twilight summarized. "He's not willing to bend his convictions to thinking like a pony and quite frankly I think it's something we've needed for a long time, an outside perspective. To see where we could go wrong and hopefully better ourselves."
"Any more compliments and I may just blush." I chuckled to myself.
"I'm glad he found us." Fluttershy said, "He's helped us grow up."
"It was a little long overdue in hindsight." Rainbow scratched the back of her head and grinning.
"What about the other member of your herd? The Zebra Shammaness?"
"Zecora was called back to her village in Zebrica to help with the children with a disease they picked up from a strange plant that's usually native to the Everfree. She should be back any day now." I explained. They all looked at me, and I just replied. "D-mail."
They all nodded in understanding, while I grabbed another beer out of Pinkie's mane. "How are you doing that?" Celestia asked
"Pinkie's mane is something that the laws of physics can't define." I opened the beer can and stabbed a hole in the top. "Also it's kinda like a fridge."
"Basically, we've given up trying to understand Pinkie Pie." Twilight said. "It's...exhausting."
"Yes, I recall the letter you sent afterwards." Celestia said.
"Yeah." Twilight hung her head.
"What's this?" I asked, "I've never heard this before."
"It's was around the time when I first moved into Ponyville." Twilight began to spun the tale of her trying to understand Pinkie, thing is...I lied well half lied. I knew the story, but I wanted to hear was Twilight's side of things, it was nice just to sit there and relax. Taking in the little things, and enjoying the moment with friends old and new. Maybe, just maybe I could get used to living in this hellhole that is known as the land of Equestria gonna take some time though. But I've come this far, and like Queen said, don't stop me now. I'm having a good time.
Author's Note
D-mail a.k.a. Dragon Mail, Spike helped him.
Also check out my blog post please.
Author's Note
Contains: Sexy sex, will put a page break before and after if you want to skip it. Will contain kinks, so if you do proceed with reading it, you have been warned. Also I have a new fic out called Chasing Shadows, read it if you want to, or don't. I can't control what you do.
Journal Entry #22 (NSFW)
Starlight was at work at the moment, she usually picks up night shifts and sleeps during the day. She then leaves a little black book and I run through all the rumors and select the names, I then get some people who live near Ponyville to follow persons of interest to see if there was any truth to the rumors surrounding them. I was, very bored and work had settled down while the Apples still paid me for my time and for me being an employee, it didn't help me. Autumn and winter are terrible seasons for me, because it gives me very little to do . I had already read my books and I'm more than convinced that I've read all the books in the library at this point.
I'm just...bored, I was sitting in my chair inside my house and looked out the window, mostly at the Charger in my backyard. Discord has said that anything I wanted it would be mine. I looked down and then looked back up at that classic car, I breathed through my nose and stood up saying, "Fuck it." To no one in particular, I exited my house and looked towards Fluttershy's place. I started walking towards her house, while allowing myself the joy of smiling a bit since no one was looking at me. Fluttershy was the girl who tried the hardest given her demeanor, I felt kinda insulted after the fact that people were willing to let me rot... that's something I should bring to the forefront of their attention as well. Their ignorance, their outta sight outta mind state of thinking. I'll save that for a later date though, I knew either one of two things was going to happen today, either I was going to start working on that Charger and get it into a running shape, or I was going to bang Fluttershy.
I walked up to Fluttershy's cottage door and knocked on it, "Coming!" I heard the owner of the cottage speak, so I just waited patiently. The door soon opened to reveal Fluttershy in a crop top and a short skirt and within that moment my mind was made up, Fluttersex was the only thing on my mind. "Oh, Mickey!" She was surprised, "I had no idea you were coming, I would've tidied up a bit if I had known."
"It's fine, I was looking for Discord. Truth be told, I was just bored today. I made Starlight get a job and I've got no work until zap apple season." I admitted.
"Oh, well I can send him a letter. I don't know how long it would take to get to him, where he lives is...weird on a good day."
"C'est la vie." I shrugged.
"Oh you know Prench?" Fluttershy asked.
"No, but there's a similar language on earth called French, I don't know how similar it is to your version." I said gesturing inside, "May I come in?"
"Oh, yes!" Fluttershy was excited, "Sorry for the mess, I just got done feeding the animals."
"That's fine, you don't have to worry about Discord right now either, I just wanted some company. Something or someone to give me some meaningless work so I won't go insane." I looked at Fluttershy, she looked worried, "That was a joke."
"Oh!" Fluttershy chuckled. It sounded a little forced, maybe it's a little too soon for self-deprecation.
"Well at least I know avoid open mic night at the chuckle barn." I smirked.
"I didn't mean to insinuate that you weren't funny!" Fluttershy started to panic and I held up a hand.
"You're fine, given a little more time maybe my jokes will hit home." I smirked, "I'm still looking for busy work, you think you have anything for me to do?"
"Well, my chicken coop has seen better days, it's getting a little rickety. I've had to bring my chickens in for the past few days, do you think you could rebuild it?"
"I'd have to take a look at it first." I rubbed my chin, lightly tussling the rough beard hairs that accompanied the lower part of my jaw.
"I'll show the way, if you don't mind that is." Fluttershy rubbed her hands together.
I gestured outside, "Lead on."
Fluttershy walked outside and showed me the chicken coop, and she was correct in that it had seen better days. I looked at it, it does need to be rebuilt but I could reinforce it to at least stay standing until I can get more materials, I should have enough leftover wood from building Starlight's room to do so. Fluttershy looked at me, "What do you think?"
I told her what I could do and she nodded, I retrieved my tools and the spare pieces of wood. I then started to measure, cut, and hammer in the spare pieces. Fluttershy went back inside and washed the dishes, she sighed contently as she watched me work. "This is nice." She said to herself.
I soon finished reinforcing the coop and walked back into the cottage, "That should do it, but it will only be temporary. I can build you a new one next week but it will take some time."
Fluttershy looked at me, "Oh my, you're very sweaty and dirty. You think you should take a shower?"
"Eh, yeah I think I'll head home..." I trailed off in an attempt to lead Fluttershy into it.
"You could...shower here." Fluttershy fidgeted.
Like it's been stated before, I have very good hearing. So I heard what she said and I smirked when she said that. "If you insist." I walk up to her bathroom, I knew where it was at this point, and I opened the door. Fluttershy was almost immediately after me, I looked back at her. "You know, I don't have a spare change of clothes. Do you mind if I just hand mine to you so you can wash them?" I asked her as I looked up at her.
Fluttershy blushed as she nodded and I hopped into the shower. She ran down to her laundry room and put the clothes in the wash she then took a deep breath and looked at all of her animal friends, "Now, you all understand that Mickey is in fact our boyfriend and if I think I know what he's saying then for the first time I won't be the innocent ignorant little Fluttershy that everypony thinks of me as. I say this with the most respect I can muster, I need the entire house." The animals looked at each other and then started to leave, one by one until there was just one left. Angel Bunny, her first ever pet. "I'm sorry Angel Bunny but I mean every animal, need I remind you that I gave you the same respect when you had Snowball over." Angel didn't say or pantomime a thing, he just took out a box and threw it at her. Fluttershy looked at the box and grew red in the face, "I won't ask how you got these, but thank you." Angel nodded and left the cottage. Fluttershy looked at the box again, "Is that Pinkie?"
I finished with my shower and dried myself off, wrapping my waist in a towel. I opened the door and walked down the stairs to see Fluttershy sitting in her chair drinking some tea, presumably to calm her nerves after the hints I was dropping. "Hello Flutters." I said.
Fluttershy just looked at me, but she couldn't hide the blush on her face. "H-Hello Mickey."
"You look nervous." I smirked, "What are you scared of?"
"I'm not nervous. I'm excited, if you're saying what I think you're saying then... you're ready to take the next step?" Fluttershy asked.
"Only with you, I've done a lot of thinking and rereading of my journal. The one person, or should I say, pony that never gave up on me was you." I said, "You were the one who constantly checked up on me, making sure I wasn't swinging from the rafters of my home. You've been there for me ever since I crashed into your life and you've always been supportive and understanding. I don't think I would share my first experience of making love other than with you."
"What about Zecora?" Fluttershy asked, "Weren't you...banging?"
"There's a difference between just sex and making love, I told her and she understood. Things may change in the future, but for now. My official first time making love, would be with you." I stated. "If you're willing."
"YES!" Fluttershy nearly jumped out of her chair, but still showing some restraint. "Yes I am."
"Well then." I held out my hand, "To the bedroom milady?"
Fluttershy got up and gently took my hand into hers, walking up to her bedroom going back up the stairs and past the threshold of her quaint little room. Fluttershy is a very modest woman, so she keeps her room nice and clean and here I was sitting on her bed with only just a towel wrapped around my waist. Fluttershy sat next to me as I went in for a kiss she stopped me with a hand on my wet chest, "Just so you know, I'm not like this when it comes to intimacy. Especially for...sex."
"How bad are we talking?" I asked, "Because I don't want to invest in some pain pills and viagra. Mixing the two are very dangerous for me."
"I like to...tie up my lovers, and I like to be on top..." Fluttershy blushed again.
"Okay, few ground rules then. No pain, unless I ask for it. Don't tie up my legs, or ankles, or anything below the waist. My arms are fine but I feel like I need to have some control, and absolutely no choking."
"Okay, do we need a safety word?" Fluttershy asked.
"Spearboinkle." I said, and Fluttershy looked confused, "It's a long story but, it makes the person confused and snaps them out of whatever fervor they were in."
"Okay." Fluttershy then removed her hand on my chest and closed the gap allowing us to kiss for the first time, and must I say. The pearly gates of heaven couldn't compare to the paradise that is the lips of this woman. She gently cradled my head in her large yet soft hand, her other hand was firmly placed on my ass. Our tongues danced a tango of passion and we soon broke our kiss to regain some oxygen. Fluttershy was blushing and I was grinning like an idiot, but I soon frowned and Fluttershy became worried, "Is something wrong? Did I mess up?"
"No, here I am sitting in a damp towel and you're still in your clothes. Isn't that a little unfair?" I asked.
"Oh!" Fluttershy took off her crop top and slowly slipped her short skirt off revealing her plain white bra and panties, "Do you want me to take off my underwear?"
"I want to do that myself." I said, "In return you can take my towel off."
"I think we can do that." Fluttershy smiled and we soon kissed again.
This time she gently pushed me down onto the bed and started kissing my neck and my breathing started to hitch and she looked at me, and could tell I was enjoying it. She continued to kiss, lick, and suck on my neck. Causing my member to rise, she took one peak at the towel and her eyes widened. I looked at my 15 inch member with a bit of disappointment. "I hate it." I said suddenly.
"What? Why would you hate it?" Fluttershy asked.
"Because it's not mine, not entirely. Yes, it's a part of me but it's a constant reminder that I was nothing more than an experiment at one point." I said.
"Let's see if we can change that." Fluttershy said and she gently grasped it, her hand wrapping around the towel and my dick.
I slightly grinned, "I'm not opposed to that."
"Good, but I think we need to remove this." Fluttershy tugged at the towel but looking into my eyes, as if she were asking for consent. I slightly nodded and she continued with her action, completely taking off the towel and revealing my completely nude body, Fluttershy took a moment to stare. She then tentatively touched it, which elicited a sharp intake of air and my body tensing up a bit. She noticed but to counteract my hesitation she kissed my neck, relieving my tension just a bit. She then started to stroke my erect cock and soon my muscles relaxed, the throes of pleasure flooded my brain and nothing else mattered at the moment. I started to moan slightly, Fluttershy took this as a good sign and kissed down my body and soon reached my cock.
She licked from the base and trailed her tongue all the way up to the tip, causing me to moan out in pleasure. "Fluttershy~"
"Call me mama, or ma'am." She winked, and proceeded to take the tip of my dick into her mouth and start to slowly work her way down.
I closed my eyes as she kept sucking and gently massaging my cock with her warm throat. "Mmm, fuck~"
Fluttershy heard this, so she slapped my ass lightly and took my member out of her mouth. "We may be doing this, but the house rules still apply. Do you understand?" She looked at me.
"Yes ma'am." I gulped lightly, but my dick told a different story. It twitched in anticipation that I couldn't quite control, well not entirely anyways. Fluttershy went back to licking it and then stopped once more.
Making me unconsciously whine in disappointment, Fluttershy looked at me with a motherly gaze. "Don't be like that baby. I think your trooper could use some company~" She drew her hand down her neck, to her collarbone and over her glorious 43DD tits all while using her other hand to lightly tease and touch my pulsating dick. Fluttershy moved up and lay on top of me, "Well? What are you waiting for?" Oh right that whole if you undress me I undress you. I forgot about that when the cutest mare in the world was blowing me. I smirked a tiny bit and reached for it but she smacked my hand away. "What do we say when we want something?" She asked.
"Please?" I asked.
Fluttershy kissed my cheek, "Good boy." She then allowed me to unhook her bra and toss it aside, her breasts spilling out for me to see, she was always a naturally beautiful woman. It reflected well in her body, and her nipples were perfectly pink and looked like they could cut through diamond. She smiled at me and then went back to my dick this time wrapping her tits around it and licking the head of my cock while rubbing her tits up and down the shaft.
I hummed in pleasure as she gave me the best titjob I've ever had but I felt like I could do more, "Fl-Mama, can I help you?" I asked her.
"You're okay baby, you'll get your chance to please me in a minute. Okay?" Fluttershy said and then took my cock back into her mouth, continuing with what she was doing earlier.
Her actions had caused me to moan once more and I could feel the anticipation of my seed ready to be dispersed. "I'm gonna-"
"Do it baby, I want you to do it for your mama~" Fluttershy said and kept going with her tits, this time she was rubbing the opposite of one another and squeezing them together, trapping my cock in a soft but perfect vice. I moaned out and I began to shoot my seed into Fluttershy's eagerly awaiting mouth. Fluttershy opened her mouth as the last spurts of my cum shot out onto her face and tits. She stared at me as she swallowed what was in her mouth and scooped the cum that was on her tits up with one finger and licked that finger seductively. "It's salty."
"And you're sexy." I breathed out.
"You wanted to please me, the way I pleased you didn't you?" Fluttershy asked and all I could do was nod, "It's okay sweetie, we can take care of that later, right now I'm gonna tie you to the bed and have you make a mare out of me." Fluttershy slyly smiled, "But first, you get to unwrap the final part."
"Are you sure about this Fluttershy?" I said before I reached for her panties. "Once we go through with this, there's no going back."
"There's no one in the world I'd rather do this with, I'm ready." Fluttershy smiled, "I trust you."
"I trust you as well." I said and I slid off her underwear, depositing the garment with my towel and her bra.
She had a perfectly pink pussy and it was completely bare, "I-I get a wax." Fluttershy explained.
"I'm not gonna ask." I said, and held my hands up. "You wanted to tie me up?"
Fluttershy sparked to life as she went into her closet and pulled out a trunk and then pulled out something or two somethings, "Rope or cloth?"
"Cloth please, would be kinda hard to explain rope burn on my wrists at work."
"Cloth it is." Fluttershy sauntered over to me and soon tied my wrists to the bedframe, she then took the towel I used to dry off and wipe her face and tits. "As much as I like you on me, I prefer to be clean for the next part." She rubbed her pussy against my dick, using her juices to lubricate my crotch.
"What about protection?" I asked.
Fluttershy reached into her nightstand and pulled out a birth control potion and drank it. "If you want to be extra safe I have condoms, but...I would feel better if we didn't."
"Alright then." I relaxed, letting her continue with her motions over my cock. It felt amazingly soft, like Fluttershy, her parts were as gentle and caring as her.
She soon grabbed ahold of my dick and aligned it with her pussy. "Ready?" I didn't reply I just nodded. She soon lowered herself onto my cock, both of us moaning out the other's name. We sat there for a few minutes getting adjusted to one another, then Fluttershy began to bounce up and down with her hands placed on my chest. We got into a smooth rhythm of things, feeling her pussy wrap around my cock and squeeze it in all the right places while being perfectly warm and comforting. The constant motion was exhilarating, the moans and grunts became a musical testament to passion and love making.
**********
Somewhere in the Crystal Empire a certain pink alicorn was tackling the captain of the guard to the ground. "CADENCE WE'RE IN PUBLIC!"
"LET THEM WATCH!" She shouted.
**********
"Mickey I'm close!" Fluttershy practically speared herself on my cock repeatedly.
"I am too!" I grunted as I held back.
Fluttershy sped up her motions, and soon we brought each other to our climax. "MICKEY!"
"OH GOD!" I shouted as I came inside Fluttershy.
We were out of breath due to our love making but snuggled next to each other under the sheets. "Mickey?" Fluttershy asked and got my attention.
"Yes?" I replied.
"I love you." Fluttershy snuggled into my neck.
That's the sound of the other shoe dropping, but you know what. I've said it before and I'll say it again, life is too short for it to be wasted on continuous bullshit. I had always be hesitant to say it, but now I had grown comfortable enough to be with the girls. "I love you too."
Word had gotten out between the girls about what had happened between Fluttershy and I. Turns out, Rainbow Dash was watching from a cloud that was not so far away during one of her breaks. She said originally it was for a nap however, I believe it's contrary to what she said. I was back at my house, and I couldn't l be seen with the embarrassment of what Rainbow had done, I just sat in house sulking until I heard a characteristic tomboy voice that kept repeating the words. "OW! OW! OW!" I couldn't be bothered to look out the window though. "FLUTTERSHY WOULD YOU PLEASE STOP!?"
"No, you not only violated the sanctity that was the bedroom, but you also broke his trust. He was going to tell you girls eventually but you were rude about it. A relationship isn't just about sex Rainbow!" Fluttershy scolded. I knew she was serious because she called her Rainbow instead of Dashie.
Soon there was a knock on my door and all I replied with was, "Go away."
"Well, you heard the man- OW OW OW! Okay." Rainbow sighed and then spoke back up, "Mickey, I'm sorry. Spilling the beans about you and Flutters getting together was not something that I should've done and it wasn't my secret to tell. Please you've been in there for two days now and we're worried."
My eyebrows furrowed and stood up, walking straight to the door and opening it looking up at Rainbow. "Yeah, you're right to be worried. After all it took a lot of willpower for me to give myself to another person that way, after spending upwards of 3 years in a forest paranoid as hell wondering whether or not the military was going to come and abduct me in order to strap me down to a table and either use me or experiment on me so I'd say that sorry doesn't fucking cut it. Right now at this point, nothing will so for the time being, tell Starlight that she can stay with Fluttershy because right now I don't want to see any pony face at ALL!" I looked at Fluttershy, "Flutters, none of this anger is directed at you and what we shared that day was beyond magical. I think you understand why I want to be left alone right now." I looked back at Rainbow, "Now you can leave my property before I get really upset and remove you, goodbye Rainbow." I slammed the door and locked it with the 10 locks that were on the door.
Rainbow just looked at the door with tears in her eyes, "H-He's never said goodbye before."
They soon left and I was left alone with my thoughts, the things I have a love hate relationship with. Then I thought up the greatest idea man can ever come up with when dealing with drama. "Fuck this, I need beer." I got up, grabbed my bag of bits and went to Barnyard Bargains. I passed by Sugar Cube Corner and Pinkie nearly broke the door down trying to trail after me but Mrs. Cake yelled at her to get back to work and Pinkie just waved at me. I went inside the store and into the alcohol isle grabbing as many cases of beer as I could and put them into the shopping cart I dragged behind me, and pulled it up to the checkout, I had 12 cases of beer each with 20 beers inside them, 240 beers. I was going to get rid of all of them in a crazy ass bender. I paid for all the alcohol, which was not cheap mind you but I still left with the cart. I looked at Filthy Rich and just said, "I'll return the cart tomorrow."
The owner of the burgeoning chain of grocery stores just held his hands up with no defense. I pushed the cart down the rocky path, shaking the alcoholic liquid that was the load that the cart was carrying. I walked back by Sugar Cube Corner and Pinkie saw all the alcohol and the solemn look on my face. Pinkie looked to Mrs. Cake and pointed out the window at me, with a curt nod Pinkie threw her apron off and tossed it onto a hook in the back and followed me. Looking at all the beer I had in my cart she was concerned, "Wow Mickey, that looks like enough party punch to kill an elephant."
"That's the point of it Pinkie, I want to get rid of as many brain cells as I possibly can in the shortest amount of time. I'm going for a world record." I said sarcastically.
"Is this about what Dashie said?" She asked, "Because we get that you're angry. I would be too if anypony said something about what happens in my bedroom."
"It's not about that, Rainbow broke my trust. I've had it broken once when I got here, I thought I was going to be taken care of but we both see how well that turned out." I said as I pushed the cart in front of my house, I unlocked the door and carried the beer in two at a time until I had all 12 cases in my house. "Now I'm going to see if I can shut down my kidneys and liver at the same time, please leave Pinkie."
Pinkie looked around at my place and then crossed her arms, "No."
"What?" I asked her.
"If you want to drink yourself to death that's fine, you're not going to do it without somepony to at least be there in case you pass out so you won't choke on your own vomit." Pinkie said.
She was giving me little choice in the matter so I had no option but to oblige, because when Pinkie is stubborn, there's no stopping her. "Fine." I opened a case of beer and took out the first can, opening it and stabbing a hole in the top. "Cheers."
I woke up the next morning with a huge hangover, I moaned out and luckily I heard the voice of Pinkie. "Hold on I'm coming!" I heard her hoofsteps make their way upstairs and she opened the door as I rolled out of bed and fell on the floor. "There you are."
"Wut, huppuned?" I asked in a haze.
"You tried to kill yourself with alcohol poisoning, you drank 76 beers in the span of 8 hours. Either you're dead, or you have the hardest working liver in the galaxy." Pinkie stated as she sat me up, propping me up against my bed and setting down a bucket next to me.
"Iz probubly da ladder." I slurred.
"Are you still drunk?" Pinkie asked, I nodded. "Are you still mad at Rainbow?" I nodded again.
Pinkie just wrapped an arm around me and held me. There was a knock on the door and I moaned, Pinkie got up and went to the door, opening it she saw it was Rainbow. "Pinkie? What are you doing here?"
"I could ask you the same thing." Pinkie replied.
"Fluttershy told me that I should show up here, everyday and apologize. I have to until he and I get sick of it and then do it some more." Rainbow looked down.
"It's not just about that, his trust is a hard thing to earn. Did you not think about that before you blabbed to us about what he and Flutters did in the privacy of her cottage?"
Rainbow wiped her rose colored eyes. "No, I-I didn't think at all. You know I usually don't."
Pinkie just sighed, "Look, I'm not the one you have to explain yourself to. If you want to do that, go upstairs and follow the sound of vomiting, or the smell of beer. I need to go to work and he's going to drink himself to death if he doesn't have somepony watching him."
Rainbow did exactly what Pinkie had said to do, and found me bent over the bucket I currently had my head in, "Pinkie? Izzat you?" I asked without looking up.
"No, Pinkie went to work..." Rainbow answered and I looked up.
"Oh, iz you." I squinted, "Why are you heer?"
"I wanted to apologize." Rainbow said.
I threw the bucket at her, she dodged but it was the principal of the bucket throwing. "I hate you."
"I deserve that." Rainbow said, sitting down across from me.
"You suck." I said.
Rainbow's pride rose up a little before settling back down, "I do."
"Yer also a terribul friend ta Spike, wut did he doo ta deserve bein' called not a dragon?" I asked her.
"Nothing, but why are you talking about Spike?" Rainbow asked.
"I ain't tellin' you can' keep a secret." I said, "Yer just like r-r- Clothes Pony."
"Rarity?" Rainbow filled in what I was trying to say and I replied with a nod.
"Yer not a good friend Dash." I rolled my head, "At least not ta peepul that are not da girlz."
Rainbow looked at me, and the thing about me is, I have very little filters to begin with. When drunk, I have NO filters. So I'm the fully honest Mickey, Rainbow looked down and said, "What can I do?"
"Bee con sid irate." I slowly said then leaned my head back, "Cause right now, yer a bully."
Rainbow Dash looked up, "I-I wasn't trying to be..."
"Tryin' or not, it huppuned." I slurred once more.
Rainbow shifted over to sit next to me, "I hate bullies."
"I doo too." I then started to chuckle, "I said doo!"
"You're going to have a massive hangover." Rainbow pointed out.
"Yeah, I no." I leaned on Rainbow, "Why did ya doo it?"
"I was...jealous." Rainbow said, "I was upset that you did it with Fluttershy first."
"Yer an idiot. Flutters was there for me all the time, showin' loyaltea an kindness." I said, "She earned and deserved it." My head was beginning to clear and the alcoholic migraine was rolling in. "Aw shit! Can you please get me some water?"
Rainbow nodded and got me a glass of water, I greedily drank it down. I held the cup out to her and she refilled it, this went on for several minutes. "Did you eat anything yesterday?"
"No. I got beer, I drank beer, I went to sleep." I listed.
"I'm going to make you something to eat." Rainbow said as she got up and went to my kitchen. I still sat up against my bed because it was the only thing holding me up. I heard Rainbow clatter around the kitchen and then comeback with a plate full of sandwiches.
I looked at the plate, "None of these have flowers in them do they?"
"They're peanut butter and jelly." Rainbow said.
I took one and started to slowly eat it. Rainbow took one as well, and we sat there eating sandwiches together. The rainbow maned pegasus slowly wrapped her wing around me and I looked at her, she was blushing. "Huh, I didn't know rainbows could blush."
"Uh, yeah they can." Rainbow admitted.
"Also you weren't jealous, you were envious." I pointed out, "Jealousy is worrying that someone will take what you have, envy is wanting what someone else has. Doesn't excuse the pettiness of what you did."
"That was really shallow of me." Rainbow said.
"It was, because you had literally no reason to be envious of Fluttershy. She's your best friend sans Pinkie, and you went and talked about her sex life. That isn't the most loyal thing to do to a friend. That's just being a gossip, I would've done the same with you girls given time. You went from up high on my list to dead fucking last, you're going to have to do a lot to redeem yourself."
"I know." Rainbow looked down at her sandwich.
"But, this is a good start." I smiled.
The hangover had passed and I had put away the rest of the alcohol for a rainy day, Rainbow was still hanging out with me as she felt that she owed it to both me and Fluttershy for spilling the beans about us and well. I wasn't in the mood to stop her groveling, though I wasn't as upset I still was pretty pissed. There were a few things I wanted to look into, mainly to see if Twilight or someone could enchant me a necklace so that I would be a bit bigger, I knew that the health risks were that I could suffer from a compressed spine but I'll be fucked if I'm gonna sit in a children's seat ever again.
Rainbow was trailing behind me as I walked to Twilight's place, I knew she would be there and Rainbow was holding some books of mine because I needed to return them anyways. Rainbow looked at me and asked, "Hey Mickey, where are we headed?"
"The library." I answered, "I know you're allergic to reading so I wanted to torture you."
"Har-Har." Rainbow replied equally sarcastically, "Actually, I told Twilight about what you said I probably had. She recommended to go to the doctor and you were right...again."
"You'd be hard pressed to find a moment when I'm wrong." I said.
"What if you are wrong?" Rainbow asked.
"Then I accept it, learn from it, and move on." I said, "Comparatively to your lives, mine is much too short."
"How long do humans usually live?" Rainbow asked.
"80 to 90 years, 100 if I'm lucky." I stated, "So enjoy the days we have together, cause they're going to fly by in a heartbeat."
"Okay." Rainbow said as we got to Twilight's place.
I opened the door, and nodded at Spike, Spike looked up from his comic book and smiled, "Hey Mickey, come to return the books?"
"Yeah, you guys need to get some new books. I think I've read everything in this place." I commented.
"I don't doubt it, you read books very fast." Spike commented as he checked the books back in.
"Is Twilight around?" I asked him.
"She's in the basement, something wrong?" Spike answered and asked.
"You of all people should understand why I'm getting a little tired of living in a world too big for me." I said, I then looked at Rainbow. "Rainbow, stay here." She nodded and I walked towards the basement.
I opened the door and heard Twilight humming to herself, she was in the zone. I put my fingers up to my mouth and whistled to get her attention, she looked up at the top of the stairs that I stood on and smiled. "Oh, hey Mickey. I'm just finishing up taking notes on this experiment, I'll be with you in a second. Come in, please."
I walked down the stairs at an even pace, looking around. I could still see that medical table that I had laid upon. I shuttered a bit, shook my head and looked at Twilight. I loved it when Twilight was feeling like a scientist. She was dressed in a lab coat and had her mane up in a bun, she was adorkable. She wrapped up what she was doing and looked down at me, "So, what's up?"
I took a deep breath and started to explain what I wanted, "Well, I think that everyone knows that when it comes to my stature, I'm not the greatest. To put in the simplest terms, the world is too big for me and I'm tired of sitting in the kiddy seats at restaurants. I want a necklace that increases my height."
Twilight looked at me and put her hand on my cheek, "You know we don't think any less of you because of how tall you are."
"I know, but I'm tired of climbing over everything just to get to my bags on the train, or sitting in a highchair or a bar stool because I'm not tall enough, or having you girls lean down so much to kiss me." I said while putting my hand on yours, "I'm not asking for this because I'm emasculated, I'm asking because I want to be comfortable in a world that doesn't tailor to my every need. I don't like to ask you girls for much and you know that, and I'm not happy being selfish, but when I have a child. I want to be able to hold him without him crushing me."
"Child? Him? You've never told us that you wanted to be a father." Twilight looked shocked.
"I was afraid, that if I had said something. You girls would have pushed me into something I wasn't ready for just yet, but now I know that you girls wouldn't betray my trust like that." I said and looked away, "At least most of you girls."
"Mickey, what Rainbow did was unacceptable. I was so close to kicking her out of the herd but then I thought of the things you said about us forgiving and reforming ponies so I didn't, but I didn't immediately forgive her either."
"Things take time, I didn't immediately forgive her either." I said, "I'm going to hold onto the anger however."
"You're improving." Twilight said, "Well, first things first. The enlargement spell would be enchanted to the necklace, however. There's the problem with your anti-magic, since it cancels out any magic when stressed or angry. It should be fine for when you're not, however we don't know the exact specifications, we may need to run some tests before we can confirm it. Nothing too invasive I assure you, but it's going to require you to be under a lot of stress, but Spike and I will be here for you."
"That's, reassuring." I said, "I'm not being sarcastic, I really mean it."
Twilight brushed my long hair aside, "Your mane is really long."
"Humans call it hair, but yeah it is. I was thinking of cutting it, way back when I was in the marines." I said, "You have a pair of clippers I could use?"
"I don't know how I feel about you cutting your own hair, how about I do it for you?" Twilight asked.
"Do you have a lot of experience cutting hair?" I asked her.
"Not really, but I know who does! If you don't mind staying here for a bit." Twilight said.
"I'm not going to get a haircut in your science lab." I said, while headed towards the stairs. God I hate stairs, I wish all stairs were escalators, I also wish I had a remote to turn the escalators in reverse. That'd be funny to me, but I got to the top of the stairs with Twilight following me and closed the door behind her.
Twilight coughed to get Spike and Rainbow to stop talking to each other, "Spike, could you please go get Rarity?"
Spike smiled and walked out the library as I sat down in one of the lounge chairs. Rainbow sat next to me, she tried to reach over to hold my hand but I slapped it away. "You're still on probation, girlfriend or not."
"What do I have to do to get off probation?" Rainbow asked.
"Apologize-" I started but she cut me off.
"I have though! I apologized to you multiple times and that's also the reason I'm here instead of at home!" Dash said.
"Let me finish before you go off on tangents." I sternly said, I was considering doing a Drill Instructor's tone if she didn't let me speak. I then continued, "Apologize to Fluttershy. Because that's the person that you most affected, do you think that she likes that her closest and oldest friend went off and told other people about what she got up to in the bedroom?" I asked her.
"Oh...shit..." Rainbow looked down.
"This is one of the reasons why I said that common sense needs to be taught, it should've told you that you shouldn't go blabbing about your best friends escapades in the bedroom especially given that her name literally had the name SHY in it." I explained.
"I'm going to go apologize to Fluttershy..." Rainbow got up and walked out the door.
Twilight looked at me, thinking about what I had said. "Do you think that Fluttershy gets her shy nature from her name?"
"It could be, if it's not it doesn't specifically help. Your destinies are tied to your names, I mean come on Applejack? She was going to be a farmer, and Sweetie Belle? Something to do with singing. It's one of those things that so glaringly obvious yet you people elect to ignore it." I said, "Humans don't really get that liberty, or get a magical tattoo on our asses saying what we should do for the rest of our lives."
"Hmm, that's true." Twilight said, "Do you ever really miss Earth? You talk about it a lot."
"At this point, I don't know. I do miss life on Earth yeah, that's true. However, I've gotten used to life here in Equestria. I'm...in a state of limbo right now. I can't explain it, but I can't do anything about it." I said, "Besides, there are a few consolations in Equestria. I don't have to worry about an idiot in charge blowing us all to hell with nukes because of what he said on the internet to piss off another government. I still worry about people in charge though, but I think anyone in their right mind is somewhat concerned about what their government is doing for their citizens."
"Fair enough." Twilight nodded, "I got a question, why do you say anyone and people?"
"It's all inclusive, nothing wrong with what you're saying but saying anypony when in the company of say a griffon? That kinda says that I don't mean you, I just mean the ponies and anything pony related." I pointed out.
"Would you mind if I used what you say?" Twilight asked.
"That's up to you, I was raised with it for 25 years of my life, day after day. It's ingrained into my brain." I stated.
"I'm back." Spike announced and Rarity ran by her boyfriend hugging Twilight.
"So who is it that needs my help darling?" Rarity asked.
Twilight pointed to me, "Mickey wants a haircut, and maybe trim the beard before it gets too bushy."
I ran my hand through my beard, and Twilight had a point. Rarity summoned her hair care items and quickly set up a chair in the kitchen, with plastic trash bags under the chair. Rarity spoke up, "Okay so what I was thinking was."
"I'm going to have to cut you off right there, I want what's close to a buzz cut, leave a little on top, fade the back and sides. Can you do that?" I asked.
"Yes...but why?"
"It's the haircut I had when I was serving in Iraq and Afghanistan." I stated, "It's practical."
"How much do you want on top?" Rarity asked.
"Take almost all of it off, leave only a few centimeters." I said.
Rarity soon got to work, cutting off all my hair. In all honesty, I was tired of the long hair getting into my eyes. Besides, it grows back so what do I have to complain about? "Please hold still sweetie." Rarity said.
"Apologies." I apologized, "I tend to move my head when I'm thinking."
Rarity smiled and nodded, "Just try not to do it as much, I don't want to cut you."
"No problem." I smirked as more of my hair fell off my head, my dark brown locks becoming nothing more than short nubs of hair.
Twilight and Spike went back to doing their library duties. Which left Rarity and I alone, "So I heard what Rainbow had said. Utterly awful thing to do."
"Coming from someone who gossips at any piece of thinly veiled evidence she can get on, I don't think you have much room to talk." I commented.
"You have a fair point, I have been trying to stop." Rarity then started to cut the top of my hair and brushing off my shoulders, "You're going to have to take a shower after this."
"Duly noted." I said as she got finished up my hair and moved to my beard. "I don't want to get rid of the whole thing, but try not to make me look like a hobo."
"This isn't the first time that I've had to work on facial hair darling and I've told you so." Rarity said.
"I've got a question, how do ponies shave their faces without lopping off their fur?" I asked.
"Enchanted razors, somehow the company that makes them put a lasting enchantment within the strip to make sure that you don't cut into your fur while shaving, but once the strip is gone, so is the enchantment." Rarity said, "It makes a killing on the market, before then we just had to either go without, or try not to cut all of our fur off."
"Interesting." I said.
"Would you like to style your beard any?" Rarity asked.
"No thanks, I'm good." I said, she then handed me a mirror. I looked good, I then got up and brushed off all the hair on me. "Thanks." I pulled out my bag of bits and paid her.
"I couldn't take these from you!" Rarity tried to hand them back but I stopped her.
"You took time out of your day, to come and give me a service, the best thing for me to do is pay you for your time." I told her, "If you don't take the money I'm going to go out and dig up some gems and give them to you to pay you back."
"I-" Rarity stopped and realized the futility of arguing with me. "Alright."
I started to walk towards the stairs and shouted out to Twilight. "Hey Twinight! I'm gonna use your shower! If you want to join me you're more than welcome!"
I chuckled to myself but then I was stopped when a flash of pink light and my alpha girlfriend appeared in front of me. "Are you 100% deadly serious?"
"I was half joking but sure, I don't mind. Just no sex though, I could never perform my best when in the shower. It's sexy, yes but I'm not good at it." I said as I walked past her.
"Okay fair enough." Twilight said.
"No experiments or taking notes either!" I said as I started to run off to the shower with a huge grin on my face with Twilight following me.
"That's not fair Mickey! Besides, how can I take notes in the shower!?"
"I meant in your head, you literal minded egghead!" I started to sprint all while cackling at the top of my lungs.
Spike soon appeared next to Rarity helping her clean up, "I think they're gonna be fine."
"I wholeheartedly agree with you." Rarity smiled at her drake.
There are a lot of things that I hate in this world and Earth, stairs is one of them. The other is a test. Test, test, test. The thing that thoroughly thrills Twilight, tests. Ugh, I had just about enough of that word before I even MET Twilight, we need to run another test, we need to test this, we need to test that! I swear to the ancient lords of all that is metal I wish the word test was thrown out of the dictionary and beat down like the printer in Office Space. I'm sick of that word, test, in fact I'm going to stop writing it, it shall now be known as quiz, that's much better, it has a q and a z in it.
That being said, let's quit my hang up about a synonym for quiz and get back to the task at hand, which means. I'm in the lab watching Twilight, we had showered and she had restrained herself so that she didn't try to do anything untoward, I explained to her that I wasn't good at sex in the shower. She understood, and she was...quizzing my DNA again, she was done up in her sciencey outfit again while I sat in a chair with my legs crossed to keep myself from popping a boner. I absolutely love the sexy nurse routine, and Twilight's a sexy scientist so that's close enough to get me excited. She had safety goggles on and was looking through a microscope while humming to herself, she then moved on to a rudimentary mass spectrometer. Twilight did a few more things and then destroyed the DNA samples, as I requested the last time I was in the lab. Every time I come here I always want to say either 'to the lab' or call it the 'laboratory' like Dexter, alas no one would understand my witticisms, maybe Discord, but he wasn't here.
Twilight looked at me, "Good news! From what I've discovered I can make you something to cancel out your anti-magic aura. Therefore I can make you grow, the bad news is concerning your health. It wouldn't be healthy for such a drastic change immediately, so we'll have to do it gradually and by my calculations it would take a year or so for you to get used to your new size, also there's the deal with spinal compression and making sure you don't cripple yourself while we do this."
"Yeah, anything over 7 feet tall and we may have some problems." I said, "Whatever makes me taller, I'm willing to put in the work."
"You'll have to increase your protein intake, which means that you'll have to eat more meat. I'm willing to order some...steaks from the griffon empire, meat has become a little known export of theirs since they've started to rebuild their kingdom."
I had heard of that from Pinkie and Rainbow, apparently they needed a nudge in the right direction, I'm glad I didn't go. I probably would've murdered someone for trying to steal my money from me, I work hard for my things. I'm also a poor bastard but that's besides the fact, so I'll need to change my diet. "So what else would I need to do?"
"Build more muscle." Twilight said and I looked at her. "Oh, right your metabolism. Then you'll need to go to the gym regularly. Your '13 weeks of hell' works for you, but more regularity would help with the adjustment."
"I suppose I can do that." I nodded. "But you have to do it alongside me." I got up and poked her belly. "Because your diet of chips and soda late at night while studying has put an extra layer of fat in the wrong places."
"Celestia said it would go to my rear..." Twilight looked at her stomach.
"I'm not body shaming you Twily, I'm just saying that you could exercise a bit more." I smiled.
"Hmm, even Rarity goes to the gym. She says sweaty and beauty ends with a ty and you'll say thank you when you're done."
"I told her that, after she downed several pints of ice cream over a date that went in the wrong direction fast." I said, "I told her about yoga and pilates, the rest was history."
"Yoga?" Twilight asked.
"It's a more graceful way to exercise, talk to Rarity about it. She knows more." I said, "Exercise and you'll order more meat for me, I got a question. How come you haven't ordered meat for Spike?"
"He...doesn't want to be ostracized for it...hence why he's as tall as you are."
"You want me to talk to him?" I asked.
"If you would please? You're the only other non pony here and he looks up to you more than you would know." She said.
"Alright, I'll talk to him." I got up and then realized my mistake, I still had a blatant erection.
Twilight looked at me and then looked away, "Um, Mickey. You're...um...showing..."
"Oh shit!" I covered my pants with my hand. "Try to scrub that from your memory."
"It'll be hard not to." Twilight blushed.
I smirked and rolled my eyes, I then walked up the stairs and spotted Spike reshelving some books whilst he was upon a ladder. "Need a hand?" I offered.
"Uh, no thanks this is the last one." Spike shot down my offer politely.
"Okay, well Twilight actually wanted me to talk to you for a bit. When you got the time."
"I've got some time right now." Spike slid down off the ladder.
"Alright then, let's take a walk." I motioned to the outside door, Spike decided to walk ahead and I followed him.
"So what did you want to talk about?" Spike asked as I took the lead and walked only slightly ahead of him.
"I talked to Twilight about some personal things, and in doing so it revealed that you aren't eating what you're supposed to be eating."
"I don't know what you're talking about." Spike lied.
"Spike, you can't bullshit a bullshitter, it's just not possible. You aren't eating meat, and while you want to stick to your guns. That's very commendable, but at this point you're risking your health. Do you really want to stay this height, forever?" I asked him.
"No." Spike scratched the back of his head, "I just don't want ponies to think that I'm a monster."
"If the people in your life are so shallow to think that, then maybe you need to reassess who you need to include in your life." I patted him on the back.
"What about Rarity?" Spike asked.
"Just tell her, if she really loves you. She'll accept it." I assured him.
"Thanks Mick." Spike smiled. "I've got a question for you, do you ever have trouble...fitting into your place in the world?"
"Are you asking for you, or for a 'friend'." I put air quotes around the word friend.
"I'm asking for me, for a long time and even before I started to date Rarity I felt like, well the girls didn't respect me. I mean sure they've included me occasionally and we even went into one of my comic books, and they told the villian that I was a part of them, but then it went back to the same old status quo the next day. It, it really hurts." Spike said.
"So the girls are making you feel insecure and you have no self esteem." I asked and Spike just nodded.
"And they've never noticed this, even though they're the pedigree of friendship?" I asked and Spike nodded once again, "Okay that pisses me off."
"What should I do?" Spike asked.
I thought about it, scratching my beard, "You know what?" I looked at him. "I've never been to the Crystal Empire, aren't you regarded as a hero there?"
"Yeah..." Spike was confused, "I don't get what this has to do anything."
"We're going on vacation, just you and me. Two weeks away from the girls, show them how much they need you give them time to reflect." I stated.
"What will Twilight say?" Spike asked.
"Fuck Twilight, you deserve some time off." I said, "You've been busting your ass for how many years now?"
"Since I was hatched, practically." Spike stated.
"Spike, you NEED this. The conditions you've been treated have been borderline on slavery, that's not right. I figure it's time for you to learn a trade or go on a fucking vacation." I stated, "Either way, we're leaving tonight."
"Really?" Spike asked.
"What's life without being a little spontaneous?" I rhetorically asked.
"Okay." Spike half-heartedly said, so I slapped him upside the head. "HEY! WHAT WAS THAT FOR?!"
"You need to stop people from slapping and pushing you around. Take charge of your life man!" I shouted at him.
Spike looked down and when he looked back at me he had a look of determination in his eyes. "Thanks Mick, I think I needed that."
"Alright, then what are you waiting for? Go get your shit." I said as I started to take off towards my house. I had gotten my clothes packed and informed Applejack and Mac of my intentions, and they saw no problem with it, winter was always a slow season for them, it's an apple farm what did you expect? They usually cut down the trees that don't grow anymore apples and it's usually me who does it. I met Spike at the train station and we got our tickets, grabbed our seats, and left for the crystal empire, I smiled because Spike and I rarely had time to bond I had always liked the guy as well he's always been friendly with me so I had a few questions. "Hey, Spike."
"Yeah?"
"Do you mind me dating Twilight and the other girls? I know that we don't really talk as much and I actually never talked about it."
"Actually out of everypony that lives in Ponyville, you're the one that I had hoped that would date the girls the most." Spiked admitted.
"Why?" I asked.
"Because you're a healthy dose of reality, you're realistic and sometimes the girls need an anchor to ground them in reality. Heavens knows that I've done all I can but all they do is see me as a joke, and that's on the best of days." Spike sighed.
I reached up and put my hand on his shoulder. "I'm going to try and help you with that. Okay?"
"I appreciate that Mick." Spike smiled.
"So what do you like to do in your spare time?" I asked Spike.
"I like to read comic books." Spike answered.
"Oh really? Okay, you know us humans have comic books."
"Really?!" Spike was excited.
"Oh yeah! But to pop culture, there are two giants of the comic book industry. They're also making movies about these comics, although one comic company is doing much better in that regard."
"Tell me!" Spike was grinning at this point."
"Alright, it starts at the ass end of World War II."
Author's Note
I commissioned some artwork for both my stories, also I'm turning 20 on saturday! Oh god I'm no longer going to be a teenager.
Author's Note
This Journal Entry diverts from the main story just a bit, it's still cannon. Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, and Happy Kwanzaa
Side Entry #1
It was wintertime in Ponyville, and rarely anyone came outside, they would rather stay inside their warm homes, and I couldn't blame them. I would prefer to stay inside as well but unfortunately I didn't chop enough wood to stoke the fire inside my house and I decided to drag Starlight along with me, while we were both wrapped up in our warmest clothing, the cold still found a way to wrap to our bodies within it's icy grip. I grunted when I finished chopping the tree down and yelled, "TIMBER!"
"R-Remind me why I'm out here again?" Starlight asked.
"In case I keel over from exhaustion, it's your job to drag me back to my house and contact Fluttershy. She just got her Vet's license to work on primates and she did it all for me." I said as I wrapped a chain around the tree.
"W-What happens i-if w-we both f-freeze?"
"Then you have my express permission to use my body to warm you back up via skin on skin contact." I said, "The human body is incredibly warm, the average temperature is 98.6 degrees fahrenheit or 37 degrees celsius." I started to drag the tree, it wasn't very big but was a pine tree, and it was around December, getting close to the 25th. I stared at the tree for a bit then started to drag it once again.
"Something on your mind?" Starlight asked.
"It's getting close to the 25th."
"Oooh, Hearth's Warming Eve." Starlight said.
"What the fuck are you talking about?" I looked up at her.
"Y-You don't know about Hearth's Warming Eve?" She asked.
"I spent the better part of three years of my life in the forest not wanting to be around anyone and relieving myself via a zebra shammaness, so you'll have to explain."
Starlight then told me about the story of the three tribes and all of that, which was pretty much tribalism at it's finest. I knew the rest, I continued to drag to my cabin where I came across Zecora at my door. She smiled and held out her arms, she was covered in a thick coat and pants, which was provided by Rarity. She ran and hugged me, "Hello my beloved." She then took a look at Starlight, "Who might I ask is this?"
"My servant, Starlight Glimmer." I responded with, "We're not fucking if that's what you're concerned about." I hugged her.
Zecora looked at Starlight and she nodded, "I've got my own concerns right now. Getting somepony isn't one of them."
Zecora nestled me into her breasts, "Alright, Starlight. But if you think of touching my sweet, it will not be such a treat for you."
I lightly slapped her ass, "Knock it off with the rhyming, how was your trip?"
"It was delightful, I got to see my family again and told them about us. My father approves, he would like to meet you however." Zecora stated.
"I'll be sure to arrange something, I've got some firewood to chop." I said as I grabbed the axe that I borrowed from sweet apple acres and started to chop some wood. And so I did, Starlight invited Zecora into my place for some tea or coffee. I don't know which, hell it could be piss for all I care I just wanted to get this wood chopped. I continued to chop off logs from the base of the tree and cut off a few branches, I then stared at the tree. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, I actually let my mind wander off to a memory of mine, back before I was shipped overseas to Iraq. It was that year's Christmas and I was at home sitting in a chair and watching my 2 brothers, sister, and brother in law all gathered around the living room as dad handed out presents, mom had gotten me another cup of coffee and My sister; Nicole was busy tearing into the gift I had gotten her. I closed my eyes and committed that moment to my mind. It's like a pristine picture, one of the few moments of peace I had. That was one of the things that pushed me to keep fighting, small things like that.
I was torn from my memory by a shaking, I looked up to see who was the person who had the balls to tear me from one of my few moments of bliss in this constantly chaotic and ever changing landscape that is Equestria. It was Twilight, who had ventured all the way out here. "H-Hi M-Mickey! Was I-I interrupting something?"
"Uh, kinda." I answered and looked at Twilight, she was slightly shivering. I could tell she had been out here long, "Is there a good reason why it looks like you're about to freeze to death?" I had asked.
"O-Oh! I came to i-invite you to my H-Hearth's Warming Eve p-party." Twilight fished through her, messenger bag slash purse thing. They call them saddlebags but I don't feel right by saying that. She then pulled out an invitation. "I invited the girls and their parents, Zecora, Starlight, the princesses, my parents, Discord, the CMC, Shining and Cadence and their new baby Flurry Heart. Now I'm inviting you."
I eyed the invitation, "I'm not sure about it."
"Please?" Twilight looked at me.
"Alright fine, but go home and get out of the cold." I said as I continued to chop wood, I don't know how long I was out there for. I just kept chopping the wood for a fire and then when I was done, it was almost nighttime. I walked back into my house and saw that Starlight and Zecora had left, presumably for Twilight's party. I took a deep breath and looked around. "Eh, fuck it." I walked back outside but not before grabbing a bottle of brandy and locked the door. I started to walk towards Twilight's palace, snow crunching underfoot. I reached the palace and stood there looking at the giant crystal doors and swallowed. I reached my hand back and knocked on the door.
The door opened and showed Twilight, "Oh, hey Mickey. I thought you wouldn't have come!"
"Well surprise." I said, "Mind if I come in?"
"YES!" Twilight nearly shouted then coughed into her hand. "I mean yes, please do." She moved aside as I shrugged off my thick coat.
"Thanks, I brought some brandy if that's alright, goes great with eggnog." I said as I entered, she helped me with my coat and took the bottle of alcohol.
"That's perfectly fine, I'm just glad you showed up." Twilight smiled.
"Ah well, I couldn't be alone on Christmas." I said.
"Chris mass?" Twilight questioned.
"I'll explain it later, okay?" I said as I kicked off the snow from my boots, "I just need to warm up by the fire for a bit." I walked through the living room to see some people looking at me as I stood by the fire with my hands to the crackling flames.
The little girls of the Cutie Mark Crusaders ran right up to me. "Mickey!" They shouted in unison as they tackled me.
"Girls!" Someone who I didn't recognize scorned the three, "We don't pounce on ponies!"
"They're fine, but more importantly. Who the hell are you?" I asked the green earth pony mare with a blonde mane. I sat up and got a better look at her.
"Well that's rude." The mare crossed her arms over her Triple D breasts.
"Mickey, this is my Aunt Holiday." Scootaloo answered for me.
"You have an aunt? Wait, that implies that you have parents." I looked at Scootaloo as I stood up.
"Yeah, they're just not around a lot because their jobs are very demanding." Scootaloo scratched the back of her neck.
"And you never told anyone about this because?" I looked at her.
"I don't like to talk about it." Scootaloo said.
"Well, at the very least it keeps me from reporting you to Child Protective Services." I said.
"Why would you do that?" Holiday asked.
"Because people, for example,ME . Tend to assume the worst when information isn't very forthcoming, I thought that she was either an orphan, had abusive parents, or was homeless and an orphan."
"What?" Holiday asked.
Twilight came in and put a hand on my shoulder, "I'm sorry Holiday, that's just something Mickey tends to do. It's not really anything against you, or your family."
"It's fine I suppose..." Holiday said, "I'm sorry about the girls tackling you, they tend to get into crazy stuff when someone isn't watching them."
"Oh, I know. That's what 30% of my job is, watching these three."
"So they've said." Holiday replied, "Scootaloo talks a lot about you."
"Good things hopefully." I smiled.
"Yeah, saying things like you're the first stallion role model she's had." Holiday said, "But I think she's got a crush~"
"Oh really?" I looked at Scootaloo. "Do you have a crush on me Scooter-pie?"
Scootaloo turned from orange to a deep crimson, "N-No I don't!"
"Scooter-pie? Oooh, I've got to write that one down." Someone else ran up, a sand colored mare with a purple mane with pink highlights in it.
"Mickey this is my Auntie Lofty." Scootaloo said.
"So you two are a couple?" I asked Holiday and Lofty.
"Yes, do you have a problem with that?" Holiday asked.
"Sister my door swings both ways." I stated.
"Oh! I'm sorry for assuming." Holiday said.
"Never assume, cause it just makes an ass out of u and me."
"I'm definitely going to write that one down." Lofty said, "Sorry I just tend to write down things that I hear that I think will do some good later on down the line."
"No need to apologize for that, it's good to do." I smiled.
"Is that a smile?" Apple Bloom asked, "I've never seen Mickey smile before."
"What? I've smiled before." I turned my attention to the filly.
"Uh no, at least we haven't seen you smile." Sweetie Belle pointed out, "We always thought of you as the pony where smiles go to die."
"Oooh that's a good one." A disembodied voice stated.
"Hello Discord." I said as everyone looked around.
"How is my favorite human doing?" Discord asked.
"I'm the only human in the world." I said, "To say that I'm your favorite is irrelevant."
"Touche." Discord materialized next to me, "How are you doing this Happy Hearth's Warming?"
"Just peachy." I said, "Now if you'll excuse me. I'm going to get a drink." I departed towards the kitchen in search of a beer. I enter the kitchen and see Applejack conversing with Fluttershy. I looked around and spotted my target, beer. I grabbed a can and opened it, I took a few gulps and nearly polished off half the can. I sighed and looked at two of my girlfriends and waved.
Discord appeared next to me once more, "I have some terrible news, from earth."
"Am I going to have to finish this beer before or after you say it?" I asked.
Discord grabbed another beer for me. "Yes."
I shrugged and finished the rest of the beer in my hand and grabbed the other. "Go ahead."
"Stan Lee died." Discord stated.
I chugged the new beer and grabbed another, "I was not adequately prepared for this."
"I know." Discord nodded and conjured a newspaper. "But it was confirmed."
I took the newspaper and read it. "How many movies?"
"57, and one in a DC movie." Discord said.
I started to laugh, "A DC MOVIE? That's the ultimate fuck you."
"You don't want to know anything else about earth." Discord said.
"Thanks for sparing me." I thanked the draconequus as I finished my 3rd beer.
"With that I bid you adieu." Discord disappeared.
Fluttershy and Applejack walked up to me, Applejack asked. "What was that Sugarcube?"
"Just some news from earth, it's a bit disappointing but that just makes me all the more happy that I'm in Equestria now." I smiled.
The girls smiled and we partied, I met the parents of all my girlfriends, I talked to the princesses and then I came across Armor and Cadence. She was disheveled and holding a white furred alicorn. "Hello Mickey." Shining yawned.
"Baby troubles?" I asked the couple.
"A little." Cadence said. The baby was busy crying her head off.
"Is this Flurry?" I asked. Cadence and Armor nodded, I held out my arms. "May I?"
Cadence shrugged and handed Flurry over and I started bounce up and down, while swaying back and forth, humming 'Smoke On The Water' and she began to calm down. Soon Flurry closed her eyes and started fall asleep. Cadence and Armor just stared at me, "HOW DID YOU DO THAT?!"
"Shh!" I kept up with my motions, "Babies love stimulus, you repeat something for a certain amount of time and they get use to it, it calms them. But don't do it too often because then they'll lose interest. I picked up a few things from babysitting my nephews and neices."
Armor and Cadence hugged each other, then Cadence kissed my cheek repeatedly whilst saying, "Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you."
"You're welcome." I said, "Look, I know what it's like for a couple to experience having a new baby. You don't have to be afraid of asking for help, say for example." I pointed to Night Light and Twilight Velvet, "Your parents?"
"I...I didn't think to ask." Armor admitted.
"A lot of people usually don't." I told them, "I'll hang onto her and let you get to partying, have fun you two."
Armor and Cadence straightened their hair and tails and went to socialize. I smiled as I continued to keep Flurry satisfied. Twilight spotted me and approached me, whispering to me, "You look good with her. How's she doing?"
I whispered back, "Still sleeping. I think she likes rock music."
"Don't corrupt her now." Twilight whispered again. Armor and Cadence returned, with smiles on their faces they took Flurry and Twilight clinked a fork onto a crystal glass, quieting everyone and she announced, "It's time to pass out the presents! Gather around the tree please!"
Everyone began to gather around the tree as Twilight requested and I took that as my cue to leave. I turned towards the exit and began to make my way towards it when a hand on my shoulder stopped me. "Who told you to go anywhere?" I looked at the owner of the hand and it was Applejack, "I think she meant you as well."
Well, what do I have to lose? I stood by Applejack and Fluttershy, they started passing the presents around and I didn't have anything as I helped pass out presents. I smiled as I helped, I truly didn't care whether or not I had a present I was with friends. That was fine by me, I kept smiling as Armor and Cadence got baby items, Fluttershy got some more knitting supplies, Applejack got some new clothes, Rainbow got new flight goggles, Pinkie got a scope for her Party Cannon so she can now precisely fire cupcakes and full sized cakes. Twilight got a lifetime supply of quills and parchment, but I knew that she was going to go through it in a week. Spike got a new tux from Rarity, in return Spike made her a scarf made of some scales that he shed. The Princesses exchanged gifts between themselves and I was left out in the cold. It was fine, I couldn't think of anything better. I sat down and then there was a tap on my shoulder, it was Applejack surrounded by the main 6. "Oh hey girls. How are you?"
"We didn't want you to think that we were leaving you out." Applejack said.
"So we all pitched in and got you something." Rainbow said.
"Discord helped out." Pinkie said.
"But it's not like we gave him much of a choice." Fluttershy looked at her friend.
"Come on." Twilight held out her hand and I grasped it. She led me out to a room that was completely dark, she flipped a switch and it contained the 1970's Dodge Charger, but looking around I could see that there were toolboxes along the wall. There were parts on benches, it was everything I needed to restore that car to its former glory. I stared while everyone looked at me. "Well, what do you think?"
"It's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen." I wiped a tear from my eye and hugged Twilight, the girls soon gave me a group hug.
"Now, it doesn't have any gasoline, but I figured that we could develop something as a substitute." Twilight explained, "You've done so much good and you've missed 3 hearth's warming so we decided that this would more than make up for it."
"Thank you girls." I said, "I don't know what I did to deserve this."
"You didn't have to do anything." Zecora said, "You're perfect the way you are."
I smiled and walked into the garage, I spotted a few items that were not automotive tools but woodworking tools. "Wait, these aren't..." I spotted a note and I picked it up. "From Mac, I'm tired of you borrowing my tools so here's some of your own." I started to laugh.
"I have something for you as well." Celestia said as she blushed and handed me something.
It was a letter and a paper, "What is this?"
"It's a letter, that you can send. To your relatives on earth, the envelope's enchanted so that whatever mailbox you put it in it will send to the desired address." Celestia said, "Your family deserves to know your safe, however I can only enchant them once a month. I hope that's acceptable."
"Th-Thank you." I looked at Celestia, "Is there anyway I can repay you?"
"I'll let you know when I think of something." Celestia said.
"Thank you girls, this is one of the most wonderful things you could've ever given me." I said and then I started to break down and cry. The girls rushed over and hugged me, Spike and Rarity included. I held them close, as for one of the only times in my life outside of me being a child, I cried myself to sleep. Spike and Armor carried me to Twilight's bedroom and lay me down.
"I'm not entirely sure about him sleeping in your bed." Armor said to his little sister.
"You know that he's a good man, so you have no room to talk." Twilight retaliated.
"Wow, he's been a good influence on you." Celestia commented, "You would've never talked back to your brother when you were younger."
"I also wouldn't have talked back to you." Twilight said to Celestia, "He's caused a lot of change, all of it for the better."
"Who knows what he might do later on down the line?" Luna asked.
"That's what I love about humans so much, unlimited potential. They put their minds and hearts behind something, anything is possible." Celestia said, "Come let's let him sleep."
I had quite a lengthy conversation with Spike about Marvel and DC comics, I told him my favorites which were in no particular order, Deadpool, Batman, Spider-man, Hulk, Ironman, Wolverine, Punisher, and Venom. While Spike went to the restroom he sent a letter off to Cadence and Shining to be expecting us within a few hours, we were soon back to our conversation about comics.
"So let me get this straight, Deadpool. Which is a rip-off of a DC comics character named Deathstroke, actually knows that he's in a comic book?" Spike asked.
"Yep!" I said.
"But if he knows he's in a comic, what's his motivation for doing anything?" Spike asked.
"Because he likes money more than breaking the 4th wall." I answered, "Deadpool is so terrifyingly skilled that most people in the Marvel universe tend to pay him off rather than just fight him, in fact on two separate occasions Deadpool actually KILLED all the heros and villians in the marvel universe."
"So, say hypothetically speaking. If Deadpool were to come here, would you be able to stop him?" Spike asked.
"All honesty? If he were extremely pissed off for whatever reason, I could buy a few minutes at most and even that's being generous." I said.
"Would the elements of harmony work on him?" Spike asked.
"I give it a 50/50 chance that they may or may not work. You know how I told you about Ghost Rider?"
"Biker who's a flaming skeleton bounty hunter for the devil?" Spike answered.
"And about how I told you about his Penance Stare?" I asked.
"Yeah, what about it?" Spike answered and reciprocated a question.
"It doesn't work on Deadpool, mostly because Deadpool doesn't see anything he's done as being guilt worthy."
"So he's insane, immortal, immune to dark magic, and is aware that he's a comic book character?" Spike asked.
"Yep, and you want to know the TRULY craziest thing?" I asked and Spike nodded, "He's more popular than Deathstroke."
Spike just slouched in his seat, "Wow."
"Yeah." I smiled.
"I got a question for you." Spike said, "Out of all the superheroes you talked about, which one do you relate to the most?"
"The Punisher." I answered, "Mostly because it could so easily happen to me. Hell, I could snap one day and just become a serial killer."
"What keeps you from doing it?" Spike asked with a hint of fear I could hear underlying his tone.
"Mostly, it's Fluttershy. Girl's got a heart that puts hearts of gold to shame." I smirked, "The other girls help as well, but it's Fluttershy that actually gathered the courage to talk and reach out to me. That touched my heart so much, especially when I was so bitter at the world. She knew I had every right to be upset, but she didn't want that anger to consume me, well at least not my entire life."
"Wow, I never knew that." Spike admitted.
"I tend not to share it, but I have a feeling that you're not about to go spilling any of my secrets." I smiled and nudged him.
"Do you think there would be a chance to get a hold of some of those comics you were talking about?" Spike asked.
"Dude, I think you'd have a better chance of squeezing lemonade out of an apple. Your best bet would be to talk to Discord." I plainly said, "I took everything off the internet. You do remember what that is right?"
"Yeah I do." Spike said, "I wish we had something like that over here in Equestria."
"Wish all you want, it ain't gonna happen anytime soon with the way technology is in Equestria, you'd sooner have a car before the internet." I said.
"Speaking of cars, how's restoring that car going?" Spike questioned
"The charger?" I asked, then I explained. "Well Twilight is working on a magical rechargeable battery to run the car instead of gasoline, so there's that. The engine also runs on oil to keep everything lubricated but Discord said that he'll come up with an oil that doesn't need to be changed. From some far flung planet that also has vehicles. Personally, I think he's lying."
"Discord is doing good, you're getting something you've always wanted." Spike said, "You've got it pretty good here."
"That I may, but there's something called Murphy's law." I leaned back in my seat.
"What's that?" Spike asked.
"Basically it's this, anything that can go wrong will go wrong." I stated, "Say for example, this train being buried in an avalanche and we have to walk to the Crystal Empire."
"Jeez." Spike scratched the back of his head, "I don't want to be buried in the snow. I hate the cold as is."
"Oh right, you're cold-blooded right?" I asked Spike and he nodded.
"Yeah, I don't do too well in the cold, in fact when we first moved to Ponyville during the first winter wrap up that Twilight was a part of I fell into a frozen lake."
"Whoa, that could've killed you!" I nearly shouted.
"It almost did, Twilight got her ass chewed out by Celestia to take better care of me...for a short time she did, but..."
"Fell into the same routine." I completed for him, "That's...hard."
"I know, it...hurts." Spike looked down, "Rarity reassures me that I have value but it still hurts."
"Twilight and the others have taught you not to value yourself." I looked down, "They made you dependent on whether or not what you're doing at the moment has value to them, therefore you have no self-esteem. Which is why you revel in the fact that you're practically worshipped in the Crystal Empire. That would be my best guess."
"You'd make a great therapist." Spike said.
"I was once told the same thing by Rainbow, but I concluded that I'm not licensed for that sort of work and that my burdens are too heavy for me to take on the burdens of others. However, that doesn't stop them from trying." I said.
"Next stop. The Crystal Empire!" The conductor said.
The train soon stopped in the Crystal Empire train station and Spike and I grabbed our things and left the train. When Spike and I entered there were trumpets, "NOW ANNOUNCING, SPIKE THE BRAVE AND GLORIOUS AND HIS GUEST!"
I looked around and there were barricades keeping legions of people at bay. I just whistled in amazement, "Well it looks like that you're quite the big deal here Mr. Brave and Glorious. Just try not to let it get to your head. Okay?"
"Bring me back down to Equestria if I do." Spike said and nudged me, "There are Shining and Cadence." Spike pointed out.
"With Flurry." I noted and when they arrived Flurry held out her arms to me. Which in turn surprised me, "Hello little one. How are you?"
"She wanted you for the past few weeks. She's really grown a liking to you." Cadence said.
"I only had one interaction with her." I said as I held the baby in question.
"That's pretty much all you needed." Armor said to me, "She's been calling out for her kicki only did we realize a week ago she was saying your name."
"Kicki!" Flurry spoke as she placed a hand on my cheek.
"I wouldn't know how she learned my name, I never said it around her." I said.
"Actually, we were thinking about asking you to babysit for us every once in a while." Cadence admitted while scratching the back of her head.
"And you were going to ask me this when?" I asked as I tickled Flurry in my arms.
"We just got your address from Twilight when we sent off a letter to you. Although now, it's kinda irrelevant." Armor said.
"I'll say, so what's with all the fanfare?" I asked as I gestured to Spike waving to the crowd and signing autographs.
"Spike is practically the empire's hero." Cadence said, "Though, he's never really had a chance to revel in it."
"Constantly shot down by Twilight and her friend's accomplishments?" I asked.
"Uh, yeah...that's right on the money." Armor said.
"Yeah, the thing with Spike is, he's lived in the shadow of the girls for so long that he only values himself based on what he does for others. Basically, the guy has no self confidence or self esteem. That's why I brought him here." I said.
"What?" Cadence asked as she held a hand over her mouth, "I never thought to ask..."
"No one did, because like it or not. Ponies are self absorbed, if you're not a pony then you don't care about them."
"That's not true." Armor said looking at me sternly.
"Then tell me Prince Armor, when's the last time you ever spoke to the griffins? Or at least TRIED to negotiate a peace treaty with the Changelings?"
"The Changelings are monsters that prey on love." Cadence said.
"They're a race of people that are, I don't know, STARVING!" I said, "Had you been in the same position, you would have done absolutely anything to help your people, which is exactly what Chrysalis did, now I'm not saying I condone what she did, but I understand the motivations behind it." I put Flurry on my shoulders and she held onto my chin, "You Ponies have no empathy, and it shows." I pointed to Spike. "Case and point."
"Can we continue this conversation at the Palace please?" Armor asked.
"Sure, let Spike have his moment in the spotlight. God only knows how much he needs it." I said as Armor, Cadence, and I retreated to the palace.
"So other than talking about the ramifications of what the girls have done to lower Spike's confidence to the point of nonexistence, or about the motivations of a race that invaded us for food, how are you doing Mickey?" Cadence asked, if somewhat nervously to change the subject.
"Just peachy, I got a typewriter and I've rewritten my journal." I said.
"Oh, a typewriter? Never would've thought that you would buy such a thing." Cadence smiled.
"I know you're just trying to change the subject to avoid a political scandal and having your name slandered so you can cut the innocent act Cadence." I said to her as I walked. Flurry heart trying and failing to lift herself off the ground with me attached to her. I reached up and patted her on the head, "Kiddo, if you don't cut it out you're gonna lose that seat."
"Muh, buh, abba!" Flurry retaliated but I shot down her arguement.
"I'm going to be very disappointed in your behavior and I won't visit again." I told her.
Flurry stopped flapping and hugged my head, "Nuh!"
"Then be a good girl." I smirked.
"Mhm." Flurry said and behaved better.
"How is it that you do that?" Armor asked.
"Babies, or foals are people too. They can understand a lot more than people think, however that doesn't stop them from being babies and having to depend upon someone for basic survival, like changing their diapers and feeding them." I explained.
"So...moderation?" Cadence asked.
"Moderation is always best." I said as we soon reached the palace, Armor instructed the guards to escort Spike to the palace when he's done with his crowd. I looked at Flurry, well mostly her wings and horn, "I'm just going to put this out there, your baby is freaky."
Cadence and Armor looked at me. "WHAT?!" They both shouted.
"Correct me if I'm wrong but are baby pegasai supposed to have adult wings when just a newborn?" I asked, "How about unicorns with fully grown and functioning horns?"
"Well...no..." Cadence said, "But Flurry is a baby ALICORN, so as far as we know, that's the way they're supposed to be?"
"Is that a question or a statement?" I asked, "Because it sounds like you're not entirely sure, I'm going to spell this out for you. Best case scenario, this is as big as her wings and horn are going to get. However, that doesn't seem likely."
"What exactly are you getting at?" Armor asked.
"Babies grow, they blow up faster than a balloon or an explosion, you've been so stressed or so tired, that you neglected to think that maybe Flurry's horn and wings are defects?"
"D-Defects? There's nothing wrong with our baby!" Cadence stood up and took Flurry Heart back, then she looked at her child's horn and wings. "Is there?"
"This is a dose of healthy skepticism. Look, I think the kid is cute as a button, however that cuteness doesn't negate something that could be a potential health risk." I said.
"H-Health risk?" Armor looked at Flurry and then back at me.
"I've spent a lot of time reading books from Twilight's library, and some of those books are ones on anatomy. Wings have blood vessels and veins in them that's why a pegasai is able to do such strenuous activities for a exuberant amount of time, they have the cardio to do so. However, their hearts develop alongside their wings. Now you have a child who is one third pegasus and has two wings the same size as her body. So her tiny little heart is pumping triple the amount of blood that it should be, and I think the only reason she hasn't passed out is because of the other two thirds of her alicorn nature. Simply put, your child not normal given any standards, you should seek an expert and see if you can decrease her wing and horn size before it kills her." I said, "This is my advice, seek it out at your own prerogative, I'm going to go put my stuff down in my room." I said as I left the budding family to their discussion.
There was a friendly guard that kindly showed me to my room and had informed me that Spike was on his way up as well. I lay my stuff down on the bed and lay across it myself, truth be told. I like Flurry Heart, she reminds me of my niece Kira, she was always getting into trouble and she shined her big bug eyes and pearly white smile and all of a sudden I just could say no to her. When I first held Flurry it reassured me of something I wanted to do, I do want to be a father someday. Not today however, I don't think I could handle the burden of a child just yet. I wasn't lying when I read those books either, I just didn't explain my entire reasoning behind it. I read those books for the sake of Flurry, because of the reasons I stated earlier. People deserve a chance at happiness, I'm just not sure whether or not I'm one of those people. I'm going to go for a walk, maybe some time with my thoughts will help me clear my head some.
Author's Note
I'm gonna admit this, at first I HATED Flurry heart, but now I have grown to kinda like her.
Author's Note
IT'S ALIVE!!!!!!!
Journal Entry #27
The guards here are really friendly. They gave me a map and pointed out the best places to go for tourism spots. They also offered to go there as an escort but I politely declined. I have reason to believe that they either; A) wish to avoid work by volunteering for meaningless tasks, or B) have nothing better to do. It's a 50/50 toss up I believe, and although the Crystal Heart may block out most of the snow, the city is not completely devoid of the force of nature. The snow from outside lightly peppered the streets I walked, heading to my next destination to see the very heart that was mentioned earlier, I soon arrived and many of the crystal ponies stared at me, so in return I stared back at them. When they stopped staring and mumumering amongst themselves I went back to looking at the heart, the giant crystal that kept spinning on its pedestal of a stalagmite and stalactite. Which continuously powered the shield against the raging snow storms that occasionally plagued the empire.
I decided to take a look around at the museums that depicted the history of the Crystal Empire as well, it told stories about Queen Amore or Cadence's mother, and then King Sombra, the 1000 years of being in limbo or something like that. Honestly, I was only half paying attention to that. What the Nazis did was much worse than that of what King Sombra did to these ponies, I'd never say that however; I'm a citizen and this is a part of their history despite how little I care about it. I can learn from it, adapt my strategies and find people and stop them before they become monsters...hopefully. I shook my head, I was so focused on the thing I was focused on that I lost focus. Isn't that a huge mindfuck? Back to our regularly scheduled programming.
My mindless wandering through the Crystal Empire isn't as mindless as one would think, I wandered up and down the Everfree Forest for a few years observing my surroundings. That's what I was doing now, taking in my surroundings. There was one thing that I couldn't help but notice, I was being followed. How did I notice that I was being followed because I went down several back alleys and the same pony was following me, so when I got the chance I ducked behind a shaded corner and waited for the pony to come walking in, it was a tall teal stallion. When he looked around, I pounced and pinned him against the wall. "What the fuck are you doing following me?"
"Whoa! Calm down...please?" He begged.
"I might if you tell me what the fuck you're doing following me." I told him.
"Don't be afraid," He said and then a green fire enveloped him and he turned into a changeling. "M-My name is Thorax."
I let him go, "Yeah I know who are, well I know about you. Still, that doesn't explain why you were following me."
"I heard about this network of spies, spanning the country. It's made up of retired guards and well. I heard you were in charge, I'd like to join." Thorax said.
I looked up at Thorax, he was about 7 feet tall weighing about 154 pounds. Changelings are skinny fucks with a lot of holes in their limbs, so they're pretty light given their height. "Look Thorax, you seem like a nice guy and all but what I pay those guys to do, can get them into so serious fucking trouble, very dangerous situations at times. You need to know how to handle yourself, and no offense but I think I could throw you around like a ragdoll."
Thorax looked like he was about to cry, he sniffed and wiped his eyes. "I can take it."
"Look, you seem like a nice guy and I don't think I could take it well if anything bad happened to you." I told him.
"B-But, I've got nowhere else to go..." Thorax said and looked down, "P-please?"
"I'm gonna regret this." I mumbled to myself while taking a deep breath, "Are there any others?"
"Hmm?" Thorax looked up.
"If I'm going to be starting a group home for changelings, I need to know how many I need to prepare for." I told him.
"I uh, there's a few like me..." Thorax said, "I know where they're at."
"How long will it take?" I asked.
"Until the end of the week, we should all be ready to go..." Thorax said.
"Alright, meet me at the train to Ponyville on Sunday. " I told him, he went off and I sighed. "Fuck me sideways with a cactus for a dildo." I muttered to myself.
I had seen all the sights I had wanted to and decided to head back to the castle, this time no one was following me back as I went straight up to my guest bedroom. I finally got settled in bed and looked up at the ceiling when there was a knock on the door. "Hey Mickey, you in there?" It was Cadence.
"Yeah what is it?" I asked her and she opened the door.
"Oh sorry," She apologized, "Am I interrupting anything?" She asked.
"Not really," I replied, then asked. "What's up crystalbutt?"
She sputtered, "I-I'm sorry, what?"
I pointed at her cutie mark, "Crystal heart on your butt, therefore Crystalbutt."
"O-oh! That makes sense I suppose. Digression aside, I was going to invite you down to dinner." Cadence said.
"Then why didn't you just send a guard?" I asked her.
"Well, I came up here personally to talk about your dietary habits." Cadence said.
"From what I understand is that you also eat fish as well, I can eat fish." I told her.
"Yes, but we have some steak and well...none of the chefs will cook it." Cadence said.
"So I have to fend for myself?" I asked, "Oh well, nothing I'm not used to already." I got up and stretched.
"Can I watch?" She mumbled.
"I'm sorry I must have you confused with Fluttershy," I cleaned out my ear, "What?"
"Can I watch?" Cadence asked.
"If you're up for it, however I'm not responsible if you throw up." I said as I got up, "Lead the way."
Cadence led the way to the kitchens, the chefs were all cowering in the corner over a slab of meat. I could not resist the urge to just facepalm. "It's a dead hunk of flesh, just get on with your jobs!" I shouted at them and they scrambled to get back to work I took the opportunity to look back at Cadence, "You hire a bunch of pussies."
"That's not very nice..." Cadence said.
"That's life, if I were an element of harmony it would be realism." I told her as I washed my hands.
"Have you ever been nice before?" Cadence asked while I looked through the cupboards for spices, I then started to prepare my steak while talking to her.
"I was nice a few times before, but thought there was something wrong with me and went back to being mean." I stated and Cadence looked at me shocked, "I'm joking."
"You make jokes?" Cadence asked sarcastically.
"Yes, I do. When ponies grow a thicker skin and get a backbone." I said as I started to tenderize the steak. I gave it a light pounding, I wanted it tender and juicy. I finished preparing the steak and some mushrooms, then I put them in the oven and instructed the chefs on how to cook them, and if they can't handle that then they should be fired. Cadence didn't agree with that at first, then I broke it down for her. Stating that if they can't prepare meals for meat eating ambassadors then it could result in a diplomatic incident. She soon understood and we continued on, I went to the dining hall with Cadence, there was Flurry in her highchair, Armor feeding her and Spike chewing on some gems. I sat down at the table and Flurry reached for me, making grabby hands. "No ma'am. You have to eat."
She stopped fussing and ate. Armor and Cadence both looked at me, "I will never understand how you do that."
"I barely know either, it seems to me that the babies and kids of this world know a lot more than we understand." I told them.
"Do you ever want to be a father Mickey?" Cadence asked.
"That's quite a loaded question to ask a guy you barely know that's dating your sister in law and her herd." I told them, "I know there's no experience like it, there's nothing like being a parent, but I'm scared of what might happen if our genes don't mix perfectly. Biologically speaking I'm more related to a chimpanzee than a pony, so I don't know what could happen. Even with the things that happened to me when I got here." I said.
Spike stopped chewing, Cadence paused, and Armor lowered the spoon, much to Flurry's protest, "Mickey, I...I didn't mean." Cadence started and I cut her off.
"No one means to, and yet it still happens. I'm gonna go for a walk, send a guard when my food is ready." I told her and stood up, leaving the dining hall. I wandered around the palace until I came across a grand piano alone in the middle of a cobweb filled ballroom. When I approached the piano I dusted off the keys and ran my fingers along the length. By some miracle, they were pretty decently tuned. It must have been here a while, the keys could sound a lot better I looked for something to tune the piano with. Not many people know that one of my first jobs I worked in a music store, tuning pianos was one of them. I....was terrible at it, I could get it within the key. However, I could never tell if it were sharp or flat. So I tuned the ones that I could get on key and hoped for the best, after I did that I brushed off the bench and looked at the ebony and ivory keys. I gulped a tiny bit and gently lay my hands across them and thought of a song, then there was one that popped into my head. I tested the keys, they had a satisfying ring to them. I started to play and sung to myself.
"There must be some kind of way outta here
Said the joker to the thief
There's too much confusion
I can't get no relief
Business men, they drink my wine
Plowman dig my earth
None were level on the mind
Nobody up at his word
Hey, hey
No reason to get excited
The thief he kindly spoke
There are many here among us
Who feel that life is but a joke
But, uh, but you and I, we've been through that
And this is not our fate
So let us stop talkin' falsely now
The hour's getting late, hey
All along the watchtower
Princes kept the view
While all the women came and went
Barefoot servants, too
Outside in the cold distance
A wildcat did growl
Two riders were approaching
And the wind began to howl! "
I finished singing and soon concluded with the piano as well. I looked around and saw a guard standing in the entranceway. I stood up and started to walk back to the dining room, I turned and looked back at the piano. I shook my head and chuckled to myself I dismissed it immediately and walked to the dining room. It was silent as I walked back in, a covered silver platter I took it off and started to dig into my steak. The air in the room was tense, I looked over at Armor and Cadence, "I'm not upset. I just don't like those questions."
"O-Okay." Cadence said nervously.
I continued to eat my steak and soon finished with my food, "Thank you for the steak, it's a very rare commodity and I appreciate it." I cleaned up and the platter was taken away as I got up.
Armor cleared his throat and I turned he looked at Cadence, She spoke up. "Mickey, I'm sorry for asking such a question. You're one of our guests, and you aren't a terrible...person?" She asked at the end and I nodded, she then continued. "Despite your rough exterior, you're a very nice person and I shouldn't question you about things you aren't ready for."
"Thank you, I'm sorry for being rude." I apologized, I returned to my guest bedroom and lay in the bed, falling asleep soon after, my dreams plagued by war and blood. I was greeted by the form of Princess Luna, and they suddenly all faded to black. "What are you doing here?"
"I wanted to see what your dreams were like. I....I had no idea." Luna said.
"This is one of the good nights." I told her.
"I can suppress these dreams." Luna offered.
"No, this is my burden to bear. I'll do it alone." I told her, "I would like a friend though."
"That. That I can do." Luna smiled and held out her hand and I shook it.
When I woke up I was staring at a ceiling that was not my own, I was slightly confused but then realized that Spike and I took a spontaneous vacation to the crystal empire. Then it all came back to me, the changeling Thorax, me walking around town, dinner, the piano. I sighed and then got up stretching, and cracking my various bones. I was in my jeans and pretty much nothing else. I walked over to the wall and did a handstand, balancing myself against said wall and started to push up and down. Is it the best thing in the world to do first thing in the morning? I very much doubt it, does it wake me up? Yes, yes it does. I repeated these motions about 25 times before calling it quits, after landing back on my feet I put on a shirt and walked out into the hallway.
I was greeted by a guard on either side of my doorway, I looked to one then to the other. The first was a stallion and the second was a mare, "I don't care if you two whisper about me, just don't go spreading rumors and we'll be good, understood?" I told the both of them and they nodded, "Now, that that's out of the way. Is breakfast still being served?" I asked and the female piped up.
"Yes, sir." She nodded.
"Well then, I think we can safely infer what it is that I desire now can't you?" I asked rhetorically.
And with that they led me to the dining hall once more, in nothing but a gray t-shirt and jeans. Hell I didn't even have socks on but that hardly matters at this point. I entered the room where breakfast was being consumed and I sat down in front of what looked like a breakfast buffet. Fruit was piled high, there was an almost literally mountain of eggs, a cacophony of different flavors of yogurt. It's a breakfast beat down of all my favorite foods, I couldn't turn my head and not see something I loved. Jolting me out of my succulent stupor was Spike subsequently slurping down sapphires, "Hey Mickey? You alright?" He asked.
Shaking my head I looked to the purple dragon, "I just got really f-" I cut myself off as I saw Cadence giving me a little stink eye as Armor was feeding Flurry, "Freaking hungry."
"Help yourself Mickey," Cadence gestured to the table. "There are a few things here and there just for you and Spike."
"I can't help but feel like I don't deserve any of this." I told her.
"It's fine, truth be told. You're like a walking tourist attraction." Armor said and I gave him a look, "Wrong choice of words." He concluded.
"What my sleep deprived husband is trying to say is...wherever you go, you generate interest. That interest boosts our economy, so in turn we reward you." Cadence explained.
"So what, you're saying that I have an occult following?" I asked them.
"There are a couple of...fanatics here and there, however there's nothing to worry about as they know you prefer to be by yourself most of the time. And the Equestrian government and the Crystal Empire have not released your domicile to the public." Armor said.
"Well that's just perfect, I have people obsessed with tracking my every move and it's not the government. That's just greeeeaaaat way to make me even more paranoid." I said as I grabbed some food.
"Habba garabl fttttt!" Flurry tried to interject herself into the conversation.
"Is there something you're trying to say little miss?" I asked Flurry.
The little alicorn, well...little is a bit of an understatement but the baby alicorn paused as I turned my attention to her, "Eee haga!" She shouted excitedly slapping her hands on her highchair.
"Oh really? Is it yummy?" I asked her. Her only reply was nodding, her curls bouncing up and down on her head, "Then I must try some immediately." I returned to my meal and Cadence couldn't help but crack a smile, I looked at her and grinned. "Oh yeah keep it up I Love Cadenza."
She blushed at that and Armor cracked up, "Ever since you pointed that out about her name she has been so self conscious about it."
She started to sputter, "I-I don't want people to literally say that they love me when saying my name, that type of love isn't natural it's forced."
"Like the love you forced on others when you didn't know if they were in a relationship or not?" I asked her, and she stopped. "Have you tried anything to even rectify that?"
Cadence went silent and so did Armor, Flurry looked at her parents and frowned. Spike was silent as well, "Muh-muh? Pa-pu?" Flurry called out reaching for her parents.
Cadence got up and pulled Flurry out of her highchair, rocking the baby alicorn back and forth, "To be honest, we have tried but...it's hard to remember. I did it on a whim so often that even when using memory magic it's a blur." The princess of love admitted.
I gathered food onto my plate slowly, "Every action, has an equal and opposite reaction. When you think you're helping someone along with love, you could hurt someone that was in love the one you just helped. This is why I don't like that you and Twilight are princesses of complex things. Love and Friendship are not easy things to rule over, they're delicate balances that require near omnipotence, and those are things that you and Twilight aren't. You're alicorns yes, but you're not gods or in this case goddesses." I explained while looking at a piece of scrambled egg stabbed to the end of my fork, I took a bite and swallowed. "Too much of an action for one individual might lead to many individuals being hurt, and too much action for multiple individual might lead to a single individual losing faith and getting hurt."
"So you're saying it's what? Hopeless?" Spike asked.
"No, it's not hopeless Spike. The people here have all the tools they need to function on their own without needing advice on how to make a friend or how to find love, but they're scared. Scared of failure." I said, "Hence they flock to experts. Here's the kicker, there's nothing wrong with failing, nothing bad about making a mistake. So long as you don't let it consume you."
"That's what ponies do, they let their failures consume them until there's nothing left but evil." Spike stated.
"Bingo." I said, "It's not just their failures either, it's the thought of failing that will consume them. So they don't take any risks, and thus we stagnate."
"Why?" Armor asked.
"Beats me," I said. "If I were to hazard to guess, and this is just me guessing. Nightmare Moon, Chrysalis, Discord when he was evil, wild dragons, Sombra, Tirek, amongst others. Now don't take this as gospel. But it seems to me that whenever someone tries to shake up the status quo, they're instantly blasted with a rainbow beam of who knows what will happen. Those are just EXTREME examples but it subconsciously implants a fear that you're not supposed to do anything that's supposed to change the way if life for ponies. Be it good or bad." I explained, "Even if a pony has a genius idea that could revolutionize the world, someone could take it the wrong way and out of fear they just won't do it. Like I said, I'm just guessing here. I don't really know the motivations of a whole 'nother species. I hardly even know my own if I'm being honest."
Cadence, Spike, Armor, and Flurry just stared at me expecting me to come up some magical answer. "What else?" Cadence asked.
"Damn it miss I love myself, I don't have the answers!" I nearly shouted, "I'm not some messiah that has descended from another universe to solve everyone's problems! I have my own messes to deal with and take care of."
Spike, Cadence, Armor, and Flurry looked at each other and frowned, "We're so-" Spike started but I cut him off.
"No, I'm sorry." I put down my fork and stood up, "You have been nothing but hospitable to me and I've replied to that with abrasiveness and being rude. I apologize."
The group was shocked, "I-I don't know what to say." Armor said.
"You don't have to say anything," I told them. "I've just gotten so overwhelmed with everything that's been going on with my life, first this whole Anti-Magic thing. Then Starlight, then Spike and my cabin is breaking down, and everyone turning to me for their answers and I just get so angry. I lash out-" I was cut off when Cadence approached me and put her hands on my shoulders. "Wait, what are you doing?"
She then pressed with a gentle yet firm touch into my shoulders, "Just relax." She said, "And it will help."
I did as she asked and soon I was melting into her touch, "Where did you learn how to do this?"
"I had other jobs besides babysitting." Cadence said, "You have a lot of stress in your shoulders. How are you not stiff?"
"I am, just not in my shoulders at the moment." I said receiving a light smack on the cheek with a baseball glove sized hand.
"There are children present." Cadence said.
I looked over to Flurry who was busy making raspberries, "I'm not that concerned." I stated.
"Just try to relax the rest of the time you're here." Cadence suggested.
"I would but I'm leaving tomorrow, Spike you're staying here another week or so." I told him as Cadence worked through a knot in my shoulder, "CIRCUMSTANCES, have changed and I need to get back to Ponyville as soon as possible, I also need to make sure that Starlight hasn't tried to plot a revenge scheme or something like that. Besides this was supposed to be a getaway for you, and I'm hogging it to myself."
"I thought this was about me eating or well not eating meat?" Spike asked.
"This trip is about you being comfortable in your own skin, and having your own self confidence. Spike, you're dependant on others for how you value yourself. The only opinion that you should care about is your own. And you need to spend some time away from the girls to find that for yourself. I just kicked you in the ass to get the fuck over here." I stated.
"Fuck!" The swear came from Flurry.
I hung my head. "I'll pack my things later tonight, and you use a mind wiping spell on her to forget that word." I pointed to a fuming Cadence after standing from my seat. I took a deep breath in and left the Crystal Palace before I get chased by the Princess of Love and The Prince of Being Whipped. When I got far enough away I sighed and looked around, the crystals sparkling in my vision as the inhabitants of the empire went along their business, some stared, some whispered, I didn't care anymore. I smirked to myself, walking through the local park and frowned. Staring at the reflection in the pond that currently held my attention, "What the fuck am I doing anymore?"
I came into this world and instantly made into a science experiment, through some grit and determination I escaped and made a life for myself in a forest, I made friends with the elements of harmony and now I'm going off on random adventures whilst having a roommate who doubles as my indentured servant. I made a spy network because I'm a paranoid motherfucker with nothing better to do. I gave my reflection a thousand yard stare, it did the same. I was broken, and I knew it, I have my burdens and I think it's time I share. "I need therapy." I told myself.
Author's Note
My life is settling, I'm finally getting ready to move out on my own, and I'm going to have a well paying job that I like. I was thinking about this story a bit and decided to pick it back up, I think I'm ready to write again.
The train ride back to Ponyville was a harrowing ordeal. I sat next to Thorax, he had brought along some of his changeling friends that had also wanted to secede from the rule of Queen Chrysalis. The bad part was his definition of the word SOME. When you think of the word some you tend to think of from 3 to 6, maybe 3 to 8 if you're feeling generous; this shapeshifting asshole thought some meant upwards of 20. So I had to rent out an entire car, pay off the entire train staff, and the ticket booth guy. Which was not easy considering almost all of them were in attendance for the wedding invasion. So after heavy bribery and some light threats, I managed to secure them passage in a cargo car. I looked at the changelings in said car, they were huddled against the walls and next to each other to preserve body temperature.
I managed to procure some blankets and food for the younger ones. I wrapped them up as tight as possible in the blankets, while I was wrapping up a Nymph named Ocellus she looked at me and spoke. "They seem to hate you. For what you're doing for us."
"People always hate what they don't understand." I said as I finished wrapping her up, "Besides, I'm used to it. People have hated me since before I got here."
"So, the ponies don't like us because they don't understand us?" Ocellus asked.
"That's part of it. The truth is complicated, and in order to understand why the ponies don't like you, is to ask you to be something you're not." I told her.
"Being something we're not is a part of being a changeling." She replied.
"Says who?" I asked her.
"It's tradition." She answered.
"Tradition is just your ancestors pressuring you to do what they've done. It's bullshit." I explained, "Now go sit with the others. Stay close together, you'll stay warmer that way."
I then shambled over to Thorax as he was huddled with another adult changeling, Zaten I think his name was. Zaten looked up at me and asked, "Why are you doing this? You could get in serious trouble."
"Why is the sky blue and the grass green?" I answered his question with another question. "Truth is I don't know, could be something about honor. The consequences of my past sins catching up to me, maybe something about redemption could be something about me being a marine. I could get in trouble yes, but I stopped caring a while ago."
"But what if you get caught?" Zaten asked me.
"There is nothing that they can do to me that I haven't already done to myself." I told him while sitting down, "I lived in a self imposed exile for 3 years when I got here, I trusted not a single soul but myself, I'm more than positive that I'm some sort of insane by now, but I don't care about that. You asked me for help, and I'm going to help you. No matter what."
"Th-Thank you." Zaten said.
"Don't thank me yet buggle, we've got a long way to go." I said as I exited the cart and entered a passenger cart. I made my way over to a member of the staff to grab more pillows and blankets.
"I still can't believe you're helping those things." The mare said, "They're monsters."
"So am I." I told her, "Your point is what?"
"But you don't eat love!" She tried to argue.
"Have you ever starved?" I asked her.
"What does that have to do with anything?" She asked.
"The thing about the changelings is, they never asked to be what they are, to eat what they eat, they only do what they do for one reason; survival. They can't grow food the same way ponies can, and they sure as hell can't consume it." I told them, I continued. "So yeah I'm going to help them, because they asked for help. If you want to call someone a monster, call them a monster because of their actions. I read about the wedding invasion, and I read a transcript of what their queen said, she said she is the one responsible for feeding her people. Did they do something bad, yeah they did. But they did it out necessity, that's not being a monster, that's being desperate. Being a monster is recognizing bad actions and actively choosing to do them. That's why I asked if you have ever starved, what are you willing to do to stop that hunger in your stomach, to stop the pain of going another night without any food? Because I have, I understand why they did what they did. I don't support it, but I understand it. So when they asked for me to help them. I did and I will continue to do so." I said and that shut her up, "So are you going to keep standing in my way? Or are you going to help someone because they asked for some help?"
She looked down, "Do the little ones need some hot chocolate? We have plenty of it."
"I think that would help immensely." I told her as she prepared a carafe of hot chocolate and put it on a cart for me. She the pushed it over to me and nodded as I got everything else. I pushed the cart into the cargo car and started to serve hot chocolate to help warm up the little ones as well as making the older ones more comfortable. "We should be out of the crystal empire and the frozen north within the hour." I explained. "The train will stop before the Ponyville station for some 'maintenance' and that's when we'll get off. We're going to be walking for a while so get as much rest as you can because it's going to be a long walk."
"Where are we going to be staying?" Ocellus yawned.
"In the abandoned castle of the two sisters. More specifically, the basement, cellar, and abandoned dungeon areas."
"So you are throwing us in a dungeon." Thorax stated fearfully.
"Yeah, except I'm giving you the keys and you can leave." I explained, "It's lacking a few basic needs, like running water and a place to shit."
"Oh we don't need to do that." Zaten said.
"You don't have to poop?" I asked.
"Kinda hard to poop when you eat love. Not exactly a solid." Thorax explained.
"Have you ever tried loving yourselves?" I asked them. They paused at that, I realized that they hadn't even considered the idea of that. "Let's circle back around to that at a later date. Is there anything you really need besides a place to live?"
"Well you said in order for you to help us we have to help you with your spy network." One of the other changelings said; I didn't have time to get all their names.
"Forgot about that one." I mumbled, "In order for you guys to work under me you have to get jobs yourself. I'm not exactly swimming in gold here, plus doing all of this to secure transportation for 20 changelings has taken most of my savings, on top of my impromptu vacation."
"So what do you want us to do?" Another asked.
"Collect information, anything from birthdays to weddings dates, divorces and affairs, all kinds of gossip. Most gossip has some truth behind it, it's just been filtered through so many ponies it's been muddled." I told them, "I'm going to need you to write this down in a book. Then I'll teach you how to defend yourselves, to keep Queen Chrysalis and her hive from poking their noses into business it doesn't belong."
"How are you going to do that?" One of the other adult changelings asked.
"I'm going to teach you the way I was taught, only the adults however. I'm going to teach the Nymphs something completely different." I explained, "Does that sound fair?" There were nods and murmurs of agreement, "Any money you earn will be yours, any information you gather, will be mine. Sound like a deal?"
"Deal." They all echoed at once.
"Alright, now get some sleep. We've still got plenty of time to travel." I told them and they all complied. I took a deep breath and sighed You better be prepared for what you're getting yourself into Mick. I rubbed my eyes, pinching the bridge of my nose. "I know." I said to myself as I sat down next to the huddled together Nymphs. They instinctively reached out and clung to me, Ocellus nestled herself right underneath my arm, giving me no choice but to wrap my arm around her. "War is no place for a child." The ambient lights of the night and towns surrounding the railroad tracks passed by, with every other flash of light the changelings turned into refugees from Iraq and Afghanistan. Ocellus turning from a changeling to a human girl in a burqa. I closed my eyes, and knew what the feeling was. Guilt. "I can't change what I did." I told myself, "Who I was, is not who I'm going to be." I felt a hand squeeze my arm and I looked down at the owner of said hand, it was Ocellus, it looked like she was having a nightmare. I raised my arm and slowly rubbed her frill, and hummed a lullaby. She seemed to calm down, slowly releasing my hand and slinking out of my grip.
I gently lay her head on a pillow, I looked at the changelings, they flashed to become refugees once more, except they stayed as changelings in human clothing. Then in another instant, they were back in their original clothing. Next to nothing but rags and former sacks of what were onions and potatoes. I went over to the cart, with the empty mugs and discarded wrappers of graham crackers, I pushed the cart back to the place I received it. I looked up at the staffer and she looked at me, "H-How are they?" She asked.
"Tired." I told her.
"Sounds like you're describing yourself." She replied.
"They're refugees of a war that was started by their leader to secure them a source of food. They got their ass kicked and their leader has gone off the deep end, and Equestria is uniting other countries against them." I said as I sat down, "I've seen the ugliest sides of war, and it doesn't matter who wins or who loses. Because in the end there are not winners or losers, there are the ones who survive and the ones who don't. Right now, the changelings aren't surviving and they know it." I explained, "I'm a survivor of a worse war than the likes of every species on this planet will ever dream of and it broke me. I don't want to see people who don't want to be a part of a war be dragged into it."
"Why are you telling me all of this?" She said.
"To make sure that I'm not alone in my thoughts." I told her, "Because if I know that there's someone out there who possesses the same knowledge of those people just wanting to escape a terrible life in an attempt to make a better one for themselves, then I may sleep a little better at night." I said.
"What if I go and tell someone?" She asked.
"Who would believe you?" I retorted and looked out the window, "Still a ways off." I settled into my chair and looked at my phone, it was 9:47 pm. "Wake me up when we stop." I told her and she silently nodded. I soon drifted off into a nap. I was awoken by the mare shaking my foot, I looked up at her and she nodded. I grabbed my seat and made my way to the cargo car. Time to work.
Author's Note
A promise long overdue.
I woke up with a snort, I was so tired last night after guiding the refugees here that I must've passed out in the throne I was sitting in. I heard the birds chirping, and the wind blowing through the leaves. I stood up and brushed myself off, I turned around and looked at the throne that I had occupied all night. Thinking back to what I had said last night, and I swear I could hear the wind speak to me right before I passed out, it asked. "Where's your crown?....." Well if I wasn't already insane then that confirmed it. I'm not a king, I'm a shitty leader and an even shittier boyfriend. I slowly walked down the steps and stood in the old throne room, "Well...If no one is going to fucking use it. I'm going to make a few changes." I heard some chittering after I spoke and then went down to the dungeon.
The changelings all stood there, huddled together and I looked at them, they were terrified. I sighed and looked at them, "I'm gonna regret this." I mumbled to myself. Within 15 minutes I had all of the changelings, nymphs and infiltrators stood in the abandoned and half deteriorated courtyard. "I'm going to be honest with all of you," I started. "You're all very pathetic, and weak. I very much doubt that you could defend yourselves from a baby at this point."
The changelings wined and looked at me. "Are you going to go anywhere with this?" Thorax asked tiredly.
"I was getting to that point; none of this is your fault. You got dealt crap and had to survive by being crap. You're not going to change overnight, I find it funny considering your species name is changeling." I said, "This world doesn't like your kind, and that's not your fault. You did what you have to in order to survive and I am one of the only people in this god forsaken rainbow land that can actually see that. But that doesn't change the fact that no one likes you, so there will come a point in time where you have to decide what you're going to do about it. I've done what I could to provide you with the building blocks to start a new life here underneath this decrepit castle. I'm also going to give you something else."
The changelings were buzzing with excitement. "What is it?" Ocellus asked me.
"There's going to be people that want to take this away from you, to take your newfound freedom from you. I'm going to give you the tools you need to defend yourselves when that time arrives." I told them and suddenly they all got very quiet.
"You're going to teach us how to fight? But that's why we wanted to leave the Badlands, and the Crystal Empire! So we wouldn't have to fight!" The changeling named Zaten said.
"I'm not asking you to go out and start a war, I'm not going to train you on how to do that. But what are you going to do when you run out of places to hide? When you can't run any farther or any faster? What then?" I asked them, the answer was silence once more. "I understand why you don't want to fight, I really do. I've been fighting for so long that I didn't think I could fight any more, but then a little voice speaks up in the back of my head. If you don't fight for something, they're going to take away EVERYTHING." I told them, and walked forward, "Every day you fight something, you fight to survive. You fight to wake up, you fight to be scared, and you fight to be happy. When the world doesn't like you, you gotta say back to the world, 'I didn't ask if you liked me, I asked if you're ready for round 2.'"
"I'm ready!" Ocellus cheered.
"You got guts kid, but you're going to need more that just guts. You have to have determination, will, and resilience. Because the world isn't going to give you anything else. It's going to fight you and you have to be prepared to fight back." I told her, I looked to the others. They soon grew stone faced and determined, "I'm not going to lie to you. This is going to be hell, I'm going to push you. I might even break a few of you, but that's okay. Because in the end, I want you to succeed where your changeling brethren have failed. I want you to be the best you can be, not for some fucking queen who doesn't even care about you, or doesn't even know your fucking names. I want you to be the best you can be for yourselves. To fight for a future that you want, that you deserve!" Soon after that they were all cheering. "But first, we need to get to work. This courtyard isn't going to turn itself into a training ground."
That's exactly what we did, we got to work. Fixing the dungeons into a suitable home for the changelings, turning the courtyard into a training ground. This was within the span of a few days, and no I didn't spend all my time with the changelings, I went home after the first day. We built for a few hours every night after I got off work with Applejack and Sweet Apple Acres, I've been crashing with Zecora. She really likes to cuddle; however on one of the nights on my way to her hut, I figured out that I was being followed. I pulled out my KA-Bar I had been bringing with me into the Everfree.
I led the pursuer through a wild goose chase through the woods, and had finally lost them. I had lived in the forest for several years, I know most of its tricks and pratfalls. I could easily lose someone be it predator or prey. When said pursuer came near my position I grabbed them and flung them to the nearest tree I almost pressed my KA-bar against their throat until I noticed a distinct pink coloring. I just hurt Pinkie. "PINKIE!" I shouted, "Fucking hell are you alright?"
"You're a lot stronger than I give you credit for honey-bunny." Pinkie commented, "I'm fine. After all you don't grow up on a rock farm without becoming tough."
"What are you doing out here? And why were you following me?" I asked her.
"I was...out for a walk, and I wanted to surprise you?" Pinkie half-heartedly said.
"Pinkie, don't bullshit a bullshitter." I said, "You wouldn't be out here if not for a good reason and you know how I feel about surprises. You just can't do that to someone that's as paranoid as I am."
"I thought you were getting better about that." Pinkie mumbled.
"It's a process, it's something that takes time. It's kinda like asking you to change your mane and tail color from fuchsia to pitch black. It's not impossible, it just takes a fuckload of time." I told her, "That still doesn't answer the question of why the hell you were following me."
"I was...I was worried for you. You had left on a whim and then suddenly come back and start spending most of your time in the everfree forest or at work. You can't even make it home most of the time and just sleep with our herd sister Zecora." Pinkie said, "I got worried that you were doing something scary."
"My actions have been erratic for the past few days haven't they?" I asked rhetorically, "I'm sorry Pinkie, I've had a lot on my mind and I've wanted to help everyone at once without really considering how they would feel and how concerned they would be of me."
Pinkie came up and hugged me, "Could you please try not to make a habit of it?" She asked with a slight tremble in her voice.
I wrapped my arms around her waist and lifted her up, "I'll do my best." I then set her down and she bent down to kiss me, which I gladly reciprocated. When we broke apart I looked at her, "Pinkie, can you keep a secret?"
"Of course I can!" She cheered.
"Even if it was from the girls?" I asked her.
"I-I don't know." She replied, "How big of a secret is it?"
"It's huge." I told her, "People's lives are at stake."
"I-I think I could." She answered.
"I can't tell you what I've been up to unless you absolutely know that you cannot tell a soul." I told her, "These people can't trust anyone but me. Do you understand what I'm saying?" I asked her, "Can you keep this a secret?"
Pinkie gulped, then the baker nodded. "Yes I can keep it a secret, even from the girls."
"Pinkie Promise me." I asked her, I knew that was being excessive but I can't risk anything coming out too soon.
"I cross my heart, hope to fly. Stick a cupcake in my eye that whatever you're about to show me that I'll keep a secret, even from my friends." She said while doing the motions. I held out my hand and she took it, I stuck my knife back into its sheath and led her through the forest, back to where I had come from, the castle of the two sisters. In the time that I was spending there, I had decided to replace the old rope bridge, with solid oak and stone. We also found a use for the old dungeon cell doors, I had them turned into a gate with a locking mechanism that only I and a few others knew how open, the changelings could now fly, well a majority of them knew how to fly. The others used the bridge. Pinkie was taking in all the new features of the castle. I then showed her the occupants of the castle, she gasped and attempted to run off but I grabbed her by the wrist and with all my strength I held her there. "Mickey! We need to go warn the others!"
"Pinkie, these were the people I was talking about." I said coldly and that stopped her.
"Y-You did this?" She asked, "But why, changelings are no good, love stealing-"
"Monsters?" I completed for her looking in her eye. "Look at them." I told her but she avoided my gaze, "Look at them. " I reiterated. She gulped and looked at the sleeping changelings, the ones who were awake were huddled in a corner, in a defensive stance in front of the nymphs. "I'll tell you what I see, I see people that were pulled into a conflict that they had no other choice to be a part of; they're just people who want the protect their kids, and not be caught up in a fight just so that they can eat. They're hungry, they're scared, they need someone's help. You call them monsters, here's the thing about monsters Pinkie, monsters are not born. They're created. You're dating a bigger and badder monster than the changelings. Or did you forget the fact that I'm probably the only one in equestria that has willingly taken another life?"
"That's- but that's different." Pinkie tried to argue.
"How?" I replied, "I chose to become a marine, I chose the life of being a killing machine and I chose to kill or be killed. They never chose to become changelings, they sure as hell never chose to eat what they do, and they didn't choose Chrysalis to be their ruler." I told her, "Right now, the only monster I see. Is me." During my entire spiel I felt Pinkie's resistance against my grip weaken she stopped trying to pull away. "They need help, and most importantly. They need a friend."
"How can I help?" Pinkie looked up at me, I smiled at her.
Author's Note
Have a sexy chapter, it's skippable but this is something to hold you folks over. Also I'm getting back into writing, I got a decent laptop and that's all I'm going to use it for. Featured again, I still got it.
Journal Entry #32 (NSFW)
Pinkie kept her end of the deal, while I kept training the changelings. You know what, I’m not even going to call them changelings anymore, they’re refugees. They’re immigrants that need help, and I am helping them. I learned how to forge weapons and armor from a local armorer and blacksmith. It’s been a long while since I’ve helped them out, but getting some of their old equipment was a huge ask. I still managed to do it though, getting them to the castle of the two sisters however, that was a different story. I did that under the cover of night and well it took me almost all night to get it to the castle. When I got it there, I spent the night with the refugees. How about the Dragonflies? I’ll call them the Flies for short? I spent the night with them, the morning broke and I spent the most of the morning building a proper forge. Then teaching them how to forge weapons, and how to use those weapons.
They started to dig under the castle and build their own town under it, never disturbing the castle above, and my excursions to the Everfree were excused by the fact that I went to bond with Zecora. Which I did, and she knew about the Flies, she had no stake in the fight between changelings and ponies, and she knew these were people who just wanted to escape a war. She’s seen enough war between her tribesmen over petty things; I slept in Zecora’s hut with her and she, well she sucked on my cock like a popsicle.
I just looked down at her as she looked up at me, “You having fun with that?”
“Mmmhmm.” Zecora hummed as she kept to her antics.
I grunted and shot off another load into her mouth. She hummed again as she swallowed it down. She slid her mouth off, “You seemed like you needed some stress relief, and I am here to be the source.” She said rhythmically.
I gently grasped her chin, “I don’t like treating my herd-mates like they’re pieces of meat.” I brushed her cheek with my thumb, “I should go home and get some rest shouldn’t I?”
“My darling, I love you. But when you find something to commit to, you commit everything you can to it.” Zecora raised herself up beyond my eye level and looked down at me. My hand now rest on her breast, “You have that warrior mentality, going from mission to mission. Putting yourself through everything to accomplish it.” She cradled my head in her hand, “You cannot help the way you were trained. You cannot unlearn that, you can however learn how to love others as much as you love your missions.”
“If it weren’t for you girls, I’d be swinging from the rafters by now.” I told her.
“You are a worn down broken man, waiting for the next creature to call out for help, then you help them.” Zecora said, “There is nothing wrong with being a hero but you must embrace that.”
“I’ve done too many monstrous things to be called that. Zecora, I’ve killed others. I’ve done things that still haunt my dreams every night! I...I can’t sleep at times.” I told her.
“Perhaps it is time you let another into your bed, to help you with those nightmares.” She said.
“My house is too small, and I’m not about to go from house to house with my herdmates in order to get a good night’s sleep.” I said.
“I have heard of your desire to make yourself larger, and for that I can provide for. A potion ingested will get past your natural defenses, though it has to be something you desire, it must come from within your hearts fire.” She said.
“Are you scared that if I’m as big as you are, I’ll treat you as less of a being?” I asked her.
“The thought had my mind in a tussle, but you are a bird whose feathers do not easily rustle.” Zecora got on her knees and wrapped her arms around me. “I am scared for your health my love. And this potion is something that is not so easily partaken, but if you truly wish to do so, then I will not be mistaken.”
“I just want to be able to look you in the eyes, whenever we’re on a walk together or on a date or even making love. I don’t want you to think that I’m a child, and I don’t want others to think ill of you girls.” I brushed her mane with my hand, “This is something that I want.”
“It will take me a few days to gather the ingredients. Until then, you should enjoy the company of another besides Fluttershy or I.”
“Who do you think I should be with next?” I asked her.
“Our Alpha has been waiting patiently for your company, she has gotten more...creative with her punishments.” Zecora shuddered.
“Alright then.” I gathered my clothes, and started putting them on. Zecora hugged me as I did, I finished putting on my clothes and kissed Zecora. “I’ll handle her.”
As I exited the Everfree forest, I could see the Castle of Friendship in the distance and I gulped. It didn’t take long for me to get to said castle and open the doors. I could hear grunting and moaning in the floors above, I slowly made my way up to Twilight’s bedroom, to see her on full display, playing with her purple and pink pussy. “Give it to me Mickey!” She moaned as she drove her fingers deep into herself.
I slowly opened the door, “Are you sure you want me to do that?” I asked her and she stopped playing with herself.
“Mickey!” Twilight shouted then she scrambled to cover herself up, “What are you doing sneaking up on me like that!?”
“I thought I was welcome. I can go if you want me to.” I started to leave.
“Wait!” Twilight shouted, “Please stay.”
I did as she asked, “I heard that you’ve been getting creative with punishing your herd mates.” I looked at her with a look of being hurt. “I don’t like that. You girls tearing yourself apart over me.”
“I don’t hurt them!” Twilight said, “I just get envious.”
“Twilight, have they ever had to use a safe word?” I asked her.
“Fluttershy once, Zecora...three times.” Twilight blushed, “I don’t know where it comes from then...I take it too far.”
“Probably because you’re not a good dom.” I told her, “Lemme guess, you feel so much pressure from the other girls to keep the herd together and release your pent up feelings on them during times when it should be a mix of pain and pleasure instead of just pain.”
“You really think that?” Twilight said.
“Twilight, we may have met when you were already a princess, but from what you told me. You never really changed from that shy, nerdy, little girl who spent most of her time around books that people.” I smiled, “You can’t dominate a pony to save your life. Now, Rarity on the other hand. Oooh she could dominate me if she ever was given the chance.” I cooed.
“Why Rarity?” Twilight asked.
“Because she owns the room when she walks in it. The only time she doesn’t is when she’s with friends and that’s rare. Everything must be about her, from her dress to her importance.”
“So, she has a certain confidence about her that I lack?” Twilight asked.
“Twilight, you’re adorkable. That’s your lane and you should stay in it.” I told her, “Just keep being yourself and try not to be anything else.”
“Okay.” She blushed, her nether regions were still on full display, winking like crazy almost as if she were inviting me in.
“Now that we’ve got that settled, onto more important matters.” I smirked.
“Oh really?” Twilight purred, “And what pray tell would that be?” She crossed her legs and put her right hand on her chin, resting her elbow on her inverted knee a smirk quickly grew on her face.
“Me, taking care of my mares.” I started as I came into the room, closing the door with my foot. Twilight’s horn lit up with her raspberry aura and I heard a lock and a soft boom behind me. “Sound proofing spell?” I asked, she nodded in response. “Good, because earlier it sounded like you were a screamer.” I kicked off my boots with some difficulty and undid my belt. I did this all while slowly walking towards her. She didn’t seem to mind the show, as she slowly stroked her sides with her hands while laying back . Her smirk and scent permeating the air is what got me more and more excited. I pulled at my shirt tail, pulling it over my head and tossing it at her face playfully. She hummed in pleasure while sniffing the article of clothing, her fingers rubbing her marehood that already glistened. She spread her legs purposefully to give me a good view. I stripped my pants off as she took my shirt off her face, she took a look at my body and her breath hitched. "Like the view?" I asked.
"Yes indeed." Twilight purred whilst fondling her 75 HH sized tits. Needless to say that her fondling got me excited, my excitement was peaking through my boxers, well I say peaking but it was actually poking out by several inches. I looked down, my pride and shame; I call it that for a specific reason I was quite comfortable with what I had before what happened to me. However, I won't complain about it anymore. Before I knew it Twilight's fondling call me over like the song of a siren, and I was right at her, not before stripping my boxers. I was now fully nude and showing off my erect 3rd leg. Twilight's breath hictched, as I got on the bed she came in for a closer view slowly starting to stroke it. She came in close to my ear and whispered in it. "I've seen pictures in the other world but I've never really seen one up close before." She then went and kissed my neck causing a lightning bolt to charge through me like the Juggernaut she stroked some more, causing a pearl of precum to appear at the tip. She then went down and licked it off the tip. She looked back up at me, "Do you like being dominated?" She asked.
My breath hitched, "I like being tied up, but I don't like it when rope is used, it's too corse."
Twilight took the initiave and wrapped her arms around me releasing my cock, that caused me to tense up, Twilight still being astute took note of this and whispered sweetly into my ear just exactly what she was going to do. "It's okay, I got you. I'm laying us down okay?" She explained, "Don't want us falling off the bed." That cause me to drop my guard a bit, and I slowly melted into her grip as she lifted and lay the both of us down. My cock was still erect and now sandwiched between the both of us. She looked down at it, sliding her whole body down mine, without lifting off me she soon had my cock inbetween both of her gargantuan tits. The head just poking out of the top of her cleavage. She sqeezed her tits together, squishing my cock between her giant funbags. She started rubbing her tits up and down alternating the strokes, with the left tit going up while the right one was going down, all whilst licking and suckling on the tip.
"Fuuuuuuuuuck." I moaned out in pleasure, as she picked up the pace. She pinched her nipples as she did so, eliciting a twitch of excitement from my cock and she smirked. "You've practiced haven't you?" I asked her.
She licked the tip again, "I wanted to make sure that your first time with me was something memorable. My marine." She then started sucking excuslively on the head and rubbing her tits up and down at the same time. I felt like I was melting from the inside out, as I was getting ready to blow a load I reached down to her head and she looked up with her giant eyes understood my face of pleasure as I grunted then I shot a load into her mouth, my load being larger than normal. I heard audible gulps as she slowly swallowed my cum.
My face was redder than crimson as she wiped her chin and licked the rest of my cum from the back of her hand. She gained a sly grin, lit up her horn, "Now you're going to eat your princess out. You're not going to whine, moan, or complain. Is this understood my marine?" She commanded whilst she climbed my body, her tail brushing over my chest. My attention being lazer focused on her, she was focused on the silk post wrappings which undid themselves from the bed posts in a raspberry aura and slowly tied around my wrists and ankles. When I felt them tightening around my ankles I started to panic and thrash my legs. Twilight's ears pivoted to the sound of my legs struggling and realized what she was doing she took the silk wrappings off my legs and I calmed down. "Not around the ankles?" She asked. I replied with only a nod of my head to give her conformation to her question. "Not too tight either?" She asked, another conformation. She continued wrapping the silk around my wrists and lightly tightened them.
I could do nothing but look up as Twilight's glistening marehood while she looked down at me then lowered herself. She slightly opened her wings and started to tease my cock and balls with the primaries of said wing. I have a little trick when it comes to eating a woman out, I spell out the alphabet with my tongue. For some unknown reason I never needed to go past the letter K, I started off. Her flavor was that of raspberries, like her magic aura when I got to the letter E Twilight began to grind her pussy back and forth on my face. I continued and and she rubbed my cock with her wing some more as well, moaning while I did so. When I got to the letter K she began to moan out, "Ahh fuck." I continued my assault on her pussy and she shoved my head in deeper with her hand. When I got to the letter M, "Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! I'm getting close!" When I got to the letter S, grinding even faster she then pushed me in to her pussy deeper. I kept it up and then she reached her peak, her wings completely springing out and screamed with the royal canterlot voice, "FUCK!" Her eyes rolling back, as she came I was met with a rush of raspberry flavoring. I did as Twilight did to me earlier and gulped down as much as I could.
She came down from her high and looked down, seeing that I was halfway inside her. She then let go and pulled me out, "Next time you want to use me as a dildo, lemme know." I quipped, as Twilight lowered herself onto me, her wings were still on full display. She began to lick my face akin to a mother lioness giving her cub a bath. That's what she was to me, a purple lioness.
She licked from my cheek up to my temple and across my forehead. Then she switched over to the other side of my face, but the only thing I could think about were those giantic tits. I kept looking down until she saw where my attention was focused and smiled. "Is my marine thirsty?" She chuckled and I looked back up at her. I gulped as I tried to blink her juices out of my eyes. She saw that as well, and lit up her horn, causing my head to immediately dry itself, including my beard, she then leaned down and kissed me, right on the mouth, our flavors combining. We broke apart a small bridge saliva connecting us, she moved herself up again. Her tits glew for a few moments before she commanded again, "Open." The only thing I could do was open my mouth as she plopped her nipple into it. Instinctively I started to suckle, I was caught off guard when a squirt of milk poured itself onto my tongue and I jerked my head back only to have my head pushed back into her nipple as Twilight looked down at me and lit up her horn once more and her magic aura wrapped around my dick slowly stroking it again.
Like a child I was suckling at her tit, she pet my head as I did so squeezing her boob to shoot more milk into my mouth. She and I both hummed in pleasure, I just continued with the suckling, drinking up the milk that Twilight offered me. It took about a minute before I detacthed to take a breath, before Twilight's tit was replaced by Twilight's lips, she wrestled her tongue with mine as I jousted back for a better position. She pressed her body against mine as if I was going to lose my next breath. I didn't blame her she's been hungry for this moment for a while. She broke apart and stared right through me, "You are going to fuck me, you're going to breed me like I'm a whorse." Twilight commanded to me. "Now claim your treat."
"I get to put it in your ass?" I joked and that caused Twilight to pause.
"I-Do you want to?" She asked me. That caught me off guard.
"I was joking." I explained.
"Maybe next time," Twilight used her magic to undo my restraints, as she got on all fours. "Now fuck me."
"Yes ma'am." I said.
Twilight slid her tail to the side, revealing her still glistening pussy and puckered star. I got on my knees and ran my length along her pussy and then against her asshole, she then moaned as I pressed against her entrance. It soon gave way and I hilted myself into her warm pussy. It was sensational, I paused for a moment as she and I both moaned out in bliss. Twilight's tail wrapped around me as I slowly started thrusting in and out of her Twilight's wings slowly spreading. I slapped her ass leaving a red handprint on her cutie mark, I wrapped my hand around her tail and pulled it alongside with my thrusts. Her moans soon became squeals when I started doing that which only made me more excited and I sped up my thrusts. "Fuck me Mick, make me your mare!" That only made me more excited and I kept up my pace. Twilight grabbed her tit and started to suck on it. Using my other hand that wasn't pulling on her tail I run my fingers across her wing which made her moan loudly and suck harder on her tit. Touching her wing was a bit of a reach so I went back to slapping her ass.
Then I gripped her cutie mark and "Twilight, I'm going to cum." I informed her.
"Me too, hang on for a little bit more." She told me. I just grunted and slowed my pace a bit then she started moaning out and her pussy started to squeeze my cock, she shouted out "CUM FOR YOUR PRINCESS!" I couldn't hold back anymore when she said that and finally pressed myself fully against her and came inside her. I shouted out as I did so. She leaned back and spread her wings fully. We stayed like that for several minutes, I lay against her back. She and I lay on our sides on her bed with me still inside her. "Thank you." Twilight finally moaned out after about 15 minutes.
I slowly pulled myself out. "I'm sorry." I apologized.
She immediately rolled over and said, "No, don't do that. This isn't your fault." She told me, "I don't blame you for this, you said you wanted to go slow and we agreed with you. This is not your fault at all." She pulled me in and wrapped us in her sheets.
"You sure?" I asked her and she pushed me into her breasts again.
"We're willing to wait for you, we've been waiting for about a year at this point. What's a little bit longer?" She said while caressing my head.
"You're really soft Twi." I mentioned to her, "And your boobs are big."
"I blame my alicorn biology, it's the Earth pony side. They had the most childen." She chuckled.
We bathed in the afterglow of sex, while this isn't the first time she's seen me naked. This is the first time that she could truely appreciate me in my full nude glory. I rolled over in her arms, and let her be the big spoon, she had a good two feet on me so it only made sense. "What do you think about children?" I asked her.
"What do you mean?" She replied.
"Do you see yourself as a mother some day?" I retorted. She paused, I could feel her heating up. "You better get to work on that then." I quipped before letting my exhaustion get the better of me and finally descending into a state of finally peaceful dreamless sleep.
Weeks had passed since I had helped the Flies out and got them out of the Crystal Empire, they had adjusted well. They occasionally send me a message through a messenger bird, they were looking a lot healthier too, they slowly integrated into Ponyville and eaten ambient love. Some of them were even learning, after my suggestion of transforming into birds and listening to Cheerilee then using their secluded hivemind to teach the younger ones. Zecora had already known about the Dragonflies and with her help she created a potion for all of them to become cut off from the hivemind of the other changelings, that way the Flies wouldn't have to actively block out any intrusive Changelings that tried to find out where they were at, what they were doing, and most importantly, let Chrysalis know.
So they had their own hivemind and eventually had to elect a leader, they chose me and I informed them that it was a terrible idea. I wasn't a leader I was a paranoid fucker that actively rallied against the most powerful person in the country and was too curious for my own good. I wish I could say that they heeded those words, they however did not. I was also getting used to intimacy with my herdmates and yes I eventually had to forgive Dash for spying on the love making session between Fluttershy and I. But not before I thoroughly humilated her to make sure she wouldn't get too big of an ego again. Not only did I have Twilight ground her for a week, during the entire week she had to wear a chicken outfit, in public. When anyone decided to ask why she was wearing a chicken outfit, she had to do the chicken dance and sing about how she didn't respect other people's privacy.
If she took it off in public the week was reset, now I'm not a sadistic asshole so I allowed her to take it off when she got home. However, she had to go out in public for at least 5 hours, eventually the public caught on to how to make her do the chicken dance and Applejack scared them off. Rainbow was red in the face and puffing when she looked up at Applejack standing by her stall in the market, "I'm tired of this AJ." Rainbow commented, "It's embarrassing."
"Well, it sucks for you. But imagine how embarrassed Fluttershy musta felt when she heard that her best friend revealed what had happened in her bedroom." Applejack chastised. "What I don't understand is exactly why you would go and do something like that." Rainbow could only mumble something in response. The orange mare crossed her arms, "Now you're acting like Fluttershy, dangit girl speak up!"
"I was jealous okay?!" Rainbow shouted, "I just...I wanted to feel that too...don't get me wrong I love you girls, but when I saw what I did I just felt like I was worthless."
"So you decided to drag Fluttershy down with you?" I asked, and I popped my head up from behind the stall and set another crate of apples onto the wagon.
"M-Mickey?" Rainbow stammered, "I-I didn't know you were working the stall today."
I dusted my hands against one another, straightened out my back, and looked at Rainbow. "Dash, there's one thing you need to understand." I walked right up to her and stared her down, "The world doesn't revolve around you. Your ego, is getting in the way of your life and it hurts your friends as well. So, this public humilation is the perfect way to make up for how you publically humilated Fluttershy."
Rainbow looked down, "I-" She started and by the time she looked at me I was already back at the stand, bagging up apples as Bloom negotiated the sale. "Okay, but can I please get some applejuice?"
I pulled a cold bottle of said thirst quencher from underneath the stall in a cooler and handed it to her. "Here." Applejack gave me the stinkeye, "Take it out of my pay." I told her.
Applejack relaxed a bit. "Alright. But you gotta attend dinner this evening."
"Can I have something other than apples?" I asked.
"If you bring something we can cook it up and eat it, just keep in mind our dietary habits." Applejack suggested.
"Eh, fine." I aquiesced, "Maybe I can bring some of those mushrooms that guy who also does piercings. I heard he was selling eggs now."
I continued to help with the stall until it was time to close up at the market. Because it was just AJ, Bloom, and I. Mac was able to stay at home and take care of more chores at home. He also got a new sweetie recently, so he had a small herd going on with Cheerilee and Sugar Belle. So anything I could do to allieviate his burdens would we a great help to me as well. I scratch your back you scratch mine situation, so we packed up the cart and Applejack and Apple Bloom started to pull the wagon back as I kept an eye on the back of the wagon itself, just to make sure nothing falls out of the back. We got to Sweet Apple Acres decently quick and the cart slowed to an immediate halt when we got in eyesight of the house. "Oh dagnabbit, not those two again!" I heard AJ complain, "Apple Bloom can you get the cart back into the barn by yourself? Last time Mick tried he darn near threw out his back." Did not.
"Sure thing!" Bloom said, as AJ unhooked herself. The cart started to move again this time at a much slower pace. I looked at the 'two' that AJ was complaining about only to see two lanky pale yellow unicorns that look like they were missing the other two to their barbershop quartet. Flim and Flam, AJ told me about these two. Con artists and snake oil salesmen. The fact of the matter is that those two are in need of a good scaring, and me with my anti-magic would be good against two unicorn con artists. I walked alongside the wagon until it got pulled into the barn, then when Apple Bloom unhooked herself she looked at me. "Mickey, you got a crazy look in your eye. I don' like it."
"Nothing you need to worry about Bloom." I tussled her mane, careful not to offset her. "Say can you answer me this?"
"Sure what is it?" She questioned back.
"Where did your big brother put the axe?" I asked her.
"How many times have we told ya? We don't want ya around here! Ya nothin' but no good filthy varmints!" AJ cussed out Flim and Flam.
"Now see here missy we are nothing but good, honest, business ponies!" Flam argued back.
"Good, honest, business ponies with a good, honest, business proposal!" Flim echoed.
Mac just crossed his arms and I whistled like a bird, which caught his attention upward. I was behind the crest of the roof, showing the handle of the axe. And my wicked smile. I mouthed, 'back up.' He backed away and put his hand on AJ's shoulder. "Applejack." That caught her attention. "Back up." Then he aimed his eyes upward. Toward the roof, she backed up and then all four heard quick and loud thuds.
I jumped off the roof with the axe cocked behind my head. "MY AXE IS MY BUDDY!" I shouted as I came down, right betwen the two pairs. I lodged it into one of planks of wood on the porch. I stared at the axe for a few seconds, I slowly turned my head to Flim and Flam. Then I spread a slow grin across my face, "I never leave without him. Me and my axe will leave your head a bloody fountain!" I pulled out the axe and Flim and Flam took off I sprinted after them. "EVERYPONY, EVERYPONY, EVERYPONY RUN! MURDERING, MURDERING, MURDERING FUN!" I shouted again whilst waving the axe like a madman. "Swing, swing, swing, chop, chop, chop! Swing, swing, swing, chop, chop, chop!" I then stopped after one of them fell over, I think it was Flam.
"Get back demon! I have magic!" He shouted.
"Then use it." I said in the deepest voice I could muster.
He tried to ignite his horn but only got sparks. "Wh-what's going on?" He questioned.
"Oh, you didn't know?" I said once more, "I'm a special kind of demon, a vengeance demon. As for your magic? I ATE IT!" I pointed the axe at Flam and his brother. "You two, have lied and cheated good, hardworking ponies out of their bits for far too long! For that, I was sent to take revenge on behalf of those ponies that you swindled!"
"P-p-p-please don't hurt us!" Flim begged whilst crouching next to his brother, arms wrapped around him.
"Why shouldn't I? What happened to the ponies who begged for their money back? Did you give it back? Or did you abscond with the payday?" I asked.
"You're right!" Flam said, "We ran and we swindled. But we swear we won't do it again!"
"Yeah that's right!" Flim agreed.
Time to show them I wasn't messing around. I swung the axe and embedded it into the dirt between Flam's legs. "Not....good....enough." I growled.
"We'll give it back!" Flam blurted.
"What?" Flim asked and I growled again. "Yes, yes, yes, yes, we'll give it all back."
I looked at the pair, and then an idea came to my mind. Time to pull out a line from one of my favorite wrestlers of all time, "If you don't, I will find you. Then you will...REST...IN.....PEACE!" I said as I rolled my eyes into the back of my head. I pulled up the axe, sending small chunks of dirt flying. I hefted the axe onto my shoulder, and they took off running once more. When they were over the horizon, I sighed and looked back at the farm, then looked back where the brothers used to be. "Good fucking riddance." I looked down and kicked the dirt, displacing it to the point where there's only a slight divot. I brushed the dirt off the axe head as bes I could and turned back to the farm, walking back with axe in hand. Something moving in the corner caught my eye, it's nearly Zap Apple season so it would make sense that Timber Wolves would be out here. However, that was not the case this time around.
It was Apple Bloom with a camera in tow, she smiled and waved some pictures she took, "I'm glad I didn't throw away my camera for my photography cutie mark attempt. I think Flam peed himself." She giggled.
"C'mon kiddo, let's get back inside." I smiled, "It smells like dinner is almost ready. Plus it looks like it's gonna get dark soon, and you don't want any DEMONS coming after ya!" I joked.
She skipped out of the woods and walked alongside me back to the house, giggling at my joke. "Ya think you scared them off for good?"
"For good? Eh, probably not. Did I scare them straight? More than likely, I mean. When you first met me you were scared of me. But now? You're like my little sister." I wrapped an arm around her and lightly shook her from side to side.
"Yeah, and you're like my weird older brother." Bloom said.
"C'mon Kira let's get back inside." I said smiling, while a few feet away from the porch. With Applejack and Mac looking at us, they looked bewildered. Apple Bloom on the other had stopped entirely while I continued my stride for a bit more, only stopping when I noticed she wasn't alongside me anymore. "What's wrong?" I asked her.
"Who's Kira?" She asked.
I paused, "What?"
"Who's Kira? You called me Kira." Bloom said.
"No I didn't." I denied.
"Yeah, you did." Applejack piped up.
My heart skipped a beat, I looked to Mac he just nodded. I tossed the axe down onto the grass, "I gotta go." I said quickly and started to walk away.
"Oh, no you don't. Not this time." Applejack said as she hopped off the porch and started after me. "Mick." She said when she caught up to me, "Mickey." I ignored her and kept on. "Mickey!" Still walking. "MICHAEL FRANK YOUNG YOU STOP RIGHT THIS INSTANT!" She shouted and that got me to stop. Everything stood still for what seemed like an eternity. I remained stock-still Applejack slowly approached me, and slowly took my hand into hers. She could feel my heartbeat in my hand, I know this because I could hear it ringing in my ears. She slowly came into my line of sight, lightly took my other hand. "Look at me." She whispered, "An' don't you dare make me ask twice." I could feel as if my neck were creaking like an unoiled hinge as I looked up at her. Her beautiful jade eyes, they were full of sadness and compassion. She took one of her hands and brought it up to my cheek, slowly rubbing my cheek with her thumb. "It's okay." She whispered again.
"But what if it's not?" I asked her before thinking about my words.
"You still love her don't ya?" She asked.
"With all my heart." I replied with a mumble.
"Protect her with everything you got?" She questioned me again.
"And then some." I replied once more.
"You'd do the same with Apple Bloom too?" She asked and I just nodded. "Then you aren't replacing her. You're making more room in your heart." She pulled me in close, "An' that's okay."
I took a deep breath and slowly returned Applejack's embrace. I then let it out, "Okay."
She slowly turned me back toward the house. Then she led me back to the porch, Apple Bloom stood next to Mac. "Are you going to be okay Mickey?" The youngest apple asked.
"No, I'm not really going to be truly okay Bloom. But that's just fine, some days I will be okay, some days I won't be okay. That's why I'm glad your big sis loves me, and I love her. Because she knows when I'm not going to be okay. Then she helps me get back to being okay." I explained. She then blushed, her cheeks and ears getting redder and redder. "What's up?"
"You just said you loved Applejack." Apple Bloom muttered.
I looked at Applejack who was as red as Mac. "Izzat true?" Applejack asked.
"Well, you're the Element of Honesty. You tell me." I replied.
"I can't do that, you know that." She admitted.
"Well then, I said it. So I guess it must be true." I admitted.
"Well then," A deep baritone voice interrupted, coming from Mac. "I think supper's ready. So who's hungry?" He asked.
"C'mon everyone, let's go eat." I suggested and opened the door for Apple Bloom. Who rushed into the house. Mac followed in after her, and I held my hand out to Applejack who took mine and led me into house. The door closed behind me, I could smell the chow from here.
We all congregated at the dinner table and Apple Bloom recalled the story of me scaring off the Flim Flam brothers from her point of view. That got a few chuckles at the table with Granny Smith thanking me via giving me an extra slice of apple pie for desert. I smiled and graciously accepted, we continued on. I eventually gave up the reason why I called Bloom by my little sister's name. We soon finished our deserts and Bloom rushed upstairs to get in the shower and get changed for school tomorrow. Applejack insisted that I stay because it had gotten too dark and well I had to be here in the morning anyways so why not just spend the night? I couldn't and was too tired to argue with that logic so I stayed. I looked to Mac he nodded at me as Granny went to bed.
I found myself in a familiar spot, Applejack's bedroom. I didn't expect to go from one bedroom to another without stopping at my own first. Applejack came in, she was now wrapped in nothing but a towel. "Well then." She said, "Bathroom's open if you want to take a shower."
"I'll take one in the morning if you don't mind." I told her, "I'm just. Tired right now."
"That's fine." She said, then paused for a while. She broke the silence, "I'm proud of you."
I looked up at her, "Thanks."
"C'mon sugarcube. Let's get some sleep."
And so, we did.
Author's Note
The guy that Mickey is talking about, the one that sells eggs, mushrooms, and pierces people. Yeah I know him in real life, helped him move, great guy.
Also, Mickey was singing lyrics to the ICP song My Axe.
Finally, Kira is the name of my sister-in-law. She was named after The Dark Crystal.
Journal Entry #5 (Edited)
The market, I only come here out of necessity mostly because it feels a lot like Wall Street to me. I hate Wall Street they take their balls, and they dip them in cocaine, and they wipe them all over each other. Bunch of people trying to make bargains and deals, I just buy in bulk and wait until I run low. That's just my personal view of it, I was showered, dressed, and ready to start working. I walked up to the stall where Applejack and Applebloom were standing at the stall.
I cleared my throat as I approached. "Hey girls."
"Hey, Mick." Applejack said. "Now what you want ta do is-"
"AJ, I've worked retail before, I know how to do quick math." I cut her off.
Applejack crossed her arms. "Oh, really? Where did you work?"
"It was a company in my world, it was a lot like Barnyard Bargains, but on a more global scale. I had to wear red and khaki." I threw out that last part for no reason at all.
Applejack smiled. "Alright then, Apple Bloom behave yourself for Mickey. I've got to go back to the orchard."
"Alright Applejack, I'll behave." Apple Bloom said while looking out for customers. She then looked back to me. "So, Mickey. How old are you?"
"25." I answered the young Apple.
"Is that old?" She asked again.
"It's not that old. What about you?"
"I'm 237." Apple Bloom said.
"So do you measure your years differently?" I asked the little one.
"There are 365 days a year. 366 every four years." Apple Bloom pointed out.
"Than how old is Celestia?" I asked.
"Some say that she's as old as the planet itself." AB said.
"Well that's stupid." I commented.
"So, you're a lot younger than me." Applebloom said as she rung up a customer.
"Yes." I put the apples in a bag and handed it to the pony who purchased them. "But humans live until about 80 or 90, 100 if we're lucky."
"Oh." Applebloom looked at me. "So we're not going to have you around for long?"
"I don't like measuring by the years we have, but by the memories that a person makes and the effect they make on the people they meet." I said. "It makes me feel a little better about myself."
"Sorry, it's just that sometimes years fly by and ponies...die." Applebloom said with sorrow in her voice.
"I know you didn't get much time with your folks Bloom, but I'm not going anywhere." I said as I helped another customer, as the pony walked away I got a hug from Apple Bloom.
"Ya know, my sister really likes ya." Apple Bloom muffled into my shirt. "I kinda would like to see ya as my brother."
"Things like that aren't simple for me Bloom." I said as I tapped her hand.
Applebloom let go of the hug. "Why?"
"Have you ever seen a soldier, Apple Bloom?" I asked the filly.
"I've met Twilight's brother, does that help?"
"Yes and no, Shining Armor is a guard. He stays at home and protects, I'm a soldier I go to other places and kill." I explained. "Killing someone, it takes a toll on a person's psyche. It's something that someone should never do, but people do."
"What does that mean?" Bloom asked.
"I'm broken Bloom, I'm a broken...pony and it hurts." I said.
"Can anypony help?" Bloom asked.
"Actually, you can." I said.
"How can I help?" Apple Bloom asked.
"I wasn't talking to you Apple Bloom." I turned to look at Applejack. "Are you willing to help me Applejack?"
"Sugarcube, the girls and I have been waiting for that for over 2 years now. Apple Bloom, can you get the stall back home without any trouble?" Applejack asked her little sister.
"Yes, I can. I promise." Apple Bloom started to pack up the stall.
I walked over to Applejack. "So I'm guessing that Twilight has some long and drawn out plan that will eventually get thrown out the window?"
"Something like that." Applejack looked down at me. "What changed?"
"How do you mean?" I asked her.
"You decided to talk to us, in the 3 years that you've been here you have never opened up to us." AJ said. "Something changed."
"What Fluttershy said this morning really weighed heavily on my mind, I think...enough time has passed where I can be open with you girls. Maybe, we could have something. But, it's going to be slow."
"I understand, but I got a request." AJ said.
"Go for it, although I can't say I would accept it." I said.
Applejack had a little blush. "M-May I hold your hand?"
"That's going to look like you're holding hands with a child." I couldn't help but chuckle to myself as I imagined it. "Sure." I held out my hand.
Applejack slowly smiled and grabbed my hand with hers. It felt like I was putting my hand into a fuzzy baseball glove. I just smiled as she blushed. "Alright, now we got to go to Pinkie's so she can get everypony together."
"Alrighty then, let's go." I started to walk with AJ to Sugarcube Corner.
While we walked side by side ponies were whispering and I just looked at them with my evil eye. So what, I was holding hands with a woman almost twice my size. I was walking down the street with someone who could easily put me on her back and tote me around with no problem. I just smiled to myself and kept walking with AJ, we got to Sugarcube Corner pretty quickly considering it was like 500 feet away from the market. This town is really small when you stop and think about it, anyways AJ opened the door and I walked in with her. Pinkie was behind the counter when she saw and she had a huge gasp like she did in the first episode. What? I watched a few episodes, don't judge me. Wait, who the hell am I talking to? It's not like anyone is going to read this. I swear I'm going insane sometimes.
Pinkie just looked at the both of us. "Applejack, is he ready?"
"Yes, I am. I would've appreciated it if you asked me instead of her."
"Sorry, Mickey." Pinkie apologized. "I just wanted to be sure."
"Yes, I'm ready to talk about my past. I'm ready to start a relationship. Just as long as we take it slow. Got it?"
"Yes, but." Pinkie said and I already knew where she was going with her line of questioning.
"If you're wondering what changed my mind, it was Fluttershy. Now let's go." I pointed out the door. "I know that Sugarcube Corner closes around the same time as the market does."
The three of us started to walk towards Twilight's castle. I still had my hand in AJ's and she was still smiling and blushing the entire time.
There were several more days of dedicated hard work before Starlight's room was completed but it got done nonetheless. I furnished it with the bare essentials, bed, desk, light, fan, window, and a place to shit at night. The thing looked like an abomination from the outside but not a lot of people look at my house, Armor and Cadence had departed back to the Crystal Empire but Celestia and Luna were going to stick around for another day or so, I had no problem with that as long as they didn't bother me. I did as I usually did on days off when I don't have a project to do for some extra cash. I was sitting around reading, Starlight was just looking at me after I had assigned to her that every day she would write. 'I will not start a cult again' 1,000 times without using magic. Starlight dropped her pencil and tried to stare a hole through me. "Why am I doing this again?"
"To associate any and all thoughts or activities involving starting another cult with discomfort. Trust me you're getting off way easier than what people on my would be punished with."
"I just wanted everypony to be equal, is that so wrong?" She asked.
"The equality part, it's not that wrong. The way you went about it is, it got to such a point that I think Equestria itself labeled you as a threat and sent the girls to you." I turned a page in my book, "That's my working theory at least."
"What do you think would've happened if you hadn't insisted on coming?" Starlight asked.
"You would disappear to seek revenge only to end up being redeemed by Twilight. That's how this shit usually goes, I just cut through all the bullshit." I said.
"You have a very, rough way of looking at things and a very foul mouth." Starlight pointed out.
"Starlight, this isn't my world. I have to have some way to filter my immense anger, depression, and sadness or else I'd literally go insane." I put my book down. "If it weren't for the girls trying as hard as they could to get me to come out of this shitstain of a place I call home. I would most certainly be either in the dungeons or a mental institution."
"What about your journal?" Starlight asked. I mentioned it a couple of times, yet I never really elaborated on it.
"That helps, it keeps me sane. It at least gives me an outlet for all the bullshit that goes on in my life." I sighed, "Now keep going, I know you aren't finished writing."
"How do you know that?" Starlight asked.
"I kept count, you have a generally even pace when it comes to writing, I just count the words." I noted.
"Hmm, okay. I still don't understand why you're doing this for me." Starlight said out loud.
"Because believe it or not. I'm a good person, I don't want to see someone throw their lives away trying to get revenge for bullshit reasons. " I said as I closed my book and wrote in my journal. My handwriting was chicken scratch at best and unintelligible garbage at worst. I looked at my journal and sighed.
Starlight looked up. "What is it?"
"My handwriting, it sucks. I can barely tell what it is anymore." I flip back through my journal. "I remember writing it but now it looks terrible."
"Have you ever thought about getting a typewriter?" Starlight asked.
"I did, once. Then I realized that if it broke then I wouldn't be able to repair it, so then I'd have to a special repair shop so there's that." I said, "I'll just resign myself to trying to make my handwriting a little more legible."
"I could fix it for you, if it breaks." Starlight said, "I just need a few tools, they're not expensive. The major purchase is the typewriter itself."
"How the hell do you know how to fix a typewriter?" I asked her.
"I didn't build that town in a day, it took lots of bits to do so. I did odd jobs, built up some cash to buy that plot of land. So I was a librarian, a typewriter repairer, and mailmare to name just a few."
"Do you still charge rent on that plot of land?" I asked.
"No. I never did, I made money through agriculture. Wheat, grains, things of that nature, after we had taken what we needed. We then sold the surplus to neighboring villages. I may have been a cult leader but I always cared for those in my charge." Starlight commented while still writing. "I don't make money off the ponies in our town."
"I kept tabs on you." I looked at her and she looked up at me.
"H-How?" Starlight asked.
"I have a spy network. I pay people, former guards, some rouge changelings, people who want to do something than just sit still all day." I said.
"Why?" Starlight asked again.
"Because I'm a paranoid motherfucker, you ponies live in bliss day to day with no preparation for the future. The future is the only thing that's really unpredictable, and that leads to fear." I said.
"You're afraid of the future?" Starlight asked.
"Only thing that's truly unpredictable. So I try to predict it, I gather information about persons of interest which includes you, and several others. That way, if I ever confront them I'd at least have a plan." I sighed, "No plan survives first contact, they say that so much back in the movies in my world."
"Why keep tabs on me?" Starlight asked.
"No two cutie marks are ever the same well, at least statistically. There's Time Turner and Minuette both meaning two different things. I heard reports of mares and stallions with the same cutie mark by the hundreds. That was strange to me, so I had someone to change into a face to blend in, had them spy on you even during your most intimate moments." I said.
"WHAT?!" Starlight was pissed off now.
"Trust me, I didn't like it. But it brought to light who you really were, a cutie mark is almost like an identity. Once I learned what your cutie mark really was, I did some research into who you really were and discovered your past."
"That doesn't excuse your invasion of privacy." Starlight crossed her arms.
"Privacy is non-existent in espionage and war." I said.
"War?" Starlight still had some venom in her voice but now it was more concern.
"A marine's job is never over, whether on a battlefield or in life the only time we rest, is the last time we rest." I said solemnly.
Starlight paused. "You're afraid, aren't you?" She finally asked.
"Always, there's shit out there that I can't comprehend and it's far outside my realm of knowledge." I look out the window with my hand on my chin. "There are people here, who tower over me, and if it weren't for some anti-magic half cocked bullshit, I would have died a very long time ago."
Starlight looked at me, and into my eyes. "This is what keeps you safe, at least mentally."
"When in a strange land a marine falls back on what his inlaid basic instincts are." I said, with my eyes getting misty.
"You've never told the others, have you?" Starlight asked.
"No." I looked down, "In due time I'll tell them, or at least. I'll heavily hint at it."
"Why tell me then? I could've left, I could've told others. Knowing you have a spy network?" Starlight asked.
"To share the burden, and because you were a subject of interest, it'd only be fair to tell you." I said.
"So is this you telling me that you trust me?" Starlight asked.
"No, but I want you to start doing some recon for me as well. Which means, get a job. I'm not going to let you live here rent free." I said.
"What? You go from me being victimized by your so called spy network to wanting me to work for your spy network, and what would I even do?" Starlight said questioning my sudden shift in emotion.
"I know it's crazy, but I have to focus on a new objective. If I linger too long on one thing I might get trapped in a spiraling drought of depression and sadness." I said. "Seriously my sudden mood shift is actually very normal for me in hindsight. You can work at the Barnyard Bargains, Filthy Rich owes me a favor."
"You need therapy." Starlight said, "Also, does this 'favor' mean blackmail?"
"Don't all of them mean blackmail?" I asked.
"There's something, very deeply wrong with you." Starlight said, "What do you want me to do?"
"That easy to get you to spy on people?" I asked, "I thought I was going to have to coax you or blackmail you as well."
"The sitting here, doing foal like things is boring. I'm more than guessing you're just coming up with this off the top of your head." Starlight pointed out.
"You wouldn't be wrong." I said, "I need you to listen in on the gossip of these ponies around town. While it may just be random bullshit, listen to the people that they mention. They're usually not wrong about the subjects involved. Then I need you to compile a list."
"You're gonna blackmail the entire world." Starlight said.
"Something of that nature. More like, I'm gonna make a little black book. Well, I'm not gonna make it, you are."
"You're an incredibly smart man." Starlight commented. "I'd hate to see what would happen if you were against Equestria."
"I'd considered it, for a long time I did. I then thought about the potential of lives being lost, and most importantly if it would actually mean anything in the end. These villains in the world, including you at the time. Never looked at the endgame, and never considered interference, even from the most unlikeliest of sources. I have and I didn't want to be thrown in a dungeon, where the best view I have is the one where I can see a bucket full of my own shit in the corner of my mirror as I shave for my hanging."
"You've thought about this for a long while, that much is obvious." Starlight commented.
"I was angry, for a very long time. I didn't want to see hide nor hair of a pony as long as I lived in the Everfree, it was the one place where a pony would never willingly go. Then there was a day where I was just sitting around doing nothing but trying to drink myself to death. Unfortunately for me, my liver has seen hell and apparently loves the stuff. Somehow someway, this pony that barely knew me had gathered up the courage to actually leave me a letter after knocking on my door. It was from Fluttershy, I lived with her because I knew she wouldn't pester me with questions or try to purposely piss me off. I finished building my cabin and I left her place, but she left a letter taped to my door. When I sobered up I read it." I paused to catch my breath, "I remember what it said like it was yesterday."
Dear Mickey,
I know you weren't expecting this, in fact I think this would be the last thing you'd expect from me. I had to swallow my fears and wrote you this letter. I'm sorry that I couldn't tell you this face to face but I know how you feel about ponies, in fact I don't blame you for being upset you have every right to be. I wrote this letter for you because, I'm concerned for you, you stay in your house all day as far as I know and you're not very social. I know why you choose not to be social, but as the element of kindness I can't help but be a little concerned. In my nature or not anypony with enough common sense should know that this isn't health for you. I think you know it as well, I wrote this letter as to not try to get you to step outside your home, but to...well...I don't know. I know that you wouldn't want to see anypony to save your life, but you don't have to see us. If you could just please write me a letter letting me know that you're alright? I won't tell anyone else, even if you're not my friend I'm still worried.
With great concern, Fluttershy
"That's what got me started on this path, she gave me a little nudge to be a little introspective. I started off slowly, I just wrote her a letter and slid it under her door. That's why I favor her so much."
"Wow." Starlight was shocked.
"Yeah, so go get a job. I'll be here, contemplating on whether or not I should get a typewriter and publish my journal to make some money off it." I smirked.
"That's not a bad idea." Starlight said.
"Yeah right, the thought of people reading what I have to write is just as stupid as this world."
The dew dripped grass lightly gave way underneath my boots as I lead the changelings out of line of sight for the railroad tracks and into the Everfree Forest. I pulled a flashlight out of my pocket and turned it on, the changelings, those that could do magic at the moment ignited their horns into a sickly green color, illuminating the woods around us. I led the refugees through the thick brush until reaching a path several yards from where we started. The nymphs remained on the backs of the adult infiltrators still resting, and still wrapped in blankets. The refugees and I pushed on through as we heard the sounds of the steam engine roaring back to life.
The journey was a silent and contemplative one, especially on my part. In the back of my mind I could help but think, What is it that you're seeking? Redemption for what happened years ago? Or trying to save a piece of your soul that you once lost? The antagonistic part of my brain echoed within my head. Why not help people in need? Everyone has labeled them as monsters, but they fail to see the monster that lives among them already. The protagonistic voice replied to the antagonist. Maybe I just want to do some actual good for once. My inner monologue replied to both of them, which seemed to silence their input. The tale of two wolves, the monster and the guardian. I'm the one who has the burden of holding their leashes.
After several minutes of walking we finally came across a path, and I recognized where we had arrived at. I ordered the changelings to dim their horns and led them the rest of the way. I helped them through the intimidating forest that Pinkie told me about, the ones with the scary faces she called them; I knew better. Time had worn down these trees to look like monsters jumping out at you, I was unphased by their intimidation tactics. There were whimpers of the changelings behind me, it helped solidify in my mind that these people were not the monsters that the ponies thought they were, they're just people who are scared.
We soon found our way to the rope bridge, I made my way across with the ones carrying the nymphs. The ones that could fly did so over the gap, I got them across then ordered them to stay put, knowing how erratic Twilight is and how late she stays up, I had to sweep the perimeter and check almost everything. The places I knew she would be at, the library, the throne room, hell even the princesses former bedrooms. I did find the diaries of Luna and Celestia, so that's a plus. I made sure that everything was in order for the Changeling Refugees to move in and then we proceeded to do so.
The most structurally sound place in the entire castle was that of the cellar and the dungeon. They all looked apprehensive about throwing themselves in the cells, so one by one we took off the doors to the cells. Laying them in a pile at the end of the dungeon. The changelings actually like the cold, dark, and damp cells. Reminded them of home, I can't relate to that sentiment; nothing here reminds me of home...well...almost nothing. I thought as my mind went back to the 69 charger waiting for me in that garage, and the things I brought from home to begin with, and a little something buried deep in this very forest, something I swore to never use.
They made green cocoon things for their nymphs out of well I don't know what it was but fuck, it sure as hell was interesting. They were so tired, skinny and hungry, they had asked if I had any love to spare. That was a pretty good question, because I didn't know myself. So I tried, I thought of the girls. That wasn't at the level of love yet, attraction and affection. I thought of my brothers in arms, they were ones of respect and camaraderie. Then I stopped myself; there was only one thing that could make me truly generate love, and I thought that part of me was buried a long time ago, I took a deep breath through my nose and released it, I thought of my family.
The fights, the hugs, the laughter, the crying, the comfort. I thought of my younger brother, Alex. Who always had some sort of get rich quick scheme planned and in theory would work but would always fall flat on its face when put into practice. My older sister, Kira who had always changed her hair color every month, never staying the same color twice. My mom, Avis who would love me but scold me whenever I did anything even remotely wrong, and almost always had my back. Then there was my step-dad, Ron. The fact that we butted heads almost all the time, but there was still an aura of love and respect, and a gentle yet firm hand to guide my actions.
I let out a shuddering breath and the changelings flocked to me, soon enough I was radiating enough love for them to eat their fill. They stopped and I looked at them with glossy reddened eyes. They tilted their heads to the side and I dismissed their queries, informing them of how it had been a long time since I had dug up memories like those. They nodded and returned to the nymphs, I made my way outside of the dungeons and up to the throne room. I looked around, I could only imagine what kind of power plays occurred here centuries ago. The backstabbing, the ignorance, the stepping on others, the ploys and plots, now it's crumbling to the power of time, and the forces of nature. The thrones were some of the only things that still remained while one was considerably more weathered than the other both were still intimidating. They were both still radiating power, and both still empty.
The moonlight shone through a crack in the ceiling it descended to show on the less weather beaten throne, I looked to the sky. It seemed like someone was trying to send me a message, well I gotta say; message received. I slowly put one foot in front of the other, until I reached the base of the stairs ascending to the throne I placed one foot on the first step, and I knew right then and there what I was doing. I slowly ascending the steps until I was equal level with the old lunar throne. I slowly blinked, and reached out with one hand. I touched the old black marble that had since faded to a dull gray, a deep breath through my nose and releasing it through my nose. I turned around and looked to the decrepit room, with holes in the roof and walls, but they had still withstood the test of time. I grabbed the arms with my hands and slowly lowered myself down into the fancy chair, and looked down at my feet. Nothing had changed, I hadn't changed; I hadn't ascended into godhood and I hadn't become a messiah. I bowed my head and folded my hands together, pressing my head against my hands.
Raising my head looking back at the old and broken castle, I leaned against the chair with my fist pressing my cheek. The power of the throne that I now claimed as my own. The moonlight again peaked through the holes in the roof and walls, illuminating everything in the room. I could care less, there was only two things plaguing my mind, "King Nothing." I spoke to the empty room.
Author's Note
This was a personal challenge to me, it may be a quick read but I wanted to see if I could produce a chapter without any dialogue. Well...almost, I kinda cheated at the end; however I think I pulled it off.
